#its the touch-starvedness of it all

[thjslove]

I feel like I missed a lot. Well... it was a lot of this. And... a lot of... this.

[bugflies00]

c!wilbur with crutches post revival because he’s still weak from yk. literal death

REAL!!!!

realistically like someone else said post-limbo cwilbur wouldn't actually be a functional human being (given that his situation is literally impossible for a person) but he needs to be for the story but i think there should still be a level of like. He would have issues . lots of them. More than pre-death .

and i don't mean just like "oh i am sad because i didn't talk to people for a while :(" i mean that he would make himself sick scarfing down food just because he completely forgot the sensory experience of eating, then throwing it all back up because a) his stomach didn't handle food for thirteen years b) he has lost all ability to judge how full he is or what his body needs.

like you said i think he'd be much physically weaker, if only just from essentially sitting on his ass for over a decade. i think his eyes would also be MUCH more sensitive to light — i mean he was literally in darkness the whole time apart from the light of the train announcement board (no trains were ever announced). he'd get terrible migraines, which is where the headcanon i saw floating around about the red glasses being for headaches comes in!!!

and don't get me started on the touch starvedness. i think like i mentioned he's lost so much ability on how to read his own body that he doesn't even fully understand that it's physical affection he's craving — he just kinda feels a black hole inside of him but its been eating at him for so long he doesn't even realise it's there. he doesn't remember not being this cold and shivering no matter how many coats and blankets he wears. (tw SH mention later) i think he'd be misguided and try to fix the problem with warmth - blankets, jumpers, sitting by the chimney, and when that doesnt work, putting out cigarettes on himself.

in general he's in constant need of SOMETHING, of stimulation, to feel that he's alive, and here it needs to be burning hot to fix how cold he is but of course it doesn't work, it's not what he needs, but he doesn't know how to recognise that.

i think he'd also have a lot of trouble with sensory input because he'd be in a constant state of oscillation between being over- and under- stimulated.

on one hand, the absence of sensory input (beyond that of the train station) would create such a NEED for him to FEEL the world, to feel the grass and the sun and the warmth and see colours and taste and touch and smell things.

on the other hand, that very deprivation that creates that want would also have made him much more sensitive to it. essentially, the lack makes him need it and also be hurt by it. Yeah its a whole ride

[weirdmageddon]

ok no i disagree with these tags on my post. yes jade was alone for a long ass time, also speaking as a touched starved person here. but i think like, the epilogues reducing her to “horny half-dog” does her character a huge disservice. not only is there no basis for her being horny like 24/7 so it feels completely out of left field, her interests in gardening, making music, nuclear physics, her quirkiness are completely wiped and she’s incredibly one dimensional and it honestly genuinely feels like she was shoved in just to get in between davekat instead of being written for her own sake. and then she gets shafted by the narrative again through alt calliope. it did not feel like a satisfying progression it just made treatment of her character worse

also the fact that there was hardly any on-screen relationship building between her and dave. in homestuck these longtime internet friends only met irl for a couple of hours before they were separated again and then as i said had that brief exchange before the final battle. wheres the heartfelt reunion and catching up?? thats why it also feels off. that relationship mending substance wouldve gone a long long ass way and they deserved so much better

there are much better ways to write human touch starvedness than what they did to jade in the epilogue. i’m also aroace so i kinda just checked out when all she was reduced to thinking only about kissing and sex like…. uhhh. being aroace i KNOW and prioritize the hundreds of other ways to have contact and closeness with people and they just went for the lowest hanging fruit and idk but it felt so out of character. the epilogues in general were so out of character for the tone of homestuck

i want jade and dave to continue to collaborate on stuff on earth C like making music together / starting a band. that involves human contact and being around another person right?? but it actually does something with their character in a way that isnt filled with pointless forced drama….WOAH

it’s not even just about the sexual stuff itself either honestly, theyre adults. i wouldnt care if they had sex but the fact that there’s no buildup to the relationship after 3 years and a few days spent apart, (and then 2 more whole years before they turn 18 and become adults) the fact that that the nature of it wasnt like this is such wasted potential

see its sad when the girlfriend in this greentext has more character depth than jade in the epilogues. wheres the silly / eccentricities we’ve come to know jade by

[girlymatsu]

1, 4, 28, 38, 42

1.Do they have any crafting hobbies? Erina doesnt really stick to one craft long enough to be a hobby, will buy all the things needed to do knitting/needlefelt/sewing but then get distracted and leave it on the shelves LOL or get really invested in finishing ONE thing and then thats enough-- She does enjoy scrapbooking though!

4.Do they enjoy baking? LOL not really i mean its a lot of hassle and clean up which erina dislikes to dooo, also erina is not very skilled in it and tends to want to eyeball things then measure <3 is more of a, buys the pillsbury premade stuff to pop in the oven ^_^ lazy but yummy

28.Are they a #gamer? Erina likes games but not hardcore, likes mostly cozy/nintendo 4 the cuteness (grew up with pokemon and harvest moon type of kid) or narrative games that arent boxed into one genre... has a switch. not super into competitive gaming requiring a lot of skill LOL (is prone to malding lmao....) right now IM playing disco elysium so erina can also be playing disco elysium

38.What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares? Hmmm it's a mixed bag, sometimes theyre wacky and make no sense where she is going from one place to another minecraft creative mode style weeee with scenarios changing every 5 seconds , other times its a lot of oh no im back in school because i have one class i never finished!! often she had dreams about receiving affection from people who are no longer in her life because of her loveless touch starvedness life and it would make her very sad... these transform into osomatsu love dreams eventually tho when they get close and they no longer become so bad

42.Can they speak multiple languages? If yes which all do they speak and why? Yesss erina can speak japanese mostly living in japan but is originally born in the US and goes back from time to time so she can speak english, and also is taiwanese ethnically, knows basic conversational in mandarin from living with her parents... erina not very good at it ,can mostly understand other people speaking

[shimmerbeasts]

@jynxd cont. from here. Something that that Silco had discovered very early on was that Jinx had always been such a touch starved girl. Knew the moment she launched herself into his arms on that rainy day. An innocent child, throwing herself into the hands of a monster. A monster who, until that moment, held a bloody a knife in his hands. She'd so easily disarmed him, even before that moment. This was nearly reminiscent of that, the way she came running at him. This time, however, they were both their own monsters, a child into a fathers arms. While he had seen her coming, she did still manage to knock him do the ground, with much less effort than her younger self had no less. "Is something bothering you, Jinx?" Silco spoke, though he wasn't bothered by the closeness. He, too, had grown fond of these softer moments, as so often his life was anything but soft. Perhaps he too, was a tad touch starved, in the that respect. Not that anyone had the right to know such personal details about him.

"It appears you've managed to disarm me, as always, Jinx." Silco brought a hand up to press against her back, brushing it softly. His other hand brushed through sapphire hair, navigating down long braids. "You've gotten stronger, Jinx. I'm so proud of you, so very proud."

In the moment when Jinx had thrown herself at Silco's arms when she had been nothing but fragile Powder - a kitten, who had only just now started using her fangs and claws -, she had done so more because she needed an emotional anchor and comfort. A warm body, which could keep her protected and safe from the harsh reality, she had found herself in. However, this had not been a sign of touch-starvedness. It had been Powder, making a choice.

For Powder and now as an adult ocelot, Jinx had the exact same love language: Touch. Even when she had been little, she would keep running back to Silco, circle around him, rub herself against his legs, even if that already destabilised him - he had once mentioned something about his bad eye giving him trouble with his balance - and thug at his arm when she wanted to show him something, she had noticed. And of course, there had been hugs. Back hugs, side hugs, jumping up at him. Not a day would pass when Jinx didn't hug Silco as hard as her meagre body allowed.

That this was not always good for Silco's balance was proven yet again. Jinx came rushing towards her father, sapphire-blue eyes flashing in wild excitement and a fanged smile on her dark lips. Taking into the air, she threw her arms around Silco's midriff and knocked the much older man off his feet with mocking ease. The girl buried her cheek against his black vest and gave it a soft sniff, just happy to smell the familiar blend of leather, those expensive cigars and the strange perfume, which all combined made Silco smell of Silco.

Her father's hands found their way around her like the way a shark might swim closer and closer until its body graced yours. A soothing weight on the small of her back, shifting around in low circles on one end and on the other hand, a slim hand worked its way up and down her long, serpentine, cobalt-blue braids, encasing them in delicious warmth. As Silco asked her what bothered her, Jinx looked up and gave him the brightest smile.

"Of course, I am stronger now, Silly!", Jinx teased her father back, "After all, that training with that brutish bear had to pay off eventually." She chuckled happily before she eased off him and grabbed his wrist. Half-thugging, half-pulling him up, she revealed excitedly: "I finally finished building Pow-Pow! You gotta see her! She is magnificent and pretty and loud and she is gonna hunt those buggy Firelights to kingdom come! Come on, Papa!"

[oneweekwitch]

Quick Update and Headcannons

So quick update on my schedule for streams. I will try to do two a week on Fridays and Saturdays. Since you all voted for her, Patche will be hosting tomorrow's stream. I plan to rotate between her and Koa each week, since they both need breaks from library duty.

Anyways onto headcannons, since you guys wanted to see some of that. I'll start with Koa, since she has lots of room for creative liberty.

She was summon by Patche into the Mansion early in its history. As she was summoned by Patche, she answers directly to her and not Remilia, hence why she only calls Patche "Mistress". She has very good memory, which is why Patche kept her around early on. Later on, Patche kept her around simply because she found her to be a great companion. Koa actually has very weak Danmaku attacks, so soon after EoSD, (the first time she had been in actual combat), she started to learn martial arts and the likes from Meiling, so she could better protect her Mistress. This eventually evolved into her learning how to handle weaponry. Her weapon of choice is the Morning Star, an ancient sword eternally lit aflame, (Patche probably had it laying around with some other priceless artefacts). Aside from being a sword it can shoot flames from the blade, which allows Koa to replicate normal spell-cards with bullets much stronger than her own. Probably has a separate outfit for training/battle. Personality wise, she is normally a tad brash but quite when around others. Whenever Patche is around, nerves get the best of her, and she will frequently stammer, (Patche may or may not find this adorable). Whenever Patche enters her line of site, she immediately does a bunch of tasks, such as getting a chair, book, drink, etc. for Patche and refusing to stop until Patche is seated and has assured her that she is comfortable. Koa rarely refers to Patche as anything other than Mistress, even when around others. Occasionally, she will slip up and either call her "Master", in which she will be highly embarrassed, or just "Patche", in which she will be highly ashamed. Despite what it may look like, Koa and Patche have never done anything more romantic than occasionally accidentally brush hands, in which Koa will again get highly embarrassed. Koa herself has never had feelings for someone before, and thinks that this is all normal to feel when you are friends with someone. Koa is extremely touch-starved as demons don't really have parents and most of the Mansion's occupants aren't the "touchy-feely" type. Patche would, but Koa never allows her too, stating that she is not "worthy". Due to her touch-starvedness, Koa has very extreme reactions to any physical contact, which can range from very haphephobic to very haphephilic, depending on who the person touching her is. Koa is the only person in the Mansion who does not realize she has feelings for Patche, and that Patche has feelings for her. Koa knows Patche best, obviously, and knows Meiling pretty well since she trained Koa a lot. She knows Flandre well as she is usually chosen to play with her, and knows the rest of the Mansion's occupants fairly well. Archrivals/frenemies with Marisa, maybe even Moreso than Patche is rivals with Marisa. Incredibly overprotective of Patche.

Koa: Holy shit I was reading this romance novel and I think I might have a crush on my Mistress but I don't really know, can you help me?

Meiling: Congratulations, you are officially the last person to know.

Glad to have this finally done, I wish the rest of you a good night.

[its-fnaf-time-bitches]

Im sick of when i search up "advice for being happy alone" cause my disabillities keep me from seeing people and its all bullshit like "believe in yourself <33 know your not lonely when alone <33" like thanks my guy but i need actual advice, like idk when i learned if i took a warm shower it helped with touch starvedness??? Gimme stuff like that! I cant just believe in myself till the alone period is over cause for me it isnt going to end, its not temporary. I need to know how to actually live my life like this cause i dont have another choice.

[stellarspecter]

hi would anyone like to talk about bobby and willie friendship with me there are not at all enough fics on ao3 with them but just think about it for a second and tell me they're not everything come on

[doebt]

i honestly think my touch starvedness is why i cant sleep lately. its like going to bed on an empty stomach..i feel like im missing something or like theres something wrong with me like that feeling of when you feel so freaking messed up and eventually you realise its bc you havent eaten all day..like that but i havent eaten in months and i cant just walk into the kitchen and grab a hug out of the pantry or whatever. i just have to suffer

[hypmicdaydreams]

voice messages from afar w/ samatoki

-genre: fluff

-pairing: samatoki aohitsugi x gn!reader

-word count: 1.1k

"hey," a gruff voice resonates from your phone, the all too familiar voice of your boyfriend speaking, ha, he really wasn't all the best with intros, you can tell from the slight awkwardness in his tone. or perhaps he wasn't too keen on speaking into his phone amidst the emptiness of his hotel room. such an image was a tad entertaining the more you thought about it, really.

"just wanted to check up on ya, makin' sure you haven't died off without me there." you can't help but roll your eyes. you could do just fine without samatoki of course. you were thriving after all, kept busy by your work and the occasional sit-ins at the nearest cute café. and asides from the bouts of lonliness and touch-starvedness you felt, especially when you badly missed that dork's touch and warmth, you were doing just fine.

"you better be takin' care of yourself! i know how you like to just keep working and shit. you're too absorbed with it, i'm telling ya'!" damn, he caught you red-handed. you can't help but laugh, feeling a tad flustered at how well samatoki knew you and maybe a touch guilty for making him a little worried. well, it's not as if there was much else to do these days; being too concentrated on work certainly did give you a chance to stop thinking about your boyfriend and how much you missed him, deeply so. it came with its benefits, i suppose.

"you're eating the meals i prepped, right?" sigh, such a worrywart this guy. he certainly had prepared a few meals or recipes, knowing well how you probably wouldn't be cooking yourself, whether because you were busy or a bit lazy that day. that and, well, perhaps samatoki could be just a tad overbearing when it came to those he loved. you can't really complain too much though; his meals truly were delicious and warm, even after being heated up in that small microwave of yours. they still maintained that homecooked scent and taste, the perfect remedy after a long tiring day of chores and whatnot; your heart felt at ease and happy, able to smile and feel too warm inside thinking about samatoki. it did remind you of him. "i swear y/n don't make me come over there and kick your ass."

well, at least you could see him then.

you hear a tired sigh, one that makes the hair on your neck rise, as if you could feel his very breath right there on your skin. you didn't know until then just how much you had truly missed him, missed hearing his breaths as he laid right beside you in bed, a lullaby of your own; perhaps you were touch-starved after all. samatoki truly did seem exhausted, however, even when he wouldn't admit that, even to himself.

"i'll be back soon. finals are in a few days, so we just gotta watch that and then take care of some shit. but we'll see each other soon, alright?" ah, that made your heart skip a beat, almost immediately joyous at the thought of being in his arms soon. only being able to see him across the tv screen really wasn't all much. "can't have ya missin' me too much." mm, a bit too late for that, maybe (and you could see his irritating smug smirk from all the way in yokohama).

"it's gettin' late over here, and i gotta wake up early tomorrow. don't go to bed late, ya hear? your body needs proper rest too y'know." man, at times, your boyfriend did sound a bit like a nagging parent, though i suppose it's all for the best. he was simply worried about your health, after all, and your tendency to, well, ignore that, to put it lightly. it wasn't your fault though; you simply got too absorbed in things from time-to-time, and the result of that was that you often neglected your wellbeing. you were only human after all.

well, hearing samatoki openly care for you certainly had you feeling all warm inside, even as the cool night air blew through the room. what an odd sensation, the feeling of cool air on your heated skin, yet oddly comforting in a sense.

"good night," you hear the shuffling of sheets and a flick of a switch, "and try to go to bed early, alright?" he reiterates. "i know you're probably listening to this at two in the mornin'."

your eyes unconciously flick to the time glowing at the top of your screen; guilty as charged.

"but try to sleep soon, alright? 'm sure you got a long day ahead tomorrow. and i don't need to hear about how you knocked out at your desk."

you huff, as if he would be able to see you, at his words. you knew samatoki was right: you needed to sleep. but the day was so short and the night was so long, the only time you had off to yourself. you wanted to relish it for as long as you can, though i suppose a drawback of that was that you were too emotional and caught up over how you missed your boyfriend. perhaps it was the best to go to bed right now, before you ended up having itches all over, the need to hug samatoki or feel his warmth at that very instance. his shirts were beginning to lose his smell and warmth, you couldn't help but whine as you pulled them out of the dryer one morning.

gosh how you wanted battle season to end already, as entertaining as it was.

"anyway, i'll check up on ya' tomorrow as well." you feel a small smile coming on, happy of course to know that you'd hear him again soon. you haven't been able to call much these days, samatoki too busy from giving it his all in the battles. and texts simply didn't suffice, didn't hold that same tone to them as did with calls. ah if only the two of you could video chat, though your schedules rarely aligned as is. a shame, truly.

"get some sleep, and-"

it cuts off abruptly, you sighing knowing that samatoki must've accidentally stopped the recording at the slip of his finger. damn were you really anticipating his next words, knowing the effect they'd have on you this late (or well, early i should say), making you that much more touched and emotional. mm, it was probably for the best, maybe, or so you tried telling yourself. it was time to get some rest after all.

for that night, you fell asleep to the sound of samatoki's voice. you could feel a lingering sense of his warmth right beside you on the bed, the most comfortable sleep you've gotten in weeks.

[wonhaebunny]

📂 YOUR HEADCANONS ARE SO GOOD THOUGH,, i'll love whatever i get tbh

AAA I’M SUPER LATE BUT I WILL WORK THROUGH THESE ONE DAY (i actually doubt this bc every time i answer one, i get sent like five more folders,,, i have like 40+ unanswered folder asks,,,, h) anyways!

i hc that katsuki is,,, Very touch starved. his parents aren’t the affectionate type, and his upbringing has meant that he’s also quite touch-averse. i think if katsuki ever got a pet like a cat or dog (or a bunny maybe??? hehe) he’d probably end up petting it a lot. like, a lot. he’s not used to soft touch, and having something warm to cuddle with would be very new and very welcome with him. bonus marks for the fact that animals can’t talk and consequently can’t judge him for being so cuddly. he’d cuddle his pet constantly when they’re alone, giving it all the attention it wants and more. even absent-mindedly, he’ll trail a hand along its fur while he’s studying or scrolling through his phone. his pet would consequently become super spoiled, and always want attention or petting.

i just really like the idea of katsuki with a super needy, attention-seeking pet that he just,,, gives in to. by the time he’s finally curbed his touch-starvedness a little bit, his pet is already accustomed to the constant pets, and now he doesn’t have the heart to stop when it looks at him all cutely. 

everyone thinks it’s hilarious that he’ll straight up tell all might to fuck off, but be physically unable to say no to this tiny little furball.

[pressedinthepages]

Resfeber

Swedish. noun. The restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Lambert x Reader

Word Count: 1112

Rating: T

Masterlist

a/n: no request here, just the simple ramblings of a touch drunk romantic

Tags:   @whitewolfandthefox​ @havenoffandoms​ @MishaFaye @criminaly-supernatural​ @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely​ @magpie343​ @queenxxxsupreme​ @belalugosisdead​ @hina-chans-stuff​ @persephonehemingway​

(There is a link on my page where you can be added to my taglist :D)

Warnings: fluff, comfort, touch sensitivity, touch starvedness (?)

Lambert likes his independence. But his world is tipped on its side by someone just as sensitive to touch as he is, and he can’t help but wonder...

Lambert prides himself on being an independent Witcher. Well, that may be a bit redundant, Witchers are supposed to work alone, live alone, travel alone. But, Geralt’s got the bard and the witch, Eskel keeps finding lost goats to follow him around the continent, and Lambert? Well, he’s spent the last half a century traveling the world alone, and he’s been doing just fine. 

    Until he met you. You had been walking along the trail under the blistering sun, a small pack slung to hang across your chest. Your shirt was loose around your waist, and your skirt flowed freely along the ground with every step that you took. 

As Lambert had approached behind you, his pace a bit faster as he walked back to the town that had hired him, he watched as you tilted your head to look behind at him, sensing him there. He saw you take in his eyes and the scar through the one on the right, his twin swords, his armour, stained with wyvern blood. 

Lambert waited for the inevitable stench of fear, the accelerated pounding of your heart in his ears as you dash away. But instead, you only smirked, turning back to face the road ahead as Lambert stopped in his tracks. 

    “You know,” he yelled, rushing after you and settling into a comfortable stride at your side, “you shouldn’t turn your back on strange men walking along the road. You could be taken advantage of.”

    You hummed, glancing over at him as you reached to your waist. You deftly unclasped the skin of water that hung there, taking a sip before you held it out to Lambert. He squinted as he looked into your eyes, distrustful of this unnecessary act of kindness. However, all he found was generosity, and as he felt sweat drip down his back under the weight of his armour, he felt his distrust melt away. 

    As Lambert took the skin of water, his fingers brushed against yours for the briefest moment. You jumped, your heartbeat intensifying in his ears. Lambert clenched his jaw before he drinks from the skin, disappointed in himself for thinking that this random girl that he just chased down the trail would be kind to him just for the sake of being kind.

    You had seen him tense up at your reaction. Your cheeks had reddened as you clasped your hands to the strap on your pack. “I’m-I’m so sorry, Master Witcher,” you had stammered, “I promise, it’s not because of you, I’m just-I’m just very sensitive to touch.”

    Lambert had glanced over at you then, ready with about five different retorts about where you could shove your promise. But when he saw your eyes, recognition surged through him. He took in the flowy clothes, the hair that you had so carefully tied so as not to fall into your face, the light scratch marks along your skin. It was like being shot back in time, back to when he had just gone through the Trial of the Grasses. Everything felt too tight, too itchy, too stiff, too much. And even now, the smallest unexpected touch from someone could send him reeling. 

    Lambert had walked at your side the rest of the way to the town, peeling off once he had seen the ealdorman to collect his reward. When he had stepped back out into the sun, his coin pouch a bit fuller, he was surprised to see you still standing where he had left you. He had approached you slowly, feeling like his feet were dragging through the dust and the dirt. 

    You had watched him come with a smile on your lips and a glint in your eyes. You had nodded towards the other end of the town and Lambert looked, seeing a small home resting atop a small hill on the outskirts. 

    “Would you like a bite to eat?”

…

    Now, Lambert lay in your bed, dressed down to his chemise and undershorts, his belly full and his mind wandering. Once the basic pleasantries had been made over a hearty meal, you had explained that you had always been like this, skittish to the touch of other people’s skin. It was different if you were expecting it, you had said, but it felt like someone sending lightning through your every nerve. 

    Lambert doesn’t get it. Why would this sweet, charming woman who can’t stand being touched open her home to him, offer him a warm meal and a warmer bath, and even a bed to sleep in? The sheets are drenched in your scent, something akin to fresh rain after months of drought. Lambert feels his breathing slow with each breath he takes, relaxing into the comfortable embrace of the blankets around him. 

    He looks over at you, curled in on yourself towards him. The moonlight shines across the high points of your cheeks and down the slope of your neck, dissipating into shadows that hide the heart that calls out to him with every beat against your chest. 

He had been careful as he followed you into the bed, grateful for the chance to sleep on something other than dirt and not wanting to risk it with unwarranted advances. Lambert had let you climb in first, trailing after you as he kept as much space between your bodies. He finds himself wanting to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair from your forehead, knowing that it would bother you had you been awake. 

A crackle of thunder sounds far in the distance, the heat carrying the noise faster than the storm. Lambert watches as you shift, stretching in your sleep before your hand brushes against his arm. He stays perfectly still, waiting for you to wake and pull away. Instead, you only move closer, wrapping your arm over his stomach and resting your head on his chest, just above his heart. 

Lambert feels you nuzzle into him, the movement causing his breath to hitch a bit. He steels himself with a deep inhale, slowly letting it out so as not to disturb your slumber. Something new swells inside of him, enveloping his soul with warmth and comfort that it has not seen in decades. You, with all of your anxiety tied up in the sensation of touch, have sought him out in your most vulnerable state of sleep. 

He shouldn’t read into it. You were probably just cold. But, as you kick the blankets off and squeeze tighter around him, he can’t help but thread his fingers through your hair and let himself hope, just for a moment, that you were holding him just for the sake of comfort. 

[knollridge]

Long Day

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,583 wordcount

Hello!! Second attempt at fic writing~ thank you so much for the love on my first one, I really appreciate it ❤️

No warnings, just absolute fluff involving a rough day that (y/n) is having and how Damien helps/comforts you through it in which I may or may not have heavily projected quarantined touch-starvedness through

Enjoy!!!

——————————————————————————

Pressure builds in your head as you feel an onslaught of angry tears make their way to the front of your face.

Your skin is lit, as if by match-strike, with the dirty pink hue of heat and frustration.

Your whole body screams and you want to do the same.

But you can’t.

The toilet a few stalls down flushes and you hear the regular clicks, clatter, and rushing water of someone leaving the bathroom. Every part of your concentration goes towards suppressing what should have been a pleading and violent sob. Tears spill hotly down your flushed cheeks and you know that you’ll need more than the short period allotted for break to fix this.

But you don’t have that kind of time.

Your phone light burns just a bit too brightly on your stinging eyes as you search your screen. You have 4 minutes to pull it together. Feverishly pulling at the toilet paper roll you take immense notice of how loud the uneven cardboard cylinder makes every single turn, but choose - in an effort of timeliness and frustration - to ignore it.

2 minutes.

You grab eye drops out of your bag that Olivia thankfully gifted you last Smoshmas in an amazingly elaborate pun and dot them in each eye.

1 minute.

One last check in the mirror, and even though your eyeliner and mascara are gone, you have to call it good.

You briskly walk out of the bathroom and bump directly into Damien.

“Woah hey (y/n) I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He places an apologetic hand on your upper arm as his soft, brown eyes peer into yours.

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going” you mumble as you quickly cut the line between your shared gaze and turn to walk away from him.

“No worries! I wasn’t being as vigilant as I normally am, it’s been a long day already” he continues with a light sigh as he moves in to walk next to you. “Looks like its getting to you too, are you doing okay?”

Wanting to burst back into tears at the thought of anyone - much less Damien - noticing and caring about your emotional state, you keep focus on your footsteps and try to choose your words carefully. Right, left, right, left...

“Oh yeah I’m fine!!” your voice catches a small hitch as an upbeat persona takes over. “You’re right, it’s been a looong day hahah.” You turn your head towards him and flash a wide and almost believable smile with your eyes squinted closed so he can’t read them any further. Damien studies your expression, his thick brows coming together in question of your sincerity. A knot begins forming in your stomach as you realize he’s been looking at you without your makeup on. God, he knows. I mean, who loses their makeup halfway through the day?? It’s only a few more doors down to the conference room, I’m sure he’ll forget about it by the time we-

You don’t have time to react as Damien’s hand grips your forearm and pulls you into a small room and closes the door. You can’t see anything until you hear him flip a switch revealing a tight, three-walled room shelved from top to bottom with miscellaneous board games...and you and Damien, with standing room only, in the middle of it.

“Wai- what?” You let your arm drop away from his grasp, still feeling the weight from his hold on you. It knocks into a folding table topped with props directly behind you and as if for safety, you wrap both hands around the edge. “What are you doing? The meeting is going to start back up again soon and Ian is gonna be pissed if we show up late, especially if- if he...thinks we’re goofing off or something...” Your voice trails away as you see Damien move towards you. Leaning forward slightly, he rests a hand on the folding table, making the little space between you achingly overt. Eye-level with you now, he raises his head to look you full in the face.

“I don’t want you to worry about all that right now” he says in a low voice. “I want to make sure you’re actually okay.” Tears well up in your eyes and you immediately look down, causing them to spill to the floor. “Oh, (y/n)” Damien says in a hushed tone as he pulls you into a hug. “It’s alright, I know that meeting got really hectic.” You can’t help but to collapse into his shoulder. Each broken breath that you take feels cradled and cared for as his arms wrap tightly around you. You both stand for a minute, waiting for your sobs to subside while he lightly rubs his thumb in a circle on your back.

“I-I’m so sorry about this” you finally manage to say while wiping tears from your face. Damien loosens his embrace and places a hand back on the table, by your side.

“Don’t ever be sorry for feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. It’s like I always say, you should take 5 minutes each day to allow yourself space to just let it all out.” His gentle admonishment makes you feel more at home at Smosh than you’d felt all day. “I’m just sorry that those five minutes happened to be right now” he chuckles.

There’s something about his smile that brings on a small one of your own. “Oh gosh, I was already halfway there before you pulled me in here” you joke. “That meeting was supposed to be pretty big for me since they want me to do more with the scripts and stuff now...and it just seemed like everyone was talking over me and it was very loud and I really didn’t feel heard or understood...it was just a lot.” You think back on your initial reaction and realize you might have attributed a bit too much to the moment, but you see Damien nodding his head in understanding.

“Yeah, I noticed that you could barely get a word in and I was about to say something, but Ian called for a break and you ran out so fast, I was a little concerned.” Your mild surprise is clear on your face, and its almost as if Damien can read your mind. “You’re not as slick as you think you are (y/n)” he says with a growing grin. “First you rush off without saying anything to anyone, then you bump out of the bathroom and you won’t even make eye contact with me but I can still see that those pretty little wings that you do everyday are missing...I knew something was up.” You hope your slight embarrassment is covered by the subsiding red on your face from crying just moments ago, but you’re unable to keep a smile from appearing there as well. After feeling so invisible for most of the day, you can’t believe that he noticed as many of the little things that he did.

“You sound like a detective” you playfully scoff as you go to push his shoulder away. You end up resting your hold on his upper arm as you continue. “But...thank you...so much, for even bothering to check on me.” Your face is turned towards him, but your eyes fall to the details of his Jordans and your Converse in between words to keep focus on your train of thought. They’re so close together. “I definitely wouldn’t have made it through the rest of the meeting very well if you hadn’t. Thank you for making me feel at home.” Damien’s dark brows are tilted up towards the middle of his face, almost in confusion. He brings his hand to your upper arm as well, resting it right below your shoulder. You can feel his thumb just underneath the hem of your sleeve as he gently rubs it back and forth.

“Oh, (y/n)...that’s all I- that’s all we ever want for you. Any of us here. You’ve worked so hard and I know Ian was over the moon to bring you on as a writer...it really was just a weird and hectic start to the meeting.” You can barely fight back a new wave of tears and have to wipe a few stray ones away before they reach the ever-growing smile rising on your face. “Oh man, here you go again,” Damien teases. You let out a short laugh and try to gather yourself with tissues from your bag.

“I can’t go again! We don’t have anymore time!” You say contently, and slightly stuffed up. He can’t keep his eyes off your newfound happiness in the moment, but still takes the opportunity to rag on the situation a bit more.

“We never had any time (y/n)!” His eyes follow your smile as you laugh in agreement. “But I’m glad we made some because you deserve it. What do you say we go into that meeting and knock ‘em all out with your killer scripts?” You gratefully pick up an impression of confidence from his words and nod your head. “After you then” he says with a graceful twirl of his hand towards the door.

Your hand placed on the knob, you take a deep and thankful breath knowing that Damien has your back going into this meeting. You turn it open and can’t wait to begin sharing what you’ve created with the rest of your Smosh family.

[omegawolverine]

🎂🌈✨?:00

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

this is so very teenager who just graduated high school of me but literally all i want rn is a job that i can at least sort of enjoy, or at least not have anxiety attacks/sensory overload regularly while working <3 (last two wishes go to meeting the gay lil people in my phone, specifically you, annnnnd probably like. a good s/o to cure my touch starvedness /hj)

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

this is a very bad question for me bc i find a lot of things attractive and they are not consistent at all like i genuinely can never describe my type bc i dont think i really have one but uhm?? ill try and list a few??

guys: big fan of the more feminine boys, a sucker for long hair, im also a big fan of a boy who is literally just the nerdiest motherfucker around but not in a know it all way, i mean in a “let me infodump to you about pokemon even tho i know you have very little interest in it” type of way (same can be said for any gender tbh)

girlies: a sucker for girls who have less typical hairstyles?? idk how to explain this better sorry!! im a big fan of girls with rounder faces ig?? i love me a girl whos like twice my size, give me a girl whos 6ft+ and ill start foaming at the mouth uhmm im also a big fan of “over accessorizing” on girls?? like huge earrings, a shit ton of necklaces, rings on every finger, elaborate outfits, etc. (i cant be the only bitch pulling out all my jewlery for a fucking outing okay, somebodies gotta at least meet me half way /hj)

nongender specific things that i obsess over: crooked or gap teeth, freckles, big fan of redheads, people who look like they could rock my shit but not bc they have muscle, just bc they look super mean, anybody wearing a choker immediately has my heart, bitches that are smart but also dumb as a box of fucking rocks

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

richie tozier, jj maybank and john murphy tie for my most Me kins (but probably jj, despite the fact that he is not one of my highest kins. its the being a traumatized himbo who doesnt realize he’s in love with his bestie for me)

[crisislemon123]

Oh my! If you’re still feeling down, I recommend It’s Alright by Mother Mother and This is Home (or Home) by Cavetown! I hope you feel better soon❤️- song anon (that is possibly definitely also that one date anon)

Thank you for your kind words my friend (unless...👀❤️)!

I’m feeling better now, my brain was just being a problem, it still is just significantly less so

(It always helps to have a lovely Anon at my side!)

It’s Alright feels like a hug. A wonderfully supportive hug that soothes all of your touch-starvedness through its strong embrace (y’all know what I’m talking about) The soft fabric of a tshirt under your arms, somebody rubbing your back, the best kind of hug when you need it the most.

Thank you for sending this song, it really helped!

This is Home: This is one of my favorites by Cavetown, and I’m glad to hear it again! A very nice, melancholyish, knocks the wind out of you if you resonate too much, rock you to sleep song. I love it. Also kind of a hug song but more like something you turn to in place of a hug

Both of these songs (as well as you) make me feel so safe and warm

Thank you so much Song Anon! Have a wonderful night!

[theskyexists]

NONA!!!!! Part 1

So i was right about John all along. I'd be fucking pissed beyond all reason myself, I'd want to stab out their eyes and hearts with my own hands myself, I'd want to annihilate them in fiery fucking oblivion. But maybe not the fuckin descendents a literal millennium later.

How is Harrow in the river with god right now.

I could follow the preview part much better now.

I love how Nona is another example of a clueless protagonist. Again. I love this through line its so effective for Muir's storytelling.

So Nona has Gideon's love for Harrow's face, and Harrow's aversion to food. And Gideon's love for breasts maybe? LOL. and both of their insane touch starvedness.

She can imitate almost exactly the bodies of people. How.

YOU weren't going to last the distance. I.e. Earth. He calls her beloved. And he hurt her. Yeah yeah this is Alecto, this is Earth. But for some reason Harrow has become merged with her??

They did something so crazy to dead bodies they couldn't be buried OR burned????

The ones he loved.....stayed incorruptible.... What the actual fuck.

Fucking PHYRRA LOLOLOLOL yeah you charmer - even charmed the absolute horror that was Wake

PHYRRA is so funny!!!!!!

'youre gonna make a really irritating wife to somebody someday palamedes'

'myum yumyum so swallowable'

P: 'sometimes you remind me of my mother'

' a woman I'd kill to meet'

I love palamedes and cam SO SO SO SO MUCH

Ok so he just discovered magic somehow

Nona IS baby Alecto because cmon. The salt water. Ok no that is a direct reference to Gideon's and Harrow's heart to heart.

I'm getting a bit sick of Nona not actually catching the conversations. That is happening too much it's getting very annoying. First, interesting, now a gimmick.

Nona used to be hungry and angry...hmmm.

Nona's aversion to eating feels uncomfortably visceral. Reminds me of being a kid. It's so awful to not want to eat.

She's kin to the resurrection beast hanging over the planet. Can hear it sing. Varun....

Lol Camilla doesn't want to see what used to be Harrow's tits hahaha

Alecto is keeping Harrow in the river?

Nona NEEDING to know what pal finds sexy is absolutely Gideon lolololol

I DIDNT EVEN GET IT PALAMEDES HAD TO POINT IT OUT FOR ME THAT NONA NOT FINDING REDHEADS SEXY IS SIGNIFICANT

I JUST figured out that Crown is most likely CORONA

Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why the fuck did Corona let Camilla get treated this way then. She had to be described as the most beautiful woman on the planet for me to get it.

Oh no....Camilla and Corona have fallen out.... :'(

Hmm. Cytherea's alliance with Blood of Eden WOULD explain her murdering everybody.

Corona wants Camilla to cuddle her :')))) that is amazing and wonderful and also very funny

Corona is right to recognise both Harrow and Gideon.

Wait. What does Corona know. That Nona is the mushing together of Gideon's and Harrow's souls and they're lost forever......?????