#ive gone from scared to curious with this character

[gifti3]

Phenix is just endlessly nutting while set on the homescreen

His situation sounds like a curse to me, but he seems to be enjoying himself! But can u imagine living like that....endlessly feeling that much ecstasy nonstop

Does he get the urge to eat (FOOD)? I mean he has to. Hes burning up so much energy

Is sleeping hard for him? Thats the perfect time for ur mind to wander so i feel like hed struggle with quieting his imagination

hed probably have to listen to podcasts to fall asleep or maybe he just nuts so much that eventually he passes the hell out

[disabled-dragoon]

hellow, quick question if I could yoink a little of your time good person.

So I am developing a game that centers around a main character who uses mobility aids. I have worked with my team to develop some game mechanics that I want to make sure are not going to end up being offensive in some way or a misrepresentation of disabled people. I am physically disabled myself but ive always been too scared to actually use mobility aids and nobody else on the development team uses mobility aids. So as the same person I am, I have gone on to tumblr (the obviously best choice for this matter) looking for opinions from people who use mobility aids. You do not have to awnser if you do not feel comfortable, or if you know of a better place to get insight on this matter that would be greatly appreciated.

So the main character is an ambulatory wheelchair user. And uses forearm crutches when not in a wheelchair. They have the super power to control metals which they use to create mobility aids for themselves on the go. One of their moves is to covert one of their crutches into a sword temporarily to attack enemys. They will also have a dash feature while using a wheelchair chair. The last main feature would be the main character having to use a wheelchair when their health gets too low.

thank you so much for any feedback that you are willing to provide I appreciate it very much!

Thanks again,

Your favorite disabled anon sibling

Oh this sounds so interesting!!! I hope it goes well for you!

I don't think I can give you a lot of advice, unfortunately, especially regarding crutches (I've used them briefly before but it's been a while), but I do have some thoughts on the concept as a whole!

So first thoughts:

Love the sword idea. I'm curious as to how the crutches turn into a sword (I'm imagining either a handheld sword, or a long sword), but I love it. That sounds amazing.

Wheelchairs can be used as a small bit of extra storage, like a little bag on the back or a basket on the bottom. It's kind like a separate storage system/storage expansion. Like in RDR2 where you can store things on the horse, but can't access said storage unless you're on/next to it.

Storage on wheelchairs is still a bit limited due to weight restrictions etc. (depending on how realistic you want to get, although I suppose that could be counteracted with the metal powers). Also, it's a bit limited when using forearm crutches in terms of being able to carry things.

Does the character travel across a world? Encounter different environments? Consider how the aids would be affected in different areas i.e. crutches don't work well on ice/slippery surfaces, wheels are slightly better but lose traction easily. Some wheelchairs don't do brilliantly in windy areas and sometimes struggle on grass and sand (unless designed for that environment).

Love the metal powers, that sounds so cool! I think, if possible, it would be interesting to see if they can upgrade/change their aids as/if their power grows over the game. I.e learning how to make different upgrades, like sand tires and ice ferrules (crutch feet).

Some people like to customise their aids to make them more personal, and crutches and wheelchairs aren't suited to every situation so it would be interesting to see how/if they could use their metal powers in this way.

What do they do when there isn't much metal, or do their aids sort of act like a personal supply? What if it breaks?

Do they have the option to use a wheelchair even when their health is not low?

Is their power affected in any way by their health and vice versa? Does it rely on their energy and/or stamina?

Because of their metal powers, can they disassemble their aids when not in use i.e. could they deconstruct/fold the crutches away when in the wheelchair and vice versa. I think that would be pretty cool. Give a whole new meaning to travel aids, and could make storage easier.

And some posts for consideration:

What wheelchair users want: Some good notes on this post. Basically being like "we also want unrealistic wheelchairs. Fast and the Furious wheelchairs. Mad Max wheelchairs." I love the dash function in the wheelchair, and if you were looking for other ideas this could be good to consider.

Accessible Wordbuilding: Some good advice on how to make a world more accessible for a disabled character.

Personally I think @cripplecharacters is an excellent blog to check out if you want more insight into writing mobility aid users, and disabled characters in general.

Writing Wheelchairs: This is a really good post (with examples!) about different types of wheelchairs, for different purposes and environments.

Crutch Pose References: A video showing different pose references for forearm crutch users.

Crutch Pose References 2 Sitting Edition: A video showing more crutch poses, sitting down this time.

Character Example: If you're looking for examples of cool characters who use wheelchairs and forearm crutches together, can I direct your attention to Charlie Webber/Sun-Spider, a Spiderman with EDS!

--

If anyone else has anything to say on this please just add on.

Ahh this sounds so cool! I really hope it works out for you!! Good luck!

[doggirlhen]

i just finished spiritfarer, actually properly finished. its impossible for me to talk about this game purely subjective bc its so. close to me. and my lived experience. putting this big long thing under a keep reading, warnings for discussion of death and whatnot as thats the prominent theme of the game, and spoilers for the game probably

please excuse the messy, rambly writing, im very tired and very very emotional about this sad boat game and just need to get my thoughts about it down before i go crazy

impossible to not cry at the end. i bought this game around 2019 on my switch, fresh after two or three big familial deaths. picked it up here and there but could never get myself to the end, either being to busy or it being too much for me. i finally found some time now, after owning it on PC for a year or two, to sit down and let myself experience it.

this game treats the passing of loved ones with such respect and care and the grief that follows so beautifully. even the characters i didnt much care for i felt heavily about when it was their turn through the everdoor. it blends this grief with gameplay mechanics so well, and doesnt ever let you forget those close to you. almost every character either has a resource you can collect because of them, their spirit still there when you need more of it, or theyre the ones who had you build the crafting station to make materials and youre reminded of them when you step in the door. i found myself making sure i had everyones favorite foods stocked in my inventory well past their exit. and to really hammer it in, everyone gets their profile marked in the stars when theyre gone.

stella's job is to take care of people, but shes always felt like a vessel-type character to me, as ive had my dealings with the loss of loved ones and those around me and found it incredibly easy to wear her shoes.

moments that really stood out to me were atul not letting you take him through, you just find his flower on its own. so heavily touched me, a man whos only ever cared for you not letting you see his struggles because he knew thats all youd devote yourself too. stanley, letting the weird kid take it the only way a kid could, curious but scared but you were holding his hand. i cant even begin to talk about daria, shes new to me and i can only hope no one can relate to her story but feel for her just the same. gwen, god i could go on about gwen. all the characters feel so lively, so real, all dealing with whats ending them as best they can.

the one that got me the most, though, was astrid. my grandmother on my moms side passed in 2019, so already getting me with a grandmother character but astrids story and motivations remind me so much of her and one of her lines at the everdoor, "dont forget me or i'll haunt you" sounds exactly like somehting my grandmother would say. tears pouring out of my eyes only beat by the end of the game as a whole. such a beautiful story

and beautiful game, too. breaking from the sad stuff for a bit to say the art and music are so beautfully crafted and touching, every character design and choice of animal so perfectly selected. look at darias profile how can you not fall in love immediately. look at her :3

just. please play this game if you have any sort of feelings about grief and loss. its touched my heart several times in the years since 2016 after lots of familial death and covid. its a bunch of different games at once, largely a resource management and crafting game but the story is so well written and the visuals are beautiful and im soon to buy the soundtrack because i always need it with me

this game means so much to me and will forever be on my mind, one million thank yous and tears to thunder lotus games and everyone involved.

[transsexualhamlet]

okayokayokay i have like. Q U E S T I O N S because i have *wanted* to read no longer human but have been afraid to SO -

1) what's it like? what do u think of it? im sooo curious 👀

2) do u think that asagiri-sensei based bsd dazai sorta off the book more than off the actual authour? i seem to remember reading that once but i dont remember if it was speculation or not

3) .......just infodump as much as you want, really; im Curious™️ and it looks like ur having fun with the book XD

p.s. - have fun with crime and punishment; thats a book ive DEFINITELY been meaning to read (but i havent had time to yet djfjdjfjf)

AHHHHHHH HI TYSM I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK. I read the entire book in 2 hours before going to bed like four days ago, though it probably wasn't the best time to do it, that shit is nightmare fuel

I'm just gonna preface this with I know basically nothing about the actual author other than what's in the book, also I read the manga version (the junji ito one, yeah) so yeah I'm not sure how much that differs from the original text.

So for how much he based it off of the book vs the actual author, I couldn't really tell you- no longer human is somewhat of an autobiography, so I'd say that those work together. (it's complicated, bc the main character of no longer human is not actually dazai, but dazai is there, and they like??? basically say that that character and dazai are like actually the same person???? and they like, switch places at the end?? its really confusing, but basically, I'm treating the mc of no longer human as dazai himself.) The important stuff about the author that I know of worked into dazai's character is all in no longer human too so,,, yeah. I think saying that it's based more off of that book is probably true, though I don't know what asagiri was thinking.

But about the book itself- Yeah uhhhhhh seriously, I don't really recommend reading no longer human if you have much of a sensitivity to basically anything, especially the graphic novel version because when i say graphic novel i mean Graphic there is so much nudity, sex, s/a, addiction, violence, Mental Illness of all types, religious trauma, obviously suicide, and frankly just visually horrifying stuff

So everything under this is gonna be under a cut just cause Uh Yeah It's A Lot and i do not want to subject everybody to it

But reading it was certainly something I am glad I did, because it did teach me a lot about dazai and how he was created, as well as confirming a lot of theories I had about him that can't be confirmed or denied in bsd canon.

Like me and my friend were just like examining his character and kind of coming up with ideas about him- like we both agreed that he had Motherless Energy TM and that his dad had to have been an absolute fucking piece of shit. Also, we thought that he definitely had to have had A Lot of csa trauma and probably issues having to do with his neurodivergency when he was a child.

Literally all of that ended up being true within the canon of no longer human, so I was kind of impressed that we were so right?? It makes me feel better for thinking a lot of those things, especially since they're just Pretty Fucked Up.

But yeah its. No wonder he turned out that way when he was So Autistic and Masking So Much And So Badly and with absolutely no guidance as how to deal with his neurodivergency other than just fucking let anything anyone wanted happen sooooo he got raped, as a kid, like. A lot. A LOT. And basically ended up thinking that because of this all humans were just horrifying awful monsters and yeahhhhh things pretty much went downhill from there

I don't have a ton of time so you can send me more asks about it lol this is just barely scratching the surface this thing is pretty intense

A lot of other things that I think I can apply to bsd dazai as well, tho they're not gone into that much in the canon:

-This dude is like always fucking drunk or high, cause he just cannot stand being sober that much. He's a serious alcoholic and actually addicted to opioids and I cannot think that much differently about dazai. He's got issues.

but there are a lot of differences between Dazai and the no longer human mc, though there are enough similarities that this is definitely the dude he was based off of.

The main difference is that the no longer human mc is actually just a good guy. He's made a shit ton of stupid fucking mistakes, but he's trying to be a good man and he feels awful for the things he's done, which, I really cannot say Dazai has. Dazai is not a good man, I think everyone knows that. He doesn't really care that much lol

-both of them are like. Weirdly popular with women. Which is hilarious but like, with Dazai he doesn't really take it seriously, and he actually flirts with women. The no longer human guy like. He doesn't hes just like Tragically Attractive and women want to be with him and he has no clue how to say no so he just ends up being a whore bc hes socially useless. It causes a lot of problems bc hes like constantly cheating because of this lol.

-Dazai has a much more poetic view of it all? The no longer human guy is just fucking suffering and hes like why is this happening to me im so awful and i bring misfortune to everyone around me and its not fair and he wants to die and everything but it's not at all in the same way that Dazai does. Dazai acts more like an author than him, in the sense of his "I want a death that is narriatively satisfactory and I want to know the meaning of living by seeing the worst of it and observing how it is to be a human" yeah that's not the same at all. No longer human man really just doesn't understand them and is just. Not having fun

-Also, it's really the thing about Dazai having such an utter lack of religion compared to his original counterpart. Like, the main thing that kept this dude alive for so long was the fact that he had so much religious trauma and was constantly guilty and worried he would go to hell and basically scared of everything. Bsd dazai is like, nearly the opposite, he's the kind of dude who was born and raised atheist, and in the kind of way that he's trying to basically come up with his own meaning of life and religion to follow, whereas the original is struggling to live with one that's been perscribed to him. Both are Very Neurodivergent but it was, handled differently

And yeah i really do have to keep this short, you can totally ask me more and I have a lot more to say but one thing I want to bring attention to is the fact of something they do have in common- their masking. It's a big part of no longer human, about how the mc doesn't understand social customs and what is acceptable or how to talk to people or seriously be happy, so he basically comes up with this "clowning" which is basically, make a fool of himself on purpose all the time so people will never take him seriously or think he's good or smart. That's something dazai completely does, wholeheartedly, and something that fucks him up bad in no longer human. And I think that could be examined a lot more deeply, this dude has issues and so many of them are related to autism. God, I have so many thoughts but aghhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope u enjoy

[honeyhan-123]

Say Thank You XV

Series Summary: Nearly five years have passed since Steve Rogers saves your life without so much as a thank you. When he sees you again by chance, he makes sure that he’ll never let you go and maybe teach you some manners in the process.

Series Warning: This will be a dark!Steve fic with stalking, kidnapping and manipulating as well as non-con and dub-con situations. Please don’t read it if you don’t like that sort of thing.

Chapter Warnings: Smut, angst, major character death, me being a lil’ bitch. 

Word Count: 8.0k (yikes)

AN: So sorry about the delay but there was so much I wanted to include in this chapter and we’re here finally. 

I. New York ~ II. Madrid ~ III. The Apartment ~ IV. The Trip ~ V. The Basement ~ VI. The First Lesson ~ VII. The Waiting Game ~ VIII. The First Attempt ~ IX. The Darkness ~ X. The Truth ~ XI. The Syndrome XII. The Meeting ~ XIII. The Mission ~ XIV. The Reunion

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

XV. The Battle

Your thighs ached as Steve helped you dress in one of his t-shirts. It swallowed you just like the rest of his clothing did but you didn’t mind. His scent was heavy on the shirt and it gave you an odd sense of being home. The cotton white towel that had been wrapped around his waist as you dressed fell to the floor, piling in a heap. 

You watched the firm muscles of his back shift, rippling under his skin as he moved, bending over to pick up his discarded suit. You admired the sight of his glorious firm backside as he dressed and even when he was done, you still marvelled at him. 

The suit had changed a lot since when you had last seen it during the battle of New York. You had always thought he looked a little like he had just come straight from a comic book but the way the dark material clung to his form had your cunt clenching in need. Gone was the bright royal blue with the blinding red and white stripes, in their place was a much darker look, definitely more fitting for the man before you now. 

His lips brushed against yours softly, his arms wrapping you in a warm embrace. You buried your head into his chest, nuzzling against the material. ‘Steve?’ Your voice was meek against his chest, timid in the sparse room. 

‘Yes Sweetheart?’ He tried to coax you, urging you to confide in him. 

‘I’m scared.’

‘I know you are Sweetheart. But it’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay.’ Steve felt awful for lying to you, in truth he had no idea what was going to happen. But he did know that he would do whatever it takes to keep you safe. No matter what. 

‘C’mon Sweetheart, the others are waiting and we need to get to Wakanda as soon as possible.’ He held your hand as he tried to lead you from the room but your feet were locked in place. Both he and Bucky had mentioned the African country but you didn’t quite understand why. 

‘Wakanda? Why are we going there?’

‘Bucky told you about the Infinity Stones right?’ You nodded your head, slightly confused as to how it all connected together. ‘The Vision has one of them implanted into his mind and so to get it out we need somewhere with a top tier science lab and I know just the scientist to help us.’ You nodded again, thankful that he had actually spoken to you unlike when he had just left for that mission. And yet, you couldn’t get out of your head how you had had to prompt him to share information. It shouldn’t be like that, not really. He should willingly offer it, he should want you to be a part of his life. Just like Bucky had when he had calmed you down, telling you all about the mission that Steve was on. The one he had spoken about so vaguely… 

You squeezed your eyes shut, as though you could squeeze those thoughts out of your brain. You didn’t want them there, especially when you had Steve standing right in front of you, his warmth seeming to seep through his hand to yours, warming your entire body. 

This time, you allowed him to pull you from the room, leading you through various different hallways until he reached a hangar. ‘So glad you could finally join us Captain.’ You heard the sarcastic call emanate from somewhere inside the jet and you knew the voice belonged to Rhodey. Your cheeks heated as you approached the rest of the team, Rhodey had clearly realised why Steve had taken so long to fetch you and so the others probably had as well. 

Bucky smiled thinly over at you as he arrived, his small black gobag draped over his shoulder. ‘Hey Buck, I just wanted to say thank you for looking after my girl.’ Something flashed too quickly for you to register in Bucky’s eyes at Steve’s words. 

‘Yeah sure anytime pal.’ His eyes briefly flickered over to you before returning to Steve’s as he was pulled in for a hug. Bucky forced a smile once more before hastily turning on his heel and heading towards the jet. You didn’t have long to wonder at Bucky’s strange behaviour before someone else approached. 

‘Ahh, so this is why you were so impatient to get home.’ You could clearly hear the teasing in the infamous Black Widow’s voice as she approached, extending her hand to clasp yours. ‘I’m Natasha.’ You smiled thinly, nerves eating you up as you gave her your name. 

The next person to offer you their hand was Sam and he definitely made you feel far more at ease than the super spy had. His smile was bright and genuine as he took your hand, asking Steve teasingly where he had been hiding you away. Oh if only he knew.

As Steve tactfully evaded Sam’s teasing, your eyes flitted over the jet, watching as the rest of the team readied themselves. You felt Steve’s arm wrap around you as he tried to bring you into the conversation. You withheld your sigh but nestled in against Steve’s side, enjoying the warmth that emanated from him. Thankfully his conversation with Sam was cut short by two others arriving. They introduced themselves as Wanda and Vision and before you knew it, Sam had the hangar doors open and the jet in the air. 

+

The flight was silent for the most part, your hand in Steve’s as he ignored the quizzical looks the others sent the two of you. While he had given them a simple explanation, calling you his girlfriend, he skirted the other questions fired at him. Everyone seemed to drop it except one. It sent shivers down your spine, the way her piercing green eyes roved over you, seemingly searching through your soul. 

You knew that Steve had been on a mission when he had found you again in Madrid and you wondered if she had been there too, at least that would explain why she had so many questions and struggled to accept your relationship. There was another possible reason but you didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to have to deal with the self doubt and insecurity it brought with it. 

As your stomach churned with thoughts of Natasha’s bright green eyes, you felt another pair on you, searching through you. Your eyes flickered over to Bucky and where he sat, opposite you and Steve in the body of the jet. Melancholy seemed to radiate off of him as his gaze was transfixed on your entwined hands. 

If Steve noticed his best friend's demeanor he didn’t say or do anything. Instead, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you into his warm embrace, resting your back against his firm chest. It was warm and familiar, bringing a soft smile to your face. ‘You should try and get some sleep Sweetheart. It’s going to be a long flight.’ You hummed up at him, your eyes drifting closed. The even expansion and contraction of his chest mixed with the soft thump of his heart lulled you to sleep. 

+

When you awoke a chill had settled over you. Steve was no longer holding onto you and as your eyes drifted open you saw him leaning over Sam’s chair, staring fixedly out the windshield. He muttered something about co-ordinates that you didn’t quite catch and you felt a jolt as the jet dipped down until it was almost in line with the trees. 

‘I hope you’re right about this or we’re going to land a lot faster than you want to.’ You locked eyes with Bucky in a mild panic as you heard Sam’s words. The jet continued to sink lower and Bucky crossed the jet, coming to sit next to you. 

‘We’ll be fine. Steve knows what he’s doing; he’s done this before.’ He murmured the words to you, his hand coming up to slowly rub your back, soothing you. 

You barely had a chance to nod before you felt a jolt through the jet and your eyes squeezed shut, certain that you were about to die. Yet, no pain came. No screaming or wailing as the jet crashed into the trees. ‘Doll, you can open your eyes now. It’s okay.’ Slowly, you allowed Bucky to coax you into opening your eyes, you jaw dropping slightly as you did so.

Wakanda was unlike any other place you had ever seen before. Where there once was acres of unruly trees, now stood a gleaming city. Sure, you had read about it in the news and Steve had told you a little bit about it but his words had not done the place justice. You stared in awe as the jet flew over a large body of water before coming to hover over a landing pad, the bay doors slowly opening. 

Steve turned away from the cockpit, surprised to see you so close behind him but he smiled, taking your hand as he led you from the ship. ‘Wakanda really is something huh?’ All you could do was nod in awe, your eyes struggling to adjust to the bright sunlight outside. 

You noted the procession waiting to greet you, T’Challa in front with a hoard of women clad in red, holding sharp spears. You followed a half-step behind Steve as he approached the Wakandan King, holding out his hand. ‘Seems like I’m always thanking you for something.’ The king smiled and as they shook hands. 

‘And who might this be?’ His gaze turned curious as he locked eyes with you, practically hiding behind Steve’s immense frame. 

Steve introduced you and you gently took the hand extended by the King, warming up to the man as he smiled genuinely down at you. ‘I was wondering if she could stay, perhaps with Shuri while she worked?’

‘Of course Captain. Any friend of yours is a friend of Wakanda.’ Steve smiled at that, making way for the others to greet T’Challa. 

‘Ahh, the White Wolf. How have you been?’ You were slightly confused by the greeting he gave to Bucky but the other man merely shrugged. 

‘Could be better and I wish I was returning on better circumstances.’ The two men nodded gravely before the king’s attention was drawn to Bruce as he stepped forward, bending into a slight bow. You watched as Rhodey tried to hold in his laughter as T’Challa awkwardly informed Bruce, whose cheeks had a definite pink tinge,  that that wasn't a part of their custom. 

You couldn’t hold back your smile as you watched the display but it was soon lost as they started discussing strategy. Although you knew little of what to expect, it sounded like they were planning for a full on invasion of enemy forces. A chill went down your spine as you remembered the last time aliens had invaded Earth. If it weren’t for Steve’s arm wrapped around your waist as T’Challa led you through the halls of his palace, you weren’t sure if you could have handled the fear that thought brought with it. 

You had well and truly lost track of all the turns and twists you had taken as T’Challa pushed open a large set of double doors, revealing what even you could tell was a state of the art lab. Inside you could see a girl, a woman really, she only looked a few years younger than you, working on something but quickly her attention was snatched by your group. 

Your attention waned as she and Bruce spoke about the Vision and how they should properly disconnect him from the stone. The science terms they rattled off with ease floated over your head and looking around at the others it didn’t seem like you were the only one slightly lost. 

‘T’Challa, I don’t suppose you have some spare bedrooms we could use? According to our calculations they should be arriving tomorrow - probably in the morning sometime.’ 

‘Of course Captain. I’ll have some people escort you to our guest wing while these two work.’ Steve smiled in thanks and started leading you from the room, the rest of the team following suit except for Wanda, choosing to stay by Vision’s side. 

‘Do you think Bruce and Shuri will get it done before they arrive?’ Sam’s melodic voice broke the silence as you walked. 

‘We can only hope they do. Otherwise I don’t know what we’re going to do.’ Steve’s thumb rubbed circles on yours, his nerves very apparent as the group fell back into a silence. 

Eventually you ascended to what was obviously the guest wing T’Challa had mentioned and Steve led you to the first room he could find. ‘Why don’t you go and settle in Sweetheart? I’ll be right back. I just want to talk to Bucky real quick first.’ You nodded and reached up to give him a short peck before heading inside, wondering what could be so desperate.

+

Steve’s knuckles rapped on the thick wood as he stood in the hallway, his gaze longingly fixated on the door which you had just disappeared behind. No matter how badly he wanted to be with you right now, he knew he had to talk to Bucky first. Something was clearly on his mind, he had been off ever since Steve had returned from the mission. 

He heard a soft voice call for him to enter so he pushed the door open slowly and peered around. At first it didn’t seem like Bucky was there and just as Steve was about to turn around, he noticed the open balcony door, allowing the cool night air in. 

Bucky was leaning on the rail, his gaze fixated on the Wakandan skyline but Steve knew he sensed him, standing in the doorway. ‘Hey Buck.’

‘What do you need?’ It had been a while since Steve had seen this side of Bucky, the strange detachment. 

‘No Buck. What do you need? You’ve been acting off ever since I got back from Scotland. What’s going on with you?’ Steve heard a long sigh, Bucky’s gaze refusing to move away from the city.

‘It’s nothing Steve. I’m fine, just stressed about tomorrow.’

‘That’s bullshit and we both know it. Is it…’ Steve broke off, not quite sure if he wanted the answer to his question. ‘I know I haven’t been spending much time with any of the team and especially you recently and I’m sorry about that. But I feel like my girl and I are finally in a really good place right now and now that she’s met the rest of the team, things will change. I promise we’ll both be around more.’ At his words Steve noticed the almost undetectable tense of Bucky’s body. ‘I thought… I thought you liked her?  Did something happen?’ 

Bucky cursed at how easily his best friend could read him, forcing his best fake smile. ‘No, nothing happened, she just missed you, a lot. She’s a real dame.’

‘Buck…’

‘Steve, everything’s fine. Just go be with your girl, we all need to get some sleep.’ After a terse silence, Steve finally receded, bidding Bucky a goodnight as he left the balcony, heading back to you. The city lights reflected in Bucky’s eyes, the feeling of disgust that Steve’s visit had only intensified churning around in his stomach. How could he tell his best friend that he was acting weird because he was jealous?

+

You didn’t hear the door open when Steve returned but you felt the dip in the bed as he pressed his body against yours, his arm wrapping around you and his face nuzzling into your neck. His lips brushed feather light along the skin sending shivers down your back. 

‘What were you doing?’ All thoughts of sleep were thrown out the window as he pressed even closer to you, hot and hard underneath the silken sheets. 

‘Just talking to Bucky.’ Steve breathed against your shoulder blade, his hand pushing his shirt up above your legs.

‘How is he?’ Your response was immediate, concern for the man you barely knew taking over. 

Steve’s hand stilled between your legs, trying to talk himself out of asking the question forming in his mind, but both you and Bucky had been acting weird. The need to know won. ‘He’s okay. Did something happen while I was gone?’ He didn’t need you to respond, feeling your body tense against his was enough of an answer for him. 

He pulled away, his hand that had been wrapped around you pulling your body with his, forcing you to face him. ‘What happened?’ 

The man staring back at you was a stark contrast of the one that had crawled into your bed five minutes ago. His azure eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched as his mind raced, already suspecting the worst. 

‘Nothing really. I just - I just missed you. So much, you have no idea. And then I couldn’t sleep, I had one of my nightmares and Bucky was there. He woke me up and brought me back and he was so warm. I-’ You cut yourself off, not sure if you really wanted to finish that sentence but you knew it would sound better coming from you instead of Bucky. 

‘You what?’ Steve’s grip in you tightened, his fingernails digging into your tender muscles. 

‘I asked him to stay with me.’ You admitted, you voice small as it came out. 

‘And then what?’ 

‘And then nothing. He held me and I fell asleep. He just - it just made me feel like you were still with me.’ You hand reached up, cupping his cheek as you tried to explain why you had done it. ‘He’s just warm and big like you and I was scared and you had left me alone. I didn’t know where you were or what you were doing.’ After a long pause, Steve gave a miniscule nod, his jaw still clenched but his eyes no longer narrowed into slits. 

‘I understand. As long as that’s all that happened?’ 

‘Of course Stevie I -’ You cut yourself off from saying that. No matter what that stupid muscle in your chest told you, you weren’t quite ready to say it to him yet. ‘Nothing else happened. The next morning  he got your call and then we went to the compound. We’d barely been back before you joined me in the shower.’ You hoped the reminder of your shower escapades was enough to put him back in a good mood. You had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow and you didn’t want to spend this last night together arguing, yet… you did want some answers. 

‘But while we’re being honest with each other…’ Your hand trailed down his chest, drawing indecipherable patterns, your eyebrows furrowed as you thought over your words. 

‘What Sweetheart? What do you want to know?’ 

‘At the compound… before the shower, I kind of maybe went snooping through your stuff and I-’

‘You found my sketchbook.’ 

‘Yeah. There were a lot of drawings of me but… we only really met after the Accords… after you had moved out of the compound.’ You didn’t know much about Steve’s life post the Accords and before you but you knew he would have moved out of the compound. 

‘Well… I mean, we actually met in New York during the battle there, nearly six years ago now. Do you remember that?’

‘Of course I do. You saved my life.’

‘Yeah I did. I remember it so vividly, fending off those Chitauri and then finding you, lying trapped under that car. Even in the heat of battle I knew you were beautiful, a proper dame. But then when I had to leave and you didn’t even say thank you… I don’t know. It just reminded me of all those other women Bucky had tried to get me to date but they had never paid any attention to me, just like you and it got to me.’ Your heart broke for him as he re-lived the neglect he had felt for all those years. 

‘You haunted my dreams and everytime I stared at a blank piece of paper, the only thing I wanted to draw was you. I became increasingly obsessed with you, with finding you and teaching you some manners. And then I did... but somewhere along the way it became more than that. I fell in love with you and I know that this wasn’t exactly the best way to start the rest of our lives together but I can’t change the past. I can only hope that you find it in you to forgive me. I love you Sweetheart, so much. You have no idea how it would destroy me if anything ever happened to you.’ 

Your breath hitched as he said those three words, the same ones that had been bouncing around in your chest for the past few days. An achingly long silence stretched as you considered what to say in response. 

‘You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s a lot to process and if… if you don’t think that you could ever love me back or forgive me… well we could, I mean, you could… you could leave.’ Steve didn’t know how on earth he managed to choke the words out. He could feel tears threatening to pool in his eyes at the mere thought of you leaving. He knew there was nothing he wanted more than a future with you and if you left it would kill him, but he also knew that he couldn’t force you into the future he wanted. He wanted the big wedding, the kids, the growing old together. He wanted it all and try as he might, he couldn’t force you to want it with him. He didn’t want to build this life with you only to have you resent him every day for the rest of your lives. 

Your head spun, whiplash at his emotions confused you as he peered at you, his eyes reflecting just how vulnerable he was right now. He had gone from not-so-borderline jealous about Bucky to confessing his love to offering you a way out. Did you want a way out?

‘Steve… I-I can’t say those words back to. I’m sorry. I wish I could but I’m just not ready.’ The way the small bundle of hope in his eyes seemed to die tore at your heart strings. ‘That doesn’t mean I don’t want to though. What you did was wrong and so incredibly fucked up and if we’re going to continue, we need to have a serious conversation about our expectations for where we go from here and now just isn’t the time for it. Maybe after all this is over we can have that chat?’

‘Of course. Anything you want. I think that sounds like a good idea.’ Steve would agree to anything if it meant you would choose to stay with him. He was determined to fix this mess he had made. ‘I know you said you can’t say it but I really do love you.’ 

You smiled at his words, the pure emotion shining through as he spoke. ‘I know.’ You smiled as you leaned up, your lips pressing against his. It was slow and soft even after you had crawled on top of him, your thighs spread out on either side of his impressive chest. You drank each other in, your bodies slowly coming to life as you rocked against him, feeling him grow once more. 

His hands drifted up, bunching his t-shirt up above your waist and then swiftly pulling it over your head and throwing it into some corner of the room, far, far away. Just like always Steve was mesmerized by you. With the moonlight drifting in and dancing along your skin you looked like a true goddess and Steve couldn’t believe that he even had a chance with you. 

His hands gripped your ass, moving you against him slightly harder as your tongues seemed to merge. All he could sense was you. Your taste, your smell, your body against his. You were his whole world. 

Gently, he rolled over, switching places with you, leaning on his elbows above you. He gently pushed some hair off of your face and out of the way, his eyes boring lovingly into yours before diving back in. One hand snaked its way down, underneath the band of your panties. He cupped you there. His fingers coating themselves with the slick pooling there before slowly inserting themselves into you, one at a time. 

The fire was slowly igniting in your belly as he curled his fingers this way and that, stroking you right there, bringing you to life. His lips brushed over your skin, making their way down your neck and over your breasts. Your fingers curled in his hair, burying themselves in his locks. Your back arched up, pushing your chest further into his mouth and he rolled your nipple between his teeth. 

‘Steve,’ You were breathless already, his name barely falling from your lips in a plea for more. And Steve gave you more. 

His thumb pressed down on your clit as he continued to thrust his fingers into you and with his mouth dancing over your skin, you couldn’t hold back. You pulled his face back up to yours, forcing your lips against his as you came, gushing over his hand. His mouth swallowed your moans, drinking them in until you couldn’t even think any more. 

You felt his tip brush against your pulsating clit, circling it a few times before inching its way down to your entrance. Steve’s eyes were locked on yours as he gently pushed in, pausing every few centimeters, relishing in the way your walls squeezed him so tightly. When he had finally made his entire way in, he couldn’t help but groan. It felt so right. Being here with you, knowing that he had a chance at a real future. Even though the world could end tomorrow, Steve couldn’t find it in himself to care. This moment was perfect. 

Eventually he started rocking his hips, your own moving with his, meeting him halfway. He cradled your head in his hands, his lips meeting yours once more, needing that feeling of connection. 

He could feel your fingernails digging into his back, your hands sliding in the sweat forming. His thrusts grew in speed and force. He was sure to angle his hips, making his length brush against you there.  You were so warm and wet, your velvet walls squeezing him so tightly. He could feel your slick dripping down, spilling all over him and coating your skin. 

Steve breathed in your air and one hand disappeared down to where your bodies were connected. He rubbed his fingers over your clit, playing with the small bundle of nerves. The ever-tightening coil in his gut told him he didn’t have long to make you cum. 

‘Sweetheart… baby please. Cum for me, cum on my cock.’ His voice was deep, a long groan against your lips as he pleaded. ‘I love it when you cum with me Sweetheart. You take my cock so fuckin’ well and my cum… god you have no idea how hard I get knowing it’s inside you.’ 

The pleasure was growing too much, the feeling of your walls clenching around him told Steve that you were close too. With a final circle of your clit, Steve felt you come undone underneath him. Your muscles tensing as you screamed into his mouth. He felt your hands slide down his back, gripping his ass as he came, your walls squeezing him like a vice. He thrusted once, twice, three times into you before stilling. 

He pulled back slightly, pride taking over at the fucked out expression on your face. In the heat of things some hair had clung to the sweat coating your face so he gently brushed it back out of the way. ‘I love you.’ It was soft and he didn’t wait for a response, pecking your lips once more before pulling out and rolling onto his back, dragging your body with his. 

His arms wrapped around you, his hands over your stomach. When he felt you try to stir in his arms he just pulled them tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Even though you hadn’t opened your mouth yet, he knew you wanted to discuss tomorrow. ‘Shhh, Sweetheart. Don’t worry about tomorrow, just sleep. I’ll protect you, now and always.’ He felt you nod against his chest, your lips breaking into a smile as you got comfortable. 

He himself eventually drifted off, a smile on his face as he thought about the future you were going to share. 

+

‘My King.’ The same woman you had met yesterday entered the hall. Her golden armour gleaned from the sunlight spilling in from outside. 

‘What is it Okoye?’ T’Challa asked, even though everyone sitting at the breakfast table knew what she was about to say. 

‘They’ve entered the atmosphere. We have maybe twenty minutes until they arrive.’ A sombre mood fell over the group, leaving their meals half eaten as they departed the hall. You followed along after Steve, his hand gripping yours tightly, a firm scowl on his face as he thought. While the others turned to head downstairs towards the armoury, Steve led you upstairs, towards Shuri’s lab. 

He knocked on the door before entering. The room was just as it had been yesterday, Shuri frantically working over Vision as Wanda watched over nervously. Both women barely spared you and Steve a glance as you entered. 

‘Shuri, how long will it be?’ 

‘I’m working as quickly as I can. Do you know how many neurons there are in the brain?’ The princess sassed back, but Steve paid her attitude no mind. 

‘How long?’ 

‘Another hour or two but I would be working much quicker if I didn’t have you distracting me.’ Hey eyes raised up, looking Steve square in the face. He nodded and turned back to you. 

‘Everything’s going to be okay Sweetheart. You’re going to be fine. But just in case something happens, I want you to have this.’ He handed you the gun that had been strapped to his thigh. 

‘Steve? What? I can’t - I don’t know how to use one.’ 

‘And you won’t have to use it but I need to know that if in the rare case something happens you can protect yourself. I won’t be able to focus out on the field if I know you might be in danger.’ You nodded, hesitantly taking the gun from his hands. It was heavier than you had expected although you had definitely never seen this coming. 

‘This is the safety. It’s on right now but at the first sign of trouble, you flick that switch and then you point and shoot. Never ever point it at something you don’t intend on shooting. Do you understand?’ You nodded, a chill settling over you. 

‘Okay, Sweetheart I love you. You’re going to be fine.’ You could barely stand still, your body threatening to collapse as fear plagued you but you managed a nod. His arms wrapped around you, his warmth and his scent were comforting. His lips even more so as he kissed you lovingly. He had to leave all too soon, a silent conversation with Wanda as she promised to look after you and one last glance as you before he was out the door, heading down to the armoury. 

+

Steve’s nerves jittered inside of him. It was that weird sense of calm and stress that he always felt before a big mission or battle. It gave him an odd sense of comfort. He was as prepared for this as he would ever be and while he would’ve preferred if you were somewhere far away, he knew Shuri and Wanda would help protect you. Not that anything would happen. 

He stepped forward, walking with Nat and T’Challa to where he could see his pals from the train station the other night. 

‘Where’s your other friend?’ He heard Natasha tease and he wanted to shake his head. Now was not the time to provoke these guys. 

‘You will pay for his life with yours.’ The one with blue hair promised, a glint in her eye. ‘Thanos will have that stone.’ 

Steve's jaw clenched, his resolution staying fim. ‘That’s not going to happen.’

‘You are in Wakanda now. Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.’ T’Challa chimed in, determined to protect his country. 

A smirk came over her face as the king spoke and Steve didn’t like the smugness that radiated off of her. ‘We have blood to spare.’ With a grunt she lifted her sword skyward and the half a dozen ships opened their doors. 

Quickly Steve and the others backed away to where the troops stood in formation, getting ready to fight.

‘They surrender?’ Bucky’s low timber sounded in Steve’s ear and for a moment he was taken back to the forties, to the last time they fought together on that train. 

‘Not exactly.’ 

The crowd watched on in silence as the dog-like aliens galloped through the treeline, out onto the field, not stopping even after the first wave had been decimated by the protective barrier. 

‘They’re killing themselves.’ Okoye muttered under her breath, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. Steve couldn’t help but agree. He too couldn’t take his eyes off of the animals hurling themselves at the barrier despite how gruesome it was. 

The few that managed to make it through the barrier were easily disposed of. The Wakandan soldiers fired from their spears and Sam and Rhodey flew overhead, dropping various grenades on them. The roar of Bucky’s machine gun rang in Steve’s ear.

Steve watched as the animals seemed to diverge, splitting off around the edge of the barrier, making to circle the city. His fears were confirmed by Bruce in his comms. ‘Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there’s nothing between them and Vision.’ Between them and his girl Steve added in his mind. 

‘Then we better keep them in front of us.’

‘How do we do that?’

‘We open the barrier.’ Steve and T’Challa shared a look as the other man called the princess.

+

Steve’s  blood pounded, his heart thumped wildly in his chest. His sweat made his hair cling to his forehead. They were easily outnumbered but what made the battle so difficult was the clear lack of fear shown by the animals. No matter how many Steve killed, more kept coming at him, unafraid of what they had seen him just do.

While he liked the shields that T’Challa had given him, he wasn’t quite used to them. It was times like these when Steve really missed his shield. It would have been useful now, being able to throw it around instead of using purely just hand to hand skills. Although, the sharp edges of the Wakandan ones were handy for stabbing. 

Steve felt himself airborne, a large something crashing into him before he was pounded into the ground, two of the aliens on top of him. Hastily he kicked out, swinging his arms wildly, chopping off limbs as he fought to get them off.  However, when they finally collapsed next to him, he barely had a chance to regain his senses before five more were in their place. 

He struggled to breathe, an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia flowing through him but he knew he couldn’t afford to panic. 

Through the sea of bodies surrounding him, Steve could make out a great flash of colour and he was momentarily blinded by the light before he felt a sudden lightness. The mutts that had been on top of him all lay in pieces at his sides despite him doing nothing. Sitting up confusedly, he glanced around, thanking whoever was out there when he saw a familiar Norse god. 

He hastily stood up, rejoining the battle as he slowly made his way across the field to where Thor fought alongside what looked like a tree and a machine gun yielding racoon. 

‘New haircut?’ Steve called over the battle. 

‘I noticed you’ve copied my beard.’ Steve smiled, nodding slightly. He had missed these mid-fight chats. He watched in amazement as the tree reached out, his arm forcing its way through half a dozen mutts. ‘Oh by the way this is a friend of mine, a tree.’ 

‘I am Groot.’ In all his time Steve had seen a lot of weird things but a moving and talking tree probably had to make the top ten list. 

‘I am Steve Rogers.’ He felt it only polite to introduce himself to the tree before getting back to the heat of the battle. 

+

Your gut twisted and clenched, your anxiety was through the roof as you watched the scene unfold from the lab. Wanda had tried to help, to keep you distracted but she herself was clearly worried about those that she called her family. When the rainbow tunnel had come down from the sky, you had worried that it was more alien ships but Wanda had just smiled. ‘It’s Thor. He’s here to help.’ 

You had heard of the god of thunder before and it did definitely help your nerves knowing that Steve had a god on his side now, but still… there were a lot of enemies. 

The ground seemed to shake beneath you, Shuri’s instruments rattling on shelves as you glanced around confusedly. ‘What was that?’ 

‘Oh no… look.’ Wanda pointed out the window, where you could see the treeline slowly disappearing. The ground visibly shaking even from this distance.

‘What is it?’ 

‘I’m not sure… it looks like -’ Wanda’s voice cut off when the ground erupts. Long drill-like structures spring up in the middle of the field and what little relief Thor’s arrival had caused vanishes. You race over to where Shuri stands arranging Vision’s nerves away from the golden stone in the holograph. 

‘How much longer Shuri?’ 

‘I-I’m not sure. It’s complicated.’

‘We don’t have much longer!’ Your voice is shrill, panic flowing freely through you as you thought of Steve fighting down there with the hoards of animals. 

You turn back to the window, needing Wanda to calm you down but she’s no longer standing staring out at the field. Instead you see a glowing red cloud swirl around her as she flies down to join the battle. 

Your heart sinks as you watch her go but you couldn’t blame her. Even though you knew absolutely nothing about fighting you would do anything to be down there with Steve. Not knowing whether he was okay was killing you. 

The clang of metal drew you from your worries as you whipped around. You had no idea how he had gotten there but standing in the doorway was a pale blue giant of a man. You watched as the member of the Dora Milaje that had been stationed with the princess charged the giant but she barely stood a chance. Her body was tossed away within an instant, landing near your feet. 

Your heart started racing, pounding wildly in your chest and your palms were sweaty but you dashed towards the table where you had placed Steve’s gun. Your hand trembled as you switched the safety off just like he had shown you that morning. You watched as Shuri fired her own weapon before slowly raising the cool metal and pointing it at the giant’s chest. 

You took an even breath before firing. The recoil was enough to force you a few steps back but you had his attention now and you couldn't afford to waste anytime. You fired again and again until pulling the trigger did nothing, your clip empty.

Your back was pressed against the table, you had nowhere to run and no way to fight off this giant. Your death was imminent, this was going to be the end and Steve… Steve would never know that you loved him. 

Your eyes squeezed tight as you forced yourself to imagine Steve, of how he had looked last night, his voice whispering that he loved you into your ear. If you were going to die you wanted your last memory to be a happy one. 

A soft whoosh flew past your head before you heard a tremendous crash and the sound of broken glass. Your eyes peaked open just in time to see Vision as he hurled out the broken window after the giant, fighting as they fell down to the field. 

Relief like none other that you had ever felt flowed through and you made a silent promise that you would tell Steve how you felt if you both made it out of here alive. 

+

Steve’s heart sank when a whisper of red flew past him. Wanda was on the field. He had told her not to leave Vision’s side until the stone was destroyed. She had promised him that she would protect his girl. With the way things were going, Steve worried that his girl would have to end up using the gun he had given her. He just hoped she was a natural shot. 

His heart sank again when Sam’s voice called out through his comms. ‘Guys, we’ve got a Vision problem.’ Steve ran through the battle, trying desperately to get to the trees where he had seen Vision land. 

The trees blurred as he rushed past them and he felt sure his blood pressure was at an all time high. They couldn’t afford to fail now. He couldn’t afford to fail, not when he was just on the verge of getting everything he had ever wanted. 

He watched as Vision got stabbed through the chest, his form flickering as it glitched and Steve forced himself to run faster. He tackled the one that had stabbed Vision, calling out as he pushed himself off the ground. ‘Get out of here!’ He ducked a swing from the man, throwing one of his own back. ‘Go!’ He yelled at Vision when he saw that he had not moved from the tree he was leaning on. 

His brief glance back had cost him as suddenly Steve felt himself airborne, his body crashing into a tree log before falling back to the ground. Before he had time to recover the alien was on top of him, it’s hands wrapped around his throat in a vice like grip. His arms were pinned and he struggled to escape, he struggled to breathe. 

Black spots started to dance along his vision and Steve could feel his energy fade. He knew he had gotten out alive from far worse situations but lying here in the middle of a Wakandan forest, he feared this time he wouldn’t be so lucky. As his vision faded to black, it was your face he saw behind his closed lids. It was from last night when you had looked so serene, so much like a goddess sitting on top of him. With his last few dregs of remaining strength he forced himself to continue fighting, for his future, for you. 

Suddenly he could breathe again, the creature that had been pinning him down now seemed to be floating but as his vision cleared, Steve realised it was Vision. He had stabbed the creature and tossed its body away. Vision staggered where he stood and Steve hastily got to his feet, slinging an arm around his teammate. 

‘I thought I told you to go.’ His voice was hoarse and his throat stung as he spoke.

‘We don’t trade lives Captain.’ Steve smiled briefly before he noticed the odd sense of calm that had settled over the forest. 

‘Guys, we have incoming.’ Steve didn’t have to be able to see anything to know that something big was coming. He could just sense it in his gut. 

Thankfully most of the team was around him, preparing to fight with him when they saw the big cloud of grey smoke. Blue sparks crackled as the cloud grew larger and larger until a vague man shaped silhouette stood out against the grey. 

‘That’s him’ Steve didn’t need Bruce’s voice in his ear to confirm his suspicions. This was Thanos. 

‘Eyes up, stay sharp.’ It wasn’t much of a pep talk but it was the best he could offer right now and following Bruce’s lead, he charged the purple giant. Steve watched in horror as Thanos easily lifted the hulk iron man suit over his head, throwing it against the rocks where it seemed to be swallowed by the limestone. 

He barely got within two meters of Thanos before he felt his body being lifted and thrown away, hitting his head as he landed. He watched as Sam landed nearby, his wings out of commission and as Natasha was trapped seemingly by the ground. 

A glare of red in his peripheries told him that their efforts had been in vain. They were out of time and the stone had to be destroyed now. Groggily, he got back to his feet, racing to where Thanos was making his way towards Wanda. He had to stop him.

He ducked this way and that as Thanos threw punches and surprisingly managed to land a few of his own. He had realised that Thanos’ power seemed to come from the gauntlet he wore and so at his first chance, Steve grabbed the golden glove. He had to use two hands to keep his fist from closing and a yell escaped his lips from the strain. He knew he couldn’t hold him off forever but he had to at least try to give Wanda enough time. 

Suddenly his body was jolted forward as Thanos pulled his arm back, his other landing a clean blow to the side of Steve’s head. The last thing he saw was Thanos moving determinedly towards Wanda and Vision before the world went black. 

+

When he awoke he saw Thor standing before Thanos, his axe buried deep in his chest before a cloud of smoke engulfed his giant body and he vanished. 

‘Where’d he go?’ Steve’s eyes darted around the forest, half expecting the purple giant to come out from behind one of the trees. ‘Thor?’ His breaths were coming heavy and his head pounded. He was sure a couple of his ribs were broken but there were more pressing issues. ‘Where’d he go?!’ Still, he got no response from the god, his eyes staring distantly at where his axe lay on the ground. 

‘Steve?’ He barely had a chance to register what he was seeing before it was over. Bucky was walking towards him, his body fading to dust before finally disappearing, his gun clattering to the ground. 

‘Bucky?’ He rushed to where his best friend had been and where there was now just a pile of dust. His finger ran through the dust, his eyes looking back up at Thor, the realisation that they had failed finally starting to sink in. 

‘We lost. He did it.’ Steve’s legs seemed to give out from under him, his whole body was trembling. Bucky… he had just gotten him back and now he was gone again. It wasn’t fair, it couldn’t be happening. 

He distantly heard the voices of his team over the comms as they scrambled to figure out who was still alive. It was only when Okoye pointed out that she hadn’t heard from Shuri that Steve’s head snapped up. 

Before he could even blink he was back on his feet, the forest rushing past him as he raced to the palace. Nothing seemed to matter as he ran, not his pounding headache or the cut in his side that was seeping with blood. Nothing mattered but you. He couldn’t lose you too. Not now, not ever. 

+

Please don’t hate me 

Tags will be added in a reblog

XVI. The Endgame

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

[batz]

i am curious!!!! i have a Hard Time fully getting characters speech patterns down but ur??? rly good at that!!! (w the posts that uve made/rbed around talking abt whod say what that ive read and gone 'OHH' at bc it Explained A Pattern In A Way I Could Get) n i was curious if there were any specific thing abt the diff characters speech patterns that ud picked up on!!!

ok so this is probs the least useful response i could give and im Sory but its legit just bc of my autism. like i cant exactly remember what the doc said but she essentially said like. my verbal comprehension skill just rly high to th point that it makes me weird (whch is why i got diagnosed w Weird Disorder HDJDHD) and my ability to kinda Absorb how ppl speak is like adjacent to that according 2 her? bc how i mask is literally by just adopting ppls speech patterns On Purpose bc legit i have no fuckn clue how to talk otherwise LOL

ANYWAY thats why dialogue makes a whole lotta sense to me. im able to easily catch on to how ppl n characters speak and little patterns and stuff, ESP w hlvai characters..! although benrey is a pain in the ASS ive been trying to figure him out for the last little bit but he kinda wavers a lot. i also just practice writing dialogue a whole lot which helps.

i guess the best way to figure out dialogue is find those speech patterns, like uh. when and how long they pause between words, how they annunciate certain words, tone of voice, how speech patterns change depending on who the character is talking to, etc!

its pretty easy to accidentally fall into like... like bubby swearing every sentence even though he actually doesnt swear a whole lot (just a lot compared to the rest of the group, and often only towards gordon or after something scares him). or benrey being constantly antagonistic but in a way that makes sense (calling gordon cringe or havin gamer moments or w/e) when hes actually antagonistic in a way that involves him like, doing a comedic bit that specifically holds gordon back his current goal (passport/foot scanner hd/the drive thru bit). hes like the long lost 4th warner sibling in that regard. but yEAH its good to catch on if you're falling too far into almost a stereotypical version of their charactr!!! (i accidentally still do ths so yEah it can be tough, esp when hlvai characters have very distinct personalities.)

like you find those consistencies and you should be able to branch out from there and see how theyd talk in Other situations. like honestly the best way to practice writing preexisting characters in regards to diakogue is place them in wildly different scenarios and try to imagine how theyd react.

with hlvai, bc of the source material being v restrictive to, well, half life video game funny show, its natural that the characters r gonna be a little ooc in like. domestic settings. esp ones with potential emotional moments. but its moreso how u work around it ig!!!

idk tho like im jus winging it w dialogue you'll probs find better clearer anwers frm like idk Dialogue People™ HFJDDJ uhhh i could potentially write a more coherent post abt how i kinda work around ths but idk i lazy

[macgyvertape]

50 or so hours into Cyberpunk 2077

This should be roughly the correct amount of time, ive been leaving the game running as I get up to get food or do stretches. Quests are roughly in order I did them

non spoilers above cut:

 i haven't found a single hat/helmet i like, and since you can't hide them I just am not wearing any. It matters that much.

I posted the other day about bugs, every few hours I play I find new bugs. some require me to go back and reload a save others I honestly can’t tell if it’s a bug or just really poor development

there are several perks that don’t quite do what the description says, like the Anamesis perk. Based on reddit and trying it out it seems to just not do anything.

sometimes in car chase segments the passenger will say “look out” as cars spawn in my path and hit me. Can’t tell if that was deliberate or a pop in issue

Yeah I’ve just totally given up on doing pacifist things unless required by a mission. Given up on doing stealth too unless a mission objective, except for sneaking around to set up a fight.

:readmore:

the delemain car quest is fun. From the shock of the one going "beep beep motherfucker" and doing a hit and run to start it off, to the GLADOS car i see a lot of people talking about. It was fun to explore the city when i might have missed places like the landfill apparently there is follow up on T-bug's death if you go back to the quick hack shop in Kabuki. It's not much but better than nothing I made the pass with Panam of "what if the room just had one bed". I know she won't do a wlw romance, which is fine since I wouldn’t have chosen her.  I enjoy her as a character, don’t get me wrong, my V considers her as a friend, but it seems like theres always drama going on which would be tiring. I would have gone for a fling, i like her leotard-pants combo with all the straps

but also her questline was buggy as hell. Multiple cases of having to reload due to clipping into objects, including her in a driving section, or just insta-dying when collision physics with some rocks broke "your neural network can no longer function independantly of the chip" me slapping my desk: s y m b i o te!!! come on lets have some s y m b i o s i s

in the scene with hellman i really liked how Johnny moved around the room. It made him feel like he was really there. it was hard to follow the convo as I left the room, i would not have understood it without subtitles. But i guess Takemura fucking waterboarded hellman. :|

lol I hope the dialogue is different b/c i refuse to smoke for Johnny

i am level 18 and still can't beat the first opponents in the fist fighting quest. ffs

I looked up the romances options so I went to do the I fought the law quest as soon as i got it. ACAB, but like I literally just met River Ward 2 minutes ago, and I really like him. His earring and cyborg eye, his big fluffy coat. I'm definitely gonna sleep with him Ok i like how when River Ward is dealing with the tiger claws if you interject it leads to a fight. It goes better if you follow his instructions and let him deal with it. Seriously I enjoy that sometimes its good to not pick a dialogue choice.

during the red queen club part, there was no dialogue over the phone. So i reloaded a save and got myself spotted and attacked. Then River showed up to help me <3 and it was more enjoyable having him there. I honestly am not sure if him not going to the club level is bug or not.

then uuuuuugh the worst of irl police "cops are my family" from Detective Han. Again ACAB "FRATERNITY OF CITY COPS RESEMBLES A [Nomad] CLAN NOT AT ALL" ok a few minutes ago i was complaining about bugs, but the character modeling in this game is good (when they're there). You can see body posture, characters jiggle their legs when they are nervous. Like I though character A was just throwing a cigarette on the ground, but then character B flinches back; I realize Char A threw it at B as a fuck you

I'm honestly curious if "I fought the Law" quest will have any impact later on. My choices were that I thought there was more going on than Holt being the only person behind this (based on how complicated the main questline heist is, and keeping an eye on some of the in game news), and told him not to take it to internal affairs, and I loved his response of how he doesn't give a shit what we think, he's doing it anyway.

In the elevator to report in, Johnny said "this muck is deeper than you think, tell them nothing", so i just said that the case was complicated. anyway i love how much of a sarcastic asshole V is

I thought i was being nonlethal with the monk quest, but it seems i accidently killed someone. RIP, but thats kind of the problem with this game. Like when i do the non lethal cyberpychosis quests I equip my non lethal modded gun and hope for the est. I like how a go here kill things quest led to Charles the ripperdoc. He's getting all his parts from scav gang members so I felt obligated to take him out. I got a police bounty for it but w/e.

I merged the Delemain fragments with the whole. Guess he's the meta now. (Side note: some of my favorite rvb fanfic plots are Ai consiousness/memory merging with the humans, so I’m having fun with this game and look foward to introspective fanfic)

Honestly Jonny made some good points, the fragments didn't deserve to die; but also destroying the core and freeing the fragments, they couldn't really function alone.

I was able to rescue Saul fine with stealth. Using cameras and the synapse overload really made it easy.  Can't use the sniper rifle reward b/c I don't have the stats for it, and while it has a silencer the fact that it's a ricochette weapon and not a shoot through walls weapons, makes it not as good imo; and theres a legendary one that is stats free for only 100k.

Lol made a pass again at Panam, and she immediately shut me down. I then did Mitch's quest and I love every time someone tells V they area  good person.

I hacked the operation carpe noctem shard, and wow the corporations are using ai to make people have cyberpsychosis, or something like that. What a shocker /s, I've played Deus Ex HR before

lol driving through the unifinished interstate, past the fight from Panam's first quest I found a "batcave" with a very nice car, and a manifesto written by "muckman'. But here's my complaint about the loot, there is a legendary top, but it had 16 armor. My current top has 84 armor, like why would i switch?? then later i found a bunker with soviet spies in it. Wild

Doing River's second quest, love the timing of as soon as you ask, why are we breaking in, someone shows up to tell you he got kicked off the force. It's funny how Johnny comments how maybe River's into you, and V just doubts Johnny's words. Love how the first kid asks River if I'm his girlfriend. also wow like oof both the second parts of Judy and River's quest are SUPER fucked UP!! oof like i stopped doing first person mode on the braindances for those quests as soon as i could, just made me too uncomfortable seeing that in first person.

DRIVING IN THE GAME IS BAD! nowhere is it more apparent than the sinnerman quest, which took me 3 times to get the driving section done, as cars spawned out of nowhere to hit me. Then when you restart, there is a bunch of dialogue it doesn't let you fast forward through. The rest of the Sinnerman questline is interesting. My V took every option to tell the dude that he was messed up, and what he was doing was wrong. idk, I was surprised how much dialogue there was that let you buy into his whole "forgiveness thing" and how there wasn't any real dialogue to call him the fuck out, that in seeking forgiveness he continues to do harm both emotional to the mother of the man he killed, but also that he got the husband killed via cop. The later follow up quest, I told him that what he is doing is crazy, studio is just going to profit off this vid. Then I refused to join him prayer, and told him fuck no i wasn't going to hammer him to the cross, or even watch. Yes, the man is scared of dying, and the corporation is exploiting him, but he keeps creating burdens for others.  I think the discussion on this quest will be interesting to read, it's definitely my own personal experience with religion coloring my view. Anyway back to a main quest, yeah i don't trust Placide, especially in that scene where he grabs my hand, then jacks in. I ran off to do most of the sidequests here and got some criticism from him. I do love how in the cinema the western movie switches to a mission brief as the netwatch agent talks. its a fun enviromental detail.  I took the netwatch offer, i don't think he's being fully honest with me, but he didn't put a virus in my head. As I told Placide later, I didn't pick a side. I like how you can then talk with the agent, who is a fan of Western movies, b/c they show "a simpler time where all good guys carry badges" :eyeroll:, and then V recommends Unforgiven, which from the wiki summary goes against that theme.

Looks like the Voodoo boys all got killed by Netwatch, but I as revenge for them trying to set me up I'm fine with it. Honestly after speaking with ai!Alt I don’t believe their plan of trying to be on good relations with AI would work. 

doing the johnny flashback 2, and wow Johnny really is an asshole. Like I had gotten so used to him in side missions I forgot how self centered and unlikable he was.You constantly get prompts to drink or do drugs, which I ignored. But i do love the goth/punk love Rogue and others have.

lol i called it, when Hellman said that the engram would seek to override the host, put V on the engram. I really like how as the relic malfunctions, you wind up in the chair with a cigarette, which you can either smoke and say you are turning into Johnny or throw away. My dialogue "your problem is the ends justify the means", which is true!!! He and Rogue detonated a nuke downtown, does anyone know that, and like ask Rogue about it????

(Funny you can ask Rouge about Johnny silverhand, over the phone, then the game bugs out and spawns her npc where you are. She doens't say much about the nuke, but she does say no one trusts you for jobs). The line of no one trusting you for jobs is pretty funny at level 46 street cred where im at “respected” status. really loving the family atmosphere at River's 3rd quest. Also his big strong arms, and the fact he is no longer a cop. I totally let the kids win, and wow the family dinner where they GRILL YOU over the relationship and try to set the two of you up, then the water tower scene!!!!! I don't love the first person sex cutscenes but they do have personality. I'm glad afterwards you got to tell River about the biochip and that you might die. Because he's so far removed from your personal plot. So I took that option to back out of a relationship.

I do love that you wake up with "river's tanktop" that says "fuck the police" It actually has extremely good armor stats, so thats what I'll wear now.

panam 3rd quest, when shes like why did you help me, I'm like "because it's important to you". Basically the closest you can get to "when a friend asks for help you help them", which as an ex-nomad backstory I really choose the nomad options when ever i can Paralezes quest part 2! I love the piano song but I always think of it as ocean's 11 music. It's also fun to see the computer and see Judy recommended you for the first quest. The emails talk about "forgetting" to hire a staffer, on the balocony a strange antennia was scannable, the color of the roses was remembered wrong...  lol guess i was right with those giant wall screens. Its fun environmental details that spell things out before you can notice, and it ties into some other quests where people's behavior is being altered. Actually, this quest "Dream On" I love it! For a while I've been like "wheres the illuminati conspiracy! Here it IS! I chose to follow Elisabeth's wishes and not tell her husband he was being brainwashed. In best case they program him to forget again, in worst case he ends up dead. The gaslighting Elisabeth described is CHILLING, her husband describes a vacation she can't remember and she doesn't know whose memories have been messed with. On your way to the plaza you get a call from someone/something that says the know exactly WHAT you are, any you black out!!! It's such a great feeling of helplessness that you're just one person in a world so big that you can't fight every power. As Johnny said, could be a corporation, could be a rogue ai, either way Jefferson is fucked (and so are you).

[diamondcamefromhell]

Different

Elf!Reader x Jaskier x Geralt [non romantic, not even close, just a group hang out ??????? kinda]

A/N: NOT gonna ramble in this post why i’ve been gone [partially could be blamed on, well, my witcher 3 play time, lol] but i loved writing this little one shot, just taking it slow and easy, ive been super-crushing on some peeps and writing romantic fics does things to me, so prepare for a whole lot of fluff throwup heading your way

Summary: Y/N is a elf [gender not defined] in Novigrad, trying to survive as they are becoming more and more suppressed and one day great Geralt and his buddy Jaskier come to Novigrad and they cross paths

Warnings: blood, swearing, death [not main characters]

Word Count: 2,059

Tensions were rising here in Novigrad, with Nilfgaard soldiers stomping the streets, witch hunt openly burning the sorceresses in the main squares, streets grew to be a dangerous place. Many of my kind were also abused, some even killed. Pointy-eared freaks was what we were most commonly referred too, and not many came to our rescue.

Being and elf in this day and age seemed to be one of the greatest sins.

Sitting now, in a tavern by the name of Rose and Thyme I was terrified to take my hood off. It shielded me from curious eyes, and I was just drinking wine, observing a group of men who had just sailed here from Skellige Isles. They were sharing stories about how they have slain a group of sirens and fought off pirates on their way here, which I highly doubted.

They seemed just drunk, old men, carrying Skellige shields, that had no marks on them whatsoever. No signs of any fighting, just their word saying it happened. I noticed some patrons leave, as they couldn’t handle any more of the loud shouts.

The door flung open and the entire place struck silent. I followed everyone’s gaze, to see two males enter. One had white hair, two swords and was wearing armour. I immediately recognized him as a witcher, no, as the witcher. White wolf, Geralt of Rivia. Man of legends.

And his companion, clutching his lute, was a bard. Vastly growing in popularity - Jaskier. I didn’t expect them to ever come to Novigrad, doubted witcher could find any jobs here. But yet, here they were. I curiously stared as Geralt approached the Skellige men.

“Heard you’re causing trouble.” He grunts, as Jaskier anxiously glances around. I avoid his eyes, waiting to see what happens next.

“And who the fuck are you?” One of the men shouts, and in a moment of bravery, I spring to my feet.

“Geralt of Rivia, have you not heard of him in Skellige?” I say, walking closer to them, as witchers yellow eyes throw daggers at me. “Butcher of Blaviken, that sound more familiar?”

“What is a butcher doing here?” The same man speaks, and I notice him grip his shield tighter. He’s scared.

“Some people informed me that you’re causing trouble. Killed a boy by the docs out of what, boredom?” I was not aware of the killed boy. I stare at the men as they struggle for words.

“He got in our way. And who cares about a bloody elf anyways?” Heat rushes to my cheeks as I take my hood off. I hear a gasp come somewhere from a tavern, as the bard and the witcher stare at me.

“Ask that question again.” I hiss, as one of the Skellige men unsheathes his sword.

“Witcher, do your job, kill the monster!” The same man yells.

For a moment, I am taken back, as Geralt does, in fact, unsheathe his sword. Jaskier jumps out of the way, mumbling something under his breath, but I don’t quite catch it. I stare at the witcher, wondering if this was a mistake.

He is stronger than me. More talented. Trained solider. But the world sees him as a monster, a freak. A mutant, however you want to phrase it. I bet he was called an abomination more times than I could count. I related to him. And he was stronger than most elves.

He could stand up for himself and fight. In turn, I hoped he would also help me. A fellow freak and a monster.

“I’d advise you to put that sword back.” He says, stepping in front of me. Shielding me from the men.

“I guess we’ll have to do it ourselves then. Two monsters in one go.” The skelligans all draw their weapons, as I jump back. At the same time, Jaskier grabs my hand, pulling me out of the way.

“Let’s not get in the middle of this.” I hear him say, as we rush to the other side of the tavern, as some terrified patrons duck under their tables.

It doesn’t take Geralt long to slay those men. They prove my suspicion, showing that they are horrible fighters. One of them , however, drops his shield, and I see him try to flee.

I only then notice he has a pointy ears necklace around his neck. In this pure moment of chaos, it feels like I can’t see anything else. I try to imagine that poor elven boy who was murdered by these men. And we are the monsters?

I slip around Jaskier, ignoring his shouts, rushing past Geralt, grabbing one of skelligan swords off the ground. The street is busy, and as soon as they see me with a weapon, all I hear are screams. People scrambling away. But then I also see the man, rushing around the corner.

Ignoring the crowd, I run after him, with nothing but rage driving me. I know it may as well be the last thing that I do, but I didn’t care. I also knew towns guard would soon be on my trail. My time was limited, and I didn’t even know how to properly wield a sword.

But for now, it was all one step at a time, chasing the man. I followed him down the streets, as they got more and more narrow, until I saw a dead end up ahead. He saw it to, stopping and drawing his sword. I lift mine.

“You don’t know how to fight, elf.” He hisses at me. “Drop your weapon and I might consider letting you walk out of this alive.”

“I like your necklace.” I ignore his warnings, as he takes a moment to look down, realizing why I chased after him.

“I might add yours to it if you don’t piss off.” I grip the sword tighter, but it’s already weighing down my arms. I hear some rumble somewhere behind me, and I know my time is ticking.

“Why did you do it? Why did you kill that boy?” I still ask, knowing there is no time for chit-chat. I just had to know.

“We had a victorious sail here, wanted people to know that the real soldiers have landed in Novigrad.” He shrugs, lowering his sword a little, our eyes meet, and he smirks. “And we don’t take kindly to freaks. He begged us not to do it, but people enjoyed the show.”

“You sick bastard.” I hiss, leaping forward, not sure what my next action will be. He easily blocks my attack, hitting the sword out of my hands. I step back.

“Oh, I’m going to enjoy this.” He gives me a smile, as I stand there, weaponless. But not afraid.

Until someone drags me towards them and a wave of energy blasts that man to the ground. Soon, I am let go off, and Geralt steps in front, stabbing the solider, ending his pitiful life. I stare at the body, as witcher angrily approaches me.

“Are you out of your mind?” I don’t take eyes off the body, as the blood starts to pool under him.

I push past Geralt again, going to skelligan man, ripping his necklace right off his neck. I stare at it, before I turn around and hold it up. I notice Jaskier is here too, looking really out of breath. Both men stare at the ears on a string, as my hand shakes.

“I’m the one out of my mind, sure.” I say, dropping the necklace to their feet.

“I know your people are being treated unfairly, but…” I cut Geralt off before he can get another word in.

“Unfairly?! Witchers are being treated unfairly. My people are killed. Humiliated. Murdered for entertainment.” I raise my voice, as Jaskier throws his hands in the air, jumping between me and Geralt.

“What my friend meant, is that, we understand how suppressed elves are here in Novigrad. How dangerous it is to be anything but a human nowadays. It’s horrible. But foolish moves can lead to death.” I stare at the bards blue eyes as he offers me a smile. “Enough eleven blood has been spilt on these streets, and I think you’d agree with that.”

“Leave it to the professionals.” Geralt jumps in, as I take my gaze to him. His sword is still in his hand, ready to attack. “I fight monsters. And I know better then most that sometimes the monsters are the men themselves.”

“I couldn’t let him get away.” I argue, but I understand what they’re saying. “Thank you for saving me.”

“I told him to do it.” Jaskier proudly claims, puffing up his chest just a little. I look at Geralt again.

“I don’t have much coin, but I can scramble something. As a pay for your troubles.” The witcher shakes his head.

“Keep the coin. We aren’t out of the trouble yet, though.” I see him glance over his shoulder, and I remember that witchers have heightened senses. “The solider will soon be here.”

“Well why didn’t you say it sooner?” Jaskier gasps, annoyance growing in his voice. “Let’s go!”

I follow them out, as Geralt now sheathes his sword. I pull my hood up, just in case, as we slip past the crowds. Just in time, as I hear soldiers running down the street. I take the lead now, as I know Novigrad better than the palm of my hand. We dip through the streets, as I lead them outside the town. We cross the bridge with no trouble, even if Geralt has blood on his armour.

Nobody bothers us for once in my life.

I stop by my hut, as I hear crying come from another one. I know who’s home it is, another elf, an older woman. Had a son, young teenage boy. My heart sinks as I realize who the victim was. I turn to Geralt and Jaskier.

“It was her son.” I explain the weeping, as Geralt grunts at my words. Not an angry grunt, however. A sad one. “Tomas was a good boy. He worked by the docs, earning whatever he could for his family.”

“I’m sorry.” Jaskeir says, landing his hand on my shoulder. I look away, taking a deep breath.

“At least you avenged him.” I say, trying to find hope in those words.

“Revenge doesn’t lead to happiness.” I nod at Geralt’s words. I know he’s right.

“I know that. But it’s better than nothing.” I look at him, offering the witcher a sad smile. I slide my hood off again. “At least he wont be turned into a false tale of how those brave Skellige men slayed an elven warrior or something. He may rest easy now.”

“With time, so will his mother.” I scoff, turning my head to the home. The weeps seem to be growing louder.

“Sheila will not find rest without her boy by her side.”  I disagree with Geralt this time.

“A loss takes a great deal out of you, but I believe you know, there is rest even after the darkest of times.” I look at Jaskier, surprised. I now realize why this bard is growing in popularity. A poet is good at with his words.

“Either way.” I clear my throat, not ready to get emotional. “If you need any help with whatever you’re doing here in Novigrad – know where to find me. Even if all you need is a warm meal and roof above your head. I am here.”

“Thank you.” They say in unison. I smile, for the first time today.

“You’re not a monster people say you are, Geralt.” I point out, as he smiles at me. “Not that I believed those tales anyway.”

“You’re far kinder than most men too…” He stops, frowning.

“Y/N.” I introduce myself.

“Well, Y/N, you are kind and you have fire within you. Keep it.” Geralt pats my head. “We have important matters to attend to, but we will be sure to drop by.”

“I will not pass your offer for a warm meal, Y/N!” Jaskier says, waving at me as the men turn back to go to Novigrad.

With that, Jaskier’s words settle in my mind as the weeps also silence. There is rest for us all. No matter how restless we may be now.

Today, I will finally rest easier.

[wizisbored]

What are some of your favorite lines you've written for your fics? (Also I'm sorry things aren't going well right now. Sending love 💜)

right its time to go diggin im using this as an excuse to reread everything because i cant think of any lines off the top of my head even though i know theres a shitton

premptively putting a cut here because this will probably end up long as shit and you know what fuck yea to that because fuck yea to being proud of what youve made

SO

hallelujah, first thing i posted:

If those bastards want to make her part of their shitty musical, then she’s going to make it difficult. Or at least inconvenient.

The hive is not inconvenienced in the slightest.’

- idk if this is as funny as i think it is but i find it funny

"Nobody dies with dignity, Emma. There's no honour in the thing, however you dress it up."

- wrote that to sound creepy and now i cant decide whether i actually think its true

But he’s holding her like she’s his salvation, as if it’s his life hanging in the balance.

- salvation is just a good word tbh

It’s hopeless, but she refuses to be killed by a game of fucking ‘got your nose’.

purgatory, intended to be a shitpost but now i unironically think of it as the best thing ive ever written

After a few years (or maybe seconds, it’s not clear) / it takes a moment (or maybe it doesn’t, who knows?) / An undocumentable amount of time passes. /  They might have slipped into an uneasy silence lasting millenia - or milliseconds - if it wasn’t for the jolly tune that suddenly fills the air. / for minutes or years or millenia or maybe even eons / After a brief, indescribably long nap / But the incomprehensible amount of time seems somehow shorter this time.

- 2 in one of fucking with the concept of time and hinting at an unreliable narrator, hell yea. its about the weird atmosphere, baybeeeee

“Does one day of trying the hardest we could outweigh years of not trying at all?” Emma wonders aloud. Paul squeezes her hand.

“I damn hope so.”

He doesn’t ask if she believes in Hell.

- even without context i like this line but in context it really helped set the sombre tone so i could do a full 180 at the end of the chapter

Emma wonders whether they’ve been sent to musical hell for failing to stop the musical apocalypse

- love the implication that there is a hell dedicated to annoying people via musical theatre

“You said- you told her you’d never be in a musical?”

“Yes.”

“And then you died performing a musical number?”

“I- yeah, I did.”

“Brilliant! Now, that is stupid!”

- probably my best characterisation of death, sounds like something that would be said in a stupid deaths bit, i can hear it in his voice

teachers pet

“It’s only blatant if people know about it. So in actual fact this is secret favouritism.”

- hidgens gives absolutely 0 shits about the ethics of the situation good for him

“And if that is kidnapping, well, consider yourself kidnapped.”

- once again ethics simply do not matter

“Oh, where is your sense of adventure? Are you not curious about the results of washing baked beans?”

- this line hants me when im trying to make stew or just have some fucking beans on toast because I am curious about the results of washing baked beans

“Well, if it isn’t, and we both die, then I’ll be quite disappointed. We did spend all evening on this, after all.”

- priorities

finishing what we started, actually originally a scrapped ending idea for igtlt that i liked too much to abandon entirely

“How many bullets?” He eventually asks.

“Enough.”

- they just know what theyve got to do

Only thing left to say is a big ol’ fuck you to… God, everyone else in the fucking world. Oh, and God. Fuck you God, you prick.

- gotta love them tto refs

wildfire, almost 20,000 words of angst that im going to read through because fuck it why not

She doesn't understand the order, at least not yet; a dog doesn't understand the first time she's called to heel. But that can change. Though, from the bared teeth of this dog, the trader guesses it may take a while.

- this is actually something i really like doing in narration, calling a character something in dialogue or comparison and then directly calling them it in the narration

He understands; she doesn't want to show weakness to someone who could exploit her, doesn't want to show gratitude to someone she hates. But the tribeswoman is tired and scared and hurt, and it's obvious. She's broken, at least for today.

The loneliness, however, refuses to wane. It settles in her chest like a physical need, a craving for closeness.

- got inspiration for this description by thinking about hugging my partner while i was stuck in lockdown

"You can say that again," the older woman mutters, shaking her head. "God-fuckin'-damnit, Lauren, why d'you never think about the implications?"

Jemilla turns to her with a questioning look. "Who's Lauren?"

"She-" Molag begins to explain, then pauses. She thinks for a moment, then shakes her head. "I don't even know."

- crossover jokes hell yea

He’s tolerable, she’s decided, at least relatively so, but not trustworthy. If she could truly trust him then he wouldn’t be involved in all this. If she could trust him, she wouldn’t know him.

The thinly-veiled threat in his grin

She stares up at the man, shaking, whimpering, pleading. Wordlessly begging for him to stop.

- gotta love reaching the breaking point

She probably looks insane, bruised and bloody and laughing quietly to herself in a cage. She doesn’t care. They can think she’s insane, just as long as they don’t think they broke her.

laughing as they rediscover half-forgotten days spent as children let loose in a world that seemed so huge and yet so small at the same time

“You know, kids like Zazzalil - scrawny little things born as Autumn died - they’re not supposed to see Spring.”

- i will see any character without a detailed fleshed-out backstory and say ‘is anyone going to make headcannons about that’ and then not wait for an answer

Maybe the pain will shock her out of her head.

im going to live twice

It feels more like a bag of broken crockery than a human.

- this was the only time ive ever had to describe something really gory and decided to make it as uncomfy as possible

she notices with a concerning level of non-concern

Paul Matthews is gone, boy. And if I catch you using a dead man’s name again, well.

- its about the ✨forced disconnect✨

It stares at him, and for a moment he sees the young man that Benny used to be, silently pleading for the agent to tell him he'll be okay.

"In my defence, that was the Colonel's idea.” The man raises his hands in surrender. “I wanted to call you Lauren. I was outvoted.”

- i will take literally any chance to make a 4th wall joke and that is a threat

“I’ll see what can be done,” he assures it, knowing full well that nothing will be.

- xander doesnt flat out abuse emma in the way mcnamara and shaffer do but hes still cruel in subtler ways

“No chance of being hurt?”

Xander nods. “No chance of you being hurt.”

-  ✨foreshadowing ✨

If only he was free, free to just get up and go find Blue and tell her - actually tell her, out loud, with words - that she’s going to be okay. If only he could say that and have it be the truth.

She holds onto that piano. Right now, as she kneels crying into the tabletop, it's all she has.

- ‘sir thats my emotional support near-complete stranger’

smoke and feathers

Irony can be a cruel, twisted bitch.

- probably the best opener ive written

There’s a sort of pathetic irony in the fact that she slipped on a stone while wading across a shallow stream and broke her neck.

The stars move across the sky, and she still doesn’t know why.

- sounds poetic and all while also being a fuck you to the chorn twist because i hate it

It seems like every time she looks away the moon goes from waxing to waning and back again, time marching onwards in one unending night, swallowing one unending forest.

Even with her limited view of the person’s face, Zazzalil can see the softness in their expression. She’s hit with a pang of longing for Jemilla.

They share those tender looks that make Zazzalil long for home.

The kind of silence only shared between people who can appreciate the simplicity of each other’s presence

aaand thats pretty much all of em. i know when you said ‘some’ you probably meant less than this but i will give a consice answer to a question when pigs fly. i was going to do the double e au too but its past 1 am now and im going to bed. thanks for this ask because whether intentionally or not you just made me read 48,860 words of fic and thats a damn good distraction when things are getting a bit shitty :)

[eijiroukiriot]

After Months of saying i would i’m finally posting about my Kiribaku playlist! I’ve linked it before but I’ve never really gone into what the songs mean to me and how I see them in relation to the boys, and I think the explanations puts things into perspective, so I typed it all out!

This is my main krbk playlist - I also have playlists for Bakugou and Kirishima separately - and this focuses mostly on happier songs (and a few that are so ingrained into how I see them that I had to put them in anyway). I also have an angst-themed krbk playlist and post-breakup playlists for each of them! Really I just. love music and love seeing characters I like in it so this is fun for me 

Spotify Link

song descriptions under the cut!

i typed up all of this after 1 a.m. last night so not only is it very long it’s also somewhat incoherent but these songs mean a lot to me so if you’re down to read it then thank you!!

note: a few of these songs aren’t available on spotify at the moment but they’re so crucial to the Vibe that i’ve still included them here!

i. I Always Knew - The Vaccines

“So let’s go to bed, before we say something real - 

Let’s go to bed, before we say how we feel” 

-this is my Ultimate krbk song, man. the first time i heard it i was walking to class and i just had to stop on the sidewalk and take a Big deep breath. everything abt the lyrics fits them so well - i’ve talked about this before but the verses and prechoruses really capture that “being young and stupid and tiptoeing around your emotions” feeling, then the chorus hits and it just SOARS, and really, has there ever been a sentiment that fits them more than “it’s always been you” 

ii. Fly Me to the Moon/Lucky - Rick Hale

“Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore - 

Tell me I’m the lucky one you worship and adore” 

-I have an extreme soft spot for these boys and love songs. and this has been a part of my fic writing playlists for so long that it always makes me think of them. I don’t even have a lot to say by way of lyrics, this is a full atmosphere pick 

iii. If My Heart Was A House - Owl City

“Circle me and the needle moves gracefully back and forth -

If my heart was a compass, you’d be north” 

-boy if this song doesn’t make me think of bkg every time!! it’s the transition from the prechorus into the chorus that gets me - it starts so quiet, like there’s so much love inside of you that you’re still trying to keep down, and then the “bombs away” is the moment when you decide to stop running and just embrace it, and the chorus comes in so loud and strong and so thoroughly in love. call me a sap (spoilers: i do that myself multiple times here) but it really does remind me of what it must be like when bkg just...decides to let himself have this. and then i feel dumb bc this is about anime boys who are like not in love in canon at all but inside the intricate Kiribaku Canon i have built in my head oh yeah this is how bkg falls in love

iv. Knock Three Times - Tony Orlando

“One floor below me, you don’t even know me - I love you” 

-this is just the prime soundtrack for a college AU where kirishima’s dorm is right above bkg’s and he’s in Love with him. And Also, something about the bold retro vibe makes me think of kirishima, but that almost certainly a me thing! still a big bop though 

v. Intergalactic Disco - Interlunium

“So, with stars in our eyes, let’s fly through the glowing galaxies” 

-again, a big sappy atmosphere pick! i really do love the imagery in this one and the storyline of playing things off as just having a good time until it turns out the other person is as deeply in love as you are. it really is just That Song! please stan interlunium

vi. Animal - Neon Trees

“Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends” 

-the ENERGY in this song!! the loud, highkey, driving beat! the vibes of being young and stupid and stumbling through having feelings for someone equally as inexperienced with love as you are! and yet the fact that we KNOW both of them would run full-force with it once they realize they both want it! the lyrics to this one do get a bit spicy but it’s really the high school crush energy in this one that gets me 

vii. If You Wanna - The Vaccines

“I don't want to do things independently, but I can't make you stay -

That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say...but if you wanna come back it's alright”

-the ENERGY in this SONG!!!! the electric guitar and the chorus so long you think he’ll run out of breath! bkg getting so fed up with being so close to kirishima’s face and not being able to kiss it that he takes the dive and goes for it and then goes to run away until kirishima yells WAIT- IF YOU WANNA COME BACK IT’S ALRIGHT!!!

viii. No One Like You - Best Coast

“Been around this crazy world, but I still wanna be your girl - 

Cause there’s no one like you.” 

-I feel like...if krbk had a cheesy high school romcom, and everything led up to a big dance at the end, and at the very end the camera panned out as they finally caved into each other and went onto the floor to do that slow dance, this would be the song. This is their slow dance 

-seriously like 70% of the lyrics to this song are “there’s no one like you” which is really, once again, just the Pinnacle of krbk 

ix. Idfc - Blackbear

“'Cause I have hella feelings for you -

I act like I don't fucking care, 'cause I'm so fucking scared” 

-the bkg energy in this song...the self doubt and the pining but the deep-seated belief that you don’t deserve this, even though you’re so close, even though he keeps telling you he loves you- but how could he, he has to be lying, and why would you even care, you don’t care about people like this- you never have, until now...oh this song is just DRIPPING in it

x. My Best Friend’s Hot - The Dollyrots

“Won’t you apologize to me, to me, to me? For being such a tease, a tease, a tease” 

-it’s a song about being pissed at your oblivious hot best friend who you have a huge crush on! they might as well have credited the lyrics to bakugou katsuki 

xi. Stay by My Side - Twice

“I can’t hold it back anymore - 

I can’t even believe how much I love you” 

-it’s Cheesy Romance! it’s cheesy romance that’s all this is!!! this one is pure michigan cheese!!!!! 

xii. Love Line - Twice

“With you by my side, I wanna take a shot, take a walk on the love line” 

-again this is a very me pick! this one’s been sitting around on my writing playlists for a long time and i’ve come to really associate it w these Boys. the member who wrote the lyrics has said it was about her first crush and it’s generally about just. being So enamored with someone you can’t stop thinking about them. and i’m a big sap so you know where that goes 

xiii. Maybe (Luck of the Draw) - The Vaccines

“There’s nobody else like you, there’s nobody else like you -

And if there’s nobody else like you, then maybe I want to spend my life with you” 

-this one always sounds to me like krbk growing up, spending late nights both awake in the dimly-lit kitchen of their second apartment, watching the hours tick by on the microwave clock as they just talk and argue and make each other laugh and slowly realizing that this is by no means perfect but there’s no one else they’d rather keep getting old with...i feel like this is another end credits song for them, you know? 

xiv. I’m Totally Obsessed with Him - Matt Fishel

“He’s in my heart, he’s in my lungs - he’s in everything that I touch” 

-matt fishel deserves SO much more than he gets i mean LISTEN to this huge campy gay anthem about being just extremely an unapologetically in love with your big gay boyfriend!!!! i feel bad making pride anthems like this about anime boys but i’m also gay and i’m here to say that the absolute SCALE of this - the explosion of electricity and infatuation and campy guitar in the chorus - this one has BIG kirishima energy. words can’t do it justice just please please listen to this one 

xv. Slayers - Matt Fishel (again lol) 

“We’re in this together, you and I -

Hand in hand, side by side, unbreakable” 

-It’s a song about being in love with someone who you see as your total partner, you rely on each other and protect each other and you’re with each other through everything, and it’s written through the lens of a fantasy story - this one always, always makes me think of the two of them in the fantasy AU, sworn partners for life, able to rise above any challenges in their path, flying into the sunset together after a long day of adventures, so happy that it seems to make the world spin 

-this really may be the most krbk song i’ve ever heard so please listen to it, 

-i played it for my krbk friend once and when he said unbreakable they started screaming

xvi. Hooked On a Feeling - Blue Swede

“I’m high on believing you’re in love with me -

I said, I’m hooked on a FEELING!!!!!”

-picture this: class A crammed into a karaoke room for a party, kirishima standing up in front of the scream and screaming “THIS ONE’S FOR YOU BKG” and belting out the entire thing, slightly off pitch but FULL of spirit, every time ‘girl’ comes up in the lyrics he sings ‘bakugou’ really really fast (‘I CAN’T STOP THIS FEELING, deep inSIIIde of me, bakugouyoujust don’t reallize!!! what you do to me!!!!”) and everyone is whooping and hollering along except bkg who gets so red that nobody can tell if it’s angry embarrassment or in love god just so in love embarrassment 

-it’s hooked on a feeling it has such loud kirishima energy do i have to explain myself here

xvii. Everyday I Love You - ViVi (Loona) 

“If only you liked me - if only you loved me

Like a fool, I think only of you” 

-note 1: stan loona

-note 2: this song is just such a sweet picture of pining!! imagining the stolen glances and ‘hopeless’ crush feeling when (in some AU where they both have. less emotional hangups the first time they meet) they first meet,, i can’t explain it for this one even it just makes me so soft 

xviii. Crush - Weki Meki

“This feeling- like I’m losing, it’s hurting my pride

But I can’t help it, I’m so curious that I’m going crazy” 

-i’m sure you can tell by now that i. Really like kpop but the first time i read the lyrics to this one i lost it! there are really too many lyrics than i can fit here that remind me of how bkg sees kirishima when he first realizes it’s really a crush that’s making him act like this - i really recommend that you take a look at the translation for this one!! it really has it all - being mad at your crush for how they make your heart pound, feeling like it’s hurting your pride, “it’s not like me to be circling around you like this, i’m gonna make a move”, the line about how “i’ll be better to you than anyone else” - seriously, i cannot exaggerate the bkg energy in these lyrics 

xix. Kimi Janakya Dame Mitai - Masayoshi Ohishi

“I want to get to know you more and more - but that kind of line doesn’t really fit me” 

-aaaand here’s a song that radiates EXTREME Kirishima Energy!! everything from the vibrant guitar to the big belted chorus to the lyrics about being, like, confused but absolutely buzzing and just wanting to be with them - it’s loud and bright and awkward but THRILLED about every part of it!!

-it, of course, helps that the title essentially means “it’s gotta be you” 

xx. I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill

“Everything you do - it sends me higher than the moon” 

-like….is there a more classic song to associate with your favorite stupid pining high schoolers ship 

-don’t get me wrong i KNOW this one is cliche and i KNOW there’s other ships this fits better but i’m soft don’t @ me 

xxi. Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You - Frankie Valli

-legally this song is only Half in the playlist bc spotify likes taking it down and putting it back up at random but after writing fly me i can’t NOT think abt krbk when i hear it. i have no further justification 

-also imagine kirishima being loud and embarrassing and singing this song to bkg all the time

xxii. Television/So Far So Good - Rex Orange County 

“I don't know, no, I don't know what you like,

But if you're looking for something new, I know somebody that you could choose: 

What about me?” 

-what about MEEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEe 

-i think it’s that driving guitar rhythm that makes this one for me. it just sounds so...ready to take on this weird new feeling of knowing how perfectly things could go with someone if you both just took the jump. it sounds very kirishima. 

-the content does start changing as it keeps going but those first few minutes and the RAP VERSE really have such bubbly dumb teenage ‘it’s our first time feeling like this and it might be a little too serious for us but why don’t we take the leap i’m sure it’ll be worth it’ vibes. it really feels like the first “what about me???” in the chorus should be accompanied by kirishima sprinting up to bkg and lifting him up and kissing him because he’s so caught up in this feeling

xxiii. Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

“When you laugh, I forget that it’s about me 

But it’s alright - cause being your punchline still is something” 

-we all know this is a krbk song, everyone knows it’s a krbk song, my non-bnha friend who I annoy constantly w krbk stuff knows this is a krbk song, honestly do I even have to explain why? it contains the line “you could yell ‘piss off, won’t you stay away’ - it’d still be sweet talk to my ears” and we All know how whipped kirishima already is 

xxiv. Into The Storm - Banners

“Through night and dark, through fantasies that fall apart,

Know you're always in my heart, anywhere you go” 

-Unconditional love! Working through the hard times together! and knowing these two, there have been & will be no shortage of hard times to work through. it’s that loyalty and devotion that makes this one. 

xxv. Talk Too Much - COIN

“Stay cool, it’s just a kiss - so, why you gotta be so talkative?” 

-when it comes down to it bkg and kirishima are two idiot 16 year olds who have never been in love before so you know they’re gonna stumble a lot when they first get together. i don’t know how to explain it but i think this really captures that

-also i feel like this is a pretty staple krbk song! i see it on so many playlists

xxvi. If I Tremble - Front Porch Step

“And if I tremble at the sight of you, it’s not because I’m cold -

It’s because I’m staring at the girl I want to love me when I’m old” 

-that idea of the kind of love you want to last forever, knowing the person you want to grow old with...I honestly don’t like this one for them that much anymore but it Did make me cry the first time I thought about it so it gets to stay. tbh when I’m soft enough it still gets me 

xxvii. Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel

“You’re the only one worth seeing, the only place worth being -

The only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you” 

-Saint Motel is just krbk culture at this point, this is another staple krbk song. I mean, the core theme is “I know I’m an asshole but I love you more than anyone” - come ON

xxviii. Wonderful Things - Ryan Corn

“So you say you wanna grab hold - well to hold, you’ve gotta let go

Of the only way you may have ever known” 

-is this song about god? maybe. is it about krbk? Oh absolutely 

-the themes of not knowing what you’d do without the other person in your life, and looking back on the person you were able to become because of them, and that lyric up there always makes me think of Kamino - it’s just all around got the themes and I’m very soft about that

xxix. Bad Enough For You - All Time Low 

“You love to hate me when I'm chasing you, 

And I hate to say this, but I'm stuck on loving you” 

-Okay this is totally 12-year-old me talking here but hear me out: Bakugou being convinced Kirishima could never like him more than this weird half-flirting thing they’ve come to and also being scared that he’d never be good enough for him, but him as he is now is letting them HAVE this half-flirting thing, so...he keeps it up, even though he wishes he could be the one to treat him how he deserves to be treated, but there’s no way he could be Kirishima’s boyfriend anyway so what’s the point in caring (but kirishima loved him the WHOLE TIME!!! they sort things out before long lol)

-also they’re both 16 and emo so. 

xxx. Instead of My Room - Charlie Burg 

“Can't we just put on Ramones? And we'll drive

And I'll kiss you, in my car, instead of my room” 

-if kirishima wrote songs with kaminari and sero during high school, i think they’d sound like this

-the lyrics to this one are just so Fun! it’s goofy and jokey and just having a good time! i can’t make the lyrics line up as much as i’d like them to but it really just sounds like them to me 

xxxi. I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith 

“I don’t wanna close my eyes -

I don’t wanna fall asleep, cause I’d miss you, babe” 

-i have exactly 2 krbk moods and one is “they are stupid. 16 and loud and just so dumb” and the other is “this is Love love, they’re gonna live off this forever” 

-kirishima looking over at bkg fast asleep the night after their wedding and feeling so wholly in love that he cries 

xxxii. Stutter - Marianas Trench

“So here I am - you can take or leave me,

But I won't ever be anywhere but here” 

-If krbk starred in a mid-2000s battle of the bands romcom with a car chase scene this is the song that would play in the trailer (I KNOW that’s crazy specific but that’s the image I always get when I hear this) 

xxxiii. Must Have Done Something Right - Reliant K 

“If anyone could make me a better person, you could -

All I gotta say is I must have done something good” 

-i feel like i’m 13 when i hear this song but it’s really really Them

-really i think the thing that keeps me so invested in krbk is that they’re so involved with each other’s character arcs - they’re constantly making each other better people, each of them is like a missing piece for the other, and they’re both so wrapped up in their own shortcomings that they barely even realize how big of an impact they’re having on the other. but really they would never be the same if they hadn’t met. and that’s the entirety of this song’s content

xxxiv. Deer in the Headlights - Owl City 

“Tell me again, was it love at first sight

When I walked by and you caught my eye?” 

-there is literally nothing in the lyrics that makes me think of them. this one is 100% for the vibe. and also kinda the lyrics in the chorus. like, being taken aback by how suddenly everything is happening but in a very excited and enthusiastic way. things don’t go Smoothly when they confess, persay, but oh man is it memorable (and loud and sweaty and hoarse-throated but never, ever sad) 

xxxv. On and On (About You) - Bowling For Soup 

“Now you can scream about the little things, slap me twice across the face,

Man it would be great if I could buy you flowers every day” 

-this is really middle school me speaking here BUT: 

-krbk don’t exactly work out in high school and end with some big fight but with time they both realize they were wrong and when they finally meet again at a class reunion they both wanna get back together but they’re still arguing and shooting quick remarks at each other but the whole time they’re thinking “man, if i could, i’d buy you flowers every day” 

xxxvi. Mamma Mia - ABBA

-it’s mamma mia. it’s just mamma mia

-it’s also kirishima’s inner monologue every time he thinks he’s finally kicked his crush on bkg and then he sees him for 0.1 seconds and falls right back in 

xxxvii. I Dare You - The Regrettes

“I can't seem to sleep, and I feel my pulse beating

I wanna keep all my control, but you're the one that brings the sun” 

-maybe it just reminds me of the music video song in quote love unquote but the second i heard this song i was like oh yeah that’s kiribaku

-the idea of trying to catch yourself as you feel yourself falling but also choosing to make the jump in the first place! the idea that you’re taking a big chance but things are so much better together that you’re not scared! you’re even pushing yourself forward! it’s truly for them 

xxxviii. I Want to Hold Your Hand - the version from Yesterday

-like, fuck the beatles but it’s a song about hand holding. come on 

xxxix. Love At First Sight - The Brobecks

“Turn the lights off, I’m in love” 

-that lyric has happened in canon. that lyric is the context of why bkg went to bed at 8:32 pm that one time 

-it’s such a sweet mix of being scared about falling in love but also...feeling like the world just got a little brighter, and kinda letting yourself sink into it in reluctant acceptance because it just feels so good? kinda hitting the same notes as If My Heart Was A House. idk the first time i heard this i thought abt the girl i have a crush on so i was like “nope. nope. refocus this to krbk” 

xxxx. Holliday - The Weekend Run Club 

“I'd never been so soaked before

I was drenched in your arms, dancing in your downpour” 

-this was on my discover weekly last week and I put it on here without thinking about it and now I”m really listening to it for the first time and. wow. Wow. 

-you know the scenario i’ve been bringing up this whole time of taking a leap into something awkward and electric that makes you happier than you could imagine? that’s the energy i’m getting from this

-just imagining krbk being out on their first date and it starts pouring so they duck inside and they’re like “well...should we just go back?” and then realize it’s so much more like them to run out into the downpour and get soaked and kirishima’s losing his mind laughing and bkg’s like “what are you so happy about idiot” and kirishima’s just like “i don’t know. i just really like this. i just really like you” and then they’re both kinda floating on air

[solacefruit]

Hello! This is the person who wrote the one shots on Quotev — the one that anon went through so much trouble to get sent your way. If you’d be willing, I would appreciate genuine critique of my work — I’m genuinely looking for how I might improve my writing, and I haven’t been getting very much feedback. Apologies if you’re too busy or if this bothers you!

Hello there! I’m willing to give you my thoughts on your work, since you’ve asked so politely and gone to such effort, but before I do that, I’d like to preface everything by saying that I’m going to approach this answer more or less the same way I would give feedback to students in a class. I think that’s most helpful. I also hope none of this feedback comes off as harsh or hurtful, because that’s not at all my intention. 

You clearly know how to write well: your work is well-edited, with only a few errors here and there (be careful using semicolons, they can be very tricky). It’s clear you know the rules of writing, so I don’t think you’ve got a lot of room for improvement there. 

The stories themselves, though, didn’t click for me as a reader. I didn’t get pulled into the world you’ve created and I didn’t connect with your characters. That doesn’t mean that what you’ve done is bad, though! But I am going to suggest some ideas for restructuring your work that might help make your stories more dynamic and effective in capturing and retaining your reader, or showing off your skills and ideas to better effect. 

Your first story begins with the description of the character in a lot of depth, but I cannot recommend this as an opening paragraph. If you’re ever writing a manuscript, you need to remember that your first page is your first–and often only–chance to hook your reader and convince them to keep going. (Especially true if you’re sending your work to a publisher!) Because of that, a lot of good stories begin with first page or two that does everything it can to tell you who, what, where, and the tone of the book. 

Very few good stories start with the “I have black hair and blue eyes and today I am wearing a big hat” type character description, unless that is actually important–i.e., The Little White Horse begins with Maria detailing to herself what she’s wearing, because she’s vain and it brings her comfort to know she looks beautiful, which matters because… [and then the plot begins]; the first Harry Potter book describes the Dursleys in very Dahl-esque fashion, which matters because… [contrast them to the peculiar happenings of the plot emerging]. What your character does is almost always more interesting than what they look like, so it’s often a sensible idea to prioritise your narration accordingly. Both of the above examples tell you who, the tone of the story, and then what is happening, while filling in other details so you know where and when by the end of the first chapter.  

Something else I noticed in your work is that you’re a keen world-builder with a lot of ideas, but I found your stories to be a little overwhelmed by that, rather than enriched by it. This is something I’ve seen a lot in young creative writers, so it’s definitely not you and it’s not actually a fault, exactly–but it can detract from your work and make your work actually less inviting to read, rather than more, and that’s something that’s important for speculative fiction writers to be aware of. I’m currently working on a series of tips and tricks requested by popular demand, so I’ll probably elaborate more on this later, but basically, your world-building should be an iceberg: you know how immense it is, but your reader will only see a small delicious fragment of it. 

Oversupplying world-building details often makes works impenetrable or–most commonly–overshadows the characters and plot and sinks interest in the ship story. (For me, the most egregious example that jumps to mind is Foundling by D.M. Cornish but that’s a rant for another day). Your work isn’t too overcrowded, I feel, but for me, I got the sense that you used your stories as vessels for your world-building, instead of using your world-building to decorate and deepen your stories. The reason this causes problems is because people–myself included–are most often motivated to read because they relate, connect to, or are curious about characters, rather than a world. (Worlds are very fun, don’t get me wrong! It’s just that world-building tends to be most fun for the people doing it, not the people reading it). 

Finally, something I wanted to bring to your attention is style, and particularly streamlining it and leaning into your own voice. At the moment, your work is a little heavy with what I think of as “fanfiction-itis” for lack of a better concept. It’s basically an overall tendency to 1. be uncertain about what person the story is told in, or jump between views. This can be a choice! But it’s one you should be making consciously. There’s first-, second-, and third-person, but in third-person, there’s also an omniscient narration and limited narration. Each can be used to huge effect–but you need to pick the right one for the story you’re telling and stick to it. 2. over-rely on epithets and character description. Often this is a result of the above when it’s third-person omniscient. As a rule of thumb, you don’t really need to use epithets much at all. “The taller boy,” “the blonde girl,” and so on doesn’t add anything, but it does often distract and make the writing look a bit… juvenile to experienced writers. Unless the description is saying something about the character that’s worth knowing, it’s usually best not to bother with it. “The black-furred warrior walked by” says a lot less than “Blackfur stalked past, scowling.” 

3. use unnecessary or tautological dialogue tags. I’ve seen a lot of “said is dead” passed around on this site, and that’s great advice to follow if you want your work to be unenjoyable and annoying to read. Said is the most useful dialogue tag, because it is invisible to us, and many other “common” tags are likewise useful–things like asked, or replied. You only need to use a different and noticeable dialogue tag when it changes the dialogue in a meaningful way. For example:  i. “what did you do?” he queried. ii. “what did you do?” he asked. iii. “what did you do? he asked cautiously. iv. “what did you do?” v. “what did you do?” he said, but he was looking away, distracted. The first one’s dialogue tag is useless and clunky: we know he asked a question, there’s a question mark there, but unlike “asked,” queried really stands out and can break the flow of reading. The second one is unobtrusive, but doesn’t tell us anything about the tone of his question: he could be angry, purely curious, scared, who knows! The third one tells us his tone, but be careful not to overuse adverbs–that’s J.K. Rowling’s curse. The fourth tells us that, whatever he’s asking about, he’s worked up about it and it’s probably not great! The fifth is an example of how you can actually turn dialogue tags into full sentences sometimes. By being precise with your dialogue tags, you can make your dialogue really pop, and also not distract your reader. 

4. tell, rather than show. We’ve all heard “show, don’t tell” as writing advice, but there are actually a lot of times when “telling” is perfectly fine. However, broadly speaking, characters tend to feel more alive if you make them act out their personalities, rather than recount them to your reader. If someone has a big personality, you don’t need to say it: it’ll become abundantly clear from their actions soon enough!

By being aware of these things and making conscious choices–even if your conscious choices are to keep doing these things!–your strength and skill in storytelling will improve. It looks to me that you’ve gotten to the point where now you have to hone the talent you already have, which means that being precise and self-reflective about your writing style and choices is probably going to be the best course for you to improve going forward.

I hope this is helpful to you! I want to stress that all of this advice is offered in a “take what is useful to you, leave the rest” spirit. For every piece of writing advice, there’s excellent writing that contradicts it, so honestly a lot of good writing is just knowing when to follow advice and when not to, when to follow a rule and when to break it. Good luck with all your future work!

[nothingeverlost]

penny!verse. I'm curious how Belle & Gabe walk the line between a teenage boy getting into halloween and Claire being just old enough start to understand the holiday and be scared of some of the movies and things, especially given what B&G have seen because of their jobs. tricks and treats?

Apparently when I said ‘flashfic’ I lied.  Are we shocked?

Takes place about 5 years after Belle returns. Claire is a little over two.  

____________

Halloween stores were not Belle’s favorite place.  She’d seen too many skeletons laid out on coroner’s tables to be amused by the styrofoam immiations.  One aisle was entirely fake weapons, from plastic knives painted with fake blood to rubber guns that looked too realistic.  Worst were the costumes that declared ‘serial killer’ and ‘sociopath’ and ‘insane patient’ to be the perfect way to dress up.

Unfortunately she needed a costume for Claire, and didn’t have the time to look more than one place, of the skills to make it herself.  Bay, seeking a costume of his own, had decided to join the trip which meant she couldn’t just stick to the aisle filled with rainbow colored costumes.  Claire settled relatively quickly on a ‘pun-kin’ costume.  Belle wondered if Bay would be as easy to please.

“Hey Belle, you should totally dress up this year.  There’s a ton of stuff here.  Just not, you know, the sexy FBI agent costume because that would be weird.”  Bay didn’t seem to have found a costume yet; the only thing in his hands was a pumpkin carving kit.

“I wish I thought you were joking.”  She had nothing against dressing up.  And certainly she and Gabe had tried their hand at role play more than once, but the general sexualization of women’s costumes upset her.  Sometimes it seemed there wasn’t any other option and she hated the message that it sent.  “We’re only taking Claire to a few homes this year before dinner at David and Mary Margaret’s.  If anyone asks I’ll tell them that I am a FBI agent.  What about you?”

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to Gabe yet, but I think I’m missing dinner this year.  There’s this party, one of the guys in my chem class is throwing it.  I can’t decide, is Dracula too overdone or is it classic?”  He looked at his hands; Belle hadn’t noticed the fake blood container on top of the carving kit.

“Classic,” Belle decided.  It certainly was better than a lot of other options he could have come up with, and she knew that he had almost everything he’d need at home.  They just needed to find fangs and a cloak.  When she thought too much about the party, though, the hairs at the back of her neck stuck up.  He was nineteen, in college now but mercifully had decided he wanted to live at home.  He needed, even more than other kids his age, to feel like he belonged.  In high school it had been common knowledge that he hadn’t grown up the same, that school was new to him.  He was small for his age thanks to poor nutrition.  It had taken time, Gabe had told her, for him to settle in and begin to make friends.  Now as a college freshman he had a fresh start in many ways.  

She knew what could happen at parties.  Knew that kids on their own for the first time would be testing their limits.  And Halloween always seemed to make it worse, the anonymity of masks and costumes allowed people to do things they wouldn’t usually consider.  She had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him it was a bad idea.  She would have to talk to Gabe and figure out how they prepared their boy as well as they could.

Every year since she’d moved back they’d all had dinner at the Nolan’s - the first time she’s almost hadn’t gone, but Emma had talked her into coming and Archie had gone home with her; they’d watched Christmas movies for hours declaring it the start of the holiday season.  The next year she and Gabe had been together, and had come with Bay and gone back to the pink house.  Three years ago she had only just learned she was pregnant.; the next year there had been four of them.  Last year she’d dressed Claire up as a dragon and Neal Nolan had been a knight.  Emma, Graham, Ariel, and Archie had all joined her, Gabe, Mary Margaret and David was they’d taken the two around the neighborhood.  Henry and Bay had spent most of the night playing video games.  Perhaps she should have known then that the tradition was changing, but she would miss it.

“Awesome.  Give me five minutes to grab a couple of things and I’ll be ready to go.”  True to his word Bay was back in four with a red lined black cloak and an uncomfortable looking set of plastic teeth.  He also had a gold plastic necklace with a large medallion that was supposed to look gothic.  Perhaps she would at least be able to sneak in some education on the historical and literary character of Dracula. She paid for their purchases even though Bay offered to cover his own, and was relieved when they were headed home.

II

“Would you like paints too, sweetheart?  It might be safer for you.”  Belle teasingly moved the carving knives closer to Bay and offered her husband a paintbrush.  Claire, covered in an old shirt of her brother’s, had a paper plate covered in easy wash paints in front of her and a pumpkin waiting to be decorated.  Bay was already sketching out a monster’s face on his pumpkin, while Belle’s plan was for something more traditional.  

“I haven’t had a kitchen accident in ages, thank you very much.”  Gabe accepted the brush, though, thinking it might come in handy.  It had potential for tickling a certain brunette on the back of her neck, for starters.  And perhaps other places as well, when his kids weren’t around.  He jumped into his own carving without a plan or sketch.  Everything was quiet for a few minutes before Claire started crying.

“Sweetheart?”  Her hands were covered with paint, and somehow her left cheek as well, but he didn’t hesitate before pulling her onto his lap.  He was closer than Belle.  “Can you tell papa what you’re feeling?”

“Hurt,” she sobbed between her tears.  

“Where does it hurt, my love?”  He couldn’t see anything but maybe the paint was hiding it.  Or maybe it wasn’t something that could be seen; she’d had the flu a few months ago and had thrown up enough that they’d had to take her to the emergency room for an IV.

“Pun-kin hurt.”  She pointed to his pumpkin, the top cut off and some of the seeds removed.  “Bandaid?”

“Oh dear,” Belle spoke from across the table.  “I hope this doesn’t mean I picked the wrong costume.”

“It’s okay, peanut, the pumpkin likes it.”  Often times anything Bay said was okay was taken as law by Claire, but today she wasn’t having any of it.  She only cried harder.

“Hurted.  Pun-kin owey.  Fix, papa.”  She looked up at him and if he wasn’t convinced by the tears he was when she touched his cheek.  “Peese?”

“Mama will go get some bandaids while we wash our hands, princess.  We have some surgery to prepare for.”

II

“It’s just me, Claire.  Your brother.  See?”  The scary man crouched low, holding out his hands so he could take her away.  He’d already taken her Bay and was in his room, his face the wrong color, like the same as her milk, and blood on his mouth.  She wanted her Bay.

“It’s a costume, kiddo.  I’m just getting ready for a party.”  When he came closer Claire wanted to run but maybe Bay was hurted.  Claire did the only thing she could think of, she kicked as hard as she could and ran to find her papa.  He would make the scary thing go away and find her Bay.

II

It was after two when he pulled into the garage, his cloak in a heap in the passenger seat and the ridiculous fangs in some trash can.  When he looked in the rearview mirror he could still see streaks of white from the makeup he’d mostly washed off.  Unfortunately he could see some blood on his lip, and not the fake kind.  Hopefully it would look better in the morning, before he had to sit across the breakfast table from his family.

When he opened the garage door he found that there were still a few lights on.  Normally catching Gabe and Belle kissing on the couch made him feel both good, because of how much they loved each other, and weird because who wanted to see their parents doing that?  Tonight, though, he just hoped they were distracting each other enough that he could get to the stairs before letting them know that he was home..

He should have known better.  FBI agents, even when one was retired, were not people you snuck away from.

“Aren’t you going to say goodnight?  Or perhaps good morning?”  He couldn’t ignore Gabe, and took a deep breath.

“You didn’t have to wait up for me.  I would have let you know I was home.”  He knew they worried, and understood it.  Appreciated it, even.  Before meeting Gabe he hadn’t known anyone could care about him.  

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, Bay, we just…”  Belle stopped, and got off the sofa.  “What happened to your lip?”

“It doesn’t hurt.”  Or it least it didn’t until Belle touched it, no matter how soft her touch was.  “It was a good party.  Most of it.  There was just this one guy.”

“Someone you liked?”  Gabe asked, frowning.  

“Hell no.”  It hadn’t been that long ago that he’d told Gabe how he felt about guys.  Had said the word ‘gay’ outloud.  Gabe had told him it was the person that mattered, not their gender.  He’d also gone into embarrassing detail about what it meant to be safe and protected.  There had been a guy at the party and there might have been some fumbling in a literal closet, but he wasn’t about to talk about that.  “Someone who liked a girl that didn’t like him back.  He didn’t accept the word no.”

“Bastard.”  Gabe’s expression could only be described as a snarl.  Belle touched his arm and gave it a squeeze.

“Is she alright?”  Belle asked.

“Yeah.  I gave her a ride back to her dorm.  Dom was too busy holding his nose to notice where we went.”  He wasn’t ashamed at the pride he felt in what might have been a broken nose.

“I’m glad she’s safe.  And you are too.”  Belle kissed his cheek.  “Now let’s go get some ice for that.”

II

“It’s too much to hope that the experience has soured him on parties, isn’t it?”  Thirty minutes later Bay had gone to bed, Claire had been checked on and was still sleeping in her costume, and he and Belle were finally getting ready for bed.  “It was easier when he was still in high school.”

“He’s smart and he’s kind, and he’s not alone.  That matters, sweetheart.”  Belle spoke from the bathroom.

“At least Halloween is over for the year.”  He stripped out of his clothing and slipped under the blankets.

“Not until the sun rises.”  When Belle came out of the bathroom she wore a witches hat and a black lace nightie covered in bats.  And nothing else.  “Not everything about Halloween is bad.”

He had to agree.

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

An X Co. Xmas

12 Days of Christmas OTP Challenge

Day 1: Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

A/N: well this is starting off great im already late on the first day, but i was getting wrecked by uni and wanted to do some research first so please correct me if i made any mistakes concerning Hanukkah! This is actually so long but I had a lot of fun writing it <3 Also i recently started binge watching the office and i just finished my finals which incidentally was for management so here goes!

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i. an infuriating announcement

"You're shitting me, Ro," you deadpan, already feeling like giving up. "Can't someone else do it? Anyone?!"

"Sorry, the rest of the team already have their assignments for the month, and this is yours— and Peter's."

Being in charge of the big X Company Christmas party is an event you've wanted to take the lead on since you joined this department, but being paired up with none other than Peter Maximoff, makes this the best opportunity and the worst case scenario.  

"But he's an idiotic man-child!" You're not even sure how he made his way up to being part of this project management team. You assume it must have something to do with his father being co-chairman of the company. "Yesterday he ordered fifteen pizzas under my name!"

"To be fair, you did glue all his pens and pencils together last week," she smirks, and lets out a small laugh at the memory. "In any case, the project groups for this month have been divided by aptitudes and experience like they always are, and you two ended up together because everyone else was matched up with other projects. I know you two don't exactly get along the best, but upper management is on my ass and the rest of the team is already totally booked with the hectic holiday season."

"Is there anything you can do?"

"Sorry, babe," she apologizes, and give you a sympathetic lopsided smile.

"What's the use of being best friends with the boss if I can't get sorted with a better partner," you grumble with a playful smile, because you obviously love Ororo, but you're not sure how long you'll last without wanting to do something that might land you in HR.

"If it's any consolation, he's not thrilled about being your partner either."

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ii. an idiotic man-child

"This obviously isn't working out—"

"We can't agree on anything—"

"You two are supposed to be coordinating this event together—" Ororo ducks her head between her hands and exhales out of exasperation as she rubs her temples.

"She locked me in the conference room!"

"He put all my office supplies in Jell-O!"

"You need to stop bickering like children and get your shit together!" She stands from her desk, chiding you and Peter. You both sit in adjacent chairs in front of her and you feel like you're back and school and have landed yourself in the principal's office. "I can't be babysitting you constantly, so you'll just have to pull it together and figure it out before you get kicked off this team!"

You and Peter nod in unison, and then exchange side glares at each other when Ororo is sitting back down. She is an amazing manager, and to be fair you and Peter had spent the last thirty minutes complaining about one another, so it's understandable that her patience is running thin.

She takes a moment to collect herself, smoothing out her skirt and tucking a loose strand of hair back into her tight bun. "As I've told you before, it's too late to add or exchange team members with their assignments this month, but I can give you the intern to help you out."

"Kurt?"

"Yes, I've already sent him a memo and he'll be back in the bullpen waiting for you." With that, she dismisses you, and you walk out of her office with Peter following right behind you.

"I hope you don't plan on nagging the intern to death, wouldn't want to scare the poor kid away," he taunts you, catching up to your quicker walking pace to beside you.

"I hope you can actually do your job for once, so that he won't have to do it for you," you retort, without even glancing his way.

"Chill, princess—"

"We don't all have a boss for a father who will help us float to the top— I had to work my ass off to get here and I'm not going to let you drag me down!" You're fuming, and judging by the slight falter in his usual smirk, you think you might have gone too far.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, and then you see Kurt smiling and waving at both of you from across the room. You offer him an awkward smile and Peter gives him a weak wave, both of you dampened from your exchange.

There's no point in wasting any more time with the fast-approaching deadline, so you turn to him, totally neutral and say, "We have work to do, let's just delegate tasks and check up on each other later."

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iii. an unmethodical arrangement

"Damn it!" Peter shouts from his desk, and you look up at him from your computer, distracted by his sudden outburst. He slams the phone back into place in hanging up, and you raise an eyebrow at him. "That's the third band to cancel," he says, exhaling slowly to calm himself down.

He was in charge of music, and as the project deadline approaches with the holidays, it's getting harder to lock down on services. Even you're having a hard time trying to find a restaurant that's available to cater. You decide to give your tired eyes a rest by closing your monitor and leaning back in your chair, blinking a few times to adjust to more favourable lighting.

You're both exhausted from running around all day, and you already sent the intern home a few hours ago. Furthermore, watching the sun set so early through the widow walls, and always having to work so many hours after dark has been getting really depressing. Despite it being demanding and requiring crazy hours, you do love this job.

"Tell me about it, all the restaurants are long overbooked."

There's a moment where all you hear is the clicking of Peter's fingers gliding over the keyboard and then he speaks up, "My mom is friends with this restaurant owner who owes her a favour." He turns his monitor to show you a simplistic webpage. "It's a small family business, they're not going to be booked because they don't advertise their catering service, and they have a menu that can suit all kinds of food restrictions."

"That's great!" you exclaim, taking note of the restaurant name. "Okay, now we just need to find the music." You let out a low sigh, and pull out your planning binder to hopefully gain some inspiration or answers. This fails you, as you end up merely staring blankly at the flipping pages— that is until you fall on one in particular that could help you out. "Hey Peter," you call out to him, and he stops spinning to face you. "What about Warren?"

"What about Warren?" He asks, curious as to why you're bringing up your old teammate. You worked on a lot of projects with Warren before he got promoted to higher management last year.

"He has a bunch of connections, and he hired this great DJ for one of the big fundraisers last year. Why don't we ask him?"

"That's actually not a bad idea, I'll email him." Peter smiles, scribbling on a sticky note and posting it on his computer screen. "But I'll take care of that tomorrow morning," he thinks out loud. "Can we meet earlier tomorrow morning?"

Glancing at the clock, you wonder why the hell he would want to meet earlier since you two have been working so late. "Why?"

"Hanukkah starts tomorrow," he answers simply. "It's already been approved by management, but we are partners so I just wanna make sure you're cool with it."

"Yeah, that's fine," you reply, giving him a small smile. Honestly, this is the longest you two have gone without bickering, but it actually feels nice to be getting along with him.

"All right, I'm gonna call it quits for tonight," he says, gathering his bag and coat. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Y/N."

"Have a good night."

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iv. an evening before

Everything since those little speed bumps you hit concerning the music and food has run really smoothly, and you and Peter have been getting along a lot better since that late night in the office. You developed a steady work flow and actually found yourself laughing at some of his lame jokes. Peter was surprised when he realized that he no longer subconsciously rolled his eyes every time you opened your mouth, and he'd feel himself light up when you greeted him in the morning.

"I think everything should be fine," Peter announces, as you check off the items on the task list.

"All the services are on schedule, and the design department is putting the final touches in the hall," Kurt reports, tucking a few stray papers back into his planner.

"All right, then you may be dismissed, we'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning to greet the caterers and waiting staff." Kurt nods, and bids you and Peter a good evening before heading off into the gentle snowfall of NYC. "We finished with an hour to spare," You smile at Peter who loosens his tie as you both gather your things and head out of the building together. "It'll give me extra time to try not to stress out about tomorrow."

Peter chuckles, and nods in agreement to your statement. "I'll be able to go surprise my sister and pick her up from school."

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, my little sister, Wanda, she's in middle school and hates the school bus."

"I totally understand, the bus is another kind of hell."

He opens his mouth to say goodbye, but then you remember that you had something for him, and you reach into your bag to pull out a present tied up in a pretty satin bow. "Before you go, I have something for you," you say shyly, not sure why you feel a heat creeping up to your cheeks when you notice how charming Peter looks with snowflakes resting delicately on his dark eyelashes.

"What's this for?" He asks, curious about the neatly wrapped box you place in his hands.

"Today is the last day of Hanukkah isn't it?"

"Yeah," he confirms, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He tears the wrapping off, opens the box, and pulls out the dreidel you put inside. "I'm sorry, it's kind of lame— you probably have a ton of them."

"No, this is really great," he says with a smile, turning the top in his hands to admire the craftsmanship. You happened to walk past a kiosk with handmade dreidels when you had to take a different way home the previous night, and couldn't help but notice how pretty they were. "Thank you, Y/N."

A few seconds pass by awkwardly where you're both smiling, but aren't sure what to do, until Peter leans forward and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. The foreign affection from him is completely new, but surprisingly warm, comfortable, and welcome. You've just let yourself melt into the hug when he breaks off, and it's like you've been snapped out of a daze and left out in the cold. Still feeling slightly disoriented, you wish him a happy Hanukkah, and leave it at that before you make a fool of yourself. You start to head off towards the subway when Peter calls out to you.

"Do you—" He hesitates for a moment, unsure of what he's asking exactly.

"Did you say something?" You turn back around to face him and he stutters for a moment, because the sun shining perfectly on your features with snow falling all around you has him unable to process anything else around him. "Peter?"

"D-Do you want to come? I figure it's better than trying not to stress out at home alone."

Your lips curve up into a smile and you're not even conscious of how much your heart rate has picked up yet. Everything is sorted for the company party tomorrow, and you've discovered that Peter isn't too bad to be around, so what's the harm?

"Sure."

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v. an important night

"Wow—" Peter utters breathlessly, stunned by the sight of you entering the hall. Last time he saw you was less than a half hour ago, and he'd be lying if he were to say that he weren't impressed by your quick transformation. Just moments ago you were running around in your work clothes, with a clipboard and unruly hairs sticking out in all wrong places. Now that the party's started and everything is running smoothly, you seem a lot more calm and managed to fix up your hair and makeup flawlessly. He hadn't seen your dress yet, and even though he thought you were still the prettiest person in the room in your stressed out mess, you're definitely a showstopper now.

"You should wipe the drool off your chin before Y/N notices," Scott smirks at Peter as he walks up to him with Jean on his arm. As if on cue, you notice Peter and your other team members from across the room and wave at the group, a smile gracing your lips that makes Peter weak in the knees. Scott, of course, notices this and feels the need to tease him about it. "If I didn't know how much you two hate each other's guts, I'd think you might actually like each other as more than just archenemies."

"Scott, leave the poor guy alone," Jean chimes in, grinning playfully. "He obviously has it bad."

"You guys don't know what you're talking about." Peter runs a hand through his silver hair that's neatly coiffed for once. "Y/N and I are just partners on this event, and then everything is going to go back to normal," He laughs it off, despite what he just said settling uncomfortably in his mind. Working with you over the last few weeks has brought out the best in both of you; you've been getting along great, even having a couple of inside jokes, and last night he had so much fun. The way your eyes would light up with genuine interest as you listened to his explanations of the rituals, how well you seemed to fit in with his family, and Wanda, she adored you. He found himself frequently gazing at you with a goofy grin on his face, not even realizing he was staring until you'd make eye contact with him, and then he'd get all flustered from being caught.

All this to say that he's very confused about his feelings. He likes the relationship akin to friendship the two of you have developed, but he also feels something more. The thought that makes him more uncomfortable is: what will happen when this is over? Will you just be disbanded and assigned to different projects after? Will you go back to being at each other's throats, will you still be friendly with each other, or will you just never speak again unless you're assigned to the same project again?

"Peter, you need to calm down." Jean interrupts his overthinking, offering him a comforting smile. "Go ask her to dance."

"It's like you read my mind," He shoots her a wink and finishes off his drink before heading off in your direction.

"Hey Peter," You greet him after excusing yourself from a group conversation. "This is going great isn't it?"

"Y-Yeah, it's awesome."

"Who would've known we'd make a half-decent team?" You grin at him playfully, and also notice that he seems a little spaced out. "Are you okay, Maximoff?"

"Do y-you wanna dance?"

"It would be my pleasure," You extend your hand, and he takes it in his larger one, leading you to the dance floor where he slips his other arm around your waist. He starts to guide you is slow circles, feet following the rhythm of the smooth tune. Throughout the course of the song, your bodies get closer to one another, and you hope he can't tell how warm your cheeks are upon realizing this. "Wow, Peter, where'd you learn to dance like this?"

"My, uh, mom made me take lessons when I was younger," he says sheepishly, a blush creeping its way onto his face.

"I'm impressed."

The song ends, and you thank each other for the dance. This is the when you'd normally break apart, but neither of you moves— neither of you wants to. The next song starts to play and you're the only ones not moving on the dance floor.

"You look amazing, by the way," he tells you, and you feel like you're lungs are failing you.

"Thanks, you clean up real nice yourself." Another few seconds go by without anything happening, other than the tension continuously building.

"Well- th-thanks for the dance, a-and being a good partner."

Peter mentally slaps himself as you smile and start to walk off the dance floor. There's obviously something there, why didn't he do anything? Idiot. Just when he thinks he's blown his only chance, you spin on your heel and march back to the spot he hasn't moved from, pull him down by the shoulders to press your lips against his. He barely has time to process what's happening before you pull back, leaving him reeling.

"Whoa," is all he can manage to get out. It was only a few seconds, but your kiss took all the air out of his lungs.

"May I have this dance?" You ask nervously, taking a shot at the dark, hoping he feels the same way you do.

He doesn't say anything else, unable to keep the goofy grin off his face. Instead of speaking, he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his body and leans in for another kiss. His soft lips move against yours gently, and as you let your eyes flutter shut, you feel that same warmth as when he first hugged you the previous night.

When you break apart, neither of you can keep the smiles off your face, and you happily let him lead you in circles on the dance floor.

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vi. an extra scene

Peter hugs you from behind and presses a quick kiss to your cheek before heading to his desk.

"Congrats you two!" You and Peter both jump at Ororo's less-than-subtle entrance. "The party was a hit, and upper management wants to add you to the New Year fundraiser event planning team!"

You both thank her for the opportunity and accept the detail files she hands you.

"Oh, and congrats for the other thing too," She says, gesturing between you and Peter. "You know what that means, right?"

"We get a raise for organizing the party of the year?" Peter half-jokingly suggests.

"Real funny," she chuckles, making her way to her office. "You're going to have to file this with HR, now."

[barpurplewrites]

Common Appetites

Today’s grisly tale was born from @a-monthly-rumbelling non smut prompt.

This one is gory with descriptions of blood injury and cannibalism, (I bet you can guess which RC character stars) Enjoy, but read with caution.

-x-x-x-x

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

A hulking shape stepped out of the shadows at the back of Thomson’s Barbershop. The weak light from the streetlamps glinted off a tooth and the edge of a knife. Barney sighed and backed up against the locked door of his shop.

“You really don’t want to try this pal.”

“And what is a short arse like you going to do to stop me?”

Barney knew exactly what he was going to do, the problem was he had no idea what his damn cursed luck was planning. The mugger stepped forward and Barney turned on his heel and scarpered down the alley.

The alley behind the shops on Main Street was perfectly straight, but filled with obstacles; the dumpsters, the boxes that the grocery store had out for recycling, and the bicycle that the pharmacist still hadn’t got repaired. Any of them could be a hazard, even the wobbly slabs were capable of sending a man sprawling to his doom.

None of these caused the wee accident Barney knew was about to happen. A sickening screech of metal and a wet gurgle stopped him. It took several shaky breaths before he was ready to turn around.

“How the fuck did that happen?”

The now very dead mugger was still standing and would have looked threatening with his arm raised over his head brandishing the knife. Would have been threatening if it wasn’t for the rusted ladder of the fire escape that had dropped and impaled him, pinning his arm to the top of his head. Barney edged closer and swallowed bile when he spotted the sharp end of the ladder sticking out of the man’s gut.

“Oh, fuck. Fucking hell. Fuck.”

Barney was terrified. Again. You’d have thought after all this time, he’d be used to this sort of shite. But no, here he was out of breath and feeling like he was going to puke his guts up, with a would-be mugger standing six foot away from him.

“I’m sorry pal. I didnae mean it. Yer were just waving that great big knife around and I panicked.”

If he wasn’t so much of a coward he would have stood and took the beating, or even the stabbing the man wanted to give him. It might not have been that bad, and there was a fair chance that he would have lived to tell the tale. Instead he’d run, knowing full well that it wouldn’t end well for the mugger.

“I’m cursed, you see. It was my Ma, she was the killer, I just had bad luck, but it’s all gotten so much worse.”

He’d thought his luck had changed. The police hadn’t even looked at him for the deaths after those four coppers topped each other in the woods. Then old Mr Henderson had passed away of natural causes and left him the barbershop and a tidy lump of cash. For the first time in his life Barney had felt free. He’d sold the shop and moved to the States, thinking a fresh start would do him the world of good.

For six months good had been an understatement. His shop was doing a roaring trade, he’d made some friends and was even enjoying a wee bit of flirting with the librarian. Then some dumbarse rumour had started that the comb cleaning fluid was a great high. It was shite of course, but late one night some desperate sod had barged into his shop and tried to hold him up. It had gone down just like it had with Wullie; Barney’s scissors sunk into the robber’s chest, and a dead body on the floor.

Of course, he didn’t get away with it quite as clean as he did with Wullie. He’d have given anything for Charlie to have blundered in, but his luck was an evil bitch. What had walked through the door and found him standing over a bloody body was proof that his mother hadn’t been the worst monster lurking in the world.

After that his bad luck returned in force. For the past six months he’d counted himself lucky if he made it a fortnight without killing anyone. This bastard had broken his current streak at nine days. Barney was tempted to kick him in the shin.

“You’re a fucker, you know that?”

A wee part of Barney’s tattered soul told him he could call the Sheriff. It had been an accident after all, there was no way that anyone would think he’d forced the ladder through the man’s head. In fact, whoever own this fire escape would cop it, because they’d let the ladder get into a bad way. He could call the Sheriff. He should call the Sheriff. He wouldn’t. He dialled a monster instead.

Calhoun picked up on the fourth ring; “Good evening Barney. Let me guess there’s been another wee accident?”

“Aye. A mugger. It’s a right mess.”

“This can’t keep happening, Barney.”

A cold sweat broke out on Barney’s brow; “You ain’t gonna help me then?”

He didn’t want to threaten Calhoun. The man was bloody terrifying, but he would if he had too. After all he knew where all of Calhoun’s skeletons were hidden, he’d helped him lug them to cold storage.

“Of course, I’ll help you Barney. I’ve never fed so well as I have these last few months.”

Barney shuddered. There would be no point threatening Calhoun. There was very little left of the bodies he’d helped move. The sick bastard ate them. Wendigo he called himself. How the fuck had Barney’s life come to this?

He was so wrapped up in contemplating his miserable existence that he didn’t notice a pair of blue eyes watching him from the window of the library.

 -x-x-x-

 Ives strolled into his home and dropped his jacket directly into the trash. Getting the blood out of something that cost so little was too much effort. Besides ‘Mr Calhoun’ was a very rich man. He’d been feeling a touch nostalgic when he last updated his identity; it had been a very long time since he’d used the name of the unfortunate priest, but it was an easy one to answer to, almost like slipping into a comfortable pair of slippers.

He poured himself a drink and smiled. Barney Thomson was a walking disaster; painfully awkward but a master of his trade. Ives appreciated a barber who didn’t blather on while wielding scissors or razor, and Barney took quiet while plying his trade to an extreme.

Very little scared Ives these days, but realizing he recognized Barney had given him pause. From what he recalled of the caustic way Cemolina had spoken of her son he doubted that she would have mentioned their little arrangement to him, but caution was wise. In his own way he rather missed the old whore turned murderer, she’d supplied him with fresh meat for a few months before his wanderlust had made him move on again and had been the closest thing to a friend he’d had in years.

After ascertaining that Barney had no idea who he was, he’d decided to eat him. A little tribute to dear Cemolina who’d always said her son was a terrible waste of space. Ives chuckled to himself as he recalled that night six months ago when he’d followed the junkie into the barbershop. He’d fully expected to either have to finish Barney off, or simply pick up his body after the junkie had killed him. It hadn’t turned out like that and Ives was oddly very pleased with his new arrangement.

Fate had chosen a strange plaything in Barney Thomson. He was either the luckiest bastard to walk the Earth, or the most unfortunate bugger under Heaven. He didn’t appreciate how what he referred to as his ‘bad luck’ had rendered him damn near unkillable. Ives certainly wasn’t going to tempt whatever forces surrounded Barney, no matter how tempting it was to carry out his plans to eat him occasionally. He couldn’t help but wonder if the man’s good fortune would pass to him via his flesh.

Ives finished his drink and strolled into his study. Putting Barney’s curious talent to one side for the moment, he had a small problem of his own to deal with. Someone was stealing from his larders. He’d suspected Barney at first, thinking the man had decided to take the limb or two as insurance. He was far to squeamish to be eating them, but being able to throw the Sheriff a bone, as it were, would be a plan if the focus of the law turned upon him.

He’d dismissed Barney as a suspect. The man was petrified of the Sheriff and turned in to a stammering mess if she so much as wished him good morning. Setting the cameras up in his larders had been a calculated risk. There was a chance that the CCTV feeds could be hacked and then he would be in very hot water, but he needed to know who he was dealing with.

As he settled down to watch the feeds the cat that had adopted him finally deigned to grace him with its presence. He scratched it’s furry head and said; “What do we think, Puss? Whose been pilfering from our supplies?”

The cat just purred at him. Ives had expected to have to spend a long night waiting for a glimpse of his thief, but in less than an hour there was movement on the screen. The cat grumbled its displeasure as he leaned forward to peer closer at the image.

“Well, this is certainly surprising.”

Of all the people he’d considered, he’d never once thought it would be the little librarian raiding his larder.

“Miss Belle French. Whatever are you up to?”

[roachie-oats]

so like

recently ive been thinking of . Putting out a little thing abt myself to my followers and whoever else might be reading this that actually cares about my blog or me

it’s kind of just a story about my time associating with the members of that old dirtygfconfessions blog, and. I think it’s time i genuinely told the whole story here. I guess I want to because then I can send this to people who are curious, and it just helps to get it off my chest

Warning: this post includes mentions of sensitive material.

i used to be one of the mods of the dirty gravity falls confessions blog.

we used to have a skype group chat for all of the mods of the blog. The name changed a lot

The stuff we did there are both things i did regret and things i dont regret.

i can tell you this - it was not for the fainthearted. Before i was desensitized, i remember having a panic attack when somebody sent a picture of a real, disfigured and busted open body that i really don’t want to get into the detail about. We used slurs. We made the most offensive jokes we could think of.

I had fun, mostly around the beginning. Of course, I didn’t feel welcome despite them never telling me i wasn’t.

I felt the most fond of the mod leader we called bip. I was scared of him, too, however.

There were times where i left the chat because my feelings were hurt, but i always came back.

Eventually, when gf ended and when the blog died down, we just became a general chat. They eventually made a discord server.

Then, in came some people we called roxy, blaze, lily, and other people. I’m not calling them by their newest names i’ve heard because i don’t want a lot of people going “i know who they are!” And trying to harass them.

Please don’t bother these people. I don’t even want them to know I’m talking about this. It wouldn’t matter if they did, though, but whatever. The way I refer to them is also to further protect their current identities, so please don’t bitch to me about it if you know them.

Anyway, i was fond of lily, too. I never felt close to blaze and I never will.

Roxy was. Something. By that I mean roxy was very guilt-trippy and made everyone uncomfortable despite our efforts to tell her to stop doing whatever it was that we didn’t enjoy. After a dispute that directly involved me (she was trying to antagonize me because of a fetish), we kicked her out. For some reason, the mods (especially bip) still talked to her even though they always said how shitty she was in the group chat. Bad sign already.

The stuff in between was a blur, but i remember i still went on and off of the chat because of personal issues.

At some point I did something to make blaze uncomfortable, i don’t want to say what it was but i can assure you i never did it again. Also, i barely remember it anyway.

After that, blaze did everything in their power to make me look like a bad person, argue with anything i said or thought, and get me kicked out of the chat for the most irrational reasons. I remember he “jokingly” kicked me out of the chat because i liked sausage party, and ignored me when i asked when he was going to add me back.

He started arguments with another member who, admittedly did go too far with things, but wasn’t a bad person at heart in the slightest.

Blaze went as far as to claim this person was transphobic and faked being trans, even though the person never made any claims of being trans and didnt even comment anything bad about stuff like that.

What sucked was how blaze got away with all of this, and was one of the closest people to the admin, bip.

He was manipulative as all hell, and started dating lily and tried to control her. He WAS in a relationship with somebody else named Maddie before lily. However, he cheated on her with this other person. And the whole chat blamed the person he cheated on with, instead of blaze. They kicked the person out.

I used to send lily hearts all the time because i guess I practically loved them. I was about a year or two too old, though. Maybe three. We weren’t over 18 yet, though. At some point, i was told by bip and blaze to stop sending hearts to lily bc it made them uncomfortable. I agreed not to, but I did feel like this wasn’t something lily would have other people tell me, so i felt like blaze was being controlling and possessive of lily. When i pointed this out to them, lily told me to mind my own business. Red flag.

More conflict rose between me and blaze.

I decided i wanted to just try to talk to blaze, i was as calm as i could be and i tried being really understanding, because i knew he hated me. I wanted to fix things between us, or at least stop all the arguments and shit, but he refused, telling me he didn’t want to say how he felt about me. He didn’t want to talk about any of it. So i left him alone.

I think at that point I left or something because I didn’t want to be in that chat since they were so manipulated by him.

In another light, during all of this, i did have chats with bip. And honestly, we even sent nudes and other sexual content to each other. But we only did it if bip consented. I always asked him if he wanted to send pictures or videos, and i always reassured him that if he didn’t want to, he didn’t have to. End of story.

Hell, i told the whole chat if i ever made them uncomfortable, they could tell me. I didn’t want to be the next Roxy. They never did tell me until that second to last point that i left when i did happen to make them uncomfortable by talking about a sexual attraction to a character they valued in terms of childhood, and they were angry about it. i got angry, too. (and no, it was not a problematic figure)

Later, bip and i talked again. I don’t remember why, but we did. i probably started it for some reason. He told me he got rid of blaze because the chat realized how manipulative he was. He said i could join the chat again if i wanted to. So i did.

I was scared. And i was right to be. Not only did i feel even more unwelcome, i felt humiliated. I decided to search for any mentions of me because i was so scared of what they said about me while i was gone.

It was horrible.

They deliberately sought out my blogs and made fun of my art, looked through my vent accounts and called me names because i had beliefs different from theirs, said i always made them uncomfortable, and at some point bip himself tried to word his statements as if i forced him to send pictures. he pretended he didn’t consent to it.

Bip had apologized to me for the shit they did the day i looked through those messages. I feel sick just thinking about this.

I got so upset that i left again and blocked everyone associated with it. I vowed never to return to them again. I’d rather die than have to deal with them. I always felt unwelcome and hated when i was in that chat. I always felt like the people wanted to hurt me and wanted me to die.

They did. They said i should just die.

[homosexualspock]

TOS Tag Game

tagged by @1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt thank you so much!! <3 i looooove talking about TOS and i have some Things. To. Say. The rules (as i understand them lol) are to answer 5 questions asked by the person who tagged you and then ask 5 questions to the people you tag! Since there were only 2 questions asked i’m gonna answer 3 from the previous ones ;)

1. Which is the most defining moment for Spock and Jim as couple, in your opinion? One which left you most shaken?

This is a super hard question because every single moment between Jim and Spock as a couple leaves me Shook but here we go

For me there are a couple of defining moments: of course the “this simple feeling” moment from TMP for obvious reasons, Amok Time (again. obvious reasons), but I also think a moment that less people think about is from This Side of Paradise; Spock was given the chance to live in a complete Utopia in complete happiness and acceptance, something he even mentions he’s never felt before. Yes, I’m 1000% aware that this utopia was an effect of the drug-like spores and the positive feelings came from being drugged, but Spock willingly left that behind to stay with Jim. He gave up complete emotional bliss (however fabricated it might be) to stay loyal to the man he would die for. We know that Jim would do anything and give up everything for Spock, and in this episode we truly understand that Spock would absolutely do the same for Jim. I think that that moment not only showcases Spock’s devotion to the one he’s in love with, but also his devotion to his most beloved friend. 

I think the moment that left me (literally) on the floor with Feelings was the “you almost make me believe in luck/you almost make me believe in miracles” moment on the bridge lol

2. What is the most disappointing thing about TOS for you?

TBH I think the character work could have been wayyyy better!!!!!!!! Like obviously we’re given Enough to appreciate the primary characters, but I wanna know MORE about Tarsus IV and Spock’s childhood and the bridge crew’s academy days and HOW they decided to join Starfleet and UGH!! I feel like there was such a missed opportunity there!!! Most if not all of the episodes are incredibly situational which works for, like, a fun tv show based on lessons and political commentary and everything, but I really wish there was more character background.

3. Which section of Enterprise are you most curious to see which was never filmed?

LET ME SEE THE DAMN OBSERVATION DECK FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!

4. What was the defining episode that you watched that made you go: Yup. I am 100% on board for this.

Honestly. Tbh. In my honest opinion... The Naked Time (or Charlie X tbh)

5. What. The fuck. Happened in the story between Season 3 and The Motion Picture. Seriously. What happened between Jim and Spock.

OKAY. HERE’S WHAT I THINK.

Spock and Jim are in a relationship aboard the Enterprise before the five-year mission ends. Jim has never been happier and neither has Spock, but Spock is afraid of just how much he cares for and loves Jim. He’s scared of his feelings and how he can’t control them around Jim and how Jim brings out this very un-Vulcan-like side of him that he’s unable to deal with; he thinks he can’t be what Jim needs because he can’t be a human, he can’t express his feelings like Jim can. Cue “The Talk” they have concerning their relationship once the five-year mission ends; Jim wants Spock to stay with him and Spock tells Jim that he is returning to Vulcan to undergo Kohlinar. CUE TERRIBLE FIGHT WHERE THERE IS ANGER AND CRYING AND HEARTBREAK AND SPOCK LEAVING JIM (Skinny Love by Birdy literally makes me cry every single time because it is the Perfect song that I imagine playing in the background of their Fight. like they’re going back and forth and Jim is crying and there’s yelling and this song just encompasses the vulnerability and Pain that they’re both going through in that moment and the desperation from Jim that they stay together and make it through this). They’re both DEVASTATED, of course, and Jim accepts admiralty because he can’t be in space without Spock, he can’t go where no man has gone before without his best friend and soulmate. And Spock attempts to purge his emotions because a life without Jim is too painful for him to bear.

A very rudimentary description of what I think happened but there you have it.

**My questions now!**

1. Who’s your favorite “villain” from TOS and why? How would you have defeated them?

2. What’s your opinion on the Prime Directive and how flexible do you think it is?

3. Which planet from the series was your favorite to visit and which one do you wish you knew more about?

4. Obligatory “favorite Jim/Spock moment”? :)

5. Do you think Sarek is a bad/good father, why/why not?

tagging: @federations @spockt @greenjimkirk @warpfactornonsense @zetomato and anyone else who wants to! <3