#ive been informed that this is a common drinking song
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JOEL GRIAN LIZZIE AND JIMMY HAVE A DRINKING SONG.
Transcript under keep reading
[Transcript]
Joel: One second, one second-
Jimmy: Let me- let me give you the uh british saying.
Joel: AYUP, LAD. IT'S ME, JIMMY.
Jimmy: NO. No.
Jimmy with Lizzie and Grian joining in:
Weee like to drink with Joel
Cause Joel is our mate!
And when we drink with Joel
He gets it down in 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
*everyone cheers*
Joel: I DID IT! I'M GOING IN.
#ive been informed that this is a common drinking song#they are still very silly#solidaritygaming#ldshadowlady#grian#smallishbeans#impossible minecraft#impulse and skizz are there but like#you dont hear them#jimmy's impossible minecraft episode 4
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For the redacted match ups!! Thank you ily no rush!! <333
The song I’m fixated on right now is probably Saturn by Sleeping At Last! “With shortness of breath / You explained the infinite / And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist / I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again / I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen / I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time / That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes”
I’m an enneagram 5w4! I can never decide my mbti, something along the lines of istp or intp or entp but not estp ??? This plagues me
I love love love big youtube video essays, I’m not sure if i can pick a specific favorite!! They’re pretty much all I watch if that helps, and I have a lean toward informational ones— like, about real world events and history rather than about media— although certain media ones are really good too.
My imaginary friend’s name was Nobody. Like.. genuinely thats what i called him. I knew he wasn’t real but i felt left out ‘cause everyone else had one so when people were around I would pretend i had an imaginary friend. An imaginary imaginary friend named Nobody. He had a family too; his siblings were named Somebody and Everybody. Hell yeah
My go to way to fall asleep is in a sea of pillows (they keep my bones in place), big puffy comforter thats too big for my bed, window open, listening to podcasts til like 3am (or whenever sleep happens)
I have changed my name, and I picked it because it shares a nickname with my birth name and has the same initial— an easier transition for everyone else, they could just say my nickname if they didn’t want to say my new one. It even sounds similar. I do like the name, but it beat the other options because of that.
The first one that comes to mind as my favorite is the video where Sam heals Darlin (Vampire Tends To Your Injuries)— it was the first one I listened to and easily the one I’ve listened to the most. I’m a whore for hurt/comfort and that specific energy was too good, the mutual care and growing trust without strings attached, waaaah. I’m also really fond of the one where Avior helps Starlight sleep (Comforted By Your Demon) and the imperium one Specifically when Milo is talking to Asher about David (the beginning of Cataclysm: Last Wish) and the pain in the acting its SO GOOD. Probably my favorite bit of acting specifically from the channel, and the only scene thats made me cry. I just love when characters let down their walls and are vulnerable with each other its real good
The redacted boy who holds no appeal to me… im so sorry its caelum im so sorry it gets worse its not just caelum its huxley too i dont think i have a good reason theyre too nice and as for caelum i have a small brother i cant take any more
“Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.” Don’t say that you dont know what youre getting into. Its the entire warrior cats franchise and im ending the conversation here before i start (more socially acceptable answer: The Song of Achilles)
Hmmm I’d love to be best friends with James!!
When im tired i will usually go off about whatever random problem im concerned about that day, my most common recently is my rage about leopard print vs cheetah print WHY IS THE CHEETAH GIRLS LOGOS AND STUFF LEOPARD PRINT. THE CHEETAH. GIRLS. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK LEOPARD PRINT IS CHEETAH??? THEY LOOK DIFFERENT??? WHATS GOING ON???
Gas station snack and drink combo is usually green tea, I dont often get snacks there so im like trying so hard to figure out what id get or whats there… oo pretzels maybe
I cant tell you about my favorite playlist because i have one (1) playlist ive had since i was 14 and its just everything ive ever listened to ever, if im in a specific mood ill usually just look up the artist, recently its been a lot of Sleeping at Last and Novo Amor
I have no guilty pleasures im unapologetically me babey (its webkinz) (not the site Just the plushies) (best plushies and im very right about this)
Im sleepy and i love my cat and i would very much like to just cuddle that dang thing all day but alas, society calls. Despite this im a workaholic and not being on my feet at all times getting stuff done stresses me out in a major way— cant be stressed if im asleep, though!:D Also i eat raw potatoes on the regular (easy 2 prepare just take it out the cupboard pop it in ur mouth bb) and recently have started putting peas in my water boba style (or perhaps like a duck?) because i dont like water but i do like frozen peas and in this situation like 1 in 10 sips Theres A Dang Pea In There! This method has gotten me to drink more water than i have in probably years
You know who would know what they’re getting into and would love it? Ollie, who was definitely a Warrior Cats kid.
You say that you’re a workaholic, and Type Fives are characterized by their capability and competency… and yet, I get really fun, goofball vibes from you that I think Ollie would really love and get along with.
You’re both hard workers, curious, and diligent, but at home, you could be chill and just be with each other, be yourselves with each other. You with your Webkinz and your Warrior Cats and him with his Star Trek- it’s a lovely, comfortable home you have that’s utterly unique to the both of you.
Coming home everyday would be a delight, a reward after a long day of work. Ollie’d grab takeout on the way, orange chicken for him and whatever’s your favorite, and he’d settle in for the night, chopsticks in hand, saying “tell me about the difference between leopard and cheetah print, Babe.”
Song:
They say in Heaven, love comes first/ We'll make Heaven a place on Earth/ Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth
Ollie strikes me as the kind of dude who loves cheesy, 80’s pop; like, I can see him busting through the door with the aforementioned takeout and just bopping. It’s also just a really cute song about the person you love and the space you make together being Heaven, and I love that for y’all.
Runner-Ups:
I like Avior for you on an Enneagram basis; along with the competency and capability, there’s a dogged curiosity there that, I think, Avior would admire and would keep him on his toes. Regulus is purely because of the imaginary friend tidbit; there’d be something poetic about him taking place of your Nobody and making himself your real imaginary friend. I could totally do something with that.
Note: thank for you the Sleeping At Last song rec~ I love his whole Enneagram album, so I’ve been meaning to get into more of his discography 🧡
Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌
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Hi ❤️❤️
Can I ask for HC of Twisted Wonderland? Like, Riddle, Malleus, Epel, Vil and Azul has a crush on Yuu/reader and ask them what's their type, so Yuu/reader start to describe their type (in a jokingly way) like in GUY. EXE (a song)
Ignore this if you don't like it, im sorry if i'm being annoying
Anyways, remember drink water ❤️
thanks so much for all the sweet words! this took me a bit because ive never listened to that song before this fkskfdkl thank you for introducing me to it though i really like it
Riddle Rosehearts
He’ll ask you the question short of shyly, when you two are at Heartslabyul’s common area together, drinking some tea.
Never heard the song, so when you giggle and go “A doctor, a model, a man of possibilities.” in a sing-songy tone he’ll just nod, looking down at his teacup with reddish cheeks.
You’ll have to tell him it’s a song or he’ll go his whole life thinking that’s the sort of guys you’re into.
He also has high standards for himself (And others) so he doesn’t think it’s unreasonable? He’s sort of proud of you for knowing what you want and knowing your value actually.
Makes a little mental note to hopefully become the sort of person you could fall for. You’ll notice a little determined sparkle on his eyes when that happens.
Malleus Draconia
“Nice car, a CEO, and almost just as smart as me.” You say, and Malleus eyes subtly go wide.
Doesn’t recognize the song either, and I’m pretty sure they don’t have CEOs in the Valley of Thorns, so he’ll ask for clarification on what that is.
Just as earnest as Riddle, if not more. He’ll be patiently waiting for more information on what kind of man you’d want to be with. He could probably do that, right?
The implied high standards won’t faze him either, but, wow, he’s really impressed with your confidence. How refreshing it is to see somebody acting like that around him. Has a little moment internally because of how fearless he sees you as.
Please tell him it’s a joke. Once he knows what a CEO is he will try to become one as courtship.
Epel Felmier
You two are procrastinating on your studies and making some light conversation when he asks the question, flushed pink up to his ears. He’d been thinking about asking it for a while, and now was his chance.
He is so, so depressed when you go “Six feet tall and super strong, we’d always get along.” though.
Possibly heard the song before but when the height thing hits it hits hard. Sighs in complete defeat. Ah, so he’s no good after all, he’s barely 5′1...
If you didn’t notice his crush before you will now, it’s like a raincloud instantly appears over his head.
Remind him it’s a song and you’re kidding because his heart just shattered into a million pieces.
Might approach you long after this interaction, if he’s feeling bold, and ask, just to be sure, if you’d be okay if your boyfriend isn’t very tall, right? You wouldn’t mind if he’s actually pretty small, would you?
Vil Schoenheit
Definitely recognizes the song instantly.
“Oh, he’d pick me up at eight, and not a minute late, ‘cause I don’t like to wait, no.” You sing, smirk on your face, and Vil chuckles.
“Kind and ain’t afraid to cry, or treat his momma right” He’ll sing back at you, amused “You have good taste for a potato."
I think he'd like the song. He relates to it in a way, having really high standards for who he'd date himself. It also just has a fun beat Vil can appreciate from time to time.
Keeps quizzing you on what your type would be, though. You quoting the song only makes him more curious, are you the type to have high standards as well? A part of him hopes you are. Vil thinks you only deserve the best of the best.
Turns the conversation into subtle flirting somehow. Praises you if you do in fact have high standards, while also showing off his qualities a bit. Wants you to know he could be your picture perfect guy, if you want him to.
Azul Ashengrotto
You're having dinner in Mostro Lounge together when he brings the topic up, hoping to tailor his plan to woo you that had been already in the works (And not going too well until now, admittedly...)
Instead of getting the insight he was hoping to, though, what Azul gets is you grinning as you go I need a man who don't get jealous 'less I want him to, a gentleman to take care of me in the bedroom." before bursting into giggles.
"That's... a very bold response." He'll say, keeping his cool businessman smile, but the tips of his ears are burning red.
Another one that has never heard the song, and will think you're serious. He's taking mental notes, ready to question you further as you eat.
Hoping to let you know that, hey, he can do all these things you want your ideal boyfriend to do! He'll slide in comments about how capable he is as you talk -- Unless you just go on with the song quoting, if you do that he'll lose track of himself eventually.
It's just a lot of requeriments. You can see his eyes widening at them. He's internally panicking a bit but, but -- Surely he can do all of that, right? As long as he works as hard as he can...
Another one that needs to be warned that it's a joke before he does something crazy.
#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst imagines#twst headcanons#riddle rosehearts#malleus draconia#epel felmier#vil schoenheit#azul ashengrotto#riddle rosehearts x reader#malleus draconia x reader#epel felmier x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#lis writing
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My fam is rewatching the MCU and i jumped in the middle of Phase 2 but because ive seen the future movies i know whats going to happen and my brain is conquering a bunch of "but what if this happened instead" scenarios. They're mostly crack scenarios but they're still pretty funny so im going to share them with you
AoU Nat develops a thing with Bruce. But when he returns in IW its been two years, and Nat still kinda likes him. What if Bruce showed up on Earth with his new gf Valkyrie, who Nat doesnt meet till after their awkward reunion. Cue: Natasha Angst.
Bruce returns to Earth in IW but what if he returned with Valkyrie but shes HULK'S gf. Cue: constant correcting ("Bruce's girlfriend is drinking my whole bar" "shes not my girlfriend, shes Hulk's" *cricket noises*), Tony making jokes, and inappropriate questions about how the sex works and if Bruce is conscious for it.
What if the Guardians arrive on Earth (before Bruce does in IW) and they're the ones that inform them of Thanos. Cue: Peter having a lot of mixed feelings about returning to Earth, the GOTG not making it any easier with their comments, Peter being all "im a expert on all things Terra" and it becomes immediately clear hes not (its only been 26+ years...), Tony shoving a picture of a raccoon in Rocket's face, Peter and Gamora dancing in the breakroom and the Avengers being like "how did a guy like him land a girl like her", Drax making everyone uncomfortable, the Avengers not knowing how truly dangerous Gamora is since shes the only one of them with common sense, Mantis throwing off the Avengers' dynamic because she revealed something
Thats it for now i'll add more as we watch them
UPDATE:
In Ant-Man Scott uses a leg strangling move and it surprises both Sam and Hope. In CW Scott's first combat person was Black Widow. What if in CW Scott used Black Widow's signature (at least to the audience) move against her. Cue: surprise (as seen in Ant-Man), probably someone going "thats a girl move" and Scotts like "well i was trained by a girl so", maybe someone going "Nat he just used your move against you!"
In CW both Bucky and Steve go after the arc reactor in Tony's suit. What if the arc reactor was still regulating his heart when this happened. Cue: Steve's scary desperate fighting being seen as even scarier because he's legit trying to kill Tony, maybe Steve trying to intervene earlier like "Bucky stop! Thats his actual heart!", possibly T'Challa deciding to take Tony back to Wakanda too
UPDATE:
What if (in Black Panther) Erik was on the battlefield when the Jabari entered scene. Cue: idk M'Baku throwing him across the field? I just wanna know what Erik's reaction would've been when seeing a random huge guy just ripping through his army
UPDATE:
I didnt realize Strange knew so much song trivia so What If him and Quill got into a little argument over some 70s songs. Cue: entertainment
What If Loki didnt grab/he dropped the Tesseract and the ship reached Earth without Thanos' little stop. Cue: Asgard reaching and settling into life on Earth, Thor being excited to contact his friends and the Avengers are just like "what? how? huh?", Bruce's return/Bruce hiding out in Asgard, the news that Prince Loki is among the refugees...
Actually why were here what if Thanos has to get the Tesseract from the remains of Asgard? Like would he have to fight Surtur? Would he have to fight Hela? Tbh i think either would win in a fight with him Or are they both long gone and all thats left is rubble?
What if Hulk became Bruce again before Bruce got fast tracked to Earth in IW and he showed up in either mismatched Sakaar armor or Asgard fashion. Cue: Bruce's trip being much more real to the Avengers, Avengers believing Thor was secretly hiding him these past two years, just general curiosity over the fact Bruce was on and lived on another planet which no famous human has done
What if Bruce and Valkyrie were still doing their "i feel like i know you" thing and it drives everybody else nuts. Cue: general irritation, a unhelpful Thor, Nat not liking how Bruce's face lights up and he gets excited every time that happens
In Thor 3 Thor tries to do the whole "sun's going down" thing in the arena. What if it worked??
UPDATE:
The San Francisco chase scene in AMatW was huge so what if it happened a week before IW. Cue: massive media coverage, Avengers being like "is that the guy from Germa- DID THAT BUILDING JUST GROW", random crack theories about Ghost, Scott NOT being in the Quantum Realm when The SnapTM occured
What if Ghost was there in the fight against Thanos. Cue: her walking up behind him and ripping his heart out. Game Over. Everyone can go home now. Like the only stone/weapon that could stop her would be the Time Stone or if her treatment was permeant and not temporary. If we can have a million fics on what if Venom or another SPUMC character was there then imagining Ava there isnt that far out
In Ant-Man Hank breaks Scott out of his holding cell, in AMatW Scott sneaks Hank and Hope out of a interrogation room using the same techniques. What if Hank and Hope rescued Scott from The Raft. Cue: everyone (Team Cap) getting excited only to be left behind, them hearing the one-half conversation that is Scott trying to defend himself to Hank, everyone (government and Team Iron Man) being forced to treat Scott more seriously
#hinacu mcu#mcu#marvel#gotg#avengers#age of ultron#infinity war#brutasha#bruce x valkyrie#hulk x valkyrie#bruce banner#natasha romanoff#peter quill
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Love Shot
CHAPTER 1
A/N: Hello lovelies, Ive been working on this piece for quite a while now and im finally ready to post it. This was inspired by one of my favorite fics of all time, Good Girl, but given my own little twist. I hope you all love Love Shot as much as I do.
Pairing: Exo x Reader
Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff
WARNINGS: Language, Eventual Violence, Lots of Smut Later on
Chapter | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
I let a smile touch my lips before taking a deep breath in, nodding once at the crisp evening air before turning to lock the door of my new combined studio and apartment. It was the first day where fall really felt like fall. The scent of rain lingered under the dense clouds and the sun was already halfway gone. I had moved back to Seoul only three months ago after being gone for only a little under a year. I had originally came to Seoul to get my masters in painting and painting theory, though I quickly gained enough local fame and connections that no one could quite understand why I left. So I came back.
I stood on the side of the road, my arm outstretched as I wait for a cab. My closest friend from school in the city was opening his gallery tonight and from the posts on my snapchat I could tell a lot of old classmates were already there. Song Mino was the first friend I made when I first moved here. He was talented and refused to fit into the art box the professor tried to force all his students into, as if art should be something someone else tells you to do. It should be your own thing. We had that in common. My style is simplistic. Aesthetic. Easy to look at, but the more you look the more you see behind the top layer. We both strived to challenge the viewer, and because of that we grew really close in our attempt to stick it to the man.
The first show is always the biggest event of an artist's career, and knowing I was seconds away from Mino’s brought another smile to my face as excitement seemed to run through my toes. I couldn't believe how hard he had been working, despite him refusing to let me see anything he had made to showcase.
The gallery itself was breathtaking, I couldn't help but note the obviously more ‘manly’ stain he had chosen for the wooden columns that broke the continuous glass of the front of the gallery. I was the one who helped him make his mind up. I took it in as it was its own work of art before I even walked up the short staircase to the front doors. The tall white walls were similar to my own space, but his had matching wooden floors and walls that were scattered around the room that broke your vision from seeing everything at once. I gave myself another smile as I noticed familiar faces of old classmates and Professors.
It didn't surprise me when I first walked in that I was being asked about the past year and how I’ve been. I was hard to miss, not just because I stood taller than a majority of the women in the room. The constant questioning reminded me why I chose to fail at reaching out when I got back. I made a point to keep trying to catch eye contact with Mino, who only seemed to mask the chuckle from escaping his lips, choosing to leave me to struggle with the boring repetition of the conversations I was having. I finally found the opportunity to excuse myself and all but power walk over to Mino, pretending not to see anyone else I recognized.
“American style!” He said excitedly, pulling me into a hug.
“Don't you ever leave me to the wolves like that again” I whispered in his ear before pulling back. “Mino this is awesome, I’ve only seen a few pieces but im so proud of you!” I said covering up my mild threat before hugging him tightly again. He chuckled with bright eyes before giving my arms a squeeze. His eyes widened as he remembered the man standing next to him.
“Y/n, this is Junmyeon. He is a curator who graduated a few years before us. I've been telling him about your work.” He said as my attention moved to the slick haired man.
“You were talking about me at your own opening?” I said reaching for his hand to shake it.
“I actually asked specifically about you.” Junmyeon said with a soft smile that slowly grew.
“Oh, wow.” I tried to get out past the sound of my heart fluttering at his radiant smile. “Its very nice to meet you then.”
I was informed that Junmyeon was planning on stopping by my studio in the next few days, which brought on a new wave a nerves I've never experienced before. It wasn't until Mino placed his hand on my back to excuse the two of us could I finally breathe.
“Jesus, why is he so intimidating?” I said looking back over my shoulder as he dipped his chin to take a sip of his drink.
“If you think he’s intimidating your crazy” Mino said, leading me over to the first piece he wanted to show me.
“Did he asked to buy any of your work?” I asked before he could change the topic.
“All of it.” Mino said with a big smile.
“All of it?!”
“Yes. He’ll probably buy a lot of your stuff too. It’s more his style anyways.”
“Oh my god.” I said shaking my head.
I let Mino take control of the conversation as he began to explain the clay molded figure in front of us. I spent the rest of my time there following Mino around, while sipping on my wine and listening to him talk. Even though, as much as I was paying attention, it was hard to get your mind off of Junmyeon.
“Promise me you wont sell this one. I know you promised everything but see if this one could be an exception. I want to buy it.” I said pointing at a tall, organic figure of a woman. The memory of when Mino had made it flooded back as it was my first time to ever pose for another artist.
“Ill ask.” he said smiling before taking my hand and leading me to the next piece.
I tried to stay as late as I could. Mino was off somewhere talking art leaving me once again to be interrogated by my former classmates who all seemed to be very smug about the fact that I had yet to have an opening. It didn't matter what valid excuse I would give, they only cared that it hasn't happened yet. Thankfully I must have looked as uncomfortable as I felt since a hand wrapped around my arm to pull me back. I was just about to thank Mino for coming back and saving me when I turned to face Junmyeon.
“You didn't look too excited about that.” He said looking back over to the three girls who were all staring with confused and almost jealous looks in their eyes.
“Good to know it was obvious.” I said taking a sip of wine. Just as I was about to say something else Mino walked up.
“I think I'm going to head out. I have a pick up early in the morning.” I said, trying not to make it sound like I was at my ropes end with the girls who had added whispering to their staring. I smiled and quickly kissed Mino’s cheek softly before turning to Junmyeon and shaking his hand again, trying to do so without having to hear a protest from Mino.
The air outside sobered me up a little, and because of how nice it was outside I couldn't help but smile and start to walk down the sidewalk. Mino’s studio wasn't that far from mine, just a few blocks down and a horseshoe turn away, so I placed my hands in my coat pocket and began to walk. I let my eyes wander from the fashion that was passing me to the way the lights reflected off the puddles left from the rain that morning. Just as I was really starting to enjoy my walk the sky opened again, soft raindrops falling from the sky.
I sighed, of course this would happen. Clocking where I was I dipped into an alley, deciding the fastest way to get out of the rain in my heels would be to cut through the alleyways. Usually this idea was fine. I would maybe run into one or two strangers, but they were usually restaurant owners who were taking the trash out or sweeping their areas so the sound of voices deeper in the alley didn't really bother me.
“Kai come on! Oh my god no.” I heard a man laugh deeper into the darkness of the alley. But as I got closer to my studios back door I realized the figure I could hardly make out at first were men. Multiple men. Usually this wouldn't bother me but as I got closer the feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach started to deepen and deepen.
I took a deep breath when I started to pass them, my heart beating a million miles a minute while trying to keep a poker face to seem unphased so they wouldn't pay me any mind. Until they did.
“Hey wait!” I heard one of them call. I quicken my step slightly. Not to show I was scared, but just incase. “Wait, where are you going? I’ll walk you home.”
I looked up to see a half lit face walking backwards in front of me. I squinted slightly to try to get my eyes to adjust to what was under the ball cap he wore, but there was no use.
‘Shit’ I thought. I was staring too long. I looked away and quickened my step again.
“Oh come on! At least tell me your name!” He shouted after he stopped, his voice now behind me.
I was able to breathe again once my key was in my door, officially sure he stopped following me. But still the shape of the man's mouth was enough to stay in my brain as I flicked the lights to my gallery on and made my way upstairs to my bed.
___
“Mino I swear they were so scary.” I said pushing my denim painting shirt up past my elbows before wrapping my hands around the coffee cup that sat in front of me.
“I just don't understand why you didnt call a cab when you left.” He said sitting back in his chair, obviously taking it out on himself for not seeing me off safely.
“I just wanted to walk. I didn't plan on going through the alley.” I grumbled. I hated when Mino tried to school me. He was only a few months older than I was, and although I knew here it meant something different, he also knew that where I’m from it didn't.
“Do you at least remember what they looked like?” He asked, noticing my mood change.
“Um.. kind of. There were like five or six of them, but I only got a good look at one of them. He was a little taller than you, pillow lips… he was wearing a hat so I really didn't get a good look at his eyes. But he had to have been an athlete of some sort.” I said, my words getting quieter as I realized I would have had nothing to go off of if something bad had happened.
The coffee date ended with Mino once again scolding me, which I knew I deserved, but there was only so much I could take without pouting all the way home. I couldn't help thinking about the man in the hat. Why he was there in the alley with his friends. Why did he follow me, but then give up so easily? It's not like his friends were calling him back. If he was going to bother me in the first place, why give up? The more I thought about what had happened the more I worked myself up. They probably saw me unlock my door. What if they showed up in my studio? What if they came back with more people?
I half thought about texting Mino, but knew there was no point. He would be more worried about it than I was and he had better things to do then baby sit me in my own home. So instead, the moment I got inside I turned my windows down, making sure no one could see inside my studio incase they were passing to see if I was there. It was weird, though, this new set fear was enough to put me into overdrive. My inspiration hit me in my face and I couldn't pull a fresh canvas out fast enough to get the blurred images of last night down.
———
Music played loudly as I was lost in my own world. A galaxy of light and dark colors swirled and blended into one another across my canvas creating the confusing, but exciting pattern that seemed to get better with every stroke.
I was pulled out of my own head when the sound of someone's voice yelling over the music made me look up. I smiled to see Junmyeon and two other men trailing him into the room.
“Oh! One second please!” I said trying to press pause with the clean part of my palm. “Sorry, I didn't realize how loud that had gotten.” I said wiping my hand on my shirt before shaking Junmyeons hand.
“Its fine, good to see your working so hard because I brought with me two potential buyers.” He said gesturing to the two men on his left. “This is Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongin.” He said.
I smiled shaking Baekhyun's hand, but the moment I met Jongin's eyes I felt my body stiffened slightly. He was familiar. Almost to familiar. I forced the feeling to be shaken off though, there was no reason why he would have possibly been brought into my studio if he had been hiding out in the alleyway behind the building the night before. Or at least I had hoped. But there was something about the way he smiled at me that made me feel like he knew it too. That he had seen me the night prior too.
I tried hard not to think about it. If Junmyeon was there, I was safe and if he was the man he probably wouldn't try to do anything with two other people there to witness. I turned my attention back to Junmyeon who asked if he could look through my paintings.
“Oh of course. And the racks on this back wall have more in it. I rotate them so the ones that are up are only there because they have a similar theme.” I said before trying to smile as normal as possible and turning back to my easel.
My drive was gone. I was too busy focusing on Jongin, who stood there supporting his chin in his hand as he listens to Junmyeon explain why he liked a certain piece. I took this opportunity to text Mino. Now if any would be a good time to alert him.
Mino, I think the guy from last night in the hat is in my studio with Junmyeon. I don't know what to do.
“Y/n, were looking to fill a room. Do you have any others with these same earthy tones?” Junmyeon said, pulling my attention away from my phone.
“Oh, yes. There over here.” I said smiling, slipping my phone into my back pocket before leading the men over to the opposite wall. I walked them through my color schemes, explaining to them the way I had everything organized just incase they changed their mind on a color or style they wanted. I was surprised Junmyeon and Baekhyun were able to distract me from the thoughts swirling in my head for the rest of the time they were there, but it helped that Jongin stayed behind us, obviously not trying to chime in.
“Y/n, thank you once again for taking us in on such short notice. We will take the one on the wall and the two that have been stored if they are not already spoken for.”
“Of course, Ill wrap them for you so they’re ready to be taken.” I said turning to make a mental note as to which ones it was.
“Thank you again. We will be in touch.” He said, bowing his head slightly before taking my hand in a soft, yet firm hand shake.
“Thank you.” Baekhyun said sweetly as he took my hand next.
“Good to see you again. I hope to see you in the future as well” Jongin said with a small wink before taking my hand and giving it a firm shake.
The moment his hand touched mine my heart dropped. There couldn't be a way that was really him. The moment the door closed I reached for my phone again only to see Mino hadn't responded. It didn't stop me from quickly typing out another message, though.
It was him. It had to be him. Why else would he tell me it was good to see me again before winking if it wasn't him?
I looked up to see their backs bending one by one to get into the large black vehicle they came in, and once I was sure the door to the vehicle was closed and they weren't looking I quickly walked forward and locked the door again before backing up to my easel where I desperately tried to finish my work before deciding to just give up.
I couldn't focus. Not while finishing, not while making myself dinner, and not while I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I rolled to my side and reached for my phone. 3:00am. I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of my bed, taking my blanket with me and wrapping it tightly around my shoulders. I made your way up to the railing of my room slowly which allowed me look down onto my gallery. I wrapped the blanket closer over my shoulders before letting my elbows rest on the railing so I was more comfortably looking out the window. I smiled to myself finally feeling calm again. I loved how quiet the streets were at night. How all the colors of the lights around seemed to mix together on the rained on asphalt that laid below them.
It felt calm. But as my eyes were scanning I couldn't help but see two figures standing across the street. I squinted my eyes to try to catch a reflection of who the people were only to realize it was Jongin and Junmyeon. I stared at the two in shock as they talked across the road. They seemed to be laughing. I tried to calm myself down, telling myself they were probably just out getting drinks and just so happened to be standing across the street from my apartment. But then I remembered what the time was. I couldn't stop myself from panicking, and just as I was about to turn to hide myself, my eyes met with Jongin’s.
I didn't know it was possible for my heart to drop even further into my stomach as he gave me a devilish grin and wink. I scrambled back to my bedside table where I quickly reached for the remote that controls my space, knocking it off the table before I was able to press the button that made my windows go solid.
Chapter 2
#exo#exo fic#exo mafia#exo smut#exo reactions#exo drabbles#Junmyeon#Suho#Minseok#Xuimin#Baekhyun#Lay#Yixing#Jongdae#Chen#Jongin#Kai#Sehun#Chanyeol#Kyungsoo#DO
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🌙 — ALL ABOARD ! The HMS PROMETHEAN welcomes ISABELLE ARRYN to the expedition in their capacity of songbird. They are THIRTY-TWO & CISFEMALE and might be painted as AMANDA SEYFRIED. When you strike up an acquaintance, address them as she/her. Their deeds on land precede their arrival — people say they are charismatic, joyful and open-minded but melancholic, distant, and critical when the tide turns. Their purpose aboard the Promethean falls in line with self redemption, and coming to face with the biggest demon of all: rejection.
ACT I : GOD’S GIFT
NO ONE TRULY knows how or when you appeared. A scrawny naked child caked with dirt from blonde head to pinky toe. You like to say, now that you know better than to divulge this information, that you were born on a sunny summer day, to a loving mother while your father was off to war. There was never a mother or a father. Just you, and the constant hunger and fear that envelops all of London’s street urchins. A golden voice that brings tears to the eyes of all that are lucky enough to hear, is your meal ticket. A tiny thing, singing with conviction of love and loss, hope and despair.
ACT II : SAVIOR OR DEVIL ?
IT IS ONLY a matter of time before someone with the entrepreneurial flair sniffs you out. Your vulnerability is too easy to take advantage of ---- the price for your voice too low. He coaxes you out of the streets, into a scalding bath. Maids rub you until you’re pink, and you lift your hands, truly seeing them for the first time. Blonde locks are combed, and you’re stuck in a scratchy dress that screams wealth. Then come the lessons. Voice lessons, history, reading and writing --- you do it all. When you’re finally done, you are a woman flowered, ready to take on the world, and provide the return on your savior’s investment.
ACT III : A STAR IS BORN
THE FLU APPEARS as suddenly as it leaves. Your savior is bed ridden, the kiss of death moments from pressing against his lips, the only true lover’s embrace he will ever feel. There are no sons, no daughters, no aunts nor uncles. He gives it all to you. It was never meant to happen this way, and though you are a songbird finally free from your gilded cage, you can’t help but shed a tear as his grasp on your hands loosens. With the estate and the coffers at your disposal, you make your debut on the entertainment stage - a mysterious, beautiful creature with a voice that enchants common folk and aristocrats alike. London goes crazy for you. When once you were overlooked, you are now revered, a queen in your own right. You can have any man you desire - and you do desire, though you keep your nightly obsessions to yourself. You wouldn’t dare risk all that you’ve worked for. Until you meet HIM. The one who finally puts some sense into the songs of longing you sing every night. The stab of pain in your chest where the heart is supposed to beat makes you think you’re about to die. He brushes you off, toys with you to fuel more songs that are sung more beautifully by a heartbroken songstress than an indifferent composer.
ACT IV : A FALL FROM GRACE
IT DRIVES YOU to madness. You lose yourself to drinking and frolicking, first with London’s top bachelors, but that’s not enough. You’re losing the thrill. If you lose the thrill, your mind wanders back to the composer you can never have. You want MORE. You meet him backstage, a little older than you’re used to, but oh so regal. Grey eyes look at you as if you were the only girl in the world ---- no matter he already has one waiting at home. You feign ignorance when the tabloids hit, you try to spin yourself into the victim, but you realize quickly these people don’t actually LOVE you. They love what you do for them. The minute you are a threat to the good marriages of the people surrounding you, they treat you like the plague, whispering stories lewd and mad as they come. You even hear whispers and hints of a scheme you plotted to get rid of your savior, access his money. You stay holed up in YOUR estate. Not theirs, not his. Yours.
ACT V: REDEMPTION, AT WHAT COST ?
You board the Promethean, acutely aware of the crowd’s hushed whispers as you walk up, luggage in tow. Head held high, you’ve prepared yourself for this day. It’s been years since you’ve made a public appearance, but you’re determined to keep it cool. You know what they’re saying, but you pay no mind. There are no married aristocrats on the Promethean that you know of ---- and if there are, you’re determined to stay well away from them. This is your shot at redemption, at getting away from the whispers that fuel London’s bourgeoisie. You’re stronger now, you’ve found the little girl with the dirty feet in yourself, and you don’t plan on letting her go.
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Final Fantasy Review
Year: 1987 Original Platform: Famicom Also available on: Nintendo (NES), GameBoy Advance (Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls), PlayStation One (Final Fantasy Origins), PSP (Anniversary Edition) Version I played: PSP
Synopsis:
The world is in danger. Four monstrous fiends, each corresponding to an element of nature, have wreaked havoc on the world, causing each of the four elemental orbs (in later remakes, crystals) to turn dark. Four Heroes of Light, each holding their own orb, meet and band together to take on these fiends and restore nature to its proper balance.
Gameplay: The original game introduced the Job System. The six jobs are Warrior, Thief, Monk, Black Mage, White Mage, and Red Mage. Each have their own stats. You are free to name each of your heroes. Later on the game, each job can be upgraded.
We are introduced to a classic setup of turn-based combat. Final Fantasy was notable for being the first video game RPG to show your characters on the right and the enemies on the left; all previous video game RPGs had a first-person view with the enemy directly in front of you.You choose your action between Fight, Magic, Drink, Item or Run. Then the enemy takes their turn.
It’s a simple system that at the time was already well-known. It was really the Job System that intrigued players. Black Mages perform destructive magic, White Mages heal and restore, Warriors are the powerhouses, Monks deal damage without weapons, and Thieves can run from battles successfully (they cannot steal, as later games would introduce that). The game can be quite difficult on the original Famicom and NES. It was made at a time when technology was limited, so developers had to make the game harder so that people spent more time playing it. There’s a gaming term that I’ll be using in many of these Final Fantasy reviews called “grinding”. Grinding is when you end up having to run around and fight monsters for the sake of leveling up your characters. There is a lot of that in this game, as well as the early Final Fantasy games in general. Unlike games today, the direction isn’t fully laid out. You are thrown into the world and wander about from town to town to figure out where to go next. Instead of games like today where other non-playable characters (NPCs for short) tell you what to do in cutscenes and whatever, you actually have to approach the NPCs and find out the information. The overall effect is more open-world. You walk across fields and oceans and deserts. There are caves and other secret places to find more items. From a modern gamer’s perspective, the exploring can be quite bare and – for lack of better word – boring. The remakes, like the PSP version that I played, brightened it up with updated graphics. They also added a couple extra dungeons. I actually spent time in those extra dungeons believing they were part of the story, appalled by how difficult they were, when I later found out they were extras put in for the PSP version. That has happened a lot to me with remakes of old RPGs (Chrono Trigger for the DS, another example). A little more obvious sign would have helped to make me realize that I didn’t need to finish those extra dungeons. The pace is definitely slower than the other Final Fantasy games. Most of your time is spent grinding. Grinding can sometimes be a wary word when talking about video game RPGs. If an RPG is too boring or tedious, grinding is the last thing you want to hear. But even when an RPG is fun, grinding means that you need to spend time battling enemies, and that means hopefully you don’t have a huge backlog of other video games. It's probably why I never got around to finishing the original NES version on an emulator. Once and a while I'd be pumped up about going through with it but then as I played I just. . .got distracted by other video games that I wanted to finish.
You definitely need time and patience. The most aggravating thing about the original version (Famicom/NES) is that if your character is set to attack an enemy but another one of your characters defeats it first, that character attacks nothing but air when it's their turn. It was a very annoying issue that they fixed in all subsequent remakes. When comparing the original to any other version, the original always is the best way to experience the game. It can also be the hardest and most time-consuming. You would need to pay attention to this game entirely and not be distracted by anything else.
The PSP version is watered down. I found it infinitely easier than the NES version. I actually played them side-by-side to figure out at what point the difficulty branched off. Right away when you venture to save Princess Sara, I realized that the PSP version gives more XP per battle than the NES version. Hence, you have to grind more in the original version.
Graphics:
Everybody loves some 8-bits, but let’s be honest here – there’s a whole lot of black empty space going on when you battle.
But hey, that was due to the limitations at the time. Battles may seem more boring to you due to the lack of detail to catch your eye.
The later remakes added a floor or ground where appropriate. The PSP remake did a good job of giving a facelift to the original, as shown below. It has this cute, rounded feel to the characters.
(My favorite battle background was in the final battle.)
The opening FMV sequence is ripped straight from the Playstation One remake. That didn’t age well. It’s awkward as hell. Want to see how awkward it looks? It looks mad awkward. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just look it up. I don’t want to sully this post by posting a screenshot. In my opinion, they should have created a brand new opening FMV sequence for the PSP version.
Story: The first several minutes of the game acts as a prologue. The Four Heroes of Light save a princess - Sara - from the clutches of Garland, and then the King of Coneria allows a bridge to be built for them to enter the world and save it. It’s not until that bridge is built that the game truly starts and the title screen actually displays – much like a late opening title in a movie. In retrospect, saving a princess probably seemed like the most common trope in video games throughout the '80's. Gamers would have been used to it by then. That short prologue acts like a trope-breaker. The average gamer would have probably expected the game to be like Mario or Zelda. Oh yeah, save the princess from some evil fiend, okay, got it. They would have then maybe been perked with interest when they "defeated" Garland so quickly, and then when the King of Coneria lets them pass into the world and the title screen opens up with the theme song, they maybe were like, "Ooooh. NOW it starts." Final Fantasy then plunged them into a wide open world.
The bulk of the story is mostly comprised of self-contained incidents. You run into someone who needs help with a thing so you do that thing and then you’re on your merry way again. You know what would be a great adaptation of this game? A Netflix series. It’s very episodic. First you deal with these pirates led by Bikke, then get a ship to sail across the land and go on a sort of delivery quest for a crown, a crystal eye, an herb, a magic key, until the main story picks up with defeating the Four Fiends and bringing light to the darkened orbs. There's no real huge spoiler other than the time travel paradox at the end, which had me wracking my head a bit. It's quite admirable that a game this early in video game console history produced a higher concept plot involving time travel. Music:
Composer Nobuo Uematsu created a legendary score that immediately became on par with the Mario and Zelda theme songs. The Prelude/Crystal theme – the harp-like scale that we are all familiar with – was actually composed last. Uematsu had complete the score when Sakaguchi approached him at the last minute realizing they needed music for the game’s introduction. None of them had any idea that the theme would become a staple for Final Fantasy.
Due to the technical limitations at the time, you can imagine that the soundtrack is limited, but even so it was still quite expansive for its time. There are several individual tunes for dungeons, for sailing your ship and for flying your airship. The map theme will have you humming it without realizing it.
Uematsu drew his inspiration from two sources – classic rock and living in Shikoku, an island off Japan. The melodic world map theme in Final Fantasy (and the rest of the series) derives from the picturesque memories he has of the island. The town theme is reminiscent of the sleepy villages – as he was never a city person. Meanwhile, the battle theme has undertones of rock music.
There’s only one battle theme, even when fighting bosses and the final boss, but the amazing thing is that it never gets old.
Final Fantasy games are known for their great battle songs. The opening bassline always gets you in the groove to fight. You’re fighting but want to sing at the same time. Maybe that’s the brilliance of Uematsu; because of the fact that you need to grind many times in these old Final Fantasy games, he created a tune that you wouldn’t get tired of because it’s not so serious or mundane.
Not to crap on other great developers, but other video game RPGs at the time of Final Fantasy didn’t quite have memorable battle music. Just look up the battle theme to the first Dragon Quest game (released before Final Fantasy). You can imagine how that simple tune could get old really quick. I could be pulling this out of my ass, but after Final Fantasy, it seemed that battle music in video game RPGs suddenly got better. If you listen to the Dragon Quest IV battle theme, there is a portion that sounds similar to the battle theme of Final Fantasy.
The PSP version adds more tracks, specifically to the boss battles, and I like how they incorporate the original battle motif thrown into the new battle songs. The original battle theme has a guitar and drums added, which is the style that Final Fantasy battle music was known for by then.
There is one last thing to note about the score that I found very interesting for its day and age. You see, in a movie score, you have themes and motifs, just like a video game score. But in a movie score, other tracks reference those themes and motifs. For example, you have The Raider’s March in the Indiana Jones films; that’s the theme for the character Indiana Jones. Then in the movie, whenever Indy does something badass, you hear his theme blare in that instance. Obviously the entire theme doesn’t play, but it is incorporated in snippets throughout.
Uematsu actually does this with the Town Theme. He incorporates it at the ending music in the epilogue. It took me a while to try to understand why. Then it hit me. The epilogue mentions the heroes becoming legends as people talk about them. Legends are told and spread in towns.
It’s a very small detail. It’s such a small detail that it could be nothing but if it is what I think it is, then it’s cool that he was already in the mindset of passing on themes and motifs throughout the game, treating it like a movie.
Notable Theme:
I already posted the main themes in the introduction, but here’s the original battle theme:
youtube
Verdict:
A strong debut to the Final Fantasy series. To a modern gamer though, you may be spoiled by the fast-paced, eye-catching video games of today. When console games first hit the market, developers had to create games that took longer than the average arcade game to finish, or else kids would get bored with their games in minutes and gee, wouldn’t that be a waste since they paid way more than a quarter? Thus, that’s another reason why old games are harder. Given the technical limitations at the time, developers couldn’t expand much on the game, so there’s a lot of leveling up and grinding because what else could you do? You know? Ultimately, playing a video game back then was all about honing your skill with that game.
Ideally, you could play through every Final Fantasy game in order of their release, and that would give you a greater sense of the evolution of the gameplay and the series as a whole. However, most people reading this (and me) are probably more modern gamers – and as such, our perspective is biased on what feels “exciting” and “remarkable”. The first Final Fantasy game could feel boring and tedious to you now, but if you put it in the context of when it was made, this was entertainment for hours on end. This is basically like watching one of those silent adventure films starring Douglas Fairbanks. Yeah, you’ve been spoiled with more amazing stuff like The Matrix and Star Wars, but golly – this stuff blew people’s minds back in the day.
Direct Sequel? No. However, there have been multiple remakes, which I have already listed above.
#final fantasy#final fantasy nes#final fantasy famicom#nobuo uematsu#square enix#square#squaresoft#final fantasy i#final fantasy origins#final fantasy psp#final fantasy anniversary edition#onvideogames#video games
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Miscommunication
Star Trek fic (Alternate Original Series. Word count: 1794)
5+1 misuses of the ship wide communication on the USS Enterprise
1.
“What could go wrong?”
As if summoned by the cursed phrase on the captain’s lips, the shadow of Bones appeared on the bridge.
He jabbed a finger at Kirk. “You are staying here. You will not being going down there.” The finger jabbed at the lush green planet on the display.
“Why not?” A yeoman with a death wish might have described the captain’s tone as whining.
“Because all the green stuff down there is Feleran rose. You are allergic to Feleran rose.”
“Fine,” Kirk agreed.
Several hours after the landing party came back, Kirk slunk into the med bay.
“Bones? I got a rash.”
Bones refused to turn around. He stared into the depths of his PADD. “Where?”
“My hands… and back… and ribs.”
“You itchy?”
“Yeah.”
“How’re your eyes and throat?”
“Normal, I guess.”
Bones finally looked up. “Fine. Sit. I will take a look.”
He scraped at Jim’s red raw hands and took the sample over to the computer.
Bones glared at the results. He went deadly still. “Jim. This is Feleran rose.”
He turned around. Jim had vanished.
Bones calmly pressed the button on the wall to open a ship wide communication. The button screeched with disuse.
“Jim Kirk if I find out you stepped one foot on that planet I will throw you into a supernova myself.”
2.
There was a party in engineering. The unlucky crew who were scheduled to duty and the unfortunate who had been duped into covering shifts were miserably serving their time.
On the bridge, Ensign Kelly had the con. She was slouched almost to the floor in the captain’s seat, glaring out into open space. If she ever got her hands on Yeoman Slater she was going to launch him into the void for tricking her into this post.
The ship wide communicator chirped. Kelly jerked to attention. Music and laughter filtered over the speakers.
“Hellloooo Enterprise!” A very drunk voice sang. “This is Lieutenant Luis. I am hereby announcing my romantic engagement to Lieutenant Nelson. Aaaaaand, I am cordially inviting the whole crew to our wedding at the next space dock!”
A loud cheer echoed through the comm.
“Alright,” a grumpy voice interrupted. “You’ve had enough. We’re all very happy-,”
3.
Ensign Maddox had been attacked on the surface of a planet. Four hours after being returned to the Enterprise, Bones was finally satisfied with Maddox’s stable condition. The young ensign was awake, but heavily sedated. He would be counting his own fingers for a few hours.
Bones leaned his head in his hands with the door to his office shut. The kid was so young. Freckled green skinned, red haired little child. They got younger every day. Bones was already planning the booze he’d be drinking to stave off the nightmares of blood on freckled skin.
The ship wide communicator chirped. Bones jumped.
Heavy breathing rasped on the comm. “This is Ensign Maddox. I am officially resigning my commission on the basis of I want to live to forty! Y’all can keep risking your lives for whatever it is we’re doing out here in the black. Give me a space suit, I’m jumping ship.”
Bones scrambled out of his office. Maddox was leaning half on the wall, still slurring into the communicator. “Starfleet can kiss my space rocks. I’m going to be a farmer.”
Maddox screamed when he saw Bones coming. He scrambled closer to the wall and thus the communicator.
“Help! Help! I’m being attacked!”
“I’m not attacking you, idiot. You’re under the influence of heavy meds. Get your butt back in bed.”
“Oppression!” Maddox yelled into the wall. His feet windmilled.
Bones grabbed his arm before he fell. Into the communicator he said “Can I get a security detail to watch Ensign Maddox while he sleeps off his drugs, please?”
“Oppression!” Maddox shrieked in Bones’ ear.
“Hurry it up before I go deaf. McCoy out.”
4.
Replicator 3 was out to get her, Kelly decided. Every time she asked for the spaghetti and garlic toast, replicator 3 used too much garlic. The other replicators didn’t treat her like this.
The ship wide comm chirped. Chatter in the cafeteria slammed to a halt.
“I don’t know, Spock,” the captain’s voice said. “Lately I just want to punch Pike in the face.”
Kelly’s cheeks burned. This was obviously not a conversation the captain meant to broadcast. All around the cafeteria, giggles were being stifled in hands and leering grins were exchanged.
“I was under the impression your relationship with the Admiral was on pleasant terms,” Commander Spock answered.
“It is,” a sigh crackled static shipwide. “It’s just that sometimes he still treats me like a kid. Like I’m still that guy who joined Starfleet on a dare.”
“I don’t mean to misunderstand you, Jim, but you are that person.”
“I know.” Something shuffled, like the captain was rearranging himself. “But I’m more than that now. I’ve earned more respect that that. But sometimes, just for a second, I can see Pike comparing me to my father’s ghost.”
A bang echoed over the speakers. Doctor McCoy’s voice suddenly cut in. “Hey idiot. Pick up your bleeding comm. You’re broadcasting your sob story to the entire ship.”
The captain cursed. “Spock, why didn’t you say anythi-,”
Kelly bit her tongue to keep the giggles in. She looked up and caught Yeoman Tar’s eye. They both lost it.
5.
Kelly was enjoying some peace and quiet in her quarters when the ship wide comm chirped. She set down the book she was reading on her PADD.
“-For the fourth time. Is this thing on?” The Scottish melody of the Chief Engineer floated through the ship. “Attention Enterprise. We are experiencing communication errors throughout the ship. Please be advised that faults are causing ship wide communication failures and, er, not failures.” There was a pregnant pause. “The comms may start broadcasting without warning, so, ah, watch what you say, yeah?” The message ended.
Almost immediately, a ship wide comm chirped. “Ever seen a binary nebula? Most beautiful thing in the whole universe if you ask me. There’s one out by Scorpio IV that’s all red and purple. It looks like a rose opening up. I always thought it would be a real romantic spot-,”
Kelly groaned into her PADD. It was never a dull day on the Enterprise.
Kelly was in the cafeteria cursing Replicator 3 when the next comm flub happened.
“-nothing more than a sprain, Ensign.” Nurse Chapel’s voice flooded the ship. “You’re lucky it wasn’t worse. We have safety protocols for a reason-,” the broadcast ended.
Kelly exchanged a glance with Lieutenant Nelson.
“At least it wasn’t personal medical information,” he said.
“It’s just freaky, though. It’s like there are no private conversations today,” Kelly poked at her replicated yogurt with too many chunks. “I feel like I can’t talk to anyone.” She was interrupted by another ship wide comm.
“If you ever need help with this stuff, I’m always willing to show you again-,” A female voice crackled.
Kelly waved her hands. “Like that! That was a private, essential conversation and now the whole ship is going to gossip about it.”
It went like that all day. The ship became haunted. It was eerily quiet in the halls, and in common areas, where no one wanted their private conversations to suddenly become public. Ghostly voices floated through the ship, the echoes of people who were not there.
Kelly ground her teeth through her bridge shift as she was forced to listen to someone in engineering detail the entire plot of the book Kelly had only just started. If she wasn’t on duty, she would have stuffed her fingers in her ears and sang ‘lalalalala’ until it was over.
Captain Kirk consulted with Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura at her station. Kelly couldn’t hear them over the villain ruining her book, but she noticed Kirk was pushing a lot of buttons and Uhura was letting him. The ship wide broadcast suddenly changed from the engineer’s voice to Kirk’s.
“If anyone besides Scotty can fix this, it’s you.”
“Then let me do it,” Uhura said. Kelly watched her lips move with the broadcast as she swatted the captain’s hands away from her controls.
“Captain-,” Spock started.
Kirk interrupted, “I’m just trying to help. What if you feed the broadcast back into a single location?” Clearly none of the team had noticed their bridge crew was tipping their heads towards their conversation.
“I tried that,” Uhura fumed. “The only place the system will let me isolate the broadcast to is the bridge.”
Spock tried again to get Kirk’s attention. “Captain,-”
“Hang on Spock.” Kirk addressed Uhura. “So isolate to the bridge. Is that so bad?”
“Do you want to listen to the crew chatter all day while you’re supposed to be commanding a starship?”
Kirk shrugged. “It’s more entertaining than plotting a course to the middle of nowhere.”
Ensign Wells stifled a laugh. Commander Spock locked eyes on him. The Vulcan eyebrow went up.
“Captain, I believe this conversation is no longer private.”
Kirk straightened up, his shoulders rigid. “Whoops.”
The whole bridge burst out in muted giggles.
Kirk turned around and faced his crew with a fake smile plastered on his pretty face. “Ok folks, show’s over. Back to your stations.”
Apparently the isolation of the broadcasts to the bridge had only been a temporary patch. In the middle of Kelly’s sleep shift, she jolted awake to a loud chorus of punk music blaring throughout the ship. Kelly groaned and stuffed her head under her pillow.
A door slammed somewhere near the location of the song. “Gary! Everyone can hear your horrible taste in music!”
It was going to be a long night.
“Good morning Enterprise,” Scotty’s whimsical accent interrupted Kelly’s breakfast again. “You will all be glad to know that the ship’s communications system has been fixed. The technology responsible has been tried and executed for its crimes. Scotty out.”
+1.
“Good morning Enterprise,” The captain’s voice echoed throughout the ship. “I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge the fact that today is day 1000 of our 5 year mission. We’ve loved and lost over that time. We’ve discovered things no one has ever imagined before. We’ve paved the way for new adventures, new loves and new losses. I’d like to have a moment of silence for those who haven’t made it this far.”
“Thank you. And now I’d like to play for you a classic Earth song that I think perfectly encapsulates the journey we are on.”
A woman’s sang along to a pumping beat. “I’m all about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble-,“ the song abruptly cut out.
“Scotty! I thought you said you fixed it!”
End
#star trek#alternate original series#jim kirk#bones mccoy#spock#uss enterprise#5+1#fic#star trek aos#captain james t. kirk#dr leonard mccoy#commander spock#scotty#montgomery scott#miscommunication#buttdial#malfuction#technology#fanfiction#fanfic#ensign kelly#all about that bass
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When the Land is Cursed - Catastrophe and Magical Pollution in “A Song of Ice and Fire”. Part 2: Asshai-by-the-Shadow
(Asshai by the Shadow. Art by René Aigner)
In my previous post about the Doom of Valyria, I framed the blighted lands of the Valyrian peninsula and the surrounding Lands of the Long Summer in terms of magical pollution. I argued that it is possible that magic was partially the cause of the Doom in some form - possibly related to spells that the Valyrians used to make mining active volcanoes a feasible project. The Valyrians had a tendency to meddle magically with the natural order of things and in that sense, the Doom is framed textually as the punishment for such hubris.
What I found particularly interesting is the fact that the Doom not only shattered the Valyrian peninsula and turned it into a smattering of islands in a new sea - but that it also left the land blighted far beyond the the peninsula itself. I’m specifically thinking about the city of Mantarys where children often are born severely deformed, in a way that is eerily reminiscient of the effects radiation damage in the wake of nuclear disasters in our world.
However, the ruins of Old Valyria and the Lands of the Long Summer are not the only places in the world of ASoIaF that suffers from magical pollution.
There is at least one other place that is magically polluted in a similar manner but perhaps to an even larger degree.
I am speaking of that mysterious place at the end of the known world: Asshai-by-the-Shadow. It lies in the far eastern reaches of Essos where the Jade Sea meets the Saffron Straits. It is just north of an unexplored landmass called Ulthos. It is about as far from Westeros as you can come.
THE CITY OF ASSHAI
Asshai is a mysterious place - its origins are lost in the mists of time and even the Asshai’i don’t know who built this city. It is a forbidding place:
Few places in the known world are as remote as Asshai, and fewer are as forbidding. Travelers tell us that the city is built entirely of black stone: halls, hovels, temples, palaces, streets, walls, bazaars, all. Some say as well that the stone of Asshai has a greasy, unpleasant feel to it, that it seems to drink the light, dimming tapers and torches and hearth fires alike. The nights are very black in Asshai, all agree, and even the brightest days of summer are somehow grey and gloomy. Asshai is a large city, sprawling out for leagues on both banks of the black river Ash. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Asshai-by-the-Shadow)
This description of the gloomy cityscape of Asshai also brings to mind the trope of Foreboding Architecture.
Some of the statues were so lovely they took her breath away, others so misshapen and terrible that Dany could scarcely bear to look at them. Those, Ser Jorah said, had likely come from the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai. (On Vaes Dothrak, AGoT, Daenerys IV)
This trope is mainly associated with video- and computer games but I do think that it is relevant in this context. Another trope that seems to come into play is Evil Is Not Well-Lit, which corresponds perfectly with the rather sinister reputation that Asshai has when it comes to magic:
The dark city by the Shadow is a city steeped in sorcery. Warlocks, wizards, alchemists, moonsingers, red priests, black alchemists, necromancers, aeromancers, pyromancers, bloodmages, torturers, inquisitors, poisoners, godswives, night-walkers, shapechangers, worshippers of the Black Goat and the Pale Child and the Lion of Night, all find welcome in Asshai-by-the-Shadow, where nothing is forbidden. Here they are free to practice their spells without restraint or censure, conduct their obscene rites, and fornicate with demons if that is their desire. Most sinister of all the sorcerers of Asshai are the shadowbinders, whose lacquered masks hide their faces from the eyes of gods and men. They alone dare to go upriver past the walls of Asshai, into the heart of darkness. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Asshai-by-the-Shadow)
Several of the most powerful, mysterious and somewhat sinister magic practitioners that we meet in the novels have all spent time in Asshai: Mirri Maz Duur, Melisandre of Asshai and Quaite of the Shadow. Even a maester of the Citadel, Marwyn the Mage, travelled to Asshai to study magic.
(Asshai. Art by Marco Iozzi)
One curious aspect is that Asshai is a HUGE city. It has enormous land walls and it covers enough ground to contain Volantis, Qarth, King’s Land and Oldtown. However, despite its size it has rather few inhabitants. Its population roughly corresponds to a good-sized market town, which probably means that it has a couple of thousand inhabitants. This, of course, raises the question of what happened to the original population. Thus, Asshai is a variation upon the trope of the Ghost City:
A Ghost City is the larger version of a Ghost Town, and is used in visual media as shorthand for 'something terrible has happened'. A city typically contains millions of people, and the viewer knows that only the hugest of disasters could completely clear it of its inhabitants. [...] Usually there is one person, or possibly a few people, left to contrast the vast emptiness. (TVTropes)
However, Asshai is a thriving trade port despite its forbidding aspect as it is known for gold, gems and esoteric knowledge. Strange treasures can be found in the black bazars of Asshai - and ships travels from all parts of the world to partake in its riches.
THE SHADOW LANDS
Asshai is situated at the tip of a mysterious area called the Shadow Lands. It is a landscape of mountains and rivers, of which the most prominent is the river Ash that runs through a deep and narrow valley called the Vale of Shadows.
Though the landscape is harsh, the Shadow Lands are not entirely unpopulated. Certain areas are inhabited by the so-called Shadow Men. Not much is known about these natives of the Shadow, other than that they cover their bodies in tattoos and wear red laquered wooden masks. They are also known for piracy and reaving.
(Shadow Men. art by HBO)
Many stories exist about the Shadowlands but a common denominator is that these lands are home to twisted and monstrous creatures - demons, dragons and worse.
Some legends claim that the dragons originated in the Shadow:
She had heard that the first dragons had come from the east, from the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai and the islands of the Jade Sea. (AGoT, Daenerys III)
There might just be some truth to this legend as the three petrified dragon eggs that Daenerys Targaryen receives as a wedding present came from the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai. Furthermore, during Bran’s first vision when he lies unconcious after his fall from the Broken Tower he sees this:
He lifted his eyes and saw clear across the narrow sea, to the Free Cities and the green Dothraki sea and beyond, to Vaes Dothrak under its mountain, to the fabled lands of the Jade Sea, to Asshai by the Shadow, where dragons stirred beneath the sunrise. (AGoT, Bran III)
That is an interesting little tidbit of information and I wonder if it will play a part in the story to come novels. Some fans believe that GRRM initially planned to have Dany visit Asshai but that he ultimately dropped that plot (x). I’m not so sure about that because the story has set Dany up with a narrative arc as a failed saviour from the very beginning.
However, from a Doylist perspective, Dany’s proposed solution to the problem of the raped women becomes part of a pattern in her narrative arc where she attempts to save people from something (rape, slavery), only to end up with solutions that are very similar to the conditions she wanted to save people from. She wanted to save the Lhazareen women from wartime rape by putting them in a situation where they would be subject to marital rape. She wants to save people from slavery but end up using unpaid labour as well as profiting from people selling themselves into slavery. (x)
It is true that the shadowbinder Quaithe wants Dany to visit Asshai:
"To go north, you must journey south. To reach the west, you must go east. To go forward you must go back, and to touch the light you must pass beneath the shadow." Asshai, Dany thought. She would have me go to Asshai. "Will the Asshai'i give me an army?" she demanded. "Will there be gold for me in Asshai? Will there be ships? What is there in Asshai that I will not find in Qarth?" "Truth," said the woman in the mask. And bowing, she faded back into the crowd. (ACoK, Daenerys III)
By not going to Asshai, Daenerys may have been set up by the narrative to fail as a saviour for the third and most important time - because she doesn’t learn whatever truth that Quaithe wants her to learn. The Rule of Three dominates Dany’s narrative and after ultimately failing to save the Lhazareen women from rape and after failing to definitely end slavery in Meereen, I fear Daenerys is set up a third and final time as the saviour of mankind.
GRRM has said that if Asshai appears in the novels it will be through flashbacks. If that is the case, then we may learn the truth that Quaithe alludes to and I think it is very possible that this truth relates to dragons. It is worth noting that there’s dragonglass in Asshai, just like there is on Dragonstone. It is, apparently, one of their important export goods.
STYGAI - THE CORPSE CITY
Asshai is not the only city in the Shadow Lands. In the Vale of Shadows lies the ruined city of Stygai, also called the City of the Night because it only sees sunlight for a brief period of time each day.
On its way from the Mountains of the Morn to the sea, the Ash runs howling through a narrow cleft in the mountains, between towering cliffs so steep and close that the river is perpetually in shadow, save for a few moments at midday when the sun is at its zenith. In the caves that pockmark the cliffs, demons and dragons and worse make their lairs. The farther from the city one goes, the more hideous and twisted these creatures become...until at last one stands before the doors of the Stygai, the corpse city at the Shadow's heart, where even the shadowbinders fear to tread. Or so the stories say. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Asshai-by-the-Shadow)
Stygai is yet another example of the trope of the Ghost City but unlike Asshai, Stygai is completely abandoned - and a place of fear, even among the shadowbinders.
The name itself is interesting. Some fans believe that Stygai is an intertextual nod to the story “Shadows in the Moonlight” by Robert E. Howard (x). That is certainly possible but it is also worth remembering that in the English language “stygian” is used as a synonym for “extremely dark, gloomy or forbidding”, which certainly fits the description of a ruined city in the heart of the Shadow Lands. In the literal sense, “stygian” means something like “of or relating to the river Styx”. In classical Greek mythology, Styx was one of the rivers that constituted the border between the Earth and the Underworld (Hades), the realm of the Dead - and that definition is certainly also pertinent to the city of Stygai, which borders the black waters of the river Ash.
THE LAND IS STERILE
One curious feature of Asshai and its environs is, in my opinion, extremely important: the land is completely sterile! Outside the city nothing but the inedible ghost grass grows:
Down in the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai, they say there are oceans of ghost grass, taller than a man on horseback with stalks as pale as milkglass. It murders all other grass and glows in the dark with the spirits of the damned. (Jorah Mormon to Daenerys Targaryen, AGoT, Daenerys III)
In fact, the Asshai’i are entirely dependant imported food and fresh water as the waters of the river Ash are blighted and unhealthy.
The waters of the Ash glisten black beneath the noonday sun and glimmer with a pale green phosphorescence by night, and such fish as swim in the river are blind and twisted, so deformed and hideous to look upon that only fools and shadowbinders will eat of their flesh. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Asshai-by-the-Shadow)
Incidentally, this little detail about the fish living in the Ash sounds eerily reminiscent of wildlife affected by nuclear fallout or extreme chemical pollution. The very climate is unhealthy:
There are no horses in Asshai, no elephants, no mules, no donkeys, no zorses, no camels, no dogs. Such beasts, when brought there by ship, soon die. The malign influence of the Ash and its polluted waters have been implicated, as it is well understood from Harmon's On Miasmas that animals are more sensitive to the foulness exuded by such waters, even without drinking them. Septon Barth's writings speculate more wildly, referring to the higher mysteries with little evidence. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Asshai-by-the-Shadow)
The mention of Septon Barth here is an interesting and possibly important bit of information. I have previously written about Septon Barth and his writings on magic and unnatural creature. There are Doylist reasons for believing that his writings may contain clues to the magical mysteries of A Song of Ice and Fire. Furthermore, Samwell Tarly has in his possession the possibly only surviving copy of Barth’s Dragons, Wyrms, and Wyverns: Their Unnatural History.
He [Maester Aemon] asked Sam to read for him from a book by Septon Barth, whose writings had been burned during the reign of Baelor the Blessed. (AFfC, Samwell IV)
This book is a Chekov’s Gun waiting to go off at some point in the story.
There’s another important detail about Asshai where the water is undrinkable, where livestock die and where no edible plants grow:
There are no children in Asshai!!!
Asshai is so polluted that its inhabitants can’t even reproduce! They have to import food and water - and they cannot have children. Thus, there are plenty of signs that Asshai is a severely polluted place - but is the pollution of a magical nature?
She was stronger at the Wall, stronger even than in Asshai. Her every word and gesture was more potent, and she could do things that she had never done before. (ADwD, Melisandre I)
In this quote we should pay special attention to this sentence: “stronger even than in Asshai”. The implication being that Melisandre’s magic is stronger in Asshai than in other places (except for the Wall). There’s a reason that so many practitioners of magic travel to Asshai - there is of course the existence of ancient texts but it also appears as though the place itself enhances spellwork. The combination of the Ghost City trope and all the signs of pollution indicate that some kind of magical cataclysm once took place in the Shadow Lands and I suspect that Stygai was Ground Zero for this catastrophe, which turned Asshai-by-the-Shadow into the most polluted place in the world of A Song of Ice and Fire.
ASSHAI AND THE GREAT EMPIRE OF THE DAWN
As previously stated, the origins of Asshai are lost in the mists of time. So who, exactly, built this incredibly large city? On r/eddit the user u/sangeli has posted an elaborate and well-argued theory that Asshai was built by the Great Empire of the Dawn (GEotD).
In ancient days, the god-emperors of Yi Ti were as powerful as any ruler on earth, with wealth that exceeded even that of Valyria at its height and armies of almost unimaginable size. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Yi-Ti)
u/sangeli argues that the GEotD is the only real candidate as the founder of Asshai in terms of the time period, the geographical location and its power. The GEotD was ruled by the gemstone emperors (Pearl, Jade, Tourmaline, Onyx, Topaz, Opal, Amethyst and Bloodstone). u/sangeli argues that the GEotD had dragons, which isn’t impossible since there are hints in the novels that there are, or once were, dragons in the Shadow.
According to legend the GEotD didn’t survive the Long Night and u/sangeli argues that Valyria could be the product of an Asshai’i diaspora - and a fragment of Septon Barth’s lost book Dragons, Wyrms, and Wyverns: Their Unnatural History seems to suggest something of this kind:
In Asshai, the tales are many and confused, but certain texts—all impossibly ancient—claim that dragons first came from the Shadow, a place where all of our learning fails us. These Asshai'i histories say that a people so ancient they had no name first tamed dragons in the Shadow and brought them to Valyria, teaching the Valyrians their arts before departing from the annals. (TWoIaF, Ancient History: The Rise of Valyria)
I’ve previously mentioned that it is always worth paying attention to what Barth says when it comes to the history of the world, magic and dragons. Furthermore, this particular quote comes from the companion book The World of Ice and Fire where it is emphasized by the lay-out by being separated from the main text by a sidebar. There are Doylist reasons for taking the text in this sidebar seriously as GRRM himself has written the text in the sidebars of the book whereas his co-authors are responsible for the main text (x). Furthermore, u/sangeli argues that there is at least one clue in the novels that support this theory - the fever dream that Dany has when she miscarries during Mirri Maz Durr’s sorcerous ritual:
Ghosts lined the hallway, dressed in the faded raiment of kings. In their hands were swords of pale fire. They had hair of silver and hair of gold and hair of platinum white, and their eyes were opal and amethyst, tourmaline and jade. "Faster," they cried, "faster, faster." She raced, her feet melting the stone wherever they touched. "Faster!" the ghosts cried as one, and she screamed and threw herself forward. A great knife of pain ripped down her back, and she felt her skin tear open and smelled the stench of burning blood and saw the shadow of wings. And Daenerys Targaryen flew. (AGoT, Daenerys IX)
The ghost kings of Daenerys’ dream all have the silver-gold hair of the Valyrians but their eyes are described as gemstones, more specifically the gemstones that the emperors of the GEotD were named after. I have to say that this is a pretty compelling clue and though I don’t agree with everything in their comprehensive theory, I do find their argument that Asshai was the centre of the GEotD and that Valyria may have been founded by an Asshai’i diaspora after the Long night compelling.
THE LONG NIGHT
If it is indeed correct that Asshai was the centre of the Great Empire of the Dawn, then the stories of this legendary civilzation may hold the clue to the kind of cataclysm that left Asshai, Stygai and their environs permanently polluted to the degree that the very land is sterile. According to myth, the end of the GEotD came when the Bloodstone Emperor usurped his older sister the Amethyst Empress:
When the daughter of the Opal Emperor succeeded him as the Amethyst Empress, her envious younger brother cast her down and slew her, proclaiming himself the Bloodstone Emperor and beginning a reign of terror. He practiced dark arts, torture, and necromancy, enslaved his people, took a tiger-woman for his bride, feasted on human flesh, and cast down the true gods to worship a black stone that had fallen from the sky. (Many scholars count the Bloodstone Emperor as the first High Priest of the sinister Church of Starry Wisdom, which persists to this day in many port cities throughout the known world). In the annals of the Further East, it was the Blood Betrayal, as his usurpation is named, that ushered in the age of darkness called the Long Night. Despairing of the evil that had been unleashed on earth, the Maiden-Made-of-Light turned her back upon the world, and the Lion of Night came forth in all his wroth to punish the wickedness of men. (TWoIaF, The Bones and Beyond: Yi-Ti)
I don’t think that it was the act of usurpation itself that caused the Long Night. It is much more likely that it was the Bloodstone Emperor’s practice of magic (such as the dark arts of necromancy) that ushered in the Long Night. I think that only a magical catastrophe of extreme proportions can explain why Asshai and the Shadow Lands are so severely polluted that nothing is fertile in this particular region. Exactly what caused the Long Night remains a mystery - so far - but it is possible that Stygai was the Ground Zero of this catastrophe since this city is completely abandoned and even shadowbinders fear to enter it.
ON THE DANGERS OF MAGIC
GRRM has hinted that the Others work as a kind of analogy of climate change in his story:
I mean, we have things going on in our world right now like climate change, that’s, you know, ultimately a threat to the entire world. But people are using it as a political football instead of, you know … You’d think everybody would get together. This is something that can wipe out possibly the human race. So I wanted to do an analogue not specifically to the modern-day thing but as a general thing with the structure of the book. (GRRM)
Thus, I don’t find it impossible to think that an improper use of magic can function as an analogue to pollution within the narrative. After all, the text itself warns against the use of magic on more than one occasion:
“Take a lesson, Bran. The man who trusts in spells is dueling with a glass sword. As the children did. Here, let me show you something.” He stood abruptly, crossed the room, and returned with a green jar in his good hand. “Have a look at these,” he said as he pulled the stopper and shook out a handful of shiny black arrowheads. (Maester Luwin to Bran, AGoT Bran VII)
“We free folk know things you kneelers have forgotten. Sometimes the short road is not the safest, Jon Snow. The Horned Lord once said that sorcery is a sword without a hilt. There is no safe way to grasp it.” (Dalla to Jon Snow - ASoS, Jon X)
There’s no safe way to use magic and it is dangerous to meddle with nature through the means of sorcery.
(Sadly, I haven’t been able to source all the art work)
#asoaif#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#meta#asshai#asshai-by-the-shadow#the shadow lands#stygai#dragons#the great empire of the dawn#the bloodstone emperor#the long night#valyria#magical pollution
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September 15, 2017
Fragments— Reflecting on anger a sort of Introduction
i
I am trying to write a social justice-sustainability-peace song. This is as far as I have gotten.
Where have all the flowers gone, since the election? Where has the dialogue gone, now that we yell and scream? You may say it’s social media, typing, and not raised voices, But you know we’re all making some dissonant choices.
This divisiveness, it’s like some sort of infection, All the medicine won’t do any good, not pill or cream, You may say it’s someone else, spreading these angry voices, But you know we’re all making these dissonant choices.
Take care of others now, it’s time to give a helping hand, Find the empathy in your heart, spread it through the land, Stand up for justice, peace, sustainability, while you can, Find the common ground where all of us can stand…
ii
I am searching for interconnections and intersectionality between social justice, sustainability, and peace—how each affects the other. I don’t want to focus on the negative, but I do feel a need to say something that would get at the role of divisiveness and hate in our current anxieties and politics—not just in the November 2016 elections, not just between the camps, not just within the left. It is everywhere, infused with out morning hot drink.
iii
We must reach out our hands to each other. Yes, we can and should express our differences, speak our anger, listen to the anger of others. However, we cannot afford to weaponize that anger, to externalize it into missiles and nuclear warheads. Don’t let anger shoot, stab, run us over in an un-civil war of accusations and blame that wounds our souls. We cannot let this roiling rage keep us from joining together in common cause, which we all have—the need for peace, social justice, and environmentally-sustainable practices. We must use our real angers, somehow, as building tools, to join together to create more humane, just, sustainable, and peaceful structures in our world. We must harness the anger to make love, not war.
Even so, it will be an imperfect world.
But, if we find a way to work together, through our differences, it will be a better world, too.
iv
Audre Lorde had this to say, in her 1981 speech (later printed as an essay), The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism:
Every woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional, which brought that anger into being. Focused with precision it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and change. And when I speak of change, I do not mean a simple switch of positions or a temporary lessening of tensions, nor the ability to smile or feel good. I am speaking of a basic and radical alteration in those assumptions underlining our lives.
I have seen situations where white women hear a racist remark, resent what has been said, become filled with fury, and remain silent because they are afraid. That unexpressed anger lies within them like an undetonated device, usually to be hurled at the first woman of Color who talks about racism.
But anger expressed and translated into action in the service of our vision and our future is a liberating and strengthening act of clarification, for it is in the painful process of this translation that we identify who are our allies with whom we have grave differences, and who are our genuine enemies.
Anger is loaded with information and energy. When I speak of women of Color, I do not only mean Black women. The woman of Color who is not Black and who charges me with rendering her invisible by assuming that her struggles with racism are identical with my own has something to tell me that I had better learn from, lest we both waste ourselves fighting the truths between us. If I participate, knowingly or otherwise, in my sister’s oppression and she calls me on it, to answer her anger with my own only blankets the substance of our exchange with reaction. It wastes energy. And yes, it is very difficult to stand still and to listen to another woman’s voice delineate an agony I do not share, or one to which I myself have contributed.
Why has this passage come to mind? Besides the fact that it remains relevant about privilege, more than 35 years later, it also speaks to the in-fighting among people who want to change the world positively, who have shared goals in making change—activists, if you will. The need to share our “grave differences,” but at the same time to work together as allies to resist—and overcome—”our genuine enemies.”
Audre Lorde Photo: Dagmar Schultz
v
It seems to me that these are some of the tools and forces of our genuine enemies: greed, oppression, racism, ethnocentricity, genders-based bias, unfettered capitalism, and fascism. Also: war, famine, and destruction of resources. Also: hatred, division, rage. Also…
vi
Right now, my Facebook feed streams with angry posts between Clinton and Sanders supporters and third camp—fourth, fifth, sixth… camps—who attack both and each other, all arguing an election nearly a year old and few looking for ways to work together for the mid-term elections a little over a year away. People argue about the best way to resist, all the while they criticize and attack each other for not approaching a particular issue in the “correct” way.
What I don’t feel is a constructive analysis and dialogue emerging from this divisiveness. I don’t feel that the anger focuses on the genuine enemies. Instead, the angry posts shred our (potential) allies against those who would divide us on the way to grinding us up. At times, my paranoia rings its tocsin, suggesting that those who oppose positive, life-and-humanity affirming change—my genuine enemies—foment the pitched battles (especially those in social media). I feel that too many of us (yes, I would include myself) think we “understand” the problems we face, and that others “don’t get it.” We want to be correct. My way or the highway.
That path only leads to traffic jams.
vii
Lorde tells us, “Anger is loaded with information and energy.” Are we listening? I often bristle and respond with anger—I fire off a few well-aimed zingers, a few capable of carrying nuclear warheads. Or else, I turn away and don’t listen. I miss the opportunity to learn from the information in the anger.
I fight against the energy in the anger, draining us both, as I argue my point of righteousness. I don’t take in the energy in the “anger expressed” to help energize our (potential) alliance. I don’t look for ways to translate it “into action in the service of our vision and our future.”
Thus, by not listening and firing my “defensive” missiles, I miss opportunities for “a liberating and strengthening act of clarification.”
This is critical when listening across the social, racial, economic, regional, generational, religious, gendered, and so many other divides of the world. It is as critical when listening to the anger that appears ready to pull apart groups of people who want to make a positive difference. When we are torn apart from each other. Divided, we will fall.
Yet, to stand together, we will have to listen to each other, to engage in learning from each other, and to find ways to translate our anger, our pain, our fear for the future into “… the painful process” of this translation, so that we identify who are “our allies with whom we have grave differences,” and who are “our genuine enemies.”
viii
A storm hammers my brain—this tide of attacks without engaged dialogue hammers my brain—my brain hammers against the ways in which I fail to do all of the many right things that need doing. And in my frustration, I forget to try to do just some of those many right things as well as I can—even if not to the level of an ideal and perfect world.
And here is where I end up, stalled, frustrated, angry. But where I want to end up is caring for humanity with empathy at the intersections of social justice, sustainability, and peace. The writing, music, and photographs in this issue have at their heart, I believe, empathic caring for all of our fellow humans. This caring motivates the work you will find ahead. Yes, you will feel anger. Yes, you will hear anguish. But all of it comes from hearts full of a desire to create “liberating and strengthening act[s] of clarification.”
—Michael Dickel, Contributing Editor
100TPC PREQUEL ISSUE: PEACE, SUSTAINABILITY, SOCIAL JUSTICE
How to read this issue of THE BeZINE:
Click HERE to read the entire magazine by scrolling, or You can read each piece individually by clicking the links in the Table of Contents. To learn more about our guests contributors, please link HERE. To learn more about our core team members, please link HERE.
Table of Contents
Poetry
Honeymoon’s Over, John Anstie Refugee blues, W. H. Auden The Hands Off, Paul Brookes Prisoner, Paul Brookes The Stricken, Paul Brookes Three men, Rob Cullen Measuring the Weight of Clouds, Rob Cullen I Didn’t Apologize to the Well, Mahmoud Darwish gods of our making, Jamie Dedes let us now praise the peace, Jamie Dedes do not make war, Jamie Dedes Pigeon dreams, Jamie Dedes Visions Then and Now / Again, Michael Dickel Come on up folks, Michael Dickel High Technology Death, Michael Dickel the game of war, Iulia Gherghei Peace in the Desert, Joseph Hesch genome for survival, Charles W Martin :: submarine ::, Sonja Benskin Mesher :: reimagine the world ::, Sonja Benskin Mesher :: the burning ::, Sonja Benskin Mesher Building Freedom, Carolyn O’Connell Another Note in an Endless Melody, Phillip T. Stephens the places between, Reuben Woolley virginia’s move, Reuben Woolley knucklebone excess, Reuben Woolley
Musings
Eclipsed, Naomi Baltuck ~ Gen X Musings ~, Corina Ravenscraft
Music
Waiting on the World to Change, John Clayton Musical Interlude for Change, The Young Bloods and Dionne Warwick and Burt Bacharach
Except where otherwise noted, ALL works in The BeZine ©2017 by the author / creator
Around the World with 100TPC Posters
Some of them are—like ours—straight-forward with a simple and clear message, some are cluttered with messages, and others are true works of art. No matter which, together they demonstrate the strength of this movement, the passion and commitment.
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The BeZine 100TPC Virtual Event
The BeZine September issue previews the themes of the 100TPC BeZine online “live” event we will host 30th September, 2017: peace, sustainability, and social justice. We are particularly interested in a positive focus on the need for human connectedness, healthy human interrelations, and caring for our fellow humans as well as ourselves. Sometimes, it takes clarifying anger. More often, this connectedness comes from listening to and learning from the anger and anguish of our fellow humans.
From police killings of unarmed citizens to governments rejecting immigrants and refugees; from racism to anti-Islam and anti-Semitism; from state-sponsored violence to terrorism—the political and social landscape increasingly values some among humanity over others. Any de-valuing of one human devalues all of us.
Given the rise of anti-humanity activism in struggle for “power over”—militarization of police, white supremacism, NAZIism, KKK, and corporate greed, for examples— as part of the “mainstream” U.S. political landscape that culminated with the election of Donald Trump and in the recent violence in Virginia (among other white supremacist terrorist acts), the focus of this year’s 100TPC live event at The BeZine will be why caring for our fellow human beings is the prime desirable human value, and how social justice, sustainability, and peace arise from that caring and contribute to all of humanity.
Come to the event to browse, view, read, and listen; to contribute your own words, art, music, or links; to comment on what others have posted. Instructions will be available here, beginning at 12:01 AM, 30th September (West Coast U.S. Time). Check in throughout the day to see what new has been posted, to post something new yourself.
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The BeZine, Vol. 3, Issue 12, 100TPC Prequel Edition September 15, 2017 Fragments— Reflecting on anger a sort of Introduction i I am trying to write a social justice-sustainability-peace song.
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disability insurance quoting tool
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Nashville lies at the heart of a divided country: Trump got bubbas to the polls
As the president staged a rally attended largely by out-of-towners, Democratic-leaning denizens of Tennessees Brooklyn pondered an urban-rural rift
Men in stetsons, check shirts and jeans swing their partners around to the thrum of drums, fiddle, keyboard and steel guitar of Mike Oldham & The Tone Rangers. The walls at Roberts Western World in Nashville, Tennessee, are coated with beer logos spelled out in neon or on lampshades or mirrors, old concert posters, photos of country music greats and three rows of cowboy boots for sale. The tiled floor is barely visible under the heaving crowd.
At this and other honky tonk bars on Broadway, Nashvilles main tourist drag, the music is old country: songs about drink, divorce, hardscrabble heartbreak, the miserable struggle to make ends meet. It is a playlist that has taken on new resonance in the era of Donald Trump, like a requiem for white working class voters in small towns who, feeling left behind with nothing to lose, propelled him to the White House.
But Nashville is a booming city where southern civility, religion and conservatism collide with a young, creative and liberal population. Paradoxically, the heart of country music is increasingly at odds in class, culture and politics with the heartland that surrounds it. In this it mirrors the dislocation of other burgeoning American cities that are islands of Democratic blue in deep red Republican states.
There is a vast gulf in ideology and approach to the world, said Bruce Dobie, a Nashville-based media entrepreneur. Its just crazy right now. My street and city are overwhelmingly Democratic. Were astonished by everything we see at the moment.
Dobie estimated that when the US president rolled into Nashville on Wednesday for a campaign-style rally, around 80% of the crowd was from out of town. Trumps warm-up acts were country singers the Gatlin Brothers and Lee Greenwood, whose rendition of God bless the USA earned a cheer with the words to the hills of Tennessee. Trump joined him on stage, grinned, shook his hand and raised two thumbs up as the crowd chanted USA! USA!, some with fists raised, in a near-religious frenzy.
So Im thrilled to be here in Nashville, Tennessee, the home of country music, southern hospitality and the great president Andrew Jackson, Trump said, referring to the 19th-century populist described by the state museum as champion of the common man and notorious for forcing Native Americans off their land.
The crowd waved signs including Promises made, promises kept, Lefty media lies and Women for Trump. Carma Williams, 63, a retired office manager who had travelled from 70 miles away, said: I love him because hes honest. Hes doing everything he said he would do during the campaign. I think hes the first president whos done that.
Inside Roberts Western World after Trumps rally in Nashville, Tennessee. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian
Outside the Nashville Municipal Auditorium there was a modest gathering of protesters. One stood out. James Walker was wearing a red Make America great again baseball cap, sunglasses, a beard, a black North Face jacket and khaki trousers. He held aloft a sign that said: Ive made a huge mistake.
The 31-year-old explained: I voted for Trump. I thought it would be a positive change, a change that Obama didnt come through on, and it would shake things up. It has shaken things up but in a bad way. I realise now that some of the things that were just campaign promises seemed to carry on beyond the election and become a reality.
Walker, who grew up in California and spent two years in the military, said he ordered the trademark Make America great again hat many weeks ago but it had only just arrived. So that was the spark: I know what Im going to do with this.
He expressed a desire for atonement. I dont know what thats going to be but this is the first step: showing up and being honest.
Walker now works as a wine broker and lives across the Cumberland river in east Nashville, dubbed the citys own Brooklyn with its embrace of beards, tattoos and artisanal foods, along with Jack Whites record label and an explosion of diverse guitar bands and songwriters. Walker added: Its mostly Democratic, blue territory. Only a few of my friends admitted to voting for Trump and did so in confidence. Today is the first day Ive gone public.
Beside him at Wednesdays demonstration was Lisa Kaas Boyle, an environmental attorney holding a bag that posed the question: What would Dolly do? a reference to country music hall-of-famer Dolly Parton, who supports gay rights but said of Trump and rival Hillary Clinton: I think theyre both nuts. Surveying the queue of thousands of Trump supporters that snaked up and around and down a grassy hill, she said: Im shocked by this huge turnout. It really feels like a gut punch for me. Im sure they came from far and wide. Its shocking to me that people have no regard for their fellow Americans.
Boyle has just returned to Nashville after 30 years, partly to be close to family and partly in response to Hillbilly Elegy, author JD Vances personal insight into problems of the white working class including alcoholism, divorce, domestic violence, drugs and hopelessness. As the Washington Post put it, elites in both parties are studying the book as a sort of Rosetta Stone to understand the conditions that enabled the rise of Trump.
The 52-year-old, said: After reading Hillbilly Elegy, I feel progressives have to be involved. I cant just hang out in California with my like-minded friends. I have to make a difference here.
In last years election, Trump trounced Hillary Clinton by 26% in Tennessee, a Bible belt state that was the birthplace of the Ku Klux Klan and was last won by a Democrat when Bill Clinton, a southerner, carried it in 1996. Among the few counties he did not win were those containing Memphis and Nashville.
There are a lot of liberal artists
Now, Nashville is thriving with an influx of young professionals priced out of other cities. A record 13.9 million people visited the area in 2016, up 45% over the past decade. The music industry is worth $10bn to the region, according to a 2013 report commissioned by the Music City Music Council, and includes Americana, jazz and other genres as well as country.
It has come a long way since the Grand Ole Opry barn dance became a radio hit in the 1940s, leading to a recording industry and stars from Hank Williams then to Taylor Swift today. It has long been seen as music of the conservative heartland when Elton John denied a rumour that he would perform Trumps inauguration, he suggested, Why not ask … one of those fucking country stars? Theyd do it for you but its relationship with politics has always been more complex than often assumed.
Downtown Nashville. Visitors to the area, drawn by its famous music scene, are up 45% over the past decade. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian
Bob Dylan, the troubadour responsible for some of the 60s defining protest songs, spent the end of the decade in Nashville and collaborated with Johnny Cash, the man in black who performed for presidents and prisoners. Merle Haggards 1969 Okie from Muskogee was regarded as a conservative anthem but he later defended the Dixie Chicks after they condemned George W Bushs invasion of Iraq and recorded a song in support of Hillary Clinton.
During last years presidential election an informal survey conducted by the trade publication Country Aircheck found that 46% of industry professionals supported Trump while 41% favoured Clinton. But unlike Hollywood, most prefer to remain silent, perhaps fearing that any declaration of allegiance risks losing half their audience.
Earlier this month an analysis by BuzzFeed found that of the 87 artists currently on either Billboards Top Country Albums or Hot Country Songs charts, only five Sturgill Simpson, Justin Moore, Chris Janson, Maren Morris and the Brothers Osborne have gone on the record with clear pro or anti-Trump views.
Sitting at the bar at the Red Door Saloon in east Nashville, Clay Johnson, 29, a composer, said: Trump probably got a lot more support from country music artists than hip-hop artists. But there are a lot of liberal artists. It would be wrong to paint them all as conservatives.
Musing on the urban-rural divide, he added: In rural Tennessee youll see people whove lived there and grown up there. In Nashville people tend to come and go like in any city. Its population versus space. Its shitty how one side can dictate how the other side lives because they live different lives. Its the same anywhere. When you live in the city, its different from living on a farm.
At another table as the clock ticked past 1am was Zie Campbell, 25, a freelance illustrator and teacher. Tennessee is a red state, Nashville is not, she said. Its a melting pot, as much of a New York as its going to get down here. This has been very hard for our specific community because we are surrounded by ignorance and bigotry.
In the rural areas theres not a desire to experience anything else. My dad smokes Marlboro Reds, Ill smoke Marlboro Reds. My dad listens to Johnny Cash, Ill listen to Johnny Cash. In the city you dont have that option any more: whether or not you are seeking it, youre forced to see others.
Zie Campbell, an illustrator and teacher in Nashville: This has been very hard for our specific community. We are surrounded by ignorance. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian
Campbells parents live 220 miles away in Knoxville. Her father voted for Trump but she found Clintons defeat devastating. She continued: I am an example of the exact opposite of my dads opinions. When the sexual harassment allegations against Trump came out, my dad and I had a long conversation. I cried. We decided were not talking politics after that.
If the other side is willing to bomb Dresden, how do you fight that?
How can the rift between urban and rural, between blue and red, be healed? I dont know if there is something to be done, Campbell said. I dont think anyone is trying to sway anyone else. I dont think theres a whole lot of grey area.
Dobie, the media entrepreneur, said: Thats the $64m question. If youre a modern Democrat youre not in the mood to pussyfoot any more, having been subjected to what amounted to the bombing of Dresden in the last election. Trump committed Dresden. No one is in the mood be accommodating or easy.
Were now in a moment when I dont see much room for sitting around the campfire and holding hands. If the other side is willing to bomb Dresden, how do you fight that? You really have to take it to the streets.
Both parties are likely to compete fiercely for what might be described as the country music constituency. Dobie said: Struggling to meet bills, shooting a deer, breaking up with your girlfriend the lyrics of the country song speak the needs, desires and concerns of the conservative folk and thats why its been successful.
Thats the crowd were all talking about. Thats the demographic thats up for grabs in America and Clinton couldnt harness. Trump got the bubbas to the polls; Clinton did not. The bubbas are listening to country music.
Clay Johnson, a composer in Nashville: Its shitty how one side can dictate how the other side lives. Photograph: Jon Morgan for the Guardian
The divisions here are reflected across America, after an election that exposed brutal faultines and the education split among whites was said to be the critical factor.
Nadine Hubbs, a professor of music at the University of Michigan and author of Rednecks, Queers, and Country Music, said: In the US, our cities are places where many of us go to prosper while small towns or exurbs or suburbs are often places where people are left behind.
Nashville and Austin [in Texas] are really good examples of this phenomenon. To bridge the gap there are economic inequalities we need to pay attention to. Often the most unbridgeable gaps are the ones created by contempt for another group: lack of respect and stripping of dignity.
The way people who are prospering look down on folks who are in rural spaces, often associated with country music, creates the kind of divisions that are really hard to bridge.
The elites talk about the need for education of people in rural spaces; well, we know almost nothing about them. The economic and social segregation of the classes is worse maybe than its ever been in our history.
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from Nashville lies at the heart of a divided country: Trump got bubbas to the polls
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