#its so bad that even with the game ending next month im not even upset at not having every ruby card

[glacialmaples-pkmn]

people who play pokemon masters, whats it like?

i played a bit when it first came out but eventually dropped it cos i was playing other gacha games. but now that my main one since ~2017 is going away i was considering maybe getting back into it but i have a few questions abt it

what are the gacha rates like? is there a pity system and if so, is it decent?

how easy is it to get gacha currency? how long does it take a regular/daily player to get enough for a 10-pull (or whatever the equivalent is in pokemas)

(imo the most important one for me) is there an auto-play feature? if so how good is it and are there certain conditions/events that you cant use it?

how easy is it to level characters?

how repetitive is the gameplay? are the events different enough that its fun and not like an endless battle simulator?

idk what it is exactly, but can you get the alternate colour outfits without spending irl money to get them?

is there a pvp mode where there is massive power creep and a lot of gacha currency locked behind pvp rewards? (i really dont want to get into another revstar relive situation >-<)

i really want to get back into it, but from what i remember from launch and my current schedule i dont have a lot of free time to sit down and sink into it. so if i can just.. idk passively battle while doing other stuff (but still keep an eye on it) it would be a great motivator for me to pick up where i left off

[mihai-florescu]

i think i feel pretty similar to you in that the world is terrible, depressing, it sucks. that’s it’s natural state and we will always return there. but i thank that even though it hurts there are ideals unhampered by reality, stories we can create where that cycle ends for a moment in a happier direction. it isnt our job or duty as there isnt any grand purpose like that, but there is an opportunity out there to create a story with our lives. whether it’s a well known story or lost by the wayside, those who acknowledge the layer beneath the cheery “reality” that is peddled can be writers of their own. i might be delusional and there really is no hope but i hope to create stories for people to enjoy that elusive dream in if only for a temporary respite and cant give up until i well and truly fail. i don’t know if any of my thoughts speak to you in any meaningful way, but i felt compelled to share as while i think we share beliefs we seem to have come to rather different conclusions. i want to give my life to a story, an art, that will hold ideals the real world can never truly embody and thus cannot really give up as every taste of the real reality only strengthens my resolve. is there something like that for you? i’ve read your blog for a while and in my mind (which is an inexperienced mind so I apologize for sharing its fallible perceptions) you seemed like a fascinating person who holds ideals the world refuses to embody and is slowly sinking under that weight. i know it’s not really my place, so i apologize for my audacity, but i believe that you are the sort of person who can create a true happiness for yourself eventually. well, i mean i kind of have to if i believe that for myself. i have more to say, but it seems this is become a ridiculously long message. i apologize, my words likely have crossed between ideas and lost sense at times. i hope they help, or at least don’t harm. i hope you find loveliness loveliness in your day as you deserve it.

I've been journaling about this yesterday... my entire outlook on life i guess? I know i used to be creative and make projects that i found fun, but i cant find this drive in me anymore, i'm more than ready to give up (if only upset at the way it ended so im pressuring myself to make a good Last Project, but nothing is good anymore. It's all so...plain. useless. banal. there's no wit or multilayer to anything i can come up with anymore. I cant develop an idea anymore. There are enough stories, enough artworks, plenty of them bad, theres no need for me to add to it). Im sure it's just burnout stacked on top of depression and general worsening misanthropy and paranoia, but i don't think i will ever feel more hopeful again.

However i do think art, literature, games, even just stories from other people are keeping me grounded. They're also humanity's only redeeming quality - imagination will save our souls... but my position isn't to be an artist anymore, i cant spare the energy and i dont see a point in it either. I cant do a single basic living thing anymore that others seem to be able to do? I very much feel like an npc trying to do my most necessary tasks as best i can, failing more often than not. I hate getting asked what i'll do on a day off (it used to be often at my internship. I dont even want to imagine what they thought about me, that's another can of worms that still haunts me and contributed to why i became like this). The answer is quite literally Pretend I Dont Exist. I will not do anything. I cant do anything. I stop existing the second you stop seeing me, im just in bed dreading the next time i have to be human. I think when other people say they didnt do anything it's a hyperbole, but i can go weeks, and i have gone months even, without leaving the house, if i wasnt expected to.

Part of me wants to think, hope, i could maybe even get interested in making things again if there was no expectation for me to be a person for a few years, completely disappear off the grid (the expectation to be a person that just doesnt come natural to me anymore... and a specific one at that - achieving goals and moving forward, working, with ambitions or any sort of drive, young and energetic, an only child with a good education earning a living... i despise the idea of making money. I despise consumerism too. I want to fund artists, family owned restaurants, bookshops, cafes, and i do, i spend so much money without realising, but i'm really worried i'll run out and not be able to make any to survive once im older and wont get funds from my parents anymore. So i try to save and fail... My family friends, same age or even younger, are buying their own cars and apartments, successfully working multiple well paying jobs at the same time, with plans for the future...? Id like to know both how and why. How do you have the energy and why do you care. But even if they tell me the answers it doesnt change how i feel in my own life)

But this also has skewed my perception of other people... it connects to how i dont actually understand friendships anymore, im sure i mentioned it recently. Like with being an artist, there was a time i did understand and had deep friendships, i think, but it's quite alien to me now? In the way im not real until i have to interact with someone else, and even then, debatable, theyre not real to me either. Like i know this isnt a good mindset to have but it's either everything is real and i genuinely believe we need to disappear, to put an end to this sad species soon, or nothing is real and everyone's just playing a role in a story i get to watch. In a way taking away people's humanity and making them characters in my head is out of kindness, im being delusionally optimistic and quite frankly parasocial even with "friends", but it keeps me floating, stable. Ish. Still kind of empty but entertained enough. But then actually having a conversation outside my head with them is scary, unpredictable... on good days that can be fun too. My roommate always says i end up on side quests a lot if i leave the house, i think im just open to witnessing new stories... just on good, no, great days though, i cant stress that part enough. Great days are getting rarer and rarer. Most days pass by while im in bed and in my head trying to process anything, where i can barely have a coherent thought, and i wait for the day to end. Today was good for example but i still didnt manage to do anything to earn me the title of person, yet it was good because i 1. Ate, and 2. Didnt cry.

The part of your ask that hit me the most was when you said i seemed like a fascinating person, past tense. Im sure i was, but nowadays im very little even a person. Cant be helped. I hope i managed to explain how and why. If you ever want to share your art, my dms are open, i can maybe tell you about my gallery of failure wips i cant stand to look at anymore. I saw the followup ask with your personal info but im not quite sure what else to say... even this ask took too long to answer and now i need a nappp

[dirtsoilmulch]

long rambly post abt how i think bede and hop's relationship is because holy shit im the only person correct ever:

(asterisk this is only kind of sort of a ship analysis because i dont ship them in a normal way i ship them in a cool secret 3rd thing way)

during the plot, they dont Like each other. at all. like not even a little bit. even before bede was actively being a dick, hop got bad vibes from him anyway (half because of how he spoke to victor/gloria, half because hop's ego was the size of the sun in earlygame). and on bede's end, hop is a roadblock. just another competitor that he has to face off against. so why would he care? he's got one goal (to please chairman rose) and thats all he plans to do.

when the bede/hop battle plotpoint comes into play, its less of a pokemon battle and more of a fight. somewhere in one of the wild areas, kind of discreet so neither get into serious trouble over it. i always refer to this part of the game "the time when bede tells hop to kill himself" because thats what i feel is implied. bede calls him worthless, he calls him a terrible trainer, a stain on leon's reputation. things that dig deep, that fuck hop up astronomically. but i think its just because bede can see a lot of what he is in hop. they both had a goal. they both had someone who they needed to prove themselves to (leon or chairman rose). they gave it everything and more, sacrificed time and money and years to accomplish the one thing they couldnt ever do. i dont think hop can see the parallels they have yet. hes too in his head at this point

when bede is removed from the gym challenge, hop is a little conflicted. had he not gotten his team wiped prior, he would've been stoked about it. but he's more focused on himself now. he has bigger problems to worry about. bede is basically forgotten by him.

postgame (the playable content postgame) is a little different. i imagine it takes place a few months after the main plot does. bede has matured slightly, but he's still defensive as all hell. hop is more confused than he is upset. especially after seeing bede's success as the next fairy-type gym leader. because why him? why, after all bede has ruined and broken and messed with, did he get the chance and hop didnt? i doubt that hop ever wanted to be a gym leader (especially not fairy-type, he doesnt give that vibe). but if not a champion, he wanted to contribute somehow. its not fair to him that bede gets to and he doesnt (despite hop's lack of trying)

he's angry about it. angry enough that he breaks the radio silence between him and bede and confronts him about it. they dont battle this time (hop knew he wouldnt win anyway). it leads to an argument, though. one that leads bede to ask him why he's given up. why after all that effort, he's decided to just quit everything altogether.

following this is their second not interacting period. i imagine this is over the course of a few years. hop finally talks himself into becoming a pokemon professor. he prefers learning over copying anyway. he actually takes bede's advice, and goddamnit it actually worked.

so when research brings him and sonia to ballonlea, he finds bede again. he does his best to thank him for the wake up call. bede apologizes (though it doesnt Feel like an apology. hes so terrible at sounding genuine, even if he is) for basically psyching hop out of the championship altogether. and he tells him that had he not intervened, had that first "kys" battle never happened, that hop could've fought his own brother. maybe not a win. but he would still make it far.

hop cries over that. and with time, they're able to talk like normal people again. reminisce on the gym challenge, talk about what happened and why it happened. hop asks bede about the pokemon native to the glimwood tangle, bede asks hop about dynamaxing (and also tells the little knowledge he'd gotten from the chairman back in the day).

so do they date? no. not in a regular kind of way. my mind says it as a very casual, not set in stone or talked about qpr. they're around each other a lot, they end up caring about each other a lot. theres still that underlying pain from hop, he's learning to get over it. and there are some nights bede gets sentimental enough to apologize again.

nothing super romantical happens. they kiss like once, they hold hands occasionally. i dont think either of them are very physically affectionate. both are also asexual because i said so.

slightly more than friends. a bit less than lovers. just 2 people learning to work with the cards they were delt. 2 people who failed and support each other as they pick up the pieces.

huzzah.

[havin-a-wee]

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

[lotti-lyric]

Hihi! Can I request a MHA matchup please? I'm 16, he/it, and im bisexual <3

I'm 5'5, I have straight, short red hair with brown roots starting to come in. My eyes are hazel and they pretty big, I usually but eye liner on to make them appear more slender. I'm pretty pale, and I have light freckles all over my body. I usually wear more tight fitting cottagecore/dark academia clothes, or anything that is sage green!

I'm and INTP. I'm more introverted, but I tend to be very talkative and friendly to those I know and like. I consider myself to be a pretty approachable person as I usually have a smile on my face, and I am a optimistic realist who sees the most probable outcome but tries to look at it in a positive light. I'm pretty funny, artisitc, charasmatic and cuddly, I love physical touch between myself and people I consider my friends, little things like holding hands or hugging. I can be naive and bothering at times, when I don't get enough attention I get overly clingy and annoying. When I dont receive attention after asking I can become distant and irritated, not understanding why no one is paying attention. My mood changes pretty quickly, one moment I will be sad the next I'm beaming ear to ear. I'm impatient and i get very paranoid at times.

I'm someone who tends to find comfort in different kinds of media and then obsess over it for months. I've been obsessed with Harry Potter (dont support JKR) and BNHA for a very long time now, they are definitely my main interests atm. I love to draw, read, and play video games. One of my favorite things to do is go to the mall or just walk through thrift stores, as seeing all the clothes make me feel excited and sparks my creativity. I dislike heat and hot weather, my favorite season being fall and my favorite holiday being halloween. It also doesnt help my love for the fall season that my birthday is in October. I love spicy and savory foods, but I do occasionally get a sweet tooth and eat all the chocolate or strawberry shortcake in my house. I am a night owl and have a hard time wanting to get up in the early mornings. My favorite flowers are Snowdrops as they are so delicate and they remind me of my childhood. School is fairly easy to me, and I always get A's with the exception of a B or two. I love helping out my teachers or fellow classmates, but tend to stay away from larger groups, eating my lunch in classrooms or in the courtyard. My love language is physical touch and quality time!

I think thats it, thank you sm! I hope your day has been good so far <3

charlotte’s interlude 💗- hey!! i hope you’re having a good day!! ofc! i hope you enjoy this love, take care of yourself!! thank you, have an incredible day!!

warnings; swearing, paranoia, food

i match you with…

Uraraka Ochako!! (aka Uravity)

- this for you both!! ^^

- she has got it sooooo bad for you holy shit

- loves ur makeup but loves ur big eyes!!

- big eye club whoop whoot!!

- matching cottagecore matching cottagecore m-

- she’d never ever force you into a conversation but once you’re comfy with it, she’s sooooo happy!! you always have the best, energy filled discussions about the little things!!

- THE SMILES ITS TOO BRIGHT 😩 i need some sunglasses guys

- even before you two are together, you’re joined at the hip!! cuddling, leaning against each other during lunch outside, holding hands, laughing and cheering together

- not getting enough attention is never an issue with her!! she knows just when you need her and just like that she’s there!!

- she’s really amazing at quelling your paranoia, assuring you of what’s real and making sure the smile ends up back on your face!!

- when you’re into something, she’s into something!! you have so many inside jokes after u binged all the HP movies

- You, using a strand of her hair: aVEdEE KaDEbEE

- she is WHEEZING

- you both just walk around malls a lot, picking out little fits for each other and having fun in general

- ur upset? expect a beaming uraraka at the door with tissues, cute videos games, loads of sweets, and snowdrops just for u!!

[spyoikawa]

Peonies for Goshiki Tsutomu, you can write the confession however you please.

@2-player-game yay, another new character! Thank you for this request!

Also, I would figure people would know this seeing its goshiki, but just in case, ⚠️spoiler warning for the karasuno vs shiratorizawa game⚠️

Rion's Flower Shop: Peonies

(Goshiki Tsutomu)

♡romantic♡

Goshiki was REALLY clueless when it came to having a crush. And it didn't help that all his senpais had different ideas on how to woo a person.

"Do it in the spring with cherry blossoms, I see that in manga a lot!" -tendou

"Try writing a song or poem, thats something they can treasure forever, and its made just for them" -semi

"Just tell them, the worst that can happen is a rejection" -shirabu

He wasn't sure who's advice to take, so he ended up pushing it away for a while. He had to focus more on his volleyball matches anyways.

But thats harder to do than he thought, seeing how you never failed to miss a match.

Everytime he looked up, he could see you in the audience, watching the match as intently as possible. And if he was completely honest with himself, thats where it started. When he sees you watching the ball, and the players, and the court with a passion and support for your school.

And it was after one of these games, that goshiki spoke to you for the first time. Or rather, you spoke to him.

"Hey!" You piped up, "Goshiki!"

He nearly dropped all his stuff right then and there, and it took everything the team had not to laugh at him.

"Y/N! I mean- y/n, did you need something?" He stammered out

You grinned, happy to see he was willing to talk with you. "Yeah! I just wanted to let you know, you did great back there! The line-shot was incredible, and you looked so confident, like you knew you were gonna hit it no matter what! It was amazing!"

*goshiki.exe has stopped working*

Well what does he say now?! His crush is right in front of him, and they just complimented his play-

"You could be the ace someday!" You interrupted his thoughts.

That's it. Nope. Goshiki was a goner.

"Give me one second" he silently said to you, before whipping around, dragging his teammates around the corner. Everyone was a little confused at this.

"Um... goshiki...? You alright there?" Semi asked, "you look pale and red at the same time, I dont think that's norma-"

"WHAT DO I DO" he cut through his senpai's sentence, "I dont know what to do- I mean I know I could just tell them, but that seems to basic doesn't it?"

Shirabu rolled his eyes at this, "dude. Just do it. Or don't, if you dont feel like doing it, then say 'thanks for the compliment yada yada' move on and leave, not that hard"

Goshiki sucked in a breath, knowing he was right. "Okok, I got this"

He walked around the corner, facing you again.

You tilted your head a bit, "you ok? You look pale and red at the same time? You don't have a fever right?"

*cue muffled laughter of tendou and semi*

"I'm 100% a-ok, I am good, thank you for the compliment, and thank you for coming to our games, have a good day" he stated before walking away, leaving you to stare in confusion.

And now comes the hardest part for the both of you. The avoidance.

He really didn't want to go through that experience again, speaking to you, he felt like his heart would leap out of his throat and he doesn't want to be caught like that.

His solution? Don't speak to you for months. It was rough, seeing you enjoyed chatting with him about random things and volleyball. And it was rough on him to have to avoid you, simply because he didn't know how to handle this sort of thing. And he went all out to make sure you didn't cross paths. He would do a full 180 in the hallways, even if he was talking with someone else or his class was in the other direction, after practice he would clean up at speeds that freaked out the team, and did his extra practice someplace else, knowing that you come to the gym after school.

Time passed, and soon came the next game, against karasuno.

It was rough on everyone, the team fought so hard, only to be swept down by the new team who came to the top out of nowhere. It was crushing to everyone, the 3rd years played their last game and they were so confident in winning.

Goshiki was by himself, packing his stuff before you came up behind him.

"Goshiki?" You quietly asked.

He jumped slightly at this, and panic flooded his senses when he realized you were here.

"Y/n- what are you doing here? The game ended ages ago, why didn't you go already?"

He was nervous, but he'd be damned if he showed it.

"I wanted to speak with you," you started, "I'm really sorry about the game, I know you were excited and ready for it"

He sucked in a breath, not ready for the pep talk that would allow the fact that they lost to really settle in.

You continued, not noticing, "and the thing is, you did your absolute best, so it doesn't matter! Because I know that despite the outcome of the game, you are the better volleyball player, and- wait are you ok?"

You had paused when you realized he was looking up at you. And before you knew it, he was hugging you.

"Please stop," he barely whispered, "please don't say that. Just let me have this and it can be said without you speaking"

You loosened your body, releasing the initial tension that took you when he embraced you.

"Right sorry, I'll be quiet now" you whispered.

After what felt like ages, he released you and wordlessly gathered his stuff. You walked beside him in comple silence to the bus stop.

"Hey... ive gathered my thoughts now" he mumbled, voice raw from the earlier game, where he had used so much breath and yelling.

You looked up in curiosity, "what are you talking about?"

He inhaled sharply.

"Im sorry for avoiding you for a while, and I'm sorry for telling you to stop talking earlier. I was upset. I was so focused on volleyball and what would happen, but the season's over now. So I guess I can say it now"

The bus he would take pulled up, interrupting him for a second, opening the door.

"I like you, and I wasn't sure what to do"

And with that he pecked you on the cheek, and walked into the bus without another word. Leaving you stunned.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

*across the road*

"👁👄👁"

"👁👄👁"

"👁👄👁"

"😐"

"D-did he really just do that?" Tendou stammered out in confusion.

"I guess so...?!" Semi's eyes were wide open, watching your shocked figure, still frozen at the stop after the bus had left.

"At least he did it. Horribly. But he did it" Shirabu sighed, "what do you think senpai?"

Ushijima looked over, realizing he was being addressed, before shrugging.

"Im glad he did what I told him to do" he stated simply before walking away.

"WHAT-"

I'm sorry if this was bad, I'm really not familiar with goshiki, but it was still fun to write! If you want me to try again, let me know and I will fix it!

God I really feel like I messed up sorry-

But still, thank you again for the request, it let's me try new things! And to those of you who aren't aware, this is a part of my event, so go check it out please!

[mochees]

"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗜𝗜"

-> headcanons, how they tell you they love you for the first time, part two!

characters: sakusa, iwaizumi, x fem!reader

warnings: fem reader, ✨healthy relationships✨, oikawa being oikawa

wc: 3.6K

a/n: WOAH okay uh did NOT expect that last set to be that popular,,,, y'all thirsty for love huh? me too anyway i thought id do a part two since i honestly really enjoyed writing the first set and my brain is vibrating with ✨thoughts✨ and seeing how much love it got really made me feel how i haven't felt in so long, so thank you! maybe ill turn this into a series so lemme know if u wanna see someone specific👀👀😏 also sorry for like posting and then dipping again lmao thats just my social media brand i have the attention span of a fucking worm

read part 1 here!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

okok i know its like common for sakusa to be shown as not interested in PDA (in private or public) unless hes feeling "needy"

BUT i believe that after a few weeks, maybe months if he's still unsure, he would definitely be much more comfortable with PDA

like, if its been a long time and your both serious about it and not just in a relationship to be in a relationship he starts to notice your routine

he notices the changes you make so that he's comfortable and so that you can be close to him without him being worried about icky yicky germy wormys (someone take away my thought privileges)

so now that he knows that you take care of your hygiene and exactly what you do for it, slowly he's wrapping an arm around you in 30° heat while you're both sweating

slowly he's "forgetting" his mask in the car for dates

slowly, but surely, he understands that a little bit of exposure, isn't a bad thing.

"kiyoomi?" your voice brought sakusa's eyes to yours where he could see the concern behind them.

"are you okay y/n?"

you'd decided, after three weeks of intense training and barely seeing your boyfriend, that you wanted just one day and one night with him. just the two of you, you know he'd never admit it, but he needed a break.

after atsumu decided to try out some new plays that didn't start off to well, sakusa had been silently groaning everytime he had to reach for something. he was excellent at making sure he wasn't overworking himself, and he wasn't, its just that the human body is an absolute wonder, and not in a good way. sometimes things that should have mildly injured you, left you with a tiny scrape, or a bruise or a very quick-to-fade red mark, and sometimes you drop a phone on your face and break your fucking jaw.

you offer him a gentle smile that completely washes away the concern in your eyes.

"im fine omi! but you," you reach your hands up to rest on both sides of his face turning his head side to side, studying it intensly.

"you're looking a little pale. and possibly grey."

"how do you mean y/n-chan?"

for such an intelligent man sometimes he really could be a himbo.

"i mean that i think you might be sick, baby."

sakusa stared blankly at you, as if he couldn't fathom the possibility of 'himself, sick?'

"omi? kiyoomi!" you nabbed his attention, "i think you're sick, and we best go home."

"but-" he started, but you were quick to cut him off knowing exactly what he was about to say.

"kiyoomi, it's inevitable. even if you were the worlds most decked out with ppe, and the worlds leading force in hygeine, you'd still end up catching a cold at least once. that's just how the world works baby. and don't worry about the date, all i want is to spend some time with you."

you ended up practically dragging your sad little puppy of a boyfriend back up the complex stairs and into his unit before settling him on the couch and getting to work.

"ill get you some water, you just sit here and relax. i don't want to think about what would happen if those dumbasses didnt have you there next week, bokuto and hinata would probably crack their skulls!" your attempt at a little light hearted humour helped sakusa forget for a moment, but he was quick to go back to not understanding how he was sick.

"thank you." he took the glass from your hand and rested it between his legs, when he noticed the rubber gloves you had clutched at your side. he knew what they were for, those were his cleaning gloves.

"what are you doing? you can't stay you'll..." he paused. "you'll get sick too."

"i'll be fine omi-omi! you just relax and drink lots of water, ill take care of this." you turned towards the wall with a soft smile before muttering, "ill take care of you."

sakusa watched you clean, the bucket full of diluted bleach, the duster, a cloth, and his cleaning gloves. he loved the way that they were too big for you, the way you kept having to pull them up every so often to keep them on. he loved the way that everytime he finished his glass of water, you were right there to fill it back up.

you don't even remember seeing, or hearing him lift himself from his spot on the couch and make his way over to where you were humming and covering the counters in the diluted solution. you felt a pair of big arms wrap around you, a chin on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.

"thank you, y/n. i love you."

thank god he caught a cold, or he might never have realized just how lucky he was.

Iwaizumi Hajime

family man

is a family man but not just ANY family man

yes, it's important to him that you like and respect his parents and vice versa

but its just slightly more important to him that you get along with his friends, his found family because im a SUCKER for the classic lilo n stitch trope

he knows that many people say that its his life and he doesn't need anyones approval etc.

but iwaizumi believes different, he believes that he doesn't need approval in the literal sense but rather approval through watching you interact with his friends and his family and how you do your best to learn about them and make time for them, even though you dont have to

and he thinks it's absolutely enthralling

the way your eyes light up when you see that book his mom has been talking about wanting to read and picking it up with no hesitation

how you're able to almost flawlessly keep up with issei and takahiro's antics while also making sure they don't go too far, something even iwaizumi struggles with

and most importantly, how effortlessly you connect with his childhood best friend.

there were many things that Iwaizumi Hajime enjoyed, volleyball, athletics, godzilla of course, spending time with three dumbasses (but he’ll never admit that) and a little while ago, he added you to that list.

you were so effortlessly able to connect with his team, his friends, and his family but most importantly, the way you were able to connect with Oikawa brought a smile to his face.

“oh, iwa-chan~, what are you admiring?” there he went again, Iwa thought, Tohru Oikawa’s dumb smirk and hyper awareness of his team, both on and off court. how he wated to head-butt him in the face. but, he showed restraint. after all, he wouldn’t want loserkawa to use you as a human shield from his head. so, he ignored the urge. but it passed as soon as he saw tohrus arm arond your shoulders, crossed feet and leaning on you ever so slightly while he took a few occasional swigs from his water.

and just like that, the incredible restraint vanished like morning mist.

you could practically see the steam coming off of his hot skin, and the vein popping out of his forehead, when you noticed what had him so heated. “trashykawa get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”

“excuse me!” he pouted, “my hands are clean and tailored! just like any responsible setters would be!” he stuck his lip out farther and gave you his irresistable puppy-dog eyes. “y/n-chan, i’m not filthy! am i?” he whined.

and, as the word suggests, his look was truly irresistable and you stumbled over your words. “n-no! of course not tohru!”

“see, iwa-chan! y-n thinks i’m squeaky clean!” his dumb smirk appeared again, and rather than continue with flirtykawas obvious games, Iwa opted for the less violen approach.

“don’t flatter yourself, dirtykawa. she’s just being nice.” he growled. “I’m done for the day, i have a project due. y-n.” he offered his hand to you like the gentleman he is not forcing you to take it, but the look in his eyes told you that he wanted you too.

“see you later, tohru!” you gave him a quick hug and intertwined your fingers with iwa’s.

now, technically, girls aren’t allowed in the boys locker room but since it’s after hours and just you and iwaizumi no one cared. to be fair though, literally no one knew except the team so, whatever you didn’t complain you got to watch yout ultra ripped boyfriend change. quality time. you thought, when you noticed him mid-change with his shirt over his head, resting on his arms. as any good girlfriend would, despite the devil on your shoulder, you came up behind him placing your hands on his seriously broad shoulders. taking notice of the tension, you started to work at the muscles. your care was quickly rewarded with a quiet sigh, and relaxed shoulders.

“hajime?” you continued rubbing at the tight fibers, “are you alright? you’re usually the one telling me im holding too much tension.” you giggled and he turned to face you placing one hand against the side of your face.

“hajime?” it came out shaky and worried.

“i’m okay,” he smiled “it’s just,” hesitation. he was never one to hesitate.

“i know i have no right to be but seeing oikawa so clingy with you it just, i dont know, it really gets to me i guess? he, just, he gets all the girls, all the attention, and i don’t want to-” you stopped him.

“sweetheart, it’s okay to be jealous or upset i’m not going to be angry, you have a right to your feelings. I understand how you feel, i never mean to flirt with him, if i ever have, i mean i don’t know, you know how bad of a flirt i am,” he chuckles at that. “it’s just that i know how important he is to you and you are so, so important to me and i want to be able to understand whats important to you, so you never have to choose between us, because that wouldn’t be fair. i love you, hajime iwaizumi, and everything about you.”

you expected him to be shocked, hell, he thought he would be shocked when or if you said it, but he wasn’t. and that’s exactly how he knew what to say next.

“i love you too, y/n l/n.” pressing a soft kiss against your lips.

“geez, it only took you two a century and forever.” someone snarked.

hajime chucked a towel at him “get out assykawa!” and he did, he bolted through the door laughing like the demon matchmaker he thought he was.

© sacchanwrites, 2021

do not repost, copy, or claim.

previous | next

[shoezuki]

This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.

If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse

SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 

I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 

I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.

Dream’s Initial Tweets

Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 

worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 

there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.

Dream’s Response Video

Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 

Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 

Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)

His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 

He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:

Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video

Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 

Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video

that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said

Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao

The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report

Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 

The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).

I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 

Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 

You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 

It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)

If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 

Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 

It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 

Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture

there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right

the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 

Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)

Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this

Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 

either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right

they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted

geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead

Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism

Dream’s Report

The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 

This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:

It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 

This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:

It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 

But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole

Dream’s Report: Criticisms

Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student

But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 

that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 

The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;

Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 

i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.

but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 

I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 

But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused. 

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday. 

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them. 

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this? 

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him? 

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores? 

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry. 

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either. 

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

[beifongsss]

birthday [sero]

Pairing: Sero x reader

Requested?: Yes! a lovely anon said: “Ahh im so happy to hear you're taking bnha requests!!! So recently it was resident tape boys birthday,,, i was wondering if you could do something where it leads into the two slow dancing in his room?? Thank you so much, i really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to crank out amazing works 🥺🥺”

Summary: (late birthday post for this boy) You try to get the Bakusquad to help you set up a small birthday celebration for Sero. It seems to be going as planned but little do you know, Mina’s main goal is to get the two of you to confess your feelings.

w.c.~ 1.7k

.masterlist. taglist form.

my first time writing for bnha so i’m sorry if it’s not that good! also idk if i’d write for sero again bc it was low key hard 

~

It had been an exhausting day, with you running around trying to keep the Bakusquad under control.

You had been planning Sero’s surprise birthday party and the hardest part about it was making sure that everyone acted as though you had forgotten that there was something to celebrate. There had been many close calls, with Kaminari almost asking him what flavor cake he wanted and Kirishima almost shouting a loud ‘happy birthday!’ when Sero first walked into class.

You had been quick to jump over his desk, slapping your hand across his mouth and earning yourself multiple confused looks as you tried to explain that it was a new game you and Kirishima were playing. It was the dumbest excuse ever and you could hear Bakugou cackling in the background but Sero hadn’t commented, instead choosing to give you a worried nod before slipping into his chair. 

As soon as the bell had rung, you had sprinted out of the classroom, pulling Bakugou along behind you as you motioned for Kirishima and Kaminari to distract Sero. Even though Bakugou muttered multiple profanities under his breath as he followed you, he dutifully helped you pick out the materials you needed, claiming that if he was being forced to attend some shitty party he was going to make sure that it wouldn’t be a bad one. 

Sneaking back into the dorms was the hardest part and you could faintly hear Sero in the common room as he asked Mina where you were. Truth be told, he was pretty upset. He had been waiting for this day for months, ever since you promised him that you would spend his birthday with him doing whatever he wanted. Now that the day had arrived, you were nowhere to be found and he was wondering why you had told him that and then gone back on your word. 

You rushed into the kitchen to check on Sato, who had happily agreed to bake a cake for Sero, before sneaking into the elevator. Once you had reached Sero’s floor, you managed to sneak into his room, knowing that he always left it unlocked because he hated carrying his key around. Even with Bakugou’s condescending comments, the two of you managed to set up pretty quickly. Balloons were floating around the room, some covering the ground along with some confetti. There were streamers hung up all around the room, a sparkly banner positioned right above his bed displaying the two words you were yet to tell your crush friend. 

Once you were done with the set up, you stepped back, brushing your hands off as you looked around in wonder. 

“Thanks, Bakugou,” you said, smiling at the grumpy boy. “This is gonna be great, I can already tell.”

Bakugou simply scoffed before throwing himself onto Sero’s bed. Shaking your head, you went back down to the kitchen, grabbing Mina’s attention beforehand. She joined you in the kitchen, the two of you praising Sato for his amazing work on Sero’s birthday cake. After handing the cake over to Mina, she went up to his room and you went into the common room. Kaminari and Kirishima exchanged a subtle glance as you nodded at them and they quickly said their goodbyes to Sero before heading up to his room as well. You sighed softly as you plopped down onto the couch, leaning your head on Sero’s shoulder. He glanced down at you, smiling softly when you reached up to scratch the tip of your nose.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” you said, breaking the silence first. Sero’s heart swelled at your words before shrinking back down again when you continued speaking. “We have that quiz tomorrow and you haven’t studied.”

Sero’s smile dropped in annoyance and you had to stop yourself before you could apologize and tell him that you did indeed remember his birthday. You shuffled off the couch, heading to the elevator before turning around. “You coming? We can study in your room. I’ll even let you pick the music!”

He trailed after you quietly, trying to hide his disappointment as the elevator ascended. When you reached his room, you stood behind him, earning you a confused glance because he knew that you knew that his room was unlocked. So why weren’t you opening it?

“Surprise!”

Sero stumbled back slightly as he looked around his room. Bakugou was still on his bed, a scowl on his face as he scrolled through his phone. Kaminari and Kirishima were wearing party hats, party horns being held between their lips as they made a racket. Mina was standing in the middle of the room, a large smile on her face as she held a delicious-looking cake. The rest of your classmates were also there, each of them holding a gift and chanting ‘happy birthday!’. 

“Happy birthday, tape boy,” you said softly, wrapping your arms around him from behind. You were smiling widely, happy that things had gone according to plan no matter how many times your friends had almost ruined the surprise. Sero turned around and hugged you tightly, his heart leaping into his throat as he realized you had done this all for him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, grinning widely before turning to face his friends. 

The party went well, both you and Sero flitting from group to group but never quite spending any time together. Everyone was aware of the lingering glances you would send to each other and as day turned into evening, everyone began to make excuses and leave, making sure to wish Sero a final ‘happy birthday’ before they left. Eventually, it was only the Bakusquad left and you had fun filming a silly unwrapping video of each of Sero’s gifts. After that was done, Bakugou was the first to leave, stating that it was way too late and that he needed to sleep. Kaminari was the next to go, saying that Yaoyorozu had agreed to give him a late night review session for the upcoming test. 

After a few more minutes, Mina let out a fake yawn and tugged Kirishima off of the ground. She sent you a sly smile, pausing at the door and turning to face Sero. 

“Well it’s getting late, we should go,” she said, smiling sweetly before turning back to you. “See you tomorrow (Y/N/N) don’t forget to tell Sero that thing you mentioned. Bye!”

The door shut before either of you could react and you laughed nervously before turning to face Sero. He was looking at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you drifted back into his room. 

“What was she talking about?”

“N-Nothing!” you squeaked, turning away from him and flopping onto his bed. “We really should do some studying though.”

Sero hummed, not replying to you before he turned and opened up his laptop. He connected to his speakers before turning his chair to face you. “So what do you wanna listen to?”

“Whatever you want,” you replied, glad that he was choosing to ignore Mina’s words. “I told you I’d let you pick the music!”

You pulled out your notebook, smiling as you heard Sero mutter to himself. After a few seconds of silence, he let out a sound of approval and you perked up as you heard soft music fill the room.

“Well that’s a bit different from your usual music choices,” you teased, frowning slightly when Sero didn’t reply. You turned around, seeing him standing a few inches away from you and causing you to jump. “Geez, Sero. Give me a little warning next time!”

Wordlessly, Sero held his hand out and you took it, giving him a questioning gaze. He pulled you forward and you stumbled slightly, falling into his chest as he led you to the center of the room. He chuckled at you before placing your hands around his neck and putting his own around your waist. You hesitantly laid your head on his shoulder, your heart pounding as the two of you started swaying softly to the music. 

“Thank you,” Sero said softly, his voice barely louder than the music.

“What for?” you replied. 

“Everything.”

“It’s your birthday, silly,” you said. “I wouldn’t have forgotten it. You deserve to be celebrated.”

Sero was glad that you couldn’t see his face as he broke into a bright blush. Still holdin you close, he cleared his throat before speaking again. “Not just for that. I mean for everything, (Y/N). You do so much for me. But yes, thank you for today as well.”

You pulled back slightly, smiling up at Sero. “You do so much for me too, Sero. I love you.”

The music faded for a few seconds as the previous song ended and the new one began. The silence was overwhelming and you felt yourself flush under Sero’s gaze as you realized what you had just said. Before you could fully pull away and run to your room to hide, Sero carefully cupped your cheek and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before nudging your head back to its spot on his shoulder. 

“Is that what Mina wanted you to tell me?” he asked, laughing softly when you nodded. “I love you too.”

“Happy birthday, Sero,” you said, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the moment. 

“Happy birthday to me indeed.”

~

A few hours later, Mina Ashido was rushing through the dorms when she realized that she didn’t have her phone. She didn’t bother to knock as she burst into Sero’s room, immediately locating the device and placing it in her pocket. 

“Sorry for just bursting..” Mina began, turning to face Sero but trailing off when she saw the two of you curled up in his bed sound asleep. “In.”

Smiling, she fished her phone out of her pocket and snapped a few pictures before sprinting out of the room to locate Kirishima and Kaminari, making sure to close the door quietly as she left. She couldn’t help but giggle wildly as she showed everyone the picture, knowing that when you awoke the next morning you would be pissed. But she could deal with that. 

She was just happy that her two friends had finally gotten together. 

[peaches-writes]

okay without you

member: jisung wc: 1.4k  genre: fluff, make-up au note: a charlie burg song oops + same universe as before one a.m. but that’s not really relevant to the plot lol dedic: @akutagawahakuryuunosuke hi im sorry i couldn’t write ur request !!! i’ll do better next time promise

[11:38 PM] Jisung comes up the stage alone, automatically making you look around the dimly-lit cafe for any sign of Changbin and Chan from your all-encompassing view standing at the back of the audience. Finding them seated crisscrossed at the very front of the crowd without much difficulty, your eyes then look back up to your friend (or borderline ex-friend, ex-date?, ex-somehow boyfriend you’re not even sure at this point) and only then do you notice the guitar he’s carried on the makeshift stage with him.

“Jeongin, can you dim the lights please?” Jisung asks through the microphone as he sits down and adjusts his guitar on his lap, motioning to the bright lighting. Across from you, Jeongin flicks the switch on on end of the counter he’s been manning alone all night, effectively switching out the light bulbs for the white fairy lights that give a softer glow in your surroundings.

The crowd cheers at this. J.One has never sang solo live before—let alone with a guitar.

“So, uh...hi, it’s J.One of 3racha but I’m just Jisung for tonight since I’ll be singing.” In the darker setting, Jisung’s voice unconsciously reaches lower but he still expresses himself in the same awkward way. Clearing his throat and strumming his guitar once (much to the cheers and applause of your juniors present in the crowd), he continues, “Anyway, since this month’s Open Mic theme is about love—Valentine’s and all—and 3racha’s not really known for love songs, we played a game to decide who’ll perform solo tonight and—and here we are.”

A scattered chorus of ‘Go Jisung’s echo around the crowd and even you decide on joining along without really expecting that he’d take particular notice.

You‘re not in good terms recently, after all, but that didn’t mean you’re not going to cheer him on his first solo performance. In your heart and mind, he’s still someone dear to you first and foremost.

But you don’t see it in the darkness of your surroundings and your distance from the stage that Jisung heard you loud and clear, and that hearing your voice blending in the chorus reaction made him even more nervous.

He was nervous and surprised enough seeing you show up to this Open Mic despite him getting on your bad side and now he hears you cheering him on, as if he didn’t just slowly disappeared from the face of the Earth throughout this whole semester when you just started dating and made you worry so much that you got into an argument about it.

Jisung suddenly felt like he wanted the building to crumble over him but also sing the song he prepared confidently and finally walk over to you.

So he strums his guitar again to calm his shaky hands. “Uh, yeah, that’s that.” He chuckles through the heat rising up his neck. “Performers only have five minutes and I only managed to prepare one song because I couldn’t practice much this week so let’s get it over with.”

He then takes a deep breath as he begins to play a familiar intro. “This one’s for anyone out here tonight trying to figure out what their next move’s going to be. Happy Valentine’s Day, Block 325.”

You wonder what he means—only figuring it out when he begins singing.

“Saying things I don’t believe, and your love casts its shadow on the things I do.” He sings softly, the audience immediately growing silent and swaying along with their bodies. “And I can hear so clearly all the words I wish I said, you’re stuck in my head.”

Though you haven’t talked properly in almost a month, Chan and Changbin happily communicated to you significant happenings to Jisung—keeping up with each other made you fight, after all. You’re informed well-enough that you’re the only person he’s not okay with right now.

And he knows how much you love this particular song.

“But I only think of you, will we be together soon? I’m thrown on the wayside, you’re planted in my mind, but I don’t wanna be okay without you.”

No one claps or cheers this time unlike in the past performances of the night. It only took listening to the way Jisung’s nervousness would slip in between the words to know that he was singing so sincerely.

It makes your heart melt, listening to him, that you can’t pull your eyes away from him as he sings his heart out. Whether it meant something else or not, it didn’t matter at the moment.

You just wanted to make it up with him at this point.

And before you know it, the song’s over and he’s trying to catch your eyes in the darkness and distance, finding you after with much difficulty, excusing yourself from people and making your way outside.

Jisung follows suit once he’s thanked the crowd a few times, passing his guitar haphazardly to Chan before chasing you outside.

[11:47 PM] Jisung finds you looking up at the canopy of trees on the sidewalk as he exits the cafe, hands in the pockets of your hoodie to keep you warm against the cold February air.

You see him approach hurriedly even with your eyes cast upwards and you quickly prepared yourself for a long monologue he always does when he’s upset any of his friends, only to be surprised by a tight hug from him.

“I’m so sorry.” He mumbles against the crook of your neck simply, no planned monologue this time. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

Your shoulders relax under his touch as you hesitantly hug him back. “I know.” You reply after a while, lifting your hands up to his sides and hugging him back.

But still, he insists on his apologies like a chant and it breaks your heart even further, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

“Stop saying you’re sorry too much,” You gather all of your remaining strength to say as light-heartedly as you can, patting his back. “it’s okay, I understand.”

“But I left you.” He points out, effectively making you freeze in his arms. “...and pushed you away.”

Even with such seemingly vague and simple words, you know exactly what he meant and its weight in your relationship. And at that moment, you’ve finally come to terms with your mixed feelings that has been building up throughout this whole semester.

You’re ready to forgive and say sorry to him now.

“I know,” You reply, pulling away slowly once you hear his breath shake next to your ear. “I understand, seriously. You were...busy and stressed and anxious and you needed time alone. I’m sorry I kept pestering you.”

His eyes travel down to his feet, the feeling of shame overpowering his relief that you’re finally communicating properly again. “But you were only looking out for me. I should’ve confided in you instead of pushing you away.” He then scratches the nape of his neck, the words seemingly getting caught up in his throat. You’ve never talked this seriously before and it felt weird—like he doesn’t ever want to cross you again. “I’ll do better, I promise, if you let me.”

“I know.” You smile, trying to catch his gaze after by tilting your head down a bit. “Jisung, look at me, please.”

He looks at you slowly and hesitantly, relief finally overcoming him now that he’s seeing you smile after a while. “Yeah?”

You purse your lips nervously once, shifting your weight awkwardly. “...I love you.” You mumble under your breath, low enough for only the two of you to hear against the distant background chatter and the muffled music. “I’ll try to be more patient and understanding from now on...if you let me, too.”

This time, it’s him frozen on the spot as he contemplates how, even after the chaos that is your past semester, you can still say that to him.

And it’s the first time he’s heard it from you too.

But he knows you mean it—you never throw those words around for just anybody.

“I—I love you too.” He decides to reply after a while, lips breaking out in a grin. “I’m sorry that took so long.”

You nod understandingly, “Like I said, I’ll be more patient, promise.”

“And I’ll communicate better.” He concludes, naturally pulling you into a hug once again. This time, he plants a shy kiss to your crown, swaying you gently from side to side.

Getting to hug you once again after weeks, Jisung finally understands the complete meaning of your favorite song. He doesn’t want to be okay without you, too.

m.list

[crafty-business4130]

Ive notice a rise in contend for Badtimewithscar recently which is just amazing to see but our other barley touched upon hermit duplicate, Truesymmetry, still is lacking in awesome stuff so im here today to rectify that

Here's my take on Truesymmetry, I got the idea  and based it off of the season 2 tour episode False did back in season 5. which can be found here

Truesymmetry in my books, is a copy of false. They split when False went through the portal to go onto season 3. False went to the portal just fine and wound up in season 3 but a version of her did not 

 That false (aka Truse) fell into the nether instead and became stuck in season 2 of hermitcraft.      

alone

 For.  Three.  Years

She spends the next month hoping they would notice that she's gone and come back for her but realizes pretty soon that they're not

And then goes into finding a way out

She goes through the admins bases hoping to find something to help her get a potral working

she learns how to read galactic

Gets familiar with how commands work and function using left over notes

But It not enough to get her out, So she has to fill in the holes

And she start to learn how to break the game, how to bend it, how to change the code without admin privileges

She basically becomes a hacker

For the first year she still held a hope for the Hermits to come back for her and she works half on her builds and busy work and the other half on going through everyone's bases

year two Truse has come to face that they truly are not coming back for her and she buckles down on learning Galactic and how the game works on a fundamental level

Some point in year three she get a potral working

But

It's not perfect in fact it's a little wonky, she knows that going in may not end well but she beyond desperate at this point

She goes through And wines up in season 5 of hermitcraft, in the middle of False's base in fact! not that she realizes this yet

everything seems fine for the first three seconds but then Truse realizes her vision is twisted up

You know how sometimes YouTubers will flip the image when recording to avoid copyright

What should be right is now left And she's walking into things not there 

It's messing with her head and it becomes to much

So Truse trys to get her bearings and ends up a little bit down the road in False's base and just curls up in a corner and just cries but guess who finds her and helps her through her hard time?

Badtimewithscar!

He happens to be in the area and helps her clam down. Then they get to talking and BT mentions that they are at falsesymmetry's base and Truse just, Breaks down again because if there's been a false here the whole time then of course no one knew she was gone.

She was replaced and left behind .

She's angry, shes upset, but mostly she feels betrayed

So back to False she finds the potral Truse came through and goes in. She gets herself suck in season 2. She decides hey this is a good time to take a tour of my old stuff! :D

 so she goes around but it becomes apparent really quickly that “hey this looks like something I built but I have zero memory of making this.” She get down to her lab and finds all of the notes and mad scribbling Truse wrote down. Along with a Journal, which was first started in an effort to keep sane and keep track of time. It goes into detail of how the years went for Truse and false feels so bad for her. 

 False At first had been suspicious of everything but the journal and the state of the lab convinced her

Though now False is stuck but thankfully not for long, the Hermits notice she's missing and find the potral in her base. Xisuma gets involved and everyone gets to revisit season 2. not everyone was aware that false was suck, just that someone found a way to visit season 2. Xisuma makes a portal thats safe to go in and out for everyone

Woo

Everyone comes back after going through a trip down memory lane along with false. False tracks drown Truse and they talk. Truse desided that she's going to stick with BT. He's been really nice to her and she honestly can't even look at the Hermits she called friends without tearing up in anger. Which is just doubly enforced after False and her talk it out.  The fact they went back for false when they didn't for her hurts just so, so much but she holds it together long enough for false to leave.

On the bright side Badtime now has a friend. Up till then he's just been vibing by himself, trying to keep himself from literally falling apart. He picks up photography as a Hobby and goes around to everyone's builds to take pictures every now and then. This is how he had came across Truse. Now the two of the travel together. its a bit rocky at first but they get along well as time pases

Truse starts going by the name well Truse and makes a set of goggles that flip her version the right way around. BT acts as a second pair of eyes while Truse is making them. it takes a few weeks to a month to get them working. 

[anythingandeverything1d]

Stressed Out

You were escorted into the arena by two guards, they each had an arm on you and were pushing their way through the crowd of screaming fans who had collected outside while you were arriving. People were pointing, recording, and taking pictures of you, all while trying to grab onto you and follow you inside. Your body was exhausted, mentally and physically. You were beyond stressed and you felt as if your body was losing the battle of life. You made it inside and took a breath, leaning against the cold brick wall. The guards stood nearby, giving you space but making sure you were okay. Harry hadn't arrived yet, but you wish he had gotten there first. You wanted nothing more than a warm hug and someone to tell you everything was going to be okay. Your body was shaking, your heart rate had doubled and you felt as if you could barely breathe. 

You slumped to the floor, your back still against the wall, your face buried in your knees. You closed your eyes and thought back to simpler times. The days where Harry would surprise you at home, he would walk in carrying flowers and cupcakes, the biggest smile on his face. You would stay inside and watch movies all night while ordering pizza and laughing while he told you all of the dad jokes he had come up with on the plane. You would sleep in until noon, snuggling in bed most of the day and catching up on everything you had missed while he had been gone. In the afternoon you would get dressed only to go out to your favorite park and walk around, ending up at your favorite ice cream parlor where Harry would sample each and every flavor until deciding to get the exact same one he always got, Christmas Pudding. Those were the days. The days when your relationship was still private and fans only speculated what was going on. 

You and Harry had been dating for over a year now, and originally your plan was to keep the relationship a secret and as private as possible. Of course Harry’s fans were dedicated and involved, they had quickly speculated that the two of you were dating but nothing had been posted or confirmed. Thats the way you liked things, you could still go out to the store and not be swarmed with people or have to have guards tag along with you. It had been a month or so ago, you and Harry had gone out to dinner and a pap caught the two of you mid kiss. The news spread quickly and then Harry had confirmed it in an interview and then also mentioned you would be touring with him. Now halfway through the tour, you were breaking down. Fans had taken quite the liking to you, which at first you had been grateful for, but now it was a little overwhelming for someone who wasn't quite used to being in the spotlight and was considered “normal”. 

“(y/n)!” Harrys concerned voice echoed through the walls backstage. You looked up, tears in your eyes as he knelt in front of you. He opened his arms and you climbed into them, breaking into sobs. “Shhh...its okay love.” he whispered into your hair. “Are you okay? What happened?”

You tried controlling your breathing but were struggling. You gripped him tighter and tried explaining. “Th-they-they-they were all around us and-and-they -they wouldn't let go. They just kept pulling on me and I-I couldn't see where we were going. Everywhere I looked-there was -there was a phone recording me and-”

“Shh...Im sorry babe. I should've been there.” Harry pressed a kiss to your forehead and just held you until you had calmed down a little. Your breathing had improved and he had pulled you to your feet, escorting you to the dressing room. You sat on the couch and looked in the mirror. You had big black bags under your eyes which were now red and puffy from crying, you looked a lot thinner, and you almost didn't recognize yourself.  Harry was running his fingers through his hair, you knew you were the cause of his stress which only made you feel worse about everything. He looked at you and sighed, walking over. “I think you should try getting some rest...I have rehearsal but after we can get dinner okay?” You nodded and he wrapped his blanket around your body, tucking you in. He kissed you softly and smiled, “Get some sleep babe, it’ll make you feel better.” you smiled and whispered I love you as he walked out. As soon as the door had closed you sat up. You hadn't actually gotten more than an hours worth of sleep every night for over a week now. Part of it was due to stress, the other part was that you just didn't sleep well when you weren't in your own bed. Normally when you were traveling with Harry he slept with you, making you feel at home and sleep fairly normally. This tour however had been different. He would go from performing to writing and recording, leaving very little time together. On top of not sleeping, you hadn't really been eating either. The thought of food made you feel sick, you felt like someone was always either judging what you were eating, how you were eating, or why you were eating. You had been judged on your weight, your body, and your looks more than you could count. You received more comments on your body image than you ever thought possible and it had made you extremely self conscious. 

A little over an hour later you heard a knock at the door. You stood up confused, Harry would've just walked in... You opened it and found a man smiling. “Hi, you must be (y/n)?”

“Yeah...”

“I’m Dr. Ken. Mr. Styles talked to me earlier.”

“Okay...is Harry okay?”

“Harry’s fine yes, I’m actually here for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes, Harry was a little concerned...he mentioned you may have been feeling overwhelmed lately. You may not be sleeping well, or eating...” 

You didn't answer just crossed your arms and stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry but-”

“Dr. Ken.” Harry’s voice cut in from around the corner. He was sweaty from rehearsal, his shirt slung over his shoulder. Harry shook Dr. Kens hand and invited him into the room. You stood in the doorway not moving or talking and he came over with an exhausted look on his face. “Babe...”

“Harry what the hell.”

“You're not okay! You need to talk to someone, you are actually scaring me. I worry that one day you're going to drop over dead from not eating or not getting any sleep. Its not okay...I don't want to lose you...I don't want you to go home..but you cant continue on like this. I cant watch you kill yourself. I cant lose you.” You bit your lip, tears forming in your eyes. You had no idea Harry was so worried. You hadn't even realized that he had realized you weren't doing well. Harry hugged you and gripped your hand tightly while pulling you over to the couch. “Let him help...” Harry whispered. 

You looked into his green eyes and nodded. You never wanted to hurt or stress Harry out. Dr. Ken sat next to you taking your vitals. He seemed a little concerned but didn't say anything. Harry stood behind the couch pacing anxiously. “(y/n) your body is extremely dehydrated...when was the last time you had some water today?”

You thought about it, and weren't exactly sure. Normally you drank more water than your body every needed but you had no idea the last time you had taken a drink. “I’m not sure..”

“Harry, why don't you grab her a water. She needs to get fluids into her body..” Harry nodded and grabbed two bottles of water. He handed one to you, and dropped the other next to your side. You took a sip, appeasing Harry for a moment. 

“So why don't you tell me a little bit about how you've felt the past few weeks.” Dr. ken asked. You looked back at Harry anxiously. You were afraid at how he was going to react.. you knew he loved you but what if he thought you couldn't handle the spotlight...what if that was the end of the line and he ended things with you because of it. Dr. Ken sensed your apprehension and nodded to Harry. Harry didn't want to leave, he was very reluctant but after an encouraging nod from Dr. Ken he sighed deeply. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I have to get ready for the show. If you need anything, don't feel bad about interrupting okay?”

You nodded and he kissed you softly. You smiled and watched him leave. Dr. Ken looked at you again with a gentle smile. “Lets try again, what have you been feeling lately?” You sighed and let it out. You told him about the stress with fans, your body image, being perfect, being someone Harry should date. You told him about not being comfortable on tour, not spending time with Harry, your anxiety about being overcrowded when out and about. Everything building up in your body was spilling out. You felt a weight roll off your shoulder. Dr. Ken said nothing, he wasn't taking notes, wasn't judging you. He was just listening. He listened to you talk for almost an hour. You shared how you were afraid to talk to Harry about everything because you thought he would leave you. You mentioned how you felt that you couldn't live up to fans expectations. You cried about missing simpler times with Harry. He handed you a tissue and smiled. “(y/n) has Harry ever seemed unhappy with you?”

“No, but-”

“Has he ever said anything about fans not liking you?”

“No.”

“Have you talked to him at all about these fears?”

You sighed. “No.”

“And why’s that?”

“I don't want to stress him out. I don't want to throw off his game while on tour. I don't want him to hate me...”

“Has he ever said anything about hating you?”

“No...”

“(y/n) I think something that might make both you and Harry feel better is talking to him about everything.” You nodded and looked down at your feet. “I also think that you may benefit from going home and not continuing on with the tour..” You didnt say anything. You knew he was right about both things. You needed to talk to Harry. You also needed to go home. You couldnt continue on like this anymore. 

“I know..” you sighed. He smiled and patted your hand.

“Your health is more important than up keeping his expectations of you. If he's that upset about you leaving...he's not the one anyway.” You smiled sadly at him and nodded. 

“You're right... Thank you.”

“You're welcome. I’m going to leave you my number. Call anytime okay? I mean it..even if it's just to complain about Harry. I don't want you holding things in like this anymore. Understood?”

“Understood.” you smiled as he stood up and collected his things. “Thank you Dr. Ken.”

“Anytime.” He walked out, leaving you alone in the room. You waited for Harry patiently, trying to think of what to say. You were so involved in your thoughts you almost didn't hear him walk in. He sat next to you and ran his fingers through his hair. “How was the show?”

“Not my best...I had other things on my mind.” He smiled sadly and you nodded. 

“Harry I need to talk to you about some things...” Harry looked sick, but he nodded. You grabbed his hands and looked at him. His green eyes were searching yours for clues. You took a deep breath. “I think...I think I need to go home.”

“Go home? Like as in leave the tour?”

“Yeah...” you bit your lip and Harry looked confused. 

“But-”

“No...Haz I really need to get everything off my chest. The last month has been so hard-like harder than I ever thought. I don't feel like we have spent any time together...you don't even sleep with me...On top of that, I don't feel like I can live up to your image. I cant make fans happy. I’m not pretty enough for you...”

“Babe thats insane.” Harry cut in. “You are beautiful. I love every part of you. And you make fans happy, they all love seeing you-”

“Harry. People send me death threats daily. They say I’m ugly and fat, and they say I bring down your image and well maybe they are right maybe I-”

“You make me the best person I can be...You are the most beautiful thing about me (y/n)...I’m sorry..I didn't realize this was happening but I want you to understand that none of that is true.” you smiled and nodded.

“I know but it's been hard. I feel like I want to be better for you, and I know you love me. I know you think I’m beautiful. But in this environment I just feel like I need to be more. I cant get away from people. I cant even go out to lunch without people taking my picture and posting it somewhere online. I know thats a part of you. I know you're used to it but I’m not.” You took another breath. “I don't want to leave...I really don't. But Harry I cant go on like this. My body feels like its giving up and I-”

You were crying. You wanted Harry to understand. He pulled you into his arms and cuddled you closely. “I understand.”

“You do?”

“(y/n) I want you to be okay...I want us to work and if you need a break from this...well I am going to support that...”

“Youre not mad? You don't hate me?”

“I could never hate you. I don't want you to be stressed out all of the time. I want my happy, smiley, goofy, girl back. I want to see you stuffing your face with cookies and fighting me for the last piece of pizza.” You laughed and nodded. “If going home helps bring that back, I’m all for it. And I’m sorry I’ve been absent...I should have spent more time with you.”

“It’s okay...I know you're busy.”

“Thats not an excuse though...”

You kissed him softly and smiled. “I think-I think I want to go home tonight.”

He nodded and nuzzled your cheek with his nose. “Then we will get on a plane tonight.”

“We?”

“I cancelled the last few shows of the tour...you're more important. I want to be home with you...I want to make sure youre okay. I want us to get back to where we were. If I have to take some time off, then thats worth it to me.”

You smiled but shook your head. “But the fans?”

“They will understand...”

“Harry.”

“(y/n) Its not negotiable.... We are going home.”

You nodded. “Let’s go home then.”

---

This was a request. Idk how I feel about it yet lol

xoxo

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 42

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope you enjoy this! i really hope its worth a read! please send me requests for the few chapters left. i have the last chapters totally planned and they cant really be changed, but i can add a few things in them. as for the next few chapters, just send me anything you want for them!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! :  i changed it a bit i hope its ok! i used an other request for the chapter but it was part of many requests in the same ask so im not adding it in case i use the rest too. basically, it says “Louis being upset at losing his roommate”

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 42 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 21st, 2018

I was happy that Dylan hadn't asked Heidi to be there the next day since we were about to film the scene I feared the most. Niall had a few things to do but he told me he'd join me a bit later on the set. If I wanted to be honest, though, I was sort of happy he was not there, if only because this scene was going to be tough to play and knowing he would be there when I was filming it would make me even more nervous.

I jumped slightly when someone knocked at the door and walked to it with a frown. I had decided to eat in my dressing room if only to be alone and try to get back in those horrible feelings I had when Niall broke up with me. I remembered the rain, I remembered running away, I remembered the way he was looking at me and the way my heart twisted in my chest, feeling like it was stuck in a vice. I remembered the tattoo I had just got of a heart around his name, on the skin of my back, and how much it seemed to burn. I remembered running to Louis and crying with him. I remembered everything of that night. It was so vivid I felt like I would never forget. I knew this memory would never be blurry, I knew I'd remember every fucking second of it for the rest of my life.

When I opened the door, Dylan looked up, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized how vulnerable he looked with his sad eyes and his hands in his pockets. I was used to the confident and funny man who had been my rock for so many months. Now he looked exhausted and hurt.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded and licked my lips, moving away to let him in and I closed the door as he turned around to face me. We remained in front of each other just staring in each other's eyes until I moved my arm to show him the couch.

"Please, sit."

We kept silent for a few more minutes after sitting down and all I could hear was my heart thumping against my rib cage. I didn't know why he was there and I didn't want this conversation to turn bad. I knew what kind of person he was though and I knew it would most likely not end up in screams and insults, but he was with Heidi now, and I knew what she was capable of.

"I'm sorry, Olivia." he finally let out with a sigh before rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry for bringing Heidi here yesterday. I mean, I didn't even invite her she sort of... invited herself. But that's not the point, I mean I knew how you felt about her and I promise I didn't do that to piss you off, or make you uncomfortable."

My lips parted and after a while, they curled slightly. "I know, don't worry about it." I just shook my head a bit. "But Dylan, are you serious? I mean Heidi? Really?"

"Does it bother you?" he asked with a sad smile as he looked up.

"No, it doesn't. You can date whoever you want it's just... I'm surprised. After all you said about her... After all we said about her." I corrected myself. "Just be careful okay?"

"Liv," he chuckled, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not gonna marry her. She just... eases the pain, I guess. Some sort of a rebound."

"Basically, you two fuck."

This time, he laughed and leaned against the couch. "Pretty much." he shrugged and put his gaze into mine, his smile faltering a bit. "She's no you, but she's not bad looking when naked."

This time, I let out a loud laughter that made him smile more. "As long as she keeps her mouth shut, maybe!"

"Yea, that doesn't happen often, unfortunately."

I laughed again and rolled my eyes before tilting my head and pressing my lips together, staring at him some more. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Dylan."

"No, I'm sorry." he lost his smile and closed his eyes for a few seconds before moving closer and leaning his elbows on his knees. I frowned, a bit stressed about why he was acting like that but when he sighed again, I held my breath. "I'm the one who told her. About you and Niall. I told her you cheated on me and that I said it was okay, and she asked when it was and she just.. connected the dots. It's my fault she made that instagram shit. I hope you can forgive me."

I swallowed hard still looking at him. I couldn't really blame him and I was a bit surprised that I didn't think that he could be the one who told her, especially after seeing them together a few days before. It was so obvious now and I mentally slapped myself for being an idiot.

"Done." I just replied with a small smile. "Anything else I can help with? World Peace? Starvation in third world nations? Anything?"

He laughed and sent me a small smile as I became more serious. I didn't want us to be on bad terms and yes, it felt weird to think that only a few weeks ago, we were supposed to get married, but we both needed to move on from that.

"Heidi and I we just... bonded over the fact that we felt betrayed, and we were sad and hurt, you know? We won't spend our lives together. I don't have feelings for her I'm just.. trying to move on."

I stared at him again, keeping quiet for a few minutes, not wanting to say something wrong. We had had good moments together, and I couldn't pretend I didn't miss him but at the same time, I didn't miss the love relationship we had. I was with Niall and no one else made me feel like he did. No one else ever did make me feel like Niall did, not even Dylan, whom I was ready to marry.

"I really hope it works, Dyl." I sent him a fond smile, tilting my head. "You deserve the best."

                                                      ----

May 22nd, 2018

What woke me up in the middle of my nap in the afternoon was a soft piano melody and before my eyes even opened, my lips curled into a fond smile. I put my pants on and got out of bed, following the music and yawning a bit on my way as I tugged at my hair. When I entered the living room, Niall looked up and sent me a smile as he kept playing and finally licked his lips, taking his hand away from the keys and raised his eyebrows.

"How did sleeping beauty sleep?"

"I don't know about her," I started with an other yawn. "but I slept very well, thank you."

"I was talking about you, silly!" he chuckled. "You sleep all the time, and you're beautiful. This is now officially my new nickname for you."

I raised my eyebrows and my lips parted as he laughed. "If you call me that, I'll start calling you Neil."

I smiled when I saw him grimace and finally sat next to him on the small bench, facing the piano. I've always wanted to play and at the same time, i loved watching Niall play. If only I could be as talented as he was in something... anything, really.

"You're so damn good, I swear, I'm jealous."

"My piano skills are pretty basic."

"Lies!" I quickly replied, turning my head to look at him and raising my eyebrows. "You always say that and we both know it's bullshit." I turned back to the piano and placed my hands on the keys as if I knew what I was doing. "Here's a little something I can play for you.”

I let an amused smile appear on my lips and finally used just two fingers to play a short song on the piano, missing one or two notes as I did. When I turned back to him, he was smiling big, trying not to laugh.

"Is that 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game'?" he asked, unable to stop a chuckle from escaping his mouth. "Played with literally two fingers?"

"Don't laugh! I taught myself that."

He started laughing anyway and I raised my nose up, pushing his upper arm with mine and making him laugh even more. He smelled good and he looked gorgeous. I was trying not to think about the fact that he was leaving in a few days and when I looked up at him, he licked his lips.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

My lips curled into a happy smile but I tried to hide it by pressing them together before nodding. He chuckled and proceeded to take my hands and placed them over the keys. I tried to listen to his instructions but my mind drifted away after a while as I looked at his fingers slide gently on the keys for a while before my eyes moved on his arm and up to his chest and his face. I stared at his lips moving for a few seconds before blinking a few times as I tried to get out of my thoughts.

"Are you sleeping again?" he asked, raising his eyebrows with a smile.

"No... no I just..." I shook my head and chuckled. "Play that song. The one you had in hands in my dressing room. You said you needed a piano well there's one. I want to hear you sing."

"I was teaching you how to play darling." he pointed out, making me tilt my head.

"Play Niall, please."

He stared at me and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. I couldn't believe I was here with him and that he was looking at me like that. After a while, he just nodded and licked his lips before his fingers glided on the keys again.

"Maybe we are the champagne lovers Lay in the dark, we are stargazing now Well, I don’t like it.

Rolling the dice just to feel the thunder Deep in the heart of a downward spiral Falling, we’re falling.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Maybe we are the perfect strangers Only the stories left on paper now And I don’t like it.

We should twist the knife Put it all to bed, I Need to understand what it takes to love again

So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep.

You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We‘ve both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.

Come back to me You won’t say you’ll come back to me."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and swallowed the lump in my throat with difficulty. Silent came back in the room and slowly, I brought one of my hands to his cheek, brushing my thumb on it gently. I loved how some of the lyrics really fitted us, and I couldn't explain how perfect it was. He knew how to add things in songs that were only obvious to us two, and I needed to learn how to do that, because when it came to writing my tv show, I knew it was more and more obvious with time that it was based on my story with Niall.

"Those lyrics about the sheets..." I just whispered before licking my lips and sniffing.

"We've been hiding under the sheets since we were kids." he explained even if I already knew what it meant. "Just you and me, in our world. And now I realize that it was our world because you're my world."

I started seeing blurry because of the tears in my eyes and blinked again to let them slide down my cheeks. He brought his hand over mine on his face but his eyes never left mine.

"You're so full of shit, Horan." I just replied in a whisper with a small chuckle.

"I mean it." he quickly murmured before I pressed my lips against his.

He kissed me back deeply and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His lips parted against mine and he panted, making me whimper low. I let my hands slip under his shirt and I thought he was going to laugh at how impatient I was but instead, he moved slightly away, his lips still against mine.

"I'm gonna fucking miss you."

"How many times are we gonna tell that to each other." I whispered back, sliding my hands up his chest.,

He pulled away a bit to stare in my eyes and something twisted inside me. "I don't know, petal. Now too often I hope."

I pulled his shirt off and let it fall on the floor and I kept my lips pressed against his as he got up slowly, grabbing the hem of my shirt and taking it off too. He turned me around slightly, both his hands on my waist and when he kissed me harder, I leaned against the piano without thinking, hitting a few keys and making an horrible sound. We laughed against each other's mouths and I felt him pull my pants down, along with my panties. I wiggled slightly to take them off and pushed them away from us as I moved a bit and hit a few keys again but higher notes this time.

"Clumsy ass." he whispered with a chuckle.

"Hey it's your fault." I argued in a low tone before smiling wide.

I reached for his pants and unzipped them and when he took a step back, my eyes fluttered as I started at him. He took his pants off and when he pulled his boxers down, my lips parted slightly. I watched him sit back on the bench as I stood between him and the piano and he brought his hand to his dick, stroking it slowly. I ran my hand to my breasts as I stared at him and felt my heart jump in my chest at the sight.

He brought his free hand between my thighs and I propped one of my feet on the bench next to him before two of his fingers ran on my slit. He was staring at what he was doing and I let out a low whimper as his thumb found my clit. I was already turned on but feeling him touching me while looking at him touch himself was amazing and I licked my lips, moaning slightly louder.

"I just want to sit on your cock."

He let go of me but I noticed his fingers pressed harder around his cock as he looked up at me and it only took him a few seconds to make a quick head movement.

"Turn around and sit on me."

I felt my heart jump again and slowly did what I asked. I felt him spank me once as I held myself on the piano to sit slowly on him. His hand reached my right side as his left hand positioned his dick and I closed my eyes as I felt it slowly get deeper inside me until I was sitting completely on him.

"Fuck, bend down a bit."

I did as he asked, holding myself on the piano again and making an other unpleasant noise as I hit different keys. This time though, he didn't laugh. He ran his hands on my back, pushing on it gently again and he finally held my waist to help me move up and down on his cock very slowly, watching it slip almost completely out of me and then back inside me as I sat back on him a few times until he was balls deep.

"I fucking love watching my cock disappear in that pretty little cunt of yours." he admitted in a low tone before groaning low. "Fuck me, petal. Harder."

I started going harder as he asked and I tried to grip the piano with my fingers to get balance, my fingers making an annoying sound as they slid on it. My lips parted and I held my breath when I felt him push his thumb in my asshole and I let out a curse word, my movements faltering a bit.

"Don't you fucking stop." he just let out, spanking me with his free hand. "Nothing I want more than to cum deep inside you, pet. I want to feel you clench around me. Fuck, you're such a perfect little cumdump."

I held my breath at his words, feeling my whole body throb at the way he dirty talked to me, a bit surprised but aroused by his words. I was thinking about touching myself when I felt his arm slither around me to reach between my legs as the thumb of his other hand was still fucking my ass.

"You're gonna cum so hard, yea?" he asked, rubbing my clit and making me clench around him in motion. "All over my cock?"

I felt my eyes flutter and my head fell back slightly as I started shaking over him. He brought his arm around me to hold me against him as he kept rubbing my clit hard and fast and when I started cumming, he pushed me up slightly and started moving his hips up against me to reach an orgasm too. He only kept his tip inside me as he came and his fingers sank on both sides of my waist as he groaned loud.

"Fuck."

One of my hands fell on the keys again and I shut my eyes tighter as I got down from my high slowly. I felt one of his hands carress my back and he tapped my butt gently to incite me to get up, I felt his cum fall and when I turned around, some of it slid on my thighs while I bit my bottom lip, looking at his cum mixed with mine on his thighs.

It took him a few seconds to get up and he bent his head down to reach my lips with his. I heard the few notes from the piano as he kissed me and I chuckled against his mouth, making him smile.

"Loved it." he let out low with a smirk. "We literally just composed the best song ever together.”

I laughed and shook my head a bit, my lips brushing against his. "Yea, I don't think it's gonna be a hit." I admitted with an other laugh.

He laughed too and started kissing me slowly but deeply again until we heard the doorbell and both jumped. We both smiled and chuckled at the same time before the bell rang again and someone starting hitting the door quite roughly. I quickly rolled my eyes, knowing exactly who it was. and Niall frowned at me until we heard the voice.

"OLIVIA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" he yelled, making me laugh and roll my eyes. "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON AND COME OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Why does he always get here when we're naked?" Niall asked, making me laugh.

"Hey, it's Louis, I expect nothing less." I pointed out as I was putting my pants back. "I'll go see what he wants, you get dressed."

I put my shirt on as I walked to the front door before swinging it open and sending a big smile to my best friend. He opened his arms wide and it took me only half a second before throwing myself at him. He held me close and I buried my face in his neck as I felt his head lean gently against the side of mine.

"So glad to see you, my queen. I missed you." his voice was low and his words seemed sincere. I could hear emotions in his tone and it made me smile as I gripped the back of his shirt tightly.

"It's been weeks." I just let out, making him squeeze me tighter against him.

"Who's fault?"

"Mine." I confessed in a murmur. "I'm sorry it's just... Niall..."

"Yea I know, I was the same the first few months I was back with El."

We remained silent for a few seconds but when I felt Niall's presence close to us, I felt something melt inside me, like him being close made me emotional.

"Okay Tommo, let go of my girlfriend now."

I chuckled and pulled away, my lips curling more when my eyes met Louis'.

"Oh yea, I saw the video at the airport," Louis laughed, nodding. "Told you it was just a matter of time, right Neil?"

"Right."

My boyfriend groaned but didn't add anything and I moved to let Louis walk in and close the door behind himself. He was so close to me I felt his body heat emanate from him. Niall wrapped his arms around me from behind and I felt him lean his chin on my shoulder. Instinctively, I leaned my head against him and it made Louis roll his eyes with a laugh.

"Alright, double date tonight, we're going to eat, and maybe a movie or something." Louis let out quickly. "Non-negotiable, be ready in two hours, I drive."

He winked at me before turning around and opening the door he had barely just closed and walking quickly to his car. Niall and I both watched him start the car and drive aaway and after a while, I chuckled low and shook my head.

"He's so annoying." Niall admitted, mumbling under his breath.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun!"

Niall seemed to think for a few seconds and finally raised his eyebrows with an amused smile. "Okay, but you wear a skirt."

I rolled my eyes and laughed again, just shrugging. "Deal."

                                               ---

The restaurant was crowded and suddenly, I was scared people would take pictures and videos. I tried to push that thought away and tell myself it didn't matter but at the same time, I knew Niall liked to keep most things private so I tried not to touch him too much. I felt his hand on my naked thigh and smiled, pressing my lips together as I tried to ignore it.

"What are you wearing exactly?" Louis asked with a frown, leaning a bit against the table. "Is that a necklace with my friend Neil's face on it? How old was he back then? 12?"

"Funny." Niall let out sarcastically. "It's a gift from a fan and she won't take it off."

"That's a proof of love, Niall. Embrace it."

Eleanor rolled her eyes with a chuckle and I just laughed a bit. I looked at them and lost my smile suddenly. They were such a perfect and beautiful couple and it was a shame it had just hit me. I started wondering what people thought of the couple I made with Niall and I felt a bit nervous.

"We haven't done that in a while." Eleanor pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. "I know you've both been busy though. How's tour going? Not too hard being away from each other?"

"It's..." Niall started shaking his head.

"Hell." I finished his sentence. 

He turned his head to look at me before nodding slowly. "Exactly. But we manage."

And we did. It was not easy but we loved each other enough to actually want this to work and we both put effort into it. I knew Niall wouldn't always be on tour, and I wouldn't always be filming either. At some point, we would live together almost every day and I seriously couldn't wait. I could write from home, and he could do the same, and I knew it would go very well.

"Niall also asked me to move in with him!" I announced with a huge grin, raising my eyebrows. "About to move my stuff soon!"

I saw Louis' face change and he looked down at his plate before clearing his throat. "Really? When are you moving?"

I frowned when I noticed the emotions on his face but simply licked my lips. I didn't want to cause a scene, and I was not sure of how he felt, but knowing Louis, he was probably going to talk to me about it.

"Probably mid june, it's the only time Niall has a few weeks off. Then he'll be on tour for 3 months almost non-stop." I admitted, swallowing hard at the thought.

I didn't want to be away from him and at the same time, I didn't know if I really should follow him everywhere. I didn't want to be that kind of girl anymore but wanting to be with my boyfriend was not being needy, right? I also didn't really want to stay alone in his big house the whole time he'd be gone. It sounded quite sad.

We started discussing old memories, mostly those from the last tour, and I would roll my eyes when Louis would mention how bad I supposedly had it for Harry. I was pretty sure he knew I was in love with Niall even back then but he was trying to get a reaction out of Niall and I couldn't pretend I didn't find it a bit entertaining. Every time Louis would mention a memory of something romantic or sexual between Harry and I, Niall would squeeze my thigh without really realizing it.

I got up to go to the bathroom after a while and when I got out, Louis was waiting for me, his side leaned against the wall.

"Why are you always waiting for me next to the bathroom." I asked with a chuckle.

"I missed you, you know. I missed my best friend." he pointed out, ignoring my question. "And now you're gonna move in with him for the very first time and, I don't know, I feel betrayed."

I took a step closer to him and shook my head. "Louis, you were already supposed to be with Eleanor, remember?"

"That was when you were supposed to marry Dylan."

I tilted my head and sighed, licking my lips. "I know you hadn't changed your plans. I mean, you were going to live with El either way, and it's okay." I just explained. "I want to try it with Niall. I want it so bad, Louis. But we'll always be close, you and I. I think I need you more than you'll ever need me."

"One day every week."

"Mm?"

"I have to see you at least once a week." he specified. "Sometimes with Niall and El, sometimes just us two, but once a week. I'm not losing touch, you hear me?"

"I hear ya." I smiled and tilted my head.

"Good." he nodded, staring at me for a few seconds. "Are you sure you're ready for that? Moving in with Niall, I mean. It's not gonna be easy."

"I know. But I'm sure." I let out firmly. "He's my soulmate. He's always been. And apparently, I'm his soulmate too. Life couldn't get better than that."

[ilovelollipopx]

I was wondering can you do one for Akali or Ahri with a blind s/o (love your work and with this request I send good vibes as well)

Sorry, it took so long to finish this, I’ve been teaching my self to not focus too much on requests and a little more self-care this month~!

Feet strode across the ground in swift but quiet steps, each being careful about where its placement was next. The air was clear and the sounds of Ionians nature were as loud as a bee, and at times quiet as a mouse. As of the moment, a quick game of hiding and seeking was being played. Normally for a Blind person, it’d be a bit difficult especially navigating through a forest. But as most know once a sense diminishes the others heighten. The lands of Ionia had always been connected to those with magic in their hearts, and to those who had understood its heart.

Granting you the ability to traverse over roots that normally would be sticking out, you’d imagine that they moved just for you that or you were being guided through an area that wouldn’t have you land on your face. It wouldn’t be further as the wind picked up signaling that she was close. Further down you stopped under a branch thankful that the sun didn’t gleam down on your face, spring was a nice season. Pretending to drop something on the ground you had searched the ground for a bit eventually picking up a palm-sized rock. Standing up again you pretended to walk away taking a whole new direction, though secretly you had walked up behind the tree. The lands seemed to want to help as a misty blue outline of the tree and your target had come into view of the dark canvas you were used to staring at.

From the vision given you reached your arm back and threw the rock as accurately as one could. The vision had faded away into the darkness as soon as the rock had been thrown. It didn’t take long before a groan was emitted from the person that you were looking for. Followed by a thud of her landing down next to you what it sounded like.

“I can’t believe after all these years you still beat me in Hiding and Seek”  she complained probably a bit annoyed but the tease could be heard so there were 

“We’ll maybe the rumor of blind people having access the spirit realm is true” you teased her holding out your arms to help her up.

As you pulled her up you couldn’t help but laugh lightly at her comment. It was true in a sense, even while your place at the Kinkou order was limited. Most of the life for those who grew up there or strived to be in the order had a spark that could be recognized instantly, and others had to work harder to prove themselves. But those with hindrances had to work even harder all depending on what hindered them from the rest. It didn’t stop most from trying to be like others, and you were rounded into that group. The main problem you had with them was that those who had restrictions with their hearing or blindness were to be expected to train in areas that were more related to the spirit realm and the lands.

At the time Akali couldn’t really understand when the two of you grew into your mid-teens. By the time you made the decision to leave she felt betrayed, which you understood the two of you had grown up as the runts of the children. So you didn’t keep it against her.

A hand had knocked you out of your thoughts causing you to turn to Akali in confusion, maybe she had said something and you hadn’t registered it.

“Remembering our childhood again huh?”  her voice questioned

Smiling you nodded at her, it was something you two had always done in these meetups, except this you had heard of her leaving her mothers path. This was surprising at first, as kids she was so eager to join the older youth as they tried to help the adults. But as now as an adult she realized something else, which you couldn’t help but be a bit proud of. It wasn’t an insult to the Order they had their up and downs, few were cut out for it. 

“Yeah im just so surprised that you ended up leaving your master, practically everyone older than us was so serious to be of use to the order. You were so eager to help since you were 4!”

Laughter had erupted from you as you remembered her following the group of older kids everywhere before you felt her elbow lightly jab you on the side as she snickered.

“That’s rich coming from you of all people” she countered 

“Have you seen Master Aliyu!? I would rather be a monk than be “Prosperous and blind” and spend my days meditating and drinking gross teas!” you exclaimed turning towards her with a feeling of bewilderment.

Both of you laughed at that, the forest filled with giggles for a few seconds before silence surrounded the two of you once again. 

“Listen-”  she started while stopping in the middle of the dirt pathway. The feeling of her enveloping your hands into her rough yet soft ones. Confused you stopped in your tracks as well facing her with confusion.

“I.. I know it wasn’t fair when I got upset at you when you chose to left it took me an awhile to realize I didn’t want to be like my mom after all and that when we got older you were the first to realize that if I wanted to help fight off Noxians that I would have to go by my own rules.” 

A frown had made its way to your face, did she really hold herself responsible for that time. 

You responded with what sympathetic smile you could form, “Akali you don’t have to blame yourself for choosing not to talk to me through all these years”

The feeling of your hands being squeezed as she was likely about to speak again worried you.

“Yea but I refused to read your letters for years! For the longest time, I acted like you leaving didn’t affect me. I suppose I just didn’t want to come to terms with you leaving” she confessed.

Tilting your head you smiled,

“Are you sure you are Akali, the one I know isn’t so vulnerable and apologetic to anyone” you joked giving a small giggle before you got serious.

“I don’t hold anything against you, all the bad stuff in the past is in the past, so why don’t we focus on catching up before I sense a tear actually fall down your cheek, then we’d all be doomed.”

A small laugh emitted from her before she sighed in relief.

You grabbed her hands and continued towards the path to a  beautiful area that only the two of you shared with each other. It wasn’t much farther and at this point, you began to lightly jog as the familiar aura flooded your senses. Stopping in front of a tree that oozed nature’s life force, it was simply put a spirit tree. If they were ever awakened it would be very bad for the one who disturbed them. But being trained as an assassin and the naive mind of 5-year-olds seemed to befriend it.

A small humming vibration rumbled throughout the small woodland area as you kneeled down to place a hand on the headstone. In instant magic crept around, enveloping your senses, and once again you could see through the eyes of the spirit realm.

“Good to see the old tree alive and kicking” Akali commented as she sat herself down near the roots of the tree.

Smiling you sat next to her and leaned back against the smooth bark of the tree on top of the guardian. Scooting closer to her you leaned your head on her shoulder closing your eyes in contentment. 

“So tell me about your years in the order ‘Kali”

[pbandjesse]

Ugh today. Thats how I feel right now. I am glad tomorrow is the start of spring break, even if Im working through most of it. I need a change of pace. 

I slept okay I guess. I calmed down after being so upset. And I didnt have as hard of a time falling asleep but staying asleep was harder. I did let myself sleep in until after 930. And didnt get out of bed until 945. So I had a lot less time. But I got up and dressed and while my hair looked filthy, I felt cute. 

I had a bagel and watched a video and was out the door with some art to show the kids. It was muggy out today. Not rainy like yesterday, but humid. 

Work was alright. Only a couple kids again. I got to work on some collages with stickers with one of the kids. And later in the day I showed them the art I make and they used those sticker collages to create their own drawings. I made one too and it was just a nice project. 

But before we did that I had my meeting with my manager. It went okay at first. When I had filled out my SWOT analysis thing I was really upset. It was last week when everything was bad. And she knew that, as I had warned her to take it with some salt. And she did. And a lot of things I had thought, like independent work time and schedules were confirmed. I got things clarified that I didnt know. And that helped make me feel more secure. 

But then at the end of the meeting she tells me that she needs to talk about how I crossed some lines and boundaries yesterday and I was like. What?? Im like running through the whole day and I couldnt think of anything except the kids yelling? But apparently because Im an aid at this site, and not a lead teacher, I shouldnt be talking to parents? I shouldnt be checking in? I shouldnt be doing a bunch of things that have to do with the end of the day. 

And I was shocked. Because I have been at this site for a month. And I have been doing a bunch of these tasks every day. Because I had been told to. It was just shocking.  And I started crying. But I was embarrassed and I was like I know I am crying but this is not because of you I just cant stop. And she was taken aback and I think she tried to keep talking to make me understand but I was just like. How would I know I shouldnt be doing something I was told to do?? And it was just. Really shocking. 

One of the things that bugs me is this aid thing. I dont care about being an aid, its all good. But also I dont understand why I was the lead at the other two sites but not this one? And like. I wasnt in trouble. But the way it was phrased. Crossing a line. Going outside my boundaries. Made me feel like I had done something really bad and offensive and it really hurt my heart. Because I had been trying to do the things I had been told to do from the trainings I did right before I started at this site. Talking to and checking in with parents. Leading projects. Delegating as a team with the other teachers.

But it just felt like. I was being told I was both doing to much and not doing enough. And that was really hard. 

So I dont know what tomorrow will look like. And at the end of the meeting I was still very teary. I went to the upstairs bathroom that no one really uses and cried for a few more minutes. I tried to get my face to stop being so red. And headed back to class. 

It was a mostly quiet day though. We did another story telling game. We did my drawing project. And made little paper crowns. It was mostly a good afternoon. 

Before I left for work today I told James I hoped all the kids would leave by 4. But at 4 we went to the gym to play basketball. We were only in there for a few minutes when I realized that the other side of the gym had a family playing basketball with no masks on so I called upstairs to ask what to do. And she was like. You gotta get out of there. So even though the boys were upset, we went upstairs to the yoga studio and played catch. Me and the only girl did some ballet at the barre. It was nice. 

But then all of a sudden everyone was getting picked up!A And we only had one kid left. And since we have another staff at night I got to bounce. Awesome. 

I was home before 5. I put my stuff away, put a pizza in the oven, and played some animal crossing. I was supposed to have a meeting at 6 so I prepared myself for that. But then it got pushed back until 7. All good. James went for a walk and brought me french fries home. And I had a really nice meeting with Alexi about camp. 

Im going to be going out there for the first 3 days of next week for a spring break camp. I have a bunch of projects to come up with for programs. Im really excited. 

I still hope things are a little more normal after this summer and I can work closer with camp rather than any other job. But well just have to see. Im really excited to go out there for this little bit of time. 

James made cupcakes for me to take to work tomorrow. And while they were finishing that I went and took a bath. Helped my back a little bit. And Ive just been hanging out on the couch for a bit. 

Now Im going to brush my teeth and try to sleep. I got my schedule at work changed so I dont have to go in til 1 tomorrow, and noon on T/W/T, so Im pleased about that. 

I hope you have a great night everyone. Sleep well. Wash your hands.