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moonstruckme · 10 months ago

Note

happy new year lovie!!!! i feel bad for requesting this bc just thinking ab the volume of ur inbox is a little overwhelming and ive gone a bit overboard 😭

but..... bodyguard!james finds out his mum is quite sick right before his shift one day and leaves to take care of her after letting reader know. he has to take the week off and reader is visiting and bringing them their favorite homecooked meals everyday (which she has memorised bc, bless him, james loves to talk abt his mum) and james is LOVEEESTRUCK. she's there, bright and early every morning (with a different bodyguard bc god forbid she leaves the house with no protection right in front of james' own two eyes!!!) with muffins and flowers and bags of food in hand :( james is enamored and so sweet on her!!!!! and reader is obsessing over how vulnerable and emotionally in tune james is at a time like this!!!!! i'm thinking maybe confessions are getting pretty hard to hold back by the end of the week ☹️🩷

thank you! (if you do decide to write this or if you dont for letting me ramble on in your asks x)

Don't feel bad my love! Thank you for requesting :)

cw: sick family member

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

No matter how many times James has visited home throughout his adult life, he always manages to discover something he’s forgotten about living there. Like how particular his mum is about the way the dish towel is folded, or which drawer the scissors are kept in, or the ungodly amount of door-to-door salesmen that come by on a daily basis.

Lately, he’s being plagued by the last. He recalls them being vaguely annoying when he was younger, but James’ family is currently going through a difficult time that leaves one with somewhat frayed nerves. He very nearly snapped at a particularly tenacious primary school student selling chocolate yesterday. Not one of his finer moments.

So when the doorbell rings while his mum is trying to sleep down the hall, James has to make an effort to reel his wrath back in before he’s even answered it.

Funnily enough, any negative emotion completely evaporates when he sees you on the front steps.

“Hi,” you say, looking apprehensive.

“Hi,” James echoes. He opens the door the rest of the way, nodding to the fill-in guard you’ve brought with you. “Hey, Singh.”

Singh nods in return.

“I hope it’s alright that I just came by.” You give him a sheepish sort of smile. “I didn’t even realize I don’t have your phone number until now. You’re always just…there.”

James laughs, the mood that’s descended over him since getting the call about his mum lifting slightly. “Yeah, I suppose I am. What brings you out, sweetheart?”

You hoist the bags you’re carrying a bit higher in your arms. “I brought some stuff for you and your mom, if that’s okay.”

A tiny hand fists around his heart, squeezing pleasantly. “Course it is,” he all but coos. “Come on in. Singh, you alright to stay here and keep watch?”

Luckily, the other man doesn’t think to remember that James is currently on leave, and so defers to him with a curt nod. James shoots him a smile as you come inside, closing the door behind you.

“They put Singh on day shift?” he asks, taking one of the bags from you and leading you into the kitchen. “He’s barely finished training.”

“He seems fine,” you say in your good-natured way.

“He took you to a location that’s never been reconned without even bringing another guard to post outside.”

“It’s your mom’s house, Jamie.” The smile is evident in your voice, sweeter even than the smell wafting out of these bags. God, he’s missed you. “I doubt he suspects either of you are going to try and hurt me.”

“He should be prepared for the possibility,” James says, but he can’t manage to work any menace into his tone even to tease you. You tilt your head at him, mouth curving up to one side like you’re well acquainted with his particular brand of silliness, and he lets his grievances go instantly. “You didn’t have to bring us anything, angel face.”

You flush a bit at the endearment, directing a soft smile down at his family’s old wooden table (which is great, because now James is in the position of being jealous of a table). “I wanted to do something,” you reply simply. “How’s your mom?”

“She’s alright.” Not great. Not worse, which is always good. If the only thing he accomplishes in a day is that she doesn’t get worse, James can feel good about that. “She’s sleeping in this morning.”

“Oh, shit.” Your voice drops to a hush like the breeze blowing through leaves. “I haven’t woken her, have I?”

James grins. “No, you’re good. She can sleep through anything.”

You lose a breath. “Right, well I brought some meals to last you a few days,” you say, digging some containers out of the bag. “It can all be heated up whenever you’re ready to eat, and—oh, also some flowers. I know it’s stupid, but I thought they might brighten things up for you two.” James doesn’t think it’s stupid at all, but you go on before he can tell you so. “Can I put these in your freezer? I brought some muffins for this morning too, if you want them.”

“Yeah,” James says, the word leaving him on a breath. “I mean, yeah to both. Thank you.” He grabs several of the containers as well, showing you to the freezer. You both start cramming them in between things, wherever they’ll fit. He takes note of the food as it goes in, a heady warmth growing in his chest. “Did you make all of this?”

You hum in brisk affirmation. “I had plenty of time on my hands yesterday. Turns out things are pretty boring without you around.”

“How’d you know what to make? This is all—these are our favorites.”

You turn to him, a tenderhearted sort of smile curving your lips. “You talk about your mom a lot, Jamie,” you say. “I know all her favorites by now. And the things she’d make that were your favorites, too.”

James hadn’t realized he’d spent so much time rambling about his mum. It hurts his chest a bit to think of it now, worse to think that you’d been listening so intently.

“This is only really enough to get you through a few days,” you go on, oblivious to his yearning, “but I figured I’d come back with more if you’re both alright with it.” You look at him as you pack the last of the food away, your gaze careful. “I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“You could never intrude.” James isn’t sure how he gets the words out, his heart ballooning until it’s nearly cutting off his airflow. The cool air breezing onto one side of his face stops, and he realizes you’ve shut the freezer. “This is just…so, so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.”

“James.” Your voice is soft. Your smile has faded, and now you look at him with an unabashed, steady kindness. “You don’t have to say anything. I can’t stand the thought of you and your mom going through this. I wanted to help, somehow.” One of your shoulders comes up in a sheepish half-shrug. “Even if it’s really small.”

He wraps his arms around your shoulders, and you hesitate only a second before bringing your arms around him too. You squeeze him tight. James lets himself relish the feel of it, lovelorn. “It’s not small,” he says fervently. “It really…it means a lot, sweetheart.”

You only squeeze tighter in response. When he lets you go, your gaze is sad. Worried. You ask without prelude, “Are you doing okay?”

James gives you a half-smile. The truth of it. “Yeah, we’re alright over here. It’s hard to see her like this, but I think everything’s going to be okay.” You nod, solemn in your understanding. “Sounds like I might be doing better than you, actually, if your company’s bad enough that you’re entertaining yourself in the kitchen all day.”

You crack a smile at that, and James’ heart lightens. “Yeah, Singh’s no you. He doesn’t seem to like to chat.”

“Ahh, so that’s why you’ve really come out here, yeah? You just missed me.”

“You’ve caught me.”

It’s said like a joke, but James’ pride inflates foolishly nonetheless. “I hate that I can’t be there,” he says. “Especially now that I know they’ve put Singh on my shift.”

“He’s not so bad,” you laugh, heading towards the table. You fold up the bags. “Anyway, it’s more important that you’re here. And I’ll be back in a couple days to restock you.”

James fixes you with a look as you start for the door. “You really don’t have to.”

“I’m going to,” you say breezily. “Don’t forget to put the flowers in water, and the muffins are strawberry chocolate chip.” He grins. His mum’s favorite. “I’ll tell Singh you were raving about him.”

“Oh, please do.” He rolls his eyes, feeling lighter than he has in days. “Thanks, angel.”

You shoot him a smile worthy of the moniker as you go out the door. “See you in a couple days, Jamie.”

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gofishygo · 7 months ago

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just thinking abt ghoap x necromancer! reader.... gang ive got an idea let me cook LET ME COOOkkkkkKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

content: dark concept beware !! angsty at the start, 141 is a little mean to you, obsession, manipulation, (allusions to) kidnapping. (blurb, wc527)

there's a new guy who comes in to fill in after soap dies. it's awkward for him- not knowing why the team glares at him like the parasites on a sunfish, the cracks in their manor. ghost seems to hate you especially; you'd been told by some of the newer recruits that he was usually cold, unfeeling- but this wasn't unfeeling. this was him glancing at you at the shooting range than firing multiple shots at the target, him digging his knife into wooden target just that bit harder when he saw you spar.

and then you meet johnny.

it's not too long until you're having full conversations with the freshly dead ghost, gravelly scottish accent and slightly crooked smile leaving your heart warm and full and almost mushy. he tells you stories, ones that the team had always held back from you; what had happened when he'd took prices hat, why gaz hates choppers, and ghost.

it doesn't take more than a few wistful smiles to know who they were to each other, why he'd never looked at you the same.

but unlike the other ghosts of the base, glaring at living enemies with glassy eyes and rabid, foaming mouths holding curses in foreign tongue, he's ... still warm. almost living.

and when ghost finds out you're a necromancer, it starts out subtle . gruff 'have you seen a lad wif' a mohawk' and such being the only queries he'd bare to talk to you for. and you tell him everything- johnny mactavish and the star wound in his head, johnny mactavish and the shiny eyes and the white grin, johnny mactavish and the boyfriend he fawns over. queries turn into questions, and questions turn into long conversations where you're the translator of two worlds. and while ghost swears he'd only ever see you as a bridge between him and the love of his life (or death?), soap can't say the same.

being a ghost has it's perks. you're no longer confined to the bounds of mortality- solid form can switch to material nothingness, being noting in plain sight. and even as a necromancer, you can't feel how he cradles your face when you sleep, how he kisses those tears away when you retire to your barracks. he doesn't let you feel those because he doesn't want you to, not yet.

hasn't forgotten about ghost, either.

and it's okay- he'll get his love on board with you too. leaves images of you in his dreams; the way your nose crinkles when you banter, the quirk of your smile. darkening the corners of his dreams with sigils and spells, rituals of reanimation. it'll be slow, but still in it's worth. he'll find you eventually.

so when ghost's eyes turn as hungry and wanting as the dead you've met, and when you can now feel johnny's pulse, you know something's gone wrong. very wrong.

too bad that there's already a pair of skeleton-gloved hands pinning as another pair wraps chloroform-stained rap around your face before you can pry any further.

and too bad that you can hear the voices of the men you'd trusted trying to soothe your through it.

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angel-kyo · 9 months ago

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Pay it no mind

Part XIV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of reader being injured, and I guess everyone is ooc here, but thank you for bearing with me.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII

----------------------

A week. Seven full days of silence. When was the last time you had gone this long without any contact with Satoru?

No calls. No messages. Not even a glimpse of him. You had learned from Ijichi that he had been sent on a mission to a distant part of the country just a couple days ago. In other words, there was nowhere to see him.

Initially, it had been a relief. After he left on that fateful night, and you allowed your feelings out. It was only then that it hit you: you had never cried over his rejection. It had hurt, and you had grieved in some way, but maybe by immediately pretending it had never happened, you had prevented yourself from accepting heartbreak.

The truth was just too scary to accept, so you had told Satoru the same lies you had been telling yourself for the past months. ‘It was just a crush’, ‘It has passed’, ‘I’m over it’.

“Liar,” you muttered to your own reflection on the bathroom mirror. Dark bags were starting to form under the eyes that returned your gaze.

Your back was sore and your sleep had not been the best during the last few days.

At first, you had been upset with Satoru, and then upset with yourself for not being able to just dodge the hit and play it cool.

Satoru must have known how much of an unpleasant memory it was for you. Why did he have to bring up the rejection again?

He was not that dense, and neither were you. Your friendship had often felt as both of you stepping right on the line between friends and lovers. Sometimes one of you would lose balance and almost fall on either side of it. Even if both of you denied it, none of you had a similar relationship with anyone else. Still, you believed he had given you the definitive push the day he rejected you.

If he could not feel the same, you could respect that. In fact, you had vowed to just forget it. But why did he have to kiss you while being aware of the hold he had on you?

It’s probably nothing to him, that’s why.

You remembered what Shoko had told you once.

“He is a bit selfish when it comes to you,” Shoko said softly, putting her head on your shoulder.

It must have been summer with how hot it was, and you could see droplets of sweat forming on Shoko’s forehead. You and she were sitting on a bench, outside of a convenience store. She had sent Geto and Gojo for drinks inside.

Satoru had initially said that Shoko and Suguru should go, but Ieiri had refused, saying she was getting a heatstroke and needed to sit down, with you to keep her company. Gojo rolled his eyes but let Suguru pulled him into the store anyway.

“Are you really feeling unwell?”

She only smiled.

At the beginning of your friendship with Suguru and Shoko, Satoru had wanted for all of you to get along, but he was not particularly appreciative of you spending too much time with either of them without him. He had loosened up quickly, though, but Shoko and Suguru were an exception. If he could keep you by his side, he would.

He could not take it back. All he had said and done; all the ways he made it look like there was more to it when there was not.

He can’t take any of it back, and neither can I. Paying it no mind is not going to solve it either.

You looked at your phone. You had sent Satoru a message earlier, just to make sure he was okay. Not that you should worry; he was strong, and if the world had not yet collapsed under curses, he was probably still alive. However, it was not like him to stay away from you this long with nothing but radio silence in between.

I guess I did kick him out, so I can’t blame him.

You washed your face and went to bed, not bothering to take your phone back to the bedroom. You needed to sleep, and the only person you cared to chat with at the moment had not even read your message.

***

“Okay, this one is it. Just try it out.” Satoru patted the mattress of the queen size bed he had found at the department store you were currently at.

You sat down. “It’s… It’s okay,” you said.

To Satoru, you did not sound impressed at all. “Just okay?”

You nodded. “Comfortable.”

“Is that how you try out a mattress? Do you sleep sitting up, [name]?” he asked smiling as he laid down on the sample bed.

You looked around. None of the other clients were really looking at you, too focused on their own shopping to care, but still…

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” You directed your eyes back to Satoru.

“It’s not, and it’s the only right way to do it,” Satoru said smiling and patting the mattress again so you would lay down too, which you finally did.

“And?” he asked.

The ceiling lights of the store were a little too bright, but if you focused only on how the mattress felt, it was indeed comfortable.

You had just signed the lease for your first apartment and getting some furniture was the next thing on your to-do list to become an independent person. Among the basics, having something to sleep on would be nice. That is how Satoru had accompanied you shopping for your first mattress.

“It’s more than okay,” you admitted.

“You should get it then.”

“How much is it, though?” Your eyes widened a bit after looking at the price, and you got up from the spot immediately. "Forget it. It's one zero too much."

I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged for just trying it.

Satoru, on the other hand, could not have looked more unbothered even if he tried. This was why going shopping with him and a budget in mind was useless.

“If this is the one you like, I would not mind…”

You shook your head. “No way. I have a budget, I just need to stick to it,” you reassured him. “Besides, this one would not even fit in my bedroom.”

Of course, he would not mind lending you money. He might not even ever ask you to pay back, but this was your quest for independence. You would rather not to lean on his resources. It was the same reason you had declined Yaga’s offer to crash at the school dorms, even though now that you were starting your teaching career there, it might have been convenient. It was going to be nice to have your own space, plus, now that all your former classmates had left, the dorms were too empty and too full of memories at the same time.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A store clerk had spotted you and landed next to you. The woman was quick to compliment the model ‘you two’ had chosen.

Satoru had sat up and was now looking at her. When she looked at him more closely, her words halted, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks.

Right, that’s the effect he has on people.

You mentally thanked Satoru for being so good-looking that people would become speechless on his presence and allow you to speak instead.

“Actually,” you started, “this is not quite what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, well…” She seemed to have recovered from the momentary shock of first meeting Satoru’s face, “We have some other options that are preferred by couples. I will be glad to show you…”

You and Satoru shared a small smile. Another one, huh?

“We are not…” he said.

“We are friends,” you stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Her smile looked sincere, “Then is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Are there any… smaller options?” you asked hopeful. Maybe she had some cheaper ones too.

She nodded politely and asked you to follow her to another area of the store.

“Smaller?” Satoru had stood up to follow you. “How will we both sleep in it?” He was smirking.

You elbowed him, and he was kind enough to pretend it had hurt.

“Don’t say anything else that will confuse the lady,” you hissed and he chuckled.

That day, Satoru pretty much ended up picking your bed. It was not as big as he had wanted it, but it was comfortable enough and, to your delight, within budget. The only downside to Satoru was that it would require a bit of effort for both of you to fit in.

***

“Fancy seeing you here.” Satoru sat across from Shoko at her table in the school cafeteria.

She had decided to take a break from reviewing files at the infirmary and usually, she would not go to the cafeteria, but you had pulled her there so many times that her feet had carried her there almost automatically.

She looked at Gojo’s face. “You are back.”

“Got back last night.” He took out his phone and Shoko saw him check something on the screen and put it down on the table. Was it her imagination or he seemed tired? Tough to say without seeing his eyes, but he did have a duller aura around him right now.

Shoko raised her cup of tea to her lips and eyed Satoru’s phone.

“New phone?” she asked.

Satoru had leaned back on his chair and a adopted a more carefree expression. Even if he was a grown man, Shoko would have said he looked just the same as when they were highschoolers.

“Yeah…” It was impossible to tell, but Ieiri also thought his eyes were looking around the cafeteria, and she had a hunch on what he was searching for, or rather, who. “The other one broke down. It’s the same number, though.”

His phone had broken down three days ago, it slipped and the screen turned pitch black. It had not shut down immediately, though, and it still rang when Ijichi called him, but if he could not see the screen, it was no use keeping it.

Satoru had not really cared at first, only getting a cheap phone to communicate through the end of his mission. Ijichi had gotten a more suitable replacement ready for him when he got back, and it was only after setting it up and retrieving his backup data, that Satoru realized you had actually messaged him days ago.

Unlucky.

He had not replied yet, figuring he would see you at the school anyway and could maybe set things straight between you two. However, he had not encountered you across campus, and when he peeked at your class, your students were being looked after by a first-grade sorcerer he had seen around a few times, filling in the substitute teacher position.

He wanted to ask Shoko. “Say, Sho-”

“[name] took a couple days off,” she interrupted him while placing her cup back on the table and encircling it with both hands.

Can she read minds?

Shoko could not, but knowing Gojo, it was taking him long enough to ask about you.

"Oh."

She looked at him. “They...”

Shoko wanted to tell Satoru you had paid her a visit after one of your missions that week, but she was not sure you would have wanted Gojo to know.

Ieiri had been surprised at first when she saw you that day. A lot of blood always made it difficult to perceive at first glance how big a wound really was. After a closer inspection, she realized the injuries on your torso were not too concerning, not for someone with her abilities at least.

But if they were a regular person and I was a regular doctor, they would have probably been bed-ridden for a while, she thought.

She had had you in walking condition after a couple days, but it still bothered her. Getting injured during missions was the norm for sorcerers, especially younger ones, however, she knew you were experienced in battle. A scratch here and there was expected, but she had seen you returning more beaten up lately.

They are taking on more difficult missions, that was what she wanted to tell Gojo. She was not sure whether you were trying to get promoted or if for some reason they were actively assigning you missions above your rank.

The cup Shoko was holding was warming her hands.

A thought assaulted her mind: There is no predicting the higher-ups.

If you had upset one and now had a target on your back, Satoru could help you out, could he not?

“What is it?” Gojo tilted his head looking straight at Ieiri, or at least she felt this time he was looking at her.

“Nothing. I think they will be back tomorrow.”

Satoru had thought about visiting you, but seeing how that turned out last time, he decided to wait.

Giving you space was the right call in his experience. Usually, no matter what the problem was, you could talk it through when you both had had some time to mull it over.

But, in this case, how much time did you need?

The whole situation was like nothing you and him had faced before. Fighting over snacks or over a joke that went a step too far was one thing. The look you had given him that night and the way you called him selfish, that was completely different, and it had haunted him since he left your apartment.

Satoru grabbed his phone and finally replied to your message. He hit 'send' and offered an attempt of a smile to Shoko.

“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

----------------------

Note: I almost forgot my iconic note (even though I'm the only one who thinks it's iconic). And the note is... there is no note, just my love. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh

#gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk fanfic #gojo x you #jjk gojo #gojo x y/n #gojo fanfic #satoru gojō x reader #satoru x reader #pay it no mind #jujutsu kaisen

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lotties-ashwagandha · 2 years ago

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Can you maybe write Lisa Rowe x female reader who’s new to the ward? The reader is bullied by everyone because she has a hard time socializing and Lisa defends and protects her?

YOU COULD LET IT ALL GO, IT’S CALLED: FREEFALL

pairing: lisa rowe x fem!reader

word count: 608

notes and warnings: so ive never actually been to a ward lol so don’t come for me. TW//death threats? title from “freefall” by rainbow kitten surprise

Your cigarettes had gone missing.

You were hardly surprised. You had been in the ward for almost a week, but every morning you woke up to one of your possessions stolen. The girl you were sharing a room with had an uncanny obsession with stealing your things while you were asleep. She usually hid them under her bed, but you had discovered her stash last night, and as you had suspected, she’d changed her hiding place since then.

You stalked out into the main living area, and every girl was staring at you — even The Wizard of Oz playing on the TV had been abandoned, and it was a favorite in this part of the ward.

“Where is she?” You asked quietly, asking for your roommate. Your palms were sweating, and under the pressure of all of their glares you felt like fainting. “I’ll call Valerie.”

“Ooh,” one of the girls teased, feigning fear. “Everybody fucking take cover.”

A door slammed from back in the hall, and you looked back to see Lisa Rowe approaching, her eyes almost glowing in unhinged fury.

The energy in the room shifted, everyone silently submitting to the woman standing beside you.

“Where did she go?” Lisa asked for you, her voice cold.

It only took a few seconds for one of the girls to squeak that your roommate was in Daisy’s room.

Lisa sighed, shaking her head as she stomped to Daisy’s room. She began banging on the door, screaming that if Daisy didn’t let her in she would break the door down, that she would tell Valerie about her new collection of chicken remains under the bed.

After a few minutes, Daisy’s door opened, and Lisa slammed into the room. “Where the fuck is it?”

It was then that you realized she had no idea what she was looking for.

Against your better judgment, you joined Lisa in Daisy’s room, and the first thing you saw was your roommate smoking one of your cigarettes.

“Take whatever it is,” Lisa told you, eyeing your roommate, and you knew you wouldn’t have any resistance.

Gingerly, you took back the pack of cigarettes on Daisy’s bed.

Unexpectedly, your roommate lunged towards you — Lisa slammed her back against the wall.

“If you ever touch her,” Lisa said quietly, pinning the girl, “I’ll fucking kill you.”

The girl nodded after a moment, and Lisa backed away, leading you out of Daisy’s bedroom.

“Thank you,” you said when the two of you were alone in the hall.

Lisa only nodded, briefly meeting your eyes before staring vacantly down the hall.

“I don’t really want to go back to my room,” you admitted, stopping in front of your door.

“Come to mine.”

“Really?”

She hummed, nodding. “We can share one of those cigarettes you hold in such high esteem.”

You bit back a smile. “Sure.”

Lisa’s room was at the end of the hall. You were pleasantly surprised at this, relieved that you were so far away from the rest of the girls, particularly Daisy and your roommate.

The two of you sat down together on Lisa’s bed. The mattress was flimsy and the pillows were hard, but somehow being with her took away all of the discomfort, and you felt as if you were staying at the finest hotel in the world.

“Why have you been so kind to me?” You asked after a few minutes of passing a cigarette back and forth. “We’ve only known each other for a few days.”

She shrugged, and after a moment she chuckled. “I like you, I suppose.”

“I like you, too.”

She scoffed, smirking. “Give it a few weeks.”

taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, let me know!): @cartoonpeoples @thedeconstructionist @cordeliass @paulsonsratched @traumatisedfangirl @mayfair-fleur @goodeday2u

#girl interrupted #lisa rowe x reader #lisa rowe #angelina jolie x reader #angelina jolie #lgbtq #lgbtqia #wlw

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verdantlights · 22 days ago

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Modern AU Headcanons

For all 7 of my ocs!! :3

all of their ethnicities/nationalities are canon to the ALNST universe too, but theyre just more applicable in a modern au.

The artwork I did for each of them isnt fully colored like how i originally planned, simply because this took FUCKING FOREVER. (17 hours??? all 7 ocs just to this basic color with 17 hours and 25k strokes??? according to procreate???) and i was so ready to be done with it, ive been talking about this for like ages and i knew that if i didnt finish this before Blink Gone dropped,,,, itd never get finished.

i also have other stuff i need/want to work on in regards to my ocs SO. if the art looks half-assed, im calling it a design choice 🎀

Toki (Redone):

He'd be a dancer that runs a choreography channel on youtube and tiktok. A really popular/famous content creator.

He's Asian! (South Korean)

Fluent in English/Korean.

Would probably face a lot of controversy for making strange jokes about cannibalism, but he never stays down when cancelled. (hes so schlatt core)

He's not a horrible person in a modern au. He's relatively normal, if not for the fact that he is still an orphan and still clinically mentally ill. He's just not toxic. He still has his cunt and freak but... he just doesn't manipulate, mansplain, and manslaughter anymore.

He's only toxic and awful as hell in ALNST because of the dystopian circumstances. His toxicity is seasoning to the tragedy that is ALNST.

He is still an orphan and his first memories would be in the orphanage where he was pretty much alone. People thought he was strange.

I'd like to believe he was selectively mute for quite a long time, which was another reason why people called him strange.

Still has the habit of studying peoples behaviors and learning them entirely for his own benefit. He wouldn't use it against someone unless absolutely necessary in a modern au.

He gets adopted when he's 13 by a kind, older man. He homeschools Toki and puts him in sports and recreational activities of his choice.

Toki chooses gymnastics and dance, contorting and moving his body at his will gives him a sense of control that he always felt he was never privileged to.

He didn't start talking until he was 16. His first words were, "Thank you, dad."

As an adult, as I said above, Toki runs a choreo channel on tiktok and youtube that gets a lot of traction. He enjoys having fans because it makes him feel less alone.

He's still possessive over Inna, but it's only because Toki struggles with feeling a sense of belonging and a home to come back to, and Inna becomes that home for him.

He has a streetwear aesthetic!

Of course, Toki still has his obsessive and possessive personality, that will never go away. It ends up rearing his head towards Inna, but I'm pretty sure Inna likes it anyway, the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴.

Didn't go to college because his socmed took off before he graduated, sustaining him really well financially.

Friends with Ichor! Travels to Korea with him sometimes, but usually prefers to stay in America since that's where he was taken to when he was adopted.

Innamorati belongs to @alien-til-i-stage <3

Clove:

He is Latino! (Dominican/Caribbean)

His right eye is a lazy eye and he wears glasses. They're silver round frames that he sometimes puts a neck chain on.

His hair is dyed the same, but the dark brown is really short and cut to be fluffy/messy while keeping his long sides/short bangs!

He has a dark academia aesthetic mixed with a little bit of cottagecore. He's a lot more comfortable in his skin in regards to his gender so he wears skirts and dresses sometimes.

Spends his time at the library a lot, enjoys library dates with Aster (and also coffee shop dates).

He is fluent in Spanish and English.

He only has his ear lobes pierced and keeps small silver studs in them at all times.

Still trans, of course! He gets top surgery and a hysterectomy in a modern au (projecting what I personally want lmao)

All of his siblings are alive, and are still all named after flowers!

His upbringing was really peaceful, if not for having a very alive and loud household with 6 kids, him included.

His parents and siblings are all incredibly accepting and they all helped pitch in to get his top surgery done for his birthday one year <3

He inherited his parents flower shop and runs it now! His parents own the parent company to the flower shop, so all 6 children own one of said shops around the state!

He majored in Biology in college.

A lot of the neglect and trauma he faced in ALNST/ANAKT was only specific to the universe. He would lead a relatively normal and peaceful life, otherwise :)

Aster belongs to @apriciticreveries <3

Horizon:

He is American!

Horizon is incredibly smart and is an astrophysicist! He took it in college and has been hyperfixated on space since he was a kid.

Is the most visibly/recognizably autistic OC out of all of my OCs. All of my OCs are neurodivergent in some way because of my own neurodivergency, but Horizon takes the cake because his modern au mother (based on Scorpius) is also autistic. She raised him to not be forced into a mask.

Scorpius is a single mom and loves space as well, teaching Horizon all about it when he was a kid. Over time she grew more distant and would only connect with her son when its about his interest in space, or in regards to what happens at NASA.

Horizon is aware of his mothers distance and neglect and wishes things could go back to when he was a kid and she wasn't so distant.

He is still a narcolept, but is medicated and in physical therapy to help combat it.

He works at NASA! He makes good money and has discovered a lot of new stars!

He's more vocal in a modern au! He'd still go nonverbal a lot, but he'd also open up more and be less distant.

He still yaps about stars and space as much as possible.

He does not have stars in his eyes. I kinda feel like that goes without saying, but he does have dark grey-blue eyes.

Fond of Seraph and likes to study it. Fully aware something is wrong with it and that it definitely does not belong in his world, but finds it intriguing all the same.

Does not have a set dress style, he mostly dresses for comfort. He does have a lot of NASA merchandise and space/galaxy themed clothing, though. (would 100% have that blue and pink galaxy wolf hoodie at one point)

Seraph:

Still not human, and I will not elaborate as to why!

Also still uses He/Hy/It (Hy/Hymn).

It's a lot creepier in a modern au, actually. This is because the dystopian setting of ALNST makes it a bit more... usual and acceptable for Seraph to be uncanny? However, in a modern au... that's not the case.

People do NOT vibe with it more often than not.

Hy is British.

He is still albino with void-like eyes.

It majors in psychology and went to the same college as Horizon. This is related to his special talent,,, but that isn't released yet. :)

Still horribly enamored with Horizon and follows him around and studies him.

Horizon doesn't mind hymn and honestly knows somethings not right with Seraph, but he doesn't really care and actually likes to study Seraph back. (and seraph couldnt be happier about it, tbh)

Not a lot changes about Seraph, in all honesty. Hy doesn't really belong in the ALNST universe, what makes you think hy'd belong in the modern universe?

The things that do change, like it's echoing voice and it's staticky/distorted laugh, are gone because it personally stopped using them.

It's style is... elegant goth with some... cyber goth? Kinda strange and hard to describe but he does understand the morals and values of goth culture and music and upholds those values.

Lowkey an anarchist but you didn't hear that from me.

He is Horizon's roommate.

Seraph likes to believe their mutual studying of each other is what a romantic relationship entails.

Horizon spoils Seraph a lot... he has to do something with the money he gets from NASA.

He still does not like animals or Ichor.

Ichor:

He is still a catboy. He's not even like... a kemonomimi. He's just a fucking catboy.

If not an actual catboy, he would be a therian and/or kemonomimi. (kemonomimi directly translates to animal ears i believe? kemonomimis are just people who enjoy wearing animal ears/tails.)

He is also Asian! (South Korean)

Has a lot of mixed aesthetics, but enjoys crossdressing (in a cute way) and ouji fashion/lolita.

Autistic with selective mutism and is nonverbal more often than not. He is fluent in both ASL and KSL as well as spoken English/Korean. This is canon to the ALNST universe, but he is fully mute in canon.

Would probably be a professional gymnast. I'm talking like Olympics... professional.

Takes the fame from being a professional gymnast and becomes a content creator to show off his impeccable fashion sense.

100% dating and smitten with Briar. I'm assuming Briar would be a doctor in a modern au (akane, you can correct me if I'm wrong), and if that's the case, then Ichor would make a bunch of "woe is me, I need a doctor" jokes to Briar.

He'd immediately go to Briar if he gets hurt during performances.

Would actually be friends with Toki!! Both as a content creator and as a gymnast. They would get along very well due to overlapping interests, even more so when Ichor learns that Toki was mute for a long time.

Sometimes takes up gigs/jobs as a Sign Translator for both KSL and ASL.

Recognized as a Fashion Idol in Korea.

Frequently travels back and forth between South Korea and America due to this. ^ (his boyfriend misses him...)

Also did not go to college! He went straight into professional gymnastics and makes a living off of it! If he could go back to school, though, he would want to study the arts!

All of his hair is naturally white! He was based off of a white Turkish Angora cat, and since his hair was dyed against his will in ALNST, that wouldn't be the case in the MAU. He's only pink in his art because that's his color <3

Briar belongs to @aakaneeee <3

Lys:

She is Creole and born and raised in Louisiana!

Fluent in both Cajun French and normal French. She was a French immersion kid! (as in she learned french as she learned english in school growing up)

An amazing cook and loves to cook for her family and friends.

Has a brother and a sister, but she is the oldest. She loves her family and is very protective over them, same with her friends.

A big party-goer and social butterfly, she is the life and light of the party. She stays humble about it, but she can't deny how nice it makes her feel that people like her so much.

Dominates karaoke like it's no ones business. She loves singing and was in the church choir growing up.

She grew up Catholic, but is currently Agnostic.

Still a lesbian, and is very open about it. She is a strong advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and goes to as many Pride Parades as possible during pride month.

LOVES HER GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! EVEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her favorite way to wear her hair is super long box braids with bright colored weave, usually orange or red, but she's done the whole rainbow before!

Majors in cosmetology!

Wants to be a fashion designer, and is also building a socmed presence!! Her childhood dream was to work at Hollywood as a SFX/Makeup artist! (She still kinda does, but is okay with working for any movie company, honestly)

Has a streetwear and Y2K aesthetic! She likes to explore a bunch of other fashion cultures, but normally ends up falling back to those two as a base/familiar ground.

Is really good friends with Clove! She knows him through Everest, who had befriended him in overlapping college courses. Clove approached Everest and became friends with him before she introduced Clove to Lys. They all like to hang out together :]

Everest:

She is Australiannnnn!!!!

Still albino!

She does have the sensitive skin and eyesight in the modern world, though. She is not genetically modified, therefore she has really powerful glasses and is covered a lot.

Wears a lot of loose flowy clothing and big sunhats to protect himself from the sun.

Also still intersex!

Still feels 60% femme and 40% masc with very little in between. Doesn't mind being referred to as androgyne, but prefers either or, rather than in between.

She is sapphic and horribly in love with her girlfriend, Lys.

Is a lot less morally grey in a modern au and is a lot more like Luna Lovegood, one of her inspirations.

His morality in ALNST comes from the dystopian setting, being used as a toy for the segyein after winning, and being a pet in general. Since that doesn't happen in the modern day, he doesn't have that trauma to influence him.

She takes second place on most visibly autistic. (Ichor takes third)

Majored in Chemistry and wants to be a chemist.

Has overlapping classes with Clove and is friends with him!

Comes from a pretty wealthy family and was raised prim and proper. Her parents believed she'd be better off presenting as a boy, but once she realized her autonomy, she refused it entirely and told her parents that she will live how she wants and that her body is hers to dictate.

Her parents don't like that she switches back and forth between masc and femme, but she could not give less of a fuck and honestly does it a little bit out of spite.

He still loves his parents... kinda. He has the mentality of "they gave me life and raised me, I should be grateful andlove them all the same." He just wishes they weren't so bitchy over his body and what he does with it. They can't say anything either considering he plans on being a chemist, and they're both very fond of the idea that their child is smart and will bring in more money.

They're also lowkey homophobic and only give Lys a pass because they see Everest as a boy more often than not. They still don't quite like Lys because she is a full lesbian/sapphic and sees Ever as femme.

Enjoys travelling a lot!!

Has a socmed presence through Lys and appears as a duo with her a lot. People love them together and give them a lot of the stereo contrasting ship types (fire/ice, blue/red, black/white, etc)

It not famous on her own! I don't think she would actively seek out a socmed presence of her own and would be content with being featured on Lys' socmed. He was only famous in ALNST for winning s36, he did not ask for that.

thats about it!! sorry its so long, but... i love my children... so...

anyways, taglist!! no pressure to respond <3 @rockwgooglyeyes @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @starry-skiez @junebluues @yunoftheclouds @waterydream @pwippy @ivanttakethis @nottoonedin

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anime-grimmy-art · 11 months ago

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It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel.

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

#art year in review #anime-grimmy #fanart #sketch #comic #animatic #undertale #trigun #legend of zelda #monster hunter #kingdom hearts #undead unluck #genshin impact

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midwesternwitchery · 5 months ago

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Hi I am obsessed with your Konig story I come back to re-read it all the time! Makes me kick my feet lol when do you think the next chapter will be? My cage bars need some gnawing

-🌮

Well Hello there. I know I suck Ive been gone such is life. Anywhooooo here's a thing. I hope you like it taco! I had almost given up on this fic as I have been kinda hard on myself lately just one of those impostor syndrome things so THANK YOU for your ask I love it when people interact in any way but literally this made my day! If you have any suggestions please feel free to send them my way anon or not!

Die Sonne - Part 5

a/n- Again I'm not totally happy with this and I swear smut is coming. MDNI

All of her belongings had been packed up carefully over the last few days. She groaned rolling over in bed, it was tempting to lay around in bed for another hour but she had things to do, places to be. Oh shit. She sat up in bed. It was today. THE day. She had been struggling a bit internally. The more time that passed from her meeting at the agency, the more she was doubting her decisions.

She couldn’t dwell on it now though as whats done is done. She had let her omega make the decision for her. One whiff of his intoxicating scent and her omega was practically preening. It would have been embarrassing but she couldn’t help it, honesty it didn’t seem like he minded though. Her thoughts drifted back to the way he seemed to zero in on her even through the blindfold. His instincts have to be off the charts considering his apex status.

She rolled out of bed heading straight for the kitchen for a cup of coffee first thing. Once she had that started she began picking out her outfit for the morning. She’d be meeting him for the first time without the blindfold. She wanted- no needed to look her best, she really wanted this to work. Settling on a light flowing skirt, a long sleeve scoop neck top, and her knee high boots she was ready. She didn’t want anyone with her on her way to his home. She was nervous enough she didn’t need to add another person into the mix. Her things had been sent over to his home yesterday, the rest went to storage until she decided what she was doing with them.

She pulled up the address on her phone, fingers shaking slightly, either from her anxiety or too much coffee. He lived near the downtown center. Her eyebrows raised a little when she realized he was in one of the larger high rise buildings. Grabbing her bag and coat she navigated her way to the subway. The ride wasn’t long, then she was back out on the street, another few minutes walk and she found herself standing at the entry to his building.

The doorman opened the door gesturing her inside. She clumsily thanked him as she stepped inside, making her way to the elevators. Glancing back down to her phone to check the floor number she pressed the button and whoosh she was off.

Ding.

Ding

The doors opened to a small entryway. There was another door ahead of her. She stepped forward trying to keep her breath steady, and knocked.

A few moments passed with no response. Anxiety clawed at her throat as she checked the address and floor number triple checking she was at the right door. She was. So she knocked again. Cringing the entire time.

The door opened and all she could see was skin. Wet skin. Slowly she looked up taking in the towel around his waist, the water running down his chest and abs. Craning her neck she looked up at his face realizing neither of them had said anything and she had been caught staring.

“Maus?” His voice rumbled through his chest.

She was still staring. She had to stop staring. She shut her eyes for a moment in a futile attempt to get her self under control, “Hello König. Did I interrupt you?” Glancing down at his chest again she blushed. He on the other hand seemed to have a mixed reaction to her. His chest puffed up a bit but quickly he deflated backing away from the door gesturing for her to enter. “A moment Maus.” He stuttered out, “I- Ich komme gleich wieder” Then his back was turned as he fled further into the apartment.

It seemed the big bad Apex Alpha was nervous too. That put her at ease a bit, at least they were evenly matched in that area. She stepped further into the apartment down a short hallway which led into the open floor plan that was the main living space. A large plush couch sat on one side a large TV across from it. The kitchen and dining sat off on the other side of the living area another hall way branching off to the side. Assuming she had interrupted his shower she decided to make her self comfortable on the couch until he came back out.

As she rounded the couch she noticed the entire space seemed off. Her brow furrowed as she sniffed the air, then after looking around a bit she sniffed the couch cushion. It smelled sterile almost, like everything was brand new and staged. A small huff left her. He didn’t have any belongings displayed that looked personal. Maybe this was a new place she reasoned, but the file she had on him stated this address as his primary for the last 3 years. Before she could think on it further he reappeared fully dressed this time. His hair was still

‘I can show you around if you like?’ He motioned behind him back down the hallway he’d come from. Mina nodded and rose from the couch approaching him. He turned flicking the hall light on and stepping to the side motioning for her to go first and explore. As passed him she hesitated feeling the heat radiating from him, his scent was so strong spicy and clean from the shower. A low rumble startled her out of her daze, eyes flying wide she looked up at him realizing quickly she all but had her face pressed up against him sniffing him.

His eyes were pure predator, sharp and focused on her. Mina sucked in a breath. Shit. That definitely didn’t help anything she thought as his scent enveloped her senses. She felt like she was on the edge of starting her heat, but that was a ways off still right? She couldn’t think straight enough to even begin to do the math right now.

His hand came up and circled her throat, not squeezing, just resting there. It felt … possessive but also protective like he was laying some claim on her. Regardless it cleared her mind a bit as he pressed her back into the wall behind her. His dark eyes devoured her as he bent his head down to hers. Pausing briefly he spoke, his voice thickly accented. ‘I’ve though of nothing but this since you left that room, but I do not want to scare you Maus….many fear me. I do not want that from you.’

Blinking up at him confused Mina was trying to make sense of his words. ‘But I’m not scared of you.’ He smiled at her softly. ‘Good girl.’ he murmured and lowered his head fully into the crook of her neck. She let out a soft gasp of air as his sharp nose pressed to her scent gland, sending shocks of shivers down her body. Her arms raised to grasp at his shoulders while his other arm snaked around her waist raising her up to his height. Instinctively her legs raised to wrap around his waist trying to hold her self up as he pressed into her further.

He groaned deep in his chest as his hips settled against hers. She buried her face into his neck inhaling his scent. His arms tightened around her, she should be panicking at that, but god it felt so good to be held by him. She should push him away, not that it would do much good against his much larger frame.

The truth was she should do a lot of things but for once she just didn’t want to. She liked the way his body felt against hers, the way he smelled, the way he looked at her like she was precious to him because she was Mina not because of her designation. She could almost envision a life with him, but that could just be the hormones.

She arched her back, pressing further into him. This seemed to snap him out of it a bit and he stiffened for a tense moment, then raised his head and began to lower her to the floor. She tightened her legs around his waist, resisting his attempt to release her. His eyes shot to hers, it felt like he was looking straight into her soul. Finally with a heavy breath he said, ‘I have a room prepared for you. They said you would want your own space.’

‘Oh. I see.’ she murmured quickly releasing her legs from his waist suddenly embarrassed at her actions. What the hell was she doing? She practically threw herself at him, and she definitely climbed him like a damn tree. Her face flamed a bright red as she turned from him straightening her hair and clothing out. She didn’t want to look at him and let him see how much he had affected her. He had accepted her as a mate but she couldn’t help but feel a slight sting of rejection.

Before she could escape to lick her wounds in peace his hand reached out and grasped her chin, tilting her face up to his. Stubbornly she kept her eyes on his chest, refusing his silent request to look at him. König ducked his head forcing her to look at him. After a moment he clicked his tongue, ‘Ah little Maus do not be sad. This is not a no.’ He paused for a moment looking for the words. ‘This is a not right now. You have just come to my home, alone at that. I wish for you to settle in, relax, there is no pressure here for you. You are safe with me.’ He said the last bit with a little growl.

Relief washed over her at his words. He wanted her but he was right. She needed rest and to get accustomed to her new surroundings and mate. She nodded to him gesturing to the hallway, ‘I’ll follow you this time.’ she smiled at him and for the first time he smiled back like really smiled. And god was it brilliant.

He showed her to her room down the hall to the right, there were two doors opposite each other. He gestured to the door on the left, ‘My room is here and yours is…here.’ He opened the door to her room gesturing for her to enter. All of the air left her body. Every surface was covered with flowers, a wild rainbow of color in every direction. Beyond that the bed sat in the center covered with overstuffed pillows and fabrics of all types, some soft and silky others more like a plush fur. To the right was the door to an attached bathroom with a sunken tub and on the left was a massive walk in closet.

She turned in a circle in the center of the room, breathless at the effort he had put into her room here with him. When her eyes found his he stepped forward to grasp her face in his large palms, his thumbs brushing the tears she hadn’t noticed spilling over. ‘Maus why do you-Ah what is the word?- tears? No. Cry! Why do you cry?’ his words spilled out so fast she began to laugh. His face morphed into one of real concern at my emotional state.

‘No I’m fine please I’m sorry I don’t mean to worry you its just… No one has ever put this much effort into anything for me. I guess its all a bit overwhelming.’ He nodded in agreement as he wiped the last of her tears away. He touched his forehead to hers before whispering, ‘Go. Take a bath and relax. I’ll have dinner ready when you’re done.’ Then he was gone leaving her to do as he said.

She waited until she was sure he was far enough away before squealing like a little girl and dropping face first into her new bed. Maybe this could work after all.

Translations -

Maus - Mouse

Ich komme gleich wieder - I'll be right back

#a/b/o au #könig x fem oc #alpha/beta/omega könig #konig cod

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kaaaaaaarf · 18 days ago

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Big Milestone! We have reached 100 songs on the playlist for everywhere, everything by @lynxindisguise!! Chapter 14 is up, and I have been so excited for this one!!! I've been planning the song selections for a while...wolfstar, Moon-E & Si-ri all get their moments. 🥹

Universe 23,112,125: Robots songs, lyrics and explanations under the cut!

+ CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish

I had been looking for an excuse to add this song to the playlist and when I was talking to Lynx about it, she suggested it would fit well in this chapter, and now that it's out, I agree! I love the sound of this track, and lyrically the whole song fits the vibe, but especially this bit:

But there's a part of me that recognizes you Do you feel it too? When you told me it was serious Were you serious? Mm They told me they were only curious Now it's serious, hm Open up the door, can you open up the door? I know you said before you can't cope with any more You told me it was war, said you'd show me what's in store I hope it's not for sure, can you open up the door? Wringing my hands in my lap And they tell me it's all been a trap And you don't know if you'll make it back I said, "No, don't say that"

+ Nomad by Clairo

This one's for Remus, left behind and missing Sirius.

I'd run the risk of losing everything Sell all my things, become nomadic I'd run the risk, and just in case, I might Sell all my things and become the night Oh, it's hard to believe It's even irrational for me I'm cynical, a mess I'm touch starved and shameless Mm-hmm But I'd rather be alone than a stranger You'd come visit me late at night I'd rather wake up alone than be reminded Of how it was a dream this time [...] Oh, where you hid the key? It's even irrational for me It's chemical, obsessed I blame you for locking me in [...] It's always the same Always the same Every time I see someone new I just think of you, nothing I do Can help it now

+ Wall-E by Thomas Newman

An instrumental track for Moon-E & Si-Ri. 🥹

+ Atlantis by Wunderhorse

A song for the push and pull between Remus and Sirius, and the darker parts about how Remus feels being the one left behind.

I don't wanna be remembered But I don't wanna be forgot And you Maybe you're the great pretender You get everything you want And do they know the place Sunk without a trace Any colour that you like As long as it's black Just as long as it's black Wait There's something I forgot to tell you Something I forgot to say

+ I Want You by Mitski

Two husbands missing each other, and being unable to be together for so many terrible reasons. 🥺

I want you I hold one card That I can't use But I want you You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over and I love you darlin' And I am done, dear You're in the house And I am here in the car I just need a quiet place Where I can scream how I love you I found you I found the door But when I stepped through There was no floor

+ Fixing Wall-E by Thomas Newman.

Instrumental. The scene with Si-ri fixing his broken robot husband BROKE ME OKAY.

+ You Have My Eyes Now by Clues

Sirius and the stones. Remus and being left behind. Robot war. This song has it all.

When the first joints of all the metal collides Cover up your precious eyes and stand to the side The sound is over now You can't hear anymore singing The gold that you hold And from which you made your ring The road is still looking broken You made your own kind of map I saw you leave your bike in the ocean You let your transport rust Ive gone and gave my life to you You have my eyes now

#lynx tag #wolfstar #playlist #everywhere everything #Spotify

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echoedcrosshairs · 1 year ago

Text

Dark Redemption: Blank Slate - part IV

Warning: Cannon typical violence, Order 66, Pinning, former established relationship, emotional turmoil, smut piv, mention of wounds, mention of mount taniss, Crosshair’s depression, Crosshair’s head wound, Flashbacks, experimentation mention.

Word Count: 7.9k

Master list - part I - part II - part III

The dawn had never looked more like the dead of night, reminding Crosshair of the emptiness within laced with a fresh wave of guilt that he knew would never fade into the shadows especially in the darkness light. He hovered next to your unconscious body, how soft and innocent your face looked while you were asleep reminding him of the monster he is; that was enough to make his step falter for a moment. It wasn't suppose to go like this, I was suppose to prove you belong with me. He gnawed on a toothpick trying to keep the rage from watching his features but it didn't go un-noticed by Admiral Rampart.

"I know we spoke about coming tonight but we couldn't risk you and the asset falling back into enemy hands or her getting wind of it and leaving," Rampart stated, or for you to have a sudden change of heart.

"Understood, sir," he tried to say as flatly as possible.

"Unfortunately you can't accompany her to the facility, but you will be there when she wakes up. She will most valuable to us," a way to control you if you step out of line, Rampart mentally added, "and to you."

Crosshair watched as you was taken to another smaller ship, his stomach twisting at what he'd done. He didn't dare each out to touch you one last time before what ever procedure they had planned even though marks of his littered your body plain as day for all to see. He scolded himself for such a visual display of weakness for his affection knowing the empire did not take kindly to such weaknesses. Why couldn't you just say you were coming with us of your own free will? ...with me. Crosshair let out a silent sharp exhale as he walked into the ship taking his place watching the other ship take off into the unknown. Weakness, his brain screamed, but it will be better this way, us together again for the betterment of the galaxy. He discarded the cracked toothpick in his mouth, replacing it with another one to work away his silent frustration.

The rest of the flight back to base was silent, leaving Crosshair alone with his thoughts without the idle chatter of a mission and planning. No longer than he had you, he lost you for however long the procedure would take; it took all of his will power not to lean his head against the wall and stare into nothingness as the emptiness within slowly returned. Fresh images of you flooded his mind causing his toothpick to snap. He quickly put on his helmet to hide the sneer tugging at his mouth. How long until I see you again? Will you still be you? Will I still be me? Will I be Crosshair to you? Were you right; is he gone?

White. White walls, white floors, white clothing. White. The facility was obsessively sterile white top to bottom. Laying on your bunk you stared at the ceiling, without so much as speckling to create the smallest of images. Turning to face the wall you tucked your arm under your head. It was as close to privacy you could have here but it let your eyes shut trying to avoid thinking about the next round of 'treatment' slowly cutting bits of you away. No matter how much you repeated your life story and sequence of events, names and places it was all growing into a distant nearly forgotten memory. Doctor Hemlock had been intrigued by your resistance to the procedure slowly becoming his lab rat. Your ears heard his familiar step pattern approaching, reluctantly you sat up and faced him crossing your arms in unreal defiance knowing if you defied him it would be a day of pain.

"Come along," he sighed watching you scramble to your feet offering an eerie smile at your compliance, "While your mind is not perfectly clear, I think any more treatments will not be necessary for the next phase in your rehabilitation."

"Next phase?" you asked trying to hide the fear in your voice as your temples throbbed thinking about the 'treatment.'

"We're going to test if a regular mind can be implanted with an inhibitor chip, the clones are implanted young however we have yet to test if they work on non-clones. If you survive... you'll get to see him again."

Your heart felt like it had physically stopped, maybe it had. Him. You couldn't remember his name, time to time you remember the outline of his face and his piercing gaze but it always quickly faded, "Who... is he?" you asked already trying to steady the shake in your hand revealing you were more empty minded then you ever let on which didn't go un-noticed by Doctor Hemlock who gave an side eye glance.

"Your commander," was all he offered keeping this revelation to himself, "Does the name Crosshair? Sound familiar"

Speckled silver flashed across your mind followed by wonderful shades of brown and then an intimidating black silhouette in a tree, "Yes."

"You might have been useless getting substantial information about Clone Force 99, however your mind has revealed important about the procedure. I suppose it's time for a reward."

"A reward?" you knew him well enough it wasn't going to be able anything good, the man's name synonymous with pain. You watched Hemlock take out something from his pocket two holo imagines showing. The same man, silver hair and then bald with scaring. Your head started hurting trying to remember but nothing came, "That's.. Crosshair?" you asked questioningly still staring at it before he switched it off.

"Yes," Hemlock said smiling, "You'll be.. reunited with him soon enough," he said ushering you into the medical bay.

"What are we going to do?" Echo grumbled replaying the message again, it had been weeks and not a single whisper of your whereabouts anywhere. He knew that was meant something horrible had gone down.

"Per her instruction, we are to assume and proceed as if she is dead and bury the photos back on Corellia," Tech said flatly.

"We have to go after her!" Omega insisted, "We just have to keep searching!"

"Hate to say it but the kids right," Wrecker added, "Regardless of what we wanted she would come after us."

Hunter's hand curled into a fist trying to quell the anger boiling up, "We are to assume Crosshair killed her and forgive him, that's the last thing she told me."

"What!" Echo snapped staring at him, the rage in his blood boiling as he teeth clenched together.

"Crosshair wouldn't, would he?" Omega asked quietly.

"I... do not know anymore," Tech sighed, "since his time with the Empire I am no longer sure of the man he is; but he is still our brother. I do not believe he would or could be possible of harming her however I... also have to assume he followed orders."

"Then we just have to find Crosshair," Omega pointed out.

"He's too dangerous, especially now if he..." Hunter said hesitating too finish the remark, lost his last sliver of a heart, "We have to keep you safe from the Empire, that's what she wanted. I'm sorry Omega but we can't go after her."

"Can't or won't?" Echo said bitterly standing up, "We don't leave our own behind," he said before heading to his bunk to think, debating if he wanted to reach out to Captain Rex or if he just wanted to go by himself to find answers. Hunter is right, we all can't go and leave Omega unprotected but I'm an ARC, this is what I do. Echo took an annoyed breath finding the presence of Wrecker staring at him in his own bunk. "What?" Echo grumbled.

"You're thinking about finding her yourself aren't you?" the giant asked.

"She's was family to you all long before I joined this squad, we should be going after her."

"Ya got a point," Wrecker huffed, "What about the kid?"

"I'll go alone, Rex didn't give up on me; I can't give up on her. Who knows what the Empire is doing to her."

"Just think it through," Wrecker wasn't a planning guy, he rushed rushed in head first but even he knew for this not even he could do that and win.

"Thanks, Wrecking Ball," Echo gave a short laugh before looking down at his scomp hoping you hadn't met a similar fate or worse.

"He does have a point," Tech pointed out raising his finger to emphasize it.

"I know... Tech, I know," Hunter muttered defeatedly listening to the conversation playing out in the bunk room, "I have to choose between saving her or risking the lives of everyone in this squad."

"And Crosshair's, we don't know if she is dead or alive, or a hostage being used against him," Tech added, "They are partners, where we find one we will more then likely find the other if she is alive. If we could just find him in the field-."

"Stow it, Tech," Hunter murmured, "We have to think this through thoroughly account for every angle," he whispered, "for Omega's sake."

White, vibrant bright white. In the distance you think you heard screaming; a part of you curling up in to a ball trying to hold onto something but it didn't last long against the flooding sensation of sterile white. You stopped registering the growing pain with the amount of sedation that coursed through your blood. The part of you which desperately tried to hold your mind together fading into depthless black. Have to remember... them.

Hemlock watch as your thrashing stilled, smiling clasping his hands behind his back before asking about your stabilizing vitals, "Excellent, prepare her for transport."

"Doctor, we don't know if the procedure was successful," Emory countered.

"Prepare the asset for transportation, if it was a failure we terminate the experiment and try again," he repeated annoyed.

Crosshair was brought to medical facility in a unmarked ship, it had been weeks without a whisper of your name and he had started to assume the worse unexpected when a file was handed to him to read. Project Belladona, Rampart had called it. Curious. Upon entering the room he found a Reg sitting stiffly. Commander Neyo. Crosshair didn't sit, annoyed at the intrusion of this reunion. Patiently he waited against the wall until your sleeping body was brought in. His eyes didn't leave you, watching every raise and fall of your chest slowly relaxing with every breath that you were still alive and lived through whatever had been done.

"The Doctor will not be joining us," Emory said injecting adrenaline into the iv, "She should wake momentarily. Her memory however is... distorted. You've both have read the briefing. We don't know what or when she will remember."

Crosshair's reservations broke as he pried himself off the wall moving to your side as he saw your body trying to wake, placing his fingers inches from yours as he waited staring down hoping to be the first thing you saw upon waking. His fingers inched closer almost breaking the gap when you shot forward clutching the side of your head. Crosshair watched at you looked down finding his hand then up at him before looking towards Neyo. No recognition, nothing. Nothing, just like me.

"Commander! How long was I out?" You asked looking towards Commander Neyo.

"Lay back down, lieutenant" Neyo said nodding towards the bed, "Do you remember Commander Crosshair?"

You looked at the man, deep brown eyes, sharp nose, high cheek bones, full eyebrows and a prominent cupid's bow and jaw line, "No, Sir. Apologies Commander."

Crosshair pulled his hand away as if a rapid animal had struck him, "With time will her memory return?" He asked flatly looking to the unknown woman fighting the crumpling sensation in his chest.

"Possibly, we don't know for sure. I must go update the doctor on her condition," Emory stated with a small nod exiting the room.

"Glad to see you've awakened. I wish the best for your recovery," Neyo said eyeing Crosshair suspiciously before he exited as well.

Crosshair's eyes were fixated on you, nothing but your mind seemed out of place no fresh scars that he could perceive except there it was... a dull haze in your eyes; life-like but more to the appearance of a wax figure rather then a living person. He stuck a fresh toothpick in his mouth trying to regain any semblance of composure, "What do you remember?" His stomach twisting in preparation for the answer

"I don't really remember much," you said blinking before staring at him, "You're familiar but I can't say if I ever knew you personally."

"We've been together for a long time," Crosshair said open endedly, "At least your awake."

"How long has it been?"

"40 rotations."

A month, you have been out a little over a month. You tried sitting back up but you felt his firm touch push you back down, "I'm fine," you tried again but his touch was even firmer this time. There was an intensity in the grip you didn't understand but it was threatening but caring wasn't the correct word either.

"Not til the Doctor releases you."

"You don't need to baby me, Commander."

"You'd like me spoon feeding you" He quipped, "To you, it's just Crosshair," he added.

"I am certain that goes against regulations," you started.

"We've always been a little against regulations," he finally sat back in the chair the room provided. Examining the faint haze in your eyes, he wondered if it was the procedure or from the sedation but he wasn't that lucky. The lack of recognition in yours eyes made him feel even more insignificant in the vastness of the galaxy. All the time together, gone. Just like with his brother. A lifetime erased. His fingers brushed against the pocket concealed under his armor hiding the photo Hunter had given you. For a moment he was tempted to pull it out and show you but for now he could continue to save what little was left of his heart.

"When you meant we've been together for a while...?" he watched your eyes shift to the door then back to him.

"We've been together for a while," he restated with a small smirk watching you roll your eyes at him. At least her observational skills are still intact. "How's your head?"

"Hurts, but its tolerable. If we've been together why was Commander Neyo here?"

"Good question," Crosshair arched an eyebrow seeing him in the hall wall still talking to the lady, "Doesn't matter. You're where you belong."

"With you?"

"Yes."

You stared at him, his demeanor, his voice, the void in his eyes it all seemed to familiar but no memory came forward. White. You looked around the room, it seemed familiar at least the shade of vibrancy did. You blinked remembering one tiny memory of being strapped to a bed in a room like this and that was enough to make your heart start zooming. You flew up, hearing your heart monitor ding and twisting his arm out of the way as he tried to push you back down, "No, please," you whispered. You saw him narrow his eyes and eyebrows furl together for a moment before it soothed back into a neutral expression.

"Remember something?" he whispered.

"I don't like white rooms."

Crosshair gave a curt nod, she remembered something about the facility before me, kark it. The corner of his eye caught Neyo's back walking away and the lady reproaching. He eyed every movement as she checked over her vitals and scanned her head. Crosshair's fingers gripped the arm of his chair but stayed silent as he saw the tiny implanted chip on her screen. Fury starting boiling in his blood, he knew that's what took so long trying to see if she would survive. She wasn't some clone, nat borns weren't designed for that.

"She's free to go, the doctor will come check up on her on a later date," Emory said unplugging her connections to the various machines.

Crosshair held out his hand helping you to your feet, "Crosshair, a moment?" the lady said tilting her head to the side. He dropped your hand and walked over barely keeping his composure.

"What."

"Take this, it's to monitor her implant for any complications. If this meter drops belong half press that button and we'll be on our way to.. retrieve her."

More than likely terminate her, "Understood," Crosshair spun on his heel tucking the monitor into his utility belt quickly returning to your side, "Let's go," he said quickly wanting to get you out of that disgusting situation. Stirring you through the halls back to the awaiting ship, he was granted small relief as the door shut behind him. He gave the order to the pilot to take off immediately before taking a seat watching as you sit across from him. Putting a fresh toothpick in, "Now, what did you remember?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out. Is that my weapon kit?" You asked looking at the long carry crate on the floor.

"Ours. Your armor replacement is in that crate," he said nodding his chin towards a box in the corner he hadn't bothered to look through.

You got up surprised at how easy walking the across the ship had been with the mild turbulence. Your fingers hovered at the lock wondering the type of person you were, is it too going to be white? Opening it you found black on dark grey on deepest shade of red camo pattern scattered across it. Muscle memory quickly equipped it into place. Tucking your helmet under your arm you found him staring at you, annoyance lacing his features with a sneer plastered across his face. You looked down at the armor then back up at him, "Did I put something on crooked?" you asked confused.

"No."

"Then what's that look for? Or is just your face?" you said arching an eyebrow.

"It's the colors on our disbanded unit. Paint it black when we get back to base." It felt like a slap in the face, just another silent taunt by the Empire which he diligently served.

"Yes, Sir," you said shuffling back into your seat.

"You don't need to-."

"Regulations."

"Then you're really going to hate it when we get to the base," Crosshair snickered his mood lightly lifting at the approaching realization.

"Sir?"

"You'll see," he smiled folding his arms over his chest.

You stared down into the visor of the helmet, looking over the colors causing words to tickle the tip of your tongue but nothing came. Your mind felt as empty as the color of the hospital. Sighing you set the helmet on the seat next to you. Itching the side of your head you found Crosshair staring at you intensely, quickly you dropped your hand to your lap feeling like a scolded child for some reason under his gaze. Instead you opened the weapon kit on the floor finding two blaster rifles, one well used and one brand new. The rifle whispered to you, calling you to use it against them. The traitors. You stared at it blinking before you shut the case pushing it away. The side of your head pulsed once more before fading. Arriving at the base their was one no to greet either of you which you had anticipated. Passing eyes stared at both of you as moved through the barracks heading towards a room at the very end of the hall. You watched Crosshair pull out a card and slip it into the slot, the door sliding opening. You followed him in finding spotless quarters, everything perfectly aligned but eyes going wide noting the two beds a few spaces apart.

"Why is everything of mine new?" you questioned eyeing your armor, the weapon, the bed, even the obvious new clothes in the small closet.

"Regulations," he shrugged, "We should run a battle simulation to see what you remember."

"Now?" you arched an eyebrow.

"I obviously meant yesterday," he quipped placing his hand on his hip letting his other hand set the weapon kit on the bed opening it. He stared at you as your hands assembled it faster then they had in the past even rivaling his own practiced speed. Hearing your quietly foot steps following him, he guided both of you to a training room away from prying eyes. He saw the cold expression on your face before slipping on your bucket. I suppose that's the chips influence. Wonder if that's what I had looked like before battle. Crosshair quickly tapped in the authorization for the drill and snapped quick orders watching you follow them to the letter. In his observational perch he watched you tenaciously defeat the combatant droids. He didn't make a sound as he hoped out of the shadows on to the ground as the simulation ended, "Remove your helmet," no sooner had the words came out of his mouth did he see you taking it off and folding it into the crook of your room. There was still the void expression across your face, empty. He made a hmm noise sticking a toothpick back in his mouth, "That's enough for today," he watched a sliver of you return to your gaze before stalking out of the room.

Watching his hand move you caught the key card he tossing the spare in your direction. You turned it over in your hand before slipping it into your pocket, "Was my performance satisfactory?" you asked looking at him finding him lost in thought. You didn't bother to ask again at his silence. Seems like the type of man who would have said something if it wasn't. Finally he looked at you with a scrutinizing expression but still didn't say a word. You were getting really pissed by the expression without explanation.

"Commander-."

"Crosshair," he growled, "Yes?" he asked softer.

"When can I go back to hunting them down?"

"Who?" Crosshair said squinting.

"Clone Force 99," the name on the tip of your tongue finally blared in your head echoing through out your body, "Our... old unit," throbbing knocked on indelicately against your temples. Fingers traced the side of your head, you found Crosshair's thumb running along side the throbbing part of your mind with an unrecognizable expression across it. "What is it?" you asked arching an eyebrow noticing the touch relaxed the flutter in your hollow chest.

"Nothing," he said pulling his hand away, fingers plucking the toothpick out of his mouth and flicking it away.

"When do I get to see the rest of our squad."

"They died rescuing you," the lie came easily as he had perfected it waiting for your arrival, the perfect cover story the empire had carefully planned. The shadow of the truth laced with a hint an echos betrayal. "We're on standby." Crosshair felt the tingle in his hand from the touch even through the glove of your warmth. His lip twitched into a frown stopping his abrupt walking, "Get changed," before he turned back into the direction of the barracks.

"Sir?"

"We're going out."

You followed him back to the room gluing your eyes to the floor as you heard his armor click to the floor. Out of the corner of your eye you saw his back was still towards you but his head was tilted to the side smirking before digging out civvies. Finding the dresser you opened it stacking your armor on the top putting on the first thing you saw. Your eyes caught silver in his drawer, you moved towards it and grabbed it without hesitation holding the soft fabric in your hands. Inhaling the scent it seemed so familiar, "Crosshair," you whispered. Pulling it away from your face, a small image of a store popped in your mind, "I picked this out."

"You did," he affirmed eyeing you, "Reminded you of my hair," he gave a small curt laugh running his hand across his scalp before grabbing the scarf wrapping it around him neck, letting out a content hmm, "Coming, Cyar'ika?" the endearment slipped out. He gridded his teeth turning away from you.

"Cyar'ika?" you asked catching up to his frame heading towards the door.

"Empty headed."

"I somehow don't think that is what it means," you laughed.

"Wouldn't you like to know" you found his eyes beaming at you a smile tugging at his eyes, "I'll tell you if you remember anything I deem relevant," his smirked nearly caused his tooth pick to fall out. Crosshair watched as you caught up to his side following him to the speeders at the edge of the base. He felt your warm against his back as you climbed on, holding his waist causing him to quickly exhale trying to dispel the memories playing across his vivid mind.

"What planet is this?"

Crosshair cocked his head squinting before returning his eyes to the road, "Corellia."

"Have I been here before?"

"You tell me."

"I don't think so, doesn't sound familiar."

"Hmph," Crosshair gruntled. A special place in your heart, erased. This place and I are alike. His eyes took in the surrounding landscape before taking a sharp turn towards the out-skirted city. He felt your grip tighten at the sudden jolt but hoped it would spark any memory. Using his tongue he flicked the toothpick into air, smirking as he peaked watching it fall into the trash but silently disappointed you couldn't see such a feat with natural eyes. His smirk faded as he remember the last time you saw him, the acceptance of what had happened but the tranquil peace with the other option. The hatred of himself kept him going, a painful motivator to continue because being the monster no one understood what was the one thing he could say he was the absolute best at.

The speeder drifted to into a spot under a tree, you watched him climb up it with ease. You watched him stare into the distance then down at you, "See something you like?" he purred. Suddenly the image of him went black it was just a shadow in the tree. The shadowy images slammed into your mind as you stumbled back, your head threatening to split but in a flash it was gone and he was in front of you grabbing your wrist concern lacing every corner of his features, "Cyar'ika, what is it?"

"Shadows playing tricks, it spooked me," you tried to shrug off.

"A highly trained imperial lieutenant getting spooked?" he said arching an eyebrow, "unlikely."

You pulled your hands away from him, "You don't need to baby me, Commander," you snapped.

"I am looking after my subordinate," he sighed releasing you from his grasp.

You rolled your eyes at the comment. You weren't an idiot you could see it plain as day across his face that there was more to the story, "Are you going to cut the bantha crap and tell me?" you said narrowing your eyes at him.

"It means Darling," he said walking away, "Maybe you need real food."

A single eyebrow arched up but you followed after him contemplating if that was an answer to both questions or just one. While most of his statements had open ended meanings often alluding to more it wandered you if he ever gave direct answers. Taking in the surrounding, you noticed the lack of flora instead finding infrastructure scattered about with gigantic transport ships taking off. Silence clung to both of your voice boxes as you tried to dissect each other for who you were. There was something about him that felt like home but equally something that made every hair on your arm try to stand up, there was something eerie about him threatening to spill over but you couldn't place your finger on it. For as many speeders passed and ships took off the air was still crisp, cold upon entering your nostrils with just a hint of metallic scent lacing it. Somehow you started outpacing him, your feet leading you towards a semi run down building near the back edge of town. Corellian Well Cantina. It didn't ring any bells but somehow your feet knew where he was guiding you. You heard Crosshair make a small hmph noise as he stuck a fresh pick between his lips as he snatched an unused menu from the table behind the two of you. Watching as his slender hand pushed the menu towards you as his long fingers droned against the wood tabletop. Flipping threw the menu to appease him, you let your eyes steal glances over the top of the menu noticing him avoiding you as he took in the rest of the Cantina.

"Not having anything?" you asked nonchalantly putting the menu down notice he hadn't bothered to grab another.

"I order the same thing."

"Doesn't that get boring?"

"I like routines."

"Not very fun or adventurous," you smirked watching him take mild offense to the comment snatching the menu, "Wow maybe you're a little less boring," you teased further with a small laugh.

Crosshair's ears honed in on the beautiful sound, the corner of his mouth upturning that it was still the same. Playfully he took the pick of his mouth and flicked it at you, watching you attempt to swat it away but failing as it landed in your hair. He snatched it in the air as you tried to flick it back at him, "and maybe you're a little less forgetful then you seem," he poked emptily before flagging down the server who's surprised expression didn't go unnoticed as he ordered something new. It didn't surprise him as you ordered the same thing but he didn't say anything, "That sounds good," he offered handing the menu to the server dismissively. Interlacing his fingers, Crosshair made a rest for his chin as he continued to survey the cantina before returning his gaze back to you. "I'm glad you're alive."

"Thank you... Crosshair."

"What are you staring at?" He asked arching an eyebrow.

"Your tattoo."

Cautiously Crosshair leaned forward offering his eye, "Trace it," he tempted.

Your head pulled back in surprised but your finger tips already prickled moving towards the ink embedded flesh. Reflexively your hand found the side of his face, your thumb alone tracing the tattoo. Dark embers danced across his iris as you repeated the motion trying to recall anything but nothing came. You sighed and pulled your hand away watching a disappointed expression bloom across his features, "Sorry," you mumbled.

"You never need to apologize to me," he snapped before exhaling, "It was my fault anyway," he mumbled harshly.

"Sometimes it's hard to make the right decision in war."

"You've spent to much time with Commander Cody," a tiny light bulb went off in Crosshair's head. If I could just find Cody... Stop. You choose this. See it through. Crosshair's com went off opening it he found orders to check out an unscheduled landing. Growling he stood up, "Order's let's move." He watched as you drew two concealed blasters and handed him one. Smirking he took it, "Make that to go," he told the server.

You followed after him at a run as the two of you took off for the speeder. Barely having enough time to wrap your arms around his waist, he started the speeder and both of you were off. Your eyes honed in on the landed ship in the distance, "Them." Still keeping distance Crosshair shut off the bike letting it slide behind cover, he motioned for you to follow and slowly both of you approached the ship. Your eyes narrowed at him noting his weapon wasn't drawn on the traitors, your eyes glued themselves back to the ship skin prickling in anticipation.

"They know we're here," Crosshair whispered looking around finding Hunter in the distance glaring towards him, "Stay close."

However you didn't listen, you had orders. You heard his hiss to stay put but your feet kept moving on their own. The tempo of the drum in your chest kept speeding up until it reached your ears. Tiny movement of shadow in the near distance caught your eye and you moved closer to it finding it to be a person's silhouette. Trigger finger inching as every step made the shadow more defined, Echo.

Your name fell from his lips in shock as you lifted the blaster towards the center of his chest, "You're alive. What are you doing? We have to go."

"You're a traitor to the Empire, you are to be terminated."

Echo's eyes went wide at the statement as the trigger went off but he was already moving. "We have to go," Echo shouted into the com, "Something's wrong." For once his legs stayed under him as he moved putting as much distance as he could between you and him.

"Why is she shooting at us?" Wrecker said running off towards the ship dunking out of the way of the blaster fire.

Hunter heard it, a whisper under Crosshair's breath. Rage boiled in his blood, "The Empire implanted her with a chip." Experimenting on Clone's and now on Nat borns? This was personal to Empire to get us, it had to be. Was Crosshair in on it? His blaster is on stun and he's not genuinely aiming. Maybe not.

"I did not know that was possible," Tech said firing stun shots in your direction providing cover for the others to get onto the ship.

In slow motion, Echo jumped onto the ramp as a shot finally landed on his shoulder as he turned to look at your rushing imagine towards them. No regret or hesitation in your eyes, just per dedication to your assignment. After his time as property of the Techno union, Echo came to learn he could still feel fear... and now it froze him. Wrecker scooped up the Corporal in one arm tossing him into the ship as the ramp started closing. "I'm fine," Echo said peeling his shoulder looking at the tiny graze feeling Omega's well practiced hand already placing a bacta patch on it. He slumped in his seat taking his helmet off, "We have to tell Rex what the Empire is now capable of if they ever get their hands on us."

"Well for us, the orders seem to be kill sight."

"Thanks Captain Obvious," Echo grumbled.

"I do understand your meaning. It is highly distressing that the Empire would go to such lengths."

"We changed things on Ryloth. The Empire will be coming for us for the damage we caused."

"We got your chips out, we can get hers out too!" Omega said looking at all of them pleadingly.

"Omega, we tried," Hunter said defeatedly, not capable of meeting her gaze, "We have to let her go, she's with the Empire now."

"We also do not know enough on the procedure if she could survive having the chip removed," Tech added, "You have to let her go."

"Would you want us to let you go?" Omega demanded glaring at Tech.

"Yes, if it was in the best interest of the squad. We all are prepared to make that sacrifice. So was she," Tech said turning to look at his sister, "She is with Crosshair. We have to trust whatever his personal ambitions and plans are - that they include her, he let us live on Ryloth, on Kamino and just now. We may not understand what is going through his mind but I choose to believe he is playing a long game none of us understand," Tech twisted back setting his focus back to flying.

"Did he say anything else?" Echo asked eyeing Hunter who also wouldn't meet his gaze.

"To Run," Hunter admitted, "I don't trust him but she wasn't playing around. I believe he was right about the chip and to run."

Wrecker looked at Echo who returned his gaze with a nod upward, "She'll be home before you know it kid," Wrecker assured placing his huge hand on her petite shoulder, "Just gotta be patient." If she's breathin, she'll be coming home.

Blaster fire clung to the air but that didn't detour your anger. You mirrored him placing your hand on your hips glaring at him, "Why did you set it to stun! The order is to terminate them on sight."

"I haven't received any such order," Crosshair said spinning the blaster around his finger before handing it back, "I ordered you to stun, why didn't you obey?" he squinted.

"My orders go above you."

"I've been with you since you woke up, you haven't received any such order; lieutenant."

"The Emperor.." the pain on the side of your head started again, your hand moved to it defensively, "ordered it."

"Did he now?" Crosshair said slyly moving closer until he was on your toes looking down hovering his face mer inches away from yours feeling your warm breath against his neck. "Go back to the Cantina, eat. That is an order," he said seeing the approaching Imperial ship with reinforcements and more than likely command. Once again trying to think quickly of a way to cover this.

"Yes, sir." Reluctantly you turned and headed towards the speeder, looking at him one more time watching him shoo you with his hand as he turned towards the ship. Arriving back at the Cantina the table the two of had temporarily occupied was still vacant so you slide back into it. At first you attempted to eat slowly but it didn't last long with the craving in your core for the solid substance. Your stomach grumbled at the cramming of food. Leaning back in your seat you stared at the blasters tucked into your waist band and the empty heaviness weighting them down. You thought about the shock on their faces, had we spoken lately? Why would they assume I would go with them? However emptiness weighed in your chest, nothing towards them was felt not even a sliver of closeness. They were nothing, traitors. You were to caught up in your thoughts when Crosshair appeared wiping the corner of your mouth with a napkin. It made the area tingle where the napkin had touched, warmth creeping into your cheeks. Unfamiliar softness lined his features as he sat down slowly shifting back into the harden solider.

"How did it feel?" He asked flatly examining you with her perceptive gaze looking for any hit of memory.

"Feel?" You asked finding the void in his gaze.

"Shooting your best friend," he poked eyeing you with squinted eyes.

"I shot a traitor," you said matter of factly.

"You didn't always think like that," Crosshair mumbled looking down at his food, no longer feeling hungry with the unsettling feeling creeping through him that you were more gone then he anticipated. He took a few bits pushing the contents around with his fork before just closing the box. His gloved hand found the scarred webbing on the side of his head and his leg curled up to his chest, the activation of his chip had shook him to his core often haunting him in the dead of night. Abandoned by his brothers, forced to try to kill the family he'd ever known and accepted him, then to have them still question his loyalty and now this would be another ghost haunting him. Crosshair was aware of his cold demeanor and severe outlook on life but how much it had been amplified and changed him to be the perfect soldier, part of his humanity had been taken buried in a locked chest in the depths of his being just out of reach until the accident and having it once again just to lose the person who made him feel like life was worth continuing. His eyes moved sideways feeling your hand cover the one he had on the side of his head.

"It makes you self conscious."

"What do you know," he said harshly removing his hand forcing your hand to drop.

"I don't need to know, I just need to see," you watch his eyes lift off the table softly looking at you for a moment only tenderness to, "I'm sorry I don't remember you, I didn't even consider how difficult this is for you too."

"Hmm," he said digging out a pick and putting it in his mouth. His fingers moved to his pocket debating bearing the truth but decided against it letting his hand fall flat on the table. "It is," he decided to admit, "and agonizing." I am nothing but a clone. A soldier carrying out orders to serve the purpose I was created for but you were suppose to be my everything to give me a reason protect this galaxy but once again in the makers cruelty I am nothing to you too. You're so close but a galaxy away. "What," he stated seeing your eyes still on him.

"Ri.... Riduur," your lips quivered speaking the word, "What does it mean-."

"Don't ever say that word again... until you remember," Crosshair growled but that didn't cover the heart breaking expression on his face, "Feeling full," he quipped with a wink trying to change the conversation as he noticed the near empty box before you.

Your eyes widen at the abrupt switch before you rolled them, "Yes. You obviously aren't however," you said moving your hand looking at the barely eaten food, "Do I need to feed you?" you taunted his early words back at him.

Crosshair smirked handing you the fork in a silent challenge, watching as you took it and reopened his box of food. Genuine laughter filled his lungs after you put food on it and hovered it by his mouth. He took the bite and took the fork from your hand to continue to pick at the food himself. Pulling his data pad out he slide it across the table opening your file up, "Up to you." He waited as you read your file along with opening his.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you asked pushing the pad back towards him. No words could describe what it was like to read your life, at least parts of it that were on the record. It was looking in on a scene as a stranger in the distance realizing it was your scene but no matter how fast you ran towards it you couldn't touch it.

"I did."

"Poorly. Why is my service record blank for the past year?"

Kark. "Classified," Crosshair opted, "Same reason part of mine is."

Somehow that answer just make sense, "I was undercover with them. Wasn't I?" You thought about the look of shock and horror on their faces as you shot at them, deep down you knew that was correct answer. You had been with them. I didn't always think like that? Suspiciously you eyed Crosshair, was I traitor? No I would never betray the Empire but would he? Traitors get terminated.

"Classified."

Taking a sip of the water glass the server had brought over you continued to examine him over the rim of the glass, the way his nostrils barely move when he's breathing, the micro movements of his facial muscles when he moves and the depths of his eyes which look like they could swallow you alive and drag you into their dark depths. "I know." It was a game of cat and mouse, what could be said and what could not, if you were smart enough to read between the lines but never truly reveal the cards in either hand. "So... Crosshair, would do you like to do for fun?"

"Guess," he smiled interlacing his finger over the table going still as a statue waiting.

"Hmm," you tapped a finger on the table looking at him again, mentally going over his record and the limited time exposed to him, "Actually..." you paused to look up at him, "Show me one activity that you want me to only think of you during."

"Given your reaction earlier, I don't think you'll like it," Crosshair made the measly tab, motioning for you to follow him. The feel of your hands around his waist froze him for a moment, he looked down at your small arms wrapped around him taking a steadying breath. This is what I wanted, to be together... but we never seemed further apart.

You watched as the landscape faded behind you, the city melting into the distance as you continued to ride into no where. The feel of him against you felt natural, you rested the side of your face against his tensing back. The scent of leather, musk and smoke engulfed your senses and probably would have put you to sleep besides knowing if you loosened your grip it would be a long way down. You tightened your grip a little adjusting how you sat hearing a small muffled growl from him, "Sorry," you mumbled a small wave of embarrassment hitting you.

"Just stop moving," he gritted trying to keep the tent from growing in his pants as your legs and core straddle and rub against him. Thankfully you had stopped moving giving him time to relax and breath. She's not mine, not now, he reminded himself. The rest of the trip was in blessed silence as he took both of you to a mountain side he had found on one of his days off trying to get away from the world to think and find peace in the new galaxy. Regs, the republic, the Jedi, that time is over. We'll be strong, united and unconquerable. Crosshair's agile legs swung first prying off the mode of transportation breaking free of the touching and containment of the embrace. Smirking he looked at you for a moment then up the cliff side, "Climb."

Climb? You watched as his hands and feet already found footing propelling himself up. It was just a momentary lapse, you did your best to psyche yourself up for the task before perusing him up the sharp climb. Pausing for a moment to catch your breath you watched his grace as his hands swiftly moved from one spot to another while his feet tested foot holes. Clone Commando's, you mumbled a sound he apparently caught as he stopped to glare.

"Care to say that again?" he threatened.

"You are designed to be nearly perfect," you offered, "Endured rigorous training to make this child's play to you."

"You use to be able to keep up," he grumbled waiting, "Glad this wasn't in the field, or we'd be dead," he huffed.

"If I'm dead weight then why wait for me?"

"To keep you from being dead."

Maybe it was the inflection in his nasally voice or the way he looked when he said it or maybe even the way he tried to safeguard your climb the rest of the way up but something in your chest echoed an unfamiliar flutter as you climbed up in onto the perch of the climb overlooking the nothingness. You saw his drawn in posed as he sat, this time no memories revealed themselves. The sun set darkened his eyes while shadowing the hollow cut of his cheeks.

"Beautiful," he stated looking out at the vastness of empty land, keeping you in his peripheral even as the evening haze begun to contour your features.

"Crosshair?" you asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?" you asked the tooth pick nawing man as he continued to watch the world around him as if the universe in it's entirety existed in this single moment as he turned to look at you, pain lacing his features.

"People like me don't get happy endings."

Tags: @projectdreamwalker

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