#its was like a little explosion
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I just squirted so hard I got it on my face. I didn't know that was possible.
#its was like a little explosion#my tummy and thighs are soaking wet#im legitimately shocked#minors dni#nsft#femboy#tboy#mlm#pansexual#t4t#tsundere#bd/sm brat#my posts#woah it smells sweet too!#seriously wtf just happened
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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DPxDC A Boy and His Pit Demon
Danny
The world was green, green, green. Green beans, bean soup, Soup Time. Soupy, soupy Soup Time.
Would Soup Time hurt now?
Most things hurt now, because he was broken, broken, broken, but not the green. Green, green, green.
Green isle, green sky, green eye, green soup.
He paused.
Green, green soup. He liked green, and he liked soup, but maybe he didn’t like green soup.
“No eggs, just soup. I am not Sam, I am not.” He giggled quietly at the thought of amethyst eyes encircled with black and purple paint and approached the lake of green.
It smelled like Soup had been left out in the sun to rot.
“Hot rot, hot rot.”
He laid a clawed hand over his icy chest. Food was mean. Sometimes, food fought back.
Food fights, fighting food, union fight, fighting Soup? Hot-rot green soup.
He was so hungry, but hot was bad.
Ice core, hot sore, hot-rot soup.
He was already so broken, broken, broken, and green was good.
The hot-rot soup was hot, and he was ice, but it wasn’t fighting back, and it might be nice.
What did he have to lose? Lost friends, lost home, lost mind, lost all, found Soup.
He liked green.
He hummed happily before diving headfirst into a pit of rancid, fetid ectoplasm leaving the Infinite Realms behind.
Damian
Damian was nine years old, but that wouldn’t stop him from being the best the League had ever seen.
He was almost there already, of course.
He’d even won a fight against his mother once.
Of course, Damian had set many traps on the battlefield in advance, but it was only proper to use every tool that one had on hand.
Damian moved smoothly through his training stances, clearing his mind of all thoughts except executing his actions flawlessly.
He had perfected them years ago, of course. He was not a baby, and he’d been practicing with the blade since he was four. It was important to keep all of your weapons, sharp, however, and ones own skills are the most valuable weapons.
He often practiced near his grandfather’s pools.
It was a place where few had permission to go unless accompanying his grandfather, after all, and the soft green glow was pleasant to be near.
It could be dangerous, of course, but Damian was not so foolish as to risk falling in while healthy.
A sound caught Damian’s attention, breaking him out of his fluid routine.
His head whipped towards the Lazarus Waters which had begin to froth and bubble violently.
Damian had never seen such a reaction before, but he’d heard from others what it meant.
Rarely, perhaps once every five decades or so, a demon would rise from the pits.
There was nothing even the best trained assassin could do against them.
They were strong, fast, unkillable, and the only thing you could do if one set its sights on you was pray for a quick death.
Damian straightened his spine and squared his shoulders, readying his blade. If he were to die, he would do so with his pride and strength in place.
He only had to wait a few moments before a nightmarish head rose from the boiling pool.
It was blacker than night, seeming to suck the luminescence from the waters around it. Its eyes were slitted, with sclera the same toxic green as the pool’s waters. Its mouth was a nightmare of serrated fangs bared in the parody of a smile.
Damian raised his chin defiantly to death. “You do not belong here. These are my grandfather’s pools.”
The demon’s head tilted far past what any human would be capable of, and it let out a low, static-filled hiss. “Hungry, hungry. Play, play?”
Damian gritted his teeth. He had never heard of a pit demon ever speaking before, and the thought of it wanting to play with its food before it ate him brought him nothing but anger.
If he were to die, he was going to do so with dignity.
Damian sniffed. “No. One does not play with their food.”
The creature let out another awful sound like lightning or a windstorm before its gruesome maw stretched even wider. “Fight food.”
Damian took a deep breath before he let it our slowly and pointed his sword at the creature. “Then let us fight.”
The creature rose slowly from the water, revealing a small, thin body, but Damian knew that size mattered little when it came to the power of a pit demon.
It was almost human in the same way that his mother could be called almost nice.
It had a head, a body, two arms, and two legs.
However, its limbs were too long. Each of its hands had five skeletal fingers each ending in a razor-sharp blade. Its thin legs had an extra joint, and its stance hurt Damian’s spine just to look at as it floated above the pool dripping toxic water that could kill or poison the living.
“Fight,” it growled in a voice filled with the cackle of a broken League communicator.
It did not try and dodge or evade as it spend towards him, claws outstretched, and Damian thought he might get at least one good hit in before he died.
Damian’s blow struck true, right at the demon’s center of mass, but it didn’t slow its momentum in the slightest, and Damian barely had time to get out of its reach before its claws could impale him.
He spun quickly, keeping the creature in his sights as it turned on the ground, back arching like a cat about to pounce.
There was no wound where Damian’s blade had struck, only smooth black skin, darker than night.
Damian growled.
It was still playing with him. Still making a fool of Damian, even in his last moments of life.
Damian shrieked, darting forward and aiming a blade at the pit demon’s heels.
If he could injure it somewhere delicate, maybe it would retreat back into the waters.
The monster laughed, unnaturally twisting its legs out of reach and back into the air without a thought for the limitations of gravity or basic anatomy.
Damian pivoted, slicing upwards at the beast’s exposed face, but the being only caught the sword in its bare hand.
Damian had a solid grip on his sword.
One of the first things he’d learned, mastered before the age of five, was how to keep a firm grip on his weapon while maintaining enough flexibility for rapid movement.
The moment the creature wrapped his hand around the weapon, however, it was as if his favorite blade was as insubstantial as a cloud, and it went through Damian’s hand in an instant.
The demon laughed its monstrous laugh again, tossing the beautifully forged custom blade behind itself as if it were a common stick.
Damian knew he would die from the second he’d seen the pit demon emerge, but it was worse to know how insignificant of a threat he posed.
With a flick of his wrist, he unsheathed and threw a poisoned dagger at the creature. It whizzed between its eyes, and the creature turned its sharp smile to watch the blade sail away.
It wasn’t fair!
The creature dropped to the ground in front of Damian, assuming the deplorable fighting stance of a seasoned street brawler, and Damian brought his own fists up at the ready.
If this monster was going to toy with him like a cat with a mouse, if it liked to play with its food, Damian would be sure to win at least one game.
The pit demon was even smaller on the ground, barely reaching Damian’s own chest, and Damian grinned savagely.
He never got the chance to fight someone smaller than himself.
In a quick movement, Damian darted forward, aiming a blow at the demon’s shoulder.
Damian wasn’t sure what surprised him more, the fact that his attack had landed, or the fact that the creature hadn’t moved a single centimeter from the force.
Damian ignored the stinging in his fist and decided to count it as a win. He’d never heard of anyone ever landing even a glancing blow against a pit demon, not even when a dozen of Grandfather’s best had been fighting one together.
The demon threw a half-trained punch at Damian, and he stepped to the side to grab its wrist, hoping he could use the momentum against it and throw it to the ground, but his hand passed through the creatures arm as if it wasn’t there at all.
With the distraction, Damian almost didn’t notice its other hand whipping out, and Damian could do nothing as the monster hit his diaphragm with enough force to knock the air from his lungs and send him tumbling backward to the ground.
He heaved in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for the killing blow to land.
He had fought well and landed a hit against the untouchable.
A soft weight settled against his chest, and Damian’s eyes flew open.
The pit demon had settled on top of his chest. “Brave, brave, boy. Fights well, so young. Good fight.”
Damian shuttered at the being's sharp fangs so close to him, but tried to take pride in knowing that even a true pit demon thought him a worthy fighter.
His mother and grandfather might never know, but Damian knew that he had done his position as Heir to the Demon proud.
The creature moved its face toward Damian’s exposed throat, and he prayed for a swift death.
The creature nuzzled the underside of his chin before growing limp and beginning to hum softly.
Damian froze in confusion.
The pit demon’s mass shifted, black body becoming almost like a liquid as it pooled around his neck and over his chest. “Good boy, good fight, like boy.”
Damian knew he shouldn’t provoke the pit demon. He knew that. However, he had already played the monster’s game and wouldn’t sit passively until it decided it was ready.
That was one indignity too far.
“Are you not going to eat me now?”
“Eat!” The pit demon screeched, purring hum coming to a sudden stop. “Fight food, fight boy, eat food, like boy. Boy fight, I fight, like boy, eat soup.”
Damian swallowed. The pit demon spoke English, and Damian was fluent in the language. He was not as sure that the pit demon was fluent, however, with how little sense it was making.
“In return for sparing my life, you would like soup?” Damian tried, furrowing his eyebrows.
A hand reemerged from the black mass that was the pit demon, and a clawed finger pointed at the Lazarus Waters. “Ate Soup, green Soup. Sam I am not.”
Damian didn’t know how not being named Samuel was related to drinking Lazarus Waters, but that was irrelevant to the small, absurd hope rising in his chest. “You are satiated after consuming my grandfather’s… soup, and you have no plans on eating me?”
The demon wheezed out another crackling laugh and patted his cheek. “Funny boy, funny soup, like boy, keep boy.”
Its sharp hand melted back into its body, and it resumed purring.
Damian’s mind raced at the implications.
He had fought a pit demon, he had landed a blow and impressed the creature, and it seemed that it planned on staying.
Damian had– He had been the first to impress a demon with his fighting prowess, and he seemed to have won its loyalty.
He had always known he was destined for greatness, of course, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined this as a possibility.
Damian laid a hand carefully on top of the purring monster on his chest. “If you are not Samuel, then what may I call you?”
The demon rumbled and hummed, pressing itself into Damian’s hand. “I am P4NT0M, I am Dan, I am not Dan. I am Phantom. I am Danny.”
Damian wrinkled his nose. Most of those names were unacceptable, but he supposed that he could make due. “Phantom, then. Welcome to Nanda Parbat. I am Damian al Ghul, grandson of Ra's al Ghul.”
The creature purred more loudly, and Damian ran a hand along the monster’s cold brow.
Damian grinned and sat up, cradling the black purring mass against his chest.
He was Damian al Ghul, first of the League of Assassins to ever earn the respect of a Pit Demon.
He would also be the first to tame a pit demon.
#dp x dc#danny phantom#damian al ghul#pit demon danny#inspired by fanart#but i cant find it now T_T#Another of those Danny crawls out of the pits stories#I'm thinking Danny knew not to go to Vlad after the Nasty Burger explosion but got caught by the GIW#but like#the moral of this story is that its okay to be broken#some things you cant fix and dont need to be fixed#no mental stability for danny#damian starts adopting early#Little baby man?#ha!#no.#More like little vicious lunatic
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how we feelin about tincrow
I hate gay people
#I have thoughts about both their book versions and their wicked versions#I think book tincrow is pretty self explanatory. just look at them#for wicked tincrow I have a lot more thoughts on#I kinda like that fact that misery is inherent to every romance boq has experienced#His crush on Glinda and Nessa's crush on him both caused him to literally lose everything. his life. his body. his hope at a future.#also I think making Boq straight is really really funny.#Despite everything... he still likes girls...#but like after all that hes not willing to pursue anyone anymore#which is why I think it is so funny to put him and the only person he hates nearly as much as elphaba in a room together#in the sense that they are both now immortals who've had the exact same extremely traumatic experience of losing their bodies#Boq is explosively miserable but Fiyero is the only one who understands what its like and what hes going through#Even if Boq would still assert that hes going through worse and mad about everything that happened with Glinda#he does have to simmer down eventually. even he can only be mad for so long#enemies to worlds worst qpr. do you understand what im saying#Sorry I like sprinkling a little aromanticism on everything I touch
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boom!💥🔥🕯️
#my art#digital art#oc: paraffin#ocs#original characters#oc art#original character art#i think its funny that what little i have of paraffin's lore/backstory includes “they like explosions”#meanwhile my ass fending off the allegations
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BREATHE IN LIKE WAVES
ON A GLASS BEACH
🌊🌺🌿✨🩵
(speedpaint + little art ramble under the cut!)
NOVEMBER 21ST… very special day for me!!! three years ago today i got into billie bust up, and two years ago today i started listening to glass beach and MAN. THEY IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED ME. my love for billie bust up + glass beach are very intertwined in my heart, they both mean A Lot to me so this piece is incredibly personal… it was pretty experimental and very much inspired by the aesthetics of the first glass beach album’s cover art, and OUH. I HAD SOO MUCH FUN. i put a lot of love and passion into this piece and i really hope that shows !!! 🥹🩵
ANYWAYS!!! WISHLIST BBU ON STEAM, STREAM THE FIRST GLASS BEACH ALBUM, GET READY FOR PLASTIC DEATH JAN 19!!! YIPPEE 💥💥💥
[🎵 glass beach - glass beach]
#robin’s art#billie bust up#glass beach#glass beach band#bbu billie#not tagging all the little guys that show up sorry 🥹 too many of them !!!#unless i feel like organizing that deeply later. but i think its fine for now#ugh i love bbu and glass beach so much. despite it all i stay whimsical#fav game and fav band that i am incredibly abnormal about! HEARTS HEARTS EXPLOSION#2023 art#speedpaints
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#THEY FASCINATE ME#Stampede has a lot more “invisible” scars than Trimax's and I personally think that he may get MORE scars by the end of Stampede#I think its also safe to assume that Vash wasn't just patched up by doctors on the planet I think this is Luida and Brad judging by the tec#also I love going through each and trying to figure out what injury each was#like Trimax vash has been cut a lot but that large one on his torso was probably an explosion#Stampede i think his large scars are explosion related as well#and then the screws on Trimax and those little bits of metal on Stampede are connected to internal stuff#like my dad has screws in his shoulder (you cant see them externally) that hold his tendon there since it tore#so I think those are related to stuff like that#especially the ones on Vash's spine#i should've just typed this in the post huh#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#trigun maximum#trimax#trigun anime#trigun manga#trigun vash#tristamp vash#trimax vash#vash#vash the stampede#vash the humanoid typhoon
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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Some genderbend sketch before bed <3
(bonus below cut. I got carried away w/ usopp lmao)
OH FUCK I FORGOT NAMI'S TATTOO LMAOOOO IGNORE THAT SORRY..
#my art#genderbend#i didnt do luffy but in my defense i think he/she would look the exact same#inspired by that ''outfits fem usopp would wear'' post u know the one#the last 1 is supposed to be like. og nami meets femusopp cause universe shenanigans. n they're both trans its important 2me that u kno tha#but if u want it to be og nami and og transfem usopp then. im not a cop lol#(i hc og usopp as transmasc so his genderbend-verse self is transfem. ye)#her name is Usagi. to me <3#''to me'' i stole that name hc from someone on insta lol#fem sanji is like the rich working woman in a hallmark christmas movie. see the vision??#zoro looks The Same but w an undercut and her earrings are on the other ear#i knowww i didnt do franky or brook or chopper but i WILL#oh i also stole the idea for femsopp's little front braids from someone else!! not my idea but they r 2cute#you can claw my piercing hcs out of my cold dead hands#dont mention the lack of tattoo or ill car hammer explosion you#i didnt do usopp's nose cause i just dont draw it half the time. what r u gonna do arrest me /j
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that’s really the core of lucifer, i suppose. he knows that something horribly, desperately, unspeakably wrong was done to him. and god did that. so. there’s nothing that can be done but to accept it as it is.
#there’s something about how lucifer is barely. angry. in s5. right?#or like. not outwardly. not explosively. she’s bitter and resentful and mean. but she’s not. she’s not really Angry.#doesn’t yell. only lashes out when provoked (<- thinking of hammer of the gods gabriel scene.) she’s just. doing what she knows she has to.#but at the same time when she talks to sam she tells him to stay angry. tells him she’ll need that anger.#tells nick that god wronged him. tells sam to get angry. and she’s. i don’t know how to put it exactly.#it just stands out to me is all. that lucifer is primarily just sad. that the times that breaks aren’t for her to get furious but for her to#be a little silly. a little joyful. a little indulgent. you know its the flip between genuine sadness over the grave in carthage to smiling#when he tells sam ‘don’t go anywhere! not that you could if you wanted to!’ its the offering of demons for sam to kill and the star wars#reference.#lucifer knows she never really got out of the cage in s5. is what i think im saying.#but at least it got a little bigger for her before she gets put down.#lucifer spn
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long time no hidadei ... hidan has made out with both of deidara's hand mouths before and said it was the worst thing he had ever experienced (<-secretly into it). deidara has made out with hidan's decapitated head once and said it wasn't as weird as he thought it'd be and then proceeded to sculpt him a body for the fun of it before blowing it up idk
#🍰.txt#my post#hidadei#hidan#deidara#naruto#hcs#i think theyre physically incapable of being normal#bickering is so obviously their love language#they hate each other. they love each other. they think its gross to use the word love towards each other#deidara will hang around as hidan performs his rituals (bonus points if he sits on top of him. even better)#hidan asks deidara to build his fav explosives so they can let them scatter in the air and blow shit up#very little intimate moments count for them. being cuddly is not in either of their nature but.. they like it too
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down 2it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast
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Happy Snowhunt Day! I'm on to you
#xavier love and deepspace#lads xavier#xavier x mc#lads seiya#shen xinghui#its the way he just starts info-dumping. you know like a LIAR#I realized the other day that while I'M privy to a lot of their history together my mc Heaven knows NONE OF WHAT I LEARN#I'm the omniscient god watching my characters fumble and bump through love like a starless night i gotta stOP MAKING SPACE SIMILIES#Heaven only knows Xavier as her quirky neighbor meanwhile she's still freshly suffering the random explosion of her best friend and grandma#AND her heart condition#I've been thinking of scenarios between Heaven & Xavier like how would should react to being lied too#not even about the little stuff but the doozy of her healing reincarnation evol wanting to be drained by his planet & subsequently his dad#its so much its so interesting#i need to get more of my fluffy ideas out first before I play with hurt/comfort#happy snowhunt day! what a random winter event lol do some kind of hunter redesigned Thanksgiving u know Xavier would love that
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— usagis jealousy during bmc, and if it really is just that? a meta
(read more bc i anticipate this getting very long)
before we talk about bmc lets set the stage a bit: usagi has just defeated the dark kingdom no more than a week ago (its unclear how much time passes btwn the two arcs but i can’t imagine its longer than a week, or even a couple days, as we see usamamo exchange their keepsakes at the end of act 14, something they promised they’d do the next time they saw each other during act 8, which means that this must be the first time theyve seen each other since defeating the dark kingdom, which again, i cant imagine took longer than a couple days) which means she has just experienced: watching her boyfriend die in front of her, being overloaded with a host of tragic memories from her past life (one of them including watching her boyfriend die and killing herself), her boyfriend getting brainwashed, having to kill her boyfriend because there was no getting through to him, killing herself due to the aforementioned trauma, and finally finding out her friends died— sacrificing themselves for her to bring her back. so thats all Crazy we can agree that is crazy for a 14 year old girl to go through? right? okay? good.
now that we’ve agreed on that can you imagine a little girl falling out of a large portal in the sky then threatening you with a GUN (fake sure but she didnt know that originally) and demanding you hand over the overpowered magical artifact you JUST endured all that trauma trying to protect? and then that same girl brainwashes your family? obviously usagi isnt going to trust chibiusa right away. i mean look at what she’s working with, and then when she tries to bring up these concerns no one believes her. i mean sure WE as the audience know chibiusa isnt a threat, and the others think she isnt because they cant see a little girl as particularly threatening but when you look at things from usagis perspective, then OBVIOUSLY she’d be suspicious— i mean she repeatedly refuses to answer any sort of questions (obviously this is not chibiusas fault, shes a scared child and the questioning terrifies her further, but again, think about this from usagis perspective). and again id like to reiterate that all of this is directly after the dark kingdom, usagi hasn’t had any time to heal from those fresh fresh emotional scars Of Course she’s a bit irrational.
now, to the topic at hand, was usagis jealousy really just that? regular jealousy at seeing mamoru spending time with someone who isnt her (even if the person in question was a small child that logically posed no threat to her relationship)?
obviously i dont think so, but let me prove to you its not just simple irrational jealousy but also usagis ptsd and specifically her abandonment issues that are what cause her to react in the way she does.
again, id like to remind the jury of the shit usagi has just gone through and how that all has caused usagi to develop some very serious abandonment issues. we see usagis worst fear(s) represented in nightmare sequences a handful of times throughout the series. exactly twice actually, once in infinity and once in dream and each have the shared theme of her loved ones leaving her in some way. in infinity they turn against her and berate her before ultimately dying, and in dream they’re simply dead. again both times it is very clear that the root of what she fears is abandonment.
these abandonment issues however, first begin to present themselves in arc 2. we even get a nightmare sequence in arc 2 similar to those of arcs 3&4. most interpret this as usagi just being jealous usagi. however really look at it, its not that she’s just afraid of mamoru being taken away by chibiusa, she’s afraid of them both abandoning her. look at what she says “wait! where are you going? dont leave me behind!” (or “wait! where are you going? dont leave me here!” in the eternal edition, i prefer the crystal translation simply because it makes it more explicit her issue is them leaving her alone) if it truly truly was an issue of jealousy why would she be afraid of them both leaving her behind? why say something like that? wouldnt it make more sense to say something like…. i dunno “chibiusa? dont take him from me!” instead?
once again, everything she goes through in arc 1 is a big contributor in this, however recall arc 2 begins with the senshi being picked off one-by-one (all except minako), and usagi can do nothing but watch and it eats her up inside. she quite literally begins to lose everyone dear to her all over again even while the last time is still so fresh in her mind.
and during most of this what does chibiusa do? she stays secretive, doesnt give usagi any information even when usagi tells her she cant trust her if she doesnt. (again i wanna reiterate that this is no fault of chibiusas however its not usagis fault either) so of course usagi begins to register chibiusa as a threat, and again with the information she has + her inarguable connection to the black moon clan this isnt a logical leap in the slightest.
thus when mamoru begins to spend more time with chibiusa instead of her it causes two things to happen. a) usagi is left without the emotional support she desperately needs in all of this (through no fault of mamoru, he completely misreads what usagi needs in this particular situation, he thinks that by helping with chibiusa it’ll ease her stress to have one less thing off her plate, however of course we know this does the opposite) and b) she begins to register chibiusa as a genuine threat to mamorus safety. usagis terrified of losing him all over again when she just got him back. look at this scene, i mean really truly look at it. look at what usagis saying, this doesnt sound like the ramblings of a jealous girlfriend it sounds like someone who’s terrified of losing their most important person all over again. “stay here with me. never go away. ill do everything i can to protect you…” (or “…i wanna be with you. dont go away. ill protect you with everything i have” in crystal, here i prefer the eternal edition again bc i think it more explicitly defines usagis problem) these lines just don’t make sense under the simple jealousy interpretation, what does protecting him have anything to do with envy at the time hes spending with chibiusa and not with her? nothing. shes not upset at that, she puts emphasis on protecting him because thats the true root of the problem, shes afraid of losing him again to yet another supernatural threat after the crystal.
and to close out id like to show everyone the viz dub version of this scene because i think it sums up my points incredibly well, as well as making it abundantly clear what the root of usagis problems Really are, specifically through the inclusion of the line “i wont lose you again”
#sailor moon#bishoujo senshi sailor moon#bssm#pgsm#pretty guardian sailor moon#sailor moon crystal#usagi tsukino#sere.txt#sere stfu#i will defend usagi tsukino till the day i keel over and DIE#like listen do i think jealousy was part of it#eh maybe a little#but i think that jealousy was mostly due to the aforementioned IssuesTM#because we see usagi actually jealous in arc 3#and shes nowhere near as explosive and irrational#she keeps it to herself mostly#granted this is also later in their relationship and a whole year later#but still its such a stark contrast#and when usagi admits to being jealous#thats all she says that she was jealous#none of this: please dont leave me ill protect you#type of stuff#anyway ill shut up now#i probably shouldve added this to the meta LOL
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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Favorite Ship / Supernova
(disclaimer: i hc eris morn with they/them pronouns)
Lately, things have been calm and she got her paperwork for the day done sooner than usual, so with the free time Ikora decided it would be nice to have a spontaneous date. She sends a message to Eris, hoping they aren’t busy at the moment. At least, far as she knew there shouldn’t be anything taking up their time. After a few moments Ikora smiles when her screen lights up with a response.
-
It’s a cool, clear night where you’d swear you could see every star in the galaxy that wasn’t eclipsed by the moonlight. A sight like this wasn’t possible in the last city, and seldom did Ikora get the chance to venture out of it. Duty was a chain and it kept her not too far from the city, but in the rare chances she had the opportunity she wanted to take advantage.
Setting down a blanket on the side of a hill, Ikora places two comfortable, large pillows she had against the incline. Eris patiently stood by, their form illuminated by the light of the moon as they looked up to the sky. She wondered how much hive eyes could pick up on the distant pin-pricks of light, having been told they weren't the same as human ones. If you compared it to human vision, technically you could say they were blind.
Nonetheless, they mentioned their way of “seeing” just works differently now. They still had a sense of their surroundings, even knew the distance between themselves and the moon. An odd thing to be precognitive of but they chalked it up to it being the birthplace of their transformation, when Eris became kin to the very enemy they sought the end of.
How things have changed. Outside of that Eris had a sensitivity to paracausality which gave her a refined sense of other guardians as well as the shape of their light, despite being without. Strange changes, but not without some benefits. Ikora reaches over to gently bump her hand against theirs to catch Eris’ attention without startling them. As if much could startle them anymore.
“Finished?” Eris asks as they turn to look at Ikora who nods, the pair’s hands linking together as they settle onto the cozy patch. They lean back, side by side with hands still intertwined and multiple points of contact between their bodies. Silence hung in the air for a short time as they enjoyed the view, until Ikora broke it with a question. One she had long wondered about since Eris’ ascent from the Hellmouth.
“Do you miss it?” She softly questions, gently squeezes Eris’ hand with her thumb rubbing against the length of theirs. “Miss what?” They reply after a short second. “The light. What you were, before-” Ikora stops herself choosing not to say the rest.
A contemplative pause, “It doesn’t matter now, does it? It happened. All I can do is move forward in spite of it.” That solemn answer cuts straight through Ikora’s question with a knife’s edge. She turns her head toward Eris who continues, “Nothing good comes from dwelling on what’s missing.” and then a little quieter. “Do you wish I was unchanged?”
Ikora frowns and quickly sits up, turning her whole body towards them. “I only wish for you to return from the things you hunt every time, safe and sound.” Eris gazes at her as she leans over to rest a hand against their cheek. “It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re still here.” She gives Eris an affectionate smile.
Eris’ own lips quirk up as they sit up as well, faces hovering inches apart before they make the first move to kiss Ikora. It lasts mere seconds as they slowly break apart but still close enough to feel each other’s breath. “In my darkest, loneliest moments, I miss the presence of your light over mine.”
To think, after everything that’s happened including losing the light, Eris would rather have Ikora leaves her feeling a certain way. She feels the void open its empty maw in her chest, wanting to devour her heart over the proclamation. “Do you?” Ikora breathes out, letting the void energy trickle through her fingertips against Eris’ cheek.
Eris’ shivers a little from the sensation as they turn their face more into her hand, the ever present dark tears dissipate against Ikora’s radiant light. “I do.” Almost reluctantly, they retreat from the physical contact to look Ikora full on when they ask, “Show me your light.”
It comes out not as a question but like a lover’s request for their partner to share their body. And traveler save her, she finds herself bending easily to it. Usually Ikora wasn’t for unnecessary displays of her light, but she couldn’t resist Eris. So she adjusts into a kneeled position and brings her hands to hover in front of her mid-air.
Fluorescent violet light begins to form in a small, concentrated ball between her hands, steadily growing in size and luminescence. Ikora envisions in her mind pouring the void into a container, particles being shifted in an even circular motion that continues to slowly get bigger.
It’s the size of a kick ball when she decides to stand up, purple light shining its hue across the two of them. Eris watches the nova bomb increase further and further until Ikora has to lift it over her head and release it up toward the sky, flying up and up to a seemingly impossible height until it explodes like a collapsing star.
Like a firework streaks of void shoot outward from the center and leave glittering trails of void as the bolts try and fail to find a target, thus bursting into smaller showers of purple that sparkle amongst the starry sky. An imprint of the void lingers like the burn of an afterimage from a too bright light.
“Beautiful.” Eris says in appreciation. Ikora sits back down with them as they reach out to grab her hand and trace it, making her shiver in return. She pulls their hand up to her mouth and kisses the knuckles of it, huffing a short laugh. “I’m glad you can still find beauty in the light.”
#ikoraweek2024#ikora rey#destiny 2#prompt is favorite ship? oh baby you know what time it is with me#listen i know that just watching someone lob a nova bomb doesn't sound exciting#its less about the what and more about the who. watching someone else perform a mundane task vs watching someone you love#finding beauty and awe for the little things because its not just about liking what they're best at but anything they do#also its because half the time i'm in raids or some other activity and i have a charged nova but we have to stop or wipe#i love to just lob that thing up and watch it explode. everyone else: arguing over best super due to utility/damage#me: nova bomb cataclysm because it big pretty purple explosion#anyway. i like to hc eris is technically blind by human standards but hive and paracausal sense ability wise#she's more aware than someone with 20/20 vision. and i like the idea that guardians can be discerned by their#own individual light or even darkness capabilities. does it make sense? maybe not.#did this fic feel ooc as i wrote it and is it? maybe but idc. i want love and appreciation of your partner#just for their simplest most mundane things. not just for the exemplary things they do#and these 2 deserve to have more moments not being entirely closed off/focused on what's happening. a moment of vulnerability#void.txt#void.write
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