#ive been thinking about this literally constantly forever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anybody know how to get rid of a curse 😭
#throwback to when i was a kid and my mother the monster that she is wished upon me to never be happy just as she isn't#and that i should never be granted love or happiness. just like her.#this happened repeatedly#my heart gets broken over and over while ppl around me find love and get to keep it and be happy#i feel so fucking broken. like im literally not a person. idk what im doing wrong#i love my friends' love. im genuinely happy to see them thrive#ive been alone and yearning for a quarter of a century#i cant take it anymore#of course i had to fall in love with someone who wont be with me#thats the easiest way to make sure im fucked up and alone for as long as possible#and it's happened several times#they may love me but they cant be w me#I'm literally so fucking sad#the one person who was gonna make it work. i made them hate me bc of some huge misunderstanding abt the nature of our relationship#i miss them the most in the whole world. i think about them constantly. biggest regret of my life#the grief of it all is eating me alive. i keep getting close to being happy n in love and. dare i say it. loved#and then its all getting ripped away from me. again and again#every day it hurts and it makes me paralysed and i cant do shit or be who i want. i wish i could b sedated forever#goodnight lol
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
there has to be something wrong with me 😂
#but Also...?#not in a vent-y way i’m literally ok but i’ll be talking about my issues so just ignore this if you don’t want to read about it#but i’ve been thinking about it forever and i need to tell something or someone#i dislike how much i overthink . or maybe not overthink its not something thats constantly weighing on my mind#but sometimes i think. everyone’s going to inevitably betray me and everyone’s just lying to me#even friends who ive known for like 3+ years sometimes it just feels like once they get bored. thats it we’re done forever#irrational assumptions? i’m aware. but i just . when i’m feeling especially crazy#i don’t know what i’m saying i just don’t want to think or feel these sort of things anymore#my friends love me. isn’t it unfair of me to instantly assume the worst of them everytime? but. i don’t know#💭
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
when my friend is at work so i cant cry in call with him !
#ngl i genuinely cant find the energy to cry . im just making issues again man its so fucking stupid . i should just kill myself#he doesnt love me and he never will and hes fucking busy playing games with other people because im constantly crying and upset#and its like he doesnt care !!!!!! who do i even talk to anymore bc this is . awful#im trying so hard . i really am but fuck when everything is going through my mind its just#i just want to apologise forever but i dont know how to show that im actually sorry#like at least my ex was straight forward with how to apologise ?? it was just 'send me photos of your cuts and i know youre sorry'#but obviously i cant do that now LMAO#maybe its better if i just message out my thoughts and send them to him but its also like . its so obvious you dont want to talk to me#me : *nearly crying and about to try and explain why im going to kms* him : awful timing but i need to leave haha i will call you back ???#like im sorry but dont even bother calling me back :)#ive been clean for 8 days . its so pathetic#i dont want to hurt myself but i literally have nothing else to help me#i dont want to be a burden im trying rlly hard to just stop how i feel and im trying to be a perfect girlfriend who is only happy#but i just cant . it is so hard when all im thinking abt is how he hates me and how i mean nothing and how im always going to be worthless#i unironically miss when it was him being upset and talking to me abt it because i wasnt the one being emotional and vulnerable#like i was just there to help and make him feel better lol#i think ill be better after i cut bc thats what happened last time so#whatever we ball#jamie.txt
0 notes
Text
I think ill start giving a fuck abt ppl on here when they do the same for me ✌️
#not about to initiate it tho lol#ive been trying forever and yall still want me dead and never like how i change even if i change in the way you like.#like i dont care anymore. i feel like im in an abusive relationship with some of yall on here and it literally makes me start to give#0 fucks about you in any capacity.#plenty of you are literally just bad people and thats all there is too it like. stop being horrible literally wtf#what would yall do if you found out i was the victim in the situation you use as fodder to justify shitting on me?#would you come up with more excuses to shit on me or maybe actually for once evaluate your behavior and where you might#have gone wrong#bc something tells me yall immature emotionally stunted asses wouldnt take a second to evaluate yourselves. just come up w more#excuses for why your actions are fine actually. like. literally operating like children lmao.#just know that im not fighting for you anymore. i tried. like i really did. but i dont care.#any benefit you reap from my progressive action- know that you're not in mind literally at all you pieces of shits. hope you rot xoxo#literally cant believe tumblr convinced me the ppl on here were somehow better ppl than the ppl irl. bc its quite the fuckin opposite.#yall dont deserve shit from me.#the fact yall expect me to keep giving a fuck and fighting for you in spite of constantly dragging me through shit.#literally choke i dont care what happens to you anymore.#if you think im bad for feeling this way? then treat me better.#yall make it clear you dont give af about me so why should i give a single one to you?
0 notes
Text
Its been one hell of a long time since ive rambled about something so heres my rambles on mouthwashing and how i think everyone kinda seeing some stuff wrong.
This is mostly a focus on the situation between Anya and Jimmy unfortunately, and also my opinion on Curly and the innocence he has and the weight he carries. I understand the game doesn't go in depth on what happened between Anya and Jimmy but I think the subtle-ness of the games speaks more volumes than any dialogue. Basically in my head, given how Anya acts around Jimmy, I think the truth behind what happens its more long-term. That they were "together" in obviously a very abusive way. Jimmy constantly gaslighting, belittling then lovebombing, etc. etc. manipulating Anya into believing she had to be with him. I think the "one worse monster that doesnt define us" is the one moment in the relationship where Jimmy "took it too far" (the SA and possibly threat with a gun). I remember seeing another post of Curly being a metaphor for the future baby they would have together and seeing how Anya acts literally seems like a timid broken wife of an abuser. She too scared and guilty to work on the child she hates looking at and Jimmy is "forced" to do it, continuing to berate her for "not doing her job" (aka being a nurse OR being a mother.) I feel like that alone tells you how their relationship is. Anya isn't just a one-time victim but a LONG TERM VICTIM of the constant mental, emotional AND physical abuse at the hands of Jim. It doesn't wipe clean the one thing he did because they were "dating", Im not at all using this as a justification for anything at all but I suppose Im putting it in prespective. Because it leads into my next part with Curly. Everyone doesnt know what to think of Curly, good bad, whatever. I remember I was also mad to when I first found out about what Jimmy did and I was in fact mad at Curly for not doing more. But then I genuinely thought about it. Imagine you are literally hearing this for the first time, imagine you didnt even know Anya and Jimmy were "in a relationship", imagine if you did know they were a thing but didnt know what was going on behind closed doors, imagine if this was a one time event and the person you thought you knew was actually just a bad person. Imagine. Having not even a DAY, A DAY TO PROCESS THAT. Imagine if you had your own mental disorders that making it hard to process heavy emotions and now your stuck with this and you dont know what to do Imagine. Thats what Curly had to go thru. I understand why people are mad that Curly didnt do more, but in the end I want to personally believe that it such a complicated situation. That Anya and Jimmy seemed like they were on good terms, that maybe they were okay but they werent because behind closed door or when they were alone, Jimmy was eating Anya alive like some predatory parasite. Its a lot to process and Curly didnt have time to process it. He didn't have time to process that his friend was a monster, that his crew was unsafe, that HE had bad judgement, that maybe HE TOO was a BAD PERSON for NOT SEEING IT SOONER. Sometimes bad things happen and you dont know and you had to hold that guilty forever. Curly isn't a bad person, hes jsut a PERSON, a person going thru and being the sole person responsible for a LOT of literal possible blood on his hands. Hes trying so fucking hard to tread this all lightly to protect everyone. I don't think at all that Curly was trying to protect Jimmy. I think he was trying to protect his crew. Hes trying to be a good captain and sometimes that doesnt mean just fucking putting an axe thru Jimmy's head. Anya doesnt need to see that, Daisuke doesn't need to see that, Im sure Swansea would have volunteered but Curly wouldnt want to turn Swansea into a fucking MURDERER after all the years he spent being an honest man. Anya is already guilty and broken, Daisuke is innocent and young, Swansea is trying so hard to be on the good side of life. Curly is delicately balancing EVERYTHING. ITS ALL ON HIM HE TOOK THIS RESPONSIBILITY AND IT HURTS.
#take what you will of my thoughts#I personally believe curly isnt a bad person#I dont care what anyone says or things#blame the actual abuser#mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing anya
58 notes
·
View notes
Note
i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
148 notes
·
View notes
Note
how would txt react to their s/o wanting to try facesitting? :0
ur a genius anon (other members under the cut!)
yeonjun would try to hide how excited he is but you can see the way his face literally lights up when you mention it. dont tease him ok its all hes been thinking about for so long!!!! he lovesss eating u out and hes fucking great at it too, it was only a matter of time before u just sat on his face. he would be so so gentle with you, encouraging you to put your full weight down - sex with yeonjun can be so intense sometimes, but this time it feels so fun n easy, jjunie smiling from between your legs, egging you on <3 and god the moan he lets out when you finally sit, the sounds he would make underneath you, muffled by your cunt </3 FUCK you'd just constantly be kept on your toes, he always changes up the pace, long stripes of his tongue or suckling on your clit or whatever else comes to mind <3
soobin would agree right away!! nothing really special about it, you mention it to him one day and he agrees to try it with u! little do you know hes kinda been fantasizing over it for forever the lil perv. n just imagine.. domestic soobin relaxed on the bed and when you come out of the shower wearing only your underwear.. n he smiles at you and tells you to come over, take a seat <3 he's corny like that ok <3 his palms wrap firmly around ur waist, almost like he's warming them up on ur skin, n then he's sloowlllyyy pulling down your panties <3 moves his enormous hands down to cup your ass, a careful, steady grip while you lower ur pussy onto his warm tongue :') your lip caught between your teeth when you relax your full weight on his face and youre so nervous but hes taking it all in stride, his fingers fucking digging into your butt because he needs to get a grip or he might come on the very spot 😞
beomgyu my little menace theres no dilly dallying when it comes to him! the second you mention it to him he's down to try it right away, even if its not something hes really thought of before. but when he sees you hovering over him, legs quivering n your face all cute and scrunched up - as cute as you are, he's not having any of it, will demand you to sit >:( n when you nod n mumble out okay, okay he just gives your thigh a light slap n rumbles good girl, right before your cunt meets his tongue <3 HED BE SOOOO INTO IT growling n moaning while he eats you out, squeezing your thighs so hard, cant help it sometimes but to slip in a little dirty talk here n there against your pussy haskhdas
taehyun would be SOOO down to try it especially since it would give him the chance to show off his strength AHAHAHA telling you to hurry and take a seat on his face, the fuck you mean you're nervous? weren't you the one who wanted this in the first place? no fair if you make him wait, come on, babygirl, sit on it - he's a strong boy! tyun's just obsesseddd with watching ur lower lip wobble with want while hes licking n sucking at you, loves landing small smacks on your ass throughout it just to hear how you squeak <3 and you're honestly surprised that you don't feel unsafe at all - taehyun is just that strong tbh hes so dreamy <3
HUENING KAI <33333 pretty sure ive already discussed this before but he would be so so sweet and gentle and cute he literally melts inside when he sees how wobbly your knees are right before you give in and sit on his mouth <3 he just wants to make you feel so, so good, so give it all to him and don't hold back! ride his face if you need to, he just wants to be a good boyfriend for you and make you come!!! and when you do come, its like his entire world just freezes at the sight of you unraveling on top of him fuck his cheeks are just so pink n his eyes are so wide n his thick cock is straining his pants ughh can you let him fuck you now please ?!! <3333
#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#yeonjun smut#soobin smut#beomgyu smut#taehyun smut#huening kai smut
596 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi so im a onedoor and i recently got into andteam and i wanted to know if you have any thoughts on comparing and contrasting jo and myungjae as your bf? both sfw and nsfw comparisons~ i usually peg (lol) them both on the subbier side but they're so different personality wise, i'm looking forward to reading what your thoughts are!! :)
hello anon! i think this is SUCH a banger idea, so much so that ive temporarily ignored my pile of requests for it. i want to start by saying that jaehyun is my ult bias, and ive been WAITING for an ask about him !!!!
i lowkey had a lot of fun comparing/contrasting them, and found a lot of similarities as well as differences as i wrote these
hard hours + requests: open (bnd, enha, &team, wayv)
SFW
Myung Jaehyun as your boyfriend...
he is SO cuddly bro
i know onedoor often compare him to a puppy, but genuinely. he is a PUPPY.
like you'd come home from doing whatever all day and he would be at the door instantly to greet you
runs up to you and is all "i missed you so much, i thought you'd never come home..."
overdramatic as HELL
he's so cutie though omg
clingy too
if you're ever out with his friends, he's not afraid to have his arm around you
his arm around your waist nonchalantly while he and his friends make small talk about whatever
physical touch with myungjae would go so crazy omg
okay i could probably sit here and talk about jaehyun as your boyfriend for forever oops
Asakura Jo as your boyfriend...
compared to jaehyun, i see him as less clingy
probably isn't too big on PDA unless you specifically tell him or ask him for it
still the sweetest ever though
acts of service or gift giving
if he sees something in the store that reminds him of you, he buys it
no questions asked, it's a present now
constantly checks in on you and asks about your day
he does have his moments though where he is feeling more affectionate
he lets down his guard for you
he's so in love with you bro
like he's convinced the two of you were meant to fall in love
NSFW
Myung Jaehyun as your boyfriend...
im gonna start this by saying he is extremely LOUD
he whines for sure
he'd probably try and say he isnt being loud...but like...come on...
you're so right though about him being on the subbier side
maybe this is just me but. pull his hair.
like yank that shit oh my god
likes being edged. probably
dry humping. that's all im gonna say
praises you while you literally rock his world
aftercare is so sweet with him
he's so cuddly with you (i said this already)
soft sex with jaehyun though (im dizzy)
he just wants both of you to feel good
okay i need to stop bc again...could talk about jaehyun for ages.
Asakura Jo as your boyfriend...
i can see him being a switch rather than fully on the sub side or fully on the dom side
as a sub though, he'd for sure let you do whatever you wanted to him
eye contact goes crazy
hear me out. you guys are fucking and he makes it such a clear point he wants to remain eye contact the whole time...
genuinely he probably finishes relatively quickly
he'd get real shy and embarrassed about it
his face probably gets really red
dry humping probably.
this isnt an original thought at all but size kink...
esp if you're like. a lot smaller than him
OKAY THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL REQUEST THAT JUST ABOUT BROKE ME
#kit's anons#andteam hard hours#jo hard thoughts#boynextdoor hard hours#myung jaehyun hard thoughts#andteam smut#boynextdoor smut
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
would u do a little analysis of how each team has done so far this season … i trust ur opinions so much
EACH team okay... under the cut bc i am not subjecting the masses to 32 nasty little thots cody edition
Bruins: RIP patrice of course but the bruins are steamrolling as ever... i think that if there is any evidence of the universe simply not caring abt good things it is that the bruins slip and stumble and have some of their best players retired and still manage to put up a 50 win season every year. <- salty leafs fan but ANYHWAY the bruins are easily a Playoff Team. simply "there" 5v5, strong power play, they make their money off finishing (pastrnak you filthy animal) and goaltending (swaymark you filthy animals). they have been trending downwards of late so i'm not entirely sure of like their final standings place but with this kind of head start they're staying up.
Sabres: currently in what we the people call a "decade of darkness." might be a "two decades of darkness" if we're going to be honest. the active player with the most playoff points with the sabres is tyler myers. 7 points. yeah the tall one most famous for having a subreddit that posts the gamescore card every time he's on the bottom of the gamescore card. sabres are really hard to fix because their first real step to contention is "hoping devon levi turns out really good." not promising. bad enough that by selling a piece or two celebrini is in sight. maybe that'll help? a third 1OA?
Red Wings: presenting the mid-season Season Ruining Unforced Error Award early by saying: not that they were going to be as good as their first few games of sniping suggested, but signing patrick kane tanked any realistic hope they have of playoffs. is patrick kane good? he's actually alright. maybe this time the surgery worked. is the team made better by having him on it? it surely isn't! a few REALLY BADLY TIMED dylan larkin based misfortunes have made it go from bad to worse. they were in A2 like a month ago and now they're Out. strengths: finishing. weaknesses: everything else, including morale.
Panthers: okay you've probably clocked this by now but ive been Generally Salty so far and that is bc a) im easily tempted to haterhood and b) currently discussing each team in the atlantic which does nothing to make me less Tempted To Haterhood. that being said the panthers are Good and For Real About It. they can do everything except finish chances, which is fine when the other team has way fewer chances than you and your goalie doesn't let any of them in. fuck ALLL the way off. place your bets on these guys having a deep playoff run. cross your fingers for them not having a deep playoff run i can't stand chuckyposting again it's RAN ITS COURSE. (also: machuk is probably still injured and absolutely Not doing as well as he did the last few seasons. maybe because he's just not that kind of guy but it's probably at least mostly the broken chest thing)
Canadiens: they are bad EXCEPT when it comes to overtime + the shootout. also much like the sabres they're going nowhere fast. i expect at least one of their goalies to be gone at the deadline... furthermore i think ppl who are ragging on slaf's slow development are simply expecting all 1OAs to be like an auston or a connor type (pick your connor) where they come in and immediately adapt -- slaf rings very reminiscent of quinton byfield to me, who was picked 2OA in 2020 and is only now starting to break out. give him time he's a baby...
Senators: despite how much literally everyone talks up all their players constantly, they are not good either. like the sabres or the habs... atlantic is 4 teams in the genuine hunt, 3 teams who suck and have sucked forever and will suck forevermore, and the red wings who haven't made up their minds yet. the sens actually Do have a singular Biggest Problem though and that's goaltending, but they're not a good enough team otherwise that getting a quality goaltender is going to make them playoffs worthy, especially not in the very short (this-season) run.
Lightning: the lightning are weird to me because like i think they're still making up their mind as A People what they want to do. kucherov is the best player in the league rn, this is stamkos' ufa season and he hasn't been offered an extension, vasilevskiy is back and vasying his levskiy... i fully believe they have the capability of getting a playoff spot, maybe even A3 if they want. we've all seen them in the playoffs, we know how they can turn ~It~ on at will. as always they're a deeply mid 5v5 team powered by very strong special teams... the goaltending numbers say goaltending is shit but they've been playing in front of the genuinely unplayable jonas johansson most of the season so i think it'll be fine.
Maple Leafs: as the team ive watched the moast i can talk about these guys for evar so for all of our sanities i will be brief: Auston Matthews, Baby, Look At Him, That's Auston, Auston Motherfucking "Sexy Mustached Bitch" Matthews!!!!!!! powered by an extremely strong power play and very good offence, and defence and goaltending that is held together by Morgan Rielly and a dream. possibly the only reason they're in a playoff spot is the fact that martin jones didn't get claimed on waivers three months ago and i am being dead serious about that. for some reason they're at their best when they're down by two. they do really need both their #1 goalie to come back from injury and to make a splash for a genuine nhl-calibre defenceman, but they're stubbornly determined to win games even through nasty flu.
Hurricanes: their usual selves -- analytics darlings, can't buy a goal. this year they can't buy a save either -- Freddie is out with a medical condition, Raanta is straight up not good, and Kochetkov is... well, he's Kochetkov. they're not far out of a spot but they'll need a hot hand if they want to get comfy... which i don't expect, frankly. they're good enough to make the playoffs, but they're not really a team that goes on heaters, so they'll be bubble until the end.
Blue Jackets: genuinely not sure they know what they're doing like... okay. from an outside pov they are obviously Tanking. they're bad in every way that matters except for finishing and the standings show it. but also like... they're at the point in their development cycle where they shouldn't be tanking... or at least are on the verge of Shouldn't Be Tanking. and again, because they don't know what they're doing, they hired mike babcock for this... if they know what they're doing they'll toss kekalainen as soon as they can and, following this year's draft, start Fighting. but let's be real i doubt that. adam fantilli it's your time to shine... sorry sweetheart!
Devils: see Hurricanes. Great on paper, can't buy a save. They've obviously been stunted by Timo, J'accuse, and Nico all being injured at various points, but goaltending is their biggest and most solvable problem. Unlike the Hurricanes, though, the Devils are fully capable of going on a heater, so the gap between them and WC2 isn't as big as it looks (probably.) Luke Hughes is going to be something special.
Rangers: Looks like Lafreniere is finally getting his feet under him -- but the Rangers have always been far more about getting old, known players to get a second wind with them than they've been about prospect development, and Quick and Wheeler are both showing this pretty definitively. Another one of those teams that's run by special teams and finishing/goaltending. Easy playoff spot, likely solid run. Nothing too interesting here.
Islanders: On the other hand, the Isles are interesting because... like... how did they get There? They have a negative goal differential, for heaven's sake! Their special teams are godawful, their defence is a sieve, they blow leads like that's what actually gets you points in this league, and they're somehow second in the Metropolitan??????? Is it Horvat? Barzal? Sorokin? (It's probably Sorokin.) They'll make the playoffs but i doubt they'll succeed in them.
Flyers: This one's also weird. They have the power play and offence of a peewee team in the big leagues, but have become defensively Actually Super Competent and are somehow good because of this? I'm going to theorize -- because you've asked me to but also because I really want to -- that this is due, at least in part, to somewhat of an inverse Kane-on-the-Red-Wings effect from their offseason removal of Provorov and DeAngelo; without them, the team is now not only better defensively on paper but also better as a team in the locker room. They're [uncle voice] playing with heart now! I doubt they're a real contender, but I think they might actually make playoffs.
Penguins: ...this one's also weird. They're good on paper. Like, really good on paper? Defensively "just okay" but offensively great, goaltending is fantastic, special teams are shutdown. They just can't buy a goal and they can't buy a good sequence.
Capitals: This one's weird, too, but in the opposite way -- aside from the power-play, the Caps are actually godawful on paper, especially when it comes to finishing (because when Ovechkin takes such a high percentage of your shots but he isn't scoring, your team REALLY suffers) but somehow they've managed to pinpoint sequencing luck (win close, lose ugly) and are somehow in WC1. Do I think they'll make the playoffs? Absolutely not -- if either the Devils or Canes step up, the Caps are the odd man out -- but it might be fun to see them try. Or hell, I hope they win-close-lose-ugly their way to a goddamn Cup final. Would be funny as fuck for Ovi's second-longest ever playoff run to come at the fresh young age of thirty-eight. Dude looks ragged out there. I'm going to shut up now before I start talking about finding him sexy
Coyotes: Simple on paper: bad at running play, good goaltending and finishing. Essentially what the Canucks are doing at a smaller scale. The Leafs should never have let Kerfoot walk and I mean that unironically. Okay, anyway, the Yotes are a bubble team and won't make higher than WC1 because of the logjam at the top of the Central, but holy fuck do I want them to make WC1 (or a playoff spot in general.) People ask "how can we grow the game" a lot, and when it comes to what the NHL can do directly, the number one biggest thing is win in small markets. Arizona has already created one of the sports' biggest stars -- Auston! -- and it's an absolutely massive TV market and a potential hotbed of new fans and new, great players. Arizona making a playoff spot -- or even better, going on a run -- would be amazing for the NHL. And it would be funny. And I would like that.
Blackhawks: shoutout to dave !!! dave who works for the hawks!!! anyway the hawks are very obviously tanking and good at it. Their only real point of interest is their Sacred Child, and holy fuck is their Sacred Child going to absolutely fucking smash it when he's given a team that's not entirely made up of scrubs. i think his analytics, especially his defensive numbers, are, like, fine? but accounting for his leverage (all situations, especially the difficult ones), his teammates (his best linemate is Anthony Beauvillier, and tito... is a third liner), and the fact that he's all of eighteen, he's definitely on track to be a Real Force. i kinda love him... okay moving on.
Avalanche: All-over good: finishing their biggest obvious strength, but hockeywise they don't have any real weaknesses... although there is some serious Drama brewing in that locker room and i think it might just be getting started. with landeskog gone for at least until the end of this year (and possibly forever) and ej a sabre, there is absolutely no one in there capable of actually emotionally running a team: makar lacking in a leader's magnetism, rantanen an idiot, toews and mackinnon far too high-strung and competitive, and no one else with seniority. they're a good enough team that it's not really affecting them right now, but ... i don't know, i can kind of feel it coming. They'll make the playoffs, but when the pressure is on they'll either step up or completely fall apart.
Stars: See above: all-over good, but saving their biggest obvious weakness. I think most of this is spurred by Otter being out -- Wedgewood is a serviceable backup goaltender, but obviously not capable of being a real starter, and the team is stuttering because of it. I doubt it'll be for long or too much difficulty (they're a good defensive team, so it's not going to affect them a lot, but they might lose a game or two they might have won with Otter, especially if he's out for a while), but it's going to keep them from taking a step on top of the Central. Easy playoff team, probable contender.
Wild: They are bad! Penalty kill is their worst weakness, but they're not great in goal either and the combination is kicking their ass. As much as I respect how well they've done with that giant cap-space penalty from the Parise/Suter buyouts all those years ago, it's... kind of time to throw in the towel. Get Flower those final few wins, because by god are they devoid of much other success. Right at the tail of a competitive arc. RIP. Tank incoming.
Predators: Weirdly good, even though Saros hasn't been his usual self? O'Reilly esp has been an absolutely fantastic addition for the team over the offseason. No huge strengths, no significant weaknesses. Not an amazing offensive team, but it's Nashville so they were never going to be -- the place practically breeds defensive forwards and all-around dmen. I don't expect they'll seriously contend, but they'll make the playoffs (unless someone offers the farm for Saros).
Blues: I genuinely think so little about the Blues .... that whole thing with Jordan Kyrou has been the most I've thought about them for a bit. That and the fact that only three of their games haven't been decided by the first goal? They're not good and they're really boring. Yeehaw.
Jets: THE JETS let's get JUICY. Jets' biggest strengths by far are a) 5v5 defence and b) finishing/goaltending. Even with Kyle Connor out they're sniping and Hellebuyck and Brossoit are both absolutely on it. The Jets have always seemed to have this problem where on paper (take a shot every time I've written "on paper" in this post if you want to die of alcohol poisoning) they seem fantastic, then January onwards they absolutely plummet. And it's not January yet, so that might still happen, but that kind of thing tends to happen because of a dramatic morale shift, and now that Lowry's captain and Wheeler's left for New York... that might not happen? They've banked enough points that unless they're historically bad from here on out they're still a playoff team. If they keep up what they have going so far, they're a contender, but if it's the same Winnipeg with the same problems, then they're not.
Ducks: Taking a step in the right direction with Carlsson and Mintyukov, but still bad! I really hope Carlsson recovers well, he seems like a sweet boy. Also: what on Earth are they doing with Zegras. Is he a defenceman now? Are they making him play defence? Are he and Dixie D'Amelio still dating? I have many questions. I just hope whichever high draft pick they get is an idiot. I feel like they need another dumbass baby on the team.
Flames: The Flames also appear to have no idea what's going on. And frankly, neither do I! They're too good to be obviously tanking, but not near good enough to be a bubble team. They're definitely reluctant to sell, but their best hope to win soon absolutely should be selling. They have one of the worst contracts in the league on their payroll (wow... I hope the guy in charge of my favourite team didn't sign that!) and a bunch of really solid late-round picks and prospects cutting their teeth on the NHL. In short: they aren't going to make the playoffs and should be leaning into that, but they don't seem to have realized this yet.
Oilers: For the sake of not gloating, I'm going to sum this one up with a Marek quote: If you have a goalie, it's 70% of your team. If you don't, it's 100%. They've had finishing trouble, but considering they absolutely run the show at 5v5 AND special teams (they put nearly SIXTY SHOTS on Vasilevskiy the other day) a little finishing shouldn't be quite so dangerous if they didn't have two sieves minding the net. McDavid might hit 150 again and the Oil might still miss the playoffs. If they get in, they're going far, but at this point it'll be tough as fuck to make it in.
Kings: Average penalty kill. No other weaknesses. Kopitar 4 Selke.
Sharks: This is an absolutely glorious tankjob. No other way to put it. This is the pinnacle of tank design. This is the Wayne Gretzky of tankjobs. This is the Casablanca of tankjobs. This is the Saturn V of tankjobs. Nothing has been so beautifully engineered to suck since Sir James Dyson patented his vacuum or Nancy Reagan walked the earth. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. I am in awe. They deserve Celebrini purely because of how flawless the tank is. I don't care if he has a warm undertone and would look pink in that fantastic teal. The boy needs San Jose.
Kraken: Good defensively at 5v5, bad pretty much everywhere else. I'm going to be honest with you all, last year was kind of a flash in the pan -- Seattle isn't great and they're neither headed upwards nor downwards. Not a bubble team, probably won't pick top ten. They haven't decided whether or not to build up or tank. Beyond the fantastic aesthetics and four-unranked-lines shtick, they don't really have a whole lot of competitive mojo: no star forwards, no goaltending. Wholeheartedly mid.
Canucks: oH BABY!!!!! The 23-24 Canucks made us all learn what PDO is. The 23-24 Canucks are first in the motherfucking league after being one spot out of being in the Bedard lottery. The 23-24 Canucks are on track to have the best shooting and saving percentage in league history. The 23-24 Canucks' leading goalscorer is Brock Boeser, the guy they've almost traded practically every year since they drafted him. The 23-24 Canucks started the season by naming the Wettest Little Man On The Planet captain and they haven't looked back since. I think they're an easy lock for a playoff spot -- but within the playoffs, do I know what they're going to do? I absolutely do not. They could PDO their way to a Cup or they could bow out in four games flat. Either is equally likely. They have thoroughly embraced Good Chaos. Quinn Hughes might win the Hart. Everything's coming up Vancouver.
Golden Knights: Not as good as they were last year. Ultimately still pretty good. Easy playoff spot. Definite contender. Jack Eichel is better than ever and I love him for it, the dickhead.
#asks#mwah anon thank u... this is so long under the cut KJHDKSFJSKDJFHSK#tldr: some teams are good and some teams are bad. sometimes this is interesting and sometimes it's not.
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
A incredibly weird problem I see in a good portion of fantasy stories these days is something Ive been calling "Inferna delenda est", and which my less pretentious friends (all of them) call "the hell problem". Its sort of something that, because its a genre convention, is almost always ignored, but once you see it, it cant be unseen.
I admittedly only started seeing this after reading UNSONG, which is literally About this problem. But now that its been pointed out, I cant unsee it elsewhere, and any media which runs into it but doesnt address it becomes almost entirely ruined for me.
The issue of Inferna delenda est is present in any setting which 1. Has real, proven afterlifes where most people literally go when they die and 2. Has one of those afterlifes be at all comparable to Hell, i.e. any place where a significant number of sapient creatures are tortured for all eternity.
If those two criteria are met, almost any plot becomes pointless and trivial. What does it matter that a hero saves a city from destruction when beneath their feet millions of people are burning, and many of those saved will join them? Who cares whether the ruler of a country is corrupt or not? The evil that would be stopped by replacing them with even a perfectly competent and benevolent ruler is staggeringly inconsequential compared to that of an eternity of torment.
Like, im not being vague or making an analogy here. Im just saying that its incredibly difficult to care about a plot to stop a war or kill an evil wizard when the story offhandedly mentions the fact that millions of people are 100% being tortured for eternity in a real place and no one is doing anything about it.
And even further, it makes it Really hard to view the heroes as...actual heroes. The degree of callousness required to keep the existance of hell in the background (from an in-universe perspective) is just ridiculous. Like, if youve got your high fantasy hero saving an entire continent from an evil demigod or whatever, the fact that theyre Not constantly thinking about hell is just... if you have that kinda power, and you literally know for a fact that Hell is a place, then you should be fucked up about it!
Like I can understand that growing up in that setting youd be resigned to it, not much a random soldier or whatever can do about it. But once they become super powerful? And they never even Mention Hell? That much callousness automatically moves you down a few notches from hero.
Obviously in a lot of settings hell just sorta Exists, and soul sorting is vague, but even then like. Break into Hell! Rescue people or at least relieve their pain! Its just so insane that the worst thing literally imaginable as a physical place (maximum pain that lasts literally forever with no hope of relief) is a staple of lots of fantasy settings and so many authors just do not in any way address that.
And like I said, its not that theyre writing Poorly because of this. Its a genre staple, and if you dont give it too much thought it doesnt seem to be an issue, especially given [gestures vaguely in the direction of christianity and its popularization of the concept of hell]. But god now that its been pointed out it drives me Nuts.
Anyways idk where i was going with this. Read unsong, i guess?
#Ceterum censeo Infernum esse delendam#writing#rambling#moral philosophy#unsong#?#ignore this its just been bouncing around my head for a while and the group chat is tired of hearing me end every book review with#inferna delenda est#tracking
448 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am Not My Hair
What actually happens if I shave my head bald?
Why cant I see what I look like without hair?
Why do I have to be sick or have cancer or be dying?
Why am I not allowed as a woman to just shave my head?
Why do I need a reason, a justification, an explanation?
Why do I have to justify being hairless?
Why are people acting like Im dying and have cancer just because Im bald?
Nothing happens. Thats the gag.
Youve been taught to fear.
Its just my bald head. Why is that forbidden?
Verboten?
Why cant I ever see what my actual head looks like without all this hair on it?
Why cant I see what my face looks like without it constantly being surrounded by hair?
What if I like being bald?
What if I like not spending $1200+ a year on my hair?
What if I like not styling my hair?
What if I like not doing anything with my hair other than cutting it super short, about an inch or two, every few months?
Why does it threaten people for a woman not to care about her hair?
I dont want to go to a hair salon or barbershop.
I dont want to go back to an afro.
I dont want locs or dreads.
I dont want shaved sides, I already did that last year.
I dont want corn rows or bantu knots, Ive done that too.
I dont want to grow it out.
I dont want a $500 lace front wig.
I dont want a wig professionally installed by a stylist every 2 to 3 months.
I dont want to wash or brush my hair.
I dont want to put any products in my hair.
Why is it a sin for a black woman to not want to grow her hair out?
I dont want my "long beautiful" hair back.
I dont want it halfway down my back again.
I dont want it to my waist again.
I dont want to relax it again -- there are lawsuits against Loreal, black women who used Just For Me and other chemical relaxers to straighten their hair are being diagnosed with cancer, inferitility and fibroids.
The chemicals in a relaxer are strong enough to break down and destroy the natural texture of your curly coiled kinks and force it to be straight -- those same chemicals are also strong enough to literally peel paint off of cars -- why are you putting this directly on your scalp for an hour plus every 2 to 3 months from the time you are a pre-teen or in high school until adulthood, for decades, and thinking that there wont be health issues?
They target products to Black women that kill them.
Remember the little Black girls that sang the R&B pop jingle in the Just For Me commercial?
"Just for me...hair so healthy, silky and free."
Who was that song for?
This was the 90s and there were multiple Black girl groups back then -- TLC, 702, Blaque, Xscape, Jade, Total, MoKenStef, etc. -- they wanted to get us while we were young so we would keep using their products until adulthood.
I got my first perm, I am 4C, at 11. I was so glad my mother stopped burning me with the hot comb that she had tortured me with since I was 5. Anything was better than that as I had a very sensitive scalp or "tenderheaded" as it is called in our community.
I couldnt wait to go to Touch of Magic salon where my older sister already had her long, silky hair. I was tired of being tortured by a hot ass comb that was constantlu burning my fucking scalp and I was tired of being told to "sit still" while my scalp was being fucking burned. I couldnt wait for the Revlon Fabulaxer so the dreaded golden hot comb could be forever banished from my existence.
From 11 to 34, 23 years, I faithfully got a relaxer at the salon every 2 to 3 months. It was about $120+ (relaxer, deep condition, style, split ends, color, etc.). Over the years, that fucking adds up, over $100k I spent on my hair. Even when I went natural at 34, my 4c hair is extremely thick, kinky, nappy, unruly and very difficult to deal with. People have literally broken combs trying to comb through it. Needless to say, I couldnt manage anything myself but a wash and go so I spent thousands at the salon as a 4c natural on Senegalese twists, box braids, Bantu knots, corn rows, twist outs, twist updos and flat twists.
Then I shaved my sides and cut my hair super short and started going to barber shops but I was dyeing it fuschia back then so my hair was still costing me money.
Then last year, I finally just grabbed kitchen scissors out of my kitchen and hacked it myself and decided I was never going to go back to a salon or barbershop.
I was going to cut my hair with kitchen scissors myself every 2 to 3 months. I do like different looks so I have five cheap synthetic shitty wigs that are different colors (blue, blonde, green, black). Depending on the lewk and fit, either I just wear my hair natural and short or I slap a wig on.
But thats it. No maintenance, no upkedp, no hair care routines, no wasting away a Saturday at a salon, no barbershops, no wash and gos, no 15 hour sessions getting braided extensions.
Just literally cutting it with kitchen scissors every 2 to 3 months and slapping on a cheap shitty wig whenever I have a certain fit or lewk and thats it.
Then in August, I decided to shave my head bald. I didnt want even a few inches of hair anymore so I grabbed my husbands razor and shaved it. Didnt go to a barbershop or stylist. Had no idea how to even use the razor and just shaved it all off in under 10 minutes. I loved the bald look especially with thick ass winged liquid eyeliner, bold dramatic eyeshadow and colorful lipstick.
I have a few inches of growth that in a month or two, I will grab the kitchen scissors again and cut my hair down to an inch or two. Ill do that every few months. I love it bald but even shaving my head on a regular basis is more time than I choose to devote to my hair. Cutting it with scissors to an inch or two every 2 to 3 months is my absolute limit.
As a woman, thats not allowed.
Especially as a Black woman.
And I was raised by a Southern Baptist fundamentalist, so forget about it.
You have to obsess over your hair, products, styling, color, length, look, appearance, texture, curl pattern, thickness, volume, care routines, pre poo, deep conditoning, tea tree oil, diffusing, texturizing, blow out, straightening, relaxing, lace front wig installations, weaves, kanekalon, bundles, braids, twists, locs, dreads, corn rows, bantu knots...
You cant just not do your hair!
Only you can. Because thats exactly what I do.
Even as a Black woman and we are brainwashed to be absolutely obsessed with our hair.
Go back and look at the hysteria India Arie caused when she shaved her "beautiful curls".
Just like India Arie, I am not my hair.
#4c hair#natural hair#relaxed hair#black girl magic#black lives matter#bald head#bald girl#shaveyourhead#shavehead#head shave#i am not my hair#just for me#lawsuit#relaxer#loreal#revlon#black hair#beauty standards#feminist#black feminism#patriarchy#paternalism#internalized sexism#blm#melanin magic#anti capitalism#socialism#social justice#afro#feminism
82 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello! ive been thinking about i7 again 🥺 could i requests headcanons for nagi with a s/o or crush whos a classical musician? like playing a string instrument
Nagi with a classical musician s/o
A/N: nagi request,, -studio applause-
.::.
Your bow gracefully glided along the strings of your cello as if it was an extension of your arm. With complete control.
Smooth sounds echoed from the hollow inside of the instrument, filling any listener's ears with satisfying melodies, carrying through the halls outside of your practice room.
One in particular passes by, his foot midstep, deciding if he wanted to walk further, or stay to listen in.
His gut tells him to pursue the latter, and the blonde turns on his heel to stand just a few inches away from the door window so he wouldn't intrude on your intense focus.
The notes soothe his heart. When they spike in volume, exuding a feeling of might and excitement, it astounded him, leaving him wanting to hear more.
With Nagi's love of music, he can't help but to sit and watch you play
The compliments never stop coming, even if you're modest about your skill he'll insist you have a special hand at this
Its honestly nice to hear after constantly being surrounded by the oversaturated pop and rock of the idol scene; not that he doesn't like it, just that hearing classical pieces, namely from you, is quite refreshing
Nagi will play piano while you play any string instrument of your choice. After all, they're a lovely and timeless arrangement. The connection between the two of you shine the most when you're having a conversation through music, interweaving your souls through the notes and unifying through each melody
It actually reminded him of his times with Haruki, his feelings toward him and you were different of course, but the same in the way that hearing you play made him forget his troubles, and reminded him why he loved music to begin with
In those moments, he feel a song will seep through his body and through his fingertips deftly gliding across the piano keys forever
Its like time doesnt pass at all when he's listening to you play, whether together or by yourself
Whether you're newbie, intermediate, or practically a professional, that doesn't make him adore your playing any more or less (though, it is satisfying and pleasant when he can tell your skill has improved)
He'll try (and fail) not to brag about you to his friends if you don't like attention being brought to you
Hopefully you don't mind small crowds, since Nagi would love to play a duet with you in front of the rest of his group members
Will send you messages about how he 'needs' to listen to your music as a pick me up after a crappy or exhausting shift (if you aren't far from the dorm he'll literally stop by your house-)
in summary, he cherishes your music, even moreso that it comes from you, the one he loves most.
#idolish7 x reader#idolish7#ainana#idolish seven#idolish7 headcanons#i7#rokuya nagi#rokuya nagi x reader
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Unpopular opinion rory is a fantastic companion and it's a massive shame he's constantly overlooked by both the show and fans
strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree
YEAHHHH. they don't get him they don't appreciate him. TWO THOUSAND YEARS!!!!! AND PEOPLE WILL SAY HE DIDN'T REALLY LOVE AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like. 'rory wants to settle down and this is Bad because amy wants to keep traveling with the doctor' hi 1) objectively traveling with the doctor, while fun and fantastical, is also like!!!! fucking terrifying and dangerous!!!!! rory has died!!!! multiple times!!!!!!!!! no shit he wants himself and his wife to maybe take a few steps back sometimes. but like 2) people always point to amy's choice about this, how the village life thing is the Rory Side, and like. that was what, episode 7? of s5? is it possible that maybe that whole dreamscape thing was representative of his set in stone desires forever and ever?
it just drives me a little crazy. i've seen people say that rory is trying to suck the life out of amy, that he wants her to be his housewife or whatever, and it's just. that's never true? he wants them to be safe, he at first wants them to have a "normal" life, and then later, to find a way to balance their life with their friends and family and home and their life with the doctor. which is! he's allowed to want that!
like. like. god okay i hate "divorce arc" but can we talk about divorce arc for a moment because it's relevant.
RORY: It's arithmetic. It'll take longer with me because we both know, we've always known, that. Amy, the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me, which today is good news because it might just save both of our lives. AMY: How can you say that? RORY: Two thousand years, waiting for you outside a box. Don't say it isn't true, you know it's true. Give me your arm. Amy! AMY: Don't you dare say that to me. Don't you ever dare. RORY: Amy, you kicked me out. AMY: You want kids. You have always wanted kids. Ever since you were a kid. And I can't have them. RORY: I know. AMY: Whatever they did to me at Demons Run, I can't ever give you children. I didn't kick you out. I gave you up. RORY: Amy, I don't AMY: Don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box, because that is nothing, Rory, nothing, compared to giving you up.
this is it, right? this is it, bare essentials. 1) that rory believes he loves amy more than she loves him and he is going to die for her here because that's still true, because that doesn't stop being true whether he thinks she might want the doctor over him in s5 and it doesn't stop being true once she's pushed him away here. and 2) that whatever that dreamscape thing was, rory does not Need amy to have children for him. that's her insecurity, that's her fear, that's her expectation that she's placed on herself and that's she's been driving him away with because she's fucking traumatized by what was done to her body at demon's run. but rory doesn't need that of her and hell, probably wouldn't want her to go through that again even if she was physically capable of giving birth because clearly it is an idea that fucks her up!
and he cares. he cares so so much. they dont even get it he loves her so so so much. he doesn't love some housewife ideal of amy he's built up in his head like some people seem to think, some version of her that he'd be able to tame and change. he loves amy. as she is, exactly as she is.
people don't appreciate rory williams enough.
and like ive mostly talked about him and amy here which of course, foundational, but his dynamic with the doctor is great too. like. the speech in vampires of venice is a classic for a reason, rory sees through his shit and it scares him. but like. his relationship with the doctor is also a compromise and an understanding, you know? the doctor isn't just the third part of the amy/rory marriage because he's just literally Also There, he's a third part of their marriage because he's an active participant in negotiating this relationship. in the fact that rory has to learn to trust the doctor, and the doctor has to learn to reel himself back in a little for amy's safety (and rory's, but like. let's be real. rory thinks of amy's safety first, too.)
#off-topic but. not to be like. 'the doctor is acting like a widow in the snowman because he is literally a widow' but HE IS ACTING LIKE A#WIDOW BECAUSE HE IS LITERALLY A WIDOW.#textually river is the doctor's wife. but like. in action. the doctor is a part of the amy/rory marriage.#pond family nightmare and all#and when he loses them both he reacts. he behaves. like he has been widowed. he's lost his ponds.......#which rory is. sorry the show is just wrong about that <3 she would never be amy williams <3 that's rory pond to you <3#ask
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33
i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute
anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am
vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!
william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)
i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!
dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?
also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else
#very tempted to add a thing about the greats to vyncents section but i am not going to#anyway do u think it was weird for him to have the people he idolized in his brain. they knew things he thought#they felt things he felt they probably talked about it its no wormnder he keeps his emotions close to his chest etc etc etc#anyway.#im projecting a little bit on all of these can you tell. dont take any of this as canon i am fully like.#oh boy how can i put aspects of my godawful mental health practices on my favorite little superhero teens.#especially ashe be he has not a whole lot of canon basis . sorry ashe you get my emotion switch#asks#intertexts#friends!!!#jrwi pd#um!!! sorry i went off on the second william paragraph i think about the early stages of him gaining his powes a lot.#its the danny phantom in me#also that last sentence was especially mean of me sorry. i did yhat on purpose :) i love to be evil#OKAY. im going to bed for real now. i had 2 get this out of my system before i slept on it and forgot all the thoughts fresh in my mind
18 notes
·
View notes