#ive broken down so many times over this
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ra-vio · 7 months ago
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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babyboybuckley · 2 years ago
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Ok I would like to say something but it's a bit heavy so I'm gonna say it in the tags
#alrighty... this time last year i was rapidly approaching my lowest point#i had a broken down car my housemate was pulling away from me as her mental health stabilised and i truly wanted to die#i remember stealing razorblades from our carton cutters at work because somehow the shame of that was less than the shame of buying them#and i was using them to hurt myself#but as of tomorrow i will be 1 year self harm free#and i have so many people to thank for that#my friend who answered the phone and let me come and sit on his couch#when i was crying and knew that if i went home to an empty house on june 16th i was going to try and kill myself#but i reached out and was able to surround myself with love#he called another friend in between me calling and me arriving#so i would have more people around me#the friends who let me come over whenever even though they have such busy lives and are not necessarily social creatures#but they make sure i know i have a space on their couch or their guest room#its taken me a long long time#but i havent truly wanted to die in about 8 months#and thats a record#its been the hardest thing ive ever done#and i have fallen so often but the people around me pick me up#and now i am finally learning to live for me#finding joy in the small and the big things#celebrating whenever i can#i have a long way to go#but i genuinely feel like i can make the journey now#healing isnt linear but i feel like im looking back at the mountain ive climbed#and realising how steep it truly was#and no matter how treacherous the path ahead#the view from the lookouts will always be worth it#about me#my stuff#personal
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allbeendonebefore · 2 years ago
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i did it
the books have been put away
i still need to bring three boxes of them downstairs but the rest are either on the shelves or in the stack of boxes for my dads books (if you thought me sorting the books in vic was a nightmare he Still has 12 more boxes of them here, 10 of which I already put in LOC order two years ago)
im having my tea break and then im going to sort out supper but omg. the last time these books were in order was 2005 and we have technically moved 2-3 times since then, and they hadn’t been in order for almost two decades. holy shit.
what to do with them now that they are in small manageable categories is still beyond me but you know, they are there to be retrieved should anyone need them. The rest are upstairs and already visible even though they are uncatalogued, so that’s nice!
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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Thinks abt oni pmd au oh so hard. When you get a second chance at a relationship only to re experience drifting apart from them all over again
#rat rambles#oni posting#idk how much Ive actually explained abt jackie and olivia's plot but it is generally pretty simple#I think Ive said that theyre searching for these power cell sorta things to try to restore the machine they first woke up next to#but idk if I actually ever explained how the cells work? well I mean I only like 10% know myself but I have a vague idea#basically theyre kind of similar to the temporal bow in concept and they operate on manipulating spacetime and such#but theyre a lot more based on the concept of alternate universes as opposed to times bow#basically making power from an individual pokemon over theoretically infinite universes#even though theoretically this could be achieved fairly safely with any pokemon it was highly theoretical stuff and also relied on the#assumption that the amount of applicable universes to draw from would be infinite for every individual#so all existing cells were tied to some of the gravitas guild's strongest pokemon who could theoretically handle the process#this worked mostly flawlessly except for the fact that the host's intent and concent ended up being more capable of influence than expected#now this did have some pros as it meant that facilities powered by theae cells could be built in a way that would allow the host full#access to many functonalities of the facility and allow them to keep close tabs on everything#but the downside was ofc that this could also be used to sabotage the conpany if the host so chose#the og jackie and olivia found a way around this issue somewhat by basically building the cells so that some of their innards could to an#extent overlap allowing the hosts to have some level of access to each other's cells#this functionality was not built between all of the cells but they were all built to be compatible with olivia and jackie's#this is in fact the only reason current jackie and olivia are able to track down the other cells in the first place#the one they found still in the machine was olivia's and due to its untable nature its constantly trying to expand into the other cells but#cant reach them#due to olivia being able to be connected to it just as much as any pokemon olivia shes able to feel this pull when she holds the cell#now most of the other cells are hidden in neutronium crusted abandoned gravitas facilities and cities so the two dont end up spending that#much time interacting with pokemon society and as such don't catch wind of the gravitas guilds existence until far far later on#what they do encounter though are the echoes of the pokemon who hosted each cell as they collect them#again olivia's cell is very unstable and is constantly trying to reach out for the other cells so when the two get close enough its able to#start pulling at the other cells enough to allow for said exhoes to physically manifest to varrying degrees#most of them end up being basically boss fights with a few of them just being scared or too gone to care#for the first few jackie and olivia assumed they were some strange security system given the broken down technology around them#but eventually it becomes all to clear that Something happened. and the two of them end up struggling to agree just what that something was
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alienated-idiot · 2 years ago
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Dudes everything is not ok
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narumi-gens · 10 months ago
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boundaries gojo satoru x f!reader
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post-breakup!gojo who can't quite follow through on the breaking up. he's as present in your life after he ended things as he was when you were still dating.
he still blows up your phone at all hours with nothing important. he insists on holding your hand when you walk side-by-side. he still uses your apartment key, which you never had the heart to ask for him to return. you've ended up in more than one heated makeout session with him, although you have managed to keep them from progressing past him feeling up your tits over your bra.
and when you end up in the hospital after a mission, he shows up before even shoko can get there. you sigh when his towering form appears in the doorway of the room you've been given.
"looks worse than it is," you say and despite the way you slur your words due to the painkillers, it's true.
your concussion, while serious, isn't something that wouldn't heal on its own. your broken ribs managed to avoid puncturing any organs. even the burst blood vessel in your left eye that's colored the white of your eye a ghastly red is only really a surface-level injury.
but for once, the man who never shuts up stays silent as he pulls a chair close and sits at your bedside. he reaches for your hand but pauses when you wince at the pressure on the two fingers that are fractured and wrapped in a splint. instead, he settles for loosely holding onto your wrist.
"shoko's gonna fix it all anyways," you tell him through a yawn, your eyelids feeling heavy. "'sides, you shouldn't even be here. boundaries, satoru. 'member?"
it's a word that you've tossed in his face so many times since the breakup that it's lost all meaning. and it doesn't help that you've never managed to say it with any sort of real weight. instead, it usually comes out on the end of a resigned sigh.
you can feel his gaze on you even through his dumb sunglasses. normally, even post-breakup, you would reach out and pull them down his nose to meet those cursed eyes of his and make some joke. but with your brain working at a diminished capacity and your arm hooked up to an IV full of the best painkillers japan's doctors have to offer, all you can do is slowly blink at him in return.
"it's always boundaries this, boundaries that with you," he finally retorts with a shake of his head, but offers nothing else.
"'f you didn't want boundaries then you shouldn't've ended things, y'big dummy," you mumble, and no longer able to keep your eyes open, you finally let them close.
"I told you. I don't have room in my life for anyone else – i.e., you," he replies bluntly and you can feel the fit of giggles that you want to burst into, but all you can manage is a soft huff of laughter.
"liar," you say with a sleepy smile stretching across your lips. "can't even be honest when I'm strung out on painkillers. psh. lame."
it takes monumental effort, but you manage to crack open an eye so that you can see him sporting his own cheeky grin.
silence settles over you both and you feel yourself slowly beginning to fall into the blackness as your breathing slows. the soothing sensation of gojo's thumb rubbing circles on the skin of your wrist only aids in pushing you closer and closer to sleep.
"you were considered a suitable match." even on the edge of consciousness, the disgust in his tone at those two words reaches you. "I couldn't let them get what they wanted."
you let out a quiet hum in acknowledgment and wish you had enough strength to open your eyes, curious to see if he's surprised you weren't fully asleep yet.
"still letting 'em control you, hm? s'good we broke up. want someone who's only tied down by me," you mumble.
"baby, if you want to tie me down, all you had to do was say so," he jokingly responds, unsurprisingly choosing to sidestep the gravity of your words, no matter how slurred they were.
"boundaries, 'toru..." you trail off as you finally succumb to sleep.
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 months ago
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Tourist trap (Stan Pines x fem!reader)
minors dni
Stan is very fond of tourists who believe his stories.
tags: nsfw, smut, p in v, fingering, riding, desk sex, semi-public, praise, sir kink, rough sex
You shifted nervously from one foot to the other, wide-eyed and excited, as you clutched your little Mystery Shack brochure in your hand. It was all crumpled from being folded and unfolded too many times, but you couldn’t stop reading all the incredible things advertised on it.
"See the world-famous Sasquatch Skull up close! Touch the Alien Artifacts nobody else believes in!" 
You believed it all. Every last word. After all, you’re such a lover of the unknown.
Your group of tourists shuffles around you, mostly adults who looks really unimpressed, grumbling about the entrance fee. You’re the only one whose eyes are wide with excitement and who literally trembles from excitement to see everything the Shack have to offer. And that’s exactly what catches his eye.
Stan Pines stands in the doorway, leaning on his cane, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. You don’t notice how his eyes scans over you, how he takes in every little detail: the innocent excitement, the way you’re practically throwing your money at the gift shop already and that naive, gullible glow about you. You practically skip forward, not noticing how Stan’s eyes linger on you. He can tell right away — you aren’t just any tourist. No, you’re special. Too trustful. Sweet. The kind that believe every ridiculous thing he’d ever put on display.
And isn’t that just. . . adorable?
The tour starts and you trail behind him eagerly, eyes wide and shining as he tells stories about the various "creatures" and "relics" in the Shack. Part of you is convinced that every word is true, that you’re standing in the presence of real magic, real mystery. 
Stan notices you hanging on his every word and it makes something stir in him. The way your lips parts just a little, these little “wow” and “ohh” you make, the way your eyes follow his every move. Meanwhile other tourists roll their eyes or sigh, bored out of their minds, but not you. You’re his favorite kind of visitor — the kind that made his job fun
"So," Stan starts, turning to you with a glint in his eye as the rest of the group wanders off, "what do you think of this, doll? Pretty impressive, huh?"
You nod enthusiastically, clutching your bag of over-priced trinkets and souvenirs. "It’s amazing, sir! i can’t believe im seeing all this in real life! i mean, is the Sasquatch skull really real? And the alien artifacts, are they, like, actually from space?!"
"Well, aren’t you just the cutest little tourist I’ve ever seen,” he smiles, leaning slightly towards you and letting out a chuckle “most people come in here and they laugh it off. Say it’s all fake, but not you. You really believe in this, don’t you?”
“Yeah! ive always dreamed of visiting such a cool place! thank you, sir, it’ll remain a good memory,” you giggle.
“Ohh, sweetheart, if you’re such a fan, maybe i can show you some of the mysteries we keep hidden from the average tourists.” he absolutely loves how wide-eyed and trusting you are. You really believe every word he tells you?
Your eyes light up, completely oblivious to the hungry look in his eyes. "Really? You’d do that?"
Stan rubs his chin, pretending to think it over, though the grin never left his face. “Hmm,” he looks at you for a couple more seconds before he tells you you. “for you, dear? Anything.”
He leads you away from the main part of the Shack, down a hallway lined with dusty old portraits and broken light fixtures. You don’t even notice how quiet it is now as the rest of the tour group far behind. All you can think about was the excitement bubbling inside you, the thrill of seeing something “exclusive.”
Stan opens a creaky door at the end of the hall and motions for you to step inside. You eagerly obey, stepping into a dimly lit room filled with more strange objects, things that weren’t part of the normal tour. At least, that’s what Stan told you.
He closes the door behind him with a soft click, the two of you now alone and you never really noticed how close he suddenly got, his hand resting on your lower back as he guides you further into the room, its cluttered with strange artifacts, most of which hadn’t made it to the main display.
You’re buzzing with excitement as you look around at the dusty shelves. "Wow!" you gasped, wide-eyed. “What’s that? and that?! oh my gosh, is that a real shrunken head?!”
Stan chuckles, settling himself down in an old chair near desk before patting his lap. “Why don’t you come here, doll? I’ll give you a closer look.” there was something in his voice. . . something that should alert you, but you’re too caught up in your excitement to notice it.
Without a second thought, you plop yourself down on his lap, leaning forward to inspect the nearest artifact, still firing off a barrage of questions. "What’s this one? and where did you get it? oh god, is it really cursed?!"
Stan grunts, adjusting you a bit closer as his hands settled on your hips. He leans forward slightly, his mouth near your ear as he begins to explain some ridiculous story about the origins of the objects. But you barely notice how his fingers start to slip lower, just lightly brushing along the hem of your skirt.
You keep talking, completely oblivious, your words spilling out in an excited rush. “This is so cool! i can’t believe no one else gets to see this! i-“ your voice hitches as Stan’s hand slides further up your thigh, his thick fingers grazing the edge of your panties.
He continues talking as if nothing happens. “This here is an ancient artifact from South America. Supposedly cursed, but, eh, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” he pauses, his hand gently pressing against the softness of your thigh as he keeps you pinned on his lap.
Your breath caught in your throat, but you tried to focus on his words, nodding as you squirmed a little. “W-wow, that’s- that’s so cool!” your voice breathy as Stan’s fingers brushes lightly along the edge of your panties, teasing you.
“Yeah, real cool, huh?” he asks you, still as if nothing happened, his other hand sliding up your waist to grip your side, so you wouldn’t move that much. His fingers dip lower, grazing the fabric of your panties before slipping just beneath it. “aaand this one here,” he continues, “it’s said to have belonged to an ancient tribe. Powerful stuff.”
You can barely process what he’s saying, your mind blank as his fingers lightly tease along your slit, collecting the wetness that was beginning to pool there. You shift in his lap, trying to stifle the soft whimper that escape your lips, your legs pressing together.
“Something wrong, doll?” he asks in a playful, no, mocking tone, while his fingers now lightly caressing your clit. “You seem a little distracted. Thought you wanted to hear about all these mysteries*.”
“I- I do!” you stutter. “It’s just- s-sir!”
“Just what?” Stan interrupts, his fingers now slipping lower, pressing firmly against your entrance. His other hand grips your waist, holding you firmly in place as you instinctively try to buck your hips against his hand.
You whine softly, barely able to form a coherent sentence. "I-I just. . . oh god-“
Stan smirks. “You’re so cute, sweetheart,” he nuzzles your neck, his fingers now teasing your entrance, pushing just the tip of one finger inside your throbbing cunt. “asking all these questions while sitting in my lap like a good little girl.”
You sob, your hips rocking against his hand without even realizing it. You can feel his cock, hard and pulsing beneath you, pressing against your ass, but Stan keeps his focus on you, his fingers slowly pumping in and out of your wetness, never stopping his stories.
“This one is said to have special. . . powers. Like it can make someone go crazy with just one touch.” he chuckles, his finger curling inside you, hitting that spot that made you gasp and clench around him.
Your head spinning, your body aching with need, completely at his mercy as he tease and play with you, all while still pretending like it was just another tour.
Stan’s smirk widens as he feels you trembling in his lap, the way you quietly moan, your face and body both hot. He keeps his voice steady, still saying some ridiculous story about the artifacts, but his fingers never stops their teasing.
“So, this piece here was said to be used in rituals. Uhh, something about unlocking a person’s deepest desires, makin’ ’em lose all sense of control.” its not difficult for him to imagine these false stories, he is an experienced lier after all. You try to listen, try to understand what he’s saying, but that’s just impossible to do as he presses his thumb harder against your needy bud, his fingers sliding through your slick folds. You whimper, barely able to focus on his words. Your body burning, every nerve ending tingling as his rough fingers stroke and tease your throbbing pussy. Your hips rock against his hand, desperate for more, but you’re too shy, too embarrassed to ask for it.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? you were askin’ so many questions before, now you’re all quiet?” his thumb circles your clit a little bit faster and your body jolts from pleasure, a soft cry escaping your lips before you could stop it.
“I’m just-“ you stammer, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you squirm in his lap. “I c-can’t, sir, can’t think”
He chuckles, now pushing two thick fingers deep inside your tight, clenching cunt. You gasp and your back arch against him as he starts to pump them slowly, curling and scissoring his fingers just right, hitting that spot inside you that made your whole body tremble. What a lovely sounds you’re making.
“Aww you poor thing, so lost, huh? cant even think straight, can ya?”
You whimper, biting your lip as you try to stifle the noises that are spilling out of you, but it’s useless. Your hips are moving on their own, grinding against his hand as you clung to his shirt, “sir” and “please” leaving your mouth as his fingers stretch you so well.
“Just relax, doll, I’ll take care of you. Just listen to me.” his fingers pumped harder inside your pulsing pussy. “you wanted a tour, right?”
You nodded weakly, not even listening him, unable to focus on anything but the way his fingers were fucking into you, the wet sounds of your dripping pussy filling the small room. His thick digits stretch you open just good, making you lose your mind.
“So this here,” he continued, his voice still calm despite the way you were practically writhing in his lap, “was used by an ancient tribe. Supposedly, they thought it could help them communicate with the gods, but I think it’s more useful for somethin’ else. . . don’t you, sweetheart?”
You could only sob in response, your body trembling as his fingers drove deeper, stretching your tight walls, his thumb never leaving your poor sensitive clit, your muscles clenching around his fingers as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.
“You’re such a good girl,” he praises as he watches you squirm in his lap, your wetness coating his fingers. “so cute, all worked up like this. You gonna cum for me, doll?” you nod , your hips bucking against his hand, his fingers thrusting deeper inside your aching cunt. Stan laughs at that pathetic sight, his fingers moving faster now, fucking you hard and deep, your pussy clenching around his digits. “Go on, princess, cum on my fingers.” you exhale when Stan finally let you finish. With a strangled cry, your body shakes, your cunt clenching around his fingers as your orgasm crashes over you. Your eyes rolled and brain fucking melted as you shudder in his lap.
Stan grinned, watching you with a satisfied smirk. “Good girl, such a good little doll for me.”
His hand rests on your breast, first slowly and gently caressing it. His fingers find your nipple and give it a light squeeze, drawing another sound from you. Stan smirks to himself as he feels you shaking in his lap, your body responding to every little touch he gave you. His fingers still buried deep inside you, moving at a slow, teasing pace that had you on edge, desperate for more. You can barely sit still, squirming against him, your breath coming out in soft, shallow gasps.
His fingers curling inside you again, and you whimper, your hips jerking in response. “You want somethin’, don’t you? you gotta tell me what you need, doll.”
Your mind foggy, every nerve in your body on fire as his fingers keep working you over, drawing soft, desperate noises from your parted lips. You could barely think straight, let alone put together a proper sentence. “pl-please, sir”
He chuckles, clearly enjoying your struggle. “Please what, sweetheart? you gotta use your words if you want somethin’ from me.”
You bite your lip, trying to keep yourself together, but it’s damn impossible with the way his big fingers thrusting inside you, hitting that perfect spot over and over again. You can feel the heat building inside you again, that desperate, aching need, but of something bigger than just his fingers. You need to be filled, to have your brains fucked out. “I need more. . .”
“More, baby? you want my fingers to go faster? is that what you mean?”
You shake your head frantically, your whole body aching for something else. “No, I need- need your cock, sir-“
He raise his eyebrows in a fake surprise. “Oh, is that what you’ve been tryin’ to say this whole time? you’re beggin’ for it now, huh? pretty little thing, all desperate for me to fuck you?”
You whimper softly, your hips moving on their own, trying to push down on his hand for more friction, more pressure, but he holds you still, keeping you right where he wanted you. “Please, sir,” you whisper and nearly cry because of horrible emptiness you’re feeling. “please just fuck me, sir, i need you!”
“You’re lucky I’m feelin’ generous today, sweetheart,” he tells you, his hand finally pulling away from your dripping slit. “don’t say i never gave you nothin’.”
Before you can even process whats happening, Stan shifts you in his lap, his strong hands lifting your hips and positioning you right above his length. You can feel his cock, already hard and throbbing beneath you, pressing up against your soaked entrance, and your whole body tense, your breath catching in your throat.
Stan’s hands grip your hips tightly, holding you steady as he lines himself up with your glistening cunt, spreading your folds. “You ready for it, doll?” he asks. “this what you’ve been beggin’ for?”
You nod quickly, fuck enough of questions, you thought. “Yes,” you whisper. “yes yes yes, ple-“ but before you can even finish, he slowly pushes inside you, stretching you open inch by inch. You immediately gasp at the new sensation, your hands gripping onto his shoulders as your body adjusts to the sudden fullness. Oh god, it’s thick, so hard, filling you completely and you can feel every inch of him throbbing inside you, every vein, it feels so hot.
Stan huffs out, his grip on your hips tightening as he buries himself to the hilt. “Fuck, you’re tight. like you were made for this, doll.”
You whimper softly, holding on him, your body trembling as you try to adjust to the feeling of him inside you. It’s almost too much, the way he stretches you so perfectly, the way he fills you completely. You can barely breathe.
Stan gives you a moment to adjust. his cock pulsing inside you. “There we go,” he mutters watching your brows furrowing. “Just like that. . . you’re doin’ so good, babygirl.”
You moan again, your hips shifting slightly in his lap, and you feel him twitch inside you,. “I. . . nhhah, s-sir”
He leans towards you and kisses your forehead, his hands guiding your hips to start moving, slowly at first. “Go on, princess. Ride me, let me see how bad you want it.”
You bite your lip nervously as you’ve never been in this pose before, you slowly start to move, lifting yourself up and then sinking back down onto his cock. It feels incredible, the way his cock stretches you open, hitting all sweet spots inside you. You feel the tension building inside you again, that same desperate, aching need, and you whimper again and again, your hips moving faster as your cunt tightening around him.
Stan’s eyes locks with yours as he guides your movements, kissing your neck. “That’s it, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin’ good, yesss, such a good girl, ridin’ me like that.”
You cry out at his words, what a sweet praise, your body moving on its own now, your hips grinding down against him, taking him deeper with each thrust. You can barely think, barely breathe, the pleasure overwhelming your senses, your mind clouded, you can’t even maintain the eye contact.
Stan’s hands moves to your waist, holding you steady as he starts thrusting up into you, meeting your movements with deep, powerful thrusts. You whine, your hands gripping onto his shoulders for support as he fucks you, your mouth hangs open while he fucks you faster and harder with each thrust, he holds you so tightly, squeezing your body while you ride him.
You gasp. “I- I’m gonna-“
“Go ahead, doll, cum for me, let me feel it.”
Your body tensed, your walls clenching around his cock as your orgasm hits you hard. Your body shaking, trembling in his lap as you cumming, rambling pleas leave your mouth when you feel the tip of his cock rubbing sweetly against your cervix. Stan groans, his grip on your waist tightening as he thrusts up into you harder, deeper, drawing out your pleasure as long as he can. “That’s it, such a good girl, baby. . . so fuckin’ tight.”
You fall on his chest, still shaking, your mind still spinning from the intensity of it all. You can feel him still throbbing inside you, still hard, and you whimper softly, your hips shifting slightly in his lap, he’s clearly not planning on pulling out.
After you manage to get your breathing back to normal at least a little you feel his hands still all over you, roughly dragging you up and laying you out on the old wooden table. Your legs tremble, spread wide as he stares down at you, taking in the sight like you’re his prize, his fucking reward.
“Not yet, sweetheart,” grin crosses his lips as he grabs your thighs, pulling you right to the edge of the table before slamming his cock back inside your pussy, forcing a cry from your throat. Your body jolts at the sudden penetration, and you moan again, legs wrapping around his waist as he starts pounding into you again. Hard. Rough. Fast. There’s not a drop of mercy in his movements, he's not holding back, fucking you like you're just a thing for him to use. Your sweet moans and that pathetic "sl-slow down!" sound like music to his ears.
His hands all over you, squeezing, groping, touching. He grabs your breasts, kneading them, pinching your nipples through your shirt so hard you whimper, arching your back off the table. He groans at that, leaning in close, his breath hot against your neck as he whispers, “Fuck, you feel heavenly, baby, can’t get enough of this sweet little cunt.”
His fingers finds your clit, rubbing circles around it, teasing you until you can’t stop the pathetic whines spilling from your lips. He keeps fucking you harder, his hips slamming against yours, the table creaking under the weight of it all. The sound of skin against skin fills the room, mixed with your gasps, your moans, your begs and his grunts as he’s pounding into you like he was starving for it.
“Look at you,” he looks down at your flushed, wrecked body, his hands gripping your waist tight enough to bruise. “Such a fucking good girl for me, huh? letting me use this pretty little pussy however I want.”
You can’t really form words, can’t do anything but take it. Your so brain fucked, body burning, you’re so close you can’t think straight. He’s rough, fast, his fingers rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts, pushing you higher, higher, until you can’t hold back anymore. You cum hard, again, your pussy squeezing his cock well.
But Stan doesn’t stop. He just keeps going, fucking you right through it, ruining your pussy, even harder now, his hips snaps into you, faster, rougher, and you can feel the slick mess between your thighs, the obscene sound of it only making it filthier. You're choking on your moans.
“Ugh, gonna cum inside you, doll,” he groans. “Gonna fill this sweet pussy up, you want that? you want me to fucking fill you up?”
You nod frantically, too far gone to care about anything else, and with one last, hard thrust, he buries himself so deep, his cock pulsing as he finishes inside you. You feel how warm it is, his cum filling you up, spilling out of you as he keeps thrusting, riding out his high.
Finally, he slows down, pulling out with a groan, and you collapse back on the table, spent, utterly wrecked. Youre literally shaking, panting, his cum dripping out of your used pussy onto the wood below. Stan stands there, catching his breath, looking down at you and all that dirty mess, what a beautiful sight: your legs trembling, your body marked with his touch and his cum leaking from between your thighs.
He leans over. “you know, guess I'll give you a discount for that pretty face of yours.”
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taylorman2274 · 7 months ago
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We Care About You (Part IV)
Your attempts to cater to their needs only leave them confused and concerned. However, just when you think of giving up, more barriers are broken.
Content Warning(s): Xiao Story Quest Spoilers; Liyue Archon Quest Act IV Spoilers
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Previous || Next
Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3; @jellyedkazoo; @namine123; @innuwu; @agaygothicmushroom;
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When Genshin finally finished loading, you found your player character back where you originally left them before you were forced unconscious; in the bustling streets of Chihu Rock. The first thing you noticed was the red exclamation marks over the Paimon Menu, Events Menu, and Battle Pass Menu. However, you saw these exclamation marks nearly every time you logged on to Genshin, so you weren't surprised.
What does surprise you is that so far, everything appears to be... normal.
The Traveler was currently doing one of their idle animations, the NPCs were all in their familiar spots, and the leaves were subtly floating to the ground...
You began to grow suspicious.
You moved the Traveler one step to the left, cutting off their idle animation. They moved as you expected. Then you moved them right. Then up. Then down.
You looked at their face. They were staring back at you with lifeless eyes.
"But they're not lifeless..." you commented.
Next, you opened up the preceding menus. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Even Paimon was doing her usual shtick.
Finally, you turned the Traveler away from your gaze and had them walk a few steps forward. You had them perform their normal attack combo. No signs of restraint were noticeable.
"...I guess everything is as normal as possible," you noted. "I'll still do everything I promised myself I would do. I don't want to be deceived by false appearances."
You opened the party setup and began to remove everyone from your party aside from the Traveler. You had decided that since nobody specifically asked the Traveler to join them on their travels, you should only use the Traveler from now on. Sure, that may make things harder for you, but you were willing to take on the extra challenge if it meant that everybody was happy.
However, as much as you would prefer to avoid it, you knew that fighting enemies was inevitable. You were just going to need to be extra careful while fighting to make sure that the Traveler doesn't get hit.
"It's almost like I'm doing a no-hit challenge," you chuckled.
Lastly, you were going to take your time doing long quests such as Archon and Story quests. You figure that doing so many quests in a short amount of time would be tiring to the Traveler. Especially with how grueling some of them can be.
With that being said, you took the time to quickly organize the pages of notes on your side before setting off to the first commission of the day, conveniently in Liyue Harbor of all places.
...By walking, of course. Strictly walking while inside cities should be the norm from now on.
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The Traveler was nearly quivering in excitement.
The adrenaline rush that they got when they realized [Y/N] was back in Teyvat made them all hyper and focused. They were ready to do anything and everything with you. They wanted to sprint across the widest plains; climb atop the tallest mountains; and fight against the strongest enemies.
However, they have learned before that they need to be patient.
Over time, they have come to realize many patterns that you have while guiding them throughout Teyvat. One of these patterns was that you normally started working on the daily commissions first.
So they were a little surprised when the first thing you did was move them around, almost like you were testing to see if they would still follow your guidance.
"You don't have to worry about that, [Y/N]," they thought. "I'll always be here for you."
Not to worry though, [Y/N] went ahead and guided them to all the places where the commissions took place afterward. However, there were some things that they noticed while they were completing them.
The commissions involving the common folk and the time challenges went about the same way. It was the fighting commissions that had them asking questions.
What was the best way to describe it...? They still had no problem defeating the enemies, don't get them wrong, but they noticed that you seemed to be a little more... cautious?
Normally, [Y/N] would have them rush in and start swinging. Sure, this was reckless at times, and got themselves hit a couple of times, but that was honestly the fighting style that they were most accustomed to. However, this time they noticed that for whichever enemies they were fighting, they would focus on one at a time and balance an attack with a couple of dodges whenever their opponent attempted to strike back.
Furthermore, they also noticed that they were the only ones fighting. They know that [Y/N] is capable of guiding at most four people at once. So why were they only using them?
"Perhaps I can ask Paimon whenever [Y/N] leaves." they thought.
Not that they wanted you to leave, no no no. You had just come back to Teyvat after a whole week! They wanted to make up for lost time.
"If I counted right, that's all the commissions for today. Just got to visit Kathryne and then we can continue with our day. I wonder what we will get to do today. Are we gonna do some exploring? Fight amongst the ley lines? Meet up with old friends? I can't wait!"
They waited for their exchange with Kathryne to end so they could get back to your guidance. But suddenly, they began to feel themselves gaining control over their body.
...Wait.
... ... ...
Oh no...
...No...
No. No. No. No. NO! NO! NO! NO!
They know this feeling all too well. It was their least favorite part of the day.
...It was when you left Teyvat.
Just as their fears were confirmed, they gained control over their body again. Horrified, they quickly looked up at Celestia and prayed to the Archons that what was happening wasn't real.
Unfortunately, the light from Celestia came and went. [Y/N] was gone...
"Aww, already?" Paimon groaned, appearing out of thin air. "Paimon thought that [Y/N] would stay just a little bit longer."
The Traveler's eyes never left Celestia. They were holding on to the slim hope that the light returned. That [Y/N] would come right back and continue our adventures.
...But it never came.
"Hey, Traveler. Are you alright? You haven't moved in a while."
The Traveler finally took their eyes away from Celestia and sadly looked at Paimon. "I was so happy that [Y/N] came back. I was looking forward to spending all day with them. But in the end, they were only here for a few hours."
Paimon solemnly nodded. "Yeah, Paimon gets where you're coming from. But Paimon also says not to worry! It isn't often that [Y/N] leaves after completing the daily commissions. Maybe this is a one-time thing?"
The Traveler gave it some thought. They suppose that what Paimon is saying is true. There's no guarantee that this will happen again tomorrow.
Their mood picked up. "You're right, Paimon. Hopefully, we get to adventure with [Y/N] longer tomorrow."
Paimon smiled. "That's the spirit! Trust Paimon when she says that everything is going to be alright!"
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Time Skip
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...
... ...
... … …
...Three days...
It's been three days since [Y/N] first came back to Teyvat. They have since come back every day afterward.
...Three days...
It's been three days of completing commissions...
...And nothing else.
...Three days...
It's been three days since the Traveler realized that they were the only person [Y/N] used in their "adventure team".
They still remember how heartbroken Amber was when they met her.
"It wasn't something I did, was it?" she fretted with sorrowful eyes.
"Of course not!" they reassured, "You've done nothing wrong!"
However, they could tell that their words were not effective at uplifting the normally bright and cheerful outrider.
Now, [Y/N] was guiding them back to Kathryne again. Most likely the end of another day together.
... ... …
...No.
"I REFUSE!"
Going against [Y/N]'s guidance, they stopped in place. They were not going to let [Y/N] leave this time! They felt a couple of forceful nudges from [Y/N] but they were going to hold their ground for as long as it takes.
"No more commissions, [Y/N]. Let's go back to before. Explore Teyvat! Go fishing! Search for my sibling! Just don't leave again!"
...
... ...
... … …
...-hy?
..."Huh?"
"What di- ... -o wrong?"
"Is that...?" they wondered.
"I thought ... was doing ... -thing right?"
"[Y/N]?"
"I've done all the things that match their preferences. I've removed all the people who have jobs that prioritize their duties over adventuring; I've been careful while fighting enemies; I've even been spending as little time as possible to conserve their energy. So why are they still unhappy?
...So that's what has been the issue.
They wanted to tell you everything that was on their mind. But they couldn't bypass the restriction placed upon them.
This restriction in particular involved speaking freely towards [Y/N]. From what they understand, they are never able to say anything while being guided by [Y/N]. Instead, Paimon does most of the talking.
They still don't know much about it.
"...Maybe I'm not cut out for this after all. I should've known better..."
They didn't need to be told what that meant for the future.
After hearing that last sentence, they fought as hard as they could to break the speaking restriction, to tell [Y/N] something, anything, to stop them from leaving.
When they gained the slightest control over their body, they shouted: "[Y/N]! Wait! Don't leave!"
However, it didn't appear that they even heard them. Furthermore, they instantly felt a painful shock rush through their body. Punishment for breaking the rules.
The shock brought them to the ground, and they were in too much pain to notice the light from Celestia. And from what they had to guess, potentially for the last time.
"Traveler!" Paimon screamed, immediately floating down to nudge their body. "Quick! Get up! Get up! We've got to do something or else [Y/N] will be gone forever!"
Slowly but steadily, the Traveler brought themselves to their feet. They felt more defeated than ever. "It's too late, Paimon... I couldn't stop [Y/N] from leaving... It's all my fault."
Paimon was quick to shake her head. "Don't say that! You already know that we've never been able to talk with [Y/N] in the past."
"That still doesn't change the fact that [Y/N] is probably gone forever. They're never coming back."
Paimon frowned. She hadn't seen the Traveler like this since they met their sibling with Dainsleif. But as much as she wanted to cheer the Traveler up, she needed to find a way to reach [Y/N]. She quickly used all of her brain juice to come up with a solution.
"Paimon has an idea! Why don’t we ask Zhongli for help? He did assist us last time.”
The Traveler let out a weak, sad chuckle. “I doubt even Zhongli would know what to do in this scenario.”
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"I may know something we can do."
"Really?!" "You do?!" Both Paimon and the Traveler exclaimed respectively.
They really should stop doubting the capabilities of this man.
"I have no guarantee that this will work," explained Zhongli, "but I'm curious to see the results. I believe you two are familiar with the adepti art 'dream trawling'?"
"Mhm," Paimon nodded, "We were with Xiao when he had us perform it."
"I see. That will make things easier to understand," Zhongli remarked, closing his eyes. "If [Y/N] won't come to Teyvat anymore..."
His eyes opened, filled to the brim with determination. "We'll simply have to extend them an invitation."
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Author Side Notes: Sorry this took so long to get out. I was struggling with how I wanted to write this.
Additionally, I've felt like my writing is lacking with descriptors. I feel like I keep saying words like 'said', 'asked', and 'nodded' a lot, especially in the last chapter. I've gone back and edited as much of it as I could.
I want to do my best to write all of these characters so I feel pretty bad whenever I'm unable to properly describe a character's thoughts or emotions. Maybe it's something that I'll get better at as I continue writing.
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listofwhyyouloveher · 6 months ago
Note
Hiii
Can you do the gang with the reader who can sleep anywhere and everywhere as they pleased😴 (Sorry if my English is a bit broken😭🫶)
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Summary: The Outsider x Sleepy!Reader
Warnings: none Author's Note: gonna try and get thru a lot of requests today, ive got like 15 in my box
You were always tired. Many times you fell asleep in random places, always leaving the gang in awe of how you could sleep so well in such obscure places. Your boyfriend decided that you two needed to spend some time together, so imagine his reaction when you fell asleep!
PONYBOY CURTIS
He invited you over to study, but it really was just catching up over textbooks. It was a little past 3 and Pony was starting to get hungry, so he told you to wait while he grabbed you both a slice of cake. It was a minute before he came back, two plates in hand but he stopped dead when he saw you. You were slumped over the table, head resting on your arm, fast asleep. He laughed and you woke up with a start. 
“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you” he smiled at you, placing your cake next to you. You give him a hazy smile and gently nod.
“Sorry, what were we talking about?” You ask, yawning. He smiled and shook his head.
“Maybe we should just stop and go to bed” He led you to his room and piled blankets on top of you, letting you fall asleep in his arms.
JOHNNY CADE
 Johnny is also a victim of falling asleep in random places, but was never quiet at the same level as you. 
Today, he invited you to the lot for stargazing. You both sat in comfortable silence as you observed Tulsa’s night sky. Johnny turned to you, a smile on his face.
“Don't you think it's pretty?” And he immediately stopped. You were asleep, curled up tightly for warmth, the moon reflecting off your pretty skin. He sighed and smiled wider, wrapping an arm around you and scooting closer to sleep alongside you.
SODAPOP CURTIS
 Soda took you out to the local diner as your weekly date. He got up once to grab some milkshakes from the counter when the waiter engaged him in conversation. He tried to cut the conversation short and get back to you, but apparently he didn't do it fast enough. 
When he came back to your table you were asleep, your hair splayed out and your face down in your arms. He laughed and unbuttoned his flannel to put on top of you as a makeshift blanket. He sat there in his white work tee until you woke up.
STEVE RANDLE
Invited you to come to the DX for his shift and keep him company when a customer walked in. Steve left you alone to consult them and the urge to sleep took over. 
When he came back, you were nowhere to be seen. He looked for you frantically, and only until he checked the corner of the workspace did he find you.
You were passed out and curled up in the corner. He sighed out of relief and sat down next to you for a moment before laying his jacket on you as a blanket.
TWO-BIT MATHEWS 
You, him and his sister hung out often. You took her to dance classes, the park and other places. 
He expressed his interest in going to watch movies with his sister, so you went over to his house with a few DVDs in hand. 
The movie only barely started when he went up to get popcorn and returned to find you both asleep together. He laughed and sat down next to you, careful not to wake the both of you.
DARRY CURTIS
Finds your sleepiness a very good opportunity for someone to mess with you so he always warns you about it. He was in the kitchen with you making dinner when you dozed off next to the stove. 
Darry immediately woke you and started to lecture you about falling asleep near dangerous things but he turned away for one moment and you were asleep again!
He sighed, frustrated, before calming down and picking you up and carrying you to bed.
DALLAS WINSTON
He understands your sleepiness because he often gets really tired too. However, that doesn’t mean he doesnt tease you for it. He’d taken you to another one of Buck’s parties, but you were already tired from a long day, so when he sat you down to get another drink you found yourself drifting off. It didn’t matter how loud the music was or how loud the people were talking, you soon fell asleep.
Dallas came back with the drinks and gave you an unimpressed look. He sighed before placing down the drinks and picking you up. He quickly went up into his room and dumped you on the bed before going back down to the party.
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trulyumai · 5 months ago
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Looking Past the Fire
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Paring: Messmer x Reader
Synopsis: Between the shadow lands, laid Messmer. And between that? His darling wife.
Warnings: Talk of Death
A/N: Ive officially began the DLC and I am WASHED. Also this big nosed fella has been taking over my mind please send help. (I love it)
Enjoy!
For whom could ever love him as much as his wife once did? 
She would be there, to carry his heavy soul, kiss the bruised skin and wipe away the rotting blood. 
His wife was ever so patient; wiping at his dirtied frame carefully, cautiously. Like he was someone who deserved it, needed it. He got used to such loving touches, it was dangerous. His family scoffed behind his back- mumbled about his newfound weakness. But between his own blood was a wall of fire, and between that was her. 
In truth, he craved coming back home, to her, and her adoring frame and sappy expressions. 
He would always call out to her. 
“My love?” His voice was so soft, much more than one would ever guess a man like him would- could carry. 
A man of death and flame. 
“Over here, darling!” And he would see the back of her head, peeking up from the windowsill that laid just in front of their kitchen. 
She would always be in the flower filled garden, tending to each plant with care until her fingers were overtaken with blackened dirt.
She’d lift herself high then, peek over at him with blinking lashes. A serene expression always to be seen when gazing upon the red haired man. 
Messmer without thought would walk forth, to her, and her sun kissed cheeks. 
As if in a daze the man wouldn’t dare avert his eyes; for the goddess in front of him was enough to hold the attention of such a man of power. 
His head ducked under the wooden back door. His back would crack loudly almost every time, and sometimes a groan of protest would leave the pale man’s lips. 
And he would reachout, gently coaxing the woman to him once more, he wanted- needed to feel her soft skin against his rough and war torn body. 
She’d listen of course, and would press her frame to his without further delay. 
Messmer would allow his arms to wrap around her, with his nose digging into her neck to smell the sweet scent of sweat sticking to her damp skin. 
“Husband,” she giggled, hearing his sighs of contentment. 
“I’ve missed you, has the trip fared well?” 
The wind picked up, the giant yellowing trees swayed with the breeze and Messmer could no longer subdue his mind to the stress it was in mere moments ago. 
Right before he placed himself in his wife’s presence, the worries of the palace laid upon his shoulders. 
His command, his power, his reign- 
“Husband?” 
How would she react to the bodies littering the field, the broken families, the hierarchy?
Her fingertips grazed his cheek.
“Hm? Oh, yes, the trip was easy, my wife,” 
The knight picked a fallen leaf that had laid upon her hair carelessly. 
“I’ve established safe perimeters. None shall lay harm to the south for quite some time.” 
She smiled. 
“Of course you did, my strong Knight. For who could be more of a protector than you?”
Bile reached up to the man's throat, it burned his insides with spite and regret. 
His wife was ill informed, she hadn't heard of the burning castle walls- with its soldiers laying crumpled and burnt in his wake. 
In fact, he hadn’t been a knight for the order in many moons, his siege had taken over much of the shadowlands, in which he was close to winning.
For none could stand the fiery ambition held between his sword and gaze 
He was a protector yes, but only for her. 
Messmer let out a deep laugh, it was short and muffled by his lips. 
The knight leaned down and began to trail kisses down his wifes temple, to her jaw, then finally, her lips. 
With a tilt to the head their mouths met, he placed a pale hand on the back of her head, pushing her to meet his lips with more strength. 
Nipping lightly the girl's hands fisted upon his armor, lightly trying to push herself away from the man- most likely for air. 
He complied, and smiled as she let out a gasp for air with pink cheeks and lidded eyes. 
Taking his thumb he brushed it upon her chin, clearing up the saliva that had dribbled down. 
She leaned into his palm, and Messmer once more felt the bite of regret nip at the edges of his mind. 
“Are you staying the night?” Her voice, barely above the howling wind, brought him back. 
Messmer hummed, his hand found the back of her waist. 
“I have dinner going, i'll make your place at the table.”
He only nodded his head as she padded off, not taking his eyes off the darkened clouds approaching their vicinity. 
From the corner of his eye, Messmer eyed the rising smoke. 
The south let out a plethora of darkened fumes, the village there laid in smoldering, blackened ash. 
Of course the south laid safe and ill of enemies; for he had cleared its population down to nothing. 
The land may never return to its original state with its burnt hills and mountains.
“It's ready, my love!” 
Messmer turned back, meeting the gaze of his lover by the doorframe. 
Little drops of rain plopped onto his loosened hair, no longer did light shine through the gray skies, but muffled streams of sun. 
He turned his back to the village, the smoke and bodies. 
For a more important matter was at hand now; the happiness of his wife.
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exitpursuedbyavulcan · 5 months ago
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What is Broken IV (Aemond Targaryen x Pregnant Wife!Reader) FINALE
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The war, the "Dance of the Dragons," as they have come to call it, is over. And yet, you are not celebrating. You have just learned that your husband, Prince Aemond, spent the last months of the war with another woman in his bed. Not only that, but his mistress is pregnant. Just like you...
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N), side Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers
Warnings: traumatic childbirth, blood, semi-suicidal thoughts, Aemond is fantasizing about murder again, all the angst
Point of View: Limited third person omniscient
Author's Note: I don't understand why, but thanks so much for all the support I've gotten from this horribly angsty fic! This is my first go at angst so I really appreciate it. I'm gonna work on two happy-ish fic chapters before I get started on When It Breaks, but it's coming...
And a huge, enourmous thanks to @ewanmitchellcrumbs and @ripdragonbeans for being my betas for this! I was so anxious about getting this absolutely right and they were so kind and encouraging. Love yall forever 💜💜💜
Taglist is done via reblogs
Series Masterlist
What is Broken
She was so light, his ābrazȳrītsos.
Even while carrying their children – their sons – Aemond swore she was lighter than when he left. He held her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder and her legs draped over his forearm. With every step, he could feel more of the liquid that had spilled from her womb - now mixed with small, hateful tendrils of blood -  dampening his sleeve.
Gods, how much blood had he seen in the past year? How much had he spilled himself? There had even been times when he reveled in its metallic tang. But the sight of her blood was nothing less than abhorrent.
He ran faster, until he could not make out the faces of those he passed, shouting for a Maester to be sent to their chambers immediately. One of them must be a servant. With luck, the Maester would already be there when they arrived.
She cried out as he began to ascend the stairs, wincing with each step, her weak grip on him tightening. “It hurts, Aemond.”
“I know, my love.” He slowed down, though his pounding heart urged him to do just the opposite. “I’m so sorry. The maester will be here soon, and he’ll help you feel better, hmm?”
“He has to stop it. It’s too early,” her voice cracked, and Aemond’s heart with it. “They’re not ready!”
But it couldn’t be stopped, not by man or gods. Their children would be born today. The only question was whether they would survive. If their mother would survive. Her poor body was so weak, and her heart… he had broken that, too.
If any of them died today, that blood would be on his hands, and he would gladly accept his damnation to the worst of the seven hells.
“Come now,” he chided gently as they reached the corridor to their chambers. “Our sons are dragons – they will be strong. And so will you, ābrazȳrītsos.”
“Sons?” She lifted her head, her entire body trembling with the effort it took. Her eyes – those beautiful eyes now gilded by the setting sun outside the windows – locked with his. “How… you sound so sure.”
Just one more lie. One more, and then he would never lie to her again.
Besides, this lie was small, nearly inconsequential. Many fathers insisted that their children would be sons until the child itself proved them wrong. It would be so easy for her to believe. The truth would hurt her – perhaps weaken her further. Aemond did not want her to hear Alys’ name. She should never have to even think of that witch ever again.
But he could not bring himself to do it. He could not sully the birth of his sons with yet another lie. He pushed their door open with a shoulder, never breaking her gaze. “Alys told me after you left. Before… she had a vision of us holding our sons. I’m so sorry, love.”
She slumped again, her face dropping into the curve of his neck. Once, she kissed him there, slept with her head tucked there. Now, it was simply where her head lolled. “I’m glad it’s sons. You’ll have two heirs…”
Her words were cut short by a gasp of pain, but Aemond heard it clearly. It echoed in his very bones. So if I live, you’ll have no more need of me. The gods had just crumbled the ground beneath him, his heart and soul with it. He was falling, falling, falling…
“I am glad, too.” He set her down gently in the bed, brushing away several tangles of hair stuck to her sweaty brow before arranging the pillows around her, hoping he was adequately managing to hide his devastation. For he could not bear to be without her, could not bear to love her only from a distance. He would go mad. Yet he would happily accept that horrible fate if it meant he would not lose her to the Stranger. “Mother will be, as well.”
“Mother!” She tried to rise, but he held her softly to the bed. “I can’t do this without Mother, Aemond. We must return home immediately!”
“I am afraid that is not an option, Princess.” Maester Artos stood just within the doorway, maids and Septas streaming in behind him. He was a mountain of a man, better suited to the battlefield than the birthing bed. But he was good at what he did – very good. Aemond had seen him work miracles on men who should have never survived their injuries.
The moment the women began attending to his wife, he approached the Maester, speaking quietly so as not to frighten her. “Something is wrong, Artos, she is bleeding. And she’s very weak.”
Artos hardly acknowledged him, looking only at the princess lying in the bed. “The blood is not the problem. She is distressed and too thin.” He stated, as cold and clinical as all other Maesters.
“Yes, I know that already.” Aemond took a shaky, calming breath. He did not like the way Artos observed her, as if she was a thing to be studied rather than a woman – a princess. Perhaps when it was all over, he’d kill the man for it. “I fear she is not strong enough to survive this.”
She cried out behind them. Two maids were pressing damp cloths to her forehead. Another was hastily braiding her hair back. A Septa had begun cutting away her dress, leaving her only in her chemise as two more maids removed her slippers and stockings. Two other Septas knelt by the windows, praying, while one woman who seemed to be neither maid nor Septa laid metal and wood instruments atop a tall, thin table.
It took every ounce of Aemond’s self-control not to go to her. To shove away each woman because it should be him – and him alone – to touch his wife while she was so vulnerable. He should be the one to protect her, but he couldn’t. He could only hurt her, it seemed.
“Artos!” Aemond hissed.
“Is her spirit weak as well?” There was suspicion in his dark eyes. The same he’d shown when he confirmed Alys was carrying a child. If he hadn’t been so proficient a healer, Aemond might have killed him then.
But for now, Aemond was glad Artos was alive. He swallowed, avoiding looking back at the bed as his wife continued to whimper and moan. “Yes.” The maester just hummed before approaching the bed. Aemond followed, kneeling at the bedside, the maids immediately clearing away.
“This is Maester Artos, ābrazȳrītsos.” She stared wide-eyed at the hulking mass of the man who now knelt between her legs. Aemond tugged on her hand, her gaze snapping back to him. “I know him well. He’s going to take very good care of you, I promise.”
She shuddered, her eyes closed tight as she squeezed Aemond’s hand so hard he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. He delighted in it. She was not as weak as he thought, thank the gods. If she needed to break every bone in his hand – in his body – to live through this, he would let her do so without complaint.
“Are you going to stay with me?” she asked, her voice already ravaged by screaming.
Aemond blinked. When they first learned they were to have a child, he swore he would. But now, it seemed impossible for her to want him there. Not after what he’d done. “Do you… want me to stay?”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out but another moan of pain. Her eyes darted all over his face. The longer she stayed silent, the further Aemond’s stomach dropped, and his heart ached.
“I believe it wise to have the prince wait outside,” Artos said decisively.
Aemond felt her hand slide out of his, the sensation the same as if he were falling from Vhagar’s back—her answer.
He nodded, and though he knew he shouldn’t, he leaned over her and kissed her forehead, trailing a hand down her cheek. “I love you.”
As he walked to the door, he still held a little shred of hope in his heart, waiting to hear her say it back.
It never came.
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The moment the door shut behind Aemond, she regretted sending him away. She wanted to call him back so she wouldn’t be alone with so many strangers. But panic began to set in as the maids pulled her gently down the bed, and her voice failed her.
“It won’t be long now, princess,” the maester said, but she found no comfort in it. She couldn’t even remember his name. Alton? Alyn? Amos? Aemond had said he trusted him, but…
But that meant he had been here when Aemond was with Alys. And that glint of pity in his eyes, not just for her conditions, but for what he knew. He knew. Seven Hells, he’d probably been the one to care for Alys and her pregnancy.
Alys. Alys, Alys, fucking Alys!
She did not know what to think of the woman who had stolen so much from her. Had she stolen it, or had Aemond given it? She could hardly make sense of what she’d learned in that dreary little room.
Alys was not the evil, scheming witch she had first imagined. But neither was she innocent in the affair, not wholly. She was not remorseful for her actions, but she apologized for hurting her. She had been kind.
Blinding pain shot through her, and she screamed. Wordless and desperate, her only outlet for release. She needed to scream, needed to roar, needed to breathe fire. Anything to distract from this. Gods, she even wished for a moment for Alys to be there, holding her hand. At least then, she could return some of that pain.
“Princess,” the maester said, though he sounded far away. Though it was more likely that her shouting was drowning him out. “Very soon, I will ask that you push. Do you know how, your highness?”
Push. That’s what the septas had instructed Helaena to do at the birth of her twins and for Maelor. She even had vague memories of the word from when she peeked through the open door to her mother’s chambers when Daeron was born. But what it meant and how to do it?
Her confusion must have been apparent, for the maester continued. His voice was frustratingly calm and steady. “It is fine if you do not, princess. You must simply follow your instincts. When you feel the urge, push the child outward with all your might.”
“I have no might.” She heard herself laughing through tears and only then realized she was crying. Someone took her hand – she didn’t know who. But the feeling of another’s skin on hers was heavenly.
“You have carried these babes for months,” the maester – Artos! that was his name – said gently, “while your husband and the realm were at war. In my estimation, you are the mightiest woman in Westeros.”
She felt nearly every muscle she had tense, turning her answering grateful smile into a grimace. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have weathered her pregnancy as well as a paper boat in a storm. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not still love her husband after he betrayed her. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have let her emotions weaken her or put her children’s lives in danger.
She was far from the mightiest woman in Westeros, and she could not do this. She wasn’t strong enough. She was only a weak and broken little girl.
A maid approached, a fresh cool, damp cloth in her hands. The princess had not looked at any of their faces, too absorbed in her pain and panic. But now, she caught the eyes of this girl—deep, rich brown, so similar to her own – to her mother’s.
“I want my mother,” she whispered to the maid, even knowing it was impossible. “I can’t do this without her.”
The maid gaped at her as if she could not fathom a princess ever speaking to her. She looked to her companions for guidance, but the princess only looked into the maid’s eyes and thought of her mother—the scent of the rosemary oil she used in her hair, the warmth of her embrace, and the soothing tones of her voice.
“Please, I want my mother,” she begged. A new surge of pain gripped her, radiating into her legs. They were coming faster now; she barely had time to breathe between each wave. “Please.”
“I’m so sorry, Your Highness.” The maid’s voice was high and breathy, nothing like her mother’s. “The queen is not here.”
She cried, turning away from those false eyes. She was alone – entirely and utterly alone.
“Princess, I need you to be strong now.” Artos’ sweaty brow was furrowed with half a dozen creases, his eyes wide and mouth a firm line. He looked more like a commander on a battlefield than a maester. The Grand Maester would have smiled at her, but he was not here, either. “Your labors are progressing quickly. It is nearly time to push.”
“I don’t know how,” she cried. She refused to open her eyes. If she kept them closed, she could almost imagine she was home.
Artos wrapped his hands around her ankles, pushing them upwards and further apart. “You do, princess. The Mother wove the knowledge into your body. Listen to it, and all will be well.”
“I – ”
Her next scream rattled the room, the keep, the entirety of the Riverlands.
Fire, ice, steel, and claw seemed to rake down her spine to her thighs. But Artos was right; her body reacted to the pain, her muscles moving near-unconsciously to force the babe out of her womb. She followed the instinct, pushing it harder, harder, harder.
“Very good, princess!” Was that Artos or Orwyle? She couldn’t tell anymore.
It was never-ending.
Pain, pushing, and a brief moment of reprieve.
Again.
Again.
Again.
It lasted hours, days, perhaps even years.
Was a child – a son – even worth this pain? How could she love someone who had tortured her so? Would she ever be able to look at him without remembering how she suffered?
Pain.
Pain.
PAIN.
Then –
“Stop, princess!”
She went limp, vaguely beginning to feel other sensations creep in: the coolness of the water on her forehead, the slight scratching of the sheets beneath her, and the hushed whispers of the maids and midwives.
The pain was still there, but softer. Less insistent.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice nearly unrecognizable, even to her.
Artos emerged from between her legs, relief painted over his harsh face. “Nothing is wrong, princess. It is simply time to be gentle and allow your body to do its work.” He smiled, chuckling under his breath. “I can see your babe’s white hair – quite a bit of it.”
Laughter bubbled up in her throat. Deep, joyous laughter. Another slight wave of pain passed through her, but she didn’t care at all. She was thinking about her niece and nephew, how Jaehaerys was born with nearly a full mane of silver frizz while Jaehaera had not a single hair on her head until she was over a year old. “He has hair?”
“Yes, although I do not know yet whether it is a boy, princess.”
“It is. He is.”
There was one more brief surge of pain, and then she heard her son cry.
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It was torture to wait outside while his ābrazȳrītsos screamed with pain. At first, Aemond stood leaning against the wall, as Aegon did when Helaena began her labors, but his knees failed him when he heard a scream that rattled the world.
He’d been on the floor since, resisting the urge to cover his ears. But he had caused her this pain, so he must listen.
He would be in that room with her if he hadn’t been a weak, damnable fool. He would have held her hand, letting her release her pain onto him. She had only squeezed his hand once, yet he still felt the ghost of her touch on his skin. He would savor that pain for the rest of his life.
It seemed to be never-ending, the torture his son was inflicting upon her. How could he ever forgive the child for doing this to his own mother?
Then, it stopped.
Aemond leaped to his feet, panic infecting his blood like a disease. Why had she gone quiet? What was wrong? Was she dead? He couldn’t face –
A babe cried—his first cry, with his first breath.
Their son.
He tried to push the door open, but it was locked.
“Let me in!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the door. “Artos, let me in!”
There was no answer, but he could hear soft voices inside. None sounded like hers. Oh gods, had she brought their son into the world at the cost of her own life?
Aemond slammed himself against the door again and again, not caring for the damage he was doing to his own body. “Open the door now, Artos!”
He threw himself against the wood again and again. At some point, it had to yield. Either it would, or his body would.
It opened just before he launched himself at it again—not all the way, but it was open. Then, Artos stared at him through the gap with his hateful, disapproving gaze.
“Let me in,” he growled. Trying to force the door open was useless, as the maester was practically a giant and, apparently, throwing all his strength into holding it closed. “If you don’t let me see my wife, I swear I’ll – ”
“Your wife has not finished her labors yet, my prince.” Damn him, the mountainous bastard. “But I am pleased to inform you that she has borne you a son.”
Though he knew it was to be a son, the words still shot through him. A son. His son. Their son.
“Is he healthy? Is she?” There was no more fight in his voice. The warrior prince had vanished, replaced only by the husband and father. By all the gods, he was a father.
Artos nodded. “The boy is small but healthy. Your maester may have miscalculated the date of conception. He is remarkably healthy for being born so early.”
“And my wife?”
“She is tired, but well. The second babe is not quite ready to emerge, so she is resting.”
The weight of all the world was lifted from his shoulders. He felt like the little boy he had once been on Driftmark, wanting nothing more than to see his zaldrīzītsos and take comfort in her embrace. “May I see her? Please.”
“I’m afraid not, my prince.” Artos at least had the decency to sound genuinely apologetic. “She needs this rest. With the first birth, she was wonderfully strong, more than I could have ever imagined. But I fear she has depleted her strength. She fell asleep the moment it was done.”
“Is… is it bad that she fell asleep?”
Artos sighed, his eyes turning to the floor. “Ordinarily, no, but with how thin she is, how weak… it worries me.”
No. No, no, no. “Is there anything you can do? To help strengthen her?”
“I am afraid not, my prince.”
“Well, do something. Do whatever you can.”
A soft moan came from behind the door. Ābrazȳrītsos. Aemond pushed against the door, opening it as far as he could to try and catch the barest glimpse of her.
Her eyes were nearly closed, her reddened cheeks making them appear as dark as night. Her chemise was soaked through with sweat and whatever other fluids came out with their child. But no blood beyond what he already knew to be there.
“Ābrazȳrītsos! I’m here!” He shouted. It took a moment for her to look his way. He could have sworn she smiled. “I’m with you! You must be strong, my love. I know you can be. I love you! I love you so much, ñuha zaldrīzītsos!”
Artos pushed against the door, forcing Aemond back. “That is enough, my prince. Upsetting her will only drain her strength.”
Aemond knew it was true, that his presence would likely upset her rather than comfort her. So, he stopped resisting and allowed the maester to close the door. Just before it closed, he whispered one final command, “Take care of her, Artos. She is my world.”
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The pain returned, worse than before. The lightning crept down her spine again, but it was now accompanied by a great force set on tearing her body apart at the seams. Pushing brought no relief, nor did it seem to move her son any closer to the world.
Artos came to her bedside, resting the back of his hand against her brow.
 “It’s worse this time,” she confided in the maester when it finally ebbed. “It’s so much worse. Why?”
He sighed and sat on the bedside, his massive hand nearly eclipsing her head as he stroked her hair. It made her feel remarkably like a kitten. “I cannot say, princess. There are many possibilities. This child could be larger, in a slightly different position, or…” He hesitated. “As I said, there are too many possibilities for me to be sure.”
His pause unsettled her, but it soon faded away when another wave went through her. “Is he nearly ready? I can’t do this much longer.” At least she knew what to do this time, so surely it would be better.
“Ah, another son, is it?” Artos stood from the bed to examine her spread legs. Several maids gently moved her to replace the sheets beneath her. “Not yet, but soon. Your motherly instincts will tell you when.”
Motherly instincts. Gods, she was a mother now. There was a child on the other side of the room that she had given birth to, that she had grown within her. A son who would depend on her for his entire life. Her, and his father.
Aemond would be a good father, she knew, even if he were decidedly lacking as a husband. But as a father, he would be attentive, kind, and loving. He would give their sons all the love he was denied by their own father.
They would not repeat the mistakes of the past. They would love their sons. They would not ignore them, speaking to them only to scold them. They would teach them the language of their ancestors themselves instead of relying on tutors. As soon as they were old enough, they would teach them how to be compassionate and fair rulers. They would not force them to marry for political advantage or the continuation of the bloodline but let them fall in love, as they had.
She could see them now. Both with white hair and unruly curls. Bright lilac eyes. The elder would take after her, but with Aemond’s determination. The younger would take after their father but with her gentle temperament.
As if the vision was summoning her second son, she felt her body constricting, muscles tightening. Without fear, she began to push.
“Princess, stop!”
Artos screamed as if someone was holding a sword to his throat, desperate and panicked. His eyes were wide and bulging as he looked from her face to where her second son should be emerging. “You mustn’t push now, princess. Not once. I…”
He stood, pulling one of the Septas aside. Others followed, and their frantic, poorly hushed whispers grew louder. She knew the sight should frighten her, but she forced herself to remain calm. Aemond said he trusted this man and had seen him work miracles. Whatever was wrong, Artos would fix it.
She was sure.
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Artos burst out of the door without warning. Aemond pushed away from the wall. “Is it over?”
The maester sighed.
Shit. Seven Hells and all the Gods.
“Your wife is strong, my prince,” he began. Holy gods, he sounded as if he would cry. “Enough so that I would have little doubt that she could deliver your second child, but…”
“What’s wrong?” Aemond felt his heart race, his blood surge, his finger twitching for his sword. He was going into battle, but this was not a battle he could fight with steel or fire. This was not a battle he could fight at all. “Artos?”
“The babe is not in the right position.” He moved his hands as if it would somehow make Aemond understand what he was saying.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that the babe cannot be born, your highness.”
No. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything she had suffered and survived.
“If she were to continue her labors, neither she nor the child would live.” Artos put a hand on his shoulder, an attempt at comfort. “I can save only one. Who survives… that is your decision, my prince.”
The gods were cruel to force this upon him – the very choice that had damned their family decades ago when Viserys chose to sacrifice his wife and queen for the chance at a son. That was where the seeds of destruction had been sown.
Aemond could not repeat the mistakes of the past. He would not be like his father. He had his son and heir. A second would be preferred, but not at the cost of his ābrazȳrītsos.
His ābrazȳrītsos, whose heart would break to lose her son. Who would never forgive him if he decided to –
He couldn’t choose. He couldn’t let her die, and he couldn’t let their son die.
He couldn't live without her, and he couldn’t take away her will to live.
He tore himself out of Artos’ grasp and stormed into the room.
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Aemond threw open the door, his eyes wide and wet, and suddenly, she was not so sure that Maester Artos would fix whatever was wrong.
He ran to the bed, not sparing a glance at their new son. She burst into sobs the moment he took her in his arms. “Oh, ābrazȳrītsos,” he whispered into her hair as he kissed her temples. She entwined her fingers with his, desperately squeezing. “I’m here now. Everything is going to be fine.”
Liar. Sweet Liar. Beloved Liar.
“I want Mother. I want Helaena.” Her voice crackled with tears and exhaustion. Everything hurt. Someone – most likely her – was crying, though it sounded distant. And if Aemond was here, not waiting outside…
If Aemond was here, holding her hand and stroking her hair, it meant something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“Mother is not here right now,” he said, squeezing her hand tighter. He wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t meet her gaze. “And Helaena… she can’t be here. I’m so sorry.”
“She told me she would hold my hand like I did for her. She promised!”
“I know. I know, my love, but it is not possible.”
Because Helaena was dead. So were Daeron, and Jaehaerys, and Jaehaera, and Maelor, and Otto, and Ser Criston, and nearly every other person she loved. Aegon would be dead soon, too, then she would only have her mother and her husband.
Her mother, who had begged her to forgive the husband who betrayed her and broken her heart.
“I can’t do this alone, Aemond. I can’t.”
“You can, I know it. You are so strong, dearest.” Yet there was no confidence in his voice.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to tear his hair out just to make him hurt, too. “I can’t! I’ll die if you make me, Aemond, I know it. I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.”
He pursed his lips, eyes narrowed. “My love, I…” his voice faded, leaving them in total silence, save for that distant crying.
Then, he kissed her—not the soft kisses on the temple or head of the past fortnight, but the way he had kissed her when he said goodbye all those months ago. His lips slotted against hers perfectly, and she opened for him on instinct. She knew she should stop, push him away, and scold him, but she couldn’t.
Everything felt wrong—her entire body felt wrong. But this, kissing Aemond, felt right. Her desperation for comfort far overpowered her anger and resentment. Her trembling hand rested on his shoulder, her fingers bunching in his shirt. She pulled him closer, wanting more—more rightness, more connection, more feeling.
More Aemond.
But he pulled away, resting his brow against hers as she chased his lips again. He placed a hand on either side of her face, holding her still. “I’m going to fix this,” he rasped, his voice shredded by fear and desperation. “I will fix this, I swear.”
Then, he let go.
He stood from the bed and turned away from his wife.
He was leaving. He was fucking leaving her.
She screamed his name, cursed him, begged him to come back, hurled insults, and cried for him. He couldn’t do this to her, not after everything he’d already done.
This was not love. The heat that burned in her chest was not love.
It was hate.
For the first time in her life, she truly hated Aemond.
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“Alys!” Aemond bellowed as he descended the stairs to the servant’s quarters, taking the steps two, three at a time. No one dared approach him. Not even Artos had tried to stop him as he ran away from his ābrazȳrītsos.
She may hate him forever for this, for leaving her when she was so weak and scared.
Fine. It would be worth it.
“ALYS!” The door snapped from its upper hinge as he tore it open. The witch was precisely where she’d been when Aemond left, her hand on her chin as she looked into the fire. What vile hell did she see in her visions now? “Alys!”
“I heard you, Aemond.” She did not look at him, only staring at the flames, those green eyes flitting around as if she were reading a book. “The entire continent heard you.” There was no humor in her voice, no hint of a smile on her face.
He swallowed, panting. He was crying – weeping like a little boy. That didn’t matter now. Very little mattered now.
Aemond fell to his knees before the witch with whom he had destroyed his life. He would do whatever she asked, destroy what little was left of his pride if necessary. “I need your help, Alys. Please.”
“She’s dying?”
“Yes. The maester said I had to… that I had to choose who to save.”
“And you can’t choose between her and the child.”
 “No, I – ” he swallowed as his voice shattered. He was going to vomit. “I can’t, Alys. I can’t. Please.”
“What is it, exactly, that you want me to do?” She was colder than the Wall, than the entirety of the lands beyond it.
“Save them, both of them.”
Alys’ eyes narrowed. Her face was painted with an expression he had never seen. He had no clue what it meant. “What would you sacrifice,” she asked flatly, “to ensure your wife and her children – your true heirs – live?”
“Anything,” Aemond croaked, “Everything.”
One corner of her sinful mouth lifted in a way that did not bring him comfort. She sighed as if taking the time to thoroughly consider his plea. The wicked bitch was gleefully stalling when the lives of his wife and child could end at any moment.
“Please, Alys,” he begged again, desperation crawling through his veins like spreading ice. “I cannot live without her, and she will never recover from her grief if she loses the babe.”
Something passed over her face, and she smiled fully. “You have always been a man of loyalty and nobility, Aemond.” Her grin sharpened as she laid one delicate hand upon her belly. “Almost always, at least.”
“Alys,” he growled in warning.
“Oh, don’t be a beast about it,” she scoffed. “I will do it – save them. If only in memory of our time together.”
Aemond sagged as relief swept through him, but it did not last long. She was still dying. The babe was still dying. Whatever Alys would do, she needed to do it now. He opened his mouth to command her to start, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“I promise it will be done.” She flung her hand to the door in dismissal. “You should be there for her. She is still so very frightened.”
He needed nothing more to run back to his wife.
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She was alone. Even with Maester Artos and the dozen women hovering around her, even with her son cooing softly from the cradle by the window, she had never felt so alone.
Aemond was gone.
He’d left her. Without even a goodbye, he’d left her. He had not even stopped to meet his son.
Artos murmured something to one of the Septas, who quickly gathered the other women on the far side of the room. He approached the bed, again seating himself upon the edge, and pressed the back of his fingers to her brow briefly before petting her hair. “How are you feeling, princess?”
“Am I going to die?”
He hesitated in answering. “I cannot say for certain…”
“I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.” Her heart constricted as his fingers brushed against a spot where Aemond had kissed her. “You told him, now tell me.”
“Very well,” he sighed. His harsh face fell, and she swore she could see his eyes glistening. “The babe is breech. It should emerge head-first, but it is not. It’s… the way it is attempting to come out is nearly impossible. Should I not intervene, one or both of you will die.”
No. No, no, no, it wasn’t fair. To suffer for this long, to endure what she endured, only for her child to enter the world wrong? In a way that would kill them? She had always been good and devout. She prayed and studied holy texts, listened to her Septas and the Maesters, and avoided sin at all costs. Then why was she being punished?
Unless… the gods had not sent this to punish her.
Aemond had abandoned her and their marriage – their holy union – when he slept with Alys. It would be fitting, and very like the gods, for him to lose that which he had forsaken. She and her second son were merely instruments of punishment. But it wasn’t fair.
“There is nothing you can do?” She felt hollow as Artos continued to look at her in pity.
The warrior-maester looked as if he were about to cry, as well. “In these situations, it is usually asked of the father whom he would rather save.”
So that was why Artos left the room – to ask Aemond whether to save her or the child.
“Who did he choose?” Either answer would devastate her. He would either prove the fragility of his love for her, or he would willingly break her heart by killing their son. Whatever he chose, he would become a kinslayer thrice over.
“He… he did not, your highness.”
“What?”
“I explained the situation, and he stormed in here – to you. When he left, he said nothing. He just ran. I presumed he had…” But he hadn’t. Had not said a word about the peril she and their son were now in.
A coward. Too frightened to maintain his vows of marriage. Too weak to admit his wrongdoing. Too cowardly to even make this most crucial of decisions. The gods damn him.
If they hadn’t already.
“So… what will you do?” If she had to be the one to make the decision, so be it.
“There are three options.” None of them were very good, she knew, simply by looking at his forlorn face. She had thought him a grave man when she first saw him. Now, he looked mournful – a reluctant harbinger of death. “I can forcibly remove the child, more than likely killing it in the process. I can attempt to save it and, in so doing, certainly kill you. Or we can proceed with the birth, risking killing both of you and pray that the gods may be merciful.”
Such a choice – a decision of life and death – should be difficult. It should tear away at the soul to condemn another. It should be far beyond the limits of the heart or mind.
But it was easy.
“Save him,” she whispered. “Let me die.”
Artos frowned deeply, shook his head, and said something in return, but she did not listen – she could not and would not hear his words. She only vaguely saw him move to the end bed, ripping away the sleeve of his robes as he barked orders at the maid and midwives. Perhaps the gods were merciful to dull her senses now so she could pass peacefully.
What did it matter if she died now?
She will have fulfilled her duty and given her husband his heirs. Finding a new wife would be easy – what woman would not want to marry him? Even if news of Alys spread beyond the walls of Harrenhal, surely it was nothing in exchange for a crown. Aemond would have everything he needed to be king.
If she lived, what sort of life would it be? To raise one son while constantly mourning the other. To be the wife of a man she could no longer trust. To remain empty, a shell of her former self. She would be alive, but she would still be a ghost.
“Save him,” she said again, her voice fading.
It was easier this way. Hadn’t she already learned that it was easier not to fight? Letting Aemond take care of her was easier than fighting him. Perhaps it would be easier to let him care for the children, too. He would love them enough that they would not feel her absence.
Distantly, she felt pressure between her legs, then heard her firstborn son cry out to echo her own screams.
Her son.
Oh, he had no name.
She couldn’t leave him motherless and without a name.
Months ago, she had decided on names, but they were hard to remember now. What was it? She could grant him this one last gift. She just needed to remember…
“Daeron.”
Yes. It had been her brother’s name. Her kind, brave, daring brother. He died some months ago. There had been a battle. Why was her little brother fighting? He was too young for that.
Tendrils of pale mist crept into the edges of her vision, playfully willing her to sleep.
Once she was gone, Daeron—her Daeron—would have a little brother, too. He would need a name as well—a strong name, a courageous name. When she was dead, he would need courage.
“Aenar.”
A strong name. With courage enough to forge a new beginning.
There. Names for her sons, the little princes.
With that last parting gift, she could close her eyes at last.
Goodbye, she tried to say.
I love you, my children.
Be kind to each other.
Love each other always.
Goodbye.
The mist filled her vision, illuminated by a distant light. It was cool, like a late spring morning. She did not hurt anymore. Did not feel anything but an overwhelming sense of peace.
The distant light faded.
The mist darkened.
Through it, she swore she could see grass-green eyes and hear the faraway cry of a babe.
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She was still screaming. Good.
Screaming meant she was still alive. Screaming meant Alys was fulfilling her promise. Screaming meant that Aemond was racing back to his wife – his living, breathing, beloved wife – and not her corpse.
The door was still locked when he arrived—one final obstacle between him and his family.
No, not final. Far from it. The door was the only tangible thing keeping him from his wife and children, yes, but there was far more beyond it. The pain he caused her, the hatred his ābrazȳrītsos now surely felt for him, and the third child that would soon be born still kept them as far apart as the earth and stars.
They would get past it. They had to. They were siblings, husband and wife, now destined to become King and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. They were meant for each other. The gods or fate or whatever else had made her for him and him for her.
They were two parts of the same whole, cleaved.
“Prince Aemond.”
Cregan Stark, the man who humiliated him and his wife mere hours ago, stood behind him. Aemond snarled. “Leave. Now.”
Stark stood strong and still. “You have been my enemy. You may be still, I have not decided. I have no admiration nor respect for you, my prince. In short, I do not like you.”
“Do you want me to kill you?” Aemond asked. He did not wish to greet his sons with blood-soaked hands, but if Stark didn’t close his fucking mouth –
“To lose the woman you love so dearly in this way… it is a pain I know all too well and one I would not wish on anyone. I have instructed all my men to pray for the Princess and the child, and I will join them soon. Negotiations will be postponed indefinitely.”
“I…” Perhaps Aemond had underestimated the brute, if he was a brute at all. And though he knew the prayers were unnecessary, gratitude still dulled his rage. “Thank you, Lord Stark.”
He simply inclined his head and walked away, leaving Aemond leaning against that godsdamned door, listening to nothing but the sound of his own panting breath.
Oh gods.
He froze.
The screaming was gone.
It was silent.
Was she dead?
Had Alys betrayed him?
He would kill her. He would tear her apart with his own hands and –
A child cried.
Then…
Oh, thank each and every god a thousand times over.
For then, Aemond heard his wife laughing.
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“Princess?”
She always expected that the voice of the Father would be deep and smooth, but shouldn’t it be the Mother to greet her, given how she died? And shouldn’t the gods greet her by name, not her title?
“Princess, it is time to wake up,” the voice said again. “Open your eyes for me.”
Oh, her eyes were closed. She should open them.
The Heavens were not as bright as she imagined, nor as golden. They were dark and sparsely decorated and looked very much like –
“I am not dead?”
Maester Artos looked down at her and smiled. It reminded her of the few times she had seen her father smile at her, sparking a warmth in her chest she had not felt for years. She had not known she still remembered those smiles. “I am very happy to say you are not, your highness.”
“But, my son – ”
“He lives, too.”
It couldn’t be. After all the suffering of the past year, she could not believe it could be true. Loss had become a certainty, as sure as the sun rising each morning.
A babe cried, and she turned toward the sound. A young maid was wrapping an infant boy with a shock of white curls in a cobalt blue blanket. Daeron.
A different, softer cry came from the other end of the room. There, another boy with only a smattering of silver wisps atop his head was being gently cleaned by a Septa. Aenar.
Her sons – alive and well and here.
She threw her head back against the pillows and laughed.
She laughed with joy and relief, with eight months of eager waiting and sickness. She laughed with a body nearly dead, saved only by some miracle she did not understand. And she laughed with a heart that was both shattered and overflowing.
This was the moment she had dreamed of since she learned she was pregnant, since the moment she married Aemond. She had dreamed of this all her life. It was her destiny, even if it was vastly different from how she had dreamed it. For she was not at home in the Red Keep but within the cursed stones of Harrenhal. Her mother was not by her side but miles away. The family that was supposed to crowd around her and coo over the children were nearly all dead. And her husband…
“Let me in!” he shouted through the door, the wood pounding against stone as he threw himself against it. He had been doing that before, but she did not notice until now. It was so like him, the impatience and need to act, that she laughed again. “Ābrazȳrītsos! Is that you? Tell me you are safe!”
Taking her laughter as permission, Artos opened the door. It was mere heartbeats later that Aemond was upon the bed, his eye flitting over every inch of her, his hands roaming to try and locate something wrong, to stem blood that did not flow or relieve pain that did not exist.
“I’m fine,” she said, breathless. “I did it, lēkia, and I’m fine.”
“You did it?” He looked down at her in utter disbelief and joy before his eye drifted to the Maester. Tears slipped from his eye and caught the light of the setting sun. “She did it…”
Her gaze went to the maid that held her firstborn – the girl with eyes like her mother’s. Fitting, for her to be the one to hold him. But it was her turn. “Bring Daeron to me,” she ordered,” some strength at last returning to her voice. “I want to hold him.”
Aemond stared at her. “Daeron?”
Was he angry that she named their sons without him? She couldn’t quite tell. Her mind was still fuzzy, like the mist she had seen still lay over her, casting everything in a sweet, happy light. She shrugged. “There are already too many Aegons, so…”
He laughed. She had missed that sound – she loved it so dearly. He settled into the bed next to her, their bodies fitting together perfectly, like two halves of a broken plate. So many familiar feelings – the warmth of his arm around her, the rhythm of his heart, his lips kissing her temple in the gentle way that always sent shivers down her spine. Hadn’t her spine hurt not long ago? “Daeron is perfect.”
Indeed, he was absolutely perfect. So tiny and precious as he was put in her arms, looking up at his parents with wide lilac eyes. Neither she nor Aemond said anything as they beheld him, taking in each tiny, perfect detail. The wild curls of his silver hair. Each and every eyelash framing his bright eyes. The pink of his lips. Fingers and toes so wonderfully soft and small. A toothless smile that lit the world.
“He’s going to be king someday,” she realized aloud. How could someone so tiny rule an entire kingdom? He had a lot of growing to do before the Conqueror’s Crown would fit.
“A great king, I think,” Aemond mused. He held out a finger, and Daeron instinctively wrapped his hand around it. “Wise and strong. Daring, like his namesake.”
“He must be kind, too.”
“He will be,” Aemond assured, brushing out her damp, tangled hair with his fingers. The feeling was so familiar, but each touch had her flinching slightly. “We will raise him to be kind. His brother, too.”
“Aenar.”
Aemond stiffened. Had he forgotten they had another son, or did he not like the name she gave him? He pulled his finger back from his son’s fist to touch the babe’s hair. “The Exile?”
“I just thought…” Perhaps it had been a foolish name. But it had felt right when it came to her, when she was on the brink of death. “Our family needs a new beginning.”
“Yes… I suppose it does.” He kissed her again with slightly too much pressure. “Another fine name.”
She looked at the Septa that had been cleaning him. Maester Artos stood with her now, along with several other women, crowding so much she could not see the babe. “I want to hold him, too. Bring him to me.”
None of them moved. The room fell silent.
“Allow me just a moment longer, princess,” Artos said. His voice shook, and he would not look at her or Aemond. “I am still finishing my assessment of the boy.”
He’s dead, her mind insisted. They saved your life at the cost of his. He died because of you.
“No,” she whispered. “No, no, no.”
Daeron began fussing in her arms, disturbed by how she began to tremble. She failed one son by killing him, and now she was already failing as a mother to the one who survived. Aemond tightened his arm on her shoulders, pulling her closer as his free arm gently lifted their son into his own grasp.
He hushed her, ducking his head to press his cheek to hers. “Lykirī, ābrazȳrītsos. Izūgō daor īlo bēvili gō.” Calm, little wife. Do not panic before we have reason to.
“Kostan daor,” she whimpered. If Aenar was dead…
“Is he alive?” Aemond’s hand moved to shelter Daeron’s head as if to shield him from whatever danger or heartbreak lurked. She turned to press herself into him – into the safety of his arms.
Brother. Husband. Protector.
Why did the feel and scent of him no longer make her feel safe?
“Yes, my prince,” Artos answered.
“Will he remain that way?”
“Yes…”
“You could tell me he’s green-skinned and winged for all I care.” His arm curled protectively around her, but it did not comfort her. Rather, she bristled against it, the possessiveness of it. He did not notice. “He’s alive, and that’s enough. Bring him.”
Artos hesitated but obeyed, hastily wrapping the babe in a dark blanket.
He looked whole – unbroken. Aenar’s eyes were closed as the Maester placed him in her arms, but she could feel his warmth, his little heart beating, and the faint rise and fall of his chest. He only woke when a tear fell from her cheek onto his.
Even then, he did not cry. He only looked at his mother with bright eyes – the same shade of violet as his father's and brother’s. “Ñuha trēso,” she whispered, and he smiled. My son.
“Taobosa sylvȳse,” Aemond added. “He already recognizes the language of his ancestors. He will serve his brother well. Dārys sepār Ondoso zȳhon.” Wise boy. The King and his Hand.
They had two perfect sons. So why did Artos still look like that?
The Maester’s frown deepened. “I am afraid…” he cleared his throat. “It appears that the younger prince was injured during the birth.”
She examined him again but could find nothing wrong. He was perfect. Surely, Artos was mistaken.
“May I?” His large hand hovered over the edge of the blanket.
Her instinct was to pull away, to not let this man touch her son. Yes, he had saved both their lives, but he must be wrong now. Why should she let him make a problem where there was none?
She suppressed that instinct and allowed him to uncover Aenar’s right arm. Artos’ demeanor had made it seem as though something was horribly wrong – that the arm would be missing or deformed. But it was just an arm, small and plump and pale, with a splotch of reddish-purple covering the shoulder like a pauldron.
“It… is it a birthmark?” She brushed a thumb over it, the skin smooth but slightly raised. A birthmark wasn’t an injury, nor was it exceedingly unusual. There were several families where such a mark appeared on nearly every child born.
“Explain yourself, Artos,” Aemond hissed. He looked ready to tear the man to pieces. If he did, he would likely do so without even setting Daeron down.
With a sigh, Artos ran a finger down the length of Aenar’s arm. “Note how he gives no reaction.”
“So he is calm,” Aemond spat. “I fail to see the injury.”
“Do the same to the elder.” He repeated the touch. “Gently, my prince.”
Aemond obeyed with a scowl. The moment he touched the babe, Daeron squirmed and flailed his arm.
“But he looks fine.” She looked down at her second son, her wise boy, and held out a finger, as Aemond had with Daeron. Aenar’s left arm squirmed within its wrappings, but the right was still. She touched the arm, silently pleading with the gods for it to move, for that tiny hand to reach for her.
It remained still. A desperate noise escaped her. “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” Aemond and Artos said in unison. Her husband attempted to pull her into his chest, but she pushed him away. An embrace could not fix this. Nothing could. He did not pursue her again.
“It is not uncommon among children born breech.” the Maester explained. “I have seen many such injuries and many even worse.”
Artos offered no sympathy or apologies, and she was thankful for it. There was nothing he could say to ease the pain of knowing that her son would never be whole, just like his father. But unlike Aemond, he was never even given the chance, wounded from his first breath. What would the people call him? ‘Prince Aenar One-Arm, son of King Aemond One-Eye?’
“What do we do?” She asked her husband, the Maester, the gods. Anyone who may have an answer.
Aemond’s face was drawn with grief – for his son and for himself. “He will adapt, as I did. I will ensure it. He will be stronger for this. I promise.”
I cannot trust your promises.
The thought was a sudden gale of icy wind scattering the lovely mist coating her mind into oblivion, leaving her with only stark, wicked reality and the faint memory of green eyes.
“How did I survive?”
Too quickly, Aemond turned to her, taking hold of her chin and pulling her close to him. “It does not matter, ābrazȳrītsos. All that does is that you are still with me. You and Aenar.”
If he wasn’t holding her firstborn, she would have shoved him from the bed.Liar. Liar. Liar.
I will fix this. he’d said before he left her. The pure, unrelenting anger she felt as she watched him leave had prevented her from considering what those words meant. Now, she could think of nothing else. What could he do? He was no midwife nor Maester. He had no knowledge of childbirth, beyond the few questions he’d asked of Orwyle months ago. What could he have done for her and Aenar except beg the help of another?
Of Alys.
Alys, who had eyes the color of fresh grass and possessed a dark magic that allowed her visions of the future. Was she also able to influence that future?
How?
At what cost?
What had Aemond promised her in exchange for their lives?
“No Maester wants to admit to ignorance,” Artos smiled sadly as Aenar continued to try to wriggle his left arm free of his blanket, “but I cannot explain it. All I can think is that the gods are kind to you, princess, and for that, I am glad.”
She could not look at him or any of the others in the room who watched her as if they could see the Mother’s hand upon her shoulder.
The gods weren’t kind. They were cruel to allow her to now owe her very life, and that of her son’s, to the two people who had destroyed her. Would she ever be able to look upon Aenar and not remember? To not feel her soul torn between unyielding hatred and infinite gratitude?
Yet, she had her life – and her sons. Surely anything was worth that.
Wasn’t it?
“I’m tired,” she said. The day had seemed to last a year, and the sun had not even set. “I want to rest now.”
After what she endured, no one argued.
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His ābrazȳrītsos fell asleep mere moments after Daeron and Aenar were settled into their cradles. She did not even wake when Aemond lifted her so the servants could replace the soiled bedding. Just as she had so many times before, she tucked her face into his neck as they sat in the window, sighing contentedly. Now, he lay beside her in the bed, trying to memorize how it felt to have her in his arms.
When she woke, he knew she would never allow him to hold her like this again.
She knew. Somehow, his wife knew what he had done to ensure she and Aenar survived, and she would never forgive him for it for as long as she lived.
But she would live.
Aenar would live. Though he would bear the wounds of his father’s sins forever.
After his wife had fallen asleep, Maester Artos had told him that it would likely be necessary to amputate Aenar’s arm. The purple mark on his shoulder had grown, apparently indicating further bleeding within the limb. If it grew much more before morning, the arm would be removed before midday.
It was his fault, Aemond knew.
Alys had told him that in her visions, both boys had been healthy. But that was before his ābrazȳrītsos knew that he betrayed her. Before he brought her to this cursed place. Before he failed to stop her from meeting Alys and learning the full extent of his sins.
He only hoped Aenar would not grow to hate him for it.
For now, the boy slept in his crib, limp arm hidden beneath the dark blanket he was swaddled in. Aemond rose from the bed, moving closer to his son.
How peaceful he looked now, with the redness of his skin finally faded. He did not have as much hair as his older brother, but his was wilder - more reminiscent of his mother’s curls than his father’s straight locks. At least he had that part of her, if not the warm brown eyes Aemond had hoped for.
In the other cradle, Daeron fussed slightly, though he did not wake. It seemed he resented being confined within the tight swaddle of his blanket. The thought made Aemond smile, remembering how his younger brother once did the same. It faded quickly.
He had to go to Alys. To thank her for giving him his family - a kindness he did not deserve. To say goodbye to the child he would never meet. Another cost he would force himself to pay.
He had to go now, while his ābrazȳrītsos slept.
“Before our wedding,” he whispered, careful not to wake her as he approached, “I promised to hold you every night I could, that I would do anything to return to you when I was away. I have failed to uphold that promise, and for that, I am so sorry.”
When he stroked her cheek, she turned into his touch, a small smile upon her lips. Seeing that some unconscious part of her still reacted to him with love warmed his heart, even as the knowledge that her conscious mind would never allow her to do so felt like a dagger buried in his gut.
Aemond knelt at her side, basking in her beauty, memorizing her peaceful face. “Now, I swear my devotion again. I know you no longer wish for me to hold you, and I promise I will not try to persuade you otherwise. But I swear I will always be with you, to love and protect you, even if I must do it from a distance. I will never fail you again.”
It did not matter that she could not hear his vow. Even if she did, she would not believe him. But he made it anyway, for his own sake, and so the gods, wherever they may be, would hear him. It was to them he spoke next.
“Should I ever harm you again, I pray that the gods will strike me down where I stand. And if they do not, I shall do so myself.” He kissed her brow - the sealing of a promise and a farewell - and left.
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A maid shrunk away as she passed Aemond in a corridor deep beneath Harrenhal, cradling the bundle of cloth she carried closer to her chest. It was one of the same maids who had tended to his wife—the young girl with deep brown eyes. She did not wear the clothing of a midwife, but the colors of her linen dress were similar. Perhaps a midwife in training.
Strange, then, for her to be here. Stranger still for her to be seemingly performing the duties of a laundress.
He glanced down at the bundle of cloth she carried and froze.
There was blood. Too much blood.
A young midwife, carrying bedlinens soaked with blood.
What would you sacrifice? Alys had asked.
Aemond ran.
He knew what he would find. There was no other explanation. Yet he still hoped and prayed he was wrong. Loss had followed him like a loyal dog for so long, but today it was banished. It must be.
Alys stood in front of her fire. One hand rested on a stomach that was not as distended as it had been only hours ago.
His wife’s stomach now looked very much the same.
“What did you do?” His voice shook with fear and guilt and shame. Gods, he felt so weak.
Her eyes, cold and distant, slid to his. “What you asked.”
“I didn’t ask you to…” This blood was on his hands - the blood of his child.
The word that had haunted him for more than a year - the word that had nearly led to the death of every person he ever loved - echoed in his mind.
Kinslayer.
Killer of his nephew. His uncle. His child.
Aemond looked back into the corridor, hoping to see the young midwife again. Had he not looked closely enough? Had she been carrying the body of his child within those bloody linens?
“I only wanted you to save my wife and son.” His words were a justification, a plea. It fell on the deaf ears of the gods and the dead child’s mother.
“And you thought there would be no cost?” Alys laughed, cruel and cackling. “No god in the world is so generous as to save a life and ask for nothing in exchange, boy.”
“I didn’t think – ”
“You never do.”
Grief morphed into anger. Reckless, aimless, dangerous rage. “You should have told me!”
“What would you have done?” She faced him fully now, her hand falling to her side. There was no trace of the woman who had once comforted and reassured him - who had kept him sane amidst the insanity of war. There was only annoyance and derision. It reminded Aemond of his dead half-sister and her bastard sons. “If I had told you?”
“I –”
“Would you have left your wife to die? Let her son die?” Alys’ lip curled in a hateful sneer. ��You could not choose between wife and son, yet you believe you could have chosen between two sons?”
The world stopped. Only Alys’ flickering fire and burning eyes remained.
“I… it was a boy?” Aemond leaned against the wall, sliding down to his knees, savoring the scrape of the rough stone against his back. He deserved every bit of pain. More.
Alys let a single hint of sorrow slip through her cold façade. “It was. Three sons within a year. What your father would have given to have had the same.”
The last thing Aemond wanted to do was to think about his father. The king who had nearly destroyed his throne by choosing one child over another.
Gods, was he any better?
Did his ignorance of his son’s sacrifice absolve him of blame? The guilt?
It certainly didn’t feel like it.
Alys sighed. “Better for his death to mean something than for his life to be spent destitute and fatherless.”
“I would not have allowed that to happen,” Aemond said. It was a reflex, a reassurance he’d grown used to giving since he learned he seeded a bastard.
“Wouldn’t you? Perhaps if my visions had not changed. But now…” She shook her head, more exasperated than sorrowful. Did she mourn the child at all? “No. You’d have wanted us as far away as possible and done anything you could to not think of us.”
“I would have ensured your comfort.” The words felt as hollow as his chest.
“Your wife would, yes.” Alys smiled fondly, just as she had when his ābrazȳrītsos sat across from her earlier that very day. She had never smiled that way for Aemond. Never truly cared for him. He should have known. “She is kind-hearted. But not you. Your resentment of me, of us, would have festered until you found some way to be rid of us.”
He wanted to deny it. To say that there was nothing that could drive him to do what she insinuated. Once, it would have been true. But now, with the man he’d become in the war and how close he’d come to losing his heart itself, it would be a lie.
If he had killed Alys along with the rest of her cursed family, would he have become this man? Would he have learned to cherish the metallic tang of blood and its warmth as it coated his hands? Would he have become so proficient a liar that false words rolled off his tongue like a Valyrian lullaby? Would he have grown so accustomed to violence that it now came as naturally to him as loving his wife?
Would he have broken his ābrazȳrītsos’s heart?
He’d trusted her visions. It had been a mistake.
One mistake that led to thousands more, and it was all her fault.
Alys was the one who lied, who deceived him. Who had pulled his strings as if he were no more than a puppet, knowing that he was married and his wife was lonely and infirm.
His failure as a husband. His wife’s pain. The death of his third son.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.
Aemond’s heart slowed, his breathing becoming deep and steady. No longer the heart of a broken boy or a desperate husband. Now, it was the blackened heart that had carried him through countless battles and raging rivers of blood.
“I will be rid of you now,” he hissed as he stood. “And I will be rid of you forever.”
The bitch had enough sense to look scared.
“In memory of the son you killed, I will allow you to live. But no more than that.” She didn’t even deserve that, this woman who did not mourn her own child. Perhaps it was good that the babe was gone, for surely he would have suffered with a witch as his mother.
He approached Alys, sneering down at her and the false bravery on her wicked face. “As Prince Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, I banish you from these lands forever. You have ten days to leave Westeros. After that, if you are ever seen here again…” He reached out and grabbed her by the throat, holding just tight enough to steal a bit of her breath - just enough to make her fight for it.
“I will kill you myself,” he promised. “Without hesitation or remorse, I will kill you. Slowly. And I will savor every moment, for it will bring me far greater pleasure than that withered cunt of yours ever did.”
She fell to her knees when he released her, clutching at her throat as she coughed and gulped for air. He didn’t care. He only turned on his heel and left, not sparing a single glance at the woman who had only hours ago been carrying his bastard child.
Only one woman mattered now, had ever truly mattered to him.
His ābrazȳrītsos was still asleep when he returned to their chamber, as were their sons. They had no idea where he had gone - that he had even left at all. No inkling of the fact that a moment ago, he had again become the man who wiped an entire bloodline from the earth, slaughtered tens of thousands, and delighted in the suffering he had wrought.
Now, as he leaned down to gently kiss his sons’ brows and muss their soft hair, he was a mere man of twenty, his heart bursting with love and affection for his family. How could a heart overflow with such love at the same moment it was fracturing with grief and regret?
It was a question far beyond him at that moment. Perhaps forever beyond his reach.
He was so tired. Too tired to consider the heartbreak that would come when he woke in the morning and his wife pulled out of his grasp. He could face that pain when it came. But now, he needed to feel whole, if only for a few hours.
So, Aemond climbed into bed with his wife, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her into his chest. He remained awake only long enough to kiss the top of her head and whisper, “Jāla tetan, ābrazȳrītsos. Īlon lentot selagon kosti.” It is over, ābrazȳrītsos. We can go home.
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She woke to the sound of Daeron fussing. Strange how quickly she was able to tell them apart, even just by their little noises of discontentment. Although, considering she had been with them every moment of the last seven - near eight - months, it may not be strange at all. Perhaps that was why she felt so sure that it had been Daeron who occupied the top of her belly, constantly pestering her with his tiny fists pounding against her at the most inopportune times.
“Hush, little prince,” a soft voice said. “You’ll wake up your mother, and after what you and your brother put her through, I dare say she needs her rest.” A maid was speaking to him, a slight, old woman leaning over his crib. She had not seen the maid before, and somehow, it comforted her.
Daeron continued to grumble. She moved to stand but found Aemond’s arms wrapped around her waist. Thankfully, he was still asleep. Quite deeply asleep, apparently, for when she untangled herself from him, he did not wake.
The maid curtsied when she saw the princess approaching and stepped away from Daeron’s cradle. His fussing had now roused Aenar, but the younger prince made no sound, only glaring at his brother in what seemed to be intense displeasure at his sleep being interrupted.
“Is something wrong with him?” she asked the old maid. Daeron quieted slightly upon seeing his mother but still fussed.
“Nothing to concern yourself with, princess.” The old maid had a kind, soothing voice - that of a wise grandmother. She looked at the babes with fondness and a hint of apology. “They are simply hungry.”
“Where is the wetnurse?” She immediately regretted asking. In her sleepy haze, she had forgotten that Alys was the wetnurse at Harrenhal. Why wasn’t she here? Did she even want Alys here? No, of course she didn’t. Had Aemond requested another be found so she would not have to see Alys again?
The old maid looked away, sighing. “I’m afraid she’s left us. No wonder why, poor thing lost her babe again. Such a shame. We all thought she’d had a miracle with this one. But not to worry, Maester Artos sent some men to find another girl from the closest village.” She shook her head and again leaned over Daeron’s crib. “You’ll be fed soon, darling prince, don’t you worry.”
Alys’ child - Aemond’s child - was dead?
It was a good thing, wasn’t it? There would be no bastard son of the new king, no living reminder of what he’d done. This was good news. She should be happy, shouldn’t she?
But she wanted to cry.
“Mother, forgive me,” the old maid looked horrified as she clutched her pendant of the Seven-Pointed Star. “I should not have said that, princess. Not when you’ve only just finished your own labors. Please, forgive me.”
She glanced at Aenar, now peacefully asleep once more. How close she had come to losing him. It had devastated her. Made her willing to forfeit her own life if only he could live. If she had lost him and had to live with that loss… it would have driven her mad.
“How…” she licked her lips. “How many children has she lost?”
The old maid dropped her pendant. “I do not know, exactly. Enough that we all stopped counting.”
Oh gods. She blinked to clear her eyes, wiping away an errant tear with her thumb. “You said she’s gone?”
“Yes, princess. She left in the night. Didn’t say where she was going, to my knowledge.”
It made no sense. If Aemond had struck a bargain with Alys to save her and Aenar’s lives, why would she leave? Had whatever he offered her not been enough to keep her in the place where she’d lost so many children?
Daeron cried again, his face reddened and wrinkled. He was so hungry, she could nearly feel it herself. She… she could feel it. When she looked down at herself, she saw two dark stains on her chemise right above her breasts. Her milk had finally come in, which meant -
“I can feed them.”
The old maid looked aghast. “Princess, there is no need - ”
“I want to do it.” She was their mother, why shouldn’t she be the one to feed them? It was her body that made them, that brought them into the world. It made sense that it would continue to care for them even now. “Can you show me how?”
It took a moment for the maid to close her mouth before she smiled gently. “I’ve raised nine children myself, princess. I think I know a few tricks.”
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The maid had gone by the time Aemond woke.
Daeron was still suckling at her left breast while Aenar had fallen asleep using the right as his pillow. She had not realized how heavy and uncomfortable they had felt until the boys had drunk from her, easing the pressure that she’d become accustomed to.
“You should not be doing that yourself,” Aemond muttered as he raised himself on an elbow. His eye darted from son to son, only ever glancing over her exposed breasts. Once, he loved to worship them, quite similarly to how his sons fed from her now. “Where is the wetnurse?”
Did he not know that Alys had left? Had no one told him of the death of his child?
No. Those were the faint remnants of tear tracks lining his cheeks, and there was a deep sadness in his eye that was not there when he held his sons for the first time. He knew. He knew, and he was grieving, though he was fighting to hide it. She still saw it.
Perhaps that was the real reason he never returned to King’s Landing during the war - he knew she would be able to see the guilt on his face.
“There is no other wetnurse,” she explained gently. “Alys left. They’re looking for another woman now.”
Aemond froze, his gaze growing distant. She could not decipher his expression. Rage? Guilt? Sorrow? Grief?
“I’m sorry, Aemond.” He frowned and shook his head, but she continued. “Truly, I am.”
“It’s better this way,” he whispered. He didn’t believe it. Neither did she.
He reached out to her. No, not to her, but to Aenar, gently stroking his hair. She allowed him to take the babe and hold him against his own chest.
Aenar opened his eyes and looked up at his father. Then, he smiled.
Aemond took in a deep breath. “That boy should never have existed,” he said, letting Aenar take hold of his thumb and mouth at it. “I already had what I needed. And wanted.”
So it was a boy. Another son. A brother for her own. Would he have had his father’s nose, as Daeron did? Or his stern brow, like Aenar? Gods, why did she care?
“You are allowed to mourn him. He was innocent. I bear him no ill will.” Bastard or no, a babe was a babe, blameless of his parents’ sins. Deep in her heart, she mourned him, as well.
Again, Aemond shook his head. “I cannot mourn what never should have been.” He turned his head to face her, face open and pleading. “And I am mourning too much already.”
“I am alive. Aenar is alive. There is nothing to mourn.”
“You know that is not what I mean, ābrazȳrītsos.”
She did. He mourned not for the loss of a life, but for the loss of their life. The life they should have shared, and would have, had Aemond not strayed. In truth, she mourned for it, too.
“I know.”
They sat in silence for a moment as Daeron finally finished feeding, stretching his little arms to push her breast away. She pulled her robe closed again to combat the chill.
Aemond raised a hand to help her. She flinched away. He winced in response.
“Ābrazȳrītsos, please.” His voice was already breaking, his eye watering. The sight should have tugged at her heart. His begging should have fanned the flames of her anger. But looking at him, she felt very little of anything, save a small seed of pity. “Alys is gone. My… the bastard is gone. Can we not return to the way we were? Pretend none of this ever happened? Can’t you forgive me at last?”
The answer came without hesitation.
“No, Aemond.”
Within her, there was no longer a grassland, barren with loneliness and despair. The never-ending field of raging fire had also vanished. In its place was a small, lush garden, safely contained within tall stone walls draped with flowers and a polished iron gate – locked firmly, but perhaps not sealed forever.
“I shall always be your sister, your blood, and the mother of your children.” Daeron cooed, as if he knew she was talking about him, and she could not help but smile down at him. “I will remain your wife in the eyes of gods and men. And when Aegon dies, I will be your faithful queen.”
Aemond shook as his breath quickened, failing to keep the heartbreak. “You will be a wonderful queen, ābrazȳrītsos. I know it.”
She pulled away, taking Aenar from him and into her empty arm. “But I will never again be your ābrazȳrītsos.” She forced herself to ignore the whimpering, broken cry that escaped him, the breath that carried it echoing like a death rattle. “I will not share your bed. And I will no longer allow you to hold my heart.”
Between desperate sobs, Aemond raised his head to face her. Utter devastation lay in his eye, but so too did acceptance. Anguished surrender. “My heart is and always shall be yours.”
I don’t want it, her mind told her, even as her heart cried, I will cherish it forever.
But her decision was made. In all but name, their marriage – their once legendary romance – was finished. A few fragments of love remained but would never be repaired. Could never be.
Slowly, she rose from the bed, her sons still in her arms. Aemond began to reach for her, but when she did not even acknowledge him, he covered his face with his hands and wept. Though it tugged at her heart, it was the same she would feel for any man weeping so, no longer the instinctive pull of a wife. She did not comfort him.
The soft, pitiful sounds of Aemond’s grief faded as she walked toward the eastern window, settling herself in the cushioned seat just beneath it.
Daeron smiled, watching the trembling branches of an oak tree dotted with the first tight green buds of the season. Aenar angled his head just so, until the sun warmed every bit of his fat, pink face, then promptly fell asleep. She sighed, taking in the sweet scent of spring on the wind, and realized she had not breathed so easily in months.
It was a lovely morning in Harrenhal.
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megalony · 4 months ago
Text
I'm Her Doctor
Okay, so this is my first time writing an AU fic for 911, Eddie Diaz, as requested by a lovely anon. I utterly loved writing this and I hope to do more like this soon.
(If anybody would be interested in a Doctor AU series for any of the 911 boys please let me know)
Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17
@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana
@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700
@ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii
Eddie Diaz Masterlist
Summary: When a tsunami strikes LA, Eddie pulls overtime at the hospital to care for as many patients as he can. Little does he realise that his wife will be one of his patients, and he won't let anyone else look after her but him. (AU, Eddie is a Doctor)
Enjoy.
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Eddie's nose crinkled at the smell of the coffee. Too strong. A splash of milk he didn't intend. A hint of tea curdling the mix. No amount of sugar in the world could make this bearable, but Eddie couldn't be bothered to buy another three cups from the decades old machine to get the perfect blend.
He didn't have time to run down to the cafeteria for a proper cup and all the machines on each ward were either old, broken or used the cheap blend Eddie would never touch outside of work.
He only drank the coffee from the machines when he was desperate and right now, with a twelve hour shift that was probably going to be extended, Eddie needed something to keep himself awake.
His lips curled down at the corners when he took a sip and a shudder rocked his body at the curdling taste.
With a sigh, he turned on his heels, dragged his free hand down his face and took a step away from the machine. His break would be over in a few minutes, he had to get back to his office.
His head snapped back and his shoulders barged into the machine, pushing the decrepit coffee maker into the beige wall loud enough to create an echo surging down the corridor. Eddie lifted his arms and hissed when the coffee spilled over his hands and dribbled through his fingers while he pushed himself back enough to be out the way of the gurney speeding down the corridor.
"Dios, Marcy, where's the fire?" Eddie's voice lowered a few tones and he rose a brow when he locked eyes with the familiar nurse who almost ran him over.
The gurney was empty- well, it was empty of a patient, at least.
There were over ten IV bags wobbling about on the mattress like bags of jelly that looked rather weak and ready to pop. Rolls of bandages, gauze, bottles of anticeptic, cotton swabs and packaged needles were littering the gurney that looked like it had robbed the supply cupboard.
The young nurse paused in her speeding attempt down the corridor. Sweat trickled across her forehead and down the side of her neck, causing a few loose strands of hair to stick to her skin. She puffed and leaned against the end of the gurney, letting her shoulders sag.
When she relaxed, Eddie realised how panicked and worn out she looked. She hadn't been on shift for more than five hours, she turned up way after Eddie clocked in for his shift.
"You mean the flood."
"Pardon?"
"Didn't you hear? The ER's been taken over, we're swamped down there. Everyone's being redirected."
"Why?"
Eddie hadn't heard anything, he had been in theatre for the last six hours of his shift. He had been removing an appendix, sorting out internal bleeding and stitching up a ten year old. He hadn't had time to bustle about and find out the latest gossip in the hospital. Before he went into surgery, everything had been as normal as ever.
Now though, he had encountered at least four nurses running around like headless chickens. Another two of his colleagues had been called to the ER over the tanoid and Eddie had barely seen anyone on the upper floors here. He thought it odd, but he had no idea something big was happening.
Marcy tilted her head at an angle and let out a shallow breath. She took a moment to swipe her hand across her temple before she looked back at the doctor stood beside her.
"There's- there's been a tsunami, high level. It took out the pier and all the coast, at least four miles inland."
"Jesus," Eddie dumped his cup in the bin beside him, shaking his hand free of coffee remnants before he dragged his hand down his chin.
A tsunami? In LA?
There had been no warnings or signs about this. No one had been on red alert or suspected anything. Usually they got a small warning, maybe an hour or less before the disasters happened, like with hurricanes or thunderstorms. The hospital had preparations and plans in place, they could usually get set up ready for a natural disaster if one were to occur.
"We've got people coming from all over, brought in on trucks, walk-ins, even the LAFD are out driving people to us. The ER is overspilling… I gotta get these supplies down there."
"Go, go." Eddie patted her shoulder and watched her give him a sympathetic smile before she resumed her high-speed charge towards the lift at the end.
Eddie's shift wasn't going to finish anytime soon.
How could he go home when they were getting people being brought in from all across the state? People were dying. People were crawling and dragging their families down to the nearest hospitals, wading through water and grime and busted cars and broken telephone wires. They were trying to get themselves to safety and thousands of people could be injured.
There was no way he could go home when people were being brought in on trucks, needing medical help.
He was a doctor. It was his duty to help people and save as many lives as possible. Eddie couldn't go home until the hospital had people on wards and they had helped every person that came in through their doors.
Rummaging his hand in his pocket, Eddie fished out his phone. He was surprised to find he still had some signal, a tsunami usually brought down the phone lines. They had to be far in land here to be unharmed.
He had to call (Y/n). If he wasn't going to be getting out of here anytime soon, he had to let (Y/n) know and make sure she and Chris didn't venture out far with this mess going on. The last thing he needed was his family getting stuck in a traffic jam or being caught up or swamped somewhere with the waves still lashing out and coming inland.
She didn't answer.
"Hey mi amor, I don't know when I'm gonna be home, there's some sort of tsunami happening and we're getting casualties left right and centre. I'll call you when I know more. I hope you and Chris are having a better time, amor. Stay safe."
With his phone in his pocket and his pager in his hand, Eddie looked through the two messages he got. They wanted him down in the ER. He was on standby for any emergency operations if any casualties came through.
Into the chaos.
The tails of his pristine white overcoat flapped behind his thighs as he jostled down the stairs towards the emergency room. There was no point waiting for the lift when others needed it more and Eddie could use the stairs.
He didn't like what he saw. People sat on the floor in the stairwell and the adjoining corridors. Sat on blankets. Holding gauze to major cuts, empty water bottles sat beside them. Water trickling down the stairs causing a major hazard. Two, three and four people sharing one oxygen tank between them, taking turns with the mask to try and keep each other from gasping like fish.
Were these people all walk-ins from the disaster? Were these patients that had been moved out of their rooms and wards to make way for more dire emergencies?
How many more people were going to be coming into the hospital? How many more people could they help before they were overflowing and had no space left?
Could they even turn people away? Eddie had never known them to turn anyone away, especially not in a disaster. But they were clearly reaching maximum capacity if people were sitting in stairwells and lying in corridors. They might have to turn people away, how could they help people if they had no space and were using up their extra resources?
The doors swung open when Eddie barged into the emergency room. He clipped his ID badge onto his waistband for easy access in case he had to go and grab more supplies. All the corridors were locked for safety, if the patients wanted through they had to be buzzed in and all staff had keycards.
"Darren, what have we got?"
"What haven't we got?" The nurse deadpanned, dropping his shoulders as he spun to face Eddie. He rose a brow when he realised what Eddie was wearing. He wasn't in his usual button up shirt or trousers. He was in pale turquoise scrubs and his usual bleached white overcoat. That was a giveaway that he had been in surgery.
"Alright, smart arse, who's shift lead down here?" Eddie's hands moved to his hips and he took a look around.
The emergency room had never been so compact.
Most of the curtains were pulled back with little privacy so they could push the beds closer together and squeeze more patients in. People were sitting on blankets on the floor. Others were lining the walls, sat, crouching and stood waiting to be seen by anyone available.
Some were wearing wristbands of different colours, red meant someone was in dire need of help, green were those who could wait and amber meant they would need attention soon.
Black was reserved for those who were either dead or not going to make it. It had been a long time since Eddie had seen the wristband system come into play.
"Jameston was pulled up to theatre, Macabee's been pulled somewhere else, we're just helping who we can."
"Fuck." Eddie's fingers scratched through his scrubs until he was sure he would have red indents in his skin and blood wheels bubbling up beneath his skin. If no one was on shift lead then people didn't have anyone to report to, that meant people would just help whoever they wanted or whoever was closest. They needed a system.
If no one was going to take charge then Eddie would take that role himself. People could listen to him or get out the emergency room.
"Alright, listen up." He made his way over to the circular reception desk in the middle of the room. "If you don't have a wristband, come get one. Green bands in that corner, amber over here. If you have red then someone will come and move you towards the back."
Coloured bands were there for a reason, people were meant to be segregated into their groups, not compiled together like this. Eddie pointed for where he wanted them to go and waved his hands towards the back for all the red patients to be escorted over. The back was closest to the equipment and near the lifts for easy transfer.
"You three, go to red I want four nurses in the red corner at all times, do not leave those patients. Johnson, you're in charge or those three, deal with amber and get them onto a different floor. The rest of you sort out the greens, anyone who can be stitched up and sent out needs to go. We aren't a cafe we are here for serious injuries."
Eddie could see the funny looks he was getting, but no one dared argue with him. He was putting himself in charge and they needed to agree or go to a different ward for different orders.
This was a hospital. Anyone who had minor injuries needed to be given paracetamol, checked for cuts and sent home. They could get antibiotics from their GP and they could get seen by a pharmacist for any minor complications. They had no room, no space and no time to deal with anyone who wasn't in critical condition.
"We've been separated, w-we need to find out families-"
"Ma'am, I completely understand that, but you can't do that here."
"We need to see if our families have been admitted!" An angry father, or, Eddie presumed he was a father by his stance and his panicked temper, stomped his foot on the floor.
He wanted to find his loved ones. He had a few injuries that weren't life-threatening. He wanted to find his family and he couldn't leave the hospital if he wanted to do that.
He looked Eddie up and down when the doctor advanced over to him with a calm expression and his hands at his sides.
"Look around," Eddie's voice was gentle but his words were oddly firm. "We aren't taking names at the moment, we treat people, we get them onto a ward or on their way. We don't get names until they are safely in a bed or about to leave. In here, we have no way of knowing if your family have arrived, have been transferred or are in theatre."
They couldn't take names straight away. Some people weren't in any fit state to give their names or ask about their families. Their job as doctors was to patch people up and get them safely into theatre or onto a ward.
"If you go out into the gardens, the emergency services will set up tents and take names. They will help you find your family, but I can't have you taking up time and resources in here if you are fit and able to wait outside. Please."
It sounded harsh, but this was an emergency like no other. Eddie had no space for people to sit here and people-watch, waiting for their families to come in or to hear any news they were desperately seeking.
The emergency services and some of the hospital reception staff would already be setting up tents outside. They took names and cross-referenced against those who had been able to give their names on arrival. They checked for people on wards, people in the morgue and those who were dead but yet to be identified.
Once the man nodded, Eddie pointed at someone to check them over and guide the group of people out who had green wristbands.
He turned to face the reception desk, taking deep breaths to try and calm down the tremors that were rattling through him. But his brows furrowed and he sighed when he looked at the desk. Papers were scattered everywhere. Some were drenched in water from the patients who came in, scrambling for help at the desk. Others were scribbled so hastily that Eddie couldn't make head nor tail of the words.
"Janice, what is going on here?" His hands fumbled around, motioning to all the paperwork.
"I've had over two hundred people to sign in and send upstairs-"
"How do you know which ones are which?"
Her lack of reply had Eddie running his hands over his face with a deep, grumble that racked his chest and had his jaw locking in place. Could no one organise in this mess? Had they all forgotten how to cope in a disaster? It had only been a year since the Earthquake and Eddie had worked three days straight during that period.
They had a great system during that disaster, did everyone just forget how to cope and how to function in times like these?
"Dios, we can't work like this-"
"What do you want me to do? Doctor?" She added on quietly at the end, looking down to her hands when she realised she might just be speaking a bit out of term to a senior doctor.
"I want you to organise this desk. Forget about filing the paperwork, okay? Blank paper is what you need. Get people to write their names down if they can, one page for green, one for amber, one for red. Keep them in piles, then we know where people are when we have to log into the system after everyone's sorted. Get rid of this shit, start over."
Eddie's abdomen dug into the desk while he grabbed a large stack of paperwork and tossed it behind the desk onto the floor.
Forms were no good in an emergency, things needed to be plain and simple. Names, where they were being sent, that was all they needed right now. No insurance forms, no past discharge notes, just the main details. Names, dates of birth, allergies, that was it.
When Janice nodded, Eddie spun on his heels and looked around. Everyone was listening to him, people were more organised and it meant the nurses fluttering around here were helping the right people and they weren't stuck like headless chickens.
"If you just sit down here-"
"If he's amber sit on the left, if he's red move to the right but not in front of the bloody doors please." Eddie snapped, pointing across at the young nurse who was just about to sit an elderly man in front of the back doors that led off to the X-ray corridor.
Did people not use their brains? Where they all shutting down and waiting for Eddie to take charge? Was he going to have to order them all around and do their jobs for them? They couldn't sit someone in front of the doors because if they swung open that poor man would be knocked flying and he would be in a worse shape than when he arrived.
He could see the nurse bite down on her lip as if she might start crying and it made Eddie's heart spasm. But she held herself together. She put on a shallow smile and helped shuffle the man to the left and sit him down next to a cot bed with a young woman on.
"Doctor Diaz?" A timid voice broke Eddie out of his thoughts and had him spinning on his heels.
A young nurse. She couldn't have been more than twenty-five, maybe younger, he wasn't sure. Both her hands were clasped together in front of her and her fingers were scratching at the back of her hands. Her arms were shaking, elbows were pinned into her waist and her shoulders were hunched and pulled forwards.
She looked like she needed medical help with how anxious she was and Eddie wasn't sure if she was about to be sick or not. Tears were in her eyes and she was breathing shallow.
"Yes?" His tone was softer than before and he tried to smile to calm her down but it didn't seem to work.
"What- um, what do we do with the bodies?"
Her words stunned Eddie and he took a cautious look around. He had seen people looking like they were on Death's door, but no one seemed to have passed away yet. But when the nurse shakily pointed over her shoulder, Eddie saw.
He saw the body of a teenager, just a few years older than his own son. Not breathing. Not moving. Laid languidly on a cot bed as if he was passed out.
Eddie ran a hand across his face and took a strangled breath through his fingers.
He could feel his hands about to tremble with the adrenaline shooting through his system. He reached out, tensing his fingers to keep his hand from shaking and he gave her shoulder a squeeze before he spun to face the reception desk.
His nimble fingers scoured through the paperwork behind the desk until he found what he was looking for.
A black lanyard. A rectangle piece of paper, as black as night and as scratchy as hay. There were white lines for a name to be written across and a time, date and cause of death.
"Johnston! Gurney." Eddie waved the nurse over and walked the younger nurse back towards the patient. He handed her the lanyard. "Do we have a name?"
She shook her head.
"Then take him towards X-ray, out the side doors and into the foyer… he needs to be laid with the unidentified and recorded."
Eddie didn't want her taking the teen out through the ER doors. People were still coming in. No one deserved or needed to see a dead body being wheeled out, it would cause panic and it wasn't respectful. If they had a name then he could have been taken to the morgue. Without a name, he had to be laid in the tent with the other unidentified and the easiest way to get there without alarming people was through the X-ray corridor.
This was going to be a long day, and it had only just begun.
***
"We're nearly there, you just hang on for me, okay?" Tremors rattled through Buck's voice and gave away the sheer desperation welling up inside of him.
He continued to push the gurney with his right hand while his left hand deadlocked around his sister's palm. He could feel her hand, a mixture of sweat and salt water dribbling between their fingers, squeezing his tightly. And her nails that were split and had layers of mud stuck beneath them were scratching into the back of his hand. Holding tightly to let him know she was still hanging on, just like he asked.
The emergency room doors parted easily and allowed the 118 to glide straight through, but Buck's voice boomed over the rest of the sounds like a siren, demanding to be heard.
"Diaz! Where's Doctor Diaz?"
"Sir, we're very-"
"Get me Doctor Diaz now!" Buck all but slammed his foot down on the glistening tiled floor that was littered with smudges of blood, dirt and puddles of salt water that was as brown as milk chocolate.
He needed his brother in law. He needed Eddie. (Y/n) needed a doctor and the only one she needed right now was her husband.
Eddie spun on his heels, pen light clasped between his teeth and stethoscope hung around his neck. He looked over his shoulder, hands paused in mid air as he crouched in front of a young boy he was trying to assess.
It wasn't enough to direct people in the ER and try to create a system, Eddie was still a doctor and until he was called up to surgery, he had to assess people down here. He had to do his fair share, or more than his fair share when no one here seemed to be able to do their jobs properly. Eddie had assessed patients, sent them to X-ray, sent others to an MRI.
He had done CPR on an elderly woman, a tracheotomy on a middle-aged man choking on what he had inhaled during the floods. And he had the harsh job of sending another three people to the unidentified tent out in the foyer when they passed away.
But he knew that voice.
He knew that loud, sometimes obnoxious, but mostly caring voice that had risen an octave and sounded as distressed as Eddie had ever heard him.
Buck. His brother in law. Eddie thought his brother in law would be working today, this was an emergency and he knew Buck was all for helping anyone he could. But Eddie hadn't thought he would see Buck today, he thought their jobs would keep them separate and he would see him in a few days to talk and go over what had gone on today.
"Buck?" Paranoia flooded Eddie's voice as he narrowed his eyes and looked around the emergency room.
He found Buck easily. That sandy blond hair, damp and curled to the max. Those broad shoulders, towering over everyone else within reach. Those ocean blue eyes that held so much pain and panic within them that it physically made Eddie feel sick.
"Buck, what are you…"
(Y/n).
His wife. There she was. Not safely tucked up at home. Not at home snuggled up with Chris watching a movie or listening intently to the news.
She was laid on the gurney, looking worse for wear and clinging to her brother's hand.
What had happened?
"No, no no!" The pen light dropped to his feet, his hands began to shake and his shoes clicked against the floor as he skidded over towards his wife.
He didn't know the other people gathered round the gurney, but it didn't take much to work out that they had to be Buck's team who he worked with. There were three of them, to be exact, all gathered round the gurney like they were waiting for a premonition to take place.
The moment he reached the gurney, Eddie was stooping over. His trembling hands cupped (Y/n)'s face that was damp, although he couldn't tell whether it was sweat or sea water. His thumbs glided over her cheeks that were a mix of hot and cold all together, all at once. He creased his abdomen to double over the gurney and his elbows pinned into (Y/n)'s arms.
She shakily let go of her brother's hand and tried to open her eyes. They were still burning like the fires of Hell from all the water. She could barely breathe. She couldn't see properly. Eddie's figure looming over her was almost as if she was seeing an angel, guiding her to the afterlife.
A halo of light surrounded Eddie's frame, but (Y/n) just managed to make out the creases around his eyes, the bridge of his nose and those ruby red lips that were barely touching her own.
"Mi amor," Eddie didn't trust himself to speak properly and he couldn't drag his eyes away from his wife.
He pecked her lips, feeling just how frozen cold they felt against his own and it made him cringe. His thumbs continued to glide across her cheeks while he tilted his head to the right and looked up at his brother in law.
"Eddie," (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and each breath she took hitched higher than the last, but the look in her eyes had Eddie's heart breaking. She was relieved. She was staring at him like she had taken a long pilgrimage and had finally found safety and sanctuary with him.
She knew she was safe now.
"What happened- w-where's Chris?"
"We found them clinging on top of a swamped fire truck. Chris is in our truck, h-he's fine I swear. But you need to help her."
A small ounce of relief dwelled in Eddie's stomach. His son was safe. Chris was patched up and clearly didn't need any medical attention like (Y/n) did. They had found both of them and managed to get them out of the wreckage. (Y/n) had been saved by her brother and his team. She had managed to stay with Chris and not get separated, at least, not for very long. They had both been found.
"Let me look at you, mi amor." He hushed quietly and pecked her lips again before he reeled up enough to assess her.
His hands wandered up and down, checking for any deep abrasions or broken bones or anything that didn't seem right.
Both (Y/n)'s arms were pinned to her chest, but she deadlocked her hands around Eddie's arm. Tears flushed her face, sniffles and gasps left her split lips and she was trembling back and forth. Her knees were lifted up like she was trying to curl up and get into the fetal position to make herself feel better.
Eddie could see hundreds of cuts littering her arms and her exposed chest. Her shirt had been cut down the middle, presumably so they could assess her chest and there was a cut just under her fifth rib. It didn't look extensive, but it would need stitches.
When he tried to press down on her abdomen, (Y/n)'s knees jolted up and a mewling sob left her lips. Her head tilted back into the gurney, pushing her throat out and she gurgled through each breath.
"Hurts!"
"Shh, sorry baby, I'm sorry. Let me see, please." He gently moved her arms away so he could assess again but when he pressed down on the right side of her abdomen just above her hip, she coiled inwards again. "Intestine's ruptured. Shit."
"I'll go sit with Chris." Chimney patted Buck's shoulder before he jogged out, they didn't want to leave Chris sat on his own for too long.
"Her breathing's very laboured and mismatched." Hen had tried to assess (Y/n)'s chest, but she was still breathing. Every now and then she would cough or take five sharp, thin breaths all at once. She couldn't hear any water in her lungs and she was still breathing so that couldn't be the case.
Eddie swiped the stethoscope from his neck and pressed them to his ears. He let (Y/n) smother her face against his right arm while he leaned over her and pressed the stethoscope against her back to listen to her lungs.
But he suddenly felt (Y/n)'s forehead slamming into his arm and her fingers scraped through his jacket sleeves, digging into his arm so tightly she was cutting off his circulation.
He dropped the stethoscope and reached forward, taking the small torch light from Hen's top pocket before she could ask what he was doing.
He twisted (Y/n) so she was laying on her left side, facing him as he crouched down in front of the gurney.
"Open. Open up."
Eddie shone the light in her mouth and squinted to try and see if there was any obstruction.
(Y/n) clasped her fingers around his wrist, closing her eyes tightly as she started to shake. Something didn't feel right. Her chest felt constricted, her lungs weren't opening up and taking proper breaths anymore. She felt like she was going to be sick.
She could feel someone's hand at the back of her neck and when she started to cough, her body shuddered and she jerked her legs out when Eddie's hand moved to her mouth.
"I'm sorry- baby just keep breathing it's okay." Eddie grimaced as water spluttered past (Y/n)'s lips and dripped down onto the floor. He pushed his fingers past her lips towards the back of her throat, hating the way she squirmed and tried to push him away, but he could see she was choking on something.
Buck wrapped an arm around his front and gagged, turning his head away when he watched Eddie slowly pull a long stream of either seaweed or some sort of tangled up plant from (Y/n)'s lips. She must have inhaled it during the struggle when the first wave hit. She didn't even know she had inhaled that into her lungs.
Eddie tossed the seaweed onto the floor by his feet, shaking his hand, relieved he was wearing gloves for doing that.
"Janice!" He tossed his head to look over his shoulder at the receptionist who was dumbstruck, unsure what to do. "Find me an OR and a surgical team. Ruptured intestine, I need to operate now."
"Um… theatre four, floor two should be free."
"Someone bring Chris."
Eddie reeled up back to his full height, grabbed the edge of the stretcher and began steering them towards the back corridor through the middle of the ER. Chris could come up, he could wait in Eddie's office where Buck could wait with him once (Y/n) was in theatre and being looked after.
This was his worst nightmare. This was something Eddie had always been fearful of. Having his wife and son caught up in something horrid like this. He had been extremely lucky last year that Chris had been safe at school and (Y/n) had been at home when the Earthquake hit. Both of them had been out the way and in no danger.
Not like today. They had been caught up in this natural disaster and now Eddie had to operate on his wife. He had never done this before. He had stitched (Y/n) up at home a few times, but he had never had to operate on her or have her need any type of hospitalisation like this.
He wasn't supposed to operate on family members. It was too dangerous in case something happened or she died or Eddie made a mistake. But this was an emergency. All their staff had been redirected, no one was where they were supposed to be. Any doctor was being diverted to any theatre, operating room, ward and scan that they could to observe and help and intervene.
Eddie didn't have time to wait around for another colleague to come over and operate on (Y/n). He had done this procedure hundreds of times before and he wasn't going to trust anyone else to look after his wife the way he would.
"E-Eddie," (Y/n) gave a soft tug on Eddie's hand that she had confiscated and pinned against her chest. She could barely open her eyes to look up at him, but she was relieved when he leaned down and kissed her temple.
She managed to focus enough to watch him scan his badge against the doors and guide them out of the emergency room and into a more secluded corridor with less casualties around ever corner.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Don't l…leave me."
"I'm not going anywhere without you, mi amor." He kissed the back of her hand before the three of them crammed into the lift.
Bobby was hanging back with Hen, waiting for Chimney to come out with Chris so they could catch them up. The team weren't leaving, they would wait and stay with Buck so they could comfort him and wait on any news of his little sister. It had been a stroke of luck that they had found (Y/n) rather than any other team. Buck had made it his mission to look after his sister and he told them exactly which hospital to go to, although none of them had known why Buck was fixated on this hospital. Until they saw Eddie.
Once they were up on the second floor, Eddie flagged down a passing nurse before he turned to face Buck.
"My office is around that corner, second door on the left. I'll find you as soon as it's done." He unclipped his keycard from his scrubs and handed it over. Buck was welcome to wait in his office, Chris had been in there hundreds of times before so he would know where to go and he would be okay there. Chris had a few of his books in the office to occupy him.
Once Buck headed back into the lift so he could go find the rest of the team, Eddie began his descent down the corridor, pushing the gurney single-handed.
"Okay, reception said we have an emergency?" Cranston placed his hands on his hips and stood outside the empty operating room he had been told to get scrubbed up for another surgery.
But once his eyes landed on the girl on the stretcher, his hands fell at his sides and he shook his head. (Y/n). He had seen her here many times when she came to visit Eddie or when she brought Chris down for a visit. Eddie couldn't be here for this. He couldn't be the leading surgeon, he wasn't allowed.
"No, Diaz you can't-"
"No one else is touching my wife. I'm her doctor now, got it?"
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anundyingfidelity · 7 months ago
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heyy, how are youu? hope youre doing great!! congratss on your 400 followers 🎉!! i saw that you open a request maybe you would write a drabble for dark!soldier boy since theres not much dark fics about him and ive been craving it so badly. please and thank youu!! 💓💓
hellooo, i am doing good! thANK YOU SO MUCH! absoutely i will! since there's no specific details i just went with it for a dark!soldier boy drabble with a mix of stuff. i hope you like this one! :)
event guidelines ✮ event masterlist ✮
☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !
CRUEL INTENTIONS — Dark!Soldier Boy x female reader
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Word count: 590 (oops).
Genre: dark stuff, smut.
Warnings: dark!soldier boy, dub-con, p in v smut, mentions of pain, dacryphilia, innocent!reader, corruption, degradation, soldier boy is obsessed with reader.
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Since the first time he saw you around the Vought building, Soldier Boy knew he had to have you. No matter what. Having you under his mercy was his ultimate goal.
You were a new secretary around. So innocent, so pure, and full of life and joy, getting into the supe business making boring tasks and jobs designated to women like you. But Soldier Boy saw you enjoying all of that. You always arrived early to work, with a smile that would brighten the day of any idiot by your side. Your laugh was sweet and perfectly created to be ruined, only by him. To your lovely voice to be converted into pleas and cries.
After days of not so subtly hitting on you, playing the nice gentleman, he had you under his skin using lies and a couple of threats. Soldier Boy remembered the way you accepted his invitation to his annual ‘private party’ without specifying any further details. The party that was Herogasm. And now, he fucked you into oblivion over a rustic wood desk, taking in the tightness of your cunt around his dick and the sinful moans slipping from your sore throat. His eyes taking in the sinful sight of his cock entering your tight pussy, walls clenching around him yet again as you reached your peak. Soldier Boy already lost count of how many times he had made you cum.
“Fuck, you’re so good for me,” he hissed. His thrusts never stopped, instead increased their rhythm. “Look how much you’ve come because of my cock. Am I that good, my little slut?”
You looked away, shutting your eyes closed as you felt another orgasm building inside you, pleading with a broken voice. “Please, please…”
The tears were already coating your flushed face, ashamed of what was happening and not sure if it was right. He was just using you. But at the same time, you wanted more of him. Soldier Boy already bent you over every surface of the room, ripping orgasm after orgasm from you, handling you like if you were just a mere ragdoll for him to play with as much as he wanted, taking you apart from the whole orgy that was showing outside. He was fucking insatiable, barely getting rid of his helmet and just taking out his hard cock to fuck your mouth and then get buried inside your tight cunt. At first, you weren’t sure about letting him fuck his way with you, but his voice and promises of pleasure were more than sufficient to somehow give in.
“Jesus Christ, your pussy feels like heaven,” he breathed, increasing the tightness of his grip on your hips.
Even if your thighs felt like burning, that your whole body was under ache due to the hard grips on you, you needed him. And he was going to make you his little plaything. He smirked as you, one more time, dissolved into the sweet and painful pleasure of cuming around his girth, letting out a sinful moan that mingled with the animalistic sounds of women and men fucking like beasts outside the room. He hissed with anticipation, his lustful eyes lingering over your teary face as he slowed down his thrusts. Fuck, he wanted nothing more but to make you cry harder.
“Sweetheart, I still need to cum,” he purred, wiping the tears rolling down your skin.
You sobbed, catching your breath. “I’m tired.”
 “Just a couple more rounds, you’ll do it, baby.”
Soldier Boy was being kind to you. Next time he wouldn’t go that easy.
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hellodropbear · 5 months ago
Text
like she used to (IV)
alexia putellas x sister
chapter I, II, III
sorry this took longer! have been very busy with work and uni for the past few days :)
~~~~~~
Aitana has been suspicious of something all week. I feel her eyes on me during training, when we're in the locker room, as she drives me home and as I walk up to my front door.
But she doesn't say anything and I am grateful. Because if she did say something, I don't think I would be able to answer without telling her every single thing on my mind.
Nobody wants that. Not me, not Aitana. Probably not Alexia either.
So instead, I sit in the midfielder's car quietly, only speaking when she prompts me to, although even that has slowed down over the past few days. She was confused the first time I told her I didn't want to stop for ice cream, and I was grateful that she didn't ask again.
"you're sure? You've never refused ice cream before, lena!"
All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead.
I get home and I go straight to my room which is easy enough, considering Mami comes home from work late. I am supposed to be going to school, but Aitana doesn't know that and Mami doesn't know any different. She thinks I am there, and as long as I pick up the phone to my personal tutor in the evening, the school won't bother contacting my mother.
I shouldn't be skipping school, but I can't face going there and being asked all those questions about how great it is to be training in the first team, to finally have broken through into a squad that I would hopefully play with for most of my career.
But it isn't great, not really. My life has become a game of hide and seek, escaping rooms that my sister enters, too afraid to even face her.
I am not scared of her, more of what she will say. I am barely coping as it is and anything she says will just make it worse. It is best to just leave her alone, keep my distance.
And I think she thinks the same. She said she was going to take a step back, after all.
Not that is has been any different from before she took that step back. Her back was already against the wall, on the other side of the room from me. Any further and she would leave my life completely which does not seem possible, considering we play for the same club.
But I wish she wasn't so far away, I wish that I could just reach out and grab her attention, for her to know that I needed help without even having to ask.
And it hurts me, more than I'd like to admit, that her friends know exactly how to make me feel better, to make me feel valued, worthy. But she is just there, like a fly on the wall, always watching but never doing anything.
Even the more clueless ones have started to realise that things are not perfect between me and Alexia. We are never in the same room together, I leave training with Aitana every day. It is obvious, we all know it.
So they don't push us together. They don't talk about Alexia to me and they don't ask why we don't drive home together, why she isn't the first person to give me a hug if I score in training.
They don't want me to be compared to her any more than I already have been.
Because on top of all the personal issues, there is a lot of pressure, being her sister.
'Will Elena Putellas follow in her sister's footsteps?'
'The younger Putellas - set to be better than Alexia Putellas, but still hasn't come off the Barcelona bench.'
I've seen the articles, of course I have. Nobody ever mentions it though, nobody mentions the pressure I am under, the pressure I feel to live up to the expectations.
Of course I will not score as many goals as her, of course I will not make a debut at the end of the match like a midfielder often does. It is a lot harder for a centre back to come on as a last minute sub. It is harder for a centre back to score so many goals.
There are feasible reasons why they are saying these things, but none of the news sites think to explore those reasons, exclusively focusing on the negatives.
I don't bring it up because I think that if I mention something even slightly about my emotions, every single thing I feel will all come rushing out, a tsunami wave that will destroy everything I have worked towards.
I have to be strong; I can't let a little bit of pressure overcome me. Alexia had pressure, and she was never swallowed by it.
Alexia was not weak. I can not be weak.
But it feels like the tide has been pulled back, brewing in the deep dark depths of the ocean, preparing to build and build and build until it all becomes too much, until it is here, a huge wave ready to swallow me. Too late to escape, too late to stop it.
But quelling the wave does not seem like something I can do.
The only thing I can do about it is play my piano.
It is thing I am most grateful for, my piano that brings me closer to my father, the one thing I have that nobody else does.
I may not have his memories, but I don't think any memories could match the connection I feel, just sitting on his stool, my fingers dancing on the keys that his hands once graced, the keys that we used to play together.
It was the one thing that we shared, just the two of us. Something that neither of my sisters or my Mami could understand. All they know is to leave me be when I am playing the piano. I don't want to be interrupted and they don't want to face the wrath of my anger if I am stopped before I am finished.
Because it is the only way I can express my emotions and the emotions do not stop coming until the song is finished, until there is a puddle of tears in my lap, fed by the streams that track down my cheeks.
So they leave me be. I want them to leave me with my emotions when I play the piano. But they also leave me with my emotions when I sit in the lounge room, staring at a blank tv screen, staring out the window at just about nothing in particular. I wish they would realise that I don't always want to be left with my emotions.
I wish they could notice that something may be wrong, something more than just the loss of my sister.
Because it feels like more than that. I have never felt so lost in my life.
There is just so much going through my mind at any one time and I can't let it out because once I start I will not be able to stop until my walls have burst and I am nothing but an empty shell of who I was before.
Everything I once was is gone.
Replaced by confusion, hurt, sadness.
And I don't know why, because Alexia isn't all of me, football isn't all of me.
I know it shouldn't be but it feels like it is and even though Alba is right there as well, and Mami and my friends from La Masia, all I can think of is the fact that my older sister doesn't want to be my older sister any more.
And I can't stop thinking about what it could be like, if it was still what it used to be.
~~~~~~
I spend another two weeks wallowing in my confusingly overwhelming emotions before Mapi decides to intervene, intercepting me as I walk towards Aitana after training once again.
"No, you are coming with me today, pequena!"
I didn't even realise Mapi was here, her rehab finishes at the same time as Alexia, an hour before training ends.
She beams and throws her arm over my shoulder, ignoring my disgruntled expression.
"I will see you tomorrow, ABC." I murmer softly, but both Spaniards can hear it.
They both think I am too short to see the concerned look they throw at each other, but I notice it. I notice everything.
Mapi guides me out of the facilities and into her car and I can feel her concern grow as she inspects me from the drivers seat.
"You are not ok, Elena."
Her words are soft but understanding. It surprises me how she could just pick it up like that, I thought it was less obvious.
I thought it was less obvious because nobody has brought it up to me before.
I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything without crying, although at this point it feels inevitable.
"That's ok. It's ok to not be ok, you know?"
I nod and she continues.
"When you came over the other week, I told you to talk to someone, but I don't think you have, have you?"
I continue my vow of silence by shaking my head, my eyes concentrated on how my hands shake and fidget in my lap.
I am too concentrated on my hands to realise that my eyes have filled with tears, to realise that the first one has slipped out. I only notice when the fat tear lands with a splat on my thumb and I stare at it, my mind full of confusion and unfamiliarity.
I don't understand how I feel, because I feel sad, and angry. They are normal emotions, ones that I have always felt, just usually in a less aggressive and persistent way.
But I feel so... lost, isolated. I feel alone and that is something I am not familiar with, not at all. Usually, I would talk to Alexia about my anger and sadness, but this has been going on for so long, slowly chipping away at my self-confidence, at my happiness. Now all I can feel is the loss of someone. Someone so important.
I may be dramatic, but how else would I describe it? She decided she was too busy and threw me away, a piece of rubbish. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that it's all I am to Alexia?
We used to be so strong as a family, we were always there for each other, nobody left behind. But I can't help but feel like I have been, just a bit.
Mami and Alba love me, Mami and Alba are proud of me. But Mami gets home after I go to bed and Alba has her own life, her own friends. She doesn't need to be pulled back by her little sister who has lost the ability to deal with her own emotions.
It would not be fair for me to pile my problems with Alexia onto Alba. It would not be fair to make her pick a side.
Alexia could be the person that helps me. We have similar schedules, interests, personalities. She knew me like the back of her hand and I knew her equally as well. But I don't think I have ever felt so disconnected from her.
Mapi snaps me out of my daydreaming when she speaks again.
"It is not healthy to keep everything inside of you, pequena, so we are going to the beach and we are talking. I am going to force it out of you because I miss my bright little best friend."
She reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, awkwardly pulling me into a hug.
"Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok, Elena Putellas, because you have me."
I nod, leaning back into my chair and using my palms to wipe my eyes as Mapi turns the car on and begins to drive out of the carpark.
"Thank you, Mapi." It is a whisper, but she hears me loud and clear, offering me a watery smile before focusing her attention right back onto the road ahead.
The car is quiet as we drive to the beach, Mapi just humming along to her song.
Mapi has always been a big talker. She always says she finds silences uncomfortable and sometimes even slightly overwhelming, so she talks. She talks and talks at a speed that makes it practically impossible to register what she is saying, and the inability to comprehend her spoken thoughts is only heightened by the way she jumps from topic to topic, her voice only increasing in speed and excitement as she gets more and more carried away.
But she is Mapi, and Mapi always talks, so I got used to it, finding her chattiness endearing, she was fun, always happy.
Which is why it is so meaningful when she isn't speaking, like she knows that her words are fruitless and likely not particularly tasteful - they won't be received well.
She is silent as we walk down to the beach and as she lays her rug and pillows out, sitting down and motioning for me to sit down next to her.
She is quiet for a few moments, like she is debating within herself on what she should say and when she should say it, captivated by the way he waves crash onto the sand cyclically, the beaming rays of sun showering the crystal water, the first indicators of the imminent sunset.
When she speaks, it is slow and it is quiet. Her words hug me in a way that has been missed for so long, and I immediately soften; she would have noticed my shoulders relaxing underneath her arm.
"I remember when I first met you." Her eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on her face. "It was before I even joined Barcelona, at my third camp with Spain. I had heard about you before, from Alexia, I knew so much about you from how much she would gush about everything you did every time I spoke to her. In person, over text, she was obsessed with you and sometimes I didn't understand why it seemed like all she spoke about was her little 5 year old sister."
She chuckles, but I stay silent, still staring out at the ocean.
"But then I met you and I immediately understood why she wouldn't stop talking about you. You radiated this happiness, like a little sunbeam. Alexia got you from the barricade after a match, it was only my second ever appearance, but Alexia brought you right over to me and introduced us. You grabbed onto my leg and held it, almost yelling about how cool it was that there was another player to meet."
I smile. I have never heard this story before.
"And then the next time, you recognised me and I was so surprised, so happy. But you were also happy, Elena, you always were smiling, laughing. You would hang from your sisters shoulders and whack her on the back, swinging around in her arms and laughing so loudly that we could hear you from the other side of the pitch. You were always like that, every time I saw you. I found myself looking forward to spain camps even more, because I got to see little Elena Putellas with her big smile and cheeky personality. But recently, I think you have lost a bit of your spark because you do not seem as happy. You seem miserable, lena, and I want to help you find that spark again because I promise, it is not gone forever. It has just been buried so deep by all these emotions that are so big and overwhelming and you can't even find who you are anymore."
Her words strike a cord, and I find that my eyes fill with tears once more, but I do everything I do to hold them back as I speak. There is a long moment of silence as we both look out at the waves before I break it with a quiet inhalation.
"I am so scared, Mapi." My voice breaks but I continue anyway. "I don't know who I am anymore and it is so scary. I don't know what happened or where I went but one day I woke up and I was just a miserable shell of the person I was and I don't know what to do."
She is quick to pull me into a hug as the tears start falling because we both know that once I let out the first cry, I will not be able to stop. Her soft hands through my hair and calm words that flow through the small space we occupy will do nothing to calm the turmoil I am feeling on the inside.
Thinking about it only makes it worse, like I am shaking everything up so it rises to the surface instead of letting it lay undisturbed deep inside of me.
But Mapi's words were like stepping into a turbulent plane, shaking uncontrollably, fear falling over me and triggering emotions that I didn't even realise I had inside of me. The dirt hazes up the water until everything is a big whirlwind of confusion. Emotions moving around to quickly to capture them and try to understand them.
The things I want caught up in the whirlwind of unwelcome mess, the whirlwind that I can't seem to get myself out of.
The injured centre back whispers calm words of affirmation into my ear for a while, her hand stroking up and down my back. It keeps me down to earth, does not let me fall into the trap of a million emotions.
"We will find who you are again, Elena. I will always be here to help you. I am right here."
I want to tell her that I want my sisters to be there to help me. I want Alexia to come back and I want Alba to realise that there is something wrong. But neither of them were there like Mapi is. Alba has tried to be there for me, but she doesn't get it because I don't know what to say.
But all I do is cry in her arms. The sobs soften into quiet whimpers as the sun sets, casting a yellow glow over the beach, but we stay there even as the air becomes cooler and the sky becomes darker.
Mapi decides that I will not be going home that night, not trusting me to take proper care of herself and instead taking me back to her apartment again.
Ingrid is there this time, and she looks at her girlfriend with concern when we walk in, immediately noticing my red face and puffy eyes.
"Hey, Elena." She smiled at me, but I was preoccupied by the little black cat that had begun to circle my legs.
"We had a chat on the beach and decided that because her Mami isn't home, she would stay here the night again."
I picked up Bagheera, tickling under her chin as I sat down on the sofa, trying to ignore the wary glances that were being sent in my direction by the Spaniard and Norwegian.
"I don't know what to do."
Mapi's words were hushed, and by the way she immediately spoke more quietly when she saw my head whip towards them, it is clear that they were not for my ears.
But as I fiddle with Bagheera's fur, I dissect her words. More than I should and definitely more than she wants me to.
She doesn't know what to do with me. She doesn't know how to help, how to fix what has been broken.
She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alexia because it would break my trust. Because telling Alexia could just make it all so much worse.
I think I have been holding onto hope that she really is that clueless and is trying to do what she thinks is best for me. I try to hope that is the reason this has all happened, and not because she simply has forgotten about me, or because she doesn't want to be responsible for me any more.
But honestly, I think it is a mix of all of that. And I think it has evolved from guilt, not watching my games, wanting to avoid the awkward conversations that could have arisen if she had apologised to me.
I wish she knew that an apology would make all the difference. A sincere one, from her heart.
Unprovoked. Just her, being truly apologetic.
Because as humiliating as it is, I would do anything to be back in her arms. I would do anything to have my older sister back, I wish that she would just do something that would make this all go away, to pick up the pieces of my shattered insides and stitch them back together. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, I would forget all about them and I would be able to function normally again.
But Alexia is not a surgeon, and she would not be able to do that stitching seamlessly. She would use glue, but even that won't put it all back together so perfectly.
There is no way for her to just put it back together and pretend it never happened, to move on like this was just a blip. Because I am different now, I have grown. She has missed so much of my early teenage years - the years that I have most needed her help.
But I am not even sure that Alexia wants that any more; I don't know if she wants to fix this all up and move on.
The dinner table is quiet as I pick at my meal, Mapi encouraging me to eat more than a few bites, claiming she won't leave until my plate has been cleaned up.
Ingrid doesn't utter a single word, instead her green eyes piercing through my skin. I feel exposed to Ingrid, as if she can read everything, understand everything, just from one simple glance.
It is ridiculous, but she is deep in thought so I don't say anything to her either.
It is only when Mapi opens her mouth again that Ingrid's eyes flick over to her girlfriend.
"Does Alba know you feel like this? Or your Mami?"
It is a simple question, but strikes a chord.
No, neither of them know. Neither of them have even noticed a change.
I shake my head roughly, and Ingrid releases a scoff.
I look up, offended.
"What?"
She turns her head to me, confused, so I continue.
"It is not my fault! It is not easy to talk about these things."
"No, no. Elena, that was not directed at you."
She seems apologetic so I have to believe her. I push my chair back, attempting to leave the room with a clutter, cursing my misty eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day.
But me exit is not as seamless as I would have liked, and Mapi is standing right in front of me when I get up, wrapping her arms around me.
It is supposed to be to trap me, but Mapi's arms will never not be a comfort.
I immediately relax into her grip, sighing softly.
"I am so confused."
~~~~~~
Mapi's hands were running through my hair, my lap on the sofa as the tv played that evening. It had been an hour since dinner and the three of us had moved into the lounge room, the silence being filled by the Spanish show on the screen.
But there was a knock on the door and Ingrid sighed, standing up to open it, knowing that neither Mapi or I would get up.
It was both surprising and unsurprising to see Aitana standing there, her hair messy and over of her face, as if she had just been in bed.
"Is Mapi still awake?"
She didn't bother to greet Ingrid, clearly here for a reason. Why else would she have arrived at almost 11 at night.
I couldn't hear Ingrid's response, but I could hear Mapi speaking to me.
"She's worried about you too, Elena. You-"
I love Aitana, I always have.
"I know she is, she is terrible at hiding it. But she has avoided bringing it up. If she wanted me to talk to her I would try my best to, but she hasn't."
Again, I love Aitana and I know she has my best interests at heart. She knows I need to talk about everything to someone, but she also knows that I don't want to. She doesn't want to push even though I can tell she is worried. She is stressed.
Ingrid and Aitana enter as soon as I finish speaking, the Spaniard almost running to where I am lying, placing her hand on my cheek.
"You have been crying."
It is blunt, a bit surprising. I don't really know what to expect from Aitana, she has always been the light hearted one who never would shy from telling me how great I was, but we have never really spoken about melancholy emotions like these.
I suppose there has never really been a need to in the past, that is what Alexia and Alba were for.
She sits down on the floor in front of my face, her knees up to her chest as she stares at me, intensity in her eyes. It is not unlike the intensity she often displays on the pitch, motivated and passionate.
"I will help you." She is decisive. "We will fix this."
I nod softly and she runs her hand down my cheek.
"You are too young to be feeling like this, little Lena. I am sorry I let it get this far."
I look at her in confusion and she pauses before continuing.
"I knew something was wrong. I went to your games at La Masia."
I can tell Mapi is listening closer now.
"I know she didn't go to any."
Mapi gasps, quite loudly, and Aitana gives her a frustrated look, rolling her eyes softly.
"I should have said something to her. She doesn't realise how important you are, how lucky she is to have you."
I frown at her words.
"Lucky?"
It hasn't something I'd ever considered my sisters to be, having to look after a small child for most of their adolescence. Having to please me for so long.
"I used to dream of having a baby sister like you, she is lucky."
Mapi decides it is her turn to add something to the conversation.
"She loves you, Elena, she always has. Of course she thought she was lucky. She needed someone to help her pick on Alba."
There is suddenly a lump in my throat. I think it is the mention of the before that triggered it. The memories are too hard to handle, I usually avoid them at all costs.
My eyes become wet again, apparently, but Aitana just laughs softly.
"You two were just so mean to her, the poor thing."
Mapi lets out a chuckle from above me as well, and I find my mouth turning upwards into a smile.
"I probably should apologise now, shouldn't I?"
Aitana shakes her head, not able to hold back her laughs and Mapi is the same from where I can not see her.
It is when I finally laughed that I feel Mapi soften beneath me and see Aitana exhale a soft sigh of relief. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I notice everything.
"We will fix this, ok?" Aitana was somewhat serious again, her hand patting my face. "We have a day off tomorrow, I will be here and we can all talk. We can all decide what to do next."
"Why are you two doing all this for me?"
Aitana sighs and Mapi's hands pause in my hair.
The midfielder looks above me, as if encouraging her to reply, but I speak up again before she can.
"Alexia is your captain, your teammate. She is your best friend, Mapi. Why are you doing so much for me when we are not speaking?"
There is another pause. It looks like Aitana is about to hit Mapi on the head, but the Spaniard speaks up before she can.
"Alexia has so many people behind her. Alexia is strong, she is experienced and she is older than you. You are just young, pequena and you are so lonely and lost. We want to help the both of you, but we need to help you first."
She pauses and Aitana finds the time to interject. It is like they have been talking about me.
Come to think of it, they probably have.
"You looked like you were going to burst. We knew that you and Alexia weren't speaking, that both of you were having a hard time because of it. But Elena, you looked destroyed. We couldn't leave you to your own devices any more. And Elena, we are doing this because we love you. So, so much."
"Alexia loves you too. More than us. She just does not do a great job of showing it, that's all."
I sigh softly, falling backwards into Mapi's lap, wondering just what I have done to deserve this.
How luckyI am to have my older sisters friends there looking out for me.
Because my family was falling apart and it was my fault. I couldn't do everything alone.
I choose not to think about what would happen if Mapi and Aitana weren't here like they are.
A tear slips down my face again, but this time it is not so sad. It is full of emotion, a grateful tear. Not quite happy, but not sad either.
"Thank you."
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed :)
this chapter was more to gauge where elena is at, sorry if it was boring!
part V
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soxcietyy · 10 months ago
Note
So I was thinking about virgin Y/n begging experienced Gojo to do it with her after he refused many times not wanting to rush her into things she could regret later on but then after she begged and begged he ended up fucking her at the edge of the bed forcing her to look in the mirror how he fucks her, with lots of praising.
Please?!
Gojo x virgin reader
First time writing on Gojo sooo here we go.
"Please?!"
"No."
"Please?!"
"No."
"Pleaseeeee?!"
"Since you put it that way I guess I’ll still say no. What’s up with you? Your being so persistent about something we’ve talked about before. Your not ready y/n" he said as he slouched onto the couch.
You decide to sit next to him with a disappointed look on your face. So he could see how much his answer affected you. It’s been 7 month of you guys dating and you still had yet to get some action.
You curse yourself for ruining your opportunity the first time. It was when you guys where two months in and he had you on his bed. You guys were kissing and taking his clothes off first because you were too embarrassed to do it first. You were so nervous that in the middle of making out you blurted out that fact that you were a virgin. His eyes widened at your response and he got off of you immediately, nothing ever happened after.
You didnt understand why that happened. Other people told you how much of a whore your boyfriend was before dating you and that he would sleep with anyone that caught his eye. Now he decided to be a saint and go months without doing it. You could remember googling if being a virgin was bad. How to seduce your boyfriend into doing it with you. Is my boyfriend broken?
You didn’t really gain much information with that last one.
You lay on his lap defeated. You laid down facing him so he could see how sad you were from the answer he just gave you. Were you meant to die a virgin? Looking up at him you could see how his pupils moved around from watching tv.
"Gojo please? Iv heard it’s bad for a guy to be pent up like that." You say.
He looks down at you with a smile,"thank you for your concern but I’m fine trust me." He said.
Maybe it was time you try to seductively win him over. You remember everything that Reddit post said about doing it. You just gotta look hot and do sexual things. When you thought about the example you’ve read your face turned red. How in the world do they think your going to put his fingers in your mouth so you can suck on them?! This was to embarrassing and scandalous. You cover your face not wanting to think about it anymore. You could also feel his gaze on you as he watched you.
Fuck it you’ll just suck him off. You took a deep breath before quickly unzipping his pants and unbuttoned it. He froze at your sudden antics and sighed as he tried to stop you. You pushing his hands away thought and got him member out of his pants. It was as big as you remember it being.
"Whenever your done doing whatever this is can you please put it back?" He raised a brow.
You shrug and put the tip in your mouth making him jump. "Hey get it out of your mouth." He says trying to push you off of him. You refused and went as deep as you could. To the point of your eyes watering and your mouth feeling so full that you gagged.
"You realize your less than halfway right?" He said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
He didn’t know weather to feel second hand embarrassment or surprise by your willingness.
"You know what fine, I’ll give you what you want but just know I’m not going to go easy on you. I keep telling you your not ready and you don’t listen. If you won’t listen to me then I won’t listen when your crying later." He said standing up and carrying you into his room over him shoulder.
Finally, this was a win for you. Your finally managed to convince him to do it with you!
He laid you on the bed and began to take his clothes off. When he finished he turned to you and began to take your shirt off. You gasp remembering that you haven’t even been fully naked in front of him. He slowly took them off as he buried his eyes onto your skin. Looking at everything he hasn’t seen before. You felt so exposed nervous at the same time. Looking at body you admired how it was built. As if he were an god or something. Your eyes narrow down to his member and you notice something. Did it get bigger?!
"Don’t get all shy on me now." He cooes as he easily read you. your try to hide your breast from him since he was starting to stare daggers into them.
He leans in and kisses you passionately as he removes your hands and puts them on your side. He kissed you so desperate that it was hard to keep up with him. His tongue in your mouth as he explored everything. You didn’t seem to notice that he was taking your bottoms off since he was keeping your attention somewhere else. When you did notice you jump.
"Wait! This is too fast no?" You say pushing his face away.
"We would of been doing the deed by now if it wasn’t for you dragging things on like this." He said as he slipped your bottoms off in one go.
Your hand immediately moves to cover yourself but by the time you almost reach it Gojo is already eating you out. You throw your head back at the weird sensation. This isn’t okay right? Like is he even supposed to be doing that? You squirm feeling how the tongue moved inside of you.
"Du chu ike at?" You hear him say as he ate you out.
You looked at him confused not begging able to understand a word. He emerges from inbetween your legs and shoved two finger in you making you gasp.
"I said, do you like that?" He smirked at you as he started to curl his fingers inside of you repeatedly.
"Stop doing that and put it in my already!" You furrow your brow.
"Your no fun," he exhaled deeply as he sat In front of you and spread your legs wide.
You once again cover your face from embarrassment. You could feel how he shoved around to a position. You couldn’t help but be scared. You’ve been told that losing your virginity can be so painful while others say that it didn’t hurt at all. Hopefully it was going to be painless. Your attention was brought back by him rubbing his member up and down your cunt. Smacking it a few times on you making you jump.
Clearly he was taunting you and trying to see if you tapped out last minute. You take a deep breath as you mentally prepared yourself. There’s no way your backing out now. You feel how the tip of his member was slowly pushed in. Nothing bad until he continues to go in. It felt like he was going to rip you apart.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! It hurts!" You tell as you started pushing him back with your leg.
You could hear him chuckle as he grabbed your foot that you placed on his chest to force him back.
"Y/n, I said I wasn’t going to go easy on you." He pushes your leg down to your chest.
Your eyes widen realizing this wasn’t going to be as easy as you initially thought it would be. He continued to slide in as you frantically try to stop him. Your begging him to stop and to go slower.
"Gojo, please it hurts so bad! I can’t, I can’t!" You say as tears appear in the corner of your eyes.
He leans into you and caresses your chin as he whispered into your ear.
"Be a good girl and take me. This is what you’ve been begging for no? I’m giving it to you so how about a thank you?" He said as he leaned back.
He mouthed 'thank you' to you as a way for you to do what he said.
You shake your head not wanting to do something like that. You could see a devilish grin form on his face as he began to press into you again. The same burning and painful sensation started again.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You yell hoping it would stop him and that it did.
"You know the best way to get me all the way inside with only a bit of pain?" He asks you.
You look at him hoping for a good resolution to this.
"It’s distraction, so I’m going to try to distract you as I go inside of almost like this!" He finished his sentence as he rams into you.
Your body lurched from the pain and you let out a loud cry. That had to be one of the most painful experiences in your life. Tears began to fall from your eyes from the pain.
"Aw my poor sugar cube don’t cry. I know it hurts a lot but I needed to get inside. Right now your insides are getting used to me so just relax. You did such a good job." He said as he ran his fingers on your shaking thigh.
You nod at him as you wipe your tears away. It took a bit for your body to get kind of used to him. When he noticed he he slid out and turned you around. He told you to get on fours and to look at yourself in the mirror.
"I think iv been pretty patient with you so it’s my turn to have fun okay? Be a good girl and no cryin" he kisses you on the head.
Once again he slid inside of you fully making you want to cry again. You see as he shook his finger at you telling you not to cry. You shut your eyes and fight off the tears. Once he decided to move he slid out and slammed into you fully. Your jaw drops a bit from the sudden unfamiliar feeling. This was something new to you. A feeling that made you feel a way you couldn’t describe. He did it a few times before saying something.
"That’s it huh? That’s your sweet spot. Found it faster than I thought I would. Now we can have real fun." He smiles.
He grabs you by the hips and digs deep into your cunt making you moan. He rolled his over and over again.
"Such a good girl, this is what you wanted huh?" He praised you.
He grabbed you by the hair making you look straight in the mirror as he pushed you down. He made sure your ass was still up as he pounded you forcefully.
"Gonna make you into such a whore for my cock only." He groans as your walls tighten.
He pounded you so aggressively that you gripped on the bed sheets and let out whimpers. He forced you to look at how me drilled your virgin hole with no mercy. The wet sounds filling your ears as he continued.
"I feel weird Gojo, ah! Something feels really off." You moan.
"Fuck, your gonna come huh? Be a good girl and come all over my cock. I want you to leave a mess on it." He says as he doesn’t stop. He pushed your head down as he went in you harder. Your legs began to shake as you orgasmed. Tears began to fall as you finished so hard. The sensation was something so amazing. You couldn’t move from the after math of it. You felt so weak and out of energy.
"Common get back up, i haven’t finished yet."
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defectivevillain · 28 days ago
Text
guarded by the shadows
pairing: Michael Myers/Reader (can be platonic or romantic)
reader's race & gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used.
No one wants a murder house, even when it’s absurdly cheap. No one except you, it seems.
In which you buy the Myers house.
word count: 1.7k | ao3 version
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warnings: carbon monoxide poisoning, hospitals and IVs, unconsciousness
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You knew what you were getting into when you purchased the Myers house in Haddonfield. It had been something of a ghost house for years, lying neglected and practically abandoned despite the countless realtors who attempted to sell it. Supposedly, many of their efforts were waylaid by Dr. Samuel Loomis—who has a bad habit of barging in and dissuading interested parties from buying it. He did the same thing to you: storming into the house just after your realtor gave you a tour, warning you that Michael Myers would likely return to his childhood home. 
His little display had scared you for a second, sure. But you weren’t going to let that frighten you off of the one property you could actually afford. Together, the realtor and you managed to get the man to leave—albeit with a lot of grumbling and muttering. Then, the two of you turned to each other and exchanged relieved looks. A few hours later, you were standing in front of the property with the keys in hand and a nervous smile on your face. 
Maybe it was a little optimistic of you, though, to buy the house so fast. Your moving process has been somewhat impeded by the basic repairs needed across the space: the cracked toilet, freezing cold water from the shower, broken stove, and shattered windows all desperately need attention. In your scramble to fix the seemingly endless amount of things that don’t work in the house, you forget to acknowledge one appliance: the carbon monoxide detector. The thought completely slips your mind, as you attempt to make your new home more livable and less imposing. You even have to get the garage door painted over multiple times—after a few rebellious kids spray paint “MURDERER” and other flattering messages all over it. 
Fortunately, as time passes, you slowly tackle each of these projects. It’s a bit harder than you expected to get plumbers and electricians to actually agree to enter your home, with its reputation. But you finally find some brave (or just uncaring) ones and, before long, you have functioning appliances. 
Even so, there are still a few eccentricities to the house. There’s a small darkened red-brown stain in one of the rooms—smeared as if someone tried to clean it up. You resolutely convince yourself it isn’t blood, even though you know deep-down it must be. The floorboards are very creaky; sometimes, the frames on the walls will shake and clatter in impatience; and you occasionally lose track of items you put down, as if someone is sneaking in and taking things. Although these happenings sometimes scare you, you manage to dismiss them as nothing more than coincidences. You’re a bit too preoccupied with making a living for yourself to put much thought into insignificant observations. 
The main problem you’ve encountered at this point, after weeks of living in the house, is the unstable temperature. The furnace is kind of shitty and the air conditioning is a complete joke. Even after you get these things fixed, though, you start to notice that you still feel a bit… off. At first, you write it off as  some sort of seasonal allergy. But allergy medicine doesn’t resolve the issue, and you’re soon fighting off pounding headaches every day. You’re beginning to suspect that you came down with some sort of bug. Eventually, it gets to the point where you have to leave work early and return home to rest. 
When you wake up the next morning, you find that you’re particularly weak and exhausted. You feel as if you’re trying to walk through quicksand. Frowning, you push yourself out of bed and attempt to walk out to the living room—only to collide with the nearby wall as your balance nearly gives out. You press a shaking hand to your forehead, idly wondering if you could have a fever. The cool sensation—combined with the fact that you took your temperature last night, only for it to be normal—convinces you that it can’t be a fever. Maybe you have some sort of head cold. That would certainly explain your loss of equilibrium and dizziness. 
You manage to get yourself back to a standing position and take slow steps out into the living room. It’s a very short distance—maybe five steps or so—but your chest is burning from the exertion. Why does everything look so blurry? You blink dazedly and attempt to get to the couch, only for your legs to crumple under you. 
You fall to the ground like a puppet with broken strings, feeling like a spectator to your own movements as your vision twists around and you hear a dull thud. A harsh pain reverberates throughout your temple. You think you’re shaking. Your chest still hurts; and the aching in your temple has spread down to your cheekbones and across your face. Your eyes slip shut and you slip into a bleary haze.  
You’re not sure how long you’re lying there before you manage to pry your eyes back open. But the effort is really no use—as you’re too weak to even move. Your headache is so strong that you feel the urge to throw up. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you see a flicker of movement. A shadow passes across your vision and suddenly, there’s someone leaning over you. 
Even in your fatigued and confused state, you’re able to recognize them. Michael Myers is leaning over you, his mask secured over his face. A shiver rolls down your spine and you’re overtaken with fear. It seems Dr. Loomis was right. Michael did return to the house. Does he have something to do with this? 
All these thoughts and more run through your head, sending a renewed wave of adrenaline through you. You try to push yourself up and crawl away, but your body isn’t obeying any of your commands. A relentless drowsiness is pushing you back to the floor, alongside a dizzying spiral that makes your vision hazy and convoluted. Michael’s blurred head tilts. There’s a horrid ringing in your ears as you make one final attempt to move. A minute twitch of your fingers is the best you can manage, before you’re fading back into unconsciousness. 
You wake to the feeling of something digging into the skin of your arm. Wincing, you weakly reach out with your other arm and feel around for the intrusion, finding an object attached to your arm. You attempt to pull it off, but there’s a calm voice chiding you and pushing your inquiring hand away. Blinking away tears at the blinding fluorescent lighting above, you slowly take in the environment around you and come to an easy conclusion: you’re in the hospital. The pain in your arm is from the IV; the voice from before was your nurse. 
The nurse hands you a glass of water and you eagerly take a few sips, before they place it on the table at your bedside. You cough to clear your throat, recognizing a lingering pain in your chest. “What happened?” You remember to ask. 
“Carbon monoxide poisoning,” the nurse responds with a sympathetic grimace. Damn it—that was what you had forgotten to do. You never replaced the carbon monoxide detectors in the house. “One of your neighbors found you unconscious on your front lawn.” 
The front lawn? Your memories of that night are hazy and hard to reach, but after a few minutes of concentrated effort, you recall that you had collapsed in your living room. You frown. You certainly wouldn’t have possessed enough strength to make it out of your home and onto the front yard. How did you get outside? 
Before you can ponder the question any longer, the nurse is asking you a series of questions and evaluating your symptoms. When they’re finally finished, they’re about to leave—before they pause in the doorway and head back into the room, a contemplative expression on their face. “It’s a miracle you made it outside.” They say candidly. You blink at them. “Do you remember leaving the house?” The nurse hums. 
“No,” you answer, a frown rising on your face. A miracle. You resist the urge to huff in amusement. You can’t necessarily say that succumbing to carbon monoxide poisoning was miraculous. And your supposed “escape” from your home is more perplexing than anything else. “I think I passed out in the living room.” You continue. 
A strange expression passes over the nurse’s face. “Oh,” they remark quietly, suddenly looking concerned. They shake their head as if to clear their thoughts. “Well, it’s a good thing your roommate found you!” There’s a somewhat forced cheeriness to their voice. But that observation fades to the back of your mind, when you comprehend what they’ve just said. 
“I don’t have a roommate.” You’ve lived alone for as long as you’ve stayed in that house. But the nurse’s remark does jog your memory, reminding you of the one presence who made himself known that night: Michael Myers. Goosebumps rise along your skin. The nurse seems to notice and pulls the blanket over you, which does little to quell your mounting fear. 
Then they seem to process your remark, and a somewhat patronizing smile rises on their lips. “Sounds like you have a guardian angel, then.” They don’t seem to believe you. But before you can ask any more questions, the nurse exits, leaving you to your growing confusion. 
Just what happened? You suspect someone saved you… but who? And why? You continue to contemplate these questions as you recover in the hospital; after a few days, you’re discharged from the hospital. You return home to find a note on your front door, wishing you a quick recovery and saying that the property has been aired out and cleared of carbon monoxide. A small smile rises on your lips and you remind yourself to thank your neighbor. 
The house is a bit brisk and cold, evidently thanks to the windows being open for so long. Otherwise, it looks entirely the same as you left it. Relief courses through you as you explore the house, double-checking that nothing looks out of place. You’re about to relax when your eyes find something on the kitchen counter: boxes of new carbon monoxide detectors. And through the nearby window, you catch a glimpse of a masked figure between the trees, watching you. 
A disbelieving, frightened laugh crawls its way from your lips.
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