#its still so odd to me whenever I'm called my real name on here

[infinite-ticking-clock37]

happy birthday alex! have a great day

Heheheh yayy thanks buddyy =]

[lazyblueghost]

Introduction

Welcome to my blog. A friend of mine suggested this website, showed me the ropes, and now I'm here. Since I haven't used my real name in decades, you can just call me Blue. I am a witch that died centuries ago, and long story short my soul was transferred to a doll's body after being infected with a disease that was created by a Lovecraftian nightmare hellbent on making Earth part of its body. I am ready to do this...blog thing. Also, if you notice anything odd just ignore it.

OOC: I stream whenever I can, but when I do I try to stream on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8 p.m. I like to play old and indie games so if that is your thing come on by my Twitch. I also occasionally post videos on my YouTube as well :)

I also have a summary of Blue's backstory if anyone wants to read it. Just know that It's long and it's told from Blue's perspective.

RULES: -Please be 18+, I'm not a Lewdtuber by any means but I still don't feel comfortable with minors following me.

-Please don't ask personal questions (e.g. where I live, how old I am, etc). Some questions are fine but the real personal ones I just won't answer.

-Obviously don't be rude, hateful, yatta yatta you should know how to act like a decent person by now.

-When I post art, all I ask is to not have them reposted anywhere. I know my art isn't amazing but I still want to say it just in case. I'll add any more if I remember anything else, brain no work o(-<

[cave-monkey]

Late-night sleep-deprived babbling where I talk about being confused by Yu's choice to say "why don't you drop the matter" and it goes on for paragraphs:

Why say "why don't you let this matter drop now"? What is he talking about? Monkey King was the one to bring this topic up in the first and Tripitaka has barely said anything. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense in English to use this phrase here. After puzzling over it for a bit, I think he's trying to convey that Monkey King is just trying to say "Psh, yeah right" to Tripitaka's assertion that he won't use the spell again, but it's not super clear. In that case I'd guess that what Monkey King was after here was just to make it known to Tripitaka that he knows Tripitaka is going to do this and he just doesn't want Tripitaka lying to himself or Monkey King about it ("drop it" = "stop kidding yourself"), just to make sure there are no misunderstandings in the future and they both know the situation they're in. Namely: That they both know Monkey King's still wearing a leash that Tripitaka can yank whenever he likes and he's going to make sure they're both aware of it and pissed about it. A parting jab more than anything, or potentially a last ditch attempt to get Tripitaka to reconsider by throwing in his face that they're connected no matter what. I mean, hey, it worked earlier. "Drop the matter" would then be about the whole banishment subject in its entirety, which still doesn't make a ton of sense in its placement, since both of them have already been talking like the banishment is a done deal before this. They've moved on already to hammering out details.

(Or maybe he's trying to manipulate him into doing what Tripitaka does in the very next paragraph with the official letter of remediation, which, considering how much the thing upsets Sun Wukong, would be a pretty ruthless and calculating thing to do to his own feelings, but necessary for self-preservation.)

The other possibility I can think of is that he's telling Tripitaka that they both know this is how it's going to go down and "drop the matter" is meant to convey that he's not manipulating him, but straight telling him (in a sort of snide way) that he needs more assurance than Tripitaka's word that he won't reel him back in the second the going gets tough. And since this is still something that greatly upsets him, is still pretty ruthless with his own feelings. Also still a really odd use of that phrase in English.

Overall, though, no matter what he means by that last line, Yu's version feels more biting and harsh. The Great Sage is hurt but he shows it with his teeth. It feels more like a simmeringly-hostile business discussion. The behavior of someone clinging to civility by their fingernails in the office of a divorce attorney (/non-romantic). think I prefer this version, since, to me, it makes the later emotional collapse when he's out of sight and the in-control warlord exterior drops and he's just sad hit harder.

Jenner's, comparatively, is the polar opposite. Monkey King bites in the previous paragraph and then abruptly softens when Tripitaka stiffens. He feels far more earnest and sincere as he builds up to the final line, which is a heartbreakingly gentle but firm outlining of what it would take to end Sun Wukong's debt and, subsequently, their entire relationship ("Call for me if you need me, and I'll come...but then we're done."), or a statement of his willingness to mend the relationship in the future, if in a maybe sort of insulting way. ("Listen, kid, when you realize you've been wrong about all of this and you do need me, here's my number, but also when I come back I expect all the power in the relationship to transfer back to me, m'kay? None of this silly moral outrage business. Good talk.") I'm not convinced about that one, though. The only real agreement in these lines between translations is in the idea of "dropping" or "never again", so I really do think he's angling for a clean break. Also it sort of ruins the "sad dog in rain dejectedly but nobly enduring unjust treatment" mood Jenner seems to be going for. Kind of funny to consider, though.

And of course, no matter what he's meant to be saying here, Tripitaka gets angry, I imagine at either being straight-up called a liar in Yu's version (which, fair), or, in Jenner's, at Sun Wukong's continuing in his very sincere total lack of confidence in Tripitaka and his remaining disciples' ability to survive without him. (Truth hurts, I guess.)

So part of Yu's translation confused me, prompting me to go dig up my Jenner books because sometimes looking at multiple different versions helps clarify matters. It did not actually clarify anything, but I thought the wildly different ways each translator handled this section was interesting.

“...There’s only one thing left for us to settle, and that’s the Tight-Fillet Spell.” The Tang Monk said, “I won’t recite that again.” “That’s hard to say,” said Pilgrim. “For when the time comes for you to face those treacherous demons and bitter ordeals, and when you, because Eight Rules and Sha Monk cannot rescue you, think of me and cannot stop yourself from reciting it, I’ll have a headache even if I’m one hundred thousand miles away. I’ll have to come back to see you, so why don’t you let this matter drop now.” -Yu, Revised translation, Kindle

And:

"I won't recite it again," said Sanzang. "You shouldn't say that," replied Monkey. "If you're ever beset by evil monsters from whom you can't escape, and if Pig and Friar Sand can't save you, then think of me. If it's unbearable, say the spell. My head will ache even if I'm tens of thousands of miles away. But if I do come back to you, never say it again." -Jenner

It's like...*chin in hands* Huh.

[houseboatisland]

I'm rather curious for your own takes on Thom Thom~✨💙

Edit credit to @/ComradeOpThomas from Twitter, this is my ideal Thomas!

(Season 5 Thomas is the best Thomas, I don’t make the rules)

I started this hoping for it not to become a whole biography, but it just kept pouring out of me, so here's a very, very long post indeed lol

Thomas is NOT an L.B.S.C.R. E2 Class. He’s actually a unique design born to the North Western Railway in its earliest days… and in remarkably sad circumstances.

When the Railway Executive Committee first took over in August 1914, they were repulsed at the state of the Sudrian railways. Here were several argumentative companies operating in isolation from one another, with geriatric engines and stock, and one of them hadn't even run a train or maintained its permanent way since the start of the century. A key agenda item of the R.E.C.'s was a continuous, efficient railway system to quickly move men and materiel to the Island's eastern coast were Ireland to side with Kaiser Bill against John Bull. The existing standard gauge railways would have to be more or less torn up and rebuilt from scratch, and several new miles of track laid in to make for a single fluid network.

This required, among other things, many new engines. Several came over the Channel as and when could be spared by the Mainland, but as it became increasingly clear that the war would not be over "by Christmas," this wasn't an ideal long-term solution. The R.E.C. was especially upset that it had to put so many of its tender engines onto construction trains when their strength could be better used on other work. Two tank engines off the former Wellsworth and Suddery Railway, No. 1 "Short" and No. 2 "Stumpy" were by now nearing fifty years old, and exhausted mechanically.

The R.E.C., out to keep costs down and use resources to the fullest, ordered the N.W.R. to scrap these two engines and use the best parts of each to create one new engine. Measurements were taken, plans were hastily drawn up, and Short and Stumpy were quietly cut up in January 1915. Several fittings were made new for what odds and ends neither engine could contribute a usable part. The resulting new engine was "Thomas," who was put to work fresh off the shop floor.

Thomas at this point became the N.W.R.’s No. 1 quite by accident. He was the first engine to be built at Crovan’s Gate, and the REC misinterpreted this on his builder’s plates as an intention by the N.W.R. TO make him No. 1. So when Thomas gained his number, the R.E.C. and the N.W.R. both assumed this was deliberate by one another. And it was just too much of a hassle and too unimportant to change, so No. 1 he stayed.

As for his name, Thomas is named after Thomas Reginald Payne, the North Western Railway's first Chief Mechanical Engineer. Payne had made Thomas' construction a reality, from drawing up his blueprints to supervising his piecing together. Payne, who was CME from 1914 to his death in 1951, never forgot this connection to "his" engine, and often wanted to be on the shop floor whenever Thomas was in for repairs.

Thomas’ “infancy” was in a word, harsh. He was working around the clock, surrounded by engines who came and went, and did little if any socializing. Foremen were ordering him about at every turn. His first friend ever was the new N.W.R. No. 2, Edward, the former Wellsworth and Suddery Railway’s No. 5 and only tender engine, who knew his old crewmates were chopped up to make Thomas. Thankfully, Edward knew better than to let Thomas in on this, lest he give him some sort of existential crisis, and he made quick work of making himself a mentor to the little engine.

In these conditions, Thomas’ “cheeky” and anti-authoritarian streak took shape. His whole life thus far had been work and taking lumps from his superiors, most of whom were English and not Sudrian. This morphed into a disrespect for big engines, who wanted him to be their errand boy as construction work began to ebb and focus shifted to running trains. Ever the contrarian, Thomas only doubles down on his disrespect for tender engines when he finds out that that’s “the traditional order of things.” Edward is of course exempt from this attitude, but in his tensest moments Thomas can even lose patience with HIM momentarily.

The war finally ends. January 1919 sees the N.W.R. out to make an identity for itself as peacetime takes hold and Parliament quietly rumbles about Grouping or outright Nationalization. Thomas is the first engine to wear "Hatt Blue with Red Stripes," the company's planned standard livery. This isn't unique to him for long, however, and Thomas' new line of work from hereon is Station Pilot for Vicarstown. Needless to say this is upsetting to him. He's not moving up and down the Island like he was when building the railway. He's still rushed off his wheels. He's expected to be answerable to tender engines as he makes up their trains. Most importantly, he's still having as much difficulty as before to make time to make friends. This new job is in every respect everything Thomas could have wanted to avoid, and there's no telling if he'll ever even get out of it. January 1919 is thus where "Wants to See the World" Thomas begins.

Thomas still gets to see Edward regularly, and he is for a pinch joined by two other tank engines shunting at Vicarstown. They're also ex-Wellsworth and Suddery Railway, Nos. 3 and 4 "Edwin" and "Victor." Thomas befriends Victor, who is a friendly old joker, but dislikes Edwin who has become cranky in his old and as a 2-4-0T has a tendency to slip and not be of much help. They leave him too, in 1922, when The Fat Director relocates them to run other branchlines on the Island. So, 1922 onward, we meet Thomas as the sole pilot, thoroughly busy and thoroughly lonely.

This seems more or less canon, but The Fat Director probably sent Thomas to Wellsworth after his runaway with Edward's trucks in anticipation of giving him the Ffarquhar Branch once he was a matured engine. He didn't give Thomas the line just because he rescued James in fine style, that was really what made his mind up.

Thomas looks kindly enough on Henry as a big engine at this time, he and Edward as mentioned aren't necessarily the kinds of "Big Engines" he dislikes. He'll occasionally give him a tease or two, or lose patience with his health, (something he now deeply regrets years later,) but there's no real malice in it. Think of him as the little brother poking fun at his bigger brother for having one arm in a cast, but altogether still feeling sorry for him and accommodating him how he can. Henry for his part appreciates Thomas, but takes his teasing very seriously considering how sensitive and implicating it is to, you know, his whole existence.

My idea of Thomas' relationship with Gordon is heavily inspired by @/mean-scarlet-deceiver's: Thomas is initially awed by Gordon's arrival and finally confident the N.W.R. can survive, but quickly resents him when he shows his true colors as a "big engine" through and through. I wouldn't even call Gordon and Thomas "friendly" until their alliance at Toryreck Mine. From 1923 all the way up to then, depending on when you place it, they... legitimately dislike each other. There's no affection beneath all the ribbing and jibes, they ACTUALLY disliked each other that whole period of time.

I'm still hashing out my headcanon of 98462 and 87546, (just know that those aren't actually their numbers,) but it's safe to say Thomas hates their guts, and '62 and '46 hate his guts in return as a servant willing to speak up for himself.

Thomas and James were a couple from 1924 to 1933, when they broke up amid the Big Engine Strike. I'd really rather reserve this for a post of its own at a later date.

Thomas and Percy are good friends, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them "best friends" like the TVS has so often hammered in. They clearly come to blows whenever the tension's too much. I like to explain that away as a shift in Thomas' character. With him doing more passenger work as Percy and Toby handle the stone trains, and his increasing fame, Thomas begins looking down on Percy, not long after he transferred to Ffarquhar in 1955 in fact. This might also have to do with unresolved feelings between them both. (Hey, remember that little green engine you kissed once just to try it over twenty years ago? He's your roommate now, probably forever. Play nice!)

[rikumorimachisgirl]

Title: Eyes on you

Pairing: Shaw x You

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,901

A/N: You (Y/N) are not the MC in MLQC. This is a plunny that's been bugging me for quite a while, I had to write it. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own MLQC or its characters, but I do own the concept of this fic.

There were a few mysteries in this world that the esteemed Archeology Graduate Professors at Loveland University can't explain - for instance, the formation of the Stonehenge, the exact location of the lost city of Atlantis, the origin of the Nazca lines… and your presence at the Metro Art Gala dressed to the nines, positively gleaming as you strode arm in arm with your classmate and Thesis partner Shaw, who seemed like the perfect gentleman that evening. Thanks to your work at the Loveland Museum, you scored two invites to the gala featuring the recently discovered works of a well-known artist - an event any Archeology fanatic wouldn't let pass. The two of you walked along with LFG's Exhibition Hall, pausing occasionally to admire one of the recently discovered sculptures by the Renaissance artist D'Romani. As you both looked at the intricacies of the artwork in front of you, your charming companion would lean in slightly and whisper something in your ear, causing you to roll your eyes or stifle a giggle. 

To the guests in the prestigious gala, the two of you looked like two young people at the cusp of falling in love, but the members of the Faculty of the Graduate School of Archeology saw it differently - this was a real-life mystery if they'd seen one. 

As your eyes swiftly swept through the entire room, you could see that your professors only had one question in mind - how'd this happen? How did two people as different as day and night, who argued with each other throughout Graduate studies, end up amiably enjoying each other's company tonight? 

You drew a sharp breath and sighed. The answer was simple: Your Thesis defense was right around the corner. You needed him to cooperate, you were willing to go to great lengths to make it happen. And your Thesis partner (unfortunately) was ready to take full advantage of the situation. 

***

"Tell me why we're doing this again, " you said through the door that separated you and your date, as you were putting on the dress you bought (or invested on, as he casually stated) for tonight's gala, which he insisted on attending with you. It was six in the evening on a Friday, and you had just arrived home after cramming your workload at the Loveland Museum and foregoing your meal breaks just so you could leave work at exactly five-thirty. 

"I already told you a couple of times - you want me to cooperate with you so you can pass our Thesis, and I need a reason to be around her," the purple-haired man waiting at the other side of your bedroom door called out nonchalantly. "You can drop your fantasy about me asking you out because I'm attracted to you."

You hissed silently at his snarky remark and counted to ten. You haven't even left your apartment yet you already wanted this night to be over. "How do you even know she's gonna be there?"

She - the Miracle Finder Producer, the object of your Thesis Partner's fantasies, and as fate would have it, his brother's girlfriend. 

"They're doing a show featuring our Thesis adviser. Didn't he tell us about it during our last consultation?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't listening," you shot back, as you took off your ponytail and started styling your hair with your curling iron. You chose a one-shoulder fitted black dress that stops right above your knees, so you thought of wearing your hair down for a change. 

"Ah, yes. You were too busy looking at your notes, trying to prove me wrong as always."

You closed your eyes, as you continued to make big beach waves and prayed to the gods you wouldn't commit murder tonight. 

"How much longer are you gonna take?"

"Excited much?" You asked, smirking while you now removed your glasses and put on your contacts. "You sound like a teenager excited to see his crush in a school fair!"

"Don't compare me to you!" 

"I don't have designs on anyone in the party," you called back. "Unless your brother's attending the event, that is. From what you've been telling me, he seems like a great guy."

Silence. You arched an eyebrow as you strained your ear to listen for any sign of life outside your bedroom door. What must your grunge-rock skater boy-turned-date-for-the-evening be thinking? 

"Do you want to pass our Thesis or not?"

You struck a victory pose at his remark. Finally, one point - you, Shaw - about twenty. 

"Are you done yet? This suit is really uncomfortable. Damn, why do people even wear these?"

"Because they're decent?" You shot back. "You know, you can always go home if you're not comfortable in your attire because when we get there, you need to act decent, too. Can't have your usual swagger in a formal affair."

"Just hurry it up already!"

You rolled your eyes as you applied your nude-colored lipstick to finish off your look before putting on your black stilettos, and stuffing your phone, wallet, and your makeup in your purse. 

"All done," you replied, as you finally emerged from your room. 

***

A part of you wished that the dynamics between you and Shaw were different. While he was a pain in the neck, and too carefree for his own good, you also thought he made for a good intellectual sparring partner, quite attractive, and it was hard to deny that he's got your heart beating double-time whenever he got too close for comfort like he was at that very moment. 

"My, you two kids seem to be having fun tonight."

You gasped, at the sound of the voice behind you, and you felt your date nudge you ever-so-subtly while straightening.

"Hey, Professor Adler," he said in his usual unruffled tone, his lips stretched into a smirk as he held his hand out to your Anthropology professor and Thesis adviser, who watched you both amusedly. His gesture made your eyes shot wide open, you thought they'd fall right off. Shaw shaking someone's hand? That's one for the books. 

"Shaw. Fancy seeing you here," the stout middle-aged man greeted while shaking your date's hand. "This isn't your usual scene though."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't exactly turn a pretty lady down, can I?" 

"I can see that," your professor said as he looked at you appraisingly. "Well, well, you clean up well, Miss (y/n)."

You fought the urge to squirm at the older man's words when you heard your date cluck his cheeks with his tongue and suddenly felt his arm around your shoulders, pressing you protectively close to his side. 

***

"All done!" You happily announced as you stepped into the living room of your small apartment where your date was impatiently waiting for you. 

You could've sworn he was stunned for a second or two before he shook his head and tried to regain his usual impassive expression. Finally, he stood and walked closer to assess you better. 

"You're not wearing your glasses. I thought you said you're practically blind without them?" 

You cocked your head to one side. Out of all the things he could've complimented or called out, that's the first thing he noticed? 

"Wouldn't it look awkward if I wore glasses to a formal event?"

"Your hair is all curly," he continued as if you didn't say anything. "And your shoes are so tall, won't you trip? Also, surely you have a jacket to go with that dress, right?" 

You stared at him in disbelief. Why did this carefree, bass-playing skater boy turn into your dad all of a sudden? 

"Uh…"

"Well, at least you're not wearing red lipstick. You don't have to try too hard to look sexy. Geez! I've got plans of my own this evening, so don't expect me to be your bodyguard," he continued to mumble as he circled around you. Before long, you felt something warm and heavy on your shoulder. His coat?

"It's just until we get to the venue," he shrugged as he led you to the car he borrowed for tonight. "I don't want people seeing you freeze to death."

You sighed, your shoulders slumped as you followed your date to the car. You already expected he wouldn't throw you a compliment for looking like a proper human tonight, and you cursed yourself for feeling gutted over it anyway. 

 ***

"So, which one of these sculptures did you like best, Professor?" You sighed in relief as Shaw changed the subject, his arm still wrapped around you, making you blush furiously. 

"Oh, I have to say I liked Eros and Psyche best. In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located a little further down the hall near the bar area," the older man was starting to explain when someone tapped his shoulder from behind. 

"Excuse me, Professor Adler," a gentle voice called out, making both the professor and Shaw jump. From behind the old man, a pretty petite with brown hair and big brown eyes, and the biggest smile on her face stepped up. "My name is MC from Miracle Finder."

Almost immediately, Shaw withdrew his arm around you, almost causing you to stagger backward. He straightened up and feigned disinterest. 

"Hey. It's a little rude how you stepped in while I was talking to the Professor," he said, his tone teasing. 

"Oh, I didn't notice you here. Do you mind if I talk to your Professor? We've invited him for an interview about the exhibit," the girl said sweetly. 

Based on how unconsciously coy she acted around Shaw, and the way he kept egging her, there was no doubt that this was the girl he was crushing on. You felt like the odd person out all of a sudden and needed to step away. 

You backed away slowly, careful not to rouse their attention because it would probably suck if you knew how Shaw would introduce you to his little crush. As soon as you were in a safe distance, you turned and walked aimlessly down the hall, pausing briefly at paintings or sculptures that caught your fancy, looking at its intricacies as you did so earlier. But somehow, it wasn't as fun as it was before, so you moved on quickly, to give way to the other guests who also wanted to view the artwork.

Finally, you came upon the bar and decided to rest your tired feet at the far corner, hidden from the rest of the world. Sighing, you slipped your feet off your stilettos and quietly watched as the guests around you - mostly couples - happily chatting away as they enjoyed the beauty of the art around them and the wonderful music that filled the air. You knew somewhere in the crowd, your date was fawning over his lady love, probably getting in the way of her filming your professor. 

Tch. 

You knew he liked her - he always told you he did. And why wouldn't he? MC was pretty, seemingly sweet, and dainty - the kind of girl any guy would like to protect. And you. You were the opposite. You lived for your work, were 'one of the boys', and didn't need anyone to protect you - that's just how you were - and now you started to realize that maybe guys don't exactly like that. At least not Shaw. 

Wait, what were you thinking? You scolded yourself as you shook your head. Why were you even thinking of what he liked when you don't even like him to start with. Or did you? 

"Ugh. What the hell is wrong with me?" You groaned when a cold bottle of beer and a frozen glass was placed in front of you. 

"I was gonna ask you that myself." 

You straightened up in your seat and shot a look at the guy seated beside you. Dressed in a nice grey suit, he smiled as he raised his beer bottle in front of you. 

"You look like you needed a drink. I hope the beer is okay. They don't have fruit beer or soda," he said calmly, his amber-colored eyes never leaving yours. 

"Y-yeah. Beer is perfect," you replied while pouring the amber liquid into the glass. "Thanks," you muttered before raising the glass to your lips to gulp down some liquid courage. 

"I saw you with Shaw earlier -"

The name on his lips drove you to a coughing fit, as you choked on your drink. "Sorry, " you mumbled in between coughs. 

"No, I'm sorry," the brown-haired guy said, as he cautiously and politely patted your back. "I didn't mean to bring that up. I was just curious."

"It's fine," you replied when you finally regained your composure. "Yes, we're just classmates in Grad school who decided to check this exhibit out for the heck of it."

"Classmates, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what we are," you said, taking a sip off your glass. "Grad school classmates."

"Are you telling me or telling yourself?"

You looked up and saw him smiling. There was something about Dreamy McHandsome who was seated beside you that felt so familiar yet different at the same time, but you couldn't point a finger at what it was exactly. 

"We're classmates, and we're working on our thesis together. But we're not friends - far from it even. We hate each other's guts."

"Can't blame you for doing so," he shrugged as he drank his beer. 

"Yeah. He dragged me here so he can get with someone he's been crushing on for so long," you rambled on, frowning. 

"Oh? And who might that be?"

"The Miracle Finder Producer. You know, the pretty girl in a blue top and white skirt. He's been going on and on about her for weeks…"

"You mean my girlfriend?" 

His girlfriend. You choked on your drink once again. "Y-y-your girlfriend? You mean to say…" You gasped. Has the beer made you stupid? You've barely drunk half of it, you thought as you fought to regain your dignity. This was Shaw's brother you were talking to - and boy, we're they blessed with good genes…

… And the same social awkwardness, you noticed, judging by how he kept his hand at your back, but not exactly touching it, as if trying to assess if he had to pat you or not. 

When you finally calmed down, he cleared his throat and gave you a small smile. "Don't worry. She talks to me about their conversations. I know what that guy is playing at, and I most definitely know he's not after my girl," he said, his voice broke no room for doubt. "My name is Gavin..."

"Yeah, I know…"

"You - what?"

"Oh," you said, tapping on your glass nervously. "Shaw kinda mentioned it in passing before."

"I see."

"So, what were you saying earlier about Shaw?"

"Oh. From what my girlfriend tells me, he's got his sights set on…"

"Ahem," you heard someone say loud enough for you and Gavin to turn your heads around. And there, standing behind you, was an angry-looking Shaw. You sat up, your gaze shifting between the two brothers as the air started to thicken with tension. "I talk to someone for a minute and the next thing I knew, my date walks out on me and right into the one person I'd hate for her to meet."

"Well, if you were just honest with her as with a lot of other things in your life, maybe she wouldn't have left your side earlier," Gavin retorted flippantly. "Is she finally done with filming?"

Shaw simply grunted in reply as he watched his older brother finish his bottle of beer and stand. "Well, Miss, there's a lot I've heard about you. Seems somebody couldn't stop talking about you, but I'll leave it at that." 

With a wink and a mischievous smile upon his face, the brown-haired guy sauntered off to look for his better half, as you and Shaw watched in awkward silence. 

He cleared his throat and glanced at you. "Hey."

"Hey," you replied, shakily. 

"So, about what that jerk said -"

"Yes?" You asked, feeling your heart hammer against your chest by the second.

"Whatever he said is not true," he said dismissively, as he took his coat off and draped it over your shoulders. "I told you before, I don't find you the least bit attractive."

You felt tears starting to sting your eyes, as he continued with his harsh commentary. "You're tough, highly opinionated, and you always want to come out on top. I don't find those attractive at all," he said. "I prefer a damsel in distress. I want someone clingy… someone, needy."

"I know that -"

"Oh do you?" He teased, his amber eyes twinkling. "You seem to know a lot about me."

"We've been working together for months now," you said. "Of course, I'd know more about you."

"I see," he said, as he took a step closer to you and touched your cheek, rubbing the stray tear that had managed to slip down the side of your face. "So, you must know I'm also a good liar. After all, I've kept all these feelings to myself for quite some time."

He snickered when he saw your frown deepen and he bent down just as he had done so earlier, to whisper. "I made you think I liked someone else when in fact," his low voice made you shiver. "I've always eyes for you."

The End.

[arknights-imagines]

Hello!! I just recently discovered your blog and I'm so glad I did! Your writing is so sweet 😭💕 This was reblogged a while ago, but if it's still okay, can I get the sentence starter "Well, hello sleeping beauty. You fell asleep on me.” with Silverash? Thank you so much in advance! I look forward to reading more of your writing 💖

Since these two are the same thing, I'm replying to them both with this imagine! ✨ I'm not sure if this is the same anon or two different ones, but either way tysm for the request and your nice messages 🥺 I hope you enjoy! 🌸

--------------------

“ well , hello sleeping beauty . you fell asleep on me . ” with SilverAsh

Imagine format; no real fixed perspectives, it switches from Doctor and SilverAsh!

Contains: SilverAsh, gender neutral Doctor, Implied established relationship, and Doctor being gentle with SilverAsh 🥺

Word count: just about 1.6k

--------------------

SilverAsh was quite the busy man; that was obvious to pretty much anybody. Between Karlan Trade Co., Rhodes Island, his affairs in Kjerag and other smaller occasions that called for his attendance, the Feline cherished any free time he had.

Usually, this free time was at night. But even so, he would use some time for leisure, but still left enough hours for enough sleep. Today was different, however.

SilverAsh, unfortunately, had business to attend to at night. Instead of reading or resting that evening, the Feline had sat in a Rhodes Island meeting room attending to conditions and contracts regarding Karlan Trade Co.; what was even less fortunate is that he wasn't able to go back to his room until past midnight.

He didn't get much sleep - his limbs ached from sitting in that dreaded meeting room for hours, and as soon as he finally began getting comfortable, the sun was up.

As much as he wanted to curl up under his covers and hide from the rest of the world, SilverAsh had responsibilities. In fact, he had business to attend to with the Doctor that morning.

At least, he figured, he'd get to see them. The Feline was sure he'd feel better once he saw them.

So, after dressing and washing up a little, SilverAsh left the comfort of his room, albeit it a little unwillingly, and began making it down to the Doctor's office. When he arrived, they beckoned him in with a smile, gathering some papers in their arms.

"Good morning SilverAsh!" Their voice energetic, they gave the Feline a small wave. Managing them a smile while biting back a yawn, SilverAsh walked over to plant a small kiss on the crown on their head, "Good morning, my dear. We have things to discuss today, if I'm not mistaken."

They nodded, "You're a bit late, but I was just on my way out. Follow me!" Grabbing one last paper from their desk, the Doctor headed past SilverAsh and toward the door. The Feline hid a small sigh, stretching out his stiff arms a little before turning around to catch up to the Doctor.

He never thought he'd find just walking so tiring, but by the time they got to the room they needed to be in, SilverAsh just felt more drained than he already was. He put that aside however; he needed to help the Doctor.

The Doctor needed the Feline for his input on a battle formation, which was nothing out of the ordinary. What was odd, however, was the fact that SilverAsh seemed noticeably tired; the Doctor needed both hands to count how many times he had yawned or stretched in the last 15 minutes. It wasn't their business, however - everyone got tired every now and then, especially the Doctor themselves, but it was a little odd to see SilverAsh act so drowsy. They were a little worried about his well being was all.

The pair was sat on the small lounge couch in the meeting room, papers and folders on the small table before them. Throwing around ideas and adjustments to the formations they were looking over, the air was comfortable as usual. When it was just them, like it was then, there was no need for formalities or an uptight attitude.

The Doctor stopped asking their questions for a second, blinking a little at the Feline sitting beside them. Watching as he stifled another small yawn, they hesitantly placed a hand to his shoulder, shaking just slightly. Their voice came concerned, "Are you alright?", but SilverAsh replied with a shake of his head, "Of course, don't worry about myself. Now, regarding this formation…"

He was quick to steer their conversation back to the formations, but the Doctor didn't miss the slight slump of his shoulders or how he'd close his eyes for a few seconds. They discussed plans and looked over papers for a little while longer; after some time, the Doctor cleared their throat, standing up. "I'm going to get something to drink. Would you like anything?" Rubbing at his eyes discreetly, the Feline nodded, "I suppose I will have a cup of whatever you are having to drink, my dear."

Smiling at him and stopping to pat his shoulder, they left the room to retrieve the drinks in question. Once they did, the room was quiet, much too quiet. Without the Doctor: their voice, their shuffling of the papers on the table, them mumbling to themselves under their breath - there wasn't any noise for him to focus on.

As expected, tiredness came over SilverAsh, like a heavy, warm blanket that he couldn't refuse. The Feline scrunched his nose up a little, rubbing at his eyes again in an attempt to wake himself up. There wasn't much use, however. The longer he sat in the quiet room on the comfortable lounge couch, the more heavy his eyelids felt.

What was the point in fighting an enemy he couldn't even grab hold of? His tiredness could only be solved one way - SilverAsh figured a few moments of shut eye wouldn't hurt. So, that's what he did; the Feline sank into the cushions of the couch, trying to get as comfortable as possible in his seated position, before closing his eyes for what he assured himself would only be a few minutes.

However, when the Doctor returned, he didn't wake up. In fact, when they had returned to the room with two cups in hand, they headed towards SilverAsh only to find him completely asleep.

The Doctor blinked at him for a second; he was out like a light: his head was tilted down and his shoulders were slumped over slightly. His arms laid crossed over his chest, and his fluffy tail was curled up with its tip under his nose, covering the lower half of his face.

"....Enciodas?" Using his real name, the Doctor whispered quietly, placing the cups down on the coffee table before peering down to get a better look at his face.

The Feline didn't reply, all that was coming from him was soft snores and calm, steady breaths. The Doctor sighed, smiling lightly at his peaceful facial expression. "You should've said you were tired…" They mumbled, carefully tucking some hair from SilverAsh's eyes.

Carefully as not to wake him, the Doctor sat themselves beside the Feline. Drinks completely forgotten, they carefully moved his head to their lap, lying him down slowly. Once he was laid down, they smiled, allowing him to shift for a few seconds, their grin growing at the small mumbles that came from him before he relaxed.

One of the Doctor's hands rested in his hair, combing the strands gently, while the other gathered the papers on the table in front of them, stacking them and placing them aside. They had done enough work for that day, the most they could do was clean up while SilverAsh slept.

Finished with the papers, the Doctor turned all their attention to the Feline who had his head laid in their lap. They had always been told that SilverAsh was a man with shrewd intentions that would go to any lengths to get what he wanted, but they couldn't understand such a perspective when the man in question was fast asleep using their lap as a pillow.

One could say that SilverAsh had ulterior motives driving his care and affection toward the Doctor, but they knew that wasn't true.

'...how can everyone make you out to be someone like that?', They always thought about that. Evil intentions - they never saw anything even close when looking at SilverAsh. He wasn't perfect, but he wasn't a cold hearted malicious mastermind either.

"Hmm…" A small noise caused the Doctor to snap from their thoughts, and they looked to their lap to find SilverAsh opening his eyes slowly. They greeted him with a small smile, eyes meeting his as they blinked with a bit of surprise.

Unable to contain themselves, the Doctor spoke in a light, teasing tone, "Well, hello sleeping beauty. You fell asleep on me." SilverAsh's eyebrows lifted - he hadn't meant to fall completely asleep. Sighing lightly, he tilted his head to look up at them, "My apologies, my dear…I'm more tired than I thought." His voice was indeed still a little groggy, and his eyes looked like they were threatening to close.

The Doctor smiled, "Don't worry, Enciodas. We can continue working some other time, I think you've done enough for today." Petting his hair softly, their heart swelled when SilverAsh leaned into their touch, "Would you please…let me rest for just a while?"

They chimed with a light laugh, nodding at him, "Go back to sleep. I'll be here whenever you need me." The Feline gave them a lopsided smile, yawning, "Hah…acknowledged…" With that, he was fast asleep again, eyes shut peacefully.

The Doctor was unable to hold back their smile. They knew the right thing to do was to send SilverAsh to his room and complete the work they needed to attend to with someone else, but such actions were out of the question with the Feline sleeping in their lap so calmly.

No, they never saw shrewd intent in him. From the day they met, the Doctor could only ever recall him allowing them to lean on him for support when needed; he wasn't the warmest, but he was always sincere around them - there were no evil motives in the warm he showed them.

Leaning down to leave a light kiss on his forehead, the Doctor spoke one last whisper, "You can always rest on me, Enciodas."

In their world, there were so few things to show warmth to, and SilverAsh was a man who had lost many things, and was bound to lose more. But, even if he had nothing else, the Doctor hoped he knew that he would always have them.

[bearpillowmonster]

KH: MoM Review (Story)

You don't begin the game with the new story, it's mainly just Kairi retelling the story from her perspective and you build up to that point...after KH3, so its basically the ending. I want to be clear, this isn't THE Kairi game, we might get one in the future but this is just told from her perspective, you don't play as her that much and you don't unlock her like the other characters, which is kind of disappointing.

One thing I noticed is that they give the player the choice of where to go. If you want to head to Chain of Memories, there's a path, if you want to go to Days, there's a path, if you want to go to KH2, there's a path, it all branches out after KH1. I would have to say it's a bold move to put KH2 right there because if you don't skip anything, the beginning of KH2 is the world before the Days section, when chronologically, it's the other way around.

(to the left is CoM, Straight is KH2, the right branch up ahead is Days)

Also Tarzan is missing from the world line-up, I assume they didn't get the rights because they had a whole debacle back when 1.5 was coming out and such but it's just kind of odd to me, I was kind of looking forward to that too. Same with Pirates and Pooh, not sure why that would be though and here's the funny one...Symphony of Sorcery, the one that actually has to do with music! I hated the way that world was put together in Dream Drop, I thought this would bring it redemption but the world isn't even in it!

With that, some Kingdom Hearts games are longer than others, so since CoM has pretty much all the Disney worlds from the first game, it's just different Castle Oblivion sections, so pretty short and sweet. That isn't to say that worlds don't come back for more tracks though, for example, Neverland appears in the KH1, BBS, and Days sections but with different songs. There are also different teams such as Team Classic, Team Days, Team 3D (odd choice but I like it), and Team BBS. They aren't interchangeable and you can't play as KH2 Sora but it is what it is, it doesn't affect gameplay anyway.

This game definitely reaches out to wider audiences but I wouldn't call it a replacement for story. If anything, it makes you want to play the other games, a great compliment/supplement. Especially if you want Disney World plots, that’s practically nonexistent. It is funny that they just used two songs for Re:Coded and only one for 0.2 though. There are 3 extra worlds that you only unlock if you get 280 stars, I like that, I only ended up doing that after the story though since I only had 208 by the time I figured that out.

I remember when I was a kid and my friend wanted to play Guitar Hero but he used the controller, not the guitar and I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea, but look at me now! Little did I think, years down the road that Kingdom Hearts was going to swoop in and make a game like this where I’m actually interested in rhythm.

Overall, this game made me much more interested in rhythm games entirely. If they made a Zelda one in a similar style, I would totally be interested. With that said, this is the best rhythm game I've played thus far, not that I've really been into them though. 

Stop! STOP!

I know you want to see it but this is where I get into spoilers, keep that in mind. Also, there is a scene after the credits, but it doesn't matter how you play the game, it's there for everyone. And if you see "Secret movie" somewhere online, that's false, it isn’t actually a "secret movie" because I've seen some pretty convincing fakes out there.

Now, I can see where people would get hasty and say that the content isn't all that much because they do wait until the end to reveal the new content and while I was satisfied with it (even if it left on a cliffhanger (as I expected!)) I could see some people not being as satisfied. I ended up spending about 10 hours going through world tour but I kept going after that as I mentioned so kind of average but this is also a rhythm game, think about a CD with that much content and not all the songs are even in the world tour.

Is it probably skippable? Probably. I expect it’ll be relevant but I think it’s more just connecting the dots than anything, besides, this is the current KH game for a while, I hear we won’t get news until 2022.

That final boss was great, I loved it. The only real gripe I had with it is that Sora looks like an MMD model, like if KH3 Sora was still in KH1. I also expected a little more out of Kairi's backstory because we got most of that specific part in the trailer making it easy to pick apart. I did stray away from everything since that trailer though and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, FGM can just teleport to the Final World whenever??

Nameless star is voiced by Madison Davenport who, as of now, is still under the name "Nameless Star." it's kind of salty but at the same time, sweet because I'm excited to see who she is. The japanese voice actress "Risa Shimuzu" voiced Vitani in the Lion King 2...so confirmed? Hahaha. Kairi asking to be trained by Aqua makes my heart all warm and fuzzy, I love that thought, that they all become masters and teach the new generation because I was thinking that the BBS gang might become irrelevant after KH3.

Xehanort talked about ‘paving the way for Sora’s disappearance’ but that was apart of his plan? I know YX teased it but he wanted that to happen?

Quadratum has to do with an ancient Roman building technique and the concept of "Making Square" but it really is Shibuya. The foretellers presence makes more and more sense as this goes on and it's really setting up for it. I felt like we were spending all that time building for KH3 but we didn't even realize that we were building for KH4 along the way and I think that it's just going to keep going, which is why "Quadratum" is a good metaphor in this instance, it keeps that same momentum and structure, it didn't lose anything by finishing the Xehanort Saga, it just used it as a launchpad.

Other than that, I heard "data" being tossed around when they talked about dreams and memories. Kairi is the memories (I guess Pooh is too though...) 

and Riku is the dreams, so does that mean Nameless Star is data? Strelitzia is that you? It seems familiar because I mean she's "from the other side" and Brain was talking about data in Union X so it's possible. I just don't want the master plan to be "Re: Coded was actually 10x more important than you thought!" kind of data.

[joyisntyoj]

04: LETTERS TO NOBODY OR MAYBE MAYARI

Seal stamps, stamps with whatever designs, papers and pens, stickers, pictures, dried flowers, heartwarming messages, and a lot more.

When was the last time you wrote something on a literal piece of paper for someone?

Have you ever personally given someone a handwritten letter or sent it from the post office?

Is writing a letter still a thing today, or you just use whatever app you have because what is the point if other ways are more convenient, right?

Maybe, you are more the vocal type of person and, you just say what you feel instead of writing it down?

Perhaps, you are none of the above because what is important is your presence in their lives and, that is more than enough?

Still, how lovely it is to keep something that has sentimental value. It unnecessarily means that you are hoarding something because what's to not treasure from precious memories in a small piece of paper in an envelope?

This story is for those who never get tired of expressing themselves in whatever form they know, but most especially to those who write.

May you never run out of papers, inks, and thoughts to compose. to more unforgotten memories preserved in letters.

^^^

To: Mayari.

How are you? I wish things were getting better, just like what I always pray. These days, sleeping at night suddenly became serene as well as waking up in the morning. Sometimes my days are dull and typical...I believe? But most of the time, it's either I'm feeling blue or extra sad, or was that the same? I kept on blaming the pandemic, but for real, I'm just a mess. Silent battles are truly tough. I wish I had the courage and strength just like yours. Be safe. Stay sane. I'm really trying my best to be legit all right.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Liway is the name, exhausted with life. Mayari, someone out there, maybe a supreme being or plausibly not always receives Liway's letters. Sometimes Liway writes 10 messages at once and sometimes none at all. Mayari is the only recipient of such letters that even Liway never knew they were received by the random recipient it thought was just nobody. It all genuinely started on having a recipient written on the "To:" part at the post office. Though seriously, it doesn't even have any home address. It's super weird that it's for Mayari and no address, and were received.

HOW?

^^^

To: Mayari.

The night has come. This time, it feels heavier than usual. Tears are suddenly falling. I noticed that an unwelcome visitor came. The familiar pain is hugging me again, so tight that breathing is getting harder. I hate everything. Yet, I came to realize a lot of things. Afterward, I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Am I getting crazy? Before I went to bed, at the dinner table, I felt uncomfortable with the conversation we had, my family, about myself back then. I really hate it when they keep on bringing up what happened in the past. I already moved on... I think... so can they stop mentioning those moments? Honestly, whenever anything from the past is introduced again and remembered, I tend to feel like it just happened yesterday. Everything is coming back so fresh and new; fun, pain, sweats, and tears. I hate it.

PS. Mayari, can you send me some courage? Preferably in capsules, So I can have it in my intakes and be sure I'll be really having it in my system literally.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Continues writing so many letters filled with how living is like. Liway felt tired and exhausted. A few days ago, it was super overwhelmed that crying is unavoidable. Then this morning, Ms. Walmy called for a little chat and checking up because it's never too bad to check up on somebody, most especially when you're a counselor. It's your job, so uh? Anyway, though Liway was out of focus on the call, it was able to be accomodating and warm in return. It reciprocated the thoughtfulness with a sweet smile.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey! Today I was mad because firsthand, I experienced that thing I usually hear from other people. The "don't-post-something-revealing-on-social-media-but-love-yourself-but-that's-not-appropriate". Well, I don't even know why I'm reacting super outrage towards it. Because knowing that my family is just concerned for me since the internet is frankly scary. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why? Maybe deciding to be confident on the internet is not necessary for them. But for me, it is! So how should I deal with this? A friend consoled me, and I feel better. Still tho, my mood is already ruined. Oh gosh.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

 Liway.

Welcoming a new week, the usual Liway is busy with the household chores. Some may find it stressful, but this one is pretty different. Scrubbing the floor, washing the dishes, brooming on the side. Later on, folding the clothes, fixing the bed, and a lot more things. It looks like it'll be tiring its body out until the nose bleeds, and passing out is the last resort to rest. How come it's easier to clean an actual mess than the one inside the head and heart?

^^^

To: Mayari.

Beloa visited me today. My childhood and the only friend left I have up to this day from elementary school. If you get what I mean? It's been a long time since we had a chat, especially that things are super complicated these days. She's doing really well, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm still amazed at how we manage to be friends because we both don't like each other to begin with. It's so funny that we even pulled each other's hair in the 4th grade while the class is taking the annual picture for the school year remembrance. What are the odds in this even, right? HAHAHA. Today was warm and bright.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Dates suddenly don't vary in these letters. Even the concept of time is somehow gone. What's important is regardless of not having these "important details" like the usual, Liway can keep up and be consistent in sending its letters. Liway never missed a chance to send a letter to the address less recipient, which left the post office staff to ponder with it. But as time goes by, Alle, the clerk, is no more surprised 'coz she's used to everything now. The envelopes unfailingly vanished the moment it was dropped inside the mailing box. Indeed, a magical mailbox.

^^^

To: Mayari.

I never knew how amazing pretending could be. You know that thing where someone usually says I'm okay, but really not? The inner saboteur that was triggered by their trauma is real-real-real. A car is useless when it's not moving if you wanted to travel to faraway places. Does that make sense?

PS. It sucks that our bathroom is the only "semi-safe space".

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Polar bears are really fascinating. They get to hibernate. Then, after the time being, back on hunting and living their lives. Ligaya was one of Liway's hero. A lot knew Ligaya for being a superhero, although she does not have that fantasy powers. Just like the polar bears, too, Ligaya has been hibernating for quite some time but kept on saying that she was not. Liway saw it all. Maybe a bear's hibernation is different from a human-being, hmm?

^^^

To: Mayari.

IDK what to say, but I just wanted to be consistent at the very least in sending you letters.

PS. The radio was broken, but in my head, it's working. It kept on playing nonstop music. Is this a poetic way of saying I'm overthinking things?

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari.

A lot happened lately. Somebody lost a precious one, and here I am, having a renaissance moment. It's a crazy ride, but for all it's worth, the pea has grown into a beautiful plant. Hope it made sense coz finally, everything is making sense to me now. Little by little, slowly and surely.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey!! I hope you are doing great!!! These days, everything felt surreal. I get to be active everywhere. It's draining, yet I feel so alive than ever. I had this thought that time is indeed just a concept, hmm? I mean, anytime is the right time to do what you want and whatever it is. Nothing is too late, most especially when it comes to growth. OH, being late in class still counts but FOR REAL RIP TO THE ONLINE CLASS SETUP -_-

PS. May we never run out of time to be the best versions of ourselves. LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. fck the situation, but SOON, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. SPEND FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. FEEL EVERYTHING.

PSS. May we leave this world with fewer regrets and more amazing memories.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Quite a lot of letters were already sent. The post office is getting more and more letters, as well as Mayari. Still, NO REPLY. Maybe some other, Liway will be able to hear Mayari's words.

^^^

To: Mayari.

*here's an envelope just in case you want to write me something*

With so much love annd kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

'Tis the season to be jolly. LOL Nah. Liway has been out for the past weeks. By out, means on a hibernation mode. A L O T R E A L L Y happened. It's hard to put it into words. I guess Liway will end these letter-sending shenanigans or just lazy and trying to give out some excuses //

^^^

To: Mayari. 

Ever since I was taught how to move around the kitchen, I've been assigned to be Mom's assistant while cooking for the feast every event/occasion we'll be celebrating. It's tiring but super fun. Getting your fingers bleed and while unaware is cool LOL~ 

PS. Why does it feel so good to overthink things while doing the dishes? What's with that scenario.........

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Tireless hands, heart, and mind with countless thoughts and feelings, papers, and pens everywhere—WRITING; it surely is one of the best ways to vent. Though letters can’t hug and wipe one's tears, witness waves of laughter, ease the pain, and such, the comfort from every word written is more than enough.

Suddenly time barge in and reminded me that this is enough. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR 2020...

A new chapter has arrived, and maybe it's time to move forward. Maybe this is where it all gonna stop for a while. I mean, writing is somehow tiring, literally. Probably, Mayari might reply with the number of letters sent anytime soon, so maybe waiting is all that needed.

No rush in moving on.

MAY YOU GET THE REPLY YOU LONG FOR SO LONG.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND HAVE COURAGE.

BE KIND ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Little did nobody know, Liway is writing a letter to her "ideal" self.

The letter-sending-to-nobody thingy of Liway is really mind-boggling, right?

Mayari is Liway. Liway is Mayari.

The things that Liway wanted to say but cannot articulate well were always sent to Mayari. Mayari is the version of Liway it wishes to become in the future. 

The weak Liway longs and hopes to have "that" someone by her side to look up to. That's why she always writes letters and keeps them in the memory box.

The post office thingy was actually her shared room at home: the table at the corner with no lights but so much mess. It's that post office.

It's pandemic, so how can a post office be open and how brave she is to go out, right?

That saying, "be the hero you wanted to have when you were little", is the best explanation of Liway's way of venting and expressing.

Nobody knows when Mayari will come to life because it's no certainty that we can be the ideal self we all wanted to happen. 

For now, Liway is fighting her battles and screaming louder to the universe,

UNTIL WHEN DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?

To be continued...

Happy New Year, Mayari. ✨💜

This is like an excerpt from my quarantine shenanigans for 2020 LOL.

[shinahbee]

November Favorites 2020!

 Hello!

So as you may have seen I have been uploading a bunch of art all of November, not every week because of my crippling job at the moment taking away my sanity.lol. But i did try my best to update whenever I can. I do have so much more to complete so please look out this December for more digital art being pumped out

How are you all doing?  I'm holding up decently, I'm trying to avoid talking about covid since that's all i've been hearing from work and home and it's really making me anxious since i'm not able to work from home due to the nature of my job. I hope you all are holding up hope and taking care of your selves, let's all remember that there is a time after this and we will get through this.

with that being said I will have a lot more time to spend on my art after January since my work term is going to end and I don't plan to stay for an extension, so maybe then I'll catch up on all of my previous art that I was supposed to upload, a.k.a my hero academia ones.lol

also I'm still chugging along reading more manhwa (web toons ) from korean and chinese artists, i'm so disappointed in myself for not discovering these sooner, these stories are really good and so much effort was put into the art panels, as I have said all I've read was manga so i'm used to just seeing black and white panels, so i never really dove into web toons though I have appreciated the work put into it, now that I'm down the rabbit hole I am discovering really good story lines that are different from the manga I've read thus far and I'm really enjoying it!

so i'm excited to share my thoughts on everything I've been liking

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                           Manhwa/Manga/Webtoon

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so previously in last months recommendations I have talked about a few of the manhwa I've been reading so I'll briefly list those below since they are all still ongoing

1) who's baby is it

2) to be or no to be

3) social temperature

4) salad days

all of them are still ongoing and i'm still in the process of reading them so I can't give a full review till it's completed but so far I am still enjoying them, that's definitely a good sign since i tend to just drop something after I don''t find it interesting anymore at some point in the story. If you have not read my October favorites journal please do so for my initial thoughts on these manhwas. Now i'm actually going to talk about some of the ones that are completed   , so you can definitely read all of them without waiting for the an update from translators, lol

this is in no particular order, just fyi

1) Path to you

"When almost college dropout Jensen attempts to drink away his problems, unemployed Nathaniel( Neil ) suddenly pukes on him and ruins his night. As an apology, Nathaniel offers to help Jensen with his studies. Despite Jensen's difficulties in getting along with people, the two become friends and something deeper begins to grow between them...”

this is the summary from one of the manga websites I was able to find, it does not even describes the emotional plot line that goes along with this later, this is ones of my absolute favorites! I love this manhwa so much, its a great depiction of a coming of age story for collage students going through their life journey and slowly getting though life's difficulties  and challenges, one character is going though emotional trauma and trying to over come it for years and another character is going through anti social disorder and discovering his sexuality, it's a plot line that portrayed human aspects in life quite well. I love the relationship between the two main character and how their relationship developed over time from being friends to being a couple. there is a lot of relationship building and minimal drama, which is really refreshing from mangas that I've read, so if you are just starting to delve into BL webtoons, please read this first! you will not be disappointed

with that being said, I love Neil, so much.... you don't even know. lol. He's so precious, literally like an actual cinnamon roll. LOL. i'm exposing myself ...so i'll leave it at that, i’m also wondering why his name is neil instead of nathan or nate...? lol.

2) Here U Are

"Orientation of  the newcomers is a task for YuYang, and he ends up helping the unsociable and towering LiHuan, the kind of person that does everything to be disliked. But after better knowing each other, he discovers that the giant isn’t that bad of a person at all...”

I really wish I could find better summaries, lol. but it's to the point without giving away too much so i'll take it. This is one of the most popular series and I can totally see why after reading it, this story has every possible human aspect and relationship building  between the two main leads, I actually teared in some parts of this manhwa and I've never done that before! such a good story and plot line, if I were to pick any series in a web toon to be animated then I would choose this series hands down. There's also sub plots between different characters as well and how they deal with their interpersonal relationships and relationships between the two main leads, I love it! This is everything I want in a story, so please check this one out

also yuyang looks a lot like miyuki Kazuya from Daiya no ace and that just made me drawn to him.I really liked his personality and in the manhwa he has girls and guys in love with him and dude...I get it.

3) BJ Alex

"Every night at 10, Dong-gyun locks himself up in his room, grabs a box of tissues, and watches a live cam boy show hosted by Alex, a BJ (broadcast jockey). Timid Dong-gyun admires not only Alex’s ripped body, but his candor in sharing his sexual experiences with viewers. One night, Dong-gyun downs too many drinks at a school networking event and passes out. When he wakes up, he’s in bed staring up at a shirtless hunk. A hunk who looks an awful lot like...Alex.”

so um...this is more yaoi than shounen ai cause of all the graphic scenes in the manhwa, if you are veteran you may have already read this one cause its really popular. It also has a lot of comedic elements to it too so it's not too serious, but the relationship developed between the two characters later on is really sweet despite the infinite amount of sex scenes. Not much else to say about this story, it's easy to follow and the only abuse in here is the emotional kind

I'm not really entirely sure how i felt about it in the beginning but the end is really good

4) No way, vampires don't exist

"Four college housemates — Juwon, Eunho, Seongjae, and Gyumin — are in desperate need of a fifth person to fill a vacant room in their place. But their main concern isn’t about paying rent: they’re ravenous vampires, dying to sink their teeth into a fresh, live human! So they can’t believe their luck when Dongha, who grew up isolated from society, eagerly moves in with no idea of what awaits him. To the vampires’ dismay, however, Dongha doesn’t weigh enough for them to suck his blood! As they shower their unsuspecting new housemate with food and attention to fatten him up, have they gotten too attached to their would-be prey? And is there more to sweet, naive Dongha than meets the hungry vampires’ eyes?”

I have to preface by saying that ever since my twilight phase, I didn't consume anything that had to do with vampires for a very long time, for obvious reasons, but this one I just came across after reading path to you and thought I would at least check it out. It started off really comedic and I was like...what am i reading?  but it gets really light hearted and wholesome later on in the story. What I like about this is the character juwon, If you look at him he's that type of character that would look like the stoic a-hole of the story and those characters never appeal to me. But turns out he's the sweetest person most decent person of this story, it makes you want to route for him  and another thing I like about this story is that it looks like a harem but you can tell that there’s only one person the main character doungha treats differently from the rest and how the two are compatible with one another.  in these kind of stories, it’s always treated as every character is a possible route that leads to their own story but in here....there's only one...let's be real. This is one that is an odd ball cause it's technically completed but the translations are not...so i had to read the rest in korean, which makes it a good practice for me since i'm learning korean at the moment, it’s a good exercise...lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                             Anime/ Drama

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                         

Not going to lie this department is lacking...lol. I have only been watching Heavens official blessing as mentioned in the last journal

but I have just found out that there is a remake of Shaman king in the making....and my little girl heart is screaming cause I loved shaman king when i was younger...so I can't wait for that

as for dramas, I've tried watching Start Up but I didn't like it so I dropped it, I might try watching crash landing on you since my best friend was obsessed with it, I watched a little of it but I left it since I was busy so i may get back to watching it from the beginning

-------------------------------------------------------------------

                             Music

--------------------------------------------------------------------       

i'll put together a play list for you when you read these manga/manhwa...lol. cause that's what i've been doing

Playlist

Crush- No words

Sam kim - Breathe

Crush - let us go

Kim feel - falling

Paul kim - Dream

Kim feel - Hallelujah

Davichi - please don't cry

Yoo mirae - say

taeyeon - a poem called you

baek yerin- Here I am again

I wish tumblr has a way to play music on your page, without copy right..lol. I would share all of these songs cause they are so good

------------------------------------------------------------------------

so that's it for the month of November, lets' see what i get up to for December, I will be updating as frequently as possible so please look out for more art from me and follow me on my social media , I will see you all next time

bye!

Sheena

---------------------------------------------

     Social media      

Devianatart: she-be.deviantart.com

Instagram: shinb_art

Tumblr: shinahbee

[whumpitywhumpwhump]

For BTHB, hand stomp? I'm a sucker for hostage situations with this trope tbh

Hi there! Here’s ‘hand stomp’! This features an OC I wrote about earlier, Carria, as well as a new one: Dossiel. This is the closest thing to a hostage situation I could come up with, so I hope you like it!

“Hey Jodie, I’m so glad you couldmake it! I’ve some pie already out, why don’t you head into the dining room whileI grab us some sweet tea?” Carria welcomes her neighbor, opening the screendoor wide to let her in.

Jodie nods, starts to head thatway. “Thanks for having me over, Carria. Love spending time with y’allyoungins.” With a hearty laugh, Jodie disappears into the other room.

Just behind her, invisible toJodie, (and, so it thinks, to Carria) is Jodie’s Guardian Angel. Carria’s seenthis particular angel before, and after careful evaluation, she doesn’t measureup. Short, with piebald brown wings, stringy gray hair—that angel was nowhere nearaesthetically pleasing enough for her collection.

That’s fine. I know exactly how to get a new one. Just hope that one’sprettier lookin’. Step one of getting that new one is the drops Carriasqueezes into Jodie’s sweet tea, mixing it in before bringing both glasses intothe dining room.

The two women enjoy some conversationabout the weather and the crops and other mundane topics that are easy toblather about. After about thirty minutes, Jodie gets an odd look in her eyes.

“You know, Carria, I don’t thinkI’m feeling too great. Maybe I oughtta head home.” Before she could do any suchthing, her eyelids slip shut, and her head drops to the table.

Good thing she finished the pie—that woulda been a real mess. Carriarolls in the wheelbarrow that had been sitting out on the porch. She pushesJodie over from her chair into the barrow, and wheels her off.

As she pushes Jodie into the roomfurther in the house, she notices with glee that the other angel is no longerwith them. Guess my wards are working! Excellent.

When they arrive in the room, Carriapicks up a syringe filled with amber liquid. She places it in the crook ofJodie’s arm, and pushes the plunger down, watching the fluid disappear. After afew seconds, Jodie’s body spasms, shuddering violently once, twice, then lyingstill.

“60, 59, 58, 57…” Carria countsdown from 60 and collects another syringe as she does so. This one holds ablue fluid, and she places this one in the crook of Jodie’s other arm. She pausesthere, waiting.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” She pushes theplunger down on this one, then waits. Thisis it. I really hope it works. Nothing happens at first, but a minute later,Jodie’s body trembles and she sucks in a breath. There’s the sugar! Carria can’t help the grin that bedecks her faceas she rolls her friend down the hall.

That should definitely have been enough to dispel her hideous angel. Enoughof the lore books she read confirmed the same idea: when a person dies, theirGuardian Angel is dismissed. Many theorized that people who die but are resuscitatedget a new Guardian following their return to life.

The theory is made fact when theyemerge from the warded section of the house and that dumpy angel is nowhere tobe seen. If it were still bound to Jodie, it would have been waiting right outhere for her. Since it’s gone, that means Jodie’s new angel should be on itsway.

Better hurry up and get to the other room then. Carria wheels offand prepares for the new arrival.

–

Dossiel is sitting in a lounge,waiting for the next message to carry. He wonders, vaguely, where he’ll begoing. A different section of Heaven? Someplace in Hell? Or perhaps he can delivera message to Earth? That would be exciting.

His boss charges in, out ofbreath. “Dossiel. Good, you’re here. You’ve been reassigned, Guardian Angelthis time. To a woman named, uh,” he checks the clipboard he’s carrying, “namedJodie Macomber.”

Dossiel scrunches his eyebrows. “Awoman? Like an adult?”

“She had a heart attack, technicallydead for a few minutes? So she needs a new Guardian, and it’s you. Hurry up,she can’t be without a Guardian too long.”

Dossiel nodded, grabbed the paperhis boss held out to him, and swept off to meet his new charge.

–

Dossiel pushes open the screendoor on the back porch. According to the file, this isn’t Jodie’s house, it’s actuallya neighbor’s.

Odd, you’d expect if she just had a heart attack she’d be in thehospital. Maybe her neighbor called her an ambulance? He wanders down thehall, feeling the tug of his new charge on his very essence.

There! A room at the back of the house, door somewhat ajar. He cansee her sprawled out on the floor, motionless. He hurries in, kneeling besideher. She’s alive, but he can sense something wrong with her.

Her eyes flutter open briefly,and he would swear that she can see him. She moves her hand to rest on herpocket, and he follows it. In her pants pocket, he finds a small knife—the kindone might use for gardening. As he curls his fingers around it, the door to theroom slams shut.

He whirls around in time to see anotherwomen smear something on the wall, mumble a word from some unholy language, andsmack the wall. Immediately he feels himself cut off from his grace—it feels asthough someone had plucked the heart out of his chest, cold and lifeless. Panicspikes through him, and he understands suddenly why his charge wanted him tohave the knife.

He flicks it open and charges thewoman—she raises her hand, mutters something—Dossiel goes sprawling, knifeskittering out of his grasp, stopping a few inches away. He lunges for it, but beforehis fingers find its hilt, a boot descends.

He hears the crunch a split second before he feels the pain. She twists her footslightly, and he can feel bone shifting under her weight. He has to bite back awhimper as something moves the wrong way in his hand.

One deep breath in, one out, andhe steels his nerve. He reaches out his other hand to grab her leg, to try andpull her off balance. She’s somehow faster, though, and his other hand and herother boot become acquainted. This time it’s much more of a stomp, and the snap of his fingers breaking forces agasp from his lips.

The woman glares down at him,contemplating. Before he could even begin to think of a plan, she lifts herboot and brings it down on his hand again, full-force, for good measure. Whicheverfingers weren’t broken certainly are now, and she grinds her heel in, whicheverones were broken are now shattered. He whines softly, overwhelmed in the moment.

“You want me to stop? You want meto let Jodie here go unharmed? Stop struggling and drink this.” The womanfinally speaks to him, procuring a tiny vial from one of her pockets. She holdsthe black liquid out to him. “You’d better down the whole damn thing, darlin’.I wouldn’t want to have to harm such a pretty little angel as yourself.” Herboot rises off his hand.

He looks up at the bottle, andthen over at this throbbing hand. He can see where the bones shards arepressing against the skin, where his fingers are already starting to swell. Thenhe looks over at Jodie, still lying helpless on the floor. She’s my charge, I have to protect her.

He reaches up, gingerly liftinghis injured hand. She roughly closes his fingers around the bottle andunstoppers it. He winces at the scrape of bone on bone when she touches him.

He brings the vial up to hismouth and drinks. From the first drop, he knows something’s wrong, but he can’tstop drinking, not when Jodie’s safety is at stake. Upon finishing the bottle,his fingers just let it drop, and his arm returns, limply, to the ground.

As the woman steps off his hand,the edges of vision start to go blurry. He quickly loses focus, loses hisgrip on the scene before him. The sharp pains in his hands dull as realityslips, but his relief is short-lived. The very last thing he sees is the woman,now holding the knife, crouching down over Jodie.

Then the darkness takes him.

Feel free to send me more requests whenever you feel like it! Green means it’s been completed, and red means I have a request for it. Thanks y’all!!

[lv-ha]

love love love the name harlow tbh! i would like a ship with the trio era pls :) i'm sorted into ravenclaw but i can be brave, cunning, and nice like the other houses! i'm sometimes independent, having no more than like 5 friends honestly. im shy when you first meet me but when we grow closer im wild 😂 i always tend to focus on school but that never works but i do care about my grades and will work hard to make my parents proud! (ships with boys & girls, idc) thx love

I ship you with: Harry Potter

You and Harry met during your first flying lesson at Hogwarts. You were standing next to him when his broom shot straight up into his hands. You were struggling a little with your own but when you finally got it into your hands, Harry gave you a warm and encouraging smile.

You were so proud of the way he acted when Draco started making fun of Neville for falling and having to go to the hospital wing. Draco was being a total git and Harry being the loyal friend he was stuck up for Neville. You found him after Professor McGonagall took him away, nervous that he would be expelled but he told you that he had been asked to be a seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. You were ecstatic for him and you could not wait for him to tell his other friends and see the surprised looks on their faces.

Harry introduced you to Ron and Hermione later that day and the four of you got on well. You were happy to have friends other than ones from your own house. You did often feel like the odd ball because you were the only Ravenclaw of the group, but yourself and Hermione were very similar and because of this you two became very close. You confided in each other for everything and whenever you were around, you were attached at the hip. You loved having a close female friend.

Your marks were important to you so you and Harry often studied together in his spare time and he did not care what he was doing as long as he was hanging out with you. However, you also like to let loose every now and again and this always made Harry laugh. He wasn’t used to seeing you act wild and it made you laugh to see the expression on his face when you suggested that the two of you sneak out after curfew for a late night stroll.

After hanging out for years, you finally realized that you had feelings for Harry and no matter how hard you tried, they would not go away. When you told Hermione, her jaw dropped and she immediately went to Ron to find out if Harry felt the same. There was always a tension between Harry and yourself but you just assumed it was all one sided. It wasn’t.

After the two of you finally got together, you were pulled even further into the group and you were brought into the world that Harry wanted to keep you out of for so long. He did not want to hurt you but you did not want him to get hurt. You involved yourself to make sure that he wasn’t making stupid decisions.

“You didn’t actually think I was letting you do this alone did you Potter?”

Him groaning EVERY time you call him Potter. You only do it to annoy him, but secretly he loves it and he knows you love annoying him so he groans for your benefit.

You thinking you’re being sneaky when it comes to doing something behind his back but he always finds out.

“How in the bloody hell did you know I was here?”

“Better question, why didn’t you tell me you were here…”

“What is that parchment in your hand? Harry James Potter, you tell me what it is right now or so help me Merlin…”

“Y/N, calm down, its nothing, it’s just a map of Hogwarts and I can see where people are.”

You looking at him like he didn’t just say that so casually as if it was an everyday item??? And when you ask him he is like oh yeah my dad and his friends made this map of Hogwarts so they could see where everyone was so they could sneak around the castle. You still being mind blown.  

No real arguments except when he thinks that he needs to save the world for the millionth time that day. You were just scared, you knew how badly he wanted to help everyone but you needed to remind him that he also needed to help himself by staying out of it.  

A lot of sneaking around after curfew thanks to the invisibility cloak. You often snuck into his dormitory just so you could cuddle him. You hated sleeping alone and on particularly bad nights, you would use it to sneak in. you loved sleeping next to him and his messy hair was the cutest when he woke up the next morning.

SO MANY FLUFFY SNUGGLES AND HIS HAIR WOULD BE ALL FLUFFY AND YOU WOULD JUST PLAY WITH IT WHILE YOU CUDDLED AND MADE IT TWICE AS MESSY AS IT WAS BEFORE

Best Friend: Hermione Granger

Lisa xx