#ive already deleted about 3 paragraphs

[oddvanilla]

ultrakill yaaayy :33

basic info that i am 99% sure you already know:. its a bloody and violent fast paced fps where you are a robot who went to hell for blood (blood is fuel and allat 🔥🔥) . you kill literally everything. its level based and you travel down through the layers as you go. theres multiple weapons and multiple weapon types and also 3 different arms that you can switch through really quickly to get more style points and deal more/different damage

my favorite weapons are the marksman revolver (your can throw up to 4 coins in the air and then shoot them.) and the pump charge shotgun (you can also parry the shells to make it go further which is awesome and really cool and also awesome. if you overcharge it, it blows up and can launch you really far. both good and bad depending on what situation youre in) but theres more weapons and i dont really want to explain every one, so. :3 (oh oh the screwdriver railcannon is also good cause itll hit an enemy and cause it to bleed. which heals you. hence the 'blood is fuel'.)

there's like a. score thingy and your rating for each level is determined on how fast you complete it, how many enemies you've killed, and your style points. (and i think how many times you die). all levels have a like. best score that you have to get for it to be like, S or A or whatever. P ranking is beating a level under a specific time, killing everything, and getting at least a certain amount of style. and not dying at all. its kinda. pretty hard. this is what a p rank looks like

that was for the level where you fought v2 and got the whiplash (arm that is like. uhhh. grabby thing? how do i explain it . like it pulls you towards things or things towards you depending on their weight. like a grappling hook?? idk) basically it was just a boss fight thats why the style points and kills are low. i dont have pictures of any other levels ive p ranked.. so .

anyways :3 its a really fun game. its very fast and there's always shit happening and you have to be like. always alert or else youre dead. this was not as in depth as i could have gone. and i didnt talk about the characters or like. some other stuff. if you want more explanation lmk and i will be happy to do it 🔥🔥🔥 SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LMAO I WAS TRYING TO P RANK 6-2 AND TYPE THIS SO EVERY TIME I FAILED ID COME BACK TO THIS AND ADD MORE 😭😭

autism fueled rant over 🔥i should have added more pictures but i was scared that if i left the tab this would have been deleted. :333

First of all. This is, THE COOLEST EXPLANATION IVE SEEN EVER. I've NEVER been more interested in reading long paragraphs than right now.

Second of all, HELL YEAH!!!! FAST PACED GAMES ARE THE BEST!!! or at least for impatient people like me...

WHAT I GOT IS THAT THERE'S LIKE. DIFFERENT WEAPONS FOR DIFFERENT PURPOSES?? LIKE SOME GET YOU MORE STYLE POINTS THAN OTHERS?? IDK ABT YOU BUT MARKMANS REVOLVER SOUNDS COOL ASF!!! AND P RANKING IS LIKE,, ENDING SOMETHING IN A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME.?? I THINK THATS LIKE SPEED RUNNING A LEVEL😍 IS THAT WHY ITS CALLED ULTRAKILL?? BECAUSE YOU JUST KILL EVERYTHING?? DAMNN

Im actually curious what's the lore who are the protagonists and what are they fighting against

[gutsfics]

can you give specific examples of what happened to help people understand what happened

this is non-extensive, just the ones i think are the most egregious of what shes done and said

i'm not sure how much of this is stuff she's deleted, as these are all from screenshots i already had on hand, but i would like to say that deleting a post doesn't necessarily mean you no longer agree with what was said in it, especially if you double down on what was said when you're called out for it. which she has done Plenty of times

and for the record, this is not something i enjoy doing. part of the reason this took me a few days to post is because this is stressing me the fuck out and ive been trying to spend as little brainpower on this as possible

First point: queerphobia in the form of homophobic jokes, sharing panphobic rhetoric, and talking for transgender people on a topic she (as far as i am aware) has no

the pelicansexual "joke" was told at the expense of Ethan and Tobias during the "Ethan Bisexuality Canonity" argument she & i got into in June (which btw i would like to apologize for starting that up, i was frustrated w pb's coddling of the cishet part of the fandom & i was having difficulty phrasing it bc of how upset i was w it. i did not mean to attack the fandom specifically but intent doesn't cover for outcome)

the pelicansexual joke was a since-deleted tag on one of her posts which went something along the lines of "my Ethan and Tobias are now pelicansexuals, which means they have to break up with [her characters] as they are not pelicans". i dont have a screenshot of this unfortunately, but i do have a screenshot of her response to an anon calling her out on it.

in case you don't understand why her "joke" was homophobic, before gay marriage was legalized in the US in 2015, a common anti-homosexuality talking point was "homosexuality being legalized is a slippery slope to bestiality being legalized". while it is good she deleted her "joke", its frankly worrying to me that when called out on it she doubled down on how she was joking when she said it, instead of listening and learning. her bisexuality and queer activism do not mean that she is incapable of saying and doing homophobic things.

the panphobic rhetoric & her talking for transgender people are, if i remember correctly, both part of the same incident wherein she reblogged something panphobic and then, when called out for it, said something that something that most trans people consider transphobic isn't actually transphobic at all

screenshot 1: bisexuality and pansexuality are two very similar sexualities, with the main difference between the two coming down to personal preference for what term you feel like best. while bisexuality does mean "sexual attraction to two or more genders", some people prefer a term that focuses on the "or more" part. neither sexuality excludes transgender people. pitting queer people against each other because theyre not the "right" kind of queer does nothing but damage the queer community as a whole

screenshot 2: agreeing to delete the post, but doubling down on what she said and refusing to listen to anon simply because they're anonymous

screenshot 3: the highlighted part is what we're focusing on here. "We don't consider cis gay men who only date the same to be anti-trans". hi, I'm a trans gay man. Yes We Fucking Do. i don't understand why she thinks she has the authority to speak on this. what "we" is she referring to here?

Second point: lack of respect or understanding of boundaries in fandom spaces, including both blocks and simply not wanting to interact with someone

i'll be honest, i'm a bit unsure if the above paragraph is the right way of describing what i mean, but she has a bit of a history of being.... openly weird about people who have blocked her for "no reason", and not only that has stated she thinks that not wanting to take place in an event run by someone you are uncomfortable with is childish

i believe the first one is about my friend Jay, who has her blocked for similar reasons that i do. while it is perfectly fine for her to assume whatever she wants about the reasoning for a block, her phrasing of "all i ever did was be supportive" in a public post about it allows her to victimize herself over a boundary being placed. speaking of Jay, Elsa has, knowing full well that she's been blocked by xim on the "peonyblossom" blog- which, again, is a boundary that has been placed- decided to message xim on the choicespride blog xe runs

the second one is specifically about a tumblr user who i do not know personally and do not wish to drag them into this as they have left the open heart fandom. she was sent an anon about this user blocking her which, yeah, is really weird and suspicious. but this isn't about that, this is about her response to learning she's been blocked. she refers to herself as this users "biggest fan" and says that it "isn't normal" to block your biggest fan. once again she is victimizing herself over a boundary someone else has placed, only this time she has done it in a post talking about a person with their username in it. when you have a blog as big as hers, people are bound to go after someone in the name of defending the person they feel was slighted

& here's her essentially calling people childish bc they might not want to interact with someone who causes them harm. iirc this was either about certain event blogs in the fandom not disclosing who's running them bc they know full well that some people might not be comfortable interacting with them (hiding ur identity will not help with that) or about people choosing not to participate because they know that the person running the event is someone they don't want to interact with. this ones just bizarre to me. no one has to interact with anyone ever, and calling them childish for it is, frankly, childish

Third point: her callout post for Jeremy and her non-apology

to get it out of the way: i'm friends with Jeremy. i'll try to keep this as unbiased as possible, but i am deeply deeply upset and frustrated with everything thats happened to rain. also, just so yall know, Jeremy gave me permission to talk about this. i'm not just dredging up old drama for drama's sake here.

first- the callout post

the thing that started this was a post to the playchoicesconfessions blog where an anonymous user said- and i'm copy/pasting it here- "Ethan said he and Tobias were like brothers. Weird how many people in the fandom want to get with their brothers.’" essentially, this anonymous user accused people who ship Ethias as being into irl incest which..... we will not be getting into all the ways thats problematic here.

(as an aside, Elsa did at some point reblog and then delete this post, but her commentary was focused squarely on "ship and let ship" which is a sentiment i agree with but she completely ignored the blatant homophobia in this post. here's a version someone reblogged from her in case you're curious as to what she said)

Jeremy reblogged this confession post and added "i genuinely hope this person and others who think like this eat a fucking bullet holy shit" specifically in reference to the anon insinuating incest. in turn, anons on rain's blog assumed rai was referring to people who don't ship Ethais and sent rain nasty messages, which rai would respond to and get more anons who saw the latest response and again assume rai was talking about not shipping a ship they ship and not the actual genuine fucking homophobia from the original confession post.

one of these anons sent screenshots of rain's posts to Elsa, without the context, and told her rai was talking about her. rai was not. not until the post where rai (rightfully, ihmo) called both Elsa and another blogger (this one who also got a similar ask about being blocked by the user i mentioned earlier but who decided to put it in the open heart tags instead of keep it on their blog the way Elsa did. that's the only props i'll give to her in regards of that- yes it was shitty she posted it in the first place but at least she didn't tag it) for complaining about and villainizing someone who blocked them.

tldr version is- Jeremy was venting about anons that were being homophobic to rain, another anon sent screenshots of those posts to Elsa without the context who who rai was talking about and said they were about her, and Elsa, without bothering to verify in any way, decided the best course of action would be to publicly call rai out, painting rain as a bully who has been targeting her specifically and once again victimizing herself. on her blog with a bunch of followers. many of whom also chose not to verify, and instead just heaped more hatred onto Jeremy's blog.

this went on until September, when they talked to each other at first with a third party go-between, and eventually person-to-person. Jeremy explained the context of the vent posts, Elsa explained that she was getting the screenshots with no context from an anon and admitted she should have verified them herself instead of going full nuclear, and they both agreed to apologize publicly

all good, end of story, right?

no.

while in Jeremy's post, rai took accountability for their side of what happened in this awful game of telephone and apologized for rains part in the whole thing. if you want to read it, here is a version of it.

Elsa, on the other hand.... well she apologized, but to be honest I'm not quite sure what for.

she says there's been misunderstandings on both parts led on by one or more anonymous sources (no arguments here), says she understands that the posts that were sent to her were not actually about her (okay good) and says that its a tough world and that she's deleted her posts.

okay.... but that doesn't specify what she did at all to need the apology. which was publicly call out Jeremy on her blog with.... well, i'm not sure how many followers she has, but i do know that she's got the most well known blog in the choices fandom. by publicly calling out Jeremy in the way that she did, she (whether intentional or not) set her followers out to attack rains blog. she did not apologize for this. asking people to stop sending hate to rains blog is not the same as taking accountability for sending those people to rains blog in the first place

so. yeah.

again, non-extensive list, but i dont wanna mention things she's done without having screenshots or links to show proof that she did it, and i dont feel like finding more of her bullshit bc this just. really fucking stressed me out.

also this isn't me saying "shes a terrible person forever and i hate her and nobody should like her ever" this is me saying "hey, shes done/said some hurtful things in the past and it sure would be cool if she acknowledged any of it" but i think coolsville sucks or whatever.

also also most importantly: its possible for queer people to say and do things that are queerphobic. being queer yourself does not give you a shield from people calling you out for that. neither does real life activism. its great that she's done real life activism! but pointing back to things you've done in the past, or for a different group of people than the one youre in does not exempt you from the harm youre causing today, to the people you're interacting with.

i dont have a proper ending to this

thanks for reading i guess

[osarina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[tadpolesonalgae]

helloooo, i hope this isnt weird at all.

u really inspired me to start writing one of the wips ive had cooking in my head for 10,000 years with CBMTHY (i love your interpretations of all the characters across everything youve written, even dark! versions of everyone).

but how do you get the thoughts in your head onto the page :( its a little demotivating to not be as good of a writer as I'd like. so im terrified constantly that the story isn't coming off correctly. it certainly doesn't help that I've been stewing on this fanfic concept since i initially read acotar and tog, (crossover shit woo!) but the scenes are so vivid in my imagination that everything i can actually type out seems to fall flat or seems jumbled with the amount i try to include.

like, i posted a part last night after having it ready to go for months (there are several more im hiding 😭) and have reread it 3 times and have to remind myself its fine and i dont need to delete it. but idk if im just being crazy tbh. Im also very much the same type of person who needs feedback in order to continue with creative projects. however the idea of even asking about it here is intimidating, especially after your stories helped push this lil amateur to write. But any help would be so greatly appreciated, especially becsuse theres no one ik personally who enjoys the series who would be willing to chat about it 😅

again, i hope its not weird that im not sending anything in directly related to ur work and asking for advice 😅😅 but i hope you have a good rest of ur day/ night !!

haha, don't worry about it! I'm not sure I'm the best person to offer advice on this since I'm just kind of writing what I want to write though, but I'll try and help.

What you mentioned about struggling to get thoughts down on the page - I think an element of it is probably feeling comfortable enough to put them down there in the first place? That and also having the words to know what you mean? Read around, listen to music, chat with people if you can and see if you can find stuff you resonate with and then pay attention to what it is and try to figure out why. And it can take a while to find the right words, so let yourself breathe.

Suddenly jumping into a project you've been hyping up in your mind won't come out pristine immediately, it might be a case of writing paragraphs once, then writing them out again beneath that but trying to improve on what you've already written with a thesaurus in hand. It might also be a case of listening to music that simulates the emotions you want to write out and then trying to articulate them in the moment. Also writing without thinking can help. Or writing exactly how you're thinking, I guess? It doesn't always work though, so I'd sincerely suggest trying to write some smaller things to start with or have on the side to help practice.

In terms of trying to find people to give feedback, I think interacting with other writers can help. I'm not the best person for this since I like being away from my computer/phone as much as possible, but chatting to writers off anon, or if your writing blog isn't your main one then switching to your writing blog to leave a comment or reblog and leaving notes in the tags is a really great way to show other people you're interested in acotar/tog and writing. If the idea of coming off anon to interact with writers is (like I find it) absolutely terrifying, you can always keep anon on but sign off using a specific pseudonym or emoji that will be recognisable! That way you can get used to chatting without entirely compromising your anonymity and hopefully become comfortable. Asking other people what they do to help them get their thoughts down too can help since you'll be more likely to find someone similar.

I'd also recommend that if your story is long to try planning it out roughly as chapters or bulletpoints so you don't have to store it all in your brain. Have playlists on hand or boards on Pinterest to look over.

I think it's great that you've posted a chapter though - if you have a project you want to do well it's so easy to get caught up in wanting it to be a good as possible that you never actually get around to posting it, so I think what you've done is a great start. If you're unhappy with it after a few months or so you can always edit, nothing's written in stone.

And if you want to write in again please feel free to! I promise it doesn't have to be about my writing and I would think other writers would feel the same. If you want to turn off anon that's fine, and if you want to use an emoji as a sign off that's cool too, you can work your way up to chatting more openly about the stuff you enjoy :)

Also, if anyone else thinks they have some good tips for writing, getting thoughts down, keeping up interest/motivation with a project please add them!

And anon if you want to send in a link to the first part of your story feel free to, or if you want to chat with me directly I'd be interested to have a peek at what you're writing? I love acotar but tog still has a special place in my heart so I'd love to read more content around it too. I know how scary it can be sharing stuff you've worked hard on :)

[charmsandtealeaves]

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Okay this one I’m taking time to answer because I’m gonna use some real examples (because I never delete shit from my AO3 inbox and I'm feeling a little self-indulgent this morning) so strap in:

1. Comments left in the bookmarks. It’s rare, I’ve only ever had it happen twice. But it’s a little window into someone else’s view and I love that shit.

In one someone quotes a line from the fic itself and follows it up with “I’m gonna use that, maybe, once I get bitches, gotta cut my hair for that.” The once I get bitches part had me genuinely laugh out loud for the first time in I don’t know how long. I really hope their endeavour panned out for them 🤣

2. Comments that quote parts of your own fic. I love seeing what parts of a piece of dialogue or scene really resonated with people.

This was fantastic! Oh especially the whole show bit, I enjoyed it too damn much! So well-written and funny, I was grinning like crazy! “But I work in a morgue, so the guys at work are not exactly the sort of stiff I want to be picking up. Naked Attraction please help me find a man who isn’t mortified to go home with a mortician!” - I remember this from the snippets and it's brilliant!

3. Comments from the same username on several chapters of a multi chapter. Those people are the bees knees and fill me with the warm fuzzies.

I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart soars whenever I see your name, @blondelunaa, @abihastastybeans and @practicecourts doing this. 10/10 kudos to you guys.

4. The “Sorry, I got too engrossed and forgot to comment” or “Re-reading!” Kind of comments. With fandom it sometimes feels like something is dead after a week without new kudos etc coming in. But comments like these prove that people are still reading and appreciating long after that.

Oooh ive gushed over this chapter before, but wow- this patronus scene is everything and more. I love the image of the stag, so powerful and magnificent - ima sucker for patronus reveals but this one takes the cake 🤩 and the end is perfect !!

5. The requests for more or a prequel/ sequel. Again rare (for me anyway). I got a few of these on a microfic but I’m gonna share the one:

I am obligated to inform you that I'm in dire need of a sequel. Or prequel. Or both, I won't complain...

6. The paragraph. I think these are the kind of comments everyone loves to get. Just a full paragraph of gushing about something you made.

Oh my goshhhh!!!! My heart!!!!!!! Thank you so very much for writing this <3 This is a perfect, heartfelt, beautiful glimpse into the "after" I requested. I'm so happy they resolved all their feelings! I love the sweet domesticity of the line "it's just me", like they're already an old married couple in Godrics, instead of two teenagers in the Heads Dorms. I feel like that line really helped set the tone of intimacy for the rest of the fic. I'm glad they talked about all their feelings and James doesn't have to be broody anyone xx Thank you for sharing Charms!

8. The full block caps shouting comment. The passion involved in that style of comment.

I SHOULD'VE BRACED MYSELF AFTER THAT AUTHOR'S NOTE

9. The one word/one liner comment. It's small but mighty.

This was fantastic!!!

This was fab. All the kudos to you 🌸 You are a very talented writer ⭐️

This was mad…I loved it

10. The comment from someone "fandom famous" who you thought wouldn't even know you exist. Exhilarating and also incredibly daunting when posting a WIP.

Ahhh the drama in this one!! Loved the James and Lily interactions. Sweet to see Alice and Lily's friendship in person for this one! Got some satisfaction from James hitting Pettigrew I won't lie lol. Glad to see Lily's not pregnant (yet)! Excited to see how you wrap this up!

11. The unexpected compliment comment. Someone paying your work a comment you weren’t expecting. I’ve highlighted a few here that I go back to when I feel like just throwing in the proverbial towel:

Hot damn, this is best court room scene I’ve ever read in fanfiction and most published novels. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! I’ve been devouring this fic quickly because the dialogue is so freaking good- the perfect combination of fun banter but with a realistic flow- I feel like I’m reading conversations with my own friends. Also I don’t know if this makes sense but they everyone’s Britishness jumps off the page in a way that I love.

Woah! Broken can be a beautiful place to start. Mind blowing and emotionally a masterwork

Just read all of this in one sitting, love your writing! Look forward to reading more of your fics

Asfjksagf this fic is amazing!! It's nighttime here now and I thought to myself that I would just read a couple chapters and then finish it tomorrow - but I COULD NOT put it down!!! Had to devour it all together!! It was just so novel, so interesting, so fun! And the final scene with James holding and hugging Lily from behind had me positively melting the whole time ;A; incredible! <3

I’ve just found this story and I binged the whole thing \o/ Thank you so much for sharing it. The soulmate concept can be so tricky to navigate and I imagine it’s hard to come up with fresh takes on the Lily/James Patronus storyline, but all of this came together so seamlessly and the narrative is so engaging. Such a lovely experience, and I’m incredibly grateful to have stumbled upon it! Phenomenally done! \o/

[renxholics]

I’ve always kind of wanted to write my own twst event, like ghost bride or beansfest, so this little valentines bit is a lot of fun trying to format around since I’m trying out new styles and such! ((: it might have to be a little late bc there’s like a L OT of writing, each chapter ive tried to have at least 3-4 esque paragraphs minimum, which is already one chapter = 1/3 to 1/2 the length of a normal fic -> and these take a few hours to days. i really tried my best to release it all at once in a single post instead of being a tease like the game having to wait for part two. [writing progress]

however it is gonna be really long at this point. im no joke twenty paragraphs into the fic and ive only begun writing about two characters parts finished✌️if it gets TOO long then i’m probably gonna have to split it into multiple parts to make it easier, but likely release them a few hours apart (might be longer i hate being the man who spam clogs tags) so i don’t spam the twst x reader tags. i’m not going to force my viewers to have an eye bleed because i don’t know what formatting is.

gonna try my best to get it out on time though! 💞 right now i’ve made it to about chapter 3 in the word count screenshot,, and yeah i’m probably gonna have to be released with chapter 1-6 first, depending on how much longer the word count gets to be. i normally h a t e the :read more: line because it ruins my writing by repeating or deleting paragraphs but i just hope it doesn’t mess up this time;;

[housewifebuck]

i don't remember if i already asked you anything so if not then 14, 18, 21!! or if i've already asked you then feel free to ignore this ajksfdajkf (or answer it!! your choice ❤)

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Can’t lie would love to see one of my pwps adapted into a porno<3 I know I haven’t posted it yet but I’m gonna say the costume fic I’ve been sending u bits of cause I’d wanna see Eddie serve real life cunt in his snake plisskin getup

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Fuck uhhh ok see as soon as I write stuff down it leaves my brain forever so I have no idea what I’d say my favorite line is, but if we r talking just 911 fics then off the top of my head here’s a (more than one) line I wrote recently that I laughed about bc I love writing down bad Eddie Diaz soo much he’s so embarrassing

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Oh yes. So many times. Usually it’s because I realized it didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the fic, or one time even bc I accidentally wrote a whole paragraph in the wrong POV 💀💀 or ive inadvertently completely contradicted my own established plot

[spacedlexi]

If you could make one change to TWD s4 what would it be?

a 5th episode. the whole season felt pretty rushed especially the final episode with it being an hour shorter than the 3 other eps. it wouldve been nice for it to get the breathing room it deserved. i understand its highly likely due to the fact that telltale was in the middle of going under and likely didnt have the budget to do it similar to the length of s1, and i know a lot was cut, which is really unfortunate

when it was still airing and we didnt know how it was going to end, i was expecting there to be about a full episodes length of time dedicated to the delta, but we really only get the raid at the end of ep3 which is about 30? ish minutes? out of a 2 and a half hour episode... i really wanted more delta. i wanted to know more about the actual base (not the boat) and the war they were fighting and with who. it felt like they set it up to be something bigger but it just never payed off? the kids just blow up the boat and go home lol and the delta group is no more quite easily (someones gotta be wondering what happened to an entire crew of people + a small ferry that took multiple horses with it plus weapons and ammunition, that left to find recruits for a war they were losing??). while i really enjoy the end of ep3 (its very intense), i Really wanted for the delta to be harder to fight/escape. the delta works Fine as an antagonistic force for s4 the way it is currently, but it couldve been fleshed out more. having lilly as the head of it (or at least the head of the expedition?) helps to give it more of an emotional impact but it still left me wanting...

in the beginning of ep 3 abel talks to clem about doing whatever it takes to protect his home/family (and how clem can relate to that, and how they are on opposite ends of the battle still fighting for the same thing). i wouldve liked to actually SEE more of this home and whats so worth kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to fight for it. like they talk about how it actually seems like a pretty strong community with running water/food/heat/beds/walls/etc, like they try to make it a little bit of a grey area, but also they are making child soldiers which is...not very grey.... like we know theyve kidnapped kids in the past, and from the conversation with lilly it sounds like they take people of all ages with some sort of frequency. how does a group like that function? its definitely through fear and not loyalty. how many people are there willingly? how big is this community? is lilly the one in charge of the delta or does she also hold fear to someone higher up than her? is the only thing worth saving about this community the fact that it has created a "safe" place with bountiful resources? but is that worth saving/is it really safe if everyone there lives in fear? and how strong can a community actually be if ran only through fear?

these are not questions that are ever really asked let alone answered, and moreso are just given the middle finger to while the kids just focus on getting their friends back (which in fairness i guess still makes sense for a bunch of kids who dont care and are making their own community built around supporting/helping each other since they were all abandoned by the people who were supposed to take care of them (first their families then the school faculty). they dont give a shit they just want their friends back and fuck you die). it just feels like there was an Attempt to set something up, but they didnt have the time for a real payoff, and therefore just made them Evil... like we couldve put a little bit more of a focus on how both the delta and ericsons are fighting for the safety of their homes, but the delta is built around fear and force while ericsons is built around community and support and love

minnie is the most interesting part of the delta and its because of how conflicting she is as a character/how shes an example of this stark difference between ericsons and the delta, since she goes from being a supposedly sweet/non violent person at ericsons to being completely brain broken by the delta to the point that she kills her sister who dissented against the group. sophie wanted to go home to ericsons, minnie was brainwashed into fighting for this new community to the point she saw it as her new home, and wants the rest of the kids to be there with her, since she thinks its safer for them at the delta than ericsons as long as you "do what youre told", and she wants to kill clem because she sees her as getting in the way of this goal even tho the other kids dont want it either. AGAIN there are bits of set up here and there but the contrast between the communities feels more like a good/bad dichotomy instead of asking interesting questions

LIKE all of these aspects ARE THERE i just wanted them doubled down on a bit. with how vaguely bad the delta is they just feel like generic villain instead of something more interesting that had been alluded to with abel and how hes also just fighting to keep the home he cares about safe. again we only get about?? an hour? hour and a half? in total throughout the season dealing directly with the delta. they couldve used more fleshing out

and to completely change the topic if we got a little more time in s4 then the party scene in ep 3 wouldnt have been cut down lol. i think kent confirmed that there was supposed to be a chance to walk around and talk to everyone, but you can just tell since the camera pulls back like it usually does when you enter gameplay after a cutscene, but then it just cuts to another cutscene 😔 every time i play it makes me sad knowing what could have been. i feel like with the atmosphere of having "one last party" before everyone could possibly get taken/die in like 6 hours wouldve led to some interesting conversations

[exoscreamsoda]

Do you think kaisoo is real?

yes :)

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[husbandhoshi]

not sure if you’ve answered something similar to this already, but wanted to ask what your writing process is like! where you draw inspiration, how many drafts, edits, etc you go through, at what point you start editing, all that jazz :)

ive been reading so many fics since my break started and i kinda wanted to try my hand at writing too.. but i feel like im such a perfectionist when it comes to it and i immediately hate whatever i write even in the early stages 😭 i really like your fics so i wanted to ask you in particular hehe (if you decide to answer this and other writers see it.. pls spare some advice too djjsjxjsjsjsjjdjdnz)

thank you i hope youre having a good day <3

awww thank you for the kind words!!! leaving my advice under the cut bc i ramble a lot <3

honestly i have a very… dysfunctional writing process that my friends/moots will probably not agree with. typically people will tell you to just start writing and edit later but that never works for me because i also hate whatever i write initially and just delete it and give up.

the way i like to do things is that i just let my brain simmer when i’m out and about. and when i come upon a sentence, phrase, scenario that i really like, i try to immediately write it in my notes. sometimes a chunk of dialogue will happen upon me and i’ll just write it all out.

usually i end up with a bunch of disjointed paragraphs and then when i read them all together, i get more ideas about what to write to connect them! and when a draft is in its Bare Bones state, i’ll read and re-read it over time, adding sentences and paragraphs here and there to make it more Real and fleshed out, making edits where i see fit.

sometimes this happens in a day and sometimes this happens in a week/weeks depending on how much time i have & my attention span. like i think it’s totally valid to just start writing your favorite parts and come back to finish the rest after you get all of it out of your system. usually it’s better after time anyway bc you can better gauge how realistic/well-written parts are when you have fresh eyes.

super long but i hope this helped!!!

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[ajabsusbjsbsbanns]

Warning for some mentions of sexual intimacy and also somewhat cp?.. the intimacy is not explicit by any means. however i go into detail on why their art is bad so just keep this in mind.

please consider reading this whole thing before jumping to a conclusion

(and im aware the screenshots above are somewhat out of context. this was going to be short but it isnt now)

hey! a deviantart user by the name of foxdragonlover drew nsfw art of spyro and cynder. there was some backlash and they had this to say. i really dont have nearly enough energy to read through this fucking novel of a post but i skimmed it. now please pay attanetion to these parts of the post.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal!I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

what theyre saying i that as long as they fleshed out the characters and dont just see them as moving pixels on a screen they have a right to draw porn of it because it’s “development”.

now please keep in mind that it has been said spyro in the original games is 12 years old. 

now although this doesnt tell us much. spyro is a child. he looks nothing like the other dragons in the game. hes closer in looks to the baby dragons in YotD that any of the elders. not to mention his voice is that of a child-teen. now yes. i understand that this is the original games.

“what about TLOS series you moron” you cry.

fear not. i have done some research on that as well.

in the first game of the legend of spyro series spyro is roughly 12 years old.

the wendy promotional toy that was released when the game was first out comes with a small tag that gives some insite into the characters of the TLOS series. 

now feel free to accuse me of editing these pictures. but you’ll see here that they are in fact real.

so what does this tell us? well.. not much i guess. however im not stopping here.

“yea yea spyro is 12. but stupid! he’s only 12 in the first game!”

alright. sure! youre correct in that spyro is 12 for the first game. however he is also twelve for the second. the second game happens almost immediatly after the first. meaning at most spyro is 13 for half of it. along side this, cynder is also the same age as him. same goes for sparx.

“well, but those arent DotD!”

You are correct! They arent! however they give us a clue on how old spyro, cynder and sparx are in the third game!

this comment on a game forum mentions that spyro is 15 in the third game.

“but lolbit you fuggin gnome! some dumb forum doesnt mean anything!”

Once again you are correct! it does not. however the poster on the forum is right. spyro is fifteen as per mentioned in this screenshot of the actual dialogue of the third game.

hunter mention 3 years having passed. which would mean spyro, cynder and sparx are in fact 15. 15 is not an adult. You should not be depicting a minor in sexual situations EVER. you should not be “aging up” a character for nsfw art. and you ESPECIALLY should not be doing this when you are a 23 year old. dont believe me? their Furaffinity account specifies their age here! please be warned there is NSFW art on their account.

now im sure youre asking why im throwing such a fuss over this. well dear reader, fae/fox refuses to awknowledge that they did anything wrong and they continue to argue that “its okay if theyre mature and ive written a story for them”. that of course was paraphrasing. however here is their exact words on the matter. “But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.Drawing those grown characters doing mature things is normal.Projecting real life stuff onto characters, whether they're canonically only ever shown as children or as adults while working through their story, is normal.There is so much worse to harp on. “

please keep in mind that no where in this paragraph here is it mentioned that the characters are adults. they are stated to be mature. however, maturity does not = age. it means your maturity mentally. spyro is extremelly mature for a 15 year old. he saves the world and handles the fact that he was plucked from his home before he was hatched and was raised by a family that was not his blood family even though he is still a child. a MINOR. cynder handles her corruption and the fact that she was used as a tool for an evil master as well as she can. she’s extremelly mature for her age. but again, she is only 15.

now of course im expecting that legendary comment of

“dumpass. theyre fictional. duhhhh. they aren’t real”

and to you my dear friend I have some links for you to read. i personally would never be able to sum it up in words the way these posts have. here are some links about why fiction does in fact = reality at times.(and thank you to Jade for allowing me to use their blog for these links!)

click here, here, here, and here

now that youre done reading those, im going to analize the post created by fox/fae and discuss some of the points they made.

the first part i analized earlier im going to bring back again for one more talk.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

lets break this apart.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! “.

it does not matter if it came from a place of love. what you’re literally saying is you had strong feelings to draw spyro and cynder having sex. thats the raw of it. and yes. it is normal and okay if you would like to draw two consenting adults in a time of intimacy. however you did not draw two adults. theyre children. minors.

“But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.“

i already discussed the maturity thing. you have not yet called them adults. you said mature. which more or less translates to “im too scared to admit that i didnt age them up. theyre still minors in the picture”. this is scurting around the problem rather than addressing it. and no im not addressing the next part of the paragraph. no one asked your personal views on how tender and soft a literal minor would be during intercourse. and again. they are minors. the characters are portrayed as humanistic and sentient. and fae/fox agrees on that. that is one thing they are right for.

however. that doesn’t erase all else that they’ve done. next.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though. I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

hoo boy. alright.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though.”

alright. this is a blatant lie. they have blocked a decent amount of comments but they are lying when they say they only kepts up a few friends. not to mention they say they deleted those after. there are far more comments than 2 from a few friends.

(its scribbled out cause you can actually see the art behind it. which is still nsfw)

“I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later.”

although yes they did hide some of their comments in order to remove the whole chain its extremelly hard to believe that this is out of a place of safety for the commenter. because they left my comment up and allowed a friend of their to comment on it as well. along side this they blocked me so i couldn’t defend myself either.

and now this isnt me jumping to a conclusion. my comment is from 10 hours ago. thats a lot of time to delete a comment.

“Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

this is a long one but i feel it fits together well enough to analize it all together. but ohhh man. it sure is embarassing to have to hide the comments that are accusing you of drawing CP huh? it really is embarassing? because you hate drama right?. listen. it doesnt matter if its embarassing to you. you drew nsfw art of child characters. and now youre upset that you have to go through and hide the comments of people calling you out for it. do you realize how outlandish that is? and oof. listen. the fact that you wanna “wipe the slate clean” and “disable comments” to hide from the fact that people are calling you out, rather than admitting this and deleting the piece shows that you are quick to hide and shove all of this under the rug rather than addressing it. and as for that last comment. listen... you sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling rather than addressing peoples concerns and listening to their criticism is not you valuing love over hate. its you refusing to awknowledge your misdoings and pretending youve done nothing wrong. thats a horrible mentality to have. and of course this is going to leave a scar on your work. you drew CP and refused to awknowledge it even after people brought it to your attention.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong, but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict. It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.” 

once again im going to go through this and explain why its... oh so wrong.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong “

you telling yourself you did nothing wrong and refusing to awknowledge peoples criticisms of you isnt you knowing in your “heart of hearts” that youre right. its you being ignorant to peoples concerns. and how do you know its not wrong? because you say so? because your friends say so? people have addressed this issue by giving you facts and explanations on why its wrong and you deleted these comments. that isnt right at all.

“but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . ”

Listen. these people who supported you are sad that you’re defending drawing CP. you arent the victim in this scenario. you have no right to be sad when you actively chose to draw this. it is all your doing that these people have removed their support for you. as have I. these people are not to blame because they are disgusted that you drew something like this. and we are aware this is dangerous and a major accusation. however it is true. what you have drawn, by definitions, is CP. and now i hate to be this person. but you deleted all the comments. so there really isnt proof of this. i hate to pull that card but honestly.. this is the definiton of “pics or it didn’t happen”

“If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict.”

once again. you’re to blame for this. you are playing a pity card yet you drew ths. the whole “it hurts me too” arguement is null. It doesnt work. you drew the art and chose to defend it. you have no right to be upset when people voiced their concerns about it. and conflict wouldnt arise if you actually listened to peoples concerns about this rather than immediately blocking them and playing the victim card.

“It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.”

first of all you dont need to get poetic here. you drew CP, got called out for it and then made a post crying about it all. and if your passion is drawing porn of spyro and cynder, children characetrs, then youre not a good person. and if you defending CP is really when youre going to act like an adult then you clearly have the wrong priorities.

“I'm not some perfect martyr out to try and prove i can't do any wrong.Hell those of you who watch my side account have seen my ass a LOT, and you've also seen me try to grow from it when i'm wrong.I should not have given that commenter the gratification of pissing me off so much, but it happened.I didn't exactly blow my top, but it's still something i ought to get a handle on because i know this won't be the last time someone harasses me.”

heres the thing. the only people who can vouch for you here are your followers who are defending your actions here. you can’t use your side account as an excuse of “ive grown as a person” when the account isnt public and no one has access to it other than those who you select to. and on the second part. listen. youre 23. youre over the legal age in the states and i believe everywhere else. youre a grown adult. and if you consider people saying “youre disgusting for drawing CP and defending it” as harassment then you truely do need to grow up. you shouldnt be praised for not freaking out at people for calling you out on this kind of stuff.

“As i told someone else who's barked at me, it would also be hella wrong if one character was an adult and was a child and i aged the child up so they could fuck.I HATE that shit.That to me is wrong and weird, but here they're the same age, as adults. To me, it's not weird.Honest to God the worst/weirdest age thing i ever got swept away by was ZaDr, and i've been thinking about that lately and am considering at some point going back and throwing in head canon and trying to make it better so that it isn't "nasty”. I've gotten smarter and wiser since then.So there's definitely some hypocritical material in my folders, too, and i'll go ahead and admit that.I was younger and stupider at the time, but trust me when i say i never have looked at a child character and thought of them sexually.Ever.It's wrong.”

alright first im going start by saying this is in reference to my comment. now when refering to someone, when youre trying to earn peoples pity and understanding, you shouldnt jump to insult them. i wasn’t barking aat you. i was addressing your behaviour. and now. this is the first spot youve addressed them being “adults” in your art. every other time you mention it you call them mature which is a cop out. its only when you’re finally addressing the exact issue that you start to state how you are depecting them as adults. which, aging up a character for porn is still wrong. (which i will explain a bit better after im done this). and also you arent to be praised for seeing that as wrong. thats a normal response. no one was asking if you see it as wrong. and most people assume that until stated otherwise, this is the norm. most people see that as disgusting.

now you say to you it isnt weird. listen. to you it isnt weird because its your art and you dont like being called out for drawing CP. do you see what im getting at? now also i dont know what you’re talkign about here so i wont address it incase i get the wrong impression and speak out of line, however you say you’ve never looked at a child character sexually. yet you drew cynder and spyro intimately. understand this. aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. which. is. wrong.

im not addressing the last two paragraphs on the journal as it is just them praising their followers for praising them, however i will address their comment ont their art piece. 

“ And since apparently some people don't understand this, S/C are 18+ here.If anyone ever assumes i would draw children having sex, i swear to God... “

from what i can tell this was a saveface. they put this comment once they censored the piece. their fA has the piece as well and they dont address the age of the characters. which means that this was just added on to prevent them from the issues being addressed by commenters.

now from what i can tell. their AU doesnt really exist apart from some world building. i couldnt find a long detailed AU where the characters were aged up and lived a life. the only time ive found them mentioning the AU is when they talked about the art piece. whats that mean? it doesnt really exist. not publicly atleast. which means the “AU” could entirely just mean its an excuse to draw porn of the characters. now that last bit sounds like me picking for straws i understand. however it is  very possible. heres a post that explains why its not good to age up characters. (understand that im aware the post is discussing and age gap however it addresses some good points)

heres the post

now if you read it you’ll see this part.  “ aging up is taking two characters who would have an inappropriate relationship in canon, seeing their relationship as romantic, and then aging them up because you want some way for them to be together. and in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay”. now i want oyu to pay attention to this part. “in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay.”

you’re taking characters you saw in canon, and changing them to fit your view in a way that the public would deem okay. You’re taking something you saw in canon, in this case two children who seem at the most mildly puppy lovish (like a play ground crush), and you’re manipulating it so that you can view the canon relationship in a less taboo way. like i said earlier, aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. aging a character up doesn’t change the way you view them or their relationships. no matter how much you insist you are smarter than most and you really do view the character as an adult, you dont. thats bull.

now onto some smaller stuff that they didnt because wow. iconic i guess..

although i usually block out names this is a gross mentality. the entire comment is disgusting. and at the end “i would love to see some more sexy spyro x cynder from you” solidifies it. not to mention that fae/fox is essentially encouraging it. saying they will continue to draw it. meaning they havent learned anything from this experience. youre 23 dude.

and now some abliesm

“but lolbit you stupid bafoon. they didnt say anything themself. duuuhhh”

yes im aware. here they are saying it themself. 

ahh.. gotta love that... really gotta hammer in that sparkling personality of theirs.

TD;LR foxdragonlover on deviantart, FaeFierceVulpine on furaffinity and  onefiercefox here on tumblr drew cynder and spyro nsfw art (which classifies as CP) and then defended their art all the while blocking people who called them out for it. they claimed it featured 18 plus characters only after they were called out for it. they then made a post about it essentially crying about it and pinning the blame on those who called them out for it. They are a 23 year old. they’ve also said some abliest stuff and have just generally been nasty.

anyway i cant believe i did this. this post is huge and im so sorry. i didnt intend for it to be that big. i wanted to be as detailed as possible and make sure i touched on everything i could. now its 3 am and im tired. if anything looks wrong tell me and i’ll change it. i may address their comment to me later (the comment in the starting pictures). im outa energy

[overbakedone]

1

this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.

instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.

im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.

i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.

i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.

one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.

fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.

alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.

i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i  met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.

am i an unlikable person

the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol 

so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know. 

thanks for listening   i guess 

[mrfreezebug]

Idk I’ve mentioned a few shitty exes in passing before. But I never go into detail. And idk man due to recent events I’m just gonna vent a little bit about a piece of emmett dating history. CW: Bad bad bad relationship things  tl;dr tl;dr tl;dr  s orry if you’re on mobile 

So like YEARS AGO I got technically broken up with 3 times over a three month period which resulted in me being stoned out of my mind for three weeks straight and shit faced when i wasn’t up all up there. I just felt horrible. And through all that... I managed to meet someone who seemed super chill, fun, and nice and junk. And while we were casually seeing each other I got to meet new people and swing with them a lil. It was super therapeutic and they seemed so open minded and like they knew themselves so well... and I was still so lonely that I thought even though I didn’t have feelings yet I admired the FUCK out of them in the moment and thought i could grow to really like them?? We talked about it a lot and they sounded super understanding. Even though they constantly asked if I was ready they kept telling me they wanted "easy” as much as I did... But once I let go of my apprehensions of getting with them officially...  It turned out to be a big mistake. SO shit happened and once we became official the person who I was seeing before who ghosted suddenly messaged me bein all “sorry babe” and I was all: “I gotta tell u something” And so I told them I was seeing someone else on accounta how they just ditched me for a month with no response. And they asked me who And I told them And they told me to get the fuck out that they were a trash person. They also guilted me for moving on. “I leave for a week and you’re already on to someone else??” like R U K I D D I N G M E and I thought they were just being a salty jealous piece of bitch so I told them to chill. But they wanted closure and I’m nice so I said ok to meeting up in person. But the person I was seeing currently said they feared for my safety and that I’d cheat on them with that person. (Needless 2say they did not like eachother) And I was just??? “I wouldn’t cheat and what sorta safety concerns r there” And they were all “they’ll rape you or something and I don’t want to date someone who puts themself in the position to be raped” That was a pretty big red flag lmfao.

I should have just told both them to fuck off then but Ive never learned to really just leave anyone like that before. Im way better at it now but before I didn’t want to break ties with the only person who seemed to want to be around me and make me happy at that moment... so I just ignored that gross comment and I just told the other person we couldn’t meet.

But sure enough that weird kinda controlling situation turned into 8months of a hellish relationship where they were just SCREAMING at me for EVERYTHING. Like they literally screamed all the time. There were more times I was being yelled at than not??? Other people often told them to even calm the fuck down in public. It was wild. The screaming bullshit got to the point where THEIR friends came to me to see if I was okay. They’d literally sit me down and ask me if they physically harmed me. Which, they didn’t but there were threats surrounding every time I forgot something or messed something up. Nothing like serious but, honestly? Who for real who says “it makes me want to smack you when you can’t remember basic things.” Thinking back to this rn is so shocking to me. Idk man.

A few times they would get way too into my face and I’d have to physically shove them away because it was too intense. Just yelling. Right in my face. I can’t even remember why they were yelling. They were just always over reacting over something small I did. It all blurred together at some point. I just know I was always either zoned the fuck out or crying.  They also would often brag about being able to make people cry also. Like “I can make anyone cry. I know what to say to I get to people the most.” And it’s fucking gross, as well as a common thing I’d run into with other friends n shit. Idk why controlling people always end up with my wimpy ass. BuT ANYWAY I also couldn’t use my computer, go to conventions, or see friends without dealing with their controlling ass. So that was also a bag of shit. My life was fucking MISERABLE Talking to them only got me so far. Like five minutes of potential mutual clarity in any situation before they’d go on a rant about their problems and it’d basically end with me saying sorry with no progress. And I was still so soft spoken then when I tried twice to break up w/them it failed. It makes me want to go back and SHAKE MYSELF like why did I put myself through that for THAT MANY MONTHS???  Another kicker: similar to my experiences with other partners I was coerced into sexual situations probably every other week tops?? By threatening to break up with me, or tell me that I suck as a partner, telling me I make them feel ugly, etc… shits fucking weird like here I was crying like 9/10 times they guilted me for not wanting sex, my face is fucking UGLY and they still wanted it?? SHIT MAN. I cried during sex a lot. It fucks with me to this day. My initial instinct is to be too afraid to say no to sex.

But they actually ended up breaking up with me bc I went to go hang out with a friend and not tell them. It was probably more of a threat to try to control me but I saw that opening and booked it so far away, man I went to Denny’s that night for the first time without worrying about upsetting them for not answering their texts right away. I actually felt BAD that I didn’t care tho?? It was dumb but this thing is still a bit of a problem for me. Even if logically they deserve to feel bad, I feel horrible for hurting anyones feelings. They seemed WAY torn up about the break up. I made some empty promises like an idiot. Telling them I’d see how I felt if they worked on their anger issues and shit. It was so fucked up when I was alone with them I felt so bad for them. I felt like I really hurt them or that I owed them something for the times they were nice to me and paid for my shit and whatnot. I also have trouble staying mad. I always just forgive and wanna move on. So we’d actually meet up with peeps at gay events n what not, I was friends with their friends at this point and I didn’t want to rock the boat with anyone even when they tried getting me back at the most random times. But I’m hella distant from people in general. It gets me into trouble with people I genuinely used to like let alone with people who stress me out lmao So they’d send me paragraphs of friendship break ups and delete me from everything then message me and try to readd me again and then get upset again that I don’t “check in on them” how “I don’t care about anyone but myself” and just all around stress me the fuck out. I just have a hard time checking in on people bc of various reasons. I’m working on my self confidence for it. And I don’t want to make people stay if that bothers them. So I just kinda let them come and go but the constant confrontation is STRESSFUL. It makes it harder to check in on anyone who pulls that shit tbh.

And NOW they’re trying to do it again after a few years and like I feel BAD again and like I should be over everything tbh it was YEARS AGO BUT I REALLY DONT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE.  IM KINDA PATHETIC T H E   E N D