#ive had a few crushes. here and there. nothing that goes anywhere
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im gonna vent on the tags of this post okay? okay
#it's been almost two years since my ex broke up with me#and yet it still fucking hurts so much#ive had a few crushes. here and there. nothing that goes anywhere#and sure. im young and i have my entire life ahead of me. whatever#i miss him so much. every day.#it has gotten earier. the first few weeks were awful. i couldn't stop crying. i couldn't breathe. i couldn't eat#not it's more like chronic pain. always there. easier some days. not so much others.#the worst part is... he probably doesn't even think about me#it's been radio silence from him ever since. i mean. he blocked me on socmed and everything#as if it was my bloody fault he was stalking me on tumblr. still. i probably shouldn't have said anything#this doesn't make any sense. im just so tired of missing him. i don't even know if i still love him. i just miss him
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✉︎ - you're my match-a ♡
𓍯𓂃 content : fem!reader x bestfriend!ni-ki , bestfriends to lovers (boring trope - i know but its one of my faves so </33) , fluff , realization of feelings , this is a cutee fic :3 , reader LOVES matcha , ni-ki is so sweet
𓍯𓂃 word count : 1.1k
𓍯𓂃 note : i actually really enjoyed writing this !! ni-ki rly strikes me as someone that would obviously hint at his liking for you and play it off but never confess boldly. (also pls lmk who u want to see next for the "type of bf" series too :p)
Honestly, you're a matcha addict. You have matcha every day, seven days a week. And of course your bestfriend, ni-ki, knows how much you love your matcha. Like, he knows your exact order - a large matcha latte with medium sugar, less ice, and organic milk. He's the person that gets it for you most of the time, anyways. Since you're busy with your studies, and he's just out and about and in the dance studio most of the time. But he doesn't mind it at all, he likes doing things for you. Why? Because he's your bestie, duh. Actually wait, no, it's because he likes you.
Of course, you're blissfully unaware of his crush on you. That's just how you are, you think he's just doing these nice gestures for you because he's your bestie. Ni-ki has a love and (mostly) hate relationship with the word "bestfriend" because on one hand, he's happy that you guys are close, but he wants to be more to you. He wants the title of your boyfriend, not your bestie.
Anyways, it's 9pm on a Saturday night and you're at home studying with music blasting in your headphones. You felt like something was off for the past 4 hours, but you couldn't really tell what it was. And - oh, you hadn't got matcha yet. But, it was already so late and the nearest cafe was too far to walk to, especially at night.
And it's as if ni-ki knew, because he texts you "hey y/n, had ur matcha today?" Smiling a little, you text back "hiii nini, no not yet :(( ive been busy studying and lost track of time..."
You wait a few minutes for a response from him, and nothing. Hm, that's not like him, but you just shrug it off. You still have to study for your upcoming exam anyways. Once again, you allow yourself to get lost in your studying and music.
It's been about an hour, around 10pm and - *knock knock* huh? Who would knock on your door at 10pm at night? Slowly walking to the door, you hold your breath.
"Y/n you there??" you hear from the other side of the door.
Oh, you could recognize that deep voice anywhere, it's just ni-ki. Wait - what was he doing here?
Opening the door, you're ready to question him. But instead, you're caught off guard with ni-ki in a grey hoodie, white tank, washed out jeans and two matcha lattes in hand. Oh, that's why he's here. And you felt your heart melt a little at the realization.
"Oh my god nini, you couldn't have texted me? I thought you were a murderer or a weirdo" you tell him, giggling a little. He smiles down at you and there's a weird feeling in your stomach. Confused, you just shrug it off and tell him to come inside.
Once you were both inside, he hands you the matcha latte. "Couldn't have you be sad, so I had to run to the cafe since it was closing soon. That's why I forgot to text you, sorryy" he explains in a sweet tone of voice, while sipping on the matcha latte.
That's when it hit you, he doesn't do this for you all the time just because he's your bestfriend. Ni-ki likes you - and you think you might like him, too. That would be the only explanation for the weird feeling in your stomach - butterflies.
Realizing you forgot to say thank you, you tell him "Thanks for this nini, you're too nice to me you know?" And in response, he just smiles sweetly at you and there goes the butterflies again. Fuck.
"Of course y/n, you're my girlll" he says playfully. However, it does something to you that it usually doesn't do. He calls you his girl sometimes, and you always thought it was just friendly and nothing like that. But now, it means something else to you.
Choking on your matcha a little, you put it down and just stare at it. So many thoughts are running through your head, and it doesn't help that you've been studying the whole day and whole night. You aren't functioning like you usually would.
Concerned, ni-ki walks over to you and pats your back. "Hey, you okay? Is the matcha not good? I can-" he tells you but you cut him off.
"Nini why do you always do this for me? You always get me matcha, you remember my order, you always make sure i'm happy. Like, do you like me or something? Because I honestly think I have feelings for you." you say while fidgeting with your rings, blurting out your thoughts.
You look back up at him, and he looks shocked. Eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.
"Wait, wait - y/n, you like me?" he asks, voice laced with shock.
"Yeah.." you mumble in response, only now realizing what you just said. God, your heart is beating out of your chest. You quickly look down just to make sure it actually isn't.
"Oh my fucking god y/n, you don't know how love I've been waiting to hear those three words come out of your mouth. You know, I would never go out of my way to get matcha for someone at 10pm, let alone whenever they need it, I only do it for you. I do it for you because I like you so much, I'm surprised you only noticed now" he tells you while staring into your eyes, the same eyes he can't help but think about 24/7.
Taken aback, you just sit there staring at him. Wow, has he always been this beautiful? You've been taking this beautiful face for granted, fuck. Swiftly, he sits down next to you and picks you up and puts you onto his lap.
"May I have the honor of being your boyfriend, miss y/n?" he asks you playfully and you smile at him.
"Hm...what if I said no?" you ask him, reciprocating the playful energy.
"Y/nnnn" he whines. You find yourself melting when he pulls you closer and rests his head in the crook of your neck.
"I'm just playing nini, of course you can be my boyfriend" you tell him while brushing your fingers through his beautiful blue-ish black hair.
Happy, ni-ki suddenly jumps up and picks you up with him, twirling you around like a princess. After setting you back down, he wraps his large arms around you and brings you into his embrace, inhaling your perfume.
"Hey y/n? You know what?" he asks you, and you can hear by his tone of voice that he's about to pull out a corny joke.
"What?" you respond, laughing a little bit.
"I think you're my match-a...get it?" he says, already laughing to himself.
God, him and his corny ass jokes. Guess he's the man that you're stuck with now! (and you're quite happy that it's nishimura riki <33)
pls reblog if u enjoyed :3 my other works are here if you want to check them out !!
#enhypen#enhypen ni ki#ni ki#nishimura riki#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#fluff#ni ki x reader#ni ki fluff#mochiwonz#ni ki enhypen#ni ki imagines#enhypen x you#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#ni ki x you
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ive been feeling fluffy lately and can u make scenarios where s/o accidentally bump or crash into akaashi, iwaizumi, kuroo, oikawa, and eita and s/o highkey has a crush on them and shocked and doesn’t know how to react but then suddenly gets a kiss on the lips/cheek/nose with a confession? idk if this makes sense loll! thx!
Awh, I’ll do a continuation of this one for the requested boys, thank you for the request, love I know you’ve been waiting a bit<3
Accidental Confessions w/ Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Semi
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Akaashi
The library bustled with light chatter as your earbuds played a light tune in your ears as you scanned the bookshelves, deep in thought as you decided on what to grab. The aisle was more isolated away from the others, and you didn’t mind- most people were here to study anyway, uninterested in the aisle that held the older novels.
Your eyes widen a little when you begin to pull a certain book out, the whole shelf seeming to rock with your movement as you still immediately, wanting not to cause a commotion if the shelf were to fall along with the many books obviously over-stacked on the shelves. You bite back a groan, glancing around before deciding to quickly pull the book out anyway, thinking if you were fast enough, the shelf wouldn’t be able to lose its’ weak sturdiness.
The shelf immediately begins to lurch forward, and you panic, shutting your eyes tightly on instinct, knowing your current upper body strength wouldn’t be able to support such a hardware. All you could do was pray it wouldn’t lurch far enough to fall-
You wince for potential impact, instead hearing quick footsteps and the sound of two hands jutting against the shelf. You hear books fall to your feet, and put your hands over your head in case any fell on you.
Either you were just lucky, or-
“Must be a really good book then, huh?”
You open your eyes just in time to see a hard-covered book hit Akaashi Keiji’s head, one of his blue-green eyes shutting at the impact in slight pain. The heat flames to your cheeks before you can control it, glancing around to realize if your now distanced friend hadn’t been there, you could have been squashed flat. His hands were resting on either side of you, arms outstretched as he had ducked his head to cover yours from any falling books.
The tune still playing in your ears seemed muffled as you tried to grasp the situation, a stutter fumbling into your words.
“I’m so s-sorry, does it hurt?” You melt into panic, looking away from anywhere except Akaashi’s usual blunt stare.
“Getting hit by books is never fun. Now I know how Bokuto feels.”
You shrink away, attempting to escape from Akaashi’s human cage.
“Thank you, Keiji.” You manage out in doing so, still not meeting the eyes of someone you once called a friend before certain feelings led to you avoiding him. “We should get you checked-”
“Why are you avoiding me, Y/N?”
Fuck.
“I’m not. And we should really go to the nurse-”
“Y/N.” Your mouth goes dry when Akaashi tugs one of your earbuds out, leaning into you even more as you’re suddenly thankful for the isolated aisle. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” You exclaim, fumbling your words. “I-I did something wrong! And it would just be easier to ignore everything I feel for you, but I can’t when I’m near you all the time-”
You clamp a hand over your mouth, eyes widening as you try to run again, but Akaashi easily keeps you in place, the blunt blue stare seeming to have another emotion swimming amongst his eyes matching the ocean.
“Y/N.”
“W-What?”
“I just saved you from a bookshelf and potential death. Do me a favor.”
“What?” You repeat in a squeak, shying away behind your book as Akaashi merely shows a ghost of a smile, pushing the book away as you back into the bookshelf, eyes widening at the proximity.
The book cluttered to your feet amongst the others, the tune in your one ear still playing as Akaashi slipped the loose earbud in, filling your ears with music and your chest with symphony as his lips pressed tightly against your forehead.
“Just let me say that I like you too, will you?”
Iwaizumi
“Sit here! I’ll be right back!”
Iwaizumi didn’t really know how he ended up here.
The ace watches as you rush out of your kitchen with flushed features, examining the few cuts on his hand and legs from the fall of his bike. Your morning jog just so happened to be one you lost yourself in, your foot entangling with one of Iwa’s wheels that led to his painful outcome and you insisting you come back to yours to assess the damage.
Iwa crosses his arms, leaning back against the counter before wincing a little. This was nothing. The whole reason he had even accepted was-
“I found the kit-!”
Iwa watches amusedly as you trip over yourself in your return, stumbling a little before giving him a cute apologetic bow and settling next to him, fiddling with the opening of the kit.
“I’m really fine, Y/N.”
Iwa arches a brow when your movements still, and your blossomed cheeks had the ace feel pride swell in his chest at his effect on you.
“W-Wait, you know me?”
“We’re in the same class.” Iwa attempts to play it off, clearing his throat. Truth be told, the ace had heard of your cutesy crush on him a few weeks ago, only making Iwaizumi notice you more and more with each passing day. Of course, he was really good about being discreet about it-
still, that didn’t cover the smirk on his face when he caught you glancing his way once or twice.
“Right...”
“That is why you invited me here, right?” Iwa sweatdrops. “You don’t just let random men you don’t know-”
“No! Of course not!” You rush out embarrasedly as Iwa hides his teasing smirk, covering his mouth with his hand as you sterilize a cotton swab. “I do know you...”
Iwaizumi closes his eyes at the stinging on his cheek as you gently glide the swab over it, disinfecting it thoroughly as your heart pounds at the situation. How had your crush ended up seated in your empty kitchen on a Sunday morning?
“Is your bike alright?” Your shaky voice makes conversation as Iwa takes another teasing jab, scoff in his words.
“I’m doing just fine, thanks.”
“T-That’s not what I mean!” You whine, even more embarrassed than before as Iwa’s chest rises with a chuckle. This was fun.
“Where else?!” You question, wanting this to be over with once you placed a bandaid over the cuts on his cheek and hands.
“My back.”
You spin around hastily when Iwa deadass takes his shirt off, flexing a little as you hide your face in your hands, not believing this was happening. You take a shaky breath that had a coy grin tickling Iwa’s lips as he feels your hands gently trace up his back to his wound.
“Enjoying yourself?” Iwa questions as your silence makes him turn around a little, smirk fading when he sees you had buried your face in your hands once again.
“Please stop teasing me.” Your hushed voice mumbles into your palms as Iwa immediately feels the guilt wash over him, prompting the dark haired boy to turn around completely.
“Hey- I’m sorry.” Iwa gently tugs one of your hands away from your voice to reveal your teary eyes and blushing face, eyes widening at the sight as a warmth spread over his chest.
“You’re fun to mess with- I didn’t mean to go that far.”
Iwa feels something in him snap when you pout, nodding and refusing to meet his eyes before he pulls the wrist in his hand towards him, causing you to lean a little into him as your eyes widen.
“Let me make it up to you.”
“Hm?”
Your face burns at the feel of Iwa brushing his lips against your cheek, causing you to wrench out of his grip and stumble back in absolute shock. You control your breathing as Iwa pulls his shirt back on over his head, looking at you casually before swinging his bike keys on one finger.
“So do you want to go on a date, or what?”
Kuroo
“Please grab him!”
Kuroo’s eyes widen as the cutest cat he had ever seen leaps up into his arms with ease, a grin spreading out across the captain’s features as he strokes its’ soft fur as it purrs, snuggling into his arms.
Apparently, the owner of this cat just happened to be the cutest person, in his book. For awhile now, actually.
You groan, jogging lightly up to the boy you knew as the captain of the volleyball team while bowing your head apologetically as Kuroo’s grin only widens at the sight of you. You plant your feet on the sidewalk, smiling a little at the way your cat seemed to be content with the feel of Kuroo’s arms.
“I’m so sorry!” You click your tongue, carefully taking your pet from the captain’s arms and setting it on the ground as your cat rubs up against one of your legs, grinning a tad apologetically. “Kuroo-senpai!”
Kuroo didn’t know what to say, chuckling a little awkwardly as a heat tickled his ears. You weren’t strangers for the most part, you were just the girl who passed by him after the third bell with the same friend everyday, always offering him a bright smile and nod as you strolled past him.
And he continued to look for that smile at the same time of each day, a little more bounce to his step each time your lips stretched for him.
“It’s nothing, little fella got loose, did he?” Kuroo crosses his arms, fighting to keep the nervous crack out of his voice as you sigh, running the hand that wasn’t holding the loose leash through your hair.
“He hates walks because of this thing, so I’m not that surprised.”
“Walking a cat is a rare sight to see.”
“You’re a rare sight to see.” You counter, tone teasing as Kuroo’s eyes widen a fraction as the heat spreads to his cheeks. “Shouldn’t you be like, spiking a volleyball right now?”
Before Kuroo could question whether or not you paid attention in a flirtatious manner, a tug at his legs stopped him as the captain reacts quickly-
Your pet, as a form of hell to pay, had casually walked a circle around the two of you with both of you failing to notice, walking off as the leash slowly tightened around your pairs of ankles, prompting you to trip as your ankles become tied together.
A squeak slips your lips as Kuroo turns, relasing a loud groan as his back hits the concrete, your front falling onto his chest as Kuroo instinctively wrapped his arms around you for utmost protection.
“You damn cat!” You groan, trying to get up to no avail as said cat licks its’ paw from a distance, causing you to roll your eyes before realizing the situation you were in.
You lift yourself up a little with both arms, a blush rushing to your face at how close your face and the captain’s was as Kuroo’s slackened jaw tightens to form a smirk.
“Falling for me, are you?”
“Talk about cheesy.” You laugh awkwardly, beginning to scramble off. “Again, I’m so sorry-”
Kuroo’s arms tighten around your waist, tugging you back down to hold you tightly from this position as the captain’s feral eyes seem to gaze up at the sky, you stuttering as you look up from his chest with blossomed cheeks.
“S-Senpai?”
“Just a little longer.” His arms tighten. “Please?”
The beat of silence was filled with shock as your eyes widen at the sound of Kuroo’s chest beating rapidly, the captain chuckling when you seemed to be listening a bit too intently.
“Now would probably be a good time for me to tell you that you’re the cutest girl I’ve wanted to take out for awhile, huh?”
Oikawa
“Gotcha!”
You blanch as Oikawa Tooru’s gym bag falls to the ground with a thud, catching you in the flashiest way possible before you could fully hit the ground, your papers flittering around you like snow as you bite back a groan. One of your hands rested on the captain’s chest, your waist in the hands of the one and only-
Really, right in front of his fangirls? You think, reminded of the salad meme as you scramble out of the brunette’s hold, rushing past him with a rushed thank you in hopes to avoid the herd.
“W-Wait, Y/N-chan!”
You nod to his friend Matsukawa in thanks as you accept your now collected papers, ignoring his calls as you turned the corner hastily, embarrassment flooding your cheeks along with a strange beat in your chest.
“Mattsun, I failed again...” Oikawa’s hand slackens as a pout overtakes the brunette’s lips as Matsukawa shrugs, amused by the whole situation as he nods over to the poorly-hidden fanclub.
“Blame them.”
Oikawa groans, turning to glare at his fellow senior. “I said help me win her over, not trip her!”
“I’m no miracle worker.” Matsukawa simply shrugs, pocketing his hands in his school pants as he grins in the direction you had run off in. “Still, I get it. You want the girl who’s not a complete ditz for you.”
“That’s not why!” Oikawa denies, brushing past the group of girls vying for his attention. “Y/N’s special. She doesn’t...”
“Treat you like the asshole you are?”
“Yeah! That!” Oikawa snaps before realization dawns on the brunette’s features, glaring at a cackling Matsukawa. “Wait, no-”
“I can’t believe we’re friends.”
Oikawa’s sassy retort falls on deaf ears as Matsukawa turns into his class, offering a single wave to his captain as Oikawa groans, heading in his own direction as he wonders if he’ll ever be able to tell you, deciding to skip class to sulk in his sadness.
Rounding a corner, he’s surprised to see none-other than your figure sitting quietly in a secluded staircase that was hardly used, seeming to be skipping as well as you tapped a pen to your lips, working on some forgotten homework as a pile of the previous scattered papers sat at your side. Oikawa’s lips pull into a natural smile at your content features, his heart rate picking up, thinking he was being given another chance.
The brunette considers his next course of action, grinning before shaking your shoulders and scaring you out of nowhere.
“Y/N-chan~!”
You jump, a small scream erupting from your mouth before you hastily cover your mouth with widened eyes meeting chocolate ones as Oikawa flinches, not expecting you to react that way.
“Who’s there?” An authoritive voice booms as you both seem to panic at the same time, and the next thing the captain knows, your papers were shoved messily into your bag before your hand tugged at his sleeve as you ran, pulling him along in the process.
You throw the door to an unused classroom open before dragging Oikawa in and sliding the door shut quietly, not bothering with the light as Oikawa watches with widened eyes, thoroughly impressed.
“You-!”
Oikawa swallows, nodding obediently when you put a finger to his lips, listening for the chaser’s footsteps to fade away before you sigh, flicking the light on before glaring at the brunette.
“Are you insane?”
“In my defense- who could’ve guessed that corridor echoed?” Oikawa responds with an easy smile as you relax a little at the sight before going to retort-
The footsteps come again, prompting Oikawa to panic and tugging you so your back hits the wall next to the door, shushing you as you did to him as the easy smile comes back as his pointer finger rests against your lips as he seizes the opportunity.
“If we get caught, I just want you to know that I love you.”
Oikawa’s breath hitches when you roll your eyes, prompting the brunette to tilt your head up carefully, brown eyes drifting over yours before cupping your face and kissing the tip of your nose just as the footsteps race past the door, your stunned features causing the captain to smirk at the pink that lightens your cheeks.
“I wasn’t joking.”
Semi
The car seemed to have come out of nowhere, and your feet stilled on the crosswalk stupidly as the sign for pedestrians continued to flash as the driver tried to skid to a stop-
but it was clear that it wouldn’t be enough.
The breath gets knocked out of you as soon as you clench your eyes shut tight, trembling at what was to come until you realize that the car wasn’t what caused your loss of breath.
Semi Eita pants, chest heaving as both of the setter’s arms supported his weight off of you, nonetheless protecting you from the horrid outcome that was darting straight at you as his brown eyes lit up, brimmed with fury and worry. You lay on your back, frozen in shock at the fast-paced events as the street of cars zoomed past the two of you on the sidewalk.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Your classmate questions, backing off immediately when he sees your eyes well up with tears, voice shaky as you stare up at him, unblinking as the fear trickles over.
“T-The sign...”
Semi sighs, turning to flick off the driver who was asking if you were okay before telling him to get the hell out of there, helping you to your feet in doing so. The walk to school should have been like any other day, Semi walking behind you to the same destination about eight feet away with his eyes trained on the back of your head-
ever since you had held back the eight feet to wait for him on a rainy day, ushering him under the umbrella so you could both get to school at least semi-dry, Semi Eita had made it a point to work up the nerve to walk to school with you as an every day occurence-
Even if was eight feet away, content with making sure you made it there safe.
“Can you walk okay?” Your classmate’s voice was unusually softer, yet still had his custom hard edge to it as all thoughts of making it to school on time faded from his head.
You blink, seeming to be in a daze as you stared at the ongoing traffic that seemed to be going about as it normally would as you begin to imagine what you would have looked like under it. Semi scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, not used to being so close to you as you begin to tremble before sighing.
“Don’t worry about being late. Sensei wouldn’t-”
“I could’ve died...”
Semi’s eyes widen when you wrap your arms around yourself, still shaking.
“...right?”
“I mean, yeah?” Semi regretted the words as soon as they slipped, watching as a new round of tears came on as the trembling turned almost violent as a hand covered your mouth.
“Oh my god-!” You hiccup, and the setter panics, moving before he can think.
Semi’s hands cautiously take your face gently, forcing you to look at his eyes. “You’re alive. You’re fine.”
“I-I’m not-!” You seem to be on the edge of falling to panic, and Semi’s eyes widen even more as he realizes he needs to bring you back and grounded, making a split decision before he can back out.
“Close your eyes.” Semi instructs, an authority edge to his callous voice that had you listening as the tears continued-
The trembling seeming to lift completely as soon as Semi Eita’s lips press against yours tightly, sending your mind awhirl in a way that had him holding you against him tighter until your breathing evens out, the buildup of anxiety fading at the feeling of the amount of emotion behind the setter’s actions.
You’re still sniffling when the setter pulls back slightly, uncaring of the public eyes of traffic.
“S-Semi?” You manage out, wiping your eyes as Semi’s breaths take a turn to become shaky, the setter looking down with his forehead resting against yours.
“I’ll take you to school from now on.” The words came out confidently as Semi’s thumb catches a few stray tears, locking eyes with you as the anxious feeling in your chest is replaced with a beating one- one you could hear in your ears.
“Would that be okay?” He presses, not prepared for the small smile that takes over your features before you reach up and press your lips against his cheek sweetly, taking the setter off-guard as Semi finds himself interlacing your fingers with his.
“Okay.”
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General works: @takemetovalhalla @kasandrafaye @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu akaashi#haikyuu akaashi keiji#akaashi keiji#akaashi x reader#haikyuu iwaizumi#Iwaizumi Hajime#iwaizumi x reader#hq iwaizumi#haikyuu kuroo#haikyuu kuroo x reader#Kuroo Tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro x reader#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa toru#oikawa x reader#haikyuu semi eita#haikyuu semi#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios
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The Smell of Truth - I
Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.
Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader
Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.
Words: 3090
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Light descriptions of violence, nothing much. For now. Jungkook is just a cute pie here ok dont touch me.
Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII
gif is not mine
The gray walls of the silent shelter were cold as it were since day one, the bed was small and the blanket could be softer, from the window a yellow light of a light pole bringing the sensation of isolation. Not so different of the last home of Jungkook.
There were two main differences, though. First and more important, now he didn't need to fight to not die in the rings. And - he was thinking if it is good or not - for the first time in so long he could have a prospect of hope, after all, some people seemed interested in adopting him.
But all of them feared him too.
Some days he spend all his time thinking about how to improve his own image so that someone may want to take him home - trying the hardest to look good in his padronized white clothes, fixing is hair, and maintaining a good posture always. Other days he is just a damn pessimist, knowing that anyone will want a pitbull hybrid. But okay, so if they can't acept him with his disturbed past, he won't acept them neither. He want to be loved after all, high standars... Thats what he tells himself often.
Tonight he don't really care.
Like in his previous home he was going to bed feeling like trash, bones hurting like hell and taste of blood in his mouth. In the reflection on the window he could see the cut and swell in his lips and the hematoma below his left eye. Earlier he got beat up by the shelter's guards. They were four against one, and they had batons to hit and electrocute him. All of this just because he wanted to be alone in his corner and growled for another dog who was annoying him by pulling his tail, maybe they thought he was going to do something violent, but he wasn't. Despite his past, Jungkook hate fighting. And then he just tried to defend himself.
Hours passed and he couldn't sleep, something in his gut telling him he should be alert. The night watchman should've passed by his door ten minutes ago. But he heard nothing. He waited to hear the now familiar sound of the watchman's steps... But instead when the sound came it was of a lot more of feet hitting the ground, coming in his direction, and fast.
Suddenly the door of his room opened with a bang, a tall figure in all black and with a gun in it's belt looking at him from the door frame.
Jungkook hate guns. More than he hate fights. So before he knows it, he is against the wall, protecting himself.
The man said something taking a slow step closer, but Jungkook couldn't hear it clearly - he was too afraid to. Only two types of pople use guns: Cops and the bad guys, sometimes the person is both, like his past owner. He don't like it. Other hybrids were leaving with more people in black in the corridor, and he couldn't understand why. The man reached out for him, and he growled, his ears flat against his head, tail between his legs. So the man steped back, calling for someone.
Poor thing. A million things were crossing Jungkook's mind, all of them horrible... They found me... my old owners found me... They will kill me... They will make me kill... I need to scape...
He was ready to fight his way free, to jump against the tall man and run the faster he could. He was ready to fly through the window even if it was a fall of three floors. Anything but going back to that hell...
His thoughts got cut by a smaller person appering from behind the man. You were all in black too, with tactical boots and all. But no gun.
"Go help with the others..." Your voice came demanding but soft. When the man disappeared, you tried to approach Jungkook. He growled again. "It's ok..." You said pulling down your mask, revelling your face, and a soft smille. "My name is Y/N. I'mma friend, we are here to help.". You took a step closer, and Jungkook let you. You saw it as a hint to continue, crouching down to stay on the same level as him - he hadn't even realized he was huddled in the corner - and reaching out so he can smell you. "We know this place is no good... So we came to rescue.".
He sniffed you once. In the next second Jungkook was all over you. Practically jumping around you, wagging his tail and smelling you. You smell like truth to him, also something sweet, so he'd follow you anywhere.
"Hey, easy boy." You laugh. Automatically Jungkook got embarrassed for being so excited, a little bit more and he would've crushed you in a hug. "What's your name?"
"Jungkook."
"Well, Jungkook... Nice to meet ya." You reach out to greet him, and he took your hand in his. But before he could say anything back, the man appeared in the door frame again, now caring a little cat hybrid girl.
"Y/N, all the bombs are in place. We need to go."
Bombs? Jungkook ears lifted in alert. Like bombs that explode? He looked to you waiting some reaction.
"Oh crap. Is everyone out?" You casually answered.
"We are the last ones I think..." He said as if it was about the weather, carefully accommodating the sleepy girl in his arms.
Maybe bombs are not that big of a deal. Jungkook thought to himself, accepting the odd perspective of both of you.
"Ok, Jungkook, this place is going down. If it there is anything you want to take with you..."
Before you finish the sentence he was putting a tiny wallet in his pocket, and wearing a old cap from the nightstand.
"Ready." Jungkook said with a nod.
You smiled, pulling your mask back up in place. "Let's go then.". You took his hand and ran through the door, Jungkook close behind.
Out side almost all the other hybrids were already safe in the couple of vans of your group, approximately twenty people in black escorting them. You lead Jungkook to one of them following the orientation of another woman with mask and high ponytail. "You go with Youngjae, Y/N.".
"Ok, thanks."
A lot of the hybrids were totally ok with the action, others, mostly the youngers, were sleeping or half asleep. Despite that, a rabbit girl were crying to not enter the van you were supposed to go in.
"You are not understanding... I was going to be adopted on Monday, I need to be here when they came to get me... " she sobbed.
"We know, it's ok... " Youngjae rubbed her arms to comfort her. "We read your file, and I promise you will be with your new owners soon. Okay?"
The girl entered in the van, still a little reluctant, sitting in the passenger's seat - where you were supposed to sit. You didn't think much about it though. You made Jungkook enter and sit in one of the only two available sits, and even if it were more options for you, he didn't let go of your hand, practically pulling you down. He wouldn't make eye contact with you, preferring to keep his gaze down, and wouldn't initiate a conversation, but he would not let go of you neither...
Actually he was holding your hand for dear life.
This is good. You through to yourself.
Hybrids need to feel safe, and if he feels this way right now... It's good. You read all the files of all hybrids days before this of invasion, to know how bad the situation was. Not all of the poor creatures had a sad past before the shelter - all of them were suffering abuse in the shelter - but you remember specifically of Jungkook file, and his violent precedence in rings. When you saw the pictures of how he arrived at the shelter, bruised and curled up in the corner you felt sick and sad. Employee reports said he didn’t allow proximity and showed passive aggression, save for one of the vets, so you - experienced in hybrid behavior - volunteered to be responsible for him. Definitely you didn't expect him to be so easily trusty of you. And that's really good.
"You ok?" You murmure to him just in case. He just nodded, still staring his feet.
A whimper caught the attention of both of you. The dog hybrid that was beside Jungkook, that must've be sixteen, was shrinking up against the window and holding a bunch of stuffed animals as a shield, apparently afraid him. Jungkook scoffed it with a low growl, turning his eyes back to his shabby shoes, choosing to ignore the boy. This kid was the one invading his space earlier that morning. You got alert to intervene in case of a fight, tensing up.
But Jungkook hate fights. Even more if it happens in tight places like a van. He wouldn't do anything even if he wanted to, and it wasn't the case. There is no one who can force him to fight again.
"Everyone is here? Ok. LET'S GO!" That other woman closed the van's door that started moving. In the shelter's external wall, Jungkook saw the enormous words 'SET US FREE' written in red. Just after the last van passed through the gate the building they all were just a few meters before exploded.
"Wooow!" You cheered along Youngjae and some hybrids.
Jungkook turned on his sit to see the flames through the back window, flames red and high likng the black sky of the night, illuminating all around. You observed the look of amazement in his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. Well, the shelter is what saved Jungkook from his old life. In the shelter he could eat three full meal a day, have his own things and shower every day - his favorite part. But he was always surrounded by crowds what make him anxious most of time, and always getting scolded by the shelter employees that clearly didn't really cared for him, getting beaten up more than once. So he couldn't name the feeling in his chest. He could be sad... Or it could be satisfaction... A mix of both maybe. He just imagined the face of the guys that beat him up seeing the ruins and that written wall next morning and chuckled.
"Jungkook sit straight and put the seat belt, please." You squished his hand lightly.
Another feeling that he couldn't name... "Oh. Ok."
A silence settled in the vehicle, cutting trough the night city at high speed. Most of the hybrids were falling asleep, feeling the euphoria of getting free of the shelter going away, long night after all - and it didn't even ended yet - you couldn't blame them to be tired. You knew that in the moment the job ended and the adrenaline lowered, you would be dead tired yourself, ready to sleep till next year. Unfortunately you must keep your image intact and free suspicions, what means going to work normally next day. But in the moment you needed to be alert and ready to protect. Or at least awake.
Just like Jungkook. This boy was wide awake, looking through the window, paying attention in how the Youngjae drives super fast, and gazing you by the corner of his eyes. If he had more space he would be jumping around, his dog excitement exploding out of control. Or he would get shy and only imagine it while looking trough nothing. Something in his mind was, where were you all going? That girl apparently was going to be adopted soon, do that mean he would be adopted too? What kind of owner he would get? But can he trust it would happen? Or trust in these people in black? He didn't know you or your group. What if you were the bad guys, kidnapping hybrids to do bad things...? Jungkook stared suspiciously to you, who was talking quietly with the driver. You didn't seen bad, or mean, or evil. Quite the opposite, you look cute and sweet and beautiful, almost too good to be real. He could say you look totally harmless too if it were not for the shock weapon in your waist and tactical boots ... or the whole situation in general. You're just like every ordinary people that usually look at him fear and mistrust.
"Is everything ok?" You asked again. He just made 'no' with his head. You narrowed your eyes, focusing on Jungkook's face. "This bruises... What happened?"
The poor boy considered what to say, fearing that you would not believe him if he said that he got unjustly beaten, which is true, but obviously you would think he deserved it. Maybe he should stay quiet, so you wouldn't hate him. He should at least look like a good boy to impress. Before Jungkook decided between truth or silence - lying was out of question, he was horrorible in it - a voice besides him awnsered.
"The guards were bored and attacked him for no reason." You both looked to the young boy who had a guilty expression. "I'm sorry, it was my fault, I just wanted to play..."
"Oh". Both you and Jungkook cooed. He didn't expected do recieve a out side help, much less a apologise, the feeling was unprecedented.
"And well, you were the only one who didn't know about the rescue, I wanted to tell you."
Jungkook was confused. "Everybody knew?"
"All the hybrids..." The boy said, suddenly super comfortable around Jungkook.
"And some employes who helped us from within." You added, pulling Jungkook's face for you to see again. "Did someone treated this cut?" You questioned.
Jungkook made 'no' with his head once more and than completed with a low voice.
"The doctor who likes me wasn't working today.".
You sighed in understanding.
"She was one who helped us, we got her an alibi away from here." You leaned forward, talking to the driver through the rear view mirror. "Youngjae, do we have a first aid kit?"
"Under my seat."
The boy stared at the stuffed animals for a good time and then extended one to Jungkook. “Keep him.”
Jungkook looked at the stuffed bunny closely and smiled. “Thank you.”
With the white suitcase open on your lap and letting go of Jungkook's hand - for his dislike - you puted some hydrogen peroxide in a piece of gauze and faced him. "Can I?" You asked permission with a smile. Just like the sweet doctor did when the shelter welcomed him you took care of him - with a little less skill, but lovelly still, making him feel safe. Ok, he absolutelly trust you now.
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Durig the next hour you received on the radio news of the vans that took different paths arriving at the meeting place, yours being one of the last ones. Gladly no one had any unwanted encounters or problems on the way. The place in question was a freight train station, the secondthe van stoped, Youngjae was out to open the lateral door and you waking the hybrids up. "Lets go my sweet things. You can go back to sleep in a little while." You picked up a sleepy little hybrid, and along Youngjae helped all of them to get aou of the van, to follow the group to two big wagons open for them. Outside, those who saw would see only a common freight train, but inside the cars were adapted to take those hybridos in comfort and safety to a farm, one of the places where your organization guarantees a dignified life for hybrids, especially those who have not had an easy past, whether living there or going to good owners - whatever they choose. Jungkook tried to accompany you in the crowd by holding your hand, but he lost you by a few meter, almost not being able to see you between so many heads and the low light, just following your voice, biting his lip anxiously. For a moment his focus leaved you to the rabbit hybrid girl, she got separated from the group, having time to just quickly say goodbye to another girl, before she run to a car where a couple was waiting for her, the three of then huged, the man took her bag and putted in the trunk. She was really being adopted. Oh man, Jungkook want this so bad. If he is a good boy will he be adopted soon too? "Please, get in." A man in black putted a hand in Jungkook shouder, making him came back daydream. He got surprised for a momente, this man had dog ears to, the men in black have hybrid in their crew. "Please, get i the train." "Wait. No... Y/N..." Apparently he was the only one disturbing, all the other hybrids obeying quietly or already inside the car, looking at him as if he was a weirdo - at least Jungkook felt this way. "Y/N?" "I'm here." You emerged from the crowd. "It's okay, Jungkook, you can get in." "Ok." He smiled to you taking your hand again. He trust you so... But he stoped midstep when he noticed you didn't move. "Aren't you coming too?" You seemed surpresided when responding. "No." He thought for half a second and decided, setting his feet on the ground. "So I'm not getting in neither." "Jungkook..." you tried to argument but he interrupted you. "I'll go where you go." You both held each other's gaze for a moment. All the hybrids were now accommodated in the train wich was about to leave. That women from before came to hurry you, but you wheren't listenning at all. "Does it mean you want to go home with me?" You firmily asked. Without a second thought he vigorously nodded. "Yes." You released a sigh of relief and smiled. "They can close the doors. This one I'll take with me." You say to the woman, making Jungkook jump in his spot from excitement. "Are you sure?" She questioned. "Yep" You guided a super happy Jungkook to the oposite direction the train started to move to, the sound of the locomotive and loud honk blinding the little sounds of joy coming out of his mouth as he takes your hand again, swinging it back and forth. Your organization companions looking at you with knowing eyes. Never before you even consider adopting any of the rescued hybrids.
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this gonna be a series too. pls give love to it.
#bts fanfic#bts fanfction#bts hybrid fic#hybrid bts#hybrid jungkook#dog jungkook#jungkook x reader#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fanfic#bangtanshadowfamily
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Stressed Out (Ikesen Kenshin)
@nad-zeta asked: Hi hi love! Eeeeep! Its been a while since ive spammed ya box🥺🥺❤❤ hehehe! I see your requests are open so i just had to jump! Low key been feeling super down lately and crushed by all the work that needs to get done....... so here i am to ask for some fluff and bunnies to ease the soul❤❤❤❤❤ hehehe could i pretty please request a mc x kenshin comfort fic🥺🥺🥺 lol one where mc has been over working to the max and needs a little break❤❤😳🥺🥺 hehehe if ya need anymore detail or inspiration feel free to dm me😳😳☺☺
Love ya lots! Sending hugs!❤
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Ah, Zeta! I love seeing you in my askbox so much <3<3<3. You’re the cutest. I hope you are doing ok??? You better not work yourself too hard or I’ll come over there and suffocate you with my love. D: Or perhaps I will anyways, it’s quite tempting.
Anyways, this came much softer then I intended. But I must say, I’m quite happy with it ^^. Bunny boy fluff onw~!
Word count: 1.4/5k
TW: None
Reader has she/her pronouns
Tired.
Kenshin had noticed the dark circles under her eyes, the way she began tying up her hair more instead of combing it, not changing as often. He watched as the smile on her face changed to only a meek grin, how the light in her eyes seemed to crease. Her energy was draining on the daily, her bones seemingly heavy like weights by the way she walks. He looks outside, watching as the sun begins to descend from the horizon.
To tell the truth, she had not been feeling like herself lately. There was so much to do after she properly moved to Kasugama. She had become more well-known and offered to complete more sewing commissions. It seemed as if there was never any time, and if there was, it would quickly slip from her fingers. She would find herself not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings, let alone put on a fake smile for other’s pleasure. Her eyes skim across the velvety fabric in her hands, dropping it with a defeated grunt.
Setting her needle to the side, she rubs her forehead, dragging her hand down to rub her eyes. The weight of everything was beginning to crush her, it was suffocating. She was slowly losing the passion and inspiration she once felt when making clothing. Trying to find the fun in something when it becomes overwhelmingly urgent is nearly impossible.
She had not even noticed the sound of the door opening behind her, or the footsteps that followed. Shakily she inhales, head drooping downward. Her throat is dry, her hands began to shake from the tension in them. Everything had begun to crumble out of control.
When a strong pair of arms wrap around her shoulders, she gasps with surprise. Her heart races in her chest, threatening to explode. A familiar hand traces her arm gently, bringing her a slight sense of relief. Hot breath tickles the sensitive skin on her neck, lips pressing there.
“You need a break. The sun is coming down and you’ve been working since this morning.”
Kenshin’s voice is sultry, deep. It holds so much intensity that she almost melts into her chair. She wants to lean into his touch, let him take her away so that she never sees a needle again. But her actions differ from her thoughts. Straightening her posture, she cringes at an error she notices she made in her stitching. “I will later, I messed up here; the thread will be visible when wearing if I don’t fix it.”
She can feel his glare even without seeing him. His displeasure radiates off his body in an almost radioactive way. “The stitching can be done at another time, come with me.” His command makes her grimace.
“But it can’t… I promised that it would be done by tomorrow and they’re paying me for it. If I cancel now, what does that say about me as a person? I want them to buy my clothes more in the future, they are nice people. I only need a few more hours and I’ll be finished.” She lifts her needle yet again, pulling out her previous stitches from before. She had previously decided that she wanted to start making money for herself instead of just lending some off of Kenshin is she would be living in the Sengoku.
Standing up straight himself, he turns and looks around the room. Multiple different kimonos hang around them, each made by her with high amounts of precision and skill. It had been so long since they’d been intimate with one another, this was the most he’d even talked to her all day. He kneels at her side, paying attention to her hands.
He of all people knows what it’s like to consume yourself with something. For many years, his entire life was revolved around war and training. Nothing else mattered to him. At the time it seemed ideal, but looking back at it, he knows it was all just pure misery. An unhealthy way he chose to cope.
The woman he loves needs help- it became clear to Kenshin that it was his turn to do so.
He takes her palm in his own, clasping it gently with his calloused fingers. He notices how red hers have become. He rubs them gently, and she doesn’t stop him. She feels as if she cannot, for, the relaxation that encases her body is too much to deny.
She’s missed his touch; it’s been far too long.
Without saying anything, he takes the things from her lap, setting it to the side. She cranes her neck around in circles, closing her eyes. In an instant, strong arms are reaching out from under her, lifting and pulling her against his chest. She feels a tinge of guilt for giving in, but the ever-growing exhaustion triumphs all. She wraps her arms around his neck loosely, letting him take her away.
He sets her down in a chair, and she can hear him begin to pour water into a tub. Her eyes open and watch. “Oh, Kenshin, you don’t have to-”
“I want to.”
Her eyes begin to water as he helps her slip out of her clothes. She gets in the tub, letting the water sooth her tense muscles. Kenshin joins her shortly after, pulling her close to him. They sit there in silence for a while, he washes her thoroughly, wiping away all the stress he can. His hands soothingly glide against her neck, back, and anywhere else he senses even the slightest discomfort.
And finally, she presses a kiss to her temple, resting his head against her shoulder. “What’s been going on?” His question is clear, voice deep as he whispers in her ear. She didn’t know how, but it was as if everything began pouring out of her in that moment. She could feel the hot tears stream down her cheeks, ones he wiped away with the gentlest of touches known to man as she began to explain everything.
She told him about the pressure she feels and the guilt that lingers when she thinks of disappointing everyone. How she’s started to become repulsed by the thought of sewing, and that waking up and getting out of bed has become a difficult task. At one point, her gentle cries became full on sobs, her body shaking more and more.
Kenshin only pulls her close, listening to everything she needed to say before speaking himself.
“I love you with all of my heart, ___. I’d die for you. I need you to know that you do not need to work yourself so hard to make yourself useful. You are perfect, and if anyone ever makes you feel any different, then I will need their name so that I can kill them.” The seriousness in his last statement makes her shiver.
He continues, “Please do not overwork yourself. We will get through this, together. I don’t want you being so stressed out. You deserve a break, and to never feel this way again.” Kenshin takes her chin in his hand, “I am amazed with how strong of a woman you are. You are so strong, for that matter, that you make me stronger. I want to do the same in return.”
She is truly left speechless. Kenshin was never the verbally affectionate type- or the best with words at all, for that matter. And yet, here he is, speaking from his heart. She turns around properly, looking into his eyes. They seep with love and intensity, boring into her soul. He adores her with his entire being, as he always will. The look alone stirs a warm feeling in her chest.
His tender lips crash into her own, pressing the softest of kisses there. Her mind goes blank as she hugs him tightly.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
Being lifted back to their shared bedroom, he lays her onto the futon, pushing her hair out of her face. She smiles, but this time, it’s genuine. Her mind and body feel light again, she feels as if she is unstoppable. Although, she becomes slightly confused when he walks to the other side of the room, opening the door to the garden.
Suddenly, a large flash of white, black, and brown fills her vision. Balls of fluff topple onto her freshly cleaned body. Little noses tickle her sensitive skin, a fit of giggles escaping her lips. All the small furry companions only seem to be spurred on by this, laying on top of her like a warm blanket.
Kenshin can only bring himself to smile at the scene, watching her burst into yet another hysterical fit of laughter. He decides in that moment that there is absolutely nothing better than seeing her smile, and regardless of what it would take, he would always seek to find it.
#ikemensengoku#ikemen sengoku#ikesen kenshin#Ikesen#kenshin uesugi#kenshin#kenshin fluff#fluff#comfort fic#ask#this fic helped me get out of my writers block funk oml#This is like the first time i've wrote in over a month
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anyway have some major points from my "Warrior Cats Rewrite" outline. long story short im rewriting the entire series bc i can, feel free to suggest things youd like to see :)
Overall:
-Please note that some of these bullet points dont make sense in the order theyre in bc i forgot to put them in chronological order and didnt have much time to fix it
-Each book has a different protag in a different Clan
-Some names, families, and pelt colours will all be switched around/changed
-Some characters will be aged up or down depending on when it makes sense to me for them to be born
-StarClan is fucking powerless. Instead these fiesty battlecats have a religion similar to greeks, with their main gods are based around the moon. Its considered super lucky for a kit to be born under a full moon, and naming a cat/kit "Moon-" is considered super disrespectful and can get both kit and mother shunned by the Clan or exiled
-WindClan never stopped tunneling
-Oakheart is still alive
-Assume no cats are related unless I state otherwise
-Lostsong, Wildblaze, Ferncloud, Ashfur, Brambleflower, and Tawnystorm are all related (Bramble, Tawny, Ash, Fern have the same father, Wild, Lost, Bramble, Tawny have the same mother)
-Acorn and Squirrel are Dust/Sand's kits, though they 2 are no longer mates
-The medicine cats cant have mates or kits rule is thrown out the window bc its stupid
Name Changes:
-Brambleclaw -> Brambleflower
-Tawnypelt -> Tawnystorm
-Sandstorm -> Sandstrike
-Firestar -> Sparkfern
-Leafpool -> Acornleaf
-Brightheart -> Lostsong
-Yellowfang -> Mirestorm
-Ravenpaw -> Ravensight
-Swiftpaw -> Wildblaze
1st arc (The prophecies begin):
- Protags are Sparkfern (ThunderClan, book 1), Yellowfang (ShadowClan, Book 2), Mistyfoot (RiverClan, book 3), Tallstar (WindClan, book 4), Tigerclaw (Book 5)
-1st book goes more or less the same with only minor changes until you reach the point where Sparkpaw was supposed to run into Mirestorm
-In this rewrite Brokenstar "out of the good of his heart" allows Mirestorm to stay in ShadowClan under 2 conditions. She gives up being a medicine cat and goes back to being a warrior, and she isnt allowed anywhere without a guard. She accepts
-Tigerclaw goes through with the plan to kill Ravenpaw but fails. Ravenpaw, terrified for his life, decides to switch to being a medicine cat
-WindClan hasn't been driven out, but only because Tallstar gave ShadowClan a good half of their territory
-Tigerclaw doesn't try any backhanded traps like the thunderpath one
-That being said, Cinderpaw still gets caught on the Thunderpath bc she wasnt paying attention to where she was going
-She still goes back to warrior training though bc this ThunderClan doesn't discriminate
-All the ShadowClan stuff happens a bit later than it does in canon
-Spottedleaf lives, but she's fucked up really bad (Blind in left eye, intense scarring on face and right side, unable to use back leg without pain, etc etc) and decides to demote herself as a medicine cat and mkve to the elder's den
-Ravenpaw still isn't fully trained, so ThunderClan enlists Barkface's help
-Ravenpaw ends up being named Ravensight sometime around the middle of the 3rd book
-Sparkpaw becomes Sparkfern around halfway through the book bc i dont try to pack what should be a month of buildup into 2 days so theres timeskips when theres nothing happening
-Sandpaw and Dustpaw become Sandstrike and Dustpelt before Sparkfern and Greystripe because they were apprentices for longer
-Tigerclaw kills Sparkfern by the end of book 1
-Tigerclaw tries to kill Bluestar, but she runs out of the den and Tigerclaw gets exiled
-Mirestorm decides to say fuck it and in book 2 pushes Brokenstar into the gorge in RiverClan territory
-After Redtail's death Whitestorm is made deputy
-Since WindClan never needed to be brought back Whiteclaw is alive now too
-Instead of Nightstar, after Brokenstar's death Blackfoot becomes Blackstar
- Whitestorm ends up getting killed so Sandstrike is made deputy
-On that note since Sparkfern is dead Sandstrike was Cinderpelt's mentor
-Both Swiftpaw and Brightpaw live, but both are heavily scarred and are renamed Deadspot and Lostface by Buestar
-Tigerclaw still leads the dogs onto ThunderClan territory, but instead of coming up with the canon plan they all live in fear until RiverClan decides that this is painful to watch and help out
-Deadspot and Lostface end up having a 2nd run in with the dogs and Bluestar looses her last life saving them
-Sandstar renames them Wildblaze and Lostsong
-ThunderClan don't actually hate Bramble and Tawny for being Tiger's kits, but they both feel irrationally guilty about it and that causes just as much of a strain
-Brambleflower is the one who leaves ThunderClan this time, while Tawnystorm stays
-Silverstream and Greystripe never get together. Feathertail and Stormfur are Silver and WhiteClaw's kits
-Also Leopardstar dies earlier and Stonefur becomes Stonestar
-Tigerclaw takes control of BloodClan and renames himself Tigerstar
-When Tigerstar tries to take over ShadowClan Blackstar tells him no
-Tigerstar tries approaching Stonestar for an alliance and the whole "shun half clan cats" thing, not knowing that Stonestar is a half clan cat (Bluestar still told both Mistyfoot and Stonefur the truth) and Stonefur tells him to get fucked
-tigerstar decides to merge with WindClan instead
-The whole fourtrees stand off still happens, but Brambleflower kills Tigerstar (who due to being a faux leader and not going to the moonstone only has one life)
2nd arc (The New Prophecy):
-Protags are Brambleflower (ShadowClan, book 1), Feathertail (RiverClan, book 2), Crowpaw (WindClan, book 3), Tawnystorm (ThunderClan, book 4), Nightcloud (WindClan, book 5)
-The cats that go on the quest are Tawnystorm, Brambleflower, Feathertail, Crowpaw, Squirrelflight, and Nightpaw (Nightcloud)
-Squirrel (who was born earlier than in canon and is therefor now already a warrior) follows Tawny on the quest
-Squirrel has a puppy crush on Tawny and she makes this fact painfully clear
-Nightpaw follows Feather around like a lost dog
-Crowpaw ends up dying instead of Feathertail bc Nightpaw was in danger
-Nightpaw becomes Nightcloud after the journey and develops a crush on Acornleaf
-She's torn between the two until she realizes Acorn doesnt feel the same about her (Acornleaf is in love with Mothwing in this rewrite bc i said so)
-Nightcloud is briefly devastated but then realizes that this makes things so much easier for her and starts dating Feathertail
-Tawny and Squirrel get together after 4 1/2 whole books of obvious pining
-Daisy is still there, but she only has one kit as the others have died (The living kit is Berrynose, now renamed Hay)
-Daisy gets in a relationship with Lostsong and Cloudtail bc thats my OT3 and bc i said so
-After loosing Hazel and Mouse she finds that she can't bring herself to get too attached to Hay so Tawny and Squirrel adopt him and Daisy just becomes that cool aunt™
-Insert a good 7 pages of Bramble freaking out that he's an uncle now
-Hawkfrost is still evil and traps Sandstar in a fox trap, but Mothwing kills him this time.
-Mothwing ends up badly injured from her fight with Hawkfrost and Acornleaf takes care of her
-Stormfur ends up dying
-Feathertail leaves RiverClan to be with Nightcloud
-Daisy/Lostsong/Cloudtail end up having Whitekit (wing), Rosekit (petal), and Honeykit (flower)
-Acornleaf and Mothwing become mates at one point and love each other very very much
-Mothwing is trans (comfort hc ive had aince forever, not purely for the sake of her and Acorn having bio kits i promise) and her and Acorn end up having Swanblaze (Hollyleaf) and Goldenfern (Lionblaze)
-since both Moth and Acorn are their Clan's only medicine cat neither can join the other's clan so Moth takes Swan and Acorn takes Golden
-a good 7 moon timeskip between arc 2 book 5 and arc 3 book 1
3rd arc (Power of Three):
-Protags are Mothwing (RiverClan, book 1), Crowstorm (WindClan, book 2), Goldenfern (ThunderClan, book 3), Littlecloud (ShadowClan, book 4), Swanblaze (RiverClan, book 5)
-[Everything that follows happens between TPB and the beginning of PO3]
-Since there's no "medicine cats cant have kits or mates" rule its common knowledge that Swan and Golden are Moth and Acorn's kits
-On RiverClan's side Graymist (who becomes a queen earlier here for the sake of convenience) nursed Swan alongside Sneeze and Mallow. Besides the feeding Swan spent most of her time hanging around and playing with Motha
-On ThunderClan's side, since Rosepetal is the medicine cat apprentice, Leafpool nurses and raises Golden. The entire Clan treats him like their kit though, especially his aunts Tawnystorm and Squirrelflight
-[Everything that happens this point happens in the actual arc]
-The 3 are Swanblaze, Goldenfern, and Crowstorm (Night and Feather's adopted son. He counts as part of the 3 bc Redtail (Sand's father) was half WindClan in this rewrite and his WindClan father also had Night and Crow's mother
-While both Swan and Golden knew they had a sibling in another Clan, they didnt officially meet until their 2nd gathering, when Moth and Acorn intoduced them to eachother
-Swanpaw met Crowpaw when Crow was chasing a rabbit and couldn't stop himself from falling into the river.
-Mothwing, who had taken Swanpaw on an outing to help her collect herbs, ended up saving him and bringing him back to camp while they waited for WindClan to come back and get him
-While Crow is intended to be Jayfeather's replacement here, he isn't blind. He is, however, deaf. He's still training to be a warrior though bc fuck canon
-Night, Feather, and Crow developed a sort of cat sign language they spread to WindClan to help make it easier for Crow
-It eventually ended up spreading to Bramble and Moth, who spread it to their Clans
-Different powers and shit
-Swan has a sort of foresight. She can tell whats going to happen a few moments before it happens. While she brushes it off as good instincts, when she develops it more later in the series her foresight stretches up to a moon in advance
-Golden still has super strength. He aint invincible tho cuz that was a horeible plot point
-Crow can see and speak to ghosts in the living world. Not just StarClan or dead cats, but any dead animal. If he wants to speak to a dead fox he 100% can
-The 3 still know about the prophecy due to Swan training as a med cat and accidently getting it (She eventually ends up dropping it and Willowshine becomes the med app instead)
-Sol comes in and then the eclipse happens
-Golden and Crow are 100% ready to trust this strange cat they met 2 days ago but Swan is like yo dudes wtf
-That whole plot point happens, Sol tries to go to ShadowClan, but Blackstar tells him to fuck off so he does
-Swanpaw ends up accidently killing him (tried to threaten him into leaving the Clans alone using the dunk and let breathe method, ended up drowning him). The guilt she feels from it is what causes her to drop being a medicine cat apprentice and become a warrior.
-Ashfur still had a crush on Squirrel and is extremely jealous of Tawny. He tries the whole fire scene thing with Haynose, but before he's even halfway done with his monologue he stops for 3 seconds, looks around him, and realizes just what the fuck he's trying to do
-He helps Squirrel and Hay out of the fire, apologizes profusely, and turns himself in to Sandstar, accepting whatever punishment she gives him
-Bramble 100% visits both Hay and Swan at least once a week. Sand and Stone have realized by now that stopping him wont work so they just allow it
-There's no huge gathering scene this time because there isn't a big secret to tell
-The arc does end, however, with Swan finding Stonestar's lifeless body laying in his den
4th arc (Omen of the Stars):
-[NOTE: This section is unfinished due to lack of ideas]
-The whole Stonestar's dead body thing is going to be addressed, but i just dont have any ideas for that so its not addressed for now
- Dove and Ivy are both spoiled rotten by their aunts and grandparents
-As such Dove gains a sorta "entitled" attitude. Like not full tantrum entitled, but getting moody/snappy when she doesnt get what she wants
-Ivy is the same way, just a bit less snapping and a bit more silent treatment
-Brambleflower!!!! Has kits!!! With Rowanclaw!!!
-Yes, I am a big fan of the trans Rowanclaw hc
-I am giving Bramble Tawny's canon mate
-why?
-bc its what he deserves
-Anyway, Their kits are Brindlekit/heart (Tigerheart), Dawnkit/shade (Dawnpelt), and Russetkit/tail (Flametail), who I am aging down bc in canon these 3 already have their full names
-Tawny and Squirrel 100% babysit from time to time
-Dark forest trainees stay the same, but this time add in Dovewing, Bumblestripe and Briarlight
-Haven't read, unable to make an outline
-Briarlight didnt make it in time to push Longtail out of the way, so Briarlight isnt paralyzed and Longtail is dead
-Bumblestripe still has a crush on Dovewing, but is way more lowkey and less "creepy" about it
-Swanblaze becomes mates with Minnowtail
-Acornleaf dies in the Last Hope
-So do Brambleflower, Goldenfern, Honeyfur, Graymist, Spiderleg, Applefur, Olivenose, Redwillow, Ferretclaw, Tallpoppy, Whitetail, Heathertail, Reedwhisker, Robinwing, Mosspelt, Pouncetail, and Dovewing
5th arc (A Vision of Shadows):
-[NOTE: This section is empty due to me not having finished this arc.]
6th arc (The Broken Code):
-[NOTE: This section is empty due to me not having read this arc]
#submission#off topic#yes i am rewriting the whole series#why? you might be asking#and bc it gives me an excuse to reread every book in the series a good 100 times :)#< tags added by submitter
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secure
summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.
a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!
warnings: language
mood board:
-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP
“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.
“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.
“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”
“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.
“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!”
“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her.
“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything.
“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.
“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.
-- YOUR POV
I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing.
-texts w - Charles 🤪 -
< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol
you look great in everything! >
maybe party casual if that's a thing? >
< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉
-end texts-
he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways.
-- 1st PERSON DD
“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush.
“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.
“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.
“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.
“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.
“oh, hi. im David. big fan.”
“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”
i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.
“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks.
“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.
“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories?
“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”
“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.
“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.
“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.
“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.
as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?”
“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?”
“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.
“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.
she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”
her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again.
she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep.
the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her.
-- YOUR POV
I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.
“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.
“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.
he laughed, “ouch.”
“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car.
“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.
“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”
he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”
he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.
“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.
“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.
“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.”
-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY
“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”
“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.
“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”
“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.
“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.
“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.
“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”
“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory.
I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me.
part 2
#davids vlogs#david dobrik#david dobrik fanfiction#david dobrik imagine#david dobrik x reader#David dobrik fanfic#David dobrik imagines#vlog squad#vlog squad imagines#vlog squad fan fiction#Charlie puth#Charlie puth fanfic#Charlie puth imagine#Charlie puth fan fiction
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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020
You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.
What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.
Disclaimers:
Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.
Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.
My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.
I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.
So. Uh. How was your 2020?
Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.
The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.
Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.
Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.
The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).
The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).
Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.
I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.
Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year
Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.
Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.
I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good
So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.
But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.
Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.
First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.
I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.
Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.
If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.
One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.
And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.
And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.
I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.
I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.
Phew.
It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.
Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.
Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.
Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.
WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.
Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.
Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.
Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.
And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.
10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)
US: #3 / FR: #23
Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.
So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.
9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)
US: Not on the list / FR: #93
Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.
I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.
8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)
US: Not on the list / FR: #76
[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -
(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)
7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)
US: #19 / FR: #3
What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.
And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.
6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)
US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)
“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.
I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.
5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)
US: #48 / FR: Not on the list
That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.
4 - Dynamite (BTS)
US: #38 / FR: Not on the list
I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.
Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.
3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)
US: #62 / FR: Not on the list
What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.
I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.
The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.
Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.
2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)
US: #28 / FR: Not on the list
I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.
So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.
What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?
I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-
Oh.
1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)
US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)
Surprise. Or not.
Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.
I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.
Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.
Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.
See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.
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Imagine seeing David Harbour at a frozen yogurt shop
I was scrolling through Instagram this morning and saw this picture. The thing that struck me most about it was this quality of him looking like a regular handsome guy that you could ostensibly run into anywhere. That quality of his is a lot of what appeals to me about him, the idea that he’s just a “sexy normal dude” as Milla Jovovich put it.
Quickly I started to imagine a scenario in which shy!Reader happens to run into him and how I think that would play out. It was really helpful to use this picture as a prompt for my writing since Ive been feeling stuck with my other projects over the past couple of days. I know real person fiction is often frowned upon but this is more of a silly writing exercise than anything else. Please enjoy! (T for language, multiple uses of “Daddy”, 1.6k words)
It has been a long, stressful week for you and it’s looking like next week won’t be any different. All you want on this Sunday afternoon is some frozen yogurt. Nothing else. You don’t even ask any of your friends to go with you, you just get in your car and drive to the nearest place that comes up on GPS.
The first thing you see upon walking into the place is a cute dad standing at the counter, paying for his order. He’s wearing a dark purple t-shirt, black jeans, and a pair of sunglasses on top of his head. He’s actually more than cute, he’s really hot. You can’t help but stare at his muscular forearms and huge hands as you get in line. The top of his yogurt cup is covered in whipped cream and he has a tiny dollop of it on his left hand. Your mind goes straight into the gutter at the sight of it.
When he moves to sit down at one of the tables, you realize that there are no kids with him, just two other adults. He’s not actually a dad, at least not from what you can tell. He just looks like a dad and gives off that authoritative energy that only sexy older men possess. You didn’t see a wedding ring when you were staring at his hands so hopefully he’s single. Hopefully, as if you’d ever have the nerve to approach this man and ask him out on a date.
When it’s your turn to order, you get strawberry shortcake, a safe choice since you’ve never been here before. As the cashier tells you your total, you hear the man’s booming voice behind you. He’s not trying to be loud, he’s just a big guy who speaks with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. The voice almost sounds familiar to you. Almost like someone you know but you don’t know anyone this handsome in real life. Digging out a couple of coins from your wallet, it dawns on you where you’ve heard his voice before.
Stranger Things. On Netflix. That’s not just any random hot guy that you were staring at, that’s David fucking Harbour! Your entire body freezes in place and your mind goes blank. The one solitary thought in your head is the sound of his voice. His deep, sexy voice. One that has the power both to soothe and to provoke. You close your eyes and listen to him, almost getting lost in a trance. The cashier repeats your total back to you and your eyes shoot open again. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you say as you hand them your money then turn around to find somewhere to sit.
Your eyes dart around the room, looking for empty tables. There’s plenty available but only one that’s close enough to him without being too obvious. From this vantage point, you should be able to look at him without him noticing too much that you’re fully staring. Taking a deep breath, you set your cup down on the table, pull the chair out, and sit down. Finally, you look at him again, trying to extinguish that lingering doubt that it’s really him and your thirsty brain isn’t just playing tricks on you. His blue eyes, his beard, his dimples, and the teensy little mole on the back of his right hand all confirm your suspicion. It is him! There’s absolutely no denying it now.
No wonder you felt so short when you walked past him, the man is 6’3” for christsake. You know that from Googling him before, as you’ve done so multiple times. It’s been a while since you’ve watched Strangers Things, but every time you do, you catch yourself having a crush on Chief Jim Hopper. How could you not? He is the epitome of a Hot Dad, a total DILF. You've even fantasized about calling him Daddy before, and here he is, in the flesh, eating frozen yogurt and drinking his coffee just a few feet away from you. The idea of asking him out seems infinitely more impossible now than it did when you thought he was just an average, albeit gorgeous guy.
It isn’t until now that you regret not inviting anyone to come here with you because you already know that none of your friends are going to believe it when you tell them that you saw David Harbour in person. They’re going to say that it was just wishful thinking and probably tease you about liking him so much, about all the Hopper fanfiction you’ve read. Oh gosh, the fanfiction. The thoughts you’ve had about the character that this man plays are absolutely filthy. If you’re being completely honest with yourself, those thoughts were never restricted solely to his character. You’ve had just as many, if not more, wild fantasies about the man himself. You blush at all the times you’ve said that you wouldn’t be able to control yourself if you ever met him.
This isn’t technically meeting him though. This is accidentally running into him somewhere and wrestling with yourself about what to do next. The way he talks and the way he smiles seems so warm and friendly. Surely he wouldn’t mind you coming over to his table for a brief moment just to say hi, maybe get an autograph, maybe a hug if you’re feeling extra bold. He probably wouldn’t mind, you’re not sure if you’d be able to deal with it. What if you go to speak to him and no words come out? What if he does hug you and as you feel his strong arms wrapped around you, you get lost in the moment and accidentally call him Daddy? That would be absolutely humiliating and you'd never be able to forget it.
For now, you just watch him, almost like it’s a scene from the show. Both of you eat your frozen yogurt, but you’re so enraptured by him that you’re not really paying attention to the taste or the temperature. All your attention is on him, the way he opens his mouth slightly, sticking his tongue out a bit to meet the spoon as it touches his lips. Oh, how you wish you were that spoon, that he might touch you with his tongue. After what feels like either a second or an hour, but is probably only ten minutes, he gazes to the side and his eyes meet yours. You let out a soft gasp and immediately look down at your table, the beauty and intensity of his dark blue eyes just too much for you to handle. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment at the prospect of him catching you staring at him. When you look back up, your hands trembling just a little bit, he’s no longer looking at you, but he has the most amazing smile on his face.
Aside from the spoon, you feel an additional inkling of jealousy towards the people he’s with. They all seem to be close friends, based on how they’re interacting with each other. He’s so engaging in the way that he speaks with them, the way that he listens so intently. Multiple times, he has both of them laughing. Sometimes it’s more of an inside joke that you don’t understand, and sometimes it's something that makes you want to laugh as well, although you hold back since you’re not supposed to be eavesdropping. Even if you didn’t want to listen to his conversation, it would be hard not to. He has such a big presence, it practically fills up the entire room. If your eyes were able to unglue from him and look around, you’re certain that you wouldn’t be the only one that’s preoccupied with him.
After glancing down at your cup to check how much frozen yogurt is left, your eyes go back to him and see that he and the people he came with are getting up to leave. There’s a weight in your chest at the thought of him going without you having exchanged a single word. Not only that, but you won’t even be able to look at him anymore. Once they’re all standing, a woman comes up to him and asks for a picture. He could not possibly be any more kind and gracious to her. He gives such a cute little smirk as he poses for the picture and chats with her a bit before she sits back down. It’s one of the most adorable things you’ve ever seen.
Now is your chance! Now you have to say something to him! You already know he’s going to be sweet to you if you approach him but it’s not his reaction that you’re worried about, it’s yours. If you talk to him and accidentally say something stupid, he’s not going to mind at all but you will. You’ll think about it every single day. As he walks from his table to the front door, he profusely thanks the people working behind the counter and you feel like your heart is going to burst because of how nice he is. He nears the exit and it’s literally now or never as you have absolutely no idea when you might ever see him again.
There’s so much you want to say, so much you need to say. All these pining, appreciative thoughts race through your head, wanting to jump out of your mouth. Each of them are quieted when he looks at you. Not in your general vicinity, but directly at you. He gives you another amazing smile that makes you completely melt inside. “Bye,” he says to you casually. “Bye,” you respond wistfully, a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. The smile stays on his face as he leaves and puts his sunglasses back on. Your heart is beating a mile a minute while you watch him walk away. You will think about this every single day, not because you made a fool of yourself but because David Harbour noticed you.
#David Harbour#jim hopper imagine#David Harbour imagine#Hopper x Reader#Hopper x You#gender neutral reader#I did it#I don't care if this is embarrassing#im just practicing
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Hii can I have a Steve x Reader with these prompts 1, 5, 10, 14, 15 Can it end in fluff :>>> thank youu 💞💞
Summary: A mission goes wrong, but what makes it worse is the fight Steve and you have right before the team leaves.
Pairing: Steve x Fem!Avenger!Reader
Warnings: violence/injury, angst, fluff
Words: 1910
A/N: Prompts are in bold. I’ve been thinking about this all day and I’m hoping that this plot is good lol. I didn’t think this was going to be as long as it is but it is so... Also, don’t ask who this villain is because he is kind of based off of Mysterio but he isn’t Mysterio... I hope you enjoy it! Request a prompt from this list.
(gif credit here)
“You can’t be serious, Steve.” You groaned, slipping on your mask. “Why do you think I like Sam or Bucky? They’re my teammates. And you are my boyfriend.” You put on your gloves and made sure that you could move properly in your new suit.
“I’m your teammate too, (Y/N). Doesn’t mean anything. You spend all last week with Buck making your new suit, and Sam helped train with you too. You barley came over to my room when you were done too, so I’m feeling a little left out.” Steve went over the past two weeks of your life, starting to get on your nerves.
“Because they’re my friends, and Bucky’s suit has all of the same things mine does, he was helping me upgrade it. You were in mission briefs all week, what else was I supposed to do? I needed to train and Sam wasn’t doing anything. You know he’s good at combat.” You told Steve, trying to get him to calm down. He seemed a lot more jealous recently, but you two didn’t spend much time together in the past few weeks. It just made it worse that you were spending that time apart with his best friends.
“You could’ve waited--” He started but got interrupted when FRIDAY called out that you were approaching the jump point. “We’re gonna finish this later.” He told you.
You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, looking over at the mission sheet. “Wait, who’s partnering with who?” You asked, surprised he didn’t pair the four of you up earlier.
“There’s three of us, choose one,” Steve said, crossing his arms to wait for your decision.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You muttered, looking to Steve and then to his two best friends. “Steve-”
“Come on, we can go in together. It’ll be easier to carry her rather than metal arm over here.” Sam said, putting on his goggles.
Steve looked to you and hummed, opening the drop door to the jet. “Okay then,” He said and Bucky followed him out of the jet. You groaned and walked with Sam to the drop door.
“Don’t let me fall,” you said before Sam took you down to the building’s roof. You got to a hatch and opened it, following the plan that you had gone over on the way here.
It was all going fine until you heard a large boom come from the room over, followed by a wave of smoke and fire. “Sam!” you called out, asking if anyone was in there through comms. When you only got static, you walked slowly towards the door. You put your hand on the handle and turned it, silently thanking Tony for making your gloves heat-resistant. “Steve? Sam? Bucky?” You called out, wandering throughout the smoke-filled room.
“Oh, sweetheart, this is so unfortunate.” You heard as the voice filled the room, the smoke dissipating around you. “You fell for it, I didn’t think a super spy would be coaxed by a false explosion.”
“Then why did you…”
“I wanted to test it, and now you’re not going to get out of here alive.” The voice said, a man appearing from the door. “I hear you’re pretty important to Captain Rogers, so maybe I’ll use you to lure him here...” You looked around, seeing multiple exits you could take, realizing that you weren’t even tied up. You could easily get away, especially since he was doing a classic villain monologue. You slowly made your way over to the door you had come from, only to have it disappear as soon as you touched it.
“Oh, you really thought I would say all of that without having you tied up? You passed out the second you walked into the room.” The man said, walking in front of you. Your eyes widened, trying to get out of the restraints. “Maybe you need to be a little more battered to make it seem direr.” He spoke, creeping towards the chair.
You cringed as you tried to get out of the restraints and they tightened around your arms. “You’re insane, you can’t hurt me.” You tried to stall him, get him to talk more as you thought of a way out. You didn’t feel the comms in your ear anymore, which meant he must’ve taken them out when you were passed out.
“Oh, of course, I can. I have all these tools here.” He said, bringing over a tray. You tried to think back to the multiple ways that Nat taught you to get out of this situation, but every time you tried something, another restraint tightened or you got shocked. This chair you were stuck in was near impossible to break, which made it worse when he neared your body with a weapon that made you struggle even more.
***
“Now go on, call out to him,” The man said, holding the knife up to your throat.
You winced as you shook your head, trying to get the breath to tell him that you weren’t going to do anything. You felt the knife break skin, giving it a small cut but nothing compared to the other injuries on your body. You felt your broken ribs, sprained wrist, the cuts and bruises on your face, a busted lip. Anything from the waist up probably didn’t look good, since he couldn’t do much with your legs tied to the chair. Your ankles, however, most likely had terrible bruises if not burns on them. “Call out to him.” He said again, not asking but telling.
“St-Steve.” You called, using the energy that you had left. He had turned up the smoke in the room again after he put on a mask to cover himself. It was draining your energy quicker than the blood loss could. The man grabbed the comms and told you to say it again, and when you did he crushed it underneath his foot like some kind of further torment.
“And now, I get to watch as the two of you claw for life.” He said, laughing as he walked out of the door. You heard a ringing as the door shut, followed by a real bomb going off.
“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Are you in there? Are you hurt” Steve called out once the dust subsided. You could hear the building rumble as you tried to get out of the restraints again.
“I can’t breath.” You said, wincing at the pain in your lungs as you inhaled the smog around you.
“Alright, alright just hang on. I’m coming for you, don’t move.” He called out, making his way through the wreckage.
You tried your best to stay awake and conscious, but the blood loss and the smoke was starting to be too much for your body to handle. It was going to shut down to preserve your life any minute now.
You felt your eyes well up with tears not only because of the amount of pain you were in but because you were thinking this may be the last time you see Steve. And the last thing you did before this fight.
“Hey, (Y/N) I’m right here.” He said, covering his nose with his sleeve to keep him from inhaling the smoke. He held up his shield and cut the restraints from your ankles and arms, giving you a small amount of relief.
“St-Steve... The building... It’s gonna…” You started but he cut you off. “You gotta save your energy okay? I’m gonna get you out of here.” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist. You let out a cry of pain and clutched onto him.
“Broken... Ribs..” You muttered, shaking your head in the slightest way when he asked if he could carry you.
He set you down on the ground in what seemed like a stable part of the building, for now, to try and help with the pain so he would be able to carry you out. He pulled out the shot that they were given in case something like this happened, putting it into the side of your arm. “I wish I could do more but until this kicks in, we can’t go anywhere.” He said, sensing that if you were put in any more pain you would pass out, possibly not wake up again.
“Just smile, I really need to... see your smile... right now.” You muttered with staggered breaths, eyes opening and closing in a slow tempo. You could see the water build up in his eyes as he gave you a small smile, shaking his head.
“You have a long time to be able to see my smile, doll.” He said, cupping your cheek as gently as he could. “You smile now, please. Just stay awake.” Looking into your eyes, he leaned his forehead against yours.
You gave your best attempt at a smile, but it came out as a pained cringe. You grabbed onto your stomach and winced, clenching your jaw from the agony caused by your rib cage. “I can’t…” Your voice faltered as your hearing started to change into a constant ringing.
Steve’s muffled voice was the only thing you could hear as you lost consciousness, “Don’t close your eyes on me...”
***
It had been days, too many for Steve’s liking, that you had been asleep. Bruce said that it was a miracle you were still alive. Partly because of the shot Steve gave you that kicked in right in time to keep your vitals strong enough to get you to the med bay in time. It still didn’t help the fact that you were in a bed with a heart monitor attached to you, an IV in your arm, and a cannula around your head to give you stable oxygen.
Steve barely got sleep, staying by your side until Bucky had to drag him out so Bruce could run a few more tests. He had finally fallen asleep at your bedside just as you woke up. You took a few shaky breaths as you opened your eyes, the low beeping of your heart pulling you out of the deep slumber you were put in. You looked over to see Steve clutching your hand in his as his head was on the bed. You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you could tell he didn’t get enough sleep anyway. You tried your best to not wake him, but he had barely fallen asleep and was on edge already.
“(Y/N)?” He asked with a sleepy voice, seeing that you were awake. “(Y/N)!” He said happily, raising his head to yours and kissing your forehead. “You’re awake. God, you’re awake and you’re okay.” He said and squeezed your hand, making you wince at the amount of pressure he applied. “Sorry, sorry.” He said and loosened his grip.
You gave him a small squeezed, raising his hand and kissing the back of it. “There’s the smile I wanted.” You said, giving him one that he wanted as well.
You heard his soft chuckle, the sound giving you a small amount of energy you needed to lean up and kiss him softly. “You know that you’re the only man that I love right?” You whispered against his lips.
He hummed and nodded, leaning his forehead against yours. “I don’t think I’m ever going to doubt you again.” He assured, wrapping his arms around your to pull you into a soft embrace.
#steve rogers x reader#captain america#steve rogers#captain america x reader#steve rogers imagine#bucky barns#sam wilson#kaithezaftig#mcuamerica#katie answers#request#prompt request#ask
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sexuality troubles.
i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.
is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.
all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.
nsfw incoming.
ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.
i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha
#questioning#lesbian#trans masc#nonbinary#bisexual#transmasc#trans man#help#lgbtq#queer#trans#rambles
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Session 19 - your majesty, i present to you the vengaboys
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> 🎵 Pianissimo Epilogue / Silent Hill 2 OST
Returning to our tale, the group have all found respite in Vorde’s temporary abode in Shorewater, resting up and recovering from the night's events. Soon morning comes, though with the curtains shut as they are, it's a bit hard to tell that it's now daylight outside as they all slowly come too.
Peering about the group dont spot Vorde about, supposing he’s still in his room. Feeling a hankering for breakfast, Keva and Psalm wander over to the small dining table in the room and the fruit still piled upon it, chowing down. Psalm continues looking at the tome they stole yesterday as he does, continuing to copy runes and scan for any more information as he does.
Keva: keva is cuttin up an apple into slices with a small knife, giving some to amos and setting some aside and occasionally eating a slice Psalm: i'm just cooling at this breakfast table
Rokka begins his morning stretches, Finn sees this and decides to join him as well, Han watches and secretly does her own stretches, trying to not seem as if she wants to join in.
Plum: WHY Han: issues ! Plum: LMFAO Rokka: did our near death experience not bring us closer
In the meantime Plum and Cimmorro prepare their spells for the day, either via quick study or short prayer. Seemingly done with her stretches, Han comes over and joins the two at the dining table to eat (she hoards some of the food after everyone's had some). As the group go about their activities Orin eventually ambles out of him and Finn’s room somewhat drowsy, he takes a seat at the table next to psalm and takes a bite of an apple.
Psalm: good morning orin Rokka: i am crushing an apple in my mouth whole Orin: "mornin'" he looks like hes about to continue but rokka eating an apple whole makes him go : 0 though he quickly sneaks one of Keva’s slices after. Keva: an apple a day keeps the Chip: cult away Psalm: CLEARLY IT DONT
Han heads over to the window to the balcony briefly and opens the curtain ever so slightly to peer outside, looking down she sees the fenced garden of the building, a few birds flitting about in the branches of trees. Craning her head to try and look at the street she doesn't see anybody around. Out of the corner of his eye Finn sees Han move the curtain slightly and quickly becomes on edge before realising all is fine.
Finn:
Han: LKSAD;LKHFLKHAWEFDS Finn: grimaces @ han opening the curtain and moves slightly. Chip: like a cat Finn: yes! Chip: fur raised Finn: KHJSHEJEHLJ
After a time the group hear some shuffling from the door Vorde disappeared behind last night, it slowly creaks open revealing his form. He walks out and looks about the group of them idling about and rubs his eyes turning and walking to the dining table to also grab an AppleTM, he doesn't sit down though
Han: i am 100% imagining this strained awkward silence Psalm: is he gonna crush it in his bare hands, BAROK VON VORDE... Finn:😳 Han: chip what did we watch dgs FOR Chip: NO
Finn: "morning uncle" finn stares kinda wondering why hes not sitting down but thats not gonna ruin his day Vorde: "morning finnian, i hope waking during daylight hours isnt too much for you" his eyes look sleepy as he speaks Orin: orin swallows his apple and speaks up "take a seat boss!" Vorde: he shakes his head in response "need to stand for a while for the blood to return to my legs" Finn: finn cant help but smile at that and responds "mm not exactly pleasant but i can manage. did you stay up?"
As the two chat Keva takes the moment to go take a quick morning bath, bringing Amos into the bathroom with her to give him a clean as well. Orin watches her take the rat into the bathroom with a face of confusion.
Vorde: "good to know" he pauses "hmm yes, I’ve been working through the night on how to present our case to the royalty, im going to be needing you all to speak as well once were before the court, merely on the things that prove you weren't responsible for the assassinations. We've the evidence to back up our claims so im not too worried. Of course if the royalty calls upon you you're each to respond in kind as well.” Finn: source: trust me Han: han hmms
Vorde seems to stretch slightly after finishing his apple and finally takes a seat at the dining table with the others, crossing his legs as he sits.
Vorde: “My plan is thus; gain entry to the palace and an audience with the royalty, once there reveal the truth that the Red Letterhead’s machinations are the true cause for all this strife and go from there, i intend to warn them that Theyord’s apparent plans are about to be put into motion soon as well” he glances back over at his room “i will be presenting and handing over the items we have procured this far, including the tome" he glances at you psalm "hopefully it will be proof positive enough, should the archmage be around she won't find ive anything to hide on the matter”
He takes a quick sigh and rubs one of his eyes “I'm not sure what the royals will decide after that, I imagine they will put further efforts in place regarding the protection of the city and its walls, they should in anycase. If we are free to walk after we can investigate madam Shelly Carter’s lead after, perhaps we may request aid for the task as well, though I'm sure they will be hard pressed to spare much after such a threat to the city has been revealed. They’ll want all hands on deck”
Finn: finn nods and just thinks "man my uncle is so smart and cool. what a solid plan." Cimmorro: 🤨 Plum:
Han: a lot seems to be hinging on the royals kind nature Vorde: true, they arent benevolent but i dont think they're idiots either. It would be hard to ignore the items we've gathered. As well as the presence of a time limit Han: .... not that we have a better plan, but were i in that position, i just throw us in jail, less loose ends Psalm: Here's to hoping they don't just jump to conclusions hm? ^_^ Han: "what might we think to do then" said at the group kinda Plum: dunno, never busted outta jail before
The group decide that if worse comes to worse they’d prefer to try and figure out a plan to jailbreak themselves rather than resist the guardsmen and die trying. They also bring up the fact that they still currently think the mayor and Vinny are still compromised or under Theyord’s influence, and to keep it in mind. Keva leaves the bath around soon after and rejoins the group discussion.
Vorde: he continues, blinking slowly “hmm yes i forgot to specify, we are going ahead with the prisoners plan. However it won't be good for me to parade you all through the street even if you are ‘restrained’, it would be best if we could appear right before the guardsmen at the palace so the closest place for them to lock you up if they decide too is within the palace itself. I should state if they do haul you away, I advise you not to resist, with the city on guard as it is it will be nigh impossible for you to escape anywhere. If I do my job right you will be out within half an hour I suspect and brought to the court if you are carted off, that is what I plan anyway.” he pauses "ill do my best to stick with you however" Han: HAN BREATHES A LONG BREATHE X2 Psalm: “Appreciated. Always good to have friends in higher places for this kind of thing, rather than muscle your way out of it “ @ han Han: neither of those things seem to go well for me Psalm: he just shrugs
Vorde: he unclasps his hands and continues speaking "speaking of, are any of carrying any rope on your person" Han: shibari time huh Cimmorro: bondage ti Keva: keva asks "what for" Vorde: aforementioned restraints
Cimmorro: "yall don't have rope in this house??" 🤨 Vorde: 🤨 vorde like no bro Cimmorro: damn ok sorry Chip: [cimm leaves the room] Cimmorro: KGJFLSDKJGKLSFG
Rokka hands Vorde a few lengths of rope from his pack to tie the group up with in their fake prisoners ploy, satisfied Vorde then tucks it away for later. He then brings up another concern he seems to have on his mind.
Vorde: he turns to you Finn with his brows furrowed “I am not sure...if I ought to bring you along Finnian. It is best we act swiftly which does mean leaving during daylight. You could stay here, though perhaps i ought to leave Orin with you. Best if you weren't alone after what happened a week back.” Finn: finn also furrows his brows and ponders his uncles words for a moment. "is it only because of the daylight uncle?" Vorde: he thinks for a moment "i suppose so"
Finn asks Orin to then go check and see how harsh the sunlight out today seems, he obliges, getting up to carefully sneak his way past the curtain as the group continue discussing the matter.
Han: han glances btwn vorde n finn quizzically "what happened a week ago" Finn: i exchange looks with vorde as to telepathically ask whos gonna answer her. Vorde: he looks at you finn and sighs before turning back to you han, tapping the table with one finger "when we first arrived in Shorewater and began poking around we were sent an uninvited visitor" Han: who Vorde: an assassin Han: han rolls her eyes "yes i got that but. any identifying features" Vorde: i found a letterheads token on him, though he was dressed as a guardsman. No ring so i assume he killed someone and stole their clothes to find passage to our room. Nothing else stood out about him. Han: han hmms thoughtfully Chip: geralt hmmm Han: yea, the energy im channelling today
Han: he didnt return and they didnt send anyone else to finish the job. cocky Vorde: [a nod] Psalm: or maybe with their ceremony on the horizon they decided they needed everyone focused on the same goal? Han: which is, in a word, cocky Psalm: sure if you want to put it that way
Han: "wait what did you do with the body" @ vorde Vorde: dumped in the sewers Han: han goes HHHRMMNH fwustwated
Orin returns and informs Finn and the gang that it appears to be cloudy out today, they should be good if Finn covers up with heavy cloaks. Finn thanks him and tells his uncle it should be alright for him to come with them, though he wouldn't mind staying back if that is what he preferred.
Vorde: vorde like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Psalm: “wouldn't it be safer to stick with a group in that case?” with his nephew there maybe he'll try harder to make things not go badly for us! 🙂 Plum: i also think it'd be kinda bad to be here alone, not like they didn't see us all runnin around Vorde: "i suppose it is better to stick together in this case" he looks at you finn "try not to horse around too much in the daylight" vorde worried parent mode engaged Finn: finn gives a big smile "got it!". >finn feels cared for friendship meter goes up Vorde: hmm, it would be more convincing in any case if i wasnt the only one bringing a group of fugitives to the palace. Finnian and Orin could make also have hold of the restraints.
Finn now assured that he is coming along, heads off into his room to quickly bulk up for the outside journey. Donning three three cloaks, the heaviest on top, thick black gloves and boots, a big sunhat and a scarf to protect his neck, he waddles back out into the main room where the party is situated.
Keva: keva's mouth seems to wiggle as she tries not to laugh Vorde: as you wander out and present yourself, vorde walks up to you and inspects your ensemble, after a moment he adjusts your scarf so it covers you mouth more and hmm's satisfied Orin: orin shouts a "looking good!" from across the room and snorts at keva Keva: keva shoots orin a look back like "what" and her smile breaks thru a little more before she fixes her face Plum: plum gives you a thumbs up Finn: "thanks uncle!!" finn beams @ vorde and looks at plum and orin and also shoots them a grateful smile
Vorde stretches again slightly, seemingly finally more awake then before, he informs the party to ready themselves to set off. They’ll get as close as they can to the palace before putting on the restrained charade, informing them they need to only disguise themselves well enough for a 5 minute walk through some alleys. Heading back into his room he begins preparing the evidence within his satchel and making himself presentable, the party following suit in trying to look conspicuous.
Keva: keva ties up her wet hair and pulls her hood and face mask up Han: han braids her hair and throws up cape too Psalm: (uses disguise kit) for good measure i just pull my hood up too Cimmorro: i'll just take off all the flashy jewellery and keep the hood up if that suffices Rokka: DISGUISE RING...
Rokka uses the disguise ring stolen from the letterheads to once again turn himself into a different human form, Chris Rokksworth, pop sensation. Plum asks the group if they oughta down the red potion they found earlier to change their hair colour.
Plum: can i just drink that weird potion and call it a day Han: angery ronand mcdoland Keva:
Psalm: i don't see why not, i'm hard pressed to think of a better time to use it Han: han shrugs in a ye sure way Plum: [looking very excited] "ok yeah sure" i chug that shit
you pop open the red bulbous vial and drink the airy liquid. slowly youre hair turns red, additionally your tongue does as well.
Rokka: cool hair plum Finn: i give a thumbs up back at plum for earlier.
Vorde walks out of the room once more, he almost seems surprised seeing Rokka as a person but doesn't comment, he also doesn't say anything about plums hair. Satisfied with the disguises he heads for the balcony window, informing them its better if theyre not all seen exiting the front. He slides open the curtains and clicks open the doors, peering out for witnesses before he motions for the group to all follow him as he hops down. Orin adjusts his cloak and follows quickly after.
Rokka: vorde am i hot, am i hot to u vorde
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> 🎵 Aequilibrium. Medieval Tune. Hurdy-Gurdy With Organ / Andrey Vinogradov
The group quickly follow after the two sliding down the side of the building, though psalm seems to hitch his hooves on some stonework, nearly chipping them oww....his pedicure. The rest make it down quick enough and follow as Vorde begins leading the way through the shadowed alleys, as stealthily as they can to avoid detection from the increased patrols. Vorde keeping the lead and lookout helps the group manage to get by without sticking out too much.
Finally they all slowly come to a stop at an alley corner, as they come close they steal a glance at the palace, it looks as regal in the daylight as it did on the night the group all first stood before it, its peaks reaching high into the sky. The large light blue and white extravagant building dwarfs their forms, though it no longer has the inviting warm glow and festive aura as it did before. Guards stand alert and in a large number around the streets and on top of the walls, the main gates firmly shut with two royal guardsmen stationed in front of it at the top of the stairs leading up to it. Vorde quickly calls the group to attention.
Vorde: “follow my lead and don't put up too much of a fight, be sure to make sour enough faces to be convincing however, at least until you’re called before the court” he pulls the rope out of his satchel Keva: keva's face sours upon seeing the ropes come out no problem Han: hans been sour this whole time no worries bruv, i also keep a look out, like hans basically constantly alert and trying take in every little thing Psalm: psalm just stoic face as per usual, elevator music Rokka: im a celebrity im good at this, jk rokka is nervous af Plum: i always look kinda sour anyways Cimmorro: 😳 cimm like this Chip: cimm a freak like dat Psalm: LOOOL Cimmorro: oh no you caught mee, what ever shall i do, arrest this Plum: shut up shut up Han: cimm 😳 damn u pulling out ropes on the first date?
Vorde moves to hand some of the rope to Orin and they get to tying the six of the groups hands up, not too tightly but convincingly enough. He hands the rope holding Keva and Psalm off to Orin, and Han and Rokka to Finn, holding Plum and Cimmorro’s in his own.
Vorde: "right then, plays about to begin, stay calm and follow my lead" he gives orin and finn both a nod Han: han nudges rokka to get his attention Rokka: tilts head at han ? Han: han points to vorde and makes a stupid face while pretending to talk seriously Rokka: rokka tries to stifle his laughs Finn: finn peeks out from under his scarf and squints Han: han stops immediately if she sees finn looking Rokka: rokka making snorting sounds from failing to not laugh Finn: I WAS GONNA WRITE THAT FINN HAS A SOMEWHAT APOLOGETIC LOOK BUT THEN YOU SENT THAT POKI Han: han is the picture of innocence Finn: finns rolls his eyes and turns his attention elsewhere
Psalm: well this works out pretty nicely doesn't it, since i've been kind of curious about you. Orin: he just raises a brow Keva: keva looks at psalm Psalm: he just smiles Ghester: [plays laughtrack.mp3 in ur head] Psalm: well i'm not the most learned person out there, but i was a bit curious how you came to start working for vorde is all Keva: you ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn't answer them Psalm: i think you're misunderstanding, i'm not asking anything. if i had an answer there'd be nothing to be curious about. Keva: keva makes a face like you're just saying words at her psalm Psalm: psalm just sighs Orin: “i dont mind telling you, its nothing special. Maybe after we get through court though" he looks back at you keva "no need to be so cagey about it really" Psalm: i highly doubt that it's nothing special. and i don't think there's been a time where she hasn't been cagey around me i think. Keva: oh don't go thinking you're special Psalm: oh i'm not? now i'm even more hurt
Cimmorro: "so how are we feelin today" cimm attempts to nudge plum gently but ends up hitting their head with his elbow accidentally, oh shit sorry your wig Plum: [GROANS REALLY LOUDLY] Cimmorro: well at least we're able to play the sour part of this play eh, all according to keikaku [editors note: keikaku means plan] Plum: always, not hard with this group Cimmorro: agreed. hey at least we're having the thrill of our lives eh? who knew we'd have a one way trip to life sentence. free! Plum: i honestly.... Cannot tell if you're joking Cimmorro:
Plum: [plum laughs] Vorde: while looking for a chance to head out of the alley he listens to the two of you like : | Cimmorro: vorde not being paid enough by the hour to baby sit cimm
Rokka: dont make me laugh im trying to be nervous Han: "whats there to be nervous about, really" han has a weak smile lmao Rokka: life sentence Han: "just gotta break out then" nudges rokka again Rokka: "ur right. ur so smart han" rokka visibly relaxes as he talks to han more aha Han: han laughs quietly "wish i had someone nice like you for a sibling instead of shitheads" Rokka: no stopping that now Han: after han finally Gets it, shes trying not to look like [crying emoji] then looks away kinda shy? "...they arent. complete shitheads......... i think you would get along nicely with'em" Finn: finn eavesdropping @ han, inch resting Rokka: I'd love to meet them one day if we make it out of this Han: "we will. i have to knock the life out of one of them" han smiles Rokka: how many siblings do you have Han: han loses her smile a touch and hesitates a sec b4 answering "...two now." Rokka: now..? Vorde: out of the corner of your eye you all see vorde come to attention and speak "its as empty as it'll be, nows the time to get as far as we can. were on" he shoots you all a glance. Rokka: rokka shoots a quick concerned glance at han before facing forward again
Vorde pulls the two behind him ahead on the ropes and marches proudly into the street, walking at a speedy pace followed by Orin and Finn, the group gets as far up the stairway to the main gates as possible before the entourage is spotted by the various nearby royal guardsman.
Immediately they hear a few shouts ahead of them as the two royal guards by the door call out to Vorde to halt, looking the group also notice the guards on the walls train arrows on their forms. Behind, nearby guards quickly run up to flank the group, surrounding them.
Keva: keva tenses up as the guards approach Han: han too, also making note of fucking everything, how many people, exits, all that shit Rokka: rokka also does the tense Plum: plum stands a little closer to cimm and vorde Psalm: psalm is also just scoping the place out for good measure
Vorde: he clears his throat before speaking loudly and plainly “I, Vorde Barvotte of Antessa, have found and bring to you now, the assassins and wanted fugitives responsible for the carnage during the Elfonsent Ball but not a few nights ago” he continues a little less loudly with his brow furrowed “I bring grave news regarding their actions and future plans of attack on the city, i demand to be brought before the nobility and kings at once to relay this pertinent information immediately” the two royal guardsman in front of him pause for a moment and eyeball the group behind him bound in ropes.
Han appears to get the stink eye specifically from one of the guardsmen before the guard on the right, presumably the guard captain speaks up.
Guard Captain: “there are only 5 assassins left alive to my knowledge 'good' sire, and wasn't one of em' a lupin?” she turns her head to the other guard as if to ask for confirmation, he nods his head. Vorde: he clasps his hands together before responding “it appears you were not thorough enough in your investigation of the body then guard captain, it is of dire importance this error is rectified wouldn't you agree? as for the second question" he looks over at finn and gestures for him to bring chris rokksworth pop sensation forward Han: pop sensation chris rokksworth cant be bad! hes a star! Rokka: silly! hes just getting into his new movie role!
Finn brings Rokka forward as prompted by Vorde, reaching for Rokka’s bound hands Vorde pulls off the ring shifting his form immediately back to his lupin one.
Vorde: "These assassins are crafty wouldn't you say, hiding their faces to avoid detection." he gives you a quick look rokka that to you seems like hes saying gj bro Rokka: rokka just makes a surprised face :OOOOOOO
Satisfied, Vorde turns curtly and pushes Rokka back to where he was standing before, turning back to the guard captain. She squints at him and then quickly turns and raises her arm, ordering the nearby guardsman to examine the tied up members of the party for any weapons.
Han: han probably has all her weapons on her.... she grits her teeth over this lol, han glaring dagger into whoever has her stuff lmao Rokka: [nooo dont confiscate my swords] Keva: keva scowls as a guard approaches her and pats her down Han: eat shit copper
Orin tries to give Keva and Psalm placating looks throughout the process while not being obvious. The six members of the party have all their physical weapons removed from their persons. The guardsman on the right clears her throat seemingly satisfied with her appraisal and shouts at the guards on the walls to lift the gates, as she does Vorde gives the group a barely noticeable nod and continues speaking.
Vorde: “I must be bring them all before the nobility themselves as soon as possible, their testimony will be important for what i am to tell the royalty, i cannot explain their actions without them and the imminent threat to the city without them” Guard Captain: she responds with a curt “you want to bring assassins before the kings for a second time?” Vorde: they are bound and weaponless, they couldn't hurt more than a fly as they stand now, beaten and docile. I'm sure you’ve a great manner of ways to check before they are brought anywhere near the nobility but i stress, i must speak to them with all of the fugitives present. It is of the greatest importance
The group watch the main gates slowly rise as Vorde speaks, hearing the grunting of guards nearby as they work it open. They’re all ushered ahead by the guardsmen behind them to walk through the gates. Stepping over the threshold they feel a wash of something pass over them as they enter the perimeter of the palace before moving along.
Ghester: In the back of your head Psalm you hear Ghester make almost what sounds like a grunt of pain before hearing him whisper “....nasty enchantments in place now i see” Psalm: psalm's just looks at orin like eh could be worse, oh wait
Psalm: psalm just tries to mask cough asking ghester "are you alright?" in infernal Ghester: you hear a strained hmm as he speaks "nothing that will kill me but it shall be a persistent pain for a while i suppose, im being forcefully restrained is how i would put it. dont worry, i'll do my best to keep a watchful eye" Psalm: quietly "hmm, i wasn't that concerned about them taking my stuff but knowing that i guess i should be. although i can't really say i'm surprised they'd have you covered too." Ghester: he gives a dreary sigh Psalm: what do you want me to kiss it better? tough it out man! you're like a million years old aren't you? Ghester: he doesn't respond Psalm: * slightly concerned *
Keva: keva's gone from staring warily at the guards to staring at psalm talking to himself Han: 🤨 Psalm: psalm like why y'all staring at me Han: cant a man talk to himself every once in a while Psalm: thats what im saying
As the group walk through they all hear the guard captain Vorde is speaking to respond with a “we’ll see” before she pulls another guard over and motions for them to run ahead of the group with a message.
They quickly take off, the guard captain then turns and motions for Vorde and the entourage to follow close behind. The group are all ushered through a grand main garden, blooming flowers of yellow and blue and large plants bracket the main pathway. They feel plenty of eyes on then as they’re lead through the grounds.
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> 🎵 Dark Medieval Blues. Hurdy-Gurdy, Organ & Drum / Andrey Vinogradov
The group is pushed towards the main palace entrance doors and a grand entrance foyer, flanked by royal guardsmen as they enter. There are a number more than there were during the Ball they notice as they’re are ushered down a tall corridor to the right, the royal guardsman marching along with them the whole way.
Eventually in one of the corridors they are brought to a stop. Soon after the messenger that was sent ahead earlier rushes back, as he heaves out of breath the guard captain mutters an impatient “and…?” he stands puffing before sidling up to whisper in her ear, she makes a sour face afterwards.
Guard Captain: “You’re to be examined before i bring you before the court” she points at a nearby door “inside”
The group are once again hauled through by the guards. They find themselves led through a door to what appears to be an old and ornate looking library, though somewhat messy looking, before being ordered to sit upon a set of chairs lined up near a long wooden table.
The ceiling here is high and there are various potted plants strewn about the tall cases of old tomes, ladders with wheels on the bottom are affixed to the large wooden bookshelves. Orin seems to be looking about the large room with curiosity as if he cant help himself.
Psalm: psalm is same he's basically like "oh shit! books!!" Han: han keeps glaring at the guard who took all her shit n gritting her teeth Finn: finn also letting his eyes wander a little around the room Keva: keva also looks around and takes it all in warily
After a few minutes of waiting you all see the door open again as a woman wearing a large hat with aqua toned skin steps through, fins sprouting from her face.
Han: han briefly looks at her, then does a double take. Rokka: anxiety sky rockets
Han: han wolf whistles smh she’s a chad dont be stupid Psalm: PLEASE NO Han: NO NO AS;LKHFDLKHWADS;LKF IM KIDDING IM KIDDING Cimmorro: KVLDJSKGJSDKLG\ Han: u can keep me in these cuffs baby girl (winks) Psalm: psalm throws up Plum: [retches] Han: this is why han only gets laid when she pays Psalm: OH MY LORD WHAT A THING TO SAY LMFAO Chip: she fucks but at what cost (25 gold) Han: 25 GOLD, DAMN
The woman appears as if she's a triton, the race typically live underwater they suppose shorewater is located on the sea, not strange for the people to make their way into the politics of the country on the oceans doorstep.
Carrying papers with her they note that she appears to be formally dressed, though they aren't quite sure of her station. She moves towards the table with a nod and places the notes and items she seems to be carrying down with a quick huff and turning to the guardsman
Mardella: “I’m here to examine the accused, i shall cast a general spell then probe further if i need too” as she speaks she brushes an errant hair behind one of her fins. Han: raise ur hand if u dont wanna get zone of truth-ed Plum: I DO I DO I WANNA GET ZONE OF TRUTHED MAKE THIS NIGHTMARE END I'M INNOCENT Han: AKLDSF;LKHRAWLKHHESGDLKAW;LKJ4F all my charm spell nightmares coming to life
Mardella: turning to the three not seated she continues “I am guessing you are Vorde Barotte then?” Vorde: he gives a small bow in response “yes that is correct” Mardella: she hmms and continues “I am curious as to how you apprehended them all when the guardsman had such difficulty, but you seem to express a great desire to speak before the kings themselves so i will leave the needling for the moment” she turns back to the rest of you seated in the chairs “right then this shall take me some time”
She moves to sit at the long table and picks up the papers she was holding. Just then the group also notice she also has a quill and a pot of ink near her. She quickly gets to work drawing notes of some sort before standing.
She walks back to the 6 of them and speaks casting a spell, she seems to grip something at her neck glowing a white light for a moment before relenting. She casts the Zone of Truth of spell, affecting all of them except for Psalm and Cimmorro. Should they speak now they can only respond truthfully.
Psalm: i almost wished cimm failed that just to force him to speak properly Plum: cimm says peenus weenus fr and this woman is like, i am in the presence of a complicated mind... a puzzle box Cimmorro: JKGSDGJSG now everyone's in MY world Chip: lets start with your childhood cimmorro Cimmorro: AM I AT THERAPY? Han: YES
Mardella: she clasps her hands in front of herself and speaks "i shall ask you a series of questions, i expect you to cooperate with this process" she pauses and continues "are any you of currently under the effects of a spell, intended to deceive?" Keva: no Plum: nah Psalm: as far as i am aware, no Han: no Rokka: nope Cimmorro: nope
Han: laughs over the differences n similarities in our responses Psalm: that’s rp babey! Plum: tag urself
Mardella: she hmms and continues "are any of you still carrying weapons or contraband on your person" Han: han grits her teeth "i fucking wish" Keva: no Psalm: no Cimmorro: nope Rokka: nope :( Plum: no Cimmorro: plum sitting there thinking "is this illegal? fuck if i know" (re their pink medical potion) for 30 seconds before answering
Mardella: she continues "do you harbour ill intent towards the royalty of this country" Plum: no Keva: no Han: no Rokka: never Psalm: no Cimmorro: not yet i dont :d Plum: LFAMOGOGOO Han:;KHAS;LKDF;AWEFD Cimmorro: DONT TEST ME Chip: cimmorro cringe compilation Psalm: @ cim
Cimmorro: LKBF;DBCVB,SB.,S Han: we are all testing her patience, cimm and han 🤝 at their wits fucking end Cimmorro: they find truce. Once
Mardella: she gives you a look cimm and continues "how long ago did you arrive and shorewater, and for what purpose" Keva: 2 weeks. i’m looking for someone Plum: a few weeks ago, came here to talk to vorde Rokka: nearly a month, im just exploring Psalm: a little under two weeks. and i'm just here for a change of scenery Cimmorro: came around 2 weeks back or so. just passing by really, pilgrimaging Han: almost 5 seasons. my friend left me here to find myself
Mardella: she humms "and a final one, were you all here on the night of the Elfonsent Ball?" Han: yes Keva: yes Cimmorro: yup Psalm: yes Plum: ya Rokka: yup
Mardella: satisfied she nods and unclasps her hands "thank you for complying"
The woman walks back to the end of the table where she placed her papers and begins to draw with the ink and quill, what look like runes of a sort, whispering under her breath, they figure shes slowly casting another spell.
They sit in silence under the watch of the guardsman, about ten minutes pass before she seems to finish, a quick glow bursts from her hands and she stands once again, coming to scrutinise them all. She then slowly examines them all one by one from a distance, making her way down the line before stopping after a time, seemingly satisfied.
Mardella: “I’ve not detected anything suspicious in the way of magic for now” she stands and dusts her dress slightly “i shall go and inform the kings, lead them to the court hall once you are ready” she turns and gives Vorde a slight bow before standing and leaving the room.
Han: oh that was a detect magic not identify, i was like how is psalm not pinging - warlock pact Cimmorro: psalm big dong pinging under the radar of mommy Psalm: yeah everything about that is horrible jez Chip: psalm back on pornhub Psalm: everything about what you just said is terrible, GOD, THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME Plum: jez, jez i will beat you one day Cimmorro: Nicj9jjoflkeneje
The guard captain satisfied, motions for the guards to haul the group out of the room and back through the palace, the other three following close behind. Once more they are led through the tall corridors of the palace into a more minimalistically decorated area, though it seems everywhere in this place is covered in plush long carpets. Eventually they are all brought before a large set of double doors, taller than themselves, and brought to a stop.
The guard captain stands at attention before them all, bringing Vorde, Finn and Orin in front of the group, before turning and lightly knocking on the door. A moment passes and soon after what they assume to be a secretary of sorts sticks his head out and whispers in her ear before leaning back inside and closing the door.
Plum: [fidgeting] Rokka: [fidgeting] Han: han is stoic tense n grimacing the usual Keva: keva's like, lightly scuffing the plush carpet with a shoe as she looks around Psalm: psalm sneezes Chip: ghester doesn't say bless you
Guard Captain: she turns back to you all and speaks “You have been granted an audience with the kings, the princess, the archmage and the high arcane adviser. You will speak when spoken too and keep your hands to yourself, if i notice but a hair out of place, you're out the door. As for the rest of you-” she cranes her head “try anything again and we’ll gut you where you stand, am i clear?” Plum: i heard one of the kings is really hot, IM JK Han: KKHDA;SLKHFALKHEFDS Cimmorro: JDJFKROEDLDM so ure saying hes not? 🤔
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> 🎵 The Great Cross-Examination ~ Allegro 2015 / The Great Ace Attorney OST
The guard captain turns and pushes open the doors walking ahead. Vorde, Orin and Finn follow after her as the rest of the group are pushed along behind by the royal guardsman. They all enter what looks like a large chamber, a small set of stairs leading down into a large circle with an ornate design in its centre, tall pillars along either end. At the centre hanging over the centre of the large circle is a lit chandelier, clean in its design.
Across and up another set of stairs appears to be 5 seats, two more ornately decorated than the others, each sat upon by a person flanked by stone statues. The two kings Jermiah and Peruvus Argotts, sit in the two at the centre, flanked by princess Forrin Argott. Next to them sits a gnome in ornate garb, and the woman from earlier, Mardella.
The chamber has a set of royal guardsmen lined up on either end of the wall at attention, the group is slowly led down to the centre of the room as the guard captain in front of them speaks, head bowed low.
Psalm: A GNOME? :pogchamp: WE'VE BEEN KONGED Plum: GNOME COOL Cimmorro: DAMN TGIF THANK GNOME ITS FRIDAY Han:
Rokka: SDFCGVHBJKL Cimmorro: THANKS POKI
Guard Captain: your majesty's, i bring Vorde Barvotte of Antessa and his associates, as well as the 6 fugitives wanted for the events that occurred during the Efonsent Ball” she then steps back and aside, allowing Vorde, Finn and Orin to stand facing the court instead. “He claims to have pertinent information regarding their plans and a future plan of attack upon the city, he desired to relay this directly to the court.” The eyes of the five soon land on Vorde as he folds his arms behind his back.
Jeremiah: the king consort speaks up first “Well no need to keep us in suspense sire, speak freely. Mind we are a bit on edge at the moment so if possible it would be well for us to keep this audience brief” Turen: you hear the gnome woman speak up soon after him with a sigh “better for us to be taking no audiences at this time with the work to be done right now” Forrin: The princess responds soon after “we can't turn down any information at this time Turen, even if it ends up being a farce. Though I doubt the good sir would jeopardise himself so readily in such a precarious time, correct?” she tilts her head slightly with a glance at Vorde. Vorde: He responds with a small bow and a brief “of course your highness” Jermiah: he once again waves his hand as if prompting Vorde to begin speaking once more. Cimmorro: speak now thot Plum: plum is just listening to them say words and not absorbing any of it, just thinking i am looking at the faces of the rulers of this country right now, i wonder what my parents would think Finn: finn looking at these people like man theyre richer than us Cimmorro: we start dancing behind him, interactive presentation Han: we start doing fortnite dances Psalm: psalm is also like hmm wonder what my parents would think, how did i end up here
Vorde: standing straight again he begins “I bring important news of dire events but more notably i must stress an important detail first. The 6 fugitives behind me stand accused of heinous crimes towards the court and the sanctity of this city and country, but I've proof they were merely innocent bystanders who were used. Their faces stolen to be equipped as masks in crimes against this country” He straightens his back slightly before continuing “On my person i have a pieces of evidence that point towards the true culprits behind the attack on your persons your majesty’s, a cult known by the moniker ‘The Red Letterheads’ who deal in disgusting acts for a purpose i do not fully understand myself yet”
As Vorde speaks the group see the 5 sitting in front of him watch with rapt attention, he details the evidence they’ve all found and presents his satchel, leaving it upon the ground for examination as he speaks. The guard captain takes the satchel and walks it to the gnome Turen and Mardella who begin to examine its contents.
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> 🎵 Joint Reasoning (Type A) / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Throughout his monologue he turns to each member of the party to provide testimony or speak upon the things they have seen and encountered over the past few days to prove their innocence, and the letterheads being the true culprits before leaving the closing argument to Finn.
Han: uses her outlander feat to provide testimony explaining the groups movements precisely retracing their steps and describing the letterheads place
Psalm: persuades them that the night started with the group being either hired as vinny's bodyguards or brought along as his +1's and the reason why they chose them for doppelgangers was because they were apparently easy targets
Plum: talks about the fact that they only came to shorewater to talk to vorde and then was going to fuck off back to talornia or wherever - they say "fuck off back to" and then are like ah oops
Keva: say she was talking with silversoul and was in his vicinity during the attack, so she saw him stabbed and wasn't around vinny who her doppelganger was seen stabbing bc she was across the ballroom - [ psalm jumps in on keva's point to say that he had seen the letterhead member that stabbed vinny before she disguised herself as keva and that they later apprehended her and got information out of her ]
Rokka: mentions that he was speaking to vorde with han and plum at the ball, BRO IM JUST A JOCK
Cimmorro: speaks precisely about the methods of necromancy the group saw, including the undead zombies and the blood clones.
Finn: for the closing statement he emphasises keva’s testimony re:gintama and cimmorro’s regarding the blood clones. Tying that in with the evidence the group have and making it clear that the real perpetrators have pressing motives that need to be investigated with utmost urgency
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> 🎵 The Old Bailey ~ Closing Argument / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Finn eventually closes out the argument, nervously taking a breath as he finishes speaking. In front of them the group watch as the court thinks of the things the party has relayed, most of them with their brows furrowed.
Psalm: i hope this turns into a "glad we brought him!" situation Cimmorro: PLZ 🥺
Peruvus: finally he speaks up “So this is true then? I had suspicions this was part of a greater plot but it appears to have become all the truer with every word you’ve spoken.” Jeremiah: “The inconsistencies within your testimony make sense if the culprits were in fact doppelgangers, a cult hmm” looking at you Finn he continues "you said his name was Theyord?” Han: han zones out for a sec and then goes "i believe he also went by ansam?" Finn: finn pulls down his scarf slightly. "Indeed. But my uncle has a better account of this, if you do not mind him relaying it in my place." and just. eyeballs vorde. motioning for him to take over. Cimmorro: this is finn the whole time but crying
Vorde: Yes, your majesty, i think in a previous life he may have gone by the name Ansam, i'm unsure of its relevance at the moment Jeremiah: at that he seems to think for a moment before frowning and putting a hand to his face to think, not speaking after. Turen: next to him the archmage speaks up “This tome is certifiably filled with black magic, the kind you often dont see used on the material plane by living creatures because of how complicated the runes are. If this cult's patron is Mephisto then that is most certainly where they got these litany of spells, he just gives them out to anyone who asks now? This devil gives me a headache…” she turns towards the three standing members of royalty before continuing “i can confirm the contents of this tome are indeed teemed toward necromancy and mind control, it may explain a few things. The enchantments on these items feel like the scratchings of the desperate” she looks over at you cimmorro "seems he knows what hes talking about" Cimmorro: cimm just looks back at them like <:3c
Keva and Han attempt to study the king consort’s reaction to the name Ansam but dont get much aside from the fact that he recognises it, theyre unsure how affected he is right now by its mention. Han does note that the 5 seem to be seriously considering the groups argument, seems Finn’s closing argument was quite strong.
Psalm also thinks now and considers if he’s heard the name Ansam before, he thinks that perhaps faintly he may have heard it somewhere back home, thinking that it sounds like it could be the name of tiefling. Though he doesnt get much else. Soon after Cimmorro is praised Mardella once again speaks up
Mardella: “i do not think they're lying about the stolen faces, we had the suspicion already. Once we removed the ring upon the corpse in the palace it changed its face completely, it's of the same make as the one I hold now” she twirls the disguise ring around in the light. “Your majesty’s, your highness, i too can confirm the authenticity of these items as Turen just did” Forrin: at this she responds, lifting her arm slightly, beckoning towards the guard captain “as a gesture of trust, i’d like you to remove their bindings as they stand before us captain”
Quickly bowing, the guard captain walks over to the group of six, Orin, Finn and Vorde drop the ropes as she quickly cuts each member free one by one, their hands allowed to roam as they please. Other royal guards step forward to take the ropes and remove them from the hall as the king begins to speak once more.
Peruvus: “I'm going to choose to believe the events you’ve just relayed to us to be truth, in which case I apologise for the rough treatment you’ve no doubt undergone in place of our true culprits. It must not have been easy gathering all of this information.” He turns to you Finnian, and continues “earlier your group said there was an immediate dire threat facing us, can you explain? Or was this also part of the farce to gain an audience with us” he clasps his hands over his knees as he speaks, leaning forward slightly “we’ve upped the city’s defences somewhat since the assassination attempts and the return of our archmage, but there have been unusual happenings i've noticed over the past day. I’d like to know what you can tell me and if you’ve any further leads” Psalm: If I may, what are these 'unusual happenings' you're referring to? Peruvus: he shits his attention over towards you psalm and responds "The mayor caused a great hullabaloo at the government ward gates, it appears as if he started a fist fight with all the nearby guardsmen out of the blue. None were eager to bring him down as he was already still injured from the Ball’s events" he rubs the bridge of his nose as if beleaguered "Similarly a cleric from the church of Heiron was seen pounding on the gates in the church district soon after his recovery within his own church's walls, he resisted any attempts from the guardsman to calm him and had to be restrained..." Keva: keva frowns @ news abt panaver Han: han tsks kind of to herself
Psalm: I see. Well going off what we know so far the cult has the ability to both disguise themselves, but their leader can temporarily possess the followers as well. The cleric is one of the wounded from the night of the ball, so that at least explains his breakdown. Keva: "silversoul" keva says, quieter than she usually speaks Psalm: sorry what was that Keva: keva huffs and says louder "his name was panaver silversoul. he was the one i was talking to." Han: we think who was stabbed, is who can be controlled by theyord Finn: "It was not a farce. Our investigation has proven that the Letterheads have been preparing to perform a ritual. Perhaps some sort of summoning. The language they used suggested serious danger. Tightened defenses or not, Shorewater is vulnerable." Finn sighs and closes his eyes for a second. "it might be of interest for you to know that they possess portals that lead to various different places in Shorewater, possibly outside of it." Psalm: With that being said, we don't really have the specifics of the 'dire' event the letterheads have planned. But for the most part they seem intent on 'punishing' Shorewater. Oh, and they plan to carry out this punishment within the next few days. Plum: i'd give us less than two days. Psalm: If even so much. We did however, infiltrate their base, so assuming they haven't left we know the whereabouts and have an idea of what it's like inside
Cimmorro: is finn still wearing all of his layers during the entirety of this Finn: yes Cimmorro: perfect, he's just waddling around while explaining things
Forrin: ...a large scale attack… we’ll need Turen to scour that tome for any sort of spell that might indicate to what exactly they’re attempting, perhaps that Accord wizard might assist us. We must further up the guard presence along the walls and call a lockdown perhaps.. Jeremiah: perhaps we ought evacuate the city entirely, though I wonder if we’d have enough time, if we were caught while people are outside their homes en masse it could worsen the situation entirely… Mardella: i think a lockdown would be a better course of action, if we set about activating the city wide enchantments quickly the people would be safer inside their homes than out Jeremiah: he nods in response “hmm this is true, we’ll need to expend all our effort into organising the guard as quickly as possible more than we already have, we ought to bulk up the church and government ward gates specifically as well. Its good to know we've a location to crack down on then as well. We ought to arrange a group of guardsman and mages to flush them out post hate as well..
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> 🎵 Joint Reasoning: The Great Deduction (Type B) / The Great Ace Attorney OST
Forrin calls over the guard captain and the secretary seated at the desk close by and begins relaying orders for them to begin sending out along with Peruvus. Jeremiah however continues to address the group as they do.
Jeremiah: Travellers and esteemed Barvottes. I King Consort Jeremiah, am now asking formally for your aid in this time of crisis, we are stretched thin and with not knowing what to expect the city needs as much help and eyes as we can give her. You will be compensated greatly for helping the city of Shorewater, and the country of Dorrin itself in its coming time of crisis. As well as for the hardships you have already endured, is there a name I might refer to you all as going forward?” Vorde: he turns his head at you all expectantly afterwards as well.
Cimmorro: wow even on dnd we quarantine Chip: social distancing to save from cults Psalm: damn jeremiah if you're asking like that... 👉👈 Cimmorro: jeremiah stan club Plum: sir can i get your autograph
The group then scramble to decide on a name, quickly forming a group huddle amongst themselves.
Cimmorro: cimm does a poor attempt to huddle us all up and goes "lets just go with peenus weenus" Plum: whispering heatedly "shut up cimm shut up" Psalm: sure why not, i'm sure whatever dignity we have left doesn't matter anymore right? Han: tries not to choke
Finn: finn coughs uncomfortably at cimm's suggestion. "we could simply refer to ourselves as a strike force." Han: do we even have anything that makes us one Psalm: vinny's strike force... to honour him since he's dead. /s Cimmorro: the brokebacks Plum: SHUTGUUPPGPF
Cimmorro: while everyone is debating i just walk up to the king and goes like we're the vengaboys - "your majesty i present to you the vengaboys" Jeremiah: he looks towards you cimmorro and tilts his head "vengaboys? i see, well then Vengaboys-" and he turns to the rest of you all "i would like to ask again for finality's sake, do you have any more possible leads at the moment?" Cimmorro: i turn back to everyone and gives a thumbs up Psalm: psalm gives a thumbs up back Vorde: [internally] tf does venga mean Psalm: TF DOES VENGA MEAN Chip: vengeance boys... Cimmorro: ^ Keva: boys for vengeance Finn:
Psalm responds afterwards, informing the king consort that the only one they have would be the hideout as they’ve never met Theyord in person, Han emphasising only when hes possessed someone. He also brings up the notes in the back of the book, noting Shelly’s name and that she may be in possible danger.
Keva: i step a little closer to psalm and say "tell them about those people we ran into down there" Psalm: psalm just folds his arms and does what keva asks Keva: YYYEEAAAAHHH
Han: when theres a pause han also asks "what about the assassin that you caught? who are they?" Jeremiah: he looks over at you "they weren't caught per say, the guards struck them right in the ballroom before they could strike at us, dead in seconds." he thinks "we examined the body of course but as far as we could tell they weren't a Shorewater native, i dont think they were from Dorrin originally either. The most we could glean was they had a brand upon their back in the shape of a symbol once we removed the disguise”
Forrin then returns her attention to the conversation at hand, seemingly her and her brother Peruvus have finished issuing orders for the moment, having been paying attention to the ongoing conversation.
Peruvus: “We shall work on the assignment of the guardsmen across the city and deciphering all we can from the tome you’ve given us, as well as bolster the city's magic defences, and declare a lockdown. Once you return from investigating Shelly Carter’s abode I would ask you to assist us directly in these tasks. At the most i can spare some guardsmen to assist you in this endeavour, it would be best i think to send one of the captains in charge of the arcana district to help your investigation. I will send word for you to meet them at the district gates, it would be best for us to move as quickly as possible” Turen: in response to this archmage stands “if i am no longer needed your majesty i shall consort with Mardella and the witch from the accord, my workload has suddenly increased tenfold” she rolls her shoulders as if gearing up for a fist fight.
Jeremiah nods and waves her and Mardella off, the two stand and leave the room via one of the large doors, finally him and the other two royals stand
Jeremiah: “The royal guardsman shall escort you off the palace grounds and send word across the city that you aren't to be approached in your travel, should you require any food or rest before you head off you may use one of the rooms in the palace. The guardsmen will direct you.” Peruvus: “return as soon as you are able, we’ve not a moment to waste” Psalm: I don't speak for everyone here, but as it's still early in the day I don't think we'll be here for long before heading onto our next task Peruvus: looks towards you psalm and nods "of course, whatever suits you for the moment" He looks back towards Vorde addressing him directly "thank you again for your aid in this time from your family, sire Barvotte, it shall not be forgotten. As well as for you, Vengaboys, may we meet to discuss what comes next soon with higher hopes"
The royal guard captain stands and rises as the royals give the group a small courteous bow which Vorde returns doubly so. The party and co. are ushered back out of the doors of the grand courthall their names now clear, their next task pressing on their minds....
--
Notes
🦇Finn succeeded the debate skill challenge very epic
🍺 Plum drank the「 Red Potion ✨ 」who knows how long they’ll have red hair for...
-「 ��4 Poison Daggers ✨ 」-「 a Branding Rod ✨ 」-「 a Red Tome ✨ and -「 2 Letterhead Tokens ✨ 」 were handed over to the Court as evidence
- ITS NOON - 33 HOURS UNTIL - 📜🩸 The Reckoning 🩸📜 - (supposedly)
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Friends to Lovers w/ Eric (tbz)
Request: Anon - Ok uuuh I’ve never requested before so idk how to word all this but could you maybe write some Eric (the boyz) catching feelings for his best friend and him trying to ask her out ?? And maybe like the other 00 liners making fun of him for being all soft :( I’m sorry I’m trash at explaining stuff <3 Have a wonderful day A/N: Thank you for requesting! im sorry that this isnt the best but i tried ! Warnings: mild angst & swearing
*He looks so teeny tiny in this gif ouchies my heart*
you and Eric had been friends for literally your whole lives
all of your childhood memories had him in them
running around the back yard? Eric was right behind you
Learning how to ride a bike? This dude was the reason you had the courage to do it
So it was no surprise to everyone that all throughout school you stayed friends
Joined at the hip every second you could be
In class you would sit together and help each other with the work
Of course you had your other friends, 11 of them who were all part of Eric’s band they called ‘The Boyz’
They accepted you into their group with open arms
Most nights after school were spent in the practice room with them
Watching them dance and run around
Eric always tried to get you involved but that’s a big, fat, nope
But you literally had the best, best friend
So, like every other day you’re sat at the lunch table waiting for Eric to get out of his class while you sat with Sunwoo and Hyunjoon
“You coming stargazing with us tonight?” Sunwoo asks as he shoves a few grapes into his mouth
“Of course, I’ll bring some food if you guys want as well?” you replied
This wasn’t uncommon for you all, to go sit on Kevin’s roof with blankets and snacks and just look at the stars
“Is Eric coming too?” You ask because let’s face it everything's more fun with him around
“OoOOoooOOOOoooOOh ‘Is Eric coming too?’ oOOooOo” Hyunjoon teases, nudging your arm
“Ah fuck off you know it’s not like that, we’ve been friends forever! I can’t go anywhere without him now”
They both continued to tease and nudge you around until you saw Eric walking over
As per the routine, you got up and met him halfway across the hall for a massive hug
“Hey! What’s up? You’re bright red?” He asks after hugging you
“Ohhh nothing, just dumb and dumber trying to steal my last brain cell” you giggle as you both settle into your seats
Eric draping his arm round your shoulders like he always does
Sunwoo giving you a sly smirk like he a l w a y s does when you and Eric even look at each other
It wasn’t hard to understand why everyone gave you these looks
Most people assumed you were together
Even some of your family had suspicions because of how close you two were
but you could only dream...
This little crush you had started mid teens and had persisted ever since
Now it was nearing the end of school and here you were, hopelessly in love
Honestly it had just become a normal part of your life by now and that was okay, as long as you had him with you being your best friend. It was okay
“You’re coming to Kevins tonight yeah?” Eric mumbles into your ear
Resisting the urge shiver you simply nod and turn away and continue to listen to the bickering of the boys
After that the day goes on peacefully, Eric walks you to class and kisses your forehead before jogging to his own class
The bus journey home you guys sit together and share earphones, taking it in turns to choose a song
“I’ll see you later yeah?” You ask as you both get off the bus at your stop
“Yeah I might be a bit late though, I’ve got some things to get done beforehand” he replies, throwing his bag over his shoulders
“Alright, I’ll see you later then!” you start to wave goodbye and of course, as per usual he brings you in for a hug and to kiss your forehead
and yet again your heart swells and you inwardly scream because why not your lips hm?
Later that evening Sangyeon picks you up, with Sunwoo and Haknyeon already in the car
Sunwoo on the aux playing some random country music to annoy everyone
It’s an amazing night to stargaze, you get to Kevins just at the end of sunset where the sky is mostly dark but a lilac hue still coats the edges of the sky
The stars already sparkling
Kevins roof was your favourite place to be as he lived at the top of a hill, meaning the view of the city below could be seen
As well as the roof itself having a large flat bit for everyone to cosy up together
Most of the group are already there setting up blankets and pillows and the speaker
As expected Eric wasn’t there yet so you just dumped out all the snacks you gathered next to the speaker and went to speak to the host
“Did Eric tell you what he had to do tonight?” you ask, watching Kevin struggle to smooth out a massive blanket
“Yes but I’m not telling you, it’s a secret” he replies
“Why? What is it?” your heart starting to race
Did he have a girlfriend? Was he keeping her a secret? Was he bringing her tonight?
Yes, that’s where your mind goes because, well every girl in the school would be lucky to have him
“Y/N calm down he’s gone to get something for tonight, don’t worry he’s still your mans but not really your mans” he smirks, patting the top of your head and walking away
You just stand there blinking before realising what he even said, leading you to pursue him to where everyone was sat already
“He’s not my ‘mans’ Kevin we all know he’s got every girl in the school whipped for him” you sigh, plopping yourself next to Jacob
who was munching on some chips
“Y/N you’re kidding right?” Sunwoo smirks while Hyunjoon giggles lightly and nods
“No I’m not, I’m honestly surprised he hasn't got a girlfriend already...” you mumble
The sad truth being explained to your friends hurt but it wasn’t hard to see, he wasn’t in love with you
“He has THE biggest crush on you Y/N how do you not see it?”
You look up from your lap to see everyone nodding in agreement
Who knew your friends would play such a prank on you
“This isn’t funny guys, you’re just teasing and it’s painful so please can we just change the subject?”
lets be real it would always hurt knowing how everyone could see how in love you were but how obviously he wasn't
“Seriously, everyday we see him he talks about how cute you look or how smart you are and how he can’t wait to show you this dance because he wants to impress you” Hyunjoon giggles while Changmin over dramatically nods
“and how you smell nice all the time” Sunwoo adds rolling his eyes
“they boy’s whipped for you” Hyunjoon continues
“It’s almost annoying how literally no one exists when you’re around because he’s so focused on you”
Your heart has literally stopped
Because ??? Eric???? liking you????
“Right let’s quit the teasing because we weren’t even meant to tell her so now you’re gonna have to explain to him about this” Sangyeon scolds the younger ones
You just lay back into the pillows still not computing
They have to be lying? He’s never shown any interest in you?
You hear them still laughing about how your face looks when you’re shocked
Jacob leans over to whisper “just ignore them, they’re rooting for you”
You’re just lying on the roof, looking up to the sky with butterflies bursting your stomach and your heart beating like crazy in your chest when you hear Kevins bedroom window open
“Hey guys, sorry I was late” Eric bursts through the window “I was just getting a few things”
Everyone greets him but you stay silent, looking up at the sky because you were just TOO nervous to say anything
“You okay?” He asks you, laying down next to you and propping his head on his arm
“Yeah! Just looking at the stars” your voice betraying your panic
He just nods and rolls over to lie on his back next to you
The night goes on as normal, everyone chatting, listening to music and enjoying the view
You hop in the conversation every once in a while but the others seem to understand why you’re being more quiet
Eric hardly speaks to you but never leaves your side, just lying next to you also in his in thoughts
“What’s up?” You whisper to him after a while
“Just thinking about stuff” He whispers back shifting to lay on his side to look at you
You look into his eyes and he looks,,, nervous?
“What you thinking about?” you ask, shifting to mirror his position
“It’s nothing don’t worry Y/N” He replies shaking his head
“You know you can tell me anything Eric we’re best friends...”
At this he sighs even more and stands up
“What? What did I do?” You also stand
He’s already climbing back through Kevins window
Naturally you follow, heart beating out of your chest at the thought of Eric being upset with you
“Seriously whats wrong? Why can’t you tell me?” You follow him into the room
“Because if I tell you we can’t be friends and it’ll all go wrong so it’s better if I don’t say anything”
“Why? We’re best friends we’ve always told each other everything whats changed?”
“Will you please stop saying that?” He almost shouts and spins around to face you
You’ve never seen him this upset before
Sunwoo and Hyunjoon were wrong, he doesn't love you he doesn't even want to be friends anymore
“Y-y-y-you don’t want to be friends with me anymore?” You splutter out, tears already brimming in your eyes
They were so wrong and they couldn't have said what they did at a worse time, giving you that small bubble of hope in your chest for it to be crushed an hour later
“It’s not that I just....” he trails off, wringing his hands nervously
“Then what Eric?” You burst into tears, heart almost breaking in that moment
“Y/N I love you. Fuck. I’m sick of hiding it and being teased all the time for not having the courage to tell you. I fucking love you”
The tears didn't stop when you rushed over and wrapped your arms around his neck
Standing on your tiptoes to hug him you felt his arms wrap around your waist
You both just stood there holding each other
His erratic breathing indicating he’s crying too
“I love you too Eric, so much, for so long”
You just stayed put in his arms, him stroking the back of your head
“I didn’t believe them when they told me...” you giggle while pulling away to look at him
His eyes just go so wide
“They did what?” He yelped
“Oh they told me all about how you talk about me all the time and how whipped you are” you giggle even more
The look on his face just makes you laugh harder
“I’m going to kill them” he growls and charges back through the window
You just smile and follow him onto the roof where everyone was just laughing and nudging Eric around
“So he’s finally confessed!” Jacobs asks you grinning from ear to ear
“It’s about time, now we don’t have to spend every dance practice brainstorming ways to get him to do it” Sunwoo laughs, earning a slap from Eric
Once the teasing died down Eric joined your side leaning against the wall by Kevins window
“So does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” He asks
And despite the dark you can tell his cheeks are dusted pink
“Of course I will, but what did you need to go get earlier than meant you were late?”
“Oh,” he wriggled to grab a small packet from his pocket “I was going to confess to you tonight and I bought you this”
Handing you the packet you open it to find a dainty necklace
Silver with a small heart pendant on it
“Eric this is so cute but you didn’t have to buy me something to confess to me” you blush, heart feeling so full it could burst
“I know but I thought it would help” his smile is so bright and warm
He helps you put on the necklace and the night ends with you falling asleep cuddled into his arms admiring the view
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My 14x13 Opinion
Lebanon The 300th Episode
I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along.
It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.
The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky.
I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right?
Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!
The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes! My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show,
Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had.
While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it.
After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.
The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎
This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times!
Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.
Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene!
Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it.
The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream.
Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!!
Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.
In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!
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another bullshit meme
from sidebloggable
answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough
and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently
Their physical weak spots
Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him.
Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.
Their emotional/moral weak spots
Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess
Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.
Scars or painful spots
Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.
Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face.
Best places to kiss on their body
Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.
Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.
Guilty pleasures
Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know
Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty
Their vices (physical or emotional)
Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke
Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney
Their tickle spots
Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.
Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms.
Bad memories/experiences
Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.
Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman
Humiliating memories
Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others.
Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares
Fears/phobias
Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination
Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you
Bad or petty habits
Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it.
Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly
Grudges and vendettas
Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.
Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man.
Ingrained habits/forces of habit
Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.
Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.
What it takes to make them cry
Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.
Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street.
Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’
Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.
Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton.
People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them
Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.
Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely
People who’ve influenced them greatly
Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him
Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.
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Philinda & Timelines
I wrote most of this in a more disorganized form a few months back, but now I’ve fleshed it out and done some more calculations. I hope it might be interesting to fans of these characters or useful for those who write fic for them. I personally like to have some dates and characterization timelines to look at when writing fics set in a “real world” type show, so I generally keep some notes for myself in word docs. Here I just kinda dove into it.
I don’t go into plot timeline details here because I just don’t care. Marvel does an incredibly shit job of taking travel time and medical times into account. They can try and convince me something happened in two weeks, but I’m always going to ignore it. This uses info from the show itself and from an online date calculator. I am mostly not pulling from the various wikis. The wikis are great for trivia, but they are massively self-contradictory due to tie-in comics, stuff said in various interviews, etc. It’s Marvel. [Edited 03/20 to finally include workable theories for Captain Marvel]
*
Phil Coulson was born July 8, 1964. This makes his sun sign Cancer and his Chinese zodiac year the Dragon. He was an active and outgoing kid who wished he had a brother to play with. His dad died or was killed in 1973. Coulson was only 9 years old. They’d either finished restoring Lola together earlier that year or in 1972. It is implied in season 2 that he and his mother moved after the death, either to a different part of the town or somewhere else entirely as he did not attend the high school his father worked at. Coulson finished high school and went to college to study history, both because that was the subject his dad taught and because he was always a giant history nerd. He worked as a lifeguard as a teenager. We do not know anything about his mother’s work or their relationship when she was alive. A research project into the S.S.R. brought him to Shield’s attention. He was recruited from college by Nick Fury, an agent at the time.
Melinda May was born November 20, 1965 (a reference from the scanned back-page of a tie-in comic I cannot find again - Fury’s Secret Files from somewhere I think). Obviously, they’ve just used Ming’s birthday with a different year to parallel the actors. Her birth location is always listed as classified, so it’s possible her mother was involved with something for the CIA at the time. Her sun sign is Scorpio and her birth year in the Chinese zodiac is the snake. May always picked up new physical activities quickly according to her dad in S3. She started ice-skating at 7 and quickly began skating competitively. At 12 she switched from skating to martial arts. May has a trusting relationship with both her parents. We don’t know anything about when they seemingly separated, decided to live separately for Reasons, or got divorced. There is around a year unaccounted for between when she most likely graduated high school and when she likely joined Shield. She might have joined against her mother’s wishes. We know nothing of how she was recruited.
Star Wars Episode IV came out in May of 1977. Coulson was 12 and May was 10. This is totally relevant information.
These dates mean May is just shy of two years younger than Coulson. More precisely, Coulson is 17 months older.
We know they were at the Academy together (Comms and Ops shared some classes and electives) and graduated at the same time because of 2x4. Comms and Ops would have been in different facilities, though reasonably close together for logistics purposes. There would be a significant amount of overlap for field agent hopefulls. They probably wouldn’t have seen each other every day. They probably usually saw each other multiple times a week, depending on their classes.
They also shared classes with future Agent Blake and Agent Garrett. (It’s important to remember that Agents Hand, Hartley, Sitwell, and Hill are younger in the MCU and did not attend the Academy until the previous four Agents had already left.)
From common practices in American educational law, Coulson very likely started school (kindergarten) in the fall of 1969 (at 5). He would have graduated in 1982 and started college that fall. It is also possible he started school in 1970 (at 6) and graduated in 1983. May likely started school in 1971 at 5 and would have graduated in spring 1984 at 18 or she possibly started school at 1970 at 4 and graduated in 1983 at 17. (At the time, starting kindergarten at 4 years old was common if you would be turning 5 soon. Start ages were lower in the 70s.)
Here’s where a couple different things could have happened.
I’m going to move forward here with the (imo) more likely graduation ages for them both. These aren’t official. These events could have happened a year earlier or a year later, but anything more than that would be very unlikely.
It’s spring 1984. Coulson just finished his sophomore year of college and is about to turn 21. May just graduated high school at 18.
We know the Shield Academies at this point were legitimate in the eyes of the U.S. Government, though mostly under the radar. There was enough of a structured curriculum schedule in place we know they had a yearbook (as of season 5). Taking on recruits under 18 generally requires parental permission, as Shield is still paramilitary.
Option 1 - Coulson’s research has already drawn Shield’s attention and he is approached by Fury. Someone recruits May or she becomes aware of Shield some other way. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1984. They are 21 and 18 when they join.
Option 2 - Coulson continues through his junior year of college. His research into the S.S.R. draws Shield’s attention. Fury goes to recruit him. May spends a year doing any number of things. Her mother might want her to pursue the CIA. May picks Shield. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1985. They are 22 and 19 when they join.
Option 3 - Coulson is about to finish college when he draws the attention of Shield and is recruited by Fury. May is an unknown for two years. They start at the Shield academies fall of 1986. They are 23 and 20 when they join.
Star Trek IV (the whale movie) came out in November of 1986. Coulson was 23 and May was just 21. This is also totally relevant information.
Let’s say MCU Shield’s training program lasted 3-4 years. (Fitzsimmons strongly implied in season 1 Seeds that Scitech usually took about four years.)
The absolute earliest (3 years) May and Coulson (and Garrett) should have been in the field was 1987/1988/1989. Their most likely brand-new Level 1 Agent year was 1988/1989/1990.
Coulson and May were most likely Level 1 agents at 23 and 21/24 and 22/25 and 23.
The Sausalito mission mentioned in episode 2x4 probably happened later in 1988/1989/1990.
John Garrett, who they were trained with, was injured in Sarajevo and became a Project Deathlok subject in 1990. He probably was only Level 2. He’d only been an agent 2-3 years maximum.
We knew from season 1 that Coulson’s mom Julie was long gone. The wiki puts her death as September 22, 1992, exactly 19 years after her husband’s death. Coulson was only 28.
This is where I take issue with one of the semi-official dates. Big issue.
We got a flashback to a younger Agent Coulson and Agent May in season 4. May was a Level 3 specialist and Coulson was recently Level 4. We know they knew each other pretty well at that point, enjoyed each other’s company, and also frequently went weeks or months without seeing each other. They worked on missions separately and together and kept track of each other through company gossip. It’s at this point in their lives that a little, badly-kept-secret, mutual crush is going on that is ultimately not pursued for multiple reasons. They stay close friends and work partners for the next 10-15 ish years.
Parts of the wiki claims this flashback was to 2003. However, this is basically a retcon and in my oh so professional and classy-sounding opinion is just dumber than fuck. (Also, that date was never used in the episode.)
The absolute latest Coulson and May started as field agents was 1990. So *13 years* later they’re still Level 3? I don’t think so. Level 1 is your entry level. Anyone who is performing well is only going to stay there 1-3 years max. Level 2 is your no longer a noob level. If you’re doing great work let’s say people stay there 2-5 years. Agents would stay longer in Levels 3/4/5 than Levels 1 and 2.
Let’s be generous and give them 5 years at Levels 1 and 2. It could have easily been 4, maybe even 3 depending on how fast they got their groove after the whole “in the bay for five hours” thing. Coulson and May logically made it to Level 3 anywhere around 1993/1994/1995.
The Captain Marvel movie makes dubious use of existing aos canon, but if we use the perspective that Phil is a brand new Level 3 field agent instead of one fresh out of the Academy (which is completely incompatible with aos’s timeline) than we can say Phil and May were new level 3 agents sometime early in 1995.
A sensible placement for the Russian 0-8-4 mission would be anywhere from late 1995-1997. With Phil having recently made Level 4 (strongly implied the the flashback), I would suggest 1996 or 1997 as the most likely placement.
From the tie-in comics, MCU Agent Barton is recruited by Nick Fury around this same time, Agent Romanoff “recruited’ by him a few years later.
By 2003, both Coulson and May should have advanced a Level again and be taking on more complex missions. Strike Team Delta is part of Shield now. Fury is Director.
The Bahrain mission happened in 2008. Coulson was likely a Level 6 operative and May would be Level 5. Coulson took a lot of orders from a lot of people in episode 2x17. I highly doubt he was Level 7 at that point. The agent in charge of the operation, Agent Hart, was one of the ones Katya took over. Big Shield headquarters forbade Coulson from sending May into the building. He gave her the clear to go anyway and covered for her. May was 42. Coulson was 43 or 44.
May worked on administration for mostly Level 3s in the basement of the Triskelion for the next 4.5 years. This does not mean she became a lower ranking agent; you would likely want a higher-than-3 managing your level 3s.
Coulson is sent to make contact with Tony Stark later in 2008. At some point he advances to Level 7 then 8. Given Shield viewed the Bahrain rescue as a legendary success, not knowing how it unfolded, it is reasonable to think Coulson was promoted to 7 shortly afterwards.
Coulson died on the Helicarrier on May 4th, 2012 during The Incident. He was 47. May was 46 when she found out he was dead.
When we met them in season 1, Coulson was recently 49 (technically…) and May was 47. May is a Level 7 agent and Coulson remains Level 8.
After season 5 they are on a beach in Tahiti. Coulson is 54 and May is 52. They’ve known each other 34/33/32 years.
*
Now, I’ve tried to structure this whole thing in a way that should you want to change their school-dates and use any of the three options you should be able to go through and add/subtract from the existing numbers pretty easily. So I hope that’s useful if you’ve been trying to math and write fic or if there’s just been general confusion.
I greatly prefer to write from the Option 2 set, with adjustments made for Captain Marvel. That just makes the most sense to me as far as events we know about from season one and the other life events for these characters. So if you’ve read any of my stuff, this is generally where I’m coming from.
I really hope this was useful and interesting. I spent far too much time on it.
#agents of shield#aos meta#philinda#phil coulson#melinda may#john garrett#loooong damn meta#omfg#why did i do this to myself#nevermind#i know why#and i will never admit how much of this i was able to write from memory#though I've double checked everything since#and#only a year later than planned#i've finally updated it for captain marvel tie in info lol#pinned now because i think this'll stay relevant for s7
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