#iv been listening to Sunlight by Hozier

[charlie-dowds-migraine]

Noel had a long day at Worm Work so he takes a Nap with John

Noel's color palette and color changing fuzz is based on Gray's Charlie Color Chart, thank you @grayscale-sparks <3

This is me coping with ep52 btw if that wasn't obvious. They deserve a 16 hour long nap

<333

[crow-in-a-teapot]

unreal unearth first impressions

OKAY REALISING I AM RELISTENING TO THIS ALBUM FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME JUST TODAY ACCIDENTALLY SO IIM GONNA QUICKLY WRITE DOWN MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS BC IM ALREADY BEGINNING TO ACTUALY THINK ABOUT THINGS AND LOOK AT LYRICS AND READ OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS, so here is an only slightly tainted not quite first impression of unreal unearth from me (obviously the singls ive heard before but)

de selby (part 1) i turned on the album sitting in the absolute dark, ten minutes past twelve at night, this started playing, cue instant tears. i think i was just hit with 'this is the most beautiful thing ive ever heard' and i wasn't expecting that from de selby 1 for some reason. and when the irish kicked in that just. no words, just crying and im what two minutes in. i wasn't even thinking about what he'd been saying about connemara in the dark and mirrors of people you used to know (i'd seen him talk about it, but purposefully skipped the actual song when it came up online) it was just. de selby 1. and the part as gaeilge

de selby (part 2) sexy groovy silly fun, it's really growing on me, thinking about 'i'd still know you, not being shown you

i only need the workin' of my hands' also i cant wait to read third policeman and look at this completely differently

first time the beginning was jarring, and then at the lyric about his name i kind of :( i also liked the lethe/liffey parallel, it's so very hozier of him to do that. god the push and pull of there must have been something off from the beginning? if every time they called him baby he died? something like that was my first interpretation, now im wondering if it's because it's not his name and they're the one that made his name sound wonderful for once. intellectualising that part of the lyrics kind of ruins it for me ngl, i think it's more about how it feels, i think it feels like contrast like not knowing if it hurts or is wonderful. little detail of when he says come here to me and it sounds so casual and irish like come here to me tell me, i really love it. and the final lyric hurt. really impeccable timing for a breakup album like

francesca why can't i listen to i'd tell them put me back in it for the first time again WHY CAN'T I LISTEN TO I'D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN AND REEXPERIENCE THAT. my favourite thing from this hozier era might just be that music video (over all the other ones help)

i, carrion (icarian) is just really devastating. sunlight but what if you wanted your heart to be torn to shreds. the imagery is so vivid

eat your young is growing on me too, the lyrics are just so good. they're just SO GOOD, their rhythm is so satisfying they fit together so smoothly, and at this point it's just as fun and danceable as something like de selby 2

damage gets done is kind of pop? it made me think of the bones ft marren morris

who we are [had to remove a section here] the vocals are otherwordly. the drums are gorgeously frantic. quietly it slips through your fingers love??? falling from you drop by drop??? HOLD ME LIKE A KNIFE???makes me physically ache

son of nyx i'm so glad this is here, an instrumental was something that really could put me back to where i was mentally with de selby (part 1). first thing i thought was i can't wait to learn the piano part. i've seen people say this, but it does seem like the obvious, it's an instrumental that just belongs in a movie

all things end all things do end so real. very cool how much of a direct inflence gospel music is

to someone from a warm climate (uiscefhuarithe) i can't wait to relisten to this one again and again, the parallels between being a child warming up a bed and jumping to later in time with a lover aaaa so tender NATURAL AS ANOTHER LEG AROUND YOU IN THE BEDFRAME AAAA

butchered tongue A FAVOURITE A FAVOURITE foreigner's god but softer, how can i listen to this and ever leave ireland how can i listen to this and feel like this and be packing suitcases what is wrong with meeeeee. the violin and the instrumence. jesus christ. instantly picturing my road signs when he started singing about the native ones

anything but THIS SONG STARTED AND I INSTANTLY STARTED SMILING COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARILY, THOUGHT OF ALMOST (SWEET MUSIC) i started thinking of bright lion king imagery before he even started talking about stampedes and hoofbeats. and the vocals here too, so overwhelmed by how cheerful and joyous it sounded that i really didnt pay attention to lyrics, so it'll be cool to look deeper later

abstract (psychopomp) the production here i was very unsure about, because there was something that made me think if it were more rustic/intrumental and less modern, it might have hit me even harder, like there might have been a way to elevate it further. it made me think of colours and purples and reds and oranges, another really visual song, like i, carrion. it's really gorgeous. SEE HOW IT SHINES will be in my head for a long long time... ugh it's all so bittersweet and sad and beautiful. all my love and terror there balanced between those eyes what a line

unknown / nth if you've scrolled through my accunt for longer than a second you know how i feel about unknown / nth

first light i was hit with such intense terror that this was the last song of the album. what am i supposed to do for the next decade without music to look forward to while andrew goes back into hibernation under bray train station jean jacket lost and found or whatever. so i didnt play and instead did this musing on how beautiful the vocals throughout the album are and how funny it was in the zach sang interview when he talked about singing instead of playing instruments when recording songs because he's 'better at singing than most intruments' and his producer just wouldnt replace those voice recordings and that's why there are so many choirs and zach is basically like 'you absolute weirdo no one else has the talent to do that but ok' (affectionate) (paraphrasing). i love the drums so much. i love the strings so much too. A VOICE YOUR BODY JUMPS TO CALLING OUT YOUR NAME :(((((((((((( imagining hearing this in the 3arena and having colours break out across the whole ceiling ill remember those lights during no plan in 2019 forever im an indoor concert girlie forever what they can do visually is so magical.. i saw a good omens edit of this today already i love you good omens fans

not to sound like a broken record i wish swan upon leda and through me the flood and love of were on this and maybe even but the wages and

[osarina]

hi carina 🧘 ive recently been obsessed with listening to hozier bcs of the way u reference his music, idk if u've ever been asked this but what are ur fav songs from him ^^

oh my god jen the most impossible of impossible questions ill give u my tentative fav from each album but when i tell you it changes on the weekly, i mean it LOL

foreigner's god (this one is always in my top 3, just a matter of where it is)

first time (i was SO bummed that i didn't have the chance to use it in uu </3333 i literally mourned for days)

and either sunlight or almost (they both remind me so badly of wykyk)

WHAT ARE YOURS

[eveningserenityyy]

For the fic end of the year ask, 3, 13 and 18 ✨

I just wanna say I really enjoyed discovering your writing this year and look forward your future works ♥️

Aw 🥹 I enjoyed discovering yours just the same (and I can't wait to keep reading GOTE) and I shall always remain quite glad you decided to comment on my fic one day bc here we are 💖 💖

for 3, I have to say its pretty hard to answer because I wrote SO many scenes of which im quite proud of, and some lost to my memory for the moment, but those last few paragraphs of "Star Flower" have me on a chokehold, I will never forget it.

for 13, I tend to listen to classical music when im writing so I guess that counts? But I'd have to say Hozier- my inspiration goes through the roof thanks to a song like Sunlight (which I did write a one shot for, one ive so proud of and I think is quite beautiful).

and lastly LMAO I LOVE THIS- okay so....I was actually recently counting all the drafts I have in my folder and uh- 💀 I quit counting when I got to 55, and that was only halfway...I have a problem.

thank you for the ask 💖 💖 and im sorry I answered so late my brain has NOT been braining.

[utterly-mediocre]

A collection of letters from a lovesick and naive girl

To you, who still manages to capture my heart after all these years,

I’m not even sure if you would ever be able to read this. I’m a coward, as evident by the way I bottled up these emotions and watched you from afar for years rather than actually trying to convey to you how I feel, in real life. So here I am, compiling a collection of my thoughts- most of it coming to me at ungodly hours of the night- and hiding behind a screen. It seems I haven’t matured much at all from that first time I laid my eyes on you.

Anyway, on the incredibly rare occasion that I do somehow figure out a way to deliver this to you, I hope you take the time out of your day to read this. I’ve come to terms that I would never be anything special to you, but that still doesn’t mean that I’m not absolutely smitten over you. I’m not expecting anything to come out of this, honestly, I just want this out of my system. So don’t worry about reciprocating my feelings or anything like that, I’m perfectly fine with how things are as is.

This, I guess you could call it a letter?, would contain a little section of mini letters and each mini letter will be numbered according to a playlist. Most of the songs listed are actually what I was listening to while I was writing whatever I was thinking. You might think this is too much hassle for someone trying- emphasis on trying- to let go of their feelings and to be honest, you’re right. I’m just over dramatic. Nevertheless, I do hope you somehow are able to read this, someday.

--

;golden hour

I Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift

II Risk It All - Yuna

III I've Never Been In Love Before - Laufey

IV Love Letter From The Sea To The Shore - Delaney Bailey

VI Sunlight - Hozier

--

I Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift

“All I know is a simple name /

And everything has changed”

I don't actually remember the specifics of when I had truly fallen for you. You had crept so slowly into my heart and the depths of my mind that eventually I found that you were all that I could think of.

I used to jokingly say it was love at first sight but that isn't really true. It was more like gradually getting pulled towards you, and a sense of familiarity that I can’t quite put my finger on took root in the crevices of my soul, it’s tendril wrapped tightly around my heart. It felt as though my soul had known you before and now that I've met you again, a desperation to get close to you makes itself known with every time our eyes meet. I could feel the centre of my universe shifting slowly towards you the very moment my eyes laid on you.

I keep thinking of that one time my hand had brushed against yours and almost every night since then, I wonder what it would be like if I held your hand in mine. Would it fit perfectly? Would it feel as warm as I imagined? I find myself yearning for your presence, and my eyes would always subconsciously search for you.

It was a new and scary feeling, but it felt so, so good.

--

II Risk It All - Yuna

“I would risk it all, just to feel your touch /

I just want it all, if it ain't too much”

I've always been scared of authority figures ever since I was a young child, and I carried that throughout my life. And so, I've decided early on to not tell you my feelings. I took one look at it, and with shaking hands, I buried it to the back of my mind. Because I was so scared of the consequences. I was so scared of that omnipotent God I spent my whole life fearing. And to be completely honest, I still feel that paralyzing fear sinking deep into my bones sometimes. My heart is bursting at the seams and each time I see you around I feel like screaming out how much I wanted to be yours but I’d find that the words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

I tried everything to lose these feelings and to pretend that I'm a good, pious child. Frustratingly, nothing ever seemed to work. The more I tried to push the thoughts of you away, the more my heart craves you. It was a new sensation, and it probably is the worst pain I had ever experienced. It was as though someone had ripped my heart out, replaced it with pebbles and forced me to live normally. But it’s impossible to do so, everything reminds me of you. I couldn’t help but imagine a world where I could freely love you without any reservations. A different world where I either could be yours or find a healthier way to move on instead of mulling over what could've been if I wasn't such a spineless fool.

And yet, now I feel as though I would be able to break free from all the restrictions if it meant that I could be by your side. For you, I would gladly break the stifling rules of my religion. What’s heaven got that I can’t find by being with you anyway? I’d much rather endure the fiery pits of hell with your hand held firmly in mine.

--

III I've Never Been In Love Before - Laufey

“So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in /

I've really never been /

In love before"

Try as I might, I would never be able to fully express how deeply my feelings for you run. I could try to compare you to the stars, the ocean, the flowers, the galaxies; all of the world's wonders. I could try to compare you to a million different things but the language runs dry. Everything pales in comparison to you.

I work hard to be poetic in expressing my feelings for you anyway, but it's all too overwhelming and passionate and it's overflowing out of my chest. Not just in love but completely submerged in it, permeated by it, to the point that I find the words that I try to string together no longer make sense. You've truly enchanted me and now I'm rendered a mess.

You might find it weird. I get it. I’ll admit that it is. I don’t truly know you, only the fragments of yourself that you decide to show others. But I cling to those pieces anyway and try my best to store it in my memories, as though it would ever be of use. Because it wouldn't. I would never be yours.

--

IV Love Letter From The Sea To The Shore - Delaney Bailey

“Like the tourist comes back to the beach /

I come back to you for more and more and more”

Did you know that humans are made of stardust? Well, not quite, but it's been said that the very elements that exist in our body came from exploded stars. Which means that the atoms of my left hand may come from a different star from my right, and maybe some of the atoms that were meant to be in my body had ended up in yours.

Because, even if I somehow find it in myself to not think of you anymore and so much time has passed, a part of me will forever be yours. At this point in time, I have no true desire to pursue you since I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m just not meant to be yours a long time ago. However, I still find that my mind keeps coming back to you. Every train of thought that I have, even if it initially didn’t have anything to do with you, would inevitably lead me to think of you. Everything that I know about you (though it's not much, I'd admit that) is carved into my brain and I have no way of getting it out. I think of you so endlessly that I feel as though the last star in the universe might fizzle out and die before I can even begin to try to forget you. It’s honestly corny but it’s true. You will forever be in the forefront of my mind.

--

V Sunlight - Hozier

“Know that I would gladly be /

The Icarus to your certainty /

Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight"

Once, on a particularly lazy afternoon, my mother showed me a video completely unprompted. We were laying on the living room rug then, and I was about to doze off while watching the television but instead she thrusted her phone into my face, playing a video of a couple getting whipped and punished and I could feel myself freeze. I was laying so close to her then, our shoulders almost touching. I remember the disgust, both for myself and for the policemen punishing them, coiling tighter and tighter in my stomach that I could barely hold myself together. I waited a few hours until my mother decided to take her nap before running and emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl.

I do wonder, though. Would God really have condemned those who commit sodomy if he were put in my shoes and saw just how divine you looked with the sunlight perfectly framing your silhouette, forming an almost golden halo above your head with your smile as blinding as the sun? Would he not understand at that very moment why I had spent so many years adoring you in secret when the thought of actually accepting that part of myself made me feel nauseated? But even if he didn't, does it matter? Heaven and hell are mere words to me now. If I wanted to find something to devote my faith to, shouldn't I devote it to you instead? It feels more religious, rather than devoting myself to a God who had claimed to create me, all the while condemning me for something I can no more control than I can control my heartbeat.

--

[academiadump]

All that I had seen before, was something I already knew. But your love struck me, as the sun's first rays at dawn. The sudden warmth of your radiance consumed me almost instantly. Overpowered me without much warning. But I would have allowed it even if it had.

I would bathe in it until my skin ached, I would stare until it drove me blind. You ruined me but I kept coming back. And all of a sudden I understood Icarus, how gladly I’d meet the sea for you to know me too.

[choke-holdxx]

YOU ARE ALL SLEEPING ON 'SUNLIGHT' AND ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR IT.

In the essay I will....

[envykilled]

im gonna uhhh watch the new ep of l/egacies & then be here hehe (~:

[denfucker]

10 songs ive been listening to lately!

thank you for the tag @sunnytastic :3

1. this song is too good im obsessed with it !! i listen to it every morning

2. found this song on youtube and i rly enjoy it, the video is so fun

3. im insane actually :3

4. the vibes r so good !!!!

5. i love lovejoy and i love their songs and this is the one ive been listening to the most recently !

6. REMEMBERING HIM COMES IN FLASHBACKS AND ECHOES TELL MYSELF ITS TIME NOW GOTTA LET GOOOOOO unironically started listening to this even more when i saw a macdennis edit of it

7. i love will wood i listen to at least one of his songs every month :3 this is the latest one ive been listening to

8. live laugh love txt this song gets me in a good angsty mood

9. this one is very vibey and fun !

10. very catchy and i love the chorus ive been listening to this a lot :3

tagging @mcdens @pollencoveredman @miss-morland @ricketycr1cks @ratcoffin69 and anyone else who wants to do this!! take this post as a free tag to do it too :3

[asimawv]

I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)

Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.

1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy

If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.

You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood

The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)

2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos

By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.

There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.

3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!

This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.

Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.

It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.

It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.

More under the cut:

4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel

This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money

This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.

5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)

This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.) 

It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.

We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days

6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha

Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It’s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.

There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time

7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay

You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.

Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world

Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.

8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)

Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains

This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.

9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons

I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style. 

Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow

10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons

Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people’s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.

11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier

There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.

12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier

‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.

13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier

A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.

14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier

The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.

I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight

15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier

The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.

Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men

Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.

We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go

In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.

17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men

Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.

If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them

18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men

My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men

Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.

20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men

Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.

You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it

21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid

This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.

22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid

‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face

23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)

Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.

Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?

24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid

Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.

Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid

Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.

Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk

A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.

Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out

27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde

Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature

28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors

More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.

Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches

29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine

This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.

You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.

Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

_____

Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[saintinblack]

you’re beautiful at 3 am when im snorting speed with the pace of somebody twice my size and we’re drawing in uv reflective markers in blacklight and listening to cultured bg rap and i give you your pills asking you to sleep and you push me away saying “i sleep when i want to” and i stare at you pretending to have my eyes closed

you’re beautiful at 6 pm when im sipping vodka soda in the golden sunlight and you’re playing hozier’s angel of small death and the codeine scene without knowing ive been calling you that for weeks now and you’re staring at yourself in the mirror while your cat’s purring between my thighs 

and the playlist decides we have to hear that “they say he changes when the sun goes down” arctic monkeys track

im a ghost around here

im a ghost in your apartament

i only exist to stare at your beauty

im only human when we’re circling bars and clubs and strange apartaments

[lamatisse]

about me tag

thank you so much for tagging me @mandy-sims !! (´･ᴗ･ ` )

favorite colour: i really like any shade of beige!

last song i listened to: we stayed up all night // tourist, ardyn

favorite musician(s): i havent been listening to like specific ones lately, but ive been a fan of the lighthouse and the whaler for a long time. i also like gregory alan isakov, billie marten, harry styles, hozier, novo amor, and lorde!

last film i watched: oh god i dont remember. i think the last one i watched where i actually sat down and chose to watch is the old guard!

last tv show i watched: peaky blinders!

sweet, savoury or spicy? savory!

bubbly water, tea, or coffee? coffee!

pets: i want a cat and dog so bad but im allergic ;-;

i suck at actually doing tags because i always forget about them lmao feel free to not do this especially if you already got tagged!!

I would like to know you better @sunlight-reversal @mariiseol @caelhinn @squeamishsims @insimnia @oakiyo <3

[staggeringsmite]

HOME, AGAIN: a vang0chainz/burgerbang0 playlist ( listen )

tracklist + explanations under the cut !

i. i dreamt we spoke again - death cab for cutie: this one is mostly taken upon the idea that the two knew each other before vang0 lost his memory; as is a lot of the narrative of the playlist. essentially, burger missing vang0 before he finds him again. however, could also represent the general feeling of knowing someone you click well with even if you’ve never met them before. either a realistic or metaphorical sense of deja vu and angst. ii. 22 (over soon) - bon iver: yet, again on the principle that burger knew vang0 before, this track represents the divide that he has to cope with once he finds hims. not on that principle, it’s essentially the divide that exists between two very jaded people living in night city who are beginning to develop a sense of caring for the other but cannot discern what is real and what is for survival; although it is real for the both of them. it’s definitely on the principle that in night city, all life is short, and as the title and lyrics suggest: this could all be over soon. for burger that means cherish it. for vang0 that means don’t get attached. iii. liability - lorde: first real vang0 perspective track on the mix, in which he struggles with what intense insecurity exists behind his missing memories. iv. simple pleasures - jake bugg: yet again a point for vang0 trying to cope with being a person in night city coupled with those missing memories, attempting to decipher why someone like burgerchainz could genuinely want him around and questioning everything from burger’s kindness to his own personal fear of accepting himself and allowing himself to have nice things. v. futile devices - sufjan stevens: i’d like to call this one “entering the mutual pining zone”; while burger has been feeling for vang0 since the beginning, this is the song where vang0 is finally going to allow himself to have something nice and accepts that he has feelings for burger--except, not. why would he do that? what if he ruins it? what happened to not getting attached? he’s just going to sleep on burger’s couch and try not to let him catch him staring. everything’s fine. it’s fine. vi. stranger - amber run: this song is the catalyst. they both kind of know, but they’re still too afraid to move. maybe one of them nearly died, and it hit them at the same time once again how short and simple and meaningless life can be in night city--that if you’re going to life fast, maybe that should apply to love too. whatever event happened to clue them in that this is very real between them, it happens to this track.  vii. clouds - borns: some of the lyrics throughout really reminded me of my burgerchainz concept post in which his memory is shit but in an endearing way, but this is definitely a burger track. in fact, it’s the burger track. the one where he decides he’s gonna bite the bullet and say something in very burger fashion about this whole love thing that’s been realized in track seven. viii. heartlines - florence and the machine: burger says what’s on his mind, and this time vang0′s inhibitions are met with the wholly invigorating concept that no matter what came before his memories, he is in control now. this is his life, and he is entirely allowed to make the choice to kiss his hunky metal-jawed boyfriend. x. good at loving you - mother mother: through the course of this ordeal, it was a damn good idea to exit the mutual pining zone. xi. sunlight - hozier: it’s hozier. it’s sweet. everything’s okay. that’s it. that’s the whole explanation. thanks for listening, bud.

[captmarble]

ive been tagged by @boyxafraid for this little challenge!

rules: list ten songs you’ve been listening to a lot lately and tag ten people

maniac—conan gray

to noise making (sing)—hozier

whoever you love, i'm cool —jeffe

10-20-40—rina sawayama

cover me in roses—holden laurence

lights up—harry styles

sunlight—hozier

hey you got drugs?—tove lo

anybody else—dom fera

forever—labrinth

& i tag @piperbillie @kiarayikes @jonzzfi @starkinbound @lipstick-lesbienne @ghostmontygreen @richiebabyy @eddiediaz-buckley @henclair @agent-jacobs

[heesgf]

soulful. byounggon demon! au

in which lee byounggon is covered in darkness, and your beacon of light.          

plot:  lee byounggon is a warm blooded demon that yearns for a cure. will love pave his journey to mortality?                                                                                

word count: 3k                                                                                           

pairing: demon! lee byounggon x reader                                                          

warnings: dark themes, fantasy, angst & fluff, i listened to a lot of hozier skks

a/n: hihi bbys!!! so this is definitely different from the things ive written previously, but i hope you will enjoy it nonetheless😽💖 the beginning is a little slow bc of the descriptions but it picks up in the second part, i promise!! i hope you’ll give it a shot bc i wrote this with my heart and soul :’) pls read as an early birthday gift to your least favourite gon stan mwah!! and feedback is always appreciated <3

part one: moonlight.

The taste of his lips lingers in the back of your throat.

       An itching warmth. Like the caress of his fingers at the small of your back, like the brush of his nose against your cheek. It swells, and fosters, ferments almost, and at one point it feels like you’re breathing formaldehyde—the sharp stroke of his tooth against your bottom lip is piercing, and the jerk of his tongue unconventionally sweet—you fall into him every time, heavy breathing, lungs shattering.

That’s the second time you think he’s anything but wicked.

The first had been months before.

         You realize it’s still fresh in your memory. On chilly Sunday mornings, on rampant Thursday nights, when your head throbs with emotion, or sulks with ample nothingness, you still remember him in that moment—legs crossed cleanly on an abandoned park bench and his forehead perched in the palms of his hands; eyes shut, fists clenched.

You remember the hesitation.

          The eerie brush of summer rain against your skin, the way it seemed to stick and thicken, wrap around you and constrict. The blossoming tension at the heels of your feet, one stop short of swallowing you deep into the ground and growing ruthlessly over your body in heaps of seaweed green. And lastly, the sputtering of your own fingertips, the subtle husk of your voice; now, you realize, creeping intuition.

In the moment, blinding thrill.

         Against the darkness of his tall silhouette, you remember the moon gleaming in panels of incandescent blue, flashing in and out, mischievously—like it knew something you didn’t, like it was keeping a secret.

          It’s the first touch of your hand against his shoulder that brings back the richest memory. Unlike whispered folklore, the brush of his skin is not a frosty chill, but rather an earthy and vehement heat. Chills don’t run down the planes of your wrist, but there’s a need to keep going, keep touching, an addiction.

“Are you okay?” The words still ring in your ears.  The tilting of his head, up toward the sky, still imprinted in your brain; a hazy blue alongside the smooth curve of his jaw, the soft stretch of his neck.

The ring of crimson around his pupils is answer enough.

But he smiles anyway.

 part two: demolition.

 There’s a fragility in his movement that speaks to your wandering mind.

          He is not, you realize, the serpentine felon with winding tongue, enchanting words, cunning gaze. He is not the bite of a ferocious maw, or the sear of freshly sharpened talons; no, no he is not. He is not the unquenched thirst for sparkling life, nor is he the sadist, that who blossoms at the sound of their cries, bathes in the sweat of their pain, basks in the light of their drowning souls—no, no he is not.

        He is soft walking in quiet halls, lowered head and hands clasped behind his back, he is solemn and pensive and pure; intricate. The lick of his tongue against his plush lips is not a sign of fair warning, of danger, but rather an invitation. It calls out in breathless silence, calls out to you.

        There is a fragility in his movement that speaks to your wandering mind; makes you want to climb into his skin, explore his layers, feel and feel and feel, and understand.

He swears that makes it worse.

You know that makes it better.

***

Sometimes he can’t say the word out loud.

          It’s etched into his identity like somber puppet to taut strings, and yet, there’s a gurgle of pain behind each stressed syllable. He says it with an air of guilt.

Demon.

You wonder if the word haunts him the same way it does you.

         When you can’t escape the wrath of sleepless nights, the word winds into your ears when you least expect it. It wraps its reptilian arms around the base of your wrists, stares deeply into the depths of your mind, probes, with its beady eyes, sometimes spits at the sight of your affections. Most times you’re unfazed.

You can’t say the same for him.

          There’s a hole in his conscience. In your eyes, a blessing, in his eyes, a curse—it is the creator of his woe and the benefactor of his self loathing. When you tell him you love him, there’s a pinched crinkle in his eyes and a curve at the corner of his lips, but something’s missing. He’s moved, you’re sure of it; although sometimes you can’t help but wonder how deeply the word travels, if it’s strong enough.

Stronger than the word that hulls on his back like strips of dried asphalt.

You’d said it once.

 “You can’t love anybody if you don’t love yourself first.”

          He’s sat limply over your crossed legs, body draped up over your abdomen, and head resting gently on the plane of your chest. You run a stray finger through his hair, grit your teeth while you wait, wiggle your toes in anticipation.

“Who says that?”

You shrug. “Just about the whole world.”

         There’s a part of you that regrets your doubt, and another that craves earnestly for his response. Your hand is now running over the high peaks of his cheekbones, and that’s when his long fingers curve snugly around your bare wrist, just like that word. He pushes his head backward; tilts up until strands of his hair tickle your neck, until his eyes are looking up at yours, which now fixate squarely on the ring of red around his pupils.

“Not quite.” He murmurs, the hint of a smile. Then brings your wrist up to his lips, places a chaste kiss, and folds back into your outstretched arms.

 Sometimes he can’t say the word out loud.

You decide you love him anyway.

***

Before demon, he is simply Lee Byounggon.

          You breathe that mantra into his ear like it’s your last gasp of fresh air, like the world around you is devoid of oxygen, like he listens. More often though, he’s slumped over with a crooked frown and chasing the limits of your reaffirmations. He swears he is bad, and yet, you promise you’ve never seen such good.

There’s one moment you think he’s the ultimate paradox.

          Land stretches in plains of fresh greenery, and as you walk side by side, down paths of blossoming orchards, spindling vines, you realize the park is rich, but the soft gleam of the sun against his skin is richer. By now, you’re staring at the rounding of his eyes, now closing in on something in the distance. When you squint, you can barely make it out; a wounded bird.

In seconds, he lurches forward.

            He pulls away from your touch and kneels onto the ground, cradling the bird into his scarred palms, and his brows tinge in concern. You call it empathy. He calls it obligation. You bury your head into his side and watch, as with the brush of a finger, he mends its limp wings.

The bird flies away in a glimmer of shimmering sunlight.

 “It’s an evil you can’t see.” He says to you later. “Ingrained.”

          Your head rests in the opening of his lap, while his fingers swipe fondly over your forehead. Your hand is raised as to block his face from the sun, and when you meet his eyes, you flutter your lashes, bare him an inquisitive glance.

“Humans aren’t inherently evil.”

He stares. “I’m not human.”

You purse your lips.

         Then you move your hand. You watch as the sunlight floods onto his face, a myriad of supple gold; his eyes squint at the out-pour, his forehead pinches in surprise. You smile to yourself.

So human.

“Are you sure about that?”

***

“Potential is not an action.” You say sternly.

          This time, the two of you are trailing home. His hands are clasped in yours, and he jerks backwards when you stop in place, turning toward the brick wall of the alleyway alongside the sidewalk.

“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you will.”

          His eyebrows knit and his nose scrunches together; he’s puzzled, you know it, and his confusion grows tenfold when you push his body up against the wall, wrap your hands around his wrists and clamp them against red bricks. You’re standing up on your tippy toes, your body pressed against his, his mouth wide, eyes wider.

“For example.” The breath you release fans over his face. He’s grinning now, still mildly confused, but amused nonetheless.

“Potentially.” You whisper, so close, your nose brushes the warmth of his cheek. If you move a blink closer, you think you can taste his lips. He’s still watching you.

“—I could kiss you right now.”

His breath hitches.

            You release your toes from their perched position, and hop flat onto your feet, your face away from his; his stained as red as the brick wall behind you.

“But I won’t.” You smirk.

His gaze travels once over your body, lingers on your lips, and then he lets out a soft chuckle.

He inches closer. “Lesson learned.”

Then he kisses you.

 part three: yearning.

         Sometimes it’s hard to believe the words that come out of Byounggon’s mouth. His tales of self deprecation, the intricacy of his deepest flaws. He claims that he is bad by nature, and yet, in every waking moment, he seems to prove the exact opposite—it’s in that moment. It’s in that moment when you think he might be an angel, that you skim the surface. It’s in that moment, when you don’t just swear he’s good, you know it, that you get your first real taste of the way at which he suffers.

It’s in that moment the darkness escapes.

***

He claims you haven’t truly seen him until you’ve seen him change.

           By the time you’ve walked into the room, his forehead, like the moment you first met, is buried in the face of his palms. His breath heaves into the skin, and when he releases, you can almost hear the soft purr of a growl. You can’t tell if it’s a trick of the ear, or the lucid glow of his eyes that facilitates the echo.

            You’re rushing toward him, and instantly, he backs away. Hands clamped over his face, and head tilted down toward the floor, he shakes his head over, and over, and over.

You force your hand onto his jaw and tilt upwards.

“Look at me.” You’re begging.

          When he does, there’s a hazy spot in the back of your mind that suddenly comes to a clearance, understands the heft of his warnings.

          The rings of gentle red that surround his pupils are now a harsh and piercing burgundy, it trickles in the whites of his eyes like blood to smooth alabaster, and again, he heaves; this time, the crown of pointed teeth are exposed, a sparkling and fatal ivory. And still, on his face, are those trembling hands—as he holds them in place, you can see the expansion of his veins— they are dark, engorged, and it’s in that moment, you realize he bleeds black.

“This is the real me.” He chokes out. “Heartless.”

          Against every scream of intuition, every string of logic, morality, you choose neither fight or flight, and instead, wrap your hands around his neck, and pull him soundly against your body. Your hands cup the tensed rounds of his cheeks, and then retreat around his waist. You know he’s crying when the shirt of your camisole thins and sticks firmly to your chest; you can feel the dampness against your heart, the fluttering of his eyelashes, his clasped eyes on your bare skin.

“I know the real you.”

You place your hand where his heart should be, where you swear that it is.

“I can feel it.”

He claims you haven’t truly seen him until you’ve seen him change. You think he might be right.

***

“How long?”

          You swallow hard. There’s a stiffness on the end of your tongue; it’s smoky, like charcoal, a slow and painful burn. You’re staring blankly at his side, and he, down at the floor.

“I-I don’t know.” He admits. A vulnerability you’ve never seen. Desire. “I haven’t tried it before.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

          You’re guilty the second the words burst out your lips, but you can’t help it. The darkness that consumes him is relative. He thinks he is deep rooted trauma, bolstering evil, clouds of ink grey—you think he’s the North Star. He may be surrounded by darkness, but you swear that he isn’t, much rather radiant, cosmic, heavenly; he is your guidance on lonely nights, your guardian angel.

“It’s a cure.” You can feel his pain in the back of your throat. “It’s our only option, Y/N.”

You blink. Look away. Then you peer back at him, face sullen.

“You say that like you’re sick.”

He pauses for a moment. “Aren’t I?”

 It’s your breaking point.

          The point at which you push yourself toward him, wrap hands around his neck, pull his lips down onto yours, and press harder than you think you should. His hands are just as quick, on the cusp of your jaw, on the peak of your navel, on the stretch of skin just above your ear. He’s whispering something, but you can’t make it out, your mind cloudy and your body enraptured. His fingers tap at the arch of your back and it might be the only thing that keeps you from falling apart; you’re still kissing. When he drags his lips away from yours, in that way that’s far too melancholic, far too real, you start to understand the depth of his words. He lies in your arms.

           These are the few minutes of quiet you spend together, overwhelmed by each other’s silence, the unwillingness to say the words you need to, that you want to. You don’t sleep. Neither does he. But when morning breathes into the room, in gusts of sporadic blue, he’s the first one to speak.

“I’ll see you again.” Into the nape of your neck. “I love you.”

Those are the last things he says.

Then he’s gone with the cruel surge of the wind.

***

He likes to visit you in your dreams.

          His presence is subtle. The caress of his hands over your cheek, the ghost of his lips on your forehead. There are times when you’re inclined to touch him back; run your fingers through his hair, your lips over his jaw, your face in his neck—although most instances you think it’s best to refrain.

           When he sneaks into your room, eyes wide and heart thumping, you waste no time. He stands before you in a cloud of shadows, but his eyes, like always, are a sparkling crystal clear. His hair messily falls onto his forehead and his lips, devilishly plump, scream at you. The growing pool of anticipation in the pits of your stomach bubbles over on itself, and you lurch forward with every intent of kissing him. The moment your hands make contact with his fiery skin, the moment your dry lips skim the surface of his, desperately, he disintegrates before you like shards of shattered glass.

Time and time again, you realize he is only but a mirage. It is both celestial heaven and cavernous hell.

         You know there’s nothing more you’d like to do than fall into his touch, let yourself remember him in every way that you crave. Sometimes you wish you could click your heels three times and find yourself flush in his arms.

Other times, a little more cynical.

         You think you might be better off purging your mind and body of him—washing down his kisses in liquid sorrow, rinsing away his touch in autumn showers, and dousing off your mind of his final words; those words that still haunt you on sleepless nights.

 You think you might be better off purging your mind and body of him—but you seem to fail every time.

It’s like he’s stuck in your teeth.

part four: sunshine.

The sun rises in the east when you feel a pull in the pits of your stomach.

          The pressure builds as you walk, and slowly releases as you move closer to the centre of your town, toward the park just across the street.

It is not hesitation, much rather magnetic.

          You can feel the sharp gusts of wind behind you, the way it lulls you forward, guides your movement. Alongside the smooth swaying of tall oak trees, like large and welcoming hands, beckoning you toward the centre; it’s electrifying.

Against blinding rays of light is how you first see him.

          The sunshine gleams in panels of luminescent yellow, flashing in and out, candidly—like it knows something you don’t, like it’s telling a secret.

“A-are you okay?” Those are the first words that spill from your lips, but you don’t feel them. He sits with his legs crossed cleanly on an abandoned park bench, forehead perched in the palms of his hands, hair like honey, and skin like the sun’s very own. A part of you wishes you could reach out and touch it, then you’d know for sure. 

He looks up at you.

Squints a single eye. Then furrows a brow.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.” He breathes. “Do I know you?”

         There’s a sudden clench of your teeth and a rampant beat in your chest, it feels like you’re running out of air; somehow, you’re smiling.

You shake your head softly. “No. No you don’t.”

       You think you should turn around. But every ounce of your body screams at his presence, here, finally here.

“I’m Byounggon.” He outstretches a hand, and it’s now that you notice the deep brown of his eyes, the absence of red, your eyes widen.

Your hand touches his; an earthly and vehement heat. Suddenly he looks at you in pure elation.

“I’m—,”

“Y/N.” He finishes, eyes glossing over.

Then he kisses you.

end.

a/n: in case it was hard to understand, he remembers mc in the end! if you’ve made it this far, i just want to say that i love u so much! and im so thankful for ur support!! i know this wasn’t the most exciting piece, but i love the concept and im a sucker for emotionally driven dialogue + description. i esp like the mirroring hehe. anyways I LOVE U!!! have an amazing day and feedback is always appreciated. ❤️