#there is no obligation to read this lmao its a lot

[teabunnee]

Okay so I mayyy have a massive crush on Bryon. And I mayyy have absolutely loved the one u did for him before. Any chance you could make another romantic Bryon one? If not its absolutely fine just know I WILL be re-reading the one u already made 20 times a day lmao

Byron Boyfriend headcannons 

Byron, boyfriend, Byfriend? Boyron? 

Aw thanks! I’m glad people have been liking the AFK characters! 

Byron carries himself with a certain level of grace, befitting for such a windwhisperer. 

I think Byron, like most WindWhisperers, had to teach themselves how to regulate all of the information they are able to gather. Blindfolding himself helps sharpen his hearing, but it also reduces sensory issues as well. 

Byron carries a lot of Wilder and Dark Forest secrets in himself, it’s part of his job. Some of them you’ll have to accept he’ll keep forever, not for his sake, but for the sake of others. Some of them weigh heavy on him, a child’s lament in Dahnie’s Orphanage, the coughs of a sick old man. The cries of the refugees, and their hatred during the exclusion edict in particular were…tough on him. 

Of course, he doesn’t talk about this at all with anyone else. He can seem impassive and cold, and you have to remind him not to keep everything to himself all of the time. So he does tell you, not the details, but how he felt. 

Later in the relationship, you’re the only one that can actually take off his blindfold. He’ll do it himself, most times, and it was a shock to you that he did it so casually. You stare at him in wonder, and he smiles at you, genuinely. 

he’s hyperaware of your footsteps, your laughter, your voice. He will always turn to you as you approach him. 

I think Byron does have a sense of humor, but he disguises it by being cool and collected. 

He will do the most romantic things out of nowhere and tilt his head at your flustering with almost mock confusion. Like, he’ll kiss the top of your head then go talk to Elona about some messages he got. He is doing it on purpose, you swear. You touch your head, and feel a flower he’d somehow managed to put on you without you realising. 

During his away-from-home missions, you sometimes find Elona coming by, whether it’s her own choice to do so, or Byron’s way of saying he’s thinking of you, it’s a sweet gesture all the same. Remember to give the good bird treats and a scritch-scritch. 

Byron knows the most secluded, peaceful places in the dark forest. Waterfalls, ponds, an empty clearing at the top of a hill. He takes you there for outings, and if you happen to fall asleep, he’ll keep watch for you. Pull him down and demand cuddles, and he will oblige. 

Byron doesn’t actually tell anyone he’s in a relationship until much later. Lorsan and Lyca are gobsmacked, especially Lorsan. How the hell did he manage to keep THAT from them?!

You swear he was smiling at the chaos unfolding. 

[akutasoda]

The voices in my head fighting with each other to decide what live language each male character has;

Argenti: words of affirmation (no one is impressed)

I mean, this one is so obvious lmao 😭 that man will spend HOURS just complimenting you and saying how beautiful you are and stuff. He is your number-one fan and simp.

Jing Yuan: Physical touch (nobody saw that coming omg)

This guy is 24/7 glued to you. You two are walking? One arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder or he's holding your hand. Mid work? Good luck trying to! This man is probably hugging your back or nuzzling his face against you. At home? You are NOT leaving the bed, not when two giant cats are squishing you. (Mimi got jealous and joined)

Blade: I would say its either quality time or physical touch.

We all know Blade doesn't talk too much, neither does he know how to express his feelings well.

So, in my opinion, he enjoys spending time alone with you. No need to talk or something, he just wants to have your presence next to him.

Physical touch is more by the fact that when you two get REALLY close, he becomes more touch-starved. This man is in dire need of comfort in his life and I feel he would seek that by constantly having his hand touching you.

Gepard: (there was a war happening in my head to decide this one) Quality time, words of affirmation or acts of service.

Can we consider this man a malewife or he's still babygirl? (LMFOAOAOAO)

Gepard doesn't have much time to spend idly in his life, having to constantly deal with possible threats, guarding, or training recruits takes a lot of time and energy. So I feel like quality time and physical touch would go together for when he's finally free to spend time with you.

He finally has some time to spend with you and Gepard is not going to waste it. That man is following you around like a lost cat. He just wants to be around you for as long as he can.

While being rather shy, I think Gepard would like to constantly be touching you. Either be simple hand-holding or cuddling.

This man likes to help you around the house, helping you clean, cook, etc. Gepard wants to show you that he cares and is here to help you either inside with mundane things or outside by protecting you.

Dan Heng: IT'S QUALITY TIME YALL TRUST ME IM HOYOVERSE /j

This poor guy has been through way too much recently, please just let him stay near you for an undisclosed amount of time. Just the two of you alone while he reads for you (or you read for him), having a quiet tea moment as he just hears you yap about how your day was. He just needs to be near you. Please don't deny him this.

i can get behind all of these.

and i feel like gepard is definitely a malewife and a babygirl, he can only be both. i personally feel quality time is probably his biggest mainly because while he does do acts of service, he feels it's too much like his work and fears you'd only see that as him doing his duty as captain and not yout lover. words of affirmation are the same.

don't mind me adding some of my favs-

gallagher - similarly i feel gallagher would be like gepard in that sense. he is one hundred percent quality time as his job as security under the bloodhound family gives him very little time to be with you. and while he definitely gives you gifts often, he sometimes feels as though he's only doing it out of obligation and not genuine affection and so when he does give you gifts he makes sure you know how much he cares about you. he's also a classic romantic.

luocha - i feel he would only be quality time if you didn't travel with him. but otherwise he would be acts of service or maybe physical touch. travelling with him would mean he'd always keep an eye out for you and ensure your comfort and safety and so if you ever wanted to do something anywhere he'd make it happen. physical touch would be minimum but it's still something he'd want, and im mainly talking about how he'd just want to hold your hand. like constantly. he'd need that reassurance that your safe.

aventurine - i'd have to say he's physical touch and words of affirmation, perhaps quality time but i'd mainly go with the previous two. physical touch mainly because he needs it, after he's finally found someone he can trust and be himself around, he needs that reassurance that your here. that your real and in his arms, someone who can love him. which would also be where words of affirmation would come in, i would say he'd very much need it to be both ways. after all the struggles and hardships he's been through he needs those words of reassurance and a part of him would want to ensure you also have that same happiness in knowing how much he appreciates you.

[slay00ryu]

Hi hi~! I absolutely love your writing and often find myself coming back to reread many of your pieces. However, it can sometimes be a bit tedious to scroll through all the posts to find a specific one. I was wondering if you’d consider creating a masterlist to make it easier to navigate your work? Of course, there’s no obligation to do this if it’s too much trouble—I just thought I’d ask!

Omg yes!!!

(i had to look this thing up lmao)

N's Masterlist <3

The Devil - Ronin

Date with your Devilish Butcher

When the Devil is there for you.

The Devil is Your Saviour. - Ronin X trans!fem reader

Ronin's Headcanons

The Devil helps an Angel lose its wings

Sweet Killer Obsession

The Devil's Hyper Man.

Veins Filled With Caffeine Poison

Serenading the Devil.

Submitting Your Aorta To the Devil.

Devil To the Rescue.

Devil's Fucked Up Darling

3am Delusions.

Devilish Healing Assistance

The Devil's Devotee.

The Words Of a Snake.

Devil's Special Care.

Afraid Of the Dream.

The Devil's Celebrations.

Alcoholic Lover.

The Saint Becomes the Sinner.

Devil's Messed Up Lover.

May The Sinful Love Stayed Unrequired Forever. Ther x Ronin.

The Heartsick Angel.

Taking care of your overworked angel.

Angelic Healer.

V - Vigilante, Justice, Batman.

When blood stains your hands for the first time, call for w Vigilante.

A nuisance for a Vigilante.

Care Of a Vigilante.

Misaki - The Worldwide Assassin.

In works..

People request something for them pls </3

Other (KC cast, Poly, ships)

KC x Lethargy Reader

Halloween with your killers.

The KC cast when you're sick

KC x Silly Reader

A killer's soothing lover.

N yap about how they write the cast.

And historians call them friends. Luca x reader X Feli

Drag Queen reader x KC

Killers in Distress.

The Chaotic Duo Ronin x Misaki

Celebrating with the Chaotic Duo Ronin x Reader x Misaki

Enemies to lovers... With an additional lover? V x reader x Ronin

Angel, Devil, and a Mortal. Angel x reader x Ronin

Make Up Artiste

More stories will be coming and I will link them here ^^

I wanted to say how thankful I am for you guys, you reading my fics, leaving requests... It means a lot!

I can't believe that I posted my first fic on the 20th of October and now on the 18th of November I have so much fics that we need a whole list!!!

I am so so so thankful for everything my dear pookies

I will be posting more!!!!

- N <3

[vanyafresita]

my si-5 designs ! maybe i draw later the hephaestus crew too...

anyways after making this to have as a reference for whenever i want to draw them, imma yap here under the read more all i want about my headcanons for them (cracks fingers)

alana maxwell is very saeyoung from mystic messenger coded, thats why i gave her the dr pepper can lmfao

also she is literally aroace i wont take criticism for this one

to me she's transfem too, but i only like to think about that if jacobi is ALSO trans bcs i love me a t4t queerplatonic relationship

she forgets to eat often so shes a lil underweight- but its okay kepler and jacobi will make sure she doesnt actually faint from hunger

she is also taller than jacobi i tihnk she would b like... 176cm or so... jacobi is like 170cm and kepler is around 185cm

she also doesnt have a lot of scars on her body since she gets protected when working on a laptop by the other two during ops (or she is working as a sniper, and thus she isnt a direct target most of the time)

unlike kepler who prefers hand to hand combat, or jacobi who joins him and also messes around with chemicals and explosives often

absolutely random thought, but alana is canadian to me ! warren is american and jacobi is chilean (i am latino, me reservo el derecho de latinificar a un personaje por cada obsesión que tenga xoxoxo)

jacobi wears a hearing aid on his right ear too btw !! an accident with a small explosive left the right side of his face and his ear damaged !

jacobi paints his nails too (he actually doesnt, its alana the one who does, jacobi has a terrible case of shaky hands)

both maxwell and jacobi wear glasses, but while maxwell uses them 24/7, jacobi just.... does not care. they keep getting broken one way or another so he doesnt bother... he can see from up close, so who cares ! (at some point tho, he get convinced to get eye surgery, so he obliges)

okay switching to kepler's sexuality... he is aro and very horny for jacobi we all know this like. its very obvious i fear.... like... yeah

jacobi is bi... i feel like he had a crush on alana at first, but the closer he got to her something changed and, believe me, he does love her A LOT (probably more than kepler) just not in a romantic way !! ergo: qpps

and because jacobi is a masochistic idiot of course he fell in love with his evil boss CMON MAN GET BETTER TASTE <- alana to daniel

kepler probably doesnt date tho, most likely he doesnt feel like it would mean much making official any type of relationship they have (aka 'we fuck sometimes, i try my best to be considerate of ur feelings, i dont feel jealousy seeing you being close with maxwell, and i wanna keep her close too'), while jacobi is like. biting his nails trying not to die from love but he knows dating ur boss is not a good path to go down (its already bad they are fucking behind everybody's back- except alana, he cannot keep secrets from alana)

i think the relationship these three have (at least in my head idc about yall's opinions LMAO) is absolutely insane and it makes me act like a rabid dog, i lose all coherence trying to explain how they make me feel

they are all in love with each other, just in very wildly different ways

i love thinking about jacobi and maxwell's closeness, how they care for each other, the vulnerability, the love, the devotion, how open they are and how little they care about how others perceive them

i love thinking about kepler actually trying to make an effort to be romantic, getting it wrong often, and then having to deal with jacobi being passive aggressive; WARREN JUST TELL HIM U DONT GET ROMANTIC LOVE, YOU JUST LIKE HIM AND WANNA MAYBE DATE AND DEFINITELY BANG, DONT BE STUPID

i love...... whatever the fuck kepler and maxwell have going on... not romantic or platonic, but a secret third thing.... the mutual respect and admiration, the overprotection feeling.....

jacobi is sooooo glad his two most favourite people in the world get on well, he'd die if kepler and maxwell weren't on good terms... but thank god all three of them are fucked up and obsessed, and insane and love each other

they all love to banter, they would kill each other, they would kill for the others, they cant stand to be near, they would die if they are apart, they need to be so close together you cant tell apart where one ends and the other stars

as a side note of my designs, i wanna comment how confused i was when i finished the podcast, checked the art tag, and saw most people draw warren kepler as a white man, like i got jumpscared ngl IM SORRYYYY

listen when i heard his honey voice... that cadence... he gave me this very clear image of distinguished bald tall black man, the image went straight to my brain and i have not been able to imagine him otherwise

and i keep seeing him drawn white and blond and with blue eyes and i feel SO SCARED like i have nothing against those designs but its so confusing because to me he is that type of attractive motherfucker that charms everybody around with a smile, that make people trust him blindly from how confident his posture and personality is... and to me (poc person) a white blond blue-eyed man does NOT inspire me trust lmfaoooo so i guess i may be biased ?

anyways i know warren kepler is a divisive character !!! he is so fucked up and complex and hot HE IS MY EVERYTHING im gonna throw up /pos im so obsessed with him... you evil bastard... youre my babygirl, ure so important to me, your war crimes and horrible morality is charming to me <3 i dont wanna fix him i wanna observe how he makes other people WORST (thinks 24/7 about the implication that he disciplines jacobi and maxwell in very creative ways)

okay anyways IM DONEEEE SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I DONT CARE ITS MY BLOG AND MY HEADCANONS AND ITS ALL UNDER A READ MORE SO I CAN YAP TO THE NOTHINGNESS AS MUCH AS I WANT OK BYEEE

[elliewithcellie]

Long Cool Woman - Chapter 2

chapter summary: The boys ask you on your first hunt, but nothing is as cut and dry as they made it out to be.

wc: 3.9k

cw: fem!reader, a lot of dressing room action, brief body insecurity, pining Sam, oblivious reader. Tame chapter:)

a/n: Time for a shopping montage and some flustered!Sam action lmao. Find the rest of the story here

A year had passed since moving in with the Winchesters. You weren’t provided as kind a welcome as Bobby had given you. You missed him. In the years you stayed with him, he gave you a semblance of the family you longed for. The brothers were less accommodating in the beginning.

Dean treated you like you were a nuisance at first. It was as if you were an obligation, an unwanted child. You weren’t a child and didn’t have to stay under his supervision. Those first two weeks dragged on, and he refused to look at you. When you finally confronted him, the screaming match began. It wasn’t until you threatened to leave that he reined himself back in, a rare apology taking place. Dean softened up to you shortly after.

Sam was kinder but distant. Unlike his brother, he did what he could to make your transition comfortable, but everyone was grieving Bobby in their own way. His grieving seemed to result in his studies. Bobby’s collection of books paled in comparison to what this library contained, which intrigued you to no end. You found yourself reading alongside Sam for hours, content in the silent companionship beginning to form.

Your reality crashed down on you when the brothers left for their hunts. Nothing was your own anymore. Just when you had a place to call home again, someone to call family again, it was all swept away. Your loneliness was amplified in the bunker. Every sound scraped against your skin, even as simple as opening your bedroom door. Your clothes were hand-me-downs either from Sherriff Mills or the boys. Your bedroom was a military bunk. Nothing was your own. It was devastating to not only lose everyone you’ve ever had but also lose yourself in the process.

It wasn’t until Sam called mid-hunt for your help that you began to gain some confidence back. To be valued as useful and intelligent helped build your worth up bit by bit. And before long, your rapport with the brothers grew as well.

******

As the three of you drove to your first hunt, you couldn’t help but contemplate your dream from the night before. The flashing black eyes, the devastation of your family laying to waste. The memories clung to you like a moth to a lantern, almost sadistic in its repetition. You had pressured the boys into letting you join this time, insistent that you were ready. But your body felt the opposite this morning. You felt sick, physically incapable.

Music from the radio disrupted your thoughts. You sat up from the backseat and nestled in between the boys. Sam had since dozed off in the passenger seat, and Dean switched through radio stations.

The Impala rolled to a stop. A diner about as greasy as any other flickered in the growing sunlight. The three of you headed in and ordered breakfast.

Trepidation settled in your stomach as the three of you waited for your food. You didn’t know anything about the hunt. The boys were quiet, eyes shifting between each other in their nonverbal communication you were still learning to decipher.

“Spill,” you said.

“Huh?”

“Spill what?” Dean said, his mouth full.

“You’re both hiding something from me. What is it we’re going after? What made you agree that you could use me on this hunt? Just last month you refused because you were ‘worried for my safety.’”

“Well,” Sam paused. “Ok. What we want from you may seem unconventional.”

“Oh please. There’s no way it could be that weird, considering…” You gestured vaguely around the table.

“She’s not gonna do it,” Dean said, seemingly more interested in his meal than the conversation.

“Do what?” you asked.

“It’s the only way to lure the ghost, Dean.”

“Can you guys just tell me already?” Your raised voice pulled them from their bickering.

Sam sighed. “We are going to use you as bait.”

“Okay, what do I need to do?”

“There’s a ghost going around killing potential Miss America contestants,” Sam began.

“We need you to be in the Miss America pageant.” Dean grinned ear to ear. “Can you picture it, Sammy? Surrounded by some of the hottest women in America. Oh, I can’t wait.”

Your jaw dropped. Of all the fears you had walking into this trip, nothing could have prepared you for this particular plan of operation.

“You’re telling me,”—you took a deep breath to keep your cool— “that I need to pull a Miss Congeniality and flaunt in front of thousands of people, so you two can find a could-actually-be-no-ghost ghost?”

Sam and Dean looked at each other.

“Yeah.”

“Basically.”

“I’ll be honest,” you began, “there’s no way this will work. How are you gonna get me in? How am I gonna compete with these girls? I don’t know anything about this!”

“We’re not asking you to win,” Dean sighed, seemingly sincere this time.

Sam reached across the table, his hand grazing yours before pulling away slightly. “Listen. We already have you signed up. You are officially Miss Vermont. I’m sure all you have to do is follow the other girls, okay?”

“You have to know this is literally insane.”

“So, you’ll do it then?” Sam asked.

“Like I have a choice,” you muttered.

“Then it’s settled,” Dean said. “Finish up so we can get back on the road.”

The three of you quickly ate and headed back on the road toward the pageant.

******

A few hours later, you all arrived in Memphis, Tennessee. You couldn’t help the frustration growing in the pit of your stomach. This is what they needed you for this entire time? You thought you were going to help in the search. You had grown anxious over your first hunt, and they wanted you to perform like a little boy toy? And not to mention the obvious, but did they not realize you weren’t Miss America material? All you had known for the last several years were men—no makeup routine, curly updo practices, not a blow-dryer in sight. You were reminded of your mom teaching you how to apply mascara at 13. Your heart longed for her, now. You needed your mom.

Dean pulled up to a fancy hotel called The Grandeur, a huge improvement from the sketchy motels the boys usually opted for. The parking lot was filled with cars hitched to RVs and trailers, and Dean circled three times to find a spot before reluctantly parking on the side of the road. The three of you grabbed your things and walked to the front entrance. Dean opened the door to the lobby revealing girls everywhere. Models from every corner of the United States with teams of people following their every move littered the lobby.

“Alright, well, you guys check in, I’ll be back…” and before he finished, Dean walked over to a tall Brunette. You and Sam shared a look of disdain and continued to the front desk.

“Hi,” Sam began. “We are here for the pageant. We—”

 “Under what name, please, sir?” the lady at the front desk interrupted.

“Hicks.”

“Well, Mr. Hicks, you are in room 219. Here is your key card and the itinerary for the following week. Please let us know if you have any requests. Don’t forget, we serve a continental breakfast from seven to eleven!”

“Thank you,” Sam said. You grabbed the key and turned around to find Dean receiving a strip of paper and a flirtatious wave goodbye.

You scoffed at the sight. He returned to you both with the look of a boy in a candy shop. It was funny how his best day ever could coincide with one of your worst. All you could do was sigh as you three found your room.

“Sam, I think this is the best idea we've had yet,” Dean said as he fell back onto a bed.

“Can we talk about a plan?” you asked, settling into the desk chair. “I’m getting really worried that you guys just showed up to meet pretty women. I’d at least like a game plan.”

Sam sat on the edge of the bed across from you. “If it’s a ghost like we think it is, it should be pretty cut and dry.”

“Because we’re us, we can’t just walk around like we own the place,” Dean said. “So, if something happens somewhere we can’t get to, you’re there to handle it discreetly. It’s just like we practiced. You’ve got this.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t explain this before,” Sam said, his eyes sympathetic. “It’s the only way we knew to help, but it puts you in the toughest position.”

You sighed. “No, it makes sense.” You looked down, twisting at your hands in your lap. “You—you will be there if I need, like, backup, right?”

“Of course!” Dean said. “We’re not hanging you out to dry, here.”

“We’ve got you, ok?” Sam said.

You looked up at them both. Sam seemed as sincere as ever, and Dean looked serious for the first time today. You nodded. Then a devastating realization crossed your mind.

“Ok, this is great and all, but have we considered that Miss America is like a full-on pageant? Like full ball gowns and makeup and all that?”

“Do you have any of that with you?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, let me just pull out my full-length gown.” You rolled your eyes. “We are so brutally unprepared. You all realize that?”

“Wow, I guess we didn’t think that far,” said Sam.

“Not to mention,” you continued, “these girls have, like trained professionals for hair and makeup. They have been training their whole life to be beautiful. How do you expect me to just show up to this thing blending in with these legitimate models?”

The boys looked at each other, some unspoken words exchanged, and shrugging shoulders the only response they could muster up.

You sighed. “It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. Just, what are we gonna do about everything we need?”

 “I guess we got some shopping to do,” Dean grumbled.

******

Half an hour later, the three of you headed inside the nearest mall. The mall was swarming, infested with teen boys and girls, moms pushing crabby baby-filled strollers, and elderly folks moving at the speed of molasses. You hadn’t seen this many people in the last eight years combined. It took everything in you to stop from walking directly back to the parking lot. But the brothers were determined.

“Ok,” Sam began, “so based on the itinerary, there are three segments: two dresses and one swimsuit section.”

Your jaw dropped. “Swimsuits. I forgot about the swimsuits.”

“Sorry,” he said softly.

“How about you give us a list of what you need, we split up, and we all meet here when we’re done?” Dean said.

“It’s not that easy,” you shook your head, nearing defeat before you began. “I haven’t been to a store since high school. I’m positive I’m not the size I was as a kid. And even if I did know my size, it’s not like men’s jeans going by, like, inches. Every store is going to be different. And if we want to make this convincing, we can’t just pick something that works. It has to be competitive. It has to look the part. So, I have to try these things on piece by piece until we find something convincing enough to make it through.”

The boys suddenly looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Listen,” you sighed, “I’ll handle this. You guys can, I guess do research or something. I don’t know.”

“No, no, it’s ok. We signed you up for this. We can help,” Sam said with a guilty smile on his face.

“Besides,” Dean continued, “someone’s gotta give an unbiased opinion.”

He raised a decent point. You exhaled a breath as a small wave of relief washed over you. “Ok. Let’s get this over with.”

The three of you walked around until you stumbled across a store with floor-length dresses in the window.

“In here,” Sam said.

“Welcome to Lovely Ladies Boutique. Let me know if you need anything,” the lady at the register muttered, completely unenthused. You stopped in your tracks. Thousands of dresses lined the store. The array of colors and sizes invaded your senses, the realization hitting you for the first time today. You were going to be in the most prestigious pageant in America. You took a deep breath.

“You ok?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. It’s just a lot to take in.”

Dean wasted no time as he approached a small black dress so low cut, you were sure it would leave nothing to the imagination.

“Sam? Can you come with me and help me pick something out? I’m afraid of what Dean is grabbing over there.”

Sam chuckled. “Of course. I’m following you.” You walked to the back of the store and picked a few items. After half an hour of scouring your options, Dean returned with a pile of dresses.

“Alright. I think it’s time you try some on,” Dean said.

You took each pile from the boys and headed to the dressing room.

“Remember, you need a long dress and a short dress,” Sam called out.

“Got it.” As you tried on your first dress, the thought of them on the other side of the curtain loomed over you. You fought your rising embarrassment. You silently scolded yourself. You were all adults here, and lives were at stake. You willed yourself to move forward, trying on over thirty dresses.

You had forgotten the dread of trying on clothes. Seeing your body in something unflattering deflated your self-image no matter how secure you were to begin with. What was worse was showing each one to the boys. They remained polite throughout the process, but you were sure they could sense your discomfort. Everyone’s patience waned. Finally, a navy dress that landed above your knee fit you like it was made for you. You left the dressing room with a fresh wave of energy.

“Woah,” the boys said simultaneously.

Their words took you aback. Pink grazed your cheeks. “This one’s good, right?”

“More than good,” Sam said, his eyes widening as they darted from you to his lap.

Dean watched the color drain from Sam’s face with a smirk on his face. “Yeah, it’s perfect. Toss that one over, so we don’t lose it. One down!”

You returned to your search, a small smile forming on your face. A few dresses later, you tried on a light pink floor-length gown. You walked out one last time.

“Well?” you asked.

The boys nodded emphatically. “Do a spin,” Dean said, a teasing smile on his face.

“I’m not doing a spin,” you said, hands on your hips. “So, this one is good, too?”

“I think so,” Dean said. “Sam?”

He let out a breath and nodded. “Yep, should be good.”

“Finally,” you said. “Let’s get out of here.”

The three of you walked out of the store breathing in the fresh air of one thing checked off the list.

“Alright next is shoes. This should be easy,” Dean said.

His words jinxed you all. The problem wasn’t finding the shoes; it was walking in them.

“There is no way this is happening,” you grumbled as you wobbled through your test walk.

“You could just practice, I guess,” Sam sighed.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is the best we are gonna do, so let’s just get them,” Dean decided. You bought the shoes, each of you beginning to wither away from the process. You eventually found a store that sold swimsuits. After you all picked out different styles and sizes, you headed to the dressing room, the boys following close behind. You stopped them from joining you.

“Yeah, no,” was all you could come up with.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Dean asked.

“I’m not modeling these for you guys. Show’s over, respectfully.”

Dean huffed. “Whatever happened to our unbiased opinion? Sam, you agree, right?” Dean looked to Sam for help, but Sam didn’t deliver. His eyes were anywhere but the conversation.

“I’m pretty sure I can handle this one on my own.”

“Ok, ok,” Dean said. “At least show us what you pick. I’m kind of invested now.”

You laughed and headed into the dressing room.

This segment weighed much more heavily on you. At least a dress could cover some insecurities. A swimsuit left everything out in the open. Your stomach scars would no longer be a secret. Chills ran down your spine, but you willed yourself to continue. After trying on a few different styles, your patience wore off entirely. You decided on a classic black two-piece.

“I picked one,” you called out.

“Toss it over,” Dean said.

You did as you were told. You held your swimsuit over the door and waited for Dean to take it.

“Woah!” Dean said as he took it. “Don’t you think this is, you’re sure this one isn’t too, pardon my French, sexy?”

A dry laugh escaped you as you got dressed. “Not on me, it’s not.”

“Shut up. It’s just like, no material. It’s not too revealing for you?”

You exited the dressing room and found Dean fumbling with the strings of the two-piece. “Since when are you ‘Mr. Modesty’?” You paused. “Where’d Sam go?”

“I don’t know. Said he needed air or something. Are you sure you’re comfortable in this?”

His sincerity shocked you. The long answer was no, you weren’t comfortable. You filled with dread at the thought of people seeing you in only this swimsuit to intentionally be judged. It killed you the more you thought about it. You opted for the short answer.

“It was comfortable,” you said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the distinction of your word choice.

Dean sighed. “Let’s get out of here, then.”

You both met Sam at the entrance.

“Get a little hot in there, Sammy?” Dean teased.

“I—I wanted to save some time, so I went and found a makeup place.” Sam glared at his brother.

“Sweet,” you said. “Lead the way.”

You walked into Sephora, completely dumbfounded. You didn’t know the first thing about professional makeup. You didn’t know a step-by-step routine, or what goes where. The boys looked as clueless as you felt.

“Do you all need help with anything?” a lady with the wildest makeup you had ever seen asked.

Dean spoke up first. “Uh, yes, actually. Y/N, here, has a big dance coming up, and she just begged us to bring her here.”

You did your best to play into his antics. “Yeah, I’ve never had my makeup done before, and this guy owes me big time, so money is no object. Right, Dean?”

Dean returned your look with a matching bitch face as he handed you his credit card.

“Oh, sweet pea, how sweet of your…” the lady searched for the right word to characterize him before deciding to move on. “Well, I’d be glad to help you! Just come with me. You boys can leave us be, so we can get going!”

The lady ushered you into a chair and walked to an aisle to find some products. Through the mirror you watched Sam and Dean leave the store.

After what felt like hours of trying to figure out colors and undertones, she finished your face. You had never seen yourself so, polished. It was quite frankly amazing the work this lady had done.

“This is really good,” you found yourself saying.

“Aw, well, thank you! But you’re the true beauty here. Now, don’t forget your steps, ok? Here’s a wipe, if you’d like it, and I’ll meet you at the counter.”

As you walked to the counter, you found a curling iron for sale and decided to splurge. You bought your items for an exorbitant fee and returned to the boys.

“We did it!” Dean said with his hand in the air for a high five.

“Almost, but not quite,” you said, realization rouging your features.

“What else could there possibly be?” Dean complained.

All you could do was nod toward the store across from you. The boys followed your gaze.

“Victoria’s Secret? Really?” Dean asked.

“I don’t have anything, Dean. Sherriff Mills was helpful, but she didn’t give me everything. Just let me handle this real quick. I’m gonna take the dresses in to make sure they work together, and I’ll be out before you know it.”

You didn’t wait for an answer before trekking into the store you hadn’t visited since high school.

You gathered different styles and sizes and ventured to the dressing room. You could deduce your size, but you weren’t sure if the one that fit worked with either of the dresses. You checked yourself in the mirror. Everything in the front was well hidden. But as you turned, you couldn’t see past your shoulder to tell whether or not it was visible. You couldn’t help but think of your mom. She was always there to help you with this sort of thing.

You sighed. You pulled out your flip phone. You hated to admit it, but you needed a second opinion.

“Help please” you texted Dean.

Only moments later, you heard Sam’s voice from across the door. “Y/N? Are you ok?”

Your cheeks flushed red at the sound of his voice. You peeked your head out of your room. “Sorry, yeah, I’m fine. Could—could you come in here, real quick?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course,” Sam said, stumbling slightly over his words before following you into the dressing room.

You kept your back toward him and swiped your hair over your shoulders. “Sorry,” you said again impulsively, a bad habit you couldn’t break. “I just can’t see the back in the mirror to tell if everything is, you know, covered.”

You painstakingly waited for Sam to evaluate your clothing. You were suddenly hyperaware that Sam could probably see the embarrassment written across your face in the mirror.

“Umm, actually yeah. Some parts are peeking out on the top.”

“Dammit,” you cursed. “I’m hopeless. This is hopeless.”

“Well, hold on,” Sam said. “I think I could—well, are you alright if I—”

“Go for it,” you said hastily.

You couldn’t help but hold your breath as Sam carefully adjusted your top. His fingers brushed against your bare skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. You watched his reflection discreetly, transfixed by his concentration, his grace, his ever-gentle nature with you. Like Bobby, you felt safe with him. But Bobby’s kindness was familiar like a father’s. This feeling was new, something you’d never experienced before. And you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was.

“There,” Sam said, stirring you from your reverie. “Should be all covered, now.”

You turned around to face him. “Thank you.”

He released a heavy exhale. “No problem at all. I—I’ll meet you outside.” He said leaving you alone again.

You changed and made your final purchase of the day. You practically skipped to the boys, so thankful that this process was finally over. The air was brisk and fresh as you stepped out of the mall and into the twilight-lit parking lot, unlike the stuffy heat of each confining, oppressive dressing room you acquainted yourself with. The three of you discussed food as you set back onto the road.

chapter 3

[prettyboykatsuki]

extended authors note for another name for homesick

hey...lmao

first of all. i want to give a shoutout again to @ficsforgaza for hosting this event and giving me and my followers a nice way to fundraiser through our community. i just wanted a place to promote them and encourage people to donate and participate in the event. thank you for your hard work!

second, i'm writing this preemptively. i.e. before the fic is even finished. the way things are going right now, i have no doubt that i'm going to need some kind of authors note

this fic got more serious than i thought it would. which yeah, makes sense. i initially just planned on making this a horny fic with a little hint of bi4bi undertones but somewhere along the lines it started being about queerness and growing up on the whole.

there is definitely some sexism and homphobia relevant to omegaverse lore in here. there is also a lot of references to puberty.

specifically, though - there's a scene where reading experiences sexual harassment while very underage. and i felt that needed more context.

the scene itself is reader being on the train home while experiencing their first heat and their feelings of disgust in relation to their body's instinctual response to touch / sexual harassment by an older alpha.

i wondered if i should include this scene a lot before writing it but ultimately, it felt like betrayal to this readers struggles and characterization to not as it shapes their life and worldview.

the scene itself is not strictly necessary for you to read. it's intended to be more true to life in a way i know might be triggering so i will include an indicator for the scenes stop and start. but i wanted to give some explanation before that.

in general, i hope this fic doesn't upset anyone. i write a lot of incredibly dark content but it's very different imo to be writing something that handles such serious real life subject matter and i wanted to at least try to handle it with some level of delicacy.

it's really not my strong suit, nor is world building. im actually so dogshit at both its hilarious so imagine my horror and dismay when this fic won the poll. fdkjfskjd.

either way, i wanted to at least try to handle these themes with some care and i hope at the very least you can give me benefit of the doubt when it comes to how i've written.

this fic isn't meant to dismiss labels, but rather to emphasize that labels come secondary to acceptance and that love takes a lot of different forms. and i hope to any young queer people who don't full know which way they land that you're not obligated to put yourself in a box.

anyways. thank you for letting me yap and i hope you enjoy the fic. if nothing else, i hope the porn is hot.

love,

fang.

[ant1quarian]

*bap* if I drag a chair in here will you tell me a story? (Feed me information on the AU most beloved to yourself currently)

Cracks fingers /silly

Hell yeah I can.

Currently? It's Collectortale!

( Beware: Big rant )

Also! CW: Horror does have an eating disorder

Collectortale is more of a utmv at this point, as it's beginning to include all of the Sanses I can think of lmao.

It originated from a thought way back when- likely a solid year ago now, which I'm beginning to develop further currently.

The "Main Sans" of the Universe is named Dev, short for "The Devil"- a stage name that was given to him. He runs a well-known casino in a horrible debt-filled society where those that are desperate enough crawl over to bet what little they own in order for a big reward.

But as life seems to work: Big rewards also have big costs.

Collectortale Dust is a well-known gambler himself, working with but not under Dev. He's most commonly found in the corner of the room, keeping an eye out for any people who think they're slick enough to get away with cheating. The cost of being caught is, almost always, your life.

He's also available to gamble with- but committing to a game with him is tossing your SOUL on the table.

All around, he's actually quite a chill guy. Pretty aloof and closer to nonverbal, but pretty alright to just hang out with- assuming he allows you to be around him without just leaving, and you're not in Dev's Casino.

Dev and Dust have a... sort of like cat-and-owner-coded relationship? Dust is the cat- aloof, quiet, mischievous, prone to getting LV highs suddenly and randomly which causes bouts of extreme violence- and Dev is the owner- laid-back, amused, and willing to deal with Dust's shenanigans for the moments of peace where they vibe together in Dev's library.

Collectortale Killer is a gremlin by almost every sense of the word. He's a little shit, incredibly mischievous, but also insanely loyal and devoted to those he cares about. Similar to a Husky in a way, considering just how stubborn he can get as well. His role in the Casino is, quite literally, Dev's underling. Right-hand-man, some would refer to him as.

He met Dev by not being able to meet demand and- like so many before- placed on his target list. When Dev attacked Killer, however, he froze at the sound of Killer weakly chuckling and asking Dev to take care of his cats when he was gone. Dev slowly blinked at the feline winding around his legs before sighing, deciding to essentially enter Killer into a SOUL-contract. So Killer is obligated, by his SOUL, to do whatever Dev asks him to.

... Not that he usually asks much.

Despite all of his amusing qualities, Killer also struggles with hypervigilance. This often causes bouts of extreme exhaustion where Dev finds him half-slumped over the counter, eyelight blurry and flickering in his visible socket. It's also common for Killer to get too distracted by the thrill of the chase, despite being highly intelligent and strategic.

They have a retriever-and-owner partnership, where Killer is thoughtlessly loyal, and Dev forces the shit to take time off and rest, as well as "taking him for walks" (on killing sprees) when he sees fit.

Collectortale Horror is the casino bouncer... and funnily enough, runs a volunteer service to the side which feeds those that can't afford to feed themselves, as well as helping to get them back on their feet in this money-run society. It's also common for him to take in pets- which Dev finds in his room more often than not.

Horror struggles with formulating his speech (though is still incredibly quick-minded and intelligent)- as well as having issues with certain tasks and also has an eating disorder called "Bulimia nervosa" (which, in its incredibly and slightly-not-accurate simplified version, is "Binge Eating and ridding yourself of the discomfort afterwards."). Dev is... surprisingly attentive to Horror's needs, helping where he can- even though he has to read up on a lot of these things in order to be able to.

Their relationship is... actually pretty cozy. Sure it has a lot of mishaps and both struggling to learn about each other, but it works out eventually. They've got a pretty strong bond, now.

Thank you for listening to this rant lmao! 'Tis very muchly appreciated- and also thank you for giving me the opportunity.

If you want to know about any other Sans, feel free to ask! :D

[kanako-ketsukane111]

KANAKO’S BLOG!!!!!

(this blog is on HIATUS. i might respond to some asks still but they’ll be few and far between)

HI! i’m kanako!! welcome to my blog :3 my mom and dad both got one of these, so i figured i’d get one too. heelllloooo tumbler!!!!

[tag list + ooc under cut. this updates frequently so i recommend checking often!]

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

TAGS

#asks - answered asks!

#interactions - interactions with other (usually uty) blogs

#ooc - stuff tagged with this are me, the mod, not kanako. this is also shown with //

#ooc rbs - out of character reblogs, tags and stuff on these are usually me, the mod, not kanako

#not canon - stuff thats kanako, but not really within the canon of this blog. this will include asks from non-uty characters (with some exceptions), or asks about stuff kanako shouldn’t/wouldn’t know

#my dad! - asks that talk about kanako’s dad, chujin

#my mom! - same as the above, with ceroba

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

ASK INFO

asks are generally responded to within four hours, unless im busy/asleep (12 am to 10 am pst usually).

if i don’t respond to your ask, dont get too upset or anything; i probably just didn’t know what to say, or i forgot and i’ll respond later LMAO. please note i am not obligated to respond to anyone.

if you really want it answered, wait atleast 3 days before resending, and please don’t send the same ask more that 3 times

OTHER UTY CHAR BLOGS FEEL FREE TO INTERACT!!! please do, even! i get nervous so i probably won’t int first but i’d looove to do silly things. personally, i would prefer character blogs unrelated to uty don’t interact often, but they’re not completely banned.

i don’t know much about Japanese culture/kitsune symbolism/etc. i will try to research and portray things properly when it applies in asks but please let me know if i do/show something poorly. i would love to grow and learn more!

feel free to send ooc asks to the mod!

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

OTHER

on this account, kanako is likely a bit older than in canon! 12-14, probably

@mo-the-best-salesman is my friend so there’ll probably be a lot of interactions with it even though it doesnt make a ton of sense LMAO

———🌷——🌸——🌺——🌷——🌸——🌺———

i’d like to keep my main priv for now, but if we interact a lot i’ll probably be happy to share it with you! also, its not that hard to find because i like and follow from it GAHHAHAG

thanks for reading 👋

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

Pokepark - Shout out a Pokemon IRL blog you really like!

ill do you one better i have A LOT to shout out lol. its very hard to like articulate ALL my thoughts in just like one paragraph cause i dont wanna drop a masive ESSAY for each blog so ill try to keep it brief but do check all of them out if you havent yet!!

@lovenpeace-pkmn - anthea and concordia are,, surprisingly forgotten about pkmn characters so finding out there was a blog for them a few months back was like. insane for me. i love the blogrunners characterization and its just generally a fun blog to scroll through and interact with on occasion!

@thatfailedpokemontrainer - sprite an interesting critter fr. theres something wrong with them and i love it. every once in a while something goes down on the blog and im just in the discord chat with friends like omg look at whats happening on tumblr RIGHT NOW!!! also as a dedenne best pikaclone TRUTHER i am obligated to promite this blog lol

@battle-subway-ghost - is also a really fun blog that im always like GUYS LOOK AT WHATS HAPPENING OVER THERE!!! honestly i could probably link ALL the blogs linked to this one and thatfailedpokemontrainer but i dont wanna decimate a buncha peoples notifs with me @ ing them all on the same post lmao. but like. something up with paris fr and his relationships with other characters are so fun to read. also i love rattatas so any blog about characters that give love to the rats get a good grade in my book

@wingsofachampion - tropius is such a fun character and bench plays her so well!! pokemon like tropius are sososo underrated compared to a lot of the like. anthro/more humanoid pokemon and pokemon that are just cats or dogs so seeing one about one of these more underrated pokemon so good to me. bench (blogrunner) also has a ton of fun pmd lore that builds off the canon stuff on this blog and a few of their other blogs so if you love pmdstuff you should REALLY check them out

@psn-stalling - i could list A LOT of the bbablr blogs because theyre all some degree of something up with that guy fr but atlas is one of the first blogs that popped up on my dash p often and is what got me to check out a ton of the bba blogs. atlas and his relationships to other characters are so fun to me and tbh atlas is just a fascinating character in general. top ten guys of all time i hope he beefs with even more of his classmates in the future

@viridian-rat - OKAY SO. TURT (the blogrunner) IS MY FIRNED SO PERHAPS THIS MAY BE CHEATING BUT RAT IS SO SOSO SOMETHING TO ME. 12 YEAR OLD OF ALL TIME. turt plays rat like an actual 12 year old and its so refreshing because a lot of people DO NOT KNOW HOW CHILDREN ACT AND ITS INSANE. also turts been putting so much effort into a whole ass animation for this blog thats almost done so you guys have to follow the blog before it comes out so you'll see it.

@harteofthehart-ayyy - harte is another character on pkmn irl thats a guy of all time fr. fascinated by him and everything that is revealed about him. whatevers going on with him and his roommate has captivated me. this is also another blog where i REALLY like the art thats posted on occasion, and i just find it funny to follow. also its just a REALLY fun blog to interact with. like some blogs are just awkward to reply to because theres like way too little to actually grab onto but harte's mod is really good at giving you stuff to actually reply to

theres sosososo many more blogs but some are just escaping my mind rn or i dont know how to like properly articulate anything than this blog good. id like @ my entire following list rn if i could but i do not think people would be happy with the amount of notifs

[theonekierce]

whats crime and cricket? ur fanart looks interesting

ah thank u! 'crime and cricket' is the fandom tag for the Raffles series by E.W. Hornung, since the character name is difficult to use as a tag lmao It's mostly short stories with one novel, all narrated by Bunny who is the old school friend turned partner and accomplice of AJ Raffles, a gentleman thief who uses his fame as an amateur cricket player as a cover for his secret life as a burglar! They were sort of based on Holmes and Watson if they were criminals instead of detectives, but there's a lot more to them than that and they're really compelling stories that i have become completely obsessed with

if you wanna read any, Raffles Redux is my go-to as its full of annotations with extra context and illustrations etc, but the books are all public domain so they're easy enough to find online copies of. I would definitely reccomend reading these in order since theyre pretty serialised - but if you're not sure, the first 'The Ides Of March' and third 'Gentlemen Vs Players' are good intro stories for getting the feel of them

Also, im only about half-way through the first story but i am obligated to boost my own comic book adaptation ive been working on >:)

[screampied]

hey, sleepy feral bf here! our girl is embarrassed cuz she just now noticed how many typos she had in the last ask she sent you. she's talking fast and it sounds like gibberish irl but i think of it as a sped up tiktok vid lmao. she's saying what if there are just as many typos in the previous asks that she sent. but its all good rn, i calmed her down and told her that u probably didn't mind since we know how she gets so excited sometimes. btw i wanted to apologize for not being active a whole lot on here but i do check ur acc for any new stuff and bc sometimes i ain't updated on what our girl sends u so its funny and nice to read ur guys' interactions. but yeah. anyway, our girl is fine, she's calm. i'm a big fan of the color blue and i rlly dig ur theme. also happy holidays to u and to the other ppl on here. we're tryna be inclusive of everyone who might or might not be celebrating upcoming holidays.

greetings from sleepy feral bf anon and sleepy reading sesh anon 💕

LMAO i just saw her ask when i logged in a few mins ago !!!!! so sweet. 💓 but no worries !!!! i always enjoy our chats hehe. u and her both. awww that’s so cute. and oh! it’s no problem don’t apologize, i understand you all have busy lives n stuff so you’re neverrr obligated to talk to me !!! i appreciate you a lot tho, glad you’re doin alright nonnie :) but ahhh thank you thank you !!!! 🎀 happy holidays to you n to everyone who celebrates, stay extra warm n cozy!

[yunogf]

lmao i asked bc, as you said in your tags, there was a certain way that it comes across as with how you’re talking about it, so i genuinely wondered bc i was gonna listen to it as well. i’ve been reading plenty of comments about it as well that mostly just lean on “aoty” “soty” “best album ever” and i get that these are (hopefully) exaggerated claims by stans, but i was seriously yet to see a decent comment about its musicality. it’s either about his face in the mv or his voice or the aesthetic of the mv. nothing on the lyricism or the instrumentations or its creativity or depth, so i was hesitant. i get liking it, but i doubt its being “the best”, so when i saw that your comments were the same, i began to wonder if this is another case of exaggerated praises and it’s just... meh at best. nothing new and all that. i am still gonna listen to it on my own ofc but, i guess, since i’m not really his fan, i’m not all excited. amazing debuts usually create tractions of their own, and i don’t hear much for this, but i ain’t judging based on that ofc. anyway, no need to feel attacked. as i said, i was genuinely curious so i asked. i’m well aware that i have ears. i was just genuinely curious about what you actually thought about it, what with your unhinged tags and whatnot. that’s all.

hard to gain traction when ur company announces ur album 2 weeks before it drops!

i was thrown by your wording and i still kind of am but i don't listen to music i don't enjoy and that's across the board for any artist bc....why would i do that lol and maybe ur not in the right circle being a casual fan/non-fan bc I've seen most ppl talk abt the musicality along with everything else 🤔

ik u said u were genuinely asking and i appreciate the explanation but im picking up on an overall unimpressed tone ("hopefully exaggerated" "doubt it being the best" ?) and it feels like u've made up ur mind about jaehyun and his music and ur asking me to give u a reason to change ur mind/care/be impressed but that's not my job ur free to make ur own opinion to me it seems ur going in with a half formed one already but it's music so like it or leave it either way is okay! ur under no obligation!

I'm sorry if being a kpop stan (im assuming...?) has made u feel disillusioned by solo releases tho i understand bc ppl are often overhyped by fans but jaehyun is a music enjoyer who did his homework and worked with artists he himself is a fan of and the payoff is really good music

overall ur ask is very uninformed which if ur not a fan is understandable but as a native english speaker myself listening to an album that is almost entirely in english from a nonnative speaker i have to say the lyrics are very well done they make sense create good metaphor and aren't superficially about balling or making a lot of money (i loathe to hear this often in eng versions of kpop songs lol) and jaehyun is credited as a lyricist on almost every song afaik

the production value is solid "can't get you" has an entire band accompaniment (the trumpet >>>>>) he wrote/worked on "flamin hot lemon" with emotional oranges (one of my fave artists actually <3) so that one is Excellent in every regard esp for a song inspired by cheetos lmao I've said numerous times that none of the songs sound like they were created with the intent of 30 secs going viral on tiktok (a very important differentiation for me) and one of my favorites parts about the title track "smoke" is the outro it's soooo good there's an unexpected bit of piano that he adlibs along with >>>> and the ballad "completely" has a Gorgeous piano backing to it (the lyrics on this one are also so beautiful)

my excitement about the release may have overwhelmed me so i might not have broken down each song beat by beat but rest assured i'm not wasting time on music i don't enjoy

in summation the album is good and on a separate unrelated note he just happens to be really hot ❤️

[riacte]

Part of the weirdness about m/f ships feels like this kind of performativity from insecure queer teens? At least I think so based on my own experiences. I've always been a big multishipper who likes f/f m/m m/f and any other kind of ship equally but there was awhile where I felt kinda ashamed if I liked a m/f ship "too much" bc I felt like I wasn't gay enough. Like I wasn't queer enough if I didn't ship gay ships enough. Even now (tho I've gotten better) I still feel this obligation to keep the ratios of ship fics I read "even" so I can prove I'm still a good queer. I think in my case it's probably part of my internalized biphobia (since I feel a similar obligation to make I prove I have attraction to all genders and am really bi "enough" in my actual daily life) and it's a similar feeling of stress at having to constantly police your own identity/attraction/interests.

It's unfortunate that this kind of insecurity in how queer we are seems so common in queer people especialky those of us who are young one w/out much actual dating experience (who make a large part of this fandom. This sort of "who even ships m/f lol gay ships only" I've seen others in this fandom doing feels very much like a way of coping with that insecurity, by proving you're gay enough through your ships. I'm sure there are plenty of people who simply are just not interested in m/f but I'm sure there are also others like me, trying to prove we're queer enough by carefully curating our fandom interests.

My thoughts on m/f ships is that the end of the day, shipping is just shipping. It doesn't actually necessarily say much about your sexuality or what you actually want in a relationship and certainly doesn't mean you're less queer.

(Obviously there are other factors too in the weird attitude ppl in the mcyt fandom have about m/f ships, but this is one that has affected me a lot and I've never seen anyone else talk about it so I wanted to bring it up. Idk I hope I made sense)

Thanks for the ask! It was really nice seeing this as a bi person who heavily mains m/f and sometimes feels bad for it (I also main friendships but I mained m/f reallllly hard pre 2020 aka. before this fandom).

Yeah, I feel like it could also be like "we see so much m/f in real life so we should go hard on the other options to even it out". This fandom specifically there's been problems of irl truthing in comments so I completely understand why people shy from it, but it's 2024, we're quite developed in the character vs cc divide, shipping m/f isn't the end of the world.

I do feel guilt over maining m/f (then liking f/f and m/m, in that order, yes Treebark is the exception and my first m/m that I really got into), like for a looong time I was pretty sure it was just terrible heteronormativity that I needed to kill, but now I feel like it's a mix of heteronormativity (which I fight like daily lmfao) and just. being attracted to men and women both. Because when I write m/f, I can write about being attracted to women and men all in one neat package. And it feels "equal" to me. I do tend to prefer pieces of media with an equal gender ratio, or at least the leads are (eg. Miraculous Ladybug (my ex fandom lmao), Kagerou Project (ex fandom, stares into the distance), Spy x Family, Assassination Classroom) so I can love male and female characters. When reading fics, I like reading about loving a man from a woman's pov and loving a woman from a man's pov. Even in HC with its highly uneven gender ratio, this manifests in the corner I've tucked myself into (False, Ren, Stress, Iskall, etc). Although I do also like media with mostly female characters - Love Live (another ex fandom lol), Precure, Madoka Magica, Nikkiverse - and I do read stuff, I just don't really write for them because I wanna write about girls AND guys. Shippy or not. And this leads me to main m/f a lot. That's my personal taste.

Side note: as a kid, I was frustrated by media aimed at boys which had like a whole cast of boys and one token (cardboard cutout) girl AND media aimed at girls which had a whole cast of girls and almost no boys. 9yo me in co-ed school was like "well this doesn't feel very pro gender equality, I want books with the same amount of boys AND girls :((((( oh wait. I can just write it." And.... it ended up defining what I write now? Even outside of shipping, I like m+f friendships a lot. Because I still get to write about a guy and a girl even if they don't kiss or whatever. Idk. Am I cursed with an extreme case of heteronormativity and / or internalised homophobia or am I bisexual. Maybe both. Idk.

Maybe I do have boring stupid milquetoast hetero taste whatever but I'm having a good time in my fandoms and my ships / dynamics. I like writing about my guys and girls and I'll keep on doing it. And I am queer. I am bisexual. This doesn't change.

Anyways watching HTTYD at a young age changed me. Hiccstrid you will always be my origin story <3

Thanks for the ask again! We don't have to prove our queerness because we are queer. Everyone has different tastes. And m/f does get a bad reputation in queer spaces because oftentimes it's done badly and ofc the enemy.... heteronormativity [evil].

Final note re sibling fanon: if you have to turn friends into siblings just to show you're not shipping, you are coming back to heteronormativity. Why can't a (straight) man and a (straight) woman be friends only. What assumptions are you making?

[vacantgodling]

I somehow did not realize Red, Hel, and Arden were a polycule lmao but now I have to know even more

1 - How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flow chart. 6 - Where do each of the members land on the “solo poly” to “entwined” spectrum? 7 - Where do each of the members land on the “free agent” to “community oriented” spectrum? 18 - What are their “vetoes” for potential metamours? Do they have any at all? 20 - How do each of the members deal with jealousy? How intense is the feeling? 21 - How intense does each member feel compersion toward their partners and metamours?

~ @void-botanist

haha well, they are but they "aren't" ... mostly because of plot issues BUT technically speaking they are. its complicated lmao but basically they are but arden feels like they can't be because he's a prince. ANYWAY tho:

1 - How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flow chart.

their relationship dynamic kinda looks like this (sorry this is hard to read):

6 - Where do each of the members land on the “solo poly” to “entwined” spectrum? && 7 - Where do each of the members land on the “free agent” to “community oriented” spectrum?

18 - What are their “vetoes” for potential metamours? Do they have any at all? && 20 - How do each of the members deal with jealousy? How intense is the feeling?

red has no real hard vetoes for any metamours, the only requirement that she has is that whoever hel is with (because she's entirely closed on her side) that they make hel happy and that hel seeks to prtect his happiness. she's very protective of him and she will sack anyone who makes him feel like shit. however, this poses an issue because unlike hel's other fuck buddies or nebulous people but he's in love with arden and arden makes him happy but arden's struggles with duty, honor and his own feelings makes hel sad, but red knows that hel would be sadder if arden wasn't in his life so she kind of deals with him. she doesn't really get jealous in a traditional way? when things first begin plot wise she does have some minor feelings of jealousy towards arden bc of how hel looks for his validation (hel and arden have known each other for longer technically) BUT it usually manifests in a lot of red's self-hating tendencies. after she and hel kind of establish their main qpr, all that jealousy melts because she trusts him. but she's still not keen on hel dealing with someone that makes him feel a way.

hel feels a bit selfish but he's honestly glad that red doesn't have any interest in anyone else because he kind of wouldn't be able to handle the idea of red having metamours on her side. he definitely chases arden and others to get that sexual gratification and traditional romantic sentiment (mostly with arden) but frfr if red was a romantic/sexual person then they'd honestly probably be mainly monogamous with hel having a free pass or two. he absolutely adores red and wants to keep her to himself LMAO but he never says that aloud-even though red would absolutely be fine with that. on the side of arden, he does have a difficult time accepting that he probably won't ever be an important or fundamental fixture in his life. unfortunately for himself, he's deeply in love with arden (not as much as he is with red to be fair but still). the only thing that he can handle mentally is arden having a wife because of the whole prince duty thing, not that he'd be happy about it but he understands that that would be the best case scenario for their relationship. they've had a few arguments regarding arden musing about having different sexual partners or trying women out to get used to the idea of "his duty" but hel doesn't like the idea of arden doing this out of obligation and not because it makes him happy. though arden always tells him to fuck off because of his whole vibe of being a free agent etc etc. hel isn't really a "jealous" person, he's just always been a bit insecure about where he and arden stand regarding their relationship so he's clingier than perhaps is warranted.

and after that entire explanation you'd think i'd say that arden isn't a jealous person? INCORRECT. he's the most jealous one out of the three of them and he feels it the most intensely. despite his knowing hel for longer, the fact that hel went and established a primary relationship with red and not him does hurt (and not that hel didn't try mind you, arden is just so hot and cold) and for a long time he was sort of unfairly jealous of red who was literally just vibing. he's also generally jealous of the fact that hel has the ability and privilege to just focus on himself and his own happiness. he doesn't have to think about what would be best for their country and how the nobility want him to behave whether it be as their pawn or their ruler, and because of that, arden is constantly at a crossroads of what to do and kind of takes it out on hel. that's partially why i put "queer at night" on his side of things because the only time he's honest with himself and when he and hel are anything of a semblance of a couple is under the cover of darkness. he isn't really in love with the fact that hel fucks other people either, but he feels like he can't butt in because he's already told hel to fuck off about his own exploits so how can he expect any different from him? he does eventually warm up to red and begrudgingly agrees that red does make hel a better person and in a perfect world where he wasn't a prince, he'd probably want their relationship to just be the three of them. so he keeps his opinions to himself mostly and is just grumpy a lot of the time.

21 - How intense does each member feel compersion toward their partners and metamours?

red feels compersion pretty heavily whenever hel goes out on the town and fucks someone because whenever he's happy, she's happy. because she also does care for arden (kind of, when he's not being an ass) she is happy for him and hel as well because they do make each other happy when again. arden isn't being dumb and hel isn't being insecure.

hel WOULD feel compersion if arden did actually find a wife that made his princely duties bearable and if he actually sought out situations for his own happiness, but bc arden is mostly a man of self sabotage, he can't bring himself to be happy whenever arden is doing ridiculous shit.

arden feels it begrudgingly. he slowly warms up to hel being happy with red and red becomes important o him slowly. he actively hates whatever random people hel goes to fuck tho. they can die in a ditch for all he cares pff.

[iraprince]

Heyo! Any advice on struggling to get your art seen in the world? I feel like no matter how much I post, or what I post, people never see it or seem to like it. I love art and am pursuing it as a career (hence why Im getting a degree in it currently lmao) but its kind of disheartening to work really hard on something, post it, and no one sees it.

oh, man. i'm afraid for this one i don't feel like i have a lot of solid advice. having a large-ish following online feels like something that kind of just, like, Happened to me, mostly on accident/in ways outside of my control, and even if i had some ideas on how to potentially replicate those gains i don't think they'd work consistently. (also, a lot of my large jumps in follower count came from mental health related work going viral bc it's #relatable; this is something i have complicated feelings about and it's absolutely not a viable, like, "strategy" or something that i would recommend, in the way that ppl can say like, "fanart gets attention!" or stuff like that.)

so, i don't have advice for how to actually GET those eyes on your art; i can maybe help with making ppl more likely to STAY once they do find you, and how to build a following that will actually help you maintain a living from your work -- bc i have TONS of peers w a following a fraction of the size of mine who get more jobs than me, are doing cooler/more "professional" stuff than me, etc! (heads up that most of my experience is on twitter; i know less than nothing about places like instagram + tiktok, and while tumblr functions very differently from twitter i feel like i handle things mostly the same here, aside from doing less personal posting/being less talkative and not 'networking' or following many people).

SCROLLING BACK UP TO ADD A SPOILER ALERT: AS ALWAYS I HAVE SAID "HAHA IDK I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY ADVICE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TYPE A FULL ESSAY. IF YOU ARE ON DESKTOP YOU CAN HIT THE 'J' KEY TO SKIP THIS POST. IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE, I'M SORRY

a very important thing, especially professionally: it HAS to be easy to see what you do. (this is easier here on tumblr, where u can have a designated art tag etc, than on twitter, which is an awful website that sucks. <- guy who makes all his money on twitter) this means, like -- if i see something from you and get curious and click your profile, it should only take one more click to quickly see at least SOME of your art. on a professional account, it's probably best for your icon to be your own work, something snappy and memorable and eye-catching that reads well at a small size; people shouldn't have to dig for 20 minutes before they can start browsing your art. on twitter, this means TRY not to gunk up your media tab with a ton of reaction images/screencaps of your gacha pulls/etc; on here, it means make your art tag easy to find; on any website, a portfolio link, prominently displayed, is the best bet. (i am still working on that one myself lmao and i've been working professionally full time for a few years now so like, there are outliers and wiggle room on all of this).

next! it's great when your audience finds you, but you have to find them, too. find artists who do similar stuff to you and get into their stuff -- sincerely, not just as "networking." (like only do this with ppl whose stuff you actually think is cool, not just trying to get in mutuals with everyone you see in hopes of a bump, obviously.) get interested in other indie artists, find the people who are working/publishing in the spaces that are exciting and aspirational for you, and support them! i don't want it to sound cynical when i say there's a kind of give-and-take built into this; the point is not "well, if i reblog/retweet a bunch of YOUR stuff, maybe you'll feel obligated to boost mine in return," but that when you find other artists/creatives who are on the same wavelength as you, you will naturally stumble into pools of people who want to support art like yours, and you and your newfound peers will help each other when you hype each other's stuff up and direct followers to each other! (again re: things going differently on dif websites: this is twitter-specific for me, bc i use my tumblr as a gallery/portfolio. that doesn't mean it doesn't happen here tho! it can and does happen everywhere!)

it is really not a competition. i know that SOMETIMES it is in like, a really nitty-gritty numbers sense; people only have so much money to spare, they will make choices about whose patreon they can afford/what comic to buy/etc, that's true. but to me that's not competition. people who are sincerely into your stuff will hang on until they can afford it; maybe that means someone follows you for two whole years before the planets align and they have the budget/opportunity to commission you. by hanging out in similar circles you are not taking potential business or opportunities away from anyone else, nor are you risking leading your own audience to Someone They'll Like Better; you're just offering more options, and the internet is VAST and endless, and EVENTUALLY people will show up who are into YOUR STUFF, SPECIFICALLY. helping each other is never going to stifle or delay that!!

and my final chunk of advice is the one i give constantly that everyone is probably super sick of hearing but i just seriously seriously believe in it, even tho i know it's slow to pay off and hard to follow: keep doing exactly what you want to. keep doing it!!! you have to!!! yes, i mean the stuff that's getting like, 2 likes and 0 reblogs! the stuff that 'nobody likes!'

earlier i mentioned i have gotten big follower bumps from like adhd comics and stuff like that going viral. the thing is that, from a professional standpoint: my follower count has like, more than quintupled from where it was at a few years ago; my patreon income has absolutely NOT quintupled lmfao. it has less than doubled, over that same period of like... i wanna say over 4 years. that's still good, i'm grateful for it, and i owe a lot of it to the sheer numbers game (the more ppl see ur work, the more likely it is you'll reach someone who decides to support you), but there is absolutely not an actual direct correlation between numbers and career success/stability.

where there IS a direct correlation is between "people who give a shit about the art i really truly love making" and "people who like my art enough to support me professionally." HUGE chunks of the followers i get any time something goes viral slough off over time; there's nothing wrong with that, they just follow me bc something was funny/interesting and end up realizing my work's not actually their thing. but the ppl who follow me bc they're into all the stuff i post most consistently, the stuff i care about and am passionate about, stick around. and i would not have found them if i wasn't posting the shit i care about!

out there there are people who will be 100% crazy about the stuff that is 100% what you want to make. it's like actually statistically impossible for there not to be. the more niche your thing is, the longer it will take to find them, but they absolutely exist. but if you give up before you find them -- if you start saying, "well, i'll put in 50% of this idea that i love, but the other 50% is too weird and nobody's gonna like it and it'll flop" -- well, in that case, you can only ever find the ppl who are 50% into what you do. don't fuck yourself like that!! you cannot deny yourself the possibility (the INEVITABILITY!!! IMO!!!!!) of finding the people who will 100% get what you're doing.

so: on a pragmatic level, i'm sure there will be ppl who disagree with me on this, and who think it's absolutely mandatory to do fanart as a crowd draw or learn about algorithms and posting times and get on tiktok and do the visibility grind and everything and that it's stupid and irresponsible to tell people not to. i'm sure it's also easy to point out that i'm speaking from a place where i now have more eyes on my stuff than i know what to fucking do with so maybe i'm just totally out of touch and being naive or something. but for me the most important part of doing art now, ESPECIALLY as a career, is to keep loving it and to believe in what i'm doing and to build an audience that cares about the same things i do. and i think it is really really vital to make that your top priority. bc if you don't, then even if you DO crack the code to suddenly getting tons of notes on everything etc -- will you even keep wanting to do it?

this job is hard. it's lonely, in my experience; i spend so much time sitting in front of my computer alone. it's unstable, which is stressful and can be frightening. it's emotionally taxing, for me, because art is so important to me that it's hard to set boundaries and separate my identity from it and actually treat it like a job. it has taken me a long time to find success doing this; maybe i could have gotten there faster if i had tried to find ways to draw an audience specifically, but i think if i had somehow managed to get a big patreon following/tons of commissioners/etc by doing something formulaic or doing stuff that specifically gets tons of attention, but isn't what's natural for me -- i don't think i would have lasted very long that way. this is already hard and complicated enough; i don't think it's sustainable to give up any unnecessary ground on doing exactly what you're passionate about, bc at least in my case, that's mandatory for this even being a livable career for me. i would burn out and decide to do something else very quickly if the only way to succeed was to chase numbers/engagement.

doing it this way is very slow. if i hadn't been able to lean on family/my wife while starting up, i would have had to have a day job for much longer (like, years, probably) while saving up and preparing to go full time; for as long as you struggle to get traction, it may mean going full time has to be on the backburner. but the thing is that there's nothing wrong with that, it's the reality for the vast majority of us (from what i've seen) -- and you'll eventually build a career that can last way longer, i think.

okay oh my god i'm done. sorry about that. like i said this job is pretty lonely and i sit here all day and think about this stuff and then generally do not talk about it with anyone until somebody asks me about it and then i repeat myself at length again. like i did here. anyway have a good night sincerely and i hope some part of this was helpful!!!

[charlie-jpeg]

heyyy got tagged by my good pal @bad-kendi let's do this

Last song listened to: Honey Im Home by Destroy Boys, one of my favorite bands! theyre a rock band so if you like angry loud music you should totally listen to them:)

Currently reading: The Guy She Was Interested In Wasnt A Guy At All by Arai Sumiko, a gl manga about two girls and their love for rock music, its really good with an awesome artstyle but its only about 72? chapters, it updates every week though with very short chapters

Currently watching: nothing, right now, but ive just re-watched Kill La Kill and Fooly Cooly, two of my favorite animes! its got a lot of weird moments, some fucked up ones, but both have got great animation and very good vibes.

Currently obsessed with: Hollow Knight, as usual LMAO, im replaying it, but ive been playing a lot of Celeste and Rain World! currently playing the strawberry jam collab mod of celeste and its super fun, im in the expert lobby rn. Im also stuck in the farm arrays in rain world (pls send help)

Tagging: @rennyus @thraloupe @alloru and @hearts4miyu you are now wizardly obligated to do this