#its so fucking weird to me how he derailed so bad

[llaudna]

zachary levi endorsing trump while yvonne strahovski plays a big role in the handmaids tale says so much

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[dontlookforme00]

💚ninjaa4a4afan192288 Follow

Ok but is it actually too soon about the whole Stiix thing. Like whenever I make a joke about it there's always people who look at me weird.

My brother in FSM, that happened like 5 years ago. Get over it. For all our sakes. Pls

☄️theplantenjoyer Follow

What the fuck.is wrong with yuo. My uncle died in that little green pricks shitshow. Shwo some respedt for the dead

🚨spiderronmyphon Follow

which green prick. there's a few, be more specific

💚ninjaa4a4afan192288 Follow

I am showing respect for the dead. Massive respect to Morro. What a fucking plan.

Imagine you get banished to hell and the MOMENT that the nations saviour sacrifices his dad, you escape. Attack ur teacher, the students ur teacher was cheating on u with, (academically) and then immediately graverob god.

Why have none of us talked about this. This is insane.

He graverobbed God, normal-robbed whatever place had the SOS, normal-robbed some ginger in Stiix. And then beat up the students like three times.

AND FUCKING DIED AGAIN

I can't get my head around this. This topic has always fascinated me and I really need us as a society to normalise it so I can fucking talk about this.

Also your spelling is shit and idc about your uncle

🤝theuhhbrobrogoogoo Follow

He was,,,a terrorist?? Why are we glamourising this. Morro killed people and ruined lives. Stop throwing an Internet tantrum and divert your attention to the REAL one deserving of it. And that is Nadakhan

💚ninjaa4a4afan192288 Follow

Fucking who

☄️theplantenjoyer Follow

Fucking who

🚨spiderronmyphon Follow

What. Who??

🕓whi7g-8919-9 Follow

I KNOW THIS IS A BAD TIME BUT WE HAVENT ACTUALLY COME TO A CONCLUSION ON WHETGER OR NOT NINDROIDS ARE HUMAN?? GUYS.

GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHERE DO NINDROIDS ACTUALLY COME UNDER OUR LAWS

💚ninjaa4a4afan192288 Follow

Nows not the FUCKING TIME GERALD

🚨spiderronmyphon Follow

Ok, this is interesting. Article 3.4 C of the "Humanity" Section of the Ninjago City Department of Law Archive of 2017 states that, "Nindroids are legally recognised as on the same status as all other biological humans by the following criteria: " and then its fucking blank??? This city is a joke. The audacity. What was the point. How the fuck did this pass

And the implications of this, if it wasn't just some stupid error? Neither Zane nor Pixal can face legal justice for being discriminated against in workplace, or anywhere else. They can't buy things under their name, because they aren't recognised as citizens. Only as advanced AI (pretty fucked up but uh). They can't get married, own intellectual property, or . Anything. That's wild.

🐭technosharpieesz Follow

I mean yah. They're bots. They'd hack the economy or sm idk . I'm not going to explain to you why we shouldn't be integrating literal AI into our society??

🚨spiderronmyphon Follow

MOTHERFUCKER LISTEN HERE-

💚ninjaa4a4afan192288 Follow

GUYS CAN WE PLEASE STOP DERAILING MY POST!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME PLEASE!! I SUPPORTED A TERRORIST LOOK AT ME

🕓whi7g-8919-9 Follow

Shut up apologist wer talking abt Pixane now

✨️ninja-heritageposts Follow

Ninja heritage post

💔realsestreal-ninjafanacc Follow

Everybody on this post is a fucking lunatic.

[jinxsmandalorianmalewife]

The Shadow and The Ice Queen- Part 2

You were So confused yet So not surprised….Of course your lack-of-common-sense older sister didn’t think that literally Marrying a man you Just Met is a bad idea. “Anna I don’t mean to be rude but as Your Brother I must ask Are You Sure?” Y/N said as he tried to get Anna’s brain to Actually Think in the common sense department. It didn’t work. “Yes I’m sure Y/N!” She said with a sure smile and shake of her head at his supposed nonsense. And Then Anna began to ramble about Wedding Plans….At least his Elder sister has common sense “wait! Slow down No ones brothers are staying here except for Ours and No ones getting Married” Elsa said as she Tried to derail Anna from making a mistake “Wait what!??” Anna said with surprise “May I talk to you please?!….Alone…” Elsa suggested with a nervous face as she held her hands together “No wha-whatever you have to say you can say to both of us!” Anna declared as she hugged Sideburns arms. “Fine You can’t marry a man you just met” FINALLY! Y/N thought while Elsa put on a straight calm face “You can if it’s true love” Anna said as she tried to justify her actions “Anna what do you know about true love” Elsa said with a low cold voice and straight face. “That Rich coming from the one who Never left her room” Y/N responded with a glare as the room oh so slightly darkened….nobody noticed. “Excuse me?” Elsa said with a somewhat shocked face. “You heard me Dear Elder sister. All you know is how to shut people out apparently or never give the time of Bloody day to be apart of their lives” Y/N wasn’t being nice This time. His words struck a nerve in Elsa…..and it hurt. Elsa decided to turn her attention back to Anna “Anna I’m sorry but my answer is no” she said as she began to move away from them “Your majesty if I may-“ Sideburns said as he got interrupted by Elsa. “No you may not and I-I think you should go. The party is over” she said to a guard “Close the gates” Elsa said as she had her back turned towards Y/N, Anna, and Prince southern sideburns. “What?“ Anna said with shock. “Elsa no-no wait!” Anna said as she grabbed Elsa’s glove which made her Gasp and panic slightly. Y/N’s eyes narrowed as he walked towards his sisters. “Give me my glove!” Elsa said as she Tried to reach for her glove. “Elsa please! Please I can’t live like this anymore” Anna pleaded. “Then Leave…” Elsa said with a hurtful face. “Oh wow really mature your Highness. Of course you push the Only person who gives a damn about you like this!” Y/N said as Elsa Tried to walk away. Her heart ached and her panic was High…Y/N’s words cut like blades that made her bleed and cry….she nearly was and so was Anna as she heard her little brother go off on Elsa “Enough Y/N!” Elsa said with a shaky voice “I WILL NOT!” Y/N said as the room became darker and this time people began to notice “YOU SHUT THE WORLD OUT! YOU SHUT ANNA OUT! YOU IGNORED MY EXISTENCE AND NOW THAT YOUR QUEEN YOU’LL CONTINUE TO LIVE ALONE IN THE DARK ITS LIKE YOUR AFRAID SO TELL US WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?!” Y/N ranted with fury as his powers slowly consumed the room which few began to notice until- “I said ENOUGH!!!” With a wave of frustration from her hand she made a wall of spiked ice….and that’s when shock truly hit Y/N. “Sorcery….” Said the duke of Weasel town and weird dancing. “I knew there was something dubious going on here” he said as he cling like a coward to his larger guards arm….. “Elsa….” Anna said with shock. “All this……Time…..” Y/N Said as his eyes were wide and his mind put so many questions together….all this time…..She had bloody powers…..oh now it all makes Fucking sense…..and it made him Mad! Elsa then fled while Y/N walked away into the shadows and then disappeared into a shadowy cloud. He walked through the empty and Dark hallways as his mind raced with Hate and answers form years of questions. His footsteps made loud stomps while the shadows Darkened from his Anger. Y/N then saw his sister walking on frozen water…..and summer became winter……you watched her run…..and your glare could be felt by Elsa. CLIFFHANGER BITCHES!

[quitealotofsodapop]

Me pregunto como interactuaran LMK canon con el au monkey king and the infant XDD seria hilarante que vieran una versión del rey mono tan relajada y seguro de mismo (muestra sus defectos y no los oculta, canon wukong) y que macaco es una madre feroz que hace tapetes con la mirada y que ambos están juntos bjsabd

used DeepL translator this time cus google was acting odd;

"I wonder how LMK canon will interact with au monkey king and the infant XDD it would be hilarious to see such a relaxed and confident version of the monkey king (he shows his flaws and doesn't hide them, canon wukong) and that macaque is a fierce mother who makes mats with her eyes and that the two are together bjsabd."

I have considered scenarios where the Canon LMK characters interact with their Au counterparts XD

Like a glitch in the Wukongverse leads to the canon and the au verses colliding.

Canon & Au MK, at the same time: "Wow! Another me! Why are you in monkey/human form tho? Huh!? I've always been like this! Wait..." Au!MK: "Wait... you're not like a default monkey? That must be weird for mom and dad." Canon!MK: "WHOM???" *cue both MKs screaming. Canon and Au shadowpeach approach one another* Canon!SWK, pokes Au!Wukong's stomach: "Whoa, this version of me has really let himself go..." Au!SWK, annoyed: "And look, this me is still an emotionally immature slob." *grabs canon!Wukong's hand* "You try being half-mortal for twenty years!" *cue a multi-SWK fight. The Macaques watch on* Canon!Macaque, suspiciously: "What about you? How come you look so... content?" Au!Macaque: "Lets just say... I learned to forgive someone." Canon!Macaque: "Ugh. Don't tell me..." Au!Macaque: "I know, I know..."

Neither versions of the characters want to reveal information that could affect the others timelines/relationships too badly, but there's still slip ups...

Especially when the kids are causing havoc around the different Shadowpeach couples.

*Both shadowpeaches are sitting around on FFM. The different kids are play-fighting* Canon!SWK: "So wait, you guys got turned mortal because of some comet?" Au!SWK: "Yeah, its a long story, and we don't wanna give away too much that could like derail your universe." Canon!Macaque: "I think we can handle some interdimensional mayhem." Au!Macaque: "Ok, so it started-" *notices the kids playing a bit too roughly. Mom-voice activates* "QI XIAOTIAN AND LONG XIAOJIAO! You stop fighting like animals this instant!" Au!MK & Mei: "Sorry Bama!!" "Yeah! Sorry!" Canon! MK & Mei: "Uh, yeah sorry!" "Our bad!" Au!Macaque, voice back to normal: "I swear even if we were still immortal, they'd make us age..." Au!SWK: "True that." Canon SWK & Macaque: 0_0 X_0 Canon!Macaque: "Care explaining to me, what the fuck?" Au! SWK & Macaque: "Language!"

Canon Shadowpeach are def a little uncomfortable around, but envious of the Au married couple. Au Wukong and Macaque are very affectionate and have been reconciled for some time. Combined with an odd number of baby Mystic Monkeys around the alternate household, and the canon monkeys have a lot of questions.

Canon!Macaque, helping clean up dinner: "Soooo... when you meant forgive, you and your Wukong sorta...?" Au!Macaque, washing dishes: "Yeah. *Stuff* happened." Canon!Macaque: "In this context; *stuff* meaning your MK?" Au!Macaque: "Yep." Canon!Macaque: "Dang. One more question." Au!Macaque: "Go ahead." Canon!Macaque: "In making your MK, did you and Wukong ba-" Au!Macaque, face bright red: "Not where the kids can hear!! The twins have our ears!" Canon!Macaque, chuckling: "Ok then. I'll take that as a yes." Au!Macaque, still a little flustered: "It involved the comet. Thats all I'm gonna say." Canon!Macaque: "...what??"

Overall everyone is left very confused but with a fresh perspective on things.

Canon Pigsy is jealous that his au counterpart has more employees other than MK (au Wukong and Nezha). Both Tangs are just infodumping with eachother, while the Sandys are drinking tea.

The ones with the biggest shocks I imagine would be the canon kids tho, especially Nezha.

Canon!Nezha: "You look... rougher than me." Au!Nezha, unsurprised: "I imagine that you're still guarding the Map?" Canon!Nezha: "Ehh... not anymore. Wukong stole it." Au!Nezha: "Hmph. And they still let you stay in the Celestial Realm?" Canon!Nezha: "Yes? Why wouldn't they?" Au!Nezha, getting more quiet: "They didn't show me such generosity twenty years ago."

Both Nezhas end up chilling for a while. Canon Nezha is left uneasy after the encounter.

[shotaumino]

My coord for Forbidden Door! Simple look, but I liked it. Wish my accessories had come in on time, but I'm happy.

I put my thoughts on the PPV under the cut. Theres a lot, and its the good, the bad and the ugly. So proceed with caution.

- I'm used to going to shows in NJ and PHL, so we were impressed by efficiency and organization at UBS.

- Like I said, great seats. We were in the 100s, row 10. Would choose seats like that again.

- I've only been to two live wrestling events and forgot how annoying wrestling fans can be when they aren't engaged with what they are watching. Just talking about anything and everything if they don't know the wrestler in the ring. I get not everyone wants to do research, but be a little curious? Be engaged and see wbaf they have to offer?

- MJF got a massive pop, but once the wrestling started it was pretty quiet. I still don't get his thing and I think a lot of fans are more there for his persona than in ring ability.

- Hiromu was pretty over which made me happy considering the over-under of foreign talent reception.

- ZSJ v Orange Cassidy was excellent and following it up with Jericho felt absolutely criminal.

- I absolutely would never be able to tell from online how over The Acclaimed are. The crowd went wild for them AND loved their rap. The match was honestly pretty fun! And seeing Okada and Tanahashi IRL felt pretty special.

- Dragon match felt like it was a "for the wrestlers" match. Also some peoplle left right after. I guess thats what they paid all that money to see.

- Ladder match was fun! I think it was sligntly dampened for me because half the people involved were very obviously not going to win. CM Punk chants were annoying. No one knew ELP which was a crime. Takashita should have won and taken the belt with him to Japan idc. 

- Takeshita is so over. And hes so impressive IRL. Heard a lot of people shocked by how big he is.

- I love Stephanie Vaquer so much! Shes quickly becoming one of my top favorites. Her and Mercedes had a Top 3 match last night. Shes a superstar! The way people were trying to derail the match and she MADE them care. It was also crazy how quickly the crowd turned on Mercedes? She did one move which looked cool to me but the arena shifted to Stephanie on a dime. Obviously knew she wasn't going to win but I'm glad she made such a strong impression.

- Just to reiterate. Just because you don't know someone, doesn't mean you should just mentally check out. Why are you talking about the fourhorsewomen during this match? Its absolutely insane to me how some wrestling fans can't watch a match unless they are familiar with the lineage of both wrestlers.

- The Naito v Mox match was bad. Just... felt bad. Naito didn't seem right the whole time. Personally I think he came out looking worse and I know who he is and how great he was. Look, Naitos legacy is secure but if the goal is to get people interested in NJPW that was the worst mstch to showcase it. And I can't blame the fans on this. Stephanie and Mina both won over the crowd. If you didn't know Naito (and plenty of people didn't, I heard them asking who he was) then this match certainly wouldn't make you want to learn. 

- I was looking forwad to people no longer complaining now that Naito has the title except now the complaint is that he has it and NJPW is screwed because they don't have anyone worth taking it off him. Glad I got into DDT because NJPW discourse is going to be annoying until the G1 starts.

- Swerve v Ospready was out of this world. Genuinely felt like it could have gone either way. The timing on the counts was immaculate. You should have heard the boos when Don Callis appeared. And Nana got to be the hero! The whole arena was absolutely rocking with Swerve.

- There were two weird Ospreay fanboys who kept yelling 'Fuck Swerve'. No one was joining them, even other Ospready fans. It felt weirdly racist because they KEPT DOING IT even though no one else was paying then any attention?? I think people were also getting restless because someone started shrieking intermittedly in the crowd and then people started screaming for them to shut up.

- Speaking of bad fan behavior. Absolutely fuck fans who try to make the show about them. When Stephanie and Mercedes were going hard this asshole in a celtics shirt stood up and of course the crowd started chanting at him. You freaks only do that shit during womens matches.

- Back to Swerve v Ospreay and in any case the end of the show. Beautiful finish, surprising finish! Definately thought Swerve was going to TD91 him but it was a surprisingly kinder finish? Which I'm hoping is where Adam Page comes in. Speaking of which I think a lot of us were lingering around waiting for a confrontation. People almost started booing when it just ended like normal.

- All in all, a lot of fun! I definately want to see more live events when they're in my area! Worth the three hour drive

[smileymoth]

8, 20, 21, 22

Plus a random number without looking at the questions, hmmm....

You get: 86

8. movies or tv shows? MOVIES. i suck so bad at watching tv shows because i always get sooo scared about wasting my time so i rather just watch a 2 hour movie and get it over with. this is also why i never get thru tv shows. i still havent properly watched all of star trek TOS....even when i was properly obsessed with it.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i honestly really prefer my laptop. notes are good but i make so many typos bc i type so fast. in class i take notes in my sketchbook. and sometimes i write down like little story segments in my sketchbook as well when i dont feel like typing it up on my notes app.

21. obsession from childhood? cats (is it obvious), ancient egypt, LPS, warrior cats, hollywood undead. in that order. probably

22. role model? i don't think i have one, there's people who have influenced me and how i behave (like my mom and dad. obviously.) but there's never been anyone who i like... look up to??? the same way that idolization is such a weird and foreign concept to me because everybody is fucked up and you can't take 1 person to be the end all be all because... well... you know. you'll end up disappointed. there's never going to be anyone who you agree with 100% or sb that you condone all the actions/behaviours of. + if its someone who you dont know personally like a celebrity or some author or fuckall whatever, You dont know them, how can they be your role model?? like it doesn't fit in my head, it's too "end all be all" title to give to someone, even if its your family member.... you get what im talking about?

i could write a longer post about my thoughts on "idolization" and "role models" in the web scene because im so sick of people getting disappointed bc their lovely internet crush did something weird that they didnt like. sorry this got derailed.

my role model is uhhhhhhhh lestat from interview with the vampire bc hes a cunty whore bitch who kills people and manipulates his gay boyfriend who doesnt want him

86. cookies or cupcakes? im in my "pastries are scary" era rn but uhhh cookies. i guess

[twisted-tales-told]

Until I can think of one pls tell me your favourite film <3

Doing this one first because So Many Good Films On My Mind Right Now

BEFORE U READ ANY OF THIS IF YOU TAKE ONE THING AWAY ITS THAT YOU SHOULD WATCH SEA BEAST ON NETFLIX

1. Pride (2014)

Some part of my brain is always thinking about this film, it’s so good. Like, I cannot even put into words what this film has made me feel. It was the first queer film I saw after deciding to come out & gave me a lot of hope that there are people who will not understand me but still love & appreciate me anyways—which has been a very useful & bittersweet lesson

2. Waves

A slice of life film about a black American family, specifically it follows the son of the family (at first) and him struggling with being a wrestler and having kinda crappy mental health. That’s all I can say without spoiling this film but it’s such a good one.

3. Annihilation

Best sci-fi movie to ever exist every other one can fuck off it does not hit the same (Arrival gets close but doesn’t have the Colours this one does) It’s just such an intense film, and I have a LOT and I mean A LOT of opinion on aliens/space/what life is or looks like elsewhere and this film comes kind of close to these opinions. I want to read the books so bad but they’re ones I want paper copies for which is expensive so I’m waiting until I have both the time & money for it

4. Everything Everywhere All At Once

Absolutely fucking phenomenal, mother/daughter dynamics fuck me up & this one did so much, I will cry if I talk about it for too long

5. Words on Bathroom Walls

Love this film so much. It’s about a teenage boy who’s entire life gets derailed by a schizophrenia diagnosis and he’s struggling to come to terms with it while in a new school and what it means for his life and future. Schizophrenia is an extremely stigmatized mental illness and I think this film does a good job with humanizing the struggles that come with a schizophrenia diagnosis. The films tone overall is he’s just some guy who’s had a hurtle thrown at him, and it’s only a part of who he is.

6. Bones and All

Y’all know I’m a sucker for this film, it’s so good. I also love how there is one to many props in this film that I personally own in my house and they’re weird things too like the cooler her dad owns and a specific mug etc.

7. SEA BEAST!!!

Oh my god it’s such a good film. It’s very how to train your dragon like where the humans are at war with these ocean beasts, but unlike httyd the sea beasts are not like “puppies” and don’t get me wrong I LOVE httyd, I have a marauders au wip for it, but there is this thing about Sea Beast that just hits different and it’s that no side is inherently good in this fight, they have hurt and attacked each other but there still needs to be reconciliation to move on.

8. Chronicle

My absolute favourite superhero film, it’s about these three guys who accidentally get these telekinesis like powers and the whole thing is filmed from this one guys video camera, or like news cameras, it’s so fucking cool! (I do have some critiques for this film, it’s definitely not perfect but it was the first superhero film I watched where I was like OHH I get it!!)

9. The Iron Giant

My childhood. Makes me SOB. Ahhhh.

[lazulian-devil]

Yeah I agree. I dont remember how old exactly Calean is, but its Too Damn Old™.

What I found particularly weird about it (as an adult) is the fact that none of the adults actually properly... Say something.

Sometimes I think Landy doesnt really think about age much, because even though I love Tanith and Ghastly, they're still 70 and 400. Which is so fucked up.

Repeatedly, the fact that these are old ass (or young ass) people doesnt seem to matter in SPU. Because really, we're supposed to read them as their visual age.

That said, Calean is extra bad because hes also literally a blood sucking, murderous, very much established as the Bad Species™, vampire.

But yeah, shes just having a teenage crush, nothing to worry about.

(The age thing bothers me so much, literally everywhere in the book, but Ive derailed your post enough)

So I've been rereading phase 1 and 2 of Skulduggery Pleasant and like.

Was Valkyrie groomed by Calean? Because now that I'm older, that seems like what happened.

That’s how I interpreted it, at least. I’d have to do a reread too but considering everything about their relationship (age gap, him being possessive as shit of her, etc) I definitely don’t think it’s a stretch.

[bigskydreaming]

@destefaniart Yup, “In Their Shadows Grow Trees of Good and Evil” is definitely Court of Owls related. Its literally just using that series’ AU setting and family dynamics with the premise: 

What if the Batfam found out about the Court’s existence and plans for Dick before the Court ever tried to make a move on him, based purely on fifteen year olds Jason and Cass watching Court members be skeevy around their older brother at galas and being like...mmm, don’t love whatever’s going on over there. I sense Evil afoot.

(The following is just some off-the-cuff dialogue along those lines, but not actually likely to be the actual dialogue I go with because the character voices aren’t quite what I’m aiming for Jason and Cass to actually sound like in this. I’m mostly just being goofy for the LULZ at the moment. But like. You get the gist).

Jason: I do not care for their vibes, sister. 

Cass: Samesies.

Jason *spluttering*: Samesies? SAMESIES? Did you not hear the intonations I put in that? The gravitas? You couldn’t just like....match my energy, nooooo, you had to go and fucking derail by being like ‘ha ha, samesies, tee-hee’ which by the way, is something I have literally NEVER heard out of your mouth before now and I somehow doubt I will ever hear you say again...ugh. God, would it KILL you to just follow my lead for once?

Cass, regarding her dramatic-ass brother with all the gravitas he wanted before: Yes. I could die. Would you like that? Do you want me to die?

Jason: ....what?

Cass: I see. I would literally die for you. For our brother. But me? I can die. You’d be fine. Ideal, even. Good to know.

Jason: What is happening right now.

Cass: Learning I love you more than you love me. Its fine. Why? What’s up with you?

Jason: Why are you like this?

Cass *shrugs and stares deeply into her flute glass of sparkling apple cider as though its a scrying pool that contains the answer to his question, which is now suddenly the most important question to ever be asked and/or contemplated*: My parents are bad people. That could be it.

Jason snorts, the mood broken: Oh please. My dad’s an ambulatory piece of shit with just enough of a credit history to trick society into thinking he came out of a womb instead of a public toilet. You ain’t special.

Cass *shrugs*: Knew it wasn’t going to land. Figured I’d commit anyway.

*both pause to soak in the sudden uncomfortableness*

Jason: Right! So! How do you want to play this? Should we just skip straight past the awkwardness to an abrupt subject change and pretend neither of us ever dropped the dreaded ‘p’ word? Or we could do the whole ‘mine are worse’ ‘no mine are worse’ thing until we make a scene that ends with Dick assuring us its not a competition and we can both have shitty parents while getting that weird pinched expression where its like he can’t decide whether he wants to apologize for having good parents or like, pat us on the head for having terrible ones? That’s always fun.

Cass, nodding thoughtfully: I do enjoy that. I shouldn’t. But I do.

Jason, bumping her shoulder with his: Eh, don’t feel too bad. He gets the same look when Bruce burns toast and Dick can’t decide if he wants to roast B for it or apologize for being a functioning adult who can safely use a toaster without having the fire department on standby just in case.

Cass: Also very funny.

Jason: Exactly. Sides, its not like its your fault. I mean, how do we know you finding that funny ISN’T because your parents are shitty people?

Cass, eyeing him with the dubious air of someone who WANTS to believe, but is well acquainted with her brother’s brand of bullshit: I laugh when our brother gets the awkward look where he doesn’t know whether something’s just sad or something he should feel bad for.....because my mother kills people for money.

Jason, spreading his arms as if points were actually just made: Can you prove there’s for sure NOT a connection there?

Cass: People are right. You do use that too much.

Jason, who has never backed down in his life and for damn sure isn’t about to start right now: And you know who’s fault that probably is?

Cass, with eyebrow raised: Your dad’s?

Jason, triumphant: EXACTLY. Its not my fault the math all checks out.

Cass: Right. Its math.

Jason: Yup. Can’t argue with math. The only empirical truth of the universe. I mean, could you imagine if you tried to say math led you astray? Bruce might actually cry.

Cass: Are you done?

Jason, pausing to consider. Yeah, I can be done.

Cass takes a deliberate chug of her drink, eyes watching her brother the whole time as if just waiting for him to reverse course and pick right back up.

Jason: Hey wait a second. People say I use that too much? What people?

Cass *shrugs*: People.

Jason: Well what people are talking about me? Are they talking about me TO you? What do they say? Are you defending me at least?

Cass, after a pause: Sorry. I lied. No people were talking. Definitely not about you.

Jason, narrowing his eyes: Why don’t I believe that?

Cass shrugs: Because I just told you I lied?

Jason: Ugh, no, not about that, I don’t believe you about lying.

Cass squints: I lied about lying?

Jason: Yes. That.

Cass: That’s weird. Why would I do that?

Jason: I DON’T KNOW.

Cass: Well if you don’t know how should I know?

Jason: You’re doing that thing again.

Cass: Now you’re lying. I never do things. I’m a thinker, not a doer. My therapist even said so.

Jason, rolling his eyes: That’s because you’re a demented little chaos monster who pathologically lies to your therapist just so you can giggle at Bruce’s face every time she comes back with increasingly niche diagnoses for stuff you read about on WebMD.

Cass: Bruce said I needed more hobbies!

Jason: Yes, and manipulating your therapist into basing an entirely absurd and completely off-base CASE STUDY on you is what he meant.

Cass, the unrepentant: He should have been more specific.

Jason: She’s going to publish only to be completely discredited and then laughed right out of her tenure isn’t she.

Cass, shrugging: I don’t know how tenure works.

Jason, eyeing her sternly: Don’t you think that a) there’s a chance this might have gotten a LITTLE out of hand, and b) you should be at least a LITTLE concerned that I of all people think this is a bad idea?

Cass: Why do you get to be the only one with bad ideas? My parents are bad people too! Math!

Jason: Eww, stop making me see the error of my own ways! I’m too young to repent!

Cass, rolling her eyes now: I’m only doing it because she’s a terrible person who shouldn’t be allowed to work with children who can’t tell when she’s being secretly judgy while saying things that would make them feel bad if they couldn’t tell she doesn’t really care about helping them like I can.

Jason: So you’re saying.....this is all just because she’s actually a danger to the people she’s supposed to be helping, and you’re only doing it for the greater good.

Cass: Mostly for the greater good.

Jason: Cass!

Cass: Its not my fault its still funny!

Jason groans. He’s so not cut out to be the responsible sibling. It feels gross. How does Dick do it all the time.

Cass, exasperated: Jason. She thinks I have an imaginary friend.

Jason: What? Why the fuck does she think that?

Cass blinks: I told her I did.

Jason groans again.

Cass: She didn’t have to believe me!

Jason: Why didn’t you just tell Bruce the real reason you don’t like her and let him deal with this?

Cass, hotly: I’m not a QUITTER.

Jason: You get how absurd you’re being right now right? This is ME. Judging YOU. For YOU being the absurd one here!

Cass: Your last therapist was convinced you were a pyromaniac!

Jason jabs a finger at her: Hey! That is NOT the same! ONE time, I said ‘fire pretty’ as a JOKE, and he just leaped to conclusions!

Cass: You started a fire. In your room. That same night.

Jason: That was an ACCIDENT! 

Cass crosses her arms. Judgmentally.

Jason: He was being RIDICULOUS and it was totally ridiculous that Bruce just like, BELIEVED him because like ‘he’s a professional Jason, he knows how to do his job,’ as though the fact that I can literally LIE TO HIS FACE about secretly being fucking ROBIN in session after session wasn’t kinda a big red flag that maybe the dude’s not that GOOD at his job, y’know? But you show B enough diplomas on a wall and he’s like ah excellent, an expert, like people don’t BUY their way through school all the fucking time and I was just TRYING to make Bruce see how ridiculous it was to think this guy had ANY clue what he was talking about by being like hey, look at all the super flammable and incendiary stuff I have just readily available throughout my room, and yet surprise! No fire! Could a pyromaniac do that?!

Cass: And then a fire started.

Jason: Yes, obviously, but only on ACCIDENT.

Cass: From all the super-flammable and incendiary stuff you accidentally had in your room TO start fires.

Jason: Okay, see, I feel like you’re not getting it.

Cass: That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Jason: Oh great, now I’m getting judged by Miss Watch Me Gaslight My Therapist Into Losing Her Job By Writing About How Not Normal I Am, With This Of Course Being a TOTALLY NORMAL THING TO DO

Cass glares at him. Jason glares at her. 

Cass: This is why Bruce is so sure we need therapy, isn’t it.

Jason: Can we agree that he can never know that we’ve come to understand why he’s concerned, and that making us go might not actually be the worst thing he’s ever done to us?

Cass: Obviously.

Jason: Great. Now to distance ourselves from this uncomfortable self-awareness as quickly as we possibly can, let’s jump tracks: where did we land on those creepers talking to Dick and how we feel about their vibes?

Cass: The vibes are rancid. 

Jason: Awesome, we’re still on the same page. And this leads us to conclude that the owners of the rancid vibes give Major Skeeve and we do not like and or trust them or their skeeviness right? 

Cass: Duh.

Jason: So in conclusion, rancid vibes, skeevy dudes, probable evil afoot. At the very least, insidiousness. We should definitely investigate further.

Cass: Yes. There will probably need to be punching.

Jason: Any particular reason, or because you just want to punch them?

Cass: *hesitates* Sure.

Jason: I am so uncomfortable with this inverted dynamic wherein I am the voice of reason and also moderation. Are we done yet? Is opposite day over?

Cass, rolling her eyes: Fine. Minimal punching. And I won’t even enjoy it even if they are evil and my parents are still bad people and math said it was okay.

Jason: See? There we go. And Bruce thinks we need therapy. Hah!

[worldformula]

Hi what’s the deal with ryuki and saito in your au. Those drawings are so deranged

You know what it was on me to drop the weirdest possible made up AITSF dynamic I could’ve drawn on the dash with no context and then expect to get away with it

AINI / AITSF SPOILERS. Also vehicular manslaughter / DUI mentions.

There is no eloquent way to put it, but in the AU, Saito accidentally established a connection with Ryuki when he was the one who (somewhat kind of accidentally) killed his twin six years ago. I changed the twin’s death backstory so that it happened at (the outskirts of) a very fancy rich people party and Saito ran him over really violently because he was SUPER not sober. He got away with it without having to dig too deep to clean up his mess or ruining their family’s reputation (because Uru covered for him) so he did not know that his victim had an identical twin until six years later, when Ryuki is investigating the Sejima’s as an ABIS agent. Imagine his surprise.

So, like the weird dance he’s doing with Hitomi and Renju regarding Manaka, Saito now has another slightly loose end he didn’t anticipate, but very quickly figures out that Ryuki is doing very badly and if he fucks with him enough, he might be able to make him appear unreliable and too ill to take seriously. And if Saito plays his cards right, he might have an In on the investigation regarding his family and mess it up enough to derail it. And if it doesn’t work out as intended, easy to just have him killed and make it look like an accident.

When Ryuki breaks into the Sejima manor for his investigation, he has an episode and Saito finds him first which is the worst thing that could’ve happened. Unfortunately he does notice Tama moving independently of him in his socket when this happens (hence why he’s inspecting her so closely in that one doodle) which gives him a hint early on that she’s some sort of spy camera (or at least, that’s what he thinks. Because what normal person would immediately suspect an AI eyeball with its own personality). Being the very good liar that he is, Saito charms his way into making Ryuki trust him, and because he canonically shows no physical indications of deceit, Tama currently cannot save him from this freak.

Since Saito’s not being a serial killer in this AU, he has to get his demons out in the psychological warfare way instead. Which honestly isn’t enough for him but the circumstances surrounding his family in this universe are making it very difficult for him to get everything he wants while also killing people at random so country girls make do. Anyway, that insane dynamic I had created + the fact that his modus operandi in the canon is the left eye gouging (eating) is how I’d explain that one particular doodle, yeah. Genuinely did not mean for it to imitate The Kiss, my bad

[andypantsx3]

shoto and 'when i find out who is responsible for this...' IM A SUCKER FOR OVERPROTECTIVE SHO LMAO

This one was one of my faves to write, I really hope you like it!

Damage | Todoroki/Reader

Prompt: “When I find out who is responsible for this...” Word Count: 1600 words Tags/Warnings: SFW, ye olde quirk accident trope Notes: Special thanks again to my lady love @bobawithpomegranate for beta-ing me!! Also, for anyone who hasn’t suffered a corporate job: KPIs = key performance indicators, which are a set of business metrics used to measure success in certain areas.

The first sign that something was wrong should have been in line for security. 

Ayako—your favorite member of the Todoroki Agency security team—was waving a detector wand over your clothes when she asked casually, “How’s it going?”

Any other morning, your response was something along the lines of, “Oh, it’s going. How are you?” This morning, however, you blurted, “Good! Except that I bumped someone on the train and spent ten minutes trying to get a coffee stain out of this shirt, and I feel a little sick when I think about leading the KPIs review because Shouto’s property damage numbers are up again which doesn’t look great, so I skipped breakfast but honestly I’m super hungry right now, that was a bad choice, and—”

You cut yourself off, utterly bewildered. Ayako looked similarly nonplussed, raising a slim brow. 

“Uh, nevermind. I’ll just be going,” you said, and hared off to the rest of the security checkpoints before she could give commentary.

So you might have known that something was wrong even before you let yourself into Shouto’s manager’s office, armed with your monthly spreadsheets and performance slide decks. But you hadn’t given it more thought since then, a move which proved to be a complete mistake.

Shouto was already there, lounging in the set of chairs in front of his manager’s desk, looking less like a hero waiting for a meeting and more like some airbrushed ad for his dark turtleneck or his close-fit grey slacks. Your heart shot into your throat at the sight of him, like it usually did, and you had to remind yourself to relax.

Though he was unbearably handsome to the point of distraction, Shouto was relatively easy to get along with, something that should have made you calmer in his presence. He was straightforward, possessed of very little ego, thoughtful, and a very linear and strategic thinker—you’d worked extremely well with him the past couple of years, and Shouto, though he had less to do with the daily operations of the agency, had helped push your promotion last year to Director of Public Relations. It should have added up to an easy and uncomplicated work partnership, but his personality only made your unfortunate crush on him even worse.

He was so horribly, horribly perfect. And you were an awful little metrics gremlin, called in to roast him over the open flame of public opinion once a month. Really not something Shouto might be interested in.

“Y/N,” he said, looking up from his phone and fixing you with an intent look. Your heart stuttered under those heterochromatic eyes.

“Hi, Shouto,” you said, setting down your bag and digging out your laptop for something to take your attention off of him. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” he answered in his deep tone. “How are you?”

And that was it. The damning question that sent it all to hell.

“My heart feels like it could explode any second, and I feel kind of faint, weirdly weak, and incredibly distracted,” you answered, naming the symptoms of his very presence.

There was a beat of silence. You froze, crouched over your bag, laptop halfway out of it. Then it hit you what had just been said, and you slapped a hand over your mouth in horror. 

Shouto was up out of his chair in the blink of an eye, kneeling in front of you with cool fingers on your face, angling it towards him.

“You’re not well?” he asked, those eyes locking on you with an alarming intensity.

His attention only made things worse. “I feel like I might pass out,” you said, cringing even as the words left your mouth.

Fuck, what the hell were you saying? You were making it sound like you were some Victorian maiden, ready to swoon in the mere company of a gentleman. And why were you saying this shit? You’d worked with him for years and you’d never let slip the effect he had on you—what was wrong with you this morning?

You thought back to the coffee incident on the train this morning, the way the girl whose drink you had spilled had startled, the way she had weirdly apologized to you even as you were in the midst of your own apology.

A sense of foreboding settled over you. 

Oh.

Oh fuck.

“I think I’ve been hit with a quirk,” you blabbed.

Shouto’s features shuttered, a hard look you’d never really seen before entering his eye. He went over to his manager’s desk, dialing a number on her office phone, and then he was talking in low tones, asking someone from medical to come up to her office immediately.

Then he was back at your side, easing you carefully to the floor like you actually were in danger of passing out, and not just a huge idiot with an incredibly fat crush that made you say the world’s most ridiculous things.

“When I find out who’s responsible for this,” he uttered, low and dangerous, “they might never be able to use a quirk again.”

For some reason, the threat warmed you, even as it sent a little shiver down your spine. Was it weird to find him hot when he was angry?

You clamped your mouth firmly shut, lest you tell him exactly what illness prevailed you, but your silence was all for naught.

Because when one of the medical staff made it up to the office, pressing a quirk testing strip to your skin, she pronounced, “A truth quirk.”

Shouto caught your hand before it could smack into your forehead, looking surprised that he had done so. And then even more surprised at the pronouncement.

“A truth quirk,” he echoed, looking down at you curiously. His fingers were gentle where they held your wrist.

You squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

“But then, you’re still not well,” he said. He looked up at the medical staffer. “She’s feeling faint, and having problems with her heart.”

“She’s fine,” the staffer confirmed, holding up a scanner with your vital readings. They were embarrassingly perfect—incredibly, perfectly, damnably normal.

You could have died. You literally could have died.

Shouto looked down at you with a little wrinkle on his perfect brow, obviously wondering how you could admit symptoms like that given a truth quirk, only for there to be no physical sign of them. You tried to hold down the truth, but another question from him doomed you.

“But how?” he asked, clearly concerned, cool fingers smoothing over your cheekbone.

“I have an insanely huge crush on you,” you blurted. Then you unleashed a string of colorful swears, flushing so hot you thought you might catch fire.

Those heterochromatic eyes went a little round at the edges.

The medical staffer looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh as she bade a quick farewell. She was out the door before you could catch her sleeve and hold her like a shield against Shouto’s incredibly penetrating stare.

“I’m. Um. You know, sorry and everything,” you added. “I won’t let it interfere with work. I mean, I haven’t, any of the past couple years—fuck, oh my god, I just said that—”

Shouto was watching your mouth like he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of it.

“Say it again,” he said.

You paused, staring at him. “What?”

“Tell me how you’re feeling.”

“My heart feels like it could explode any second, and I feel kind of faint, weirdly weak, and incredibly distracted,” you answered obediently.

“Because of me,” he said, like it was a wonder.

You gave him an annoyed look. Obviously because of him, who the fuck else did he think wielded that combination of attractiveness and straightforward appeal like an S-class quirk of its own?

Shouto choked on a laugh, and you realized with some horror that you’d said all of that out loud. 

Damn the fucking truth quirk.

“I don’t know,” Shouto said, sounding amused. “I think I rather like it. When I find out who is responsible for this, I might have to thank them instead.”

This stopped you short.

He what now?

“I’m sorry, what?”

Something a little like a smirk curled the corner of Shouto’s mouth. “It is generally gratifying to know one’s feelings are returned, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I wouldn’t know—” you started, feeling annoyed with him again. Then you choked when the implication of his words sank in.

Shouto’s fingers slid down to cup your chin, and suddenly it felt like every nerve ending in your body was concentrated there, the touch magnified a thousand-fold into an all-consuming sensation. 

“Would you like me to kiss you?” he asked lightly, looking smug.

“Oh my god yes—” The answer was out of your mouth before he’d even finished the question.

Shouto laughed, and then he was leaning in. You could feel the smile still on his mouth when it met yours. Shouto’s kiss was careful and attentive, but you could sense something deeper beneath, the same kind of restrained sort of passion that underlaid his quirk. Having that kind of controlled intensity turned on you was something you could have never prepared for.

The kiss became deeper and more heated, and Shouto was just easing you backwards again, still pressed firmly to you, when the door opened and his manager blew in.

“This is a fucking office,” she said, stepping over the two of you like you were a grimy puddle in the street. “Now hurry the fuck up, we have KPIs to review. Shouto—don’t think this will derail me from your property damage numbers increasing.”

Shouto huffed into your mouth, slumping against you.

You couldn’t do anything but laugh.

Current event masterlist in pinned!

[reigenomic-moving]

Wayne's statement on the racist caracatures in last nights stream and the makeship plushie

Image ID's under the cut

hey everybody. last night's stream was a weird one. the things that went down when we tried to play Bullet Roulette were not great. it made us as a team realize that we need to put our foot down and make a statement. about last night, and a lot of other things. what you're about to read is not only my words, but those of the entire team.

the first thing i should get out of the way is this: the caricatures that appeared in Bullet Roulette suck, and we're all disappointed that one of our favorite old VR games has that bullshit in it. we all made the fact that we thought it was shitty as clear as we could last night while we were playing. we tried to reset the lobby 3 times to fix the bug that forcibly made us all be that model. it did not work. we tried to keep playing it for a little while and then give it one last try. which, of course, did not work. what took place afterwards is what we'll be talking about here.

the reaction a small group of you had to these events was disappointing, and in some cases, unacceptable. we are not upset with native americans who were uncomfortable with the caricatures, we are upset with those of you who instantly demonized us for not 'turning off the game immediately'. the reason we as the streamers and the mods repeatedly asked everyone to 'move on' is because we acknowledged what we had just experienced in the game was wrong, and condemned it. we expressed how we felt about the models out loud multiple times. while unproblematic media exists, there is a lot of media that has problematic elements in it. it's not great, but that's the way things are. things are not always black & white. the expectation that the moment an unsavory concept is encountered in something on stream that we drop what we're doing and shut off the program is absolutely unreasonable.

if we run into problematic content, do not assume we automatically endorse it just because we did not remove it from the screen immediately. we can still experience it as a whole while acknowledging what's wrong with it. take LISA, for instance. I loved what I played of that game, and I know a large majority of you guys loved those streams too. LISA has problematic shit in it. early on in those streams we encountered a character that was a racist caricature of a black man. we acknowledged that it fucking sucked, and we kept playing. and both the crew and chat were able to continue maturely while acknowledging that the content was problematic.

while this is only somewhat related, i might as well also address the makeship situation, and those of you who came after me for deleting their initial statement. I deleted it because it was bad. that e-mail was an apology from the worker to me, not meant as a public apology. it didn't approach the situation properly. I was scrambling to get something up to address the concerns while i was in the middle of a 24 hour multi day road trip (one whose existence I had to hide for the stream gag), I just took whatever makeship would give me. when I actually had a little bit of time to sit down and read it, and read what some of you had to say about it, I realized that it didn't actually mean anything. I deleted it, and spoke to my handlers at makeship, and informed them about the biggest issue with that shitty anti-centrism plush: what was essentially a masked swastika next to a star of david. if you look up the original designs of that stupid ball, you can find that it actually had a swastika on it, and the creator hid that fact from team members at makeship by changing it in the concept art he shared with them. it might be hard to believe, but their team genuinely did not know about this. and they did not consider why that plushie was as shitty as it was. after I informed them and talked it over, they removed the plushie from their website completely and decided to not work with that creator going forward. their team thanked our campaign for bringing them to the realization that they need to more properly vet the creators they work with and the origins of their designs. what disappointed me in this scenario were those of you who assumed the worst about me just because i had not made a statement about it while i was doing my best behind the scenes to work things out.

we also know that being publicly accessible artists & entertainers comes with a fair amount of vulnerability through exposure, however the amount of invasions of privacy and harassment a lot of us have experienced in the past year is worth taking note of. we are people. what if you woke up to dms from people saying they found your name and your phone number? what if you got a text from a stranger saying they found your information? how would you feel? these are questions you need to ask yourself as a viewer even if you've never gone that far. these are things that have actually happened to us.

being a fan comes with as much responsibility as being a creator; just because you are consuming what we make does not make this a one way relationship where you're invisible. what you do and say is being felt by actual humans, and the information you share or try to get not only affects us but the people we know. it has at times been so invasive and ridiculous that some of us have considered stopping completely. as a fan and a viewer, your responsibility is to respect us as much as you would respect any other human being; putting us up on pedestals to the point where some of us get treated like objects or things is the absolute opposite of respect and we've mentioned this a few times. we will be taking much stronger action on these matters from here on out; please observe how you view us and ask yourself if you'd look at a friend or family member the same way. if you wouldn't, reconsider your relationship with what we make.

some of you hold me and the crew on a pedestal in a way that makes us deeply uncomfortable. this isn't the first time we've experienced something like last night. it has happened on other team member's streams. the hostility we are met with when we encounter something unsavory on stream is ridiculous. after shutting down the game, seeing a few of you in the chat screaming at us, attacking our characters, invalidating all of our values and past deeds as a team over encountering unexpected bigotry in a game and condemning it, not perpetuating it ourselves, is infuriating. to all of us. you do not have the right to harass us over something like this. coming into our DM's and repeating yourselves, accusing us of lying about values and calling us awful people is harassment. it is extremely immature. and it is behavior we no longer want in this community. we are human. we aren't meant to be your perfect social/political pillars.

when these things happen, you know it sucks, we know it sucks, we all know why it sucks, and while we will always point it out when we see it, the expectation of us to derail our show and explain to you why its bad and apologize for it being on the screen is not an expectation we will meet. acknowledge, and move on. a statement does not always need to be made. going forwards, we'll be increasing moderation measures in regards to the harassment of crew/staff and the mitigation of events like these in the future. thank you for understanding.

- All of Radio TV Solutions & The WRTV Mod Team

[chockfullofsecrets]

Critical Role: The Opposite of Cuddling

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins.

Dome cuddles don't quite work out, but the Mighty Nein make do.

Wordcount: 1.8k (it would be short if it wasn’t supposed to be a snippet fic aaa)

A/N: maybe i am just in the mood for cuddly gang tickles. maybe so. 

---

“So,” Jester is proselytizing, brandishing a diagram from her sketchbook into dubious faces, “if we cuddle up around Caduceus just like this it’s going to be super soft and comfy and warm until we get out of this stupid weather! Any questions?”

Caduceus puts his teacup aside and leans down to peer at the sketch. It’s really good, especially the faces. She must have drawn it while watching them sleep last night.

And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins. It feels good to see her happy, tail flicking as she clutches her sketchbook in clear delight - after two days of nonstop freezing rain, even her forceful cheer has been wavering. “It’s nice, sometimes, but not when we’re, you know. Sleeping.”

“So I could tickle you right now and you wouldn’t be, like, really mad at me?” Jester presses. She’s scooting towards him as she asks, practically trembling with excitement. It’s awfully cute.

Well, it’s been a while, but he can’t say he’s not a little eager for the contact. He ignores the looks from the rest of their group and flops back onto his bedroll, wriggling a little to get comfortable. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Um,” Beau says from somewhere behind him, a little strangled. Oh, right.

“We’re not keeping people awake, are we?” he asks, craning his neck to the various edges of the dome people have settled in. “Anyone set on sleeping right now?”

Beau makes a face. "That's not the weird part, Duceus."

“They can help!” Jester chirps, and then she’s cuddled into his side and wiggling tiny tiefling claws above his belly. “Oh, Ca-du-ceus!”

She’s pitching her voice as deep and scary as it can go. It’s not very far. “Yeah?”

“Where’s your very worst tickle spot?”

He laughs. “Telling you that feels like a bad idea.”

“Then I’ll just have to fi-ind it!” She tugs his shirt up with one quick move, and he barely has time to feel the cold before she’s latching onto his sides and burying her entire face into the downy fur on his belly. “Ooh, you’re so soft and warm! I want to cuddle you forever, Caduceus.”

It tickles, but just a little - honestly, he’s more amused by her. “Can’t say I’ve heard that before,” he chuckles, reaching out to poke gently at her side. “You’re not bad yourself.”

She squeaks, pulling her head up just enough to gasp at him. “Oh my gosh, Caduceus, did you just tickle me back? Guys, you have to come help me!”

“Nah, I’m good,” Beau snorts.

Jester lets out a massive sigh and flops back down onto him, and for a pleasant minute or two it’s just her nuzzling into him as he watches raindrops pelt off the amber dome overhead.

Then there’s a rustle, and some clinking, and before he can do anything more than lazily twitch one of his ears in the direction of the sound Yasha’s upside-down face pushes into his field of view.

“Do you mind if I join?” she asks in her quiet way. “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

Jester springs upright, grabbing happily for her hands. “Yes! Join us!”

Caduceus echoes her, snorting out a quiet laugh as Jester regains some of her energy and starts to scribble her way up his sides. He doesn't have any quiet siblings - Yasha reminds him a little more of the mourners, so it’s always nice to see her reach out. He's good at appreciating that sort of thing.

Yasha smiles shyly down at the both of them as she pulls his head into her lap and starts to play with his ears. “These are so soft,” she marvels. “Are you ticklish here?”

His ears have always been one of his siblings’ favorite spots to tease him with, and apparently they haven’t gotten any less sensitive in the last ten years. “Yeah,” he gasps. “Heh - just - hehe - a little bit.”

There's a frustrated groan off to his right. “Okay, I’ll bite.” Footsteps track around to his side, fleet and quiet, and he waits patiently for a flash of blue cloth to cross his gaze. “But only ‘cause ears are a fucking weird spot and I want to see if this works on you.”

Beau crouches by his side and curls her fingers loosely. “I’m gonna punch you,” she warns. “Probably not that hard, but don’t tense up.”

He nods as best as he can while tilting his head to better let Yasha worry her fingernails at the backs of his ears - he’s not sure if he could feel more boneless if he tried, right now.

The heel of her fist strikes him right in the middle of his chest, fingers clutching around something intangible - that something scurries its way down every nerve he has, and he coughs out a startled laugh before he can help himself. “What was that?”

“Payback for growing lichen on me back at your house,” she quips, but her eyes are narrowed in clear concentration. “Okay, ears, ears… wrists? And knees? And - fuck, man, your entire back? Really? Jes, let’s flip him over, this is going to be good.”

Well, that’s unexpected.

“Wait - ha!” Caduceus yelps, squirming as fingers start to pry their way underneath him. “Hold on now-”

He’s bigger than both of them by far, but they’re strong and not above tickling the backs of his ribs until he starts to squeal. "You're so thin, Caduceus!" Jester exclaims, hooking a finger into the tender gap between two bones and wriggling it mercilessly - his back arches entirely without his permission, letting Beau pry him another inch off the ground, and he whines defensively. "We have to feed you more!"

They get as far as rolling him onto his side before Beau loses patience and starts prodding smugly at his spine. “Your ki is pretty shivery around here, Duceus,” she teases. “Trying to hide your worst spots, huh? Bet you thought we weren’t gonna take this seriously.”

Caduceus is too busy laughing to deal with - any of that, really, especially when Jester slings herself over him so she can reach his back too. “I’m - ahaha! aaa! - oh, that tickles!”

As if in direct response to his babbling, a small weight bundles into the back of his knees. He curls up reflexively with a strangled shout - it’s Nott, cuddling up to him with a shivery sigh as an invisible hand starts to pinch at his kneecaps. “You’re right,” she crows to Jester. “He is soft.”

It does feel nice, being buried under this many people and tickled till the marrow of every bone in his body shivers, happy and helpless, and when Fjord finally sits in front of him and presses a questioning hand to his shoulder Caduceus doesn’t resist the impulse to clutch his hands and pull him in closer.

Fjord comes easily, huffing in quiet amusement as Caduceus buries his face in him and Yasha and wriggles like a freshly surfaced earthworm. “You alright there?” he drawls. “You sound like they’re trying to kill you.”

Nott snorts from somewhere near his belly. “We should stop, then, we’ve only got the one cleric.”

“Hey!”

Everything abruptly derails as Jester launches herself towards Nott and, from the sound of it, kicks Beau right in the face - there’s wheezing, and then shouting, and then the telltale sugar-sweet scent of Jester’s healing magic.

Caduceus holds very still. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah," Beau confirms, mangled. He can practically picture Jester frantically squishing her cheeks around as she checks for damage.

A typical tickle fight, as far as the Clays are concerned, just with a different smell - the Wildmother's healing tends more earthy. Even though they’ve stopped tickling, Caduceus can’t help but laugh.

He’s not sure if he imagines Fjord fluttering light fingers along the insides of his wrists as he catches his breath, but by the time he wheezes out one last fit of giggles and rolls himself back over everyone seems to be keeping a respectful distance, if a good deal closer together than they were at the beginning of the evening. “I think that went pretty well,” he says, pleased.

“...so you’re stupid ticklish,” Beau says dryly, scrubbing a bit of dried blood from her lip. “No cuddling Duceus while he’s trying to be unconscious, message received.”

There’s a chorus of agreement from all but one - Caduceus looks around and spots their final member for the first time since they sat down for dinner, nose buried in a book and ears suspiciously red.

He hasn’t moved an inch all night, even to escape the noise, which leaves him only a few feet away from the rest of them. Caduceus gets the feeling he’s about to regret that. “Oh, I’m sure there are those that have it worse,” he grins. “Right, Mr. Caleb?”

Caleb’s gaze snaps up over the edge of his book. “Ja,” he rushes out, strangled. “I mean - nein - of course I am not - I am just trying to read here-”

Jester doesn’t wait for him to dig his grave any deeper. “Oh my gosh, Cay-leb, are you super ticklish too?”

Caleb stuffs his book back into its holster and holds a hand out preventatively, reaching with panicked precision for a strip of leather tied just above his knee with the other. “No, I am not-”

“Oh, no you don’t.” Fjord rocks backward and reaches out with one broad hand, latching onto Caleb's wrist, and Caleb promptly abandons all spellcasting to kick at him like a startled rabbit.

Despite that, he reels Caleb in gently, scooping him into a neat little ball before he heaves him into the middle of their little circle and squarely on top of Caduceus. “I think we owe you a nice, long thank you for this lovely dome, don’t we?”

There’s a moment of silence as Caleb presumably thinks about how easy it would be to kill them all in this enclosed space. “This,” he says, as severely as he can with his feet in the air and hair in his eyes, “is the opposite of cuddling, and if you do not leave me alone then tomorrow night I am going to make all of you sleep in the rain.”

Even the seasoned homebody in Caduceus knows that’s the exact wrong thing to say to a group of damp and grumpy adventurers - if the mood in the dome was mischievous before, it takes a steep dive into outright evil.

Beau cracks her knuckles. “Yeah? Let’s see what you have to say when we tickle you again tomorrow.”

And if Caduceus laughs as Caleb gives one startled owlish blink and then scrambles to hide as much of himself behind Caduceus as possible - well, that’s not from the tickling at all.

[aressss1]

Through Fire and Ice Chapter 9

(Technoblade x Reader)

Chapter 9

< Prev Chapter | Next Chapter >

~~~~~~

You were sitting on the porch staring off into space, your chin resting in your hand. You were thoroughly bored. You couldn’t even read your old books. You didn’t have any chance to grab any of your things, you were thankful you hadn’t gotten a dog or a cat after you had moved into your house. Though you wished you could go back and get some of your belongings. Dream had offered up to help you get through the snow, to get some of the things that you missed. You shook your head when he said that.

 You had no idea what the surface looked like up there, but people had come back with stories about how the snow was as tall as they were. You shuddered at the thought. You loved feeling the sun shine down on you, on days that you would read outside… It was weird to think that you wouldn’t feel that ever again. Depressing thoughts crept up on you, and as you tried pushing those thoughts away, you felt your mood plummet. Just as you let out a sigh, a familiar sight of a red cloak entered your vision, and you felt yourself perk up.

“Techno!” You waved at him. He seemed to be focused on something. Maybe he hadn’t heard you. You shrugged it off as that anyway. Not wanting to sit and sulk any longer, you push yourself to your feet. Your pace quickened the closer you got to Techno. But you didn’t know the area as well as you should have, you tripped on a small piece of stone that jutted up from the ground. You gave a little yelp and watched as the ground came closer and closer. You closed your eyes waiting for impact.

 “What are you doing?” His voice rang through your ears. The impact never came. Opening your eyes, you were mere inches away from the stone ground. His arm had snaked around you, mid fall, saving you once again. “I can’t leave you anywhere without you getting into trouble.” Though the words were meant to tease you, you could hear the grumpiness in his voice. You liked that you were starting to pick up on things you didn’t normally pick up on when he was still new to you.

 “Why are you so grumpy today?” Your eyes narrowed at him, as he set you upright with a huff. “More importantly where were you yesterday? I waited as long as I could for you.” You saw something flash in his eyes, but he quickly looked away.

 “I was mining,” he muttered, “lost track of time.” He kept walking leaving you where you stood. You huff in annoyance.

 “Can I come with you this time?” You asked. Only receiving nothing but a grunt from him. “You know, to make up for lost time?” This felt similar to your past partner, who you begged to be with for any amount of time, only for them to tell you that you were needy and that you couldn’t do anything on your own… You didn’t like that feeling. You knew Techno wasn’t like that. So… Why did it hurt so much?

 He stopped dead in his tracks. His golden eyes turning to study your face. He didn’t say anything, just jerked his head in the direction he was walking in. You took that as permission, and you fell into stride with him as he slowed himself down. You two fell into silence, your stomach twisted and turned with anxiety. You didn’t want to lose Techno as a friend, so why did it feel as if you were losing him?

 “What did I do?” You tried so hard to keep your composure, but Techno heard that crack in your voice… And it pained him.

 “Nothing,” His voice came out with a sigh, “I’ve been thinking,” Oh god… your chest tightened. Those were the words that came before disaster in your life. Your ex used those words on you before leaving you, telling you how useless you really were. Grinding your teeth, you listened to him speak. “No one around here wants me around.” His voice was even, and you were still panicking. “I think I should just pack up and leave, in a few days when Phil doesn’t need me, when the mine is done.”

 “W-why?” Your squeak, making him look you fully in the face from behind his mask.

 “I’m sure you’ve noticed the looks I get around The Burrow.” His hand absentmindedly rested on the handle of the pickaxe hanging off his belt. “I think it would be better for yours and Phil’s image if I just leave.” Your chest was tense, and your anxiety eased a tiny bit but… You didn’t want him to leave…

 “Our image?” You raised your eyebrows. “Techno who the fuck cares about images?” You heard him chuckle.

 “Well, a lot of people do,” you could hear a smile come through his words, “I’m the big scary Blood God, here to kill all of you.” He motions wildly with his arms dramatically leering at you. He makes you laugh. His heart soars at your laughter.

 “You’re not scary,” you catch his hand in the air. Noticing the air shift around you, you look around and you were now in front of a small strip mine sort of hidden away in The Burrow. Your eyes flick back to his hand. “I know you’re not exactly human, but that’s not a bad thing.” Your fingers on your left-hand lace through his, and your right hand was left caressing his arm making its way up behind his skull mask. You lightly touch his down pointed ears, running your fingers over the golden earrings he wore, causing a shudder from him. You giggle. “You have both parts human and… They’re called piglins right?” He nodded his eyes fully entranced by you.

 “I’ve never been to the nether,” you confess. “And while I have never seen a piglin… Never seen how they are… You have shown me nothing but kindness, saved me many times in many ways.” Your hand runs to the back of his neck feeling past scars, lingering there for just a second. “Human’s never showed me any of that.” Your hand drops to his chest where you could feel his heart thrumming below your fingers. “Your heart beats like a human’s, and I bet you don’t love like a human.” He cocks his head at your statement. “I’ve seen your devotion, to Phil. I bet when you find someone or something to love it’s stronger than what a human can handle.” You give him a smile. “If you can love Phil that deeply, like a brother, I-I want to meet him.”

 “You want to meet Phil?” He seemed baffled. Remembering how you requested that he bring Phil and Kristin their rations because you were still scared of Phil. You nodded keeping your eyes down.

 “I don’t care about image, Techno,” You didn’t allow him to derail the topic at hand. “I’m not going to stop you if it’s truly what you want, but… please don’t leave…” There you were begging someone not to leave your life again. You felt pathetic. You felt his hand tip your chin up as tears welled up in your eyes.

 “For you,” he leveled with you, “I’ll stay.” What he really meant was… ‘I’ll follow you to the deepest depths of the earth.’ His hand still intertwined with yours he pulled you to his chest and he gave you a tight hug, his whole body enveloped you and you held on tightly to him. You didn’t feel so alone with him there, and your heart thudded in your chest. You were starting to develop feelings for this hybrid… The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, while he let his jaw rest on the top of your head.

 “You’ve never seen the nether?” He questioned you, and you nodded into his chest, just relishing the feel of his hands rubbing your back.  “I promise I’ll take you there,” You pulled back from him, excitement rising in your chest.

 “Really?” You bounced on your heels, gripping his shirt. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction.

 “Just give me some time to get a set of armor prepared for you.” He stepped away from your excited form.

 “Deal!” You nodded to him. He held the iron door open for you as you both entered the mineshaft, unknowing that certain eyes were watching from a far.

 ~~

 You were in that strip mine almost all day with Techno, and as much as you loved mining and talking with him. You were tired, well… That is… until Techno broke through into a cave of sorts. You had found a second wind.

 “Huh…” He cleared out the stone in front of him. “We found ourselves a mineshaft.” He ducked below low hanging stone and walked through onto wood. “Have you seen one of these?”

 “Can’t say I have…” You shook your head following him into the mineshaft. “I always bought the things I needed; I never really went exploring for things.” You lingered close to him. The two of you walk through the halls of the mineshaft. He had to duck his head to not hit his head on the wood of the support beams keeping the walls and ceiling supported.

 “You know where these places came from?” He craned his neck to look down at you through his mask. When you shook your head, he continued. You felt yourself lean closer into him as you listened to him. The interest on your face, brought a blush to Technoblade’s cheeks not that you could see it from behind the mask.

 “They say in the times of old before any of us walked this earth, the inhabitants of this land, ruled over everything peacefully. This world used to have more people, who were probably just like us. Some say that they had better technology, others would say that their lands were barren and the world, as we knew it, wasn’t like this. Savannahs, deserts, swamps, you name it… They weren’t a thing back then… Or so they say. The only thing that was constant was grass and cobblestone. Some even say there weren’t even any trees in the beginning.” You bite your lip trying to process what he was saying. It was hard to imagine. You heard his chuckle.

 “Things rapidly changed, and the people of this world thrived. Building these mineshafts, desert temples, ocean monuments, and jungle temples. People formed villages, and as time would go on, the land would change so much so that the villagers sometimes would be stuck in their homes buried under dirt, with no way to get out, until someone with the capabilities to help did.” Techno took a second to breathe and to see if you were still listening, and you were wholeheartedly listening to every single word, you practically hung on his arm. “The ocean floor used to be nothing but gravel, and the oceans housed very little fish.”

 “What happened to that world?” You eagerly asked your hand tightening on his arm. You could see a devilish grin spread upon his face.

 “Well, you see…” He turns and slowly backs you up to the stone wall, his eyes flooding black and his irises turning silver, the sight making you shudder. “There’s a legend, that a mighty being named Herobrine walked these lands, wreaking havoc on any who crossed his path. Many saw a face with shining white eyes staring back at them, in mineshafts… Much like this one.” His face was inches away from yours “Hiding around the corners that ended up being dead ends with no place for him to go.” You felt goosebumps rise on your arms at his words. “Making tunnels that weren’t there previously before, using Redstone torches to lead you to your demise.”

 You felt his hot breath on your skin. His closeness was almost too much for you to handle. You were having trouble listening to his words, and to top it off his hand rested on the wall next to your head. You tried not showing how flustered you were.

 “People theorize that he was the one changing the world to his liking. They also theorized that he was the one to wipe everyone out.” Techno’s eyes flash almost in a predatory manner. “Who knows… Maybe he’s… watching us right now.” Before you could react, he lets out a playful roar and picks you up as he spins you in the air and you let out a scream in surprise. His laughter calms you down almost immediately and you give him a playful glare.

 “How dare you Techno.” You grumble out, still in his arms.

 “You make it too easy.” He was still laughing as he set you down onto the ground. Letting you regain your composure.

 “Do you think that’s what really happened?” You ask after a second of thinking over his words.

 “No… I don’t, but I don’t think the people were killed when they disappeared…” He shrugs “People have their stories, but… I found a book, an incredibly old book, and it has more than one author.” You look at him questioningly. “As I told you, the world was barren, and it was mentioned in this book. But as the book fell into different hands, pages were added, and they recorded the changes of the world. The book would find someone else, and it would be passed down. It found me in my travels and once I am at my end in this world, I will leave it for someone else to add more pages.” After a few moments getting back on track he continues.

 “The book described people disappearing and people appearing almost out of thin air, and they claimed they had been in other worlds. I honestly think that whatever happened… People were just moved to a different world. Scattering everyone to different places, and this world was mostly abandoned by the old inhabitants.” He looked down in thought. “But that book also spoke of another possibility. Have you heard the music disk titled ‘11’?”

 “That creepy recording?” You had a copy of it in your old home, you had kept it because it was one of the rarer music disks. It was something that you had found just randomly on the ground one day in your old village. He nodded.

 “That’s the one…” He sighed. “I don’t think that that disk was a fake recording meant to just scare people…” He let his words sink in and you shuddered. “Whatever was chasing the person recording, could very well be the cause of everyone disappearing from this world.” You were having a hard time wrapping your head around it all. “I think that’s where the legend of Herobrine was started.”

 He gave you the time you needed to think about everything, you watch as he mined the nearby materials. The both of you rounded a corner and there sitting in a minecart was a chest. You heard Techno chuckle feeling his hand on the small of your back, he pushes you toward the box.

 “It’s all yours, darlin’,” He felt his breath catch in his throat, and you felt butterflies take flight in your stomach just by hearing the nickname. He definitely didn’t mean to call you that, and it was just a slip of a tongue, and he wasn’t sure if he had offended you with the nickname. Though judging by your red face, maybe you had liked the name. He didn’t know he was just thankful for the mask obscuring his own blush. Clearing his throat, he looks away as if nothing happened. He nudged you toward the chest.

 When you open the chest, your eyes widen. Inside, were a few seeds which were going to come in handy, some bones, and some rails sitting at the bottom of the chest. But what really caught your attention, was an enchanted book, a name tag and a golden apple. You grabbed everything you could and flipped through the enchanted books pages. It was in a language you didn’t know how to speak or write. Looking up at Techno, he takes the book from your hands.

 “Fire Protection III,” He chuckled reading it out for you. “This will help a lot when I make the armor for you, for when I show you the nether.” He beamed handing the book back to you. You gave him a smile at the thought of another adventure with Techno. It was funny, the world was so screwed up, but this hybrid had managed to show you more of it than you ever had seen in your entire life in just a short amount of time. You were excited to see the other things he had in store for you.

 You had even found your first set of diamonds in this mineshaft, Techno insisted that you keep these too as well as the other treasure the two of you had found. By the time you two had found the entrance to the mineshaft you were spent, and you were so happy to be on the way back to Niki’s.

 “I still can’t wait for you to meet Phil,” Techno grinned, and you gave a happy sigh, loving his smile. “There’s a reason he’s the leader of The Burrow, and that’s because he’s like the resident dad. There’s a lot of people who respect him.”

 “Well…” You couldn’t believe you were about to say this. “We could go visit him, now if you want?” There was a small part of you that wanted him to say no, but you knew that wasn’t a possibility with the way he genuinely smiled at you.

 “If that is what you’re comfortable with.” His eyes searched for any doubt in your eyes. Your hand gently reached for his when you nodded.

 “I’m ready.”

 --

 “Schlatt, I need a favor.” Dream sat across from Schlatt in Schlatt’s newly formed office. The sight he saw in front of that mineshaft making his blood boil. He wasn’t worried though he had a plan, and that’s why when he saw you hug Techno, he came straight to Schlatt.

  The construction loud outside the room. Schlatt had many workers working on his arena, and it was impossible to drown the sounds out. Schlatt’s desk sat in front of an angled thick window that gave him the perfect view of the huge arena. The office was the only thing that had been finished out of the whole arena, and it was impressive looking complete with fancy looking potted plants.

 “What can I do for ya bud?” Dream had no idea where Schlatt had come across a cigar or if he was saving them but Schlatt let the lit cigar hang from his mouth, taking drags off of it when he saw fit.

 “I want to fight Technoblade.” The words hung the air, and they brought a smile to Schlatt’s face. The plans already working through the gears in his mind.

 “I see.” Schlatt chewed on the end of the cigar. “What are we thinking? You want it to be a fair fight?” Puff of smoke emitted from his lips as he spoke. He laced his hands together setting his elbows on his desk so he could rest his chin on his interlaced fingers.

 “Whatever gives the best show.” Dream smiled from behind his mask. “The details can be worked out in the wash. I just need you… To get Technoblade to agree to a fight with me.”

 “I’ll see what I can do.”

 --

 You waited outside Phil’s house apprehensively. Your jaw started to hurt; it was then when you noticed that you were clenching your teeth. You rubbed your jaw hoping to find relief for the pain. Techno had gone in to explain the situation to Phil. You let your eyes wander; this was the area of the residential district you wanted to have your house in. In fact, the wall you had looked at before with Dream, had been across the way on the other side of the cavern.

 When you looked over at the wall once again… You could see Dream and his friend, Sapnap working, they were mining out the area you had wanted to claim. When you remembered Dream wanted to help you build your house, the thought made you smile. Dream was always so nice to you. You weren’t sure if they had seen you, but you leaned over the railing, opening your mouth to say hi to Dream. But you were quickly interrupted by the door opening behind you.

 Well… At least Dream was able to distract you from the anxiety that now pooled in your stomach for at least a little bit. You stepped away from the railing and turn back to Phil’s door. Techno’s eyes searched your face.

 “Ready?” He held his hand out for you to take. “You can leave at any time. Phil knows not to push you.” You swallowed down your courage and nodded, slipping your hand into his. He led you into the house. The house was normal, nicely built and decorated. It was weird associating this sort of house with someone who had almost killed you. But Phil wasn’t a bad guy, or so everyone told you. Techno led you through the main room into the kitchen which led into a dining room.

 There sitting at the head of the table was Phil. He was just a normal guy, but that still hadn’t helped your anxiety. You still had nightmares about his blade piercing your flesh. You needed to get over this, for yourself… Not for anyone else, not for Techno… You.

 “Hello.” Phil drew out the word, looking up from below a green and white bucket hat sitting on his head. He stood his eyes locked on you, and you felt your grip tighten on Techno. Techno rubbed circles over your hand in a comforting manner. Phil waited for you with patient and kind eyes, he noted the way you clung to Techno, and how Techno responded. He couldn’t help the warm smile emerging on his lips.

 “I-I uh…” You sputtered out, your cheeks reddening. Why was this so hard to do? The words were in your mind, but your mouth turned them into jelly. You took a second letting out a calming breath. “Techno says nothing but nice things about you.” You started off. Phil motioned for all of you to sit, and you do tentatively.

 “I can say the same about you.” He was careful with his words. “First off… I just want to say, I’m sorry for everything.” His eyes lower to the table, his hat obscuring his face. “If there is one thing that is important to me it’s my family.” He started, his eyes rising to meet yours. “I have Kristin, my boys and Techno.” He motioned to Techno, who had been watching your reactions. “And when I found you in Techno’s house… I thought the worst. I thought you had taken a part of my family. And when we spoke… I- well… I wasn’t going to let you take me away from Kristin and my boys. I was overzealous, and I am willing to do anything in my power to make it up to you.”

 You let a shaky breath out. Processing this information. You couldn’t blame him, but that still didn’t take the trauma away from you. Feeling Techno squeeze your hand as if to encourage you, you looked up into his eyes. Yeah… Just in the few weeks that you had known Techno you could say you would kill for him. You thought back on what he did to Phil when he had found the both of you in his house. You were pretty sure, if it wasn’t Phil Techno would have already killed him.

 “I’m sorry too.” Your voice was barely just above a whisper, “I forgive you Philza,” and you did. All of that could have been avoided, had you two just sat and talked it out, though that could be said for a lot of situations like that. You didn’t have any family in your life, and you couldn’t blame someone for protecting their own family. For your own peace of mind, you forgave him.

 “How’s the shoulder? Any pain?” He leaned forward his eyes scanning over your shoulder, worry lining his features. You shook your head.

 “I have some good nurses.” Squeezing Techno’s hand, you chuckled.

 “Techno does know a lot about keeping someone alive.” Phil added in, memories that were mysteries to you flashing behind his eyes. “I’d love to have you over for dinner with the family sometime so you can get acquainted with my little family. I know they have been curious about you too.” Feeling a smile pull at your lips you nodded.

 “I’d like that.”

[burnedbyshoto]

disconnected

— Kirishima answers a phone call that wasn’t intended for him, and of course he can’t help but be interested in the beautiful voice and soul that angrily began to rant about their day. —

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pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, lil angst (lol sorry), cursing

word count: 7,786

a/n: this was a stupid thought that slammed into my mind, and here it is!!!! now I have a calc midterm tomorrow that I did not look at because why think about double derivatives and integrals when I can think about kirishima????

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It was eleven at night when Kirishima strolled out of his bathroom, ready to go to bed. After a rather long day, he was looking forward to sleeping and not having to wake up at the crack of dawn. Tomorrow for the very first day in a very long time, he wouldn’t have to work at the local coffee shop he was hired at. It was a job he had acquired with his good friends on the promise of it being a manageable job on top of his college work, and of course, the pretty girls who would go in.

From what Kirishima had gathered from the four months working there was that there were a lot of pretty girls who entered the coffee shop — most of which were focused on the angry ash-blond friend of his — and that it was so unnecessarily stressful. 

Some days he was up at four in the morning to open at six for the morning regulars, then he’d go to his afternoon classes, only to return for a two-hour shift in the middle of rush hour, and would leave while trying to keep the peace between a certain ash-blond and two new hires. To say the least, it was hell on Earth at times. 

Regardless, he didn’t have to open tomorrow morning, so he was content! On top of not having classes tomorrow, Kirishima was excited to sleep in.

Falling on his bed with a massive sigh, Kirishima snuggled his face into his pillow, rejoicing in the way that the laundry detergent still clung to the fabric and relaxed.

Sleep sounded so—

RIIING.

RIIING.

Kirishima’s eyes slammed open, his head snapping to see his illuminating phone on his nightstand. He had no idea who the hell was calling this late. There was no way it was Bakugou; he was asleep already at this point. Sero had broken his phone two days ago during a failed stunt and wouldn’t be able to get a new phone until the weekend. Kaminari only called him when there was a bug in his apartment, but he was currently closing… maybe it was Mina? Kirishima shook his head, no, he hadn’t spoken to Mina in ages.

Grabbing the phone, he didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and answered.

“Hello—?”

“Oh my god, I am fucking raging! You can’t believe what kind of fuckery I just went through tonight!” a voice shouted into the receiver, and Kirishima flinched a bit at the loud and angry voice. “So you know how I wasn’t supposed to work today, right? Because my coworker had sex with her ex-boyfriend like an idiot, and I owed her for covering my shift three months ago, but anyways irrelevant. I’m taking the order of this one group of adults. That’s right, A-D-U-L-T-S, adults! They are completely staring at my tits the entire time, and not my face. At first, I thought maybe you know, I had spilled something on my tits earlier, no. No! NOTHING! So I call them out on it, and they say something along the lines of ‘you could be a camgirl with that body, but like not in a sex sort of way’ I’m sorry, WHAT?! Like yes, continue sexually harassing your server who is a college student and therefore has no will to live, so will gladly beat your Gucci belt wearing ass into a bloody pulp! What they gonna do? Sue me? I have one dollar to my name, fucking take it, I don’t care, I’ll find another dollar in the sewer after I beat their asses up!

“But you know, I’m saying all this in my head because I’m broke and can’t afford to be fired from this place because the tips are hella good here. But they continue saying dumb shit, and then the obvious ringleader — I know he was the ring leader because his beard looks like it was the first picture printed on a new ink cartridge and his manspread was ten times wider than all of theirs — have the fucking audacity to slip his number while only tipping TEN DOLLARS ON A TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR TAB!!!!” Kirishima doesn’t know what to say, his jaw on his mattress, breathing having stopped while your voice wheezes from your lack of air. He makes a croaking noise, wanting to speak up and apologize for what had happened and for not being the person you thought it was, but it seemed that you weren’t over. “AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING KAREN!!! ‘I didn’t like the way you looked at me so I won’t be tipping you tonight!’ yeah, well maybe if you didn’t order enough FOOD TO FEED AN ARMY AND KEPT SENDING IT BACK I WOULDN’T BE LOOKING AT YOU LIKE THAT!!!”

There was a pause, and Kirishima, while feeling entirely sorry for you, finally spoke, “Fuck, that sounds... horrible.”

“Damn right, it was horri— wait, who the fuck is this?” your voice squeaked, and Kirishima almost started to laugh at the difference in the tone your voice took. Once so loud, angry, and entirely ‘fuck the world,’ had changed into a meek and embarrassed voice.

“Um, this is Kirishima. Kirishima Eijiriou?”

“This isn’t Hagakure?” you moaned into the phone. “03-9082-2395? That isn’t this number?”

“2-2-9-5,” Kirishima repeated his own number back, a small smile overcame his features knowing that you had accidentally misdialed a number.

“Fuck my fat fingers,” you cursed, and Kirishima chuckled lightly at the mutterings that were poorly picked up. “Well, um, I am so sorry for calling you and dumping that unnecessary bullshit on you—”

“No, no,” Kirishima interrupted, rolling onto his back, staring up at the dimly lit ceiling. “It’s totally okay! You seem less stressed out now too, and it really isn’t a big deal!”

“You are very kind, Kirishima Eijirou,” you laugh, and Kirishima can’t help but imagine a figure curled up on a couch.

“Thank you!” he beamed, a hand threading through his hair, “um, but what happened with the Karen? And why were you typing in your friend’s phone number?”

“Do you really want to know?” you ask after a fit of bubbling laughter; it seemed that you were not at all convinced.

“I work at a coffee shop for one, so I totally understand the Karen situations! Secondly, all my contacts are on my phone, I don’t have a single one of them memorized!”

“Okay, okay, okay, I do not have this number memorized! Hagakure is my roommate, and she has a new number that she left posted on our fridge and because Mr. Sprinkles left in the middle of my rant, I called her to finish it!” you explain in what Kirishima could only consider being childlike glee. “And a coffee shop? Oof, Kirishima, you might have it just as bad as I do then.”

“Ever had a boiling cup of coffee thrown back at your face?”

“Shut. Up.”

“I wish I was joking!”

“The nastiest thing I’ve ever been put through is a highschool couple breaking up in the middle of the restaurant, and a bowl of cold soup and milkshake were thrown at me! And I had to work for another five hours!”

“That… that beat mine by a long shot…”

“Okay, but like, it was cold. If you hadn’t dodged, you’d be dead!”

As time passed Kirishima soon found himself sitting up on his bed, his back pressed against the headboard, a lamp on so that he wasn’t in the dark while he talked to you. Somehow conversation flowed so perfectly between the two of you, so smoothly, so naturally. You had extremely compelling energy and a pretty bright one at that as well. Your stories were exceedingly extravagant, most derailing into hundreds of side stories before making its way back to the main point, but he didn’t mind. Though there was no proof, he imagined that your arms were swinging around while you talked, a bright smile on your face, and lights shining in your eyes.

“So anyway, I had to beg my professor to let me remake this exam because, for some reason, my brain would not switch back to Japanese. I almost cried because I was only speaking in English, and I think because I am an amazing person, my professor let me do that!” you laughed after explaining an issue with being fluent in a third language. 

“My English skills deteriorated after leaving high school, I’m rather jealous you can speak three languages,” Kirishima admitted, his head falling back onto the cold wall. “My Japanese professors probably think my Japanese sucks too.”

“Just because I am amazing and can speak three languages doesn’t mean I’m perfect at it,” you laugh, obviously trying to make him feel better about himself.

“Mm, I don’t know, you’re painting yourself as a pretty perfect person,” Kirishima sighed. “Or you have an enormous ego…”

A loud scoff came from your end of the phone, and Kirishima waited for your verbal retaliation but was met with a moment of silence.

“Oh! Welcome home!” you called out, and Kirishima quickly put together that your roommate Hagakure was home. “Yeah, no, I’m talking to someone right now! ...who? Oh, um, a friend! ...no, I tried to call you when I got home but misdialed your number and got him instead! NO! You’re not going to get a pic of him! Wait, it’s what time?!”

Kirishima’s eyes fell over to his alarm clock and saw in the dim red light that it was 04:57. 

His jaw dropped.

“Well, um, Kirishima, it seems that our call is going to end,” you whisper into the phone, and Kirishima lets out a breathless chuckle, sudden sleepiness creeping into him. “It was pretty fun chatting with you stranger, thanks for putting up with that ranting in the beginning! Most normal people wouldn’t have picked up or let me rant like that!”

“It’s no problem,” Kirishima smiled softly, his fingers stretching out to turn off the light. He licked his lips, five hours on a phone call with an absolute stranger, and he didn’t have your name, and better yet, a part of him wanted to ask if it was okay to be friends. You were magnetic to him, and he wanted to know more about you, even if this was this weird modern and accidental penpal thing. “I didn’t have anything to do today, and you were fun talking to!”

“Aww, thank you!”

Silence.

Ask, he thought, his teeth biting down onto his bottom lip. Ask!

“Um, I know this is weird and all, but do you think I can keep your number?” you ask, your voice almost timid and meek.

Kirishima’s heart rate spikes at those words, he very much wanted that, but his mouth had a mind of its own it seemed. “Why?”

“Wha— well, I just had a lot of fun talking with you! It was fun, and I don’t know, you seem like a pretty chill guy!”

His fingers gripped his phone, a warmth spreading through him when he relaxed under his sheets. “On one condition.”

“Oof, if you’re going to ask to decide between Crimson Riot or All Might you’re going to be—”

“No, no,” Kirishima lets out a snort, his shoulders rolling while he imagines the curious look coming over your face. “I would like to know your name?”

“My name? Why would you want— HOLY SHIT! I never gave you—” there was a loud noise on your end of the call, and Kirishima heard you apologize profusely before returning in a hushed whisper. “Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t give you my name?!”

“No,” he laughed loudly, one that was pushed from his belly, spreading warmth through his body. “You never did, but I did learn every name of every person you’ve ever talked with!”

“God,” you groan, a small whine emitted from you. “I’m an idiot, I’m so sorry! Y/l/n y/n at your service!”

Y/l/n y/n, that’s a pretty name, he thought while imagining just what you could look like. 

“Well, goodnight y/l/n, I’ll save your number, and we’ll see if you still would like to be friends when you wake up?”

There was a small noise of agreement, “I’m like a drug, Kirishima, you’ll be back for more.”

“Okay, okay, goodnight…”

“Goodnight, sweet dreams!”

“Sweet dreams.”

Kirishima listened to the line ending, and he pulled his phone away from his ear and no sooner did he do that, a text came in at what he believed to be your number:

don’t let the bed bugs bite! 🕷😱‼️

He snorted and replied back before eventually letting sleep consume him.

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“You’ll never believe what just happened!” you squealed into the phone, and Kirishima laughed while wiping his sweaty face with a white towel. You had called thirty minutes earlier than usual and had caught him leaving the gym.

It had been a bit over two months since your misdial, and things with you had been going pretty well for strangers. The two of you didn’t talk every day, most weeks going by with just a single call, but they were always delightful talks. You worked most nights, and he most mornings, the two of you discovered. So most calls took place the night he didn’t have to work the following morning. 

“You got a customer who complained that there was too much salt in their meal that had no salt in it?” he asked, pulling a random story of something that had happened at his own coffee shop today. You let out an amused snort, a clear indicator that he was wrong, but found his guess to be amusing at the very least.

“No, but oddly enough, someone did ask for an insane amount of salt on their food and hated it!” you sang, clearly happy with how you found their distress to be funny.

“Close enough!” Kirishima laughed, but he was straight out of guesses, so he stopped. “So, what happened?”

“I tried coffee for the first time ever today!” you squealed loudly, and Kirishima cheered happily.

Through these two months, there were some hard facts that Kirishima had learned about you. One, you were living in the same city as him. Two, you worked at a semi-classy restaurant. Three, you had two roommates named Hagakure and Jirou. Four, you were twenty, just like him. And five, you were a child who only drank hot chocolate and tea because you were afraid of coffee.

~

“Caffeine is a drug you know,” you had snarkily teased him one night when he said he was going to make a cup of coffee. “Nice to know I’m friends with an addict!”

“If drugs were as amazing as coffee, I’d be an addict!”

“You know…” your voice whispered, your voice suddenly taking a guilty approach. “I’ve never actually tried coffee…”

“WHAT?!”

~

“Wow, look at you, becoming an old woman in front of my own eyes!” Kirishima chuckled, starting his walk back home. 

His fingers pushed the headphones to be more secure over his ears, hopeful that there it wouldn’t pick up too heavily on the wind of the outside world. 

“To be honest, it wasn’t that good, your taste buds are just tarnished from drinking that bitter crap all day!” you huff and he half imagined you turning your nose up.

“Okay, okay,” Kirishima laughed, a warmth flooding in his chest at the sounds of your muffled laughter. A visible indicator that you were also amused at this. “I hated coffee until I started working at a coffee shop, and that was because I needed to know my shit.”

“Wow, you only got that job while not being a coffee addict?” you tease. “Seems like a fake barista to me.”

“It’s pretty hard to believe, I know,” Kirishima stated his tone one of fake melancholy. “I’m so sorry for deceiving you, and honestly, I am a shit barista.”

“Aww, don’t say that!” you exclaim, and it seems like you’re ready to fight him. “I bet you put all those fancy TikTok baristas to shame!”

“TikTok?” he laughed, his pace speeding up just a bit so he would get home faster. “Wow, I am honored you think that!”

The light conversation continued, nothing too deep or too intense, just chatter about today's shifts and classes. Eventually, Kirishima made it back into his apartment complex, and stumbled into his room, collapsing onto his bed. 

“Can I ask something?” you ask suddenly, and Kirishima lets out a small hum.

“Yeah, of course, what’s up?”

“What do you look like?” you asked softly as if you were curled up in bed, seconds from letting sleep consume you. “I haven’t come up with a mental image that I like, and well, I want some hints.”

“I can just send you a picture of me,” Kirishima smiles, his eyes closing. “It would be much easier than me trying to explain to you what I look like.”

“No!” you disagree, and there's a long sigh from your end of the phone. “I’m not ready for that kind of information yet, Kiri. I just… I can’t accept a pic of you without sending one back, and I’m not mentally ready for that yet…”

“Don’t tell me the big fat Gucci bougie you is shy?!” Kirishima exclaimed, humor drowning his words as he referenced you to something you had called yourself one drunken night weeks ago.

“Not shy!” you bemoan, your voice muffling out at the end of it. “I’m more scared you’ll find me ugly and ghost me…”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Kirishima interjected, his voice stable and confident.

“Which part?”

“Both parts.”

“How do you know that? You don’t know what I look like…”

“...call it… Kirishima’s intuition,” Kirishima slowly stated, his eyebrows furrowing. “I find your voice and your personality to be attractive on their own, so I would never ghost you. And of course, appearance isn’t anything; plus, there’s no way you’re not gorgeous.”

He says these words with honest truth, and a part of him fears he overstepped and made you wildly uncomfortable with the amount of silence that is heard from your end of the line. But finally, as Kirishima is ready to apologize to you, a soft exhale is heard.

“You’re a dork,” you whisper, and a soft grin spreads on his own face. “Anyways, I’ll ask questions, you answer them first, and then I’ll do the same.”

“Sounds good!”

“Hair color?”

“Black, but I dye it red.”

“Mm, edgy teenager, I like it, and also knew that because you complained about your stained sheets! Eye color?”

“Red.”

“Oh, am I sensing a theme? How tall are you?”

“I’m… a bit over six feet?”

The list went on, most questions becoming more of a joke than anything else, but he was glad that you were asking these things because now he had an insight on how you looked too. You had told him your eye color, your hair color, how tall you were, and a whole bunch of trivial things he would have never thought to ask about to begin with.

“Okay, last question!” you cheered, happy to have finally included Kirishima into your inside joke that revolved around your eyebrows. “Do you have any distinguishing features?”

“Well, I don’t actually...” Kirishima admitted, his fingers brushing against the scar on his eye, and then it hit him. That was one! “Oh, wait—” CRASH. A loud crashing noise emitted from your side of the call.

“Shit, hold on!” you curse and Kirishima can only remain silent while he hears you yelling in the background, it was too far away for him to quite understand, but it was enough to know that it didn’t sound okay. 

Kirishima sat on his side of the call, the phone pressed to his ear while he tried to strip his gross and sweaty shirt from his body. His teeth bit into his lip, his canine pressing into the permanent indent of his lip, an indicator of how anxious he used to be. 

“Fuck, Kiri?” your voice suddenly snapped back onto the call, your tone frantic and quick.

“Everything okay?”

“No, Hagakure showed up drunker than… a drunken drunk, I don’t know expressions, ANYWAYS I know tonight is our unofficial official call night, but anyway I can get a rain check?”

There was guilt that swallowed your voice, a pang of guilt that made Kirishima warm a bit because it showed that you valued these calls, just like him. 

“Of course, I don’t have class or work Friday morning this time around, so Thursday night?”

“That works perfectly,” you sigh, gratitude. “I owe you, text you later if you don’t fall asleep! Goodnight, sweet dreams, love ya!”

Kirishima couldn’t repeat the whole statement before you hastily hung up, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face the entire time he showered. The shower didn’t take too long, and by the time he emerged from the shower, towel around his neck and his waist, he had a text message. 

sero - hey bro!!! i can’t pick up my morning shift tomorrow i know you have tonight to speak w y/n but todoroki and bakugou can’t cover it!

Kirishima sighed, he definitely didn’t have anything tomorrow anyways, he could manage with going in for an extra shift to help a friend.

kirishima - yeah sure what time?

sero - youre a life saver T-T im covering 8 am - 3 pm!!!

Kirishima sent a simple affirmative emoji before finishing up his nightly routine. 

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Kirishima looked at his apron while he was assembling himself in the backroom. The aroma of roasted coffee beans and pastries was almost pungent in the back, and he was eager to get out of there. As per employee regulations, he was to wear a black apron, a name tag, and something to hold his hair because it was a bit too long, for that, he wore a white bandana around his forehead.

“Wait, where’s my name tag?” Kirishima called out, his eyebrows furrowing when he turned out to Kaminari, who was currently in the back with him.

The blond froze and scratched the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly, “About that…”

So Kirishima was in the front of the store with a shiny silver name tag that read Hanta Sero. Because Kaminari was the best barista they had on hand currently, he was busy teaching Midoriya — their newest hire — around the bar. For now, Todoroki was nowhere to be found, and Kirishima was handling the cash register. 

Today was a slow morning, most people had their day off today, so morning coffee rush wasn’t in existence. Sure, there were a few outliers, but it was never chaotic. 

The gentle bell of the front door rang, and Kirishima automatically called out.

“Welcome!”

You had walked into the store, your eyebrows furrowed while you prayed that this was the coffee shop your roommates had been raving about. You’d never been here before, but it was the closest coffee shop available that wasn’t something generic and basic like Starbucks. You looked up from your phone at the voice, a thank you automatically being repeated while you neared the register.

You froze when you saw the red hair and the red eyes of the handsome man at the register. A careless thought entered your mind, Kirishima said he had red hair and red eyes… but he said he didn’t work today… 

A kind smile sat on his face, his eyes taking you in, waiting for you to approach him. 

This couldn’t be him, right?

The last time you had assumed a redhead working in a coffee shop was Kirishima, it had ended embarrassingly. 

“Um, hi,” you drawled out, your eyes reading the board to figure out your own order. 

Kirishima couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, you were exactly what you had described to him, but he wouldn’t ask until he was sure. He would ask you for your name after collecting your order for either tea or hot chocolate, and if it was you, he’d reveal that he was Kirishima. But he didn’t want to be wrong; he didn’t want to pin any other person as you, after all.

“I’ve never been here before,” you confess, your hand rubbing the back of your head. You were transfixed on the caramel macchiato that was spelled in the prettiest font, though, plus Hagakure promised all their coffee was good. 

“Oh, well, welcome! If you need any recommendations or have anything else to order, I can put those through while you look?”

His smile was kind, and you felt blood rush to your face, something you desperately tried to fight off by thinking of anything you didn’t like. 

“Oh! I do have two orders, though! There’s going to be one chai tea latte with three pumps of vanilla, and a lavender tea with a splash of oat milk.”

Kirishima nodded his head, “Will this be for here, or to go?”

His voice sounds so similar to Kirishima, you hoped, studying his face. While you answered that it was to go, you saw a distinctive scar on his right eye. Kirishima had said he didn’t have any distinguishing features… 

“What are your favorites here?” you ask, your eyebrows scrunched in confusion, your thoughts very evident in your face.

Kirishima couldn’t help but find hope bubbling up in his chest, there was always the possibility that you two lived in the same city-based off the same area code, and with what seemed like an incomplete knowledge in coffee, maybe…

Kirishima rambled off about the different seasonal drinks right now, his recommendations leaning towards the teas and non-coffee things primarily after his general and basic list. You seemed to take every word out of his lip like gospel, agreeing and nodding when appropriate, and his lips stretched into a grin when you bluntly exclaimed your ill knowledge of this all.

“To be honest, I only step into coffee shops to take a cute pic and then leave,” you laugh, pressing your hands against your lips and screaming a bit in your throat. 

Kirishima laughed, more confidence blooming through his body over the hope that this was you. It had to be you.

Your eyes then found the nametag on his apron, and like a sinking ship, you read Sero.

Not Kirishima.

“And for you?”

“I’ll have the caramel macchiato,” you decide, a grateful smile on your face while he looks down and writes the orders.

“A name?”

“Penny,” came your automatic response.

You never used your real name in coffee shops.

Kirishima suppressed the way that his mouth wanted to drop into a sad smile, and like two rejected teenagers, the money was exchanged. Before Kirishima could attempt to calm his disappointed soul, you walked out of the shop with the coffees and tea in hand.

“What was that about?” Kaminari asked, his eyes wide. “There was so much flirting and then poof, gone from both sides. Come on, dude, it’s my job to fail at flirting, not yours!”

Kirishima laughed, ignoring the way that his three friends looked at him with concern and curiosity. “Nothing, I just… the customer looked like how y/n described herself to be…”

“Oh… sorry, bro.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Kirishima waved it off, and without so much as another slap on the back, he went back to work.

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“What the hell are you doing?”

Kirishima looked up from his phone, his fingers mid-type pausing only for a millisecond before continuing to text blindly. 

“Oh, hey, Bakubro, what’s up?” he cheerfully spoke, ignorant to the controller in the ash blond’s hand. 

“It’s your turn, shitty hair, pay fucking attention!” Bakugou barked, tossing the plastic controller into his chest. Kirishima grunted, the feeling of the plastic slamming against his chest was less than ideal, but the smile on his face didn’t waiver while he offered his best friend the controller back.

“It’s all good, you can have another turn, I can handle being out this round!”

“Kiri, that’s six rounds in a row,” Kaminari spoke up, his face in a teasing smirk.

It was then that Kirishima’s face turned approximately the same color as his hair. “I didn’t—”

“Awww, Eijirou has a little crush on y/n!!!” Kaminari sang, resulting in agreeing with noises from Sero and Midoriya. Only Bakugou and Todoroki remained silent. 

Kirishima only laughed, he knew he couldn’t deny that fact, but he wouldn’t say it aloud — especially because Bakugou seemed to hate you. It had been now four months since the two of you had ‘meet,’ and while he still had no face to imagine you with, things had taken a slightly flirty route between the two of you.

Calls were much more frequent, nearly all nights the two of you would speak, even if it was just a measly summary of the day and a ‘sweet dreams’ and a ‘goodnight’ and an ‘I love you.’ It always happened nowadays.

Tonight was an exception, of course, because he was out with his friends, and apparently, you were doing the same. 

“You can’t be fucking serious?” Bakugou spat, a laugh spluttering from his lips, but it was cold and held no humor. “You caught feelings for a person who’s too much of a fucking coward to reveal a picture of themselves?”

“That’s not fair; besides, it's not about physical appearance!” Kirishima waved him off, pressing send to his text message.

have fun tonight! text me when u get back home if ur able to!

“Just how naive can you be?” Bakugou sneered, his hand taking the phone from Kirishima's side. “Six months of talking every week, texting every day, and this y/n still hasn’t trusted you with a single picture of them? I know you said that she told you how she looked, and all that shit, but let's be real, it’s so easy to lie about how you look like when you don’t have to provide a picture. What y/n say? Big tits? Big ass? Small waist? What about her did she say that made you so fucking insane over her?”

“N-Nothing! We didn’t talk about our body types!” Kirishima’s eyes widened significantly, the once comfortable atmosphere of the room wholly gone while Bakugou’s vermillion eyes seethed silently. “None of that matters! I told you the truth! I like y/n because of her personality, she’s manly, and I like that a lot! It’s not about her appearance, how pessimistic can you get, bro! I promise you, she’s trustworthy!”

“Is she really?”

“What?”

“How can you be in love with someone who you trust entirely, but doesn’t trust you at all? You said that y/n won’t show you a picture of herself because she’s scared you won’t like her? How is that trusting you? How is that fucking fair? To me, that sounds like some fucked up catfishing thing.”

“We talk on the phone, dude,” Kirishima said softly, but those thoughts were invading his mind. Did you not trust him? He knew he wasn’t the best option in the world, and he had accepted that in time and by improving on what he thought he was best at. But did you, after all this time, really not believe him when he claimed nothing would change when he saw you? “Catfishes don’t even do that… besides, the first call was by accident, why would someone—”

“Dunce face, what’s that one fucking idiotic thing you do for fun?” Bakugou snapped at the blond, not even bothering to look at him.

“Well, there’s a lot of things I do that you—” Kaminari laughed awkwardly, his smile tight and awkward.

“Kaminari.”

“I call… random numbers… pretending to have a big issue to see how they react…” he admitted, and Kirishima’s stomach clenched.

“And?” Bakugou snarled.

“I pretend to be a girl…”

“Don’t be stupid, Bakugou, this is more than one time!” Kirishima groaned.

“It's a voice that you can’t attach a face to, who knows if this is a person you can trust! People with voice acting exist in this world, how the hell do you possibly know that they’re not one of them?! Be fucking real, if ‘y/n’ trusted you, if that’s even their name, they wouldn’t be hiding their face from you.”

Kirishima didn’t say anything else, the acid piling in his throat was too much for him to even look at his friend. The night didn’t really recover from that conversation, and Kirishima eventually found himself back home.

He sat at the edge of his bed, his phone in his hands, waiting for a message from you. He couldn’t sleep, and even though he had work tomorrow morning, he found himself wide awake, unable to let sleep consume.

It was three in the morning when you sent a text, his eyes still wide awake, and with shaky fingers, he read the message.

i just got home can you believe that i drank three cups of wine and didnt get tipsy??????? thats on being a raging alcoholic ;D

Kirishima wanted to laugh; on god, he would’ve found this beyond delightful to read because he knew you couldn’t handle your liquor, but that bitter stream of acid destroyed the humor in his thoughts.

Were you really telling the truth? Was this all a lie?

He didn’t text back; instead, his finger pressed the call button, and he held his breath.

“Helloooo?” a voice picked up on the second ring, but it wasn’t your voice. It was a voice he didn’t recognize at all.

‘Voice actors,’ Bakugou’s voice reentered his thoughts, and the phone in his hand nearly dropped.

“Sorry, hello?” the voice he knew as you finally came through, and Kirishima let out a shallow breath, one so small, so mediocrely weak it burned his lungs.

“Do you trust me?” he asked softly, maybe too softly because you asked with a strained laugh for him to repeat his words. “Do you trust me, y/n?”

There was a pause on your end, too long a beat for Kirishima to be comfortable with.

“Of course I trust you, Ei, are you okay?”

“Do you actually trust me, or are you lying?”

“Woah there,” you said a small laugh on your tongue, but there was only confusion in it, not your contagious sound. “Did you drink? It’s a work night, you never do that!”

“Answer the question,” Kirishima spoke with finality, his shoulders tense, tears pushing past his eyes while he struggled to maintain composure.

Prove Bakugou wrong, please, prove Bakugou wrong.

“Of course I do,” you spoke with genuine clarity, but still, Kirishima was rattled, his confidence blown. “What’s going on?”

Did he want to confess to his insecurities? Was it worth it? His breathing became frantic, almost as if he was going insane just thinking about where his thoughts were. But Kirishima was never good at hiding things, no he was as open as a book.

“Why won’t you let me see you… we’ve been friends for six months, and the only thing I know about you is your eye color and your hair color. It’s so insanely generic that I can’t… I can’t do this.”

“What are you trying to say?” you ask, your voice small, almost a whisper of all the energy one could have at this time of night.

“I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t trust me, who’s using me,” he spoke with perfect clarity that hid away his insecurities about this all. “For all, I know nothing about you is real, that this is all just some ploy to hurt me in the end. Six months and you can’t trust me with a single meet up or even a picture? I just… has this been a game for you, y/n? Or is that even your name.”

The call ended and a single message held on his screen, this call has been dropped, but you didn’t seem to want to call him back.

Kirishima didn’t sleep a wink that night, his words coming back to bite him in the throat each and every time he thought he was close enough to sleep. Insecurities riled up in him, consuming him entirely.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

He tried to call back.

For fourteen straight days, Kirishima attempted to call you back.

Every time he called you, he would always hang up before he could take back his words. But each call, after he had prematurely hung up, he would recant his mean words to the unresponsive phone. He did trust you, he was weak, he was unmanly to assume those things. You could take, however long it took to finally trust him again because he would wait for you no matter what. He apologized again and again until the very last one he broke down into silent tears, a single message of ‘I hope one day you’ll forgive me’ hung weakly on his voice and put his phone away. 

It was sixteen days since he had spoken those cruel words to you, and in that time, he didn’t regret finally talking about his ill feelings towards wanting to reveal yourself to him. But he did regret the way it came out; instead of it being a deep and personal conversation, it came out as bitter and one-sided. The two of you were disconnected, and he felt empty.

But he couldn’t focus on it, not today, after all, it was Bakugou’s birthday, and everyone was gathering at the local fancy restaurant to celebrate. 

Kirishima dressed up presentable, wearing a navy blue button-up, and dark slacks. He walked towards the entrance of the restaurant where Kaminari, Sero, and Midoriya were eagerly leading the group of them into the building. Typically Kirishima would’ve been with them in terms of spirit, but he felt energyless at the moment.

With the moon high in the sky, Kirishima stilled when Bakugou called out his name.

He stared at his best friend, the ash blond’s lip curled into a sneer while he huffed, “Listen, Kirishima, I’m sorry for what I said that night.”

“What? Oh, no, it’s okay, Bakugou!” Kirishima laughed, his hand slapping to the back of his neck. “You weren’t wrong.”

“I never said I was wrong,” Bakugou grunted, his eyes locked on Kirishima’s while he shoved his hands into his pockets. Kirishima stilled, unsure as to where this would be leading. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I know that Mina hurt you badly, and you’re too big of an idiot to not see when things arise. Maybe y/n is genuine, but if you aren’t fucking honest with her about your own feelings about how she’s so secretive, it’s not going to work.”

Kirishima smiled softly, a weak shrug moving through him, “I know, thanks, man.”

Bakugou nodded, and without a word, he continued on ahead where Midoriya was yelling at them to hurry up and come so they could be seated. 

Kirishima sighed, rolling out his shoulders before following afterward.

Kirishima followed after the hostess, smiling at her gratefully when she sat the group into their own private room and left. 

“Bakugou’s paying, right?” Kaminari stage whispered to Midoriya while staring at the prices on the menu.

“Eat shit, dunce face, learn how to save up your fucking money the next time you offer to come to this fucking place!” Bakugou roared, hearing the whisper.

“I’ll be covering the bill,” Todoroki informed with a smirk on his face. Kirishima laughed, looking at the prices and indeed agreeing with Kaminari’s statement. Having a wealthy friend was very convenient at times like this.

“Hi, welcome to Eiko, I’ll be your waitress today!” a voice chirped from the entrance of the room, and Kirishima froze, he recognized that voice and face.

It was the person he had mistaken for you all those months ago.

By the smile on your face, it seemed that you recognized them all too.

“And what is your name,” Sero winked, his eyes captivated by you.

“Oh, haha, sorry, my name is y/n,” you smiled, moving the menus you held in your hand to show the silver nametag on your uniform.

“Oh, like Kirishima’s y/n,” Kaminari laughed, pointing a finger at Kirishima, not at all being as quiet as he probably thought himself to be. But it seemed that he wasn’t the only one who thought that because while Kirishima was staring at your face, embarrassingly taking you in, you followed Kaminari’s finger.

Your sight sat on the redhead in the middle whose name was Kirishima, and you straightened up in what felt like panic. 

“You’re Kirishima?” you asked quietly, your finger grasping the menus so tightly, your knuckles turned white. “Kirishima Eijirou.”

“The one and only,” Kaminari voiced for him, his arm thrown over Kirishima’s shoulder while he nodded like a scholar. “And why do you ask?”

“Shut the fuck up, dunce face.” Bakugou hissed.

Kirishima continued to stare at you, a million words running through his head, yet not a single one being translated on his tongue. You were beautiful.

What should he say?

What could he say?

Your lips pursed, and you shook your head, a smile of disbelief spreading across your face, “Unbelievable.”

“Y/n—”

“Be quiet,” you snap, your tone angry, but your eyes beyond hurt. “What can I get you guys to drink?”

Dinner wasn’t exactly a pleasant time, you came in and left faster than anyone could blink, and yet none of their drinks went empty, nor did they really have a problem. Much quicker than Kirishima would’ve liked, they were done and were soon piling out of the restaurant after Kirishima decided to leave a very, very generous tip.

“I’m going to stay until I can speak to y/n,” Kirishima said, waving off his friends who were expecting him to follow. But he couldn’t, not when he felt like the world's biggest ass for what he did to you.

“Good luck,” they all wished him well before eventually leaving, knowing better than to stick around.

So there at the outside bench, Kirishima waited.

Two hours he sat there until you emerged from the front door, your hair was no longer put back, you held your apron in your hand, and your purse on your shoulder.

“Y/n!” he called out, his feet no longer cemented into place; he strode after you.

You didn’t seem to pick up the pace, nor did you slow down. You were focused on your car that sat at the edge of the parking lot, and you ignored his calls.

It wasn’t until his hand touched your shoulder, and he appeared before you did Kirishima freeze again. Angry hot tears slid down your face, your face screwed up, your shoulders stiff.

“What do you want, Kirishima?” you spat, but there was only exhaustion in your voice, nothing bitter, nothing at all what Kirishima deserved from you.

“I want to apologize,” Kirishima whispered, his hands struggling to reach out and wipe your tears away. You were crying because of him, he did this to you. “I was a dick, I was… beyond unmanly to you, and I’m so sorry! I just let Bakugou get into my head, and I’ve never been a secure person because, well, I’m just… fuck, I don’t even know, but all I know is that you didn’t deserve this. And I like you so much, but I didn’t — I don’t know what to do?!”

Your eyes stared up at him, they were bright with tears, wounded beyond anything Kirishima could hope to fix.

“That night, you said if I didn’t trust you, but I did trust you! I’ve always trusted you—” your finger jabbed his chest— “but it was you who didn’t trust me! I get that it’s hard to not have a picture of someone you care about after a long length of time, but we were always fine for a while! It was going to happen, but while I trusted you, I didn’t trust myself, okay?! I couldn’t trust myself to see that if you were so much more handsome than me that I couldn’t be confident enough to let myself be friends with you! I constantly fuck up relationships when I have crushes on people because… I don’t know, I just do! But you were someone with no risk and the highest risk, and I wanted to be sure in my own feelings before giving you a picture of me! But… fuck, Kirishima, you didn’t trust me!”

Kirishima’s throat tightened, the tears on your face a guilty reminder that this was because of him. But how could he fix this?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his hands grabbing onto your arms just above the elbow, and his head hung by your forehead, not quite touching you, but just enough that his spiked hair teased the atoms between you. You were taller than he expected, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t deal with, no, not at all. “You’re right, I didn’t trust you, and you didn’t deserve that. I don’t think there’s anything that I can say, or do for that matter, to change your mind, and I’m sorry. I just panicked because who gets into this type of situation, how do I tell my phone friend that I have feelings for her? I was weak, and I am so fucking pathetic, and I just want to make things better. If you’ll let me be your friend again…”

He slowly looked back up at you, and you were frozen in your place, tears falling down your face still.

“I don’t think we can be friends,” you confessed, and Kirishima’s heart broke in two, his hands dropping from your arms in his embarrassment and humiliation.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry still, um… maybe I’ll see you again?” Kirishima smiled despite it all, he kept smiling despite the crack in his chest and his soul.

“You will,” you murmured, and before Kirishima could blink, your fists wrapped in his collar, and you brought him down for an ardent kiss that he was not quick to respond to. It took three seconds for him to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in, kissing you again and again and again.

It didn’t seem to matter to either one of you that you were both now kissing without a care in the world in the middle of a parking lot, because you both had your emotions exposed to the other, and you didn’t want to be friends. At least not when the man who held your heart confessed that you held his in yours. 

The two of you weren’t truly disconnected, it was just a little lost moment in your call.