#ive had this in my brain since forever lmao

[saltyfryz]

[orcelito]

a solid month and a half in trigun fandom & i already have over half as many trigun followers as p5 followers from my 2+ years in That fandom lmfao

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

i see that ive been too fixated on tesilid as the central node... youre right, of course it should be hestio that's at the centre of all this. it would be so funny. i need to see him exploding and getting flustered getting attention from literally the two most attractive people in the world. (not that he's ever given any indication that tesilid's looks has any effect on him, but yknow)

and also tesilid's character being stuck in the countryside or something at the start of the story, and him going "i wonder how allie's doing 🥰 i can't wait to see her" and then finally reaching the point in the story where they can meet and he sees. covers my face. ailettehestio. who have already discovered how much chemistry they have and settled into their new, much closer and almost romantic-established-relationship dynamic. that would be incredibly funny and incredibly horrible for both tesilid and ailette and also hestio who doesn't even want to be here. your brain is so big!!!

i want to read an ailette/hestio story so bad because i just really want to see hestio x someone who's constantly and reliably able to fluster him.

but the problem is that hestio and ailette are connected by tesilid, and the instant ailette and tesilid are both in the equation then the endgame has to be tesilid x ailette monogamy because theyre so stupidly devoted to the other. no third party could possibly hope to match their level of obsession with each other

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenjaku is genuinely so creepy and i think that’s one of the reason why i love him SOOO much !! ive always had a liking towards characters who are insanely messed up and grotesque and kenny is like the perfect example of that. hes gross like — actually. i think hes a good example of how genuinely fucked up jjk is, and as much as people hate him i think he’s such an amazing character. gege’s dark writing when it comes to him and sukuna is so IWHSHSBSHEWJW !! sukuna being a cannibal and his entire thing revolving around cooking is so cool to me. like his entire character circles around things like that. he can use fire which.. cooking! when you cook you can eat! sukuna eats ppl.. his malevolent shrine is just a bunch of slashes which cut you to death and when you cook you’re usually cutting and chopping things.. with kenjaku and the whole pregnancy thing as well.. the womb.. it’s like disturbing and honestly it makes ppl a little sick but i find it so interesting because that kind of writing i LOVELOVEEE SMM!! kenjaku was willing to do the most nasty things just to get his plan to work. he’s such a scum of the earth guy sigh.. that’s why im so SOO happy i found this blog because you also like kenjaku and i can safely talk about my love for him without getting jumped 💔 im really sorry this is so long!! im just really happy it’s a safe spot to talk about these things! i love horror :3

i love kenny 🐑

THIS THIS THIS THIS . GOD. THIS.

i literally love you so much lambnon you worded this perfectly….. i loveeeee horror elements in fiction and i agree that jjk does it so so SO well!!!! sukuna & kenjaku are such great examples because not only are they morally reprehensible in really disgusting ways, they also … feel literally no shame over it. they never try to justify it . morality doesn’t even exist to them, and i think villains like that are sooo fun <33

sukuna’s cannibalism and general thematic ties to food & eating is SO tasty especially since it all goes back to him eating his twin in the womb … it’s like eating is a curse that follows him around but he’s made it into a point of pride. you know? he’s so unabashedly awful and i loveeee that about him…..

AND KENJAKU. i agree on all points!!!! everything!!!!!! he’s soooooo creepy and so eerie and so gross. i find it really funny and fitting that even sukuna thinks of kenjaku as a freak LMAO. which is . extra interesting when you remember that the womb is a special place even to sukuna… and kenny sort of… perverts it. he makes it into his own science lab. it’s so twisted and sickening and tasty because kenjaku doesn’t just impregnate that woman from the kamo clan, he impregnates himself!!!! and i can only imagine that he did it partially just out of worldly curiosity which is….. sooo . him? he’s so insane? 😭

literally nothing is off limits to kenjaku, and that makes him such a fun villain….

^ i think he says it best himself :3c

the womb motif in general is also so . Good… the motherism of it all….. i’m forever bitter that we never got to see his domain in action because the fact that it’s basically a manifestation of a womb realm is soooooo fucking sick oh my god. body horror is so scary to me but also so insanely tasty and the fact that kenjaku’s whole character revolves around it just!!! scratches my brain. no pun intended.

anyway …. this ask made me a little insane. i’m so happy to have you here lambnon!!!! :’3 this blog will always be a safe space for lovers of the grotesque / of kenjaku in general <333 our beloved scum!!!

[gh0st-patr0l]

Okay @junglemax got me thinkin a LOT abt my circa 2020-21 era in-kayfabe supernatural nonsense au Ive had in my brain forever so I'm just gonna dump a bunch of my headcanons here. Read them or dont idk Im not ur dad

So Darby is obv undead. Either fully or half dead idk but the point is he died and it didn't stick- some kinda fucked up necromancy magic brought him back just a little Wrong

For the most part, he had to figure out what he is and how he's changed on his own, through trial and error. Until he met Sting- hes like, a fuckin warlock or some shit whos been around Forever and seen Everything. He finds Darby and decides 2 teach him how to actually deal with all his undead stuff

Okay so this ones kinda crazy but I really like it. Luchasaurus was a human professor who got mutated with a dinosaur in a lab accident, fly style. He got sent out to the middle of nowhere to hide while he adjusted to his new life. That's where he met Jungle Boy

JB is literally a kid who got raised my monkeys. Maybe he got stranded in a plane crash or something idk. Hes like 12 when Lucha finds him

Luchasaurus decided to take JB in, and when he goes back to civilization he takes JB with him

JB missed the crucial stage of language development, so he struggles to form actual sentences. Despite that, which Lucha's help he actually knows a lot of words and can communicate in simplified speech, though talking is still weird for him. Hes kind of self conscious about it bc he knows he sounds strange. He prefers ASL, though again there's no real sentence structure

Kris is for real an alien. She like crashed onto earth a while ago, but was held captive in Area 51 for years. She recently broke out and ran into Orange by chance. He gave her a ride to the city and didn't say anything when she followed him to his and the Best Friends' place. Chuck and Trent had questions. None of them were answered. They just kinda shrugged and she's been with them ever since

Orange is. Probably human? People think? But nobody's Sure

Idk what the setting looks like here. I usually picture a superhero/villain comic book type context but I've only done a little worldbuilding for that. Maybe Ill get into it and flesh that oht more if anyone's interested in this lmao

[kaeyapilled]

hey! your kaeya takes are so real!!! I was wondering if you had any good fic recs?? I want to read something that has good kaeya characterization (+bonus if it's ragbros that isn't just them crying and hugging it out like you were talking about) and am tired of scrolling through tags

!! omg thank you im so honored to hear that people like my takes lol

fic recs huh!! i have some!! do you mind it if most of them are about child kaeya? (i hadnt realized how many of my bookmarks focused on his childhood until i went through them all lmao) hopefully it isnt all stuff youve already read before! here goes:

A Horse Makes for a Stable Life by FollowerofMercy – Wanting to test the boundaries of his host’s goodwill, Kaeya asks for a pony for his birthday. He didn’t expect Crepus to deliver. Or, the story in which things get uncomfortably real for young Kaeya.

do you like kaeya and crepus interactions!! because this fic explores their dynamic in suuuuch a nice way that felt very refreshing to see portrayed!! perfect ratio of hurt to comfort in my opinion. overall quite lighthearted compared to my other recs though lol. good exploration of kaeyas inner conflict since a young age. yeah i love it and recommend it

I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone by imaginarypasta – A selection of scenes from Kaeya's childhood related to his relationships with his fathers, and all they have led him to be.

this one is so good!!!! i feel like its rare to see kaeyas biological father portrayed as anything other than a heartless asshole, and this fic explored kaeyas relationship with him in such a nice manner that makes for a very melancholic and. i guess bittersweet story that takes into consideration the nuance of the situation in a way that i really dont see super often. the parts about kaeyas relationship w crepus are also really well done i love it. oh and the khaenri'ah lore the author takes some liberty with is really really interesting!!

not bad for a walk on death's doorstep by b_attery – Fear is a knife’s edge. Fear is a killer. Fear is how you know you’re still alive.

my bookmark of this work said "literally the best kaeya character study ive ever read" and honestly i still stand by that. the word flow is great and the exploration of fear as such an intrinsic part of kaeya's life and as the driving force for most of his actions and feelings and responses. it's so good!!! this one contemplates kaeyas childhood both before and after his arrival in mondstadt and goes until after diluc's return. absolutely recommend it!!

Hundred-Watt Light by pepperjuice – A story about ten years of contingency plans and holding your own hand. (Because how else are you supposed to live with a weight too big to hold all alone?)

this. this rewired my brain forever. this holds the title of best kaeya character study ever along with the previous one i talked about. definitely mind the tags because it primarily deals with suicidal ideation and thoughts so, if that's a trigger then it's best to not read this one lol but still it is SO good and it explores kaeya's inner conflicts and awful coping mechanisms after having such a heavy burden thrusted upon him at an extremely early age with no good support of any kind. i absolutely love this fic it's very dear to me and i think about it sooo often it truly altered my brain chemistry

things fall apart by kernsing – Happy eighteenth, Diluc.

finally some ragbros content! sadly it isnt the reconciliation you asked for it's about when things fell apart. this is one of my favorite ever renditions of how it all went down on That Day - it reshaped some of my own headcanons, actually. this one is more from diluc's pov than kaeya's, and it's written really really well, and explores diluc's grief over his father's death in SUCH an amazing and interesting way!! and the way it parallels kaeya's own emotions and that is exactly what causes them to fight is extremely tasty i loved it. read it it's good

okay i can probably find some more but this is enough for one post i think. deeply sorry for not delivering the good ragbros reconciliation content.. i tbh haven't gathered a lot.. but i hope you and whoever else reads this enjoys these! thank you for the ask <3

[lincolndjarin]

i didnt realize we hit 1500 until just now :,)

thank you all so much, ily ily ily, i love sharing my writing with you all and im so excited for whats to come. i dont have anything special planned as a milestone celebration so instead of that i will post a section of the din series ive been planning lol

me when its time to write another enemies to lovers slow burn forced proximity din djarin fic with religious undertones ^

just uhh for context btw im not gonna post many spoilers or other teasers for this but its important to the sneak peek that yall know that reader is a cyborg in this. a good chunk of the right side of her body has been replaced with robotics so yeah and din is a real dick about it lmao. enjoy !

⚙️

“I don’t travel with droids.” His voice reminds you of Boba’s when he wears that ridiculous helmet of his. Cold and hollow, more metal than man.

Boba sounds almost defensive of you when he speaks again. You can picture him leaning forward in his chair, the way he does when someone snaps at him. “She’s not a droid.”

“How much of it is even human?” You can’t help but flinch at that, no ones ever spoken about you in such a manner before. No one with a brain would disrespect someone like “Lord Fett” like that.

“She’s not an it.” Fennec speaks for the first time since all of this started, her voice is a hiss you’ve never been on the receiving end of before but you’ve heard her snarl at others before, slavers and other scum who come seeking a boon. You always wondered why such monsters would dare show their faces here, of course Boba dealt in criminal activity but never with people that foul. They often came seeking a Lord Fortuna, and were instead met with the barrel of Fennec’s rifle.

You can’t help but wonder if this “friend of Boba’s” is going to meet the same end. Both of them said they knew him well when he arrived but now they speak to him like the stranger that you know him as. A rude stranger.

The silence that follows is long, you can’t help but wonder if Fennec really did draw her weapon, before you can bring yourself to sneak a look around the corner you hear the all too familiar throat clearing noise that Boba makes before coming to a verdict.

“Look, either she watches the kid here, or she watches the kid with you. Either way she’s going to be involved, you just need to decide if you want to be there to keep an eye on her.” He always says everything with an air of finality, no wonder no one ever debates his decisions. The stranger barely has a chance to sigh before Boba continues. “No one trustworthy on Tatooine is going to take a babysitting gig for what you’re willing to pay.”

“I can’t afford anything more.” He’s furious. Even through the voice modulator you can hear that he’s trying not to lose his cool, but there’s an edge of desperation hiding under his anger.

“She’ll work for free. I’ll even cover her expenses.” You know Boba would do anything for you but this just seems like a bit much. He’s negotiating as if this man didn’t come to him asking for help.

“You want to get rid of her that badly?” Ouch. Rude and presumptuous.

“The last thing I want to do is lose her. That’s why I’m sending her with you.” You don’t doubt that. He’s proven to you enough how much you mean to him, even when he had no reason to.

“Sounds like you’ve made the decision for me.” Sounds like he made the decision for you as well. Has he even considered that you don’t want to go with him? Your desire to see the galaxy is fizzling out the more you think about having to travel with someone who doesn’t even see you as a person.

Another beat of that silence, dripping with tension before Boba takes control of the conversation once more. “She can’t stay here forever. I promised her she’d get to see someplace other than this dusty floating rock. They need me here. They need Fennec here. There aren’t many I would trust to do this but I know she’ll be safest with you. So take her or don’t, but you aren’t going to find anyone else to watch the kid for what you’re offering.”

“Find someone else.”

“There isn’t anyone else.” His patience is wearing thin. You know him well enough to know that he’s likely to snap soon. “You’re not the only one who’s trying to keep their family safe.” The authority in his tone reminds you of the exact reason no one ever argues with Boba.

Not even rude strangers who come bearing absurd demands and who claim to be friends.

“Fine.”

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]

I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE

HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!

IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.

awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)

since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe

i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.

ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.

so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction

so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)

mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by

but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).

its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.

i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.

when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)

hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3

[morgombie]

Hiiii. I'm just here to hear about your current favorite fantroll/fantrolls. I like hearing people infodump and I wanna learn more about your babies <3 Who's rotating in your brain rn?

this ask is from forever ago im so sorry ToT but i was waitin to answer till i had the brain capacity to think on it

rn the trolls in my brain are izmera, baster, and rhiati... i love those guys :'3 mostly thinking about rhiati at the moment

i dont explore my characters stories suuper in depth on the blog, as most of the interactions and lore talk is done on discord, but i do like rambling abt them any chance i get! and i have a lot of big feelings on the intricate detailing of each of their stories... more + extra art under the cut :]

rhiati's story was written originally as a tragedy; they were never meant to survive the virus taking over their mind and body, and they were doomed to become the monster they always feared they would. now, however, their fate is up in the air--my friends and i have spoken a lot about a potential cure, and so i might play with that :] but definitely not until after rhia has gone through everything i have planned for them JKHDG their story may have a happy ending, or it may not, but its meant to be tragic nonetheless

i love them very dearly... i say as i put them through the horrors KJFHDGDG but its true!!!

currently in their story, rhia's moirial, aselin, is housing them in their hive on the outskirts of town. aselin is within a sort of guild that hunts shadow droppers, and rhia got involved one day by not listening to aselin's warnings to stay away. they got attacked and subsequently bit by one of the monsters, and have since been hiding out in aselin's hive as the two try their best to maneuver their situation

eventually, as rhia's infection gets worse, and it gets harder to hide the fact that theyre turning, the guild catches wind of whats going on and the two moirails flee for rhiati's life. from there, the story is less concrete as rhia's fate isnt yet decided, but they end up on the run for either the remainder of rhia's life (likely a few months before they fully turn), or until they find/make a cure :]

there's obviously a bunch of detail ive left out, but thats the general gist! these 2 make me emotional.....................

i could go on about the other trolls i have as well but... i shant or this ask will be 89474867 pages long LMAO TY FOR THE ASK <33

[stairzzzz]

Venti x angel!reader

idk how tf to write a proper fanfic and i’m like really tired so idk i just wanna share my idea/brain dump for a fic LMAO fic below image :3

picture this, like user is initially like rahh i hate these darn archons gods i’m gonna be the next god cause these darndid losers think they’re so cool i’m gonna kill the anemo one rahh and like upon seeing him users like omg actually he’s kinda.. no i gotta kill him! ohh but… runs away from the situation and hides away in the forests and cries through internal conflicts and turmoil cause user is like a piss baby or smth

and then venti “accidentally” finds user and is like dear angel why do you weep? and user is like aggressive at first but venti sees that user genuinely won’t do much to him- past some mean words ig and like he gently talks with user and makes them open up and then users like, tbh i am lost celestia, sent me down and yet i have no guidance, i should believe in celestia heavenly principals rahh yet i don’t.. i feel like shit blah blah trauma


and ventis like, yo, let’s go drink our worries away, the wine in mond is like totally epic. like they slowly fall inlove but user meanwhile is like grr i wanna kill him.. oh but like one more hangout… rahh but he’s so lame… i’m lying to myself.. no i’m not!! yes i am…

and eventually venti saves user from an attack or smth and like users like ohmahgah i owe you my life blah blah and ventis like oh, no dw bro it’s the land of the free don’t be pressured and users like stfu i worship you now cause you’re so cool and epic i do this from my own free will

time serving and shii. user protects mondstadt like an honorary wind? direct warrior angel thing for venti? shit hits the fan and venti does his 500 year nap?? LMAO and user like goes to zhongli for friendship for 500 years as like a mini side plot relevance thing cause users like still kinda like humans are mid lowkey the heavenly principles celestia whatever the fuck made a mistake with them LMAO they die so fast they’re so delicate they’re so lame And UGLY and STINKY lmao whatever have it

And like so far venti and user has had a fair few intimate moments throughout their interactions and it’s like implied but it’s still mostly platonic and like close close close besties homies typa thing?? (users kinda stupid piss baby so they’re like yo wtf is this feeling? oh it’s just my love and worship for jesus barbatos)

venti wakes up and comes back and users like emeerger i sense a change in the wind- where is he?? where is my beloved i mean where is my god? cue them searching mond and finally seeing venti and like user runs into his arms and is like omg barbatos!! i knew the wind had returned and ventis like oh my dear user you sure have missed me LMAO

emotion relief slightly and venti is like and i go by ventii as my human disguise lololol and user is like oh should i have a human disguise as well?? lmao??? and like he’s like ahh nahh.. maybe actually if you gonna hang round me like this LMAO

they have a catch up, user trauma dumps like i thought i’d be forever lost again- i wanted to die yadda yadda whatever yunno. they have a vulnerable moment and they finnally kiss like

user is yapping like oh barbatos ive loved you since we had our first drink even though i was lowkey murderous LMAOAHA and ventis like ily too since our second and like yeah but you couldn’t ever harm me cause you’re stinky like that HAHAHHA. yunno? like a fell first fell harder thing. they kiss again more cheesy romance yadda yadda fluff

then say gex

i hope you liked my brain dump HHAHAH I KNOW ITS BAD 💀💀💀

[dashielldeveron]

just finished reading the izuku chapter for the second time and im so fucking blown away. your izuku makes me crazy hes so deranged i love it, it makes me feel like my freak is being matched with hoe insane i was trying to figure out who the secret character was lmao.

your izuku has ruined all others for me permanently because where else am i supposed to find a guy who’s as insane and determined and sexy as he is?? where am i going to read about a guy wanting me so much he died because rejected him? and he’s sososo caring + insane. the ask where you replied about him mumbling about all of the erogenous zones. so true and it killled meeee. i love that crazy man so much. not only do i his characterization just in general i also think it’s incredibly accurate interpretation of what izuku would be like in that situation and that’s what kills me the most. i love how (and this is not only talking about current route but all previous ones as well) in character and sexy he is. like he’s doing something in character sexy. like yes he would do all that weird shit and i love him for it. it’s infinitely important to me lmao. i don’t think i really articulated that well but i’m hoping my neurons are reaching your neurons and you know what i mean.

(also very much liked katsuki in this fic because he was also exhibiting 10/10 freak behavior, kissing opened mouth when my soulmate is in the room and the glimpse of our life with him was him having mc sit on his face like a chair? it’s very fun to revisit him in this route considering he was first written if you ever do vignettes [want to make it super clear that I don’t want it to come off like I’m pressuring you to write them, it’s just something I like to think about because this ff has a hold on my soul lmaooooo but that goes for anything you’d want to write ever] it’ll be so exciting to see him again as i love freaks)

world building 10/10, plot line 10/10, my favourite deranged guy 10/10. literally such a perfect last route in so many ways. you are so infinitely talented and your fan fiction has killed me. i am fatally excited for your next fic the way you write resonates with me that anything and everything ive ever read pales in comparison. i hope you enjoy the irreversible damage you’ve done to my psyche forever lmao wear it like a gold star + if you ever publish my old original crack shit theory post in your asks I’d laugh so hard. i was so crazy i asked one of my friends who reads your work their thoughts on my theory and to try point out out if there was anything I misremembered or missed LMAOO

-cork board anon

"my freak was matched with hoe insane" i want this embroidered on a pillow (even though i think it may have been a typo??? bc i think izuku is acting hoe insane). and trust your neurons are reaching mine; i get what you mean, and you're being very sweet about it!!! yeah since i haven't had to attach thoughts of izuku to a plot anymore, thinking about his levels of sexy determination just make my brain pitter out. i Need him.

and i'm soooooo pleased you think he's in character, and all, because i Worry, of course. he's hard to write!!! we don't get a lot of detail about his personality in canon, really, even though he's the main character!!!! i spruced up one of his most attractive canonical traits, which is that he Pays Attention........and apparently, i am REALLY into men who pay attention, bc i also made shinsou and aizawa very much Attention Payers when it comes to reader.......i think it may have helped to have defined their paying attention skills in different ways, and they're all sexy for it: 1) aizawa pays attention to reader so that he can keep her safe by controlling the overall situation they're in. so that she feels safe enough to come to him. 2) shinsou pays attention to reader so that she's so, so comfortable and so that he can take care of her in the ways she likes. so that he can give her what she's always wanted but never voiced. so that she's never nervous when he's around. 3) izuku pays attention to reader so he knows how to fuckin' drive her insane. so that he can infuriate her sexually enough that she cracks. god i love fictional men

KATSUKI KLADS;FJ;JSDFJKL; he was put in an opportunity, and he indulged lolololol. yeah it's so gutsy of him to open-mouth kiss reader while izuku is RIGHT THERE, freshly interrupted from talking about reader and soulmate stuff when she barged in. MEN. and don't worry; i don't feel pressured!!! i'm slowly working on the vignette ideas, and in the meantime, i'm almost done with the first chapter of my next project!!! but just because the art moves on does not mean we have to move on emotionally!!!! i think i have unfortunately written a version of bnha's end game that i like very much--particularly bc tenko/touya/toga get happy endings--so i'll always be down to discuss this fic!!!!

also lololol i'm about to publish your older asks; they deserve to be Seen and Perceived--they're pretty clever about the whole thing!!!! and thaaaaaaaaaaank you so much for being so kind about all of this!!!!! your asks really do make me smile so hard :) xx.

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[polyamorouspunk]

kfbdmbddmnd I know its not sleepover fridays where you take these kinda of asks so you can either hold onto this until then or not, no huge deal, I just wanted to get this off my chest and im realizing this may sound incomprehensible lmao. so!

I may have issues with my first ever relationship, of any incredibly intimate/pseudo-romantic kind, and I’m worried that I may have fucked up.

I’m in a pretty heavy duty qpr with this person (if I had to call it anything it would be qpr, they’re more married to the term than I am.) and have been for about 7/8 months now. it was Incredibly Intense sparks between us, instant insanely high attachment insanely fast. they described our initial few conversations weeks after the fact as borderline spiritual, neither of us really believe in soulmates but they felt like they must have known me in a past life. we’re both polyamorous, and they’ve been engaged to someone else for quite a bit before they met me (for reasons, they’re on rocky-ish terms rn but still together), and one time they looked me dead in the eye and said if they weren’t already promised to someone they’d want to marry me. I have been this persons seemingly sole emotional rock this entire time, my dms are a dumping ground for everything from soul crushing existential dread and breakdowns to the newest fixation to the latest crushes.

at first I was on board with how fast we’ve been going, trying to match their energy. they have years more experience than I do with polyamory which initially I’ve been deferring to just like experience wise while I’ve just read more ethical non monogamy/polyamory theory. im on the aroace spectrum, ive been really up front with my stance on amatonormativity and that kind of thing, whatever pace works for us works we just gotta keep tabs on our comfortability and energy. but like. hm. it’s clear that I’m the one with all of the emotional maturity and regulation.

when they said they’d want to marry me when they were already engaged felt like a red flag at the time, esp since I knew that they were going through a rocky period with their fiancé. they started So intense So fast that. I sorta feel like it’s fucked with my brain chemistry. to the point where now I feel like hopping out the gate with “I must have known you in a past life” in this very “stay with me forever” sort of way while only really knowing each other for a Month is also sort of a red flag in hindsight.

now heres the thing though. I have been matching this intensity, learning new things about myself and how my own attraction works, but like, my trust will be broken by them somehow and I’ll plummet through almost half the stages of grief and have a Hell of a time trying to feel the same kind of close to them that we started out as, I explain my grievance, they have a breakdown why they’re a bad person I assure them this isn’t the case, we just gotta improve behavior, and then they’re back to normal.

there’s small things like us discussing relationship terminology, telling each other that partner sounds good, but then in public they introduce me as their friend. or asking for privacy concerning my mental health stuff I tell them and then later find out they told like 4 other partners and qpps with out me knowing.

or the larger things like one time I was depressed so we planned a date like 2 weeks in advance, talking about it basically every day. but the night before they had an impromptu one night stand with an acquaintance, spammed my messages with gushing about this new sort of relationship, how great the sex was, including pictures I Did Not Ask For, and how they’ve never felt this way before. I was initially surprised at this deluge of stuff but ok, I was feeling happiness for them, I do get a lot of compersion, but also felt it was a lil weird.

when we actually meet up, they spend the Entire date talking about this other person. Everything. Not once do they ask about my day or talk about anything else. at one point they start physically flirting with me but then get distracted with talking about how the other person would touch them and then said that they’re still worked up from them.

I am viscerally uncomfortable, almost dissociating. I try to change the subject and they just blithely switch it back to them after a few minutes. later when I told them about how this made me feel, they had a breakdown about how they’re a bad person and don’t respect anyone. which while empathetic, is unhelpful. I can’t comfort them through an issue I’m having with them.

so I guess my question would be how the fuck do I deescalate a relationship like this. I like them, I like spending time with them, but they don’t show me any thoughtfulness at all and my boundaries are encroached upon with zero self awareness.

Okay yeah so I’m sensing some like. I’m not going to say “borderline behaviors” because like there are a variety of mental illnesses that have similar symptoms, but as someone with BPD I’m going to say “bpd symptoms” because they’re similar to ones that I would have.

Anyone that uses “I’m such a bad person” is not in a good headspace. I don’t remember the last time I’ve gone on the “I’m such a terrible person” rampage but whenever it was it was because I was throwing a pity party and that is exactly what it is. No one who is throwing out the most guilt trip line of all time like that is in a good headspace or mature. Now I mean like I’ve said “what if I’m a bad person what if I need to be better” and that’s different. I’ve said that recently and it led to “maybe I should go back to therapy and work on myself” which wow wouldn’t you know it is exactly what I’m doing. Big difference between someone telling you you hurt them and going “IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD PERSON” and going to your friends in private and being like “hey I don’t think I handled this as well as I would have liked in retrospect, could you maybe give your insight on what I could have done better and what I maybe handled appropriately given the situation, AITA or no?” Yk? Which is exactly what I did the night I went to 🔮’s bf’s party which was what then led her to saying she needed space from me so then I was like “hey here’s what happened did I do something wrong?” @ my friends in my server.

You can apologize without making it about yourself. You can say “I’m sorry” without taking on “I’m such a bad person”. I said sorry to 🔮 numerous times, asked if I could fix it, asked if I ruined it between us. But never did I say “sorry I’m just such a horrible person” because you know what I’m still trying to sell myself to this girl why would I say shit like “I’m such a bad person.” Like when someone tells you they’re a bad person they want reassurance they’re not because if you say “yeah you kinda are” then suddenly YOU’RE the shitty one but like yeah it’s really not a good move to trash yourself it’s a lot sexier to stand your ground and be like “I’m sorry this upset you and I’m willing to accommodate and change my behavior while staying true to me.”

It really seems like you were, at one point, just their newest obsession. And that they become obsessed with other people equally. It seems like you got sucked into their vortex, and it’ll be a lot more painful for you to get out than for them. It seems like you may have already tried to set boundaries (communicating that things upset you) and they were not well received (re: “I’m such a bad partner I’m so sorry” instead of “I’m sorry let me work on that next time”).

I’m not a spiritual person but I’m also not going to knock someone else’s spiritual beliefs so I don’t want to be like “man telling someone you must have known them in a past life sounds like it could be psychosis” but it sure is Coming On Too Strong™️. I mean, like I know that I come on too strong, but holy shit that is a whole ‘nother level. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear things like that, you are allowed to say that. Because I’m pretty sure that would make me uncomfortable personally.

Also the idea of being “promised to someone” in a nonmonogamous relationship is… sketchy… especially when they are telling you they want to replace that person’s role in their life with you… like that’s not healthy polyamory. Healthy polyamory is creating new roles for people in your life not replacing the roles people already fill with new roles while that person is quite literally still in that role.

If they’re telling other members of their polycule things you asked them to keep to themselves then they are once again not respecting your boundaries.

I understand that people can be really charming and draw people in (think of extreme cases like Manson and Bundy) and that it can be hard to escape that. It doesn’t sound healthy from the outside but I’m not one to be like “dump their ass” for advice. I’m just saying that you’re aware it’s kind of toxic and unhealthy, and obviously I don’t have both sides, but I can say as someone who does have BPD there is a world where you can have a partner with those kinds of issues and have a relationship that isn’t that toxic I swear. Like I was a lot worse than I am not and I got better, like there are plenty of more mild people out there who have the same issues but actually put in the effort to get better for those around them.

[hartxstarr]

HERES MY FAVORITE FICS EVER. OF ALL TIME.

i have many many fics that i love and have enjoyed reading. but these are the collection of fics that have stuck with me throughout the years, and the ones i go back to so i can experience it all over again. my beloveds <3

heed the tags and warnings for all of these!!!

Family. i know its weird to start off with an animaniacs fic. but it truly shaped me during my formative middle school years. i wont detail the warnings et al for every fic but i do want to say i reread this one recently and theres a lot more problematic worldviews than i remember (sexism, racism, ect ect). lmao. but regardless, sibling dynamics is my favorite in fiction because of this fic. (admittedly, i know i dont ever talk about siblings, but i think about them. and thats what counts.)

Alpha. unfinished. The rvb fic of all time. washington really goes through it in this one, guys. for real. i actually havent read it in a while so i forget the majority of the details, but it branches off of reconstruction and really puts wash through the wringer. for real.

Jamais Vu. abandoned. lolix. zombie au. i need to reread this one. i used to stay up late during school nights reading the latest chapters. good memories. you know, ive always had zombie dreams since i was a little kid, but this one probably didnt help much at all. The Palomo Scene has haunted me for years. thats all i will say.

Death is a Jealous Lover. felix/reader AND lolix. wow! changed my brain chemistry forever. it inspired a whole oc story for my own. granted, it was essentially copying the premise, but over the years ive wrangled it down into its own little thing <3 GRIM REAPER AU. we're not making it out of the crypt with this one, fellas. i owe my life to this fic. always have.

Heed the Siren's Call. one piece time. shanks/makino. do yourself a favor and read all of missmungoes fics. go find out what true love really is. but if you do, this ones the one to start on. theres so much lore to this fic series...and every time i go back to reread this fic, the authors added a little bit more. amazing. wonderful. just read Shanties, why dont you.

Migratory Animals. when i think of zosan fic, i think of this one. its the vibe.

Part Timer. zosan. post-canon. these idiots are everything to me. they learn so much more about each other and they also get to be in love. the scene where zoro calls luffy has lived in my brainspace since reading it. i cannot describe my emotions.

Native Son. sanji leaves the crew. plays out like a movie (think 4-6 era). please just read it.

The Entirety of the Third Degree Series. surprise. bnha fanfiction. endeavor/hawks. these guys are FUCKED UP. i love them. truly. they need help, but sadly they chose each other instead. how tragic. i want to study them. i want the best for them. they are already doomed.

BONUS: Halloween is Scarier As An Adult. this one isnt actually held close to my heart like the other ones, but when i think of gintama fanfiction, this is the one for me. plus, its gin/katsura so immediately its *chefs kiss* the pacing feels like an arc of the show. theres shenanigans. gintokis elusive past(tm), family bonding, and more!!! give this a read even if you dont ship silverwigs.

[littlest-bugz]

current hyperfixation? (feel free to infodump!!)

YIPPEEE!!! This made my day FR!! Thank you, mutual <3

ANYWAYS

This is kind of embarrassing, but I’ve been deeply invested by my own OCverse for going on 8 years now. Its my Special Interest, which sucks because,,, im the only one who can make content of these stinkies,,,,,

I really find it hard to hyperfixate on anything else because of the fact Ive been invested for so long (except for Web Design and coding, which I wont infodump about, since its literally all for these stories, deadass).

It is not fun at times because 1) all the characters live rent free in my head and criticize how I write them in my novels [that DID life] and 2) its SO hard to make new projects and get attached to them. Ive been trying for 2 years to make a horror project out of one concept but I seriously cant get fully invested and it SUCKS. Let me make my silly little horror web series damnit!!!!! (@ my brain)

I have 3 novels and one fantasy series im working on so,,,, Infodump time >:3c

TWs: Terminal Illness + brief mentions of (mental institute) hospitalization, murder, war, and some others that I’m not 110% sure the exact tags for them (basically kind of cannibalism, but between nonhuman species). Other than terminal illness, they’re super brief mentions, but still proceed with caution.

Right now, I’m working on one of the books I’ve been writing for nearly my whole time writing. Ive been only working on it since feb 1st (it’s, like, the THIRD draft tho).

Blurb about book

Melissa is a bassist in a rock band she formed with her high school friends. Just as her, and her friends’, career begins takes off, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. With a month left to live, and a shit ton of unfinished business, she invokes her best friend’s patron deity who is capable of miracles, Flip. Melissa and Flip make a pact to keep her alive until her business is over, but oh no! Melissa has caught the eyes of another god, and a pretty shitty one at that. How is she going to make her last months peaceful if she’s being hunted down by a god?

The working title is called “Ensuring Your Spot In Hell” because Flip is, essentially, a demon in the universe (rules an infernal ring of hell- it means I would have to explain the worldbuilding around hell and its A LOT), but titles are!!! So hard for me!!!

A list of random facts about the book™️ because I don’t want to write full paragraphs bc I can go on forever if u ask me to:

Flip’s name is a shortened version of his actual name, Fli’pyek. Furthermore, the domain Flip rules over is that of Wrath and Violence

Trinity (Melissa’s childhood bestie, and the friend that worship’s Flip) is a hereditary witch and pagan. Her family has been worshipping Flip and practicing witchcraft for several generations! They literally have their own holy book (generational BoS/Grimoire/whatever u want to call it).

Melissa had been sick with the disease™️ since she was 16. She just neglected the shit out of her own health (me too bestie, me too). It easily could have been prevented if she went to the doctor back when she was, at least, 18 years old, max 24.

At the time Melissa is diagnosed with her terminal illness, she’s 26. By the time she was supposed to die, she would’ve been freshly 27. Has anyone heard of the 27 club theory before? Or is it just an obscure reference I made LMAO

Melissa has extended biological family that worships Flip! It gets super awkward when Melissa visits them with Flip lol

The other primordial god that Melissa finds herself in a predicament with is named Ama, the god of Cruelty and Torture. Not a swell guy to get mixed up with, that’s for sure!

Melissa has an orange and white cat named Cheddar!

Flip always smells like whiskey and freshly cut tobacco. At all times. It’s bc his blood smells like it (and tastes like it too, but why are you tasting it? /j)

Any other facts might be getting into spoiler territory, BUT!! Thats the one Im working on rn, in February. In January I worked on another book, but that one honest to gods might be too triggering for this acc for an indepth thingy like the book I just did. It’s being rewritten to not be so triggering, but bc it’s a throw up of some of our trauma, it’s not an easy task to censor it.

REGARDLESS, Here’s a rundown of ALL of my main novels (minus the one I already talked about)

The Case of Twin Woods [mystery, drama, crime] (the one i worked on January)

Chastity hates her life. She hates her shitty job, she hates her shitty friends, and she hates her shitty family. After opening up too much to an online friend about her chronic suicidality, Chastity gets taken to Twin Woods Mental Institute, the state’s mental institution. There she befriends an eccentric group of patients, then finding out something terrible might be going on with the head warden, Leon Bellamy. She takes it upon herself to find out and solve the mystery, but she may have bitten off more than she can chew.

Untitled One (but leaning towards the name of ‘Jealousy’ or somethin idk) [drama, romance, crime]

Mia has a quiet life. She works at a library, she fosters cats, and by all means, has what could be considered a ‘boring life’. One day, she gets laid off from her job under the excuse of “cutting costs”, leaving her without a job and severance. While scrambling for a job, she finds one at a local cafe, the most frequented one in the city. There she befriends one of the regulars, a cold, quiet man named Zander, and after she unknowingly helps Zander’s brother, she becomes significantly closer to him. However, her boss, a bitter ex of Zander’s, hears about their ensuing closeness and decides she doesn’t like what’s going on. One failed dinner party and murder attempt later, Mia is left scrambling to hide that she killed Angelina in self defense. Will she be successful in hiding the murder? Or will the justice system make quick work of her?

Untitled Fantasy Series (has about 2 actual novels and 3 novellas… a possible third novel too) [drama, romance]

book one

Since his birth, King Sunshine has known his fate. He is to be sacrificed for the greater good of the realm he resides, killing his oppressive father, but losing his life in the process. It’s a prophecy that has been laid out since the beginning of Racktokian history, one King Sunshine was never able to escape due to his father’s unspoken rage at his own murder. After meeting a Vurtock for the first time, a species his father only used as cattle, Sunshine finds himself quickly entangled in a plot to overthrow his own father to liberate the Vurtockian race. He knows what he has to do, but it isn’t easy.

book two

The great war tore apart the country King Sunshine called home. His father left no stone unturned from his rage, and public opinions split the people. In the rubble of his home, he builds a new country founded on the importance of the civilians, only to be elected as a King in place of his father. Living in the palace he always called home, but had tried to escape, he finds that his father keeps sending assassins to make attempts on his life. One assassin, a vurtock with nothing to lose, hits a soft spot in Sunshines heart. After deescalating the attempt on his life, he offers the vurtock to stay in his castle until they’re able to find the proper resources to help him build a life in the new country. Far away from the oppressive dictatorship of his father. Yet, as his guest begins to stay for longer than intended, he sees that yet another step in the prophecy will begin.

Despite how the second book blurb is written, it’s more from the vurtock’s point of view than Sunshine’s. I just had a total brain fart.

The novellas for the fantasy book follow the POV of other important characters, such as the ruler of the Vurtockian rebellion, the POV of other rulers. For a while I wanted to write one from Raphaël’s POV, but I decided it wouldn’t be worth writing a whole book about a piece of shit finding joy in the pain he causes. Like, no thanks, ill pass.

Theres a possible 3rd book that would essentially be an extended epilogue, since the prophecy doesn’t stop at Sunshine’s death. I just haven’t thought as far as the 2 books and 3 novellas, in terms of outlining the books and stuff.

I honestly could give TONS more info on the fantasy books because that part of my universe has been around nearly the whole time Ive been writing. I have maps of the world, maps of countries, maps of even just cities, house and castle layouts, moodboards, art. Visual references galore. Not to mention the playlists for each character + each book. I also made a document called “The Remian Bible” because it has everything about the world in it, including the alphabets of the languages, grammar structures for said languages and literally 5 holy books for the religions even tho they wont evEN BE TALKED ABOUT IN ENOUGH DEPTH (why did i do that to myself /lh j/. It doesn’t help that I still want the write the holy books in their native languages… oo,,, and imagine writing the actual novels in the native languages,,,,). It’s honestly kind of,,, surreal how much time Ive put into this world 🧍 Like??? Damn,,,,

BUT YEAH!!! Those are all the books that take place in my ocverse + some other info!!! The things that are my hyperfixation,,,, My own books and world LMAO— The books don’t include half of the ocs in my ocverse tho, so thats where the website im coding comes in. It’ll have short stories based on the backstories of various characters on it, and Yes, even the background characters will be on it bc Im fucking bonkers and fleshed them out, even though some of them are in one scene for 2 minutes.

That being said, if anyone, or u mutual (if u read this wall of text), found any of this interesting, or wants to read even just the prologue of any of these, DM me!! I’m always looking for beta readers!! Or people to talk to about it too, that’d be fantastic. I really need beta readers, so seriously. DM me if u want to read my cringey stories!! I can give better in depth tws too!!!

EDIT: I need to mention that I go through spurts of hyperfixating on only one book or series. Thats why its both my hyper fixation AND my Special Interest

[trashcatsnark]

Just rambling because I really wanna be feral about my bg3 tav and dont have a place to really do so lmao but my little rotted brain wanted to play with the whole- tadpole fucks with previous conditions/characters shit. Ala making Astarion able to walk in sunlight and and seemingly making Gale's orb hungrier/less stable (judging off the first artefact helping him as usual but then the second one doesnt)

And I don't do fantasy often but since arcana Ive always wanted to play with a character with a enchantment/spell on them that makes people forget them shortly after meeting them. Unable to form lasting connections and living a life thats almost entirely in isolation (i love lonely transient bitches)

So, my tav, Petra (half wood elf, rogue/ranger) ran away from a shitass abusive life with her now dead partner who casted the enchantment on them both, so only they could remember one another. Being each other's entire world. Shit happens, her lover dies, but the enchantment is binded to their instrument (lover was a bard)

Which is all build up to say, she had and only wanted a cozy insignificant existence, because significance just means giving people the power to hurt her/being known means vulnerability and yet now thanks to the tadpole, she is being perceived and thats horrifying enough- i also really love the extent that Petra contradicts with many of the companions in terms of the idea of ambition and desire.

For so many of the companions (except Karlach really) insignificance is their like nightmare. Gale has both an innate hunger f for power because he derives his sense of self-worth from being a powerful, significant, and impressive wizard. Gale of Waterdeep, chosen of Mystra, deep down he does want a more simple life of relaxing in his tower and idly reading, and cooking for someone he loves but he can't ever seem to fully shake this feeling that when he sees power or opportunity he must grasp it because without talent, power, significance, magic, utility- he thinks he has no worth at all. Astarion craves power, once you start to enter act 2, he starts to talk about how he thinks the player has ambition and that maybe heyyy you can use that ambition for me? Because to him ambition and power, his own or using someone elses is how he'll find a way to permanently escape his abuse. He says he's not content to sculk in the shadows, what good is freedom if he doesn't have the power to make sure he'll never lose it. Wyll, the blade of frontiers, wanting desperately to help everyone- be a hero, make the sword coast proud in a way he never could make his father. He wants to matter, he wants to be important, he is forever burdened by the weight of his mistakes- the pact that binds him, never able to feel free of it and just wants the world to look at him and see something good.

Lae'zel fears insignificance, this is stated plain as day in the scene where she threatens the player, if you choose to probe her thoughts. She's doesn't care if she dies, if her skull splits, and tentacles writhe through her flesh- she's terrified it will happen before her queen ever knows her name, that she'll never be more than a failed soldier, that she'll never wield the silver sword or ride a red dragon. That she'll die before she feels she ever mattered.

Shadowheart wants to be a dark justiciar, she wants to be of value to her god, she wants to matter- similarly to Lae'zel, ironic given their hostility, but it is the same ultimate goal. She doesn't want to be no one, she doesn't just want to be another follower who's struck with pain, mind wiped tirelessly, and nothing to show for it- she wants her pain to have purpose, meaning, even if it's just serving the god causing it. Karlach is already a bit of an oddity in terms of, she never really seems to be scrounging for power and signficance and in fact- her power, her strength, her ability is what led to Zariel choosing her as her attack dog. So, while she's a bit more similar in not having a heavy desire for power, ambition, and a goal beyond- not wanting to be hurt, the desire for freedom and life on her terms. They still differ so greatly in terms of- Karlach lost out on getting to be a part of life for so long, she misses people, connection, and she doesn't want to avoid life because it hurt her, she wants to take back the parts stolen from her- she wants to live and be apart of the world finally again on her terms. Even if it kills her.

And my brain just kind of buzzing and feral for this idea of how she somehow finds herself thrusted into not only being perceived, being surrounded by people who are learning who she is, knowing parts of her she hasn't shared, and also being asked to... lead. When it's never truly been something she craves and even overwhelms her, but it finds her regardless and how she helps ground for many of them their grappling for power/ambition while for her they help her find that... she deserves to be a part of the world around her, that she can touch the world around her and make a difference. And she's no less guilty of wanting something that's bad for her, that she's been alive but not truly living and returning to that loneliness once the tadpole is plucked out won't be peace, won't be contentment, isn't freedom, because it was never that to begin with- she was just languishing in isolation and grief as a living ghost.