#ive found a job thats as close to possible

[mitsmebinch]

maybe its the autism but tbh if i was just sit in front of a computer and just given stacks of paper to enter into boxes just type tab type tab type tab i would literally be so happy and so fulfilled why isn't that my job

[hollowblxxd]

Its been one hell of a long time since ive rambled about something so heres my rambles on mouthwashing and how i think everyone kinda seeing some stuff wrong.

This is mostly a focus on the situation between Anya and Jimmy unfortunately, and also my opinion on Curly and the innocence he has and the weight he carries. I understand the game doesn't go in depth on what happened between Anya and Jimmy but I think the subtle-ness of the games speaks more volumes than any dialogue. Basically in my head, given how Anya acts around Jimmy, I think the truth behind what happens its more long-term. That they were "together" in obviously a very abusive way. Jimmy constantly gaslighting, belittling then lovebombing, etc. etc. manipulating Anya into believing she had to be with him. I think the "one worse monster that doesnt define us" is the one moment in the relationship where Jimmy "took it too far" (the SA and possibly threat with a gun). I remember seeing another post of Curly being a metaphor for the future baby they would have together and seeing how Anya acts literally seems like a timid broken wife of an abuser. She too scared and guilty to work on the child she hates looking at and Jimmy is "forced" to do it, continuing to berate her for "not doing her job" (aka being a nurse OR being a mother.) I feel like that alone tells you how their relationship is. Anya isn't just a one-time victim but a LONG TERM VICTIM of the constant mental, emotional AND physical abuse at the hands of Jim. It doesn't wipe clean the one thing he did because they were "dating", Im not at all using this as a justification for anything at all but I suppose Im putting it in prespective. Because it leads into my next part with Curly. Everyone doesnt know what to think of Curly, good bad, whatever. I remember I was also mad to when I first found out about what Jimmy did and I was in fact mad at Curly for not doing more. But then I genuinely thought about it. Imagine you are literally hearing this for the first time, imagine you didnt even know Anya and Jimmy were "in a relationship", imagine if you did know they were a thing but didnt know what was going on behind closed doors, imagine if this was a one time event and the person you thought you knew was actually just a bad person. Imagine. Having not even a DAY, A DAY TO PROCESS THAT. Imagine if you had your own mental disorders that making it hard to process heavy emotions and now your stuck with this and you dont know what to do Imagine. Thats what Curly had to go thru. I understand why people are mad that Curly didnt do more, but in the end I want to personally believe that it such a complicated situation. That Anya and Jimmy seemed like they were on good terms, that maybe they were okay but they werent because behind closed door or when they were alone, Jimmy was eating Anya alive like some predatory parasite. Its a lot to process and Curly didnt have time to process it. He didn't have time to process that his friend was a monster, that his crew was unsafe, that HE had bad judgement, that maybe HE TOO was a BAD PERSON for NOT SEEING IT SOONER. Sometimes bad things happen and you dont know and you had to hold that guilty forever. Curly isn't a bad person, hes jsut a PERSON, a person going thru and being the sole person responsible for a LOT of literal possible blood on his hands. Hes trying so fucking hard to tread this all lightly to protect everyone. I don't think at all that Curly was trying to protect Jimmy. I think he was trying to protect his crew. Hes trying to be a good captain and sometimes that doesnt mean just fucking putting an axe thru Jimmy's head. Anya doesnt need to see that, Daisuke doesn't need to see that, Im sure Swansea would have volunteered but Curly wouldnt want to turn Swansea into a fucking MURDERER after all the years he spent being an honest man. Anya is already guilty and broken, Daisuke is innocent and young, Swansea is trying so hard to be on the good side of life. Curly is delicately balancing EVERYTHING. ITS ALL ON HIM HE TOOK THIS RESPONSIBILITY AND IT HURTS.

[shartzel]

Do you read fanfic? Any favorites of these 2 lovely messes?

YES!!!! i have so many personal favs for shartzel fics (im assuming thats what u meant and i am so sorry if not) BUT i will try to keep it to maybe like 5-10 favs bc my bookmarks folder for them has like 50+ fucking fics in there its a little insane..... - Truesilver by mylordshesacactus: i think everyone in the shadowzel part of the fandom has read this one honestly but it like. rewired my brain entirely when i first read it. shadowzel raising a kid was something ive never thought abt before, but then i read this fic and all i could think about was them having a domestic married life.......... - though i burn, how could i fall? by Jazzfordshire: THIS FIC GAVE ME THE ABSOLUTE WORST (BEST) BRAINROT EVER... the way the author writes their gradual relationship and their characters in general just AUGH. it itched my brain in the best way possible i love it - And I want to share it all with you. by Rosethornwolf: this fic is still in progress, but it makes me tear up so so so bad. i love soft shadowzel i love that shit so much and i love how the author writes them in general.... please give their other fics a read as well, theyre lovely - Fast Times At Baldur's Gate by Calchexxis: if you want like pure shadowzel fluff, this is THE fic for u. this fucking fic had made me giggling and kicking my legs while reading it cause of how tooth-rotting the fluff is!!!!! sometimes all you need in life is baby high school sweethearts shadowzel... - Truce by Looktotheedges: im sure everyone's read this one as well BUT FUCK ME I LOVE THIS FIC. the author does such a superb job at not only writing shadowzel but also their dynamic with the rest of the party members. i adoreee the found family moments so much and hold it so close to my heart... - sharpens like an image / sharpens like a knife by yeahitshowed: this one is a littleeee angsty. ive waited so very long for a "what did orin do to lae'zel?" fic that also mentions shadowzel and then this author wrote it and i instantly was in shambles. like when i was done reading this fic, all i could think abt were the ways lae’zel would see orin in shadowheart from now on. how that fear she held would always linger Somewhere in the back of her mind and it destroyed me :'D (this will make sense when after reading the fic i promise) - pressing a flower by Isolatedwriting: ending this with another also angsty one but like straight up hurt no comfort angst :) to quote the summary: "durge fails a saving throw" and i have never been the same since actually..................

[commanderhorncleaver]

Trying to read up on as much Gaius lore as I can. Gaius having been a Gladium ks really interesting especially since he ends up becoming the Pact Commander later! In terms of interaction, Leo was never a Gladium, but he was a mere foot soldier nearly his whole life and he was always looked upon them more favorably than he should, just another streak added to his already existing empathy for things hes told he shouldnt feel that way for re: Ascalonian Ghosts. And often found himself conversing/spending speaking with them more then his own warband or ranked charr, as long as they were friendly enough to accept it. So! How would Gaius react if he was approached by Leo just for conversation? Especially if he had already known about the rumors of Leo being a bit of an outcast for being "Too soft" (Refusing to kill to gain ranking, especially if he can avoid it in missions, being too merciful) and spending more time with ghosts than charr? Since he grew up in the black citadel despite being Blood!🤔

(Oop realized this was a bit long, but im down for any sort of interaction even if its conflict! Im also adding a soft invite if this is too long and you would rather head to dms thats totally okay too! I love talking ocs, Gaius seems so cool from what Ive learned abt him) 🫡

FIRST OF ALL, I DO NOT MIND RUNNING LONG-- however this response is gonna run long too, and if you do wanna message on dms I'm more than fine.

I think it largely depends on when in the timeline of the game Gaius would learn about Leo, for the question of how he might respond to being addressed, and the like? Because Gaius has a very funny habit of attempting to "adopt" younger soldiers to "help get them on the right track"-- and where Gaius was indeed a gladium, he didn't much respect any gladium who wasn't actively trying to get back into active duty. He had this interestingly conflicting thing where even AS a gladium himself, he spent as much time as possible sleeping with ranked soldiers so he didn't have to be in the gladium's canton.

Gaius is/was very big on the idea of doing whatever it is one can to contribute as much as possible to their legion: he himself is not particularly capable in most Iron-typical subjects, but he's a great strategist, and takes his job so seriously it kind of works out because he's sort of allowed to do what he wants insofar as... he didn't have a warband for a long time and was mostly just overseeing engineer bands: with mostly paperwork and drills, he was allowed to be a justicier of sorts, doling out punishment for gladium and awols. He was proud of this.

SO the big thing to consider I think is like. How much is Leo willing to put up with some almost 50 year old trying to figure out a lesson plan in "being a better asset to my legion?"

Despite how insanely unflattering this description is, I don't think Gaius would actually find what Leo's up to as hugely disgraceful. I don't think he'd have ADVICE, but this is somebody trying to solve one of the Big Problems Iron (and the Legions at large) are dealing with: the ghosts. He might struggle to understand the point Leo's coming from, with empathy, but this is something more than worth the investment of attention. To note, Gaius circa Ghosts of Ascalon did not personally advocate for the Ebonhawke Treaty, he was adamantly "fuck the humans," however he did A) understand exactly the circumstances and issues as the charr are in the middle of a war on three fronts, and B) he will support his Imperator first and foremost--again, at this time.

FOR THE SAKE OF NOT RAMBLING ON FOREVER, I THINK IT'S A VERY INTERESTING CONCEPT, THE TWO OF THEM TALKING, AND BEFORE I CLOSE OFF, I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW: Gaius' daughter (born after IBS) has the exact same mission: I imagine her revenant magic allows her to literally channel the ghosts of the dead, including those of Ascalonians, giving them their memories and such for an extended period of time. Currently (as in when they first discover this ability of hers) they do not have an idea on how to refine or how she can make this permanent.

[rgr-pop]

okay my job is Very blue collar, can you talk more about being told to go to a… doctor’s appointment???? for inappropriate workplace behavior? is this common? obv not saying you were actually inappropriate. but if someone was homophobic at your workplace, hr can tell them go to therapy??? like a tumblrina scorned???

yes well i can do my best! officially i can say all this now Technically but dont rb but if you are in the field im happy to speak to colleagues, i had a disciplinary action filed against me for privately correcting a coworker for using the wrong pronouns for a trans girl student. she is on the school board and she works closely with someone who lost a city council race in large part because she had worked with bethany christian services and was discredited. so of course i very innocently talked to our director about how im soooo worried about her possibly being radicalized by this issue on the school board--have you watched the news? no? are you not getting the ALA emails....? so i had a conversation with her about she pronouns, she screamed in front of patrons that nobody can tell her what she has to call them. she called our student a karen. i asked my director to handle this, specifically said if you ask me to handle this i will feel like its undue attention as a queer person in the workplace please have someone else do it. set up a process for pronoun stuff, i found him some training resources, the whole thing. his solution was to force me in a meeting with this person in which she said that pronouns quote reminded her of being enslaved. i was not allowed to leave, cried, made five or six on paper and recorded on video claims of quote homophobic retaliation. the other person filed a complaint against me which means she cant face any disciplinary response. officially my report on paper you can probably FOIA it says that the discipline was for using the word homophobic and transphobic. well actually my discipline was for rude behavior in that meeting plus saying the words homophobic and transphobic but they found in my hearing that i was appropriately apologetic for raising my voice and crying but that i refused to apologize for saying homophobic and transphobic (they didnt ask me to but obviously i would not have. so thats what my report says. a little birdie told me that in the hearing discussion the words quote religious freedom were tossed around. its unofficially prohibited to communicate about someones pronouns in the library until further notice and ive been told they will get a procedure on paper next year. as a consequence for my behavior (saying homophobic and transpobic i face mandatory counseling. can they do this - i think yes but i really think its a legal technicality that has never seemed a winnable fight to anyone. my understanding is that it is probably common. what i believe is typically the case is that employers will partner with something called an employee assistance program. the employee-facing component of these orgs is access to mental health services as a benefit (in the case of me, in lieu of healthcare benefits(. employers partner with these orgs to offer those employee-facing mental health services while contracting the company for other org psych/HR services. here is one of the big companies that does this, based in detroit, who i believe does this work with state of michigan employees (who i am not( - https://hmsanet.com/managed-behavioral-health.html the employer contracts this company to provide employee benefit limited mental health services and also uses their services for various disciplinary, mediation, crisis management, probably also consulting purposes. in my case, im being required to have a counseling session with a counselor through what is described by the company and my employer as a voluntary program, but i have been instructed that doing so is mandatory.

interestingly, in the past when ive worked with union members who got this disciplinary action, it was posed to them as they could choose to go to counseling or have a higher level disciplinary action. i was expecting this to happen to me, but i was not given the false option. mandatory referral through your employer are the words used. im required to sign a release of information allowing the counselor to disclose information about my participation and progress and it appears that this will likely be in the form of a checklist certifying my compliance. obviously what i would prefer is to create an even more complete paper trail of them doing homophobia on purpose so were considering the strategy...

[cyanlastride]

i think it would be neat to see how all my friends interact with each other, without me.

put them, in like, a minecraft server together. see what happens.

i want to study my effect on the world. not to change it, but just so i know.

i want to know if my friends would like each other.

i want to know if my friends like me.

i want to know, as a provable fact, that i am a positive force in their lives.

i want to know if anyone feels as strongly about me as i do about others.

i want to know if anyone would die for me.

i dont want them to. i never want them to.

i want to know that its mutual.

thats a sick want. i shouldnt need someone to care about me that much. i had that. i broke it off because i couldnt care about them like that anymore. because it hurt to care about someone i couldnt see. it hurt so much. so i searched for other people to care about. and i found them. thats what really hurt. i found other people who i could see that cared about me. and i could feel my betrayal. so i cut myself off. from everyone. if i cannot support the one person who i care about, then i am not worthy of anyone. i stayed that way for a couple years. ive been trying to find new people to care about, but every time i find someone i cant help but keep them at arms length. i cant help but stop. because i never want to hurt anyone ever again. and if that means i have to live with this pain, with this fear, then so be it.

thats what i fear alone really means.

its my reminder to myself that i deserve it.

fuucking drama queen. get over yourself. you live in the hell you create for yourself -- and thats fine. i dont give a shit. what i do care about is that you drag others down into your hell. thats not cool. you cant keep doing that. thats how you hurt people. and you get lucky, so ridiculously fucking lucky that you keep finding people who dont mind being dragged into hell. its not my job to look any further into that, but its probably fucked no matter which way you fuck it. but you need to stop. you need to live in a world that isnt completely fucking terrible. and youre pretty close, you know that. you choose to be like this. you can control it. it takes a lot of effort, but its possible. so you need to put in that effort. you need to try. then, when other people come and hang out, theyll want to stay. then, when you cant control it, when everything breaks apart, theyll want to stay. theyll see you. stop showing people. let people find. create a world they want to explore.

[bewarebugbear]

we really dont post personal stuff ever but this ones pretty big so- were 3 days on t now

more abt this under the cut

so this whole thing has been 7 years in the making almost, which probably makes it sound like this is going to be a very long retrospective but its not going to be.

the world has come a long way since i first came out, my family has too even if they're not at the point where i feel safe about any of this yet. this year specifically has been a whirlwind of a lot of personal stuff with friends, getting medicated for ADHD finally and pulling myself together enough to graduate. knowing i'm out of highschool is terrifying but im giddy to go to my dream university, at least for one year just to see how i feel.

over my highschool career a few close family members have died and its severely impacted how i see death as a whole. ive immersed myself a bit more into goth music, worked more on some personal projects to the point where im happy enough with my art to try and draw my own comics. even though im an artist first through drawing my original characters, ive found art in a lot of funerary practices.

if art college doesnt work out i will be going into mortuary sciences because i want to tell stories no matter which job career ive chosen. mortuary sciences feels like the best place to make sure voices are heard, dead or alive, to help celebrate peoples lives and experiences. i want to bring people as much comfort as possible and in being a mortician or comic artist- thats my only and main goal.

this was supposed to only be about testosterone but we've really gone off the mark.

(anyways, attley here to give my own piece of perspective, but it's been a hard and interesting year. ive gone through a lot personally especially with my own presentation of gender and sexuality.

my self esteem has taken a lot of shots and ive felt like a creep and gross for multiple different things but im glad to have made through it. ive been able to find myself a lot within our personal projects, as a comfort and as an idea for the people i and the rest of the system want to be.

ari doesnt want to add anything but she's been doing well too.)

anyways- less than a month until we're in new york

thanks to everyone who's believed in us

[p-t-f-s]

everytime i make a new friend or i open up about shit it /always/ ends up at one point or another they say my life is like a tv show or i should write a book or pitch my life - like more a handful amount of times, like damn near every time i make a friend. and like. i wish they were wrong when i try to look objectively at what im telling them and not just. my life that i wake up and live and go to sleep with every day. but also like. thats also a looooooooooot of people ive met??? everyone has interesting and fun stories, but most of life is so similarly repetitive that we forget it more than we experience. also i do believe it is my autistic rizz. and ability to self sooth and parent.

[its all just personal life bitching/discussion/musings below]

anyways i wish life would be calm for like. a couple months pls. i know a year is too much to ask but literally this year has been a lot. like last year was a lot but it wasnt a fucking competition. getting my car stolen again, then losing my job in what was supposed to be my 5 year anniversary, and then finding out my uncle had stage 4 cancer. then it was spring break and i got to visit my cousing with a thankfully preplanned and prepayed vacation during the midst and height and she and her husband were like "heres our cocktail maker. get as drunk as you want" which was nice of them so i stayed tipsy half the time i was awake instead of high while in seattle. went to a wine tasting expo. got throw up drunk. my cousin was very impressed by my ability to keep my manners while drunk past my tits and wait to throw up till after id rolled the window down and stuck my head out. i was getting blackout drunk bc id apparently texted my friends i loved them which i had no recollection of doing considering my phone was actively dying while i was still only actually tipsy at that expo. i was also less stress then bc my car had been found. totalled, crashed and smashed in the front which thankfully i owed less than it was worth so they payout covered the downpayment for my new car. rip to not getting my personalized horse license plate with my name on it. then i get back home and my uncle is now dead and the whole family is in town for the funeral. its been a cascade of em for a few years now since my mom started the party back in 21.

by the viewing id started a new job for a week. close by home and only a dollar less than previously. they were asking a whole lot for shit pay in truth. and NOW. I FIND OUT THE JOB I STARTED WHILE TAKING A FRAUD ACCOUNTING CLASS. MIGHT BE VICTIM TO FRAUD. POSSIBLY SINCE INCEPTION AND IN THE MOST TERRIBLY HORRIBLY OBVIOUS WAY THAT JUST KEPT SLOWLY AND SLOWLY GETTING PEELED AND REVEALED. I love it when the head of one department tells me hes in cahoots with the head of another dpt and a few workers from their and others about the terrible company shit they found and are kinda looking at other jobs. ofc he did say that after i said to his face that i was spending a bit every morning applying to other jobs after learning of the possible fraud VIA OUR """CONSULTING CFO""" having been previously convicted of fraud. twice. over a decade between convictions. were getting drinks later this week for him to tell me everything else hes found and lurked about in the system. and how no one understands what accounting is or does or how i actually spend half or most of my day playing solitaire or watching anime. bc they want me to be a controller but are calling and paying me at the clerk level. so thats what they get. i love the phrase act your wage.

theres still so many other things that have happened this year too that i still havent mentioned. like the moon hole. passive aggressive fighting with my upstairs neighbor who said i was "delusional and fucking hallucinating" bc i said he stomps in the middle of the night. and literally as i typed that there he went above my head at. ah. 10:58 pm. since my second talking to him in march i know ive not been the only one to talk to him about his shaking the goddamn foundations of the building or waking the toddler constantly in the apartment next to his, diagonal from mine. the surprise birthday party my friends threw for me after literally freightening me when i came home with surprise and each giving me different hearfelt and attentive gifts of all my different interests. weekly dinners with my dad on the same days he was court ordered to have my older siblings and i during the week as he lives 10 minutes away taking care of our grandfather. hes the only reason i get updates on my older sisters life as she blocked me on all social media and cut me from her life before our mothers death for our differing political beliefs. infighting truly is the death of leftists as out beliefs were always closer together than to that of our very republican parents. but im also not an american government shoe loving authority cuck like most the rest of em. "you know what its like to be a minority bc you were a literal minority of being white kids going to a majority black school in the city." to my fucking FACE. not only is that incredibly dismissive on so many levels but like with how LEGITIMATELY my siblings took and NOODED THEIR HEADS?????? TO IT. truly fiction is a joke compared to life.

anyways this is the most any of you will ever get from me here on tumblr in months, good luck to any of my followers seeing this who were unaware i am a person and wassup to my mutuals entirely unaware of my life and smooches to my dear dear friends who are all very aware of all of this. everyone else. idgaf, this was for me to vent and proclaim. bc i lay down in my bed with my cat looking very disappointed that im not asleep despite how late it is and i have to go to sleep keeping all of that with me for the rest of my life. oh it may not stay close, it may not be completely there by the end, but i know i will always be aware even more so than before when i was living out of my car, of what i keep in and am willing to leave in and with it. I have somehow kept that cute little cactus my friend gave my for my birthday alive still, i now have a whole wall of plants that ive kept alive for over a year, and i plant to keep that as long as I can. I have presents and gifts and memories that i plan to look fondly on tomorrow and the day after and the day after that and so on. afterall. I need to check on my plants and water them, and feed my cat. everyday a tragedy happens and still i must feed my cat. my mother was dying, and still i had to feed my cat. was she suffering? no, she was not even there anymore to be suffering and still i must go home and feed my cat and sleep and wake up and there is my cat to welcome my mornings after guarding my nights, a clear agreement that she must be fed once pleased with her pettings. my elder sister blocked me and cut me from her life before our mothers death and even during she did not change, strong in her stance and belief not even grief would change or ease her foundations. nor would my grief stop my cat from being fed. every day i wake and sleep with all these things and one day my cat will die. and i will grieve. and it will not be her that gets me through it, but she will never be parted from me again. i will wake up and make the same sleepy motions that indicate her morning ritual that will not be performed. my day will be as different and as same as it was before. i will sleep and i will wake with it all and i will meet someone new and tell them the first time i really got into energy drinks was after getting a whole case for being a smartass at 7am to emergency driving instructors. that i only started drinking coffee bc a boy who liked me worked at starbucks and so gave me a large giftcard and an in to getting my first job at starbucks. you never know why or how somethings started.

[thingsdontgetbetter]

yeahh anyway part 2/x

end of that rant and onto basically i guess my suicide note for my dear friends! i left a note for the apartment people that is intentionally very vague because my past attempts have always failed and its the worst feeling in the world to try and explain the note to whoever stops you or finds you, and i dont want that at all, which is why i can delete this if i live through this somehow, and on top of that, i dont think most of the people i know will ever find this. its basically to just you three. if you want to share this to anyone i guess go ahead because if this gets posted i dont think im around to care about it

ive thought about where ive been this exact day each year for the last 10 years, and each year its with someone i had i was super close to that i dont have anymore. and for this entire time i can say specifically this person was really bad to me, this person was harmful to others, what we had was temporary, or whatever, but the idea it is a theme that keeps repeating until i have no one left and no ability to let someone like that back in, i think more than anything is a signal of me, in the possibilities of like, maybe i am not a good person to be around, maybe i attract these kinds of people, maybe i in a way are also these people, maybe i cant keep anyone around, maybe i am the common denominator in way you cut it. and i think one if not all of these is true. i think i have some kind of deep dark evil hatred like super deep ingrained in my heart that will never be gone. i think i find comfort and similarity in finding things to hate because thats all ive known growing up, i think i am happier when im upset, i think i use that to manipulate people to whenever i need something to hate making them think im a victim somehow, and i dont want to and i dont mean to, but i know my elder relatives were like that and im never in my head to verbalize in my mind thats what im doing, i dont do it consciously, but in that way still, i take and i hurt everyone i care about. i wont let myself or others be happy. it will eventually always happen that i make a falling out with someone because if that doesnt happen im unfamiliar with whats going on i dont know what is happening.. and i make whatever needs to happen to feel that cycle again. in the period before i do this i get seriously codependent on a single person, to where i live my life for that person, and my being is made to cater to whatever that is, and i do that i think in response to the feeling of not wanting to be alone, to finding a person that makes me happy and wanted, to never ever wanting to let that go, selfishly, until it finally boils up to constricting that persons abilities, and when they start freaking out for needing space, i cant take the rejection of losing that, and make myself the victim. i wish i couldve broken this down in therapy, but the last 6 months have been mostly figuring out short term disability. i figured out i was not getting paid for the disability about 1-2 weeks ago, sometime at the beginning of june, and i knew then there was no getting out of needing to off myself. the reasoning for their rejection is that i didnt provide my hr with all the documentation for my leave, which they never said they needed, and i did provide my hr with that information, but the way short term leave works with my job is in periods of 2 weeks at a time, and since i missed sending them the same paper that they requested for 2 weeks in februrary at a specific time (i sent it to them after when i realized it worked this way but it was too late for it to be recognized) they never accepted it, they just had it under a status of documentation not found. and im technically still with my job, but if i said ok stl over im coming back tomorrow, my manager would say we dont have that documentation youre fired. i cannot go back, i cannot send them the documentation, and im stuck in this kind of limbo. ive honestly been waiting for that email saying "youre fired!!" if it had come especially earlier i couldve at least applied for unemployment benefits or something, which would not have been a lot a week, but it still wouldve been something.

[mbabol]

hallows night 6

BEAT TRAITOR LORD? WNTRY IS INSANE? i guessed that he would have betrayed to the pale king but I DIDNT THINK HED BE THE ACTUAL MANTIS LORD THAT WAS OUSTED? HOLY SHIT? also love the consistent gender theme that follows the story

erm also his entry said he actually betrayed to the infection. so. like. its a choice u can make sometimes. to give yourself to the infection for more power. weirdge. so this is how it ties into the pale king possibly creating the infection out of greed for more strength and glory

wow found so many npcs. so first off its ROOT LADY? the white lady. I SAW THE HOUSE EARLIER AND WAS LIKE WTF GOW DO I GET THERE. WELL. NOW I KNOW. also i was wondering what all the roots were about!!!!! huh.

yeah she said a lot of important thingns. 1) she was waiting for someone like me to give the half charm to. so ive been predestined or longed for as a solution 2) SHE KNOWS ABT HORNET. AND HORNET IS THE DAUGHTER OF SOME MOTHER? WAIT A MINUTE. I ONLY KNEW SHE WAS THE KID OF THE PALE KING WHOS THE MAM. sidenote lol at hornet being the gendered child thats actually so funny i love it 3) "i never begrudged the wyrms dalliance as bargain. in fact i feel some affection for the creature birthed" WHAT. WHAT DOES RHIS MEAN. THE WYRM? LIKE THE ONE IN THE FAR ENDS? THE KING ? IS IT NOT THE KING ? WHAT IS HAPPENING. 4) WAIT ALSO WHY WAS THERE A WHITE KNIGHT DEFENDING IT OUTSIDE? I EVEN DREAM NAILED AND IT WAS THINKING PROTECT. IT LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE THE WHITE KNIGHT AT THE PALACE GROUNDS?????????? WHATS HAPPENING 5) ok weve got another mission statement from her to take the place of the vessel. confirmation that my job is to suck up that infection. it is rlly interesting that she mentions the reason why the vessel failed is bc it was tarnished by an idea instilled. colonization 6) WAIT A MINUTE I THOUGHT HORNET WAS THE VESSELS DAUGHTER NGL BC THEY LOOK SO SIMILAR WAIT A SECOND . HUH

christ. i also found. mushroom man. what the hell. since when was he there. hwy did he have lore relevant info. wyrms pull bugs into their thrall.....

i also um. found. the key to the love tower. weirdge btw i was so scared it was going to be a fucking. courtesan/consort kind of scene but ITS JUST THE GUY WHOS BEEN TRAPPING ALL THE GRUBS???????? WHAT. THE FUCKING TOM AND JERRY TRAP DIAGRAM. WHAT THE HELL. AT LEAST ITS GONNA BE EASIER TO FIND THE GRUBS NOW

im also. so close. to ocmpleting charms. h

still not done w bee boss it was hard >< so im wandering around wrapping up loose ends in the meantime

IH YEAH FOUND THE GOD THING? GODSEEKER? IT WAS BY ACCIDENT I SPOILED MYSELF BC I WAS LOOKING FOR GRUB ON WIKI BUT IM HAPPY I FOUND. I LOVE EXTRA COLOSSEUM.

[gingersp1ce547]

I will say before this that i have not completely understood the full span of his lore yet so my opinion is going to be influenced by that but from what ive seen in the streams/clips/vods I’ve watched of him. He’s an easy going guy who tries not to take things to seriously. However things become complicated when he gets attached to his little family of leo, q!roier and q!vegetta.

He shows his attachment to his eggs in a different way than most people on the server. Treating them like small adults and often jokingly beefing with them. However, we know he really does care from multiple scenes (the egg room at the end of purg 1 is a great example)

Because of these attachments, when he get the opportunity to get insider info, he always takes it. Theory bros? Founding member, the order? Another founding member. The federation? Became enough of a high ranking member to be trusted in a meeting to arrest another member (though possibly not enough to not avoid getting froze again if his prison van wasn’t just to full other inhabitants) and thats not even mentioning his general high observation skills that most people dont notice because of his fun disposition

All of these positions help him by getting him information, and in a way he’s similar to charcters like q!cellbit and q!bagi who are investigators, the main difference to me being that i dont think he minds much if people hate him for his ‘allegiances.’ Again, everything feels kinda small potatoes to him. Which is why throwing q!tazercraft in prison wasnt that hard for him.

What he does care about is how his actions affect the ones he really deeply cares about. I think q!tazercrafts prank on him after they escape is kind of a wake up call to him in that sense.

Yes, he knew their was a possibility that peoples hatred of him could spread to leo but i dont think up until that point he’d really considered that people would try to hurt her because of that.

Going forward with his actions, things get more gray. Especially during the murder investigations. Because on one hand progressing through this job means more info to protect the people he cares about with but on another hand turning in q!cellbit means potentially hurting a close friend (and son-in-law) on the island.

After purgatory things get even more complicated as he has to try to balance what he thinks q!cellbits intentions were with these murders alongside what would keep him most safe amongst all the other things i mentioned above.

I think it’s telling that in the end, q!foolish cant come to a decision on his own. Instead he places his decision in the hands of fate and almost gamifies it in order to relieve the real stress of having to make such a large decision.

Another great example of q!foolish’s conflict of interests is his relationship with q!phil in the prison because i think its the first time he’s realizing that knowing people may not trust you because of your allegiances is one thing and actually experiencing it. (Especially to someone like q!phil who has become such a trusted friend in q!foolish’s life after purgatory) is another.

I think it’s telling here that during the scene where q!phil is in solitary and q!foolish has the opportunity to let him out at the risk of loosing some his respect from the the feds, he takes it.

The best way i can explain q!foolish’s relationships with others in general is that if he attaches to you, then theirs not a lot you can do to get rid of that attachment. His devotion to his relationship with q!vegetta being a great example of this in my mind.

So, to finally answer your question: q!foolish is a fun loving immortal (explains his commitment to not taking things seriously, though it doesnt have to be that) who go attached to people and now has to try to balance what he feels he needs to do with what he wants to do. I’m not sure i’d say that he’s completely a good person but I’d definitely not say he’s heartless or evil and for the most part he does his best to not harm others if he can afford it/he cares enough about them

And, i love him as a character for all of that and probably will still love him even if i’m wrong about everything i just said because i think he is a prime example in my mind of how to have a well-rounded and complex comic relief character without taking away from that character’s ability to continue to be funny

Was writing a qFoolish analysis post and genuinely what I want to know is how do people see qFoolish, like I know how other characters see him but what about y’all? What is he to you? Who is he to you? Do you think he’s good or bad? Do you even like him?

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Hint

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis submitted by @jasmine11685: Peter gets jealous when you have to flirt with someone on a mission

Masterlist

“Wow.”

That was the only word Peter could say as you descended the staircase in a form fitting black dress. The slit up the side added an elegant touch, something needed for the ball you were going to.

“You look pretty “wow” yourself.” You smiled shyly as you lifted the hem of your dress to walk towards him. “The suit is a nice change from the flannels, though I do love those.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words formed in his brain. As soon as you put your hands on his collar to tuck it under his suit jacket, his name was lost on his and all he knew was yours.

“So this is what it’s like to be speechless.” He chuckled nervously as you straightened his jacket.

“Shut up.” You giggled as your face flushed. “Your ties a little crooked.”

“Thanks.” Peter whispered as you adjusted his tie. “You look beautiful. Like, the kind of beautiful that makes you want to cry when you look at it.”

“Thank you.” You laughed again, out of habit. You looked at Peter through your eyelashes as your shaking hands slid down his jacket.

“Nervous?” He asked softly when he noticed your unsteady demeanor.

“A little.” You smiled weakly. “It’s uh, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to waste all this beautiful on some douche who won’t appreciate it.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Peter assured you. “All of it. What is your mission exactly?”

“I just have to get some information out of Harry Osborn. Apparently he’s the only one who knows what’s his father has been doing up at Oscorp. We have to find out his plans before he does something dangerous. Could you help me with this?” You asked as you handed him a diamond necklace. You turned around and Peter carefully moved your hair off of your back.

“Oh.” He said in surprise as he clasped the necklace around your neck. “And how are you planing on getting that information?”

“I’m gonna flirt with him like my life depends on it.” You said confidently as you turned back around. “Because who knows? It might.”

Peters face twitched in confusion as his eyebrows knit together. He felt a white hot jealousy run all the way to his scalp when he learned about the plan.

“You have to flirt with that asshole?” Peter laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “He’s a total playboy. He’s probably never done his own laundry a day in his life.”

“I think I can handle him.” You winked at him as you touched your your lipstick. “And his laundry.”

“I have no doubt in your abilities. I just wish you didn’t have to use them on him.” Peter said, mostly to himself.

“It’s fine, Pete.” You assured him. “I’m actually excited to do it.”

“Excited?” Peter began to sweat.

“Yeah.” You grinned in excitement. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever had in a mission. I really want to do a good job so I can impress my dad. That means I’m gonna have to pull out my best flirting.”

“Your best flirting?” Peter was really beginning to panic now.

“Yup. I need this boy to fall in love with me.” You told him. “Watch, by the end of the night, he’ll be putty in my hands.”

“I don’t think you should do this, Y/n.” Peter blurted. “I think we should get Natasha or someone else to do it. You shouldn’t have to be the shiny object we use to distract the enemy.”

“I’m fine with it, Pete. My dad didn’t give me this role because I’m pretty. He gave me this role because I have good communication and manipulation skills. Plus, I’m closest to Harry’s age. It all works out.”

“He could be really dangerous.” Peter protested. “You could get hurt.”

“I’m really dangerous.” You stated. “And he’s definitely gonna get hurt.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Peter sighed, making you look at him. You walked over to him and cupped his face in your hands, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I got this, Petey.” You said gently. “I know you’re worried about me, but you have no reason to be. I can do this. And you, Sam, and my dad are gonna be listening the whole time. We’re gonna catch this guy. I know it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. If things go wrong-“

“They won’t.” You cut him off. “Go ask my dad. He drew up every possible outcome of this plan and they all end with Harry getting his ass kicked.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded and gave you a smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr. Stark.”

~

“You just had to believe in her.” Peter grouched as he barged into Tony’s office. “You just had to recognize her talent and trust her enough to carry the mission.”

“I’m sorry. Is that anger directed towards moi?” Tony touched a hand to his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah, I am.” Peter said. “You know I like Y/n and sent her off to flirt with the richest playboy in New York City?”

“Hey.” Tony said sternly. “Playboy is my thing.”

“Why did you have to make her do this job?” Peter whined. “She’s gonna fall in love with him and forget all about me.”

“He’s a criminal, Peter.” Tony reminded him.

“So? Girls love that!” He protested. “You remember how she acted around Loki.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tony rolled his eyes. Peters face shifted back to his forlorn expression and Tony saw how much this was hurting him.

“Look, kid, don’t sweat this mission.” He said as he put a hand on Peters shoulder. “She’s just gonna get the information she needs from Harry and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You can go right back to your little will-they-won’t-they bullshit or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I have a plan.” Peter insisted. “And Harry is going to put a serious wrench in my plan, thanks to you.”

“You have a plan?” Tony doubted. “Ive been watching you pine after my daughter for years. When is this plan going into action exactly?”

“I’m just going to think really hard about how I’m in love with her and wait until she realizes.” Peter mumbled as he adverted his eyes.

“Yeah?” Tony cocked his head. “And how’s that going for you?”

“I think she’s just about to get the hint.” Peter said and Tony let out a groan.

“Kid, just ask her out.” He reasoned. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could hear me.” Peter stated. “And then say no.”

“She’s never gonna take the hint unless you actually give her the hint.” Tony reasoned. “Why don’t you try tonight? She’ll be all giddy from successfully completing the mission. Perfect time to confess those bottled up feelings.”

“I don’t know.” Peter sighed. “Maybe.”

~

An hour later, you were making eyes at Harry from the bar. After locking eyes a few times, you signaled for him to come over.

“Hey.” Harry knocked on the bar twice and looked down at you. He sized you up before smiling in approval and sending you a nod.

“Hey.” You gave him a sultry smile as he sat down.

“You all by yourself?” He asked as he drummed his fingers on the bar.

“I was.” You took a sip and looked at him through your lashes. “Until you came along.”

“Mind if I stay?” He raised an eyebrow as he flagged down the bartender. You made a face as he ordered a drink before smiling at him.

“I prefer it.” You flirted.

“Good.” He accepted his drink and took a long sip. “I don’t like being told no.”

“Then you better give me something to say yes to.” You leaned on your hand and leaned towards him. Inside, you were gagging at his arrogance. On the outside, you were eating it up.

And that made two of you.

“Oh God.” Peter gagged as he listened to the banter through his ear piece. “This is torture.”

Sam, who was standing next to him as they both kept an eye on you, gave Peter a look.

“Relax, kid.” He sighed. “She’s just doing her job.”

“You’re a pretty bold girl. I like that.” Harry cupped your chin before releasing it. “Just not as bold as me.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbed his drink, and downed the rest before slamming the glass down. “How about now?”

“Oh, you are going to get me into trouble.” Harry chuckled and he scooted closer to you. Peter watched in disdain as the jealousy coursed through his veins again.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” You crawled. “Don’t you like trouble?”

“I love it.” He insisted as he held out his hand. “My names Harry Osborn. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“I have.” You smirked as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Why is she talking like that?” Peter whined upon hearing your flirty tone. “She never talks like that.”

“Because she’s not trying to sleep with you, dummy. Thats why.” Sam snorted as he continued to watch.

“What?” Peter snapped his head towards Sam. “She’s not trying to sleep with that guy. She’s just getting information out of him.”

“Yeah well, guys tend to talk a lot more once you’ve tired them out.” Sam shrugged as he sipped his own drink. Pete’s face fell as he stared Harry down with daggers in his eyes.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Peter mumbled.

“Shhh.” Sam waved his hand. “I’m trying to listen.”

“So,” you took another sip from your drink, “Whats it like being the son of one of the most powerful men in the city? Wasn’t your dad like, 25 when he founded Oscorp.”

“23, but who’s keeping score.” Harry shrugged as he looked around the room. “I’ll probably do something like that soon. Maybe something even bigger. I already have a lot of ideas. Pretty impressive, huh?”

“Totally.” You egged him on but rolled your eyes when he looked away. “Do you ever get to watch his experiments?”

“Baby, I’ve seen just about all of them.” Harry bragged as he played with your dangling earrings. “He’s done things you wouldn’t believe. Things that aren’t even legal.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes widened in excitement and you leaned in closer. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you here.” Harry pulled away suddenly and sighed. “I don’t want anyone hearing.”

“Alright.” You purposefully took the bait. “Then let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Do you know a place?” He played nonchalant as he put a hand on your knee. Peter watched the scene in front of him and looked away.

“Yeah. My bedroom.” You smirked and stood up. “Let’s go there.”

“Bold.” Harry rubbed his hands together and stood up as well. “You’re dangerous.”

You took his hand and lead him towards the elevator, feeling the gun that was strapped to your thigh brush against your leg as you walked.

“You have no idea.” You mumbled. You passed Sam and Peter and gave them a nod as you lead Harry towards his interrogation. Peter looked like he was ready to fight someone and Sam looked entirely amused. You gave them a thumbs up before leading Harry upstairs.

~

“What’s the craziest thing your dad has done?” You asked as you sat down on the bed. You flicked your leg out and pretended to examine your heels to draw his attention. Harry took the bait and held your ankle in his hands, admiring the fancy shoes Mr. Stark had given you for the mission.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked coyly as he looked up at you.

“Because I like to get a little crazy myself and I want to know how much you can handle.” You shrugged as you shook your hair out. Peter gulped as he listened, feeling his jaw tighten in anger. Tony joined him and Sam at their post and looked around for you and Harry.

“How’s the mission going?” He asked when he didn’t see you anywhere.

“Horrible.” Peter grumbled.

“She didn’t get him to the secondary location?” Tony worried.

“She did.” Sam cut in. “Peters just mad that his girlfriend just found herself a boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter snapped. “Maybe she would have been if Mr. Stark wasn’t a destroyer of young love.”

“Parker, quiet.” Sam commanded. “I’m trying to listen.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Harry folded his arms as he looked down on you.

“You can trust me.” You told him as you reached up to grab his tie. You used it to pull yourself up and off the bed before planting a kiss right on his mouth.

“What was that?” Peter touched his fingertips to his ear piece when he heard silence from your end.” Why did she pause?”

“She didn’t pause.” Sam shook his head as he checked his watch.

“Then what-“

“She kissed him.” Tony cut in while giving Peter an apologetic look.

“She kissed him?” All the color drained from Peters face and Tony felt he was to blame.

“You know the Green Goblin?” Harry asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.” Harry admitted, and Tony and Sam quickly wrote it down.

“No way.” You pretended to be impressed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. He was dying so he invented this serum to keep himself alive. It ended up giving him all these crazy abilities.” Harry boasted, incriminating himself further. “And he’s got this glider that he can fly around on. You’d love it. It’s very shiny.”

“Wow. I love shiny.” You gushed, fighting the urge to punch him in the throat then and there. “How much serum did he make?”

“He has one more vile that he said he’d give to me when I’m older.” Harry tweaked his eyebrow as he smirked.

“So you’re gonna be the next Green Goblin? Isnt he a bit of a bad guy?” You continued to draw information out of him as your fingers danced around his collar.

“Maybe I am bad guy.” Harry shrugged. “Like father, like son.”

Harry leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged it and laughed as you moved away.

“Bad, huh?” You composed yourself so you wouldn’t be suspicious. “What else has he done?”

“He gave one of our scientists these metal arms. They can rip a person in half. Ive seen it happen.” Harry continued to brag and you recorded every word of it.

“Dr. Occtavius.” Tony realized. “That’s how he got his weapons.”

“Thats crazy.” You gasped and played with his hair. “What’s your dad gonna do?”

“He’s basically forming a league of bad guys.” Harry shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guys way worse than the Avengers.”

“Does he have a problem with the Avengers?” You wondered.

“My dad hates them. I hate them too.” Harry scoffed and you held back a laugh. “That’s why we’re gonna wipe them out. New York can’t rely on a bunch of guys in dress up, and we’re gonna show them that.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“With an attack on New York City on the 8th.” Harry told you, and Tony immediately wrote it down. “The Avengers won’t know what hit them.”

“That sounds pretty scary. Will you keep me safe?” You batted your eyelashes at him and he ate it up.

“I can’t listen to this.” Peter took out his earpiece and slammed it on the counter. “I’m going in there.”

“Parker! Stay where you are and - you know what? I don’t care.” Sam shrugged it off and continued to listen to your conversation.

“Of course baby.” He cupped your face in his hands. “It’s gonna be a direct hit on the Avengers tower. A pretty thing like you won’t be anywhere near there.”

“Actually”, you took his hands off your face and dropped your smile, “I will.”

“What?” Harry’s face faltered at your sudden mood change.

“Did you get that guys?” You touched your fingers to your ear piece and waited for the confirmation. “Copy that, dad.”

“What?” Harry’s face twisted in anger. “You’re an Avenger?”

“Look at you! So smart. You figured it out.” You said sarcastically.

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re an Avenger. You’re my age and a chick.”

“Not just an Avenger. I’m a Stark too. Want me to prove it to you?” You asked casually.

“How?” Harry raised an eyebrow. You gave him a swift punch to the throat that knocked him on his back.

“Like that.” You blew your hair off your forehead as you checked your nails.

“You bitch.” Harry wheezed from the floor.

“You see, I can’t have you and your father attacking my friends.” You crouched down beside him and shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take you in.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Harry swiped at you but you dodged it.

“I know. But this cute little microphone recorded everything you said and sent it to the police.” You pouted and pointed to your mic. “They should be here soon. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your face before the get here.”

“I’m not going to prison.” Harry grumbled as he sat up.

“Aw, but you are.” You said as you pulled him off the floor and put his hands behind his back. “Daddy can’t bail you out of this one, like how he bailed you out of your 17 parking tickets.”

“How do you know about that?” Harry asked as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“I know everything, bitch.” You leaned into his ear to growl.

“No. I’m not going down for this.” Harry broke out of your hold and swung at you. You dodged the first one, but he got you right in the jaw with the second one. You stood up and got ready to fight him as he put his fists up.

“You’re not even that pretty.” He exclaimed as he swung at you again. Right as his fist collided with your face, Peter burst in the door.

“Yes she is!” Peter shouted as he jumped on Harry’s back. Harry threw Peter onto the bed and lunged for you again. You close-lined him with your arm and dug your heel into his back once he was on the ground.

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked as you stepped on Harry’s back harder with your heel. “I got this.”

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Peter panted as he got off the bed.

“You won’t get away with this. I will sue!” Harry writhed around beneath your heel.

“Can it wait?” You asked as you pulled Harry off the ground. “I’m a little busy.”

“It can’t wait.” Peter shook his head as you shoved Harry against the wall. “There’s something I’ve been holding in for a long time and I need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t even bother dude.” Harry said with his face squished against the wall. “She’s a total bitch.”

“Was I talking to you?” Peter growled before shooting a web at Harry’s wrists to handcuff him.

“Ohhh I see.” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Spiderman is mad that I stole his girlfriend.”

“Can you shut up? I’m trying to have a conversation here.” You barked at Harry. “I’m sorry, Peter. Please continue.”

“I didn’t want you to flirt with Harry tonight because you can do a lot more than just sit still and look pretty.” Peter began.

“I know that, Peter.” You nodded.

“I also didn’t want you to flirt with him because I was jealous.” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You asked as you put Harry in the hotel chair and began to tie him up.

“He likes you, stupid.” Harry grumbled. You shot Harry and angry look, but when you looked back at Peter, he was nodded.

“He’s right.” Peter admitted , taking you by surprise.

“You like me?” You lips twitched into a smile as you tightened Harry’s rope. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. You’re my best friend, Y/n.” Peter said softly. “If you didn’t like me back, everything would change. We’d still be friends but it wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t want to risk that.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned. “I should’ve been more clear then.”

“Do you seriously have to do this here?” Harry whined and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“Clear about what?” Peter wondered.

“That I like you too.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Tony listened to the confession over the ear pierce and smiled to himself.

“There you go kid.” He mumbled to himself. “She got the hint.”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​

@foreverxholland​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @maryjanee23​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @unbelievableholland​ @rebekkah4766​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​ @itscaminow @fiantomartell​ @solarxmoonchild​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @parkerboop​ @smilexcaptainx​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @kickingn-ames​ @babeyspidey​ @seasidecrowbar​ @lovelessdagger​ @love-sick-blues​ @electraheart-3174​ @unbelievableholland​ @yourtypicalhotmess​ @spideyanakin​ @horanxholland​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @marshxx​ @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie​ @tomshufflepuff​ @cookiemonstermusic258​

@maybemona @young-romanoff @alexxcorona113 @spideyspeaches @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @im-still-tryin-to-find-it @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper  @thestylestour  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @satanswitchings @okkulta @parkerlovebot @sarcasticallywitty15 @mati4188 @geminiparkers @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @far-from-holland @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @dreamedforu @itmatteredatthetime  @monimillion @amazinggracy @slutforsebstan @iprobablyshipit91 @magicalxdaydream @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion @alwayssandy

[itsm3indig0]

klance fan fic where lance is a singer famous and keith(who has no idea who lance is) is a manager at lance’s favorite restaurant and he constantly argues flirts with keith. which keith hated at first but grows to enjoy and recuperate. and they slowly fall for each other even go on a few date. (and by dates i mean keith would close down the restaurant and keiths chef hunk would make them something special and they would enjoy their time together as if they didn’t already just spend the whole day in the restaurant.) keith has never felt like this before and was scared of letting someone in at first but the more time they spent together the more he found himself open to the idea

 one day a new hire at the restaurant is being keiths shadow (a shadow is a new employee who follows a more experienced employee to learn from them) and she sees lance and freaks out and keith is really confused and the girl turns to him and is like “How do you not know who this is?!” and lance is practically begging the girl to not tell him, trying to change the topic and the girls like “This Lance Mcclain!! He is one of my favorite singers!!! and keith is like “what the fuck” and lance looks like he’s about to cry he gets up and is like “i gotta go” keith fires the girl goes home and looks up lance to find he is one of the top artist of 2222 he’s even acted in some movies. keith is like really fucking confused bc lance likes to brag but has never once brought this up

so hes goes to work the next day hoping lance would come but he doesn’t not the next day or the next. He texted and called but never heard back. In fact keith never hears from lance again until 2 months later theres a meet and greet in his town that he goes to, marches right up to that desk and lance almost jumps out of his skin when he sees him and keith planned to say something snarky and rude but he falters and is like “why didnt you come back?” lance is like “i didnt want you to know” and keith is like “why this seems like a really big part of your life… i thought… i thought we told each other stuff like this” and lance is like “i… we cant talk about this right now” and turns to his bodyguards pidge and allura has them escort him back stage.

at the end of the event lance comes back there and sits down next to keith whos done nothing but pout the 2 hours he was back there and lance is like “stop frowning youll get wrinkles” which is something he used to say all the time to keith when they first met. Keith cant help a small sad smile that forms he looks at lance trying to will himself not to cry and is like, “why… why didnt you come back? was i not good enough for the famous Lance Mcclain?” and lance is like “NO NO NO thats not it! i just… i didnt want you to know bc i liked how we were. i wasnt The Famous Lance Mcclain with you i was just lance and you liked me for me and thats all ive wanted for so long.” and keith snorts and lance is like “i just bared my soul to you why are you laughing!!”and keith is like “lance it doesn’t matter what you do bc thats not who you are. your job doesn’t define you. you could be an fbi assassin and you’d still the be lance who choked on mash potatoes which i still dont know how thats even possible” “Hey i thought we agreed to never bring that up again!” “the point is lance i dont think any differently about you now that i know what you do. you’re still the annoying stupid lance ive grown to love.” and they kiss and its super romantic and cute!

“and besides youve always been famous to me.”

“awww keith-“

“- a famous pain in my ass”

[noelle-holi-gay]

deltarune theory time

im not a big theory person but ive been thinking a lot about how Noelle’s role as the Angel might play out in the plot, and what her relation to the prophecy might be, and I think I may have found some interesting connections, so pop down below the cut if youre into that sort of thing

We all pretty much know by now that Noelle is associated very heavily with ‘The Angel’, a figure from Ralsei’s Prophecy in chapter 1.

She mentions growing angel wings which is pretty on the nose:

She’s shown in this very evocative crucifixion pose, which also highlights how angelic her Dark World clothes are in general:

And there’s a lot more of these that have been noted elsewhere (including the ‘snow angel’ pun which is so Very toby fox)

But anyway, that’s old news, it’s been pretty common knowledge for a while. But like... what the hell does this mean? Why is she being associated with the angel SO MUCH, and how does that relate to the “ANGEL’S HEAVEN” from the Prophecy?

Here’s the lines from the Prophecy about the Angel:

So, the job of the Three Heroes of Legend is to seal the fountains and banish the ANGEL’S HEAVEN. These could be two separate, distinct objectives, I guess, but the implication is that sealing the fountains is what will banish the Angel’s Heaven, and that the Angel wants lots of fountains.

This is VERY INTERESTING when taking into account that Noelle is the first person to bring up creating more fountains after the Queen fight:

She seems to view the Dark World as a fun, utopic dreamland. A Heaven, perhaps. We get another nod to this when Ralsei tells of the Roaring:

‘Is that your idea of paradise?’ The use of the word ‘paradise’ is very interesting here, as that word’s archaic meaning is literally just synonymous with Heaven. The Dark World is Noelle’s Paradise; the Dark World is The Angel’s Heaven.

The Angel is clearly set up in the prophecy as an antagonist to the Heroes of Legend, but it’s strange to think of Noelle taking up an antagonistic role. There’s always Snowgrave, which -- i mean, yeah, that’s almost certainly leading to an epic Noelle boss fight after she inevitably snaps and turns on Kris/the Player. But I think it’s possible that the normal routes could also lead to Noelle put in this critical position; if Rudy’s health continues to deteriorate, Noelle, faced with both the trauma of already having lost December and the prospect of being alone with her mother (who’s obviously not winning any Mom of the Year awards anytime soon), might take desperate measures in order to gain access to her healing magic. She’s already expressed that she wished she had it in real life, after all. And look at this:

After Ralsei explains the Roaring, Berdly, Susie, and Queen are shocked -- and Noelle seems completely unfazed, standing there with her default sprite. She doesn’t express regret for proposing the idea in the first place, either.

This is obviously getting into some pretty sketchy speculation; there’s so much going on in this game, and with five chapters to go we’re all working off of breadcrumbs, but I definitely think we might be seeing Noelle stick more closely to this notion of wanting to stay in the Dark World as time goes on, even more than Susie seems to be.

But thats just a theory. A GAAAAAAME THE-- *gets shot*

[awsugar]

Like… surely they HAVE to talk to each other about their feelings, right? Even if they felt okay by the time they agreed to a reunion, there must be layers of just raw emotion to get through. Gerard seemed to genuinely believe he didn’t have a choice and heard a voice telling him *something* that made him decide to quit the band, Frank said he felt like he’d been stabbed but tbh I think it’s easier to recover from a physical wound than being dropped by a friend, losing a job and a dream ending all at the same time, Mikey was going through so much, and Ray posted a lighthearted response to the breakup then went off the grid for the most part. They had their alleged family bbqs and supported each other’s solo work but there’s so much history that no one else knows or understands. They basically shared a life and an identity for more than a decade then it ended unexpectedly and that was it. Even their lyrics. They (you know who) had each other listening to songs saying “fuck you I don’t care” “fuck you I’ll always care” but never let anyone on the outside know what actually went on. Frank does wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s going to say what he thinks or show people through music, and he was hurt-hurt for a very long time, so a little part of me wonders if they ever even found out what Gerard’s thought process was and if they thought it was a valid reason to leave it unfinished. After letting him direct them, put them in costumes and make it so much bigger than anything else anyone in their class was doing so he didn’t get bored, he still dipped and found a new band to preform new songs in a suit, which was what he had been scared of doing when he decided to scrap CW and push for DD. It’s just. It’s the messiest way to end a relationship and it’s almost uncomfortably personal, we know way more than we should but also we don’t know anything? Then the (unconfirmed!) rumours that they’d even consider reuniting without Frank because they felt he wasn’t over it yet and wouldn’t want to even if they asked? I am terrified of the possibility that one of them will write a book eventually and we’ll find out that they actually, not only didn’t speak for a long time, but didn’t like each other for a long time. It’s very possible that’s the truth, I’d just rather pretend it wasn’t lol

yes to all of this like. its just wow. "fuck you i don't care" vs "fuck you i'll always care" is really what it boils down to isnt it...and yea like thats what drives me crazy is that we DO know way more than we should cause these bitches messy but there are still so many gaps?? like so many unknowns.

im certain that the rumor that they tried to do the reunion without frank is made up though bc i asked my friend about it who has a friend very close to the band (won't say who) and they told her that that was a lie and made no sense cause frank was the one always pushing for a reunion when they'd get together.

unlike you, i DO want that frank tell-all. ive been gagging for it for years and gerard always said frank would probably write a book about the band one day. i think it probably is the truth that they were not speaking for a while. i mean you read the lyrics they were writing. but it's fine bc they are best friends again they said so :)

[littleboy-logan]

Secrets Secrets are No Fun (1)

me: im gonna post this tomorrow

me three days later: oops

anyway, have this fanfic ive held onto for fifty years :3 its agere obviously so if you spotted this in the main tags and it makes you uncomfy then block the agere tag and the agere sides/agere sanders sides tags!

Summary: Logan lives an exceptionally ordinary life. He goes to work every morning, he pays his bills, he's a productive member of society. Just like anyone else, however, he has his secrets. He has his hobbies. If anyone found out what happens behind closed doors, they wouldn't look at him the same way again.

Characters: Logan, Remus, Roman (mentioned), Virgil (mentioned)

Pairing(s): future intrulogical & future platonic anxceit (this will be the only warning just cos, but once these ships actually come into play ill put them in the intro again)

Warnings: implied alcohol use (brief), implied toxic parents (brief), and i think thats it but lemme know if i missed anything!

Word count: 1,136

~

Logan had been lost in the woods for several days and he was growing tired. He had run away from his parents after they started drinking their secret juice that he wasn't allowed to have. Now he was starving and cold and afraid, but at least his parents couldn't yell at him.

His stomach growled especially loudly and he collapsed to the forest floor. He was sure he would die out here. He had run so far. He had no idea how deep these woods got.

Everything around him became blurry, but just before he fell unconscious, he saw someone in a black uniform approach him and call out to someone else.

***

"Sanders, do you have that paperwork done yet?" Logan's boss asked as he approached his cubicle.

"Have it right here, sir," Logan replied as he finished up the last bit of it. He handed it to his boss.

"Good work. Remember, I need that quarterly report by Monday morning."

"Of course, sir. I'm just about done with it."

"Knew I could count on you," his boss said with a grin as he headed back to his office.

Logan silently sighed as he opened up his report on his computer and began typing. His job was tedious, yes, but he could handle tedious. It's not like he had much of a choice anyway if he wanted to make a living.

The day ended soon enough, and Logan packed up his belongings and headed to the bus stop. When it arrived, he climbed aboard and had a seat near the front.

He could feel his brain going fuzzy but forced the feeling away.

The bus reached his side of town and he got off and walked toward his house. Finally, he was home, and he walked through the front door and hung his coat on the rack.

He went up to his room and set his briefcase on his desk. He had a seat in his desk chair and opened up his laptop where his draft for his report stared him in the face.

He was almost done. He could do this.

He began typing, finding that the more he wrote, the more fuzzy his brain got. He fought it off, not having time to indulge himself just yet. He had to keep working.

It wasn't long before he struggled to even read what he was writing.

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the screen once again. The words were all jumbled and impossible to read. He couldn't possibly work like this.

He glanced in the direction of the box beneath his bed.

No, maybe he could still work. He just needed to snap out of it. He stared at his keyboard and found each individual letter and sounded them out as he typed. After a few minutes he looked at what he'd typed. It was incoherent garbage.

He threw his head back and groaned loudly. He really had no choice. He did know it was rather unhealthy to put it off for too long anyway.

He looked towards the box beneath his bed again.

He closed his laptop and went to his bed. He knelt beside it and pulled his box out from under it. Inside there was a sippy cup, colouring book, crayons, and a onesie. Not a lot, but enough for now.

He heard his roommate come home and his heart leapt into his throat. He shoved the box back under the bed and got to his feet. He wouldn't be caught dead with his age regressor gear, especially by Remus.

It sounded like he wasn't coming in, thankfully. He had a tendency to barge in without warning, which Logan had scolded him for in the past. He was lucky Remus hadn't found out about his age regression.

Logan's stomach growled, which not only brought back unfortunate memories, but made him that much closer to a fully regressed headspace. If he was being completely honest, he would rather fight back the memories than his regression.

He went to the kitchen, making sure he was still grown up. Remus was eating some ramen with cheese, a common dish for him. Logan wanted something simpler, something that would help him regress. Though, of course, he would have to remain vigilant around Remus.

"Heya, Lo!" Remus greeted, slurping up some noodles. "How's the wife?"

"I'm not married," Logan pointed out confusedly. "And I'm also gay."

"You're married to your job."

"Well... who's to say my job isn't nonbinary?"

Remus nodded. "Touché."

Logan went to find something to eat, but there wasn't much. He settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Crusts cut off, of course.

He got the peanut butter down from the cabinet, his Crofters out of the fridge, and the bread from the bread box. The more he made his sandwich, the smaller he felt. He didn't know if it was the smell of the food or the fact that he was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but he knew he had to be careful.

He finished cutting off the crusts, struggling to do so, and sat at the table across from Remus. He tried not to kick his feet, but the temptation to move was strong.

"Did you cut off the crusts?" Remus asked, a slightly incredulous tone to his voice.

Logan froze. "Yeah," he murmured, trying to sound older than he felt.

"The crusts are the best part, though."

Logan frowned and shook his head. "No, the jelly is."

"Says the Crofters junkie," Remus teased.

Logan continued eating, hoping he wasn't too obvious. Perhaps he was taking too big of a risk being around Remus this close to being regressed. Thankfully, he was almost done with his sandwich and then he could leave.

"Oh, hey, Roman invited us and Virgil over to his house this weekend. Which- y'know, tomorrow. You gonna be able to go?"

Logan forced back a smile at the thought of being around Remus's brother. Whenever he was regressed he craved the company of the more fanciful twin, with his flowery language and Disney references and singing.

"Uh, yeah, I can do that. What'll we be doing?"

"Probably dinner and a Disney marathon. Typical Roman."

Logan swallowed the last bite of his sandwich and excused himself, glad he could finally go to his room. He locked the door and got his box back out from under his bed.

He went to the neighbouring bathroom and filled his sippy cup with water and then got changed into his unicorn onesie. He then began colouring in one of his colouring books. He laid in the floor on his stomach with his feet kicking in the air.

Life was more carefree like this. If only anyone could understand.