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auburnfamilynews · 6 years ago

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The Tigers will host five more top targets this weekend in an effort to close out the 2019 cycle strong.

It’s plenty busy on the recruiting trail right now. Auburn coaches are traveling all over the country (more on that later) visiting not only their top targets in the 2019 class but future classes as well. Offers are flying out daily to top level 2020, 2021 and yes even the occasional 2022 prospects. This is typically one of the busiest times of the recruiting cycle as coaching staffs attempt to put the final touches on their signing class and start building momentum for next year.

Official Visitors

Like last weekend, Auburn is expecting five official visitors on campus over the next couple of days. Unlike last weekend, I think there’s a VERY good chance the Tigers add a commitment by Monday. Here’s a look at who is expected on campus later this evening.

4* ATH John Rhys Plumlee | 6’1” | 185 lbs | Hattiesburg, MS | UGA Commit

This was the big surprise of the week. The longtime Dawg commit may have lost his place in that class when UGA pulled off a late flip of former Ohio State QB commit Dwan Mathis during the early signing period. There’s been rumors in recent weeks that Plumlee is being asked to blueshirt (explanation of a blueshirt) which may have put the talented athlete back on the market.

Interestingly, Plumlee prefers to play QB in college and that’s where Auburn is reportedly recruiting him to play. Now could this be a Jason Smith like situation where Auburn allows him a shot at QB before convincing him to slide elsewhere? We will see but it could also mean the staff expects some attrition at the QB position this spring especially when you consider the attempts to evaluate graduate transfer options.

As for Plumlee’s talents, he’s a big time athlete. He could play QB, WR or DB at the next level and is also a terrific baseball player. Plumlee is very quick, able to change directions at a moments notice and has outstanding top end speed that makes him a threat to score anytime he touches the ball. He’s got some Manziel to his game at the QB position in that he’s at his best in the midst of chaos. With a quick trigger and quick feet, he can get himself out of trouble in a hurry and be an all around headache for defenses. Plumlee would definitely give Auburn a dual threat option at QB. Given the signing of Nix though I expect Plumlee’s future at Auburn would be either at slot WR or safety. Ole Miss and Mississippi State are thought to be the teams to watch heading into this weekend. It will be interesting to see if the Tigers can make a strong late push for another elite Mississippi prospect.

3* DT LeDarrius Cox | 6’5” | 300 lbs | Mobile, AL | Tennessee Commit

For months now the thought has been that Cox would eventually land in Auburn’s class. Despite being committed to Tennessee, he’s 100% predicted to the Tigers via 247’s Crystal Ball feature. But as this recruitment has gone on the likelihood of that flip seems to have gone down. Publicly, Cox continues to say all the right things as a committed prospect but he’s set to make two huge visits in the coming weekend. This week its Auburn, next week its Ole Miss. If either of those programs plan on making a big move, now is the time.

Would Auburn take both Cox and 4* DL Charles Moore if they wanted on board? No idea outside of Moore 100% has a spot. VERY interested to see what news comes out on this young man after his visit this weekend.

3* OT Ira Henry | 6’5” | 320 lbs | St. Louis, MO

I’ve been waiting for some new OT names to pop up and yesterday one finally did. Henry has become one of the most sought after prospects on the trail late this cycle with Florida, Florida State and now Auburn hard after his signature. Henry took an official visit to the Gators this past weekend but its the Noles to keep an eye on. They have plenty of playing time to sell and Henry has considered FSU is “dream offer”.

Henry’s senior tape is not available but what you see on his junior film is a guy that can move despite his size and someone with A LOT of power in his punch. At times he can be a little overly reliant on the fact he’s just bigger and stronger than his opponent but I love how light on his feet he is at 320 lbs and his ability to finish. The Tigers need help at the OT spot for 2020 and beyond. Henry would sure help in that regard.

3* LB Christopher Russell | 6’1” | 228 lbs | Dyersburg, TN

Once a Memphis commit, Russell has become one of the top targets for a number of SEC programs. He’s already officially visited Texas A&M, will be on the Plains this weekend and has visits still scheduled for Arkansas and Tennessee later this month. The Hogs were thought to be the leaders in this race at one point but now it’s the Vols who have picked up the intensity after losing JUCO LB commit Lakia Henry.

Russell is a thumper and a clear MLB at the next level. While he doesn’t necessarily face the strongest of competition, he dominates like he should at that level. I have some questions about his speed but there’s no denying that inside the box he’s a force to be reckoned with. Auburn has made him a clear priority in recent weeks and will attempt to make a major move in his recruitment this weekend.

2* ATH Kameron Brown | 6’0” | 222 lbs | Buford, GA

I will be stunned if Brown is not on Auburn’s commit list by Monday morning. The younger brother of super star defensive tackle Derrick Brown, Kameron has spent most of his recruitment trying to convince schools to take a chance on him despite his size and slow 40 time. He finished second in the state of Georgia in tackles in 2018 with 205 and does carry two offers from strong FCS programs UT Chattanooga and Furman. But no FBS schools had come calling just yet.

Until now....

The Tigers offered Brown on January 8th just a few days before his older brother announced that he was returning to school. Interestingly, Auburn is reportedly recruiting him as an athlete. While he might get a shot at linebacker, his future might actually be at the 3-back (H-Back) position. If that’s the case, the future of that position continues to be confusing considering all the different type of athletes the Tigers have signed in recent seasons. That aside, Auburn would be getting a talented young man with a serious chip on his shoulder ready to prove his worth if he were to commit this weekend. Everyone that has spent time with the young man only have really positive things to say about his effort, attitude and leadership.

Curious Case of Dylan Jordan

One target that will not be on campus this weekend is 3* LB Dylan Jordan out of Pittsburg, KS. He recently became a top target for the Tigers and as late as Wednesday evening was expected to visit the Plains this weekend. But yesterday he surprised everyone by announcing he will instead take an official visit to TCU.

So it’s official, this weekend I’ll be taking an OV in Fort Worth pic.twitter.com/Ygp631MMu2

— DJ3️⃣ (@thedylanjordan_) January 17, 2019

Now the Horned Frogs were the originally scheduled destination before Auburn began their push but Jordan told numerous Auburn reporters he was going to the Plains instead. But the TCU staff visited him on Wednesday and apparently convinced him to go back to his original plans. Jordan has stated he wants to commit on January 28th in the past so the Tigers will need to scramble to get him on campus if they want to make a serious move in his recruitment. As of today, TCU and Utah appear to be the top schools to watch. But don’t expect Travis Williams to go down without a fight in this battle.

Interesting Early 2020 Note

Watching offers roll in over the past week for future classes, something interesting caught my eye. Auburn had offered two OTs from the state of Arizona. After some digging I found something interesting.

Interesting note on 2020 recruiting Auburn has already offered 5 players from Arizona in next year's class Auburn offered a total of 4 players in the 2013-2019 classes combined from Arizona Why the change? Dillingham grew up/coached in Arizona

— AUNerd (@AUSportsNerd) January 18, 2019

For those unfortunate folks who have Twitter blocked at their workplace, Auburn has offered 5 players in the 2020 class from the state of Arizona. They offered a total of 4 from 2013-2019 per 247’s “Offers” feature. The link? Auburn’s new offensive coordinator and QB coach Kenny Dillingham.

Auburn’s newest staff addition grew up in the state of Arizona, coached high school football there AND landed his first collegiate gig as a grad assistant for Mike Norvell at Arizona State. Pretty clear he has some connections in the area. In the 2019 class, we’ve seen the clear effect Marcus Woodson’s addition to the staff has had on the trail. All of a sudden Mississippi is a place Auburn can recruit again. Might Dillingham open up some options further west?

Maybe.... Arizona is a bit of a different beast than Mississippi but it’s still something interesting to monitor as we head into a new recruiting cycle. Whether anything materializes in these recruitments is still to be seen and I sure as heck ain’t expecting Auburn to open up a pipeline to the Copper State but I also wouldn’t be shocked if there’s someone a little further west is listed on Auburn’s signee list in 2020.

Tim Horton Impact

Earlier this week, DesertWeagle made the accurate observation in the comment section that we really haven’t talked much about the Tim Horton news on this site. Honestly, I haven’t had much of an opinion on it because I want to see how it plays out. Is he going to take Patrick Suddes old role and become the big picture/right hand man guy for Gus? Or is this Scott Fountain 2.0 and he pops up somewhere else as an on field coach. Neither move would surprise me and until Gus brings in a new RB coach it’s hard to really speculate on the impact moving forward.

However, I will say that Horton doesn’t get as much respect as he should as a recruiter. It’s not as simple as position coach gets all the guys for his position. Often times, it’s the area recruiter that lays the groundwork for top targets. Horton is a very big reason why Auburn has found success in the Tampa and Birmingham areas under Gus Malzahn. His biggest pull was obviously Kerryon Johnson but he played an important role for guys like Austin Troxell and Nate-Craig Myers as well. His biggest impact in the 2019 class was his work on recently tabbed 4* RB DJ Williams who might end up making Horton look REALLY good in a few years.

But I also understand the move. Horton is a solid, not elite recruiter and the RB coach spot is a place where you can find one of those. You see what someone like Dell McGee is doing at Georgia and it’s hard not to feel like the Tigers could get more from that position on the staff. It will be VERY interesting to see who Gus brings in to replace Horton. He will inherit a talented RB room and replace some big shoes when it at least comes to pedigree in producing elite backs in this league.

War Eagle!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/1/18/18187784/2019-auburn-football-recruiting-another-busy-weekend-ahead-john-rhys-plumlee-kameron-brown

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

youtube

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

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Ajax return to the Cruyff ideologies as Peter Bosz results new generation

After touching aside Lyon in the Europa League semi-final first leg, the Dutch squad can scent a chance of a first European trophy in 22 years

It is a cold Thursday morning at Ajaxs De Toekomst complex, where the canteen doubleds as a trophy area, the sheer heavines of football insight can be overwhelming, and the atmosphere is unsurprisingly buoyant after the events of the previous evening at the Amsterdam Arena. Nothing is being taken for granted but Ajax can be excused for pity pleased to see themselves after their stunning act in the first leg of their Europa League semi-final. These reasons are supposed to be cagey, cautious liaisons and they have just torn up the write by beating a dangerous Lyon side 4-1.

Out on one of the tones, the team are doing a light-colored improvement discussion. The rondos are over and the time has come for some shooting pattern. Edwin van der Sar is watching from the touchline and the coach extending the sends is Dennis Bergkamp. One of the players to catch the eye is Justin Kluivert, a young winger who hinders finding the top angle with eerie calm.

It is a scene that summing-up up Ajaxs philosophy, with each reputation representing the a part of the clubs someone, and the past and present combining to create a brighter future. Bergkamp is the cerebral genius who ogles as if he could still do a job on the pitch, Van der Sar the former goalkeeper who has become an unlikely marketing expert and Kluivert the teenage son of the man who tallied the triumphing aim when Ajax won the last of their four European Cups by beating Milan 22 years ago.

The manager is abroad. Peter Bosz, who was so mesmerized by Ajax in the 90 s that he would drive from Rotterdam to Amsterdam to watch Louis van Gaals training sessions and whose principles developed from his heaving scrapbook of Johan Cruyff articles, expends the morning inside its term of office, pinpointing neighbourhoods for improvement before Thursday darkness second leg at Stade de Gerland.

He is worried. Alexandre Lacazette, Lyons star striker, is fit again after a thigh trauma. I already ascertained five or six times where if my champions accept like they were digesting yesterday, against Lacazette he will score, Bosz says. I have to show them.

Not many guilds can match this level of patrimony, which justifies the romance attached to the thrilling resurrection that has taken Ajax close to their first European final in 21 years, an achievement realise even more impressive by how they are staying true to their identity: seven members of the starting lineup against Lyon were 21 or under.

For the time being, of course, they cannot hope to take part in the latter stagecoaches of the Champions League. Van der Sar announces it a playground for the rich and famous and Ajax know to their cost how much money talks in the modern period, how market coerces have conspired against them and interested the most difficult squads in the richest leagues. For a society of the stature of Ajax, its been too long that we were away from the international platform, he says.

Edwin van der Sar, formerly a goalkeeper and now the CEO of Ajax, and the organization manager, Peter Bosz. Image: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

One of the most significant goalkeepers in Europe during his playing eras , now Van der Sar is one of the Ajax enormous striving to turn Cruyffs vision of how the game should be played into a reality. Bergkamp, Richard Witschge and Aron Winter are on the coaching personnel, and Marc Overmars is the technological director. Jaap Stam worked with the defenders before moving to Reading. He taught me how to use my limbs, Jol Veltman, a veteran in this crew at persons under the age of 25, says. I was too shy in struggles. He said dont smash-up in but use your arms.

They are a fascinating radical who regularly collaborate and debate football. There is no shortage of minds. Thats the entertaining event, Van der Sar says. It is not always easy but we speak as one voice. We have a technical heart.

Intriguingly, however, Van der Sars capacity is not on the pitching. Marketing, rather than coaching, appealed to him after he adjourned. Now the former Manchester United No1 is responsible for increasing Ajaxs financial competitiveness. They do situations differently here.

When I got a call from Johan Cruyff and Dennis Bergkamp two months after I retired, this is only the relevant recommendations that they had for the team, to accompany an ex-player into the directors power and eventually as the central male, he says. Those six years at United showed me what a club involves. You necessary commercial-grade revenue and revelation. I have brought that a bit, get three Chinese sponsors. Its trying to connect two worlds. Thats why we want a footballer as a CEO.

While Van der Sar watches instructing from great distances for 10 instants, Bosz eventually emerges from the main structure shortly after midday. He is looking like an inspired appointment. His predecessor, Frank de Boer, won the name in each of his first four seasons but Ajax faded in his final two safaruss and manufactured little impact in Europe. Bosz has energised the team since his arrival in the summer and is favourite, despite expend five years at Feyenoord as a player.

Ajaxs detested Rotterdam competitors are likely to triumph the Eredivisie, despite their 3-0 defeat at Excelsior last weekend. They are a spot above Ajax with one equal left but optimism crowds the Amsterdam Arena these days. Boszs young squad started nervily against Lyon but the noise never expired down during an tricky opening 20 times. The devotees cherish what they are watching.

Bosz cannot stand negative football. He was a defensive midfielder a destroyer but that is not his managerial mode. When I consider my team only defending and destroying like I did I will not enjoy it, he says. I made when Im on the bench at the least I will give myself a glad afternoon. If I grant myself a joyous afternoon, I can give it to the fans.

In an repetition of Pep Guardiolas Barcelona, Bosz privileges a feverish pressing competition. Barcelona have a three-second convention, he says. Were not Barcelona, so I make two seconds on.

Bosz chortles. The five-second govern is something that if you lose the pellet, this is the best moment to get the dance back again. The resist necessity more or less five seconds to get in the right points. We have to get wise back right away.

The 53 -year-old is an admirer of Guardiola. His favourite work is Pep Confidential, Marti Perarnaus account of Guardiolas first season at Bayern Munich. He learned from Guardiolas attention to detail, how he would work out in advance which resist actor was always free-spoken on the attack. I always thoughts Bayern Munich is such a strong team that you dont have to watch for the opponents for two or three days, Bosz says.

There are similarities between Bosz and Guardiola. Boszs pundits accept his high-risk programme asks for hardship but his principles have not changed since his first responsibility at lowly AGOVV, from where he went on to enjoy success at Heracles and Vitesse Arnhem.

What they call naive is that my defence was on the halfway cable with a lot of space at the back, Bosz says. But you have to organise really well. If you do that, you have the five-second rule. You lose the ball and press them immediately, then its possible. If you look at our concerts in Europe, yesterday was[ exclusively] the second duration “were having” confessed in our stadium.

That level of severity asks mental sharpness as well as physical fitness. Any player who permits his head to put after wealth is lost knows himself on Boszs wrong side. Dont be disappointed in yourself, he says. Dont be disappointed in your team-mate.You have to press. This is the moment. Not one participate. The whole team. If you do that privilege, you will not relinquish. We have young players, so when we lose the ball, in their recollection, they go back immediately because they have to defend. My way of thinking is we go forward immediately because we want the pellet back.

Bosz should not be mistaken for a foolish idealist. He is focused on preserving organisation and expends hours poring over parallels to find apparently innocuous mistakes. He does not smile much and his mother tells him to chortle more on television but he insists he is a positive guy. But I am also critical, he says. “Were not receiving” such thought as a perfect activity. It doesnt exist. It will never exist.

What about when Barcelona Beat Real Madrid 5-0? There were a lot of things in video games that they didnt do well. I look on the computer and I write down the right-back, ah, he is too high.

The five-second rule works only if Ajax are alert to danger when they have the projectile. Bosz calls this rest defence. There may be 50 situations “weve got to” do well, Bosz says. First I explain to my participates how we will performance. Then I will show them an living of residual excuse. Then clips of training and the game. Then we show them the mistakes we make and what we have to do better. You also show them when the pressing activity was astounding. We show them clips from big teams in Europe. Then the idea is in the heads of the players.

His approach stems from his appreciation of Cruyff. I would just like to one idol, Bosz says. I knew from the age of 16 that one day I will become a manager. So I was educate by writing down what my coach-and-fours were doing right but too reading a lot from Johan. With some pals, we more or less wrote our own book. Every clause, all his interviews were in there. We compiled them and tried to organise them this is for attacking, this is how you defend, this is tactical.

Ajaxs eye-catching young winger Justin Kluivert leaves the training tone. Picture: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

At the start of last year Bosz met Maccabi Tel Aviv, whose technical head is Cruyffs son, Jordi. Just before Johan expired, “hes come to” Israel, Bosz says. We wasted a few weeks together. It was just amazing. Instead of the book that you made, he is talking to you. I was just listening. In 1 week I learned enough for 10 years. He understood two Maccabi recreations and he was there at every improve session.

Boszs head was brimming with impressions but he is aware that not every participate is a football obsessive. This is dangerous for a coach, he says. If I want to give all my knowledge to my players, they will get bored. My communication before the game is not more than five minutes. Its important from those 50 situations that I pick the right ones.

His players took some convincing at first, specially the defenders, and Ajax descended costly levels early on. Veltman says: It was tough. If the left winger goes to the sphere, you go with him. I was like: Ninety times soldier, its hopeless. But it is fun. Sometimes Im on the pitching merely enjoying it like a follower on the side. Then I get goosebumps.

Veltman is a product of Ajaxs academy, along with the officer, Davy Klaassen, and a younger generation is developing. Kluivert revolved 18 last-place Friday. Matthijs de Ligt, a 17 -year-old defender, recently obliged his Holland debut. Van der Sar says: It has intensified in the last five or six years. We have changed the establishment and set an all the more important emphasis on training and change hours and facilities and coach-and-fours. We instruct more during the first year. Then the schoolteachers come here and then they improve again instead of first attending school and then train. So we have two or three more civilize times than before. Hopefully that will pay off.

Van der Sar known to be shunning a knack exhaust will not is very easy. Klaassen is being links between a summer move. Ajax cannot compete financially with the leading sororities in England, Germany, Italy and Spain. Can they hold on to Kasper Dolberg, their lethal Danish striker, or Hakim Ziyech, their brilliant Moroccan attacking midfielder? Can Overmars impede seeing inexpensive gems such as the outstanding Colombian centre-back Davinson Snchez?

Van der Sar says: We dont have the spending supremacy of other sororities. We want to create our own players through of course here i am money to invest but ideally we want to develop participates. If theyre good enough for the top European grade, you meet the average ages of the players who join the big clubs.

You touch everything in this guild. As a participate I ever had a look at the people doing the laundry or the guy scavenging the boot or the security guards. Its important to feel that everyone is gathering in the same lane. Thats reflective in how the organization acts. You need a good right-back, a good centre-half, a No10 I involve a good operational director, a financial person. Its forming sure everyone get forward. Theres the goal we need to rating. Everything behind me was bad because thats a objective. We need to push.

The Ajax players in exercise. Image: Chris de Bode/ Panos Pictures for the Guardian

Ajaxs scouting must be cunning. Selling Arkadiusz Milik to Napoli for 27 m last year enabled Overmars to smashes the 10 m barrier for the first time when David Neres, a 19 -year-old Brazilian send, assembled from So Paulo in January.

Boszs tough three-year spell as Feyernoords technical director not only allowed him to broaden his mind by passing “the worlds” but also offered him an revelation into Overmarss job.

All Bosz asks from Overmars is that he fetches him ingenious players. I dont care what they did at institution, he says. I congregated some guys who went to university and were not intelligent musicians. Smart actors foresee. Unintelligent players react. Always. If you think faster, you are faster on the field. If you react, you are always too late. Just knowing that going to happen , not whats already happened.

This is the Ajax way. It goes back to Cruyff. We have to be different, Bosz says. Its the only route we have a chance.

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