#its' at least the best from bella's perspective AT LEAST

[cto10121]

Finished re-reading Eclipse (yeah, I’m going backward, sue me) and it truly is. Romance book logic at its finest. Some notes:

Antis whining and bitching about Edward’s overprotective behavior for 1/3rds of the book when 1) Bella does call him out on it and 2) Edward ends up apologizing and promising not to be so high-handed would be hilarious if people didn’t take that seriously. Granted, both Bella and Edward cannot stay angry with one another for one goshdarn minute (R&J: *glares, files a lawsuit*) without forgiving each other and making up. The most hilarious instance is Bella making her grizzly bears threat and then snuggling up to Edward when he returns (“I should infuriate you more often” he literally jokes). As for Edward, there is his agreement to miss out on the fight even when he clearly wants to go, but also at the end he was entirely willing to just give Bella the D!!! Without conditions!!! Too bad Bella finally realized it was best to make a proper farewell to her human life, she could have had a real happy time at their meadow.

Also re: “Edward isolates her, classic abusive behavior!!!” anti clown take…high-handed as Edward can be, he does not isolate Bella from her friends or cleave her from human life in general. On the contrary, he practically all but begs her to prolong her human life for a year or two or indefinitely, apply to and go to college, and spend more time with her human friends. He only has a problem with Jacob for obvious reasons re: treaty, romantic jealousy, etc. Hell, he doesn’t even want to her be a vampire. Edward’s chosen path is simply to be with Bella all throughout her human life. That is not the behavior of real-life abusers, btw. For better or worse, Bella’s becoming a vampire is driven chiefly by Bella herself. She decides whether it’s best to spend more time with friends or simply let those friendships go. She decides she wants to retain Jacob as a friend.

Jacob. My opinion is still the same: Fun character, still the worst as a love interest. I had more fun with him now than I did in my salad years (@my extremely salty teen self writing “DIE JACOB” for two whole pages, I know, bby, I get it), but thematically it does make sense. Eclipse is all about Bella realizing what she would give up re: her humanity, making her decision to become a vampire a truly informed one. That includes acknowledging Jacob as a potential love interest, Rosalie’s perspective, Jasper’s knowledge and history on newborn vampires and how truly violent the vampiric world is, seeing an example of a newborn vampire (Bree), and at least 1) human experience Bella does not want to miss out.

Speaking of which, Horny Bella!!! God I love this bitch!!! More seriously, I like the subversion of the virgin girl/bad boy trope by having Bella be the one to push for sex. And of course Bella agrees to marry Edward just so that she could have that sweet, sweet vampire D. I thoroughly approve.

The Edward and Jacob rivalry. 10/10, the best. I was eating mental popcorn throughout. Their stand-off at the school and Mike et al.’s subsequent bet, the male posturing, the tent scene…Edward’s jealousy especially was so entertaining. Edward’s reaction when Bella punched Jacob was sheer (romance novel) perfection. Charlie’s being blithely Team Jacob was the cherry on top of this social comedy sundae. And of course that tent scene was so iconic freakin’ Hunger Games copied it (and really badly. Why the hell did Collins even bother?).

On a related note: Those Wuthering Heights allusions were anvil-sized, but apropos, of course. I liked that Edward was the Heathcliff and saw himself in him, making Jacob the Linton. Fits into my personal theory of the Twilight Saga just being R&J, Jane Eyre, and Wuthering Heights put into a blender.

Bella being the one to piece together the mystery once more. She really gets all the brains for the first 3 books. This time, though, I call bullshit on them not realizing Victoria’s obvious involvement once they realized the intruder and the newborns in Seattle were connected. It was very much obvious. The only real twist was the Volturi coming in.

Rosalie’s backstory was so realistic and is a great commentary on misogyny than it is given credit for. Bella’s reaction was underbaked, though. She does get (1) nightmare over it, but otherwise it’s Tanya’s interest in Edward that really sticks. (Honestly, I’m here for it. Jealous!Bella is second only to Horny!Bella. Again, romance book logic at its finest.) Bella had much more of a empathetic reaction to Leah’s dilemma than Rosalie, interestingly enough, considering Sam/Emily is drawn as an explicit parallel to her and Edward. Perhaps Leah being the Jacob of that particularly triangle did touch her…

Antis clutching their pearls over Jasper was a Confederate soldier…when Jasper mentions it once, expresses zero nostalgia for that period in his life, and doesn’t even explain why he enlisted in the first place. He wasn’t even fighting when he was turned, just evacuating the city. Either way, he wasn’t a soldier for long before he was conscripted into another vampiric war.

Cinderbella strikes again re: Charlie and Renée, both weak ass parental figures. Again, it gives rationale for Bella’s attraction to Edward (more mature, stable, educated) and to Jacob (happy-go-lucky, younger, more reckless, laissez-faire). Both devoted powerful protectors belonging to fantastical worlds. Yeah, that tracks

“I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This line is so underrated.

In Breaking Dawn, I wondered a bit how Edward could accept Vampire Bella so quickly re: his soul reservations, but Eclipse does provide an answer. Bella is worried Edward would prefer her as a human than a vampire, and Edward literally 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Nice to know this was no retcon and yeah, it tracks

Edward being so damn generous with Bella realizing she is in love with Jacob is really the core essence of Team Edward for me. Jacob would not have been so generous had Bella met Edward after she had Jacob. Edward does love her best. Honestly, I even think she and Edward are more alike than Bella and Jacob. Bella and Jacob clash more often than they agree. Jacob does read her and understand her a lot better, I’ll grant you that.

Book Bella: “But I want you to know something—when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am neutral country. I am Switzerland.” Movie Bella: “i’MSWITZERLAND!!!1!” God, the movies did Bella so dirty.

[threebooksoneplot]

ok so this is a hypothetical scenario bc i listen to a buncha pods about books and sometimes the podcasters have Bad Takes and will b like "i think people generally think [insert bad take]" and i always want to scream and reach out to them like: no. respectfully, i luv ur pod, but shut up ur wrong, or at least to be like: if ur gonna insist on having this take at least acknowledge that there are also other takes out there pls n thanks (yall do this its gr8 im here for it!) anyway i was wondering if someone said something to that effect to you would you be like: ok noted thanks for the feedback ... or would you be like: anyway ur wrong actually bye what would ur response to this incredibly vague hypothetical scenario be?? im curious! thanks for indulging me/my curiosity lol ... ok thats all bye

I mean, I (G) feel like we've definitely done both of those things at different times! kinda depends on the take. like, does the phrase "it's not that deep" apply? then we're probably gonna go for a jokey "you're wrong" Response B. In fact, I'd say 90% of the time when we go for Response B we are joking (James did nothing wrong and Victoria should get to kill Bella as a treat.)

but in general we tryyyyyy to leave room for nuance and point out where we ourselves are biased? you guys are the best judge of whether or not we succeed at that, lol. personally I think the key is just doing what you said above, and acknowledging other takes exist. our experiences are not universal! we try to keep our finger on the pulse (haha vampire jokes) of what other fans are saying even as we acknowledge that "other fans" is a HUGE and diverse category that includes everyone from Cheryl in the Bite Me Edward facebook group who's been writing edbella fic on ff.net since 2009 to Emersyn on tiktok who saw Twilight for the first time last year to Princess Weekes, who just released a new video essay on how not all critiques of the series are bad faith vitriol.

it's also why we have guests! shannon and I are in such close agreement on most things that we knew from the start we wanted to introduce more diversity of opinions, lol.

we ourselves definitely have opinions of the reactionary "we've heard this take we disagree with one too many times online and now we can't help but rip it to shreds when it comes up" variety (stan renee for clear skin) but consider this our re-upped commitment to pointing out to the audience whenever that's the case. we know some of you guys probably like, touch grass and may not be aware of the niche online twilight discourse that poisons our brains 24/7

overall, New Moon has been a great place to build up our "acknowledge that other takes exist" muscles! it feels like every 5 pages we were both stopping to be like "well I don't find this compelling, but I can see why someone else...might...like this." it's definitely opened up my perspective to reread the books after years of being in fandom and being exposed to so many opinions.

so, yeah: it's a boring answer, but our response to the hypothetical situation would depend on the hypothetical take. we hope (and continue to work) to always leave room in our Serious discussions for other points of view!!

[watsername]

alright my long awaited (nobody asked) thoughts on the new maneskin album as a bitch that had way too much maneskin on her Spotify wrapped.

OWN MY MIND - 7/10

I rlly fuckin vibe w this song . the instrumentals in my opinion are some of the best in the album . ive been walking about going do u wanna do u wanna own my mind to the point where its annoying ppl.

GOSSIP- 9/10

don't ask me why this song just has a little bit of girlypop to it. anyway I dance in my bedroom to this this is what this song was made for. drunk women to dance around in their bedrooms in a tshirt and underwear. do your sexy little drunk jumping dance throwing ur hair around u will have such a good time. tom morello FUCKS btw.

TIMEZONE - 8/10

made my cry what the fck . my u key is sticky btw I might jst be missing the u from words sometimes . anyway im a sucker for a rock ballad . the Spotify notes saying it was the least thought out song by dam as an anxious love letter,,,, my heart. the raw emotion in his voice. its gonna send me over the edge

`BLA BLA BLA - 6/10

this was probably my lest favourite from the album it just didn't make me feel any kind of way. is it a bad song by any means ? no I think its fun and the storyline of the song is rlly interesting in the whole depicting the perspective of the most toxic boyfriend and playing it in a way that ridicules him but musically it just wasn't my style as much as the other tracks were

BABY SAID - 8/10

BASS LINE !!!!!!!!!!!! SLAY !!!!!! its got a good build to it and i rlly like the overall song it reminds me of something but I cant place what . this is gonna be another one I end up dancing to . it feels like an updated version of a song that would be on il ballo della vita . u know . it has il bella della vita vibes. I fuck w it

GASOLINE- 8.5/10

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE !!!!!! genuinely I wanted it on the album since we got the teaser last year its such a good song with a powerful message the only thing is I wish it had a bit More going on like the heaviness of the song builds with every 'were gonna dance on gasoline' (and it did a little) so its just musical rock madness by the end if u catch my drift. its still a fucking banger tho and im so happy its on the album

FEEL - 7/10

this song reminds me of something and I DONT KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSSS. maybe its something 90s early 2000s but I cant figure it out. parts of the album have very britpop or like 90s rock vibes anyway the lil 'im about to make u feel' then straight into the guitars gets me pumped and I love it

DONT WANNA SLEEP - 7/10

big fan of the instrmentals and when dam shouts when he sings bt its just nit my fave from the album. I do love the dichotomy of the music and the lyrics and Thomas played w that guitar solo

KOOL KIDS- 100000/10

obsessed. very 90s britpop. the rawness the emotion behind it the fact that he was drnk when they recorded it the frustration with the sneering and snobbery of people post Eurovision the references to everything that happened over those weeks the 'eat my shit' at the end. its powerful what does it mean to be cool why is there so much pressure on people to look and act a certain way why do we have all these preconceived notions on people based on everything down to the music they listen to . I love it .

IF NOT FOR YOU - 10/10

im a scier for a rock ballad. the fact this was done in a one-take. the vocals the strings the instrumentals in general its just so gorgeous . im sobbing listening to it rn . I want this as my first dance as my wedding I really do I need to get my boyfriends approval tho. and he actually needs to propose first which won't be soon. I have time to convince him

READ YOUR DIARY - 7/10

I know that this is kinda a dark song about obsession but,, what is that melody . the chorus just goes so hard . its so good. AGAIN THOMAS BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER WITTH THE GUITAR SOLO !!!!!!!!!

MARK CHAPMAN- 9/10

Im still learning Italian. but this song fucks so hard. genuinely all of their Italian songs are amazing I don't thinks there's one bad one. but the pace the guitars the bass the drums (all of them basically) I love some fast paced rock I love his voice I love this fucking song . Thomas u fucking genius the guitar solo SLAYED !!!!!!!!!!1

LA FINE - 10/10

im quitte literally obsessed w this song. ive made my mm listen to it. I power walk to class listening to it. it has that Teatro d'ira vibes to it very much zitti e buoni in nome del padre moments kind of lividi Sui gomiti vibes as well and girl. thats my fave album. it fucks. this song . and I love how they use their music to discuss important issues and serious topics

IL DONO DELLA VITA- 7/10

the storyline of this song is so interesting in its awareness of appreciating the things you have and what's around you and appreciating the little things and I can see this being phenomenal on stage and being recognised worldwide . I like faster paced songs but I love this song and I think the way it all builds and comes to a climax at the end is gorgeous before it slows down again for damiano and vic to all it all together. brilliant

MAMMAMIA- 10/10

girl it was number 2 in my wrapped second to zitti e buoni. makes me feel like a whore makes me want kill someone in a sexy way its fantastic. sexy ass bass line too. bass player is ALSO sexy.

SUPERMODEL

I was torn on this song when it first released bt the more one been listening to it the more I like it . love the nirvana reference. low waisted pants on onlyfans I pay for that <- best part of the song .

THE LONELIEST- 9/10

this is my mums favourites of the ones ive made her listen to . she likes the music video as well. again I cannot stress enough that domino is such a talented writer his lyrics are genuinely so poetic so beautiful and the band are so talented at building around the lyrics to portray the same form of real emotion with their instruments as domino does his voice everything just fits together and it creates masterpieces. I love this fucking song

the fact that a 6 was the lowest rating here today. I love maneskin fr I believe what theyre doing is reigniting the poplar interest in rock music and they are going to go so so so far . theyre genuinely some of the most talented people of our generation theyre insane. I really hope they expand their tor dates for future tours bc one uk show in england during my uni exam season is killing my Scottish ass . im obsessed w their music fr.

[angelofthepage]

Some of you might know that I have a Bendy fanfic called Searching the Depths: The Heart of the Studio. (Which by the way has two new chapters coming that just need a little more tweaking.) It's very near and dear to my heart, and I've had at least a version of it going since the first year I was in the fandom. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with it, even though it's always evolving and changing, but lately, I can't get my mind off of what would happen if I changed this story to fit with BATDR. So I'm gonna talk about it. Warning, spoilers for BATDR and this fic ahead.

Searching the Depths is one of those stories that has branching paths and multiple perspectives. It doesn't focus on any one character, as I like to get into everyone's heads. It has a little bit of everything, but the big appeal is something I haven't gotten to writing yet, and I wish I could just skip to it, but the context needs to be there for it to work: the trio of Sammy Lawrence, Jack Fain, and Bella Ewe. I tried to deny it for a long time, but Bella is a core part of this story, and you know what? That's okay. My fic doesn't have to have universal appeal, I can have a main character that's an oc, this isn't the worst thing I've done.

Originally, I had the ending of Depths as this big fight against Joey to take him down, have the world crumble around them, and get everyone out and back to the real world (at the cost of his life and all of them still being made of ink but altered to look human). It had a lot of vibes of found family and starting over, and the character arcs explored had a rewarding aftermath. But since BATDR, I've contemplated another path: one where they fail.

They try to fight Joey, but Joey has gotten a character arc of realizing that yeah, he messed up, after spending some time with people he didn't expect to care about. And nothing he will do is ever going to fix his mistakes, but he's Joey Drew, an incredibly insistent guy, so he's going to try. So he manages to escape, locking everyone else inside tighter than ever, but he's not done messing with the ink machine. He knows full well that he can't set the people inside free, not until he's found a solution to them looking like monsters. He has to "fix" them, so they can come home. And this is the motivation for making Audrey, she's one of many experiments to try and get an ink creature to be indistinguishable from a human. And Joey grows attached, for the first time in a long time, he's got someone to love. But it's not meant to last, he's old and decaying, struggling to keep going, and he dies before he can correct his mistakes. Audrey is left in the care of a demon (unbeknownst to her), Belphene, who tries her best to take care of her, but there's only so much she can do.

The cycle has continued since Joey's pet project. The citizens inside have been rebelling, doing everything they can to break it, but it's hopeless. Bella has finally grown into a far more confident version of herself, now a cycle veteran rather than a scared newcomer, and she's gotten a much better handle on her depths diving abilities too. She spends a lot more time comforting souls, both to expand their army of lost ones and to ease the pains of those that are squashed into oblivion. She finally feels worthy of being called one of Sammy's flock, with her and Jack serving as both of his hands. Even though the landscape is hellish, she's found a family for herself, a place to call home, and that means everything to her.

But it's not meant to last. Wilson gets his hands on the machine eventually, and when exploring its many secrets, the people inside beg him to help them get out. It's been so long, they just want to go home. And Wilson, cruel as he is, denies them, traps them even more, messes with the narrative to weaken them, and stops them from fighting back. Sammy is hit with a character rewrite, memory loss that has him back in his old ways, no longer remembering what his relationships are, and removing his crucial link with the demon. Bella and Jack are devastated. Bella has sworn revenge against Wilson for this, how dare he take away someone so important to her.

When Wilson drags Audrey into the studio, Bella suspects that she's a creation of Wilson's and takes an immediate dislike to her. Her heart is hardened by the loss of her friend, and she doesn't hesitate to fight Audrey. If Wilson says she can't have Sammy, then Wilson can't have his little pet. But eventually they do come to an understanding, when Audrey reveals that she's working with Allison and Sammy (separately), and Bella regrets being so harsh. She agrees to work with her and starts getting into why the studio is such a mess, explaining the conundrum as well as sharing her power. Bella's dive is another golden ink ability, and with it, Audrey has a better chance of getting through this.

Bella sees a lot of herself in Audrey. She too was a daughter figure to Joey once (and later, a daughter figure to Sammy and Jack), taken under his wing and manipulated to do his bidding. She too was thrown in here against her will and made to suffer. She too worked on the Bendy property and was pushed too hard. But unlike Audrey, she had help to start. Sammy was responsible for why she turned to ink, but he ultimately took care of her and had her back. Audrey doesn't have that, Audrey is alone. Allison didn't stick around to help, and Sammy is too scrambled to help, so it falls on her now. She doesn't want Audrey to face what she had to go through, and maybe, just maybe, they can fix this together.

And this is where we get into what I was trying to achieve with Depths in the first place: BATDR beat me to my own game. The story I want to tell has a lot of similarities to it, and in some ways, seeing that validated a lot of what I wanted to do. I don't need permission to create what I want, but there's no denying that there's something comforting in knowing I'm not the only one with my vision. If the dev team can go and write the daughter of Joey Drew as a main character and have her have badass powers and kick butt, then I think I'm okay to have my OC travelling with my favorite characters. And because I waited so long, there are things from BATDR that I can implement far earlier into my storyline, like Memory Joey being an avatar for Joey that works on things behind the scenes in the loop, or Porter and Heidi existing far sooner than when we meet them, or figuring out what the origin of the Keepers are.

Or, most importantly of all: rewriting the cycle. This is the biggest thing that's kept me from continuing Depths (other than time and energy). I wrote myself into a corner with making the loop the same each time, it's gotten boring to write. Wilson changing the cycle, in some ways, gave me some agency to play with it for myself.

In Depths, we already know that the story of the studio is a story Joey tells to Eliza Stein, Henry's daughter, as a tale about her dad braving the afterlife since his death (yes Joey sucks for this, especially since he's the one responsible for said death, oh he's so bad). When Bella finally hears this story, it's because Joey wants her to animate it, as a "tribute" to the old studio to relaunch the Bendy brand in time for a big anniversary (in truth it's a part of his ritual to finally lock them all in there for good so they can't ever escape, once he gets his last employee back). Bella is, frankly, appalled by this story and thinks it's poorly done, and because she's a young woman who thinks she knows better, she goes about secretly rewriting Joey's story behind his back, which, unbeknownst to her, affects everyone inside the machine. When Joey finally gets his last employee, Wally Franks, to come back to stuff him inside, it ends with an interruption that puts Wally, himself, Bella, and Eliza inside the machine at different points in the story, so they travel with different parties. Bella has Sammy and Jack, Eliza has Malice, the Butcher Gang, and the Projectionist, Wally has Henry and Buddy, and Joey is in his office at the very end, but I'm contemplating who's gonna teach him a lesson. Might be interesting to stick him with Allison and Tom and have him mistaken for someone that can help ala the BATDR line of thinking with Allison.

Bella takes a bit to figure out that she's being forced to play the role she set out for Henry in the music department, which ultimately leads to her getting sacrificed and ending up as a searcher, because she wasn't the character this was supposed to happen to and her spirits are utterly crushed. Originally when I came up with this, I wrote it as new people being in the loop unlocked alternate pathways that Joey hadn't fully conceived, but I like this a lot better. Bella being forced to recognize the consequences of her actions really hits me where it hurts, and all of these characters getting to play protagonists for a bit and feel some of Henry's pain is a really nice touch. This also hurts even more when Wilson comes into the picture and makes the same mistakes she did, rewriting the story with no regard for those it would hurt. Though in fairness, she didn't know the characters and world she changed were real, he did and decided to do it anyway. She lives with that regret and is trying so hard to make up for her mistakes. I think Audrey would probably need to convince her not to be so hard on herself for it.

Not to mention, I haven't even begun to figure out how this would affect Eliza, Henry's daughter. I have an idea of what I want with her, but it needs more time to marinate. And Cyclebreaker Henry, oh man, playing with him is fun. So in Depths, I don't subscribe to the idea of anyone being fake, they're all real people that got sacrificed. But Henry has an interesting mechanic. He's a ghost that writes golden messages on the wall, something Joey did to take away any agency he had in the story. His body moves separately from him, an empty husk that is forced to go through the motions of the story. I'm rather tempted to have this husk, this shell of Henry, start to become a character of his own, with thoughts, questions, feelings, to fill a similar role to our Cyclebreaker Henry. This would especially work in my favor given some of what I want to do with golden ghost Henry, and it would hit really hard for Audrey to eventually find the seeing tool and get spooked by him. Not to mention all the feelings he'd have about having a false version of himself in there.

Yeah, needless to say, I have a LOT to think about in the way of Depths. I want to get back to playing with it, I just haven't quite been there. But hopefully we can do that soon. I just need to get through the part in reality for a bit so we can get to the studio full-time first. X'''D Curse my overly ambitious visions.

[terranoctis]

Stories of 2023

It's been a year. Not as many stories consumed as much as I hoped for, but many pieces of a story written--so I can forgive the transgression.

Here's a few thoughts on standout stories from this year, in no particular order.

MOVIES (LIVE ACTION)

Poor Things

This is one of the last films I had the pleasure of seeing this year and it took me for a spin for how absurd it was. In all its absurdity though, the film is utterly charming. It has significant flaws in pacing at times (I felt like the film could've been shorter and better for it), but I still very much liked the film as a whole and with its small moments that made me laugh. It is my first film by Yorgos Lanthimos, so I found his distinctive style and cinematography a joy to discover. Emma Stone is phenomenal in her role of Bella. At its heart, the film is really about a woman learning how to live. A baby learning to live in a woman's body. The comedic strokes are just a cherry on top and sell the film even more.

Godzilla Minus One & Shin Godzilla

I'll be frank: I had no interest whatsoever in kaiju movies prior to these two films. I don't even have much interest in King Kong movies and I've seen the most recent Western films for both. The Japanese films of Godzilla, namely both Shin Godzilla and Godzilla Minus One have changed my perspective on that entirely. What these two do so well is put humans at the center of what is the catastrophe of Godzilla and they do it at two ends of a spectrum. Whereas Shin Godzilla is a satire of bureaucracy in the face of a disaster, Godzilla Minus One is grounded in its focus with the trauma of a lone soldier and those about him. It's truly less about Godzilla and more about the people all about who struggle in the face of Godzilla and I was so pleasantly surprised by both. Godzilla Minus One is definitely the standout of the two, but my appreciation for Minus One was all the more because of its contrast to Shin. I would recommend these films to anyone.

Oppenheimer

Christopher Nolan's best film perhaps since Inception in my book. I have not watched Interstellar yet, so perhaps my mind will change with that, but at least of his other films, this is probably one of his strongest. It is a bit longer than I would've personally liked and I have a ton of qualms about Florence Pugh's scenes in the film that did not feel wholly necessary, BUT it is still one of my favorite films this year. Nolan did a phenomenal job in exploring the psyche of a man like Oppenheimer and the events surrounding his life (like the trial).

ANIMATION

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Considering its predecessor was my favorite film of the year it came out, one can't truly be surprised this was one of my top films this year. I liked that the film felt like a story of two protagonists with Miles and Gwen. It ends on a cliffhanger, but concludes nonetheless the arc of Gwen's story to open on the lingering questions of Miles' story. The scene of Gwen and Miles talking upside down on the building is one of my favorite shots in any animated film ever. There's so much I could go into, but I'll keep it short. It's just a beautiful film and again demonstrates the beauty of animation at its best.

Nimona

I read Nimona years ago. I've been a huge fan of ND Stevenson's works since I first watched his version of She-Ra. I followed up that by reading his graphic novels. To finally see Nimona animated, and animated in such a tasteful way that it's faithful to its source, was a joy. You also have to understand the context of Nimona's creation in terms of a film--it was shut down when Disney bought the studio creating it and gutted the project. It's a project that's open about a gay couple and considering the dangers of rhetoric and legislation against the LGBTQIA+ community in the past year, it was beautiful to see it represented and supported by Netflix instead. It's a film that does representation well and its very heartwarming at its core in the depiction of being different and alone.

The First Slam Dunk

I vaguely remember reading the manga this is based off of as a child, but the details of its characters and the plot are so distant to me that it was like watching an entirely new movie. And it is, as it turns out. The movie takes the perspective of one of the players on the high school team--someone who is not the protagonist of the manga at all and had very little spotlight on him in the original story. It's a refreshing story and a film that keeps the momentum of a real basketball game up in a way that makes your heart race. I grew up loving basketball and it's one of those rare films that I think has actually replicated the adrenaline of a game in the final seconds of a game. I cannot recommend this film enough to anyone who loves anime or sports.

Suzume

I thought about whether I wanted to include this in my list or not. It isn't the best animated movie I saw this year and it's not even one of my top favorites from the most objective opinion I can bring forth. Yet even in spite of all that, sometimes themes of a film hit you at its core and Suzume is one of those films for me. Taken at its face value, the film follows Suzume and Souta as they try to prevent a worm from being released and causing catastrophe. My perspective on it also saw the whole film as a metaphor for grief and living on. A little girl goes to search for her mother and gets lost in another world. Sometimes grief does that, where we lose all perception of reality and we go to another place--and that is how I felt that portrayal played it. Suzume will never be that little girl again, but she can encourage that girl to leave and move forward--and that is precisely what the movie does. It's a story about finding love in the strangest places and knowing that even just one call from a person can bring you out of a stupor, much as Suzume did for Souta. Healing is a long progress, but sometimes it's the everyday things that make it all worth it. As a cohesive story, the film struggles at times, but its heartwarming moments really hit home for me.

Television

The Last of Us

As the adaptation of one of my favorite video game stories, the TV show does a phenomenal job. It also has its heart in its own stories, and changes what it needs to for a more unique and agreeable portrayal for television. I won't go into it too much, but the episode with Ron Swanson--er, Nick Offerman--and Murray Bartlett is one of my favorite episodes in television ever.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury - PROLOGUE

I do want to preface it's the prologue specifically I'm mentioning as the standout story. Though I loved the entire season as a whole and would recommend it, it does get very standard high-school anime at some points. The prologue however is really what sold me on this series. It's top-notch pilot episode of a series and it shows a group of Gundam researchers being massacred because their project is being shut down and deemed as too dangerous. A mother manages to get her child to safety by hiding in a Gundam, after having already previously not being able to fully utilize its power because she is not that compatible with it. To her horror, her child is very much so--and the child unknowingly syncs with the Gundam and destroys every enemy attacking her. The father of the child sacrifices himself to allow his daughter and wife to escape--and the child does not comprehend what is happening whatsoever. Her father does his best to keep it a normal event for the child by singing happy birthday in his last breaths. The pilot ends there on such a chilling note and you can't help but shiver at the way wars are fought in the hands of unknowing and innocent children.

BOOKS

Sputnik Sweetheart

I should preface its not a new story for me, but it's a story I reread this year and one I still like to mull over. It's a story about loneliness. It's also a story about how just one person can sometimes stem that loneliness, whether it is romantic or other. The novel expresses in surreal terms what I can sometimes feel, which is why the novel still sticks in my mind even years later. I am significantly more comfortable being alone now than I was when I first read this novel, but it doesn't mean that sometimes I do not feel this way. Reading that loneliness expressed makes me feel better and it makes me realize that I still like this story a lot even if it's a story that remains open-ended.

Tamora Pierce's Works

I reread and listened on audiobooks to quite a few of Tamora Pierce's novels again, namely foremost the Protector of the Small and the Trickster series. When I was just a wee lass, I walked into my library and chose a book at random from the fiction section sectioned off for kids, with fantasy, mystery, and sci-fi novels. That first book I picked up was the First Test novel of the PotS series and I've loved her books ever since. Her stories still hold up in my book for writing dynamic characters so well. The novels focus on one protagonist, but builds its worlds so well that you can see the changes in the world about the protagonist as the novels progress. It's one of the best in terms of novels in seeing how other characters are not simply just characters in the protagonist's story. It made me fall in love with reading all over again, as much as I loved them as a child. I love Kel and Neal and Raoul and Peachblossom--all of them. Those are the stories I love. (These are the kinds of stories I want to write)

GAMES

Final Fantasy XVI

I will say it's not my favorite game this year, but I still very much loved this game. I have issues with some of its gameplay, which adversely affects the story issues I have, but I can overlook it for what the story really goes into. As a shy and introverted person, I think they wrote Jill phenomenally well within the constraints of what they had. My issue was that because the combat was a solo game, which meant only Clive was really focused on, it meant that moments where Jill could've been developed, it didn't give her the stage to do so. Yet her soft relationship with Clive is something I can understand and I liked because it's very much how two shy people fall in love, speaking from experience. I liked as well the way the story could dive into eikons and the adverse affects of what essentially godhood is on the world. It's a fun story with great music. What's not to love?

Baldur's Gate 3

I should preface I am not done with this game and I have some issues with how Act 3 has gone so far in revealing quests to the player--BUT. This game has been extremely phenomenal in how its story has been presented and the choices one is given. It's the most D&D a person can get within a game, and I love it for that. Truly my game of the year, with an intriguing story to back it up. It's the stories within this larger story though that make up the game.

Star Ocean: Second Story R

I adored this game as a child. I have visceral memories of playing this game and exploring the forest as a child. To be able to jump back into this world with the same wonder and with a much upgraded interface to do so has been such a joy. At its heart, the game is about a mysterious orb that has landed on the planet and your journey to discover that and then really save the world. In its execution, it's about two protagonists learning who they are and the wild adventures that ensue as they travel the world. It's an isekai story in ways, and yet it's also simply a fun adventure. I love it.

[jupitermelichios]

So I finally finished reading Midnight Sun (twilight retold from Edward's perspective), and I have to say, without any trace of irony, that is one of the most interesting books I've ever read. Not best, although it's really not terrible, but interesting.

The conclusion I've come to is that meyers is a very keen observer of people, but completely lacks the ability to recognise red flags. Edward and Bella are both extremely well drawn portraits of different mental health conditions, right down to first causes, and yet she genuinely doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with either of them, it's fascinating.

I genuinely don't think she thinks Edward lacks empathy, and yet the thoughts we get from his family are consistently clear and accurate portraits of their personalities, and just as consistently wildly misinterpretted by him. Bella's behaviours are a beautifully observed portrait of someone struggling with such extremely poor self image that it's causing suicidal ideation, and yet I really don't think she thinks there's anything wrong with Bella. She clearly pays attention to the people around her, she's good at drawing believable characters, and yet just as clearly as absolutely no idea why they act like that (or how to spot if they're having a mental breakdown)

Plus as well as being fascinating for it's portrayal of mental health, it managed to hit that 'fun because it's bad' sweet spot that the movies do, at least for me, which is very difficult to do in book form. Both readable enough to be enjoyable as a book, and insane enough to have the appeal of a "so hear me out" movie. The only downside is that it is pretty long, though I read it in installments over a couple of months and didn't find it outstayed its welcome

If you've never been interested in twilight, it probably won't do anything for you, but highly recommended to anyone who has enjoyed laughing at the movies

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi again! Honestly, I kind of love your meta about the Cullens with and without Edward as a framing device. They're so delightfully fucked up. What do you think the Cullens like about each other? Like, do Jasper and Rosalie ever just share a commiserating glance when Edward is getting particularly judge-y? Does Carlisle ever tell Rose how proud he is that her self-control is That Good? Do Emmett and Esme hang out, does she appreciate how light-hearted he is? Like - other than their "mates" do you think the Cullens are super close? What do you think it would take to get them there/what's the ideal "family" dynamic?

Thank you, and for reference, Edward's thoughts on the family.

All the Cullens about all the other Cullens? Well, this will certainly be a large post. I guess we'll tackle this one at a time and then get into what an ideal "family" dynamic even is (especially for vampires).

Let's buckle in friends.

Alice

By far, Alice is closest to Edward.

When she first sees him, she runs to him and embraces him as a brother. Throughout the series, Alice and Edward are the ones that share a close bond with each other, rely upon one another, and hold each other in the highest esteem.

Much of this comes from their respective gifts.

Per their gifts, they unwillingly invade the privacy of everyone close in their lives. More, it's something that forces them to see the world differently beyond even Jasper (who is also gifted). They have a strong sense of kinship with one another.

Bella is important to Alice not only because Alice sees her as a friend but because she is the one who will make Edward happiest. And that means quite a bit to Alice.

Otherwise, Alice isn't that close to any of the others.

Bella comes in slot number two in Alice's esteem and that's very telling, because Alice treats Bella like her life-sized Barbie doll and makes it clear on a number of occasions that she's more than willing to risk Bella's life for the sake of Edward's happiness without a hint of remorse.

Then there's the rest of them.

People, to Alice, are a bit like pawns in a chess game. Part of this is because of her gift, she sees so many futures that it's very easy for her to dehumanize those around her. The people she's closest to aren't people, but a collection of possible choices, and Alice helps guide those choices to the ones she finds preferable.

And preferable, here, is preferable to Alice. Oh, it might work out for everyone else, and Alice will tell you she looks out for the future of everyone over all, but ultimately because everyone else is just a collection of choices it's what happens to Alice that matters.

Alice is with Jasper because a vision told her to be, nothing more, nothing less. Every interaction they have just emphasizes that they are nothing together, not even a real emotional bond.

The others don't even seem to share a connection with Alice at all. She's in their lives, is this perky kind of fun girl, but that's it. They barely know her as she seems to barely know them.

Alice is with the Cullens not for the Cullens themselves but because visions have guided her to be there as the best future for her. Oh, she treats them like family, but I imagine she'd be the same with anyone else had visions dictated a different path.

As for why the Cullens, they're large and very talented, and Carlisle is one of the few vampires in such a large coven who would not use Alice's gift as a means of war or expansion. It's really the safest place for Alice to be, and why she'll likely do everything in her power to keep the coven together.

Carlisle

Despite Edward's, Edwardness, Carlisle is incredibly fond of Edward and does see him as something of a son. He's also very devoted to his marriage to Esme, despite its unseen flaws. And he seems to be very close with Rosalie, easily seeing her as a daughter and acting much like a paternal figure to her throughout the series.

He doesn't seem as close with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. This is in part because Emmett doesn't really reach out to him the way the others do, Jasper keeps very much to himself, and Alice is Alice.

However, he's very fond of the Cullens as a whole and looks on each of them highly, even if they don't really deserve it all the time. He would be devestated were the coven to fall apart.

Emmett

Emmett's closest is with Rosalie, for obvious reasons, but even they have a pretty dysfunctional relationship. What Emmett appreciates most about Rosalie is her beauty, when it comes to her personality, he openly admits he's not the largest fan (but what are you going to do, it's the wife, amirite?)

Otherwise, he's a very amiable guy and gets along well enough with everyone, but doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. He wrestles with Jasper and seems to engage in the most 'fun' activities with him, but Jasper is a very haunted soul with a difficult past that Emmett doesn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Emmett tries to bond with Edward, but they just don't understand one another. Especially as Edward seems to go increasingly mad when he decides he's in love with Bella Swan, Emmett doesn't know what to do with that one at all.

Emmett never embraces the whole Esme and Carlisle as his parents thing, and to him it's likely a hilarious joke, but otherwise he doesn't bond with either of them too much.

So, when you get down to it, it's pretty much just Rose.

Esme

Esme adores the family, and by the family I mean Edward. Edward is far and away Esme's favorite child, really the only Cullen I'd say Esme considers her child, and she makes no pretense otherwise and openly says as much.

That said, if you asked her, it would be about the family unit as a whole. And she would be devastated if the Cullens fell apart on her, though not as much if one of the fringe members left vs. Edward leaving.

Otherwise, there's Carlisle, who she adores as her husband. Though they, too, have significant issues. Specifically, neither of them truly knows who it is they married and one day they will find that out. Personally, I think Carlisle ranks far less in Esme's priorities than Edward, in part because he doesn't need her quite so badly, and also because in a way he just is Husband to her and little else.

I think she has very little connection with Jasper and Alice specifically, as they came in so late and in a way are so self contained. Emmett I think amuses her, but he's not really a "child" per se. Rosalie's closest, but as Rosalie doesn't need her as a mother I think that puts a wedge between them.

I also think that Rosalie and Esme wouldn't really understand each other. Despite having lived through similar experiences as humans, they are very different women from one another. I just don't see the bond there.

Jasper

Jasper seems to be the eternal outsider in the family. Edward despises him, but more, I think he doesn't quite know where to fit in with these people. He came from such a different from world than each of them and lived a very different life.

We see him wrestling with Emmett, so there's a bond of friendship there, but I never saw it as a particularly deep one. They'll wrestle, play games, but they never have the hard and difficult conversations in life.

He and Alice have their relationship, but there doesn't seem to be anything really holding them together. The conversations they need to have don't happen, and Alice manipulates his life like a piece on a chessboard, and he consents because he has no trust left in himself at all.

We see Jasper despair to Carlisle in Breaking Dawn that Bella, a newborn, has better control than him but this seems to be an extreme moment for him. It doesn't seem like he and Carlisle are talking often even if, perhaps, they should if only to gain more perspective from one another.

Jasper didn't come to the coven for Alice, nor is that solely the reason he stays, but he very much is an outsider and the one who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of them.

Rosalie

Rosalie is very invested in the family itself. She loves these people, even the ones that aren't so hot on her.

Yes, she wishes she and Alice had an actual relationship, and is pissed off when Alice blows her off for Edward's human girlfriend of all things. Yes, she wishes that she and Edward could get along, but she sees him as the brother you sometimes have a rocky relationship with.

Point being, to her, they are very much a family and she strives to keep them together.

As for who she's actually close to, I'd say it's Emmett and Carlisle. Her relationship with Edward is tense at best and antagonistic at worst. She and Alice have virtually know relationship at all, Jasper keeps to himself, and we don't see her really connecting with Esme.

On the other hand, in terms of her education (pursuing all she can and especially getting her medical degree), her strict adherence to the diet, she seems to emulate Carlisle in all that she does. He's very much a father figure to her and someone she wishes to be like.

So, I do think Carlisle tells Rosalie he's proud of her and she beams up at him. That one I do very much see happening.

Emmett is her rock, the man who keeps her steady and pulled her out of misery, who loves her near unconditionally. For the wrong reasons, perhaps, but time will tell if that relationship works out for them.

Summing it Up

The Cullens are actually fairly disjointed. They may look like a single cohesive unit, and they are in a sense, but if you look closer they divide down into cliques and subgroups quite easily. Not one of them is equally close to all other Cullens, and most of them are strangers to at least one of them.

This perhaps isn't surprising, given I think the coven is ultimately doomed, but it lays the foundations as for why it's doomed. Edward tells us this himself, what holds them together (vs. other smaller covens) is the diet. Edward, of course, didn't mean it like this, but to me that spells a very tenuous bond. One that, with not much of a catalyst, will break.

And I don't think they're going to get to the point where they reach that family ideal.

First, they'd have to truly understand each other, and understanding Edward would break the coven. So that's not going good places.

More though, they're such different people who ultimately do not share common ideals. They don't want the same things in life and certainly not for the same reasons, and because of that they're not going to be incredibly close to every other person in the coven. And that's fine, they don't have to be.

To be honest, I'm not sure the family dynamic is something they should strive for. They already, mostly, care about one another deeply and do live together. Why should they emulate human families?

The place where it falls apart on them is that half of them don't know who the other is, they all think they have different values than they actually do, and Edward is Edward.

And there's no getting around Edward being Edward.

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here!

Donate to Higher Ground HERE!

* “Everyone in school thought you were dead.”

* Jessica says bluntly as you walk down the pink streamer filled hallway

* you offer her a fake yawn and a smile.

* “My dad came by for a surprise visit.” She looks confused before her expression smooths

* “Oh your real dad, not Carlisle”

* Carlisle contacted his counterpart, Eleazer to tell him you were running away with a man 300 years your senior

* So of course Eleazer came running -after he probably had a spat with Carmen about who would handle this situation better- to Forks on the first flight he found

* Only to burst through the door to see you and Emmett playing kingdom hearts in the living room

* “Oh, I see the rumors have been vastly exaggerated.”

* Cue -figuratively- sweating Carlisle who takes a sip from his mug

* Since he was already here you figured you would take a few days off from school and show him around

* “Is there anything in particular you might want to see?”

* Edward and Carlisle are looking pretty smug thinking that they’ve already shown you everything of note in the area.

* “I’ve always wanted to see the space needle in Seattle.”

* They both falter when they hear that. All the things they’ve shown you are things humans wouldn’t be able to see, hidden meadows, waterfalls, underwater caverns

* They never thought to show you human landmarks. Eleazer nods a growing smile on his face

* “Seattle has a lot of museums that I’ve wanted to visit as well”

* Carlisle let’s out a sigh of relief, none of his kids would be caught dead at a museum outside of a field trip

* To their dismay and Eleazer’s delight your eyes sparkle

* “Can we go to the pop culture museum and the arboretum too?”

* You don’t even pack, Eleazer tells you you can just buy whatever you need when you get there. You do take a duffel bag full of blood bags though

* And then you’re gone, you leave care instructions for your animals with Edward and you and Eleazer drive off towards Seattle in the rented Mercedes he got at the airport

* “Is it just me... or do they look happier with Eleazer than they are with us.” Edward’s only talking to himself, but Carlisle hears and the oncoming doting parent verbal and mental sputter makes him regret saying anything at all

* “it’s okay Carlisle, I’m sure they’re happy here with us too.”

* You guys stay at a pretty upscale hotel downtown, in the penthouse

* “Are you here on a trip with your boyfriend?” The receptionist asks, and Eleazar straight up starts laughing

* “This is my dad.” You say with a straight face and you can tell the receptionist wants to die

* “I-I’m so sorry, we usually get couples this time of year.” Right, it’s almost Valentine’s Day. Makes sense.

* Still there’s something super gross about people thinking you’re romantically linked to Eleazer

* The penthouse is very nice. There’s an infinity pool on your balcony, and three different bedrooms.

* The trip is really fun, you have a -pretend- meal at the revolving restraint at the needle, and spend the rest of the week museum hopping

* “She feels so familiar....” you mumble to yourself as you gaze at a portrait of a woman with long dark hair

* “That’s Carmen” Eleazer tells you

* “What?!?”

* “She was popular with artists even before she turned, it’s always been a hobby of hers to model” You’re just glad it’s not a nude portrait

* You take super cheesy pictures at the natural history museum, and even better pics at the pop culture museum

* On one of your last nights in the city Eleazer took you to a laundromat

* “I know we’ve been running out of clothes, but I’m sure the hotel has a laundry service”

* Eleazer just grins, talking to the attendant, who takes him to a hidden door.

* Well this isn’t sketchy at all

* Eleazer takes your hand in his as he leads you down a long narrow hallway. When you teach the end there’s a pretty nice bar and what appears to be a jazz club

* “It’s a speakeasy, I thought it might be a little fun for our last day”

* Being beautiful has its perks because the waiter doesn’t even card you, just brings you your dink

* “So...Garrett huh?” You groan, and Eleazer smiles

* You knew this was coming

* “Don’t worry, I’m not like Carlisle, if you like someone I like them too.”

* Well at least he isn’t acting like a total freak about the whole thing

* “I am surprised someone like Garrett is more your flavor though” you raise an eyebrow.

* “In comparison to who?” Eleazer gives you a funny look

* “Edward of course”

* You almost spit out your drink

* “Oh, is this one of those situations where the three of you are a couple together?”

* You start coughing and the waiter brings you a glass of water

* “We’re not together!”

* “Well of course you and Garrett aren’t together yet-“

* “Edward and I aren’t dating.”

* Eleazer just looks at you like you told him you’re pregnant

* “That can’t be right” he mumbles and you sigh

* “Why would you think we were dating?” The jazz singer belts out a high note and Eleazer patiently waits for her to be done so he can talk again

* “Well you went with them to Forks, and when you came to visit last year with him we all just figured it had happened naturally”

* Besides, Eleazer see’s the way he looks at you.

* Like you’re the epitome of your gender, like there’s never been anyone like you and there never will be again

* “We all? The entire coven thinks that?” Your fingers thread through your hair.

* What does Tanya think about that? She must be feeling pretty smug what with that talk she gave you all those years ago about how you would eventually date Edward

* Edward probably knows and just doesn’t even care, the criminal probably thinks it’s funny

* Eleazar watches you have a breakdown, taking a small sip of his brandy. It looks like you haven’t realized the way you look at Edward yet

* You look at him like you don’t have a single doubt. You trust him unconditionally, you know exactly who he is and where he will be.

* You look at him like he’s home

* “This is so embarrassing” you mumble and Eleazer smiles

* He guesses it’s not time yet for you to realize your feelings. Maybe it’s for the best, he’s not as bad as Carlisle, but the thought of giving you away at your wedding makes his heart ache.

* “The best cure for embarrassment is alcohol, drink up.” He grins when you clink your glass against his before gulping down the contents of your drink.

* Who knows, maybe in a few years someone completely different will show up and sweep you off your feet.

* You do talk about something really important with Eleazer though

* “Eleazer when do you think Aro will send for me?”

* Eleazer stops mid motion, his glass halted halfway between the table and his mouth

* “If I’m being honest, I don’t think he will for many years” Eleazer has an awkward expression on his face. “I think he’s afraid of you”

* You sputter

* The great and powerful Aro?! Alive for 1000’s of years. AFRAID OF YOU?!?

* “Oh don’t look at me like that, try and think about it from his perspective.”

* Your power is on par with Janes, but unlike her over the decade you’ve been a vampire your power has only gotten stronger. Your body’s natural despair and your desire to be human feed off of each other, compounding on each other to make your power that much more potent

* The only difference is that now you’ve learned to hide it, keeping your emotions in check so others aren’t hurt

* There isn’t a person alive that stands a chance against you at your full potential. You’re the strongest known vampire

* “Chelsea can’t bind you to coven with her loyalty like she does the others,” Eleazer takes a sip of his drink. “his only choice is to let you come back on your own volition, otherwise he risks a war.”

* A war he wouldn’t win, on your own it was dicey, all of them against just you could go either way

* But you weren’t alone anymore, now you have Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazer

* And Edward. You know without a second thought Edward would follow you into hell if you asked.

* “Saving any discovery of remarkable talent”

* A discovery like Bella

* You’re not 100% certain, but you’re pretty sure your powers don’t work on Bella, the same way Edward, Jane and Alec’s powers won’t work on her

* And if she can really spread her shield to others-

* You’re f*cked

* “but the chances of that are slim to none.” Eleazer reassures you

* You give him a reassuring smile

* “Salud” you raise you glass and he smiles

* “Salud” he grins as your glass clinks

* You weren’t expecting the week to go by so fast, or to be having as much fun as you did.

* You were pretty sad when the end of the week rolled around and Eleazer dropped you off home

* “He’ll be back before you know it” Edward says, his arm over your shoulders, giving your arm a comforting squeeze

* “Yeah I know, it still feels bad though”

* Edward doesn’t say anything, he just holds you a little closer

* You’re thankful to the Cullen’s for taking you in and giving you an opportunity you might not have had otherwise

* But they’re not your coven, they’re not really your family

* And so now you’re here, walking in a bright pink and red construction paper covered hallway next to Jessica who’s talking about Valentine’s Day

* Ah right, today’s Valentine’s Day

* “Do you think maybe...Mike bought me a carnation?” She asks twirling a strand of hair around her finger

* “I’m sure he did”

* You’re actually sure he bought one for Bella, but you’re hoping the courtesy extends to the whole friend group

* You bought all your friends valentines, and that includes the Cullen’s and everyone on the cheer team

* The money wasn’t the worst part, they were only a dollar each, the worst part was having to write notes for all of them, it wouldn’t have been so bad if the girl at the table wasn’t giving you a dirty look as you pretended to struggle through writing 30 cards

* “How much do you want to bet Bella gets the most flowers out of all of us?”

* You would bet the entire contents of your bank account, but you’re pretty sure Jess can’t match your bet

* “Well, she’s something new to look at, and boys are dumb”

* Jessica blows a strand of hair out of her face. You know she’s probably a bit bitter since she’s started to notice Mike is interested in Bella and not her

* But you kind of get it

* Bella’s cute, but she’s no Cindy Crawford. And to add...she’s really shy, not exactly someone with a charismatic personality.

* The attention she’s garnered will fade in due time, Edward had told you as much

* “It’s the same thing as when we moved to town, most of these kids have gone to school together since childhood, so when someone new gets here it’s all they can think about. They don’t really like her, they just like the idea of her. The illusion of a choice”

* It made you a little sad to be honest, even worse was that Bella didn’t seem to enjoy the attention. She seemed uncomfortable every time a boy flirted with her

* “I almost feel bad for her, I get the feeling she’s not really into any of these guys that are chasing her” Jessica says, so you’re not the only one that’s noticed

* You’re a little surprised that when the student comes by with carnations you get two entire bouquets worth

* And then they come back the next period and give you another bouquet

* “Oooo someone’s popular!” Angela teases and you shrug. Most of these are from Alice and Rosalie, they each bought you three each

* You got a whopping 12 from Conner which feels a bit surprising

* You knew he was going after it, but you didn’t think he would bother to actually put any effort into his attraction outside of flirting with you

* You’ve got one from everyone in your friend group, a handful from others on the cheer team, Emmett and Jasper both bought you one

* The only person who didn’t get you one was Edward

* You wonder if he got Bella one? The thought seems unlikely since they were basically at each others throat the last time they were together

* So imagine your surprise when you walk into the hall to see Bella and Edward talking

* You’re gone for a week and it’s like they’re suddenly insta-friends

* In fact, Bella’s actually blushing, a carnation twirling between her fingers

* A light red carnation

* So he did buy carnations after all, just not for you

* And Edward...his eyes are sparkling as he looks down at her. A lopsided grin curling onto his face

* Oh, there’s that smile

* He says something to her and she pouts, slapping him lightly with the carnation

* They’re getting along just fine without your matchmaking efforts

* So you were the problem

* You should be happy, relieved even-

* But all you can feel is the sharp twist in the bottom of your stomach

* “Hey (Y/N/N), I see you got my flowers”

* You turn around to see Conner who’s looking at your half zipped bag, 3 bouquets of flowers popping out of the top

* “Oh, yeah thanks they’re beautiful.”

* “I’m glad you got them, I noticed you weren’t at school and for a second I was worried you wouldn’t be here today too.”

* He really is cute. He’s got chocolate brown hair and clear blue eyes, a splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose. He plays tennis or baseball or some other irrelevant sport.

* He’s popular with the girls too, he dated Lauren a few times, and Jessica admitted she had a crush on him freshman year.

* “Are you feeling better now?” He asks, he looks genuinely concerned and it takes you back a bit

* “Yeah, my dad came for a surprise visit so we went to Seattle”

* “Oh that’s cool, what did you guys do?”

* You’re a little surprised that Conner O’Malley, f*ckboy extraordinaire, is Trying to engage you in an honest conversation

* “We just did all the tourist stuff, space needle, museums, food, the usual.”

* Conner smiles at you, hands fidgeting together

* “That’s cool, did you um-did you read the note with the bouquet?

* You didn’t notice there was a note, you swing you backpack around, picking out his bright red bouquet with ease.

* You hadn’t paid attention to the note attached than reading the name on the front to see who they were from.

* “Will you be my valentine” you read the note out loud, feeling confused. What does that mean

* He fidgets in front of you, from here you can see his ears are bright red

* “So would you want to go out sometime?”

* He’s asking you out? On a proper date????

* “We could go watch a movie, or um I know you like to ride those bikes in Port A-“ you do like to ride those bikes in port a

* You watch the his human boy fumble over himself. There’s no future with this boy, one day he’ll grow old and want things you won’t be able to give him.

* “I have a ton of homework to catch up on-“

* “Oh, yeah no, I get that”

* But maybe... maybe it’s okay just to pretend and let yourself be entertained by the experience

* “Would you want to come with me to the library? I’m totally lost on Trig”

* You know it’s not the most romantic place, but that’s part of the reason you suggested it. You want to give him an out

* He looks a little surprised but recovers quickly.

* “I’ll meet you after school then, we can drive to the library together”

* You don’t bother telling Edward, you just look to the spot where he’s with Bella, he must have heard

* His eyes meet yours, his mouth pinches into a slight smile and he gives you a nod before turning back to Bella

* What so just because he’s got a new friend you’re invisible now?

* Stupid Edward. Not like you care, you just wanted him to know he’d have to ride home with the others

* Maybe his new best friend Bella can give him a ride home

* “So you’re going out with Conner tonight huh?” Mike asks when you take your seat in biology

* Edward doesn’t so much as spare you a glance

* “He’s just helping me catch up on school work.” You shrug, pulling out your biology homework

* “I bet he’ll help you catch up on-“

* “You’re going out with Conner?” Bella interrupts, you’re grateful for it but at the same time: those doe eyes and innocent face irritate you

* “He’s just helping me catch up on homework I missed”

* “Couldn’t Edward hell you do that?”

* You try to not look at Edward

* But what the f*ck?!?

* Last week the two of them couldn’t even sit in a car together for a short ten minute drive, and now all of a sudden she’s asking why you’re NOT spending time with Edward?

* It’s so... irritating

* You feel a tap on your arm, and turn to look at Edward

* “Control yourself”

* Oh great so the one time he decides to acknowledge your presence is to tell you to control your powers because he’s worried about his little human girlfriend getting the whiplash?!?

* Seriously, f*ck off Edward

* “Mr. Barnes I have to go to the nurse.”

* You don’t even wait to hear his answer, you just grab your bag and walk out

* You keep walking, practically fuming until you get to the parking lot

* Well you can’t leave, you already told Conner you’re going with him to the library after school

* Not to add it’s going to look real weird if you don’t go the nurses office eventually after storming off like that

* But you don’t want to go there yet

* Queue you discretely crouching under a window, lightly tapping the glass

* “Rosalie, Rosalie can you hear me?” You whisper

* Rosalie head turns to the window, her eyebrows threaded together, you poke your head just slightly above the ledge and give her a small smile and a wave

* Well at least it’s always interesting with you around

* “What are you doing?” Rosalie asks when she meets you under the school staircase

* You give her a nervous smile before collapsing onto the floor

* She gives you a knowing look before sitting beside you

* “So what did king Brood do now?”

* Queue the Edward rant

* “I leave for one week and all of a sudden he’s besties with some human, when just last week he told me not to get to close to her”

* “That’s Edward for you, king of the brood and hypocrisy.” Rosalie leans her head back against the wall

* “You know he didn’t even get me a carnation?”

* Rosalie rolls her eyes

* “That sounds like him, if it helps he didn’t buy me a carnation either, he just doesn’t think things like this are important”

* “He bought Bella one.”

* Rosalie sputters at that, so you retell her all about the flirting you had to watch

* “What color was the carnation?” Rosalie asks, and your eyebrows thread together

* Why is that important right now?

* “Um I don’t know, not quite pink, not quite red, something in between.”

* Rosalie’s expression smooths

* So that’s his game

* “Don’t worry about it too much as long as it’s not a deep red it doesn’t mean love”

* Now it’s your turn to sputter

* “W-what why would I be worried? Edward can do whatever he wants, even if it is with some human”

* Rosalie gives you a knowing look, and you avert your eyes

* If Rosalie were cruel she might ask why you’re sitting out here with her instead of in class, if you don’t care about what Edward does

* But Rosalie isn’t cruel, at least not to you

* She pats your shoulder, and you sigh

* “Come on let’s go to the nurse so you can pretend you have cramps or something” you nod

* “Besides don’t you have a date with the hottest human boy at our school?” You groan and a teasing smile curls onto her lips

* “Not you too.”

* The date is over hyped for sure, it’s mostly you and Conner sitting at the end of a small table asking each other questions about the trig homework

* “So...are you supposed to use the radical formula for this one?”

* “I think so..do you remember the formula?” Conner scratches his head

* “Um I remember there was a story about a mixed up guy going to a party that’s supposed to help”

* Basically it’s more like you’re helping Conner with home work than him helping you Totally underwhelming

* “Sorry, I bet there are better ways to spend your Valentine’s Day” Conner scoffs

* “Are you kidding? I’m spending it with the hottest person at Forks HS, as far as I’m concerned this is a win” he grins and you smile back

* Well, it wasn’t completely a waste

* You roll around back home around 11:30, everyone’s gone, on with their own Valentine’s Day plans.

* You’re not surprised to see Edward’s not in his room either He’s probably out watching Bella or doing god knows what

* You know this is the way it supposed to be, it’s the best thing for you too, you know even with Bella in the mix Edward would never betray you

* Once she’s on your side you don’t have to worry about the Volturi. But still, there a twist in your stomach You don’t like this new Edward, even if it is who he really is.

* You want your Edward back

* You sigh as you walk down the hall and into your room Stopping in the doorway when you flick on the lights

* There on your desk is a bouquet of roses

* You have half a mind to think they’re from Eleazer or Garrett or something

* So imagine when you pull off the card to see Edward’s name attached

* “Glad to have you home, happy Valentine’s Day” - Edward

* You toy with the card, a small smile curling onto your lips

* Maybe he’s still your Edward

* Your Edward just more anti-social

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ @hotmessgoodness @jaimewho @corabmarie @what-am-i-doing10​

[witchyangela]

Team Edward vs Team Jacob? ( or Maybe it can be that deep)

Unless you’ve been totally removed from popular culture these past few years you have heard about Team Edward vs Team Jacob. It was everywhere for a while and it was one of the things that both drew people to twilight and drive people away. It also, while not inventing love triangles, added a huge amount to their popularity and prevalence in fiction (particularly YA). The other most famous love triangle in YA is of course from the Hunger Games.

However if you ask any self respecting Hunger Games fan about it, they will tell you it’s more than just that, that Peeta represents peace and rebuilding while Gale represents retribution and destruction (at their most simple) and Katniss choosing between them is in fact her choosing her future. This symbolic view of love triangles is rarely discussed Re. Twilight, and with good reason as it’s unlikely Smeyer intended one to be there. However I think, that twilight can be read in an equally allegorical way, so please take a trip with me to find out what’s beyond team Edward and team Jacob.

The very first question, is what do Edward and Jacob represent? The most obvious answer in life and death. Language describing Edward is full of metaphors describing him as cold, as drug like, as painful. Smeyer describes Bella feeling “withdrawal” when she is away from him. Jacob however is associated primarily with the sun and with warmth. There’s also the factor that physically Edward is dead, he has no heartbeat, doesn’t grow, doesn’t eat human food. Whereas Jake has a quick heart beat, grows more quickly that the average human, and needs to eat more human food. In this way Jacob seems to represent humanity at its most extreme, he is more human than Bella, Edward is less.

However this falls apart around eclipse, when Jacobs warmth becomes “burning” however it’s wildly accepted that Smeyer changed Jacobs characterisation drastically in Eclipse, even reverting back to his og characterisation in Breaking dawn. So If we take away that element then Edward and Jacob representing life and death makes sense. However Bella choosing death over life is wrong, right?

Well maybe not. At least not in Bellas mind. From the first line of the series we know Bella is borderline obsessed with death. She is distressingly self sacrificing, the first line of the entire series is her deciding to die “in the place of someone ( she) loves”. And throughout new moon Bella continues to be self destructive. It’s interesting that the famous cliff dive, is to get towards Edward in the form of a halluncination. And she is saved by Jacob. This scene shows at its most basic that Bella leaping towards Edward is her jumping to her death. And yet she chooses it. So it’s fair enough to say that Bella doesn’t particularly want to live.

Which is why Edward is the one she chooses. He offers the option for her to stop aging, to have to never make the difficult decisions that come with age. In many ways Bella choosing Edward is a symbolic death. But it’s also a very attractive prospect for a teenager anxious about aging, with a complex about responsibility. Which let’s face it lots of the people reading twilight were. Choosing Edward is easy because her is an end to all problems. Wheras while Jacob may offer solutions too through friendship and warmth. His path requires effort.

Which is why I think that Life and Death might be too reducative. When in reality they represent Stagnation and Recovery. Bella is put in a position where if she chooses Jacob she will have to work on herself. With him she is actively building the bikes, which are a fairly obvious metaphor. They were broken by someone else, but by putting time and effort in they can work again. Which is very much what is happening with Bella in New Moon, she feels broken but begins to put in work to put herself together.

Continuing the metaphor, in eclipse Edward presents Bella with his own motorbike. It’s fancy, fast, and ready to go. It doesn’t require work to be put in. And Bella sees it how the audience does. That it doesn’t meant the same as it doesn’t have the same love put into it. It isn’t the motorbike that matters but the time spent building it. And again and again Edward and Jacob are shown like this. Jacob gives Bella a wolf charm he spent time and love carving, but Edward gives Bella a diamond, that’s flashy but has no real meaning.

So she should have chosen Jake right? Well yes but it’s not that simple! Bella is clearly vulnerable and what she thinks she wants is what Edward is giving, something ready made, a perfect family, wealth, security, but she doesn’t see that they’re as empty as the bike Edward gives. She could have these things with Jake but she would have to work for them, would have to put effort into making his friends like her rather than have them be her “best friend” immediately. And putting work in is what makes things matter, as I established, but Bella doesn’t see this, she sees the security of the Cullens and is blinded by its flashy-ness. And Jacob can’t compete. Bella wants the end product immediately and he is a work in progress.

So what does this mean? If Bella chooses death and refuses to recover her ending is surely a tragedy? Well maybe! But it’s easier to understand once you look at it from the Mormon perspective it was written from. Because Edwards symbolic death isn’t a end. It is a beggining, and from then on its “paradise”. Bella choosing death is just a fast track to heaven. And hey, why bother trying to make your time on earth good when you know what comes next will be a thousand times better?

But if you remember that post that said “an immortal will never love as a human loves because love is about survival”? Yeah that’s the real Edward / Jacob divide. Eternity is impossible to comprehend, and maybe this is just me but even a “perfect forever” sounds like it would be unbearable. Jacobs version of a happy ending may be shorter and less complete but like the bike and the wolf charm it’s also more real. So it’s easy to understand why Bella, Smeyer, and many readers chose Edward, as a fantasy it’s unbeatable. But if I had to choose? Team Jacob forever!

[misku-nimfa]

What exactly is wrong with Bella’s childhood and Renee’s parenting ? Forgive me if it isn’t obvious to me. It’s been years since I read the books.

That's fair. It probably doesn't help that Bella sees her childhood as an overall good one and since she's the point of view the audience is encouraged to do the same.

Bella frequently worries if Phil is going to take care of Renee the way Bella did, if he's going to remember to handle the bills to file the taxes to cook the food and so on. No child should have been taken over these responsibilities for their parent much less as young as Bella implies that she did for Renee. There's also the fact that Bella doesn't connect with her peers at all. The only person from Phoenix that she misses is Renee. I've been functionally without friends multiple times and, especially in childhood, that's a very loud sign that the person in question is keeping everyone away, been targeted for bullying and/or ostracizing, or both. Any of which should be met with building up the affected person's support network and coping skills. Again we're limited by the books' perspective but, I am pretty sure that Renee didn't teach Bella coping skills or take Bella to therapy if Bella's later breakdown in New Moon is any indication.

Moving deeper into speculation, Bella's breakdown in New Moon makes me think that she had been dealing with Depression throughout the series and Edward leaving was the straw that broke her. She repeatedly demonstrates terrible self esteem, treating any compliment as a lie or a mistake, she treats her interactions with the people around her as almost completely transactional, and refuses to admit that anything might be wrong even when she is in shambles. The way she describes Edward breaking her, it sounds more like a person who had got her starting to believe at least a little in herself never thought that at all and Bella missing the feelings of acceptance rather than missing Edward as a person. Which feels more like a person with Depression being set back than a healthy person falling into the Depression deep end.

Why might this matter?

Depression has two key factors in its development Biological and Environmental. Putting aside the biological factors, if only because people are only just starting to include Depression when sharing the family medical history and even then anything beyond parents and siblings is still spotty. A lot of the environmental factors that contribute to developing depression are things Renee should have been managing or responding to. Isolation from peers, Bella seems to have this in spades and Renee (limited by the story's perspective) never seemed to address that. Drastic upheaval, moving to Forks is one. A little bit more understandable seeing how Charlie was there and Bella was expressing interest in it but Renee still should have done her best to be able to visit Bella/be there for Bella at least for a bit in the beginning. A bigger instance seems to be how Bella describes Renee's flightiness and bouncing around, but there we're limited by Bella's perspective.

Like, I don't think Renee was a monster or the worst parent ever. But I don't think she should have been the one raising Bella. Or if she absolutely had to raise Bella she should have gotten the help she needed to do it well.

[thetypedwriter]

Midnight Sun Book Review

Midnight Sun Book Review by Stephenie Meyer 

Oh my god, you guys. 

Just. Oh. My. God. 

This book took ten years off of my life. 

As a heavy reminder, these book reviews are entirely subjective and my very personal opinion. I don’t need the hoards of Twihards coming after me with pitchforks and pretend fangs from Party City because I didn’t fall head-over-heels with this canon spinoff like my fourteen-year-old self would have. 

With that measly disclaimer out of the way, let’s move onto the actual book review. If you haven’t heard of Midnight Sun or don’t know what it is, then I don’t know what to tell you except that you avoided 600 plus pages of stream of conscious ranting. 

For those of you that would like to be enlightened, Midnight Sun is the retelling of the infamous Twilight book-yes, that Twilight, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen Twilight, complete with vampires, not so-stellar acting, and the more than notorious forest scene of Edward demanding she say… “vampire!” Gasp. 

But no really, like most women in my now mid-20’s, as a teenager, I was obsessed with the Twilight saga and everything it had to offer, especially the dreamy, chivalrous, too good to be true Edward Cullen (fuck Jacob). 

I voraciously devoured the books while I was in middle school, attended the midnight book premier for Breaking Dawn, and stayed up way too late for each and every movie screening that followed, a loyal fan to the end. To give you some perspective, I even joined the Twilight club my freshman year of high school. 

Yes, if you were wondering, I was indeed that cool. 

I was obsessed and in love and outside of Harry Potter, it’s still one of the few book fandoms and series that I was truly enveloped and consumed by. Whether that was due to my age, the experience of the fandom, the cultural phenomena that was following the movies and new releases, or for other reasons, it was an experience I look back on now with simultaneous fondness and slight embarrassment. 

I wasn’t embarrassed by my involvement or my experience in the fandom, like many other people, I made great friends through Twilight (including my best friend, whom I met in college when we mutually bonded over our love of Twilight), read countless fanfiction that, to this day, I still remember and cherish with my heart, and it was one of the series that cemented my love of reading and book culture as a whole for me. 

However, like everyone else, I inevitably grew up, matured, and my reading tastes changed and became more refined. As an avid re-reader of books, I have tried going back to re-read the Twilight saga multiple times... 

...and failed. 

The books had simply lost their magic for me. 

The story seemed dull and nonsensical, Bella had become the epitome of a Mary Sue, the writing was now apparently mediocre, and Breaking Dawn’s lackluster climax angered me to the point of speechlessness (it still does). 

So, I gave up re-reading the series and while I deemed that it was perhaps not as wonderful and life-changing as it had been for 8th grade Melissa, I still appreciated what it had done for me personally and the experiences that I had gained through the books. 

Speaking of 8th grade Melissa, the original Midnight Sun, that being twelve chapters of the original manuscript that had been leaked back in 2008, had been put up on Stephenie Meyer’s website for all to enjoy. 

Like the good, whipped fangirl I was, I devoured all 12 chapters with ease and lamented the loss of never getting more than that snapshot of Edward’s thoughts and musings. 

Now, twelve years later, the full book has been written, published, and released to the delight and downright shock to many age-old Twilight fans that had believed that series to be dead and buried, myself included. 

So, when the book came out this August, I swallowed my trepidation, knowing that my love for the characters was now long gone, but I believed that the sentimentality of 8th grade Melissa’s obsession would long linger, making this a pleasant blast from the past to lift my mood. 

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. 

Now, that I’ve told you my whole life story in an effort to explain why I have the feelings I do and to justify that I’m not just being negative for the sake of being negative, this book did not hold up to any of my expectations. 

One, it was so freaking long. 

Holy shit, was this book long. 

As I have said countless times on this blog, I like big books (and I cannot lie). It’s the best feeling in the world when you get into a story and you realize that you have many days ahead of you of being engulfed within this new world that you’ve fallen head-over-heels for. 

It’s the opposite, sinking feeling of dread when you feel like you’ve been reading the book for weeks and are getting nothing out of it. 

Midnight Sun was a lot like that.

It was too long to be good, especially considering the length was not generally driven by plot, but instead driven by Edward thinking of every fucking thing to the nth degree and driving me crazy in the process. 

Homeboy needs to take a chill pill, he overstresses, overthinks, and overanalyzes everything to the point of irritation as a reader. 

Meyer’s editor really needed to step in and say, “Hey, Stephenie...is all of this really necessary?” and then proceed to cut out at least 300 pages of nonsense. 

But that didn’t happen, probably because first and foremost, the book was already going to sell no matter what changes or edits were made, and this seemed like a book more for Stephenie than anyone else. 

It was very much stream of consciousness like I’ve already said, a style of writing defined as a literary style in which a character's thoughts, feelings, and reactions are depicted in a continuous flow uninterrupted by objective description or conventional dialogue. 

It wasn’t on the level of James Joyce’s Ulysses or other notable works, but damn was it close. 

This writing style I found abhorrently repetitive and exceptionally dull. 

Perhaps my fourteen-year-old self would have felt differently and would have sucked up anything about Edward Cullen eagerly considering he was the fictional love of my life. 

Or perhaps this book would have made me go running and screaming in the opposite direction as Edward is...kind of awful?

One positive thing I can say about this book is that it paints Bella Swan in a very rosy light, which was actually very refreshing. One of the most famous criticisms that Meyer’s has received is Bella’s lack of character, development, and attributes. 

Seeing Bella from Edward’s perspective instead of vice-versa actually showed how kind, thoughtful, and selfless she is, all things that I had never really picked up on before. 

I still find her inexcusably dumb sometimes, but much of time during this book, Bella was actually far favorable to Edward or any other character, a blasphemous statement of irony if I had ever heard one. 

The payoff, however, is Edward’s reveal as not chivalrous, not gentlemanly, and not as wonderful as I remember. He’s arrogant, selfish, obsessive, and honestly? Downright creepy. 

The stalking reaches new levels of not okay, often with him trying to justify his less than criminal activities with the notion of her “safety” as the priority, which I found complete bullshit. 

I found Edward domineering, cold, aggravating, and lackluster, statements which would literally have made my old self sob, which I honestly did when Edward left in New Moon. 

I used to be an avid Jacob hater and lover of Edward to the extreme back in the day. Now, I would weep for joy if he left, root for Jacob all the way, and hope that the horrible name of Renesmee never needed to come to fruition in the first place. 

Oh, how the turns have tabled. 

Other than the atrocious length, my other large criticism came in the form of well...the book was naturally boring in my opinion. Meyer tries to create tension and moments of suspense, but...we already know what happens. 

We know the next few years actually. We know they get married, have a baby, and Bella gets turned into a vampire. So all moments of tension and suspense are unceremoniously tossed out the window. 

You might say, typedwriter, that’s unfair! We didn’t read this for the tension and suspenseful plot that we already know! We read this to get new information and insight into the Cullens and Edward especially. What do the Cullens do at home? How do they interact? What does this juicy insider insight look like?

Well, I still don’t know because we hardly saw any of it. 

I was the most curious about the Cullens as a family unit and more information into how they functioned, interacted, and cohabited. I even wrote a fanfiction back in the day about what freaking Esme did home alone because I was so intrigued by the idea, but nope! 

Edward was always stalking Bella 24/7 so almost no new information was gleaned about the Cullens, sucks for you. 

There would be little nuggets here and there, little bouts of cool information (Apparently Esme just stays home all day every day doing….nothing?), but not nearly enough to justify a 600+ page book of a recycled plot that we were already familiar with. 

I needed more from this book, craved all the little moments in between, and it was a letdown to the most extreme proportions. 

Recommendation: I didn’t really enjoy this read despite my past involvement with the series, my lingering fondness for the movies on a cold, rainy day, and the still sporadic delves into Twilight fanfiction that maintains its reputation of quality and characters. 

Twilight will always have a special place in my heart for what it did for me and the people it brought into my life, but I wish I had remembered Midnight Sun as the 12 chapters I read on Stephenie Meyer’s website when I was fourteen and infatuated instead of 26 and uninterested and unforgiving. 

Score: 4/10

[bellaslilpapercut]

Eclipse reread part 3 bewr bewr bewrrr! Covering the entire rest of the book in ONE post so buckle on in baybee: 

1. Absolutely everything about chapter 15 (wager) is disgusting. To a certain extent I appreciate how successfully meyer captures how frustrating assault is as a woman, how futile it feels to fight against it. But at the same time the way she handles the aftermath is unbelievably disappointing and infuriating. Charlie doesn't get up to help his own daughter, Jake trails after Bella into the house and sticks around, there's just no relief or reflection that feels satisfying. Bella can ask where the justice is when she finds out Jake isn't aging but just ignores Charlie defending her assailant? And to some extent I get it, I've shut down after assault before to the point where it took years to recognize that some of the things that happened even were assault. But when there's a pattern within the series of men being narratively rewarded for assault and abuse and women being punished for reacting to abuse it feels like the narrative is reinforcing the status quo of women<men. I'm not stupid, I understand when a book is trying to make me uncomfortable and I don't need villains to be punished to know that they're villainous. This doesn't come across that way at all. Meyers handling of misogynistic abuse and violence lack the nuance to make me believe that she sees this violence as something to be critical of rather than something that just happens to women. And again, because it's a pattern in her writing, women getting no reprieve from gendered harm, I don't believe she's making a statement. There's just no self awareness and that's the key difference between a story like Brave New World or Lolita and Twilight.

2. Also this quote that precedes the assault is just so so frustrating:

Bella is not mean for setting boundaries! She isn't stringing you along! I would love to hit meyer in the head with a rolled up newspaper. Anyway.

3. Bella keeps saying things like "this would be annoying if it weren't so scary" in regards to having her clothes stolen by vampires that want her dead and having to lie to people around her, again because dozens of vampires want her dead. And y'know after the third time she said she would be annoyed if she weren't scared I'm just left to believe she isn't scared at all. I don't feel rising tension, the newborn army feels like a minor nuisance and even after they connect it to victoria (who still hasn't shown up at all) I'm just like...okay well get on with it then! Meyer makes bella "shudder" (I'm still tempted to make a comp of every time she shudders in this fucking book lol) instead of showing us her actual fear. I don't believe she's scared, I don't care about the "threat," and I don't believe anything bad will happen to Bella. There are Literally No Stakes here. I'm not invested in this story at all.

4. Alice is a bad friend lmfao

Girl, you're psychic you know she wanted to wear red why are you just dressing her up for your brother.

5. Okay returning to point 3 because I read chapter 17 and had an epiphany: Bella says she isn't scared for herself and I get that I do. But smeyer also hasn't shown us that she's selfless- just that she doesn't care if she dies. If bella actually cared for her human friends, in any way, I would believe that the newborn army was a scary threat because the people she loves might get hurt. But I don't believe that she cares about that I only believe that she- like Edward- has a weird martyr complex.

6. The Mirror chapter also reinforces this. I can’t stop thinking about how much more impactful it would have been narratively if it had been Angela in Bree’s position (because she’s the only human friend Bella seems fond of but if Bella showed interest in any of the other humans, honestly any of them would do). Imagine the moment where the newborn vampire first lifts her head to look into Bella’s eyes and it’s someone she knows. Someone she cares for. There should have been consequences for Bella beyond “Jake got some bones broken and now I feel bad :(” which was also a shitty punishment because smeyer is inflicting physical trauma on an indigenous character just to make Bella feel bad. Okay. Anyway, it would have built the tension I was missing for- quite literally- over 300 pages of this book if Bella’s friends and classmates and Fork’s residents had been going missing the whole time. Suddenly, at the end of the battle, there’s Angela. Or Jess. Or Katie fucking Marshall. Someone Bella knew should have been there and maybe I would have cared about this book at all.

7. Going back in time to this quote which comes before the battle:

UGH!!! SHUT UP SMEYER! She literally poisoned Jake’s character from the moment she made him a main character and she has zero self reflection to see the damage that she’s causing here. I’ve said before that I don’t think Jake’s actions were a romantic deal breaker and that stands out now more than ever after reading Eclipse. THIS is the moment that Bella realizes she’s in love with Jake too. Smeyer not only sees abuse and aggression as romantic, she also lacks the braincells and reflection to see that she’s playing directly into racist stereotypes. Edward got to grow up- marginally- but Jake had to remain aggressive. I still don’t think she ever once meant to villify Jake- I think that there was no way in a hell a racist woman could ever successfully portray an indigenous character. His tenderness is tainted by the aggression she forces on his character and in the end he never had a chance because- again- he was being written by a racist woman with fucked up views of indigenous people.

8. Okay, I get it. They’re like Cathy and Heathcliff. Fine. I buy it.  

This isn’t even the last time she compares them to Cathy and Heathcliff. Kate Bush isn’t gonna write a song about you, meyer! Give it a rest! (Also lol at “like wuthering heights”)

9.  Jumping right to the end here because to be completely honest the only actual event in the entire book was the newborn battle. Jane was a bitch, fine. Edward talked at Victoria and bored her to death (presumably) and the action never felt very action heavy. I knew if from the “best friend (and werewolf)” line that this book was presumably written for idiots given how little is left to the imagination at any given time. I can’t stand when books treat the audience like dummies and I especially can’t handle YA books that do this. Teenagers aren’t stupid!! Young adults can pick up on subtlety in literature!! AND young adults can handle suspense and action. smeyer doesn’t do either well and the editors never once said “hey you know teens aren’t stupid right? like your audience will pick up on hints that you scatter you don’t have to forcefully explain everything?”  

10. Smeyer can’t stop interrupting herself even in the very last sentence of the book proper:

What, pray tell, is wrong with “Where it would stay for the rest of eternity.” Why did you have to sow doubt in the sentiment right after Bella made her For Real Final Decision???? And why the em-dash!? Again: the editors of the twilight saga are my nemeses but also my favorite conmen. What were they paid for?

11. Back to the editors real quick: if i was given a draft of eclipse I would instantly say: this story is almost 400 pages of nothing, you need to play with the structure of the story. You need to build suspense and if that means playing with POV like you randomly start doing in the epilogue, then do that. Or you can play with the plot. Nothing happens for 300 pages. It takes 300 pages to get to the newborn battle and nothing that happens before the newborn battle makes me feel worried about it. Again, kill off some humans, raise the stakes, do SOMETHING. This was so painfully slow to read because meyer tried to center this book on a love triangle that I didn’t even believe in myself. And even then, it took 14 chapters for the love triangle to get real action (as in an Event, not necessarily physical action). 

12. The epilogue. Oh man. Was the r-slur really so acceptable in 2007 that not one single editor questioned its use? I won’t type the quote in full but Jake refers to his fake arm sling as r-word. Like??? What? And THEN smeyer has him call Leah a “bitter harpy.” Shut up. 

In conclusion, nothing felt like a bigger waste of time than Eclipse. Genuinely, to be completely honest. Two (2) important things happened, at least in Bella’s narrative (I agree with Vinelle that the Volturi debacle was important from Carlisle’s perspective, it adds nothing to Bellas and Bella learns nothing important from it.): 1. Bella made a decision, she chose Edward. Who could have seen that coming? Whaaaat? 2. Rosalie told Bella her backstory. Not that Bella even used that to reflect on her decision to become a vampire but hey, at least it felt like an important moment. Jasper’s backstory only mattered for the newborn battle which didn’t matter at all (and it never informed his character and no one ever brings up that the confederacy was a terrible dark stain on US history (along with the rest of US history but that’s a full dissertation or two on its own)). I can’t imagine a way to improve this book as a standalone book. You could split up the plot (using that term loosely) so that New Moon and BD are both a little longer and BD a little more organized. But without completely changing the plot beats in Eclipse, its just pointless.

[crabapples-onthefloor]

Bella Hadid is being accused of anti-semitism by the State of Israel itself, specially for joining in the chant “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” in a protest against the resurgence of Israeli violence towards Palestinians in Gaza and East Jerusalem. “From the river to the sea,..” meaning The American Jewish Committee has it in their “Translate Hate” glossary and says “It calls for the establishment of a State of Palestine from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea, erasing the State of Israel and its people.” But their assumption that the establishment of a free Palestine demands erasing the people of Israel is in direct conflict with the words of Yasser Arafat, former chairman of the PLO. He told the UN in 1974 “when we speak of our common hopes for the Palestine of tomorrow we include in our perspective all Jews now living in Palestine who choose to live with us there in peace and without discrimination.” Have people used this slogan to be anti-semitic? Of course, there are extremists who don’t have as open hopes for the future of the country, but they don’t represent the views of most Palestinians, and it’s not substantiated that that was the intent behind the protesters last week. The origin of this ‘translation’ of the slogan actually has a distinct history coming from the founder of the PLO, Ahmad al-Shuqayri. In 1967, before the Six Days War, he held a press conference where a Lebanese paper reported him saying that in the case of an Arab victory new Jewish settlers would be helped to return to their native countries overseas and any surviving Israeli-born Jewish people could remain, though later sources often allege he wished to “throw Jews into the sea”. Either way (I don’t mean to dismisss the severity of that statement, it is horrible), after he became known for the latter remark, Palestinian groups like the Palestinian Students Union demanded his resignation. He was forced to step down althought denied to his death ever having said it. There absolutely are bigots who feel their anti-semitism is excused when talking about Palestine, but as the Jewish-American newspaper Forward reported: “Dismissing or ignoring what this phrase means to the Palestinians is yet another means by which to silence Palestinian perspectives. Citing only Hamas leaders’ use of the phrase, while disregarding the liberationist context in which other Palestinians understand it, shows a disturbing level of ignorance about Palestinians’ views at best, and a deliberate attempt to smear their legitimate aspirations at worst.”
Sources “From the River to the Sea”: #TranslateHate. AJC. (2021, April 26). https://www.ajc.org/translatehate/From-the-River-to-the-Sea. Nassar, Maha. “Opinion: ‘From The River To The Sea’ Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means.” The Forward, 3 Dec. 2018, forward.com/opinion/415250/from-the-river-to-the-sea-doesnt-mean-what-you-think-it-means/. Shemesh, Moshe. “Did Shuqayri Call for ‘Throwing the Jews into the Sea’?” Israel Studies, vol. 8, no. 2, 2003, pp. 70–81. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/30247797. Accessed 19 May 2021. Additional perspective Article by an Israel-American journalist on why she doesn’t support Israeli nationalism: https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2017/05/02/my-sons-israeli-preschool-is-covered-in-flags-this-week-i-cant-stand-it/ “In some preschools, Israeli soldiers come and speak to 3-year-olds on Memorial Day, essentially inaugurating their militarization process with national role models. Indoctrinating Israeli schoolchildren with a narrative that ignores the occupation not only leaves no hope for a peaceful future; it also insults their intelligence. After five decades, any responsible educator who wants to wave the Israeli flag should at least note that there are 6.7 million Palestinians living between the river and the sea who that flag excludes.” post edited after comment from @erein0n

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE CULLEN CAR PROFILES IN THE GUIDE: PART 1

So I finished reading the Cullen Cars section in the Guide, and guys it is PAINFUL how obviously this was written by, not just a motorhead, but a car nerd.

This section, obviously, was written by Meyer's brother, Jacob. And the end-result was exactly what I was afraid of: each one reads like it was copy-pasted from the promotion pamphlets.

The entries on the more day-to-day cars are full of car-jargon like "lateral acceleration" and "front-biased weight distribution", without telling the reader in any fun way or layman's terms what any of that means, common sense aside. We've all had to listen to a car buff drone at some point and this is that. These entries are just slightly overly technical and don't actually say much about the cars' personalities.

He calls the Porsche "seemingly less race[ing]-inspired" than more expensive super cars, but one of the biggest ways Porsche made a name for themselves was with the original 911's and it was on EUROPEAN RACING STAGES. WTH!!!

WORST OF ALL, THOUGH, are the entries on Edward's Aston Martin and Bella's Ferrari. These are full of goo-goo eyed, rose tinted drivel. It is telling, to me, that these more highly engineered cars don't get much of an info dump about their suspension or advanced technology or any of the stuff we got with the daily drivers. With Edward's Aston we get things like

"... a car that has the looks, performance and competence of a true sports car, while offering enough luxury to call into into question its sporting nature."

And

"While technically (Dude. what? "Technically"? I'm sorry?) a sports car, the British-made Aston is the proper gentleman of the group... made in true British style, every ounce of this car alludes to old-world money, power and manners."

He also calls it merely "competent on racetrack and says its better as a high-performance cruiser when, like, no bro. This was supposed to be the shouty racer and the DB9 is the high performance luxury GT (Grand Tour) car. You utter pillock.

Now I'm not gonna argue any of the praise for the Ferrari because I feel more confident in that, from the testimony of people who've owned one. It was at the time (And may still be, if you aren't that dazzled by the 458) the best car in the world.

That said look at this:

"The car's beautifully designed lines and curves remind the viewer more of classical Italian sculpture than anything related to transportation."

LOL. Now don't get me wrong the Ferrari F430 is a very pretty car.

Not everyone thinks so (and to be fair, once you see the "Smile" in the front end, you can't unsee it), but I do. BUT EVEN I, AN ADMIRER OF THE FANCY CARS, do not think that is, in any way, more related to art than driving. PUH-LEASE. That is a very beautiful car, but it is still just a car. If you want to talk about a car being more closely related to Italian sculpture that transportation, then go find an Alfa Romeo fawn over. Because that really is all they're good for.

Because the thing is, Ferrari are kind of like... how do I wanna put this. Okay well let's say Ferrari are the Gryffindor of the car world. Everyone wants to be a Ferrari owner. They have a long pedigree and they, historically and presently make great cars with all the latest advancements and technology. They're like a black dress or a red rose - no one will argue with the classics. But to me at least, they kind of lack... well, personality. It's kind of taken for granted that a Ferrari is gonna be the best car in any given line-up, without anyone ever actually explaining why. It might be, I think, that Ferrari have become a bit overrated. That's not to say that Ferrari shouldn't be given due respect, especially for something like the F430, but here's where I have an issue.

In my Cullen Car post about Bella's Ferrari, I posed the question: was the Ferrari chosen for Bella because it both captures how Edward has always seen Bella, even before she was strong and beautiful in her own estimation, and because it's user friendly, easy to get the best out of it, and actually, surprisingly, suits her personality pretty well As flashy as the F430 seems at first glance, in it's sleek, low-slung, super car way, it still looks purposeful. It's not ostentatious, other than that it's red. It doesn't over-do it in the way, say, a Lamborghini does. It's not out to grab attention, it's here to do what it loves and is good at and that's driving.

Unfortunately, it turns out my concern was justified, because what Jacob's profile on the F430 has confirmed for me is that Bella's Ferrari was chosen simply because it was the prettiest, most impressive "best" car on the market at the time. Had Breaking Dawn taken place in 2010, it would have been a 458, and that's sad - because that truly wouldn't have suited Bella at all.

Look at it.

I think all of this is because, and this is just speculation, but I'll be willing to bet that Jacob's never actually driven any of these cars. The way it goes with most car enthusiasts, I think, is that we see these super fancy, beautiful cars (these in the pantheon of Super/Hyper half-million dollar cars) and we treat them like celebrities. We form opinions based on their looks, we read reviews of them in Car and Driver and things like that, and from the makers themselves - all venues designed, at the end of the day, to sell them.

I've admitted that a lot of my opinions are formed from watching Top Gear and maybe that doesn't make me any better, but what I like about the reviews done by people like Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond is that they don't skimp on pointing out faults as well as favors, even on cars they love and respect, and they always do it in an entertaining way that holds my attention and gives a sense of personality beyond the car's looks and what their manufacturers say they can do. I can't say I would totally agree with their opinions if I ever did get a chance to drive any of these cars, but I at least I can feel some trust in their experience; and they do discuss all these cars in comparison to other contemporaries, and a lot of the time they disagree too, and that gives me more perspective to work with.

Because, like celebrities, even Ferraris have faults. Just because it's a hugely respected brand, like Aston Martin, doesn't mean that every aspect of that car is gonna be faultless and brilliant. Jacob never mentions the Vanquish's shitty gearbox because Jacob has probably never had to deal with it. Neither have I, but I think a certain degree of circumspection is warranted.

I've spiraled a bit here, I didn't intend to be so long winded, but I'm passionate about this. I'm gonna cut off here and do a part 2.

[onegayastronaut]

A New Beginning (Rosalie Cullen x Reader)

Requested by anon: Would you be okay with writing an imagine for Twilight/Harry Potter, where the reader's a Muggleborn Witch who moves to Forks to try and escape Death Eaters during the war and is found to be Rosalie's mate?

Word count: 2701

After the initial fight with Voldemort, the group that you were with decided that it would be best to spread out and go into hiding. There were heavy casualties on both sides, but the fact remained that there were far more Death Eaters than you could handle. It would be wise to live to fight another day than to die right then and there. All of you got the same magical brand on your arm so you could signal each other if you wanted to gather together as a group. However, now all of you had to Dissaparate as quickly as possible before the Death Eaters found your group.

After leaving, you decided that moving to the United States would be the wisest way to go. Europe was crawling with Death Eaters, with the number joining their ranks growing by the day. You reasoned that it would be smarter to live and fight another day than to die without leaving anyone else to continue the fight. After promising to keep in touch with what few members of the Order were left, you apparated to the state of Washington with a suitcase of money. Even though it would have been smarter to go to a large city where you could easily get lost in the crowd, the fact of the matter was that there was a bigger chance that Voldemort’s poison might have found its way to the larger cities in the US. At least here in the small city of Forks, you were sure there weren’t any Death Eaters who would bother to stop here. Sure, being the latest stranger in town meant that you’d get your fair share of stares from the locals, but getting stared at was better than having anyone trying to kill you.

As soon as you landed in Forks, you noticed that the weather was almost as gloomy as winter weather in England. You rummaged in your pocket and managed to find a few American bills in your pocket. You also found a few pounds and Galleons which you could not use now you were in the United States and headed towards the closest restaurant you could find.

To say that Americans liked to stare was an understatement. It seemed as if everyone at Forks came here during the breakfast rush, and you could feel all eyes glued to you as you stepped in. Everything about you seemed to be different – from your overcoat to your polished leather shoes. You cleared your throat awkwardly as you sat down in the seat closest to the door. After a moment of awkward silence, everyone shifted back to their regular conversations.

“How can I help you, dear?” A nice looking lady came over with a coffee pot in her hand.

“I wanted to know if you had any lodging here for newcomers. I’d also like some coffee.”

“Of course, dear. We have a motel for people who are new here, and I’m sure there are residents here who are willing to share or rent their houses to new people like yourself.”

“That would be great. Could you point me in the direction of the motel?” The lady pointed down the street, and you could manage to see the faint sign of what seemed to be the only motel in town. The waitress had already given you your coffee, and you stood up to go.

America was almost like England, but everything seemed more…plain for some reason. You sighed and continued walking. England will always be home, but you couldn’t think of that now. All that could be done was to regroup and hope that one day you would be able to go back home. As you focused your attention back on the street, you noticed two people standing in front of you, though it seemed strange to call them people. It was a man and woman, with the woman having a girlish quality to her while the man looked like he was sizing you up as you walked toward them. There was something different about the way they looked: there was the beautiful, graceful way they stood there with their golden eyes watching you. Even though it was very cold outside, they seemed to be dressed in very light clothing.

“Hey guys, I’m looking for the motel here.”

“Look, Jasper, this is the lady that I saw in my vision. Even her voice is how I imagined it.” The shorter woman looked excited to see you.

“We can’t trust her. She’s new here to Forks. If we interact with her now, it might expose us to the surrounding neighborhood, and we can’t have that. We’ve always been very careful about who we let in, there’s no reason to change that now. We must talk to Carlisle about her before we bring her along with us.”

“Look, I have no idea who or what you’re talking about. I’m just here for the motel, not to bother anyone.” You reached under your coat and gripped your wand. Has Voldemort already reached the United States? It seemed improbable that his reach could have reached across the pond so quickly, but you couldn’t be too careful.

“You can take your hand out from your pocket you know.” The short lady skipped over to you and put her arm over your shoulders. “My name is Alice, and this is my mate, Jasper. We live here in Forks, and we are –”

“Alice, no.” Jasper’s jaw clenched, and he seemed upset at whatever Alice was about to say.

“You are what?” At this point, you couldn’t tell if they were both crazy or if there was something else going on in this little town you picked.

“We’re vampires. I had a vision of you joining us in the very near future, which is why I was waiting for you here. I just dragged Jasper along with me today because I got bored standing here all by myself.” Alice talked very fast, and after she was done it seemed as if she had lifted a weight off from her back.

After a period of silence, you let out a bark of laughter and started heading off towards the motel. “You really expect me to believe all of that? There’s no such thing as vampires. You’re out of your mind, lady.”

“One can also argue that there’s no such thing as wizards or witches either.” Alice’s statement stopped you in your tracks, and you spun around.

“What do you know about that?”

“Not much until I had my vision about you. It all made sense afterward, since I suspect you kept your presence a secret for many of the same reasons as we allowed humans to think that vampires and werewolves are just myths.”

“Do you mean to tell me that there are werewolves here too?”

“There’s a pack of them just on the outskirts of town.” Jasper finally spoke, and he moved to stand next to Alice. “We have an understanding with them. They don’t come into our territory, and we stay out of theirs.”

“How do I know you’re telling me the truth?”

“Try a spell on me.” Alice moved to the center of the sidewalk and looked at you. “Don’t worry, no one is coming by for the next three and a half minutes.”

You looked around to confirm that the street was empty and took out your wand. After a second of hesitation, you raised and prepared to stun her. “Stupefy!” You saw the spell hit Alice, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on her. This was like nothing you had experienced before, and you tried again. The spell hit Alice square in the chest but she didn’t even flinch.

“Okay, my turn.” You didn’t even see Alice move but in less than a second, she had snatched your wand from your hand and returned to her original place. “What was the spell again? Stupefy?” The wand let out the spell and knocked out a power line. Alice hurriedly returned the wand to you, and you returned the wand back into your pocket. “So, do you believe us now?”

“I do, but that doesn’t give me a reason to trust you.”

“You’re running from something. You’re scared and don’t know who to trust.” Jasper tilted his head and looked away from you. “I believe Alice and I know exactly how that feels. Our family knows what it means to live under the radar and not be noticed.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Let’s just say that knowing how people feel is my specialty.”

“How about you come with us and see how things go? If you don’t like it with us, you’re free to leave.

The house that the Cullens lived in was surprisingly modern considering the fact that Forks was not a modern town. Literally having all the time in the world meant that there were no limitations when it came to earning money.

When you walked through the door, the first person to welcome you was a motherly looking woman. “(Y/N), we are so happy to meet you. I’m Esme.”

“Not to be rude, but how do you know my name?”

“Alice has told us that there would be someone new joining us soon. She didn’t tell us much of anything else about you.”

A man with golden hair came up behind Esme. “My name is Carlisle, and this is my family. Welcome to our home.” He gestured at four other members of his family. “I see you’ve already met Alice and Jasper.”

“Yes, I did. It’s so strange to know that vampires are real.”

“I would argue that all myths have a basis in reality. As a witch, I suspect that you would have your own perspective on how human society, in general, portrays the magical world.”

As Carlisle was talking, the other vampires had come down the stairs and came to introduce themselves. There was Edward, Bella, Emmett and Rosalie in addition to Alice and Jasper. You noticed that Rosalie was hanging back from everyone else and refused to look at you. She seemed to give off a cold air towards you, but you didn’t know why. Shrugging it off, you reasoned that maybe that was just the way she was. You were here to lay low and regroup, not to make friends.

--

As weeks turned into months, you felt like you finally got the hang of living in Forks. Emmett was by far the most fun person to hang out with in your opinion, and Edward was working on teaching you how to play the piano. Being the only person to eat food could be awkward at times, but Carlisle reassured you that you gave them a reason to use the kitchen and act like a normal family by going out to get groceries. The threat of Voldemort still hung over your head, but being with the Cullen family made you feel almost normal. You’ve talked to Carlisle about the real reason why you ended up in Forks, and he agreed to bring this issue to the attention of the Denali coven and figure out a solution. The only person that you didn’t have that much contact with was Rosalie. You still didn’t understand what her deal was since you had done nothing to offend her.

One of the best things that came out of meeting the Cullens was that you could now say you played the piano. Edward was very satisfied with your progress and told you that you were ready for harder pieces. “Edward, why does Rosalie hate me so much?”

“She doesn’t hate you, (Y/N).”

“Then why is she the only one in your family that avoids me?”

“Go talk to her. I know that you want answers, but I believe that it would be best for her to tell you herself.”

“Can’t you read people’s minds? Just tell me why she doesn’t like me.”

“It’s not for me to say. Just tell her, she’s nicer than you think.”

--

Even though everyone lived in the same house, it was still hard to get ahold of someone who seemed to be actively avoiding you. The house was bigger than it looked from the street, and it seemed as if Rosalie was hiding out in the very back in an effort to avoid talking to you.

“Hey Rosalie.”

“Hi.”

“I wanted to talk to you about what’s been going on between us.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes, there is. I just don’t know why you’ve been so cold towards me but get jealous when I say I went out on a date with someone. For whatever reason, you’ve decided to dislike me from the moment I got here, and I don’t even know why!”

Rosalie finally turned around to look at you, and she actually seemed embarrassed for some reason. “I’ve been avoiding you because you’re my mate, and I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you! I know that humans wouldn’t truly understand what it means to be a vampire’s mate. That’s why I’ve been distant from you.”

“Is that your way of saying you like me?”

“It’s more than that. I don’t know how much you know about mating when it comes to vampires, but I would do anything for you.”

“Is it like the werewolf imprinting thing? Jacob was explaining that to me the other day.”

“Don’t compare us to that species of dog. Vampires are more refined than that. But yes, it’s similar in the sense that we know who we’re meant to be with as soon as we see them. It’s a bond that lasts forever.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say, but that one word you managed to get out sounded so lame that you immediately felt the heat of embarrassment rise to your face.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, and it’s fine if you need some time to think about it.”

“I don’t think I’ll mind if we started to date, you know. It definitely helps that you’re really good looking.”

“Oh wow, is that all you’ve gotten for me in the last few months?”

“No, no! I didn’t mean that. You’re a really interesting person, you know.”

“Hmm, I’m sure.” Rosalie came close to you faster than you could react and kissed you on the cheek. “If that’s the case, I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow night. Dress up because we’re going somewhere nice.” She left you standing in the middle of the room with your mouth hanging open.

Before you could gather your senses, you heard a slow clapping come from behind you. Emmett came into view with a devilish smirk. “It looks like the newest member of the Cullen family is finally about to get some action.”

“Oh, stop it, Emmett.” Alice skipped in glaring at Emmett. “We’re going to be busy getting you ready for your first date tomorrow.”

“Wait, did you see this happening before?”

“Yes, I did. Why do you think Jasper and I were waiting for you months ago? I knew you were going to be joining our family right before you came here.”

“Well, before we get to that, there’s the issue of why I came here. Voldemort is still a threat, and I’m concerned he’s going to bring his influence here to the United States.”

“Don’t worry about that, (Y/N).” Alice’s voice was muffled by the stack of clothes she already had in her arms. “Carlisle is already at the Denali’s talking about your issue, and besides, you already know many of your spells have little to no effect on us vampires. Of course, we don’t know how the forbidden curses might affect us, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I have no doubt that the Denali coven will agree to help us fight against this Voldemort. Now try on these clothes, I need to see if you look good in them.”

You sighed in resignation as you moved to take the clothes from Alice. It seems even the talk of Voldemort couldn’t distract Alice from having her way when it came to new clothes.

[the-citrus-scale]

In Defense Of Edward Cullen

Twilight fans around the world are rejoicing because Midnight Sun, the unfinished retelling of the saga from vampire Edward Cullen’s perspective, finally has a release date. As we all begin to revisit one of our favorite stories in all of its forms, and as we wait for Edward’s opinion on the tumultuous events of his romance with human Bella Swan, I’m also reminded that Edward often gets a very bad rap from both fans and haters alike. While I’m not saying that all his behavior is defensible, I’d like to land on the side of him being more good than bad, and take this moment to point out that you cannot remove the fact that he is a vampire from the equation when putting his actions into context throughout the series.

Edward has been alone, at least in a romantic sense, for over 100 years by the time he meets Bella in Twilight. While he has a loving family, he has been living around their perfect pairings. When they go off for private time with each other, he’s left alone with his thoughts, and that’s not a great place for him to be. While Edward has mostly managed to ignore his vampiric urges when it comes to feeding on humans, he still thinks that he is inherently an evil monster with no soul. Think about how anxious you might feel if you’ve had a bad day or if you feel like you’ve failed at something, and multiply that by 100 years of no sleep, being mentally overwhelmed because you can read minds, and being left alone with your extremely dark thoughts. It’s no wonder he’s in a bad place when he meets Bella.

Additionally, Edward has no idea what to do in a romantic situation. He was human in the early 1900s, when courtship was very different, so he has no idea how to date from a modern perspective. And, of course, he’s thrown off by the fact that he’s a vampire and Bella is a human. His family’s partners were either turned by them or other members of the family before they were romantically involved, or met when they were already vampires. He has absolutely no frame of reference for a vampire/human relationship except that it’s a bad idea because vampires naturally want to eat humans. It’s fairly natural that he gets extremely awkward when trying to figure out how to interact with Bella. There is also another layer of difficulty added because Edward can’t read Bella’s mind. Most of his interactions with humans are informed by knowing their thoughts so he can react in the correct way, and he loses that advantage with Bella, which leads him to seek out other ways to learn more about her without just talking to her because he’s trying not to get her hopes up.

I’m not going to defend Edward for sneaking into Bella’s room and watching her sleep at night. That’s definitely weird, all right? The only reason fans forgive him for this is because we retroactively realize that he never meant her any harm, and didn’t cause any. Bella also forgives him for this particular behavior, giving him a sort of backwards consent to have watched her. Yes, it’s problematic, because that’s not really the way it works, but since nothing bad came of it, we gloss over it, and frankly, we’re going to continue to do so.

Most of the issues people have with Edward actually come after the whole watching Bella sleep thing. For the rest of Twilight, he’s on his best behavior, and goes to great lengths to protect Bella. Even in New Moon, he only leaves her because he’s trying to make things better for her. It’s really in Eclipse when all of the stuff people question starts. So let���s make a quick list and tackle these all at once. People don’t like that they feel like Edward keeps Bella away from her other friends, particularly Jacob. He doesn’t want her to be alone with Jacob or any of the werewolves, especially because he isn’t allowed to venture into their territory, so he can’t protect her while she’s there. They also feel that Edward coerces Bella into marrying him by denying her sex and the promise of him being the one to turn her into a vampire. And they have serious issues with him wanting to get rid of their baby when Bella discovers she’s pregnant in Breaking Dawn.

I get it. When you look at these actions out of context like this, they all seem bad. But when you add in all of the vampire and werewolf stuff, Edward’s actions make a lot more sense. First of all, Bella never really has friends in Forks. She has at least a month to make friends before she really gets wrapped up in the mystery of Edward and starts to fall in love with him, and it never really happens, despite the fact that there are many receptive candidates. Yes, later, Bella has to be careful of what she says because she can’t reveal Edward’s vampiric status to the world, but that is not what creates a barrier between Bella and other people. She never had friends in Phoenix either, so this is not a situation Edward creates. Jacob is really Bella’s closest friend besides the Cullens, especially after the events of New Moon. But even in terms of Jacob, Edward’s behavior isn’t unnecessarily controlling. Edward is worried that Jacob, or any of the other werewolves, will not be able to control themselves and hurt Bella, and his fear is not unfounded. Emily was scarred by Sam when he changed unexpectedly, and Sam loves Emily more than anything. He never wanted to hurt her, but he did anyway. And a werewolf doesn’t even have to be mad at someone to erupt. They can just be too emotional, and whoever happens to be standing next to them is going to bear the physical brunt of that emotion. Edward is jealous of Jacob, yes, but he trusts Bella. It’s just that he doesn’t want her to get hurt. Also, he is 100% on Bella’s side when Jacob kisses her against her will, and I think he should get a lot of credit for that.

Finally, we come to the issue of Edward and Bella’s half-vampire baby. When Edward realizes that Bella is pregnant, he is terrified, and rightfully so. Even Carlisle didn’t know that a vampire/human pregnancy was possible, and that’s saying something, since he has centuries of medical knowledge related to both the natural and supernatural. Edward is afraid that the baby will be an uncontrollable monster like an immortal child, because that’s the only example he has to go on. He can also eventually see the very real medical evidence that the baby is killing Bella. Once Edward realizes that the baby isn’t a monster, he is entirely on board with Bella waiting to give birth before she becomes a vampire, even though he’s still worried about her. If Bella were having a human baby, he never would have thought twice about her keeping it. The only reason he protested was because he had literally no idea what they were dealing with. His reaction is entirely fair.

Is Edward a perfect romantic hero? Of course he’s not. Honestly, most romantic heroes aren’t perfect. But I think he gets a worse reputation than he deserves. Maybe some will go easier on him after we hear in his take this upcoming August. Maybe not. Either way, I’m excited to experience his story all over again, because while it might not be perfect, it is perfectly happy.