#ive gained so much and lost so much. ... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wildstar25 · 8 months ago

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MiqoMarch Day 21 - Lost

#ffxiv #miqomarch #miqomarch 2024 #ffxiv azem #emet selch #emetazem #implied #Arsay Nun #Lethe Nu #shadowbringers #shadowbringers spoilers #endwalker spoilers #sorta #ffxiv gpose #i will always be thinking about how much arsay reminds emet of lethe #sure aside from the eyes they look quite different #but when it comes to their free spirit it is almost a perfect match #and thats the part of her that emet was always particularly fond of #even if lethes constant wandering gave him nothing but stress #anyways ive always imagined emet to kinda be at a cross road when it came to arsay in shadowbringers #hes starting to gain something of a softspot for arsay as an individual #enough to bring back her dear friend from being lost in the lifestream #but then bits of azem shine through her and emet has to remind himself what all of this has been for #he's doing it to bring lethe and all his other loved ones back #arsay is no replacement for the person he lost so long ago #anyways if this dialogue is cringe im sorry but its what came into my head so

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radmista · 7 months ago

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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

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jundream · 5 months ago

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For the love of God I'm so sick of skinny people being like "oh don't take a picture of me i look fat and bloated and GROSS and I hate it!" Just say you don't want a photo. Stop explaining yourself. Please. For the love of god. Please do not open your mouth

#txt #fatphobia #this guy used to talk shit behind my back and called me fat when i was younger and ive lost so much weight with hyperthyroidism #and people always say i look so good but im literally so sick. i cant gain any weight because of graves. you people make me sick #being skinny is not inheritly healthy and being fat is beautiful. you dont have to share your thoughts to everyone.#for the love of god #medical issues #i guess also #side note they explicitely say i look healthy because im thin even though i see my ribs (i want to eat but the sickness)#the anger.

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renjaminnifer · 4 months ago

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#why does man have to be a dirty word #i'm not responsible. i'm just not.#terfs dont even look at me you're all disgusting #im not a girl anymore and while i've gained so much #i feel like ive lost something too #this is nothing just ignore m

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otteritos · 6 months ago

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I see your mcr obsession come across my dash everyday- it makes me wish I could actually get into them but that's irrelevant- keep up the good work man 👍👍👍

GIGGLING AT THIS. thank u anon... glad to see my hard work isn't going unnoticed

#AND YOU SHOULD GET INTO THEM but only if u want to #honestly man ive just been through a lot these past. like 6 months now maybe #ive lost so much but also gained a lot in a small amount of time #so theyve helped with that a lot #but yeah uhm!! anyways #mcr #ask #anonymous

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misdreavs · 2 months ago

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tw weight talk/weight loss

keep trying to remind myself that years of mismanaging the amount i eat and lacking exercise cannot be undone in a couple weeks through purely healthy means

#io speaks #i am losing some pounds but its DREADFULLYYYY SLOWWWWW #and then i feel weirdly bad about how bad i let myself get and i wanna undo all my process its soooo #ive been trying to turn things around for myself a bit more but i cannot exit a self pitying self deprecating mindset AERGHHH #has anyone else done this journey. does it get easier. im on week 6 #i've lost around 5 pounds which isnt much but ive been only gaining weight so this is the first time im seeing the number go down #which is nice. but im afraid ill hit a wall bc im not being 100% perfect about my diet #im tracking for 9 weeks but at this rate im def not hitting my goal so ill have to tack on another 9 weeks depending

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coffeeworldsasaki · 9 months ago

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The fact that somehow society got so fucked up to see weight loss as something always positive is insane to me, I connect it only to illnesses and poverty

#I've lost more weight i think #I'm trying to eat dinner more often but I'm not doing a great job #now I'm replacing snacks with a couple candies more often to save money #i can't believe ive ever been happy to move out of my previous city i was a fucking idiot #but in my defense i really didn't think that this place had a 6+ months of winter weather #my mental health has never been worse 🙃#i need to try gain some weight back this summer... if i could work out I'd probably do that easily #it didn't give me more appetite as people say it does but i still tried to eat more to put on muscles #...that doesn't solve the not being able to afford food issue tho #i hate my life so much

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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until yoko tells me otherwise ill choose to believe sawashiro stayed in america with aoki so i can drive myself insane thinking of all the things that could entail

#snap chats #ive def made this post before but idc im thinkin again #was it his choice... was it arakawas...... both are very nice....#itd make sense for him to stay so he can get enrolled in college and so he can have someone help him recover from surgery #aoki's another funny factor to consider tho. once he was better would he just tell jo to piss off LMAO #theres also the alternative where he's such a pampered baby he wants jo to stick around to do shit for him #sometimes i dare to think jo wrote a respectful email back to arakawa asking he stay overseas until aoki was done with school #god forbid a phone call. he can finesse an excuse it's easy no worries #aoki's his priority isnt he.. would arakawa be ok with that.... maybe if jo documented everything 😷#PLEASE the thought of jo having shitty video diaries is making me cackle. maybe audio recordings..#theres also so much to gain from the idea of jo having to Truly solo parent aoki even if it's just for four years. and he's like 24 by now #also jo getting his ass lost in the city but anyways #just an idea im far too attached to.... theres too much to be done with it.... and nothing my brain can put into cohesive thought ☠️#i gotta send this post now im just sitting here thinkin of Everything LMAO

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pepprs · 2 years ago

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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

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hopefullyababe · 2 years ago

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starting to belive that statistic about college students putting on weight while living on campus. having unrestricted access to unlimited ammounts of preprepared food has not done wonders for my weight let me tell you.

#daphnes talking again #tw weight talk #tw food #BUT. ill be real here. i love having a bit of belly fat.#i think. its an attractive quality.#and i uh. like it. on me #plus. gonna get a bit sad here #i didnt eat alot over quarentine.#i lost. a LOT. of weight.#im not good at estimating so i wont try to #but i was eating one small meal a day for a good while. and i stopped drinking water for awhile #because i just. had no energy to move and make myself anything. or even to like. reach for my waterbottle.#so i got. really thin. the thinnest ive ever been.#i didnt even notice until someone pointed it out.#but uh. yeah. ive been gaining back the weight i lost ever since then.#its been slow but i think. its an achievement.#to eat three times a day. and have the energy to eat as much as i want.

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milfmoder · 1 year ago

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Are you fucking kidding me

#all this time ive been trying to gain weight ive lost 4kg #im eating as much as I physically can and ive cut down my exercise #what is wrong with my body #i hate this so much why cant i just eat

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thisbrilliantsky · 1 year ago

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#weight loss cw #also my aunt's scale works again so i weighed myself today bc when my mom and sister and grandma and other aunt were here for the 4th #everyone was commenting on how much weight i'd lost? and in a way that was not so much ''wow u look good'' and more ''uh are okay??''#and i thought i'd gained back some since the initial 9lbs i lost when i started these meds #but. ive actually lost 5 more :|#which?? takes me just under the healthy range for my age and height if i remember correctly :|#so uh. hm. not good probably #dont worry pls i will be talking to my np about it the next time i see her #in possibly related news my aunt stopped to get doughnuts for me on her way back from church today :|#blueberry doughnuts are SO good btw

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snarltoothed · 1 year ago

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im back at the weight i was four years ago! yay! cross your fingers with me and let’s see if we can make it stick

(this is about weight gain. not weight loss. fuck diet culture and beauty standards. eating disorders are more fatal than any other category of mental illnesses.)

#r #ive hit this point and dropped back down by like 10-15lbs before so x.x we’ll see #that was when i switched to continuous daily use (no off week) on the pill #and i did just switch to a different brand/progestin so could be temporary hormonal weight gain again #but maybe i can keep it on this time?#i dont have like normal anorexia also i have some arfid ednos type shit #and lost 1/4 of my body weight due to medication-induced anorexia 3-4 years ago #so for the moment aside from all the permanent damage to my fucking nervous system its like it didnt happen :)#i dont have proof that the dysautonomia was triggered solely by that fiasco but i mean. thats when it got terrible :)#i have LOOKED but i just dont think the data is out there about what can be expected when one overdoses on serotonin daily for months #and loses so much sleep and weight and goes through so much physical stress #because it would be extremely unethical to purposely subject anyone to that :)#but i guess the psych who poisoned me missed the days they covered ETHICS and also SIGNS OF OVERDOSE

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vriendenboekjes · 2 years ago

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terrible horrible no good celebrity moments all around today!!!!!!!!

#theres already a (partial) translation of taemin's insta live on youtube so i just watched it and he says theres going to be a fan meet the #22nd and 23rd this month and hes going to start rehearsing TOMORROW and since he gained weight also starting a DIET. lord. give him a 3 #month break AT LEAST. and he was unsure of how to talk to fans like literally unused to slipping into the persona. horrible. when the xz #interview this morning was about the same. celebrity culture is rotting to everyone involved it's awful #like i already try to be unknowledgeable about celebrities as much as possible but when theyre out there stating things like im not used to #being this person in front of the camera anymore/ive lost sight of myself it really drives home how much of that (public personality) is a #front 😬😟☹️. anyways. uhm. yay new music coming soon probably kill me i hate it i hate it

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this-doesnt-endd · 2 years ago

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I need to start doing my physical therapy exercises again

#ive noticed its been increasingly more comfortable to stand with my foot at an angle #also like not feeling my knee as much lately and like yeah thats a seperate issue kinda #i didnt expect to gain much if any of the bit of feeling a lost in my right side #they said physical therapy might help or it might not #i didnt expect it to #i think its the muscle disorder and how prominent it uses to be specifically on the right side that just weakend it #either way its just another thing to add to the list #and speaking of list i have to go see my ent tomorrow at 11 and tell him the nose spray sucked and i stopped using it not telling him that #but like i havent had a runny nose latley cause it switched back to stuffy when i got a cole and eventually it will switch back to runny #where the nose spray didnt do much to help but the biggest issue is #is that i still have a constant post nasal drip runny or stuffy and i can feel snot run down the back of my throat and id appreciate not to #its awful to wake up every morning and hack it all up its awful to feel it cause it makes a gross lump in ur throat #im usually tasting it first or right as my nose starts to bleed and its awful #anyways i feel like im leaving there with no answers #also my primary care dr never got back to me on an explanation of my blood work or the ct i was supposed to get for my nose #so im calling about that tomorrow i gueas

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comradecowplant · 22 days ago

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i don't want spook the nervous filly that is Maybe This Show Wont Suck by saying anything but after being extremely unimpressed with season two (THE CREEPY OLD MAN CHAINED TO THE WALL WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO TELL YOU ANSWERS ABOUT WHO PUT HIM THERE BOYD WHY DID YOU SHUSH HIM??????? and then tell no one about it for half the season UGH lack of communication that is of obvious mutual benefit in order to keep characters pointlessly confused/at odds with each other is such a lazy writing pet peeve of mine) I think From is really getting back on track this season. An interesting horror-mystery premise with effective creepy-ass monsters that we're seeing a fascinating escalation of this season. Now just don't drop the ball!!! 🤞🤞

#i like how the lesbian couple have had entirely independent storylines this season. small but very good production detail #oh god the way boyd kept repeating 'i know i know' to [BELOVED CHARACTER] and then repeating their last words... an amazing performance by #harold perrineau 👏😭 when his writing isnt inconsistent he's my favorite character #i feel like we're finally making progress on the mystery of it all for the first time since season 1 which is another point that bugged me #about last season. dont spoon feed us answers but ya gotta balance the give & take (which considering that many people from Lost are involv #involved w this show it uh doesnt surprise me that they sometimes miss that particular mark lmao)#and last season nothing really happened. the radio thing was a waste of time. the monsters just became more confusing vs gaining any #new useful information. just 'ooo new people' which wasnt enough to scratch any itches for me #so much of it is coming back to victor & his mother... i shant speak my theories but i think the key is closer to home than the #otherworldlyness of the town reflects. idk i guess we'll (hopefully bc ya never know in this tv climate) see!#anyway now that ive sung a bit of praise for this season the great cosmic coincidence will ensure that the final episodes are ass lol #dani talks about tv

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