#ive been watching a show lately called being human

[mbat]

i love how werewolves are a metaphor for so many things. queerness. trauma. menstruation. chronic illness. like... its the best fictional creature for a reason

[chweverni]

winter kid

pairing; kim gyuvin x gn!reader synopsis; seok y/n is a typical winter kid; kim gyuvin, being the total opposite, transfers next to their house. what happens when sparks start to show between both? how long will they run away? wc; 1.8k warnings; mentions of childhood trauma, profanity, angsty, fluff/comfort if you squint, figurative language if you squint even more, not proofread author's note; ive always wanted to write sth like this so here's me trying this out! :) heavily inspired by winter child (a short film) on yt, def worth a watch! also made gyuvin a tad bit younger to fit the narrative, sorry for that. -

a winter kid— known for running away from their real emotions, known to like the coldness it provides, known to never warm up to their feelings because they've learnt to cope with the somber nights it brings.

being an only child in a family barely making ends meet should've been easy. no extra burden, no extra tuition fee, no extra money spent to buy materialistic things. but, for y/n, it was different. as if, being alone wasn't a problem in itself.

as a child, seeing their parents fight over the custody of their child wasn't easy. one requires the maternal warmth and care of their mother and the paternal support and encouragement of their father to nurture their humanity. every time y/n saw their parents fight, throw away chairs to argue, break vases, damage the only TV they owned, profanity spitted here and there; they would quietly walk away from their house and sit on the swing of the park nearby, observing how quiet the night was, counting the endless stars that sparkled in the sky or maybe watch as their legs fold and unfold to keep the swing moving on its own pace.

y/n had learnt to never shed a tear during times like this; the uncomfortable lump that never left their throat always reminded them that crying would make it even worse. they had just learnt to isolate their emotions far away in a box, locking it along with the faded memories of their short-lived, happy childhood.

y/n was sixteen years old now, with parents being separated for 9 years—moving houses was as frequent as the weekly tests their school took. but, at the end, they were trained well for it anyway. every night, they would return late home from school, skip dining with their mom or dad, and lie on the bed, turning the volume of their headphones to the maximum so that the murmuring of their parents on their phone don't reach their ears.

one evening, while y/n was returning home, they noticed a truck in front of their house. it carried several cardboard boxes, which were gradually disappearing as a young boy carried them inside the house next to y/n's—grunting every now and then, stressing the heavy weight of each one.

they couldn't make out how the boy looked, his eyes being partly hidden by his over-grown silky, black bangs. the white t-shirt peaking out of his jacket, which barely provided him with the warmth required to stay hot in these harsh winters. his hot breath produced puffs of air, as his cheeks reddened due to the cold weather outside.

while y/n was observing the young male, the stranger halted his work to look back at them, confused at the almost lifeless state of the person standing. he called out,

"you live here?"

y/n could only nod, as they gulped with hesitation filling the air between the two.

"i'm kim gyuvin! nice to meet you. guess we'll be seeing each other often, huh?", gyuvin tried to get y/n to warm up, despite the cold tension slowly building a wall in front of him.

y/n nodded yet again. gyuvin put down the tower of boxes he was holding, his strong arms relaxing, as he made his way before the wall hardened—breaking the fresh bricks in the way, not letting the cement harden any longer.

"you didn't tell me your name.", he said, staring right into y/n's eyes. their eyes reflected a sense of hesitation, which slowly evaporated as they parted their lips to speak, voice coming barely as a whisper due to not speaking much, as they spoke,

"i'm seok y/n."

his lips formed a soft smile at their voice, as he extended his hand to y/n, who shook it slowly.

y/n couldn't decipher why they saw a small fire burning their ice-cold hand while shaking kim gyuvin's hand, but they let it be—walking back into the cold confines of their home, which helped retain their coldness. that day, seok y/n, the certified winter kid, could feel their feet melting the thin, icy floors of their house.

-

the following morning, y/n woke up, following their usual routine to get ready for school. they headed for school early, in order to avoid going with kim gyuvin (and because they had to clean up the classrooms before their classmates arrived). but somehow, the new kid, coincidentally woke up early too, leaving his house with the usual smile on his face.

"seok y/n! wait up, let's walk together! it's still 5 a.m., don't worry..", gyuvin trailed as he ran to y/n.

walking together felt like a fever dream to y/n, because they swore that they could feel their wall melting again, this time even more rapidly, maybe because they were walking to school together, the cardio suddenly making their body temperature rise up, higher than usual. the unusual fast beating of their heart made the small box almost open up, soon to be overflowing with bottled emotions building up since their childhood.

as the pair reached their classroom, cleaning and setting the desks felt less lonelier, the familiar feeling of somberness replaced with an alien-like feeling, kim gyuvin's presence letting the freezing heart thaw in his warmth as he helped y/n dust the black board clean.

although the silent company of y/n didn't bother gyuvin, he couldn't help but notice the buried emotions in the individual, which assigned an almost monotonous color to y/n, which contrasted with his easy-going, carefree personality he was well-liked for.

school day went as usual, y/n was nowhere to be seen during lunch breaks—only to be spotted at the library stairs, reading an old comic after school, unaware of kim gyuvin's almost sultry presence.

"y/n.. it's time to head back."

y/n's head sprung up to look at gyuvin, who was awkwardly chewing on his lower lip, as his fingers fiddled with the straps of his backpack.

"i can't return home, just yet."

"but it's almost 6 p.m. now.", gyuvin argued, testing the waters to see if y/n would break out of the frigid box they had created for themself.

y/n inhaled for a short instance, as they got up from the stairs, closing the book, hinting that they were ready to go home with the boy. the walk back home was ever so silent, the thick air between both made gyuvin excruciatingly uncomfortable, because he felt a want to engage in longer conversations with seok y/n, the nut he found almost impossible to crack, the more he tried.

as they parted ways in front of their houses' front yard, gyuvin could only share a look of concern as he waved y/n goodbye, heading back to his home.

reaching his room upstairs, he separated the curtains of his windows, as he observed y/n's room, visible from the thin parting of their curtains, showcasing the almost empty wall with a single book-case filled with various books—contrary to gyuvin's wall, adorned with posters of his favorite bands, his acoustic guitar, his various medals and trophies, and his prized certificates achieved in different competitions.

crash. gyuvin heard something shatter from the neighboring house, followed by sounds of more furniture being thrown. he couldn't figure out what was happening, but suddenly he found himself running swiftly downstairs, with a thirst to know if y/n, the winter kid, was okay.

-

"after all i've done, this is how you pay me?! what the fuck were you thinking, using my money to get enrolled in some fucking ridiculous music class?! do you know how hard i was working to earn that?! you ungrateful fucking brat; should've left you back at your bitch ass mother! you're just like her!"

y/n's heartbeat was increasing as they tightened their fists, adrenalin high, as they tried their best to keep the box locked, taking deep breaths, falling short every time. they ran out of their house, as they heard sounds of glass bottles shattering on the floor. the want to keep running till they got lost forever was so deep.

"SEOK Y/N! SEOK! Y/N!"

the loud bashing of the door, followed by running barefoot in the neighborhood was seen by kim gyuvin—the clueless soul, still lost in trying to solve the maze he got himself tangled in. he ran after y/n, still so ambitious—differing from y/n's unmotivated self. as he finally caught up to his friend, he took hold of their hand, stopping them from running and getting hurt even more.

the cold snow paired with the rough gravel had wounded y/n's feet, their eyes welling with tears, hair being blown away by the cold winter breeze.

the certified winter kid was once again, trying their best to bottle their emotions, as gyuvin's hold melted their snow brick walls for the nth time, despite moving in just a day ago. his summer-like appearance was deceiving y/n's ice shield, as it slowly gave into his warmth.

tears started flowing from y/n's eyes as they sat on the cold ground, loud cries echoing in the empty street.

-

"how long do you plan on running away?"

gyuvin asked, as he cleaned up the cuts on y/n's feet, applying the bandages to prevent them from getting infected.

the pain didn't startle y/n, but his question did. they wondered why their ice shield gave up, why their box broke, why their frigid personality thawed and melted right in gyuvin's company.

"as long as i want to."

"what do you achieve from running away, seok y/n? doesn't it tire you?"

"i'm accustomed."

"no you're not."

y/n sniffled,

"and if i'm not? what will you do? what discomfort does it cause you, my agony?"

gyuvin halted his movements, as he looked at y/n's eyes. the winter kid was slowly warming up to the summer kid. their eyes meeting, causing sparks to fly around them both.

"i'm interested in you. please, warm up to me more, seok y/n. i am so interested in you, seeing you so reserved around me, kills me inside. i don't know what happened yesterday. but give me a chance to prove myself."

that day, maybe seok y/n, felt something taking over them. because they held onto gyuvin's warm embrace without a single word. his heartbeat providing them with a sense of comfort, as gyuvin tightened the hug, seated on the isolated bus stand.

the winter kid was slowly losing to a mere human—so occupied in himself. what more was to come? what more could they make of themself? what were they going to do about those sparks bursting around them?

-

(should i consider making a part II?)

[chiarts45]

Hey been a while since I last came on here but just wanted to bring into light some matters that have been annoying me very much lately that most of the goth loving or spooky/paranormal show loving fans love to ignore...well the non bipoc half at least, so off I go I guess, now it is really aggravating to me how we as a society do not cancel tim Burton enough as we should, he still works on movies and still has a large audience watching him especially compared to how we cancel other racists but i mean i get it yknow non black or white ppl wanna say they don't tolerate racism till it's some popular creator that makes content they enjoy then they go out of their way clutching pearls,clutching purses grasping for straws, reaching so hard that they nearly dislocate their elbows all to try and keep their fave from getting cancelled because they know it means they wont have any more content which I find sad honestly that just because they're privileged they prioritise their entertainment over us and only cancel racist brands that they dont really use,only cancel racists that are either old or unattractive and only cancel racists as long as they do not make content they rlly enjoy hence Camilla Cabello gets cancelled for racism because she doesn't rlly make good songs while Lana del ray thrives, is defended and idolised. Tim Burton in question of what racist thing he did tho, black goth lovers asked him for representation and he replied with black ppl don't fit his aesthetic then I think after some backlash from black ppl he then added some black dude as a villain in one of his movies or something as I heard but unfortunately the cancellation died down because he is a popular creator and produces good and popular content like corpse bride and got LOTS of support from his non black or white viewers and BRO you shouldve seen the ridiculous thin ahh looking straws ppl were desperately trying to grasp at, ppl saying that "i mean well maybe he just means black ppls skin tone is too "brightishly brown" and his characters are normally grey,white etc and look dead" as if dark skin black ppl dont exist and as if you cant just get a greyer tint of brown on the colour wheel by just moving a few slides then ppl saying "guys his characters don't have race anyways" even tho his characters are either non human,white/light skin or white passing(the dead ones), yes his works still have human characters which some black ppl replied to the first argument with that if he can't create dead black characters then he can just make black human characters then the fans replied "yeah but they wouldn't be pale and would still not fit the spooky aesthetic" and don't even get me started on ppl saying that kinky 4c hair wouldn't be gothic or occultic enough to fit the aesthetic and then there's the fans that are just being flat out racist by saying " there mustn't be representation in every single media" lol.

@creatingblackcharacters

I kinda wanted to shorten this whole rant up and just send it as an ask but I couldn't find the ask button for some reason and they are more educated on black matters like these plus I rlly want this to gain recognition because for some reason of all the tim Burton things trending on Tumblr him being racist is not one of them or at least I don't think Ive seen because all the posts that call him out on it or try to bring the matter back up have very few notes and i rlly wanted to bring this stuff into limelight again so I rlly needed their 2 cents on the matter if they don't mind especially the part of racists not getting punished enough if they make enjoyable products/content or if they're like really attractive because it doesnt get talked about enough for some reason.

[drgngutz]

Cybernetic Soulmate - IV

BEN Drowned x Reader 

Soulmate AU – Implied Female Reader

Meeting with Alex goes over pretty well, thanks to Ben’s instruction. But, something isn’t right. 

Part 3

Masterlist

Benjamin Lawman 

BEN Drowned

You’re almost at your destination after a few very long hours, having to pass through a few States in order to get to the location BEN had told you for the cartridge. Throughout traveling you had been on and off chatting using the connection, too. It was odd hearing such a robotic voice in your head, so monotonous and void of emotion; yet so similar to the one that you used to hear, the human one. You’re somehow still going along with this plan, despite the way your stomach tosses around with each mile passed. 

He’s given you a few things that need to be done so that you can properly retrieve the cartridge. First, you needed to contact Jadusable, or Alex Hall, and set up a time to meet with him using the last name ‘Hubris.’ This, for some reason, would catch Alex’s attention better than a random stranger's name. 

In fact, the name even sounded familiar to you. When you asked BEN about why the surname was so significant, he said he hadn’t known for sure. You didn’t know if your brain was creating a big deal out of nothing, since it was rather late in the evening at that point; but, it sounded like he was being dismissive of your concerns. The nausea that plummeted to the base of your stomach served to keep you quiet. You wanted to throw up from the stress of everything. Couldn’t you get in trouble with using a false name like this? 

Regardless, BEN was right. Alex was quick to reply; the contents of your initial email included the second part of the instructions:

It was quite short, briefly explaining to Alex that you knew how to destroy the cartridge. You were working under the guise that your older brother, named Matt, used to own the cartridge before they both disappeared. That is, until you read Alex’s posts online and made some connections between how similar his and ‘your brothers’ experiences were. That was the most you were allowed to say, though. In BEN’s words, less information was better.

You hated the idea of lying to the poor guy’s face, especially after what you had read online if his story was true, but there was no point in turning back now. You were almost there, had already called out of your upcoming day at work, and agreed to BEN’s deal. 

So, that’s exactly what you did as you sat in front of him in the desolate coffee shop; as the subtle hum of the old electric lighting made goosebumps rise on your skin, you lied to Alex’s face as you nervously sipped at the plastic coffee cup you had ordered for yourself. 

He was young, still in his early twenties, probably not much younger than you; but the way he looked made it seem as if he had aged beyond that point. Dark bags hung beneath his hazel, bloodshot eyes – they showed starkly against his incredibly pale face. His chestnut-brown hair was matted, and he twitched often, hands coming up to scratch at the stubble on his chin or run them through his greasy locks in an effort to keep himself busy. His clothes sported stains, both fresh and old, meaning he hadn’t had a proper change of clothes, or more likely a shower, in days. He couldn’t sit still, and his anxiousness radiated off of him and to you. He hadn’t even touched his coffee, yet. You could feel BEN in the back of your mind, watching your limited interaction silently through the connection. 

“M-Matt–” You struggled to properly get the word out, the name feeling foreign on your tongue. You hoped that you could play it off as just being nervous about having an experience like his. 

“Matt was a good person… a-and our family was devastated when he just… Disappeared.” You let out a shaky sigh, feeling yourself struggle to look at his face. 

“S-So when I saw your post on 4chan, your story was so similar to his that I just… felt it would only be right to reach out and ask to meet with you.” You didn’t dare speak too loudly. Being the only two in the coffee shop made it hard enough to keep the conversation rolling without any awkwardness; it didn’t help that any sudden sounds, whether it be from the television in the corner or the hissing of coffee being brewed, made him jump from his spot. 

“In his diary,” You continued on, “He mentioned he had an idea to destroy it. And, well, I-I think I have a pretty good shot at doing it.” 

“I… Don’t really understand, but…” He starts, eyes flickering to you, then to the television, the lights, the clock, and finally back to you. 

“Y-You can destroy it, right?” The way he was looking into your eyes, almost pleading for some sort of peace that you could offer him, made your heart wrench. He really thought that you were some sort of savior, and here you were tricking him in order to do the opposite. The guilt constricts your windpipe for a moment, and you’re scared he might just see right through your ploy. 

For a moment, maybe you could try to treat the lies you’ve been feeding him as providing him a sense of false comfort; just to make yourself feel better. 

“Yeah, I can.” You hoped that your false confidence was enough to convince him, despite feeling like you were disintegrating on the inside.  

“...Okay.” He doesn’t move for a moment, sighing deeply. You almost think he’s about to run out of the coffee shop from how tense he looks, before he abruptly looks back at you. Holding his gaze, you can see the uncertainty flicker and fade in his eyes when he makes his final decision. 

“T-Take it.” His hand shaking, the cartridge clatters loudly onto the table as he practically throws it at you, making the both of you wince when it disturbs the tense silence. 

He can’t take his eyes off of it once it’s out in the open; gaze practically glued, looking as if he was reliving some horrible memories. You glance at him, then back at the gray piece of plastic that started all of this, feeling yourself hesitating from his disfavorable reaction. Picking it up gently, you can feel BEN’s satisfaction plume within you as you turn it over, revealing ‘MAJORA’ scrawled messily in dark ink. Smoothing your finger over the bumps outlining the sides, you find yourself wondering how something so small could cause such a great big mess. 

When you look back up, Alex is staring at you instead, and you wonder if you had stared at the cartridge too long. 

“Thanks.” Hoping you didn’t blow your cover, you swallow and make a move to get up from the table. 

“Be careful.” He whispers, still staring as you pocket the game. You nod wordlessly, before all but rushing for the door, leaving some money for both coffees on the counter. 

Alex sits at that table, watching as you get in your car as if your life depended on it. He’s wondering if he made a mistake, knowing he had probably rushed through the process in order to be rid of the cartridge. He could already feel the calm settle over him without the ominous presence of the cursed object, but there was one thing still bothering him. 

You didn’t even tell him how you would destroy it. 

Once inside the vehicle, you hurriedly start the engine and pull out of the parking spot, peeling out onto the road and speeding away, back towards your house. 

“I got it.” You glanced at the little gray item that sat on the passenger seat, feeling a threatening aura envelop you every time your eyes landed on it. 

I know. You did good.

Your stomach flips at the positive remark, but you try to ignore it for the sake of your safety; Not trying to get distracted by a simple compliment, and instead focusing on the more problematic topic. 

“He seemed… Really scared.” If BEN couldn’t tell you were nervous, you would be surprised. 

Hm.

You swallowed again, wondering if you should even bother asking the next question. 

“Should… Should I be scared?” You asked anyway. 

No.

He was openly dismissing you, now. You suspected it was because he now had what he wanted. 

You take a deep breath and close the connection, not knowing how to feel about the choices you’ve made. 

Benjamin Lawman 

BEN Drowned

Once home you’re completely exhausted. It’s now very early in the morning, and the first thing you did since returning was set up the console for BEN, as he had asked you to. Everything seemed to be secured properly, all the right wires plugged in from what you could remember. The Nintendo 64 had been sitting and collecting dust for a while now, you didn’t remember the last time you bothered to play the old console.

Good.

Now, play the game. 

The atmosphere drops to something sinister as soon as you read the words on the screen. For some reason, it doesn’t sit right with you, goosebumps crawling over your skin. 

“I… I don’t want to.” You dithered, trying not to let your resolve stray as you stared into the TV screen. 

What?

The word, despite having no tone at all, seems like it's displeased. 

“Can’t you just, I dunno, connect to it?” Rubbing gently over the soulmate mark, you feel the pressure in the room rise at your response, “Since I hooked it up to the TV?” 

No. You must play.

“Why?” You wait. No response. There’s something wrong, something dangerous about what he’s asking you to do. You’re not sure what it is, but the feeling you’re getting from that TV makes you want to run and hide. 

“I’m not going to play,” You hesitate, “I still don’t trust you.” 

Annoying. 

Boring.

You shake your head, a bit put off by him trying to make you feel bad about your decision. 

“I don’t care,” You glare, “You’re not gonna’ make me feel bad about this. I read about all of the things you did online, remember? You can connect: ‘through cables and cords,’ like Alex wrote. You’ve been acting strange ever since I picked up the cartridge.” 

Play the game. 

He’s getting impatient again, you don’t care, being too tired to put up with his attitude any longer. 

“Play it yourself.” You spit, pointing at the console on the ground, “It’s hooked up. I know you can turn it on.” 

I cannot.

“Listen, I’m not letting you drag me into whatever shit you dragged Alex into. He looked like he had been to hell and back.” You huff and put your head in your hands, “I’m literally helping you right now, trying to free you because you asked me to do it for you. Even if it doesn’t benefit me in the end.” 

Flailing your arms around in exhaustion, you almost want to cry again. 

“And with the way you keep treating me, it’s turning out that I probably won’t get anything out of this exchange. Even though you told me you’d hold up your end of the deal.” Turning defiantly away from the screen, you shrug in the direction of the doorway, trying to display your lack of care for the situation anymore. 

“Either turn it on yourself, or stay in there forever for all I care.” 

… 

Are you sure?

“Oh, fuck off, BEN.” You walk off without another word, feeling frustration push itself up and quickly take over your emotional state. 

The mechanical whir of the console turning on makes you scoff, and you glance back one last time to see the starting screen of Majora’s Mask displayed on the TV. 

“Fucking liar.”

Part 5

[raid3r-r4bbit]

@fuzzydreamin thanks for the lol. ive been a little busy with life so sorry for the late response.

Favorite Color:

Green. Like Blindingly Neon almost yellow bile/acid toxic hazmat pukey green. Also black. I'm also a fan of earthy tones, warm greys and browns, rusty orangey reds, and i also unironically love that "some smoker lived here for 5+ years but i swear the walls are white" sepia color.

Last song:

Either Childish Flamingo or 1x1. I've been hopping in between really screamy and just goofy shit atm because i cant focus with anything else. 🤷 But (I also jsut got a new BMTH hoodie) BMTH's post human album has been feeding me. It's a really good (visual? no.) example of that like just angry and over it nihilist feeling and I just *MUNCH CRUNCH AAAA* like i feel like it could be just the tiniest bit angrier and louder but i think that's my headphones.

as for childish flamingo, its like that miseryxcpr thing imo. It's goofy and funny and it slaps. and it's so catchy. it's like right on the edge of aha funny and fuck you street and i love it. i hope any of that makes sense im sorry lol.

Last movie:

the Demon Slayer movie. I skipped all the way to the end to see the fight between Akaza and Rengoku because they're two of my favs ( in order from that show: Uzui (my mom calls yuzu (my cat) Uzui and its adorable) Akaza and Rengoku. I Found out the english dub is out (im way behind) and just needed to hear their english voice acting. all of it is amazing and Akaza's lil gigles during the fight make me incredibly happy. Guys who laugh/giggle mid combat? Ugh >\\x//<

Currently Watching:

Demon Slayer, Chainsaw man, Tokyo ghoul (im rewatching a bunch of animes) Steven universe. (i love all of these and full recommend them. I literally just yesterday(or the day before idk time is a blur) got a new funko pop, it's the half-kakuja kaneki and i love it.)

Other stuff i've watched this year:

Spy x Family, the Junji ito Collection, Yamishibai (if you like picture style art and horror this is great, its somewhat junji ito like, but shorter stories and ngl the zanbai ep scared me a bit) psychpass (some reccomended this to me cause im (obviously) a fan of darker more gruesome shows, and it is very dystopian, love the art work, but i just dont get it.) Given (if you havent watched this show please watch it its amazing) Yuri on ice, Banana Fish (also another fave)

(I work from home, and pretty much exist at my computer, and need to keep on music or tv to keep the bad thoughts out, so i have a lot of time and opportunity to watch stuff ok)

Shows I dropped this week:

Psycho pass. again, i just couldnt get into it. I know a lot of people seem to really like and it full seems like a show that would be up my alley. that first ep was kind of a lot though. I'm not ashamed to admit i love shows that are unafraid to show nudity and violence but the two together (ifykyk) make me uncomfortable. If this case had been a little further in the show i think it would have been fine, but it's litterally the first like ten minutes of the show. I also tried watching this a few week ago while at wasteland but we were pretty much just out the door.

Devil May Cry. I still love the games and the characters, and i remember loving the anime as a kid but its just... so different from the games lmao.

Currently Reading:

random internet stuff, fics and shit. I feel bad because i used to go to the library all the time but at the same time, i dont really have the room to store a whole bunch of books and despite being super dyslexic, i read insanely fast, so renting/buying books isnt worth it to me. (i've read entire full length series in the span of a day or two, while doing other stuff. I need longer, more conveniently packaged novels and that typically comes in the form of fanfiction. )

tagging: @snowmutant @ivanpahdrylakeracer @glaochormfitheach(idk if ur cool tagging you in this kinda stuff, if not just lmk i though it'd be fun :D) @the-soup-witch(im dragging you into tumblr culture whether you like it or not, welcome to tagging games)

[woomycritiques543]

https://twitter.com/DailyMordecai/status/1656067067986993157?s=19

Read this.....

They're now calling Erin anti-trans over some shit Morgana said.

These people are literally one step towards being sued by Erin, I swear, and the fact that they're doing this to take advantage of the fact that freelance workers cant legally defend themselves is disgusting. Also, here's the evidence Ken posted od the fact that he was not a groomer (as far as ive heard... so take this was a grain of salt.) and this was all taken out of context to slander him:

(Sorry, I forgot to add the document it was late when I wrote this!)

Either way, this is all just slander with no evidence, they're depserate to erase the evidence out of fear of a CARTOON SHOW being cancelled from their own actions, as if the cartoon is somehow the "only!" thing that matters and not other human lives...

A "TERF!" is a serious claim that can blacklist someone from the industry, so it's clear that Jayman knew this, which is why they decided to slander Erin for coming out about her mistreatment:

Also, a well known voice actor defended this with "YOU DONT KNOW A VA'S RESPONSIBILITIES!" when Ignis watched the episode?!

-and if you know that there's trans erasure, why would you continue to support the person who's erasing your community's representation?!

WHY WOULD YOU NOT SPEAK OUT IF YOU'RE BEING ERASED AND SAW IT HAPPEN?!

WHY WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO SUPPORT A SHOW THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC?!

If Squidder can say something when it's not their "responsibility" to speak out about an animator's responsibility, if Erin, someone who had no part in the actual episode, can say something, Ignis could have as well!

They're just digging the graves of their own reputations at this point. Wow...

Also offtopic but...

Jayman is honestly such a desperate clout chaser, the whole time, all they did was suck the dicks of people's follow counts.

What a miserable human being... goddamn.

[rubyfire777]

personal update 9.30.2023 🌷🌻🌼🐛🦋🍀

good things that happened this week:

i took lily out for her early birthday dinner, since she was going to be out of town. we shared a fancy grilled cheese and an order of scotch eggs at a fantasy themed bar ❤❤❤

we got to hang out really late together before her really early flight. we watched fallen angels which was a really beautiful movie, then g4m3rs which was not a beautiful movie but was still fun to watch with her. we snuggled a lot 🥺❤❤❤ i ended up falling asleep before she had to get ready to go but only for a couple hours, and i was able to wake up to (coherently) say goodbye and that i love her and give her a kiss :)

i prepped a big meal that was kind of a mess but ended up being really good and feeding me for several days without having to worry

movie night with quint! the movie we watched, oldboy, disappointed but i was glad to watch it with him all the same

i had a very efficient chores day on thursday where i got lots done and pretty much cleaned the whole house. i felt really accomplished without feeling like i pushed it too hard

i finished up a chunk of writing ive been putting off! and feel a little more in the writing mood as a result

bowling night was just me and darren this week so we went to that really good barbecue place again instead of getting pizza and bowled a couple games and played some air hockey :)

hung out with my dad for a few hours on saturday! i got to show him f-zero 99 and talk to him about cool modern indies and eat pizza with him and be reminded of how much he has and continues to learn and grow. i feel very grateful that we've come so far and very happy that hes becoming a happier person

i had time to listen to lots of new stuff this week!! and some of it was really really good

my wife just generally having fun on her trip :) <333

noticing ptsd progress this week :)

new art experiences:

albums:

surgery (machinery of the human heart, 2022)

hang-ups (phone call, 2016)

shrapnel flux: veiled terminal (purity filter, 2022)

digital princess (keisari / turbo, 2019)

club angels ep (jensen interceptor & dj fuckoff, 2022)

mocomoco (plissh, 2011)

welcome to aloe island (aloe island posse, 2014)

blood eagle (sabrepulse, 2015)

platonic planet (koto, 2015)

bye bye teens lullaby (koto, 2018)

magical metamorphosis (ghost data, 2017)

movies:

fallen angels (dir. wong kar-wai, 1995)

g4m3rs: a documentary (dir. kiyash monsef, 2002)

oldboy (dir. park chan-wook, 2003)

[voidcat]

ive never watched kn8 tell me all about narumi…. esp if you have a self ship with him!!

SORRY FLORA IM REPLYING SO LATE IVE BEEN TRYIN TO GATHER THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE !!! i'll have u know (idc if i said it before) but ive been so giddy and kicking my feet ever since i got this ask from you aaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! <33

i'll.. talk about him a lil bit with spoilers too (manga spoilers + b sides manga spoilers for his background) bc yeah while i call him a loser and all the alternatives i like him a lot and how he reflects the emptiness he has within him with "bratty actions" others usually reprimend him for !!

so for basic info: in kn8 its humans vs the creatures/monsters refered to as kaiju and the main force in japan against them is japan anti kaiju defense force- it has several divisions and each division has its officers, platoon leaders and a captain. narumi is the captain of the first division and the strongest anti kaiju combatant... to fight off kaiju the equipment used by forces is evangelion like, in the sense that they use kaiju biomaterials to make the battlesuits, weapons and whatnot bc i think essentially, kaiju are like,,, alive beings mutated in a way. some of them are too animal, plant or fungi like (also recent chapters had a mini thing regarding mina's tiger, which kinda supports this for me lol)

(manga spoilers) as a child he lost his parents to kaiju attacks early on and lived as an orphan, runs into jakdf forces during an attack and theyre shocked to see him easily slay kaiju using a dead kaiju's arm bc its hard to wield kaiju biomaterial without smt to enhance (like the suits) then showing compatibiliy with one of the strong suits/weapons its like bonus points for narumi to be picked by them. its like his found family. except the father figure he had there is a distant grieving father who only cares about results (a trait narumi picks up from him) so no matter the location, status and importance, he is in a way, forever craving to be cared for, to be told that he did a good job without being scolded. buuuut also he is a little bit of a mess, has an online shopping addiction, searches up his name online to see what has been said about him ("ego surfing") cool demeanor but once u meet him, his personality just makes u " -_- tf u mean this is the strongest?"

aaaand for our selfship while im debating this fic im planning and a separate one- either scenario we meet through work– i;'m more on the medical/research side of things and we just... dont like each other at frst LMAO i loudly shit on him few times and call him out on his bs and he is nooot happy abt it ONE BIT. it baffles him that unlike everyone he has met idgaf abt his status as a captain and while i maintain the chain of respect, i still find subtle ways to shittalk his ass<3

so he takes the last dessert at cafetaria as payback, picks up my mail orders and crashes the medical room w stupid excuses to create more paperwork for me (he def pretends to have low blood pressure bc he enjoys my hands on his bicep while i do a quick checkup on him... likes it more when im rough- which, with him, i am most of the time)

he always crashes our office on the days i bring smt ive baked and eats half of it and secretly watches as i interact and converse with the cats near the base<3 he finds it cute (tried to make fun of me for being a lonely loser for talking with cats but he kinda wishes he was the one getting belly rubs instead of the clingy tabbycat)

on the evenings departments of first division decide to hold events or gatherings, he normally doesnt join but after i invite him (i pitied his ass and also i lost a bet, thus was forced to invite him in person), he never misses a single one. always sits near me but not next to me, sometimes tries to arrive last bc he noticed i usually pick seatings people will take last. there was a karaoke night one time and while everyone was p much shitfaced and drunk, in his tipsy haze, he watched me in awe as the bright colors of the screen reflected off my face and how i just sang without a care (i thought everyone had passed out by then...)

[claennis]

Mahler’s 2nd with MTT, LSO and LSC, Alice Coote and Siobhan Stagg (20.10.24)

As MTT stepped out onto the stage and the audience erupted into applause, I could already feel emotional. Earlier this year, I made an off the cuff decision to purchase tickets to see Sunday’s performance without thinking about logistics. 2024 would usher in MTT turning 80 (in 2021, he was diagnosed with glioblastoma). I spent the late 90s-early 2010s seeing him conduct with the SFS and collecting his recordings with my late mother. There was a lot of nostalgia and memory attached to the event and it was building up to the moment he walked up to his stand, turning to us, the audience with a smile and saluting with his baton.

Mahler and MTT have become synonymous over the last three decades and I’ve only become semi-familiar with Mahler through the Keeping Score documentaries. MTT has been devoted to delivering Mahler’s ingenious craft through his entire career and so I knew we would be part of something special. Jonathan and I have listened to the “Resurrection” symphony on our own, read the pamphlet’s take—though nothing could prepare us for how immense, how powerful, how intense this piece of work is.

Mahler’s 2nd features an over-100 symphony (we’re talking every section was doubled: two timpani’s and eight double basses! not to mention, off-stage percussion and trumpets) and an over-100 LSO chorus so if you can picture it, the stage was completely filled out. It consists of 5 movements with the final divided into 3 subsections—it has 26 parts, took Mahler 6 years to compose and has a duration of 90 minutes. A wonderful quote from Mahler himself that there is no necessitation in explaining the “meaning of his Second symphony”; that he “was in no way concerned with the detailed setting…but rather of a feeling.”

A feeling?! More like a vast, dizzying array of all the feelings that human beings are capable of experiencing yet can’t quite make out. Mahler’s music is abstract, hard to describe, occasionally baffling so personally by movement:

I. With serious and solemn expression throughout: my favourite. I love the introduction of the nervous string tremolo with the double basses and cellos bringing forth the grim motif. Mahler has a thing for funeral marches but this is no funeral march you or I are familiar with. It’s dark, relentless and what a way to throw an audience into what feels like water rapids in the deep unknown.

II. Very moderate, never rushing: it’s a waltz! Kind of. If you watched TSoM, it would remind you of the Ländler (that pinnacle of romance!) and it’s a bit of light and hope contrasted against that fore-bearing introduction.

III. Calmly flowing: this bit is sarcastically jolly; brightness with an edge. It ends abruptly and jarringly.

IV: Very solemn but simple, like a chorale: mezzo-soprano Alice Coote is a powerhouse! she’s got such timbre and projection. She blew soprano Siobhan Stagg out the water later on.

V. Scherzo tempo: in a wild outburst: the finale has three sections bookmarked by moments of absolute stillness. You could hear a pin drop in the hall, that was how quiet those pauses were. Here were the off-stage horn and percussion calls and each time, the orchestra would swell a bit more than the previous until the chorus joins in, then the soprano and mezzo-soprano. As the entirety builds up to its final climax like Hansel’s Messiah complete with the sound of chimes as church bells, you could see the audience perching on the edge of their seats. The end is coming and you’re just waiting for that ultimate culmination of triumph—gates of heaven opening, there’s the resurrection.

The moment that last note was breathed, played, let loose into the atmosphere of the hall, the audience erupted into a 10 minute standing ovation. I felt like crying again because it was just pure respect and adoration pouring out into that hall. It felt like the world showed up for MTT; in that diverse audience of young and old, locals and internationals, no one wanted it to end (an encore after Mahler wouldn’t be right). MTT had a chair but he never really sat in it. The fervour of his conducting has toned down a bit but it didn’t lack the vibrancy to carry this enormous, massive work through to its end. He would do this again on Wednesday night, as I overheard another audience member preen about the fact he was coming to the Barbican again.

I don’t know if I’ll see MTT conduct again, which made Sunday night feel once in a lifetime to me and that I had the opportunity to share my love for classical music, a piece of my old home, San Francisco via MTT with my other half—it does bring a lot of emotions to the forefront. Life has been gruelling—Jonathan and I work in difficult settings. But as artist and writer Charlie Mackesy once said, “These notes can thread together to heal a broken heart.”

[ultraferal]

i want people to understand this about me before i disappear for another 3 months again. i do not identify as either a anti or a pro-shipper. i am a human being who believes sexualizing a child in ANY form, whatsoever, is abhorrent and disgusting. laws have been built and are being built for the purpose of that very thing.

now with that aside i’m going to say something controversial. i LOVE the Hannibal series. the one with mads, also known as peepaw. some very far far far far crazy “antis” believe it should be abolished and it sexualizes cannibalism. i believe exploring dark things like Hannibal should ALWAYS be allowed because we live in a free country. what i don’t do while enjoying Hannibal, i do not get a sexual gratification from it and i don’t condone cannibalism. i just simply like the dark aspects and exploration that is covered in the show. if i personally sexualized cannibalism and wanted to cannibalize someone then that would be another situation! you can enjoy media without sexualizing it or condoning it.

on the hand, sexualizing children in media in any form isn’t right, period. because when i watch hannibal i’m not getting off to the idea of someone eating another person or the idea of myself eating another person. the people who sexualize child characters, talk about wanting to fuck the child characters, fantasying about them being raped by a dog, by their caregiver, is when you have to draw the line. i draw the line there and many many many other people do, as alot of “antis” refer to themselves as normal people and normal people don’t sexualize children in any form. that’s just the hard truth. if you are imagining having sex with a child in any form, its a problem you should handle with a professional.

i do not believe in callout posts on tumblr UNLESS it’s someone like ciel star, who had this huge following online and just a big online presence in general with his youtube and it’s how he gathered all his victims. the times on here ive made any post about a person i find to be a red flag is because they approached me first. otherwise, i will always tell you to report it to the authorities for them to investigate. ive reported many tips many different times for people ive seen that concerned me with their speech and behavior, and i make a tip because its not my right to handle something that could so easily be not true or made up. investigators VERIFY before pursuing anything and by verifying i mean pulling apart what tip or report has been given before even going toward the idea of a charge. sometimes throughout these tips, ive gotten calls back from investigators or i didn’t hear from them. thats always the way i tell people on here who are worried about someone is to MAKE A REPORT. put in a tip. if you are that concerned, hand it over to the professionals. this vex/faust shit is a perfect example of why we should always leave these very serious matters in capable hands who can verify and not just believe what we see first hand. for example:

imagine the person, vex, who approached the op of the callout post, didn’t actually do that at all and just made a report. those screenshots are worthy of a literal police report bc they are so concerning and terrifying. you never go to some stranger to fucking make a callout post online who could then give away the fact that you are onto the person who you saw have the sexual conversation about the child with, and they freak out and destroy their shit, thus destroying possible evidence. please use this as a lesson to either anti or proshipper whatever the fuck, make a tip. file a report. its worth it just to be on the safe side as them investigating a person won’t harm them unless they actually are caught doing the crime that they were concerned about in the first place for the tip.

if see a red flag, and it scares you, makes you worried… say something. we shouldn’t wait until its too late to speak up and the person already committed the act and actually offended or sexually abused a child. alot of talk is about caring for the actual children who are assaulted, and its always about when its too late. care when the crime already happened. why do people care only when its too late. so make a report if your worried, help prevent it before its too late. it could actually make a difference in the worst case scenario and the concern is real and justified.

if i receive another anon again about something you saw that disturbed you, im going to say this: send in a tip or file a report.

[pwblogarchive]

November 2004

November 2, 2004

“Complaining Couldnt Touch This Kid.”

i would feel bad ever telling anyone what to do. i have thought for months what i would say or how i should act- ive thought and thought. i don’t like kerry or bush (i like kerry alot more than bush though). i am going to vote for john kerry. i won’t beg you or tell you to do anything. but if you are of voting age and are in a swing state. please think hard and make the choice that fits you best.

peter

November 3, 2004

your princess is in another castle

happyhalloween

November 3, 2004

5:47 pm

booyah

November 4, 2004

“brothers and sisters.”

the smell of fall. leaves. the weakerthans show- "the sidewalks watching me think about you". both ewok movies back to back. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the things they write about me versus how it really goes. the book being in my hands- how we all feel in our skin. sometimes when you're caught you just gotta throw your hands up and confess. the way you smile when you say his name like you never do with me. new songs.

peterpumpkineater

November 7, 2004

“things that mean other things always don't mean a damn thing in the scheme of things”

being home is always a rollercoaster for me. things are good, then ok, then pretty bad, then good, then bad again (not always in that order). im getting by more latley on a pair of really thick glasses and no faith in human beings. as of now i have a pro-tools situation and have been recording things, mostly just making up stuff on the go and seeing how it turns out. so far its fun. ive had a lot of my mind as of latley, just how there's so much good that turns straight to bad and im always like this the night before i leave. certain things are constant struggles for me but i keep fighting them and i dont know why sometimes when i end up feeling wrecked, but i guess my brain is trying to tell me that the few struggles i take on are worth fighting. i dunno anymore. i hope so though, because no one should feel unhappy like i do at a time like this. im not unhappy with my life, just unhappy with an aspect of it. otherwise things are pretty ok. i took my dog ben on a walk today and he was running around a lot. i picked him up a few times though he is getting far too large for that and will so be too heavy. i saw some of my friends today, not everyone that i wanted to or everyone as long as i would like to. but the people i spent my time with were more than worthy of it. the one thing that bugs me about going away for long periods of time is when i get home i feel like everything has changed around me to a degree where i cant keep up. like im a step behind every time i get home. eh, late night thoughts.

November 11, 2004

“drop it like its hot”

The day spent dreading flying. I am scared to fly for some reason. Make it to las vegas. Our flight to l.a. Was cancelled. Drove from vegas to l.a. Began working on the songs. Me and patrick are sharing an apartment here, so are joe and andy. Its like old times. The weather is amazing. There are so many good shows here. Went to over it. Gonna try and see morrissey in a couple of days. Hung out with my friend kate from the fight. She's rad. We went up on muholand drive and saw the entire city. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe. She says the word "vitamins" funny cause she's british. She also say the word "safe" a lot and calls sneakers trainers. Their record comes out next week. I command you to buy it. I miss home but this record is going to be worth it. I promise. Its going to make you think about things in a new way.

Sorry for the boring journal entry. I realize I didn't get the closure I wanted from take this to your grave. This record will have the most brutally honest words I have ever written.

That's all. Lets get hitched and grow old.

Peterpan

November 14, 2004

“I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your fucking mouth”

We've got about 23 songs right now. Were gonna cut it down and figure them out. Its strange staying in one place for so long. If you're watching tv tommorrow- we snuck some tickets for the american music awards- I'm sure well be like a million rows back but well try to start a fight or spill a drink on someone famous on camera so you can get a laugh. I'm sure they'll never let us stop by again...

Peterpumpkineater

November 15, 2004

“finally an entry that doesnt involve joe's general tso's chicken”

the AMAs were less than interesting as i am sure anyone who watched knows. ana nicole smith was fucking faded as hell. it was like watching a blondehaired trainwreck. walked onto the red carpet by accident but we are so unfamous that we didn't even get in trouble. got to eat good food and people watch at stupid parties. hung out with my buddy chad and some kids. watched kanye west with like thirty other people- kanye west is amazing. im getting pretty sleepy. maybe ill think of something better in the morning.

im

just

out

of

chances

p

November 15, 2004

we only do it for the attention.

I'm just a broken emo record.

Time to retreat to other areas.

You know where to find. Or maybe you don't.

me and patrick are gonna go cry and hold hands.

Wink. Smile.

Peter

November 17, 2004

4:16 pm

“after the party theres the hotel lobby”

yeahyeahyeah. we're becoming so l.a. psyche! anyway. i dont have much to say except the weather is radical here. after our chicago metro show on dec 29- we're gonna have an after party and prescreen the release the bats dvd- maybe youll hear about it and stop by. youll laugh. youll cry.

laterskater

November 24, 2004

“its too bad you only look so goddamned beautiful when you're crying your eyes out”

i am going to do a better update soon. but just to say- the recording is coming along. andy is almost done with drums. his hair is so flowing. like a pony. nyc was amazing as usual. we have some suprises coming up. (if you don't like suprises than you also probably don't like saturdays, palm trees, puppies, ice cream, first kisses, etc). fuse was fun. thanks for coming out and hanging out, i felt pretty dorky and was a glad there were some people there. im sorry i had to leave right from there to my plane, so i am sorry i couldn't stick around and hang out. we'll be there all day on dec. 26th to make up for it. also, it was definitely weird being anywhere with out the rest of the band so don't expect too much of that. we are attatched at the hip.

you can get "the boy with the thorn in his side" at select hottopic's starting this week. if yours doesn't have it, ask them to order it for you.

more later. peter

oh yeah to the girl who gave me the signed morrissey picture and jetted before i could thank, THANK YOU.

November 26, 2004

their eyes are like pills. its funny. the blue ones take to you down. the brown ones pick you up. it doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in life. they are there to mark the chapters. highlights so you pay attention to the changes. dogeared pages. the way she looked at me the first time- all the blood ran out of me. with the biggest eyes. that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived. so i blinked. i faked like i couldnt tell. i was always so goddamned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. and i cant count the times i crushed them. and you realize that they will never look up at you the same.

i cant blame you for giving up on me.

join the club.

i have a lifetime membership.

- petey

November 28, 2004

“professor murder”

ok so my new shoes are kind of bad looking. but i like them. both are dunks. one are lowtops and pretty much are bears colors, the others are high tops and are white and blue. i own way more than 5 bad pairs of shoes. i own about 11 that only i enjoy and are not here to impress anyone. they know i love them and i let them know that at least once a day. maybe ill take a group picture of them for you if i get around to it. what i really wanted to say is im sorry i got into xbox so late, but i just wanted everyone to know that just because i started play knights of the old republic 4 days ago doesn't mean i haven't almost beaten it yet. because im just that close. and i made sure to buy the new lord of the rings rpg for such cases where i will need a new video game. but when kotor2 comes out, i will be learning so many force powers you'll wish the force was with you too. but its not. its mostly with me. my dog gets to have some too cause he can jump really high and can still be picked up even though he is teetering on 70 pounds at only 5 months. good job ben! you're growing up! he's probably more a dark jedi because he still nips a little and thinks it's real cool to pee when he gets excited. sorry ben, not cool my friend. just funny. anyhoo, its been a while since ive given a list of what i currently enjoy. here is such a list:

music:

owen-i do perceive

aloha-here comes everyone

pig destroyer-terrifyer

brian wilson-smile

interpol-antics

isis-panopticon

tusk-tree of no return

frank zappa-broadway the hard way

video games:

star wars knights of the old republic-xbox

lord of the rings the third age-ps2

star wars jedi academy II-xbox

grand theft auto san andreas-ps2

dvds:

aqua teen season 3

home movies season 1

arrested development season 1

star wars 2: clone wars

tv:

tom goes to the mayor

internet:

yahoo mail

food:

chicken in most any form

[xiuminscheeks]

WOOO new ep yet again :D and im on time too! Last ask i sent was a couple days after the ep aired, cos it took me a while to get round to watching it 😅 anyway ok so:

-How did mr lee get away w that. How did mr jin just accept him pulling a sword on him like WHAT sldjksk. in what world would he not be terrified or at least concerned. Or call for help or something? He just walks off????

Then when he does bring it up its like ahhh he just seemed kinda off yknow? LIKE YEAH he threatened to kill you with a fucking sword in his hand T.T

-GIRL cover your mouth when you cough...

-The snuggling is so soft goddamit, and im a sucker for a sick character being gently taken care of >.< theyre so endlessly sweet ARGH i need someone to cuddle. Where is a guy supposed to find a man like eunwoo in this economy tho. Sigh

-Please..PLEASE cover your mouth when you cough i beg. The whole lot of them theyre just as bad as each other help

-Yul: "ah with your superior instincts youve sensed theyre dating 😌 theyve been trying to keep it a secret, so keep quiet please 😉"

Min ji: "😐"

Yul: *silently, but with a lot of emotion* "..fuck"

-FUCK YEAH MORE HISTORICAL FLASHBACKS!!!!

-Are we finally gonna get the backstory... i bet its gonna be a misunderstanding plot how much do we wanne bet its a miscommunication plot. They've set up mr lee/mountain spirit too kindly to have him be a full villain i feel. Like they show an equal amount of moments that paint him in a positive light to ones that portray him as a villain. So its gotta be something like a miscommunication plot or a 'redeemed at the final moment of death' or some shit, i can feel it.. (and if im wrong. Well fuck me lol)

-Aw even back in time they were fucking adorable. But I have to say the mountain spirit romance plot takes the cake this episode for me, the tsundere storyline always wins 😔 im easy to please,,, now if only they couldve stayed happy on the mountain with the puppy kid T.T altho it feels weird when translated to the modern day cos while she was a married woman in the flashback shes a whole student in present day 💀

-But i am endlessly charmed by the mountain spirit and his pretty brown eyes and his trying so hard not to get attached to the fragile mortals <3 Also i think i reaallllly vibe with the historical aspect so ill pick up a historical drama from your list next (i still havent started another one yet sksjsk)

-My misunderstanding plot theory gains momentum! Mountain spirit looked away for literally the exact second she got stabbed and just assumes it was the dude like. I mean i get it but gAHHhhh!!

-Now now mountain spirit. Step away from the dog. Please dont kill the dOG-.... Ah.. Too late ... (unrelated but why is the vet sleeping at the animal hospital sksjsj? Protestant work ethic strikes again)

-So anyway this episode was made just to make me fall deeper in love with mr mountain spirit 😔 and im really looking forward to confict and confrontations next episode >:] (also thank you for the new recs!!! Ive added them to my list ^.^)

- 🌱

henlo! its always so fun reading your asks!!!!

pls, the coughing with the mouth open had me so mad afsfgsg i cant stand that. at least we got cute ass snuggling tho, so I felt better

the flashbacks had beautiful cinematography and we finally got some answers! the mountain spirit is cute :( he really has such pretty puppy eyes.

I agree that something major happened when he looked away. my theory is that she shaman girl will remember what really happened and let him know, and end that 200 year beef.

also, I'm pretty sure that the uncle wont die. I feel like he wll return to his human form, cause the mountain spirit will break the curse.

2 more days for the new ep!!

[highpriestess-stuff]

Path 11

08/15/1995 =

0+8+1+5+1+9+9+5 = 38 3+8= 11

So yesterday i basically discovered that i am life path 11 and above shows you my birthdate and then the math done to get the number 11. The number 11 however turns out to be a master number i dont know what on earth made me wants to discover that but im pretty sure it had to do with after hanging up on the phone call with my aunt i just poured my heart out to hear about all thats been going on with me and what led me to be in the place that i am now and she just said to me like how she had such high hopes for me which i just never even knew they thought so highly of me like can you imagine the pressure that puts on someone like yeah i obvsly had higher hopes for myself as well growing up i never ina million years thought i would be in the state that i am now but i dont know all i ever did was just follow my heart never really thought about it twice so it just started making a lot of sense to me as to why i was so so hated on why my family always felt the need to protect me or hide me from the world why that every friend i made would turn so bitter or jealous towards me why did i attract so many broken people all the time why was i always dealing with so many stuggles and so much pain but yet it never seemed to put me down like it would others i loved it & and still carried a smile on my face like u would never be able to tell that ive ever even been through anything which makes sense why people would think like damn this girl has it so easy but i dont i had to go through a lot to get this type or recognition i had to face and put in a lot of work to be where i am today and people dont get that it doesnt just come easy ive had a million stuggles to even be where i am today so anyways i just thought to myself like what is it that others see in me that i just simply dont where i as i just feel like a creature from another place like i never belonged or fit in its insane to me so then i came onto this video on youtube thats about discovering your life path & number 11 is a master number which basically to summarize is a number for starseeds and lightworkers which i kinda thought i always was with my whole empathetic nature but to know why i came here and what i came to do finding that out was a very deal for me because ive been wondering that so much lately ever since i was born all i could think of is how much i wanted to help this earth i dont know why like i would be watching tv at the age of 6 and just looking at those poor malnutritioned kids from africa on tv and my heart would melt and i would just say to myself when i grow up im going to adopt each and everyone of you like isnt that crazy i got so lost in my own life and feeling so sorry for myself clearly i mustve been in the best place in my life at that age for me to think like that i always had the stangest thoughts that my teachers would tell me my mom like i knew these things about the world that not many could really comprehend its like i have a book of knowledge of my own in myself but yet i still love the knowledge that i receive from others basically to summarize life path 11s are here to heal the world their here for humanity and lately for the past couple of years being so lost and selfish i forgot what my soul purpose was i feel so connected with myself right now having discovered this because i felt so lost for the longest time like why do i have all these abilities i wanted to stop helping people and just be to myself because people just drain me but what i learned was that im going to have to put myself out there and kind of just create a balance with the 2 even tho ima a shy person and i want to hide behing people i was born to be a leader and share me knowledge and wisdom with the world because this world is being run by people who dont care for us they only care for themselves and thats why people like me are here to help humanity to lead them back to spiritual world the spiritual realm i am a healer this is why i attract broken ppl thats why when people see me they start believing in god omg it makes so much sense -

[lesbolieeh]

The Notebook

Best friend!Jeon Somi ✦ Crush!Fem!Reader

WC—3.1 ✦ k

WARNING—anxiety ✦ titles/ pet names

THEMES—light angst ✦ best friend au ✦ crush au ✦ future fluff (?)

NOW PLAYING—DUMB DUMB ✦ SOMI

[A/N.] i’m rly sorry for being away for so long but the news abt soojin has taken the fun out of kpop for me. i’m still trying to process it but for now i’ll just rewrite old fics from my wp and post them so i don’t leave u guys w/o queer content!

언니 (unnie) = older sister

M.LISTS—f!idols ✦ latest updates

All rights reserved © lesbolieeh

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Today was one of those bad fucking days.

One of those days when you can't find any positivity in anything.

One of those days when you don't feel like talking to the people you love the most.

One of those days when you just want to give up.

The first thing you saw in the morning was a the notification of a text from your girlfriend.

Looking at the white speech bubble is something you usually look forward to when you see Sakura's name bright up your screen, knowing she always has something entertaining to tell.

But this particular morning she said something you wish were a joke.

BabyKura

[ive been thinking lately and i think we need a break ___]

My gf🤠💦

[You're not going to tell me why?]

Seen 10:17

You asked her the first thing that came to your mind.

She couldn't possibly just expect you to be OK with having a break without a reason, right?

After an hour you accepted the fact that she had left you on read and that she wasn't going to reply anytime soon.

Maybe it was because she called you ___.

She never called her by your name.

Only your friends called you that.

She was supposed to call you weird or cheesy pet names and nothing else!

Maybe it was because you had noticed that she'd gotten distant.

But that didn't matter, because she left you with no answers.

She left you with a headache.

She left you with your bad thoughts and theories.

Damn you, Sakura.

It was very human-like of you to be in a bad mood.

Only a robot would feel nothing in this situation.

The day couldn't get any worse. You were going to make sure of it! Your mood may have been bad, but you weren't going to let anyone else get affected by it. Lashing out on innocent people because you don't feel good on the inside is something you hated doing.

Today you were going to hang out with your best friend, Somi, at a nice secluded area by the nearest river. You had planned out a picnic with the classic blanket and basket consisting of your favorite foods and snacks that were small enough to actually fit into the small ass (but cute) basket. For a whole week you hadn't met up and you both missed each other and wanted to make up for the days you had spent apart so of course you went for the nice, cliché picnic hang out session.

But no.

You weren't going to meet her and ruin her parade with the rain cloud that was following you around wherever you went since the morning.

No, you weren't going to let the first time you meet in such a long time be ruined by the sad but somewhat expected news you got this ugly morning.

언니 ❤️

[I can't hang out today, sorry]

Princess Somi

[why not?☹️]

언니 ❤️

[I'm not feeling too well]

Princess Somi

[it's ok i'll get some soup for u😊]

언니 ❤️

[No, you don't need to, I don't want you to get sick!]

Princess Somi

[but ive missed u sm☹️]

언니 ❤️

[We'll meet another day I promise to make up for this!]

And so you put the phone gently on the table (lol) to lay on the sofa and binge watch some random show. You made sure to turn your phone off first since you knew you'd cut Sakura some slack in case you read any persuasive text from her — she's good with words and making you feel loved.

Whilst you were looking through all the lists Netflix had created for you, which were filled with movies and series you either had already seen or weren't interested in, Somi was still expectantly waiting for her screen to go bright.

She must be joking, she thought.

Excitement had filled her body from the moment she opened her eyes this morning. You hadn't hung out for a whole week and she had missed you. Spending time with you was one of her favorite hobbies!

Needless to say, she liked you a little more than a best friend should and that was a bit of a problem.

For so long she'd known that it was a bad idea to like you. You didn't like her in the same way, and you even had a girlfriend for pete's sake — and a really pretty one at that! But no matter how many red flags there were, she still wanted to spend every day with you. She wanted to be the only one you called Princess. She wanted to be the main person you spent your time on. She wanted your attention to be on her. She didn't want a week to go by without being with you.

Wondering why you called Somi Princess when you already were in a relationship?

Well, Princess had been Somi’s nickname before you even met Sakura (yes, you'd known Somi longer than you'd known Sakura, yet you still found yourself in a relationship with gher). And though your girlfriend never liked it, you had convinced her it was just a friendly pet name.

Because it was.

To you.

To Somi it the closest she'd ever feel to being your girlfriend.

But you started using that pet name less ever since Sakura came around and ruined everything more than it already was ruined.

She loathed Sakura.

Sakura was always the reason why you couldn't hang out with your bestfriend for too long, why you couldn't call him Princess on certain occasions and why you couldn't look at her as a potential girlfriend.

Sakura was an attention thief.

Not really.

But it felt like it.

Somi was jealous of everything Sakura had with you.

Because your girlfriend obviously was a threat, Somi felt like she needed even more validation than before (which was already a lot). She needed your attention. If you ignored her she'd think it was your way of telling her that you had left her completely for Sakura.

Ridiculous!

She shouldn't feel like you owe attention to her.

Again, your friendly (fucking) friendship was the closest thing Somi had to being together with you in the way she really wanted, thus she valued it a lot. Not having you as her girlfriend was hurtful enough, but not having you as even her friend would break her.

Like normal, she needed your validation.

Unlike normal, she wasn't getting it.

You weren't validating your time together, nor your friendship — or at least it felt like it.

Emotional Somi’s smile dropped and so did her excitement for the day.

Was this the end?

She knew that spending one week without each other would lead to more time for you to spend with your damn girlfriend but she didn't know it would lead to the end of your friendship.

No way she'd bail on our plans.

Princess Somi

[can i pls come over? the food will b bad tmw and i dont want it to go to waste😬]

Princess Somi

[idc if i get sick or not bc i still wanna hang out w u]

Princess Somi

[pls 언니]

Sent 11:33

You had ignored her only once before and it was a horrible experience.

The way you ignored her (on accident) was so painful that she had to leave the gathering that she had looked forward to for so long, confusing the others, to go and lock herself in a bathroom so she could cry without bothering anyone. You'd gone right after him since you knew it wasn't very Somi-like to leave a fun time for no reason. After you had knocked and reassured her you were her best friend and not someone there to make fun of her, she let you in.

The sight you were met by was her crumbling figure on the floor and overflowing tears on her cheeks.

She had thought that you wanted nothing to do with her.

Stupid you didn't see the obvious sign.

It was because of the fact that you hadn't paid any attention to her that Somi'd gotten the idea that you had grown bored of her or that you wanted to leave her for Sakura (but she didn't tell you the latter part, of course).

How much your lack of attention and affection for her had affected her was scary.

And a fucking sign, you idiot.

Ever since that incident you'd made sure to always remind her of how much you valued your friendship.

Except for today.

She thought she had made it clear enough to you that you never ever should ignore her unless you really meant it. Unless you really wanted them to part ways.

Therefore she thought that you wanted to go from the bestest friends to cold acquaintances.

Some people might think it's crazy to be this attached to a best friend but you weren't just her best friend. You were her love and happiness.

Without you she didn't have either.

Five minutes passed since she triple texted you and she still had no reply.

Slowly she felt how her tummy was turning into knots and how her eyes started stinging.

Princess Somi

[ur making me worried]

Princess Somi

[hey!!]

Princess Somi

[r u ignoring me?☹️]

Princess Somi

[unless u have corona, meet me by the river at 7 if u care abt me. i need to talk to u abt smth important]

Sent 12:00

If you didn't show up then she knew for sure that you had left her behind forever. If you did show up then she'd confess to you. So spontaneous. She couldn't keep her feelings inside for another year because it wasn't healthy and she knew it. She knew she would have to tell you about her feelings sooner or later. And after being without you for a whole ass week and after experiencing the cruel punishment that is being ignored and even thinking you broke your dear friendship off, she knew the time had come for her to confess.

Whilst she was anxiously thinking through why she made such a bold move and possibly ruined any future she had with you, the girl she loved was casually being lazy and stuffing her face in pillows in front of a TV.

two seasons of random show later...

Tossed between blankets and an overflow of pillows, you roared like a lion. You hadn't eaten anything yet. Maybe it was time to do something other than numbing your feelings with Netflix and the drinks (soda if you're underage) you had at home?

As you stood up you felt heavy. You had moved maximum 50 meters in the past few hours — to go to the bathroom and back to the living room — and it had taken a toll on your body physically.

Fuck.

You sat back down on your sofa and brought your phone to view after hours without it.

[6 new messages from Princess Somi]

Fuck.

The last message was sent so long ago.

You looked at your windows. It was dark outside.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

As fast as you physically could, you put on a pair of shoes and a jacket with your aching limbs.

In just a few minutes you were behind the steering wheel and driving as fast as you were legally allowed to. Because of the quarantine the roads were almost empty and that made it thankfully more convenient for you to get by.

The whole ride to the river was filled with you thoughts putting you down. Your favorite person in the world was emotional and you knew it. You hurt her. You let her down. You were supposed to not let your bad mood affect anybody around you. But who were you kidding? Of course something had to go wrong with an idea you constructed and analyzed for four microseconds.

Before you knew it you had arrived to the destination.

But to your fear, the parking lot was empty.

Fucking empty.

You didn't even feel the pain in your legs anymore, the pain in your heart had taken over any feelings you had before.

Were you too late?

Had she gone?

It wouldn't be shocking, it was past midnight after all.

You were naive enough to think that isolating yourself from your bestfriend [who didn't have corona] and your phone would help solving your problems, so you were certainly naive enough to go and check if Somi was still at your meeting place although there was no trace of her here.

Every step towards the place you were supposed to meet at hours ago was tough.

What if she wasn't there?

What if she was there?

On a bench by the water that was shimmering from the moonlight was a thin, tall silhouette. Your eyes widened. Could it be...?

Sniffles.

That's the sound that came from their direction.

You walked closer and could make out the lines of a figure that was all too familiar.

"Princess?"

The silhouette turned around and though it was dark you could see that it in fact was her. You quickly sat down beside her and noticed that a couple of notebooks were scattered on the ground next to a bike.

So that's how she got here.

After another particularly loud sniffle you turned your attention back to her. The light of the moon was illuminating her figure but exposed the redness and tears on her face. For hours she'd been outside and her face was still wet with tears.

"Why are you still out at this hour?"

She choked on her tears and rested her face in her hands, "Because I'm a fool."

"No, you're not a—"

"Why are you here?" she interrupted you.

Touché.

"You told me to meet you if I care about you."

"You weren't here at seven, so you already proved that you don't care about me," she hurried out before her voice could crack.

"If I didn't care about you I wouldn't show up at all," you spoke with a soft tone. The last thing you wanted was to be harsh, especially since you were the reason your bestfriend was upset.

"Why did you do this to me, 언니?" she asked and looked you in the eyes as if she'd find any answers inside them.

"I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I would never hurt you on purpose," you took her hands into yours, oblivious to what the simple gesture did to Somi on the inside.

Her hands were so cold it was shocking that she was shaking because of her crying and not because of the ice-like coldness. That's what happens when you're out for hours when there's no sun — or person — to keep you warm.

"I saw the messages 20 minutes ago and got here immediately. I would never purposely ignore you, Princess."

You made sure to use her nickname in almost every sentence you spoke, silently telling her that you don't want to fight. Slowly you brought her hands to your lips and kissed them lightly, five kisses on each hand for every finger. She looked at your lovely action and felt how her tears were slowing down. The kisses didn't make her warm — maybe for a second — but at least they made her feel somewhat better inside.

"I'm so, so sorry you had to be here in the cold," you apologized and kept her hands in yours as an attempt to warm them.

One part of Somi wanted to continue being mad and make you feel bad for the hurt you'd caused he, but the bigger part wanted you to hold her in your arms. She loved you and couldn't stay mad at you for long even if she tried.

"I-It's OK, 언니. At least you're here now," she whispered and looked at your locked hands, admiring the sight since it may never happen again — or maybe she should make sure her hands are cold—

You sent her a sorrowful smile and let her head rest on your shoulder, resting your own against it as an instinct both from being comfortable and tired.

"From now on I will check if I have any texts every hour for you," you said with an exaggerated joking voice to lighten the mood.

She giggled. You weren't even being that funny but you were both tired and sad, so anything even a tiny bit funny was hilarious to both of you.

"What did you want to tell me before, Princess?" you whispered into her fluffy hair and petted it.

Should she tell you how she feels? Should she possibly ruin this?

Would you ever kiss her hands like you did just now? Would you ever touch her this caringly ever again? Would you continue to call her Princess?

For hours she'd been outside in the cold waiting for the love of her life so she could tell her the truth. But it took time before you, the love of her life, showed up.

When a person is alone outside with notebooks filled with blank pages to write feelings and stories in, it's easy to let emotions take over. She ended up writing around seven songs. Some lyrics were really cheesy and written in the spirit of the moment. Some lyrics didn't even rhyme. Some were a perfect description of where she was in her non-existing love life.

But they all had one thing in common.

They were melancholic and written in the point of view of a woman who was hopelessly in love with her bestfriend.

"Nothing. I just wanted to have a picnic with you, 언니. I was just being dramatic to convince you to come despite feeling under the weather," she lied right through her teeth.

You chuckled lightly, believing her immediately.

"Then where are the snacks?" you asked, confused since the only things around you were notebooks, a bike and water.

"I ate them."

Laughter filled the air; your genuine one and her fake one.

You put your face in her cheek, making her blush (not that you'd notice, since her tears had made her red from before), "Well, my tummy is a lil' too thin right now, so let's go somewhere."

"In the middle of the night?" she questioned.

"Yes," you smiled against his cheek and she felt it, making her smile too.

"OK."

You both were still smiling when you were picking up all the notebooks to get ready for the ride. Jokes were thrown here and there. It was as if nothing had happened. You both knew it was a misunderstanding and you valued the friendship with the other too much to put energy into arguing. And you were tired too, so the argument wouldn't even be that epic even if you tried.

"Wait! We can't leave your bike," you exclaimed suddenly at the realization.

How is it so that when you're tired and alone you're just lazy but when you're tired and with your best friend you're more energetic than usual?

"You know what? Since I was a jerk I'll let you drive my warm car while I ride in the cold," you said impulsively and tossed her your keys.

"B-But, 언니—"

"By now you should know not to try and go against what I say," you interrupted her and sat down on the bike. Anyone who had spoken to you knew you were stubborn.

She laughed. The little sadness she had inside was gone by now. Her cheeks were dry. Still red, but not from crying, now they were red from blushing.

"OK, whatever you say, 언니."

"I warn you, don't break my car or else I'll break you, Princess," you said teasingly.

"I would never~ See you in an hour, 언니," she winked at you and waved with a smile brighter than the moon before making her way to your car.

You waved back to her and got ready to bike — you definitely needed a head start.

But before you started you couldn't help but see something white standing out in the darkness.

It was another one of Somi’s notebooks. You must've been too tired to notice it when you were picking them up. Thankfully the notebook was open or else you wouldn't have noticed it as it had a dark cover. You took it into your hands. To make sure it really was Somi’s you needed to read at least a snippet.

You prayed it was Somi’s because it would worse if you read a stranger's private thoughts than your bestfriend's since you already knew all her secrets.

The snippet was Somi’s.

It was from one of the pages of lyrics that barely rhyme, that was very cheesy but depicted how sappy she was feeling and also told her part of the story of the situation.

I want to feel my best friend's lips on my lips

I want, more than anything, for her to call me HER Princess

So that's what she wanted to tell you.

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❝ 난 네 머리 꼭대기에서 춤춰 you dumb, dumb 영혼까지 끌어 떠는 내숭 결국 이게 다 널 위한거야 Dumb, dumb, dumb 순수한 내 눈빛보고 잔머리 굴리지말고 Let's play, dumb, dumb, dumb ❞

( I'm dancing on top of your head, you dumb, dumb Trying my best to put up a front to impress you At the end, it's all for you Dumb, dumb, dumb When you look into my eyes, don't think too much Let's play dumb, dumb, dumb )

—jeon somi; 2021

[aroaceconfessions]

Trying to come to terms with my Aromantic orientation

Im 18, and like most people here I have never experienced any romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. For a long time I thought that id get ‘crushes’ and these weird 'butterfly feelings’ soon, maybe I was a late bloomer or something, but as soon as I got into Sixth Form I felt that something was off.

I remember back in school, when I was around 14, that everyone was getting into relationships. I even remember helping my friend confess to my other friend. From what I’ve seen from the media, romantic relationship is beautiful and amazing, so I wanted to make my friends happy. But then people started asking who I had a crush on, and I couldn’t respond. At the time I thought I was just too young to experience these feelings, especially since I was the youngest of my year, but I always assumed I was bi or Poly. In my mind since I never experienced attraction to anyone, it meant I must like anyone that way, gender wasn’t important, the person was.

I started looking at terms for who I was when I was around 16, and found the term asexual. I was accepting of it, Ive always hated the idea of sex, and I’m sex repulsed. At that point I still assumed I was poly. But later on, around my 18th birthday, I found the term aromantic, more specifically cupioromantic. And it broke me. In all the books I read and shows I watch the main characters always get together, and it looks amazing. Just someone to cuddle and hold hands with. Some one to tell me that they love me. Some one to sing and dance with. It was amazing to see. But to never experience this at all? I’ve never felt so isolated in my life. My heart completely broke. since I have social anxiety and depression, I thought being in a romanic relationship, or simply just having a crush on someone would trigger something in me to be better. Id have someone to be better for. But I can’t. I want to so badly it hurts. I feel like a freak. Like im cursed. I read about Queer Platonic Relationships, and as nice as that sounds I just want to experience love. I can’t even keep normal friends around me, let alone a friendship like that. I remember when my friend confessed his feelings to me. They are aesthetically pleasing, nice, smart and my only friend since school who stuck around. Ive never felt so scared in my life, and I rarely feel scared. It hurt to refuse him, I didn’t want to break his heart.Ever since I said no, he’s been distant. Why can’t I like him? Why can’t I like anyone? Why cant I be normal human being for once? The only person I’ve told is my father, and that’s only my asexuality. He was supportive, saying he felt the same. And in my head I blamed him, I felt awful for doing so but I do. Like he’s passed this curse onto me. I dont hate aromantic people or anyone on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, in fact im incredibly supportive, but the fact I can’t love has really stuck with me. And I read somewhere that people on the aroace spectrum get more hate, get called broken and robotic. And that they are sometimes ostracised from the LGBTQ community. I dont want to be hated mote than I hate myself

Why can’t my heart be normal?

[catxsnow]

FIVE TIMES DICK GRAYSON HUGS

Request: How about ideas about hugs and cuddles from Dick? Fluff is an important part of a balanced fandom after all

Warning: fluff, mentions of sex but pg, mentions of blood

A/N: A little bit of a different layout but soft nonetheless 

Word Count: 2.2k

i) Dick Grayson in the mornings

Dick always has trouble getting up in the morning. He doesn't like the bright sunlight breaking through his blinds or the loud crashes of his neighbors from getting ready in the mornings. Sleep always calls for him the moment his alarm goes off and he despises the idea of actually having to get out of bed.

He finds himself grabbing at any excuse just to stay a few moments longer. Maybe a 'I showered last night I don't need to this morning' or 'I'll make coffee at home today so I don't have to wait in line'. Any little thing to be able to sleep in for just five more minutes.

It's even more impossible when you're staying with him. He finds himself turning off his alarm only to roll over and snuggle into you. Big arms wrapped around you, legs tangled. He's got the most ridiculous bedhead in the world but god is it adorable on him. Dick's still half asleep and he can't even bring himself to leave a kiss on your cheek.

More times than not he falls back asleep again. It's hard not to when the love of his life is asleep in his arms. However, he often gets in trouble too. Showing up late for work or getting an angry phone call from Bruce or the team that he's not there.

It's impossible to get him off of you too when he's sleepy. Dick becomes completely dead weight and half his body is always on top of yours. Waking him is just as hard. Once he's asleep somewhere he feels safe, he's not getting back up. Mumbles in his mornings voice, squeezing you tighter, he's completely adorable when he's trying to sleep.

“Just a couple more minutes baby.”

Dick likes to blame the reason he gets stuck in bed so often on you - but truth is that's all on him. He's always struggled to get up in the morning and after long nights of being a hero, it doesn't help.

ii) Dick Grayson coming home from a long day

It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, if he's had a terrible day at work, he's swooping you up and carrying you to bed. He doesn't do that very often, only when he's on the verge of a breakdown. So, when he does pull a little stunt like that, you know that he's upset.

“I missed you today, my love.”

He pours his heart out during those times. Venting to you about his issues, his feelings, how frustrated he is that he can't change what's happened. It's heartbreaking to see him like this because he's trying so hard to keep himself together when he's clearly breaking at the seams.

Dick doesn't want you to see him when he's vulnerable and weak like this. He's always supposed to be the strong one. He's supposed to be the one who always knows what to do, who's always going to have a plan. Truth was, he couldn't be that person - at least not all the time. On the days that he couldn't, he looked to you for answers.

He'd find himself wanting you to encase him completely. Dick's safe in your arms, no matter the situation. He knows that this is the time that he can truly break down and you'll always accept him. There's nothing that he ever needs to worry about when he's with you.

Blankets mountain over you both. Dick's got his head on your chest, sometimes your stomach when he's curled up even more than usual. When he's in his bad moods, it's like he needs to hear your heart to remind him that he too is human. He can only handle so much before he snaps. His arms are tight around you, keep you so close that sometimes it's hard to breathe.

In those moments it feels like his hold on you is the only thing keeping him sane, the only thing that's keeping him grounded to earth. Dick has his times where no words can fix his issues, but your actions can. A simple hug, kiss, hand rubbing his back that reminds him that not everything in this world is out to get him.

It's those times that you know to be extra loving with him. Tell him how much you love him, how you adore what he does for this world, how important he is in your life.

iii) Dick Grayson after a night of patrol

Every night, the only thing he has to look forward to is coming back home to you. No matter how many times he gets beaten down, he knows he has to get back up to get home to you. Dick knows you're waiting for him, worried out of your mind as whether or not he'll make it back alive.

So, when he gets back, stripped of his suit and a shower that washes away his dirt and grime of the night, he finally makes his way into bed with you. His body aches from the hits he got, even when he's in the warmth of your bed. He's exhausted by the time he gets home to you, and it's a struggle to even clean himself up.

No matter how tired he is, how sore he is, he always pulls you into his chest to give you a kiss. It's his way of telling you that he's made it home safe, even if he's barely hanging on some days. It's a silent 'I love you' when he can't get the energy to say it out loud.

When he holds you close at night, it's his only way of being able to fall asleep. He doesn't think about the horrors he's seen at night when he's with you, he doesn't think about how much trauma he's been through. All Dick can think about is you, everything that there is about you.

“I’m glad you’re safe and back with me, Dick.” 

“I’ll always come home to you.”

His nightmares don't plague him. He doesn't wake up randomly throughout the night. Being with you lets him be in peace.

When he cuddles you at that point in his day, he envelopes you completely. His arms are tightly wrapped around you so you're flush against his body. Dick nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and his legs are perfectly lined up behind yours. He's found himself reliant on you to be able to fall asleep.

In the winter, when it gets cold out, Dick just absorbs your body heat. He craves it when he's out as Nightwing. The cold winds bite at his skin and he's consumed with the memory of your body warmth. He hates feeling cold when he knows that he could easily quit early and come back to you.

On some lucky nights - or maybe unlucky if you look at it - when his body is really sore, you'll offer up a massage. Dick can never say no. You'll find yourself sitting on his butt as he lays on his stomach. Scars and wounds lacing the skin on his back and his tense muscle aching for your touch.

Dick falls asleep like that all the time, no matter what. You could be telling him about your day or even he'll be telling you about his and he'll fall asleep mid-sentence. He wakes up refreshed every time you offer to do it for him, and more times than not he'll always find a way to repay you back.

iv) Dick Grayson on rainy days.

He loves having rainy days with you. Not necessarily rainy days - but the kind of days that he gets to be free of worry from the outside world and just focus on you. Hours upon hours that he gets to relax, often for the first time in months. Those days always seem like a blessing to him, especially when he gets to spend them with you.

Watching movies where he gets to cuddle you on the couch. The both of you laying on your sides. Dick's pressed against the back of the couch with his arms tightly around you so that you don't fall off the edge. He leaves annoying (adorable) little kisses at the back of your neck and a lot of the time tickles your sides.

Or you'll be in the kitchen, baking cookies or brownies, or whatever Dick wanted that day. He's always standing behind you, arms around you and chin resting on your shoulder. His eyes are glued to your movements, adoring how you can make something so mundane so beautiful at the same time.

On days that the rain is pouring outside, Dick will drag you outside - whether it be a balcony, a rooftop, to just the streets. He's got you out in the freezing cold where the rain is soaking your clothes and your clinging onto him for any remnants of body heat.

Dick wants to give you that cheesy, cliche, kiss in the rain. He wants to hold you, to kiss you, to tell the whole world how grand his love is for you. Hands cupping your cheeks, lips molding perfectly to yours. He can feel the drops of rain slipping between you, but it's never enough to get him to pull away. The cold ignites through his body but the warmth of your kiss, your touch, everything there is to you is enough to pull you back in for more.

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

Dick spends the rest of the day clinging to you - or more so the other way around. It's his fault that you're frozen to the core and he's going to be the one to fix it. He doesn't mind, not when it gives him the opportunity to just be closer with you.

v) Dick Grayson after sex

He can't get enough of you. Dick Grayson can never find a way to express his love completely. No words, no action, nothing in this world would ever be enough to show how vast his love is. Out of breath, sweat covering his skin, he'd still pull you in for more kisses, more time to show you that he loved you.

Sometimes Dick would have an arm tucked behind his head, the other stroking back and forth along your back. He loves post-sex cuddles with you. He's still on a high with you, absorbing your activities with a smile on his face.

His entire focus is on you. Kissing you, loving you. He's checking to make sure that he didn't hurt you in any way. Dick Grayson becomes the most caring person towards you - more than his usual self. His sole priority is making sure that you feel loved, safe, and happy.

Laying on your sides, facing each other and just talking about anything and everything are his favourite moments. He can't keep his hands off you - in a non-sexual way. Cupping your cheek, drawing into your arm, watching the goosebumps roll against his skin as the cold starts to fill you both.

A smile never leaves his cheeks. Not for a second. How could he when his entire view is focused on you? He's sneaking in for a kiss at every chance he gets - and when he's not his hands are on you. They're playing with your fingers as you talk or brush against your body.

“How did I get so lucky with you?” 

Cuddles with him after sex always seem more intimate than the moment itself. He gets the opportunity to talk about his heart's desires or his fears. He feels like it's his prime moment to be able to express anything that he's been feeling because it's when you're most willing to open up too.

It's a time of reflection. For some reason, these conversations always come up after your most intimate moments. It's the concept of growing together, not separately or apart. His future is you, it's always been you, and he's making sure that you both want it to stay that way.

Bonus: Surprise Hug

Getting home early from a mission or managing to sneak away to see you even just for couple minutes, he loves to surprise you with a hug from behind. You’ve learned by now how his body molds to yours, the calming scent of his cologne as he gets close to you - it’s never a worry who’s hugging you because you know his touch by heart. 

He loves to hear the joy in your voice when he shows up. The excitement that you get just for making the effort to show up for even a few minutes in the middle of the day or a couple hours early getting home. There’s nothing better than the warmth that spreads in his heart because of you. 

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