#its the contrast of two people wearing masks to hide themselves from their people for different reasons while also being so similar....

[lovesickeros]

thought abt focalors + tsaritsa sagau fic bc it'd be funny as hell to throw them in a room together but now its actually got me thinking a little too much.......similar but only in the barest sense and complete opposites..one of them fearing celestia and the other trying to bring celestia down.

[sepublic]

Disparity between the Knights of Ren and Kylo

           But something about the Knights of Ren, in contrast to their leader, is that they seem so much more… scrappy? Dirty, unorganized, but also used and worn-out, and thus genuine? Like they’ve really put themselves out there into the harsh work with rolled-up, tattered sleeves, and you get this sense of them actually being in the fray and on the frontlines.

           You’ve of course got their dirt-covered boots and whatnot, but also you have people like Vicrul or Cardo, who use the hides of animals as part of their attire… Ap’lek’s cloak is oiled to shed aside water, he’s clearly someone who works within the elements to take advantage of them as part of his stealth, they’re his dirty unglamorous home. Clearly the Knights of Ren do a lot of work putting together scrap metal, like you see with Ap’lek’s mask, Kuruk having those pieces bent around his helmet to help focus his vision, Cardo’s mask is just a repurposed furnace plate! Ushar’s mask has a straight-up dent in it that he’s never bothered to fix, even when he has access to Albrekh; Likely as a twisted memento of honor and tribute to the victim who inflicted the damage. Trudgen straight-up has part of a Death Trooper’s helmet incorporated into his own mask as well!

           Then you’ve got the Night Buzzard, which is dirty and grimy, and has received constant modifications, likely by Kuruk, that cause it to spew noxious gas. Vicrul’s pistol has also been pushed to its limits with alterations, and Cardo is obsessed with modifying and enhancing weapons, keeping them up to date and ready for the next battle; The Knights of Ren have weapons that are a more cold, dull steel and gray, not polished and refined. Their armor and outfits feel much more scratched-out and faded, used and worn in. You get the sense almost that they’re kind of like scavengers themselves, similar to Rey; Making do with what they find, not too focused on aesthetical neatness nor tidy appearance, just getting the point across, salvaging trophies from victories.

          And, it fits with their philosophy, the Ren- Which revolves around basically just living in the moment, unapologetically taking and consuming and resorting to nature and instinct… Letting the ‘Shadow’ guide and feed them, like they’re always on the fringe of society, gathering and appreciating what they can and making use of it, having to make the most of their tools, constantly altering and patching themselves up. They don’t have the access to the best resources, not fancy luxuries or anything like that; It’s almost rather working-class, I’d say! It of course matches with their origins as essentially criminals and a cult-ish biker gang, a ragtag group of mercenaries.

          Even their original, nameless leader kind of fits this more down-to-earth, cobbled-together aesthetic, with a gray mask that he’s customized with a red symbol, amidst the scratches; Not wearing much save for a tattered cloak and glove, and his pants and boots, and that’s about it! Nothing particularly polished nor clean. He’s dirty, roughed-up, and covered in scars, he has not gone unscathed and he doesn’t need to protect himself from the elements, he wears his damage and past on his (metaphorical) sleeve and possibly even has a cybernetic hand, to go with the Vader parallel that Charles Soule intended!

           All of this of course contrasts with Kylo Ren, who… His mask is clearly hi-tech, up-to-date, with a full-on vocoder and mechanical function that causes it to open up and close, possibly somewhat vacuum-sealed as well. The metal is polished and shiny, the mask a smooth, likely painted, matte black. His clothes are tidy and almost prince-like, made of what seems to be more comfortable and fancier cloth and fabrics, a nice deep black that’s clearly taken care of, shiny boots, the works. While the Knights of Ren make do with just their Night Buzzard and weapons they scrounge for, constantly patching up and honing them between battles to keep them almost good-as-new, Kylo Ren has his clean and sleek, modern ships supplied directly from the First Order; He’s got his command shuttle, the TIE Silencer, and at least two TIE Whisper’s.

           His vehicles have red, vibrant and glowing lights and paintjobs, and are likely the sleek pinnacle of First Order engineering, with Kuat and rich backers from Canto Bight to contribute to development. Kyle Ron probably has his entire team of engineers to prepare and take care of his ship before him, even before becoming Supreme Leader- Especially when he tells a pair of officers to prepare his TIE Silencer for him, even before he usurps Snoke. He was clearly the golden child throughout his life in a sense, born into a privileged, luxurious family with a lot of power and fame; And then serving Snoke, who himself had all of the inexplicably vast resources of the First Order behind him, invested everything into Kylo Ren’s training and upkeep… Kept him well-fed and taken care of (at least physically).

           Yeah, Kylo has trained vigorously, and his own lightsaber is a patchwork job, but that was built back when he was ‘just’ leader of the Knights of Ren, newly anointed, and before he’d started serving in the First Order; And as a major political influence, with a LOT of authority and power behind him, serving as a triumvirate alongside Hux and Phasma, right beneath Snoke himself! You get the sense that he always had something to fall back to, a comfortable safety net- That when all was said and done, he had a retinue of medical droids to patch him up, a team to keep his laundry nice and clean and ‘presentable’. That he always had his parents who were welcoming of him, trying to be patient, always offering him the opportunity to go back home; He had SO much, and yet he really threw it all away for some fantasy, didn’t he?

           Kylo Ren really comes across as like… A privileged rich kid, a pampered brat who doesn’t really know what it’s like to work out in the fringes, to have to constantly fight and kill just to survive, to be fed the next day. To not have the luxury of mindlessly destroying the hard work and machinery, the craft of others he’s taken for granted, every time he has a temper tantrum- Leaving people to clean up the mess and replace it good as new. The Knights of Ren couldn’t be so frivolous with THEIR resources, they had to make everything count, reuse and recycle, scavenge from scrap metal, tidy things up at least a little; But they didn’t have the luxury to make themselves sleek and polished, nor access to the most up-to-date technology of an entire military junta.

          They had to get their hands dirty and personal, all of the time, they didn’t have the pride and privilege to turn down jobs; They took whatever mercenary work was offered to stay fed and clothed. And yet they remained just as vigilant and dedicated to the Ren as ever, never wavering as far as we can tell; Even when their original leader was slain, they didn’t throw a fit, but just made do with the situation, accepted that this was all they had left, and had Kylo as their new master.

           While Kylo was no doubt living the high-life at the very top of the First Order pyramid, we rarely see the Knights of Ren, who don’t have Snoke’s personal precious attention and protection. They’re likely out there doing the dark, unknown and unglamorous dirty work, quietly coming back to restock and refuel, no ceremonies nor worship from Stormtroopers, most of whom seem to regard them in disgust as ‘Ghouls’. Unlike Kylo, they fully chose and accepted and embraced their roles, they provided their ‘good’ deaths and earned their spots within the group, not fighting it, not constantly lamenting and whining about how they deserved better, because anything is good.

          Even when Kylo Ren became Supreme Leader, it seems that for whatever reason, the Knights of Ren didn’t embrace the new resources at their disposal- Did Kylo not bother to take care of them, or were they just so used to working as scrappy little mercenaries, that the high-end luxuries of the First Order somewhat bothered them? That they preferred to keep doing things as they did, that this organized, political and polished structure wasn’t for them. Hux regards them as distasteful for it, but while he and Kylo have entire armies and servants at their beck and call and disposal, the Knights of Ren have only themselves and each other to carry out the missions assigned to them, and they do their tasks silently, dutifully, and without complaint.

           To contrast, Kylo Ren has a much cleaner, brighter aesthetic, flashy and red like his lightsaber, and later the Sarrassian iron that puts together the fragments of his helmet. He’s a leader, a political figure, who intentionally draws attention to himself as the heir to Vader, he thinks he’s entitled to Anakin’s lightsaber, and can afford to draw attention to himself, he wants it. But the Knights of Ren, they have to be practical and dark, hiding to survive, Ap’lek especially, although of course some manner of exception is made with Ushar and Cardo. It’s not like they’re just hunters, but also prey as well, like the Mandalorian coverts… Their dirtied, roughened-up appearance, more battered and humble like what you would see with the Millenium Falcon, paints the Knights of Ren as more underdogs than their leader.

           In essence, you get this sense of privileged disconnect between the Knights of Ren and Kylo; That he’s this bourgeoisie rich kid, whose parents bought him everything, that he never REALLY had to work for things, there was no genuine struggle nor danger for him. Work and training may as well have been a hobby for him, he can afford to throw things away, while for the Knights of Ren it very much is a matter of survival, life or death. And with how Kylo wants to join them for some reason after leaving the Jedi Order, even though he only had ONE encounter where they tried to kill him, Luke, and Lor San Tekka; And all their previous leader did was just leave an open invitation…

           And again, you get the idea that Kylo Ren has this idealized, glamorous, almost fetishizing and romanticized view of what it’s like to be a Knight of Ren, that it’s some cool club to join- And not a genuine, forged-in-fire, rigorous existence. That it’s tough and painful and very much a deliberate choice, not something done lightly and for fun, which he finds out when he tries to join them for ‘comradery’ I suppose, only to be oh-so shocked at seeing them kill people, as if he hadn’t always known this. Kylo Ren didn’t really want to be a Knight of Ren, just his cool idea and fun of what it’d be like, how he doesn’t REALLY want the Empire back, just the idealized version of the past. He’s a pampered brat playing pretend, so psyched up for the dream of the job, but when he actually has to do the hard work and unglamorous parts, he caves and hesitates, while the actual Knights of Ren roll their eyes, because of course this little kid does. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into, he’s so dumb and naïve and reckless.

           It’s telling that the Knights of Ren have no issues working with Albrekh, an alien, especially because they know they can’t afford to be picky with their allies and friends, beggars can’t be choosers; While Kylo “My parents didn’t love me enough” Ron is willing to kill an officer for asking a reasonable question, and throws aside all of the people in his life that he takes for granted. Similarly, the only person resembling an alien that we see Kylo Ren actually work with is Snoke, whom he hated and eventually killed, and even Snoke was at least part-human, so given his worship of the Empire, and Kylo Ren likely looks down on non-humans.

           Not to mention, with how Kylo sometimes refers to Rey as ‘the scavenger’, and you get this sense of like… disdain from him towards her more humble, downright impoverished, background and conditions of her home life, and the way she had to keep herself fed. And you can’t help but wonder if the Knights of Ren picked up on this, that part of the reason they never enjoyed the First Order’s resources was because they knew that they didn’t belong in this neat and tidy, posh hierarchy of political society and advanced tech; That they were regarded as savage monsters and ghouls by the First Order, dirty and unkempt. Their own leader didn’t really know or understand them, he only had leadership by virtue of power and affinity to the Dark Side, but not much else; And he was constantly fighting the Dark Side, always in the hand of Snoke, never really leading the Knights of Ren alongside them as equals and comrades like their past leader.

           He probably didn’t care for, nor appreciate them- Kylo probably even looked down on them, even! Not fully and openly, but there was likely this implicit disdain and disgust… Or at the very least, he made an ‘exception’ to them, but with how he regarded scavengers and lower-class people like them… The Knights of Ren could only wonder just how conditional his tolerance was. He praised and elevated them, borderline glorified and romanticized; But he could never truly be one of them, he never knew what it was like, he had no idea, he could only guess and play pretend, and never admit that truth. There was a growing disconnect, likely a dissatisfaction between the Knights of Ren towards Kylo, and it just worsened with his agendas with Rey, forcing them to do the work of capturing her by themselves, forgetting the Knights in his own confrontations, etc.

           Kylo didn’t really feel like one of them, like a part of them- He saw himself as elevated and separate, more like lapdogs and attacks dogs, tools to point in a direction, not true brothers-in-arms on the same level, regardless of leadership role. And this ignorance, this subtle lack of regard and attention, quickly abandoning the Knights of Ren to focus on his drama with his parents, Luke, Snoke, and Rey… It must’ve been frustrating and alienating for the Knights of Ren.

          The closest Kylo ever got was when he repaired his shattered helmet using Albrekh himself, with the dented and scratched-up look more akin to them, uniting the aesthetic more… But again, there was always that fancy, graceful training from Luke and Snoke, and his special little lightsaber. Then the attention from Palpatine… And when he had to go to Exegol, when he confronted Rey, Kylo never did so with the Knights of Ren, because he never truly trusted nor felt like they had his back, he never truly saw himself as one of them, and didn’t think it necessary to bring them alone, to include them all.

           They weren’t special, chosen ones with the cool bloodlines and parentage that gave them special innate talent and Force powers, they were more like Voe if anything else. The Knights of Ren had force-sensitivity, but it was stunted and much weaker than Kyle’s natural, unearned talent and gifts; Everything they got, they had to fight and train and work for, self-taught and without the guidance of some wiser leader, because I doubt Kylo trained his own Knights either. Their fighting style is more brutal and utilitarian, with the use of a wide variety of tools and actual blasters- The Knights of Ren had to make a name for themselves, carve out their own reputation, because they started from nothing, and their original leader best exemplifies this with his lack of name, the closest being the title of Ren that he shares with everyone else anyway.

           The Knights of Ren didn’t have a special destiny, nor a bond as part of some sacred, prophesized dyad- If anything, they were more like Rey, before THAT reveal… Just lowly nobodies who had to make a name for themselves, stumbled across their own version of found family in a sense- Did what they needed to survive, had to go through the grueling agony of existence on their own. They actively looked for new members to add into their group, other lowly and despised criminals and others of society, as could’ve been the case with Karrst. There was no special place for them within the story, and yet they were still relegated to doing nameless, thankless jobs and tasks, not even acknowledged individually, and forgotten and abandoned by even their own leader, for some stranger he’d just met.

          When he turned to the Light Side, did their time together mean nothing for Ben to leave them- Of course it did, because there wasn’t REALLY anything there, and he never tried, or at least never could’ve understood, and never realized this from the position he was in. He tried to force his way in and it just created this uncomfortable, begrudging toleration by the Knights of Ren, until finally their resentment boiled up and bubbled over and burst; And they took their sweet time, vengefully confronting their former leader and beating him up slowly, because they wanted this to hurt. They wanted him to know what it was like to be beaten down with no hope, with no glimpse of light, nobody to pick him up and comfort him, no luxury nor resources or sacred destiny; To have only darkness and shadow to hide and thrive in, to embrace and become grateful towards… As they scrounged up and kept fighting, determined, not entitled by any parentage or destiny, but because they simply chose to keep biting and survive.

           Nobody seemed to care nor remember the Knights of Ren, they were just disposable tools for everyone, except their original leader, who really did seem to be on amicable relationship with them; Addressing them by name, in a casual manner that alluded to past comradery and shared knowledge, bonding… Someone they felt safe actually speaking up and talking to, asking questions instead of silently waiting for orders and accepting things as they were. There was no special Force powers, for they did not expect anything from the Shadow, and when they did receive, they made sure to venerate it in return, for of course this was owed back, they had to pay back the force that guided and fed them.

          They had a gratitude, and as their Ren codified, the Knights learned to disregard societal norms and obligations, and attitudes, and just live, doing what they needed to survive. No apologies, no glorifications, they just were, that’s all they wanted and needed. Obviously this independent, not-caring-what-anyone-thinks attitude was no doubt ‘cool’ to a young Kylo Ren, which was why he wanted to join them, while misunderstanding so badly how the Knights of Ren even got to that point in the first place, and what came with this. Kylo kept being concerned about how others perceived and looked at him, because he was a sad, pathetic, insecure little child; While for the Knights of Ren, it just didn’t matter.

          They could be hated, or beloved- It wasn’t important at all how others regarded them, because they didn’t heed how outsiders felt, they didn’t apologize nor account for their existence, didn’t try to justify anything. It was Us VS Them, they found solace in just each other, and recognized and prepared themselves for an entire world against them, anyone else as fair game and a potential enemy. Their prior leader rightfully regarded Kylo with suspicion, kept a cautious distance- So nothing was lost when they confronted Kylo on Exegol to kill him, no tears shed nor regrets made whatsoever, besides having not done this sooner.

           But of course, special Ben Solo gets his redemption or whatever, he gets his spotlight and glory as he saves the day, or at least sort of tries to contribute. He is glorified by the narrative and likely in-universe, venerated for his ‘noble’ turn and sacrifice, especially by the real-life fandom; But the Knights of Ren, nobody cares for them. And it doesn’t matter- They’re used to it, they’ve learned to accept and adapt, this is just the normal status quo for them. They don’t need veneration nor hatred, they’re just here to get through the day and only focus on what matters, themselves and each other.

           …In that sense, with all of this meta about the Knights of Ren being more like ‘nobodies’, poor and scavenging, having to work for things; And Rey, the contradictions of her character be damned, feels like she’d be a more welcome fit as a new leader than Kylo. Maybe there could be an AU where she joins them, and the Knights of Ren bond with this new kid, this little sibling, who’s a dirty feral gremlin like them who likes to scavenge and experiment, modify, messily and shoddily cobble stuff together.

          I do have to wonder if Rey calling herself a nobody, initially intended at one point to have no special place nor destiny in the narrative, besides the one she made for herself with her found family- If that was meant to be a parallel to the Knights of Ren and their former leader, who also calls himself a nobody, and goes by no distinctive name himself. I can only imagine, but I bet that a Dark Side Rey would be a much more attentive, down-to-earth, and ultimately preferable leader to the Knights of Ren, as someone who actually bonds with and understands them, and learns to value them; To the point where if she DID make a turn to the Light, she’d probably invite them to come with her out of concern, and the Knights of Ren would be touched enough to even consider, or at least spare, Rey…

           At the very least, I don’t think Rey would immediately throw them aside like the garbage they always were, because she was good now and too enlightened and heroic to be level with these evil monsters; She knew someone who was a masked ‘monster’ himself, Finn, and she fell in love and found acceptance with him, and vice-versa. Rey, for better or worse, has the patience to reach out and give others the benefit of the doubt, to hope for them, to not hypocritically condemn, for she knows her own mistakes and weaknesses as well… So I think the Knights of Ren in this AU would be much more likely to be touched- And that even if they were to lash against a reformed Rey, it’d come from a genuine sense of hurt and betrayal, grief and loss; And not just a relieved desire to get rid of this pesky brat that’s been bugging them for the past several years.

[autistic-girl-academic]

Hypmic OC Crew: Freestyle Angels

so I’ve seen a lot of people posting their Hypmic OCs lately, and that made me want to buckle down and finalize the details for mine!

An all-female team based out of Tokyo’s Minato Ward, the Freestyle Angels are technically an independent crew - they got together to drive out crews who were abusing their claims to the territory, but aren’t interested in winning more territory themselves. (Not that they’d qualify for the DRBs anyway, of course.) Rather, they serve as a foil/rival team to the Chuohku trio.

Sumire Kuino, AKA Queen of Street

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much” - Helen Keller

Occupation: Humanitarian aid organizer

Birthday: October 7th

Age: 30

Zodiac: Libra

Height: 6′0″

Weight: 165 lbs

Blood type: AB

Likes: Bargains, fixing things, dogs, birdwatching

Dislikes: Wastefulness, unpaid debts, technology, selfish people

Favorite food: Chazuke

Least favorite food: Fugu

The daughter of a corrupt businessman and his mistress. Her father was an associate of Sairo Tohoten, who helped him flee the country when he got in trouble with the authorities, leaving a young Sumire and her mother behind. Sumire’s mother, only viewing her as another mouth to feed, likewise abandoned her daughter once she’d found a new lover. Frightened at the possibility of ending up in an orphanage, Sumire struggled to fend for herself on the streets until she was taken under the wing of an older homeless man named Takayoshi. He would go on to raise Sumire as his own, with her quickly coming to call him ‘Grandpa’ and taking on his family name. Over the years, Sumire became increasingly protective of him in turn, and he and his circle of friends would jokingly call her ‘queen’ for her assertive, take-charge nature; Sumire was always exasperated by the nickname, but grudgingly grew to accept it.

Takayoshi was the sort of person who was always willing to lend a hand and always kept an eye out for those who needed it, and Sumire followed his example. After he passed away, she became a guardian for anyone with nowhere to go, spending her days building shelters, distributing food, and standing up to whoever threatened the people that depended on her. She had fleeting hopes that the Party of Words would remedy some of the ills plaguing society, but found that little changed once the H Age began. Before the formation of the Dirty Dawg, Minato Ward went through a tumultuous period where it rapidly changed hands between many crews who abused their power. Sumire stole a set of Hypnosis Mics off of one such group and began using it to defend the defenseless, forming a duo with Ageha Hinokuchi called the Rough Diamonds, then a trio once they met Kaori Sakuragi.

Her microphone takes the shape of a street sign, while her speakers are a graffiti-covered castle made from debris. Her ability, Bulwark, decreases the damage done to her allies, albeit at the cost of taking it herself. Her personal rapping style is based off of Hime.

Personality-wise, Sumire’s an incredibly caring person under an intimidating exterior; her default stone-faced expression rarely changes and she speaks very bluntly. She won’t really judge or try to control the choices of those she helps, but if she needs to put her foot down for someone’s own good, her naturally commanding presence makes it hard to not do what she says. She’s a quick learner who can fix up just about anything she puts her hands on (with the exception of hi-tech gadgets) and a highly efficient penny-pincher; show her something with a high price tag and get ready to hear a thorough breakdown of just how many groceries it could buy. Her biggest flaw is that she doesn’t always take care of herself as well as she does others, requiring her teammates to step in and force her to take the occasional break.

She deeply respects Jakurai’s work, but finds Hifumi too flashy for her tastes. She’s also helped Dice a few times in the past, but he finds her kind of terrifying and tries to avoid her. The one person who can immediately make her lose her composure is Rei; plenty of his victims have ended up on the streets, and one of them even committed suicide despite Sumire’s attempts to save them. Unless her teammates stop her, she’ll attack him on sight.

Ageha Hinokuchi, AKA HI-FLYA

“Once freedom lights its beacon in man’s heart, the gods are powerless against him” - Jean-Paul Sartre

Occupation: Fitness & self-defense instructor

Birthday: May 6th

Age: 28

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 5′6″

Weight: 138 lbs

Blood type: B

Likes: Pro wrestling, action movies, dancing, the beach

Dislikes: Muscle cramps, energy drinks, smoking, conformity

Favorite food: Barbecue

Least favorite food: Sea cucumber

A former member of the Party of Words. As a child, she lost her parents to an armed robbery, leading her to support Otome’s goals of eliminating conventional weapons from Japan. However, she increasingly found herself unable to turn a blind eye to the ways in which the Party manipulated innocent people. Once she learned about the True Hypnosis Microphone, she attempted to sabotage the facility where they were produced, but was discovered. In the fight that followed, a fire broke out; she fell from a great height into the flames and was presumed dead by the Party members who had been trying to apprehend her. However, a friend of hers in the group discovered that she’d survived and smuggled her to safety. After recovering from her wounds, she took on a new name and face, leaving her old identity behind to become Ageha Hinokuchi.

Her goal of stopping the Party of Words remained unchanged, and for a while she was constantly on the move, collecting evidence of their crimes and trying to come up with a way to stand against them. In Minato Ward, she happened to cross paths with Sumire Kuino, who had stolen a set of Hypnosis Microphones and was using them to defend people in need. Though initially reluctant to use one herself, she was forced to when Sumire was outnumbered and lured into a trap. Sumire, who was a firm believer in always repaying what she owed, asked what she could do in exchange for Ageha saving her life. This sparked a deep bond that eventually led to Ageha divulging her past to Sumire, and they formed a duo known as the Rough Diamonds. They later met Kaori Sakuragi and rechristened themselves the Freestyle Angels (incidentally, Ageha came up with both names, the latter because she was a fan of Charlie’s Angels).

Her microphone takes the shape of a portable music player held on an armband and a pair of headphones with butterfly wings on them, while her speaker is a four-sided boxing scoreboard. Her ability, Reverb, allows her to hit her opponent twice in one go, although the second hit isn’t as strong. Her personal style is inspired by Akkogorilla.

In contrast to Sumire, Ageha is fun-loving, always wears a smile, and is overflowing with energy; this is largely due to regretting how she previously lived, as someone blindly obedient who didn’t fully appreciate the joys of life. She can quickly befriend just about anyone and is a bit of a flirt, but only to tease. All of this belies a keen observational eye, though, and she’ll play up being an airhead to make others underestimate her. She knows a wide variety of martial arts, with kickboxing and aikido being her specialties. Because she currently lives and works in Roppongi, she’s also good with foreign languages.

Ageha is a big fan of Sasara’s comedy routines. She's suspicious of Ramuda because she knows he was involved with Chuokhu, but isn’t fully aware of his nature as a clone. Likewise, she detests Rei for having worked on the True Hypnosis Mic, but is much better at hiding it than Sumire.

Kaori Sakuragi, AKA wallflower

“Be not another, if you can be yourself” - Paracelsus

Occupation: Self-employed craftsperson

Birthday: December 5th

Age: 20

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Height: 5′3″

Weight: 116 lbs

Blood type: A

Likes: Homemade things, aromatherapy, reading, gardening

Dislikes: Cameras, busy places, the dentist, controlling people

Favorite food: Croquettes

Least favorite food: Beef tongue

Child-star-turned-idol, lead singer of the wildly popular group ‘Cutie Blooms’, Kaori seemingly vanished off the face of the earth one day. In truth, years of constant media presence, overwork, and pressure to please her demanding stage mother had driven Kaori to have a mental breakdown. Unable to be in the presence of other people without suffering severe panic attacks, she shut herself up in her apartment just before the start of the H Age for two years. When a paparazzi tracked her down and began harassing her for interviews, she fled and became lost on the streets of Minato-ku, but was rescued by Sumire Kuino and Ageha Hinokuchi. Seeing them wield their Hypnosis Mics in her defense reminded her of her original love for singing, and she begged them to make her the third member of their crew.

While her teammates have been helping her work through her trauma, Kaori is still afraid of having her face or voice recognized. She keeps her features obscured by glasses and masks as much as possible, prefers to stay out of sight, and primarily communicates through a tablet that reads out what she writes; she’s very quiet and stammers a lot when she does speak. During her years as a shut-in, she learned to provide for herself in a number of ways, such as growing her own vegetables and making clothes and other handicrafts, the latter of which she sells online.

Her microphone takes the shape of her tablet and stylus, while her speaker is a greenhouse that overflows with more and more flowers as she gains confidence during battle. Her ability, Tongue-Tied, scrambles her opponent’s speech. Her personal style is based off of Haru Nemuri.

Kaori is sensitive, timid, and somewhat pessimistic, but still possesses a very strong determination deep down at her core. She despises the fake persona that was forced upon her by the idol industry and wants to “win back her true self”. The more comfortable she gets around someone, the more she shows her passionate and cheerful side. She’s also very creative and good at memorizing small details, but at the cost of sometimes getting lost in her own thoughts and not noticing what’s going on around her.

She’s an avid reader of Gentaro’s novels, having sent him lots of anonymous fanmail in the past. She’s also recently started listening to Jyushi’s music.

[rassicas]

Splatoon gear information from Haikara Walker

In Haikara Walker, there’s a section in the book that gives some additional flavor text to many of the pieces of gear in Splatoon. I translated these a long time ago and put them on twitter, but it was incorrect in some places, so I corrected those translations here. I also translated info for a few more pieces of gear. Because tumblr sucks, I can’t have every description be accompanied by a picture of the gear without the formatting getting weird. Also its too much effort. Anyway, here’s a google docs mirror, or just keep reading below. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Pearlescent Hoodie amiibo A fluffy hoodie that feels amazing, it's the same model as the one Pearl wears. There are two rings shining brightly on the left hand, and three on the right hand. "Pearl-scout” seems to be the generic name for fans of Pearl. Marinated Top amiibo Designed to boldly expose arms and waist, it's the same model of top as the one worn by Marina. There are silver accessories on the left hand, one of which is a digital watch. It seems that Marina’s fans call themselves members of the "Marination".

Rockin' Leather Jacket Annaki A thin jacket with a striking two-tone color scheme, based on the Inky Riders. Even the smiling blobfish badge on the chest shows the sense of style given off by this jacket. 

Fresh Octo Tee Cuttlegear It looks exactly like the official T-shirt made by SquidForce, but  it's a specially-made shirt that Cuttlegear created for Octolings. It has been carefully recreated, down to the reflector print on the back.  Octarian Retro Cuttlegear Like the "Retro Sweat", this is a vintage treated sweatshirt that has a piece of a classic comic printed on it. On the bottom-right of the illustration is the author's signature. Of course, the pale colors are popular. Octo Layered LS Cuttlegear  An octopus version of the squid tee dealt at the Global Testfire two years ago. An expert coordinator superimposed these different shades of red. Many Inklings pair this shirt with the Studio Octophones, and both envy and respect towards the Octolings is something that can really be felt.

Navy Eminence Jacket Enperry This jacket has a straightforward design that completely covers the body from above the knees. The overwhelming presence given off by it hangs in the air, keeping others from getting too close. The lower garments worn with it completely change the impression it gives off, which is appealing. It's possible to remove the hood.

Octoking Facemask Enperry At first glance it seems hard to breathe in, but it's made of a special material that even allows you to complete a full marathon with ease while wearing it. Even if one doesn’t talk as much, the star design around the mouth speaks for itself. Octoglasses Firefin A luxurious design with gold accents that have an "8" motif,  all in a bold crimson frame. If one puts it on their head, they'll totally feel like a celeb. 

Noise Cancelers Forge Headphones used to shut out external noise, such as when maneuvering a helicopter. Because it also has the effect of increasing the wearer's concentration, it is favored by chargers who like to bet on a single shot. Squidlife Headphones Forge In the days when it was prevalent to carry music outside, these handy headphones were sweeping the world. As time passed, it became popular among young people who prefer a cheap yet daring style.

Skull Bandanna Forge A bandanna with a design that has a strong impact. It features an image of an Inkling skull. It's common to it fold in half and wrap it around the mouth. Whether or not Inklings actually have a skull is a mystery. Custom Painted F-3 Forge This perfectly reproduced military jacket has been hand-painted, making it a luxurious item. The squid's silhouettes lined up on the back represents the number that have been defeated. The inner lining prevents body heat from escaping.

Brown FA-11 Bomber Forge A custom model of the FA-01 jacket. The inner sleeve has been replaced with a sweatshirt material, and it's been customized with things such as embroidered badges. It's an extremely rare item that you won't see much of in the city. Forge Inkling Parka Forge It's recommended to dress in a mod-like way with the military parka and a slick, 3-button suit. The jacket hides the buttocks completely, so even in shorts, one doesn't know the cold.

Crustwear XXL Grizzco This T-shirt is from Crusty Sean’s fast food truck in Inkopolis Square. Whether it's genuine or not is a mystery, but one feels better if they wear it. The illustration of the fried shrimp topped with an ample amount of whipped cream is adorable.  Squiddor Polo Grizzco The uniform from iShipit, the company that’s helped us all out at one point or another, somehow leaked out of the company. Highly absorbent and quick-drying, it is comfortable to wear even while sweating. It looks so refreshing that it makes one want to start running. Juice Parka Grizzco It's the uniform of a famous oil company, but somehow it's made it to the streets. It's made of a special cloth that’s easy to move around in, and makes it easy for dirt to fall off of. With a weapon such as a Hydra Splatling or a Goo Tuber, one can perfectly resemble an employee of that company. Shrimp-Pink Polo Splash Mob A polo shirt made in collaboration with Shrimp Kicks in Inkopolis. The shirt features a vivid pink color, and has sleeves that are slightly rounded like puff sleeves. It has a shrimp embroidery on the chest. Whale-Knit Sweater Splash Mob Part of Splash Mob's House-Tag series. It's a traditional knitted handmade sweater with cute designs of whales, squids and coral. It's warm because it uses plenty of wool, and it has a pleasant, moderately weighty feeling.

Takoroka Windcrusher Takoroka An impressive, crazily-colored nylon jacket. The large printed Takoroka logo is a sharp design. The classic design is popular among young squids.

Takoroka Nylon Vintage  Takoroka The second model in the Takoroka Nylon series. It can be summarized by it's carbon color as well as it's shining presence and mixing and matching of colors. The boldy-designed backside is also worth paying attention to. It goes well with sporty and outdoorsy activities. Crazy Arrows Takoroka  Among the popular Arrows, there are many different colorations. Once one sees this shoe's crazy colors, the unforgettable and bold colors will make the personality of the person wearing it shine even more.

Silver Tentatek Vest Tentatek A down vest that aims to be lightweight. Many are also happy with the arm band for squidphones, which can handle heavy exercise. It is extremely popular with runners. Arrow Pull-ons Toni Kensa This is the first in a series of special order Kensa models titled "Takoroka for Toni Kensa." The multiple combinations of materials shows Kensa’s attention to detail. Even the design on the sole is lovely. Inkfall Shirt Toni Kensa The quality of the materials, sewing, and silhouette are uncompromised in Kensa's masterpiece shirt. The way the asymmetrical black smear pattern contrasts with the white background of the shirt is beautiful. One can be sleek and stylish.

Anglerfish Mask SquidForce A familiar, surreal mask that's a party good. As the part of the anglerfish glows, the visibility of the wearer's surroundings is enhanced, making it very convenient in the dark. It smells a bit like rubber when worn. Hockey Mask SquidForce A mask made of a phosphorescent material, designed after the motif of a cut open mackerel.* Because it glows dimly in the dark, the wearer can make their opponent tremble with fear. Keep this mask on, and do not go near the lake. *There’s an untranslatable pun here on how the word for hockey( ホッケー )is similar to the word for a specific kind of mackerel( ホッケ). I think the red arrows on the side of the mask are supposed to resemble fish bones?

Red Hi-Horses Zink An eternally classic model from its popular series that brought a revolution to basketball courts and the streets. The brand logo is decorated on the sole, so even the footprints are cool.

[jettremy]

24 for cas :p

( * seven minutes in heaven ~ PART ONE. )

                    ➥  (   24.  )  trailing kisses from stomach to mouth.

           WHEN SOMEONE DUMPS YOU & takes a big fat chunk out of your bleeding heart, you usually don’t end up making out with them on an uncomfortable, tiny as shit closet floor after four excruciatingly languid years of no contact whatsoever, or at least that’s the case 99.99% of the time. that rare, peculiar and quite miserable 0.01% consists of the world’s tallest dweebus & his besotted memey edgelord who are in the midst of producing a well composed symphony of sharp intakes of breath and light humming that might just be heard on the outside of the closet door if a curious ear happened to be in the close proximity of it. even though they’re S O L E L Y making out for the time being, the smooth glide of their mouths, the home-like familiarity cassius’ embrace delivers, and the aching NOSTALGIA for better times lure these obscene noises away from jeremy’s vocal cords, causing the faint moans to slip into cas’ oral cavity and resonate in his lungs, the vibrations transmitting the t o r t u r e d artist’s inexplicable need for the older, equally sexual & emotional. his in comparison two-centimeter-smaller hands trace every available inch of the other’s body, getting REACQUAINTED with all the dents and curves and in a way testing his memory when it comes to the data his tactile senses have previously stored. once they’ve trailed and teased the skin atop cas’ entire spine, jeremy’s salacious fingers become entangled in the soft peachy locks on the back of cas’ head, tugging briefly in order to coax a sound or two out of the one on top before slamming their lips together deeper and deeper each time. he fails to be embarrassed at the telltale whimper he emits once their burning tongues lecherously tantalize each other since this is the man who’s aware of jeremy’s tendencies to get vocal & noisy when at their most intimate, and above all because this is the man in front of whom he has no shame, the man who knows even the dustiest, most moldy corners of his being like the back of his hand. jeremy’s cautiously leaning back inch by inch, his strong abs tensing and allowing him to do so until one of his elbows reaches the floor and he’s slightly propped up. his unoccupied hand gets busy kneading the flesh of cas’ inner thigh when a B I T E to his luscious bottom lip ends their kiss in order for them to take a breather. his other arm joint accompanies the previous one on the floor and jeremy’s stuck gazing at cassius with a leer plastered on his amused face, as if the older put all the stars in the sky for him.         ❛     you adorable piece of fucking shit … you’ll be the DEATH of me, y’know that ?     ❜         a throaty chuckle’s added for the emphasis before he, abruptly and without a warning, drags cas up on his pelvis, where he belongs. his big browns are invitingly flirting, and vomit-inducing butterflies slam at his innards when he detects cas leaning down for another round of desperate lip-locking. except, his digits find a job for themselves on the small buttons of jeremy’s silky dress shirt. sure, they have only a few fucking minutes and they won’t manage to get very far, but who is jeremy lee to stop cas from doing what his little heart desires ?

           ONE QUICK SWIPE of skeletal fingers unveils a highly contrasting dark ink etched into a pasty, fleshy torso, displaying an artistic canvas in the form of jeremy’s chest & hard-to-maintain abs. among the scattered graphics, there’s one inspired by the splendid man atop, and it torments jeremy’s thin, dilapidated HEARTSTRINGS when he dips down to join his lips with that exact spot, the reposing male’s eyes naturally falling shut as he succumbs to the older’s ministrations and the gratification they give him. he can’t say he gives a damn about what he’ll look like when he exits the closet, with a collapsed hairstyle and devastatingly crinkled dress shirt, a suspicious, k n o w i n g look on his visage whenever he so as glances at his ex-boyfriend during the rest of the night, doesn’t concern with brainstorming about all kinds of gossip that will spread like wildfire due to the two of them allowing themselves to enjoy each other’s company in the way they truly desire. he’s jaded, enervated because of all the HIDING they’re doing, as well as concealing their once existing feelings in front of the group. he delightfully wants to inform everyone about cas’ favorite dishes he used to tirelessly, blithely cook for him, their hilarious adventures and the fact that he knows the older’s body better than his own, rant about his adorable, captivating quirks & kooky habits, brag about how he could make him blush without trying much, or please his every need. perhaps not every - if he had been capable, then maybe cas would have stayed, would have made it work, or would have taken jeremy with him, who was pathetically prepared to go to the ends of the world for him and with him, still is. perhaps then it would have been harder to leave, would be more HARROWING for him to be in jeremy’s immediate vicinity, perhaps then all of jeremy’s delicate touches would incinerate his whole being, both gnaw at & heal his ruptured, defected heart. perhaps then he’d feel like jeremy does, perpetually suffer just like him, carry a chest full of separation anxiety & a constant crippling bellyache, like an abandoned child ( which, coincidentally, he was ). it’s insane, worrisome that after all this time he only has HIMSELF to blame for not being worthy, good enough for cas to stay, for him to seek him out, reach out, check whether he’s well and with a pulse, say he misses him, thinks about him, smiles or cries when their memories inevitably surface from time to time, that seeing bikes on the street reminds him of the breezy rides jeremy would take him on, that tattoos will never be the same after him, dial him even intoxicated, out of his right mind. and though jeremy always slept with his sound on and phone right next to his head, never dropped the old number, he didn’t get a single call. too fixated on feeling him right here & right now, savoring his coveted touches while he still can because no one guarantees that this will ever happen again, he doesn’t detect the burning wet trails rolling down his face, paints his battle with suffocation as himself trying not to moan due to cassius’ cushioned lips being too close to his leather belt. he’s terrified cas would vanish if he asks him if he missed him, if he loved him, if he still has a sliver of olden feelings within him, if this means more than just cas needing him physically, more than just their starving bodies being PERFECTLY COMPATIBLE. and even though he dons a convincing mask every day in order not to perturb & plague two and a half people who give a shit about him, as well as not give the likes of han yeseul any material to inhumanely gloat over, he hasn’t been fine for the longest time   ——   he can sense himself slipping more & more, hands itching to burn a joint or an abandoned building routinely, too often for it to be considered normal anymore. a sane person wouldn’t let themself be manipulated, tortured like this, wouldn’t be collapsing under their ex’s spell once again   ——   alas, he didn’t learn & has no intention of denying cassius anything, which he imprudently affirms when he ravenously, anticipatorily grips his styled pastel locks hard as he awaits the businessman’s tongue to come in contact & glide over his sharp v line, causing his stomach to hollow and dip with the gravitational force, towards his spine, his tactile receptors both enjoying the sensation and finding it too much to handle. he exhales some of the pain from his rotten, aching lungs, wistful, hopeless wails for love emitted in the form of moans, his toes curl as arresting ELECTRICITY speeds through his limbs, causing his not expecting muscles to tense & clench powerfully as cas’ immoral mouth makes its way upwards, molesting all the sweet spots he’s aware jeremy has. his plush lip is nearly mangled by his incisors as a response to his hypersensitive nipple being toyed with and he can no longer restrain himself, prevent his hands from h a r s h l y gripping his former lover’s hips and making him relieve them both by grinding on him as more of jeremy’s tears pitifully roll down his pale temples on either side of his face. it’s not long before he’s cowardly tilting his anguish-stuffed head to the side, not only to conceal the fact that he’s crying but also to expose his neck in sheer NEED for cas, a string of vile curses bouncing off the walls of the treasured closet as he gets caught off guard with light suction on his tender flesh, whispering a hoarse, growly you can, knowing cas would immediately know what it means. he wouldn’t mind being eternally branded as cassius’, he’d haughtily wear any expression of love given to him by the adorably taller, just like he, hopefully, at least once, wore the ring jeremy got from his biological mother & gifted him as a symbol of his undying love. though he’d get paralyzed at the visceral memories of cas dragging his lithe tongue over his jawline, all the way to his shell where he’d whisper to him, now he forces himself not to shut down completely as it happens, not even when he gets asked why he’s crying. a deflective just kiss me proves to be enough to avoid the otherwise exhausting interrogation he’d be trapped in if he took the bait & answered that inquiry. 

          A BIG, HEFTY PILE OF DOG SHIT is undoubtedly worth more to jeremy than any of han yeseul’s opinions or words and would consequently evoke more emotion within him than she’ll ever be able to. the human equivalent to an intestinal parasite with an eternal, fat, spiked stick up its rotten ass will never affect his state of mind even slightly, or cause him to doubt himself and his actions even more than a mere millisecond. her little spiel the other day came into one of his ears and immediately exited through the other, safe for a single tidbit of information with which she fucked herself over. if there were any truth to her retching-inducing interest in cassius, she brought jeremy’s attention to it and now he’ll do everything in his power to sabotage whatever she has planned, because he’d rather die than let her defile & corrupt, rob the walking talking piece of heaven called cassius hwang. on top of that, he considers his ex to be highly intelligent & skilled at recognizing soul-sucking, good-for-nothing, money-hungry, skanky snakes. again, why the fuck does kerry hang out with her ? for a moment, he’s concerned about the girl’s neural cells and healthy judgement, or lack thereof. she must be at least half brain dead to hang out with someone with zero positive qualities. furthermore, underestimating jeremy’s ELEPHANTINE ego, unvacillating confidence & cockiness is a rookie mistake no one in their right mind should make since the honey-mouthed rascal is so self-assured that he’s in result convinced that he can woo just about anyone you could point at in a crowd of people. it’s downright pathetic how she ridiculously presents herself as overly self-confident whilst her insecure, attention-hungry eyes always stray to check if HE’s watching whenever she is interacting with cas, that she feels the need to send him taunting texts as if she’s fucking desperate for jeremy’s reactions   ——   FUCK, maybe she’s foolishly trying to make him jealous because she’s obviously fucking obsessed with him & not his ex ?! regardless, her devious plan to demolish what he has with cassius will be nothing short of a FAILURE, which is only further proven by the way the heated pair refuses to make their bodies part even as they’re aware that the majority of their given time has surely passed. ‘ ONE MORE MINUTE ! ’ a voice echoes, disturbingly close to the thin door, as if the meddlesome person has been listening the entire time, to the duet of smooching noises & responding grunts, but jeremy has no more than an eight of a brain at the moment & cannot be bothered to figure out who the owner of it is. with his spidery, inked limbs faster than his awareness of the action being done, he flips cassius onto the ground with determination and cages him, forces him to look at his overweening, lordly face up close before kneeling between his squat-thickened legs & slowly beginning to button up his unfortunate shirt. midway, he becomes bored with the tedious, repetitive task and yanks cassius up into a sitting position to finish that mundane action, only for his shuttered eyes to unexpectedly roll, head carelessly thrown back at the sloppy neck kisses he’s willingly receiving as his rose gold shirt gets fixed into the best state possible regarding the fact that they spent almost full seven minutes messing around on the floor.         ❛     you know birthdays are sacred, right ? … you should spend it with someone who loves you .. if you get what i’m saying … ahm. let’s continue this tonight, after the party ?     ❜         the evocative offer hangs in the air as jeremy’s gifted, elegant digits find those of the lanky male’s in order to hold them   ——   instantly they detect an INTRICATE ACCESSORY around one of the fingers, mindlessly lifting his hand up to inspect it since he cannot for the life of him hold eye contact as he awaits the nerve-racking response that could have painful consequences for his exhausted heart. promptly his orbs shine with recognition, shifting hilariously between cas’ browns and the object of his interest so violently and swiftly that they threaten to turn into an endless slot machine. he’s devastatingly BAFFLED, shook to the core, heart racing & hands blatantly starting to tremble. it’s that feeling in your stomach that only appears when you’re at the highest peak of a roller coaster, cart making a terrifying pause over the edge as it prepares to lunge down, and you’re a millisecond away from screaming your poor lungs out, peeing yourself and puking all over your buddy, but in a good way, you know ?   ——   does this mean anything more than cassius simply appreciating the ring for its aesthetic value, and is there any hope for the emotionally mutilated tattoo artist ? he doesn’t dare open that pandora’s box considering how little time they have in the privacy of solely each other’s company, but he wants to showcase his acknowledgement & gratitude for the fact that cas hasn’t tossed the piece of jewelry in the first dumpster after their parting. he topples over the man, pinning him to the ground strongly and nearly suffocating with a flurry of emotional kisses, those which shamelessly expose just how touched he is by a seemingly small, unimportant thing to the outsider, which means the world to jeremy. what he is yet to learn is that the festive group on the other side of the door is ready to steal this piece of heaven away from them and disrupt what they have going on.        ❛    dae, it’s over, open it~ !     ❜         a particularly ( unnecessarily ) loud blonde amazonian shouts from the ridiculously boujee sofa once her phone startles her by having its alarm go off when no one in particular was paying attention to the device in question. shockingly obedient, daehyun gives the closet another awfully polite knock & announces that they will be letting them outside before poking their little head through the thinly cracked door, eyes innocently peering & needing a bit of time to adjust to the darkness before they yelp at the sight of the ongoing, all but chaste scene before them. embarrassed, with pink hued cheeks, they regretfully shut it and back away a little, whispering a few words of warning to the hot & bothered pair, so that they wouldn’t be discovered by the remainder of the group. they mentally smirk like the evil little minx they are, though, because their INTUITION was right yet again.         ❛     guys ! hurry up !     ❜         daehyun rushes them in now full on panic when their ears pick up on a set of dooming footsteps coming towards them chillingly, and they’re right to do so, making jeremy laughably snap out of it & pull back from cassius in a matter of seconds, as if his ex has been crafted from fucking lava itself. shit. he clears his throat & straightens up, aiding cas to his feet and brazenly winking at daehyun   ——  he’s convinced they’ll be taking this mutually shameful little incident to the grave anyway, partially because of their baseless & quite frankly ridiculous fear of cassius. the cogs in his overflowing brain surprisingly start turning swiftly & he masterfully begins pretending to continue a business conversation with cas, something about promoting his tattoo show on his radio station, as they step out of the closet & join the ogling bunch, not paying them the time of day since he doesn’t want to see their prying expressions and beady little eyes scanning them from head to toe as if they’re america’s most wanted criminals. he simpers victoriously when cas announces that the game should be over in order for them to get to the established birthday venue in time for their reservation, and as everyone casually packs up & moves outside towards the over the top limo, jeremy bluffs being busy looking for something in order to be the last one out with cas who needs to lock up the place, only to steal a sneaky peck & give his irresistible ass a squeeze sub rosa. he runs off to join their friends before he can hear cas potentially complain.

          A COLOURFUL DISPLAY OF AMBROSIAL DRINKS decorates the opulent, chic black table of the private booth, the grandest & most exclusive one in the entirety of the polished & tastefully stylized venue   ——   at the very arrival, a frivolous discussion was held about which celebrities might have sat in whose seat, neglecting the fact that KENT, OHIO isn’t HOLLYWOOD per se. jeremy has no doubt that this, along with the posh birthday dinner they attended prior to the nightclub, has only made a small dent in cas’ account   ——   a street rat like jeremy ( one that cassius’ affluent parents accepted warmly regardless of the fact that he wasn’t as well-heeled as them, for which he will carry everlasting gratitude in his heart ) could never imagine having enough money to splurge on a similar event he’d forget anyways if he let himself negligently dive into his notoriously reckless alcohol consumption. with his lonesome prepregaming, the drinking games they played, wine that was served along with dinner and this being their first round of drinks here, the architect equipped with a stomach of steel is still certain on his feet & clear in his mind, enough to pick up on a set of venomous eyes burning holes in his skull as he endearingly follows the birthday boy with his own pair of obsidians. since she’s withing an earshot & the music is yet to reach brain-liquifying levels, he scoffs & addresses her without allowing the others to sense any negative vibes.           ❛     give it a rest with the ogling, yeseul … you’re not my type. but it seems that doesn’t go for that dude over there, so be a p e s t elsewhere,     ❜         he motions vaguely until the literal demon goddess herself, chu yumi, comes to collect her frenemy ( & hopefully drag her back to the frozen depths of hell where they both belong ), buzzing about a threesome & whatever else jeremy didn’t manage to catch her ranting about due to her insufferable, fast speaking manner, and he can’t say he’s interested. though chumi has that same irritatingly-crafted, arrogant, emotionally fucking stupid vixen personality to her, at least he can go without taking her blabbing head off her shoulders whilst they’re together in a room for longer than five minutes, and he believes he could be tolerant when it comes to the other snake too only if she dropped her pitiful attempts to annoy him by messing with someone he obviously cares about more than anyone’s ever cared for her. alas, he was’t about to duel her & disappoint cas by quarreling and ruining his day, so he played it off as if he didn’t know she was staring at him because she was continuing to see through his bullshit, or however she phrased it that one time when she tried to lecture him. a light burn of booze down the throat deletes her presence from his already cluttered brain entirely & for the rest of the night he can’t say that she crosses his mind at all. it passes majorly with daehyun’s whiny, restless tugs & yanks of his silky sleeves towards the dance floor, and he ultimately does cave without being the single grim black sheep of the group, but he frequently goes back to their booth for a calming cigarette & another taste of alcohol, because without an intoxicating sip beforehand he physically wouldn’t be able to make a fool of himself carelessly in a dance circle. currently the artist is on a mini break in order for his feet & calves to recover, two pieces of a minty fresh bubblegum popped into his mouth after his last death stick; all alone in his seat, he’s checking the appointments he has for the next week, since he cleared the schedule for cas’ birthday   ——   the biggest pieces he already has all sketched up and confirmed with the customer, so he’s not too stressed about taking a few days off. he reflexively raises his unfocused pupils from the multicoloured pixels when he feels someone drop beside him, the deafening music preventing him from hearing their hard breathing, but he can see the hyper rise & fall of cas’ slightly sweaty chest. he carefully lowers his phone down onto the table, meticulous about avoiding a couple of wet spots from cocktail spillage, and offers the exhausted dancer his untouched glass of water, watching him gulp it down in seconds, making it disappear like a magician. always being generous ( philanthropic, even ) with compliments when it comes to cas, he leans up to his ear & makes sure to let him know how SEXY he was up on that dance floor, his hand unabashedly landing on his muscular thigh, the shell covered with nips & torturing, languid laps of jeremy’s tongue. light strokes & squishes interchange, as if he’s kneading dough under the table, and his free hand tilts the gorgeous, glowing man’s head towards himself. no one’s looking, he whispers nostalgically   ——   he frequently used to be on the receiving end of those secretive words when, nine years ago, they hung out in their neighbourhood & jeremy wasn’t openly CASSEXUAL, so he worried about kissing him in public in the fear of having his ass kicked by his homophobic friends. tonight, he’s the one to reassure the other that no one but strangers would discover them, and soon lazy, tipsy smiles melt & mold together euphorically   ——   it’s the club atmosphere, he assumes, heightening the sexual desire, since generally he would be more than fine with solely getting kisses for days, but now it’s as if he’ll wither & die if he doesn’t get the older on his lap immediately. a pleading let’s go gets repeated a couple of times in sheer need before the ache for cas’ body becomes so unbearable that he has to speak his mind.          ❛    leave the limo for them, tell the driver to pick us up in a different car. half of them have scattered already anyway, they won’t notice we’re gone. if they do, i’ll tell them i took you home because you were sick tomorrow.   ——   fuck’s sake, we don’t have to explain ourselves to them.     ❜         it doesn’t take too much convincing since when they look around there’s none of their friends in sight, most having found entertainment in each other’s or a stranger’s company. besides, they have the driver’s number shared in their group chat, as well as junhyuk having one of his own, as well as enough money to get each of them an uber SEPARATELY, so jeremy isn’t worried about those grown ass motherfuckers at all. he cannot recall the entirety of the following events, only getting some fresh air with cas before holding hands in the backseat of the car, small nuzzles exchanged as they did their best to keep their manners & not traumatize the poor employee. but he does clearly remember how they didn’t jump each other’s bones as soon as they set foot into the house, how they were both sober enough to know they really wanted each other, how they played it cool for a couple of minutes in the kitchen, or fuck   ——   maybe it was their ancient feelings crawling back, preventing them from doing it unemotionally, and instead setting up a slightly more ROMANTIC scenario than they would for a pure stranger.         ❛     ah, but am i really worthy of your super special, limited edition, exclusive, vintage, valued at approx. couple a’ thousands o’ dollars whiskey ? tsk, you flatter me, cassie.     ❜         a purr tickles the shell of cassius’ ear as jeremy presses his lean body against the older’s back. though he’s slightly shorter, he can still peek over the other’s shoulder and see him pouring some of the amber liquor on the rocks in two pricey glasses at the kitchen counter, and jeremy knows he could make him drop & spill all that money by catching him off the guard with his touches, but he can’t help it when his starving mouth grazes the side of his ex’ exposed neck, impatient hands pulling at the slightly tucked shirt & exploring the smooth flesh below. he hyperfocuses on the spot which elicits the loudest of noises, and he can feel a gulp underneath his tongue as cassius swallows his shot. he gives him enough space to turn around, one of his inklike brows lifting curiously as he gets offered his drink   ——   claiming his hands are awfully busy, he parts his lips ridiculously with the tip of his tongue poking out, bratty, daring but twinkling eyes observing him until he feels the liquid hit his tasting muscle, the excess spilling down the sides of his chin, luring out a few of his signature giggles. it’s as if a sudden switch is flipped when jeremy stops with his shenanigans & you could cut the tension with a knife between them when they both notice a glint in each other’s eye, rushing to collide their desperate lips, greedily suckling at each other & tasting alcohol, becoming braver & braver with each passing second, burning hands wandering, teasing, groping, pulling at the annoying garments as their backs hit the walls and counters in this lustful battle. and it isn’t until he gently grips cassius’ throat that they manage to catch a breath.         ❛     on your knees,     ❜         he commands calmly, unshakable resolution clear in his gruff voice. he knows cassius won’t be able to resist it, he knows his legs will shake at the sound of it. and why not bless a couple of different rooms, when they have the luxurious abode all to themselves ?

          ALL SPREAD OUT ON HIS EX’S BED, jeremy’s cozily resting on his v-shaped back with dormant cassius all curled up and preciously molded into his side. the younger’s swollen lips are abnormally, attractively crimson in color, all the hemoglobin rushing to those overworked, puffed petals which are now gingerly pressed in a nurturing, soothing pucker against a smooth, golden patch of skin on the SLEEPING BEAUTY’s no longer sweaty forehead   ——   he’s been awake for the past nine minutes, putting his all into convincing himself that he’s not lucid dreaming or perhaps high as all hell, painting the unreachable picture he’s been yearning to see for the past four years. he’s whispering the sweetest of nothings as loving, no longer held back pecks get delivered to the comatose features of the adored individual, yet he knows not even those would wake the snoozing giant after how badly, triumphantly jeremy has tired him out, combined with the numbing spirits they consumed during their celebrations. thanks to this unlimited  ‘cassius - vital information’  bank, he dexterously sneaks out of his embrace & dreaming nest, covering himself by a pair of fitted black boxer briefs which leave nothing to your devilish imagination, and heads out of the room in order to prepare one of his unmistakably appetizing culinary creations, which raise from the dead, obtain a glass of water & painkillers for a potential headachin’ beanstalk, but his quest is derelict once he hears commotion & a cacophony of bangs, hums & steps coming from the floor below   ——   it dawns upon him that cas isn’t the singular inhabitant of this chateau-esque manor and that having his studious, virginal mansionmate catch him at his peaceful dwelling this early in the morning and so scantily-clad would be a grand calamity. with a low curse murmured under his perfectly face-appropriate nose, he makes a swift half ballerina twirl & returns to his ex, an endeared smile blessing & stretching his pillowy lips when he sees the drowsy, dazed man blindly investigating the crinkled, still warm yet empty spot beside him in search for something or someone. HIM ? should he allow himself to dream that cas is needing him & thinking of him right as he lifts his heavy eyelids, and that he’s not hunting for an item as simple as his phone in order to check the time ?         ❛     hush, i’m here … i tried to go and make you some breakfast, but junhyuk’s causing a ruckus downstairs and i doubt you want him to know i spent the night …     ❜         jeremy thoughtlessly gives himself the right to assume cassius wouldn’t be overjoyed if anyone found out that they hooked up, let alone learned about their past. though the forlorn, anarchic tattoo artist himself has no problem with it, he’s convinced that cas would be devastatingly ashamed to admit his heart once belonged to someone as woeful, wretched, toxic & eccentric as jeremy, so he’s eternally thankful that taemin hasn’t squeaked to anyone about it yet. he dives deep into the softness of the most comfortable, homely mattress in the world, unlaxing on his side this time as he pulls closer the man who’s mirroring his position, the thick white duvet covering their nude bodies, safe for jeremy’s underwear slipped on in a rush. his restless, greedy hand finds its place on cas’ narrow waist and travels lower on its own accord, stroking & soothing each and every muscle it eventually reaches.        ❛    sore ?     ❜         an unhesitant nod lures a complacent, yet not too wide or toothy grin onto his amused features   ——   jeremy really did a number on him last night, but neither of them were complaining whilst in the heat of the moment, unbothered & unaware of both physical & emotional, inexorable consequences of their indomitable arousal & sweet sin.         ❛     tired ? hungover ?     ❜         the additional unreluctant affirmations cause a childlike coo to strum his vocal cords, and he brigs some needed moisture to his lips with a singular swipe of his proficient tongue before connecting their rosiness with his favorite pair in the world, heart pouncing humiliatingly when he feels a hand on himself as well, encouraging him to resume the session for at least a few minutes. here, right here, is his SERENITY, his SAFETY, his HEAVEN, his HOME   ——   right here in cas’ arms, where everything is okay, where the one who’s holding him is the one who’s to be credited for jeremy’s pulse not flatlining yet, for his insides twisting & curling, his palms sweating & toes curling, the one who makes him nervous & blissful, the one he wants to cry with and laugh with and live with for the remainder of his days on this cursed earth, the one he’ll love until the very last breath leaves his lungs, and even longer if anything awaits after death. he knows that a lifetime with this man wouldn’t be enough, that he’d be a REBORN BELIEVER, that he’d pray on his bleeding knees that death wouldn’t do them part. as the waltz of slippery pink muscles meets its end with a timid titter, jeremy’s caring thumb comes up to hastily wipe at cas’ bite-mark adorned lower lip, pecking over it as if to heal the lightest of imprints. he harmoniously entwines their fingers on the disrupted mattress between them, tracing the meaningful ring cas is still wearing, fondly, recalling seeing it in the closet, having flashes of his cerebration from back then, remembering their breakup, and the idyllic little bubble of bliss he’s been captured in since last night BURSTS without warning. gingerly, warily he brings their joint hands up to his quivering mouth & kisses the ring before wordlessly resting them down & gazing lamentably at the man he loves, as if he’s in mourning. he has no right to still be here, or talk about making breakfast and nursing him through a hangover, or even imagine hanging out for the rest of the day, cuddling, watching movies and maybe going for round number whichever. he yet again recalls their text exchange where cassius questioned if jeremy still had feelings for him, and he made it clear last night, whispering hushed I LOVE YOUs to him while they were making love repeatedly, and all jeremy wants to ask now is if cas has them too. he wants to beg him to spare him of all the misery, of tragic hoping, to help him either come to terms of it being fully over and aid him in moving on, or give him a reason to work on them, on getting back to what they used to be to each other, an improved version of THEM. but he can’t. and he has no right to try & sabotage whoever wants to get with cas, because he’s a free man with a mind of his own. all jeremy wants for him is to be happy, and he tries to convince himself that he’s been attempting to keep him away from bad people, but if they are the source of cas’ happiness, he’ll gladly step back.       ❛     have i overstayed my welcome ? should i go ?     ❜         he asks directly, eyes glassy and leaking onto the pillow below his tragic head. but all he wants to know is   ——   do you still love me ? can i have another chance to make it right ?

[fashionreplacementtherapy-blog]

Clothing tips for trans men

Ever found clothing you like but when you put it on it just doesn’t look or feel great at all? If you’re trans like me that probably happens way too much. With these tips I hope make choosing clothes easier for those who might not fit into the limited body types off the rack men’s clothes are made for.

Mainly I’m going to talk about how to dress more masculine with a feminine body shape like mine. I’ll talk about what I look for in clothes and how to hide or emphasise aspects of your body for a more ‘traditionally masculine’ look.

Maybe you’ve already found pieces you love, but do you know exactly why they work so well? If you do, it makes finding more like it much easier.

First, a disclaimer:

One of the most important clothing tips I can give trans men is that you like what you wear. It should make you feel more confident and true to who you are. People are able to tell when you like your clothes, that you belong in them, so to speak.

I talk about masculine and feminine looks or clothes, but that’s purely about how that’s generally perceived. Not at all to say what you ‘should’ wear as a man, or anything along those lines. Wear whatever you like. If it’s from the men’s or women’s section of the shop doesn’t matter, as long as it works for you. My personal style goal is on the masculine side, for now.

Above all, it should make you feel better about yourself. I’m two years into transitioning medically and am still misgendered 99% of the time. But I’ve reached the point where people are starting to read me as male at first glance. My face and voice give me away, which I doubt will change until I can grow a beard or my voice deepens enough, no matter what clothes I wear. Finding the right clothes that make me closer to what I want to see in the mirror helps an awful lot in how I feel, however.

Body shape

That first glance where people read me as male for a split second is in part based on my silhouette. Whether my body shape is instinctively assumed to be male or female.

In general men tend to have a more top heavy, blocky or rectangular silhouette than women. Think wide shoulders and a body that tapers down to the waist, like an inverted triangle. Others are more straight up and down, or carry more weight in the stomach area, above the waist. Women tend to have narrower shoulders and wider hips. They tend to carry more weight around the hips and thighs.

Now broad shoulders and narrow hips may be the male ideal for some, but a blocky, more rectangular silhouette is easier (and plenty) to aim for using clothing. You can emphasise your shoulders and de-emphasise hips, for example, with the type and fit of clothing you pick. Use them to create a more blocky, ‘male’ silhouette.

I have narrow shoulders, a short upper body and wider hips. I carry weight mostly on my hips, bum and thighs. These are also the parts of my body I’m most self-conscious about. So what I aim for is to create a more rectangular silhouette by adding bulk around my shoulders, creating straight lines to my hips, de-emphasising my hips and lengthening my upper body. I also would like to look taller. While I’m not particularly short (5′8″), I do live in the Netherlands where a lot of people are Very Tall.

So, what do we need to pay attention to?

Fit

A good fit is hugely important. It’s easy to go for baggy hoodies and jumpers because they’re comfy and hide you, but baggy clothes also tend to make people look smaller and younger. We trans guys often look young enough already! If you’re a larger person, baggy clothes might make you look like you’re carrying more weight.

Clothes that fit well don’t need to be tight or uncomfortable either, they just need to be proportionate to you. If they fit well and are proportionate to your body you’ll avoid looking like you borrowed dad’s clothes. A feeling I’ve had far too often!

As my goal is a more masculine look, I tend to go for clothes from the men’s section. This isn’t always necessary (the blue hoody below is from the women’s section), but women’s clothing tends to be tailored to make people look cute and small. It tends to emphasise curves and a narrower waist. Of course this does depend on the style that’s trendy at the moment.

Here are some questions I ask when I’m trying on clothes:

Shirts, jumpers, jackets etc.

Do the shoulders fit? This is often the most important as the shoulder area is hard to adjust.

Is it loose enough around the chest / waist that it doesn’t emphasise curves? Masking the hourglass dip of a slim waist will do a lot to de-emphasise wider hips.

But is it still slim enough that it’s not baggy?

If going for oversized, does it look deliberately oversized and not just baggy?

Is the length right? If it ends at the widest part of the hips it will emphasise that width.

Are the sleeves fitted; not too tight or too loose? Baggy sleeves make arms look smaller, too tight and they’ll be either be constricting or emphasise skinniness as well.

For example, this blue hoody fits me well. The shoulders fit, it’s not too long with the hemline sitting on my hips. It’s not tight around the hips either. The band at the bottom of the hoody doesn’t cinch in like other hoodies do. It doesn’t emphasise the width of my hips, or bunch up around the stomach. I like to push the sleeves up because it makes it look like there’s more bulk up towards my shoulders.

This black tunnel neck sweater is a little too small. It fits just fine around the shoulders but is too tight around my hips, which means it has a tendency to creep up and bunch up around my middle. The body of this sweater isn’t roomy enough to hang free, so it doesn’t create as straight a line down as the blue hoody above.

This knit hoody is too big and too long. It makes me look shorter and does little to de-emphasise my hips. The bottom hem cinches in a little and with the pockets there it adds bulk around the hips. Exactly what I try to avoid.

This Star Wars sweater is deliberately blocky. The design is relatively wide with shoulder seams off the shoulder, but it’s not too long. The bottom hem falls above the widest part of my hips and overall this sweater gives the impression of bulk to my upper body, especially with the sleeves rolled up.

Trousers, jeans etc.

Are they streamlined around the hips & bum, but not too tight? I want to minimise bulk around the hips, but also not have them be so tight that everything’s on show.

Do the trouser legs give the silhouette I want? Personally I like trousers to be snug around the thighs and calves, and tapered below the knee. They follow the lines of my legs but don’t cling to every curve.

Does the position of the waistband make my upper body look right in proportion with my legs? Low rise trousers with a shirt tucked in makes my upper body look longer.

If going for oversized, does it look deliberately oversized and not just baggy?

The trousers on the left fit around the waist and hips, but the legs are too baggy. On the right a pair of the same trousers in a different colour where I took in the legs a bit. They look more slim and tidy.

These are my favourite jeans. They’re low rise, slim fit with only a little stretch and tapered towards the ankle. Snug around my hips, upper legs and calves but don’t cling anywhere else. They’re comfortable and minimise curves without drowning my legs.

These skinny biker jeans hide little in terms of silhouette, but they get away with it as they’re a dark black, not too stretchy, have added detailing above the knee, and don’t cling to my skinny ankles.

Skinny jeans by themselves aren’t ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’, but they do show off curves, which I am self-conscious about sometimes.

Structure

By structure I mean how well a piece of clothing holds its shape. This has a lot to do with the fabric. A denim jacket for example is far more structured than a hoody, because denim is a stiff fabric that holds its shape well.

A hoody made from a thicker fabric that holds its shape a bit is more structured than a hoody made from a thinner fabric that just hangs off you. Even a little bit can make a difference.

More structured clothes make for cleaner lines and make it easier to mask bumps and curves.

This green hoody on the left, for example, is too large and made of a thin stretchy fabric. The blue hoody on the right is a little large but is made of a thicker fabric which holds its shape better. It does a better job at bulking up my shoulders a little and masking my waist.

Woven fabrics are more structured than knits as they tend to have little to no stretch. Denim jackets are more structured than hoodies because of this. And it’s why button up shirts tend to be better at hiding the curve of a waist or binder than t-shirts.

Colour

I’m not going to talk about what colours might be more ‘masculine’ than others because that’s subjective and not useful. Wear what colours you like and suit you! I do have some tips on how to use them to your advantage.

Darker colours hide the shadows of dips and curves better and make you look more slim:

If you’d like to look taller, like I do, then try not to wear contrasting colours on the upper and lower parts of your body. That divides your body into clear sections horizontally, rather than drawing the eye up all the way. The same goes for shoes and belts.

For this example I’m wearing the same trousers and two t-shirts of the same size.

Patterns & prints

Patterns can draw they eye to certain parts of the body. You can use this to your advantage to emphasise and de-emphasise what you want. Blocks of colour at the shoulders, for example, can make your shoulders look wider and draw attention away from the chest area.

This t-shirt does that with the floral print at the shoulders.

Regular patterns such as stripes and checks are best avoided when you don’t want curves to show. Regular patterns make any bump stand out. Irregular patterns on the other hand (floral prints!) mask any irregularity they might be hiding. 

The print on this hoody masks whatever is going on in the chest area a bit.

This shirt’s pattern is also irregular enough to work.  It’s important to keep the pattern in proportion with your body.  Too large a pattern may make you look smaller than you are.

Layering

As you probably know, layering is a trans guy’s best friend. Layer a shirt or an open hoody over a t-shirt and you’re creating straight lines down the front of your body. It masks your chest and any curves you may want to hide. Do this with more structured jackets, such as denim, and those lines will be cleaner.

You’re also adding bulk to your upper body as well. Push up the sleeves to give more emphasis to your shoulders. Make sure the bottom layer isn’t oversized or too bulky, however. That can make it look messy or bunch up around the hips or waist, adding size where you may not want it to.

Tailoring

Everyone you see on TV or in magazines whose clothing always looks great will almost certainly have had their clothes tailored. Since that’s an added expense not everyone can afford, I’ll talk about making do with off the rack clothing as much as possible.

I will however let you know what is possible to have tailored if it’s an option. In the future I’ll write about how to make some adjustments yourself as well.

How to find what works for you

I hope these tips help you find clothes that work for you. The best advice I can give is to try clothes from different shops and brands. Hopefully you’ll come across one where the sizing and fit is somewhat consistently right for you.

Also look for fashion bloggers or vloggers who are a similar size and body shape to you. That way you can see what you like on them before spending any money and they’ll likely be showing clothes that are available in the shops right then.

Feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions or requests!

See my original article with links to some of the clothes I’m wearing, their sizes and my measurements for comparison, here: Clothing tips for trans men

I have some articles that go into more detail published there already as well.

[paradife-loft]

alright, here we go.... did anybody want a write-up on my (initial/current/main) Fallen Hero protagonist? because I sure have got one, and an obsessive need to talk about this game!! :’D

they’re actually more intentionally a self-insert than most characters I play, since I didn’t really have any pre-game time in which I was considering what sort of person to play and what their name/background would be. eyyyyyy impulsivity!

anyway, on with it. some facts, as they were, about one Ishvah Bakker, formerly known as Sidestep...

Basics

Probably mixed race of some sort, or otherwise on the liminal edge of (not?) white - other people’s perceptions are crucial, and more defining than they’d like, for as long as they can remember. (Good thing they’re a telepath!)

Nonbinary and genderless and generally salty about it. (Dysphoria makes every other body-related trauma response even more fun!)

Long-ish dark brown hair, which they usually wear down or in a simple ponytail. Better than needing to think about styling it, anyways...

Aromantic bisexual. Full of angst. (Aren’t we all.)

Supervillain codename: Iconoclast

Says fuck! :D

Psych profile

Generally quiet and watchful and cautious - a thinker, a planner, a tactician, at least as far as their comfort zone goes. Curious (sometimes morbidly curious) as all hell, in a “killed the cat” sort of way. Alas, not much satisfaction has been had. More just worry about what it says about them that their curiosity can “override” alleged basic human reactions like “empathy” or “getting freaked out by gore”.

Despite the control-freak tendencies, the more a situation slips away from, or otherwise can’t be planned and controlled, the more they do Impulsive Shit. Reckless, adrenaline-junkie, can’t-sit-still-because-then-the-anxiety-will-know-where-you-live, self-endangering impulsive shit. Anything to get the situation back under their immediate influence, if not control.

Speaking of which, attitudes toward bodies? They’ve got a callous disregard for physical sensations like pain, & the (temporary) structural integrity of bodies, especially once that aren't theirs.

They’re very dissociated from bodies in general really, their own included; thinking of them as tools, and willing to let them get fucked up in the service of "more important" goals.

(Shoutout to when they had to perform surgery on themself! :D Totally not fucked up or anything. Especially that they hated seeing themself naked, especially through “another’s” eyes, more than they hated having to actually do the surgery. Nothing to see here folks, just a normal person.)

When needing to improvise interpersonally, they try to head for whatever reveals the least about who they actually are & what they're capable of - using others' preconceptions and biases to fill in blanks with whatever they're expecting. They’ll use appearing weak, tired, unassuming as a shield, but it... grates. Still, feels less dangerous and attention-grabbing than being confident.

Relatedly, they do hate losing their telepathy - the lack of sensory overload is nice, but that doesn't outweigh how... naked they feel, exposed and cut off and unsure if they can trust what they see. (Only what they see.) It’s easier in their puppet’s body, Alex, since everyone else just sees an obvious young white man and there’s no need to manage those expectations, but even so, a loss of information never feels good. (Objectively useful to learn how to manage without, but not their emotional preference.)

Yeah, even if their puppet body goes around in a binary gender, they still prefer to have a name that’s genderless to their own ears at least. Alex is common and unassuming. (And leaning into the private supervillain grandiosity in-joke with themself as far as other notable Alex(ander)s is.... entertaining. Hush, it doesn’t mean they need a life.)

They tend toward being perpetually un(der) satisfied by accomplishments as soon as they’ve just come out of the oven, as it were - a restless mind always moving onto the next step, the next thing that needs to happen. They didn’t used to be like this, did they? But it’s better like this now, considering all that’s happened. 

(Perhaps because of that, perhaps in contrast, their personal apartment is done up in a surprisingly cozy way. Soft carpet and dark encompassing furniture, fabric on the walls, understated lamps and indoor string lights, and only a small window in each room. It’s one of the few things they can find calming, especially when it comes with some coffee.)

(Delicious self-medication with minor stimulants~)

And hey, the coziness is probably also nice because of how disgustingly touch-starved they are. Starved and averse all at once, really, which is just the best. (And uh, also sexually frustrated.... not that they let themselves think about that, hahahaha....... Moving on.)

The lack of sleep involved in maintaining two lives? Is absolutely getting to them, even if they don’t realise it. Sure, they think their body is getting all the rest it needs while they're in Alex's, but their brain is still active in maintaining the telepathic link such that the sleep isn't quite as restful and rejuvenating as it otherwise could be. (Well, assuming they didn’t constantly have nightmares.) Hence some of the increasing emotional instability & inability to hide their feelings when confronted with actual stressful situations.

Background

LA was the first place they ever tried to make a home, really. Or multiple different home iterations. They feel tied to the city, not least because of how the change in the place and its name feels like a macrocosm of what they’ve done switching sides themself.

Because this is a self-insert (and I do what I want, Thor), and to provide some justification for their first name, I’m thinking about their first (failed, aborted) attempt at being A Person (after getting out of whatever X-23 situation is getting teased for their origin story?) and joining any sort of community, being with a local shul. Perhaps after being helped out by people involved in a community service program? There’s a fair bit that resonate(d) with them, or at least felt good - the idea of being wanted and cared for and responsible for each other, of improving the world and doing positive deeds, of having a fucking family... They probably poked some feet into the idea of converting...

But that definitely crashed and burned. Half of it was coming to realise just how much self they’d have to put into the community to become a part of it - and they either had no self to speak of, or couldn’t risk, couldn’t feel comfortable, revealing what bits they did have. Peace was hard to come by. Comfort with uncertainty, with simultaneous opposite-seeming truths, never coalesced, and in fact felt actively threatening - as did the idea of being able to achieve any sort of relational parity with a higher power of some sort. It’s in the name, after all - a higher power is something you’ll never be able to live freely under with respect. So as that all came to a head, all the paranoia and feelings of inadequacy, they just... left. Don’t really think about it much now, don’t like to think about it, because it felt perhaps even more naive than trying to play masked hero, but... the name stuck.

As apparently did the desire to Be Good And Make Things Better, despite themself, because there they were back again with this stupid hero scheme, meeting Julia Ortega and making friends, being naive and trusting and thinking the whole damned system didn’t need to be burned down for anything to change. That other people could help protect you, that being part of a system could help protect you even if you weren’t one of the bastards at the top pulling the strings, helping nobody but themselves and their own power and pocketbooks.

Well, that sure isn’t going to happen again. This time, they’ve learned their fucking lesson.

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Waltzing with the Wallflower

I give you this humble offering of a tale bought to you by a writers brain that would not let her go to sleep until a rather ungodly hour. 

A period(ish) era AU. A warlord in a mask and a Princess very much out of her element.

Masterlist

---

Waltzing with the Wallflower

The venue was a pulsating decadent display dripping in fine damask and brocade silks. The rich colours added to the overindulgent opulence of the night. This was the biggest night of the year and the most sought after one to receive an invitation for. This was a time when it didn’t matter who you were, if you didn’t know someone who could get you in, you weren’t getting past the entrance.

The high vaulted ceiling shimmered with the light reflecting from the fine crystal chandeliers and shadows danced as elegantly as the ones taking a turn on the dance floor courtesy of the many candles lit around the room for added ambience. The orchestral music harmonised with the murmurs of conversation giving way to an overtly sensual undertone being created.

Everything felt amplified tonight as people mingled hidden comfortably behind their ornate masks. Here was the one night the silent battle of the class system crumbled. Conversation flowed freely between the people gathered alongside the wine and champagne. Platers of exquisite finger foods travelled on gleaming silverware as it was transported around the room by the hired help.

As beautiful as it was and as mouth-watering as the food looked one hapless princess had found she had lost her appetite entirely. This was a far cry from her usual environment working as a maid in a governor’s house. To say it had been a shock to be handed the invitation would have been an understatement.

It had felt like a fantasy to see such intricate embossed golden filigree on the expensive cardstock displaying the venue’s address in bold calligraphy that almost send a pre-emptive warning of things to come. She was aware that her employer had a predisposition to play games and this was clearly another way for him to seek enjoyment witnessing someone struggling to tread water so clearly out of their depth. She had pushed those thoughts to the side and was determined to make the best of the night. It was after all a once in a lifetime party.

Of course, that was what she had planned. But naturally, there is a reason why there is such a saying about the plans of mice and men. Nervousness had taken its root in her stomach and even behind her ornate mask, she could feel herself crumbling under the pressure of the extreme shift in social rank. It was a concern severely lacking in foundation as for this one night she along with the other guests were all stripped of their positions and prestige. Tucked safely behind their masks for one night only they were all equal. Still, the feeling of an outsider looking in was a hard one to shift and she found herself edging more and more towards the candlelit recesses of the venue.

She was thankful to have been lucky enough to borrow a gown for the evening. The plain burnished silver bustier clung to her giving a comforting sensation of being hugged. The silver fabric travelled elegantly over her hips gathering like tumbling waterfall to one side revealing a contrasting black fabric that when it moved revealed a hidden pattern that was picked out by the changing light and movement as she walked. To be honest, everything she had on was currently on loan from the governor’s daughter. Once she had found out that her maid had received an invite to the masquerade, she began excitedly dressing her up like a giant doll.

A small sigh escaped her lips as she watched the prestige of the evening swaying to the harmonics of the string orchestra in a Venetian waltz on the dance floor. The gentlemen leading the ladies in the swirling dips and twirls as they enjoyed their night's dalliances.

“Pardon me but I believe you dropped something, my dear.” An elegant monotone voice disrupted her daydream and she turned to find a gentleman standing next to her. His crisp white formal wear accented with teal embellishments was breathtakingly striking but it was his mask that drew her attention most of all. Unlike the majority of the other guests, his seemed to be a homage to an animal spirit. Crackle glazed tones of cream and burnt gold. Highlighted in subtle shades of brown blended out in such a way that almost made you wish to touch it and see if it was real fur. Its pointed ears and elongated snout covered just enough of his face to keep all but his chiselled jaw and bowstring lips covered. A gloved hand was being extended to her and she noticed that he had hold of one of her silver hairpins.

“Oh! Yes, thank you.” She reached out only to have her own hand miss its mark. The lips of the masked man had been pulled into an alluring smile. The eyes behind the mask sparkled as they remained locked on her.

“Allow me to fix it for you. I would hate for you to lose such a fine piece again and I fear it might be too difficult for you to do so without some help.” His voice was soft and slow. It felt like a spell was being cast as her body apparently moved of its own accord and turned to allow him access to her long black hair. The briefest of touches brushed over her neck as his long fingers combed through her locks, arranging it so as to attach to the pin more securely.

“You have beautiful hair, my dear.” His voice was so close that it felt almost as if it was being dripped like honey directly into her ear. A pleasant if unexpected sensation tingled down her spine in response to him.

“Thank you, Sir. You are too kind.” Blushing slightly, she turned to him again and gave a polite bow with her head.

“Are you not dancing tonight?”

“I fear I would be too clumsy in a place such as this to do any song justice.”

“Nonsense. If anything is to be at fault this evening it would be the man who failed to showcase your beauty.” His tone was so adamant and sincere it caused her breath to catch in her throat as she looked at him. “If you are concerned with crowds perhaps a turn in the garden would help calm your nerves. It seems such a shame to cloister yourself away in the shadows when you were obviously meant to move in the light.” Once more he elegantly extended his gloved hand to her. Accepting his hand in a veritable trance-like state the pair moved to the large baroquian windows leading to the gardens.

The chilled night air caressed her skin as she was led down the stone staircase of the balcony into the beautifully manicured gardens. The scents of the nocturnal flora carried on the wind like the music from the ball, wrapping around her mind like an irresistible piece of trickery that tempted her to forget herself completely.

Stopping in an area that seemed to be planted mostly with roses and a large fountain, the gentleman released her hand. The loss of connection brought her out of her befuddlement. The light of the moon above eerily lit the area touching the flower petals around her making them look more delicate and otherworldly. Caught up in her observations she had failed to notice the gentleman until the movement of him was caught reflected in the water beside her.

“Are you feeling better my dear?” He was maintaining a respectable distance from her but somehow observing him on the surface of the mirrorlike water made her feel like he was embracing her.

“You bought me here because you were concerned for me?”

“Naturally.” His eyes behind his mask almost appeared to glow by moonlight. She had thought it was a trick of the light before but those eyes really were like finely crafted yellow glass.

“Pardon?”

“Cultivated beauty pales in comparison to natural creation. Take these roses for example.” He removed his gloves one finger at a time slowly enough that the movement of it made her swallow thickly aware of the subliminal sexual desire it stirred inside her. His bare pale hand touched the very edge of the blooming flower tilting it towards his masked face. “There is no denying their elegance and beauty but any fool can cultivate that kind of thing with enough time and money.”

“They are beautiful.” She unconsciously moved to his side gazing at the same flower sighing.

“Are you aware of the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dear?” He paused for a few moments. Her large upturned eyes moved from the rose to him the stars from the sky above them swimming in the two pools of ink. “To me, these flowers are nothing more than poor man’s delusion. The real beauty can be found beyond the confines of such a thing.” He guided her towards the garden wall brushing aside the trailing ivy and clematis to reveal a hidden window. The small hollow arch had a sprawling view of a meadow that appeared to be right out of a fairy tale. “Wildflowers are always so much more alluring to me. After all, they are the ones that fought to survive against the odds of the fates themselves. No two are alike and the uniqueness of them tells a tale that binds one’s heart.”

“That is very poetic.”

“It is but one man’s truth.” There was something painful in his tone. As he looked out at the meadow sharing the view with her, she felt as if she was observing for the first time in her life a tortured soul. “Well, my dear. Would you care to dance?”

“You wish to dance with me, Sir?” He dropped the blanket of flowers back hiding the secret window once more.

“Why are you so surprised?” His question floated in the air over the rumbling chuckle that tumbled from his lips after it.

“I fear I am not good enough to be a very good dance partner.” The nerves she had felt at the ball were back with full force except this time her heart was also thumping in her chest as if providing her with a beat to march to her own destruction.

“I told you before my dear it is the responsibility of the man to showcase his partner’s talent. You need merely to entrust your body to me and let me take the lead and let me show the world how brightly you can shine.” The imperceptible shift as his body aligned itself to hers was so smooth, she did not realise they were dancing until she felt the slight warmth of his hand in hers.

She was lost in the soft spell he appeared to have cast over her. Even the faint sound of the fountain in the garden had melted away as she handed over control of her body to him. His body kept perfect time with hers as he drew out an elegance form her that she had no idea even existed. He was holding her like she was a delicate piece of art so fragile that she might break at any moment but he was also firm and commanding enough to guide her body effortlessly around the flowerbeds in a silent waltz in the moonlight.

---

[pinkevilbobdoesthings]

I wrote this back in April, but I didn't finish it and I forgot about it until today. So yeah, I'm totally obsessed with superheroes and super powers. Also I probably intended to have more for this AU, but eh, this is all I got.

So here you guys go. “If I Were A Superhero”.

______________________________

Superheroes, Caleb Widogast had determined long ago, were a nuisance. Everyone assumes that if you have superpowers you must be a superhero or have plans for going down a darker path, which just encouraged people like Caleb and Nott to hide their powers. Heroes were loud, flashy, and generally a danger to themselves and others.

For example, the hero that decided to fight a giant frog monster right outside of the alley Nott and Caleb were were trying to avoid the rain in. Caleb knew it really wasn’t the hero’s fault, but it didn’t stop him from being annoyed with her. She wore green cloak that obscured her features and a pastel dress. It looked like she was a new hero and just starting out, but Caleb avoided that sort of thing on purpose.

Nott watched the hero with awe though. She was newer to having powers than Caleb was, so it was still new and exciting for her even with the side effects. Caleb was lucky all he had were powers, but for some powers came … extra features. Inhuman qualities: odd colored skin, tails, fangs. He even met someone covered in feathers once. They were called Altered and Nott was one of them. With her green skin, batlike ears and pointed jagged teeth it was hard for Nott to blend in with a crowd, so it was up to Caleb to be their face and keep them safe. And this hero was not making it any easier for him.

Though to be fair, this hero was doing her best to keep the monster away from civilians and probably had no idea that Caleb and Nott were there. All Caleb and Nott could do was wait out the fight. "She's winning, right Caleb?" Nott asked.

Caleb shrugged. He didn't care much one way or another. "Maybe." The hero was starting to show exhaustion, but the monster had been bloodied up, so she could dish it out as well as take it.

The monster then lunged at the hero and knocked her to the side sending her tumbling into a garbage can with a loud THUMP! Her hood was knocked askew showing the hero's blue face. Blood dripped off of her horns and Caleb flinched. An Altered. But it made no sense. Altereds were typically targets for violence and most of them avoided superheroes. An Altered hero was a rare sight to see, but there she was taking a beating for people who liked to pretend that she didn't exist. She tried to get up, but she stumbled at the monster's feet. The monster raised its fists high into the air ready to bring them down on the hero.

Without thinking, Caleb dug into his power and summoned a giant cat's paw right above the hero catching the monster's blow. “We’re helping?” Nott asked with excitement.

“I suppose we are now, but stay back,” Caleb said.

With a flick of her wrist, Nott summoned some sort of illusion next to the monster’s head distracting it.

The hero managed to roll away from the great frog beast and summoned a big lollipop next to the monster and clobbered it over the head.

Nott tugged on Caleb’s coat. “She’s like you.”

“Not really,” Caleb said. For one thing, she was dumb enough to want to be a superhero, and he had abandoned those wishes long ago. “Come on, they’re distracted. Let’s get out of here.”

********************************

Jester knew that she wasn’t seeing things; the first day she went out as a hero someone saved her with a huge cat’s paw. When she told Beau about it, Beau said that it was probably just her imagination. But Jester knew that it had to be real that she would’ve been killed without it. So the question was where was the rest of the cat and who was responsible for it.

The problem was that there were no witnesses for that part of the fight, and even online there was no one that had heard of a hero or villain or anyone that could summon cat’s paws. And it could just someone whose power was summoning things, but for most people there was a pattern, like how Jester could only summon lollipops(which she would never complain about). So it could be a new superhero or someone who just came into their superpowers or maybe they were just super shy. It was frustrating. Jester was supposed to be the great hero Lollipop Lass and she couldn’t even thank whoever it was that helped her.

She was in a bad mood on her way to meet up with her friend, Fjord. Jester couldn’t shake the feeling that she should’ve done more to find her rescuer. Or maybe it was rescuers. The frog monster seemed oddly distracted, so maybe there was something more going on there. Shaking her head, Jester tried to drive those thoughts from her head, but it was no use. Her thoughts kept going back to that fight. Beau and Fjord both chewed her out for not waiting for help and even Jester had to admit that it was a bad idea, but the monster was going after a kid and there was no way Jester was going to turn a blind eye to that.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jester noticed something. Down in the alley next to her was a familiar cat paw floating in the air. It was holding up a small woman up to a fire escape. The woman dropped down the ladder and the paw lowered her back down to the ground.

Jester ran up to the woman. “It’s you!” Jester blurted out to excited to hold herself back. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” The woman’s eyes grew wide and they were very cat like. The yellow of her eyes contrasted well with the green of her skin. She wore an oversized hoodie, but there was something under the hood that kept it from lying flat, so she might’ve had horns like Jester did.

“What me? No, I’m not worth looking for at all,” the woman said backing away.

“But, your power. Your cat paw. It saved me last week,” Jester said. “I wanted to thank you.”

The woman looked up at Jester with surprise. Her hood fell back revealing two large pointed ears. “Cat paw? That wasn’t me.”

“But I just saw you use it just a moment ago.”

“Nein. That was me,” a dirty man said stepping out from beside the wall. Jester hadn’t noticed him until he had spoken up. He was wearing old shabby clothes and smelled a little bit like a port-a-potty.

Jester was a little bit disappointed that her hero smelled so bad, but he had nice blue eyes so at least that was a bonus. “Then you were the one who saved me! Thank you!” She tried to hug him, but he ducked away from her.

“You were sloppy and nearly got killed. I just did what anyone would do.” He headed towards the ladder the small woman had already started climbing.

“Wait!” Jester shouted even though he was still only three feet away from her. “Why aren’t you a superhero? Or are you one under deep cover? Is that why you’re so smelly?”

He scowled at her. “Just because someone has powers doesn’t mean they want to be a hero.”

“But you were my hero,” Jester said weakly and his mask of a scowl cracked. He gave her a soft frown.

“Then you have a terrible hero.” He climbed up the ladder.

“Wait! Please. Can I know your name?”

He gave her a long hard look. “You can call me Caleb Widogast.”

His friend poked out her head from higher up. “And I’m Nott the Brave!”

“It’s nice to meet you Nott and Caleb! I’m Jester!” Jester called up. “And I think that you’re a better hero than you think you are.”

Caleb gave her the saddest looking smile and kept going up the ladder.

Jester hopped up and down with excitement. She met another person with powers! And not only that but the one that saved her. Fjord was going to flip when she tells him about this.

******************

A sigh left Caleb. He had been sighing even more than usual. Which was saying something because his natural state of being was a subtle simmer of melancholy. But Nott knew her friend well enough to catch even the smallest changes to his demeanor. “Are you thinking about that girl again?”

Caleb startled out of his thoughts. “What?! What girl? I wasn’t thinking about her.”

“The girl from the other day. The superhero.”

Caleb frowned. “Her. Well, she might cross my mind, but that’s because she’s reckless and endangering lives. She could be out there getting herself hurt right now.”

“Are you worried that you’re going to have to save her again?” Nott asked.

Caleb’s frown deepened. “I’m worried that I won’t be around if she needs saving again. Really, a young hero like her shouldn’t be on her own.”

“Then why don’t we join her then? We could be superheroes.” The idea always tempted Nott and even before she had powers, she would sometimes daydream about what it would be like.

“Nein. It’s dangerous and stupid,” Caleb said. “And I don’t know what I’d do if anything were to happen to you, Nott.” He grabbed onto her hand and held it gently.

Nott squeezed his hand back. “You have nothing to worry about. I know how to hide.”

Caleb smiled at her. “You are very good at that.”

“You could be Cat’s Eye and I would be Nott the Brave.”

Caleb frowned in confusion. “But that’s your name.”

“Oh, like there’s any point in me having a secret identity? I don’t think there’s enough green woman here that slapping a domino mask on me and calling me something else is going to do us much good,” Nott said.

“You do have a point there,” Caleb said. “I’m not going to wear a mask. They’re uncomfortable and always make my face itch.”

Nott looked up at Caleb. “So we’re going to do it?”

“We’ll have to be careful and if it’s too dangerous, we’re getting out of this game,” Caleb said.

Nott jumped. “Just you wait! You and me and Jester going to be amazing heroes.”

Caleb chuckled, which coming from him was a sad sound. “Ja, we are.”

[illegiblewords]

Stillborn

Summary: It might as well be goodbye. Emet-Selch/WoL

It is nearly time, when she’s spoken to the Crystal Exarch. Preparations for the golem are all but complete. The sky blazes white, flickering sunless and hot and unrelenting.

The grass is brittle underfoot, but there is something familiar and reassuring in the taste of salt on a Kholusian breeze. Not so different from when she bade Aldenard goodbye from a port in Limsa Lominsa. From the months spent on a creaking boat, where waves would rarely spray high enough to touch. As there, so here seabirds scream overhead.

They all know better than to stray near Mount Gulg.

“I’ll return before long enough,” says the Warrior of Light, and there is warmth as she says it. “Just need to clear my head a while.”

“Do you want company?” asks Alisaie, young and sweet and wholly unaware.

She shakes her head. “No no, that’s alright… but thank you. There’s a loose end that wants for my attention. I doubt there will be another opportunity.”

And so she goes.

Past the ladder, past Tomra, over the jagged landscape of Scree to where one might briefly forget this horizon is not infinite. Here she stands, searching. Waiting.

She shuts her eyes.

“Are you there?” she asks quietly.

Only the wind and the distant sea, the birds and a rattle of stones-in-motion.

“Emet-Sel-” she begins more loudly, then stops, then smiles. Brings her fingers to her lips and sets loose a high, piercing whistle.

One moment goes by.

Two.

“That isn’t always going to work, you know,” says the Ascian, stepping from a plume of darkness. Stark contrast against the world in his Garlean finery. Of course he casts no shadow. From how his lips quirk she can see he, too, remembers his instructions in Rak’tika. “I’ll have you know I was nearly a malm off this time. It’s practically finished, now.”

“I know,” she says, and despite everything the humor which sparks her eyes is sincere. “My apologies for tearing you away… would you sit with me?”

Emet-Selch frowns, and that alone is enough to make his question obvious.

“I’ve spoken to so many people already,” explains Norvrandt’s Warrior of Darkness, “and you’ve made it perfectly clear you will not be left out. Thought I might beat you to it, this time.”

A smile in-turn, reflexive. Yellow eyes dart down and then return to her.

“Oh, very well. It wouldn’t do to turn my nose at such consideration, now would it?”

One step. Another.

He finds her side, and when he does it is Emet-Selch who sits first.

She follows.

For a moment, they only watch the pull and push of dwindling tides. Were circumstances otherwise, they might have been mistaken for an ordinary pair enjoying one another’s company.

“What do you know of me?” she asks after a while. “Not the Warrior of Light… me.”

“You do have the most peculiar habit of separating yourself from your deeds,” says Emet-Selch, and for all the signs of weariness he wears he does not sound unhappy then. She wonders if he made such expressions as the emperor of Garlemald, too.

“…what I know is less than I anticipated, but more in ways you remain yet unaware of.” He stops. Considers carefully. “You may be closer than I gave you credit. It reminds me… no. I only wonder if things would be different, if the rest met your standard. There is no denying you are endowed with such admirable qualities as kindness, bravery, altruism. But outside of an adventuring capacity, I must confess to having grossly underestimated your cheek.”

She laughs at that, loud and unapologetic. “I know not what I expected to hear, but… gods.” When she manages to reply, it is accompanied by the slight flush that often accompanies such admissions. “After Elidibus and Lahabrea, I must confess to having grossly underestimated you as well.”

This appears to please the Ascian, who goes so far as to smirk in turn. “Good. It’s why I kept them for so long.”

For a while, they remain content with that.

Then the Warrior says, hesitant, “What you told me, before… the ones you lost. I want you to know I believe you.” He turns, and she finds his expression has shifted. She is being studied now, searched. “…has there truly been no one since?”

His brows knit, and he glances away. “The sundering may not have broken me, or my… associates,” he says. “But while we seek a common goal, what other ties we had have grown strained across millenia. There is a reason I keep my own counsel.”

“You ran nations,” she says quietly. “You married, sired heirs. I expect it was more than once.”

Emet-Selch closes his eyes, and it strikes her that this is the most exhausted she has seen him.

“Can you imagine,” he asks, and there is no trace of bitterness in his tone this time, “what it means to seek someone you can trust, to suppose not once, not twice… hundreds of times over, that in your need you can be supported by creatures too fragile even to maintain themselves?”

The lines that edge his lips did not develop through joy.

“Man crumbles under his own sins, his own selfish desires” says the Angel of Truth. “For the most trivial of reasons he will embrace his baser instincts. Each and every one of you hides horror in your breast, and no matter how you strive against it this cannot be erased. Not so long as you remain thus divided.”

She places her hand over his.

“Emet-Selch.”

The Warrior speaks softly, and although this is not his name it’s the best she can manage.

For a moment, between the warmth of her hand, his blindness to the world, the familiarity of her voice… perhaps he forgets.

She rests her cheek against his, and he leans into the contact.

When her fingers contract, gently, he only exhales.

They linger that way for some time, pretending a moment’s comfort will matter against what must inevitably follow.

When she kisses him, this too finds his cheek.

Careful. Chaste. Like a friend.

She does not release her grip.

The Warrior has only begun to look again when his free hand finds her jaw, drags her back. Locks her mouth to his.

It isn’t a matter of experience but of desperation. Emet-Selch kisses her hard, their teeth bumping inelegantly, fingers winding through her hair. He struggles to channel himself through a body that can’t contain him, his breath coming fast even as she brings her remaining arm around his back. Holds him close. When she meets the Ascian with her tongue a tight, pained sound crawls from his chest into his throat, into her mouth in-turn. It almost scares her enough to stop.

Instead, the Warrior searches for him in the grooves of his spine beneath his coat. In how he continues to reach whenever they part, as if he is chasing something on the brink of escape. It reassures her to find him no colder than she is, betrayed by the same telltale pulse anyone might endure. The same give under touch.

Well, rest assured that if your heart can be broken, then so can mine!

Emet-Selch is only a man. Whatever mask he wears in his immortality, even he is not invulnerable.

It ends as suddenly as it began.

He stops trying.

She tastes salt.

When she pulls away he lets her.

His eyes are open now. Unseeing.

What she finds is not anger or even indifference.

Emet-Selch looks empty. His expression is slack, his lips slightly parted. Silent as a corpse, he seems wholly unaware of his own tears. It is in this disconnect that the Warrior remembers what he is.

Even now, she does not release his hand.

“Are you alright?”

Fingertips at his mouth. Self-reproach. He blinks.

Slowly, he focuses on her again.

She feels his departure even before the familiar black tendrils begin to snake their way across his body, leaving her with little more than smoke.

“Don’t disappoint me,” says Emet-Selch, his voice low. Harsher than his expression suggests possible.

 Please.

And so the Warrior of Light is left alone at the edge of a cliff, in a world with no future past its borders.

Eventually she must abandon this place as well.

[sepublic]

Luz’s Air VS Belos’ Earth

           So remember what I said about Luz having Air motifs? Well, this applies to Eda as well, but in particular…

           …I think Belos can also be associated with Earth as a contrast! He’s a character who grows living constructs from the earth, manifesting from the ground! His castle is deep into the chest of the Titan, inside an abyss… He’s a rigid character with ideas of conformity, of ‘shaping’ others into specific forms, be it his own body on a literal sense, or others! This fits into the idea of how earth and mud can be shaped when malleable, only to eventually harden- Just as Belos’ form shifts, or how he fits young minds into the conforming mold within his Coven System! And then there’s him literally petrifying others and turning them into stone…

           In contrast, you have Luz and Eda, who as I said before are free-spirited thinkers who bring about the winds of change! They’re not bound by anything like Belos, who is bound to the Titan’s underground heart and his position as a ruler… They welcome all ideas and are openly themselves, while the true Belos is hidden beneath the ‘surface’ of his mask, cloak, and armor! They are their own people and encourage others to be free individuals who can operate on their own, while Belos encourages people to be dependent upon one another in the Coven System, bound like a flightless bird!

           Luz and Eda ascended up the Titan’s knee, while Belos descended down to its heart! The Owl House isn’t rooted to a singular location like Belos’ castle, it can uproot itself and move around! But at the same time… These two also cross-over and are each other’s elements in their own way, too! Luz and Eda are more ‘grounded’ individuals, who have thrown aside flighty ideas and fantasies in favor of just getting to know people as they are and being with them!

           Whereas Belos has angelic motifs of ascension, of being above others and communicating to a higher being… His Coven System stresses the idea of a hierarchy, of uplifting the worthy above the rest! While Luz and Eda see everyone as being on equal, common ground. But the Air and Earth motifs return to their respective owners… Belos wants to put others beneath him, while Luz is only interested in uplifting those around her and encouraging them to be the best, regardless of her own standing! Belos believes himself as worthy and above others, the one with all of the attention and art, but Luz? Luz is humble and fine with playing support!

           Belos contradicts himself, being rigid and more earth-like, yet presenting ideas of heavenly ascension… He projects ideas over the reality of them, hence his conforming masks placed over himself and his Emperor’s Coven! Whereas Luz and Eda acknowledge things as warts-and-all, and are more flexible and open-minded because of it! Belos doesn’t want to acknowledge the truth of things, he keeps them buried beneath his image of what he wants, while Eda and Luz leave it bare, flying high above everyone else for all to see!

           Belos’ light obscures and blinds, distracts and acts as an illusion to the reality of a situation, to what people are like in favor of a ‘front’ they present themselves as and try to live up to, while Luz’s light reveals and illuminates… It truly enlightens as it reveals people for who they are, allows them to self-reflect, and be themselves while recognizing a bad situation and any abusive lies they’re falling into!

           Luz and Belos’ first interaction has Luz flying around while Belos remains rooted to the ground, growing from it… And when they leave, it’s literally Luz ascending above Belos, whose fleshy constructs are very much rooted to the ground! Belos talks a lot of ascension, but the dude is a walking contradiction, with his heavenly and angelic motifs contrasted by demonic imagery with his creations and potential true form…

          His ‘Light’ actually obscuring as Belos’ appearances are frequently in darkness! Him speaking of Unity when his Coven System sets others at one another’s throats, and of helping others ascend when in reality he creates an artificial hierarchy that restricts most! Belos’ clean, white aesthetics contrasted with the ugly metal pipes of his castle…

          Belos is a hypocrite, and then you have Luz, who just isn’t. She wears her heart on her sleeve, she is up-front about her intentions to the point that some people aren’t sure if she’s telling the truth (like Amity for instance), because the kind of culture and system that Belos has set up has encouraged people to hide!

          Belos is buried, hidden intentions, while Luz is flying, free, and open, for everyone to see! She has no shame in who she is and she’ll let others know, while Belos hides the truth like a dead body… And considering his implied genocides, he probably HAS in a literal sense! Luz presents herself as a regular down-to-earth human but ends up uplifting others and flying, while Belos shows himself as a heavenly figure above all with angelic motifs, but lurks in the darkness in caverns below like an underworldly demon!

          His golden aesthetic also works when you remember that gold is something that is mined and linked to the Earth itself, which in turn connects with Belos mining his way into the Titan’s heart, implying a form of invasiveness and not respecting others’ boundaries- While in the open sky, everyone has space to be themselves! Luz lets people be and exist, while Belos forces his way in and is an invader who imprisons and shackles people. They are very much to the antithesis to one another…

           …Which naturally, it makes me wonder if Luz will get an Air Glyph, and an Earth Glyph later! It’d definitely be interesting to see… There is the idea of Belos actually being VERY ancient, essentially a ‘blast from the past’, like someone is ‘digging up the past’… As ancient history is linked with the ground, with stone, with being uncovered and dug up! Whilst the future and the present is a flighty thing, it’s not set in stone like the past was, it’s variable to change at any moment based on a whim!

          Luz is the hope for a new generation, but at the same time it’s ironic because she brings up and old form of magic and way of living… While Belos is the older generation, but his constrictive reign is a young and new one, relying on a more recent form of magic and just-established rules!

          Luz is someone with fresh, wide-eyed idealism and beliefs in others, while Belos has motifs of decay and deterioration, of rot, which of course is associated with being in the ground and buried… And THAT ties to his castle being within the ribcage of the Titan! Belos invokes images of the undead, and what do they do? They rise from their earthen graves… Which, if Belos IS trying to revive the Titan through its heart, plays into undead motifs of resurrection!

[tatticstudio55]

Daenerys as an anti-Cinderella?

Another asoiaf/fairy tales meta

It’s always fun to wonder which fairy tales goes best with which asoiaf characters (especially the girls, for some reason). For Sansa and Arya, the references are overflowing. With Dany it’s… trickier. Only two – or maybe three – classic tales really fit. Two of those I’ve already talked about in previous posts (Thumbelina and The Fire Bird). There are some general “clues” pointing to Cinderella…

-Viserys, the Anastasia & Drizella duo to Daenerys’s Cinderella

-In ADWD, Cleon the “butcher king” of Astapor make a marriage offer to Daenerys and gift her with a pair of slippers, but

Irri slid the slippers onto Dany’s feet. They were gilded leather, decorated with green freshwater pearls. Does the butcher king believe a pair of pretty slippers will win my hand? “King Cleon is most generous. You may thank him for his lovely gift.” Lovely, but made for a child. Dany had small feet, yet the pointed slippers mashed her toes together.

-Cinderella is named as such for her habit of retreating close to the ashes-filled hearth once her work is done (from “cendres”, the French word for “ashes”). Bettelheim view Cinderella’s behavior as a product of sorrow and grief for her dead mother. For Dany, ash is also linked with sorrow and, first inverted trope, with the mother mourning her dead child:

She could feel the heat inside her, a terrible burning in her womb. Her son was tall and proud, with Drogo’s copper skin and her own silver-gold hair, violet eyes shaped like almonds. And he smiled for her and began to lift his hand toward hers, but when he opened his mouth the fire poured out. She saw his heart burning through his chest, and in an instant he was gone, consumed like a moth by a candle, turned to ash. She wept for her child, the promise of a sweet mouth on her breast, but her tears turned to steam as they touched her skin. – Daenerys, AGOT

There’s also the “Queen of ashes” nickname Dany is sometime dubbed with (more so in the show) and the fact that Cinderella herself is a “queen” of the ashes, somewhat (hence why she’s called “Cinderella”).

-Mirri Maz Duur is an inverted fairy godmother to Dany.

But these are details. Overall, Dany comes off as the anti-Cinderella of asoiaf. This becomes especially apparent in ADWD, where she’s, essentially, a glorified slave to her duties who dreams of escapes with her “prince charming”, i.e. Daario. This all reach a culmination point when she goes to the “ball”, i.e., the grand reopening of the Daznak’s pit. Unlike Cinderella, who’d give anything to attend the ball, Dany would give anything to skip it:

“Even if the pits must open, must Your Grace go yourself?” asked Missandei as she was washing the queen’s hair.

[…]

She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself. – Daenerys, ADWD

Whereas the ball meant dreams and freedom for Cinderella, for Dany, it’s the perpetuation of a nightmare. They both present themselves at the event under a veil: a literal one for Dany,

“And over it, the long red veils.” The veils would keep the wind from blowing sand into her mouth. And the red will hide any blood spatters. – Daenerys, ADWD

A metaphorical one for Cinderella, garbed so elegantly that her step mother and half sisters don’t recognize her. This idea of disguise is interesting. For a start, it contrasts with Dany’s refusal to put a veil between herself and Astapor in ASOS. To borrow Clapton’s words on Dany’s white garments in the show, the purpose of the veil is to “remove herself (Dany)” from the situation. Dany’s choice of clothes is a mean of non-attendance, while Cinderella’s costume allows her to go incognito and enjoy the moment. There is the contrasts of colors: Cinderella wears an immaculate, pure white dress (at least in the Disney version), whereas Dany wears yellow silk and a blood-colored veil. Finally, in some versions, the ball attended by Cinderella is a masked ball. This could be significant, since the reopening of the pits prove to be its own kind of masked “ball” (and even more so in the show, where the sons of the Harpy creep inside the pits wearing literal masks):

At the base of the Great Pyramid, Ser Barristan awaited them beside an ornate open palanquin, surrounded by Brazen Beasts. Ser Grandfather, Dany thought. Despite his age, he looked tall and handsome in the armor that she’d given him. “I would be happier if you had Unsullied guards about you today, Your Grace,” the old knight said, as Hizdahr went to greet his cousin. “Half of these Brazen Beasts are untried freedmen.” And the other half are Meereenese of doubtful loyalty, he left unsaid. Selmy mistrusted all the Meereenese, even shavepates.

“And untried they shall remain unless we try them.”

“A mask can hide many things, Your Grace. Is the man behind the owl mask the same owl who guarded you yesterday and the day before?

How can we know?”

“How should Meereen ever come to trust the Brazen Beasts if I do not? There are good brave men beneath those masks. I put my life into their hands.” - Daenerys, ADWD

Behind the drum marched Brazen Beasts four abreast. Some carried cudgels, others staves; all wore pleated skirts, leathern sandals, and patchwork cloaks sewn from squares of many colors to echo the many-colored bricks of Meereen. Their masks gleamed in the sun: boars and bulls, hawks and herons, lions and tigers and bears, fork-tongued serpents and hideous basilisks. – Daenerys, ADWD

In fact, some descriptions of the event, when taken by themselves, almost make it sound like there’s an actual ball happening inside the pit:

Across the pit the Graces sat in flowing robes of many colors, clustered around the austere figure of Galazza Galare, who alone amongst them wore the green. – Daenerys, ADWD

We could even dig further: dancing, in asoiaf, is often used as a euphemism for dying, or is used in scenes going heavy on the death-related subtext. What do people do in a ball? They dance. What do people do in the pits? They die.

“Barsena is very quick,” Reznak said. “She will dance with the boar, Magnificence, and slice him when he passes near her. He will be awash in blood before he falls, you shall see.” – Daenerys, ADWD

Cinderella’s ball is a dream and Dany’s “ball” is a nightmare, but both are woken from it, for the twelfth stroke of midnight will lift the charm. Fun fact, if I’m not mistaken, there were twelve fights planned that day: Khrazz, the Spotted Cat, a “Lysene youth with long blond hair”, an elephant, a bull, a mock battle, a folly with dwarfs, Barsena, a folly with old women and “three more matches”, according to Hzdahr… yup, that makes twelve. Each fight is a “stroke of midnight” for Dany, pulling her from the nightmare, urging her to wake up. At Barsena, she snaps. The charm falls, her carriage turns into a pumpkin and her gown into rags:

She lifted her veil and let it flutter away. She took her tokar off as well. The pearls rattled softly against one another as she unwound the silk.

“Khaleesi? ” Irri asked. “What are you doing?”

“Taking off my floppy ears.” – Daenerys, ADWD

In her haste to flee, she loses a shoe:

“Let me go!” Dany twisted from his grasp. The world seemed to slow as she cleared the parapet. When she landed in the pit she lost a sandal. Running, she could feel the sand between her toes, hot and rough. Ser Barristan was calling after her. – Daenerys, ADWD

The aftermath finds her alone in the grass sea, wearing literal rags (again, not unlike Cinderella), in a dream-like state and wondering what just happened. Unlike Cinderella, Dany has no desire to relive the ball and would much rather stay where she is, with her rags and her animal companion. Both girls experience an unpleasant return to reality. Cinderella must go back to being a slave to her step-mother and half-sister, while Dany knows she must go back to Meereen (which doesn’t quite work out, but).  

Yet for everything nightmarish about it, the reopening of the fighting pits meant something Dany deeply dreamed for and desired: peace. No more bloodshed in the streets of Meereen. The safety of her people. She wanted it and she got it, until the whole farce blew up in her face and the pit of Daznak turned into a pumpkin. I think that’s when she realized it: that the peace was never real, that Hizdahr’s “peace” was an illusion (as many before me have pointed out), a veil that got lifted with the twelve death blows of the pit.

[gobydana]

Amazing Quotes from the comics

Below are some of my favorite quotes from each person. Sorry this list is long. 

Bruce Wayne/Batman

- Death is powerless against you if you leave a legacy of good behind. Death is powerless against you if you do your job. My father saved the lives of over four thousand people, one at a time... with his bare hands and his mind. Death was with him the entire time.

-  Clark, I'm sure anywhere you go in the universe, you'll find stupid people.

-  You don't know how I question myself and everything I've become. The right of it. The wrong of it. Not allowing myself any reward for the good. Damning myself for every mistake. Thinking of everyone who's sacrificed themselves in my war. Everyone close to me. Everyone who cared.

- Our greatest glory is not in ever falling, but in rising every time we fall.

-  Sometimes it’s only madness that makes us what we are.

Selina Kyle/Catwoman

- Live fast. Love hard. Die young. Leave a good-smelling corpse.

-  A long time ago, before I put on this mask, I was afraid of everything

-  "Your ex-lover, a murderous psychopath who has repeatedly made our lives a living hell, nearly burns my new home to the ground and all you can say is 'gross'?!

-  Show a man what he expects to see, and he won't look beneath the surface.

Alfred Pennyworth

-  I fear sometimes, dear boy, that if you don't give this up, you'll have nothing. You can't have darkness and light at the same time, Master Bruce..

-  Everyone has a vulnerability

-  Hnn. At least when Master Richard snuck out, he had the decency to construct a pillow dummy.

-  Pirate Stories-why did I love them as a boy? Because at heart they're about children who rebel against their parents to create new lives for themselves. They're stories of defiance. But the trick is, when you look at them as a parent, you see, they're actually written as cautionary tales. The child comes home in the end, just before doom strikes the ship. But in this tale, Bruce, the one I've helped make for you, Batman...I worry it has gone on too long...that I've kept it going with you long past it's natural end. That's what I was screaming about when you were on the wrecked submarine. Not the ways you've failed me but the ways I may have failed you.

Kate Kane/Batwoman

-  You coming? Or do I have to smash this bitch in the teeth all by myself?

-  You think I'm afraid of you? Any of you? You gave me a bulletproof suit, you morons! What can you do to stop me?

-  You will never get these years with her back, and a daughter needs her mom. I know I did. And I would've done anything to have more time with her. I can't be the reason for doing that to another kid. I can't

- So there is someone new in town ... Who the hell wears white?

Luke Fox/Batwing

-  I really should lead with the knockout gas instead of conversation.

-  You're leading me around through this nightmare like it's business as usual. Like I'm supposed to accept the supernatural. I accept it, okay? And now I'm going to kick its ass!

-  This night sucks. And now I have no choice but to run and hide because "Mary Psycho Poppins" just handed me my ass.

Dick Grayson/Nightwing (including his time as robin)

-  With you guys, it seems like I'm hot stuff … a know-it-all … but I've been back with The Batman again, and next to him I feel like I'm a stupid kid repeating fifth grade … for the third time.

-  Try to understand our position here, Batman. You began training to be a hero as a young adult. For me and a lot of the other Titans -- like Vic -- that training shaped and influenced most of our childhood. Unlike the JLA, the Titans aren't just about a promise to the world -- it's also about a promise to each other … to ourselves. We swore on our childhood nightmares that we'd be there for one another. If I don't honor that I don't honor who I am.

-  Sometimes I'm surprised I can even stand on a high ledge after what happened to the Flying Graysons. Boss Zucco could have sabatoged Haly's Circus any number of ways to drive down business and get his protection money. Instead he gave the crowd that night a show they'll never forget. I know I won't. When my mom and dad died, attendance actually went up.

-  Okay Mom and Dad, your 'Flying Grayson' is about to take the great leap. Or as they say in French, Le Grand Saut. Down, down, and away. I'd say I wish you could see me now, but I know you're watching me - I can feel angels on my shoulders. And probably a bat too. You said some records aren't meant to be broken, Bruce. But more than anything, I wish you were down there right now watching with Alfred and Tim as I break this one.

-  I had a good teacher, except for the interpersonal skills and the ability to work with others. That was me.

Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle

- A little over a year has passed since my old life ended, since I died and was reborn. The shadows remain, but only to give contrast to the light. I am no longer a distaff impersonation of someone else — I’m me, more me than I have ever been. I embrace it, and the light, with a deep, continuing joy.

-  Gotham should be safe again. Well, until the next thing. There’s always another thing

-  Wait for a hero? Barbara Joan Gordon -- Be your own damn hero

-  I'll wake up, learn from my mistakes and ultimately win the fight. I always do.

Jason Todd (including his time as robin)

-  I'll be damned if my best friend is going to die ... because he was dumb enough to trust me

-  Someone tell me I'm not having a heart-to-heart with a reanimated assassin

-  Trust? You...? I'll... give it a try, guys. But I'll tell you right now... I'm probably going to screw it up.

-  I'm sorry, I'm never going to be the hero you want me to be. I have every confidence in you--that you'll stay the hero I know you are

Tim Drake/Red Robin (including his time as robin)

-  The weight of the future... all of our futures... it just presses on me sometimes. And lately, it's been crushing, and I've been too afraid to ask for help. But I need to, Bruce. So this is me, asking for help.

-  It’s not smart to blackmail the wrong people

- That’s what we are. Not just a team, but a family. One day we might be the Justice League, but for today we’re the Teen Titans. 

-  I had a plan. That plan just went to hell

Stephanie Brown/Spoiler (including her time as batgirl and robin)

-  How come every time I try to do this different than Batman, I end up doing exactly what Batman would do?

-  I am who I choose to be.

-  I just watch two guys stealing TVs run into one another. Sadly, both televisions were lost... On the bright side, they'll each have a friend in jail.

-  Here's the deal, I'm a 'punch first, ask questions later' kinda gal. Him? He's a stabber.

Cassandra Cain/Orphan (including her time as batgirl/black bat)

-  I don't kill. But I don't lose, either.

-  Gotham City. Gotham. City. That just... sounds right. Mailbox. Van. Razor. It's strange how naming... changes things. I've walked these streets... every inch of this city... but I never had the words. I never knew the names. Now... it's like it's all changed. All new. Or maybe... Maybe it's me that's changing.

-  A special ability to predict my opponent's moves. That doesn't begin to describe it. Time... ran together. The future... blending... into the moment. A blink of an eye... the knife thrust that follows... both one. It was like... like I could predict my opponent's moves. Okay, that does describe it. But it doesn't do it justice.

Damian Wayne/Robin

-  Father, I'm sure you'll be angry with me for disobeying you again but I don't care, I will not let you fight Leviathan alone. You need me and I will always be at your side. Because it will be hard for me to say these words face to face, I want you to know that Mother may have givenme life, but you taught me how to live. Love and respect your son Damian

-  I don't want to end up like Ducard... without a moral compass... I don't want to turn into a NoBody... I want to be like you. I've always wanted to be like you.

-  I'm sure you didn't leave your hole tonight thinking you'd get your ass kicked by a ten-year-old!

-  I'm not the one in a ship filled with alien freaks, so how about shutting up and letting me work on keeping you safe, father!

Duke Thomas/Signal

- Someone told me that the problem with youth is the inability to accept your own mortality. I wouldn't consider this one of my problems

-  Sometimes you're wrong. Sometimes there is a place for you at the table. Some mysteries may never be solved by you alone. Sometimes you don't have to prove yourself repeatedly -- because you're confident about your purpose. And sometimes you just have to get to work for everything to work out.

-  not to mention you tire stealing genius, i’m not robin!

-  My career of choice has crazy hours, bad benefits, and doesn't pay. But it's the dream I never knew I always had. Mom, dad... I'm going into the vigilante business. I hope I live to tell you all about it.

Harper Row/Blue bird

-  I want training. Proper training. Tim's great at the tech stuff, but so am I. I want to know how to karate chop someone in the neck so their eyeballs pop out. I want to know the cool stuff.

-  Sometimes all it takes is a few words to change your life. For me it took seven. Seven words, spoken in the dark.

-  And you thought "Oh, Hey, I'm going to just talk to the scariest-looking bastard in the Narrows and see what he thinks"?

-  I never had a choice - but only because this is what I want, more than anything. And I was going to do this. I've told you that, again and again

Jean-Paul Valley/Azreael

-  You aren't asking if I'm okay, Lucas. You are asking if I can fight. I am angrier than I have ever been in my life, and I am sharing my mind with one murderous AI, and another one modeled off the world's most dangerous vigilante. Yes Lucas. I am ready to fight

-  Nomoz...he’s the one who came for me...he’s the one who broke me. For the greater glory of God

Feel free to add onto this list. I would love to know everyone’s favorite quotes. 

[sims4ccpurgatory-blog]

A Complete Beginner’s Guide to Masking in Photoshop

Several years ago a friend of mine asked me to teach him how masks work in Photoshop. This is my incredibly late response.

We’ll go over the basics of what masks are, what they’re used for and how wielding them properly will take your Photoshop skills to an entirely new level.

What Is a Mask?

Layers are probably the single most important addition to Photoshop since the original version, but layer masks are a close second. I would posit that until you thoroughly understand how and why to use masks, you simply don’t understand the power of Photoshop.

The term “mask” isn’t immediately understandable to someone outside the realm of graphic design. At its simplest definition a mask is a way to apply something to a very specific portion of an image.

There are two primary types of masks: clipping masks and layer masks. These two tools are closely related in concept, but very different in application. Let’s start by discussing layers masks, which are generally what people are referring to when you hear them discuss Photoshop masking.

Layer Masks

A layer mask is something that you apply to a given layer to control the transparency of that layer. Where layer opacity controls the transparency of the entire layer at once, a mask gives you more precise controls over very specific areas. If you want the entire layer to be at 30%, you would lower the opacity, if you want just the left side of a layer to be at 30%, you would use a mask.

When you add a mask to a layer, it covers the entire thing with an invisible grayscale canvas. There are ways to see it that we’ll check out later but just know that as a general rule, applying a mask to a layer won’t cause any immediate visual differences unless you have an active selection at the time.

On this invisible canvas, you can paint white, black or any level of gray in-between. The color that you paint tells Photoshop how opaque to make the pixels at that point. White means 100% opacity and black means 0% opacity.

With this in mind, try to imagine what the mask below would do to a layer:

As you can see, if our mask was all white with the three circles shown above, we would have a completely visible layer where in all the white areas, and spots of transparency in the circles. If we apply this mask to a layer, this is the result:

Clipping Masks

Clipping masks are very similar to layer masks only they use one layer to determine the transparency of another. In this scenario, you stack two layers on top of each other with the bottom being the determining factor of the transparency of the top.

Instead of using black and white values though, clipping masks simply borrow transparency from the layers used to make them, namely the bottom layer. If the bottom layer has some areas that are opaque and some areas that are transparent, a clipping mask will apply these values to the top layer.

This one is hard to explain without an example, but becomes crystal clear when you see it in action. Let’s use the two layers shown below and say that our goal here is to cut or “clip” the wood layer to be in the shape of the letters. Notice that, at this point, the wood is the bottom layer and the text is the top layer.

To achieve the effect that we want, simply swap the position of the layers so that the wood is on the top, then go to the Layers menu at the top of your screen and select “Create Clipping Mask” (Command-Option-G). Voila, we now have the effect we were going for. Where the text layer was opaque, the wood layer is now opaque and where the text layer was transparent, the wood layer is now transparent.

There’s some really interesting functionality here. You can still position and make changes to each of the two layers independently. By dragging around the wood layer, you move the position of the texture inside the bounds of the letters while the letters themselves stay stationary.

Also, you can apply layer effects to the compilation via the bottom layer. For instance, here’s what happens if we select the text layer and add an Inner Shadow.

Clipping masks fun, functional and underrated, but the truth is that layer masks are far more common in every day use. The information above should be enough to get you off and running with clipping masks so from here on out we’ll focus purely on layer mask functionality.

How Do I Make a Layer Mask?

Now that we have a strong grasp of exactly what masks are and how the two different types of masks differ, let’s see how to create and work with a layer mask.

The first thing we need is two layers. I grabbed the two images below from photographers Adrian Durlea and Erik Soderstrom. The shack image is on the bottom and the fire is on the top.

The general idea here is to take some, not all, of the fire and apply it to the shack. The first step is to stack the two images as we see above and set the fire layer’s blending mode to Screen. This will make all of the black pixels transparent, which blends the two images together nicely.

With that one change, this is already a pretty decent image! Let’s say though that we want to only have fire near the door of the shack. To accomplish this, we’ll need to add a mask to the fire layer. Select the fire layer and click the mask icon shown in the image below.

Now, with the mask selected in the layers palette, we grab a soft, black brush and paint out the portions of the fire that we don’t want to see. As we do this, the fire begins to disappear. To bring it back, we simply paint white.

As you can see in the image below, with just a little painting, our fire is now much more centralized to the portion of the image that’s already lit up and therefore looks decently natural.

To see the actual mask, Option-Click (Alt-Click on a PC) on the little mask preview in the layers palette (Shift-click to hide the mask completely). After painting out some of our fire, this brings up the following:

Notice that we’re not just constrained to hard edges. The beauty of masks is that you can do anything you want with them as long as you can pull it off in values of gray. This means you can paint, clone, create and fill selections, copy and paste, and all kinds of other actions you perform on the main canvas.

Why Not Just Erase?

Upon first learning how to use masks, most rookies think the same thing: “I can already do all of this with the eraser tool.” Wrong! In fact, as far as I’m concerned, once you learn to mask, you should literally never pick up the eraser tool again because it tends to be so destructive.

What do I mean by destructive? Think about what happens when you use the eraser tool: it erases pixels. Mind you, it doesn’t hide them for a while until you want them back, it “destroys” the pixels. The changes that you make by deleting portions of a layer are permanent and can’t exactly be tweaked later.

This is simply a horrible way to work. With every new iteration of Photoshop, Adobe gives us more and more ways to make non-destructive edits, meaning those that don’t truly alter the original pixel data. For instance, Filters used to be a permanent and destructive change, if you blurred a layer, it was stuck that way! Now, with Smart Filters, you can always go back and adjust or even delete the blur.

This same concept gave birth to masks many years ago. With a mask, you not only have the ability to make remarkably detailed decisions about the transparency of a layer or group of layers, even better, you have the freedom to go back and refine or scrap those changes at any time. If I had erased my fire in the example above, it would be gone forever and bringing it back would involve importing the layer all over again. However, because I used a mask, all I have to do is fill that mask with white and immediately all of my fire detail returns.

To use the metaphor of an actual mask, imagine that you want to change your appearance for Halloween. You have two options: the first is to undergo plastic surgery to permanently change your face to look like that of a scary creature and the second is to wear a mask. In this scenario, the eraser tool is plastic surgery. It’s simply a bad choice when you’re not sure that you want the changes to be permanent. Go with the mask instead.

Advanced Masking Techniques

The information above is an absolute beginner’s guide to masks. Odds are, if you’ve been using Photoshop for a while, not a single piece of this was news to you. In fact, you may be thinking that masks are so incredibly simple that they barely merit conversation.

However, masking techniques go from simple to wickedly complex really fast. It’s easy enough to paint some broad strokes to erase large portions of an image, but what if you want to do something more complex? For instance, let’s say we want to take the cat below off of its white background.

Furry animals make particularly difficult masking subjects. All of that fine hair detail means making an accurate selection will be time consuming. The Magic Wand or even the Pen Tool are of no use to us here. So how do the pros start with the image above and create a mask like the one below?

If you’re ready to find out, keep reading as we undertake this feat!

Change the Channel

The good news about the cat image is that there is plenty of contrast to work with. The key to making a good mask is finding contrast and knowing how to pull it out. Here we have a fairly dark cat on a bright white background, which means all we have to do is figure out how to leverage our good fortune and convert the contrast already present into a suitable mask.

The first step in a project like this is to jump over to the Channels Palette and look for the channel with the most contrast. So in our case, we want the channel with the darkest cat and the brightest background, which turns out to be the blue channel.

Make a copy of the blue channel, select it and hit Command-L to bring up a Levels Adjustment. Darken the shadows and the midtones so that there is a crazy amount of contrast like in the image below. Be careful to no go too far with this adjustment. You’ll want to zoom in and watch the hair detail on the fringes of the fur to make sure you’re not clipping too much. It doesn’t have to be perfectly black and white at this point, some dark grays are acceptable.

At this point you encounter one of the trickiest steps of the entire process. The goal is to get as much of the cat as closest to black as you can. This is easy for the face potions and other random spots near the center, just grab a black brush and fill them in. But what about the edge of the hair?

It turns out one of the best ways to handle this task is to use a couple of unlikely candidates: the Dodge and Burn Tools. The reason these work so well is that they can accurately target certain ranges of gray extremely accurately. I set the Dodge Tool to target the highlights and the Burn Tool to target the shadows, grab a medium size soft brush and make my way around the edges of the image, burning shadows and dodging highlights until I like the level of detail that I’m seeing.

This may sound like a time-intensive task, and it can be for some images, but in truth the Dodge and Burn Tools feel like magic when you’re using them and take much of the work out. I was able to come up with a great looking silhouette in only a minute or two.

Once you’re done here, hit Command-Shift-I to inverse the channel so that the cat is white and the background is black like in the image below. Remember that, in masking, white is opaque and black is transparent.

Converting the Channel to a Mask

Now that we have a channel that accurately represents what we want from a mask, how do we convert it? There are a few ways to do this but the easiest is just to Command-click on the channel to load a selection. With a selection loaded, return to your cat layer and click the New Mask button. That’s all there is to it!

Defringing the Mask

As you can see, despite a super detailed mask, we still have some white fringing occurring around the edges. Getting rid of this can literally take hours of tedious work if you don’t know what you’re doing. For starters, we can use the fantastic new Masks Palette in conjunction with Refine Edge to make some live adjustments to our mask.

Utilizing these tools properly takes practice. I won’t cover them closely now because it would take so much time but I encourage you to dig in and play with all of the controls to get a feel for what they do. Often, you can patch up a rough edge in seconds with these sliders, but with our cat project I wasn’t really getting any results that I liked so I cancelled out this operation altogether.

Instead, I went to the Layer menu at the top of the screen and selected Matting>Color Decontaminate. This is an almost hidden command that has the ability to yield some amazing results. As you can see in the image below, it went a long way toward reducing our halo. Note that this command is actually destructive so you should always duplicate your layer before using it.

From here, the last trick I use is to look for problematic areas and actually run the clone brush over the fringes. The mask keeps everything looking nice and cloning replaces unnatural colors with those from the actual fur of the cat in other places. Compare the back and head of the cat in the image below to that above to see the improvement.

Finishing Up

From here it becomes a factor of how much time you want to spend refining your result. With complicated masks like these there is always room for improvement but you’ll find that the point of diminishing returns on your time spent becomes easier and easier to spot as your skill level improves.

The technique we just discussed is just to give you a taste of how advanced masking can become. There are a ton of different types of images to mask and therefore a million different tricks and techniques to figure out along the way which can be mixed and matched on a per-project basis. Practice makes perfect, just be bold and never become intimidated by a masking job that seems too complex. Think through the process one step at a time and find ways to pull out the detail you need.

Conclusion

To sum up, there are two primary types of masks in Photoshop: layer masks and clipping masks. Layer masks use values of gray to assign levels of transparency to specific portions of a layer or group of layers while clipping masks use the transparency of one layer to define that of a different layer or group of layers.

Also, while masking in simple in concept, the actual art takes considerable time, education and practice to master. Leave a comment below and let us know if you learned anything from the information above. Also be sure to share any unique masking techniques or tricks you might have!

Photo Credits: Adrian Durlea, Erik Soderstrom, and Sergiu Bacioiu.

[megashadowdragon]

sanji will end up transforming after getting angry enough

Diable Jambe, although it makes Sanji stronger is more of a technique rather than a traditional power up. It’s more of a Gear 3rd rather than a Gear 2nd/4th. I believe Sanji’s next power-up will play more with the Devil theme that Oda has given Sanji. I believe Sanji will have an emotion based Hakuba like transformation, to where when he gets angry he heats up, his blood “starts boiling” and his facial expression changes. A berserk mode if you will. In my opinion Thriller Bark was a huge playground for Oda to forshadow future abilities and power ups. Nightmare Luffy -> Gear 4th Luffy, Sanji bursting into flames -> Hell Memories, Franky’s docking - Franky Shogun, Robin’ Big Tree -> Mil Fleur: Gigantesco Mano, Zoro burning Ryuma -> Zoro’s future Fire technique (he showed interest in Kinemon’s teqnique) … and finally the scene is similar to sanji reminds me of  this panel):

so  sanji will have  a devil form which he reaches through anger there’s a tokusatsu that we know Oda likes, which would be a much more explicit inspiration for the Germa 66 : Kamen Rider. specifically the villainous organization shocker 

Shocker was a terrorist organization that planned on ruling the world (in the original manga is shown that Shocker had some influences over the governments of the world), with virtually all of its members modified in some way. The founders had mostly Nazi ties so it fits that germa66 not only references the nazis but the shocker organization from kamen rider Shocker’s scientists performed surgical alterations that gave the subject superhuman fighting abilities. Even the most basic Shocker soldier was tougher, stronger and faster than the average human civilian. The most powerful of their forces were the Kaijin, modified humans who were combined with animal DNA and human cybernetics to create living weapons. In an attempt to create the ultimate warriors, they were responsible for the rise of the very first Kamen Riders 1 and 2, whom defected and became the heroes who would ultimately lead to the fall of Shocker. and sanji and his siblings were altered genetically and the kamen riders specialty is the kamen rider KICK

In it Kamen Rider Black RX is a cyborg whose motif is a black grasshopper, which mirrors Sanji’s own epithet as Black Leg. Grasshoppers are known for their incredible spring like leg muscles that allow them to jump incredible heights which allow them to launch themselves in the air to fly. However he also has another motif and that is based on the sun. Kamen Rider Black RX is a photosynthetic warrior who is powered by the sun.

Since Kamen Rider is powered by the sun, he can set his legs and fists on fire to increase the lethality of his kicks and punches, which is basically what Sanji’s Diable Jambe does

and kamen rider black who sanji is partly inspired from had a transformation called the prince of anger which he  transformed when he reached a certain level of anger

I like to add that when Sanji was fighting with Judge and thought about their past, his Dj(Poele A Frire) glowed brighter than than usual.

against judge

Diable Jambe and Poele A Frire against Doflamingo:

and sanjis raid suit is called stealth BLACK

plus on sanji resembling kamen rider black rx  who is solar powered

both sanjis experience as a child  and duval was a reference to the man in the iron mask .

Though based on a real prisoner in the late 1600’s who Louis XIV forced to always wear a velvet mask to hide his identity and who was made to serve other prisoners, one of the most popular versions of the story is that of Alexandre Dumas, translated into a film in 1998. The prisoner, now shown wearing an iron mask, was Louis XIV’s twin brother  

sanji had encountered the same fate as written in Alexandre DUMAS book (The Vicomte of Bragelonne: Ten Years Later). Declared dead for the country but condemned to wear a mask and to spend all his life in an horrible prison

and louis XIV was known as the sun king and kamen rider black rx is solar powered

and sanjis and zoros rivalry parallels inuarashi and nekomamushis rivalry ( and inuarashi is called the ruler of the day and has a group under him that reference the three musketeers by alexander dumas  (a french story ) and sanji was dressed up as a musketeer and oda said in an sbs that sanji in the real world would be french

porche-chan . tumblr . com/post/134501849916/weve-located-zoros-fashion-twinkie-everyone

We’ve located Zoro’s fashion twinkie, everyone!. One Piece, chapters 82 and 809 porche-chan . tumblr . com/post/138118772526/i-made-an-observation-a-while-back-about#notes I made an observation a while back about Nekomamushi and Zoro being fashion twinkies, but now that I think about it, Inuarashi is wearing pinstripes, which is an early Sanji trademark:

And as Wanda explains in chapter 809, Inuarashi and Nekomamushi seem to have a little bit of a volatile relationship, not unlike Sanji and Zoro:

I have no fully formed theories regarding this, really, but there doesseem to be a recent influx (i.e. since Dressrosa) of duos whose dynamics are reminiscent of Zoro and Sanji. They all seem to exhibit a rivalrous and/or combative temperament, but there is either a history or discovery of working well together. And they all share, in some capacity, characteristics relatable to Sanji and Zoro in physical appearance:

What I hope it means, though, is that we’re going to see some next level development in Sanji and Zoro’s relationship. Like, some Thriller Bark level type of stuff. porche-chan . tumblr . com/post…is-an-imposing-figure?is_related_post=1#notes Like Zoro, Nekomamushi is an imposing figure; strong, intimidating and perceptive. And like Zoro (with his naps and sake), Nekomamushi also exhibits hedonistic tendancies:

And most hilariously, they both share a general disregard for their poor, poor medical professional:

both nekomamushi and inuarashi (zoro and sanjis counterparts) losing the precise limb that could incapacitate zoro and sanjis respective fighting styles

about inuarashis similarities to sanji I have to point out that inuarashi has a group that operates under his command called the Inuarashi Musketeer Squad Among them are three minks known as the “Three Inuarashi Musketeers”, The name of the squad is a reference to the novel The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. a french story and oda stated in an sbs that sanji would be french in the real world

and this could make three allusions/connections that sanji has to the sun since inuarashi was the ruler of the day

sanji may  end use white fire

It is a common misconception that the Sun is yellow, or orange or even red. However, the Sun is essentially all colors mixed together, which appear to our eyes as white. This is easy to see in pictures taken from space.

Even though red typically represents hot or danger, in a fire, it depicts cooler temperatures. Blue, on the other hand, while representing cooler colors in society, actually epitomizes the opposite in fires as some of the hottest flames all around. When all flame colors combine, they produce white, the hottest color of them all. (though some say blue fire is the hottest  and it would fit for sanji to use use it since sanji is associated with the color blue )

  sanjis transformation being a physical transformation where he goes into a devil form  ( This has already been hinted at with Hell Memories where he remembers his past two years in order to enter a rage mode and Diable Jambe burns so intense it produces enough fire to cover the rest of his body:)

and “2. The Devil theme, started with Devil’s Leg and continued with Hell Memories could be greatly substantiated by having a mode in which Sanji becomes a Devil in terms of his personality as well. It could also lead to him earning a new moniker in the future, one that could better encompass what Sanji has become through out his journey, compared to the Black Leg that stuck closely to the teachings of Zeff before leaving the floating restaurant.”

zoro is connected to the ruler of the night nekomamushi in contrast to sanji with inuarashi while day = light night is connected to the dark so it fits for zoro to be the next dark king along with the parallels he has to Rayleigh like with the scar they both have on their eye. and there is the possibility that sanji will get the nickname light/sun  king which is fitting since his backstory and duvals character is a reference to the man in the iron mask who was said to be the twin brother of the sun king. so it fits if sanji gets the nickname sun/light king which will be after sanji vs kizaru (or before and it will foreshadow the confrontation ) since kizaru uses light and sanji will probably have conquerors haki ( since any time we see someone with conquerors haki they have a nickname associated with royalty or they have royal blood

given sanjis connections to the sun I think sanji will have powers that connect to fire and light which fits with sanjis theme  being satan the master of fire  who was once lucifer (lightbringer)

megashadowdragon . tumblr . com/post/139186383737/sanji-represents-satan-who-was-once-lucifer-the

or maybe sanji will transform as a result of ussops death megashadowdragon . tumblr . com/post/138764551657/kizaru-will-kill-ussop-and-it-will-lead-to-sanji/embed

after all the scene in thriller bark was zoro telling  usopp  not to rile him up anymore or else he will transform and usopp would inadvertently cause sanji to be riled up enough to transform by his death after all we know how much sanji cares about protecting people and  how angry sanji got in the usopp situation.

“You know what’s more amazing here than the fact that Sanji seriously kicked his captain’s rubbery ass? He almost hurt Nami by kicking Luffy right toward her direction. Nami was threatened enough to actually scream, not just dodge out of Luffy’s way. Sanji doesn’t apologize to Nami - hell, I bet he didn’t even realize that he almost hurt her. This really shows the heat of the moment, as well as how much Sanji was upset over Luffy’s words to Usopp”.

“sunnyul . tumblr . com/post/145669021863/you-know-whats-more-amazing-here-than-the-fact#notes

sanji was always someone who would defend usopp and in some way save him

sanji ended up going  go against people who have harmed usopp two times before but each time the damage  to ussop and the danger to ussops life that the  person provided  grown  the first time with bon clay bon clay had beaten ussop up and stole his goggles when sanji was far away but didnt kill him   and sanji wanted to get them back for ussop   , the second time with jabura he beat ussop up and then tried to land the finishing blow but sanji got there in time and saved  ussops life so the third time  usopp will die by kizarus hands  with sanji not being able to get there in time to save ussop and seeing ussops death (or coming in right after ussop died )    he would lose it  if usopp dies that will be the end for usopp in contrast to nami just getting a bit hurt 

@pernanegra

@sanjiafsincedayone

[unadulteratedfandomtrash]

Namjoon x Idol!Reader ~ Better Than An Award

[My BTS Masterlist]

A/N: This story was inspired by the video of Bangtan receiving their Daesang back in 2016.

Word count: 3472 (g/n): group name (fb/n) fanbase name (h/c): hair color

Loud screams, chants, and compliments of the attenders of the Daesang Awards ceremony echo throughout the large arena. Massive numbers of fans would seem overwhelming to the average person if he or she were to stand on the stage, facing the crowd. The noise only gets louder as a group of young women walk down the large catwalk, their group leader taking her spot in the center with a microphone in hand. As soon as she raises the microphone to speak, the audience settles down, but resorts to chanting the group's name in a repetitive fashion.

"Annyeonghaseyo! We are (G/n)! Tonight, we'll be announcing the winner of the 'Artist of the Year' award!"

Once again, the crowd goes crazy after the group's introduction. Their screams rival the volume of the young idol's amplified voice. With a small wave of her hand, (Y/n) motions for the audience to remain silent. The (fb/n)s are the first to quiet down, the other audience members following their example shortly after.

"This year's 'Artist of the Year' award goes to..."

Slowly peeling open the envelope, (Y/n) carefully removes the results from its sleeve. She pulls out the small slip of paper with the winner's name and takes a moment to read it. A small smile tugs at her lips once she recognizes the name. There isn't a sliver of doubt in her mind that any other artist should get this award. After years of watching their videos and listening to their songs, (Y/n) is positively sure that the recipients are more than worthy of the award.

"Congratulations, Bangtan Sonyeondan!"

Shrieks of joy erupt throughout the crowd. Confetti drops from the ceiling as the group's most recent and popular song "Blood, Sweat & Tears" plays loudly. Bending over in their seats, the boys can only blink in shock. They're too surprised to leave their spots. Slowly, each of the Bangtan members stand up, some helping out the one's who are still frozen with shock. With huge smiles adorning their faces, the young men come together for a group hug before walking over to the stairs leading up to the stage.

Some of them tear up. Jimin and Yoongi dawdle along behind the other members with an arm wrapped around each other for support. Namjoon clasps his hands before his chest with his head hung above his hands, whispering words of thanks.

In unison, BTS bows their heads down in thanks to (Y/n) as Namjoon accepts the award from her hands. A small heat burns in the rapper's cheeks when his hands brush against (Y/n)'s. He mentally scolds himself for fawning over his favorite idol at such a time.

The group fans out to stand in a line, waiting for the screams to die down. Several of the group members have to wipe away their tears, a few opting to turn around before doing such.

"ARMY," the group leader begins, stopping to wipe his tears before being able to continue. "Thank you so much. Really... From debut, there were many people who thought we couldn't do it and said it wouldn't happen, but thank you for believing in us right 'till the end. This was only something we dreamed of, but thank you for making it come true."

From the sides, backstage, (Y/n) and the rest of (G/n) watch with proud smiles. All of them have been loyal, secret ARMYs since BTS's debut. Acting as secret guardian angels, the group has always attended their concerts in Korea whenever their schedules were clear. Of course, they always went in disguises, masks covering their faces, hats shading their faces, and sunglasses hiding the rest of their faces. In their dorm room, the girls have an entire shelf dedicated to any merchandise and albums they bought.

"Bang Shi-Hyuk, Big Hit, who always lead us; P-Dogg, Slow-Rabbit, and Supreme-Boi, who make us great music; and along with our teacher, Seung-Deuk, Seung-Hyun Hyung, and all of our staff who always stays by our sides, we are so grateful towards you," Namjoon recognizes with sincerity. "Thank you for making our dreams come true."

(I apologise if that is the incorrect way to write any of the people's names from above. If any of you know the correct way, please let me know and I will fix it right away.)

Taking a moment to breathe, the leader inhales a shaky breath before continuing his speech; the crowd takes the opportunity to cheer.

"And, ARMYs all over the world," the rapper says in English,"let's fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 as well. BTS loves ARMYs, as always! Thank you very much!"

Tears flow freely from all the Bangtan boys, their loving fans, and (Y/n) as well. From backstage, (Y/n) applauds and praises the male rapper the most. She can sympathize with him. Before the other six member of her group came along, (Y/n) was the only girl from the original lineup for (G/n). The joining and leaving of so many different members can leave one unsure if he or she wants to follow through with the group; contemplation of leaving lingered.

Tonight, (Y/n) is both applauding BTS for their award and for Namjoon's hard work and perseverance. Had he left the group early on, Bangtan Sonyeondan would not be where they are at today; a record-breaking, award-winning, world-wide famous Kpop group.

---

Once the award winners were all announced, Namjoon tries to look for (Y/n). He weaves his way through the large groups of other idols, keeping his eyes peeled for the girl he is seeking. Recalling the outfit she has on, the rapper is able to sift through the crowds more easily. Idol after idol, the man known as Rap Monster questions the other performers about (Y/n)'s whereabouts. Sadly, none of them are know where she had gone off to.

Just when he's about to give up, Namjoon spots a (h/c) haired girl wearing the same outfit as (Y/n) pass by, heading for the exit with her group members. Namjoon breaks into a sprint in order to catch up to the girls. Repeatedly shouting out "excuse me" and "sorry" to everybody he pushes aside as he runs, the rapper tries his best slip out of the sea of idols.

By the time he reaches the parking lot, (G/n) has already left. He watches as the van doors slide shut and the vehicle drive off the arena property. A growl of frustration leaves Namjoon's throat. With all the strength he can muster, the rapper kicks the nearest wall. All his emotions come pouring out.

Though (G/n) is under Big Hit Entertainment, the group is so busy that none of the other idols see them around often. Being a busy and popular group themselves, BTS's chances of running into the girl group is even more slim than any other staff member or idol. Before tonight's encounter, Namjoon has only seen (Y/n) a small handful of times. With her group going on a world tour in a few months, Namjoon is left devastated. Distracted by his choked sobs and loud gasps for air, the young man is unable to hear the footsteps of his friends advancing towards him.

The remaining six members of the Bangtan boys walk out to the parking lot with big smiles and red faces from laughter. As they approach Namjoon, they cannot see his pained expression in the poorly lit corner. Hoseok and Yoongi are the first to respond, rushing over to their best friend. They crouch down beside the man, who has been crying out in despair, and try to coax a response out from him. The other boys split up, two of them dashing across the lot to pull the van up while the other two stay with the rappers, trying their best to comfort Namjoon.

"What's wrong," Yoongi questions, placing a comforting hand on his peer's shoulder. "Did something bad happen?"

Choosing to remain silent, Namjoon tucks his head between his legs and bites back a sob. The two other rappers exchange worried glances. Harsh screeches of the boys' van tires catches the younger members' attentions. Jin, who is situated at the driver's seat, waves for his friends to climb in.

"C'mon, 'Joonie," Hoseok says softly, his voice contrasting with his usual cheerful and energetic one. "Let's go back to the dorm. You can take a warm shower and then tells us what's the matter."

---

Despite their best efforts to comfort him, nothing helped. He explains to his fellow idols the situation and all his bottled up emotions before thanking the boys for their attempts, apologizing for causing a ruckus and heading straight to bed.

From the small living area, the rest of Bangtan can hear the soft cries from the room their leader trudged into. Tossing ideas back and forth, the members brainstorm different methods and tactics to cheer up Namjoon.

"No, Taehyung, we cannot kidnap (Y/n) and keep her captive in our dorm," the eldest member cries out in horror, shaking his head in disbelief. "That is not how you get a girl to like someone. Your 'method' would make her hate us AND Namjoon."

"Then just tell her how Namjoon feels. Problem solved," Yoongi grumbles sleepily from the couch. He rests an arm over his eyes and sighs deeply. "It's simple and requires less work."

"No!!" Jin chides. "It's not our place to tell her something so private. Namjoon should be the one to say something, not us."

"What do we do then, Jin-Hyung," whines the golden maknae," You've been turning down every idea that has been thought of. It's getting late. Manager said that we have to wake up early tomorrow for a special event."

"Whaaaaaaaat?! What do you mean special event?! I'm too tired to wake up early tomorrow!!"

"Oi! Shut up! Some people are trying to sleep!"

"Guys, guys." Jimin interjects, shushing the boisterous group with a finger pressed to his lips. "Let's just go to bed and not argue over this."

With a majority of the heads nodding in agreement, the boys head off to their respective rooms and fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the plush mattress. Several of the boys steal extra pillows to cuddle with, wrapping their limbs around the fluffy cushions. The eldest remains awake a little longer, hoping that by tomorrow, his depressed friend will find happiness during the "special event" their manager has scheduled for the group.

---

Arriving at the dance studio where they always practice, the Bangtan Boys set down their water bottles and start their normal stretching routines. Shortly after entering the Big Hit building, the boys' manager explained that they will be collaborating to film a "fun, little promotion video" with a group that will remain anonymous until the filming period. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so none of the boys act surprised, but they are very excited for the collaboration video. Namjoon, who was still upset about the previous night, felt his spirits being lifted around his cheerful friends.

Forming into small groups, with one main dancer in each cluster of BTS members, the boys practice the dance moves for "Blood, Sweat & Tears." Vibrations from the loud music, in addition to the jumping and stomping of the idols, shakes the floor and walls of the studio. From the outside, staff members and other idols passing by can hear the jubilant shouts of the young males within can be clearly heard. They ignore the noise, having learned that such occurrences are anything but rare whenever Bangtan Sonyeondan is in the building.

With the music on full blast, the boys are unable to hear the creaking sounds of the opening   door behind them. A group of seven shuffles into the loud studio and make an effort to slam the door as hard as they can. Namjoon jumps at the sudden banging noise, being the only member to be only half-participating in the horseplay. The rapper stands still, eyes widened with shock at the sight before him. It takes a couple of seconds before he clears his throat and yells at the member closest to the laptop and speakers.

"Turn off the music!!"

Once the music is turned down, the room is filled with a new sound: giggles. All seven of the (G/n) members cannot contain their laughter after witnessing the males' goofy dancing. The boys all flush pink with embarrassment, but promptly assemble together to politely introduce themselves.

"2, 3, Bangtan... Annyeonghaseyo, we are Bangtan Sonyeondan!"

Looking up after bowing down, the boys see (G/n) bowing in return. Namjoon, being the clumsy man he is, nearly stumbles forward when he realizes that (Y/n) is standing before him. She notices and shoots him a concerned glance, but he brushes it off with a dimpled smile as her group starts their introduction.

"1, 2, 3... Annyeonghaseyo, we are (G/n)!"

"Not to be rude," Jin comments," but why are you guys here? Aren't you busy with your new album?"

"Yeah, we are," answers (Y/n)," but we are here to film a promotional video with you guys. You all know about the filming today, right?"

"Y-Yeah," Namjoon stutters. "We're just surprised, that's all."

"Oh, okay!"

(Y/n)'s soft giggles makes the rapper's heart leap into his throat. The loud thumping of his heartbeat mutes out all other sounds in the room. A sudden epiphany comes to him. Namjoon now has his chance to talk with his favorite idol.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

A sharp, patterned cracking noise pulls Namjoon out of his thoughts. He shakes his head before looking back at the woman who has been snapping in front of his face for nearly a minute.

"S-Sorry about that. I was lost in a thought."

"It happens to the best of us. Now, let's start filming that video!"

---

The camera rolls and all the idols in the room start the given activity. Each of the (G/n) members are paired up with a member from BTS. Much to his delight, Namjoon is paired up with (Y/n). Giddily, the rapper comes to a decision: He will act with the utmost respect and gentleman-like manners towards (Y/n).

"Okay, Namjoon, (Y/n), you two will sit adjacent to each other at the table and when the cameras roll, I want you two to look through that textbook on the table and pretend to be studying." The director yells through a megaphone while waving his free arm around, motioning the two group leaders to the set on his right. Once (Y/n) and Namjoon are seated, the director screams "Action!" and the two take on their roles for the video.

On the outside, the male rapper appears to be his normal, suave self. In reality, he is doing everything in his power to calm his tense nerves. When (Y/n) gestures a finger to a random line of text in the book, Namjoon leans in closer, as if to examine the words. His face brushes against her own as the man pretends to help (Y/n). Distracted by his anxiousness, Namjoon accidentally swings his arm out and knocks a vase off the tabletop. The decorative container shatters in an instant, flowers splaying out onto the floor as water floods out in a radial fashion.

"Aaahhh!" Namjoon jumps, his entire body lurching backwards, causing his chair to tip over.

"Are you okay?!" (Y/n) worriedly yells, leaping out of her seat to help the fallen man. "You should be more careful. You could have gotten hurt!"

"I'm okay," he assures, waving his hand at the other idols who had run over upon hearing the sound of the ceramic container breaking.

Jin pays no mind to the leader's words. He rushes over and, with (Y/n), pulls Namjoon to his feet. Like the motherly person he is, Jin brushes off any dirt or debris from his friend's clothes while ranting about the man being "too dangerous for the world" and  having a "destructive touch."

"Is everybody okay?" The director, once again, yells through his megaphone. When all the idols give a shout of confirmation, he has the vase replaced and starts the camera again.

During the second take, Namjoon acts out his lines hastily. The embarrassment from before takes a toll on his performance. A wave of nausea comes crashing down on him out of the blue, causing Namjoon to instinctively smack a hand over his forehead. Trying to rub away the sickening feeling, the rapper moves his arm out to allow his head to rest against his limb. This action, yet again, results in the newly placed vase to fly off the table.

Shouts of disbelief can be heard from the other end of the room, where the the twelve remaining idols are standing, waiting for their cue to step on set. Several of the Bangtan members face-palm at the second mistake from "god of destruction."

"Are you alright? What's going on?"

An awkward silence lingers in the air when Namjoon remains silent, only shrugging his shoulders as an answer. After embarrassing himself for the second time in under an hour, Namjoon shamefully keeps his eyes glued to the ground below him. He doesn't want to face any more humiliation in front of the girl that he is smitten with.

Sensing the male rapper's perturbation, the director calls for a ten minute break and suggests that Namjoon step outside for some fresh air. He readily agrees and darts out the back door without a moment's notice.

(Y/n) waits for a few minutes to let rapper collect himself before running off to check on the him. She pushes the heavy door open and slips through the small opening before it closes shut.

---

Hearing the door open Namjoon's body whips around, his mind ready to curse at whoever is joining him. When he sees (Y/n), he shrinks away and averts his gaze, refusing to let the girl witness him in such a weak state, but she won't have any of it. With the gentleness of a mother's touch, (Y/n) gingerly grabs Namjoon by the shoulders and turns his body to face her own.

"You've been crying... Why?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about..."

"That's where you're wrong. You can't concentrate on a scene with me and end up in the back of the building crying. I think I deserve to know why you're acting like this. Did I do something to hurt you?"

Namjooon's eyes widen after hearing her words. He is quick to reassure (Y/n) that she was not the source of the problem, even though she is, although for a more complex reason. Using the simple excuse of having jittery nerves, Namjoon is able to dismiss any thoughts of wrongdoing from (Y/n)'s mind.

"Oh, well, whenever I get nervous, one of the girls help to calm me down. We would just talk about random things until I'm ready to partake in our activity. Since we don't have much time left, I'll give you something for good luck!"

"What do y-"

The feeling of soft, warm lips on his cold cheek startles Namjoon. The rapper is more than shocked when (Y/n) pulls away with a bright smile on her face.

"Bangtan, fighting," she cheers.

Without a doubt, Namjoon's face shows exactly what he feels at the moment: shock. His body is frozen and unable to move. (Y/n) takes his silence as her cue to leave, but before she can reach the door, she is stopped by Namjoon's voice.

"I really like you," blurts out the brunet, who immediately slaps his hand over his mouth after realizing what he had just disclosed. The man's cheeks, which are already flushing pink from the cold, burn bright red.

Instead of leaving like he thought she would, (Y/n) turns around, a smile gracing her lips. She approaches Namjoon and plants a chaste kiss to his cheek again. "I'm glad you do, 'cuz I like you too. Now, let's go back inside and finish that video!!"

Walking hand-in-hand, the pair return to the set and wrap up the scene without a single mistake, leaving the remaining members of the other groups confused until they detect the close bond (Y/n) and Namjoon had formed during the short period of their break.

All the members of BTS smile warmly at the two, knowing that a beautiful relationship will soon blossom.

The End