#ive got people thinking im sixteen in my asks

[bird-prince-art]

I just need to make sure you guys know I’m a whole ass adult with a job and bills who thinks there’s something concerning going on between obi-wan and anakin before you follow me

[schmafs]

happy webcomic day! my comic, where the heart is, is still running over at @wthicomic and on comicfury! it's been a real joy to work on it so far and im very excited to keep going with it :)

that aside, here are some webcomics ive been enjoying the past few months! check em out, tell a friend–itll really make someones day!

dead or alive “Wanted alive for fraud, Clay is on the run. Blackbell is wanted dead for 13 counts of murder. The two meet in the town of Nowhere as they attempt to evade capture. When secrets from their pasts come back to haunt them, Blackbell and Clay soon find out their paths are more intertwined than they initially thought.”

(action, western)

dead or alive is a western with incredibly charming characters and a fun adventure overall! im so interested in some characters’ backstories (namely blackbell). i know it’s gonna go so hard…

arc of the spark “Bangaroo, a hot contender in the Spark Wrestling League, seeks to bring his lost family back together by wrestling his way to money and fame. The league has other plans for him however, as he unwittingly finds himself tangled up in its dubious, shady underbelly.”

(action, mystery)

a fun story that, to me, is reminiscent of saturday morning cartoons! great character designs and phenomenal action sequences.

it’s all a dream in the end “A catlike protagonist wakes up to find themselves asleep, and meets a colorful cast on their journey to waking up; a clown, some talking meat, a dream copy of her younger brother, and a rabbit that claims to be in the same never-ending-dream situation. Along the way, she learns to trust people she should, fear things she should fear, and maybe just enjoy the moment sometimes as she moves from dream to dream.”

(horror, surreal, marked tws for blood, violence, and strong language)

this comic is recently finished, and boy is it a neat time. the surreal (and, well. dreamlike) elements in it are really fun and well thought out and it’s a comic i keep meaning to reread so that i can see all the bits of foreshadowing the author laid out towards the beginning of the comic. great color schemes overall, too!

phantomarine “Phantomarine is a spooky-but-sweet fantasy webcomic about a ghostly princess and her perilous journey across a haunted sea, hoping to save her soul from a devious, shapeshifting death god known as the Red Tide King. Expect all manner of maritime mysteries – monstrous sea creatures, sacred lighthouses, strange afflictions, accursed marauders, feuding gods, grand sea battles, and a heaping helping of humor in-between!”

(fantasy, adventure)

im not quite sure where to begin with phantomarine because it’s just that good. bursting with heart and with beautiful scenes and color palettes overall. the worldbuilding in it is also very well thought out (particularly with regard to the religion of the world).

maladious “It’s 2002, and sixteen-year-old Julian Lewis has just debuted as the newest member of Olympos, America’s premiere superhero team. Admittedly, he's kind of terrible at his job–-but he’s got the heart of a hero and the best mentors he could ask for.

However, when a mission to intervene with a low-tier villain attack reveals that an old foe isn’t quite as dead as he’s supposed to be, Olympos must untangle a web of new enemies and old ghosts in what is undoubtedly their greatest challenge yet.”

(horror, action, thriller, rated 16+)

maladious is another comic with a charming art style, but i think the most interesting thing about it by far is the mystery the author is cultivating. i can tell they’re cooking something, but i don’t know what yet and i want to stick around to find out!

invincea and the warriors from hell “Orphaned and mute from infancy, Invincea has never had an easy life. But when what little she still has in a world that rejects her is violently torn away, she sets out to find justice.

Lost and wounded, she soon meets the mysterious bard Lon Quillow, and together they are catapulted into a cross-country string of adventures bringing them closer together as they learn about humanity, empathy, and the deep desire of all people to be understood and accepted.

What has been lost can be found again…”

(fantasy, adventure)

i absolutely adore invincea. the characters are all incredibly charming and the art style is delightful to look at and very reminiscent of cartoon saloon’s work! im so curious about where the story’s going to go next!

tiger, tiger “Tiger, Tiger is a story of a young noble lady, who steals her brother's identity and his ship to sail across the world to find love and adventure, and to write a book about her favourite subject: the fascinating life cycle of sea sponges!”

(fantasy, adventure)

this is one ive been reading for a while! once again, the characters are all very charming, likable, and authentic in a way i cant quite explain. absolutely gorgeous grayscale art in this one.

golden shrike “Something has shifted in the world. Sheltered deer twins, Runi and Nero, will get to see it all unfold.”

(fantasy, adventure)

the author consistently draws these beautiful natural scenes with equally beautiful colors, and i really enjoy the lore theyve put together about the deer world!

starbord: the journey home “In a part of the universe alien to them, all that Zachary Higgins and J.C. Coleman want is to get back to Earth. There's only one problem: nobody's ever heard of a planet called "Earth". Stuck with an experimental spacecraft and trapped in a galaxy teetering on the brink of total war, they'll turn to unlikely friends and face uncanny foes in their journey home.”

(action, science fiction, adventure)

going back to the idea of authentic characters, each and every character in starbord feels authentic to me. theyre all really well written and the main characters in particular feel like people i could meet in real life. the story is also compelling!

inhibit “Victor is a resident at a home for kids who haven't yet proven that they can control their powers. With a transfer only a few weeks away, he has one last chance to prove he is capable enough to go home to a normal life. But just when he most needs things to go smoothly, everything starts to fall apart, and he finds himself tangled in the plot of a mysterious arsonist…”

(science fiction, adventure)

this one’s got some great mysteries going on, and at the moment the plot is ramping up and i seriously cant wait to see what happens next! very likable characters here, too!

a d6 story “A tale of The UnKing. As a familiar horror infiltrates Folia City, a crew of unlikely heroes must fight to save their world as they know it..”

(horror, action, science fiction)

im not sure where to begin with this comic aside from the fact that the hook is absolutely crazy. you just have to trust me on this one.

milos from home “An anxious Torchic and classically amnesiac protagonist Eevee take a shot becoming a Rescue Team. Also something's screwy with the world at large, but one step at a time.”

(fantasy, fan fiction, adventure)

this one’s a pokemon mystery dungeon fancomic, and the author has some really interesting takes on pokemon culture and interpretations of what certain pokemon look like! i care so much about each character :,) except for one. i’ve never wanted to punt a rat (dedenne) into the sun so bad in my life.

first song “10 years ago, a private company opened a portal. It went wrong. Our material plane was smashed into the land of the dead; Limbo. Spoon was at Ground zero of the explosion but survived, and now he wanders the wasteland with his guitar and the demon that inhabits it - encountering ghosts and other survivors on a quest to return to his childhood home. At the same time he is hunted by a mysterious woman who is single-minded in her drive to find him.”

(science fiction, supernatural, post-apocalypse)

i just KNOW the author of this one is cooking something crazyy. we’re still pretty early on in the story, but i can feel it! the fact it’s in black and white also goes a long way in establishing the vibes of the whole thing.

inheritors “The setting is a post-apocalyptic, alternate Earth. Most of the planet was destroyed by a rogue AI program, called Apollo. However, one continent was able to be saved by the goddess Athena, and was able to evolve and adapt to urban life today. Now, Apollo is making his presence known within the existing cities, and new information is coming to light. Who created Apollo? Where are the gods, now? Most importantly, what does it mean to truly be human?

As if all of that wasn't enough pressure, Space-Time's grandson is having an identity crisis over the sudden realization that he's going to outlive everyone he's grown close to. So y'know, there's a whole existential crisis sub-plot along with the mystery surrounding Apollo, the gods, the world of Faerie, and some strange, alien newcomers in the city.”

(action, science fiction, modern fantasy, drama. marked tws for topics of religion, depression, self-harm, bullying, child abuse, attempted suicide, and struggles with identity)

this one’s also pretty early on in the story as well, but i was immediately captivated by the silly little drawings in the first couple pages. i also know the authors of this one are cooking very hard with the worldbuilding! definitely check this one out so youre here whenever things start getting wild!

[doctorweebmd]

We will wait and wait in that space and part 2 of tht series keeps me up at night well i havent read both of them but i read the summaries and the end of part 2 and started crying

you write angst so well omgg

ive read some of ur fics and posts and u seem like a really cool person!!! What do you think is your saddest fic? I'm a sucker for angst. Im reading ur bkdk fics and im like this hits so hard omg

also new mha chapter, if this isnt too much i just wondering what r ur thoughts on it? I saw a recent post from u abt it so im assuming u alr read it or something. Sorry if this is alot!

hahahha oh my gosh thank you! i don't know how i gave off the impression i was cool at all because i am not

hmmm in terms of the saddest one? I'd say its we will wait and wait in that space, hands down. There's such a certain helplessness and hopelessness in loving someone so much, trying to save them over and over and over again, and knowing that the only way they live is if you're not part of their life. for Izuku, who desperately wants to save people, who got his power because he wanted to save Katsuki - urgh. The devastation. If any of them are worth a read for angst specifically, its that one.

ooooffff thank you for asking about the new mha chapter. its a really, really hard question to answer. there's a very melancholic vibe in the classroom, it seems. i feel for izuku. the amount of loss he's suffering through is immense. he failed to save the one person that he promised himself he's try to reach. he lost his quirk, his dream, broke his body to save everyone around him. he saw his heroes, his idols, his friends die and break and mutilate themselves and felt responsible for all of it. he is sixteen years old and the world as he knows it has changed. forever. how can that boy possibly be in a place where he can return to any semblance of normal?

i hope we have a chance to explore his grief. i hope there is a deku vs kacchan part 3, where katsuki beats izuku's 'i'm fine' out of him. i hope he cries and breaks down and tells him just how tired he is of pretending to be strong for everybody else. i hope they finally talk. that izuku acknowledges just how sincerely and completely katsuki admires him and cares for him. i hope that they can hold each other up, support each other. i hope that he can start to forgive himself. i hope, you know?

on that note, i desperately desperately hope that the 'mysterious' figure in the end is Tenko. listen, i've thought a lot about shigaraki's 'death' in the past week and a half. and, as always, i stand with the fact that horikoshi is an excellent writer and whichever way he decides to end this series and his characters is the right way. he has never been careless in the past ten years with these stories, and i dont have a single doubt he'll start now.

i've spent years talking about how shigaraki is by far my favorite antagonist in any anime ever, and that the LoV are, in every sense of the word, the greatest villain team of all time. horikoshi wrote them with as much love and sincerity as he did the heroes. if the choice to kill tomura is deliberate because it hits so hard, then i dont think it was the wrong choice. he stayed a villain until the very end, and we still loved him. we still sympathized with him. he will still haunt the narrative forever. he still was a hero to the villains. he still gave the disenfranchised hope. he still changed the world.

if he's dead, i need him to be grieved. by toga. by touya. by spinner. by izuku. i need him never to fade.

BUT. but. if he lives. if what disappeared was simply his 'vestige' of Decay and his physical body still exists somewhere, Quirkless. If he has a chance to live as Tenko Shimura. free from All for One. From the house that bound him. from the name Shigaraki itself..

i. i can't imagine a more powerful narrative than to give the villains a chance to live. to be cared for. to be loved. to see the world around them and know that it is with their own hands that they changed it. for people like them. for the future. if this is a story about hope, then that is what hope looks like to me.

[rainingincale]

Thats it! I'm tired of this grandpa!

Pls do not read beyond the cut if you do not want spoilers for Rick Riordans Books, mainly percy jackson and the kane chronicles thnx xoxo

For context, I'm in the middle of The Son of Neptune which is the second book in the Heroes of Olympus series.

So far I have read The OG Percy Jackson series, The Kane Chronicles, The Lost Hero (Book 1 in HoO) and some of the extra side books. I have basically been trying to read everything roughly in chronological order.

Anyways! I'm just very pissed because I went into this endeavour of reading all these books because people RAVE about how much they love Percy Jackson and I was like ok I would like to understand what this is about.

So I read the Percy Jackson Series, and I really liked it! I do think if i was younger I would have enjoyed it more but I could definitely see why people enjoyed it. Its got the cool adventure, the jokes and the friendship.

Then. I read the Kane Chronicles. And by Jove. I wanted to love the books. Because while I liked Percy Jackson, most of the characters were white you know? And thats not the Worst thing. But the Kane Chronicles had the extra bit of diversity that I had kind of been missing (I could go into a huge rant about this but im just going to leave it at that, if anyone truly wants to hear more about it feel free to ask but this post isnt about that). Anyways! So I started optimistically, I liked the style of writing, I liked the Egyptian mythology, i really liked the characters! Especially that the main two were a sibling duo. I thought it was super fun. But the thing that genuinely sucked ALL the joy out of the series for me. Was the romance with Sadie, who starts the series being 12 and turns 13 in the second book, having a romance??? With??? A 16 (16!!!????) year old?????????????? It honestly made me hate the books, I couldnt enjoy them once that storyline started going (which mainly started in the second book and theres only 3 in the first place so 😐)

Anyways, I ended up semi-skim reading by the last book. I liked the plot mostly but the romance genuinely made me just want to get the book over and done with I hated it.

And then! I got onto Heroes of Olympus! (I Actually read The Lost Hero before the Kane chronicles because Chronology but anyways) So I start these books, and from what Little i know of the series, These books are the reason everyone loves Rick Riordans books so much. So i was excited! All I knew going into it was that people really like these books and that this is where Nico Di Angelo is featured a bit more (tbh thats more of an assumption, I just know people Really like him and while he was cool in the OG Percy Jackson books he was hardly there).

So here innocent little me goes, I read the Lost Hero and I loved it! I loved the characters, Piper, Jason and especially! Leo ❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺 It was super funny and I enjoyed the storyline a lot. I literally could feel straight away why people would love this series.

And now. I'm reading Son Of Neptune. And it started strong. But why the FUCK!!!! Am I getting ANOTHER potentional (which is probably going to fucking happen from past experience) ROMANCE between a 13 AND A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD!!!!!!! Like what actually goes on in someones brain for them to think that this is normal and fucking alright!!! And why!!! Have I never seen anything about it mentioned before!!!! I have so many bones to pick with Mr Riordan and anyone that has ever recommended these books because like dudgdhshdh I hate it!!!

Im back to basically just trying to read this as fast as possible now because I just seriously cant be fucked with a weird fucking age gap like that, its just totally unnecessary and the story would've made just as much sense if their ages matched. I will probably still finish the books because Ive come this bloody far but I'm so fucking pissed. If anyone would like to console me feel free djdvcjd I have lost months of my life reading these books 🤣😭

[frosnpls]

cw vent,, doin bad tonite lads

idk if i have PMDD or if it's the SAD or if it's the work stress or if it's the state of this country and the fact that I'm slowly losing hope of both living independently/being able to afford such as well as ever being able to ever begin to transition properly or just whatever the fuck but man im not having a good time

i keep thinking lately about how ive never been able to catch a break and like sometimes i feel like im blowing it out of proportion and that its not fair because i do actually lead a fairly privileged life but also like. i was literally bullied at the age of THREE by my nursery teacher because she mistook the clear signs of my neurodivergence as misbehaviour. i struggled through school because nobody noticed i was neurodivergent and the people who did didnt want to admit it. i developed body dysmorphia by the age of like 8 iirc. i was bullied throughout all of my childhood and struggled so badly because i didnt have any support in place because somehow nobody noticed the very clear signs of adhd and autism. i lost my teenage years to severe bullying which caused permanent trauma and then lost the four years of my life after finishing school to essentially becoming a carer for an abusive suicidal boyfriend and then spent months after his death blaming myself for "not doing enough" when i had literally become a recluse because i was afraid that if i went out he might need me and i wouldnt be available. this year was the first year i think ive ever actually felt Right because i felt like i had myself figured out and i was doing what i wanted and i felt free and i just. i think theres an element of grieving for probably like a good sixteen or so years of my life where i was consistently traumatised by something and had no chance to find myself as a person

i feel consistently selfish for it but i just want someone to see how much im struggling and acknowledge it yknow like. offer some help or take care of me for a bit. i dont understand why but im in this role of a protector and caretaker for others and whilst i want to look after people and i care so so deeply about the people i do look after id also like to be looked after occasionally, you know? like. the day my cat died my partner was there and i got out of bed and my mum gave me the news and i went downstairs and i held her and i went back to my room and got in bed and started crying and. my partner put their arm around me and said he was sorry and i just curled up into them and cried and i genuinely think its the most ive ever felt cared for in at least my working memory

when i was younger sometimes my dad would try to comfort me when i cried and when i tried to explain why i was crying he would say "oh, [deadname]" in this really sympathetic tone and i remember always hoping he would do it when i cried because it made me feel like someone was actually acknowledging how much i was hurting and there came a point where he stopped saying it and idr if it was just because i was getting older and it sounded condescending or if it was at the point where i started hiding from my parents when i was upset because i didnt want them to worry but there was a period of time where i would actually miss that exclamation every time i cried even though i wasnt coming to my dad for comfort

i want to ask for help and seek help and comfort and be vulnerable enough to let people know i need it but also theres people who rely on me and i worry that if i dont seem positive or up to it they might think they cant come to me and i want them to be able to come to me i really do. then also i feel like if i bring my hurt to others all im going to do is upset or inconvenience them and i dont want to do that

im just trapped because i dont want anyone to worry about me but also i kind of do and it makes me feel so selfish like why would anyone ever want people to worry about them but its just in that way that like. iwould maybe just like to be asked if im alright before ive expressed that im not. i would like someone to notice that im quieter than usual or that i dont seem as enthusiastic or upbeat as i do most of the time and ask how im feeling. even that makes me feel selfish though and i hate it because i know realistically that isnt selfish but equally any normal person would just seek out the comfort they need right?? but i cant because if i initiate it then it means im annoying someone or upsetting someone or taking up someone's valuable time

i dont understand how i can be both looking after others, taking time to check on them and make sure theyre alright, give advice and welcome people in if they need me, and then also at the same time feel like the world biggest dickhead if i even dare to think about asking for the same from someone. or refusing to take my own advice. i need a mental health break from work desperately and my partner keeps telling me this as well but i keep refusing because we had 4 staff members off sick this week and if i went off as well it would make things hard for them. i just cant,, prioritise myself

im tired of england and im tired of the world and im tired of having to figure out how im going to manage to exist in the way i want to one day and im tired of feeling selfish for desiring human contact and im tired of waking up before the sun's up and im tired of feeling sad and not understanding why and im just. im just tired

[steelycunt]

ridi ridi hiiii !!! how are youuu how was yr dayyy i started mine off by rereading yr otiofad ficc did you know every sentence in it is a masterpiece did you know every word is like worthy of an auditoriumesque applause now yk i wanted to ask you to talk about that particular bit tho (if you wouldn't mind ofc !!) where sirius slams the book shut on an insect bc it's sooo like it's sooo !! it reads like premonition and also like r can't help but be wary of s and s can't help but be just like capable of harm regardless of intention & carelessly and i think it's sooo genius I think yr soooo genius for that and if you have more to say abt what that bit meant to youu + process of writing it + foreshadowing you wanted to get across w it etc. etc. i would be vv interested to hear <333 mwah love you loads xx

hello my lovely omg!!! my day was GOOD actually surprisingly good i am recovering from my illnesses and i played badminton and ate tangerines it was a very content day!! how was yours!! also warning you now in advance i wrote way too long a reply to this. like WAY too long NOBODY needed this im so sorry!! the very final paragraph provides like a little tl;dr you DO NOT need to read the essay that is under the cut!! im so sorry!!

okay firstly the idea that someone would not only read one of my little stories but read it more than once?? crazy actually!! insane!! so glad that it could be a part of ur morning n i would love to talk abt it!! hang on opening it in a new tab rn let me remember what it was i actually wrote huh lol

firstly with the flashback scenes in otiofad in general they had to serve two different purposes. they obviously needed to show the intense love and intimacy between the boys prior to The Incident, in order to juxtapose the post-prank scenes and serve as a marker for measuring the size of the rift in their relationship that its caused (which is why theres lots of kissing and cuddling and cloying monologues in the flashback scenes), but at the same time they had to demonstrate the little parts of their relationship which are a little bit fucked! a little bit unhealthy and obsessive. and they had to portray sirius as a person who has the capacity to do what he ends up doing. i didnt want to accidentally work against myself by over-idealizing their relationship to the point where it became difficult to believe sirius could be so thoughtless as to do what he does. like if ive just made you read fifteen hundred words of him being the Best Boyfriend Ever and then switch to him begging forgiveness for an attempted murder, his character becomes a little disjointed, and i really wanted it to feel like you're consistently reading the same people, just in very different circumstances. so the flashbacks very much needed to stress their intensity rather than their health as a couple.

im definitely roaming beyond the parameters of your question (but i promise it all circles back xx) but some of the sort of. i dont want to say red flag as much as cause for concern moments that i tried to include especially in the flashbacks include for instance: [Sirius says that sort of thing often, and with a confidence that Remus cannot ever fathom. Good god, how he would like to ask Sirius, them or me, that or me, and never fear the answer.] in the first scene, because i think remus' low self-esteem and his insecurity definitely affects their relationship + how he perceives it, which isn't anyone's fault as much as it is just them being young and imperfect like. theyre like sixteen here nobody had it together when they were sixteen right :-/ you have sirius utterly utterly obsessed with being in love with remus declaring that he doesnt want anything else from life and he's. sixteen years old. he's got no idea. like its that sort of rashness and impulsivity when he's speaking and acting which ends up fucking him over :-/

TO GET BACK to the bit you actually asked about (im so sorry for how long this is <3) the part where he closes the book on the spider. i mean honestly ur interpretation in the ask is pretty spot on!! its another one of the little stitches in the flashback scenes that sort of...slightly changes/sobers/brings the tone back down the reality a little, after theyve spent most of the scene cuddling and kissing etc. i'd already sort of tried (and i want to emphasise try at every point in this answer sfdghsh because i am not necessarily claiming that any of this was necessarily successful lol) to show sirius' capacity for being rash and obsessive, and the spider moment was just this tiny act of unnecessary, arguably cruel? violence that was meant to be jarring against the very over-sweet and gentle affection he's just shown remus. and although theyre acts of violence on such different scales, he gives just as much thought to sending snape to the willow as he does to squashing the spider. one of the things about sirius that i love soooo much is his relationship with violence and the way his anger translates into violence and cruelty (which remus mentions in the final scene when he says “You’ve got to stop being the kind of person who hurts people when they’re angry.”). its why hes SO fun to write angry because his anger is so distinctive lol. so the spider moment is just meant to serve as a little reminder of this random, mindless aggression that sirius carries around with him and that exists in tandem with all the affection we've seen him show remus, who starts in surprise when sirius slams the book shut. (i'll let u in on a super little fun (or not) fact that in my head when i was writing it i always drew a little parallel between the twitching insect leg thats left on the page and the similarly uncomfortable sensation of the eyelash that remus feels scratching his own eye immediately afterwards. thats not necessarily meant to come across n i expect it doesnt because i didnt develope the idea...at all...but in my head they were always a little linked teehee like even sirius' smallest acts of violence still have an effect on remus somehow xx)

but yeah!! apologies i didnt think this would be such a long explanation for a simple question fbhsdfhs im very embarrassed by this but like!! in short the spider was another little jarring moment designed to tether the version of sirius you get in the flashback to the version you get in the post-prank scenes, because ultimately he's the same guy with the same flaws both before and after the prank!! there was no reason for him to kill the spider like that and thats why hes so fucked. it was just his instinctive response to seeing it there.

[blxetsi]

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

[fandom-puff]

Enough

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Requested by: anon

Prompts: “I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I?” (49 from list 2)

Summary: you’re not a barmaid. You don’t train horses. You’re nothing compared to the other women in his life

Warnings: swearing, arguments, very brief harassment

���YN!” John’s voice rang out from the side room. “Come ‘ere, girl, come and sit with us!”

You smiled weakly at him. He always tried to include you. “A-Actually, I was just heading home,” you said softly, walking over to him, ignoring Tommy pouring out a gin for May Carleton.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Is it Finn? D’you want us to tell him to fuck off? We know he’s off putting- oi, Finn, go play with the other kids, yeah, fuck off,”

You giggled slightly. “No... it’s not... it’s not Finn, you can sit down,” you said, and the youngest Shelby grinned at you in thanks.

Esme, johns wife appeared at the door. “You can sit with me if you like. Lord knows I need some female company while him and Arthur are playing cards,” she smirks, jabbing him in the rib with her elbow.

You smile softly and give in. “Fine,” you said. Once the door was shut, you leaned to Esme, murmuring, “you’d think you’d have plenty of female company what with Tommy bouncing between Mrs Carlton and the barmaid,”

John overheard and snorted into his whiskey and esme glared at him. She looked at you sympathetically, and said in a hushed voice once the boys were distracted by cards again, “you still love the fucker, don’t you?”

Signing, you looked down to your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “Mm-Hm,” you confirmed. “He just... he confuses me so much. He cuts it off with me after the war, saying he needs space when really he was chasing that barmaid spy... she fucks off after he has her, and he comes back to me for a quick one. I was a fool to let him, because not two weeks later it’s May Carlton this, May Carlton that,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, hating to admit that you were jealous. But underneath that, you felt vulnerable. Inadequate.

“He’s a cock, YN,” esme said, rubbing your shoulder gently.

“Who’s a cock, Es?” John asks. Nosey bastard.

Esme sighed softly. “Thomas. Flaunting the horse woman round YN. Says she was born riding, but I bet she’s only ever ridden Fillies she inherited. Never had to break one in herself,” she rolled her eyes.

John and Arthur looked at you, smiling sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation to you, YN, we prefer you over an Irish spy or some posh woman any day of the week,” Arthur said. “You were with Tom since you were sixteen, and since he er... broke things off... he’s been a right dick,”

You smiled softly. Arthur and John would’ve made such lovely brothers in law. “Thanks, boys,” you sighed. “But it’s not... it’s not that I’m mad at him for seeing other women, he can do what he wants. It’s the seeing me in between and then ignoring me. I-I know I’m no good. I know I’m boring. I know I’m useless. Just... he doesn’t seem to be arsed about how I feel, even though I care so much about him. It’s like rubbing salt into an open wound- I don’t even know why I’m talking about this to you lot of all people,” you let out a high, nervous laugh. Esme patter your back as John and Arthur each reached to squeeze one of your hands reassuringly.

“What’s going on?” Tommy asked, the door now what as he slipped into the room. May was nowhere in sight.

“Where’s your girlfriend, Thomas?” Esme spat. You were glad for her venemous tongue sometimes.

Tommy rolled his eyes and barely regarded his sister in law. “May Carlton has left small Heath to go back to her home,” he said bluntly. “To tend to my horse,”

“Even though you’ve got Curly here. He’s the best at horses,” you blurted, without really thinking.

“Yn,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What would you know about horses?”

His words stung. He had taught you how to ride when you were 16. He’d taught you how to tell what a horse was feeling, how to calm a nervous mare, how to get a horse to behave without taking to the crop or the whip. In your letters while he was in France you always made sure to tell him how the horses in the yard were getting on, and he told you about the beautiful chestnut stallion he had seen, the dappled mare which the commander rode. “Only what you taught me,” you whispered, tears pooling in your eyes. “Only what you taught me before you went off to France. Before that fucking war and then that fucking copper ruined everything,” you pulled away from esme’s comforting pats, from John and Arthur’s sympathetic gaze, from Finn’s baffled look. You stared at tommy, taking a deep breath to say something scathing, but could only manage a small sob.

You hated yourself for it. Tommy grabbed your arms but you wriggled from his grasp. “Look, YN, calm down, love, we’ll talk-“

“Love? Love?” You hissed. “You lost your right to call me anything but my name months ago. Don’t you coddle me, Thomas Shelby, because I know exactly what you’re thinking. I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I? I’m never going to be a pretty Irish barmaid who keeps a pistol in her handbag. I’m never going to be a prostitute you wouldn’t let your brother marry because you wanted her all to yourself. I’m never going to be some rich widow with a big house and a wealth of knowledge about horses. All I gave you, ten years of my life, my innocence, my youth... it was never good enough for you, was it?” tears were streaming down your face.

“Yn,” Tommy said.

“No,” you pushed past him. “Don’t bother,” you slammed the door to the snug. As you walked out of the pub, a man grabbed at your wrist.

“Need some cheering up, darling?” He snarled, Hans tracing your thigh.

“Get your filthy fucking hands off me before I rip your fucking balls off and shove ‘em down your own throat,” you growled, yanking your hand away from him, and storming home.

Men were the worst. All toe rags, you decided.

***

A week has passed since your argument with tommy. Each of the Shelby’s had tried reaching out to you- you were practically a sister to them for ten years before Tommy decided he’d had enough.

You sighed as the door knocked. “As much as I appreciate it Arthur,” you sighed as you took the chain off. “Im really not in the mood to spend my night drinking away my sorrows with you and John- oh. It’s you,”

You immediately looked down, not wanting to look into those blue eyes, that perfect face. That stupid, perfect face.

“YN... look,” he said slowly, carefully. The same way he would coax a nervous filly to trust him. “I’ve been... ive been a bastard, okay. I’m sorry. I still... I still love you,”

You snorted. “Explain that to everyone within a mile radius of May Carlton’s house, hmm?” You said bitterly. “Or to the horse you named ‘Grace’s Secret’”

Tommy sighed. “I know you hate me, YN... but... I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you since we were 16 in my uncle Charlie’s Yard, hiding from your dad. When we used to sit by the cut eating those pretty little cakes you used to make. I used to give you the strawberry off the top of mine, so long as you gave me some of your buttercream. We wrote to eachother every week while I was in France, sometimes twice, three times, even. I still have those letters, YN. You used to put a spritz of your perfume in each one and do a little kiss in all your different lipsticks so it was like you were hugging and kissing me all those miles away,”

As he spoke, he was slowly backing you into your living room, until you were both sitting down. “I didn’t bring you flowers, because I know you only really like them in the spring and summer, because they wilt too fast and look too sad in the autumn and winter. And if it was spring, I would’ve gotten you roses or violets or pansies, because I know lilies and chrysanthemums make you sneeze,” a fresh round of tears slipped out of your shut eyes. You couldn’t bare to look at him under his intense gaze- you knew you’d break down after just a second.

“Tommy,” you whispered softly. It was the first time you’d called him by his nickname in over a year

“I know that you can’t sleep without snuggling into something- blankets normally- but... it used to be me, and I miss it so much, YN,” he said the last part in a soft, quiet voice.

You let out a soft cry, moving to his side, allowing him to engulf you in his arms and hold you tight, the way he held you the night before he went off to war. You cried into his chest, and we’re sure he was crying into your hair for more than an hour, finding long lost comfort in one another’s arms, the way they slotted so well together despite so long apart.

“I want this to work Tommy,” you eventually whispered. “I want it to be how it was,” you felt him not his head.

“No more secrets, YN. No more women. Only you. The only woman I’ve ever truly loved,”

You sighed softly and nodded, snuggling into him the way he pointed out you did. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed, you look like you haven’t slept in days,” he said guiltily, picking you up and carrying you upstairs. As he was tucking you in, you grabbed his hand, eyes suddenly alert.

“Don’t leave me again,” you whispered, squeezibv his hand. He squeezed back, before kicking off his shoes and taking off his belt, sliding into bed behind you, cuddling you close the way you did all those years ago. It seemed the most natural thing to do, and he almost sighed with relief when you snuggled close. He kissed the top of your head gently.

“Never, YN... never again,”

Tag list: @the-makingsofgreatness @peakyswritings @haphazardhufflepuff @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor @hiddensapphic @fckingpeakyblinders @snugleo @alittlebirds @satanxklaus @glamsaturn @thegirlwithoutaname87 @queenofmankind @awkwardretro

[ford-ye-fiji]

For the ask game: 17, 18, 19, 31, 32, 42, 47

These are so cute omg

17. Thing you still do that only kids are supposed to?

hm. probably getting way too excited about little regular things that people normally are okay about? Like being able to have hot chocolate whenever I want or getting to take a break or the fact that it’s gotten colder and I get to wrap myself up in approximately sixteen hundred blankets and pretend I’m a burrito and the world outside cannot get me ajsks

18. 3 qualities you like about yourself.

anti-self deprecation time okay XD

1. ive been quite proud of my writing lately there’s some stuff I’ve written that’s turned out really good

2. I can say deoxyribonucleic acid

3. when I encounter a problem I fix it or I try really hard before giving up. So basically I’m stubborn which may not be a good thing tbh

19. Do you smile a lot?

yes! All the time. Sometimes when im nervous XD I want to be friendly but im bad at talking so I try to smile to make up for it ajsks

31. Which planet do you like the most?

Pluto my beloved 💕

32. Favorite Disney Princess?

this one is complicated! When I was a really tiny tater tot, Ariel was my favorite. Then I think Tangled got me excited and then, and I know this might get me flack, but Frozen got me really excited. Mostly because we had the same sort of hair length and blue was my favorite color and winter my favorite season. Plus she was… really kind of relatable? Especially for my emotionally repressed, oldest sister syndrome-d, socially anxious self…. So yeah Elsa is my favorite im sorry asksksk

42. Favorite childhood book, show, or videogame?

Zoo Tycoon 2!!!! Zoo Tycoon 2 the ultimate edition with all the cool marine animals and the okapi and the Utah raptor yesssss

47. One color to describe your personality?

[cute ask game here]

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[winterscaptain]

tali i have kind of a weird question? growing up my family never watched a lot of classic/common movies (we were FIRMLY a veggie tales house) so I have No Clue what like half of the movies you mention are? like I've never seen footloose or what a wonderful life or die hard? or practically... anything you've ever talked about :(

(also ive never seen mean girls but thats a oersonal failure cas I just. forget to watch it?)

do you have a fav/good movie i should start with cause I feel like I'm missing out on so much :(

hi honey!! you’re so valid, and i had LOTS of veggie tales experience growing up. i know you asked for one, but i went a lil ham on this list because you’ve unknowingly touched on one of my favorite hobbies

okay so i have a big list for you, but it’s in really manageable chunks!! i went to theatre school at the school that houses the Best Cinema School in the World (fight on, usc) and i have Opinions™!! 

if anyone has any other recs not on this list, drop em in the replies!!

i’ll put these in order of my preference/pop culture relevance, so it’s all subjective and idk what your taste is like, but if you have any questions im always here for you!! i’ve added a few notes and disclaimers along the way

this is a really good list to go off of, in general! 

okay so here are my top seven films that i never get tired of watching, in order.

skyfall

that thing you do

captain america: the first avenger/captain america: winter soldier

inglorious basterds*

the sound of music 

knives out

blazing saddles**

* inglorious basterds is a quentin tarantino movie, and tarantino isn’t for everyone. his films are always really bloody, intense, and rife with bad language. i don’t like him personally, but i love his work. this is, in my opinion, his best and funniest work

** blazing saddles is a mel brooks movie, and he’s REALLY offensive and inappropriate in his satire. it’s definitely an iconic comedy, but not to everyone’s taste. it’s one of those movies where you’re actually allowed to laugh at the really horrible jokes because it’s an equal-opportunity offense-fest lmao 

so here are some other genres and films that are a good foundation!

IN GENERAL!! i don’t like remakes. if there’s an older version of the movie, watch that one. trust me. 

i’ve also bolded a couple of key favorites on this list

romantic comedies

my best friend’s wedding

the ugly truth & 27 dresses (katherine hiegl movies ROCK)

sleepless in seattle & you’ve got mail (meg ryan and tom hanks own my ass)

when harry met sally

movies based on books/short stories

to kill a mockingbird

the book thief

the hunger games trilogy

divergent

chronicles of narnia

pride and prejudice (2005 or the bbc miniseries)

3:10 to yuma

based on a true story

ford v. ferrarri

three billboards outside of ebbing, missouri

moneyball

zero dark thirty

the king’s speech

black mass

apollo 11

documentaries*

ken burns’ civil war

ken burns’ baseball

paris is burning

blackfish

free solo

the hunting ground 

* please be advised, some of these documentaries cover some disturbing and distressing subjects. please engage responsibly!

superhero movies

iron man

the dark knight*

wonder woman

scott pilgrim vs the world (okay give me this one)

spider man 1, the amazing spider man, and spiderman: homecoming (all different spidermans, all great movies!

deadpool**

* tdk is really really dark, but the performances are immaculate.  ** deadpool is wildly inappropriate, so don’t take the R-rating lightly! it’s so funny though. so so fucking funny. 

teen favorites

10 things i hate about you

mean girls

she’s the man

easy a

heathers

70′s icons

jaws

monty python and the holy grail

butch cassidy and the sundance kid

star wars trilogy 

dirty harry

80′s classics

alien (technically in ‘79 but feels like an 80′s movie)

dirty dancing

john hughes movies!! the breakfast club, st. elmo’s fire, pretty in pink, sixteen candles, some kind of wonderful

back to the future

footloose

princess bride

90′s flicks

the matrix

three men and a baby

thelma and louise

pretty woman

notting hill

a league of their own

lgbt +

our own private idaho

brokeback mountain

moonlight

philadelphia

call me by your name

love, simon

some of these movies don’t get everything right. if you do choose to engage, engage critically and let the art make you feel something. 

tom hanks movies

yes he gets his own category

joe v the volcano 

castaway

big

saving mr banks

movies where the government saves matt damon

the martian 

saving private ryan

interstellar

jason bourne (technically he saves himself, but he’s still funded by the government)

war movies

fury

band of brothers

full metal jacket

the last full measure

war horse 

1917 

hacksaw ridge

westerns

django unchained

the magnificent seven

true grit

the good the bad and the ugly

a fistful of dollars

old hollywood

an affair to remember

breakfast at tiffany’s, roman holiday (audrey hepburn is an icon of the era)

any alfred hitchcock movie, but psycho and rear window are my faves

these movies don’t get everything right. they are a product of their time and often come with insensitive and unironically offensive cultural baggage. if you so choose, engage critically. you’re still allowed to enjoy the movies, just understand what’s not acceptable! 

christmas movies

it’s a wonderful life

white christmas

a christmas story

the holiday

die hard (some people don’t think this is a christmas movie. i disagree.)

the family stone

a year without a santa clause

halloween movies

hocus pocus

beetlejuice

anything by tim burton - the nightmare before christmas, the corpse bride

the shining

the blair witch project

get out

cult classics

the rocky horror picture show

the room

reservoir dogs

jennifer’s body 

point break

these are WAY more fun with friends - please quarantine responsibly, but it's so worth the wait to watch this with a big group of people.

[violasmirabiles]

tagged by @panwriter, thank you xx

why did you choose your url? went through the scientific names of various violets because thought it was funny because one of my names can be translated as violet or pansy in english; the finnish name of viola mirabilis happened to provide me with an additional stealth fandom reference (yeah its lehto-orvokki yeah its that Finnish War Thing). also i think violamirabilis was taken so now im just. a bunch of flowers

any side blogs? @ihmekukkavesi for my photos - pretty inactive because, ah, im, how do you say, lazy as fuck, and @shineondoc for university hell

how long have you been on tumblr? since december 2011 babeyyyy

do you have a queue tag? no i do not. this shitshow is always brought to you in real time

why did you start your blog in the first place? classic rock fandom, especially pink floyd. i was sixteen and lonely and had no one my age to bond with over the music and the musicians i liked

why did you choose your icon/pfp? thats a selfie. i have a good face. ive been thinking about updating it for a week now though since i changed my hair and am blonde again but im lazy, you know how it is

why did you choose your header? symposion by akseli gallen-kallela. theres two reasons and they are 1) love the “night out with the lads but its 1894 and we cant take a selfie so im just gonna have to paint a fucking oil painting later” thing its got going on and 2) LOVE the colors. this painting has also been my phone homescreen bg for a long time

what’s your post with the most notes? uhh. probably this?

how many mutuals do you have? quite a few. no really ive never counted i dont know the exact number. ive had this blog for ten years for gods sake.

how many followers do you have? 2326. dont know how many are active

how many people do you follow? 654. also dont know how many are active and oftentimes its like i intend to do some Spring Cleaning and come across blogs that havent been active in YEARS but i just. cant bring myself to unfollow them because what if they come back someday

have you ever made a shitpost? have you not? of course i have. 

how often do you use tumblr everyday? many quick checks throughout the day whenever im bored and theres a notification on my phone. how else does one “use” tumble dot hell

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? hm. i mean not really? like. there was that one time i noticed someone reposted a friends edit claiming it as their own even though it had said friends url on it and everything and i said something along the lines of hey dont do that thats not cool and then got a Mysterious Anon message that said something along the lines of fuck you bitch what are you gonna do. this was Years ago. also there was another time, also years ago, when i got another mysterious anon that was like “i dont like you” and then “oh you think youre so perfect well you ARE i should just go kill myself” because ?? someone they followed followed me as well and apparently reblogged a lot of my posts and ??? yeah i dont know either.

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this”? guilt tripping bullshit. like, sure, if the post is legit important and the “WHY ARENT PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS” comment is in the reblogs or something i might rb from the source or otherwise without That Comment. and yes i have reblogged posts with those comments before, again, have been here for a long time, but, eh. im not very likely to touch a post that has a comment like that. im tired. im twenty six. i read news. even watch em on tv sometimes if im somewhere with a tv. tumblr is not where i Go Get My Fix Of News.

do you like tag games? yeah!! i keep forgetting to do them but i do love them and being tagged in them!

do you like ask games? yeah! but im so fucking lazy and forgetful!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? theres a few! and theres a few who have like. one or two posts that got Huge and i keep seeing those posts on a whole different corner of my dash and go oh :) hey thats my friend :)

do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

tagging: uhh my brains been buffering for five minutes so im not gonna tag anyone at this time sorrY

[nonagesiimus]

literally all the horror questions

LMFAOOO thanks matt

Halloween: Favorite horror movie of all time?

SCREAM i think billy and stu are so fun

Scream: What horror movie do you think you’d be able to survive in?

i do not! maybe jennifers body since shes mostly just killing teenage boys and i am not a teenage boy. like i think it would have to be a situation where i am just not on the killers radar bc honestly? honestly? im not fucking like, outwitting michael or some shit

Child’s Play: How and when did you get into horror movies?

okay i was a weirdly nervous kid and was too scared to do anything that might make me get scared, like i would leave school early on the halloween party days bc i didnt like all the masks, so i avoided horror for a really long time, but for some reason when i was like sixteen i REALLY wanted to watch hannibal so i got the dvd from my library and was then obsessed

The Witch: Scariest horror movie you’ve ever seen?

probably the blair witch project. i dont normally get like actual physical anxiety when i watch horror but this movie made me feel tense as fuck. the original reason i wanted to watch it was that i was reading one of stephen kings books about writing/horror and he mentioned in it that the first time he tried to watch it he had to ask his son to turn it off like halfway through bc it was freaking him out too bad and i was like omg. i have to know what goes on in the movie that fucked up stephen king

Poltergeist: What are some horror movies on your watch list?

carrie (forgot to watch it after i finished the book back in march), some of the other saw movies now that the first one has me fucked up, the other texas chainsaw massacres, the exorcist (which i should also read at some point), and whatever those fucking like classic zombie movies are that im blanking on the names of rn

Friday the 13th: Least favorite horror movie?

nightmare on elm street was bad! tbh i thought freddy sucked shit before i even watched it but like. hes really just a pathetic little man isnt he. i dont care about any of the people in that movie. wes craven you did scream so good how did you fuck this one up

Psycho: When was the last time you watched a horror movie?

literally last night when i watched saw for the first time which FUCKED by the way i would literally watch saw again right now. this is an adam stanheight account from now on

Rosemary’s Baby: Favorite sub-genre of horror?

i mean. slashers. obviously. they take up a lot of my blog i think. but thats really just for movies like, horror books that try to read like slashers tend to be Not Good, so i guess my favorite sub genre for books is whatever tf the shining had going on. haunted house shit. CONCEPTUALLY ive been obsessed with spatial horror lately but im just obsessed in a Thinking About Things sort of way and not so much in a consuming things sort of way

The Exorcist: If you were able to make your own horror movie villain, what would you call them + what would they be like?

oh good fucking question a while ago @thegrandmarsh and i were sort of generally talking about a couple slasher ocs that i forgot to do anything with bc i am bad at maintaining ocs. i dont know how people do it. but generally speaking when i try to do slasher ocs i come up with these traits: they are a little shit, they live someplace very cold, they either already have a partner or try to convince someone to become their partner, and they have some kind of proclivity for stalking. they're also USUALLY a white boy because white boys just love serial killing. they have the entitlement necessary. god i saw someone on tik tok the other day draw their slasher oc and i really should have saved the video

Frankenstein: What’s an underrated horror movie, in your opinion?

RED DRAGON i like red dragon so much more than silence of the lambs. like i think silence is a good movie if we all agree to ignore the transphobia for two hours or whatever but like. i care so much more about dolarhyde than i do about buffalo bill, like, fundamentally. its not even that i think hes a more interesting villain (i do) but like i CARE about him as a PERSON. i get it we all subscribe to the hugh dancy will graham school of thought now but i promise if we can all just accept this blonde will then we can have so much fun with this movie. francis eats a painting. okay

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Favorite horror franchise?

HALLOWEEN i literally like. okay honestly i think TWO of the halloween movies are worthwhile and the rest are like. i simply do not need these, but i give the little ted talk i have in my head about what i think are the Five Michael Canons like every time im bored pacing around my room so its definitely the franchise that i think about the most. and i love michael so much

[voidselfshipp]

The Mystery Before The Revelation

(pLZ RB WITH Y'ALLS THOUGHTS ON IT!!!IM SO EXCITED TO START THIS FIC!!!,SO OK TO RB).

Theres also some oc stuff here.

♡~♡~♡~♡

Two girls ran amok in the yard, playing tag.

--You cant catch me!-one of the girls say while runnin.

The sun is setting and its almost dinner time.

--Enola!jerico!come inside girls the dinner ready!.

Jerico and elona were the best of friends,partners in mischiefs and confidants to the other.

Elona remembers jeri as being very close, inseparable, she almost lived with her.

But when elona left looking for her mother jer also left.

She thought she never see her again.

Until a couple of years later.

Enola is talking with her two older brothers,Microft and Sherlock.

--Oh dear sister I think youll find this visit very enjoyable--microft said.

--What makes you think that?--they werent on the best of terms.

--Well you shall see- he said again.

But she wasnt the only one surprised by the visit...but also Sherlock.

Jerico got off the carriage,she lifts her eyes, and enola gasps.

They ran to eachother hugging the other.

--Oh my god!its you!

Jer smiled-- hey been a while.

But Sherlocks eyes are there, stuck like glue to his sisters childhood friend.

--Sherlock?Sherlock!snap out of it!-- microft yells in his ear.

--I heard you the first time brother...no need to yell.

They approach both women.

--microft,Sherlock!--jer hugs the detective with a huge smile-- there you are! My my youve grown to be a lovely Man

--And I see youve flourished into a most beautiful woman

He holds her hands, kissing her knuckles.

Enola huffs breaking the moment by grabbing jericos arm--lets get to my lodge and talk, shall we?...

--Why,of course!--the woman bows and locks eyes with Sherlock, winking at him--ill see you gentlemen around...

And so off they went.

The detective sighs dreamily as he sees her leave.

-- I heard you got into some trouble--jer said sipping idly from her tea.

--Well,the adventures of my teenage Years are behind me..

They meet their gazes and burst into laughter.

--Ive missed you--the english woman says.

--Me too..

--So,i see your people are getting ready for something big

--Yes it is...this Year is the year of the big revelation, I cant wait

--Neither does the press apparently-- Both women chuckle.--I saw you looking at my brother with bedroom eyes

--well he is quite the looker enola, what can I say?

Enolas face contorns in disgust,Rolling her eyes--i cant Belive you have a crush on my brother,youve known him since we were kids, plus hes an old Man

--Well I wouldnt call it a crush, just interest

--Im sorry to be the one saying this to you,but your taste in men is questionable...

--You dont like me being interested in your brother at all, do you?

--Can we just-- change subjects?please?

Jeri nodds--Ill take that as a Yes

Meanwhile Sherlock was back at his Office,aparently jerico Will be with his sister the whole day, well he cant blame them,they were very close and he imagines they wanted to catch up.

But what are these New feelings in his chest?,he could barely speak when she talked to him, and those eyes, they had him eating form her hand.

Maybe its just that he missed her too, or thats what he wanted himself to think;even though he was foolishly hiding the true feelings he felt.

He puts the letter down,jericos family couldnt Keep away could they?.

--Jericos dad wants me to work a case for them, why?why now?....

And somehow he decided to accept the case.

He went to their house the Next day, at the crack of dawn.

The beautiful garden was full of flowers,he could barely recall them all.

The big Stone mansion seemed to reach the Sky, plants growing on the old old house.

And of course....those sunflowers infront of the entrance.

Its cold.

--Oh its you Sherlock...

--Yeah missed you too vica

Vica wasnt a fan of Sherlock...since jericó was sixteen, but kindly made him come into the house.

--Oh Sherlock!--Illa, vicas partner greeted him with a hug--The tea is ready,master von terra is waiting for you in his study

--And jerico?

--Sleeping,the trip here left her very tired...

--going overseas is very tiring , alright could you show me to míster Von Terras study illa?

--Why of course!

The long flight of stairs Led to a long Passage way, they Turned a corner and in the end was the gloomy Office of jericos father.

Sherlock entered and sat infront of him.

--Sherlock...welcome...--the Man turns in his chair to meet Holmes--Im glad you accepted the case...

--Yes,but I have to inform you sir, that I am more of a detective, I solve crimes, not a private investigator...

Jers father was always very scary and serious.

--Yes well...I suspect you didnt accept the case because of money, did you?but thats besides the point, lets talk bussines...--he gives Sherlock a folder-- look mister Holmes,this is something very serious, something very important for humanity itself, we need to make sure it all goes smoothly,understood?

Important to humanity itself?now he was interested.

--Yes...mister von terra,I understand...

In another room jerico woke up to vica, patting her back.

--Okay wizquepu--they say--wake up, get cleaned up and rest, we have some guests over

--Hmm...--jerico said,sleepily--thanks void...

--Youre welcome sweetheart, I picked a nice dress for you to wear at breakfast

--Dress?-jer sits up on the bed-- who is it?

--Someone whose also excited to see you, come on now

Vica stands up, leaving the room.

Who the hell could it be?.

--So you see Sherlock,i cant disclose what it is...--Von terra said.

--If you dont tell me I cant help...

--Do as youre asked mister Holmes and you Will be greatly rewarded...head to the dining room,my daughter Will join Us for breakfast and I expect you to be on your best behaviour...

Sherlock bites his tongue but nodds heading outside.

Ray turns his back looking at the chimney.

Sherlock hears him mutter as he leaves the room-- the fate of humanity rests on this encounter...

[drangues]

It’s okay buddy, we all make weird typos now and again. Anyways, both of those make sense! Shibusawa is definitely the type to make a deal with the devil, as you said- Or the dragon, as the case may be- And Chuuya would probably have to willpower to combat a literal god of destruction. In which case... Perhaps Shibusawa would be Greed or Gluttony? Since he collects abilities (if I’m remembering correctly) and wants to be perfect? Or thinks he’s perfect??? (Nyanon, 1/5)

Whereas Chuuya... Maybe Pride versus Wrath? Hm. And nO I WONT IM NOT. But anyways, Mori and Fukuzawa hating each other’s techniques even though they technically,, TECHNICALLY. Both work, moral ambiguity aside, is. One of my favorite things, haha. Also I really do want them to be friends, or at least begrudging allies, because half of the time the interactions the two organizations have are Golden. I love it. And! (Nyanon, 2/5)

TO BE FAIR, at least at first, the most experience Atsushi would have with flirting would probably come from books, so like? He could be a bit oblivious, god knows he hasn’t realized any of the canon crushes people have on him. Either way, poor Dazai being unable to catch a break between Atsushi’s natural density and self worth issues and his own past tendency to flirt is. SO fucking funny, and I bet poor Kunikida gets calls at midnight from Dazai complaining about it. (Nyanon, 3/5)

Also I bet the flowers as a gift would kill him EVEN MORE, someone help this man. All of that aside, onto the next AU Concept: Have you heard of the series Danganronpa? It’s cool if you haven’t, it’s kinda like a visual novel, murder mystery style game? Sixteen students have to kill each other, your friends die horrifically in ironic ways, despair, hope, evil geniuses, yada yada- What I’m curious about is how you think the ADA- And other characters! (Nyanon, 4/5)

Would survive in the aftermath of one of the biggest events in the timeline. It’s called the Tragedy for short, but it’s fill title is the “Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History.” Basically, the world goes terrible because an unparalleled genius is bored and gets another unparalleled genius, who is also bored, to help her end the world, because it’s apparently possible to get high on bad feelings here??? Basically, ADA surviving a brainwashed apocalypse world. (Nyanon, 5/5)

shibusawa being greed and gluttony work ! and so does chuuya’s. fukuzawa and mori should definitely be bedruging allies, i think why mori takes the more “bad” side to deal with ability users is because he was pretty harshly treated by his own parents and he believes that kept him in line (kinda like how some people who got abused by their parents say it was for their own good cause it made them into a respectful person while others will be like No What The Fuck)

i read a fanfic once that said something among the lines of atsushi not believing the romantic stuff happening in the books he reads would ever happen to him, which is why hes oblivious and that is sO SAD but dazai is Determined to somehow get his message across until kunikida flips and asks atsushi out FOR dazai.

AND YES IVE HEARD OF DANGANROPA I WATCHED THE ANIME FUCK YEAH I LOVED THAT and hmmm i think the only one who wOULD survive is dazai cause i dont think he has a problem to immediately switch to living selfishly, But, since he would survive in a world like that, i definitely think then that atsushi would survive cause he would constantly follow dazai around and listen to his every word, chuuya is too bitter to let himself die before dazai, akutagawa doesnt wanna die because he doesnt wanna be seen as weak and wants to impress dazai at some degree ( A N D is too bitter to die before atsushi), kyouka would follow after atsushi and somehow live because atsushi would protect her 

but yeah dazai is the only one who can adapt to the horrible corrupt society and play their cards meanwhile atsushi is the one whos more openly defiant cause of his good moral code (but dazai has to teach him to Keep It Down)

IM SORRY I ONLY WATCHED THE ANIME OF DANGANRONPA BUT I HOPE THAT ANSWERED A BIT??

[shhh-no-ones-home]

rules of the game (2/3) chris motionless x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2 part 3

i couldnt just leave ya hanging right? ;)

(usually I do a different part every day but I think this story deserves to be posted in the same day so here it is, enjoy)

Song: a little less sixteen candles a little more touch met by fall out boy

tag list: @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @thisplace-ishaunted @joeybarber @ryansitkowskiswifey @musicsexandpizza69

+++++++++

I watched Chris out of the corner of my eye as he drove me home. I kept picking at my pocket, thinking about if I really wanted to let him go through with the bracelet rules. Of course they were stupid, and putting them on you never really think about them actually breaking but here we were. It was an accident after all. I sighed heavily.

"Hey Chris?"

He tapped his hand on the steering wheel along with the song.

"Yeah?"

I looked out the window at the passing buildings.

"Could we go to the look out instead?"

When he stopped at the stop light i looked over at him.

"You wanna go to the look out?"

I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Not ready to go home yet."

I looked ahead as he kept driving.

"Okay, yeah we can go to the look out. If that's what you want."

I tapped my hand nervously on my thigh.

"Yeah."

i heard his blinker and watched as the trees came into view. the look out was way back in the woods, hidden away from the rest of the world. most of our classmates had notoriously made it the make out spot for a while but it was otherwise a nice get away. it was also supposedly haunted by teens that had been pushed off the cliff sometime in the late 80's but it was just rumors. often times chris and i had found our way to the look out to sit on the roof of his car and watch the sky or even just talk for hours on end. it had sort of become our spot after everyone else moved the make out spot to the park across town. guess they didnt like the idea of ghosts watching them get hot and heavy. his car drove wobbly as it went over the gravel entrance, making its way to the dirt trail. when the cliff came into view i let out the breath i didnt realize i was holding in. i was actually contemplating this. he parked and looked at me but i didnt look back, i just got out like i always did.

"so are we talking or chilling?"

he asked from his side of the car, watching as i climbed up onto the hood and sat in front of the window.

"not sure yet."

he laughed a little before coming to sit next to me. i inhaled deeply, the smell of the woods surrounding us filling my senses in the best way possible. the sun felt warm on my skin and i couldnt have asked for better weather. the breeze swung around us, pulling my hair off my shoulder as the trees rustled in the background.

"isnt it beautiful?"

i asked, noting the clouds rolling overhead.

"uh yeah i guess."

he said making me laugh a little bit and shake my head. i scooted over a bit and laid back against the windshield of his car, crossing my hands under my head.

"have you ever thought about kissing me?"

i asked, not moving my gaze from the clouds moving above me. one of them was in the shape of an elephant and made me smile.

"is this about the bracelet? i told you we didnt have to-"

"just answer the question chris."

i cut him off, turning my head to look at him. he was looking down at the space between us.

"yeah. yes. i have."

i nodded and looked back up at the blue sky.

"so have i."

he raised a brow.

"wait, really?"

i sat back up, scooting back up the hood a little bit.

"well yeah. ive always wondered what it would be like. like a lot of times i just shake it off cause i kind of think about what it would be like with a lot of people but for some reason youre the only person i consistently think about it."

"huh."

he said, looking ahead of us and thinking.

"like not in a weird way, of course, but like i guess youre just my best friend and i spend the most time with you so i guess you on my brain a lot."

"right."

he said nonchalantly. then he looked over at me.

"so does that mean you want the hickie?"

i shrugged.

"i dont know what i want anymore."

then he leaned towards me and kissed my cheek. my eyes were wide despite the conversation we had just had.

"i mean, id gladly oblige."

i looked over at him half smiling at me. damn i was really gonna do this huh? i pushed forward and kissed him quickly, barely a peck on the lips. he was quick to retaliate though, bringing his hand to hold my face and kissing me for real. it was soft and gentle as he moved his mouth against mine. i sighed out as he pulled away.

"is it shitty to say that was my first kiss?"

i said a bit bashfully. he smiled widely at me.

"no, not shitty. its cute."

he said endearingly. i remembered when he had told me he first kissed someone. he was so excited but it was just a peck, nothing more nothing less.

"how bout that hickie though?"

i asked, feeling the blush creep its way to my face, the cool breeze feeling better now on my heated features.

"we can work up to it."

he said with a wink, scooting his body closer to mine. i wasnt exactly sure what that meant but it made my stomach flip. i looked down as he laced our fingers together.

"lets start off slow."

he said quietly, like he would break some kind of untold rule if he spoke above a whisper. i nodded as he leaned forward and captured my lips in his again. it was slow and smooth, kissing him over and over again almost felt like the sensation of warm caramel melting as you ate it. it was much more different than i thought it would be but it was nice. we slowly made out, building up until he pushed me down against the windshield, resting his one arm above my head and continuing to kiss me. i wasnt sure if this would go further but i liked the idea that it might. i knew for a fact neither of us had been with anyone physically yet and that scared me. his movements got a little more needy as he began kissing me a little rougher, trailing his free hand across my throat. i moaned into him before he started kissing across my jaw. i tried to steady my nervous breathing as he made his was down my neck.

"chris."

i sighed out. he just hummed against my skin as he began sucking and biting it, holding me loosely in place. i could feel him getting closer to my body, not that it was necessarily possible, he was already practically laying on top of me. he moaned into me as i felt his hand start slowly moving further down. i grabbed his hand and he froze, looking up at me. i sat up immediately and swung my legs over the side of the car, breathing deeply and running my hands over my face. he placed his hand gently on my shoulder.

"im sorry y/n, i shouldve asked if you wanted more. you didnt exactly say to stop, i thought you were enjoying it. i just, im sorry."

i shook my head.

"no, its fine. i thought i did but maybe i was wrong."

i turned to look at him.

"well you at least got your hickie."

he laughed nervously, making me smile at him. i turned back around and kissed him reassuringly.

"thanks chris."

he looked down at my lips quickly before kissing me again.

"any time."

then something hit him in the back of the head, making his hat go flying. it scared the shit out of me, making me scream. he held me to him, looking around at what couldve done it but there was nothing there.

"i think the ghosts are mad."

he nodded quickly.

"i think youre right, lets go."

i nodded back before he let me go, both of us getting off the car. i picked up his hat and slid into the passenger side, buckling my seat belt as fast as i could as he turned the car on.

"okay no more making out at the look out."

i said a little shaken, reaching over and putting his hat back on him.

"yeah i think youre right. late night conversations yes, kissing absolutely not."

i laughed a little bit before leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"who knew a bunch of teens would be mad about other teens having a little fun."

he laughed at my comment, side eyeing me as he pulled back out onto the main street.

"maybe thats how they died."

he said, winking at me. my face went straight and i shivered at the thought.

"well, they do say go out with a bang."

he looked at me for a second before we both started laughing hysterically.

"whatever, if you wanna go out with a bang im sure we can arrange something."

i smiled in amusement at his comment.

"glad to know theres an offer there."

i watched him as he turned down the street to my house.

"we're officially adults now, i can offer whatever i want."

when he pulled into my driveway he just looked over at me, staring at me with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"if youre waiting for a kiss goodbye youre not getting it."

he pouted a bit before leaning over the center consol and tickling me.

"what? no kissy wissy? not even a wittle one?"

he joked, as i squirmed, screaming and laughing as he attacked my sides with his finger tips.

"alright! alright! just one!"

i said, making him stop. we both laughed as he continued holding onto me. i leaned into him and kissed him deeply. when i pulled away i stroked his chin gently.

"goodbye nerd."

he smiled widely at me.

"goodbye loser."

he let me go and popped the door open for me. i pushed it and got out, looking back down into the car at him.

"ill catch ya on the flip side."

i pointed at him.

"and youd better be at graduation practice next week."

he crossed his heart with his finger before holding his hand up in the air.

"and miss out on making fun of the principle giving the end of year speech? unheard of."

i shook my head and moved to close the door.

"bye chris."