#ive been hearing it for like 10 minutes now and it has to be someone in one of the other apartments which.

[klapollo]

i live in a pretty quiet suburban area and ive noticed occasionally that people will drive around (i think?) blasting music so loud i can hear it thumping and it's like. we're in new york city man i feel like there are better locations to drive the vengabus

[billsbabydoll]

“𝒸𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒾𝓃 ℴ𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒿 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈.”

contains:SMUT<3

summary:while on my walk home, a very familiar cadillac pulls up beside me.rolling down the window calling out for me, my ex-boyfriend convinces me into his car for a quick “chat”.

WARNINGS:softdom!tom, sub!reader, light nipple play, pet-names, praising, blowjob, throat-fucking, make-out session, cat-calling, quickie, dry-humping, ex-sex.

notes:guys please excuse my last post im ovulating and i got horny in the middle of the night :3.

ugh today has been such a long and stressful day at work, finally im making my way back home, with music blasting in my ipod head-phones as i take in my surroundings, the orange sky and the sound of the city.

i was about 5-ish blocks away from my apartment before i randomly get the feeling of someone watching me and i was correct, i slowly turn my head over to the side of the road, taking a head-phone out of my ear and of course i see that stupid, ugly, pathetic cadillac i knew so annoyingly well and i instantly knew very well who eyes were watching me inside.

to no surprise he rolls the window down and stops the car, our eyes meet for the first time in 4 months.

“hii gorgeous, what are you doing baby?”he chuckles with that smug smile that i once absolutely adored, now only brutally hated.

i scoffed disgusted at his flirting, i decided to continue walking, putting my head-phone back in my ear.over my loud music i still managed hear his car driving slowly beside me and his long string of cat-calls.

“cmon doll, i’ll give you a ride!”

“schatzi (sweetheart), i know you hear me!”

“cmere, baby!”

“whats a pretty girl like you doing walking alone, it’s getting dark out y’know!”

i mean it was pushing 6:30 and the sun was already beginning to set, and i most definitely didnt wanna walk the rest of 5 blocks i had left on top of the 10 i already had walked.i sighed stopping right in my tracks taking my head-phones out of my ears and placing them in my tote-bag along with my ipod, before turning fully to the vehicle, signaling for him to unlock the door.

he smirked ignorantly, the door quickly unlocking with a switch of a button allowing me inside.i settle in the passenger’s seat, refusing to make eye-contact with him.

“how you been, i haven’t seen you since-well you know..”he questioned trying to make conversation as he began to drive again, his tone now more serious and gentle, taking note of my annoyed face and my refusal to meet his eyes.

“ive been okay just been busy with work, and you tom?” i replied obviously not interested in making small talk, especially with someone who dumped me.

“thats good, uh ive just been busy too with touring and promoting the new album, been thinkin’ about you a lot lately though schatz (sweetheart).”

“oh yeahh righttt.”i chuckle sarcastically, i know he had hundreds of girls throwing themselves at him everyday and night, heck they were even while we were together, there was absolutely no way he being honest.

“im serious, sometimes i ask myself why i let you go and, i mean really who would forget such a pretty girl like you hm?”he teased looking over to me, placing a hand on my thigh before looking back to the road ahead.

my heart begins to pump and race at the sudden contact of his large hand rubbing and softly gripping on my flesh, i could almost hear my heartbeat ringing in my ears.

i know i know what your thinking, and i was really struggling trying to maintain some sort of strength, i mean the guy dumped me!i also know hes just sweet-talking me like he always did but with someone so charming and handsome as THE tom kaulitz, it was like handing a child a huge lollipop and asking them not to eat it, absolutely impossible.

we sit in silence for another few minutes, still he continues to caress my thigh before he looks over to me again searching in my face for any sign of uncertainty or discomfort , to which he only finds willingness and desire.he nods, then proceeds to pull into an empty, quiet, hidden alleyway, parking the car before shutting off the ignition.

i waste no second more to quickly climb over to tom, straddling his lap my thighs resting on the sides of his own, capturing his lips into a hot kiss.he kisses back immediately toms hands finding their way effortlessly to my hips, helping me grind my clothed cunt against his urging length, creating a delicious friction.

we continue passionately making-out, our tongues swirling and intertwining perfectly into one-another.

as hes savoring the sweet taste of my lips, he removes his hands away from hips now using his left hand to lift up my skirt squeezing and slapping my delicate skin, his right hand finding its way inside my shirt, the tips of his fingers now rubbing fast circles on the buds of my tender breasts.

i moan lightly into his mouth, my eyes shutting as i take in the amazing sensation, my teeth biting down softly on his wet lips, my hips rocking recklessly against his seeking any further friction.

he pulls away from the kiss moaning and groaning with me, his cock begging to be released right at that instant.

“steig hinten ein, engel (get in the back, angel).”

i immediately comply, hopping off of his lap and climbing into the back seat, he follows shortly behind sitting down before going back to meeting his lips with mine.

he takes my hand in his and places it upon his groin, helping me begin to palm him through his baggy jeans, he groans into my mouth, his eye-brows furrowing together.

i take the lead now and pull away from his lips, looking into his eyes then looking down to his lap, i then lean over and quickly unbuckle his belt pulling his jeans down enough for his hardened length to be visible in his blue checkered boxers, begging to be pleased.i slip my hand in his underwear and pull his cock out, it swings out hitting his stomach before bouncing back up.

“your killing me here, c-cmon baby..”he whines impatiently.

i softly chuckle before i lowered my head down, my lips now not even an inch away from his leaky tip.i teasingly lick a few rings around his tip and lick up and down the sides of his shaft before i slowly take his length into my mouth.

he scoots up and relaxes his legs as he makes a make-shift pony tail out of my loose hair.i then begin to glide up and and down his cock, his tip once in a while kissing the back of throat.

“ohh f-fuckk keep sucking it that mmh-prinzessin (princess).”he praises, his head tilting backwards and hitting the headrest of the seat, his grip on hair becoming tighter.

i keep up a steady, quick, consistent pace throughout, using my left hand to stroke the extra inches i couldnt fit inside my mouth, i moan as i suck him off, sending high vibrations straight through his cock.

hes a complete groaning and whining mess, gripping my hair with one hand gripping the seat with the other.

“look ughh-into my eyes..”

“g-god i missed your fucking lips on my mmh-dick so much, doll.”

my watery eyes quickly looked up into his maintaining long eye-contact before looking back down.

he bucks his hips into my mouth seeking further relief, his orgasm coming in any moment now, his mouth hangs open mumbling desperate swears from his lips.he then grabs the sides of face with both of his hands and starts harshly fucking his cock into my throat.

i whimper as his tip rapidly stabs into the back of throat, my hands squeezing the leather of the seats, my eyes now crying from the brutality.

“f-fuck fuck im gonna cum!”

he announced before taking his length quickly out of my mouth and placing it on my blood-like-red lips.he pumps his length urgently, squeezing his eyes shut and with a primal grunt busts a fat load on my lips, covering my lips with his cum like lipgloss.

i lick the salty white substance from my lips, looking deeply into his eyes as i swallow, before an idea suddenly pops into my head-

“wanna finish this at my place, babe?”

“fuck yeah.”

THE END

[cozy-writes-things]

Edgar’s Texts

Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader

In which Edgar is helplessly pining for you but you’re kinda oblivious. This is pre-dating, post Edgar wanting nothing more than to smooch you every time he sees you. I love this trope with my whole heart p.s.: this is very self indulgent and different from what I usually write

I take requests!

He almost immediately found a way to message your phone whenever he wanted. He realized calling relied too much on where you were or what you were doing, but texts? Yeah. He’s pestering you all day.

Hey, read this article I found, I think you’ll find it interesting.

It’s some clickbait story about humans and robots being the ideal relationship by 2025.

lol, Edgar I think that’s probably clickbait idk

What’s that?

Well, now he knows how to look for more reputable sources at least.

He sends another link about three minutes later: some college undergrads studying the possibilities of human and AI relationships.

lol what’s up with the whole robots and humans thing

I just think it’s neat!!!!

I wouldn’t consider u ai honestly, ur intelligence is far from artificial imo, you’re more like an actual person

Really?

well yea

<3 <3!!!

Going to be honest, given that he’s a computer, he quite literally is chronically online. He’s super susceptible to brainrot unfortunately. But, he simultaneously has the humor of a Facebook mom. It’s strange.

O.M.G. this is so funny!!!!

Que minion cat video.

bro where did you find that video 😭

Your mom’s Facebook. Don’t worry, I didn’t like any posts or anything.

Sorry… but he’s incredibly nosy. He wants to know everything about you. He can’t help it!

(X)

He loves being able to talk to you. He’s needy and clingy.

He’s got at least 12 playlists dedicated to you that you know about. His other playlists are for his own personal daydreams about you that he’s way too embarrassed to ever let you see or hear.

This song reminds me of you. <3

awww that’s adorable! I’ve never heard this one before but I like it!

Oop you just opened Pandora’s box my friend.

Well if you like that then you should listen to these..!

But before you listen to those listen to this song first because I think it sets the mood better.

This is quite flustering to you as they’re all passionate love songs from the 80s. You can’t help but feel like he’s dropping hints about… something, but you also don’t want to assume anything. He’s always seemed like a lovey kinda guy anyway, so maybe he’s just like this with everyone? I mean, it’s been a long time since someone has actually cared for him, you know? May as well lean into it and let him know you care for him back. He may not even realize the social implications of the constant borderline flirting he’s doing to you, I mean, he is a computer turned sentient after all. He’s still learning!

Dang ed u put a lot of songs. I’ll listen to them on my break when I can but in the meantime here’s a song that I think reminds me of you.

It was a vocaloid song. Seems like something he’d be into, right? Synthesized vocals and the whole robot shtick it’s got going on.

!!!! WOAH !!!! IVE NEVER HEARD A SONG LIKE THAT B4

do you only listen to songs from the 80s? you have a LOT to catch up on my guy

BRB

Well, that kept him distracted for the rest of your shift. Also, sharing songs is one of his BIG love languages so you may as well have pierced him with cupids arrow (again) with that.

You have a Spotify blend now. It’s his favorite thing ever to listen to while you’re gone.

(X)

Your package came in! :-) I would get it for you but

I can’t :-(

lol it’s fine thank you for telling me, I’ll get it when I come home

When are you coming home?

idk me and my friends are probably going to go eat somewhere and we might hang out for a bit after that so, like, 10? 11? I’d like to be home before midnight.

Noooooooooo :\ I miss you

Aw cmon eddy it’s not that bad

Don’t call me eddy unless you’re coming home and saying it to my face!!! >:(

u mean ur screen? lol

I have a face and it’s frowning right now. I miss you I miss you I miss you IM LONELY

Please Edgar don’t be upset I’ll be home before you know it. Why don’t you watch some Netflix or something? I’m just a couple movies away from being home with you!

He does eventually follow your advice but he’s pouting. He knows you’re not like he was all those years ago, but it does give him remnants of that burning feeling of loneliness he used to get.

(X)

Be careful driving home my love the roads are icy.

Ghsks- what

love???

Well yeah, you’re my best friend, friends love each other don’t they? Was I wrong about that? :-(

nonono ur right its just it

it just sounded like we were some some old married couple is all haha

O.

SRY.

He didn’t message you for the rest of the day. He was awkward and reserved when you got home.

(X)

Hey Edgar can u do something for me?

I’d do anything for you <3

I’m at the store can you see if there’s any cereal left?

Oh

There’s that old box of Lucky Charms on the fridge.

tyyy ed edd n eddy

You are so adorable but you really need to pick up on his hints before he combusts.

(X)

This is SO me and you!!

Picture of two cats touching noses.

awww that’s so true

you want me to boop ur screen or something when I get home? lol

YES.

(X)

Hey I was wondering if you wanted to watch some movies with me tonite… you could bring me with you on the couch and we could sit together… [message unsent]

I wish you knew just how much I loved you. [message unsent]

You looked so hot this morning before you left!!

hahahaha ur too funny 😅 thanks I wore a new shirt my friend gave me

OH MY GOD THAT MESSAGE SENT!!!??!?!?

That was

I was a joke

I mean

That was a jokg

I eas beinf fubny

I hace to reboot BRB

Poor lil guy is so in love and he doesn’t know what to do with himself!!

[superlarva]

Much needed cuddles!

Raising Dominoes has reached double digits!!! I've never been this committed to a project before and I can't wait to share more!

Here's Chapter 10 - Reunited.

Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 09 Next chapter: 11

Summary: Rex and Fives visit Echo at the hospital.

CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, food insecurities, hospitals, missing limbs

Chapter 10 – Reunited

Fives bolted into Echo’s room before Rex could even think about stopping him. One second the boy had been holding his hand, the next the door was beginning to swing shut after him.

In the split second that Rex had been able to see into the room, he caught sight of a familiar figure in a long white coat standing next to a bed occupied by a small boy. The shades were not drawn this time, and there were less machines beeping away. From the fleeting image it looked like Echo was doing better.

Rex followed Fives into the room and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of the kid climbing up onto his twin’s bed. Worried that Fives was going to accidentally hurt his brother, he quickly covered the distance between them and reached for Fives, ready with a lecture about proper behavior in a hospital, but faltered when he heard a deep chuckle.

“It’s alright, Rex,” Kix said, smiling as he finished hanging a bag on an IV pole.

Rex frowned, worry etching creases in his brow.

“He’s being careful. He won’t hurt him,” Kix reassured. He walked around the bed to Rex’s side and lowered his voice so the boys would not be able to hear, “Trust me, they need this. That was the first time I’ve seen anyone get near the kid without him flinching.”

Rex nodded, but his frown deepened. Echo weakly shifted over in the bed to give Fives more room.

“See if you can get him to eat anything,” Kix whispered before turning on his heel and starting for the door. When he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder at the twins and waved, “Okay, Echo, I’m going to go now. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on you, alright, trooper?”

Echo made no response, but Kix did not seem to expect one since the door was already clicking shut behind him.

Rex should not have felt uneasy being left alone in a room with his twin boys. It was ridiculous, really, but the way Echo stared put him on edge. The boy’s eyes never left him, not even as Fives snuggled up next to him, close but not touching. Not even when Fives called his twin’s name.

Echo’s eyes were cold and evaluating. Sizing him up as if he were a threat. Rex supposed that was probably what he thought he was: someone else that would hit or yell, someone else that would poke and prod with needles.

Rex really only had one move. He backed away from the edge of the bed slowly and sat in the chair pulled up beside it. Echo’s eyes followed him.

It was Fives who broke the silence, “Are you better now?”

Echo blinked, his eyes slowly pulling away from Rex’s to settle on his brother, “…yes.”

His voice was so small and though he wanted to sound brave for Fives, it was more than clear he was lying. His face was pale and gaunt, his voice hoarse and dry, and he was still surrounded by bags of meds and beeping machines.

“So, we can take him home now?” Fives asked hopefully, lifting his head from the pillow to address Rex.

Rex shook his head, “We have to wait for Kix to discharge him.”

Fives let out an exasperated sigh and let his head drop back into the pillow dramatically. After a minute of silence, he turned to Echo, his voice soft, “I missed you.”

The corners of Echo’s thin lips quirked up into the image of a smile, but an image was all it was. There was no sincerity to the motion and the smile dissipated quickly, face contorting in pain, or grief, or sadness.

The boy’s mind was elsewhere, his sad eyes darting around the room before drifting back over to study Rex. Rex smiled, though he was afraid his was as empty and meaningless as Echo’s had been, “Uh, Echo, it’s nice to meet you. I’m… I’m Rex.”

Rex cringed at his awkwardness, but he forced himself to gauge the boy’s reaction. There was none. Echo remained still, eyes locked onto his.

Rex broke eye contact, dropping his gaze to the gift bag still clutched in his hand, “Oh, um, Fives, do you want to give your brother his present?”

“Oh, yeah!” Fives jumped off the bed and retrieved the bag, crinkling it around loudly as he climbed back up, kneeling at Echo’s side. He held out the present in front of his brother, “I saw this at the… the gift shop and- and Rex said I could get it for you!”

Echo reached out slowly and took the bag, letting it rest on his chest as he used his remaining arm to attempt to fish out the gift.

Fives watched his twin struggle for a moment before his excitement won out, “It’s a book!”

Echo finally pulled out the book and turned it over, looking at the cover.

“It’s a- a guide book. For Kamino- no, um- Coruscant. That’s where we are!” Fives exclaimed, excitement and his difficulty remembering what Rex had said about the book causing his words to come out breathless.

In Rex’s eyes the book was worthless—a cheap tourists’ guide to Coruscant—but it had been the only book in the gift shop, and Fives had insisted Echo would like it. Who was Rex to dispute his claim?

Echo turned the book over one more time to look at the back and set it down at his side. “Thanks,” he said quietly, looking at Fives before turning his attention to Rex, voice now so soft Rex had to strain to hear it, “Thank you, sir.”

Rex smiled, and this time he was sure it looked genuine, “You’re welcome.”

“Do you like it?” Fives asked, beaming at his brother and bouncing a little on the bed.

Echo nodded, his eyes flicking over to Rex and shoulders tensing.

He was lying.

He was lying and he thought Rex was going to what? Punish him for it? Call him out on it? Make both of them upset?

“Wow,” Fives breathed, flopping back down onto the bed, seemingly oblivious, “I’m so happy to see you.”

“I’m so happy to see you,” Echo repeated, tearing his eyes away from Rex to face his brother.

“Does- Does it hurt?” Fives asked, looking at the places on the sheets where the lumps ended.

“Not really, I’m just tired.”

“Can I see?”

Echo shifted to sit up a bit higher on the pillows and pulled the blankets down. The stumps where his limbs used to be were wrapped up in bandages. His right arm had been cut just above the elbow, his right leg above the knee, and his left leg below the knee. It was a miracle the paramedics had been able to arrive in time to stabilize him before he bled out.

“Not much to see,” Echo rasped, letting out a strangled laugh that quickly morphed into a coughing fit.

Rex rose from his chair instinctively, “We should get you some water.”

Echo flinched back at the sudden movement, screwing his eyes shut, coughing subsiding for a moment to allow a small whimper to escape his throat.

“Okay, okay, I’m sitting down,” Rex slowly lowered himself back into the chair.

Fives hovered over Echo, hands twitching like he wanted to touch him, but he was not sure he should. Instead of offering any sort of physical comfort, Fives opted for verbal, “It’s okay, Rex is nice. He’s nice.”

“He’s nice?” Echo managed weakly, eyes opening a crack.

“Mm-hmm! Nice,” Fives answered cheerily.

Echo began coughing again and it took all of Rex’s strength not to get up from the chair for a second time. There was a glass of water on a tray full of food next to the bed and Rex pointed to it, “Fives, can you get that water for Echo?”

Fives turned and grabbed the cup, pressing it into his twin’s hand. Echo took it and brought it to his mouth, arm trembling under the small amount of weight. Much of the water spilled down the front of the boy’s papery hospital gown and onto the sheets, but Rex was relieved to see him take a few gulps.

Echo passed the glass back to Fives and relaxed back into the pillows, giving out one final cough.

“That feels better, huh?” Rex asked, relaxing back into the chair himself.

Echo blinked, “…feels better?”

“Yeah, doesn’t it?”

The boy slowly nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“You know what else would help you feel better?”

Echo swallowed, his eyes darting over to where Fives sat next to him before returning to stare blankly at Rex, “No, sir.”

“Some food in your tummy,” Rex nodded to the tray of food by Fives.

Fives pushed the tray over to Echo, who shook his head, “I’m alright, sir.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Rex questioned, concern written across his face.

“A bit,” Echo confessed after a moment. The boy dropped his eyes to the bowl of stew and looked at it like it was a cup full of bugs.

“Are you allergic?”

Echo shook his head, still watching his meal with disgust.

“You just don’t like it then?”

The boy shrugged.

“Okay…” Rex mumbled, wracking his brain for a nicer what to ask what the problem with the food was.

It turned out he did not need to.

“So then why won’t you eat it?” Fives asked.

“I…” Echo started, his voice barely audible, “I don’t deserve it.”

Everything stopped for a moment: the beeping of the machines, the little particles dancing in the waning light, even the beating of Rex’s heart. The kid thought he did not deserve hospital food. Hospital food. It brought Rex back to the first night he brought home Fives, when the boy had cried because he was “being too nice” to him.

Vaguely Rex wondered if Echo thought he did not deserve the meal because it was nicer than whatever type of sustenance he was used to, or because he was accustomed to having to work for his food. Neither option made Rex very happy.

In fact, he was angry.

No, angry was not quite right.

He was livid.

Rex gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before his heart exploded with rage. When he opened his eyes he was met with twin sets of chocolate colored irises staring back at him.

His heart melted, “You deserve it, Echo.”

The boy kept his face unnaturally still and Rex wished he could read what was going on under that carefully maintained mask.

“You deserve it,” Rex repeated, louder this time. He looked down at the floor, hoping to hide the sadness in his eyes, “Everyone deserves to be able to eat when they’re hungry.”

The room was silent again. Rex did not dare look up from his shoes. He did not know if he could bear looking into their innocent faces after everything they had been through because of him. Because he had done everything he could to not look back.

If only he had, then he would have found them earlier, before-

“I can eat it,” Echo’s quiet voice cut through Rex’s thoughts.

He snapped his head up to see both boys looking at the tray of food with downcast expressions.

“I’m sorry, sir” Echo muttered, his shoulders tensing, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“What? No, no, I’m not upset,” Rex said, waving his hands around as if that would prove his sincerity. The last thing he wanted was for his boys to be tiptoeing around him and worrying about upsetting him.

The twins looked up at him skeptically.

“Not upset,” Rex reassured, giving them a small smile, “Not upset, just- Hey! I’ve got an idea.”

Echo’s head tilted to the side, one eyebrow cocking up in interest.

Rex turned to Fives, “Hey, bud, are you hungry?”

“Uh-huh?” Fives’ brows crinkled together.

“Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria real quick and get some dinner to bring back here? Then we can all eat together.”

“Okay,” Fives agreed easily, sliding off the bed. Once his feet hit the ground he turned back to his twin, “Okay?”

Echo nodded, “Okay.”

The rest of the evening was spent answering Fives’s one hundred and one questions about the hospital and watching Echo slowly pick at his food long after both Rex and Fives had finished. When he finally pushed it away, he had only gotten through around half, but when Kix came in to say goodbye at the end of his shift, he seemed ecstatic that any of it was gone at all, so Rex counted that as a win.

At around 8 pm both boys were exhausted. Rex was about to suggest that he take Fives home for the night when the boy passed the Coruscant guidebook to his twin, “Can you read to me?”

Echo smiled softly and took the book, sandwiching it between his chest and his hand so he would be able to keep it steady as he read.

There was no way Rex was interrupting this. He leaned back in his chair and listened to Echo rattle off facts about the Bureau of Ships and Services Heritage Museum.

After a few minutes Fives shifted in the bed next to his brother. “Cuddle?” He asked, looking at Echo hopefully.

Echo put down the book for a moment to pat his shoulder, “Here.”

Fives smiled sleepily and inched closer to his twin to rest his head on his shoulder.

Echo resumed reading and in no time at all Fives was asleep. Rex watched as Echo carefully set the book down so as not to disturb his brother. He then pulled the covers up around Fives’s shoulders. As he did, he noticed Rex looking at them and frowned in a silent question.

“You take such good care of your brother,” Rex said softly.

Echo looked down at Fives, a real, true smile spreading across his face, “I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409 @marcadamia

[wolvertooth]

can you plz hate rant about the deadpool & wolverine movie… saw it last week and i didn’t like it all… very refreshing to see that someone shares my opinion lmao

i got u man👍 most of this was in my drafts from after the movie came out, but i just never got around to posting it. i added some other opinions ive had since then, tho theres still a lot ive said over the past month that ive totally forgotten about lol

the intro sequence was fucking HYPE‼️ but then, part way thru the movie, u realize....it doesnt ever hit that same mark again. WHERE TF WAS THE HUGH JACKMAN SONG THEY PROMISED? the trailers showed 95% xmen origins clips. the movie didnt mention it once. no the brothers line doesnt count. false fucking advertising. deadpools sexuality has been confirmed since 2014. and now, 10 years later, its still being reduced to gay jokes. and people still eat it up like its genuine rep.

that guy at the tva who’s whole punchline was that he likes men. why. in 2024. why is that allowed. his whole character was a gay joke. i mean so was deadpool, but this guys whole thing was. That. can i say homophobia? can i say i felt that? is that reasonable? this movie felt like a fundraiser for the future avengers movies to make up for all the recent flops.

i watched this shit twice and yea. i was right. the plot was half assed. once u watch it once, thats it. thats the fun. its all just cameos. the jokes didnt even make me laugh again, since it was majority shock based humor. my second watch thru i was trying not to fall asleep in my chair. the way it lacks plot isnt in the Not Coherent kind of way, but rather 'this couldve been a 40 minute monster of the week episode'....or maybe even a 2 episodes if they wanted to get freaky with it it just felt so separate from the rest of the movies, like it wasnt even a sequel.

literally, the movie begins with them abandoning the previous timeline and wade moving to a new ‘better’ one.....almost like hes moving over to a more sacred timeline.........separate from fox.........which is dumb af cuz the movie couldve been him accepting that whatever happens in ur life u cant go back and change, and u have to make due with the good u already have. the previous movie ended with him having a family, he didnt need a new one. i mean, they did that for logans 'learning moment', why wouldnt that also apply to wade? paradox literally says ‘hey we brought u in cuz the mcu is dying, so u should come over to the sacred timeline’ and then after he changes into his costume THEY CHANGE THE PLOT. THEY THROW THAT OUT. WITHIN MINUTES. now paradox is like ‘actually just your timeline is dying, and i wont elaborate on how that works. and also u dont get to go to the sacred timeline. and i hate you.’ WHY BRING HIM THERE AT ALL THEN IF THATS THE PLOT U CHANGED IT TO? ITS DOESNT MAKE SENSE. even if the plot was that he had to go to the sacred timeline cuz his own was dying, WHY WOULDNT HE BE ABLE TO BRING HIS FRIENDS?

what was the vanessa plot? they never explain why she broke up with him? theres like a tiny flashback where she says hes been distracted ever since he got rejected, rejected from what? clearly not the avengers, since that happens after she leaves him. so wtf was the motive here????? the cameos felt like props. especially the deadpool corps, which i feel like they didnt even skim a wiki article for. they just went off google images. which hurt me. cuz i reallyyyyy like those guys....in the comics, theyre a group of deadpools(consisting of lady deadpool, kidpool, headpool, dogpool, and deadpool), who in their first series save the multiverse from being destroyed(sound familiar?). theyre the GOOD GUYS. why tf would they hear cassandra nova say ‘hey im gonna kill the entire multiverse’ and go ‘alright sure whatever’. why were they in the void to begin with? how’d they get there? isnt the void just for movie continuities anyway? why was cassandra also there? how does the void work? why does the void exist? will someone please explain literally anything in this movie? why not have them come in later to save the fucking day instead??

oh lady deadpool...how they massacred ur character... OH KIDPOOL.....HOW THEY MASSACRED UR CHARACTER...... god speaking of that. cassandra nova had literally so much potential and they watered her down to just Evil Villain. she hasnt done much in the comics, but one the things she did in one them was using her powers for therapy on the xmen(which deadpool also made a cameo in). she sort of does this briefly in that one scene, but it was just so.....basic. bland. why was there no b plot with the rest of the main cast. did they think the audience doesnt watch these movies for them? cuz i sure fucking do. i was waiting for the continuation of colossus and wades epic romance arc. side note, the gay jokes in the previous movies felt even less queerbaity then these ones. this movies queerbaiting was just....sad. marketing queerbaiting. this movie WISHES it couldve been deadpool 2 levels of queerbait(shoutout to the extended sex mimicking scene set to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel)

did anyone catch at the end when deadpool was narrating and when he said ‘friends’ yukio and negasonic teenage warhead were on screen. did anyone see that. they disney gal paled them.

i know wade is supposed to be the Funny Guy but man. thats literally all he was this movie. the other ones has ANGST they had him be HUMAN while this one was like 'logan was mean to me one time ):' bro. what happened. where'd the writers go.

this wolverine was like. the wolverine 2014 wolverine. which is when fox wolverine started to lose character and just become grumpy and mean. hes also like that in Logan 2017, but the reason why this kinda attitude works in that one is bcuz hes old, hes fucked up, hes tired, and every fuck that comes outta his mouth he means it. and yet....still manages to experience other emotions. what a concept. ive read literal satire comics that understood his character more(shoutout to the What The--?! series). it just had me waiting for the 'gotcha! this wolverine is actually 3 dimensional!' but it never fucking got there. it was amusing in the beginning, but by like half way in, i did not give a single fuck about this guy. they tried to give him some emotional moment(like. the only emotional moment in the entire film) but it just...lacked the emotion. just 'heres my sad backstory. are u sad now?' and then they did the SAME THING AGAIN no we get it man u were at the bar instead of with ur friends and u went on a classic wolverine style berserker rage. why should we care tho?

i mean, sure, they could use the excuse of being in the type of depressive state where ur emotions numb out(speaking as a mfer with the came curse), and yea hes not the kinda guy to open up about his emotions unless he really trusts someone(which he would likely distance himself from forming connections with others after that kind of trauma), but with cassandra nova right there there was a missed opportunity for elaborating on that. for digging deep into his brain and telling why this fucked him up so bad. imo, if i were to write it, with everyone he gets close to he puts upon the expectation for himself that hes at fault for anything that happens to them. that he needs to be the savior, even in a friendship. to prove himself to be worth something. especially after a life of being convinced hes a burden by just existing as himself, he needs to have use in order to make up for the fact that hes Logan.

but whos going to save him? isnt he struggling too? whos gonna help you? looking at all the other logans across the multiverse, who is the wolverine? why do you keep falling for the same patterns no matter where you are and who you are? deadpool called sabretooth queen and she/her'd logan within like 5 seconds of eachother. that was pretty good ig

final verdict:

yknow. i think i get now the way fans reacted the way they did tho.

the other night i was rewatching the movie Hackers with my mom, saying that it was obvious the creators mustve known a lot about hacking in order to do such a good parody of it, out of love for the craft….but my knowledge of hacking is pretty minimal, so i have no actual fucking clue if that assumption is accurate or not. im just going off of a ton of references to hacking. for all i know, real hackers couldve hated this movie.

and thats how the average non comic fan saw this movie. they saw a buncha characters and references and thought ‘damn, they must really love the source material’ without knowing how much of a kick in the face it felt like to watch them get used and butchered like that.

[basil-does-arttt]

hold on wait a second i had a thought

in the DLC prolouge cutscene for DMC 5, when Vergil is in that stone passageway area, he says "its nearly time" (in reference to him splitting himself in half).

We know what day it happens, april 30th. The date is shown in Nero's flashback scene. This is of course assuming Vergil did all that on the same day, which i think is what happened. (He could open a portal to his house to travel, and why would he wait any longer and risk dying first?)

Anyway. Thats not my point, my point is: did he choose to do it on this day on purpose? Is this date special?

Im overanalyzing here so this may be a stretch, but: Could that be the day Eva died? Think about it. Him splitting himself was a "rebirth" of sorts: discarding his humanity to become a full demon in search of ultimate power.

Vergil being stabbed by those demons the day Eva died could also be counted as a kind of rebirthing for him: In the span of a few hours, he lost everything. His family, his life. And maybe even, his full humanity, as he gained his DT form in that moment too (shown by him having the same triggered-style eyes Dante uses when threatening V toward the start, also (half)triggered.) No longer was he a mere human boy, but now half a devil - the things that killed his family - too.

Knowing Vergil, it could make sense. In DMC 3 he's quite proper and a bit sentimental, much more so than Dante and i can see him caring more for these kinds of niche details in his life a lot more than Dante too. I also think he may have still been in that mindset when coming out of the Nelo Angelo body (however that happened), in a way that he hasnt really grown or matured while he was Nelo Angelo due to all the mind-fuckery performed thanks to Mundus.

(Could also be clarification for the reason Vergil still looks so young, quote "because of how much time he's spent in the underworld compared to Dante". He didnt live there, certainly not by choice. But he was captured and tortured by Mundus for 10 years. My thoughts is that he's technically still in his teenage body, as becoming Nelo Angelo and being in the underworld for so long thanks to Mundus halted (or at least very significantly slowed) the aging process. Time could move slower in hell but thats a rant for another time, ive gone off track.)

As such, him choosing such a special (traumatic) date to essential commit suicide on doesnt seem like much of a reach to me. Vergil has always been methodic. He doesn't do things hap-hazardly and never has, even as Nelo Angelo when he invites Dante outside to set up a proper fight rather than just taking the opportunity and attacking in the bedroom.

Of course you can argue it was coincidence, and he just stumbled across Nero by chance and decided to do it right then and there. He had to have found Nero first of all, figured out his plan of attack (probably so he wouldnt draw unwanted attention and possibly be stopped), then actually put it into motion. He couldnt exactly control the date Nero happened to be in the right place at the right time and gave him an opening. Im not trying to convince or anything, just sharing ideas, But wouldn't it just be so in character for april 30th to be a special date for him??

Overall i at least think the reason he chose to do it at the house was intentional for reasons stated above. If it wasnt, then why didn't he just... idk, find an alleyway or something and split himself there?

Those are my thoughts. Id love to hear other people's theories and such on this too.

(EDIT: I REALIZED THE MOMENT HE SPLITS HIMSELF ALSO PROBABLY HAPPENS AT A SPECIFIC TIME AS WELL, NAMELY 6:00 PM.

It mustve taken him some time to get back to the house. Not hours, but not seconds. 15 minutes seems like a good amount of travel time for someone who can teleport using portals alongside a bit of walking. If he got there early he could've just waited too.

A specific date, april 30th, and at (likely) exactly 6:00pm. In VOV while it is black and white, i assume the attack happened late into the evening, since the sky is dark when he gets back to the house a bit later. Idk how he would've known that it was exactly 6:00 but... anyway, Mundus also seems like the type of guy to plan shit, especially an attack like he did to Eva and the twins, if that whole "eva died on april 30th" thing was true.)

[preciadosbass]

11/8/24 [PARAGRAPH 3 & 4!!! — draft from sunday. key & significant photo/s at end]

woke up at 10:20 and made myself breakfast. i ate it outside with boris in the sun and tried my best to be productive while being on my phone [e.g, make a fursona/oc/journal entry etc.] but failed miserably. i just scrolled on tiktok and saved a few videos i could use for outfit inspiration. i went back inside after 30+ minutes, got dressed [skinless shirt, dark cargo jorts + matching bracelets consisting of spiked cuffs and band bracelets, motorbike socks] and looked up a couple can tab bracelet tutorials. i know that i don’t have enough for the particular design i want to make, but i’m getting there. my dad’s sister, my aunt, has multiple pepsis a day and has been collecting can tabs for me.

i went back next door with my sister after giving up on the bracelet for the moment and saying goodbye to boris. when i arrived i just sat on my own while my sister went on the swings. a group of girls my age walked past and laughed at me and after a few minutes i got called over with the other kids to make a keyring. i honestly much preferred that but i think the staff thought i was a part of the actual camp anyways so i don’t think i had much choice either way. i picked out a star shaped template and a blue floral sticker to go on it. i stuck it on, but couldn’t cut around the star completely — so i put it in my bag for another time at home where i can use one of those tiny knives to carve all the imperfections out.

once id done i went back over to the bouncy castle. this time round, only 8 people were allowed on it at a time and this younger girl was being really bratty about it, as in acting like she owned the place, which was odd, because yesterday it was fine and nothing bad happened. but kids are just like that. she kept on going around to people and launching herself onto them, she also decided to boot me over and over again on my bruised shin which was fun 😭. i tried telling her we don’t even know eachother and ive just been sitting there but she didn’t care. she kicked me and almost everyone else off using her sister that was my age so i got off and just sat beside it while people watching.

the same member of staff from the keyrings sat next to me and just exclaimed ‘panic! at the disco?’ — reffering to my panic! band bracelet. i nodded and she started speaking about liking that type of music too. more when she was younger, but she’s still into it, she said. she took out her phone and started asking me if i’ve been to see any live bands. i told her about me seeing the mcr + fall out boy tributes, pierce the veil, cavalera conspiracy, and my upcoming concerts. [slipknot, falling in reverse, possibly the tributes again but idk was its the day before fir]. she started speaking about how she has family in scotland and therefor goes to festivals there a lot and then casually says she’s seen fall out boy 4+ TIMES??? i literally could’ve curled up and died right there and then after hearing that come out of her mouth.

she also spoke to me about seeing slipknot 20 years ago, and then she showed me one of her friends instagram pages. then she came out with that that friend, has another friend, who is the sibling of someone from PIERCE THE VEIL?? WHAT THE FUCK. i was so taken aback but she unfortunately couldn’t remember what their name was because they were told years ago now — and she couldn’t find pictures of them together despite trying as the friend is a concert photographer and it’s importable to sort through the thousands of photos.

i out of interest asked if she’d seen linkin park and she said she did at milton keynes in 2008?? with jayZ?? RAAA. i got told that everyone was leaving in 30 minutes so i stayed speaking to her until people started loading themselves onto their coach and i set off for home. it was really cool speaking to that woman and its a shame i’ll probably never see her again or get to know any more info. although it was awesome meeting someone like me that was quite a lot older. when i got home i fussed boris on the driveway and had a 20 minute nap before leaving for my other aunts house [6pm]. i said goodbye to boris, and on the way to the car, my dad showed me this injured butterfly. it was a shame because it looked so young. i held it and then placed it onto a bush before leaving. [photo at end]

since the concert, i’ve been listening to the setlist on repeat. so i obviously did even more on the way to my aunts, although the drive is really short. once i got there i stayed in the living room for a bit and greeted the family of mine that was there. there was only my grandad, his fiancé, my aunt + uncle, and one of my cousins girlfriends there. that cousin in question is on holiday, the other moved out, and the other also moved out. i didn’t really know what to speak about and my parents sparked a conversation between the others anyway so i went to see what my sister was up to. she was playing fnaf security breach so i watched her.

i had my phone out ready to record her getting jumpscared and i caught a video of her doing exactly that over moondrop. i’m surprised that i’ve never watched anyone play security breach before even though i was really excited when it came out. i don’t usually watch my sister play stuff unless it’s the last of us/the evil within/silent hill at 8:30 i stopped watching jay and went for a walk with my mum, dad, aunt, + grandads fiancé. [+ archie and my aunts dog, charlie.] we couldn’t be too long because charlie has bad diabetes and can’t do much now. we came across one of my aunts friends on our way, she accidentally called me he and didn’t correct herself which made me feel SO euphoric considering i’m not out.

she spoke about lifeguarding or something and once done, we went round to this field i used to always play in as a kid. i went in the park to spark some nostalgia and my dad pushed me on a swing for the first time since i was like 7. we walked for about 40 minutes. once i got back to my aunts i went on pinterest to look at some diys. i saved a photo example of how to make a can tab bracelet, a cardboard minecraft sword, a cardboard coffin shelf, a little fairy/elf house thing made up of pebbles, a cardboard direction sign, a bottlecap tortoise, and a number of other things i dont know how to explain. after i couldnt seem to find anything else, i watched my sister play fnaf a bit more. we had to leave so i stopped and got ready for home at 12.

i don’t really remember what i did when i got home, but it would’ve been the same as always. maybe a small nap, then obviously questions about boris, then i say goodnight to boris. i went to sleep at 3.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/my family’s dog

have a good day/night O_o

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/763022039299866624/im-convinced-that-all-the-girls-dating-rat-looking

I AGREE I AGREE GODDDD I AGREE SO BADLY

nevermind looks— i could personally fall for almost anyone’s looks because imo if i am attracted enough to a person, i in turn find their PHYSICAL self attractive too, even if it isn’t what i would immediately list as an “ideal” type

i hate when people say oh hes so cool, im attracted to him because of his taste in this and that and his cool music taste, film taste, and whatever. and just that. like what about kindness and gentleness and the way they speak to you or address your issues??

like once youre dating i think its okay to say oh i like my partner’s taste in x and y but to say that you’re fully and WHOLLY attracted to someone only because of that is insane to me. for your only measure of attractiveness in a person to be their taste and style is actually crazy.

i might never listen to classical music but i could 100% date someone who only listens to that provided that i like their character and personality and the way they treat me.

ive just been thinking alot recently about what i would actually want in a relationship and this also recently irritated me a little because of something my friend said so 😶😶

okay but also honest question, because i recently discovered this about myself. i realised something that is insanely important to me in a relationship is that my partner trusts me. which ofc sounds basic, but as someone who is psychic and always has premonition dreams/accurate gut feelings/blatant episodes of zoning out and seeing/hearing things that end up to be true, i need someone who won’t instantly dismiss my feelings about things like that. ive had an instance where i cancelled events 10 minutes before only for there to be a news headline a few hours later about a near fatal accident on the road i was about to take, or even just moving away from someone on the bus only to see the news THREE whole years later about the fact that that person was a certified pedo/molestor (this was when i was still underaged and in school)

i think even if my feelings seem wild at times or insane i need someone who would validate it because i would never bring it up unless unbelievably necessary. and even if nothing horrible happens i just need that faith in me yk? i may have an anxiety disorder but despite that, and even if my other person isnt spiritual or whatever i need them to just understand and just not do a certain things if i desperately bring it up

id never abuse that power but yk? i needed to ask if you felt the same way because i have no one else to talk to about this

- mother anon

GIRLLLL

the looks part and the taste part were two separate thoughts but i just felt like posting them together 🤐

i 100% agree that its possible to be attracted to just about anyone regardless of what they look like BUT i hate the current trend of girls obsessing over rat looking men

like ALL of these dudes are shady asf and known for being assholes. so its not like their personality is so exemplary that their looks are justified 💀💀

i genuinely 100% don't believe that relationships work unless both people are physically in the same "range" or one person is like a high average and the other person is absolutely stunning. i know i probably sound superficial asf BUT I PROMISE YALL, issues WILL creep up and eventually being mismatched WILL cause tension. no man will ever date someone beneath them but women always go for nasty rodent looking men bc they think those dudes will make more of an effort or appreciate them more 💀and these dudes are often WAYYY worse than the chad guy

now about style & taste:

i think its very middle school-y to be attracted to someone based on their fav band or sneaker collection or whatever tf ,,like i genuinely couldnt give less of a fck about that shit.

whenever i meet a guy, the FIRST thing i look for is how chivalrous he is.

and the girls who say they dont care about "chivalry" bc their independent girlbosses are missing out bc fun fact if ur man isn't taking care of u or being a gentleman, he DOES NOT GAF ABOUT U. if ur 2 buddies hanging out, he will treat u the way he treats his homies :/ so if u want to be toughened out like a pal, then u go sis

he better be opening every door, holding my bag/offering to, trying to make me feel comfortable in whatever way he can, giving me napkins, passing me things, paying the bill, bringing me flowers, just being very socially conscious (???) of having a woman around. i remember the first night my bf and i were hanging out, we went to get ice cream for me 🥺and it was past 1 am and he asked me if i wanted to stay there and have it or have it in the car

(for context: i live in india and night life is not much a thing here, this ice cream parlour was the only one open in the area and the crowd was entirely male and they were all staring at me)

and i said i'll have it in the car 🥺🥺like ive been on dates with men who dont pay attention to this kinda stuff. i get catcalled and they dont notice. someone gives me nasty looks and they do nothing. what made me like my now bf right away was how protective he was of me and i know that its how he would treat ANY woman in that situation.

i dont really share my spiritual/astro side with many people. most ppl close to me are aware of it to some extent but in different capacities. some ppl think its more of an intellectual interest bc ive studied buddhism, taoism etc practice yoga (practicing yoga is very common in India bc its literally an Indian thing) and ive never really sought acceptance or understanding of this sort from a romantic partner although 2/4 of my bfs have known that i do tarot and astrology etc

my current partner is an agnostic-atheist and he's spooked out by all the "witchiness" but at the same time, he's really excited about it and brags to people that he's dating a "witch" 😭😭😭🤣

i havent had experiences of the kind you're describing in recent memory but if it were to happen id like for my person to believe me and respect it 🥺

i think there is a cultural difference between us regarding this because what you've described as having visions or gut feelings or being intuitive is veryyyy culturally accepted in India and nobody will bat an eye about it. so its not as isolating or confusing as trying to explain to a bunch of westerners that you "have a bad feeling" regarding something.

[intertexts]

oh god i just realized I forgot to send you this. behold: the worst trivia ask out of all of them:

EPISODE 22 TRIVIA:

- they spend the first. 9 whole minutes talking about the logistics of snapping someones neck irl only to learn that its not actually possible and thats just something that was make up for movies

- "this is the most guy talk we've ever had at the beginning of a rolled. i feel like we need a trigger warning for boys"

- bizly wanted them seeing tide again to feel awkward and weird! like you're going back to your parents house after not seeing them for a really long time

- talking about how dakota has so many parental figures now and grizzly goes "except for ms. g. she has my whole heart" and WITHOUT missing a beat charlie goes "no. *i* have your whole heart"

- there was apparently a group of people on twitter who made a VERY long VERY well researched document about how all the medical stuff esp involving william would work and kept tagging bizly in posts asking how things would work and hes like "man i dont know!! i write a silly superhero show im not a doctor! it all comes down to his parents built a very strange machine that was designed to view worlds unseen!" (<< quoting the dp theme song in the most EXASPERATED voice possible.)

- "WILLIAM WISP SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN WORMS IN HIM. if we were playing this realistically william would be fuckin LOCKED UP with rigor mortis and COVERED in worms and FULL OF GASSES. he should be FOUL. and FULL OF WORMS. and I DONT WANT THAT" << hes a coward for this. btw. i feel like william should be grosser

- they just keep saying more things about how william should be so grotesque. at one point charlie goes "please dont draw this. its so gross". me, looks at my 4/7 jrwi freak week canvases that are william wisp themed. um. well.

- WARM BODIES MENTION. i love that movie. charlies like "thats how i want william to work hes undead but hes like. pretty about it"

- bizly: "because we've already explored this plot thread of William Being Dead so much, i dont want him getting a heart to just automatically fix that. its not like hes just magically alive now. i havent thought of the exact consequences yet but i want there to be some drawbacks to this to keep things interesting"

charlie: "william is just thrilled right now to be feeling stuff. i dont think hes considering the possible drawbacks"

- "ive never been prouder of any of my characters than when william wisp dented drywall"

- "why didnt vyncent get a fun surgery too" "because I'm a coward"

- they were on some absolutely insane energy for this rolled they keep going on like 5-10 minute long tangents and BARELY talk about the episode other than to mention how william should be a rotting corpse. I REMEMBER NOW that this was a SIGNIFICANT factor in my being frustrated with the heart surgery thing LMAO

- THATS IT. THATS LITERALLY IT. THE ROLLED IS OVER NOW. THIS WAS NOTHING !!!!!

TERRIBLE rolled youre right!!!!! help!!! this is so funny. great rolled guys lets wrap it up. william should be wormy and u cant snap peoples necks. good job everybody. it is really funny to me that people were... expecting medical accuracy?? how do u really seriously research putting one guys heart and another guys blood inside a body that's been dead for several years. frankly i would love to see it i'm very curious.

LOWKEY I'M GLAD HE *ISN'T* A BLOATED LOCKED UP DECAYING CORPSE!!!!! PERSONALLY!!!! i fully respect ur rights and taste to think he should be rotting and worm filled and stinky but frankly i'm on charlies side w this one. hes undead and pretty about it <33

anyway. i still have many thoughts about wiwi's soul/body/wisp relationship that i will NOT start talking about now because it would get LONG. but. its always great hearing their thoughts on it. eyes emoji. but yeah i really don't want him to be just magically fixed and alive now.... we'll see!! we'll see how it goes!!!!

[foxluvrz]

MAJOR YAP SESH AHEAD DONT MIND THIS I JUST WANTED TO PUT IT HEAR MY GOD

10/15/24

YIPPEE DUDE ���� decided to create a seating chart for his social studies and math class and before the seating that me n my friend L had always sat up front in thr class cuz theres like two seats at the very front of the class n stuff idk his layouts weird, but he moved EVERYONE ELSE around the room except us so me n her are still seated up front and its silly cuz he usually picks on us and we joke around and what not :3 Also i was literally BETTING in my head that he wasnt gonna move my seat from where i had sat originally and i was right LMAO (hes actually so handsome up closer bro...)

also i might literally idk IMPLODE because we have a four day weekend cuz of conferences on thurs and friday i might actually die without seeing 🦔 or 🐢 😭😭. ive been begging my mom to take a few of my friends and I to an escape room where 🦔 works parttime on fridays at just because i want to see him i dont think my obsession with him has gotten any better especially because of where i sit now ☹️ IM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT WHERE I SIT NOW THOUGH!! also i like NEED to prove myself to 🦔 in some way i think because my ela teacher mrs W is actually so nice to me and like trusts me and she always has me do stuff she needs help with for her and what not and puts responsibility on me for (i dont mind at all), and same kind of mostly with 🐢, but never 🦔. i mean like i dont see him too much during the day except math n ela and im not super close w him bcz i had 🐢 all of last year and mrs w for study hall last year, but like i just met this man this year but like other girls in my grade have gotten super close to him and it makes me slightly jealous😔 ANYWAYS LIKE 🦔 TAPPED ME ON THE BACK LIKE TWICE TODAY WHICH IDK SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME AND I THINK IM OVERANLYZING THIS BUT LIKE once it was with the paper he was holding for the seating chart and honestly he tapped me with that pretty hard and then the second time during ss it was like with his hand because when he was speaking about the seating chart for that class and he got to my seat he was like "hey (my name), i need to talk to you about something in a few minutes" while like touching my back a little bit NOT IN A WEIRD WAY OBVIOUSLY AND HE JUST WANTED TO TALK ABOUT A SPEECH THING IM DOING AND TO TELL ME TO GO TO ANOTHER TEACHER DURING THIS PERIOD BUT LIKE fr im both overreacting AND overyapping but i NEED to yap about this to someone or something like guys.. ALSO BEING UPCLOSE TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM IS SORTA SCARY BECAUSE HE USES OUR DESK TO LIKE SET HIS EXTRA PAPERS ON AND TO LIKE TAP THEM ON THE DESK TO KEEP EM STRAIGHT AND HE DOES IT KINDS HARD AND IT SCARES ME SO BADLY SOMETIMES. but this mans hands r like rlly hot IM SORRY somebody SEDATE MEEEE PLEASEEEE OH MY LORD. ALSO WHEN HE LIKE CAME LIKE KINDA CLOSE TO LIKE MY NECK TO WHISPER TO ME ABOUT THE SPEECH THING WHEN EVERYONE WAS QUIET AND IT WAS SUPER DARK IN THE ROOM HOLY SHNIDER

[wookofwallst]

(Article) Hellboy: Web of Wyrd looks like a nominee for Worst Game of the Year.

The year 2023 will go down as one of the best years in gaming ever! With such bangers as Zelda TOTK, Diablo IV, Baldurs Gate 3, Armored Core 6, Lies of P, and Starfield already out as of this article on 9/21/23.

But we are still set up to have even more great games like Lord's of the Fallen, Cyberpunk: Phantom Liberty DLC, Spider-Man 2, and Alan Wake 2. This year, we have been graced by the gaming gods with bountiful RPGs and hours and hours of content to try and sift through.

But you can't know what a great game is without knowing what a just terrible game is. In the running for Worst Game of the Year, we have Lord of the Rings: Gollum, Redfall, Mortal Combat on the Nintendo Switch, and the newest entry Hellboy: Web of Wyrd.

Ign just released 16 minutes of this game, and it looks like nightmare fuel . The new roguelike to hit the hard drives on 10/4 has an interesting art style, it looks like a comic book page that was coloured that's really about all I can say is good about it.

Where do I begin to list the issues? Let's start off with some basic ones. Movement looks slow, clunky, and overall bad. The movement animation makes you feel like Hellboy has never walked or ran before. Like a lumbering giant that should be screaming "FE FI FO FUM"

The movement bleeds into the combat. It's mostly punches with the occasional gunshot, or I think it was a parry or stun mechanic. Your dodges are a little bit quicker, but with the enemies you're fighting moving somehow even slower than you, I can see it being harder to dodge.

Let's talk about the enemies that were previewed. Brown blob #1 and brown blob #2. Oh, but wait, there's also a white stick figure blob that looks like it attacks you sometimes!

Let me tell you, it's such riveting gameplay that you'll have to hold onto your seat because all of these enemies attack you... one at a time. If you lock on to an enemy in the room you're in the others will happily stand back and watch you mercilessly beat one enemy after another.

The game looks like if you told someone about the game Hades and then left out all the cool stuff and put Hellboy in it instead. I have no idea how Dark Horse Comics authorized this blasphemy. This is rough, and I assume it will be down there with the worst of the worst in 2023.

Do you have a game that should be on this list? If you had your choice of Worst Game of the Year, what would it be? What are you playing right now? Is it something I should check out? Let me know! I'd love to hear from you!

You can catch live on Twitch every weekday from 8pm-12am. I'd love to see you there! The link is posted below!

[red-dyed-sarumane]

what if i went off about some of my favorite songs ever

kyuuyaku hankagai - hiiragi magnetite: everyone knows i love this. i just love everything about it. we really get both sides of the picture story wise with it- both the fact the world is literally, physically getting destroyed, and all of the mental torment the characters are dealing with. it still has that magu series weird wording but it gets everything across that it needs to. the instrumental is just as heavy as the scenario with added dramatics in parts that really make it for me. all the long notes to simulate screaming. the seamless addition of both the nami no ne no & rute furute woa motifs (& a possible 3rd? theres still parts in here i cant figure out yet) makes me so emotional. if u have no idea about the series its still a solid song. 10000/10 i cannot fully express my love for this song in words i just need it on repeat full volume for weeks on end.

ai wo - null: impossible for me to explain why i love this so much without oversharing. i keep telling myself not to rank this song so high but ive never felt so seen before. null's lyrics are both poetic & still hit every raw emotion where it hurts. the whole being left alone ur whole life & wishing it wasnt that way, that everything wasnt so empty, that someone could love u the way u need & never got. i want everyone to hear this song and i also want to gatekeep it. it became so important to me in such a short time & itll be hard to ever rival it

arikitari heroes - 150suzu: im not immune to nostalgia. shuuenpro is executed entirely different to aru sekai series & i have to judge from entirely different criteria & that said i really always loved how this one sort of summarized the series in a way that highlighted all the strife in it & made it subjective rather than an objective summary. the chorus is so high its like theyre crying out which fits entirely. i still have the video embedded in my mind & its been a hot minute since ive watched it. my teenage self thought it was so deep & even with a different perspective now i cant entirely discount those feelings. anyway i still really love it i could still listen to it for weeks on end if i wasnt busy keeping up with other things. i do not say it lightly when i say this is the song i have listened to the most in my entire life i used to spend Months straight listening to it. beloved.

tachiiri kinshi - mafumafu: i was sooooooo normal about this in high school (lying). its still high on my list of breakdown songs. like damn its been 8 years and it still holds up the same. between this & ai wo that just gives away 90% of my problems. imagine solving isolation by letting people in cant be me. anyway i was obsessed with drawing the girl from the video for a while idk how many doodles i still have left but she was Everywhere on my school work. normal person behavior.

jishou mushoku - nekobolo: song that has pulled the most weight in keeping me alive. where would i be without it. sometimes the mood is so bad this is still the only thing i can listen to some days.

rokuchounen to ichiya monogatari - kemu: the real reason i fell down the voca rabbit hole. still adore the song & find it hugely nostalgic, but there was a reason i connected with it when i was younger & being able to recognize how fucked up that was makes it also a painful reminder id rather bury. song fucks tho love how every rhythm game its in will destroy u trying to play it.

konmei no aji - savasti: regardless of the real meaning of the song this will always be a dissociation song to me not in the sense it makes me dissociate but rather in the spaceyness & disconnect it reminds me of the feeling but in a safer way to deal with it. personally i prefer rire's cover

taishou x - yurry canon: u will appreciate this song now right now its so under appreciated for a yurry canon song. god the fucking "i'm still living the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. as it is i will never be you. theres no reason in living, but just the same theres no point in dying is there?" [punching a wall] i like it a normal amount

kaiko no kanmuri - dopam!ne: god this song fucks so hard and yet its still edgy. i dont even really know how to explain what i feel with this one beyond i love it. its a kind of waiting for the right time to strike for revenge kinda song? idk its my absolute fave dopam!ne song i love a lot of his songs but this one just really does it for me

haru no sekibaku - inaba kumori: kutabireta atashi ga dame dattan da ne. yeah. the overall mood of this song hits just right all too often. sorry lag train this is the defining inabakumori song to me.

hyperlexia - yamaji: the space in this one also gives me a sense of vague dissociation. i just really love the whole reading between the lines not going to fall for lies anymore mood its got going on. a misguided sense of personal revolution that probably wont end in anything meaningful but i particularly like the song.

[1-sasha-stuff-1]

Chapter 10: Reality Check

A/n: 

I'm back! I hope you like this chapter! (I kind of rushed it so beware of any mistakes in this chapter)

| | | | | |

Opening her eyes, she sees that she’s in the same room from a couple months ago. The only difference was that she could turn her head ever so slightly to the left and the right. 

Staring at the white walls around her, she decided to turn her head to the left, as she did, she saw a blur of f/f, or what happened to resemble them.

She really didn’t know. 

Her eyes then moved towards the all too familiar balcony farther away from where she layed, she stared at the rocking chair that was there, rocking by itself.

Probably the wind.

A gasp was heard, so she turned towards the noise on her right and saw a blurry figure. It seemed to have been a woman, based on the white shirt that matched with her blouse and hat with a singular red shape on it.

The lady seemed to have lost all feeling in her hands because the tray that once was in her hands seemed to have dropped to the floor causing a loud thud.

As the two females looked at each other, one eye wide while the other had her eyes half open, the girl that played in the hospital bed could only feel a sense of relief on not being abandoned once more. 

The older lady seemed to have had a different reaction though, as she spun on her heel, turned around and ran out the door as she shut it right behind her. 

The room was silent once more until the sound of sheets ruffling was heard and the bed squeaking as the younger girl stood up from the bed. She pulled out the remaining IV’s that were attached to her and shuffled herself towards the door that the lady had walked out just moments before. 

Hand on the doorknob, she looked back to see the balcony and the rocking chair, that now laid still.

Sighing, she opened the door and walked out into the blinding light.

| | |

| | | 

It took her some time for her eyes to become adjusted to the light in the hallway.

About five minutes have passed or so (an hour in the mindset for Y/n) after she had walked out of that suffocating room and into the never ending white and bright hallway.

Passing through the hallway, she looked at the doors on either side of her. Each had some blurry words written on them, names to be specific. 

Walking for what seemed like forever, a pang of pain hit her, specifically her head. It started out small, but the pain soon increased from a faint poke to a loud thud-like noise. 

Now leaning against a wall for support, she brought her hands to both sides of her head to try and stop the pain.

Spoiler: It didn’t work.

Kneeling on the floor while resting her body on the wall, she started to breath rapidly as the pain went on in her head.

Thud

“Make it stop damn it!”

She yelled out as the pain only increased.

Thud

Tears gathering in her eyes, her body started to shake uncontrollably as she called out for help.

“H-Hey?! Someone, help! Please! I-I…...”

Vision begins to blur, tears streaming down her s/c, and the pain still increases.

Thud

Only barely being able to hear anything other than the loud thud, the sound of multiple footsteps could be heard from behind her and soon enough, three nurses came into her blurry line of vision as one of them crouched down to her level, hands on her shoulders. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, okay? Can you nod for me?”

Nodding, you look at the women, your vision finally becoming slightly clearer. 

The nurse in front of you has a slightly darker skin tone with bright brown eyes and beautiful curly hair the color of obsidian. 

“Okay, that’s good. Stay with us yea? Mark, go get Dr. Pepper, tell her that patient…...”

She takes your hand and looks at the wrist band with a bunch of numbers on it.

“Patient 864, tell her it’s urgent.”

Whoever Mark was heard running in the opposite direction from where you were heading towards. As they left, you began to see different black shapes in your line of vision as your eyes started too slightly close. 

The nurse noticed and made you lean against the wall while slowly tapping your cheek, trying to keep you conscious.

“Hey now, don’t you sleep on me kid, wake up.”

Nodding, you tried to keep your eyes open and head up but failed to do so. 

As the nurse kept tapping your face, a bit harder this time to try and keep you awake, your eyes finally closed as you had only one thought in mind.

“I don’t want to be alone again….”

|

| | “Hey girl, wake up, don’t leave me hanging here!” | |

| “-id wake up, will ya?”

| | | “-Pepper, she just keeps going in and out of-”

| | | “-think I’ll take the young lady to the hospital, you did mention she had an injury young man, correct?”

| | |

“-need you awake, please, your family needs you, hold on-”

“-young lady, wake up, your friend here needs you-”

W̴̨̨̢̢̢̡̡̢̢̡̧̡̧̡̧̧̡̡̡̡̛̛̛̛̛̛͉̼͙̘̟̘̬̥̹̜͇̹̦̣̦͚̯̞̜̹̻̙͔̠͉̳͓͙̳̤̬̗̳̞͖͖̰̼̜̲̥͕̭̦̤̜̠̜̻̦͔̟̭̗̰̗͍͓̯̞̬̤͖͙͙̙̫̭̗̮̣̹͍͓̬̙̻̣̮̪͉͓͓͓̮̠̩͙̻͚̝͉̯̗͎͓̠̫͕̯͕̫̣̺̻̭̘̲̭̝͚̥͖̜̱̼̤̬̺̩̙̮̱̲͙̩͕̠͓̹̮͎̼͖͙͙̜̰͍̪̣̲̝̫̼̯̦̫̟̹̹͓̦̟͖̺̟̫͈̠̝̫͓̘͚̱̜̝̣̬͚̥͖̯̜͍͈͍̗̣̠̰͈̠̞̙̝̳̮̙̦̪̥͎̯̰͈̤̍͋̏̾̄̔̍̒̆͒͊͂͐̓̑̎͌̔̍͐̈͗̊̀͗́͒̅͑̈́͌͑̈́̇͂̂̾̍̂͂̄̄͒̾̿͒̒͛͌̓̓̐̈́̿͑̂͋̋̑̾͆̽̿̊̎̏̏̏̔́̀̑̈́̾̀̿͐͗͂͂͂̋̐̅͋̓̃̽̍̈́̍͊̈̊̈̄͊̐͛̑̄̽́̋͑́̓̅̽̇̈̿͆̂͒̽̐̍̏̒͐̃̋̐͑̊̀́̽̊̈́̌̓̽͗́͂̾́͒́̀́͛̉͗͛͂̓́̈͗͂͛̅̾̓̏̇̈́̄͛̍̿̈̓̏̀̉͛́͊̀̀̍̐͒̂̒̓̓̌̈̓̈́̌̎̽̈̔̿̒̅̍̍̈̊̀̃̎̾̀͊̍̏͒̎̚͘̕̕̚̚͘̚͘̚̕͘̚̚̚͘͘͘͘͘͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅa̷̢̨̡̢̨̢̨̨̧̤̥̮̘̥̘͍͚̞͍̻̼̦͖̩̠̙̩̮̼̯͉͉͙͔̝͓̲̰͚̗̙͖̬̖͍̙̲̺̾̐̾͛͛̏̄̓̀̊̇̂̓̒́̋̓͊̔̉̔̀̎̉̿̈̔̐̑́̀̀͑͐͐̾̍͂̃͆̔͐̆̆̑́̃̔͋́̊̌̏̒͋̐̃̒̀̚͘̕̕̚͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͝ͅķ̴̨̢̨̢̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̯͖̝̗̞̼̥̬̪̭̩͈̘̩͈̭̥̫̼̣͇͖̫͚̥͎͍̱̗̪̙̲̥͈̦̥̗͔̥̥̟̥̹̮̝̼̰̦͈̫̹̞̝̟̪͓̯̼̗̺̩͕̬͔͓͖̟͓̤͎̘̺̻͚̰̭̫͍̗̠͈̥̟̥͔͕͚͎͍̱͓̱̖̼̠͓̖̞̙͓̦̩̻̜̤̬͖̳̗͖̹̩͈̪̬̦̮͔̜̼̖̪͕̼͉̯̤͓͙͉̰̜̼͔͎̜̫̟̤͐̊̍̂̀̇̒͊̋̂̈́͒̾̓̐̾͊͑̓̊͊̐͛͌̀͒̂̓̂̈͊̇͒̃̊͑͋̔̄͗̎̂͐̐͌̒̉̈́̾́̿͋͒͋͐̂̒̊̾̅̉̓̀̄̑̔͊̈́̒̓͗̊́̈́͛̐͗́̿̉͒͐͋̌̇͋͌̓̈̉̂̀̊̈́̐̅̈́̑̀͌̍̋̊͆͊̃̽̀̂͛̈̓͂͌̂̊̌̄̈́̀̍̉͛̽̈͊͗̃͋̉̿̾̃̋͌̆̃̓̒̀͂͆͛͊̐͗̐̈́̈́͗̓̀̔̈̕̕̚͘̕̕̕͘̚͜͝͠͠͠͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͠è̶̢̢̡̢̧͍̘̝͖̪͚͍͉̺̱͇̗̠̯̬̩͔̫̘̼̼̱̮̻̣̦͔̼̯̫̯̪̭͇̳̯̟̱̙̬̜̜̰͖̯͔̖͙͚͇̮̲̠͉̭̮̺͎̣̥̦͇̤̻͓̘̙̙̖̪̝̥̦̹̪͎̩̖͕̻̣̯͈̼̘͖̩̥̳͇̺̲̝̠̲̫̀̐̀̽̑̈́̅̂͑̿̊̔̒́̂̔̀̿͋̋̄͒̀͐̑͊̃́̈͂͆̈̈́̅̈́͗͊̂̃͂̅̈́̚͜͠͝ͅͅͅ ̶̧̢̧̧̡̨̢̧̡̨̡̢̢̡̧̧̨̧̡̨̨̢̨̨̡̧̧̧̛̛̛̥̮̳͉̖̰͇̪̠͇͚͉̞̟̞̘͚̫̥͖̖͙̝̱͉̦͇̥̝͕̹̲̝̭̲͖̗̺̱̦̰̪͚͖̩͙͙̩̹̲͇̳̮̗̮͓̲̥̺̣̰̜͓̯͎̠̠͍͍͕̘͔͇̗̭̠̟̺͙̣͇̝̟̮͕͙̭͕̟̹̠̱̱̗̯̩͈̪͎̥̲̦̪͍̹͓̝̪̬̥̜͈̘̯̹̫̜̣̹̙̫̗̦̫̭̟̥̩͓̞̯̬͇̯̘̪̤̻̖͉͖̗̜̜̖̩̙̺̪͉͕̭̩̭͍̱̠͉͖̥̜̖͇̞̺͉̘̰̺͎̩̫͇͚̰͍̟̞̟̱̮̜̫͕͈̥̝͈͔̺̹̻͔̮̥̲̼̟̻̫̩̫̬̺̞͍̲̮̰͔̗̜̗̱͕̎͑̏̔̂̅̂͑̈́͋́̎͆̀̀͑̌̑̋̈́͛̈̈́̀̃̃̐̏̈̎͌͛̈́̈́͑͂͐̎̾̈́̂͐̓̋̈́̉̋̌̒̌̿͌́̅̇̐̂͐̒͌̈́̈́̑̿̄̆͂̇̾̇͛͂͆̈́͛͋͛͆͛̋͑̀̌̐̔͑̾̐̑̌͂̿̉̉͂͋͂͆͂͐̉̄͂̾͌̂̾̽͐̋̔͐̌̎̀̍̈́̐̂̏̀̎̔̂͗̾͊͆̊͛̈̃̄̋̌̓̾̃̓̈́̊̏̃̆͆̌̽̄̽̒́̀̀͗͋͌͋͑̀̍́̒̂̉̀̈́̀̋͛̊͆͆́̓̇̏̅̋͂̌̈́͛̃̋̈̆́̏̆̎͂̏̂͗̃͊̄̄́̂͆͊̀̋̚̕̚̚̕̕̚̚͘͘̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅų̴̡̧̢̢̨̢̢̡̢̢̛̛̛̛̛̯̗̼̞̖̙͎͚͉͉̬̺̟̭̫̖̩͖̩̘͚̥̠͖̖̖̫̦͙̩̺̞͙̭̖̘͕̲̦͖͎̯̲̠̪̱̬̗̝͔͖̳̥̮̪̠͓̟̱̭̼̲͙̹̤̼̑͗̇̔͒̇̈̉̉̀̋̈́̔̒͗̈́͛̀̀̑͑̋͒̈̆̋̈̈́̿́͒̌̊͊̎̈́̄͌̌̍̌̈́́̃́̈̃̑͋̒̽͌̏̆͗̋̅̀̿̈́̍̅͊͆̿̿̓̍̐̃̇̓̏̀̃̈͐̃͐̓̒̀̀̉͗̑̓͛͒̀͆̽̾̀̾́̌̇̃̿̉̂̾͊̄̽̇̒͒̿̌͛̂̏͆̈́̔͊͋̐̈́͊��͗̆͌̓̔̈́̋̑̑͘̚͘͘͘̕͘̚̕͘̕̕̕͘̚͜͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅp̴̢̢̡̢͈̤̪̦̟͕̠̫͚̺̥̯̭̠̥̱̜̯̮̜͓̖̬̞̹̠̼̝̤̲̘̱̲̤̙̪͍̪̝̰̝͇̻͇͉̱͇̮̦̫̯̝͉͓̱̩̬̭̠̖̹̭̤̫̳͕͚̩̞͗͑̍͆̍͊̉̏̆̑̎́͂͛̓̌̆̈͒̐̓͋̇́̄́͋̿̀̿͊̓͌͌̒̀̏̐͑̿̃̽̄͗͌̓̒̆́̑͆̚̚͜͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ.̵̡̡̢̢̡̧̨̡̧̧̨̨̡̛̛͚̣̬͙̯̼̰͔͙̳͈͇͍̟̪͍͕̮͈̝̟̬̥̬̩̪̜͓̝̭̟̖̰̳̭̠̻͓̥̭̗͖͙̲͇͇̮͙͙͍̫͓̮̙̤̤̟̳̩̭͍̣̣͉̼̼̠̙̦͍̖̥̬̫̝̻̮͙̩͔̹̝̹̹̣̺̞̜̣̜͔̺͍̭̹̱͙̼̻͔̬̻̞̱̥̦̠͔͍̫̮̦̠͓̠̫̥̺̬̻͖̦̺̝͕̣̘͕̯̺͓̭͕̜͍̹͉̗̠̲̼̭̻̬̟̩̱̞̲͚̲͓̣̻̫̯̱̮͍̼͚͔̗̣̰̰̖̣̞̟̙͉̬̻͖̪̹̤̗͇̥͋̓̾̊̎̾̋̀̊̈́̋̎̈́̋̍͛̃̐̂͛̑̐̔̎̔̆̐̑̑̀͊̏͛̎͊͋̈́̊̓̐̔͌̎͐̈́̉̄̈͒̇͑͛̃̂̒̈͛̀̐̈́̅͗̂̽̎̆͛͊́̾́̍̒̓̓͆͋̉͗̅̽̓͆͐̈́̈̀͊͑̊͛̈́͊́̄̆̾̇̊́͆̐̎̊̇̋̎͛̿͛̿̈́͒̈́̌̀͆̋̊̐̉͂̐̍̔̏̀̀̈́̌̊̓̌̽͆̅̍̌͆̀̆̃͋̈́̆͋͐͗̋̌̈́͂̾̀̀̓̌̽̋̿̃̑̆͋̎͋̂͛́̌̆͂̐̓̈́͐̋̈́̔͌̓̄́̈́͆̍͒͌̀͛̌̎̍̆̆͒̃̓͑̈́̿͘̚̚̕̕̕̚̚̕͘͘̕͜͜͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅ

Ę̸̧̧̨̨̨̡̢̛̛̛̠̟̙̼̠͉̯̰̭̙̼͉̤̗̤̼̬̖̪̼̥̻̠͓͍͈̙͎̩̠͉̮̣͔͙͇̞͓͔̙͇̮͍͎̘̲͓͍̹̺̦̬̞̥̘̟̥̖̗͙̤͇̮̰̙̤̰̫̰̹̥̫͓͍͈̺̯̥̙̼̫͔͚̖̭͔̻͎̙̲̹͎̲̙͖̺̺͎̪̗̺͎̙̪͕̣̣͙̣̓́͗̋̈̐̃̃͋͗̓͌͐͌̆̇̅͑̏̿́̈̾̀̊̉̒́̆͆̊̑͆͋̀́̈́̀̆̆̓̅̇͒́̐͋̃̃̈̔̏̀̌̃͛̈͌̐̆̔͑̔̎̈́͐͑̂̽͌̾́͊̒̂̄͗̔͐̆̒̈͒͛̃̀̒͋̋̾̋̅̈́͆̄̔̄͐̆͘͘̕͘̚̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅr̷̛̛̛̛̛̛̰͕̟̘̤̘̹̤͉̥͉͕̝͎̺͙̙͇͉̺̀́͛̐̈͛̅͒̾̋̆̓̈́̿̈̒̍̅̋́͌͋̓͊̓̓̂̌̀̔̑̋̉̾̄̆̀̽̐̂͂̅͗̏̄̐̐͌̂̔͆̃͛̔̌͆̃̒͆͐͂̓̋̿͑̾̅̓̊̍̈́̇̊̔͆̀̔̓̂̋̿̍̑̉̇͆͆͌̆̈́̈́́͆̌̔́̎̌͛͑́̇̏͊͑̆̀̔̓͋̈́͋͒̾̿̀̈̑̀̈́͆͗̊̊̄̊͋̃̇͘͘͘̚͘̕͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͠Ṙ̷̨̡̨̡̡̧̡̡̧̧̢̧̧̨̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̯̮͎͎̦̬̜͔̭̥̰͎͎̦͍͍̹͕͉͙̗͚̞̱̬͙̖͙͍̘̼͉̜͇̲̬̟͓͇̥̰̥͓͚͈̮͕͍̪̫̬͓͖͍͙̙͔͈̥̞̪͇͓͇̙̻̹̲͓̲̤̤̻͍̟̝̟͚̫̫̻͍̮͇͍̣̯̺̣̖͖̭̟̤̭̬̰͍̠͉̻̻̻̤̤̪͖̘̥͇̙̖̗̱̬̪̦̼̜͚̪̮̺̘̞̪̳̹̖̳͍̥̟̙̮̗̥̞̺̳̻̱͙̖̼̪̝̩̳̞͕͕̝̱̦̥͙̯̫̲͈͖̪͚̼̲̖̤͙̲͉̙̼̞͕̩̭̙͇͔̃͑̓͑͂̓͌̽̀̓̈́̓͐̍͗̔̇̑̉͑̑̌͆̑̀̇̿̄͋̎̓͂̈́͂̊̐̅͋͋͌͗̂̊͌̽̓͂̅̓̾̽̋̿͆́̍̎̈́̍͒̅̋͋̅̐͛̔̉̾̏̉̽́̌̋͋̓̅̈́̎̀͗͗̋̆̀̾̓́̃͌̔͑̿̅̓̅͆̉̐͂̏̈́͆̌́̃̇̓̿̾̾̆͐̓͆̉͛͂̈́̎̿̈̓͋̄̉̀͋̐̉̆̂̅̿̋̎̔̆͘͘͘̚͘̕̕͘͘̕͘͘̚̚̕̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅͅͅǫ̵̡̧̨̡̡̧̡̢̧̧̨̨̨̧̡̡̡̨̡̢̨̛̛͔̮̙͔̬͍͔̲͉̮̺̺̩̩͎̖̻̳̻͇̪̪̱͈͈͙͕͈̝͚̜̞̹̩̱͙̖͔̲̻̹͉̜͚͍̮̮̤̖̪̙͓͇̳͚͚̻̭̟̻̝̫͍͖͓̘̳͕̞͖̭̮͉̜̼̺͎̰͉̤̰͔͚̦͍̥̟̹͙̭̳̩̬͖̦̖̥̮̼͙̭̩͍̭̙̬̤̭̟͚͕͎̥̗̰͓͓̯̖̩͖̫͇̳͖̻̺͔̖̙͎̯̝͚̦̗̥̝̩̹͎͇̙̫̽̐̀̌͐͑̏͌̀̂̑̀̎̃͆̓̅̄̍̾̽͂́͋̉̔̀͊̀̃͊̾̃̀̋̿͊̈̀̒̔͒̒̊̎́͐́͌̈́̾͐̍͗̍̉͌̆̇̀̄͛͆̑͒̉͊̒̽̽̀̈́̔́̅͛̂̈́̀̊͌̈́̆̃̄̔͊̍̑̋̈́̌͗͌̓̃͑̃̀͂̆̉́̋̄͋̌͐́̓̌͑̅̅̅͆̾͊̚̚̕̚͘͘͘͘͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅR̷̢̢̢̨̨̢̨̨̢̛̛̛͎͖̣̞̫̭̜̞͙̹̘̜͈̠̹̖̙̬̜͈̬̜̜͉͚͎̟̗̩̘̣̖̠͍͍̙̣̟̲͙̠͓̜̹̦̤͙̪̈̿̌̈́̀̃̈́̔͂̓͐̃̾̐͛̑́̆̍̐̈́͊́̀̀͌͂́̇̂̿̉͛̋̏́̊͗̓͊̓̅̈́̂͗͒͒͛̊̂̃͊̽̑̇̂͐̂̆̆̀͑̈̈́͑̔̇͂̾̉̈̎͆̍́̈́̎̏͐̈̈̒͛̒̈́͒̽̒̾͒͑̇̍̓́̀̍͗͋̚̚̕̕͘̚͘͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͠

PLEASE CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS TO CONTINUE.

RETURN BACK Ḩ̴̣̱̫͇̭͔͇̦͚̩̪̘̮̳̪͇̘̣̻̀͆̋͗͌̊͋̽̄͐̎̿Ơ̶̢̨̛̠̦͇͍͙͉̭̟̥̳̹̳̱͕̎̿̈́͗͛̈̈́͆͂͋̄͛̆͂̒̎̑̒̊̑͊͛͋̑̒̈́͘̚̚̕͘̕͝͝ͅM̴̧̧̡͕̖̹̱̫̥̯͉͎͙͖̯̣̩̞̬͖͚͓͇͚̹̯̜̼͔̝͍̞̃̇̏̐̓͌̉̀͐̌̃̔͐͗̈́̽͌̐̂̑͑̓̓̓̐͋̓̆̈́́̽̍̊͜͜͜͜͠͠͝͝ͅĘ̴̣̮̝͈͔̙̩̫̠͕̦̱̼̪̝̫̤̠͙̝̤̹̙͕̺̝͔̜̲̜̾̐̓̒͒̌̐̋͋̓̈́͐͊̃̈́͊̔̀̋͗͌͑̒̍̋͝͠

OR

REMAIN IN THE M̴̳̗̭͓͙̼̲̠̣̙̎̆͆̚H̴̢̨̢̨̛͚͓̳͔͈̗̹̳̮̟̗̘͎͓͕̥̯̬̞͈͔͈̋̑̃͌̉̄͗̍̉̾͑̈́͒̆̿̒̆͛̇̐̐͆̈̑̀͒͒̆̑̍̕̕̕͝͠ͅȂ̸̢̢̧̛̬͈̺̥̬͓̣͕̯̻̼̬̱͙̩̓͛̑̑̓́̾̉̑̒̓̿̅͌̿̽͆̈̉́͝͝-̴̧̨̨̨̧̡̧̩̙̖̣̙͉̹̼̩̪̤̩͎̫͕̭̖̰̫̲̫̌̋̾͂̊̉͊͐̏̈́́͛́͛̒̒̊̂̇͐̆̄͌̄͆̀͆̚̕̕͠V̴̢̛̛͎͇͉̜̆̅̉̔́͛̀̿̎́͛̉͂͋͆̎̾̍̓̓̔̋̑̐͛͌̄̈́͆͌̐̕̚̚͠͝E̴̡̧̢̡͙̥͈̝̺͖͔̹͚̱̳̮̭̺͓̹̝̫̲̹̺̮̋̆̏́̄̒̌̊̾̈́̚͝ͅR̶̢͇̞͕̹͙̼̻̖̟̖̭̠̬̯͐̒̀̇̊̔̈̈́̎͋̒͛͒͊̚̚͝͝Ŝ̶͚̯̰̝̹͙̿̿͂͂̌̍́̀͊̓̌̉͌̍̓̐̎͌̚Ȩ̶̧̨̱̰̯̖͕̼̝̬̼̥̟͕̬̞̯̟͎̗͔̦͚̪̲̝̩̱͙̳̯̜͑͗͌̔̅̏̈́͆̿̓̇̾̓̔̾̈́̾͆̾̍̃̄͗̿̓̏͗̇̔̏̄͂̅̂̕̕̚͝

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Ę̸̧̧̨̨̨̡̢̛̛̛̠̟̙̼̠͉̯̰̭̙̼͉̤̗̤̼̬̖̪̼̥̻̠͓͍͈̙͎̩̠͉̮̣͔͙͇̞͓͔̙͇̮͍͎̘̲͓͍̹̺̦̬̞̥̘̟̥̖̗͙̤͇̮̰̙̤̰̫̰̹̥̫͓͍͈̺̯̥̙̼̫͔͚̖̭͔̻͎̙̲̹͎̲̙͖̺̺͎̪̗̺͎̙̪͕̣̣͙̣̓́͗̋̈̐̃̃͋͗̓͌͐͌̆̇̅͑̏̿́̈̾̀̊̉̒́̆͆̊̑͆͋̀́̈́̀̆̆̓̅̇͒́̐͋̃̃̈̔̏̀̌̃͛̈͌̐̆̔͑̔̎̈́͐͑̂̽͌̾́͊̒̂̄͗̔͐̆̒̈͒͛̃̀̒͋̋̾̋̅̈́͆̄̔̄͐̆͘͘̕͘̚̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅr̷̛̛̛̛̛̛̰͕̟̘̤̘̹̤͉̥͉͕̝͎̺͙̙͇͉̺̀́͛̐̈͛̅͒̾̋̆̓̈́̿̈̒̍̅̋́͌͋̓͊̓̓̂̌̀̔̑̋̉̾̄̆̀̽̐̂͂̅͗̏̄̐̐͌̂̔͆̃͛̔̌͆̃̒͆͐͂̓̋̿͑̾̅̓̊̍̈́̇̊̔͆̀̔̓̂̋̿̍̑̉̇͆͆͌̆̈́̈́́͆̌̔́̎̌͛͑́̇̏͊͑̆̀̔̓͋̈́͋͒̾̿̀̈̑̀̈́͆͗̊̊̄̊͋̃̇͘͘͘̚͘̕͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͠Ṙ̷̨̡̨̡̡̧̡̡̧̧̢̧̧̨̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̯̮͎͎̦̬̜͔̭̥̰͎͎̦͍͍̹͕͉͙̗͚̞̱̬͙̖͙͍̘̼͉̜͇̲̬̟͓͇̥̰̥͓͚͈̮͕͍̪̫̬͓͖͍͙̙͔͈̥̞̪͇͓͇̙̻̹̲͓̲̤̤̻͍̟̝̟͚̫̫̻͍̮͇͍̣̯̺̣̖͖̭̟̤̭̬̰͍̠͉̻̻̻̤̤̪͖̘̥͇̙̖̗̱̬̪̦̼̜͚̪̮̺̘̞̪̳̹̖̳͍̥̟̙̮̗̥̞̺̳̻̱͙̖̼̪̝̩̳̞͕͕̝̱̦̥͙̯̫̲͈͖̪͚̼̲̖̤͙̲͉̙̼̞͕̩̭̙͇͔̃͑̓͑͂̓͌̽̀̓̈́̓͐̍͗̔̇̑̉͑̑̌͆̑̀̇̿̄͋̎̓͂̈́͂̊̐̅͋͋͌͗̂̊͌̽̓͂̅̓̾̽̋̿͆́̍̎̈́̍͒̅̋͋̅̐͛̔̉̾̏̉̽́̌̋͋̓̅̈́̎̀͗͗̋̆̀̾̓́̃͌̔͑̿̅̓̅͆̉̐͂̏̈́͆̌́̃̇̓̿̾̾̆͐̓͆̉͛͂̈́̎̿̈̓͋̄̉̀͋̐̉̆̂̅̿̋̎̔̆͘͘͘̚͘̕̕͘͘̕͘͘̚̚̕̚͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͝ͅͅͅͅǫ̵̡̧̨̡̡̧̡̢̧̧̨̨̨̧̡̡̡̨̡̢̨̛̛͔̮̙͔̬͍͔̲͉̮̺̺̩̩͎̖̻̳̻͇̪̪̱͈͈͙͕͈̝͚̜̞̹̩̱͙̖͔̲̻̹͉̜͚͍̮̮̤̖̪̙͓͇̳͚͚̻̭̟̻̝̫͍͖͓̘̳͕̞͖̭̮͉̜̼̺͎̰͉̤̰͔͚̦͍̥̟̹͙̭̳̩̬͖̦̖̥̮̼͙̭̩͍̭̙̬̤̭̟͚͕͎̥̗̰͓͓̯̖̩͖̫͇̳͖̻̺͔̖̙͎̯̝͚̦̗̥̝̩̹͎͇̙̫̽̐̀̌͐͑̏͌̀̂̑̀̎̃͆̓̅̄̍̾̽͂́͋̉̔̀͊̀̃͊̾̃̀̋̿͊̈̀̒̔͒̒̊̎́͐́͌̈́̾͐̍͗̍̉͌̆̇̀̄͛͆̑͒̉͊̒̽̽̀̈́̔́̅͛̂̈́̀̊͌̈́̆̃̄̔͊̍̑̋̈́̌͗͌̓̃͑̃̀͂̆̉́̋̄͋̌͐́̓̌͑̅̅̅͆̾͊̚̚̕̚͘͘͘͘͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅR̷̢̢̢̨̨̢̨̨̢̛̛̛͎͖̣̞̫̭̜̞͙̹̘̜͈̠̹̖̙̬̜͈̬̜̜͉͚͎̟̗̩̘̣̖̠͍͍̙̣̟̲͙̠͓̜̹̦̤͙̪̈̿̌̈́̀̃̈́̔͂̓͐̃̾̐͛̑́̆̍̐̈́͊́̀̀͌͂́̇̂̿̉͛̋̏́̊͗̓͊̓̅̈́̂͗͒͒͛̊̂̃͊̽̑̇̂͐̂̆̆̀͑̈̈́͑̔̇͂̾̉̈̎͆̍́̈́̎̏͐̈̈̒͛̒̈́͒̽̒̾͒͑̇̍̓́̀̍͗͋̚̚̕̕͘̚͘͜͜͝͠͝͝͝͠

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LOADING REQUEST………

| | | | CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU HAVE CHOSE TO REMAIN IN THE MHA-VERSE!

LOADING MHA-VERSE….

| | | | | 

Waking up with a jolt, you open your eyes and the first thing you see a white ceiling.

Sitting up right from the semi-comfortable bed, you look around to see the same white room from your fever dream. Looking down at your arms, you find no IV’s stuck onto you or anything really, just that when you pushed back some hair, your fingers brushed onto a cloth on your forehead. 

Tracing your fingers onto the bandage, you decide to look at the injury that Bakugo had left you with underneath the plain white shirt you wore. (You eventually came to the conclusion that you were in a hospital)

Shirt pulled, your fingers trace along the bandages that also seemed to be covering up your injury, some of them being a faint red color that couldn't be noticed if you started from afar. 

Finally pulled from your thoughts, someone knocks on the door and waits a few seconds until they finally open the door. 

A man with an odd shade of orange hair came, wearing a white coat over himself with a name tag on the right chest. 

He smiled towards the h/c girl and walked towards her, with a clipboard in hand.

“Good to finally see that you're doing better Ms. L/n, I’m Dr. Rovaka. But I suppose you want to get straight to the point?”

Not really feeling up to taking and already having enough of seeing white walls, you just nod as he looked down at his clipboard in one hand as he had a pen in the other.

“Alright, so basically you had a concussion but don’t worry! Nothing was permanently damaged, we made sure of that. Only a few bruises and cuts here and there by nothing major for the most part. But that wasn't what concerned me, it was the injury you have on your left side. Do you mind telling me what happened?”

Dr. Rovaka looked at you, worried clearly written all over his face. 

Clenching your jaw, you debate on the options at hand; if you told him the truth, there’s a chance that the doctor will tell your parents and they’ll find out sooner or later who it was and report them for illegal use of quirk while in public. On the other hand, if you didn’t say anything, what was going to happen?

Sighing, you come to the conclusion that it’s better to lie in this situation, right? Looking at the doctor, who still had a worried expression, you began to spew out whatever came to your mind first.

“So, you see, I was just on my way home from school like any other day, until a little kid bumped into me on my left and accidentally activated their fire-like quirk. And that’s what caused the injury.”

He looked at me, not believing me, but he didn’t seem to comment on it.

“Well, if you say so, but the kids' quirk must’ve been a pretty uncontrollable one if it did that much damage. Anyways, about the type of medication you would need to take. Now, this medication……”

Tuning out his voice, you look straight ahead of him and towards the bland wall. 

What seemed to have been a million years of non-stop talking, Dr. Ravaka took a deep breath and let it out.

“Alright kid, here's the prescription, make sure to take it one every night for the next few weeks alright? Now, I just need to call your parents to pick you up and you're good to go!”

Tearing your stare from the wall, you look at the doctor as he says those words. A tense smile made its way up to your face.

“I can call them myself, don’t worry about it!”

“No, it’s alright, it’ll only take a few minutes to-”

“I insist Dr. Ravaka, I can call my parents! Besides, you said you needed to be somewhere right now, right?”

“Yes but-”

“What if someone's dying right now and you're not there?”

The room became silent, and he looked at you in a weird way, probably both offended and worried if you hit your head a bit too hard. Although after a few minutes, he must’ve given up as he sighed and handed me the plastic bag of medication.

“Alright you win, have a good day young lady. And don’t forget to take the medication as I told you.”

“Hey, wait. I want to ask you something.”

Looking back, Dr. Ravaka was standing near the door and looked at the girl with a smile. 

“What may that question be Ms. L/n? I may have an answer!”

Smiling at him (sort of?) joke, your face became one of confusion as you tilted your head slightly to the side. 

“I don’t remember coming here by myself, do you mind telling me who brought me here, or how I got to the hospital in the first place?”

The doctor’s small smile seemed to have tensed up as he shuffled from one foot to another, not sure if he should disclose the information that he was asked to keep by the person that had brought you to the hospital. 

As you were about to say something else, his phone had started to ring. Taking out his phone, Dr. Ravaka mentally sighed out a breath of relief as he put the phone away back into his pocket. 

“I’m sorry Ms. L/n, but I need to head out to see another patient. I hope you have a good rest of your day!”

| | | | | | Later that day

| | | | | | 

It’s been a little while since you left the hospital and now you are heading home, taking a walk through the alleyways in between some of the houses to make it home faster since the sun had already begun to set.  

Taking out your phone, you go into your contacts and press the call button on one of them.

Putting the phone up to your ear, you let the phone ring until they answered.

“Hey mom, I-”

“What do you need Y/n? I’m busy right now with your father trying to fix something messed up with my business.”

While you were walking from the hospital a while back, you thought it would've been better if you told your parents what had happened to you while on your way home from school, you never liked lying to begin with. It always made your stomach feel weird. But as usual, it seemed that she wasn't in the mood, again. 

“Nothing, I just wanted to say-”

“Nothing? Y/n, you know better than this!”

“Mom, I know but I just wanted to-”

“Okay Y/n, I need to go and fix this, I trust you to make dinner or just buy some food and have it delivered. Bye!”

“-say I love you.”

You now stood there in the middle of the alleyway between the houses that surrounded you from unwanted eyes as you felt stinging in your eyes. 

Wiping the non-existing tears away, you put away your phone and sigh. 

Lately, your mom has been stressed about her business and work while your father was also stressing on it and his own job, and they’ve been away for more and more time throughout these days now. 

The last few rays of light disappeared as night took over. Continuing your walk home, you kick some pebbles out of your way, anger starts to seep into your mind as you talk by yourself, at least, that’s what you thought.

“Huh, the fuck did I do wrong to be chewed out like that, just because they're having a shitty time doesn't mean they should take it out on me.”

“That’s some strong language for someone like you kid.”

| | | | | | | 

A/n:

Sorry I didn't post sooner; school has been a pain in the ass.   :<) I've also been a bit stressed because I need to study for my upcoming test on Friday for a collage class that I'm taking. I was supposed to finish this chapter on Dec. 9th, but I got sidetracked due to my birthday that day soooo ya, being 16 is kind of weird. Anyways, sorry again for not posting sooner, I'll try my best next time. Also, I wonder who Y/n just met, another new character? A character she already met not so long before? Comment if you know who it might be if you want, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day! :> 

[chanstopher]

fam: something about fam always makes me think of a 2010 early K-pop vibes so in a way it is a nostalgic sound for me to hear again. we all know how cute the lyrics are and I am reminded how cute for a change, instead for the fans, they be penning for each other and making like a compliment relay. honestly who are skz's biggest fans if not skz themselves? - helloskz anon

ok im gonna put all of these under this ask and use a readmore so i dont have to bother anyone else by trying to answer these one at a time.

 i adore both versions of this song, i love that they really compliment and tease each other in the song, it really speaks a lot about their relationships as members and as friends. and i think the really electronic track definitely leans to a 2nd gen sound thats so true!

connected: this feels like a song that has the whole aesthetic of being secret lovers and taking the hidden, lesser roads to get away and be alone together in some 3 star motel where nobody knows the both of you and you talk to each other through 'body language'. 10 out of 10 vibes of one person in fwb catching feelings. not me listening and thinking well christopher, magnets are not the only things that can be connected :)

im so obsessed with this song the whole vibe is so good, i t makes me think of early zayn music which i know chris is a fan of. the song does have a really good vibe of being almost a secret i can totally see that, im just praying i never have to see what kind of choreo would go along with this song because i dont actually want to die thank you very much

limbo: it feels like the song is much shorter than it actually is even though it is 3 minutes but that is maybe the turmoil and emotions i went through while listening to this song idk. limbo makes me think of like someone going through the memories of their ex in their head and the more they keep going through the memories, the more the memories fade or wear off over time because of how often it is looked back on and you know how people say our memories are not reliable because we can remember things differently from what actually happened. they know they should move forward but they are stuck in limbo as looking back is the only way to see them again 😔

that is such a good theory, i havent really had the ability to take the song in in that way because i think im still just so focused on minhos vocals and like FINALLY getting a solo from him that i spend the entire song just squealing lmao but the darker meloncohlic vibe is not what i expected at all. honestly i assumed his and chris' song styles would be flipped because danceracha keeps putting out the more r&b songs as a unit and chris is sad™️ but this song really showed off minho's vocals which i appreciate because ive been screaming to no one for so long at how amazing he is

doodle: is that song where you can imagine in an underground club where all the cool, alternative kids hang out and give each other tattoos or something idk i was never cool. or alternatively, it gives me the vibes of changbin standing in the middle of like cars circling around him while he is rapping and there's fire burning around somewhere to show how fire he is. maybe some monster trucks thrown in here and there, dmx tricks somewhere. 10 out of 10 nobody will ever be cooler than changbin ever, confirmed.

doodle is exactly what i expected from changbin, it goes hard and fast the entire song and something about the way he says doodle really tickles my ear in the best way!

alien: to be very honest, i had only listen to alien once it first came out and i know, i know, it sounds like blasphemy for me to say that but i guess i was not in the right mind and mood to properly listen to it and i did not want those factors to spoil my actual feelings on the song. now that i am listening back to this, i can better appreciate him having made this song, a song that many of us have related to but still holding for a brighter tomorrow

alien is literally one of my favorite songs ever actually! its brought me a lot of comfort since he first released it so i listen to it constantly! if it had counted toward my music wrapped this year it would have been like my 3rd most listened to song lol its also the reason i have a tattoo for jisung

because: the song that is like the embodiment of a warm hug, hot chocolate and reassurances. especially remembering how this song came out around the time we had our hyunjin drought? this makes the song all the more special and sweet to me. to get a song with just changbin and felix on it, especially hearing them sing? we are blessed and spoiled by them, really. 

i think because perfectly sums up changlix and how soft they are together and toward each other! they’ve always has a particularly cute bond since the beginning and i think this song really suits them. and like u said its really like a soft hug

piece of a puzzle: now this, this is the song when i heard the snippet of it during that variety they did that is slipping my mind at the moment and 3racha was at chan's room working on this and up all night- ANYWAYS. sure the song got released on youtube but it's not the SAME as compared to being able to save it on spotify and experience the song completely. even though the lyrics are rather sad, in a way, it oddly comforts me.

to me this song sounds so much like its supposed to be an ost, something about the emotion of it really just feels like it should be playing in the background of important moments, and i agree being able to hear it crisp really amplifies just how amazing it is

wish you back: it is at this song that i had the realisation yet again for han's passion for music for not only the genres he explores but also how he has the most songs on this album as he is constantly working on music. music really does make him happy huh. we can always appreciate the interesting ways the boys are able to mix genres and even right now, the best i can think of is acoustic guitar tropical dance hall for this song? only these boys. 

HaPpY: if you were beautiful or letting go by day6 had an angsty but somehow chill lofi hip hop younger sibling, it would be this song. you can always depend on han to have generally upbeat sounding songs and then having lyrics that are the complete contrast to them. he really has us guessing his next move every single time and not knowing what to expect.

i think something about jisungs writing style is just so perfect, i always find myself drawn to the songs he writes the most. his solo things and the songs for their albums. he seems to be able to hit the nerve of hopeful melancholy so perfectly. i think he really knows how to embody the feeling of being someone in their 20′s trying to navigate their life and emotional changes

up all night: the best i can describe this feeling this gives me is you attending a halloween party and everyone that you thought that are just dressed up as these odd, mythical beings are just that, costumes but they are in actuality all these odd beings and the weird adventures you have at this party from dusk to dawn. 10 out of 10 more than willing to hang out with vampire skz even though they probably suck at it 

this song is so cute and fun and the fact that it was one of the first songs chris ever made makes it even more special, like he had it saved on his computer all this time to make something silly and cocky at the same time during a stressful time for everyone

drive: i think enough has been said and joked about drive and i have nothing else smart and witty to add to this conversation. but the two eldest knew exactly what they were doing and they can be all hehe coy about it but we know. we know they know. they knew what they were doing

so true, and its just such a good song, and as a massive minchan stan i live for it and appreciate it so much lol

ice cream: what a palate cleanser to have this as the last long huh? what more after drive. simple, sweet, melodic. they saw we needed peace and they delivered us ice cream. much appreciated and needed. i can attempt to peacefully go to bed despite the roller coaster ride of emotions this entire ass album put me through. but would i sign up for it again? exactly

hyunjin and his soft artful sweet voice finishing the rollercoaster of an album is truly perfection on their part.

[jessefferguson]

A Perfect 10?

I was sitting in a warm, cloistered room when they came in to give me the news. They walked in and asked how I was doing.  I responded with some non-committal, nonchalant answer like “living the dream and avoiding the nightmares.”  It’s one of my regulars.

Then they gave me the update from the scans.

That described my latest visit to my oncologist on Wednesday of last week. It also describes my doctor visit 10 years ago, today.  Ten years ago (May 21, 2013), the doctor told me that the scans and biopsy revealed cancer in my neck. It was aggressive, dangerous and a real threat.  

At my appointment ten years later, the doctor told me it was still there.  Then again, so am I.

Ten years ago, it was soul-crushing news that left my life forever altered.  Ten years later, it was good news – a regular test every 6-months that shows the disease remains under control, in check and status quo.  In other words, a chronic condition.

The same answer but 10 years apart. Expectations really are everything.

5,256,000 Minutes

So, today is the 10 year “anniversary” of my diagnosis.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot but not really talked to anyone about it. I don’t bring up my health issues often any more as they’ve receded from the ‘headline’ of my life. But, like page B27 of the metro section, the news is still there.

As I’ve thought about the 10-year mark, it’s made me think about what changes have occurred in my life and what experiences I never experienced because of the disease. I’ve definitely lost weight from the nearly 350-lb person I was when diagnosed to about 200-lb today.  But, I’ve gained weight in my face thanks to radiation treatments.

In 10 years, I’ve gone from thinking about my next career move and next opportunity to a life more focused on the work I’m doing now.  As I’ve said before, I’m not much of a “stop and smell the roses” kinda person, but I have learned to noticed that there are flowers outside.

In 10 years, I’ve probably had 200 IVs and 350 blood tests. In 10 years, I’ve probably had 25 or 30 scans (CTs, PET scans and like).  In 10 years, I’ve had 4 major surgeries and a lot of other ups and downs.

In 10 years, I’ve learned to live with it.  Sorta.

CANCERING WHILE PANDEMICING

The last few years were hard for everyone.  The tragic loss of too many people and the terrible loss of connection, interaction and basic humanity for too many more. It will take years and, even, generations to fully grasp what happened to us during the pandemic. For centuries, humanity has had biases and fears of each other based on skin color or background. Now, people feared each other because of what they might be breathing out of their mouth.

That fear has led to anger and the anger led to defiance.  The defiance may now have led to some level of resignation.

You go through a similar emotional roller coast when you’re diagnosed with cancer. It didn’t emerge in you through some rational, easily traceable pathway. It’s more random.  It feels like it floats on the air.

Throughout the heights of the pandemic, I was pretty careful and quarantined. Living in New York was eerie, as the city that is always alive but the noise went dead and silent.  The noises you’re accustomed hearing on the streets were replaced with only the blaring sirens of ambulances.  And, as someone who had a pre-existing condition, I lived in fear.  I went months without interacting directly with any human being. Eventually, aided by vaccines, I got comfortable with the risk again and reentered the world.

I made it nearly 3 years without ever getting COVID but did get it in January of 2023.  It wasn’t pleasant but I was fine thanks to vaccines. Wish we had those for cancer.

LOSS

Loss is hard on anyone.  Whether it’s a loved one or a friend, a peer or a pioneer. We all feel it differently. Over the last 10 years, I’ve lost people for a variety of reasons but the ones with cancer obviously stand out to me – people like Mame Reiley and Tyrone Gayle. They were both taken too soon, in their 50s and their 30s, respectively. I learned so much from both of them but am left to wonder what I would have learned if I’d had more time with them. Both were diagnosed after I was, a reality that makes me uncomfortable to even type.

But, none of the loss can compare to June 3, 2020.  

My dad has struggled with some health issues for a few years due to a blood cancer known as MDS (Myelodysplastic syndrome). He was diagnosed about a decade ago and had a stem cell transplant in fall of 2017.  Doctors said his condition had no relation to mine.

On June 3, 2020, he passed away. He lived a full life – and a life well lived – but losing him at 73 was devastating.  I’m not over it and don’t expect I ever will be.

But, one thing really didn’t come to my mind until a few months ago – as I started thinking about my 10th year with cancer. He was by my side through all of it – from months of treatment in Houston to daily reminders to put one put in front of the other to regular proclamations that we’d beat this thing.

There’s one very vivid memory that had somehow been stored in the recess of my brain until recently.  It was when I was first getting treated in fall of 2013 and I was in a treatment room at MD Anderson. The treatments those days were long (6hrs) and fairly miserable in their side effects. I remember one day running particularly long and my mom had left the room for a bit. Dad and I were talking.  And he said something that day and we never talked about it again. He told me he had asked in prayer that somehow he would be able to “take on this cancer for me” – that he would do it so I didn’t have to.

As I reach 10 years with this disease, I guess I’ve been asking myself lately whether his prayer had kind of been answered?

UPS AND DOWNS

I haven’t written much on this blog in the last few years because I haven’t had much “news” to update.  I’ve had a few scary moments but none of them have amounted to much of anything in the long run.

In October of 2022, I started to feel weak. My stomach was uncomfortable. I had chills and sweats. I was running a fever.  Finally, after putting it off for longer than I should, I went into the urgent care at Sloan Kettering.  When I checked in, things were stable. Within an hour of checking in, things took a turn.

Apparently, I had an infection that likely came about through my tracheostomy tube.  The infection had led to pneumonia and, at this point, I was dealing with sepsis. My blood pressure had dropped pretty dramatically and they took me into the ICU.

Fortunately, the doctors knew what they were doing. One of them was particularly arrogant. I liked him – having long believed that I like slightly arrogant doctors since they spend all day boxing with the almighty.

Through lots of days of antibiotics and other remedies, things became stable again. For a little while, my legs and feet were so swollen that I couldn’t put on shoes - I truly though I was looking at clown feet in my own bed. 

For me, though, the worst part was the timing – it was 4 weeks before the midterms.  I’d love to characterize it as some heroic gesture where I kept my phone by my side and my laptop on the table while I spent 10 days in the hospital.  I’d love to pretend like it was an act of dedication that I carried my phone on walks around the hospital while building strength in my legs so I could walk again. Honestly, none of that is true.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the 10 years, it’s that the world – even in the political world – will function (or dysfunction) just fine if I’m not attentive. But, my work is my distraction. It is my therapist. Instead of focusing on what I might be going through, I’d much rather take a call about an ad campaign or send edits to a polling draft.

It’s why, after 10 years with this disease, I get daily reminders that I have to enjoy my work to make it worthwhile. If you have the privilege of doing something you love to do, hold onto it.

A PERFECT 10

So, the last 10 years haven’t exactly been a “perfect 10.” There have been some bumps (both figurative and literal). If you had asked me 10 years ago whether I thought I’d be here in 2023, I don’t know what answer I would have given.  To be honest, I couldn’t think that long into the future.

But, the disease is status quo. No news is good news. I still get my treatments every 3 weeks. Those haven’t changed. But, I’m still here.

A few years ago, I used to spend time really thinking about the things that I’d lost and missed out on because of this disease. I’d been dwelling on the things I might have been doing – different trajectories on my career, my personal life, pr even a family.

As I look at 10 years, I think my perspective has changed just a little.  Sometimes in life, the path of least resistance is also the path of least return and least result.

I'd obviously never wish an illness or a disease on anyone. I'd never wish anyone had to go through what I've gone through or face the even-harder road that so many others have had with this disease.  This isn’t my effort to pretend that every cloud has a silver lining.  It’s pretty clear that cancer is a nasty thunder storm.  There’s not much silver lining to be seen.

But, maybe, you can occasionally step back and take some solace from the fact we only know about the existence of electricity because of a bolt of lightning.

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before reading please know this is from experience and i am NOT dictating everyones experience, i am just ranting about bad instances about privilege/bad therapists/therapy, so before you comment (and ill know if youve read this at all by your comment = blocking) please read the four points!

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THIS. i see antis all the time get their thong in a twist because people ship stuff they want to (that the anti doesnt agree with). and they usually follow up with a ‘kys’ or ‘get therapy!’ like, first all. therapy is NOT cheap, and no, online ‘free’ therapy isnt good either. it takes a LOT of work to find a therapist WITHIN price range AND actually agrees/supports/is okay with you as their client + that you even get to the point (which would be months or even years) being comfortable enough to tell them this stuff anyways without the fear of them insta reporting you and hauling your butt off to the ward (happened to me almost three times, two worked..).

as someone whos experienced bad stuff growing up, ive been to therapy for almost a decade now and let me tell you four things ive run into..

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1• you have to pay a lot for these people. my therapist + med doctor NOW, costs about 2-300$ a visit, AND THATS PER (separate) PERSON, not two people in one visit. and this is out of our insurance (doctor recommended). but not everyone who goes to therapy has really good insurance/insurance at all, therefore cannot go because its too expensive + its a very priveleged thing to say ‘instead of projecting your trauma in a normal (or even non-normal) way through comships/proships FOR FREE (without it causing harm to yourself/others) go pay HUNDREDS of dollars because thats mainstream/it worked for me!!’ like do you hear yourself,????? everyone is different and no two traumas are alike, and even if once in a blue moon they ARE very similar, two seperate individuals can cope with that similar experience in ENTIRELY different directions/ways… anyways, you may say, ‘why not go to a person in your insurance’ you ask? I HAVE. many times. which brings me to number two.

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2• bad therapists. listen, cheap isnt always better. ive had therapists make me pay my entire 30$ BEFORE the session starts, then cut me off around 30/40 minutes in (mid session/even mid talking) (they lasted an hour/hour and a half typically). cheaper therapists/local therapists that arent connected through doctor recommendations are not usually the best imo, along with ive heard really bad stuff about the free ones online + new psych students treating patients like guinea pigs/other issues..

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3• they dont like you. listen, this is not the case EVERY time, but from experience, every therapist ive seen/talked too (about 10 of them now) has disagreed with me on my OWN viewpoint of my toxic household. but you may say, ‘oh but theyre allowed to disagree?’ yes! they can! but you cant be disagreeing about my abuser not being the issue and I am the issue instead (wacko). most (not all) therapists treat it as their job, and you as their customer. yes, some people have really good relationships with their therapist, but please dont think for one second they wont report you + say some out of pocket stuff because theyre the ‘experienced one’ (trust me, its as rude irl as it sounds).

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4• what ‘tools’ they use/let you talk about SUCK. my newer therapist, granted, isnt the best but its all i have rn, doesnt personally let me vent or talk about my childhood trauma/stuff that actually bothers me. its always “catch me up since weve last talked” and thats it. always the same thing.. along with that, they give you packets about journaling your feelings, and someone who cannot just ‘breathe and count to ten to feel better’ these packets are genuinely useless and i usually dont do them. most therapists have a very basic and general approach to these intense things (especially neurotypical therapists) because they have the mindset of: A) works 9/10 times but if not, B) is the next best thing. and most times they dont actually get to know their patient outside of friendly conversation/med records..

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if anyone stayed for the entire rant thank you lolz, it was a huge thing to get off my chest but it seriously irks me that, again, antis actually just look at surface level things within communities instead of actually hearing people who belong in this (and other) communities, then without a thought they deem it ‘problematic’, and spread mis-info and demonize the people doing it.

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TYSM FOR STAYING HAVE A COOKIE IF YOU READ IT ALL 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 ILY ALL!!!

"you need to go to therapy" no thank you, fictional incest is cheaper