#its so homophobic i cant eat it

[salemontrial]

If poison why does it smell like the worlds tasties smoothie. Riddle me this Garnier.

[bunnyb34r]

Yall don't know how hard God was testing me today at work 😭😭

Bootleg FGM was trying to string up wire for the new sign holder line in basics and he was right by me right? He starts getting the wire twisted and in a sing song voice he goes "why are you not straight?! Whyyy are youuu not! Straight!? Why're you not straight?"

And it took EVERYTHING in me to not out myself for the joke 😭😭😭😭 I wanted to go "well for one, I'm bi." SO BAD AGSGDGGDGDGS I was just standing there folding shirts like 🤐🤐🤐

[vamptastic]

danganronpa is whispering its siren song to me but alas nobody shares my big brain million iq opinions (drv3 hater) (korekiyo defender) (ishimaru understander) (celeste and hifumi apologist) (kaito hater) (protagonist love triangle poly advocate) (post sdr2 anime enjoyer) (fucking hates the writing bar the first half of sdr1 and ending of sdr2) (never even finished v3 because it was so dogshit terrible and also i genuinely can barely get through the minigames) (problematic psychological horror fan)

[plutonian-moon]

random astro

observations p6 !! ☆° ✩࿐

take what resonates leave what doesn't!!

▪2H aqua/cap (both saturn ruled) can have bad self esteem !!tw : ed!! : they can even struggling with food & body image !!end of tw!! ☆

▪we 12th housers need alone time to process thoughts and feelings ! ☆

▪4H gemini/IC-mercury/4H mercury can mean that u r oversharing family issues that u have or ur childhood trauma ☆

▪mutable dominants can changing their personality alot even without meaning this its just comes naturally to them !! ☆

▪u cant change minds peoples who r fixed dominants lmao ☆

▪3H uranus/aquarius mercury/mercury-uranus have very chaotic minds ☆

▪3H moons/gemini moons wants venting 2 someone when feeling bad about how they r feeling or just about this situation 2 feel better or u maybe like writing ur feelings alot bc this can help u ! ☆

▪3H placements (esp venus) + gemini placements in big 6 have pretty hands ☆

▪4H saturns/4H cap have parents that never allow u to have fun bc they were very strict :-( ☆

▪pisces placemets/stelliums can have artistic gifts ! ☆

▪5H is telling u about ur hobbies so here r some examples which hobbies u can have based of ur 5H placement/s , 5H cusp + 5H ruler :

5H pisces/5H neptune - drawing, spirituality/occultism, paranormal things, psychology, music, astrology, numerology ☆

5H gemini/5H virgo/5H mercury - writing, literature, history, sociology, mbti (u can like finding who u r bc u can struggle with this or just 4 fun) also with 5H virgo im thing of health relating topics like u can b very interested in reading about mental health issues for example also u can b very picky about ur hobby hmm with 5H gemini u can change ur hobby alot or have many hobby at once lolol and u can be very open 2 new hobbies ! ☆

5H scorpio/5H pluto - occultism, psychology, criminology, taboo topics (traumas etc), astrology, mbti, horror movies/games, with this placement u can b secretive about ur hobbies or only small group of peoples close 2 u know about them yea ☆

5H libra/5H taurus/5H venus - fashion, designing clothes, makeup, drawing ☆

5H sagittarius/5H jupiter - learnings new languages, others countries/cultures, philosophy and u can also b very open to trying new hobbies i think its just mutable signs energy lol ☆

5H aquarius/5H uranus - games, astrology, mbti, hmm im thinking of some unique hobby with aquarius energy like ur hobbies can be very different from others peoples ☆

▪aquarius placements/dominants can makes that u will fighting for lgbt+ rights etc u just cant stand homophobic, racism etc !

▪6H uranus + 10H uranus can changing their jobs alot ☆

▪u can relate to ur draconic chart more if u dont relate to ur natal chart ☆

▪persona charts can tell u alot more about specific placement than looking ONLY in this placement in ur natal chart ☆

▪12th house rules hidden enemies .. when u r like me 12th houser then u need to b careful with peoples bc they can b ur hidden enemies hmm (esp when u have 12h sun, 12h mercury, 12h venus, 12h lilith, 12h pluto, 12h mars) ..

when u have for example ☆ :

mercury in 12h then ur hidden enemies can be peoples that r "friends" with u .. they will b just faking that they like u but .. they will b secretly hate u and talk shit about u .. ☆

▪when u r 12th houser then peoples energy can draining u alot .. so thats why its important 2 have alone time ! ☆

▪chiron in 1h, 4h, 7h and 10h can makes that others easly see ur pain (this can apply also 2 asc-chiron and sun-chiron peoples (esp. conjunctions) ☆

▪virgo 2h/aquarius 2h r picky when it comes 2 eating food ☆

▪3h also rules school hmm ur 3h sign + 3h ruler sign and house + aspects can give u how u r in school, how others see u in school !! ALSO CHECK 3H PLANETS IF U HAVE ANY ! ☆

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works

[l0stfoster]

Hey its paul anon again (thanks for the name 🫡) sorry ive been bombarding you with questions but I absolutely love this au and i love everyone to bits

So, can you go into more detail about darry and paul . Like, as much info abt them as you can throw at me those two are my boys . Like how did they officially get together , how did Paul go abt moving in and whats that situation like .

Also, when Paul is like kicked out and cut off from the family, does he end up just,, losing everything? I mean like, did his parents even let him get his belongings or did all he have was the clothes on his body and trauma. I would imagine his parents had control over his bank account too so they like shut that down too so he’s out here broke as fuck JHSJSHSJ sorry im just yapping

Anon never apologizes for asking I'm so open to answering them bc I love this au and I adore that so many people like it too. Parry fans are eating good bc the writers love Cursed!Parry just as much. I'll answer your questions ab them before I yap. To be totally honest, those two did not ever really make it official. Doing that requires two things they lack; emotional openness and no internalized homophobia. They both told themselves for the longest time that it wasn't a relationship... even after they started saying "I love you" in Latin and Fae respectively (Paul knows Latin bc spells, Darry knows Fae for obvious reasons), or when each other realized managed to figure out WHAT the other was saying,, or when they started sharing a bed and waking up intertwined,,, or when they started using far too affectionate pet names,,, or when things became far too intimate for it to be casual. They never actually make it official, one day they just slip into calling each other their boyfriends. The most official it ever got was when they flat out went "Oh yeah, we're dating" to the gang. The gang was making bets on that, by the way. Pony said weeks, Soda said a month, Steve said two, Two-Bit said a year. Ace got it right down to the date and time, nobody knows how she did it. They have no anniversary because they have no fucking idea when they really "got together". Paul never truly moved in either, he kinda just went from crashing there whenever his car wasn't an option, to taking up the couch almost every night, to sleeping in Darry's room, and eventually, it was just an unspoken thing that he was officially a member of the household. They have to kick him out for the day whenever the social worker comes to check on things, cause Darry can NOT take the risk of some kind of bad outcome to his mere existence. OK MORE GENERAL PARRY - Being with Paul reminds Darry that he's only 20 and still allowed to be something other than "the adult" sometimes. That brings a whole KIND of happiness that he can't describe. Dude's tail is fucked up due to physical trauma but that bitch wags so fast with Paul. - Darry on the other hand just generally grounds Paul. He's so used to the way of life that was on the west side that everything going on there is overwhelming sometimes. - They're very bad with vocal I love you's in English but they will say that shit ALL the time in different languages or through their actions. - Uh after Paul got jumped and had his letterman jacket stolen, Darry gave him an old denim jacket of his own bc Paul hated having his arms out in the open. - Pony audibly gags every time they're lovey-dovey. He's not homophobic unless you're Paul and Darry. - They'd shotgun cigarettes when they were younger (and the only reason they don't anymore is the account of Darry wanting to keep the fact that he smokes every rare occurrence on the down low) - Darry's purring has healing properties like a cat's purr (all of the brothers' have it actually) so this mf will just drag Paul down to cuddle and purr. - They are.. so down bad for each other. Darry does anything and Paul swoons, and they've def had an interaction that goes something like this: Paul, knowing Darry cant lie: "How do you feel about me right now?" Darry, immediately: "I'd marry you if I could." Paul & Darry:

As for being kicked out, Paul's parents quite literally just. Booted him, barely a warning. One minute he's arguing back for the first time since their keeping up appearances at the police event, and the next he's being dragged by the arm and shoved out of the house with threats of being killed if he dares to show his face back there. Just like that, all of it's pretty much gone; save for the clothes on his back and whatever he'd been carrying-- which was really only his car keys and his wallet. He was sleeping in his car for a bit until Two and Pony vaguely got on his ass because Darry's calls were going to voicemail and he was stupid enough to let it slip that he wasn't living at home anymore. Pony, being Pony, snitched. Can't have shit with that little gremlin around- so after finding his dumbass after having had the equivalent of an aneurism over suddenly being ghosted by Paul, Darry extended the offer for Paul to stay with them. He doesn't mind it being a permanent solution, but Paul is.. less fond for a few reasons; so he tries not to impose much while he looks for work. (He does eventually get something sorted out, so yippie! Helps with the bills what a guy) FORGOT TO ADD. He sneaks home at one point to try and get some of his shit because he knows where the spare key is, but gets cold feet at the door because he genuinely doesn't know if his dad will keep up with that threat.

[demvalhaken]

I will eat your house

HOLY SHIT I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE 4 DAYS, SORYY GUYS IVE BEEN FOCUSED ON SCHOOL, I HAVE TO GET A VIOLIN PLAYING VIDEO IN BY FRIDAY AND I CANT EVEN PLAY THAT WELL DUDES!!! PRAY FOR ME GUYS, I CANT EVEN GET MY HOMEWORK DONE, I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!

Anyways Queen Bloodlust is a very large black widow cus her immortality causes her to never stop aging/growing… She used to be Divine’s height

Oh yeah if you didn’t read the older post about Bloodlust which is also buried in the termite post. Divine (Guy at the bottom right) is her great-great-great-fucking too many great grandson, he’s king of the spiders, they do not care if its a king or a queen, they are desperate

I’m like the hugest nerd ever, I watched an in depth video about cannibalism and then I proceeded to eat all of that information so I can babble to my friends that don’t even listen to me… I wish I could talk to people rather than somehow ruining my relationship with everyone, it’s giving Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives. There’s also like 100 Tyler, The Creator songs in my playlist, there’s a 50% chance after every song that it’s Tyler. It’s crazy how good I am at being lonely, like bro, why can’t I keep friends with me without doing something wrong… at least my teachers are nice to me :D

Wtf am I on, please don’t give me coffee, It brings the locked up depression out of my brain. I actually don’t think the depression left from Covid… I think it’s just been dormant… GUYS THIS MIGHT BE A HUNCH BUT I THINK IM NOT OKAY!!! Sorry if I go off track in literally every single post, my brain wanders too much. MY HANDS ARE SO FUCKING DRY, THEY BURN, THEY HURT, AND THEY ARE BLEEDING :( I’m still gonna wash my hands 40 times a day, no one can stop me

STOP YAPPING BRO THATS TWO PARAGRAPHS GET TO THE LORE

Queen Bloodlust misses her home because after a battle/war, they had to move, this was during the reign of Bloodlust’s mother, her mom died in the fight… poor Bloodlust, forced to live eternally and watch everyone around her perish slowly

All lore previously stated is subject to change as I’m always rethinking lore but it does stay fairly consistent and rarely changed unless its boring and bothering me

Okay love you guys, sorry for yapping, also be a menace to society, just don’t eat uranium

Edit:

Hehe reference, this was during the drawing, I got bored

Edit 2: Why are my parents always mad at me for washing myself constantly, like bitch what? You can’t just say “stop” and expect that one word to work, I’m just trying to keep some goddamn cleanliness! It’s like they want me to be covered in grime, dirt, spilled drinks, and grossness! Then they get to be homophobic and racist without any consequences when that’s literally worse than being clean 24/7 and tired. At least I actually like black people, we literally all have the same insides, stfu parents… ALSO THEY SAY THAT OFFENSIVE WORD, LIKE BRO WE ARE VAMPIRES YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT

[couchsterfield]

i am very guilty of reading american psycho solely on the text/surface level stuff, like how i focus alot on characters and relationships like with McDermott and Price, when the whole point of those characters are to be part of this shallow and uncharacteristic culture, that they actually shouldn't even HAVE any charm to them at all, and obviously-- they are yuppies!! they are racists, misogynists, homophobes and its shown multiple times how they tease and humiliate homeless people.

so obviously i dont "like" these characters in the same way i like.. idk vash the stampede or whoever, because actually they can all go fuck fheirselves!! Im actively MISSING the POINT by focusing or being entertained by the people around Bateman since they are supposed to faceless interchangeable characters that dont matter

but still, i cant help but be entertained by all of their social interactions and i dont know WHY 😭 even the scenes that are meant to showcase how boring shallow and materialistic they are fails to bore me and im instead gigglimg at everything

like van patten constantly saying "we have like zero point zero zero zero zero one decimal percent of getting aids" or whatever is so funny cus girl shut up and eat ur food😭😭

and you cant sit here and tell me craig mcdermott's being so insanely funny as someone interchangeable LIKE SORRY but bob farrell cannot start chanting red snapper pizza like craig mcdermott can ✋

biggest example is the chapter "another night" where they spend like 4 hours trying to get a reservation. ITS SO FUNNY IMNSORRY..!! like the ridiculousness of it all just makes it so hilarious, like guys its never that serious.......

And i could write SO much about the depth of tim price as a character?? like hes just supposed to be this guy of higher status that patrick looks up to but all that is implied characterizes him alot !!??

I dont know.. again, i dont have that media literacy to read the subtext , (i mean OBVIOUSLY i can figure out the story being the critique of the overconsumption and materialism of yuppie culture and bateman being a result of it ) and it does sorta guilt me to be giggling over an interaction or a relationship between characters especially since everyone disregards these characyers as just faceless nothingness in batemans life, like no im not supposed to read the dialogue so literally they are meant to be filler empty conversations that mean nothing

But yeah i still love reading about these characters, idk what my main takeaway is, i guess tldr: i understand the point of these characters, i dont condone any of them actually but i still enjoy them

[i-love-dopamine]

"buck from 911 is so hot i love him" -my ex today

"wait doesn't he have a boyfriend??" -me, forced to sit in the same room as her

"yeah but its ok i can fix him"

disgust.jpeg

i DONT CARE IF YOU THINK BUCK IS HOTTTTT OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDD LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEE I DIDN'T ASKKKKKKKKKK YOU FUCKING "i cant be homophobic my friend is a lesbian and i think (person we both know)'s mom is hot!!" FUCK YOU OH MY GODDDDDDD THIS IS THE SAME WHORE WHO SAID SHE COULD FIX ALASTOR FROM HAZBIN AND GOT ALL PISSY WHEN I CALLED HER HOMOPHOBIC WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLL EAT FUCKING WOODSHAVINGS FLAT ASS BITCHHHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE I USED TO DATE YOU THE FUCKKKKKK I LITERALLY GET GAYER EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO MEEEEE I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOUUUUUUUU HES LITERALLY BI AND HAS A BOYFRIEND????? YOU WOULDN'T 'FIX' HIM BY SEDUCING HIM HES ALREADY BI??????????? PLUS HE WOULDN'T CHEAT ON HIS BOYFRIEND UNLIKE SOMEONE IM TALKING TO???????????? LITERALLY FUCK ALL THE WAY OFFFFF TO SUPERHELL WITH YOUUUUU JACK IS NOT LETTING YOU INTO HEAVENNNNNNNNN BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YOU FUCKING NASTY BITCHHHH AND YOU WONDER WHY ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS HAVE ENDED POORLYYYYYYYYYY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUU GET THERAPYYYYYYYYYY

[three-cheers-for-my-balls]

MY FAVORITE RTC QUOTES

when you've been alone as long as i have, you tend to anthropomorphize your friends. (karnak)

-If you believe both armrests are yours exclusively, you are part of the problem. (karnak)

-even in competition against yourself, you can still walk away a loser (ocean)

-he was inspired by traditional african folk music, specifically the lion king (constance)

-raise a middle finger to that most ruthless adjudicator called time (karnak)

-i hope i wiped my browser history clean (constance)

-democracy rocks! (ocean)

-i trade mostly in prophecies that dont make any sense until they actually do (karnak)

-even in death i can't escape her- she's followed me to the afterlife! (noel)

-well played satan, well played (noel)

being the only gay man in a small rural highschool is like having a laptop in the stone ages. sure you can have one but theres nowhere to plug it in (noel)

When a lioness has children, she sops making love to the lion. the lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous he eats the children. You think this would upset the lioness. far from it. they make love again like the children never existed. (jane/penny)

-noooo i cant get any wifi up in this bitch (mischa)

-my gansta persona is only armour to conceal the fact that i am naked child wandering through the wilderness holding in my hands my wounded fragile heart (mischa)

-that was wack (mischa)

-i dont know how it is in your culture but in ours, playing games with peoples lives? super illegal (ocean)

-if its yellow, let it mellow. if its brown scoop it out with your hand and put it in the compost (karnak)

-some people are right wing, some people are left wing but last time i checked it takes 2 wings to fly. we are community we are family, we are the world (ocean)

-what you need is a fother-mucking hero (ocean)

-your cousin was in grade 4 he had to get his stomach pumped (ocean)

-you challenged my preconcieved notion that all gay dudes are fun to be around (ocean)

-OHHHH sweet jesus christ. on a bike. (noel)

-its like a slurpee woodstock (noel)

-a s.xual provacetour and a novelist. who never wrote a novel. or had sex (noel)

-GOD DAMMIT CAN YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR ONE SECOND YOU HORRIBLE SUCCUBUS (noel)

-that was DOOOOOPEE YOOOOO (mischa)

-mad wicked awesome! (mischa)

-fornication under consent of the king (jane/penny)

-in my country it is natural for 2 men to show affection by kissing… not always in heels (mischa)

-theres a difference between affection and smut (ocean)

-not in my bible baby, bonsoir (noel)

mine will only have profanity in chorus (mischa)

-little orphan a hole (mischa)

-teen sex? kills (ocean)

-porno is magical (ricky)

whattt just because im all gangsta dont automatically make me homophobic. its not cool to be homophobe in rap game anymore since macklemore dropped same love. that sh.t was emotionally devastativing yo. (mischa)

he turned to the last fashion of pure stregnth and masculinity in society, self agrandizing commercialized hiphop (karnak)

grab yo dicks if you in the 306 bruh (mischa)

-autotune will never die (mischa)

-my rage has subsided, i am vulnerable now (mischa)

and that is why not everybody should have a library card! and you should vote for me (ocean)

and this is why you both SUCKED at math (ocean)

-on the other hand, given the context of german history, being a party spoiler might be a good thing. (karnak)

-i guess you could say im pretty sexy on another planet (ricky)

i told you moneky lovedrop (ricky)

-life is hard enough without making up reasons to be dicks to each other (ricky)

-incredible~ (ricky)

-theres only one commandment in the bachelor man bible: dont be a dick (ricky)

-we listen to you now space jesus (mischa)

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Someone tell these dick head anons that traveling can be for several reasons, even jkkrs knows about it. So there's no need to come like your pea sized brain got a gotcha moment. These people literally operate in 2d world it seems. Or are they too dumb to even understand how a real world works ?

1. THE MAIN REASON FOR THEIR TRAVELING IS THE TRAVEL VLOG THEY ARE FILMING. THATS WHAT FANDOM AND MEDIA KNOWS AND THATS WHAT THE OFFICAL EVENT THEY ARE TRAVELING FOR YOU MORONS. BUT THEY CHOSE TO DO IT WITH EACH OTHER KNOWING HOW THEY WILL BE SEPERATED FOR SOME TIME TILL THEY FINISH THEIR SERVICE, MAKING AS MUCH AS BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES WITH EACH OTHER BEFORE ENTERING MILITARY. YOUR DENIAL IS A PERFECT COVERUP FOR JKK... KEEP DOING IT...👏👏

2. DEAR UNEDUCATED BITCHES, ONCE YOU START ENLISTING PROCESS YOU CANT TRAVEL OUT OF THE COUNTRY UNLESS ITS FOR WORK RELATED. DO YOU THINK JKK CAN JUST GO FOR A LOVEY DOVEY TRIP, EVEN AS PRIVATE ? NOPE. SO THIS SCHEDULE IS A PERFECT COVER UP FOR THEM TO TRAVEL AND SPENT TIME TOGETHER BUT ALSO FINISH THEIR COMMITED WORK SCHEDULES. IF YOU ARE A TKKR READING THIS, MAYBE ASK TAE TO FIND SOME JOB ABROAD, SCHEDULE IT IN THE COUNTRY JENNIE IS CURRENTLY IN AND TRAVEL THERE BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE CAN HAVE A FOREIGN TRIP WITH HIS GF AS HE ALREADY STARTED MS PROCESS. IF YOU ARE AN INSECURE JKKR/ JKKR COSPLAYING AS TKKR/ HOMOPHOBE... PLEASE RESPECTFULLY F OFF 🙏🏾

3. DOES THESE SHITWIPES THINK IF THEY TRAVELED A WEEK TO JAPAN THEY CANT TRAVEL TO ANY OTHER PLACES, TOGETHER OR ALONE, ANYMORE ? NOPE... JIMIN AND JK ARE BOTH VERY IN DEMAND.. MOST SUCCESSFUL BTS SOLOISTS, UNLIKE YOUR FAVS WHO COULDNT EVEN CRACK A TOP 50 IN BB, WHO HAVE MULTIPLE COMMITMENTS EVERY DAY. JK WAS WORKING NON STOP FOR MONTHS AND JM WAS LITERALLY FILMING TILL THE DAY HE LEFT FOR JAPAN WITH LOVE OF HIS LIFE. AND GUESS WHAT? THEY STILL CHOSE TO TRAVEL WHEN THEY COULD.

4. ONCE THEY COME BACK TO SEOUL, THEY'LL BE BACK TO VERY HECTIC SCHEDULES, PROBABLY EVEN MORE HECTIC. NO, THEY ARENT GONNA SIT BACK AND CHILL LIKE SOME OF YOU ALL THINK. THEY ARE FILMING CONTENTS FOR COMING 2 YEARS...JM IS WORKING ON A MV AS FAR AS WE KNOW, DOING PHOTOSHOOTS, FILMING FOR DIOR AND TIFF... WHILE JK IS HAVING HIS OWN SCHEDULES ABROAD AND IN KOREA... BOTH OF THEM WILL BE TRAVELING OUTSIDE THE COUNTRY ACCORDING TO THEIR SCHEDULES. MAYBE THIS IS THE ONLY WEEK THEY ARE BOTH FREE SO THEY CHOSE TO SPEND IT TOGETHER. UNLIKE YOUR JOBLESS ASS, THEY ARE BUSY.

5. THEY ARE FILMING TRAVEL VLOGS IN JAPAN WHICH IS EDITED TO JUST 20 MIN EPISODES SO YOU ARENT GONNA SEE HOW THEY SPEND THEIR WHOLE DAY IN JAPAN LIKE THE LOVELY COUPLE THEY ARE. THEY COULD BE HUG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, MAKE OUT IN A CLUB, FUCK IN THEIR HOTEL ROOM.... AND ALL WE WILL BE SEEING IS A 20 MIN EPISODE OF THEM PLAYING IN SNOW, SNOWBOARDING, CHATTING RANDOM THINGS AND EATING. THEY COULD ALSO BE FILMING MULTIPLE SOLO GIGS TOO... IF THATS WHAT YOUR DOUBTS ARE. THEY CAN FILM A DANCE PERFORMANCE, PROBABLY ATTEND MAMA, DO A PHOTOSHOOT OR WHATEVER THEIR JOB IS. UNLIKE YOUR UNLOVED SELFS... THEY HAVE LOT OF LOVE TO EACH OTHER BUT AT THE SAME TIME ARE PROFESSIONALS.

6. AFTER THEM SPENDING TIME WITH EACH OTHER, AFTER THEY FINISH THEIR WORK COMMITMENTS... PROBABLY A WEEK OR 2 BEFORE ENLISTMENT, THEY'LL GO TO THEIR HOMETOWN... MEET THEIR PARENTS, FREINDS AND FAMILY AND SPEND TIME WITH THEM. I KNOW YOU ALL CANT RELATE AS YOU ALL DOESNT HAVE A LOVING FAMILY OR REAL FREINDS...SINCE ALL YOU HAVE TIME FOR IS TO DRAG AN INNOCENT BOY BECAUSE HE'S DATING YOUR FAV.

7. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO USE OF TAKING YOUR STINKY ASSES HERE TO WHINE BECAUSE YOU ALL DIDNT GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. JKKRS KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING, JKK DO THEIR THING, YOUR FAVS DO THEIR OWN THINGS... NO ONE REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR WHINNINGS... MAYBE GO AND OVERDOSE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO WHEN YOU SEE JKK, MAYBE JUMP OFF FROM A CLIFF OR ADMIT YOURSELF TO ASSYLUM. NOTHING WILL CHANGE THE WORLD, JIMIN, JUNGKOOK, THEIR RELATIONSHIP, THEIR CAREER OR THEIR FANS.

I hope I put some kind of light in to your non existent braincells. Now take your stupid self from here... you look like an unwanted trash bag here.

Dear sky, please don't censor anything 🙏🏾... I really want everything to pierce through their eyes and brains if they have any 🙂 And just post this whenever they come back with any new discoveries or theories lol.. I've included almost everything I can.. let them get mad when they aren't getting the attention and answer from you everytime.

Hello,

Your time to shine because the haters are back!

I'll just keep reblogging this over and over.

Thank you for sharing these FACTS!

:)

[inventedfangirling]

Hello this is basically a long post about me sorting through my feelings about bad buddy and why it means so much to me.

So over the past few weeks ( i first watched the show 7 weeks ago) ive been trying to figure out what exactly about bad buddy and patpran in particular have got me so inexplicably fond and devoted to them and apart from the usual answers of great writing, directing, performances and the best most electric chemistry and banter known to humankind, i did arrive at couple of other answers too.

First of all pat and (especially) pran are deep and well rounded characters.

Their worlds feel lived in and real.

Their feelings and thoughts and motivations are of course excellently portrayed by both ohm and nanon. and they gave representation to queer people everywhere. pat being the pan/ bi king he is and pran being the gayest babyboy warrior poet ever. pran especially given his repressed nature and emotional closed-off-ness is somebody a lot of people surely saw themselves in, including myself. seeing myself represented like that starting off the way he is and then taking small steps one by one over the course of the whole show (and over years in the show's universe) to arrive at the more assured, more open, more ready to be vulnerable (but still very much the pran we all loved in the first episode itself) was so wonderful to see.

The fact that the show happens in a non homophobic universe doesnt take away from just how special it was seeing queer characters fall, be and stay in love. and most importantly that they got their happy ending (i wont be hearing anything against this cos the ending was happy, despite the slightly bittersweet tinge of it, it was happy and there shall be no counter arguments begone i cant with that)

That episode 12 gave a glimpse of their future.

A world where pat will one day be able to sit with pran in his house eating food made by dissaya. that pran and pat's mom work on a common hobby together cos why not. a world where they no longer have to hide, a world were they could well and truly thrive.

Its so so important as queer people that we get representation and that in a world that is often cruel to the likes of us especially here in asia, that we see happy adult queer lives, where they can be in love in the most mundane of ways.

Patpran and bad buddy gave us that and i will forever be thankful for it.

That still doesn't capture exactly why i rate them as a couple so so highly in my head.

So i thought of patpran in the context of all the other love stories i could possibly remember watching. i thought of some of my top favourite couples - mondler, phil & claire, schmidt & cece, peraltiago, leslie & ben, jack & rebecca, randall & beth, simon & wilhelm, jaeyong & sangwoo, ji hyun & jaewon, bai lang & xun an, tara & darcy, sumi & rimjhim and so so many more and what stood out for me when it came to patpran was that they were the one couple out of all these couples i adore who didnt let anything get between them once they got together.

Every other couple among the ones ive listed have had jobs or other relationships or distance or parents or workplace rules /etiquette or circumstances or the royalty standing in between their love and as a result causing the couple to break apart ( a couple of episodes for mondler to seasons of confusion for peraltiago and schmidt & cece etc) even if briefly.

Except for phil & claire (who btw wasnt even sure about marrying phil when she did) almost none of these couples got together and stayed together throughout their relationship. and yes i agree that a lot of these obstacles and circumstances are very real and taxing and no wonder people chose their own peace at least for a while to deal with everything BUT i just cant help feel more appreciative of pat pran even more cos these two 19 year olds figured this whole thing out faster than any of those full grown adults did.

And yes its fictional and maybe even unrealistic (given the kind of relationships i see irl) yet patpran really do deserve all the love they get. they do deserve a lot of props.

Its not like they didn't have adverse obstacles standing in their way, they had to fight against their families years and years of lies and all the intergenerational trauma and their faculty rivalry and a shitty friend who outed them and any single one of these should have caused at least 12 episodes worth of conflict and miscommunication in any other couple.

And yes i do recognise that bbs didnt have the luxury of time or multiple seasons but they could have kept them apart for a whole episode at least, i was convinced we were in for that at the end of episode 8 as the aftermath of wai outing them. like there is no way the relationship comes out of it unscathed ( i thought! ). and while im sure they personally were rattled and betrayed (pran more so), instead of blaming anybody else or each other they actually chose to handle it together, they worked together and chose to move forward together.

The fact that such a terrible experience instead of breaking them apart actually reaffirmed to both pat and pran just how much their relationship means to the both of them, that they come out of it actually stronger??

i was friggin shook to my core.

And then came the gunshots and the family finding out and the running away and the coming back and the fake breakup and the pressures of all of this should have been enough to drive a serious wedge between any two characters, especially at their age and lack of experience. and yet??? and yet at each obstacle they get up, they draw the other closer and they get down to working on it together again.

Over and over and over and over again.

So for me what separates patpran from everybody else is the fact that ever since they got together, they have chosen eo, intentionally, that has made the difference.

Pat and pran's story may have been destined ( i personally don't know if i believe in destiny). they may have been born neighbours and felt unexplainable intense feelings (that later turned to love) for the other but when it came down to it, at its core, bad buddy soars when the two come together and they choose to keep being together, despite everything that stands in their way.

Love is a choice. love is a sacrifice. but its also a sacrifice and a choice they made for themselves and for each other and above all for their relationship.

Almost all the couples mentioned above arrive at similar destinations but they arrive at it with years of experience and years of struggle. i just cant help marvel at our teenagers who did love better than whole ass adults double their age could.

And more importantly above the awe i feel inspired and hopeful because they showed me that there's always a choice. thats there's always another option. you dont need to get out of your comfort zone. but you also dont need to be in the comfort zone always. you dont need to keep lying to yourself. you dont need to hide every single part of you. there are always other options. there is always a choice.

That hope is not just a noun its also very much a verb. That you and i and each one of us can make that choice.

That if ever i choose to partner up with someone and if we do proper healthy communication (patpran invented healthy communication and consent btw, they deserve EVERYTHING for just that but thats a whole other post) prioritizing the relationship where it mattered, i too could have something ( even remotely) like their love.

For the first time in my life probably i felt like that kind of love was attainable for me if i wanted to pursue it. They gave me hope. and they gave me joy. and i will never not be unbelievably grateful for it.

[nix-for-kix]

MORE WENCLAIR SNAKE AU

……..because I’m obsessed (I’m just gonna like info dump all the thoughts in my head so be prepared)

So one day Enid is going on a jog around campus and she sees this big ass snake on the side of the road on the brink of death and brought it to Wednesday and was crying and was like “fix her” and Wednesday was like “Like Taxidermy ?” And Enid was like “NO “ and then she’s like “fine my uncle taught me the joys of electroshock therapy” and fucking zaps the snake and that somehow works and they keep the snake and Enid names her fluffy and Wednesday absolutely hates the name but then Enid says something like “Her middle name can be Nero if you want” and Wednesday stops complaining about the name.

Wednesday and fluffy have very similar reactions to thing Enid says.

Enid: *crying over dog videos*

Fluffy and Wednesday: 😐

Fluffy Wednesday and Enid all go out to the woods whenever it’s a full moon and Enid and Fluffy play and shit and Wednesday watches (if thing finds a picture like the one below on Wednesday’s camera role then she’ll blackmail him into silence)

One day Enid takes Fluffy to class with her because….

E: it’s her birthday

W: Enid you found her in the side of the road half dead there is no way you know her birthday

E: I do too

W: pray tell how

E: Ajax told me

W: Ajax ?

E: yeah I take fluffy to go on play dates with Ajax so she can socialize with other snakes :)

W: snakes are know to be solitary creatures ?

E: well fluffy likes them right girl

F: *slithers around*

E: see

W: …..ok fine but that still doesn’t explain how you know today is her birthday

E: Oh she told Ajax’s snakes who then told me

Ajax and Enid share snake care tips

Oh yeah forgot to mention that Fluffy is a full grown black and white ball point python so do with that what you will.

She escaped from a zoo near Jericho and since the mayor is freshly dead and the sheriff was a bit preoccupied with a certain Hyde incident a rouge snake was the last thing on his mind so Fluffy just kinda slithered over towards Nevermore and got fuckin bodied by a car

Thing and fluffy are besties

E: ah shoot i forgot something in class, Thing could you watch Fluffy for a bit

T: (thumbs up)

E: you’re the best

*fluffy and thing look at each other*

—————————

*Wednesday and Enid walk in seeing Thing riding Fluffy like a horse a tiny cowboy hat and bandana on the disembodied hand*

So even though Wednesday will never outright admit it, Fluffy has definitely grown on her. Like she loves that snake.

E: Wednesday have you seen fluffy ? I cant find her anywhere and its time for her to go to the vet for a check up

W: *in bed under the covers* and what make you think I know where she is

*covers move slightly as a bit of fluffy's tail peeks out of the covers*

*enid and wednesday just stare at each other*

E: *pulls back the covers to reveal fluffy tightly coiled around wednesday* really ????

W (to fluffy): I told you she would find out

F: *sad slithers*

Fluffy is the homophobic dog meme

Wednesday, Enid, Fluffy and Thing all watch movies together every Friday night after the Hyde incident it’s kind of a long-standing thing and very important to Enid. Wednesday acts like she could care less but if anything that she needs to do comes up on a Friday she reschedules or does it really fast to make at least some part of the movie night. Every week someone new gets to pick a movie so like Enid usually picks a romcoms, Wednesday always picks horror (the scream movies are her favorite) Thing picks silent movies, and Fluffy always picks Disney movies. One week it’s Fluffy’s turn to pick the movie but a new Scream movie had just came out and Wednesday really wanted to watch it so Wednesday bribed Fluffy

W: I realize it is your week to choose but might I interest you in this cinematic masterpiece

F:…

W: fine if you choose this movie I will personally find you a big juicy rat for you to eat from my collection

F: …

W: fine two

F: ….

W: you drive a hard bargain 3

F: *slithers approvingly*

W: pleasure doing business with you

Enid spends most of the movie curled into Wednesday’s side. (And while Wednesday did enjoy the scream franchise the werewolf practically sitting in her lap was a plus)

I am running out of space to write so imma reblog with some more

[lazaruspiss]

DC Pride 2021

ive been meaning to do a read through of the DC Pride series all June. and, well. technically still June!

oh my god i recognize the name of the guy who wrote the foreword as the guy who wrote the shitty at best and misogynistic at worst nightwing 96 annual. so, uh, setting that aside for now, lol. the foreword is very sincere and sweet and im not gonna be one of those assholes who refuses to acknowledge that bc he wrote some dogwater nightwing comic years ago.

this isn't actually my first time reading most of the DC Pride comics, just my first time taking notes as I go through them. I do remember 2/3 of the Kate stories bringing me to tears, even when I didn't really know anything about her character.

ok yeah this one still gets me. go read it. for reference, i start crying the page before we first see kate cry. it's beautifully illustrated, and hits me right where it hurts.

john constantine hits on a extraño, listens to him tell a story about how he and midnighter fought a homophobic neo nazi vampire, and then john invites him and his werewolf husband to a threesome.

i love the vibes thatre just. like its so cliche noir detectives, but lesbians. and the dorky ending. MWAH, chefs kiss.

shout out to the guys that just stay sat eating their food as a giant plant monster tears up the park. while im not at all a fan of the "kiss and make up" trope(s), i do appreciate that this story at least gives some mention to how ivy and harley kinda approach their relationship from opposing angles. like, i like harlivy well enough, but my ideal world is one where they learn about themselves by being together but eventually move on from their romantic relationship and explore new things. i just don't like how heavily DC seems to have tied them together since they became canon. their friendship before was more romantic/compelling in my eyes, somehow.

this one's about alan scott! his history with his sexuality, explored through his relationship with his son. it's an incredibly important angle to look at these things through, the gap between generations and the changes that took time. it's easy enough to forget all that, sometimes. it's fun seeing the difference between how father and son describe the queer experience. it's also just really sweet.

ohhh they made mirror master hot... reflek... dumbass name but a killer outfit. this ones more about the flash family tradition of trying to do it all and bein a bit of a mess, lol.

love that pied piper goes to this guy and is like "yeah ok, i appreciate the effort but this doesn't actually work. like you're right but we gotta figure smth else out bc the world don't work like that." also they do use the phrase "mind-rapey" which for some reason gets me. then they go threaten a landlord <3

pretty sure the main girl "Dreamer" is from a CW show or something, so i've never heard of her. her powers seem cool and the story is cute enough, but i assume it all makes more sense to those who have seen the show.

one of these days ill learn anything about other aqualad. there's a lot going on in this one and i find it hard to follow. it's supposed to be a big "everyone together!!" moment i think, but the story lengths don't allow for enough build up to really pull stuff like that off.

and the end is a bunch of arrowverse profiles, i think. you cant make me watch a CW show, sorry.

[konnoiseur]

i would genuinely like a bumbleby stan to tell me what about bumbleby they like. the only thing i like about them is complimentary colors and thats simply NOT enough for me. i feel like a lot of bumbleby stans is just sunk cost fallacy because it took TEN FUCKING YEARS for two girls to kiss on screen.

because really??? a LOT of the stuff that "sets bmblb up" is a LOT of fan conjecture. shit about their eye colors matching each others auras and shit? thats all fan theory DESPITE the fact that colors ARE important in this world and color matching could have been set up!

the problems i have with bumbleby are NUMEROUS and all factually supported by the show; neither were present for the main bulk of each others arc, with the exception of yang helping kill adam there at the end, which completely ended all of blakes contributions to the story at large. she ceased to give a shit about faunus rights or combating the schnee legacy despite being in mantle/atlas, despite SITTING IN THE SCHNEE MANOR, until vol9 when suddenly shes been suffering under the weight of being a bridge between humans and faunus ?? ok. and blake wasnt present for ANY of yangs arc, her recovery or meeting her mother, or confronting her to get the lamp.

"oh" i hear you say "but their arcs extend all the way back to volumes two and three! remember those bumbleby scenes??" you mean the one where yang was explicitly racist to blake, and then shoved her, a visibly exhausted minority, into a desk and said "you couldnt even stop me" before hugging her, a pretty explicit lovebomb move? or do you mean the part where blake explicitly compared yang to adam, her violently abusive ex, and asked yang to apologize or deny it and instead yang doubled-down and didnt apologize? we can keep going back to when yang (and the other girls) happily massacred a train full of faunus minorities that were being taken advantage of by a human, and how none of them has ever had to grapple with that

also, as much as i like the color symbolism, i just cant move past how blake is just like raven; dark hair, big eyes, stealthy ninja type fighting (at least originally), a self described coward who runs and runs-- and how yang is just like adam; prone to violence, prone to showboating, similar semblances, both disabled at the hands of monsters. blake and yang are so representative of the worst parts of each others lives and its too much!

theres not enough "good" about bumbleby to justify the amount of time it took to be canon, not to mention the suspicious timing of it; you mean to tell me that in the volume of reactionary content, after the company just spent two years getting lambasted for being violently homophobic and racist and generally problematic that NOW is suddenly the moment theyve been planning towards for ten years? okay eat my ass lol

[bpdfox]

Vent/thought dump I wrote a month ago. It's long and disjointed and I was also high when I wrote it. Figured I'd put it here, this is sorta where my head has been lately.

Am I nothing more than a mirror??

I don't know how to even get my thoughts out. I'm so… isolated.

I've felt a profound sense of isolation and separateness since I was born. Like literally.

Sitting there picking holes in my leg, pulling the hairs out so I know I can feel.

I can only think clearly when I'm tearing myself apart.

HOW CAN I GET WHATS INSIDE OF MY HEAD OUT?

Even today during therapy my therapist just sort of

I NEED TO BE SEEN.

She just sort of like. Had a lot of stuff she needed to process with all of the church shit and all of the fucking bullshit going on with that

I'm not worth it unless I can provide a service to someone else

I cannot connect

I don’t know if I'm capable of connecting and that scares me. That terrifies me. I can't imagine going the rest of my life feeling this way. I don't think I can. I can't.

I feel so small when I'm on these, everything is tall and towering above me

I feel inferior, threatened, judged when I'm around my younger brother. Even he is rejecting me? I've been asking him to play some games with me for weeks and he wont and I feel so fucking stupid trying to

Its' like im a kid trying to tell my dad that my goat is dying in the shed but he's too busy working

I CANNOT CONNECT

When my aunt was trying to use her fucking 'healing' bullshit on me and she was sitting there holding my arms and telling me what she thought was going on in my brain, that I was having such a hard time, blah blah. She was telling me exactly what was going on in her brain. She was using me as a reflection.

I'm' not your fukcing passion project

People only come to me when they need something from me

I'm a project, a side project, a 'once-in-a-while' hobby that maybe they’ll return to when they get bored

I'm so alone. I'm always alone.

I've felt this way since I was a kid

Even in my old friend gorups I was always the odd one out, people would cycle through me and talk to me if they

I AM NOT ENOUGH

IM NOT WORTHY OF CONNECTING WITH

I AM NOT WORTH CONNECTING TO

WHY

I was ripped out of my mother's womb and isolating was the only way I survived

I had to be in a stupid fucking box, incubating me, with the stupid fucking earmuffs that made everything louder, and I WAS ALONE

I WAS ALONE

I WAS ALONE

My mom is only talking to me about my brother

My brother is a fucking homophobic asshole and it makes me so sad and scared and upset and mad that my mom wants him to feel supported

I'm leaving my feet behind always, I'm forgetting them

My legs don't feel like a part of me, I don't feel like a part of my body. Is this what people mean by out of body experience

Even my therapist

Idont thinki can fucking do this

Im a leech, im a leech im a leech im a leech im a leech and im alone

And that's how I'll always be

My brother is going to his fucking stupid homophobic transphobic stupid fucking religious cunt ass fucking school and

I HOPE OAKS DIES, I REALLY DO. I REALLY FUCKING DO

I HOPE HE CHOKES ON A FUCKING FORK, I HOPE IT GETS WEDGED IN HIS FUCKING ESOPHAGUS AND HE ASPHIXIATES ON HIS OWN FUCKING BLOOD

I'm not worth connecting to

I cant get anything out and that scares me so bad

Because nobody understands unless I can get it out but I fucking cant I fucking cant

All I am is disgusting, gross, unloved

I'm only loved if I meet the conditions, if I meet the criteria. I can't do taxidermy in the barn but my brother can tan a rabbit hide inside the house?

I'm a hazard an inconvenience. I didn’t want to eat what the rest of the family wanted but that didn't matter. I'm a scavenger, I have to pick from what's left and hope I can make it through the night.

I'm disgusting I have mental fleas I'm always itchy and crawling and I can never fucking get comfortable, never get comfortable, I'm so tense all the time, I cant get to sleep because I cant get comfortable, I'm not meant to be in my fucking body

I think everyone can see it and that's

All I am is a hole

Is this all there is?

I noticed a new spot on my scalp, scab scab scab. Ipicked it. Why do I evne bother trying to not pick. Who am I fucking doing it for.

Im so fucking alone. I think im fucking cursed like genuinely. I cannot fucking connect. No matter how hard I try. And so I isolate and I sabotage myself

I'm fucking disgusting im not worth taking care of im not wroth anything. Im not worth anything. Im not worth anything. I'm a leech im a leech im a leech I'm a scab I'm a fucking useless piece of shit. EVERYONE CAN FUCKING SEE IT. EVERYONE CAN FUCKING SEE IT. And that's why im alone and that’s why that willn ever fukcing change

I try to show my photography and I just get a

Its no wonder I started fukcing drinking I cannot handle it. I cant handle it.

I have been drowning and alone since I was born at 28 weeks old. And nobody fucking cares. And nobody fucking sees. All I am is a mirror.

I don’t have a fucking personality I just cling to whoever I hope will give me approval and I don’t even pay attention to whether I'm liking whatever the fuck it is, all that matters is that they're having a good time

I can't keep doing this but I don’t think I can stop. I was programmed this way and this is all I know how to do and it's going to fucking kill me. It is going to fucking kill me.

I'm running myslef over again and again I'm the coyote that wasn't fast enough and I'm the car that didn't stop. I'm the road that wasn't takencare of and the guts that spilled across it and the dying breath of the animail terrified alone and that's all that I will ever fucking be. Only here for the bugs. I'm carrion. I'm already dead and im wasting away and everybody can see it and nobody will ever love me because once they see past the mirror all that's left is the fucking pit. The hole the empty the nothing.

I have to be funny because then maybe if im lucky they’ll want to stick around but I don’t thinkanybody really does. I'm always terrified that they will leave. They are going to leave me when they realize how useless you are.

Myeyes hurt.

I havent cried like that in so long. It gets stuck inside me and it's like congested. I'm congested and I cant get anything out and im ALONE AND NOBODY CARES AND NOBODY SEES

I CANT FUCKING DO THIS. I CANT FUCKING DO THIS.

IF I DON’T G

I CANT DO THIS

I AM

It's all loss IT'S ALL LOSS. ALWAYS. REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION

I CANNOT

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ON HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP GOING LIKE THIS.

MY BROTHER HAS FRIENDS MY SISTER HAS FRIENDS

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME??

I'M ROTTING. I'M NOTHING. I'M WASTING AWAY HERE AND IM USELESS.

I cannot

I'm really struglging with how alone I am. How alone I am. How alone I am

Christ.

Something broke insidwe of me but theres nbody there to witness it

Ive been out to them for ten fucking years. And they still misgender me. They don’t bother to get it right. I don’t know if my sister's husband even knows im nonbinary

I'm not fucking worth the effort. Im not worth the effort. WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN TRYING

I'm howling alone and im hoping to hear a response but it's only mirrored

Nobody will ever respond

And even if they did I don’t know if it could reach me truly. Im in a fucking bubble. Im a specimen under glass for inspection and reflection and to look at when things get boring but I always endup back on the shelf.

Went through everyone in thefamily except for me . Left me out of the speech.

All im good for is to consume

I can only think clearly when I'm hurting myself

Picking myself apart

I'm going to be alone. Christ im going to be alone.

I don’t understand it and im struglging to keep up

I can feel myself closing up again. Goodbye.

The doors are closing again.