#its sweet as hell bc this man would. not. do that for anybody else
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shadystranger · 6 months ago
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Balthazar was right when he asked if he stole any kisses. That's not the face of a man i would trust to not have stolen any kisses
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belphieslilcow · 3 years ago
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Oh man your Obey mMe heat hcs are awesome. I don’t know about anybody else but I’d definitely love to see some for the other characters (minus Luke bc he’s baby)
aww thank you!! I'm glad you like them ^^
Breeding The Side Dateables!!
same stuff as before, the boys got pussies and mc has a dick but can be bio/magic/strap-on/etc !!
Dia, being royalty, I think has like an inherent breeding kink, wanting to make a successful lineage and all that, it just makes his heats all that more intense!! any demon within like a three mile radius can tell when he's in heat by his scent
hes a big man and can take a pounding for sure!! feel free to be as rough as you can possibly want, stick your cock in him, bury your face in those glorious tits of his and absolutely destory his royal cunt, overstim him with as many orgasms he can fit in his cream filled pussy and ravish him until you physically can't anymore, he's got stamina thats for sure so while barbatos is helping you rest and clean up for the next round, dia is still in his bed, shoving the largest dildo he owns in his dripping cunt
Barb works so hard all the time, I think he deserves to be spoiled a bit with as many orgasms as he can possibly handle, especially when in such a needy and desperate space, honestly he probably still tries to do his work while in heat, the whole time thinking how the duster handle would feel pounding his sopping cunt, having to frequently stop his tail tips from sliding over his swollen and puffy pussy
he pretty good at just having quick masturbation sessions throughout the day, but once you're together? he practically cums at the mere thought of getting bent over the counter while his cupcakes bake like the good malewife he is <3
one year diavolo caught him grinding against the dryer when doing laundry and barb is still Mortified about to this day
Simeon doesn't get heats normally, but maybe because of all the time he's spending in the devildom, some of the demonic magic got to him and whoops he's quite literally now horny as hell
he at first wrote it off when his mind kept wandering as he was daydreaming about a potential story idea, but soon came to find out he just couldn't get sex out of his mind and while he's no stranger to masturbation, he's never had sex before and especially not the kind of sex that leaves his throbbing cunt filled to the brim with your cum, he can't help smushing his face into his pillow as he reaches down, inserting two of his long, nimble fingers in his slick, awaiting pussy
that night you're greeted at your bedroom door by a desperate simeon who can't keep his thighs from rubbing together or slow down his heavy breathing, please take pity on our poor, sweet angel and fill him up good
Solomon's a human so he also doesn't get heats, but I have no doubt this horny old man has used some kinda magic/aphrodisiacs to have a fun week with himself, he always underestimates how exhausted he gets afterwards though :p
He totally uses his magic to pleasure himself too, a perverted tentacle summoning spell to stuff his pretty holes, maybe a potion to increase his stamina to go as many rounds as possible, just make sure to put some towels down, cause this man squirts buckets and just wants you to keep pounding him so there's not much time to clean up
If you were cool with it, he'd totally summon over asmo and barb for a foursome, he loves being spoiled during sex so having three of his closest friends stuff him with their fingers, tail, and cock?? Its like heaven to him, and for a bonus watching three horny subs grind on each other is 👌
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teklarn · 3 years ago
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hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')
would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.
it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33
𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾
character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 
reblogs are greatly appreciated! 
a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 
summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 
genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 
warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 
word count: 3,859 
(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 
- - - 
part 2 is here my loves <3
brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 
what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 
it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 
just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 
his leg was bouncing eagerly. 
bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 
you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 
“y/n! come look at this!” 
you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 
it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 
“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 
all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 
that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 
you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 
deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 
“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 
“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 
“holy—” 
“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 
“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 
dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 
your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 
his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 
she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 
his eyes bore into yours. 
“did you...need something?” 
your voice broke his trance. 
“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 
bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 
it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 
“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 
“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 
he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 
soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 
late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 
“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”
the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 
“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 
this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 
bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 
unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 
“shitty hair, let go of me.” 
“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 
bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 
bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 
“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 
“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 
luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 
bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 
“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 
denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 
“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 
denki sighed, slumping back. 
dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 
yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 
aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 
todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 
the brunette grinned. “great!” 
the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 
“bakugou.” 
bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 
“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 
you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 
it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 
bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 
“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 
“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 
you laughed. “what?” 
“shut up.” 
“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 
“i said shut the hell up!”
“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 
so you had heard him! 
he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 
“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 
gosh he loved that about you. 
bakugou caught his thought in the air. 
ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 
you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 
he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 
purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 
he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.  
your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 
the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 
bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 
that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 
you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 
it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 
another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 
he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 
you stood over him, hands on your hips. 
vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 
“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 
“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 
“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 
you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 
the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 
bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 
you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 
“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 
you barely grunted in response. 
“don’t ignore me.” 
“i heard you, mom.” 
“the hell did you call me?” 
no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 
“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 
“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 
it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 
the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 
“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 
you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 
“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 
“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 
“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 
“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 
“you’re annoying.” 
“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 
the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.
you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 
landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 
bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 
it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 
it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 
the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 
you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 
you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 
you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 
you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 
“fight me again,” he demanded. 
“excuse me?” 
“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 
“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 
“so?”
“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 
“you’re being stubborn.” 
“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 
“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 
“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 
bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 
“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 
-
it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 
“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 
“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 
“dude...that sounds really weird.” 
“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 
the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 
gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 
bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 
bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 
perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 
what was so...amazing about deku? 
it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 
you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 
sixty. percent.
bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 
you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 
his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 
“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 
he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 
bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 
you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 
his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 
in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 
“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 
“okay? is that it?” 
what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 
“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  
“...what?” 
gosh dammit, as friends? 
“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 
although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 
this earned a snicker from you. 
his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 
your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 
“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 
he swallowed. 
you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 
he leaned closer. “yes?” 
“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 
it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 
“oh, alright.” 
“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 
it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 
perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 
right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 
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trensu · 5 years ago
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Episode 48: The One where JGY and SS Host a Pity Party and Everyone Wishes They Hadn't
The show just dunks us right into yunmeng bro feelings again
jc's all should i get on my knees and thank you?
and wwx is like i never wanted your thanks
and now jc is just spilling his insecurities all over the place
Blah wwx was always better than him blah blah everyone liked wwx more blah blah DADDY ISSUES blah blah blah
and wwx just looks more and more hurt as all this bitterness is pouring out of his little brother 😞
i mean even jl was like hey uncle, maybe don't do that???
lwj is glaring at jc the whole time ofc
and jc gets so mad he tries to start a physical fight EVEN THO HE HAS A GAPING STAB WOUND IN THE CHEST
which is actually quite hilarious if you ignore how utterly heartbreaking the yunmeng bros relationship is
thankfully jl and lxc hold him back (not that he could've gone very far bc again GAPING STAB WOUND)
and ofc lwj has to throw in his two cents
lwj: clan leader jiang. Discretion
oh lwj, a man of few words
Oh no, ohno, oh nooooo, jc’s starting on their oath oh god
“YOU SAID THAT I WOULD BE THE CLAN LEADER AND YOU WOULD BE MY SUBORDINATE. YOU WOULD ASSIST ME FOR LIFE”
“SO WHAT IF THE TWIN JADES OF GUSU ARE THERE. WE WERE THE TWIN HEROES OF YUNMENG”
*GROSS SOBBING*
CAN I TOO GET A GAPING STAB WOUND IN THE CHEST BC I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD HURT LESS
OH GOD WWX'S EYES ARE ALL RED
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING. YOU TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE FOOL."
OH THIS HURTS SO MUCH
that last bit, tho. i can't even hold that against him bc wwx DID lie to him. he DID neglect to trust him and his judgement. 
he took jc's choice away and made it for him, and that's not cool. 
and, like, i get it, I do bc i would probably want to do the same thing wwx did if i were in a similar situation with my own siblings
BUT STILL
jc: shouldn't i hate you? can't i hate you?
WHICH REALLY JUST TELLS ME THAT HE DOESN'T HATE WWX
HE WOULD NOT BE THIS TORN UP, THIS TEARFUL MESS, IF HE DIDN'T STILL LOVE HIS BROTHER AND WANT HIM BACK
this whole time jc is inching towards wwx, getting closer and closer until he's close enough to punch him if he wanted
Jc does make a sudden sharp movement towards wwx 
Which obvs has lwj jolting forward to protect wwx
But wwx IMMEDIATELY puts a hand on lwj's knee
jin ling darts forward to hold his uncle and is like, hanguang jun, my uncle's hurt!!
BC JC IS THE ONLY NOT EVIL AND/OR DEAD FAMILY HE HAS LEFT 
AND EVEN JL KNOWS THAT LWJ IS SO VERY WILLING TO HURT ANYONE WHO HURTS WWX
I AM HAVING TOO MANY EMOTIONS
jc's angry and hurting and is like i'm not afraid of lwj, come at me bro
lwj GLARES at him, brow furrowed and mouth pinched
jc: why? why wwx? why didn't you tell me?
oh god, he's not even yelling anymore, he's just fucking crying and i'm crying and there's just wet icky tears everywhere
wwx takes a shuddery breath and tells him it's bc he didn't want to see him like this
JC: you said i would be clan leader and you would be my subordinate. you would assist me for life. you'd never betray the jiang clan. you said it yourself
HE'S NOT YELLING. HE'S NOT EVEN ANGRY
his voice is weak, and shaky, and weepy and he's just so, so hurt
AND I'M A SOBBING MESS
and wwx swallows passed the lump in his throat but his voice still sounds a bit raw when he speaks
wwx: i'm sorry. i broke my promise.
FUCK 
FUCKING HELL
MY YUNMENG BROS
jc: we've reached this point. i don't need your apology now. i'm not that delicate
STFU JC, YOU BALD-FACED LIAR, "NOT THAT DELICATE" 
YOU'RE AS MUCH OF A SOBBING WRECK RN AS I AM
GET A THERAPIST JC
"NOT THAT DELICATE" I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE IS WHAT I'M GONNA DO. GOD. NOT THAT DELICATE
JC: i'm sorry
*sobsobsobsob* MY YUNMENG BROS
wwx: don't apologize to me. that's what i owed the jiang clan.
here wwx closes the distance between them to place a hand on his brother's arm
HUG HIM GOD DAMN IT, LET MY YUNMENG BROS HAVE A PROPER HUG
wwx: as for this matter, please don't keep it in your heart.
and he goes on to say smth like i know you probably won't let go, but it's water under the bridge, that was all stuff that happened in my past life
AND THEN HE REACHES UP AND GENTLY WIPES AWAY JC'S TEARS WITH HIS THUMB
AND GIVES HIM A SWEET LITTLE SMILE
AND I'M DYING. MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH I'M DYING
I SHOULD'VE KEPT A BOX OF TISSUES NEAR ME, MY SLEEVES ARE ALL SNOTTY AND DISGUSTING NOW, DAMN IT ALL
AND THAT WAS ONLY THE FIRST 10 MIN OF THE EPISODE WTF
I’VE BEEN REDUCED TO A SNIFFLING WEEPING MESS IN 10MIN FLAT WTF 
yunmeng bro moment ends (thank god) and we cut to the next scene where nhs is oh so conveniently regaining consciousness
now all the diggers are screaming to remind us that oh yeah, there's like Plot Stuff here, it's not just about the yunmeng bros
ss gives jgy some meds bc he's hurt or smth, who gives a damn
our boys follow jgy back to the dig site for Plot Reasons
and SURPRISE!! we have nmj's no-longer-headless dead body!!
lwj and wwx look at each other like WTF??
oooooh boy, nhs gave jgy the dirtiest look
wwx is being Clever again and pointing out Plot Relevant Things 
ss gets all offended and holds wwx at sword point 
but there's lwj with bichen in its scabbard, one step in front of him and ready to block anything ss sends their way bc lwj is not gonna let wwx get hurt if he can help it
ss is all like wwx you set him up! And wwx’s face is like, i aint even bovvered
wwx: i'm saying this with all modesty, but if i were the one who set him up, i'm afraid he wouldn't have just gotten one arm hurt
HOT DAMN
LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY
and here my sunshine boy is being all Clever again and laying out all the facts and explaining how there's a 3rd party involved in all this
LOLOLOL HE'S REALLY PLAYING THIS UP FOR JGY TOO
he's like, there might be a predator behind you, the guy who's been spying on you this whole time...HE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE HUMAN
oh wwx, so Dramatic™
but hey it's working bc jgy looks spooked as hell
LOLOLOL
HE SEES JGY START FREAKING OUT AND HE LOOKS OVER TO LWJ AND GRINS AT HIM LIKE, HEY LAN ZHAN, SEE WHAT I DID, LOL, I SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS LOSER, DID YOU SEE? 
oh, now wwx and jc are bound by the wrists but not lwj, for some reason? 
Which, rude, why deny lwj the chance to be tied up? Let him try new experiences! What if he likes to be tied up? 
NOW HE’LL NEVER KNOW BC YOU DIDN’T LET HIM TRY IT
jgy and ss have a moment that i don't care about but i have to mention it
bc RIGHT AFTER we see our precious beautiful sunshine boy lean WAY into lwj's space to talk shit about them
like, seriously, just a couple inches more, and wwx would be resting his cheek on lwj's shoulder 
IT'S WONDERFUL AND I WISH HE'D GET EVEN CLOSER
shockingly, lwj is NOT as distracted as i would be having wwx that close 
bc he's studying ss and SUDDENLY SEES HE'S GOT THE HUNDRED-HOLES CURSE ON HIM 
which btw, EWW?? THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING EVER 
I REALLY WISH THEY'D STOP SHOWING IT SO MUCH BC IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL
he tells ss to turn around to get a better look and wwx sees it too!! he's like, IT WAS YOU!!!
and for the audience's benefit, nhs goes to lxc and is all what's going on???
lxc and jc gives some exposition about blah blah blah stuff we know about already
amidst all this we keep getting shots of wwx looking stunned and hurt (but still oh-so-beautiful)
wwx: jgy, i didn't do anything against you back then. we were not even that familiar. you wanted to kill jzx. why did you push that on me?
HE LOOKS SO HURT AND ANGRY AND CONFUSED BC WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM? WHY DID JGY HAVE TO USE HIM??
and lwj is watching wwx while he shouts this and god how can he stand watching his soulmate be hurt over and over and over again?? HOW DOES HE COPE?
jgy does a mini Rant of Evil Explanation and ss does a rant about classism
which, if said by literally anybody else, i'd say hm, yes, you have a point 
but bc it's said by ss, a spineless coward who never takes responsibility for his own actions, i'm like STFU SS
omg lolololol
ss: would i have been swept out of lan clan like a pile of leaves [if I were highborn]??
AND ICE PRINCE LWJ ANSWERS ALMOST BEFORE SS COULD FINISH ASKING
lwj: Yes.
AND THEN HE LOOKS SS DEAD IN THE EYE
lwj: betrayers won't be tolerated by the lan clan
HELL FUCKING YEAH
YOU WEREN'T KICKED OUT BC YOU WERE LOW-BORN, SS
YOU WERE KICKED OUT BC YOU'RE A TRAITOROUS COWARD
and like, i need to point out that lwj is sitting cross legged on the ground right now (along with wwx, ofc) and ss is standing over him while ranting
and YET, the way lwj holds himself and the way he speaks, does in no way indicate that he's at a disadvantage here
dude's unflappable. JADE OF LAN, INDEED
ss is like i am so sick of your condescending attitude
then he's like just bc i made that one little mistake you could never forgive me!!
FUCKING EXCUSE ME??? 
LITTLE? LITTLE MISTAKE??? 
HOW MANY PEOPLE DIED BC OF YOU SS?
HOW MANY DIED BC YOU BETRAYED THEM??
ss continues to rant and starts to go off his rocker
and then wwx starts to laugh but it's not a happy laugh
it is, in fact, a laugh very similar to the laugh we heard in The One where the Moonlit Rooftop Betrays Us
ss is like, what's so funny???
wwx: nothing. i just didn't expect...
AND HE'S GETTING TEARY HERE EVEN AS HE LAUGHS
WWX: i didn't expect you to get so many people killed just for...just for this
HE LOOKS SO DISILLUSIONED
MY POOR PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY
THE WORLD KEEPS DISAPPOINTING HIM
omg i want to RING JGY'S NECK WITH ZIDIAN
HE'S GETTING ALL UP IN WWX'S FACE
TELLING HIM THAT NO MATTER HOW KIND OR CHIVALROUS HE IS, HE WILL ALWAYS BE BLAMED FOR ANY BAD THING THAT HAPPENS, THAT NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE OR TRUST HIM
FUCK YOU JGY I HATE YOU SO MUCH
MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS TREMBLING WITH RAGE
bc he knows it's true. ppl really ARE always going to suspect the yiling patriarch.
oooh, jc just defended his brother! sort of.
But it has the unfortunate side effect of drawing jgy’s attention
so now jgy is cutting into jc
god jgy talks a lot. stfu jgy.
wwx has been teary eyed on and off this entire episode so far but hasn't actually cried
but jgy is now belittling all of jc's work, all the effort he put in to rebuilding lotus pier, implying that he wouldn't have been able to do if not for wwx
and that's the breaking point, that's what makes wwx finally shed a tear.
lwj is watching wwx, as always, and sees wwx cry
he must feel utterly helpless
ooooh, MY CLEVER SUNSHINE BOY
EVEN AMIDST ALL THIS TERRIBLE EMOTIONAL PAIN, HE PICKED UP ON JGY'S TRIGGER WORD(S)
wwx: just a "son of a whore" made you talk so much
oooh jgy tries to leave but wwx stops him in his tracks by asking him how he killed nmj
and then he's like "aren't you afraid?"
CHILLS, MAN, I'M GETTING CHILLS AT HOW HE DELIVERS THIS
SO CALM, COOL AND COLLECTED YET TINGED WITH A THREAT
jgy: afraid of what? (lol he whirls around angrily like the Drama queen he is)
wwx leans forward and looks him dead in the eye
wwx: afraid of him coming back to you
AND THE SMIRK HE WEARS
THAT'S THE SMIRK OF THE YILING PATRIARCH 
He smirks and leans back against the pillar, all easy and relaxed while jgy looks freaked the fuck out
and then
THEN
WWX STARTS TO WHISTLE
RESENTFUL ENERGY COMES IN TO STROKE AT JGY'S ARM ALL MENACINGLY
I'M GETTING CHILLS ALL OVER 
THIS IS SUCH A BADASS MOVE ON WWX'S PART
and also, holy shit do i enjoy those close up shots of wwx's eyes and his beautiful beautiful lips
the sound team did a great job making those whistles sound super eerie, btw
i can't get over how cool and confident wwx looks here
he's not worried or bothered AT ALL, this is him doing what he does best
Wait, do i have a competency kink…?
LOL JGY JUST GOT BITCHSLAPPED BY RESENTFUL ENERGY, LOVE IT
wwx has stopped whistling now, which is unfortunate bc that means no more extreme close-ups on wwx's gorgeous features
jgy: yiling patriarch, you're worthy of your title, aren't you?
YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS!
Okay yeah, i guess i have a competency kink now, THANKS A LOT WWX
FUCKING SU SHE JUST TRIED STABBING WWX
LWJ TO THE RESCUE, HELL YEAH
OUR MAN HANGUANG JUN LEAPS TO HIS FEET AND NOT ONLY BLOCKS THE STRIKE
HE FREAKING SLICES SU SHE'S WEAK ASS SWORD IN TWO 
THEN FOLLOWS UP WITH A SLICE AT SU SHE'S WRIST
I LOVE YOU HANGUANG JUN
Lwj calmly goes over to wwx and slices off the ropes that were keeping his wrists tied and does the same to jc
wwx goes up to jgy (who's held at sword point by lxc) and calmly takes his weapons
wwx: jgy, hand it over. it's not of much use in your hands.
with a deceivingly dainty clink, Plot Device 3 rolls out of jgy's sleeve and into his hand
then he lets it fall to the ground bc he's a petty bitch that way
we get to see wwx being all Smart Detective and revealing just how long jgy has been planning all this 
jgy’s all like even between me and xy we could only create Plot Device 3 half as powerful as Plot Device 2
LOLOL THAT'S BC THE TWO OF YOU ARE WORTHLESS HACKS.
WWX HAS MORE SKILL AND TALENT IN HIS PINKY FINGER THAN THE BOTH OF YOU COMBINED
man there's a lot of Plot Exposition happening and lxc is having Feelings about it.
DON'T FUCKING LOWER YOUR SWORD LXC WHAT ARE YOU DOING
look lxc, i don't mean to sound cruel or heartless or whatever, but omg i do NOT CARE about your complicated Emotions right now
NOT WHEN IT'S GIVING JGY THE OPENING TO MANIPULATE AN ESCAPE
jgy is now being like "oh, i was wrong" and acting all pitiful and TOTALLY PLAYING LXC FOR A FOOL (AGAIN)
wwx: hey, jgy, can't we stop talking? let's just fight? can we just start killing each other?
LOLOLOLOLOL 
HE TOTALLY SAW THAT JGY WAS MANIPULATING THE SITUATION AGAIN AND IS LIKE, NOPE, NOT DOING THAT AGAIN
LESS WORDS MORE SWORDS PLZ
LIKE, MY BOY IS JUST DONE. HE IS DONE WITH THIS. LET'S GET TO THE FIGHT NOW THX.
jgy ignores this and keeps talking to lxc AND OMG WWX'S FAAAAACE IS CRACKING ME UP 
GOD WORDS ARE NOT GONNA DO IT JUSTICE
HE JUST LOOKS AT JGY FOR A SECOND LIKE, SRSLY BRO? BEFORE ROLLING HIS EYES AND SCRUNCHING UP HIS EYEBROWS LIKE "CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS GUY, JFC"
IT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY OMG
meanwhile jgy continues to throw a pity party that no one likes and the episode ends
There really wasn’t much wangxian time in this episode, fucking jgy and ss decided to HOG ALL THE SCREEN TIME, THOSE PATHETIC WHINY ASSHOLES
but we got a lot of Yungmeng Bros which was painful but waaaay better than anything jgy or ss has to offer
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81 notes · View notes
crunkumbee · 5 years ago
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Lost In You
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Yancy x Reader 
Requests: 
could you write a piece about yancy and y/n in the ending where they stay in the prison and after a while get together and it’s a very sweet and soft? love ur writing xxx 
I heard you want fanfic ideas? If so. May I present the classic jealous Yancy? A new prisoner/guard flirts with the reader? - @just-a-werido 
oh. my god. dancing. with yancy. just. oh my god. please?
Cuddles and stuff because Yancy is baby- @greemany​
Could you write a really fluffy Yancy x reader?? Like maybe they're both super touch-starved and easily flustered and so there's a lot of embarrassed but sweet, blushy cuddles and physical affection??? Sorry if this is a bad ask but I'm just a SLUT for Yancy cuddles thanks friend💕
Can I request a cuddly Yancy x reader where he almost lost her due to a fight between her and one of the guys who thought it be a good idea to mess with his family? Like the gang instantly comes to her aid and Yancy is like ????!!!!!!! and instantly makes sure his baby’s okay? Word Count: 1.7k
A/N: Holy goddamn you guys first of all thank you so much I am so honored that you all love my writing and trust me enough to write these!! Second um I kinda went off and shoved all of these together bc I thought they would sound good and yeah also sorry fics have been kinda slow its just been a crazy last couple of weeks with LITERALLY EVERYTHING and dancing yancy?!?!?!? HELL YEAH but please please PLEASE ENJOY FRIENDS LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Tag List: @i-am-a-weeb @arts-of-plenty @gay-matty-boi @brokequeenofcardonia @writer-of-camelot  @pleasedontfollowmeimtrash @bxbamilktae @th3-n3xt-phas3-2 @animals4ever527 @janiceapex @ughsomething​ @go-just-me-fan​ @les-amis-de-l-ab-yeet​ @aheistwithyancy​​
Twelve years with the chance for probation. That’s what you were stuck with. Happy Trails Penitentiary wasn’t what you thought it would be but after what you had done, you were perfectly fine with it.  You weren’t one to talk to new people so when it came time for lunch you sat alone in a corner and prayed that nobody would sit next to you or even look at you. 
The potatoes weren’t the best you had but it was better than you expected and as you were poking at them you didn’t even notice the man that sat next to you. 
“Youse is new here. I’m Yancy,” he extended his hand out to you. “I saw you walk in and thought youse was the best looking person in this joint.” 
“Y/n and I’m sure that seeing somebody new has an affect on who you’re attracted to.”
He chuckled and god damn that was a beautiful sound. 
“Youse might be right. But you should come sit with the rest of us. Hank even has wine for us. 
Your plan was to just sit there in the corner for the next twenty years but when a man as handsome as Yancy asks you to sit at his table, you don’t argue and just go along with it. 
You followed the man to the table with multiple other people and you were instantly overwhelmed once they all started to surround you. 
“Hey fellas, stand back a bit shes new here.”
And so for the next few weeks you sat at the table and the other prisoners became like family to you. You and Yancy had gotten really close. He would spend most of his time with you whenever you could and he had a spare key to all of the cells so some nights you could sneak into one anothers cell. Sure he was attractive but you weren’t anything more than friends and while you would like for there to be more, you were perfectly content with how your life was with him just being a friend.
There weren’t many other new guards or other inmates. But, there was a new guy. His name was Lucas and he just wouldn’t leave you alone. It wasn’t until Yancy said something to him that he kinda backed off but you could still feel his eyes on you.  Three days into his sentence you went to use the restroom during lunch. It wasn’t in the same room as the cafeteria but it was down the hall a ways and since the guards trusted most of the inmates, they would let most of them just go off on their own. As you were walking out of the restroom, Lucas came up behind you and grabbed your hips, only resulting in you pushing yourself off of him.
“What the hell?!?” 
“Come on baby girl you know you liked it. Why would you want some pansy like him when you could have all of this.” 
“Fuck you!” you yelled at him before punching him in the throat. You wanted to go for the face but he was a lot taller and a hell of a lot bigger than you were and there was no way you would have reached even if you had wanted to. 
“Bitch,” he backhanded you and your face hit the concrete wall. “Kick her ass.” Lucas said to the two people who then walked out from around the corner. Of course they were both women and twins. 
“Too big of a bitch to fight me yourself Lucas?” If he replied you couldn’t hear it because the woman on your left with short black hair punched you followed by the other one with long brown hair that was tied back kicking you in the stomach. It took you a moment to shake it off but you soon got in with the rhythm of their movements and while you were taking an ass beating at least you were able to fight back. At least you wouldn’t be the only one bleeding. 
You had been gone for too long and while the gang told him that everything was fine, Yancy just couldn’t shake the feeling that you were in some kind of trouble. 
“Hey Tiny, can youse come with me to check on y/n?” 
“Sure thing Yancy.” 
Together they walked out into the hallway where the restrooms were and sure enough there was Lucas laughing as two women were fighting you. You were holding your own well but you were outnumbered. 
“I’ll help y/n boss go get that asshole.” 
Yancy nodded and sure enough Tiny was taking care of the brown haired woman while you focused in on the other one. Now that she didn’t have her partner, it was a lot easier to take her on. 
“Hey Lucas! I know youse have a problem with me so let's take care of it right here, right now.” 
“I’m not going to fight you. You’re not worth the waste of breath. And neither is y/n.” 
He could have said whatever he wanted about him but the second that he brought you into it, Yancy lost his cool. Nobody could get away with having people attack you then talk shit about you. Yancy didn’t think before he clocked Lucas in the face and he fell to the ground. Yancy was about to advance on the fallen man before he heard your voice.
“Yance, don’t. He’s not worth it.” 
He looked over and saw you bruised and bleeding. You and Tiny had managed to knock down and keep the other two women down. It was then that Yancy decided not to murder the man on the ground. Seeing his way out Lucas got up and walked down towards his cell.
“Come here sweetheart.” You started to walk towards him and he met you halfway. He walked you to the guard where Tiny told them everything that happened. Yancy walked you to the infirmary but it just so happened to be the nurses birthday so she wasn’t there so instead Yancy grabbed things that looked like they would be of use and walked back to his cell which was closer than yours. Jimmy followed you both and once you sat on his bed and Yancy put all the supplies next to you he went out of the small cell to talk to Jimmy. The other man nodded before walking off and Yancy came back to you. 
“Okay this isn’t going to feel good but just know that I’m not tryin to hurt you.” 
“I know you wouldn’t try to Yance. Just get it over with.” 
Other than you occasionally wincing when he would put peroxide on the cuts on your face (and him apologizing every time) he was gentle. 
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner for youse. I should have been there to help you otherwise youse wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
“Yance. Don’t try to blame yourself for what happened to me. You and Tiny came to help me before it got worse and that’s all that matters.” you put your hand on his and neither of you were used to the closeness that you were both currently at but all that either of you knew was that you liked it. 
“Let me put these bandages on you. Just be still.” 
As he put them on your face you could smell the sweet prison cologne that they gave them and for some reason it smelled better on him than it did anybody else. 
Suddenly there was music playing throughout the hallway. It was usual for this to happen and the warden liked to have music on once in awhile. 
“Do youse know how to dance?” 
“What? Oh no! I’ve never had the chance to learn.” 
“Well there’s no better time than the present.”
He extended his hand out to you and for a moment you hesitated. You weren’t used to so much and prison wasn’t the place that you thought that you would find a family but here you were, learning how to dance with the most handsome guy in the joint. It wasn’t what you were expecting when you got 20 years for arson but now that you were here and in the moment, it was nice. 
As you took his hand and stood in the cell with the soft love song that you didn’t recognize playing over the speakers you realized that this was the place for you. 
“Just let me show youse what to do and follow my lead.” 
He carefully and cautiously to his shoulders and placed his hands on your waist. And when he started to move you followed and it soon became easy to follow. 
You looked into his soft brown eyes and smiled and that’s when the moment of realization hit him, there’s nobody else for him. The way that something as small as dancing with him made you so happy and brought out the beautiful smile of yours, and if all of that could make his heart melt then there was no person he would rather be with. 
Just when he thought the moment couldn’t get any better, you rested your head on his chest. It was now or never. 
“Hey, uh, y/n?” 
“Yeah Yance?” “What would you-, uh see I kinda-”
You knew what he was saying and didn’t need anymore confirmation than what he was giving you in that moment. You moved your hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck to push his lips to yours. His lips were softer than you could have ever imagined and he was thinking the same thing. 
You pulled away and looked him in his puppy dog eyes, “I didn’t think youse would like somebody like me but I’ve been lost in you since the day you showed up.” 
“I was going to say the same thing about you.” 
“If I talked to the warden, would youse like to share a cell so we don’t have to sneak around every night?” 
“If he allows that, I would love to.” 
“Good because I talked to him this morning and he says that as long as we don’t get into a fight with each other then he doesn’t care.” 
279 notes · View notes
blookmallow · 5 years ago
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aaaand goodbye teruteru
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the what now 
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I GOT STUCK HERE FOR SO FUCKING LONG BC THEY GIVE YOU THIS. PILE OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE INSTRUCTIONS AND THEN NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE
in dr1 they had a similar mechanic where you had to hit the buttons at the right tempo to knock out their statements, which was also confusing but i was starting to get decently good at it by the end of the game, but in this one the timing is TOTALLY OFF and i kept missing every single one and couldn’t figure out why, then realized it worked sometimes if i held down the button instead of just clicking it like you do in dr1 (which they didn’t explain!!! in this one!!!) but eventually figured out if i just like. double clicked on the beat i could break them for some reason. i dont know why. it works and i cannot explain how 
but then at the end when you reach the final strike, you have to put together a phrase out of four words to refute “where could the weapon have been?” and i was CONVINCED it was “On The Meat Bone” (even though technically it was hidden In the bone i guess) and i didnt realize i had the phrase wrong and thought i just wasn’t hitting it correctly for some reason so i failed this like 6 times before i finally realized it was MEAT ON THE BONE 
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i understand owari’s not the type to give a shit probably but do you really wanna eat meat off of the skewer that was very recently repeatedly stabbed into a guy’s abdomen 
even if he cleaned it off before he put it back thats still like, fucked up lmao 
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monokuma took care of it though i guess :’ ) 
kind of alarming that he’s capable of eating now, but 
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THANK YOU NANAMI 
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,,,,ok
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I WILL SAY that the final closing sequence is WAY better in sdr2, it’s way way clearer what you’re looking for, the blanks give you hints as to what might go there, the picture options give you descriptions of what you’re looking at (frequently i know exactly what im trying to explain but cant figure out which picture goes where bc they’re just. incomprehensible out of context) and THEY FINALLY FIXED THE SCROLL THING :’) 
i dont know if its just broken as hell with a laptop trackpad and maybe it works with a mouse (or maybe it’s just not designed for pc in the first place, this was originally. ps vita or something i think) but the scroll sensitivity was SO broken in dr1 i spent most of my time just trying desperately to scroll to the thing i needed without scrolling past it 
i still have that problem when im trying to pick which truth bullet to fire but thats not As bad as this part was in dr1 at least
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ok so my bIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ALL THIS, is WHY DIDN’T TERUTERU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS 
if he Knew what komaeda was up to (and he did, it’s confirmed right after this) why didn’t he just go tell not-togami right away. even if he thought nobody would believe him, that guy would have taken it very seriously since he already was on his guard and knew there was a threat 
i mean i guess like. he saw an opportunity to kill komaeda, which he could feel justified about bc he knew komaeda was already planning a murder, and if he got away with it he could escape but that still means he was willing to sacrifice everyone else 
like he does give kind of a weak attempt at asking if it counts as an exception because it was sort of self defense (komaeda couldn’t kill him from where he was but he was gonna kill Someone so he was defending. someone) but he still.... knew komaeda was going to kill somebody and made the choice to just kill him himself without warning anyone or saying Anything and then kept that fact to himself too
back in dr1 again we had this similar situation in the first trial where leon actually was acting in self defense (which is Confirmed in the manga, he doesn’t get a chance to explain it in the game) and didn’t tell anyone but like... none of them knew yet if they could get off on a technicality and we don’t know if he might’ve been hoping for that, and he didn’t know sayaka was dangerous, he didn’t make the conscious decision to go kill her without telling anyone. he probably should have asked someone else for help when she lost it but his intention was to get in there to talk it out, so like. he tried to de-escalate the situation and became a killer by accident, teruteru had plenty of time to get help and decided to kill instead. and “hey byakuya i think komaeda is planning something bad” would have been a completely logical thing to do, he would have taken it seriously and teruteru would be innocent in that scenario, vs “guys i think i just killed sayaka but hear me out i didnt mean to” would NOT have gone over well, nobody’s gonna help him or believe him when it’s Sweet Dear Precious Sayaka, naegi could barely believe she attacked him even when they proved it with evidence 
i dont know i feel like teruteru had a lot more intent behind what he did. even if he would have been absolutely fucking justified in killing komaeda and i wish he had done it correctly :’  ) i think the “i dont care about taking everyone else down with him” is way more clear-cut here 
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anyway, goodbye little bastard man 
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motherfucker
i still CANNOT follow komaeda’s logic here 
he’s obsessed with the Ultimates... and believes in them SOOO Much :) he’s desperate to see them overcoming the ultimate despair... so he’s gotta kill somebody... to induce ultimate despair... so they can overcome it... i GUESS???
wouldn’t defeating monokuma and making it out of here on their own strength without resorting to murder at all be the ultimate hope triumph though. what are you DOING, komaeda
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what is W R O N G wiTH YOu
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well there he goes
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i really wish someone would
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P LE ASE DO 
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AKANE OWARI MY QUEEN 
its not. clear but im pretty sure she Did punch him
its a crime that we dont get to see this, but 
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i mean. she’s right 
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i B U K I 
2 notes · View notes
insporaelynn · 4 years ago
Text
📲 raelynn && delilah
WHEN: january 24th-26th
DESCRIPTION: they talk delilah’s relationship with alex, it somehow devolves into sexting, and then the next day they’re not on speaking terms bc delilah decided to move in with carson.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: nsfw
@delilah-moon
delilah-moon
thought i was a bad bitch but i’m crying over otters AND my ex boyfriend in bed
raelynn.
Bitch you ARE A BAD BITCH you just need to stop fucking with this guy lmao
delilah-moon
the fact that wes is taking him to the wedding
raelynn.
I just really think you'd be happier if you at least tried not devoting so much energy to him
delilah-moon
you’re right. we’re doing a clean slate thing rn
raelynn.
What do you mean
delilah-moon
Alex? idk him
raelynn.
Love that for you.
If you can keep it up, i think its the best decision.
delilah-moon
he doesn’t know delilah either
delilah-moon
*img attachment of a convo between delilah & alex*
raelynn.
Idk if it works if you keep talking to him though. I mean, how long until you're fucking again? You can pretend you don't know him but your pussy can't.
delilah-moon
i love the advice baby girl
we’re not fucking
just friends
raelynn.
If you say so
delilah-moon
you think i’m being stupid?
raelynn.
no, but I do think its better to take space away from a dynamic that isn't good for you
delilah-moon
i have to sit next to him at the wedding on friday
raelynn.
You could be friendly without having to consistently text.
delilah-moon
I just had to lay groundwork. I’m sick of fighting with him
raelynn.
And I def think the mature thing to do is to stop bc it just hurts you.
delilah-moon
i’ll stop, you’re right
raelynn.
I just hate seeing you hurt bc you tend to self destruct and you're too sexy for that
delilah-moon
ur right i am far too sexy look at this shit
*img attachment* 
raelynn.
Like honestly why sweat dudes when you look like that. You're so fucking perfect.
delilah-moon
raelynn i love you more than anything darling
raelynn.
ily lilah babie
delilah-moon
never seeing a man again
raelynn.
literally do you know how many ladies you'd get if you walked into throuple alone
delilah-moon
we should so go out tonight
raelynn.
i have work but i can after probs
delilah-moon
please and thank u
raelynn.
wanna do something for OF?
delilah-moon
what you thinking baby?
raelynn
idk what are u comfy with?
delilah-moon
i’ve literally fucked niamh on camera, we can do anything
raelynn.
well maybe let's just get in bed together and see what happens.
delilah-moon
i mean we can do that without the camera
raelynn.
i meannnn....
As you wish.
delilah-moon
is this u politely asking to have sex
raelynn.
i mean if you want to. on camera or off. idc.
delilah-moon
my door is literally open rn
raelynn.
i gotta drop something off at the post office but i mean i can come over after and stay until i have to work?
delilah-moon
works for me. want me to get anything ready?
raelynn.
like what?
delilah-moon
toys or anything?
raelynn.
surprise me, i do it all.
delilah-moon
top or bottom?
raelynn.
where would you like me, sweetheart?
delilah-moon
behind me
raelynn.
oh so you want the strap?
delilah-moon
i would love the strap
raelynn.
ok i'll bring my harness and you can choose whatever cock you want.
delilah-moon
that is such a dirty word
raelynn.
i mean, it is a cock.
delilah-moon
i know i know, i just don’t use that word unless i’m like...really into it
raelynn.
fair enough. dick? is that better?
delilah-moon
there we go
raelynn.
i guess if you use the c word i know i'm really doing good, huh
delilah-moon
exactly baby girl
raelynn.
as long as i'm fucking you, you can call me daddy.
or whatever else you want idc.
delilah-moon
is that an order?
raelynn.
however sometimes i do be a bottom ass bitch, in which case, babygirl is
do ya want it to be?
delilah-moon
i would love it to be
raelynn.
then it's an order.
delilah-moon
yes
raelynn.
i'll see you in a bit
delilah-moon
yes daddy
excuse me that was the part where u call me a good girl tf?
raelynn.
don't be a brat. patience. i was signing an envelope!
you are a good, good girl.
delilah-moon
i like to be a brat
raelynn.
oh i know.
delilah-moon
thank you daddy
raelynn.
you're welcome sweet girl.
delilah-moon
that’s me
raelynn.
it's a good thing i always carry extra underwear with me
delilah-moon
...what for?
raelynn.
bc i'm fuckin soaked
delilah-moon
i have a habit of doing that
raelynn.
turning pussies into slip 'n slides?
delilah-moon
mhm. it’s what i’m good at
raelynn.
that makes two of us
delilah-moon
oh trust me i know
*image attachment.*
raelynn.
holy shit, baby
delilah-moon
yes, daddy?
raelynn.
you're my little star
delilah-moon
tread lightly babe, you know how praise gets me
raelynn.
i have no interest in being careful, only in making you want me so bad you could cry.
delilah-moon
fuck
i love when people make me cry
only during sex, obviously
raelynn.
i want you to want me like you can't breathe unless i'm hovering over you and kissing every little inch of you, princess.
delilah-moon
fucking hell, rae
i like princess a lot
raelynn.
oh yes, you'll be crying by the time i'm done with you.
not because it hurts. just because it's that fucking good, sweet thing.
delilah-moon
you’re killing me here
raelynn.
i gotta have you desperate for when i finally get there, yeah?
delilah-moon
trust me, i’m getting there
unfair of you to leave me when i’m nearing desperation tbh
raelynn.
trust and believe that i'm feeling exactly what you're feeling, and it's gonna be all the better for that fact.
delilah-moon
i need you
raelynn.
how bad?
delilah-moon
so fucking bad, daddy
raelynn.
you wanna touch me?
delilah-moon
i really wanna touch you
raelynn.
tell me where.
delilah-moon
your tits
raelynn.
can't believe you've never seen them
delilah-moon
that makes two of us, quite offensive actually
raelynn.
believe me, i can't wait to suck on your tits
delilah-moon
fuck that’s hot
can i tell you a secret?
they’re not real
raelynn.
still love 'em .
i like my little tiddies and i'm scared of surgery so i don't think i'd do it. plus, you know, poor asf
delilah-moon
they were making me unhappy so i got em done
you wanna see?
raelynn.
I wanna see them irl.
Let me in, I'm outside your door x
delilah-moon
might have to let yourself in
i’m naked x
raelynn.
fuck i'll be right up
delilah-moon
hurry, i’m starting without you
raelynn.
I'M COMING OMG OK FUCK
[...]
delilah-moon
it’s not like that, Rae
raelynn.
i don't really care what it's like.
like you could've moved in with literally anybody
like he literally cheated on me for months and then broke up with me and then like DAYS later made it public with his other bitch.
that's fucking unforgivable
delilah-moon
he’s like my brother, rae
raelynn.
okay but like he isn't
like he just literally isn't
delilah-moon
i’ve grown up with him rae. i’m not sleeping with him
raelynn.
i told you that i didn't care if you were. i mean, if you were that'd make it so much worse actually, but it's still the principle of the thing.
delilah-moon
what else was i supposed to do
raelynn.
literally anything else
like take your pick.
delilah-moon
i’m not picking between the two of you
raelynn.
that's not what i meant
anyway i don't really wanna talk to you right now.
delilah-moon
yeah, i get that
0 notes
saveme-ruinme · 7 years ago
Text
Boyfriend Hyungwon
A/N: this was requeeeeested bc u can do that guys idk what to write give me ideas pls thank u also nsfw ahead mostly fluff but im always too thirsty for my own good
tall lanky bf thats way too good looking
Sucks when you got your period bc you cant look at him without crying bc hes so handsome
Dunno if youre crying bc youre so happy about being with hyungwon or crying bc hes too handsome and you feel ugly
Laughs when you get like that, hugging you against his body
Always smells nice so hugging his is really nice
So is kissing him
Sometimes you will ask for a kiss or hug and hyungwon will walk up to you like hes gonna do it then will dab and walk away laughing
Always come back saying sorry tho and making it up to you so you dont punch him in the throat
boy has got some nice ass lip they are so thick and pink and are probably soft as hell
Tbh makeouts with hyungwon are something that happens often
Just sittin on his lap grinding down onto him while his tongue is in your mouth and his hands digging into your skin
This got sexual so early whoops lmao
Lets keep this goin tho
Maaaaan i feel like hyungwon would willing to try anything
Like hes not that versed in kinky shit but is down to try anything you wanna try
So do ya boy and favor and introduce him to e v e r y t h i n g bc u know hes lowkey freaky he just dont know it yet
Or he does he just hasn’t had a chance ;) ;) ;)
But when its not like that hes slow and seductive using his good looks against you to turn you to mush
Its the worst but the best thing ever
Probably enjoys making you suffer aka either teasing the shit outta you and not letting you come or overstimulating you to tears
Laughs at you begging and whining pretending like hes doing nothing wrong
Highkey loves making you choke on his cock
Nice aftercare tho
Cleans you up and hugs you close and tries to make you laugh
hes so dumb will make stupid faces at you from across the room
And you gotta make them back ofc
So you two end up looking like idiots making dumb faces at each other and giggling and anybody who happens to witness is just like ?????? What the fuck??????
Its cool just pretend like nothing happened hyungwon is good looking so no one else believes it when they see him being normal
But then ur sitting there like gdi hyungwon now i look like an idiot by myself how dare u
And hyungwons just like mmm get rekt hun ;)
Dont take him on fancy dates dont do it he looks too good and will overshadow u
I mean do it bc he looks hella good but be prepared for everybody and their mother to be looking at him and forgetting about you
Like the waitress comes up all starry eyed focussing on hyungwon asking him what he wants and just being too much
And ur sitting like mm yes can i have some fucking respect back tf away hes mine knife emoji
Hyungwon laughs but promises to eat u out when u get home for putting up with it
Naaaaappppsss
Couple naps are a thing
Its gr8 bc some days when you dont wanna go out and youre tired hyungwons like yeah lets watch movies and sleep its a date
And youre like its not a date but fine im down
I read somewhere that napping with someone builds trust so there u go nap a lot with hyungwon and he might pour his soul out to you
You gotta take care of him bc hes lowkey useless and a whiny baby
I mean he works a lot so its not entirely unwarranted its just annoying
Bc when hes sick hes like noooo im fine i dont need u to take care of me im a man i can do it
And ur like u sound like ur dying i bet u havent eaten yet bc u dont want to get out of bed
He gets quiet at that so u go over and take care of him then he turns into the worst always whining at you and asking u to do things for him and its make u like ugh i knew i shouldve just let u die
Which makes hyungwon dramatically gasp that turns into a coughing fit and when its over hes like how dare u say that look i almost died you break my heart
And ur just like hyungwon…………. oh my fucking god
But when hes not being dramatic or dumb hes being super sweet bc he takes ur relationship seriously
Like doesnt forget things at all and always surprises you with nice things bc he has very high standards he holds himself at
And ur like hyungwon its cool you dont have to try so hard i really dont mind
But hes adamant about being the perfect boyfriend so will pay for you and buy you nice things and take you on nice dates
Its almost like a dream honestly
But your fave part is when its lowkey between the two of you
Like chillin at your place eating takeout with no makeup wearing sweats and talking about everything under the sun
Those are the nicest moments bc those are the realest
No need to be attractive or act a certain way toward each other
Just two people who love each other talking from the heart
Thats the first time he said he loved you was in a situation like because you guys were just talking about your relationship
Not being overly serious or expecting anything just talking about each other saying what you liked about each other and what annoyed you
He accidentally said that he loved the way you liked his stupid side as much as his idol side bc a lot of ppl see him as a pretty face and he does enjoy it but thats not all there is too him
And ur heartbroke a little for him but then u were like wait…. u love me?
Hyungwon gets all sheepish and starts to blush like ………. yeah i guess i do
It feels like your soaring through the heavens and u yell it back at him and accidentally spill your food all over the couch squashing it between the two of you when you go to hug him
He immediately tells you he wants to break up for ruining his expensive sweatpants
You punch him on the arm
Hes kinda the type to hold in his bad feelings so u always gotta break him out of that and make him comfortable so he will tell whats wrong
Always does. May take a while but always tells you.
Once he trusts you he really does trust you
Thats when he becomes serious with you and lets you know hes in it for the long run
This highkey made me emotional
HYUNGWON IS MORE THAN A MEME AND A VISUAL OKAY GUYS HE HAS FEELINGS
AND I HAVE FEELINGS AND THEY ARE MAKING ME SAD
VOTE FOR MONSTA X I WANT THEM TO HAVE THEIR FIRST WIN
ALSO APPRECIATE HYUNGWON GIVE HIM MORE LINES
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imjustthemechanic · 7 years ago
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The Stone Knight
Part 1/? - Two Statues Part 2/? - A Curious Interview Part 3/? - John Doe Part 4/? - Escape Attempt Part 5/? - Making the News Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - More Impossible Part 8/? - The Shield Thieves Part 9/? - Reality Sinks In Part 10/? - Preparing a Quest Part 11/? - The Marvelous History of Sir Stephen Part 12/? - Uninvited Guests Part 13/? - So That’s What It Does Part 14/? - The What and the Where Part 15/? - Gearing Up
Ain’t no party like a party with Black Widow’s personal arsenal.
That was a terribly awkward spot in the conversation, so it was a relief on multiple levels when Sir Stephen suddenly shouted, “this is it!”
Everybody looked up to see Sir Stephen burst out of the library room with the book in his hands.  There were a few of the post-its sticking out of the pages, but he ignored them all as he set it down on Sue's desk and reverently unfolded one of the big maps.  It depicted an ellipse with eight extant stones and dotted outlines to show where Lau's expedition had found evidence of four more that were now gone.  The one that had once been at the focus had fallen down and broken in two, and another dotted line showed where Lau believed the one across from it on the long axis had once been much bigger.
Everybody crowded around to look, and Natasha read off the caption. “L'anneau à Cracnesse, sur l'île de Flotta.”  The Ring at Kracness, on the island of Flotta.
Carter was already typing it in to google.  “Okay... according to Wikipedia, Kracness Henge on the island of Flotta is one of the oldest known stone circles in the British Isles.  It is believed to date from around 3500 BC, making it a thousand years older than the pyramids at Gizeh.  The henge forms part of the Heart of Neolithic Orkney World Heritage Site, and is looked after by Historic Scotland as a scheduled monument.”  She looked at Nat.  “Meaning nobody's allowed to dig it up.”
“Meaning you need permission to dig it up,” Nat corrected.  “So if the Grail's buried there and they try, we can have them arrested.”  How well that would work when the offenders were a kobold and a resurrected sorcerer, she was not entirely sure, and the others looked likewise dubious.  “We have to assume that if we can find this, they can, too, so in order to be there ahead of them we'd better get going.”
“Should we not seek permission to be there?” asked Sir Stephen.
“Nah,” said Nat.  “That takes months.”
Knowing Sue would be upset if it were left lying around, Natasha carefully put the book in the 'to be shelved' basket under the library table before they left.  As they descended in the elevator back to the ground floor, Dr. Wilson cleared his throat.
“Not to be that guy,” he said.  “But if we're not actually allowed to dig the Grail up, how are we gonna make sure Totenkopf doesn't get his hands on it.”
“By killing him,” said Sir Stephen grimly.
“Oh?  That easy, is it?” asked Dr. Wilson.
“If it is true, in any sense, that we were both turned to stone, then our duel is unfinished,” said Sir Stephen.  “I have my doubts whether there is any shred of honour in the man, but if there is, he will want to finish it as much as I.”
“That could be a problem when your sword's still in an evidence locker in Inverness,” DI Carter realized.  “They'll have set all that aside while they try to figure out what the hell went on in that room.”
“Then we'll just have to get them out,” Natasha decided, “and the rest of us will have to arm ourselves, too.”  She considered her companions.  “Dr. Wilson, you were in the military.  You must know how to handle a firearm.  Carter obviously has her service weapon, and I've got some stuff stashed away at my place.  But Sir Stephen's gonna need his own stuff.”  She didn't doubt he would be a quick study with a gun, but he might be a little too eager for anybody else's tastes.
“How are we going to get it?” asked DI Carter as the elevator doors opened.  “We can't just walk in here and ask for it.  I seem to remember a conversation about how not even the Queen can do that.”
“I'm a Russian spy, remember?” asked Nat, deliberately doing a stagey, exaggerated accent.  “I'll get the shield before we leave here, and the rest of the gear in Inverness.”  They headed out to the car park.
Rushman cleared his throat.  “I can shoot,” he said.  “I go duck hunting, remem... I mean.  I go duck hunting,” he repeated.
It occurred to Natasha that in the alternate reality that existed in this man's head, he might very well have been the one who taught her to use a gun.  Had the two of them bonded by sitting in blinds together on rainy days, sharing hot chocolate and body heat while they waited for a bird to get within range?  The mental picture was wistfully sweet, at the same time as it made Nat shudder – if she thought like that too much, she was going to start believing in it.  That was the reason people preferred the beautiful lies, after all.  They were just so much more comfortable than the ugly truths hiding behind them.
Anyway, so long as there was a ghost of a chance that Zola either was Rushman or had created him to mess with her, Nat wasn't going to trust him with a gun.  “We'll see,” she said.
Getting Sir Stephen's shield was no problem at all.  After Dr. Hughes had left for the evening, Nat simply slipped into her lab, picked a couple of locks, and slid it out of the safe.  It was wrapped in plastic to keep it from being contaminated by other sources of DNA, and for a moment Nat felt a pang of regret.  She'd wanted to be done with things like destroying evidence and hiding the truth, and yet here she was, doing exactly that, even if not quite for the reasons she might once have.  Maybe if she thought of it as serving the concept of truth rather than any one truth in particular.  After all, at the rate they were going, it might not be long before 'truth' didn't even mean anything anymore.
She unwrapped the plastic.  The stone replica of the shield that had appeared as part of the statue had been huge and thick and looked like it must weigh a ton.  The real thing, though of the same dimensions, was feather-light.  Its leather skin had been painted blue and white, with a star in the center.  Silver-plated rivets around the edge and an embellished boss in the centre, both just barely beginning to tarnish, held the leather in place, and on the back were the two straps for the bearer's arm, fixed to a wooden strut.  The sagas, Nat recalled, described shields like this as being made from linden wood.  Was this one, or had the Lady of the Lake provided Sir Stephen with something else altogether?
Before she left the Life Sciences building, Natasha did one more thing.  She stopped by the office to slide something into Dr. Hughes' mail slot – a bubble envelope containing two swabs with DNA samples, and a short note asking for a paternity test.  At this point is was a little hard to believe that science would actually have any answers for her, but part of an answer would do.
Back at the car where the others were waiting, Natasha presented the shield to Sir Stephen.  It felt like an oddly ceremonial moment, standing there with this medieval object in her hands – an impression that was only reinforced when Sir Stephen reached out hungrily for it, then held it at arm's length to look at as thought it were a long-lost love.
“Thank you,” he said gravely, and put it on his arm.
Nat did a bit of a double-take, as if she had to check and make sure that he was still dressed in a t-shirt and jeans that belonged to Dr. Wilson, still had a little bald patch where the surgeons at Raigmore had sewn up the gash in his face.  He was, and he did, and yet for some reason it didn't matter.  With that shield on his arm, Sir Stephen of Rogsey was a warrior.
“Next stop, Six Burnett Road,” said DI Carter as they climbed into the car.  “I'm really not looking forward to submitting my case reporton all this.”
“Not quite yet,” said Nat.  “I told you, we've gotta stop by my place first.
“Are you all right with coming along?” Dr. Wilson asked Rushman. “You didn't exactly sign up for this, and I have a feeling we're about to break some laws we didn't even know existed.”
Rushman shrugged.  “If I don't exist, they'll have a hard time prosecuting me,” he pointed out.
“I guess that's one way to look at it,” Dr. Wilson agreed, but it was hard to say whether he were interpreting the statement as a joke – or indeed, if Rushman had meant it as one.
Natasha's flat could be entered directly from the street, which was a major part of the reason she'd chosen it – it facilitated getting in and out at odd hours of the night without disturbing the neighbours.  It was certainly useful now, when she wouldn't have wanted to explain why she, normally a loner, had four people with her.  She tuned on the light, revealing a very ordinary-looking kitchen with a bouquet of dusty fake daffodils on the table and a slightly shabby poster of Degas' La Classe de Danse on the wall.  She leaned over the sink to shut the blinds, then turned to pull the fridge out from the wall and reveal the hidden compartment behind it.
“Need some help with that?” Rushman asked.
“No,” said Nat.  She got it out, unplugged it, and opened the hidden door to reveal a row of meticulously maintained Soviet assault rifles.
“I'm, uh, guessing you don't have a license for those,” DI Carter observed, as Nat began pulling things out.
“You can arrest me later,” Nat promised.  She handed the first rifle to Dr. Wilson, who immediately began checking it – his military training made it as natural as breathing.  Natasha nodded approvingly and grabbed a second weapon for Carter.
“Is all that really necessary?” asked Rushman, watching with wide eyes.  He must be wondering what on earth his little girl had gotten herself into.
“We're in a race against time with a guy who can blow up a building with his mind,” Natasha replied.  “I don't think there's such a thing as over-prepared.”  She grabbed a third weapon for herself, then a fourth just in case one got damaged, and began piling up boxes of ammunition.  “I've got a red and black sports back in the bedroom closet tha's got a plce for these,” she said. “Somebody wanna go find it for me?”
“I know the one you mean,” said Rushman.  “I'll get it.”
“It's the door on the...” Nat began, but he'd already left the room, as if he knew exactly where he was going.  A moment later he was back with the bag in his hands.  He'd known exactly where it was, she thought.  Of course he had, he'd been here before.  That was what Nat had told people when she'd taken the flat, that she didn't need help because her father was flying over with her stuff.
“Thanks,” she said.  Nat unzipped the bag and opened the pockets she'd sewn into the bottom to hold weapons and ammo.  “You guys can have something to eat if you want.  I'm gonna pack a few other things before we head out.”  Who knew when, or if, she'd be back again?
“What kind of other things?” Carter asked suspiciously.
“Clothes,” said Natasha dryly.  “Toothpaste.  Tampons.  That kind of thing.”
“Ah.”  Carter nodded, both relieved and disappointed.
Natasha did her packing, trying to keep in mind that even in the summer the Orkney Islands were likely to be cold and stormy.  As she did she began to be able to smell something... onions?  Puzzled, she peeked around the corner into the kitchen, and found that somebody had pushed the fridge back into place, and now Rushman had pasta on the stove and Dr. Wilson was cutting up vegetables.
“You're cooking?” asked Nat.
Rushman smiled at her.  “I figured I might as well do something useful,” he said.  “Do you like spaghetti?”
The hopeful way he said it made her want to grit her teeth.  He wanted her to like spaghetti, because he was looking for something in her of the daughter he remembered.
“It depends on the spaghetti,” said Nat.  “I'll give it a try. Let me wash my hands and I'll be right in to help.”  Getting directly involved would be the easiest way to make sure she could intervene if it turned out to be a plot to poison them or something. As was washing her hands, for that matter – Nat kept her poisons under the bathroom sink, and she wanted to make sure they hadn't been touched.
They hadn't, and as Nat closed the cupboard and got up again, she could hear Rushman talking in the kitchen.
“I had no idea how to cook when I was younger,” he admitted. “After Kathy got sick, I got to realize that Nat and I couldn't have McDonald's every night, so I actually went and took a cooking course at night school, just so I could get it right.”
Natasha turned on the faucet to drown out the voices, and stared in the mirror as she washed her hands.  Rushman did look like he could be her father, she thought.  The two of them had the same blue eyes, the same eyebrows, the same chin.  It made her wonder which was worse: the idea that this was all a conscious lie before he betrayed them, or that he really did have this entire lifetime in his head that had never happened, in which he could show up in Natasha's office and say hi, Ginger Snap, and she would run into his arms.
In the end she couldn't decide.  Both, in their own way, were equally terrifying.
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nureyevsbf · 7 years ago
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ive been doing this to everyone and ur no exception. do all of them!! with a Special Boy of ur choosing
that’s TOO MANY!!!
im going w foggy though because fucking of course i am
✨ Describe your favorite thing about them
oh my god this is a bullshit question idk where i could even start with this let alone narrow it down to a single thing but. god do you have any idea how much i love this boy’s heart. he’s so fucking. sweet and kind and is always going out of his way to help people and do the right thing i mean for gods’ sakes he helped fix the damages in mrs cardenas’s apartment, just for free on his own time, and then proceeded to run off and make sure he was there for anybody who needed help despite having just taken shrapnel to the side like. i’m in fucking l o v e
👑 Describe their favorite thing about you
having a positive self-image that includes specific traits you can talk about? in this economy?
lord uhhhhhhh i mean as a person i guess i’m also always Doing The Most™ for other people? and that would probably appeal to him a lot. (esp since i’m not terribly sure he’s used to being on the receiving end of that sort of kindness so,,)
❤️ Describe your first date!
luckily i’ve thought abt this one a lot (i don’t have anything set but it’s the thought that counts)
i think it’d be just something really casual, like, there’s a small restaurant in the neighborhood foggy’s really fond of - it’s not expensive or anything, it’s a real hole in the wall type place but foggy insists it’s the best of its kind in all of hell’s kitchen. there were also a lot of really good movies in theaters may 2015 (which would be about the time we had our first date) so a movie after is likely, maybe stopping for desert somewhere after that. like, nothing extraordinary, but really casual and intimate where we don’t have to worry about anything but just spending time with each other
🔥 Are they a good kisser?
absolutely like this is borderline canon.
to elaborate, i would think he kisses,, almost drunkenly. like the first couple of times, especially when it’s just good night kisses, it’s very slow and sweet and he knows exactly where to put his hands and when to pull away and it’s just nice and well-paced, it’s just not a lot, you know? but later down the line when things get more intimate it’s like. he can’t get enough, you know, hands are all over and he tries to be very tender and romantic about it but it just winds up hungry and passionate and uncoordinated but in a really good way and. fans self. fuck.
💍 Who proposes and how?
hhhhhhhhhhhhh oooh uhh i think i’d be the one proposing
i haven’t gotten the chance to touch on it on this blog but tl;dr i’d wind up having to leave for a few months after civil war, and during that time i’d probably get serious about like. shopping around for a ring. keeping it on a chain around my neck once i’ve gotten it.
so by the time i’ve returned, after everything’s settled a bit we’re out one night and maybe it’s not. a particularly impressive date. it’s not like i’ve planned this out there’s just…a lull in things where the time is right & i just sorta take the ring out and get on one knee
i don’t think i’d have a speech so to speak but i’d at least have a good idea of what i want to say but he doesn’t let me get a word out it’s just immediately a yes
📖 What’s your favorite thing to do together?
hmmmmm i would just,, like being intimate w him. we don’t even have to be doing the same thing, as long as we’re doing it together, you know? like, reading or working on paperwork or watching tv, but joined at the hip while doing it. resting our head in the other’s lap, leaning on the other, etc etc
i’m also into baseball, and foggy is really into baseball (i think football too, based on some dialogue in the first episode?) so i imagine we’d go to games a lot, or at least watch it on the tv(i don’t think it’s been mentioned what teams he’s into in canon? not real world, major league teams anyways. there’s the baseball poster in their college dorm but i just can’t fucking discern what team that is and i’m not sure it’s real. or major league, anyways. so personally i’m gonna go w the mets and giants, which i can get behind. there might be some mild rivalry given i’m real diehard into the rockies and broncos, but it’s not like he’s a diamondbacks fan or - god forbid - a patriots fan, so it’d be fine. hell, i mean, it’d probably be more about which of us hates the patriots more. might have been interesting while payton was on our roster tho.tl;dr sports)
🙈 Share an embarassing moment between you two
i’m sure it’s some drunk bullshit honestly like y’all’ve seen how he gets drunk
he’s loud and forgets himself, i’m impulsive and affectionate, it’s not a good mix
👶🏻 Do you ever have a family together? 
some dogs down the road, maybe, but i can’t have kids, don’t want kids, and don’t particularly like kids. like just for 1001 reasons there’s. no reason on god’s green earth i would or should have kids
(and i don’t think foggy would be too beat up about this? like he’s definitely a family man, because of course he is, but i also think he’s the kind of person who doesn’t want kids full time, just wants to spoil his nieces and nephews, of which he has plenty)
💪 Do you ever fight? Who’s the first to apologize?
hmmmmmm probably a little,, but it’d be more over something someone did and tbh whoever is in the wrong would i think. i don’t really think communication or fighting would ever be an issue.
😷 Who’s better at taking care of the other when sick?
it would be nigh impossible for me to get sick with my enhancements and all, so i would just by default. also i’m incredibly doting and know all the secrets and hacks to get through a cold or the flu, and i wouldn’t have to worry about getting sick myself so i could still get close.
i should, like, give him credit where credit’s due, though - when i’m injured or some stupid bullshit? he’s tremendous at taking care of me. i don’t think he’s very good at cooking so it’d mean a lot of takeout but he’d still be good with literally everything else, bc he’s like…….equally as doting, lbr
💋 Do you have nicknames for each other?
u h h h hhhhhh gosh i surprisingly havent thought abt this too much uhhhh,
i mean fogs for him, ofc. i think preferred petnames honey and darling?
and my uhh,,,, my name doesn’t really have any diminutives that i’m ok with, and there’s not a ton of petnames i care too much about either way but. for s ome fuckin reason. something abt calling me sugar? makes me weak as hell.
☁️ Who accidentally kicks the other off of the bed in the middle of the night/Hogs all the sheets?
i did address this earlier in another post but i guess i’ll do it again uhh,,
neither of us, really? bc either we’re wrapped up in each other’s arms, or we’re just sort of comfortably on our bags, not curled up and yanking sheets around and shit. and i don’t really thrash in my sleep and i don’t think he does either so.
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mndcvntrvl · 7 years ago
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02 | The Weekend [part i.]
you ready bih? @rebellesixx (i pray this chapter is decent bc omg)
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FRIDAY, APRIL 3RD
The sweet smell of coffee floated around me. Colombian grinded beans wafted into my nose, causing me to wrinkle up my face. I let my eyes follow the bodies of people walking passed me through the Plexiglas. Sunlight seeped right in front of my table in a crooked line—catching my attention whenever Maria would step in it.
“Hey,” I called towards her. Her tiny body stopped and turned towards me with look of mischief. Those big, doll-like eyes looked dead at me, causing me to smile.
“Mama,” she asked, her hands clapped as she did so.
I smiled and waved her back towards our table. “Don’t walk around without me,” I told her, grabbing her hand and pulling into my lap.
We had gotten a booth. The tables around us weren’t suitable for children. High tops with small black, metal legs. But the booths were wide and roomy, enough for me to sit Maria in my lap or next to me if she got to grumpy.
A chime sounded to my right—eyes locked on the person. A smile littered their face as I watched them catch me cowering away behind my hand. When they arrived to our booth, they picked Maria up out of my lap.
“And how is my favorite princess?”
Nadia had wanted to meet up somewhere after last week’s mess. With me being at work and picking up Maria from daycare, and her working at the salon all the time, we had no time except for today. Even then, it would be cut short because Chaos wanted to see his niece and talk to me, again.
Maria gave her a babbled answer before saying, “princey!”
We laughed in unison.
“You been havin’ a good week,” she asked me, sitting down in front of me. Her hair had gotten longer so she struggled to keep her curls out of Maria’s face as she maneuvered and scooted into her seat.
I sighed, rolling my eyes with puckered lips. “Let’s talk about how I’m goin’ to New York in the next five hours.”
“Talia!” Maria jumped at her voice, causing us both to laugh before Nadia ranted on. “Didn’t you just get over one life crisis already? The hell you goin’ over there for?”
“Well excuse the hell outta’ me, I see somebody’s in need of some coffee,” I scrunched up my face as I handed her a menu lying next to me. Her eyes glared at me before she snatched it and began to scan through it. With a childish grin, I pointed at new flavor on the menu. “Try the Belize Cappuccino.”
Nadia tried her hardest not to roll her eyes and give me a scowl as she started to take interest in the tropical advertisement of the drink, but soon failing when she finally looked at me. It never failed; trying to distract her is about the easiest thing to do. Between her and Maria I believe she had the quickest attention span of a fly, which is probably why she’s always trying ‘pay attention’. It never works though. Her eyes scanned mine; I busted out in a slight cackle.
“You not one ounce of shit,” Nadia noted, pointing her neon pink acrylic at me. I ceased my laughter, watching her through tear filled eyes as she gave me her infamous death glare.
“Remind me to do this more often.” I rubbed my eyes and took a glance at my phone. A text from my dad popped up—something unlike him.
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“Why you makin’ that face,” at the sound of her question I looked up.
“Huh? Oh,” I shook my head and replied,
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“Nah, my dad texted me—“she cut me off.
“Mr. Ramos can text?!”
“It’s Mr. Williams, and yes,” I answered, shaking my head once more. “It’s just an abnormal thing for him to do.”
“He must be excited to see you and the little one, ya know?”
I paused. My eyes never leaving my phone.
“Weeelllll about that…”
When I finally grew the courage to look at her, the face she gave me was priceless. Mouth agape, eyes wide—she gave Maria a look over before doing a double take at the both of us.
“You aren’t taking her? Uh,” she smacked her lips, “may I ask for the fuck why?”
“Stop cussin’ in front of my baby.”
She sucked her teeth, “answer the question Talia.”
I sighed before putting my phone back on the table. A waitress came to our table, my eyes pleading with her to stay just for a while—anything to distract Nadia.
“My I get your order ma’am,” the waitress asked her, pulling out her notepad. She was a cute girl, shorter than me with tawny skin and curly hair. “We have two new flavors, the Belize and Hawaiian Cappuccino.”
Nadia glared at me before giving the waitress a warm smile. “Uhm, I’d like to try the Belize Cappuccino please, hold the whip cream,” she finished, handing her the menu. When the waitress walked away, her eyes were back on me. “Now explain.”
“Chaos wanted to watch her this week, but you know how day care is set up and all that, soo I told him he could watch her for the weekend,” I explained, wincing up my face as if it would help me from any of her backlash.
“Does he know you’re goin’ to New York? A whole thirty billion miles away?”
“It is not that far, and he’s her uncle I’m pretty sure he can handle it.”
“Has even taken care of kids before?”
I sighed. “How would I know Nadia? All I know is that I’m trusting him with his niece for two whole days.”
“And you see no problem in that?”
“He said he was free this weekend, Nadia.”
“The streets don’t know what bein’ free for the weekend is,” I had to pause and gather myself when I heard that come out of her mouth because she was serious. Legit serious. It was taking everything in me to not fall out on the floor.
“You a trip,” I shook my head, pointing my index at her. “Dad wants me to come up there for the weekend and help someone’s PR team come up with some designs for some merch.”
“Extra guap?”
I nodded, taking a sip out of my latte. “I don’t know who it is tho’, that’s what’s killin’ me. Like how am I supposed to have an idea of what I wanna do if I don’t know who it is?”
 “It could be because he don’t know himself.”
“Nadia, this is my father we’re talkin’ about.”
She paused before nodding her head. “True.”
“See,” I pointed out. “I just want everything to go smoothly and quickly. My baby gon’ be all by herself,” I pouted, looking over a day-dreaming Maria.
She looked so much like Christian it was downright disgusting. It was like he chewed her up and spit her out, ugh, I hated it. Those same, droopy lips and doll-like eyes paired along with those bushy eyebrows—it was like looking at his twin. They both even have this weird birthmark right above their bellybutton and the same two beauty marks on their ankles.
I miss him so much, I thought to myself.
“You could’ve just took her with you, but,” she shrugged her shoulders and flipped her hair over her shoulders. With wide eyes, she smashed her lips together and looked down at the table.  
“You shady ass,” I laughed, picking up a wadded up napkin and throwing it at her.
She scrunched her face and threw it back at me. With a sly smirk, she looked at my phone before asking,
“Now it would make sense if it was because of Mister Black Pyramid himself, because honey chile’,” she poked out her lips and started snapping.
“Snap,” Maria asks, snapping out of the little day-dream she was in. Nadia nods.
“Mhm, snap ‘cause yo mama bouta’ get that pip—“I cut her off by throwing more wadded up napkins at her.
“Shh! You corruptin’ my baby,” I rushed out in a whisper, looking around the quiet café before turning back to her with a scowl. “It’s not even like that, oh mah’ god, Nadia it was a year ago—it wasn’t even like that!”
“But he was diggin’ you,” she replied, smugly, her nails tapped against the cherry wood table as her lips smashed together.
“And who’s to say he wasn’t? But nothin’ happened so…”
“Now let’s be honest if you was single you woulda’ been bouncin’ all—“
“And here is your Belize Cappuccino miss,” the waitress caught us both off guard as she plopped the giant blue glass down in front of Nadia.
“Uh,” astonished at the amount of whipped cream it had, Nadia nodded at the waitress uttering a, “thanks,” before waiting for her to walk away.
“Do you swallow or spit,” I asked, my lips forming a coy smirk.
Her eyes rose from the cup to meet mine—her eyebrows raised as her mouth opened. She pulled her head back and placed a hand on her chest before giving me the same smirk back.
“Hasn’t Chris asked you that already?”
“See this what we not gonna do,” I mused, grabbing my purse. “You know good and well I don’t see anybody like that.”
She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink. “But if that right person comes along then you betta’ hop on it,” she said in between sips of her drink.
“Can I at least get over Christian first,” I asked, “I can’t just hop on to someone like that, and you know that.
“I’m not sayin’ it like that, I just wanna see you happy.” She pointed at Maria. “She makes you happy, no?”
“Duh, it’s my child.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course she makes me happy.”
“Okay, well I wanna see you happy with someone else besides her,” she said, shifting Maria in her lap as though she were heavy.
“I wanna be happy period,” I replied. I scooted towards the end of the booth, rising from my seated position, stretching. “Listen, I know you’re lookin’ out for me, but I got some things to get through first, okay?”
“You know I want you to be happy, no matter what.”
“I know. Now gimme my child so I can head to this old man’s house.”
 The ride over to Chaos’ wasn’t too long. He said he had moved to a new area two years ago. The scenery wasn’t its usual tenet buildings and corner stores but more elaborate fresh markets and name-brand gas stations. Especially the people who lived here—white, but middle class white, like the ones who could afford to shop at Target and not get the off brand things.
His house was over in Glen Lake, a condominium with houses that could have well been mansions. He told me he lived on Jordan Street, way far in the back—and when he said way far back, he really meant it.
It wasn't a mansion, or a penthouse. But a traditional styled home, like one you'd see off of TV.
The exterior of the house alone held many architectural details, giving it this cozy facade but inside it was the total opposite. Its rock stone material was a beige color while the roof was bluish-grey.
From here you could see the blue curtains draped over the windows, making it impossible to see inside and beside the house was an attached garage. Chaos wasn’t subtle with his cars, he had them all out to see—even the fancy ones he knew he wouldn’t dare drive.
I had texted him that I was parked out front. His only response was to, ‘come on in’.
But I was nervous. It had been awhile since I had walked inside of his home. Yeah it was three years ago in a different area, when we were all in a different space in our lives, but now it just gives me butterflies. Here I am, with his niece walking up to his brand new house with a brand new batch of possibilities waiting for me on the other side of the door.
That’s when I can hear Christian in the back of head saying, “you’ll live, now stop bein’ scary and go do it.”
I stood at the door with a sleeping Maria in my hands. Her sleeping bag and baby bag were in both of my hands; my only option was to ring his doorbell. After a few minutes of not getting a response, I believe my finger permanently stayed on his doorbell until I got a very loud, “hold on! Shit!”
“Who the fu—“lo and behold, the man himself snatches the door open, his face reading irritation until he drops his gaze to the sleeping baby in my arms. “Oh shit,” he whispers, leaning down and taking her out of my arms. “Why you ain’t just call me?”
I nodded down to the bags in my hand, then pointing at Maria. “What could I have grabbed my phone with, my toes?”
He sucked his teeth. “You still mean.” He noted. He stepped to the side, opening the door more. “Come in, the couch is right behind me. You can put all that shit on there.”
I did as he said. Looking around, I noticed the place was really neat and organized—something out of character for Chaos, but then again, it’s been a few since I’ve last seen him.
“The place looks nice,” I complimented, hearing a door close behind me, I turned around and smiled up at him. “The black and gold color scheme suits you.”
“The black and gold color scheme really suits you,” he flipped imaginary hair over his shoulder as he mimicked me, making me flip him off. It only fueled the fire in which was indeed, Chaos. “What else are you gonna tell me? My beard brings out the color in my eyes?”
I cocked my head to the side, squinting my eyes at him. “Well if you trimmed it a lil’ on the sides—“
“Kitchen. Go, now.”
“What about Maria? Lay her down on the couch,” I said, reaching my hands out for her. “Gimme.”
After I laid her down, the walk to his kitchen was quick. It was the room over from the living room we were in. Victorian like drapes hung from the grand window in front of the sink. In the middle was the island, black marble sat atop with gold flecks in it. The cabinets were all matte black with gold handles and knobs. Chaos had positioned himself near the sink, back against it with his legs in front of him.
“You hungry?”
I shook my head, sitting on the barstool adjacent to the island. “No, we ate before we came, but thank you. Now what is it that we so desperately need to talk about?”
“Why you say it like that?” he asked, leaning back more to place his elbows on the counter. “I just wanted to know where you gon’ be at, damn, I can’t eem’ do that?”
I laughed, looking down at my hands. “Nah, I thought it was gon’ be somethin’ serious, but my father wants to see me.”
“And you not takin’ lil bit?”
For whatever reason I couldn’t tell him that my father’s only seen pictures of her. Or gotten the occasional Face Time and one on one with her. Nadia doesn’t even know that and she’s the one who knows everything; even before I know it. Plus I already have enough explaining to do when I get over there, I didn’t feel like doing it now.
“No,” I muttered, leaning forward in my chair. “I’m gonna be busy… as well as he is, so there’d be no time, really.”
“So you tellin’ me…” he started, pushing himself off of the counter all while walking over to me. “Yo daddy ain’t go nobody, family, or nothin’ to watch her while you there n’ shit?”
“Do you not wanna watch her?”
“Now did I say that? Nah I was just askin’ ‘cause I know he’d probably wanna spend time wit’ his granddaughter. Ain’t you got some family up there too?”
“Just my father and his mom. So nah, because she lives all the way in Long Island, plus it would just be a hassle to do multiple things at once and watch her.”
“So you just goin’ up there for the weekend? No loungin’ wit Robyn or nun’?”
Shaking my head at his Robyn comment, I let out a chuckle and placed my hands on the counter.
“One, Robyn is not at all in New York. She’s doing something with Puma this month so she’s across the country. And two, yes, just for the weekend to work on some merchandise for this celebrity, probably some simple graphics and sketches. Before you ask, no, I don’t know,” I finished, placing my hands together and bringing them closer to my chest.
“Okay… You excited to go? See ya peeps’ n’ shit.” he raised an eyebrow as he drummed his fingers on the counter, causing me to narrow my eyes at his fingers; an action that made him slowly stop.
“Eh, it’s just for work so I can’t be overly excited, ya know? Not like I’m gonna be goin’ out n’ shit,” I unclasped my hands to wave one off in the air before intertwining them back together. “If that’s all you wanted to know then… anything else you wanna talk about?”
Our eye contact was very sporadic, it would break and rejoice. In this one moment, we rejoiced, catching the looks of nervousness and nostalgia all in one before breaking it again.
“You seein’ anybody?”
When I tell you I almost lost a lung in this man’s kitchen, I was hacking away. I’m pretty sure I scared him, only because he got me a glass of water and damn near forced me to drink it all until I calmed down.
As I regulated my breathing, I raised an eyebrow at him. “Where the hell did that question come from?”
“It was just a question, I ain’t mean anything by it.”
“Well…” I hesitated. For the life of me I don’t why I did. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. “No, I haven’t really been in the head space to even think about anyone else.”
I miss my baby. Three years without him feels like it’s been thirty. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts about him that I can’t seem to think about anybody else. If I’m not thinking about him, it’s Maria, and if not her, the possibility of them being together in this sad, depressive fantasy I always have of him actually being here.
In my hesitation, my mind raced a mile of minute. The question being bestowed upon me made me feel some type of way. One, I didn’t know where the question could be coming from. It could have been coming from a curious state or one trying to barge into my life. And two, coming from my lover’s brother, it makes me feel like I’m being ridiculed for even thinking about somebody else.
“So you haven’t even tried to find somebody,” he asked, toying with the empty glass I left on the counter. “Not even a date?”
“Where is all of this comin’ from Chaos? No… I still catch myself wanting to text him when he’s coming over for movie night, for Christ sakes. How am I gonna even have the time to go on a date when I’m too busy watching a child? Do you hear how dumb you sound when you ask that question,” I took in a deep breath when I realized how fast I was talking. It didn’t hit me that I had started to tear up, until I wiped at my left eye and saw a wet mark on my index.
I hadn’t realized I wasn’t looking at him either; my hands were in my gaze until I forced myself to stare at him.
His hands were up in a defensive state as he shook his head. “I was just askin’ lil bit, I ain’t mean to make you upset or nun’.”
I shook my head and swiped a hand down my face, all I could do was sigh and close my eyes for a second before popping them back open.
“Listen,” I said, “it’s not your fault… I’m sorry for calling you dumb. I’m just going through some things right now.”
“You know you can always talk to me.” He opened his arms. “Now c’mere, you big ass baby.”
“I ain’t no baby,” I retorted. I rose from the barstool, and walked over to him before getting engulfed in his long arms. “Let me go kiss my baby goodbye, I gotta go get my stuff.”
  I had never been in my apartment by myself for this long. Maria was either at day-care or Nadia’s around this time. I was usually at work, getting ready to go on my lunch break with this girl named Paula. She had recently transferred from a graphics company from Minnesota and instantly fit right in. It had only been a week or so before we introduced ourselves and by the next week, we had established lunch dates together.
After that I’d head back to work for three more hours. Probably finishing up a web design or doing some clothing mock-ups for a local business.
And still—that sounds way better than sitting in my apartment until one o’clock.
When I got in, I knocked right out. I mean sprawled out on my couch, legs all over the place with my head hanging halfway off for a good hour. Still, I woke up and realized I had two more hours to spare so in good efforts to not end up in a rut, I pulled out my laptop and opened up Photoshop and Illustrator.
When I initially started working with the thought of being a graphic designer, I always thought of it to be an odd job. Especially with few women in the field, it made me question it even more. But as I got older, I grew to have a love for computers and art. Problem: I couldn’t draw; but I took a summer course my junior year of high school on Graphic Communications and got taught the true meaning of being a graphic designer.
With months of practicing and training, by the time I was sixteen I had a certification in three Adobe Programs: Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign. My first ever job in graphics was working at this rinky dink store in lower east Manhattan called Dan’s Shirts where you could get anything design you wanted on a shirt; literally. If I wasn’t making the designs, I was screen-printing them all. Once I hit the age of eighteen, I was working over in Brooklyn with a guy who made banners and signs; way more money coming in on that end. Still, I did side jobs for extra cash. Making flyers for parties, covers for mixtapes—I wasn’t well known, but I still was doing something I enjoyed.
Now I have a career out of it. I don’t have to hustle anymore to make ends meet. The life I have now is something I didn’t think I’d ever have when I was younger.
I didn’t think I’d even get this far when Christian disappeared.
So I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me with Maria because without her I wouldn’t be here nor busting my ass to provide her better life.
Are you proud of me? I thought to myself as I allowed my eyes to get adjusted to the bright screen.
My censor moved and clicked around, looking for files hidden in folders I hadn’t opened in weeks. When the name loverboy popped up, I clicked on it hastily. When it opened, five documents popped into Photoshop, each still the same as I left them.
Christian would let me practice my photography skills on him sometimes. It could be something as simple as an innocent selfie, or a full blown photo shoot at times. This particular set of photos was a photo shoot I had done with him in this vintage Cadillac… right before he went missing.
When he was still here, he said he wanted me to make him, “look like a Calvin Klein model.” So I let him pick where he wanted to be shot at and when we arrived at that car lot, I looked over at him with a skeptical look, asking him, “you wanna shoot… here?” It was in that moment I had never seen him so sure of something in his life.
We had only gotten up to five photos because it started raining. So I had no other photos to choose from nor edit—then he went missing. And the rest is history, until I catch myself staring at them and realizing how much he really meant to me.
I closed out the document.
Before I could start looking for old projects to work on, my phone dinged, causing me to dig it out of my pocket and look at it.
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My eyes squinted at the unknown number. A chill ran down my spine as I looked around my dim living room. Only light on was the light coming from my kitchen above my stove. Other than that, my living room was only receiving light from the open blinds.
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My hands were trembling as I shut my laptop and ran into my room. I don’t think I had even given myself time to breathe until I jumped square in the middle of my bed with my pocket knife in my hand.
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I gripped my pocket knife tighter against my chest. My knees were pulled to my chest as I looked around my room nervously. It was like all of my senses were on ten; my ears were picking up on cars that probably weren’t even in front of my complex. Everything I touched felt ten times more real than what it was—I couldn’t process a single thought.
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I didn’t even get a chance to send a second text.
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“Oh hell no…” I mumbled, screenshoting the text thread before deleting it all together. My body shook, hands shaking as I tried to dial Nadia’s number before giving up with a cry of distress. Instead I just sent her the screen shots and prayed she’d respond telling me she was playing around with me or some shit.
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My endless banging never ceased. The outside of my fist started to ache and turn beet red, but I never let up. I was in such a daze I had no idea how I even ended up back in front of this very door—but I knew I had a mission to plan and I needed answers.
“Yo, aye hol’ up—“his voice came from the other end until he snatched the door open. “Lil’ bit? Why you bac—“
I pushed right past him. Tunnel vision clouded me. All of my sensibilities and common sense had left an hour ago. Endless possibilities of murder and screaming filled every nerve in my body until I was forced to face it.
“Talia,” his voice rang in my ear, I could feel his hand touch my elbow.
I turned around to face him. The look of discomfort and confusion wiped across his face. His eyebrows were furrowed as he toyed with his bottom lip with his teeth, three wrinkles found there place on his forehead.
“Where is he Chris?”
My lips snarled up as he looked taken back.
“Who—wha—where is who?” he asked, scrunching up his face and shaking his head.
Snatching my phone from my back pocket, I unlocked it and shoved it right in his hands.
“Where the hell is he and don’t lie to me,” enclosing the space between us, I looked up at him and watched as his eyes scanned the thread. “Chris!”
“What?!” He yelled. His eyes scanned the thread once more as he stuck my phone back out to me. “I… I don’t know what to tell you Talia, that could be anybody.”
I shook my head, snatching my phone away from him “Oh shut the fuck up wit’ that lame ass excuse!”
“Who you getting’ buck wit’?” he asked, “’cause I know you ain’t ‘bout to act an ass while your child is here.”
In that moment, my eyes snapped over to the flat screen television flashing bright lights. Some kids show was on; but my eyes landed on Maria sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by her toys—lost in the world of colors and shapes.
“Now we can take this in the kitchen.” He pointed at Maria. “See her? Ion’t think you want her to see you like that.”
“Ion’t think you wanna see what the hell is gon’ happen if you don’t tell me what the hell is goin’ on.” I cautioned. “Who else knows about him being missing Chris? Because as far as I know it’s only a few who really do.”
With a look over to Maria, Chaos grabbed my elbow and forced me into the kitchen with him. Upon entering, he roughly tore his hand away before placing a hand on my shoulder and shoving me towards the island.
With my left hand, I tore his hand off of me and took a step away.
“Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”
“Crazy?” I paused, gathering myself before I said anything stupid. “I got some random ass person stalkin’ me and tellin’ me Christian’s alive and you got the fuckin’ audacity my nigga to say that to me right now?” I asked, “Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”
He rolled his eyes, mashing his lips together. “Talia that’s not the point, you takin’ it—“I cut him off.
“I ain’t takin’ nothin’ out of context Chris, facts is facts, and the fact is that someone is lyin’ to me!”
“Who?” he yelled. “You ain’t think I’m wonderin’ where this shit comin’ from too?”
“You sure as hell ain’t actin’ like it!”
“If I knew who this was, my brother woulda’ been back by now,” he smacked his hands on the counter. “Stop makin’ it seem like you the only one lost, ‘cause I don’t know shit either!”
I paused. Speechless—I had nothing left to say. My anger had gotten the best of me and it resulted in me not thinking clearly on what exactly I wanted to say.
“See?” he pointed at me. “Jumpin’ to conclusions n’ shit, stop doin’ that shit.”
“How Chris?” I retorted back, banging my fist on the counter. “One minute I’m chillin’ on my couch and the next I’m getting’ told my boyfriend is still alive and that I’m basically bein’ lied too, now c’mon, what you want me to do? Be rational? ‘Cause being rational ain’t getting’ me nowhere, now is it?”
“Ain’t nobody sayin’ you gotta do anything, but stop thinkin’ everybody know what’s goin’ on.”
“We were the only people who knew he went missin’! How the hell am I not gon’ think you niggas don’t know what’s goin on?” He rolled his eyes at that, smacking his lips before retorting with,
“Because we don’t!”
Time stopped right there for me. The feeling of defeat wrapped me in a blanket made from anger and I let it suffocate me. I let the suffocation of anger and fear fill my chest as I weighed down my options of either, arguing more, or, letting the situation rock because it was now out of my control.  
“Bullshit…” I mumbled, shaking my head. “Listen, I just—I don’t know anymore.” My mouth slowly closed as I ran a hand through my hair. Chest rising up and down, I brought both hands together and intertwined my fingers.
“Don’t you gotta be at the airport?”
I snapped my head up in his direction before putting my gaze back on my hands.
“Yeah,” I answered, unlocking my hands and palming the counter under them.
I had a bitter taste in my mouth. My eyes threatened to leak—but I wasn’t going to do that. I wouldn’t allow him to see me break as such. Anger had me in its grip and I knew I needed to leave before I resorted into my hands speaking for me.
Shaking my head, I pushed my body away from the counter and without another word walked out of the kitchen with Chaos right on my heels. I could feel his bulky body inches from mine, but he soon stopped following me when he saw where I was headed.
“Hey mija,” I cooed towards her, picking her up off of the plush carpet. Her little arms wrapped around my neck in excitement as she left slobbery kisses on my face.
“Mommy’s gonna go, okay?” I whispered to her. Our noses touched as I placed a peck on her lips—a smile graced her tiny face. “I love you.”
As I placed her down, the sound of Chaos clearing his throat made me regret everything about today. With one last look at Maria, I turned towards him but walked for the door until he grabbed my forearm before I could reach the door handle.
“What?”
He sucked his teeth. “Don’t act like that.”
“Listen,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I have to go, make sure my baby is taken care of Chris.”
His eyes widen at the sound of his name before a short, forced, chuckle left his lips. He nodded before shaking his head and letting go of my arm.
“Have a safe trip.”
I couldn’t speak anymore. So I just walked out.
 Below the spectrum of depression is what I like to call “numbness”. Hence, you feel like you exist, but nonetheless, you still manage to feel like you’re in limbo. To you, there is no other reason to feel joy or the happiness you might want to have later on. In that state, it’s easy for you to misguide yourself and wonder what it would be like if you simply, weren’t there.
Would this have happened if I were never here?
If we never met, would he still be here?
If my life no longer mattered, would his fate still be altered?
My mind raced for some reasonable possibilities to keep my dark thoughts away. But each possibility matched one of my depressive thoughts—I wanted a drink. I wanted the biggest bottle of Chardonnay this plane had and I wanted it lodged down my esophagus.
But you’re better than that, I thought to myself.
My tongue laid flat against the roof of my mouth as I gnawed at my bottom lip. I let my acrylics tap on the glass window next to me, not caring if I annoyed anybody. For the time being I needed something, anything, to distract me from the oncoming wave of destruction I wanted to cause.
Chaos texted me shortly after I had arrived to the airport. Never knew the man to be such the novelist.
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At the time of the text I hadn’t cared for him as much. Even now, I still don’t wish to speak to him. Call me childish or anything you’d like but I won’t surround myself with people who think of such situations as me playing a pity party for myself. Never have I once came to him with anything about his brother that wasn’t worthy of his knowledge.
Besides Maria, at least.
Now that this bombshell is on my plate, I’m lost for words on what to do. The person knows where I live, they know about Christian, so what else do they know? What don’t they know, is honestly the scarier part to me. Just the thought of Christian being out there alive and not knowing, or knowing a small fragment of what’s happened since he’s been gone makes me sick at it.
What if he knows?
What if he doesn’t? How much will it affect us?
With all the what if’s and not’s. With all the how’s and why’s—I still get nervous at the latter possibility. I get downright queasy with the thought of having to see him in a wooden box before I got the chance to tell him that I love him.
Before I could suck myself into a deeper hole, the plane shook with slight turbulence. Seconds later, the pilot announces,
Flight One-Eighty, you have arrived at JFK.
A smile of relief found my face. I envisioned the look of my father’s face when he sees me. I had so much to tell him, especially with Maria, I just hoped he held as much enthusiasm as I did.
So when the plane landed and I gathered my bags and walked off with the other passengers—my phone dinged twice.
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