#ive also been working overtime quite a bit
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I know I’d been a long time since you wrote for gravity falls but if you ever did I think I would actually scream. Your fics were such a highlight of my day and it was always a pleasure to read them, even the unfinished ones were such a joy to read.
Oh thank you! I'm glad they were a highlight for you c: I don't know if I will ever go back, maybe I'll get the buzz again but at the moment if I were to write anything I think it'd be Stranger Things.
I planned out an entire maze runner au with friends but I don't even know if I'll ever write it ^^;; I've gone back to being a lurker/reader myself haha! Maybe I'll just put up my rambling plot notes.
But I will never say never to GF. Special place in my heart for bringing me some awesome friends. c:
Weird how time flies. I got to know one of them through them drawing fanart for one of my fics. Which was... I don't even know how long ago now? @sightkeeper how long have we known each other now? Anyway what's even weirder is that it's now already been almost a year since we met up in person. I travelled to Canada to spend 2 weeks with a bestie that I'd have never had known if not for GF. Like that's breaking my brain a bit. Or maybe it's because it's almost 2am and I should probably be sleeping haha!
#imp talks#ive been realising that i wrote a looooot when i hated my job#like i needed a creative outlet?#i feel mean saying hated cause i worked with my pops but the boss called me neurotic and stopped paying us all so hey i think i can say tha#but anyway now i get to be creative at work and enjoy my work i dont seem to have the energy when i get home#ive also been working overtime quite a bit#but its all illustrations! of artifacts! <3#im drawing flint scrapers and knives and getting to know that theyll be in print some day#its like ?!?!#nerdy ramble in the tags as usual#just in case people arent interested haha#it's 1:30am so this is maybe rambly anyway
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omg chat why is writing kinda hard???
ok so this is a bit of an aside (warning: this post is long) but @348kg and i talked about this and honestly writing fanfics is a way for us to express ourselves creatively while using our idols as inspo for our work. and it’s fun most of the time.. but like honestly, 70-80% of the time, writing is hard. it’s not easy, like… it’s actually quite hard work.
and i know everyone has seen posts of like “pls reblog instead of just silently reading” or “pls like at least to show your appreciation” etc etc etc and ur probs sick of hearing it but like, it’s so true???
writing is honestly hard. and for most of us fanfic writers.. im sure you know but we have lives outside of our blogs. we are students, or we work normal jobs, we have life responsibilities, we have problems to deal with, and yet somewhere in between our busy lives we manage to find the time to sit down and create these pieces of writing for you, the reader, to read.
and tbh, i don’t really know where im going with this? i just want to let you know this: a typical 1-2k words one-shot probably takes me around 2-3 hours to write (on average, on a good day - sometimes longer or shorter). but it takes you maybe 10-15 mins, at most 30 mins to read depending on your reading speed. isn’t the time gap a little wild 🫠 on a typical work day, i get home from work at about 6, i cook myself dinner and eat, i shower and clean up, and if i know im writing that night, i make sure to clear my schedule (ie no overtime, no phone calls to friends or parents etc) and i sit on my laptop and write from about 10ish to about midnight. then i pause and i edit, and set things up to get ready post (think: pictures, title, word count, writing the warnings, summary, doing the tags) and by the time i post, it’s probably 1am.
i breathe a sigh of relief because it feels good! it feels really good to release my labour of love (literally) out into the world. and honestly, you know who you are, but those of you who constantly read and reblog my work, i see u!! (Alexa play i see u by p1harmony) and those who leave comments or reviews in the tags, i also see u (that’s why i like to reblog and respond to your tags too)!! it honestly brings me so much joy when someone comes and talks to me about something i wrote and how it made them feel. or even when someone recommends a fic i wrote. all these things that are so little and take so little of your time actually mean so much to me and im sure other writers as well.
and so i guess what im trying to say to everyone is: if you are a fic reader, if you read any fics, i just want you to know that the fic you loved reading took the writer a lot of resources to write (brain power, creativity and importantly time). i hope this gives u an insight into the process of a writer/writing a fic because im hoping it might help with whether or not you decide to hit that like or reblog or comment button in the near future!!
(also, i think it’s a shame that as writers sometimes we have to compromise on what we actually want to write vs what to write to get more engagement, likes, rbs etc. personally i have been writing on tumblr since 2020 on and off so ive been on here for four years now and i have a good sense of what is a good formula for a “successful” fic - usually it’s smut, usually it’s for the most popular member in terms of fic reading, and usually it’s of a certain length posted around a certain time etc etc. but i guess i don’t rly care anymore bc im a kinda old tumblr writer who isn’t bothered about the notes as much as i am just grateful for the little comments people send me saying that what i wrote made them feel seen or resonated with them. cos i think that is priceless 🥹)
PS. in no way am i complaining about the engagement or lack thereof that i personally get, nor am i complaining about the mere fact that writing is hard bc yes i am aware that i wanted to write in the first place and so it was my decision haha
#i wanted to do an ot6 fic by the end of tonight and i ONLY wrote jiung and felt bad about it T_T#but yeah#writing is hard ig#also to cover my ass i am not complaining just to be clear#I’m just stating that yeah i wanted to get fics out earlier rather than later but sometimes it’s just hard and life gets in the way#if you’re one of my mutuals on here u might know this but there’s some other external stuff going on in my life rn#which is making me like not as free to write essentially#and i really wanted to write something this weekend but I didn’t manage to so I am kinda disappointed in myself ngl#but#we live and we learn#and at least the blog got a face lift :)#I’m gonna keep working on the ot6 piece tho cos it’s rly fun#1 down#5 to go haha#good night friends#I hope ur having good weeks#don’t be too harsh on urself like I am bahaha#p1harmony writers#piwon writers#kpop writers#p1harmony fanfic#piwon fanfic#Kpop fanfic#shoutout to my readers#shoutout to my moots <3#I love you all actually#sending you a jiung style greeting AKA I’m keeping you all in my heart#*pounds chest cutely yet aggressively*#rach 💭
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saw IV third rewatch thoughts
- this movie is entertaining but nowhere near good enough to deserve how well it’s edited. the practical scene transitions alone are award worthy and for THIS
- art blank looks like sad owen wilson
- literally criminal that the guy who played rigg was only billed FIFTH. lyriq bent you carried this film
- scalper chair girl is crazy hot
- i think i said this somewhere before but i appreciate that perez and strahm are less good cop/bad cop and more like vaguely empathetic cop/rabid hunting dog
- betsy russell is also so absolutely comically attractive she literally makes scott patterson (who is on the good side of average) look worse by comparison. the interrogation bits are crazy like get away from her you beast. also i think his eyelashes are longer than hers
- hoffman’s new york accent is CRAZY in this movie i don’t think he ever sounds quite this brooklyn again
- not to be like “jigsaw was right” in any capacity but the rapist guy in the motel room trap deserved it
- i wish jill tuck was my auntie
- can we talk about apprentice perez please mac i’ve been dying to talk about apprentice perez with you all day
- literal seven out of ten chance costas mandylor has lip fillers
- i loooove all the weird silly obvious anatomical/surgical aspects there are to some of the traps. sewing up those guys’ eyes and mouth, the spikes through the vital points with that married couple. they had dr. gordon’s ass working overtime with these
- donnie wahlberg does possibly the best job any member of the new kids on the block could have done playing a pathetic wet rat
- oh so they can have a scene with the billy puppet being small on a chair looking like he would perfectly fit in your lap but when i say “i think billy is lap-sized” everybody loses their minds. i don’t care if it’s forced perspective perez gets right up next to him and he’s literally the size of like a toddler
- speaking of perez there is no way her ass is dying from that puppet explosion. like i get that she didn’t ACTUALLY die but she was clearly in danger of it and they had strahm believing it even though there is no fucking wayyyy a couple pieces of shrapnel in her forehead could have killed her unless that weird dust was some kind of poison or something and not just plaster
- the version i watched unfortunately did cut the bit where strahm pulls a gun in the interrogation room and mimes shooting himself in the head with it
- i never caught that john got in his car accident on the WAY HOME from being diagnosed with cancer…. i kinda get it now
- the implication that john designed the glass coffin for jill makes me genuinely crazy
- i don’t even care about the reveal of hoffman as the accomplice the twist at the end where it’s revealed that it was all happening concurrently with saw III is the most insane part of this movie i remember the first time i saw it i literally stood up out of my seat going WHAT THE FUCKKKKK
- in conclusion
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Hiiiiiiii - don’t mind my spam liking and reblogging of everything in your TSHU tag on your blog askshajdkfhs hahah but I obviously just finished reading (after binging the whole fic in less than 24 hours while I’ve been home sick from work)
BUT HOLY SHIT! That was an absolutely mind blowing, incredible fic. I’ve read quite a bit of your work lately (finished heading for limbo a few weeks ago and late night talking probably like a month or so ago) and I’m obsessed with all of your work! Can’t wait to keep reading more!
The story and plot and emotions and relationships were so dynamic and complex all throughout and I was constantly on the edge of my seat unable to stop reading because every turn there was some new revelation that made me gasp. Such a clever clever story and way to fucking knock it out of the park on the timetravel and loops, my brain was working overtime when the pieces of the puzzle all started to come together. It was fun trying to keep up and figure it all out while reading and simultaneously freaking out about whether or not everything was completely different because his messed up time hop changed it or if it was like that before the time hop and then trying to wrap my brain around the idea if zayn purposely messed up the time hop for him so that this all would continue happening on an endless loop!?!? Talk about my brain being on overdrive lmao but I loved every second of it!
Also I can totally understand why you never wrote a sequel time stamp because I agree, having to read through the hurt and agony that harry would have gone through during those five years would have been so depressing even though we know how it ends, but the little emails were cute!!
Here’s my two cents (you can totally disregard) on a potential sequel if you ever wanted to write one *cough cough* now that um, ahem, it’s 2023…. And the sequel could pick up right from when Louis returns in 2023 and they reunite and then figure out their life going forward from there and how they’ve changed being apart from each other? Idk just a thought 😘
But thank you again for this gorgeous fic! You are so so incredibly talented! Mwah 💋
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :)
i keep meaning to respond but mannnn i haven't had the brain space for making words lately.
thank you for liking/reblogging all those posts! thank you for sending this ask! and thank you for understanding where i'm coming from w/r/t that sort of sequel.
i'm so glad you liked tshu and hfl! i hope you like my other fics. i miss writing! i wish i was writing! i have so many feelings about writing right now and i just can't put them into words. but i did want to respond to your ask and say thanks for making me incredibly happy every time ive read this ask since you sent it!
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okay so ive seen a couple of your blurbs/one shots in mlbrry trope talking about their fuck in the baltimore dugout, and honnestly, i wanna know the deets 😫😫. is there a one shot on the baltimore dugout anywhere?
So Pretty, It’s Blinding
prompt: a follow up to this one shot, what happens when YN wants to use her redeemable coupon on Harry?
warnings: public sex, smut, minors dni
if you liked please reblog, recommended, like, and come talk to me about it! (this is what motivates me to continue writing)!
i write for FREE - I am also trying to steer away from paetron so everyone can have access my stories - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here.
an: hi everyone! im backkkkkkk. i missed you all so much but have been having a really rough time outside tumblr. this is pure smut and i know a lot of you having been waiting for this. enjoy 🐠 🌮 🏝
Harry was exhausted.
The game went into three innings of overtime, for the majority of which, Harry was on the mound, and the other - he was on base.
During the bottom of the fifth, Harry was bolting from first to second to get a double, and the short stop ‘accidentally’ tripped him.
It resulted in Harry falling onto the dirt hard, with a minor pain shooting up his side, but before he can register it - he’s up on his feet and cussing out the opposing player.
He nearly got kicked from the game but luckily, his teammate stopped him before he could land a hit to the dude’s face.
YN watched from her seat, no babies, they we’re back in New York with Anne and Gemma.
She watched with a bit of humor because her husband that was currently on the field calling the player a ‘cunt’ was just FaceTiming with his babies before the game - cooing at them and telling them how much he loves them.
The coach put him on the bench for an inning to cool down and in that time, their next up pitcher gave up five fucking points - though YN could hear him still shouting curses from the dugout.
“Fuckin�� curveball it. You’re ruining the game that I had us winning, fucker!” To his own teammate.
“Of course, you only fuckin’ sign cheaters!” To the opposing coach.
“I suck? Explain to me why I make more than all of you combined then! Fuckin’ idiots.” To the rival players.
But a few hours earlier, Harry was murmuring softly to Ezra, “Daddy loves you so much. Miss you ever my second I’m away, bubby. You gotta be good f’your nana though, yes?”
They won the game but it wasn’t a win that Harry was satisfied with because he stormed off the field and didn’t shake hands at the end of the game.
YN feels a bit of disappointment ball in her stomach because this is the first time in quite a while they’ve gotten a child-free night and she didn’t want him in a sour mood for it.
She had brought it along and kept it in her purse for this sole reason, a crumbled up piece of paper that read in Harry’s handwriting, ‘one free fucking, redeemable whenever, expiration never’.
Unlike her husband, she held onto her coupon until the timing was absolutely perfect and she saw opportunity when he walked back onto the field after everyone had cleared out and he found his wife perched on the barrier - waiting.
He had taken an extra long shower to calm down and then a long talk with his coaches because he doesn’t reappear for over an hour and a half - YN is sure he had texted her telling her to go back to the hotel because he was hung up but she didn’t bother to check.
And Harry is predictable, since he didn’t get a reply text - he would come back out to the field, just to make sure his wife still wasn’t waiting.
When he steps back out onto the green, his brow furrows grumpily when he spots her still sat, waiting for him to come retrieve her.
“Your phone die or somethin’? Tried texting and calling you to tell you not to wait for me,” Harry huffs as he arrives in front of her, big palms resting on her thighs.
“Mm,” YN hums non-commitally, she could already feel herself soaking through her underwear with the anticipation of what was about to happen - her body knew him inside and out, knew the pleasure he could give her whenever she asked.
Harry reaches his hand out, a bit confused but honestly a little too pissed off still to question her any further on why she waited but she pressed her foot against his thigh to push him back.
“What are you doing, mama? Don’t you want to go back to the hotel?” Harry asks with a slight harsh edge, he was honestly getting annoyed - he wanted to get the fuck out of this stupid stadium.
“Watch your tone, H,” YN chastises lightly before she’s taking his hand and slipping something into the palm of his calloused one.
He is perplexed as he opens his fist and unravels the tiny scrap of paper from a few months ago, eyes quickly flitting over his own writing before his facial expression darkens with realization.
“Fuck,” He grunts, his voice getting at least an octave lower with lust as he yanks her off her bum and says, “C’mon, let’s go to the hotel. Give you want you want. Nice n’ hard.”
“No,” YN tells him haughtily as he tries to interlock their fingers to walk towards the exit of the green, “It said whenever, I didn’t say I want it at the hotel. If I wanted it there, I would have waited to give it to you.”
YN watches him as he finally connects the pieces of the puzzle, his shoulders straightening and he takes a deep inhale, “You want my cock here? At the stadium? Are you just messing with me?”
“Does it feel like I am?” YN bites back, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and bring his hand to her center where through her thin biker shorts, he can feel not only the heat but the delicious wetness.
“Fuckin’ hell. Know just the place to pound into you,” Harry nearly growls as he wastes no time in pulling her along the turf until they’re going down just five steps to get into the dugout.
It’s so fucking hot, how absolutely turned on he is - it’s like he’s feral with how his jaw is clenched and his movements are demanding and rough as he shoves her into the deep corner of it - somewhat shielded from wondering eyes (but not really).
The tips of his fingers dig roughly into the meaty flesh of her hips as he attempts to spin her so her hands are braced on the wooden bench and her ass is presented to him.
YN doesn’t obliges, she gives him a light shove and a warning glare before roughly palming at where he’s completely stiff in his athletic shorts.
“Bab-baby,” He gasps lowly, hips bucking into her hand, trying to create as much friction as possible - he was shameless, he wanted to fuck his wife whenever she would let him, would fuck her in the middle of the field if she asked.
“It’s my coupon to redeem,” She reminds him harshly, plopping down on the bench and spreading her thighs, “Get on your knees.”
Harry’s mouth is open like a fish, eyes wide in disbelief before they dart around to make sure no one is nearby them to see.
“What the fuck has gotten into you, mama? Gonna make me come like a schoolboy in my pants,” Harry shakes his head as he kneels down - his hands moving to roll down the band of her biker shorts and thin underwear.
Not a lot, just enough that her pretty folds are glistening in the light reflected from the field in front of them.
Just enough that he could duck his head and lick a fat stripe at her lower lips and taste the sweetness that was waiting for him.
“My favorite meal, darling,” He groans in pleasure before burying his face between her thighs again, giving her a warning pinch when she tries to wriggle her shorts down more, popping back up, “Cut it out, not getting you naked here. Greedy brat.”
YN grumbles a bit but that quickly dissipated when his front teeth graze her clit, just a tiny spark of pain then followed by him creating a tight, wet suction that soothes the sting.
YN’s hands are knotted into his freshly-washed curls, tugging and bossy but it just has him moaning further into her cunt - no care that they’re in a public space.
With the excitement of it all, it’s only a few more minutes of Harry lapping at her, laying his tongue flat so she can grind against it, and his fingers coming up to tuck into her to stroke at her walls before she’s trembling.
“H, oh my god. It feels so good, s’good,” YN begins to moan much to loudly as her orgasm comes crashing over her and Harry keeps his mouth busy but his hand comes up to smack across her mouth to shut her up.
Harry’s quite sure he’s never been this close to coming without any stimulation - eyes watching as his wife shivers through her pleasure in then corner of a dugout.
He rolls up her bottoms as soon as she’s ridden out the wave, he has no desire for anyone to see her undressed, no matter how hot the sex.
YN’s has a cocky but hazy smile on her lips when Harry removes his hand but it disappears when she hears a loud noise of a machine revving up.
Harry peeks his head around to see, at the far back right in the outfield - one of the employees was doing turf maintaince on a utility cart, among a couple other men out there helping him.
“Perfect timing,” YN giggles as she stands up, legs a bit wobbly.
“You’re right,” Harry smirks, he maneuvers his confused wife until she’s right where he wants her - hands braced on the bench, bum pushed out for him.
“Harry, wha-?”
“You got yours, mama. Don’t be greedy, gonna give me mine now,” Harry rumbles as once again, he only pulls down her shorts enough and then pulls her shirt down as far as possible to cover her up.
It didn’t make it any less sexy but at the end of the day, she’s his wife and mother of his children - not someone who’s just a sex object, he would never want to expose her.
“There’s people on the field, H,” YN hisses as Harry pulls himself out of his shorts, already swollen and begging for his own relief.
“Then you better keep you’re pretty mouth shut so everyone doesn’t hear how good your husband fucks you, huh?” He teases, lips brush her earlobe as he slips his wet tip through her folds, her entrance giving way easily for him.
“Oh-ohh!” She moans, much to loudly, as she clenches her warm, velvet walls on him - nearly suffocating his cock with pure, unadulterated pleasure.
“You like that?” Harry laughs meanly, pulling out only to slam back in, admiring the way that her cheeks jiggle with the force, “Love how slutty you are for me.”
“You-you’re the slut,” YN bites back, hands gripping the wood enough to feel like she’s going to get splinters, knuckles white as her knees weaken with sensitivity radiating from her core.
He lets out a delighted, sleazy laugh as he kisses the back of her shoulder, “Of course I am. S’all for you though. Big ole’ baseball star, make the most money in the league, most sought after, and you’re the only one who’s got this cock.”
Then there’s a shuffling sound nearby that has Harry pulling out and nearly ripping his wife’s shorts with how fast he pulls them back up over her cheeks before stuffing himself back in his shorts.
Harry’s yanking her up so she’s not in such a compromising position and tugs her into his chest so that by the time one of the maintenance men steps into their line of sight - it doesn’t giveaway what they where doing.
The janitor looks at Harry with wide, star-struck eyes, nearly dropping his bucket as they meet gazes, the man stutters out, “You-you’re Harry Styles.”
Harry is thankful that his hard on had managed to go down at a reasonably fast rate so that when he turned to the man and detached from the hug, he didn’t look like a perv.
“I am, s’nice to meet you,” Harry smiles genuinely, it’s not this man’s fault that he interrupted something that wasn’t supposed to be happening there.
“I, I usually not allowed t-to ask but my kid-kids would,” The man continues with his hands shaking like he’s just met God himself, reaching down into the bucket to grab a dirty ball, probably from the bull pen.
“Sign it? Not a problem, mate. What are your kids names?” Harry answers for him, stepping forward and waiting patiently for the man to dig out a marker from his pocket.
“Lilianna, Joseph, and Luke.”
The superstar signs the ball with a personalized little message for the children and while he does, the man casually asks, “What are you still doing on the green?”
Harry is so fucking smooth though, doesn’t even blink before responding with a easy lie, “My wedding band fell off and m’wife wasn’t gonna let me in the hotel room unless I found it. Luckily, I did.”
“Well, thank goodness for that. Thank you for this, Mr, Styles,” The man says before waving at YN and disappearing through a door that was just to the right of them.
Harry tries to hide his disappointment, that their spontaneous sex didn’t pan out how they planned, and so he steps over, kissing his wife’s lips, and muttering, “To be continued at the hotel?”
YN gives him a rough pinch to his bicep, “Since when are you the vanilla one?” Basking in enjoyment when his expression because stormy, “You can take me back to the hotel or you could take me to the locker room like the old days.”
Despite how deep the ache from the game is in Harry’s bones, he’s grappling for her hand and pulling her along towards the field exit and to the locker room.
It’s cleared out by now, already cleaned by how the carpet is freshly vacuumed, and all the stalls for the players are empty and wiped down.
“Get fuckin’ naked,” Harry orders loudly, cock easily harden back to full mast because he was that ready for his wife and he was pretty positive no one else would come into the locker room.
“But-“ YN hesitates but it’s interrupted when Harry roughly pulls her Jersey over her head, then her bra, before yanking down her shorts and panties in one go.
“But nothing,” Harry hisses as he undressed himself quickly, fucking in YN’s fist when she wraps her hand around him, “Don’t act like you’re shy now, love. Just let me have y’cunt in a full ass stadium. You’re used to this, remember how many times you came on my cock in the college locker room? Of course, you remember.”
“Harry,” YN giggles, face heating up even though it’s just them in the room.
“What? No need to be embarrassed. S’just me, your husband, yeah?” His voice is like pure sex on its on as his fingers dip between her folds to make sure she’s still drenched, which of course she is.
-
“Harry,” YN squeals quietly, letting her boyfriend manhandle her in the dingy, cramp shower stall in the bathrooms of their college locker room.
“Wha’?” He smiles cheekily, dimple creating a deep crater in his check as he pushes her up against the wall and lifts her leg to give him room.
“You’re insane,” She scolds, voice still low but she allows him to maneuver her into a comfortable position.
“C’mon, baby. Had to wait until I found the love of my life to fuck. Least you could do is spread ‘em and let me fuck you like I mean it,” Harry has no shame in his words as he starts to guide himself into her warm center - there’s a rustle outside and YN’s eyes widen but Harry just shuts the curtain even more and thrusts in.
-
Harry’s press her into a locker but just like before, she pushes him back by his chest, scolding, “You’re always so bossy when we have sex.”
He can’t help it when he lands a hard smack on her ass for her comment but his cock visible twitches when she sits him down on the bench and knees his legs open.
“Baby, baby,” Harry begins to babble excitedly as she straddles him and grips his length to line it up to her, “You gonna ride me? Fuckin’ hell, give me your perfect cunt. How’d did I get so lucky? Fell in love with the hottest woman on this planet.”
YN isn’t gonna lie, her ego is stroked with his reverent praises - he always acts like he’s starving and has been deprived of sex for years when he just got it yesterday.
The horniest of his college years truly never wore off and YN couldn’t say she was happy about it - who wouldn’t want to always feel wanted and beautiful by their partner?
It is also intense when she opens up and lets him in, stretching her walls in the most delicious way - his large, strong hands come to grip the extra plush at her hips to sink her all the way down.
YN’s head falls back, hair cascading down her back, throat exposed as she lets out a loud whine at the feeling and Harry has to try his hardest not to shoot off right there as her tits bounce with her movement.
“Holy fuckin’ shit, mama,” He groans, not embarrassed to admit his thighs are shaking with effort not to come on the spot, squeezing him so fucking good, “You are so pretty it’s blinding. I swear it makes sense why I’m demi, only made for you.”
“Fuck, like that,” YN mewls, nails digging into his shoulders as she exerts all her might in her thighs, burning from the positioning but she’s so close to her second orgasm that it doesn’t matter.
“Need you to come, don’t be selfish now,” Harry grits out, planting his feet flat and beginning to fuck up into her with power that most men couldn’t dream of having.
“I-it’s,” She doesn’t get any other words out because while he’s pounding into her, his teeth come to graze at her sensitive nipples before biting at them with enough still to hurt.
“I said, come on,” It’s now an order, amplified by a forceful smack to her backside, followed by three more consecutively that have pain radiating in every nerve ending but it does the trick when he bullies her into coming.
“Finally,” Harry rumbles proudly, letting go and joining her in release as so as she starts rhythmically clenching around him - he voice echoing through empty room as he unabashedly moans loudly enough that someone surely has had to hear.
YN’s legs ache, she’s not a professional athlete like her husband who can fuck in the most exhausting positions for hours and so, as soon as she comes down from her wave she’s letting her head fall to his now sweaty chest, his chestnut curls matted to his temple.
He was so attractive it hurt.
No only was he her husband but the father of her babies and if she thought about it for too much longer, she’s get turned on all over again.
“That was a nice surprise,” Harry murmurs, more softly now, hands kneading apologetically at her irritated cheeks from where his rings had raised her skin.
“I can be sexy sometimes,” YN chuckles, pushing back into the massage for a moment before swinging her leg off and getting up to gather her closing.
Harry stops her though, grabbing her jaw with light pressure until their eyes meet, “Hey. You’re always sexy. We don’t have to do anything crazy for me to be craving your cunt every second of the day. Whether it’s at a stadium or right before we go to sleep in our bed. Anytime you give it to me, I love it.”
“You’re too good to me,” She mumbles sheepishly, pursing her lips until he leans forward to connect their lips.
They get dressed, ready to go back to hotel and shower, then order room service and cuddle - excited to sleep in tomorrow.
As they walk out, hand and hand, they don’t see the employee around the corner who’s emptying trash cans and pulling out his phone to text his wife.
Pretty sure Harry Styles was just fucking his wife in the locker room
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#harry styles writing#harry styles#harry styles masterlist#harry styles fic rec#harry styles x reader#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles smut#harry styles writing request#mlb!verse#mlbrry#mlb!harry blurbs#mlb!harry masterlist#mlb!harry#erodasfishtacos masterlist#harry styles imagine#one shot harry styles#harry styles love on tour#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#harry styles fic recommendatioin#harry styles au#file#kofi#husband!harry#harry styles husband#dad harry styles#dad!harry
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It Ain’t Me - Part IV
Featuring: KUROO Tetsurou x you ; AKAASHI Keiji x you
Genre: Angst, fluff
Word Count: 1,249
Warning: mentions of alcohol and drinking
Now Playing: It Ain’t Me by Kygo & Selena Gomez
✎ Preview: Kuroo continues to destroy his own life as he immerses himself in alcohol and women, desperately using them to drown you out. But he should’ve known about the consequences of his action.
Ch. I
Ch. II
Ch. III
Ch. IV
Ch. V
Epilogue
a/n: no excessive drinking please, don’t hinder your brain and health.
Falling in love wasn’t like those Nicholas Sparks movies. Falling in love for Akaashi Keiji was natural, like breathing, something you don’t even notice unless you really pay attention. Akaashi Keiji has been in love with you since 14, and he didn’t even notice until the day you called him, squealing, “guess who just asked me out?”
Akaashi Keiji watched as you fall deeper in love with Kuroo Tetsurou. Of course he was upset, but watching his best friend so happily in love made him smile. After all, isn’t love wanting the love of your life to be happy?
Yet, even after all these years, the little sharp pain in his heart never dulled once as you send him cute pictures of you and Kuroo out on dates, listening to you ramble about your fights, his romantic gestures etc...
So when you called him, voice filled with so much pain, “he cheated on me”, Akaashi Keiji ran like never before.
He opened the door with ease, only to see you so small, face full of angry tears that was released into a sob when he wraps you around his arms.
Keiji has never felt so much urge to punch someone in the face when Kuroo knelt in front of you begging for forgiveness. And though he’d never admit it, shutting the door in Kuroo’s face felt so good.
The first few months of healing was a blur to you. All you could clearly remember were two things, the overwhelming pain whenever you think of Kuroo and how sweet and thoughtful Akaashi was.
Slowly, bit by bit, words after words, hugs of immeasurable warmth, Akaashi pieced together your heart, stitching it back together with his love.
Akaashi watched you fall in love with him the same way he did with you, like breathing. So he didn’t say anything, he wanted it to be something you realized on your own.
It took you six months to realize you were in love with Akaashi Keiji.
Six months have passed since the Kuroo incident, it was another overtime, the boss finally letting you go. You walked out the company door, shivering slightly at the cold breeze.
“Y/n!” A familiar figure calls out. You were surprised to see Akaashi waiting for you with hot chocolates in hand.
“what are you doing here?” You asked him, heart warmed as he hands you the hot drink.
“Since you texted you’d be working late again today, I wanted to drop these off for you as a little boost of energy.”
“well great timing, the boss finally let me go. Wanna grab some late din din?”
Akaashi looks down at you, smiling sweetly, “sure, take out at yours?”
“and we can watch that new BNHA movie?” you asked, eyes gleaming with hope.
“sure.” He laughs, watching you do your little happy dance.
Back at home, Akaashi watches as you happily slurp your noodle, hitting his arms whenever an exciting part comes on. When the movie finally finishes, you leaned back against the sofa, watching Akaashi clean up the bowls and moving to the kitchen.
You watched as the black-haired setter move around in your kitchen, cleaning up the takeout boxes and realized how he fits so perfectly in your home, in your life...in your heart.
You walked over to him, heart thumping in your ears. He jumped slightly as your wrapped your arms around his waist, your face on his back.
“Y/n? what are you doing?”
You said muffled something that he couldn’t quite catch.
“what? you’re gonna have to speak louder.” He tries to turn around, but you grabbed onto the hem of his tshirt, stopping him.
“Don’t turn around, I don’t think I can say it if you’re looking at me.”
Akaashi’s heart was pounding as he anticipated your next words.
“I...I think I like you Keiji.”
He whirls around, “you think?”
You look down embarrassed, “I mean, I like you Keiji.”
He lifts you up by the chin, so he could look into your eyes.
“you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”
He leans in and kisses you with so much passion and love, you realized he must have been in love with you after all this time. So you kiss him back, head and heart finally devoid of Kuroo Tetsurou.
A few weeks have passed since his disastrous encounter with you. Kuroo lies in bed and glares up at the ceiling.
“Get up!”
“what do you want Kenma?”
Kenma pushes open the door, “it’s been two whole months and I'm sick of you destroying your life. It’s literally been clubs this entire time and strangers walking in and out of my house every morning. Also your room reeks of alcohol. If you keep this up, I’ll kick you out for reals.”
Kuroo knew Kenma was right, “I just...I just can’t find the motivation to live without Y/n.”
“Shut up already. After your second screw-up, I don’t even feel sympathy for you anymore. Get up. We’re going to lunch, you’re buying.”
Kuroo pushes himself off the bed. His phone buzzes, a unknown number flashes across his screen.
“aren’t you going to pick that up?”
“nah”.
Halfway across town, Akaashi unwraps himself from you.
“Keij, five more minutes!”
“darling, you said that ten minutes ago.”
You smiled, “I'm just tired, can’t we nap for bit longer please?”
Akaashi rolls his eyes at you playfully, “normally I’d say yes, but we actually have a reservation for lunch today. We’re meeting Bokuto and his girlfriend, remember?”
“oh yeah. It’ll be nice to see them again.”
Akaashi pulls you out of bed, kissing you on the forehead before getting ready himself.
Bokuto’s loud “hey hey hey” could be heard miles away. You and Akaashi laughs as Bokuto’s girlfriend reminds him to be quieter.
As the four of you walk into the restaurant, you come face to face with a familiar figure.
Out of all the places, you just had to run into Kuroo here.
Kuroo looks at you in shock, glancing back and forth between you and Akaashi, at his arms wrapped around your waist and the way you instinctively shifted closer to him when you saw Kuroo.
Kenma was the one to break the awkward silence, “Hey Y/n! Good to see you. How’ve you been?”
You smiled at Kenma, grateful for his presence, “Hey Kenma! It’s been a while. I’ve been good. How are you? How’s the company?”
Kuroo uses this chance to take a good look at you. Your hair have grown out longer now, curled beautifully. He notices the way your eyes shine brighter, Akaashi must’ve been treating you right. His eyes meets Akaashi’s, before clearing his throat and turning away.
“Anyhow, we’ve got to get to lunch now. I’ll see you around Kenma.”
You and Akaashi walk towards your table, not even bothering to spare Kuroo a glance.
Kuroo trails behind Kenma out of the restaurant, his phone buzzing in his pocket.
“Hey Kenma, I’m just gonna take this call real quick.”
Pulling out his phone, Kuroo sees the unknown number from this morning.
“Hello?”
“Hey Kuroo. It’s me, Aika. Do you have time right now? I need to tell you something.”
Kuroo searches his brain for an Aika, annoyed that he had given a one-night stand his number. “Sorry but I'm a little busy right now. Can’t you say this over the phone?”
He hears shuffling behind her, “okay um...”
Kuroo catches Kenma’s eyes, a look of panic in them.
“what did you say?”
“I’m pregnant.”
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My she ra rewrite ideas
Ive been thinking about this for a while and i dont think i would rewrite it, I have ideas of this rewrite so lets get started with the characters:
Adora: I would have her be olive/black (whichever you want) latina and have her hair be more wavy/curly (we were robbed of poc adora) I would also have her family motive be solved and resolved her confidence arc. Plus have her learn about how to use her s5 she ra powers more like have her make mistakes at first then get better.
Dt: I would have them be human (And poc like that one fanart) since its really rare to have non binary human representation. I would make have them be a shapeshifter through magic that they use (they had to learn about it by their grandfather who was a reptilian sorcerer) Their still greedy but i would want them to develop some care for people in the horde like the horde trio as dt gave them an out safely.
Perfuma: Have her be a latina as well, having to overcome her passive aggressiveness to others while not being outright aggressive, just having a balance of both plus her and entraptas relationship become better as closure for both. Her backstory is that most people in her kingdom including her parents are dead due to the invasion which she (she was very young at the time) and the community had to move to that place with the tree in hopes that the horde wont noticed, it explains why the town is quite small for a kingdom.
Mermista: I would have her learn to be a leader over the course of the show and be more open and kind to seahawk. Her backstory would be that her mother went to frostas kingdom to help frostas parents with how to protect themselves from the horde but she was never found. After a while, the father decides to go find his wife, ordering his assistant (who had a crush on him at the time) to take care of mermista while he goes on his mission however, her parents have died which the horde uses to its advantage by invading the kingdom that either killed people or made people move to somewhere else. Despite mermista being gloomy, she dis encourages frosta from that, encouraging her to embrace more of her kid side instead. She and frosta would have a sisterly relationship, learning from one another and sharing their personal experiences of their struggles and their past.
Frosta: I would have her be a cold traditionalist at first but then be more open and embrace a bit more of their kid side overtime, It wouldnt be like s2-5 though, just a bit while still maintaining that maturity.
Rogelio: He would mostly speak in sign language because other than dt (they would have a mini friendship in s4), everyone else in the horde doesnt understand his countries language. He remembers his life before the horde of him (around age 5), his family and his people until the horde came to invade it, so much so as to make rogelio one of the only people from his kind living as his parents beg the intruders from the horde to spare him so now rogelio is in the horde, working for the people that ruined his life. At first, hordax threatened rogelio that to not try to leave the horde or he'll be like the rest of his kind (dead) but later on, hordax does start to sympathize with rogelio, letting him and his friends leave. Despite hordax wanting to have closure with rogelio, rogelio refuses to and makes it clear that he'll never forgive hordax for what hes done and all he can do now is let him leave, so he did and he joined the rebellion with kyle and lonnie. He also deeply loves kyle (their in a queerplatonic relationship) but wouldnt stand up for him because of lonnie being his best friend but he would always try to get lonnie to be more nicer to him until he starts to stand up for kyle.
Lonnie: She looks up to adora and inspires to be like her and the two have a close friendship but with adora leaving, she felt betrayed and even through her hard work, catra happen to manage to be force captain instead (we'll get into why in hordaxs section) so she tries to lead the team in her own way instead. She was 'too blunt' to people like kyle because she thought if she was strict and honest (aka belittling/bullying), he would improve and succeed like how shadow weaver did to adora but it only stigmatizes their relationship until lonnie realises this and changes which slowly amends her and kyles relationship. When they left, they joined the rebellion and lonnie and adoras relationship would clear up misunderstandings and ammend which would blossom into a romantic relationship.
Kyle: Basically, I would have kyle stand up for himself and have scenes where he's the punching bag not a joke. Also what happened between him and bow wouldve had closure, bow would apologise to kyle for using him in no princess left behind. The two would make ammends and slowly become friends. Also him and rogelio are in a queerplatonic relationship that while kyle feels distant to rogelio at times since he use to not stand uo for him, their relationship has gotten better.
Seahawk: I wouldnt change that much about him tbh, just that he would learn to respect mermistas boundaries and maybe explore more of his insecurity of not being cool.
Thats all for today, I'll add more for pt2 (sorry if this isnt structured well or something, I hope i explained it clearly)
#spop critical#spop salt#lonnie#kyle#rogelio#the horde trio#seahawk#mermista#adora#lonnadora#double trouble#frosta#perfuma#she ra rewrite#txt
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and grace, my fears relieved
pairing: steve rogers x reader
word count: 2,623
summary: You meet someone new in the most unlikely of ways during the quarantine in New York City. A hospital isn’t the worst place to meet someone, right?
chapter warnings: swearing, both steve and the reader have covid-19, but neither die
masterlist
a/n: Let me know what you think!
The virus started out inconspicuously enough, with just a few cases here and there that everyone assumed would be quarantined and taken care of, but Steve was paranoid. How could he not be?
He’d been a sick kid. Real sick. And then when he was a teenager, he got some revolutionary kind of treatment for his heart and lungs and it was like his entire body had been kickstarted. He shot up a foot taller and gained over a hundred pounds.
He had the stretch marks to prove it.
Granted, he had to work a little to gain as much as he did. After the treatment, the weight gaining workouts and diet plans suddenly worked. He looked… normal. And then he buffed up. Real big.
It came in handy pretty often with his job. He had become a firefighter, and carrying people out of burning buildings was often part of the job.
Fires still happened in a quarantine. If anything, they happened more frequently because people were home and the number one cause of house fires was unattended cooking. A parent could be cooking any meal of the day and then their kid distracts them and boom. Fire.
So he worked overtime, day in and day out.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared. He was scared shitless.
It was like his ma used to say, back when she was alive, “Just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you run away. You fight back for what’s right.”
Sarah Rogers had been a lot smarter than people assumed. She was a former socialite, and an Irish Catholic one at that. Her parents had an absolute conniption when she’d fallen in love with a former convict. His dad had been in and out of jail for petty things.
It certainly hadn’t been her choice to fall in love with him. But she had told him that if he didn’t get his act together, she wasn’t going to be with him.
He’d straightened himself up and become an outstanding citizen.
But that hadn’t stopped her family from disowning her. Once she refused to break up with him, she was out. Out of their house, out of their wills, everything.
She went from wearing Valentino and Chanel to items picked out at Goodwill.
But Steve’s parents had loved him more than anything.
He’d become a firefighter just like his dad. He wanted to help people just like him, and well… That’s what he was doing now.
Or had been, until his throat had started to hurt. And when it hadn’t let up three days later, even after a plethora of cough drops and teas, he went to the hospital.
It had only been about a month since it really started and the first dozen cases showed up in New York City. He’d been cautious—overly cautious, some might say—but he still had to go to work. And who knows how many people he’d come into contact with that had the virus?
It was still early days. He was able to get the test, and for that, he was lucky.
But then he had to go home and wait.
And then he got the call. He had to immediately go back to the hospital to be quarantined. He’d been put in a hospital room that was usually used as a private room in the Emergency Room—a trauma room, they called it. Trauma Room 2.
All of their other hospital rooms were taken. It was a lot worse than anyone had let on.
He was there for about twenty minutes before you got there, clearly terrified and holding a duffel bag full of clothes so you wouldn’t just have to wear the scratchy ass hospital gowns.
He’d only thought to bring two different pairs of sweatpants and a few sweatshirts, as well as his usual pairs of jeans.
But he was quickly finding that those weren’t too comfortable to wear while being quarantined.
Maybe he’d be able to convince someone to run down to the hospital gift shop to grab him something to wear. Some Brooklyn Hospital sweats or something.
“Hey.”
He looked up from his tablet, looking for the source of the voice. God, he was so tired. And everything hurt. There was only so much that honey could do for his voice.
“Hey! Over here!” The voice broke off into a coughing fit, and it sounded nasty. Real nasty. The kind of coughing that hacks up a lung.
He gets up out of his bed with a grunt, feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. And not the big, strong shoulders he had no. The weak little skinny ones he had before. The ones where he could barely lift a gallon of milk in each hand without getting overworked.
You’re sitting on the ground, taking deep breaths as you try to catch your breath. “Hey,” you said with a weak smile. “You got any cough drops? I ran out and my nurse said she was gonna try to find me more two hours ago.”
There’s no medicine available to treat the virus. So they just treat the symptoms.
And there’s a severe shortage of cough medicine amongst the patients, but no one really mentioned that.
“Yeah,” he said as he walked over to his little bedside table. He opened the drawer, pushing the Bible left inside to the side and grabbing the cough drops. He grabbed four little individually wrapped pieces before dragging his feet back to the doorway.
He couldn’t lie, sitting down looked really nice right at that moment. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest just from walking that short distance. So he sunk to his knees and leaned back against the doorframe, on the opposite side that you were.
Even though he’d become a firefighter like his dad, he didn’t understand how he could have such a strong faith in God when things like this happened. Sitting across from you, seeing how tired and run down you looked, he wasn’t sure he believed at all. How could a God that claimed to be so benevolent and loving do this? Or at least not step in and do something to stop it?
“Did you bring the goods?” You asked with a bit of a laugh, before breaking off into a deep cough. “Fuck…”
“Me, too,” he said softly as he grabbed one of the cough drops and tossed it in your direction.
You groaned as it landed behind you, shooting him a glare. “Do I look like a basketball player to you?”
Steve let out a snort as he grabbed another one. “Okay, are you ready this time?” He asked, raising a single blonde brow.
“Oh, my god, yes. Please, just throw it,” you said, but there was a slight grin toying at the corner of your mouth.
“What’s the magic word?” He asked. This was, quite honestly, the most fun he’d had in ages.
You gave him a look that said you’d kill him if he didn’t give you a cough drop. “Give me a cough drop before I break down sobbing because it hurts so bad?” You deadpanned.
“Okay, okay. No need to get dramatic,” he said before he tossed another one. This one hit your forehead before falling into your lap.
“If you want dramatic, I can turn into a Disney princess right now,” you giggled. Your voice was weak, but it was hard to muster up the energy to talk sometimes. Actually, not even sometimes. Most times.
He watched you for a minute as you worked the wrapper of the cough drop off and popped it into your mouth. “I’m Steve. Steve Rogers.”
“Well, hello, Steve. Steve Rogers,” you said with a giggle, your words slightly distorted from the hard candy in your mouth. You gave him your name as he tossed you the other two cough drops.
It was nice to have someone to talk to. It had been four days since the two of you entered the hospital before you had called out to him. And yeah, he still had his phone. He texted and called Bucky everyday, but it wasn’t the same as having a face-to-face conversation.
It also kinda helped that you were really, really pretty, even when you were sick and exhausted.
In fact, he couldn’t remember anyone that he thought was as pretty as you.
“Stevie?” You said a week and a half later. It had gotten worse. So much worse. You had breathing tubes in, as well as an IV. His wasn’t as bad. He just required the IV.
Your nurses tried to get you to stay in your beds, but they soon gave up the fight, choosing instead to help the both of you move your chairs so you could talk to each other, separated by a hallway.
“Yeah, doll face?” Steve’s heart was hurting as he watched you with sad blue eyes. You were wrapped up in one of his hoodies, drowning in the fabric. He’d gotten Bucky to run by his apartment and grab him some more comfortable clothes, though he’d had to leave it with a doctor and wasn’t allowed to see him.
They couldn’t risk it. “They’re talking about a second wave,” you said as you wrapped your blanket tighter around you, pulling your knees up to your chest. “They wanna start opening things in late May… But it’s too early… I…” You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding against your rib cage. “I’m so scared, Stevie.”
“Hey…” There was nothing he wanted more than to be able to walk across the hall and take you into his arms. “Whatever happens, you’ve got me. You hear me? We’re in this together, okay? And we’re gonna make it. We’re gonna make it because we gotta.”
That night, he waited for the lights to go out and for the nurses to switch over to the night shift. A lot of the nurses weren’t as vigilant about taking care of them as the day shift, and he knew he could use that to his advantage.
He knew this was risky, but he had to do it.
Steve carefully got out of bed and dragged his monitor behind him, taking slow measured steps. He’d waited about an hour after rounds, knowing that they wouldn’t be coming for another three. It gave him plenty of time. He tiptoed across the hall after ensuring that the coast was clear, slipping into your room.
The room was bathed in a soft blue light coming from the open curtains, a billboard outside flashing. You looked so peaceful, finally asleep after tossing back and forth for hours. The blue tones glistened against your soft skin. You were so quiet that his eyes instinctively flickered over to the heart monitor, listening to the quiet beeping that reassured him that you were alive.
He wobbled the chair over to the side of your bed, being careful not to drag it so it didn’t squeak and alert a nurse or doctor. When it was finally in place, he sunk into it with a relieved sigh.
Your nose scrunched up at the faint noise.
“Dollface,” he whispered as he gently caressed your cheek, his heart pounding. This was the first time he’d ever gotten to touch you. This was the first time he’d been close enough to even attempt it.
Your eyes fluttered open, blinking sleepily at him. “Stevie?”
“Hey…,” he said softly as he traced the patterns of her face. “It’s me… Don’t worry…”
“What are you doing here?” You asked, her voice a hoarse whisper. “We’re supposed to be—”
“I know,” he said as he gently scratched your scalp. “But I’m worried… And you need me.”
You slowly relaxed back against your pillow as your eyes searched his face. He liked when you were soft like this.
Well, he liked you all the time, but still. He liked you most when you were sleepy and relaxed.
“How are you feeling?”
With a shrug, you let your eyes close again. “I don’t know… I’ve been better.” A sigh escaped your lips as you opened your eyes again, trying your best to not melt too far into him. You didn’t want to fall asleep when this was the first time you’d gotten to feel him near. “We’re lucky… Our cases aren’t as bad as what others are going through…”
That was true. Others were on respirators, going into comas. You two were lucky.
And he was so grateful for that.
“I was thinking…,” he murmured.
A snort. “That’s never good.”
He gave you a look, raising his brows. “Apparently people aren’t… completely better even after they’re cleared of the virus…,” he said. He was watching your face carefully for any sign of a reaction. “And I live alone. And you said you have roommates but two of them are considered essential workers, which means there’s a risk of you getting it again… And I was just thinking…”
“Yeah?...” You probed, sitting up a little.
“We’re gonna need someone to help us… without risking the others that we love, and I just…” He coughed to clear his throat, his cheeks red. “I was thinking maybe you could move in for a little while? Maybe until all this has passed? And we can… we can…”
Your eyes flickered over his face. “We can take care of each other?”
Steve nodded, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat. “Yeah. We can take care of each other… I’ll have your back and you’ll have mine. And maybe it’s quick, but... ”
Can’t you feel it? He wanted to ask. Can’t you feel this thing between us? This connection that was found and fostered in possibly the darkest time of this generation’s existence? This love that made me think that maybe there is a Grace in the world? Because otherwise, how the hell would I have been able to find you?
But he knew that was probably a lot, even if the feeling he had when he looked at her was a little bit more than like.
“But… you barely know me.”
“That’s not true,” he breathed out quietly, a finger running down your jaw. “I know about your family. I know your first pet’s name and where it’s buried. I know that you like white Christmas lights over rainbow because you like how it can look like snow if it’s done right.”
Tears were in your eyes, your cheeks flushed as you listened to him.
A smile crept up on his lips. “I know you like the citrus flavored cough drops, and you have to sleep with a blanket on, even if it’s eighty degrees outside. I know how much you love cheesy rom-coms and you can only watch horror movies at night because otherwise you’ll have nightmares.” His forehead rested against hers, your noses brushing. “I know you. And I wanna take care of you. When we get out of here, I don’t want to forget you. I want to spend my life with you. And maybe that’s too much too soon and more than a little cheesy, but—”
“Stevie…” You were the one who leaned in first and pressed your lips to his, the salty taste of your tears mixing in with your peppermint chapstick. “I’m not easy to take care of. I’m even more stubborn when I’m feeling helpless like I am now…”
“That’s okay,” he said as he pecked your lips again, letting it linger. The two of you knew that a nurse could come down the hall any second and catch you, but it didn’t matter. You were together and you were alive. “I don’t need easy. I just need you.”
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Another one for the darkest fears collection:
Besides still being terrified of the dark two decades into life, I have two somewhat specific? Fears that are why I am scared of the dark. As far back as I can remember, the only things I have ever been scared of are humans-but-a-little-bit-off. Ive always been scared of A) someone (something?) Entering my room at night through the door or looking out the window and seeing someone watching me or B) looking in the mirror at night and seeing something human-but-something-feels-off or I have turned into that thing. Make what you will of it, but the moment I can't see anymore I feel like somethings there watching me and I always have to sleep facing my closed door at night. I was a creepy kid too and would tell my mom about the people I saw in the house when I was little and scare all my friends, but was never afraid. The closest thing I have ever seen to it in media is Bob from Twin Peaks, of all things -- my bf recently made me watch the series with him but otherwise I swear there's no where I could have seen it growing up.
ah yes, perhaps humankind’s oldest fear. you know, it’s very interesting that this fear of the dark comes hand-in-hand with a fear of the uncanny. I’ve often thought about the fact that many people, from all over the world and from various different cultures, all seem to fear the same kind of traits. human-but-not, too long, too disproportional, mouths too wide, teeth too sharp, eyes too dark, moving around in an animalistic way. I’ve seen people say that this kind of innate fear is because it coincides with corpses, which would be a normal thing to be wary of, but I don’t know what kind of corpses these people have seen. to me it seems more likely that back in humanity’s early days, there was something like-us-but-not; something that perhaps hunted us, and thanks to their large, dark eyes, probably did so at night. considering the fact that at one point, homo sapiens were not the only human/human-like species in existence, I do wonder if there’s something to it.
as for the mirror, that’s at least understandable. looking into a mirror in low lighting or darkness creates a strange effect where the brain begins to piece together the things it expects to see. this can result in faces warping, reflections apparently moving when you’re not, eyes and mouths growing darker/bigger, etc. of course, there’s a lot to be said for mirrors and the paranormal, but from my experience in very dark places the brain does a lot of weird things. I remember once being deep in a cave system and turning off my light just to see what true darkness looked like, and despite the fact there was not a single bit of light to be found down there, after only thirty seconds or so I began to see movement. it looked like things were flickering in front of my face or moving in my peripheral vision; I could also quite clearly hallucinate my own blurred hand when I waved it in front of my face. the brain isn’t wired for little input. when it’s exposed to it, it absolutely will start working overtime to compensate for the fact, often resulting in some strange phenomena.
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i realized ive never talked abt my holocron heist ocs so im dumping that here
the characters:
Njall Aukkuul - born and raised on Mandalore and inheriting his armor from his father in Death Watch, Njall works for an eclectic art deal and does whatever it takes for his client to be happy. While willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, he’s still pretty level headed and compassionate.
Jetaida Okis - only a youngling during the Jedi purge, Jet was smuggled out of Coruscant by master Katha, a miraluka jedi archivist who’s force vision gave them just enough time to escape. For many years in secret, Katha trained Jet in the force and groomed her into becoming her archivist successor, until the inquisitors found and killed Katha and recruited a young Jet. already disillusioned with the Jedi from her master’s teachings, Jet took to her new job as a jedi hunter well enough until she realized the sith were unsustainable. Stealing as many sith artifacts as she could, Jet went into hiding, devoting her life to collecting all of the knowledge of the force, whether it be sith or jedi. She still has her inquisitor saber and made a second double bladed saber from parts from Katha’s and Pwir’s lightsabers, which she wields at the same time by floating them around with the force.
Zephyr Liloc - a nautolan jedi padawan during the jedi purge, Zephyr managed to survive for a time with his master Idenzo Pwir. unfortunately, pwir had a vision of Jet, who he had brought to the order as an infant, and Katha, his friend since he was a padawan, and went to try to find them. He failed to protect them from the inquisitors, leaving Zephyr by himself. He works in hiding as a mechanic and laborer while still trying to emulate the values of a jedi. He still has his blue lightsaber.
Odaahsa Seshroks - a spice runner and one of the the best pilots out of Nal Hutta, togruta Odaahsa could retire from the small fortune she’s earned herself but enjoys the thrill of running too much. She’s been happily married to Topa’koti for years, her gentle and calm nature balancing her wife’s agressive one.
Topa’koti - twi’lek Topa’koti (or Koti, if you’re Odaahsa) is a successful assassin for the Hutts who enjoys her work a little too much. The Butcher of Nar Shaddaa has little kindness for anyone but her wife, who she actively dotes on, though the other members of the crew may be worming their ways in. While she revels in violence, she can always be trusted to offer a creative and level headed approach to any problem.
Bit - odaahsa’s reprogrammed destroyer droid from the clone wars, Bit doesn’t roll as well as they once used to but is still great at defending the ship and Odaahsa while the rest are away.
the story:
set right before the mandalorian, while the republic and Jedi order are starting to rebuild. Njall’s boss comes across an ancient holocron and doesn’t quite understand what it is, but he knows he wants it open without the republic knowing. so, he hires Njall to find someone who can open it, which in turn leads Njall to bring on Koti and Odaahsa as partners in the assignment bc a fat paycheck was promised. They track down Jet, who is interested bc new force knowledge, so she opens it, revealing some ancient sith fuckery that would be very dangerous for anyone to know about, republic or sith. In an effort to find more information out about it, they run into Zephyr, who joins them bc 1) jet is alive??? and 2) he doesn’t want any ancient sith fuckery unleashed upon the galaxy.
they realize the only way theyre gonna get info on this ancient sith device is through other ancient sith holocrons, so they form a fucking heist team, stealing from other collectors and hidden temples until they compile enough knowledge to understand the threat (which im leaving vague bc im not clever enough to come up with something). They also fight over what should be done with these holocrons: Njall wants to give them to his boss, Jet wants to keep them, Zephyr thinks they should go to the new jedi order, Koti thinks it should be sold to the highest bidder, and Odaahsa thinks it should be destroyed before it can hurt anyone.
Overtime, they become a found family and settle on creating an independent, uncensored library of all of the knowledge they collected from both the Jedi and the Sith. Jet serves as the archivist of the library, restoring and curating old artifacts so that any knowledge lost to time or the empire’s censorship can be brought back while still understanding the failings of the jedi.
extra bits:
this is a convoluted way for me to dissect my thoughts on museums dont judge me lmao
njall and zephyr end up together. these bitches gay
jet has vitiligo on her scalp, turning parts of her hair white. Zephyr has a bunch of different spots like a leopard gecko. Their nicknames for each other since Jet was 2 is “stripes” and “spots”
Pwir also raised them like siblings and doted on Jet despite her NOT being his padawan. kind of like ahsoka and plo
a common strat they use in heist evacuations is for njall to pick jet up while zooming around on his jetpack and she just lets her lightsabers fly all around them like a death helicoptor
#there is no obligation to read this lmao its a lot#ramblings#SOMEDAY I WILL MAKE CONTENT FOR YOU ALL#jet okis#njall#odaahsa#koti#zephyr liloc#long post
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a ramble abt humes, anomalies, and other weird things
ok so basically ive had these thoughts rolling around in my head for a while now, and with egos post from awhile ago ive been having even more of these thoughts so i decided to put them down on paper. i apologize if these seem a bit incoherant as im not really good at putting whatever my mind comes up with into words, but i wanted to share these so. here goes nothing.
so, ego was talking abt how the longer you are behind the veil or working with anomalies, the more non human or anomalous you get. now this ties into humes in an interesting way… if you dont know what humes are, id suggest reading these two articles as well as these four supplements on thaumatology and reality bending to get a better grip on what im saying, or you could click the read more below for the quotes i based this whole rant off of. but anyways! as one of the articles describes, the hume levels of reality benders are abnormally high, and the area around them abnormally low. so! how does all this sciencey mumbo jumbo tie into egos theory? well, you remember the law of diffusion from science class yes? and how particles tend to move from high concentration to low concentration? (this is also mentioned in scp 3001!) so! what if when one spends enough time around anomalies, the abnormal hume levels the anomalies generate would “rub off” of said person, thus making them anomalous as well. this also ties into one of the three basic principles of thaumatology: “like produces like”. now i may be stretching the rules here, but as one of the big rules of the scp wiki states, “there is no true canon”, so i can do what i want. the whole “rubbing off” thing would also explain how quite a few of the researchers (at least, the ones that survive long enough) end up with an anomalous quality or two(eg king, gerald, iceberg)
not only that, but this also ties into how and why the foundation operates, or how i think it does, at least. you see, another rule of thaumatology is “Observation Changes Reality”. this, when combined with “Like Produces Like” and “The Part Affects The Whole”, can be expanded to mean that anomalies can “spread”. there is another thing that supports this as well, nexuses! nexuses are “population centers that also seem to attract anomalous amounts of anomalous activity”(mind the tongue twister), so if an area has a high enough number of anomalies, it can cause a snowball effect and drastically increase the anomalousness of said area. an example of this could be boring, oregon, where wilsons wildlife solutions takes place. now, keep in mind this is all purely speculation and just my version of canon so im obviously stretching things a bit! but!! what if the foundation is so crazy about keeping normalcy because if the whole world were to know and believe in magic, a situation like in competitive eschatology could happen? this is nicely explained from this lengthy quote from this magic orientation: “if everyone outside of Sigma-3 all became Type Blues like me — then our perspective on the world would change. And if that happened, we might not be able to hold back dangers to reality any longer….It could be the end of containment, forever. The end of the Foundation's preservation of normalcy. And then we'd all be at the mercy of all the horrible things out there, the old gods and demons that would ensure humanity does nothing but huddle in caves around campfires and scratch on the walls, forever…. And it ends with being unable to believe that Cthulhu can be contained behind sheets of steel and walls of stone.” this, is why the foundation operates, or at least how my version of the foundation operates. if the serpents hand or the chaos insurgency were to get their way, humanity would be more at risk of all the paranormal dangers in the world. of course, there is a big hole in this theory, that being how in the hell could the rest of the anomalous world not know about this??? one explanation could be that they do know, and just dont care, as both the hand and chaos wish to change the world to be more anomalous in some way. another, more implausible explanation is that this whole thing is simply overlooked in favor of the groups respective goals. again, this whole thing is really cobbled together and based off of a few lines from the wiki that i interpreted in my own way and this whole rant quite frankly kind of chaotic, so i apologize if some things dont make sense or if there are a few holes in this theory.
So, bluh, thats my whole little rant/theory abt my scpverses rules n shit. I apologize for the general incoherence of this whole thing as my mind jumped around alot while writing this lol
SOURCES:
“A Hume is a way to determine the strength and/or amount of reality in a given area”
“reality surrounding them (reality benders) is usually slightly less real than normal. Secondly, their own personal Hume reading is usually a little higher than is normal”
“like affects like, and like produces like, too”
“The third and final way is to change the world, or wait for the world to change.”
"First of all… remember those three basic principles: Like Produces Like. The Part Affects the Whole. Observation Changes Reality.”
“Every time you utilize Aspect Radiation to make a change in reality, it bounces off the fundamental fabric of existence and causes a secondary effect called Backlash.”
"What you're seeing in the COLLICULUS headset is the EVE energy being given off by you and your classmates. You'll see that different people have different color and shape patterns.”
-these readings can fluctuate in vanilla humans
“And that means… overtime… the Hume field's going to want to… equalize,”
Nexuses. You probably know of them. Nexuses are population centers that also seem to attract anomalous amounts of anomalous activity
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I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt
This photo is from way back in ’98 at my first headline nyc show at tramp’s before the start of this very wild ride with the slim shady lp with jimmy and dr dre definitely a I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt special time I looked back on after watching the premiere of thedefiantones in la the series starts on hbo tomorrow night also be on the lookout for this limited merch to celebrate the premiere. ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ no one has to know your age unless you want to share says fan linda about her eye lift pro experience what else gives you a lift our vote goes to chocolate chip cookies comment below your avon representative is ready to come 2therescue with your eye lift pro. Playing the super bowl last year was indescribable it changed my life so excited to see what justin s going to do I know it will be amazing sb52 superbowl superbowl52
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So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i��m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn See Other related products: I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt
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The Truth You Can’t Hide IV
KIM JUNMYEON (SUHO) x Fem Reader
Chapter 4 [The Truth You Can’t Hide MASTERLIST]
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 ongoing
You did it so well for six years. You’ve hid your son from the biggest threat of his life. But one mishap led to the biggest secret in your life being face to face with the man you’ve kept him away from all these years - his father.
Mafia!AU, Angst.
Each muscle of your feet started to ache as the clock struck eight, the current case the law firm you worked as a paralegal in required you to go overtime. You’ve had an internal agreement with yourself to stay in the firm and distance yourself from Junmyeon’s line of work, as you know that his two separate businesses will always coincide with the other - and you wouldn’t want both of Jaejin’s parents to have an indecent track record.
Only a few lights are lit at this time of the night, most of your officemates already in the comforts of their own home and family. An empty sigh of exhaustion escaped your lips as you sat back on your chair, freeing your feet from the tormenting heels before neatly stacking and organizing the paperwork left on your table. Organizing the case files by urgency as you plan to get your hands on it eagerly the first thing tomorrow.
“Did Mr. Goo request you on overtime again? You should take a rest.” A sudden voice spoke behind you, making you turn around. You see Atty. Zhang, one of the associate lawyers in the firm. His cripst white dress shirt neatly tucked in his black pants as he leaned over the table next to yours.
“No, Sir. I did it voluntarily. I’m really absorbed on this recent case.” You said with a light chuckle, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the day.
You heard him take light footsteps on the way closer to your desk, eventually you saw Atty. Zhang’s hands over the pile of paperwork on your desk. “Is this the one regarding the sexual harrasment case of that actor…” He snapped his fingers three times, apparently thinking about the name that’s on the tip of his tongue. “Seojoon? Bang Seo Joon?”
“Yes, I’ve been re-reading his sworn statements and the victim’s.” You stated as he read through the pages of the case file.
“This file’s been through a lot.” He said, smiling over the littered highlights and notations you’ve made all throughout the paper. “Now tell me if there’s anything you’ve found. Are we on the losing end here?”
“There has been inconsistencies with the victim’s sworn statements. Like how she said that Mr. Bang and her met around dinner at that Monday, but she has also stated that her shift as a waitress ends at closing time. She had once said that he went on a date with Mr. Bang on a Tuesday the week prior, so both Monday and Tuesday couldn’t have been her off days. And the timeline of the alleged harassment doesn’t quite add up. There’s a lot of lapses here and there.”
“You’ve really put your mind on this haven’t you? I’m impressed. Poor SeoJoon must’ve been framed.” He said smiling at you, the wells of his cheeks showing as adorable dimples as he shone his bright teeth in amazement. “But you need to rest for now, the case can wait for another day, don’t you think?”
“I’m actually on my way out.” You explained as your hands tidied your desk a bit more, putting the scattered pens and pencils back on the green holder just on the corner of the black modern table.
“I’ll come with you, then.” Mr. Zhang said with a hearty smile.
Your way down the building was filled with short talks, including of which where he asked you to plainly call him Yixing as the both of you are in the same age. It would be an understatement to describe him as attractive, he’s magnetic - naturally absorbing every attention and respect by everyone graced by his presence. Yet oddly humble despite being aware of his huge presence. Yixing know how enticing he is, yet he doesn’t impose the fact on anyone. Just letting his trait speak for itself.
“Where are you parked?” He asked, suddenly rising from your shared laughters as you both walk out of the building.
“I take a cab to work.” You answered simply as a matter of fact.
“Are you serious?” Yixing responded in shock, “Do they really pay paralegals that low here?”
“No, it’s just that I haven’t had time yet to renew my license and fix papers for a new car, you know. It’s a hassle.” You explained.
“Lucky you tonight, “cause I’m morally obliged to give you a ride.” He said lightheartedly, his chuckle low and baritone that it just lingers in your ear.
“You don’t need to.” You waved your hands to accentuate your declination, yet the smile on his eyes told you that he’s insisting.
“Who told you I’m taking no for an answer?” And with his bright smile emphasised with his charming dimples, you wouldn’t even dare to say no.
Only a few minutes in the ride, your phone flashed with a text from Junmyeon. Reading that he and Jaejin are out for dinner in a nearby restaurant and that as per your son’s request, both of them are waiting for you.
“You know that Japanese restaurant near the station?” You asked Yixing, to which he answered a simple yes. “Can you drop me off there instead? Someone just texted and I’ll be meeting them there.”
“Sure thing.” He responded with a chuckle, which stirred a confused look from you on the shotgun seat. “I almost thought you’d ask me out for dinner there.”
His implication made you blush, something that you haven’t experienced for a while. “I’m sorry to get your hopes up.” You said with a chuckle rhyming his.
“Too bad for me, I guess.” Another few laughters was all that you shared while he drove silently. Not yet developing a dynamic beyond being coworkers resulted in an odd silent tension between the two of you. As if feeling that both parties want to speak yet not finding the courage to do so.
“How long have you been working in the firm again?” Yixing spoke, finally ending the tormenting ill-at-ease silence.
“Barely three months.” You answered as-a-matter-of-fact.
“That’s odd.” He simply remarked, sensing a sheer curiosity on the tone of his voice. You expressed a simple hum in the guise of an inquiry. “I mean, three months yet as far as I remember this is the first time we talked properly. Aside from you asking me for staples, of course.”
The growing blush on your cheeks finally bloomed when he spoke of that incident. It was the early weeks of your job in the firm, hardly even familiar to everyone in the workplace. Marking probably the first time you noted of Yixing’s existence, his youthful appearance made you think he was just one of the interns or a paralegal. Atty. Goo was a man who values his time, one that is always in a rush that’s why being assigned in his team challenged you. That day, you were running late for work - your cousin who was supposed to take care of Jaejin was a quarter of an hour late arriving at your home. You carried the files, or bundles of paper which aren’t stapled to Atty. Goo’s liking just yet. That’s when you came across him, carrying his leather suitcase and a cup of coffee, just when panic started to kick in.
“Uhm.. Hi!” You waved your right hand as your left hand tightly gripped the bunches of papers, your feet dashing in front of him. “I’m new here, as much as I would like to do a proper introduction Mr. Goo needs these papers almost five minutes ago, so could you be my savior and lend me some staples?” You tried to flash your sweetest smile, maybe charming people would still work.
“Hold a second.” He answered with his pearly white, magazine cover teeth showed. Probably laughing at how ridiculous you look for your new job. He put down his still steaming cup of coffee on the table nearest to the both of you, before scanning his bag for the said tool. Retrieving a few staple pins in his bag a few seconds later. “This enough?”
“Yes! Thank you so much!” You rushed and not-so-carefully put the pages of case files and statements on the same table. Loading your stapler with the pins and organizing the pages by its groups.
The moment you finished the dreaded task, the striking man was long gone by your side. And you quickly rushed to Atty. Goo’s room, politely apologizing for the delay as you laid down the papers at his desk.
It was later that day that you discovered that the man you ambushed for staples earlier was no intern, nor a paralegal. Just outside Atty. Goo’s room, you saw the office that has been unoccupied for the first few days you’ve been there at the firm. They said that Atty. Zhang was back at China for personal reasons. And now he’s obviously back, and missing a few staple pins in his arsenal.
“Don’t bring that back! Please.” You covered your face from his sight with your left hand in embarrassment. “It was so awkward for me to talk to you afterwards.”
“It wasn’t a big deal, really. I found it oddly adorable, even.” Yixing noted. “I mean, I don’t look that old enough to be one of the lawyers, don’t I?” He said, a notion of cockiness evident in his statement.
And he was just being truthful, the firm was filled by tenured and accomplished lawyers already in their 50’s. It was a shock to learn that he was among them. A tall, singularly handsome and well versed young lawyer already making his mark in the city.
“This is the place, isn’t it?” He pointed to the right, a remarkably cosmopolitan Japanese restaurant in the wealthiest areas of Seoul. “Are you going on a date? This seems to be too extravagant for a simple dinner. Expensive taste.”
“It’s not a date. Easy to say that this person I’m meeting is a little bit too loaded in their bank account.” You said lightheartedly, to which Yixing also responded with a light laughter. “Thanks for the ride, Yixing.”
Before your hand even opened the door, he was able to hold you back by speaking again. “I was wondering if I could keep my hopes up and actually take you out for dinner some time.”
Your eyes almost widened at his indication. “Is this dinner in line of work or…”
“A date? Most preferably so.” He answered as his fingers lightly played with the steering wheel, signifying uneasiness or even nervousness.
“Oh.”
“Does that oh means you acknowledge my statement or does it indicate that you’re declining the proposal?” Yixing’s choice of words made you feel like a defendant in inquisition.
“It meant that oh, I didn’t expect to be in the receiving end of such proposal. But I’ll keep the offer in mind.” You playfully reciprocated his legalese tone.
“How long would the processing take?” Yixing asked back.
“Three working days.”
“Noted, see you on Friday?” He replied, understanding what you meant quicker than lightning. He flashed his charmingly irresistible smile yet again that made you flash one in return.
“See you, Atty. Zhang.”
The dinner was spent with Jaejin’s juvenile astonishment over the fact that fish can be eaten raw. Despite the fact that you haven’t allowed him to eat sashimi just yet, he was already looking forward on the day you’ll let him do so, settling on a good bowl of traditional and expensive ramen. And it’s in these times that you realize how close the two have gotten. How Jaejin and Junmyeon would share inside jokes that would leave you wondering on your own. The fact that the two already have bonded this tight relationship between the two of them that no one can penetrate. And that’s still in spite of Jaejin’s lack of knowledge regarding who Junmyeon really is in his life.
And you’d be lying if you don’t admit to yourself that your life has been easier with Junmyeon in it again. You don’t even have to work the long hours just to make sure that you’ll be able to save enough money for Jaejin’s future while still making all ends meet. Junmyeon already opened a trust fund under your son’s name. The hassle of looking for someone to take care of him while at work was now long gone, with Jaejin having his own sitters that Junmyeon grew up with himself. He was already taking the majority of the parental roles even before he was formally introduced as his father.
“Goodnight, Mama. I love you.” Jaejin declared with a youthful smile on his face just after he finished his nightly prayer. To which you answered the same sentiments before kissing his forehead and eventually walking out of the room.
It was agreed upon you and Junmyeon for you to take the guest room. As Jaejin is now old enough to sleep on his own. And your habitual over time at work could cause a sense of discomfort to Jaejin if he’s still dependent at your presence for sleep.
You were stunned to see Junmyeon standing outside Jaejin’s room after you shut the door. “Oh, Hi.”
“Hey.” He answered thriftily. A few seconds have passed and nobody dared to talk, and all you were able to muster was raising your eyebrows.
“Who were you with earlier?” Junmyeon asked curiously.
“Huh? What?” You didn’t quite catch what he was pertaining to.
“Who dropped you off earlier? I recognized that a Tesla was too extra to be just a cab.” You tried to sense any hint of emotion in his voice yet it just came off as a casual question.
“Oh, it was someone from work.” You started walking, your steps rhyming with the cadence of his feet.
“Workmate or… you know, someone.” He stalled, and you understand the connotation.
“Workmate that kind of just expressed that he wanted to take me out on a date. Kinda.” You couldn’t help but chuckle as you remember that Yixing, an eligible bachelor as one could get, has just asked you out on a date.
“So.. are you going?” Junmyeon’s eyes shrunk in curiosity.
“Yeah. I mean he’s nice, undoubtedly attractive. Would be dumb to not give him a shot don’t you think?” You replied, still wearing a smile on your face.
“I mean, you look excited. So I guess why not.” Junmyeon smiled back, but something in your guts just told you that it was visibly forced.
“We wouldn’t have a problem with us having relationships right?” You tested the waters, as this relationship - cohabitation, coparenting, or whatever the two of you shared surely need to be clarified with bounds soon.
“Yeah, yeah. No worries. We could go both live our lives, of course with Jaejin as priority.”
“Of course. Another thing, I don’t think this would last much anyway. He doesn’t know yet that I have a son, whatever this is would probably end once he knows. I’ll just consider it as a dry run whether or not I still have it in me to be something for someone.” You continued as both of you approached the hallway where you would eventually part ways.
“If he does that, it means he’s an asshole. And it will be his loss, his great loss.” Junmyeon smiled briefly and noticeably faint.
You cleaned your hands on the apron that hung on your neck, dusting its material with a good amount of flour. Finally lining the pan with butter before pouring in the mix and eventually letting nature do its thing once you put it inside the preheated oven. Sitting on the chair at the kitchen island and a lonesome red juicy apple in hand, you just let yourself to detach from reality as you relaxed. The piling paperwork slowly creeping up your sanity, and your only solace was Jaejin’s hugs at night - and maybe the few jubilant smiles that you and Yixing share at work.
The past two days saw a rise of interactions between the two of you. Earlier, he even dropped by your desk to give a thoughtful warm cup of coffee when he saw you taking piles of papers head on. And Yixing’s brand new presence is your life is refreshing. To relinquish that juvenile feeling of excitement is a good thing to feel every once in a while, and for you it’s really been a while.
“How’s parent life with ex holding up?” Your quiet thoughts were invaded by a man who you didn’t notice sit in front of you.
“Minseok. I didn’t see you there.” You said, your widened eyes by shock looking at his feline features.
“I could tell, pretty sure that apple’s gone dizzy from rolling over your hands too much.” He joked, where you answered a laugh to. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How’s things?”
“Well, obviously a lot has changed since you’ve last seen me.” And the last time he has seen you, aside from the unfateful meeting at the mall, was more recent than anyone would expect.
“Yeah, I mean he walks now.” Minseok lightly tapped his fingers on the granite countertop. “Last time I saw him he still needs to be carried everywhere.” You just smiled at the thought, before he continued. “And the biggest change could be the fact that Jun knows now.”
“Probably the biggest change.” You replied.
The scorching heat of Los Angeles hasn’t gotten into your system yet. Your palms and back sweaty and tired from carrying all the grocery bags which you held with much caution. You’re body’s carrying too much, all these produce, milk cartons, and of course the baby that’s growing in your stomach. Struggling to put down the bags as you couldn’t quickly squat, you curse yourself again for deciding to go through this alone.
“Need some help?” An oddly familiar voice presented itself beside you, making a chill run down your spine. He couldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be here.
“Minseok…” You said in shock, your hands quickly lowering the grocery bags in an attempt to hide your 20 weeks pregnant stomach.
“Let me get that, Y/N.” He stepped forward as he softly retrieved the grocery bags from your hands. Your stunned figure unable to protest nor to say anything. “Could you open your door now?”
“Yeah…” You answered with a nod, still unable to process his presence while getting your keys from your shoulder bag.
Still silent, you both entered your small apartment. Barely decent enough for the way you were brought up. But this is all that you have now, and it’s better than nothing. The past four months were the hardest for you. A twenty two year old expectant mother cut off by her influential family and left alone to live and make ends meet in a foreign land. Tough luck, tough life, you thought.
“Where should I put these milk, in the fridge or…” Minseok asked yet you’re quick to cut him off.
“Did he send you here?” You looked in his easily distinguishable eyes, now painted with imminent confusion. “Junmyeon, did he send you here?”
“Send me? I’m not his employee.” He answered with a short almost humorless laugh. “I’ve been in LA for business the past few weeks. Didn’t expect to see you while doing groceries, found a familiar face, so I trailed you down. Too creepy?”
“Does he know?” You asked, not bothering with the small courtesies as you were more nervous of the possibilities of finding him here.
“Where you’re at? Probably. He probably still keeps track of you.” Your breath hitched at Minseok’s response. “That you’re pregnant? I highly doubt. If he does, he wouldn’t let you live alone in this barely modest apartment.”
Your hand uncontrollably caressed your bump, a sense of protectiveness flowing all over you. “Would you tell him?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.” There was sincerity in his voice, and you know Minseok is a man of his words. “Junmyeon is my friend, but you are too.”
He slowly walked over your form that just sat on the sofa. “But first you need to make me understand why you left him and why you’re living in this…” He looked around the bare white walls, the undeniable lack of furnishings and decor “..sad excuse for a home, with no offense meant.”
“Suho.” You dryly answered with almost a whisper, folds forming in his face in your response. “I didn’t leave Junmyeon. I left Suho. Whatever he is, I don’t want my son to do anything with him.”
“You know, don’t you?” You asked him again even before he was able to form any answer.
“I…” He started off, still processing any suitable answer. “I am aware of that, yes.” He slowly nodded, finally sitting down the uncomfortable wooden chair in front of you. “How did you…”
“Your friend was stupid enough to leave a folder full of transactions where I could read it.” You answered bitterly, still unable to accept the harsh truth behind the man you so dearly loved.
“Does he know that you… know?” Minseok was obviously careful in choosing his words, not wanting to upset a pregnant friend.
“You think I’ll be here if he’s aware that I know his dirty secret?” You said with a humorless laugh. “I don’t think I’d even be alive if so.”
“Come on, it’s not the best money maker but Junmyeon wouldn’t kill you. Not in a million years.” You just responded by shaking your head. “But, why are you here? And why in a place like this? I mean, it’s nice that you’re independent. But… isn’t this a little too low for your taste?”
“My parents cut me off when they discovered I’m pregnant. I begged them not to tell Junmyeon, had to make an excuse in my own expense just for them to not to lash it out on him. Told them the baby wasn’t his, a result of a drunken one night stand at a high end bar. Told me I was a disgrace for letting such a man as Junmyeon go, called me a whore for being pregnant with a random stranger. So I guess here I am.” A bitter taste still lingers in your mouth as you relayed what hell you’ve went through.
“But you don’t need to go through all of these, you could tell Junmyeon and..” You decided to cut him off even before he finishes his ill advice.
“And have my child live off the money he makes by breaking the law and ruining people’s lives? I’d rather stay here, Min.” You stated, not even considering to bend your moral compass.
He just sat there, an uncomfortable silence grew between the two of you as he struggled to digest the information. Minseok looked as if he’s thinking for an advice he could give or any action he could take.
“I wouldn’t tell Junmyeon, I wouldn’t tell anyone in one condition.” He finally spoke, which you just nodded for him to proceed. “Let me help you. You’re still my friend, and Junmyeon is my friend, it would be rightful for me to help your child. I can’t let you stay here knowing a baby is on the way.”
“Another thing, you couldn’t stay here any longer. Junmyeon probably has his men tracked on you, and you need to lose them before your belly grows too much to hide. I know a place.”
Minseok kept in contact with you, and he kept his promise too. There has hardly been any indication that Junmyeon was aware of your whereabouts, or the fact that he knocked you up. Minseok was even the one to help you arrange fees in the hospital when you gave birth. He’s an heir to a trademarked coffee shop line that has hundreds of branches so you took no guilt in accepting his offer.
“We kinda lost contact after Jaejin turned two. What happened?” He asked, swirling the contents of his glass making a sound of ice and water splashing around.
“Found a guy, he served as Jaejin’s father at that time. So I figured that I should cut all possible ties with my ex.” You answered, still playing with the unfortunate apple with your right hand.
“Fair enough, I guess. You could only think of how shocked I am to see you in that mall. I don’t even know that you’re back here. I had no idea that I didn’t even think that child was Jaejin.” He suddenly said lightheartedly.
“Maybe it was inevitable.” You answered with a deep sigh.
“Yeah, it was bound to happen.” He replied back. “But he’s doing a great job as a father now, isn’t he? He’s nailing it.”
“I guess. He and Jaejin are inseparable now.” You said, accompanied by a slight chuckle.
“If it makes any difference…” He started as he stood up from his seat, leaving the now empty glass on the countertop. “The gifts were from Junmyeon. Tricked him with the fact that I signed him up as a foster father overseas to help him recover from you. So that’s pretty much it, until next time.” And with that, he left you alone in the kitchen still waiting for the cake to finish. And wondering about the what ifs and what could’ve beens.
The red-bottomed black stiletto heels that you had for years now fitted your feet perfectly as you cautiously walked down the pathway of an exclusive and undeniably expensive Chinese restaurant. The splendid and effeminate white dress clinging to your body in ways that made you feel confident to be in such a place.
“Reservation under Mr. Zhang?” You told the receptionist that wore a red cheongsam. She asked your name for confirmation before she asked one of the butlers to lead you to one of the distant tables.
And there you saw Yixing Zhang, clad in a wonderfully simple black blazer and white dress shirt. A humble outfit that only made his stature and facial features pop out from feet away. The place was exquisite yet he seemingly outshined all crystal chandeliers and golden adorned walls.
“You look fantastic.” He stood up from his seat as he kissed your hand, a trail of electricity climbing up your cheeks resulting to an unconcealable blush.
“You, too.” You answered as he pulled a seat for you. And they say that chivalry is dead but the epitome of a gentleman was living and breathing in front of you.
“Isn’t this a bit too much?” You whispered, a tad bit ashamed at the immense effort.
“I figured that you have a bit of expensive taste. It’s just right to be on your best foot at the first date, right?” Yixing answered, a smile slowly forming on his face and his eyes adorably forming a smile as he does so.
He willingly and enthusiastically introduced you to a myriad of chinese cuisine. Chatting over his childhood back in his motherland that was sparked in remembrance over the presence of cua pao and char siu. The funny stories of his nameless cat and his fond memories shared with his beloved mother. How he transferred from China to Korea for the better law education, and you just willingly listened and admired how animated his hands become while he speaks about something he’s passionate about. Waving his hands around as he hold his chopsticks makes him seem so alive and vibrant, yet his face still tells a story of seriousness and sincerity as a result of his years of law practice.
“How about you? Why stop on being a paralegal? Haven’t you dreamt of pursuing law school?” Yixing asked with his eyes full of earnest intent to listen. And you feel your mood slip down, if the tables have turned and you’re now the subject, it was inevitable to admit who you really are - a mother. And you’re scared of losing this spark that you’re enjoying once he knows the truth.
“That has been my lifelong dream, honestly. But things came up, change of plans…” You delayed your revelation. It’s not that you’re ashamed of Jaejin, it’s more of being afraid of being deemed unworthy over again.
“What change of plans?” He asked as he wiped the sweet and sour sauce on his lips with the table napkin.
“Got pregnant.” You answered simply, trying to put it lightly.
Yixing visibly stalled in front of you, trying hard to digest the bomb you just dropped. And you understand his shock, it’s not the first time a promising date went downhill by the fact. But it still made you a tad bit sad that Yixing’s not an exception.
“Dealbreaker?” You tried to chuckle. “I’m sorry for dropping the truth a bit too late. This dinner was going well but I couldn’t let it go on without you knowing.” You shook your head.
“What? No! It’s not a dealbreaker. It’s… awesome.” Yixing’s charm filled dimples presented itself yet again while he smiled. “I just… I didn’t expect you to be a mother. You don’t look like one just yet.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You said with a smile.
“So how old is he.. He or she?” He asked again, and you could feel like he was sincerely interested in talking about Jaejin. “Wait, you’re not married right?”
“Jaejin, my son, is 6 years old. And yes, I’m not married.” You said with a smile.
“I know this is a sensitive subject but, where’s Jaejin’s father?”
“We live with him, just for the past few months. But we’re not together. We’re civil just for the sake of Jaejin.” You explained.
“So, coparenting?” He asked again.
“Yes, I think you could call it like that.” You answered again, and a period of short silence enveloped the two of you before you spoke again. “Is it really okay with you? I mean, I totally understand if it puts you off I-”
“No! I promise it’s not a problem for me. It made me even more interested in you, really. It painted a whole new aspect of you for me, stronger.” Yixing had a happy tone which made you breathe in relief. “Right now I’m just really looking forward on the day I meet Jaejin.”
And it was needless to say that put a smile on your face and lit a new fire in your heart.
“Is this where you live?” Yixing asked as the automated gates of Junmyeon’s mansion open and he started driving in. You answered a silent yup, trying to digest the clashing of worlds, the new one just ever so casually driving his car in the turf of your old. “So this is your ex’s place?”
“Yeah.” You answered with a low breath.
“You’re uncomfortable?” He asked with a chuckle. “Yeah, me too. This is unusual.” He remarked as he parked right at the front of the huge carved wood main doors and the large white marble fountain.
“So, thank you for tonight?” Yixing spoke again. “And I sincerely hope this wouldn’t be the last. I mean it.”
“I don’t think it would be.” You answered comfortably.
Yixing went out of the car and around to your door as he opened it. The manly smell of his perfume overtaking your senses and now your face is only a few inches from his. You could almost feel your face gravitate to his until a voice called your name behind him.
“Junmyeon…” You quickly fixed the way you stood and closed the door of his car. “This is.. This is,” Your hands moved in an awkward way.
“Attorney Zhang.” Junmyeon suddenly muttered, finishing your sentence for himself.
“Mr. Kim, it’s been a while.” And you swear you could feel the tension rise between the two as you stood there mind boggled on the fact that they’re aware of each other’s existence. Like two overlapping circles on a venn diagram.
“You know each other?” You cluelessly asked, head turning back and forth between the two men who had their eyes intensely looking at each other, almost boring a hole at each other’s heads.
“You could say that we have a bit of a history.” Yixing answered, a dry smile trying to facade the growing friction reflected in his eyes.
#junmyeon#junmyeon imagine#junmyeon fanfic#Suho#suho imagine#exo imagine#exo fanfic#exo suho#exo mafia
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How I think the Xavier school should be run/x school headcannons
So here it is, the master post you've been waiting for on my head cannons on the incredibly interesting inner workings of the xavier/jean grey school for gifted youngsters. Or whatever they're calling it now.
I'm probably adding to this overtime so sorry if things seam strange, it also kind of fits into my bigger imaginary concept of how x men life is (because lets be honest the comics are hardly consistent) Basically marvel can't decide how the hell this schools run so heres how I imagine things
I’m also English so sorry if some thing aren’t common in American schools, I tried my best.
Anyway without further ado heres what going to xavier's would entail:
- I imagine a system for x men recruits somewhat like in academy x, where students train together as a group however I expect this would be voluntary after ‘certain events’ where students complained about just wanting to live their lives and not be the x mens puppets.
- this group of x recruits would have costumes (think New Mutants, Generation x ect) and would be trained to eventually join the x men. This would start as gym activity and eventually move up to the danger room. (never understood the whole school danger room in WATXM, seams dangerous and wouldn't be good for students who don't want to be part of the x-men!)
- self defence would be mandatory (because being a mutant is dangerous) and obviously everyone would train to use their abilities to their fullest extent but the actual training with the goal of fighting in the x-men’s conflicts would be separate (no more schism)
- Basically emphasis on ‘child soldiers are bad’
- costumes for this group! ok maybe I miss the GenX and New Mutants days of costumes, but seriously, no one has a coherent costume! most Academy X kids are stuck in those old costumes, pixie seams to be wearing a old New Mutants costume and the poor WATXM kids have nothing since they dropped the blazers. I expect older kids such as academy x and I guess glob and quire (are they adults now?) would just wear the same stuff they've always worn. But kids who never really got a costume such as anole or the WATXM kids could defiantly get a definitive costume (would they even join the x men recruitment? idk) plus everyone would customise it (think surge with her baggy trousers, god I love that look!)
- i’ll probably make a bigger post on everything costumes would need but yeah, they need something thats bullet proof, or at least somewhat protective. plus I'm pretty sure its cannon that x-men costumes keep you at a good temperature and stuff like that so it should be implemented. I mean lets be honest these kids get in fights, might as well give them some armour.
- Talking of armour (great segway) If we’re saying she's still a teen she’d be in the top year along with quentin and glob herman (tho maybe globs been held down idk was that confirmed?) because grant morrisons new x men came out right before joss wedons run so I'm thinking their around the same ages? so 17-18 is my guess for them
-the year below that I think would be the New X men and the hellions. So 16-17 (I know the age brackets seam weird but I'm willing to guess xavier's can't be to picky about keeping this strictly a high school situation as they can't really turn anyone away, I think its more like a british high school + six form which would be 11-18) So that Surge, Mercury, Hellion, Prodigy, Rockslide ect. Seeing as Pixie has kind of been aged up recently id also put her here. However I think she was probably originally meant to be in the year below.
- The year below this would be the younger academy x kids such as Anole, Blindfold, that purple guy I forgot the name of. As well as the WATXM kids like nature girl, eye boy, shark girl, Idie and Broo. Yeah I know nature girl got super aged up in age of x-man but we’re ignoring that event. So this would be 15-16.
-The years bellow that I'm not really sure about because I don’t read most current stuff but I think Xaviers would accept kids above 11 yrs old so there plenty more years in the school! they'd basically have to accept anyone who's a mutant and seeing as that happens at puberty there could be students as young as 8
- I imagine parts of the school are named after dead x men, as we've seen with Proudstar hall, however would they name parts of the school after dead students? it would seam pretty morbid but they do have an onsite grave yard so.... if so, id expect Cypher and Synch to be commemorated and probably those who died in the bus massacre (tho thats probably too many dead kids, god thats depressing)
- the schools had a lot of teachers over the years, but it think the core teachers would be
Emma Frost - headmistress (honestly the only person I trust to do the job) teaching telepathy mutant politics
Husk - math teacher (since 90′s generation X we've never seen her as a smart character)
Jubilee (as seen in generation x 2017)
Chamber - we've seen him come in on occasion so he might not be full time, though to be honest I don't imagine anyones full time
Northstar - (as seen in new x men: academy x) teaching flight and french
Dani Moonstar - counselling and teaching mutant cultural studies
Karma
Beast - science teacher
wolverine - gym and mutant history
Toad - janitor
Kitty pryde - computing (do americans call it computer science?)
- Ive always loved the idea of the x men base bellow the school but that is hella dangerous so to compromise id say theres a medical wing, danger room, hanks lab and at least one x-jet.
- the danger room would be used sparingly till students proved they could use it, they would then be able to book sessions but the controls would be locked on non lethal and non harmful for younger years.
-the school would also have some sort of bunker (seeing as it gets blown up every other week) and there would be evacuation drills all the time.
Ive been working on this post for months so I hope you like it, yeah this ignores cannon quite a bit and its mostly just me saying how id run the school. I’m also imagining Westchester which again probably isn't the case anymore because I stay away from current continuity. but based on my early 2000′s knowledge, this is what I came up with :)
#X-men#x-men comic#generationx#generationx1994#xavier's school for gifted youngsters#new xmen#nxm#marvel#Marvel Comic#Marvel Comics#Emma Frost#hank mccoy#charles xavier#x men#x men comics#x men headcanon#new x-men#northstar#lgbt marvel#early 2000's#danger room#new mutants#new mutants comic#grant morrison#grant morrison new x men#teen x men#Teen Comics#marvel teen comics
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Hiya! I need some advice and you seem to be the right person to ask considering your blog is one of the most helpful I've come across and your very detailed. Iv got down as much knowledge as I possibly can and have been at this for quite a bit but I feel stuck in my baby witch stage. I've tried to contact my spirit guide for help but it hasn't worked yet. Anything you can think of to help me push myself through this? Please and thank you 🥰
From what I have found my friend there's nothing really to push you out of the 'baby witch stage'. Through practice, learning, understanding, and experience you will give yourself space to grow as a practitioner overtime, and from this pursuit you will eventually leave the stage. Take your time, learn all you can, solidify your fundamental understandings, learn about yourself, meditate, and cast magick, and while you do this practice self-discipline, and self-mastery, and keep yourself focused on why you started practicing magick in the first place.
As for your spirit guides they will appear to you when they, and yourself are ready for them to do so. So please give them, and yourself time for the connection to happen. Learning to Journey meditate can also help with this process, so that you are able to meet with them in your mindscape. You may also want to go through the process of doing other things in your practice, while you work on communicating, and connecting with them.
Thank you for the question, I appreciate it.
Wolf of Antimony
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Ooh I’m pretty interested to hear you favourite Utapri voices too. Also do you have a favourite group?
First of all anon, you have to know that I saved this question for last in my ask box to use as incentive. I love fun questions like this so I wrote out a (very long) answer as soon as I got this ask, but my computer died and I lost it all yaaay. This is going to be a SUPER long post because I have a lot to say about these good boys and I dont think ive ever concisely written it down before.
I’m going to split favourite voice into a few categories; favourite speaking voice and favourite singing voice. I’ll try not to be too biased by favourite songs for the favourite singing voices, but we’ll see how that goes lol. I will also mention the characters that have my favourite songs overall. I wonder how much other peoples answers for these vary.
Favourite Speaking Voices:
Ai: Okay so, I know these might seem kinda biased because these are my top 3 characters pretty much, but i think a lot of what makes them my favourites are their voices? At least initially. I’ve always been one that loves kuudere and dandere characters (both male and female), and as soon as I saw Ai, he slowly started taking over Tokiya as best boy (sorry Toki.)
Tokiya: Obviously Mamo is quite the Seiyuu legend (having won quite a few best male voice actor awards)
Shion: You don’t even know how many times i relistened to the Heavens introas at the end of revolutions. Especially Shions, such a beautiful voice. Forever surprised that hes voiced by
*Shout out to Van’s dialect too, we always need more dialect characters.
Favourite Singing Voices:
Camus: Thank you Maeno for the blessing that is Camus’ voice.
Ai: again, this may seem biased because Ai is my favourite character and Shouta is aan angel, but it think that I like both of them so much because of the voice. If yall haven’t heard some of Shoutans songs, go give them a listen.
Natsuki: Don’t really know what to say about this one, but just, Kiiyan gets so many of those high notes. He performs super well live too.
Favourites Songs Overall:
Camus: Northwind and Sunshine, Aurora, Saintly territory, Junketsunaru Ai Aspiration, Double Face, Zettai Reido Emotion, need I say more? His voice is such a good contrast to a lot of the other characters, so he always works so well in duets too. The first utapri live I saw was 3rd Stage, and Zettai Reido Emotion was just performed so well, I think it influenced a lot of the reason why I love Camus’ songs. (Shoutout to the pimp cane.)
Cecil: I think I really like the instruments that are often used in Cecils songs. I’m also a fan of mixing different genras, and a few of his songs do that.
Natsuki: Super biased for violins basically. goes hand in hand with natsuki having a great voice.
And one point to Masa for Koi Sakura and a lot of his duet songs.
Favourite Group:
See, now this one’s a bit harder to answer. I love all the groups and all the boys and yall know that I’m a heavens advocate (they get too much hate, seriously) but it does probably come down to Quartet Night and Starish. I like all the groups (including Heavens) in different ways, so I might explain a bit of that too.
Heavens: love their dynamic. I feel like the main moment I started to notice their group dynamic was when they defended Shion in Visible Elf? It was such a nice moment, it seems they really care about each other. I really want to watch them learn more about each other and how they change along the way. I really want to find out more about them over time. They feel like the type of people who would support each other and band together a lot. It was really fun seeing a new group of Seiyuu together in 6th stage too.
QN: While I know this was a lot of their whole group development (learning to deal with each other and become friends when they initially didn’t really like one another,) I do wish we saw Quartet Night interacting in slightly more positive ways with each other. Having said that, I certainly don’t dislike their current dynamic (and I love how they’ve grown overtime;especially in Legend Star and Revolutions) I guess it just makes me more excited to see them get even closer (or at least for it to be shown more directly in the anime.) Quartet Night also has this great sense of determination. fighto da yo. Quartet Night also has my favourite group songs AND my favourite IRL dynamic when it comes to the voice actors. I mean seriously these boys impersonate their characters in a line chat but thats a conversation for another day.
Starish: How can I even convey the way that I love Starish. They feel like such a solid unit of 7 very different people. Seeing how comfortable they are as friends around each other makes me so happy. I do feel like my main reason for loving Starish is that they have had the chance to be so fleshed out in the anime, every duo and group of them makes sense, they all have such great connections together. I’ve been into Utapri for so long now, so looking at them somehow feels really nostalgic?
TLDR; I guess I have to say that QN has my favourite songs, but Starish is probably my favourite group overall, if just because I’m nostalgic for them/
But yes, please feel free to ask me more fun questions like this yall, they’re really interesting to answer. I’m thinking of maybe making a new Utapri month/30 Days of Utapri? The current one is pretty outdated at this point (I think it was made around the time 2000% came out, so if any of you’d be interested please let me know. I’m sure it’d be fun.
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