#its so easy to do this. and im working with a very small space too.

[snekdood]

i both love and hate that i keep finding different moths in my house. why are they here? i dont want them to get caught on the sticky traps i put out for the flies. but also, very fun to see so many different varieties and knowing my garden probably plays a role somehow.

[jerrysghostwriter]

All His

request for @blackcherrywhiskey

Sorry it took so long and sorry it is so long lol, but I hope you all enjoy because I certainly enjoyed writing it

Nsfw/mdni

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Arriving at the party, a welcoming blur of writhing bodies, liquor that burns its way down your throat and enough music to drown your emotions in, you find yourself eager to separate from your boyfriend, not even him really , just the emotions hanging in the air.

it had been four days since the argument, you rarely bickered let alone argued on this scale, it had been playing in your mind over and over

You walk into your shared office, room dimly lit, finding vessel scribbling on a note pad as he sat at his keyboard, you could hear the process of him jotting something down, playing a few notes then getting frustrated and ripping the paper away, a pile of wadded up paper sitting beneath him

“I made you some tea.. I figured you might want a break my love?” You knew the new album was hard on him, it all was, so much change in his life in such a short time, you know he is grateful but he has always been a perfectionist, so much harder on himself than need be, his very worst critic.

“Thanks just give me 10 more minutes, its almost there” he said not even bothering to look at you when speaking , drawn into that space in his mind you cannot reach.

“Ves you said that two hours ago…you shouldnt overwork yourself, I worry” worry was an understatement, you know he cant help it and sometimes he needs someone to pull him out but its not an easy task, though you will do it everytime for him

“I just need to finish this song, you know how important this is , I cant let people down… th- they have given me so much” he said finally turning to you voice dropping to a whisper at the last words

“I know love, But they wouldnt want this for you, you have barely eaten, slept or even left this very room vessel. You need to rest” you spoke with a finality in your voice, trying to be stern, he turned towards you , though his hands stopped shaking in that jittery way they seemed to when he was over working himself, you could see the moment he had become angry, such a rare thing yet so recognizable, the sudden hardness to his soft features, the furious glint in his eye.

“Just please, let me finish this, I do this for us! I cant just stop working so much has to be done, I dont have the luxury of just turning my brain off! “ he snapped at you, nearly shouting, you flinched at the octave his voice had reached, never once in your relationship has he spoken to you with such anger behind his words

“Ves please.. Im trying to help” your voice came out weak, gentle yet pained, the heavy weight settling in my chest as I watched him run himself into the ground, Its never been this bad, this intense.

At my tone he lets out a harsh breath, seeming to register the hurt his words caused gaining his control back he lets his shoulders drop and eyes soften when he speaks again “i-im sorry...ill come to bed”

You both went to bed that night with nothing more than whispered ‘I love yous’ not even holding one another as you went to sleep

To anyone else this may seem so small, but to you it was worrying, vessel had never once snapped at you, never raised his voice out of anger, never even caught an attitude with you. Maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe it was your presence but since that night you have both been distant, seemingly miles away in the same small flat.

Shaking the thoughts away from your mind you come back to the present, you and vessel had just sat down at the table with his band mates, it was off in the corner but close enough to the bar to easily get drinks and it wasnt too packed to make your way to the dance floor, truly you were excited for the night out, maybe its what you both needed, atleast you hoped so.

The guys were already tipsy and goofing off as you joined in with their banter and conversation, you hadnt met them all that long ago but you clicked immediately and it seemed to make Ves happy that you got along with his friends. Looking to your side , you catch sight of vessel staring into his drink, speaking when spoken too but still quite reserved. II looked at you and silently made a face as if to ask ‘whats his problem?’ But truly all you could do was give him an apologetic smile and slight shrug of your shoulders

Later into the night after a few too many drinks and many ridiculous stories shared with the guys you managed to forget the foreboding feeling of unspoken feelings between you and vessel, he seemed to loosen up better too after being around his friends but only so much.

As the others delved off into their own conversations and the dancefloor became crowded III held out his hand to you

“Come dance with me!” He nearly shouted as if he wasnt only a table across from you. you hesitated for a heartbeat, but Vessel had never minded before, the music was good, and your body wanted to move. So you took III’s hand and let him lead you into the center of the crowd.

The dance wasn’t sultry. It wasn’t even close. III was purposely being stupid by

twisting his lanky body like a baby giraffe, making you laugh until you were beat red, At one point, he leaned in, mouth close to your ear, and shouted, “Guy behind you’s dancing like a walrus having a seizure.” Nodding his head over your shoulder.

You cackled and threw your head back in a full body laugh, not caring for how loud you were , but then, out of instinct or maybe habit you flicked your eyes up.. and froze. Vessel, still sitting in the corner booth but he seemed so alert, posture tense and the waves of anger coming off of him were nearly visible, as if his body was buzzing with the energy, the way his hand was wrapped to tightly around his drink, his jaw clenched, the slight tick in it showing the storm brewing beneath his rigid exterior.

Never having seen him look this way, look this angry, certainly not with his eyes fixed on you, that feeling came back, that feeling of pure anxiety, knowing something was about to happen but not what , how, or even why.

As soon as the song ended you weaved your way back towards the table, the change in your mood clear, the frantic energy seeming to suddenly leave your body as you thought over every thing that could possibly go wrong, what he could possibly be mad abo-

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand wrapping around your wrist, startling you and clearing your mind, the hold not rough nor gentle but claiming, possessive…looking down at the offending hand then up to the body it was attached to you found the eyes of your boyfriend staring into you, somehow seeming darkened, burning with rage. He yanked you towards him, breath brushing the shell of your ear.

“Its time to go.” His voice came out dark and deep, still with the smoothness he always carried but with much darker intent behind it.

You blinked, slightly breathless and furrowed your brows, looking up at him with a lost expression “ what? Why?.. Ves whats wrong?” You asked truly concerned and confused

You got no answer, just the weight of his stare, seeming to burn through you, He didnt let go of your wrist but guided you through the bar and out the doors, pulling you behind him as you slightly stumbled, struggling to match his much longer stride, the cold air hitting your skin bringing a shock and sobering you up quickly.

You tugged in his hand as you walked in the direction of your home “Vessel.. Talk to me, Whats going on?” Your voice coming out gentle , unsure, never having seen him in this state.

He stopped walking abruptly, nearly bringing you face first with his back and turned to you, his expression framed with shadows, backlit by the street lights, seemingly more calm but with a careful intensity, too controlled.

“ we are going home.” Thats all he said, tone cold , and uncaring at the moment. He turned right back around and kept walking, not stopping until you were standing in your living room, door shut and locked behind you, still utterly confused as to what is happening. You round on him your frustration flaring , “You’re not saying anything Vessel, But you are acting like I’ve done something to horribly wrong”

“ Im acting like a man who’s watching the woman he feels he can barely hold onto light up for someone else!” He shouted , taking a deep breath, as if trying to regain his composure “Forgive me if it turns my stomach” he said with a much calmer tone but just as upset

“I wasn’t flirting Vessel.. I was trying to keep my mind off of how distant you have been, after the other day it feels like we are miles and miles apart” you said exasperated, hurt he would ever think such a thing , even more pained by the anger between you too, the emotion thick in your voice.

In one step Vessel was no longer across from you but directly in front of you , swiping tears of your cheeks you hadn’t even noticed fall, a haunted expression on his face right before he smashed his lips onto yours pushing you back against the apartment door resulting in a dull thud as you were trapped by his towering frame, pinning you between the hard wood and his toned body, the kiss is hot, possessive, passionate.. despite all the emotions running through you, immediately you feel the heat pool in your stomach at the way his tongue slips into your mouth, drinking you in as if he’s a man starved for your taste, your hands find their place around his neck and wound tightly in his hair as he hefts you up, hands holding tightly to the underside of your thighs , your legs wrapping around his waist

He breaks the kiss as you take a breath, nipping at your cheek and jaw before moving to your ear “you’re mine” he growled with through ragged breaths “no matter what we go through, you are mine.” His words , not a question but a decree that draws a low whimper out of you as his teeth graze just below your ear, moving down to kiss from ear to collar bone, slowly moving across the room

You are thrown onto the couch, bouncing lightly. Eyes wide as he pounces on you once again, his hands trail down your sides, roaming your body as he continues his kisses, down your throat, over your collar bone and across the curve of your breasts, kissing down the exposed skin of your low cut top, he pulls back just enough to see your expression, lips slightly parted and breaths coming short, his own eyes reflecting the same raw , unfiltered desire as your very own

Removing your shirt as if the item offended him he paid special attention to your chest, releasing you from your bra and taking one plush mound into his mouth, biting down roughly while rolling the opposite nipple between his fingers, you let out a loud moan at his actions and he responds with a low groan “such a beautiful girl for me” with particularly harsh pinch to your nipple causing you to call out he rasps out “my beautiful girl” he says voice thick with desire as he continues down the expanse of your body, removing your jeans once reaching your waistline, pulling them down slowly and running his hands over your legs before spreading them, looming above you , staring, caressing your smooth skin as if you are something precious he must treat with reverence.

His breath ghosts over the bare skin of your pubic bone as he bends down, taking a small bite of your thigh, causing more filthy, needy sounds to leave your mouth

“Vessel please.. please” you say with a breathy tone, not even sure what exactly you are asking for

“Ive got you darling” he says against your thigh right before his mouth is on you, his tongue moving with precision like you are a goddess to be worshiped, moving slowly, deliberately. Drawing shakey moans and whimpers from you as he goes, every flick of his tongue, suck on your clit and wanton moan he pulls from you is a claim he is staking, a message carved into your very being

You are his. All of you. Always.

When the heat of his mouth against you begins to be too much and you tangle your hands in his hair, holding him there as you writhe against him , he wraps his arms around your waist keeping you still as he devours you like a man starving, as if he would die without your taste on his tongue, every time his name leaves your mouth like a plea it seems to renew his fervor, His mouth is relentless, tongue sliding through your folds , sucking your clit into his mouth just hard enough to make your hips jerk up into him, You try to close your thighs, to ease the pressure building, but his grip is iron tight. One arm leaves your waist snaking around your leg, pressing your thigh flat to the couch, holding you open, exposed, exactly how he wants you.

You moan loud, ragged and raw as he groans into you, the vibration sending a shock through you.

“Louder,” he rasps between licks, voice dark and low. “ Let me hear what i do to you, let me hear the proof that you’re mine”

He flattens his tongue and runs it up as he shoves two long slender fingers into you, curling just right to have you seeing stars, your back arches up off the couch, hand fisting in his hair, his mouth and fingers work in tandem as your moans get higher in pitch, your thighs shake under his weight and tears spill from the corner of your eyes as you fall over the edge, shattering into a million pieces with a loud moan, nearly screaming his name as you come, his fingers still moving slowly, fucking you through your orgasm as he looms above, watching you fall apart

You are barely recovered from your high when he lifts you up, gently turning you around to placing your hands on the back of the couch and bending you at the waist, the fabric a biting contrast to the heat radiating from behind you as his body presses in , his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise , you feel him line up, the hard tip of his cock dragging between your already sensitive soaked folds, teasing you.

He presses his chest to your back , ragged breathe coming sharp near your ear

“ you dont get to light up like that for other people, not when you cry like this for me” as if to punctuate his words he slams into your entrance as he finishes his sentence, immediately pulling out and pushing back in with a punishing thrust, pulling a strangled gasp from you , he picks up a pace thats hard and fast, the angle he has you at hitting the perfect spot every time, every groan that leaves his mouth, every plea that tumbles from your lips and every thrust is a mark , a brand.

His hand slides from your hip to your hair as he pulls you up , licking up your neck and groaning broken sentences of praises to you

“Such a perfect girl for me “ he moans into your neck “ my. Perfect. Girl.” He moans punctuating every word with a roll of his hips

“ who do you belong to love?” He grits out “I want to hear you say it”

“ you- fuckkk… vessel you, i belong to you” you manage to spit out, a jumbled mess but it seems to satisfy him

You could feel a second orgasm quickly approaching his name falling from lips like a prayer begging for release "vessel... p-please please let me come" your voice comes out like a broken record "then cum for me show me I'm the only one to make u feel this way, that you belong to me, only me" At his words you felt the band pop in your lower stomach causing waves of pleasure to fill you as you ride out your orgasm

He continues his punishing rhythm almost overstimulating you however after a few more thrusts his pace falters and he lets out a long groan, filling you with his cum before collapsing onto the couch, bringing you down with him.

Bodies slicked in sweat and burning hot you both move to cuddle onto the couch, looking up at him with your legs thrown over his hips and your head on his chest

“Ves.. Im sorry” you say after a moment, not quite sure how to feel or how to talk about it, he startles a bit but then pushes your hair away from your face as he speaks looking into your eyes rubbing soothing circles on your lower back

“No I’m sorry love, I think my fears about pushing you away after the other night manifested from my own self loathing to jealousy, Im truly sorry for getting angry with you like that when you have done nothing wrong” he said solemnly , then after a beat his expression changed “though make no mistake, you belong to me love”

[lovegalor333]

lord please save her for me

paige bueckers x fem oc

story info • chapter one

hi bbys! thank you for the love on chapter one, part of me wishes i never started this lmao maybe its my ocd but i hate it already but im gonna keep going but i think ill just stick to one shots once im finished with this 🤓

chapter two:

this is why leni didn’t drink often. the pounding head, dry throat, intense nausea and violent shakes were not worth it. the girl had decided that her day was going to consist of rotting on the couch. she was already wrapped in her fluffiest blanket and had netflix playing in the background. riley had left a few moments ago to go to work and leni was glad of it. she felt guilty about kissing paige last night but not guilty enough to stop fantasising about it.

paige clouded her dreams last night. coming to leni in her sleep like some sort of devine sign. she dreamed of what life was like before when paige was a constant in her life. she woke up in bed alone and cold and questioning everything.

it took leni a long time to even look at another girl after paige. but when riley asked her to go for coffee one day all leni could see was her blonde hair and light eyes. if she couldn’t have paige, she would settle for riley and that’s what she did. riley was a nice girl and treated leni well but she would never be paige and deep down, leni knew that all she was doing was filling a void.

there was short knock at lenis apartment door and she considered not answering it because she was too comfortable but she imagined it would be riley, having forgotten something or the other. wrapping the blanket around herself like a cape, she trudged to the front door and opened it without looking through the peep hole.

“paige?” leni was caught off guard seeing the basketball player at her door. hair tied into a low messy bun, grey beanie pulled over her head. she was wearing what paige always wore, sweats and a uconn huskies tee. the silver cross chain that leni was oh so familiar with, hung delicately around her neck. but something leni wasn’t familiar with was the rectangle, clear framed glasses that were perched on the bridge of paiges nose. they were new and it made leni feel something she couldn’t quite place. sadness because it showed change in paiges life that leni had no idea about? attraction because the girl in front of her looked hot as hell with her new accessory? whatever it was, leni had been thinking about it for too long and not heard what paige had said.

“so…” paige trailed off waiting for an answer to her question that had fallen on deaf ears. “sorry- what did you say? actually, what are you doing here? how do you know where i live?” leni asks a series of questions as reality hits and she realises what is going on. paige is at her apartment.

PAIGE is at HER APARTMENT.

“i said can i come in?” paige repeats herself for lenis benefit but she doesn’t wait for an answer before stepping inside. paige looks around lenis apartment, taking in the foreign view. she notices small accents that make it obvious this is where leni lives. the photobooth pictures tacked to the wall, the string lights adorning the window frame, the copious amounts of potted plants dotted around, the place was leni all over.

leni looked different from last night, obviously, but that didn’t bother paige. she always thought the tanned skin girl looked pretty in her natural state. tossled curls, makeup free skin, comfy clothes. lenis beauty had no limit and paige wished she had told her that more often.

“i didn’t actually say yes.” leni mumbles but closes the front door anyway. “how do you know where i live?” after the fallout from her and paige, leni applied to transfer accommodation and her request was granted. in her head, a new space signified a fresh start. somewhere paige hadn’t infiltrated…until this very moment. “it wasn’t easy. money was involved.” paige tells her with a nod of her head. “you paid someone to tell you where i live? that’s the kind of thing that gets someone branded as a creep.” leni says starting to feel awkward, stood in the entrance way, still wrapped in her blanket, curly hair a mess from the night before and her embarrassingly juvenile bunny slippers on her feet.

“i thought it was romantic.” leni rolls her eyes, “paige, please. i can’t have a repeat of last night. i can’t go over all this again. last night was a mistake. we were both drunk and i meant what i said. we need to go back to not knowing each other. it’s-” lenis words were rushed and messy and her heart pounded as she spoke. her body was having an adverse reaction to what she was saying. morally last night was a mistake but for someone who always lead with her heart, it wasn’t.

“i ended it with camilla.” what?

“what?” lenis brain felt like it was turning to mush. from the hangover mainly but also because of what paige had just said.

“i ended it with-“ paige begins to repeat herself but leni cuts her off.

“yeah. i heard what you said. but why would you do that paige?”

“because of you len. for you.” leni shook her head which only intensified her headache, “paige you make me laugh. not because you’re comedically funny but because you’re insane funny. you broke up with your girlfriend for me?”

“yes i broke up with her because of you. not that it matters, but we’ve only been together a few weeks. it was never going to work out. me and her, we didn’t fit. not the way you and I fit, len.” paige gestured between the them and leni understood because she felt the same about riley. both girls were searching for each other in different people. it was an impossible task because to paige no one could compare to leni and to leni no one could compare to paige.

“why now paige? why after all this time?” leni mutters, vlice soft and sweet.

“last night. seeing you. speaking to you. kissing you. i know that all means something. and you think i didn’t try? you blocked my number and my instagram and my snapchat and my tiktok, you even blocked my student email for goodness sake! real mature by the way. you moved apartments. you did everything you could to avoid me. i had given up hope and then last night…”

“last night i was drunk! do you really hate me so much that you can’t stand to see me happy? you just have to throw a spanner in the works?”

“hate? HATE?! leni you are so far off it’s ridiculous. and are you happy? are you really? because you’re doing all this shit that isn’t you. going to parties, getting drunk, you don’t have your nails done and you took your nose piercing out.” leni almost always had her nails done, the most elaborate sets too and her nose piercing was a part of her personality at this point so of course paige noticed when both were absent.

“just because i’ve changed doesn’t mean im not happy.” leni scoffed, taking steps further into the apartment. the close proximity of her and paige was beginning to get to her. she could smell her cologne, vanilla and woody. it was nostalgic.

“don’t give me that bullshit, leni. i know you more than you’d like to admit. tell me you’re genuinely happy. just say the words and i’ll let go. i’ll let you go.” paige had matched lenis steps and was just as close to her, if not closer than she was when they were by the door.

like last night, leni couldn’t say it. leni couldn’t tell paige she was happy because she wasn’t. she was comfortable. she had settled for riley. it was secure and consistent and she was content but she wasn’t happy.

lenis silence only encouraged paiges actions. paige knew if she was happy she would say it- hell, she would scream it. leni was a scorpio and a true one at that. she loved passionately and intensely and she wanted the whole world to know. if she really loved riley and was really happy, paige would have to accept that but that just wasn’t the case.

paiges movements were calculated. soft and gentle, a stark comparison to lenis rushed and needy ones last night. she cupped the shorter girls face, taking a moment to study her perfect features without the the influence of alcohol. her eyes were such a deep shade of brown, almost black. paige truly believed leni could move mountains with a single blink. her lips were naturally plump, with an exaggerated cupids bow that made them so enticing paige felt dread just at the thought of never having them pressed against her own again. her brows were carved into the most precise arches and when she glanced up at paige her lashes were long enough to reach her brow bone. to paige, leni had the type of beauty that the greeks would have carved into marble.

paige traced over lenis lips with her thumb and lenis eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, “paige…don’t.” she breathed out but she didn’t do anything to stop paige leaning down and kissing her. she didn’t pull away, she didn’t refuse to open her mouth to allow paiges tongue to slid in, in fact, she moved her own tongue in accordance. she moved her head to the side to allow paige a better angle. she dropped her blanket and let paige to guide her backwards by her waist, not breaking the kiss. and when her legs hit the back of the couch and paige laid her down, she opened her legs just enough for paige to insert herself inbetween them.

when paige reached for the waistband of lenis pyjama shorts she made a point of looking in her eyes, waiting for the go ahead. leni nodded, in a haze of need and yearning for the girl leaning over her, everything else disappeared. riley. the hurt paige had caused. the months of healing. it all washed away in a wave of pure love. lust. love? lust.

“say what you want, len.” paige needed to hear words.

“fuck me, paige...please.”

thank u for reading baddies! as always let me know if u wanna be added to the tag list 💋

tag list: @unadulteratedcyclepaper @heart4caitlin @jadasogay @avvwritesstufff @bueckersp

story info • chapter one

[fairycosmos]

u can ignore this if u want but i feel like i just need to tell someone and ur my favorite girl on this website and i have no friends rn. i’m 21 yrs old and i have a lot of rlly deep seated issues, including daddy issues. my dad was never really happy with me, i was scared of him, he hit me, etc etc. i’m also very lonely and it eats at me a lot. anyways i started seeking out older men (like double my age) after i got on dating apps about a year ago. i’ve come to realize it’s because i’m looking for a father figure in them. or at the very least someone who fills a similar role. back in november i started seeing this guy. he’s 43. i cut it short by the end of the month because he was too sexually forward and im very sexually and romantically inexperienced so i wasn’t into it and thought i couldn’t be the girlfriend he wanted. a couple days ago he messages me again asking what i’m up to. and saying he wants to give it a go again, and that he’ll take things slow this time. i’m very skeptical of him, and worried he just sees me as a body, but i want to give it a go anyway. i think i’m just emotionally attached to idea of us working romantically because he’d give me a reason to get out of the house and more importantly he’s the first man to give me romantic/sexual attention that i reciprocated. he was the first guy i ever went on a date with. lol. i know i probably shouldn’t meet him again but i’m going to. :/ i’m so mentally fragile rn i feel like he’s gonna win me over as soon as i see him lol

hi hi angel im so sorry ur going through this, i can tell how much inner turmoil its causing in you and honestly i understand <3 i really feel for you, and i want to start by saying thank you for trusting me with something so raw and vulnerable. it takes so much courage to even put these feelings into words, and the fact that you're aware enough to say you probably shouldn’t meet him again already shows that deep down, you know what’s best for you. that kind of self-awareness is powerful, even when it feels small or buried under everything else. it makes complete sense that you're looking for something to hold on to when you feel lonely, hurt, and unsure, especially when someone offers attention that feels warm, validating, or safe even if it isn’t truly those things.

the thing is, looking for that kind of love in older men, especially ones who show interest when you’re in a vulnerable state, can be a really endless and painful cycle. it’s not your fault at all. when we grow up not receiving the love or safety we needed, we look for it wherever we can, and sometimes the attention of an older man feels like it might fill that gap. but it won’t, and it never really can. those wounds deserve to be healed in spaces that offer genuine care, not places where power is uneven or where your vulnerability can be used against you. i know that’s easy to say and hard to live. it takes time, distance, and sometimes years of unlearning to feel the truth of it even when you already know it in your head. and it’s completely okay if it takes your mind a while to really digest and accept this too.

i really hope you’re able to talk this through with a therapist or even just someone you trust, because speaking it out loud saying this is happening and i don’t know what to do can be the beginning of breaking the pattern. and if it helps, try imagining if it were a friend telling you this exact story. i’m sure you’d instantly question the intentions of a forty three year old man messaging someone your age again, knowing your history and how hurt you’ve been. you deserve that same protective instinct for yourself, even when it feels impossible. i know this can feel like a softer kind of self-destruction, like maybe it's not that bad, but it is still hurting you. and that matters. you matter. please try to put your own safety and well-being first, even if that means saying no to something that feels good in the moment. that kind of care for yourself is something you’re absolutely worthy of, even when it doesn't feel like it.

i’m twenty four now and even in just the last couple of years i’ve started feeling my brain actually shift regarding this sort of thing. things that used to feel so important just don’t anymore. that kind of attention, the kind that once made me feel seen or wanted, now feels empty because there’s no depth to it, no real love or growth. it’s okay if it takes time for that change to happen in you too. there’s nio deadline and no shame in still being in the middle of it. you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. i’m always here if you ever need to talk or vent and please please try to keep yourself safe first. you have the power to interrupt these patterns. sending so so much love your way for real, i really mean it when i say im here for you and i get it!! x

[fruityumbrella]

mwah thank you bree @strawhattery for tagging me in the 20 Qs for fic writers 🥰

how many works do you have on ao3?

11 so far!

what's your total ao3 word count?

161,145 whoa

what are your top five fics by kudos?

piece by quiet piece

bruise (running in circles)

stuck in your throat

empty spaces

sea grain

what fandoms do you write for?

at the moment just one piece, but ive written for mdzs, and have a bunch of ideas/scenes for given too

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yesssss always, its my fave thing to do! i love hearing what parts of my fic resonated with people, what it made them feel or think about, and which lines were memorable. its so validating as a writer but its moreso just so fun to connect and yap with people about the characters and stories that i love!

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ha i dont think i have a single angsty ending and i dont think i ever would honestly �� im just a big softy i need a happy ending too badly, but lets say 'fics with the most Potential for future angst' and that would probably be the things you dont see, thanks to the uncertainty around sanji's germa awakening

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

theyre all happy but i think empty spaces and stuck in your throat have the sappiest endings (the former ends on a love declaration and the latter is just sooo cheesy sappy stupid i love it so much)

do you get hate on fics?

the only time ive gotten straight up Hate is when someone who hates jiang cheng told me how much they hated jiang cheng on my jiang cheng fic, like damn dude dont you have anything better to do??

speaking of stuck in your throat though lmao that fic has gotten a lot of...contentious comments? of people not really getting the subtext of zoros pov and telling me how much they disliked his character entirely

do you write smut?

almost exclusively atp 🫡 which is insane to me considering that when i wrote piece by quiet piece, i felt so awkward and clumsy even writing a kiss scene

do you write crossovers?

nah it doesnt really interest me

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

have you ever had a fic translated?

also no

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

id love to but its too intimidating to me lmao

what's your all time favourite ship?

(guy whos memory is fucked voice) zosan forever

what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well all of them. i have SO MANY wips, not to mention the rough ideas list too 😭 the one least likely to get finished would def be my marineford au bc its very involved and very heavy which are both difficult for me, and it just requires a LOT of attention unfortch...though it could be soooo good 😔

what are your writing strengths?

i think im quite good at shaping feeling and giving emotions a physicality, as well as settling into a character voice that is distinguishable and distinct in fics with alternating povs

what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, excess. too much description, too many adjectives, sentences that run on too long, writing minutely altered versions of scenes and not being able to just let go of them and choose one to move forward with...i also strangely feel like dialogue used to be a strength of mine, but ive somehow run out? like i used up all my good banter and dialogue and now im recycling too much 😭

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

id love to be able to incorporate a character's non-english language but i dont trust translation site accuracy enough to be confident in including it in smth i write yknow. that being said, i do want to write some small phrases for sanji in a modern au wip, and hopefully i recall enough basics of french to make it not seem clunky and totally wrong. another reason id love to use another language for dialogue is ao3 has a bunch of cool little options to make including translations really fun and easy and id love to try em out

first fandom you wrote for?

first one i wrote for but didnt publish was unfortunately the boy wizard books, and then i didnt write anything for ten years until i got a dnd oc lmao

favourite fic you've ever written?

oh man....thats so difficult theyre all my babies 😭 but okay i think bruise, for the writing process, it was really exploratory for me and i wrote a lot of content and in ways which were really new for me, and it was just a lot of fun to figure it out!

mwah TWO this was so fun and im gonna tag the few writer buddies i have whom i think havent been tagged yet, as well as anyone else who sees this and wants to share!! @rowdyknives @daerigo @braimin @ghost-maya

[asher-agere]

Hi!!! Hi ashhh!! Hiii!!! Its my again the anon who asked for sskk headcannons. I think that at this point i should get an id emoji neh? Hm.... lets see... i have two seals plushies so lets go with 🦭! If you don't mind of couse hahaha

Anyway, thougths on a sleepy little dazai with cg chuuya? It's on their time in the mafia and both just got out of an exausting task mori gave for them... :3

I'd love to see your take on this qwq

(Totally not projecting a little because im reaally exausted with school stuff sjhskansj what? Never...)

-🦭 (ilyyyyy)

Yay another identified anon! I’ve noticed some anons are using emojis without asking, which I don’t mind! So those who are doing so don’t worry hehe. I can just get very confused cause I’m like- I don’t remember this emoji, it’d be so rude to say that though… Such a cute way to pick your emoji though! And school can be so exhausting :( I LOVE YOU TOO OMG PEOPLE ARE SO NICE

Warning! These two sillies are not standard sillies! There will be implied sensitive topics such as suicide, self harm, and body hatred. And there’s a brief mention of smoking! Stay safe everyone, don’t read or interact if these topics might be triggering!

Sleepy Little Dazai + Caregiver Chuuya

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

₊ ⊹ Working in the mafia can be such hard work! It’s always exhausting, mentally or physically… A lot of the time both actually. Especially with someone like Mori as your boss. He expects the best and only the best will survive. So they’re forced to be the best. Overall it makes every single mission exhausting and for Dazai, sometimes he just wants to be a little baby! Babies don’t need to work and stress about this stuff, so why does he have to? It’s no fair…

⛦ If after a mission Dazai starts feeling small then he tries pushing it away. Chuuya must be just as tired as he is, if not more so considering Chuuya is the brawn to his brains. What Chuuya needs is some rest. Not the burden of looking after a pathetic baby like himself. So he just ignores it! But it isn’t that easy. It isn’t long before it starts causing… Problems. Dazai is very familiar with the issues of pushing off his regression, but the symptoms never get any easier no matter how many times he does it

₊ ⊹ Everything starts off feeling a little fuzzy, a gentle request from his body which he ignores. But then it works up into a headache. Easy, Dazai is used to headaches! He can just tighten his bandages, pressure helps relieve pain! But doing things feels really hard… So he ends up sitting in the bathroom holding useless bandages and working himself up into a panicked frenzy. It just makes him feel smaller and smaller by the second… It’s not fair. Why can’t he just be normal? The Demon Prodigy shouldn’t be acting like a child

⛦ Luckily for times like this, Dazai isn’t trusted in a bathroom alone for very long (He doesn’t have a great track record). It isn’t long before Chuuya is knocking on the door to check on him. Chuuya will come into the bathroom and gently wrap the bandages around Dazai’s head for him (It’s much nicer when Chuuya does it anyway…), nice and snug to ward off headaches! Dazai is always quick to insist he isn’t a baby, so Chuuya will calmly explain that he’d do this even if Dazai wasn’t a baby. In that voice. That voice that is clearly intended for a baby. But how can he explain that?

₊ ⊹ Nicknames time! As usual the Soukoku classic, Chuuya definitely calls Dazai “Mackerel”! It’s especially helpful when Dazai claims he doesn’t want to be treated like a baby since Chuuya calls him that all the time. Overall it’s just trying to keep up the teasing atmosphere! Dazai doesn’t like change, so Chuuya will also just call him things like “Dummy” a lot. But sometimes when Dazai is deep enough into baby space he won’t object to things Chuuya can call him “Baby”, Dazai loves this one! He just usually objects to it. I also think Dazai calls Chuuya “Chibi”! It’s hilariously ironic considering how small Dazai feels, but of course he’s gotta act like he’s in control!

⛦ Missions can get messy, lots of injuries and sensory issues. Dazai tries to just quietly sit still as Chuuya treats any injuries, but by the end of it he’s a shaking sniffling mess… Especially something like stitches. Is it safer to take him to a doctor? Yes. But the mental toll that would take on him is to much. Better to just let Chuuya take care of it. Plus something like blood on his clothes? That feels so sticky and gross! He needs it off. But he doesn’t like bathing because he feels so exposed. I think seeing his body is a reminder that he exists, a reminder that he doesn’t appreciate

₊ ⊹ Bath time solution? Bubble baths! Bubble baths hide his body. Plus with Chuuya helping to wash him Chuuya can use special smelling soaps to encourage relaxation! I think Dazai struggles to sleep, poor baby definitely has nightmares, so sleepy time bath scents definitely help! Plus Chuuya gives him some clothes (Chuuya buys clothes that are too big for him so that they can fit Dazai). Being surrounded by the smell of Chuuya, cologne he uses, laundry detergent, maybe even the faint smell of cigarettes. It reminds him of Chuuya so it’s relaxing

⛦ As Dazai starts settling down Chuuya makes him some nice warm angel milk! He serves it in a sippy cup (Just to avoid spills! Not because he’s a baby. Of course not). Then they can just snuggle up on the couch and watch a show! Dazai hates the idea of sleeping, so Chuuya can’t create a sleepy atmosphere or the babies onto him! Both the couch instead of the bed and a show that should take focus are a very awake atmosphere! And with Dazai not thinking about sleeping he’s able to drift off in Chuuya’s arms

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

I love these two so so so so much. I have more thoughts on them but I tried limiting this to just relating to after mission/sleepy baby. ANYWAY HAVE A SUPER AWESOME AMAZING WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT EVERYONE

[acti-veg]

hi acti, shits pretty bleak in the U.S. at the moment. I'm very proud of my folks for voting 93 and 80% majority for blue but it's not enough. We're taking this time to just rest and try to think of ways to brace for what's coming. Especially with FDA and health inspection rollbacks in place. My family's majority plant-based save for my mom. Idk if u remember or if u had gotten it, but I wrote an anonymous message a long time ago asking if there was a way to transition my mom from backyard egg vegetarianism with rescue hens to veganism, especially since I don't think we can trust animal products soon. I really want to start a micro farm, (like a freight hydroponics microfarm or something similar) if possible because soon I won't trust the soil from big box stores as I can't sterilize it enough nor grow year round and its gonna be a rough 4 years and up. I'm just looking for hobbies to help feed my community if anything.

(Im so sorry if this seems like the beginning manifesto of an online recipe) but Do you happen to have any sources on vegan alternatives to beekeeping? Or any sources on sustainable indoor hydroponic farming that could feed several people? Or if you think its best to keep rescue chickens for eggs and transition my mom to plant-based sources for her own safety now? Thank u in advance

I want to preface this by saying I don't really have any personal experience with this, so my answer here is based solely on research. It will depend on the level of space you have in your home, but even if you have a couple of spare rooms to use, I think you'll need to manage your expectations a little bit.

It is unlikely that you'll be able to become self-sufficient unless you have access to a plot of land. What you'll be growing will supplement what you're buying, but it won't replace it. Communal allotments could be an option, but that will depend heavily on where you are and how available they are, as well. Even then, the quantity you'll produce on a small allotment will not be enough to feed several people.

That said, you can grow quite a lot indoors or on a small plot of land, and you'll certainly be able to provide a real boost of fresh fruit and veg, either to community kitchens or to your family. I don't think that having animal inputs would really provide much of a benefit since you'd also have to rely on buying or growing feed, so my recommendation would be to just start with trying to supplement what you're buying now, with easy options to grow at home.

As for resources, here is highly rated book on vegetable gardening, if you do have access to an outdoor space. For indoor, this is supposed to be a good entry level book, here is a more extensive text focused on soiless growing, and here is one focused on equipment. There are also a couple of active subreddits on this, but I think that these four combined should provide a really good foundation to get you going - but it is apparently a lot of trial and error, and you will need to set some money aside for an initial investment into your equipment.

I think that it's a great idea so start to look towards growing your own food, but don't get too wrapped up in the self-sufficiency idea. Reach out to local growers and grower communities, make connections at farmers markets, see if you can do any work in community gardens to learn. Community is what is going to get people through this, and making those connections now would be wise.

Edit: Check this advice from a knowledgeable anon as well.

[dippersguidetotheunexplained]

ok i know all these antennas and dishes were probably just drawn randomly but can you play with me in this space for a minute i want to speculate. for fun

these two antennas on the left are pretty clearly yagi uda antennas (ones even drawn with enough detail that you can tell which way its pointing. drew a little arrow to show). yagis are very directional so since theyre both pointing in different directions i assume theyre being used for different things. they have all kinds of applications but its my post so im going to blindly speculate and say well, if i was in panic mode i would probably want an easy way to communicate with my apocalypse bunker at the very least as a failsafe and well a yagi can work for that as long as its pointed in the right direction. as for other potential uses well i would probably also want to keep as ear out for local law enforcement since i assume portal operation has got to be breaking some kind of laws and once again you can use a yagi to do that. from what i understand its a little overkill considering how small gravity falls is but whatever itll work probably

as for the giant seti looking satellite dish after looking into a bit im actually pretty confident that this is an early tv dish, in the late 70s/early 80s satellite tv was kind of just starting out so thats just how big the dishes were apparently

^ heres a picture of a commercially available satellite dish from around that time (which was going for over $30k in the early 70s btw... yikes) and the resemblance is really really close imo. person in the pic was interviewed about his setup in 1981, so the dates match up too. so despite the really dramatic scifi kind of look to such a huge dish i think the purpose of it was actually relatively mundane. it seems that programing was a bit limited at this point in time so im not sure what exactly hed be watching but who knows, maybe someone was broadcasting some scifi shows for him to keep up on

the tiny satellite dishes on the shacks roof are little bit more of a mystery to me since as previously mentioned tv dishes were fucking huge at this point so theyre definitely not for that. honestly i dont know a lot about parabolic antennas. might get back to this later

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 1: Chapters 1-14

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

Hi!!!! I've been reading through this webnovel after seeing @ot3's pitch for it and started writing down some thoughts on the characters and worldbuilding and imminent murdering. This story is very, very long and I only reacted up to about chapter 33, so most of my thoughts will involve the worldbuilding and less the murder mystery aspect -- so if you're looking for theorizing you won't find much of that here. Since I'll be continuing eventually, I wanted to post what I did make note of to revisit later!

Most of these are not marked by chapter/section because I was lazy and I'm not sure how easy it will be to follow as a result, but everything is chronological.

everyone here is hijabi mashallah

The visual I'm getting of the solar system/local system/dimension they inhabit is kind of a blend of steampunk and fantasy and uhh some secret third thing. With the walls of their "universe" painted in that puella dollhouse witch lair style. Does the sun bounce around like a screensaver. Does it orbit their earth or is it on a fixed axis flung out into “space”? Does “space” even exist anymore? I’m assuming they’re in an enclosed area that they've created. Do they actively use arcane resources to keep objects (ie star and planets) sustaining themselves, or have they made them self sufficient?

everyone is so mean to Ptolema leave her alone what the fuckk let a bimbo live i want to kill you all you’re so annoying. Ptolema I WOULD be your friend and not ask all these weird ass questions. and we would hold hands and skip and giggle

Yes shes an airhead nepo baby but you guys could try doing anything other than snickering and rolling your eyes whenever she says stupid shit. If she starts arguing back about government war crimes during the Revolution or something then you have my blessing to beat her ass!

I HATE kamsurepa i HATE her i HAYE Her and her stupid ass name

Ran and Su have no chemistry its insane that theyre always hanging out every conversation is like uhhh (awkward silence) (rude comment from Ran) *Su voice* wow she gets me so well. every time they talk im like what the fuck just happened.

Su’s internal narration is too self aware for me. it’s like she talks like she knows she’s a character? or something. it's self-deprecating in a very bizarre way

im sorry i don’t know if i can continue with this. i know too many med students irl and these characters are literally pissing me off. compliments to the author for realism you knocked it out of the park

Oh, thank you very much!" Kam said, reverting back to her smiley-diplomatic form for a moment before stepping away from the counter and continuing as she handed us the cards. "...as far as it seems to me, the desire to reproduce is essentially an immature form of pursuing life-extension - this idea that you'll 'live on through your children' that's patently pseudo-mysticism justifying what is ultimately an animal instinct." ⬇️ I’m going to grab her ginger head and swing her around like bowser in mario 64. SHUT UPPPPP SHUT UP please tell me shes the one that dies

You know," I mused idly, my eyes wandering. "I think this is actually the fourth glass ceiling I've seen today." "Mm, it's true that you don't see a lot of women working in Aetheromancy," ⬇️ I know this is a small nitpick but aren’t we really far into the future why do they keep using terms like this 😭 gendered stuff like this still exists billions? trillions? of years into the future?

Why has the disco elysium skill tree randomly started talking to su. Is this her future self nagging her. Is she pulling a han sooyoung. when do we get to the various utsushikome ego deaths

"prosognostic overlap"…do ppl repeat faces? Are most people cloned at this point? What triggered the need for cloning surely medicine is advanced enough that childbirth or test tube babies are feasible? Can bodies be cloned and reinhabited to inhibit aging? Is there some disturbing psychological element to seeing someone with the same face as you? Does it make your brain short circuit? Kam mentioned having children earlier which I assume means people still give birth or have test tube babies, so i don’t know if it’s the result of cloning…but it does sound like a sameface sort of thing. What else would it be if not that though?

Actually, if they’ve figured out teleportation (whatever it was called when they went up the aetherbridge) - let's say they can atomize a body and reforming it elsewhere (though we don't know for sure yet, could also be a fold in spacetime) - transferring consciousness to an empty clone of yourself (and therefore effectively doing away with aging or death wholesale) sounds a lot more efficient and technologically practical than maintaining an organic system that naturally decays. Why keep on finding ways to push the human body past its limits when you could simply transfer a person to a new, identical vessel?

I feel like the key to immortality isn’t maintaining an organic body, which naturally tends towards systems of entropy (being a biological thing, entropy=decay), but rather delineating and separating human consciousness from its host and replicating its original environment perfectly. I’m not talking about making a copy of consciousness, which is just glorified cloning - I’m talking about *transferring* a consciousness.

You could almost call dementia itself the mind's tendency towards its own kind of entropy?

Though if you transfer a consciousness to a younger body, the dementia issue could still potentially remain. Depends on if it the author sees it as a solely physical phenomena (atrophy/buildup of inhibitors of the brain) or there's some metaphysical anomaly about amassing too many memories/"existing" too long in general

The way spellwork is described is really cool and feels super believable. Optimizing multiple concurrent spells into one “function” is intricate and sophisticated, and you have to dedicate a lot of brainpower to doing the math in your head. It’s like they’re coding the real world. I love the way lurina describes this it's awesome.

[lucabyte]

HOWDY! *slams pile of papers on the desk* i have Inquiries. OKAY SO-

1.) i know the bridge between infurno and purrgatorio is Ali realizing they cant leave, so like, whats pawradisio???

2.) wtf happens ta Ali durin the 'age ???' section of their design timeline. what type cult stuff do they get involved w and how. its haunting me i needa know

3.) whats with the 3 year memory erasing thing in that one ali purrgatorio relationship chart. Really funny chart ive shared it w a few friends but also im staring intently at it like Huh What O_O

4.) what is mymk's final form? is it gonna be written, a comic, etc?

5.) got any music you associate w any mymk characters/ali? besides like, in canon reasons like Chrome more like any songs/artists/lyrics that remind u of anya em :0??

anyway yeah huge fan! also hope ur vacation's fun!

Hehe hi :)

1. We shall get there when we get there <3 my lips are sealed. Though I will say, there are further books by Dante one can animal-pun the titles of... Though they aren't part of the divine comedy..... (Alludes vaguely to plans that will inevitably take me years)

2. Okay so spoilers for Creature Feature, Ali's home setting (and @samhainian's thing) (because this is all a bit of an open secret) but Ali is, as I've alluded to previously, an Antagonist.

Creature Feature is a real world adjacent setting, set in our modern day, only with all manner of monsters and cryptids living secretly alongside humans. Ali lives in Wraithbrook, a hidden town populated primarily by monsters (albeit, most everyone still upholds a disguise, just in case). Being a (very) small town with an effectively captive population.... The post-high-school ennui tends to set in bad for people. Hope you enjoy the family businesses, kids.

So... This leaves the listless vulnerable. And boy is Ali a bit malleable. A trusted figure in their life takes advantage of this, part of an accellerationist group looking to break these confines, having singled them out as candidate for their most recent attempt to mold a magic user into a weapon to shatter the veil. And, well, if you've got a self-hating isolated guy who is predisposed to a bit of Catholicism already... Why not utilise the concept of the antichrist? They will be bringing a world together, in a way... And when you've been around as long as some immortal librarians have, doing a little bit of time dilation in the later stages of indoctrination isn't thaaaaat hard... Sooooo....

(But don't worry. They get better. Eventually. At least they look it. Everything is A-OK!!!)

(as for if purrgatorio is canon to this timeline....? Yes! But in a fucked up way! Can't make it too easy for the little guy....)

3. Okay so I was coy literally a sentence ago but yeah purrgatorio is set dead on like.. at the exact same time MYMK proper *should* start. Thus, it cannot exist at the same time as the main story... Ali's narrative powers keep them from being subsumed by the universe and just becoming a funny animal themselves.

But should a time come where Ali is *gone*, and the world is similar enough to the moments before they arrived? Well, the narrative can just pretend the time hasn't passed! Just, don't think too hard about your count of how many Halloweens and Christmasses you've had doesn't really line up....

(A normal person would simply name Purrgatorio noncanon, but hey, if Ali's whole thing is that they manipulate reality like a Narrative... Well. May as well use it! So once canon is over for both parties, things can start creeping back in. It's needlessly overcomplicated but I'm having fun)

4. Written with illustrations! An Online picture book, I suppose. I was initially damning myself to a comic, but after playing in the space with Purrgatorio, I realised I prefer prose. I'll probably write the thing in whole and then release it bit by bit as I work on the illustrations? I have a working outline as of right now and it's not a super long story lol. But its likely going to come after some practice with smaller projects like my reworking of Hazeclan and maybe Damonquest (name pending) (the latter featuring a cut main character of mymk lol)

So! ETA: a while. But we stay silly

5. OKAY.... so I can't link character playlists sadly since they don't exist (..... Yet.) and I'll stick primarily to our at present Purrgatorio cast.

I am like. Famously bad with identifying songs (<- usb stick full of songs on shuffle in the car as a kid) but I have been trying to put thought into this recently (my gold standard for this being my friend @teddymedley who's so good with character songs I did ask him for some vibe checks for this even)

So these are messy and some are like, inherited from earlier drafts of the characters so can be a bit off but I'll give a handful and their reasonings. (No links or embeds though I'm on mobile and Tumblr might eat my visibility if I do. I'll reply with some though)

[Ali Alighieri]

1. "Here comes the flood" by the Divine Comedy (self explanatory really, that animatic will exist someday I promise. This is THE big one to me, but @samhainian may have a different top spot opinion lol) Bonus: it has a demo version that also fucks supremely

2. "All the angels (demo)" by MCR. (Ali is not the MCR sibling, they're the P!ATD sibling. But I don't listen to panic lol)

3. "If you could save yourself you'd save us all" by Ween (peak "sorry what was that line just there?" song)

4. "In the meantime" by Spacehog (I like Spacehog. Everyone gets a spacehog song yaaay)

5. "Here comes the sun" cover by Ghost (not their style of music at ALL and you KNOW they're contrarian about the Beatles, but grim irony is such a vibe here)

[Chromium Mono]

1. "Manicure" by Lady Gaga (this is such a flippant "because I said so" choice lol)

2. "Let it grow" by Renaissance (this is such a nice cheesy song. I like to think of this as speaking to the actual nice loving guy chrome can be when he's not being a prickly bitch)

3. Kissing Ancaps by Patricia Taxxon (... GOD this song is way too cool or smart for chrome lol. It's a chrometab song to me because of the big words and cynicism. It's too modern and online for them but I'm attached to it... Also it contains a sample from let it grow)

4. "Run away with me" by Carly Rae Jepsen (more vibes based! Love some ms jepsen. But at least has a coherent theme wrt to eloping lol)

Bonus: oh god I really have to finish the voiceclaim video I was making. Premiere kept melting on me but I should probably let the world know chrome sounds like Donald Glover huh. The marshall lee to live action Simba pipeline.....

Bonus 2: @teddymedley suggested "Ratchet" by Bloc Party, with the phrasing "subject matter younger chrome sound older chrome" which I like!

[Tabitha Boss]

1. "Cable Rat King" by Gem Milsom (this one genuinely feels like a solid choice to me. It's polite and tentative and about depressive spirals, and is from the same album as the Number One Main Labyrinthine song, Pipes. That animatic will exist someday too I promise)

2. "This too shall pass" by OK GO (Preferably the brass band version. I think Tabitha would adore their videos, he'd be delighted by the moving parts and generally light tone. Also, Labyrinthine has a different "this too shall pass", being by Danny Schmidt)

3. "When will you die?" By TMBG (goofy song. But you get it.)

4. "Zeroes" by Spacehog (Spacehog again 👍)

Bonus: Jimmy buffet discography. He is living on island time baby

Bonus 2: @teddymedley assigned "Happy Hour" by Eels and I think the strange upbeat lethargic energy fits

[Lavender Wafeu]

Lavender is really funny because I honest to god don't think she listens to much music. This means I barely associate music with her apparently.

However @teddymedley did suggest "Black Rainbows" from Hawaii: Part 2, and I think that's better than any of my previous notes. Those previous notes being entirely the words "Little shop of horrors". She, Knives and Mafioso do also share an association with "Panda Hero" by Hachi but that's more visual to me?

I have however begun associating some Zelda OST tracks with her though... Hmmm....!

[Markus Felidae]

This poor bastard has shed and gained characterisation recently enough to have shook the MCR out of their system.... I don't have all that much for them.

Now. Hm. I think I'd have to go with some very on the nose musical tracks? My mind immediately goes to the opening track to Disney's Notre Dame, and maybe like, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats? These are such dreadful picks lol. Sorry buddy, characterisation overhaul syndrome. They probably also would listen to P!ATD same as Ali though so do with that what you will.

Bonus: in Markus' earliest iteration over 10 years ago..hrm. long story short, 121 guns is so fucking unfitting but it's lodged there forever lol

[Lupus Felidae]

Lupus is associated in my head with the kind of dub anime opening best codified by 4kids era Pokémon. Like the ideal song here is that one from Yugioh. "No matter what"? That kind of cheese and boyish power of friendship. "OK!!" From the JP endings of anipoke goes here too it's cute to me.

"I can go the distance" from Disney's Hercules is also up there for the same vibes. She's just silly and having fun!

Bonus: "Don't let's start" by TMBG is a Miao song to me, but in relation to her family. So it's also Lupus and Markus' by association.

[Ess Somil]

The idea of an ess playlist is hysterical to me. I feel like it's a Mother 3 battle theme in that man's head all the time. What's your time signature boy.

Anyway, "Numbers" by Neil Cicierega. Since it is overwhelming enough of a soundscape. Or just "Doctor Worm" by TMBG. For that they live in the soil.

.... And that's probably enough!!! This ask is very long now! Sorry it took a while to answer lmaooo. I've been very busy but it's been nice to chip away at during my downtime! Thank you so much for the questions :)

[qweerhet]

i just wanted to share my experience. i dont wanna go into too much identifying detail but like. one of my best friends used to be my abuser. we were in an unhealthy codependent relationship for years, both abusing alcohol to cope with our traumas, and unfortunately abusing me as well. eventually we broke up and moved into different places, and both decided to stop drinking for our own sakes. after space and time we came back together to talk and have some closure. we both missed each other as friends. we set very clear boundaries with each other, and started hanging out more in slow and small increments. we both went to therapy, and not only did i process trauma there, i also got to speak to my abuser about it. and actually be heard. its shockingly healing to hear your ex abuser say "that was so fucked up what i did, and im sorry." sometimes these memories pop up still and we kinda have an understanding that me bringing it up is to talk through it with them, not out of anger. for some reason it really helped my healing to understand what my abuser had been thinking and going through themselves during the abuse.

people really don't understand when i try to explain it to them, they look at me like am an idiot, still being abused without realizing it. im not saying it was Easy, or without road bumps. we had fights a couple of times. but now, i feel so much more healed over that trauma than any other in my life. i feel actual closure, and i trust my friend completely now. i just want people to respect that, but oftentimes they don't :(

i don't really have much to say to this--just that i appreciate you sharing this, and that i personally resonate with a lot of it. i've had a similar experience--i don't refer to it as abuse for myself, because i don't think they had hierarchical power over me and i was genuinely just as toxic and violent towards them as they were to me during the period of time that was most harmful. but it was harm, it was emotional toxicity and power games, it was a lot of mutual toxic drug abuse, and it was sexual violence towards me specifically.

and... yeah, we broke up, and moved out, and both did a lot of trauma work and processing and community building and both giving and receiving emotional aid. and eventually, we got to a place where we started being friends again and are able to talk very openly about what we did to each other and why. and hearing "that was fucked up, i'm sorry i did that, and here's why it was wrong and how i act differently now" about the sexual violence i experienced... was the only thing that got me past the sexual trauma i carried with me from that time, in the end.

that's a personal statement. it's not going to apply to everyone, or even most people. but i really appreciated your willingness to share your experience publicly, and i'd like to reciprocate in turn for once. (probably not going to do more personal life experience sharing on this blog, or at least not in more detail than i have already, but i felt like this was an important one to share in this context.)

but yeah. it's really hard when people don't respect that or treat you like you're a naive idiot.

[facelessfractal]

I am working on fixing a very run-down two story house. The rooms, of course, dont exactly make sense. Which does make sense, really. For me, at least. The spiral staircase in the dead center of the house is iron and pretty much the only piece that doesnt seem like it may be trying to succumb to years of rain and weathering.

The basement is flooded, i dont really have the equipment to fix that either. The attic is the least touched part, which feels strange. No holes in the roofing there I guess, its dry and a little warm. Probably the safest place to sleep as it doesn't move and change positions like the rooms on the second floor do.

The second floor seems to consist of doors that lead to the same hallways and rooms. Several bedrooms, the only ones i have seen so far look like various versions of our childhood bedrooms over the years. Sometimes theyre full rooms, sometimes the walls are tarped off from when they were doing construction for so many years. I don't look out from behind the tarp. I don't want to know what is on the other side of them. There is a couple of bathrooms. Neither of which are from my own homes. The garden tub at our late aunt's house, still full of plants and dirt and her art on the walls. The vases she made sitting on every surface. The light from the sunroof that sits over it is still so beautiful and reminds me how much I miss her and how much I wish we had been closer when I became an adult. The other bathroom I've seen is less remarkable, a small one with a small shower. The sink and tubs are stained with hair dye, i can faintly hear music and crying from downstairs when im there. There is a small window that otherlooks the forest and makes it seem endless. Theres a small livingroom space on the second floor too, but i can only look in. That has always been my place. To look in and never enter that room. To show my face from the corner and scare the child within. Theres no child there now, as i realized a long time ago that i was that child myself and i cant really take both positions.

The first floor is run down, open concept, and circles itself around a T shape of walls in the middle so you can pretend theres a difference between the kitchen, dining space, and living room area. None of those have any furnishings though, put its fun to walk the circle. Ive places a few potted plants in the corners but the flooring is soft and needs replacing. I feel lucky to be so light on my feet despite how heavy i can be. The windows are broken in a few places. One is busted outwards entirely. It feels a little exposing but easy enough to ignore.

My door doesn't really stick to the walls on the 1st floor. I can place it, but i cant look directly at where i want it to be. Once it is up, if i touch it suddenly the thing crumbles like a built up powder under my touch. Seems to work fine on the second floor. I may have left an unfortunate amount of drywall dust on the floors where ive tried to place doors on the first floor.

[heat--end]

20 questions for fic writers

i saw this from @tearsoftime0086 and figured why not

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14, though i think one MIGHT be privated?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

453,462

3. What fandoms do you write for?

basically just pokemon, lol. one day i wanna branch out, but i really like writing for pokemon, so i don't mind that all too much

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Iridescent Bonds - my first ever fic, a dawn/irida story that involves them falling in love over the course of PLA's storyline and some other events. dawn is transgender! it's good! i hold this story very close to my heart, and i'm actually rewriting it right now, which is fun!

Bloom - trans girl lillie during the sun/moon story. its basically just a deeper dive into lillie as a character, while also making her trans, because Me Like Trans Characters. im very proud of this!

God Cannot Give You Relationship Advice - a very short, very silly one-shot that i threw together on a whim and is my 3rd most kudos'd work lmao. still, it's fun and cute, i can see why people like it so much

Shining Beyond Space Itself - my current project other than BFS! a rewrite of iridescent bonds, really fleshing out the idea and doing it proper. currently on 17 chapters out of 20, so its wrapping up soon

Jewel Box - my dawn/irida oneshot collection, based entirely on the universe established in iridescent bonds/shining beyond space. it's just a big fluff collection, but damn if i dont love it LOL. plus it really helped me develop the framework for SBS

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

LOVE responding to comments, only time i dont is if i feel i cant really add much or the like. but i really enjoy adding on to people's questions, or further explaining stuff, or even just thanking them for nice comments because i love comments!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

honestly, i don't really write angsty endings - i do enjoy writing angst, but not in my endings. i guess maybe Stardust Memories, but even that ends on a nice note???

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably Iridescent Bonds, since that just ends on dawn and irida getting married lmao. it's mushy and sappy but damn it i am a mushy and sappy gal!!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no. i got one comment on iridescent bonds though that was like "this was great until the trans shit" which like. that's in the 2nd line, bro lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nah, probably wont ever

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

MY PRIDE AND FUCKING JOY, BUILD FIGHTERS SHINING. a crossover fic between pokemon and gundam build fighters, but to be more specific, it's a crossover between iridescent bonds/SBS and gundam build fighters. i love love LOVE writing this story, it's my other project next to SBS (it's taken a small hiatus because of SBS wrapping up - all my focus is going into that). LOVE build fighters shining. my pride and joy. my brainchild. i pour my heart and SOUL into this story

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of, but i wouldn't mind someone doing so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't no. might be fun, though!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

incredibly easy answer lmfao. akari/irida, 100%. dawn/irida as well, but that's just a variant of akari/irida really. i love love LOVE this ship, i think the game really lets these two build a strong relationship over the course of the game and they grow so incredibly close that i think its so cute, i love irida as a character so i think shes gay, and i love dawn/irida cause thats MY variation of it. girls gay. gay women. go check out @iridawn for all my autism about this ship

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the akari/irida WIP i had where akari gets burned bad from the fight with lord arcanine, and irida has to help her while the others get materials to help. i cant really find the angle i'd want on it, and i'm a little worried about inaccurately writing a burn injury lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i'm good at writing emotional stuff when i really need to, especially when it's just sappy and good. i also think i can write action scenes pretty well. not FLAWLESSLY, but im proud of it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

definitely how i describe certain things and my habit to repeat words, lmao. i fall into writing ticks a lot, stuff like "a bit" or just sticking to certain words, and i dont give AS much detail as i should sometimes when decorating a scene. its something im slowly working on, but def my weakness

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

not a bad idea at all, yeah. i say its good

19. First fandom you wrote for?

published was pokemon, but first i WROTE for was DBZ. i wrote a very small piece a long, LONG time ago, and i never published it or anything, it was just a small little idea i had. i think its lost to time now though lol maybe ill go look for it one day

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

GOD, this is hard. i love everything ive written, but i really have to give it to build fighters shining. despite not being done yet, BFS is my brainchild, its my self indulgent baby, i have poured my heart into that fic and i love developing the world in it and the custom gunpla and everything. i fucking LOVE build fighters shining, it is so fun to write for lmao

[mysteriawrites]

hello!! could i please request a romantic matchup with a honkai star rail men

my pronouns are they/them, my mbti is intp-t, my zodiac is virgo.

personality: im really shy and kind of awkward when socializing others bcos im not really good interacting with them so i just stay in the sideline where i observe people and their behavior and thats the reason why people depict me as intimidating and hard to approach and also bcos of my stoic expression too but when im with my close friends, im really bubbly and more comfortable with them. im really quite moody sometimes and i also tend to overthink things. i always listen to my friends whenever they're having a problem and just be there for them sometimes pitching in some advice now and then. im also the type of person to run away from their problems and tend to push people away bcos i dont want to burden them, i also laugh at small things, im also the type of person to read a body language very well bcos of my observant nature. i also get insecure with my appearance too. im also blunt with my words i do not sugarcoat things.

my hobbies/likes:writing stories and reading books, poetry composition, learning about stars and outer space, watching horror videos on yt, staying up all night writing down my ideas about my next stories, sleeping, i also have a fascination to ocean and i tend to stare at it, dark academia, i also like abandoned places especially if its haunted, i also love matcha green tea, i really love a meadow full of lavenders.

my dislikes: loud people including loud places too, vegetables (depends on my mood), cheaters and playboys, worms, hot weather, arrogant people.

what i like in a person: someone who's very loyal and someone who can be my safe haven when everything's overwhelming.

- 🦋 anon

Hello hello and danke danke for the request. Sorry for this taking so long, I really appreciate gettting so many in the short time this blog has been around. Now enough rambling this match was easy...CUE THAT DRUMROLL!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

DAN HENG!!!

Congratulations! You've been matched with the ever elusive but very caring Dan Heng (lowkey jealous, but I must adhere to my duties as matchmaker).

So, because this game still doesn't have a lot characters, Dan Heng was kind of the only match that made sense. You're both so similar it's kind of what drew you two together.

You both can be rather quiet and reserved people. You prefer to keep to yourselves and mind your own business, but kind of for different reasons. You're more shy and awkward while Dan Heng is aloof and just overall preferring to keep to himself more than he's shy. I think because of this you two may need a bit more of a push to get to know each other.

After you both have been part of the Astral Express for while Welt will have started a book club as a sort of team bonding activity (encouraged by Himeko). Whenever it comes to you or Dan Heng's turn to choose a book you start to notice that you have as similar taste in literature. After that (and some nagging from march because she also likes to play matchmaker) Dan Heng approaches you about some other books you like.

From there the conversation will spiral to other topics such as your own writing and if he can take a look at it some time, the vast universe you guys are traveling through and theories on how it works, what your next destination will be, and so much more. In time you two will come to a mutual comfort with each other.

Now as time goes on and you start to get closer to him and the rest of the express crew, Dan Heng starts to see the real you come out. The happier, sillier, bubblier version of you that reminds him a lot of March. However, unlike with March he finds that part of you rather cute, and that's when he's realized that he's slowly falling for you.

Now even though he doesn't want to admit it, we've all seen that Dan Heng is the type to run away from his problems. Once he realizes his feelings for you, he may start to distance himself from you for a little while to sort out his feelings, but don't worry it won't be for too long because despite his introverted nature he does begin to miss your presence. However, it may take a little push from the others (and maybe a minor life or death situation on another planet and him realizing his fear of losing you-) for him to come around.

Once you two finally get together I imagine some of the dates you guys will go on will be calm and quiet things like tea dates, exploring the libraries and bookstores of different planets, walking through nature, and some may just be simply sitting in silence and enjoying some music or watching a movie. (I would add going star gazing but you guys kinda see the stars regularly so)

Dan Heng is rather private so I don't think he would be into too much PDA, but on missions he would slowly hold your hand and intertwine your fingers. It gives him comfort to know you're right next to him safe and sound and so he can be ready to protect you at a moment's notice if he senses any danger.

Dan Heng is more of a listener than a talker, so he'll always be there to listen to your troubles when you mind starts to spiral and his calming voice will reassure you to quell those voices in your head. However, he is also more of a man of actions than words so he will do whatever he can to disprove any negative thoughts and stress you may have.

All in all, I think you two are so similar it makes your relationship easier because you understand each other so well. You are both running from something whether that be from your pasts or your problems, but together you'll give each other the strength to face and overcome them.

This one was actually pretty hard because like I said there are few characters right now and we still don't know a whole lot about the ones we have. Man did it get long though, but I hope you still like the matchup.

Runners Up: Welt Yang, Gepard Landau, Loucha

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello ! Could I please get a romantic male matchup for Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail !

Pronouns : She/Her

Sexuality : straight

Zodiac/MBTI : Virgo/INTJ

Appearance : I’m 5’4, slightly curvy girl, with a pear shaped figure and a lightly tanned skin. I have almond shaped light brown eyes and very wavy mid-long caramel hair. I have a round face, plush lips and slightly chubby cheeks, so I have a bit of a childish face. I dress mostly with vintage clothes from the 50s and Korean style clothes.

Personality: I’m mostly withdrawn, individualistic, introverted and very honest even blunt at times. I need a lot of alone time. When im with people i’m close with, I tend to be more cheerful and energetic, im also quite sarcastic. One of the thing that stands out the most about me is that I’m extremely determined and ambitious and eager to learn new things. However, I do have some very specific subjects/ hobbies I tend to get hyper focused on, focusing mainly on it and digging the subject to its deepest. I’m also very observant and attentive which makes me a good listener, especially for my friends who I value very much and try my best to be considerate with( for example by avoiding being too blunt).

Likes : I have a sweet tooth: I mostly enjoy chocolate, fruits, cakes. I like to have a lot of alone time in different ways : i like to walk in wild, vast nature alone , and open air activities, like mountain climbing. However, I’m also a homebody who enjoys staying at home for a full day. I love art and books a lot. I also enjoy small, calm gathering with close friend or families like picnic or tea parties. I love fashion, and I like to go shopping too.

Dislike : I absolutely hate crowded spaces. I dislike when there’s too much noise around me. I can’t stand hypocritical people.I hate small talk and people who rambles too much and don’t go straight to the point. In terms of food, i don’t like citrus fruits.

Hobbies : I enjoy reading, playing video games, listening to music, drawing, learning new languages, dancing, swimming and doing crochet.

Extra information : My enneagram is 5w6.I am the eldest sibling and I have a little brother I get along well with. I like sincere, loyal and intelligent people who can give me a lot of personal space. My love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service.

That’s about it, sorry if it’s too long and thank you for reading my request !

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Alhaitham definitely falls into the category of intelligent and willing to give you personal space.

He is sincere as well but this often comes across more as bluntness or brutal honesty. He doesn't really have a filter for those sort of things.

At the same time, if Alhaitham sees that he has hurt or offended you in any way, he'll do what he can to make it up to you.

Enjoys reading with you. He would prefer reading separate books, since he finds it tricky reading at the pace of others, but he still really enjoys being in your presence.

He also likes talking to you. He respects your boundaries and will never talk too much but what he does have to say is interesting and constructive. He appreciates your attentiveness; it's a nice change of pace from people like Kaveh.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with..

Dan Heng is also more than willing to give you personal space. He likes his own space as well so it works out nicely.

Very sincere and loyal. He couldn't imagine doing anything that would hurt you and if by chance he does, he'll do what he can to make it up.

Like Alhaitham, Dan Heng enjoys reading with you. This guys is pretty easy when it comes to what you each read. He's happy to read the same book or completely different things. He's got a diverse taste so anything goes.

I think Dan Heng would enjoy going mountain climbing with you. It's a chance to get away from the other people on the Star Rail and he finds it nice getting out into nature.

I have no logic to back this up, but Dan Heng gives off the vibes of being a big fan of chocolate cake. He'd love to go out with you, trying to find the best chocolate cake on every new planet you visit.

[cupcraft]

hi cup cupsmp since ur a grad student i was wondering if you had any college advice? im starting in the fall and i am. so very nervous

HI YES ANON I DO!! sorry if this becomes long its below a read more just incase! Also if theres any specific advice you'd like to ask just send another ask this is just what i could think of rn.

1: if you are going to live in a dorm/apartment/house with roommates please think about your living space boundaries and communicate these EARLY as well as communicate cleaning schedules/how you feel about guests/etc early. The most important thing is to work out these things really early and to make a chore schedule of some kind and also create an avenue of "what will we do if boundaries/chores are not done?" Like will you have a formal roommate meeting? will you just text each other? etc. Set up healthy manners of communication. And if your roommate is not willing to do this and you have troubles you may have to confront them, or you may realize "this is the kind of person i am not compatible living with", or you can bring it up with an RA/university stuff if youre in the dorm. But from both being an RA myself and having roommates this is the kind of thing that helps avoid anger/irritation with each other. Remember, you may not like your roommate or be friends with them but feeling comfortable living in a space with said person is important.

2: Studying! Learning how to study! I think its important you start college with what you know how to do but also try out other avenues of studying too because what worked before may not work now. It really also depends on the subject. Like ie math, really the only way to study for math is to do math practice problems over and over i feel like but when it comes to things like biology/chemistry/physics/etc. it seems more complicated than that. Take notes, but also find ways to study that aren't just "reading" notes (unless youre super good at doing that for me its not the most efficient). There's so many resources out there. There's flash cards quizlet yes, but also ANKI which is a great way to do time based learning and memory (and its free lol). There's making picture guides for yourself. There's making small study sheets with your notes. There's just so much to do! This isn't really an easy thing to develop but just do a bit of everything you can i think to see what works. Also other tips: go to office hours often with questions (you will learn a lot and also a professor will really get to know you and they become good candidates for rec letters and they also will know you well to see where youre struggling if you are), if you like studying in groups do this OFTEN review sessions with groups esp before exams is what savedd mee srsly because i learned really well from teaching other people what i knew and them correcting me (some ppl also learned well from listening to me go over stuff). Go to student run tutoring sessions if you need because often they are more helpful and less intimidating than the prof and they can really tell you the key to not only learning but passing the specific prof's class. You can also make a large google doc with a bunch of friends like a master study doc (i did that for a few engineering classes) for constant review. And if its something you can do easily, try to get back exams (exams from previous years) to practice on (but just be careful as some profs consider this cheating/bad. most of mine were fine with it though). Last thing ill add here is to make sure you learn how to make an exam/study schedule for yourself please do not cram last minute and do all nighters because over time it will really fuck your mental health and its not efficient in the long run. Do things in small chunks.

3: Making friends getting involved what to do? In my college i lived in a housing situation freshman year that housed us with ppl in our major and we had like a lot of events/stuff that forced us to hang out and we saw eachother inf reshman classes everyday so we studied together too. I do recommend that if your school has it, however that's not the only way to make friends. I made friends by interacting with ppl in class and study groups i created/or was invited to. I made sure to go to club events and i signed up for tons of clubs and then wittled down what i really wanted to do and made friends that way. I also joined an academic fraternity (not a social one) which really helped me with long term friends. What i would say is just get involved and dont be afraid to just quit if you dont like things. Getting involved can help you meet so many ppl. And you will meet ppl in class, you will have group projects/lab partners that just sort of just become part of your study groups and circle and you'll meet their friends and etc! And also realize that if youre scared to get involved and scared to talk to ppl nearly every single freshman is thinking the same thing (even though ik taht sounds cheesy it really is true).

4: dealing with competitive people that are awful. Depends on your major but you may encounter people that are Arrogant and Competitive and Awful. In the end, what's most important is to focus on yourself. Don't focus on class rank, don't focus on the 4 people that are trying to get a 100% on everything, don't focus on the people that schmooze professors every day and try to be their bffs, don't focus on the ppl who hve never outgrown highschool, dont fcus on the ppl that are like "oh yeah im a legacy and im so cool im going to be [insert prestigious career] just like them", dont focus on the petty bs! Srsly. in the end what these people are worrying about really doesnt matter at all. You should focus on YOURSELF and what YOU want. Want to get better grades? that's great and make that a goal for YOURSELF and seek out studying help/prof for YOURSELF and don't worry about bell curves this and competitive person number 5 that. Do your best for yourself. Surround yourself with ppl that care about you and want to get to know you and want to survive college. These drama filled ppl are never worth your time. I only add this advice because the program to get into my grad program eventually had a lot really over competitive ppl in it that were so toxic, but i just was civil and nice and just ignored them on the most part (or was lucky to get a few back exams from them) but they were never ppl i wasted my energy on because its not that srs. You should only ever compete with yourself and not other people, i think competitiveness can become really toxic for others and also yourself. To worry so much how someone ELSE is doing really harms yourself. Idk if that made sense but yeah ill end that one there.

That's all the advice i can think of for now off thet op of my head this morning.