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calebxia · 4 years ago

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only you || part vi the final

Stepdad Osamu x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: breeding, oral (f receiving), biting, panties as a gag, pussyjob, teasing, female masturbation, dacryphilia (m+f), daddy kink, femdom, choking, wombfucking, light dumbification, spit, overstimulation, squirting

8.4k words

part i || part ii || part iii || part iv || part v | part vi || extras || only you, too

“She’s going to be here soon,” you yawned as Osamu reached around you to press his fingers against your clit.

“It’s only six,” Osamu mumbled against the back of your neck. You moaned softly as he slowly slid into you from behind. Osamu grunted as he bottomed out.

“Osamu,” you moaned. His arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly against him. His thrusts were slow and deep and his fingers never stuttered as they rubbed over your clit.

“Feel good, baby?” Osamu asked. You nodded and turned your head, puckering your lips for Osamu to kiss you. He eagerly complied, slotting his lips against yours immediately.

He swallowed your moans as your stomach tightened and your thighs shook.

“Fill me up?” You asked softly, lips brushing against his.

“Gonna cum already?” He asked.

“Can’t help it,” you said. “You feel so good inside me.” You moaned loudly as he rolled his hips.

“Gonna make ya gush around my cock,” he said. You nodded as his fingers rubbed your clit faster.

“Samu,” you moaned. He lifted your leg to get a better angle.

“Gonna fill ya up, sweet girl,” he said. “Make ya a mommy, yeah?”

You nodded again, unable to speak as his cock repeatedly slammed against your cervix. The metal barbell that decorated the head of his cock dragged against your gummy walls deliciously.

“You-you ever thought of more piercings?” You asked as he kissed your neck and groped your breasts.

“Mmm, why?” Osamu asked. His hips slapped against your ass with a particularly strong thrust.

“Jus’ think a jacob’s ladder would be interesting,” you said, thinking of the way the row of piercings would constantly be dragging against that spongy spot inside you.

“Takes too long to heal,” Osamu said. “Can’t be away from this tight cunt that long.”

Osamu grunted as your walls clamped around him. You let out a high pitched moan.

“Samu, Samu! Gonna cum,” you moaned. Your walls fluttered as Osamu thrusted harder.

“Hold on, princess,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Cum with me.”

“Can’t wait,” you whined, pressing your ass against him to feel him deeper.

“Jus’-jus’ a lil more,” he said. Your eyes burned with tears as you struggled not to cum.

“Samu,” you whined, dragging his name out.

“Fuck, now, cum now, princess,” he swore. You cried out as his teeth sank into the soft flesh of your shoulder. His cock twitched as your walls clenched around him.

Your juices gushed around his cock as your walls fluttered, pulling more and more cum from him.

“Gonna milk me dry,” he moaned. His tongue ran over the tender bite mark he left.

You relaxed into his hold as your orgasms finally ended. You could feel his cock twitching, trying vainly to stay hard in your warm, wet cunt.

“Whatta ‘bout you?” Osamu asked.

“What?” You asked, resting your hand on top of his. You slotted your fingers between his.

“Ever thought about getting any piercings?” He asked.

“Why, you have any suggestions?”

“Well, these cute, lil nipples are just begging for attention,” he said, playfully pinching your nipple.

“Maybe,” you said, smiling as his free hand rubbed up and down your stomach.

“Wasn’t kiddin’ when I said I’d make ya a mommy,” he said. “Wanna see you big and round with my babies.”

“One day,” you said, cuddling into him.

“Wanna start trying in the shower?” He asked.

You laughed. “I think we’ve been trying all week.”

“Okay, wanna try, again, in the shower?”

“Samu, she really will be here soon this time,” you said as Osamu wrapped his arms around you from behind.

“I can’t just hug my love?” He asked, resting his chin on your shoulder as you washed dishes.

“That would be so much sweeter if I couldn’t feel your erection digging into my back,” you said. You flicked water from your fingertips into his face.

“I can’t help it,” he whined. “Ya look hot when yer being all domestic.”

“That’s your misogyny kicking in,” you teased, rinsing the last of the dishes.

“So what if I think ya would make my perfect housewife? Isn’t a man entitled to his thoughts?” Osamu asked.

“Nope,” you popped. You smiled widely and twisted around to face him. You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’d be your little housewife. But only for you. Don’t let my friends know, I’m supposed to be a big, bad feminist.”

“You can be a big, bad feminist and a housewife,” Osamu said. “‘S’long as ya chose to be one.”

“Oh-ho, when did you get so knowledgeable?” You joked.

“I was in an all-girl feminists club in college,” he said, cockily.

“Mhm, how many of them did you sleep with?” You asked.

“None!” Osamu exclaimed. You just looked at him. “They were all lesbians.”

“Sounds like a club I’m interested in,” you said.

Osamu smiled. “Oh?”

“Wait, baby!” Osamu whined. You laughed as he pouted.

“I’m joking, joking!” You laughed. “Partially.”

“Oh? Really now?” Osamu asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“If you make even one threesome joke, I will leave you for Atsumu,” you said.

“I would never joke about a threesome,” Osamu said. “I’d be completely serious.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Calling Atsumu as we speak,” you said, pulling your phone out of your pocket. You held the phone up to your ear. “Hello, the hotter Miya twin?”

“Ouch,” Osamu winced. “Ya really got me where it hurts.”

You pocketed your phone and cupped Osamu’s face with your hands.

“I love you,” you said, smiling.

“I love ya more,” he said. He leaned down, pecking your lips. You giggled as he peppered your face with kisses.

“I love ya, I love ya, I love ya,” he said in between kisses. “I love ya.” He kissed you deeply.

“Cute.”

The two of you jumped apart as your mom’s voice cut through the kitchen.

“You’re home!” You exclaimed.

“We all need to talk,” she said, placing a stack of papers on the table and sitting down.

You and Osamu sat across from her.

“Divorce papers,” she said, sliding them across the table to Osamu.

“That was quick,” Osamu said, reading over the first page. “No fault?”

“I figured that was the quickest and easiest route,” she said.

You nodded as you read the papers over Osamu’s shoulder.

“We each get to keep what we came with,” she said. “I get the house, you get the restaurant. I’m willing to buy out your half of the car.”

“That sounds fair,” Osamu said. He flipped through the pages, reading each one carefully.

“More than,” your mom said.

“What about me?” You asked. The entire time she’d been here, your mom hadn’t once even glanced your way.

“Frankly, I have nothing to say to you,” she said, finally looking at you. “In my eyes, you’re nothing but the other woman.”

A pang of hurt shot through your heart. You’d known you’d hurt her, you just hadn’t expected her to write you off completely.

“He’ll get tired of you, too, sooner or later,” she said, sourly. “You’ll be ready to grovel at my feet for forgiveness once he gets rid of you.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. You glanced at Osamu, who was gripping a pen tightly.

“You have no right to say that to her,” Osamu said. “I didn’t get tired of you. If anything, you got tired of me. Always flirting with other men, going home with them, pretending like I didn’t know.”

Your mom gaped at him, speechless. “I-I…”

“Yeah, I knew about the other men. I know you tried Atsumu and the rest of his team,” Osamu said. “And I know that this is what you did in your first marriage. So don’t talk about Y/n being the other woman.”

“You cheated on Dad?” You asked, tearfully.

“She did, with me,” Osamu said. You looked at him. “I didn’t know she was married when we met, much less that her husband was dying.”

“Don’t turn this on me,” your mom said. “This is about your infidelity!”

“This is all around fucked up,” you said, wiping a stray tear away. “Just sign the papers and let’s go.”

You stood up abruptly, storming to your room where your bags were already packed, along with a few of Osamu’s bags.

You sat on your bed, head in your hands. You’d known she’d been a bad wife, but you’d never thought she’d cheated, much less while your own father had been on his deathbed.

“Baby?”

You looked up at Osamu in the doorway.

“Are you ready?” He asked. You nodded. You slung your backpack on your back and pulled your suitcase behind you.

“I just want to leave this house,” you mumbled. Osamu kissed your forehead as he grabbed his own bags.

“Let’s go,” he said. You followed him down the hallway.

You didn’t say anything to your mom as you slipped on your shoes at the front door.

“I’ll be back for the rest of my things later this week,” Osamu said.

“My apartment should be ready tomorrow,” Osamu said as you dropped your bags in the hotel room.

“The one in Osaka?” You asked. “Near my school?”

“The very one,” he said, wrapping his arms around you. “Now, tell me how ya actually feel, baby.”

You broke down. You buried your face in his chest and sobbed. Osamu rubbed your back as you cried.

“I can’t believe she cheated on my dad,” you cried. “She was- she was the love of his life!”

“I know, baby, I know,” he said, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Let it out.”

“He was on his deathbed, and she was out with some kid,” you sobbed. “He loved her so much and she just doesn’t deserve it! I wish she’d died instead!”

“I’m glad she didn’t,” Osamu said. “Never would’ve gotten to meet ya if she had.”

You nodded. “That’s probably the only good thing she’s ever done for me. Bring me to you.”

“I love ya,” Osamu said. “No matter how it happened, I’m here and I love ya so I can’t be too mad.”

“I love you, too, Samu,” you said.

“Are ya finished crying?” He asked, wiping away your tears. You nodded as he cupped your face. “Good, yer too pretty to cry. Now, I paid extra for a room with a jacuzzi, just for ya.”

“Just for me?” You asked. He nodded. “So you won’t be joining me?”

“Okay, maybe it’s for both of us,” Osamu said, smiling down at you.

“Good,” you said, resting your head against his chest. He hugged you tightly, kissing your forehead.

“Let me start the jacuzzi, yeah?” Osamu said, pulling away from you.

“Hurry up,” you said as he walked towards the bathroom. He turned and smiled at you.

“Almost sounds like yer gonna miss me,” he said.

“I’ll miss you terribly,” you said, dramatically clutching your heart. “Be careful with my heart, you’ve taken it with you.”

“As long as you’re careful with mine,” he said. You smiled as he disappeared into the bathroom and fell back onto the large bed.

Your phone rang from your pocket. You pulled it out and saw that Atsumu was video calling you.

You smiled widely as you answered.

“Uncle Tsumu!” You exclaimed as Atsumu came into focus. “What’s up?”

“The boys and I are on our way to the Olympics!” Atsumu exclaimed. You heard Bokuto and Hinata whoop in the background.

“That’s great!” You said. “Wait, does that mean you’re with the Ushijima Wakatoshi?”

“He’s sitting right across from me,” Atsumu said, turning the phone so that Ushijima was on the screen.

“Introduce me!” You screeched, sitting up excitedly. “Please, please, please!”

“What do I get in return?” Atsumu asked.

“I’ll convince Samu to let you join again,” you said quickly. Osamu poked his head out of the bathroom.

“Who’s joining what?” He asked.

“Atsumu if he introduces me to Ushiwaka,” you said.

“Ushijima-san, can you come here?” Atsumu asked, looking offscreen.

“The jacuzzi is ready, by the way,” Osamu said. You glanced at him.

“Just a minute,” you said.

“This is L/n Y/n, the number two setter in the nation right now,” Atsumu said.

You smiled and waved at the camera.

“I’ve heard of you,” Ushijima said. “You play very well. I can see why you are so highly ranked.”

“Oh, thank you!” You said, beaming. “I just wanted you to know I’m a big fan. You’re basically the reason I kept playing volleyball in high school.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Continue to play well.”

Ushijima disappeared offscreen.

“You’re the best uncle ever,” you said as Atsumu appeared back on screen.

“Of course, anything for my favourite niece,” he said.

“Baby, that water’s going to get cold,” Osamu said.

“I have to go, I’ll talk to you later,” you said. “Good luck at the Olympics!”

“Bye, doll,” Atsumu said. You ended the call and tossed your phone on the bed.

“I’m coming, baby,” you called, stripping from your clothes as you walked towards the bathroom. Osamu was slowly sinking into the steaming water. You climbed over the side and made yourself comfortable in Osamu’s arms.

“What’s this about Atsumu joining us again?” Osamu asked, wrapping his arms around you.

“He introduced me to the Ushijima Wakatoshi,” you said. “He deserves it.”

“I introduced you to four professional volleyball players,” Osamu complained.

“Have I not more than paid you back for that?” You asked. “I mean, I’ve barely spent more than an hour away from your cock this week.”

“Still not enough,” Osamu said, leaning down to kiss your neck. His hands drifted to your waist, holding you as his hips ground up. You moaned as his cock slid through your folds.

“Samu, wanna feel you,” you said, grabbing onto his arms. You bit your lip as he grabbed his cock, lining it up with your entrance.

“Whatever you want, baby,” he said, slowly pulling you down on his cock. You moaned softly as your walls molded around him. He pulled you back against his chest and held you closely.

“Love you,” you said, relaxing into his hold.

“I love ya more,” Osamu said, coiling his arms around your waist.

You leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as Osamu gently bounced you on his cock.

“Doin’ so good,” Osamu said. He moaned lightly in your ear. “Yer lil pussy is clenchin’ me so tight.” You reached down to rub your clit in slow circles. Osamu pulled you flush against his chest, rutting his hips up, forcing his cock deeper.

“Oh, Samu,” you moaned as your thighs trembled. You rubbed your clit faster, matching the pace of Osamu’s thrusts. “‘m gonna-“

“I know, baby, g’head and cum around my cock,” Osamu said. “Feel ya flutterin’ and clenchin’ ‘round me. Cum on my cock, sweet girl.”

You threw your head back as you gushed around Osamu’s cock. Your fingers slowly came to a stop, unable to move anymore. He knocked your useless fingers out of the way and placed his own fingers on your clit. You squealed as his fingers moved wildly over your clit.

“Samu!” You yelped, grabbing his forearm. He leaned down and kissed your neck sweetly.

“Ya got more in ya, sweet girl,” he murmured against your skin. “Gonna make ya squirt on my cock.”

You moaned as he lightly pinched your clit. Osamu smiled against your skin as your back arched against him.

“Gonna cum again,” you moaned, fingernails biting into Osamu’s forearm.

“Good girl,” Osamu said, kissing your neck. You cried out as Osamu’s fingers sped up.

“Samu, Samu, Samu!” You cried. Your eyes burned with tears as your walls clamped around him and you came for the second time.

“Still didn’t squirt around my cock,” Osamu said, disapprovingly. You frowned as he pulled his hand away from your clit.

“No, no, no-“

“Come on, baby,” Osamu said, lifting you up. You whimpered as his cock slid out of you. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you cum again.”

He carried you into the bedroom and tossed you on the bed. Water droplets dripped onto the blanket below you.

You whined and reached towards Osamu. He looked at you from where he was kneeling on the foot of the bed. He seemed downright predatory as he eyed your wet, naked body. His grey eyes darkened as you spread your legs.

“Samu,” you whimpered, rubbing your swollen, sensitive clit. You whined. Your fingers weren’t enough. Weren’t big and calloused and long like Osamu’s. “Samu, I need you. Please.”

“Can’t make yerself cum, baby?” He asked, crawling towards you. “Need me to do it for ya?”

“Yes!” You cried. Your fingers moved faster as Osamu pressed his lips against the inside of your ankle.

“Maybe try fingering yerself,” Osamu said. He kissed up your leg slowly, lips never leaving your skin.

You desperately shoved three fingers in your wet heat. It still wasn’t enough. You needed Osamu. His fingers, his tongue, his cock.

You pumped your fingers in and out of yourself, crying in frustration. You just couldn’t reach that spot in you. Even when your fingertips did brush against it, they just didn’t feel right. You’d become accustomed to rough, calloused fingers and cool, smooth metal.

You whined in frustration as your thighs shook. Osamu’s lips were pressed to the bend of your knee.

“Samu,” you whined.

“What is it, sweet girl? What’s the matter?” He asked, softly.

“‘S’not enough,” you said, frustrated. “Need you, now.”

“Keep tryin’, baby,” he mumbled, kissing the inside of your thigh. He was so close to where you needed him, you could feel his body heat on your sensitive skin.

He pressed a kiss to your pubic area, and you nearly sobbed in relief.

“Samu,” you said, reaching down to touch his hair when he moved and pressed his lips to your other ankle. You couldn’t help it. You burst into tears.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Samu said, immediately abandoning your leg to cup your face in his hands.

“I-I-I need you!” You sobbed. “Need you in me, Samu, please!”

“I’m sorry, baby, let me make ya feel better, okay?” He asked. You nodded. “Now, don’t cry, my sweet girl. Okay? Let daddy take care of ya.”

Osamu lined his cock up with your entrance. He braced his arms on either side of your head and in one, swift motion, his cock hit your cervix.

You moaned loudly, wrapping your arms and legs around him. Your eyes rolled back as he pounded into you, his hips slapping against yours almost painfully.

“Feel better, my sweet girl?” Osamu grunted. You nodded, unable to find the right words. “Ya were made for my cock, takin’ it so well. When yer my lil housewife, ya’ll be takin’ like this whenever I want, isn’t that right, princess?”

“Yes, daddy,” you moaned, digging your nails into his back. His muscles flexed under your touch. “Gonna take your cock whenever you want. Always want your cock in me.”

“Gonna be my sweet, lil housewife?” Osamu asked. You nodded. “Move in with me.”

“Samu,” you gasped. He threw one of your legs over his shoulder, thrusting into you even deeper.

“Tell me ya will,” he said. He bit his bottom lip as your walls clenched around him. “Can’t- can’t live without ya.”

“Yes, yes!” You exclaimed as he reached between your bodies and rubbed over your clit with two skillful fingers. Your back arched as he pushed your other leg up, knee knocking against your chest.

“Fuck, I love ya,” he moaned, rubbing your clit furiously.

“L-love you,” you stuttered as your stomach tightened. “Gonna, gonna cum!”

Osamu’s hips sped up.

“Come on, squirt all over my cock, sweet girl,” Osamu said. “And I’ll fill ya up, just how ya like.”

You pulled him down, kissing him roughly. Your teeth clicked together painfully, but Osamu’s tongue pressed against yours made it easy to ignore the pain.

Your walls fluttered around him and he groaned into your mouth.

“Fuck,” you hissed as Osamu pulled away.

“Come on,” Osamu said, gritting his teeth as he pushed your legs against your chest. He slapped your clit.

“Samu!” You moaned. His eyes lit up as he slapped your clit again.

“Squirt. On. My. Cock.” Each word was accented with a brutal slap against your clit that had you screaming. Your thighs shook as your back arched. Your hands balled into fists in the wet blanket below you as your orgasm exploded out of you.

“Fuck, Samu!” You shouted, throwing your head back. Osamu moaned as your juices covered his stomach, dripping down to his heavy balls. His balls slapped wetly against your skin as he chased his own orgasm.

“Gonna fill ya up,” he groaned. It took all of your energy to stay conscious as he rutted into you.

Osamu moaned loudly and buried his cock deep as it twitched and spurted out his cum.

“Fuck,” he breathed, collapsing next to you. He cuddled into your side, nuzzling your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.

You smiled weakly as cum leaked out of you and down onto the blanket.

“I love ya,” Osamu murmured, pressing his lips against your neck.

“I love you,” you said. You twisted around to face him. “You really want me to live with you?”

“Of course,” Osamu said. “Can’t imagine it any other way.” He pecked your lips and pulled you closer. “I wanna wake up next to ya every mornin’ and fall asleep next to ya every night.”

Tears burned at your eyes. You rubbed them furiously, trying not to cry.

“Aw, baby, why are ya cryin’?” He asked, smiling at you. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs.

“I just- I really, really love you,” you said, sniffling. Osamu smiled and pulled you into his chest, kissing your head.

“I really, really love ya, too, baby.”

“I just think the bed should go a little more to the right,” you said, watching as Osamu and his friend, Suna, moved the heavy frame. “Hmm, does that seem centered to you?”

“It fucking better be,” Suna said, standing next to you. “Actually, a little to the right.”

“Fuck ya,” Osamu said, pushing the frame. You bit your lip as his arms flexed.

“Stop being horny,” Suna said, pushing you gently.

“I’m not!” You denied, smiling. “I’m just appreciating the view.”

“I’m not moving this damn thing another inch, I don’t care if it’s centered or not,” Osamu said, standing up. He pushed his shirt up as he placed his hand on his side.

“It’s good, baby,” you said. Osamu wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Let’s take a break,” Osamu said. Suna whipped out his phone.

“Let me show you all the embarrassing photos I have of Osamu and Atsumu,” he said with a grin.

“Ooo, yes, please,” you said. You leaned over to look at his phone.

“Baby, no,” Osamu groaned, grabbing your hand and tugging you away. “Don’t look at those. Why do ya even still have those?”

“Because I like to show Atsumu’s fans him getting his ass kicked,” Suna said, following the two of you to the living room.

“He did get his ass kicked a lot, didn’t he?” Osamu said, smiling.

“So you won?” You asked, sitting on the couch.

Osamu scoffed as he sat next to you. “Of course I did.”

“Atsumu is a pussy,” Suna said, handing you his phone. You giggled as you watched high school Osamu and Atsumu roll around on the gym floor.

“Can you send me that?” You asked. “I need it for when Atsumu gets on my nerves.”

“Give me your number,” Suna said. You typed in your number, saving it under your name.

“Come here,” you said, pulling Suna closer to you. “Smile.” You snapped a selfie and saved it as your contact photo.

“Come on, let’s finish the bedroom before ya two bond anymore,” Osamu said, standing up. He stretched his arms out, shirt riding up and showing just a sliver of his tanned stomach. You licked your lips.

“Shouldn’t you be happy that your girlfriend and best friend are getting along?” You asked, standing up.

“Yeah, we could hate each other,” Suna said.

“I knew ya two would get along,” Osamu said. “I almost didn’t want to introduce ya because of it.”

“What? Scared we might replace you?” You teased.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just finish the bedroom.”

“All that’s left is the bookshelf and the bedside tables,” Suna said.

“The bookshelf is oak, so it’s pretty heavy,” you said. “I want it facing the bed.”

“Come on,” Osamu said, bracing himself on one side of the large bookshelf. Suna grabbed the other side and grunted as they lifted it.

“Careful,” you said, following them to the bedroom.

They carefully sat it down in front of the bed and pushed it back and forth until it was centered.

“There,” Osamu said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. “Now you can start unpacking your books while we get the bedside tables in here.”

You nodded as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Ew,” Suna said, wrinkling his nose.

“You wanna kiss, Sunarin?” Osamu asked, puckering his lips. You giggled.

“Shut up and let’s get these bedside tables in here so I can leave you two to your domesticity,” Suna said.

“Can you help me move the books in here first?” You asked. “It’s the three boxes by the front door.

Suna and Osamu nodded.

“Thank you,” you said.

Suna and Osamu lifted the boxes with a huff as you pushed yours across the hardwood floor.

“Work smarter, not harder,” you said, smirking as they struggled to carry the boxes.

“Why do you read so much?” Suna asked, carefully dropping the box in front of the bookshelf.

“Yeah, why can’t ya read on yer phone like everyone else?” Osamu asked, dropping his box next to Suna’s. You pushed yours across the bedroom and shrugged.

“I like real books,” you said, opening the first box. You grabbed an armful of books and carefully arranged them on the bookshelf.

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people,” Suna groaned.

Your face burned. “I like to have a system,” you said, defensively.

“I think it’s cute, baby,” Osamu said. “Do ya want me to help?”

“Thanks, but I’ll do it myself, you two finish up the bedroom,” you said. Osamu nodded and gestured for Suna to follow him into the living room.

You quickly organised the bookshelf, adding in Osamu’s few books alongside your own as you went.

“I think we’re done,” Osamu said as you stood up, stretching out. You looked around the finished bedroom. “All that’s left is unpacking our clothes and whatever.”

“We can do that tomorrow,” you said, standing in between Osamu and Suna. Osamu wrapped his arm around your waist.

“We’ll have it really looking like home tomorrow,” Osamu said.

“I’m excited,” you said, smiling widely. “It’s our first night in our apartment.”

“We’ll have to break it in,” Osamu said, winking at you.

Suna gagged. “I’m taking that as my cue to leave. Call me if you need my help tomorrow, I’ll be in town for the next week.”

“Thanks for your help, Suna,” you said as the three of you walked to the front door.

“It’s no problem,” he said.

“I’ll make dinner one night this week, you should come by,” Osamu said. “Just as a thank you.”

“Let me know when and I’ll be here,” Suna said. He slipped his shoes on before saying goodbye.

“Bye!” You called after him. You shut the door behind you and immediately, Osamu was pulling you into him, kissing you and running his hands down your sides and up your shirt.

“Wanted to do this all day,” he mumbled, not pulling away from you for even a second.

“S-Samu, we should shower first,” you said as he kissed down your neck. “We’re all dirty and sweaty from moving.”

“Who cares?” He asked, pushing you against the door. “Jus’ gonna make ya dirtier and sweatier.”

“Sa- ohh.” You moaned as he bit and sucked at a spot on your neck. “Samu.”

“Come on, I wanna break in that new bed we got,” he said. You wrapped your arms and legs around him as he lifted you.

“Careful,” you mumbled, licking and sucking on his neck.

“Need ya,” he groaned, dropping you on the unmade bed. You pulled him down on top of you as you leaned back.

“Samu,” you moaned against his lips.

“Jus’-Jus’ let me take care o’ ya,” he breathed, pulling away and taking your shirt with him. You bit your lip as he took off his own shirt, revealing his lightly toned stomach and the faint happy trail that disappeared into his shorts.

“You’re so…” you said, running your hands along his stomach and up to his chest. “Fucking hot.”

“Baby,” he moaned as you pinched his pebbled nipple.

“I can’t keep my hands off of you,” you said, pushing him onto his back. You straddled him and pulled your bra off. Your hands went back to his chest as you groped and kneaded his pecs. You pinched and teased his nipples before leaning down and kissing his jawline.

“Stop- ah- teasing,” Osamu moaned as you rolled your hips. Even through four layers, you could feel his fat cock throbbing.

“No,” you said, kissing down his neck, leaving red bruises in random spots leading all the way down to his pecs. You rolled your hips again and groaned as his cock twitched under you.

“At least let me feel ya,” he said. His hands fisted the sheets as you sunk your teeth into the soft flesh of his right pec.

You rolled off of him and shimmied out of your shorts, leaving you in just a pair of white, cotton panties. You unbuttoned Osamu’s shorts and pulled them off before straddling him again. You leaned back down and sucked one of his nipples into your mouth while one of your hands groped his chest and the other played with the elastic of his boxers.

“Fuck,” he swore, throwing his head back as you ground yourself against his cock. “More, more, I wan’ more, please, baby.”

You pulled back, admiring the masterpiece that was Osamu’s chest, painted with bite marks and bruises. He was breathing heavily, chest rising and falling.

“Open,” you said, grabbing his jaw lightly. His mouth fell open, tongue poking out. You leaned over him and shoved three fingers in his mouth. “Suck.”

He drooled as he sucked on your fingers, gagging as your fingers hit the back of his throat. You moaned as you rolled your hips.

“Good boy,” you said, pulling your fingers away. Osamu leaned up, following them before leaning back. “Now watch me.”

You leaned back on one arm as Osamu propped his head up on a pillow. You shoved your spit covered hand down your panties, rubbing your clit slowly. You moaned softly.

“Samu,” you breathed. You felt his cock jump under you. “Samu, feels so good.”

“Wanna see,” Osamu groaned, grabbing your hips. “Please.”

You shook your head as you moaned again. A wet spot formed in the crotch of your panties, turning the thin fabric translucent. Osamu groaned and bucked his hips, looking for anything that would give him the friction he wanted.

“Gonna cum,” you gasped, rubbing your clit faster.

Osamu whined as the wet spot on your panties grew. “Samu, Samu, Samu!”

You sucked in a sharp breath as your walls clenched around nothing and your juices gushed out, coating your panties and fingers. You rubbed your clit slowly, moaning as you milked your orgasm. Cum dripped down, wetting Osamu’s boxers as you leaned up. You struggled not to just collapse in Osamu’s chest as you braved your hands on his stomach. You could feel his cock throbbing against your wet cunt.

“Wanna taste,” Osamu pleaded. You rolled off of him, breathing heavily as you pulled your ruined panties off.

“You really want a taste?” You asked. He nodded. “Open up.”

Again, his mouth fell open without a second thought. You shoved your panties in his mouth, gagging him. He let out a muffled moan.

You slowly inched his boxers down, releasing his heavy cock. It bobbed before laying against his stomach. You straddled him again, slotting his cock between your wet folds. You dragged your hips against him. The head of his cock teased your abused clit as you whimpered from the sensitivity. You tensed as cool metal shocked your hot skin. You relaxed as Osamu grabbed you hips, guiding you as you ground against him. You reached down and guided the tip of his cock into your entrance. You whined as you teased yourself with just the tip.

“Mm-mff,” Osamu said, his words muffled by cotton. You reached up and pulled your panties out of his mouth. “More, take more. Please, can’t take it anymore.”

You shook your head, rotating your hips. His neglected cock throbbed.

“Please, please,” Osamu begged. His fingernails dug into your hips. “Let me be in ya.”

“You teased me until I cried last week in the hotel,” you said, letting the tip of his cock fall out of you. He whined. “So until you cry, I’m not stopping.”

You rolled your hips. His cock dragged against your clit deliciously as you used his body.

“Con-consider yourself lucky I’m not riding your thighs,” you stuttered, moaning as his piercing teased your clit. “I thought about it.”

“Baby, please,” Osamu begged, eyes wide and lower lip poking out in a pout. “Wanna be in ya, wanna cum.”

“I’m not stopping you,” you said.

“Wanna cum in ya,” he said, frustrated. He’s eyes were glossy and you knew it was only a matter of time before tears started rolling down his cheeks.

“I want you to cum inside me, baby,” you cooed, rubbing your hands over his tense stomach. “But you know what I want.”

“I-I can’t,” he stuttered. You tutted and rolled your hips. The tip of his cock snagged your hole and Osamu let out a whimper.

“Come on, baby, I want you in me so bad,” you said, arching your back. “Want you to breed me, want you to knock me up with your babies, please daddy.”

“Baby,” Osamu whimpered as you took the tip inside your tight walls.

“Gonna cum again,” you moaned, rotating your hips. You moaned loudly, reaching down to rub your clit. Your walls clamped around the head of Osamu’s cock, milking it as you came.

“Baby, fuck, no, I’m gonna cum,” Osamu cried. His lashes were filled with unshed tears as you pulled away from him. His cock twitched as he came. You ran your fingers through the pool of cum that was on his stomach and licked them clean.

You hummed. “Baby, what‘s the matter? I thought you wanted to cum inside me.” You pouted as his lower lip wobbled. He blinked slowly and a tear ran down his face.

“Oh, baby, don’t cry,” you cooed, cupping his face. You kissed his tears away. “Gonna make you feel better.”

You pumped his cock a few times, bringing it back to hardness.

“Baby, please,” he whimpered as you thumbed his slit. You glanced up at him. Tears were still falling down his cheeks. “Please, I wanna be in ya.”

You smiled at him and straddled him once again. You both moaned as you sank down his length.

“Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya, I love ya so much, wanna fill ya up, fuck, please,” Osamu babbled. You wiped his tears away then grabbed his hands as you bounced on his cock. He intertwined your fingers, bringing both of your hands up to his lips. “I love ya.”

“I love you, Samu,” you said as his cock nudged your cervix. “Fuck, ‘m sorry for making you cry, baby.”

“Liked it,” he mumbled. He threw his head back with a moan as you swivelled your hips. “Liked it so much. Feels so good.”

“Oh?” You said. You moaned as Osamu rolled his hips. “You like when I take control?”

“Yes, yes!” He gasped as you sped up. You let out a choked moan as his hips lifted to meet yours.

“Let me choke you,” you moaned, running one of your hands up to his throat. He nodded as his eyes closed. You squeezed lightly. Osamu groaned loudly, his throat rumbling under your hand.

“More, more,” he said, reaching up to grab your wrist. You squeezed harder and his eyes rolled back with a moan.

“Fuck, so pretty,” you said. You moaned loudly as he bucked his hips up.

“Fuck,” Osamu choked out as his cock twitched. You loosened your grip on his throat, letting oxygen flood his lungs. “Gonna cum, gonna cum!”

“Fill me up, Osamu, please,” you moaned as his cock nudged your cervix. “Please, wanna be full.”

Osamu moaned loudly, pulling your hips down to bury his cock in your cunt as he painted your walls white. You reached down to rub your clit as he filled you up, clenching around him as you came. You both breathed heavily as you collapsed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you.

“So, I thought Atsumu was the sub,” you breathed.

“I can still flip ya over and bend ya in half,” Osamu said. He chuckled as you snorted.

“I doubt either of us could move that much right now,” you said.

“I think yer wrong,” Osamu said. “I plan on fucking ya in every room of the apartment before the sun comes up.”

“I say we continue this in the kitchen then,” you said as your stomach grumbled. “I’m starving.”

“We only have rice,” Osamu said. You groaned and rolled off of him.

“Pizza or sushi?” You asked, grabbing your phone from the bedside table.

“Sushi,” Osamu said. “Ya think we can christen the living room before they get here?”

“Only one way to find out,” you said, dialling the number to the sushi place. You winked at Osamu as the phone rang.

He molded his body against yours, nuzzling your neck as you ordered the food.

“We have twenty-five minutes,” you said, placing your phone back on the bedside table.

“More than enough time,” Osamu said. He scooped you up from the bed and carried you to the living room.

“No, no, absolutely not!” You exclaimed, laughing loudly.

“Come on, let me try it!” Osamu said.

“You are not eating sushi off my body, sorry, but no,” you said, shaking your head.

“I’ll feed ya, too,” he said. You laughed as he pouted.

“Okay, fine,” you said. “But not tonight.”

“I’ll plan it,” Osamu said. “Maybe I’ll even invite our friends.”

“Oh, absolutely not,” you said. “Atsumu is not eating sushi off of my naked body.”

“What about Rin?” Osamu asked.

“I thought you didn’t like to share,” you said. “Food or otherwise.”

“Is it a crime to want to show off my beautiful, amazing, sexy girlfriend?” Osamu asked. Your face burned.

“Shut up,” you said, stealing a piece of sushi from his plate. “We can discuss details later.”

“I love ya,” Osamu said, smiling widely.

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumbled. “Love you, too.”

Osamu smiled again, and held out a piece of sushi for you. You smiled before copying him.

“Suna’s not allowed to take pictures,” you said. “In fact, I don’t want him to have his phone at all.”

“Fair enough,” Osamu said, shrugging and finishing off his roll. “Wanna help me wash dishes?”

“Yes,” you said, chewing the last piece of sushi as Osamu gathered the trash and dishes he’d insisted you’d used.

You followed after him, wearing only his t-shirt. Osamu dropped the dishes in the sink then immediately caged you against the counter.

“Ya look cute in my shirt,” he mumbled, nosing at your neck. He kissed your skin softly before leaning up to kiss your lips.

“Why, thank you,” you said, putting your arms around his neck. He lifted you and sat you down on the edge of the counter, pushing the too long shirt up to reveal your leaking cunt. His loads from earlier were coating your thighs as they slowly leaked out of your used cunt.

“Aw, baby, yer leaking my cum everywhere,” Osamu cooed, gathering his cum on his fingers and pushing it back into your hole. “Ya want more?”

“Please,” you begged as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He held his cum covered fingers up to your lips. You grabbed his wrist as you took them in your mouth, sucking and licking them clean. You looked up at him through your lashes. His eyes were dark and dilated as he watched your tongue move up and down his fingers.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned. He pulled his hand away and shoved his shorts down around his ankles. His cock bobbed heavily.

“Gonna breed me again, Samu?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his chest and pulling him closer, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Gonna put your babies in me?”

“Fuck, yes,” he groaned, lining his cock up with your entrance. “Gonna make ya a mommy, fuck.” He moaned as his cock slowly filled you up, still stretching you out even after filling you up twice before this.

“Osamu, wanna have your babies,” you moaned as he thrusted into you at a nice, normal pace. You let your head drop onto his shoulder as he thrusted deeper, cock pressing painfully against your cervix.

“You will, baby,” he said, thrusting harder. You whimpered as his cock head broke past your cervix.

“S’too deep,” you moaned. Your fingernails dug into his back as he pushed deeper and deeper.

“Shh, shh, you can take it, baby,” Osamu said as you whined and whimpered. “Takin’ my cock so well, yer so good for me, princess.”

You moaned into his shoulder as he pushed your shirt up, squeezing and groping your breasts. He rocked into you at a steady pace, focusing more on thrusting deeper and deeper than harder.

“So deep in me,” you moaned against his warm skin. “Can feel you in my throat.”

“What was that, baby?” Osamu asked. “Want me in yer throat?”

“Can feel you in my throat,” you said, louder. “You’re so deep in me.”

Osamu snapped his hips against yours, punching past your cervix again, and stilling. You let out a long, low moan.

“Ya can feel me here, baby?” Osamu asked, pressing his hand against the small bulge at the bottom of your stomach. You whined and nodded. “What about here?” He pushed you back to face him and wrapped his hand around your throat.

“Samu,” you moaned as he gently squeezed the sides of your throat. Your walls clenched around him. He slowly started to thrust into you again.

“If ya wanted me t’ choke ya, ya jus’ had t’ ask,” he said. You breathed shallowly as he squeezed harder.

“More, more,” you breathed, holding on to his wrist as your lungs started to burn. “Fuck me.”

“Ya want more?” Osamu asked. His hips sped up, slapping against your noisily as he pressed down on your throat.

You couldn’t speak as he pounded into you, fucking past your cervix with every thrust. Your lungs burned and your head spun from lack of oxygen.

“Sa-mu,” you choked, holding onto his forearm loosely. He grunted and thrusted into you harder.

“Gonna cum around my cock, baby?” He asked, grunting as your walls clenched around him. You couldn’t answer, not even able to nod your head in response.

“Can’t answer? Aw, is my baby fucked dumb?” He cooed. You could barely comprehend his words as your head swam.

“My dumb, lil baby,” Osamu cooed, letting his hand loosen. You gasped as oxygen flooded your lungs. Your head spun and you moaned as your walls fluttered around Osamu’s cock. “Cum around my cock.”

“Cumming,” you gasped as Osamu’s hand tightened around your throat again. Your eyes rolled back as you gushed around him. Osamu fucked you through your orgasm, each thrust accompanied by the sound of Osamu’s skin against yours and a loud squelch as your juices dripped down your skin.

“Feels so good to be in control,” Osamu said, smiling wickedly as he choked you. “I control everything you do. When you cum, when you breathe. I love that you let me use you like a lil doll.”

You smiled as Osamu kissed you roughly. He released your throat and pulled back.

“Samu,” you whined.

“Open.” He didn’t give you a choice as he squeezed your cheeks, forcing your mouth open. You stuck your tongue out as he gathered spit in his mouth.

“My good, sweet girl,” he cooed. He spat in your mouth before kissing you messily. A mix of yours and his spit ran down your chins as he devoured you.

“Gonna cum in you,” he groaned as he pulled back, strands of saliva still connecting you two.

“Please, please,” you begged, wrapping your arms around his chest and digging your nails into the back of his shoulders. You pulled him in deeper with your legs wrapping around him tighter. “Knock me up, Samu, please.”

“Ya gonna cum with me?” He asked, rolling his hips. You nodded as he reached down to rub your clit. You moaned loudly.

“Gonna fill ya up, sweet girl,” Osamu moaned. You nodded and let your head fall against his shoulder. He moaned as you licked and sucked at his neck.

“Fuck,” you hissed as his cock twitched inside you. “Cum in me.”

Osamu grunted as he slapped your clit.

“Wan’ ya to cum ‘round my cock,” he said, slapping your clit again. Your thighs trembled as he rubbed your clit in fast circles.

“Samu, Samu,” you cried. “Gonna cum.”

You moaned, long and high pitched as your walls clamped down around him. He groaned as you gushed around him. His cock throbbed and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his cum.

You whimpered as he pulled out, clenching around nothing and pushing his cum out. He tutted and used his fingers to push it back in.

“Be a good girl and keep my cum in you,” he said.

You nodded and leaned back against the cabinets as he pulled his shorts up and started washing the dishes.

“Samu,” you murmured, carefully climbing off the counter. Your legs wobbled and you quickly wrapped your arms around Osamu, trying to keep yourself upright.

“Be careful, baby,” he said, drying the dishes. “You should’ve stayed on the counter until I was done. Come ‘ere.”

He gently twisted around in your arms and scooped you up, holding you closely to his chest.

“I love you,” you mumbled as he carried you through your bedroom and into the connected bathroom.

“I love ya, too, baby,” he said, kissing your forehead as he set you down on the marble countertop.

He started the bath and turned back towards you. “Now, stay there until I get back. Okay?”

You nodded and leaned back against the mirror. You could feel Osamu’s cum leaking out of you, so you leaned down and pushed it back in. You moaned softly as you thrusted your finger in and out, coating them in Osamu’s cum. You licked your fingers clean and pushed them back into you.

“What’s this?” Osamu asked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe.

“D-Didn’t wanna lose your cum,” you moaned, using your other hand to rub your clit. “Kept leaking out.”

“Want me to get ya a plug, baby?” Osamu asked, watching hungrily as you fingered yourself. You nodded.

“Don’t wanna lose any,” you said. You moaned as your walls fluttered around your fingers. “Wanna cum.”

“G’head, baby,” he said, stepping closer to you. He kneeled in front of you, spreading your legs as your thighs shook. “Come on, cum fer me.”

“Daddy,” you keened, back arching. You moaned loudly as you pulled your fingers out of your heat and focused on your clit. You cried out as Osamu spread your legs further. “Fuck, gonna-gonna—“ You cut off with a loud moan as you squirted into Osamu’s face. Your thighs rested on his shoulders as your juices dripped down his face.

He closed his eyes slowly. “Fuck me,” he groaned, palming himself through his shorts. “Yer so hot, baby.”

You slouched down as he turned the bathtub water off and then returned to his spot between your thighs.

“Samu, no, no more,” you moaned as he buried his face in your cunt. You tangled your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him away as he licked up your slit.

“Ya got more in ya,” he said, pulling back. He kissed the inside of your thigh gently before licking into your wet, hot heat. You squirmed as his tongue pushed into your hole, his nose bumping your clit as he slurped up a mixture of both of your cum.

“Samu,” you whined, tugging his hair. He groaned, sending vibrations straight to your cunt. He wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked roughly, desperately wanting you to cum in his face again.

“Come on, want ya t’ cum in my face,” he said, pulling back to breathe.

“Samu, it hurts,” you cried as he shoved three fingers in your abused hole. He ignored you as he flicked his tongue against your clit. Your eyes burned as your legs shook from overstimulation.

Osamu added a fourth finger as he thrusted in and out of you. His other hand palmed at his half hard cock through his shorts.

“Samu!” You squealed, thighs clamping around his head as he curled his fingers in you, dragging against that spongy spot. He curled his fingers again and again, sucking at your clit harshly.

“Fuck, fuck! Gonna cum! Samu!” Tears rolled down your cheeks as he pulled his fingers out of you and shoved his tongue in your stretched out hole as you came. Your juices gushed around his tongue as he moaned.

“That’s my girl,” he said, smiling as he leaned back on his feet. You breathed heavily as you leaned against the mirror, chest heaving. “Ya wanna get in the bath, now?”

You nodded. He carefully pulled his shirt off of you and pushed his shorts down before gently picking you up. He eased into the bathtub, rearranging you once he was comfortably leaning back in the hot water. You leaned against his chest. You crossed your arms and intertwined your fingers with his as you closed your eyes.

“Hey, baby?” Osamu asked.

“Hmm?” You hummed. He nosed your neck, pressing a few kisses against your skin before speaking again.

“Ya know I love ya,” he said, lips brushing against your ear. “Right?”

“I love you, too, Samu,” you said, leaning your head back on his shoulder.

“Only me?” He asked, kissing your shoulder.

“Only you.”

#only you #samu thoughts #cai writes #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu smut #osamu miya smut #osamu miya #osamu miya x reader #haikyuu smut #tw:femdom #tw:incest #tw:pseudoincest #haikyuu

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pluviophile-imagines · 5 years ago

Note

LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈

TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!

Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

Shinsou

To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.

He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.

The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.

You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.

Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.

“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.

“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.

Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.

Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.

You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.

You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.

By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.

What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.

You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.

Shigaraki

You’re not jealous.

No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.

Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.

You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.

And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.

He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.

Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”

Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.

He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.

You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.

This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.

You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.

“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.

You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”

He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”

“Yeah, she was.”

There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”

You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.

But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.

“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.

“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”

“Tomura… I—”

“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”

You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.

“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”

You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.

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cookinguptales · 3 years ago

Text

Love living out here in the forest, hate having to drive two hours every time I need to have blood drawn lmao.

Today we have to drive to the nearest town with a LabCorp because I need a lot of bloodwork done, which means I have to go on a long car ride without any food or electrolyte tablets (my love) in my system for about 12 hours. I have a whole host of chronic illnesses, so lbr, this is gonna fuck me up. Good chance I’ll be very iffy the next couple days. If you really need me, send me a chat or an ask so it doesn’t get lost in my notifications and I’ll get back to you when I can! I promise.

I say this because next week I am going to be even more iffy so just in case I don’t feel up to talking before then, I’m not dead! I’m just gonna be hooked up to an IV for several days lmao.

[cut for personal stuff]

I haven’t been talking about it really in-depth because frankly, I doubt people really want to hear the gory details of my personal life but like. Things have been pretty bad for the past eight months or so. Health-wise. I mean, they’re always pretty bad, but things have been... worse. I always joke about oh, I can’t see today, oh I can’t keep food down, oh my body sounds crazy today but like. Honestly speaking, it’s been really hard. My work has suffered, my writing has suffered, my mental health has suffered. The brain fog has been absolutely unreal. I can’t tell you how frustrated I’ve been with these stories in my brain that I can’t seem to draw out. I want to show you them so badly and I’m running out of time... Sigh.

I digress. I was in the process of getting signed up for ketamine treatments before the pandemic hit and I’ve finally gotten an appointment to get started next week. Again, I don’t really talk about it much in detail but like. Yeah, I’ve had MDD since I was in elementary school and there have been some very dangerous periods in my life. It’s extremely treatment resistant and if we’re being entirely honest, dark thoughts are just kind of the cosmic background radiation of my life and have been since I was too young to even understand what I was thinking about. It’s been even harder to push through lately, but ketamine has been shown to help in a lot of SSRI-resistant situations... idk. They say it should also help with the pain, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve sure heard that before.

(At least if no one else is having a good time, I’ve sure given some doctors a puzzle they enjoy...)

I’m kind of scared, honestly. It’s a daunting set of (somewhat experimental) procedures anyway, but also like... I’m scared that it won’t work and this will just be my brain forever? But I’m also scared that it will and I’m going to have to figure out how I’m going to afford this going forward. It’s not covered by my insurance. 🙃 So my brain’s kind of all over the place, but some of that is also that I’m hungry and dizzy as hell but I won’t get to eat or consume salt for another *checks watch* 4-5 hours. ;;

(Why yes, I’m sure I do sound very scattered rn. Don’t worry, I’m not the one driving. lmao)

idk, just trying to keep my head up. We have to drive all the way down to freaking San Francisco next week and I’m not looking forward to THAT drive, but I’m hoping I have the energy to do some grocery shopping down there. Again, love the forest. Hate the food selection out here in the middle of absolute nowhere. lmao

I do not know how the ketamine is going to affect me just like, frankly speaking, I usually don’t know how fucking any medication is going to affect my weird-ass body. I could be fine and happy as a clam posting about vampires next week! But I could also be out like a damn light and totally uncontactable. So heads up either way.

OH BUT SILVER LINING the doctor did say I’m allowed to take my motion sickness pills before we drive down today, and if you’ve ever been on the roads up in the far northern part of California, you will know why I about cried with relief lmao.

#just me #my notifs have been kind of a mess lately with DD #so if I miss any replies or anything I'm sorry ;;#asks and chats go to a separate inbox so that's a more reliable way to get my attention #look man I know this is a ramble but it's not like LJ still exists so you'll just have to put up with me

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omegawolverine · 4 years ago

Note

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

#shit self #asks #karl jacobs #discourse #fandom critical #mcyt fandom critical #dsmp fandom critical #ask to tag #ableism #only reason im even saying what he said in those tweets is bc this situation literally makes no sense otherwise and basically everyone on #twt already fucking exposed this shit to people in and outside the fandom by bitching #long post #bangerz

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dracosearlgreytea · 5 years ago

Text

indelicate marks (11)

indelicate marks: chapter eleven - the accusation

A/N: aaa okay so heres the next chapter! ive been lowkey stressed about posting this chapter as it took a lot to write, but i hope you enjoy it.. thank you so so so much for the increased support from everyone, if i havent replied to a comment dw i do read them! they literally transform my day no matter how i feel, so yeah just thank you. lotsa love - ivy

warnings: language, strong descriptions of ptsd/reliving bad memories, graphic descriptions of deep cuts and bleeding

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse @thatoneasrastan @biinspiration @honeymelon22

indelicate marks index

January and February, after the first meeting of the year, passed by quiet. Draco's state was getting worse. Every time you'd see him, even when you'd met twice a week, something about him was growing... darker. Sometimes it wasn't just the bags under his eyes, or the sharpness of his cheekbones. Sometimes it was the way his tone never lifted out of the monotonous state he tended to abandon around you. Sometimes it was the way he could hardly hold a conversation, or the anxiety would overwhelm him and you'd have to sit with him tucked into your chest, praying that his breathing would settle soon. But, somehow, within the misery that hung over the two of you, you also managed to find the friend you had waited so long for. Draco was funny. Dry, and witty, and frustratingly funny. The things that he'd say as a passing comment could make you double over in laughter. You'd always find his lips shooting up into that wicked grin you'd grown to adore. That smile was something you'd find few and far between, and its rarity only settled it closer to your heart. He was smart, too - a lot less stupid that he made himself out to be. Draco could easily give Granger a run for her money, if he wanted to. He had a secret passion for Muggle literature. Something, which you found out totally by mistake - and continued to bring up at any given opportunity just to annoy him. To your utter shock, Draco also played piano. He'd described an organ, back in Malfoy Manor. His parents would usually enchant to play by itself - but, his mother had still taken it upon herself to teach him how to play it when he was a child. The insights he offered you into his life were quite frankly fascinating. It was still odd. The dynamic between you was never quite settled; impermanent. There were little things you found yourself holding onto. Like his smile, or the way he frowned when he listened to you talk, as though he was really focusing on your words. Since your realisation at the beginning of the year, your affections for Draco had only grown. Most of the time, you'd manage to ignore it, only swallowing back the flutters in your chest. Because there was no way you could fancy Draco Malfoy. There was no way he would ever reciprocate, and there was no way it could ever work between you even if he did. And, it was nice. Being friends with someone. You could cope with the darkness he carried. You could cope with pushing away any indication of your developing attachment to him. Having someone to talk to, to even just be around - complicated or not - was a privilege you had never had. But, as much as you attempted to ignore it, the tension at Hogwarts was also getting a lot worse. Trying not to think about what would happen when you had to return home at the end of the year was difficult. Even the idea of having that mark on your arm was sickening. You didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that to take it, you would have to expose the mark that already sat on your forearm. Most likely, to the Dark Lord himself. The glares got worse. The comments got more threatening. Walking the corridors was not safe for you. Not when your parents had killed so many families of the students around you. It hadn't exactly been before, but now, with that suffocating atmosphere, it had only gotten worse. Keeping a firm grip on your wand at all times was second nature, at this point. You had been on your way to a meeting with Draco when your fears became too real. The feeling of someone following you had been tugging at your conscious for most of the day. But then, most people were watching you, anyway, eyes lingering on you in every hall or classroom you passed through. So, you'd only shrugged it off as your paranoia overreacting. It was still light. With winter beginning to pass, the nights were growing shorter. Weekly trips to the classroom were no longer spent in the dark, much to your appreciation. Just as you reached the last staircase leading to the third floor, it jumped into action. It swung away from your destination, and you ground your teeth, hanging onto the railings. Again, you only passed your mistake off as a busy mind - until you glanced behind you. The previous staircase had also moved. A distinct dread began to poison your gut. With the piece of staircase behind you gone, your only choice was to progress onto wherever this one would take you. You swallowed, staring up as the stairs docked. It lead onto a one-way corridor, a piece of the castle that was rarely used, and a quiver ran over your hand as you wrapped your fingers around your wand. Slipping it from your back pocket, you finally shifted. Someone wanted you in that corridor. Someone wanted you cornered. The second you stepped off of the stairs, it jolted away from you, only confirming your assumption. Stranded in the corridor, the lack of windows cast an eerie shadow down its length. There was only two classrooms coming off the sides, and one at the end - most likely locked, with a spell more powerful than 'alohamora' would fix. Edging forwards, you flung your eyes around you. Your heart was thudding dangerously in your chest - it was currently dinner. No one would be around to help if something happened, assuming anyone would help you. Draco was unlikely to come searching for you if you turned up late, waiting on the opposite side of the moving staircases. You only hoped you could reach the stairs before something bad could happen to you. Pausing, your eyes met the end doorway. It was ajar. You pressed yourself against the wall as you shifted closer - the opening only offered to show you a slice of darkness within. Someone could be, however, waiting for you inside. Hoping your curiosity would get the better of you. Preparing to jump you. Setting your wand upright and poised, you lifted your hand, before shoving the door open. Only, before you could get a glimpse inside, it had slammed shut in your face. You stumbled back a couple steps, true panic setting in. "Was it you?" A voice came from behind you. You'd walked straight into a trap. Taking in a shuddering breath, you spun to face the voice. A flicker of your brow, and you stared at the figure blocking the end of the corridor. "Potter?" He had emerged from one of the classrooms either side of you, wand clenched in his fist and eyes hard. Stupid, you're so stupid, you should have checked. "Was it you, Y/N?" Harry repeated, watching you with an unpredictable atmosphere to him. "Did you curse the necklace?" It took a second for any words to form on your lips. Your mind was going to into overdrive. Harry would not hurt you intentionally, you knew that much - he wasn't that type of person. But what he could do unintentionally... "I don't know what you're talking about." You said. Attempting to appeal to whatever friendship you'd had last year, you kept your voice as clear and honest as you could. Harry, however, did not shift. "It was you, or Malfoy." His voice lilted with questioning, and your jaw tightened. You had to remind yourself to keep breathing, act natural, even at the mention of Draco. Shit, what the fuck has Draco been doing? I know it's bad - it's the Dark Lord - but Merlin, if Harry is involved... "I said," You forced an eyebrow up at Harry in emphasis. "I don't know what you're talking about." Voice gruff, relief flooded through you. You'd managed to keep your composition. There was a million scenarios involving Draco running through your mind, and you bit back a shudder. "Then prove you're not one of them." Shit. Harry had gestured to your arm with his wand. You grew rigid in terror, a shaking whisper falling from your lips before you could swallow it back. "What?" "Show me your arm, and prove to me you're not a Deatheater." Harry said, voice a lot more forceful than before. No, no. No, this can't be happening - he wouldn't - he can't - "I don't have to prove anything to you, Potter." You spat - but there was no denying the quiver in your words. Sickness curling in the pit of your stomach, you clutched your wand, scrutinising Harry's every little movement. He shifted. It was so, so slight. Maybe he was moving towards you, maybe he was only adjusting his stance. It didn't matter, because before you could think, you raised your wand and shouted the first thing that came to mind. "Stupify-" "Expelliarmus!" You could only watch in utter horror as your wand flew through the air and clattered to the ground. All the way at the other end of the corridor. Behind Harry. No, no, no- You couldn't move. Frozen. It was as though you were in that cupboard again. Crushed against the wall, watching as two boys enchanted a blade and laughed at the way you choked for breath. "It's okay, Deatheater. You're going to get your mark soon." Harry was moving towards you now. You stumbled, falling back against the door, hands coming to press down on the handle. Locked. No escape. Breathing frantic, you could only stare at Harry with wide, angry eyes. You didn't speak as he grabbed your left arm, pulling it out in front of you. No, you didn't even struggle. You were still in that fucking broom cupboard. Harry's fingers burnt horribly against your skin, pushing up your sleeve. His eyes lingered on you as he did so, long enough to make your skin crawl. Then, he looked down. It burnt. Burnt, as though Harry had struck a match and put it to your flesh. He came to stare at you again, falling a few strides away from you as you snatched your arm back to your chest. You wanted to shout - no, scream at him, but you could do nothing but hold in the gasps of pain. Harry hadn't seen the blood. He hadn't seen the way the cuts had began to tear open, slowly. Excruciatingly. "Get the fuck away from me." It was hardly a whisper - more some inhuman, animalistic snarl. It was all you could manage. The flames were growing hotter and hotter and you'd forgotten how to breath. My wand. I need my wand. "Y/N - I'm so sorry - I-" "Go!" Something in Harry managed to click, seeing your contorted expression. With one last, horrified look, he turned and rushed away, the stairs swinging back to greet him as he did. The second he was out of sight, you let out a shuddering breath, daring a glance down to the state of your arm. Blood was already spilling down your fingers. It seeped into the fabric of your shirt, like the sea lapping at the shore - but bloodier, and a lot more sickening. "How does it feel to bleed, Deatheater? I bet you're fucking enjoying it, you sicko, just like your parents did." An involuntary whimper escaped you, unable to contain it with your mind so hazy from panic and pain. Agony was lacing its way up your arm and through your entire body, and you had to remind yourself - your wand. I need my wand. Staggering forward, you focused your gaze on your wand at the end of the corridor. Blood was spilling steadily onto floor, staining your shirt, but you refused to acknowledge it. Groans escaped your throat, scalding pain cutting deeper and deeper into your skin. Feeling the liquid thick on your hands, you, almost instinctively, gave it another look. Your entire sleeve was coated in red. An overwhelming nausea hit your gut. Falling against the wall, you desperately attempted to get your breath, but it only came in short pants. You'd barely made it halfway down the corridor. Harry had taken too long to leave, given the cuts too much time to reopen before the worst kicked in. Last time, with Draco, the reaction had been quick and easy. This time, you were alone, and wandless. Head spinning, you attempted to choke down a deep breath, and pushed forward. Everything was starting to blur a little, your head a spinning mess of thoughts. You couldn't focus. Tired. You felt so tired. You were close. You were so close to grabbing your wand, hands slick with blood as you stretched out your arm, shaking. Another step - a stumble. Your entire body crashed to floor. There was a terrible, harsh blow to the side of your head. Your ears filled with a high buzzing, sight wavering as you stared from your wand only inches away from you, to your left arm. Ten letters, red and clear. Tears rolled down your cheeks, but you didn't recognise them. It hurt, it hurt so bad, you couldn't think, couldn't breath. It was all a blur, really. A blur of torments and whispers. A blur of blade against skin. "Deatheater." "Y/N? Y/N-"

#draco x you #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy angst #harry potter fanfiction

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cryforwin · 5 years ago

Text

Wounded: a Kylo Ren x OC part 3

VENUS

"X2, can you please watch over the supreme leader, and if there are any irregularities in his heartbeat or oxygen levels come get me."

X2 beeped a yes and you left the operation room with General Hux

"What were you thinking, out of everyone on the field you had to choose Ren to help," he said

"I almost didn't help him but he was going to die I couldn't just leave him out there. And keep your thoughts down he can hear them," you said glancing back into the operation room's window the IV finally worked and he was sedated but you weren't sure what the extent of his powers was.

"He read your mind right?" he said smirking slightly "I know I've worked with him all this time he's been in my mind many times." He touched your coat stained with blood "Is this yours?"

Your hand shot up to your head forgetting about your gash on your head. It wasn't bleeding but the wound wasn't closed.

"I guess it is it will be healed soon."

"You fixed Ren up?"

Oh yeah, the supreme leader almost bled to death in your infirmary.

"Yeah, a blaster shot wound in the abdomen causing internal bleeding, broken ribs that should be mending currently and a really bad concussion."

"Ren doesn't get shot," he said matter of factly

"I don't know who shot him Artimedge I just do my job."

"Alright, no need to catch an attitude Venus I'm just saying something definitely went wrong."

"Well yeah a lot of things went wrong doesn't mean i-"

And then you saw them, six huge masked men dressed in all black. You heard stories of them of what they and the supreme leader do. Your stomach turned as they headed straight to you. You grabbed Artimedge's arm and he pushed you behind him making him some sort of human shield.

"Where is Master Ren girl?" one said to you

"He's resting right now." You surprised yourself your voice came out even and calm even though on the inside you felt like you could cry

"Why didn't you inform anyone that he was taken here." The one speaking broke from the group and approached you. Artimedge didn't move an inch as you were still behind him.

"For the safety of the supreme leader and myself I didn't put his name on the record because if I would they would've came and finished the job. The supreme leader was severely hurt and I'm afraid if I wasn't there he wouldn't be her-"

The knight grabbed your arm and dragged you out from behind Artimedge and pulled you to the operation room and shoved you against the wall. The rest of the knights and Artimedge followed you in the room. X2 beeped wildly.

"Where did you find Master Ren?" he said

"In a trench near the enemy base." now you were definitely crying.

The knight grabbed your jaw and moved it so you were facing to your right he examined your gash and then turned you the opposite direction and then he let go of you. You stared into his mask he turned and looked at the supreme leader as if he spoke to him and then finally spoke after what seemed forever.

"You are the only one that can work Master Ren no one else, there will be two of us at the door at all times you are not to leave this room until Master Ren is healthy, no one in or out." the knight said.

You finally let go of the breath you were holding you lived to see another day.

"You have thirty minutes to get your belongings and to be back here." you stared at him not knowing if you could move or if he was just going to change his mind and kill you.

Artimedge pulled you out of the room and started to drag you to your quarters.

"Venus are you okay? Please say something you look terrible."

"That's not very nice," you muttered

He sighed "You should've just left Ren on the battlefield."

"Please don't reprimand me for doing my job Artimedge. Why are you saying all this stuff wishing the Supreme Leader was dead, aren't you on the same side."

"Ren gets distracted with his own personal matters and frankly it's giving the First Order a bad rep making us look like fools compared to the Rebels."

You finally got to your quarters. Artimedge sat you down on your bed and started packing your clothes. You were thankful that he was there because you were still traumatized by your experience with the Knights of Ren.

You stood up and started helping him "Do you know that knights name?"

"Vircrul, he's sort of the next in command after Ren of course."

You were shaking as you were folding your clothes, Artimedge took the piece of clothing from you and folded it himself and grabbed your hands.

"It's going to be okay Venus, Ren will be fine in a week and then you never have to see him after that or the knights."

You shooked your head, Artimedge was always right in a week you could just go to your normal life. You looked down at your hands still holding on to Artimedge's you didn't want to go back and he knew it. He let go of your hands and grabbed your bag.

"I wouldn't be late Venus." you took a shaky breath and followed him back to the infirmary. Right before you got into the infirmary he handed you your bag and grabbed your face with both hands you both stared at each other until you hugged him he wrapped his arms around you and you both stayed there for a while until you heard footsteps coming from down the hall you let go and gave him a small smile and then you walked into infirmary.

Once you stepped into the operation room you were stopped by one of the other knights. He grabbed the bag that you brought and dumped everything out on the floor.

Are you kidding me? You had to bite down on your tongue.

"He's just making sure that you didn't bring anything to harm Master Ren," Vircrul said suddenly he was nonviolent with you.

If I wanted to kill him don't you think I would've just left him on the battlefield to die. Or killed him when we were alone?

You gave him no response you just started picking up your clothes that were now scattered all across the floor.

"The kitchen is going to send both of your meals here. Three times a day your droid is allowed to assist you." Two of the knights came in holding a recliner chair. "As far as beds go that's the best the infirmary could provide."

You shook your head in confirmation. Of course, after the battle, all the cots were being used you were glad they provided you with the recliner.

Once they left the room X2 came straight to you and you knelled hugging his metal body. X2 was the only familiar thing to you on The Finalizer he always knew how you were feeling and what to do. You were just so worn out from the events of the day, you looked at the supreme leader's body still unconscious before deciding that you were going to take a shower in the small refresher in the operating room.

"X2 please keep an eye out and get me if anything happens, it just going to be a quick shower."

You stepped in the refresher that had a small toilet and a small walk-in shower and quickly undressed knowing your luck he would wake up while you were in the shower you. Once you were finished you checked your head again the gash was now closed but it was still sore. Changing quickly into nightclothes a pair of black loose-fitting pants and a black tank top you were able to see bruises where Vicrul grabbed you. X2 beeped at the entrance of the refresher

His heart rate is rising he is going to wake soon.

You shooked your head and tied your hair up and left and he was in fact moving around the table not quite awake yet. He jerked and woke himself up and you grabbed his shoulders.

"Supreme leader my name is Venus and I am your healer I'm not sure if you remember but you had a blaster shot woun-"

"I remember."

"Are you in any pain or discomfort?"

He didn't speak.

"Are you hungry they are going to bring dinner soon I believe."

"What's the time?"

"It is currently 7:51."

He started to sit up despite his wound on his stomach.

"Supreme leader you can't go anywhere until you are healthy again the Bacta shot is going to help speed up the process but ultimately you just need time."

He ignored you.

"Your knights said you are to stay here until you're ready."

"I am their Master not the other way around nurse so if you can just shut up that would be wonderful."

You stopped talking immediately and watched him rise wincing as the bandages started spotting with blood. He was almost off the table when Vicrul walked in with someone from the kitchen staff holding with two trays.

"What are you doing girl I told you he is to stay here and rest. Why is he trying to get up?"

"I told him he didn't allow me to-"

"Shut up girl that's all I need to know about you of course you couldn't do the one simple task I asked of you."

Crying for the second time today you looked at the supreme leader and he was staring right back at you. What do you want from me? you thought knowing he could hear. A silent plea hoping he could save you from his knight that was yelling at you.

"You worthless girl you shouldn't even be a healer you are irresponsible and frankly not skilled enough I am going to see it immediately that you are terminated and kicked off at the next planet we stop at."

That was the end of the line for you as much as you hated conflict and yelling you knew your worth as a healer and you knew that you are the best at what you do the best on the Finalizer and probably in the galaxy.

"If I was so irresponsible and incompetent would I have saved the Supreme Leader? Who else do you know that could've done that or would have been willing to do it as I have? Where were you and your stupid knights to protect him? Isn't that your job?."

The knight took a step back so he was not so close and looked back at the Supreme Leader you looked at the Supreme Leader and he nodded but not to you, to the knight that was just yelling at you. With that Vicrul turned back to you and cocked his head to the side as if something was wrong with you and then turned and left.

With that, the Supreme Leader laid back down. There were tears still coming out of your eyes still very confused to what has happened. X2 beeped grabbing your attention.

"Are you done crying because I'm not sure if you noticed but I am now bleeding."

You looked at him and wiped your eyes, grabbing a pair of scissors you cut the bandages that were now bloody not talking to him while you replaced them with clean ones. Once you was done you heard his stomach grumble and that amused me somehow because someone as powerful as the Supreme Leader still needs to eat.

You stared at the plate brought to you before Vicrul started yelling and then you stared at the Supreme Leader.

"Do you want to see what they brought you for dinner? Or are you okay."

No response.

That shit was going to get real old real quick

You walked over to the metal tray you noticed it was 2 different meals, one that the infirmary calls soft diet for people who are injured semi-badly and they cant handle anything heavy so the vegetable and lentil soup that came with a roll was his. The other seemed like a feast compared to his a bowl of white rice with some type of chicken curry on another plate some flat circle bread and even something chocolatey for dessert.

You grabbed his bowl of soup and walked towards him he was staring at the ceiling

"Did you want it? Its vegetable soup."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust and you had to smile a little. The Supreme Leader didn't like vegetables.

"There is something else if you want it?"

You turned and grabbed the other plate and pulled a small table to the Supreme Leaders side, You put the food on the table and slowly started to incline the hospital bed the supreme leader he wasn't sitting all the way up but he definitely wasn't laying down either.

You grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and put it next to his bed and sat on it.

"May I assist you with your meal?" You asked softly

He shook his head, yes and you exhaled.

Finally, he's working with me.

"Its just food don't be so dramatic," he said

"Well I was just trying to save your life and I almost got killed twice so maybe I will be a little dramatic."

You put some of the curry chicken on the rice and mixed it up it was surprisingly hot still considering it stayed out when you were getting yelled at and when you were bandaging the supreme leader. You blew on the food before putting it to his mouth and he was just staring at you. His eyes were filled with disbelief and you were just confused.

"Are you okay?" You asked body still stretched out towards him one hand holding the spoon and one hand cupped under the spoon just in case some fell

He responded by eating the food.

#adam driver #bensolo #darkside #general hux #the last jedi #jedi #kylo ren #kylo x y/n #kylo x oc #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo #kylo ren imagine #star wars fanfiction #star wars #The Force Awakens

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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ohtheseboysilove · 6 years ago

Text

Sexy panties to dirty nappies [Ben Hardy x F!Reader] IV

Words : 4, 200 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, smut

Summary : Reader is eight months pregnant. The only problem ? She just find out. Yep, pregancy denial. Now, they only got one month to be ready for the baby. Ready…steady…go !

Note : Not you’re not dreaming !!! The new chapter is here after 16325 years of waiting !!! I think we got two maybe three more chapters before the eeeend

🌼Request are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“It’s impressively well-done for a fake pregnant belly”

“It’s a real one”

“I mean look at the details and all, I can’t see the strap to take it off! ”

“I told you it’s my real skin, you dummy”

“You’re almost convincing sweetheart but you can’t be– holy shit ! Your fake stomach just fucking kick me !”

“Joseph, for the tenth times, I’m pregnant and the kick you just felt, it’s our baby girl” You scoffed as the ginger man looked at your belly with wide eyes.

“But– I saw you in a thigh dress last month, I’m sure I wouldn’t have missed your...” He gestured to your swollen abdomen. “...imposing hum state”

You and Ben had currently some of your closest friends at your place and they were all shocked by the new but they mostly congratulated you for the baby’s coming. Joe couldn’t believe the pregnancy’s denial thing, not that he thought you were lying, he just had a hard time to process.

“Do you have any idea for a name ?” Lucy asked with a soft smile.

You and Ben glance at each other, whining a bit.

“Not really. I love Lottie but Ben don’t want it” You pouted childishly.

“It’s not even a name ! It’s basically Charlotte’s nickname but you don’t like Charlotte, it’s not my fault baby” Ben chatted back before tacking a sip of his beer, earning a roll of eyes from you. “You don’t like any of my idea, you had reject every name I proposed !”

“We’re not calling our daughter Esmeralda, Ben” You huffed as you lay back in the sofa, wiggling to find a comfortable position. “And Isabella is out too, I’m not giving my kid the name of the dumbass from Twilight” Joe snorted and shook his head, patting Ben’ shoulder.

“These names are rather lovely (Y/N)” Commented Gwilym with a shrug.

“Didn’t ask for your opinion Lee” You scoffed and snatched the crisp’ bowl from his hand, munching loudly the snack.

“Don’t worry, the hormones drove her mad, she’s mean with everyone Gwil” The blond winked at the brown-haired man. “She’s probably gonna cry in less than half an hour”

“Piss off Benny” You mumbled, moving like a worm on the sofa, the baby was jumping around your belly and the task of relaxing was nearly impossible. “What about Mina ? It’s cute”

“I love it” Lucy and Gwil nodded enthusiastically, Joe just shrugged.

“Nah, I’m not fan” The blond scratched his chin, thinking about other names. “Kelly ?”

“Urgh, no way. I was bullied by a Kelly in school, she was a real bitch” You shook your head, a hand massaging your swollen belly. “Ophelia?”

Your boyfriend whined and you sighed dramatically. The brainstorm for a name continued for a good twenty minutes, everyone proposing a name until you and Ben found one you both agreed on.

“Ellie. It’s perfect” You smiled and Ben smiled back, both of you reassured to find a name before the arrival of your daughter. “It’s short and adorable”

“Well done Gwil” Lucy gave a thumb up as he smiled proudly for finding the name.

“Mine was better” Grumbled Joe with a childish pout. “You could put as a her middle name”

“Ellie Skywalker Jones” Ben nodded and glanced at you “What’s do you think babe ?”

You raised your middle finger to the two men before wrapping protectively your belly with your arms.

“I think neither of you will be allowed in the hospital for the birth, I don’t trust any of you”

After a promise of paying the restaurant’s note next time you all going out, your friends accepted to help you to get the baby’s room ready. You were painting one of the wall in a light blue as was Lucy, both of you chatting during your task.

Joe and Ben were trying to find a way to put together the crib which it and more baby’ stuffs had arrive earlier during the day.

“So...do you feel ready for the baby hon ?” You stopped your movements and glanced at Ben who was already looking at you. You both knew the answer.

“Fuck no” Gwilym, Lucy and Joe laughed at your perfect synchronisation and Ben winked at you.

“But it’s not like we have any choice...it’s gonna be hard but we will find a way, right Benny ?” You asked and smiled lovingly when the blond stood up to plant a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Of course, baby. We can manage a little human, million of people do it, so we can do it too” He ignored the exaggerated aaaawwwww of Joe and pressed a second kiss, on your nose this time. “But maybe you should rest for a bit now. You have been standing for hours baby” He gave you his famous puppy-eyes and for once, you didn’t object.

You hummed in agreement and sat in the rocking-chair, giving some rest to your swollen ankles. Ben smiled with relief and went back to the crib as Gwilym was hanging few decorations above it, following your instructions.

“I was wondering guys...since you’re not going to the concert next week, can I have your tickets ? I met a really pretty girl the other day and if–“

“What ? What concert ?” You cut Joe with a frown.

“Queen + Adam Lambert, did...did you forget ?” Gwilym looked at you and Ben’s dumbfounded faces and get his answer.

“Holy shit, is it next weekend ? I completely forget it !” You slapped your forehead with shock. This surprise baby made you forget the concert you were waiting for practically a year. “Fuck, I will be still pregnant for the gig !” You stood up and cursed loudly, looking dramatically at Ben. “What are we going to do ?”

“What do you mean ? We’re not going, baby” The blond stated the situation like it was the most obvious answer ever. You scoffed, outraged by his reply and he shook his head, feeling the fight coming. “(Y/N), you’re eight months pregnant, you’re not going to any concert”

“But it’s Queen ! I’m waiting for that since I’m a little kid !” You reacted like a brat but honestly, the only thought of missing the gig made your blood boiled. “I’m going !”

“You’re not going anywhere” Ben snapped and crossed his arms, looking firmly at you. “Joe, you can have our tickets, there are in the kitchen, behind the echography of Ellie”

Lucy and the two boys looked awkwardly at each other at your bickering and quietly exited the room to let you both speak alone.

“Joe, you better don’t touch my ticket !” You warned as he shook his head and closed the door behind him. “I’m going Ben, I don’t need your permission” You humphed angrily and finished to put the big cloud sticker on the wall, ignoring Ben’s deep sigh.

“(Y/N), don’t be stupid please. We have standing’s tickets, you can’t go in crowd and stand for three hours in your state” You knew he was right but his tone was annoying you. He was scolding you like if you were a kid. “Be serious for a minute, I want to go too but I’m not going because you can’t”

“But I want to go” You whined and felt tears watering your eyes. You hated crying but since you were pregnant, every little thing that upset you, also made you cry. “I’m sure we can exchanged our standing tickets for seating tickets...”

“I said no, it’s too dangerous ! Jesus, stop being so childish (Y/N), for fuck’ sake ! We’re going to have a baby, if you don’t want to be a bad mother, you need to grow the hell up” Your lower lip was trembling after Ben’s harsh words, trying to suppress your sobs. The blond cursed and immediately regretted his words. “No, babe, I’m sorry. That’s not what I wanted to say, I–“

“Save it Ben” You cut him, coldly and made your way out of the baby’s room, sniffling quietly.

You were hurt. Very hurt. His words stung in you like poison, you were already doubting about your capacity of being a mum and now it was even worse. The rest of the flat was empty, your friends probably left at the uncomfortable situation. Great.

“Baby, please. Forgive me, I didn’t mean any of this. I’m just fucking nervous” Ben pleaded as he followed you in the kitchen. “I’m sorry” You ignored him and graciously wiped your nose with your – Ben’s – jumper’ sleeve before grabbing a cookie’s box, crunching one of them angrily. “Babe, talk to me, please”

“Fuck off” You replied and made your way to your room, slamming it in Ben’s face and carefully locking it behind you.

“(Y/N), let’s talk about it, you can yell at me as long as you want” He knocked on the door but you stayed silent. You muffled your cries with your hand and slid in your bed, feeling exhausted. Hormones were amplified all of your emotions and maybe you were overacting a bit but you couldn’t control yourself. For now, you were vexed. “Baby, I’m sorry, I really am. Please, let me in”

Ben’s voice was sounding lower as you slowly drifted into sleep, mouth half-parted as small snores echoed in the room.

When you woke up, you were feeling much better. Hungry and craving for cuddles. You felt stupid to react so dramatically, Ben would never hurt you on purpose and he wasn’t totally wrong about what he said. He was a bit clumsy with his words but he didn’t mean any hurt. You unlocked the door and went looking for Ben, walking frankly around the messy flat.

“Ben ? Frankie ?” You heart started racing violently as the thought that he left you all alone. That it, he had enough with you and left you and the baby.

You put a hand on your chest, feeling it raising quickly under the anxiety. You started crying and kept calling Ben’s name with a weak voice. You were ridiculous, deep inside, you knew he didn’t leaves you but your emotions were all over the place, messing badly with your rational mind. After five long minutes of more sobbing and intense fear, – raising a baby all by yourself ? Nightmare – the front door open.

“In, Frankie. Good girl” Ben cooed as the dog immediately ran to you, her little tail wagging excitedly. “Baby, what’s wrong ?” the blond looked at you worriedly and quickly closed the door before joining you on the sofa.

“You’re back” You murmured with round, teary eyes that made Ben’s heart melted.

“Of course, I’m back, baby. ‘ Was just walking Frankie” His big, warm hands flew to your wet cheeks, brushing it softly. “I’m not going anywhere, I already told you that (Y/N), you stuck with me forever, you and little Ellie” He pressed his lips on yours, several times as you sighed with relief, your fingers clenching around his forearm. “I brought you this veggie burger from Byron that you love so much” He added in a whisper, his mouth curled in a cheeky smile.

“With sweet potatoes ?” You asked with the sweetest, hopeful voice, Ben’s chuckling softly at your tone.

“Two portions of sweet potatoes for my pretty girl” He confirmed and you kissed his cheeks, wiping your wet eyes with a hungry smile. “I’m gonna make your plate, ‘kay ?” You nodded and he disappeared in the kitchen, Frankie immediately stealing his spot.

You scratched her ears with a loving smile while she rolled on her back, exposing her tummy for some more rubbing, her cute little pink tongue poking out. The blond came back, two plates on his hands before putting the little stool, to rest your feet on, in front of you. The sight of the deliciously greasy burger made your stomach grumbled loudly. You both silently ate your dinner, Ben stealing you soft glances from time to time, your plate resting on the top of your round belly as you eagerly stuffed your mouth with chips.

“About what I said earlier...”

“No, Ben, let’s forget that okay ? You were right, I acted like a little bitch, I was being stupid” You took a large sip of your soda and waved him off, licking your greasy fingers.

“Hey, I shouldn’t have talk you like this either, ‘m sorry baby” His plump lips pressed on your shoulder, making you smiled inevitably.

You wiped your fingers into a napkin and slid them on his cheeks, bringing in face to yours, kissing him cheekily. Ben moved the plate from the top of your tummy and pushed him away somewhere on the coffee table without breaking the kiss. You sat on his lap, bowing your neck to keep your lips connected, trying to ignore the soreness of the gesture but with your massive body between the two of you, it wasn’t really easy.

Ben lips trailed down your neck, nipping at your skin as you softly gasped at the nice sensation. But then little Ellie decided to wake up, giving this steamy moment a weird dimension. The baby was pretty energetic, kicking hard until Ben stopped, sighing.

“Is it only me or you also find weird to make out when this little cockblocker is awake ?” He narrowed his eyes, looking suspiciously at your swollen belly.

“Definitively” You pouted and let a light peck on his cute nose before getting back on your spot, your hand rubbed on your tummy. “Shush baby...aren’t you a jealous little thing ? Not letting your mama getting a well-deserve quickie on the sofa, that wasn’t really nice” You cooed at your belly, your daughter kicking back even harder at the sound of your voice.

“Can’t wait to have this little girl out of her Mummy because this is my spot, and I don’t like sharing” He gave you smug smile and avoid the cushion that you threw to him. “What ? I’m sick of using my hand, didn’t jerk myself off that much since high school. Miss our long, hot night of sex very much” He whispered the last sentence into your ear, bringing a shiver down your spin.

You whined. Loudly.

“Me too baby. God, that awful, I’m so horny and I can barely move” You cried as your gently tugged on Ben’s hairs. His gorgeous lips teasing you as he ran a tongue on it.

“As soon as we have a night just for ourself, m’ gonna take care of you, no cockblocker and no big belly to stop me this time” He brushed his lips against your lobe and moved away, his eyes matching your excitation. “Soon, baby, soon”

You nodded with a pout and grabbed back your plate, munching your burger as you ignored the knot of desire in your lower belly.

“Do you want my pickle ?” His fingers wiggled the large american pickle in front of your lips, mouth twitching up in a cocky smile. “It’s leaking, wanna taste ?” You knew he was teasing you and he was having too much fun with his dirty talk, he rubbed the head of the pickle on your closed mouth, knowing damn well that the baby was too awake to do anything right now.

His amused face turned into a most serious one when you decided to play his game too, giving a kitten lick on the pickle, your doe-eyes looking right him innocently. You hummed appreciatively and chuckled as his Adam’s apple bobbed visibly. You wrapped your lips around the vegetable, sucking on it with exaggerated noises only destined to frustrate him more. His cheeks were becoming pink at your gestures, his free hand sliding into his pants, palming himself at the sight, imagining your lips wrapped around him rather than this stupid pickle.

“You like that Ben ?” You murmured in a slutty voice, trying your best to not burst in laugh at his flustered state. Men were really weak. He nodded softly, groans leaving his parted mouth as his cock was throbbing in his hand, begging for some release. You put back your lips and moaned loudly around it, your hands pressing on his thighs cockily. “That what you get when you tease me, you twat” You crunched on the pickle and moved back, giggling at his wide eyes and burning face.

“You’re...the devil, woman” He chocked out in a strangled voice, stopping the movements of his hand. You stole the rest of the pickle and ate it nonchalantly, ignoring his pleading look. “Babe” He rubbed his nose on your neck. “Baby” He whined against your skin, his hot breath tickling you. “Please, my love. Need you. So badly” He caught your hand and pressed it onto his boner, showing you how much he needed you.

“Humm, what do I get if I land you a hand ?” You purred with a cheeky smile, your fingers brushing on his hard-on.

“Everything you want baby, please” You grinned in satisfaction and pressed your lips on his jaw, biting it slightly as your hand wrapped around his length, earning a loud gasp.

“Alright, you owned three girl nights once the baby is born, whenever I want” You glanced at him and he rolled his eyes but nodded anyway, he slid down his jeans and underwear, exposing his magnificent purple-head cock to you. “And you give me a massage tonight” You added with a smirk, your thumb teasing the top of his leaking dick. Ben sighed uncomfortably at your sweet torture and nodded eagerly, his hips bucking into your grip. “And a real massage baby, not a five-minutes-and-im-too-tired one ! With the relaxing oil I bought last–“

“Jesus (Y/N) !Yes, yes, yes ! Everything you want baby, can you just jerk me off ?” His head was threw back in the sofa, eyes closed and face twisted in need.

“So romantic my love” You joked and slowly started moving your hand up and down, nails slightly grazing on him, bringing your lips back on his neck. “How do that feel ?”

“So good baby. So so so good” He whimpered as your other hand went on his balls, massaging them gently. “Shit, how can you hand be so much better than mine ?” The blond kept his eyes shut, chest panting as his release was quicky building.

“For the same reason than I prefer your fingers in my pussy rather than mine” You murmured against his lips, grinning at his long and deep moan. “Feel so nice when you touch me, always hitting the right spot” You bit his bottom lip, quickening your speed around his cock.

“God, I love this dirty mouth of yours” He breathed as he opened his lust-filled eyes. “Kiss me” You pressed a simple kiss on his mouth, earning a disapproval groan from your boyfriend. “A real– fuck, a real kiss baby”

“I taste like pickle Ben” You giggled and wrinkled up your nose. “Yuck”

“Like I fucking care, gimme a kiss baby” You happily complied and slid your tongue into his mouth, adding some pressure on his hard member as you other hand flew back on his neck. “Oh my– feel so good! I’m gonna cum baby! Shit shit shit !” He sang in a high pitched voice as you praised him until he jerked in your hand with a throaty groan.

You wiped your hands covered in sticky cum on Ben’s shirt who gave you a dirty look but didn’t say anything. You just jerked him off, knowing you wouldn’t have any release in return, he better kept his mouth shut.

Few days later you were doing your exercise of the day : Walking to the elevator, get in it, walking even more graciously to the box letters, grabbed the mails and then going back to your flat in the same way. It was noting but it made you sweated and groaned every time.

You sat – more like grovelled – into the sofa, patting a sleepy Frankie and looked over the mails, putting the bills on the table with a grimace. You made your way to Ben’s office, dropping his work mails on the desk but your eyes fell on a large envelop, with the name of his agent on it. You furrowed your brows and took the envelop, wondering what it was. You curiosity would kill you one day.

“I hope for you Benjamin Jones that I’m wrong and it’s not what I think it is...” You mumbled with annoyance, trying to see through the envelop.

Ben had the bad habit to accept projects before talking to you, to avoid a drama. We ask for forgiveness, not for authorisation. But now you had a baby coming very soon and if you found out this asshole was away for a photo shoot or an interview somewhere else than in London...someone gonna be in big troubles. You were becoming angry and scared. He wouldn’t do that, he couldn’t. Now you were pacing in the room, trying to relax and not becoming too paranoiac. Too late. You grabbed the envelop and looked for the little knife that Ben used to opened his mails.

“Watcha doing ?” You dropped everything on the floor with a loud gasp, catched red-handed. Ben smirked at your guilty face, walking to you. “What did I do for you to search through my boring work stuffs hum ? That not where I keep the naughty photos my fans send me, you know that” He joked before placing a kiss on your hair, rubbing gently your belly.

This wanker came back from the gym quicker than you expected.

“And why are you trying to make go in early-labour, you ass” You groaned in a loud breath, heart beating quickly from the scare he just gave you. The blond chuckled, clearly picking on your mood but he was used to it now. “What is in this envelop ?” You shook it in front of your boyfriend’s face.

“Hum...nothing” The british lied and quickly grabbed the mail from your hand, taking it away.

“Benjamin! What is it ?” You slapped his chest to make him drop the envelop but he shook his head, refusing to tell you.

“Nothing baby, I swear ! Just boring work” He smiled innocently to you and it made you even more upset.

“Oh my god Ben ! Tell me ! You better not leave the city during the first year of your daughter’s life or I’m gonna castrate you !” You shoved an angry finger in his chest before pinching roughly one of his nipple, making him gasp painfully.

“Fuck (Y/N) ! You hurt me” He whined like a child but at least you get the mail back in your hand. You smirked at him and started to open it under Ben’s annoyed gaze. “Okay, go on, you minx, ruin my surprise” The blond crossed his arms and rubbed his torso, mumbling about his nipple hurting.

You chewed your lips in hesitation, maybe it was really a surprise and you were just acting bratty. You sighed and gave him back the mail, half opened. You pouted and walked away, hormones making you crazy. You wanted to cry, to yell or just taking a nap you didn’t know. But the envelop was still in your though, making you wondering too much. And Ben being the perfect boyfriend he was, knew that too. That why he came sit next to you on the sofa, handing you the mail.

“I wanted it to be a surprise until the last minute but I know you gonna drive yourself mad with this, so here, open your present” You squealed in excitement, sending him the wider smile ever. “But please don’t go in early labour, that would literally ruin my present” He added, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Can’t promise anything Benny” You crutched your nose, taking out two shiny pieces of paper from the mail, eyes practically popping out of your face. “No, you didn’t ! Oh my god Ben !” You let out a scream in high-pitched voice and the blond covered his ears as the sound but a satisfied smile was on his lips.

It was two tickets for a Queen + Adam Lambert concert but this time, it was not standing but seating tickets, on a private balcony, much better for a very pregnant woman. You quickly wiped away the few tears on your cheeks and grabbed Ben’s neck, kissing his mouth several times, babbling several thank you.

“I’m glad you’re happy, baby” You buried your head into his neck, his large palms rubbing your swollen belly, his head on yours.

“I though you didn’t want me to go with little Ellie” You murmured against his skin, feeling overwhelmed by love for this incredible man.

“Well, it way safer tickets and it’s probably the last very exciting thing we’re gonna do before the baby so...yeah, let’s go see Queen” He replied with an amused tone.

“You’re damn right, Jones” You put your hand over his, both of you giggling at the kick from little Ellie “See, she is very excited too ! Baby girl gonna dance with Mommy on saturday night !”

Ben gave you a warning look and you pinched your lips, amused.

“Or we can just occasionally wiggle on our seat to not worry daddy to much” You added with an innocent smile.

“Much better” Ben agreed with a grin.

Tag list : @ixchel-9275 @jennyggggrrr

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy #ben x reader

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chu-ni · 6 years ago

Text

miscommunication – ljn.

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: fluff, angst, royalty!au

word count: 19.6k (uff the most ive EVER written...)

warnings: jeno is a lil bit of a dickhead, sorry if the ending is a lil rushed bc i just wanted this fic GONE, hope its not as tedious for you to read as it was for me to write! this whole fic was inspired by this post! happy reading!

In a bid to preserve the future safety of their neighbouring kingdoms from the growing dangers of the northern empire, your parents, rulers of the southern isles, had you betrothed to the immediate heir of the southern mainland, Lee Jeno. You were 8 years old, and quite frankly didn't even know how to spell betrothal, let alone define it. True to tradition, Jeno, with his glasses, bowl cut, and stuffed cat toy came to stay with you for the next four years before he'd have to return to take up responsibilities as future ruler.

Upon first meeting, you thought Jeno was probably the nicest person you'd ever met, if a little boring. He was quiet, soft-spoken, giggly, and a little shy; you'd realised after he'd barely said more than 2 words to you that it would take you a while to bring him out of his shell. You dragged him on various mini adventures as kids (stealing cookies from the palace kitchens, watching the knights train from a bush just beyond the sparring grounds, playing in throne room and impersonating your parents when nobody else was there), and although at first he was reluctant, he became almost as bubbly and loud as you were -- while you preferred to live in the moment, saying and doing whatever you wanted, you were kids after all, he tended to think before he did things, always thinking about what could happen later on. In that sense, despite your differences, he became your moral compass of sorts, stopping you from being too reckless and bailing you out whenever you got into too much trouble. Did Jeno think he'd probably go bald before he turned 20 because of all the stress you put on him, whether that be you ditching tutoring to go climb trees and him reluctantly tagging along, or him having to practically drag you away from the stables before your parents found out and scolded you for the fourth time that week, or even that one time the two of you got locked in the kitchens at 3am with flour everywhere and the two of you had to clean it up and find somewhere to hide until the morning? Yes, and despite his constant state of anxiety and his frequent joking expression of his wish to go home already so he could finally get some peace and quiet, he still cared about you. Would probably jump in front of a carriage for you. Still considered you his best friend above all. Still appreciated you for bringing him out of his shell and changing him for the better. You and Jeno, as best friends would, spent all your time together. Getting married, the betrothal… it was in the backs of your minds, but at 11 ("Almost 12!!" "Shut up, Jeno,") years old, you liked to pretend you at least had the freedom to explore your romantic options (even if you both always managed to find flaws in every girl and boy. "His hair's too long," "She's too short!" "He looks mean," "She looks too nice,"), that you lived a different life, where royalty and alliances and all that jazz didn't exist for the pair of you. Where you were just two kids, two best friends who could do whatever they wanted and never have to worry about the consequences. As much as you liked to pretend, however, it was just that. Pretend. An imaginary scenario that only went on for a limited amount of time before you inevitably had to return to reality. The two of you returned to reality 3 days before Jeno's 12th birthday, when your parents received a letter dating his return to the mainland. It was less than a week before he left you for, well, ever. You had 5 days to say goodbye to your best friend, your closest confidant, your reluctant partner in crime. And you had no idea what to do. Jeno didn't like talking about leaving, so the two of you avoided the topic and hung out just as you'd always done.You were both in the library, his last day before he left, helping Jeno find a book he wanted when you brought up the topic. "Jeno." You murmur, stopping your search to look at him. At first glance, he seemed fine, but you knew he wasn't really. At least, you hoped he wasn't. Not in a bad way, no, never; but you hoped you'd made a strong enough bond as friends for him to feel something about leaving you for whoever knew how long. He replies with a nonchalant "Hm?", eyes still focused on the rows upon rows of literature in front of him. "Do you-" you clear your throat, trying to build confidence. "Do you think we'll see each other again?" He's silent for a moment, lips pouting and eyes to the ceiling, as if in thought, before stating, with confidence: "I know we will." You're not fully convinced, and it must show because the way Jeno smiles as brightly as possible calms your worrying heart. Jeno leaves the next morning, and you say goodbye with a tight hug that Jeno is 53% sure is the reason he wouldn't stop coughing on the boat home, and a pinky promise to write to each other every day, week, month, and so forth. He makes you promise not to cry. You break it as soon as he boards. You keep breaking it every night he's gone for the next 3 weeks, after which your parents are basically forcing you to make new friends. They've arranged playdates, tea parties, dances, balls; but absolutely nobody was going to replace Jeno, which is exactly what you thought your parents were trying to do and as such you made every effort not to let that happen. Did you deliberately cause trouble? Yes. Did you think Jeno would agree with what you were doing? No, but you were doing it for him and you were sure he'd understand anyway. So the next 2 months are littered with failed playdates, ruined tea parties, messy dances, and disgraceful balls, and even though you felt a little bad when you overheard your parents relentlessly apologising to the other adults, a bigger part of you was happy you wouldn't have to talk to any more stuffy noble children. At least not for the foreseeable future. It was only when your parents gave up trying to make you make friends that you, ironically, made one. You met Haechan while exploring ("Trespassing, more like," "Shut up, Haechan!") the knights' quarters one day. You'd overheard shouting and insults, so you peeked through one of the doors to see a kid who looked around your age, eyes pinned to the floor and fists clenched at his sides as the imposing man who stood in front of him spewed swear words and other things you weren't sure you could repeat anywhere else. At that, you immediately stepped in to defend the boy, using your status to take Haechan back up to your own quarters in the palace, where the two of you properly spoke, or at least tried to before a handmaid had burst into your room, panting slightly, saying you'd both been summoned by your parents to the throne room, at which point your heart had leapt into your throat. The throne room, much like the rest of the palace, was lined with windows to let as much light in as possible. The walls were a pastel yellow, with paintings of previous rulers across the walls, and the floor was covered with rugs various shades of verdant green. The thrones themselves were nothing special; the only thing that denoted their specialty was the engraving of your family crest at the top of them. Seated upon them were, of course, your parents. Your mother was tall, lithe, and with an imposing gaze she often intimidated those she came into contact with. Behind all that, however, she was the goofy mother who'd sung made up lullabies to you as a child, who'd laughed when you stamped everything in your parents study with the royal seal, who'd nearly jumped out of her skin when you used flour to 'teleport' in front of her at the age of 6; she just hid it very well. Your mother had always taught you the importance of controlling your emotions, given you irreplaceable advice on the topic, advice you rarely ever put to use, but took in anyway. Your father, by contrast, was short -- well, not that short, but most people looked short when put next to your mother -- on the heavier side, with a trimmed beard and an open smile. Contrary to your mother, he was often the stricter, more disciplined one of the two. He nagged you often, something you didn't think you'd ever not find annoying, but he had your best interests at heart. The two of them, with their almost opposing personalities, made a good match for each other, and you saw the love they had for one another every day; with the way they looked into one another's eyes, the way your father, even with his short stature, would step in front of your mother at the first sign of her feeling threatened, the way they worked together to solve every problem that ever appeared like magic, and you wished someone would look at you like that one day. You and Haechan, gazes fixed to the floor and hearts beating so fast you were sure anyone in a 50 mile radius could hear them, both trembled slightly as your father, who you'd hoped wouldn't be the one scolding you today, let his voice, low and commanding, travel across the room. "Y/N," His tone is expectant, quiet in volume, and you know what that means. You look up at him, and although he appears straight faced, the slight scowl and squint of his eyes betrays his annoyance. You could tell this was going to be another long-winded lecture. "Do you know why you've been summoned here?" He continues, re-adjusting himself to be more comfortable. You mumbled a reply, hating the fact that Haechan would be witnessing what was basically a daily occurrence. He says your name again in warning, and you speak up this time. "….My insolence," At that, he descends into a tirade that you stopped taking seriously once he mispronounced one of his words, at which you and Haechan made amused eye contact and hadn't stopped doing since. You tuned in and out of his rant catching bits of the same old same old story about "Fixing your manners!" And staying out of "Knightly affairs," until your father couldn't be bothered to speak any more and simply brought in the knight you'd scolded yourself earlier. At much pressure from your father and mother, you apologised, not without gritting your teeth and sending an icy glare your father's way. Seeing as your father had summoned both you and Haechan to the throne, you'd naturally assumed he'd also be scolded, but you had to fight your jaw dropped when your father simply apologised to Haechan for the whole affair and sent him on his way. He was midway through opening the door to exit when you interrupted, "But father--" he'd raised a hand to cut you off, already being done with the conversation. "Who is the princess here, Y/N?" You snarled a "Me," under your breath, a part of you knowing you'd lost the argument before it'd even started. "So that makes it your responsibility to control yourself around others." He turned to go, before whirling back around, a finger pointed directly at you. "Especially the knights, damn it!" At that, he left, your mother following behind him, leaving you alone in the throne room. You waited till they were out of sight before releasing a frustrated groan, trudging back to your room, desperate for some alone time to sulk in your own emotions. You groan again when you find Haechan reading through one of your books on economic development (not like you'd ever read it anyways), not even bothering to acknowledge you until you stamp over to him and snatch the damn thing out of his hands, "Don't touch my stuff." You hiss. He pouts, disappointed, before rolling his eyes. "Thanks," he sighs, blasé. "For earlier." You open your mouth to reply, but judging by how he gingerly sits at the edge of your bed, you wait for him to continue. "If you hadn't come in then I probably would've said something I'd regret, and then my parents would be super mad, and then I'd probably have to start something stupid, like alchemy or something. God, I hate alchemy--" As bad of a mood as you were in, you couldn't help but to laugh. His deadpan yet relatable way of expressing himself reminded you of yourself a little, and you smiled softly to yourself. The sound of him whispering an accomplished "Yes!" under his breath causes you to look up at him in question. "That's what I wanted." His gaze softens as his eyes fall on yours, "You looked a lot worse before. I didn't think it was fair, given what you did for me. So that was my way of saying thanks." The two of you sit in a comfortable silence, you also noticing that Haechan's gotten more comfortable on your bed, as you both stare at the ceiling. You break the silence a little while later. "You're welcome." You'd originally planned to end the conversation there and go back to staring at the increasingly mundane ceiling of your room so you could seem cool and aloof, but you had a feeling Haechan wasn't the kind of person to care about things like that. "And….thank you, also." The tables turn. This time, it's Haechan who's looking at you, brows furrowed, lips curled, in question. "I'm not very good at knowing when to shut up, which you've probably noticed," he visibly scoffs at that, and you playfully glare at him in return. "I'm not very good at acting like a princess, either, so I find it hard to relate to other people in my, um, circle?" You question, mainly asking yourself, but he interjects anyway. "Don't you have any friends?" You swallow, gritting your teeth. "I was getting to that," Embarrassed, Haechan slowly turns to face the window to his left. You sigh before continuing, "Anyway, I had a friend, but he moved away. And I hate the other noble kids; they're all the same, with their ugly clothes and weird hairstyles and the fact that they're only nice to me when their parents are around--which is barely, by the way-- and how stupid they all are--" Haechan has turned back to look at you at some point during your rant, and there's a mysterious glint in his eyes as he smirks at you. "You're funny. Like me," he studies you for a second, his smirk growing into a grin. "We should talk more sometime," He sighs, then stretches as he stands from his position on your bed. He says nothing as he opens the door, turns to wave at you, and then disappears, closing the door behind him. To say you were a little confused was an understatement. Not only had you inadvertently revealed more about yourself than you'd learned from him in an attempt to get him to open up, your kind-of acquaintance had also simply up and left in the middle of your conversation. Haechan kept to his word of talking more to you, though, as he'd come to find you whenever his assigned knight (who'd been switched to someone nicer after the incident) gave him a break. Over time you'd managed to find out more about him; that he was born and raised a noble, but had always wanted to be a knight, so had begun his squire training this year in the palace -- it was why you'd never seen him before then, that he was actually a lot like you but a little more ("A lot," "Shut up, Y/N!") sharper-tongued. He liked to express himself through jokes and humour, which was a plus as all the time you spent shedding tears of laughter helped take your mind off of Jeno's departure. Like you, Haechan liked to talk about anything and everything-- sometimes this led to irritation between the two of you because you both always had something important to say and you were both the only people who'd listen -- but you liked hearing what he'd talk about as you knew you'd learn something new from him every time. You meet your second new friend at your 13th birthday ball, something you vehemently opposed the second you heard the idea…except you didn't hear the idea, you were just told it was happening 2 hours before it was supposed to start. To make matters worse, you didn't even have the energy or the time to try and sabotage it given the fact that your parents had someone watching over you at all times, be it a handmaid, a guard, a servant; practically anyone your parents could get their hands on. The ball itself wasn't even that bad, even though you'd never say that out loud. The ballroom was decorated to look like the sun your people worshipped so much; fabrics of yellow and gold were draped across the room in every hue; tables were filled to the brim with fruits, confectionery, and other foods you couldn't pronounce the name of. Musicians were seated in the corner of the room, playing pieces you recognised from your lessons but never really remembered all that well. Did you appreciate the effort? Yes. Did you care for it all, though? Absolutely not. To make matters worse, there was no sign of your current confidant, Haechan, anywhere -- the whole place seemed to have been populated with the same noble children you hated and their equally as annoying parents. Leaving clearly wasn't an option, given the servant currently offering drinks was doing a really bad job at subtly watching you from their position within the group of noble parents. Sighing, you left the buffet table and all of its tasty comforts to explore the floor, taking great care to avoid the group of obnoxious 13 year olds in the centre of the room.

You'd be lying if you said you discovered some amazing secret that would change your life forever in between the designated tables and their vases filled with flowers, the overwhelmingly sweet smell of which was beginning to give you more than a headache. Almost the entirety of the ballroom was the same no matter where you went-- the same old stuffy adults in one corner, the same stuffy disrespectful kids your age in another, the member of staff assigned to you changing every quarter of an hour the only constant, ironically. If anything, you'd say the only thing you'd discovered during the increasingly painful amount of time you'd been here was the fact that you hated birthday balls, and you would be all too happy if someone told you you never had to have one again. Uncaring for whoever it was that was watching you this time, you storm towards the exit, a scowl marring your features. Someone's arm slinging itself over your shoulder and a slightly terrified whisper of "Keep walking, please," spurs you on for the moment, but when you successfully get out of the ballroom (to your own surprise), you fling the arm off your shoulder, stop walking and whirl to face your temporary escapee. Judging by the boyish timbre of his voice earlier, you'd expected someone a little different than whatever the kid currently sheepishly grinning at you was. He was dressed in robes that looked like they'd come from somewhere far away; his face was both adorable and yet belied almost the same air of mischief you'd noticed around Haechan upon your first meeting with him, but there was something different about this one. Unconsciously, your eyes narrowed as you studied him some more, failing to notice the fact that his previous grin had dropped, been replaced by a concerned gaze. You also failed to notice that his mouth had been moving for quite some time now; it's his hand, again on your shoulder, that breaks you out of your trance. "Hello? Are you okay?" He shakes you slightly and you nod before he can cause too much of a fuss. This time, you didn't really care to know who the unnamed boy was or why he'd even snuck out with you in the first place, thoughts of finding Haechan and ranting to him the at the forefront of your mind, but the boy decided to tell you anyway. You'd begun walking, hoping he'd get the hint that you had somewhere to be, but he simply fell into step beside you, continuing his life story. When you bothered to tune in, your mind still set on finding Haechan, and giving little hums here and there to at least give off the vibe you were listening to your unwanted guest, you'd found out a multitude of things. One, that he'd come from the Eastern continent, somewhere you'd only read about in the few books you liked reading, and that he was rich enough to practically be royalty. Two, that the succession crisis over there and the accession of the new ruler caused his family to move to the southern isles to avoid persecution. Three, that his parents own a "nice restaurant in town. You should visit sometime!" Oh, and four. The kid just wouldn't shut up. But you could've guessed that from the moment he started talking anyway. You also found out he was younger than you "Wait," you're cut off by Haechan, eyes widened in recognition. "You're Zhong Chenle? That kid with the huge house?" You look over to Chenle, analysing his reaction "It's not that huge, I mean--" Haechan cuts him off again, and you tune out of the conversation as soon as they start talking about Chenle's apparent neighborhood popularity. You never do find out why Chenle wanted to leave that party so badly, and the thought of asking always slips your mind. What you do know, is that you see Chenle around a lot more often, but that's only cause after trying some of his mom's restaurant's food you haven't been able to stop making orders to the palace for it. There had to be something in that braised beef of hers that made it so addictive, and Chenle delivering it was a plus, cause it meant the three of you could talk and do whatever for as long as you wanted. So you had friends, at long last. The three of you grow up and mature together, Chenle, offering knowledge far beyond his years despite him being the youngest of the three of you, Haechan, getting a lot better at holding his tongue and being less mischievous, and you, though still a little rebellious at times, have managed to ultimately, tone it down. You still stress out your tutor, Taeyong though-- every time you trick him into letting you go early from your lessons and he finds you in the midst of climbing some tree with Chenle, or beginning to mount a horse with Haechan when you really should be studying he swears he loses more and more years off his life. You're less outspoken, more articulate when you speak; You choose your battles more carefully now, instead of blowing up whenever you disagree with someone -- by around a year or so, and called Chenle. During the course of your one sided conversation, punctuated by monotonous hums of agreement from you here and there, you found yourself in front of Haechan's quarters at long last. Unsurprisingly, Chenle followed after you, even as you opened the door to find him half dressed. "Oh my-- Do you know how much I hate it when you do that!?" Startled, Haechan drops to a crouch, trying to salvage some modesty. "You're acting like I haven't seen it before," you sigh, dragging your tired feet over to his bed, flinging yourself down onto it and closing your eyes. Pulling his tunic over his shorts, dragging a palm down his face, he snaps, "That's when it's just you, idiot," he nods at Chenle to come further in (the poor boy had been awkwardly standing in the doorway throughout your exchange,) "At least let me know if you're going to bring guests." He whines, sitting directly on your stomach, using as much force as possible. "Haechan you-- Ow!" You wheeze, the breath knocked out of you. Struggling against the fabrics of your dress, you finally manage to shove him off, kicking him in the process, and not missing the red tinge to Chenle's face and his extremely poor attempt at hiding his laughter. You look to Haechan, glaring, and see him smirking back at you; you make a note to beat him up properly for it later. You take a deep breath, willing your annoyance away, and introduce the two. "Haechan, this is Chenle, Chenle, this is--" that doesn't mean you don't still rip people to shreds if they have a wrong opinion, though (Your parents are still apologising to the western continent's representative after you cursed him out over his 'inflammatory comments', ( "He said women were inferior beings and that it was amazing I could read, given my smaller brain, mother!" "I don't care what he said, Y/N. he is a guest of ours and you will respect his beliefs!" "….") Jeno, while back home, matured as well. He chilled out (he's still a little weird, but only around his friends) in the sense that he's kind to everyone, respectful to everyone, the epitome of the perfect prince; because he has to be. His parents were stricter than yours were, exponentially so due to the growing threat of the northern continent. And although he finds the continuous prim and proper prince act a little tiring at times, and wishes he could be himself (A goofy, weird, sometimes airheaded, huge cat-lover) all the time, he knows his parents would never allow it ( "That's not how a prince should behave, Jeno."). As a result, he's secretly irritated a lot of the time, anger bubbling beneath the surface. No-one would ever know, though; he's just that good at hiding it (Until, of course, he meets you again 6 years later and snaps at you by accident). As the years went past, you'd never really forgotten Jeno; in fact, you still thought of him from time to time-- but it was a lot less than when he first left. You'd first exchanged letters every week, but as time passed and the two of you became busier and busier, him with his preparations to be king and you with your own preparations to take over, the letters went from weekly, to monthly, to barely any at all. Sometimes he'd cross your mind and you'd wonder how he was doing, what he looked like, whether he'd grown even taller, if he was still the same old giggly boy you'd dragged around the palace 6 years ago -- but then Chenle or Haechan would be doing something that you just had to see -- and the thought would be gone. You didn't think Jeno would be returning to your corner of the southern isles any time soon, anyway. Life on the southern mainland, for Jeno, at least was hopelessly, mind-numbingly, boring. Those 4 years he'd spent in the southern isles had gone too fast for him, for now he was stuck back with his controlling parents that never let him just be, and it only got a little better the older he got. Jeno had returned home, to his bland room with its white walls and paintings of old men the only decoration his parents would allow. He'd been practically thrown in the deep end when it came to his royal duties; he was supposed to greet this lady, bow to this lord, smile at this diplomat, pretend, pretend, pretend -- because emotions were never becoming of a prince, of a 'future king'. He'd come to hate those 2 words in coming years. -- Seoyoung was the closest thing to a replacement version of you that Jeno could get. It had been a year since he'd forced himself back into the perfect box his parents had always pressured him to fit into, a year since his unwanted goodbye to freedom and the Southern Isles. The letters exchanged with you had slowly but surely died out, and being left with your own company in a palace as big as the one he lived in was like his own personal hell. Being forced to be a certain way all the time, never being allowed to truly express emotion, along with a clear lack of understanding from his already closed off parents had led to him slipping away from the high walls of the palace and out into the bustle of the local towns beyond. It was there, after running away from some moody teenagers he'd unwittingly bumped into, hiding in the nearest open door available to him, that he'd met her. "Hey!" Jeno whips round, chest still heaving, back pressed into the wooden ridges of the door he'd just shut. "Who the hell are you," she growls, advancing towards him with a pan that looked more and more threatening by the second, "And what are you doing in my house?" Soon enough, he can feel the cool edge of the pan pressed into his neck, and, grimacing, he pleads, "Please, please don't kill me," and he hates how he very loudly whimpers as the girl presses the pan deeper. Her laugh, a tiny giggle that sounds like addictive music to his ears, changes the mood. “Relax,” she snickers, a sly tear coming out of her eye, “I’m not gonna kill you! What kind of person do you think I am?” She’s thrown her head back now, laughing louder, and Jeno can’t find it in himself to get angry. “I wouldn’t know?” he probes, "We just met, so.." Jeno peels himself off the door, standing awkwardly as the girl drags a chair, flinging herself onto it. Rubbing her eyes, trying to calm down, she asks, "Seriously. Why are you in my house." "Oh, I just, like, bumped into the wrong group of people.... I guess I got on their bad side, cause they chased me through town. This was the nearest open door to hide." She starts laughing again, and Jeno's confused once more. His explanation wasn't *that* funny, was it? And the longer she laughed, the more he was beginning to suspect Seoyo was laughing *at* him, not at what he said. He didn't know how that made him feel, but it wasn't good. "I can't believe," she wheezes, "You got chased...by Minho's gang!" she sputters. "Are you new here or something? Everyone knows Minho and his crew are a bunch of boneheads, they were probably just playing with you," Upon reflection, perhaps the smiles those 'moody teenagers' were sporting as they followed him were less menacing and more...welcoming. But he wasn't going to take his chances either way. "So what if I am new here?" He retorts, "They didn't look very friendly when they starting running after me down the street!" She looks at him for a long moment, before mocking his words and laughing again. "Hey!" he snaps, but his voice breaks as he says it and it sounds more like a childish whine.

Pushing herself off the chair, she begins rummaging through cupboards and drawers, pulling out various ingredients as she goes. "You must be hungry," she snickers, but she can tell that any more of her incessant mockery would genuinely offend him, so keeps it to a minimum. "Sit down, and I'll make you something to eat." Tentatively, Jeno sits at the table, round, chipped at the edges, and worn from years of use. An aroma soon fills the air, drifting to his nose. Whatever it was, it smelled better than any of the stuff from the palace kitchens- and when she placed the bowl of soup and vegetables in front of him, it tasted much better, too. "So, where are you from?" He chokes on a carrot. "You said you moved here recently, right? Where from?" Now, it was at this point where Jeno hated the fact that he was never that great at lying, because he now needed to come up with a believable backstory and actually stick to it without giving himself away as the freaking crown prince, for goodness sake. "An island." He states, and hopes she'll be satisfied with that.

"Near the, uh," he downs a spoonful of soup to buy thinking time, "the Southern Isles?" Sounding confused was definitely not going to look believable, but he still prayed to all the gods in the universe, even the ones he didn't believe in, to help him out here. Just this once. "Okay," she sounds suspicious, he notices, but he's thankful enough she doesn't press further and leaves the thought at that. "I'm Seoyoung," and Jeno inwardly screams as he knows what question is coming next, "What's your name?" What was his name? Meaning, what was his fake name going to be? Like an idiot, he almost gives himself away, "I'm Jen-- Jen. Yeah, Jen." He can practically feel the disbelief in her expression, and quickly goes back to the soup to avoid her gaze. "What about your surname?" 'Are you serious?' Is what he wants to say, but plays along for the sake of hiding his identity. "Uh," he notices the material of the table, and blurts out a "Wood. Jen Wood."

"So your name is Jen...Wood." "Yes." She sighs, gets up to wash her own bowl, and shakes her head. "I didn't think you'd lie for that long." Yeah, he's busted. "I know you're the prince, by the way. Nobody eats soup with a spoon around here unless they're a noble, and you gave yourself away when you basically said your name, Prince Jeno."

His shoulders sag, half in relief, and half in an apathetic resignation to the fact that now that she knew who he was, so would everyone else. And then word would reach his parents that he'd snuck out of the palace and he'd have to say goodbye to any sliver of a chance at freedom until he either ascended the throne or died before then. "Do you think, you could, like, maybe, not tell anyone?" Being unsure of yourself and not even putting up a fight was not how his mother had taught him to negotiate, but desperate times called for desperate measures. "Please?" He begs. "I won't say a word. In fact, you were never here," Oh, yes! Freedom was still a possibility- "On one condition." Never mind. "You keep coming here. To see me." Honestly speaking, there was no true reason why Jeno would have to go see Seoyoung on a regular basis, aside from avoiding the wrath of his parents, but even so, hanging out with her more often seemed like an attractive concept on its own. So he agreed. "It's a deal," and it was. From that point on, Seoyoung became his, well, your, replacement. He finally had a friend he could pour out his emotions to, one that wasn't handpicked by his parents to make worthwhile connections with, who he could be the same Jeno from the Southern Isles with, not the uptight prince from the Mainland. The addition of Jaemin, the son of rich merchants who sometimes made Jeno question why he was a prince when Jaemin seemed so much better suited, and Renjun, a noble who understood Jeno's struggles even if he was a little too blunt for his liking, altogether made Jeno, for the first time in a long time, feel at home in his own home. And so life continued like that; going out with Jaemin and Renjun to meet with Seoyoung. Games of tag and hide and seek in the woods soon turned into intense chess battles, mock swordfights, in depth discussions about literature, learning more about the subjects Jeno would soon rule over - there wasn't a single way life could get any better. It's the end of a day spent just with Seoyoung for Jeno. They're sat in their usual spot, across from each other on the same wooden table they had their first meeting on. A candle, mid-burnt, sits in the middle, its wavering light hitting all the right points on her face. Her eyes, a warm brown, are illuminated, her hair, a deep burgundy, looking so silken Jeno's afraid to even breathe in its direction so as not to disturb it, and the curve of her lips, forever locked in a halfway point between the smirk he's grown to love so much and a simple pout, look more appealing now than they ever have done. Locking eyes with her, he moves the candle to one side and leans in, asking for consent. There's a nod of her head and a coy wink and suddenly his lips are on hers and it feels so, so amazing- and then she pushes him away.

"You're a prince, Jeno. We can't do this," she whispers. "What if someone sees you?" He looks at her for a long moment, throwing all thoughts of you out of his mind. Who knew when he'd see you again anyways? "I don't care," he grins, "I'm here with you now, and that's all that matters." He leaves Seoyoung's house that night with swollen lips and a heart so light it could float off into the distance and Jeno wouldn't even notice. He arrives home, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide, parading around his chambers like a lovesick fool, when he sees it. Sealed with the usual blue wax stamp of his parents, resting on his desk, lies an envelope. Tentatively, he opens it, skim reading the contents until he finds the sentence that shocks him so much he has to read it twice: 'You shall be returning to the Southern Isles within the next 3 days. Prepare accordingly.' After removing all thoughts of you from his mind, the memories he has with you return like opened floodgates. The heaviest thing on his mind is how to tell you about Seoyoung- the right thing, the noble thing to do would be to break up with her - but that would break her heart, and telling you about her would break yours. He could always not say anything and spare both of you the pain...Yes. Yes, he could do that. He was going to do that. -- When you got the news that Jeno would be returning to your kingdom, you were, not to sound like a cheesy young adult novel or anything, beside yourself with excitement. You'd rushed to your chambers upon hearing the news, penning letter after letter while also throwing letter after letter away, just until you could find exactly the right words to greet him with. When you received your first letter back from him - your first letter back from him in a long time - you could practically feel through his familiar and yet different messy scrawl just how much he'd changed. Personality wise, that was. You had to admit that the only image you had of Jeno was the bright eyed, quiet little 12 year old you'd waved goodbye to 6 years prior, so you'd envisioned that image when writing to him. When you formally greeted him in the throne room of your palace, though, you were most definitely surprised, to say the least.

Gone was the Jeno whose height you'd always make fun of - now he was taller, had grown into his features - which had gone from rounded cheeks and a soft profile to harsher lines, a defined jawline and an aura that gave off the feeling that he was now more royal than anything else. He was lean yet built, his previous bowl cut, now changed into straight black locks, strands of which fell across his forehead in the best way you could imagine. You were sure that if you looked up the definition of 'prince' in a dictionary, a picture of Lee Jeno would be right beneath it. The fact that you were betrothed to him had never been an important aspect of your thoughts, never something you even deigned to think about, but when he looked like that, you were beginning to enjoy the prospect of seeing him every day in your near future. You walk up to him and curtsey, trying your best to fight the grin arising on your face. "Your Highness," you breathe, eyes sparkling. "Princess," he nods, one corner of his mouth turning up into a half smile, while you try your hardest to ignore the sudden increase in your heart rate. His eyes, a warm chocolate brown, were so intoxicating could stare into them forever, and for what felt like it, you did. You took a step forward, but a quick eyebrow raise from Jeno and a nudge to your side by your mother soon reminds you of your apparent duties as a host, guiding your betrothed to his rooms being one of them. On the way there, you ask him as many questions as you can; how he's been, what he's been up to, what friends he made - but his answers are all short sentences and one worded, a haughty mix of 'yeses', 'no's' and 'I don't know's'. Sneaking a sideways glance at him, you wondered when he'd become so closed off. His expression looks downcast and yet apathetic; like he'd rather be anywhere else than here. You ask him if he received your last letter, and he barely replies with anything more than a noncommittal "Mm." The walk continues, silent and uncomfortable, and when you do finally arrive at his chambers he storms in without a thanks or a goodbye. You're left confused, unsettled, and more than a little hurt. After all, this was supposed to be 2 best friends reuniting at last, not two strangers meeting for the first time. Dinner goes worse. Multiple times you try to make conversation and multiple times he letter away, just until you could find exactly the right words to greet him with. When you received your first letter back from him - your first letter back from him in a long time - you could practically feel through his familiar and yet different messy scrawl just how much he'd changed. Personality wise, that was. You had to admit that the only image you had of Jeno was the bright eyed, quiet little 12 year old you'd waved goodbye to 6 years prior, so you'd envisioned that image when writing to him. When you formally greeted him in the throne room of your palace, though, you were most definitely surprised, to say the least. completely ignores you. You look at your parents, who are engaged in their own conversation, and you roll your eyes - at how oblivious they are not to notice their own 'son-in-law's actions, and how frustrated you are at said son-in-law as well. You go to sleep that night even more confused, and you wake up disgruntled and unimpressed. At breakfast, you attempt to make eye contact with him sat directly across from you only for him to, again, blatantly ignore you. Clearly irritated, you stab at your food, making your emotions (however childish) known. "Y/N, do you have something to say?" Your intense eating caught the attention of your parents, while the one person's attention you wanted was still engrossed in his meal. Great. "No, Father. Just hungry." You try your best to control your tone, not in the mood for another lecture about your attitude at dinner. While they had become less frequent over the years as you matured, times like these, where your temper got the best of you, still arose. "It doesn't look as though you are just hungry. What have I told you about your attitude when eating, Y/N?" ...This couldn't be serious. Much to your distaste, your mother decides to join the conversation, "You should really try to be a little more considerate, Y/N. It's not polite to be so... aggressive around your betrothed." Knowing your mother to be the more relaxed one of your parents, it's hard to say you don't feel a little betrayed at her taking your father's side. Luckily, your father changes the subject and you hold back sighing in relief. "Speaking of aggression, have you heard about the Northern Empire's movements lately?" "Ah- yes, I did hear from one of my advisers - their leader is claiming one of the western border towns as their own - troops are already stationed there, apparently," You look between your parents as your mother shakes her head, running her fingers through her perfectly styled hair, the crease in your father's brow deepening as he frowns in worry. "It seems the the threat of the Northern Empire is manifesting sooner than we thought, dear." The Empire's occupation of the Western border towns meant it would only be a matter of time before they invaded the Southern Mainland, and soon enough the Isles - bad news for you, and even worse for Jeno. "The question is now, what to do before we find them at our doorstep - Y/N, what are your thoughts?" You clear your throat before speaking. "Wouldn't the obvious thing be to send diplomats to work out a deal, but prepare troops at home for when they do arrive?" It made sense in your mind; you had the best of both worlds - peaceful talks with protection if worst came to worst. Your father shakes his head, pursing his lips. "That would take money, resources, and most importantly, time." Looking towards you, he adds, "Time we don't have!" For emphasis. Your lips curl, annoyed at his blatant shutdown of what you thought was a great plan, but school your features into neutrality when he glares at you briefly. "What do you think, Jeno? This is a matter that concerns you the most, after all." Your ears prick up at the mention of his name, mildly intrigued to hear his take - if he even bothered to reply. "I actually agree with Y/N," he says. You hear your mother squeal in joy and fight to keep the cringe off your face. "Darling, how cute," she whispers, "Husband and wife agreeing with each other!" Your father coos along with her, while you look on, unimpressed. You look across to see Jeno blush, and are pleasantly surprised to see that even after 6 years, he still blushes just the same as he used to -- eyes cast down, lips turned up in a shy smile, hand reaching to run through his hair before it stops mid air and falls down again, anxious not to ruin it. Breakfast finishes with no further interruption- that is, until your parents stop the two of you as you're leaving to recommend (read: force) you both to take a walk through the gardens to see how things have changed. -- He's ignoring you. Again. Why you thought there'd be a sudden change in the pattern of Jeno blatantly blindsiding you every time you were alone was beyond you, but the feeling doesn't get any less uncomfortable every time he does it. Having had enough, you pull to one side, the force almost throwing the two of you off balance and into some bushes, but you ask - no, demand - just what exactly his problem is, and his reply isn't what you expect. "I don't have a problem, Y/N." Oh, please. "Someone who doesn't have a problem wouldn't pretend their childhood friend doesn't exist after not seeing them for 6 years, Jano," You hiss, "So I'll ask again. What is your problem with me? What have I done?" You hate the pleading lilt that infects the tone of your voice in the second question, and you hate that you can't help it when he still looks so stoic. His expression breaks though, shoulders sagging for what you notice is the first time since his arrival, a defeated sigh leaving his lips. "You didn’t do anything, Y/N,". "I- I guess I'm just used to acting a certain way back home-- it's hard to adjust," "You were never like this before," "That was then. This is now."

You felt a sense of regret at not sending more letters after Jeno left - as his best friend, you should've done more to let him confide in you. Then, at least, you wouldn't have this uneasy feeling in your chest that you needed to get to know him all over again. "Sorry, though." He continues, "For acting so cold towards you - I guess I was taking out my frustration at always having to be a certain way out on you - you didn't deserve that." "I know we haven't really spoken for a long while, but I'm still your best friend. You can tell me anything." There's a look shared between you both, and you get the feeling that Jeno understands. "You're in my kingdom, now, not yours. Things are different here, remember?" You tease, lightly nudging him with your elbow. The two of you chuckle at that and continue walking, simultaneously falling into step and into the easy, free flowing conversation you'd wanted to have since he'd arrived, It's dotted with reminiscing and head thrown back laughs at old inside jokes - and it's finally like nothing had changed. You listen in rapt wonder as he goes into depth about the adventures him and 2 other boys named Jaemin and Renjun go on, you smile in adoration as he describes his 3 favourite cats he's forced to keep in the servants quarters due to his allergies and the wrath of his parents if they discovered 'vermin' in the palace, as they described it, and you heave a sigh of nostalgia as he complains about not being able to have intense flour battles in the palace kitchens in the early hours of the morning, like the 2 of you used to, when he was here. He listens in content as you tell him about the situations that led you to meet Chenle and Haechan, as you giggle to yourself while describing them, watches the way your expression lights up as you tell him about all the new hobbies you'd picked up, the new places you'd discovered and had quickly marked as yours, and jumps as you grab his wrist and drag him along, through winding paths and bushes of flowers sculpted into arches, into an open spot, surrounded by flora. The vibrance of them almost blinds him, their beauty enough to render anyone speechless. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" You smile at him, pleased at the astonished look in his eyes. "I come here when I want to relax," you continue, understanding his silence. "It's amazing," he breathes, before looking at you with a smile so bright it throws you a little. When you grab his wrist a second time to lead him to other places, the slip of his hand into yours doesn't go unnoticed. -- Jeno was only meant to be staying for a few months this time before it was your turn to visit his lands for the impending wedding. The past 2 months of his stay, although awkward at first, had been just like old times, with the exception of various instances that were more reminiscent of a couple and less of 2 best friends.

It was one instance in particular, though, that signified a shift in the air between the two of you. It was humid in the city - the air hot and sticky and the typical royal wear the two of you wore, although thin, seemed to exacerbate the uncomfortable feeling that dominated you both. You'd been sent on an outing through the town to greet the people and make a good impression, as your father had put it, for once leaving his study to speak to the both of you. The humidity you felt wasn't just because of the weather, though - for the entirety of your walk, every face you smiled at, every conversation you made, every cat you'd be forced to stop and pet - Jeno's hand had been firmly clasped in yours. The only time you were apart was when Jeno had left to 'get something'. What it was, you didn't know. Walls painted a pure white to reflect as much sunlight as possible, Shelves around the shop filled with touches of domesticity - a picture here, a souvenir there - and the slightly irritating smell of the flowers, displayed around the room in bouquets of varying sizes are what welcomed Jeno as he stepped into the flower shop. The florist, a middle aged lady with a twinkle in her eye and a knowing smile, waves as Jeno walks in, him nodding in return as the two make small conversation before she turns to work. "Take good care of her," she calls, busying herself with various bits and bobs here and there, shaking Jeno out of his brief gaze around the store. "I swear to," He replies, running his fingers over the petals of the various bouquets. "Are you sure? The people would have your head if you didn't." He turns to face the florist. Her back is towards him, but her tone of voice commands his attention. It's a beat too long before he replies. "Of course I'm sure!" He smiles, as wide as his cheeks sill let him - the florist turns to face him, her expression mimicking his. He hopes her eyes, seemingly searching for something in his gaze, don't notice the guilty pang in his chest. She seems satisfied with whatever she finds there, breaking the stare and taking a weight off Jeno's shoulders as a result. Busying herself compiling flowers together, a bouquet, she speaks again. "Y/N..." she begins forming a bouquet , picking flowers here and there to add to it. "She's like a beacon to us, you know? She's our princess," the florist pauses for a second, looking nostalgic. "When she was born, the country celebrated for 3 days and nights. I still remember it like it was yesterday." He can see her eyes getting glassy, and he hesitates whether he should make an effort to comfort her or leave her alone. He chooses the latter. "And now... now she's all grown up! Betrothed, to be married! So take care of her," she leans forward, near-pleading. The bouquet is done, and she hands it to him. "I- I will. I promise," Jeno declares, his clasp on the bouquet tightening with his words. The guilty pang returns as he leaves, and increases in intensity as you come into view. The promise he made in there sounded as real as ever - because he'd forgotten about Seoyoung for a second. The closer he got to you, however, the better he saw your eyes light up at his presence, your features breaking into a relieved smile, widening further once you noticed the bouquet in his hands, the clearer it became that he was playing you for a damned fool. -- There's a comfortable silence in your carriage home. Feeling tired from walking around so much, you find your head leaning towards, and then resting on, Jeno's shoulder. It was less than comfortable considering the texture of the road caused your head to bump his shoulder a little too hard every now and again, but you didn't mind. He calls your name, breaking the quiet. "Y/N." You grunt a reply, flitting in and out of consciousness. "Y/N," he calls again, a whine to his voice this time. You grunt again, wanting to stay in your reverie just a little longer. "Y/N~" You look up at him, exasperated. "What?" You cry out, before his lips are on yours and then suddenly gone. It was a quick peck, a mere meeting of the lips, for lack of a better phrase. Short, sweet, but oh-so meaningful. He says nothing for the rest of the ride, but the strawberry flush across his cheeks tells you everything you wanted to know anyway. Yes, Jeno kissed you - just to get his mind off Seoyoung. But the heat he felt bloom across his face and the sharp increase in his pulse made him question if his feelings for Seoyoung were as intense as he thought they were if just one kiss with you made him feel this way.

-- You have to hide the obvious shock in your expression when he starts sitting next to you at breakfast the next morning. "Jeno." "Hm?" "What are you- Why are you here. On this side." "Am I not allowed to sit next to you?" "No, it's just- never mind." You have to hide the embarrassment when he asks himself when you'd become so breathtaking loud enough for you to hear. "You're so beautiful," He breathes. He's sitting a table away from you, in the palace library. "What? What did you say?" "Nothing! Nothing," You have to force yourself not to bury your head in the nearest pillow, fabric, hell, cloth - when he starts sneaking kisses from you at every opportunity. "Y/N, my leg hurts." He's draped himself over the chaise longue in your chambers, preferring to spend most of his time there rather than anywhere else. You’re stood over him, hands on your hips. You found his presence a welcome occurrence, happy to get closer with him. "...Okay, let's go to the infirmary together. I'll walk you," "No, no! Not the infirmary." You frown, suspicious. "I think I need a different kind of treatment..." He looks at you expectantly, batting his lashes. "I don't understand." You hear him grumble under his breath, before his hand snakes around your waist and drags you so close your nose s are touching. "Do you understand now?" He whispers, eyes locking yours into place. His lips brush yours, still holding that gaze, and you almost lose the strength to stand as he kisses you properly, smoothly, before pulling away with a cursed wink. You start as a servant bursts through the doors, chest heaving, running towards Jeno and pressing an envelope, sealed with the familiar blue wax stamp of his kingdom, into his hands before running right back out again. The two of you share a look, then focus on the letter as Jeno opens the envelope and you lean over to read it's contents. The Northern Empire has invaded. Return at once. Concise. Clear. Just like the king and queen of the Southern Mainland. At the news, he immediately turns to leave your room, you following, but struggling to keep up. "Where are you going?" he asks. "I'm coming with you, obviously," you say, a little breathless. You stumble, bumping into him as he abruptly stops. "No, you're not," he says, looking confused. "Yes, I am," you reply, daring him to challenge you on the matter. "If you think I'm going to let you put your life at risk-" "I won't be putting anything at risk, because we'll be together." You caress his jaw, a thumb rubbing circles onto the skin. "I can't protect you all the time. You're safer here," he presses, frowning in worry. "Stay," he begs. "Please?" You take a deep breath, looking directly at him. "Jeno. I'm going with you." You shake your head at his open mouth, stopping him from saying the words he so desperately wants to say. "We're going," your hands move to his shoulders, squeezing them lightly, "to solve this, together. Because that's what a future king," you say, raising your eyebrows at him for emphasis, " and queen do." You continue, still holding his gaze. "And as my future husband," Neither of you can deny the increase in the pace of your hearts at that phrase, "You should have faith in me to defend myself. Okay?" He releases a breath through his nose, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. "Okay," He whispers. "Okay." He says, louder, as if confirming something within himself. -- The first thing you noticed when you stepped off the boat was how fundamentally different everything was. Where the Isles had streets, although a little less than clean, filled with housing that never looked alike, due to the owners having free reign in how they built it, the Mainland had rows upon rows of identical houses, streets so pristine the suns rays practically reflected off of them. Where the Isles had a mixture of well established shops and stalls that the city's residents would set up and put away each working day, the Mainland had stores on every corner. The whole city was organised, like everything and everyone had a place to be. It was mesmerising, to say the least. The palace, and its inhabitants, gave ample reason as to why the city looked the way it did. Matching the overall aesthetic of the city, the Mainland Palace was tall, angular in shape, with white, grey, and blue dominating the overall colour scheme - not a hair out of place - a stark contrast to the golds and greens of the palace back home. The people, especially Jeno's parents, were exactly as Jeno had described in the short months you'd been together and gotten to know each other even better than you did as kids - uptight, stiff, and closed off, even more so now there were northern empire troops; the same troops your parents had betrothed the two of you together to avoid, now stationed further out in the country. You didn’t know whether to feel offended or not when they simply nodded in return to your greeting of them, but an explanation from Jeno as he guided you to your chambers soon let you know that the nodding were his parents actually being nice, for once. Your heart sank as you wondered if this was the kind of atmosphere Jeno had to deal with when he’d returned here 6 years ago, and how he’d even managed to survive it that long. “I know what you’re thinking,” he states, a smirk in his voice. He’s looking directly ahead, but he sensed the change in your mood the second you went silent. You look at him, studying his profile, the same profile you adored looking at so much; studying the length of his eyelashes, the slight to-and-fro sway of his fringe, the natural pout of his lips, and wonder again how a boy so perfect could’ve been subjected to somewhere like this. A place that looked perfect, but seemed far from it. “Don’t feel bad for me,” he warns, turning the handle to your chambers as he stops outside of it. “I’m fine now. I have you, don’t I?” you look at him a beat longer, studying his face for any sign of restraint, of sadness, and slump in relief as there is none. You nod, half-smiling, "Yes. You do," and walk in.

-- It was amazing, you thought, just how fast the Northern Empire had managed to take a quaint little town on the edge of Jeno's kingdom, once filled with the typical repeated angular structure of housing commonly seen in the Mainland, and turn it into a home of their own - every roof of every house was plastered with the angry and intimidating red and black flags of the Empire, a reminder who had control, who would gain more of it if you and Jeno didn't get them out by today. The first thing you noticed, as the two of you trekked up the hill to the Empire's camp, were the fire-lit torches. The smoke they emitted smelled vulgar, the wind that blew never once affected their flame. You could see the opening of the town they'd invaded the closer you came, managed to get a glimpse of a citizen being roughed up by one of the guards, before a figure clothed in red and black, wearing a mask disguising their face, appears. "Royalty," they murmur, their voice travelling along the wind, barely noticeable yet just loud enough to understand. You feel the visible shiver running down your spine, the strangeness to their voice making you uncomfortable. Jeno's clasp on your hand, pulling you backwards behind him doesn't go unnoticed by the figure. "Cute." They chuckle, before lightly beckoning the two of you to follow, heading further into their camp with an unnatural smoothness to their gait. Jeno tilts his head, sure some notes to that quiet whisper of the stranger's voice were familiar to him, that he'd heard them before - a different time, a different place, perhaps. He's so engrossed in his thoughts he barely notices you dragging him along, trying to keep up with the stranger while simultaneously avoiding the harsh gazes of the Empire's guards stationed everywhere. He bumps into your back, and you stumble as you stop in front of what you assumed to be the captain's tent, the stranger who greeted you at the gates clapping twice outside the flaps before disappearing. Mystery seemed a recurring theme amongst the soldiers of the Northern Empire, all including the Captain, hiding every feature but their gaze with the same red and black mask. Personality wise, the Captain spoke in circles, sometimes cryptic, sometimes misleading - but it was worth it when you and Jeno left the tent with a stamped agreement that would soon get the Northern soldiers out of Jeno's lands. "I'm proud of you, you know." You're the first to break the silence, beaming at him as you get nearer to the carriage. "You did really well in there - like a king," you add, elbowing him for emphasis. He scoffs and smiles, a slight tinge to his cheeks at the compliment. "I couldn't have done it without you, though," he steps aside to let you board the carriage first, climbing in after you, "Queen," he teases, mimicking your movements from earlier. The ride back to the castle was uneventful, and neither of you failed to notice the gradual steady slump in each others shoulders the further away you got from the unsettling loom of the Empire's camp.

News of the agreement was music to everyone's' ears - especially those of the rulers of the Southern Mainland. Both you and Jeno have to force your jaws from dropping at the announcement of a ball to celebrate your combined success, but only one of you has to strategically hide his fingers curling into fists, taut with fear at the secret in danger of being revealed from the roving gaze of his parents. -- The palace did not look so different from its usual appearance when sculptures, fountains, and tables you hadn't seen before decorated areas around the ballroom floor. You'd spent the first few minutes of the ball with Jeno; you'd followed with him as he greeted nobles, nodded in his parents direction, and introduced you to his friends, the ones he'd told you about when you were in the humid heat of the Isles, before quickly disappearing off, summoned to his parents side to 'discuss courtly matters,' he'd said. You had no issue; after all, a peck on the forehead from him was a sufficient goodbye until he found you later. Jeno was right in his description of Na Jaemin; the man was beautiful, truly no other way to describe him - and, for the son of merchants, exuded a royal air far stronger, far more used to, than any other royal you'd met prior. Where Na Jaemin was kind words bordering on a flirt, smiles bright enough to melt the coldest of hearts, Huang Renjun was, despite being born into nobility, as you'd learned, more rough around the edges than anything else. It was a wonder, you'd noted, that the two boys hadn't been switched at birth at some point long ago, given the stark difference in their personalities. A contrast to Jaemin, Renjun was blunt, had jokes that sometimes made you question whether he meant them maliciously or not, but overall carried himself with an adult sort of grace that you'd come to respect in your short conversation with him, before both him and Jaemin had been dragged off to dance with ladies neither of them knew of. Jaemin and Renjun seemed like good people - this you knew - but why did their eyebrows raise, why did a look of surprise - however fleeting - mar their faces as Jeno introduced you to them? It was that thought you pondered on, had your forehead lightly pulsing with pain as your brow became more and more creased the further into thought you went, when you found him. Found Jeno, or his silhouette, at least, dancing with a girl whose features you couldn't quite place. Well, dancing wasn't a crime - you could go and say hello, tell him how you were feeling about the ball, about his friends - in fact you'd even taken around 4 steps towards the two, hope rising in your chest, when you saw it. Jeno's forehead leaning against the girls, the two of them sharing a longing stare you'd never seen directed towards you, as they, in the presence of all on the ballroom floor, like they hadn't a care in the world, kissed. Kissed. There's a heaviness in your body, a visceral pang in your chest; you aren't sure if you can even take another step - but you carried on, pressed on, towards their dreaded spot, determined to confront the liar who had been your betrothed through all these months, weeks, years. The girl is the first to notice your presence, and you try not to get to caught up in the fact that your own husband to be was so wrapped up in someone else that he couldn't even deign to notice you. "Oh, hi!" She waves. "Are you a friend of Jeno's?" She didn't even know who you were. Of course she wouldn't. Why would he tell her he was betrothed to marry a girl from a different kingdom and had been for the past decade. You nodded in reply, swallowing to try and get the lump out of your throat. Glancing at Jeno, you noticed how he'd visible stiffness to his posture, like he'd been caught doing something wrong. The problem was that he had. He had been caught doing something wrong, and that made it worse. Why? Because it confirmed that he knew. The whole time since he'd returned to you, he'd known. You didn't think the pain could get any worse. "Who are you, if I may ask?" You can barely get out more than a choked up whisper. Your eyes heat up as her perfect smile widens. "Oh, I'm Jeno's girlfriend!" Four words. Four excruciatingly painful words. Love was never a familiar concept to you, at least not in the romantic sense, but you felt that you'd begun to learn what it was during your time with Jeno. She introduced herself as Seoyoung. The longer you stood there, forcing yourself to act as though you weren't feeling your heart break into pieces, the more you saw the appeal. An angelic smile, a kind voice with an addictive country twang to it - safe to say it did wonders for your own self confidence. Introducing yourself afterward, you curtsied and left as quickly as you could, trying not to be rude but at the same time not really caring. You brushed past Renjun on the way out, eyes hot with tears, and the pitiful look on his face you saw - albeit a little blurry - confirmed everything once more. Just how stupid could you be? How stupid did he think you could be? To lead you on, to make you fall for him, to feed you false dreams while he was living them with someone else the entire time? How could he? Not caring about where you went, just that you needed to be alone, opened the first door that seemed unlocked. What a coincidence, then, that the first door you opened led into the room of the last person you wanted to see. Forest green bed sheets, stark white walls, everything organized and in its place. Vanilla and nutmeg permeated your nostrils-- of course the room would smell like him, it was his room after all. You walked around, finding paintings of him and his family on the walls, papers, organised into neat piles on his desk, a black leather-bound book on his dresser. You had an inkling of what it was, and against your better judgement, you opened it. You read line after line of somewhat mediocre poetry dedicated to Seoyoung, scattered journal entries about Seoyoung, drawings of Seoyoung. Everything was about Seoyoung. And if it wasn't about her, it was about everyone else but you. His parents, his servants, his tutors, his friends-- it was as though you didn't exist. Had you meant anything to him, at all? You hear footsteps, the door opening and closing, and freeze. A hand rests on your shoulder and you whip round, coming face to face with the last person you wanted to see.

"Y/N." he calls, tentative. You have to clench your hands into fists to avoid slapping him across the face. "Can we- Can we talk?" You've never felt more hurt, more saddened, but most of all, embarrassed - the last thing you'd ever want to look like is a fool and yet here he is, someone you thought you could trust more than anyone else, playing you for one. "Why." You reply, cold. As the two of you stand in uncomfortable silence, you begin to connect the dots. "Because I need to explain. Listen, I-" "Was it a lie?" You cut him off, and Jeno hates how defeated, how quiet you are - like he's made you into a shell of the person you were. "What? Was what a lie?" "The explanation. Was it a lie." It made sense, when you thought about it. He wasn't closed off because of his parents, because of the life he had to lead - he was closed off, blunt, rude, every disrespectful name under the sun; because by not getting close to you, it would make it easier for him to go back to his little girlfriend back home and pretend his little stint with you in the Isles was nothing more than a trip for princely activities, if she ever asked. "No, of course not. I could never lie to you about that, Y/N." You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Oh please." You say, having had enough. "You didn't want me to come here because you were scared I'd see her. You only let me come here because you thought you could somehow keep her a secret, have your fun with her and then come back to me and lie to my face. You didn't leave me to talk to your parents. You left me to go and find her. Because you don't care about me, Jeno. You never did." You push past him at that, heading for the door, ignoring his cries after you. "Y/N, will you just wait! Please," He grabs your wrist, forcing you to a stop. "Jeno." You warn, "I want nothing to do with you." At that, he lets you go, and you storm off, through the hallways into your own room, wincing as you bark at a handmaid to begin packing your things, readying to leave. You were over the Southern Mainland. You just wanted to go home.

A crash and a scream break you out of your sombre mood. Opening the door a sliver, you peek out of your room to see absolute chaos - members of the royal guard shouting and yelling at people to be calm, gentry, nobility, and everyone else running to find an exit in panic, and men you don't recognize in familiar uniforms locked in battle with knights clad in the white and grey of the Southern Mainland. Creaking the door wider, as you watched more and more southern mainland knights fall one by one, you realised why the uniform seemed so familiar; because it belonged to the Empire. They'd disregarded your agreement and come to attack anyway - and there's a sinking feeling at the pit of your stomach as you consider the implications of it.

Opening the door wider, you break into a run, heading back to Jeno's room, despite your mind screaming at you not to. Irrespective of how much you hated him right now though, you needed to know if he was okay - if there was anyway you could both try and fix this mess. You find him before you get there, sword in hand, locked in battle with an Empire knight, and you wish you had a weapon of your own to fight with. There - peeking out amongst the mix of the fallen and injured, you grab a sword from a fallen enemy and slam it's pommel into the head of someone behind Jeno, the thud of their collapse alerting him to your presence. "…You saved me," he says, voice heavy with gratitude. "Don't mention it. Where are your parents?" You demand. "I don't know," he admits, "Haven't seen them since I left the ball." A pregnant silence falls. "…I haven't seen her either, if that's what you were gonna ask." "I wasn't." You grit out, picking up the sword again and swinging at another attacker with it. The knight meets the blow with a shield - he stumbles with the impact, but the blow isn't hard enough as he moves to attack again. This time it's Jeno who saves you, subduing the attacker permanently. He looks at you expectantly, but you brush him off, dropping the sword, and break into a light run, signalling him to come along. "We should keep moving. Find your parents and figure out what to do," He nods. You don't say anything else. He doesn't either. Both your minds are too preoccupied with the growing destruction around you - the yells and battle cries, the groans of pain, the screams of civilians -- it almost gets too much, but you shove those feelings away. You can't afford to be weak right now - you have people to protect damnit and you'd sooner die than let anything get in your way. The two of you check a multitude of places in the palace as you look for Jeno's parents - the ballroom, the study, the library- all empty. Its when you check the throne room, however, that you find what you seek. Surrounded by countless soldiers all bearing the northern empire emblem, there Jeno's parents knelt, unable to move. Luckily, you hadn't been discovered just yet, but you could tell from the corner of your eye that Jeno was going to ruin it. Digging your nails into his wrist, you shoot him a look - his eyes burn with protest at first, but he submits as you strain your ears to listen in. The voice you do hear, spitting venom, sends a visible chill down Jeno's spine. The previous bubbly lilt had gone, replaced with a hard, rough growl. Uncomfortable, in disgust, you watched as she kicked, pushed, and laughed at jeno's parents, and you felt Jeno himself shake in anger, ears getting red as he tried to hold it in. Angrier and angrier you felt him become; until he just... stopped shaking. Like a heavy calm overtook him, like he was on the border of extreme anger and extreme apathy. There was no question that you were a hair's breadth away from saying you despised Jeno right about now, but the sight of Seoyoung, someone he obviously trusted, blatantly disrespect his parents made your own blood boil - but so far you'd managed to stay composed. It was only when she asked - no - demanded the king and queen kiss her feet that you broke your silence. "That's enough." Your heart leaps into your throat as you say it, a sliver of regret already entering your mind, and you gulp as she languidly turns to look at you. "Oh? Looks like we have guests." She makes some kind of signal to her guards, you don't know what, but you do know it results in the king and queen being removed from the area, through doors and into a room you don't know the contents of. Your arm begins to ache with how hard you have to grip Jeno to stop him from going any closer to Seoyoung, and it gets worse as he speaks. "Lay a hand on them Seoyoung and I swear-" "-Oh I won't do anything to them," she grins, catlike. "As long as you do something for me." Eyes narrowing, you step back, apprehensive. Seoyoung looks at Jeno stepping in front of you, hand on his hilt, and laughs - quite familiarly, you note, to the figure that greeted you when you went to the Empire's camp a few weeks prior. "Why so afraid? It's fairly simple…. I should hope." "All you have to do," she continues, voice lowering to an unsettling purr, the contrast to her earlier persona still throwing you off, "Is kneel before your queen," she preens, ascending the steps and positioning herself comfortably on the queen's throne. Jeno grunts in frustration, Seoyoung simply grins in satisfaction. "What is it that you want?" He pleads, strained. As slowly as she sat down, Seoyoung rises, making her way to and around Jeno, her movements serpentine. "Oh, I just want what every young girl wants," she sighs, dreamily, trailing a finger down his arm as she circles the room, "True love and a reckoning, blood, fire, a pony…" She stepped closer, lips brushing his ear, "the precious little crown you're going to inherit."

Eyes aflame with anger you shoved between them, "The people would never accept you as their queen." You spat, and with an unnerving tilt of her head, Seoyoung's gaze met yours, lips curved into a half smile. The next second, as she continued to stare, you saw a flash of something flare up in her gaze. You realised what it was as your legs were suddenly screaming in agony, a sharp pain forcing you to kneel and a dark aura radiated from her. Looking to Jeno for help, you tried to get his attention, only hearing his grunts of pain to tell you he was in the same boat. "With all due respect, darling," she purred, bending to your height, her half smile widening into a complacent simper, "I think they will." She nodded at her guards, and together they left with a flourish, the slam shut of the door you and Jeno had entered through finally allowing the pain to stop. Bodies exhausted, dregs of agony still refusing to leave your bones, you help each other up and set off to find Jeno's parents. The walk is rightfully silent, the clack of your shoes against the floor the only sound permeating the air. You find them, thankfully okay, just unconscious and tied up, and the two of get to work undoing the ties. "We should wake them up," you grunt, back towards Jeno, "Tell them to get somewhere safe." "I think we should leave them here. Let them rest and wake up in their own time." "There are people dying as we speak, Jeno, and you want to leave your parents here? To rest?" "At least I'll know where they are. I can send a guard to stay with them-" "Every guard is in battle with the Empire's forces right now! And if we leave them here, you forget that Seoyoung will know where they are as well." You pinch the bridge of your nose, progress to rubbing a thumb back and forth across your brow. "Do you- do you want her to find them?" Jeno is silent as you turn around, looking directly at him. "Are you working with her?" "Y/N, no. No, I would never do that, ever, not in a million years! You know me, Y/N," You give him a long look, taking a deep breath. "No, Jeno. I don't." A part of you feels like you shouldn't have doubted him that much, but a larger part of you knows you were right. You don't know Jeno. At least, not anymore. Once you get both parents awake, you give a brief summary of what went on and warn them to leave - and they do, albeit sceptically. Jeno's worry shows clear on his face, but you say nothing of it as the both of you continue to go through the palace, trying to find an exit that isn't barred by enemies, avoid Seoyoung and at the very least, find Jaemin and Renjun to regroup with all at the same time. Thankfully, you arrive at the palace courtyard in one piece, and find Jaemin and Renjun messily defending themselves against 4 other knights, who's swords kept dangerously close to Renjun's arm and Jaemin's neck. Exasperated, you huff, find another sword to use, and ram it into the nearest soldier - his choked out groans of pain combined with the coppery tang of his blood as it leaked out was enough to make bile rise in your throat, but you force it back down as you and Jeno join the battle to help take the weight off of Jaemin and Renjun. After subduing all of them, plus some extra who had appeared, the four of you leave the palace courtyard, running continuously until you're sure you're safe, and there's another awkward silence, everyone pointedly avoiding your gaze. You feel Jeno's hand still clasping yours, and shake it off, his touch uncomfortable. "So…where do we go from here?" Jaemin's the first to break the quietude. "We go home," you state. Renjun looks at you and then in the direction of the castle, confused. You huff, rubbing your temples. "My home." -- The four of you board a boat to the Isles early the next morning - after barely getting any sleep in the palace stables you'd had to take refuge in the night before - to avoid detection. You'd had no idea whether the Empire's forces had overrun the whole kingdom yet, and didn't want to take any chances by leaving later on when there was currently a bounty on the heads of those travelling with you. You all arrive home in one piece, and go your separate ways upon arrival; you and Jeno towards the palace, and Jaemin and Renjun towards the city to find a place to stay. You blatantly ignore Jeno for the first few days back - you return to sitting across from him at breakfast, you barely reply to his questions most times, and generally act like he doesn't exist. It works - but you know you can't keep it up for long. You conveniently hid the piece of information about Jeno practically cheating on you from your parents,so you knew you couldn't keep ignoring him forever without them noticing at some point and asking questions. It seemed that Jeno had come to this realisation also, as he cornered you in your room on one day that you'd been especially ignoring him, brushing him off whenever he even so much as breathed in your direction. "Jeno, get out of my--" "We need to talk. And I'm not leaving until you hear me out." You folded your arms. "There's nothing to talk about. You led me on, I fell for it, I found out, and now I hate you. What more is there to say?" His face fell. "You really hate me?" You sighed. Of course you didn't. But every time you closed your eyes, you saw the image of him kissing her again - so would it really be such a lie if you said you did? "…Just get out of my room, Jeno." He turned to leave, looking at you one last time, before going, shutting the door behind him as he went. Sighing, you threw yourself back onto your bed, staring at the ceiling, happy to be alone, when the door opened once more. It was Jeno again. "I'm sorry I just--I can't leave without telling you the truth,"

"What truth? That you loved her all along and now that she's shown herself to be some evil villain you think you can just come in here and- and use my feelings as some way to make yourself feel better?" Your voice began to shake, the lump in your throat appeared again, and your eyes watered and you hated that you were crying in front of him, that he'd made you like this because it wasn't fair, Goddamnit.

It wasn't fair that you still hurt so bad, while he didn't seem that hurt at all. If anything he seemed inconvenienced. Inconvenienced that everything had to come out like this. "I'm--I'm sorry, Y/N." His voice was a little rougher, a little choked up, and you could tell he was on the verge of breaking. He sat down at the edge of your bed, placing a hand on yours, tentatively. You don't pull away. "I met Seoyoung a year after I left. My parents didn't tell me when I would see you again; I didn't even think this would happen this soon," You nod, signalling him to continue. "I was lonely, and I found it hard to adjust to the way I used to be when you'd shown me so much more. Nobody but her really understood how I felt. She gave me an escape." A little smile graces his features, and your heart chips at the fact that if you weren't sure he loved you before, you could be certain he didn't love you now. Either way, you were finding this all a little hard to process - some girl he'd barely met when he moved home became his only friend due to his weird relationship with his parents. "I guess I just wanted to live as freely as I could before I was tied down forever." Tied down? Is that really what he thought being married to you would be like? Had he forgotten how close you were as children? "What about the ball," you whisper. "Huh?" his eyes flick over to yours and you meet his gaze. "I said. What about the ball. When I saw you," you struggle to get the final two words out, coming out as a reluctant mumble "….kissing her." He stiffens at that. "I didn't mean to kiss her," You cock a brow, heaving an exaggerated sigh. "Not in there, at least!" "So you meant to kiss her somewhere else? So I'd never find out?" You exclaim, scandalised. "No, no, that's not what I meant-- just listen to me--" "--I am, Jeno. And I'm struggling to see the point." He runs a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words. "I was going to tell her then. That we couldn't be together, that I was betrothed. But she kissed me and I--I don't know. I don't know anymore," "Then why lead me on? Why kiss me, why make me think that you wanted this, why use me?" "Because," he breathes, leaning towards you, "I love you, Y/N. I always have," For a moment you felt as though your heart could explode with joy. Your childhood friend-turned-crush-turned-lover confessing his love for you. If this was a different situation, it would've been everything you'd ever wanted. But you knew better. "Oh, save it. You're just saying that to make me feel better. You don't love me, Jeno. You just think you do." "I meant it, Y/N. I really do love--," You hold up a hand, cutting him off. "You love Seoyoung. Not me. We need to focus on stopping her anyways," The two of you make eye contact, Jeno's intense gaze meeting your stubborn one. Wordlessly, he goes to the door once more, saying one sentence before leaving. "I meant what I said. I'll prove it to you." You knew he didn't,at least you thought so. You thought you knew him better than anyone and you were clearly wrong about that so maybe, just maybe, you were wrong about this. But you had enough faith in yourself to know you were right. You avoided Jeno for the rest of the day aside from dinner when you absolutely had to be around him, and all through that he'd smile at you and pretend everything was okay. It made you sick to smile back, but you pushed through, determined not to let your parents suspect anything. Events in the Mainland and the issue of trying to protect the Isles already commanded most of their attention - letting them know that the practically lifelong betrothal they'd arranged had gone horribly wrong wasn't something you wanted to disclose just yet. Besides, if staying with Jeno meant the safety of your people, a little sacrifice of your happiness wouldn't be too much of a price to pay, you thought. The knights quarters had always been a second home to you - it was where you first met Haechan, where you made friends with Chenle, where you gave advice, got advice, told stories, played pranks, shared secrets - and now you were going there to share the biggest secret of all. You find Haechan's door, and you're about to enter when you pause. You can hear Chenle's signature laugh, Haechan's teasing lilt; that was fine - but why were Renjun and Jaemin's voices mixed in with them? You wouldn't call yourself childish, and you wouldn't call yourself petty either, but hell, you couldn't care less if people called you those things and more because the idea of Jaemin and Renjun making friends with your best friends made you feel more than slightly ill. Your parents had insisted Renjun and Jaemin stay in the palace once you'd told them all that had happened back on the Mainland - at first you'd been somewhat indifferent about it, but seeing them through the crack of the door - heads thrown back in laughter, eyes turned into crescents from their wide smiles - makes you suddenly wish you hadn't told your parents about them at all. You stand at the doorway, swing the door fully open, and wait for them to notice your presence. It's almost laughable, really, how fast Haechan and Chenle brighten even more when they see you, and how fast Renjun and Jaemin lose the smiles and clear their throats, trying to make a quick exit as Chenle grabs your wrist and drags you further in. "Y/N!" He beams, his smile easing the suffering in your heart a little. "Come sit!" You stand, uncomfortable, as Renjun and Jaemin's eyes are both suddenly pinned to the stone tiles of the floor. The grin slowly falls off of Chenle's face as he notices the cooling of the room's mood. "...Uh, guys?" He says, hoping someone other than him breaks the silence and soon. "I think we should go," Renjun suggests, sheepish, him and Jaemin both leaving before Chenle can even ask why. Throwing yourself onto Haechan's bed, just like you used to, you let out a defeated sigh. "Something you need to tell me about?" He jokes, lying next to you. "There are many things I need to talk to you about," you reply. "Hey, what about me?" Chenle chimes in, standing over the two of you. "The both of you," you correct, "There are many, many things I need to talk to the both of you about." And so you vent. You tell them everything, from beginning to end, and by the time you're done, it's a struggle trying to get the two of them not to go and give Jeno a piece of their minds. Chenle can do nothing but sink to a crouch, mouth open in disbelief. "I just don't get it," Haechan breathes. "You seemed so close, how could he- do something like that?" He grabs your hands and pulls you into his arms. "Y/N, I'm so sorry." Face half smushed into his chest, half not, you smile to the best of your ability. "It's ok," you mumble, defeated, "Well it isn't, but it's ok as it's going to be. I guess." Haechan's embrace is warm, tight, reassuring. As his hand rubs circles into your back, slightly rocking back and forth, you wonder if life would've been easier if you'd never been betrothed. If you'd somehow, by some weird stroke of fate, fallen for him instead of Jeno. At the very least, the biggest thing you'd have to worry about when marrying Haechan would be getting him to shut up. Being talkative was one of the traits the both of you shared, to a fault. You untangle yourself from him and meet his confused gaze. "Haechan, I need you to promise me something." "Of course." He nods along, wary. "Please, please don't bring this up to him," you wince as you say it because you can feel his judgement. "Y/N, you can't be serious." "Please, Haechan. I don't- I don't really want to hear about my husband cheating on me any more than necessary, you know?" The way your voice trails off in the latter part of that sentence loosens Haechan's resolve. "Fine," he grumbles, folding his arms. Chenle puts an awkward hand on your shoulder - he'd never really been one for physical contact - finally gathering some words to say. "No matter what happens, Y/N, we'll support you." The two of you nod at each other, and for once, the plague of Jeno on your mind is lifted, as you appreciate just how lucky you are to have friends as priceless as these. The reprieve is temporary, though, as two knocks in quick succession and a push at the door reveal Jeno, looking a little more exhausted than the last time you'd seen him. Chenle moves in front of you, and Haechan stands, the both of them stony-faced. "Is it okay if I come in?" Jeno asks, still standing at the threshold of the door. "I don't know," says Haechan. "Is it okay if I let a liar into my room?" You try to get his attention, to tell him to relax, but his focus is firmly fixed onto Jeno. "You can come in," whispers Chenle, and Haechan's head whips round to glare at him in shock. Chenle ignores it, and continues speaking. "Why did you come here?"

"Because," Jeno begins, "Because I wanted to know if I could make things right. If she'd let me." He tries to meet your eyes, and you can feel him looking at you, but you ignore it. He'd done enough damage, and you didn't even want to give him the time of day. Haechan seems to notice this, and speaks for you. "You want to know how to make things right? Get out of here," Jeno's expression goes from hopeful to crushed - you're glad he hasn't noticed you started looking at him. "Stop walking around here as though everything is fine, and go fix the mess in your own kingdom- a kingdom you're supposed to be future king of - before trying to save a marriage you ruined. What kind of king abandons his country in need?" The ire in Haechan's voice is so palpable you've never been more thankful that you weren't on the receiving end of it. There is a long silence after his speech of sorts, and all you hear from Jeno is a simple "Thank you," before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. "Before you get all angry at me, you never said I couldn't say anything about him, right Chenle?" Haechan begs, looking back and forth between you and Chenle, looking at you to make sure you don't kill him, and at Chenle for moral support. "He is kind of right there, Y/N." You groan at the both of them, rolling your eyes. -- You couldn't be angry at Haechan - because you agreed with what he said. He was right in what he said to Jeno, which was why you were angry at yourself for the fact that you were currently chasing Jeno down the hallway, for reasons you'd probably address when you were alone in your room at night - or any other time that wasn't right now. "Jeno!" You call, and chuckle, mirthlessly, at the irony of how it was now you doing the chasing and not him. His hair flutters and settles beautifully as he turns abruptly, and you almost, almost, forget you're supposed to be angry at him when you see the innocent widening of his eyes and slight opening of his mouth as he turns to your calling of his name. You catch up with him, taking a minute to catch your breath, and cursing yourself as you still have trouble comfortably speaking. "I just," you wheeze, "I just wanted to tell you...not to listen to Haechan...he's angry for me," For all that tree climbing you did as a child, it was crazy how you wouldn't be at least somewhat more fit than you were now. "He's right," he replies, and you raise an eyebrow, still trying to catch your breath. "I have a plan - Haechan said I needed to fix things, and I will." Before you can even get out a 'How?', he cuts you off. "Just trust me." He doesn't give you any more information than that, and goes back to borderline running through the hallways, leaving you alone, having caught your breath too late to call after him. -- You're greeted at breakfast the next morning by an empty seat across from you and questions from your parents that you can only make just about believable answers to. A quick search and some asking around leads you to find that Jeno is gone, having only left a note for Jaemin and Renjun notifying them of his departure - meaning if you wanted to know where he'd gone and what he'd gone to do (though you already had a pretty solid idea), you'd have to talk to the two people you most definitely had more of a dislike for than anything else. It's Jaemin who notices you first, unsure of what to do or whether to go as it becomes clear that you're actually approaching the two of them, and not just taking a walk around the palace courtyard. "Y/N," he smiles, and you can tell he's just trying to be polite by the way the smile doesn't reach his eyes and his smile looks more and more like a grimace the longer he holds it. "Is there anything we can help you with?" A corner of your lips quirks a little as Jaemin nudges Renjun to turn around. "Did Jeno tell either of you where he went? I can't find him," Its Renjun who tells you that all Jeno left for them was a note with five words: I'm going to fix it. And with that, your suspicions are confirmed; Jeno had most likely gone back to the Mainland, to 'fix' the problems that plagued it there. However now, and only now, was when you felt angry at Haechan for his outburst a day earlier - because now Jeno was gone, and you still had questions that only he could answer, whether you liked what you would've heard or not. "Um...while you're here," says Renjun, breaking you out of your reverie, "I-" a sharper nudge from Jaemin, one that actually looks painful, causes him to correct himself. "We, wanted to apologise. For the ball. As Jeno's friends, we should've stopped him as soon as it started." You disliked Renjun and Jaemin for their role in the whole Jeno being a cheater debacle, but truth-be-told, you weren't all that angry at them, because they had no real loyalty to you. Jeno was supposed to be your best friend. By principle, he would've been the last person you'd expect to ever betray you. And yet, he did. So you weren't angry at Jaemin and Renjun for siding with their own friend. You felt hurt, by Jeno. "It wasn't your fault." You mutter to the pair of them, before turning to leave. -- It was sickening. Sickening, Jeno thought, how easily he'd let himself be fooled for so long, by someone he trusted so much. As he mounted the steps two at a time into the palace, he wonders if that's how you had felt, when everything had fallen apart just over a week prior. He still felt a pang in his chest every time he pictured the look on your face from that day; hurt, betrayed, disbelieving. As he entered and saw the Empire's flags strewn all over the previously pristine castle interior, he wondered just when he'd lost himself this much. Haechan was right - what kind of king was he? He'd barely any idea of where his parents had gone after that night; if Seoyoung had taken them again, if they were safe; he hadn't even bothered to find a way to check up on his kingdom, which was already beginning to lose its shine and lustre at the occupation draining the life out of its veins. He felt like a waste of a king - no, he was one. But at the very least, the least he could do as a king in its own right was save his kingdom from the invaders that plagued it - he had a plan, and it was going to work. It had to; he had no other choice. Seeing the door of the throne room again brought back memories Jeno didn't really want to think about; it simply reminded him of his own horrible, horrible mistake - but he steeled his resolve and pushed open the door. It's entirely too laughable how Seoyoung is sat in the same place she was when he left - perched on the queen's throne, red hair tied back, and eyes that looked dull and soulless. Was that what he'd allowed himself to fall for? "Jeno!" She croons, beckoning her guards to bring him closer. "I missed you," Her patronising manner of speech, like a mother to its child, felt like nails scratching down a chalkboard to his ears. But he pushed through it, put on the best smile he could muster, and began to execute the first step of his plan. "Really?" He asks, eyes coy. "I thought you would've wanted me gone." He's directly in front of her now, can see in detail just how much the old Seoyoung, the one he used to know, was gone. But was she ever really there? That was a question Jeno had been asking himself since he'd arrived at this place. "Oh Jen," she purrs, and its a struggle not to narrow his eyes at the old nickname, "I wanted everyone else gone," She rises off of the throne to meet him face to face, slinking around him to put her hands on his shoulders, lips brushing his ear as she speaks. "But you and I, you with your crown and I with my power," It's somewhat frightening how absorbed she sounds, "Jen, we could rule the world! You and me," How stupid did she think he was? It was all too clear to Jeno what she was doing; the nickname to soften his resolve, the enthusiasm in her words, the closeness to try and distract him from what she was really saying - that she wanted him to give up his throne to let her rule the world, not them together - but just her. So he agreed. "We can rule the world," he breathes, realisation tinging the edges of his voice. "Together," he half asks, half states. "Yes," she sighs, "Together." -- There are a lot of things Jeno comes to find out, the longer he stays with Seoyoung. One; He was right - ever since he'd agreed to joining Seoyoung's side, she'd taken the lead in everything, and had gotten strangely irritated whenever Jeno tried giving his input (not that he did often, of course). Two; His parents, thankfully, were still safe. From keeping his ear to the ground and bits and pieces of information he'd managed to scrape from the servants of the palace, he'd found out that they were in hiding, and that Seoyoung already had guards looking for them. "To bring them home and keep them safe," she said when he'd asked. But he knew what she really wanted to do with them. Three: You were right - when you said she'd never be accepted as Queen. Jeno soon learns that the only guards who truly respect her are the ones left from the crew she stormed the palace with - and that the original palace guards were still loyal to him. --. They're in the throne room when it all comes together; the planning and secret preparation he'd been working towards for the past 3 weeks. This time he would put Seoyoung away, once and for all - especially now that he'd learned that his parents had been found and that they were locked in the dungeons, courtesy of Seoyoung, of course. "Promise me you'll stay with me forever," she whispers, and Jeno's stomach turns as her lips graze his. "I promise," he says, opening his eyes to find Seoyoung's still shut. It's in this moment where his chance arrives - he clicks his fingers 3 times, and lets out a low whistle; the code he'd devised with the guards a few days prior to summon them. As the guards file in, coming closer and closer towards the two, Jeno's hands rise from her clasp to cup her face - which, from this angle, Jeno thinks, almost looks innocent. He offhandedly wonders what may have happened to make Seoyoung such a contrast to her features. "Jeno." She mumbles, eyes still shut, forehead still leaning against his, a hand rising up to cup his. "What are the guards doing here?" He hums, voice low. "Just trust me," A sliver of a smirk graces his features as he continues, "I have a surprise." He takes her hands and lowers them, still holding them - trying to make it as easy as possible for the guards to slam the restraints on as fast as they can. Slowly, delicately, he steps away from Seoyoung; a tilt of his head signalling one guard to come forward and do the act - and, like a cliché flash, it happens. He lets go, the shackles come down, and Seoyoung's eyes finally snap wide open; the same flash from that night occurs again in her gaze, but it does nothing. The shackles were made of iron - specifically to block her from using any of her tricks to get away. At her inability to inflict harm the way she desired, Seoyoung's expression crumples into a horrid mix of anger and shock. "Jeno," she calls, tone shaky, uncertain. "What are you doing?" He says nothing - simply allows himself to giggle loud enough for her to hear as the guards drag her down to the dungeons. As she should be. As she should've been all those months ago. -- "I'll give you whatever - money, power, control - freedom from your parents I know you hate so much - all you have to do is join me, Jeno." She'd been down here for over a week, allowed no contact with anyone while he tried to restore order in the kingdom above. It seemed, from the borderline feral look in her eyes and the fatigue that plagued her very being, that being in the dungeons was taking its toll. No, it didn't seem so; the longer she spoke, Jeno knew it was so. "What happened to ruling the world, together?" She pleads. Trying to appeal to him using his own words, he notes. He says nothing, simply keeps eye contact with her and lets her continue. A guard barks at her to keep quiet - she glares at them, grunting as the shackles on her wrists prevent her from doing what she so desires, and returns her gaze to Jeno. "Jen, stop being stupid and tell them to let me out, please." Again with the nickname, he thinks. Before, long ago, when he'd first met her, his heart would've fluttered, cheeks would've reddened at her use of the name. Now, though, all it did was send an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. "Jen? Jeno, tell them to let me out." She's less desperate and more irritated now, his silence, his blank, uncaring, stare making her ever angrier. He wonders, as he's done so many times he's had to be around her, as she nags and scolds and patronises, just who Seoyoung even was. If he ever knew her. He wonders, for the second time, if this was how you felt. She's gone back to being desperate now, but with some emotional guilt-tripping to really try and pull at his heartstrings. "If you love me, Jeno - if you ever loved me - you'd let me out. Please," He's silent. "If you love me, you'll do the right thing! Jen, please!" If he loved her. He inwardly scoffs at the thought. What he had for Seoyoung, he realised, wasn't love. No - maybe it was love, at one point. But now, now he realised that it had turned into infatuation. And after her big reveal, that infatuation had quickly left, leaving nothing but disgust in its wake. "You don't get to call me that name. Not anymore," He says, brows furrowed, lips curled into a sneer, as Seoyoung grips the bars of the cell, tears rimming her eyes. "I never loved you, Seoyoung. And I am doing the right thing," he spat, leaving her to rot in her cell, her calls and shouts sounding like static the further away he got. -- With Seoyoung out of action, Jeno uses her as ransom to get the Empire troops to leave - and they do this time. Once they're gone, he stays in the mainland for a while, working on re-establishing the monarchy. For once, he thinks, maybe the title of king truly belonged to him. His parents, since being freed, had done nothing but pull Jeno into a tight embrace, and had then kept mostly to themselves. The embrace was probably the most amount of affection Jeno had ever received, but it was a start. At last, he felt, things were beginning to change. -- You were anxious. More than anxious, you were worried. You'd heard a little here and there of the events that had happened, of Jeno supposedly joining forces with Seoyoung to betray her in the end, and safe to say, your own feelings about him were now a mess of emotions. On the one hand, a part of you was still angry at him for leaving, for putting you through all this, for practically breaking your heart - on the other hand, you had to respect his diligence; he said he was going to fix things, and he did. He also showed that he was done with Seoyoung; he'd had the girl imprisoned, for goodness sake. But still... were you really ready to forgive him? It's these thoughts that have you deep in the trenches of your mind before the doors to the throne room, where you're so nervously pacing, open and shut. You look up, suspicious of who it may be; maybe a handmaid, maybe Jaemin or Renjun wanting to have a chat, maybe- "I fixed it," he breathes. It's him. You're speechless, lost for words, can barely function as Jeno's arms engulf you, as vanilla and nutmeg overpower your senses, as his grip on you becomes just a little tighter, like he couldn't ever bear to let you go. You pull away, putting some distance between you. You missed him, *yes*, but there were things you needed to discuss. You almost rush back into his arms at the flash of hurt that graces his features, but steel yourself. There were things you needed to say, this you knew - so why was it so hard for you to speak? There's a weird silence between you both; Jeno clearing his throat, you fiddling with your dress - you're almost there, have almost found the right words to say, but as usual, Jeno seems to beat you to it. "I wanted to give you a proper apology," he starts. His hands are shaking, and he balls them into fists. "There's no excuse for what I did, at all. And-" he stutters, "And if you've decided you don't want to be with me anymore, then I understand. I'll tell our parents everything. You deserve a lot better than me, Y/N." Your heart finally feels somewhat at peace. All the turmoil, all the heartbreak; It was only an apology, but you felt like you could start to build something with Jeno again. "I do deserve better," you acknowledge, and Jeno swears his heart chips a little at the thought that he really had lost you forever. "But I don't want better." You breathe slow. "I want to give us another try." Jeno grins so wide his cheeks ache, then takes a step towards you. "Also," you continue, "I need to apologise. I shouldn't have doubted you, that time with your parents. I went too far, and I shouldn't have." Jeno shakes his head vigorously, "No, no! I deserved everything I got. If anything, I'm happy you're even willing to have me," He takes your hands in his, leans his forehead against yours, and feels the tension in his shoulders that had been there for who knows how long, finally release. "Could I- Would I be able to-" He sighs in annoyance at himself, and you feel a genuine smile begin to form for the first time in what seems like a long time. "Can I kiss you?" He asks, hesitant to overstep a boundary. You close your eyes, look into his, and see no secrets there. "Yes," you whisper. Jeno kisses with emotion - like you're a fragile thing he simply mustn't break, but also like he'll never see you again. Jeno puts everything he couldn't put into words into this kiss, as though its your own secret language - a language you had no difficulty understanding. As he cups your cheeks, leans back a little, and simply looks, deeply, into your eyes, you catch the second of his unspoken messages. I love you, his eyes say. I love you, say yours.

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