#its taking too long tho so i need other inspiration to keep me writing abt them

[24hourmess]

alright the voices won. if anyone wants to share any mercelot prompts or headcanons or songs to relate them to, etc. feel free to fill up my inbox

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Hamilton!firstprince au

(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)

in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical

the similarities:

both have/will have a political career

both often talk too much/don't mind their words

both began as lawyers

both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)

both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans

hamilton speculated to be bi

the story

the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years

idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland

alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony

but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)

june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence

when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion

thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous

his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex

ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe

now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that

he attends uni + meets like-minded people there

tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling

they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion

henry is one of those soldiers

he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality

the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home

henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway

alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun

nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)

henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 

there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 

it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 

henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it

many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position

alex doesn't 

of course alex also doesn't know him

and alex hates him

but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back

henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square

alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker

henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause

at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments

the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills

henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 

“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 

“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”

alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 

“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 

“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 

cue enraged henry noises 

alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 

there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger

like it can't be anything else 

while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts

henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing

school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 

alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary

luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man

alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future

as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists

henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then

henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic

alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun

henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry

“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion

henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 

becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying

but he also doesn't regret protecting alex

alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth

henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.

alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet

soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge

henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly

henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 

besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid

eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world

he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over

alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body

things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry

they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows

alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down

it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle

being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore

it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on

they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too

they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married

they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public

alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically

so alex and henry discuss what to do 

henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case

henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  

alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years

luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance

but alex knows he'll have some good advice

alex + luna end up having a long conversation

like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth

hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life

alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special

“who is she?” 

“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  

“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end

“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”

alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies

he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough

also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests

so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives

separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician

as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice

all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics

the two of them live happy and full lives together

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02, Ep15

The anticipated” teacher conference”. While this ep is focused on yuki successfully overcoming his frightening “mother’s ghost”, I think it does a brilliant job amplifying the real “mother ghost” in the story.

A Mother’s Ghost:

Tohru is haunted by her mom’s ghost. Everything must stay as her mom wished:continue high school/find job. No selfish desires for herself. Nothing personal to pursue. past plans were made for two: a mother & daughter. Now she’s all alone. Future Status: In stagnation.

Kyo is haunted by two ghosts (his mom & kyoko). Literally two ghosts of two dead mothers. both deaths are supposedly caused by him. "you aren’t forgiven/won’t forgive you” are uttered by so many adults now, his father, Akito, the sohma’s & kyoko herself. Now he believes it, too. He must mend his mistakes by making sure the only two ppl he loves are safe. from him. Accuse a child of hideous things for too long, soon it becomes his reality. Future Status: Nonexistent.

Yuki is haunted by his mom’s ghost. tho his is alive & denying him affection, love & care. The old yuki would’ve got asthma attack & fainted. The new yuki is different. He isn’t alone. far more ppl have reached out to him. Tohru, Haru, kakeru & Aya. He had discovered warmth. The ghost isn’t scary as it used to be. It’s actually small & panicky. He’s stronger. Future status: hopeful & bright.

Real Mother vs Unknowing Mother Figure:

Yuki continues his plot line of moving forward & altho I suspected that he’ll receive help to overcome setbacks, I totally forgot abt Aya! XD. I thought tohru might’ve had a more active role in defending him as usual. But I’m glad she didn’t have any physical part in the conference scene cuz it helps the theme of yuki moving away from tohru & learning to lean on others until he can stand tall. Also, the writer excellently accelerated yuki’s growth using Ayame cuz (a) it helps strengthen their brotherly bond. (b) Yuki accepted his brother completely, thanked & defended him in front of his scary mom, adding to (c) Aya’s subplot of being rewarded for his many attempts to atone for neglecting yuki. (d) Teaching yuki that his scary mom can be rendered helpless in front of a confident person. (e) Yuki taking all that in & using it to stand up for himself by the end of the scene & articulate that His future is HIS. (f) yuki discovering that he doesn't need tohru’s help as much as before. (g) yuki realizing what he sought in tohru (motherly emotional nurture). Finally (h) tohru letting go of yuki!! She saw he doesn't need her as much anymore. While tohru obviously doesn’t look for a child/baby in yuki, she most genuinely cared for him as a friend but she also indulged in his issues to escape hers. the more the sohma’s get strong & don’t require much of her help, the more she’ll be forced to face her mom’s ghost..What will you do tohru if tomorrow the curse broke?.if all you have left is you & your mom’s picture..

Eating somen & its double meaning. a.k.a ( brilliant writing)!!!:

SE02, Ep.2, was the introduction to future planning. Kyo, troubled by his future, decided to eat comfort food & cooked somen. Tohru, troubled by her furure, couldn’t seep, joined in & cooked/eaten with him. Later Shigure & yuki joined. That day tohru felt so much better. Why? cuz she ate somen with friends? NO. Cuz she opened her heart & cried for herself. kyo made her,unwillingly, peek into her fears. Had she not talked & broke into tears, shigure wouldn’t have suggested the laundry analogy & enjoying the already cooked food together. The somen would’ve become just a normal late dinner in shigure’s house. The difference is kyo pushed tohru to acknowledge her tears. She resisted first “don’t kyo, don’t force me to look deeper”. Her tears turned into excitements by the end of the night, they all shared teasing & jokes.

Tohru wants that relieved feeling again. Except she wants it without opening her heart. She refuses to peek inside & cry over herself & her fears. She associated the feeling of relief with “eating somen with friends” NOT “facing your fears & opening up, accepting help”. She knows everybody is worried abt their future. so they must go home together & share somen. How did that work out? Laughing & teasing happened. but what abt the feeling of relief ? kyo is still worried abt hurting tohru, painfully gazing at her (not relieved), tohru still wears the happy mask, pretending all is fine (not relieved). Yuki calling his mom in dark corridor & fearing her (not relieved) Brilliant writing indeed! The only one who changed positively afterwards is yuki cuz he opened his lid in next scene, peeked inside & faced it by accepting help.

Tohru’s tight shit lid:

I had previously compared kyo’s feelings/ trauma with fire that spreads fast, burn him & hurt others. His trauma is tied strongly with death (kyoko) & suicide(his mom physically & him metaphorically thro confinement). How can you put out the fire without killing it? His trauma must be dealt/healed in a way that doesn’t kill the fire. Keep the light & warmth in it by igniting kyo’s desire to live. (I can’t figure out how & it’s driving me crazy!!!). Yuki’s feelings/trauma is a kin to a flowing river, calm in the surface but can flood dangerously & destroy. How can you fix it without rendering the river into a lifeless pond? by insuring it runs/flows regularly & reaches its destination!! Always changing & moving forward (already happening).

but what abt tohru? tohru’s feelings/trauma is a kin to a tiny flower. tender & fragile, it needs warmth, light & water to grow. This flower isn’t particularly prettier than the others nor rare. But it’s precious & provides joy. One might not notice that this flower is sick from the inside until it withers & dies silently.

Tohru’s closed box has more than her mom now. It has kyo.  But why is kyo, who is a source of comfort to tohtu, is now paired with her mom’s saddest flashback?? Why can’t tohru accept loving kyo? altho tohru didn’t say it, we saw her shaken reaction to kyo’s confinement the day Akito told her & how she sought kazuma. Tohru might not have realized that kyo is her most loved one yet, but we as viewers don’t doubt it as the writer has amazingly led us thro their most normal & gradual relationship. Still it doesn’t explain why is kyo put away in tohru’s box along with kyoko’s haunting flashback & falling deep into the dark ocean of tohru’s darkest hidden thoughts?. Tohru hides pain.. why is loving kyo a pain to tohru?? why is she refusing to face her growing attachment to him?? she’s tragically lonely but she refuses to acknowledge her feelings of belonging to kyo?? could it be cuz she’s denying herself selfish desires? she doesn’t see herself worthy for him? tohru has often looked down on herself. Could it be thoru is scared of loving kyo? scared of being abandoned?? scared of changing herself? Weird!!!!!!I need More tohru!!!!

Side Notes:

Tohru’s story keeps getting more complicated emotionally in ways I haven't anticipated & I love it!! altho I don’t really get the part of fearing to love kyo?? it’s a bit weird since tohru has a loving nature. but hope to learn why soon.

kyo asks hana if she can read his heart with her waves. Also kyo openly stares fondly at tohru right in front of hana & co. boy is so preciously lovesick! XD.

Shigure is right. tohru isn’t his responsibility. Him providing support for her is already enough from a non-relative. I love his brash honesty.

Shigure/Mayu scene is the best comedy. I love their dynamics.

Kazuma’s “Its fine if you take as long as the others” is such inspiring line. It spoke to my heart! finding your future isn’t a competition!! It reinforces furuba’s brilliant message of everybody having their own pace. just cuz yuki is moving fast & healthy towards his future, doesn’t mean the others are less worthy for fearing a future or not finding the way to begin with. Everybody moves in different speed cuz they’re different ppl with different character traits, trauma. Also, foreshadowing!. Kyo’s lid will be opened last. Bring it on kyoko!

Is Aya the first sohma to get his happy ending/full redemption/achieved goal? YUP! fitting for Mr. Most-Confident!

Yuki’s conference scene is one of the well-directed, gives me hopes for tohru’s future dark story, but also it could mean the director is saving their craziest dramatic animation/adventures/experiments for her.. yikes!!!! plz NO.

Kyoko being a dotting mom, role model, gang member, cool friend & a chilling haunting ghost is brilliant story-telling!

tohru literally drawn in the sky after yuki saying ” you’re like the sky” is too much. lol.. but I’ll let it pass, it’s minor.

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

[hirokiyuu]

3, 4, 7, 16, 17, 19?

3.  What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

GOD okay. ok ok ok ok ive had a few concepts of a futuristic violence and fancy suits inspired futago au where shido as a hyper rich capitalist dies and futaba inherits everything so goro goes to get her with no ulterior motives whatsoever :) and naturally everything goes to shit bc he was shidos hitman etc etc and like. the reveal where it comes out that he was taking her to try and get the inheritance is one i thought abt a LOT........... but im never going to write this au so uh. u kno.

slightly unhinged goro + freaked out but trying futaba is a fun dynamic. i really like these two together can u tell (looks at pef)

4.  Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

“You never get tired of coming out here,” Nazuna said, once, the summer that Shuu was sixteen. That year had been hotter than most, but even ice cream and air conditioning hadn’t been enough to keep Shuu indoors, not when he could sit with his feet in the river and watch water run over Nazuna’s perfect toes.

“Of course not,” Shuu said, tilting his head up with a sniff. Nazuna’s mask was resting on the side of his head, red eyes watching Shuu from beneath delicate blond eyelashes. “The only thing of worth in this place is you.”

Nazuna laughed at that. The trees left the light falling on him like stardust, gold dappling the lines of his jaw. “You’re so ridiculous.”

“I’m only telling the truth.”

A splash of water; Shuu yelped and tilted back on instinct, flailing as he tipped over. Twigs in his hair, dirt on his clothes, laughter in his ears, Shuu watched the leaves above catch in the faintest possible breeze and thought to himself, Oh, I’m in love. It was not a surprise. He’d known for years. It was just that the word had never come knocking before.

from in the fireflies’ forest!!! i really like this entire fic a lot tbh wwww i spent a lot of time experimenting w/mood and feeling here and i’m really proud w/how ti came out.......... in terms of like. atmospheric pieces i have this is probably one of if not my strongest wwwww

7.  What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

HM i think atmosphere is where im strongest. in terms of like? conveying the mood and tone of the scene and the characters emotions thru small things.......... almo has definitely made comments to this effect before so i think so WWWWWW

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

www recently ive been writing a lot of ffxiv, which basically means i’m writing a lot of oc stuff? it’s odd after going so ahrd on fanfic for so long bc it’s like. there’s no canon i have to adhere to. i mean there’s Some canon but mostly its just like. flings spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks u kno

17.  Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

me, thinking abt the recent pef commenter who asked if ren was also back in time: h a h

realtalk pef is big and popular enough that i Know there are ppl missing my intentions which is.......... odd. i dont necessarily mind but its still weird. actually ive had this happen on non pef things but it’s still weird u kno. pef is just the most visible one wwwwww

i think the biggest surprise is that................. i don’t like futago half-sibs theory GHLKSDHGLKDHG i kno its p popular in futaba+goro fan circles but like. its so boring to me. adds nothing to their dynamic. so much of ftb’s journey is learning to love her New family (ren n sojiro) and having her suddenly Forgive Akechi for Being Her Half Sib is so weird to me. i think there’s potential to explore the concept in an interesting manner tbh (poitns at a certain doc i got) but like. 99% of the time i dont like it

19.  Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

god sometimes almond makes me ctrl+f words that they think pop up in pef and theyre always right. it kills me a little bit. goro sighs a lot. goro bites back sighs a lot. i try to pass some of the things off as stylistic choices but sometimes im just tired

in terms of tropes tho i have a memory loss au for like. every ship ive ever liked. sometimes multiple. im just too embarrassed to ever post but u kno

[emsartwork]

ask dump! Separated loosely by topic 

Questions and Comments

1. is this a homestuck thing. this is a homestuck thing isnt it  2. lol i love doing both!!! i love world building but i also like trying my hand at redesigning the mess that is canon fashion. @theoretical-artist​ 3. thank you!!! oritel and marion are in this post! 4. ayyyyy inginio hit me up (thank you lol) 5. Thank you! 6. maybe? i’ll see if i get around to it, i still have a few characters to get to so the school fairies and the last two selkies might show up with them 7. probably not.... it would be super fun but unless it was a commission i don’t feel like i have time haha 8. I’ve seen their blog around!! i can’t remember if i follow or not but i know who ur talking about and they cool @winxy-writing @winxys-written-world

Character and Worlbuilding

1. My brilliant nerd daughter!!! She sometimes gets so into coding or a video game she forgets to eat or drink so the girls watch out for her. She’s prone to dissociating, especially if the situation is emotional. Her hair is really soft. she actually loves sappy romantic things but has trouble accepting them or vocalizing that she wants them because they’re impractical/illogical. she discovered romcoms when she got to alfea and they are her ultimate guilty pleasure(only flora knows abt this and is always slipping recs to her) 2. They’re weirdly one of my fav couples??? like maybe its because i relate to and have projected onto both of them lmao. but any ways. Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. they like to watch reality tv together and yell at dramatic people. 3. omg yes. this was the most frustrating thing i was watching through winx with my dad like a month ago and every time bloom called her adoptive parents by their first names i yelled at her lol. she would call Vanessa mama and Mike daddy(if you make a kink joke i will eat your liver). She would call Marion and Oritel mom and dad.  4. Yeah kind of! part of her exhaustion in Dowlland was the fact that she had been in fairy mode for so long, hiking underground, and tossed around in a river like??? anybody would need a pick me up after that. She (and all solarians) do have to live where there’s a lot of natural light as they require a high amount of vitamin d(or the equivalent of it for solarians). short trips usually aren’t a problem, Stella is just hella unlucky in the second season lmao. @moonpeachblossom 5. the short answer as to why she’s a blond (scottish??? in one of the dubs???) in an asian inspired culture/planet is because racism (or not so short bcus its a lot to unpack honestly). the answer in my version however is a pretty simple fix. She bleaches her hair. she’s paler than musa but she aint white.  6. I haven’t really yet!! Helia is struggling with his two fairly opposed cultural influences, trying to figure what he wants and whats right for him. He was raised on Lynphea but had frequent trips to Vaonaa. Lynphea is very grounded, they’re slow and steady and stubborn. Vaonaa is much more flexible, they’re flighty and spontaneous and easily adaptable. Helia’s dads love eachother and helia very much but they are VERY different people and both want different things from Helia(they try not to pressure too much but the expectations are still there). Helia’s Vaonaaj dad wants him to pursue magic, specifically wind or air magic. Helia’s Lynphean dad wants him to become a warrior. Helia feels like he’s kind of a misfit in both Vaonaaj and Lynphean culture. It took a while, but he did finally confide his feelings in Flora and she encouraged him to talk with his dads about finding his niche.  7. oooooooh fun fun relationshipsssss Bloom and Sky: so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. I do believe that with better writing Sky and bloom could be a dope couple but as is in canon they’re VERY problematic.  Stella and Brandon: babies. they love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take brandon’s complements in a less.... arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. i wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. Flora and Helia: MORE BABIES. so Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. if i can remember correctly they don’t even really fight??? unless icy has frozen helia’s heart or something lol. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space and each other.   Musa and Riven: boy oh boy. Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. I think my major problem with how they broke up was that Musa didn’t support Riven’s training? like i understand being upset you can’t see ur person often, or if they’re really busy, but Riven supported Musa’s music several times in the previous seasons it just seemed weird Musa was so unfairly demanding of him? Tecna and Timmy: nerd babies. They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Aisha and Nabu: ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obvi not in a restricting way. its just Aisha is hella active and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on.  Aisha and Nex: i actually don’t hate nex as much as the rest of the fandom lol. so like i said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there.   8. well. canon is a little..... messy. My version of the girls definitely retain their individualism. for other differences... they’re just a little more fleshed out? i guess? like Bloom’s moody behavior in the show i think is because of her insecurity issues, so that plays a part in how i draw her and think of her.  9. ok wow this is gonna be tough well here we go Sky: I think sky is an ESTJ he’s not super emotional(inf Fe) but can lean toward controlling(dom Te). he seems to like tradition and think social promises are important(Si). Brandon: ESFJ. Brandon is the mom friend of the boys ok. He goes along with sky’s crazy plans, tries to subtly set Riven up with musa(season 1 i think?), some how managed to land a social butterfly like Stella and seems to just navigate social situations REALLY easily(dom Fe). he also seems to hate being disrespected or taken for granted(Si) stella does this occasionally.  Timmy: ISFJ???? thats the vibe i get hear me out ok so in season 2 Timmy gets tecna the exact computer part she needs because 1. He knows they both like things to be practical(Si) 2. He knows and remembered the part she was talking about and filed it away in his brain(Ti) and 3. He and Tecna bonded over tech (Fe) Riven: honestly he’s a tough one.... Maybe a really stunted and angry ISFJ? (speaking from personal experience i am an ISFJ) i don’t have a real reason why but riven’s behavior is really confusing in the show so it makes typing tough..... possibly INTJ as well....... Helia: ISFP. Lmao I might be basing this entirely off of stereotypes but helia has a strong pacifist belief and can be moody(Fi, and more in the comics lol) is attuned to his surroundings(Se) seems pretty focused??(Ni) and i can’t think of his Te showing up be it is an inferior  Nabu: ISTJ weirdly a good fit with Aisha(ESTP) tho?? even though he’s an Si dom, he doesn’t go along with the arranged marriage because its not what he believes(Fi) and he’s stubborn about it(Te). Roy: ENFJ honestly just a cutie. He’s personable(Fe), focused for the most part(Ni), and is comfortable in his environment(Se).  Nex: ENTP? maybe?? He’s pretty impulsive and has that “work around” mentality I associate with ENTPs.... idk this one doesn’t seem to fit super well...  Thoren: Maybe INFJ?? i mean thoren honestly doesn’t have a lot of screen time but he’s attentive(Ni), and tries to take care of people(Fe). most of the infj’s i know are fun but weird lol, but i think thoren has anxiety so that could play into him being less “out there” in his behavior.  if any of yall have input on this feel free to let me know. 10. ooooooh good question. So I’m basing these on their parent’s name and the names of people from their planet. Bloom: Hestia or Enya, i also think she got sent to earth with an article of clothing or a blanket that had her name on it, which is why her name is the same lmao Stella: Stella is actually named pretty appropriately considering the other names we have are Luna, Radius, Nova, Chimera, and Casandra, all of those are fairly latin/roman based names.  but she could also be called Clara, Aura, Venus etc. Musa: Her mom and dad have very asian sounding names but the princess of melody is named Galatea, so honestly anything is on the table. Aulos, Hee-Young, Jia Li, Kaida, etc. Tecna: lol everybody on Zenith has ridiculous names so im just loosely basing them off of sciencey stuff. Nobelia, Xenon, Titania. Aisha: I actually really like Aisha’s name! Ayize, Sizani, Mehrbano would work tho. Flora: what even is the naming system of Lynphea i don’t understand it. Im gonna make them vaguely naturey and European-ish?? Calla, Terra, Rowan, Willow, I could go on and on there are so many plant names. 11. Hmmm yeah, so basically in my world a person with TOO MUCH magic gets overwhelmed and kinda goes a little crazy(the ancestral witches) the same thing happens with tritannus when he gets the emperor's throne power. He’s loyal to icy and she to him until he looses his ability to think clearly and turns on icy, icy gets freaked out and leaves with her sisters when they swoop in to rescue her. they don’t so much “break up” as they are “broken up” by the circumstances. In general Tritannus does really like Icy, hes attracted to her ambition and powerful personality. Icy started out just manipulating Tritannus but caught feelings oops 12. Yeah so, humans in general can withstand a lot of wild magic as their body “metabolizes” it quickly. Kalshara(the cat lady you don’t know the name of) used extremely concentrated samples, combined with other spells to keep the wild magic in her body permanently. If a human with out a properly developed magic biome (a lot of earthians only have a low functioning one) get exposed to a wild magic source they would probably gain some aspects of fairy animals, probably not like, fur, or anything but eye and hair color changes, maybe some patterns on the skin. but there’s also the chance that they would just.... die..... cus that happens with animals too lmao sry. @weirdghostly

[euphoriecs]

11/11/11 tag !!!

thank u sm for tagging me @yikescomma​, @buckaroowrites​ nd @yikeskimi​ !!!

rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people !

under the cut bc its a Lotta questions KSKSKSHK

yikescomma’s questions!!

1. what’s your favourite place to write?

oh this is ?? kind of a tough one bc i feel like i never Branched out in my spaces when it comes 2 being productive,, like a lot of my work is done in my bedroom just bc my desk is there and it’s the most convenient,,,, honestly im jus gonna say my favorite place to write would be from . my desk . bc it faces the window :-)

2. which character(s) from your wip(s) is your favourite?

since i only have wtsf confidently worked out ,, i’ll use those ocs !! but i think , quite Honestlie ,,, that wendy is my favorite character !! im rly in love with how she progresses as a person nd also she’s jsut . she gets it u know .

3. what are some inspirations for your wip(s)?

I TALKED ABT THIS BEFORE but b/ts’ hyyh series, my neighborhood, spring day by b/ts are a few inspirations for wtsf !!! 

4. how did you start writing?

my dad got me hooked on reading when i was really really young !! and being able to read abt all these huge worlds nd being given an opportunity 2 fall in love w them rly inspired me to want to write worlds of my own . plus , i watch a lot of different shows nd animes that feed into my daydreams nd sometimes im like ‘yo,,, that was a good daydream,,,,, time 2 story it’ .

5. which of your ocs is most difficult to write?

uHGHHGHGS ARTHUR ...... trying to capture this like . enigmatic feeling while keeping close 2 his reasons for acting That way is actually ,, rly hard?? hes a tough cookie 2 crack but i will crack it .

6. what aesthetic do you associate with your wip(s)?

for wtsf ,,, quiet towns , lonely beaches , sunset nd sunrise ,,, running through the streets ?? 

7. do you like planning?

YEA !! i see it more as like . being able to explore ur wip and what directions it can take nd its also jsut rly helpful to have a solid foundation .

8. what is your favourite quote from your wip(s)?

i pulled this from my drabbles but: “Slow down.” Wendy grabbed Arthur’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the sand. “This world can’t keep up with you.”

9. do you like to listen to music while you write?

yes and no ?? im very particular to the kind of music im listening to nd more often than not, i write in complete silence ,,, but sometimes i’ll find a song that i feel rly fits the vibe of what im writing nd i just put it on repeat HGSHJK

10. what do you like most about your own writing?

i think i like the descriptive aspects of it ?? like how i describe places nd feelings ,,,, :-) !

11. what are/were/would be your ocs favourite subjects in school?

everyone except piper in wtsf is graduated from high school but ,, wendy liked english class the best bc it was fun nd she got good grades !! rafael definitely loved psychology nd took it at an ap level ,, arthur liked math nd chemistry .. chemistry he liked More bc he got 2 blow stuff up SKKSKSEH and piper likes world history!! tho shes not good at it . but she likes it!!

buckaroowrites’ questions!!

what is your favorite subgenre to write? to read?

i lov urban fantasy and low fantasy JGHDSHGJKS like its my favorite to write nd read bc like .. o heck ?? ghosts nd ghouls nd just overall supernatural stuff irl ?? that’s the way 2 go

if you had to be trapped on a desert island with any of your ocs, who would it be and why?

if i had 2 be trapped on a desert island ...... i’d probably choose rafael . honestlie he just seems like he always knows what’s up nd my chances of survival would increase w him JHGJKSJKS

what is your favorite medium to write?

definitely novels !! its a format i’ve pretty much grown up w and im more comfortable w this medium than any others GHSHJKS but i’d love to explore like ,, screenplays nd see where that takes me

who was your first oc?

HYLLY SHITTTT THIS BRINGS ME BACK SJHJHJGJKS i used to draw a lot back when i was younger nd so i had this oc JHJS his name was ian and he was meant for the maximum ride universe but he was a dumb dude who was 2% cat . nd he had an adopted sister ,, i forgot her name but she was part bird .

what was your first wip about?

world end club is supposed 2 be abt a group of teens who work together 2 take down a corporation that wants 2 essentially control the artificial island they live on thru engineered soldiers . ITS A CONCEPT ,, nd it requires a little Too Much for my one brain cell to think abt

thoughts on shakespeare?

uhhh no thots bc i never read his work in high school i jus know macbeth is cursed .... wow i rly dont know anything abt shakespeare huh .

poetry or prose?

o this is TOUGH i rly adore both .......... im gonna . im gonna go w prose . i lvoe poetry so much sometimes there are lines that just rly fucken punch u in the face but im gonna go w prose bc its familiar !!

would you ever co-write a story?

nO ..... i wouldnt b able 2 compromise i’d jus b like oH ACTUALLY SKSKKS MY IDEA’S DUMB LETS JUST DO URS 

write what you want to write or write what you want to read/watch?

oh . fuc .... i feel like its important to have a good balance of both but . honestlie im very partial to what i want to read/watch ..

do you like to write violence?

i dont Like 2 write it but its In My Wips !

what is your favorite trope?

oH ,, probably ‘fire forged friends’ or like . mutual pining ... i have too many favorite tropes nd somehow im gonna incorporate them all .

yikeskimi’s questions!!

Tell us about the main character(s) in your current WIP!

oKAY SO im gonna try to not make this too long SJKHJGS !! wendy is a very like . prickly character . shes like a cactus . nd she’s not too fond of letting ppl get close, but the ppl who do manage to get close to her are happie 2 learn she would actually die for them . loyalty is a Huge Huge part of her character, and she cares very deeply abt the people she calls family . shes also v sarcastic nd like . ‘open ur eyes dummy’ .

arthur is a kind of person who lives heavily on false pretenses . like he projects this image bc its an image that he can control nd he jsut Rolls w it , but hes actually someone who likes 2 tease his friends nd be friendly to them ,, hes got Issuez nd is very much the type of person to be like ‘o lol im ok :-)...’ nd prioritize the needs of others 

rafael is , in all honesty , just babey . he studied a lot during high school nd rly pushed himself beyond his limits bc he wants to be able 2 go 2 a good college on scholarship nd get a job 2 support his family , nd hes just ?? very responsible nd sweet but that can also manifest into him taking on more than he should nd burning out . 

piper is a very ,, honestlie kinda sad character kjHGJSJ she spends a lot of time just trying 2 appeal to other ppl bc she knows her interest in the supernatural make her a ‘weird’ person nd she wants to be able 2 have real friends ,, but when she learns 2 let go of this she’s very silly nd always making jokes During The Right time ..

Do you have an all time favorite OC? Tell us about them!

hMMMM i dont think i do ??? my memory of my ocs is rly bad JHSJ so more often than not i just ,, rip i dont remember them </3

If you could be best friends with one of your OCs, who would it be and why?

ms piper chaiyathan !!!! shes a very open nd kind individual nd i feel like our humor nd joking style would match V v v well !!!

Last line you’ve written in your WIP?

Wendy, unlike her brothers Adam and Nate, had inherited her father’s rough touch, and that made them both unwanted in the high stakes setting of a diner kitchen.

If you have a chosen title for your WIP, were there any titles you considered before it? And if not, what are some titles you’re thinking of?

when the sun falls went through SO many titles nd i actually have them all here: where the sun goes / fever dreams / above the sun / where the sun follows / the drowned sun ... as u can see the sun was smth i Needed .

What is an important element in the world your WIP takes place in?

uHHHH the supernatural element is . Very important but i cant be too specific about it but i will tell u it involves a dead tree on the beach .

Tell us an out of context spoiler.

arthur gets a cool new set of eyes.

Any power couples/ships in your WIP?

wendy nd arthur babey ,,,,,, bat nd molotov cocktail duo ,,,, last name central until the important moment nd THEN they use each other’s first names ..

Any music you like listening to while you write?

uHHHH specifically for wtsf i listen 2 a lot of hozier, lorde, conan gray, khalid nd halsey :-)

What would your main character(s) favorite song be?

oH okay i got this in the BAG ... wendy’s favorite song would Absolutely be work place by hozier or more than sorrow by a-lin ,,, arthur would definitely b listening 2 like . free spirit by khalid .. piper, since she p much spent all of middle school nd 2 years of high school in thailand ,, i think she’

Which character in your WIP could you relate to the most?

honestly? all of them !!! a lot of the characters in wtsf have little bits nd pieces of me bc thats how all my ocs come into existence nd theres no One character thats like “oh,,, das me”

and here are my 11 questions !!

Which one of your OCs do you think could survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?

What’s something you’ve been itching to write about?

Share the last paragraph you wrote!

Do you prefer coming up with plots or characters? Why?

Do you have any abandoned WIPs? Tell us about them!

What are some favorite themes/tropes to write about?

How do you get into the zone for writing?

Tell us a random fact for any of your OCs !!!

Are you someone who needs a visual for your WIPs?

What are some influences to your writing style?

If you had to be a character in one of your WIPs, which WIP would it be and what role would you play?

i’m gonna tag @babyreeds @holotones @alejandroistyping @noloumna @faerisms @omniawrites @aslanwrites @ashesconstellation @thegrievingyoung @glittcrpeach @syposium !!! no pressure to do it if u dont want to tho <3

[aegissi]

50 questions tag 💕

I was tagged by @sophrosynes (this took me like a month im sorry)

1. what takes up too much of your time? definitely social media n looking at kpop stuff or youtchube videos :////

2. what makes your day better? nowadays the only thing that will always lift my mood is working out bc of all those chemicals

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? i procrastinated today so i didn’t do much sjgvdfhdbk i did an arm workout tho and it was so satisfying to be able to do all the moves without a break bc it shows that im getting stronger n i luv that

4. what fictional place would you like to go? the house in my neighbor totoro bc it just looks nice and peaceful

5. are you good at giving advice? i think i am but ultimately the receiver decides if the advice was indeed good or not 

6. do you have any mental illness? hahahahahahhaa yea maybey probably im seeing a therapist anyway

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no it sounds very intriguing tho n i was surprised that so many people experienced it 

8. what musician inspired you the most? epik high and 2ne1 :(((

9. have you ever fallen in love? nah i don’t think so,, im more of a “intricate daydreams abt romantic scenarios that won’t ever happen” type girl

10. what’s your dream date? roberta im litcherally the same sjgdvfjbhk so yea museum or art gallery and then going to a place to talk,, i think a picnic would be nice too??

11. what do others notice about you? well first off they notice im #asian asfhjdg and also like my eyes i think? especially if i put on makeup (tbh i don’t even think that people notice things abt me)

12. what is the annoying habit you have? i always hum or sing-song randomly,, i personally don’t find it annoying but maybe others would ig

13. do you still talk to your first love? my first crush is a business major now so no lmaooo

14. how many ex’s do you have? zero

15. how many songs are on your playlist? 182 on my current tunes playlist but i have like 30 playlists in total

16. what instruments can you play? none unfortunately :// (i want to learn gayageum tho bc it sounds cool)

17. who do you have the most pictures of? 80% of my phone galleries are selfies bc i Love Myself

18. where would you like to go before you die? i want to go to a place where there’s a lot of snow n it’s really white n quiet

19. what is your zodiac? capricorn babey!!

20. do you relate to it? yea im very earthy n i like money

21. what is happiness to you? being at peace and not worrying,,, just being in the moment n enjoying it to its fullest

22. are you going through anything right now? yea but a bitch is gonna survive as always

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? i don’t really remember and i don’t even want to bc thats not useful to my growth

24. what’s your favorite store? there’s a vintage store i really like and also artbox in korea,,, they have so much stuff i almost bought the whole stationary section

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? it should be as safe as possible for the people who choose to have one 

26. do you keep a bucket list? yea but i always forget what i put on it anyway and i end up remaking it every year rsgjbjkf i do have a bucket list for the month tho!! 

27. do you have a favorite album at the moment? not really i feel like it’s been a while since i last listened to an album in its entirety 

28. what do you want for your birthday? a hair straightener bc my bangs are currently out of control

29. what are most people’s first impression of you? i have no idea honestly but i think it’s mostly good? but i can appear kinda distant bc i am quite distant if im not feeling the person 

30. what age do you seem according to most people? i look my age tbh i’ve never had anyone give me more at least

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? on my desk or charged near my bed

32. what word do you say the most? uuuuhh idk but i write “okey” a lot by texts shfdbhkf

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? like 22?? i don’t like huge age gaps

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? people born in december 2000 sjbhkdb otherwise ur babey

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? one of my best friends used to tell me i would be a good therapist but i feel like thats bc im a good listener?? other than that idk (i asked my parents once n they were like. just do what u want zjvhjgbfk thats not helpful!!!)

36. what’s your favorite music genre? the type of music they put in chill study music playlists on youtube honestly (and also anything that sounds gay. i luv disco sm u guys don’t even know)

37. if you could live in any country in the world where would it be? korea bc i need yakult and karaokes

38. what is your current favorite song? shine by pentagon bc i relate to the lyrics now sgdbkjfnkjb

39. how long have you had this blog for? uuuhh i wanna say 2 years??

40. what are you excited for? my paris trip with my friends!!!!!!! 

41. are you a better talker or listener? im a good listener but i luv talking bc i luv attention,,,, but im also not very eloquent most of the time??? so im gonna go with listener

42. what is the last productive thing you did? not 2 repeat myself again but working out (im a jock i tell u)

43. what do you want for christmas?  money would be nice

44. what class do you get the best grades in? according to my exam results it’s english but i had good grades in physics in hs and also in literature

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a solid 4.5

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? in a nice apartment with lots of plants and wearing a long white dress while playing the ukulele to my flower bouquets

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? ay it’s always been broken fellas 🤠🤠 if we wanna get more specific i’d say first year of high school during my first friendship breakup

48. at what age do you want to get married? honestlé? i don’t wanna get married,, to me it just seems like another thing to be trapped in and i value my independance too much

49. what career did you want to have as a child?  i wanted to be a vet bc i loved animals!! i also wanted to be a jedi too but thats smth else entirely 

50. what do you crave now? affection/purpose/peace/blueberry muffin/tteokbokki with cheese

im tagging: @1fancafe @twejoon @ilovemeghan @flowerene @scy @rainmv @jinseas (idk who did this already but ignore if u want to sgjdbgkfn)

[shoutylove]

Hannah Banana

Jiiic,

idk how to start this since it’s been so long since I’ve written a letter or anything, and the last time I did it was for my parents and it was because of how yk, during retreats, they make you write letters and such. I’m also not sure how I’m supposed to do this, if I should do it kind of “formally” or not and I’ve decided I’d write you this way. Raw, unpolished and with thoughts all over the place bc I feel that in this way, I’d be more able to express myself or tell you what I want to say to you, tho it doesn’t mean that if I write it formally, I don’t mean it or anything, it’s just that it feels kind of rehearsed and too much edited and I’d like this to be just light.

Anyways, you know what I like so much about you? It’s how thoughtful and caring you are. I find that so sweet of you and I’m thankful that I have you in my life. I guess I could say I’m a fan of you for that (aside from your amazing fashion style, modelling and photography skills) I admire that quality of yours so much and that if I were to get one quality or trait from each of my friends, then yours, it would be your thoughtfulness and care towards the people you love, and I want to be like that too. It’s really much appreciated and it brightens up our days.

You always managed to do that and to me, you’re like a rainbow with all its beautiful colors, you (as cliché as it sounds) always add color to our days spent together, you make the day and memories so vibrant. You as a person and your personality is just so beautiful and colorful and I am amazed with your creativity and the effort you give. Thank you for sharing and letting us witness your creativity. I remember when we were talking about the plots for our supposed to be Collab fanfic, we were so excited about it. At first, I just thought it would be just that, a plan and all but then you actually did it. You wrote the first chapter and srsly I loved it, it was amazing and well written which actually got me intimidated. I remember you went to Venture so you could send it to us and unfortunately, the story just died. I feel bad because your effort and creativity has been wasted, but I’m sorry I couldn’t continue it because (aside from work and other stuff) I didn’t know how I’m supposed to continue it bc it was well written and I was afraid the next chapter would make it flop. I’m sorry. But yeah, that was just one of your beautiful creations and recently, what me and my sister have been enjoying is your latest work. We love it and I believe I’ve told you abt it already too, how the video, the interior design and the characters back story (+ their names) are all chef’s kiss.

Oh, and this too I’d like to add to the quality or trait that you have that I’d like to get and be like that. Idk what’s it called but you having the ability to not lose your spark or inspiration for your creativity despite time and reality’s cruelty is something that I’d like to learn too. I hope you continue and get all the chance you have to keep doing it, to keep doing what you enjoy and love. Don’t let the world dull your sparkle (I guess it was something like that, but yes, keep shining love) and if anyone tells you otherwise or criticize what you do or what you want or what you decide, just don’t mind them. Keep doing what makes you happy and as long as yk, it wouldn’t hurt or harm anyone in anyway, put yourself first, don’t let anyone hold you down.

To my dear friend who has a beautiful and colorful soul, take care always. Times maybe tough right now with not being able to do what we normally do because of the pandemic, and not being able to meet each other and instead, we’re only seeing and talking thru the screens with our loved ones, but I’d like you to know that despite all that, I’m always here for you, and I’d ride a habal-habal all over again for you if you need me to be there.

I love you.

xoxo, H

[taeslut]

stay with me in 2017

isnt that cute my title kind of rhymes but hello it is me again and this is more or less my (unofficial) 2nd appreciation post bc its a new year and i thought why not also pls ignore my lack of banner i decided to do this on a whim and i honestly cant wait for my photoshop to start up so (and this is in no order at all):

@hwangsae: my dude no need to worry about ur hermitting we understand and we are a ok just as long as you dont completely forget about us. thank you for helping 2016 be less shitty than it was and i treasure our shits n giggles in form time and english. youre always a riot to be with and its literally never boring with you and thanks for always making cheesecake with me; lets hope there are many more cheesecakes in the future (maybe even one where we use an actual cake tin), im sorry for encouraging a certain someone to talk to you to sort his shit out but no worries if he does anything else imma kick his skinny ass for u. i adore your art (bUT IM STILL RGHWJKDF U DIDNT LET ME KNOW I WAS ONLY THE 89TH AND 90TH NOTE) and i will continue to support you in your art and also whatever you decide to do in the future but i do really hope you join me in classics next year. i cant believe how lucky i am that i met you and we’ve maintained our friendship to this point and its gonnA BE SO FRICKIN GREAT WHEN WE GO TO BALL THIS YEAR IM SO HYPED and im so glad we can share moments like that together. i hope youre not too gutted about your math score bc u can always resit and at least you didnt fail which is always good. i have literally so many things i could say about u n our friendship like ur dispatch level photos of me and youre tendency to eat messily especially sushi but i have other ppl to write about too so i will keep this short and let u kno i appreciate u and love u very very much. youre my best friend and here’s to another (hopefully) great fucking year.

@gooseapartment: even tho u have dubbed me with less than ideal nicknames i am nevertheless grateful for your friendship (s/n: i typed out grateful as greatful at first and i stared at it like this isnt right and i had to stare at it for 5 minutes before i understood). even tho i FUCKING HATED AS MATHS ARUHRGJWUGHI you made it more bearable and easier to understand with your chinese lessons. im sososo happy you have gotten into kpop this year as i have yet another friend i can yell with. even though your jokes are lame and i never laugh at your puns, i still appreciate you so so much and idk how id survive in chem without you next to me (especially considering the people we sit with aside from sophia). our conversations are diverse and never really boring and i love hearing about your sunflowers and other plants and your art and drawings and plans for a yt channel and your art blog that u havent posted on and your different jisoos (how is that going btw). i honestly wouldnt have survived in china without you and thank you so much for keeping in contact with me n using wechat bc china hates google n fb. you are such an incredibly strong and inspiring person and i hope you have the best time on camp (even tho u have less than ideal ppl to do it with LOL). i really really hope you come to ball this year because it wouldnt be the same without :((( thanks for being a part of my life for the past 3 years and lets make it a great 4th

@yixmg: its amazing how we have become so close in such a short amount of time and i am so grateful to have met you and gotten the chance to talk to you and realise that no u r quite different from what i thought but in a good way and thank you for putting up with me for basically the whole year last year with me n serena constantly coming over and thank you for listening to me n my problems n my bitching abt certain people. youre hilarious and one of my favourite people to hang around and i frickin love your vines so much i am sad for you that vine closed down :(((( i hope you dont stop making vines even tho u said u might or take up something like filmography or smth idk but you are so talented and i am jealous. its sad we wont be in the same classics class but i wish you luck with your subjects next year (as is a bitch). ur constant love and support for yixing is so cute and admirable (especially bc i am a slut who changes ults every other day) and i love how rapline is rapline and also (current) exom. it makes me happy how whenever we hang out it always involves food and i hope we can go to sura again and study @ the library and hopefully find a spot this time. i am in a constant state of jealousy at the amount of boys u get dang i wish i couldve walked under cherry blossoms w jshaw :((( i love how hardworking you are and im sososo lucky that i got to be one of your friends. i also used ur pen u gave me for math mocks in my eoy exams and ya girl got an a in english so i also have that to thank you for. lets hope we have many more food outings this year along w korean n chinese movies. thanks for being a part of my life and for making 2016 less shitty for me bay-hope :))))

@pixelatedphysiognomy: hoe thanks for all the hoe posts this past year and extra thanks for the dog posts they are one of the few constants in my sad life and i appreciate them very much. i love how i can tell u abt things that made me angry and you will also get angry. i forgot how the whole hoe things started but i am glad it happened because i dont think we really had the awkward first stages of friendship (but correct me if im wrong lol ) i enjoy talking to u about cartoons and the conversations where we exchange “hoe” for days is something i hold dear to my heart. even tho juniors are annoying u are one of the few (ie 3) that i wouldnt mind being friends with. maybe this year ill join the chess club and become chess grandmaster n if i really wanted to get into the role i know a guy to get some of the good shit. thank you for being a part of my 2016 and i hope you stay for the future years for more than just my licence. also i hope 2017 is the year u come to terms with your hoeing.

@yueu: i didnt know which one to tag so i am tagging the newest one. you are one of the cutest people i know and i love ur out of nowhere questions without any context. thank you for being my awkward bean friend this year and i hope we can become closer in the coming year. i love your art so much and you are so talented and i hope you never stop making art and become famous so i can be Famous By Association. you, much like my only other y10 friends, have become such a big and important part of my life considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other and im so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. i hope we can have a great 2017 together and u get all the bread in the world

@seokjinhoney: i havent talked to u in aaaages omg and i know you are on hiatus but thank you so much for being a part of my life. it was so cool to meet someone like you online and its crazy to find out we’re in the same country and meeting you was so frickin cool. youre such a lovely person and i hope we have more time to talk this year

@hmuhansol: rylee u r one of the coolest people i have met this year. even tho its only been like a few months since we started talking we’re already p close considering we were strangers before. i think its so cool how interest you are in maths n science and i hope everything with your school goes well and u get your job witht he fancy name i have 0 capability of remembering bc i am Dumb As Heck. i hope my package arrives soon and i hope you like it even tho it isnt much but i hope we get closer in 2017 and we can laugh even more abt the memeability of svt

ofc there are more people and im sorry if ive forgotten anyone ive also gotten close to this year but these r my top picks n bffs also excuse me for being sappy n my bad grammar and spelling

i hope everyone has the best 2017 and also for trump to be impeached