#ive been reading a series of REALLY good fics recently -

[amyispxnk]

I'd run away and hide with you

Summary - Ellie joins you and Joel on your trek to Jackson. Along the way, your mind gets the better of you, and when you reach Jackson it all comes crashing down.

A/N: i don't have any excuses for why this took so long and im so so sorry guys 😭 2024 was hectic and ive only recently been able to catch up on stuff pls forgive mee

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (could probably be read as GN tho?)

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, violence, guns, language, PTSD, abuse mentions, panic attack/mental breakdown

Previous Chapter || Series Masterlist

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

You’re getting bad again; that much is visible to him now. But he doesn’t even know what’s wrong this time.

You never open up to him anymore. At the start, you’d tell him everything that was going on in that little head of yours. You’d let him hold you while you cried. You’d always talk to him.

Now you don’t talk and you practically smack yourself in the face whenever you cry, willing the tears away as you bite down on your lip.

It’s been a few months since you left Boston to visit the guys at Lincoln. It was a good trip. After that hiccup at the start, you had pretty much forgotten about your dad; he couldn’t even get to you in your sleep. You spent a lot of time hanging out with Frank whilst Bill and Joel ‘talked business’, and it was pretty fun seeing the little home they had built for themselves in the town - Frank even let you pocket some strawberries, and it was your first time trying them. Safe to say they were fucking amazing, and you told Joel all about it that night. He'd pretend to be annoyed at your incessant rambling but he liked to see you happy, distracted, somewhat.

When you came back, Marlene was bugging Joel about some new smuggling job in exchange for the car battery he’d been searching for and before you knew it, you were back on the road again to bring this kid - Ellie - to the fireflies.

She was a bright, bubbly kid. Constantly talking and telling you and Joel jokes from that damn pun book of hers.

Joel didn’t warm up to her nearly as quickly as you did, and you obviously knew why. You’d been staying with him for almost half a year now, and had gone through a lot of shit with him, so he’d told you about his past. About Sarah.

So you had a hunch that that was why he didn’t open up to Ellie easily. That was why he’d always just grunt at her whenever she asked a question, why he’d practically toss her food at her when she had to eat, why he would barely even acknowledge her.

You could always tell he never meant it though. He didn’t really hate her. He cared about her - that’s just how he was - and it scared him. He was a protector, a fighter, and, most importantly, a father. He basically took you under his wing and gave you all the paternal love you ached for before, and now he had Ellie to look out for too.

But as time went on, you started noticing things. He started laughing at her jokes, or engaging in conversations with her, even telling her about before. You then realised how much it actually pissed you off.

Seeing them getting along made you incredibly jealous. Joel was your protector, your carer, your da..

You shake your head. It still felt weird when you accidentally found yourself thinking of him like that, giving him that name in your head.

It had been a few months since you all left Boston, for good you hoped, you hated that place and all the unfortunate memories you left there, but now you were in the cold and unforgiving state of Wyoming.

Right now you were all huddled around a fire in a little alcove. Joel had some whiskey which he sipped on.. As he talked to Ellie. Fucking Ellie, who was joking around with him, asking him stupid questions about some sheep farm on the moon.

You weren’t paying attention, you didn’t care. You instead chose to stew in your own thoughts which were drifting back to before any of this. You stared into the fire as you remembered the times you were the one making Joel smile, the one he’d hold and comfort, the one he’d talk with at the end of a long day.

He didn’t do all of that with Ellie, but he didn’t do any of it with you anymore, either.

Suddenly, your thoughts go even further back, remembering your father. Remembering the constant screaming which definitely damaged your eardrums by the time you’d left, the incessant beatings you received - at least that taught you first-aid, right? - and the many, many nights spent crying yourself to sleep. You didn’t get to cry in front of your father, knowing he’d only hit you harder for being weak and useless, so you just waited until you were curled up on the little mattress on the floor, your dad already asleep from the alcohol.

You only come back to the present moment when you taste the metal of blood in your mouth. You didn’t remember biting down on your lip but apparently you had been so hard that it made you wince slightly when you pressed your fingers to it.

Joel didn’t notice. He was still talking with Ellie, his eyes soft as he looked at her over the flames.

Jealousy makes tears sting at your eyes. You’d thought finally, finally, you found someone who would actually care about you.

Now you watch bitterly as Ellie makes him laugh more than you’d done in a while, wondering what you did wrong.

-

You were clutching your handgun tight, not feeling safe out in the open like this despite not having encountered any dangers for a good week now. It felt like things were too safe, and you didn’t like it.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Ellie blowing air through her lips, and it actually kind of annoyed you, because what was she even doing?

Joel asked that question for you.

“What are you doing..?” He sighs heavily, glancing at her, to which she just smirks.

“I’m learning to whistle.” She replies simply.

“You don’t know how to whistle?”

“Does it look like I know how to whistle?” She huffs.

They go back and forth for a little longer, with Joel ending up defeated as Ellie continues her air-blowing, and you find your heart splintering at the sight of them bickering only like father and daughter would. It might not seem like much, but you’ve definitely noticed how Joel’s gotten closer with Ellie over the past few months. It’s upsetting, seeing his natural paternal instincts coming out with her too now.

The three of you make your way past a big dam and arrive at a river, at which point Ellie unhelpfully chirps up.

“Hey, guys, what if this is the river of death?” She jokes, not realising how poor her timing was, for you hear the heavy thuds of horse hooves almost as soon as she finishes her sentence.

“Hands up. Don’t make any sudden movements, or we shoot.” A gruff voice barks out. You know better than to go against what they’ve said, so you turn slowly with your arms raised, and wait for Joel to do any negotiating.

“We ain't lookin’ for any trouble, we’re just passin’ through.” Joel says, keeping his voice strong and unwavering.

“Drop the gun.” The man spits, and Joel slowly does as he says, his eyes wide with panic and betraying the collected and brave persona he attempts to put on when he realises that this might be it.

Ellie looks equally terrified, and you can’t blame her, especially when the man addresses her directly, telling her to step back and away from you.

“How ‘bout we just talk this through-” Joel starts.

“How about you shut the fuck up?” The man’s gun is now raised, and Joel knows better than to argue now, nodding.

The man asks about if any of you are infected, and you feel the dread setting into your bones. Joel tries to diffuse the situation and ease the man’s (unfortunately correct) suspicions, but it’s no use, as he whistles for the sniffer dog.

He offers you a bullet instead, the easy way out, and you all remain silent, panicking further as the dog sniffs you, then Joel, then makes its way to Ellie.

You don’t know where to look, you can see Joel starting to hyperventilate, you can see Ellie’s eyes shining with a terror you’ve never seen her showing before, and you just decide to not look anywhere. You squeeze your eyes shut before-

She’s giggling. Your brows furrow, eyes opening to see Ellie playing with the dog, her face getting licked, and she looks over at the two of you, giving you a sort of ‘how the fuck am I alive’ look, before petting the dog and smiling.

“You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What’s your business here?” The man shouts, and Joel tells him that he’s looking for his brother, trying to keep things brief.

A lady rides forward, asking Joel for his name. He gives it, and she’s silent, looking around at the three of you and trying to piece things together, before telling you to come with her.

-

Maybe something’s wrong with me, you think, picking at your nails absentmindedly as you trail behind the group - Maria, Joel, Ellie, and Tommy on their little tour of Jackson.

No, something’s definitely wrong with me. Because why else would you be so jealous of them? Of Joel finally finding his brother - another person to drive him away from you - and finally growing closer to Ellie.

Not to mention the way you just fucking clam up any time he asks about it.

Not to mention the way you just let it all build up, suffering in silence, waiting and waiting for the inevitable moment where you break.

You all end up in the dining hall afterwards and, while you’re pissed about everything else, you can’t deny some good food. You almost moan at the taste of proper, seasoned meat after all these months, wolfing it down in similar speed to Ellie and Joel.

“There’s more if you need it.” Maria adds after a few moments of watching you all, no judgement in her tone despite your rough actions.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Joel says, looking up briefly before continuing to eat. “Been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

“Actually I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie chimes in, making you clench your jaw. God, even her voice pisses you off. Nobody asked her to talk. “This is amazing.” She mumbles, food in her mouth.

Joel glances at her for a second.

“Sorry.” He tells Tommy and Maria. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

She doesn’t reply, looking up instead to see a girl watching her behind a pillar.

“What!” She barks, making the girl run away and making you scoff. She glances at you, frowning, before continuing to eat.

You knew she didn’t hate you - you were a good pretender most of the time. Laughing at her jokes, smiling tightly during conversations.. But lately you’d slipped a bit, and she was starting to notice.

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel mutters.

“What about her manners?” Ellie spits, always so defensive.

“She was just curious.” Maria soothes, “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right,” she says, nodding her head slowly, “well maybe I’ll teach them.”

It takes everything in you to not scream. She was annoying you so much. And she was getting all the attention because of her boisterous behaviour. You were sitting there, quietly, calmly, and no one batted an eye at you.

“And I want my gun back.” Ellie argues.

“They also aren’t armed.”

Tommy jumps in, sensing the tension growing even more.

“You know what, uh, I think y’all got off on the wrong foot.” He starts, but the two keep bickering.

Eventually, Tommy reveals that Maria is his wife, and after an eager congrats! from Ellie, and the most forced one possible from Joel, the meal ends.

-

Tommy quickly shows the three of you around the rest of Jackson - Maria chose to stay behind - before leaving you and Ellie in your temporary house, going to have a chat with Joel.

“Soooo.. That was awkward, huh?” She chuckles, trying to joke with you like you used to at the start of all this.

You nod, anger still bubbling up inside of you. You didn’t want to be angry at her, or Joel, even, and you knew if you talked with her for too long you’d just end up yelling at her, so you tried your hardest to keep calm.

She chews on her lip, nodding slowly before starting to ramble about how crazy this town is and how Joel is totally pissed at Tommy.

You keep nodding along, wondering how on Earth she manages to keep going on and on for way too long.

Eventually, she bids you goodbye, going to explore the town.

You wouldn’t want to hang out with yourself either, you think as she closes the door.

-

Joel came back home in the evening, pissed off. You tried saying hi to him, having decided you were done being annoyed at him, but he completely brushed you off before storming upstairs.

Maybe you weren’t making it up. Maybe he did just.. Start hating you.

Ellie’s been in her claimed room for an hour, and the house is quiet until about 10pm. You’re still on the couch, curled up, lost in your thoughts. About Joel, about Ellie, wondering about yourself, too. You were thinking about how nice this town is, how you didn’t want to leave tomorrow at all, but figured you’d definitely have to. You’d have to return to the wasteland outside these walls, and you’d probably never make it back to Jackson.

You’d had too many close calls already. God, or whatever was out there, had probably spared you enough.

Your thoughts spiralled and spiralled until it happened.

Everything came out.

It started with tears, silent as they streamed down your face, before the anger released itself, making you dig your nails into your skin in some final attempt at self-control, before you were storming upstairs.

You throw the door open to Joel’s room, and he blinks at you, having been in bed, probably trying to sleep while you soaked in your misery downstairs.

He’s such a fucking asshole, is all you can think.

“I’m not coming with you tomorrow.” You mutter, surprised you aren’t yelling already.

His brows furrow and he stands up, trying to approach you.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” He says, voice stern and rough.

“You clearly don’t want me around anyway! I’d just be making your life even harder if I came with you. I’ll.. I’ll just go my own way.” You huff, voice quivering towards the end when you realised you’d have to trek this world alone now.

He repeats his previous question and you bury your face in your hands, nails tightening against your fists as you try not to start screaming at him.

“When was the last time we had a proper conversation? Or you asked me how I was doing? Or you hugged me, or anything?! You couldn’t even be bothered to say hi to me earlier, and last night you and Ellie were being buddy-buddy by the fire while I was literally on the verge of tears. You clearly don’t care about me anymore. It’s just her.” You’re shouting now, rage consuming you as you get closer to him, shoving him backwards.

He grabs your arms roughly and you visibly flinch, eyes widening under your furrowed brows as you peer up at him. His face is blurry underneath your tears, and your mind short-circuits.

Your dad is back? Your mind tells you yes. Yes, and you’ve pissed him off now, he’s grabbing you because he’s about to throw you on the floor. You’re always doing something wrong - you should’ve known better than to argue. Only insolent, disgraceful children open their mouths in retaliation. You should respect your father. Now you have to apologise and pray he accepts it.

Immediately you’re cowering. He can’t even get a word out before you start apologising, body trembling as he loosens his grip on you.

“Please, sir, I- I’m so sorry- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to- to yell. I’m sorry, I’ll leave, just please d-don’t- please don’t h-urt me-” you choke out, voice raw.

His expression softens, brows knitted in concern now rather than frustration.

“Baby, come here-” he tries to say, but you’re shaking your head, inching further backward until you press against the wall, whimpering when you realise you���re trapped.

Now he’s going to hurt you. Your apologies mean nothing when he gets this mad.

Joel had only grabbed you. It was nothing like the abuse you used to face and yet it was still enough to make you completely crumble.

You sink to the floor, sobbing, still apologising. Ellie’s awake by now, her eyes wide as she listens to what she can make out. What the fuck did he do to you? She’s about to get up, to go and protect you. She doesn’t care if you’d been giving her the cold shoulder for the past few weeks, she doesn’t care if Joel seemed to be giving her the opposite at last. If you’re in trouble and it’s because of him she didn’t fucking care about anything else.

But then she pauses, just outside the door, hearing him cooing at you.

“Calm down honey. It’s okay, it’s me, Joel. Look at me, please.” He murmurs, crouched down in front of you but still giving you some space.

You had your arms raised in front of your face, legs tucked inward, trying to protect yourself from any potential blows, mind still loud and thoughts jumbled, but his voice suddenly helped to clear some of the fog.

You peered at him through the space between your arms and blinked the tears away as best you could.

“..Joel?” You croak after a moment, and he nods, a small smile blossoming on his lips.

“‘S me, sweet girl. Come here.” He opens his arms for you, and you shift closer, still timid and not making that final step.

He sighs softly, not disappointed or annoyed, just sad that your trauma managed to put you in this state.

“It’s just me, okay? It’s Joel, not.. not him. Look at my face, baby.” He whispers, and you do. Your dad wouldn’t call you baby or speak softly with you. Surely this man in front of you wasn’t him.

When you finally recognise him, you feel the tears blooming again, a small whimper escaping your throat before you’re crawling into his lap, clutching him tight. Still apologising, as always.

“Shh, it’s okay. What’s goin’ on, hm?” He says, voice gentle as ever as he holds you. He doesn’t squeeze you tight, or move in any way, he just lets you cling to him. He doesn’t want to suffocate you, knowing you probably already feel like you're drowning, barely tethered to him for support.

“Y-you don’t like me anymore.” You hiccup, and he shakes his head.

“No, sweetheart. Of course I like you. You’re my.. You’re my girl, yeah? Could never hate you.” He murmurs, brows furrowing. Why did you even think that?

“B-but you get on with Ellie way better now, and- and you don’t even talk to me anymore.”

He sighs softly. Ellie was.. A chatty kid. If she didn’t start all those conversations with him, he doubts he would’ve engaged with her nearly half as much as he did. He had grown to enjoy her ramblings, of course, but he was too stressed, anxious all the time on the road, to ever actually start the chats with her or you. He realises now how that would’ve looked to you, understands the emotional breakdown you’d just had, understands why you’d been so quiet recently.

You thought he didn’t want you anymore.

He gently pulls your head back, tilting it up so you could meet his eyes. His thumb catches a tear before it can fall and he starts explaining.

“Babygirl, I wasn’t not talkin’ to ya as much cuz I didn’t like ya. I was just stressed.. Too focused on gettin’ us across the country in one piece to worry about conversations. Ellie’s.. a bit of a chatterbox so of course I had to be respondin’ with her, but..” he trails off, guilt consuming him more and more as he tries to reason with himself. Yes he was nervous but that’s no excuse for the state his negligence has landed you in.

“Fuck, there ain’t no excuse, really. I just.. Please, please believe me right now. I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t hate you and I never ever could, okay?” He pleads, eyes searching yours for any sort of understanding or forgiveness.

He definitely doesn’t see hatred there like he’d seen when you first stormed up here, no, he just sees confusion, worry.

“You really don’t hate me? Even- even after I gave you so much attitude and I was shouting at you? Surely I deserve.. You shouldn’t be being nice to me…” You whisper, brows furrowing, confused at the fact someone was apologising to you. Normally you were the one apologising. He’d been the only person to ever show you compassion and understanding, and you thought, surely you’ve fucked it all up now.

He sighs again, shaking his head. “I could never ever hate you, honey. Never. No matter what you do or say to me, I can promise you hatred would never even cross my mind.”

You whimper again, nodding. “Okay.” Is all you can get past your lips, your body shaking with sobs again as he finally allows himself to hug you properly, rocking you back and forth and stroking your hair.

He isn’t surprised when you fall asleep like this, curled up in his arms. You’ve exhausted yourself in every way tonight, and you deserve a good, long rest.

He grunts softly as he stands up, still keeping you clutched in his arms as he makes his way to the bed and sets you down. He’ll take the couch, he figures. His back is fucked already.

But then you stir a little, blinking up at him as he watches you.

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“Can.. can you please stay tonight? I just.. I’m…” You can’t get the words out, but he understands. He knows what you need.

He gets in beside you, kissing your forehead after you cuddle up to him and drift off slowly, blanketed by his comforting presence, your mind a little less stormy with his reassurances now there instead.

Sleep evades him for much longer, though, distant memories of Sarah swirling within his mind. He wonders what she’d think of him, of you, of the way he’s taken you in like this. Would she be proud? Would she be angry? Would she feel like he’s replaced her?

He shakes his head, knowing that those thoughts would just cause him to distance himself from you again.

He finally manages to fall asleep at 2am, dreaming of Christmas trees and a little girl with curly hair.

Tysm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Tags - @tbeep @rosierogie @jjlevin @axshadows @pedropascalsbbg @pedroshotwifey @pedrosfanny @s0meoone

[leafatlaw]

going to be a hater in the tags ;P

[hyewka]

or can u suggest any txt fic here (preferably the long ones w chapters) that u enjoyed?

sorry for the extremely extremely late reply but i’ll list some long fics + txt series’s that ive enjoyed with some comments attached to each one. spoiler alert, a completed txt series is pretty hard to find lol

series

lover = lo$er (sub!gyu, virgin fic)

it would be easy to just straight up recommend every @/wildernessuntothemselves series and i might just succumb to that later on but this is pure submissive beomgyu heaven, served as my first real awakening and i would probably attribute most of my sub gyu writing to this fic alone. 10/10, has a love triangle bit and beomgyus kind of insane

criminal conscience (dom!gyu, crime au)

on the other side of the spectrum, this is pussy clenching dom beomgyu goodness and i dont think it gets better than this. the writing is so compelling it fully immerses you in the narrative, even im getting sucked in to beomgyu’s manipulation (whats new really), blaring red flags and all. its currently on hiatus though but i would catch up either way beomiracles is a pretty consistent writer, she’d probably pick it up sooner or later :)

mosquito (soobin)

sorry this is going to be all over the place lol but this is also still ongoing (its only two parts in) but this writer is absolutely insane. narrative feels fleshed out and though it mainly follows soobin’s perspective and feelings, i am quite enjoying it so far. it has some idol x idol action as well, not the main focus of course but it is written in detail

one way (dom!beomgyu, themes of sadism)

this ones a three parter and its completed. by the same writer mentioned previously (soobrat), very very good storytelling, keeps you on your toes and has a hold on your emotions but like mentioned, it has a bit of an extremity in the smut and it is undeniably toxic but its good

sneaky link (dom yeonjun, the other woman trope)

i havent read this in a while but i remember staying up all night reading all of it lol. i would probably not recommend this to people who really cant read infidelity since thats what the fic is based around but it isnt cast in a very favorable light anyway. really toxic, seriously good

fuck you series (sub gyu, enemies to lovers, band au)

its really cute and the e2l set up is believable enough since theyre band rivals. beomgyu is so so so cute in this even if a little insufferable to mc lol. i would also recommend fairyofshampgyu’s now live series but its currently on an indefinite hiatus (its sooo good as well though so if youre willing, you should check it out)

nabi (best friends to lovers beomgyu, no smut)

two parts in, not completed but im following it currently and god i love them together their dynamic is soooo fun to read, you wont get bored

jerk! (enemies to lovers, beomgyu fic, no smut)

its another band au and its also ongoing. there isnt a consistent update schedule so that might be a minus but the most recent chapter was from a month ago so its safe to say it hasnt been left in the dust (thank god). very very good writing, excited to see how their relationship takes off

bullying choi soobin (sub soobin)

submissive soobin and its good, of course im recommending this. its finished and a 4 parter

sugar (dom!yeonjun, dom!gyu)

unfortunately probably forever incomplete but i love it and i might actually go back to reading it for the third time

let me into your world (non smut beomgyu series)

i havent read a soulmate premise in sooo long so this was refreshing to read, good stuff

supermodel (dom gyu and sub i believe)

its just. Amazing. a two parter but a goodie

the city that never sleeps (bsf smut)

also two parts but both parts are pretty long, really good stuff

ok for the life of me i cannot find this one huening series where he was getting bullied by reader and they were secretly fucking?? that one was literally perfect submissive men shit so if you find it if youve struck gold

long full fics (6k+)

telepathy (fantasy, dom!gyu)

a little out of the box compared to all the fics ive recommended so far and thats what makes it so special and good

duality (dom!kai)

i actually havent read this one yet but i will soon, i just thought id add it here anyway since i know ill love it

killer instinct (taehyun fic)

very plot heavy and it centers taehyun mainly. i could go ahead and cheat and just list out every single koqabear fic lmao but this ones a gem, very happy i set aside the time to read it

the redemption of choi yeonjun (dom!yj)

im not personally a fan of the trope but when it was originally teased the smut sounded heavenly and honestly, it is. such a good dom yeonjun here but beware hes a little (a lot) mean lol. he changes by the end

like cat and mouse! (sub gyu, inexperienced)

again, worth the reading time investment. i love submissive gyu, he is everything here and more

love love love (sub gyu, royal au)

i have probably read this a total of 30 times

i hate you (enemy!beomgyu, dom beomgyu)

ok sorry im cheating here a bit this isnt long but its so good you should check it out anyway

[augustghosts]

Stewy Hosseini x female reader

A classic tale of fucking your ex at your friends wedding. We’ve all been there, I think.

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: 18+ pls, minors will be blocked! Not proofread which is defo a warning, lmk if you spot anything ive missed. Smut. Oral f!recieving and protected pinv. Alcohol and drugs are mentioned slightly.

Little authors note sorry: Hey everyone i am actually alive lol. 5 months later i return writing for someone new… not out of character for me. I watched succession for the first time recently (late asf to the party i know) and i read some amazing stewy fics so i thought i’d add my piece because i’m obsessed with him. Sorry to all my tommy miller babes on here, i swear i tried writing for him again but my inspiration for tommy fics seems to have gotten lost. I really struggled when i tried finishing my half way done tommy series lol. But when i started writing this one it just floooowed and i finished it in like a few hours. Maybe my tommy love will come back someday but for now…. This. Hope someone out there enjoys lol <3

You’ve felt eyes on you all night. Everywhere you go you end up meeting his eyes across the room. Eveytime you look over at him, he’s already looking. He should be the one that's embarrassed, you’ve caught him looking at you multiple times, but you’re always the one who ends up looking away first and feeling your skin heat with the embarrassment of being caught. While he shamelessly stares at you over the rim of his glass, that awful fucking smirk gracing his lips and he watches you squirm. Honestly, it’s kinda creepy. And you almost hope he approaches you so you can tell him that.

Towards the end of the night he starts to close in, starts inching closer to you. He starts making conversation with the people around you, people at the bar next to you, and eventually your friends. Asking them how they are, how it’s been such a long time. Then, he finally gets to you. He takes his time looking you over before he speaks and you’re determined not to be the first one to talk, so you let him stare. Both of you standing in silence for a few seconds before he finally speaks.

“You look great.”

”Thanks.” Keeping it simple seems safe. You want to tell him he looks good too because fuck, he does. He always does. He notices your eyes drifting over his suit and tie and he chuckles.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“Uhm,” He trails off - pretends to think. “I’m at a fucking wedding, and i’m enjoying myself.”

”Yeah?” You ask, he nods in agreement. The way his eyebrows raise tells you he’s still being sarcastic, still mocking you. “Watching my every move all night is how you enjoy yourself?”

“Actually, yes.” He confirms. “Watching you squirm all night was pretty fun.”

”I wasn’t.” You attempt to defend yourself, downing your drink. “I was just-“

“I’ll get you another.” He cuts you off, snatching your glass out of your hand - not even bothering to ask. You almost try to protest, but you don’t see the point. You know him too well, you know how stubborn he is, once he gets an idea it’s hard for him to let it go. If the idea he’s got tonight is paying for your drinks, then so be it - who were you to complain. You sit down on the stool next to you, watching as Stewy makes the bartender laugh as he orders your drinks. You're kind of pissed that you still can’t figure him out sometimes, you know him better than most people - maybe better than anyone, but he still confuses you. It has been a while since you last saw him, but you conclude that he hasn’t changed much.

When he comes back with your drinks he puts yours down in front of you and asks: “Still your favorite?”

You nod, kind of pissed that he got it right. You try to convince yourself that he didn’t actually remember that small detail. That he’s just been watching you order them all night during your staring competition.

“So, how’s your family?” You ask, cringing at how lame you sound. You just don’t want to let him start a conversation you don’t want to have.

He smiles, because he knows what you're doing. “They’re fine. I still don’t see them much, but they’re good.”

”You’re still too busy to see your family?” You joke.

“Mhm,” His smile almost looks genuine as you joke with each other. “I’m always busy.”

“Busy stealing people's money?”

He laughs then, a genuine laugh that makes you laugh as well. God, you don’t want to admit that you missed him. But everyone else just seems so boring after him, you’ve never found the same thing you’d had with him with anyone else.

“You never really understood business did you?” He laughs.

“I understand perfectly.”

“Sure,” He agrees. “I explained it to you enough times.”

“Yeah, and bored me to death.”

”Is that why you broke up with me?”

His question completely catches you off guard and you almost choke on your drink. You almost want to ask him if he purposefully said that while you were taking a sip, but you’re too busy trying to supress your coughing.

“Jesus, it was just a question.” Stewy laughs at you again, his warm hand coming to rest on your back as he watches you almost choke.

“Fuck you.” You say pointedly, after getting yourself back under control. ”You know why we broke up. Also, I broke up with you?”

”You did.”

“Stewy, it was amicable.”

“Was it?” His face goes serious again and you instantly miss the sound of his laugh. You just sigh, taking another sip of your drink. This was exactly the conversation you didn’t want to have.

“I thought you said you were enjoying yourself,” You say after a few moments of silence. “Don’t ruin it now.”

”I lied.” He says. “I always hated those two, I can't believe they actually got married.”

”Match made in hell.” You agree, both of you laugh softly again.

“You know I also lied earlier when I said you looked great.” He says, surprising you. You brace yourself for whatever joke he’s going to make about you, you shouldn't have pissed him off, he can get mean when he’s pissed off. It’s not his fault, it’s just his defense mechanism - but nevertheless you brace yourself for his comment - and he surprises you again by saying: “You look fucking incredible.”

You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. You opt for another sip of your drink instead and he watches you in amusement.

“I only came because I hoped you would be here,” He continued. You still can’t tell if he’s being serious or not, that damned smirk on his face makes you think he’s making fun of you, but those big brown eyes look so sincere.

“Stewy, stop.” You sigh.

“Come on, baby.” He murmurs, he leans forward in his chair and places his hand on your knee. The nickname makes you tense up. Makes a familiar heat spread through you. “Let me get you another drink and take you up to my room.”

Fuck. He’s fucking good at this, and he knows it. He knows exactly how to get you. You’re trying to think, but the alcohol and the way his thumb is rubbing your knee is clouding your mind. He waits patiently, watching as you look down at his hand and back up to his face. Your eyes stop at his lips before meeting his gaze.

“Alright,” You say, you swear you can actually see his eyes light up. “Go get me another drink and show me your room. Then I'll decide.”

“You got it.” He grins and practically jumps out of his seat. When he returns he holds out his hand to help you off your stool, the heels you decided to wear and the drinks weren’t a good match. He hands you your drink, although you don’t really want it now. His hand finds its place on the small of your back and a fire lights up somewhere inside of you. His touch feels so familiar - comforting. He leads you out of the bar and to the elevators. Punching in the right number before the doors close, leaving you both alone in the small space. It suddenly feels too quiet.

You want to touch him, but once again you don’t want to be the one to make the first move. You don't want him to know how desperate you are for him, although you think he already knows. He’s watching you in silence, his eyes dark and wanting. A look you’ve seen a million times before - a look that makes you excited. The elevator ride is short, Stewy isn’t the type to kiss you in an elevator, and you know that, so you’re not disappointed when the doors open and he hasn’t touched you or said a word.

He gestures for you to leave first, putting his hand on the door so they don’t close on you, or him. Some people would find this strange, the silence, but it’s a game you’ve both played with each other before. A game you both enjoy. He guides you to his room with a hand on your back, just like before. When he unlocks the door and opens it for you, you suppress a gasp. As usual, Stewy needs to have the best of the best. The bride and groom's room probably isn’t even this nice. They probably couldn’t afford it - Stewy can.

“Well?” His voice sounds from behind you.

“Hm?”

”What do you think? You said you would decide when you saw the room. Is it good enough for you?”

”Uhm,” You pretend to think as you set your drink down on the dresser, turning around to dramatically inspect the room. It earns a playful eye roll from Stewy. He knows what impresses you and he knows he already has you. He already had you down at the bar.

“I think it’s okay.” You conclude, turning to face him. He hums in sarcastic agreement, looking you up and down. He’s playing the game again, who is going to end it first. Who is going to lose. You don’t like losing, and neither does he. But honestly, haven’t you already lost? He has you in his room for christ sake. He has you standing in front of him, already dripping and all he’s done is touch your leg a little and look at you the right way. So you put aside your pride and step towards him, you bring your hands up to his cheeks and roughly bring his face down to your, finally connecting your lips.

His hands immediately find their home at your hips, pulling you tightly against him. The kiss immediately turns from an innocent kiss to a hungry and passionate one, his tongue dominating your mouth. You both know each other's bodies so well, there's no need for taking it slow or asking questions.

“Fuck, Stewy.” You sigh as he backs you towards the bed, gently setting you down and climbing over you. Kissing every inch of your skin.

“God, I missed that.” He groans, marveling over the way you sigh his name. “I missed you, baby. I can admit it. I want you so badly.”

You moan softly at his words, at the way his lips feel on your neck - at how right this feels. You had missed him too. He catches you off guard when he pulls away to ask, ”Have you been fucking other people?”

“Sorry?” You giggle, “Why are you asking me that now?”

”Have you?” He presses.

“I ju- maybe.” You stutter, already missing his lips.

”Maybe?”

”I know you’ve been fucking as well.” You accuse, suddenly defensive. You push yourself up onto your elbows, despite still being trapped underneath him.

“Yeah, I have.” He says coolly.

“So?” You ask, irritated. Why was he doing this?

“So, none of them were as good as you.” His words earn an eye roll from you. “Nothing can compare to this pussy.” He adds, his hand sliding down to roughly grip your thigh and bring it over his waist. Oh, shit. His half hard cock is pressing perfectly against your pussy in this new position, the material of your dress and his suit pants keeping you apart. “And, i bet none of those guys fucked you the way i do.” One of his hands comes up to grip your chin, his other keeping him above you. He forces you to look him in the eyes as he asks, “Did they?”

“No.” You practically squeak. “None of them were like you. No one is like you, Stewy.”

You’re not even lying, after having sex with Stewy for so long nothing compared. You had gotten accustomed to a man who knew what he was doing, to a man who was generous in bed. You had gotten used to a man who could make you cum. No one had achieved that after him. Your answer obviously pleases him, he grins and leans down to kiss you again.

He ends the kiss and stands up leaving you spread out on the bed, you whine underneath him, chasing for more. He ignores you and slips off his suit jacket. He makes a show of undoing the top button of his shirt and loosening his sleeves in order to push them up to his elbows. Fuck, he looks so good. You almost want to tell him, but you don;t need to. He can see the way you're watching him, that look in your eye. He knows what you look like when you’re turned on - and this is it. He grabs your thighs and pushes your dress up to your waist, getting a good look before sliding your panties down your legs, throwing them over his shoulder somewhere.

“I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve, baby. I know what you need. I can’t wait to taste you.” He rambles as you whimper in anticipation, he presses a kiss to your ankle as he watches you buck your hips.

He has his mouth on you before you can respond. Just as you remember, he is painfully and infuriatingly good at it. He still eats pussy like it's his second nature. He still looks up at you through his gorgeous lashes as he traces your clit with his tongue. He has to hold back from grinning against you as you writhe and whimper. He groans as you sigh his name and run your hand through his hair. You remember how much you love it when he’s like this, when he's animalistic and loses his composure.

Your legs tighten around his head as he digs his fingers into the flesh of your thighs. It’s fucking embarassing how quickly you barrel towards your climax, but it has been a while. And no one else devours you like this, no one else is this good. You should have expected it. He recognizes it immediately, breaking away from you for a second to speak.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby?”

“Yes! Please, Stew.” You moan, your hands grabbing at his hair attempting to push him back down. He smiles wickedly, licking his lips as he watches you.

“God, I love it when you beg for me.” He mumbles before diving back in, allowing you to push his head down and maneuver him.

"Please make me come," you groan, arching your back. “I'm so close, don’t stop.”

And he doesn’t stop, he continues to lap at you and work you though your orgasm as you come against his mouth. His beard delightfully scratches your sensitive skin, leaving behind a delicious burning feeling. He’s painfully hard now, after watching you come and hearing you moan his name. You begin to push at his head when you come down, usually he would tease you a little now, knowing how sensitive you are and make the most of it. But he’s so fucking desprate for you, he has been all night. He’s been dreaming about being inside of you for hours now.

He’s instantly on his feet, undoing his belt and undressing. You follow suit, weakly sitting up - doing the best your legs can do when they feel like jelly, you lift your dress over your head and throw it on the floor with his clothes. He’s climbing back on top of you, kissing you hungrily. His lips and chin are still wet with your juices and you moan into his mouth as you taste yourself on his lips.

“How do you want me?” You ask breathlessly, fully prepared to submit to him- to do whatever he asks.

“Fuck,” He groans at your words, having to pause for a second. “Can you turn over for me?”

You smile, leaning up to kiss him one more time before turning over and crawling to the middle of the bed, pushing yourself up onto your knees and holding yourself up on your elbows, so your back is deliciously arched the way you know he likes. You grin as you hear him groan behind you, his hand petting your ass before he delivers a light slap to it. He steps away from you and you hear the rustling of a condom wrapper, did he have that in his fucking pocket? His words from earlier repeat in your head, ‘I only came because I hoped you would be here.’

“Plese fuck me, Stewy.” You moan softly, knowing exactly what he wants to hear. “I need you.”

”How bad?” He teases. The head of his cock is ever so slightly pressing against your entrance, he’s hardly holding back as he waits for your answer, pushing in slightly.

“So bad,” You sigh, pushing back on him so he slips easily inside of you. You both moan loudly, you love that he’s so loud and shameless in bed. He stays still once he’s bottomed out.

“Yeah?” He says through gritted teeth.

“Yes! Please move. I need to be fucked properly, only you can do it.”

The sound he makes behind you is heavenly, you knew that would work. He pulls out of you before pushing back in slowly. He always does this, he starts slow and then builds up to a bruising pace. All you can do is whimper beneath him and beg for him to fuck you faster. Your pussy sucks him in greedily, his cock pushing against that spongy spot inside of you with every thrust.

“You take me so fucking well. Like you were fucking made for me.” His voice is deep and raw.

”I think I am,” You moan. “You feel so fucking good!”

“Are you gonna come for me again, sweetheart? Gonna soak my cock?”

All you can do is furiously nod your head and moan beneath him, the sounds of your pussy squelching as he fucks you is almost embarassing. You don’t have time to think about it because he’s pulling out of you and gently flipping you over onto your back. He lifts your legs and rests his knees on the bed, throwing your feet over his shoulders and he leans over you. He guides his cock back into you and dives down to kiss you, his tongue pushing past your lips in a messy kiss. You’re both moaning into each other's mouths, not minding when your teeth momentarily clack together.

“Come on gorgeous,” He groans, he’s breathless - pressing kisses to your face between his words. You can tell he’s close too. “Come for me. Squeeze my cock. Let me fucking have it.”

He feels you tighten around him as you come, his name leaving your lips like a fucking prayer. Your hands tightening around his neck, nails digging into his skin.

“Fuck, that’s it. You look so beautiful, baby.” He talks you through it, still fucking you as you come around him.

“Oh my god,” You moan. “Come inside of me, Stewy.”

You know he’s wearing a condom, but the dirty talk is hot. He thinks so too, because that's all it takes for him to come. His head is buried in your neck, his teeth biting into the soft skin under your ear. No doubt leaving a mark, but you’ll worry about that tomorrow. Right now all you can think about is how hot he sounds when he comes, you love that he isn’t quiet, that he isn’t afraid to groan your name into your neck.

He stays still for a second, lifting his head and kissing you - gently this time, before he pulls out. You rest for a minute while he discards the condom. You hear rustling and sniffing while he’s in the bathroom and you almost want to yell out to him - this is why we broke up. But you ignore it, getting up from the bed and breezing past him as he leaves the bathroom. You close the door behind you, taking the hotel robe off the back of the door and cleaning yourself up, doing what you need to do. You wonder if you should shower, but decide you should probably go back to your own room to do that.

When you leave the bathroom he’s sitting in the bed under the covers, the tv remote in his hand. Your dress and underwear have been picked up and folded on the chair beside the bed. It makes you smile, how can someone be so thoughtful but so selfish at the same time. That’s why you broke up, you need to keep reminding yourself.

“So, I guess I'm gonna go back to my own room.” You say as you gather your things. You’re on your way back to the bathroom with your clothes when he speaks up.

“Okay,” He says, respecting your decision. “Why?”

”Why?” You repeat, stopping your tracks. “Don’t you want me to go?”

”No. I want you to watch tv with me.”

”Seriously?” You laugh before you realize he’s being serious.

“Yeah, seriously.” His face is impassive, and hard to read. But you can’t resist those big brown eyes and you drop your clothes back onto the floor and slip into bed with him.

“Hey,” He whines as he looks at your dress. “I picked that up and folded it for you and you just threw it on the floor again.”

“Sorry, how rude of me.” You laugh at the mock pout on his face. You’ve sat pretty far away from him and he eyes the space between you.

“Come here.” He says lifting up his arm so you can cuddle into his side. God, you shouldn’t be doing this, you should have left. But he smells good and this bed is so comfortable.

“Will you stay the night here?” He asks quietly

”I shouldn’t.” You sigh.

“I know.” He agrees.

Of course you end up staying the night, Stewy is very convincing. With his promise of round two and a warm shower in the morning, it’s hard to resist. He also promises an expensive breakfast after the shower, but he says, ‘only if you behave yourself.’ You spend the whole night talking and laughing with him. Not only is he the best fuck you’ve ever had, he’s also the funniest person on earth. He’s got the kindest eyes you’ve ever seen but he’s also the biggest assole you’ve ever met. He’s so confusing, but that night you decide that maybe taking a little more time to try and figure him out won’t be so bad - only time will tell.

[mallgothyamaguchi]

ive seen that all of your bookmarks are tskym and you dont have many of them (not that thats a bad thing!!!) could you give a bookmark tour and like give a reveiw of each?

ofc! tsukkiyama bookmark tour begin!

autumn by windofjune - this fic is ongoing but i'm just totally in love with the author's writing style. essentially, tsukishima and yamaguchi have had mutual feelings for a long time, but nothing was ever acted upon, so in college, they begin to drift apart from one another even when living in the same apartment. tsukishima faces an injury to his knee and yamaguchi gets dumped by his boyfriend, leading to their slow-burning reconciliation as they both recover from their emotional and physical injuries. everything is so beautifully written and i'm not-so-patiently waiting for chapter 8 hehe

Sleeping Habits by BlueColoredDreams - piece written in a series of vignettes as tsukishima and yamaguchi grow older, ending in their high school years. very sweet and very fluffy. i'm a snuggler, so any fic that involves sleeping and cuddling, i'm there.

(Not) A bad day by WhereDoesTheTimeGo - yamaguchi has a bad day, and all of his insecurities bubble up, so tsukishima comforts him. they both have their own self-doubts and insecurities unveiled, but everything's okay with a snuggle and first kiss. you will notice there is a pattern in my fic tastes, lol.

Home Is Where The Heart Is by Pepper_Moon - very short and sweet domestic fic about the two moving in together in a cottage in the countryside after marrying. artist yamaguchi and writer tsukishima. SO COTTAGECORE. the author is also currently writing a chaptered piece for day 1 of tsukkiyama week i'm very much looking forward to reading!

just ourselves by beefybuttlord - another short and sweet fic where hinata asks yamaguchi what his relationship with tsukishima really is. essentially it's a "what are we" fic. puts how i think their canon relationship is in 800 words.

hottaru-kun by palebluestings - very much plays around with the significance of names and naming conventions in japanese culture, and the different ways kanji can be read. tsukishima has started calling yamaguchi 'tadashi', but yamaguchi still calls him 'tsukki'. also, cue tsukishima being a little jealous of yamaguchi hanging out with his brother. it's a cute and thoughtful fic.

The sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me. by yamaguchiforpresident - as they get older, yamaguchi gets more and more attention from girls (and guys), and by their third year, tsukishima realizes he's in love with his best friend. lots of pining from tsukishima, and does he do anything about it? hmmm... a little bit of yamayama (at least from tsukishima's perspective), so yet again, jealous tsukishima >:)

Won't You Stay For The Ride? (The Views Will Be Nice) by xxet - self-hating tsukishima begins to have his walls broken down by yamaguchi as they grow up. tsukishima is totally whipped, and everyone knows. flips back and forth between past and present throughout. good mix of fluff and angst.

i wish to be found by TheFledglingDM - ok this one isn't in my bookmarks but i'm actually obsessed with this fic i'm shocked i didn't bookmark it. essentially a 'You've Got Mail' au, where yamaguchi is a small bookstore owner who took it over after his mother passed and tsukishima is a financial executive for a chain bookstore with aspirations to become a published author. when tsukishima helps to make the decision to put a store location near yamaguchi's bookstore, yamaguchi fears he may be put out of business. unknowingly, for a whole year prior, they've been online best friends over discord. mistaken identity, enemies to lovers, influence of and allusions to pride & prejudice, what more could you want from a fic? so skillfully written. i will never shut up about it. i finished it a month ago and i think about it every other day.

hope you enjoyed my thoughts on these fics! honestly, i haven't been reading many fics recently since life got pretty busy and then that makes me pretty tired and i've been very focused on writing my own fics...but! with all the entries for tsukkiyama week i have so much new content to read. i'm still pretty new to ao3 (it's been a little over a year since i started reading fics on there), so that kind of explains why my bookmarks list is pretty short, and also i tend to bounce between different forms of reading like manga to physical books to fanfiction. kind of just depends on what my mood is at the moment. now that i've started writing, i've really been fueling my tsukkiyama brainrot into that, lol. when it's slow at work, i'm collecting ideas in my brain for them.

bottomline: tsukkiyama will always and forever be my #1, so if there's a fic i'm reading it and if they have zero fans, i'm dead.

[dilfhos]

PART ONE.

#!WHO; Sukuna the demon ft. GOJO.

#!CC: deadoves! no warning. MDNI. [read the tags on original knktbr fic. this is still dc.]

note: soo, ive been craddlin’ this baby since 2019, only recently deciding to add Sukuna and Gojo. very begrudgingly posting it here, however i will not be updating if this flops. ik how tumblr is with long fics/series—unfair. so if you’re interested lmk or else you can read on my ao3 !!

You arrive at the old Kaisen house, adoring the scene. The demon sets his sights on you.

WC. 3.8k+

[I.] [II] [III.] | KINKTOBER ‘23 | plz reblog if you enjoyed, id love to reach an audience!

“We’re here,” Your eyes fluttered open, the sun rays spilling into your vision as you stirred awake. Beside you was your best-friend, Gojo Satoru, sitting back, his hand tugging at the hem of his damp shirt. You looked over at him then forward through the front window, met with an old gate. Behind it was the house, large in stature and almost intimidating as it stood in front of the afternoon sun, casting long shadows along the lawn.

“Looks like the gate is—”

“I got it!” You interrupted eagerly, unbuckling your seatbelt and leaping out the car. You made your way towards the gate, unlatching the metal and pushing it open. You then stood, admiring the house further.

It was a beautiful old giant, its Victorian style exterior being the highlight of it all. You glanced around you, noticing how the rest of the street seemed almost separated from your patchy plot of land. As if the neighboring houses were trying to get away. Segregated from the quaint smaller houses filled with decored and neat lawns, was your new home.

You made a motion towards the car, prompting Satoru to reach and grab the bag that held your prized item. You took your camera and eagerly paced back and forth near the entrance until you found a good spot to take a photo.

Yeah, there would be plenty of pictures in the future. The house was even more beautiful through the lens as you snapped a couple. In front of the house to the left was a large tree, nearly scarce of green leaves as it added more touch of age to the scene.

“How long are you going to be out there?” Satoru called, an arm draped over the open window. You could hear a tinge impatience in his tone but you didn’t move yet.

“Sorry! I’m coming!”

He sighed, leaning his head back against the headrest, fingers strumming against the wheel. A thin coat of sweat beaded along his skin, slicking his white locks down against his forehead.

This house really gave him the creeps. He understood you wanted to get away from everything but he didn’t think it would go this way.

A couple months ago, he had visited you in the city and was surprised by the fact that you were wanting to move out. Not just out of the apartment but out of the entire area. You told him you wanted a change in pace, in scenery. To quit your current job for the time being and just be at peace. He honestly thought you were out of your mind but after coming to terms with how that life was treating you, he supported the decision. He was your best friend, he would always support your decisions, even the…bold ones.

His eyes scanned the surroundings.

This part of town was quietly tucked in the country and had plenty of beautiful places to photograph and “run through fields” as he put it. Given the little population and even fewer vacancies, there weren't any options to live except for the old manor a little bit on the edge of town.

Being protective, Satoru didn’t waste time in Shadowvale’s research and made privy to the stories but he didn’t believe them. It was just a silly ghost legend made up by the oldheads to spook outsiders and the younger generations. But it didn’t stop him from telling you about them.

Being much like your friend to find the story silly, you laughed it off, ecstatic that you would finally be moving. And he wasn’t that far of a drive from you so he supposed it was fine.

Satoru watched as you finally circled back to the passenger side, eyes down on the camera screen. You got in, sighing at the gust of cool air. The car began moving again as it crept forward past the gate and along the dirt path that led up to the large house.

“Get any good shots?”

“Yes! It’s more beautiful through the lens than in person. And the way the light was hitting it…” Satoru smiled as he listened to you excitedly fill him in as if he could understand a half of what you were talking about.

. . .

“What is in here? ” Satoro croaked, nearly collapsing on the porch. He had one of your boxes in his arms, stumbling toward the door. Following close behind him was you with another box. You rested a foot upon the first step of the porch, ignoring the stressed creak it brought.

“Just clothes?” You honestly didn’t know. It could have been anything really and as far as you knew, it wasn’t even heavy. He probably just wanted something to complain about.

“They feel like bowling balls,” He sat the box down in the foyer, swiping at sweat that began to bead down his temple. You rolled your eyes as you followed behind him placing the box on top.

The sky was beginning to darken, more clouds obscuring the afternoon sky. Shadows seemed to appear in the dimness, warping spindly shapes across the lawn. The thicker clouds that seemed to come out of nowhere loomed over the countryside with promises of rain in the night.

You shivered, arms pricking in goosebumps as you crossed the threshold, placing down another box. It seemed so cold all of a sudden, a stark contrast to how it was nearly an hour ago when your clothes were practically melting against your skin. You jumped when you felt a firm hand grip your shoulder.

“Woah, jumpy already?” Satoru grinned, pinching your cheek. “If you’re gonna chicken out, tell me now so I won’t have to load the rest.”

“You’re just trying to get out of work, Gojo,” You playfully shoved his arm and made your way back to the car. The only thing that remained was your television, propped up at an odd angle because of its large size. The trek to the house was awkward with the screen nearly bigger than you, but you made it, sitting the appliance against the wall of the foyer.

At least the chill was gone, after having broken another sweat. You watched from the doorway as Satoru closed all of the doors. Once more, your eyes ventured up towards the sky, another shiver running down your spine.

“You okay?” He questioned, making his way towards the door. You nodded, stepping back to allow him inside before closing the door.

Sukuna’s canines were made visible as his malicious grin widened, stretching inhumanly against his face. Raven spikes jutted out every which way, a part only tamed enough to fall before his striking crimson eyes as he looked over the railing of the staircase. He ran a clawed finger teasingly over the wood, always touching but never feeling.

The demon licked his lips slowly, his intense gaze catching you and the way you ran your hands along your arms in the foyer. His claws began to strum lightly against the wood as he continued to watch you with focus.

You walked further into the house, in awe at how spacious the interior was. To your right was a winding staircase, leading up to what looked to be a balcony. Unaware of the demonic presence, your eyes linger in the place he stood before moving on to your left.

The foyer spilled into a wide den, already furnished with a couch and a couple love chairs covered in plastic. The plastic crinkled under your touch as your fingertips ran along the surface of the couch, seeking out small holes and other old looking stains.

Everything had an antiquated touch to it and you wondered how long the house had been standing, abandoned by its previous owners.

Your eyes wandered to the fireplace on the far end of the living room. The entrance was gated with a rusting metal. You squatted down, fingers running along the rough bricks. Frowning at the dust that gathered on your skin, you straightened, rubbing your hands against your jeans.

From the balcony, the demon had the perfect view of you. So curious, eyes darting around only to pause and inspect something of little significance just for you to do it all again. He watched as you made a circle around the den, studying everything your greedy eyes took in as if the sight were new.

“Gojo?” You called, making your way back towards the boxes.

Was that what the other one was called? Frankly, he couldn’t bother to care as he’d already signed off on him. He’d make a decent meal though.

“Yeah!” Satoru responded from the kitchen. You peered in that direction for a few seconds waiting for him to emerge. Rolling your eyes, your attention returned to the box you were squatted in front of.

“Don’t go running off. You still have to help me,” You whined, hands rummaging through the cardboard. Empty handed, you flipped over the flaps to a nearby box, doing the same thing.

“This sink doesn’t work! It's like… stuck or something,”

“Just leave it before you break it more. I’ll call someone tomorrow.” You shouted, standing up. You sighed, stretching as your little fingers wiggled upwards. Sukuna watched unmoving as you stretched, eyeing a brief sight of your tummy.

Those were a lot of boxes. Not the occasional suitcase or makeshift plastic bags he usually saw with squatters.

So you were moving in. He chuckled darkly.

He actually couldn’t determine if you were stubborn or just plain stupid. You probably thought that nothing existed beyond your little mortal realm, that no outworldly dangers could harm you.

The small chuckle developed into a much throatier laugh, the noise disappearing into nothing. He was about to disappear before his attention snapped back towards you, his hands gripping the peeling wood of the banister almost painfully as he leant over the bar.

You had gasped, his ears picking up on the familiarity of sound, quickly identifying it as surprise. Fear? Sukuna watched in intrigue as your eyes darted around for the source, only briefly ghosting over the place he stood. He remained frozen, holding his breath as you looked right through him.

You could’ve sworn you heard laughter. The floorboards creaked beneath your feet as you walked around, trying to strain your ear for whatever you heard.

“Toru?” Maybe he was on the phone or something.

Unfortunately for you, that second was all it took for the demon to be immediately interested in you.

For decades, he remained rooted to this cursed plot after his grisly death with the inability to be seen, felt, and most definitely heard. He only controlled the physical realm which made for a lot of entertaining nights for whoever dared to trespass. Not to mention he was granted his demonic familiars. They had no intelligence but it kept him company, he supposed. Less lonely being evil if he’s surrounded by the very essence.

But something about that little gasp as if you heard something illogical... It made him lick his lips, something dark and enticing settling into the pit of his stomach. His mind was racing with new fun and exciting things he wanted to do with this information.

Satoru finally emerged from the kitchen, his shirt spotted in darkness, hair dripping in water. You took one look at his disgruntled form and bursted out laughing, immediately forgetting about the noise you heard.

“Its funny that your new sink is janked up?”

“Janked up?” His seriousness only made it funnier. He sucked his teeth and made his way towards the boxes, hastily searching for a towel.

“What were you...even doing...in there?” You said in between giggles. He only ignored you as you wiped away the wetness that gathered in your eyes.

“Are you done?” He deadpanned. You nodded with a smile. He only scoffed before he started to bring out contents from one of the boxes. You then took your place next to him, sorting through the items.

“Hey, what was funny earlier?” You cut through the silence.

“What do you mean?” He crinkled his forehead.

“You were laughing at something. Did Suguru send a dumb meme or something?” You giggled. Your face only fell at his response.

“I wasn’t laughing and I haven’t spoken to him since last Tuesday.”

Little words were exchanged as he helped you unpack. He was probably still upset. After a while, you grew bored and wanted to venture around. Even though you’d already seen the house on the tour, you were itching to do something. Standing up, you brushed off your hands, attention venturing to the staircase balcony.

“Hey, I’m gonna go check out the rooms upstairs,” A simple grunt was made as Satoru looked towards you.

“I’m not getting paid to do this!” He shouted as you began your trek. You smiled, calling back, “The unwavering devotion to the best friend in the entire world should be enough to start right?”

Upon going up, you felt a weird chill and found yourself turning towards the wall. You paused midway, eyeing the surface where you saw what was assumed to be a large painting or portrait.

You couldn’t really tell with the dingy cloth that covered it. Your fingers itched to tear away the cloth to reveal what was underneath but you didn’t. This was just one of the many things left behind by the last owners and you felt if you did, it'd somehow be disrespectful. You should call the realtor to inquire about possibly having some of the stuff taken out of the house.

“Hey, I’m going to step out for a bit, I need some air,” Satoru called from the doorway, suddenly feeling nauseous. You leaned over the wooden balcony, amazed at how high you were. After waving him off, he walked out, the door creaking shut behind him and you turned, facing the hallway.

The way you stood there was kind of enticing, especially with the way your eyes darted around with that same greedy look he noticed before. But something else was mixed with it, Sukuna noticed.

Unease.

He could sense it in the way you tensely rocked on the balls of your feet, looking between the few rooms that lined the dark hallway. Sukuna stood at the very end on the hall, leaning against the peeling door with arms crossed, watching for your next move. He really wanted you to walk his way so he could get a taste of that nerve-racked aura but much to his dissatisfaction, you chose the first room on the left.

It was fine, he could be patient. He only had the rest of his eternal death.

With a menacing grin, his form shivered, bending into the light until he was gone.

. . .

Even though you’d seen the rooms on the tour, viewing them again took your breath away once more in how spacious it was. Every part of the house exuded mystery and refinement. The bathrooms had surprised you the most; one being nearly as big as the bedroom, having room for a large claw-footed bathtub, a shower, plus two sinks. Giving one last look, you decided that it did pair nicely with the room attached. As expected, the large king-sized bed was still there, neatly made. Deciding to exit out the bedroom, you made your way toward the door.

“What the…” You tried the knob, jerking the brass but it was stuck. You tried once more, taking the handle between both hands and jiggling it as hard as you could.

You could see the wooden door moving against the frame but it wouldn’t open. This didn't happen on the tour. You stepped back, deciding to go through the other way but stopped in the middle of the bathroom, an eyebrow lifted in confusion.

Did you close the door behind you?

It was shut just like the other. No...you didn’t think you did. You moved towards the door turning the handle.

It was stuck too.

“Gojo?” You called, gripping the doorknob. Was he messing with you? You pulled and pushed with more force now, pacing to the other door to be met with the same result. Your stomach churned thickly as your skin began to prickle with heat.

“Gojo, open the door! This isn’t funny!” You called slapping your palm against the wood. You were beginning to grow frantic until finally, the door gave way.

Stumbling forward, you immediately gag at the sour odor that hit your nose. It smelled rotten and it caused you to cover your face with your arm.

But the odor was immediately forgotten when your eyes settled on the sight of the last room. You moved to the large rectangular window across the way, the sides framed by flowing curtains. It ran from the edge of the ceiling, stopping just above the hardwood floors.

The view outside was just as breathtaking as the first time, spreading over the fields of the rural side. You could see some houses peppering the golden hills of early autumn land.

“Wow,” You whispered, moving around the room. There was a queen-sized bed on one side, neatly made in a similar fashion as the one in the other room. Against the other wall was a desk.

You fell back onto the bed, breathing in deeply despite the rank smell. You loved it, everything from the antiquated vibes to even the apparently faulty doors.

You felt really at home, a feeling you haven’t had since your life in the city. You laid there, basking in the final fleeting heat rays of the setting sun until you suddenly tensed, eyes snapping open. Hairs stood up on your skin, making you shiver slightly.

That same chill.

Sitting up, your eyes scanned the empty bedroom. The shadows shifted in the corner, tricking your peripheral into moving your full attention in the area. Getting up, you moved over to the opposite side, running your fingertips along the smooth walls. It was just a simple corner, void of that special something. That something that you decided you were definitely going to set up as your photography corner. You smiled, trying to think of that instead of the foreboding unease that just wouldn’t leave you alone.

From behind you, Sukuna stood close, clawed hands reaching out to trace the outline of the nervous aura that you emitted despite your exterior calmness. When he brushed your neck, you jumped, whipping around, eyes wide.

Nothing.

But it was most definitely something, you rubbed the back of your neck, eyes darting around until you decided it was just a draft. Your walk toward the door was brisk though and if he'd known better, it almost seemed like you were in a hurry, as if you couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

The door creaked shut behind you.

. . .

“Have fun exploring?” Satoru asked as you bounded down the stairs, not even looking up from his phone. He decided not to tell you about the sudden sickness that overpowered him earlier instead deciding your bliss was something he didn’t want to ruin.

You nodded, expressing your excitement for the way you were going to set up your hobby station. You looked on the coffee table to see a box labeled Photography, in his sloppy scribble. Satoru looked up, catching your gaze.

“Before I go, I wanna get a picture of us,” When you raised a brow, he smiled before continuing.

“In your new pad. It’d be the first picture you take since the city and y’know, since I did most of the grunt work its the least I’m owed. Besides, by the time you get settled in, there’ll be photos scattered everywhere by next week,” You both laughed.

“Sure thing Toru,”

Another hour had passed after some coaxing to help you actually settle in. Satoru helped you place them where they belonged. Bags of cutlery, pots, pans and other kitchen ware were all sat upon the glass table in the dining room. You forgot how beautiful this area was, spacious and home-y for meal nights, which you were looking forward to. It was separated by an island, the other side made as a kitchen.

Your photography stuff and your clothing were taken upstairs to the room where it was placed on the desk.

“Isn’t this room amazing?” You beamed, arms spread wide as you stood in the center. Satoru stood in the doorway, looking everything but impressed. Something about the space bothered him, yet he couldn’t determine why. For you though, he smiled genuinely.

“Yeah, I think it it was made just for you,”

By the time you were done, exhaustion was heavy on you both. By now, the promised photo was long forgotten and you were on your porch, clinging onto your best friend in a tight embrace.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” He smiled, shaking his head as he once more expressed how early he had to be up for work. It was lucky he was in only the next town over, but it didn’t ease the lonely pit in your stomach as you watched him get into his car.

As Satoru drove away, his eyes glanced in the rearview mirror, watching as you waved him off. His attention wasn’t on you though, but on the looming presence of the house seeming to swallow your body.

DILFOS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE OR REUPLOAD MY CONTENT CURRENT OR ARCHIVAL.

[fountainpenguin]

hello! I've been reading your fop fanfics for around a week now, and I wanna say that your worldbuilding has some of the most impressive ones I've ever seen for a preexisting IP. you made excel sheets, charts, indepth character bios including species and timelines and etc etc ITS SO GOOD Ive been going crazy over them. also as someone who's been enjoying the pixies recently and planning stuff with them with my own oc story, your worldbuilding with them is so awesome. so good. I really really like it MOSTLY BECAUSE IM PIXIE-HEADED RIGHT NOW BUT YOUR FICS OF THEM AND EXPLANATIONS AND SPECIES BIO KEEPS ROTATING IN MY MIND I LOVE IT. I LOVE THE PIXIES!!!!! I LOVE THOSE SILLY BLOCK CREATURES to the point I've been rereading your class overview of them three times. I love you pixies. also I may have taken inspirations from your species bio or have it in my mind subconsciously while writing my own pixie oc (and more yet to come) like their defining character traits, how they do relationships, etc etc. nothing too big ofc but it's really great that it imprinted on my brain

I'm still a newcomer here and yet to know more in-depth about your universe, but with the amount of posts you have made, I believe I'll be sticking around for more :) thank you!

Thank you!!! I'm glad you like my 'fics and posts. Many, many, many hours of work have gone into my worldbuilding over the last 9 years and I appreciate your appreciation!

I'm glad the Pixies are getting more acknowledgement these days! They're my favorites... I'm happy to see them get a boost in love even though they didn't make it into New Wish Season 1 <3

Here's a Sigfried for you- I like his tie clip :)

I like his fancy crown hat too.

Thanks again for your kind words!

Links for anyone interested in checking out my FOP work & trying to find their preferred way to explore:

#FAIRIES! - My blog tag for FOP content

📕 Easy AO3 Series Navigation - Customize your reading by subscribing to the arcs / characters you like

✨ Worldbuilding Sideblog Masterpost - Lore galore!

🟪 Class Overview: Pixies - Mentioned in this ask

☁️ Cloudlands AU Guide

🌃 City Lights AU Guide

🗄️ Reedfilter Rules AU Guide

🌈 'Fic summaries page

🚂 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash summaries page

[kholnt]

Welcome to the fandom! I'm very curious to see what type of lu fan you are, as it's always great to see the diversity of people that enjoy any given thing.

I saw you're a fan of Wild, and you've read some fics and such, are there any that you'd recommend to someone that wants to get to know a bit more of his character? I'm biased to Legend, as he's easier for me to draw, but I've been wanting to dive deeper into the personalities of the others in the chain, particularly Wild, as he's set up for a lot of character growth in the og comic.

And as an offering, here's a sleepy Wild and a happy doggo! (My pen died while I was drawing, and it's not clear, but he's holding a pillow)

WAHHH SILLY GUY!!! I LOVE!! HEEMS SO!! as for me, (in general when it comes to fandoms) i tend to post art and that's usually what i do publicly. or respond to stuff that i'm sent by friends. in REALITY however i am very much a brainstormer. the amt of ideas rattling in my head at any given time is CRAZY. i dont tend to post my in depth ideas because like. its too hard to explain man. me n @/eponatheestallion have made an entire au with arcs n character development in the past two days bc i asked a silly question idk if thats the kind of answer you wanted but yk !! as for fics!! gods ive read like. ~300 fics in the past *checks watch* 17 days (holy shit i have a problem what the fuck) so lets see what i can recommend specifically bc you bet i dont remember allat!! spider meet fly/fly meet spider - totk swap au from wilds perspective!! (not lu but still really good :)) ) the worldbuilding is,,, mwah things that go unnoticed about hyrule - this entire series of oneshots eats but this one is probably my favorite. hyrule & wild bonding but in the You Get It way

it's me wild! find me in the future! - wild stays for totk and the chain goes through the stages of grief live. i just??? enjoy the characterization for this???? everything that didn’t kill me - basically a 50 things that wild told the chain how he got his scars. this one is here for the whimsy. while reading i literally went "I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND" bc of some of the things listed also happened to me while playing botw. this one isnt serious in the slightest only the wild ones - the chain meet wild at various stages in his life. big brother twilight baybeeee mixing our history into our batter - aurora and wild bake together. this one just made me happy dude idk its just full of whimsy and silliness from castle town to ordon - wild is socially anxious, rich, and a menace, more at eleven i'm a riddle in nine syllables - the chain are ghosts that help wild on his adventure. i read this one real recently and i!!!! yk?

im sure theres more but like. this is me quickly(ish) scrolling through my history and pointing out the ones i distinctly remember enjoying and arent the other two fics i already reccomended

[starryskiescottagepies]

★ Marauders (mostly wolfstar) fics I have enjoyed recently ★

I think most people are already familiar with these, but I figured I’d compile a list for at least my own sake, if not for the fuck of it. No particular order, just whichever one popped into my mind first. Also I almost exclusively read regular magical fics, not muggle aus, though sometimes I will branch out.

1.) The Horcrux Hunt - lostmy_keys

He is a Slytherin, a Black, and an ex-Death Eater. Of course he makes it out of the cave.

Regulus sets out to destroy the Dark Lord's Horcrux with no one but a house-elf to help, until he realises his task is bigger than he alone can handle. Reluctantly he turns to the only man Voldemort fears for assistance - Dumbledore - who loans out his pet wolf for the job, much to Regulus's dismay. Together they embark on a hunt for Horcruxes - a long and arduous journey that both makes friendships and destroys them. And a few people get hurt along the way.

Slowburn Wolfstar, Regulus character development, a very flirty (but platonic) Regulus and Remus friendship, and a canonically manipulative Dumbledore.

This is by far one of my recent favourites. It’s too good. I’m not super into jegulus, but if that’s your thing, the sequel has them as a kind of background development :]

2.) Let Nothing You Dismay - montparnasse

There are a few things Sirius really didn't count on for Christmas of 1979. The extreme sexual confusion is one of them; Remus Lupin is approximately seventy-eight of the rest.

I bookmarked this with a note saying “this writing style is gorjus. Gongepus” at 1:30 in the morning, and that’s all I have to say about that.

3.) disintegration - moonymoment

Okay I won’t even bother putting the summary here, almost everyone has read it, it’s fantastic. Knife cutting vampire themed sexual tension, kak long too. Sound good? Lekker. Thought so.

4.) Stealing Harry (and its subsequent cinematic universe) - copperbadge

On a dark night long ago, Sirius Black took a wrong turn and never found Peter Pettigrew. Instead of Azkaban, Sirius settled down in Little Whinging to keep an eye on his godson, and hired Remus Lupin to run his bookshop for him. Then one day when Harry was eight, Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, and stole him away.

I’m going to make a whole separate post about this one because it’s a work of art. It’s so sweet. Ahh. It’s an iconic old series too, started before I even existed. It’s been one of my favourite things as of late. I wish it had been completed, but I also love it as it is, and I don’t feel I need any more than that. The first story is beautiful, but frankly it’s the alternative universe which comes after that I keep rereading. So so so so so good.

5.) Remain in Light - veeagainst

What if Sirius Black didn’t die? It’s been done many times. Here’s my take on it.

One of the best “wolfstar kind of adopts Harry” sorts of stories in my opinion, and done so in such a graceful way too. Blood sweat tears and six whole years (!!!!) of writing went into this thing and you can really see how no word was wasted. What a beautiful story

6.) The Bent - earlybloomingparenthesis

1985, London. The wizarding queer art scene revolves around a gallery called the Bent, where conceptual artist Remus Lupin and photographer Sirius Black exhibit their works, and a club called the Bush, where they spend time with Jane and Lily Potter, who work at a nearby heath clinic. Although war with Voldemort was averted, the wizarding world is still simmering with tension. In the face of increasing intolerance and calls for censorship, Remus’ art takes a riskier, more political turn, and he must figure out how to balance self-expression and safety. Also, he might be falling in love with his best friend.

It’s been a while since something ive read has caused my to need to go on a walk and just think. This story will make you do that. Queer truths and families and mess and art. That’s it that’s the book. It’s one of the nine fics I’ve thrown into my “lifechanging fanfics” collection and it’s there for a REASON! You will not regret reading it.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie <3

thank you @sunshinebingo for tagging me ily pookie 🥹

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing

sleeping. like thats the first step. i sleep a lot and i love it. before i fall asleep, i obvs am in my delulu lala land thinking about either my future husband or my fics and og books. from there i think about the weirdest unrealistic plots and then i keep thinking about them so i can remember them in the morning.

and then i write after im done helping with house chores and my work. i usually post the thing as soon as its done or shcedule it lol

(or in case of my og books, i keep em there hehe)

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

pantser 😭 but recently ive been trying to become a plotter. wish me luck 🥲

What do you listen to when you are writing?

anything i can think of lol. sometimes its kpop, sometimes japanese or arabic songs. sometimes sabrina and taylor, sometimes skz and new jeans.

i usually add random songs i can think of in my playlist i listen to while doing chores, and then i continue listening to thos songs while writing.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

nothing tbh. water ig? i need to go get my new stock of capri sun tho ive been dying to have my stock refilled 😞

(gonna find some way to whisper in my dads ear that i want caprisun and it will be at home lmao)

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

cursed is something i love a lot because that plot is like. auasadh so good. also my i didnt ask for this series. its so close to my heart my god its my child. my baby 🥹

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

to love and cakes it took me months to write kinda but like. its a lucien fic and its 10k long lmaoo what did i expect. but its also my baby i love it heheh

Do you have any advice for new writers?

WRITE. THAT. DUMB. IDEA. YOU. THINK. NO. ONE. WILL. READ.

👏🏻WRITE👏🏻IT👏🏻

almost all of my most loved fics have been ideas i thought no one would care about enough to read. and then the morning after i posted them, id wake up to people telling me how much they loved the fic and end up with me sobbing because everyones so lovely 🥹

also. people can sometimes be mean. 👏🏻IGNORE👏🏻THEM.👏🏻 ignore them the way you ignore maths when studying.

ive seen so many new talented writers either stop writing or lash back out at these clowns, but you need to understand that replying to these people who are just trying to get a rcton out of you is not worth it. your happiness matters more. put yourself before them and ignore thei comments if it hurts you. that will prick their egos more than you arguing with them.

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

i kinda wanna learn how to describe rooms. that bitch truly be bitin my ass 😞uh also how t write poetically kinda

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

honestly, maybe lucien. i only ever thought about writing for batboys when i had begun but then i fell in love with him and i couldnt stop writing about him 🥹

tagging: @bubybubsters @separatist-apologist @assassinsblade @animezinglife @acourtofladydeath

@daycourtofficial @lucienarcheron @sapphicmsmarvel @berryzxx

@riddlesb1tch @throneofsmut @throneofsapphics @tadpolesonalgae @writingsbychlo

@fieldofdaisiies @moonlightazriel @harrystylesfan2686 @mika-no-sekai-blog

@itsphoenix0724 @lyssasdrafts @flickering-chandelier @lees-chaotic-brain

@hellcat8908 @ceoofyearning @potatoplace

[stellar-constellations]

ive got 0 idea if you takes reqs, but i recently finished your yuri briar x reader AND IM IN LOVE

so.

we got a slightly sick yuri, but what about an extremely ill y/n that yuri has to take care of ? with his stubborness theres sure to be some aruging

of course, if youre not feelig up to oneshots, some cute headcannons for them whould be awesome !!

youre such a great writer mwah i hope you have a good day !! :3

        Sick! Fem! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! (Y/N) series: An Alliance (part 1).

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! (Y/N) series: An Alliance!

        Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and (Y/N) are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

        I rarely get sick. I think part of that is because of all the viruses and infectious pathogens I've been exposed to growing up. Growing up in the poor side of Luwen, Westalis. Joining the Westalis military and watching as doctors with not enough medical experience or knowledge bullshit their way through life-threatening procedures or even unknown viruses from Ostania get tons of syringes jabbed in their shoulders. Traveling through countries and hiding in sometimes very unhygienic places as a spy. All of those factors has probably helped with my strong immune systems.

        There's been times where I've been sick that it's completely left me bedridden for days, sometimes even a week or two, at a time. Every once in a blue moon, I'd get a common cold or sore throat, but if I can walk, then I can work.

        I figured today must've been one of small common cold days when I woke up with a foul taste in my mouth. You know when you're sick and you have that awful taste when you cough? It's taste like that sour, off-putting taste.

        I ignored the system and buried my head back into my pillow, hearing the annoying alarm shut off thanks to Yuri.

        "(Y/N), it's time to get up." Yuri spoke.

        We've both grown used to this routine now. Yuri spends a good ten minutes trying to drag me out of bed while I lay motionless, purposely ignoring him as I try to go back to bed.

        Today, however, I feel even more tired than usual. It feels awfully hot under these covers and my body feels really sore, almost numb.

        "Come on. Don't start this today! You know we have an important meeting with the Director!" Yuri groaned, getting back on the bed to crawl over to my side and grabbing my arm.

        Right, the meeting with the Director. I'm supposed to go over there and discuss any new information on WISE in correlation to the chase with Winston Wheeler (and Twilight).

        Me and Yuri finally healed up enough to where we can be sent back to work. I was getting real sick of that liquid diet, I never want to have soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever again (Yuri can agree with me on this). My broken nose is also healed too so now I can stop wearing that stupid bandage.

        Apparently, there's been a security breach in the SSS's latest website and I'm supposed to narrow down a list of potential suspects that could've caused the breach. I contacted The Handler last night and had her conduct a list of unfortunate Ostanian civilians to place blame on. I don't like having to bring innocent people into such matters, but I don't really have a choice. If the SSS finds out I'm still working with WISE, I'm royally screwed. The work the agents in WISE are given is far too important to sacrifice, so unfortunately I'm going to have to trade in unsuspecting civilians in order to keep the peace between Ostania and Westalis.

        I already know the true perpetuator of who caused that security breach; it was me. I needed information on Winston Wheeler so I hacked into the SSS's security files and emails and got information, then I snuck into city hall and got some public files of Ostanian citizens with the information I learned and was able to identify WISE's mole with just a tad bit of luck. The whole operation almost costed me my head with how I almost got exposed as a WISE agent to Yuri in the sewers along with almost dying to Winston (I'll never say this to her face, but thank God that Nightfall came when she did).

        "Fine, fine..." I groaned, moving my hair out of my eyes and slowly sitting up from my bed.

        I stood up from the bed and felt lightheaded, whiteish-black dots appearing in my vision as my body temperature raised and a nauseous feeling came over me, my ears ringing as I felt the dull thud of myself collapsing onto the carpet.

        I saw nothing for a long time, but a short time as well. I was able to regain my vision and found myself on the floor with Yuri hovering over me.

        Damn, I fainted.

        I've fainted a lot in my lifetime to the point it's probably unhealthy now. Exhaustion, extreme sickness when I'm bedridden, and sometimes even just from changing position too fast or standing in the same position for too long. By now I'm very aware of the symptoms, I just usually believe I can fight through it and continue on (the amount of times I coaxed myself into believing this then fainting afterwards is absolutely foolish of me by now).

        "(Y/N)? Are you okay?" Yuri questioned, a concerned expression on his face.

        "I tripped over my feet." I lied.

        "You sure stayed on the ground for a while. You weren't responding to me." Yuri responded, a bit suspicious.

        "I was hoping you'd leave me alone so I could go back to bed." I lied, again.

        "Seriously? Come on, we've got work to do." Yuri sighed, grabbing my nightgown's sleeve.

        Luckily my sleeve was covering my arm so he wouldn't come into direct-contact with my skin and feel how hot it is.

        "Do we want to cook breakfast or go grab some?" Yuri questioned, lifting me up from the ground with ease, placing me on my feet as I mumbled a "thanks".

        "Let's go out. I don't feel like cooking. I'm still sleepy." I responded, watching as Yuri walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of mundane office clothes.

        "I was thinking the same thing. It'd be quicker too." Yuri commented.

        I inhaled deeply, feeling as though I couldn't breathe through my nose. I still felt light-headed and I feel like I'll topple right over if I take a step forward.

        "Can you choose my clothes today? I don't wanna." I breathed out, crawling back into bed and staying above the covers since it felt too hot to get under them.

        "Don't plan on falling back to sleep. I will drag you into the car with you still in your nightgown if I have to." Yuri grumbled, shooting me a glare but walking to my closet nonetheless.

        He looked through the hanging clothes before grabbing a green sweatshirt and finding a pair of blue jeans on a shelf. He threw the clothes at me as I worked up the energy to get today started.

        "You better be dressed by the time I'm done changing." Yuri emptily-threatened, grabbing his own clothes and walking into the bathroom.

        I huffed, wanting to do anything but get out of bed, yet I decided to listen to him. He's right, today is an important day. It'll help me prove my innocence to the SSS (and I have to make sure I keep Donnie's little trap shut in case he decides to put his two-bits in and expose that I was gone during the whole mole hunt.

        I stood up from the bed, ignoring my wobbly head and aching head as I changed into the clothes Yuri picked out for me. It's funny that even though we're both basically married now (just without throwing a real wedding), we still change in separate rooms. I'm completely fine with that though, it's nice to take things slow.

        I grabbed sock and brown boots and slipped them on, then immediately fell back onto the bed to get at least an extra minute or two of rest.

        Yuri came out and looked at me, crossing his arms as he stared at me with his laser eyes.

        "Are you sure you're okay? Your throat sounds sore. Do you want a cough drop?" Yuri questioned.

        "I'm just really tired." I spoke, adverting eye contact.

        "Should we get coffee too?" Yuri asked, tying his boots on.

        "Yeah, that's a good idea." I nodded, raising my hand up in the air for Yuri to grab.

        He grabbed my hand without question and lifted me off our bed, allowing me to plant my feet back on the ground. I reached for my glasses on the dresser (if you wear any) and grabbed my wallet, shoving it into my pocket.

        "You're really hot." Yuri commented.

        "Thanks." I smiled, still having some energy to mess with Yuri.

        "I meant your skin is hot. Are you really sure you're feeling okay?" Yuri questioned, his concerned expression appearing.

        "I'm fine! I'd tell you if I feel off, so don't worry about it, love." I spoke, giving him a smile in hopes to reassure him.

        His shoulders released some tension, but they still weren't fully relaxed, so he doesn't believe me just yet.

        "I just have a small cold, nothing I can't handle. Now let's go, we still have work to do." I spoke, grabbing his hand and leading him to the door through blurry vision.

        I bumped into the door and huffed, feeling around for the handle.

        "(Y/N), that's a wall. The door is behind us." Yuri pointed out.

        On normal days, he'd chuckle about how much of a dumbass I am, but today he seems really in-tune with my physical state.

        "My vision is still blurry 'cause I'm tired." I spoke, coming up with that stupid excuse on spot.

        "Here, let me help you." Yuri spoke, guiding me over to the bedroom door as he opened it, pushing me through before walking out and closing it behind him.

        "I got the rest." I reassured, taking a few steps forward to go to the front door.

        I stopped once I felt my stomach start to turn and my vision start to blur once more. My ears started ringing and it felt like I was swaying from side to side.

        I took silent deep breaths to calm myself down and hopefully settle my immune system, all while Yuri stood behind me, closely observing me.

        "Are you sick?" he finally questioned.

        "No." I huffed stubbornly, gathering my energy to take another step.

        It was a terrible idea as I immediately fell forward, my body going limp as I couldn't control my feet or hands or anything any longer. Even though I was unconscious, I felt pressure under my head and on my wrist. I saw darkness again and waited for it to pass, before finally regaining my vision once more.

        Yuri had his hand under my head, checking my pulse before making eye contact with me as the waves of blurriness started to fade from my sight. He gave me a look I'd never think I'd get shot my way for fainting, he gave me a scowl.

        "I'm not sick." He taunted in a high-pitched voice.

        "Oi! I don't sound like that!" I huffed.

        "You told me you weren't sick. You said you'd tell me if you were feeling off, you little lying brat." Yuri huffed, moving his hand from under my head and allowing it to hit the ground with a thud!

        "Ow..." I groaned, reaching up and grabbing my head as my head ached, probably a headache forming. "Jerk! I didn't treat you like this when you got sick!"

        "I didn't lie when I got sick!" Yuri retorted.

        "Y-yeah... but..." I paused, thinking of something to say. "Just shut up and help me!" I huffed.

        "You're lucky I'm a nice guy." Yuri muttered, grabbing my hand and picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

        He opened our bedroom door and placed me back down on our bed, making sure to keep the covers off me. He walked up to his separate nightstand and picked up the phone, sliding the rotary wheel to his desired digits until he raised the phone up to his ear.

        "Hello, Director? This is Yuri Briar speaking. Me and (Y/N) Briar are going to take the day off, she's terribly sick and I don't trust her to be by herself. We can reschedule the meeting another day?" Yuri spoke

        "Oi! I hear you!" I huffed, throwing a pillow at him (albeit weakly).

        "Yes, that was her. She sounds terrible, huh?" Yuri spoke, now just taunting me.

        "You're a horrible man..." I grumbled.

        "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." Yuri spoke before hanging up the phone. "Looks like you're going to get your shut-eye after all."

        "Thanks, Yuri!" I smiled.

        "Do you think you can stomach anything? Do you want some soup?" he questioned.        

        "Yeah, I guess." I sighed.

        "I'll go make you some. Now, you change into some more lighter clothes so you won't be as hot, then you can go back to sleep." Yuri ordered.

        It really wasn't something I'd fight him on as I nodded, taking the pajamas I was wearing earlier from Yuri's hands. Yuri left the room as I changed, then got back into bed. I closed my eyes (taking off my glasses if needed) and listening to Yuri's command on some shut-eye.

        Yuri woke me up sometime later, gently shaking me awake.

        "Hey, wake up." Yuri spoke, coaxing me to waking up.

        I opened my eyes to see Yuri's face. He picked me up from the bed and took me out and into the dining room, sitting me down on my dining table seat. A bowl of simple broth sat in front of me, something simple that I wouldn't throw up.

        "You can eat on your own, right?" Yuri questioned.

        "Nope." I smiled.

        "Of course..." Yuri grumbled.

        He grabbed his chair and pulled it up close to me, our knees touching as he lifted my chin up and grabbed the spoon.

        "You should keep your distance if you don't want to get sick." I spoke.

        "Don't worry about it. The only time I get sick is when Yor is out of town." Yuri spoke.

        Right, I remember having to take care of him when Yor left a few days for her job at city hall. He's surprisingly easy to take care of since he doesn't talk as much when he's sick due to his aching throat. I thought.

        "Open up." Yuri commanded.

        I didn't put up a fight as I opened my mouth, taking a sip from the spoon.

        "It's pretty good, Yuri." I complimented, opening my mouth for another spoonful.

        "I got the recipe from a cookbook." Yuri admitted, scooping up some more and putting it in my mouth.

        I finished the bowl and thanked him as he picked me up and carried me back to our room, placing me down on the bed.

        "I'll be back. You just hang on a second." Yuri spoke, walking out of the room.

        He came back with a towel and some medication in hand.

        "Do you like medicine?" Yuri questioned.

        "No, who does?" I questioned, looking at him funny.

        "I mean, will you put up a fight?" he questioned.

        "...I mean, I guess not since it's for my health?" I muttered.

        "Good." Yuri smiled, twisting open the cap and pouring the dark red liquid into a small medicine cup.

        He raised the spoon to my mouth as I sighed and opened my mouth, drinking the liquid. It tasted disgusting and I hated every drop of it, but I understood it was for my health.

        "Thank you for taking care of me, Yuri. You didn't have to take the day off too to take care of me, but you did anyways. I appreciate it greatly." I smiled.

        "It's the decent thing to do." Yuri muttered, not taking the gratitude.

        "Don't underestimate your kindness, Yuri. I was just messing with you when I said you're horrible." I admitted.

        "I know that much, dummy." Yuri huffed, flicking my forehead with his finger.

        He pushed my chest for me to lean back on my pillow, then grabbed the cold wet towel and placed it on top of my forehead.

        "Now get some more rest, I'll come check up on you in a bit." Yuri spoke.

        "Thanks again, Yuri. I love you." I smiled, watching as his face started to match his eyes as he covered his mouth with his arm to hide his smile.

        "Whatever... I love you too." He muttered softly, but I could still hear him.

        The whole day Yuri tended to my needs as I got my well-deserved rest. It's nice to finally be able to sleep all day again, the last time I did that was years ago.

        I can't remember the last time I was cared for when being sick. Before the war when I was a kid, I remember being bedridden for three days and being unable to do nothing. My dad was out working and my mom was sleeping because she worked night shifts as a nurse (she was able to find a hospital that allowed married women to work there), so she slept during the day and went to work at night.

        My younger siblings couldn't take care of me because they were too young to have any medical knowledge. My older sister was out collecting rocks and my older brother was out with his friends. Even if they weren't busy, they still wouldn't be able to help me since they've never gotten sick (or at least didn't remember it).

        Even after joining the military and ending up getting the Spanish Flu I wasn't care for. It was actually a miracle I survived it because of my age and size. I must've found a lucky penny or something around that time because I luckily didn't have any severe symptoms, but after seeing all the people dying around me from the illness, I took absolutely no chances to being transported in the crowded nursing tent. I stole a small tent and ran far out into the woods along with a bottle of medicine, eight water bottles, four cans of tomato soup, and a blanket, spending five nights out there before I finally felt better.

        Because I didn't allow myself around any others to worsen my sickness, my Memory T-cells were able to identify and grow an immunity to the disease and I was able to overcome it.

        Even when I became a spy, the first few missions I got sick pretty often because of all the traveling and sight-changes I had to endure, but I soon grew accustomed to the constant change in scenery all around Westalis and Ostania that my immune system was eventually able to get used to it.

        But even then, it's nice to be cared for and pampered. The last time I got fed by someone was when I was two. The last time someone tucked me in for bed was when I was three. I never did have someone make me soup for when I'm sick, or give me a wet towel to place on my head, or even just give me a bottle of medicine.

        Even those the gestures might be small and "what a decent human being does" as Yuri said—it means the world to me. To be swaddled in the warmth of protection and love, something I was once sure I'd never be able to experience again until I met Yuri Briar.

        The ring on my finger isn't just a ring; it's an everlasting vow between two lives now connected through life and death, sickness and health, wealth and poverty. It's a pledge of undying adoration, sincerity, unwavering loyalty, and shelter; all of this for Mr. and Mrs. Briar to share with one another.

        BONUS: Headcannons about Yuri and (Y/N):

        Yuri and (Y/N) have their own seats at the dining table they silently assigned to themselves. Yuri's seat is the closest to the front door, he chose this seat in case (Y/N) ever does try to run away to go back to WISE (in actuality, it's so he can protect her if an intruder ever breaks in from there).

        Believe it or not, Yuri and (Y/N) aren't much of physical lovers. The love languages in their relationship is quality time, acts of service, and (shockingly) words of affirmation.

        (Y/N) can't detect sarcasm despite being sarcastic herself at times.

        (Y/N) used sleeping as a coping mechanism growing up. She used it to escape from reality; the hardships of money and war, deception and betrayal. She slept so much she learned how to lucid dream on her own. Now she sleeps because she's tired often due to work.

        (Y/N)'s always tired no matter how much sleep she gets; 30 minutes to a day. She once slept for 22 hours once and woke up feeling miserable. She slept for twenty minutes while waiting for a target during a mission and still felt like total shit; so no amount of sleep can truly make her feel 100% awake.

        (Y/N) has problems with memorizing people and their names so she focuses on a certain attribute that helps her recognize a person (ex. someone's hair color, the shape of their eyes, their jacket).

        (Y/N)'s memory isn't good either, she'll be in the act of cooking then forget she's cooking and walk away. Yuri now supervises (Y/N) to make sure she doesn't wander off and let the smoke alarm go off again.

        If (Y/N) had the option to go to the past, future, or stay in the present, she would choose staying in the present in a heartbeat. She believes if she goes to the past she might mess something up that would make it so Yuri and (Y/N) never met, and she doesn't want to go to the future in case she discovers something then accidentally messes up the future by going to the present and changes actions that would've led her to something happy in the future to something disastrous instead.

        Yuri's side mission in life is to try to discreetly find out (Y/N)'s favorite flower without being caught. He wants to surprise her but refuses to ask her for the answer. So far it's been a month of trying.

        (Y/N) has absolutely no idea when she's being flirted with by someone other than Yuri because she doesn't believe it's possible that someone could actually have interest in her (she still secretly questions if Yuri's proposal was true or if it was a gig to gain trust for their contract).

        Yuri has memorized every speckle of color in (Y/N)'s eyes because of how often he stares into them. He is a firm believer of giving someone his attention when they're talking with him.

        Yuri does, indeed, like to mess with (Y/N) because he thinks it's cute when she gets frustrated.

        When (Y/N) gave Yuri's mother brownies as an offering he cried in his car the entire time that (Y/N) talked to Yuri's mother. That day was the day Yuri started to lower his guard without even realizing it.

        Even though Yuri and (Y/N) bicker a lot, they're very aware of their true feelings since they always look at each other's eyes when talking (the eye is the window to the soul after all).

        It's a known fact that Yuri and (Y/N) always work with each other at the SSS. They help each other with listening to bugged rooms, Yuri listens and (Y/N) writes. Whenever they do interrogations, they're always in the room with each other in case one of the interrogators decide to get hostile. During raids, (Y/N) prefers to be lookout while Yuri heads into action. Even though (Y/N) doesn't like Yuri fighting with the possibility of getting injured or possibly even killed, (Y/N) doesn't like fighting up close due to the hostility she experienced in the military (the same applies with guns due to this).

        Yuri learned about (Y/N)'s dislikes towards guns and does his best to get them both out of raids or missions that involve them. He doesn't want to have her forced into a situation that makes her uncomfortable or feel threatened.

        Yuri and (Y/N) have come to the comprise that Yuri cleans and (Y/N) cooks after Yuri complained a lot about (Y/N) doing all the housework. Yuri doesn't like the thought of using (Y/N) like that, even if they live in the 1950's.

        As previously mentioned in this fic, (Y/N) got the Spanish Flu. She got the Spanish Flu by walking into the nursing tent to bring a sick comrade in. While she was in there, she saw someone have a terrible reaction to the vaccine they were given, foaming through their mouth and blood pouring out of their eyes and nose, that started her intense fear of needles (want to know how Yuri helps? Check out this fanfic along with the head cannons in it!)

        Yuri and (Y/N) like watching sci-fi movies and debating whether the events could one day be true or not. These debates get very heated, logical, and serious; some are still ongoing to this day.

        Yuri's ([Y/N]'s really) teddy bear (teddy bear is introduced in the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series, part 9) is named Graham Cracker because of the fur's color (Yes, [Y/N] named it).

        (Y/N) once had a dream of being an astronaut because she loved the stars so much. Now, she's not exactly sure what she wants to be career-wise, but she wants to be truly happy and have an ordinary life (which means ditching the SSS and WISE).

        Yuri once took (Y/N) out on a roadtrip to go to a space museum out of Ostania. In the middle of the night he stopped the car on a hill and prompted (Y/N) out of the car and pointed up at the stars. Yuri's mind has the image of her stargazing engraved in his mind. (Y/N) had never seen as much stars as she did then and she started crying hysterically because it was the most considerate and romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Yuri now takes (Y/N) out to see the stars at the same hill at least once a month.

        Sometimes Yuri goes on complete rambles about Yor, specific adventures he had during missions, some biology facts he remembers from school, or even just Ostanian politics and (Y/N) would look at him with the world's brightest eyes and soft smile. Once he notices, his voice becomes softer and he stumbles over his wording a lot. (Y/N) will bring him back to with a soft "go on, love" despite hearing this subject hundreds of times before, and it'll officially explode Yuri's mind and heart.

        (Y/N) got Yuri into Frank Sinatra and Doris Day songs. Yuri's mood could be terrible but if he hears any one of their songs he'll immediately start cheering up because of the memories their songs bring. His favorite is "Fly Me to the Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "It's Magic" from Doris Day. (Y/N)'s favorites are "Blue Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "Dream a Little Dream of Me" from Doris Day.

        (Y/N) absolutely loves Christmas music. She loves decorating the apartment with festive lights and baking holiday foods. Yuri used to be indifferent about the holidays but now he can't wait for the next Christmas because of the first Christmas they spent with each other and the Forger family.

        (Y/N) was given the code name "Vixen" because of how she lured and deceived others. She stuck to using her looks as a form of deception since she had a hard time switching personalities due to her morals and how opinionated she is.

        (Y/N) hates receives gifts because it feels like she's indirectly using someone for money, being too needy, and now has a debt she needs to pay.

        (Y/N) and Yor meet up every weekend after work to talk about work, their family, and get to know each other better since they're in-laws. (Y/N) still finds Yor scary, but now she's determined to protect Yuri because of how kind-hearted and nurturing she is. (Y/N) makes sure to walk Yor home so Yor doesn't get into any danger (unbeknownst to [Y/N], Yor is the true danger).

        (Y/N) meets up with Camila and Yor once a month to teach Yor a new recipe. It's a really good bonding experience and it gives (Y/N) a healthy amount of social interaction without having to try and lie to anyone for ulterior motives. (Y/N) loves being able to call therm her friends since growing up she didn’t have any (that are still alive, that is. Twilight and Franky are like brothers).

Thank you so much for requesting! I love writing for Yuri, especially because of how dry the Yuri train is on Tumblr.

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! reader series: An Alliance! Or perhaps something short and sweet? Check out another adored request WITH more head cannons!

        Have any other requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

I was tagged by @mybrainismelted @energievie and @lingy910y, hi guys!

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

Location: Brooklyn, NY

And now...

Latest music discovery: I've been listening to a lot of 70's african rock lately and really loving it with the good weather

Latest movie: Nothing new, but I'm most excited to see Monkey Man, bc ive thought Dev Patel was awesome since he played prince zuko, the only redeeming part of an otherwise irredeemable movie

Last TV show you finished: Atlanta, it was so fucking good

Most recently started book: Braiding sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Most recent trip out of town: omg, i guess it was christmas when i went home. definently thinking about hiking trips upstate and beach days on the coast since the weathers getting nice

Most recent trip out of the country: Korea, precovid yikes. im planning my first trip to europe this year, im going to ireland! but haven't been fucked to plan it yet

Most recent gift you made yourself: i got myself a bunch of candles recently, Im trying to get enough to light my apartment by candles alone

Most recent gift you made to someone else: i had a bunch of overripe bananas so i dropped off banana bread for my gf and her roommates

Most recent text message you received: my group chat trying to figure out what to do this weekend, which has me thinking about what clubs i frequent that Mickey would like, i think theres one he would tolerate and two he might actually like

Most recent text message you sent: texting my nail tech for an appointment lol

Last fic you read: The Southside forever series highly recommend

Last drink you had: coffee

Last thing you ate: yogurt and eggs on toast this morning and ill be sitting down for dinner soon

Latest piece of clothing you bought: I got a couple blouses and sundresses recently, but ive been trying not to do any shopping until i clean out my closet

Latest piece of advice you received: my doctor telling me how to boost my immune system since ive gotten sick like 4 times this year

Latest piece of advice you gave: I gave someone directions on the street today, so that probably counts

Latest thing you promised yourself: that im not getting fucking sick again!!! Im going to be super discipline and stay healthy

tagging: @gallawitchxx @stocious @iansw0rld @jrooc @em-harlsnow@spookygingerr @mickeym4ndy @mickeysgaymom @deathclassic @metalheadmickey @atthedugouts @transmurderbug

[tryhardgwen]

hi gwen!

tysm for writing and posting, I really love all of your work!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

happy writing and i can’t wait for your next update!

anon i am so sorry for the late reply, i just. had to think about this a LOT. then i may or may not have forgot about it. oops. but thank you so much for the submission and for enjoying my fics!!

ok we are NOT including wips because that would make this answer infinitely harder. also because i can’t really judge them because… they’re not… done. im also not counting i want your violence, since it's not finished. i AM including kim suhwan vs. the world, however, because it's essentially finished. so i'm picking out of my 25 fics. that being said, here is my list of my 5 fics i would want people to read:

kim suhwan vs. the world

all my love

the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

and all of my dreams, they’re growing lucid (i mean, can we do two here? just the whole busan boy series. this and the beach.)

don’t blame me

pour one out for the fakenuts sure, but i havent written one im incredibly proud of yet. if the one im working on turns out good, then well… 😶‍🌫️ but thats neither here nor there since it is NOT FINISHED and i dont wanna torture myself with choosing.. really op i have 26 published fics and ur making me choose FIVE of 25. ok, i will delve into my reasoning under here.

ahem. so, to start with... kim suhwan vs. the world. i feel like this one is a little self-explanatory, if only because it's my most recent fic. i do think it's one of my best written (my older fics are definitely lacking in skill, i didn't get good at writing until late 2023 i'd say) and i just... love the plot. so writing quality is great, concept also great! description amazing, dialogue amazing. my best work so far... i guess that makes sense, since im improving in skill as i write and grow more. i love peyz. i love writing fics about love and growing up and coming of age, and okay i DID project a bit onto peyz because i too have an unrequited crush and uh... i struggle with my emotions being a "lot" a lot. especially as of late, ive been "feeling" a lot. i get angry, i get sad. i mean my dad died lol! (i do sort of separate my fics nowadays as pre-dad death and post) but this story is just so special to me. you can see my growth as a person and a writer in comparison to my first fics. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. suhwan here is so special to me, and so is jihoon, honestly. wangho is too, and... god i do love geng 2023 so much. AGH. i know chapter 5 isn't out yet, but it will be tonight, or tomorrow! before t1 geng semis, at least. i hope.

next, all my love. also self-explanatory i think. it's my most popular fic, and even though i don't even really like onerzeus, i love this story and i love my iteration of them. i really badly wanted to write a second chance homecoming story (fun fact, aml was almost a bengifaker instead of onerzeus!) and i ended up doing that. i chose onerzeus since i thought they fit it. and then the fic sorta snowballed. i initially wanted 3 chapters, 10k each, 30k total word count. hoo boy that didn't happen LOL. EVERYTHING snowballed. i started putting all my favorite music in it, and putting cars and stick shifts in, and making the almost-family have an auto shop. i put jojopyun in bc i fucking love the guy so, so much. i put many bits of myself and my dad into it (i look back on this fic with a tad bit of sentimentality because it has so much of him in it. i did write that fic before he died). but i put just.. things i wanted to put in. it was SO self indulgent! gumakeria marriage, jojopyun, music, and cars... i remember working super hard on this fic in particular, and i think it paid off. all the "surprises"/cliffhanger type-things were something i put a lot work into. i think the writing quality of this fic is... halfway decent/pretty good... description was almost amazing, and dialogue was pretty good. conceptually, one of my best. this fic will always be special to me.

next would (maybe surprisingly?) be the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb. conceptually, i believe this is my best fic conceptually, which is why i chose it. i really don't think this shows my best writing at all (not even top 5 best writing) but i think i execute the CONCEPT well regardless! i did write it in pretty much one sitting because i was in the midst of burnout and i just got the idea and knew i had to get it out, so that's my excuse on the sub-par writing quality and possibly choppy plotline. it has pretty okay description, not bad dialogue. i definitely could've made it smoother. but in general, i just love the "lck mid holy trinity" of faker, showmaker, and chovy. i love lck midlaners so much. the idea of showmaker and chovy being kindred and faker the grey man descended upon me like a blessing from the gods. BY GOD DID I COOK. i didn't write a ton of au fics prior to this fic (ntm any fantasy aus), but i really should more. i love it so much, and i love the ending (which i wrote at like 4 am in the morning in a haze because i randomly thought of it half asleep!) i'm super proud of this conceptually and i need to write more lck mid fics in general (this time with scout too!?)

okay, i really wish i could count the busan boy series as one. but i cannot, so i am choosing and all of my dreams, they're growing lucid. despite it ill be talking about both fics in this section. i think this is my best work slash series of canon-compliant gumakeria i've written thus far--(i haven't written a ton since it came out, if at all, honestly). i feel like i really perfected their characterization here, over writing so much gumakeria. the reason i pick aaomdtgl over the beach is probably writing quality/skill. busan boy is by far my "favorite" of the two concepts, but it's lacking in execution, and it's noticeable especially in comparison to its sequel. the beach has okay writing, pretty decent description, and amazing concept. and all of my dreams has great writing, great description, and great concept. i was always grumpy the beach got so much less attention than and all of my dreams, but... i guess it's for a reason, lol (also bc its um. SAD! they LOSE!). (please go read the beach if you haven't though... i do love that fic so, so much.) also stream niki and the neighbourhood... read! my first songfics i guess, i just love those two albums. also i was a tad bit insane for these two fics--i wrote the beach because i was like, worlds in Korea? lets win. time to write losing in Korea fic first to set up for it. then i wrote a large percentage of and all of my dreams before t1 even won worlds because i was so sure of it. 2023 gwen was insane.

lastly is don't blame me. this is largely because of concept, because the writing is ass. don't blame me was my second published fic, so that's my excuse. the writing IS bad, i was waltzing along lacking in skill... yeah. the prose is so short and empty and fucking hell i could nitpick all day. i guess it sort of fits the fic?? (no im lying to myself lol it just sucks.) the description is meh, the dialogue gets the point across. but CONCEPTUALLY... the fic eats! it slays! demon keria yes pls! good job 2023 gwen! you did slay! my au fics do slay, and i had so much fun with this. i really fell into the rabbithole of league lore... god i love it so much. it's just so fun to write. and the ending! i love the ending a lot and i just like the tone and mood of the fic. i mean, its chilly, a little haunting... im not sure. dbm still has unwritten sequels LMAO i may or may not choose to write... i want to, but it's been a long time... i guess only time will tell.

so... yeah! that'd be my list. if you're interested in hearing why i DIDNT include some (one) fic, keep reading :] (wjnstt was the only one i wanted to address.)

now i think the main question to myself when choosing was... do i include we just need some time together or not? i know its a rather popular fic of mine, but i nixed it in favor of dbm i guess because i prefer dbm. and in terms of canon compliant gumakeria, busan boy clears it and does it a whole lot better in everything (characterization, writing quality, dynamic, everything). i don't... like wjnstt, not really. i mean, i haven't read it in a long while, so i couldn't tell u if that's 100% accurate of a conclusion, but. it was the first fic i ever started writing, and you can TELL. hoo boy writing quality be IN THE GUTTER. oh my GOD. to be fair, again, i haven't read it in a while so my judgment is probably a bit skewed/i could be misremembering. but i haven't reread it because IM SCARED OF IT. IM GOING TO GET SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT AND CRINGE AT MYSELF OH GOD. ITS SO ASS. FUCKING HELL. my characterization is kinda ass (all of the characters), my writing quality/skill is unpolished... so many things. my description is okay... meh... i guess. my dialogue is probably the best part of the fic, and that's only halfway decent. but at the same time, i remember pouring my heart into this fic. i really do. conceptually, i think it was okay, and i remember it meaning a lot to me. i guess i just... sort of grew up and out of it. i mean, its been two years, pretty much. i wrote it in the midst of a bad depression slump, and i was younger, and... a lot changed since then, bascially. okay maybe i should reread it. fuck. we'll see i guess. i have a love hate relationship with this fic, that's all ill say for now. it'd probably make... top 6 or top 7. yeah. not sure. not top 5 though, sorry.

anyway, thank you so much for the question again op, and i'm so sorry for the late reply! and for yapping. i yapped a lot. hopefully you liked reading it though. much love, hope you have an amazing day, and let's gear up for worlds semis this weekend!!

[celestie0]

i HATE reading ongoing fanfics with a passion but i made an exception just 4 you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 your works r so good i found you from kickoff and i just caught up to the recent chapter of ihm. I JUST WANT TO READ MORE ITS SOOOOOOOOO BAADDDD ive been looking through your page to get every single crumb that i can get. (and yes, i do follow you)

okay now that i actually think about it, i technically found you on ao3 from your rolex!gojo oneshot but i didn’t know that you wrote that fic until like a few days ago. and i was like so mind blown when i found out because it was one of the first few fanfics that got me into ao3/tumblr in the first place (specifically gojo x reader fics because im a sucker 4 that man. i literally cant read anything else)

BUT ANYWAY i really like your writing and i’m super excited 4 new chapters!!!! at least until angst comes in ihm (or kickoff, if there’s gonna be another angsty part) ugh i literally do not know how i’m gonna function when the time comes because whenever i read angst i just NEED to keep reading more until things get better in the story so i can like rest in peace or something??? i dont really know either 😞😵‍💫

omg stop thanks so much <3 as a fellow dislike of ongoing fics reader, i'm so grateful that you picked up my ongoing fics!! xD i think we've all had that fic that we were heavily invested in and then the author suddenly dropped it so we just avoid ongoing fics like the plague after that 💀💀💀 aaa thanks for the love for my stories <3

OMG yes i've had quite a few people tell me they found me through luxury & lingerie kind of unassumingly and then started reading my series. i guess oneshots have good reach haha.

i'm so happy to know you're looking forward to more! and yes there is another angst arc in kickoff mmm will probs begin in two chapters from now, and then ihm will have quite a bit of angst scattered throughout. i always downplay the angst level in my fics bc i feel like in comparison to some other fics i've read my angst is pretty mild haha but i'll just have to see how my readers feel ab it :0 fret not tho babes all my series will have happy endings!!

[olderthannetfic]

I hope you dont mins me asking

But how would you suggest the best way to not be so anxious in fandoms these days.

It just seems like im going to be bullied out of fandom for even wanting to be in fandom. Regardless of the kind of content i like or how i like it. Its just seems like people who are in fandom dont want to themselves and not really about older or newer fans not wanting more new fans... Just.. They dont want fandom to exist at all anymore. If thta makes sense

Ive been in fandom for years but only recently bacame an adukt and now i really wanna start getting more involved.. I recently started a series oneshot fic thats gonna take alot of time.. But i havent even posted an actual chaoter yet and i am so afraid of gettijg a bunch of shit for it.

Its not meant to be anything explicit infact i made it very sfw bexause thats what i wanted.

But what of someone decides hey fuck you this sucks and now im going to make up reasons that your fic is (ableist, racist, homophobic stuff like that). And i just... I want to write.

Years ago i was in a much older fandom(transformers g1 if you can believe it) and it was so nice there. Maybe its because i was young but theres wasnt nearly so much anti bullshit that there is now especially in newer fandoms.

I know theres like block and ignore and delete comments but... I dont want to deal with it. And i probably know there isnt realky anytjing i can actually do about it

Its just so bad. I want to participate in fandom, but fandom is so terrible these days. Ive seen so many of my favorite artists fucking dissapear over being bullied for something they said years ago thats now considered "worthy of being tortured alive" for saying.

I just want it all to stop. I thought fandom would get better as it became more popular. Artists would have more freedom and stuff.

Instead im afraid im going to get bullied for a fucking teen rated gen fic with zero shipping, zero dark theme, and zero sex on the off chance someone thinks its not good enough. Suddenly its not appropriate for teenagers for some dumb reason

When i fucking was one two years ago. (like mate i was reading robot porn at ELEVEN)

Im so tired. I think the only good thing about the fandom im in is the fact the creators of the media are actually super chill and even supportive about fans selling fanworks and comms of characters and stuff

This was supoosed to be a simple question but ig im just so sick of how fandom is that i ended up ranting about it.

--

Getting more popular makes things much worse, not better.

But overall, anxiety is about you and your internal emotional state.

There was always danger of being attacked. It looks different now, but fear isn't more or less justified in the present day. The actual level of danger isn't the issue here.

[inkykeiji]

ok wild concept but hear me out. i have been obsessed with your touya-nii fics for. i literally sprouted on sunday but ive been a dabi seedling for a while now. but the point is that im a frequent flyer. now i say all this to talk about how i recently re-read the keigo addition to that series and this could honestly be a product of his newest imagery BUT I DIGRESS the important thing is hear me out again

so keigo naturally knows that touya is involved with his sister but touya also doesnt share outside of natsu. but ive been thinking right? what if its not always just touya’s sister as an individual that he’s attracted to? like yes he thinks she’s pretty and when he can get a round in, he finds her incredibly hot. but WHAT IF its more about the taboo dynamic and he’s projecting??? like WHAT IF keigo has his own little sister? raised beside him at the orphanage and the two of them are close but depending on your take of modern keigo, id imagine the first few years before they settled were rough. and like kei loves them, like so so much. thats his everything, like if it would only be them at the end of the world he’d be satisfied

but deep down he feels like guilty about it? like thats his sibling yknow and he knows the stigma would weigh the two of you down and he’s never wanted anything more than to see her fly high on her own aspirations. and tbh he was getting over all that. he truly was growing out of that stage. but then he met touya’s sister and all that ‘get yourself right’ shit just went out of the window. bc he’s just there witnessing in 4K while touya and his sister are just like together?? the way they share each other’s space, the way touya responds to her coos. and like he knows it doesnt take rocket science for anyone to figure out that the two of them are so obviously fucking on the side but he’s just like yo no one cares??

and i think that just like makes him spiral and he just starts craving what touya has literally bc he thinks he can never have it. bc when he catches her in the moment all fuckout out in the head, just sometimes she’ll whimper out kei-nii and he just blows his whole load

and yeah, sorry for the rambling. i just think that kei is just like why cant i have that too? and low key i think dabi knows

and yeah with that im back on to my sunday agenda. and i would your latest reply so delicious that it refueled my week and im looking forward to what comes next!! hope you’re having a great week 🌱

oooh okay so!!! this keigo actually reminds me a lot of my tag you’re it keigo, because he kind of feels the same way about his (flesh n blood) lil sister.

but anyway i digress!!! this is a really interesting idea and it is RIPE for keigo angst. i definitely do think that keigo being around touya + his lil sister with such frequency possibly would wear down his desire to be a Good Big Brother and foster a hunger to finally act on his impulses. it’s a slow erosion of his barely existent morals, but it’s constant, and envy is one hell of a monster. envy gnaws on his conscience, envy devours his common sense, envy hollows out the pit of his already empty stomach with jade claws and gnashing teeth, making room for his compulsion to fester, rot, grow.

and touya 100% knows, because touya can read almost everyone around him like a children’s storybook. and touya loves it. because touya loves flaunting what he has, what others don’t; touya loves knowing that people wish they were him. so touya turns up the PDA to fucking eleven, just to make keigo’s blood itch with want, just to watch keigo shift and squirm and avert his eyes only to bounce back and stare brazenly merely half a second later.

this really only rubs salt in the wound, nurtures the disgusting desire tangling in keigo’s tummy and ensures that it thrives.