#its so..... i dont want to complain bc its not like its physically tough work but the emotional toll

[3416]

helped my grandparents put up their xmas decorations today and it’s just. sad to watch people get older

[artsychaosbean]

I watched a video and it infuriates me

My issue with the video is this is a mom vs a professional nutritionist. This is another case of a mother who stubbornly thinks she cant possibly be wrong.

I was forced to eat peas and beans, I have autism. I can't handle the texture of peas or beans. I was forced to eat garlic with a garlic allergy.

I was forced to overeat

Many parents not all but MANY parents take a "I know your body best" stance and IGNORE the words of their child. Forcing a kid to eat is just as bad as depriving them of food. and it does cause EDs I went through 2 different eating disorders and my relationship with vegetables and meat has been soured my whole life since I was a child. I have to force myself to eat vegetables and it has to be cooked in specific ways. I don't WANT to be this way and didnt make myself this way. Same with meat, unless its fish I struggle to eat meat even though I love the taste of chicken I was forced to eat so much meat even when full it makes me want to puke.

I developed stomach problems aswell so I cant eat as much anymore and my digestion is messed up. I cant digest beef, pork, brussel sprouts, peppers or beans at all anymore.

So this "Tough love" Mom just comes off ignorant. Shes stuck in that same toxic mind set and keeps talking over the nutritionist who seems like a very polite person. when I was forced to eat food I got an ED that made me have an aversion to food, eating caused me panic attacks. When I was fat shamed despite not eating much bc I did have weight problems even though I ate little, ate healthy and was active, but the result was I started skipping meals and sneakily putting meals back and throwing up. I was starving myself.

Then later on in life I got the opposite end of that eating disorder over being fat shamed and I'd starve myself still at meal times but then guilt binge a bunch of junk food and hide the wrappers and packaging in the garbage, and then guilt starve myself again for eating. it was a vicious cycle.

Some parents do NOT understand that kids aren't just manipulative whiny attention seeking little devils. Which is how they treat their children. STOP EXPECTING THE WORST IN YOUR CHILDREN. COMPROMISE, TALK TO THEM AND TREAT THEM LIKE HUMAN BEINGS.

When you expect the worst in your child and treat them off of that, you cause resentment. When you don't listen to your child even if they never have lied to or manipulated you in their life, you teach them that no one will ever believe them and that affects their self image. When you don't listen to your child on their health, they won't listen to their own body and start ignoring the signs of health complications. That could KILL your child if the psychological damage goes too far. I was ignored on numerous occasions and got injuries from it or ended up almost in the hospital. My mother then turned around and made it all about herself being a victim "IF YOU JUST LISTENED TO ME ABOUT THIS UNRELATED THING A WEEK AGO THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED" as I sit there with my thighs entirely bruised unable to walk bc I had an injury that got irritated bc she forced me out when I told her I couldn't and warned her my injury would get worse. But bc shes the mother she "Knew best" and didn't take responsibility when I got hurt worse bc she ignored me.

Yknow what that taught me? That I can't TRUST my MOTHER to take care of my physical needs. That I have to take full care of myself. This means as a teen I wouldn't tell her if I was in pain, even when it got to the point where I SHOULD have been hospitalized. Because I no longer TRUSTED her to tell her. bc of HER actions and HER words. TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN. LISTEN TO THEM. DONT TAKE THEIR CONCERNS LIGHTLY. and if your child is being "Picky" consult professionals if no way you cook something works. Because if they complain about texture it very well could be adhd or autism. And if its not, and if they dislike that item regardless of how you cook it. Let it go, find other foods they might like in the same food group. Dont like cauliflower? Try broccoli. Again try it in different recipes dont keep trying the same thing over and over expecting them to just "get used to it" bc maybe its the way you cook it. I hate tomatos cooked for example bc of the heat and texture but I love them raw in a salad. It doesn't mean I dont eat tomatos, it just means I don't like them cooked and thats not that hard to do. And NEVER hide the food from your child. If you do that will also create a negative relationship with food and a distrust in you as a parent which will make them LESS likely to willingly try new things which can impact their relationship with other foods. If they don't like hot dogs, try "pigs in a blanket" But dont HIDE that its hotdogs in it, let them know. Make an agreement with your child to try everything ONCE and to try every new recipe ONCE. but don't pressure them or scream at them even if its frustrating. Yelling at your child just makes it harder on them especially if its autism. As a child who was forced into EVERYTHING and never had a choice. I have now grown into an adult with a lot of self image issues, a bad relationship with two essential food groups, and more triggers for my PTSD and Anxiety. It impacted my mental health and self worth. Im not the only one, I have a group of 12 friends on discord who all went through similar things with the same / similar consequences in their life from the issue. We all have a fear of foods now and we all had eating disorders as children and teens bc of our parents.

[serostuffsmh]

Okay so i hate canon and its soft overhaul time (thanks for the characters and world building horikoshi but i'll take it from here) (also no worries about deleting my ask dude, im kinda glad i got an excuse to get into the soft writing headspace again-and dw im saving this one in another writing app too!)

- he's usually strict with no PDA in front of his workers/ in public, but the second you two are alone he becomes the clingiest,most touch-starved soft boy, you have no idea

-when he's sitting down he always wants one of your knees to be touching/leaning against his (thats the secret reason why he manspreads like that)

-if you want some more distance he still wants your shoes to touch his (and not even in a playing kinda way; he's happy to just sit still, maintaining physical contact with you)

-he's always had to maintain a tough outer shell bc of his work, so at first he wants to be the one that you lean against and fall asleep on, but one day you finally convince him to lay his head down on your lap, and you can literally see it AWAKEN something behind his eyes (this is probably what jumpstarts his clinginess in a relationship; boy's been holding in stuff since childhood and feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable for the first time like that just released the floodgates)

-after that, his pride would prevent him from ever verbally asking for physical affection, but all of the precepts would notice how he'll sometimes start shifting his weight too often in his chair (especially at the end of the workday, or if you two havent seen each other for a few days), he's also picked up the habit of nervously tapping on his desk or with a pen (which baffles chrono, since kai has never shown those habits, even when he was younger he internalized a lot of his emotions)

- also if its just you two + chrono/nemoto in a room or meeting, overhaul becomes a bit more lax with his "no PDA" policy; he feels comfortable enough to lay a hand on your shoulder, letting you hold onto his arm, and having both of you absentmindedly play with each other's hands

-it doesnt matter if you've been sitting in his lap for 2 hours or 10 minutes; when you get up, he tries to hide it but its obvious he gets sad like when a puppy notices their human is leaving the house without them.

-falling asleep; if you fall asleep while leaning against him on the couch, or in his lap then he is genuinely gonna do anything to avoid getting up/moving you. Im talking texting chrono to open his office door EXTREMELY quietly and straight up whisper a conversation with him. Trying to move phone or in-person meetings to emails so he can type instead of waking you up.

-if you fall asleep on his couch without him, he really needs to move, or he sees you really need some quality sleep then you're getting carried bridal style into bed. Doesnt matter if you wake up or insist you're not tired; you're getting tucked in bro, i dont make the rules.

-is secretly really proud when you feel comfortable enough to start stealing his shirts; even moreso when you start taking them without timidly asking everytime. He won't ever verbally admit this, but he'll also never complain about missing them. Every once in a while he'll buy a shirt with the sole intention of seeing you wear it, but he's never gonna drop any hints of it.

please anon, I love your headcanons, they're so soft :>

- Seeing you fall asleep gives him a better view of your face to stare at and study, like just look at you, you're so precious.

- His general restlessness during work can be solved if your in the same room. It's kind of like body doubling, it helps him focus if you're there with him.

- The pda doesn't need to be over the top, just enough so you're both comfortable and satisfied.

- And I also love the headcanon that he would tuck you in bed. He doesn't want you to get chilly so he pulls the covers up to your nose.

- Just seeing you romp or lounge around in his dress shirts makes him smile, and watching you try to justify why you wear them is funny in it's own way because he likes when you do it.

[allbeendonebefore]

Any headcanons for Oliver? I read the list of headcanons for some of the other provinces that you did and I’m very curious.

oh boy those were ages ago i’ll dig up a few so i can remember the vibe of the things i wrote

for those of you just joining us, my past headcanon posts

BC | AB | SK | MB 1 + 2 | NB

while other provinces are torn between living in one city or another or out in the middle of nowhere, oliver doesn’t have that issue. he lives in toronto and holidays in one of an entire network of cottages across the province and does not feel conflicted about that in the least. and he doesnt live “in toronto” in the gta, he lives IN toronto in some old annex style house and good luck getting rid of him.

he LOVES living alone, he relishes his independence, he does NOT miss being trapped living with jean NOT ONE BIT!! he does NOT create fake arguments over what should go over the mantle or what to make for dinner with the chattery squirrel outside because he’s LONELY.

Self indulgent headcanon but since he understands how difficult it is to live in the city and how valuable a good education is, he will occasionally rent out the basement to a quiet and tidy university student or two. He has a soft spot for kids who are trying to find their feet and figure out who they are away from their parents (as long as they do their chores).

Despite his downtown living and his urban elite image, he has experience working in factories and on farms and that tends to catch people off guard. He knows his way around milking a cow and he loves to tinker with machinery, getting his hands dirty doesn’t bother him even though he does love to mope and solicit pity. 

he just cannot physically help being overdramatic and bitchy, it’s just the tough outer layer he developed trying to survive american assimilation (and jean’s cutting words lol). he thinks his sarcasm is among his most endearing quality, since the people who Get It always laugh.

OF COURSE THERE ARE GRADES OF MAPLE SYRUP ??? why Wouldnt there be

he thinks his most relatable story is tfw you cut the bag of milk too open and it sloshes everywhere and doesn’t get the mixed reception at parties

It’s not that he doesn’t drink or that he’s against drinking, per se, at least, not anymore. He just likes being the designated driver because he likes the moral high ground, not because he’s secretly a mother hen who wants everyone to get home safe. 

he grew up in the southern... peninsula (you know that... sorry i get so confused about whats north and west in ontario.)Anyway it’s not that he doesn’t Also represent Northern Ontario, it’s just sometimes hard to pry him out of his original comfort zone and he sometimes gets stuck in his own head in the south. 

it’s not like mani would know what to do with all that space up there anyway, it’s just best that he takes care of it, it’s always best that he be left to manage things, he’s just more organized, he’s the brains, he’s the one with the vision, no he does not accept constructive criticism, what kind of leader would he be if he was openly questioned... that’s not how he was raised at all. imagine, entertaining other people’s ideas. 

Ollie likes to think he’s the rational one but pretty much every move he made in his early days was out of fear and anxiety; he can sometimes be overly cautious and people who just go out and do things just baffle him. 

He’s really open with his feelings (particularly when it involves complaining, which he loves) but he’s horrible at delegating tasks or asking for help. He also gets easily frustrated when people have given up on helping him without him having to ask, but he still insists on trying to do everything himself.

is it weird i cannot fathom him in anything but an mlm relationship lol

He won’t forgive rude behaviour, even if he appears like a doormat to an American. He remembers when he’s been rude to and compensates by being overly polite. The only person who’s immune to this seems to be Jean, who always seems to be getting away with being rude...

that said he drops way more f-bombs than most of the others and americans always either think it’s either adorable (and make fun of his perceived accent) or are SO SHOCKED that their INNOCENT BABY FRIEND would have such LANGUAGE!

has such. a weird. distorted. romantic idea of what road trips are. i dont know if he knows how to travel in places where rest stops arent cleaned every couple hours or if he’s ever had to pee in the bush or stay in a place without electricity in the time that he’s owned a car. 

he’s always been a huge natural history nerd, he loves spending time in natural history exhibits and geeking out over weird birds and fish and minerals. 

shakespeare in the park anyone?! shakespeare in the living room??? shakespeare over zoom conference? reciting shakespeare while outside oil painting the fall colours?! DID SOMEONE MENTION SHAKESPEARE.

he also loves sailing and swimming and he’s got a weirdly extensive canoe collection squirreled away somewhere. 

had a LOT of pressure on him as a kid to be the Good and Perfect child, not like those nasty yankees. He’s not very good at acting out and being rebellious, but he will absolutely stand his ground on an issue that’s dear to him, particularly if his control over something is threatened. 

anywhere you can’t take a train to is fake adn should not have been counted

he’s still an avid tea drinker and has lots of opinions about tea time and has been making the same recipes for literally 200 years (jean puts up with this because he cannot be assed to make his own little fine cakes, ok, and if ollie has extra for him to take home its to his advantage. if oliver makes extra specifically because he knows jean likes them, that’s for him to know. and same with homemade fudge and butter tarts and candy and ice cream, neither of them outgrew their sweet tooth) 

also he’s somewhat motivated by jean’s blunt reactions to his baking because thats how he’s going to survive the blue ribbon baking and jam making events against those tough and bitter old ladies, jean is perfect practice (although some of his best and most nuanced insults don’t translate very well)

his french is not bad nor is he embarrassed of it, he’s annoying in both official languages.

he gets mad when you say he’s practically interchangeable with matt but he still seems to think the things he does are things that all canadians do or like or have, i mean, why wouldn’t they? but they still owe him for that.

he compensates for his relative lack of interest or seeming inability to ask the others how they’re doing (because thats rude! and prying! and he’s sure they’re just fine! he doesn’t meddle anymore because people get upset when he rearranges their pantries) with an almost weird obsession with his self image and what’s happening internationally