#ive got a someday waiting and ill try to be patient

[seijatachiis]

rambling about how much i love my bf bc like. i wont say that being in a relationship saved my life bc i feel like thats dismissive for aro people, esp as someone who was questioningly aro for so long. but i think for me. for me i needed someone. i needed someone to pick me. someone to pick me FIRST because ive never had that. ive never really had someone just be so. willing to love all the parts of me.

my bf isnt perfect. i mean presumably. i can name one flaw and its not even his fault so it doesnt count (its he stanky sometimes but people sweat and people have bad morning breath its just life). but i just. have never felt so at peace with someone. i am introverted but i could never tire of being around him.

the thing i love most about him is that he created a safe space to talk about emotions and shit. he was patient, he gave me space, never pressured me into anything. he never ridiculued me, never said what i was feeling was stupid, and he waited for me to reach the answers on my own time. it was an open line of communication. like when people say communication is important for a good relationship theyre so fucking right.

we've been dating almost a year and have never fought. i believe we will someday. but because he always made me feel safe in talking about whats on my mind, we always always talk. we communicate. probably overcommunicate. but we identify issues before they arise. and work together to overcome them. he's definitely got adhd and maybe autism and ive got executive dysfunction and probably adhd so we're actively working together.

idr who it was there was a man on tiktok who talked about his wife and her adhd and how he never gets upset or mad because he knows its how her brain works and he doesnt wanna stress her out more by being upset. THATS the energy i try to bring to our relationship. when the bf forgets to do something, ill just do it. because i know it wasnt intentional that he forgot. idk i just love him and we're both trying to make things work.

arguably we're both being too considerate of the other but thats bc trauma we both have. anyways i love my bf :3

[ittybittybumblebee]

Thinking about how ever since i was really little ive always wanted to be an amazing artist someday but

Thats not really a goal i can really ever reach being my own worst critique my work is never gonna be 'amazing' to me, but maybe i can at least someday in the eyes of a younger or older artist be an inspiration. I want to inspire someone. I want to be someones favourite artist.

I want to be like the kindof artist that i would see art from when I was young, and think 'i want to do that' because of them, i wanna be that for someone. I wanna someday be someone who can make someone else passionate about art and drawing. Do you feel me.

[moon-bunny24]

Not Without You

I don’t remember when we first met, just that whatever sky I was looking up at, you were by my side.

For me the world and it’s frivolities have no meaning, no flavour, no taste..and with that understanding, I was close to going under in the current of exsistance, to let my conciousness spread and fade into the either.

You, you look at the world like its fresh, and new brimming with possiblities, oh how I loved the way you lied about the world.about being “alive”.

I envied you, whether God was singular or plural was of no consequence for you, you were the God of your own reality.

Maybe that’s why I follow you through every world, I want to see you conquer life, to bend reality to your will, honestly you fail more than not, but the fact that you get right back up makes the victories ten times as sweet.

I remember once, when you closed your eyes, for what at the time felt like forever,you said, we would play again someday, in those rolling feilds that streched on forever, next to that dilapidated church, where the rainbow glass sparkled so prettily.

who would have known that we would keep our word...until we didnt

It was an agonizing life, a void that I didn’t know could ever be filled..a life that seemed to go on forever.I can’t remember how that life began, as with any life lived before..but I remember on that battle feild..where I threw away the weapon that no longer had the means to keep me safe..I walked into a clearing that was a rare sight, an obvious trap, and the place where I would meet my fate. the explosion didnt hurt as much as I thought it would...I knew I was missing a limb but for the life of me can’t recall which one, memories are funny that way..like fate..I felt the wind before I heard the distinct sound of a chopper through my ringing ears. I felt myself float up,and on to a gurney, my thoughts only on the fact that they were wasting there time on a dead man, then my eyes found you, I  didnt know your current name, but I knew you..funny that I would meet you in the end, but I went satisfied with the fact that even if you didnt “know” me..you still cried for me...I knew I would follow you forever...

Then there were the times I got to stay in your life in an important way, sometimes I got to be your friend, sometimes your sister, even your father a few times, but nothing compares to being your big brother,you would follow me everywhere, asking all sorts of questions..in exsistance, Ive never felt more important than when I was your brother.

Even when we come upon a life where i die first, ill patiently wait for you, Just when I think youve forgotten me, I catch you crying alone, away from your family.Just how much happieness have I gotten from your suffering, and everytime I try tell myself to only die after you,but apparently you don’t like that very much,which reminds me, thanks for giving me the permission I needed to let go, or in your words “it’s ok, I won’t be mad” it was what I needed to hear,keeping that body alive past it’s time was painful, but i would have fought for one more day if that was what you needed.

Even I if I die..I’ll wait for you, so live, have fun, do the things you set out to do becuse lord knows you goals are never ending..enjoy life..don’t worry..I wont leave without you..no....not without you.