#ive been silent for TOO LONG

[paranoidgemsbok]

chocolate guy callout post

All the branding on his videos?  the location he makes all this in? ‘the pastry academy’ ?

he co-founded that place in 2019... (just about around the time all those viral chocolate guy vids started circulating...)  the ‘school’ is located in las vegas.  his name is the one all over it, though.  The academy offers 10-week courses and masterclasses.  the 10 week course requires a 10%, non refundable deposit 

as of right now, this is the deposit cost

which means the entire, ten week course (which must be entirely paid by 60 days prior to your start date) will cost you $20,000

well at least you’re being taught by the famous chocolate guy, right?!

 not according to the site and not according to student accounts.  according to this AMA as well as the squirrely language on the FAQ , he will teach about 3 weeks of the course.  

at least hes a good teacher when he IS there, right?  

according to that same AMA, who is clearly giving a positive tone, he is sarcastic, he curses frequently, and he tends to not explain what he’s doing, leaving students scrambling to keep up.  that redditor provides multiple pictures from her time during the course in her history, so i’m inclined to believe her.

Housing is not provided, so you’re gonna have to find somewhere to stay near vegas for Ten Human Weeks, on top of the 20k you’ve dropped for the course.  meals are not provided at any point, either.

 will all this at least get students a good job?

the school does NOT provide references or find employment/interships, even in las goddamn vegas, where there are a million restaurants around the place.  you CAN however, do an unpaid internship AT the academy <3  

here’s my favorite part.

this isn’t a real diploma.

if you pay them, you will get a certificate, regardless of your demonstrated learned skill.  this certificate is not accredited by anyone other than the pastry academy.  you’re paying for amaury guichons name on a piece of paper.  you’re paying for clout. 

this is also, seemingly, how they can do things like this:

you’ll need a tourist visa- not a work or education visa.  because it’s not a school, or college.  

@clockworkrobotic​ pointed this out while i want ranting and raving at them

you can get an entire, real education, for more than ten weeks, for that much money.  

oh, also, all those craaaazy, so viral so tiktokable sculptures?  don’t you wish you could learn to make those?

all of those are also available as standalone, three-day classes!  wow!

and they cost $2,500!  boy wouldn’t it be crazy if those 20 sculptures that he can film being made and earn video ad revenue off of, while ALSO advertising for his college, if they could also be sold at corporate events orrr in his pastry shops across vegas as advertising pieces.  yknow, stuff like that

they’re currently offering 6 10-week courses during 2023. the soonest three of them are booked up (20 students per class, 20k per student.)  means he’s making 2.4 million per year off of those students ALONE.  this does not include those three-day courses, his netflix deal (also great advertising for his school!), the normal products hes slapped his brand onto* ,  and selling sculptures to corporate events

*same material + volume for $23 less, though he buys them in bulk so its more like $25+ less.  this is just one example, i JUST found this iste of his as i was making this post.  i also saw just 50g of colored cocoa butter for the same price as 200g of the exact same product elsewhere.

in conclusion,

[husbo-venus]

since im on my hater wave i'll also hop in and say i dont get the yooyeon hype AT ALL. she cant sing and she has the personality of a cardboard box. i dont get it!!!!!!

[fluffythecactus]

It's time I spoke out about how overrated croissants are. All food content and aesthetic bitches post pics of croissants and I am SICK OF IT. They simply are not good enough for all the attention they get.

[dukesoakedoats]

DUKE SPEAKS

I’m banging my head on the wall

listen annotating books is great and all , like I do that it’s super cool and nice

especially when it’s like a second hand book because then you get to see what that person thought about

BUT JUST HIGHLIGHTIN A SENTANCE WITH THOSE SHIT NEON YELLOW HIGHLIGHTERS IS NOT ANNOTATING, THAT IS A BLOODY CRIME AND A HALF

[immabreaksmth]

Byler is real!!

[tabooiart]

save me trucker-clown. trucker-clown save me.

[ping-ski]

not enough people talk about "dont turn the lights off" ngl. this song + the daycare theme song have been ON LOOP for me. on loop while i draw. on loop while i do chores and cook. on loop while i work. on loop if i need to concentrate on something- no ANYTHING. it's such a comfort to me. this song has a DEATH GRIP on me. WHIMSY UNMATCHED. you don't understand how much this song fuels me to keep creating DCA content for myself ohhh my god.

"lights on" doesn't even compare for me (WHICH OFC i like the song + with the recent release of "best friend" im still giddy)

which, i feel the need to add, this song is pivotal for my motivation to write EBY (wip dca fic im working on rn). like idk i feel invincible when this song plays ig lmao.

[musicalsiphonophore]

my workload this year is absolutely absurd (1.5x as much hw time as class time in maths, and since it’s double maths i have 8hrs of lessons weekly so that is A Lot, and probs as much hw time as class time in french and bio, but then i put extra time into bio myself). so i would expect to be deeply unhappy about this. but i’m not and i’m actually quite enjoying it. which is odd.

i guess it makes sense though. it has always been that in my spare time, i work on my hyperfixationy stuff, making notes on random crap or working on flute; i have never done nonworking free time stuff like watching tv (except going on tumblr ofc). and now a good half-odd of my school work is hyperfixation stuff. so i am, strangely enough, thriving under these conditions

[sammyloomis]

whilst im taraposting, i also wanna mention how cute it is that she always has tiny braids in her hair Somewhere. she is NOT beating the babygirl allegations with that one i fear

[seth-burroughs]

If fubuyomi has one shipper in the whole universe then that's me. Yes.... You heard right... It's goddamn fubuyomi post time. believe me I would further explain my intricate reasoning behind it (though you could infer about 50% of the whole thing purely off of just the absolutely immaculate vibes) but my ability to articulate or express myself in any way is failing on me as always. SAD! Maybe if you poke and prod at me about it I'll suddenly feel motivated to answer with 97 paragraphs of in depth explanation......... For now this Post serves as merely establishing my fubuyomi arc to the audience and I will not merely stop at this.. Expect madness in the coming day s but for now take the single 1 hour sketch I made

[gemharvest]

How many times can I go "I feel like ass but it's fine I'll be fine" until it becomes hollow to everyone around me. BHASJGFNJFGNK

[thueenz]

having a malicious entity attached to you is like a game of being surrounded by 50 angry men on xbox all telling you to kill yourself 24/7

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Watched the premiere of season 2 of the Bad Batch last night with mai gf and some friends and ooooooh.... Wreckerrrr

[bunnyb34r]

I wish there was a way to convey to your neighbors that you wanna be alone when you're doing yard work sggdgdgd like just bc I'm visible to you and outside does not mean I wanna be friends 😭

And like I don't want to be RUDE to people I just wanna work in peace and do my outside chores 😭😭😭

[napping-ghost]

Is anyone else suddenly getting bombarded by ads with sound on mobile? Ive been lately and it makes me violent.