#its so funny what is this cult bf

[impregnatedafterpostbirthdaysex]

I know most garth fans do not like garth's character currently but reading titans (2023) #4 with no context and learning garth's in a cult and cult leader is weird about him + titans acting like friends when ur bestie has a toxic bf is so so funny

[thesimulacrasimp]

Okay, I literally just watched a spooky month short and i wanna kinda break it down a lil bit, cuz we learned ALOT through it. Again, sorry for my terrible english 😭🙏

Okay so in this shot we see Kevins parents (rlly cute) and we see "Rad's bday" on calendar (which is apparently in september, knowing that Kevin started working in candy club in the same month), that means that he knew Radford for a long time, even before he started working in candy club.

Okay, thats really funny, but when Skid and Pump appeared in this short with different masks i was like: "YOOO they finally revealed their hair styles. Wow these fan predictions were really close!" until i remembered that their hair styles were already revealed a long time ago in the house pictures.....

Okay so through Pump we now know that Skids father is dead. Not missing, not left - dead. <= another question that have been answered.

Lila looks so tired, poor soul (SHE EVEN WALKING IN THE STREETS IN SLIPPERS 😭)

Ok, now its my fav part. We saw all the moments w Skid and Pump in candy club. First part of it were just the moments that we have already seen or that have been mentioned (like when Skid n Pump got alot of fake blood in the place), there were also some others moments weve never seen, but i dont think theyre really important since they all happened before even eps 4 and 5, so i dont think i need to break them down (especially because of this stupid fuCKING PICTURE LIMIT—) BUT! The things i WANT TO talk about are all the things that happened after ep 6 - the things we still havent got to. And if its actually the foreshadowing (is that the right word for that?...) for what will happen in the future eps then its kinda a dissapointing cuz we got spoiled, and FUCKING AMAZING at the same time, like I have VERY mixed feelings about this, but i more like it than hate it tbh. SO im gonna break these things down like they are actual spoilers for future episodes, but that can be not true, who knows.

Okay, the first thing we see after ep 6 is another winter situation (the hole from Moloch is still there 😭) w hatzgang, Skid n Pump, and Susie, while the whole place was acreeting w some weird roots w eyes?? Then i suppose Roy was tormenting the poor kids as always, and Susie got mad at him and left, and then Rob and Ross did the same thing while Roy looked offended n pissed (which i cant show you becuz of a FUCKING LIMIT—)

Then, Lila, Jaune, John and Jack came to the candy club. I cant really tell what couldve happened, but Lila n Jaune looked really mad, and then STARTED ARGUE FOR SOME REASON, like I literally have no idea what couldve happened, it could be anything.

Then there was a literal fnf scene, like an actual rap battle between the spooky bois and bf (which i also cant show you, CAN U GUESS WHY?? :) ). I honestly think that this is a simple joke and nothing more, but who knows, maybe it will actually happen in spooky month, that would be pretty cool.

Okay, then the Spider. Like, we already all knew that its gonna be an episode vilian at some point, so its not really surprising honestly. Really curious how its gonna be portrated tho, like what is it gonna do, what its motives and goals are gonna be, what characterization are a LITERAL SPIDER gonna get - its all really interesting.

Then a cult. Also not really surprising tbh, like I think it was obvious that they were gonna get to Kev at some point, interesting why tho. Like how could he be useful or harmful for them? (interesting detail is that after a scene w the cultists Kevin still stayed in the club, so the cult tried to get him but failed? I wonder why and how.)

Okay... MOTHER. FUCKING. SKID'S DAD. HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM. If we look at the shot it seems like Skid came here to introduce Kevin to his dad (cute)

And then i suppose Dad got a candy bar for Skid and they both left. Really curious how is Skids dad gonna introduce himself to his son, how Skid is gonna react (well even by these 2 shots we can see that he is really happy, but im more curious about the first reactions, im in for some wholesome fluff please!!!). And Lilas reaction is also reaaaaaally interesting (if she will even know)

And the last shot is this. I also dont think it really means anything (maybe foreshadowing that Kev is gonna die??), the only thing that intrigues me is this sky, like I dont even know what it looks like, some sort of black hole? A fissure? Some ultimate evil that comes from another world? A 4th wall break?? Who fucking knows. But it does look interesting.

And soooo ummmmm idk what else to write, I think i already said everything i wanted to say so.. Bye? Tnx 4 reading?? Ig???

[not-goldy]

Funny seeing the cult cocky on twitter about Tk outings in 2023, cause they never had any before. Celebrating tk riding together one time to Suga's concert, when this is shit Jikook done for years. Outings alone, with friends & riding together for years. That grumpy tkk, saying Tae looks like an idiot, asshole, rude & disrespectful cause of hybe, jimin & Jennie. bitch just say you want to trash Tae in public cause you're so mad he didn't follow your rules. Same way they set JK up & make him look like a dick to Jimin, when Jk supported Jimin more then any member during their solo work. Any excuse to drag Jk cause he's not giving them what they want.

Do tkk realize after the maknae beach outing in LA, that they claim was a private date, even though Jimin was there, that a week later is when Tae followed his GF Jennie on IG? Who gonna tell Tkk Tae was dating Jennie when they were doing the LA concert & Tae confirmed it when he got IG and followed his GF on instinct & backtracked. Pics of him outside her house & with her friend group days after LA dating back to mid 2021, even before BTS went to NY 7 Atomix & posts from Taennie shippers already suspecting they were together before he even followed Jennie. We are talking 2021. Tae followed Jennie in Dec 2021 & was holding her hand in Paris in 2023. Everything they saw Tk do between Dec 2021 & 2023 Tae was dating someone else & committed. So who is doing fanservice? Using Their TK advent Calander they made of them hanging out in 2023 as romantic proof, dismissing them being with friends. The ski trip, the premiere outing, every outing TK had in 2023, them riding together to Suga's concert, Tae was in a relationship with Jennie. All that on stage stuff at the concerts between TK, yep Tae was dating Jennie. At this point they are calling Tae a cheater & Jk a homewrecker by insisting the things TK was doing was romantic. They'd rather paint Tae as a horrible BF to Jennie and JK as a relationship wrecker, then admit Tk are friends & they are wrong. All those vacations Tae took with Jennie, they pretend didn't happen. NY, Jeju, Paris. Jennie there with Tae the day he was getting ready for his first trip to Paris, standing there in the flesh with him in a video, while he gets his hair done. Hell he was with Jennie in Jeju days after the festa dinner as well, where they said it was unscripted & TK showing they were BF's. The Taennie timeline stretches a long way. This wasn't a fling. Tae clearly cared about her. Enough to confirm the rumors & leaks with her, by doing what he did with her in paris & tkk disrespected his relationship every step of the way & still do. And why? Cause they want to "win" and want Jkk to lose? Bitch this is no competition. Jikook are together now, enlisted by choice. The only winners here are Jikook. They won this IDGAF war. And you can't erase Jennie from your TK advent Calander timeline. You saw Tk outings only in 2023, when Jimin was busy working his ass off & Jennie was busy on tour, cause when Jimin & Jennie wasn't busy, you saw Tae with Jennie & Jk with jimin & TK spending no time together. Its not hard to do this math. Taennie = Your ship is not real. BTW what we did see of Jikook since y'all wanna get cocky, the private trips, silver day date, enlisting together, means more then a couple of friend outings. One half of your ship was dating someone else from 2021 - 2023. Tk have a special friendship, not a romantic relationship. One day it'll click.

They need to free Tae.

[arthurtaylorlester]

late wtnv live blog

spoilers ahead

I WANT TO BW A WTNV CHARACTER GIVE ME SO MONEY I NEED TO SUPPORT THIS PODCAST

bar jokes (GONE WRONG)

why was cecil speaking so fast

ASTRONOMY!

ASTROLOGY!

yo i love astronomy and comets

astronomers are wizards confirmed

CECIL PICK UP TGE PHONE

JOHN PETER YKNOW THE FARMER!!!!!!

why would you call cecil and not the secret police

sell ig his husband has done more for the town

wtf is shields and yarnel

SGDKSKFJ I HEARD P*RN FIELD AND HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE

cecil you're such a good journalist <3

ghost CATS!!!!

THEY WOULD BE SO GOOD

THANKS FOR SPONSORING

fireworms??? like the ones from httyd

bitch pick up the phone

John Peters yknow the farmer did you know I love you please never change

corn vandals from NYC

grab ass??????????? wjat

I can't understand his accent that well

I love people interrupting cecil

"bye john" WHERE'S THE REST OF HIM

the way he said it was funny tho

New man?!?!??!!?

why did he say the same thing as ep 1 about scientists

cecil and joseph my beloved

joseph fink in night vale is so so gender

INTERN JOSEPH FINK

WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE!!!!

WHY IS HE GPING INSANE CECIL ARE YOU OKAY

MY GIRL IS REALSING HE ISNT REAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I need the wtnv show in wtnv to be real nd I need cecil to be in it

annoyed cecil >>>>>>

murderous space kids

bloody corn reminds me suspiciously of smiling

HUNTOKAR

NO iTS THE SMILING GOD

THEYRE ALREADY OVERTAKING YGE TOWN WHAT

bajeebers is part of my vocab now

ciao

GOLDEN GLOW!?????

weather break

PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE

YES ANGRY CECIL SLAY

bitch how did you not notice no pupils

SNAKE

AGIAN

NOOOOO JOHN PETERS YKNOW THE FARMER DONT FALL INTO THE CULT OF THE SMILING GOD

yo he's a really good story teller

NOOOOO NOT THE CORN

VOODOO???

snake gods = worm thing from it devours??

are they a species? because that one died it

DONT INSULT MY BF THE MOON

YEAAAAHHH ENTROPY

gnight yall

[travel-hopefully]

A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me 

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others. 

[uncannycyke]

Okay it would be really funny if Tommy is like. Casually an enemy of the state. Like he visits krakoa to see his bf and family that lives there and will defend his mom if anyone says any shit but people are just like, “I really don’t think you should be here”. David’s team isn’t going to narc—eye boy and akihiro don’t seem like rule sticklers to me, Lorna is his aunt, speedster solidarity... Rachel voice “our moms used to date, so”.

Tommy insists he can outrun anyone trying to apprehend him. Charles walks in on him having brunch with his grandpa and asks magneto what he’s got there and magneto responds “a smoothie” as a faint “nyoom” can be heard in the distance.

It isn’t ideal but I like this a lot better than how they’re treating Wanda.

this is canon now. and it IS ideal.

its also funny if billy’s like “tommy you’re not allowed to visit krakoa they have cult rituals about mom. pick a fucking side” and hes like. “i just wanna see my boyfriend....so.” 

[savnofilter]

answering all anonymous asks

i have a lot of mixed opinions and stuff so i just compiled them into one post. the public ones i will be posting separately, simply because i feel they are different. all responses are under the cut!

tw: mentions of pedophilia and gore.

i am and thank you!! i havent really eaten since tuesday but ive trying to keep my fluids up. i hope you are doing okay as well, anon!

~ i learned about puberty when i was 6 only because my sisters had already learnt it (ages 8). the educational sites used were always catered to helping the youth learn about periods, puberty, and everything that comes along with it. once i was at age 8, i also had access to the sites as well.

~ the idea of sex was brought around to me around 8. at 9 i had an experience but i will not get into it since it’s still slightly traumatic for me. other than having a negative experience with it, i yet again already had an understanding because of my older sister’s and i’s class experiences to have a grasp of it.

i would also like to add that my parent were never prudes. bringing up this point, disclaimer that they havent done anything weird to me or my sister. once i was 11 (in 6th grade), i was learning about sex and reproduction. my mother has always told me if i had any questions about that type of stuff, that i should never be afraid to ask. 

if she felt anything was too explicit she would tell me that i didnt have to learn about that right now and that when i am older she would be receptive responding. i honestly think the hate stems from the fact that they dont get dicked down well enough from their own bfs that they have to write the pent up frustration on minor characters.

i mean with the cult running around, yes it is. if you are not in a close circle or have an established following, you will have a much harder time getting your stuff out there. its not impossible but it is much definitely more difficult to start up. 

if you need help with getting your work out there i am more than welcome in trying to help you out tho!

THANK. YOU. someone had to fucking say it, couldnt be me since they refuse to listen to me. do you know how predatory in itself trying to control what minors of the same age doing together???? the only time i can see minors getting “arrested” unless it was public indecency. also why are you an adult knowing about 14 y.os getting arrested for sexual intercourse? 🤡

it definitely is safe. the people most active are teenagers so do not feel afraid. if there are any concerns please come to me since i am the original and head of the server.

!!! exactly. her sorry ass callout post about my age and followers LOL. “sorry i have more notes than you” i- i had to laugh. i think its so funny because if this was about followers i wouldve done this earlier, not when i hit 5,000 followers. 

^ this. all it took was a gabby hannah callout post about my age cnckjsvd couldnt be me. these people preach about keeping kids safe, the kids of the fandom speak up about an abuse and toxicity problem and suddenly we’re ruining the fandom? pick one or the other pls. 🤡

i just honestly find it concerning that theyre thirsting over a character thats um.... HALF YOUR AGE. fake or not its weird asf. its really not your place to say people shouldnt be uncomfortable because you write them “aged 18+” and the most you age them up to is 18 and still write them in U.A. i dont really understand why its such a hard concept to understand.

i just think its concerning that the same people who think i have no sexual awareness have no problem writing characters my age and the only version that theyre aged up is in their fics.

theres something wrong in this equation here.... 😗

lmao these adults have no problem giving people trauma. and yes, yes, and yes. we arent saying that there is a problem aging them up, its how you do it. its really the fact that theyre aging them up and having them at the dorms and aizawa is still somehow, their homeroom teacher? please make it make sense.

if youre especially going to age up someone and youre about 22+, your excuse is that, “their fake so it shouldnt be a problem” is predatory in all the wrong kind of ways. 

^ they hate to see it. but once again they did make this an age thing,,, obviously they only learned about sex when they hit 18, and i have hacked the system and infiltrated adult territory. 🤡

right. people are like 16 y.os cant have sex -- no its in place so adults like you dont think you can fuck them any younger. thats all i have to say. but no, im fifteen, i dont have a brain or any sense of the world. no h*rny card for me.

💀 imagine being old enough to understand that stuff can be triggering and no human should even be saying that... getting those shane dawson gore fantasies here.

“no one is mad at you for writing smut. adults are mad because youre writing smut”

your adults arent mentally sound and this is why im making this post. ❤️

lmao i am okay!! ive been having phantom nerve pain where my knuckles are because of that ask though and i had a gore dream. : ) i spoke clearly and properly, when i took them as a joke (yknow being the clowns that they are), they got mad! 1/10, would not recommend a conversation! apparently shes more mature about me but her last post was about riding a teenager’s forehead cnjk vdfd COULD NOT BE ME. she choose to ignore all the other claims and it shows~ 🍵

i dont really mind, ive been wanting to talk about my age on this blog for a really long time since last but sometimes things come sooner than later. even if you dont support my work, i still thank you for supporting me as a person!

RIGHT?! im just really concerned that there are adults who understand that there are moral issues here and some dont. this is why im making a post on a select few and not the whole adult community. thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

LMFAO but they dont see it?! 😂 i think me writing about characters my own age is much better than someone who has 10+ years, or better yet, MORE THAN HALF THEIR AGE writing about them. you had your hormones suppressed, doesnt mean mine should as well. 💓

personally, if i was an adult and i made a callout post on someone’s age, i would put a disclaimer to not bully the minors in question,,, just putting out there. your mature and respectful queen is doing magic. 🥰

^ and let me make it clear, after the point of time i realized that following was 18+ blogs was bad, i stopped following them. and even now im sifting through and unfollowing all of them. yes, i do have a brain at fifteen and can think. i know its a foreign concept for some people. 😳

no no no, its okay! i lied about being an adult so this all my fault. :D just think its concerning someone so easily can say one thing and everyone can follow. real cult behaviour and shes the leader. been thinking about making a mean girls poster and sticking her pfp on regina, but even regina had redemption and realized she had work to do. : ) 

lmao these people have said, “i started reading/writing smut when i was 11-13 but i realized how wrong it was and stopped” so how does it differ from me? you dont magically get good at 18. dont be a hypocrite.

even adults themselves are afraid to speak up. all it took was a shitty post for them to ignore the whole story. these people ignore all the abuse, therapy, toxicity, pedophilia (umbrella term) and everything else that she and her friends are being brought to light about. it shows how much of a blind eye that people have.

this is not a tati situation, i will not go back on my words.

this is understandable. this is even past the age, and this me repeating myself once again. i wasnt even the one who said i was groomed i- its people who were in your, space. think about that.

it really is. and what makes it more concerning that the same people who preach this will talk about how they want to, “beat us the fuck up” or rip our fingers for showing out concern for the vagueness of aged up in fics sometimes.

i even stated that its not everyone who does this but no one will listen.

[jesslivesau]

jess au @iloveeverythingwaytoomuch

pre show jess: doesn't know anything except that sam told her some fucked up shit and she didn't really believe him much like amelia didn't believe jimmy but what's clear to her is that sam's upbringing was deeply fucked up in what might've been some kind of apocalypse doomsday cult and she can say "sam, it wasn't real" as much as she can til she's blue in the face but it isn't going to change the fact that sam is Deeply Fucked Up by Shit. and it upsets her and confuses her but he does a good job of setting it aside or knowing when to give in and he's such a sweet and Loving Dude otherwise so she just files it away in her bf trauma bank and keeps cheering him on

s1 jess: your bf's CRAZY brother shows up says he needs help finding your bf's CRAZY dad who may or may not have been part of a doomsday cult and you say, bitch i watched the heaven's gate documentary there is NO WAY i'm letting you leave with him, but he's not gonna Stay cuz he insists it's just for one night (and his brother DOES seem relatively stable, like, as a person), so jess insists she'll go too. while she's in the back seat sam tells dean he told her everything dean's like lol. sure. you believe in ghosts, sweetheart? and jess is like no but i do believe that i'll kick your ass if we don't get home in time for sam's interview tomorrow morning. and then the whole white woman thing happens and she's like oh fuck it's REAL but they DO GO HOME and instead of jess dying on the ceiling there's like idk ghost mary on the ceiling or some shit and they NARROWLY escape the fire together andddd idk they can't go back to stanford cuz it's not safe and their apartment complex literally went up in flames. there’s a more complex reason here but idk what it is. maybe it was brady (demon brady) who died or something IDK LISTEN ITS JUST AN AU

anyway all of season 1 when they’re trying to track down john jess is the voice of reason asking why do they need john in the first place? And eventually sam is like listen we don’t need HIM but if he’s got research on where yellow eyes is, that’s what we need. and dean is mad about that and he’s mad at jess and they bicker like crazy. and sam sleeps on the floor because dean is like dude cmon. don’t make me sleep in the same room as you and your gf together. maybe meg gets replaced by meg possessing jess, and she doesn’t get thrown out the window so when they exorcise her she just needs a hospital and then she’ll be ok. and that would explain why she’s in the hospital and not there for the finale, but can meet up with sam & john & dean in the hospital after

s2 jess: sam is so consumed by grief and fear that jess is actually the first one to notice that dean’s spirit might still be still Around. i’m imagining a scene where sam is asleep next to dean’s bed and jess is awake, and she slowly looks around towards dean and you see ghost!dean Connecting with her for the first time

obviously, all the grief episodes keep happening. maybe jess got seriously hurt as well tbh so she goes back to her parents house to recover; there’s an episode where the boys go meet her parents and dean and sam’s Daddy Issues come out in full force. eventually jess is back and kicking ass and slowly getting along more with dean, partially perhaps because of dean’s Grief Response to john’s death, which is that all the anger and hate comes bubbling up, and jess is like i don’t fucking know this dude, but from what sam’s told me, i hate him, which is not something that sam is in a position to Deal With right now. things proceed pretty much along the course

i am considering now if jess could also be a special child. she also has some kind of psychic abilities but i’d have to choose something cool for her. anyway if she IS then that gets her in the town with sam in all hell breaks loose which i think is the best place for her during that arc? i know all the other special children supposedly had to die but maybe her psychic power was to go inviisble or something lmfao i don’t fucking know. anyway dean has his sad monologue but jess either (a) fully shuts down or (b) just goes STRAIGHT to hunt down whatever the fuck his name is. jake? leverage man? that would be dope actually. and then actually dean, sam, bobby, and ellen actually meet her at the hell’s gate

s3 jess: truly does not understand why they’re hunting. gets into arguments with the boys all the time about how this is pointless, if you’re not gonna try and save yourself then why can’t you just put it down and let yourself have this year?? and dean’s a little bit like you know what jessica that makes a lot of damn sense. but it makes sam mad and they argue a lot about it and jess probably takes off halfway through the season. maybe after malleus maleficarum? partly cuz that’s the ep where ruby more or less becomes part of the team and also when she confirms that she can’t save dean from hell. and i just feel like jess would be like i cannot.... Sit Here.... and watch you both drive yourself into the ground. dean, if you’re gonna die, sam’s coming after you. you knew that. you just didn’t want him to go first.

maybe dean hits her lmfao and sam screams at him for it and jess just Walks Away, tearfully

s4 jess: so jess bailed midway through s3, but when dean wakes up and starts making calls in that phonebooth, he calls bobby and bobby hangs up, so he calls jess. and she comes and gets him.

jess and sam are obviously not together anymore, but jess is totally civil with sam and even with ruby. she’s like we can work together, it’s fine, whatever. and this is the season where dean and jess really bond and become a good Team. and cas is just usually confused why jess is Around but eventually gets used to her. i’ve toyed with jess being jewish which would lend a good and also funny perspective to all the heaven and hell stuff

jess heard about hell first from dean, but not the specifics of the stuff that dean told sam, not until after on the head of a pin. she’s their Lore Expert on seals and is trying to identify as many of them as possible so they can put in place safeguards, and maybe that bumps her up against angel priorities for an episode. maybe we get an episode where cas has to Threaten her 00 and he can say something like sam and dean are important..... you are not. remember that. and then [flappy wings vanish]

uhhhh jess’s siren in the siren episode....... is just like a carbon copy of sam lmfao. which is extremely funny and sam and jess will both kind of awkwardly clear their throats and not address that. i guess jess is just fucking stuck with bobby during the finale because the point of her presence is that she’s so USELESS to both demons and angels

s5 jess:  i’d probably add in an early episode where her parents are killed, probably by demons because the demons know they can’t touch the winchesters due to angel shit but they can fuck up jess as much as they want. then when sam and dean temporarily split up jess would go with dean cuz she’s a hunter now and has nowhere else to go and it doesn’t feel right to just sit around with sam. or maybe she also leaves and splits up and doesn’t stick with dean cuz she’s processing her own traumatic shit. at any rate, early in the season there’s a moment where sam is Gone and dean and jess are drinking together and talking about their feelings and they have a moment where they gaze at each other in the eyes and almost lean towards each other.... then jess goes you know what? this is fucking weird and dean is like oh thank god you said that absolutely this is too weird

in The End, it’s revealed that jess was killed and no one will tell dean more information or talk about her until he finds out that she was pregnant when she was killed (presumably with sammifer’s baby)

in changing channels they get put into a telenovela and sam and jess have an tearful emotionally charged confession scene in spanish. this is about when sam and jess finally get back together [cue cheering]

in the chuck eps it’s revealed chuck rewrote it so that jess died on the ceiling in the first book cuz he was like “i just didn’t think it made sense for her to be alive! it was literary symmetry that’s all!”

in sam, interrupted when sam is all high on meds that’s when he says lots of kooky sweet shit to jess about wanting to MARRY her and have a FAMILY together and it’s sweet and also dean throws up in his mouth a little bit having to hear it

in my bloody valentine the thing that jess is hungry for is Family but i do not know the logistics of how

in dark side of the moon jess does die with the boys but it takes a while to find her, tho they eventually do in one of sam’s favorite memories (probably from the first time they met or something). she’s like what the fuck i’m jewish

no, i have no clue how she factors into swan song. she just does, ok. lucifer can snap her neck along with bobby’s

s6 jess: she tried to check in with dean occasionally at the braedens, and actually had dinner with them once but started checking in less and less as the year went on, and it turns out she knew that sam was back and she’d been hunting with him + the campbells and a couple things

when dean finds out he is truly FURIOUS, but jess is like dean i saw you with lisa and ben! i saw you getting better! i saw you happy, i saw you ok, and hell i’ve only known you since you showed up in palo alto five years ago but it was the most at peace i’ve ever seen you, and i couldn’t take that away from you, and neither could sam.

she’s also like yes, dean, he’s different, he’s colder, it makes me sad but who was the one who put up with YOU when you were spiralling after your dad’s death? or when you were all buttoned up after you came back from hell? he did! so show him a god damn OUNCE of empathy, would you!

and when they find out he’s soulless jess is like. hm. and dean is like i TOLD you there was something wrong with him!!! and jess is like i mean.... yeah....... and maybe i didn’t really want to admit it... cuz.... the sex was So good.........

[soulless sam winks at her]

anyway, s6 happens the way it happens and that’s fine

s7: the only important thing that happens in s7 is that Season Seven, It’s Time For a Wedding! is actually about some sort of monster and the only way to kill it is to cast a spell but the spell must be cast by “two warriors joined before god” which means married and cas is awkward about it cuz he doesn’t want to Presume Anything 

and the whole episode is lots of sam and jess being like “i mean, of course, if you want to..... .like, but if you DON’T, that’s also totally fine, of course.... you know.... whatever you’re comfortable with” until finally they’re in the final battle and cas has to marry them the way barbossa does for will and elizabeth in potc and when dean is pinned against the wall by the monster he goes “DAMMIT JESS WILL YOU KISS MY BROTHER ALREADY” and then sam dips jess in a kiss and the monster is instantly obliterated [heart eyes]

i truly genuinely do not remember anything that happens in s7. anyway jess and sam are married now

s8: sam was with jess the whole year dean was in purgatory. they were struggling to get back to normal life after everything. dean is still fucking mad that sam didn’t go looking for him. i assume everything else goes pretty much according to whatever the fuck happened in s8 except jess at one point has to go to bat for benny cuz sam for some reason hates him so much

i’ve been toying with the idea of jess doing the trials not sam but i mean how can i take that away from my Boy

s9: i do not know anything that happened in this season ):

s10: see above

s11: see above

s12: now i never watched s12, but in this au there is no lucifer’s son jack. instead jess gets pregnant midway through the season; cas finds out first because he can sense it and he’s like why does it feel like there’s an extra being in the bunker, and then he spills to dean cuz he can’t keep a secret, and then dean is like “oh shit what are you gonna do” and jess is like well!!!! sam and i.... talked about this. we were.....open to the possibility. and dean is like wtf how could u possibly bring a child into this world that’s fucked up adn cas is like [wipes tear] that’s beautiful

anyway when they come back from some kind of hunt (probably something that involved claire) and sam and jess are in the bunker, sam goes “jess, seeing claire, seeing jody and the girls.... it makes me think.... i wanna have a family with you” and jess hugs him and then cas walks into the bunker with dean and is like “oh, have you told him about the baby?” and everyone SCREAMS at him

and cas uses his annual miracle allowance to just reverse time about 30 seconds so when he enters the bunker he just goes “i have nothing to say” and Fucking Leaves

the baby is born in the back of the impala in the s12 finale, on the way to the hospital. dean is devastated. he’ll have to reupholster the WHOLE THING. sam accidentally names the baby john but they don’t want to tell dean that so they decide to call him jack.

s13-15 gets to be mostly about how cute it is to have a wittle baby in the bunker. cas is the best babysitter because he loves babies and is very powerful so he can protect him. the occultum nonsense in s15 can be about finding a Safe Place for baby jack, no matter what happens to the rest of the world. sam tells jess, you go with him, you’ll be safe there. dean tells sam, you go with them, you’ll be safe there. all of that good good cute family stuff. was it the best idea to have a baby in the middle of constant apocalypses? maybe not, but like, they are ALWAYS in constant apocalypses, so at some point you just have to bite the bullet

anyway. please clap

[mats-was-here]

I can’t stop thinking about how chaotic in a really sad/funny way this is so I’m just gonna type out a whole story. HHAHAHA someone help this hyperfixation won’t stop.-

Okay so I’m guessing The Grabber decided to take them one by one so it wouldn’t cause as much a commotion with a bunch of screaming kids in the van. So eventually once Finn is the last one to get thrown in the room. It’s just utter chaos.

Griffin is crying in the corner and Bruce is attempting to console him

“I just wanna go home”

Bruce just rubs his shoulder and just repeats a mantra of “I know buddy”

Billy is PISSED, because his fucking dog just got left on the side of the road because of this mask wearing clown wannabe, and at first just assumes this dude has a weird specific bone to pick with the Denver Newsletter.

“HEY ASSHAT, IM NOT THE ONE WHO WRITES THE ACTUAL THING, I JUST DELIVER IT”

Vance is causing as much havoc as possible and then some, naturally. Kicking the cement filled walls and the steel door as hard as he can. Cussing out the grabber.

“OPEN THIS DOOR FUCKER” he whips his head to the sight of a crying Griffin and back to the closed door.

“ITS NO WONDER THIS DUDES OVER HERE CRYING, PROBABLY SAW YOUR MASK SLIP AND WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF OVER THE SIGHT OF YOUR UGLY ASS”

Robins not exactly fucking ecstatic either, especially now, since his best friend just got thrown in here with him. So you can bet your ass he’s ripping The Grabber a new one via Spanish.

As Robins helping Finn up off the ground (because obviously it’s getting kinda packed in

the basement and The Grabbers kinda just hightailing it back and forth trying to get all the kids he wants in one room while trying not to face their wrath before he has all of them)

Finn is both rightfully scared and just so fucking confused. He’s definitely comforted by Robin’s presence. Cuz at first it’s like “oh shit, I’m so dead” but then it’s like “ah nah nvm, we got a bunch of feral kids in here +my bf we good”

“What the hell is this puta doing putting us all in here huh? Is he starting a cult of middle schoolers?”

Vance eggs on Robin of course

“Probably trying to create a pathetic fake family since his wised up and ditched”

Bruce is tiredly rubbing his temples while pacing and going through different tactics in his head to calm everyone down

“And what’s with the mask?” Billy snarks.

“he’s hiding his identity so we won’t known what his face looks like” Finn answers coldly.

“He’s gonna be real unrecognizable when his face is pummeled by my motherfucking fists.”

Vance spits with pure venom.

And everyone in the room knows vividly that he can back up his trash talk.

Vance does his own copy of Bruce’s pacing with his angry steaming self while muttering with clenched hands.

-LIKE THIS DUDE IS A LIT FUSE AND THE FIRE JUST WILL NOT STOP. I WOULD NOT WANNA BE THE GRABBER.

Im totally imagining all their hectic screaming just breaks the sound barrier/proof room.

The Grabber is completely floored when he can hear them from upstairs

“GOD, I CANT WAIT FOR HIS GRAVE TO HAVE TO SAY HE WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A BUNCH OF MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.”

Just heavy manic filled Vance everyone I’m telling you.

By now Griffin and Finn can’t decide whether to be more afraid of The Grabber or Vance fucking Hopper

Bruce would want to go with a more stealth approach rather than just full on jumping their kidnapper since this mad man was completely fine with just taking them off the street. Bruce doubts they’ll be able to shock him by getting violent, and considers that The Grabber definitely has a fail safe if they do attack since they’re are more of them than him.

“We should think about this more, try to surprise him” Bruce reasons

Everyone cringes at Bruce attempting to reason with Vance. Like that tactic has ever gone over well with the Blonde.

Griffin’s already bracing himself for more yelling, while Robin, Billy and Finn back up to give the two room for whatever is about to go down.

“WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT YAMADA” his brows scrunch impossibly tight

“THIS SHITFACED FUCKASS THINKS HE CAN KIDNAP ME AND IM JUST SUPPOSED TO COMPLY?! FUCK THAT, AND FUCK HIM!”

Vance pokes a finger at Bruce’s chest with each of his last four words.

Bruce takes his hands around Vance’s hand where he’s still has his pointer finger against his chest and squeezes slightly to pass on as much understanding as he can onto the other.

“I know.” He shakily breathes out the words as they echo Bruce’s shared anger with the situation. “I know.” He says more firmly. I’m saying if we want to get out of this, we should think about forming a plan.”

He refuses to match Vance’s volume and stares right back at him which appears to anger Vance further and both cool him down.

Vance grunts snatching his hand back to his side

He huffs out a contemplative breath with closed eyes.

“What’s your idea?”..

And then they just beat his ass with all their methods combined and live happily ever after as one big family. The end, it’s canon now. I wrote way too much for this gawd damn

Imagine if all of the boys were in the basement together

It would be absolute chaos. The Grabber wouldn't stand a chance.

[rassilon-imprimatur]

A Rag and a Bone

As some of you saw, I found one of my “lost” Doctor Who holy grails, Daniel O’Mahony’s A Rag and a Bone! I’d been hunting high and low for this piece of fiction because the idea of O’Mahony writing a Sabbath-centric story was too good. There was literally no information whatsoever online as to what the story was actually about, but I love O’Mahony’s writing and the idea of him tackling Sabbath seemed like a match made in hell.

Finally getting a hold of this story, I must say that calling it “a Sabbath story by Daniel O’Mahony” is incredibly disingenuous, and while I dissect this story and share it all with you, I have to be completely honest and say that I have never been more confused at such a short piece of fiction in my life. Delighted, mind, but very confused. 

This story was published in 2003′s Myth Makers Essentials, the famous fanzine’s special 40th anniversary celebration. Myth Makers has been rather a white whale of mine, most long out of print issues holding onto other holy grails, most notably Parkin’s Saldaamir and The School of Doom. 

This story is more than a Sabbath tale, being a celebration of Doctor Who’s history, the history of the humans who keep Doctor Who going, as well as a celebration of the 2003 BBC prose continuity that, for all intents and purposes, was the Doctor Who at the time alongside Big Finish’s 1999-2003 years.

It’s also written by one of the closest things Doctor Who has ever had to Clive Barker, meaning that it’s a very disturbing celebration. 

O’Mahony introduces his story with a discussion of what he considers one of Doctor Who’s essential elements: 

In O’Mahony’s view of the series, Doctor Who is about humanity. Human history, ingenuity, sacrifice. Without humanity, Doctor Who is nothing. It’s a much more grounded view on the series, and while I’m not sure I quite agree with it, it makes literally every Doctor Who story O’Mahony has written make a lot more sense. 

I go into the story’s eccentricities and references (SO MANY REFERENCES GUYS, I’M SO HAPPY) under the cut. Reminder that a) O’Mahony, while a beautiful writer, is a very brutal one; his whole brand is painting objective horror and worldly ugliness in the richest, wine-like prose ever, and it’s definitely not for everyone, and b) this story, like Bidmead’s wonderful With All Awry, is far less literal than it is figurative. The continuity of the time is a factor in the story, but it’s rather useless to try and squeeze it in anywhere, that’s not it’s point. 

A Rag and a Bone is an author’s thesis on the spirit of Doctor Who, as well as a simultaneous criticism and celebration of its state in 2003, all the while managing to use Sabbath in the manner he was intended, rarely seen outside of Lawrence Miles’ writing. 

I’m not doing every passage of the thing, just the meatier ones. Enjoy and watch me stretch my English degree! 

(Note, the story starts in first-person from Fitz’s POV, shifts to weird surreal mix of Fitz and O’Mahony himself, back to Fitz, and then ends with third person omniscient.)

The story opens up simply enough (which, given what appears to be going on, it’s really funny to say “simply”): 

Already, this story seems to be following the beats of The Adventuress of Henrietta Street, the idea that in the universe without Time Lords, the universe is free game and humanity (led by Sabbath) needs to step up. But, it’s also a meta commentary. The passage is vague as to what’s really going on, but I think the war/looming disaster is something very specific, that I’ll touch on later. 

1) The date. Lmao. What could that possibly be a reference to?

2) Sabbath frequently had agents and allies throughout his novels, and one of these two, the Angel Maker, is actually from Lloyd Rose’s Camera Obscura. I don’t know if that gives an idea of the placement, or just further shows O’Mahony’s “I’m playing with current continuity” schtick. 

3) “Miss Kapoor went through the inevitable ritual struggle with her ideological opposite [...] We watched the catfight from the bar balcony - Bollywood Queen of Sin versus the [Angel Maker]...” Perhaps a smirking jab at the rules or sterotypes of storytelling? Set certain characters against the idealogical opposites. Anji often went toe-to-toe with the ideologies and beliefs of people in her novels, far more than Fitz or the Doctor did, so I think that’s what this is a nod to, wrapped in the story’s theme of ritual and symbolism and framed as “the Doctor’s female companion must face Sabbath’s female companion in a duel!!!!!!!” 

4) “... a dog-faced parahuman whose name I missed. He was the softest spoken of us all, fresh from the plane of the First Time War, resplendent in Gallifreyan scarlet.” This is Wardog (or a contemporary of Wardog), originally from Alan Moore’s DWM Black Sun Trilogy, portraying the First Time War. He had been recontexualized into Cold Fusion/The Infinity Doctors’ canon in Lance Parkin’s Executive Action, published in 2001′s Walking in Eternity, making him an (admittedly tangential) interesting cog in the EDA’s history and continuity. 

1) First time reading this passage, I couldn’t decide if this was purely Fitz or O’Mahony inserting himself into the narrative... and then I realized it’s both. There are two major critical takes on the companions, and this is the first: the role of the companions in the series is to give the audience someone to relate to and, in some cases, live vicariously through. Enjoying the adventure, experiencing the sights, etc. This section is both Fitz Kreiner and Daniel O’Mahony, trying to make sense of what’s going, while the story is already giving us the implications that, despite trying to create a narrative of the Doctor’s condition, he is actually not real. 

2) Marvel at Fitz dragging himself in every possible way. Maybe a reference to how the novels (since the VNAs) really hadn’t had any qualms with pushing the flaws and imperfections of their characters? O’Mahony in particular is a writer who would go into great detail about how flawed people were. 

3) “... Miss Kapoor - whose sins are much more scarlet than mine - wouldn’t stoop to.” I choose to believe this is a slight reference to how Anji was treating by some writers at the time. The EDA authors wither loved Anji, or hated and demonized her. I could be reaching with that one, but it doesn’t quite make much more sense otherwise. Maybe a reference to her earlier distrust and betrayals of the Doctor (such as in Mark Clapham’s Hope?)

1) This is why I think O’Mahony was attacking the negative handlings of Anji, because the description of her character in the first few sentences is so... good. Beautiful, caring. 

2) “The entropy rolling from the Deep...” I’m convinced that, in the end, the threat coming to destroy the universe, the stagnancy, the entropy, the “war,” is Doctor Who’s continued cancelation. Its the 40th anniversary, fourteen years since the show was cancelled, the series kept alive by a small and committed group of book readers and BF listeners (during BF’s early years). I’m adamant that the Wilderness Years produced some of the most creative and original Doctor Who ever, but it is very easy to see why people considered continuing the story a losing battle. More and more, the series slipped out of public consiousness and become more and more of an exclusive cult

3) The second critical take on companions in Doctor Who is a negative one (but one that needs to be said in some cases): in the end, they’re all interchangeable. None of their backstories or quirks matter in the end because they’re interchangeable stereotypes that need to stand their and ask the Doctor questions. What’s gorgeous about this sequence is how it tackles that idea in such a meta and independent way. Anji, realizing that she is, in fact, the latest face in a countless list, takes power from that. She reaches back to her predecessors and uses their abilities, their attributes, for her own agenda, all the while dressing as Anji Kapoor, praying to Ganesh as Anji Kapoor, being the unique and seperate entity that is Anji Kapoor. 

4) “Babewyns.” The Ma’lakh grotesques, the villains of The Adventuress of Henrietta Street and one of the major elements in Faction Paradox. 

This section operates on two levels, both fictionally and metafictionally. The idea that the Doctor is now a vacuum and Sabbath must either fix or flat-out replace him is the central conflict of their relationship and adversity throughout their novels. There’s also a pun on the EDAs’ “Earth arc” which was the start of the status quo that brought in Sabbath. But, you’ll notice, the “Earth arc” here is not The Burning... it’s An Unearthly Child. Sabbath’s (very morbid) take of what happened to the Doctor isn’t the plot of the EDAs, it’s the beginnings of Doctor Who. The Doctor became part of human consciousness in 1963!

So why is the Doctor now a puppet? A doll, an inhuman echo? Because the show is cancelled, and despite the series living on through, there’s this overwhelming feeling that maybe, just maybe, the final end is fast approaching. 

(Actually reading this theme in a story published two years before the show returned is rather nice, isn’t it?)

Sabbath’s take on this is, of course, negative and condescending, while Fitz focuses on the positivity of the Doctor. How he brings goodness and love into our lives, and that by “forgetting him,” (the show being cancelled) we’ve let horrible things into the world. That what Fitz is traveling with is the idea of the Doctor, the “totem” of what’s left, pushing through because Fitz/O’Mahony/the authors/the fans are still holding onto him. 

This section also shows how Sabbath really, in the end, cannot replace the Doctor. His best appearances outside Adventuress (Parkin’s Trading Futures and Rose’s Camera Obscura) stressed his limitedness, his flaws, his (debatable) inability to rise to the occasion. He talks to Fitz about power vacuums and the state of the universe, and then Fitz immediately confronts him with his antiquated 19th century beliefs and ideals. Lawrence Miles always claimed Sabbath was never meant to actually replace the Doctor, but several authors, including Lance Parkin, have since expressed that this was not common knowledge and that many authors fully believed Miles was trying to push Sabbath on them as “the new Doctor.” That’s what I think this is a response to (and mind, O’Mahony and Miles were colleagues and friends).

Here we see, we don’t need or want Sabbath. We just want our Doctor back. 

“Sometimes he believed that TV would save the world.” What a sad line, knowing the meaning of this story, huh? 

In the end of the story, Fitz and Anji rebuild their “Doctor-totem” from the junk of IM Foreman’s yard, literally using the ruins of the character’s humble 1963 beginnings to build the foundations. But remember, their Doctor is the Doctor of the novels. There’s more work to do to recreate their perception of him.

1) “Dawn Brigades of parahumans and the killer-cats of Gallifrey as they fought over the nature of the newborn universe.” Wardog’s Special Executive (representing the might and will of Rassilon) and the villains planned for the original story replaced by 1977′s The Invasion of Time (who I think here represent the Pythia), clashing during the universe’s minting (later known in Faction Paradox as the anchoring of the thread). This take on Gallifrey’s history (VNAs, EDAs, FP) is THE Gallifrey at the time of 2003. 

2) “Their tales would be told by the Needlefolk at the End of Time...” The Needle, seen in The Infinity Doctors, Unnatural History, Father Time, Miranda, and alluded to or contextual related to in Hope and The Gallifrey Chronicles. An important aspect of the lore at the time!

3) This ending is so beautiful, if sad. Here is where Fitz and Anji fully represent the Doctor Who fans and creators at the time. Using their stories, their (new) adventures to further coax their Doctor back to life. He’s built from the junk and refuse of the dead Classic series, he’s lavished with the stories and lore of the Wilderness Years. He is part of humanity, he’s in us, as long as he as friends (the fans) trying to keep him alive.  

[king-ishima]

name: Stephanie nickname: Steph / Stefi / Stefu (mostly the BF’s nickname for me XD) zodiac sign: Virgo height: 5′7″ orientation: Heterosexual/Bicurious? ethnicity: So pale even white people don’t know what I am. favorite fruit: Apples favorite season: Autumn (Fall) favorite books: Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Tokyo Ghoul, Blue Exorcist favorite flower: Lily’s and roses favorite scent: Freshly baked bread favorite animal: Foxes coffee, tea, or hot cocoa? TEA ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOREVER! average hours of sleep: Sometimes like...10 hrs, other times like....2? XD cats or dogs? DOGS! DOGSSOGSDOGS. dog. favorite fictional character: Atm, Ayato Kirishima. Changes every now and then. dream trip: Anywhere from here XD when was your blog created? Uhhh... summer time 2015 I believe. what do you post about: RolePlay 90% of the time, ooc rants/funnies and the rare pic. do you get asks on a regular basis? Sadly not on a large basis. Maybe once or twice a month unless its a meme everyone wants in on aesthetic: I dunn? Dont really bother with that favorite band/artist? I’m into so many I can’t have a favourite XD fictional characters i’d date: Ayato...from :re of course so he’s an adult XD hogwarts house: Ravenclaw! Best house.

countries i’ve lived in: Only South Wales. Different parts of South Wales but...yeah favorite fandom: Tokyo Ghoul definitely. Other fandoms can be so elitist languages you speak: English and bits and pieces of Welsh favorite film of 2016: Oh Christ uuuuh...I love Split, Moana, Deadpool and Zootopia equally XD big movie person last article you read: How the Council can take your dog away and how to fight it...because Im at war with my neighbour and my dog doesnt deserve to be rehomed because of it shuffle your music library and put your first three songs here: Ten Tonne Skeleton by Royal Blood, 10 Seconds From Panic by Cult To Follow, Kill Anyone by Plan Three last thing you bought online: Poster frame to hang on my wall how would your enemies describe you? psychotic (because I stand up for myself), a thief (only things I steal are memes XD) and all names under the sun really XD who would you take a bullet for? My boyfriend and my dog. No hestitation.

tagged by: No one XD tagging: ALL TEH LADZ!!

[luciaphototography]

JUNO CALYPSO

Juno Calypso interviewed by Joanna Cresswell, 4 October 2016

“I’ve always liked to work with things that people sneer at,” 27-year-old artist Juno Calypso says, when trying to define the inspiration behind her photographs. “Anything that people considered tacky, low-brow, or that makes people say ‘women are so stupid for liking this’ – that’s exactly the stuff I want more of.”

It’s been one year since London-born Calypso set off on her first solo journey to a couples-only love hotel in rural Pennsylvania to create images for her series The Honeymoon. Posing as an aspiring travel writer, Calypso gained access to different suites in the resort and once inside, she spent the week dressing up in wigs and wedding lingerie and taking self-portraits. Slathering herself in green clay, adorning her face with anti-ageing contraptions and draping herself across heart-shaped bathtubs surrounded by mirrors, Calypso performed scenes of preparation and anticipation, acting out familiar rituals of beauty and seduction to an absurd degree.

In these images, Calypso created a fictional character named Joyce. With a wry wit, Calypso offered Joyce as a woman disenchanted by the “laboured construct of femininity”, mechanically testing out beauty treatments and body improvement devices, and consumed by the perpetual pursuit of perfection. Joyce was often seen gazing, seemingly exhausted, into the camera or at her own reflection. Calypso amassed a substantial cult following for this ongoing series of pastel pink-hued images.

In more recent images, the character that she portrays has an air of defiance, and now appears to be revelling in the construction of femininity where once she was weighed down. “I realised that I want people to laugh along with the character, like she’s in on the joke”, she explains. “Yes, the rituals we invest in as women can be bizarre, but that’s not really the problem. The real problem is the way women are considered moronic for wanting to indulge in those things. Stop patronising us. We know what we’re doing.”

Calypso has decided that she doesn’t necessarily want people to see Joyce when they look at her photographs anymore, but rather a more abstract figure. Armed with this sentiment, she has just returned from a second trip to Pennsylvania where she stayed at a new honeymoon resort. This time, she explains, it was much less about the ego of a character and much more about the way the body appears in relation to its surroundings. The promise of rooms designed only for gazing at one another, covered in mirrors and bathed in blue and pink light, is what drew her back. Everything else was improvisation.

Here, she invites Refinery29 to take the first look at her new work.

“Last year, when people asked what was next for me, I threatened that I’d go on a one-woman tour of honeymoon hotels around the world. Turns out there was something in that because recently I felt pulled back to the area of Pennsylvania I had visited the first time round. I knew that the hotel I stayed in had another branch a few hours away and so off I went. I wasn’t done with these places. This time I only packed cheap wedding lingerie, wigs and some electronic beauty masks. I tried to keep it minimal. It was all about the rooms this time. When I arrived it was the same thing all over again: nobody questioned the amount of excess baggage or the fact that I didn’t leave my room for three days straight. I was left to my own devices.”

“There was this one room with an indoor pool that really made me want to go there. Everything I loved about the pink honeymoon suite from my original trip was replicated in blue, but with even more mezzanines and glass ceilings. Being in the pool, bathed in low, blue light felt hallucinatory, and in some ways, sad – the perfect stage for my pictures. You could just tell that every room in the resort had been dreamed up in the head of one guy. There were no windows, just mirrors everywhere. Every part of the room was designed solely for looking at your lover, or at yourself.”

“I don’t have a studio, I always work on location – I like to search out private spaces that are made for indulging in fantasy and seduction. I began taking pictures in bedrooms and bathrooms, but as my work has grown, what better place than the honeymoon suite, where the archetypal rituals of the wedding night take place? My process is a bit like making a low-budget film, except it’s a one-person operation. Sometimes I’m the tyrannical director who wont let anybody stop working, and sometimes I’m the wayward actor who won’t get out of bed.”

“All of my work essentially boils down to two things: desire and disappointment. And I like to find humour in the path from one to the other. There’s a certain level of irony in all of my images.”

“All of my work essentially boils down to two things: desire and disappointment. And I like to find humour in the path from one to the other. There’s a certain level of irony in all of my images. An important lesson I’ve learnt along the way is that humour is a powerful tool for women.

"The honeymoon hotel is a space charged with anticipation, and desire. I like to put my character through the rituals that would otherwise play out in these spaces with two people – the preparation, and then watch as disappointment unfolds. Solitude and loneliness are big themes. I’ll only ever appear alone."

“We’ve always been inclined to ‘dress up’ haven’t we? Since being little. I still like to do that, lots of us do. As RuPaul said, ‘you’re born naked, and the rest is drag’. I’ve always said that I use my work to explore the private underlife of a woman consumed by the laboured construct of femininity. And I do this because it’s a theme that I can relate to very well. It’s half autobiography and half nonsensical fantasy. Because of the kind of work I make, I always get male critics asking, ‘but can you really call yourself a feminist when you pose like that?’ Of course the answer is yes. It’s like there are certain conditions that you need to check off in order to prove you are one of the ‘good feminists’. I hate it when the privileged tell the oppressed how to protest."

“My generation came of age at the same time as digital photography, the internet and the selfie. It was an awkward time to be alive. There are a lot of female photographers publishing self-portraits alongside their photographs of female friends and models, which I think is wonderful. I just feel separated from that world because I exclusively photograph myself. It can feel very limiting at times, but morally, I feel very comfortable. I’m too neurotic to take on the responsibility of photographing someone else. The only person I’m exploiting is myself.”

"I’m too nervous to watch horror films and I’ve never gone deep into sci-fi, but I love the aesthetic of both so I skip and pause and try to absorb what I can. It’s funny these days that you can be a film expert without having watched anything. All you need is YouTube and Google Image search. The other day this guy said to me 'I like your work. It really reminds me of David Lynch'. I thanked him and told him that I’d only ever seen Blue Velvet. When I asked what he would recommend he told me, 'I don’t know, I’ve never actually seen anything he's done.'

"My favourite films are psychological horrors with a clean aesthetic like The Skin I Live In, Space Odysseyand Beyond The Black Rainbow. I reckon The Fifth Element also had a huge influence on me when I was younger. I thought a lot about that white bandage outfit Milla Jovovich wore when I was choosing costumes for these new images."

“If I’m in need of inspiration for new images, I’ll go on eBay. My key search words are ‘sexy’ and ‘pink’ and ‘mask’. I’ll start in the hair and beauty section and then move onto electronics, followed by a long browse in the wedding department. There are so many more trips I want to take. My location wish list is so long now that I’ve been considering setting up a fake online holiday agency called Joyce’s Choices.

"All of my best photographs are born from my worst ideas. If I try to be too serious the work becomes dull. When I’m setting up a photograph I’m usually thinking, ‘this is so bad’, but in the words of John Waters: 'Have faith in your own bad taste.' Show your dedication to the cause, whatever that may be. Yes, I find my own work tacky to look at, at times but I like that. I listen to Céline Dion, I watch reality TV, I have notifications on my phone reminding me to watch make-up videos on YouTube and all of that feeds into what I’m doing. There are no guilty pleasures.

AMERICAN SUBURBX

Five Uneasy Pieces: An Interview with Juno Calypso, March 18 2016

“I would consider it a personal investigation of the self, but my self is a feminine-feminist. So it also becomes political, but I wouldn’t say I’m pandering – certainly not self consciously and even more certainly not unknowingly.”

BF: Within the theatricality of your images, you seem to be hinting at a considered perception of the feminine conditioned to that of a ponderance of abjection…a horror within…or a horror from a separate vantage point. I struggle to have a discourse on the politics of contemporary feminism due largely to its current faddism and constructs of bandwagon sloganeering, not because I take issue with the importance of its measure. Would you consider your work a personal investigation of self or are you pandering to the potential of contemporary feminism? Is the self exposed personalized or politicized?

JC: I would consider it a personal investigation of the self, but my self is a feminine-feminist. So it also becomes political, but I wouldn’t say I’m pandering – certainly not self consciously and even more certainly not unknowingly. Feminism was never a topic I chose to exploit. My mum raised me with a brutal education on women’s issues, but social media didn’t really exist then. There was no so called bandwagon for me to jump on. It took me years to convince some of my close friends that women’s issues were relevant. So even with the slogans and fads, I’m glad that young women are talking about it. I don’t feel I am exposing my physical self by appearing in my photographs. It doesn’t feel like me anymore. I cringe every time click-bait articles claim my work is “blowing away perceptions of beauty”. What does that even mean? I use my body, but it’s the emotional self I’m focused on. I like making work where you can see the subject frozen in thought, you can hear them slowly dying inside.

Horror is something I’ve always loved. That was a topic I exploited thinking it would make me cool. The art I made when I was a teenager was so kitsch – everything had to be about sex or blood. I tried reading Powers of Horror to justify what I was doing but I couldn’t understand it. It was only when I got to university that my teachers all told me that what I was doing was obvious, and I realised they were right. So I re-read Powers of Horror and shifted my focus from the external horror, to the horror within. I discovered the powers of subtlety.

“The critique of repressive practices on the female body has not to my mind been exhausted by contemporary culture.”

BF: Why is “Joyce” a stand-in? Tell me a bit about the performance measure of your work…why do you employ yourself and not others for the project? Is it the ritual of work or the interest of diaristic importance in a fictionalized setting that gives you a control measure to center yourself within?

JC: I described her as a stand-in when that was the literal function. There was no mention of ‘Joyce’ then, it was just me trying out ideas for photographs that I wanted to do eventually try with other people. I didn’t think I was interestingenough to be the subject of my photographs. Now I work exclusively in this way because it suits me so well. I never felt comfortable taking pictures of other people. I’d get distracted and the images wouldn’t turn out the way I’d planned because I was too busy keeping them entertained. Iwasn’t confident in telling other people exactly what to do. When I’m alone I can beat myself up for hours until the work is done. Most of the time I don’t know what I want to do, I have to test things out until I get there. Being alone allows me to take my time. I was always so jealous of musicians and writers being self-sufficient in their practice. I wanted to have that life. I didn’t choose to use myself because I felt it was important to document my life. That’s a bonus. I chose to work alone because I like my own company and I’m always there. I don’t have to rely on anyone else to get work done.

BF: “The First Night”…the color blue…explain your choice of color if its worth mentioning. I can see cinematic and art historical contextualization within from Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” to transgressive Asian horror cinema, notable abstract anonymity of the hair and veil draping the female figure in an interior and familiar home environment. Do you draw inspiration for your tableau from cinema or art historical iconography?

JC: From both. Growing up I was taken to an Italian catholic church in London every Sunday but I couldn’t speak Italian, so iconography has been laser cut into my head. When I was a teenager I was obsessed with Battle Royale and the Korean psychological horror, ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’. This was around the same time I discovered Caravaggio and Goya. I googled ‘Picasso’s blue period’ a lot recently when I didn’t know what to do next with my work. Before I went to the Honeymoon Hotel I thought I’d had my time with pink so moved onto blue. Going to the Honeymoon Suite made me realise I will never be done with the colour pink. So now I alternate between the two. When I’m working on location I’ll allocate half my time to creating preconceived images, and the rest taking pictures of whatever. ‘The First Night’ was one of those whatever images. I had a bridal veil and an LED light, and that was the result. I placed the light behind me and saturated the blue in post-production. It was actually taken on a sunny day with the curtains closed.

BF: “wrinkle mask, baby oil, a tin of cold meat have become joyless and repressive”-Juno Calypso. Was it ever any different? When did the construct of consumerist intervention on the female body become a catalyst for your work? Was there a specific moment when these products equated to your own personal oppression?

JC: Yeah a tin of meat really pissed me off once and I had to do something about it. Nah, to be honest – that was actually one of the first things someone wrote about my work and I liked it so I took it. It’s true though, they’re all things that at one point in time were marketed as being nutritious or life-changing. When in reality they don’t work. I’m interested in moments of disappointment.

The critique of repressive practices on the female body has not to my mind been exhausted by contemporary culture. I became very interested in the consumerist intervention on the female body when I read ‘The Beauty Myth’ by Naomi Wolf. Hardly any of the products that appear in my images are souvenirs from my real life. I’ve tried making images more in touch with my own reality, but I prefer fantasy. An electronic wrinkle mask is more interesting to look at than a strip of wax.

“I feel like this question is saying ‘can you still be a feminist when your camera is aiming at your ass?” If so, my answer is yes.”

BF: “A Dream in Green”- The engendered use of color in opposition to blue-pink. The angle of the shot…the mirrors…if I were to speculate about the idealized nude…Botticelli’s Venus (you can’t help but notice the correlation)…do the matters of feminist diatribes become difficult under the totality of self-representation in an image like a dream in green? If so, how would you combat the display of desire aimed at the viewer from the camera’s position from that of the desire of self within an autodidactic methodology of display? Do you feel the image is eroticized and if so…to whose advantage or disadvantage?

JC: I feel like this question is saying ‘can you still be a feminist when your camera is aiming at your ass?” If so, my answer is yes. Does it become difficult? Surprisingly it hasn’t. I know you don’t like slogan feminists but I can’t tell you how relieved I am that someone has given ‘slut-shaming’ a name. When I was at secondary school, if I’d even draw parts of my body for an art project I’d be scolded for being ‘too revealing’. And that was in 2005. It’s such a useless way to treat women.

A Dream In Green is definitely eroticised. Too whose advantage or disadvantage? I don’t know yet. I don’t think I am creating a disadvantage for myself, or to the women’s movement by making this work. The green skin has helped communicate the context I’m working in. Not that it should be any different, but with that in place people understand my images as a type of science-fiction, and I like that. I like the way science fiction has it’s political undertones but ultimately it is a fantasy. I also get a lot of messages from Star Trek fans now.

BF: Your work points towards moving image. Is this a medium you could see yourself working in.

JC: Definitely. I always use a video camera when shooting to help me test poses and so I’ve managed to create a few video pieces out of that footage. The style is very rough at the moment. I’ve worked on film sets and what I’m doing is the most DIY bootleg version of a serious film production. Filmmaking requires team work and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, but making mistakes when I’m alone is the foundation of my practice, so I think I’ll stick with it a bit longer.

DAZED & CONFUSED

“Calypso has created a bizarre world for her alter-ego Joyce: a woman of indefinable age seemingly teetering on the brink of either a nervous breakdown, or death by indifference”

'Using pastel-hued rooms filled with tacky decorations and edible props, London-born photographer Juno Calypso has created a bizarre world for her alter-ego Joyce: a woman of indefinable age seemingly teetering on the brink of either a nervous breakdown, or death by indifference. Surrounded by cream cakes, fluffy fabrics and unearthed 80s beauty products, Joyce stares emptily back from behind her office desk, her deadpan mien and glazed-over eyes reflecting a deeper exhaustion with unrealistic ideals of femininity and beauty. Juno brilliantly balances comedy and melancholy, capturing herself as Joyce using both analogue photography and digital video, always with a glossy finish that works as an ironic contrast to her character's expressionless face and ultimately mundane environments. Since graduating from the London College of Communication in 2012, the 23-year old has exhibited her work at the Simon Oldfield Gallery in London, and is now one of 12 final nominees for this year’s Catlin Prize. Ahead of the exhibition opening at the Londonnewcastle Projectspace on May 2, Juno previewed three new images and talked to us about tragic comedy, guilty pleasures and how close Joyce really is to that breakdown.'

HOTSHOE

'With the plethora of artists who have used perforative methods to explore notions of femininity, it would be comparatively easy to reel off a list of references that could be seen to permeate the work of this year's winner of the LCC Hotshoe Portfolio Award. However, rather than being preoccupied with representations of femininity in its finalized form, Juno Calypso's work holds its focus upon its laboured production, through her imagined character - Joyce.

“The rigmarole of beautification is carried out to the point of ritualised absurdity”

In a series of elaborately staged video pieces and large format, pastel-coloured photographs, Calypso explores the manufacture of femininity and seduction. The rigmarole of beautification is carried out to the point of ritualised absurdity, through which her perforative alter ego is reduced to, or perhaps heightened from a young woman to a vacant, sneering Spitting Image character.

The scale of production in itself echoes the ethos of the project; each of the videos allows us a glimpse at a different stage in the creation of Joyce. Within the first of the two films, Empty Pleasures, we see Joyce rocking disinterestedly back and forth on an exercise ball, and emptying a can of hydrating water spray on her face, as if trapped in a never ending, Energizer Bunny-like cycle. She appears expressionless, vapid, as she transcends her body towards her fantasised "better self".

The Second film takes the beautiful strangeness of the project a step further with an infomercial for a plastic anti-wrinkle mask, in which we are shown how to properly administer The Linda Evans Rejuvenique Facial Toning System by (silk clad) women who appear to be enraptured by the product, in what Calypso refers to as "the pre-orgasmic, masturbatory performance of women on television as they interact with cosmetic beauty products". Les Baxter's mamba sound track , grainy VHS visual production and a disconcerting moment in which in eye seems trapped inside the mask, (the human presence being eclipsed by the process of beautification) lend an ominous air, more appropriate to an exploitation film than, perhaps, a beauty informercial.

Each of the films builds to the final jigsaw piece of the project: a series of large format, and highly composed photographs, placing Joyce in cliche encounters with the male gaze. In Popcorn Venus, Joyce emerges Venus-like from a cake wearing a shell bikini, nestled amongst other party favours, aping a 1950s bachelor party, her expression, once again, vacant and tired. In the final stages of the series, A Modern Hallucination, Joyce lies, fists clenches, exasperated on a bed "acting" as Calypso puts it "as a mirror to the exhaustion felt whilst bearing the dead weight of constructed femininity".

Joyce is not purely a reaction to the male gaze, but also a darkly satirical indictment of the self-flagellating narcissism of the "bedroom-culture of image-making" created by young women, such as Calypso, with the rise of social media, altering the meaning of modern femininity for generations of young people. Juno Calypso is an artist from whom we can expect great things to come.' - Gregory Barker

[cheetagon]

Another 100 questions thingy

1.Sunrise or sunset?  Both are fucking pretty

2.Are you mentally ill? Per definition, I am

3.Are you physically ill?  Not that I know of?

4.What is the most expensive thing you have bought?  Probably my current computer

5.Do you have a job?  NO IT'S FINE, RUB IT IN

6.Are you in school?  NOPE HAHA

7.Are you a dropout?  More or less?  I mean I've been to school for 10 years an graduated properly, but I was offered the chance to try my hands at the A-Levels so I did but couldn't even keep going past the first 6 months due to depression

8.Are you in college?  Used to

9.Introvert or extrovert?  Introvert

10.What do you think when you look at your body?   Ugh, disgusting.

11.What have others said when they look at your body?   Depends on who was looking at it.

12.Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply?   I need Love by Akira Yamaoka/Mary Elizabeth McGlynn

13.Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?   Early 2012, I think it was. I don't know why or how it happened, but a series of days in a row I'd just get up in the morning and feel super good, for my standarts anyway.

14.Are you confident wearing a bikini?   Not entirely. I can wear the tops but usually wear bathing trunks to cover up my upper legs

15.Can you look people in the eyes while talking?   Not particularily well... But I've been getting better.

16.Has anything terrible happened to you?   Do you mean my life

17.Has anything wonderful happened to you?   My friends <3 And my kitty

18.Favorite part of your personality?   I'm snarky and sarcastic as fuck

19.Least favorite part of your personality?   Everything else

20.Favorite part of your body?   My hair

21.Least favorite part of your body?   Everything else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

22.Favorite quote?   "Decide to be fine till the end of the week. Make yourself smile because you’re alive and that’s your job. Then do it again the next week. I call it being professional. Do it right, with a smile, or don’t do it." ~Frank Devereaux

23.Do you have friendships with all genders?   Dude the gender spectrum on its own is nearly infinite so don't even go there

24.Do you have a good relationship with your father?   I guess

25.Do you have a good relationship with your mother?   I guess

26.Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?   As good as it can get :')

27.Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?   Physically? Nah. Mentally? You betcha!

28.Have you ever had a near death experience?   ....I think. One time I went roller skating and let's just say I didn't pay much attention to what I was doing.

29.Do you know anyone who has taken their own life?   Technically, but I hardly remember anything about that person except that he was our landlord. And when he killed himself I was only 5 or 6 so, yeah.

30.Have you ever tried to take your own life?   -

31.Biggest lie you have told?   I told my mum I was out with my friend when I was actually out with my boyfriend, OOOOOO SNAP. I don't usually lie tho so I think that was the biggest one I ever dropped that wasn't an emergency lie. :U

32.Do you follow any conspiracies?   Conspiracies are interesting, but I don't follow any actively.

33.Do you believe in a New World Order?   shrugs

34.Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?   I think. I mean I couldn't do it any better if I was in charge, so lmao

35.Is there currently any strife in your country?   Don't think so??

36.Have you ever been displaced within your country?   No??

37.Are your friendships healthy?   Most of them are, yes. The ones that matter, anyway. <3

38.Are you currently fighting with a friend?   Nope!

39.Are you jealous of a friend? Why?   I am on a constant basis, but that's because I'm jelous of nearly everyone for one thing or another lmao

40.Do you believe in the Illuminati?   The Illuminati did infact exist. If you do mean the conspiracy Illuminati-Run-The-Government however, then no. (Everyone knows it's the Patriots who run everything anyway 👀)

41.Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?   See above

42.How can people tell you are nervous?   Not speaking much, tense face, intense gripping on stuff or keeping hands occupied, FOOT TAPPING

43.How can people tell you are sad?   I try my best not to show it, sooo better ask others

44.Do you ever express your true feelings?   To my friends, I do.

45.Regrets in your life?   Sure, a lot. But none I could name specificaly on the top of my head right now.

46.Achievements in your life?   *looking around nervously*

47.What did people say about you in school?   lmao fucking loser

48.What did you say about people in school?   Flithy peasants I hope all of you die in a fire you set off yourself

49.Is there something you have never told anyone?   Oh there are quite some things

50.Have you committed an illegal act?   What are you a cop or something

51.If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?   Probably invite my friends to go on a shopping spree and give parts of it to my parents so they can pay off their dept

52.What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?   Age 5: I'll be an artist!   Age 10: I'll buy a shop to sell Sonic Merch in there! (go ahead, laugh at me)   Age 15: I'll be a famous person!   Age 18: I'll be in a fulfilling relationship some day!

53.Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?   My bf didn't know how to kiss AT. ALL. Needless to say it was awful.

54.Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?   Average I guess, tho my dad always went out of his way to afford gifts for me.

55.Are you from a broken marriage?   Nope!

56.Have you been raised by a solo parent?   Nope!

57.Do you know both your parents?   Yup

58.What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?   Eyes: Green/Grey   Hair: Black/Red   Skin: The Whitest™

59.Have you abused drugs or alcohol?   Nope, done my best in the past 25 years to avoid any contact!

60.What languages can you speak?   English and German fluent, basic Italian and Spanish.

61.Do you conform to your societies standards?   ahahahahahahahahahahaha

62.Do you cry often?   I WANT to cry often.

63.Do you tell people what you think of them?   Depends on the person.

64.Are you comfortable accepting compliments?   Absolutely not, I am the worst when it comes to those.

65.Are you comfortable giving compliments?   Yes. TAKE MY LOVE, GOD DAMN IT!!!

66.Is any mental illness hindering your life?   Is the sky blue?

67.Is any physical illness hindering your life?   I have super super SUPER. Shaky muscles, the more precise the work I need to do, the more likely it is for me to fuck it up because WHOOPS one of my arm muscles decided contract instead of just standing still.

68.Do you keep up with current events?   I guess?

69.What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?   Trump insisting he is being treated unfairly lmao

70.What have you done today?   :')

71.Do you sleep well?   At the moment I do, thank god.

72.Do you sleep badly?   What even

73.Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?   Yes.

74.Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?   Yes.

75.Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?   Not in the regular sense. I just stopped talking to or meeting that person and we grew apart.

76.Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?   Don't think so

77.Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?   Nope

78.Do you like your laugh?   Got the diabolic laugh down quiite well at this point, so yeah, sometimes.

79.Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?   Hoarding Bottlecaps 👀

80.Do you have any funny family stories?   My mum walked straight into a glass door once and my dad took a picture of it at the exact moment lmao

81.Are you religious?   Not really, no. Tho I do like religion itself.

82.Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies?   If they're well executed, sure, why not.

83.Are you interested in cults?   Depends on the cult, but usually not

84.Would you like to raise a family in your country?   Since my country is pretty cool about pets, yeah sure why not 85.List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?   Those stupid shoes that light up when you walk   Super Soaker water pistols   Slot Car Racing Track   A certain type of body wash because the bottles were FUCKING FIGURINES AND THEY LOOKED SO PRETTY I REALLY REALLY WANTED THEM   Animal Action Figures with joints that would bent properly   A shitload of computer games that didn't run on a Mac, which is what I grew up with

86.Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling?   Define large, I don't think 3 years is that much

87.Are you from a blended family?   I don't think so?

88.Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?   Shrugs

89.What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?   "Since you don't have a patreon I'm just going to give you a 5€ pizza tip on paypal every month from now"

90.Do you keep a journal?   Nope.

91.Would anyone be hurt by reading it?   -

92.Do you have children?   Do Fur-Babies count?

93.Have you been pregnant?   Heck no

94.List your favorite movies?   Silent Hill and Scott Pilgrim vs. the world

95.List your favorite people?   My friends <3

96.Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?   I have a SHIT ton of birthmarks on my body and a few scars here an there. The most visible ones can be explained with one word: CAT.

97.Do you look after yourself?   Shrugs

98.Do you put yourself or others first?   Others. Always.

99.Are you happy today?   Eh.

100.Are you loved?    I think?

[normal-thoughts-official]

sh polycule headcanon howhroierhoewrhoew FUCK this is so fucking funny their group chat just being 'the cult' fhowdnow okay okay but when alec is like 'so my bf can do magic' izzy is like 'my gf is a werwolf and i have a partner who is a seelie???'

@maiaisbia omg shut up Magnus tells Alec and Alec is like vibrating because he's gonna have to hide that from izzy (hes not gonna go around spilling Magnus' secrets, he could tell how nervous he was about it) and he's like "oh no I've never hid anything from izzy effectively in my entire life" but its not like izzy is gonna be guessing that Magnus is a warlock right????? and Magnus is like "oh its ok meliorn's a seelie maia's a werewolf she already knows about magic whats one more person" and Alec's like WHAT and hes like "yeah they told her about it months ago" and alec's like "am i the only one who didn't know this???" and Magnus is like yes

Ahfhsv I love the polycule but I have a crack hc that in an au/twi Izzy starts going out with them but their name is much more vague, like “the team” or smth, and she doesn’t explain it to Alec bc she assumes Magnus told him, and vice verse, so Alec ends up thinking she’s become part of a cult, but he can’t just say that bc he trusts Magnus and can’t be like “hey did your very close friends indoctrinate my sister into a cult?” So he suffers in silence

omg this is absolutely fantastic tho like i love it? idndidndudbudbi izzy's just like "yeah i gotta go meet the team" and alec's all awkwardly like "uh, okay. have fun?" because he wants to support her and he knows if hes like "izzy what the fuck" she'll turn against him. and she shrugs and thinks he's being weird just cuz he's like this with his little sister and her love life. but internally he's Dying

and Magnus always talks about it with so much like, ease, like it's the most natural thing in the world, and Alec is just twitching. like okay Magnus does tarot and stuff, he knows that, but is he really that okay with a cult? well i mean if Magnus is okay with it, it can't be too bad, right, he wouldnt approve of bad shit. but like. still. what's his little sister getting into. and he Spirals

until one day it occurs to Alec that Magnus might also be part of the cult and alec's all like. "Are you. Part of the team?" and Magnus is like "no? I'm with you? Is this your way of asking if I'm into polyamori?" and alec is like what and Magnus is like what and Alec is like what

once the misunderstanding is cleared up Magnus spends the next 3 months making fun of him for it at every opportunity and the rest of their lives making fun of him for it at almost every opportunity. izzy thinks this is great and from then on they call themselves "the cult"