#its so. im so normal. AGH
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I think we need to discuss more about tbe fact that junpeis awakening involves him literally dying and getting revived. like that has got to feel so fucking strange afterwards. like he is literally on borrowed time. if chidori didn't choose to revive him he would've been shot and killed by takaya and that would've been it. knowing that has got to be so weird it's another level of near death experience good lord. like that shit fucks you up
#persona 3#p3#junpei iori#p3 spoilers#persona 3 spoilers#personal hc but. i know she did technically Heal him but i think itd be crazy if he like#still had a scar where the wound was. like he's just got a bullet wound scar on his chest now#which. would be crazy#and ive seen nobody talk abt the affects of being Revived on him before because like it would feel syrange as hell i bet#traumatizing clearly but in a different way#esp when you consider 1. his self-worth issues#2. chidori being the one to save his life and giving her life for his#(well she can be revived too but like still)#and 3. the psrt of the story where sees believes thwyre all going to die in a month and have to make that sadistic choice#its so. im so normal. AGH#trevor.txt
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finally finished another sketchbook good riddance🎉
#sth#doodles#hey would you guys believe me if i said this guy is on. every single page of said sketchbook. would NOT recommend#on one hand im pretty well versed in how to draw him and on the other i am oh so stuck. hes my only guy. sure i have a couple failsafes#but those only get me so far and im back to the rat again (affectionate) like. agh i need to get out of this#someone teach me how to study new stuff that would fix me#ok rant over im normal again. so sonic right#theres some prime stuff and frontiers too if you squint. looking at the third to last one#um. i think thats all i wanted to say. its 2am 🧍#binturong......
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ik i wear baggy clothes and i love my baggy clothes but jeeeesus. boy hips. <333 i love hips i love waist i love thighs i love love handles i love stretch marks i just aghjgfahsfshjkafdf im fuckin. bonkers abt boys.
#i gotta show my hips more i think LKGHSKJGHKSJD#i havent in. ages. its been so long since ppl have seen me outside of my baggy clothes yknow#i normally dont talk abt it bc it can make me dysphoric sometimes but still#like my hips and stuff can make me dysphoric but rn im just <33 agh <333#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#mlm thoughts#t4t#trans mlm#mlm blog#t4t yearning
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I want to draw. I have ideas to draw. I have an entire fucking au I want to draw
I can't draw
#MY MORTAL EXISTENCE IS A CURSE#AND WHEN I AM FREE I SHALL SET MY SIGHTS ON GOD#AND THEY SHALL KNOW NO MERCY#ok im normal now#period moments am i right *ba dum tss*#anyways agh i wanna draw my au so badlyyyyy and make an ask blog for ittttt#but i wanna do art and#i dont know if you guys know this but#i cant draw burning spice for the life of me#and#and its a burning spice centric au#so erm#yeagh
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Istg every time POC try to bring up a concern on racism. People will call US racist for connecting the dots. Like. Im sorry youre oblivious?
“youre racist for thinking this is racist / for connecting this to racism” hello??
#‘people headcanon frisk as black too. also a lot of ppl hc frisk as white’#bro a lot of ppl headcanon frisk as asian to what is ur point#also im not saying people shouldnt fucking hc frisk/kris as asian ok!#if you HC frisk/kris as asian then you especially need to watch your ass#you are on thin ice with me#if i headcanond frisk as asian (which i do) i would not draw them yellow#also did i not say PREVIOUSLY that the humans being yellow in game normalizes people (especially young people) not caring??#so people will HC frisk as asian and then no one tells them its fucked up if theyre yellow AGH.#‘UM EXCUSE ME why are you fucking hc’ing frisk and kris as asian’ bc im fucking asian????#someone called me fucking racist??#im asian and what to reclaim this weird fucking design and i also changed their skin tones??#at least im not white who calls them asian and draws them yellow??#fine. fine dont listen to me. dont listen to other asian people and other POC who bring this up#live in your oblivious world where you get mad that POC tell you shit abt this#literally every time Asian people and ESP Asian Americans bring up this issue you all get so pissed#im sorry for swearing at you?? whoever is reading this???#weve been talking about this for literal years.#dont you fuckijng thing theres a reason it keeps getting brought up for the past almost 10 YEARS.#talking#sorry for bringing my im a poc card??#god reminds me of what Chara was talking about last night#we grew up with debate classes and the reason for a good Discussion is bc you have to avoid fallacies right#so that means KNOWING your opponent#but in the internet were all anonymous. which is fine! you SHOULD NOT be obligated to bring up your identity at all#but do you know why in any other discussion thats why ppl online say ‘i have a doctorate and-‘ ‘ive studied thsi for 4 years and’?#and so i just keep thinking. ok so my perspective is i am asian right.#my perspective is i have heard from my brothers and sisters who LIVE in the west and their histories of racism and discrimination and propag#so im just wondering. who are the -eople mad at me?? what is your story? youre an artist who cant take criticism??#ok logging off again to eat my fucking burger#(actually not having a hurger rn but i wish)
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Quit comparing your ships to San and Ashitaka from Mononoke Hime. They will never be even close to being on the same level.
#im having a hater moment my bad#tai talks#i think i just get peeved bc san and ashitaka arent even romantically involved like !!!!!!!!!!#their understanding and love for one another is not just romantic like u guys be missing the point ..#and its not just about like. feral person a and soft person b like AGH. YOU GUYS R MISSING THE POINT OF BOTH OF THEIR CHARACTERS AAAAAAGH#<- guy who is so normal about mono/noke hime . i should be rewarded for how little i care about it#ashit/aka isnt even like. soft uwu baby ILL BITE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you guys r KILLIN me ...
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having to live and exist in one room that includes all of my houseplants truly hindering my circadian rhythm
#its like people do work night shifts and if i could idk#have a pitch dark room when the sun starts to rise#while im doing stupid surveys i cant pass up#i could probably fall asleep relatively normally/at least get the right amount of hours in even if its delayed#but uhhhhhh i do not have a single shade or curtain. in this room#so i get super awake around 5:30am :)#and then when i do fall asleep i wake up around 9:30am :)#and cannot fall back asleep or at least not for longer than 1 hour intervals :)#and having a sleep mask doesnt help bcus i need it to like...be dark...WHILE im working ghkhg AGH
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oooh the med switching. is making me want to chew on nails. it is Not Good.
#i dont know if its just the first few days being rough and I need to wait it out but strattera is making me like so. bitch mode. so angry#so irritable and exhausted#but adderall wasn't much better and neither was ritalin#and focalin made me feel worst of all#and ive been on wellbutrin and it Sucked the joy out of Everything#so. do I even have any other options that could work#I just want a brain that isn't like this#I want to function I want to make things I want to stop being absolutely useless#im so tired and so miserable just sitting staring into space like a brick with no brain#i feel so stupid and incapable and I have so many arts and stories and things I want to share and do. but the energy and the focus just.#it isn't there. it never is. I dont know how to exist like this#I just want to cry and be normal and feel better#I want to finish things I start I want to do the art I owe people I want to improve I want to grow#it feels like no matter how hard I struggle and flail and cry and fight it. I can't move#I can't get out of this frustrating little divet i've found myself in#im out of the pits of despair but now im in limbo. and sure its better sometimes. but is it really#its so. aaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh. agh. i dont want to be this way anymore. im going to bed im tired of this stupid fucking brain#delete later#vent
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crying at isat ending counter: 3
#I HATE THIS GAME (ive never loved a game more)#also i forgot how beautiful the final battle themes are.....#and like. there are plenty of games where ill tear up thats fine thats normal#this is the third time ive seen this in what couldve been a single month(?????!!!!!!!!) and im still legit crying rn#and oh!!!!! its coming soon!!!!!!! the one i havent even seen yet!!!!!!!!!!#aaaaaaaaa...............#soon................#isat#isat spoilers#especially for some of these next tags. beware#ALSO NEW DIALOGUE FOR ME SINCE I COMPLETED ALL THE SIDEQUESTS YEYEYEYYE#oh!!!! that part of bonnies is different.. i dont remember sif saying theyd explain their past to them before#and sif telling bonnie everyones ok even tho that never .. agh :')#this game is so cute. everyone is so cute i love this game to bits#sif n miras friendship is so dear to me.......#feelings buddies!!!!!!!!#sifffffff :'3#i think if i beat this game daily my depression would just cease tbh. alas. that is against the will of the game itself#WAIT I JUST NOTICED BOTH HAVE HEARTS IN THEIR EYES DURING THE CONFESSION .. aw :3#HDJSJBDMK HIS REACTION TO SIF TELLING HIM THEY .#OHHHH MY GOD????????? THAT FACE#SIF???????? GO BABY GO#'MAYBE WE SHOULD'............... DEAR LORD#ISA BLOWS U A KISS!!!!!!!!#im so happy for them god bless#ok. now . the thing i Really did this for. here we go here we go here we go
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I THOUGHT TDOS WAS JUST SILLY WHY AM I GRGRGRGRGRGRGGRGGRGRGRTGGRGGGGR
#osc#spinspoon speaks#WHAT#NO#IT CANT ENDIKE THAT HOW DARE YOU#NOOOOO#the end montage .......#ALSO I CANT GET OVER THE “YOU ARE ELIMINATED!!!!” THAT WAS SO#AGH#ALSO SKETCH PAD ?? RHE WAY MY JAW DROPPED#hi guys im not normal#THEY DIDNT GET TO LLAY FOR ITE 😭😭😭#WHAT THE FUCKKKK 😭
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oh my god how anyone put up with blisters im going insane
#toy txt post#me: haha its fine im going to be so normal about this its not that bad#me an hour later: im going to kill everything and remove my feet. this is the worst suffering anyone has ever experienced. i will die#its really probably not that bad i just never get blisters so now ik gonna be huge baby about it AGH#i can feel the left foot one throbbing this is the worst thing in the world
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at what point is it unacceptable to display human remains? i went to a museum recently and they had taken down the human remains historically displayed in that room as part of the founder's private collection. they had a sign displayed regarding the history of the museum, and asked how the viewer would feel if they walked into that room and saw their grandfather on display for people to sneer at.
and then i walked into the next room and saw a wall with a dozen skeletons behind glass. does it matter that many of them are thousands or tens of thousands of years old? does it matter that one was over a million years old? when does respect for the dead die?
#idk man. it really bothered me.#of course the situations are different but the way they explicity phrased it as disrespectful of the dead#in addition to the cultural disrespect and imperialist brutality of it... and then they lauded the bones they dug up#as horizon-breaking and science-changing and. i just. those are people.#they're people and they were buried and you took them from their graves and you polished their grave goods so we could point and grin#and i just. agh. AGH. whyyyy is it so normal why is it so casual why is it not a tragedy!#yeah we can learn about the past. i know that that is important im literally an archaeologist.#but do they deserve to be put on display like that.... cmon now....#at least do plaster casts or something. its so.........
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im gonna go lay on the ground somewhere and close my eyes and just pretend im not real for a bit i think
#i think i. need a break.#im so. im so!#yeah thats basically it!#theres so much more. there is so much going on. but i will not be disclosing that type of stuff on my tumblr account so sorry not sorry ig#agh im just tired and still not feelin too good so that means everythings bad all the time#yknow how its like this stereotype for men to be huge babies when theyre sick? i normally am. its either that or it just ruins everything-#-and i rot in bed for days wondering why in the world im still trying#anyway <3 love u gay ppl <3 i need to take a sec and chill out <3#kinda vent ig???
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All in all I'm angry because I sounded like a moron when I had to give my statement at four in the fucking morning after having to pull an immediate switch from day shift to night shift on short notice and like. Maybe 30 minutes of sleep. Other shit aside.
#''tell me what happened'' ''fuck man it was 3 in the morning and im running solely on nicotine and caffeine and hopes of better days idk''#** not actual statement#but its how im feeling rn#the worst part is that i really DONT KNOW what the fuck happened and thats why i freaked out after repeatedly being asked by customers#all i know is the guy came in and stole a chocolate and sat in his car for an inordinate amount of time#and that the vibes were fucking AWFUL#then when the one cop showed up there was like ten minutes of something or other and then two friggin more showed up#AGH.#ANYWAY. im venting here because i dont really have anywhere else to do so and like#im even MORE upset about the fact customers kept coming into the store and i had to just like. try to man the cash like normal#while dissociating the fuck out and getting questioned like crazy#even WORSE THOUGH? GUESS WHO HAD WHAT WAS APPARENTLY A PROPHETIC FUCKING DREAM#ABOUT FREAKING THE FUCK OUT ABOUT FEELING CLAUSTROPHOBIC AT THE REGISTERS WHILE PEOPLE WERE GOOFING OFF AND SHIT#I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE UPS AND DOWNS I JUST WANT LEVEL STABILITY. PLEASE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE.
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No one else seems to be as weird about and obsessed with animation (and the industry) as me (not openly at least) but I have never been good at writing about it so I just have to suffer
#THE WAY THATS#ITS#OOOOGHHHHH#jjk season 2 anyone?#absolutely mind blowing for an animation guy#i love animation so much#and art styles#SPECIFICALLY THE STYLES#THERES SO MANY OF THEM#EVERY MEDIA EVER HAS HAD A DIFFERENT STYLE#AGH#bear says things#im normal#im sane
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RRRAAAAAAAAAGHHHHGGGGGHHHH I LOVE NOTE BLOCK UNIVERSE AND THE KING AND SHOWDOWN AND WANTED AND RHE BOX
#im so so normal about this guys im so normal#i do NOT feel like my skeleton is vibrating. because i like this series a NORMAL AMOUNT#i dont even have words to say about it i just FEEL. AGH#what gorgeous animation and beautiful music and projecting infinite headcanons onto characters does to a person#i read that yellue tangled au fic today and its so good. its so good you have to read it#and its by an author who has the best grammar and such that i've ever seen from a stick fic#stickfic. im calling them that now hell yeah
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