#ive had this sitting in my drafts for a month now

[remtan]

New Romancer 2

Rim’s 2nd album, New Romancer 2 was released on December 5th 2023! This album really shows how greatly Rim and Mao Sasagawa combine, and what they can do when they experiment together. Rim’s new wolfcut looks great and perfectly matches her edgy vibe. I’ve also noticed the general shape of it looks quite similar to Kaf’s hairstyle. I can’t wait to see her new 3D model at her upcoming Sinka live! (edit: this was written before her sinka live) Here's some of my favorite songs from the album in no particular order:

おしえてかみさま

This song grabbed me right away as the intro track. The voice sample captured my attention immediately, and the chords that followed afterwards reeled me in. One of my favorite things about this song is the piano that sounds a lot like the signal when the train crossing gates close due to an incoming train. I love how eerie and psychedelic it feels, but it also makes you want to dance.

生きているより楽しそう

I love how gritty this song is! The guitars and bass are all up in your face, and Rim’s voice complements them in an edgy, angsty fashion. The layering of Rim’s voice in different sections makes this song interesting to listen to! To be honest, I love this kind of sound from Rim the most.

Inner Child

I listened to this song all throughout 2023. The beginning piano and melody are so catchy, I love how there’s a hint of Mao Sasagawa’s voice layered under Rim’s as well. One of my favorite parts is the drum breaks appear only for a few seconds in-between Rim’s voice and the piano. I like how the first half of the song has the piano as the main instrument but then in the second half, the guitar takes over. Then near the end of the song, the piano comes in again to create the last chorus. This song is definitely one of my favorites out of the entire album!

フロム天国

A playful, upbeat song for Rim that’s still full of Mao Sasagawa's guitars. Ema also features in this song! I’ve heard that Rim is a Dustcell fan so I’m sure she’s happy to have Ema featuring in her own album. For a moment, I couldn’t tell which voice was Ema and which was Rim’s. I’d love to hear them sing together more!

Pilgrim

Pilgrim! This song was released over a year ago and currently it’s Rim’s 2nd most viewed music video at 4 million views. I immediately felt nostalgic upon hearing this in the middle of her new songs. Mao Sasagawa creates such a floaty hypnotic feeling with both his instrumentals and Rim's voice. The most memorable part of this song was Mao Sasagawa’s use of choppy voice samples that contrasted greatly against the rest of the song.

Fanfare

For some reason, this song reminds me a little of R Sound Design. It has somewhat of a groovy Jpop vibe! The outro is my favorite part, the piano is so addicting. I think out of all of Rim's new songs on this album this one will be the one I have listened to the most.

Refrain

Unlike in Inner Child where Mao Sasagawa’s voice layered under Rim’s for only a few seconds, his voice is all throughout the song. The melody feels a little lazy and laid-back but as the song goes on the melody becomes increasingly redefined by the constantly changing instrumental. I'm amazed at how quickly Mao Sasagawa can change the atmosphere of a song just by adding a few instruments. As Refrain's lyrics becomes increasingly more pessimistic and frustrated the song does as well. The MV also illustrates the changes in the song really well!

デイネイ

It's edgy but I really feel like rim had fun singing it, it has a snarky, playful vibe. I really like the piano runs in this song, it really differentiates it from the rest of the songs in this album.

Eloim

Definitely Rim’s scariest song so far, I can’t get myself to watch the MV because its too scary. It also marks an experimental change for both Rim and Mao Sasagawa. Unlike Rim’s usual songs, this song’s instrumental is full of dubstep. Rim’s whisper in the back is also very haunting. My favorite parts has to be when the guitars come in and the song builds for the chorus. I also love how Mao Sasagawa eerily trickles the piano notes, its similar to what you would hear in a horror movie. This song is currently Rim’s 4th most viewed MV at 2.4 million views, 3 months after its release. It’s right above Tall Story that she made with Guiano, which has 2.1 million views and was released 2 years ago.

不的

I love Rim's and Joucho's voices together, really putting the haunting feel of their voices together. Out of all the vwp duets, this one really stands out! It's so beautiful and edgy and eerie at the same time. I always feel like both rim and joucho are capable of capturing this mysterious, otherworldly feeling that's outside of reality. They performed this on Music Verse months ago and during the performance they panned Rim's voice to the left ear and Joucho's voice to the right ear and wow did it give me goosebumps.

Rim and Mao Sasagawa also did an interview on the production of this album here, and its a good read of rim's worldview, why they chose to use certain words in Rim's songs and also rim's career. They also touched upon Rim's identity as a virtual singer and how she often doesn't use her 3d model in her music videos. It's nice to get confirmation that this was a deliberate choice by Rim's team and that they've considered how her identity as a vsinger affects how people interact with her music. It's also sad to hear Mao Sasagawa say he's frustrated that people might dismiss Rim's music just because she's a vtuber, wherein he emphasizes because in the past people used to dismiss him because he was a vocaloid producer. However things are different today and he's grateful that vocaloid has broken into the modern Jpop scene. It makes me remember how Kamitsubaki are a rarity in the vtuber scene in terms of how seriously they promote and perform their music. Like Mao Sasagawa, I also hope the attitude towards vtuber music can change.

And in terms of the vtuber scene, it's worth pointing out how different Rim's genre and aesthetics are compared to other vtubers/vsingers. As rim's music and worldview continues to develop, I'm sure she'll continue to stand out and be a unique presence whether its in the virtual or non-virtual music scene.

[misunderstandings-georg]

My favourite little thing in House of Leaves is when Zampanò makes an incorrect comment about a bible verse, which Johnny corrects with something which is also wrong, which is then further incorrected by the editor

[ackergarden]

A what if? Olka Gretcher being on a volume cover... (because i’m in absolute mourning after episode 9!)

okay but like hear me out… olka gretcher comeback in the future. she gets on a volume cover. it’s going to be her standing with a mirror parallel to her. she’d be looking straight at the camera (breaking the fourth wall) and she’ll be in her original appearance; black hair in a low ponytail, collared t-shirt, with denim jeans.

behind her is basically a wanted poster of her and gram junior, the bounty on her head of 400,000 dalc highlighted over their heads.

headlines of the gretcher crime family in the country and all they’ve done to keep their underworld glory. how they’ve gained thousands of supporters that go against the oppressive regime.

mugshots of her family that’s been eliminated (her father, her two brothers, her late husband) posted on a corkboard. in her hand, she would be carrying a portrait of her late family—herself, her husband, and gram junior. but her late husband’s face was ripped out/charred, symbolizing his death.

in that picture that reminds olka of her family – physically gone but will always be with her – was what made her stronger.

[valeovalairs]

My parents are DIYers and so I basically grew up in Home Depot and Lowe’s and maybe that’s why I’m a lesbian.

[alittleemo]

.

[penciled-palominos]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME >:)

I don't do these often, but I always wanna when I get tagged honestly DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME FOR MY MUSIC I WILL CRY

T- Touch My Body // Mariah Carey

R- Reunited // Peaches & Herb

A- Alpha // Chrissy Chlapecka

S- Sixteen // Ayesha Erotica

H- Howlin' For You // The Black Keys

C- Coming Undone // Korn

A- ATTENTION ATTENTION // Shinedown

N- NGSYNC // Ayesha Erotica

F- FREAK // Tyga + Megan Thee Stallion

U- Up // Cardi B

L- Like a Virgin // Glee Cast Ver. [Don't judge me]

L- Lyin' to Myself // Todrick Hall

O- Oops! // Yung Gravy

F- Falling away from me // Korn

L- Lift me up // Tyga

I- I Wanna See Some Ass // Jack Harlow

F- Find someone // A R I Z O N A

E- Escape [The Pina Colada Song] // Rupert Holmes

HOLY HELL I HAVE SO MANY F'S IN MY NAME JEEZZUM

I have like,,not a lot of moots I can't tag as many as there are letters I'm sorry I'll do as many as I can 😔😔

@joplinspiderz @janort @clown-bastard-man @waitafrikk @hauntedestablishments @leafamaranth Do not feel pressured to do this I just like you guys and wanna share

URL song tag game

thank youuu @yesireadbooks

RULES: spell your url with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters.

*dramatically removes the cloth from the board*

AHEM

F- family line by conan gray

I- idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish

R-run and hide by sabrina carpenter

E-exile by Taylor swift

-

B-boys will be bugs by cavetown

U-until i found you by stephen sanchez and em beihold

T-tennis court by lorde

-

A-almost is never enough by ariana grande

S- strawberry blond by mitski

H-habits by tove lo

E-easier than lying by halsey

S- seventeen by ryan mccartan and barrett wilbert weed (from heathers the musical) -

T-this december by ricky montgomery

O-o my heart by mother mother

O-overwhelmed by royal and the serpent

oh my god 15 letters that was long.

@holdmyteaplease @spicymochi @guessillcallitart @escapetheinevitable @cabbojage @maewrites13 @macabremoons @briannaswords @tea-and-mercury @ashwithapen @blackcrxwking @lycaens @iannicellis @anonymousfoz @fioreshere

(did i choose specifically people with relatively long urls? yes.)

[cherimoyatea]

The LaDs Men healing your inner child...

...they accidentally evoke your insecurities and comfort you.

❧ Part I - Xavier - One bite away...

Pairing: Xavier x You Synopsis: You feel unappreciated because Xavier wasted your cupcakes. Tags: confused xavier almost food poisoning himself, irritated mc, food waste, mentioning of blood (a little), fluff, romance, comfort Word Count: 750 Side Notes: So, this actually turned out a bit longer than originally intended, but my brain kept spilling ideas, so I just went with it (we haven't been close lately, so I take what I can get *coughs*) I had planned to write a draft for all four men and post it in one go, but they ended up being a bit longer, so I decided to create a little series instead and post it as short stories. Deliberately avoided specifying the traumas so that everyone can project their own ideas if they like. I'm still new to writing about LaDs, but I tried to capture each man's personality as best as possible. Starting off with Xavier, since October is his birthday month! 🎉✨ Part II - Rafayel ❧ Part III - Zayne ❧ Part IV Sylus

''Huh? What do you mean by 'I'm leaving?' You just got here.'' Xavier looks at you, confused, as you turn your back on him and head towards the front door. He rubs his sleepy eyes, still unsure of what exactly happened.

You found him sleeping on the sofa in his apartment earlier and used the spare key after ringing the bell in vain. At first, you were touched by how cute and vulnerable your boyfriend looked in his sleep, but your feelings quickly shifted when your gaze fell on his open kitchen counter.

On your way to the hallway, you again, spot the cupcakes you baked for Xavier three days ago. They're still sitting untouched on the counter, and the unrefrigerated buttercream looks anything but fresh by now. You take the plate with the cupcakes and walk over to the trashbin, while a burning feeling of disappointment spreads within you as you press the foot pedal of the bin, opening the lid.

All for nothing.

You spent half the morning preparing a surprise for your boyfriend, and he hasn't even tried your baked goods. The thought that your effort went unappreciated weighs heavily on you, and you just want to leave his apartment as quickly as possible.

''Wait, what's going on here?'' You suddenly hear his voice and startle as he unexpectedly appears behind you, snatching the plate from your hands without you realizing it.

''Everything's fine. Just leave it alone.'' You shake your head, still annoyed by his lack of interest in your baking. ''Cupcakes need to be refrigerated, or they will go bad.'' Your serious stare shifts from the plate in his hands back to Xavier's bewildered face as you sigh with a defeated shrug. ''Guess, I have to throw them away now.''

''Xavier! Have you lost your mind? You could really get sick from that!''

You reach out and try to take the plate from him, but he quickly steps back and pulls it away. ''Nope. They're mine'' he replies with a soft smile, as you watch him set the plate down on the counter and take a moldy piece of pastry. Your eyes widen as he brings it to his mouth to take a bite, and you quickly grab the dessert from his hand and throw it into the trashbin.

He looks genuinely distressed as he stares at your baked goods in the trash and berates himself for his own negligence. ''You really didn’t have to do that, MC... I'm sure they would’ve still been delicious.''

An awkward silence fills the room as you sigh and follow his gaze. ''Why did you even leave them on the counter? You usually finish my food in no time...''

Only then do your eyes catch the small bloodstain at the bottom of his white sweater, and you gasp as you lift the hem. ''Xavier, what the...?!'' Your heart drops as you notice the bandage awkwardly wrapped around his right hip and he quickly pulls his sweater over the injury, attempting to hide the leaking wound, but it's too late— you have already seen it.

And suddenly everything becomes clear: Your beloved didn't eat the cupcakes because he wasn't home. He was completely unaware of the surprise you prepared for him and collapsed on his couch after he got back, drained and exhausted.

''Xav, don't tell me you were on a mission that I didn't know about...''

You say, suddenly feeling so bad for being upset over him just a minute ago.

''And what if I was?''

For a brief moment, Xavier turns away, trying to avoid your concerned expression as he considers whether to be honest with you. But then he lets out a sigh and steps closer, meeting your gaze softly.

Blue, warm eyes study every muscle on your face, trying to read your mind while you hear his soothing voice. ''Sorry for not enjoying your pastries in time. Please don't think that I don't appreciate what you do for me.''

Guilt runs through your veins as you realize that moments earlier, your partner was willing to put his health at risk in order to improve your mood, His selflessness, brings tears to your eyes, and you feel the suffocating sense of worthlessness slowly vanish from your body.

The handsome silver-blonde man softly brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his warm eyes fixed on yours. ''I've fought through every battle just to come back to you, MC. You are seen and cherished—always keep that in mind.''

Thanks for reading!

Cheri 🍒

Updated Nov. 20th:

Added links to the other parts + fixed formatting.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

The Twin Flame - Lost Outtake #1

A.N. - Alright, I know I finished this story months ago... but I've been cleaning up my drafts and I found a few lost scenes. I don't even know if I should go back and add them to the timeline or post them, but I just needed you guys to see the angst.

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes The Twin Flame Chapter List | The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe

"I had a vision, I don't know if you're gonna believe it-" Tony's voice abruptly stops as he watches your face appear on the screen before him. Just one more person gone, another name on the long list of people gone - but that loss cuts him deeper than he could've ever imagined.

"Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus."

Anger floods Tony's eyes as they dart away from you and back to Steve.

"And I needed you. As in past tense. I think that trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry." Tony stands up from his wheelchair, swiping his glass off the conference room table. "You know what I need, I need to shave."

"Tony," Rhodey tries to stop him as Tony rips out his IV. "Tony."

"And I believe I remember telling you that what we needed was a suit of armor around the world. Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not. That's what we needed."

"Well that didn't work out, did it?" Steve reminds him.

"I said we'd lose. You said we'd do that together too. And guess what, Cap? We lost. And you weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact. We're the Avengers, not the Pre-vengers, right?"

"Okay, alright, you made your point now sit down," Rhodey cajoles him, gripping his shoulder to keep him steady.

"I got nothing for you, Cap. No coordinates. No clues. No strategies. No options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar," he spits at Steve.

"Tony..." Steve tries.

Tony shakily exhales, "No, no, you weren't there...and we lost. I lost the kid."

"Tony."

"And Sunshine? Gone." He looks at the screen again. Your picture haunting him. Tony tears off the arc reactor, shoving it in Steve's hand. "The last time I saw her, she was behind bars. She disappeared thinking I hated her."

Steve's eyes squeeze shut, the memory of the fear shining in your eyes never not replaying in his mind. "Sunshine fought so-"

"You don't get to call her that! Don't you dare call her that! She trusted you! She trusted you and now she's gone!" Tony's voice breaks as his eyes burn with unshed tears. He tears his shoulder out of Rhodey's grip, pointing an accusing finger right into Steve's chest. "I will never get to make that right. And that is your fault."

Bucky Barnes Masterlist The Twin Flame Chapter List

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarnes @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064 @michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1@double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep @lunaalovesyouu @daisy-loves-bucky@roseproseposts @theoraekenslover@king814318 @maybesomedaytho @carlie-babes99 @sunshinechikin @as-white-as-snow-love @melala1030 @badasswlthafatass @armystay89 @multiversefanfics @cherrysscinema @breathlesspieceofdeath @ravenn-darkholme @bxckybxrnes24 @guiltyasreid @bellabarnes1378 @blithecapricorn @mrsnikstan @marvelatthem

[lateatnewyork]

Lilies

part I | part II | part III | part IV

Helion x reader, rhysand x sister!reader

Warnings: fluff, making out, honeymoon bliss, suggestive

Summary: In which you and Helion are happy.

a/n most definitely another filler chapter but the one with drama will be out tmrrw and my schools starting in like four days so the drafts will come out slower

Helion was the best mate anyone could ever ask for. He could cook, he understood my emotions, gave me space, could give amazing cuddles and kisses, he was great in bed but most of all he cared.

In a sense no one had ever done before. When I wanted him home, he was home. When I visited him during a meeting he made me sit in his lap and glared at anyone who decided to mention it.

We had been mated for at least 6 months by now. And it was absolute bliss. Every single day he would wake me up with his head between my legs, every single night he would worship me like a queen. His kisses made my knees weak and my head dizzy.

Sighing at the thought of him kissing me, I continue trying my best at a dish that Rhysand used to cook for me as a child.

Just as I’m about ditch the recipe and head to his office, a strong pair of arms wrap around me.

Melting into his touch, I lean back. He kisses my neck and bites at my soft spot making me moan softly.

“Hey baby,” turning around my hands run through his beautiful hair. His lips find mine almost instantly. My back presses against the counter and I arch into his touch. Pulling him closer my fingers stray to the hem of his shirt.

“As much as I would love to continue this, I have to tell you something,” he pulls away. My kind is still reeling from his intense kisses. Nodding, I ask him to keep going.

“The Night Court wants to negotiate some stuff with us,” he told me.

Raising an eyebrow I beckon him to continue. “I want you to come with me, your first appearance outside of Day Court as High Lady, and I know what you’re going to say, that you’re not ready or you’re not sure, but I know that you’re ready, I also know how much you miss your brother and your nephew,”

He was right, I mean when was Helion ever wrong?

“I suppose Nyx should meet his uncle,” I sigh dramatically.

“Can you help me make this dish, Rhysand used to make it for me,” I ask him.

“Rhysand can cook?” he gapes at me in shock. “You can cook too sweetheart,” I lay a soft kiss on his adam’s apple and start gathering the ingredients.

“I know what you’re trying to make, you relax I’ll make it for you,” Helion says pressing kisses against my shoulder.

He’s elbow deep in flour, looking like an absolute vision. His golden eyes glint in the sun, his tan skin more prominent as the sun started setting.

We had decided to get this house because of its position and how the sun was almost always reflecting some room.

In the mornings it was our bedroom, during the day it was the seating area outside and during the evening it always seeped into the kitchen.

Not that I was complaining, it made the Day High Lord in front of me look softer and almost vulnerable.

“You’re staring, my love” Helion chuckles, his voice oozing smugness. “Is it so wrong for a female to enjoy the view her mate is providing?” I question, teasing.

“No I suppose not, you know I have to put this in the oven for awhile and we have some spare time,” he cheekily suggests.

“What shall we do?” I say feigning innocence. He circles around to the side of the counter where I’m sitting and gently holds my chin, “You’re so innocent right now but wait until I have you begging and writhing underneath me,”

I gulp, his words go straight to my core.

“What are you waiting for then?”

a/n AZRIEL U WISH THIS WAS U anyway don’t think they have ovens in acotar and i js watched the pjo finale and the way luke said annabeth broke me but like my husband looked rlly fine.

[heartofwritiing]

home is wherever you are tonight

paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

summary: its your birthday, a day you dread every year due to bad memories, and wilbur manages to change your mindset.

authors note: this has been sitting in my drafts since march and i forgot about it oops. this is completely self indulgent. Ive dreaded my birthday for the past five years because of personal reasons… i thought maybe writing a non-shitty fake birthday would make me feel better so, it did lol. enjoy!! :)

warnings: self indulgent, mentions of childhood trama, negative past events, mentions of toxic family, fluff, Wilbur being the cutest-best boyfriend, hurt-comfort, yes the title is a lyric from a lizzy mcalpine song.. unedited!

The day had come. the day you dreaded every year for as long as you could remember. it was your birthday.

Most people would be elated about turning another year older, to celebrate but not you. Instead, it filled you with utter disinterest and resentment. To you, it was just another day on the calendar.

Ever since you could remember you’ve just hated your birthday. Each year just felt like they got worse and worse with the number of times You had been let down. Whether it was by family drama or people just forgetting. It was the same every year. So when you finally moved away from your toxic relatives you pretty much forget about it. Only remembering when you'd get a text from your parents to wish you a happy birthday. At least they remembered now that you were gone...

You were relieved when no one at work had brought it up. you never really talked to your coworkers about your personal life, you weren't that type of person. Still, you were grateful the only attention you got today was from one of your peers Matt, asking about the printer in the office not working right.

When you walked into your flat, what you weren’t expecting was too see your boyfriend standing near the door waiting for you.

“why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Wilbur asks in a slightly offended tone.

The front door hasn’t even shut yet and he’s caught you completely off guard with his question. Your heart drops in your stomach.

“hello to you too,” you snort, putting your bag down and sliding your jacket off. "And how'd you even know?" Avoiding the question. Cause that will make this better.

he sighs.

“Answer the question please, love,”

You’re toeing off the uncomfortable shoes you were required to wear at your job as you blankly bink back at him.

You can tell by the frowned expression on his face that he wasn’t just gonna let you drop this anytime soon. His arms are crossed over his sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his curls fall around his eyes.

“maybe because it's not a big deal,” you shrugged. Wilbur stops you with a hand on your shoulder before you can escape to your shared room. It wasn't forceful but gentle, his eyes asking you to stay, talk, anything. You just wanted to go to bed and sleep until your shift tomorrow and just forget about this whole day.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks. "I don't particularly like my birthday but still celebrate with friends, family, and loved ones."

There it was.

You wanted to avoid this.

"Look, I don't want to pressure you into talking about this, you can tell me when you're ready. I can tell how uncomfortable you got when I asked you outright why you didn't say anything about it being your birthday, I'm sorry..."

You could tell he was just confused and who could blame him. You had only been dating for about a year and finally moved in together last month. He didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for, which was one of the many things you adored about him. Always so patient and thoughtful about your feelings and well-being.

There was no avoiding it now as he asked the question. Your heart beating in your ears.

“Why don’t you like your birthday, love?”

“well…” you began, but you could feel the lump in your throat forming as you thought carefully how to put it. You clear your throat and take a deep breath. “I just, have a lot of trauma revolving around today,”

Wilbur has moved slowly towards you now, almost like you were a spooked animal and he was trying to calm you. He listened carefully as you spoke slowly.

“my parents fought a lot growing up, and even on my birthday they just didn’t seem to care, even for one day, so i mostly spent my birthdays alone.”

The look in his eyes says it all. He feels so heartbroken for you. You collapsed into his chest and he wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you firmly and you felt the weight in your chest fading.

"Well listen, I got you your favorite type of cake, a good bottle of wine, not that cheap shit, the really nice one we liked. we're gonna sit on the couch and eat, and you can tell me all about your day." he pauses only to bring your face out from his chest to look you in your eyes. "and then, we're gonna cuddle and I'm gonna tell you how much I love and appreciate you."

With that, he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs and kisses your nose softly. You swear that press of his lips was what made you cave. You began to break down in front of him.

Wilbur's hands seem to be the only thing keeping you upright at the moment. If he wasn't holding you, you were sure you would have fallen to your knees by now. You sob silently as you take his wrists in your hands but don't remove them from your cheeks. The intensity of the long work day and all the recurring memories this day brought you every year, combined with Wilbur's sweet gestures and words made you break.

You felt everything come down on you all at once, yet there Wilbur was, always waiting for you at the end of the day. Always there to comfort you and support you. So these weren’t sad tears no, they were happy tears. Finally, you found someone who cherished you and cared for you enough.

-

@trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @highstonedcat

[psychosith]

Echo

cal kestis x reader

summary: despite being close for years, you and cal go your separate ways after a particularly harsh argument. cal doesn’t see or hear of you for a long time, but stumbles across an old jacket of yours that reveals something to him

warnings: angsttttt, yelling/arguing, injuries, death, perhaps ooc!mean cal

a/n: i’m so sorry to the reqs sitting in my drafts ive had no motivation😭 specifically to the person who requested modern!anakin @ a halloween party it’s a little late for that now i feel like…. but anyways y’all might not know this but i’m obsessed w our boy cal and UGH. this prompt from @fallen-vic just struck me right and i had to get writing right away

the last four months had been a blur.

one second you were stripping an old star destroyer on bracca with cal, and the next he was fighting an imperial inquisitor while you cowered away in the corner. then you had boarded a ship with a lanky woman and abrasive latero. they had taken you to a planet hidden from the empire, a place where you thought you and cal could live safely. you couldn’t have been more wrong.

cal returned from the temple on bogano that first day talking about restoring the jedi order and a holocron? from there, it was all downhill. back and forth between kashyyyk, zeffo, and dathomir, all the while cal was forced to face strong enemies that left him on the brink of death every day. and you were tasked with patching him up at the end of every mission.

too many times have you entered his rooms while he was preparing to leave again and begged him to stay. it was always the same answer- i’ll be back before you know it. he couldn’t know, though, the feelings you harbored for him. he couldn’t understand how it pained you physically to watch him leave and come back beaten and bruised. but you stayed, because you loved him, and because you believed he wanted you with him.

it was all too much for you today. it seemed insane; they were planning to infiltrate the fortress inquisitorius and retrieve the holocron. you had stopped on a small planet to stock up on supplies before the big mission, and you were in your usual position: pleading with cal.

“cal, please,” you begged, tears welling up in your eyes. “this is just- it’s too dangerous cal! i mean, an imperial fort, for fucks sake! cal, if you didn’t come back from this… i don’t know-“

he cut you off with a reassuring hand on your arm. “y/n, i’ll be alright. i’ll have cere with me, and i’m stronger than ever. trust me.”

“you say that every time, you know. and every time, without fail, you come back closer to death than i’ve ever seen you. cal, we’ve found you passed out in the mud on kashyyyk. we’ve found you slumped against a generator on zeffo with a blaster wound in your stomach. no one will be there to find you if things go wrong this time, cal.” you say numbly, vaguely aware that there’s nothing you can say to make him stay.

“you’re being dramatic.” he says plainly. “you have no reason to be worried. i always come back, y/n. this time will be no different. you need to calm down.”

you groan in frustration, at his naïveté. “no, cal! you don’t understand… how much it hurts to watch you go. and who knows where you would be without me to put your pieces back together.”

you hear him scoff and look down at your hands as tears finally fall down your cheeks. you can tell he’s stressed by the tension in his shoulders.

“without you? y/n, i don’t need you to do this.” his words hurt, but you try to tell yourself the mission is getting to his head, that he doesn’t mean what he’s saying.

“y/n,” he says, waving a hand in front of your face, “did you hear me? i. don’t. need. you. if you’re so worried about me, maybe you should just leave. then i wouldn’t be bothering you so much.” he stood up angrily and marched off.

was he being honest? did he really want you to leave? all these years you had told yourself that he needed you with him, but maybe you had been mistaken.

you didn’t give yourself time to think. cere and greez had both made it clear that your presence on the mantis was unnecessary, and now that cal had said the same you had to go. you only packed the bare essentials: a canister of water, a couple weeks of rations, and a thick jacket for cold nights. you left through the front entrance without a word to anyone. cal simply watched you go.

a year later - cal's pov

there was no use in trying to hide it, it had been a hard year for cal. a year made much harder by your absence. he had tried to tell himself that you leaving was your decision, that it wasn't his fault. but as he played the argument over in his mind he found himself regretting everything he'd said. cal had been nervous, scared even, of the upcoming mission in the fortress. he'd let trilla and the empire get in his head, and it had cost him everything.

even after he'd retrieved the holocron - and ultimately destroyed it - he never searched for you. he didn't know why. the urge had struck him many times, but he never knew where to begin looking or what he would say to get you back.

it hurt even now, as cal lay in his bunk on the mantis weeping silently to himself. the mantis was empty, the engine humming softly as it flew through hyperspace. all the lights were out and cal's pillow was damp with tears. he hesitantly rose from his bed, staggering to the navigation panel in a sleep-deprived stupor. his cheeks are stained and his hair is tousled as he falls back into the pilot's chair, and he plugs the coordinates to a forgotten outer rim planet into the navigation system.

cal was exhausted, hungry, and mentally drained, but he managed to make it back to his bunk before he passed out.

. . .

something in the cockpit beeped quite loudly, waking cal from his sleep and alerting him that they were nearing their destination. the royal blue color of nez peron was pleasing to the eye, but brought back painful memories for cal. this was where they had made their last supply run before heading toward the fortress. this was the last place he saw the love of his life.

landing the mantis was the easy part; finding you, not so much. cal started in the sparse cities, scanning cantinas and shops, asking about a y/n l/n at every apartment complex and inn. he began to lose hope as he neared the edge of the latest city. just then he remembered you talking absentmindedly as he worked on his lightsaber, saying how it was your dream to live in the forest and live off the lands. it sounded crazy at the time, but now it made sense.

with a newfound passion, cal began searching the forests and plains for you. each dead end made him want to find you more and more, but there were no signs of life anywhere he looked.

one day, he was scanning the ground for any human tracks when a piece of fabric caught his eye. it was dusty, black, and oddly familiar. there were pieces of the same fabric just a little further up the trail he was following. up ahead, cal could just make out the shape of your thick winter coat on the ground.

his steps picked up into a light jog as he neared the jacket. as he examined it closer, he saw a dark stain had dried down on the stomach, and when he bent over to pick it up he was flooded with a powerful force echo.

_______

you had misjudged how hard life in the wild would be. the coat you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm, the water you brought only lasted for a few days, and the rations you thought would last had gone bad within the month. you were cold and hungry, and had only a pairing knife to ward off any threats in the forest. this would be a crucial mistake.

it was a particularly cold day and you were resting against a tree when you heard the crunch of leaves and the distinct mechanical whirring of an electrostaff. raiders. well, just one this time. it was a difficult feat, but you managed to ward off the raider not without sustaining many injuries. you had garnered a deep wound in your thigh and a large gash in your shoulder, luckily most of your vital organs were intact.

you hardly had time to catch your breath before a large mammal had sprung up from a ditch and pinned you to the ground. you screamed and struggled for your knife. your wounds had impaired your fighting skills, and you didn’t last long before the predator had beaten you into the floor. it was so, so cold. you must have lost your jacket at some point. you supposed the animal had lost interest, as it wandered off back into the trees, leaving you in a pool of your own blood.

the sun set behind the trees and you were still laying there, unable to move, slowly succumbing to the cold embrace of death. you could form only one coherent thought in your adrenaline crazed mind, and thus it became your last word.

“cal”

_______

the memory was like a knife to the heart for cal. he was helpless as he watched you draw your last breath, only to utter his name before closing your eyes for the final time. it finally dawned on him.

you were dead.

cal fell to his knees beside your tattered coat, a broken cry escaping his lips. it was all his fault. if’s and should’ves ran circles around his mind, but he understood the depth of this. you were gone, stolen from this world far to soon. cal mourned. he sobbed into his hands for hours on end, cursing you for leaving, cursing cere and greez for letting you leave, and cursing himself for letting his love for you blind him. of course he needed you. he always would. but he couldn’t have you any more.

his mind was blurry as he frantically followed the path he was on, searching for your body. he tripped and stumbled down a leaf covered hill, where he saw you. you were exactly as you were in the force echo, but your cheeks were hollow and your skin was sickly green. you had been dead for a long time. cal ran to your body, crying your name. he hoisted you into his arms and wept into your dirty hair.

“i love you” he muttered softly, hoping that perhaps you could hear the words he was to cowardly to speak when you were alive.

a/n 2: BYE the ending is so rushed. sorry.

[sechsviciado]

when doves cry

reaperken/touka ; written circa nov/dec 2022

no warnings or ratings really?

-

so after my slight reaperken/touka rambling yesterday i figured that i really have nothing to lose from posting this small snippet of a fic (oneshot??) thats been sitting in my google drafts for nearly the past two years; if this is crappy i can always just delete it but ive wanted to contribute a bit more to keep tokyo ghoul tumblr alive so i figure why not?

i felt so smart when i came up with the title since ken was a dove during that entire reaper arc until the events of cochlea. i didnt really pay attention to prince's lyrics in the song but looking back at it now i guess some apply? not really any inspiration was gained from it though, i just grew up with music from the 60s-90s so the title kind of came to my mind and it happened to be a prince reference. not really any ratings or warnings yet?? its nowhere near finished and im not sure if ill even finish it because i feel my writing heavily lacks.

anyway, without further ado

how many months had it been?

it had been months — years — since he recalled feeling this exact way. of course, haise had felt this way too, but it would never compare to the feelings he had for her before that brief period of time where he had lost recognition of everything and everyone who once meant something to him. ironically, it's when he felt most at peace with the butterflies in his stomach, beating against his rib cage and the cage surrounding the longing which could never be released. he’s regained his memories now, but he knew something was different within him even when he laid his glassy eyes on her again on that first visit to :re as sasaki haise. why did he feel so entrapped and yet so wrongly distant even when he had no recollection of her prior on that first visit to the cafe?

it would never be the same.

it would never compare to the feeling of falling in love with her and the realization that came with it. the realization that left him in a state of both a mix of surprise and agitation for days and with a feeling that could only be described as his heart skipping a beat and yet crumbling at the same time. it would never happen, would it? he had chosen to face that reality when he was still his old self, naive and too ashamed of his actions to actually face her after all the pain he caused her as a result of the pain which engulfed his entire life, too. too ashamed to accept his new reality, hiding behind his eyepatch — too ashamed to admit he had fallen in love so easily. he wasn't any different now.

haise may have fallen in love with her through the lens of a reborn figure with a fresh start and no boundaries to stand behind (apart from his obvious shyness and the weird sense of familiarity), but it just occurred by fate. the same fate that had snatched him from her years prior had found a way to bring him back into her arms and make him belong to her once again. he can't help but believe that maybe there was some future destined between them; the embittered part of his heart and soul makes him realize even that destiny would probably be cursed or filled with further strife.

though he supposed that didn't matter now.

not when he was even more distant from her than when he was an amnesiac with no recollection of her apart from the same old feeling of confusing comfort and longing. it's humorous and yet painful to think about how low he'd fallen in this aspect, not even being able to face her once again. despite his older age, he was still just a boy when it came to this same ancient rush, wasn't he? it doesn't matter. she surely didn't want anything to do with him anyways, especially not after everything that he's done. he's betrayed her and everyone who was once a part of him once again, and he’s chosen to accept that painful reality ever since he vowed to stop dreaming and flung tsukiyama off that building. facades all break down eventually.

though he supposed that didn't matter now, either.

he’d be disposed of soon enough before any of this could matter at all — before hinami was to be the one to disappear from the purgatory that was life as a ghoul. there was no heaven and there was no hell; there was no afterlife. heaven was bliss and safety on earth while hell was anguish and pain.

it was selfish of him to hope touka would feel any sort of pain after all of the grief and rage he's put her through time and time again, but he hoped he'd at least be remembered by the person he felt he loved most in this lifetime — the one who hadn't thrown him aside but who had instead built a nest for him as if though her life depended on it. he can't help but wonder… he’s had everyone he's ever known and cared for snatched from his hands by the same twisted fate that led him to await his upcoming death, he doesn't know if the puddle of both coldness and warmth in his stomach is either fear or love.

he'd truly cherish any memory he had of her before he’d be killed.

he vaguely remembers telling her, years ago, that he'd be sad if she died; he just hopes she would be saddened at his death, too.

[kingkennny10]

Love Me - Elvis

Kenny Mccormick x Reader

fluff, gn reader, they're adults in this, just some good ol domestic shit :] out of all the things ive written this is by far the sweetest imo, also if enough people enjoy it ill post my other stuff

Quietly sitting in your shared bedroom you begin looping Love Me by Elvis, singing along softly to yourself while laying in bed. You didn't hear your lover come home though your apartment is small. Kenny could hear your soft voice faintly over the soft song and smiled to himself overwhelmed with the feeling of love. He slinked over to your bedroom softly singing back to you.

"Darling I'll be oh so lonely~" He sang quietly opening the door taking in your form under the blankets. You looked up at him still singing, now together. He reached his pale and strong hand out to you smiling with the lyrics. You happily took it getting out of the bed looking up at him. He pulled you into him holding you close to his skinny frame. Both continuing the sweet and romantic lyrics looking into each other's eyes. He swayed you to the music throwing in some twirls to make your heart swell and a smile spread across your lips. The song looped and he dipped you making you giggle looking into his soft eyes.

"I love you baby." he said softly and placed a kiss on your lips.

"To the end of the universe." You responded and returned a kiss the same way. He lifted you out of the dip he had you in and kissed you again, this one filled with enough love to fill the room.

had this sitting in drafts for like 2 weeks, had it written on paper for like a month. i love this song an i loop it all the damn time also i hope i tagged this mess correctly

[spacesymbol]

heyyyyy. crazy month and a half, am i right? 😅

my sincerest apologies for the truckload of reblogs.... plus even more sincere apologies if i reblogged a very old post of yours that you forgot about 😭

ive had those sitting in my drafts for a WHILE so that they wouldnt get drowned in my likes.... but i have some weird mental hangup about posting here without also posting a Life Update..... but i kept procrastinating actually writing a Life Update..... so here we are!!

anyways. that being said. LIFE UPDATE TIME!!!!! (no cut since theres actually some very important stuff in here)

first and somewhat foremost, i submitted SEVEN college applications exactly a month ago. for context, my entire applying list (as of right now) is only nine schools. and i procrastinated SO HARD on the application materials.... it was soooo bad. basically mid october to early november was the most stressed i have ever felt in recent memory 😁👍 and i coped with it soooo well, as i historically always do (sarcasm)

the fall play(s) also recently came and went!!! the rehearsal process wasnt that bad, it was moreso just anxiety provoking since i was constantly saying "yeah it (the show) will come together eventually" even when opening night was a few days away... but the show(s) did come together!! at least, my two scenes did. i honestly can't speak for anyone else, but my scenes both went fine during all three performances with minor errors, if any

although, the week of performances and the last few days of tech was so very brutal. i had to be in the theater until 8pm or later every single day of that week (november 18th to the 23rd), which meant i was in school for over twelve hours each school day. i had to put a lot of things on the backburner to focus on the show (and not losing my mind) that week, and schoolwork was one of them.... so i am currently once again in overdue assignments hell. my classes have been fine other than that though!!!

my mental, emotional, and physical health also definitely have been on the backburner for a WHILE now.... a wonderful example is how i havent seen my therapist in two months now, and for context, im supposed to see her once a week!!! so im clearly doing fine (sarcasm). its weird though, the play honestly wasnt that distressing for me, since i had already hit mental rock bottom earlier that month because of college applications

my physical health has also Not Been Good at all.... one of my scenes in the play (the gay one) involved a shit ton of stage falls.... and our stage is made of polished wood. we took all the necessary precautions to protect my bad knee (knee pads), but that didnt do much to prevent the ridiculous amount of bruising all over my body that i still have a week after the final show.....

eating has also been Bad. but i wont go into details about that 🫶 ive been able to keep having regular appointments with my dietitian, so genuinely dont worry about that. i will be fine!!

ive also been like. mentally checked out for a while, i guess. like i mentioned, ive been doing some research into dissociative disorders and symptoms to get more clarity on if im a system or not (which i do have an answer on btw), and i think the best term to describe it is depersonalization?

and uh. okay this is actually really important. about the system thing, i came to the conclusion after a LOT of research and self reflection that i do not think i am (or ever was) a plural system. i dont think i should post the entire esaay i wrote on how i came to this conclusion (because i dont think most of you want to read all that). but if any mutuals want, i am MORE than happy to dm the whole explanation, since i know it might raise some eyebrows that i suddenly dont identify that way anymore

however, the tldr is that im pretty sure i have dissociative amnesia instead, because i never once experienced amnesia between the personas that i thought were alters, and these personas were never really that separate from me, moreso extensions of me in terms of personality, if that makes sense. there were also some.... quirks of how my "system" operated that also made me suspicious, like how i was basically always frontstuck, and how my "frequent fronters" ALWAYS aligned with my interests at the time. i honestly think that i only arrived at the conclusion that i was a system in the first place because of the environment i was in at the time (the majority my friends at the time had the system realization and were talking about it), and the fact that no one ever really questioned me being one. which im NOT saying that i wish people had, since thats rightfully a very rude thing to do, but i definitely would have benefited from someone kindly calling all that into question, yknow?

the biggest takeaway though, should be that i didnt know until very recently. there is a world of difference between intentionally lying about being a system, and unknowingly being wrong about being a system. the MOMENT i started to suspect that i was wrong, i made it known here (in the previous Life Update) and on twitter, and i refrained from using any system terminology for myself until i came to a definitive conclusion, which i only did recently. additionally, i recently removed the system section from my pronouns dot cc, and my simplyplural account is still up, but obviously not in use

ummm. other personal updates.... im hopefully going to start legal and medical transition soon?? my stepsister (also trans) has been pushing my mom and stepdad for it as a result of the election, which sparks the conversation for me by extension

as you can probably tell by the majority of the recent reblogs, the release of season 2 reawakened my dormant arcane hyperfixation 😭 it somehow came back even stronger??? if any of you happen to remember my jayvik posting from november 2021, you deserve a spacesymbol elders discount....

what else..... oh um!!!! i had an awesome joe cool (snoopy) costume for halloween this year that i made extremely last minute :)

okay. okay!!!!!!! in terms of the future!!!! im on thanksgiving break right now until this tuesday and the break is Extremely welcome.... the spring musical (aka my final high school theater show) has already been announced, and its curtains, which should be exciting, but i dont have to think about that for a While....

in terms of like Immediately upcoming things, my schools robotics team has our first qualifier coming up so im gonna have to lock in on preparing for that soon.... for college stuff, i should be getting two decisions fairly soon (one from my early decision school and one from a rolling deadlines school), and i have two more applications for early january, but all i really have to do for them is finish writing their supplements..... so HOPEFULLY i should be slightly more active on here??? i feel like every time i say that i end up jinxing myself for inactivity, though. so honestly, who knows!!! but i dont really have as much of a Pressing Reason to not be active here, i guess

thats all.... jesus fuck i wrote a lot. my bad!!! no wonder i procrastinated writing this GODDAMN!!!!

[dutchwinter]

top 5 anthony images hehehehe

sigh. me when im in a sending the most difficult ask to answer competition and my opponent is kier franthonyofficial. get ready for THIRTY IMAGES instead of five. because im not choosing. i turned this into less of a favorite images thing and more of an essential images thing. essential to me.

july 21 2019 warped tour. beautiful smile. need i say more

apple store world. bands will walk in there and be beautiful!!!

beautiful face cheerleader moment. you know how it is

its just. it. its just so. its an image yeah.

Well

good dog. for reasons. yk how it is.

this one is some weird main character moment of anthony at a this day forward show. why is he the only one facing the camera

blond. bandana. malamute shirt. mic in his mouth. im in love with him.

um. i havent shared this one to tumblr yet! hes uh. well. its fine. actually. its totally fine.

captioned. brendans daughter giving anthony some needed love. i dont even care though so its fine

just my favorite image of this dress he is very pretty

a screenshot i had that i turned into a post that is sitting in my drafts TO THIS DAY that i will never ever post. captioned "me when i sleep like a gayboy" so basically ive just posted it but. this post is so important to me i had to include it.

the one i refer to as "die" bc i tagged this image that once bc his smile and pretty face piss me off

im in love with him

miss.... maam.....

the babygirlest image of all time. the field image

now this is from the show i became really aware of this guy and its still stuck in my head. princess... hi princess...

i spent 3 hours watching this video it was the worst night of my life this image was the first time i had ever seen anything from it. and its also just. THE woman moment of all time.

mustache moment and big fuckin jacjet moment and beautiful smile moment. idec

this image was my laptop background for a loooonggggg time i just think anthony looks really really nice idk

my show my image. he looked like that in front of my eyeballs. fucked UP.

it doesnt feel right to not include this image!!!!

this is one of the first anthony images i felt really really strongly about like i had a big Moment about this. hes so.....

the famous Eating Him image. when this dropped i went to reblog it over here and i tagged this specific one as "eating him" but this was like. before anyone was really an AnthonyGirl so i was SCARED TO POST IT. and then i never did. it sat in my drafts a while but eventually i either deleted it or got rid of the tag. eating him

puppy angel. hes pretty :^[

i also have not posted this one! lollipop/mic stand #howhedo #younglegstour. yeah

hotbar. whatever. if i SPEAK.

just fell to my knees in walmart/IM GOING TO ANTHONY WORLD. reblogged on march 28 with the tag "im goint to anthony world." and that set off the month of Anthony April and then i never left anthony world. yeah. yeah.

if you really read all of this. hi. how are you. this was a very useless post

[thegeeksideofsr]

Recovery

I'm alive!!!!

Life has been busy and I've had this tucked in my drafts for awhile. I hope to get back into writing, both Eliot fics and some original stuff if anyone is interested.

But in the meantime, I give you this!! Not a full fic, but a blurb that takes place just after Blood Stains .

The doors to the trauma room swing open, causing the three of us to jump. I open my eyes and look at the doctor, as he walks towards us.

"You're here for Detective Baker?"

"Yeah that's us."

"We stopped the bleeding. The bullet entered his left side, it nicked an artery but you got to him in time. If you hadn't slowed the bleeding when you did he wouldn't have made it."

"He's gonna be ok?" Hardison asks.

"In time, yes. He also has cracked ribs, we treated them, between that and the gun shot wound, he should be on his feet in a month or two. He's being moved to recovery as we speak. We had to give him a mild sedative."

Parker huffs out a laugh.

"He's not gonna like that," She mumbles.

"Can we see him?" I ask the doctor.

He looks at me, he takes a breath but hesitates.

"Family only, I'm afraid."

"We are family."

He doctor watches me a moment more before he nods.

"Alright. But one at a time. He's still under sedation, but I'm sure he'd appreciate a familiar face when he wakes up."

"Thank you."

I look at Parker and Hardison, ready to ask if one of them would like to go first, but Hardison speaks before I can.

"Go. We need to grab a change of clothes and talk to Nate and Sophie. We will be back later.

I nod, the turn to the doctor. He gestures for me to follow him, he leads me down a hall and through a few corridors, coming to a stop in front of a door.

"He's in here. You can press the call button if you need anything."

I nod to him, then watch him walk to the nurses station at the end of the hall. I take a deep breath then open the door.

Seeing him laying is surreal. He lays so still I would have thought he was dead if it weren't for his chest moving and the heart monitor on the wall making a soft beep with his heartbeat.

I sit in a chair next to the bed, I hold his hand in mine. It's lost most of the warmth it usually holds. Normally he's the one who hold my hand when something happens, but now that it's him, it feels like a dream. Like I'll wake up and he will be yelling at Hardison for something.

But it's not a dream. He lays there, almost looking small, chest rising and falling steadily, his hair his spread out on the pillow, the usual crease between his eye brows is smoothed out. A peaceful look replacing the near constant scowl he wears.

I bring his hand to my face to press a kiss to the back of his hand, threading my fingers between his.

"Please wake up soon," I whisper.

I lay his arm back down with out letting go of him. I lay my head down next to his hand, letting my eyes close again, the quiet beep from the monitor lulling me to sleep.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The sound of the door opening jerks me awake. I sit up and look at the door to find a nurse coming in. She looks at me and smiles, then walks to the monitor on the other side of the bed, she then checks the IV bags and tubing to Eliot's arm.

" Is he ok?" I ask her.

"At the moment, the sedative should were off soon. It's good your here. He's a lucky man to have you here for him."

I smile at her then turn to Eliot. I must have a look on my face because the nurse speaks again, a knowing tone in her voice.

"You're in love with him."

"What?" I snap to look at her.

"I can see it in the way you look at him. I've seen that look before in couples."

"We aren't a couple."

"Mmmm. Maybe you should fix that. You almost lost him today. It would be tragic if something happened again and he wasn't as lucky as he was this time."

I look at her. She right, but telling him now feels like the wrong time.

"It complicated. We are best friends and partners, if my feelings did something to jeopardize that, I don't think I could handle it."

She nods then heads to the door.

"Call me if you need anything, dear."

"I will."

I stand and pace the floor at the foot of the bed, worrying my lip and playing with the hem of my shirt. A quiet groan from the bed catches my attention.

Turning back to Eliot, finding a small frown drawing his eyebrows together. I walk back to the side of the bed, whispering his name as I take his hand in mine, pressing the back of it to my cheek.

He squeezes my hand, his grip not as strong as it usually is, it still causes a smile to spread across my face. His head rolls towards me, the crease between his brows to deepens, his eyes open just enough to show his pretty blue eyes off.

" Hi." I say to him, tears blurring my vision.

"Hi," he grumbles, then looks down to my chest. "That's my shirt."

I huff out a teary laugh.

"That's all you have to say after nearly dieing?"

"Nearly died before. Never seen you in my shirt before."

I shake my head at him, then move to hit the call button so the nurse can check on him now that he's awake, but he grips my hand tighter, stopping me. I look at him with a questioning look, but he just stares at me.

"What?"

"Was that true?"

"Who?"

"What the nurse said."

My heart drops.

"You heard that?"

"Yeah. Was just coming out of it."

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"What does it matter if it was true?"

"It matters."

A silents settles over us. We sit there staring at each other as if we could read each other's minds.

He takes a breath to say something else when the door bursts open, Hardison and Parker falling in the door. I release his hand and move to stand at the end of the bed.

"Is he awake yet?" Hardison asks me.

"Yes, dumb ass, I'm awake, and you are too damn loud."

"Well good to know you're already back to normal."

Eliot huffs out a laugh, then holds his side, face scrunching in pain.

"I'm gonna get the nurse." I say as I walk out of the room. I hear Eliot say my name but I ignore it and continue to the nurses station.

I find the same nurse that checked on Eliot earlier and tell her that he's awake and seams to be in pain. She nods then heads to his room.

I don't follow her, I stand at the counter of the station trying to figure out what Eliot meant by his response. I decide to let it go. He's probably high on pain meds, and probably won't remember that conversation tomorrow, just act like every thing is normal.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Eliot Spencer Tag list :

@katbratsupernaturalwhore @fictional-hooman @skyeofbees