#ive also into yknow good things but feels like this one needs a Disclaimer

[blitzgamev]

I love watching objectively mid to shit shows <3

Kindly look away when I post hazbin content shortly for I'm obsessed with the missed potential of it. Like it could be so good!!! But the writing... Even with how it is it can be fun but fun isn't Good yknow... doesn't help the creator is a shit person too like yikes

Anyway I am not immune to tumblr sexymen 👍 didn't get obsessed with the pilot when I watched it in 2019 but now is the time apparently (also the pilot was so much better it had personality (I miss the sound effects and old VAs sue me) and like. actual characters)

[dullahandyke]

and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain

[fictionfixations]

LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

[ankhisms]

disclaimer im fine i just need to try and word various feelings and such pay no mind to the io who is trying to hold faer mental health together

i think the older i get and the more i desperately try to get better or at least be as healthy as i can reasonably expect to be with my various physical and mental issues the more it becomes clear to me... just how much a life time of being abused has altered my brain and tainted how i view myself. and i was obviously aware of this to a certain extent i am often painfully reminded of how much being abused and traumatized over and over throughout my life from a very young age has shaped me and how there are some things i may never fully heal from but will instead carry with me and have to live with. but recently its been jarring for me to like. be faced with it in a different way? where the environment in this theater production im in currently is actually overall very positive! i still often feel awkward where everyone is already good friends and knows one another from past productions but at the same time everyone is nice and friendly and no one is being nasty or weird to me like in the production i was in last year.

and our director and assistant director and the rest of the crew are really really sweet and encouraging and skilled people, i feel really thankful to be working with our director especially shes such a good actor along with being a good director and i value her input on things. which is why it makes it jarring to be given compliments by her and the other crew members and to be told that im a good actor and that im doing a good job. im so used to abuse from authority figures and so used to being told that im a worthless piece of shit etc etc that it comes as a shock when an authority figure in my life is actually kind to me.

and its been like. ive been having to step back and like. re examine just how badly i view myself. i have zero self esteem and zero confidence in myself, i speak very cruelly to myself and generally see myself as being a failure and other things like that, all of this is because ive been told that im a failure and disgusting ugly worthless stupid etc etc from both authority figures, my peers in school, my abuser, and my father throughout my entire life so ive internalized that and its almost impossible for me to break from thinking of myself in anything but that kind of light. but now ive been having to go. ok. i really respect this person who is telling me that im genuinely good at something. i want to believe them. i want to be good at what im doing. so this challenges the view of myself that ive been told is true for my entire life. i keep just going wait so am i not disgusting good for nothing ugly stupid worthless cant do anything right failure etc etc? and it shouldnt be so shocking that the things my abuser and the other people who have hurt and traumatized me have told me are wrong, but ive lived for so long thinking that all these things theyve said to me or said about me must be true. so again its really jarring to just be like. maybe all the awful things ive been told about myself were just very cruel people being cruel to me and not necessarily true.

but also at the same time i certainly dont think that those things being not true somehow makes me ~special~ i really dont think its possible for me to view myself as special or anything like that bc my view of myself is so low and negative and also bc i always want to be remembering other people and valuing everyone else yknow but its like. weird and strange for me to be realizing that maybe i dont suck as much as ive always been told and always believe. and maybe im not some horrible disgusting monster destined to be alone and abused forever, maybe im just a person. maybe im just a person who has been hurt a lot

but i also have to grapple with the fact that it is both true that 1. maybe im not inherently bad and maybe not everyone hates my guts and thinks im awful. but also 2. i am mentally and physically disabled as well as lgbt and there are a lot of times where people do in fact go out of their way to be cruel to me because of this and there will continue to be people who are cruel to me because of being disabled and being lgbt. these things can both be true

and alright i promise that im almost done rambling but one last thing i wish that all these years of abuse and torment and harrassment had somehow hardened me and to an extent i am kind of unphased by certain things but its more like i just fucking dissociate but anyway instead of abuse and trauma making me tough i just am so sensitive and always feel like im such a crybaby. i think i do a good job of not like making that other peoples problem i always try to suck it up but i always feel like i just am never able to grow thicker skin when it comes to very specific things that remind me of being abused. like i said our director is such a good director shes so sweet and kind and she did NOT at all say this in a mean way or mean to upset me. but last night she used me as an example where she said "im really a stickler about us saying the lines the exact way the playwright wrote them. rey i dont mean to single you out or bully you or anything like that, youre doing great, but youve been adding a 'but' to that line, lets cut out the but ok?" and again she is such a good director. she said this very kindly and i always appreciate her feedback and instruction. but feeling like im being singled out in front of people is such a big trigger for me and reminds me so much of past trauma and school abuse especially and it took every ounce of self control i had to not start crying and i just felt so humiliated about that. like why am i so sensitive. i know its because ive been abused my whole life but whats wrong with me. nothing bad happened and yet i felt like i wanted to die

anyway thanks if you read all this i prommy im fine im just feeling a lot of different things lately

[lake-cosay]

infinity train percy jackson au stuff because i'm hyperfixating

(quick disclaimer i havent read the books cause adhd but ive been digging into the story as much as i can through literally every other medium lol)

so the basics: jesse is the son of posiedon. the story would follow roughly the same plot as the first book etc, with jesse not knowing he's a demigod, shit goes down, he ends up at camp, gets a quest, etc

even though tulip fits annabeth way better than lake does, lake will take annabeth's place since yknow percy and annabeth end up together and stuff. plus i like the chemistry (i'm specfically thinking of the "you drool when you sleep" moment that's so them)

tulip sorta technically takes grover's place but she's not a satyr or protector or anything she just needs a spot in the trio and that's what's left lol. she's a daughter of hephaestus (you could argue athena for sure buuuut ive seen other ppl say hephaestus and i like that better for her, especially cause then her and lake can be twins).

some details about jesse:

nate is technically his half brother. whitney is both their moms, stephan is nate's bio dad and legal dad to both of them. i feel like their parents would at least let jesse and nate know that jesse has a different dad, but they would keep the god part to themselves to keep them safe.

so here's the backstory with whitney and poseidon (yes i thought it through this much leave me alone): whitney met poseidon when she was young and they had a thing. she knew stephan at the time, he was her closest friend but they weren't romantic. stephan supported whitney's relationship with poseidon as long as she didn't forget him, which she never did. jesse was conceived and poseidon left, as he does, but stephan was there for whitney. stephan helps raise jesse and eventually whitney falls in love (stephan had done that a while ago), and then a few years later they have nate.

jesse knows stephan isn't his bio dad but he doesn't care, they love each other just the same. it's not something a lot of people know either, it's one of the few things jesse keeps private about himself. the only people who know are immeadiate family.

so yeah, stephan and whitney don't tell the kids about the god thing to keep them safe. they're aware of CHB, and they're sure that jesse's swimming skills come from posiedon. thankfully he doesn't show any crazy powers or anything so they're not too overprotective.

upon arriving to camp, everyone's sure he's an apollo kid. the only person who isn't is lake, but that's also only because they saw him control the water. i could see jesse being put in the apollo cabin to save space in the hermes cabin despite not being claimed because they're just so sure he's apollo's son.

jesse hates fighting. he could probably be pretty decent at it if he wanted to, but he doesn't. he avoids having to learn combat as much as possible. he talks to lake about how much he hates it, and lake says he should really learn at the least the basics just for his own safety, so he agrees to let lake teach him some in private.

jesse refuses to choose a weapon, and just uses a shield and his hydrokinesis to fight but only when necessary. the shield is celestial bronze and turns into a bracelet with a charm that's a mini version of the shield.

about lake:

lake is a child of hephaestus, twin to tulip. tulip doesn't know she has a twin. lake was raised at camp and had never left, until one day, they just couldn't take it anymore and left camp. a magical deer (the yet-to-be-named alan dracula) insisted on following them, which they quickly welcomed.

lake doesn't have the usual abilities of a hephaestus kid. instead, they're more like one of his automatons, being inhumanly strong and endurant. though it doesn't look like metal, few things can truly puncture lake's skin. they've also got some pretty bad eczema and a good deal of scars, so yeah. their skin still makes them stand out.

lake especially appreciated the companionship, since once they left, they began being tailed by a monster (who's like an amalgamation of mace and sieve, haven't quite figured that part out yet).

lake wandered the country for about a month and a half, headed west. they didn't know why, they just felt compelled to head west. eventually they ended up in arizona and met jesse, and the two became friends naturally over the course of a few months.

lake had managed to throw the flec-monster off their trail for a good while, but one day, it finds them. jesse's parents hear the commotion, and upon seeing a monster, tell him to fight back. jesse doesn't know how, and lake tries to explain it to him as they realize he must be a demigod too, but lake gets knocked out. alan dracula picks up lake and urges jesse to run, and his parents tell him to follow the deer. at this point, they've realized that alan dracula had led lake to him to protect him. so jesse follows AD, and he takes them to camp half-blood.

lake isn't exactly happy to be back at CHB but that's overshadowed by them worrying about jesse. they watch over him in the infirmary.

lake grew up at camp. not quite sure how they got there, but tulip doesn't know she has a twin until she has her own little adventure where she arrives at camp aroung age 12-13. megan thinks lake (whose deadname is magnolia, maggie for short, MT for really short) is dead.

lake was probably raised by a mix of chiron, hestia, and some of the older campers when they were really young. since they're the youngest demigod the camp ever had, and since they got into so much trouble in the hermes cabin, they were moved to the big house. eventually after tulip arrived and the two of them were claimed (at the same time), they moved to the hephaestus cabin. lake honestly hates it there and wants their bed in the big house back.

lake had a habit of sneaking out of camp to explore, and because they just wanted to be able to do what they choose damnit, but never got far before being chased back in by the flec-monster. that's how they got most of the scars.

their chosen weapon is a pair of celestial bronze daggers that can turn into rings.

i really wanna do something with lake's mirror but i don't really have any ideas lol. sometimes in aus where lake's human (or in this case, part human) i just give them a birthmark on their leg or smthn, ideas are very much welcome!

now for tulip:

like i said, tulip is a daughter of hephaestus. tulip doesn't know she's a demigod until her parents take her to camp when she's about 12. they do it for her safety, and also to give her somewhere to go while they work out the divorce stuff. tulip meets lake pretty quickly and they get claimed together. tulip spends summers at camp but goes home the rest of the year.

tulip is definitely very smart and pragmatic like an athena kid, and she gets along well with just about everyone in athena's cabin. however, she doesn't like battle the way they do. she'd rather be making something than fighting. she still likes coding and brings her laptop with her to camp.

she probably made a little robot who very closely resembles one-one. he's not technically in this au but i'll give him some little cameos.

tulip attempts to bond with lake by making them cool weapons. it kinda works, but not as well as she'd hoped.

one night tulip hears lake leaving the cabin in the middle of the night. she catches up with them, and finds them all dressed and packed and equiped. she questions them, and lake just bluntly states they're leaving. tulip realizes they're serious about leaving camp. she asks them to wait and gives them some extra supplies and weapons before they leave, makes them promise not to die out there, then helps them get away from the flec-monster long enough to get headed away from camp.

tulip definitely worries about lake, mainly cause she's seen just how dangerous the flec-monster can be, but she tries to just trust lake. it's only about 6 months before lake shows back up with jesse, which is very confusing, but ultimately tulip is happy lake's back and this new kid is nice enough. a bit painfully nice, tulip takes one look at him and says he must be an apollo kid. she doesn't understand why lake is insisting he can control water. he can't be a kid of the big three, he's a dork. obviously he's not that kid from the prophecy, and lake just hit their head a little too hard when they were knocked out.

tulip has pyrokinesis, as well as the usual abilities of a hephaestus kid

her weapon is a good old sword, a special one she made that can turn into a variety of tools

a few more little things:

grace is a daughter of aphrodite who can charmspeak

simon is a son of either ares or athena, and would probably have a role very similar to luke's. i'm not gonna think about that too hard though because i have 0 interest in anything simon related lol (i also don't plan on yknow, planning out a whole plot for this so it doesnt really matter anyway)

i was thinking a lot of denizens, namely AD, the cat, atticus, tuba, etc could just be animals who were affected by the gods but i think that's kinda messy and im not gonna do that after all. but if you like the idea feel free to run w it

despite being younger and smaller lake has kicked simon's ass (in capture the flag and sparring) numerous times but simon refuses to admit it

i had a very vague idea involving medusa and reflections. that's it that's the whole idea that's all ive got

i just realized i did not think about amelia or any of the book 4 characters at all oops. sorry

i was very much inspired by these posts so check them out! also heavily inspired by the musical. i would love to know your thoughts and ideas for this because i am hyperfixating so bad lol

[anotherhellchild]

📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life

oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.

also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.

This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk. 

ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer. 

also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth. 

and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.

oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.

But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.

Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?

but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview. 

Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.

he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.

generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop. 

so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.

It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.

Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it

But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)

[abosideblog]

OKAY SO- im in the process of getting back into the pjo fandom so i figured i would make a lil headcanons post for some of the characters because why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(quick disclaimer: ive only read the original PJO series and the HoO books- i havent read the magnus chase or the ToA books yet, and its been a while since i last read all the books i have in their entirety so all the characters will be based on how they are in the PJO + HoO books and there may be some inaccuracies here n there)

Annabeth- definitely an alpha. a leader-type too. being the daughter of athena, she’s very wise + rational, and excellent at making plans which imo are very good traits to have if youre the head alpha of a pack or are mated to the leader of a pack. shes also very mature for her age- which, admittedly is mostly due to circumstance rather than her naturally being like that- but i feel like as a child of athena, maturity would come more naturally to her to some extent

Percy- either a beta or an omega. hes not very submissive and hes an excellent fighter + leader which would make you *think* hes an alpha but hes just got those omega vibes yknow?? idk how to explain it properly sorry 😭

Grover- i figured since hes a satyr and not a human the whole a/b/o thing wouldnt really apply to him?? but if it did he’d be a beta!! betas serve as a good balance/midpoint between alphas and omegas, so if i end up headcanoning percy as an omega (which im very inclined to do) grover would serve as a good balance between percy + annabeth like he did in the books :-)

Piper- either an alpha or omega, i havent decided yet. im leaning more towards alpha since from what i remember of HoO she was pretty aggressive and rebellious, at least by aphrodite kid standards, and doesnt really care for her looks much, which is again measured by aphrodite kid standards. however the fact that pipers more tomboyish-ness is mostly in comparison to the non-tomboyish-ness of the other aphrodite kids leaves lots of room in my mind for her to be interpreted as a masculine/tomboy type omega buuut she also has that little hint of Alpha Vibe in a way i cant explain so i’ll have to reread the HoO books and see if i can try to explain myself better,,,

Jason- tbh i read him as a beta. hes a leader type like percy, but he has zero qualms in passing the helm onto someone older and/or more experienced and overall just better suited for a leadership position, which in my mind isnt really an alpha or omega trait?? like omegas tend to higly value agency + independence + basically being able to control your own situation is since (in meta, but also in universe) it isnt really something thats afforded to them, so many arent willing to step down so quickly. and while the want/need to have control/agency over youself and your situations isnt as prnounced in alphas, it is smth thats still there and even the most cooperative of alphas may still need some degree of convincing to hand the reigns over to someone else so being able to let go of a leadership position as easily as jason is able to (from what i remember) is a very beta trait imo

Leo- a very cheeky omega. tbh i think his personality type lends itself more to being an omega since i remember him being a lil jokester, a lil flirt yknow, like a charmer!! and i feel like those types of traits would be pretty common in omegas for various reasons. hes also super short (around 5’6”/170cm which tbh isnt all that short but you get what i mean) and its my personal headcanon that omegas- particularly male ones- fall mostly in the 5’5”-5’7” height range (with exceptions ofc)

[gaydelgard]

Hey this is genuinely not an attempt at starting an argument, I am purely just curious, but how can you be bi and aroace at the same time? Like what kind of attraction do you have for multiple genders? (I super get it if you don't want to talk about this, but in that case can you make some sort of post just so I know that you've seen this ask?)

i always expected somebody to ask this honestly. i have a short answer and a long answer

the short answer is:¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s a good question and i’ll let you know if i figure it out.

but i also always expected the person asking to be much more of an ass about itso since you were very respectful i will give you the longer more personal (more rambling) answer

ace is something that has always fit me, it’s something i always knew i was as soon as i heard that it existed (in 12th grade. before that i was just massively depressed and worried i would never be able to be happy)

aromanticism is intrinsically tied to my ace identityi tried dating in highschool, sometimes accidentally, most often because i felt like maybe i would like it and be normal if i just tried itmade myself absolutely miserable im not opposed to ever having a romantic relationship someday, but i’d have to find someone i was interested inim not saying it will never happen but aromantic really just simplifies things for me, in conveying to the world (and by the world i mean mostly tumblr, pretty much would never use that word in the physical everyday world) where i am personally and what i want (or dont want) from others in that respect“I’m Not Interested” is what my label says and for now that remains true

(and if it ever did come to that i am sure the negative experiences i had in highschool would not be repeated because im an adult who is comfortable w myself and knows how to set boundaries)

now that’s all well and good externally but internally it’s not completely cut and dried like that, yknow?and i guess i need a disclaimer here bc ok. the “”“”“sp/lit attrac////tion mo//del”“”that’s a way of talking which i feel is ONLY useful for talking about ace people. it’s absolutely not helpful in other communities. i think it certainly certainly can be valuable for ace people but yes it definitely can be quite damaging in other contexts.now that that’s out of the way, i also don’t think it applies to me at all. i put aromantic in my description, again, for the benefit of other people. not myself. if i ever found someone i felt attraction to i believe it would be attraction in all sensesprobably.anyway so when i say romantic and attraction and so on i do mean that to be all encompassing

to a certain extent i do feel attraction, i guess?? this is where it gets more complicated i have a fundamental belief that i am attracted to pretty much any genderbut what ‘attracted to’ means in this context i honestly couldn’t tell you, and to what extent it’s true is i guess debatable. but it feels true. it has just yet to be true in any /practical/ or real world sense

but it still kinda feels important to my identity, yknow? it took me a long time to add it to my description because i was afraid of being harassed about it and not being able to provide any answers to defend myself

(alright so it actually was true One Time in my entire life while i was at my job at a grocery store. they were the most “traditionally” androgynous person ive ever seen in my life they were wearing a vest and they also looked like a cross bw cassandra drgn age and emily dis/honored which is absolutely my type when playing videogames. they were there for five seconds, i had absolutely no idea how to handle what i was feeling, and i never saw them again. and that’s what i meant when i said it had never been true in any practical sense bc yeah the fact that this happened ultimately doesn’t have any impact on my life when it really comes down to it.)

anyway so i guess that’s the gist of it and theres always more to talk about BUT you are very right this was a really personal question and you got a really personal answer to it and to go more in depth would be even more personal and if this wasn’t to your satisfaction well see answer 1

that being said if you have any more respectful questions for clarification or anything you can send em in. (the more nitty-gritty your questions get the more likely i would be to answer them off anon rather than publicly though but you seem like a reasonable enough person)