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summerofsnowflakes · 3 years ago

Text

Graduation Night

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 20.5K (I cannot believe how long this is, sorry...)

Summary: Getting engaged is supposed to be a happy affair and with Bucky's family it is, for the most part. But before you can truly celebrate, you have to make it through the initiation.

Warnings: 18+ MDI, swearing, violence, bodily harm, blood, knives, knife play, smut, oral (f receiving), hints of a sub/dom relationship with Bucky and reader, pet names (Bucky refers to reader as Princess.)

A/n: I feel like I have been working on this fic for the longest time and I am so proud of it. I really hope you guys enjoy it!! Also I have tagged all the characters that appear in the story, they all have a significant role to play.

Here's the link to the moodboard for this fic!

Dividers by the amazing @firefly-graphics

Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist

3:03am

The thick, dusty air clogged your tormented lungs, each breath becoming more laboured as you pulled yourself upwards.

Dust irritated the open wounds on your body, small droplets of fresh blood dribbled down your chest.

You’d been so close to getting caught and you knew if Tony got his hands on you, you wouldn’t be lucky enough to escape another round of torture just yet.

You were crammed so tightly into the crawl space and yet. You strained your neck just to catch a glimpse of the lonely darkness that fell behind you.

Sticky cobwebs clung to your damp skin, tiny insects crawled over your exposed shoulders and nipped at your ankles. It made your stomach turn. You were in agony, every part of your body screamed at you to stop moving. It didn’t matter, you had to keep moving away from Tony’s office.

Stay alive!

It was the only thought echoing through your mind. It throbbed round and round in your mind like a broken record, beating in time with your heavy heart.

The lack of oxygen in the small tunnel made your stomach turn, dizziness taunted you. Exhaustion threatened to pull you under its current and drag you back down into the arms of the people who would be all too thrilled to get their hands on you.

You had no idea where in the house you’d made it to, but you were getting closer to a dim orange light ahead.

You prayed to yourself that the inviting light up would bring some sort of safety, but you weren’t so naive anymore. You knew it was easier to prepare for the worst.

That way you couldn't be disappointed when the next member of the family tried to kill you; at this point you’d just be content to breathe clean air.

You crawled out of the tunnel, a mess of elbows and knees thudded against the damp exposed floorboards and flopped onto your back. A harsh breath ripped through your sore chest, sharp pains shot down your body.

The soft amber light was a painful contrast to the total darkness of the tunnel, your eyes clamped shut from overwhelming shock to your retinas. Speckles of dust settled in the corners of your eyes.

You laid against the floor, catching your breath when heavy footsteps pounded against the floor, coming out from the shadows to loom over you.

You froze, your breath faltered entirely, a dark figure shrouded the light that illuminated your closed lids. Reluctant to open your eyes yet, you heaved yourself up. A piercing pain shot through you as your broken ribs ground against one another.

Your irritated eyes fluttered open, immediately met with the sight of thick thighs covered by black suit trousers that you were well acquainted with.

Your gazed trailed up past his perfectly tailored suit, meeting his disgruntled pale blue eyes and taut stubble covered jaw.

“As much as I love seeing you in this position,” He grunted, his fingers wrapped around your upper arm and yanked you up from the floor.

You hissed at his roughness, usually you didn’t have a problem when he was rough, but right now it highlighted all the pain you were experiencing.

“I thought I told you to stay away from the attic, Princess.” Bucky snarled, throwing your body backwards into the structural beam. You remained silent, leaning against the beam to stay upright. He stomped towards you, fury burning in his eyes, confliction etched into his features. “You’ve given me no choice. I’m going to have to kill you now.”

9:30pm

Bucky Barnes was a wreck; he was on edge, skittish and highly strung. Any word similar to nervous would perfectly describe your fiancé.

He hadn’t managed to utter more than a few words to you all day. He’d barely looked at you, keeping at least two metres aways from you all day. Everywhere you went in the house, he’d made it his mission to be elsewhere.

When you’d been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of him, he was visibly tense. Mustering up a pained grimace and something resembling guilt in his eyes.

Even when the car arrived to take you to Tony’s mansion he was acting particularly strange. He huddled up against the car door, leaving as much space between your bodies as humanly possible.

He was ghostly pale, his whole body steadily vibrating with anxiety. He fidgeted in his seat every thirty seconds, his hands alternating between rubbing his hands over his short stubble shaikly, or raking through his silky hair. He looked like he might jump out of the moving car at any given second.

You’d been engaged no more than thirty six hours when you received the invite for tonight from Tony and Steve. A gold encrusted piece of paper and a large gift box, filled with a beautiful white A-line dress with a tulle skirt.

Tonight was supposed to be a celebration with his family and yet, Bucky looked more nervous now, than he had moments before he got down on one knee. You’d met the family on multiple occasions over the past 18 months, been welcomed in with open arms.

You were privy to the business, Bucky had told you not long after you started dating and although it was a shock it didn’t bother you.

So it didn’t make any sense why he was more nervous now than he’d been the first time he’d introduced you.

You just couldn’t pinpoint a solid reason and Bucky looked like he was more likely to vomit on your pretty white dress than share his thoughts and feelings.

His whole demeanour had set the tone for the evening, you were feeding off of the energy he exuded. You didn’t dare ask him too many questions, terrified that there’d be a Bucky shaped hole in the door if you probed too hard.

When the car pulled up at the end of the long, secluded driveway, your breath caught in your throat. It always did, Tony and Steve’s house was magnificent.

From the clean off-white brick work, to the archaic water fountain, to the intricately carved stone pillars. It was a breathtaking sight. It resembled something straight out of the roman empire, or at least you imagined it did.

Bucky swiftly excited the car, throwing his door shut and leaving you alone for a matter of moments.You released a shaky breath, your shoulders sagged.

This should be a time of pure excitement. You’d just gotten engaged to the love of your life, but his frightful energy made your stomach bubble, your fingers tingle and your heart race unevenly.

Another beat of silence passed with you making no attempts to move from the backseat, worry held you firmly strapped in against the expensive leather chair.

Bucky reappeared at your side of the car just as your mind was descending into a complete spiral. He opened the door for you carefully, offering you his hand.

It was the first sign of love that he’d offered up to you all day, it instantly melted away the worry that was building in your chest. You smiled up at him, slipping your hand into his and allowed him to pull you out of the car. Your heart swelled in your chest as the ring sparkled brightly under the night’s sky.

When you were safely out of the car he tried to pull his hand away from yours, but you tightened your grip.

“Where you running off to Barnes?” You chuckled nervously, attempting to ease his tension.

It didn’t work.

“Sorry, princess.” Bucky grumbled, staring intently at the steady stream shooting out of the water fountain.

The closer you got to the mansion, the smaller Bucky’s steps became. He was dawdling, trying desperately to keep you from entering the house. It took nearly ten full minutes to walk from the car to the front door.

Bucky’s free hand hovered over the door handle. One side of his brain willing him to open it, the other screaming at him to haul you over his shoulder and make a run for it.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, tuning into the soft circled you rubbed into his flesh. When he opened his eyes again, he turned away from the door facing you.

His heart almost gave out on him as he finally took in your appearance. He’d been so consumed by his own anxiety that he hadn’t noticed how perfect you looked in your dress.

Tony had an eye for picking out the perfect dress. He licked his lips involuntarily as his eyes flitted from your face along your bare neck. He followed the thin spaghetti strap down to your corseted chest. It was a shame such a pretty dress would be totaled by the end of the night.

“You look…” He breathed heavily, running his hands up your arms gently awakening a trail of goosebumps. “Wow.”

Your eyes swept down to the floor, smiling bashfully, but his fingers caught your chin. He tipped your head upwards, the fear that had lived in his eyes momentarily replaced with adoration.

“How did I get so lucky?” He muttered, leaning in and placing a kiss to your willing lips.

You melted into his kiss right away, your hands pawing softly at his jacket lapels. His hands held your waist, losing himself in you and then suddenly his whole body stiffened.

He pulled away from your lips, completely breathless, pressing his forehead to yours and breathed in the sweet scent of your perfume.

“Princess, please know that whatever happens tonight-” his breath faltered, his lips quaking. “I just… I just need you to know that I love you so much.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as you peered up at him through your thick eyelashes. “What do you mean Buck?”

“I’m just really sorry.” He whispered.

You didn’t understand, you couldn’t pinpoint why he was acting like this. You felt the dread settling in your stomach but you pushed it down and ignored it. One of you had to remain calm.

“James Barnes, I think you’re being a complete drama queen. I’ve met your family a thousand times before, what could possibly be so scary about tonight?” You smiled, softly laughing.

You didn’t wait for him to respond, moving past him you opened the door and stepped into the foyer of the mansion.

“You’ve got no idea, Princess.” Bucky muttered under his breath.

The foyer of Tony and Steve’s home was equally as extravagant as the outside. You were certain you could fit your whole apartment into this room twice.

The luxuriousness of the outside of the house, didn’t do justice to the extravagance of the inside.

White marble was solid under your feet, your eyes overwhelmed by the white and gold wallpaper. Opposite the door stood the grand red stained oak staircase,each step covered with rich scarlett wool carpet.

It bled money and screamed opulence.

You closed the door behind you, practically having to force Bucky’s beefy form into the room.

Steve and Tony, your not-so-humble hosts, were on the stairs awaiting your arrival. Jarvis stood at the bottom of the stairs, holding a silver serving tray with four glasses of champagne.

You smiled up at them both, offering an over-excited wave as they descended the stairs down to your level.

They were a picture of polar opposites, Steve dressed in his signature navy suit, whilst Tony sported something resembling an expensive pair of burgundy silk pyjamas.

“Ahh the guests of honour have arrived!” Tony rejoiced, “it’s so wonderful to have you here.” He pulled you into a hug with surprising force. “Now let me see the rock!”

Tony didn’t give you a chance to respond, simply letting go of your body, he held your left hand out in the middle of the group, inspecting the ring.

“Could have gone bigger Barnes,” he jibed, shooting Bucky a playful wink, “but all in all very impressive. It suits you my dear.”

He took two of the champagne flutes from the tray Jarvis held, handing one to you and clinked the glasses together. He didn’t bother handing out the other two their drinks, far too seemingly wrapped up in eying up your form in the dress he’d picked out.

“You look like a bridal dream in that dress!” He mused, eyes raking over your form proudly once more. “Didn’t I pick out the perfect dress for her, Steve?”

It was an odd feeling, having someone talk about your appearance in front of you but as if you weren’t there at all. You felt over exposed, like you were standing naked on a podium being inspected by strangers.

“You always do.” Steve muttered, smiling warmly at you before offering you a welcoming hug.

“You look stunning, you really do.” He mumbled in your ear, regret teasing its way into his voice. His body was rigid and stiff, holding almost identical tension to Bucky.

“Thanks Steve, thank you for having us tonight too.” You smiled, gently falling back you leant against Bucky’s solid chest, enjoying the warmth he radiated as his arm snaked around your waist protectively.

“Nonsense! This is a right of passage in our family. Right boys?” Tony smirked.

Steve managed to plaster an artificial smile onto his, a simple yes slipping through gritted teeth.

Bucky didn’t respond, his eyes piercing a burning at Tony. His arm tightened around you, squeezing the curve of your hip reassuringly.

Silence lingered in the air for another beat, Tony’s beady eyes analysed the pair of you. And then a wide, wicked smile spread across his lips. “Come, come! Everyone else has already arrived. No sense in keeping them waiting any longer.”

The dinner party was wonderful; you’d enjoyed a fabulous three course meal, made up of foods that you’d never even heard of and every bite tasted beautiful. Everyone around the table indulged themselves, with all the food and wine imaginable.

It really was a full family event, everyone had turned up to celebrate your engagement. Steve and Tony sat at either end of the table, their right hand men, Sam and Rhoady sitting to their left.

Natasha and Wanda sat to your left, joining in on the festivities when necessary but mostly kept to themselves as they always did. Whispering and giggling with one another, they resembled pre-school best friends. Thick as thieves and speaking an entirely different language to everyone else.

Thor and Loki, the family heads of midwest had travelled in to make a special appearance for the party. They were notorious for their brutality, they ran their faction with an iron fist. Tonight was the first time you’d met.

Peter sat opposite you, offering gentle, friendly smiles but mostly keeping to himself throughout the dinner.

He was originally meant to sit beside you according to the name cards on the table, but Bucky had seen to changing that immediately. He was firm in the position that he was staying by your side, no matter what.

Unlike the rest of the day, his presence beside you was comforting. He was always touching you; whether it was playing footsie carefully under the table, intertwining your fingertips or him rubbing soothing circles into your bare shoulders. He was always in the forefront of your mind, grounding you when things started to feel too intense.

There was a growing air of excitement buzzing through the family as the night moved on. Little comments and jokes were made as the family grew more intoxicated and loosely lipped. None of it made any sense to you, but that would come with time.

Tony’s staff made light work of collecting the last of the dessert plates, leaving the just eleven of you and your drinks around the beautifully carved mahogany table.

Tony watched you from the end of the table, swirling his scotch around in his crystal glass. He felt Steve’s eyes on him, begging him to leave the night as it was; Tony couldn’t do that, he was just sticking to his family’s traditions.

He stood up, the chair legs letting out a distressed screech and held his glass up to gain everyone’s attention.

“I’d like to propose a toast!” He announced, swaying slightly. “Thank you all for coming tonight, I think I speak for all of us when I say it’s been great to get together properly.”

He staggered from his chair and wedged himself between you and Bucky, forcing you apart.

“And my you my dear, we’re all enthralled by the news of your engagement to this grumpy old cat.” He teased, patting Bucky on the shoulder with noticed force.

Laughs erupted around the table from everyone. Even Bucky cracked a smile, his eyes remained firmly on you as Tony spoke.

“Now, I hope you’ll forgive us all but before we can enjoy any more of the night, we’ve got some business to attend to that includes you.”

“Me?” You tore your gaze away from Bucky’s eyes and stared up at Tony with furrowed brows.

Tony nodded his head excitedly, “yes you. You see we’re ecstatic that you want to be a part of this family and we want to welcome you in with open arms.” He pushed himself off the table and circled the back of your chair, creeping slowly back to his own.

Your eyes followed him impatiently, he had you wrapped around his finger, waiting for more.

“But we are a family that has rules, traditions are very important to us and tonight you need to engage in one of said traditions. Think of it as an initiation of sorts.” He smiled wickedly in your direction, his eyes darkening in the most menacing way.

“Would you be so kind as to indulge us, my dear?”

The room seemed to shrink around you, everyone squashed up next to you with their overbearing smiles beating down on you, their eyes filled with manic enthusiasm.

The vultures had begun to circle you, their evil grins armed with missiles, ready to fire straight at you.

Your mind raced at what that could mean for you, you wanted to ask. The words teased your tongue but fear held you back. It felt like the heating had been geared up to two hundred degrees, like the heating was being supplied straight out of hell.

Bucky sensed the panic rising from your pores, he took your hand in his, offering it a gentle squeeze. He leant in and pressed his lips to your forehead, his other hand smoothing over the back of your head.

“It’s gonna be okay, Princess.” He whispered in your ear, the soft vibrations of his voice in your ear settled the rapid beat of your heart.

You took a deep breath, embarrassed by the way your body trembled nervously as you exhaled. You met Bucky’s encouraging eyes, the corners of your lips turning upwards.

“Of course I will.” You replied meekly.

“Wonderful!” Tony clapped his hands excitedly, “Now in the box that my husband has in his hands, holds the name of a game that we’d like to play tonight.”

Steve placed an eloquent but weathered looking, jewellery box in front of you. He kept his eyes fixed ahead, refusing to make any eye contact with you as he paced back to his seat solemnly.

You pulled the lid open, holding your breath as you reached inside, your fingertips brushing against the soft satin lining as you pulled a folded piece of paper out from the bottom of the box.

“Hide and Seek.” You read out loud, peering up from the unfolded paper and looking back around the group.

An inadvertent snicker slipped from Natasha, but Bucky’s fury burnt eyes shot in her direction and her wicked glee died immediately.

“Oh this is going to be so much fun!” Tony sang, “I’m sure this won’t be your first time playing, but we have a few rules to set out.”

You nodded at him, allowing him to continue speaking, “the game begins when the first bell rings throughout the estate and ends when that same bell rings twice.

‘In this game, you will be the one hiding whilst the rest of us try to find you. There will be one member of the family not trying to catch you, they will be allowed to intervene once during the game to assist you, should you need it.

‘Quite simply, don’t get caught and if you do get caught you must try to escape. There are a number of hidden passageways in our home and I’d suggest making use of as many of them as you can.

‘The aim of the game is to ensure you’re not brought back to this room before the game is over. If you’re brought back here, you lose and if you lose you won’t be able to marry Bucky. And that’s it. Those are the rules. Do you accept?”

You mind spun at the vast information you’d received in under a minute, you slumped back in your chair attempting to process everything.

If you lose you won’t be able to marry Bucky.

You were caught on that condition, this game had really high stakes and you stood to lose so much. It didn’t seem fair, having your soulmate potentially ripped away from you over a child’s game.

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, you could play the game and lose or you could bow out and break both of your hearts right now. The section option wasn’t really something you’d ever consider, you had to at least try.

Bucky’s hand slid over your thigh over your dress and gently squeezed your flesh. You must've been quiet for far too long, Bucky was trying to pull you back into reality.

Your eyes flickered from the table to his face, you saw the guilt in his eyes. You watched the way he gulped down a shaky breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing unevenly.

“Whaddya say, Princess?”

“I’ll play,”

“Wonderful!” Tony cried, “A toast then! To the happy couple and a night of fun and games.”

“Cheers!” You downed your drink in one go in the name of dutch courage.

“Buck, why don’t you walk her out to the starting place?” Steve suggested softly.

Tony shot him harsh daggers from across the table. “It’ll give us a bit more time to work out where everyone will be situated for the game.” Steve continued trying to appease his husband.

Bucky sent a curt nod to Steve, standing up from the table, he offered you his hand. He led you out of the room and you stopped short, turning back to face the group before you exited.

“I hope not to see any of you until the game is over.” You chuckled nervously and followed Bucky out of the room.

He led you down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, his hand wrapped around yours in an iron grip. You almost had to run to keep up with his long strides. You entered the clinical looking kitchen, surprised to see it was a complete ghosttown, not a single staff member in sight.

You were truly alone with the family now, you’d agreed to this and there was no turning back. Bucky moved through the kitchen, not stopping for a moment, you had absolutely no idea where he was taking you.

“So… this why you’ve been so quiet and tense all day?” You asked softly, tugging on his hand.

A defeated sigh slipped past his lips as he nodded gently, not bothering to look back at you as he stomped into another hallway.

You were shocked coming out the other side of the kitchen, dust covered the peeling wallpaper, mould collected in pockets and spread out over every surface. The floorboard squelched under your feet, the damp smell stung your nostrils. It was like you’d stepped into another house, no sign of Tony’s signature grandeur style anywhere.

At the end of the hallway you came to an opening in the middle of the wall, where a silver door sat. Bucky opened the door, revealing a rickety looking serving hatch.

“This is probably the best place for you to start.”

“But Bucky, you’ll know where I am.” You chuckled lightly, the angelic sound rippled through the tense air. You spoke with a gentleness he’d never quite been able to replicate himself, it was one of the many reasons he loved you. He was desperate to keep hold of you for as long as possible.

He pulled your body into his, crushing you in his arms and pressed a kiss to your head. You were taken back by the sudden, almost fervent need to hold you, but relaxed into him nonetheless.

His head dipped into the crook of your neck, peppering chaste kisses against your skin. Your eyes fluttered shut as his nose and stubble brushed against the column of your neck. “I have a few rules of my own that I need you to follow.”

“Okay,” you gasped, stretching your neck and exposing more of yourself to him. You could hardly think with his lips moving against your skin, you almost forgot where you were.

“I need you to be vigilant and keep moving. Don’t stay in one place for too long if you can help it.” He pushed your body up against the wall, his lips and teeth trailing along your jawline. “When that bell sounds off, I can’t help you so you’ve got to do your best to stay hidden.”

He pulled back, meeting your doe-eyed expression. “James, you’re going a little overboard, it’s just a game.” You muttered, tucking a stray piece of his hair behind her ear.

“This is very serious, Princess.” He declared, a string of distress seeping into his tone. “You have your knife right?”

“Yeah I have it,” You muttered, placing his hand through the slit in your skirt. His fingertips ran over the leather strap that clung to your bare thigh, he pressed the cold metal blade into your skin. “Right here, just where you told me you want it kept.”

“This the holster I bought you for your birthday?” He asked, the hint of a dark grin dancing over his lips. You nodded slowly, mimicking the smile on his face.

You pulled your lip between your teeth, memories of your birthday weekend flitted through your mind. He had you tied to the bed for hours, wrists and ankles bound to the bedpost. He kept you completely naked except the black leather holster wrapped proudly on your thigh as he ate you out like a starved man.

“Atta girl.” He groaned, his fingers slipped up your leg, teasing the edge of your lace panties. “One more thing, and it’s the most important rule. Stay away from the attic. Can you do that for me, Princess?”

“Yeah I’ll do my best, Buck.” You smiled up at him, you tilted your head upwards, capturing his plump lips. He sighed into your mouth, moving his lips against yours. His hands wrapped around the backs of your thighs and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his torso. You were trapped between the wall and his firm body.

You poured all your emotions into the kiss, hoping he could feel how much love you had for him. This was the most bittersweet kiss you’d ever shared. The possibility of everything ending tonight made you want to make this moment memorable even as it dampened the mood.

“Buck, I need you…” You whined against his lips, grinding your hips into his.

Bucky chuckled against your lips, kneading your ass softly. “We don’t have time, I need you to start moving.” You whispered against your lips, reluctantly dropping you down to the floor again.

His words offered sobriety to your mood, like a train running at full speed, hitting you. “I’m scared I can’t do this.”

“Listen to me, you’re a fighter.” His blue eyes stared into yours. “You’re going to win this, now you need to get going before I change my mind and whisk you away from this madness.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” You laughed as he helped you into the serving hatch. It was incredibly cramped trying to fit through the hole but you managed to get in, squashing the netting of your dress in every available space.

“I love you.” You both spoke at the same time, before offering him a final wave before he shut the door on you.

Bucky lent against the little metal door. His head fell back against the wall with a harsh thud, a sad sigh escaped his lips.

“I’m really sorry, Princess.” He muttered before walking slowly back the way he bought you in.

You sat for a moment, taking in the gravity of the situation once more, before you pulled on the rope and began to descend downwards towards the basement. About halfway down a shrill bell chimed throughout the house, a chill ran down your spin in time with noise.

The game finally begun.

12:23am

Just keep moving.

Those three words circled through your mind, it was your mantra as you descended down into the unknown. You passed two hatch doors that looked identical to the one you crawled into, but something in your gut told you to keep moving downward.

Bucky’s stern rules floated over your head in a thought bubble that troubled your mind. You held your breath the whole way down, your chest sucked in tightly as you anticipated the snap of the ropes tied that held your weight.

You pulled at the rope again and again, a roaring ache buzzed in your arm muscles, your hands were blistering against the rough rope.

You were relieved when you finally pulled the serving tray into its last stop. You pushed against the silver hatch open.

You so desperately wanted to pop your head out first to survey your surroundings. To be vigilant, but the space you were stuffed too far into a really small place. You’d only end up tumbling out and hitting the ground head first.

That would be an awful start to the game.

You stretched your leg out in front of you, legs moving through the space and you shimmed forwards until your tiptoes grazed the floor. You pulled the rest of your body through, your cramped up legs felt like jelly under your weight.

The first thing you noticed was the heat, it was stifling. Damp air attacked your exposed skin, little beads of sweat formed along your hairline.

Your eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, almost blinded by a sea of white bed linen hanging in the air. The washing lines strung out from wall to wall clutching onto the drab, humid walls.

The loud thrash of a hidden washing machine beat savagely against the floor. You jumped back against the wall, startled by the noise and clutched at the sticky walls.

You had turned into a wreck in a matter of moments, your nerves dialled up to ten. A shaky breath expelled from your lungs, your eyes fluttered shut as your heartbeat matched the erratic thump of the washing machine drum.

The familiar sound of expensive Italian soled shoes echoed through the hallway as the machine died down.

Shit.

You threw your body away from the wall, scrambling through the flurry of soft, damp sheets, hiding in the corner of the room. In your panic to hide, you’d left the serving hatch open.

The two sets of steps grew closer, but quieter. The machine chugged and spewed beside you. A fresh wave of hot air blew from the air vent, the sheets billowed around you softly.

You pressed your ear close to the damp cotton as your body quivered in fear and then the room fell completely silent.

The white sheet that shielded you was ripped from the wire line and before you stood Sam, his face offering nothing but dark emotion. You’d only seen this look on his face twice before and both times it was directed at his enemies.

“Hi, Princess.” He spat, a smirk forming on his lips as Bucky’s nickname passed his forked tongue. He stepped towards you, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders. You followed his movement trying to keep a safe distance between your bodies but you were pressed against the wall.

“Sam, I-” You began but the words died before your brain could process them.

“Please, let me go.” You muttered so softly that it almost pierced through his icy heart. “Please, the game’s just started. I can’t lose yet. Please.”

“Oh Bucky was right, you do sound like an angel when you’re begging.” His smirk changed into a sadistic grin, his pearly white teeth bared to you. “Please keep going, I might just show some mercy.”

“You’re an ass.” You muttered, rolling your eyes at him. You pushed yourself off the wall, determined to make a run for it down the hall, but Sam was quicker than you. He anticipated your movements.

His large hand wrapped around your neck and he threw you back against the wall. You were pinned and gasping for air, Sam lifted you off the ground, his face inches from yours.

“I said beg.” He snarled, spit flew venomously over your face.

A string of words and syllables spluttered from your lips and Sam grinned once again. His hand loosened enough allowing a breath of oxygen to return to your lungs, but you remained suspended in the air in his fierce hold.

“You know, I really tried. Tried to be so nice because I just assumed you were one of the many he was using to get over-” his voice wavered, a sharp breath blew through gritted teeth.

His grip tightened around your neck again, he held you so firmly against the wall that were close to breaking through the plaster. “I don’t know how you did it!”

“Did what?” You choked, the lack of oxygen made your head pound. The blood rushing around your body thumped at with uneasy vigour.

“Tricked him into falling in love with you. I don’t know how you did but I know you did!” Sam’s chocolate brown eyes welled up, tears threatened to spill from his eyes. His head bowed, no longer able to keep his eyes on your face. “You must’ve tricked him, because there’s no way you could’ve replaced her so quickly otherwise.”

Confusion clouded your mind, you stopped fighting against him. You were only wasting the little breath you had by trying to pry your neck from his grasp.

“Who?” You pleaded, tears spilled down your cheeks, you mascara running with it.

“He hasn’t told you?” Sam’s eyes widened, his mouth agape. The tidal wave of shock that washed over him ebbed back immediately, a dark grin rested on his lips.

“You see, Princess.” He hissed, “a few years ago, almost exactly, Bucky brought my baby sister to a celebration just like this one. The day after they became engaged, just like you.”

His words echoed in your oxygen starved brain as you tried to make sense of the truth bomb. Bucky had never mentioned being engaged to someone else, let alone it being Sam’s sister.

Sam watched you closely as the information knocked you for six with a weighted blow to your heart. You looked up at him, seeing the enjoyment he got from inflicting pain on your heart.

“So you see, this game is a little bit more personal for me than the others.” He threw your body against the wall again, with more force. The force knocked the final molecules of air from your body and you went limp.

It was too painful to think any more, you allowed the pain to take hold of your body as Sam continued talking at you. “I can’t say I’m that surprised he didn’t tell you. After all, it was his fault that she was killed. I begged him to leave her alone, but what Bucky wants, he gets.”

His hand tapped your heavy, lulling head, “stay with me Princess. Got a few more truths to share with you before I kill you.”

“Sam… Please.” You muttered breathlessly, your hands lazily tried to pull his hand from your neck.

“Aw what a sweet little sound that is. Knew I could get you begging again.” He snarled.

“Sammy! Where did you run off?” Rhoady's voice reverberated throughout the swampy air as he closed in on you and Sam. “Not having all the fun without me, are you?”

The intrusion of Rhoady’s voice snapped Sam’s attention up, pulling him from his murderous rage. His hand dropped from your body and you fell to the floor in a gasping heap. Oxygen burned your lungs like cleaning alcohol trickling down your throat.

Sam turned on his heel, using his thick legs to shield your crumpled body from Rhoady. “Nah, I was just explaining a few things to Sarah’s replacement.”

“Sam, she’s basically passed out.” Rhoady raised his voice and your ears pricked up in hope that you may have some help thrown your way. “You know you can’t kill her in the first hour, Tony will have a fit.”

“I wasn’t going to kill her just yet.” Sam rolled his eyes at the other man, “but I want to be the one that does kill her.”

‘This is meant to be a fun night for the family, it's a bonding experience. A little bit of torture and blood spilled and if the prey dies, oh well. The point is we all get to have our fun.”

Sam stepped forwards towering over Rhoady and bared his teeth. “And I was just in the middle of having my fun until you ruined it.”

“Choking her out in the first hour.” Rhoady drawled with squinted eyes. He didn’t back down or away from Sam’s anger, instead he leant forwards until they were a hair’s breadth apart. “This game wasn’t set up for your revenge fantasy man. I knew Steve shouldn’t have let you be a part of this one.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam seethed, his fists curling in jittery anger.

“We’ve all lost people to this game Sam. It’s not just you. I’m sorry about Sar-”

Sam cut Rhoady’s words off before they fully left his mouth, landing a swift bone crunching punch to his cheek. “Don’t you dare say her name!” He roared as a full on brawl broke out between them and they forgot that you lay on the floor.

Sam lunged forwards, tackling Rhoady by the stomach and launching them backwards through the maze of white linen. Grunts and punches were the only sound that filled the room now.

As long as those noises continued, you had a small window of opportunity to escape.

You had been reduced to a complete mess so easily and had only come up against one person. Your lungs burned, each breath hurt more than the last. The pulse of your blood pumping through your neck ached dully as your head pounded.

It would be so easy to remain here and let them win, but something deep within you told you to get back up. To run whilst you had the chance, you couldn’t miss it.

You pulled yourself up with a heavy sigh and pained breath. Your eyes flickered to where the two men had disappeared amongst the sheets, the sounds of their fighting had slowed but they were still going.

Run!

Your brain screamed at you and you listened, not caring that your heels were incredibly loud against the bare concrete floor. You ran out of the room and down the hallway away from them.

You ran as fast as your feet would take you. The only thing that mattered was to get away from Sam and Rhoady as fast as you could.

Your feet didn’t stop until you reached the end of the long hallway, met with a crossroads. You could go left or right, right took you to the staff quarters, left took you out to the garden.

Your eyes flickered from left to right and then to the left and once more to the right, until you heard their voices approaching the other end of the hall. You checked back over your shoulder, they weren’t in sight yet but you didn’t have long.

“We’re coming to find you, don’t worry Princess.” Sam called out menacingly.

You cast your eyes over the directions one more time before finally turning left towards the gardens. You could only hope that your dress had fallen out of sight before they’d entered the hallway.

For now, that didn’t matter, you just needed to find a new place to hide.

12:47am

The late November air stung your wheezing lungs with each sharp breath you took. Your feet ached more as they pounded against the uneven mud. The dark forest blurred your vision as you ran with determination.

You didn’t have time to focus on where you were headed, the gardens were just as large and extravagant as the house itself. It was terribly easy to get lost when you didn’t know where you were headed to begin with.

Sam’s words echoed through the woods as you sprinted forwards into the unknown.

Bucky had always preferred to keep some of his past private. He’d shared little pieces of his life before you met, but you knew you weren’t privy to everything and you accepted that. You had to earn the right to the family secrets, it was part and parcel of marrying into his lifestyle.

But Sarah seemed like a big and important part to miss out and her name had never been mentioned to you before tonight. It was even worse finding out from Sam as he was trying to kill you.

You were baffled that he could keep something that important from you. It only made you wonder what else he was hiding.

Lost deep within your own thoughts, with your vision completely impaired by the nighttime, you didn't notice the dip in the ground.

It happened so quickly, one moment you were upright and then you were tumbling headfirst, down into the darkness. You had nothing to stop your movement, to slow you down, nothing to reach out and grab onto. You were just falling.

Branches tried their best to grab ahold of you, but instead they kicked and punched your body. Leaves and moss stuck to the bodice of your dress, broken twigs ripped holes through your mesh skirt. Grass and dried mud bloodied your exposed skin.

It was never ending.

When you finally slowed down enough, you held your arms out and clawed at the dirt by your sides until you came to a clumsy stop.

You stopped at a clearing, your back flat against the ground as heavy breaths tore through you. The world above spun around, the bright stars above swirled in your vision. The night had only just begun and you already felt like it could get any worse.

You sighed deeply, pulling yourself up onto your wobbly feet. You dusted the dried mud from your ruined dress and carefully slipped your heels off your feet. They were a lost cause, one heel completely broken and the other was very loose.

You whipped around, surveying the dark area. You couldn’t make out much, but it felt familiar. You’d been to this part of the gardens before, only last time it was lit up but a myriad of fairy lights.

You stepped carefully back into the unwelcoming group of trees. Your ankles were weak underneath you, threatening to give out under your weight. You held onto the bark for support as you surveyed your surroundings. You noticed the tall, perfectly trimmed green hedges in front of you.

You had made it to the curved maze, Tony’s prize possession. It was a hundred metres long, with hedges sitting at eight foot tall. He managed to bring it up in conversation every single time you’d visited the mansion.

You’d only seen it in person once before and Bucky had made sure that you only remembered the blind spots.

He’d kissed you in all the hidden corners he could find, he’d made you cum with his head buried between your legs and your back thrown against the thorny bushes. You were covered in thorn cuts for a week, but it didn’t matter. You hadn’t been able to keep your hands off one another that night, everything was so new and you’d been so sure of one another.

Everything felt so different now as you stared at the opening of the maze. The happy memories that resurfaced were conflicting. The thought of Bucky and the lies he’d told you hurt so much, you felt the crack in your heart.

You stepped towards the entrance with trepidation, holding your breath as you stepped over the threshold slowly.

You treaded carefully against the cold, damp soil, you ran your fingers along the sharp hedges. You were hoping to find that one spot that you’d shared with Bucky, but you were working on memory alone and your head still felt dizzy.

You hit a number of deadends, winding through the curvy hedges with deteriorating focus. The cold air wrapped you in a blanket of ice, your irritated skin felt hot to touch.

You were stuck, going round in circles but never getting closer to the middle or the exit. You had definitely hit the same dead end at least three times. You were completely losing hope.

“Fuck!” You huffed, throwing yourself back against the shrubbery and falling into a small hidden crack in between the thicket. It was a total accident but you’d found it.

You knew by the way your body slotted into the space so easily, it was perfect. You remembered thinking that last time.

You knew you couldn’t stay here too long, if someone didn’t find you, the elements would get to you instead. Wind whipped through the maze, carrying the sounds of a melodic laugh to your ears.

Heavy footsteps stomped against the ground from the other side of the hedges. You inhaled sharply, your heart stopping. You peered carefully through the cracks in your green armour.

“Brother, we’ve been out here for an hour, if she were to venture this far out of the house don’t you think we would have seen her by now.” Thor reasoned, standing in front of your hidden figure.

“I thought you liked a challenge?” Loki mocked, bumping his brother’s shoulder softly and pushing him towards your hiding place. Your hand flew up covering your mouth and stopping any sounds from slipping through.

“Standing out in the cold all night isn’t a challenge, it’s boring.” Thor growled, his cold fists curled up angrily. “We could be inside with the others chasing the girl down.”

Loki stood facing his brother, offering a challenging look, but remained silent. It was too quiet, at least when they were speaking they weren’t listening out for you.

“And how do you know she’s definitely not out here?” A half smile appeared on Loki’s face, it was so dark you almost believed you imagined it.

A lump formed in your throat, it was difficult to breathe. He couldn’t possibly know where you were hiding, he couldn’t. Could he?

You’d been completely alone when you entered the maze. Hadn’t you?

His mischievous question made you uncertain about everything; it was exactly what he wanted. You’d heard the rumblings of Loki’s torturous ways, he loved to use is victim’s mind against them, pratically got off on it.

Thor and Loki scared you more than other members of the family, especially now you knew this wasn’t a mere child’s game.

You understood why Sam was involved in this, he was fuelled by rage and revenge. The brothers had no real stake in this game, they were here purely for the fun of the game and you weren’t exactly chomping at the bit to find out what they had in store for you.

Thor rolled his eyes, gesturing around him childishly, “we’ve been out here for an hour with no sign of her.”

Thor kicked at the ground, kicking his foot against Loki’s emerald green cane and knocking it from his hand.

An involuntary gasp slipped from your covered lips as the cane flew in the direction of the hedge. You weren’t certain how loud you’d been, you could only hope your hand provided enough sound proofing.

You stepped back away from the bushes, attempting to put a safer distance between you and them, but a leaf crunched under your bare feet.

You continued backward, your eyes glued to Loki’s face as he bent down to pick up his cane with an unmissable smirk resting on his lips. He stopped when he was at your eye level, searching for his prey through the gaps in the hedges.

You were staring right at one another, the dark glint in his light eyes told you he could see you.

“What is it Loki? What do you see?”

“Oh nothing.” He purred in response, breaking eye contact with you and straightening his back up slowly. “Just a little bird moving amongst the bushes.”

Your shoulders sagged with relief, maybe it was all in your head. “But I think it’d be prudent to give the maze a once over before heading back inside.”

Your breathing stuttered through the gaps in your fingertips. You didn’t wait to hear Thor’s response, jumping out of the hiding space, you retraced your steps from earlier avoiding the way back to the entrance as best as you could.

You turned left and ran down a winding pathway, then left again and ran down an identical curved path. You took a right halfway through that row, but it led to a dead end.

You were even more lost than before, only this time you were being hunted by two ruthless men. The air grew eerily quiet, nothing could be heard for miles, except the sound of your soft pants.

You poked your head out between the opening in the path, relieved to find it was still empty.

You followed the path to the end and took yet another left, it was the only option. You walked slower, back up in the direction you’d come from minutes ago, everything looked identical. It was impossible to know where you were.

At the end of the dirt track, you turned right and then left only to find another dead end. You stopped at the end, closing your eyes in defeat, your head dropped sullenly, you were never going to get out of this.

“It seems like you may be lost, little bird.” A dark, seductive voice called from behind you, your heart stopped. “Would you like some directions?”

“I’m okay actually.” You tried to think of a way out of this one, but there was none.

A merry laugh erupted from behind you, “silly girl, it wasn’t a question.”

Thor’s heavy footsteps charged towards you with Loki’s cane in his hand as you turned to face them. With a swift swing of his bulky arm, the cane collided with the side of your face. The sheer force of the hit knocked you unconscious. Loki caught your limp body in his arms.

“You oaf!” He seethed at his brother, “You nearly killed her! You could've ruined the fun completely.”

“Oh she’ll be fine.”

“Hand me my cane.” Loki sent him a glare.

Loki lowered your body to the floor with unusual care, resting you against the ground. He opened the gold crowned head of his staff and pulled a small vial of clear liquid out. He pinched your cold cheeks between his fingertips, parting your limp lips and poured the liquid down your throat.

“Pick her up, we’ve got work to do before she wakes up.” He ordered his brother, sauntering off towards the exit.

X———————————————————————————X

The soft sounds of the birds cooing their young to sleep was almost enough to trick you into believing you were safe.

The unforgiving breeze encased your body like an icy glove and shocked your brain back into consciousness. Your eyelids were heavy, hardly opened as your head lulled deliriously.

A razor-sharp pain seared through your head, your cheek throbbed. The pressure in your head was intense, the pain increased with each beat of your heart.

“It’s time to wake up, little bird.” Loki spoke sweetly, inches away from your face. Pieces of the night floated back to you in fragments; the maze, falling down, dinner with Bucky’s family, the initiation.

Oh no.

Your eyes finally open, your vision completely blurred. Lights on the ground below flooded the blur, a swarm of different colours formed hazy silhouettes before you. The figure of the person standing before you was the clearest thing you could make out.

Instinctively you tried to reach out and see with your fingertips, but your hands were constricted. Thick brown ropes encased your wrists and held them above your head. You were hanging in the air, failing helplessly, your arms burned from the stretch and tingled from the lack of blood pumping around them.

“Ahh she’s awake!” The same sultry voice called, “don’t worry little bird, your vision will return just a minor side effect of the drugs.”

“The what?!”

“I fear that my dear brother may have hit you a little too hard and mixed with the DMT, you may experience some hallucinations.” He continued speaking, ignoring your alarm. “But don’t worry, we’re right here to get you through it, little bird.” His thumb caressed your sore cheek carefully, it was almost as if he cared.

“You may even be feeling the effects up until the moment we kill you.” He pressed his nose against the base of your neck, breathing in your scent. Your hazy mind screamed for Bucky, this wasn’t him. Bucky wasn’t coming to save you, you had to save yourself.

The closeness of his mouth to your body made your stomach churn, a shiver rippled over your body violently. “Stop. Please.” You choked, turning your face away from him, it was useless.

You thrashed your body against the ropes and kicked your legs out at the man.

“Feisty little thing aren’t you?” He caught your ankle, chuckling menacingly. “Barnes is a lucky, lucky man. Well he was.”

The world came into focus rather suddenly, the colours still distorted from the drug. Loki’s face formed angelically before you, painted with flecks of green, gold and blue.

Your eyes flickered frantically around, taking in the rainbow coloured ruins you dangled in. You’d never seen this part of the estate before, it could have been a different property for all you knew. It was worlds away from Tony’s current style.

It looked like this used to be a house, but the white bricks were crumbling like limestone in rain, moss and ivy covered the walls that were still standing.

Even in its current state it was enchanting to look at, shame about the circumstances.

You tilted your head backwards, glancing up at the tree you were tied to. It was majestic looking, its branches spanned as high and as far as your eyes could see. It hugged the ruins like a protector, casting a reddish hue over the white stones.

Loki watched you with quiet admiration as you drank in the beautiful ruins of his parent’s resting place. He was perfectly content allowing you a moment of peace before he released his unrelenting wrath onto you.

Thor on the other hand was far more impatient, he strutted over you with purpose, a brutal smugness etched into his features.

You looked away from the tree, eyes flitting from one smirk to the other and scoffed loudly. “What’s the deal here then? The brains of the operation is the good cop and the brawn is the bad cop?”

“Careful girl. I won’t hesitate to slit your throat and leave your body to paint the fallen leaves with your spilled blood.” He spat at you angrily. “By the time Barnes’ finds you, the bugs will be festering off your flesh.”

It was a sobering comment, any fight in your body subdued by the mental image of Bucky finding you out here dead.

Your eyes searched for any sign of jest in him, but there was only cold blooded murder screaming from his dilated pupils. It was no joke, that could be your reality if you didn’t find a way to break free.

“Leaving her to be discovered the same way as the last one.” Loki’s laugh cut through the thick air, his long fingers wrapped around his brother’s shoulder and pulled him away from you. “Now that really would be evil, brother. I must say I’m impressed.”

“You’re not going to kill me.” The words came out of your mouth before your brain could stop them. It wasn't true, they’d kill you without hesitation if you pushed your luck too hard, but you were determined to remain calm and collected, on the outside at least. They wanted a scared little girl, they weren’t going to get it.

“And why is that?” Loki raised a questioning eyebrow at you.

“You’re Thor and Loki, your reputation precedes you. You’re not killers, you’re torturers.” The brothers shared a look, wickedness travelled between four eyes, no words exchanged. You’d hit the nail on the head.

“She’s a smart one, I like her.” Loki smiled, looking directly at you as he spoke to Thor.

“If by some miracle you survive tonight, we shall have a drink together.” Thor grinned, pointing at you.

The wind blew by you gently, the whole world surrounding you warped. The wind resembled water but you remained dry, dust from the ruins swirled around like specks of glitter glistening in the air waves.

You were so enthralled by the world that you barely noticed the moonlight bouncing off of a silver object pulled from Thor’s jacket pocket. He threw a large silver dagger through the air in your direction, cutting through the waves as it hurtled towards you.

Everything slowed down, you saw the knife too late. Your gasp seemed to suck up all the air around you as the cool blade skimmed your face. It sliced your unmarked cheek smoothly.

You breathed out sharply, hissing at the sharp contact. You tried to push down the pain that rose to your surface, but it was all too sudden.

“You missed.” You sneered, cold beads of blood trickled down from your cheek into your mouth, the metallic taste soured on your tongue.

Your words cut Thor as deeply as he’d cut your cheek. He stomped toward you in a fit of rage, his fist curled tightly and landed a gut wrenching blow to your stomach. You felt your ribs shake and threaten to shatter as the punch rippled through your insides like a tsunami.

“Clearly you don’t… like girls that talk b-back.” You wheezed, the wind had been stolen from your lungs.

His face was bright red with anger, he raised his fist again and pulled it back, but Loki’s voice stopped him. “That’s enough, get the other knives.”

Your head drooped sluggishly as Thor retreated but Loki stepped into your vision, smiling at you. ”We’re going to play a little game, little bird.”

He wandered towards you, pulling a gold tipped dagger from inside his long green coat. He ran the tip along the base of your neck. He tipped your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. “I’m going to tell you the tale of how the tree you’re tied to came to be, all you’ll need to do is listen and avoid Thor’s knives.”

He traced the pointed edge along your jawline, up to tickle your earlobe and nicked your neck right beneath your ear.

“Oops,” he hummed, running his tongue along his bottom lip, his face offering no signs of sincerity. Loki ran the blade along your neck, over the curve of your shoulder and it hooked under your spaghetti strap. He pulled the knife backward, slicing through the fabric.

He pressed the knife into your shoulder, cutting you deeply. Your jaw tightened, but your eyes remained firmly on his, determined not to show him an ounce of your discomfort.

In your peripheral vision, Thor was juggling three blurred blobs. The sharp blades tore through layer after colourful layer of the air. Loki stepped back, as Thor stepped forwards, still juggling his knives.

You watched as he gauged his aim, squinting his eyes, he held the knife in your direction. He launched the knife straight in your direction just as he had with the first one.

Fear gripped your body, frozen like a statue while the first knife flew at you. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, could barely keep your eyes open. It missed for the most part, tearing a hole through your tulle skirt.

You studied Thor’s smirk, it was no accident that you remained unscathed. That was the foreplay.

Nostalgia fed Loki’s presence as he opened his mouth to speak, a distant longing in his eyes. “Many moons ago, before Thor or myself were born, our mother planted this very tree on the Stark estate.

‘It was only meant to grow twenty feet high, but there must’ve been some of our mother’s personal magic planted with it.

‘She had an affinity for nature you see, it was a joke among the old families that if she were to touch a dying plant it would repair itself overnight. No one could explain it, it was just magic.

‘The tree grew in every way possible, to this day it’s the largest tree on this estate. Our mother named this tree Yggdrasil, after the Norse tree of life. The mythological tree was a mighty ash, it was beautiful, perfect and by far the largest of all trees in the nine realms.”

Your eyes were trained on Thor as Loki recounted his tale. The blonde haired man readied his next knife, teasing you with a few pretend throws. Your fingers wrapped around the ropes holding your weight steady, ready for him to strike.

Loki paused as Thor threw the second knife, you pulled your body up, flinging your weight left as the knife went right.

The fall back down was so slow and yet the pain came on so quickly. A loud click rippled through the air as your limp body landed back in your original place. A cry escaped your lips, the rope pulling on your shoulder. You were certain you’d dislocated it.

Tears sprang from your eyes involuntarily as you groaned through the pain. Though your vision was blurred once again from tears that streamed from your eyes, you could see the satisfaction radiating off their bodies; you’d played into their hands perfectly, hurt yourself worse before either of them had had the chance to.

Loki paced behind his brother, continuing his story, “the tops of Yggdrasil's branches grew way above the sky, the roots deep into the underworld. It was even more fitting to have named this tree as such, because its roots grew so deep that it ruined the structural integrity of the quarters you stand in, well hover over. This building was brought to its knees because of the strength of this tree; bit of poetic justice for man versus nature.

‘The namesake tree was named the God's gallows because Odin hung himself on its branches so that he could become the all father. It’s where our father killed himself after the tragic death of our mother. He believed that if he died near one of her treasures he’d be reunited with her in the next life.”

Thor lined up his final knife and your head lulled desperately, you didn’t have the strength to move yourself again and the excruciating pain searing through your dislocated shoulder was the only thing you could truly focus on.

He launched the final knife, aiming straight for your stomach. Though it took your last ounce of energy you pulled your legs up to your stomach to protect your internal organs.

The metal blade sliced deeply into your ankle, cutting much deeper than any of the other lacerations you’d endured, but at least your stomach was intact. Blood spilled from the wound instantly as the knife clattered to the floor.

“Wh-w-why a-are you telling me all of this?” You trembled painfully, struggling to get your words out.

Loki glared at you intensely, watching as you struggled to hide the amount of pain you were in. He sauntered towards you, never taking his eyes off you, “well my Dear, Yggdrasil was known as the tree that connected all life forms for the vikings, but for our families it represents nothing but death.

‘And if I’m being honest, I have a tiny flair for the dramatic and just wanted to have you on the edge of your seat for the very moment I take your life.”

He raised his hand, his knife ready to strike you in the heart, just as a loud set of whistles tore through the silent air. His movements stilled instantly and all three of you looked up to the sky as four blood red fireworks exploded in the sky.

“Go and check on that.” Loki ordered Thor, nodding in the direction of the fireworks as another set went off. “And just when I was about to have my fun.” He muttered to himself more than to you.

Three whizzing fireworks went off in a different direction, much closer to the setting of your torture. These ones pulled Loki’s attention from you completely as he began to survey the darkness.

You did the same, noticing a shadow flicker behind the trees, closing in on you and Loki.

The excitement of the loud fireworks stopped abruptly and silence fell over the air. You could only hear your ragged breathing in the quiet, as you waited.

The sound of a gunshot rippled through the air in Loki’s direction, cutting the air in half; a howl erupted from his chest. The figure in the trees fumbled to their feet and ran towards you.

It was Peter.

A wild, worried look was etched into his features as he scanned your body. “Wow, that gun was a lot heavier than I expected. ” He muttered wildly, “I’m gonna get you down okay, just need to work out how.”

“Quickly.” You agreed. “Please!”

Loki cleared his throat from behind Peter, grabbing your attention. He was resting up against the ruined wall, a trail of blood on the floor from where he’d dragged his body.

Peter had managed to shoot him in the leg. You were sure it was a total accident and not where he was aiming at all, but he’d taken Loki out enough so that you could be freed.

“Have to say Parker, I’m impressed.” Loki sneered as he drew his knife from his pocket once more. You tensed, ready for the final strike, but it never came.

Instead he cut a long strip of cloth from his emerald coat and carefully wrapped it round his leg. “Honestly, didn’t think you had it in you to save her.”

Peter ignored Loki’s snarky comments as he followed the rope that held you in the air, finding the end tied around another tree.

“I’m gonna cut the rope okay, but I promise I’ll catch the rope before you fall.” Peter called out to you, you weren’t convinced he was going to catch you, but you had no choice but to believe him.

Peter sawed through the rope at an agonisingly slow pace until it finally snapped. You were falling fast but true to his word, Peter caught the rope before you hit the ground and lowered you down slowly.

“Whoa, I can’t believe I actually caught you in time!” Peter raced back over to you, “Are you okay?”

You searched his face frantically, checking for any signs of malice but you couldn’t find any. You pulled him into a bone crushing hug, “thank you.” You muttered, a few stray tears rolled over your cheeks.

“Just doing my job.” He hugged you back, rubbing his hands over your bare, ice cold arms carefully. “We gotta get you to a good hiding place.”

“If I may…” Loki interjected, “did you kill my brother? Just need to check whether I have to go to war with Stark after tonight or not.”

“I trapped him in a rope snare a couple yards west, he was still very much alive when I ran over here.” He replied, still holding onto you.

“C’mon, we need to go.” He urged, pulling you away from the ruins and back towards the mansion. Pure adrenaline surged for your veins, you couldn’t feel any of your injuries that you’d raked up.

“I thought it may be too early to intervene, but when I saw that they’d tied you up, I didn’t see a way for you to get out there on your own.”

‘Once we get back to the mansion you’ll be on your own for the night. I won’t be able to help again but you’ve faced the worst of them now.” You remained silent as Peter spoke, barely registering his words.

Peter let go of your wrist, stomping on ahead towards the house, but as it came into view fear struck your body, you couldn’t move. You weren’t going back in there.

You lent up against a tree, frozen in place as all your senses kicked back in. Your body burned in agony. Peter had walked another twenty metres ahead of you, muttering to himself quietly before he realised you were nowhere to be seen.

He ran back in your direction, “we gotta keep moving, it’s not safe out here for you.”

“I can’t… can’t go back in. My an-nkle.” You pointed down at your bleeding wound.

“Shit, I didn’t notice that before, Bucky’s gonna kill me.” Fear crept into his voice as he tried to remain calm for your sake. “Kay, I’m gonna rip some of your skirt and tie it round your ankle. That okay?”

You nodded frantically, your mouth unable to force any words past your lips. Peter pulled a small pocket knife from his pocket and cut through some of the tulle.

He gingerly wrapped the material round your ankle and tied it as tightly as he could. He mumbled an apology when you winced and grunted, fighting the urge to cry out in agony.

“You need to hide, we need to get you inside.”

“I can’t, I just wanna go home.” You cried quietly, falling back against the stump of the tree. “I can’t do this, i-i never asked for this. I just need to go to bed.”

“You’re gonna be okay.” Peter grabbed your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “I know it’s scary, you just get thrown into this shit without any warning. But I survived it and so can you.”

“I know it’s terrifying, but Bucky wouldn’t have asked you to marry him and brought you here tonight if he didn’t think you couldn’t handle it.” He encouraged, “you can do this.”

You laughed quietly at his words, wiping away your tears. The thought of Bucky at the moment brought conflicting feelings, you were dying to see him to have him comfort you but at the same time you were so incredibly angry with him.

You didn’t have time to work through that right now, the alarm in Peter’s features told you you were on borrowed time.

“Okay.” You breathed.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I can do this.” You whispered quietly, encouraging yourself.

“Yes you can, now let’s go.” He wrapped his clammy fingertips around yours, making sure you stayed with him this time as he walked towards the dining room.

Peter pressed his forehead against the window pane of the dining room, he pushed the window open and poked his head into the room checking for signs of life.

“The coast is clear, I’m gonna give you a boost inside. Make sure you use the foot that’s not injured, you won’t be able to push off that one.”

You nodded, placing your dirty foot into his hands. You pushed off the ground as he lifted you off the ground with ease and pushed you up to the height of the window.

You grasped onto the window seal, your skirt engulfed Peter’s face, blinding him completely and he wobbled, falling backwards just as you pulled yourself into the room.

He followed your actions, pulling himself into the room, “sorry, your skirt got in the way and I lost my footing.”

“S’okay.”

He led you over to the bookcase in the far corner of the room, pulling it forwards and revealing a small compartment door. “Here’s your ticket to survival, there’s a tunnel system throughout the house. You should be able to hide in here for the rest of the night.”

A sweat broke out over your body as your teeth chattered slowly. “Thank you for all your help Peter.” You breathed shakily, pulling him into another tight hug before crawling into the tight tunnel.

“Good luck.” He replied, closing the door behind you and leaving you in the dark.

2:36am

The further you crawled through the tunnel the hotter you grew, but you felt colder, uncomfortable goosebumps rested on your skin.

This tunnel was a living nightmare filled with God knows what, dust flew down your windpipe and clogged your lungs with each break you took.

The hallucinations from the drugs had finally stopped so at least the darkness remained dark. However, your head still felt light and fuzzy and you knew you weren’t fully sober yet.

It was near impossible to pull your body up properly with one working arm. In the panic and rush to get in the crawl space, you had forgotten to ask Peter to reset your shoulder.

Your body was throbbing in time with your heartbeat, you could only pray that this night was almost over. You were already dreaming of the moment the second bell chimes and this whole night is over.

Despite your better judgement, you desperately wanted Bucky. You wanted him to wrap you up in his big protective arms and hold you till you fell asleep.

You were kidding yourself of course, you were ready to kill him after what he had thrown you into tonight. You were a mouse in a lion’s den.

You were crawling closer to a small light up ahead. The light was an unwelcome intrusion on your eyes, but it at least helped you see what was ahead.

After ten minutes of crawling upwards, you came to a crossroads in the tunnels. You were filled with a choice, you could go left, right or up.

Peter had mentioned you could get around the majority of the house using the tunnel system, but you hadn’t expected so much choice along the way.

You took a moment to catch your breath, a searing pain shot down your abdomen. You inspected all three ways, using the limited light to gauge which way would work better for you.

Going sideways made the most sense for your aching body, you’d been pulling yourself up for ten minutes and you were completely exhausted. There was also a very large cobweb covering the tunnel that went up. Of course you’d been through worse tonight than spiders, but that wasn’t really the point.

You curled your body round the tunnel, groaning as you moved to the right. Once you’d made it so you were moving that it was easier, slowly you crawled towards a light up ahead. At the end of the tunnel was an opened hatch, similar to the one you’d crawled into down in the dining room.

You peaked through the open door, checking to make sure the room on the other side was unoccupied.

The office you had found was decorated with ruby red wallpaper, with gold trimming. In front of you was a brown stained mahogany desk, on it sat an antique green oil lamp and gold framed photograph of Tony and Steve on their wedding day.

They weren’t looking at the camera, instead staring long into one another's eyes, smiles splitting their cheeks. Bucky and Sam stood at Steve’s side, with Rhoady beside Tony. Everyone looked so happy in the photo, you couldn’t help but smile.

Muffled voices rumbled outside the office and you scrambled to pull the hatch door back to its original place. The door swung open with force, crashing into the wall unapologetically.

“What's the real issue here Stevie? Because the door to my office isn’t the problem.” Tony mocked his husband, as he sauntered into his office behind Steve.

“I just think showboating your torture devices to the Nat and Wanda seems a little distasteful. This is a hard night for so many people, why do you need to act like this?”

“Ahh ha!” Tony’s loud exclamation tensed your muscles more. “So this is about Barnes.”

“And just how did you come to that conclusion?”

“Because it’s always about him.”

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

They continued to argue like children, shooting silly remarks back and forth. You held a scoff in, it made sense that they’d turned a child’s game into a potential homicide scene when they acted like this.

“This is about how barbaric this game gets. It grows more and more sadistic each time.” Steve pointed out, stopping the childish back and forth.

“Well, you didn’t seem too bothered about sadism, when you were mercilessly torturing Peter Parker…” Tony paused allowing Steve to interject but he remained silent, the air between them soured further. “So as I said, it’s about Barnes.”

“Don’t you think he’s been through enough?” Steve bellowed, “I had to deal with the aftermath of Sarah’s death, not You. I don’t think he’ll survive if she dies too!”

Tony slammed his fist onto the mahogany, “This is the only way to know she’s right for the family, it's the way it’s always worked. My father explained that to you years ago after your graduation night.”

Dust particles crept up your nose and you felt a sneeze building in your nose, but you held your fingers over your nose.

“Can you smell that?” Tony asked, sniffing around the room. Your eyes widened as you inched backwards, careful not to breathe too loud.

“What?” Steve asked.

“Sweet scents of vanilla and cherry blossom.” Tony paused, “our innocent little victim has been in my office.” Sinisticicm dripped from his lips, but you didn’t care to listen anymore, you were back at the crossroads.

You didn’t have time to think and went right, through the giant sticky cobweb and pulled your body upwards. You heard the hatch door creak open and Tony popped his head in to find that tunnel clean of dust. Clear evidence that you’d been there recently.

A glimmer of white fabric shone from the crossroad and he smiled to himself. “Looks like Barnes may be the one to end it all for his precious little princess anyway…” He muttered to himself, trying not to cackle evilly.

“What was that?” Steve asked, trying to hide his disdain towards his husband.

“I said, I’m going to head down to the dining room and wait for her to return. You coming with me?”

Steve shook his head, barely able to spare Tony a glance as he continued to mull over the night, worried for his best friend. “I need a breather, I'll be down shortly.” He replied, they both knew full well he was lying, he had no intention of joining in tonight.

3:10am

You threw your hands up helplessly, wheezing harshly, “wait… Bucky, p-please stop.” His hard shell faltered completely upon hearing the gentle way your voice broke. His blue eyes scanned over your battered and bruised body and he gritted his teeth, knowing this was all his fault.

It was the exhausted look on your face that truly broke him. He knew he couldn’t hurt you, when you’d clearly suffered so much tonight already.

He rushed towards you, ready to pull you into his arms but as soon as he got close enough, you raised your hand and slapped him full force across his cheek.

He grunted as your hand connected with his face. “That’s for letting me walk into this shitshow of a night, without so much as a hint of what was happening!”

He held his cheek, watching as you raised your other hand to him but he caught your wrist with his vibranium fingertips, stopping you hitting him again.

“You had one free slap Princess, you don’t get another.” He warned, holding you in place as he began to check over your wounds.

He knew from the slices on your skin that you’d been caught by Thor and Loki, they loved using knives. All of the wounds had stopped bleeding, except the one on your foot, you had bled through the thin material and it had been irritating the wound since Peter had tied it up.

“I’m gonna let you go so I can wrap that up properly,” he pointed down at your ankle. “No slapping.” He ordered, releasing your arm.

Slowly he undid the buttons on his white shirt, revealing his toned stomach. Your eyes flickered from his face to his chest and visibly gulped down the drool that threatened to spill from your mouth.

You tried to keep your face neutral, but you weren’t doing a very good job. “Like what you see, Princess?” He smirked, forcing your gaze back up to his smirking face.

“Fuck you.”

“That could be arranged.” He grinned, shrugging his shirt off and pulling his knife from his pocket. He cut through the fabric, cutting off the sleeve of the shirt.

He pushed your body backwards against the wall and dropped to his knees before you. He lifted your ankle from the ground and rested your foot on his thigh. He dipped his head down and pressed his lips against your soft, cold skin.

Your eyes fluttered closed as the sensation, it was heavenly having him on him after such a brutal night on your body.

He carefully unwrapped the material, whispering a soft, “I know baby, I’m sorry,” when you cried out, the material rubbing against the wound uncomfortably.

He wrapped his shirt sleeve around the wound, he tied it tighter than Peter had previously but the pressure felt good on the wound. He pressed another gentle kiss to your leg before standing before you.

He noticed the limp way your shoulder hung from the socket. “Going to need to reset your arm, okay?”

You knew it was coming, you were planning on doing it yourself when you’d found your next hiding place. It was probably easier this way, but it didn’t stop your stomach from dropping harshly, bile rising in your throat. You closed your eyes, releasing a shaky breath, nodding to him.

He wrapped both his hands around your wrist and slowly lifted your arm straight up to your chest.

Bucky studied your face, as your breathing evened out, he admired your beauty under all the mud and dust covering your body. He admired the tenacity you’d shown in the hours you had fought for your life and he was incredibly turned on by that fiery look that burned in your eyes when you slapped him.

You waited an eternity for him to guide your arm backwards into its socket. “On three, one-”

He didn’t count further, moving your arm back immediately and guiding the ball of your arm back into the shoulder socket.

“-two, three.”

“Fuck.” It was one of the worst pain’s you’d experienced all night, but at least you weren’t carrying dead weight anymore. “You’ve got some explaining to do Barnes.” You muttered, pulling your arm away and slowly rolling your shoulder back and forth.

Bucky sighed, hanging his head in shame, he wandered over to the attic window and looked out into the gardens.

“You want a drink?” He asked, not waiting for a response. Instead he poured out two glasses of Tony’s top shelf Scotch. He offered one of the glasses to you.

You stepped towards him, gingerly grabbing the glass from him and inhaled the flavour. You raised it to your lips, but stopped right as the liquid met your lips. “You haven’t spiked this right?”

Bucky laughed, falling back against the window and knocked back his whole glass in one go. “No princess, I’ve not spiked you.”

“Can’t blame me for checking.” You muttered, sipping on the brown liquor.

He allowed another beat to pass before finally opening his mouth to speak, walking back over to you. “I wasn’t allowed to warn you about tonight, believe me-”

“Who’s Sarah?”

You watched as the colour drained from his face. “Where did you hear that name?”

“Well, let’s see shall we? Sam dropped her name a few times, whilst he had his hands wrapped around my neck. He was trying to avenge the death of his baby sister.

‘Oh, and Thor mentioned her name in passing when he threatened to kill me in the same way she died.

“Steve let her name slip once too. So I suggest you start talking.” You poked your finger into his chest, pushing him backwards.

Anger bubbled and boiled inside of you, you were barely containing it. Hours of torture had led to this moment, you weren’t going to let Bucky off the hook no matter how good he looked without his shirt on.

Bucky moved towards you again, an apology teasing his tongue. You pulled your knife from its leather holster and held it to his neck. You dropped the glass of Scotch to the floor, the glass clattered against the floorboards, splashes of liquid clung to your bare legs.

“Still have the knife I gave you, I see.” He growled, a smirk teetering on his mouth. Pride swelled in his chest, he may not have been able to prepare you for the night by being honest, but you’d been listening to him.

The feel of the cool blade against his hot neck made his head spin. His chest tightened with anticipation, as his suit trousers grew tighter at the sight of you.

You looked powerful and sexy, despite your dishevelled appearance.

The metal blade dug harshly into his skin as he swallowed a breath, threatening to pierce his skin. “I’m sorry for not telling you about Sarah, it was wrong to leave you in the dark about her.

“I didn't have the words to speak them out loud to you, it was too hard. I still don’t have the words, but I’m gonna try because you deserve that.” His eyes fluttered shut, a soft sigh falling from his lips.

‘Sarah and I were together for a year before I asked her to marry me. Sam had graduated a few years before and when I started dating his sister he wasn’t happy. When I got down on one knee, he begged me to call it off.

‘He didn’t think she had what it took to make it through the night, she was a soft soul unlike him. He didn’t want her to go through this whole night.

‘I understood it, but I was too wrapped up in my infatuation to bow out. I was selfish, even though I have participated in twelve graduation nights. I know how awful things can get.

‘I wish I could go back in time and take it all back, because I lost so much that night. I lost my fiance and my best friend all in one night, the rug was pulled out from under me and it was all my fault.

‘I was sent hurtling down a rabbit hole that I didn’t ever think I was going to crawl out from. It was the darkest time in my life, I drank myself into a stupor. I drank myself sober on most days. I did some pretty awful things during that time, I look back on that now and I’m disgusted with myself.

‘And then, on a rare occasion that I wasn’t drunk as a skunk, I met you at that shitty little diner. You were a beacon of light that shone over me, it was the first breath of fresh air I’d breathed in a long time.

‘You sat down at my table with two cups of coffee and told me to drink up Buttercup. You noticed my dark cloud when you walked in and decided to try and brighten my day. Believe me it worked.

“You met me at that diner every day for a week, you never expected me to speak. We sat quietly, drank that burnt tasting coffee, ate the shitty food and just sat there. It was a kindness I have never experienced before.

‘By the seventh day we finally spoke, I heard your angelic voice and knew right there that I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to hear you speak again.

‘The more time we spent together, the smaller the loss felt. I still miss her every day, but it’s manageable now. I should have told you, but you never asked me to speak about the past and it was too hard to get the words out. So I didn’t tell you.

‘I was wrong about that and I’m so sorry.”

The knife remained wedged against his throat the whole time he spoke, but he barely noticed it. Too busy taking his stroll down memory lane, tears welled in his eyes as his voice broke unevenly,“I’m really fucking sorry. Please…”

Your heart broke at the story. That kind of pain under usual circumstances was difficult, but in Bucky’s case it was so much more unbearable because his family had a hand in his misery.

However, he’d still kept this from you. You were meant to marry this man and he’d left you in the dark. He allowed you to walk into this night with nothing except his love to protect you and you’d nearly died twice.

“That was a nice little story and if you’d told me this a year ago I would've understood. It's just too little, too late.” As difficult as it was, you resolve hardened. “So give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you.”

“Oh Princess, you’re not going to kill me. You wouldn’t be able to go through with it.” Bucky’s eyes darkened, a charred laugh erupted from his chest. “I can see through this little act y’know.”

You narrowed your eyes, involuntarily puffing your chest to display your anger. Bucky smirked down at you like he knew something you didn’t. “I can see that you’re trying to be angry and it’s adorable, really it is. But I would bet my left arm that you’re soaking those gorgeous little lace panties you’re wearing.”

You gasped quietly, “You’re despicable.”

He lurched forward, forcing the knife into his own skin but he didn’t even flinch. You eyes flickered from his face to the wound, you watched as blood trickled from slowly down the base of his neck.

Slick pooled in your panties, soaking the thin material in a way that made you curse him for being right. His hand slipped through the slit of your dress, easing his fingers between your trembling thighs and swiping along your lace covered folds. Your lips quivered at his touch, your eyes fluttered shut.

“‘M not wrong though.” He muttered, pushing your panties to the side and gathering your slick between his thick digits.

An involuntary whimper fell from your lips as his fingers grazed over the hood of your clit. Your hips followed his hand, chasing more of his touch and he crashed his lips into yours.

Your mouths moved in sync with each other desperately as you poured everything you craved into the kiss. You took his lip between your teeth and bit down harshly, tugging his mouth open roughly to slip your tongue into his mouth.

His fingertips continued to tease at your clit but he never quite gave you what you were craving. You knew it was on purpose, he was trying to get you to beg for him. Any other day you would have, but not today.

His lips left yours, trailing along your jaw and down your neck. He lips covered the shell of your ear, nipping at your earlobe gently, his breath filled your ear and intoxicated your brain.

“I bet you’re just aching to lap up the blood trickling down my neck.” He hummed into your ear. “Go on Princess, be a good girl and clean up my mess.”

Your head spun at his words, you smiled wickedly as he pulled back and waited. You tipped his chin upwards with the edge of the knife, revealing the bleeding wound once again.

You stepped close to him, kissing gently along his jawline, his stubble scratched against your lips. Your tongue swirled over the wet wound, lapping up the crimson metallic liquid.

You brought your lips back to his, allowing him to taste himself on your lips. He moaned softly into your mouth. You held the knife between your bodies, softly swiping the knife down his chest. He shuddered under you as the knife passed his stomach.

“I’m really proud of you, you know Princess.” He murmured against your lips. You hummed against him, hooking the knife under his belt and cut through the leather with ease.

“Oh yeah?” You peered up at him innocently through your thick lashes.

“So proud.” He affirmed, as your fingertips ran down his happy trail and fumbled with his button and zipper. His trousers dropped to the floor with a thud.

Your hand dipped under the waistband of his boxers and wrapped your hands around his long thick length tightly. He keened under your touch, “and y-your so close to graduating now.”

You ran your hand up and down his length at a tantalising rate, squeezing him gently with each movement. His head dropped down into the crook of your neck as he moaned needily.

He peppered sweet kisses along the curve of your neck, whispering praises into your skin. His hand wrapped around yours and slowly, carefully he pried the knife from your fingers.

Carefully he shuffled you backwards, until your back hit the wooden beam. For the second time that night he dropped to his knees before you, admiring his view.

“My perfect princess.” He uttered softly.

He traced the edge of the knife along your calves, slowly pushing the fabric of your skirt up into your willing hands until your lace panties were exposed.

The knife crept higher and higher up your thighs until it hit your panties. You held in a sharp breath as he slipped the cold blade underneath them, he was mesmerised by the shining metal under the mesh.

You realised how easily you had walked into this dangerous situation, how easy it would be for Bucky to plunge the knife into your stomach and end it all in a matter of minutes.

And yet, you weren’t scared at all, because despite the game, you knew he would never do anything to hurt you.

You wiggled over him impatiently, “Bucky please.” You whined, desperate for him to do something. He grinned up at you as the knife cut through the fabric with complete ease and he peeled it away from your soaking core.

He dropped the knife to the floor, right by your foot and kissed along your legs, just as he had done earlier. He lifted your wounded ankle from the floor and placed it over his shoulder so that he had a better view of your pussy.

You held onto the beam for support, mewling as his tongue teased itself along your thighs. His mouth hovered over your heat as you waited and whined for him all over again.

He chuckled at your impatience and swiped his tongue along your slit and hummed. “Such a sweet little pussy.” He mumbled against you, the vibrations of his voice sent shockwaves through you.

He wasted no more time taking your bundle of nerves between his lips, swirling his tongue over the hooded pearl again and again while you writhed on top of him.

He flattened his tongue and ran it along your slit, dipping his tongue into your entrance.

It felt like heaven, you ground your hips into his face and your fingers found their way into his long brown locks. You used his face to drive yourself closer to your high.

He latched onto your clit again, sucking and flicking it in his mouth. His vibranium fingertips were ice cold against your heat, he unexpectedly thrust two fingers inside your aching entrance.

“I’m gonna, Buck I’m…” You stuttered as his fingers thrust deeper, finding that spongy spot inside you over and over. Your walls contracted around his fingers as your orgasm washed over you, your body tightened in his hold as stars erupted behind your eyes.

As you came back down, Bucky removed his lips from your clit, but his fingers pumped in and out of you slowly. You whimpered above him, your sensitive walls continued to suck him in greedily.

“Wish I could spend the rest of the night between your legs.” He grunted, blowing cold air over your sensitive clit.

“Why don’t you?” Your head fell back against the scratchy wood, heavy breaths tore through your lungs.

“And let you miss out on the rest of the fun?” He chuckled loudly, pressing a kiss to your mound. “Not a chance, Princess.”

He stood up from the floor, turned your body away from him and placed your hand against the damp beam.

He lined himself up with your entrance, and slowly buried his thick cock inside you. No matter how many times he fucked you, you could never get over how good he managed to stretch you out every single time.

“Fuck, you feel like a dream, Princess.” He groaned, kissing along your shoulder as you swallowed him all up to the hilt.

He pulled out all the way, driving his hips back into you all over again. He set a brutal pace on your core, sending your head reeling.

“I’m going to ruin your perfect little pussy just like this on our wedding night.” He growled into your ear, his fingertips dug into your hips leaving a fresh litany of possessive purple bruises on your body. “‘M gonna fuck you till there’s nothing in the pretty head of yours.”

“Just without the killer children’s games though right?” You whined, pushing your hips back onto his as you felt your second orgasm nearing too quickly.

He groaned as you tightened around him, he could feel how close you were, you just needed a little push. He snaked his hand around your body, fingers fighting through the netting and found your clit.

He rubbed in harsh, continuous circles until you were practically sobbing for him to stop, you were too sensitive. Your second orgasm was even more intense than the last, your body sagged under his as you came back down.

“I promise no killer children’s games.” He chuckled, removing his hand from your sensitive pearl and raising it above your head and linking your fingers together.

As he rammed into you chasing his own high, you slipped your free hand below your skirt, carefully unbuckling the leather strap from around your thigh.

Bucky’s hips began to stutter as he neared his own end, he was so lost in his own pleasure that he didn’t notice your movements.

His eyes screwed shut and his teeth sunk into your shoulder as he spilled his seed inside you. You continued to move your hips backwards, prolonging his high by grinding down on his cock.

You slipped the pliant leather around his wrist and the beam, unlinking your hands from his and clipping it closed. You pulled away from him, feeling empty as his cock slipped from you, his seed dribbled down your leg.

“Wait Princess, what are you doing?” He grunted, his eyes flickering open with alarm. It was already too late. You had tied him to the beam tight, he wasn’t going anywhere for now. He tugged his wrist against the strap aggressively as you slipped out of his reach.

“Unbuckle me, now.” He snarled, as you offered him your most innocent, doe-eyed look you could muster up.

“Nah, I think you’re good there.” You smiled sweetly at him. “Sorry baby,, but it’s every man for themselves tonight.” You pressed your lips to his gently, but he caught your lip between his teeth and bit down harshly.

“Plus, I know you were planning something to keep me here too. I know you too well.” You giggled, softly cupping his stubble covered cheeks with your hands as you lapped up the blood that spilled from your lip.

You saw the anger subside in his eyes, pride replaced it. “You clever little minx.”

“Well I’d love to stay and chat, but I have a game to win.” You smiled at him again, pressing one last kiss to his cheek before stepping away from him. You picked up your knife from the floor on your way out, “I love you Bucky, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Wait Princess, please you can’t leave me like this.” He hollered, begging you to come back, but you were already gone. You left him standing there quite literally with his pants down and nowhere to run.

4:45am

The adrenaline of running into Bucky wore off almost immediately as you stumbled down the empty hallways, hiding in the shadows and hobbling down the stairs. Tiredness threatened your eyelids as you clung to walls to keep yourself upright.

Paranoia stepped in tow with you, every creek in the house set your teeth on edge. A cool draft drifted through the corridor, pushing you onwards into the unknown.

You had no idea how to get back into the tunnels so you were stuck wandering the halls. You were too exposed, you had to find somewhere to hide, but it just seemed impossible. All the doors you’d tried to open were locked up.

You were beginning to give up hope, when you finally came across open double doors, it was far more luxurious than any of the other doors on this floor. The red stain oak doors ran from floor to ceiling, with intricate swirls carved into them.

You peeked your head in through the gap, your eye met with the image of another maze. Only this maze was formed by dozens of bookcases, filled with hundreds of stories, tales of heroines and victims, love and science fiction.

You knew it was a risk walking into the only open room you could find, but you had to hide somewhere. It was too dangerous being out in the hallway for too long.

You stepped lightly through the tall towers of books upon books, stopping at the first clearing to look around for danger. You waited for someone to jump out of the shadows, but there was no one there.

Your eyes scanned over the comfy looking armchairs dotted around the clearing, it would be so easy to plonk yourself down on the one closest and curl up for a nap. The low light of amber lamps dotted around the clearing only made it more inviting.

As much as you wanted to, there was only one way in and out of the library to your knowledge. This clearing would be the first place any of the family would come across should they check in here and the risk of being caught seemed too high.

You wandered past the clearing, walking along a few more rows of bookcases, the scent of dusty books filled your nostrils.

The size of Tony and Steve’s library could match that of a public library, you had never seen so many books in someone’s house before. It was quite amazing.

You came across a second clearing as you reached the end of the rows of books, you couldn’t go any further now. You scanned over the empty area, it looked even more cosy than the last clearing.

In the corner was a crackling burning fire. A purple velvet chaise longue sat in front of it, a plush faux fur blanket hung over the chair.

Your feet had led you over to the couch without thinking the warmth of the fire pulled you in closer. You ran your hand over the fur blanket, eyes fluttering shut as the soft material enveloped your skin.

A soft breeze blew in from the window, sweeping through the room, it was a jarring contrast to the fire that burned in front of you.

You pottered over to the window and pulled it shut. The sound of it slamming echoed through the quiet room.

Pain throbbed through your body as you plonked down onto the sofa, the fur blanket covered your body like a warm hug.

Exhaustion swept over you, trying to pull you under its current. You were grateful for the reprieve from all the chaos, the quiet was a welcomed change.

Your eyes flickered over your body, taking in all the visible cuts and bruises that covered you from head to toe. You were a total mess, dried mud and dust particles clung to your skin.

Your shoulders sagged, sinking into the sofa and the blanket further. Your heavy eyelids fought to stay open, each time your eyes shut you shocked yourself awake again.

The sounds of female voices drifted to your ears as you began to fall down sleep’s rabbit hole. This time when you forced your eyes back open, alarm bells rang loudly through your mind.

You weren’t alone anymore, it was time to hide again.

You jumped up from the chaise longue, grabbing the iron poker that laid on the floor next to the fire and slipped in between the bookcases, hiding at the end of the row.

“Can’t see any sign of her, Nat.” Wanda uttered, “but the window is closed. So maybe she’s still here.”

Nat studied the clearing, everything looked in order, the closed window was the only indication that you’d been there recently. Wanda opened her mouth to speak again, but Natasha held her hand up to stop her.

Your scent was weak in the air but Natasha had the nose of a bloodhound, she was certain you were still there and she wanted her chance to play with you.

“Oh Princess…” She sang quietly, her voice carried through the gaps in the stacked books. “Come out, come out and play.”

Your body frozen, your tired muscles tensed as her voice sent chills down your spine. Wanda and Natasha stalked around the room, searching for their prey.

You’d done your best to hide, you’d done your best not to move or breath. You didn’t anticipate how difficult it was to hide with such a puffy skirt. The edges of your skirt poked out from behind the bookcase.

Natasha grinned menacingly when the hints of white fabric called out to her from the other end of the row. She silently beckoned Wanda over to her, nodding in your direction.

Wanda matched her friend’s evil smirk and crept off down the aisle towards you. Your heart thumped in your chest, your eyes flickered from side to side as you readied yourself to run for the doors.

Wanda inched into your personal space and jumped out in front of you. “Boo!” she cooed seductively, raising her fist to your face and smashing it into your cheek.

The force of her fist knocked your head back into the wooden bookcase and you swore you could see stars swirling round above your head. The impact of the hit loosened one of your teeth, blood dribbled from your slackened mouth.

You kicked your uninjured foot into her knee to disarm her. You pushed her backwards slamming her into the wall and watched the air leave her lungs.

She hit her fists out at you erratically, trying to hurt you in any way she could. You both struggled against each other, fighting to over power the other.

You managed to slip your fingers into her long flowing red hair and yanked hard. She grunted through gritted teeth as you pulled her by her hair from the wall and threw her to the floor.

She couldn’t hold back her pained cry as she landed on the floor with a loud thud that reverberated through the floorboards. You grabbed the iron poker from the floor, raised it over your head and hit her over and over to disorientate her.

Natasha waited in the wings for her chance to hurt you. She ran at you with a knife drawn, you held the poker up to your chest and the two metals clashed against one another.

The scraping sound of the two objects set your teeth on edge as she ran the knife along the poker, desperately trying to push the knife into your heart.

You pushed back against her, careful not to get too close to the knife. She was stronger than you though and you couldn’t hold her off much longer. You took a deep breath and counted.

One. Two. Three.

You fell backwards, catching yourself before you fell as Natasha flew past you and tumbled to the ground similarly to the way Wanda had.

You dropped the poker and climbed on top of her, straddling her waist to hold her down. You beat your fists into her body, swinging left and right, ignoring the numbing pain that spread across your knuckles with each punch.

Wanda pulled herself to her feet, stumbling from side to side as she staggered towards you. She picked up the poker and held it against your neck, pushing on the bruises that had formed and cut off your air supply.

She pulled you backwards off of Natasha as you flailed underneath her gasping for air. Natasha rolled onto her side, groaning painfully and tried to pull herself together.

Your eyes bulged from their sockets as all oxygen drained from your lungs, you frantically reached out for the discarded knife that lay just out of your reach. You hooked your fingertips around the handle and threw it backwards, jamming it deep in Wanda’s thigh. She let go of the poker, a sharp scream pierced your ears.

You jumped up from the floor, your head swimming with confusion and ran behind one of the bookcases. You rested your back against it and it wobbled under your weight. You didn’t have time to think, only act and Wanda was directly behind the bookcase.

You threw your weight, full force into frame. It dislodged and flew forwards right towards her. It fell to the floor in slow motion, a dust cloud erupted in the air like a smoke bomb, books crashed to ground one by one, pages tore from hundred year old books.

The heavy wood landed against the ground, the sound of bones snapping was unmistakable, the sound of Wanda’s scream followed immediately.

She was completely stuck under its weight, her whimpering sobs filled the air. Guilt wracked you from the inside out, you were frozen in place.

In the corner of your eye you saw Natash rise to her feet, her punch drunk form wobbling. She pulled a new knife from her thigh holster and ran at you quicker this time, you had no time to react.

“Fuck that hurt!” You cried as she stabbed you in the shoulder and ripped the knife from your wound immediately, ready to strike you again.

“Wait! Romanoff, stop!!” Peter hollered, running into the clearing.

He diverted Natasha’s attention from you onto him. She grinned darkly at the man, moving past you and bumping into the shoulder that she’d just driven her knife into seconds ago. You hissed as blood oozed from the stab wound.

She pulled a third knife from her bodysuit and threw both at Peter, one after the other. The first knife clipped his shirt and pinned him to the wall. The second one landed between his spread legs, inches away from his crotch.

You and Peter winced as the second knife landed in the wall. His wide blue eyes met yours, nodding subtly to the exit of the door as Natasha stalked closer to him.

“You’ve already helped her tonight little spider, you’re not allowed to step in again.” She sneered, closing in on his space and pulling the knife from the wall between his legs.

You didn’t bother sticking around to hear anymore, you had to get out. Now. You limped as fast as you could toward the exit.

Natasha noticed your missing presence just as you slipped through the open doors. She held the knife to his throat, “I’ll be telling Stark about what you did tonight.”

You stumbled out into the hallway and ran down the steps on the ground floor and back to the front of the house.

You noticed a door hidden under the staircase and tried the handle, you were surprised when it opened and relieved when you saw the cleaning supplies.

You slipped inside the cupboard and stood waiting for the footsteps to follow after you, but they never came.

The blood from your shoulder was flowing freely, spilling onto the white fabric. You ripped another piece of tulle from your dress and carefully wrapped the material around your shoulder. Involuntary tears slipped from your eyes as you tightened the dressing around your wound.

You lent back against the shelves, tears rolled over your cheeks and you let out a shaky breath. You were done, you had no more fight left in you and it was time to fold.

You were going back to the place where it all began.

5:21am

You didn’t care anymore, that last fight had drained you of all your energy. You stepped out of the cleaning cupboard.

You limped slowly towards the dining room, your feet ached with each step you took. The floor felt spongy under your feet, your head was light and fuzzy from the blood you had lost from your shoulder.

You stood in front of the closed dining room doors, taking deep breaths as you prepared yourself for what you may find on the other side of the doors.

It took all of your energy to push open the heavy doors, it swung slowly, creaking uncomfortably.

You surveyed the dark room, it looked empty except for a single dinner candle that was burning in the middle of the dinner table.

Daylight had broken over the sky, the early morning orange sunlight peeked through the cloud, streaming softly into the room.

The world outside looked so peaceful, only birds had woken up, ignorant to the horrors that had taken place on this estate whilst they were sleeping.

You wandered over the open window, breathing in nature’s calm and allowing the breeze to wash over you and refresh your sleepy senses.

You felt as though you had aged ten years over the course of one night. This night had been a big lesson on Bucky’s world.

“You know, you really should check a room more thoroughly for threats before you enter a room.”

The deep voice startled you, you whipped around squinting and searching the dark corners of the room. Tony stepped forwards into the soft morning light. “Though Barnes would’ve taught you better than that.”

“There’s a lot of things Bucky should’ve taught me before tonight. “ You narrowed your eyes at him as he walked towards the table.

“Perhaps…” He staggered slightly, almost toppling over his own feet and spilling some of the whiskey over his hand.

“But why ruin the surprise?” He mustered up a smile that barely reached his misery ridden eyes. You watched him curiously as he drunkenly dragged a chair out from under the table and plonked himself down, his limbs sprawled out sleepily.

“Well a surprise usually implies that something good happens.” You lent back against the window frame, your eyes never leaving him, just in case he tried to pounce on you.

“I suppose, but if you look at it from my perspective, something good has happened.” He sighed, taking a long swig of drink and emptying the glass. “Barnes has found his perfect match and there’s been no real casualties tonight.”

“So is this the part where you try to kill me too?”

“Usually, yes, but the game will be over in two minutes.” Tony looked up from his watch, meeting your gaze, “and if i’m being honest, I’d rather not deal with Steve’s wrath for killing you like I killed Sarah.”

“That was you?” You gasped loudly, your jaw hanging open.

“Yep and I don’t think Steve has ever really forgiven me for it. I think it would end us completely if I killed you too.”

The bell chimed three times, stopping the snarky comeback that stung your tongue.

“I did it.” You muttered to yourself, a wave of relief washed over you and you released a breath that you’d been holding in all night. A breath that had kept you alive.

“Come on, you’ve got a graduation ceremony to attend.” Tony dragged his intoxicated body from the table and held his hand out to you.

Your feet remained rooted on the ground, refusing to move towards him. Your brain screamed at you, telling you it was a trap.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, promise. The game is over.” Tony reasoned, noticing the uncertainty etched into your features.

You closed the distance between you, taking his arm and allowed him to lead you out to the pool where the family were all gathered. You were met with cheers and smiles as you came face to face with the very people who had spent the night hunting you.

Although he was hidden in the back of the group, your eyes found Sam’s brown eyes, they were glistening in the morning light and offered you sad remorse.

You pushed past the happy faces and threw your arms around his waist despite the pain that twinged in your shoulder. You felt his whole body tense and relaxed under your touch and finally he wrapped his arms around you too.

Neither of you uttered a word, you didn’t need to, he knew what you were communicating without exchanging any words.

When you finally pulled away, you looked up into his eyes offering him a gentle smile. “I’m sorry Sam.” You mumbled loud enough that only he could hear. He didn’t respond but offered you a real smile that met his eyes this time.

A very bruised Natasha wandered over with Wanda hobbling in tow. “Welcome to the family.” Wanda smiled, offering you a bottle of unopened champagne.

“Yeah, not bad for a princess.” Natasha laughed, taking the bottle from your hands and popped it open for you and handed it back to you. You chugged down the first mouthful, the fizziness burned your lips but you drank on anyway.

You eyes scanned the group, searching for Bucky, but he’d been pulled into a conversation with Peter. You hadn’t noticed that Natasha and Wanda had sloped off back into their own conversation.

“You know that’s about the highest compliment you can receive from Nat.” Steve uttered as he came up beside you.

“Yeah I kinda figured, I gave her a pretty good fight.” You chuckled softly.

“Yeah I found them in the library not long after you left.” He laughed, “congratulations by the way.”

“Thanks...” You muttered as Tony quietened down the family, drawing your attention back to him as he swayed steadily from side to side.

Bucky gingerly walked up beside you, he’d cleaned up since the last time you’d seen him. He had a new shirt, courtesy of Steve. He noticed the way you quietly shivered, the effects of the night clear on your body. He shrugged his jacket off and carefully placed it over your shoulders.

The warmth was a welcomed comfort and his cologne smelt like home. You watched as Tony’s lips moved, but you couldn’t hear a thing, the erratic beat of your heart thumped too loudly.

You slipped your hand into Bucky’s, but your eyes remained on Tony. You felt the way he moved beside you, checking that he hadn’t made up the feel on your fingers interlocked with his.

Your ears tuned back into your surroundings, it was like resurfacing from underwater.

“So I now declare this graduation ceremony complete! My dear, welcome to the family!” Tony cheered, raising his own personal bottle of champagne in your direction.

“I think I speak for everyone when I say we can’t wait for the wedding.” Steve chimed in as everyone cheersed your graduation.

Slowly you brought the bottle to your lips again, chugging down as much as you could take as it burned your throat.

Steve watched you closely, his eyes met Bucky’s and they shared a look above your head. “Well it’s your graduation night, is there anything you’d like to say?”

Silence fell over the group, all eyes turned to you once again. A nervous laugh bubbled in your throat, “you’re all fucking insane…”

The silence that hung in the air turned from curiosity to awkward, they were stunned by your honesty. Bucky turned to you, worry evident in his eyes, his vibranium fingertips ran up and down your arm to soothe you.

“Does that mean the wedding’s off?” He mumbled, you could see the way his lips trembled as the words left his lips. He was terrified of the answer.

The next words that you uttered would determine how you walked out of this estate tonight, if you walked out at all.

“It means…” You paused, running your hands over his chest, barely able to contain your smile as you stared up into his cerulean orbs.

“That I’m looking forward to the next game night, when I’m not the one being hunted for sport.” You smiled wickedly as the Bucky’s tensed muscles relaxed under your touch.

He took your face in his hands, crashing his lips down on yours. You melted into his touch, allowing him to intoxicate your senses. You were faintly aware of the family’s cheers as your lips moved against his softly.

He pulled away from you reluctantly, resting his forehead against yours. “I love you.” He breathed.

“I love you too.” You muttered, “and I already have some positively wicked ideas for the next poor soul that wants in on the family.”

You didn’t think it was possible for his smile to widen anymore and somehow it did. His eyes lit up, he looked down at you as if you’d hung the moon.

“Princess, I think we’re going to make an excellent team when the time comes.”

Tags: @theselilwonders @elemenhoepe @delaber @ramp-it-up @nikole-witha-k @lonelydance @mkirk12776 @turbolisedcomet @im-a-marvel-ous-hoe @aquariusbarnes @ysmmsy @anxiousgirlsarehotter

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ot7always · 4 years ago

Text

In the Dead of Night

banner courtesy of the wonderfully talented @dee-ehn !

Word Count: 14.5k

Pairing: Vampire!Jin x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, friends to lovers, smut, fluff

Warnings: dom!Jin, sub!Reader, non-gory blood and knife injury (it’s there, but mostly humorous and/or with very little specific description), biting (like actual biting), vampire compulsion (nothing concerning consent-wise), marking, hair pulling, grinding, size kink, spanking (hand), fingering, praise, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare

Rating: 18+

Summary: Courtesy of my roommate, who summarized my story much better than I ever could:

A/N: It’s finally here! I meant for this to be about half the length and be released more than a week or 2 ago, but as you very well know, things don’t exactly go as planned in 2020. Regardless, I enjoyed writing this fic a lot, so please let me know what you think!

Saturdays at 3 am were supposed to be peaceful.

Well – at your apartment, that is. You couldn’t account for whoever elected to roam the streets of downtown at night.

But what was definitely not supposed to be happening was being awoken from your deep slumber by furious pounding on your front door.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

When you glanced groggily over at your alarm clock and saw the time, you could have screamed.

Just as you reached for your phone to call the cops on whatever psychopath was probably waking up your entire floor, your screen lit up with a text.

Suckjin [03:19]: plz open ur door

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Sliding out of bed, you hissed as your bare feet hit the cold hardwood.

This had better be fucking worth it.

Plodding out of your bedroom on tiptoes to avoid as much contact with the floor as possible, you made your way to the front door without even bothering to throw on shorts under your oversized t-shirt.

Whatever. You were sure that brat has seen thighs before.

While the knocks had thankfully quieted for a moment, he started up again just as you reached the door.

Before he could even dare bang his fist against the wood again, you were turning the deadbolt and whipping the door open, readying your fiercest glare for the broad man standing before you.

Right as you opened your mouth to start cussing him out, he sprung towards you, hands pushing you further inside your apartment and shutting the door before you could even blink.

When he turned to face you again, hands on his stomach, you prepared for the verbal onslaught you were about to send his way.

“Just what in the absolute hell do you think you’re-”

When your eyes naturally followed the path of his arms down to his stomach, what you saw there shut you up immediately.

Wide-eyed, you took a step back, eyes never leaving the sight before you. He-

As your breath quickened, a (miraculously clean) hand shot out to cover your mouth gently, though you were sure he was ready to clamp down at a moment’s notice.

“Please don’t scream.”

When you were finally able to break your gaze from his abdomen and look at his face instead, pleading eyes locked with yours, his skin paler than usual.

As frightened as you were, you calmed some when you processed the fact that he seemed to be standing before you just fine, albeit the fact that his eyes appeared somewhat unfocused.

You nodded, reaching a shaky hand up to remove his from your face, shivering at how cold and clammy he felt.

When you could speak again, you spent a few moments collecting your thoughts before you opened your mouth again.

“You - you have a knife in you!” you hissed, stepping closer to move his jacket aside to get a better look.

It wasn’t that gruesome a sight, especially not when he was wearing a black t-shirt, but it was no less jarring to have your friend show up in the middle of the night after seemingly being stabbed.

“I know that!” he hissed back, slightly exasperated, muffling a groan when you tried to inch his shirt up to glance at the skin beneath.

“Why the hell do you have a knife in you?” you whispered furiously, pulling him by the arm to settle down onto your couch.

He plopped down with a sigh of relief, his head lolling back momentarily. You hoped he knew that he was paying your cleaning bills if he bled all over your loveseat.

“Now, now, didn’t anyone ever tell you not to remove the knife if you get stabbed?” he said with a pained chuckle, sucking in a breath at the movement it caused.

“Seokjin, now is not the time to joke around,” you said, panic rising in you because you had absolutely no clue what you were supposed to do with a vampire who had a knife embedded in him. “Why did you come here?”

“Well you were the only person I could think of who would answer their door at 3 am-”

“Seokjin!”

“Sorry, sorry.” You didn’t tend to call him that unless you were genuinely annoyed, and he seemed to drop the humorous demeanor immediately.

“Why didn’t you go to a hospital?”

“I can’t go to a hospital.”

“What?! Why not?”

“Okay, correction – I didn’t want to go to a hospital.”

You let out a groan of frustration, fingers rubbing circles into your temples. This man was going to be the death of you. You had no idea why vampires seemed to have such an aversion to hospitals, but you supposed you could never understand. Despite their existence being generally accepted in society so long as they didn’t leave trails of bodies in their wake, there must have been some other reason nobody had ever shared with you.

“Seokjin, I really don’t know what to do here,” you whispered, an ounce of desperation and unease making its way into your tone. His expression softened at the sound, reaching for your hand. As much as he might have been trying to comfort you, the feeling of his hand unusually icy against yours only scared you more.

“I...” he trailed off, trying to figure out a good way to phrase this before settling on being straightforward. “...need blood.”

“Huh?” You furrowed your brow. “You literally have blood at home.”

“No, I, uhh...” he paused. “I need fresh blood to heal something like this.”

You froze. He needed fresh blood? He showed up here because he wanted... your blood?

“Aren’t there places you can go for blood?” you asked, tensing up at the notion of being bitten. It wasn’t that you were so totally opposed – it was no secret that people said it felt good. But you had never been bitten before, and you didn’t know what to think about Seokjin showing up here for that reason.

“I came here because I trust you the most,” he said, squeezing your hand. “Please. I promise I would never do this unless I had to. But please – you can say no, but tell me right now, because this hurts so much.”

Seeing his pained expression and feeling the way his fingers gripped yours like a lifeline, there was absolutely no way you were letting him back outside to roam the streets. You had no idea how this really happened to him, but despite their general acceptance, vampire hunters still existed. Like hell you were going to let easy bait walk right into their hands.

Especially not Seokjin.

“I – okay, I just – I don’t know why I’m nervous.” Biting was a pretty private, intimate thing. Most vampires drank bagged blood, with live donors only in carefully-controlled emergency clinics or heavily guarded clubs.

There was, of course, the cases of vampire-human relationships or hookups, but most people didn’t tend to share the ultra-specific details of their sex life.

Not that you had never attempted research on your own, but anecdotes you found on the internet varied so wildly that you had to wonder whether they were even telling the truth.

“I promise I can control myself. I would never put you in danger.”

“No, I know, it’s not that,” you mumbled. “Just... will it hurt?”

“Oh. No, it shouldn’t.”

“It shouldn’t? I don’t know how reassuring that is,” you chuckled nervously. You weren’t about to back out now, but you had at least hoped that he would have a straight answer for you.

He took a shaky breath, and a pang of guilt went through you for asking so many questions.

“The more attracted a vampire and donor are to each other, emotionally and physically, the better it’ll feel for you.”

“And you?”

He smirked, and curse him for making it look good despite his unfortunate... situation. “Me? I’m a vampire, it always feels good.”

Right. You might have facepalmed at the stupid question that left your own lips, but his voice momentarily distracted you from doing so.

“Anyway, I know my face isn’t a problem, so unless you secretly hate me or something, you’ll be okay,” he grinned.

“I’m so glad you can joke around right now,” you snorted derisively. “If I secretly hated you, you wouldn’t be here, would you?”

“Fair.”

“Anyway, I’ll do it, just,” you winced. “Don’t call me a donor. It feels weird.”

“Deal,” he said quickly, pulling you closer to him. “Thank you for this. Really, I owe you.”

You sighed. “I can’t just let you bleed out somewhere in the world, can I?” You allowed him to pull you close enough that you were hovering over him with your legs touching his, and you stood awkwardly in silence. “Uhh, what should I do?”

He patted his lap in invitation and your face warmed at the notion, but you straddled his legs before your brain had time to dwell on it.

He raised a hand to nudge the collar of your shirt away from your neck, his icy fingers and the sensation of his nails on your skin sending a shiver down your spine. When his thumb rubbed gently against the warmth of your neck, you had to suppress a gasp at the surprisingly intimate touch.

When you focused your gaze on his face, his eyes were not fixed on your own, but rather on the movements of his own hand, his pupils obscenely dilated. You’d never seen him look so lustful, so hungry.

Heat undeniably flared in your core (much without your consent), and it was wishful thinking to hope that Seokjin didn’t pick up on your quickening breath or rapid heartbeat.

“I...” he whispered, trailing off before he’d even begun.

“Hm?” you answered, already feeling dazed before his fangs had even touched you.

“I need you to pull the knife out.”

Well, that certainly broke you free of your trance.

“What!? Me? You – I – me?” you stuttered in a very flattering display of eloquence.

“I’m... not sure I have the strength right now,” he admitted ruefully, and you could tell that if it were really up to him, he would be doing it himself.

Just what have you gotten yourself into?

“Fine,” you murmured, raising both hands to grip firmly at the handle of the blade. “Just – don’t bite me until I put this knife down, okay? We don’t need any more... accidents.”

He failed to hold back a laugh at that, and you managed to crack a grin in response. “Okay, okay.”

To think he had you so utterly flustered and at his whim only moments ago.

“On the count of three,” you breathed, bracing yourself for something you certainly never expected anyone to ask of you. “One... two... three.”

When you reached three, you flinched your eyes shut, pulling as hard as you could in one quick burst, desperate to have this all over before it started.

The sensation was something odd and unspeakable, and you turned to toss the knife on the table behind you before you could register the uncomfortable warmth on your hands.

But the exact moment the sound of metal clattering on glass reached your ears, your head was being wrenched back by large hands, plump lips and hot breath coming into contact with your neck before you realized he’d moved.

You could barely suck in a gasp before a hand moved to grip tightly at your waist, and fangs sunk into your skin.

White-hot pain lanced through your body like electricity, and for a moment you were thinking you were done for. Seokjin was wrong, maybe he lied, and you definitely lacked the strength to push off a dying vampire determined to drink.

But just as you opened your mouth, whether to scream or cry or whatever else, you were immediately silenced, a breathy groan soon pulled from your throat.

The sudden onslaught of pleasure flowing through your limbs had you weak, your body falling limp into sensation immediately.

Clearly prepared for this outcome, Seokjin only pulled you closer to him, the hand on your waist supporting your body, a hand fisted near your scalp keeping your head back. The casual display of strength pulled a whimper from you, your body feeling hot all over.

Your eyelids fluttered closed, and you had to wonder when you had opened them at all, because you couldn’t recall processing a single thing visually since his fangs touched you.

You thought that would be as good as it gets, but the pleasure only kept building and building. It rendered you almost completely immobile, your world reduced to Seokjin at your neck, the broad planes of his body below yours, and the myriad of bliss flooding your veins. Heat was throbbing in your cunt, your nipples hard and almost pained as they rubbed against the roughness of your t-shirt.

You raised your hands that were sitting idle at your sides to fist into Seokjin’s shirt, giving no thought to the fact that he was gravely injured in that spot only minutes ago, fingers feeling almost numb and not registering the wetness that was there either.

“Ah - Jin,” you cried loudly as the bliss only built, tossing your head back to bare more of your neck.

He growled ferally into your skin, the sound going straight to your core. He pulled you closer still, enough that your breasts pressed harshly into his chest, your hips slotted together.

Sighing happily at the pressure right where you needed it most, you ground desperately against whatever you could feel against you. When you felt the undeniable hardness of Seokjin’s cock against your cunt and its delicious friction against your soaked-through panties, you moaned obscenely.

You felt rather than heard his gasp in response, his grip around you tightening even further, enough that you felt out of breath.

You whimpered at the restriction, his strength keeping you from grinding against him no matter how hard you tried.

You cursed him internally, but there was no way you were going to formulate words at this point, your mind completely lost to euphoric delirium.

It felt as though you were floating, head thrown back as sparks flew up your spine relentlessly.

Despite the lack of proper friction against your cunt, you could feel pressure building in your abdomen. You were close, so close, so undeniably close-

Fangs retracted from your neck, and the sudden loss was like ice water being thrown over your head. You shivered.

The tight grip on you loosened, Seokjin leaning into the back of the couch and groaning.

When you opened your eyes you almost fell over at the way the world spun, dizziness and blurry vision almost distracting you from the orgasm that seemed only moments away.

Almost.

Blinking furiously until you managed to fix your gaze onto Seokjin’s face, you sucked in a harsh breath at the sight before you.

Irises swimming with crimson, pupils blown out, chest heaving, dark hair mussed, lips painted red, fangs still visible past his parted lips – he looked the very picture of sin.

Fuck.

Though if you had a mirror, you would see that you looked just as ruined – eyes wanton and desperate, teeth gnawing into your bottom lip, dark bruises colouring your neck. If temptation were a person, it would be you, sitting in Seokjin’s lap with your soaked panties still pressed against the bulge in his pants.

As you stared at each other, it was as though time froze. Neither of you moved an inch, seemingly content to remain in some kind of intense, sensual staredown for the rest of time.

But you’d never claimed to be a patient person, and when you finally felt confident that your body was yours again, you acted.

If he wanted to push you away, he could have. His reflexes always seemed to almost predict the future, and you were positive that if he didn’t want this, he would have stopped you. He was never one to avoid voicing his discontent, even if it was masked as a self-deprecating joke. Some part of you deep down expected him to end this before it had even begun.

He didn’t.

Your lips met his in a depraved frenzy, too far gone to make any attempt at starting slow. It was rough, and it was messy, and it was desperate, and you loved it. His fangs scraped at your bottom lip and you gasped, fisting your hands into his hair as your body remembered how it felt the last time those fangs breached your skin. But as you ground your clit into the sizeable bulge in his pants again, he froze.

Just as you were about to pull away to see what caught his attention, he pushed you away first, hands firmly on your shoulders.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he gasped, and it very much looked like it took all of his willpower to break away.

“What’s wrong?” you asked weakly, your head still spinning, body absolutely overcome by lust. In fact, he was looking a bit blurry again with how fast he moved you, and it took several moments of rapid blinking before you met his very concerned gaze. Nothing ever escaped him, and you were sure that your semi-weak state was very obvious to him right now.

Not that it affected how much you wanted his touch, his cock.

“You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Your brow furrowed. “I do know what I’m doing,” you said firmly – or at least, you tried, but it took far too much effort to wrap your tongue around the syllables, almost as if you were drunk.

“Y/N-”

“Why don’t you believe me?” you whined, this time sounding a bit more coherent. You tried to push toward him, but his hold was too strong. “You want it too, look at your face.”

He sighed, looking to the ceiling as though it held some answer on how to make this easier. “It’s not about whether I want it or not. You’re not thinking straight.”

“Jinnie,” you whimpered needily, reaching your hands toward the waistband of his pants. If he didn’t touch you soon, you swore that you would scream. “Please. I want it. I want you. I promise-”

He moved to snatch your hands before you could touch him, and your mouth clamped shut at the grip. His expression was almost pained for a moment before his eyes glazed over with a look that would have had you on your knees immediately.

His hand shot up to grip your chin firmly, ensuring that you couldn’t look away. Though, you didn’t think you could look away if you tried, drawn to the unspeakable darkness you found there, crimson still invading the rich brown.

“Why don’t you be a good girl and sleep for me?”

“Wh-what?” you choked out, but it was as though you’d lost control of your body, feeling as though you’d been awake for days without sleep. Your eyelids fluttered shut, but you forced them back open, groaning weakly when your vision fell upon Seokjin, his expression still dark and hungry.

You were about to open your mouth again, but something about his eyes was so captivating. Something about the red pulled you in, left you unable to think. Were his eyes always this beautiful? You wracked your brain, but came up blank. You wanted to open your mouth and ask him, but you couldn’t move a muscle. Even still, your face drew closer to his as though pulled in by a magnet.

His eyes roved over your face before meeting your gaze once more, and you missed the flash of sympathy that was present for only a moment. You were relieved when he looked at you again, fingers twitching with the urge to cup his face. You were content to look at him for the rest of time – if there was anything Seokjin had, it was time, right?

Attention focused on each other, he parted his lips, and you could have sworn your ears buzzed, desperate to hold on to every word.

“Sleep.”

Your vision went black.

You awoke to a hand scratching gently at your scalp, a great contrast to the relentless hammering of your head. You groaned, shoving your face further into your pillow, blocking out the light that was already worsening the ache of your skull, even with your eyes closed.

You were so comfy, so relaxed at the touch that you almost drifted right back to sleep.

Wait.

You lived alone.

Sitting up all in a rush, you gasped as the world spun. It only got worse when you forced your eyes open, a pained whine leaving your lips as even the limited light in the room only introduced more pain behind your eyes.

“Woah! It’s just me, it’s just me.” Seokjin’s voice came out in a rush, sturdy arms lowering you back to your pillow as he pulled the sheets up to shadow your face.

Right. Seokjin.

Your heartbeat calmed, recalling his arrival late last night. Though, what came next was all a blur you couldn’t bother trying to remember right now.

You heard him step away quickly, the sound of your curtains drawing completely closed having you let out a sigh of relief. His footsteps neared you again, his cool touch returning to stroke gently at your face, before moving to massage at the base of your skull.

His touch was so delicate it almost baffled you. You didn’t think he’d touch anyone like this, his displays of affection more inclined to loud compliments and playful roughhousing.

But you couldn’t deny that it felt incredible, your neck arching almost imperceptively as you leaned into his touch. The chill of his skin against yours sent a shiver through you, and you tried to ignore the fluttering in your chest.

“Are you cold?”

Blood rushed to your face at the observation, though you only gave a noncommittal noise in return. He didn’t need to know what was going on in your mind.

“My head hurts,” you mumbled quietly, a pout overtaking your lips. Seokjin had to force himself not to laugh at how cute you looked then.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he replied softly, lulling you back into a half-asleep state with the gentle motions of his hand on you.

You couldn’t tell how long it was before you opened your eyes again – it could have been 2 minutes or it could have been two hours. You couldn’t even tell whether you’d drifted off or not.

It was fortunately much darker than the first time you opened your eyes, much to the relief of your headache that had faded some, but was still thudding away.

What you didn’t expect, however, was to be greeted by the golden skin of Seokjin’s chest, the shadows of the room only making it look more unreal.

You blearily blinked several times before determining that yes, that was Seokjin half-naked and perched on a kitchen chair. You tried to get words out and failed, clearing your throat before trying again.

“Where are your clothes?”

He grinned. “A bit ruined, if you recall.”

Right.

At least his pants were still on. That was best for your sanity.

“Why does my head hurt so much?” you asked, luckily able to keep your eyes open now to look at him without the pain multiplying tenfold.

He winced, his chest aching at the pained expression on your face. “I’m sorry. That’s my fault.”

“What do you mean? Because you bit me?”

“No, not that.” He raised his free hand to scratch awkwardly at his ear.

“Huh? Why then?” All of this was so confusing. Maybe you should have done more research on vampires in your life, though you never expected to be in this sort of situation.

“I, uhh... compelled you.” He gnawed nervously at his lip, but rather than the lashing out he might have expected, you only looked at him in confusion.

“You what? Why?”

“What do you remember from last night?” he posed to you instead.

As much as you tried to recall, you couldn’t focus on anything with the state your head was in. You remembered him arriving at your house, a bit of stupid banter, getting on the couch, sitting in his lap. Then, he bit you.

Then what?

You honestly didn’t know, and you couldn’t help the fear that crept its way through you at that realization.

“You bit me...” you trailed off, looking away from his face and instead staring into the sheets near where your hands laid.

He hummed in affirmation, clearly urging you to continue.

“And then, I don’t really know,” you whispered, an edge of panic in your voice.

He sighed. “That’s what I thought. Don’t worry, it’ll come back.”

“Did something bad happen?” You tried to wrack your brain for possible scenarios where he would have had to compel you to do something, and you came up blank every time. What could you have done? Attacked him? Or did he go crazy at the taste of your blood and attack you? No, that didn’t make any sense – you were lying in bed feeling perfectly normal besides the headache.

What the hell happened?

“Nothing bad happened. I just... made you sleep before we did something stupid.”

It felt like the more he told you, the less you knew. Before you did something stupid? As in, did something stupid together?

There was something about the way he was choosing his words that led you to only one conclusion – in fact, he sounded an awful lot like Taehyung bemoaning his drunken hookups.

There was no way you almost fucked... right?

You’d have to know, right? There was no way you would have gone along with that... right?

It wasn’t as though you’d never had a spur of the moment one-night stand, but with Seokjin? There was absolutely no way you would’ve let that happen. A person had to protect their heart, after all.

“Stop overthinking right now, you’ll just make the pain worse.”

“I’m not,” you protested, though you didn’t know why you even tried lying. It was a bit hard to trick someone who was both a vampire and your friend.

“I can literally hear you freaking out. Please just try to rest, you’ll remember when the headache goes away.”

You sighed, trying to ease the tension in your body you didn’t even realize you had. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he said confidently, his hand trailing away to rub firm circles into your shoulder instead.

“Mm.” You might have said something, but proper words evaded you at his touch. You tried focusing on him rather than the thrum of your skull, and you had to force yourself to keep your eyes open.

The expression on Seokjin’s face was one you hadn’t seen before. His eyes looked into yours with a softness that felt unfamiliar, a soft smile overtaking his lips when he saw how exhausted you looked.

“Sleep if you’re tired, princess,” he murmured, pulling the sheets up higher to cover you more. “Do you want another blanket?”

You could feel your heart speed up in your chest at the pet name and his tenderness, and you cursed the fact that there was no way to hide anything from him. At least he was polite enough not to tease you like he did your other friends.

You were so momentarily flustered that you almost forgot to respond, only nodding in response as you curled further into yourself. If you were any braver, maybe you would have asked him to join you instead.

It was only moments before he was tossing the throw from your living room over you, and it almost startled you. Sometimes you forgot how eerily fast he could move, considering he usually slowed himself to your pace whenever you were together.

You let out a contented sigh as you snuggled into the additional warmth, already feeling only half-conscious. You had just enough energy to let out a mumbled ‘thanks’ before you were drifting off again.

When you awoke this time, it felt as though you were an entirely new person. For starters, your head felt blissfully quiet. You were sure you would have cried if you woke up to just as much pain. There was only so much you could take in one 24-hour period. Seokjin had really done a number on your weekend, hadn’t he?

Speaking of Seokjin, he was nowhere to be seen in your bedroom. Though you were sure he was still somewhere. It wasn’t quite his style to disappear without saying goodbye, and you were even more doubtful that he would just leave after biting you.

Biting you.

At the thought, images flooded your mind faster than you could process them.

His fangs at your neck.

The relentless pleasure that invaded every fibre of your being.

Your lips on his.

Your brazen grinding against him.

And, your refusal to stop despite his words.

Holy fuck.

Was it possible to go back to when you didn’t remember and you could ignorantly lay in bed with Seokjin stroking your head?

You sat up only to bury your head in your hands, letting out a loud, embarrassed, frustrated groan while you were at it. If Seokjin didn’t know you were awake before, he surely did now. But merciful as ever, he allowed you to wallow in your mortification alone.

Was there anything worse than trying to mindlessly and basically drunkenly make your way into your friend’s pants and get denied? Your friend who you maybe found a little bit (extremely) attractive in every way, shape, and form?

Well, of course there were worse things, but to you in this moment, it certainly felt like a new low.

It took you a moment to find your footing once you’d hopped out of bed, but luckily you felt good as new otherwise. If you stayed in here alone too much longer you would certainly lose the minimal nerve you had and never leave.

In your rush to make use of your bravery, you remembered at the last moment that you were still in just your panties and shirt with no bra.

When you made it to your dresser, you paused at your reflection.

It was almost... startling how normal you looked. Though, what should you have looked like?

Baring your neck and squinting at the image in front of you, you had to scratch at your neck yourself to verify whether you were imagining it.

Aside from bruises that already seemed to be fading, there were no marks on your neck. Did it really heal that fast?

Maybe you should have been a bit embarrassed that you were so clueless on the whole subject. But in your defense, information on the internet didn’t seem to be very reliable, and vampires, for some reason, seemed to love their air of mystery. Based on the few you knew well, you were pretty sure they got a fair amount of amusement out of the misconceptions flying around.

Finally fully dressed for the first time since Seokjin showed up unannounced, you flung your door open with all the confidence you could muster.

Which is to say, you cracked your door open just enough for you to stick your head out. Much to your dismay, your eyes met Seokjin’s on the couch almost immediately, your face ducked toward the floor as you slinked your way over to the living room.

You stopped on the opposite side of the table, the sight of the stained knife there definitely not helping in your hope to distract yourself from what a fool you’d made of yourself the night before.

Out of curiosity, your gaze shot up to examine his abdomen.

You didn’t know why the perfectly smooth and unblemished muscle you found there was of any surprise to you after the night you’ve had, but it was. There wasn’t a single trace of any injury or blood on him – in fact, he looked much cleaner than when he got here. Did he use your shower?

A throat clearing had your eyes instinctively locking with his, an amused smile playing over his features that shot embarrassment through your veins. Of course the one time your ogling was purely scientific, he had to catch you and make fun of you.

You couldn’t stop your sight from drifting back down, the concept of there being absolutely no trace of anything happening to him boggling your mind.

“You really...” you trailed off, eyes darting back and forth across his bare skin one last time just to be sure. “You really healed, just like that?”

He only nodded, tapping the unbroken skin for emphasis. “You can heal me, I can heal you. Convenient, isn’t it?”

You nodded back in response, silence taking over the room quickly. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do to fill it. You’ve never experienced an awkward silence with Seokjin before, his charming nature always keeping everyone around him comfortable. This sort of energy in the room with him... it was unsettling.

“Y/N,” Seokjin called out once the silence went on a moment too long for his liking. “Can you come sit with me?”

He scooted over to make plenty of room for you, but you felt almost frozen in place. Did he really want your company after you’d pretty much jumped him? Was he sitting you down so he could let you down easy, tell you that this has been real, but he refused to associate with someone with so little self-control?

You must have stood there staring for longer than you thought, because an unreadable expression crossed his face before he spoke up again.

“Are you scared of me?”

Huh?

“No!” you blurted out, your volume clearly surprising him. “Well, a little?”

“Oh.” If you weren’t paying such close attention to him, you would have missed the hurt that flashed in his eyes. But you didn’t.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant,” you said hurriedly. You wanted to smack yourself for being such a blatant mess. “I’m just... scared,” you finished weakly.

His gaze softened immediately, and he had to restrain himself from hopping over the table between you to pull you into his arms. You looked like you were trying to shrink into yourself, your shoulders pulled towards your chest, hands wringing nervously in front of you.

“Did you think I would be upset?” he asked softly. He leaned forward, earnest expression on his face.

That was an understatement. You could live with “drunkenly” coming onto someone, but you didn’t know what you would do if it ended up costing you your friendship. Maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you never claimed to be the most rational person.

You nodded slowly, your vision dropping to stare at the floor, hands wrapped around your middle, squeezing as you struggled to maintain composure. You didn’t know why your heart was beating a mile a minute, your palms uncomfortably sweaty. You usually didn’t feel this level of fear when confronting a mistake that, to a normal person, shouldn’t be such an obscenely big deal as you were making it. But Seokjin was certainly not a normal person to you, and any situation that lowered his opinion of you was one you would do anything to avoid.

“Hey.” The sudden gentle hand on your chin made you squeak, and you would have stumbled in your rush to step backward if not for the steadying hand on your shoulder.

You always seemed to forget that he could move so quickly and silently. Your heart might stop at this rate if he wasn’t careful.

His thumb stroked at your jaw as if he hadn’t just seen you nearly fall flat on your ass, softly tapping under your chin until you met his gaze.

“I promise I’m the furthest thing from mad right now. Nothing is even your fault, okay?”

“But-”

“No buts. Let’s talk, but I’m not upset. Okay?” he urged, eyes not leaving yours until you nodded. The smile he gave in return made you feel warm, the tenderness in his gaze doing things to your heart, the hint of a smile ghosting your lips.

The hand on your shoulder nudged you toward him, the other opening wide to welcome you into a hug.

You went easily, your arms wrapping around his bare waist as you tucked your face into his chest. The relief you felt at his reassurance was immense, and you melted into his touch. It was almost strange how well you fit together.

“Let’s sit,” he said, kind yet firm. He led you over to the couch, settling himself down into the spot where he seemed to have spent much of the past day in.

You didn’t know what possessed you to straddle his lap in the way you did last night. Maybe it was the way he looked at you warmly without judgment, or the way your body craved his nearness after getting a taste of his touch. But whatever it was, he didn’t push you away – rather, he reached for your hands, interlacing his fingers with your own.

This position wasn’t the most “innocent” to begin with, but with the memories of last night rushing through your head, of his teeth at your neck and the pleasure you felt, your breath sped up.

With the expression on Seokjin’s face, you were sure he must have been thinking the same thing, hungry eyes flickering from your lips back up to your waiting gaze. Unlike you, however, he didn’t seem at all embarrassed.

“Are you confused?” he asked suddenly.

Caught off guard by the sudden question, your brows furrowed. Though you didn’t know just exactly what he was referring to, what will all that happened, but your answer was still the same regardless.

You nodded hesitantly, but he didn’t speak, your puzzled expression telling him that you were still working things out in your head. The silence stretched on until you finally spoke up again.

“You didn’t tell me it would be like... that.” Euphoric. Dreamlike. Intense. No matter what word you used, it still didn’t feel enough to encompass what you experienced the night before. You’d never experienced white-hot physical and even emotional pleasure like that, not in all your years of life.

You dropped your gaze down to your joined hands, watching the way he fiddled with your fingers as he pondered his next words. It felt unusual to have a conversation with him in this way – you both tended to be people who said what they thought without thinking on it too much, with friends at least. But it was reassuring to see him so serious, to see that he really did care.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it was a possibility,” he finally said. He sounded confident in his words, but you found it odd that he was fidgeting so much. He hadn’t stopped moving his hands since taking hold of yours, and even his legs were starting to shift beneath yours. Why did he seem so nervous?

“What does that mean?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” he responded instead, leaving you staring at him, baffled.

“Huh?” you replied, immediately defensive.

You didn’t have the smallest idea of what that question meant, but he fixed his gaze on you inquisitively. Did he think you had some big secret or something? Sure, he didn’t know everything about your life, but there was nothing so exceptional about you that not mentioning it would be some sort of betrayal.

“Uhh, never mind.”

“What do you mean, never mind? You can’t just ask me something like then and then say that,” you huffed, lips forming a thin line.

“Sorry I just thought – do you remember what I told you when you asked if it would hurt?”

You swore he was going to give you whiplash with his questions, but at least this one was easy to answer.

“Sure, you said the closer two people are the better it feels. Something like that, right?”

“Right, so, uhh, it wouldn’t normally feel that intense, you know?”

The fact that he definitely seemed to know exactly what was going on and kept beating around the bush was more than a little bit frustrating. Considering he was normally as straightforward as a person could get, though, you opted to simple stare expectantly at him. But if he didn’t cut to the point in approximately 20 seconds, your annoyance would just about outweigh your concern.

“It shouldn’t feel that way unless you liked me back,” he finally said, all in one breath.

You could only blink blankly as you processed his words, but when it clicked, you went from mildly annoyed to incredibly flustered all in the same second.

“HUH?! Wait, back?” You could almost feel your headache coming back with how many directions this conversation has taken in less than 15 minutes. Your hands were starting to feel disgustingly clammy in his, but neither of you moved to separate them.

“I know this is so sudden, and I didn’t expect to be outed like this either and it doesn’t have to mean anything, like I know I like you a lot, like a lot a lot, but I don’t really know how much you feel about me or if it’s even that significant or just a passing attraction because either is possible and I’m really sorry if this made everything awkward-”

His ridiculously fast words were cut off by your newly-free hand clamping down over his mouth, plump lips tickling your skin as he stared at you, wide-eyed. You were sure if you tried this any other time he would (playfully) smack you, but he only stared.

“Really?” you whispered. To be completely honest, you never realistically considered a relationship, or even just a hook-up with Seokjin. You found him wholly and insanely attractive, but didn’t everyone? And it wasn’t that he was a vampire and you were a human – it was laughable to believe that you’d think that long-term anyway.

No, you just never saw him being that into you. He was almost ethereally beautiful, got along well with everyone, and had one of the most charming personalities you’d ever seen. His physique wasn’t even something that needed to be mentioned. With all that considered, all you ever cared to do was admire him from afar, content to have him as a close friend. It wasn’t as though he’d ever sent you hints that he wanted otherwise, either.

So to hear that your stupid little harmless crush could actually amount to anything?

You thought things couldn’t get any more unexpected.

When he nodded his confirmation, you couldn’t keep the grin from overtaking your face.

The giddiness clear on your face and the adorable sparkle in your eye sent unquantifiable relief through him, and the second you removed your hand, he opened his mouth to speak.

But somehow you were quicker than him, your lips meeting his before a single syllable could be uttered.

Unlike last night, you didn’t kiss him like you wanted to devour him, or like your body would light on fire if you couldn’t get as close as possible. This was calmer, slower, but it didn’t take long for that to change.

His fangs weren’t out this time, but that didn’t change the fact that you gasped as soon as his teeth dug into your bottom lip. Sparks shot up your spine at the sensation, your mind unable to stop thinking about what you felt the last time you were in this same position. How good it felt to be helpless to the pleasure battering down on you, held in place by strong hands and strong arms.

He’d probably ruined teeth for you for the rest of your life.

You let him do whatever he wanted, and he groaned into your mouth when you tangled your hands in his hair. Hands gripped your ass tightly and squeezed, pulling you in closer to him.

His hands didn’t even wander much further than that, but heat flared in your core regardless. When he raised his hips to brush the bulge in his pants against your aching centre, you could only moan and grind down onto him.

The pressure against your clit through the thin material of your shorts cut off every possible train of thought, and you were pretty sure that after all this, these panties would never recover.

You felt goosebumps raise on your flesh when a hand rose, nails scraping against your scalp. You arched your neck back ever-so-slightly, and Seokjin didn’t miss a beat in detaching from your lips to mouth at the skin above your collarbone instead.

He wasn’t gentle in the way he sucked bruises into your skin, a firm hand holding your head in place while the other held your thigh, his confined length rubbing languidly into your core. You whined and tightened your grip in his hair at the brush of teeth against skin, but much to your displeasure, he pulled away from you before clothes even started coming off.

“Wait.”

“Whyyyy?” you whined petulantly. Was he really going to do this to you again? You knew he was definitely in the right to stop things last night, but there was only so much you could take.

He bit back a smirk at your neediness, thumbing gently at your protruding bottom lip as he resisted the urge to tease you for your cuteness. This soft and pouty side of you was new to him, and he swore something fluttered in his chest.

“You should eat something, princess.”

“Huh?” you blinked, confused. You were about to protest when he spoke up again.

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Uhh... dinner last night? Maybe 7? 8?”

He leaned in toward you, but rather than kiss you again, he reached for the table behind you. You craned your neck to see what he was doing, and frowned when he grabbed for his phone. Your bewilderment at what he was doing didn’t last long, however, his phone screen displaying the time for you in large, white font.

5:32 pm.

“Holy shit, I slept for that long?” You stared at him wide-eyed. No wonder he took a shower and everything. You were surprised he was sat there waiting for you for all those hours without complaint.

He looked a bit sheepish, tossing his phone to the side and leaning back into the couch, tugging you with him comfortably. At this point the fire you felt had been dimmed, but that didn’t mean you weren’t still a bit irritated at being denied twice in a row.

“Ah, that would be my fault... the compulsion really gave you hell,” he winced, stroking gently at your cheek with the back of his fingers.

“It’s fine, I feel okay. Wasn’t that my fault anyway?” Your face felt hot thinking back to your behaviour and the lack of restraint you showed, hand rubbing nervously at the back of your neck.

“Of course not,” he assured quickly. “It’s not exactly something easy to resist. But if you regret it, I’m really sor-”

“I don’t regret it!” you cut him off, immediately wanting to pinch yourself for being so loud. And hasty. And embarrassing. And horny. “I’m... I’m happy right now.” Your volume seemed to die as confidence left you, but Seokjin only beamed.

“I’m happy too,” he said simply, tone laced with sincerity. “But you need to eat, I can practically hear your intestines screaming from here.”

“What?!” Strange tension successfully killed, your hands covered your abdomen instinctively as though you could shield yourself from his vampire ears. “Can you actually?”

He let you stare at him in alarm for only a few seconds before he couldn’t hold his giggles back anymore.

“Not really, but you should have seen your face. Why are you so worried about it?”

You huffed, shoulders deflating at his teasing. “I don’t know! That has to be a breach of privacy or something. Who gave you the right to listen to my intestines?”

“I can already hear your heart just fine, would it really matter so much?”

The smile dropped from his lips within a second, and the sudden intensity in his gaze had you frozen. The energy in the room shifted in an instant, and you were at a complete loss for words.

You thought he was going in for a kiss when he leaned closer, but instead his nose went to nuzzle at your neck, trailing up into your hairline. The warm air he exhaled into your ear made you shiver, pressing yourself ever so closer to his bare chest. You didn’t know how he managed to work you up within seconds, but you felt so hot despite his cool touch, baring your neck for him.

“I can hear the way your heart speeds up when I get close...” he whispered, mouthing lazily at your soft skin before sucking harshly. Unsure of what to do with yourself, your nails dug into his biceps, breath unsteady.

“I can hear the way the blood rushes through your veins, the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.” A hand rose to palm at your breast, bare beneath the worn cotton of your shirt. You arched your back as he harshly rolled a hard nipple between his fingers.

“I can hear the way you lose your breath, your tiny little gasps...” You couldn’t hide the way you twitched when sharp fangs scraped against your skin, a whimper nearly making its way from your throat. “Just like that.”

“And just so you know...” His voice was like honey, warm and smooth and sweet, and you hung onto his every word. “I can hear the way your stomach is growling right now too.”

The noise you let out that moment was inhumane, somewhere between a squeak and a scream of disbelief.

He broke away from you with a blaring laugh, shoulders bouncing beneath your grip.

You moved to slap at his chest, but your hand was caught easily, and his laughter only continued. God, you were going to kill this man. Again.

Your face felt obscenely hot, and you could feel a pout overtaking your lips at the sight of him still giggling away in front of you.

“Jinnie,” you whined, choosing to display your discontent by breaking free of his grip and hopping up out of his lap.

Which was definitely not the correct choice, because you swore you could feel the rush of blood through your ears before a strong sense of vertigo washed over you, groan escaping your lips. You were sure you would have fallen face first into the floor if not for Seokjin’s steadying.

“Woah, do you feel okay? This is why I told you to eat,” he sighed, maneuvering you to lay down comfortably on the couch, sticking pillows under your head. “Just stay here and I’ll make food, okay?”

“No, wait, I can make it-”

As you attempted to push back up off the couch, he only gently pushed down with a quiet ‘tsk’ and shake of his head. As you opened your mouth to further protest, he leaned in close, the softness of his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“Be a good girl and let me take care of you, hm?”

Your breath hitched at his sudden words, only able to stare wide-eyed when he pulled away from you enough to take in your face. The look in his eyes could only be described as devious – amused yet hardened, and you didn’t know if you were imagining the crimson bleeding into the brown of his irises.

“There goes that heartbeat again,” he murmured as though sharing a secret, the tender motion of his hand on your cheek in stark contrast to the want etched into his expression. “You’re going to be so much fun to ruin.”

For someone who didn’t really need to eat food to survive (though you’d been told time and time again that eating was fun), Seokjin made one hell of a good cook. Granted, egg fried rice wasn’t the most difficult nor time-consuming dish to make, but that didn’t make it any less tasty. In fact, you were grateful for such a simple and light dish, because you learned quite quickly that after an entire day without food, rushing to eat only brought nausea and discomfort.

Leaning against the armrest of the couch, the inside of your bowl was all you could see with how close you were holding it to your face. In your defence, though, you were greatly disinterested in the possibility of needing to clean a stain from your cushions.

As you took your time eating, Seokjin opted to tidy up a bit, dishes clanging in the kitchen before you heard him rearranging his shoes at the front door.

Thankfully, his efforts included removing the knife from your table and putting it god-knows-where, but you were just glad it was out of your line of sight. Maybe he thought that it was better for your appetite to remove the thing you’d literally pulled out of him.

You tried not to let your mind linger on just how... strange that felt.

He somehow managed to clean up before you’d even finished eating, the couch dipping beside you as he settled into his spot. Vampire speed truly was startling.

If you didn’t have your entire field of vision blocked, you might have noticed Seokjin’s fond look as you ate your meal at what could only be described as a forced snail’s pace. He had to suppress a chuckle at how antsy you seemed to be, clearly wanting to just shovel food into your mouth, but knowing you would only suffer for it. How did one person manage to be so cute and yet so seductive?

When you were done, you set the bowl down on the table with a satisfied sigh, jumping in surprise when a glass of water was placed into your newly-emptied hands almost immediately.

“Thanks,” you smiled shyly, face feeling hot at his attentiveness. You didn’t know how to react at having a man like Kim Seokjin doting on you. It was almost – no, it was – unbelievable, and your poor heart didn’t know how to act. It was one thing to have him kiss you like he was going to devour you, and another to be this sweet and this caring and this soft.

Setting the empty glass next to your empty bowl, you leaned back, unsure of what to do with yourself now that you were entirely unoccupied. Seokjin’s presence beside you made you increasingly aware of the awkward shifting of your hands and your uneasy breathing. He wasn’t that close to you and yet you could smell him – you didn’t know how he managed to make your floral scented shampoo smell sexy.

“Why are you so nervous?” he said lowly, nudging you into his side and tossing an arm around your shoulders. It was a simple move, and yet all you could think was how big he was, how easily he completely enveloped you in his hold.

“I-I’m not nervous,” you stuttered, and you could feel the blood rush to your face. You wondered if he could hear that, too.

A hand lifted your face in his direction, and you were met with an expression that very clearly read ‘are you really going to try lying to a vampire?’

“I don’t know why I’m nervous,” you amended, biting into your lower lip. His gaze followed the motion, eyes clouding over.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, his thumb raising to release your lip from your teeth, the movement intimate enough to set your stomach aflutter.

“Are we asking that now?” you responded smartly, grinning when Seokjin only huffed a laugh.

“Let me be clearer then,” he said lowly, the abrupt commanding tone having you sit up straighter. “Can I kiss you, strip you, take you to bed, taste that sweet pussy on my tongue, and then fuck you?”

Heat flared in you at the words, your fingernails scratching against his chest before remembering he wasn’t wearing a shirt for you to yank him closer. You settled for making a beeline for his mouth, but a quick movement to grip your hair at the scalp kept you from getting close enough.

“Ah, ah,” he tutted, holding you still as he nuzzled his nose against your neck, humming in content when he brushed right against the spot he bit you yesterday. “Tell me yes or no, princess.”

You nodded with what freedom you had left – not much, with how tight his hold on you was, tiny pricks of pain sending sparks up and down your spine. His other hand pulled you closer to him, your hips halfway straddling him as he mouthed at your neck, acting as though he hadn’t noticed your response. It was clear that he was waiting for you to say something.

“Yes,” you said quietly, nearly forgetting what the question was from the way he was sucking softly at your neck. At the scrape of fangs against your skin, you only pushed back against the hand in your hair, exposing more of your neck with a soft sigh.

“You can’t stop thinking about it, can you?” he taunted, pulling you fully on top of him, his hard cock right against your core, and you wished that clothing wasn’t separating you.

He pressed those fangs against the soft skin below your ear, hard enough that the pain had you wincing, but not enough to break skin.

He was teasing you, and you were putty in his hands.

“I can’t stop thinking about it either,” he breathed, tonguing lazily over the stinging marks he left behind. You could only whimper and squirm in his hold, hands tangling in his silken hair. You didn’t know whether you wanted to pull him away or push him closer.

“To have you moaning in rapture right in my lap, so desperate for my cock, the taste of you on my lips...” His voice was so low you could barely hear it, barely process it, but the absolutely lust in his voice only spurred new waves of arousal in you. “Hearing you beg like that, fuck-”

He cut himself off with a sinful moan as he shifted his hips to rub himself right against your cunt, and you shuddered in response.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone so bad,” he sighed, breathing unsteady as he used his grip on you to rock you in time to his movements. “I’ve never had such a test of self-control. Maybe I should punish you.”

This voice was teasing, but your reaction was real, and there was no way to hide the way a moan escaped or the way your nails dug crescents into Seokjin’s smooth skin.

“Oh, you like that, do you?” he chuckled darkly as he leaned his head back into the couch, the grip in your hair tightening even more. A helpless whine left your lips, and you became uncomfortably aware of the way your panties were sticking to your folds.

“Tell me, do you think I should punish you?” he asked, his honeyed voice lulling you into a state you couldn’t even begin to explain with words.

You tried nodding again, hissing at the flash of pain when you tried move your head from his grip.

“Princess, haven’t you learned to use your words? I think I’ll bend you over my knee right here. What do you think about that?”

“Please,” you gasped without hesitation, freezing when you fluttered your eyelids open to meet his gaze.

If you weren’t sure whether his eyes were laced with red before, it was evident now. It only made him all the more enticing, and your vision fell down to his mouth instinctively when he ran his tongue over his teeth. A pang of heat went through you when his fangs bit into his lip, and before you were thinking about it, a hand rose to brush against his mouth.

Your thumb grazed a fang almost reverently, and Seokjin only watched on fondly at the wonderment on your face. You supposed it might have been strange to touch your friend’s – boyfriend’s? – teeth like this, but you had always been curious. Hell, you hadn’t even seen fangs in person before last night. As far as you knew, they only extended when feeding or when feeling strong emotions, and neither tended to be something you could casually see on the street.

You bit at your lip when sharpness pushed into the pad of your finger, but his next words broke you free of your reverie.

“Bend over then.”

He released you from his grip dizzyingly fast, leaning back to watch you.

You were surprised at yourself with how quickly you situated your ass over his lap, the self-consciousness you would’ve expected to be feeling wholly absent. Seokjin was just that captivating.

You wiggled your way into a comfortable position, sticking a cushion under your head. Now that your ass was sticking out right into his view, you felt more vulnerable than ever, knowing that his eyes and ears were trained on your every movement and reaction.

Hands pushed your long shirt up over your hips, fingers trailing lightly over the globes of your ass, separated only by the thin fabric of your shorts. But not for long.

Fingers reached under your waistband and tugged down before you could react, yanking your shorts and panties down in one go.

With air suddenly hitting your sodden pussy, you could feel heat rise to your face at how exposed you found yourself. But any thought of shifting and hiding was erased when you heard Seokjin’s loud groan.

“Shit, you’re soaked, smell so fucking good,” he hissed, fingers reaching to push messily through your folds.

You couldn’t see him putting his fingers in his mouth, but the depraved moan he let out afterward had you squirming in his lap.

After your shorts and panties were pushed onto the floor, a large hand ran tenderly over the skin of your ass, fingers digging in slightly.

“Is ten on each side too much for you?” he asked. There was no hint of teasing in his tone, his voice firm. He continued his soft stroking as he waiting for an answer.

“Uhh... I don’t really know?” you responded meekly. Sure, you had been spanked before, but it was never this... structured? To be honest, you didn’t really know what “a lot” would be in terms of numbers.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. “We’ll work our way up and see how it feels. Is that okay?”

You nodded at first, but quickly let out an ‘okay’ when you remembered how firm he was on a proper response.

“This means I’m trusting you to be honest and tell me to stop if it’s too much. I want you to feel good.”

“Okay.”

You released tension you didn’t realize you’d had at his reassurances, allowing your limbs to loosen as you adjusted to lay more comfortably. The sensation of his hands on you made you feel safe and secure, and you knew for a fact that for all his hard words and cold stares, he was still always searching for your approval.

You twitched in surprise as a few light swats came down on each cheek, almost as though he was testing the motion. But after being briefly taken off guard, you relaxed under his hands, body already warming up at each light blow. You barely felt anything aside from a faint sting, but you could already feel your cunt throbbing, anticipation having you dig your nails into the cushion beneath you.

But even despite his preparation, the first real blow had you gasping. Not because it was overly painful – in fact, those pinpricks of pain were laced with pleasure, radiating outward from where his palm had firmly struck you. No, it was more that with the control and precision he showed, another realization struck you at that moment.

He really knew what he was doing.

This wasn’t just a college boyfriend who wanted to experiment with things he saw in porn, or a random bar hookup who thought he was more than he was.

No, Seokjin was the epitome of calculated control, had you eating out of the palm of his hand with one simple word. One look and you were his.

And fuck, if that didn’t make you melt.

You sighed happily as a hit came down on your other asscheek, another wave of arousal soaking your cunt.

“Do you want it harder?” he asked, voice low. The tone felt almost like a personal attack, honeyed words piercing your eardrums.

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Yes or no. Don’t just agree to do things because I suggest it,” he scolded, punishing you with a swat to your upper thigh that stung sharper than his previous blows.

“Yes, I want it.”

“Hm,” he hummed, nails scratching over your skin, just barely missing the heat of your core. “I think I would be more convinced if you begged.”

As much as most of your embarrassment had already faded, what with being bent over Seokjin’s lap, it took so much more to put your desires verbally out into the world. But the throbbing in your cunt was fierce, and the warmth from his previous strikes was already fading. And you wanted more.

“Please,” you whined weakly before taking a deep breath to amp yourself up. “Please, Jinnie, I want it harder.”

You barely had time to process the tiny chuckle he let out before his palm came down on you again, the additional force behind it making you shiver despite the warmth that spread through you.

You didn’t know exactly how many more times his hand struck your ass, but your quiet moans were interrupted by his voice once again.

“Harder?”

As much as you felt good, it still wasn’t enough. The sting wasn’t enough, the heat wasn’t enough. You wanted more, needed more.

“Yes, please.”

“Mm, there you go. Maybe I should do this more often if you’re going to be such a good girl for me after.”

He punctuated his statement with a harsh blow to your ass, the strength of it forcing a moan from your lungs. A hand stroked tenderly over where it had struck, before doing the same to the other cheek. You whimpered as you felt another gush of wetness spill from your cunt, squirming as another strike rained down.

Yes, this is what you wanted.

The feeling was heady, your mouth open and allowing all the sounds to spill from your lips. Every cell in your body felt hot, from your fingertips down to your toes. You were certain you must have been making a mess of his lap with how wet you were.

You didn’t realize how heavily you were breathing until the smacks stopped, fingers gently kneading at the raw skin instead. Your skin felt almost burned, but more than anything, you needed those hands to slip between your legs. Now that there was nothing else to distract you, your neglected pussy was desperate for something, anything.

“How are you?” he asked several moments later.

His continued soothing touch dampened the fire of your skin before long, but that only furthered your arousal, shifting in his lap in search of some relief. You itched for some pressure on your clit, but it wasn’t possible in the position he had you in.

“Good,” you breathed, pressing back into his touch.

“Good.” He let his fingers creep ever-so-closer to where you needed him most, rubbing against where your wetness had spread, just beside your outer folds. “I think you deserve a reward. What do you think?”

“Please,” you whined immediately, but luckily, he didn’t seem interested in making you wait any longer. Maybe it was the fact that he had been waiting just as long, or that he was just tired of your constant fidgeting in his lap.

A finger slid in without resistant – unsurprisingly, what with the way you could feel the air hitting your slick skin. Your walls clamped down on the intrusion immediately, and another finger slid down to rub tiny circles onto your clit.

You whined in relief, but Seokjin unfortunately held you down to keep you from thrusting back onto his hand.

“So fucking wet,” he murmured, slipping another finger in when he felt how easily you took the first.

As much as one didn’t feel like enough, two of his fingers was so much bigger than your own. The stretch had you gasping, the friction against your walls and clit making you moan out.

As he scissored his fingers inside of you, the slight burn had you hissing, though the constant ministrations on your clit made sure the pain never became your focus.

“Mm, are you sure you can take my cock?” he mused, smirking at the way you were already whimpering, increasing the pace of his thrusts as your moans got more frequent.

“I can!” you blurted out, sounding almost offended. He had to stifle a laugh. You had always been fun to rile up, and sex was no exception.

“Hm, okay,” he hummed, amusement colouring his tone. You almost called him out on it before his fingers pulled out of you abruptly.

“Jin-”

Before you could question him, beg him to come back, hold him against you – three fingers started easing their way inside of you.

You tensed up almost immediately at the harsher burn at your entrance, the stiffness of your body not doing you much of a favour. He paused all movement at your struggle.

“Relax. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

His words had you feeling more at ease, a reminder that he was here, he wanted you to feel good, and he only kept on making that fact clear.

You made a noise of agreement, forcing your muscles to relax despite how much they wanted to clamp down. You wanted his cock, after all. You could take his fingers.

He took his time with you, slowly easing his fingers in and scissoring them apart, all the while his other hand resting beneath your abdomen, rubbing into your clit. You keened under his continuous murmured praise, moaning as he began to thrust his fingers.

“That’s it,” he whispered, his own breaths beginning to get heavy as he watched you twitch and whine at his hand.

Once the discomfort passed, your pleasure crested ridiculously fast with how long you’ve been waiting to be touched, filled. He stretched you open so wide, and you clenched around his digits at the thought of those fingers being his cock instead.

You were easily giving yourself away with how your walls were clamping down more and more, heavier gasps leaving you. The stroking at your clit wasn’t getting any slower, and soon enough you felt like you were going to snap.

“Gonna come all over my fingers, princess?” he asked roughly, his voice showing an uncharacteristic lack of control as he spread his fingers wide again.

“Please,” you said feebly, all other words having left your available vocabulary long ago. “Please.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you, baby.” The crook of his fingers took you by surprise, and with one, two, strokes against that spongy spot within you, you were gone.

Your orgasm stole the breath from your lungs, your legs going weak as waves of bliss hit you everywhere at once. His hands on you didn’t stop their motions, only sending new waves up your spine, shivers wracking your body as you grasped the closest object tightly – your nails digging into the cushion beneath you.

He only stopped when you started to squirm away as pain took over the pleasure, a whimper escaping as his fingers were removed.

If you thought you were getting a moment to breathe, you were wrong.

“Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me,” he growled.

Before you could blink, you were on your back, his lips attacking yours in a frenzy.

The grip he had on your thigh was sure to bruise, his still-clothed cock rocking into your sensitive pussy as he consumed your every thought, every desire.

You could taste yourself on his tongue, the realization only building the fire that had already been relit within you.

You allowed him to pull the shirt from your body, your skin left completely bare beneath his.

His gaze was somewhere between reverent and demonic, and he looked almost ready to pounce back on you before he paused.

“Bed?” His voice sounded strained, and you thought briefly back to what he said about how much self-control the past day has required from him. You glanced down at the bulge in his pants, and you had to keep yourself from grabbing at it, eager to give him his pleasure the same way he’d done for you.

“Okay.”

You didn’t think your lips formed the second syllable before you were being scooped up, your arms looping around his neck to steady yourself from the abrupt movement.

The walk to the bedroom was somewhat of a blur, your stomach lurching at the speed with which he moved. You’d known the man was quick, but experiencing it firsthand was partly unsettling, and partly... strangely sexy.

Your back hit the sheets with unexpected force, your body bouncing back up from the impact. You’d never considered strength to be such a significant turn-on, but combined with everything else about him, it seemed to make Seokjin the most dangerously attractive man you’ve ever encountered.

You thought you were about to get fucked into the mattress – the hunger in Seokjin’s stare only cementing the thought – but it seemed that he had other ideas.

“Jin-”

You were about to beg him to touch you, fuck you, do literally anything – when his hands wrapped around your ankles, spreading your legs apart enough that you could begin to feel the strain in your thighs.

The way he was gazing at your fully exposed core almost made you self-conscious before you took in the way his breathing was heavier than you’d ever seen it, the crimson completely having taken over the brown of his irises.

“I have – I have to taste you,” he groaned.

He sprung on you in an instant, plush lips wrapping around your clit and sucking before his tongue moved down to lap at your arousal.

While you were still a bit sensitive from your last orgasm, the discomfort was nothing in comparison to the bliss lighting up your nerves. You were a slave to pleasure under his tongue, hands holding you down as you attempted to buck up into him instinctively.

His tongue attacked you like a man starved, his unabashed moans into your heat leaving you gasping.

But as much as he was successfully making you lose your mind, you didn’t want to cum like this.

“Jin, fuck-” you whimpered, body aching to grind up into his face despite your next words.

He only hummed into your pussy at your noises, motions not pausing whatsoever.

“Fuck me, please,” you begged, a hand winding into his hair in an attempt to pull him off you.

You almost thought he was pretending not to hear you when he didn’t react straightaway, but not long after, he pulled off of you.

He didn’t even say a word in response, only shucking off his pants and boxers with a heaving chest.

You swore your pussy throbbed when you saw his cock, only moreso when he fisted it with a hiss, lips that were glistening with your arousal widening to reveal sharp white fangs.

“I have to be inside you right fucking now,” he snarled, dragging your body down by the thighs to meet him where he knelt.

You felt almost feverish, your hands reaching to yank Seokjin by the shoulders, the need to be closer taking over your every thought.

He kissed you frantically as the head of his cock rubbed against your clit, your back arching up into him, his closeness still not close enough for you.

You were so close to pleading with him not to draw this out, but he settled himself against your entrance, his other arm supporting himself by your head. When he started to push in, you could only whimper.

You knew he was big when he grasped himself in his hand only moments before, but for all his preparation, it felt like you were being split open.

You clung onto his biceps as he rocked himself forward at a snail’s pace, nails digging into his skin as you clamped down on him reflexively. It burned, but you wanted it so bad. As much as the discomfort was intense, you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second, unable to stop panting into Seokjin’s mouth.

You whined as he nibbled at your bottom lip, one of his hands rubbing soothing circles into your thigh, the other in your hair. But when you felt fangs puncture your lip ever-so-slightly before he sucked it into his mouth, all breath was stolen from you.

It was only the smallest fraction of the pleasure you felt the night before, but that was enough to have your head thrown back, hips raising to meet Seokjin’s.

It almost seemed that he wasn’t expecting you to thrust upward onto him, a strangled groan leaving his throat as you shoved more of him inside you.

The stretch remained overwhelming, but the pain felt like a distant memory, new arousal making the glide smoother.

“Good?” he gasped against your collarbone, hot breaths hitting your skin as his hair brushed against your face. The arm holding him up was trembling at your side, the fingers on your thigh tightening their hold as if to physically hold himself together.

Part of you just wanted him to lose control.

“So good,” you moaned, shoving your hips up again, volume increasing exponentially when he allowed you to push him in to the hilt.

“Fuck,” he growled, arm moving to form a bruising grip on your other thigh, his chest moving away from yours. “Are you that desperate for it?”

The question was accompanied by a sharp snap of his hips that sent you reeling, too breathless for any sound to escape.

He spread your thighs apart even further, a hand beneath your left knee lifting your leg towards his chest.

The next quick thrust hit you even harder at that angle, a choked-out whine escaping you. Your fingers dug into the sheets as he ground himself into you, your pussy feeling split so overwhelmingly wide.

You were wound up so tight, you thought you were going to go crazy. It was impossible to think straight when he only did quick snaps of his hips at random intervals. You didn’t think you’d ever been hornier than this moment, and you swore you could feel the arousal leaking from your cunt.

You could see sparks of light behind your eyelids with how tightly you had them shut. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, the flesh still tender from Seokjin’s bite.

His thrusts became slow and deep, tiny gasps leaving your open mouth.

“Look at me,” he snarled suddenly, the sheer command in his voice sending shivers up your spine, gaze snapping onto him immediately. It took a moment for your vision to focus properly, still drowning in the sensation of his cock still moving within you.

If you thought he looked fierce, hungry, dangerous – you were his polar opposite.

To put it simply, you were a mess.

You were too lost in it all to notice the stutter in his hips when he locked eyes with you, but he almost stopped breathing entirely.

Your eyes were glazed over in pleasure, the tears just beginning to gather there only making their colour all the more enticing. Your expression was slack, and it looked like you couldn’t decide between clamping down on your bottom lip or leaving your mouth wide-open. You looked so vulnerable, so willing to put all of your trust in him to take care of you, make you feel good.

And fuck, if it wasn’t the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

His movements after that caught you off guard, his abrupt rough thrusting engulfing your body in flames of bliss, loud moan leaving you. As much as holding his gaze made everything feel so much more intense, you just couldn’t. Your head fell back onto the pillow, back arching as much as he would allow you to move in his tight hold.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, his voice sounding almost helpless and he continued his movements, his arms the only thing keeping you from shifting up the mattress. As his gasps transitioned to groans and then loud moaning, you could feel yourself nearing your peak again.

He slowed his movements, the heavy panting reaching your eardrums and having you clench around him instinctively. The choked-out groan in response told you he was close, too.

“Jin,” you called out, the word so breathy that you almost didn’t recognize it despite it coming from your own lips.

You raised an arm to weakly grab at his body, hoping he got the message himself. You wanted him close, but highly doubted that you could manage to form the words right now.

Luckily, he seemed to know exactly what you wanted, dropping your leg and moving to hover over you, your breasts brushing his chest. He started thrusting slowly again, his head dropping to your collarbone as a hand wound into the hair at your scalp.

With him right on top of you, his pubic bone was brushing against your clit, the added stimulation having you whine loudly and dig your nails harshly into the skin of his back.

He didn’t seem to mind, a loud groan leaving him as he started mouthing at your neck, sucking bruises into the flesh.

But when you felt fangs briefly scrape over your skin, only one thought came to mind and refused to leave.

You wanted it, wanted his fangs to sink into you, wanted to feel that again. Now.

“Bite me,” you whimpered, pushing your head into the pillow and arching your back, eager to give him free reign as your orgasm inched closer and closer.

You expected him to protest, expected him to deny you, expected him to pull away.

But he did none of those things.

Instead, fangs sunk deeply into your neck with a feral growl, almost as soon as he heard the words leave your lips.

That same immense burst of pain rendered you motionless for a split second before that all-consuming euphoria descended on you.

You vaguely registered Seokjin moaning loudly above you as his hips stuttered, his lips locked on your neck. But you felt almost disconnected from the world, as though every nerve in your body was firing, your cunt pulsating around him as you reached the strongest high you’d ever felt.

It felt almost instinctual to grip at his back tightly, pulling him close, as if he’d ever want to leave. You didn’t even realize how loud you were being, your peak only going higher and higher, to the point of being overwhelming.

Tears streamed from where your eyes were clamped shut, moans turning into sobs as Seokjin ground against your overstimulated clit, your pussy clenched around him tightly.

You were so far gone you didn’t even notice the warmth spilling into you as he groaned loudly into your skin, his movements slowing before he pulled his mouth from you.

The crash was almost immediate, exhaustion and soreness taking over your limbs as you gasped for breath, the hands on Seokjin’s back falling limp. It felt like all the strength was sapped from your body, your consciousness half-absent.

You thought you heard Seokjin fussing over you, his hands wiping tears from your face, but to be honest, it was all a blur. He disconnected with you easily despite your mumbled protests, dropping a kiss on your forehead with a soft command not to move. You didn’t think you were capable of such a thing anyway.

You hardly registered his absence before he was back with a wet cloth. You didn’t know if that was because of his speed or because you were too tired to pay attention.

The next thing you knew, he had rolled you to lay on top of him, your face tucked into his neck as he stroked at your back. Normally, you might have complained about how much colder he was than you, but your skin was still so heated that the coolness was a relief.

You could tell that he was saying something quietly, unsure whether he was asking you something or not. His voice only brought you warm comfort, your arm moving to wrap around his waist.

You honestly weren’t too sure how long you laid there until your senses started coming back to you, but the hand on your back never stopped its soothing motions. The realization made you strangely embarrassed, wondering how long you’ve been out of it.

“Did I fall asleep?” you mumbled, nuzzling into the softness of Seokjin’s neck.

“Not really, it hasn’t been too long,” he responded, though the way he paused made it seem that he had more to say. It took a few moments before he got the words out. “Did I go too hard? Was it too much?”

Despite the low volume of his voice, he sounded almost frantic, and your brows furrowed. Why was he so worried?

“Of course not. I asked you for it, I knew exactly what I was getting into.”

He sighed heavily, his hands on you pausing. “I know, I just – I got worried when you were barely responding to me. I guess I was just afraid that you would be scared of me after.”

You felt a tinge of guilt at his concern, but logically it was nobody’s fault. As much as you wanted to take his face in your hands and tell him that you don’t regret anything and there wasn’t a world where you could ever be scared of him, you doubted your ability to do so right now. Instead, you hoped that simple reassurance could be enough.

“I loved it,” you said plainly, sleepiness clear in your voice. You were fighting past the fog in your brain to talk to him, wanting to make sure he knew where you stood.

“I loved it too,” he whispered before bringing up the blanket to cover both of you. “You sound tired. Why don’t we sleep?”

“Wait.”

“Hm?” he hummed in response, his confused expression hid from your view.

“Are you my boyfriend?” Your words sounded almost slurred with how close you were to unconsciousness, but his chest bouncing as he chuckled told you that he heard you just fine.

You were dangerously close to dreamland, but you caught his answer right before you fell asleep in his arms.

“Yeah, I’m your boyfriend.”

#btsgoldnet #btsguild #ficswithluv #heartsforbts #hyunglinenetwork #magicshopnet #mikrogalaxynet #bts x reader #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #bts smut #jin smut #seokjin smut #bts fluff #jin fluff #seokjin fluff #bts fanfic #bts fic

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infernal-fire · 4 years ago

Text

five types of love.

what to expect: smut, swearing, friends w/ benefits arrangement, mention of Imposter syndrome, fluff, angst, heartbreak, overstimulation, implied creampie, rough sex

a/n: a little warning; you will be choosing your ending - there is a happy one and a sad one. a huge shoutout to @mollygetssherlockcoffee and @angrybirdcr for talking to me about the fic and offering such amazing advice! and @tuiccim was so damn lovely, even offered to beta this (though all mistakes are my own).

summary: you once heard that there were eight types of love. you only knew of five; the five that caused you to fall for one, blue-eyed menace.

Ludus: uncommitted, casual love that can attribute to a flirtatious and fun conquest. Not to be mistaken for Eros.

“I think we’re forgetting the reason why the mission failed in the first place. If the older fellow took a suggestion once in a-”

“-Tony, you know damn well that there were civilians in there.”

Steve and Tony glared at each other from across the briefing room. The tension in the room was exorbitant, but then again, it had been that way since Bucky joined the team.

“This is exactly why we need the new girl. You super-soldiers and billionaires are getting tangled up in each others’ asses and forgetting about what it’s like for the normal people,” Rhodey sighed.

“The last thing we need is another trainee fucking up orders,” Tony snorted and began messing with his tech. The projector flipped through random screens, FRIDAY most likely filtering out the irrelevant news.

“If you have a problem, maybe you should say it to his face,” Steve seethed, now standing up to match Tony’s stance. Usually, this type of jab at Bucky wouldn’t rile him up, but the super-soldier was at his wit’s end following the events of the latest mission.

Beside him, Bucky lightly tugged on his friend’s hand, signalling him to disengage.

“You’re with them?” Tony incredulously questioned Rhodey.

“I’m with the idea of calming this room down.”

“Besides, she’s already been prepped for her first mission,” Natasha piped up. “We’re supposed to have a sit-down in 5 minutes... that is, if you boys can get your shit together.”

The room broke out into a chorus of muttering and everyone settled in their seats again. Captain strode to the front of the room and pulled up his game plan, fiddling with the map FRIDAY was projecting.

You, on the other hand, could not decide how to act in front of the Avengers: Laidback? They wouldn’t take you seriously. Know-it-all? No, that was Stark’s play. Timid Tiffany? If you wanted to seem secretly conceited? Sure. That would work for now.

When Vision floated out to bring you in, you didn’t even flinch at the unforeseen phasing. Impressed at your lack of a reaction, Vision faltered before ever-so-courteously introducing himself.

Could this sentient being laugh of his own volition? You gave him your name and dramatically curtsied to test your theory; he could laugh, and you were pleasantly surprised to find that it was not at all robotic.

You felt the room intently eye you as you ambled to your seat beside one, blue-eyed menace. You half-expected the team to introduce themselves, but who were you kidding - anyone could hear the argument from three corridors away. There was no point in pretending like they wanted you here, but that wouldn’t deter you.

You glanced at your neighbour, met with the pleasant face of the one and only. James Buchanan Barnes was known to be a handsome devil, but the reputation of the Winter Soldier often precedes him; that, unfortunately, does not stop you from eyeing him.

When he caught your stare, you scolded yourself. You’re such a creep.

When he smirked at your ogling, you praised yourself. Oh, hello there.

This is gonna be fun.

Eros: sexual, passionate love that is fueled by lust.

It didn’t happen after the first mission; he had the decency to wait until the fourth mission to knock on your door.

You had been putting away the last of your belongings, finally adjusting to the grandiose living conditions the Avengers Tower provided.

As soon as you unlocked your knob, the door flung open; Bucky's stare was partially inhibited by his hooded eyes. He hadn’t always looked at you like that.

Like what?

With unadulterated craving.

That day, he strode in like he owned the place. You didn’t expect the shove that caused you to land on your bed with an oomph. Bucky wasted no time, climbing onto your form, straddling you. By the time you understood what was happening, a single finger was pressed into your lips.

“Either tell me you don’t want this right fucking now,” he leaned in, close to your face, “or shut the fuck up and let me use you.”

You whimpered in response.

“Not good enough.”

“Use me.”

That’s all the affirmation he needed.

You pushed off the bed to try and meet his lips but he firmly pinned you down by your shoulders. Bucky reached into your panties and circled your clit without hesitation. It only took some swivelling, his intense gaze and the unexpected plunge of his fingers in your channel to make you see stars. Bucky had made you come before kissing you.

When he finally slotted his lips against yours, it was nothing short of all-consuming; you hadn’t even realized the absence of clothes on your body. Had it been ten minutes? Or thirty? It was hard to tell when you were being ravaged by another.

He made you come twice more: once with his fingers’ repeated dipping and pressing into the soft, spongy part of your cunt. The second time was with the talented sucking and flicking of his tongue. Technically, it was the third time.

None of your past partners had been this steadfast in their duty to pleasure you. You were already putty in his hands, ready to be moulded according to his needs. Part of you was ready to tap out, unable to fathom the likelihood of coming over his cock again, but the better half of you needed it.

In your orgasmic haze, you failed to notice that his clothes were being discarded - if you did, it would have given you the opportunity to gawk at the body that you so desperately wanted to see shirtless. When you finally registered his naked person, your hand involuntarily traced the connection between the metal arm and flesh. He threw his head back and groaned before kissing you again.

He pulled off, just enough to get a good look.

“Look at you, all fucked out. I didn’t even put my cock in.”

He pumped his shaft with fervour before pushing the blunt head against your slit. You winced at his attempt to put it in.

“Made you cum three times and you’re still too fucking tight,” he muttered and ran his length up and down your folds. Once he had accumulated enough slick he tried again, this time, successful.

You moaned as he slowly sunk in and buried his cock to its absolute limit. If the walls of your pussy had a voice, it would be absolutely hoarse. You also realized that he only bestowed the three orgasms in hopes of reprieving the pain of the stretch. Without the preparation, he might have torn you in half.

When he began moving, the only thing that was slow or soft about him was his lips against your skin. The thrusts were punishing; if it wasn’t obvious that he was angry before, this made it clear as day.

You screamed and moaned, alternating between keening and arching your back; the pleas did nothing to falter his furious pace. The smacking of your skin was only heightened by the slick that your cunt produced in attempts to accommodate his length. Every time he pulled out, his balls were connected to your sex with a string of come.

If someone told you that you could come five times within forty minutes, you would have face painted and dressed them up like a clown.

Now you laid in bed, being used like a rag doll, begging Bucky to stop you from coming a sixth time that session. It was usually the dirty talk that got you off, but he hadn’t said anything aside from the occasional ‘shut up’ or ‘shhh’. His movements alone had you convulsing around his length.

His thrusts didn’t get sloppy. Rather, they increased in force, as his cock sought space beyond your cervix. You tried to scream, but all that came out was more broken tears and cries. At last, he let out a pornographic moan as his load flooded your insides. Sure, you had let past boyfriends come in you, but you never actually felt the liquid shoot up inside you, until today.

Following the pop sound that his cock made as it pulled out, you whined again. You could feel your heartbeat throb down there.

He flipped you onto your stomach and smacked your ass, laughing at the way you sobbed in pain before disappearing from your room altogether.

He was gone as fast as he showed up.

And he ruined everyone else for you.

In all fairness... you asked for it.

Philia: the deep, virtuous love that is formed in a good friendship. Lovers share a strong bond when Eros and Philia feed into each other.

What started as a release from the frustrations that accrue on the battlefield turned into a deep connection that neither of you had anticipated. Sex had only been used as a tool in the act of psychological detachment until that day.

It was a failed date of some sort: either you had been stood up or the guy was a total moron. You could wrack your brain for the memory, but in any matter, it was all irrelevant now.

You were upset, not just at your lack of a love life, but at the imposter syndrome that had weaselled its way into your liveliness. Feeling like you weren’t enough was catching up to your daily life and even Bucky had noticed the hesitation during your post-mission escapades.

Before you knew it, your hand was knocking on Bucky’s door at the ripe hour of 1 AM.

You heard the muffled thumps of his footsteps and considered booking it out of there, but before you made up your mind, the door opened. As you had predicted, Bucky was wide-awake.

“What?”

You had wanted to sass him for his tone but decided against it since you were the one who interrupted his 1 AM activities. You shook your head from the clouds and mumbled incoherently, starting to walk away. The coldness of his metal arm abruptly gripped your wrist.

“Are you okay?”

You hated that question. You could be doing so good, holding in the burden of a horrible week, but the moment someone asks you that question, the dam would disintegrate into dust, only to be washed away by the inevitable waterworks.

The sob you let out didn’t loosen his hold. He let you cry and watched as you tried to wipe away the unrelenting tears, still refusing to close the gap between your bodies. Finally, you shuffled into his arms where he bear-hugged you, cupping the back of your neck and holding it to the junction of his neck.

"You smell nice,” you sniffled.

He lightly chuckled before dragging you into his room and seating you on the bed. He ordered you to stay there and rummaged around his cupboard before pulling out a bottle with red liquid sloshing around.

“You keep that in your room?” you snickered, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, before blanching at your state. Hell, he had seen you naked, how you look right now is the least of your concerns.

“In case of emergencies,” he winked. “This seems like a real emergency.”

A fresh wave of tears pooled in your waterline as you peered at your hands that were picking at each other.

“I don’t have wine glasses, so we can just chug.”

Bucky stuck out the bottle and you grasped it firmly before gulping one-fourth of it. That’s all the coaxing it took to get you to spill.

You don’t even remember what you talked about, but before either of you realized, 3 AM blinked on the digital clock that hung above the bed frame. You were almost asleep, now resting on Bucky’s lap while he occasionally hummed or offered his two cents. Right before you drifted off, the super-soldier lifted you, placing you under a cover. He climbed in from the other side, one hand cupping your face, the other snaking around your waist.

“Thanks, Buck.”

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re okay,” he whispered.

Your eyes drooped but swiftly opened as Bucky leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. His lips barely touched yours, grazing their presence, but you moved, tenderly catching them. He returned the movement, the delicacy of his actions reflected in the softness of his eyes.

You pulled away and the two of you wordlessly bore into each other’s eyes. At last, you succumbed to the fatigue, as did he; both of you resting in the others’ possession.

Mania: an unhealthy, obsessive love that plagues the mind.

It was the third time Bucky didn’t show up at your door after a mission. Three missions, each of them ending in something that would have indubitably pissed him off - after all, they were HYDRA bases. That’s when you first suspected it.

The second was when you noted his intentional avoidance of your presence. Whether it be the kitchen, the gym or the hallways, the stealthy ex-assassin didn’t have trouble actively dodging you. Initially, you chalked it up to wanting space or simply taking a break.

Then you heard it.

Why was it that your gut told you to go right then? All this time you had been biding, yet it was at this precise moment that your hunch asked you to speak to him. It could’ve been the duration of the month that it took you to prepare yourself, but it had to be now. You raised your hand, prepping to knock on the door, but stopped.

Your hand froze mid-air. The elegant laugh of another girl sounded behind the door. It was faint, the noise slightly suppressed by the wall between you.

It could be anyone.

But it wasn’t. Your intuition, the one that told you to come here right now, was wise enough to know that this wasn’t just anyone. It was her.

You cupped your mouth to stop the sob that threatened to liberate itself from the confines of your constricted airway. You fell forward, onto your knees, as if to pray to the gods to not let it happen. But it already did. You let go of your mouth, gasping for air from holding your breath all this time.

Shoulders sagged and spine bent, you stalked back to your room like a zombie. Face devoid of all emotion, you fell onto the corner of your bed and crumpled into a ball. For twelve hours, you laid there. Sometimes sleeping, other times letting the tears leak out of the corners of your eyes. Memories of his fingers weaving through your own, the pleasures that chilled you to the bone. Most of all, the way you held his head to your chest as he whimpered about the nightmares that invaded his nights. It felt like those things happened to someone else. Nothing more than a distant memory.

Your heart clenched, tugging on the heartstring that you once thought was connected to him.

It was as if he knew you stood outside his door that day. There was an unspoken agreement to never speak of it. Yes, yes, don’t ever speak of it. The dam that you built so carefully will come crashing down. He stopped avoiding you, but you wished he didn’t; it was crueller to be reminded, easier to pretend he didn’t exist.

Be honest with yourself.

You didn’t pretend like he didn’t exist.

In fact, the first thought after waking up? Bucky. Last thought before going to sleep? My Buck. Every time he wasn’t around? James Buchanan Barnes.

Please, don’t act like every waking moment isn’t spent loving him. Because deep down, you know what’s true.

He never did introduce the mystery girl to anyone at the Tower, but you knew his disappearance after missions could be credited to her. Did he take out his anger on her as he did to you? Or were you nothing more than a toy?

Guilt was one of the few emotions you could make out from the rare occasions you caught his stare. Longing was there too, but you couldn’t be sure that you weren’t projecting. Months went by, waiting for thoughts of him to abandon your disturbed mind. The time never came.

As promised, he ruined anyone else for you.

Pragma: the type of love that endures all shortcomings. Committed relationships that stay in love have an element of significant Pragma to them.

a happy ending.

That relationship may have ended but it didn’t mean he would come back to you.

He did come back. But he wasn’t yours. Bucky made that clear when two more relationships ensued the last. Each time, the buffer period between them was filled by you.

His back-up plan. That’s what you had been reduced to.

After the third time he brought a new girl, you’d think you would be used to it, maybe even uncaring. Unfortunately, the opposite would always prevail.

Steve caught your fist and tutted, commenting on the bad form. You stopped, shook your shoulders and began hopping on the balls of your feet again. Jab, jab. Swing. At first, you’d imagine the faces of those girls. Nowadays, it was easier to envision the pads Steve held as his best friend’s face.

“Bucky’s girl broke up with him.”

“Oh,” you made out, focus slightly wavering.

“You know what happened?”

“Are you asking me ‘cause you wanna know or because you already know?”

“I already know,” he sighed, lowering the hand pads.

He exhaled your name, shaking his and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “When are you two gonna stop playing around?”

“I really don’t understand, Steve.”

“You know why she broke up with him?” You blinked, tongue poking the inside of your cheek in anticipation of an answer.

“He moaned your name during sex.”

“God, that’s so corny,” you huffed, now beginning to make your way out of the boxing ring.

“So what, you’re gonna do nothing? Keep letting him use you?” Steve jogged to catch up to you.

“No,” you faced him, “I’m not letting him use me as a fallback anymore. I’m putting an end to it.”

Steve pursed his lips and shot you and exasperated look before shaking his head. “Don’t let something good go to waste.”

It used to be something good.

You wondered if you could hold up the promise you had just declared to Steve; in the past, you failed every time he showed up at your door. Bucky knew exactly how to play into your emotions, how to say the right things every time. And just like that, the next morning you’d end up in his arms. That stops today.

Determined, you practically punched the button to go up on the elevator and impatiently tapped your foot. As the doors slid closed, you took one look at yourself and turned away, fighting the urge to fix your appearance for him. The doors opened again and you check the floor number, ready to step out, but stopped at the sound of your name. His ex. You almost ran off, unwilling to put up with an angry ex, but she called on you again. You sheepishly stood there, as if you were the one who did something wrong, until she stepped in and pressed the button to go to the lobby.

The silence stretched on, much like your patience. Does she even know who you are?

“We were both fooling ourselves.”

You turn to check if she was speaking to you. Her stare was unwavering and she maintained eye contact that almost made you squirm.

“We both love different people.” She smiled, an obvious melancholy tainting her face. You stood there, absolutely clueless as to how you should respond.

“It’s too late for me, but it’s not for the two of you. Just... don’t let him go. He’s one of the good ones.”

You turned again, now looking down at the ground. Even if she expected you to say something back, it was impossible, at this point. Your mind was in shambles, everything she said contradicting the choice you made five minutes ago.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened and she stepped out. She turned one last time and nodded as if you knew what to do now.

Bucky’s door was unlocked. You called out his name, barely above a whisper and sauntered with hesitation lining your every step. Nothing. Empty. He wasn’t there.

It was a sign. You almost ignored the advice his ex gave, ready to walk into his room and end things. Your shoulder slumped as if your bore the weight of the world on them as you slunk back to your room. Now it would take another outburst or another month to prepare yourself to talk to him again.

As the days went by, you barely saw him around. It reminded you of the times he intentionally ignored you, except this time, you weren’t sure it was intentional. When you did see him, it was clear that he wasn’t doing good; his beard was unkept and scraggly, the bags under his eyes heavier than any trauma he carried. You pretended as though you didn’t notice and went about your routine.

1 AM

A knock sounded at your door. You knew who it was, how could you not, but hoped it wasn’t him anyway. The encounter would most likely end with tears or sex and you didn’t favour either outcome.

You waited a minute. Maybe he would leave if he assumed you were asleep. The knock sounded again.

You cracked the door open. Whatever you were expecting, surely, it wasn’t this. Eyes red and puffy, it was clear he had been crying and most definitely not sleeping.

He held up a wine bottle, and chuckled pathetically at himself.

“Maybe this is bad idea,” he sniffled and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his left arm.

It didn’t feel right to say anything. Rather, you opened the door wider and beckoned for him to step in.

“Emergency?” you asked with a little smile. God, you were so close to crying and he hasn’t even said anything.

“Oh yeah. Big emergency.”

He sat on your bed and felt the sheets, trying to remember the feeling of it on his knees. The days he would buck into you while you clutched them like a vice. The soldier pursed his lips and watched as you settled beside him.

“You don’t have to talk... if you don’t want to,” you said. Your voice cracked and you almost smacked yourself for being so weak around him.

“But I do. I should talk. I have so much to say... Can I explain?” He turned to face you, reaching out for your hands, holding them in his own. You didn’t say anything, opting to return his request with a pleading look in your eyes. He knew what the look meant: just don’t break my heart. Again. He took a deep breath in acknowledgement, trying to form the words that would help you understand.

“I can’t believe I hurt you. I swear, I didn’t know I was doing it, at first.” You mustered your best unbelieving look, almost scoffing for good measure. “No, really,” he hastily added.

A few tears streamed down your face and you frantically tried to wipe them. Bucky took one look at you before he began breaking down, tears slipping down his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry... I just- I don’t understand? I thought things were good?” you questioned. You had given up on trying to wipe your tears, as did he.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. And by the time I realized, we were so far in. Then I found a distraction... and I really thought I was over you,” he paused, wondering if he should continue or not. You showed no sign of speaking up, so he went on.

“I didn’t think you cared. I didn’t think you felt the same way. I was so convinced that you wouldn’t blink twice but then... but, I-... I heard you at the door that day. I wanted to kick her out and hold you, but I-...”

“But you what? You what, Bucky?”

“I thought it was too late for us. I thought I ruined everything.”

“Then why are you here now?”

“Don’t be mad,” he murmured, retracting his hands and fiddling with his fingers.

“I don’t think anyone can ever replace what we had. Maybe... still have? Because you’re it for me. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that. I was on the brink of losing myself.” He looked up at you, eyes brimming with a new wave of tears. He mumbled your name weakly, croaking out a please at the end.

You curled in on yourself and fell into his arms, hoping that was enough of a answer.

“I can’t promise you that everything will be back to normal by tomorrow morning... but with some time, I can learn to trust you again.”

Above you, Bucky hurriedly nodded. At the state he’s in right now, you suspected that you could ask him to sell his soul and he would agree.

“And if you ever break my heart again-,”

“-I would die before that happens,” he finished for you, kissing the top of your head for good measure.

“I love you,” you whimpered, “so fucking much.”

“I love you too. I really love you too,” he affirmed and encased you with his arms again.

Though there had been some rough patches on the road to happiness, with Bucky by your side, you felt as though you could make it through anything; for that, is the power of pragmatic love.

an unfortunate ending.

The tears that would’ve been shed during the ceremony have dried on your pillowcase about five hours ago. Now, you sat beside the team, waiting for her to walk down the aisle.

Bucky looked nervous, as if he were reconsidering his life decisions. The little devil on your shoulder was holding onto every little thing he did: the wrinkle of his forehead, his repeated tugging on the suit and his flustered glancing around. Oh lord, and when he accidentally locked eyes with you? You may have bitten your lip and looked away in contempt but the shoulder-devil was as persistent as ever.

He secretly still wants you.

Shut up.

He wants to call it off.

Get a life.

At last, the lucky girl stood at the end of the winding path and you couldn’t help but sneak a look at the groom. His tension and nervousness crumbled at the sight of her; it was difficult not to feel happy that he had found the one that made him feel this way.

It may have been him for you, but that notion was long forgotten, a nuisance of memory at most. Your love for him, regardless of the storms it has endured, is no longer respected or wanted by either party.

If he loves her, why does he come to you when things get bad?

You shook your head at that, having no answer for the nature of his secret infidelity. It was nothing more than taking out his frustrations on you - much like the old days.

Your reminiscing was cut short when a voice asked everyone to rise for the bride. You stood and straightened out your outfit, flicking off the little white petal that clung to your maroon dress. A hand grasped your own, and you turned to see Steve smile reassuringly. You squeeze his hand in appreciation and turned your attention to the white-clad figure walking down the aisle.

And that’s all you remember. You wish you could recall the rest of the wedding. You really do. Too preoccupied with what was going to happen after the event, you disassociated from the ordeal altogether. No matter how hard you grilled yourself, nothing would come to mind - dissociative amnesia only occurs as a protective coping mechanism during traumatic events; was that what Bucky’s wedding was to you?

What type of question is that?

For once, you agreed with the little red beast that sat on your shoulder. Long ago, the first time you saw someone else Bucky’s arms, the devil pierced the pitchfork right through the angel’s heart. These days, it was all you could think of.

After the bride and groom exchanged ‘I do’s’, you willed yourself to stay a while longer. Your only companion, Steve, slow danced with you in silence, knowing that whatever he says would be of no consolation. Bucky did have half a mind to ask you for a dance, but he saw you leave. You didn’t think anyone did. He waited for you to turn and look at him one last time, but you never did. It’s okay, he thought. I didn’t deserve her anyway.

No one saw you after that.

On your bed, Steve found a single note that didn’t explain anything more than what he already knew. If anything, it simply affirmed that you were gone for good. Your things packed up, no trace of a person ever having lived there. Even if he pulled some strings, it would take years to find you again.

After all, you had already been lost for quite some time.

hey folks. i know this seems a little desperate-sounding but i would really appreciate reblogs and would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the story. what was you favourite part? which part made you feel some way? i really love knowing these things. love each and every single one of you.

Masterlist

Shoot me a message or fill out the form in my bio to be added to my tag list!

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan character #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

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no-pucks-given · 4 years ago

Text

TYSON JOST | LIGHT MY WAY HOME

A/N: More than 12.000 words later, more than a month after the initial request from Taylor popped up in my notifications. What a freaking ride. My longest fic I've ever written, and maybe even my favourite one. Thank you, to everyone who hyped me up, send me inspo and send me sweet asks. I couldn't have done this without all of you. Special thanks to @dumb-and-dunner, @chicagoblackhawkslover96, @heybarzy and Chrissy (who doesn't have Tumblr unfortunately).

Warnings: Angst, ‘can I strangle him yet?’ Tyson, swearwords, some major character development and (how could I not?!) a happy ending.

Also: Gabe and Melissa Landeskog play a big part in this fic, so if you aren't comfortable with them, you might want to skip this one.

Word Count: 12.1K

Requested: Yes.

The NHL lifestyle, or the ‘popular’ lifestyle was attractive to all young, hormonal boys. You’d known that for a long time. You stood by Tyson’s side when he got drafted into the wicked world of the NHL. Parties, drinking, sex, training until you can barely move, fights, games, wins and losses. It all had it’s charms, but it also had its dangers. Just like any other guy Tyson wanted to experience it all, the whole package,

You assumed you fell under that ‘whole package’, you were his girlfriend for a reason, right? And you did, for a while. You partied together, came home together, did everything together. But the moment Tyson became older and ‘known’ outside the regular hockey fans, that title didn’t mean much anymore. He became more and more the type of guy you didn’t fall in love with, the type to take you for granted, the type to enjoy the attention of other people, other women in particular. You weren’t the jealous type, you didn’t want to claw out the eyes of every woman that looked at him, but you were at a breaking point. Maybe you were jealous, you weren’t jealous of those other women, you were jealous of the attention Tyson gave them. Attention he should’ve been giving to you, his freaking girlfriend.

You were however the loyal type, the type to come home after a long night. And that’s exactly where things went wrong with Tyson. While you were waiting for him at home with a meal, a warm bed or just simply anything else, he was out. You had no idea where he was exactly, he was simply ‘out’, whatever that might mean. You tried to talk to him, you tried to make him see that this wouldn’t end well for either of you, but he simply waved off your concerns, shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

How do you talk to someone who rediscovered himself? How do you talk to someone who thinks he’s on top of the world? How do you save someone from the downfall of success when they don’t want to be saved? You knew one day he’ll come down from this high, one day he’ll realize that he screwed up. One day he’ll come to the conclusion he let something special slip through his fingers, and for what? Fame? Drinks? A rush of adrenaline? One day. But you knew that it wouldn’t be today.

However today is the day that you’re done. Absolutely fed up with all the bullshit excuses Tyson has been feeding you, all the coming home late or not even coming home at all. You have no idea what he’s been up to these last months, he’s barely home. Even when he’s home it’s like he isn’t really there. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you slept together or the last time you actually went to bed at the same time. Breakfast together? A lifetime ago. A lazy day together? Can’t remember. Date night? Months, months ago. Even thinking about it pisses you off to no end, the pain and hurt slowly making place for a new emotion: anger.

It’s frustrating to say the least. You love and take care of him like he means the world to you, and he does. Tyson on the other hand seems to take you for granted, or forgets you’re here at all. It seems like you’re talking to a brick wall instead of your boyfriend. No matter how hard you try, your words have no impact, your tears don’t make him feel anything. It’s like he’s a totally different person. You barely recognize him anymore these days, he feels like a stranger inside the body of the man you love. It feels like you’re both living your life, besides each other instead of with each other. It hurts, that’s for sure.

Like any other day you’ve prepared dinner, put it on the table and sat down on one of the chairs. All you can do now is wait, wait and pray he’ll show up this time. You even texted him, begged him to come home and simply eat dinner with you for a change. Of course you didn’t get a response, of course it’s complete radio silence from his side. God, you were desperate at this point, you don’t even try to deny it.

With every passing minute your hope disappears little by little. You stare at the food on the table until it’s completely dark outside, no sign of Tyson. Hours passed and you barely noticed it, it isn’t until you try to stand up and your muscles ache from sitting in the same position for a long time that you realize how much time actually has passed. “Fuck this, why am I even trying anymore?” you mutter to yourself, shaking your head. This isn’t worth it, it hasn’t been for a long time. Maybe, just maybe you’re finally ready to admit it to yourself.

Deciding to choose yourself over Tyson is a major decision, one you probably should’ve made sooner. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you’re choosing you now. You make the split second decision to just grab your stuff, just the necessary stuff. You remember Gabe’s offer, at the time you waved it off with a smile, pretending it wasn’t as bad as it might look to the outside world, but now? You want nothing more than to take him up on his offer. So what’s stopping you?

Even though you were excruciating calm this whole time, the moment you step into your bedroom, or Tyson’s bedroom, you break. This is real, this is really happening. You grab your bags, filling them with some of your stuff. Some clothes, some toiletries, your makeup, everything you might need. It’s a tough job, it’s even harder when you almost can’t see past the tears. At some point you lose track of things you did and didn’t grab, just shoving random items into your bag.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your body sinking down on the floor. In your hands the box containing all your high school love letters, all the small gifts you made each other. Tyson was quite handy, who would’ve thought that? You smile at the memories, sorting through the box. You frown at the feeling surging through your body, is this how heartbreak feels? Looking down at the contents of the box you sigh, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. Why couldn’t life be as simple as it used to be? It shouldn’t be this hard, right? You grab your prom picture between your fingers, smiling sadly at the two people in the picture, both smiling like they just won the lottery, both utterly in love with the other. How time can change..

You throw the box on the bed, maybe it will remind Tyson what the two of you had was special, maybe he’ll realize what he’s about to lose. If it doesn’t, well, it’s his loss. Hauling your bags downstairs is a full workout, you intended to bring ‘just the essentials’ but you have way more important stuff than you originally thought. You aren’t planning on returning to this house any time soon.

Shutting the car door after you loaded in your stuff gives you some form of relief. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in. You made your decision, it’s time to follow through now. You make your way back inside, and into the kitchen. Cleaning up all leftovers from dinner, which obviously is a lot more than you expected. Although.. did you really think he would show up? You shake your head again, putting the leftovers into the fridge. After you finish the dishes you retreat back to the living room, falling down on the couch with a loud sigh. All you can do now is wait.

You could’ve just left and never look back, but that isn’t your style. If you’re going to leave, you’ll do it the right way. You won’t leave without giving him a piece of mind, letting him know he fucked this up for good. You try to focus on the movie playing on the screen, but your heart keeps beating harder and harder, at this point you wish you would’ve just left instead of waiting for Tyson to show up. God, why did you have to do it the right way? Because you know, deep down, you would’ve wanted him to do it the same way. It’s the humane thing to do, it’s only right after spending such a long time together.

The front door opening brings you out of your thoughts. Honestly you don’t even know what time it is, but frankly you don’t care. All you want right now is to get this off your chest and leave. Tyson’s eyes widen when he comes face-to-face with you, surprisingly he doesn’t seem that intoxicated. You suspected he went out, but at this point he could’ve been anywhere.

“You’re still up,” Tyson says, walking past you and flopping down on the couch.

“Yep, and you missed dinner,” you counter, crossing your arms. Tyson simply shrugs his shoulder, clearly not caring enough to explain his absence. “I texted you to make sure you would be here,” you say, even though you know it doesn’t make a difference.

“Yeah, I was busy,” Tyson answers, looking down at his phone.

You almost feel the need to chuckle, to start laughing at his stupid behavior, but this is anything but funny to you, it fucking hurts. “I’m done, Tyson. I’m fucking done,” you say, shaking your head, trying so hard to keep the tears away.

Tyson looks at you with dull eyes, no emotion visible on his face. “Then go to fucking bed, I really can’t deal with your problems right now,” he sighs, turning his head back to the phone in his hand.

Right now, at this moment you know you made the right decision. This isn’t behavior of someone who’s in love, this isn’t even behavior of someone who loves. “You don’t have to deal with me anymore, because I’m leaving. I’m done, we’re done,” you tell him, emphasizing the last part. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours, the panic clearly written all over his face now.

“No, we’re not. You can’t break up with me, y/n!” he almost shouts at you, standing up from the couch.

“Yes, I can and I will. You don’t get to act like you care all of the sudden, Tyson. You haven’t acted like a boyfriend in months. You haven’t given me any reason to stay, so I won’t. I’m done with whatever this is,” you say, waving between the two of you. Tyson grabs your wrist, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. “No. No. You don’t get to do this. It’s over. You put on quite a show, but I can’t say it was very entertaining. This curtain fucking closes right now, show is over. You can act like you care, but I know by now that you don’t,” you tell him, ripping your arm out of his grip.

You walk over to the front door, keeping your head high. Now is not the time to break down, your time will come. You hear Tyson behind you, muttering how sorry he is, excuse after excuse leave his mouth. You open the door, turning around one last time to look at Tyson. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ‘cause you’re not,” you say while shaking your head. You close the door behind you, not looking back at what you’ve left behind, only looking forward to what’s yet to come.

It’s when you’re in your car mindlessly driving around when you realize you have nowhere to go. You forgot to call Gabe, and it’s probably way too late now. You quickly check the time, 2am, shit that’s late. You doubt he’s still awake, you feel bad for even thinking about waking him up. Two young children, both of them under the age of 2, and being a professional hockey player probably cost him enough energy already, you don’t need to add to that. “He did say I could always call him when I made my decision,” you say out loud, more to convince yourself that it’s okay than anything else.

You easily find Gabe’s contact, immediately pressing the dial button before you change your mind again. The line only rings twice before Gabe picks up. “I’m guessing you either finally broke up with him or there’s a fire somewhere,” Gabe says from the other side of the line. You chuckle, shaking your head. “And since you’re calling me and not the fire department, my guess is on the first one,” Gabe continues, trying to make you smile some more.

“I did it, I broke up with him, couldn’t stand to be there any second longer,” you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair.

You hear Gabe’s sigh of relief. “I’m proud of you, y/n. I know this isn’t what you had in mind, but it’s better like this, I promise.”

Gabe turned into one of your best friends over time, Melissa is the older sister you never had and you love their children like they’re your own. Gabe and Melissa welcomed you into their family immediately after meeting you. You hadn’t expected to make friends and you definitely didn’t expect to make friends with the captain and his wife, but you’re so grateful you did. The support you receive from them is overwhelming, you couldn’t wish for better friends. So when Gabe first made you this offer, you were thankful he did, although you were still convinced at that point that Tyson would change.

“Uhm, you know.. that offer you made me? Is that still on the table?” you ask, praying he’ll say ‘yes’, praying you don’t have to sleep in some random hotel tonight.

“Of course, the guestroom is already prepared. Melissa expects you to be here as soon as possible, apparently she ‘really needs to cuddle her little sister’,” Gabe chuckles, you can almost hear him rolling his eyes at his wife.

“Thank you, Gabe. I owe you,” you say softly.

“You don’t. You’re family, y/n,” Gabe says, and you know he means every word he just said. Family. “Now get your ass over here, before Melissa starts a search party,” Gabe chuckles, making you laugh some more, because you know she would. You quickly say your goodbyes, promising you’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s just a short drive from your apartment, or Tyson’s apartment now, to Gabe and Mel’s place.

You kept up your appearance, keeping the tears at bay, but the moment you step out of your car and into Gabe’s arms you’re done. “Come here, I’m so sorry,” Gabe says softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You stand there for a few minutes, simply crying on your best friend’s shoulder, until Melissa squeezes herself between the two of you. “Hush, I need some sister time. Why don’t you grab her stuff?” she says, smiling sweetly at her husband.

Gabe sighs dramatically, sending a wink your way. “Whatever you say, wife.”

Melissa pulls you close to her, an arm around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you your room,” she softly says, leading you into the house. You’ve been here so many times already, but never like this. You’ve never been in a situation like this before, you’re not sure how to handle this. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It will be okay,” Melissa says, rubbing your arm soothingly. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders, not sure what to say.

Melissa leads you to your room, pushing you down on the bed, while she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re probably exhausted, but do you want to talk?” Melissa asks softly, her face showing nothing but compassion.

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that has happened. “I don’t even know what to say, Mel. I don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m just so...” you trail off, not knowing the right words to describe everything that you feel and think right now.

“Confused, relieved, mad?”

You sit back up, looking back at Melissa. “All of the above, I guess? It hurts, but I’m glad I did it. But I also regret it, because I love him, you know? I’m mad he didn’t try harder for me, for us,” you say, trying hard to keep the rush of tears away.

Melissa wraps her arms around you, pulling you close to her. “I know, sweetheart. It will take time, but you’re going to be okay.”

You sigh, knowing she’s right, even though it probably will take more time than just ‘some time’. You did just end a long relationship, it will take a lot of patience and time to work through that. “Thank you, Mel. For letting me stay here,” you mumble against Melissa’s shoulder.

“No need for that. You’re my sister, remember?” Melissa smiles at you.

Gabe softly knocks on the door before opening the door. “Brought your bags, thought you might need them before you go to sleep,” he says, smiling at the sight before him. Your friendship might be unconventional, but he couldn’t care less what other people think about it. Gabe absolutely adores the sister bond you and Mel share, he hoped the two of you would get along, so this? Picture perfect.

“Thanks, Gabe,” you smile at him.

“Do you mind if I steal my wife from you?” Gabe asks, making you and Melissa laugh out loud.

“Nope, she’s all yours,” you chuckle, waving at their retreating backs when they walk out of the room.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling on a sweater. You sigh, realizing you packed some of Tyson’s sweaters out of habit. His smell infiltrates your senses, making it damn hard to keep your emotions under control. It’s right this moment you know exactly how you feel. Heartbroken. The realization that your relationship with Tyson is really over doesn’t give you the satisfaction you hoped for, it doesn’t give you peace, it just fucking hurts. You simply feel hollow, even though deep down you know this was the right choice, this was what needed to happen. You know damn well why you feel so empty, you gave your heart to Tyson a long, long time ago, never expecting to be in a situation you might get it back. You don’t want it back, but you might need it back.

You realize it’s morning when the light softly shines into your room. You sigh, knowing damn well you’re lucky if you slept more than an hour this night. Rolling over you look at the clock on the wall, 9 am, perfect. Deciding it won’t do you any good if you stay in bed any longer, you force yourself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water warms your cold skin, soothing your sore muscles. All the twisting and turning you did all night surely didn’t help the way you feel right now. Why couldn’t life be a bit easier by simply letting the shower wash away all of your hurt, all of your pain? A fresh start, a clean slate.

You slip on some skinny jeans and a soft sweater, not in the mood to even think about doing your makeup. You dry your hair, before making a quick ponytail out of it. You walk down stairs, the chatter and laughter greeting you as soon as you walk into the kitchen. “Morning, guys,” you say, smiling at all the happy faces before you. A round of greetings sound throughout the room.

“How’d you sleep?” Gabe asks you as soon as you sit down next to him with a bowl of cereal.

“Can’t even tell you, suddenly it was 9 am,” you chuckle, shrugging your shoulders at Gabe’s raised eyebrow. “Do you have any idea where my phone is?” you ask Gabe, knowing he grabbed all your stuff out of your car.

“Uhh, I do, but I don’t know if you really want to look at it,” Gabe says, scratching the back of his head before pointing towards the kitchen counter. It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, walking over to where Gabe’s pointing at.

You unlock your phone, quickly checking your notifications. “Oh damn,” you mutter, looking at the absurd amount of missed calls and messages left by none other than Tyson himself.

You sit back down next to Gabe, dropping your head on your arms. “What do I do now, Gabe?” you groan. “Why does he care all of the sudden?”

Gabe rubs his hand over your back before answering your question. “Because he lost you, y/n. He never thought he would.” You turn your head towards Gabe letting his words sink in.

Gabe gets ready to leave for practice shortly after you settle on the couch with Lucas in your arms. The little man has a fascination with your hair, maybe it’s all babies who have that, but you like to think that you’re special. “Don’t pull out all y/n’s hair, baby boy,” Gabe chuckles, giving his boy a soft kiss on his head. He gives you a kiss on your cheek, softly squeezing your shoulder. You open your mouth to say something, but Gabe cuts you off. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry about it, I’m his captain, but I’m your friend, okay? Just relax, make sure Lucas doesn’t puke on you and go do whatever it is that you women do all day,” Gabe chuckles, knowing you better than you know yourself. You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him, wishing him good luck with practice before he runs through the house trying to find his girls to kiss them goodbye.

“Your daddy is a good guy, you know that, Lucas?” you smile at the baby on your lap. Lucas coos, his hands grabbing onto the strands of your hair. “Your daddy and mommy make me feel so loved, even though their children like to see me in pain,” you joke, trying to free your hair from Lucas’s small hands. “Buddy, you’re way stronger than you look,” you mumble, when Lucas pulls on your hair again.

Melissa laughs out loud the moment she walks into the living room. “How many times did I tell you that you need to keep your hair away from him and his grabby hands?” she says, expertly freeing your hair from her son’s fists.

“Apparently not enough times,” you chuckle at her. Melissa joins you on the couch, while Linnea Rae plays on the ground with some of her toys, happily showing you what she got every now and then. It’s times like this that you’re extra grateful for Melissa and Gabe, the way they welcomed you into their family has been nothing but perfect.

“So, what’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Melissa asks, while scrolling through series to watch on Netflix.

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m kind of worried about practice, I think? I don’t want to put Gabe in this position,” you say, keeping your eyes on Lucas.

“You know Gabe would do anything for you, huh? You don’t know how many times he came home utterly frustrated by the way Tyson treated you. He never said anything, because you were still with him, I can’t promise you he will stay quiet this time,” Melissa says, squeezing your shoulder. “He’ll be fine, this isn’t Gabe’s first rodeo.”

You look at Melissa, who simply gives you a wink. “I know, I know. I just don’t want him to get in trouble or anything,” you say, smiling back at her. You trust and know Gabe, so hopefully there won’t be a lot of trouble today.

“If he does though, he probably deserves it.”

Gabe surprises you all with some takeaway when he gets home from practice. It’s been nice eating with other people for change, it’s been way too long. The amount of lonely dinners has been through the roof lately. Gabe nudges you with his elbow, causing you to look up at him. “No frowning at the table.”

Melissa rolls her eyes at her husband while you just stick out your tongue at him. “Sure, dad,” you say, causing Melissa to almost choke on her bite of food before she lets out a loud laugh.

“Yeah, dad. Leave us alone,” Melissa laughs, winking at her husband. Gabe shakes his head at you and Melissa, a grin plastered on his face.

It’s during dessert you find the courage to ask about Tyson. You weren’t sure if you needed to ask Gabe, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to know anything, but now you know you do. “So, did anything happen during practice?” you ask him, playing around with your spoon.

Gabe shakes his head, giving you a small smile. “Not much, just some chirping. Told him I’m his captain and he needs to fucking focus on practice. That seemed to do the trick,” Gabe says, shrugging his shoulders, continuing to eat his dessert.

You look across the table at Melissa who has the same expression on her face as you. Not convincing at all. ‘Sure,’ Melissa mouths at you from across the table. You shake your head at her, furrowing your eyebrows at Gabe’s statement. ‘Nope,’ you mouth back at her, finishing your dessert. You decide to let it go, you don’t even know why you care so much. You shouldn’t, right? You broke things off with Tyson, so why do you care so much what he does and thinks? The answer to that question is pretty simple the longer you think about it. Because you still love him, that’s why.

You thank everyone for dinner and dessert, promising to cook something from them later this week. Right now all you can think about is your bed and a decent night of sleep. God, that sounds like a true dream right now. You strip out of your clothes, crawling into the soft and cozy bed. It doesn’t take long before you fall asleep, showing just how exhausted you truly are.

The weeks that follow are filled with all kinds of activities, the 5 of you falling back into a comfortable rhythm, surprising you considering the situation you’re in. It isn’t every day you take in the ex-girlfriend of one of your teammates, or your best friend, whatever way you want to see things. When you aren’t working you spend a lot of time with the kids, trying to make things easier for Melissa and Gabe whenever they are busy or simply need some time for the two of them. You happily take on some of their care, even if it’s as simple as making sure they get their food in time. Honestly they are two of the sweetest children you’ve ever come across, they always find ways to make you laugh, even though most of the time it isn’t on purpose.

It’s been quiet around the house tonight, Melissa went out with a few of her friends, while she left Gabe and the kids with you. Apparently she needed some ‘alone time’ which didn’t include kids, and definitely didn’t include Gabe after he mentioned he wanted some ‘alone time’ with her as well. You love their friendly bickering, the love they have for each other visible in everything they do. So when Melissa gave her husband a dirty look and flipped him the bird the only logical thing to do was to start laughing at their exchange. “Have fun with them, sweetheart!” Melissa had yelled at you when she walked through the door, leaving the four of you behind.

Together you decide to just have a movie night. It’s late enough for both children to be asleep already, yet early enough to squeeze in a full size movie marathon. “Gladiatorrrrr!” Gabe exclaims excitedly while scrolling through the movie selection on Netflix, pausing on his all-time favorite movie.

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Please no, have mercy, Gabe,” you laugh, knowing damn well you’re going to sit through this movie again. How many times has it been already? 12? You wouldn’t even be surprised. This dude really loves his movie. You look at Gabe from between your fingers, seeing the look on his face which makes you groan even more. “Fineeee, one more time, Gabe. One more time,” you whine at him, secretly enjoying his taste in movies, something you don’t plan on telling him ever.

It’s a little after 10pm when the doorbell rings. You look at Gabe, who looks just as surprised as you are. “It’s a bit early for Mel, don’t you think?” Gabe asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Definitely, unless she drank the whole bottle of champagne again,” you chuckle, thinking back at one of the craziest parties you’ve ever been to with Mel and Gabe.

“Oh God, please don’t remind me of that,” Gabe shudders at the memory of that night, standing up to see who’s on the other side of the door.

Gabe hates to say that he isn’t surprised to see Tyson’s face as soon as he opens the door. Honestly he had expected him at his door days, maybe even weeks ago. The moment Tyson found out you were staying with Gabe he broke, Gabe expected him to fight, to yell, to scream, he expected him to do anything except cry. Which is exactly what Tyson did, breaking down in the middle of practice. For a moment the whole place went quiet, only Tyson’s cries echoing throughout the building. No one knew how to act, no one knew what to do, until Gabe realized he’s the captain for a reason. On and off the ice. It was a weird experience, one Gabe still feels extremely conflicted about. He comforted his teammate, his friend, while his other friend was at his home, utterly heartbroken, trying to get over the guy who was bawling his eyes out on the ice.

After Tyson got over the initial shock the anger took over, just as Gabe expected. It made him almost drop the gloves, something he tried to avoid, not wanting to hurt Tyson. He let him say his things, things that absolutely didn’t make any sense, until he got everything out of his system. “Now can we continue this fucking practice, Jost?” Gabe told him after everything calmed down. Gabe tried to avoid the Tyson/y/n topic as much as possible after that, not wanting to get in the middle of things more than he already was. Until tonight apparently.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at the boy before him. “Why are you here, Tyson?” Gabe sighs, already knowing the answer to that question.

Tyson looks around, eyes flickering from left to right, clearly uncomfortable being here. “I, uh, can I talk to y/n? I know she’s here,” Tyson asks, scratching the back of his head before putting them back in his pockets.

Gabe shakes his head at him. “You can’t, if she wants to talk to you she will find a way to contact you. As long as you don’t get your shit together and prove to me, but most of all to her, that you’ve changed, I won’t let you anywhere near her,” Gabe declares, starting to get annoyed with the way Tyson acts. There’s no way he lets him close to you until you feel like you’re ready to see him again, no way.

Tyson opens his mouth, but Gabe gives him a look that immediately shuts him up again. “I’m saying this as your captain, and definitely not as your friend right now. Go home and leave her the fuck alone. You had your chance, you fucked up and now you have to deal with the consequences. How you deal with those said consequences is up to you, but I suggest you leave now and think about everything you did and didn’t do, okay?” Tyson nods his head, turning around to walk back to his car.

When he’s a few steps away from his car he turns around, smiling sadly at Gabe. “She’s my home, Gabe. Home doesn’t feel the same without her. You out of all people should understand that.”

Gabe chuckles low, shaking his head at his clueless teammate. “I do. I do know what home feels like, but I never, never choose anyone or anything over my ‘home’. Never. You sure as hell did, time after time,” Gabe says frustratedly, before shutting the door, leaving behind an even more frustrated Tyson.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you caught the sound of Tyson’s voice when you walked to the kitchen, grabbing some more popcorn. You didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but it felt like you were glued to your place, unable to take another step, unable to do anything but listen.

Gabe walks back into the room, the look on your face immediately letting him know you know. “How much did you hear?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly.

“Enough,” you whisper, before breaking down, no longer able to keep the tears locked away, no longer able to keep your emotions to yourself.

With two steps Gabe is in front of you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn you held onto between your trembling fingers. He guides you back to the couch, urging you to sit down, which is a true challenge for someone who can barely feel the ground they walk on. Gabe wraps his arms around you the moment you sit down, allowing you to cry onto his shoulder as much as you want and need. He whispers sweet nothings while softly brushing your hair out of your face, making sure you have room to breath. Time after time Gabe proves what kind of friend he is, always making sure to be there for you when he’s needed, always doing things with the best intentions. Even if it’s just holding you until you calm down, even if it’s just speaking the truth against Tyson, even if it’s just simply being there for one another.

“Sooner or later he would’ve realized what he lost, what he gave up for an evening of clubbing or God knows what. Apparently it’s sooner rather than later, however make sure you make him work for it, if you ever decide you want to give the two of you another chance,” Gabe softly advises you, when you finally calmed down a bit.

“I will, you know I love him, Gabe. But I don’t know if I should?” you mumble, not sure if it’s a question Gabe has the answer to.

“Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. If he’s serious about you, he will work his ass off to earn back your love and trust, I promise you,” Gabe comforts you, after knowing Tyson for so long he’s positive he knows that Tyson goes above and beyond to get what he wants in life.

Maybe it’s Gabe’s comforting words, maybe it’s knowing deep down Tyson still cares, maybe it’s your own strength, but for the first time in a while you feel a tiny flicker of hope, a little bit of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Maybe, just maybe this was all worth it, maybe this is what needed to happen to get better and move forward. Maybe this is how it was supposed to go.

It’s a weird feeling, knowing your ex still cares about you, but also knowing you aren’t ready to let him back into your life like that. You don’t feel like you’re capable of seeing him yet, let alone talk to him. The need to know how he’s doing, how he’s holding up grows, but also confuses you. It’s simply a weird and confusing situation to be in. Choosing between two, maybe even more ways to handle this, while also waiting for Tyson to make a move, which he obviously can’t since you don’t want to see him or speak to him, is a hard task. A task that will require a lot of thinking. You just need a bit more time to gather your thoughts, give all of your confusing feelings a place, while making sure you put yourself first, you need to put yourself first this time.

So when Gabe invites you to one of his home games a few weeks later you say ‘yes’ right away. It seems like the perfect time and place to see Tyson from a distance again, without putting too much stress on yourself, you can just watch and enjoy the game, you don’t have to force anything. Of course your seats turned out to be way closer to the ice than you expected them to be, although... what did you exactly expect with Gabe? You know he’s been talking to both of you, kind of acting like some sort of messenger. He tried to keep it casual, just slipping in some information during a conversation, but you noticed what he was trying to do. Frankly you’re thankful for his meddling.

Steadily your heart starts to beat faster and faster the more players appear on the ice to warm up. When Gabe appears you aren’t surprised to see Tyson close to him, knowing Gabe they probably had a little chat before they went on the ice. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours the moment he’s close by, completely forgetting the ability to skate. You gasp when he lands on his ass on the ice, earning himself a round of laughter from the people around him, including Melissa and you. Gabe skates over to him, extending his hand and helping him upright again, but not before clearly telling him he’s ‘a dumbass’. Now that’s something you can agree on.

You know Tyson has something up his sleeve when he skates off to the bench, clearly busying himself with something you can’t see. After a few more stolen glances at each other Tyson skates closer and closer to you, until he’s right in front of the glass. His left hand catches your attention, until he gives you a small and almost shy smile. “Look at him, he’s blushing!” Melissa whispers next to you. You shoot her a quick ‘shut up’ look, before you focus your attention back on Tyson.

Tyson shows you the puck in his gloved hand, mouthing to you to catch it. It takes him two tries before the puck lands on the other side of the glass, safely in your hands. Tyson gives you one last quick smile before he skates off to get ready for the game. Melissa nudges you softly, bringing you back from your thoughts. “So, what’s on there?” she asks, knowing damn well you haven’t even checked.

“I don’t know if I want to look, Mel,” you tell her honestly. Melissa gives you a sad smile, throwing her arm around your shoulders.

“Let’s look together?” she suggests. You don’t know why you’re so nervous, how much can you actually write on a puck? He seemed happy to see you, so there’s no need to be nervous that it’s a bad thing. You look at the puck, turning it around in your hands so you can read the whole thing. ‘Talk after the game?’ is written on the puck, you immediately recognize Tyson’s handwriting and his little smiley face, or.. something that should resemble a smiley face.

“That wasn’t that bad, right?” Melissa asks softly, squeezing your shoulder.

“What if I’m not ready?” you ask her, a question that has been on your mind a lot lately.

“Then you take a step back, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you don’t have any obligations. But he’s trying, y/n. You’ve heard all of Gabe’s stories, you’ve seen it yourself just now. It can’t hurt to at least talk to him.” You think about Melissa’s words, she does have a point there. Talking is something you should’ve done ages ago, or at least Tyson should’ve done that. So this is progress, he’s at least trying this time, that’s more than he used to do.

It’s hard to keep the smile off your face, you can’t even pinpoint why exactly you’re smiling. Whatever the reason is, it’s a good feeling to smile again. The game sure as hell plays a big part in it, the guys are on fire, scoring goal after goal, never giving the puck away for long. There’s barely any time for you to give Tyson a thumbs up, indicating you’re up for a talk after the game. Whenever you look at Tyson when he’s off the ice he’s smiling, whether it is to himself or to one of his teammates, that smile won’t leave his face.

You follow Melissa down to the locker room after the game is over. You’ve done this so many times, but this time it couldn’t be more different. You greet all the girls who are patiently waiting on their man, getting enough comforting words from them to last you a lifetime. When the door to the locker room opens you come face-to-face with Mikko, someone you haven’t seen in a while. Mikko’s face lights up when he spots you outside the locker room. “y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long,” he says, while hugging you tightly.

“I missed you too, goof. It’s great to see you,” you smile at him, wiggling out of his iron grip. Dude’s definitely stronger than he looks.

“Between you and me, Tyson’s a good kid, he just needed to grow up a bit,” Mikko whispers against your ear, before leaving you alone again.

You raise your eyebrow at Melissa, who just shrugs her shoulders. Weird. After a few more minutes Gabe and Tyson appear in front of you, both of them joking around. Tyson nervously looks around, not sure if he should come any closer. Gabe hugs you swiftly before throwing his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Make sure you bring her home safely, Jost,” Gabe warns him, before quickly saying goodbye to both of you.

You watch them leave, your mouth agape by the way they just left you here. Rude. “Did they just really do that?” you ask no one in particular, still shocked by their actions.

You turn around, looking back at Tyson, who still appears to be nervous. Is he nervous to talk to you? Why would he be nervous? It’s just you. “Hi there,” you smile, looking up at the man in front of you.

“Hi beautiful, it was nice seeing you tonight,” Tyson softly says, giving you a small smile.

Your insides flutter with his use of words, it’s nice hearing them even though you’re not completely sure if he means them the way you hope he does. “It was. You played great, I had a lot of fun,” you say, smiling at the proud look that crosses Tyson’s face for a moment.

Tyson leads you back to the rink, which is now completely deserted, thinking it would be a nice place to chat. For a while the two of you fall back into small talk, ‘how’s life?’, ‘how’s work?’, all that bullshit. You know Tyson and you are avoiding the actual topic that needs to be discussed, or topics? Whatever it is, there’s a lot to talk about. “I missed it here, I forgot how much I loved being here,” you tell Tyson, looking at the lights that lighten up the place, thinking back at the memories full of fun and happiness you both created here.

“I missed you, baby,” Tyson blurts out, completely catching you off guard.

Your eyes shoot back to his, you feel the panic rising inside your body. “Tyson...,” you start, warning him he’s walking on thin ice here.

Tyson’s face falls a bit, seeing the anxious look on your face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Tyson groans, rubbing his face harshly, utterly frustrated with himself and the situation.

It’s quiet for a minute, both of you completely lost in thoughts. “Why is this so hard? We used to be able to talk about anything and everything. What changed, y/n?” Tyson wonders out loud.

You feel a painful pang in your heart, because you know damn well what changed. “You did, Tyson. You changed,” you almost whisper, the truth behind those words more clear than ever before.

You watch as Tyson’s whole composure changes in the blink of an eye, in just a split second he goes from the ‘happy’ guy to the guy who’s just as heartbroken as you are. “I did, didn’t I?” Tyson whispers, the tears pooling in his eyes. “I fucked this up, how could I be so stupid?” he mumbles, burying in face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, I regret this more than I could ever admit to you. I’m so sorry, baby,” Tyson cries, trying to keep his eyes focused on you. It’s hard to keep your own tears at bay when the guy you love so much has a breakdown in front of you, so you don’t. You just let them fall.

You don’t make a move to comfort him, you do give him room to let it all out, give him time to gather his composure again. “I looked through the box, the one you left on our bed?” Tyson says, his voice still broken, still thick with emotion. You nod your head, it was something you hoped he would do. “I had no idea you kept all of that throughout the years,” Tyson smiles weakly at you. “It made me realize what a moron I have been these past few months, maybe even longer,” he continues, shaking his head in disappointment. You listen intently at him, this, this is what you hoped for all this time: realization.

“I’m not telling you that you weren’t a moron, because you absolutely were. But I’m glad you came to the same conclusion.”

Tyson chuckles at your statement, giving you half a smile. “I know, I’m a dumbass. I’m a dumbass for acting this way and a dumbass for letting you go. Any guy would be on top of the world with you by his side, and I just let you slip through my fingers,” Tyson tells you, finally showing he knows he’s been a fool all this time, he knows he let something special go.

“Is it too late for us? Can you give us another chance?” Tysons asks you, his eyes flickering between you and the ground.

You sigh softly, knowing this question would come. It’s something you gave a lot of thought, something that crossed your mind daily. “I don’t know, Tyson. I really don’t know. You really fucking hurt me, you know? I can’t just look past that, I need to heal from that,” you tell him. Tyson nods his head, a guilty expression on his face. “You made me feel worthless every single day. You didn’t even give me a second of your time day after day. All you cared about was being away. Being away from me?”

It’s right that moment Tyson interrupts you by grabbing your hands. “No. No. That’s not true, you need to believe me,” he tells you as fast as he can.

“But how can I believe you when you never gave me a reason to? Your actions showed me exactly that, Tyson. I need answers, I need to know why,” you exclaim, starting to panic again, your anxiety taking over.

“Easy, baby. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, everything you want, but right now I need you to breath. Breathe, baby,” Tyson says softly, trying to calm your shallow breathing back down to normal. “Listen to my breathing, try to follow the way I breathe.” You do as he says, following the rise and fall of his chest, gaining back control of your own breathing.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, while Tyson just shakes his head at you, letting you know it’s okay. “Can you take me home, Ty? We can talk later, okay?” you ask him, suddenly feeling the need to crawl underneath the covers of your bed and just simply sleep for a while.

“Anything you want, y/n,” Tyson says, leading you out of the room and back to his car. You’re pretty sure he mumbled something under his breath, something very closely resembling ‘your home isn’t there, it’s with me’.

The drive to Gabe takes longer than expected, giving you more time to think about Tyson’s earlier question. You still need and want to know how he spent his nights, where he spent his nights, and why he acted like you didn’t exist. That conversation might need to wait until another day, you aren’t up for any more information, any more realizations, you still need to process everything you heard, saw and felt today.

Tyson stops the car in front of Gabe’s house, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. You know he still hopes he gets an answer to his earlier question, and you want to give him at least that. “You need to show me you changed, Tyson. Show me you changed for real and I’ll try to get past everything that happened. I can’t promise you anything,” you tell him softly, meaning everything you just said.

Tyson nods his head, a smile of relief on his lips. “I will, I promise you I will show you I changed and that you’re everything to me. I promise, baby.”

So that’s exactly what Tyson does the next few weeks, every free moment he tries to show you just how much you mean to him, without smothering you. Whether it’s taking you out for dinner, although you’re still waiting for Tyson to actually make you dinner by himself one day, to small coffee dates and fresh flowers at work. It’s been a lot to process, a lot of adjusting to this ‘new’ Tyson, or rather seeing the ‘old’ Tyson again. And you missed him, God you missed him so much.

Tyson seems happier, more at peace with himself these days, it’s a pleasant change. Often you wondered what was really going on inside his head, but you stopped trying after he waved it off again, and again, and again. The late night phone calls, or facetiming during road trips have become a habit again, something you didn’t think you would ever experience again with him. You still take things slow with Tyson, deciding to rather allow yourself to slowly start trusting him again than diving head first into a relationship again. Maybe it will never come that far again, you don’t know how the future will look like for the two of you, but for now it’s enough.

You come face-to-face with a smirking Melissa when you get home from yet another ‘iced coffee and donut’ date, even though you’re pretty sure Tyson isn’t allowed to eat any donuts. “Oh no,” you groan at Melissa’s expression.

“It’s time we have a little sister-sister conversation, don’t you think?” she asks you, ushering you into the living room.

“Do we?” you groan again, not in the mood to handle whatever Melissa wants to talk about now, because you already know it’s either about you, Tyson or you and Tyson.

Melissa flops down on the couch, patting the place next to her, indicating for you to sit your ass down. “Did you already talk to him about it?” she asks, straight to point in pure Melissa-style.

You let your head fall back against the cushions, sighing loudly. “I didn’t. We’re doing great, we’re having fun. I’m going to ruin it if I start asking questions again.”

Melissa stays quiet for a minute, trying to figure out the right way to approach this sensitive topic. “You know you deserve the truth, right? You can’t rebuild a relationship when not everything’s on the table, sweetheart,” Melissa says softly, knowing you’re struggling with this.

“I promise I’ll talk to him after the road trip, I don’t want to create any unnecessary negative energy before,” you promise Melissa, although she gives you a ‘who are you trying to fool here’ look before switching topics.

A few days later you find yourself back at Tyson’s place. It’s weird being here, knowing you don’t live here anymore. Nothing changed, absolutely nothing, Tyson kept everything the way you did, whether it’s out of laziness or out of hope you’ll come back on day. Either way it’s weird coming back to a place that’s no longer your home. You came here to talk, nothing more nothing less. You promised Mel you would, and if you’re being honest with yourself it’s time to know the truth, time to reopen old wounds and finally get some answers. You’ve grown closer and closer to Tyson, without knowing everything, without knowing you’d be able to forgive him if he ever made a misstep. It’s time.

Tyson has been a nervous wreck ever since you called him last night after he returned from the road trip to St. Louis. He knew this was coming, but he prayed you would simply forget, even though he knows that’s not fair at all. He can’t excuse his behavior, and he won’t, not anymore. You deserve nothing but the truth, the full truth. He’s not proud of it, but you leaving him opened his eyes, showed him he really needed to change. Tyson feels like that’s something he truly did, he changed for the better, he can only hope you’ll feel the same way. He can only hope you’re still on the same path after tonight.

“You did great these last games, Ty,” you smile at him. You’re proud of the way he’s been performing these last couple of games, he really stepped up his game.

“I know you didn’t come here to talk about my performances on the ice, so can we please skip the pleasantries?” Tyson sighs, catching you completely off guard with his rather harsh approach. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve just been so fucking nervous since you called me,” Tyson curses, frustratedly brushing his fingers through his curls.

“You’re right though, I did come to talk. I think it’s time we lay all our cards on the table,” you tell him, nodding at your own answer.

You nervously bite on your lip, playing with the cup of water in your hand. It isn’t every day you ask your ex these questions. Questions you want the answers to, question you maybe don’t even want to hear the answers of. “I need to know if you cheated on me, Ty,” you blurt out, keeping your eyes on the ground, not wanting to see the look on Tyson’s face.

“Look at me, baby,” Tyson says, urging you to look up at him. “I never cheated on you, I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise.”

You shake your head at him, not knowing what to do with these emotions surging through your body. “It doesn’t make sense, Ty. Where were you all those nights? Where were you every time I lay in bed alone waiting for my boyfriend to come home? Waiting if he actually comes home this time or stays out all night again? Where were you?” At this point you’re past the civil conversations, past the friendly banter, you need answers, you need to know why he did what he did. The reason doesn’t even matter at this point, you need to know why. Why did he leave you alone so many nights, worrying about his well being, worrying about if he would come home at some point?

“Fuck, y/n! I know I fucked up, I know I did. But I swear on everything, I swear on my career, I swear on you that I never, never, touched another woman. I never kissed another woman, I never even danced with another woman, I did not cheat on you,” Tyson exclaims, hoping, praying you hear what he’s saying, that you’ll believe him. He didn’t do anything with another person, it was always you, it still is only you and he’ll do everything in his power to prove that to you every damn day.

“Then where were you, Ty? If you weren’t with another woman, then where the fuck were you every night you didn’t came home? Please enlighten me, because I’m so lost, so fucking lost,” you say, feeling utterly frustrated with yourself, with Tyson, with this shitty situation.

Tyson takes a deep breath, placing his cup back on the table. “Shitfaced drunk to the point I couldn’t even remember my own name, or so stoned I saw freaking elephants running all around town. Spending my money on unnecessary shit at clubs and bars, all to forget, trying to forget the fact that I had a perfect girlfriend waiting for me at home, while I did stupid shit. Fuck, this sounds even worse out loud than in my head,” Tyson groans, burying his face in his hands.

“But...,” you start, before Tyson cuts you off.

“I felt ashamed and guilty, y/n. Ashamed I let it get that far every time, guilty I didn’t tell you, guilty I didn’t come home again. One of the guys would just take me back to their place out of sympathy, letting me crash on their couch, trying to sleep off my haze.”

You try to come up with words to say, with anything but nothing comes out, you just feel.. empty? “I don’t understand, Tyson,” you say, at this point not even sure what you don’t understand.

“I tried, y/n. I tried to just come clean, but I couldn’t when you were so nice all the time, I couldn’t when I knew you would hate it, hate me. You know I’m a fucking lightweight, that makes it even worse. But those are no excuses, there aren’t any. I fucked up,” Tyson sighs, giving you a sad smile, “I couldn’t face you, I didn’t know how to show you my vulnerable side without letting it change the way you saw me. I didn’t want you to see me any different, but I didn’t notice I changed until you packed your bags and left me standing in the doorway.”

You’re absolutely speechless, there are so many things you want to say but you can’t form any sentences, any words. You just stare at him, your mind racing with an unlimited amount of thoughts. “Are you okay, baby?” Tyson asks softly, reaching out to put his hand on your arm.

You shake your head from side to side, wiping away the tears that spilled out. “I’m not okay, I’m definitely not okay,” you tell him. “I feel terrible knowing you didn’t feel like you could come to me, like you couldn’t talk to me. I’ve always been your biggest supporter, nothing would’ve changed that, Ty.”

Tyson gently wipes the tears away from underneath your eyes, scooting closer to where you’re seated. “Come here, baby,” he softly says, opening his arms for you. You hesitate for a second, not knowing if this is the right thing to do. Fuck the right thing, you definitely need a hug right now, and judging by Tyson’s facial expression he needs one as well. You lean forward, putting your arms around his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his body. How long has it been since you hugged each other? You can’t even remember, way too long. Tyson closes his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to his own body.

“I missed this, Ty. I missed you,” you confess, the feeling of his arms around you, the feeling of Tyson, bringing back so many memories, so many happier times.

“I know we still have a long way to go, but I hope we’ll do this together. I can’t even tell you how great it feels to have my arms around you again, even if it’s just for a moment,” Tyson says, after you both let go of each other.

“We do, but I’m in if you’re in, Ty,” you agree, wanting nothing more than to work through the issues you still have. It’s time to forgive, time to let go, time to change and time to move on.

“I’m all in.”

The talk you had with Tyson that Wednesday evening did wonders for the both of you. You still had a long way to go before you were even remotely close to where you used to be with Tyson, but the most important thing was that you were working on things. Slowly, but steadily the two of you worked on trusting each other again, telling each other important things again, just simply working on being in a healthy relationship again. Although the word never came up, you were nowhere near ready for that commitment, so you settled on something less intimidating. Friends.

It was supposed to be a regular, normal Friday evening with just Melissa and the kids. Gabe and Tyson were playing one of their most important games this season, both of them begged you to come, but it was too late to find a babysitter. Not wanting to be by yourself there and leaving Mel alone, you decided to sit this one out as well, promising to cheer them on in front of the tv. It’s the least you could do. So there you are, seated on the couch wearing your Jost jersey for the very first time again, just as you promised. Weird, like nothing ever changed, even though the exact opposite is true.

You’re bouncing a giggling Linnea Rae on your knee, looking down at her adorable mini jersey. “Look it’s your daddy!” you exclaim excitedly, pointing at the closeup shot of Gabe.

“Daddy!” Linnea Rae giggles just as excited.

You catch Mel softly smiling at your little interaction with her daughter, enjoying the love you share for each other. It’s been a blessing to have you around here, the way you care for her children, but also for her and her husband has been phenomenal. Mel couldn’t wish for a better friend, for a better sister than you.

“Oh no,” you whisper when Tyson gets slammed hard into the glass. Melissa grabs your hand, squeezing softly.

“He’s going to be fine, he’s a tough guy,” she says, trying her best to comfort you. And he is, like the tough guy Tyson is, he gets up again, shaking off the hard hit. The game continues and you’re glad Tyson is fine, skating like he didn’t just get squeezed between a glass wall and a 200 pound hockey player.

All goes well until Gabe decides the best place to smack his stick is directly against Tyson’s face, again. “Not his face, Gabe! Not his fucking face again!” you yell at the screen, thanking Mel for already putting the kids to sleep.

“Shit, that looks bad,” Melissa almost whispers, squeezing your hand again.

You don’t know many things for sure in life, but you sure as hell know Tyson will be spotting a black eye for weeks. But like the tough guy he already proved to be, he just goes on with the game, trying his absolute best to work as hard as he can, giving himself completely to the game, anything to get his team the victory.

“That’s the second time you gave my man a black eye, Gabe. Why do you keep hurting him?” you whine the second Gabe walks into the living room. For a moment the room stays awfully quiet, until you realize what you just said. “I really said that, huh?” you ask, fighting to keep the smile off your face.

“You sure did. But I’m sorry, it was an accident. Again,” Gabe chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Uhu, again,” you say, rolling your eyes at your best friend.

Gabe grins at you, flopping down on the couch next to Mel. “I’ll try not to hurt his pretty face again, okay?” Gabe laughs, shaking his head at you in a playful way.

“Is it weird if I, you know.. went over to check up on him?” you ask your friends, suddenly insecure about the thought of just showing up at his door.

Gabe gives you a soft smile. “I’m absolutely convinced he’d love that, y/n,” Gabe says, pulling Melissa closer to him.

“I know he would, sis,” Melissa agrees with her husband.

“Fine, okay. I’ll be back in a few. Don’t enjoy yourself too much,” you tell the two lovebirds before finding your stuff and almost running out of the front door.

You’re giddy the entire drive to Tyson’s apartment. This could go two ways, either it goes extremely well or this backfires completely. You’re hoping for the first one. Seeing Tyson get hurt gave you some realizations. One of them is that you absolutely hate to see him hurt, and you want nothing more than to be there for him, care for him, to tell him everything will be alright. Which brings you to your second discovery of the evening: you still love him, you’re still completely and utterly in love with Tyson. You can’t, really can’t imagine your life without Tyson in it. It’s your turn to tell him you need him, tell him you don’t want to do anything without him, tell him you still see a future together.

You pick up his favorite comfort food on the way over, cake. You know his nutritionist will hate you for this, but he deserves a treat after taking a stick to the face. You chuckle to yourself when you think of the small cake you bought, it’s stupid and childish, but you love it. The fun you already had makes it absolutely worth it. You park in front of the building, hopping out of the car and quickly making your way over to the floor Tyson occupies.

You rummage around in your coat pocket for the lighter you bought alongside the cake. Quickly placing the cover back into the bag, and lighting up the ‘2’ shaped candle. You snicker to yourself, enjoying this way too much. You knock on the door and patiently wait for Tyson to open up. You hear Tyson approaching, making it harder and harder to keep your composure.

The moment he opens the door his face shifts from slight annoyance, to confused, to happy, and back to confused again. “y/n?” he asks softly, looking between you and the cake, confusion clearly written all over his face.

“Happy second black eye!” you yell, before bursting out in laughter.

Tyson can’t help but join you in your laughter, if there’s one thing he loves about you, it’s your wicked sense of humor. “You really are something special, aren’t you?” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head softly at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“You tell me, Jost,” you say, giving him a wink before walking past him and inside his apartment.

“So you bought me a cake?” Tyson asks you, looking over your shoulder to the cake on his kitchen counter.

“I sure did, thought you’d deserved a treat after what Gabe did to you, again,” you laugh.

“He sure likes to hit me in the face with things. But thank you, this really means a lot to me, baby,” Tyson softly says, squeezing your hip with one of his hands, before grabbing two plates. While Tyson cuts the cake you look for something to drink, deciding water will do for the night.

You flop down on the couch next to Tyson, immediately bringing the fork with a piece of cake to your mouth. “Oh God, that’s so good,” you moan out, you picked some killer cake.

“Don’t make those noises, please,” Tyson groans, stuffing his face with cake.

“I’m sorry I picked such a good freaking cake, mister,” you laugh, nudging him with your foot. Tyson rolls his eyes playfully at you, grabbing your foot with his free hand before you can nudge him again and again.

“Movie?” Tyson asks after you both finished your plates, although Tyson finished the last few bites of your piece. Like he said he’s a needy and hungry man.

“Sure, but just something light and funny, Ty. Nothing dark,” you tell him, knowing he’d love to scare you throughout some horror movie.

While Tyson scrolls through the movies, you make yourself more comfortable on the couch, laying back against the cushions with your feet against Tyson. He looks at you, scanning your body, clearly thinking about something since his eyebrows keep furrowing and relaxing.

“Come here, Tyson,” you softly say when he finally picks a movie to watch, opening your arms for him. His eyes shoot to yours, like he can’t actually believe you just told him that. He gives you a quick smile, before moving towards you, laying down beside you.

He rests his head against your chest, just like he used to do so long ago, his arm wrapped around your waist. “Is this okay?” he asks you, making sure you aren’t uncomfortable, even though you’re the one who suggested this.

“It’s perfect, Ty,” you reassure him.

Halfway through the movie you can’t resist the temptation to run your fingers through his curls any longer. Tyson groans softly when your nails rake over his scalp, sending chill through your body. “That’s so good, please never stop doing that,” he groans out, pulling you tighter against him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Ty,” you tell him, smiling at the way his eyes shoot to yours.

“You aren’t? Are you serious?” he asks you quietly, eyes still locked on yours.

“I am, love. I came to the conclusion that you’re worth all the risks in life. You’re my light, my guiding light in darkness, my light at the end of the tunnel,” you say, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. You try to express your emotions towards Tyson, trying to make him feel what you felt when you came to the sudden realization he’s worth taking a risk.

“What does that mean, baby?” Tyson asks you softly, an uncertain smile on his lips.

“It means I’m willing to give us another shot, another go. I want to try again, Ty.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips when you look at Tyson’s face, the realization setting in, the happiness and the gratefulness spreading all over his face, the relief flooding through his body.

“How does that work?” Tyson asks again, clearly trying to rid himself of any insecurities, any questions he has. You gladly take those insecurities away from him.

“A clean slate, completely starting over again to give us both a fresh start. How does that sound?” you ask him.

Tyson nods at you, the happiness radiation off him. “A fresh start, I like the sound of that,” Tyson muses. The changes on his face fascinates you, it seems like he goes through a whole range of emotions in just a few minutes. Until he reaches one you know all too well, mischief. He looks at you, the familiar glimmer in his eyes tells you he’s definitely up to something. He sends you a soft and sweet smile, that almost melts you into a puddle right there and then. “Hi, I’m Tyson,” he says, extending his hand to you. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, this is exactly how Tyson is. Funny, charming, an absolute dream.

“You’re a goof, you know that?” you tell him, softly shaking your head at him, but the big grin on your face tells him you loved that. Tyson intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing softly. When he doesn’t make any other moves you take matters into your own hand, slowly leaning in and softly pressing your lips on his. The familiarity, the rush of emotion flooding through your body hits you like a ton of bricks. The feeling of his lips against yours light something deep inside of you, and just like that you finally feel complete again.

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