#its tuesday but w/e its still monday somewhere right

[yi-dashi-a]

//You know something I haven’t done in a while? Munday. Shaved my head again like a week ago. I freakin hate head hair swear

[ultravioletparacosm]

fictober ‘19 day 1: “it’ll be fun, trust me”

hi!! to try and get myself into a better pattern of writing before nanowrimo, i’m gonna be doing fictober this month! just a short fic that’s like...just a quick exploration of an idea i had, 1 day maybe i’ll expand upon it but w/e

1,144 words, halloween horror nights, tw for murder and also ghosts (boo)

“It’ll be fun, trust me.”

There had been rumours. Rumours of lights turning themselves on and off with nobody looking, thudding behind the screens, whispers about the scent of burnt skin and hair. I’d only been working there for, say, a couple days before my co-worker told me something strange behind the snack bar, only willing to do so when our boss wasn’t looking.

So that’s what lead me here. Standing outside of the theatre in the rain, just about midnight as the clock teetered on the edge of a Monday, Labour Day, so we had today and the next day off. Quinn, a friend of sorts and my most troublesome co-worker, beckoned me over to the front. It was a wonder why our manager gave her the spare keys of all people, watching as she fumbled with the clunky keyring and had to try out a few before getting the right one in, stuffing it into a random pocket of her fat, tattered purse.

“Be my guest, in ya go.” She held open the door with a little grin on her lips, bearing some coffee-stained teeth as she grabbed my shoulder, ushering me inside. The theatre was nothing I’d not seen before, of course; the tallest ceiling you could expect, carpets they’d not changed since the 20s it seemed like, and the stink of stale buttered popcorn. “I hang out here all the time after-hours. Feel free to help yourself to the candy ‘cause I know for a fact they either don’t know or don’t care if I take ‘em.” And she’d already started sifting through the supply of chocolates and boxes of taffy and hard candy.

I crossed my arms, rubbing my shoulders as I stared up into the dark cathedral above, unilluminated and ominous. “I don’t know, do you think there’s any kind of risk to this?”

“Eh, no? I’ve done this since I’ve worked here, might as well let a newbie in on the fun.” She was speaking with a couple gobstoppers in her mouth, strolling back around from the snack bar. “Say, I brought some stuff with me, wanna take it back to the cinema hall?”

“I guess, I just…” Something about the air felt a little funny, like I wasn’t meant to be there. I supposed this could have just been the general feeling of being somewhere after-hours, but it still lingered with me. “It’s nothing, can you grab me a soda?”

“Hell yeah, now you’re talking.” Two of the largest cups filled with some sort of soda pop, which I didn’t care too much about the type. My mouth just felt dry.

Quinn lead me into the theatre room, the big screen blank without anything playing on it. She plopped her big bag down on the floor dead-centre in front of the screen, sodas and candy strewn out on the floor. Out of her bag she pulled a polished slate of wood, setting it down to reveal a carved and burnt-in alphabet, along with a little teardrop-shaped piece of stone with a hole in the centre. An Ouija board.

“Oh no,” I ran a hand down my face, letting out a long sigh, “I’m not doing any ghost bullshit, not after what you told me.”

“But that was the fun part!” She took a sip from her soda, spinning the talisman on her finger, “you’ll regret it if you bail now.”

I plopped down on the floor in front of her, putting my hands in my lap as I anxiously played with the loose string on the end of my slacks. “Whatever, it’s just stupid. Do you REALLY think anything good is gonna happen if we…?”

“Come on, you’re being lame. Put ‘er hand on there.” She patted the planchette on the wood, and I obliged. A little shaky, admittedly, my hand rested on hers on the board. She spoke, loud and clear as her voice echoed through the walls, “is anybody there?”

Silence. And then some horrid, glacial coldness cascaded over our hands, the sound of wood against wood. Sliding. ‘No.’ My breath hitched as it moved again. ‘H’, ‘A’, ‘H’, ‘A’. Finally, it felt a little warmer after resting on ‘Yes.’

Quinn’s eyes were wide as she laughed, uttering under her breath, “sick as hell.” Then, she asked again, “what is your name?”

Nothing. I noted a distinct coldness in the air, and…It felt hard to breathe. “Quinn, I don’t like this.”

She rolled her eyes, “you’re no fun. Ever since you started working here, you know, you’ve been so uptight. Loosen up.” I clenched my fist, diverging my attention from her judging glare, anywhere but looking at her. And looking down at our hands again, there was a third one, white and gloved.

Oh no.

“Am I not a part of this conversation any more?” A raucous, shrill voice filled the air with an undeniable presence. The gloved hand lead up to an arm of black and red, old and tattered sleeves from a vintage usher uniform. And the most unsettling grin sat upon a wrinkled face, definitely dead, there was no way this was not a corpse, reanimated. Most notable was an eye of white, contrasting against a wide brown one that was much less glassy, but not a bit more lively. His skin was pale as a ghost, probably because he was one.

I jumped to my feet, stumbling back, but Quinn just sat there. Hell if I knew why, but before I could try to tell her, scream at her to run or do just, just anything, he’d already grabbed her by the nape of her shirt collar. In his hand he raised a flashlight, clunky with the shine it may have originally had decrepit with both age and splatters of brown and red across its chrome. I wanted to either move forward, attacking the man who threatened to bludgeon my superior, or just run back, but I couldn’t help but watch.

Blood. Blood down her face, broken nose in with a single thwack that really showed off how heavy that thing had to be. But he looked back at me, dropping her limp body to the ground, and his eyes, the crow’s eyes cracking from the crevices from an inhuman smile. “I-I’ve got to go, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I sputtered nonsensically, like it’d matter. I made a beeline for the front door, which I could have sworn we closed, but one of the glass doors sat open.

“Hope to see you Tuesday.”

That voice sat with me in my mind. It sounded like he was right next to me as I slammed the door shut, but I rushed, I had to go. I had to leave. Leaving her behind as I ran for wherever I could, home, the police? I had the feeling I’d not see Quinn again.

[cake-of-awesome]

bad

i really need to talk better

i also need to understand myself and my feelings better

dad came in wanting to talk about what my doctor wanted to ask

earlier this week i had a bone density test done. i think it was a follow up test, maybe for the cancer study i was in 10 years ago? im not really sure. the clinic called the house for w/e reason on tuesday and just today i finally called them back mainly due to forgetting and also because i hate phone calls. during the exchange i never really figured out why they called or what the whole deal was, just that i needed to call the hospital in the event i never hear my results from the test? i dont really know or understand and at the time i didnt really care to ask because i was hungry and wanted to get lunch and i always will do whatever it takes to just make a conversation on there as short as possible due to phone anxiety. i didnt even talk to any doctors two receptionists.

i told my dad i didnt know what it was about, just that i should call childrens if i dont get my results back. dad didnt like that answer, he had this skeptical look on his face. im not sure what to make of that like if he was worried somethings up and i have cancer cells in my bones or what but he quickly changed the topic to ask if anything else was going on because i had this deer in a headlights look, i didnt really know what to say so he went on to ask if i was still planning on seeing a doctor about my depression

im supposed to be seeing another counselor on monday, im hoping the meeting goes good and i can finally have a regular therapist to deal with this depression anxiety tornado of whatever thats been going on

i told him that yeah im still going to do that on monday and then he just, asked me if i was sure i was depressed

i mean? really?

to be perfectly honest i’m not sure i am depressed. but then agaim im not sure about basically everything at this point.

im not sure im ace. im not sure im a girl. im not sure i enjoy reading or writing or doing art or anything. im not sure i want to exist. im not sure about a lot of things and im not feeling anything either. is that a sign of depression?

various people have pointed out that i sound depressed for a few years now is that a valid sign? or just bullshit?

i have scars (subtle sure but still there) from burns and scratches i did to myself. does that count as self harm? is that a sign of depression? i’ve also caught myself idealizing my own death several times these past few weeks. is that depression? i mean im never going to act on those thoughts. but then again the main reason is because im just too tired.

like i honestly dont know

and of course i never said any of those things because at the time it was too on the spot. all i could mumble out was that movies arent ejnoyable as an example and i feel like it didnt really translate well enough since later on he said maybe im not enjoying movies much because my thinking is too clouded with all the art stuff i learned in college to appreciate it for what it is

the conversation turned pretty one sided at that point

dad just said that the feelings im having arent unique and that my entire generation in general has these issues and mostly said its due to the internet because my generation spends all their time online to be social which isnt the same as actually getting out and seeing people and hanging out there and that what im feeling is partly to blame due to all i do is go to work and then come home and dont do anything else inbetween

yeah, i agree with him, obviously social media interactions dont equal actual hugs and meet ups and the like, of course not.

but at the same time the reason i dont do anything when im home is because i dont have the will to do anything. im so tired and so exhausted. and unless im being invited to something or find a reason to get up i just wont leave my room sometimes.... and i dont think its laziness?

i mean back in college this was an issue too. thats when i started to scratch at myself as a way to self harm. there were several times i would just lock myself in a public restroom or hide out in some trees and wait out an anxiety attack because i didnt want my friends or roommates to ask questions. and whenever i came back from going to club meetings and hang outs in the city or whatever i found myself feeling exhausted and terrible. 

like okay, one, i had stress from being away from home and having so much school work certainly didnt help anything but this was also the most social i ever got and was working with such a wide circle of people and doing things that i *loved* which were good things?

im really lost right now. dad is right i am isolated now that im here which doesnt help anything. maybe im not depressed maybe its all in my head. maybe my problem isnt that im not feeling anything but i dont have anyone to hang out with because i dont make friends or deep personal connections with people who are in my area.

but maybe the reason i dont do that is because im so anxious all the time. maybe im so tired all the time is for those same reasons. maybe the reason i dont feel anything is because im too tired to process anything. maybe i do feel and have emotions like anger fear and crying but only at precise moments that trigger them into a hurricane. maybe what i need is help to deal with this anxiety thats eating me alive so that im drowning in nothing.

maybe thats my problem. in which case i still need help. i cant live my life in this perpetual state of saying whatever the hell without processing whats going on or even caring about it. or freezing up and unable to say what i mean because i dont know what i mean or am thinking in the first place. 

i am so damned tired

it took so much effort to convince myself i needed to speak up, and then to go through with the act, and find the doctors and everything and now being questioned like this, even if it was out of concern or similar motiviations, this is just my worst fear confirmed

im already filled with confusion and self doubt about every other aspect there is i dont need another reason to doubt my own mental statei already spent probably 3? 4 years? convinced this was all in my head?

i dont even know why he asked this, his own sister has depression and his wife, my mom had it too when i was born? im not sure if he was asking out of concern or wariness because he doesnt want me to get addicted on opiodes or what

i dont even WANT medication. im so afraid at the idea that once im medicated i’ll actually go through with it. right now the only thing im taking is some vitamin d supplements and thats it. i dont want to take anything else. not until im out of the house and living somewhere where i dont know where the key to the gun cabinet and gunshells are located.

.

.

.

i think the worst part is at the end of the talk he said that if i ever wanted to talk about anything i could always come to him. he doesnt even realize how conflicting that is to say after asking if im sure i have depression. and im not even sure how to even broach that topic myself

i am so tired

[chaerin247]

to: the only boy i ever loved with all of my  b r o k e n   h e a r t

((TW DEATH))

tuesday march 6th:

[ 12.47 pm - txt -> little brother ]: dont eat too many peanuts ok

[ 12.50 pm - txt -> little brother ]: u shouldn't even be texting me on the plane i think it messes up the coordination system or something

[ 1.20 pm -txt -> little brother ]: DONT WATCH ICE AGE W/OUT ME

[ 1.25 pm - txt -> little brother ]: also text me when u land pls little brother ]: fyi ur older sis just got asked out by the cutest guy ok IMMA HAVE A BF BY THE SUMMER

[ 6.42 pm - txt -> little brother ]: dongyul?

[ 6.43 pm - txt -> little brother ]: omg i just saw the news and everyone is crying and freaking out r u ok

[ 6.45 pm - txt -> little brother ]: dongyul answer me

[ 6.45 pm - txt -> little brother ]: right now

[ 6.45 pm - txt -> little brother ]: please

[ 6.46 pm - txt -> little brother ]: DONGYUL ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW OKAY PLEASE PLEASE

[ 6.47 pm - txt -> little brother ]: PLEASE BE OK

[ 6.47 pm - txt -> little brother ]: I NEVER ASK NICELY FOR ANYTHING OKAY U KNOW THAT PLEASE

[ 6.47 pm - txt -> little brother ]: ....JUST..........

[ 6.51 pm - txt -> little brother ]: please please god please

[ 6.51 pm - txt -> little brother ]: please..

.

sunday march 19th:

[ 3.34 pm - txt -> little brother ]: we buried u and mom next to each other. i miss you

.

monday june 21st:

[ 8.47 am - txt -> little brother ]: watching movies without you doesnt make any sense anymore

[ 8.47 am - txt -> little brother ]: we still had like 2347364 movies on our watch list....

[ 8.49 am - txt -> little brother ]: who am i supposed to talk about nerdy stuff with anymore??

[ 8.49 am - txt -> little brother ]: u were always the nerdy stuff expert not me

[ 8.49 am - txt -> little brother ]: twerp

[ 8.49 am - txt -> little brother ]: lol

[ 9.02 pm - txt -> little brother ]: holy fuck..

[ 9.02 pm - txt -> little brother ]: please dont make me do this all by myself..

.

friday august 23rd:

[ 11.37 pm - txt -> little brother ]: i went by your grave today

.

saturday november 8th:

[ 1.25 am - txt -> little brother ]: i should be more mad that dad wont let me stay home but

[ 1.25 am - txt -> little brother ]: u were my home

[ 1.26 am - txt -> little brother ]: i know i'm mushy ok just shut up and love me back

[ 1.33 am - txt -> little brother ]: holy shit please come back i can't stand this

.

monday february 25th:

[ 2.10 pm - txt -> little brother ]: it's my birthday and you're not here and i was thinking about my 10th birthday when you pushed my cake off the table and i got so mad at you i hit you with my fork and accidentally stabbed ur hand and you were bleeding and we both started crying and mom took us both to the hospital because i was so upset i wouldn't leave you alone

[ 2.10 pm - txt -> little brother ]: haha remember that?

.

wednesday june 14th:

[ 4.03 am - txt -> little brother ]: WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP HURTING

[ 4.03 am - txt -> little brother ]: TIME IS A FUCKING LIE

.

thursday december 15th:

[ 4.55 pm - txt -> little brother ]: sweet sixteen!! happy birthday baby brother~~~

[ 4.55 pm - txt -> little brother ]: ur always gonna be a baby to me

[ 4.55 pm - txt -> little brother ]: u would have whined at that haha

[ 4.55 pm - txt -> little brother ]: we would have laughed and i would have just bullied you into accepting it

[ 4.58 pm - txt -> little brother ]: i still miss you

[ 4.58 pm - txt -> little brother ]: i hope you're

[ 4.59 pm - txt -> little brother ]: yeah

[ 4.59 pm - txt -> little brother ]: happy somewhere

[ 4.59 pm - txt -> little brother ]: wherever u are

.

friday march 3rd:

[ 2.23 am - txt -> little brother ]: i'm so drunk and i keep rereading this shit like it'll bring you back somehow

[ 2.23 am - txt -> little brother ]: i should stop messaging this number

[ 2.23 am - txt -> little brother ]: but

[ 2.23 am - txt -> little brother ]: you haunt me

[ 2.23 am - txt -> little brother ]: and its kind of nice yknow?

[ 2.24 am - txt -> little brother ]: its kind of nice

.

monday march 6th:

[ 11.15 am - txt -> little brother ]: honestly i always look up at the stars but i always wish for the same thing

[ 11.15 am - txt -> little brother ]: for your plane to have landed

[ 11.16 am txt -> little brother ]: i would kill god if it brought you back

[thelandofmrsparkle]

w e e k o n e july 27 - august 2, 2002

While my sayonara soirée met or exceeded all expectations for a good time and hot-ass send off (and thanks to all who came out to see me off, particularly special musical guests Dr. Octoboobies, The Wolfnote and Charter Trip a.k.a. Daive - nice call, Pete!), there was something that didn't feel right the entire week of my preparations for the move to Japan. And I think it was not knowing if I had a place in the world. I had envisioned my final week as one of reaffirming my ties to people so that I could take those with me to my new home, far far away from everyone and everything I've known up to that point. And this was largely the case, with one exception - the one person more important, playing a larger role in my life, than all others combined.

It was really my own fault - I let my own insecurities and self-consciousness and anguish over my myriad shortcomings get the best of me. So instead of making the most of our last days and hours together, I spent them feeling hurt and resenting her for pursuing her own life, because it became apparent that my place in her life may be radically different than how it has been. In fact, my place had changed radically within the course of a week. Or at least I believed it had, no matter how much she reassured me otherwise. No matter what she said, I looked for incongruencies in what she did. And I found them, then anguished over them instead of just relishing my good fortune for having her in my life at all.

Now, it's not entirely my fault - I was couch surfing for a week while simultaneously at death's door with hella flu (on my birthday no less!), so I was all discombobulated and barely ate anything at all for the final week. Not the best state o' mind to begin with, then compound that with moving-to-another-continent stress and things get kind of distorted in one's feverish and nutrient-starved servo.

So, while I'm glad I got to say goodbye in style at the sayonara soirée (if you were invited and didn't come and have not a valid excuse communicated to me either prior to or immediately following, rest assured you are on my shit list!), the goodbye I wanted for the person who matters most did not happen the way I wish it had.

This is typical me - crying about what I might not have, disregarding the amazing number of truly fantastic people I have in my life!

last-minute packing: July 26, 2002

The flight to Narita airport 1ce again confirmed my inability to sleep in a moving vehicle. Lengthy and largely uneventful. I took advantage of the time by grilling the 16-year-old Japanese girl sitting next to me about "kokkoi" nihon-go. Cho is cooler than totemo(Lily, don't let it go to your head!); Makadonorado is shortened to Maka by those in the know. My nihon go no sensei was returning home to Tokyo from a 6-month stay learning eigo in Ottawa. She truly did not want to go back and was almost in tears when we touched down at Narita Airport. I added her to my mental list of Japanese women I know who did not want to go back after visiting Canada - what exactly is that all about?

(my Air Canada flight AC1 nihon-go no sensei -domo arigato gozaimashita!) A three-hour bus ride from Narita (what kind of city has its airport 3 HOURS from downtown?) took us to the lovely Keio Plaza Hotel in Shinjuku, which for the next 3 days would be subjected to 1,500 JETS renacting frosh week. Not really my scene, so I stuck mostly with folks I knew already, or wandered around on my own. The first night, lost in Shinjuku, I wandered by a closed office tower surrounded by packs of Japanese kids with all manner of boomboxes blaring drum and bass, hip hop, j-pop and everything in between, breakdancing or executing Britney Spears-style coordinated group dance moves. It was my first taste of the Japan I was hoping to stumble onto and here I was, literally stumbling onto it.

The other JET's are largely the middle-class cream of the college crop - young, smart, attractive and capable - so they were largely not real interesting to hang out with. In fact, I'm being kind - there are some serious dullards in the crop. I found the boys particularly homogenous in a cookie-cutter gelled-haircut stylee. OK, there were some pretty cool and interesting folks I met, but I'm going to try not to dwell on them, since I will likely not be seeing them again.

I felt a little black sheep-esque, being not so young, or attractive, but that's really an extension of my university experience. And anyhow, I still had smart and capable and not quite so mind-numbingly dull going for me! Still, I commisserated with someone who while sympathetic, herself scored full marks in all four categories, making her commisseration somewhat disingenuous (spelling?). But as Thi would say, "no mattah!"

Props to Nads and Jen for taking me away from the Keio Plaza JET summer camp por la comida mexicana. Props to Mai for taking me away from frosh week at Keoi Plaza for some itari no ryooori and shoppingu, even if she did tell me that I was fat (like I needed that pointed out to me!). She brought me Bruce Lee action figures though, so really, it all balances out. You, know, like yin and yang!

Picked up the next day by Itabashi-sensei and Yamasigawa-sensei, who both seem very nice. Yamasigawa-sensei's english is not quite as good as Itabashi-sensei's so he and Yamada-sensei at the Saitama BOE remain enigmas somewhat. But Itabashi-sensei seems quite nice and I'm sure I'll get on well with everyone - because when don't I?

My apato is a lot nicer than the student residence-esque place the other two JETS in the area have been placed in. True, I trade off a bit - they are surrounded by JET veterans while I am fending for myself over by Saitama Super Arena. But my place is bigger, nicer, quiet and well-appointed.

Actually the social isolation is tough for me on a couple of levels. One, I haven't lived by myself in over a decade. I'm used to sharing living space with roommates and friends. Two, I'm used to being somewhere where I understand the language - where I can read signs and comprehend what people are saying and say things to people that they will likewise comprehend. I'm used to being somewhere where people will acknowledge your existence from time to time when running across them on the street, instead of obviously avoiding looking your way (could that be a fear of being forced to display their rusty-and-scant high school eigo?). I'm used to having a phone and an internet connection (hopefully phone by Monday - getsu-yobi - and internet on Tuesday - kai-yobi)!

Case in point: after Itabashi and Yamasigawa-senseis dropped me off, I managed to really fuck up my ankle bad by tripping whilst carring a 70-pound bag of my stuff. It is currently purple and swollen as hell. Last night I determined it to be the worst foot injury I've ever incurred and I couldn't really get off the futon. Since I had no phone or anyone popping by I spent the entire night watching incomprehensible yet quite entertaining J-terebi and wondering if I had sprained shit. Asleep at 11pm (noon Montréal time). Awake by 4am (5pm in Montréal).

But I guess this is the "adjustment period" and once I'm "settled in" and teaching a version of english in two junior high schools and the elementary school across the street I will be feeling much better about everything.

w e e k t w o august 3, 2002 - august 10, 2002

[the-mayor-of-space]

You want a whole bunch? D O T H E M A L L . . . jkjk 1-37, 45, 56, 89, 99, 103, 104, 108, 122, 125, 135, 147 + 148, 155-169, 171, 176, 195 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), 200

34: State visited:oh boy here we go

its a little weird that the asks are in reverse order in the post huh. i thought so at least.

the first part is all favourites so here we go

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? : see like look at this. question one is about how i answered all the questions i havent answered yet. the answer will be yes though, because otherwise whats the point.

2: Dog breed: i looked up a list of dog breeds because i dont know anything about them really and shelties are my new favourite kind of dog. at least aesthetically. [look at this doggo shes so good]

3: Comedian: dan avidan, gabriel iglesias, louis ck, various internet funnymen, etc.

4: Talk show host: tbh i dont think ive ever w=been a fan if talk shows.

5: Color: p u r p l e

6: Flower: every flower that has a pokemon character named after it.

7: Perfume: anything subtle enough to not send me to asthma-ville

8: Yankee candle scent: man lots of these are just things i dont know really anythign about huh

9: Radio station: mojave music radio ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᵃᶰʸᵇᵒᵈʸ ᵉᵛᵉᶰ ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᶫ ʳᵃᵈᶦᵒ ˢᵗᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰˢ ᵃᶰʸᵐᵒʳᵉ﹖ ʰᵒʷ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵉᶰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᶰᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵃʸ ᵒᵖᵉᶰ﹖

10: Restaurant:  five guys, my dudes. that shits so good.

11: Food: all sorts of generic shit. pizza, pasta, poutine, suchi, you know the drill

12: Thing to cook: mmmm. im not honestly sure. i cook a lot of stuff but im not sure anythign in particular stands out as my favourite. i can tell you for certain it isnt griled fucking cheese. such a pain in the ass to cook and the customers always get upset that it takes so long and its like im fucking sorry that you have 3 goddamn children who all need grilled fucking cheeses instead of a food choice that isnt trash and it takes up the grill so i cant make food for any of our other 30 customers in line right now and we’re always out of fucking vegetables to give you on your plate to go with it jesus fucking christ

a job where i had to deal with customers all day was not well suited to a lowkey misanthrope like me.

13: Concert attended: tbh im not big on concerts. ive been to a few but its not my jam.

14: Beach: cannon beach in oregon is pretty great if i remember, but its been like 10 years since i went. also i didnt dislike beaches back then.

15: Day of the week: friday. because of course it fucking is. or monday/tuesday was pretty good when i was workign because that was my weekend

16: Book: the book thief was the last thing i read and particularly enjoyed so lets go with that

17: Magazine: i mean like i said with radios, magazines arent really a thing anymore are they? like i get that theyre technically still around but does anyone buy them? ive honestly never seen someone reading a magazine for anythign other than lack of proper reading material onhand.

18: Sport to play: eww gross.

19: Sport to watch: FOOBAW. ᶦ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ᵃ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐᶰ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᶠᵒᵒᵗᵇᵃᶫᶫ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʳᵉᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵏ ᶦᵛᵉ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵍᵃᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢᵖᵒʳᵗˢ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ⋅

20: Holiday: h a l l o w e e n ,   b a b y. i fuckin love to get s p o o k y

21: Theme park: there was this one waterpark i went to a handful of times as a kid, but i heard it got shut down recently.

22: Animal: i like cats and crows. i swear im not an edgelord, i just dont think about animals that much. ᵖᵒᵏᵉᵐᵒᶰ ᵒᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʰᵃᶰᵈ⋅⋅⋅

23: Website: i was gonna say tumblr and then i realized i actually fucking hate this website

24: Movie: ive said it before and i’ll say it again. detective heart of america is the best goddamn movie of our modern era and i will fight anyone who disagrees dave

25: TV show: rick and morty yo

26: Grocery store: any of them? i heard the owner of one of the grocery stores in my town died recently so thats something. i also heard he was a dick though so whatever.

27: Clothing store: anywhere where i can buy stuff with space on it immediately becomes one of my favourites.

28: Band: lemon demon / neil cicerega, same guy. also ninja sex party.

29: Singer: ditto, dan avidan and neil cicerega

30: Actress: i kind of dont know any?

31: Actor: same deal. im not a particular of any of the ones i know in specific

32: Athlete: world famous pugilist: tommy ray handly

33: Cellphone provider: i mean im not partial to any of them. i use telus but also their internet isnt great sometimes.

34: State visited: oregon yo. that shits aesthetic af. for reference im canadian so ive only been to a few of the states.

35: President Prime Minister: new trudeau is new so he hasnt really done much yet but boy howdy is he a handsome chappie or what

36: Vehicle: i dont know a thing about cars.

37: Candy: starburst. toffee. caramel.im sure im forgetting lots.

on to the next bit, this part is miscellanious:

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: having my hair played with. i love it so much

56: Favorite web site: hey cool this is the same question as 23.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: probably @brannysweetnuts

well that was short. these next two are “the last time i”

99: Went to a movie theater: when i went to go see rogue one. it was good shit sassmaster robot is my favourite.

103: Hugged someone: like a week and a half ago. i think.

alright up next is “heres what i think about”

104: The future: probably its not gonna be much better than it is right now. i certainly dont have one.

108: Designer Clothes: tbh i kind of dont have any thoughts on them other than that they kind of seem like a waste of money?

122: War: im glad/lucky as fuck i dont have to deal with it. also a lot of them seem kind of pointless.

this part is “this or that”

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

135: Burried or cremated: i want you guys to take my skeleton and make it into a statue, put some cool sunglasses on me, and stand me up in a lobby/foyer somewhere. and failing that, cremate me and shoot the ashes into space. or better yet: put cool glasses on my skeleton and then shoot that into space.

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn, baby

148: Summer or winter: A U T U M N

these ones are “do you believe in”

155: Magic: nope

156: Orbs: of course i believe in orbs, i main zenyatta

157: War: i believe it exists. i dont believe its that useful most of the time.

158: Gay Marriage: oh come on, we all know the gays dont actually exist

r-right?

159: Ghosts: no :/ i wish they were real though that would be rad as shit. i love ghosts.

160: Soul mates: i hope

161: Horoscopes: no, but theyre still fun

162: God: nah

163: Hell: nope

164: Heaven: no

165: Aliens: yeah. but theyre probably super lame and single-celled. and even if they arent theyre way far away and itll be unrealistic to ever find them. the universe is a big fucking place my dudes.

166: Yourself: my biggest “ N O ” of all

167: Fate: i like to think the many worlds interpretation is true. but even if it is, we cant travel between timelines, so fate may as well exist.

168: Luck: rng exists, so yeah. thats what luck is.

169: Love at first sight: objectively not. thats physical attraction, thats not love. if you dont know the person at all youre not in love with them, theyre just cute.

ʰᵉʸ ᶦˢᶰᵗ ᶦᵗ ᶜᶫᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵒᶰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᵗ ʰᵃᵈ "⁶⁹" ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵘᵐᵇᵉʳ

this is the final stretch of questions. theyre miscellanious again. because talent.

171: Do you play an instrument? no. sometimes i pretend i can sing, but i cant do that either.

176: Last YouTube video watched: [this]

195: My shoe size is: i cant remember off the top of my head and i dont want to go downstairs to check.

200: My crush’s name is: uhh. this is pretty bad, but im actually not sure how to spell it.

admittedly, norwegian names are tough. we can all agree on this.