#its weird to make him out to be some poor saint of a father who has zero flaws and his only personality traits are i love my wife !!!

[felixakranken]

TWF fans have a strange habit of, for lack of a better word, woobifying Mr. Walten.

I think a lot of you seem to take this series a lot less serious than it actually is, and those same people have a very bad habit of making Jack out to be a saint. He's just a normal guy. Just because he loves his family doesn't mean he's some sweet and perfect guy who has no flaws. I never see any of you discuss or portray his anger issues that Martin has mentioned numerous times.

You all blatantly ignore the fact that Sophie's only memories she retained of him were that he was angry and he worked all the time. Just because he loves his family and didn't abuse them doesn't mean he's perfect. To deny him of these flaws take away what a dynamic character he's being written to be.

We know Felix sucks. We all know this because no one shuts up about it. That's his best friend of 20 years, someone he chose to have around his family, and someone he chose to start a business with. Felix's actions don't reflect on Jack, obviously, but you have to think about the fact they are best friends of 2 decades.

The small bit we know about Jack and what things Martin has let on to his personality over time is very different than what everyone makes him out to be, and it's strange. If you choose to ignore that Jack is just a normal middle-aged man in the 70s, that's on your own inability to actually like the character that's there.

[fortycumber]

so I somehow talked myself into watching a turkish drama, son yaz or the last summer to be exact (definitely not because I've been crushing on the main actor for quite some time now 😂), and let me tell you I have this weird love-hate relationship with turkish dramas due to the fact that where I come from, it's almost mandatory to find a random one broadcasted on every single TV channel ever, it's honestly annoying. Most of the dramas shown here are beyond mediocre, so I was kinda skeptical to start this one even because of the actor, but I did end up watching some of it nonetheless so yeah. I do love what I've seen so far, even though the show obviously has its own problems, from editing, to camera angles, to the TOO many inconsistencies in the plot, unlikable two dimensional characters and all that jazz. What saves it is the ABSOLUTE STELLAR performance by the main actor (😍) and I'm not saying this because I am so in love with him haha, but because this guy is literally ACTING THE SHIT OUT of this role OK? He's a poor little meow meow, a fucking wreck of a man, crying and having fits of anger all over the place, breaking shit, being irrational, making even more irrational decisions and suffering the consequences of them, yet beside all of that he's such a softie and an overall sunshine like I would give the world to him if I could OK? The chemistry between him and the main actress is also PALPABLE I love them together. Her character, despite being surprisingly clever and brave and somewhat of a breathe of fresh air compared to other female characters in turkish dramas (from what I've seen so far, don't know what happens to her after ep 10), falls flat and turns into the standard damsel in distress who's our main guy's ultimate rock, a shoulder to cry on and develops into his greatest weakness as well aka your usual cliche female protagonist that can be found in any drama regardless of the country. I don't feel obliged to write about the rest of the characters, the actors are great, I just don't feel any attachment to their characters whatsoever, especially those supporting ones like the aunt, the cousin, the annoying NPC boyfriend turned ex boyfriend, the cartoonish villain (?) Soner who seems to have a little crush our main guy, like the way he talks to him is diabolical sometimes, you can feel it despite the horrid Google translate subtitles. Like babe, time and place OK? He's hot I know, but still, chill. And don't even get me started on the mother! OH! Miss Gurl you KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING YOURSELF INTO, AND YOU ALSO, BEING INTO A SIMILAR FIELD AS YOUR HUSBAND, SHOULD OUT OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW THAT HE'S GONNA MEET SOME UNSAVORY PEOPLE AND END UP IN SOME DANGEROUS SITUATIONS, why tf are you making a great deal out of it? I understand prosecutor daddy is a bit too involved into his job and often neglects his family, but still help the poor guy a little, have some understanding, he's under so much pressure and for God's sake don't pit his children against him, not when he's genuinely a decent human being and a good father (well as good as he can be, this guy isn't a saint at all let's be clear on that).

With all that being said I think I will continue watching this regardless, hopefully I can brave through the terrible subtitles, I swear it most of the meaning behind the dialogues is lost (like they mention poems, they sometimes say some deep and poignant things that, due to the bad subtitles are conveyed in a completely different way instead of what their meaning was intended to be by the writer), I'm sure the people subbing this did their best, no hate to them. I hope some major platform like netflix picks it up and I'll be able to watch it and actually understand everything.

[nite-shay]

Surprise! (Kirishima Eijirou x Reader)

Funny little idea I had. Reader finds out she is prego and wants to surprise her hubby with the news :)

A/N: Nothing really. Charters are aged up. Female pronouns used. 

Hope you enjoy it and sorry for typos, grammar and spelling errors! :)

************

You were practically floating through your local market store's aisles, humming has you picked up items on your list.

Today was a beautiful day. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and nothing could ruin your mood.

Not even the grumpy old lady blocking our path, complaining to a stock boy about ketchup prices could bring you down!

Any why might you ask? 

Because today you got the best news in the world.

A few days ago, you went to your local clinic. You'd been feeling rather tired here lately and even a bit nauseous. You honestly thought nothing of it and just figured you had a stomach bug that'd been going around.

Image your surprise when the nurse on the other end of the phone informed you that you were not sick, just pregnant. 

It took a few seconds for the information to process, but the moment it does. Oh boy! You screamed and cried in pure joy to the poor, probably now partially deaf nurse on the other end.

After many thank yous and a few apologies, you practically hung up on the women wanting to call your husband imminently. 

You tried him on his cell and on his desk, but he must have been out on patrol. Meaning you wouldn't hear from him until much much later in the day

Damn. 

That burst your bubble, but that just gave a chance to be... well, creative in your news delivery method. You'd spent the last few hours researching and watching videos in the theme of 'Surprising the father baby announcements.'

And boy, oh boy, did you get some ideas! Too many ideas! But you settled on one method in particular. 

You smiled as you made your way over to the produce section.

Ah-ha! There's an item on your shopping list.

You reached out and grabbed two bags of baby carrots before tossing them into your cart. 

It would be a night your husband would never forget!

Later that night...

Let me start off by saying this. You love your husband. Very very much.

Your husband, Kirishima Eijirou, is the most wonderful man on the planet. He is an amazing and loving husband. He is also an amazing hero. Ranked one of the best in Japan and one of the friendliest.  The man is a literal saint who against all odds befriended Bakugou for goodness sake! You love him more than life itself.

Your husband is a lot of things but currently, you can only think of one way to describe your husband. In the words of the blonde explosive best friend, 'he has rocks for brains'.

Bless your husband's heart some days, he can be denser than his skin in his unbreakable form.

You expected him to overlook some of the food you made, BUT NOT EVERY FUCKING THING!

You made a spread of baby-related foods that could give a buffet restaurant a run for their money. You had it all, baby carrots, baby spinach, baby artichokes, baby corn, baby back ribs, fingerling potatoes, a cornish hen, deviled eggs, popcorn shrimp, you had it all! Hell, you even dropped a 'bun in the oven reference'. Twice! 

But did he see the pattern? 

Nope!

His only response was to stare/drool at the food and said, 'wow hun, if I'd known you be making this much food, I'd have invited Amajiki and Togata over'. Later on, he commented on how Fatgum would be jealous of the amazing food he's going to have for lunch tomorrow'.

While you appreciate the comments on your cooking. You could have strangled at that moment. 

Dense. Very dense.

You chanted in your head while he pigged out, 'I love the father of my child, and I will not beat him over the head with chicken' over and over for most of dinner.

As the night continued, you realized after watching both 'Boss Baby' and 'Storks' that you would have to take drastic measures to get it through his thick skull. 

Tomorrow, you'd bring out the big guns!

Maybe you should get Mina involved…

The next day…

"Hey, Red! Wow, what's with all the food?" Fatgum shouted as he watched the redhead placed another container on the table.

"(Y/N) went overboard last night and made a feast! We had a lot of leftovers, so I brought some of them in. Want some?"

"You bet I do! I love her cooking! You really lucked out!"

"Yeah, I did! I have no idea why she made so much food, but I'm ain't complaining!" He flagged over Amajiki, who just walked into the breakroom. "Hey, Amajiki! Join us!"

"T-thanks…." He shuffled over and eyed the spread of food on the table. "Um… Kirishima… was yesterday a special day or something for the two of you?"

"No, I don't th-WAIT" Kirishima had a moment of panic before checking his phone. "Nope. Our anniversary isn't for another few months, and her birthday was last month." He sighed in relief. "Man, Jiki, you can't do that to me. You bout gave me a heart attack." He took a bite of food. "Why'd ya ask anyways?"

"Well… it's just… this is a lot of food... And very...v-very… specific food that doesn't seem to go together, in a traditional sense…" The quiet man commented.

"What do ya mean?" 

Fatgum took a second look at the food before his eyes went wide. "I-I think I see where you're going with this Sun.." He put down his bowl while his redhead appearance just looked cluelessly between the two. "So Red, what happened last night?"

"Nothing really. I came home, and she made this awesome food, we ate, watched a few movies and then went to bed." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Did she say anything about her day, or did she seem like she wanted to talk to you about something?"

"No. I mean, she said she had an awesome day but didn't really say what was so awesome about it. She looked great! Like… I don't know, she just… had this.. glow? Yeah, that's the word. She just seemed to be glowing! I mean, I'm not saying she wasn't attractive before! She's drop-dead gorgeous, but I don't know, here recently she's just been…. Wow…" Kirishima's features softened as he thought of his wife while Fat and Amajiki looked at each other. The older man's eyes lit up while the younger dark hair man gave a half-smile. 

"H-has she been feeling ok?" Amajiki pressed.

"Yea-" He paused for a moment. "Well, she did say she wasn't feeling too good the other day and that she went to the doctor... She didn't say what they said, though.." He crossed his arms while he thought back. "Now that I think about it, she really didn't eat much last night, and I could have sworn I heard her throwing up this morning... But she  just brushed it off when I asked about it…"

"Did she say what she thought was w-wrong?"

"No, she didn't. I even asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her today, but she said she'd be fine. She did promise me she'd take it easy." He almost jumped up. "You guys don't think she's getting sick, do you? I know there's been a stomach bug going around…"

"Oh, it sounds like she got bitten by a bug, alright!" Fat couldn't keep it in any longer as he gave the redhead a wide smile.

"Seriously? What do we do? Wouldn't the doctors have found out if she did? Do you think it was poisonous?!?!" Kirishima jumped up like he was ready to take off back home to tend to his 'sick' wife.

"Easy Red." Fat roared with laughter. "She'll be fine, but she's going to be feeling the effects of this for the next…. I'd say nine-ish months…."

"Huh?" 

"Kirishima, I think you r-really need to go home and talk to your wife…" Amajiki interjected while Fat wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to control his laughter. Which he was failing at btw. 

"Come on, guys! I'm freaking out here! Is (Y/N) ok?" The hero pleased with them trying to get a straight answer.

"Eijirou?" Every head in the room twisted in your direction as you stood in the doorway. 

"(Y/N)! You're here! Are you ok? You haven't seen any weird spiders or anything around, right?" Kirishima rushed over to you as you made your way into the breakroom. You'd heard Fatgum laughing from down the hall and figured your husband was too far away. 

"Spiders? Wait, what?"

"Fatgum thinks you might have been bitten by a bug! How are you feeling? Do you need a doctor?"

"Honey. Sweetie. I'm fine, I've already talked to the doctor." You chuckled as you tried to soothe your frazzled husband. 

"You have? That's great! What did they say?"

"Well…" You trailed off. This wasn't going as planned. Your plan was to visit him in his office and surprise him with the little gift bag in your hand; from there, you hopped, he'd get the picture. The top item was a cute little 'I'm a riot' Red Riot baby onesie you in the merch store down the street. The next was a mini-set of red baby crocs. If he didn't get it at that point across, your last resort was the medical report from the doctor's office, showing that you were, in fact, pregnant. You made sure to highlight it, just to be safe. 

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to be blunt about it (Y/N). He's really not getting it. Congratulations btw the way!" Fatgum was chuckling slightly still as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"S-sorry if we mess anything up…" Amajiki mumbled apologetically.

"Thanks! And don't worry about Amajiki, it's fine! This works out better anyway!" You smiled over at the two before turning your attention back to the love of your life. 

"Congratulations? Wait, what don't I get? Babe, please tell me what's going on". The worry in his eyes nearly broke your heart. 

"Honey" You grabbed his face with both hands and made him look you right in the eyes. "I'm pregnant."

His body stilled, and his eyes were wide. He just stood there staring at you for the longest time; you swear you could almost see the little hamster in his head go flying off its wheel and pinball around his skull.

"Eiji? Did you hear me?" No response. He didn't even seem to be breathing. "I think I might have broken him." You glanced over to the older man in yellow before returning to those crimson orbs.

You were honestly starting to get worried at this point. Was he just shocked? Was he happy... or... did he not want it? Finally, though, he seems to come back to his senses. 

Blink. Blink Blink. Deep breath in. Blink. Blink. Deep breath out.

"Y-Your…..preg...p-pregnant….."

"Yes. I'm pregnant." You choked a little up as it finally seemed to sink into that thick lovable skull of his. However, his expression didn't waver, and you still couldn't tell whether he was happy or not. 

"I'm… going to be a dad?" You could feel him start to tremble beneath your hands.

On no.. he doesn't... 

Your eyes started to water, but you try to keep your smile in place. "Y-yes. You are..".

"I'm going to be a… dad?" It was taking everything you had not to break down then and there

But then.. it happened. 

You watched as his face lit up with the biggest grin you had ever seen. His eyes glistened with tears until they streamed down his cheeks. "I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!!" Your pretty everyone on the whole floor heard his declaration, and before you knew it, you were being dragged into a tight hug and swung around the room. 

For the next hour, the two of you laughed, cried, and went around the ENTIRE building so your husband could tell everyone the news.  Afterward, you showed him your little gifts, and that caused another trip around the building so he could show off the baby items and, much to your embarrassment, the test results. 

Fatgum quickly realized that nothing else on the planet would get the red headed hero to focus on work right now, so he let him have the day off to celebrate.

After a round of visiting and phone calls to friends and family, the two of you were finally home. The moment the two of you were in your home, he pulled you to your bedroom for the most intense cuddle section you had ever had. 

"I'm... going to be a dad…" He whispered while gently rubbing your belly where.

"Yes. Yes, you are." You couldn't help but grin and give him a slow sweet kiss, which he gladly returned. 

"God, I love you so much…"

"I love you too. "

"Promise me one thing…"  Suddenly his gaze narrowed as he looked you in the eyes with a serious expression. 

"Anything…" You shifted, a little nervous in his abrupt mood change.

"If... If.." He swallowed hard. 

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Now you were worried. 

"If I'm ever that stupidly dense again, please, PLEASE, knock some sense into me!" You burst into a fit of laughter while he just pokes his lip out in a pout. "I'm serious! Get someone, anyone to knock me into next week! Tetsu, Bakugou, Hell call Midoriya! After everything I missed, I deserve a Detroit smash upside the head!"

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow!

MasterList

[lizacstuff]

SCK/EDSER anon asks ep 41

Apologies for getting to these so late in the week, but lots of good asks for this episode. 

Find them under the cut:

Anonymous asked: Your thoughts on the epi? The kisses were a huge surprise! I'm glad she didn't slap him. And I'm kind of liking the two assistants' story. Its subtle but nice. And Aydan is so weird around Kemal! Is it just me or does her voice change frequency when she's talking to him. I like that they explained why Eda named her daughter Kiraz. I wasn't a huge fan of the name initially but it's growing on me.

So once again I thought it was a really good episode of television, the time moved quickly, it was well constructed and the acting was terrific. 

The only thing that marred my enjoyment of it was grappling with Eda’s lies.  Sometimes that just got too much for me. I think at one point I actually yelled “LIAR” out loud at the screen. I understand why Ayse and the writers wanted to delay Serkan finding out, it gave us two really great things, one Serkan deciding to pursue Eda again without knowing of their forever tie, and Serkan bonding with his daughter while thinking she has no connection to him.

Dramatically, both of those things are great and entertaining and I’m happy they went that direction. However, that once again requires me to set aside reality and find a way to stomach the fact that Eda not only didn’t tell him about his child, but now is forcing her child to actively lie to the person she wants most to meet. 

That was really hard to take on first viewing. She’s also dragging poor besotted Burak into the lie, allowing Melo to continue the lie to her former eniste, expecting Piril to lie to her husband and to her business partner/“friend”, not to mention all the direct lying she’s doing, both to the man she once loved more than anything and to her beloved daughter.  They’ve done a good job of making us understand the pain Eda went through and why she might want to protect her daughter, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING justifies what she did.  And let’s be real, she going to say she did it to protect Kiraz, but if Serkan had rejected being a father, everything else could have been the same. Kiraz didn’t need to know. Eda could have left, raised her on her own, and told the fairy tale of an astronaut.  She decided not to tell Serkan in order to protect herself, it was entirely selfish. And it’s really hard to watch Eda hold Kiraz in her arms when Kiraz tells her of dreaming of her father and Eda still come out of that determined to keep Serkan in the dark.  I know she’ll come around. But I really don’t want it be brushed under the rug and for the narrative to consider what she did as totally okay.  Perhaps that could come in the form of Kiraz making her pay a bit when she understands she’s been lied to and Eda has hidden her father from her. We’ll see. 

Alright, enough of that, I saw several tweets on twitter complaining about Edser alone screen time, that it was too little, but during the episode I didn’t feel it. Probably because I consider funny scenes like them using their assistants as go-betweens to flirt and fight as an “edser” scene.  Of course I always want more, but I think we’ll get much more in the coming episodes.

As for Kiraz’s name, I’m super glad it has meaning related to Serkan. That’s very heartwarming. Though still a bit at odds with the fact that she hid her from him. She’s going to deprive him of knowing he has a child, but give her a name connected to Serkan? These are the things you handwave when a show swings big for dramatic purposes, I guess.

On the positive side for Eda, I do appreciate that except for that one gargantuan thing, she is being very open with him in their conversations. It’s new for them for one to be honest about how much they were hurt by the other. Eda would always pretend that she wasn’t impacted when they parted, I’m glad she’s past that. 

I’m also happy that Serkan isn’t wasting time pretending he’s not still in love with her or that he doesn’t want her.  It took him, what, like a day, to decide he wanted her back? LOL. And even though he was being high-handed in manipulating hotel-owner lady to force Eda to work with him, it was all very in character for the old Serkan so I enjoyed watching it.  Even if he had zero rights to do it! 

Loved watching her guard come down when they were working together, they were always a very good team, and I’m sure neither of them has had quite that same dynamic since they parted, so it was fun to see them syncing right back into old rhythms. Oh and watching her thaw completely when he complimented her work. Serkan as her mentor was one of my favorite things about their relationship so it was nice to see that aspect back and that she still respects him professionally as much as she ever did.  Then the flowers! Gah! I love that the show is picking up these old threads and using them to illustrate how Eda was still a priority for Serkan during the 5 years of estrangement.  

So far we’ve only seen flashbacks from Eda’s perspective, it will be very interesting to start seeing them from Serkan’s perspective so we know why he did what he did. I think there’s no doubt that he pushed her away out of some sort of misguided attempt to get her to pursue a better life without him. 

Wasn’t it refreshing for there to be a misunderstanding about the phone call, for us to get to see jealous Serkan, but for Eda to actually clear it up for him? Don’t get me wrong, Serkan had no right to get angry and it was frankly none of his business, but it was also a honest emotional reaction from him, and I’m glad to see Eda recognize that and put his mind at ease. Also it was worth it for us to see their argument in the car and them both deciding to walk back. I wish we would have gotten like a 4 minute scene of them just walking and bickering on their way back, though.

Their conversation once they were back was great, so open (except for that pesky secret) so emotional. Serkan really putting in some emotional work for one of the first times ever. 

And I love how it continued the next day. Eda searching for the pick that means so much to her, Serkan coming right out and telling her that her wants her and still loves her.  And he just upped and kissed her. And she kissed him back! if nothing else, I’m just so happy that the cliffhanger was “happy.”  I’ll take a kiss cliffhanger over the horrifyingly heartbreaking ones we got used to there for awhile!

As for the other characters: Fuck off, Ayfer. Shut up, Aydan. Bad judgement, Melo. You’re a traitor, Piril. Hugs to you, Engin. Kemal, you’re a saint. Seyfi, grow a pair. Baby assistants, you’re cute. Burak, wake up. Deniz, you’re embarrassing.

Seriously, Ayfer is insufferable, I can’t stand when she’s on screen. At least Aydan is funny and has her own storyline, even if it’s stupid. Why, oh why, is she lying to Serkan about Kemal? Good grief!  

Who does Melo think she is taking a letter out of Serkan’s car? I get the comedy of that letter moving around the supporting players and causing misunderstandings, but it was none of her business and I think out of character for her to meddle to that degree. 

However, I’m glad that it looks like from the fragman that while both Aydan and Engin figure it out, they want proof before they do anything about the info. That makes sense, and will allow time for Serkan to figure it out on his own without being any more betrayed by those closest to him. 

The baby assistants, are adorable, and now I’m rooting for them, but Kerem needs to tone down his middle class outrage.  As for Burak... oh honey. With or without Serkan, does this dude really think he has a shot with Eda? It’s like a 4 deciding he is entitled to date a 10. Just no, dude, she’s so far out of your league you’re not playing the same sport.  And once he sees Serkan... seriously? That handsome hunk of man is her ex and you still think you might be her type? I say again, oh honey.  Melo seemed to be crushing on him, but I hope that’s not the direction they’re going unless they flesh it out. Melo deserves to be someone’s first choice. 

Anonymous asked: Hi! Love reading your sck-related answers! Been wondering about this: how do you think Serkan will react once he finds out about who Kiraz really is? I’m hoping, of course, that he will turn into the soft serky bolly we knew but am also a bit afraid that his dislike of children would not go away instantly and he will act a bit cold towards Kiraz at first..coupled with the anger towards Eda for lying

Thanks for the kind words! Honestly, I don’t foresee him acting cold towards Kiraz, I don’t think that is the story they’re telling. Especially since they’re going to have spent 3 full episodes having Serkan/Kiraz grow close without even knowing. Him reverting to robot bolat once he knows, doesn’t make sense to me. Plus, as you alluded to, once Serkan allows himself to open his heart, he becomes the biggest softy in the world and I expect that exact same dynamic with Kiraz as soon as he processes the information.  I can so see him spoiling her rotten trying to make up for lost time. He might not know what to do or always how to act with her, but I think he’s going to try really hard. 

His anger at Eda may linger, and that will probably be a wedge between Edser, a wedge I expect Kiraz will work hard to remove by forcing her parents to spend time together. 

What I hope to see is a Kiraz who doesn’t want to let her father out of her sight, including out of her house, and a Serkan who wants to get to know his daughter and a Serkan and Eda who are both so riddled with guilt that they will pretty much do whatever she asks of them, including living together and spending tons of time together. We’ll see, but that could be marvelous to watch. 

Anonymous asked: I loved that they brought the guitar pick back. Same feeling regarding the ring turned necklace. Those are symbolic and since they got rid of most of them (globe, mug, flower case), I'm happy we have something. I also love the Kiraz/Serkan relationship. He may be a bit annoyed by her but the things he does for her! My heart!!! I can't wait for the moment he realizes she's his!

YES! So happy to have some of these symbols back! Love that she carries that pick around with her, and so did Serkan, lol. That was the thing that gave him hope that she hadn’t forgotten him. 

I love that Serkan and Kiraz are so drawn to each other before knowing, it’s like something deep down it telling them the truth, even though they have no conscious realization of their real relationship. Kiraz is surrounded by people who cater to her every whim, (and let her get away with murder) so I think Serkan was a surprise to her. Like her mama, Kiraz is intrigued by someone who challenges her.  And Serkan challenges her. 

The clues are piling up, and you’d think Serkan would be able to have put them together by now. I mean we have the kid slipping up and poking holes in the ‘Melo and Burak are my parents’ lie, you have her aptitude for building, her strawberry allergy, not needing sleep and getting up early, being frustrated when folks don’t finish their sentences. Come on, Serkan! Though, I think he’s so distracted by having Eda back in his life, that he can’t focus on anything else. 

The arrow scene was adorable, and I just love how she goaded him into playing with her.  They are obviously very alike and I will never get enough of him being unable to say no to her. There are, apparently, exactly two people Serkan is unable to say no to in everyday situations, and they are mother and daughter. 

I wish we had seen a little more from Eda’s point of view when she found Serkan and Kiraz sitting there together having ice cream for breakfast. Because a more un-Serkan like thing is hard to imagine. I want to know what she thought and felt at that.  Why wasn’t she curious how they’d gotten to that position and both were compelled to want to be there? I suppose the writers didn't give that to us, because if they had, and had portrayed the character of Eda honestly, then that probably would have been enough for Eda to decide she should tell Serkan.

Anonymous asked: People are playing the team Serkan/team Eda game but in my opinion both are right and wrong in their own way. We still need more flashbacks to explain how things went down but I think everyone should be team Edser. At the end of the day it's about them learning from their mistakes and moving forward to build a family and life for their daughter and themselves.

Yes, I really don’t want to vilify either one. Even if Serkan pushed her away to protect her and give her a better life, once again he was being controlling and making decisions for her, just like he did back in episode 14.  And Eda’s mistake is obvious... and too much pride has always been one of her fatal flaws, so having too much pride to tell him and wanting to avoid that rejection in some ways makes sense for her. 

I can’t wait to watch how they find their way back to one another, they’re already having better, more open conversations than they ever did. 

Anonymous asked: ANOTHER scene of them talking maturely, laying out their feelings, who are they and what have they done to edser?!? sure we still get their usual bickering beforehand when they both walk back to the hotel (LOL). but him voicing his feelings at that night scene about how he KNOWS how much he hurt her, and that he broke them apart, but he "just can't leave" and how he repeats that over and over again... ugh just chef kiss!

Oh, that conversation at night on the boardwalk, that was something. They were both so raw, and Serkan is actually showing a lot of growth by owning his mistakes, admitting he hurt her, apologizing and being honestly about wanting to start something.  That is BRAND NEW, it was what we needed after amnesia and never got. It’s very satisfying to watch them having these heart-to-hearts and it looks like there are more in our future. 

Anonymous asked: as much as the flashbacks actually HURT my heart to watch, i've really appreciated them bc without them i don't think just telling what happened in the past would be enough for this plot and we need to have it actually shown. we've had eda's pov so far on the events that happened, but im really looking forward to serkan's thought process behind his actions in the past, even though i do already understand where he was coming from, i think it's needed for eda to understand.

The flashbacks are really good, but oh so painful. 

As for getting them from Serkan’s perspective, yes please! There’s a lot that both we and Eda don’t know.  We know that Serkan couldn’t leave his house for months after Eda left, but Eda doesn’t know that.  Eda really thinks he fell out of love with her and once again choose work over her, but I’m sure that’s not what happened. Hopefully, in 3 and 4, we’ll see what spurred Serkan on to act so coldly to her. Sure, part of it probably was depression and changes in him brought by the cancer, but I’m sure it was more than that. We shall see. 

Anonymous asked: Do you get the impression that Piril has known the entire time that Eda was pregnant and had a baby? I thought she only found out when she went to Sile for the hotel project but a lot of people seem to think she was in on it all along? did I miss a key line somewhere? Like I can see why she hasn't told Engin if it was recent but keeping it from him for 5 years? Idk about that. And it makes Piril a little more bearable if she hasn't stood next to Serkan all these years with this secret

My guess is she’s only known since this project. There is absolutely no reason for Eda to have confided in her prior to that, unless Piril somehow stumbled onto them during the years.  But I think that scene in the second fragman, where Eda is telling her that it’s better for Kiraz to have no father, than a father that doesn’t want her, is a flashback to when Piril and Eda first meet for the project and that’s Eda convincing her to keep the secret. That’s my best guess at least. 

It’s bad enough if Piril has known for weeks and has actively worked against Serkan figuring it out, but it’s a whole other thing if she’s lied to her husband for years.  Either way, I sure hope this causes problems between Piril and Engin, it should. 

Anonymous asked: One thing I love about Serkan now is that the man has learned to apologize. That was one thing that was very difficult for him but in the past two episodes he's apologized a few times. Yes in the first season he was sorry over his actions but never said the words "I'm sorry". What a great improvement. And I love that he's communicating. His "I want you" and his other efforts are great to watch.

I LOVE THIS! I think the first time he ever said the words “I’m sorry” was in 15 and that was after she forced his hand by driving like a maniac and really losing it so when they’re on that cliff he finally breaks down and says it.  But that was one of the only times.  Even in 28 when they have the big miscommunication about getting married, he only says something like “me too” after Eda apologizes.  

It would be interesting to know how he came to this point, but I assume he’s had a LOT of time to think over the last 5 years and to think about what he would say if they ever met again.  That has to be it, because he’s been able to articulate a lot of very sincere, heartfelt things in the course of these conversations

Growth! We love to see it. 

[the-ace-with-spades]

(5/6) the best is yet to be

five times someone realized Ronan and Adam were basically married and one time they actually were

Part 1 │Part 2 │Part 3 │Part 4 │Part 6

Read on ao3

Declan wasn't surprised when Ronan told him he was gay, in fact, he didn't react at all, just shrugged and asked if Ronan would eat dinner with him and Matthew.

Declan wasn't surprised easily.

There was no big deal. Declan wasn't one of those Catholics and Ronan wasn't on the way to become a saint, if not for the obvious faith in God,  Declan would say he was closer to becoming a satanist, really. If anything, this was less explicit and less worrying than picking him from the police station again or finding out he was dropping out to become a farmer. And it wasn't like Ronan was hiding it — Declan confirmed the suspicions the moment he moved in with Gansey but he suspected long before that.

He supposed this was what happened when your little brother leaves gay porn magazines just out in the open on his bed and you're the one hiding them from your homophobic father. Not that he would tell Ronan that, the experience would be equally traumatising and embarrassing to both of them and Declan didn't like to share the burden.

Adam Parrish was a fucking surprise.

Declan knew of Adam Parrish because of school, first. He was the quiet scholarship kid that didn't attract much attention except for his obvious poorness. Well, he was quiet until he was destroying Declan in the debate club. He still didn't talk much about himself, not like every Aglionby guy who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread, but Declan could understand that. He could understand that because he knew that sometimes you hide so many things that you no longer know who you are.

But that didn't make him less suspicious. Parrish joined the merry Gansey gang of traumatised misfits suddenly and without trying — so Declan did a background check on him.

His suspicion became deeper. He didn't like Ronan to think this was a friendship and not a transaction — Parrish had to have ulterior motives. He seemed to be a person that would definitely have less to give and more to take.

But then he didn't take anything.

The night Declan went to the police station with the knowledge that Ronan bit Robert Parrish, he thought it was the end, that this was the final charge that money won't be able to drop and that Ronan will have to be bailed out and smuggled out to Canada to not go to jail.

And then Declan came in and the police officer told him that Robert Parrish is being charged and they needed Ronan to testify to make the charge stick and he couldn't testify without a legal guardian present.

No one said anything about Ronan getting arrested because Adam Parrish admitted to his deepest secret.

And Declan was sure this was the end of niceties from Parrish, that he was going to use it as an excuse to move into that warehouse Ronan called home and sponge off on Gansey's kindness and Ronan's guilt.

And then he fucking didn't. So Declan gave him the pass.

And then, months later, Ronan told them he was gay.

The next Sunday, Parrish came to the Mass with him, wearing a secondhand suit and Ronan's tie.

"This is my fucking boyfriend," Ronan told him and Matthew on the steps to St. Agnes. "Deal with it."

Declan rolled his eyes. Adam rolled his eyes fondly. Declan frowned. Adam raised an eyebrow.

Matty asked if Adam was Catholic. Declan raised an eyebrow — he knew he wasn't.

"No," Adam answered. "I'm the emotional support."

True to his word, Parrish didn't pray, didn't kneel and didn't move during the sign of peace offering. Instead, whenever Ronan sat down next to him, his hand would wander to Ronan's on its own, like it was natural for him, and Ronan wouldn't oppose, just curl his fingers over his knuckles and caress it with his thumb.

There was, Declan found out over time, a huge amount of hands involving the two.

They walked out of the church holding hands too and held them together when Declan drove them all to the cheap diner Ronan insisted on. Parrish insisted on paying for his food an hour later and it became obvious why Ronan wanted to go to this exact place.

It was strange to see Ronan care about somebody and care enough to think about this kind of details — he knew Ronan did care, even if never about Declan, but it felt strange on another level. Like he had seen it before but didn't realize.

Declan tended to erasure Adam Parrish from his mind most of the time — if anything, he was safe for the Lynch family.

Parrish was a good influence if one compared being smitten to being influenced. Declan tended to use it to his own advantage — although Ronan would often refuse for the sake of refusing, he refused Parrish less than anyone else. He encouraged Ronan to modernise the farm — with a promise that he'll fix anything that breaks for him, or so Matty had heard — and actually, somehow convinced him to pay taxes, which was in itself a miracle — Declan felt like buying him a car just for that. He had to cover up enough tax fraud thanks to their dad and he wasn't going to do it again.

So Parrish was a good influence and when Declan didn't feel like dealing with Ronan's snark, he would text or call Parrish.

Not gonna be in church tomorrow, was a text Declan got one Saturday, waiting for Matty to get back from an outing with his lacrosse buddies.

He had to blink a couple of times because he hadn't had an unprompted text from Ronan in over two years. He wondered whether Parrish wrote it out of courtesy — or because he didn't want to deal with Declan either.

He called Parrish. He didn't pick up. He called Ronan. He didn't pick up. He called again.

A text came.

Fuck off

It was definitely Ronan.

The next day, Declan considered the option that Ronan was joking. Out of all the things, Ronan would never miss church, he couldn't recall even one time — Ronan would sooner come drunk or hangover to church than not come at all.

He didn't show up. So Declan left Matthew in a restaurant and drove to the Barns.

No one came out even when the Wolvo roared in front of the house. Declan left the car, ready for a disaster.

He hesitated before coming in.

He didn't visit the Barns that often but it was often enough that he had seen Ronan and Adam in enough compromising positions that made him wish he could burn a hole in place of those memories. He was never to see the kitchen counter the same and definitely never again prepare food on it. Knocking was safer.

He knocked. No one answered. He knocked louder.

There was a terribly loud screech behind him and Ronan's awful bird from hell landed on the balustrade of the porch, staring at him in the same way Ronan would if he was pissed. This was another reason why he never visited the Barns — everything, including his brother and his brother's boyfriend, crept him out.

He knocked again, louder and longer. No one opened.

He looked around, ignoring more screeching. Both Parrish's fugly car and Ronan's BMW are tucked behind the closest barn.

He banged on the door. Shouted, "Ronan, open up. For fuck's sake, I know you're inside," and banged again.

The door opened and Ronan, looking more pissed off than he had seen him in a long time.

"You fuckface," he said, which in Ronan-language meant a greeting. "Shut up."

Declan opened his mouth but articulated nothing before the cries came out from the inside of the kitchen. He frowned.

"What was that?"

Ronan groaned and went back inside, not bothering to close the door in Declan's face, which was a red flag in itself.

Declan went after him, straight to the living room.

The cries were Opal's. She was currently tucked into Parrish's arm, her head curled under his chin and bailing her eyes out. Parrish wasn't just holding her — he was making shushing noises and rocking her back and forth.

"It's alright, sugarplum," he was saying, in the sweetest tone that sounded so out of place on him. "It'll go away, I promise."

Ronan's whole body softened with every step he took towards Parrish. He reached out and brushed Opal's curls in a gesture that Declan often, as a child, would seek from their mom.

"Did you get it?" Adam asked over Opal's sniffling.

His eyes moved around Ronan's face and noticed Declan, standing a couple of feet away.

"No, got sidetracked," he said. When Parrish sent him a look, he added, "But I'm going to, right away."

"Grab the baby Tylenol while you are at it."

Ronan went without a word, disappearing behind the corner to the foyer and the stairs.

"How is your toothache, baby?" Adam asked. "Any better?"

Opal answered him with a sob and buried a snotty nose into his t-shirt.

Parrish looked up at him like he expected Declan to say something.

Kids weren't Declan's thing.

Parrish adjusted Opal in his arms, rocking back and forth again, until Ronan came back downstairs, holding a tube of tooth gum gel and liquid Tylenol.

Parrish adjusted Opal again, this time holding her under legs so she was sitting up more in his arms. Ronan didn't even stop, just unscrewed the Tylenol and gave her a spoonful — she opposed a little, hiding under Adam's chin, but gave in easily enough after he shushed her again.

Parrish rocked her some more when Ronan went to the sink and washed his hands and put some of the gel on his finger.

"Come on, you little gremlin," Ronan said, calm. "You know that's going to help."

Parrish caressed her hair but she still shook her head, whimpering.

"Open up, munchkin," Ronan added.

She did, after three or so tries, and Ronan actually managed to coat her gum in the gel.

As soon as he was done, she flattered in Parrish's arms and Ronan brushed her hair again.

Opal, for most of the time, wasn't exactly a normal child — she didn't need the constant attention, could eat a lot of weird stuff without a trip to ER or could be left alone for long periods of time. She wasn't a baby, so she couldn't be anyone's baby.

But for some of the time, she was an actual child, living with Ronan and his boyfriend, being partially dependant on them. She wasn't a baby but they were parenting her.

"You could give her some ice cubes," he said because nothing else came to mind. His common sense screamed, You're nineteen, you can't parent a child together, but he said instead, "That's what mom used to do."

Ronan went to the fridge immediately.

Opal fell asleep fifteen minutes later.

After Ronan took her from Adam's hands and carried upstairs, Adam, in shortly, explained.

Opal bit something, yesterday's evening, and ruined two of her teeth, which for a creature that hadn't felt any major pain yet was traumatising. Ronan went to get a baby Tylenol and tooth gel from the closest open pharmacy while Adam stayed with her. She just fell asleep when Declan came by.

"Ronan called every dentist within twenty miles but no one had any appointments left for today," he said. "So we're taking her to the dentist tomorrow morning."

We.

Declan probably should be protesting, should be intervening, should be doing something. But somehow, he just felt proud.

Ronan was impulsive, greedy and selfish. Probably shouldn't be trusted with himself, not to mention a kid.

But he wasn't screwing up, yet, and Declan hoped he would never screw this up. Whatever this was.

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.5.6 “Father Fauchelevent”

We’re introduced to two “enemies” of Valjean back to back. First Javert, and now Fauchelevent, who was jealous and distrustful of Valjean’s successes. Fauchelevent’s mind is changed by Valjean’s act of rescuing and helping him. Similarly, Javert does not start to change his mind regarding Valjean until Valjean spares him as well.

My favorite thing about Fauchelevent (aside from how weird he is later at the convent) is his representation of redemption cycles. He disliked Valjean, and was “punished” for that judgement by going bankrupt; Valjean saves him despite the (likely known) negative efforts of Fauchelevent to undermine him, purchases his cart & horse, and arranges for him to have a job that is possible with his broken knee; Valjean then forgets about Fauchelevent entirely; Fauchelevent reappears later with a vastly different view of Valjean and ends up essentially saving him from under the proverbial cart of Javert.

More injured horse imagery here. We’ve established that the cart is society and the horse is those toiling women and poor laborers who carry it on their backs. The difference between this horse and the one from 1.3.9 is that the last horse died of exhaustion and overwork, and the carter continued to beat the poor thing even after it had died. Again, we know that horse to be Fantine’s metaphorical parallel. But Fauchelevent’s horse seems to have been injured accidentally. Also, I’m wondering about the order of events here. We’re first told that Fauchelevent fell under the cart, then that the horse is injured. Was the injury of the horse due to Fauchelevent falling under the cart? Or vice versa? The first one seems to actually make some sense. Fauchelevent, as a formerly successful businessman, going bankrupt and falling under the weight of society doesn’t only ruin him. This “accident” causes anyone who had been beneath him--former servants that had to be fired, former assistants or employees that no longer had work, family that had to be abandoned or had to fend for themselves--to be injured as well, and neither one being able to help the other kills them both. Valjean is able to rescue Fauchelevent (a man, and a former businessman at that) from under society, and place him in another line of work, but those who were once dependent on Fauchelevent for money and shelter are lost.

Javert is a falcon here, rather than a dog. I’m pulling out my old Kratt’s Creatures knowledge here but from what I remember, falcons are more likely to eat other birds who are mid-flight. They stalk their prey from even higher above and then dive for it and basically stab it in the air. Which is essentially what Javert is doing here. He’s not hunting Valjean like a dog, because at the moment Valjean is not trapped or cornered. At this point Valjean could do whatever he wants; Javert is following his every move from a distance, getting ready for the perfect moment to dive and catch Valjean mid-flight. Because the only way he’s going to catch Valjean is if he watches him until some sort of proof appears from a slip-up or some other clue (like his strength), and that’s not going to appear if Valjean feels trapped or caught.

Valjean attempts and fails to lift the cart twice, succeeding on the third try. I’m wondering what this is a parallel metaphor for. If the cart is society, what are Valjean’s first two failed attempts at its rescue? I’m wondering if the first is Fantine and the second is maybe Montparnasse? Fantine dies despite his attempts, and he tries to influence Montparnasse who ignores and dismisses him. Although, I’m not sure that Montparnasse is correct either, because Fantine’s failure nearly destroys him (as the failure to lift the cart would have nearly killed him) but his lack of success with Montparnasse has mostly no effect on his life specifically. Perhaps it’s Thenardier? I’m trying to think of other failures of his that would have nearly destroyed him. His success is most likely Marius, who not only means happiness for Cosette, but also as a lawyer may have some later positive influence in society that we never get to see.

The “devotion” and success of Valjean’s singular effort is what inspires the rest of the bystanders and expands the effort to “twenty arms.” This is a continuing theme in the book, the effort of one or two inspiring many. The death of Mabeuf specifically comes to mind. But I also think on a more big-picture scale, the barricade itself is that small, singular effort as well.

“Madeleine himself wore on his face an indescribable expression of joyous and celestial suffering, and he looked with a tranquil eye at Javert, who was still watching him.” What a description. This feels like an almost saintly image; Valjean suffering and sacrificing for the good of others puts him on a plane that’s practically unreachable. It reminds me of the pain/ecstasy expressions in many paintings or sculptures of saints.

This is the first moment in the book where Valjean sacrifices his own identity to save someone else from suffering. Here he is very calm about it. He knows that what he is doing may reveal who he is to Javert, and yet he chooses to lift the cart rather than to watch someone else be hurt or killed. I feel like the fact that he manages to escape discovery this first time is part of why he’s so conflicted about Champmathieu and going to Arras. Valjean is not yet mayor when the cart incident occurs, so I imagine that he expects Javert to show up at his doorstep any minute to reveal that he knows his identity and to take him away. That Javert does not do this, and Valjean becomes mayor and is even more firmly established as the opposite of convict-Valjean, probably makes him feel as though he dodged a bullet. His reluctance regarding Arras isn’t just about Champmathieu and the fact that he has not been discovered by Javert, it’s also informed the by the fact that he dodged that bullet the first time, and there’s hope that it could happen again. But instead he chooses to crawl under the cart a second time and save Champmathieu as well, only at Arras he replaces the man under the cart, rather than the cart being lifted for both of them.

[sagesilentfire]

I'm looking for a trans sensitivity reader (for Marcie) and possibly a poc sensitivity reader (for the monsters vs mewmans plot), so if you're available, please tell me, and we'll figure something out.

Forgive my inability to draw humans, please.

I know this is a big departure from my usual content, so I'd like to make sure you know that watching SVTFOE is not necessary to enjoy this AU, as everything needed to understand the plot is explained in-story. In fact, I'd love to have someone who's never even heard of a svftoe to read it so I can make sure it makes its own logical sense.

Anyways... 

(putting this under a read more for your scrolling purposes)

Hi. I'm Sage, and I would like to talk about a show I really liked. The past tense being the operative, as it used to be good, but...

I started watching SVTFOE after watching the great Steven Universe, which meant I had high expectations for it. And it met those expectations! From the beginning I was hooked. It was a good show. But as the seasons went on, it started to... rot.

Now, something to know about me is that I do not invest myself wisely. I love the things I love deeply and with passion. I get attached easily, and I love to theorize about the things I love. So I was heartbroken when SVTFOE ended the way it did, with none of my questions answered.

And when my theories were better than canon, well, that meant I had a new project: a complete rewrite of Star vs. the Forces of Evil. This AU will start similar to canon, but gradually diverge from it until it's something completely new. It will also have five separate "seasons".

So here's my AU: Star and Marcie and The Forces Of Evil (aka samatfoe). This AU will tear apart the scraps of lore that we got from SVTFOE and expand on it and make new lore, all narrated by my lovely OC, Sílthéy. And I promise I will get to as much as possible. If you're worried, check the titles of all of the chapters, which will hopefully reassure you that, yes, I will get to everything (or at least everything I've thought of ;)).

Dramatis Personae:

Star: Star will mostly stay the same in the first few seasons, but I'll try to have her actually grow and mature while staying a good person in the later seasons. She'll also be a bit more fire-aligned, because I wanted to be able to tell my Star and the canon Star apart easily. (She also doesn't get those wings until Mewberty.)

Marcie: is a trans girl. The entire second "episode" will be about her being trans. And I will, again, try to not have her act like a jerk in later seasons. She also won't be an adult trapped in a teenager's body, as that was waaay too weird for me. Instead she won't age in the Neverzone, period, and there will be an episode dedicated to her re-adjusting to Earth and discussing what the whole "spent a decade and a half in eight minutes" thing means for her. And, of course, she'll be more involved with the Mewni plot, as she will be interested in learning the lore behind Mewni from the beginning and push Star to find out more about Mewni.

Ludo: Ludo's story will not effectively end with the Battle for Mewni. He will get a redemption arc, with all the pitfalls and trip-ups that come with that. And all of his flaws and issues will be brought up, now just forgiving him for everything he did because he had bad parents. And Dennis will continue to be a cinnamon roll. Some things never change.

Buff Frog/Yvgeny: will not change. He is good lad.

Toffee: This is the big one. Where to start, and how to start it without spoiling everything I have planned? Well, let me tell you this: Toffee is getting a complete overhaul. For one thing, I now made them agender for various complicated reasons that will be revealed in-story, eventually. And for another thing, they will get an actual backstory and personality! Isn't that a novel idea! And they will not die abruptly and nonsensically in Battle for Mewni, so don't worry about that.

Jackie: Oh, Jackie. You poor dear. Jackie will not be delegated to the role of "one-time love interest who just skateboards out of the plot". First of all, Marcie will only have a squish (a platonic crush) on her, because I don't trust my aro/ace self with the weird things people in romantic love do to get together, but I do know what it's like to desperately want to be friends with someone. Secondly, while she will be out of the spotlight in later seasons, it'll be because she's on an exchange trip to France, not because we're abandoning her character and her world for no good reason.

Janna: never changes. Pretty sure she's the one constant of the multiverse.

Tom: will have his redemption arc earlier in the story so I can use him for things, but other than that will not change much.

Moon: First of all, she will not betray everything her daughter stands for by siding with Mina this time. There are plenty of other ways Mina could rise to power, so there's no need to ruin her character by making her do a stupid, illogical thing that even a five-year-old would see was stupid. I mean, she's still going to be kind of racist, but she's well-established to be level-headed and even a little clever, so she will not do something that would so obviously blow up in her face. Secondly, she will be a bad ruler, hence why Mewni is a total mess, but she will learn and become better and help Star's efforts to improve Mewni.

Glossaryck: is... changing. He won't "lose" his sanity for season three, but he will also not be in a totally heroic role. It's a complicated thing and a bit of a spoiler, so I'll leave it at that. Also, he's a dragon now Because Reasons (no, seriously, I have a reason for it. It's also a spoiler).

River: River will be goofy, like usual, but he won't be plot-destroyingly stupid. I'll try my best to not make you question why he's even king while still making him a foil to Moon. It's the tightrope I must walk.

Angie and Raphael: Will not completely disappear from the plot in later seasons, but will instead be like a second family to Star and will be a refuge when her overbearing Butterfly side gets too much.

Kelly: Will not be involved in a stupid romantic subplot with Marcie. Sorry. Other than that, Kelly will remain pretty much the same, aside from now being tiny, because that's just how she came out in my art. She's pretty cool.

Miss Heinous: Will not be Meteora this time around. I disliked how Heinous hurt so many people and was a horrible person, but as soon as her Tragic Backstory™ was revealed, all that pain and suffering she caused was ignored in favor of making her Super Duper Tragic™. So I'm separating the characters. Don't worry, though, she'll get the backstory and character arc she deserves.

Saint Olga: Saint Olga will be the main motivator for Miss Heinous's actions, as she is desperate to please the robot. Other than that, Saint Olga won't actually get much character. She's a bad guy, pure and simple.

Meteora: will not turn into a baby. She will deal with the consequences of her actions like a mature, responsible sixteen-year-old. But because she's sixteen, things won't be too harsh when she does snap. She'll still have her mother and father to help her and guide her.

Eclipsa: Regarding Eclipsa's design, I tried to make her fat, but... I don't know if it translates well in my art. I'm just not that good at art yet. But aside from that, making her cheekmarks dark gray (spades are a black card, not a red card! That bugged me so unreasonably much), and giving her as much of a connection to Toffee as the show implied, I'm not changing much about her. She was one of the good characters.

Globgor: Will have fought against mewmans in the past, but not have eaten them (what were the writers thinking?! Making your metaphorical poc eat people is... not good). And it will be more of a case of Star and Eclipsa knowing he is good and should be released from the crystal, but the general mewman populace not accepting it, until Cornonation, where he proves he's a good guy.

Shinjai: Is a new character I am thrilled to introduce to you all! She came from me thinking that for someone who supposedly wants to end mewman-monster racism, Star sure doesn't have any monster friends (Buff Frog doesn't count. He's an adult, and they don't really hang out so much). So here's Shinjai! She's a septarian, and is introduced instead of Princess Smooshy in Sleep Spells. She's a very minor minor monster noble, and her family has about as much political power as your average worm on a sidewalk after it rains, but all noble monsters must go to Saint Olga's Reform School for Wayward Royalty, so she runs away and gets help from Star and Marcie. She's mostly made to replace Pony Head: she's spunky and... uh, actually she's nothing like Pony Head. She's also unafraid of asking difficult questions and knows more about the plot than she lets on.

Rasticore: is very different from his canon counterpart: he only allies with Heinous and Saint Olga to keep an eye on them for ~someone~, and thoroughly dislikes them, despite agreeing to their mission. He also can regenerate as quickly as Toffee, he just chooses not to for ~reasons~. He also has a mysterious partner, but we all know it's – *gets clubbed over the head by Síthéy*

Mina: Making fun of mental illnesses isn't funny kids. Therefore, Mina is the only neurotypical member of the cast. She does boring neurotypical things like... I dunno, cleaning? And she's still a threat: bigotry and hatred are not exclusive to people with mental illnesses, after all.

Lilacia: Now, Lilacia Pegasus, the horse formerly known as Pony Head, will... exist. She won't be as overwhelmingly annoying, hopefully, as she is in canon. And to make sure she feels consequences for her actions, there will be a subplot in season two about her and Star growing apart as Star grows and leaves Lilacia's annoying party girl antics behind. Lilacia will have to realize that her immature actions are making Star leave her behind, and she'll have to grow as a person because of it.

Then there's a mysterious character who is very mysterious and does mysterious things and has a mysterious personality and is generally mysterious... mysterious. She'll be introduced in the second season and will be as mysterious as promised, I swear.

And finally, of course, it will be narrated by Sílthéy. She will tell this story, and her part in it, for all to hear. Or read? It's a bit of a strange medium, storytelling on paper. Or on a screen, whatever.

Now, of course, by now you must be wondering: What about the shipping? The shipping's the most important part, right? Well, here is my answer: There will be no ship wars. There will be no love dodecahedrons. There will be no cheating, no lies, no throwing other characters under the bus for stupid romantic drama. Why? BECAUSE STAR AND MARCIE ARE BOTH ARO/ACE. Suck on that, Starco! I am the last person to trust romantic drama with, so all of the romantic relationships in this bandwagon will be established, healthy relationships that have decades of chosen love and appreciation for one another behind them. And past!Tomstar and brief, schoolchild-crush-esque Star/Oskar but that doesn't count.

So, I believe that about wraps things up for this post. I'll start posting chapters soon, and will post two chapters every other week, and I'll release the descriptions of them two weeks before I post them. If you have any questions, please ask them! I want to work on my drawing skills, so I might even draw something for them!

Description for next episodes:

Star's Birthday: Star is a young, wild princess who is about to receive her family's most precious heirlooms.

Trouble in Diazland: Star is put under the care of the Diaz family, but can't quite seem to connect with their son, Marco.

And, finally, I have thank yous! These are mostly people I watched but haven't really interacted with yet, so if you get tagged know that you don't know me, I just followed you for svtfoe content. And for, you know, your personality.

Thanks to ankle-beez for being hilarious and reminding me why I made this AU when you relentlessly drag svtfoe. Thank you to @full-moon-phoenix, @dappercritter, and the lizard squad for my regular dose of Toffee. Thank you morningmark and @jess-the-vampire for keeping me invested in svtfoe as a whole. Thanks to svtfoe-critical and @twinklecupcake for good ideas. Thank you to TBlofeld on AO3 for your amazing AU, Monsters, Mewmans, Magic, that, while we took things and ran in completely opposite directions, still inspired me to complete mine. And thank you to Blue Order, whose deeply hilarious and deeply accurate video "How Star Vs the Forces of Evil Fell From Grace" inspired me to create this story in the first place. And, of course, thank you to whoever on the svtfoe wiki writes down the transcripts to every episode. You've helped me so much. I admit that I didn't follow all of your guys' advice, but you did help me get here, every one of you. So thank you.

[celestialmidnights]

Mania [Prologue]

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves/OC

By a twist of fate, a young girl is swept up in the chaos of the Hargreeves family. Ophelia Cortez was never supposed to become close to any of them. She was just a neglected girl who's family pawned her off the moment things started to get abnormal. With new abilities cultivating, Ophelia is forced to face old wounds and new flames.

Word Count: 2,300

October 1, 1984

43 women around the world suddenly gave birth at the exact same time. The weird part? Until the moment they gave birth, none of those women had been pregnant. These newborns are weird and inexplicable and special.

Sir. Reginald Hargreeves, billionaire, and adventurer, made it his mission to acquire as many of these children as he could, overall at the start he ended up with seven although as time grew on a new 'challenge' arose.

——— 11 Years Later ———

Life as an orphan had its challenges, one of which being the constant moving from home to home. By the age of 10, Ophelia had already been through five temporary home placements. The fosters she lived with were all the same. They always made false promises about keeping her around. It was never true. The promise of making a new family grew harder to believe in, as each passing home continued to give her up. Whether it be because of poor timing or her closed-off personality, Ophelia lost hope in ever making a lasting relationship.

Being tossed from most homes she had been placed in, the young girl began to form a discouraging outlook on the rest of her life. There was no point in trying to become a part of a family. Everyone would just leave her in the end. It also didn't help that the current couple she was adopted by hated her even more than she hated them.

Last year she had been given the "privilege" of being adopted by a young couple in their 20's. Amelia and James Cortez. Their public personas were perfect, but behind closed doors the two parents were horrendous. Often the two of them would make Ophelia clean and cook until she was physically unable to continue. This resulted in achingly red blisters formed from working on projects around the house. The little girl would frequently be taken to doctor's appointments with bumps and bruises, but no authority figure ever stepped in. She was told to suck it up because she was one of the lucky ones. The girl's caretakers were saints. Even though, they would continue to cause harm to the child in their possession. This treatment would be continued until it progressed into full-on verbal abuse.

Over time, Ophelia had just become used to a life full of solitude and hurt. The year-long tirade on her self esteem had slowly started to deteriorate any sort of social skills the young girl wished to attain. She had accepted the fact that she would have to age out in order to gain a semi-normal life. That was until the family had decided to get into business with an extremely wealthy man by the name of Reginald hargreeves.

Ophelia's "father" had acquired a small-scaled company, dealing with space travel from his deceased father. The man would often spend a large amount of time at his warehouse, near the Hargreeves estate. When the world had seen the birth of extraordinary children, Reginald had sprinted towards using the new technology Ophelia's father had access to.

This created the opportunity for James Cortez's family to be more involved in the family business. After being employed by Reginald, James moved his family into the warehouse near the Hargreeves estate. It was there that each member of the family had a purpose. Amelia went on to be head of the supply chain, while their 10-year-old was suddenly tasked with taking note of how many parts the billionaire was in need of. Every day, Ophelia would be expected to write a number of each item Reginald needed.

The man was usually harsh towards Ophelia. He would never use her name and only called her the rumpled little girl. After a year with Amelia and James, she didn't even raise an eyebrow at his insults. Ophelia just went about her business. This seemed to irk him, resulting in the older man continuing to antagonize her.

Reginald aimed his words towards the small child, "Why does your father insist on having you down here. Clearly, he has the means to not use you,"

straightening out his long coat.

"You, my girl are pointless. Do they make you do this so they don't have to see you?" The man chuckled.

"I mean you don't even talk. How Pathetic." Reginald stood back waiting for a reaction that never came. Unable to gain satisfaction, the man turned his back swiftly making an exit.

He did not get his reaction. It was true, Ophelia hadn't talked since she was adopted. This wasn't because she couldn't, but because she didn't want to. It was too frequently that a person's words could endanger someone. Ophelia was no stranger to this. Her silence was a weapon. No one, not even the people who surrounded her could take that away.

Over a couple of months, it became routine for Reginald to come in and make swift comments at Ophelia. She never responded. Why would she? He was just like her parents. In a way, the man was predictable. That was until he started to bring along children. He claimed they needed to start taking responsibility, and he wouldn't stand for anything less.

The first time Ophelia had an interaction with the children was when she had been cleaning up. The girl's father had sent her downstairs. Reginald had been on an emergency call for some sort of experiment.

This time he had people with him...

A shaggy long-haired boy, who had looked so sleep-deprived she could see the sunken black rings around his eyes. He seemed to be hissing at something in the corner.

Weird.

The other boy was about the same age. He looked just as tired, but his darker skin did a better job of hiding it. He seemed to curl into himself out of discomfort, making him appear two times smaller. It really was a shame. She had a feeling he would look better if he wasn't so scared.

Reginald was too busy with his project at hand to care that the kids were wandering around the area. The two children were looking around the warehouse as it was pretty enormous. While it didn't have much variety because of the white walls, it made up for in size. The shaggy-haired boy seemed to be enamored with the gadgets littering the area. He accidentally touched an exposed wire on a trinket, causing him to squeal in shock. This caused the girl to laugh full heartily. Ophelia had been too preoccupied with looking at the shaggy-haired boy that she didn't even notice the other one behind her, waiting for her to turn around.

"Hi. W-W-What's your n-n-name?" The boy struggled to spit out, startling Ophelia enough to cause her to tumble on the table next to her.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, she was unable to move from her spot. Ophelia hadn't talked to someone other than her parents in over a year, let alone a kid her age.

The young boy tried to help her up,   "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He looked down apologetically at the small girl.

Ophelia returned the sentiment with a tight-lipped smile. She didn't know how to react, and this small interaction was making her get major anxiety.

"My n-names Diego." He said waiting for her to give him a name back. It never came.

This confused him, "Can you talk?"

Ophelia shuffled awkwardly, suddenly embarrassed by the joking tone in his voice. She blushed and shook her head side to side.

"Oh... that's okay. I sometimes have trouble talking too." Diego tried to make the girl feel more comfortable.

Ophelia pointed to an area on her shirt. Diego's eyes landed on a nameplate.

"Ophelia. I like that name. My sister's name is Allison, and I think you have a better name than her. She thinks she's the best. She's not though." He huffed.

A chuckle came out of Ophelia's mouth, catching her off guard. Diego smiled at her with a chestier grin, spanning across his face. The two kids continued to stare at each other until they were interrupted.

"NUMBER 2 GET BACK HERE. I AM NOT ENTERTAINING A CIRCUS. GIRL I WILL NOT HAVE YOU DISTRACTING HIM. GO ON." Reginald yelled at both children.

Diego looked back and forth between them contemplating his next words, "Bye Ophelia. I have to go. See you later maybe."

Diego didn't leave until she nodded. Running towards Reginald, he bid her a wave goodbye and smiled on his way out.

Ophelia turned to finish up the days work much giddier than she had started it. For communicating with someone her age for the first time in years, interacting with him wasn't so bad. Not at all. It should have brought her a longer amount of joy, but it only left her with feelings of sorrow and loneliness.

James and Amelia had heard about this incident from Reginald the next day. They took it out on Ophelia, removing her from the warehouse duties. Instead, she was placed inside a room with no one to talk to. Her parents said it was for her own good. It wasn't. Ophelia knew for some reason her parents didn't want her out talking to people. With each passing day, the girl grew more resentful towards her parents, building until there would surely be a break down to follow.

She never knew why they hated her. Until the day abnormal abilities started to make an appearance inside her. Ophelia had been having pain in her head for as long she could remember. There seemed to be no sense of relief from it, and Amelia and James always seemed to make it worse.

On a Saturday evening, Ophelia's father decided to visit her. He had a particularly bad day at work, making it why he came to see her that day. He never went unless there was a need.

The man had stepped into the room where Ophelia was. He seemed moodier than normal. The tirade of verbal insults started almost instantly. His face growing red, the man began to move towards the 10-year-old. Ophelia tried to back up, but there was nowhere to hide in the small room. James grabbed her arm and threw her down on the floor and began hitting her consistently. She didn't know why this was transpiring. He never went this far, but there he was beating her to the point where she had begun to lose consciousness. Ophelia was sure she would die that day, but the universe had other plans for the youthful girl.

There was a sudden buildup in her mind that burned almost like a ray of sunlight. Suddenly, the scenery of the room began to change. No longer inside the room, Ophelia's father began to panic.

"DID YOU DO THIS? STOP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP OPHELIA. NOW YOU DECIDE YOU'RE GOING TO BE SPECIAL." The man cried out at his daughter.

"Did he know there was a possibility she had abilities?" Ophelia thought to herself.

This must have been the justification for why they kept her away from people. The reason why they disliked her from the beginning. She didn't show any special abilities when born. Ophelia was created on October 1, 1984. She assumed they knew that Ophelia didn't possess any inclination for extraordinary abilities until right at this moment. For some reason, the abilities didn't kick in until now. All these years, and this is what caused their tirade. How pathetic.

Ophelia had no idea how to control what was happening. It was some sort of reality manipulation ability, but she couldn't figure it out in time for her father not to take advantage of her confusion. Before she could even process what was being done, Ophelia had been knocked out.

——— 3 Months Later ———

Over the next three months, Ophelia began to grow more resentful of her parents. After the Hargreeves incident, her parents made it impossible to have outside contact with the world. Currently, she had no ability to go anywhere but her room. They were scared of her. Whenever they would try and talk to her, she would temporarily blind them or manifest a nightmare inside their heads. They kept her under medication to ensure she wouldn't be able to truly master her abilities. There was no telling what she could do if given the chance.

After the first month, Ophelia started going a little crazy. In order to keep her mind active, she began avoiding reality through illusions. It was her only escape. She was only able to create small illusions and mimic physical sensations. If it wasn't for being trapped in her own home, Ophelia would be pretty excited about it.

The small amount of joy was short-lived, as the couple had planned on selling her to Reginald Hargreeves. This had been their plan all along. Her for an exchange of money. They must have been planning on doing it since she was adopted, but the couple was unable to fulfill their intention when she didn't display any special abilities. Now they were finally getting a return on their investment.

Ophelia wasn't heartbroken at being given to the Hargreeves. When a person already lived with monsters, anything seemed better.

At least she would have kids her age to interact with. Yes, Reginald was an unkind man, but it wasn't anything she wasn't used to. There was no point in fighting. What was done was done. She would have to accept becoming a member of The Umbrella Academy if she still wanted a shot at a decent life. Ophelia could only hope it would be better than her current environment.

————-

This is my first time writing fanfiction in English. I learned to write in English three months ago so I’m not sure how well everything flows. It’s only for fun and practice. Hope you enjoyed reading. I might continue but it’s up to how I feel about it.

[mwolf0epsilon]

((As kids)) the polks let Sammy live with them after being abandoned by his parents. At first he’s rude to them but then he gets straighten out. Maybe he helps around there farm/ work?

Reworked a few things here to fit the prompt considering Samuel Sr. wasn't the best person or parent, but he he wouldn't just abandon his child, and the fact my Norman is 20 years older than Sammy in the canon compliant verse.

Summary: Sammy was a weird kid. Norman thought he must have been a major brat to get thrown out, and the blond spitfire never tried to disprove it. Then he got wiser.

---

Everyone in their area knew the Polks. They were a quaint little family that owned an equally quaint little farm out near New Orleans. Nothing too fancy, just a few sugar cane plantations, and a bit of cotton on the side. Enough to get food on the table, pay for studies, and even support a few hobbies . It was a comfy lifestyle for a tight-knit family.

Those who were aware of the Polks also knew what they tended to do when not tending to their crops.

Despite a few shady (and sadly true) rumours about dear old Poppop Polk, the military background of a few of the Polk men, and the sheer physically intimidating bulk that they often grew into (even the women) due to years of hard work, the only hardened part of them were the muscles. In truth the Polks were the kindest most soft-hearted folk in Louisiana. As such they were suckers for a sad tale, second chances and what not. This tended to lead into them bringging in strays...

The most recent, much to a young Norman's displeasure, being a bit of a sour crumb.

Sammy Lawrence was this pale tiny boy with a shock of curly blond hair and eyes that weren't a color Norman couldn't quite name. Something in between a soft brown and a flicker of green.

He was a skinny sort, no more intimidating than a little fuzzy newborn chick, with knees marked by bruises and scratches (from climbing trees and skinning his knees on gravel) and unevenly cut nails that looked like they'd been bitten until they were short (a nervous tick).

But, most notably, the kid was a snake. One with venom in his eyes, and words that bit into flesh like a snapping turtle out for the kill.

Now Norman's mama always told him never to judge a book by its cover, but surely the saying couldn't apply if he judged the contents, right?

The kid was just... Mean-spirited...

Yelled, had tantrums like the devil himself made him whacky, and honestly watching his mama fret over him and try to make him more comfortable staying at the farm was like watching a trip for biscuits. Completely pointless.

Sammy was a weird kid. And Norman thought he must have been a major brat (because obviously he was) to get thrown out by his parents.

To his credit the blond spitfire never tried to disprove it or give any logical reason to be there. Instead he resorted to verbally attacking him and his older siblings at every chance he got.

Norman didn't much care for those wordy insults of his. The kid thought he was smarter than him, so fine let him believe that. But the moment he told his sister she looked like a little ugly ape, Norman's composure snapped like a twig.

"Yous thinks yous plenty rugged uh? Spoutin' all them nonsense fancy words like ta rest o' us don't get what yous sayin'?" He'd spat out twice as venomously, with a hint of fury over little Jolene's tears cutting his heart deep. "What sorta wet sock goes 'round throwin' crust at little girls?!"

"None of your business you slobbering cyclops!" The little shit had his fists balled like he thought he could take on someone who brawled with two much larger siblings. He may not be able to beat Franny and Carol in a fight but damn, Phineas couldn't tear them off him either and he was 16!

At 12 Norman wasn't stocky but he put up a fight. This 10 year old egg would go down easily. "She started it!

"She's 5! I bet this why you ended up here. So dang mean not even your parents could love yous!"

"Nomie!" Jolene protested, but the damage was done.

The little blond stared wide eyed with his mouth hanging open, before his face went red with rage. Like the devil possessed him.

Shrieking loudly the brat lunged and both he and Norman went rolling downhill into the creak.

On Jolene's account, both of them were in trouble for saying and doing bad things (his one regret was not biting the kid harder when he tried to go for his neck). She also got a light spanking for something she'd said.

Much to Norman's embarrassment, matters parteining his behavior were taken up to his Great Nanna. And boy did she look angry...

"Bárbara told me yous went and said some evil things to that poor boy." The burn of her gaze made his cheeks hot with shame. But also a little bit of resentment.

"Not like he a saint Nanna! He called Jolene a monkey, she was just playin'!"

"She also insulted him to his face, cuzz you boys drilled it into her head that it's fine ta go around making fun o' people you don't know as long as you ain't caught doin' so." Nanna pointed out. "Now why'd ya go an' tell him what yous did?"

"Ain't it obvious? Kids out here for SOME reason... And his attitude sure makes it seem like he gots thrown out with the rest o' the trash."

"NORMAN ELIAS POLK!"

Norman yelped in fright as his great grandmother pointed her long crooked finger at him and began laying down the law. You did NOT piss off Nanna.

"You do NOT get to say such evil things in this household! You don't know nothin' 'bout why that poor boy is out here, and goin' bout saying such booshwash will get your hide tanner than a leather belt!" She spat as she went, her toothless sneer a great sign of her displeasure. "That boy just 'bout went and lost his poor mother, and his father is in hospital sick as a dog, so you best go out and 'pologize to that frightened child before I get half a mind to drag you there by the ear and spank your butt in front o' the whole family 'til the only words comin' out that crude mouth a'yours are words a regret!"

"Y-yes Nanna!"

"Go on then! Git!" She pushed him out the door. "Apologize!"

His Nanna was crazy scary when she wanted to be. Her promises were also always kept.

He shakily apologized as soon as he caught sight of Sammy, and he must have well and truly looked shaken up because the kid took it without so much as putting up a fuss.

At dinner things simmered down, and the little blond didn't put up a fight about staying or eating "slop" like he'd his memaw's cooking before.

According to Phineas, their pops had sat the kid down and layed it out just as hard as Nanna had done to Norman.

Either behave or risk getting sent somewhere less friendly. His pops also called in for extra drills the next morning, as punishment for their bad influence on Jolene. Sammy would participate, as his father thought such exercise routines were good for later on in life.

You never know.

Through following the same routine as everyone else, Sammy seemed to overall mellow out. He was less aggressive towards everyone else, actually did a decent job, wasn't too bothered about the farm work (apparently his dad owned a cattle ranch), and he actually started playing with the other kids as well. It took time for him to get comfortable, but heck if he wasn't fun to brawl with! Least now Norman had a chance to win!

Sammy Lawrence's stay wasn't a long one though. A month and a half.

As soon as Mr. Lawrence got out of the hospital he'd practically floored it all the way down to their farm to get his boy as far away from the black folk (no wonder the kid was such a ball of bad manners, his old man was one of THOSE people) as quickly as possible.

Must of thought they'd tainted the kid or something...

No skin off Norman's nose. He may have been in the wrong about why Sammy lashed out the way he did, or about the kid being a crumb, but that didn't stop the little shit from being a weirdo.

Hopefully he'd grow out of the superiority complex.

[desirableendings]

Cancel culture

I’m so upset right now. I’m gonna try to put my thoughts in a coherent form but I’m afraid I won’t be completely capable.

This is about cancel culture and about how unhealthy and toxic it is both in the realm of cancelling people and cancelling works of fiction.

This is about in particular two situations that triggered this reaction on me that I consider both really dangerous, and though both probably came from an initial place of worry and accountability what they both achieved was the opposite.

I also come to tumblr, where probably almost no one will read me, but where I know cancel culture it’s more in hype. This is why I want this text to be on my blog, for anyone that follows me and anyone that might come after to see.

I’ll start with the problem of cancelling fiction. Because there’s a difference between being critic and wanting something to disappear from the face of the earth and fall into oblivion. You might think I’m exaggerating or using hyperbole to establish an argument, but I’m not. Cancel culture fueled by rage doesn’t look for reparation, doesn’t look for growth, doesn’t look for real accountability it looks to burn and destroy. Cancel culture it’s fueled by shame because those who foment it cannot stand something problematic to exist, but even worse cannot stand that to exist within them. Now tell me, how is this not close to burning books, something most conservative cultures have done several times when disagreeing with a particular posture or when fearful of the reaches of fiction to critical and open minded thinking. 

Fiction is not there to paint you pretty worlds in which every single character it’s perfect for you, fiction it’s not there to be morally acceptable to you, fiction is not there to rewrite history and tell you an unproblematic version of it. Fiction is there to be read critically, to be interpreted, to be questioned and to question as well, that’s why it is highly feared by dictatorships and extreme governments. You read something (and by this I mean book, tv show, movie, audio, ANY type of fiction that its read when its interpreted) and you can point its flaws, see its blind spots, learn from its characters and then maybe get inspired and write something that speaks more closely to you. What cancel culture does, though, is not even read it critically, but just throw it to the fire pit and watch it burn while warning anyone else to not ever read it again, not form your own opinions, not create new critics, NOT held it accountable, because how can someone hold something accountable without having the chance of reading it? No, just ignore it, forget it, burn it, because it’s problematic.

My example for this is Hamilton. I’ve been hearing for ages that it has become problematic and thus it should be canceled, but until now I haven’t been able to reach the arguments behind it. But of course with the whole release from Disney everything exploded, and by everything I mean a weird mixture between the people that want to cancel Lin Manuel Miranda and the ones that want to cancel Hamilton, and the ones that mix both and conclude the best way of doing it it’s canceling Hamilton first. For the sake of this argument I will focus only in the canceling of Hamilton which gets based in four principal arguments: 1. It portrays as main characters problematic people who were real life slavers, and shows them instead as the heroes founding fathers of the USA, without addressing their problems one by one. 2. Lin Manuel Miranda’s relationship with Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico’s policies and the way he brought Hamilton to Puerto Rico. 3. Some well done critical articles that don’t cancel either, but rather present what happened and what both Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton should be held accountable critically, but instead are used to cancel both of them. 4. The fact that Alexander Hamilton, the real figure, it’s portrayed free of charge of also engaging in problematic behaviors specially those related to slavery and the creation of banks and kind of the capitalist culture of the US.

Now, in the sake of criticism and holding things accountable but NOT cancelling them, let’s address each one by one: 1. Hamilton its based in real people that were problematic, and slavers and racist, BUT that also coincidentally fought for the independence of the US and were the founding fathers, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can cancel them and want to forget they existed but the truth is that the US it’s what it is because of them and their actions, and actually most of today’s issues with race and capitalism are because of that history, and until we all accept the US comes from that we wont be able to change it and move on, REMEMBERING were it came from. Believe me, being a person of color that comes from colonialism and that had to come to the hard truth that I am what I am because of the people that came and killed and raped and stole, and that I even carry part of their blood because most latin American population is mixed race, and that just is what it is, I understand how hard but necessary this process is. Do I think Christopher Colombus should be praised each year and celebrated in statues all across the world? HELL NO, do I think we should all kill him in our memories forever and cancel him? HELL NO, because I come from that, it’s part of who I am, and I’ll remember him, but holding him accountable for the genocide and exploitation of the land and people of America, and for in the end forming part of the mixed race I belong to. Denying or canceling this or him would be canceling a part of myself that I HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. So, yes. The founding fathers were problematic, hell yeah, they were racist as well, but the musical Hamilton addresses this in some ways that the story Lin Manuel Miranda is trying to tell allows, without only focusing on it because that’s one of its flaws we have to hold the musical accountable for even if its out of the reach of the musical. What the musical actually DOES is that it casts people of color in their roles as a criticism and a way of saying that the US of now is not the white US they were trying to make back then, and that the power should shift, and OF COURSE he is criticizing slavery not only by the verses in the Cabinet Battle that everyone seemed to conveniently forget, but also in this subversion of casting and the way he decided to tell this very traditional part of history through RAP, a genre that comes and its largely belonging to black culture. This is actually a clever way of holding a history you cannot change, accountable for its previous violences, and also calling out current violences that people will only come to notice by watching the musical and questioning themselves about why they expect other cast, music and history, and that’s all in the nuances you can only get from READING through it. 

While we are at it let’s address point 4: I don’t know which musical these people has been seeing but Hamilton is hardly a saint, neither presented as one, in the musical, he is a tragic character at best, he has a lot of qualities but these same qualities are the ones that condemn him to disgrace and ultimately early death. But he is mostly shown as a human, and I honestly don’t know in which part of cancel culture “human” started being equivalent to pure and free of charge but that’s far from it. Human means conscious, capable of mistakes and capable of causing hurt, but also capable of growing and reparation that heals oneself and others. Do I wished the musical would have been more critical of the way Hamilton introduced a capitalist culture as the best one and the way he criticized slavery but did nothing about it personally... yes, but the only way I can make this criticism and hold it accountable is because I watch and listened to it, took the good and identified the bad, and recognized both.

The second and third point have absolutely nothing to do with the musical whatsoever, but with its creator and the poor interpretation of proper criticism. And thus is that what should be held accountable, Lin Manuel Miranda as a person, and the situations that happened related to him and his decisions. Now, about the link of profit and “supporting” Hamilton, by all means don’t do this if you think him and the people involved (because a musical it’s never done by just one person), doesn’t deserve it. I, for one, I’m certain that Disney does not need or deserve a single dollar more, they are quite rich already. But not watching Hamilton when its eventually published in Disney + is miles away from erasing Hamilton from existing, not listening to its songs and forgetting about it because it is problematic. These last things are the equivalent of burning it, and I recommend listening to the song Burn from the same musical to learn about what fire does to words.

Now, the problem of cancelling people. If in fiction cancelling it’s equivalent to burning books in human beings its equivalent to murder, and I’m not exaggerating here either, because it is. And again here there’s a difference between holding people accountable for their mistakes and just erasing them from the face of the earth because they fucked up. And here the same problem as before stands, if you cancel them you are also taking away the opportunity of holding them accountable, because if there’s no one there to listen, then why would they even bother saying sorry and trying to fix their wrongs. Basically, cancelling people not only murders them but also gives them a free pass to be someone else and not repair those they hurt with their problematic behavior before. Like, what the fuck do you think happens in peace treaties after wars and process of reparation and restitution are in place? THE OPPOSITE OF CANCEL CULTURE. In reparation processes after a lot of violence has been done to victims, the process is to listen and hear words of repentance, that help victims heal and forgive, so BOTH parts can continue living a better life. Because turns out in the end we are all human beings that want to live and continue to live and we only get ONE life to do so, and if you take the chance for a person to live their lives, then how is that not taking also their lives away? How is not giving the possibility of growth and forgiveness not burning them alive, as if you get to choose over their future??

My example for this case is Jenna Marbles, and how ridiculous and upsetting is that people really wanted to cancel her from mistakes she made AGES ago, that she clearly grew from, as it’s evident from the person she is now and her everyday current actions, and also from the way she is clearly ashamed and upset about it, as it’s clear from the fact she had private the offensive videos so people didn’t reach them and get hurt by them. Jenna is a human being, that’s also clearly hurt by what she did but mostly from the fact that no matter what you do, how you repair, how you grow, the internet is fixated in letting you drown in your mistakes forever, and I’m sorry but how is that not killing someone and not letting them live their life to be a better person? How is that not as problematic as the so judged original behaviors?

In the end I just want for all of us to stop being so hypocritical at aiming judgements and cancelations at everyone else before looking at ourselves, our own violences and problems and understanding if we could grow and be critical of them to continue living, then so can others.

How about we let them do so.

[mossflowermouse]

[As with the third part, I wrote this post several months ago while reading WCaHSS for the first time]

Fourth and final post of my thoughts while reading ‘When Chist and His Saints Slept’. (part one, part two, part three). I read most of this part in one sitting, so it’s a bit of a mess and I gave up on trying to separate the chapters partway through.

In this part, nobody dies, ever, and they’re all happy. Robert gets to see his grandchild grow up. Matilda lives to see peace. Brien...um. Yeah I honestly don’t know how to fix that without rewriting 25ish years of history.

XXXI-XXXIII

Ancel confronting Ranulf. Oh dear.

Enjoying all the scenes of Stephen, Matilda, de Ypres and Bishop Henry deciding matters (and not just because the trusted inner circle is literally "extremely close family and William de Ypres"

"Stephen had been closeted all morning with his wife, his brother, and William de Ypres, gloomily assessing their options." What did I just say about this little group and how well-trusted de Ypres is. I appreciate the narration laying it out as clearly as that.

Matilda's worried that something's wrong with him :(

And Chester, having been freed, has now switched sides once again (now loyal to Maude's son Henry). I think by this point he's definitely racked up more betrayals than the Bishop.

Ypres is going blind. I hope Matilda was able to reassure him about what would happen.

XXXIV-XXXVI

Oh my god. Okay. Henry, now 14, invaded England, couldn't pay his troops, and ended up writing to STEPHEN for help with payment. And Stephen agreed. Wow. This family.

That was quite the list of barons going off on crusade - mostly Stephen's supporters, unless I'm mistaken.

Annora's pregnant and Ranulf's being reckless.

He saw Annora but didn't speak to her. I think that's that.

Oh no he's back and being asked if he's heard. Heard what. I'm very afraid to turn the page.

Gilbert's dead. After everything he'd survived.

No. Oh no. Ranulf's gone to Bristol and Robert is apparently dying. That was my main fear a few pages back, that if someone was dead it was Robert - Ranulf's close to him and he's older than most of them.

Robert's dead. His family was there, though, and Maude arrived just in time with her son. I'm getting a little choked up.

Aww, Stephen and Matilda and Ypres <3 it’s really sweet seeing how much all three of them trust and care about each other by now

XXXVII

Ranulf's gone and nobody knows where.

Maude and Brien :( this entire scene. Just. My heart.

So this is Maude's final goodbye to England and the people there.

Brien and Adeliza and Hugh watching her ship from the beach even after everyone else has left 

everyone on the ship finding somewhere to shelter during the crossing and Adeliza and Hugh finally leaving and then it’s just Maude and Brien still looking out over the sea until they can’t see each other any more

something something Brien something something England I’m too emotional to even look for symbolism in this right now

That was a very depressing few chapters. I'm in mourning not just for Robert, but for everything that's been lost.

XXXVIII-XLII (a mix of ‘too gripping to write stuff’ and ‘I’m still emotionally compromised by the many things that happened leading to Maude’s departure’)

Maude's seen her sons for the first time in eight years.

I'd assumed Ranulf would come back eventually, but what if he doesn't?

Loth! No!

I like all the people Ranulf's meeting

XLIII, XLIV

Henry and Ranulf's campaign is really driving home how long this war has gone on for - half their powerful allies are the now-grown children of Maude's allies (plus Harry and Eustace themselves were children at the start of this war). But also they're all so young.

Poor citizens of Lincoln. Again.

Oh wow, Geoffrey did something good. I'll concede that he's generally been a good father, but pretty much everything else about him means it was still kind of a surprise that he'd give Henry his title of Duke of Normandy.

XLV

Rhodri is suggesting Ranulf marry Eleri and Rhiannon's upset :(

(Also it's kind of weird from a modern perspective because first cousins, and Ranulf brought up that they'd need a papal dispensation in England, but I'm going to try and see this from the point of view of 12thc rural Wales)

Ranulf wants to marry Rhiannon, not Eleri! Yay!

Wait, will he be going back to Normandy at all? Does Maude get to see him again? (I'm assuming Maud and Harry will because they'll be in England and easier to visit.)

And he's going to tell Rhiannon :)

Ranulf's 31? What. When did this happen. Rationally I know how much time this book's covered, but it's difficult to not still think of him as 18/19. Or even as the toddler Stephen stopped from falling into the sea.

XLVI

Timeskip, and Ranulf and Maud are visiting Maude!

...grieving? Who's dead this time?

Ranulf and Rhiannon are going to have a kid :)

"A friend of your mother's has died." I'm narrowing it down to Brien and Adeliza. Possibly Amabel. Doesn't bode well regardless.

BRIEN NO :( and Adeliza's already died apparently.

:( :( :(

Truce with Louis of France - and Henry's mention of the chance he'll meet Eleanor of Aquitaine for the first time reminds me, they're going to be married at some point. His line seems a bit meta.

There she is!!! Finally!

A blur of the remaining 200 pages:

I like her already

Ooh, so their eventual marriage was Eleanor's idea.

Geoffrey's dying. I feel bad for Henry, but also am not remotely as upset as for the various other deaths.

MATILDA OH NO

She's apparently ill and asking to see her confessor. Please no.

Matilda :(

(also side note that she died on my birthday)

And the monks are grieving too. The description of the funeral :(

William de Ypres just showed up to visit her tomb. I cannot take any more sadness today.

Henry and Eleanor may have underestimated the opposition to their marriage (and I wasn't expecting Geoff to actually switch sides, certainly not so soon)

Maude's lost so much.

(But also, aww, nice scene with her and Will)

They've won the war with Louis. That was fast.

Good lord, Stephen almost ordered the death of a five-year-old. Also wow Marshal, that was quite a gamble.

Stephen's besieging Wallingford; Henry's going to its aid. They're all talking about its symbolic value, and I agree (and am a little sad every time someone mentions Brien - it may have been over a year for them, but I only got to his death a few hours ago). It's also making me think the end might be near, and not just because there's less than a hundred pages (and two years of Stephen's reign) remaining - iirc, the Stephen-Henry succession was formalised by the Treaty of Wallingford.

Will and Roger joining Henry and Rainald to free Wallingford is giving me emotions about the people who didn't live to see the end of this war.

I really love this part with Stephen and Ypres:

they’ve come so far and trust each other so much and I can feel Matilda’s ghost in this scene because this never would have happened without her

His first loyalty is still to Matilda, when he’s thinking about Eustace he refers to him as “Matilda’s son”, my heart

Of all the ways I was expecting Eustace to go, choking on lamprey eels was not one of them.

Eleanor's had her child!

Twelve years since Winchester. It doesn't feel like that much, probably because I was reading that part yesterday. (yikes I've read about half this book in two days, it's too good)

Rumour has it that Chester's dying. Like Ranulf, I'm finding that hard to take in - he's just the sort of person who doesn't seem killable, by disease or person. And he's grown on me over the last few hundred pages.

The agreement's been reached. I'm glad it was in Winchester.

Henry's just met Thomas Becket. I look forward to seeing this go horrifically wrong in the next book.

Aaand there's a conspiracy to kill Henry. Because nothing can ever just go straightforwardly well in the 1100s.

Stephen's dying.

@de Ypres would it kill you to admit to having an emotion

Okay, I have tears in my eyes from that line about Maude  - "a smile nineteen years overdue"

The end.

[kendrixtermina]

Someone finally uploaded a Kingdom Route run with everyone recruited!

So imma be doing a bit of reacting

Kingdom!Ignatz works a bit like Empire!Felix  - He wanted to go his own way unlike what his parents said and is thus following Byleth. In this case it’s of course somewhat less angsty ‘cause the Victors have the means to flee if necessary, unlike Rodrigue who was a prominent leader of the kingdom side of things

In an interesting parallel to how half the cast abandons the kingdom cause it’s a sinking shipload of kamikaze, on the other routes, Raphael complains about the instability and confusing politics of the alliance and how she should probably grab Maya and his grandfather and get them to Garreg Magh. I suppose a lot of people without connections or political accumen must feel this way. the monastery IS light javelin proof, so yeah...Raphael isn’t salty toward Claude himself tho. Then again he has little capacity for salt and in his paralogue it’s kinda shown that he makes a deliberate choice to live a low-salt lifestyle its not just obliviousness, he actively doesnt want grudges or awkwardness in his life

Leonie is also here to babysit Byleth and tells them not to let Dimitri push them around 

Hilda: “The Monastery is a mess. So is Dimitri. I’m only here because Byleth is competent and Holst is annoying“

Dorothea and Bernie have so far gotten identical dialogues to the church route

Lysithea is interesting and kinda morally ambiguous. She says outright that she cares nothing for the kingdom or anything other than a peaceful life for her parents. She wants to get at the slitherers for her own revenge and they’re in the empire so she finds Dimitri’s revenge obsession convenient. Also very ironic cause, are she and Edelgard gonna fight each other because they both want to get at Thales? Very interesting bc vanilla BL doesn’t adress the slitherers that much - of course Lysithea says she has beef with “the empire” and doesn’t elaborate. At the same time Lysithea is MUCH more logical and self aware than most of the kingdom crew bar Sylvain so yeah

actually,  Lysithea, like Felix, has TONS of route specific dialogue. I guess the devs expected those two to get recruited a lot since they are just flat out the strongest students apart from the house leaders. 

The Kingdom is arguably just as infiltrated but Lysithea doesn’t know... and at this point Cornelia’s cooperating with the Empire anyways

General trend of the Alliance recruitees not being all that attached to the Alliance as they hardly knew each other at the start and half of them had nothing to do with politics

Nothing to do with the recruitees, but so THATS what happens if you propose to go to Fhirdiad first. Dimitri is like “You’re supposed to lead the church! Go rescue Rhea!” ...he doesn’t know the whole thing with Byleth being experimented on by Rhea (neither does Byleth at this point) but it is kinda low. Mitya you have no leg to stand on here indeed the main reason I was sympathetic to you last playthrough is that you never ASKED Gilbert & co to put you on the throne and made clear that you’re not interested in that... so following you was on them to an extent. but you don’t get to say “Do your Bishop job” (that Byleth never asked for) if you’re not doing your job cause you’re too busy doing your kamikaze raid. Then again he’s probably too emotional and just plain done with everything rn to see the contradiction/look at this with perspective he’s probably physically incapable of chilling out rn

It just ends with Byleth doing a pointed sadface. daamn Mitya don’t be mean to By-By she still believes in you dude : (  Though it makes sense he’s big on obligation he’s doing this revenge trip because he feels he must. So it’s more a distortion than it really is a contradiction, as far as he’s concerned he IS doing his duty...to the fallen. I guess if you can’t handle him at his “Go be a bishop or something” you don’t deserve him at his “my beloved~” 

Still hurts a bit tho. Especially when Claude, though not without his own agenda, was distinctly a good friend on the topic, “Teach you’re in charge now be more confident~ the church doesnt run you, you run the church”

Before Aillel Dorothea says something about the Kingdom people also looking undecided of where to march, but she also wonders if some fighting/ victory will quell uncertainty 

Also she and mercie are standing next to each other! Ive said before that it’s weird how they don’t rly have a support though they are the two most popular extroverted ppl on the campus... they GOTTA know each other at least on a smalltalk basis

Alois is like “These kingdom ppl dont seem to know what they want... but hey this allow YOU to shine as a leader”... so basically Byleth is running this show but for all that they’re a good field commander and decisive when it comes to immadiate practical problems, as far as big picture direction goes, well, Sothis’ “boulder” quote comes to mind. They just never had big attachments on convictions, the Felix support chain is also salient here. They kinda just did whatever job they were given until they found a bigger cause/purpose after throwing in their lot with one of the lords or the remaining saints.

I wondered how this would play out as the Kingdom route is very kingdom-specific, whereas Claude, Edelgard and the church all have an universal cause for people to get behind. I guess how this plays out is that before Dimitri’s turnaroud there’s the kingdom faction and the Byleth faction and Byleth is kinda trying to run the show as they think Dimitri would if he were at his best

Caspar is still on the more unphazed side but also substantially more phazed than on the church or GD routes, he wasn’t particularly close to Randolph but he’s not unaffected by Dimitri going a tad over the top here - he also has the takeaway that Dimitri probably never trusted him much since he was born in the empire.

Sylvain actually alledges something about Dimitri not socializing much with any Adrestians even back in the academy days if you recruit him on CF so this does not come out of nowhere. Also kinda makes me wish they had a support - theyre both naturals at smashing things but they have very different attitudes towards it. then again i suppose it would go alot like the raphael one

Ferdie recognizes Myrrdin is a strategically better location but as Aegir territory is closeby he wishes we could have invaded through there so he could take it back... Would the citizens want him back tho? After the war its a no-brainer cause he helped end it, the peasants arent going to complain about too much peace and prosperity nor are they gonna feel nostalgic about anyone who started a war with their tax money and then lost it, but if he waltzed into an area that had thus far been far from the frontlines, following his fathers’s exploitative management and 5 years of semi equal rights under edelgard? he might have been welcomed with  pitchforks, through no fault of his own. 

He says something implying hed like to come rescue his relatives implying that some of them are still alive. of course the pm deserves all Edelgard threw at him and then some, but id be curious about Ferdie’s other relatives. His mom probably looks just like him, because he sure didnt get the looks from his dad... or anything else really, apart from the crest and hair color. - though i think the a support with bernadetta implies that shes no longer around

Lorenz bitterly remarking that of course Claude and his dad eventually made peace since they both only serve their own interests. (”So long as their interests are in allignment they will continue to cooperate”)   Says the guy we just rescued from his endeavors in turncoatery. Lorenz you’re pretty opportunistic too, and as for your redeeming features Claude has those too - but of course you’ll never find out in this one. Still, it shows that he’s painfully aware that his father - whom he would have died protecting if we hadn’t spared him - is a villain and a hack

Claude isn’t super trusting and knows that he gets percieved as shifty so he promises people to get them theirs so that they support him out of self interest. No need to take a chace. Of course by the end of this route he WILL take big chance on Dimitri 

That says Lorenz is not SO biased that he can’t tell that Claude might be interested in working with the kingdom army

Lysithea (who surprisingly has TONS of unique dialogue here, and I like that it’s a complex mature plot) is having her doubts and not trusting Dimitri for all that she finds him an useful idiot. By and large you get the sense that many consider Byleth the leader of this operation, she’s glad that Byleth is there to issue sensible orders. She tells Byleth not to tell anyone and worries about what will happen once the empire’s vanquished. No faith in team Kingdom... at all. Understandable of course

Hilda’s dialogue is largely the same as in the church route and at times kinda the same in all routes but I like how she’s like “Claude might’ve looked like a lazy bum but he’s smart! If he says he’s on our side he will defs help!” before the gronder fiasco

A lot of NPCs stir the suspicion here so it stands out how much she totally trusts him like hes any other friend

As with the other routes with the recruitees you get an idea of what’s going on in the other territories such as Lysithea deducing that Judith must be backing Claude in his gambit

One moment you think Lorenz is going to add some somber insightful commentary to the sincerity of Claude’s offer but then he’s like, “Granted Dimitri is much improved. He must be asking us for help cause he trusts ME” XD Like... no friend. You’re almost right but if there’s anyone here he was faith in its Byleth. And then he’s even like, “Well no choice but to save poor Claudesy” On the one hand it shows that there not just pure hate there on the other... lulz. 

apparently one of the first things Dimitri did after getting his act together post gronder is profusely apologize to Caspar for that ugly business with Randolph. Thats a worthwhile detail and i want fanfic of it. Caspar being Caspar he wasnt really keeping a grudge, they’re a warrior clan and they were at war

They had to move out so quickly that Hilda had no time to go shopping in Fhirdiad #Priorities XD

Meanwhile Ignatz, like a normal person,  hopes his folks will be safe

hilda does eventually remember to maybe save her folks and claude but only after making Byleth promise to go on a shopping trip with her. Someone should probably write that fanfic

Someone told me that Ferdinand had some prominent critical lines but it was really just one, and it’s as I suspected actually just a variant of the same “a king can’t be emotional” line he gets in all the routes, this time with the addendum that if he turned around and decided to go rescue the capital, he might be capable of reason/being a decent leader after all.  granted I guess compared to how most of the Kingdom people go along with everything it comes off critical? IDK.

Lysithea misses Rodrigue :( 

Lorenz and Ignatz standing next to each other was a nice touch they have a fairly wholesome friendship

Leonie’s just glad that ol’ Mitya is “back to normal” especially since she’s pretty sure that they don’t have enough soldiers to get to Fort Merceus let alone Enbarr

For obvious reasons, Petra is pretty sympathetic about the whole “retaking Fhirdiad” thing

Seeing Seteth and Catherine so certain that Rhea would want them to save the people of Fhirdiad first when you know that she wouldn’t hesitate to set the place on fire is just...OUCH. Though it does show the goodness in Seteth and Catherine themselves. 

Manuela wishes she could’ve moved her informary to gronder and save a few more peeps :(

It seems like to Leonie, Dimitri will always be just “Dimitri”, King or not. Figures she aaaaalmost adressed even Byleth by name XD You really DO get the sense that he interacted alot with the recruitees

All the house leaders shouldve had more supports. 

If you grabbed hanneman he’ll give you some extra backstory on Cornelia - apparently she was originally from the empire and an eminent scholar whose great work Hanneman was vaguely aware of. I would assume that was still the real cornelia. Judging by the timing it sounds like she might’ve smuggled Patricia out of Adrestia. Assuming both were still original at this point this might present a possibility for why she trusted/vouched for cornelia without being complicit / lend itself to a “she was duped” reading

But it’s still suspicious that she would end up courting the second most powerful man in the land right after number one. 

Some had suggested that Cornelia caused the plague in the first place but the thing is there was a perfectly credible  “mundane” explanation for it (the city’s sewers not being up to date technologically) that theres no reason to doubt

Assuming that all the replacements occurred 14 years before part one when Arundel stopped his donations/ thins being about the time when Cornelia’s personality was noted to have changed completely, that would mean both the “fixing the severs” thing and the soppy story about how Edelgards’ parents met would be real 

AAAA everything to do with patricia is just so ambiguous - if they were longtime friends wouldn’t she have noticed something “off”? Same with her brother actually. Lambert had his own country so its not like there was no one to protect her. 

Ahhh THIS is how lorenz gets iinto the midset for that prissy, hes pissed that Claude dissolved the Alliance and misses it XD

you DO get to call him out for being a turncoat himself tho. particularly hilarious since Byleth just blinks and asks a casual question there

He immediately changes his tune

oh lorenz dear, i love you but you, sir, are WEAK xD

Lysithea as always calls everything and notes how suspicious arundel was alluding to the hrym nightmare also mentioned in her paralogue

She also mentions that he was said to be good and just at one point suggesting that there was a real Volkhard von Arundel at some point. 

if the replacement took place when those donations ceased then Edelgard and Dimitri were 3, 14 years before part 1. Early enough that this could be around the time Patricia left enbarr, if this is when it happened then the romantic tower story might be real assuming that the Arundels were replaced at the same time - whatever arrived in Faerghus recomended patricia for a job so it probably had already happened by then 

Its all so ambiguos tho we can only speculate there are so many possibilities

Ignatz marvels at how Claude managed to minimize damage to Alliance lands throughout the war, as in CF only Deirdru itself got particularly thrashed. Ignatz’ folks are safe and sound! Leave it to him to wonder where Claude might have absconded to. He was always one of the insightful ones but not in the same way as the other clever ones. More intuitive I guess. Cant remember if it was indentical to what you get if you spare Claude on CF (Cue the lets player remarking that Claude is probably stuck in a washing machine somewhere... he hadn’t cleared the Alliance route at that point)

Lol HILDA “And then the whole Alliance descended into chaos...” or actually she is surprised that that DIDNT happen and how orderly Claude managed the dissolution. “But I Guess we’re screwed if Dimitri turns out to be a crazed despot... he’s not gonna go crazy again is he?” You of little faith XD But she says all this in her usual cheery nonserious voice like

this chapter has a lot of unique dialogue actually

Linhardt  impressed that anyone would have the guts to attack Fort Merceus directly and suggests looking for weak spots in the old walls

He shows up guarding it in SS and Vw doesn’t he? Guess he was visiting Caspar or something - or would have been familiar with the place from visiting the Bergliez clan in the past. 

Ferdinand is wowed by Claude bowing out giving him kudos for caring about the peoples wishes. He thinks Edelgard ought to quit at this point and he’s alot harsher on her here than in any of the other routes. (”Not reveryone with noble blood has noble ideals” - Coming from Ferdinand that’s an accusation ) Interestingly at this point hes sticking with Dimitri cause post character developement, lots of ordinary ppl support him at this point and hes popular with the crowds. He’s wholly on the Savior King bandwagon, and maybe that’s why he’s harsher. He’s partial. Says something about him actually, largely good things when you think about it. Dimitri is probably the closest to what Ferdinand’s (and Lorenz’) own beliefs were. He likes the existing order and living in a fancy palace but he thinks the rulers should serve the people.

Its kinda ironic and sad because in ALL the other routes he clearly thinks Dimitri is an idiot and a bad ruler, and says he should be more composed and objective. But Dimitri wasnt at his best there now was he? 

 now ill be sad everytime I get to those “Ferdinand disses Dimitri” lines. They couldve been buds! 

but i dont see this happening in any other route. According to something Sylvain says in cf Dimitri avoided ppl from the empire  at the academy so they wouldnt have cozied up pre-timeskip, and its only the version of Dimitri who has his shit together which appeals to Ferdie as a leader. 

really torn here on the one hand its a nice synergy to see lorenz and especially Ferdinand (who is waaay less arroganz than lorenz) sort of getting to win on their own terms with a ruler that jives with them and their Lawful Good fantasy classic thing. It’s not just a status quo thing its a protectors of the people thing. It’s heroic.  On the other hand it feels like they’re stagnating when they could have had growth. This is basically the same Lorenz and the same Ferdinand we first met except slightly more mature.  Notably lorenz is the same in the church route whereas Ferdie isnt as he still ends up rebelling fleeing and fighting against the empire. It helps that he practically winds up leading the remaining Eagles, albeit under Byleth and Seteth.  

He still gets that line about being kinda sad to see the empire go though he knows there must be an end to the chaos, i think a few lines are different, so, not wholly without doubt

Shamir muses about hoe the three countries were once one and the same, but wonders that even if we put fodlan togethere theres no guarantee that it wouldnt come apart again. i mean there isnt, and wether thats a bad thing would depend a lot on the circumstances but its also possible that theyll get used to being one and forget they wrere ever separate. no one controls the far future... and should they? After all its always possible that someone in the future will have unforseeable circumstances or better ideas

Caspar sighs with relief that they didn’t have to fight his dad, last second worry about him turning up in the capital nonwithstanding... right does he get to live in this? Carpar wonders what’ll happen to him if they win, but he’s not holding down Faerghus so he might not have died the way he did in Silver Snow and Verdant Wind. It’s at least possible that he was captured alive and pardoned somehow. 

Marianne’s adoptive dad sure smelled which way the wind was blowing; He was supporting Claude’s strategy to get the Cloucesters back under controll but sent Marianne to curry favor with the kingdom. Make friends with whoever wins I suppose. Ambitious politician indeed. 

When she doesnt her from him in a while she wonders if he forgot about her but says she wouldnt mind that much because at least she wouldnt have to do any more politics? I distinctly recall that in gd there was something about how they got along better after the timeskip. Sigh. 

she is real glad that Dimitri and claude ended up cooperating in the end

So does Dorothea but then she makes herself sad wishing that Edelgard was also there :( Me too friend, me too.  I think thats the one unique line she gets this route. I like how it’s consistent in the church route she’s also the one who feels the most sad about betraying her, they were pretty close pre timrskip 

as far as leonies concerned Dimitri is still just Dimitri even after taking back his kingdom. i like to think hed appreciate that. its also very typical of leonie. as with the “Caspar gets an apology” thing plenty of the recruitees get lines hinting that theres been more personal interaction between them and dimitri, kinda goes with how ppl in his own house follow him more out of personal loyalty than because they follow his plans like with the other two. hes kinda a very approachable sort of leader, makes the decisions with the group or follows whatever gilbert and Byleth decide, in the other routes theres always a distinct inner circle. Its cool how they incorporated the recruitees into that dynamic. 

Petra is dissapointed that they DIDNT do a sneak attack on fort Merceus contrasting her usual line about how she likes sneak attacks.  Dimitri naps both that an Enbarr head on doesn’t he? The Church has a smaller Army full of peeps who would rather not destroy Enbarr, and Claude agrees with Petra on the sneak attack thing and then Edelgard did that sorta shady but largely very gutsy thing where she didn’t sound the evacuation to restrict Claude’s movements knowing that there was zero danger that he would plow through the civilians (they don’t do this here cause last time they met Dimitri he was not feeling merciful indeed judging by huberts welcome lines and engage quotes he doesnt buy the turnaround), the AM ending narration also suggests that Enbarr wasn’t rebuilt, though Dimitri gave distinct “No pillaging!” orders, so they probably just couldn’t avoid wrecking the buildings and relocated the citizens. 

Ashe also speculates where Claude went. That’s one of the things i like about Ashe he consistently averts out of sight out of mind I particularly always loved how he consistently worried about Dedue. Someone ought to. 

Ingrid interestingly changed her tune here / kinda speaks positively of claude here - in CF she was like “I always though he was creepy”

Then again that was before fighting him I don’t recall If those two dont get the same lines if you spare Claude,  have to go back and check

id like to mention that the lets player put lorenz in the pyjamas/loungewear the whole time as “punishment” for being late to the reunion and poked fun at him throughout.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Ch. 3 - Dimple Objection!

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, she is doing a bad job.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s probably going to have to do something too. Maybe.

There’s a dude named Channing who wants to punch and have sex with Alexia, and Ivy is getting married to some rich slub, even though she’s in wub with Maccon’s servant Tunstell.

Chapter 3 - Dimple Objection

So Aleixa and her husband Connal Maccon stir post-colitis where they actually do some talking but with little of that bullshit sparring they do. I WILL TAKE CLUNKY EXPOSITION OVER SNIPPY FLIRTING ANY DAY! I could do without Maccon referring to Alexia as “Woman” and “Wife” but I think that’s just something that irrationally bugs me.  They get to talking about the humanization problem.  Maccon talks about how werewolves used to rule Egypt but then a ~plague~ came through that killed most of them, and that this plague still shows up now and again.  

Alexia admits that during her research, she didn’t bother to read any of her father’s books on Egypt because Greek and Roman books are much more interesting to her.

Damn I wish I could read books I found cool for my job, instead of actual relevant research.

In fact it borders on racist when she says direct quote:

“Alexia had always been more interested in the classical world.  There was something unfortunately fierce and passionate about the Nile and its environs.  She was much too practical for Arabic with its flowery scrawl when Latin, with all its mathematic precision, made for such an attractive alternative.”

Yeah Egypt, one of the birthplaces of tedious bureaucracy is way fiercer than the Greek city states like yanno Sparta constantly waging war with one another.  Or like the Romans who like never fought nobody.  Also Latin ALWAYS MAKES SENSE as a language and the Arabic people never were very math-orientated, R16H7?

Stop pretending you know anything about actual history you bigoted dolt!

So they fuck again in another fade to black sequence.

Alexia wakes up again to find that her husband is gone without saying anything AGAIN! He was engaging in this bullshit writing technique before you married him girl, I don’t know whats to tells ya.

She goes down for supper (she lives on a nightly schedule cause werewolves I guess) and some of Maccon’s brigade is there.  She has to squeeze and squeeze to get anything out of Lyall, and Lyall acts like it’s SUCH A BOTHER to have to explain to Alexia that her husband pissed off to some other vague place on some urgent matters.  He just says southern Scotland and gives no context and that’s fine? Alexia thinks it has to do with her bringing up that Alpha werewolf who died mysteriously.  So now we have to have oh so sextacular Channing pout that Maccon’s not there. And every single time he’s brought up they have to shoehorn in some horseshit about how he’s just the most fuckable.  I.E

“Major Channing’s pretty mouth twisted at that.”

Though at some point Major Channing says the ~incident with the boat~ that brought them back is that apparently AROUND EGYPT his whole crew had their supernatural abilities sapped for several days, and while their powers returned they came back anyway cause that shit shady.

Oh golly, if only Alexia had questioned any single fucking military person BESIDES THE FUCKING HEAD OF IT she would have found that out.  GREAT!

After dinner she’s fussing with her hair and one of Maccon’s servant ghosts shows up. The ghost says that her husband left her a message to go to a hat shop in London cause like it’ll advance the plot nudge nudge.

Like what’s the fucking point of having everything so infuriatingly vague?  There better be a serious plot point later about a person working at their house who’s a traitor and that’s why they can’t fucking tell any whole truths to one another. But I highly doubt that’s going to be the case.

Since it’s a hat shop, and her friend Ivy always wears ugly hats, she decides to invite her friend out hat shopping.

Ivy is moping that she didn’t get enough visitors congratulating her on her engagement. Only 25 people came over! The other girl had 27 visitors!  This is framed as Ivy being an irritating attention whore.  But like Alexia you can’t fucking judge that shit. In the last book outright stated that your wedding was a masterpiece of social engineering, and that your dress changed the course of English fashion. It might as well ended with ALL THE HOT WEREWOLF MEN ALSO PROPOSED TO HER ON HER WEDDING, AND THEY HAD TO DIG A TRENCH TO REDIRECT ALL THE JEALOUSY TEARS FROM ALL THE LADIES WHO COULD JUST NEVER HOPE TO BE AS COOL AND HOT AND PERFECT AS HER!  If you only had 25 visitors Alexia you would be throwing a tantrum instead of quietly pouting like Ivy. Therefore Ivy is a saint in comparison.

SIGH!

So they go out to the hat shop and just as Ivy is about to pick up the ugliest hat, they are interrupted by Madame LeFoux.  I know this will somehow be ruined at some point but like I’m pretty sure Madame LeFoux is...well me.

She’s described as a woman who dresses masculine, but does not hide her figure, her hair is brown and cut short and boyish, she has cute dimples when she smiles, but the most obvious tell is that Alexia describes her, “Probably the most beautiful female she had ever seen.”                        

(A gif of spongebob riding a seahorse, with a glamrous wig blowing behind him. The tagline reads, “Bitch, I’m flawless.”)

Okay, okay she doesn’t look exactly like me.  She’s also supposed to have a small mouth, green eyes, and big old cheekbones and I don’t have those. Kudos for actually describing what the hot people look like in your story.  So I suppose I’ll set aside my vanity, and simply consider this one the new and improved MacDougall until proven otherwise. I have one weird caveat to this. When she says that LeFoux has dimples she makes a special note that, “Normally Alexia objected to dimples, but they seemed to suit this woman.”

(Gif of a spit-take.)

I’m sorry but THE FUCK?

SURE THE DEFENDANT HAS A ROCK-HARD ALIBI, BUT THEY HAVE A PHYSICAL FEATURE TYPICALLY CONSIDERED CHARMING AND ADORABLE! I REST MY CASE!

Does she think they’re too ~PRECIOUS~ or something? WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH DIMPLES!?

But, she doesn’t elaborate of course and it’s pretty obvious the author is into them with how frequently she brings them up.  LeFoux tries to convince Ivy to pick out another hat, and Alexia notices there appears to be some kind of lever underneath the ugly hat that Ivy was eyeing up.  There are other signs of like movable bookcases, and trapdoors and shit.  So she kinda says this shit under the radar to LeFoux and LeFoux, under the radar confirms there’s something ELSE at this place.  LeFoux also correctly guesses that she is speaking to, the one, the only, Lady Maccon.

And at that moment, BLAMO! AN EXPLOSION! A CLIFF-HANGER OH BOY!

Say something nice faps:

This book has like the 1st scene where Maccon and Alexia are like…humans with each other.  They snuggle and don’t verbally spar.  They just talk about exposition and work.  Alexia makes a sassy comment about someone they mutually know and Maccon remarks that she’s great at improving his mood.  Like a normal sweet couple!

Despite the author’s propensity for the sexy male leads to be temperamental idiots, she’s not above making fun of them and makes jokes at Channing’s expense.

We get some intrigue. I guess.

LeFoux is super-hot, and I actually think she won’t be directly demonized in order to intrigue the female readers who are less than 100% hetero. Like I kinda hope she doesn’t just hit on Alexia all the time, cause everybody does that anyway. Like I kinda want LeFoux to flirt with Ivy, who gets flummoxed but is into it.

[bidrums]

Religious Imagery in AHS Apocalypse from someone with a weird sense of humor that involves grape soda for some reason

BIG DISCLAIMER: Any and all views expressed here are my opinion and do not reflect the actual beliefs and operations of religions and their subsets. If I ever say anything incorrect, then please let me know and I will correct myself. This is not meant to be used as concrete evidence of any religion’s workings and should be used as the opinions of bidrums dot tumblr dot com. Also, the views of this blogger are entirely their own and should not be used to attack said blogger for using their First Amendment right of expressing their opinion. This is not an attack on AHS, Ryan Murphy, or any real persons or beliefs. Frustration does not equal open hate.

This has been a PSA because some people apparently can’t take an opinion without an essay before said opinion covering every base on how it’s potentially problematic instead of just leaving people the fuck alone.

Okay, so I would like to say something right off the bat that many people don’t know and that inadvertently caused my 10th grade chemistry class to think I was a Satanist for a few months (I’ll tell that story another time):

AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS IS NOT A FUCKING SATANIC CROSS IT IS A CHRISTIAN CROSS THAT IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM LOOKS LIKE THE LEVIATHAN CROSS- THE ACTUAL SATANIC CROSS ACCORDING TO A QUICK GOOGLE SEARCH (Tumblr won’t let me post pictures of the two but look them up sorry for the lack of pictures)

One looks way more like a dick

If you need a quick way to distinguish the two, remember that the Satanic cross is the fancy one that looks like a dick okay I’ll stop with that

Why does this bother me so much? Well, I am a Christian, and I was taught from a young age (and when I say young, I mean 5) that crosses look different and some of them represent people other than Jesus.

So Peter- one of the most famous of the Twelve- was sentenced to be crucified like Jesus. Which he was surprisingly chill with, apart from the detail of the cross itself. He said that he was not worthy to be crucified in the same way Jesus was, so put tin a different position. The Romans obliged and put him upside down, which is arguably a much worse position to be crucified in (look up what being crucified will do to your body to understand how sick it actually is- part of what hurt so much was that they put the nails right next to the funny boy so the slightest movement would hit it).

Peter had some serious balls.

I fully understand why people would think an upside down cross would be more Satanic than Saint-like. It makes perfect sense, actually. If a regular cross represents Jesus, then wouldn’t flipping it upside down be a way of disrespecting God, and by extension be more Satanic? It’s actually pretty sound logic. That’s another part of why it’s annoying to see it aligned with Satan, since to me it’s really awesome how something that’s seemingly disrespectful actually came out of a deep, passionate, respect and admiration.

Now, because the fact that Satanic crosses are super phallic fancy isn’t exactly common knowledge, I won’t be openly annoyed at Ryan and crew for going with it.

Or, at least, I wouldn’t.

Because they obviously understand some religious imagery and what it actually means.

Another common misbelief is that 666 is the number of the Devil.

Again, it comes from. a logical place. 7 is the Biblical number of Perfection, and 6 by extension is less than perfection. That paired with the fact that in the book of Revelation, 666 is associated with the Apocalypse will lead to the conclusion that it’s the number of the Devil.

But it isn’t!

And Ryan acknowledges that multiple times!

Revelation 13:16-18– “He required everyone- small and great, rich and poor, free and slave- to be given a mark on the right hand or on the forehead. And no one could buy or sell anything without that mark, which was either the name of the beast or the number representing his name. Wisdom is needed here. Let the one with understanding solve the meaning of the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man (in some versions, “of humanity”). His number is 666 (or in some versions, “616″).”

This is referring to the Beast from the Earth, commonly believed to be the Antichrist. Funnily enough, in Episode 6, Vivien quotes a passage about a beast, but it’s the Beast from the Sea:

“Then I saw a beast rising up out of the sea. It had seven heads and ten horns, with ten crowns on its horns. And written on each head were the names that blasphemed God. This beast looked like a leopard, but it had the feet of a bear and the mouth of a lion! And the dragon gave the beast his own power and throw and great authority.”- Revelation 13:1-2, Vivien’s quote.

“Then I saw another beast come up out of the earth. He had two horns like those of a lamb, but he spoke with the voice of a dragon. He exercised all the authority of the first beast. And he required all the earth and its people to worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed.”- Revelation 13:11-12, the one with 666.

Yeah, it’s a bit confusing and honestly I’m making a bit of a big deal of this seeing as almost everyone I’ve known has mixed up the two but in this case it’s not being overdramatic so much as being annoyed.

Why?

Because Ryan did enough research to know that 666 is more commonly associated with the Antichrist and not Satan, and that it’s called the number/mark of the Beast, and even got a Bible passage to quote but used one referring to the wrong Beast and still uses upside down crosses to represent Satan!

Okay, in this episode I honestly wondered if he was using it to show how clueless the Satanists are but nope, it’s Satan. And my headache grew because he obviously does his research, but he relies on lazy cliches to drive some of the plot forward, and that just devalues the genuinely clever religious references. And it’s disappointing because there’s some genuinely clever parts that are great, but the way they’re written and presented and paired with the misinformation devalues everything and lessens their impact and also confuses everyone!

Wow that was a really bad way to segway into the last point sorry guys

So the scene in the forest is actually really clever and here’s why:

I’m not the first person to make this comparison, but the forest scene heavily invokes a parallel to Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness.

I haven’t seen the Exorcist, so don’t expect me to even come close to whatever that was. I also burst out laughing when he said, “Are you my father?” to the goat because 1) Black Phillip from the VVitch anyone? and 2) it sounded like the Dr. Seuss book “Are you my Mother?” and I couldn’t.

But the temptation part was really interesting and clever, I think.

Just a quick recap of the story in case anyone isn’t familiar with it: Jesus goes out into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and doesn’t eat or drink anything for that duration (fun fact: that’s what Lent represents and why we give something(s) up). After the 40 days and nights, Old Scratch shows up and is like, “Yo, I got bread that you need to live.” and Jesus says, “Remember where it’s written that man doesn’t live by just great but also the word of God? I’m good.” Then Lucy takes him to a high point in the world and goes, “You worship me and it’s yours” and Jesus goes, “No thanks.” Then they go to a super high point right next to a populated city and Satan says, “If you jump, God has promised that his Son will have the protection of Angels and will not be hurt. Prove that’s legit.” and at this point Jesus gets fed up and says, “Yeah, but Dad also said that he won’t be tested for some vanity project, so get lost!” Satan leaves, then some Angels come and give Jesus food and refreshments and help him recover from the self-imposed starvation.

I think that scene in the forest was Michael being tempted by God, as a parallel to this.

It’s weirdly edited and confusing and not that great, but that’s what I think it was and thought it was while watching it.

Let’s break it down: Michael is in the woods for 4 days without food or water. He is then tempted with grape soda and an apple- food needed to live that he hasn’t had for a time period that’s a multiple of 4. Then he has people who admired him talking to him/confronting him/expressing their admiration for him because of who he is- the adoration and attention received by his powerful nature. An Angel-like figure approaches and expresses Heavenly affections- God sending his Angel to the one being tempted, as was promised. Finally, animals associated with the Devil show up- the temptation is over, and the spiritual guardians show up.

It’s a subtle callback to it, but it does check out. Writing like this is what annoys me when lazy writing happens because Ryan and crew obviously know what they’re doing and referencing, but they can’t be bothered to even find new ways to subvert the cliches while keeping the gross sacrifice parts.

Anyways, that’s my rant on this. Thanks for reading!

[wxldchxld]

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Unpopular Opinions as Told by Mary

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Ummmm Daenerys’ dragons look really fuckin stupid. Yeah. Sorry. This one isn’t going to be super in depth or really even justified by any arguments. I respect the Game of Thrones developers for going for it, and like the execution of it graphics wise is actually really impressive given its a TV show and all, but the model is so bad. Did GRRM make it? I really fucking hope not. From a distance when I see them in shots I’m like “yo cool” and then I see their faces and they look so stupid to me and it just ruins it. I’m really picky about dragons so this probably doesn’t come as a surprise. 

Also side rant, why is it so popular to give dragons a weird bottom jaw where it like, protrudes. They did it with Smaug and to a lesser extent they do it with Dany’s dragons. What the fuck is that modeled after? It’s not a snake. It’s not crocodilians. The only thing I can think is maybe some species of monitor lizards? And I’m only granting that bc I really don’t know due to the fact that there are a lot of monitor lizard species. Including this dope one that I’ve modeled dragons after on my dragon blog. 

I guess what drives me nuts is like I feel like there’s no originality in the design. I haven’t read Dany’s parts in the books but from what I have been told at least the coloration is more intense. There are so many species of reptiles, real and extinct, that they could have pulled from to make something that looked really cool…but they didn’t.

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The words “alpha wolf” need to die in a fire. And I’m not trying to come at some of the people I know follow me that use that term. It’s just become this really huge thing that infects so much of lore that has to do with modern day werewolves (such as in The Originals) and even bleeds over into things like the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire fandom and just about anywhere you see wolves you eventually hear the term alpha.

The term in and of itself is annoying because it’s not a thing that exists. Wolves don’t live in a pack where they just automatically submit to the strongest wolf, nor do they live in social structures that cause them to battle with one another to see who is on top. Wolves live in family groups usually run by the breeding pair and the offspring of the last few years. The only reason we ever really thought that “alpha wolf” was a thing was because a couple of researchers massively popularized its usage after studying primarily (in fact I think it was exclusively) captive wolf packs where individuals were brought in from various places in the world and forced to live together. And while I’m not saying that all studies should be thrown out if they’re done on captive bred wolves, I think it’s poor practice to say “this is how all wolves are” when you haven’t taken into consideration what natural family groups do. 

So it’s annoying, because it’s not a thing, but it’s also—-really boring to me. We miss the fact that these incredible animals have evolved to have things like a sense of fairness and the ability to cooperate, but the thing that we focus on is that “this is the alpha and its very important to them.” Family is important to them. I’d love to see more media that involved wolves that represented not only how their family groups actually work, but also didn’t make that such a central point for their plots. 

I’m not going to go into uses of the term outside of fiction or address the A/B/O fanfiction. My point is that I personally as a reader find it overused and boring. I understand that since its fiction, there will be inaccuracies in order to fit your narrative. Hell, I have some with Beck and the animals that pop up on this blog. My problem isn’t the inaccuracy alone, it’s the inaccuracy being used to beat a long dead horse (and occasionally as a method of god modding but—I won’t go further into that either). 

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And since I’m just going all in on the GoT shit tonight (sorry guys) Also this is going to make an already very long post massive, and I’m sorry.

… Yara Greyjoy is actually a good character and her book counterpart isn’t nicer nor is she just “better” for some vague undefined reason. She’s not a perfect character, she’s not a necessarily nice person, but Yara Greyjoy is arguably one of the better characters on the show IMO and I wish that she would have gotten way more screen time than she really did.

The worst part of this weird like #notmyAsha argument (and I’ve seen that tag used before it was hilarious) is that people complain that she’s not nice to Theon and that because she either doesn’t have or cannot convey compassion and empathy regarding his trauma, that it’s somehow a valid plot point for her to be tortured so they can bond over mutual trauma. This is gross and I hate it.

Full disclosure Theon Greyjoy is one of my favorite characters in show and book canon, but he is kind of a garbage human being and I love him in spite and often because of that. Now onto our feature presentation: 

Yara Greyjoy doesn’t owe her brother shit. Not even a little. She has zero reason to do anything other than perceive him as unstable and a threat to the position she hopes to claim. Don’t complain to me about how mean Yara is to Theon while simultaneously ignoring the fact that he only stopped treating her like garbage once he’d been horribly traumatized. He was TEN when he was taken from the Iron Islands, and she was older than him and he—didn’t recognize her. So yeah she manipulates him, but he could have very easily put a stop to it if he remembered her or if he just wasn’t such a horny prick in general. He tries to demean her in front of their father, insults her, and shouts at her. Not saying she didn’t deserve it, but you can’t exactly paint him as the saint in the situation either.

I could go on with a million reasons Yara is actually a lot nicer to Theon in the show than the books, and why she’s not obligated to do anything for him at all, but I’d be here for hours. 

What bothers me is the conclusion that because Yara has been mean to him that she somehow deserves to be punished by being tortured or that she needs to be tortured in order to ever like understand her brother. Both of those things are like the craziest logic in the world to me. 

First off: no. Yara tried to save Theon. It’s not Yara’s fault he got in that situation, it’s his own, and she tried to rescue him. Then she allowed him back into her home at a critical time, and rather than being ashamed of him for being “weak” she brings him with her to political meetings and presents him as what is essentially her version of a “hand.”

Second: y’all that’s not how mental health works. Theon’s not ok, and if they write him as ok they’re bad writers. You don’t get over trauma that fast. Especially not because of like one conversation you had with your sister while she made out with a topless hooker in a brothel, and a fight on the beech where you got kneed in the balls you don’t have. Theon is still traumatized and he deserves a plot where his sister learns to see that, acknowledge it, and try to understand him. You don’t throw two traumatized people together and just say “well they have both been horrifically abused… they understand one another.” and then things get better. If anything those people are more likely to be self destructive and dangerous because neither of them are in a good place mentally to make sound and rational decisions. 

So yeah, the point I was trying to make but got really distracted from because I’m very salty about all the Yara hate I see is that she’s actually a good character in comparison to the others in the show and it’s not ok to wish she would be tortured just for the sake of making Theon ok bc a) that won’t work and b) for the millions time: it’s gross.

[welovekpopscenarios]

5 Times Winwin Tried to Kiss You and One Time He Did (50s!AU Winwin x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Or, the story of how Winwin pined for years over his best friend who he just could never kiss.

Fandom: NCT 127/U

Genre: Fluff, bit of angst

Pairing: Winwin x Reader

Warnings: Very brief mentions of alcohol and smoking, otherwise none!

Word Count: 6k+

A/N: Back at it again with another fic lmao I wanted to write for someone other than SVT (I can’t help it they’re my bias group !!) and I thought up this kind of story a while back (I always liked the 5 times kind of fics) and decided Winwin needs more love because i rarely see fics for him. Also this was supposed to be Preppy!Winwin but there wasn’t really much preppy, unless you squint. Happy reading, feedback is loved and helps a lot!

The lively atmosphere of the playground; the laughing children climbing wildly around the monkey bars or soaring high above the world on the swing sets, the waiting parents lost in deep conversation with each other about the changing world, even the chime of the ice cream truck that had crowds gathering to get a taste of the frozen treat, all fell deaf to little Sicheng’s ears as he stared at you sitting peacefully in the sand box and building your own bizarre creations. He did not know it at the time, being much too young to understand anything about the world around him, about himself, about feelings, but years later he would realise that this overwhelming feeling of happiness and warmth and all things good while he watched you was what the romance novels liked to call ‘love at first sight’.

While he didn’t have the best grasp at social cues and manners, there were some things he picked up from his parents. Like, saying please and thank you, offering your seat to the elderly woman on the bus, and how to treat someone you like nicely. And he reasoned, since his mother and father liked each other so much, that whenever they pecked each other’s lips sweetly every so often, that it was just something that people do when they liked each other.

And he liked you very much.

So, when Sicheng introduced himself to you (albeit very nervously, sweaty hands wiping on the rough fabric of his shorts or fiddling with his suspenders), and you smiled at him, inviting him to build sandcastles with you, he thought it the perfect opportunity to show you just how much he liked his new friend.

And so, he leaned his face towards yours, puckered his lips, and prepared to try something new with someone who made him inexplicably happy and excited-

-only to receive a mouth full of sand and a very shocked expression on your face.

He doesn’t remember much after that, it was all a rush of spitting and wiping sand from his lips and you screaming in his ear about how you should “ask a gal first before you kiss ‘em! It’s what my sister told me!”. He went home that day with a pout and teasing from his parents. But meeting you was something he would never forget.

How could he, when you remind him of that disastrous moment nearly every chance you could?

He doesn’t associate it with malice, however.

He indeed gained a friend that day, one for life, and one that would unintentionally cause him more grief with affairs of the heart than he anticipated.

That awkward phase between being a child and growing into the terrors of being a teenager are full of new discoveries. New things you learn in Sunday school, things about your body that you most certainly would not learn in Sunday school, or any school to be honest, and listening to the radio to hear about all the new things scientists have found or inventors have created. Something new, every day, whether it was in Sicheng’s life or the lives around him.

The one Sicheng remembers the most (and probably loathes the most for the nerves it brought him), was the discovery of love and relationships.

Taking an interest romantically in someone was becoming more and more frequent for him and all his friends. He sees it everywhere; from his own parents, from that older kid in his neighbourhood -Taeil – walking hand in hand with some upper-class girl, shy smiles on both their faces, saw it in all the romance movies they played in the movie theatres his mother would take him to see on Saturdays if he behaved well that week. And while at first, he had not thought much of it, preferring to continue playing football with his friends and living his youth up while he has it, he seemingly can’t ignore it much when you gush on and on about getting “a total dreamboat who will sweep you off your feet and marry you.”

And he can’t explain why he gets so annoyed when this non-existent “dreamboat” of yours is mentioned.

Hanging at the bridge’s underpass by the river where all the ‘cool’ kids go with his friends, he’s introduced to the game ‘Truth or Dare’ for the first time. He always heard about it from the older crowd, figured it sounded like a fun game he’d love to try.

But he was not expecting Yuta to point at Sicheng with a grin and dare him to kiss you on the cheek after Sicheng made the mistake of choosing to do a dare.

Sicheng had felt his stomach plunge to the gravel and dirt beneath him, felt his face go as hot as a fire, he was sure he’d have steam coming out his ears, and felt the nerves eat at him so bad he was close to puking.

But he had to do this. He couldn’t be a chicken like the boys were calling him, despite his nerves, despite the sweat practically pouring out of him, despite the strange skip of his heart as he looked at your small, pretty smile as you sat across from him in your yellow sundress with a pure white bow on your head.

And just when he began to make his way over to your form to finally kiss you, much like he had all those years ago in that dingy sandbox, you shook your head no, and caused all the embarrassed heat in his body to leave his body so fast he was surprised he didn’t faint.

You acted much like a saint in that moment; you hushed the others’ whines, explained that good friends wouldn’t pressure someone they care about to do something that clearly causes them great distress, and that this game would be much more interesting if it was kept to doing silly dares and answering weird questions.

The boys grumbled, but agreed, and quickly enough the attention was averted from Sicheng to poor, tiny Mark, who was asked to dip his new hat in the river which would effectively end in him getting an earful from his mother about ruining his Sunday best. Sicheng was left in the clear. Free to not worry about the dare or about girls and relationships for another while.

It doesn’t explain why he was left so bitterly disappointed for the rest of the day, even as he walked his bike back home just in time for his supper.

It was roughly when Sicheng was 15 that he realised he loved to dance.

And it was roughly when Sicheng was 15 that he realised he was completely and utterly in love with you.

He wonders why he never came to this conclusion earlier, on both things – it was so obvious, even his parents could see it. With every dance move they watched him perfect, they also saw the inquiring look directed towards your form, awaiting approval and showers of praise (which you always gave, without fail). He was something akin to a puppy following after its owner – and wherever you went, he definitely followed, like the lovestruck fool he was.

He tried focusing on his dancing, and it worked for some time. The guys around him would make fun of him, call it girly and dumb. And he did not understand why for some time – just because he chose to use his brain and his feet to dance to his heart’s content rather than stick on a leather jacket and have his hair slicked back while he worked in a garage and smoked all day, does not mean he should be judged for the life he chose.

He was worried his parents thought much of the same, but he should not have doubted them. His mother, with her calm aura and sweet smile, praised his abilities and encouraged him to pursue dancing more. And his father, a man stern and set in his ways, had nothing more to say other than aim for a good college when he finishes school and that he was proud of him.

And that was all Sicheng needed to decide he wanted to go to one of the top colleges in the country to make something of himself.

He tried getting involved in as many things possible regarding dance – after school lessons, competitions, anything that was available where he could hone his skills and master the art of dance.

So, when his school decided to host a musical, and he heard you were going to join as the Princess, he was overjoyed.

Unfortunately, however, he did not land the lead role of the Prince. Instead he played the understudy.

He tried to remain positive about it; he could still dance and perform when asked to, he just might not get the chance to show everyone unless the lead actor – a guy nicknamed ‘Ten’ – was unavailable to perform the role.

Still, it did nothing to squash the churning of his stomach when he heard that the Prince was to kiss the Princess at the closing of the play.

But his golden opportunity came towards the final weeks of preparing for the play, when Ten was out sick during rehearsal of the final scene, and so Sicheng was called to fill the position and help you rehearse.

The final scene.

The one with the kiss.

Those nerves from years ago came rushing back in an instant in the form of red cheeks and a swarm of butterflies in his tummy, but to say Sicheng was overjoyed to finally have this opportunity to kiss you was an understatement.

He knew all his lines and cues, having practiced the diligently every night before bed without fail, that even the teacher was impressed, and Sicheng couldn’t stop the swell of pride in his chest even if he wanted to.

You were flawless in your role, as expected, you always did everything so well, and he was in awe at your acting abilities, comparing your skills to those big actresses like Grace Kelly, Marylin Monroe, and Jayne Mansfield. So in awe, that Sicheng almost forgot about the upcoming kiss at the end of the Princess’ speech.

Almost.

He waited with baited breath as the Princess in front of him declared her love with wide eyes and a loving smile, and then it was time for him to reach up with his hands, grasp your face with his trembling fingers, and lean in.

He could feel your breath against his lips as he got closer, could feel the heat radiating off your cheeks, could see your eyes flutter shut that had his heart racing. He was so close, the tip of his nose brushed against yours-

-when the school bell suddenly rang to signify the end of the day, and jolted both himself and yourself away from each other in surprise.

Noise erupted throughout the auditorium in the form of the rustling of bags, the shuffling of feet and the farewells of everyone on set, the teacher shouting that he will see everyone at the same time on Monday.

Sicheng stood there, dumbfounded, stuck in a daze as he watched you gather your things and put away your props. He was brought back to the present once you waved a hand in front of his face, his eyes blinking rapidly as they focused on your beautiful eyes that were glimmering with faint amusement.

“Come on, you goof, or you’ll be locked up in here for the weekend and miss out on seeing that new film that you wanted to catch. What was it…’Singing in the Rain’?”

Truthfully, he had forgotten about that. He was only really thinking about how he might break that damned school bell without getting caught or how he might convince the principle it was one of those greasers if he did. He sighed, a long winded and weary thing that carried more weight than one might imagine. Sensing the dip in his mood, you put on your best smile (but he thinks they all look stellar), and linked your arm in his, your poodle skirt brushing against his pants and your opposite hand squeezing his bicep.

“Come on, let’s ice the blues away with a milkshake from the old diner, huh? You can tell me all about this film and convince me to see it.”

Of course he went with you, to the classic hangout since when you were both 12, and of course he sat across from you and admired the way the lights lit up your face, or the shape of your mouth as you told him all about the book you read recently.

The sweetness of the chocolate shake in his grip failed to make today’s predicament any bit better, and the chocolate turned to ash in his mouth as he though about how Ten would be the one to kiss those soft lips of yours that he longed after for so long.

(The play was a success, but Sicheng did little celebrating after the peck Ten placed upon your lips that had you grinning from ear to ear and giggling like a true princess in love.)

By attending one of the most prestigious colleges in the country and living his dream of dance, Sicheng did not think he would be dragged into the lifestyle of drinking, smoking and overall delinquency that was growing in popularity with the youth of today, yet here he was donning his silver mask as his disguise, being jostled around by overzealous young adults jiving to Elvis Presley’s latest hits and wanting nothing more than to return to his books in the safety of his dorm than standing in the large, bright and noisy dance hall.

He has to admit, the spins and lifts of the crazy couples on the dancefloor were intriguing, certainly different from the elegant and poised moves that Sicheng grew up perfecting, and yet the fast paced and insane dances moves were interesting all the same.

Still, did not change his opinion on preferring the warmth of his bed sheets over pretending to be drunk and having a great time and dodging every cigarette that was offered his way. He doesn’t care about seeming ‘preppy’, as people are so bent on calling his ‘kind’, he’d much rather be comfortable and not standing awkwardly in the wicked heat of this masquerade party.

And yet, as he adjusted the sleeves of his neatly pressed suit jacket and corrected his dicky bow, he reminded himself of the reason he was even here to begin with, and Yuta’s dastardly plan.

To finally kiss you after all these years, using his mask to fake his confidence and give him the courage to, at last, press his lips to yours.

A stupid plan, really, and Yuta had been near sleep deprived after the dance hall he had attended when he thought of this plan, but Sicheng saw the logic in it.

Sort of.

He watched as you twirled around in the pretty red frilly dress Yuta said you would be wearing, the gold sequins of your lavish mask glittering in the dim lights of the hall, grooving to the band playing on stage and giggling with the friends around you. The rouge of your lipstick matched your dress perfectly, he thought absentmindedly, wondering if it was as silky as his handkerchief as he imagined. He was shoved rudely out of his daydreaming by Doyoung (who was also a part of this foolish scheme by sneaking his way into a passing conversation he overheard between a blushing Sicheng and an erratic Yuta who would not lower his voice!)

“They’re going to play a slow song next,” Doyoung informed him, and when Sicheng simply stared at him blankly in return, he sighed and rolled his eyes with impatience. “A dance for couples. A slow dance.” Silence. “Christ, Sicheng, you aren’t too drunk, are you? This is your chance, nincompoop! Dance with her! Kiss her!”

Doyoung gave Sicheng a push, nearly flattening the poor boy in front of all the people, but with a thumbs up and a wide grin from the pusher himself, Sicheng composed himself and made his way over to where you stood.

He could feel his heartbeat in his throat, and his hands shook more than the floor boards beneath his feet, breathing laboured as he gathered his courage and stopped before you. The music was beginning to take a slower turn, and everyone in the room quickly found a partner, bodies moving in gentle waves and turns, heads laying on shoulders and hands holding on tightly.

You looked up at Sicheng in what he could only guess was surprise, given the obstacle that was the mask covering most emotions on everyone’s faces. He sucked in a breath, released it a moment later. This was it.

“Would you like to dance with me?” he asked, subconsciously deepening his voice in fear of you recognising him too early and rejecting his offer. You looked at him in silence, your eyes squinting and scrutinising his form, attempting to decipher if you knew him or not while Sicheng stood stock still with nerves. It was like you were looking through him, at his heart that was beating faster than a drum and picking him from the inside out. Finally, you spoke.

“Will you tell me your name?” your voice carried a tone of amusement to it, and it melted Sicheng’s body into a more relaxed stance.

“Dance with me and maybe you’ll find out,” he replied, extending his hand to you, which you took bashfully and with a twinkling giggle.

Smooth one, Sicheng. Yuta will definitely not let him live that down once he hears about it.

Leading you to the centre with as confident a grip he could give, he turned to face you, placing gentle hands on your waist, gulping when you wrapped yours around his neck, and began swaying the both of you smoothly to the blues of the music.

You stared at him with curiosity swimming in your eyes, a light upturn of your lips displaying your amusement. Sicheng smiled shyly, feeling his cheeks flare with heat at the close proximity he had rarely experienced with you before. (He’s a man, damn it, he was taught to respect boundaries.)

“So, will you tell me your name now?” you asked, voice as soft as cotton so as not to ruin the atmosphere of the hall around you.

He almost forgot to answer you, too awestruck at the beauty of the moment, of you; a soft smile playing at your rose painted lips, the lights set up around the room glittering like stars upon your skin, he almost forgot to breathe. The band played its blues gently in the background, the tones washing over the both of you so sweetly it could send Sicheng to Cloud 9 right now if he wasn’t so hell bent on staying on the ground and getting a kiss from you.

“Ruins the purpose of the masks, doesn’t it?” he settled for, hands squeezing minutely around your waist. “Much more exciting this way.”

You huffed out a breath – stubborn as always – and those rouge lips of yours pouted up at him.

“I’d like to know who I’m spending my time with, stranger.”

“You’ll find out eventually,” he chuckled, and he delighted in the bashfulness overtaking your features. “For now, I’d just like to dance with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Even above the blissfully slow love song, he could hear your intake of breath, and he waited in tense silence to find out if he had overstepped his boundaries and pushed you away completely. He could see it in your eyes, could see the war you were waging with yourself on whether to give into the excitement of dancing with a tall, dark and handsome stranger who would willingly give you compliments until his voice grew hoarse, or to back away and return to being the responsible and mature person you were who never strayed too far from the lines of safety.

The former won the battle.

“This is just like those romance novels,” you giggled, teeth nipping at your bottom lip to contain the gorgeously dopey smile you get when you’re flustered threatening to break out. God, he loved you so much.

“Really?” he asked, clearing his throat against the cracking of his voice. You laugh good naturedly, endeared at the now sudden goofiness of your knight in shining armour. Nodding, your hands fidgeted slightly behind his neck, skin brushing against his, goosebumps erupting and hairs raising. He shivered in excitement.

He hummed, his feign of nonchalance allowing him to revel in this newfound confidence and spur his actions. He stepped closer to you after a moment of consideration, chest pressed to chest, and he was terrified that the thumping of his heart was enough to alert you that this knight was not as brave as he seemed.

“What happens in these romance novels? What happens to the couples?” he whispered, breath fanning across your heated cheeks as you stared in dumbstruck awe. Your arms tightened around his neck, buzzing with an emotion you couldn’t explain, yet you were ready to dive into the unknown, he always knew you were looking for something more than you could get. And you deserved whatever it was you were after.

“They…they kiss. A kiss so good, the gal’ lifts her leg and gets so lost in the moment she forgets her name,” was your breathy reply, and Sicheng could feel his stomach tighten with a nervous giddiness he’s felt twice in his life, both with you beside him. The band were finishing up the song, if the lengthy notes and drawn out vocals were any indication, and Sicheng knew, this was his moment.

“How?” he asked, giving you an out should you have wanted to take it, but you refused, staring deeply into his eyes and ignoring everything around you, giving Sicheng an undivided attention he was unused to experiencing. You leaned ever closer to him and he mimicked your actions, inclining his head towards yours and gazing upon your lips, blood red petals he longed for, for so many years, finally within his grasp.

“Like…thi-“

“Oh, there you are.”

You flinched away from Sicheng as if you had been burnt, and simultaneously he took a step backwards in shock of such a rapid action, staring dumbly as none other than Johnny Seo waltzed right up beside you in his leather jacket, wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you tight against his body like nobody’s business. You could not form a sentence properly, only stumbling your way through a greeting as Johnny grinned down at you and ignored Sicheng like he wasn’t even there to begin with. Sicheng remained silent, stuck in a haze and shoulders slouched like the heaviest weight was just thrown on his back.

“Been looking for you everywhere, Dollface,” he laughed, pinched your side, earning a yelp for his action. “Look, I know I’m late and I didn’t show up to bring you here, but what’ya say we get outta here? This place blows,” he suggested-but-not-really-suggested, seeing as he was already tugging you out of the room towards the double doors and to the fresh air. Of course, Sicheng was left standing there, in the centre of the dancefloor while a jive started up around him and dancers gave him odd looks for staying still, but he couldn’t find it in him to move – the shock rendered him useless and the jealousy burning in his heart simmered throughout his body while his brain fought to keep him from following after Johnny and doing something stupid.

Out of the corner of his eye, he vaguely saw Doyoung and Yuta standing side-by-side, facepalming and cursing Johnny’s existence for ruining this ‘perfect plan’.

Sicheng would mimic their actions if he had the energy to.

Sicheng reckons he should just give up at this point, despite Yuta’s and Doyoung’s insistence that he keeps ‘fighting for your love’.

As if. You weren’t interested in him in anyway.

You’d asked him that Monday after the dance if he had gone and what he thought of it. He replied he had, lied that he hadn’t stayed long and asked if you enjoyed it. You said you did, but that nothing major happened. And that was that. No mention of any ‘mysterious man’.

Sicheng was left extremely disappointed after that conversation.

But, now he had Christmas to look forward to, and seeing his parents once again in a happy and festive setting and one so full of the love he’s been deprived of and-

God, he needs to stop listening to Doyoung’s rambles.

So preoccupied was he with packing his suitcase for the trip and hopping into his dad’s navy Chevrolet and pushing you completely from his mind in hopes that he’d be over you by the time he returns to college, he forgot just how close both his and your parents were with each other.

And that they decided to have a Christmas party together in your house.

Just lovely, he thinks from his position in the armchair by the window, watching the snow fall in delicate flakes to join the mountains of it on the ground while the party is well underway around him. He couldn’t care less about socialising right now, despite it being what his parents would expect him to do as a golden child.

Regardless of his neat sweater and crisp shirt, he felt unkempt and restless just being in your vicinity; his skin itched for him to stay away from you, his brain screamed to ignore you, yet his heart wept to have you close by his side like you always were.

“Sicheng, darling,” his mother called, drawing his attention away from the flurries outside as he turned to her with a questioning stare. “Can you refill my glass for me? The drink is in the kitchen,” she asked, hand extended to pass her glass to her son. Sicheng sighed quietly through his nose but did as he was told, grabbing the glass and rising from his spot, walking away from the conversations airing around the living area and towards the kitchen.

Only the be stopped by you walking out from the kitchen once he reached the doorway.

You smiled at him, stumbled awkwardly as you tried to side step him only to have him do the same, and giggled at his endearingly flushed face.

He gulped, kept his gaze on the floor, and nodded in your direction, intending for that to be the extent of the interaction so he could return to moping by the window in peace as soon as possible, until your father, ever the rambunctious man, hollered: “look, love is in the air for these kids! Look at what they’re standing under, honey!”

It was with dread that Sicheng lifted his head simultaneously as you raised yours, to find that stupid and embarrassing little weed looking plant hung high on the doorframe above both of your excruciatingly close forms, too close for Sicheng’s heart to beat at a semi normal pace.

You lowered your gaze to his, heat rushing to your cheeks and a lopsided smile plastered on your face, and yet you remained where you were, perhaps waiting for Sicheng to make a move so you could reject him kindly once again, he thinks. He bit at the skin of his lower lip, watched as your glittering eyes flickered between his own dark pair and his mouth, and that familiar nervousness came crawling back to him. You both ignored the catcalls and teasing comments of your parents, not taking your attention off each other for one second. His throat constricted, he swallowed dryly, you leaned forward just a smidge, and-

“I won’t kiss you if you don’t want me to.”

He was surprised that this strange, lowly, meek and quiet voice was his own, rejecting something that he sought after the second he realised he couldn’t see himself living with someone that wasn’t you. You looked stunned, your lips parting and your eyes wide, but you composed yourself quickly, your expression morphing into something so blank Sicheng had great difficulty deciphering what was going through your mind.

The parents all groaned and expressed their displeasure at Sicheng’s unwillingness to give you a peck on the lips (not that he didn’t want to, he desperately did, with every fibre of his being, he just valued your comfort more than his wishes). His mother, the angel that she was, was quick to dissuade the negativity in the room. “He’s a gentleman,” she complimented, “he knows better than to just kiss a girl because of some silly plant.”

The parents laughed, returned to their conversations, and Sicheng was virtually alone with you, that same hollow look upon your face staring at him while the pair of you stood in relative silence. His hand flexed around his mother’s glass, knuckles turning white from the grip, and trained his sight on his brown shoes, the toes skimming the tops of your saddle shoes.

“If you’re such a gentleman” you began, voice quiet and laced with a hesitancy Sicheng was not familiar with hearing. “You shouldn’t leave a girl hanging like that and ask her on a date if you aren’t gonna kiss her now.”

His heart nearly leapt out of his throat, and he was sure his eyes were nearly as wide as dinner plates right about now. Blood rushed to his cheeks like a tsunami, and was sure if he opened his mouth, nothing but a distressed wailing sound would leave his body. You looked as nervous as he felt, afraid that you had put your foot in your mouth and ruined your beloved friendship with the only person you ever cared about in your life.

“How about you take me to the pictures this Saturday? Pick me up at 7?” you offered, taking control of the situation and Sicheng had never been more grateful for your ability to take charge of a situation, because he was damn sure he just lost all ability to speak in this moment, too busy dancing away in his head and committing this moment to memory for it to be played over and over and over again at night when he will lie awake with butterflies in his stomach and a grin on his face.

So, he nodded, smiled like an idiot, nearly cried with happiness when you laughed shyly and ran back into the living area, and sauntered into the kitchen to finally refill his mothers drink.

It was funny, really. How after all this time, after the pain of being so close yet so far, that the fact he now has a date with you was actually so easy to achieve because of a stupid holiday tradition.

He took a sip from his mother’s drink, the burning liquid trickling down his throat and added to the dizziness he felt after his encounter with you.

What an idiot he was.

Truth be told, Sicheng wasn’t paying any attention to the film rolling in front of his eyes, much too busy overthinking the way you leaned closer to him and brushed your shoulder against his when you reached for the popcorn.

He couldn’t even remember the name of the movie to begin with. Whatever you had suggested, he had said yes immediately to in hopes of making you happy (which, he did).

You really had him wrapped around your finger, didn’t you?

(He doesn’t care, he thinks happily, as you meet his gaze and smile at him. He doesn’t care at all.)

His mind was racing about what he should do once the movie was finished – walk you home? Take you to your favourite diner? Go for a walk in that park? He honestly couldn’t choose, didn’t know what to choose exactly, and in the blink of an inattentive eye for Sicheng, everyone started filing out of the doors of the cinema, a lively buzz in the atmosphere of people their thoughts on the movie and where to go from here.

Sicheng wants to ask them to be privy to that bit of info himself. Where does he go from here?

“Sicheng?” he heard, and turned his head towards the voice. You looked at him with a stunning smile, the bright lights of the theatre’s signs not glowing nearly as bright as you were to him in this moment, with yourself all dolled up for little old him, and he did not feel one bit worthy to stand here with you.

“Yes?” he answered quietly, his trembling fingers pulling at the sides of his trousers, flitting in and outs of his pockets, a nervous tick, and one you caught onto immediately. Your hand slotted perfectly into his when you grasped it, and he prays to anyone that’ll listen that you won’t get repulsed by the sweatiness of his palms or the shakiness of his fingers.

“I had a really fun time tonight,” you confessed, offering a gentle squeeze of reassurance. His heart skipped a beat (a regular occurrence with you, it seems), and he was positive his cheeks were pinker than a strawberry macaron. “I…I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner,” you mused with a light laugh. Sicheng nearly choked on his spit.

“Wait, what? You would have done this sooner?” he grimaced at the incredulous crack of his voice, and appreciated your attempts at stifling your laughter.

“Well I’ve…I’ve liked you since I was 15, but I was just too chicken to say anything, didn’t wanna ruin our friendship,” you admitted, scratching at your cheek and avoiding his stare as you focused your attention on the ground. Once this newfound information processed in his mind, Sicheng laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

You stared in bewilderment as Sicheng seemingly lost his mind, bending over in a full blown cackle, face red and short of breath, and attracting the stares of many passer-by’s. You bent over to become level with his face.

“Sicheng, are you ok? Everyone’s staring at us, wacko,” you giggled at his form, still very confused at what was so funny.

Catching his breath, Sicheng stood upright and sighed airily, a dopey grin plastered on his visage.

“I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, this is so bogus,” he laughed. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for as long too,” Sicheng added, still a bit out of it from his laughing fit, wiping tears of mirth from the corners of his eyes. You bit at your lip, a furrow in your brow telling him you were thinking hard about something.

“So do it, hot stuff.”

“Do what?” Sicheng asked dumbly, and you rolled your eyes playfully. Really, he laughed all sense out of him. So, you took charge.

Slipping your hand out of his, you lifted both to gently take hold of his dumbstruck face, leaned in, and placed your lips upon his.

Finally.

Sicheng almost couldn’t breathe but refused to move away, leaning his forehead against yours, hands fumbling to take hold of your waist and hold you close against his chest. It was the kind of kiss like he had always seen in the movies – passionate, full of love, and made all sorts of things happen with his heart and body. Fireworks, butterflies, chills, tingles, none were an accurate description to how unbelievably happy he felt in this moment, how comforting the motion of your thumbs stroking his face felt, how perfectly soft your lips felt against his, everything was just so, so…

Long overdue, if he was being brutally honest.

Air eventually became a necessity, and so it was with great regret (that the moment couldn’t last forever) you pulled apart, gasping for air and refusing to look anywhere other than at each other. Sicheng smiled sweetly, reaching up to stroke at the apple of your cheek.

“Did anyone ever tell you it’s rude not to ask someone to kiss them before you do?” he teased, recalling a misfortunate memory of a shabby sandbox and the beginning of a long history.

You grinned, pinched playfully at his cheek. “Maybe. But I’ll apologise later. Now give me another kiss, we have years to make up for.”

Sicheng, for all his poise and grace, would gladly run like a madman to obey that request.