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carnationcreation · 3 years ago

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Ranks (Dustin Brooks x reader)

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Request: @pezzbosch We like semi-sad fics here, so obviously Dustin trying to cheer his crush up when he notices something is wrong :)

Prompt/summary: Dustin notices his sparring partner is very upset

Word Count: 1,172

Authors note: I deviated slightly mostly because I’d been talking about writing this imagine idea for a while, I hope you don’t mind :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t stand him.

The cocky headstrong Earth ninja somehow always got paired up with me for our sparring test.

No one understood why I hated him, but after years of studying and training as hard as I could, somehow I was always under his shadow. And for what? Because he was funny? Because he could light up a room? Because he was handsome and-

I’m stopping myself there.

Today is the day I waited for all term. Class ranks. If I made it into the top five then I could become a student teacher and start teaching the younger classes with Sensei. The listings would be posted after lunch so when I finished eating I rushed to the dojo to read off the list.

Earth Ninjas:

I scanned down the list searching for my name only to feel my heart drop.

5. Dustin Brooks

6. (Y/n) (Y/l/n)

I held back tears as I stomped down the path and to the gate of the academy. Maybe it was best I skipped training today, it wouldn’t affect anything anyways.

The gates opened allowing the late students entrance and I managed to slip out unnoticed.

At least unnoticed to most, the last person I wanted to see today somehow saw me leaving.

“(Y/n)? Where are you going? Class is about to start.”

I tightened my grip on my bag and quickened my pace.

“(Y/n)” Dustin yelled, running to catch up to me on the trail, “Yo we gotta head back. Sensei’s gonna be pissed if we miss our sparring test.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Come on I can’t do my test if my partners not there-”

I spun on my heel coming face to face with him, “Can you just leave me alone?”

Dustin stared at me wide eyed. I wiped the tears from my face as I turned back down the path.

“Wait, what are you upset about?” He called after me.

I sighed, “Nothing you should concern yourself with.”

Dustin jogged in front of me stopping me in my tracks, “You’re totally upset about something. You never miss class, ever.”

“Yeah but somehow I still scored lower than you,” I snapped. I winced at my tone.

“What are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes, “Class ranks.”

“Dude,” Dustin laughed, “I didn’t even know people paid attention to those.”

“Well some do,” I snapped, how could he be laughing at this? “If I had stayed in the top five I would’ve had the chance to become a student teacher. Maybe even get the opportunity to teach at the academy after I graduated, but somehow you passed me and got a higher score. Now definitely won’t get to.”

I shoved past him to continue down the trail.

“Woah woah woah, what are you saying? I somehow got fifth place?”

I nodded, wiping another tear from my face as I kept walking.

“How's that possible?” He said, “You totally kicked my butt last week during our spar.”

“You tell me.” I sniffled.

“Listen I’m sorry I ruined your master plan for graduation, but I honestly don’t even know how I scored high.”

I rolled my eyes.

Once again Dustin jogged in front of me to stop me, “Maybe if you talked a little more instead of just taking directions or something-”

“I don’t even wanna hear it Dustin! I put so much time and effort into studying for you to pass me even though you almost never show up! It’s so not fair.”

Dustin winced at my outburst backing up a few steps, “Maybe if we just head back and talk to Sensei-”

“Sensei is the one who makes the class ranks Dustin, I doubt he made a mistake. People just seem to like you more with your funny little jokes and your cute smirk-”

“Cute?”

I huffed, “Please just let me head home. Go do your stupid sparring test without me.”

“Kinda can’t, you’re my partner,” he said.

I growled feeling an ache start to form in my head from trying to stop myself from crying. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but with a throw of my arms the ground seemed to do my bidding. Dustin yelped as he was sunk into the ground up to his waist.

“Hey, watch the suit!”

I rolled my eyes before extending a hand out to him to help him out of the ground.

“Dude, you seriously got skills.”

“Maybe it's because I show up to classes and study,” I said, I swiped at the dirt that covered his uniform, the same black and yellow robes that I wore.

Dustin grabbed the bag that had fallen off my arm to the ground and started back up the path, “And you won’t get any higher in rank if you don’t come take the test!”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine. But you’re going down.”

_____

I took a deep breath pulling the hood over my head and face, the warmth of my breath making my cheeks warm against the fabric.

Sensei stood to the side of the mat as Dustin and I faced each other to bow.

“Begin.”

I had to say, Dustin was a good fighter. But he focused too much on strength and never enough on skill or speed.

Dodging his punches and jabs were easy but when he did hit he hit hard. A quick uppercut to my stomach left me breathless and not in the sappy romantic way. I managed to grab his arm and twisted it around flipping him onto his back, he swiped at my feet but like I did earlier I threw my arm down towards the earth and disappeared into the ground below us.

Dustin looked around confused as I popped up behind him taking his feet out from under him and pinning his chest to the ground.

“Well done,” we heard Sensei say. I helped Dustin to his feet before we bowed to each other then to our Sensei.

“I must say you two are quite the duo, perhaps a duo that can be beneficial to the younger student joining the academy,” he smiled.

“You want us to teach?” Dustin asked.

Sensei nodded, “Starting next week you will help the newest students learn the basics of the Wind Ninja Academy. I look forward to seeing your progress.”

He bowed to us once again and we returned the favor before turning back to one another.

“You did it!” Dustin cheered, giving me a high five.

“I thought he only took the top five students?” I questioned.

He shrugged, “Maybe it’s not based on rank.”

I shrugged, “So, what are you thinking about doing on Monday?’

“Nothing other than work,” he said, “What are you thinking?”

“We need to prepare for our first class,” I smiled.

“Like a date?” he smirked.

I shrugged, “Only if you want it to be.”

“Oh then it definitely can be,” he smiled.

He threw an arm around my shoulder walking back down the path we had earlier, only this time it was all smiles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*If you signed up for my taglist but don’t see your name please message me!

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @hemmingsness @BookFrog242 @Itz-jas @smol-book-nerd @thewifeofhades @igotissuesmister @carnations-red @disgustedchild @23victoria @american-sataness

#power rangers #power rangers imagine #power rangers ninja storm #power rangers ninja storm imagine #dustin brooks #dustin brooks imagine #dustin brooks x reader #mmpr #Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

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transexualbutchfagdyke · 2 years ago

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anxiety and rsd is kicking in and I'm afraid my boyfriend is losing interest in me. which is mostly unfounded and probably pretty stupid. but my brain is always like "hey you have this thing that's going well in your life. well itz probably not actually going that well. here's what could be wrong w it actually. it's not a good thing its gonna break its gonna crumble" and uh. idk. every relationship, every friendship I have. I'm constantly thinking thst the other person doesn't like me ans thinks I'm annoying and us gonna leave me soon. christ sorry I can usually shove these thoughts aside I'll be fine. i gotta finish the dishes

#ratt squeaks

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windows-kinhelp · 2 years ago

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Kurt !!

Intro ~

Hiya! I’m mod Kurt I use he/him + neos, and I’m yer mod to go to for anything gore/horror related!

Req types !!

Shufflemancies

Stimboards

Doodles

Pendulum readings

Headcanons (mainly stim headcanons but I’m ok with anything else)

Neopronouns

Names/Users

Pfps // Banners // Post dividers

Playlists

ps. im a silly little mobile user and my mood/stimboards will look different then usual (soz :/)

Sources ~

Spree

Dsmp / Osmp

Empires smp (season 1 and 2)

All the “Life” series (afterlife, double life, third life etc.)

Hermitcraft (season 7+)

The Mandela catalog

Rick and Morty

Anything analog horror / horror in general

Stranger Things

Bursonas

Mcyt in general

Slashers

Undertail

Marvel

Childhood cartoons (Adventure time, MLP, gravity falls etc.)

FNAF (all games - none of the books)

General aesthetics

General otherkin

I’m fine with mostly any source (and can research if i must) but these will be what im best at for headcanons and neos :)

Blacklist !

Anything P0ppytwt or s3xul1zing minors in general

Yhs - never seen it and know people have a bad history with it

Really just dont be suuper problematic and idc

Other ~

While I do love everything creepy crawly and scary, I do still LOVE punk style, webcore, ghosts, fluffy things, and helping others! So despite my spOoOkey demeanour don’t be afraid to reach out - my dms on discord (KurtsWorld#9696) are always open for friends or foes - if you need to vent I’m ya guy. My sign off is #Itz Kurts World!

#Itz Kurts World!

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kinniecornerhell · 4 years ago

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Hi!! I’m toko and this is just a blog 4 helping out fellow kinniez! about me: im neongender and creaturegender! (it/its 4 creaturegender and neo/neonz 4 neongender) but if ur not comfortable with neopronounz then he/him is fine!! i draw, my main blog is davemillerspoopsock and i mostly do danganronpa and hlvrai. it waz originally supposed to be a fnaf blog but now itz like a blog 4 like 7 fandomz fjkfjjkgf what i can do currently (will be updated soon): moodboardz, edited iconz 4 pfpz art memez pride iconz what i cant do currently (still figuring out how to do): stimboardz kinnie kitz the fandomz that im currently doing: danganronpa dialtown dsaf hlvrai among us btd fnaf undertale (i’ll still do it even if itz an au!! :^) ) Do not interact if: -Racist -Sexist -Homophobic -Lesbophobic -Biphobic -Panphobic -Aphobic -Transphobic -Enbyphobic -Queerphobic -Islamophobic -Antisemitic -TERF, SWERF, Radfem, transmisogynist -Transmedicalist/Truscum -Nazis/Fascists/Anti ANTIFA -Anti BLM/Pro All Lives Matter -MAP/NOMAP/PEAR/MAP supporters. MAP MEANS PEDOPHILE. -Fujoshi/Fetishizers of queer people -DDLG/ddlg supporters -Gacha Heat users (ghkjfh stole this from a server im in, srry myles)

#toko pees #moodboards #kin help #kinnie #fandoms #danganronpa #dialtown #dsaf #hlvrai #among us #btd #fnaf #undertale

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t-underneaththeradardancing · 6 years ago

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so a quick post mortem - wat kinda whine do u serve w dat - its late ish - i gess depending on perspective so if i wuz drinkin which im not - a red maybe a burgundy but im not a whine snob - wait maybe burgundy a breakfast thing - bob sing bout going to the harder they come stuff soon after - a friend quit drinking - idk if they alcoholic aint my call - thatz half the rees on i played - they wuz gonna sing wo a geetar - even tho back up still nervous - wtf grab the house guitar - sit on the edge of the stage (more bout that later) - tuning ? we dont need no stinking badges - i trust the guitar it was in tune more or less a few minutes b4 - i went outside after to grab a smoke and moongaze - every 15 min or so all evening - anywaze i play fine i guess - knowing it dont really matter as long as awful avoided - and a singer i played w 1 time a few months ago asks if i remember - promise to back her up “anytime” - she dont know a thing bout my injuries or depression - has a demo sorta cant make out much outside on a fone a copy of a copy - a promise iz a promise - i grab the guitar and back outside - i hatz playing outside - and the strap is missing - imma kneeling on the ground playing - just a few minutes - find a key after a false start - she tells me more or less wat she lookin for hearing in her head - i assure her and the back up singer everything b ok - a bit later we play - rehearsing sorta thru the sound check - john lee hooker on the speakers - i trance like a mf - at one point she tap my shoulder - she need eye contact for a minute - i dont no if she want me solo or wat - im mostly layin down a rhythm - i lay it down even harder and a group trance i believin happens - next thing i know im getting cues she thinks the song is over - oh yah - about the later - this time i got on stage - not quite 2 feet offa ground - therz nothin to hold onto - leg buckle and i lurch - stumble and recover - imma stick to sitting on the edge for a while - almost a month since last performance - didnt really plan on play tonight - but i did - itz after midnite now - im ok - hard sometime to put one foot in front of the other it sound so ez - going forward slowly healing

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manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years ago

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Gormless Ch. 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it. They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it. Are they hiding something????? There’s an active shooter in the castle no one cares about and LeFoux is unconscious because of it.

If the title didn’t give it away TW: sexual assault.

Chapter 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

Okay so we start with a lot of needless explanation of who’s there for the mummy unwrapping party. Alexia’s real sad LeFoux can’t be there, cause she’s been shot and is just I PRESUME bleeding out in a high-back velvet chair right now.

Alexia describes the ceremony as being unnerving to her. The mummy’s wrappings have the broken Ankh symbol so the body is obviously the source of the humanization thing. Can we just get to that point?

We take a random detour for Alexia to explain that, despite the church employing Soulless people to fight Supernatural people, the church says that there’s no way for a Soulless to get to heaven. ….Are you fucking kidding me? Are we talking about the same church that used to sell get-out-of-hell free cards? They’re not going to throw some bullshit out there like, “Soulless can’t go to heaven….unlessssssssssss they fill out a Supernatrual murder card! It can be redeemed for a free salvation or small ice cream!” Have religious groups exploited groups they look down upon? Of course! But why didn’t they go the other way? Why are they not TOUCHED BY GOD hence why they can naturally purge the big evil Supernaturals? Cause persecution complex is why! WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS RACISM PARTY? IT’S NOT GOING TO BE RELEVANT IN THIS STORY AT ALL IS IT?

FUCK!

So Ivy and Felicity faint while watching this. Alexia talks more about how unnerved she is by the mummy and when she leaves the room Ivy is awake and she playing some downright epic tonsil hockey with Tunstell in front of everybody. This comes totally out of left field by the way, there’s no explanation for it like lol cpr or “I WAS SCARED SEEING YOU FAINTED! OH GOLLY I SURE DO LOVE THE HECKUMS OUT OF YOU.” But hell I guess we gotta wrap up this shitty plot point. Alexia, whomst, never has had an impure thought is about to chastise her for this when she hears her husband’s grunty grunts. But he’s taking a break from angry or horny grunts to grunt in pain so Alexia goes down to help. He’s been hit with a poison dart and is out cold.

Thank god his inane sexism shouting is put on hold.

When this is explained to the other werewolves one of them comments about how poison is a WOMANLY thing. Which makes no sense cause that’s how they tried to kill the queen. BTW bro, it seems by not having a high enough constitution roll, that makes your old alpha a fucking bitch then DON’T IT? Here’s a hot writing tip: Since this writing is smug and for women, can ONE OF THE TIMES we bring up a dude bro being sexist you can like OWN him? Instead of just rolling your eyes?

So Alexia does what anybody would do with her husband out of commission. Get a woman naked.

She first blames LeFoux for everything, threatens to kill her, and takes off all of an unconscious woman��s clothes in order to find ~useful gadgets~ and ~clues.~

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS CLUE HAS REVEALED TO US READERS!ALEXIA IS SO FUCKING DEEP IN THE CLOSET THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG IS DUE TO THE PERSON GIVING HER GAY FEELS. SHE TAKES OUT THESE FEELINGS BY SEXUALLY ASSAULTING UNCONSCIOUS WOMEN! HOLY FUCK!

But it gets worse friends cause we gotta get commentary about how great LeFoux’s UNCONSCIOUS tits are but NOT AS GOOD AS ALEXIA’S! I’M NOT EVEN JOKING!

“It was odd to think, but she had never before seen another woman’s naked body until now. She must admit Madame Lefoux did have a rather nice one. Not so well endowed as Alexia’s own, of course, but trim and tidy with neat small breasts.”

THIS IS SURE THE QUEER REPRESENTATION I WANTED TO SEE!

So this made Alexia mad horny (even though she denies it), but worst of all its victim-blamed away when Alexia makes a note that LeFoux’s PULSE may have QUICKENED when she was stripping her. SO LIKE THAT’S CONSENT RIGHT?

And all this goes down for what? So Alexia makes a note that somebody MAY HAVE used LeFoux’s dart device to take out her shit husband? REALLY GLAD WE HAD THIS SCENE!

Oh yeah and Tunstell was in the room the entire time cause WE MIGHT AS FUCKING WELL AT THIS POINT!

Sooooooooooo

After my favorite scene in this series so far…Since it’s a man who’s been knocked unconscious we now have to take the loose attempted murderer seriously. Alexia grabs Maccon’s stashed away gun, and goes to get some nonsense out of the bag she put in Ivy’s room. Ivy wakes up (not knowing that Maccon has been attacked and the castle is in chaos-mode.) So she cries about how she really loves Tunstell and she’s still not sure what to do. Alexia blows her off and even calls her love struggles ~folderol.~

Which on one hand, sure she has other things on her mind, but she doesn’t tell Ivy, “Hey listen, that blows but my husband was attacked, the attacker is loose, and I just discovered I’m a sexual predator…but like the gay kind so that sucks.” So Ivy gets upset with her flippant attitude, in my opinion, reasonably, and Alexia waltz outta there. She remembers her papers where actually in her umbrella not her bag. Also the papers were like her ~official~ I’m a government snoop, let me do whatever I want papers. She flashes them to the werewolves and they’re like, “…Okay?” and nothing changes.

So the point of the last scene? And then it gets proper muddled here and I’m surprised an editor didn’t pick up on this nonsense.

She gives Tunstell the gun, and tells him to send an aethogram. He asks to whom and Alexia just screams at him to do it.

OKAY THEN!

She tells the werewolf pack to not go into the room where Maccon and LeFoux are and says that Tunstell will totally kill you if you try. Uhh okay? Not sure what that’s accomplishing? Also isn’t he supposed to be sending that gram? Cause that machine is explicitly not in that room. She tells the werewolves to gather all their Egyptian artifacts into one room while she’s gone. She then goes up to send that gram and forgets she told Tunstell to do it I suppose?

She finds all the crystalline what-itz smashed up with an unconscious servant there. WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF YOU CHECKED BEFORE BUT I GUESS THAT’S FINE! But she hid away Akeldama’s frequency so she’s able to send a message to Akeldama about doing the research she SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE 2ND CHAPTER. Akeldama says that Soulless need to be cremated and basically sends her the symbol of the broken ankh. She asked him if he knew anything several chapters ago and he didn’t but within a half hour he pinpointed the exact information she needed. Okay cool, cool, makes a load of sense.

So after Alexia talks the death out of it with Sidheag, she realizes that the mummy was a dead soulless. And, if dead and persevered, will emit a humanization aura. The broken Ankh is a symbol of a soulless, cause an Ankh symbolizes eternal life and it being broken means a soulless can break eternal life blah blah blah. And like boy howdy, I’m so glad that the drama of this story is predicated on the fact that NOBODY even centuries old vampires and the members of the minority in question knows jackshit about the basics of the world around them. Every supernatural knows the identity of every soulless, but nobody knows that you gotta burn their dead bodies? SEEMS LEGIT!

So somebody tells them that LeFoux has woken up and Alexia tells Sidheag to tell no one about the soulless body. I mean…maybe she should have told her to burn the corpse so they can all have their powers back but that would mean that her husband would wake up. And her husband must not wake up to find her sexually assaulting another woman. The scandellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Ugh!

Say something nice Faps:

I got fucking nothing for you.

#gormless #changless #soulless

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trippz2ill2ace8itout · 5 years ago

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🥀🥀||21% Of My Life Storyyx||Stay Alive||🥀🥀

🥀🥀Mental Physcotic Breakdown/Episode . This is one of my least explicit ones. Meet Tyler Alvaro x🥀🥀

😔😞W3lc0m3 T0 Th3 W0rld 0f I33y Magdalinoz-Martinez/Br0k3n R0z3z/Sara Pi3rce/Tyl3r Fiaskko-Alvaro. This is my life. 0r 21% 0f It. TRIGGER WARNING!!!

●21%0F.MY.LIFE UDATED VERSION: ... 🥀Itz Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez,Asexual. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, on Step One &1MonthClean (used every drug except shrooms, Molly and Bathsalts) .I use to forget about my pain, I went to rehabs,(CHYC as mental health and drugNAlcohol Treatment for a year, went to NA and AA?meetings once a week) I’m 21 years old, my dad died In 2011 (of a reported heart attack, but I thought I killed him, I tried to kill him in his sleep multiple times), but he abused me since I was 4 (I fought back at age 9, when the torture got worse, when he hit my mom I started going on a rampage) (beenThruTraumaSince4till2monthsAgo) but I couldn’t tell my mom he was abusing me and torturing me (on multiple occasions on our "father-daughter trips" or when we were alone) or he would sell me or kill me, so I had mixed feelings he injection me with Meth and Heroin (inside a parked car at Carl's Jr, he also made me go to the bathroom && strip for him, he would shoot me up and laugh),, i was out on the streets at first in 2012 (I want insane and lost it in May of 2011), now I’m homeless 13 times (witnessed a lot of crimes, did crimes, a lot happened to me also I did a lot as well) ,getting arrested, in fights, almost been killed, I rose a 9 year old kid (now 13 years old) named Anthony Castillo-Martinez, he was I an abusive foster home, so me and my motel roommate and ex girlfriend of One Year. Kimberly Marie-Olivarez took him in, I was mentally unstable and unfit so CPS took him away,after acar accident&igot framed for giving him drugs,&Inever seen him since,Kimberly and i adopted him from an abusive foster home, after me and Kimberly broke up cuz she was cheating on me with my friend Jeremy and b4 Anthony got taken we went 2 court and Kim got all parental rights and i had to pay child support and got superviszed visits, Jeremy Baraz later told me that Kimberly and him were engaged, I got heated and flipped out and he raped me and we got into an altercation, he helped me on the streets&&was my partner in crime , he bailed me out at the police station (after I got put on temporary probation for continually committing crimes and trashing a strangers car cuz there was drugs in there and they were going to go after my son with that car and drug him up, later they cut the probation if I went to long term rehab) , Ishmael Baraz (Jeremys brother, also guided me and later on got into a shooting scene, so i had to bail him out, only fair u know, we went crazy and i almost got killed and so did he, i pointed the gun towards the officer and stated "if you don't let my friend go, I will shoot u and all of ur officers", and they tazed me (and on multiple other occasions went crazy on police, grabbed the gun , gotten tazed, got the cops called on me for no reason but sometimes 4A reason, im known for police, fire department, AMR, sherriffs etc.) he was a convicted felon, && We were all in a cop chase, we made it to OC with Jeremy, and later on Jeremy &Ismhael myBuddyzGotSh0t isaw the entire thing , and I almost got killed as well, &iwasProstituting/got sold, got drugged up and abused 4 money4us (To raise Anthony, and have a hotel for me Kim and him to live), after that incident of Anthony getting taken Kimberly tried to kill me in my sleep with Ambien.a meth needle and vodka.i woke up in an ER, and she killed herself (right in front of me and I tried 2 st0p her, but I was 2latee ,been raped by my drug dealers which also drugged me up.people on the streets,&by sum1 Idon’t wanna talk about (now I'm coming clean, it was Kimberly) I was in Foster Care a couple times, the 2nd time i was in abusive/Drugaddicts, Angela and Jimmy Miller (they tortured, force fed, raped, abused, but me, drugged me up, had multiple people (over 40 a day) come in an rape me one by one, Angela and Jimmy had a meth lab in there house and I slept in the middle of the attic, they locked me up in there) , first a foster called GHS with staff instead of parents, and with Lisa (who was like a grandma to me but she passed away later on so I moved , later finding out that she attempted suicide) I’ve been in 215 mental hospitals (ETS, Loma Linda, Arrowhead, Cedars Cienai, San Bernardino Community, Delamo, The Willows "CRC", Auoura Charter Oaks, Auoura Las Encinas, UCI, Canyon Ridge, Kaiser, Kaiser Sunset, College Hospital, lock down treatment centers,1in Utah called Copper Hills Youth Center, multiple treatment centers, crisis centers (Crisis Stabelization Unit a 24 hour crisis center [CSU] over 80 times), 2 week mental health and drug/alcohol programs (STAY Program (2x), Jumpstreet, Excelsior House, Rancho West, and Telecare Lagos...2x each) group homes (Rancho Domocitas), Boarding Cares (Golden Girls, a SSI paid house of all girls) rehabs (Cedar House 2x, CHYC, and multiple others), shelters (House of Miracles, Lutheran Mission, Set Free Ranch, Path Of Life, and many otherz), the streets (13 times homeless/on the streets, LA, OC, Menifee, Riverside, Murrietta, Mission Viejo, Corona, irvine and San Bernardino), been in car accidents (over 10 times),I’ve been arrested and detained by a lot of cops in Corona (know mostly all of them, a lot of other people know me in Riverside), I have anger issues (extremely bad), been kicked out of multiple schools since 7th grade, I’ve attempted suicide over 50 timesXI’ve self harmed on multiple occasions (in all kinds of different methods) Ihave bipolar (manic depressive disorder type 1 mixed episode), pre diabetes (got rid of).depression (major depressive disorder).paranioa.anxiety.Buliemia.insomnia.Dissociative Identity Fued.skitzoaffective (extreme skitzophrenia && bipolar mixed) ptsd,ocd,attachment disorder.Autism.borderlinepersonality.amnesia.multiple personality disorder,used to have anorexia, && im deaf in my right ear, near sighted, motion sickness, social anxiety, gastridous, && lastly, chronic body pain .....i helped the homeless and people In hospitals (I help everyone way toooo much) been0nallmentalHealthmedication (I mean ALL, including narcotics and Benzos, and any pill u can use to get high) ppl TriedToSend Me2 MetropolitanStateHospital(highestLevelOfCare), IMD (Institution For The Mentally Diseased) on multiple occasions, ive been to many therapists, physciatrists, ER's, and been on 51/50, 52/50 holds , concervertaship, and lastly ive got taken away from my mom on 4 occasions (personal reasons) I’ve never had a stable home since 2011,now on Augest of 2018 I’m finally home,ihelp others cus im used to people not caring about me, I have trust issues,im always there2help to care to make sure thereok and I don’t stop.StayStronq.It's Izzy Here Again. I Have 22 different voices/demons/visions in my head. Johnny Garcia, Lily, Elizabeth "Liz" Ramos , Charlotte McMann, Wesley Garcia, Constance McMann, Dancing Fire (demon like archangel misunderstood in the form of fire, might be another world trying 2 contact me), Chandy/Gladdis/Leon/Charlene/Raul/Ralphie/George/Michaela aka Michael(all characters from my movie etc.), Erin Ramos. DANCING Squares, Duplicates of People, Bad Mommy/Good Mommy, Bad Daddy/Good Daddy, Visions&Hallucinations of Past/Future, Cones, Red Dots, Flyerway, Veronica/Victoria Enxxellia, Objects Having Force On Me, Flying Objects, Demons Posessing Me. SatanslashGod (can't tell the difference), Richard Enxxellia, Three 7's, Seventy Three 6's, Puppoi (A Duplicate Of My Puppy Raskcal), Mr.OutOfDate, NXSP (0ne Of The Alter Worlds I Live In As Liz Ramos, as I raise hell with Johnny "JJ" Garcia (I try to kill him on multiple occasions but I pulled the Red Wire && he got worse), The Ends (The End Of NXSP it's worse than hell itself times infinity 100 percent), Jonathan Maqranga, TwentyStepsForward, Edgar "Eddie" Alejandria, Dancing Rooms, UglyBitterSky, TheFuckAllTheWayUpInTheSky, Chillwax Alejandria, People From My Past, A Vivid Movie Like Form Of My Whole Past From Beginning To End Flashing By In My Head (Random Times, Coordinated by Dancing Fire Themself), ClosedOptions, Paid2Kill Hernandez, etc.. I Got Chocked, Raped, Tortured, Tied Up, Shot At, Tied To A Tree, Slept In Bathrooms && In Cars (Having Blake Follow Me Into Everywhere I Go && Went into the bathroom , shoving knives, pins, needles, food, guns, sticks, and other shit inside me and he would rape me and if i talked he would kill me. I met Blake at a gas station 3 times to give me my drugs and alcohol paid by for sex with him), I Had 3 Drug Dealers, Juan Torres, Blake Vandiego, Luis Alexander (last name unknown, all of these people didn't give me there real last names, they Identified as what they told me to call them) Blake did the worst torture (playing cakes with me, roleplaying, video taping the torture, I woke up in my bed and he woke me up with 12 meth needles, and we played Pin The Donkey. he would cut me, slice me, bang my body parts on brick walls, put 2 guns in my mouth, 1 gun in each ear, and beat me, burned me, shoved a lighter turned on in my pussy and my butt, he would light me up, and so much much much more torture, all for drugs and money when I became poor), Luis did the 2nd worse torture (he would put a gun to my head at every meal time , beat me, had rough uncosensual sex, played games with me chasing me naked in the hotel room but while playing my sex tapes on the TV, and he would make me sleep outside, all 4 drugs/money when I needed it), and Juan did no torture except (rape me and made me do crimes like the other two did, but he was the sweetest) me and Juan dated for about 4 months, then he perposed, I SAID yes, 4 weeks later he asked me to marry him, and I said no, he said it was fine but 4 weeks later he killed himself with 5 whole bottles of Gabapentin. I Got tortured by more than all 3 of these people. I was a BAD bad bad kid at 12, I was criminally and critically insane, and I did insane things, my behaviors were extremely dangerous/violent/brutal/physcotic/homoscidally insane. 0n 0ne occasion I tried to kill my mom and brother (to take them to Heaven with me), my dad, People on the streets and many many others. I've almost been to Juvenial Hall/Jail on multiple occasions. In the dark Kimberly tried to kill me after she got high on Spice. she reenacted a scene from Criminal Minds that she saw. I was being chased with a knife around my motel room with Anthony watching (he's my son, not by blood but by heart cuz blood doesn't make family), Lisa 0ne Of My Foster Parents would treat me well but on one occasion and one occasion only, she put a gun to my head and told me to shoot her first and than me . so we could escape from this world. I refused and she started drinking heavily , I was her only friend, she had a BAD past as well. her behaviors changed drastically and I would have 2 watch her hurt herself, drink, walk around naked singing Kill Me Kill Me Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead, and What Is Love, I watched her self harm and I tried 2 stop her, but whenever I tried to she would scream and give the gun to me again, she is currently (she's dead but awhile later) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, Autism, Skitzophrenia, and PTSD. She killed herself later on. When I was a patient in multiple of the placements/hospitals/lockdown treatment centers/rehabs/crisis centers/stabilization units etc etc. I would misbehave really badly, I would have protected sex, get in fights, extreme physcotic episodes, do drugs when it was not permitted, I'm used to doing worse crimes on the streets anyways.I got bullied 4 the 1st time inside of CHYC, last but yes least, DAMGEROUSLY CRAZY ME wants to tell u one more thing, when I was homeless, A boy named Timothy Sagaste (not real last name) lead me on and we got engaged after 6 months of dating cuz we were so close, I trusted him, we had a connection, but after leading me on for so long I thought things were TOO perfect, and I was right, after I got engaged to him, we had a romantic dinner &; he told me that he was seeing someone else, that he pretendedthat he liked me, pretended our whole relationship everything about it, he told me he was breaking up with me and I Got heated and beat him up and tried to kill him but he finally grabbed the shotgun and knife out of my hands, Tied me to the bed and told me to "Go Kill Yourself Sara, You DON'T DESERVE LOVE, U DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE, YOUR A MISTAKE , THAT'S WHY NO-ONE EVER LOVED YOU, YOUR AN UGLY SLUT TRASHY WHORE AND U NEED TO GO 2 HELL, UR A SHITTY MOM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT. I'M GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE AT UR FUNERAL AND GUESS WHAT HOE, IM GONNA LAUGH" He went on and on , he us3d my life story and my past against me, after he was done , he took out his phone and video taped me afterward. and he shouted "How Do U Like Me Now" I Got up and grabbed my Medication bottles (Lithium, Adavan, Gabalentin, Abilify, Welbuitren, Zoloft, Vicodin, Seroquel, Norcos, Xanex, Rhresperdol, Atarax, Ambien, My Meth Needle, My Knifes, Guns, Cigarrette Lighters, and My Xprexa and ran into the bathroom, I took a whole bottle of each medication, I made slits in my arm, wrist, neck, I burned myself in the pussy and in my legs (just like how Blake did it) but I hurt myself 20 times worse than anybody ever had, I went physco and I shot myself up in both my arms with meth and heroin, I did the worst torture to myself worse than anybody ever had. I reenacted Blake, Luis ,and Juans torture , plus everyone who has ever tortured me, I did it worse. I put the gun to my head, I added more bullets and i pulled the trigger, I woke up in an ER, and they said I passed out before the bullet hit my head, so now I realize that I was lucky. God Bless everyone and everything, this is the FULL 20% of my 100% of my life story. Fuck Love, Trust N0B0DY && Stay Strong, btw it feels like somethings crawling all over me/or I'm crawling out of my skin , it happens a lot, take care I'm here. ~IzzyMagdalinozMartinez]🥀

-Who I Am Is Darkness- 8/5/14 MY.STORY. xc

hey, I know my dad may have died, after that, I went crazy, physco mental in the head I lost myself I built an emotional wall around myself, I lost my mind and went insane, did dangerous shit that I regr...et, I grew a dark side, I started having hallucinations, different personalities I got possessed, I have REALLY bad anger issues, 34 suicide attempts 50 mental hospital visits a level 14 residential treatment center in Utah and went to a group home called Rancho Domacitas. people were scared of me, I felt numb weak and empty rages and rages of explosive anger and violence, I abused myself to death, I grew worse and worse I ran away anxiety skitzophrenia depression anger violence drugs self harm suicide homoscide there's more things that no one knows about but I was a crazy bitch, I wanted to die, my hallucinations grew worse and worse I smoked my problems away "Johnny" my main hallucination abused me physically and mentally, tbh I don't know who I was I saw my deceased dad, I got the cops called on me, Johnny took full control and I went physco, I had mental episodes bad mental breakdowns ran away everyday got in reastraints started fighting, I wanted to die, I wrote a suicide letter, plenty of times I attempted but I busted my moms door down and started taking pills, I abused myself by cutting punching slamming any self harm possible my anger became to violent I mean I was a mental fucking mess, finally I lost myself so hard so bad I couldn't feel or breathe or think, I just went black, I had blackouts and then I realized I did some really dangerous stupid shit. my life was hard and I still wanted to die and take my family with me I had no touch with reality and my medication wasn't helping, I was done I thought my mom was verbally attacking me but she wasn't, I was pretty messed up, I had a dark side I had so much pain and hurt inside me I was broken and shattered I hated myself because I was a fucking mentally Ill fuck up, I had nightmares about abuse. I wanted my daddy back, I didn't believe he was dead, everyday I grew crazier to the point where I couldn't control it. and I was lost and very very sick you don't even know most of the shit I've done, I was so crazy so I got sent away for a year I got help even when I acted out, I went to a step down group home and all the hospitals. I finally could feel again, and now I'm getting better and back on track. and I find myself again thanks to all you amazing beautiful people I love to call family I don't and can't even put into words how much I love you, all of you, your my family and my mom she's amazing, you all can do this I'm here for you guys I care, you guys I just fucking love you, and thanks, stay strong. that's part of my life story sense I know you all I posted it on here. love you guys I am out of reality in a dark state not mentally there, I'm scared and in pain emotionally desturbed, it's killing me eating me alive and I can't take it the monster inside me fighting to get out. so what I might be autistic so what I have issues so what I'm retarded I still stayed strong through all my issues for 4 years if I get off my meds I get physco and crazy and "not there" I'm asbergers but I'm smart and I'm learning to stay strong and control myself, it's killing me it's tearing me apart the monster inside me, feel trapped in my body I need to get out, no people with suits my mom is not gonna die, I love my mom so much I'd die for you, for her birthday I'm writing and singing her a song I love you best mother in the world I'd die for you. sometimes it just stops, and then starts up again, his body cold on the couch, I need you I need you, but he's gone. I love my mom so much, she might need to go to the emergency room and I'll be with her right by her side the whole time, cuz I love her so much I'd do anything for her. anyways I love her I'd die for her, the most amazing person I know I'll be there for her all my life she was there for me through all my struggles, that's right no one fucks with my family. no one understands what would it be like if I was gone, I'm getting worse I need help fuck I feel numb and sick in the head, my brain is malfunctioning I don't know what's real anymore I'm done no one gets me like my mom, I'm scared full of pain I feel blank I'm going crazier I have nothing in me but a trapped girl wanting to get out of her cage, I hate this life I'm never happy, I fake I'm ok so my mom can be happy inside me is a monster inside me is someone else and depression and a no one I don't no what to say anymore what to do I cry myself to sleep all night I really do wanna die, but no inside me is full of mixed emotions a girl scared and full of rage and pain, I'm going numb insane it's killing me I am scared, I could cry for forever I love you mom, I'm so anxious I don't know what's going on, filling the empty hole inside me my moms gonna change, I fake it all it all if you new what goes on in my head u would be crying its scary it's bad I could beat myself till I bleed I hate this I'm not safe everyone is getting sick of me, I'm fucking mental and crazy, I'm the craziest girl you'll meet I was bad gone and really really sick in the head I did all the crazy things you can think, Ive done unsafe and crazy mental things I was a physcopathic, by now it's getting better slowly, my moms my life my reason to live I've had problems and struggles I want to be happy but I'm fighting the fight to get better, I'm here for all of you I might have a dark side I've been abused and I abuse myself but I'm staying strong I'm here for all of you, I love you as family and I love my mom to death and I love my mom I feel so numbed like no one knows how I feel and my problems got so bad my dark old self grew stronger than weaker, I wasn't in reality, and who I am? darkness... I've had out of body experiences out of it mentally, emotionally I was controlled by my dark side I went all out I might be crazy but I'm fighting, I'm gonna be happy i love you mom forever I've changed for the worst my mom is gonna change for the worse I just know it. darkness is taking control of me I can't control it. but I love you I love you I'm sorry I SORRY don't take me away, I've tried suicide nope not successful, I'm done but I want to make everybody proud, cuz I love you all with all my heart even tho I feel invisible like a nobody a fighter very violent I'm strong and you guys can stay strong to I'll help you every step of the way, don't you even try calling me weak I'm strong IM STRONG!!!! I don't get feelings, I'm feeling feelings I'm worried and paranoid , no one messes with my mom or I'll beat there bitch ass no one cares or understands me cuz I'm like a puzzle very complicated and crazy but I'm blessed with my family and I can stay strong through my troubles I'm sorry to everybody for being a failure a freak a mentally ill sick child I haven't pleased anyone what if I disappeared left fade away I hate this my crazy ass can end up in another institution, but I'm staying with my mom and I'm mentally 7 in the head my brain is messed up there's something wrong but what the fuck ever I LOVE MY MOM WITH MY LIFE ! I can stay strong. no more crazy me he he xP "Let's go crazy don't be fine go be sane and lose ur mind don't be fraid to lose your mind, nothing's the same, tears I shed but no words can describe the pain I feel, numb.. I LOVE YOU xx I'm losing my mind no sense scared trying to crawl out of my own skin, trapped, full of rage feeling numb, his body was moving he's not dead he's alive. why am I the only one going crazy why aren't I happy ? what if I was just an illusion I don't wanna go insane again or back to the hospital... this is how it is, welcome to the ends welcome to my life, I love you my family listen I've had a hard shitty life, lots of issues lots of treatment, I don't know what's real or what's fake I don't have touch with reality I wanna get help I wanna get better, I have faith in God he can help me turn around my life and my behaviors, I can do this, fuck you haters, I love myself again. NO MORE CRAZYNESS, I may be sick in the head I may be depressed and have problems, I care for you all and I'm learning to love my life. if I could get better in my head and my mental state even though I'm not in a good place or mentally in darkness you don't know what goes on in my head. I'm scared I don't know what's going on what's happening welcome to the ends, I'm sorry for becoming darkness, if you knew how crazy I was, you would know how far I've come through all my treatment my brain is messed up I might have a brain tumor a clot in my brain I'm not myself I'm dark I'm crazy I'm mental I have problems but I can make it through, I love you all who have always stuck by my side, I haven't been the hospital for a month I haven't done all that dangerous crazy shit in three months, I'm always sticking by your side I love you as family , I still have unresolved issues but I can do this I CAN BE STRONG ITZs NOT OVER YET! I may be out of it crazy on medication but guess what I CAN MAKE IT x.x Dont worry bout me i might not be stable but im staying strong...

●2% MoreOf My Life Story TRIGGER WARNING!!! So here is my story. I’ve been thru hell all my life and I have attachment issues cuz of my past torture hell and trauma . I usually have an estimate of 5,6,7 breakdowns a day. I’m used to everything that it’s sickening. I’ve always acted out dangerously and unsafely. Later on after my ex girlfriend Kimberly died I realized that she was the one that framed me for giving my illegally adopted son Anthony drugs and after the car accident , I saw Kim laughing and pointing at Me and later on before she hung herself... she said Anthony was never mine he was hers , and I would never be a mother, and that’s why my mom always was a bitch to me. My mom NEVER would kick me out, or so I thought, after I came home from Foster Care she acted strange , not as bad as before. And she kicked me out then took me back in then kicked me out and so on and so forth. I was in LA getting fucked up and on one occasion 2 guys got me really drunk and I woke up In the bathroom and my pants were down and I was on my cycle and everyone saw, I went to the ER, and they said I got raped (again) in the period of my 12th time being homeless. I got raped over 20 times . I almost got killed multiple times, on one occasion I was walking and a van pulled up to the curb and they pointed a gun towards me and told me to get in, I did and they raped me in the back seat and they force fed me, gave me some meth and pointed the gun towards my head the whole way towards there house... they were master bating and would shove there dirty hands down my throat they forced me to have oral. When we got to there house they had a knife up to my throat and I screamed and then the rest was a blackout and I ended up on some strangers lawn . I go to Journey Tay in Spruce street in Corona, I constantly go to CSU and I have a physciatrist and a therapist, but I’m closed off and very touchy with everyone cus my social anxiety trust issues and past trauma. I know I’m broken damaged and helpless but I have a strong faith in God!!!! Anyways on 12/25/2018.. there was this boy approached me during Christmas Eve, and he acted completely fine and normal and caring and sweet and kind hearted and usually I can tell when somethings off. He led me into his trap, I gave him a kiss, and we laughed and. Hung out and we were texting over FaceBook messenger, he constantly asked where I lived and I started to connect with him. On Christmas Day after we opened Christmas gifts we went to Starbucks and he texted me and told me he was at Starbucks, I noticed him getting weird, he didn’t look good at all.. he kept telling me about getting liquor , I mentioned it first , but I changed my mind and he wouldn’t stop . We went to a Walmart where there was nobody there cus Of Christmas. We hung out . We were heading out and he spotted a soda machine, he asked me for a dollar and he put it in the soda machine and I asked where’s mine, he said he had a dollar and I was putting mine back in my purse, I was recording with my iPod touch , and in a split of a second he grabbed my I touch and my wallet with over 400 dollars in it. pushed me and ran, it scared me cus it was out of nowhere. And I gave him my all. And I was hurt. And I still can’t believe it’s true , that all of that was an act, I thought it was for my movie cus we were making a movie , I got up and nobody cared, some people laughed, and I called the cops, not even the security or the costumers care, nobody cares. The cops showed up and she asked me questions, and I’m going to court and there doing an investigation . After that my PTSD got 20 times worse and I started acting out having more episodes and I felt alone. I had another physcotic break . I’ve been to court many times for many reasons : I spend most my holidays away, I spent mine at CSU, and I got worse, I started smoking hookah and I started cutting and popping my meds again, trying to overdose once again . And my behaviors and mental state of mind and insanity and physcotic episodes got worse. They still are. And I know I have support. I’m here for you all , stay strong. May God Be With You!!!!!

●Angelique/Ezxekyal "Izzy" Magdalinoz-Martinez /Sara Nicole Pierce /Br0k3n R0z3z /Tyler Fiaskko-Alvaro

●MY INFO: ||WATTPAD (WHERE I'M WORKING ON WRITING MY LIFE STORY) Ms_SweetInsanityyx ||MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL: TwistedMetal411 ||MY INSTAGRAM: Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez😔😔

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