#ive been finding it really hard to motivate to do anything but here's this little snippet

[soobinsonly1bf]

hello ! do you think you could write something for comfort sex from yeonjun? (its perfectly okay if not :)) ive just been having a really shit week and the yeonjun tag is so dry rn bc ive read everything 😞 also welcome to tumblr!! 💗💗

of course i can write it!! also, i hope you feel better already😭 if not, then i just hope this one-shot will make you feel better for at least a few minutes!! and oh god, I'M SO SO SORRY that it took me so long... i couldn't find any motivation to finish it😓

yeonjun + comfort sex

warnings: nsfw, afab!reader, softdom!yeonjun, sub!reader, fluff, praise, cunnilingus, fingering, soft sex, crying (while cumming), use of pet words (babe, baby, love), a little bit of angst implied at the end??

!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!

it was a hard day for you, so now you were just laying on your bed, cuddling to the pillow. suddenly you hear the front door opening and you can't help, but smile softly.

"hi, babe!" yeonjun greets loudly. "i'm back!" he says and after some minutes, he walks into the room with a smile. when he looks at you, his expression changes, now to a worried one. "hey, are you alright? you look tired as hell..." he says as he comes near the bed, gently sitting next to your legs.

"yeah, i don't feel really good today. it was a... really hard week. you know, the whole stress and- and everything." you admit, but still smile at him.

"is there something i can do for you? i can make a dinner or just tidy up or buy you something or cuddle. anything that would make you feel at least a little bit better." he says and takes your hand in his, gently stroking your hand with his thumb.

"wanna kiss..." you mumble suddenly, kinda embarrassed that it came out of your mouth without really thinking.

he chuckles. "yeah? you just want some kisses? come here, love..." he says and pulls you closer to him, placing your head on his lap. he starts kissing gently all over your face, except on the lips.

"yeonjun..." you whine and he immidiately knows what you mean, because he leaves a gentle peck on your lower lip, then another and another... it's still not enough tho. "i want a proper kiss." you say with a small pout.

"why are you so impatient today, huh?" he laughs softly, soon pressing his lips into yours, now slightly harder. you look at him with a disappointed look as he moves away.

"and since when it is a proper kiss? what are we, highschoolers?" you say, slightly frustrated.

"just say if you want a makeout session." he laughs and soon you're laying just like before he got home... but now with him on top of you. he's kissing you, now properly, more passionately, with more pressure. you still feel how soft, how careful he is with you, just like his lips could crush yours if he was too rough.

you can't help a giggle leaving your lips right into the kiss and he slowly moves away, looking at you with his head tilted to the side. "what?" he asks, confused.

"nothing... you're just too sweet." you giggle again and pull him into another kiss. you just love it, his lips gently caressing yours. it's all full of love, warming your heart and making your worries disappear.

soon it all became more heated, more desperate to just feel each other, to show your love. he was leaving soft kisses along your jaw, slowly getting closer to your neck and kissing all over it too. you couldn't find a spot where he didn't left a peck...

"still feeling bad?" he chuckles, looking you in the eyes. you really can see how he looks at you, how much his gaze says. how much he truly loves you and cares about you.

"just a little bit." you say, now just kinda curious of what he's gonna do.

"i think i know exactly how to make you feel good... if you want?" he asks, licking his lips. oh you know exactly what that means.

"you're seriously asking?" you chuckle and you don't even know when and how he got in between your thighs, your pajama pants already on the floor...

"gonna make you feel so good, baby... stay still for me." he says and soon you feel him licking throughout the entire length of your cunt. you gasp at the sudden friction and he immidiately looks up at you, not moving his face away. "alright?" he asks and you simply nod.

he starts his work again, first slowly and gently, just licking your clit, kissing it too from time to time. oh he definitely has fun... soon his lips and tongue start moving faster, slightly harder against your pussy.

his fingers slowly make their way to you too, spreading your folds. he's lapping at your entrance, his tongue trying to get inside, but in reality just teasing you, making you desperate to feel full, to finally have his cock inside.

you clench around nothing, whining quietly. "please..." you whimper and you don't have to tell him twice. he slips two of his fingers at once inside of your warm pussy, already so wet for him.

it takes just a few thrust of his long fingers and a few more licks on your clit, and you're already feeling how close you are. "fuck, baby- so so close..." you mumble and soon you're clenching around nothing again, cumming hardly on his fingers that haven't stopped going in and out of you through your orgasm.

"so good for me... god, you're so beautiful like this, you know that?" he slips his fingers out of you and to your surprise – stands up. you relax again as you see him taking the condoms from the night stand, pulling his pants and boxers off in one go and exposing his already hard dick... so hard just from eating you out.

he pulls the condom on his cock, stroking it a few times. "you're wet enough, aren't you?" he says teasingly, but also genuinely asking.

"yeah, it's alright, just- just please, put it in." you say quickly, already raising your legs and getting in his favorite position. your wet cunt on the display just for him, ready to take his cock... god, the things you do to him.

he doesn't hesitate, just slowly slips his dick inside of you. you realized just now how much you needed this, your love stretching you out oh so prefectly. "i love you so much..." he says suddenly and makes the first thrust.

soon you're both just moaning your names and "i love you"s constantly. his hands holding your thighs, thrusting in a steady, slow rhythm. there's no need to rush things, the only thing important to the both of you is to make each other feel good and loved.

"i'm gonna cum soon..." he admits, keep on looking you in the eyes. he just loves you so much, it really shows with everything he does and says. it's not fucking, it's just making love for the both of you. it makes your heart melt when you see how lovingly he stares at you, taking your every expression, every little grimace.

"it's alright, i'm already close too." you say with a soft smile. you pull him closer to you, now his head in the crook of your neck. he leaves small kisses on your neck and shoulder, showering you with even more love.

you feel your orgasm hitting you once again.. but this time tears starts flowing down your cheeks. you're confused, but not wanting to worry him, you just ignore it, focusing on your release.

"fuck, love, i'm- oh fuck..." he moans, filling up the condom. he thrust a few more times and slip out of your literally drenched pussy. he takes his head away from your neck, looking at you. his expression immidiately changes when he sees your tears. "oh god, are you okay? did i do something wrong? did i hurt you? shit, i'm so so sorry..." he starts panicking, but you shut him up with a kiss.

"hey, it's okay, you didn't do anything, don't worry... i just- i noticed that sometimes it is like this." you sigh, taking him by his cheeks and pulling him into a kiss again.

"don't scare me like that ever again..." he says, planting a kiss on your cheek.

—————

a/n: okay guys funfact!! if someone doesn't know: if you're crying while orgasming and it seems like there's no reason, it might be because you feel sad, lonely, unloved or because of some trauma.

[captaindysdexic]

My problem with Twisted Wonderland

As someone who used to consistently play every single day for months, I've got a lot of issues. Let me preface this by saying I know nothing I'm saying will change the game and how it runs, I just want to come here and rant about the game I used to love.

Rant below the cut

My biggest problem is how grindy the game is, especially as a strict f2p player.

As someone who's never spent money on the game, it is so easy to tell how much of a cash grab the game is. The people that work on the game care about it I'm sure, but it is so hard to do anything in this game.

It's hard to get SSR cards, not only because the Gacha system is hella fucked up, but because it's hard to get enough gems to get pulls. Yeah we've got weekly and the logins, but that's so not enough unless you save for a card months in advance.

When you're a new player they give you some leeway, lots of free stuff because all the easy missions are meant for that, but as you get further and further into the game it's extremely hard to get even a 10 pull unless you're on the game basically 24/7.

As someone who is rank 72- and again, played almost religiously for months- it's hard to enjoy the game.

And I know as the story goes on it's meant to be harder, but because of how little they give you it's hard to get past the story as it goes on. It's hard leveling cards up, especially the spells.

It would be nicer if they gave you more materials or gems, that would make all the grind worth it, but that's not how it is. Hell, even events barely give you any pulls and yet they expect you to spend hours doing lessons to unlock the chapters and leveling up the free cards. Someone who's f2p (in my and my friends experience) will find it hard to get motivation to continue playing.

I want to continue playing, I love the characters and the story, but it's so hard to level up cards, or get pulls, that it breaks my heart and makes me want to not continue because I know I won't ever get that card I want, that I won't be able to get past this chapter, that I won't be able to finish an event fully because of the system.

It's so obvious they don't care about f2p's because reruns and even some event banners are strictly p2p things. Rerun banners require special keys that are pay-walled, event banners like the anime expo ones or special non-event related ones are pay-walled, THEY'RE ALL PAY-WALLED.

To me it is extremely frustrating to know that the developers don't seem to care about the fan base at all.

I mentioned earlier about the Gacha system, which I find really, REALLY dumb. 100 pulls for a guaranteed SSR? 200 needed for the event SSR? That's so dumb! Even if you were p2p you'd have to have some extreme luck to get an event card before at least 70 (which it's hard to get if you're far in game and f2p). In my experience, all the event cards I have that are SSR's (WHICH IS 2 BTW, ive been playing since idia's groom event and only have TWO EVENT CARDS EVEN WITH CONSTANT GRIND) I had to do over 70-80 pulls for and spent weeks grinding for. Not to mention pity doesn't carry over to other banners.

Speaking of events, I swear to god the events are getting shorter and shorter every time. The Stitch event that just passed? I swear it only lasted 3-4 weeks, banners ended way too quickly for any f2p that wasn't saving to pull without extreme luck to get any SSR card, got forbid the event exclusive ones. I got like 25 pulls during that event and 10 of those were because it was Kalim's birthday. It's extremely dumb and next thing you know it events will be lasting only a week or two and you're probably fucked over.

Anyways, that's basically all I have to say. There are a lot of things that frustrate me, like how they do events and some characters stuff, but I can't bother to put it here because I'm not as pressed about that stuff as I am about the stuff I did talk about.

I'm aware that people probably won't read this, but it's nice to get off my chest y'know? I'm going to continue to play the game, but I'll never play as constantly as I did when I first started because it's so hard to play and find motivation for it anymore.

[beesmygod]

hmmm. was olga more "respectable" than maxine, for lack of a better word? we know she was the head of the coven, but would that mean respect from people outside of magic practitioners? or because of the way the world is set, there is not really a sharp divide between people that meddle with magic and spirits and people who dont? im asking bc i find the theme of legacy super interesting when it comes up (do people think that maxine is dragging the gottwin name through the mud? or do they shrug their shoulders bc who gives a damn about what an exterminator does and doesnt do?)

this is a good question and warranted a good answer, sorry for the delay.

there are a couple things at play here:

the position of "town witch"/coven leader was once significantly more prestigious than it is today. what used to be a position as essential as the fire or police chief has been worn away by technological advancements; her position was essentially replaced with extermination as a global business model after the rise of the cheap, electronic anti-ghost devices. maxine inherited a defunct position and failing business.

the divide between those who practice magic and those who don't is, funnily enough, the same as my view on why people make art and others don't: they don't enjoy doing the process. its messy, its complicated, it takes a long time, doesn't have guaranteed results, and it involves dead things in one way or another. sometimes it's just easier to call someone to do the process for you when you can't be bothered to work on your pronunciation of magic words. in this way, a witch is sort of like a plumber or a mural artist. explicitly for hire to do something you don't want to deal with yourself because it might be out of your skill range/take too long to learn the skills. so olga's reputation did suffer a little bit from the irrational public assessment of extermination as a "messy" business.

there's also an unfortunate stain on the gottwin name that maxine inherited long before her grandmother died: her father ran away from home in his teens because he and olga fought viciously and publicly. no one heard anything else about him until he died, and it was a surprise to everyone (including olga) that maxine even existed at all. so the rumor mill started churning: what did olga do that upset her son so badly? by the time olga died, people seemed to understand that the family was cracked beyond repair; behaviors that were more acceptable in the decades before the events of the comic were looked at in hindsight as painful and cruel. and since maxine, public nuisance, was the end result of olga's work it's hard for the public not to lay the blame at her feet.

so, maxine is caught in a sort of weird nostalgic hell where people can simultaneously tut-tut her for not being enough like her grandmother or for being too much like her. lol. this was a ramble but i hope it was interesting. im folding most of this into the comic but a lot of it i just try to keep in my brain when writing and thinking about them both.

ive been thinking more and more about olga as we approach parts where we're be flashing back to maxine's childhood and approach the next (final?) book. "books" are the huge overarching storylines as opposed to individual chapters, so there's still a lot of AGS to go. i want to explore character motivations so much i just need the power and energy to do so again.

[a-whispering-echo]

For the Death's Row AU, any chance we could get a look at exactly what led Killer to ending up on the Row? We got a look at Dust and Horror's, and I can't deny I'm very curious how Killer's looks as well 👀

Your art is super cool and I'm thriving on the story for this au so far! Im glad I stumbled upon it :)

oh absolutely! ive been waiting for someone to ask, hehe!

So, Killer was raised in a a slum/house thing with 12 other people, maybe they were his family, maybe they weren't, who knows. Regardless, one of the other kids in the slum started to pick on him.

They were younger than him, and for a while, Killer just kinda ignored them, assuming it was a little kid just trying to make friends in a shitty way, but, as the years went on, this kid started outright ABUSING him, in horrible, HORRIBLE ways - any way you can think of someone being abused? Yeah, this kid did it. They outright tortured him, for their entire childhood.

Killer went to the police, and tried to report what was happening to him, so many times, and each time, he was laughed at and told to stop wasting their time; a kids picking on you? yeah right, piss off kid.

It gets to the point where this kid forced Killer to watch as they beat someone to a pulp, before they drag Killer over, and tells him to kill them, its in his name, after all! and, they threaten, if they don't, they'll kill him.

anyway, Killer does it. That's his first kill, and miraculously, he doesn't get caught for it.

The abuse goes on an on and on, years and years of gaslighting into believing himself a weapon, and 'peer pressure' on max, until, he snaps and kills his abuser.

he ends up just fucking loosing it after that, with a 'fuck it' attitude, hes gonna get caught anyway, and kills a bunch of people that he believes were complacent in the abuse. he ends up killing 4 people, including the kid, before hes caught.

In court, Killer tries to defend himself, explaining the abuse he suffered for YEARS, and the help he was denied. but the courts found him guilty of murder, after all, his 'abuser' was a minor; he must be lying, and, even if he wasn't, that doesn't change anything.

So, onto death row he goes.

He can be sassy and unserious most of the time, but there's an aura of wrongness to him.

He uses that uses his 'personality' to hide what hes feeling but also when hes snooping for information. His only really motivation is to avoid boredom; hes very much trying to avoid being left alone with himself and his thought, cus that's when he starts to spiral:

He doesn't care that he murdered, and doesn't regret it; in fact he found it thrilling. He REALLY struggles with emotions, finds it hard to feel things deeply, and to recognise WHAT hes feeling, but he doesn't regret it! He doesn't feel... bad about what he did to... to those innocent people... NO! he really doesn't!

He also very much wants power, after so long without any, and being told that he was *supposed* to kill, that was all he was - hes named 'Killer' for god sake!

He just wants to feel alive. Even if, just for.. a little while...

He know to cause physical fights all the time with other inmates, doing to as an outlet for those emotions he definitely doesn't feel, but also as a way to climb to the top. He RUNS the Row! HES the one in charge - hes not, that's Nightmare but shh, let him believe that.

He meets Dust and Horror when they're friends, and, always looking for new prey, decides to pick on them.

hes had a few fights with Dust before now, hes partially the reason Dust is in a straightjacket, and Dust is partly the reason hes in handcuff/chains, but he hasn't seen him about for a little while, and, when he sees him again, his little punching back has attached himself to the biggest motherfucker the joint, little shit. Well, Killer decides he should take them down a peg. Horror is a threat to his dominance here, anyway!

(Horror has no clue who this dude is, other than *trouble*. Hes seen the fights this guy get into, and they're not GOOD)

it starts off with Killer picking on them, teasing in that was that's common in his character, and it looks like Horror is gonna defend Dust, as he is wont to do, except, no one was expecting little Dust, who's top of head only reaches Killers EYES, in his straightjacket, restricting him movement, to fucking roundhouse kick Killer in the neck. His arms may be restrained, but his legs sure aren't!

And Killer... runs off to lick his wounds.

Except, he comes back to ick on them. again, and again and again.

Killer is picking on them the way young boys try and 'flirt' with girls they like; pulling on their pigtails. he thinks they're kinda cool, and is envious of their friendship, and wants IN, thing is, he ain't gonna just TELL them that! hes not gonna sit down and ask 'hey can we be friends?' cus that would make him WEAK, so, he pushes them about as an excuse to get close to them.

About a month after the roundhouse kick incident, Killer comes to pick on them again, with a bandage around his throat despite it DENIFETLY being healed by now, and starts boasting about his kill count; four whole people in a single day! and hes expecting them to look up at him, scared or maybe admiring.

Hes not expecting Dust to look at Horror, make that little smile people make when they're making fun of someone - that 'oh my god this guy' face - and...laughs? Hes giggling like a madman, and even Horror looks amused, when Dust says "Four?!" and Killers like '??? yeah, four whole people, dead cus of me!' which just makes Dust laugh harder.

Dust has recently been made aware of his accidental kill count, and while he still cant get his head around most of it and forgets a lot of it, he knows he killed a dozen in a matter of like, a couple hours, and he knows Horror killed 5 people, cut them up and COOKED them, and FED THEM to starving people!

Four murders is PATHETIC.

Killer tries to reclaim his pride, and is sort of going like 'well, yeah, but uh like-' and Dust just keeps laughing at him, and at that point Killer flushed bright red and.. leaves.

Im gonna stop here, cus ive written A LOT! But, they find Killer int the bathroom :)

(im very gladyou like my art and works! it means the world that i can entertain someone at least for a little while with my stuff, and that fact you take time out of your day to appreciate them and compliment me is just... auugh <3 <3!)

[domoriu]

i have some questions and i was wondering if you could answer them because you’re one of my favorite writers on here. plus you’re stories and vibe are very similar to mine so i’d love to here your POV!

do you have any advice and this on how to start a fanfic writing account? (on tumblr!)

how to make write good as in flow, wording, better sentences, etc? ik for this one it’s going to take practice but since i write a little already i was wondering how to make my writing actually sound good? (because urs is amazing!)

tips on motivation to write and post?

how is it as a writer on onedoorblr? (fics for bonedo) in terms of like the space to be able to post “different” stories. (hybrid, abo, freakysmutlol, femdom, dark as in tragedy’s and horror.) plus interactions, notes/likes?

sorry if this is a lot but i didn’t know who else to ask and you feel like a safer option to me of that makes sense? anyways we all love you and your stories a lot! 🩶 i hope the rest of your week is amazing (*^_^*)

OKAY I HAD TO GET ON MY LAPTOP TO ANSWER THIS ONE SINCE ITS A LOT!! also sorry if my advice is a little weird ive genuienly been in the fanfic scene for like 8 years now since i was 11 so i dont even know the answer to these myself (not my proudest moments btw...) so i'll try to give the best advice i can <3

1. i think... start off by finding a username that you think suits you a lot, and then worry about theme and all that just so your account looks good to your own eyes i think that'll really help with getting motivated to write (for me at least) and also really just have fun with it !! figuring out what you want to do on your page is also important so you can set those boundaries for yourself as well as the people engaging in your content but also always remember its your page so you can really do whatever you please. and dont be too discouraged by numbers because once you feel like its not fun and you're putting too much pressure on yourself it gets hard to make content.

2. for word building/flow all that kind of stuff... really imagine the scenarios in your head (maybe even act them out if you can, to make sure everything is flowing properly) if you're writing smut, what helps me is i look up sex positions or look up porn to get a good idea on the positioning and how to write things out. for word flow, i always have a thesaurus tab open that way i'm not using the same basic words repeatedly (this is probably the most helpful piece of advice imo, i love the thesaurus super bad) and also if you ever feel like the work isn't good or needs a little tweaking id say read it over, try to read it from the pov of someone who's reading your work for the first time or even get someone to beta read for you and give suggestions for any errors or anything that needs a bit of tweaking

3. for motivation, write down the gist of any idea you have down immediately because you might forget it or you'll just never have the motivation to really finish it. i have so many fic ideas locked away in a vault because i started writing the idea when the excitement for it died down or i completely lost motivation to write it because my brain wanted to move onto another fic idea.

write on your own schedule. just because you have a following doesn't mean you need to put out a new fic every single day, give yourself time to recollect your thoughts and work on a piece where you can put all of your attention into so you can be truly proud of your work !! because what's the point of writing something if you yourself don't even like it. and a lot of us have lives outside of tumblr, so don't pressure yourself to constantly write because soon you might get burnt out. i think having people who actually like my works is a lot of motivation as well as not feeling rushed to put things out so its like a little treat when i post something big

4. i love the people on onedoorblr !! the community isn't super big but she's growing a lot since i joined this fandom in april... and id say the range is pretty good with the people on here and everyone has their own unique things going on. i think its a pretty safe space here to write about "different" stuff, a lottt of my mutuals are all on the femdom kick when it comes to bonedo and there's a good balance of smut writers and people who write more fluffy things, i'm not sure how common the abo/hybrid/dark content fics are on onedoorblr since i don't tend to read fics in those categories but i have seen a couple hybrid bnd fics in passing !

since bnd tumblr is still kind of small you might not get a lot of notes upfront but it definitely builds up, unlike nct/enha/riize tumblr where you can basically get around 500/1k+ notes on a post within a couple days it might take a week or two also depending on who you write about. but don't get discouraged by it !! some members are just more popular in the fanfic world than others

i hope this was helpful and dont be afraid to ask any more questions >_< thank you soso much for liking my works and im glad u feel like my page is a safe space for questions that means a lot to me !! i hope your week is amazing as well <33

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 1: To The Next Season

Ibuki: Hmm… Something’s not right.

Ibuki: What about this angle… Hmm.

Ibuki: (I can’t really decide… I wonder if I can find some inspiration somewhere.)

Ibuki:  …

Ibuki: (Even TikTak has been full of promo videos for theater companies lately.)

Ibuki: Ah, “Get To Know MANKAI Company”?

Ibuki: (MANKAI Company, eh…)

Iv has entered the chat momo: eugh… i probably messed up… Iv: wassup? momo: no… i just got a little carried away… ig Kar: idgi shiki: you’re always free to tell us if something’s bothering you

-

Sakuya in the video: “Thank you very much!”

Masumi in the video: “Thank you very much.”

-

Muku: *dreamy sigh* … The RomiJuli sequel was so good.

Tenma: Thinking back to your debut really does make one emotional.

Kumon: It’s so awesome how you can tell how much they’ve grown as they play the same role!

Yuki: It’s like their growth as actors is linked to their characters’ personal growth.

Kazunari: Pretty much. It’s like there’s some synergy going on~

Misumi: I can’t wait for our “Water Me!” sequel~

Muku: Me neither! I wonder what kind of story it’ll be?

Tenma: We have to show that we’ve grown just as much as the Spring Troupe has

Muku: … Huh?

Izumi: What’s wrong?

Muku: The boy in the audience in this video… Isn’t he Masumi-kun’s fan?

Izumi: Ah, you’re right. That’s Towa-kun.

Tenma: Is that the fan that came to talk to Tsuzuru-san the other day?

Izumi: Yeah.

Muku: So he managed to get a ticket for the first day. I’m glad.

Izumi: He said it’d be his first time watching a performance in a theater, he must’ve been very emotional.

Izumi: (If anything, he was a little too emotional. I’d have never expected him to say what he did…)

[Flashback starts]

Towa: … Tsuzuru Minagi-sensei!! I want you to write a script for my troupe!! Please!!

Tsuzuru: Eh? … EHHHH!?

Tsuzuru: You want me to write a script?

Towa: Yes!

Sakuya: That’s amazing! Have you created a troupe?

Towa: Um, I plan to start creating it from now on…

Izumi: Have you gathered members?

Towa: N-No… I plan to start doing that.

Masumi: In other words, it’s just you right now.

Towa: But I… want to create a troupe just like MANKAI Company!

Towa: When I participated in the Spring Troupe's workshop, I learned a little about how plays are created, and what it feels like to stand on stage...

Towa: And I became more interested in theater.

Towa: And then, when I actually watched the Spring Troupe’s performance in a theater, I was moved in a way I’ve never been before.

Towa: Thanks to the hard work of many people, the play takes on a real form on top of the stage, and the actors truly shine…

Towa: It made me think that I want to stand on that stage as well. I want to try shining the way everyone does…

Towa: This may be too simple, and my way of thinking might be naive, but…

Towa: I feel like fate brought me here, to find what I want to do, and to discover theater!

Tsuzuru: … I see. Fate, huh?

Towa: I’m sorry, this probably seems really stupid to you…

Izumi: Not at all.

Tsuzuru: I’ve also felt this way, so I get it.

Sakuya: I also felt that way when I first experienced theater.

Citron: We totally understand Towa’s feels~!

Izumi: Moments like that do happen. I believe that if you feel like you’re destined to act, then that means you have the talent for it.

Tsuzuru: I understand your motivation, and I’d love to cooperate with you. But when you’re the only member in the troupe…

Tsuzuru: Performing a one-person act as a beginner is pretty difficult, so I’d rather your troupe has at least 4 members.

Towa: I need 3 more…

Towa: … I understand! I’ll find them!

Tsuzuru: Alright. I’ll be waiting.

Izumi: Do your best.

Sakuya: We’ll be cheering for you!

Towa: Thank you very much!

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: (I do wonder how things are going with Towa-kun’s company, but I have to prioritize the Summer Troupe’s performance.)

Izumi: (Our ranking may have improved, but we’re still far from the Fleur Award…)

Izumi: (The new companies are all rapidly gaining momentum, so we need to keep our guard up as we move to 2Q…)

previous episode (act 13) | masterpost | next episode

[roseworth]

forgot to actually say this in the ask but the idea of jason being his favorite for a time but specifically when he's dead... yeah. spending time away from fanon jason stans really does make you love him more because that would not have made me feel anything a while ago but that's so good. and makes so much sense but is very sad.

of course bruce was unable to stop thinking about jason when he was gone! and of course that love would be entirely unrecognizable to jason when he comes back! jason was isolated even alive! and besides their differing--viewpoints, jason has changed from the child that spent so much time mourning, and is doing things that bruce would find hard to see from anyone, and they're always standing opposite each other anyway so how could bruce, never very gifted in the emotions department in the first place, ever communicate how much jason means to him with all of that? and also there's the part where jason IS going around and murdering people, it would probably be a little hard for anyone to forgive of their kid, let alone bruce.

i'm probably getting mind of incoherent but i just. it is so very clear that bruce and jason care about each other, and it doesn't help their relationship at all because they're stuck like this forever. i LOVE when relationships are like this, ships for example where they never get together but they're in love forever are the best kind, and i always wish more people were just obsessed with that kind of. - emotional stranding? - in other kinds of relationships. maybe i'm looking in the wrong places and that's why i'm not finding other people who like this idk

but that's what makes me so obsessed with bruce, he's not even my favorite character but basically every single one of his important relationships is stuck like this. his kids his wife (talia❤️) his dad. he has an entirely different type of crazy with every single one of those people but the main thing those relationships have in common is that they encourage a lot of growth in each other at the beginning, and then life gets in the way or they grow past each other or miscommunicate themselves out of their former closeness. sorry to ramble at you for so long but what you said about jason and bruce turned me into an animal. i've been a sleeper agent this whole time apparently. stuck trying to think about his individual relationships with his other children now, all at the same time. you did this to me

(original post) hi im so sorry i know i said i would answer this like a week ago but i Forgot. but im here now <3

first of all HARD agree with what you said about loving relationships where both of them care about each other but cant make anything work despite it. its all about the love being there but it doesnt change anything and the way two people care about each other deeply and it changes everything about the dynamic but nothing about the circumstances. its so so good. youre so right that bruce is such a good character for this dynamic because his core beliefs and motivations are so important to him as a character that if he eases up on them even a little he becomes a completely different person, and it means that every relationship he has is strained because he cant waver on the beliefs that make him who he is

anyways. i want to talk about why i believe jason was the favorite child after he died but first i want to talk about dick. to me dick is and always will be bruce's favorite son. but not in a good way

ive heard some people say that jason was the favorite son while he was robin and thats a fine headcanon but i simply do not agree! i understand where people are coming from since bruce & dick had a very strained relationship at that time, meanwhile jason was just a happy and polite kid who liked being robin and didnt have many issues until starlin. but bruce & dick have such a specific relationship that even when they werent talking, dick was still bruce's favorite. bruce held dick in such high regard in his head that jason could never meet the standard, even though bruce rarely (outwardly) compared the two of them. bruce was projecting so much onto dick (in a way that he did to cass later on, which ill get back to in a sec) that jason could never meet the version of dick that existed in bruce's head. even the real dick instead of the idealized dick that bruce had made was better than jason to bruce because bruce had completely adopted the "my son's success is my success" mindset (which isnt necessarily a bad thing! in this case i would say that this is one of bruce's parenting wins) so he was proud of dick and watched him grow into what bruce was hoping he would (a successful, independent hero) even though they werent talking

not to mention! bruce explicitly tells dick that he brought in jason to fill the hole in his life left by dick (the dick hole. hehe) i dont like the idea that jason was constantly being compared to dick because thats not entirely true because bruce rarely openly brought up dick around jason, but he definitely was doing it in his head. he wanted jason to be dick, but he wasnt the Evil Father that some people try to make him out to be. he just adopted jason to have someone in his life like dick was, and he wanted jason to be what dick was to him even though he couldnt replicate the relationship he had with dick because it was so dependent on where each of them were in their lives when they met and became Batman and Robin. and bruce confirms that in batman #416 that he adopted jason because he missed dick and needed someone else in his life

anyways back to jason. i do believe that jason was briefly the favorite while he was dead. i love this post saying that one of bruce's favorite children is jason's corpse because its so fucking real

im gonna get off topic for a second but i swear i have a point. in the play buried child by sam shepard, the mom (halie) constantly talks about her dead son ansel and talks about how he was an american hero, an athlete, and many other amazing things. hes the representation of the american dream in the play, but hes dead, showing the disillusionment of the family. but halie is constantly bringing him up and shes convinced that he was the perfect son and he would've made her proud, unlike her other sons who disappointed her. and her sons keep trying to correct her about who ansel was because she would get things wrong, like how shes convinced ansel played basketball even though he never did, but she refused to listen because he was the Golden Child in her mind and she had a perfect image of him when she looked back on his life, because he was dead and now had never disappointed her

now. you can probably see where im going with this. bruce wasnt as bad as halie but i do think that the idea is the same. since jason was dead, it was a lot easier to think about all the good things and imagine how good it could've been if jason was there. even the "he wouldnt listen" line in that screenshot ^ is the same idea! if the dead son had only listened to his parent's warning, he would still be alive and it would be fine! its a lot easier for bruce to think about jason when he's dead because jason cant disappoint him when hes dead. and he doesnt have to worry about the things that bruce doesnt like to do, such as deal with emotions, and can just create this perfect version of robin jason where he was happy and a great hero and there were never and never could be any issues! if only he had listened!

if im being honest theres a lot of canon evidence against this theory. but canon evidence is stupid and im better than that! kidding but the thing is that there was so much difference in how bruce talked about jason every time he was brought up that its hard to exactly pinpoint how anyone felt, so i am simply cherrypicking canon to create my favorite narrative <3

bruce thinks of jason as what he could've been because he only exists in good memories and a glass case when hes dead, and bruce genuinely does not want jason to come back to life. every time jason "came back" before under the red hood, bruce was upset about it. he wanted jason to stay dead because he wanted jason to be able to rest. but also? bruce would rather jason be dead than come back as a villain. he would rather jason live in his memories as the perfect son than be alive and fighting against him. in batman #618, clayface pretends to be jason and bruce is (somewhat) thankful that its not actually jason, because he would rather jason stay dead than be hush

so its safe to say jason very quickly stops being the favorite when he actually comes back to life. i could still believe that jason's corpse is one of bruce's favorites even after jason is alive because bruce still brings up jason's death and how it affected him, and he mourns what he used to have with jason before jason had his own morals and motivations

anyways. cass time <3

like you said in your original ask, a lot of people say that cass is bruce's favorite but its a lot more complicated than that because especially at first, bruce sees her as less of a daughter than an extension of himself but in a different way than dick. when bruce looks at dick, hes kind of like a batman appendage. they are different people and bruce understands that and usually nurtures that to help dick. with cass on the other hand, he sees cass almost as a carbon copy of him so he gives her what he would've wanted at her age and treats her the way that he wanted to be treated. technically hes right that she also wants to be treated like that, but as we see over and over again in batgirl 2000, just because she wants it doesnt mean its good for her. hes not nurturing her as a daughter, hes nurturing her as a smaller version of himself. and again like you said in your ask, cass is too similar to him. they dont really get into fights because of it, but i think he hates himself too much to love cass that much

and the thing is. bruce has an idea of cass in his head that isnt real. he sees her as himself and whenever he hears something that could change that image, he pretends its not real. he refuses to believe that cass killed someone because HE wouldnt kill someone, so obviously cass didnt either. she cant possibly like being outside or talking to people because HE doesnt like that, and theyre the same person so babs must be forcing her to (which.. im not talking about babs and cass right now so i wont go into it but like. yeah she is). he created what he thinks cass is and what he thinks she should be, so anything that threatens that isnt real to him. if (*IF*) cass is the favorite child, its not actually cass. its the version of cass that he wishes was real (a lot like the version of jason's corpse that he wishes was real)

i love this panel from detective comics #790 because first of all its funny to me that bruce immediately tells cass to go to babs with any emotion or problem. but also it says so much about their relationship. bruce isnt there to be cass's father, he's there to be batman to her. hes not exactly neglecting her, but he definitely is not emotionally there for her (not that hes emotionally there for anyone else. but he certainly has no interest in listening to cass's feelings)

as time goes on he starts seeing her as a daughter and she sees him as a father, but even after he starts seeing her as a child she's still not his favorite. like i talked about before, bruce & dick just have such an intricate and specific relationship that no one can ever meet the same standard. even when bruce loves cass as a daughter, he's always going to care more about dick because seeing dick go through the same trauma as him then raising him to be different than him (but the same in the ways that matter to him) means so much more to him than anything he has with his other kids

so yeah. in conclusion dick is the favorite child but sometimes the ghost of jason or the projected version of cass can beat dick depending on his mood

[acti-veg]

I’ve been vegan since before I met my partner, and he’s been a bug and reptile enthusiast since before he met me.

He REALLY wants to buy something. Tarantulas, snakes, cockroaches, fish. He has bought bugs and reptiles from breeders in the past but we currently have nothing but my childhood cat, and feeding him is emotionally taxing enough. Every time he asks i say I’m unsure, i need to do more research. I dont want to debate him on anything but he is insistent that breeders are vital for species conservation.

Ive come to the conclusion absolutely no carnivorous pets, no reptile breeders. A reptile is relatively easy to find as a rescue where I live and I think animal rescue is one of the most vegan things you can do. But what about bugs? Can you rescue a bug? I still feel very wrong about buying and breeding them and keeping them in a tank like little decorations. We have a couple snails in a jar that hitched a ride on some apples we harvested and I feel real terrible about not just letting them go. I feel at a loss, bugs and reptiles are his passion and i dont want to take that away from him but I dont know if he’ll ever see them the way I do. I grew up watching my reptiles suffer in poor conditions because my mom looked at them like toys, i used to beg my sister to release her buckets full of hundreds grasshoppers dying all over each other and be told no, shes “learning” about them. The thought of being back in a home surrounded by miserable animals makes me feel sick.

I used to be deeply involved in this world when I was younger, and none of it is about conservation. Most reptile and exotic enthusiasts more generally are little more than collectors, and the live trade of endangered animals in particularly is inextricably linked to poachers and wild caught species. That’s how they get here in the first place.

There is really no way to argue that breeders who sell exotic animals to the public are essential for species conservation�� Most actual conservationists would point out how the exact opposite is true, given the problem of wild-caught exotics, and the problem of feral populations establishing themselves extremely quickly in many places, and they’re very hard to dislodge once they get a foothold, as Florida has found with many reptiles and arachnids. He wants to acquire an exotic animal because he likes them, which is fine, but he can’t really pretend he’s doing it to support conservation.

You can adopt these animals, including arachnids but they’re far less commonly available. They are generally sold, because the exotic pet trade is alive and well, and quite profitable for breeders. Why give away an exotic animal when you can sell them? Regardless, the point of doing that should be to save an animal who won’t otherwise get adopted, not to acquire an exotic animal, which is too often the motivation.

I also found people massively underestimate just how much space these animals should have, the 3x4 vivariums most are kept in are just miserable for them, and they need a lot of stimulation and attention. You’d need the space for it, the money to feed them a high quality diet, all the equipment, he’d need to find a herbivorous animal up for adoption, and be able to guarantee he has the time to give them what they need. If he can do all that and you’d still not be comfortable, then your vote matters on this as much as his does, since you’re also going to have to live there.

I do want to emphasise though, that not wanting to share your home with exotic animals is not taking away his passion, and you shouldn’t feel pressured. I’m passionate about reptiles too, it’s just that now that I’m older I know that I don’t need to own any to do that. He may have to learn the same lesson too, if you’re really not comfortable with it.

Regardless, I think that he needs to be the one to do the research and show it to you, he needs to tell you what this would actually look like, show you adoptable animals, tell you where in the house they’d live, how the set up would be, how he’d feed them, what species, how many etc. You can’t really make an informed decision on that and come to a compromise without that information.

[radiovisual]

are you going to come back?

((I keep telling myself im going to, but im not sure. Im especially unhappy with how this blog was written and how it looks at the moment, bc theres a lot of things id Want to change before getting back into rp here, but I have no energy or motivation to do so 😔 my art block from last year is Still ongoing, im still deeply fixated on other fandoms, and VERY recently I had an epiphany of some kind and haven't been able to stop paying attention to the news, bc anxieties about what's happening in Gaza/the West Bank, Sudan, and Chile, and not to mention this next American presidential election, have me reassessing my priorities in life, ykwim?))

((Im still around technically, i wont be deleting this blog or anything, im just in kind of a tough spot, mentally+emotionally+physically, and that makes it hard to get reinvested in something like this.))

((There's also the factor of... feeling rather restricted in this community. It's not any particular person or group of ppls fault, people are entitled to feel however they want around fictional subjects and themes, but i know that the types of things that i like to write and rp are dark and mature, and this fandom [despite the Nature of the show itself and the topics it covers] tends to attract a lot of very aggressive, very judgemental people -- as im sure youre all aware 😂 i found some friends here, but even still, a lot of the time i know i Can't get into the kind of stuff i ACTUALLY want to write, because most of the ppl in this community would [at least, way back when,] assume that That kind of writing means I'm a bad, dangerous person who wants to engage with those themes in real life 🙃. Which isn't to say anyone is Wrong for avoiding me if darker themes trigger them, by all means PLEASE block me for your sanity if thats what you have to do!! but when most all of those Exact Themes are LITERALLY, graphically present in the show, now, it's like. Idk man whats going on! Why are you here! if sexually abusive relationships bother these fans so much, then Why are they in THIS fandom of all places instead of somewhere tangibly Safer for their sanity, yk???))

(( i don't know. Maybe im just a brat, but ive always felt a little put out by the Hazbin community online. Its extremely self policing and isolating trying to find people i can feel comfortable talk to about my ideas, so ive kind of... given up and moved on, found a nice group of Freaks to be perverted about the Avatar sequel instead lmao))

((So... idk. I guess we'll see. But im very sorry it may have been wishful thinking when i said id come back. I really, truly meant it at the time -- things just changed 💔, both in me And in the community. And maybe theyll change again, idk!but i Do know there's people in this overarching Hazbin Tumblr RP community who don't like me very much (which is Okay), and I don't want to force myself to walk on eggshells anymore -- so I'm won't💪😎))

((I adored my time here while i was active, whuch it why i wont delete it -- i go back to re read threads all the time! -- but unless there's a group of sexual weirdos developing that i could fall in with AND I can find a way to balance this with the rest of my life, im still gonna be on this indefinite hiatus 💀👍 sorry))

((Btw -- Palestinians are in desperate need of e-SIMs to keep in touch with their loved ones and to organize humanitarian aid within the Gaza strip itself -- if any of you have a few spare dollars, please consider getting involved. I know the news is very quiet rn, especially if you're in America like me, but let me make this very clear; We are. kind of sort of Already IN World War Three. Russia and China and the global south are finally starting to hold the west accountable and the west is failing a shitting its pants about it Spectacularly. The world order is literally shifting. There's not one, but SEVERAL major international conflicts brewing right now, as America is sliding into fascism at break neck speed bc Genocide Joe is finally realizing he's probably not going to get re-elected [on account of all the genocide] on TOP of finally seeing the tangible effects of climate change. South America and Australia are on FIRE. Like NEVER before.))

((Never Again is Now. We could be going over the temperature "tipping point" of the planet BY 2030. now is NOT the time to be wallowing in escapism, no matter how much we desperately need/want it. If there is EVER a time to get involved with the real world and to take a step back from the internet and high stress fandom bullshit, it is NOW. No matter what Side of these issues you stand on, EVERYONE needs to be voting, everyone needs to be paying attention.))

(( if you can't afford esims [no shame, i often can't either, money is tight everywhere], then at the very least get This website open in your tabs. It generates revenue with free Daily clicks, the proceeds of which are all sent to UN organizations -- particularly UNRWA, which is VITAL to maintain not only getting aid INTO Gaza, but also retaining Palestinians legal right to return to their land -- without UNRWA, Isreal can begin to LEGALLY, haphazardly "deport" Palestinians, which would take YEARS to reverse through future court proceedings. Do your part, it only takes a few seconds a day 💪🌱))

((Alright, thats all! Sorry if you wanted a short sweet answer, but ive actually been ruminating on all of this, so thank you for this ask, for giving me a chance to talk about it all. Im happy to see this community thriving in the wake of Season 1, even if im not joining in myself -- you all keep up the great work, and keep having fun with it ❤ let it empower you to explore the value of Charlie's message and think of ways to impliment it in your daily life And on the world at large‼))

[fluffyseal322]

Wed Oct 2

Therapy. Breath work; identity; ADHD bubble

words learned during this entry(an item written in a diary): entry , disincline , agape —read after the highlighted word for the definition

[NOTE: i tried breathwork before writing for the very first time and i feel as if I was able to write better] Just got out of therapy... Jackie wants me to practice breath work once a day and at least 5 breaths. [count how long it takes to breath in then breath out for one second longer.] This week ive been noticing myself really stressed. I've recognized that i fell into this unconscious state of mind called an ADHD bubble. #Note, it is not always bad this could just mean that I'm in the zone but there are other experiences to this as said here: It feels as if I lost touch of reality long periods of time if its not right before my eyes. I feel as if I need a mindful moment and to feel and remember everything outside of the bubble. I feel stuck. I get extremely stressed, drained but not tired, and then exhausted... My therapist thinks its a protective state but I'm not entirely sure yet, i'm sure that's something I will come to know in the near future, like where this part of me comes from.

My last therapy session she wanted me to find my identity and I told her i've discovered a new crush. :3 She knows about Azrael. She says its a good idea that i'm getting motivation from him to be a better version of myself. She agrees in a sense of him being busy is forcing me to learn to have patience and be okay with being in the presence of myself. I'm learning to find myself without the company of a man. Ive also told her I've looked into finding an aquarium job! :3 eheheheh!!! I love marine life way too much :3 heheh !! I told her that my dream is to be a scuba diver! I've been going to the gym and I'd like to train my body to be scuba diver ready! Azrael once told me god will put you in a situation in which you have to prove you are worthy of it. So now that is how I look at life through most of anything that I think is hard. If it is an opportunity given to me, I shouldn't turn it down and be reluctant {unwilling to try} to the offer just because it seems difficult. I see it as a significant path given to me. I adore how wise Azrael is. Oh! I also told my therapist about my little blessing of a girl ive met :3 God has given me a soul sister and I will offer her agape {the highest for of Christianly love} for as long as she accepts it. I'm extremely grateful of her and that i've met her soul and she's met mine. My therapist says sometimes we are given soul sisters and soul brothers that we connect very well with and we may or may not keep them forever but they are like a mentor in that current moment. I should keep that in mind, as sad as it would be to fade away from someone I love very much, it will all be okay.

So until my next therapy session, I will focus on breath work and continue discovering my identity without a presence of a man! I have been doing and feeling amazing about life lately. I thank god everyday and I haven't given up. I prayed for strength and protection and that is what i've gotten. I'm extremely grateful. Signing off on my laptop...

p.s. I want to give all my electronics names :3 it would be super cute to say to my laptop as im signing out "see you later, (laptop name)" eheheh!!!

[faerunsbest]

I was tagged by @kimberbohwrites

When did you start writing?

Middle school? I cant pinpoint a time but thats about the tim i started going comics and scribbling down story ideas and plots

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Yes i love horror and monsters and i love when the monster isnt the villain maybe its not the hero but its not what you should be fighting. I love the concept of love starting from respect and honesty. So far I actually have big long stories that result in romance that cannot become sexual., i don't think that romance is inherently sexual for all people or that it is the spine of romance. I think for some people it can be a huge bonding experience and for some its just revolting. I just want to write romance that has layers and feels tangible. I also want to write about bonds beyond romance. I think platonic love is also vital

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? 

Ive not been around the shop long enough to be compared to anyone i don’t think but if I could emulate anyone, it would be Brom. I read that book krampus and half a page in I had to close it and just stare at the ceiling because it hit too hard. He's a huge inspiration because he's both artist and writer. And I feel like that's just outstanding. How can you professionally be both?!

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

Um? Its wherever I can pull out my phone. lol I can be anything or nothing. Sometimes I want a million page notebook, sometimes its the busted part of a pencil and half a napkin. 

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

?????????please help i have no clue here

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you? 

Rage

I underestimate the volume of rage a person I made can have but what I never understand until after the fact is how they handle that rafe that feeling. Do they tamp it down or let it take the lead? The other one is literally romance

On a personal level I feel like I offend myself because I'd rather eat vomit than risk romance but writing it is a whole separate beast. There's just so much that can be done and should be done for these relations and bonds and it can be thrilling!

What is your reason for writing?

If i dont write ill die i dont know how else to explain this. Theres just so much that needs to be said and all these journeys my mind went on without me 

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating? 

I love the one with explanation as to why they did or did not like what ive done, clarity without cruelty is wonderful to me

Explaining that you thought things were good or bad because one thing another mean a lot they're so useful. Also on that same page i love those unreasonable comments that make no sense because someone was just having so many feelings

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I dunno its just kinda neat of you think of me at all !

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? 

Dialogue, i love listening to characters talk and i feel like it shows. I used to focus a lot on the setting but that rather faded

How do you feel about your own writing?

Depends on the day if im honest. Sometimes i think im amazing sometimes i'm astonished with hope clunky and poor my skills are sometimes i just don't care

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write 

purely for yourself, or a mix of both? 

You cant tell me you write and never imagine what it might be like if someone 

discovered you and LOVED what you did. I do what i want and hope for the best. My favorite part is the interaction which is why rp is great it feels like a lovely skill sharpening challenge but also it kind of eats my brain. 

I really and with all my heart love writing and i love when other people love it too

---

am drank forgive any fuckery

[gatheryepower]

one piece liveblog - fishman island, punk hazard, and dressrosa

i should log some of my more recent thoughts on one piece over here because ive had a lot lately.

currently, my favourite characters are usopp, franky, law, and robin. since his return in punk hazard ive been really enjoying law, i see why he's so popular!

to be honest, i really didnt care for the fishman island saga like i thought i would. i was really excited to get to it, but i really didnt find it that engaging. i didnt care for the villains at all to be honest. even with their backstory. fisher tiger and jinbe are awesome, no doubt about it, but i honestly don't even remember the villain of fishman island's name. i just found them all kinda grating, except the cuttlefish guy, he was really funny.

punk hazard felt like a sort of return to what i enjoy most about one piece. i think my major issue with fishman island is that most of the crew barely felt like they did anything, or had much of importance to contribute to the arc. it was also lacking a kind of whimsy that i admire a lot about one piece, in a way that's hard to describe. i guess i find the whole fishman human conflict kind of contrived, or something about the set-up of the queen's backstory ticked me off in some way. it just didn't feel very compelling and i found it a little silly in a way that definitely wasn't intended by oda.

anyways, i was watching some old vods by RTVS and they mentioned onepace at some point, so i started using that at the end of fishman saga and have been sticking with it through dressrosa.

punk hazard and ESPECIALLY dressrosa have been great for like, character autonomy. they've all got their own motivations and are working together or separating based on them in really interesting ways. i've really enjoyed franky in this arc so far, with his conviction to the dwarves & helping the army to fight doflamingo. rebecca and the tin soldier are really compelling to me as well, although i really don't like rebecca's outfit.

some of the new characters that've been introduced i've really come around to as well! iwas a little dubious on bartolomeo and cavendish, but i've really turned aroudn on them -- especially bartolomeo. he's a really fun character with an awesome design, personality, and powers. the tin soldier is also a highlight, i love the way he fights and moves around. the lore with the toys on dressrosa is sooooo fucked up, especially what happened to the previous king... i was like. Jesus Christ lmao.

dressrosa's arc really captured my imagination so far, which is why i decided to have my first one piece OCs hail from there. love the spanish influence.

hell, i've even been enjoiying sanji again! i found him so deeply insufferable during fishman island and it was honestly really frustrating to watch him most of the time because of it. but it has been kind of getting better, or his love of women is being used in more constructive ways instead of driving the plot to a standstill and getting in the way. i actually find him and viola's dynamic pretty fun and interesting.

back to punk hazard, i want to say that i found the "fight" with zoro, monet, and tashigi a massive letdown and honestly frustrating. using zoro in this role of "i wont fight you because youre a girl" was aggravatingly OOC not just internally, but like, externally in oda's use of zoro in the past. that fight between monet and tashigi deserved to be much more compelling than it was, and i do think it's fine that zoro considered them beneath him internally, like thinking of him as a person, but oda is the one who put these women in these positions, made them react and interact with zoro in this way. it was pretty annoying.

anyways, i'm absolutely LOVING dressrosa so far. all the whimsy is back. the character-driven decisions & interactions are in full force and with all the charm i've come to love from one piece. it's a really deeply enjoyable arc and although i haven't finished it, it's definitely going to rank high among my favourites

[ebtks-reviews]

The Descent (2005)

(yay my first horror movie review! Expect alot of these lol)

Spoiler sink! Spoilers ahead for The Descent and (technically) The Descent 2.

So this was definitely not my first horror movie or media that I've interacted with that took place primarily in caves and primarily with both hallucinatory and crave creature elements. (Looking at you until dawn and house of ashes) But, for what it was, I quite enjoyed this movie.

Let start off with our plot, the idea isn't too bad on its own: cave creatures in Appalachia that live off animals and climbers. Seen this before. I appreciate the movie for giving our protagonist Sarah plenty of motivation and baggage pretty much off the jump and, although I had the twist and many of the big awesome jumpscares ruined for me, it was very fun to watch my partner react fresh. The first two kills were awesome, definitely not the same in strength as something like the infamous first scene of zombieland saga, but definitely along those veins. Very sudden and realistic car crash kills are always loved in my book. Having the guts to kill a kid (in a non-snuffy way) in the first 20 mins of the movie was taking a chance but definitely not one I think they failed.

The following scene with Sarah finding out first with a dream/hallucination fake out then the real thing felt a little out of place but I think worked by using the suffocating and monotonous halls of the hospital and the lights going out with Sara barely escaping a good foreshadowing of her future cave endeavors. I just wish Shauna Carter (Sarah's actress) would have put a little more energy into Sarah's break down upon realizing the loss of her family. The cries didn't feel like a world-shattering moment of the violent and sudden deaths of the two closest people to her as much as losing a distant family member you knew and loved but hadn't seen in a long time. Ive heard cries of anguish in many a media and this one... Idk just didn't feel spicy enough. It didn't jerk tears out of my cold dead heart like many cries have. It wasn't comically bad but it certainly barely reached "good enough?" Territory.

We jump ahead a year later and she's on a trip with her friends, mostly friends of Juno but she does know some of them. Here's where we kinda arrive at my first criticism of the descent: every girl other than Holly, Juno and Sarah are one or two personality traits and quiet while also having barely distinguishable appearances. Part of this could be that this movie is actually quite dark and although I won't say the darkness of it is too much and ruins the movie, it's very hard to tell which vague white girl in a headlamp I'm looking at. Very few times could I definitely tell who I was looking at and neither could my partner. This resulted in me nicknaming the girls outside of holly, Juno and Sarah and even then, I had to look up their actual scripted names while writing this cause I couldn't really remember them. I remembered them as Sunday school teacher ( Beth)(because she looked like my Sunday school teacher), Older sister ( Rebecca) and Doctor/Younger sister( Sam). I also distinctly remember Juno calling out for a girl named Grace after the big main attack from the crawlers but couldn't find any mention of a girl named Grace. I am going crazy like they did apparently??

Because these characters are vaguely personalized and the way they look in the caves is so indistinguishable and dark, this results in me, half the time, not knowing who I'm looking at. I kind of wish they would of taken the effect bodies bodies bodies did by having each character be more than a one dimensional personality lit by things other than all just wearing headlamps and having that light source be a mild representation of their individual personalities. Anything really to make the girls more identifiable would of been awesome. This dose detract from the movie for me abit. Do I care about all the girls? Yes but Rebecca and Sarah look the same to me and I thought Beth was a brunette for most of the movie( maybe this is who I thought the mythical grace was??). They all look the same in a dark cave outside of our alt queen holly, cheater Juno and the bright blue jacket of our protagonist.

While learning about this movie, I learned they built multiple cave pieces and simply rearranged them to give the appearance of a new cave system. This was genius and very few times in the movie, if any, did I specifically notice a reused set piece. Maybe it's a personal issue but I didn't like that the movie never took the opportunity to give us any idea about the space the girls were in. Maybe it was to add to the special confusion or due to the lack of a map but I would of loved some more sweeping cave shots or anything to establish just a few more wider areas they were in. The audience didn't know where any areas were in relation to other areas so the whole thing felt like a blind person in a maze. Interesting but ultimately makes the audience give up on understanding the space the characters are in which can lead to it, like me, no longer caring if our characters are picking the right or wrong direction.

Part of the issue is based in the fact that although I wanted all the girls to survive, because Rebecca, Beth and Sam are all basically nothing characters with no establishment of personality or emotional investment, you don't feel sad when they die. They, like many many slasher victims before them, feel like meat bags there to increase party size and increase body counts and Rebecca's and Sam's deaths(especially Rebecca's) just feel kills to add the run time and tie up a loose end. Holly's death is brutal and befits the awesome character she was, Beth's was an incident of accident then purposement to show that Juno's ego and fear of looking lesser can end fatally and Sam's was just awesome and one I've never seen before. The brutality of her death in trying to kill something she knows just killed her just to save her friends. The image of a climber just hanging by their ropes with a slit throat in the middle of a cavern is an awesome image. Rebecca just got yanked back and eviscerated mostly off screen. Pretty boring tbh.

Now we get to address the titular moment of Juno accidentally stabbing Beth. I loved this moment. Juno's frozen response, Beth's cries for Juno not to leave her, Juno ultimately choosing to save her own life by running away and lieing about it. However, ultimately, I didn't really... Hit for me. This is supposed to show a "darkening of Juno's soul" and supposed to take the fact she was cheating with Paul, Sarah's husband, and really hammer home that Juno is a shitty person. However, it's as if the story completely forgot that Beth's stabbing was an accident. She didn't intentionally stab Beth, she thought Beth was a crawler. Should she of lied about stabbing her? No but in that situation, where people are so freaked out and scared they could make stupid split second decisions? I would lie about involuntary manslaughter too. It seems the story agrees with me but is more angry with Juno for leaving Beth to die alone. However, again, the story forgets itself and ignores the fact that Juno literally hears crawlers around them, is watching her friend presumably bleed out (and beth should have died there realistically. There's no way Beth would of had enough life to later speak, with an entire hole in her neck, to sarah) and just fought a crawler in very intense hand to hand combat. Would I wanna be there for a friend? Yep. But I'm not gonna die trying to stay by your side in your final moments. I would of ran too.

And yet, Juno is later ATTACKED for doing that. Choosing to save her own life and not play sentimentals to a dieing person who can't speak and get ripped apart and eaten by vicious little rabid falmers bought off wish. Juno is a shitty person, not only for putting them in this situation but also for cheating with a friend's husband. But the whole friend group is also shitty cause they all literally knew she was before Paul died and after and still didn't tell Sarah. Rebecca litterally makes a comment, staring at Juno, saying they all lost something in that crash. None of them thought to tell Sarah! Not until they were litterally dieing or unable to! Juno did not deserve to get an ice axe in her leg and abandoned for the crime of... Abandoning a dead friend instead of dieing beside her needlessly. Not the cheating. Not the involuntary manslaughter. The abandonment. Of a dead person. Huh????

Of course I have to talk about Sarah's transformation from crying, scared and scarred protagonist to badass Carrie looking motherfucker. Dose she look awesome? Yuh but NGL I don't feel like it's fully earned. She did almost nothing this whole movie till the very end when she had that chat with Beth and kicked the ass of like 3 crawlers max. Badass? Yes but if this had come just 20 minutes sooner in the movie, I would of been just a bit more behind it. Small improvement. No matter, the ending with her rising out of a bloody puddle, the climb up the bone ramp and emerging above ground with a labored and emotional gasp were amazing. Good cinematography, good lighting, amazing depth and I deeply enjoyed it. It felt earned.

Small splinter to talk about the general environment and the crawlers before I end this, as someone from Appalachia, I did enjoy this movie's portrayal of it appearance wise. It was gorgeous and I felt like it definitely captured the woodsy areas of it well. It definitely felt like it was missing our giant hills and mountains though and looked like it was more filmed at the foot hills around Virginia rather than deep central Appalachia. You can also tell this wasn't made by an Appalachian because Appalachia covers over 737,000 miles of land, 15 states and gose everywhere from maine to Alabama to Tennessee to Ohio. It covers most of the eastern seaboard of the US. Just pick a state please cause this is so much land. It also suffers from grungy-movie-made-in-the-earily-2000s in that everything is blue and looks like twilight. Gloomy and dead. Regardless,I did enjoy the look of the movie and the realistic appearance it attempted. The caves were ok. Many times I could tell they weren't real and they were made to be moved around but for what they were attempting, I could fool myself for it's run time. The crawlers, being primarily practical, looked good enough. You can tell they didnt cheap out or anything but you could also tell they were benefiting from the dark environment. The way they moved sometimes was abit corny, they like I mentioned earlier just look like falmer with the face shape and chunkier version of golem from the transphobic wizard series. Honestly I could take them or leave them. Good enough but definitely could be better. My suggestion is mostly in that I wish they were a little less human like and their bodies being a little thinner and spindley-er. Not nessesarily rake like but more tik tok mlp infection au type beat. They were ok. Good even. but nothin I would really praise.

I'll rapid fire some criticisms I had: the soundtrack was barely noticeable, the cgi sucked but I could understand why it needed to be used, some cuts/shots were a bit wonky, why did they say piss in every 3rd sentence in the first half of the movie, the necklace felt like kinda a cop out, I wish we had more hallucinations (especially if the first two hallucinations we see from Sarah are supposed to shove a potential unreliable narrator red herring towards the audience), i wish we would of gotten some lore about what the crawlers were, some acting definitely fell flat for me, some scenes carried on too long(the car talking scene), some scenes were a little to overplayed (2 angles is enough, can we get some establishing shots please??) and the extended ending was a bit too bleak(I can see why it was decanonized by the second movie).

Rapid fire praises: dialogue was witty enough to be funny but not cringey, why is there so much sapphic eye fucking during the pack-to-go-to-the-caves scenes??, holly is gay and the writers knew it and that's why they made her want a ton of kids later in life you can't convince me she's not at least bisexual, the first scene with Juno and Paul was an amazing first nod, the cast was cute but could of been better written , the skull shovel was funny, the crazy car driving was a fun nod to show Sarah letting loose and I thoroughly enjoyed that the movie did not shy away from brutality and gore. It was very enjoyable.

All in all, I enjoyed this movie and all it gave me. It's really a shame that the descent 2 ended up being such a terrible movie that it took all that made the first movie good and just rehashed it. I would of loved to have a period movie that showed who put that original climbing equipment there. Maybe some pioneers with a smart local native guide who intentionally tried to get them killed? Some good yummy lore? Really anything else. I won't count that movie's failure towards the rating of this one though so just pretend TD2 doesn't exist 😘 again, very good and i would suggest it to others. Just probably not best for a new horror fan or someone whose squeamish around blood and gore and a little violence. Great for someone pretty familiar with the genre but you don't need a deep cut life long fan to appreciate it.

8/10 sinks!

This one was pretty much everything!

[jenoslutie]

random vent ignore this

just me or is it really weird talking about ur feelings to ur irls like i know they just dont get what i feel. like no one tries to understand my feelings when i try talking to them about things but when its literally anyone who tries talking to me about things i feel like i have to understand their feelings and help them feel better just because i care about them and their happiness but literally no one would do that for me.

everytime something exciting happens for me i gotta keep it to myself and just be happy for myself in silence because i know no one would be excited about it like i would be for them. i think its just me who loves people too hard and then gets upset when its not reciprocated. its really hard out here for me i guess.

that's literally one of the biggest reasons im so attached to nct and ive been so attached to them because after my most recent friendship breakup, the hardest one of my life, where i was being controlled in by my own best friend and forced out of things i enjoyed, nct being one of them, i realized that i was never truly happy during that time like at all. but as soon as i found my way back to them ive been the happiest ive been in the past year even through all my ups and downs (which there were ALOT of) and everytime i even see her now i realize how much happier i am now even if i dont have that many friends now, i find comfort in having the neos as my little safe haven but again, i can never talk to anyone about it because no one gets it. everyone would think im one of those kpop obsessed freaks when im literally just a girl coping with life through them.

i wish i could go back to 2020 when i was literally having the best year of my life. i was in the healthiest relationship of my life, i found nct, my baby was born, everything was just right for me. but of course good things like that never last because everything is falling apart lol...

even now, the guy im like very interested in right now, no one understands it, everyone tells me that hes ugly and i should find someone better but i find comfort in liking him. i like him cuz he actually makes me feel wanted after a whole fucking year of being single and going through countless situationships but ofc i cant say that to anyone cuz im just delusional right? no one gets it no one EVER gets it. everyone just thinks im delusional but its just how i cope with like everything in my life. stress, anxiety, literally anything, its my coping mechanism but whatever.

i cant even start to talk about my family BRUH. i can't complain about shit to my irls cuz everyone knows my family and i dont want it to be awkward but i guess its only sided cuz family does not give a FUCK about who knows me and who doesnt and is straight up just tearing me apart lmao.

on the bright side, im taking the time out for self to improve my mental health and be in a better state! ive started doing daily motivations and journaling on this app and its been helping alot. ive also started protecting my peace way harder so i literally dont talk to anyone other than like close friends lol.

ok bye i wrote like a novel here LMAO goodbye if u read this ignore it this is not who i am

[lostacelonnie]

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

[captainderyn]

Day 9: Worries

Prompt number: 9. “There is a certain taste to it.”

Fandom: LOTRO

Rating: Gen

Warnings/Tags: N/A 

Read on AO3 or beneath the read more

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There is a certain taste that comes with being a warrior. 

Bitter as adversaries force her hand to outcomes to the blade, sharp tangs with each wrong blow that would rip a hole in her lip anew or blood bubbling at the corners of her mouth. 

There was a certain taste to it and it was one that Raenor was not well acquainted with. In his millennia of life he had been within the spacious safety of Rivendell or the gleaming courtyards of Edhelion he had focused his eyes on the art of healing and the simple love of his music, not on grim tactics of combat outside of skirmishes and the necessity to survive. 

He’d never needed to swallow that bitterness. It had very rarely passed his lips. 

She could see it in the way his eyes widened at the disconnected certainty in which she cut down their adversaries. In the way he paled when looking at her injuries that she only spared a cursory glance to. As if she were a different creature than he in the vicious world of fighting. 

In a way, she supposed, they were. 

“Do you hate it?” she asked one day, cleaning the grime and blood off of her armor. The look she met was one of confusion. “How I fight? That I fight?” 

“Why would that bother me?” he asked, openly honest with her as ever and even though she hadn’t known what to expect, relief flowed through her. 

And yet something in her still needed to push. “Because you’re a healer, you aren’t as...as well acquainted with the business....” 

She broke off with a gasp as he moved to press a finger lightly over her lips. “Wulfwryn,” he said, raising his eyebrows at her shocked expression. “It does not bother me; you have your role and I have mine. What you found proficiency is does not make you a monster to me.” 

It shouldn’t have bothered her, she hadn’t even thought that it was on her mind. And yet the cool relief spreading through her was on the contrary as he cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss to her forehead.