#ive already almost finished the playlist for what i think i want to call the ''Hard Rock Radio'' station its 1:51 mins long with 40 songs 😗

[heyitslapis]

my Autism's really Popped Off the last couple days with my Fallout obsession

[kyeomofhearts]

Back For More | J.WW

+ summary: while adjusting to your new life in college, you couldn't help but attract the attention of wonwoo, someone who you happen to have a history with.

+ pairing: badboy!wonwoo x fem!reader

+ word count: 2.7k

+ content: badboy!wonwoo, college au, mature language, flirting (wonwoo is a menace), jealousy. [pls let me know if i missed anything!]

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

[ᝰ.ᐟ] i hope you guys enjoy this! it's most likely going to be a two-parter so definitely let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! i would greatly appreciate it if you guys reblogged (maybe with comments too ^^) since i thrive on your guys' validation :)

You were tired, very tired.

Granted, this was your own doing. Maybe if you hadn't pushed your responsibilities to the side last night you wouldn't have had to wake up so early to study for an exam, but what's done is done. This whole college thing was not going so well, to say the least. Sure, it's only the beginning of the second semester, but you already feel exhausted by all of your class workloads.

Just ten more minutes of this boring lecture and you could finally go home and crawl into bed. But… that's only if you avoid him today. Which now that you’re thinking about it, you hope he isn’t waiting for you outside, again. That would be the last thing you needed today.

With that being said, things have felt a little weird if you were being honest. Of course, this was your first year of university, so things were bound to feel new and different. But there was something, or rather someone that was making you feel strange.

Around two weeks ago you noticed that Wonwoo, an old classmate of yours, had recently started to become a bit friendly towards you. While that normally wouldn’t be considered weird, you couldn’t help but feel skeptical about his intentions. You knew the kind of people he surrounded himself with, and especially the girls he would go after; which was the exact opposite of you. So what exactly did he want from you?

What also makes this situation more odd is that you’ve basically known Wonwoo for your whole life. Of course, you don’t actually know him, you just happened to go to the same elementary, middle, and high school (which is insane if you think about it). Acquaintance is a perfect word to describe your relationship with him, nothing more nothing less. So yeah… it’s a little weird when the guy you have been around for (almost) your whole life is suddenly trying to befriend you, there definitely had to be something wrong with him.

All you knew about Wonwoo was that he was on the more reserved and quiet side; mainly keeping to himself most of the time. His group of friends was quite the opposite of him, which always made you wonder how he even became friends with them in the first place.

Seeing how the lecture was ending soon, you started to pack your stuff; you were more than ready to dash straight out of the classroom. Having finished all of your assignments for today, you had nothing left to worry about. So once the professor had made her goodbyes, you made a straight beeline to the door, nothing was going to hold you back from your long-awaited nap. Your pace was brisk, attempting to avoid the backed-up main exit, you decided to go to the opposite door. The walk back to your apartment wasn’t too bad either, most of the time you saw it as a way to daydream and listen to music. So while you scrolled through your various playlists, you happened to miss the (very obvious) figure following you.

Wonwoo called out your name a few times until it finally dawned on him that you had your headphones on. He took a few long strides to catch up to you; he was very adamant on getting your attention this morning. With ease, he quickly plucked your headphones off of your head.

“What are we listening to today?” He said while adjusting the headphones on his head. It took you a second to fully process what he was doing. You knew he was doing it to provoke you, but you were determined to not let that happen today. So to his surprise, you simply kept walking. You figured that he would continue with his antics if you gave him the reaction that he wanted so you did the opposite, you ignored him.

What shocked him the most was seeing you pull out an old pair of earbuds and plugging them into your phone. He was dumbfounded to say the least, how were you so prepared and why were you ignoring him?

And again, he quickly caught up with a few simple steps. He took your headphones off of his head and tapped them against your shoulder.

With a tired sigh, you turned around to face him but couldn’t help but admire his face. You really didn't want to lose that ‘expressionless’ look you were going for (to help you ignore him of course), but that small smile of his was enough to crack you down. It's like he knew that it was your one weakness when it came to him. This was the most annoying part of it all. Anytime he smiled or looked at you, a tiny part inside you secretly liked it, making you crave his attention at times.

Objectively speaking, Wonwoo was very handsome. That was something you could never deny, you would even go as far as to say that he was your type but you didn't particularly like the people he called his ‘friends’ so you were stuck in a weird limbo.

“Is there something on my face, birdy?”

You scoffed at the nickname. “I told you not to call me that.”

Wonwoo’s eyes were looking straight into yours, a smirk slowly creeping up to his lips. It didn't help that he was looking really good today either, his messy hair combined with the whole biker fit did wonders for your eyes. He was about to say something before you heard your ringtone go off, evidently cutting him off.

Oh.

It was Hyunwoo. That's odd... you finished your shared project with him rather early, what could he be calling you about? Either way, you answered the random call in front of a rather annoyed Wonwoo.

"Hello?"

"Heyyy yn, I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch later today?" You couldn't help but feel your eyes widen at his sudden question. Since when did he want to hang out with you? Last time you checked he had a plethora of girls that he was talking to... maybe he was interested in you? No, you shouldn't get too ahead of yourself...

"Um... let me check if I have anything to do first. Can I call you back?" You knew that you sounded nervous but how else were you supposed to feel when the cute guy from your physics class was literally asking you to eat lunch with him?

As soon as you ended the call, you felt Wonwoo's arm snake its way down to your waist. You couldn’t help but yelp at the sudden intimate contact. Chuckling at your reaction, he leaned down, closer to your ear. “Who was that?”

"No one." You stated simply, it wasn't his business anyway.

"Hm, okay," Wonwoo rested his head on your shoulder, continuing to speak lowly in your ear. "I'll remember that birdy."

Before you could even come up with something to counter him, he decided to speak up once again.

"Well, I do have something rather important to tell you." His voice was so calm and soothing, you could honestly listen to it for hours on end if you had the chance.

"What is it?" You hoped he couldn't sense your rather, embarrassing, curiosity.

"Heard you used to have a little crush on me," his voice was evidently smug, knowing that this would surely get a rise out of you.

Which it did.

Your face burned at the memories of when you used to have a crush on Wonwoo. But, that had to be in fourth grade… so how could he have known about that? Nonetheless, you scoffed at his statement, not wanting to know that you were a little embarrassed by the sudden reminder.

“Key word, had,” you rolled your eyes at him. This did make you curious though, who could have possibly told him that? So you asked him exactly that.

“How do you even know about that?” His smile never faltered even as you lightly pushed his hand away from your waist. If anything, this made him want to touch you even more.

“I have my ways,” he stated simply. Of course, he does. You hated when he would shrug things off, now this was going to bother you for the entire week!

One thing about Wonwoo was that he has always been curious about you, this interest stemming back all the way to your elementary days. This curiosity eventually intensified in junior year of high school when you began to show your blatant distaste towards him. He just had to get to know you.

He looked down at you, his face was unreadable like always. You never knew what was going on in that mind of his.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging out with your actual friends?" Sometimes you couldn't help but blurt out your thoughts to him even if they sounded a bit rude. His face faltered for a split second, probably caught off guard by the random question. Shoot, you really didn’t mean to say that out loud. Although, it looks like Wonwoo didn’t take any offense to your sudden question. If anything, it made him... smile?

“I am hanging out with my friend,” he stopped you to face him, “which is you.” You rolled your eyes at him. That had to be the corniest thing he has ever said to you if you were being honest. You just hated that giddy feeling he would give you any time he said something remotely cheesy.

"Ugh, you're so dumb," you groaned while checking the time on your phone. It was getting close to noon and you hadn't responded to Hyunwoo's question from earlier. Maybe it was best if you didn't go... who knows what he wanted from you. If you were being completely honest, you didn't know if you had it in you to see other people at the moment, aside from Wonwoo of course.

"Have somewhere to be?" Wonwoo asked, a hint of concern peeking through his voice.

"No, thank god, but I do have a scheduled nap to get to so if you don't mind-" you were cut off by the sound of an engine revving, making your body jump at the unexpected noise. You turned to see where the source of the commotion was coming from but then realized it was coming from a group of bikers nearby; most likely Wonwoo's friends.

Or so you thought?

Wonwoo didn't seem too pleased with the group that was getting closer to where the two of you were. On the contrary, Wonwoo looked pissed. His jaw was visibly clenched, the gentle grip he had on your waist tightened, and his eyes lost that playful spark he had earlier. You couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking about how hot Wonwoo looked when he was angry. Of course, you would never want to be on the receiving end of his anger but seeing it on the sidelines was quite... interesting.

Wait. This might actually be serious, so it's best if you leave before anything crazy happens.

"I think I'm going to head out now..." you said quietly as you tried to slip away from Wonwoo's (awfully) strong grasp.

He turned to look at you, his eyes softening once they landed on your figure. Why did they have to come and bother him at this exact moment? He knew that whatever was going to happen was not going to be pretty, but he found himself reluctant to let you go.

Before truly letting you go, he quietly asked, "Are you sure? I can take you home if you want me to." As soft as his voice was, he still managed to sound composed which was comforting considering the situation.

You nodded in response, "I don't live that far from here so it's fine, thank you for the offer though." You managed to flash him a small, awkward smile before turning away from him and heading toward the direction of your apartment. You didn't know what exactly was going on between those guys and Wonwoo but it for sure wasn't friendly. Although it wasn't exactly your issue, you couldn't help but feel worried about Wonwoo, even if he was a pain in the ass sometimes.

Much to your dismay, that scheduled nap never came your way that day.

You blame Wonwoo, how were you supposed to sleep peacefully knowing he was probably getting jumped? Okay, you might be jumping to conclusions but what else were you supposed to think about when he was visibly angry at the mere sight of those guys?

Realistically speaking, it's only been two days since that whole incident happened. Granted, you haven't seen Wonwoo since then but that could mean a lot of things.

[...]

While you were in line to get a smoothie from one of the pop-up shops near the campus, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulder.

"Did my little birdy miss me?" You felt Wonwoo say right next to your ear, his breath fanning across your earlobe. It sent a wave of tingles down your spine, making you shudder in turn. Though you weren't a fan of his spontaneous appearance.

"God, you need to stop doing that! I almost slapped you I swear-" You stopped mid-way once you turned around and saw his face. He had a few cuts on his lips and eyebrows and one big bruise across his cheek. Those guys really did a number on him.

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern, "are you okay?"

He tried to wave it off but you could tell he was bothered by your question, "It's fine, really, don't worry about it." Was he insane? How were you not going to worry when he was visibly injured?

"Were these from the guys on Tuesday?" You couldn't help but ask, where else would he get these cuts and bruises if it didn't come from them?

His demeanor immediately switched and he pushed himself away from you.

"It's none of your business so stay out of it."

"Okay." That was the only thing you said before grabbing your smoothie from the worker and quickly walking away from the shop. If he wanted to be like that then so be it. You most definitely were not going to wait for him to 'open up' by all means, he could throw himself a pity party for all you care.

"Wait-" He tried reaching for your arm but you were too quick for him. Your steps were swift, helping you create a reasonable distance between you and Wonwoo. He called out your name a few times before giving up, he didn't want to gather any unwanted attention from the people nearby. Reaching your pace, Wonwoo was finally close enough to grab your wrist and make you look at him.

"Are you seriously ignoring me?" His voice was a bit jagged, no doubt coming from the unexpected cardio you made him do to catch up to you.

Unfortunately for him, you were petty. "You said it wasn't my business, so please do not talk to me because I really do not care." You brushed past him once again this time making sure he could not grab your arms or wrists.

He exhaled in annoyance, "Look I'm sorry-" Wonwoo was mid-apology before being abruptly cut off by the voice of a guy yelling your name out loud.

Speaking of the devil, what immaculate timing.

"Hey yn! Did you still want to get food after class?" Hyunwoo jogged to where you were standing but saw how Wonwoo was still trying to talk to you.

"Sorry, were you busy with him?"

You instantly responded to Hyunwoo, "No, he was just asking for directions, but yeah I'm down for food." Like before, you made your way towards Hyunwoo, making sure to bump into Wonwoo. He couldn't help but stay frozen in place as he watched you walk to class with some random guy, jealousy slowly invading his mind.

Directions? Did she really...?

As much as Wonwoo wanted to be mad at you, he really had no one to blame but himself. The whole situation with his old group of 'friends' was really getting to him so once you popped that question it just seemed to send him over the edge. He just didn't know how far you would go to express your annoyance towards him. Now all he had to do was find a way to properly apologize to you before that Hyunwoo guy got to you first.

The only thing stopping him? He didn't have your number or any of your socials...

Part Two: II

[bitchassbucky]

.zip

Word Count: 2k

Warning/s: toxic/abusive relationship dynamics, gaslighting and manipulation, abduction, injuries were mentioned, stalking, dark!bucky x dark!reader, emotionally/mentally unstable!reader, dismemberment (not gore-y but still), three very special character mentions, shady corporate stuff, career sabotage?, food mention, sedation/drugging, f-words.

A/N: oh my god, this is the final chapter of CTRL. to all who read from the start, thank y'all so fucking much - from the bottom of my big-ass heart, thank you so much for coming along with this journey. this is my first FINISHED series, oh my god. to @babyboibucky (CTRL's number one fan), @sarge-barnes-sir, and @borikenlove thank you so much for indulging my inner degenerate GHJSDFG and for screaming (affectionately) at me when i first let y'all read the finished draft.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END (just yet), i will be uploading TWO epilogues very soon: the explicit version and the not-so-explicit version. stay tuned!

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

epilogue:

.eps (explicit)

.eps (cut)

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

Your demeanor, character, even tone, changed.

Calculated, cold, unnerving.

But you sat there like a housewife in front of her husband, eating spaghetti and meatballs. Acting all dandy like there isn’t a man strapped onto the chair four feet away from you.

“C’mon, darling, eat! I made your favorite,” your eyes twinkled as Bucky helplessly tugged on his restraints, “oh, sorry, you’re tied up.”

Hm, sick in the head, bad for the heart.

“What do you want?” Oh, wow, even talking hurts for him. His throat is all dried up, he tasted something bitter under his tongue.

You chuckled, moving half a meatball around your mostly empty plate, “for you to stop treating me like I’m stupid.” You spear the meat with your fork, swirling it in the sauce, “I know you’ve been… checking in on me, Bucky.”

Oh, fuck.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was-- I mean, look at you--” He’s making it worse. You’re mad. You’re angry because he was being a good friend.

He only did that because you were lonely and he’s right: you are lonely.

So lonely that you’re willing to kidnap a grown man to keep you company, “I’m so sad for you.”

“You’re aware you’re the one’s been tied up, right?” You’re curt as you should be, scooting over near Bucky to feed him.

“I can’t eat that—” If he wasn’t sitting down and tied, Bucky would’ve vaulted over you and called the neighbors, she’s fucking crazy!

You giggled, rolling your eyes as if he had the freedom to make a choice right now, “if you’re thinking of screaming… More than half of my neighbors are felons or on parole, I doubt that they’ll call 911.”

Jutting forward the fork, you let the prongs gently touch Bucky’s lips, “now, eat! We have so much to talk about.”

“No. I don’t-- I’m not hungry.” He shakes his head, the fork hitting his chin and clanking down the floor.

“Just eat the fucking food, Steve!”

Bucky flinched at your sudden outburst. The words—the name—seeping in a moment later. Steve? Who the hell is Steve? Was he your husband? Boyfriend? His head throbbed again, his mouth filling with saliva like he’s about to throw up.

You kneel down, pulling a napkin from the table to wipe the meat and the sauce from the floor.

“This better not stain.”

—

He promised thrice.

Once over pasta and meatballs, once over dessert, and once when you were clearing the table.

You relented, of course. Half because you love him and half because it’s getting annoying.

“As long as you don’t leave me, okay?”

“Yes, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

Bucky’s still seating on the dinner chair, slightly slumped without the ropes holding him up, “look, I’m really sorry about the anesthetic, I went overboard with it.” You look over to him—at least he’s regaining his fingers and arms again.

“It’s okay, babe, I wouldn’t trust me either.” If he could stand up, he’d go over and hug you. Helping with the dishes, peppering you with sweet kisses.

A genuine laugh slips out of your lips, “ugh, still… I’m really sorry.”

The last of the plates were neatly stacked, cups and cutleries were placed gently on a drying rack. It was getting late, you could tell.

“I’m not mad, by the way.” You muse, prompting Bucky to lean forward, listening to you.

“What do you mean?” He takes your hand into his, ever so gently.

“You did that,” you squeeze his hand back, gazing into his soulful eyes, “because you love me.”

Did you know that some people could read microexpressions well? Bucky went through a whole lot of them before answering, “of course, I do.”

Contemplating whether you call him out on it or not, you hum, placing a gentle hand on his jaw, “it’s okay, you’ll learn how to love me.”

He has to. He has no other choice.

Bucky clears his throat, “have you seen my phone?” His tone was hopeful, upbeat, maybe he can reach out to someone, anyone, before you can do any more damage.

“Yeah, ‘s on the couch.”

He tried to move, he really did. Bucky’s fairly strong, he can bench an easy 140 on a good day. But even the beefiest motherfuckers have no match for Propofol.

“Don’t worry about your friends, they’re not worried about you, Buck.” The coolness of your tone sends Bucky into a panic—again. “D’you wanna check your messages though? There’s a lot of ‘em.”

Grabbing his phone, you asked Siri to read him his latest notifications.

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

From Joaquin: Where are you, man?

From John W.: Do you have copies?

Urgent: Notice of Immediate Termination

Urgent: Gross Misconduct

From Joaquin: Bucky, what the fuck?

From Samuel Wilson: Pick up the phone, Barnes. You’re fired.

17 missed calls from an unknown number

From John W.: I knew you were a freak but holy shit, dude!

72 text messages from an unknown number

Bucky never really liked horror movies. It made him jumpy and anxious. Too paranoid, even. But now? Now he’s sure that people have never experienced sheer fright before.

His toes cramped inside his boots, his feet were cold, sweating. The little hairs on his legs stood up, goosebumps littering the entirety of his body. If he held his breath, he’s sure he could hear his heart hammering out of his chest. The blood rushes past his ears and onto the base of his skull—he’s gonna be sick.

“What,” he gulped back the saliva pooling in his mouth, “what did you do?”

You’re irritatingly calm, “well, I mean… We’re already together, what do you need those for, right?”

Putting a warm hand over his forehead, you cooed, “poor thing, you look sick.”

—

Bucky thinks it’s well past midnight when the anesthetic wore off.

His limbs were heavy, he had to lean on the wall every couple of steps to regain his balance. Helpless. He’s helpless and you both know it. As if it’s a bear trap, Bucky carefully took his phone from the coffee table.

Why would you leave it unattended?

The screen lights up as soon as he picked up, his lock screen littered with ‘fuck yous’, ‘sicko’, and his personal favorite, ‘motherfucker.’

Ignoring the glaring messages, he went straight for the emergency dialler and—you took out his SIM card, snapping it into two neat pieces, placing it beside the phone.

Bitch.

The golden surface of the card was scratched too, he can’t do anything, use it as a toothpick, maybe? His phone was just as good as a paperweight.

He looks out of the window, limping towards it. Even if he could climb over, it would take him forever to get onto the street. Your neighbors would probably think that he’s just on a bad trip.

“It’s bolted shut. Perks of living alone as a single female.” Your voice made him flinch back, like a kid whose hand was halfway down the cookie jar.

Bucky plays it off with a cough, he can’t be weak now, “no, babe, I was checking out a noise. You ready for bed?”

You smiled softly, taking his hand and draping his arm on your shoulders as you prop him against you, “almost, big guy. Gotta get you settled in bed first. Are you tired?”

Nodding, Bucky kisses your temple, “yeah.” He just needs to play with your sick little games until he regains his strength.

Where would he go? His reputation and his job are besmirched, his apartment is probably crawling with forensics too.

“You fell down and banged your head earlier. Nasty cut on your head too. I told you to not tire yourself much.”

You hit and drugged me but I digress, “Yes, darling. ‘M sorry.”

“You scared me, Buck. I thought you were dead.” Are these tears forming in your eyes?

“I’m not leaving you, not by any chance. I promise.”

He promises a fourth time.

—

Your bedroom was bigger than he thought. But of course, he only saw your desk and your bed through the webcam.

Save from the Ted Bundy-esque corkboard you have in front of your workspace, he feels weirdly at home. You tucked him in, reminding him to wake up every two hours for the painkillers.

“You’re not going to bed?” He muses from behind you, all cocooned in your blankets.

“Just need to take this phone call real quick, babe.” Your back was turned from him as you work on your company laptop. He noticed that the webcam is covered with white tape.

The sound of an incoming call filled the room before you quickly answer it, your voice turning hoarse and raspy as if you’ve been crying.

Hi, Mr. Wilson. I’m so sorry for the late call. Do I- do I need to come in tomorrow? I just... I don’t feel comfortable facing everyone—I used all my home hours this week and—

Miss L/N, I’m glad you reached out to me. Is it okay if I record this call for security purposes? It’s just for you, me, and the HR department.

You turned to Bucky, your face is stone-cold but your voice belonged to someone so utterly helpless.

No, you don’t have to call into work tomorrow… Or any other day.

A dainty gasp and a fucking sob comes out of your mouth, your eyes were telling a different story.

Am I fired?

God, no. Please, Miss L/N, don’t worry about that. We want you with us through this entire debacle. We want you to take some time off—paid. We’ll also grant you… a grievance package.

You could almost hear what he would say next.

As long as you don’t talk to any members of the press or any journalists until our friends in the PR department can clean this up.

A triumphant smile creeps on your bare features, putting a finger in front of your lips, you mimic a ‘shh’ gesture to Bucky.

You round up another mirthless sob as the CEO drones on about the bureaucracy of this whole thing.

He was really nice to me, you know? He took me out on dinners and lunches. He even brought me to his place and I– nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m really sorry, Miss L/N. I thought he was…

A good guy? I really thought so too.

Please stay offline for a bit, just for the weekend, alright? Someone from the HR department will be in touch with you for the process. We don’t wanna be a hassle more than what Barnes is. On our behalf, please accept our deepest apologies.

Jesus, this guy had the PR department cook up an apology letter.

Thank you—thank you so much, Mr. Wilson. I’ll keep in touch.

You burst out in laughter a second after the call ended. Hearty laughter, the one where you can feel your belly tightening.

“Did you hear how good I was, baby? Oh my god, we had them fooled.”

We? Fuck your ‘we.’

You slide over the covers, propping up yourself with your elbow as you turn to face Bucky, “don’t worry, you don’t need them anymore. You have me, yeah? We have each other.”

—

Out of the most bizarre things that happened to him last week, finding dismembered fingers in the fridge was the least of his concerns.

“Honey!” Bucky calls out, holding the ziplock bag with a pair of tongs.

You bound down the stairs, your laptop in hand as you squint, “what am I looking at?”

Bucky hesitated, maybe he’s going insane too, “fingers. Dismembered fingers—are these yours?”

Setting down the laptop onto the table, you peck him on the cheek, smiling as if him holding a baggie with human remains is just your Sunday normal, “god, I hope not. I need my hands to do things.”

As soon as you look back at him, you dropped the facade: “those are Steve’s. Well, used to be.”

Bucky’s afraid to ask the question where’s the rest of him?

“You know the term pinky promise, right? Well, it has a dark origin.”

Just as fast as a bustling train, Bucky rakes his brain for all the times he promised you something. Hoping that he won’t end up with a stump for a hand.

One vividly bright memory is seared into his brain though, the days blurred together with sharp edges and mismatched colors: we love how we were taught to love.

So, who taught you how to love like this?

[snapdragon-mina]

Critical Beauty

A/n: This is my part of the POCuties Playlist Collab :)

I love bo with my WHOLE heart. I'm sorry if it seems rushed or ooc, ive been hella stressed lmao. Anyway, enjoy this fic based on Critical Beauty by Pentagon.

Warnings: Swearing? I think that's all.

•••

You became friends with Konoha Akinori rather easily when you transferred. He was fun to be around and you guys just clicked. After a few weeks of friendship, he offered for you to come watch him and the team practice.

"Hey, (l/n), you don't have anything to do after school... Do you?" He asked.

"Uh no, not that I know of. Why?"

"I wanted to see if you'd come watch me and the others practice." He shrugged as he relaxed in his seat keeping a watchful eye on the clock.

"Volleyball practice? That's a bunch of hot sweaty men in one place, sir who do you take me for?" You held a look of disgust on your face as you looked at him. Konoha snorted and shot you a look.

"You don't wanna know."

You faked offense but agreed to watch his practice after class.

You arrived shortly after practice had already begun. You opted for quietly taking a seat as nobody had even seemed to notice you slip into the gym. You were there for a good five minutes before Konoha realized you were already here. He had stopped dead in his tracks, piquing someone's attention.

"Wait, (l/n), when did you get here?"

You rolled your eyes at the question. "Been here for like 5 minutes, thanks for finally noticing tho." As the two of you were joking around you could feel someone else's eyes on you.

"Konoha, why is the one with that phat ass staring at me-"

As soon as those words left your lips, Bokuto froze and all eyes were on him. Akaashi bumped his shoulder against Bokuto's and that knocked him out of his semi-frozen state. "What's your name?" He blurted out almost immediately.

You raised an eyebrow but answered him nonetheless. "I'm (l/n) (y/n); Konoha's only friend."

Konoha flipped you off at that.

"I'm Bokuto Kōtarō, Its nice to meet you (l/n)-chan!" He smiled really wide up at you.

"(l/n)-chan, huh? Okay." You smiled back down at him and he swears he felt his heart swell.

•••

At this point the entire school knew. A few days ago, you bumped into Bokuto in the hallways. As you went to apologize, his eyes lit up and he reached into his bag, pulling out a -somehow perfectly intact- flower. "(l/n)-chan! This morning I was walking, and there was a rose. If you like it you can take it!"

"Oh, thank you, Bo. Pink is actually one of my favorite colors." You smiled as you gently took the rose from his hands.

His eyes widened slightly at your smile and shifted his eyes away. "I never knew you liked pink... But now that you're holding it in front of me, It suits you." He walked off before you could notice the growing warmth spreading through his face.

That wasn't the only time, though. Over the course of three months, you would receive dozens of gifts. Anything ranging from flowers, to food, to jewelry. He always said something that made it super obvious how absolutely infatuated he was with you. However, his dumb ass didn't even realize he was being obvious until you called him out during his latest gift.

Bokuto came up to you after one of his practices. "Something annoying but sparkling was strangely in my pocket. I swear I don't know how it got there." He handed you a silver ring with some sort of gem inside of it. Was it real? You have no idea but you wouldn't put it past him if it was. "You can have it, since my fingers dont fit."

You looked at him skeptically before slipping the ring onto one of your fingers. His face started heating up again as he watched you and you could've sworn you heard something along the lines of: "it fits on your finger so well that it gives me chills."

"Are you positive you have no idea where it came from?" You asked, peeping the ring that looked eerily similar to the one he just gave you, on his finger.

"Yep! Not a clue. It's just a coincidence that the same one happens to be on my finger too."

At this point you'd had enough. You stared him directly in his eyes, not saying or doing anything; waiting for him to crack.

He started shifting his weight from leg to leg under your gaze. "Don't stare at me like that." You didn't let up. "Fine, what are you curious about?" He tried to look anywhere but directly at you.

"Bo, you keep gifting me these little gifts. I really do appreciate them, but I need an explanation." You crossed your arms and waited patiently.

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "I don't need to say the obvious again, it's written all over your face."

You grinned. "I'm not saying anything in response until I get a proper confession. Details and everything." Bokuto's eyes widened.

"I'm not ready to-"

Your smile softened. "That's fine, Bo. I already adore you as is, so I'll wait for you. Just do it when it feels right for you." The panicked look on his face dissipated and he nodded.

"Okay! Wait for me until then, please." And with that he ran off to do God knows what.

•••

Four more months and Bokuto was still giving you gifts, but he had yet to actually "confess properly". You were patient through it all and then one day, Bokuto stopped giving you gifts.

Your thoughts were spiralling as you questioned why. Why would he stop? Did he mean to? Did this fucking idiot go broke buying me all that shit? You shook your head as you walked towards you locker. You almost didn't notice Konoha standing there with a smug little shit eating grin as he held out a letter with a little heart seal on it.

"Konoha what are you-"

"(l/n)-chan I'm so in love with you, please make me the happiest man in the entire world and accept my confession!" It was obvious that he was faking. He could barely get through a word without laughing.

"Eat shit and die." You laughed as you snatched the letter from his hands.

"It's actually Bokuto-san's letter. He was supposed to give it to you like a week ago but he chickened out and Akaashi-san had to get the letter from him. He asked me to deliver it to you since we're in the same class and all."

"Oh say less" He waved goodbye to you and walked off, leaving you with the letter. You carefully opened it and read it to yourself silently.

"I would fall over and die if I said this in person, but this is a letter! :)

Day after day I live for you, I'll give you everything. If Im with you I swear everywhere will feel like Hollywood. You have the best smile I've ever seen and everytime you smile I feel really hot, it's like I'm addicted to you. I just want you to know that I really really really like you.

-Bo <3"

You smiled softly before placing the letter in your bookbag and getting what you need out of your locker.

After class ended for the day, you walked towards the gym as you knew volleyball practice was being held today. The moment you pushed the door open, Bokuto's head snapped up and he looked at you. "(y/n)!"

"Ooh first name basis I see. Okay then, Hi Kōtarō." You smiled. He returned it as he dropped what he was doing and rushed to give you a hug. You returned it with a laugh. "Dude, you're all sweaty."

He pulled away and apologized quickly. "So uhm, did you? I mean, did Konoha give you my letter?"

"He did. Kou, you are the absolute fucking cutest." His smile grew almost 10 times wider. He looked and felt nothing but pure euphoria at that response. You could hear his signature "Hey Hey Hey" outside with how happy he felt. He all but peppered little kisses all over your face.

"Bokuto-san we have to finish practice." Akaashi called out and Bokuto nodded and promised that he'd take you out on a real date as soon as he was able to.

"I swear I'll make you as happy as you made me."

[duckymcdoorknob]

BNHA Boys Headcannons:

He Hears You Sing for the First Time.

Hi fellas!! Welcome to my BNHA headcannons! I wanted to write something other than my normal fics, so I’ll be posting a master list of these scenarios and updating them mostly bi-weekly! ❤️✨

————————————

Katsuki Bakugo:

Tonight was a calm night during the sports festival. Classes 1-A and 1-B were at a shady bar, engaged in a heavy karaoke contest. It all started with a certain Monoma deciding that 1-B could be superior to 1-A in anything they wanted. Jirou decided to pick a karaoke contest.

Inside, you were mentally cursing yourself. You had never revealed your talent and it didn’t match with your quirk whatsoever. Nonetheless, If it would get that corn-headed bastard to shut up, you were willing to make a personal sacrifice.

After Jirou finished her rendition of I Hate Myself for Lovin’ You, she received almost max on the applause-o-meter. Next it was Tetsutetsu’s turn. You spaced out trying to figure out what you were going to sing. Then it hit. The best song. You didn’t even have to sing, just speak fast. It was perfect.

Tetsutetsu received low applause, making you feel bad in a way, but not too much.

“Next to the stage. Class 1-A, (Y/N) Tamayaki” Monoma announced.

As you passed by him, he flicked your shoulder. You turned your head and scowled at him, “if you’re scared about me beating your 5 on the meter...” you walked on the stage and tapped the mic, “you should be.”

You whispered to the DJ, selecting your most straightforward repertoire song, It’s The End of The World As We Know It

The familiar tinking of the intro played, gaining some hoots and hollers from the crowds. You took to the microphone, “that’s great it starts with an earthquake, birds, snakes and aeroplanes, Lenny Bruce is not afraid”

You masterfully complete the first verse, without a misstep or stutter. Seeing Monoma look like a deer in headlights made it all the more satisfying. When moving into the chorus, you notice a head full of blonde spikes walk through the door.

“Six o’ clock, Tv hour...” you spoke so fluidly it was almost mechanical. The usually stoic boy turned to look at you with a hint of shock in face. You moved through the second verse with a little wobble, mixing a word or two after seeing the explosive blonde.

“The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mt. St. Edelide...”

After the entirety of the bar shouted “Leonard Bernstein” at you, your turn was almost up. You finished the song with full power in your voice.

The audience erupted into boisterous cheering, leaving you dazed on the stage. Jirou ushered you away with a, “why the hell didn’t you tell us you sang?”

As you passed by Bakugo, you felt a rough hand on your shoulder.

“Oy extra,” a gruff voice sounded, “that was pretty damn cool. Since when do you do that shit?”

Your cockiness from Monoma never left you, “it’s always been there, pretty boy, just never let anyone know it.” You get on your toes and whisper in his ear, “it goes much deeper than this. Let me know when you want to hear more.”

You walk off with Jirou, earning a high five from her. Bakugo stood dumbfounded. Maybe you weren’t an extra after all.

Izuku Midoriya:

Class 1-A’s antics never did end. Kirishima insisted on the whole class hearing his singing voice, a god awful one may I add. So, the class was broken out into full on song.

You had never shown anyone you could sing, it just didn’t fit with your quirk. So you held it off. As soon as the whole ordeal started growing, you found yourself walking to the front of the school.

You plant down on a bench, plugging in your earbuds. You scroll through your Spotify playlist, but ultimately let it shuffle. You un-tensed as the beginning of The Boys of Summer echoed in your ears. You closed your eyes and let lazy lyrics escape your lips.

“Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach...” you quietly echoed the song.

This was the true symbol of peace: no one to bother you while you listened to a bomb ass song. You didn’t notice the added weight on the bench next to you until it was too late.

“Well I can see you, your brown skin shining in the sun...” you quietly let the words escape your lips like clockwork.

You opened your eyes to take in the world around you. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw Izuku sitting right next to you.

“I-uh h-h-hi! Sorry to bother you, but you just disappeared. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

You chuckled softly. How could you be mad at this stuttering mess?

“Um (Y-Y-Y/N)? C-could you keep singing for me?” Izuku was flushed. He was embarrassed with himself, clearly.

You let out a soft breath of air, your lips curving into a smile. You let the next words of the song release from you. You leaned back onto Izuku’s lap, not thinking anything of it. You felt the boy tense up in your lap, but he ultimately relaxed and began to play with your hair.

Okay you lied, this was the true symbol of peace. You spent the whole afternoon in the same position; singing along to whatever song happened to be next in the shuffle.

Denki Kaminari: (got a little carried away here. I’m a Kami hoe)

Certain days bring certain events that you can never plan for. The spring festival most definitely had the it’s surprises in store.

You were hanging out with your friends, Mina, Bakugo, Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari. Today has been the best day you’ve ever experienced. So many fun filled events! Bakugo dominated ring toss and won a giant stuffed zebra for himself, plus a giant stuffed Pikachu for Denki. Sero won the ropes course, receiving a small teddy bear. Mina and Kirishima took on a milk bottle toss, in which they both walked away with a stuffie of their own.

“(Y/N)-Chan! You haven’t won a prize yet! What game can we all play to get one?” Mina chimed

“Oh! I’m not sure! I’m not very athletically inclined, if you catch my drift.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment.

“That’s okay! Neither am I, I just have a good throwing arm” Mina beamed back in response.

You gave her a closed-eyed grin as you continued with the group. You had to admit that you wanted a stuffie of your own, but how were you supposed to win one?

“Ooooh! Look! Look!” Kirishima’s voice suddenly rang.

You look up to see a midsize stage, a huge crowd of your fellow students and Present Mic setting up a microphone. This should be good...

“Attention studennnnntsssssaah!” A booming voice echoed through the field, “come to the stage for a cool talent show! Winner receives a speeeeeecial prizzzeee!~”

You looked at Kiri with furrowed eyebrows. You hadn’t told anyone about your singing voice yet, so you played dumb.

“What could I possibly bring to the stage? My quirk? You’ve all seen it already.” You snapped in defense while fiddling with your hair.

“You can sing! I heard you humming in the common room!” Kirishima bit back in rebuttal.

“That doesn’t mean a damn thing! And even if I could, Ive got tons of other people to go against!”

You looked amongst your friends, who all had the same look in their eyes. You hung your head down and went to Present Mic to sign up.

After a few minutes, your name was called. You mentally cursed yourself as you shuffled onto the stage.

“Next in our competition, (Y/N) Tamayaki!” Present Mic announced.

You looked at Kirishima, who gave you a thumbs up. As the music started, you sucked in a breath. This is it. The tempo grows and accompaniment becomes more intense. You can’t help but smile.

“Movin’ on the floor now baby, you’re a bird of paradise” you began to sing.

Kirishima cheered. Rio was a favorite amongst you and Kiri. You moved through the first verse with great ease.

“Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand.” You were feeling free, not holding back a bit. You sang your heart out through the next verse, masterfully completed the second chorus, and chuckled as the instrumental break sounded.

As the saxophone began to play, you felt a hand on yours and soon you were spun around. Kirishima has come up to the stage to get you to “loosen up”, but he just wanted to perform with you.

“You make me feel alive, alive alive! Luck is on my side or somethin’, I know what you’re thinkin!” You chimed as Kirishima spun you again.

You started the final chorus, while Kirishima beckoned the whole audience to sing. They all obliged except for one...

A dazed Denki stood with a pink tinge on his cheeks. He was awestruck for sure, for you had never revealed this side of you to him.

As the song ended, you stuck your microphone up in the air and smiled wide. The audience roared in applause, and you won a (favorite animal) plushie.

You exited the stage and tried to grab the voluptuous plushie, but it was so heavy you stumbled backwards.

“Woa-! Careful (Y/N)!” Kaminari cried as he caught you by your underarms, “dude! What the hell that was SO cool!!”

You chuckled and helped yourself to your feet, taking one end of the plush and Kami on the other. You both met with your group while Kaminari pestered you with questions.

Ejirou Kirishima:

Finally! Your first semester of U.A High was complete! Today was a great day for you and your classmates to hang out. So, you and your friend group decided to go have lunch somewhere fun.

“Oye Bakugo, I don’t know If I’m comfortable with you driving. Especially considering you road rage something awful.” Denki intervened your thoughts.

“Oh yeah definitely. Do not let blasty over here behind the wheel.” You agreed.

Bakugo glared daggers at the two of you. “I’m a more than adEQUATE DRIVER THANK YOU!”

“You’re welcome! But you’re not driving.” You chimed in response, “Kirishima can”

“Hell yeah!” Kirishima beamed as he trudged to the driver’s seat of his Mustang.

Bakugo called shotgun first, so you were stuck in the backseat with Denki and Sero. Middle set between these two tricksters? Can’t be as innocent as it seems.

Nonetheless, Kirishima started up the car and put the top down. “We’re riding in style today my friends.”

You chuckled and relaxed in your seat. It would be about a 45 minute drive to go where you all agreed, but it would be a fun one. Kirishima turned on his spotify, letting it shuffle. Some slow song came on and you felt your eyes get heavy...

All of the sudden, you saw your eyelids again. You opened your eyes to see that you had fallen asleep on Kami’s shoulder, and that he had done the same.

“Long day at the mill I guess?” Kirishima asked, looking at you in the rear-view mirror with a grin.

You chuckled softly, he was right. You definitely needed that nap. At that moment, your favorite song played on Kirishima’s spotify, Fallen Angel by Poison.

“WAIT! You’re a poison fan too?!” You shot up, forgetting about poor Kaminari on your shoulder. The boy woke up upon impact with the seat, and you gave him an amused puff of air.

“Jeez (y/n) I let you sleep on my shoulder and tried not to move you. But all of the sudden the tables turn and you don’t do the same? Not cool.” Denki said with a pout.

“BUT LISTEN TO THE SONG!” You chimed.

“It’s just guitar right now.” Kaminari responded as he yawned.

“ITS SO MUCH BETTER THOUGH!” You cried, “She stepped off the bus and out into the city streets.” You began to sing.

Kirishima looked in the rear-view again. He saw you absolutely jamming as you sang. He smiled fondly and turned his attention back to the road.

“Just a step away from the edge of the fall. Sometimes you can’t choose-“

“It’s like a heads you win, tails you’re gonna lose!” Kirishima started to sing with you.

“WIN BIG, MAMA’S FALLEN ANGEL, LOSE BIG, LIVIN’ OUT HER LIES.” You both erupted in to song, causing an angry Bakugo to roll his eyes and let out a fond scoff.

You and Kirishima sang your hearts out until the song ended. You repeated this pattern with all of Kirishima’s other music. You and this boy shared such similar music taste.

Kaminari and Bakugo tried to be annoyed, but they couldn’t seem to find a reason to not be amused. When a song you all knew came on, everyone started singing, even Bakugo. Upon arrival at the restaurant, everyone was smiling and ready for a nice lunch.

“I never knew you had such a nice voice (y/n)!” Kirishima cooed, “you and Jirou should totally team up and make music together!”

Your face heated up. “Oh- uh! Heh, thanks Kiri! I’m happy to hear that you’re a man of culture as well. Not many people our age know about Poison.” You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment.

Kirishima’s eyebrows raised with excitement, “oh yeah! I love older music! There’s just something about it! I mean the backing music isn’t the main focus of the song, it’s like an accompaniment for the vocals and-“

“Jesus Christ Kirishima. Get a fucking room you two, you sound like Deku with all that rambling” Bakugo’s annoyed voice sounded. You both felt your faces heat up at the comment, walking into the restaurant with a new idea in both of your minds.

Shoto Todoroki: (got carried away here too uwu)

A lonely rainy day. The boys were all at the pool for some “extra training”. It was close to your birthday and the girls were out to find a present for you. You chuckled softly at the thought. You knew straight away what the girls were planning.

“(Y/n) Chan!” Uraraka’s voice echoed through your thoughts, “were going to the shop to get a-“ she cut herself off, “some snacks for you today! We want to get some (favorite chip flavor) chips!” She beamed.

You nodded in response with a goofy grin. They’re the best friends you could ask for. All of the girls took off in an instant, leaving you in the dorms by yourself.

“Waste not want not.” You hummed to yourself as you made your way into the common room. You prepared yourself a mug of (favorite warm drink) (hot choccy gang) and planted down by the large bay window.

The world was silent. Nothing daring to make a sound, but the pitter-patter of the rain outside of the window. You sighed with great satisfaction. How could this day possibly get better? You grabbed your phone and earbuds from the couch and turned on your Spotify.

“Well... it’s just me here. I can practice my audition music if I wanted.” You thought out loud. You clicked in the playlist containing all of the songs that suited your voice the most.

You instantly relaxed and prepared to start as the familiar tweets and twitters of Green Finch and Linnet Bird played through your earbuds.

“Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird, how is it you sing?” You began to softly sing, “how can you jubilate sitting in cages, never taking wing?”

You stared out the window, as if you were acting out the scene yourself, “Outside the sky waits beckoning, beckoning, just beyond the bars.” You stood to your feet and let the music run through you. No one was here to judge you, no one could laugh or glare or, in Bakugo’s case, sneer at you. “How can you remain, staring at the rain? Maddened by the stars?”

You were now in the center of the room, sitting on the couch. “How is it you sing? Anything?” The music crescendoed into a melodious break. You continued to the window, singing the song ever so softly, as if you were singing a lullaby. “Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird, teach me how to sing.”

The rain fell harder as you plopped down on the window ledge, “if I cannot fly... let me sing.” You stared out the window with a soft smile on your face. Yes... this is the best way to spend your birthday. Completely alone, cup of (drink) in hand, singing your heart out... Nothing could beat it.

You noticed that you were out of (drink) and returned to the kitchen to pour yourself some more. Upon exiting, the cord of your earbuds snagged along the handle of a drawer. Before you had time to react, a small beam of ice froze your drink, keeping you from burning yourself.

“Are you alright, Tamayaki?”

You stood dazed, unable to process everything. Your mouth sat agape as you tried to usher a sentence.

“(Y/N)? Everything’s fine, you didn’t fall, I caught you.”

That’s when you noticed the arm gripped around yours. You turned to meet the concerned eye of your best friend, Shoto Todoroki.

“A-Ah! Gomenasai Todoroki-San!” You stuttered as your face heated up, “gee how embarrassing.”

Todoroki simply grinned with an exhale of air. Your eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed as you swallowed, “that means you’ve been here the whole time... and you heard me-“

“Singing? Yes. Your voice is quite beautiful. It was a great accompaniment to my embroidering.” Todoroki admitted with a soft smile.

“-was gonna say talk to myself but...” you covered your face with your hands, “no one’s ever heard me sing before! I was always so careful!”

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You truly have a gift.” Todoroki said softly, “if you don’t mind, I would like to embroider while you sing to me.”

You pondered. “Well you’ve already heard me, so there’s no sense in hiding. But, I do need some more (drink), because you kinda like froze my original cup.” Shoto nodded with a chuckle and turned on his heel to grab his supplies.

You smiled and retreated to the kitchen for a new cup of (drink). You then sat down on the couch, scrolling through your playlist to find something slow and quiet. When you felt the ouch weigh down next to you, you absentmindedly rested your head on his shoulder.

“Happy birthday (Y/N). Such a peaceful afternoon must be a gift.”

“Hanging with you is a gift enough.” You muttered, hoping he wouldn’t hear you.

“I feel the same. Now, I want to hear your beautiful voice again. Hop to it.” Shoto gently commanded.

You obliged and spent your quiet time with him. Hours passed and still you both sat, attention on each of your hobbies. Nothing could ruin this incredible moment. Until Uraraka bursted through the door, causing you to spill an entire mug of scalding (drink) in your lap...

“Happy friggin birthday.” You cringed as Todoroki patted your lap with a cold dish towel.

[generallybarzy]

hey there, stranger. iv

one, two, three 

an: as you can tell, i’ve been having a really, really rough time lately. I haven’t been posting, so I hope the length of this chapter makes up for it a little bit. Not including a summary here because you all know what this fic is by now, and if not, the other chapters are linked above! I hope you enjoy this. I have to thank @royaltyofhockeylosers, @thirteenisles, and my potato anon for always being there whether I have to talk about this fic or my personal life!! I love you all and I absolute would not have gotten through the past week or even posted this fic without you!!!! The ending scene of this chapter (you’ll see) is the first part of this fic I thought of, what I basically wrote the rest of the fic around, and honestly one of my favorite scenes ever.

word count: 3.7k

the playlist :)

Two more weeks and countless games passed before Mat was asking about another date.

You were sitting in class, daydreaming about that night- his arm heavy around your shoulders, pulling you into his side, his scent surrounding you, his hoodie swallowing you, the way his hand was big and warm in yours, the way his pretty hazel eyes softened when he looked down at you, the way your heart leapt when he leaned down, his eyes slipping shut for that first kiss… when your phone vibrated.

Handsome maty: hey babe! i don't have practice tomorrow, you wanna do something? ❤

The heart emoji made your own heart beat fast. So you were at that point of the relationship already, huh?

You'd never know, but Mat was terrified to send that text. He typed it out and deleted it multiple times, running his hands through his hair and closing his texts to call Tito and ask for advice. Was it too early for hearts? Would you be scared and run off? Would he sabotage a great thing just by showing you how much he cared? But in the end he remembered.

“I wanna date you. Like, officially. I want it to be us.”

“I want it to be us too.”

And God, he really did.

You wanted to go out with him again, you really, really did, but there was one thing preventing you from doing that. And that one thing preventing you from seeing him was the same thing that got you together in the first place: the Seidenbergs.

Rebecca had called you that morning, joyous and chatting about a mystery date she was going on and how Dennis surprised her. And while you were as overjoyed for her as always and couldn't wait to see the kids again, it sucked that even though the older man was retired from hockey now, his and Mat's schedules seemed to be clashing. Whenever Mat wanted to take you out, the Seids were going out.

You: maty, I really wish i could. But I have to babysit tonight 😥

❤maty: no problem, I can come help! The kids already know me anyway

You didn't expect him to be angry really, but you at least wanted him to be upset. You were expecting the sting of guilt when he responded with that sad, puppy-dog way of his. But what you weren't expecting was the easy compliance he gave. It took a few moments for you to process his message, you were overthinking. These weren't your kids, would Rebecca be okay with you bringing Mat as your boyfriend? Or would that be inappropriate? Then, Mat sent another message.

❤maty: or if this is your way of trying to turn me down easy or hint you don't want to hang, you can just tell me. I promise I won't be upset, babe. But I'll come help if you want?

And that did it for you.

The fact that he thought you didn’t want to hang out was hurting your heart. Maybe you didn’t kiss him the other night, but you didn’t want him to think you were uninterested. Especially when it was quite the opposite. You couldn’t stop thinking about him if you tried. As you sat through boring lectures in class about things you once paid attention to, you found yourself daydreaming. Of how his lips would feel on yours, how soft, and pink they looked. How they parted slightly as he leaned down, his warm breath fanning over your own...

You wanted to kiss him, you really did, but something held you back. Nothing had ever felt wrong with Mat before, but something just felt so strange. It felt off, and you hated it. Maybe it was the fact that it had been so long since you had a real boyfriend, maybe you were scared you wouldn’t be good at kissing after so long, maybe you were scared of this relationship getting too serious, that after that kiss, you’d be too far in and Mat would get tired of you. Maybe you were scared of heartbreak again. Whatever it was, you panicked and drew away. He took it so well, he was sweet and patient and didn’t judge you for wanting to wait. And it just made you fall even more.

God, what you would do to kiss him now.

You: trust me, i really want to see you tonight. but we need to ask rebecca and dennis first

❤maty: done ✔

Usually, all your worries about guys went out the window when you walked in the door to the Seidenberg’s household. You could forget about boyfriends, drama, work and your studies for the night and focus on the little kids that had strangely become like friends to you. But tonight, your anxiety about boys- a certain boy in particular- was spiking. You were going to be spending the evening with Mat. You couldn’t help the way your heart was pounding as you tried to compose yourself in the bathroom before the Seidenburgs left on their date. It wasn’t going to be a long night, the sun was already going down, so you’d probably just put on a movie and then take the kids to bed. You smiled at yourself in the mirror as your mind drifted back to the night of your almost-kiss and how patient and gentle and ready Mat was.

“(Y/N), someone’s here for you!” You heard Rebecca call from the front door. You quickly brushed some flyaway hairs back and took a few breaths to steady yourself.

Mat.

“Yeah, I have a feeling I already know who it is!” You called back with a smile in your voice, opening the bathroom door and making your way to the kitchen. Rebecca and Dennis were standing there, ready to leave and, both smiling like they knew something you didn’t, the door was only cracked slightly and Mat hadn’t yet come inside. Before you could even ask why he was still out in the cold, your matchmaker motioned towards the door.

“He’s waiting.”

You could barely even open the door the whole way before your lips fell open in a little surprised O. "Mat."

"Hey there, babe." There he stood on the doorstep, looking absolutely warm and cozy in all sweats and a hoodie, in those signature white shoes he'd been sporting on every date so far. The cold November wind tossed his hair around and a bright flush painted his cheeks in happiness as he held a bouquet of bright flowers out in front of him. When he saw you trying our best to contain your smile, his face split into a huge grin. And when he smiled, your heart almost leaped out of your chest. "You have no idea how hard it was to find these so late in the year."

"Oh my God, Maty."

"I hope this isn’t too cheesy, but I figured, if we're gonna be together all night, we might as well make it a date, right?"

Your heart fluttered, you wanted to pull him close, kiss him right there, but it wasn't the right time, especially not with the Seidenburgs standing right behind you in the kitchen. You reached out, grabbed his hand, and grinned. "Get in here, you big goof. You’re gonna get a cold."

The Siedenbergs were giving their goodbye kisses to the children when you stepped inside with Mat. And as they left, Rebecca winked at you and glanced back towards Mat, who was chatting with Dennis and beautifully oblivious to your cheeky silent conversation and busying himself with the kids. The second he stepped in the doorway, it seemed, the kids were all over him. "Maty!" They must have missed having him around.

It was obvious they missed having him around, as they were jumping around his legs and rambling about things they’d been up to lately the second they could get to him. And Mat listened intently and with the softest smile, and it was obvious he really loved them too.

The youngest children were talking about their day at school when you took the bouquet of flowers out of Mat’s arms, and suddenly they seemed interested. ‘

“You got flowers?"

"Yeah! Aren’t they pretty? They're from Mat." And suddenly the house burst into little "oooooh"s. Ah, children.

"You got (y/n) flowers??? Do you liiiike her?"

"I do like her." Mat’s eyes found yours and smiled, a hopeful, almost unsure smile as if he was really urging you to feel the same. You weren’t about to go on about your still young relationship in front of children, so you just smiled back.

"Are you best friends?"

"No, more than that."

“Ewww-”

“Alright,” You cut them off, just wanting to stay off the topic of feelings, romance, and relationships. This used to be the place you went to forget about those things, but you couldn’t do that with Mat here. Not that you were upset, you loved having him here, but there was something about talking about your relationship that still made you a little uneasy. And you hated feeling uneasy about him. "Do we have any homework to finish tonight?”

Something twisted in your heart while you watched Mat sit at the kitchen counter and help the kids with their homework. There was something so domestic and warm about these situations that it almost made you nervous. Was it way too early in the relationship to be imagining these things with him? It was so soon, everything was happening so fast, that it scared you. You didn’t want to love again, you didn’t want to hurt again, but everything about Mat made you want to risk it all.

That feeling struck you again as you stood in the kitchen, washing their dishes and watching Mat reading at the table with their little boy as the girls colored. Mat was helping him along softly here and there and giving him a little high five at the end of each page, and even though you absolutely did not want children any time soon- you could barely afford to get by yourself- there's just something about a man that's good with kids. And Mat was great with them, probably because he acted like a kid himself and already knew them well.

"Can we have ice cream?" Mat glanced up at you in amusement to gauge your reaction to the bold statement of the youngest girl.

"Ah, I don't know how your parents would feel about that."

“Pleeeeease!”

“Ice cream, ice cream, please!”

“I think the general consensus is that we all want ice cream.” Mat grinned a stupid little shit-eating grin and the children nodded along with him. “C'mon, Y/N. Don't be a party pooper." You almost couldn’t believe that Mat was gonna betray you like this, but it seemed so like him. Taking risks, living, having fun.

"You're such a child, Mat."

He looked up for a moment with wide, worried eyes, as if really worried you were upset with him, but the smile on your face must have given it away, because he smiled back proudly. "Yeah, I am."

"Alright,” You smiled at the looks of glee around the table, from all three of the kids and even Mat. “We’ll have ice cream, but don't tell your parents." The kids cheered thanks at you and Mat, who was still grinning widely up at you from the table. You couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, but when he stood from where he was to take the ice cream out of the freezer and his arm curled around your waist for a second while the kids weren’t watching, you were so flustered you had to look away with a smile. He made you feel so tingly and warm. “So, what movie are we watching tonight?”

A few hours later, you were sitting on the couch with Mat, battling through your second run of The Little Mermaid while the kids watched and colored and got drowsy.

You and Mat had stretched out under a thick, fluffy blanket, your legs on the sectional and his propped up on the coffee table, which he insisted was okay because he "used to do it all the time". Your head was resting against his bicep, and the moment his arm curled its way around your shoulders, your breath hitched in your throat. And he must have noticed because he glanced down at you with that same gentle question as the other night when he tried to kiss you.

Too much? Too soon?

It might have been too much, you might have panicked a little, but if you were learning anything recently, it was that you needed to take a risk and stop being so scared to get hurt. So you curled further against him, bringing a leg up to bend across his lap and winding your arms around his waist. His hand fell heavily onto your knee, rubbing it and pulling you closer in under the blanket, and his lips quirked up a little at the ends. This was warm, gentle, soft, perfect. Everything around was drowned out, save for the noise of both of your beating hearts pounding against each other, and he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with pink cheeks.

“Hey there.” His breath fanned across your lips, smelling of the sweet ice cream you’d all been snacking on earlier.

“Hi.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when his hand cupped your cheek, your heart sped up and your cheeks went hot as he furrowed his brows as if considering something.

Please just do it...

🎶"Sha-la-la-la-la-la

My, oh my

Looks like the boy's too shy

Ain't gonna kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la

Ain't that sad

It's such a shame, too bad

You're gonna miss the girl"🎶

“(Y/NNNNN).” You snapped up at the sound of your name to see the little boy yawning and rubbing his eyes. Mat swallowed thickly, turning away and refocusing on the movie in front of him, as if he’d even been watching in the first place. “I’m sleepy.”

“Yeah?” You untangled yourself from Mat and stood from your cocoon of comfort under the blanket, despite wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms all night. “Alright, Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”

When you returned to the living room after helping the kids through their nightly routine and tucking them into bed, you found Mat turning off the TV and gathering up the coloring books and dishes to put away. You locked eyes with him, feeling absolutely flustered and wanting to cuddle him. He looked back at you, chewing on his bottom lip as if he had something to say, but he kept silent. It was quiet, but not tense, as you moved around the kitchen. Putting things away and cleaning up and smiling as you bumped into each other. He seemed to open his mouth for a moment, considering his words, but he said nothing, and you couldn't even get the chance to ask him if the two of you could crawl back under the blankets before the front door opened and in walked the Seidenbergs.

Dennis and Rebecca thanked you over and over again, quietly, as the kids were asleep. “I hope Mat behaved himself too.”

“It was like having a fourth kid to look after.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad.” He smiled at you across the table, a little secret in his eyes, hinting to the moment on the couch where you’d almost… almost kissed. No one had to know about that. Not yet.

The moment you offered to get an Uber and head home, Mat spoke up softly, grabbing your attention before you could leave. “Hey, my place isn’t too far from here. Let’s go on a walk. We can call you an uber from there?” He spoke almost shyly, giving you a tiny smile, his head cocked to the side and his eyes sparkling with glee, tilting his eyebrow up in question. You only nodded at him, smiling back with matched enthusiasm, and headed out the front door, hand in hand, with the Seidenburgs smiling fondly after you.

Outside, flurries had started coming down, a light dusting of snow beginning to lay in the patches of grass beside you. It was frigid, and even Mat’s hoodie and your own jacket didn’t seem to do much work to protect you. But being pressed against his warm body, your hand in his was so worth it. “Maty, it’s snowing!”

He chuckled at the childlike enthusiasm of your words. “Yeah.”

He watched you with awe as you gazed around at how the snowflakes sparkled in the streetlights. “You know,” you began, squeezing his hand and pulling him back to reality, “I love the snow. I love winter. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. As a kid, you would go to bed one night and wake up the next morning with inches of snow on the ground, without ever realizing anything happened. It happens so quietly, so serenely, so softly, without anyone realizing. It’s a surprise. I love that.”

“Yeah?”

“All the best things happen softly.” There was a moment of silence as the words settled peacefully between you, and Mat pondered your words. “No, that probably sounds dumb.”

“No, that’s beautiful. You could be a poet.” All the best things happen softly. He agreed. Like the way he was falling more and more for you every day, like falling onto a bed of down and soft pillows, like falling into a lover’s waiting arms after a long day, like the warmest embrace of tangled limbs and tickly hair in your face. Like falling in love. “Plus, being cold means cuddling. Like tonight.” He nudged your side teasingly and squeezed you against him. “I liked that.”

“I liked that too.”

“Sorry we couldn’t do something else tonight. I usually don’t make my boyfriends babysit with me so early in the relationship.”

“No problem.” He smiled and tugged you closer into his side. “I love hanging out with those kids. And there’s no place I’d rather be than with you, babe.”

Your face got hot at the pet name. You’d never get used to someone calling you that. It’d been so long. “You’ve gotta be careful calling me babe. I might just fall for you.”

“Huh.” It was barely a whisper, but you heard every word. “Maybe that’s the goal.”

You walked in silence once again, a comfortable, gentle silence, with only the sound of leaves crunching under your shoes and rustling in the breeze, until Mat came to a stop in front of a tall building.

"So, this is my place."

"Yeah?"

"So I should probably call you that Uber…"

"Probably." But Mat made no effort to pull out his phone, his hand stayed still, laced through yours.

The air between your bodies was heavy, not with tension, not with dread, but something much, much softer. Something needy and aching, something that made your cheeks heat up and your hearts beat faster, as you took in the sight of each other. Maybe it was still the idea of being in a relationship again that had you both so flustered, had you both weak in the knees. Maybe you just couldn’t believe you had someone like this. You reached up absentmindedly to tuck a stray lock of Mat’s hair behind his ear, to shake away some of the flurries, giggling softly with him as his hand bumped into yours while reaching up to do the same to you.

“Hey there.”

Mat let out a warm puff of air, a soft sigh, his eyes melting into warm, honey-like pools as he gazed down to you, “Hey.”

“It’s chilly.” You began, but your words were cut off. Cut off by the feeling of a warm palm against your cheek, tilting your head up to meet a pair of lips in a gentle touch. It wasn’t a kiss, not yet, but rather a question. A murmur of hope and a suggestion, a gentle urging to follow him, to dip your toe in and try out the waters, maybe swim with him. And as he began to back up, having asked his question and letting you free to ponder it, your hand unlaced from his and you stretched up on your tiptoes to grasp his cheek. Your hands were small and soft against his cheeks, the tips of your fingers tracing his pretty cheekbones and cupping his jawline and tugging him closer to you, sliding back to the black hair at the back of his neck. A perfect fit. Like yin and yang.

He sighed out against your mouth as you sunk into him, his own lips curling up in a smile as his hands came up to cup you against him in this gentle embrace. Cradling the back of your neck, his fingers chilly and making you shiver as they dipped under your hair.

And when you finally broke apart from what felt like an eternal embrace that had no boundaries, Mat leaned his forehead down against yours, his eyes gentle and sleepy and warm as he gazed into you, and wow, he was so beautiful. He was breathing softly against your lips, as if the kiss had knocked the air from his lungs with its power, no matter how delicate and precious, and each warm puff of air he sighed against your lips made you smile.

“I- uhh,” He laughed sheepishly, reaching his hand up to thread through his hair- a nervous habit you’d realized a while ago. “I kinda forgot to ask if I earned that kiss yet.”

It was your turn to laugh now, sinking back down to your flat feet and leaning up to press a kiss onto his chin. “You did.”

He laughed at your little peck to his chin and pulled you into an embrace, entwining your bodies together and sharing your warmth, not caring who might be able to see you. There it was, he had his kiss. It was better than he'd ever had, better than he could've ever hoped for and better than he ever imagined. And it was with you. Your fingers were combing through his hair, and it was making him sleepy, and he wanted nothing more than to have someone to sleep next to tonight, to watch the snow fall outside his bedroom window from where they lay together in the comfort of his sheets. He wanted the comfort, the coziness, the peace, the softness. And he wanted it with you.

"Well, I hate to ruin the moment," you started, turning to look up at him "But you should probably call that uber soon. Before I freeze to death out here."

"Mhm."

But Mat did nothing, he stayed where he was, gazing down at you and glancing up at his apartment, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Hey, Mat? Whatcha thinking?" He looked down at you again as you continued to thread your fingers through his dark locks, seeming to have made up his mind about something. With a sigh and a smile, he held your hips and pulled you against him, leaned down, ghosting his lips against yours once more and making your heart pound at the sound of his whisper:

"Stay the night?"

[popatochisssp]

So... quarantine and everything else has been messing with my headspace a little, plus I’ve been a little busier with work and life stuff than the usual, so I haven’t been entirely in the right place to be creative lately. I’m taking my time and not stressing about it or anything, and I have no plans to go on any kind of extended hiatus (so no worries there!), but I have wanted to share something with you guys lately, so...

I threw together some playlists! Just some songs that make me think of certain skeletons, whether it’s the lyrics, the genre, or just the General Vibe-- and to make it interesting, I’m only going to allow myself to make excuses for one song on each list and the rest, I’ll just have to let you judge me for. XD

Note: A few of the songs on these lists have some suggestive language and the occasional curse word for those that need a warning for that sort of thing-- and in fact, feel free to tell me if I included a censored version of any songs on accident, I’ll try to fix that ASAP--but hopefully nothing too shocking or explicit.

Sans (Undertale): I don’t even feel like I need to defend myself for it but, All Star by Smash Mouth? You really think that’s not a Sans Undertale song? C’mon.

Papyrus (Undertale): Spaghetti Cat by Parry Gripp... I... I have no excuse, I just think he would be supportive of a cat who wanted to eat spaghetti.

Sky (Underswap Sans): Sexy Bitch by Akon is only on there in the context that he’s the sexy bitch, he drinks far too much Respect Women juice to ever call a lady that, just for the record! 😤

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): The Bus is Late by Satellite High, yes I was into Welcome to Night Vale for awhile, yes it’s a good song, no I will not accept any criticism on this point.

Jasper (Underfell Sans): I cannot even begin to articulate why Full Moon by Sunmi reads as his vibe/sound to me, it just does and I have made the mental association, it is too late to unmake it.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Interlude IV by Zach Callison... He has the range, that’s all I can say.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Dark Horse by Katy Perry. Listen, he’s my boy, I know what he’s about, it’s a valid choice and I stick by it!

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): I actually don’t feel like there’s anything I need to make an excuse for on this one, so I’ll just bump Crystalline by The Midnight, it’s a great song lol

Slate (Horrortale Sans): The Other Side of Paradise by Glass Animals is also almost 100% on there for the vibe/sound, but that vibe/sound is just right so on it stays.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): I first heard Always by Erasure in the context of that Robot Unicorn Attack game, if anybody remembers that; as if half of my song choices in these aren’t already showing my age lmao

Ash (Undergloom Sans): The Call Me Maybe cover by Ben Howard is good, actually, it’s a legit jam and I’m not sorry for it.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): The Great Pretender by the Jon Frederik Band... yes, it (and a few of Classic Papyrus’ songs) came from a Yugioh soundtrack, we don’t need to talk about that, it’s fine.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Gingerbread Man by Melanie Martinez doesn’t 100% fit his vibe, but it’s another one I’ve made a mental association with and it’s not going away, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Guren (Hip Hop Remix) by Dirty Kid... I swear I’m only a little bit of a weeb, I never finished Naruto, call it an homage to HF!Undyne! 😂

-

So there’s that! I’d love to say I’m accepting new song recommendations for these playlists, but as you can see, the song-count on each is already at 69, so I can’t mess that up, you understand.

I hope you guys find some new music to bop to on one of these lists, or some old favorites you haven’t listened to in awhile! :3

[nanasarea]

V

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵: In a world where soulmates can visit each other in their dreams and can only remember the dreams once they found each other, what happens when you’re disappointed at the man of your dreams?

𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: angst and fluff 

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: reader x jaemin

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 1.5k

𝘢/𝘯: what is meant to be is meant to be, guys 🤷‍♀️

𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵  𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵  𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

Tag list: @keiboo​ @minavenue

I  II  III  IV  V  VI

“I really like your earrings by the way.” Jeno commented, leaning in to see them better, but I just brushed my hair in front of my ear and said thanks, but I’m insecure about my ears in hopes of hiding the mark from him.

“Oh, where was I, um, yeah my friends wanted some group costumes, but in the end, Jisung decided to go as Sponge-bob with his cousin as Patrick, Haechan decided to be someone from his favourite video game and Renjun is currently choosing between like 45 costumes, so in short, we were gonna go as a group costume, I even bought the costume, but I guess I’ll just wear that next time.” I laughed, regretting the amount of money I spent on it, but also not caring too much, as I did really like it and was 100% going to wear it casually at home.

“So, I have no idea what I’m going as. And you?” I asked, taking a sip from my coffee and waiting for him to respond.

“I don’t know for sure yet, possibly Ash? My friends’ thought of going as Brock and Misty so I might be Ash, but I was also thinking of going as Luke Skywalker.” He answered. “But I’ll let you in on a secret, I’m kinda leaning towards being Ash.” He leaned in and whispered, winking at the end of his sentence and taking a long sip from his coffee before leaning back onto the seat.

“And you just let me know that?” I asked, dramatically gasping, to which he just winked again, causing my face to heat up.

Was I just kidding myself by indirectly flirting with Jeno, the guy I wished was my soulmate, when I in fact knew who my soulmate was? Maybe, but in my defence, I was still in denial, besides, some harmless flirting won’t hurt anyone, right? And before you say anything, no, it won’t hurt me, I know when not to catch feelings.

“I think a Pokemon costume would fit you well, possibly because I think they’re cute and you’re  cute, y’know?” He asked, smiling at me as I hid my smile behind my cup.

Okay, maybe I don’t know when not to catch feelings.

Once my so-called date with Jeno ended, I headed back to the dorms to get my things before heading to class. At the dorm, I was greeted by Renjun searching for something. “What you looking for?” I asked, hoping to help.

“My will to live.” he replied, turning around, smiling and adding “Nevermind, found it”, which made me put a hand on my chest in awe while mouthing “me?”. He nodded and continued searching.

“No, seriously, what are you looking for?” I asked, collecting my stuff and stuffing them into my bag, when suddenly I heard a scream.

“Who’s getting murdered?” Haechan asked, rushing into the room with worry. “My ears.” I said, holding my hands over them lightly. “My heart.” Renjun explained, turning around and showing us what he was looking for.

“Look! I found my 50 shades of grey costume that I made last halloween!” He yelled in excitement, causing both me and Haechan to let out a sigh of relief, followed by a laugh. “Don’t scare me like that!” Haechan yelled, throwing a pillow at Renjun.

“Anyway, ready to head to the lecture hall?” Haechan asked. Renjun and I both nodded as he put the costume on his bed and quickly took his bag before wrapping one hand on each of mine and Haechan’s shoulders and guiding us out of the room.

“Oh, how did your “date” with Jeno go?” Haechan asked, pulling air quotes around date, making me playfully hit his shoulder and unwillingly smile.

“Nice, we talked about the party and what we’re going as. He’s going as Ash and he kinda hinted that he wants me to be Pikachu, but I could just be reading way too much into it, y’know?” I explained as we walked to the halls. “and he wore this really nice outfit. He had beige pants and a white dress shirt-“ “Already cute” “-right? And he also had black suspenders and a beige jacket.” I explained, basically fawning over him.

“Too bad he isn’t your soulmate.” Haechan said, making me shut up and look at the pavement. “Did you have to remind them?” Renjun asked, playfully hitting Haechan’s shoulder. “Sorry.” he quickly apologised.

“It’s fine, I know I shouldn’t be getting involved with him, but he’s just so-“ “Jeno?” Renjun asked, cutting me off. I nodded, sighing and pouting.

“He does seem perfect for you.” Renjun commented “I wish he was.” I pouted. “Hey now, as long as you both know it’s a meaningless relationship and not to get too involved, there’s no reason you can’t have a little fun!” He pointed out, making me chuckle. I wish it was that easy.

“Why can’t you just reassign your soulmate?”

Back at the dorms, Jaemin however was lying on the ground, his headphones blasting his shuffled playlist and staring at the ceiling and asking himself the same question, why can’t you just reassign your soulmate.

“Are you still hung up on what yn said?” Chenle asked, getting tired of seeing Jaemin dramatically lip-syncing, or lip-screaming in his case, all of the songs.

“Of course I am.” Jaemin sighed, stopping the music and sitting up. “Lemme guess, you want everyone to disappear?” Chenle asked. “No, you and Mark can stay….my dog can visit on the weekends, but that’s it.” Jaemin answered.  “What’s wrong with me?” He added, looking at his friend and pouting.

“You want me to get the list? nice.” Chenle said, nodding proudly at his joke. “Did you just “Nice” your own joke?” Jaemin asked, chuckling. “You would too, if you could do jokes. Nice.” And to that, Jaemin just rolled his eyes and stood up.

“If you were anyone else, I would have slapped you for that. You’re lucky I love you.” Jaemin scuffed, taking a sip from his water bottle and leaning against his desk.

“I know.” “You’re suppose to say it back, idiot.” “It back, idiot.” Chenle smiled proudly and waited for Jaemin’s response, which was just another eye-roll.

“Morning, fellow idiots.” Jisung announced before sitting next to Haechan and across from me. “You do realise you just called yourself an idiot, right?” Haechan asked, chuckling. “He’s very aware at his stupidity.” I reminded.

Once we all finished with our classes, we decided to meet up with Jisung at a cafe to catch up, as we haven’t seen each other properly since school started.

“What happened to you all when I was gone? Tell me the tea, the report, spare no detail.” Jisung said and dug into the cheesecake we ordered for him while waiting for his bus to get here.

“Well, I decided I’m going as 50 shades of grey to the party I was telling you about, Haechan tried frying eggs in a microwave and broke it-“ “I’m offended you’d ever even think it was me who did that.” “So it wasn’t you?” Renjun looked at Haechan in surprise. “No, it was me, but I’m still offended.” Haechan commented and drank her hot chocolate.

“And Yn met their soulmate, hates him and is in denial, so they’re using a guy they met as a way to distract themselves from their true destiny.” Renjun added before taking a bite out of his cookie. “They what now?” Jisung asked, excitedly, but almost choking on his cheesecake.

“Can we not talk about that?” I asked, avoiding eye contact and eating my carrot cake. “No, we’re talking about this! This is major!” He explained, wide eyed. He leaned closer to me and added “Tell me everything.” And so I did.

“I don’t know, maybe my brain thinks that if I spend so much time with Jeno, then I’ll eventually get tired of him or see some flaws and it’ll make me more open to Jaemin-“ “Bullshit, but proceed.” “-or maybe I’m simply just fooling myself, but I don’t care, I like Jeno and he likes me, so sue me for wanting to be with someone who actually has some manners.” I looked at Renjun, knowing that his pointing out my bullshit was correct.

“I don’t know, maybe you pushing Jaemin away will only make the part where you finally break and make out so much more enjoyable.” Jisung said, causing us all to look at him with confused looks on our faces. “What? I’m a glass half full person.” He defended and took another bite of his cheesecake.

“I think you’re full of shit” Renjun said “They shouldn’t be pushing their soulmate away in the first place.” he added. “That is true, but can you blame them? Isn’t the whole mutual pinning and sexual tension just going to make things more exciting?” Jisung asked, making me roll my eyes.

“Sung, there is no sexual tension between us, there is no mutual pinning, there is just annoyance.” I said “Not yet.” He commented, winking, making me lightly hit his arm. You’re standing on thin ice.” I warned. “No, I’m sitting and my legs are on the floor” He joked, taking a sip from his tea. “It’s an expression” I laughed “It’s a carpet” he mocked.

[clumsyclifford]

just finished writing this and realized how long it got oh jeez i am so sorry. i promise it is just me rambling about nothing and does not require a lot of thought.

i made a playlist of r5's entire discography and am listening to it (in order) because there is something wrong with me. if only it had their very first ever ep on it (ready set rock ep you may have been slight garbage but i don't love you any less for it). oh god i realized i fucked up and didn't add the songs by "ross lynch and r5" from the austin & ally soundtrack. i'm already three songs into louder and they would have been between louder and say you'll stay. what do i have to do is actually one of r5's best songs and i'm pretty sure i remember ross calling it one of his favs fairly recently?? which was so valid of him. anyways. this is now an r5 song ranking. i'm bored and avoiding doing assignments. i'm going to name my top 10 r5 songs off the top of my head. source: me trying to remember every song they've ever released.

no. 1: easy love. nothing comes close. my fav song they ever made. they haven't made anything that even compares since (this is /hj. tde has some valid songs).

no. 2: wishing i was 23. what do you mean i only love this song because of my nostalgia bias no i don't.

no. 3: what do i have to do? i will not elaborate i do not know why i adore this song as much as i do it's just a cute song.

no. 4: repeating days. THE END. THE FUCKING END AFTER THE SONG ENDS THE "all i've got is cheap wine" PART ross sounds so vulnerable and him with just the guitar makes me so :(((((( it's so gorgeous that part makes the whole song and that makes it top 3 for me.

no. 5: i want u bad. THAT SONG FUCKS LIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE IT LIVE AGAIN. (speaking of concerts i can't believe you bought concert tix and fucking forgot??? that is actually so fucking funny bella it made me laugh i will not lie)

no. 6: dark side. so so valid of them. it just fucks. it's so good. it makes u want to dance. u named a fic after a lyric from it which was so valid.

no. 7: did you have your fun? i love this song. no i will not elaborate. it is a sexy song. what's that one lyric from it that's hot. "love me, leave me, left me numb" some lyrics you love for no particular reason and for me that's one of those lyrics.

no. 8: f.e.e.l.g.o.o.d. this has alwayysss been one of my favs by them. since it dropped. some lore about it: the like crowd yelling that's in it they recorded live at a festival they played and i remember there being hype about this being an unreleased song when they had the crowd chanting "f-e-e-l-g-o-o-d" with no explanation. also another fun fact is that the final version of this is just a demo?? source: my slightly faulty memory remembering ross saying something about some demos being so good that you keep them as they are and it later being revealed this was the song he was talking about.

no. 9: i know you got away. sexy song. they released a vocals only version of it (that has apparently since been deleted?? i went to look for it on youtube and couldn't find it?? wtf r5) that has stuck with me ever since.

no. 10: loud. but more specifically the acoustic or live version. this was their encore song that they played to end every show. i MISS IT. it holds a special place in my heart.

honorable mentions: hurts good (a good song and THEIR LAST THEY EVER RELEASED VV SAD), wild hearts (fun fact almost picked a lyric from this song as my senior quote till i found out they didn't write this song), fallin' for you (YOU LIKE MISMATCHED SOCKS WITH POLKA DOTS YOU LIKE YOUR PIZZA COLD I THINK THATS HOT i never saw this song live and i'm still fucking pissed about it ok), do it again (it's such a sweet song :(((( "listen to the airplanes as we count the stars" gives me the same vibes as six feet under the stars), things are looking up (generally just a cute song!! this whole ep is just very good and very cute!! when i saw it live one time during the bridge ross was like "everyone shut up this is my favorite part >:(" and that was so valid of him) i can't say i'm in love (it's just a fun song!! it was a bonus track on sln from another country), trading time (this is the only song from the new addictions ep that i listed and u know what i'm Not sorry)

ok. i will spare you and stop rambling. other honorable mentions: if you have never listened to cool girl (feat. the driver era) by new beat fund i highly recommend. it's an okay song but it was one of the first songs released after they rebranded as tde and includes ross saying motherfucker with his whole chest. i will never again feel what i felt the first time i heard that song having listened exclusively to them as r5 whose songs they couldn't curse in because they were on a disney label.

in conclusion. i miss r5. ross saying fuck is kinda hot. i listened to the entirety of louder while writing this. i am sorry to dump this in your askbox. i still have multiple assignments to do and should probably go to sleep at a decent time. it feels fitting to finally stop writing while easy love is on. when i was 12 and this ep came out i thought "dirtbags" was a curse word and was scared to sing it. they changed it to "douchebags" live.

that's all. goodbye. have a lovely night. listen to r5's discography for clear skin thriving crops etc etc. sorry to lovepost about them in your askbox i only have (1) former r5 mutual that i still talk to (a very interesting but long story. she's the gemini bestie) and she will only lovepost about r5 once in a while. feel free to ignore my ask calling cody bellinger hot i was a different person when i wrote it i am now a changed woman. LOVE YOU MWAH - bella but she misses r5

hi hi im going to answer this with minimal thought because im tired but i dont wanna leave this sitting in my inbox forever but for the record all your r5 opinions are valid. ok lets go

1. easy love slaps ive heard it a couple times over the last few days (it played in the car today while i was driving sam n meghna to the airport) and it does fuck i can see why it's your fave

2. i do not know this song

3. A BOP A WHOLE FUCKIN BOP

4. oh i do love repeating days great choice i would have to hear it a few more times to get it in my head but i remember really liking it when i listened to the album it's on

5. also a banger and i'm glad my concert tickets situation made you laugh it made me laugh too imagine being this useless gldskfjgs

6. DARK SIDE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS GIVE IN TO YOUR DARK SIDE YOUR DARK SIDE IIIIIIIII SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT MEEEEE

7. ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER this one is probably among my favorite r5 songs maybe top 5 LOVE ME LEAVE ME LEFT ME NUMB (guitar moment) DID YOU HAVE YOUR FUUUuuuuUUUUUNNNNN i feel the same way about this lyric as you

8. oh shit thats pretty cool i dont know this song tbh i cant remember how it goes i know ive heard it once or twice but. id have to listen to it again so i will keep you posted on that

9. i do not know this one either

10. interesting choice for top ten but i support you, this song fucks and ever since you mentioned it it's been in my subconscious and randomly getting stuck in my head i think i need to listen to it to get it out. it does hit ur right

11. i don't know hurts good or wild hearts or things are looking up or i can't say i'm in love or trading time well enough to say anything about them. but i really like fallin for you it's one of those cheap fun songs but emphasis on fun, and also really like do it again one day ill write a fic based on that song

i have not listened to cool girl i put it on my to listen playlist so hopefully i remember to listen to it soon ill be honest though i dont think im prepared for ross lynch saying motherfucker w his whole chest like i think itll take me out. so. anyway. i hope you got your assignments done. thank you for the r5 lovedump feel free to drop in anytime with more

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[quackeroos]

ONE WEEK || Day One

Pairing: tom holland x dying ex!reader

Summary: you were dying, and tom still loves you. now he plans on loving you ‘til your last breath, and maybe get you to say those three words back to him. 

Warnings: swearing, angst

Words: 1.9k

General Masterlist | Series Masterlist

TOM TOOK A SIP from his morning tea. His Spotify playlist playing in the background while he patiently waits for his toast. Because the moment his phone rang with a familiar name on the screen, his heart dropped. It couldn't be. Tom took off his glasses and wiped the lenses with his shirt. He was seeing it perfectly clear. Her name and picture lit up his screen. After all these years, why is she calling now? Tom was pulled back from his thoughts when his toaster popped. His hand quickly caught his phone before the final ring, and he answered immediately.

He lets out a shaky breath, "Hello?"

"Hello, Tom?" he lets out a sigh of relief. Relaxed. "It's Jamie."

"Oh, Jamie! How are you? And why are you calling by the way? With um-your sister's phone?" The other end of the line was silent for a moment. He could hear faint sobs coming from the teenager.

"Jamie? Are you alright? What happened?"

"T-tom... It's Y/n."

At the mention of her name, he became uneasy again. It's been so long since he heard that name. Too long. But when he heard her name with Jamie's worried tone, he knew. Something was wrong.

Tom got off his car and ran straight through the building. He didn't mind asking which room she was checked in; Jamie had already filled him in with the details. It was a stupid idea, going to a hospital and visiting your bedridden ex-girlfriend. But despite that thought, all Tom knew, that he had to see her again.

He stood outside the door. Room 243, written on the plaque. And just underneath it, was her name. He felt anxious, worried and excited all at the same time, and it was like a whirlwind hitting him. Tom lets out one last breath before knocking on the wooden door and opening it. He entered cautiously and closes the door slowly.

The room was white and a bit dim, with only little light coming from the windows and lamp. It smelled of disinfectant and coffee, yet the room was clean. At the other side, Jamie was binge watching on her laptop, with her earphones in her ears, she didn't notice Tom come in only until he showed himself.

She quickly stood up and walked towards the man, embracing him in a tight hug while staining his shirt with her leftover tears. Tom could tell Jamie hadn't slept all night and that she had been crying for hours. Her stained sweater and red eyes with bags under it screamed everything she was feeling right now. "I'm so glad you came, Tom. I'm sorry if I called you in a bad time." Jamie sniffed.

"No, don't be sorry. It's fine."

"I-it's just, I didn't know what to do and I don't know who to c-call. My finals are coming up and I have to watch-" before she could even finish her sentence, she cried again. Tom watched her let out her frustration before embracing her back into a hug. Jamie was the girl whom he had considered his sister, and seeing her break down like this, it was an unlikely scene Tom never imagined would happen.

The once happy-go-lucky twenty-year-old he knew had reached the lowest point of her life. He engulfed her into a tight hug, caressing her back for comfort. "Hey, I'm glad you called me for help. And don't worry, y/n will get through this." Jamie pulled back and sniffed, nodding in the process. "Do you want to come inside? She's sleeping, but I think she'll wake up at any moment."

Without a second thought, Tom accepted and walked beyond the pillared wall, the only thing separating y/n's bed from tiny living room. The moment he saw her lying on the bed, his heart sunk. An IV bag hung from the pole beside her bed, connecting it to the top of her hand, a needle sinking in through her veins. She looked so peaceful, and the thought of her being bedridden made him even more anxious. Y/n's soft snores were the only thing that could be heard within the four walls, and Tom smiled sadly, reminiscing the times she would sleep in his bed, cuddled up next to him. He missed it. Everything he had with her, he missed it.

"Friedreich's ataxia." Tom looked up at Jamie.

"It's a genetic disease that causes her difficulty in walking. A loss of sensation in the arms and legs and impaired speech. It worsens over time; I heard the doctors say." Her sister walks towards her bed and sits on the edge, careful not to wake her up.

"She was diagnosed with it three years ago, it only so happened that the disease kicked in." Three years ago. That was the year they had broken up. Tom didn't know the reason why, and it broke him on that day. And now that he knows, guilt washed over him. He felt guilty that he didn't noticed she had this, and that he didn't asked her to explain why she wanted to call it off. What kind of boyfriend was he?

If only he knew, then he would've taken care of her and helped her all this time. It was a heavy toll for Tom to carry on his shoulders, and the guilt was pinning him down. "Tom, I know y/n doesn't want you to be here, but you're the only person I could trust to watch her while I'm gone."

"What about your parents?"

"Mum and Dad were out on a business trip. I already called them about the situation. Hopefully they'll arrive here tomorrow."

***

Y/n heard voices talking quietly in her room. The room was cold, too cold for y/n's liking. And it didn't help, not one bit, that her disease was getting the best of her. She felt like shit. She sat up straight and lets out a yawn. Her eyes opened slowly and looked around the room. "Jamie, could you-" she stopped midway, when her eyes landed on a certain brunette-haired actor, she rubbed her eyes before looking at him again. “I must be dreaming again." y/n had mumbled quietly, but it was loud enough for Tom to hear.

Again. She had a dream about him more than one time. He had smiled without even knowing. Tom felt nostalgic, and every memory of her kept surfacing back from the moment she spoke.

"Good morning, y/n." She froze. Her brain was processing everything, and it was odd. Because usually, Tom didn't talk in her dreams. Because for the past few nights, in her dreams, she saw him crying. Y/n didn't know what it meant but it has been bothering her. She looked at the man suspiciously before leaning towards the side of her bed, eyeing him closely. Tom had also leaned in, and once the two were close enough, y/n touched his face before gasping and pulling back her hand. "Y-you're real? You're here?!"

"I-uh I came-"

"That doesn't matter. Tom, get the hell out." She pointed towards the door. Tom felt his heart clench. It was like before, she told him to stay away from her and he listened. But he wasn't going to do that same mistake again. "No. I'm staying, y/n." So, he stood his ground. Y/n glared at him; it was as if she loathed him even after they broke up. But deep inside, Tom could see her eyes soften from time to time. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from me?" She spat.

"I know. But I'm not going anywhere, not this time."

"And why is that?"

"You're sick, y/n. And Jamie has finals. I'm not letting you stay here on your own."

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And besides, Mom and Dad will be coming home tomorrow so there's no need for you to be here."

Jamie watched the two converse from the side. As much as she wanted to interfere, she didn't. The younger sister knew better, she knew that it was time for them to finally talk things out. So she walked out of the room silently and went out to buy breakfast for her and Tom.

Tom lets out a frustrated sigh and brushed his fingers through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me about this before, y/n? Why won't you just let me help you?" She was taken aback/n tried to find the words, but she couldn't tell him. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Three years ago. The night we were strolling around the park, you suddenly broke up with me and didn't tell me why. Earlier, Jamie told me you were diagnosed with a disease, also three years ago. Was that the reason, y/n?"

"Don't be daft. I had other reasons, Tom." She avoided the question. Tom knew, her eyes were looking away from his and she was fiddling with her blanket. It was a habit she often does when she was either lying or if she was hiding something. He knew her all too well. After all, after being in a relationship with her for almost seven years, it was hard to forget about her and the little things she does "I'm not stupid, y/n. Why won't you just tell me? Because I still have no fucking clue why you suddenly left me in the air. I deserve and explanation y/n!"

"I don't have to tell you anything Tom! Now would you please," her voice cracked. "Just leave me alone and forget about me."

"I can't! Because for some reason, I just can't seem to let go of what happened that night! I loved you, okay? God, I fucking loved you y/n! Don't you know how hard it was for me to move on with my life for three years? If it was something I did wrong in the past, then I'm sorry! Just tell me why-"

"I was supposed to die, okay!" she bursts out.

Tears streamed out of y/n's eyes and the droplets fell on the white covers of her bed. Tom was silent, heaving out heavily after his sudden outburst earlier. "The doctors said I only had three years to live, possibly even less than that. I didn't knew how to tell you because I was scared, Tom. I'm scared of leaving the life I've dreamed of." The two were silent for a moment. Tom sat back in his chair and propped his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. "Y/n, you could've told me about it, you know? I could've taken care of you." he mumbled out.

"I don't want to be a hindrance to your job. Tom, I know you've been dreaming to be an actor ever since you were young. You love acting, Tom, and I don't want you to stop doing what you love because of me."

"Don't I love you?" this silenced her.

"Y/n, you were never stopping me from anything. You're the only one thinking that. Jamie asked for my help, and I can't let you be alone in this state." Everything was a blur; from the time she was sent to the emergency room up to here. It passed by so quickly that her mind couldn’t comprehend everything that was happening. Tom wanted to help her, even after all that had happened between them, somehow this enlightened her. "I'm dying, Tom. Friedreich's ataxia can't be cured. I don't know how much time I have left, but all I know is that it's soon."

"Then let's make the most of it. Let me stay and be with you in the last moments of your life."

-

day two of One Week

enjoyed this story? let’s talk about it!

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[excorcismic]

      ❛ remember the time . . . in SAN FRANCISCO ? with me by your side , in SAN FRANCISCO ? you are such a  s i g h t  , the deepest brown eyes , my dear . . . ❜

                                                                      ❛ MISA MISA !! ❜                                            playlist . plotting call . listen as you read !

the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of HIRAI MOMO  -  but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of VALENTINE’S DAY , 2011 strikes you.  perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself  -  you’re MISA AMANE ! ,  a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD STREAMER / MUSICIAN whose virtue lies in your + LOYALTY & + OPTIMISM , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - NAÏVE & - IMPULSIVE ,  and you’re associated with BLACK PAINTED NAILS HOLDING A FOUNTAIN PEN , RUBY RED LIPS & EYES THAT MATCH , GIVING HIM YOUR EVERYTHING IN EXCHANGE FOR JUST HIS HEART by those around you.  suddenly,  however,  you’ve found LIGHT’S WHITE JACKET on your person - was that always there? from the moment you leave the funhouse,  memories from your life in DEATH NOTE have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you.  you can almost hear SAN FRANCISCO by THE DRIVER ERA following in your wake. ( she/her & demigirl )

                       this is the story of a very lonely girl .

I . WELL , LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW !

born in alucard , pennsylvania - misa amane was the child of celebrity parents who settled down in the small town . as of course , a TEMPORARY break . a director father and a failed actress mother , they were determined their daughter continue the legacy and turn into a star . and after a few good , normal years ( if ‘normal’ involved going to school & playing during the day then coming home to intense acting , singing , dancing practice ) , she managed to get wrapped into the world of stardom . 

first , it was through commercials . then , small parts in movies that called for cute little girls . then . . . a deal with a children’s network at age nine to star in a series about a child detective . affectionately called , THE MYSTERIES OF MISS MISA-MISA !

from nine to sixteen , she’d work tirelessly - becoming an instant hit the moment the pilot episode aired , selling merchandise all over the country and making appearances on other television shows . 

but then there’s the inevitable - kids start to grow up . the childish charm is lost & the children start to realize they were deprived of so much for the sake of fame . such things , like friends . and misa . . . although initially asked for a sequel series that would tackle the child detective now as a high schooler , declined in favor of going back home to pursue her high school years as a normal teen . of course - to the chagrin of her parents . she’d go back home to live with an aunt in alucard for a year , finishing her sophomore year , then her parents would follow - she’d move back in again at the start of her junior . and . . . it was not at all easy . considering a , she already had a reputation as a child star - which was equivalent to a target along her back . and b , the lack of friends was obvious - and even when she smiled at everyone , complimented their styles , helped them out with work she could assist with . . . most of the time , she’d sit by herself at the lunch table . or , with people that she didn’t know if they were actual friends or not . 

graduation comes , and misa amane stands to accept her diploma . there isn’t a graduation party ; she just sits in the back of her parents’ car , ready to go out to a fancy dinner she isn’t looking forward to .

II . YOU’RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE !

BUT ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST ! graduation is the end of a chapter - and the beginning of the next rests in amane’s hands . three months pass , and once again the family puts pressure on her to go back into showbiz . it isn’t too late , you’re young & pretty - you’re meant for movies . but . . . misa , of course , refuses . she actually is looking into maybe making another name for herself . . . but in a very different way than her parents would hope .

it’s an argument . an argument about how misa has talent she’s ignoring & an argument about how her parents can’t control her forever . one friend she has sits in her truck in the parking lot as misa packs her bags , and the heated argument ends with the blonde girl slamming the door and her parents telling her to come back only when she has her head screwed on straight . but it’s fine . misa’s alright with this - she’s going to be a star in her own right , since a band she’s started playing in underground has just gotten noticed . YOUR FRIENDS & THE SKELETONS - a hard pop-punk band influenced by the likes of my chemical romance , paramore , two door cinema club , the 1975 , what have you . 

alucard is left behind when the recognition comes since misa amane needs the change of scenery . but that doesn’t mean she is gone forever , as sometimes the pursuit of other things only lasts for so long . 

III . YOU’VE GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT !

the next few years are kind . the band experiences a nice success that means misa gets to live her dream - but she realizes the burnout when she looks back on everything she’s accomplished . the constant moving around , always only talking to the same few people or never anyone she gets to know - it registers that she’s still in some sort of box . and maybe a break from said box is needed .

your friends & the skeletons goes on a touring hiatus , retiring back to alucard . misa does not tell her family she’s going back - she doesn’t give a shit , and she doesn’t think they do , either . she gets an apartment by herself , and starts frequently streaming to still connect with her fans even though she’s taken a step back out of the spotlight . 

alucard is quiet . and alucard is home . but there’s a lot that misa again has to face .

she has a history here , yes - but nevertheless , there is still that feeling of loneliness . in every aspect - she never had many friends . little of her relationships lasted long , always ending with unrequited love , quick heartbreak , what have you . only her bandmembers did she have , even though she tried to throw herself at every friendly face she saw .

because she’s always been friendly . always a friend to everyone else , even if they aren’t a friend to her . only hoping maybe SOMEONE ELSE can see her as someone - begging to be somebody’s top-pick , somebody’s vip , somebody to someone . because her whole life she’s lived as only the bridesmaid , but never the bride in the eyes of those looking away from stardom . because it’s one thing to be adored by fans - it’s another to be adored by individual people .

IV . AND THEY’RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK !

nevertheless , amane is never one to give up quickly . because she believes that someday , maybe she’ll get what she wants . . . even though of course , when things go south , she still quickly accepts maybe she isn’t meant to be somebody’s someone . 

but she always smiles .

misa amane is one of a kind . she’s got so much love in her heart to share - she’s sensitive , maybe she gets hurt easily . maybe she’s IMPULSIVE and naive to where she bites off more than she can chew and believes things she shouldn’t . she jumps into things without realizing how much she could get hurt . talks without thinking . but she is friendly - she’s kind , outgoing , and cherishes those she admires even if they don’t cherish her back . her heart is forever on her sleeve , and all she wants to be loved . she’s been lonely for a long time .

she’s talented ! not only fronting her band with vocals & rhythm guitar , but also taking interests in visual art , crafting . aside from streaming , she runs a little etsy shop where she makes jewelry and keychains of her own little style . she of course can act , but hates it at this point . she also knows how to play the piano & the drums !!

she regularly streams for her fans - whether it’s to watch movies or shows with them or to play video games she has with them . she’s social , in that she always loves to talk to someone . her batteries recharge through social interaction , as an extrovert’s extrovert .

i wouldn’t say misa is stupid . she’s clever - witty . but sometimes she’s a little ditzy and acts without thinking ; i like to thing she did pretty well in school in terms of her grades , but her tendencies to both act and speak without thinking and sometimes forgetting simple things can give the impression she isn’t too smart . but she is ; just in her own special ways . she’s not dumb at all .

she also knows no fear - courageous to some points where it’s even dangerous . she regularly likes to go on adventures in the dark to investigate possible haunted areas , always is the one to kill the bugs when everyone else is scared , heights and the dark are never an issue . she also lives and breathes for the occult , heavily believing in everything supernatural . she even practices witchcraft ! 

also she's hardcore pan if u think misa is straight U Are Mistaken

it is almost a certain guarantee that misa amane is perhaps one of the friendliest faces in alucard . the one that only hopes you like her as much as she likes you . and maybe one day she’ll find that - until then , she will never stop persisting . she goes everywhere and she smiles at everyone ; a shimmer of sunshine in black platforms & cross earrings .

WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING - WHAT YOU WAITING FOR ?? . . .

                    . . .  holding on , i’m holding on to our story . . .

there is a girl . a very lonely girl . a very lonely girl that looks back at misa when she stares into the house of mirrors . and that lonely girl is a thought that misa can’t get out of her head , along with the newfound feeling that there is something - no , someone missing from her life that should be there . or was there . a missing piece that she doesn’t recognize . and the white jacket , a bit too big for her to fit , that appears on her person - the attachment she feels to it gives her security , like a safety blanket ; even though she has no clue where it came from , or who it actually belonged to . . . 

god i fried my own brain writing this but anyway HELLO EVERYONE once again i am hylia and . . . i have finally finished . my monster of an intro for misa . once again if u want to look at my plot/connection ideas pls click the plotting call link at the top of this post !! i love this girl to death and i hope u guys like her too c: bc she is my BABIE and i ,,, am so stoked to write her here . I’LL SEE Y’ALL WHEN I GET OFF WORK !! <3 

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part five) Fandom: Supernatural AU Characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Ash Miles, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually) Word count: ±4500 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part five: Y/N successfully completes her first day as a ranch hand and it’s enough reason for bunkhouse celebration. But the evening, filled with drinks and music, sparks more than Y/N bargained for. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: ‘Stairway To Heaven (acoustic guitar solo) - Daisuke Minamizawa, ‘Simple Man’ - Jensen Ackles, Jason Manns. Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me Playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage, @coffee-obsessed-writer and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish for helping me. You girls are awesome betas. 

Ride With Me Masterlist

     6.40 PM: Y/N’s exhausting first day at Gold Canyon Ranch is over. She didn't expect the time to fly by as it did. But turning out the horses, sweeping the floors, and cleaning the tack actually offered a soothing satisfaction. It was a nice variation to pitching business plans and writing a thesis, which basically has been the only thing she worked on for the past eight months. The tasks here were simple, therapeutic almost. That she didn't get to ride a single horse yet doesn't even bother her. What does, is the fact that she is drenched in sweat and covered in dust and horsehair. She can feel dirt tickle in her cleavage and under her bra, in her socks, and beneath the denim of her jeans. Somehow the particles got absolutely everywhere, mixing with the layer of moisture that covers her entire body.

     Dean locks up the tack room, which Y/N sorted out, while Jo took a group of twelve guests on a mountain hack. Impressed, he glances through the glass four-squared window, before he turns to her. The intern asked to organize the tack herself, after noticing the messy storage place. To Garth’s delight, he didn't even have to assign her that job.      “Good work. I don't think it has ever been this neat,” the head wrangler compliments.      Y/N smiles at that, raking her fingers through her dirty hair; it feels like she hasn't washed it in a week.      “Thanks,” she replies, happy that her work is being appreciated.

     The two of them stroll outside to the square behind the stables, where Benny and Ash are already waiting after they secured all the gaits. Jo joins too and sits down on the edge of a trough that holds fresh water for the thirsty four-legged workers when they come back from rides. While the five wait for Garth to finish up refilling the feed cart, Benny and Ash have a smoke. Y/N joins the ranch owner’s daughter and settles down in the spot she saved. Tired, she sighs louder than she wanted to be audible.      Jo sniggers. “A little different from the desk job you studied for, huh?”      Y/N takes off her hat and rubs away the beads of sweat that have gathered on her forehead with the back of her hand. Jo knows what she received her master’s in, because after the young blonde escorted her to the bunkhouse and helped bring in her luggage, they continued the conversation that started in the car on their way from the airport. Besides turning down the head wrangler, her study also came up.       “It's a nice change of pace,” she admits, smiling content.      “So, you like it here? Not gonna go runnin’ back to Maine?” Jo double-checks.      “Not anytime soon,” Y/N assures.      “Good!”

     Garth, who snuck up from behind, grips her shoulders and drags her back with more force than you would expect from the slender stable boy. Without mercy, he pulls the rookie from the edge, backed up by Jo who gives her an extra push, causing Y/N to lose balance and fall into the water trough. With a loud yelp, she lands in the cold water and almost goes under entirely, legs still dangling over the edge. Like a cat that has slipped into a bathtub, she desperately claws at anything in order to get a grip and pull herself up again, eyes wide in shock.      “Jesus Christ! C-cold!” she stammers, throwing Jo and Garth a startled look. “What did you do that for?!”      None of the workers can answer immediately. Benny has buckled over from laughter as Ash claps his hands, entertained. Both Garth and the girl who Y/N thought was her friend have trouble breathing. Dean watches from a little distance, arms crossed and an amused grin on his face.       “You are now officially a part of the team, Yankee.” The cowboy grins, victoriously. “Consider this your initiation.”

     Y/N stops struggling to get out, a huff escaping her lips. Of course, she should have known that the newbie gets pranked at some point. Feeling fooled and embarrassed, the intern shakes her head. Although their actions have her feeling insecure, she’s also aware that this gag might be a token of their acceptance.      She sighs, extending her hand and asking for a little help. “Alright, you guys got me.”      Jo steps forward, trying to hide the smirk still plastered on her face. Not for long, though, because Y/N braces herself with one boot on the edge of the trough and quickly locks her fingers around Jo’s wrist. Unable to escape the intern’s grip and not nearly quick enough to prevent an involuntary dive, Jo is pulled into the water as well, exclaiming a loud squeal that sounds more like a pig than a human being. Now the guy's bellow over in laughter; Dean especially, seems to die in a fit after witnessing his little cousin get her well-deserved payback. The look on Jo’s face causes Y/N to giggle loudly as well; seems like years of wrestling her three brothers pay off once again.      “You ungrateful lil’ skank!” Jo exclaims, propping herself up on her hands to keep herself above the water surface.      “You're calling me out? Really?” Y/N replies as she gets up.      Turning towards the blonde wrangler after stumbling out of the trough, she places her hands on her waist as Garth helps Jo to her feet. Disgusted, she just stands there, holding out her arms while the water drips down, leaving puddles in the dry sand.       “Great.” She scoffs, stepping out as her cowboy boots squish. “Now I really really need a shower.”       “And a dry shirt, or your dad will rip you a new one at dinner,” Dean smirks.      “Nice bra, by the way,” Y/N whispers, leaning in a little closer before she speaks.

     Jo’s jaw drops in shock as she glances down at her light blue chequered blouse, which transformed into a see-through hooker top now that it’s drenched. Her red lace bra is visible, catching the attention of the men. All but one, because Jo’s relative obviously isn't captivated by his little cousin, but rather by the other cowgirl. The denim blouse Y/N is wearing doesn't actually reveal more now that it's wet, but the fabric does stick to her skin as if it's an airtight fit, outlining every beautiful curve she has. Water droplets sneak from her neck down her chest and into her shirt, shimmering on her smooth skin. Dean swallows hard. Hot damn, she’s a sight for sore eyes.  

     Still smiling widely at Jo - who started a rant about how a bra isn't any different from a bikini - Y/N lets her gaze wander over to him. Dean instantly looks down, feeling busted, as red flushes his cheeks. The smirk on her lips dies down into a subtle smile, reading him until he dares to meet her eyes again. Did he just...? Was he…? Had she just caught him staring at her in awe? That short moment in which she found him looking, he seemed mesmerized. Him being the one to break eye contact, immediately followed by the blush that even his dipped down cowboy hat can't hide, only proves that.      Dean feels exposed, and he decides to direct the attention to one of the workers before anyone else notices the moment between them. He glances at Garth, who seems to be under a spell as well, a spell unintentionally cast on him by the other girl. The head wrangler’s death stare doesn't even snap him out of his trance.      “Like what you see, Garth?” Dean clears his throat, protective of his cousin.       Turning red, the timid young guy drops his gaze, stammering something incomprehensible. Meanwhile, Jo eyes Garth with a perplexed look on her face, but then focuses on Y/N. It awakens her from her thoughts and with good reason. Right about now would be a good time to start running.      “You are so dead,” Jo scoffs, trying to come off as serious. 

     It's the intern’s cue to head for the hills, letting out a laugh as Jo chases after her towards the bunkhouse. The men watch them run away and Benny can't help but chuckle.      “Hell, I would pay to see a wrestling match in the mud between those two gals.”      “That’s my cousin you’re talking about,” Dean warns.      Benny smirks. “So? She ain't my cousin.”      The comment is countered by a smack in the head, so fast that the broad farrier is unable to dodge the swing. He laughs at his friend's response, though. Bantering and frolicking is common between the two. After all, they have been like brothers for the past fifteen years.      “You leave me no choice then, I’ll settle for the other Belle,” Benny jokes.

     Dean responds with a forced chuckle, but the comment has his stomach in knots. No way Benny is going to run off with the girl he has set his mind on. He must do something, come up with an excuse to prevent the guy from going all Southern charm on her. He has to keep his cool, though.      “Sorry buddy, but I’m calling dibs on the intern,” he decides, patting his friend on the shoulder as he passes him.        Stunned by the bold announcement, Benny stops in his tracks, then he snorts in laughter. He cannot be serious. He’s calling dibs?       “Oh, no no no,” he counters, catching up with the head wrangler again. “You don't get to call dibs on her. I know you put your money on that horse, but if I remember correctly, she declined.”      “Don't care. I saw her first,” Dean simply replies, not impressed with his best friend’s contradictions.

     Benny shoots him a glare, but the brightness of his clear blue eyes shows that he thinks of it as nothing more than a harmless disagreement. Besides jokingly keeping a score every now and then, there is no competition between the two of them whatsoever. Usually, they don't even fuss about who takes who to their rooms at the end of the night. The women they shared their beds with were at the ranch for a couple of weeks at most, an intern would stay a little longer if they lasted that long. There was never any seriousness to the flings, they were just that: short term and without attachments. One night Benny got lucky, another night Dean, some nights both men had a woman in their beds. Heck, there have even been a handful of girls they both had sex with. Although Benny doesn't sense it yet, this is different. Dean can't really put his finger on it and he plans not to look into it too much, but he wants Y/N for himself.      “Oh, c’mon now. Women who come through those saloon doors are rarely that easy on the eyes,” Benny whines.      “Well, there's Casey.” Dean waits for his companion to pick up on the hint, which he does soon enough.      The Southerner narrows his eyes, making sure that his pal is implying what he thinks he's implying. “What would be your proposition, my friend?”      Dean hooks his thumb behind his belt buckle as he kicks his boots through the dirt, a sparkling triumph in his eyes. This offer is going to be too good to turn down. “Casey - who by the way is as thrilling to take for a private ride as you've been imagining - is all yours. You can have her to yourself if you leave Y/N for me.”      The men reach the porch of the bunkhouse, where they halt at the bottom of the steps. Benny turns to face his friend, who has extended his hand and is waiting for the guy opposite of him to shake it. He reads the head wrangler while rubbing his beard, piercing eyes trying to sweeten the pot.      “I dunno, brother. That intern is somethin’ else,” he contemplates, challenging. “And what if she turns your sorry hind down again, huh? Sure I can give it a go then?”      But the head wrangler shakes his head and keeps his foot down. “Either you're in or you're out.” 

     Benny keeps a straight face as he considers his options, but then the line that parts his lips starts to grow into a devilish grin. He shakes the cowboy’s hand in agreement.      “Great doing business with ya, Chief,” he says, content.      The firm handshake lasts just long enough for Jo to see when she peeks through the beaded fly curtain. She changed her clothes and freshened up. As she throws the boys a penetrating glare, she continues braiding her long hair.      “What are you asshats up to?” she questions, picking up on their suspicious behavior.      The partners in crime look at each other and shrug innocently.       “Nothin’,” they respond in unison.      The ranch owner's daughter takes a second or two to read them, furrowing her brow as her penetrating stare pauses on Dean, then on her colleague. Despite not trusting their shady whispers for one bit, she rolls her eyes and goes back to the bathroom to call Y/N for dinner. Sometimes she wonders how it is possible that those two idjits aren't related.

     How the employees of the Singer family are not so fat that before getting in the saddle, their horses would flip them off, amazes Y/N. Ellen’s crispy fried chicken topped generously with homemade gravy, served with potato slices baked in rosemary, together with buttered corn on the cob, tastes absolutely delicious. Jo’s mother cooked enough for an orphanage, or for eight hungry men and women as it turns out. Despite that it seemed impossible to eat half of the meal that was served up, the pots and pans are scraped clean by the end of dinner. Seems like everyone worked up quite an appetite.      Full and satisfied, Y/N heads back to the bunkhouse together with the other residents, expecting to retreat to her room, crash on her bed feeling delightfully bloated for about fifteen minutes before falling asleep. But when Benny and Garth drag some chairs outside on the porch as Jo flicks a switch that turns on fairy lights that hang from the ceiling of the roof edge, she starts to get that the evening has only just begun. Country starts to alternate with rock on a playlist called Bunkhouse Booze-nights on Ash’s computer and she can’t help but grin when the familiar intro of Led Zep’s ‘Ramble On’ comes from the speakers. When she looks over, she catches Dean behind the laptop, a boyish smirk on his face and a wink coming her way. Y/N feels the blood rush to her cheeks, unable to stop the corners of her mouth from shifting into a smile. 

     “What are you havin’?” he asks, making his way over to the doorway to grab drinks.      The intern isn’t sure if consuming alcohol is smart, knowing that her alarm will start buzzing again at 5.30 in the morning. She doesn’t want to give the wrong impression, plus she’s fully aware that she’s an absolute lightweight. The last time she had a couple of drinks was at her graduation party, if she remembers correctly since the memory is a bit vague. What she does remember is that she wasn’t worth a dime by the end of the night, let alone the next morning.      “A soda is fine,” she replies shyly.      Her peculiar answer draws some attention.      “I'm afraid we don't serve that here, sugar,” Benny chuckles, leaning against the back of the bench, boots propped on a wooden box that serves as a table.      “C’mon, Yankee. Live a little!” Jo encourages.       She emerges from behind the fly curtain, her arms around two large cozy cushions that decorated the couches inside. She throws one, which Y/N is able to catch before it hits her in the face, as she herself sits down on the other one.      She yields. “A beer then. Just one.”      “Let me tell you somethin’,” Dean says when he gets back from the kitchen with a crate of heavenly golden brew. “Firstly: we don’t drink beer here. You’re in Arizona now, we drink Corona, and secondly-” He sits down on a chair opposite of the intern, setting the twenty-four bottles down on the ground, “- you can never have just one beer.”

     He takes out a Corona, hooks the cap behind the edge of the crate, and jams the bottle down with the palm of his free hand, sending the cap in the air. When he hands Y/N the drink, she shakes her head, chuckling. Apparently her new colleagues are going to make sure she will have fun tonight, whether she likes it or not. The head wrangler continues to open the Mexican ‘Cervezas’ until everyone has a drink in their hand.      “Fellas,” Benny calls for attention as he heaves his drink. “May the wranglers ride horses and the cowgirls ride wranglers.”      The men cheer and toast to that. Jo, however, raises her eyebrow at Benny and then disapprovingly scoffs. Challenging, her gaze glides past the men in the circle, Y/N can tell she has a comeback ready.      “Here’s to our horses. May their obedience and inability to talk bullshit inspire men one day.”      Y/N snorts and even Garth appreciates the smart reply, hiding his amused grin when Benny looks over at him, muttering ‘What? It was funny’ while the women in their company toast their bottles and take a sip.      “Alright, all jokes aside,” Dean now raising his glass to the newest member of the crew. “To our new intern. May you have the time of your life here at the ranch, gain a new family, and find what you are looking for.”      His words warm Y/N; that was such a sweet thing of him to say. She knows Jo thinks it’s a public flirt, but again she reads so much truth in his words. Appreciatively the cowgirl smiles, her Corona meeting his in the air, after which the others join in on the toast.      “Hear, hear!” Garth chants, backed up by the others.

     It will turn out to be the beginning of a great night. Y/N gets to know the other workers a little better and is all ears when Ash starts to tell tall tales about his bull riding career. The first crate of Corona is emptied in record time and the crew starts on a second. After three beers she can feel the alcohol taking an effect and Y/N’s conscience begins to sound the alarm. She’s not sure if a crisis in the morning is avoidable at this point, but if she still wants a chance at a good start of tomorrow, now would be the time to head to bed. It’s ten to midnight when she decides to call it, to the disappointment of the others.      “Ah, please. Don’t leave me with these morons,” Jo begs when her new friend gets up.      “I'm gonna be a tired mess if I don't,” Y/N responds, feeling a little sorry for her.      “We’ll forgive you if you're a little sleepy and hungover tomorrow, Y/N,” Garth promises.      “I'm not sure if Mr. Singer will see it that way,” she brings to mind.      “You'll be fine and if not, you can blame it on us,” Benny adds.       “C'mon… Stay?”      It's Dean who asks, his soft green eyes on the cowgirl as he waits for her to cave. With a deep sigh, she glances at her watch, knowing that she really shouldn't. Y/N is about to tell him ‘no’ for the second night in a row, when his best friend saves him.      “You'll miss the best part of the night. Dean was just about to fetch his guitar,” Benny mentions.      His remark triggers Y/N to curiously raises her brow at the head wrangler, who in turn eyes the Southern farrier.       “I was?” he counters.      Benny chuckles. “If you want her to stick around, you better.”       Dean now glances over at the intern carefully, then gets up. “Alright alright…” he mumbles, pushing the fly curtain aside when he heads to his room.

     Y/N sits down again, waiting for him to return in anticipation; this she would like to see. Seconds later, the handsome cowboy returns with a Gibson six string. He settles on his chair again and rests the body of the acoustic guitar on his right thigh. The way the curved lines of the instrument form around his leg as he gently holds it by the neck that fits his hand perfectly, one would think that the guitar was made especially for him. He positions his fingers on the strings between the frets and strums them with his other hand above the soundhole while listening carefully, then twists one of the tuners on the head of the guitar slightly as he keeps testing the string until it's on key. The process continues until the Gibson sounds like harmony, then Dean shifts his focus to his audience.      “Requests?” he asks the group, although he is looking at the only woman he has eyes for.      “Anything good and old,” she replies, folding her legs in pretzel position while leaning forward, elbows on her knees, and the fourth bottle between her hands.

     He thinks about if for a short moment, then starts playing the intro of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Stairway to Heaven’. The delighted expression when she recognizes the song after two notes triggers Dean to smile, and he continues to play. His fingers move swiftly over the fretboard as the wrangler hits the chords while swaying slowly to the rhythm, closing his eyes every so often. He makes a face when he messes up a note, but recovers and picks it back up. Completely astounded by his talent, Y/N doesn’t even notice that her jaw drops slightly when he sets in on the first verse and nails the melody. There is no doubt about it; he is absolutely amazing. When the song is over he receives a four-man applause and a shout out from Ash, who appreciates a little classic rock as well.      “If you think that's all that pretty face can do, you're wrong,” Benny tells her. “He's just warmin’ up.”      “How about some Southern comfort then, ey Benny? A little Lynyrd Skynyrd?” the head wrangler suggests.      His fingers caress the strings again, light and soft as if he's starting on a lullaby. Although the original is a true rock n’ roll anthem, Y/N recognizes the song that he’s about to cover acoustically. When Dean opens his mouth and lets his voice be heard, her eyes grow larger and she cannot believe her ears.      "Mama told me, when I was young.      Said ‘sit beside me, my only son.      Listen closely, to what I say.      If you do this, it will help you some sunny day."

     Y/N isn’t sure if it's the serenade he performs for her that does the trick, or the sight of the good looking cowboy playing his guitar as he brings the lyrics so passionately, but now she’s the one who’s mesmerized. His voice sounds like a combination of honey and whiskey, a rough edge adding to the beautiful depth. Completely blown away, she listens to the gift that was given him, taking in the musical mix of guitar and vocals.      “Oh, take your time. Don't live too fast.      Troubles will come, and they will pass.” As he continues, Dean looks up, meeting Y/N’s astonished gaze, which he keeps a hold of like he did on the night they met.

     “You'll find a woman, and you'll find love…”      While singing the line, his eyes are fixed on her. Maybe or maybe not intentional, but that question does not influence the consequences. She feels her heart rate pick up, beating evidently in her chest. A warm, tingly sensation starts to evolve in the pit of her stomach, enabling her to move. If she would have wanted to break eye contact, good luck, because turning her gaze away is simply impossible.      “Forget your lust from the rich man's gold.      All that you need, is in your soul.      You can do this, oh baby, if you try.      All that I want for you is to be satisfied.”      The fight against the effect that cowboy has on her, lasted a good twenty-four hours. Stubbornly she battled what surfaced the very first moment he so much as glanced at her over his poker cards yesterday evening, when she first saw the handsome wrangler. There are plenty of reasons why letting these feelings roam free is a bad idea. For one, work doesn't mix well with personal life. Secondly, she’s only staying for six months and was unable to keep a relationship going with someone who lives in the same town, let alone halfway across the country. Y/N could go on bullet-pointing why she should resist the hypnosis he has her under. This is a bad, bad idea, Y/N! He’s a playboy! He doesn’t like you, he likes girls in general! He couldn’t possibly be attracted to you! But telling herself doesn't help anymore, there's no reasoning with her heart.       “And be a simple kind of man.      Be something you'll love and understand.       Baby, be a simple, kind of man.      Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can.”      The excitement she felt when she got on a pony at the age of four. The true fear she experienced when she fell off a horse, that moment right before she hit the ground. The thrill when she performed a sliding stop for the first time. That profound admiration that warmed her soul when she got Meadow from her granddad. The ecstasy that raised her up when she became State Champion with a perfect ride. Throw all those emotions into a blender and that would describe how Y/N feels right now. Vividly experiencing the chemical reaction in her brain, she continues to watch the man strumming his guitar, who has absolutely no idea what he’s doing to the young woman opposite of him. The small light bulbs above him shimmer an angelic light on his golden hair, highlighting his strong features. She is so captivated by the moment, that she can barely make out the words he's singing, but she does hear the soul in his voice. And as she realizes what is happening to her, something snaps inside, like a rubber band. Then she knows. Then she knows that there is in fact a way to describe this rollercoaster ride she’s on right now.

     She’s falling.      She’s falling in love.      "Don't you worry, you'll find yourself.      Follow your heart, and nothing else.      You can do this, oh baby, if you try.      All that I want from you, is to be satisfied.”

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part six here

[purplesurveys]

941

ACH

Do you listen to anything by Bach? I’ve probably encountered some of his material since I like looking for classical musical playlists to listen to on Spotify, but I’m nowhere near being a devoted fan or anything like that.

ASH

Do you like ash trees? I’m not attached to any kind of tree, really – but I know I have nothing against this kind, haha.

Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? No. The only ashes I’ve gotten to encounter are my grandpa’s, but we’ve since placed them in our local ossuary so that he can rest in peace.

How often do you feel like you want to bash your head against a wall? Before September, quite seldom. But with this month being so turbulent, chaotic, and nothing like I expected it to be, seldom has turned into every day.

Has anyone ever thrown you a big birthday bash? Sure. I had a big party when I was 7 and I also had a nice slew of celebrations when I turned 18. But if you mean a surprise birthday bash then no, no one has thrown one for me.

Do you know anyone who is brash? I do, but fortunately I haven’t had to work with her for a while now. I certainly often felt annoyed when I used to have to.

Do you typically carry cash or a credit/debit card? OMG Y’ALL I finally opened my own bank account last Friday I’ve never felt so grown-up until now haha. My dad helped me set up my first card, which is a debit card. :)

Have you ever crashed someone else’s party before? No, that sounds so annoying omg. I’d never want to be known as a gatecrasher. I know I’d be pissed if someone showed up to any of my parties uninvited.

Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes but fortunately they’ve all been super mild ones. One of my biggest fears is getting involved in a car crash where things would be out of my control and becoming seriously injured, like if a drunk driver crashed into me or if a 12-wheeler loses its brakes and slams into my car or something. I think I’d live in resentment for the rest of my life if that sort of thing happened to me and still ended up alive.

Do you use Door Dash? I didn’t know what this is so I had to look it up, and even though we don’t have Door Dash we do have several apps that do exactly the same services.

How often do you use a dash in your writing? I like using them in more casual contexts like survey entries, personal essays, feature articles, etc. I avoid dashes in academic writing since dashes are not really the most formal of punctuation marks.

Last place you made a mad dash to? The car repair shop that my dad asked me to meet him at because his situation was a little urgent at the time.

Do you make it a habit to flash people? Oh wow, no I don’t. That’s one of the last things anyone can expect from me. I like wearing revealing or skin-tight articles of clothing, but that doesn’t mean I like giving absolutely everything away lol

Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? No flash, always. I hate the effect that flash does and I never go for it, unless I’m in an area where lighting is poor.

Is the Flash one of your favorite superheroes? No. I’m not very big on superheroes to begin with.

Do you use the phrase “I’ll be back in a flash”? Not really. I find myself using “I’ll be super quick” more, or using ‘jiffy’ instead of flash.

Have you ever had a gash in your head before? Anywhere else on your body? I sported a gash near my eyebrow once because of some cousin who tried to blind me by hurling a glass jar towards my left eye and just narrowly missing my actual eyeball. Now there’s a scar in its place. Currently, I have multiple gashes on my arms and legs because Cooper.

Do you like hash browns? They’re okay, but I can’t have them all the time because I find them way too greasy for my enjoyment.

Do you do hash? No.

How often do you use hash tags? Almost never, unless I’m fighting for a political cause like BLM or calling for free mass testing. Hashtags got real lame real quick when they started getting popular around 7-8 years ago.

Do you have long eyelashes? Yes, it’s my favorite feature of mine and I get compliments on them fairly often.

How often do you lash out at others? For what reasons? Not often, but when I do it’s almost always because I’m already buckling under immense pressure and probably have nowhere to release my stress onto. I don’t turn it into an automatic mechanism though, because I don’t want to make others feel like shit for things they didn’t do.

Do you like mashed potatoes? I enjoy them but they’re not really my favorite dish. I can do 4-5 spoonfuls of them before getting over them haha, like I can never seem to finish a serving of it.

Do you typically gnash your teeth together? No I HATEEEE the sensation and the sound that it makes. My sister grinds her teeth in her sleep and it drives me nuts whenever we’re on a family trip and we share a room.

Do you know someone who speaks balderdash? Sure.

What color is the backsplash of your kitchen? White.

Have you ever had any rashes before? What kinds? Yes. Back in high school I used to occasionally get a random itchy area on my leg and whenever I’d scratch it, it would turn into an ugly patch of rashes. I never figured what the condition was but I’m just glad it’s never happened again.

Do you typically make rash decisions? Sometimes. I really tend to impulsive. The last one I made was swapping a full-time job opportunity for an internship with much lesser pay. Even I was surprised by how quick I jumped into the latter, but I like the nature of the work of the internship SO MUCH MORE, and I dunno if I’ll be happy with what I would be doing in the full-time gig. Plus, internships here are never even paid ones, so the fact that they even offered to give me an allowance per day just goes to show how good the company I’m interning for is.

Have you ever worn a sash before? I probably have but I don’t remember what for anymore.

Do you often find that your personality clashes with others’ around you? Yes, but I’m also good at adjusting to all kinds of personalities so I’m not too bothered by the clashes.

Whose tires would you like to slash? Any racist’s tires, really.

Who would you like to smash with? No one at the moment.

What was the last thing you smashed out of anger? I don’t really tend to be violent when I’m angry. The last angry thing I did was to throw my head against a pillow, but that’s it.

Do you have a secret stash of something hidden anywhere? Nopes.

How often do you take out the trash? My parents prefer to do it so they don’t really ask us to.

Has anyone ever told you that you look like trash? Other than myself, no.

Do you like to splash in the pool, the bathtub, or in puddles? I wouldn’t call it my favorite thing to do; I hate the mess that it makes, ha.

Have you ever thrashed violently before? What was the cause? Yeah. I probably embarrassed my grandma for life when I did so, but it was when I had to be confined to the hospital and they needed to insert the IV thing on me. It sent me into the worst panic attack I’ve ever gotten and I ended up thrashing a lot and several people had to hold me down so that the nurse could stick the thing into my wrist.

Do you own and use an eyelash curler? No. Those make me cringe so bad...I hate how they get so close to the eyeball. Kate brought her makeup kit to school everyday and she always made me try to learn how to curl my own lashes, but it just made me feel so nauseated lol

Have you ever experienced backlash from others? A few times before.

Have you ever had whiplash before? Never.

ATH

Do you prefer a shower or a bath? Shower. Much more efficient. Baths are relaxing, but I don’t like how I end up bathing in what’s pretty much dirty water.

Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? I’ve only given Kimi a bath. I let my dad bathe Cooper since he’s too much of a handful for now, plus I think it’s fair if we bathe one dog each haha.

How good are you at math? I can answer advanced algebra, statistics, and geometry questions if you give me enough time to review and get reacquainted with the formulas, but I’m perfectly alright with no longer revisiting trigonometry and calculus for the rest of my life.

Do you feel like your life is on the right path? Career-wise it definitely is; I’m happy with the direction it’s going right now. Everything else seems so turbulent at the moment and I can’t say I’m happy.

Are there any bike paths or footpaths in your area? We have sidewalks, if they count.

Have you ever gone on the warpath before? Not really. I do get very angry with certain people if I think they’ve been behaving badly, but I rarely get confrontational.

Is there a birdbath in your yard? No, those aren’t common here at all. I’ve only seen those in cartoons, I think.

Have you ever had a footbath before? Nopes.

What’s the last thing you’ve had to deal with the aftermath of? I can think of one thing but it’s still pretty triggering so I don’t feel like bringing it up at the moment.

Have you ever witnessed a bloodbath? Thankfully I haven’t. I get so queasy when I see blood though; it’s so much better off this way because I wouldn’t be able to deal with one at all.

Are you a sociopath or a psychopath? Do you know anyone who might be? No lol. I don’t think I know of anyone who could possibly be either. I wouldn’t want to associate myself with one in the first place.

Who’s the last person that you faced the wrath of? Myself.

AMP

Do you have an instrument that you plug into an amp? Nope, I own 0 instruments.

When’s the last time you felt amped up? What was the reason? Thursday morning when I parked in front of the office I was gonna have my job interview in. I needed to hype myself up to feel confident so I spent a couple of minutes in the car pumping my chest and screaming and shit, lol

Have you ever gone to day camp or overnight sleepaway camp? No. My mom wouldn’t have allowed me as a kid.

When’s the last time you felt like a champ? It’s been a while. I haven’t exactly felt like I’ve been winning in anything.

Last time it was damp where you lived? This afternoon. It was really humid for a good few hours and then it ended up raining.

Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? My index finger whenever I’d try to use chopsticks; and my toes when I hiked in Sagada. The toe cramps were so bizarre I was actually laughing-crying the whole time the tour guide was treating me; my dad was taking photos of me too loooooool

Do you refer to your grandfather as “Gramps”? No. I call both of them Lolo, which is our local version of Grandpa.

Have you ever worn a headlamp before? No, I’ve never really had to.

Do you have a ramp anywhere in your house? I don’t think so, no.

Has anyone ever called you “scamp” before? No.

How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? There is one lamp, and it is currently turned on.

Do you stamp your feet when you are angry? It doesn’t tend to be a behavior of mine, no.

Last time you used a postage stamp? Not sure...grade school, probably? I never used those a lot.

Are there streetlamps on your street? What time do they turn on? Yep. I don’t keep track of their schedule but a safe guess would be either 6 or 6:30 PM.

Last place/area that you wanted to revamp? My room.

Do you know anyone who is a tramp? No.

Have you seen Lady and the Tramp before? Not the full movie but I’ve seen a lot of excerpts from watching Magic English as a kid.

Do you know anyone with a “tramp stamp”? I don’t think so.

AWK/AULK/ALK

Is the squawk of certain birds annoying? Which ones? I’ve never found any of them annoying, but maybe that’s also because there aren’t a lot of different birds flying around where I live.

Do you prefer hawks or falcons? And…why? I don’t have a preference; I’ve never encountered either.

Has anyone ever watched you like a hawk before? That sounds a little creepy and I wouldn’t want to know if anyone has.

What was the last thing you used caulk on?   I’m almost positive I’ve never handled that, haha.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[romanosgirl1978]

Title TBD II

Okay. So i know its been a long ass time... but Ive had this for almost a year now and quite a bit of progress. So I wanted to post it. Also, as always, thank you @fan-grell-411 for all your help throughout this thing.

This is my first ( i think) Star Trek fic that I’ve posted.

Bones x Reader

Warnings-Cursing

Word Count -1214

Summary- Reader is Jim’s twin and falls for a certain southern doctor. Will they be able to make it through the self-sacrifices and secrets? {Extreme slow burn. This will not be a quick thing}

“So how’d you do?” You asked him as you walked out of the testing facility. You and your brother had both just finished taking Starfleet’s aptitude test.

“Its an aptitude test (Y/N). It's not something that you can fail,” Jim says. “But I think that I did pretty well. The questions seemed fairly simple. What about you, resident genius? How’d you do?”

“Please, you're just as smart as I am. You just choose to act like an idiot.”

“Says the one who stole a police hoverbike and re-registered it,” he whispers in your ear, nodding to the very same bike that you drove to the test today.

“The improved bike that no one is even suspicious about. And besides, I'm not the one that keeps getting into fights. That's all you Jimmy boy.”

“Tch, that's besides the point. Anyway, how do you think you did?”

“As good as I can, I don't really know. Hopefully good enough to get out of this damn town,” you mutter, swinging a leg over the bike.

“You gonna leave me here all by myself, sis?”

“Damn right. Can't stand being near you,” you joke, winking at him as you pull your hair out of your face.

“Yeah yeah. You gonna be home tonight?” He asks, voice suddenly serious.

You nod. “I should be. I'll send a message if anything changes though.”

He wraps an arm around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head. “Be safe.”

“Never,” you grab the wireless headphones and put them in, starting your favorite riding playlist, before revving the bike and driving out of the parking lot.

A short drive later brings you to the sketchier part of your little town and into the tattoo parlor.

“Back so soon sweetheart?” The owner, Matt, asks when he sees you walk in.

You smile at him. “Sure am. I just finished my aptitude test and wanted to finish off the rose before I get shipped to Starfleet.”

“You got accepted already?” He asks, shocked but proud.

“No. It's not official yet. But I think I did and there's no way in hell I’m letting anyone else finish your masterpiece.”

“How long have I got you for then?”

You grin at him. “Until you finish. We’re completing it today. What do you say, you up for it?” You ask, holding up the oversized tee-shirt you always brought for your sessions.

“You’re on. Think you can handle the pain sweetheart?”

“Have I ever not been able to?”

“Come on,” he heads back to his work station and sets your chair up, patting it once he's done. “Go ahead and change, get comfortable. Call me when you're ready,” he smiles at you before walking out, letting you change and shift around.

“Alright Matty. I’m ready.”

“You're sure about this?” He asks one last time.

“It's a bit late for that dont you think,” you say, lifting the shirt to the top of your hip to show an outline of a rose from your last session here. “I mean we've already got the outline for it done.”

“Alright then, let's finish it.” He pulls his chair up beside you and tests the machine a couple of times before steadying your leg. “Let me know if I need to stop for a minute so you can catch your breath alright? No toughing it out for the whole session this time. It's gonna take a few hours to shade all of this.”

You nod at him. “I promise Matt. Now let's get started.”

“Ma’am yes, ma’am,” he teases and starts shading, the only thing that keeps you from hitting his shoulder.

Through the whole four hours that it takes to shade you only need to take three breaks, mostly to use the bathroom, and it's over.

“All done sweetheart,” Matt says, dabbing a paper towel at the excess ink that surrounds the rose, cleaning it up the best he can. “What do you think?” He asks a bit nervously.

You slide out of the chair, wincing a little when you put too much weight on your leg, and limp over to the full length mirror.

“Oh wow.” You blink a few times and admire the artwork. “Matty. This… this is beautiful.” You turn to him, tears in your eyes. “I seriously can't thank you enough. I love it.”

He beams and nods. “I’m glad. Hope you don't mind the vines and thorns I added. I thought that it fit with the rose, and with you.”

“Of course I don't mind. It's your artwork. And it's just… it really is perfect Matt.”

You walk over to him and give him a hug. “And just so you know. I will never go to anyone else for a tattoo. It will always be you.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me. But I’m really glad you like it. Would you mind if I got a picture of it for my portfolio?”

“Have I ever said no to that?” You tease, wiping the tears from your eyes as you pull away from him.

“Jump back up on the chair and I’ll go grab the camera.”

You do as he says and take a deep breath.

He snaps a few quick pictures and lets you pull on some sweats.

You leave him a nice sized tip and give him one last hug before you leave, finally headed back home.

You park your bike in the garage and quietly sneak in through the back door, heading straight up to Jim’s room, knocking on the door quietly before slipping in.

“Hey. You still up?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah I’m still up,” he groans. “Been waiting on your sorry ass to get home.”

He sits up in the bed and slides back against the headboard, giving you enough room to sit down. “What the hell took you so long?”

You sit down and grin up at him. “I finally finished it.”

“Finished what?”

“The rose. The tattoo that I got the outline for like a month ago. I got it shaded today.”

His eyes widen and he looks to the door. “You’re joking right? Jack’s gonna flip when he finds out,” he whispers harshly.

“Relax,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “He’s not gonna find out. It's in a covered place and I’ll hopefully be leaving for the fleet in a few weeks. If he ever does find out it's gonna be too late.”

“I can't believe you actually got a tattoo,” Jim mumbles.

“A few actually,” you correct.

“A few?!”

“Shhh. You're gonna wake someone up.”

“How many do you have?”

“Just three, including the rose. I’ve been getting them for months now. And he's not gonna find out about them. Plus they won't show in the uniform so I won't have to worry about it being unprofessional either.”

He runs his hand through his, already messy, blond hair.

“And they call me the trouble kid,” he fumes.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It's cause you get caught and I don't,” you grin at him and kiss his cheek. “Night J. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night,” he sighs, laying back down as you head down the hall and into your own room, muttering an ‘unbelievable’ before you shut his door completely.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday