#its sad to see so much bashing and negativity all at once

[desthebolt]

Me, sitting here watching my entire dashboard get bombarded with splatfest grief: … Everyone okay? Yall want some fruit gushers and some water or some shit? Yall need a break?? Like what is happening rn

[destinygoldenstar]

It’s honestly very crazy that a garbage Hollywood trailer makes so many people apologize to Minecraft Story Mode.

My experience with MCSM was that I was gifted the show by my dad as a teenager the same year the news came that Telltale went bankrupt. (It was the summer, so a couple of months before that)

I got a lot more into it than I was expecting. It had its problems, sure, but I was incredibly immersed with its story and atmosphere. Later on it became one of my obsessions once I finished the two games. It was the first fandom on the internet I ever became a part of. It was also the first time I ever outright became a shipper over a ship that wasn’t canon. (Jetra is my OTP to this day)

But in terms of real life, I never really felt confident talking to people about it. That’s because this was around the same time the hate train for MCSM started to arise. Then it became “Pure Fact” quote on quote that the games were these terrible things.

Now in my opinion and from my experience this started when some popular Let’s Players bashed the games. And even then I can’t blame them for simply having an opinion. But it’s because of their influence that their audiences take their opinions as gospel. (That should not be how that works)

From there every time I brought it up I would get cyberbullied for liking the games. And this was true for a lot of people who did like the games as well. We were all getting cyberbullied into joining the popular crowd and that we were wrong.

“Everyone else is saying it’s bad, therefore it must be true”

And then every time MCSM popped up in my feeds, my heart would sink and I would feel sick. Weird part was, while I did become far more critical of the games as a result of the trend… I NEVER found it in myself to outright hate it.

Like I said, the games have problems. They are by no means perfect games, and some of my critiques of it still hold up. (Not all of them though, ones I do wish I could take back) it was talking about THESE games that even spawned my hobby of writing essays of stuff I like.

So… that’s a sad origin story for how AnalyzGolden came to be. Now you know.

I’ve since drifted away from MCSM, simply because I was older and getting into new stuff. I talk about other stuff on this blog, like The Amazing Digital Circus, Ninjago, Total Drama, and quite recently Disventure Camp. And more. I also try to advertise my own stories to failing results cause no one cares.

So to see, after all these years, people like me finally being VALIDATED for our soured opinion on something… it just warms my heart so much.

I became more critical because of the trend of “MCSM sucks”. And now that that’s growing to not be the case, and I became more exposed to some crazy and wild fandom takes on other media that boggle my mind, that I’ve stepped more away from being negative and made choices to be in my corner and simply “Enjoy Something. Because I enjoy it.”

Oh I’m still a critical cynical bitch. And I do talk about my own critiques and problems if I personally have a problem with it and how the writing or whatever was handled. But I guess I’m more willing to hear the story itself out and what it’s trying to do before I jump to conclusions.

I cringe at my old emotionally impulsive self. And I hate having regression episodes of reverting back to my awful teenager self. But I can say that through experiences, I have to thank that for the person I am now, even if it sucked.

So… thank you MCSM. And thank you Hollywood for making a trailer/movie so awful that it made people such as myself finally feel heard and validated.

(Oh and btw, you guys don’t need to follow the trend of loving MCSM either. This doesn’t need to turn into the complete opposite thing. The lesson here is that you are allowed to like and dislike MCSM, and anything really, and trends should not sour your take on it. You can still not like the games if that’s your honest opinion.)

[fountainpenguin]

Hey, just wanted to say I enjoy your fics! Any tips on how to do a good job portraying characters in a way that feels authentic but also unique to you? :)

Thanks for the message! <3

Not bashing will always be my top suggestion. Every character is someone's favorite character, every episode is someone's favorite episode, every line of dialogue or aspect of a character design is someone's favorite part of them.

Yes, even that "universally hated episode" or that one with "the character 'absolutely everyone' wants to vote first off the island." I remember in my younger years it was difficult to find content for my favorite characters, and what little content there was frequently involved bashing the character (Ex: Other characters mocking or bullying them), killing them, etc. and it was really sad because I just wanted someone to see the beauty in that character that I did. I still feel this way with many of my favorite characters and episodes, wheeze.

I'm not saying you can't dislike characters or episodes. You can dislike them, you can blog about disliking them, etc., I'm just suggesting you try not to let your dislike for them show (mostly if they're just a regular person, and not an actually despicable person).

Treat your story like it's going to be read by fans who love that character. Write for yourself, write something for the person who thinks the character is baby, and write something for the person who likes to pick at the character's flaws. Show a range of the character's emotions.

Taking time to discover your writing style is also a good start (and style can vary between projects, of course). I write almost all my stuff in a longform magical realism style where anything that could be considered canon is considered canon. The definition of what that means to me might vary in projects (for example, in the way that I portray cartoon physics), but I think understanding your style can play a big part in how you portray characters.

Some styles might be heavily introspective. Some may be very descriptive. Others might be snappy and witty, and others may be fast-paced and full of action. Mine tends to go light on describing scenery and heavier on dialogue and body language, and the overall feel I go for is "something to cuddle up for and read for a long time, hopefully feeling very connected to the characters in the process, and ideally feeling their emotions too."

There's also something to be said for the style that is "The thing I am writing is blatantly an AU but it's obvious I have a very good understanding of the source material and its quirky, goofy moments even though the thing I'm writing is much different (and darker)." There's a 'fic I might talk about at a later date that's a good example of this, though I don't want to link it in this post because the content can be triggering, so I'll probably find a different time to bring it up.

It can be fun to use different styles for different character ages as well. My OC Cavatina is a pretty good example for this, and while I don't want to show any previews of his story stuff, he definitely goes from being "sharp, observant kid with a positive outlook on life" and swivels to "cold, calculating guy with a negative outlook on life." Hate that for him :(

Put your own spin on characters and lore. Embrace your headcanons and silly ideas full-heartedly, but when you're writing a character, trying writing them with the passion of someone who loves them. Take the time to research them and find things to like about them. Once you become familiar with a character and how they fit in your writing style and story dynamic, they'll feel more natural to you.

If you're new to the character, you might feel like you're not doing it right, and that can be a struggle but it just might take more time and practice to place them in a scene that suits them well.

You can also try rewriting existing scenes from their book or show in your own style to get a feel for their dialogue and body language. I always recommend writing a cooking scene for practice. Cooking scenes have a natural beginning, middle, and end (obtain ingredients, use them, receive food) and having two characters in a small space trying to collaborate is a great way to bring two personalities that might conflict (or might flourish) into an everyday low-stakes scene. It's a good way to figure out who's a pain to work with, who has terrible habits, who has the system down, whose house is it, etc.

Chances are, people who dislike your character portrayal or ship are going to dislike it regardless of what you do with it, so go all out and make it self-indulgent for you and the people who want that content! Write for the audience you dream of having rather than writing for one you'll never be able to win over.

And just, y'know... enjoy the way that you do things, let other people enjoy the way that they do things, enjoy each other's things and be respectful :) You might be someone who loves to stick close to canon or someone who just use some parts of canon as a baseline and spins it in your own way, and both of those things are okay.

Just don't get upset with anyone who follows canon if you don't, or with those who want to do AUs and OCs and headcanons you don't like, etc. Fall in love with the way that you do things and be kind to others. That's a good way to be authentic I think.

Hope that helps :)

[staribon]

Everyone has the right to their own opinion for sure but since i’m seeing so many people hating on and bashing Heartstopper lately now that it's a live action Netflix show and really in the public eye there’s so much stuff I see these people refuse to acknowledge about it before going online and being so negative about it without even watching it or reading the source material. 

I for one am so so glad to see something like this become mainstream and popular. Like this is a show that gets actual young adult/teen actors to play teenagers AND gets real POC to play roles written for POC AND actual trans actors to play trans characters. That alone is actually pretty monumental and reason enough to support it even if it’s not your thing because if we don’t ensure that it does well these corporations won’t greenlight stuff like this anymore and we’ll have even less representation. 

It’s also really really amazing for a smaller content creator and not some big wig executive to be getting the chance to tell a story on a platform that can reach a lot of people! Again it’s important to support things like this! Support stuff made by small creators support artists who are queer and POC! 

Unfortunately, not every single piece of media was made to specifically cater to your life experiences. For me as a queer POC I relate to both the comic and the show a lot. To see people hating the show so much and calling it corporate, unfeeling, and unrealistic or whatever is so invalidating to my own experiences considering… I relate to it!! Like are my experiences any less valid than yours because I relate to and enjoy a light hearted Netflix show? 

I also feel like a lot of people are either not researching or forgetting that the original comic is literally made by an aroace nonbinary writer/artist, Alice Oseman, and that they were very involved in the creation for the show. Don’t we want these opportunities for creators?  Personally, I don't feel that anyone has the right to say something has no value representation wise when it's literally made by someone who is in the community they seek to represent. Not that you can't critique content made by queer people about being queer (or poc content made for poc people for that matter) or dislike it, of course you can and should, but this "all or nothing" mentality the internet seems to have developed in regards to rep is so frustrating to see. Not all rep is good rep to me sure but with Heartstopper it's literally just... what too happy and silly? Literally what is wrong with that?

I think our community has enough sad depressing media and enough stories telling us we're going to die in the end and enough stories telling us we only exist to be comic relief for haha funny jokes or to be fetishized through bizzare sex scenes. Like the fact we even have a silly romcom for teens is such a good step forward. I know Heartstopper isn't the pinnacle of gay rep, but nothing ever will be!! Nothing is ever going to be perfect with absolutely no problems or things to improve on nor is any piece of media going to be able to encompass every single queer experience on the planet. I just think it's unfair to write off a piece of media written from a genuine place of love and care made by someone IN the community for reasons like that. We can just appreciate it for what it is. Holding it to such high standards as if it's claiming to be some cinematic masterpiece makes no sense when that’s not at all what it’s trying to be. Having a few cute stories isn't hurting anyone. Just because you personally can't see yourself in something doesn't mean other people can't. Shouldn't you be glad kids are seeing themselves in the show even if you can’t...? 

Like idk maybe let people enjoy something happy and low stakes for once (not that the show doesn’t have its fair share of teen drama). If you hate Heartstopper that's fine but literally why go online and complain about it and make people feel like they don't belong in the community because you don't like it or relate to it yourself? Literally just don't watch it, block the tags, and unfollow people so you don't have to see it? 

Maybe just ask yourself if you’re really angry at this little show about gay teenagers coming of age or if you’re actually angry at society for creating a system that erases our voices so much that we only have a fraction of the variety of content cishet people get and thereby there’s nothing custom made for you. 🤷

[slushrottweiler]

Reactions to Ch. 5 of Andromeda Six

Because I have to do something with my feelings. This is written out as a Live reaction, coz it matched my other post like this. MILD SPOILER WARNING

Ooohh, Another flashback

A lot of shit happens in this hallway

Dayum, Nerissa is looking good for her age.

Like… suspiciously good. Even if we took the smallest age difference imaginable, and assumed the traveller is the canonical age (21), Nerissa would have to be at least 10 yrs older than MC, if not more.

LOOKING GOOD SIS

Hmm, so Vexx and my sis are buddies *suspicious eyes*

OK my current guess, Vexx has either always been working with Nerissa and she charged him with infiltrating Zovack’s faction, or Zovack sent him to engraciate himself with Nerissa as well as find entry into the palace.

Omg, imagine if Nerissa was Vexx’s target all along, and MC was even more of a convenient method of infiltration… God the ANGST.

Ok, no more theorising, back to game

Vexx, Don’t WINK at me, my sister is right there.

Ok back to the present, and OOOOHHHHH sparring yasss!!

Pin me to the floor LIs

Now how do I choose the style of fighting imma use. Do I pick based on what I think each of my traveller’s would actually prefer, or so I pick based on which style I think will get me into training with my LI???

Well I’m a Ho so… LI training it is.

I kinda wish you got to choose a level of competency you had to the training. I mean, it kinda lets you, but at least two of my three travellers are quite physically capable, if not legit combat ready. I guess that would have been a TON of extra writing…

Damon: Holy shit you flirty bastard. We’re just throwing subtlety out the window aren’t we. God I’m way too into this jerk

Aya: Lordy, I cannot choose which flirt option is more spicy, but I gotta admit, calling her My Girl got my heart pumping

Calderon: Ummm… excuse me but did the grumpy captain just admit that he wants to fuck me? That’s not subtle holy fuck

Bash: another one where i cannot decide which option to chose. All I know is I want this tin man to RUIN me. I also really like that I gave my Bash-main traveller he/him pronouns. Idk but it makes it better for me.

June: I swear to god, this guy is perfect switch bait. I oscillate wildly between wanting to make him blush ridiculously and wanting him to pin to the closest flat surface.

Vexx: I’m kinda sad I don’t get to have any flirty sparring with my fav carrot boy. I also kinda wish he was at every training group just so he can see how much traveller has grown

NEVERMIND I got my soft Vexx flirt options.

Fuck those are too damn cute for my fav feral traitor boy

I knew they fucked with his head, but I do kinda wish his negative actions were not so explicitly tied to the re-wiring of his brain. Like, he’s turning into a very redeemed good guy

Wait… are we terrorists now?

I think we might be terrorists

Holy shit June

Things got dark REAL Fast

That CG is fucking WICKED.

June bug, you are a literal cinnamon roll of sweetness and sunshine baby let me hold you its gonna be ok

If I every meet your ‘mother’ I’m going to gut her. Just you wait

This is a very light Bash and Aya episode today. I’m kinda hoping they get their time to shine in the next few chapters. But we’ve already been to Bash’s home world, so I do hope he gets a chapter to be the star

And of course Vexx was only working with Zovack for noble reasons…

I was hoping he was out for revenge on the doctor that fucked with his head, or maybe he was looking for notes and documents about what they did to him. Different direction but not bad at all

No, I don’t wanna leave him. It feels so wrong. My June traveller would really have liked to have stayed, even just in the hallway

Wait… did he remember these bombshells before and just kept mum about it, or did he just remember since Ry has been helping him + trauma?

Either way, i need to scoop up this fox and give him pats

That crying sprite is making me FEEL things

Run away run away run away

Lol, I’m with Ry, that was a terrible entrance Damon

YAASSSSS! Traveller Kick some ASS

Oh shit…

THE FINAL ROMANCE OPTION CHOICE

I have multiple save files imma chose them all.

Damon:

omg I called him “the bastard”, we know him so well

My hero, the stabby lad

KISS ME KISS ME

Yassss battlefield make out

Awww he looks so in love in this CG

I knew he’d be a tease but omg.The dialogue exchange between these two is *chefs kiss*

Ayame:

how is she holding me up

Dayum babe, you’re strong for such a tiny person

Fuck can I kiss her again

Awww, baby, you’re too cute

I wanna scoop her up and spin her I’m so happy

Calderon:

He calls me stowaway <3 <3 <3

He’s so mad at me holy shit

Kiss me you moron!

Wow, that was way smoother than I thought it would be

Pin me to the tree captain!!!

Get lost again, I’ll only get lost in your eyes

Bash:

Robot BF to the rescue

He looks so worried about me awwww baby boy

Even his Kiss is cute goddamnit bash

How is he so damn cute, yet so damn sexy

This isn’t fair. You’re not fair bash

June:

you are handling this a lot better than I expected June bug, given the amount of shit you’ve been through today

Superstrength is quite handy

Holy… *swoon*

Traveller.exe has stopped working

Once again, I don’t know if I want to ruin you or let you wreck me.

Stop pushing my switch buttons Juni

Vexx:

oh so you remembered you were my bodyguard huh

He’s yelling at me and all i wanna do is kiss his dumb face

So I did and it was AMAZING

The whole crew has got to be so sus about traveller going missing with just Vexx. Like… that’s gotta raise some concerned

Oh no… the CG… its so beautiful

I demand more kisses Vexx. Kiss my broken heart better

I really wanna write this out with my non-canon traveller, just to make it work in my HCs. It’ll be so fun

Big Twist

HOLY SHIT

[yoursinfulurges]

Toxin and Venom

Slight Dark!Peter Parker x Dark!Reader

Description:

In which a seemingly loving relationship appears greater than it is...

There was something rather terrible about this young man's naive exterior. Though nobody could pinpoint where exactly the dreadfulness laid. His eyes shined a little too brightly, and his words were coated in thick sugar, enough to appear disingenuous to the skillfully trained ears. But there hidden behind is smile concealed the sinister morals of a true manipulator.

Oh' but she was no better herself, twisting words to favour her narrative. Playing as if she was nothing more than a meek little prey.

Warnings: pure angst with an underlining layer of toxicity.

Disclaimer: This is a REWRITE of one of my old stories dated back to a year ago, so if it sounds familiar that is why. This story was originally written for Jung Jaehyun from NCT but seeing as though I've fallen out of love with kpop at the moment, I wanted to repurpose it for my new followers that I've harbored since The Venom Within, as I'm very proud of the way it was written and concluded that I wanted to share with you all. I did improve and change quite a lot so you won't be reading the exact same story and I decided to add a twist to it.

Note: This is more so a college au so the fact that Peter is Spiderman is insignificant...

Word Count: 4.k

_____________

Your boyfriend, Peter, had always been the most kind and caring person you knew. Ever since you met him, and even after months of dating, he still acted like the bashful, kind Disney prince you took him for. Only treating you with nothing but respect and admiration; you often wondered if this boy was even capable of making an insult, or had a bad bone in his body. Fore he acts way too nice and sweet for his own good. Controlling at times but it was with all good intentions...

Originally, you thought the kind gestures and lovely sweet talking was his way of subtly flirting, but after years of dating him, you came to the realization that it was just simply him. Peter didn't need to pretend to be kind and sweet like other guys; given that it was like second nature for him. You loved the boy to death. He showered you with so much love, spoiled you with affection. Treated you like his queen; His shining jewel. Out of the two years that you'd been together, not once has he wronged you.

    That is, up until this exact moment...

You stand there in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your cheeks. At this point you had stopped listening to what he was saying. In fear that if you continued to listen to his harsh words, more of your love would begin to fleet away, and you couldn't afford to lose any more. Despite of all your excessive yelling, you loved Peter. And he meant so much to you. But seeing him in this state, angry and hostile, attacking you viciously with his words, you began to question your future with him.

You couldn't quite fathom what brought on this newfound aggression in your relationship. Though, you had a slight seeking suspicion that it was from all the post-exam stress you both had to endure. Weeks upon weeks of studying and sleepless nights finally took its toll on the both of you. Thus bringing you to this exact moment in time. The once loving home corrupted by the harsh spoken words that fell from both of your lips. Anger and aggression filling the room, space welcoming the negativity with open arms. You had both tainted it...

That was not the boy you fell in love with, but instead somebody meaner, a-kind to venom...

Then again, you weren't a saint yourself either, words you wouldn't have ever thought of saying spilled out of your mouth like toxin. You needed to do something fast to mend your relationship back together...

The mere thought of breaking up with the man hurts you so dearly. You just wanted your loving boyfriend back from what ever abyss he dissapeared off to. Typically your fights never lasted this long, but this one proved to be quite challenging. You just wanted him to stop yelling. But in fear of the unthinkable outcome of your protest, you kept shut and held onto the remaining pieces of your heart. You knew for a fact that Peter would never dear to lay a hand on you, so you tried very desperately to push those thoughts aside. However, his following statements made both tasks very difficult. It was as if he was challenging your composure. Like he wanted the flood gates broken.

Like he wanted you to cave in to the malicious voice whispering in your ear...

His words could've very well be from all the stress, ..or pent up insults and remarks that he'd been silently keeping in. You had no way of telling. You prayed and hoped that it was the first one rather than the assuming latter. Because maybe then, you would consider forgiving him. Even though the words punctured you like bullets, penetrating your inner layers and hurting you in more ways than one. This was not your Peter... You questioned the morals behind his words, were they intended to hurt you, or was it just in the heat of the moment. Regardless, you knew that his words would be something that lingered on forever in your head.

"I don't even know why I stayed this long with you, honestly! What do I even see in you! Stop being so unreasonable! You're easily replaceable, so i don't see why you're acting so high and mighty. News flash y/n, i could do a lot better!"

         And there it was...

His current state and demeanor rivalled that of which the one you used to know. The soft spoken, kind, sweet, shy Peter. The one that still plays with legos despite being nineteen years old. You'd give anything to have him back...

You always knew that Peter could do better, but hearing this from him was a lot different than you saying it to yourself in your head. Before you had started dating you knew he had a chance with Michelle. She was a very pretty girl that went to your university, she was also Peter's chem partner... Michelle was nice, smart, and talented. You were very aware of the little 'thing' they had going on. So to your surprise, when you heard rumors of a certain Peter Parker, looking to ask you out, you almost didn't believe. Hell, you laughed straight into Brad's face and told him he was delusional. If only a hesitant, blush faced Peter wasn't stood right behind you to prove you wrong.

Ever since that day, you questioned Peter's choice. Why did he choose you, when he could've had a chance with Michelle? Someone he was more compatible with... You figured that he saw something special in you that nobody else did. Though, his previous statement proves you wrong and tells you that he doesn't even know why he gave you a chance. You're at a drift, not knowing where this relationship is headed, or where to stand. Knowing that you were replaceable to Peter weakens you. Were you really that insignificant to him? Were you a chore to be around? If so then why did he stay for two years? All these questions ran through your mind as you're frozen in a state of shock. How do you follow such a thing?

You stand silently, wails threatening to break free from your lips, as you shake. Instantly covering your mouth with your palm. You watch as he screamed at you more, words blocked out by the ringing in your ears. Truthfully, you were glad you couldn't hear his words, not knowing how to reciprocate to any more of his personal attacks.

The familiar feeling of despair began to conjure in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest began to focus on your beating heart, constricting you like a boa preying on its meal. Everything around you became a hazy blur as the non stop ringing became more prominent. The cause being your angry boyfriend and his heart-wrenching words. Jolts of anxiety began to climb up from your figure tips, like a thousand spiders crawling on your skin. A feeling you know all too well crept up from behind you. You were beginning to feel frantic and scared, as your breathing became unstable.

You were becoming erratic, desperate to end the fight and be in his arms again.

"What!? Huh, not gonna clap back with some snarky remark. Admit it, you know im right!"

Peter's face was a striking shade of scarlet while he paced back and forth, hands finding themselves tangled in his hair as he mumbled inaudible words. His hair, you remember running your hands through his curly, brown locks this morning when you woke up. Oh, how happy and blissful you both were twelve hours prior to this moment. You both were so content and hopeful with the prospect of your relationship. Being able to finally spend time with each other after a stressful week. Originally, you had planned a date night with Peter. But things began to make a turn for the worse when he began to insult every little thing you did. Now here you were, an hour and forty-five minutes late for your reservations.

A taste for bitterness began to fill your mouth, as your insides churned. Waves of sadness and despair hit you like a tsunami. You suddenly couldn't stand the thought of staying in the same room as Peter. Let alone sleeping in one. Fore his words had impacted you like an arrow through the heart. You felt sick, disgusted, vulnerable, and above all else, hurt.

"God, you're such a fucking bitch sometimes!" Peter spat, but soon after stopped, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. Your once, fuming and aggressive facade was replaced with a much more subdued, fragile, hurt exterior, mirroring how you felt inside. You had given up. The bandage that held your heart together snapped.

You looked up at him, hurt written all over your face. Instantly, Peter rushed your way. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, apologize for calling you a bitch. But stopped when you held your hand out and shook your head, a sob erupting from your mouth. Suddenly, all the hurtful things Peter said rang through his own head.

Oh...

Shit!

"Baby, I-" He started, not knowing how to follow. His mouth suddenly became dry, letting out a sigh of regret. Voice coming out weak and pained. His chest tightening at the sight of what he has done to you. No no no no no no.... Peter knew you weren't the type to forgive and forget. Even if you both manage to somehow recover from this, he knew that his words would always be in your head. You would constantly doubt yourself and his transparency, thinking if it was all an act.

Regret began to eat away at him once again when he noticed your uneven breathing. Another punch in his gut when he took note of your shaking. Peter's eyes quickly darted to yours, his heart breaking when he saw the amount of fear in them. He was uncertain if you were scared of him or your emotions. He wanted it to be the second one. Peter never wanted you to see him in that light. Yet here you were, having an anxiety attack because of him...

He knew that feeling all too well, having suffered from anxiety of his own, but the fact that he was the one to force you into that state shattered him..

"Don't call me that...." You spat coldy, backing away slowly into your shared bedroom. Making sure he didn't follow and locking the door. Once in the cozy room, you sob like la llorona conveying grief. You couldn't bear to see all the happy pictures of you two, when he said so himself, you're nothing special to him. Without thinking, you began to rip off every Polaroid, framed pictures, and drawings from the walls. Not caring of ripping them. You threw them all on the floor. Your vision becoming clouded by tears as you sob. Ruining the white fabric of your oversized sweater with your makeup contaminated tears.

Your body halts, the last remaining picture was of the both of you on your first date. You always considered that day as the happiest moment of your life. But now knowing that you're just a pit stop in Peter's life, the memory manifests into something much darker than obsidian.

You inhale as you looked at the picture one more time. It was you kissing Peter on the cheek. He donned a beautiful cheshire smile, his freckles displaying proudly under the sunlight. He wore a red, hooded sweatshirt with his hero, Iron man's logo depicted on the top right corner. You always love it when he wore sweaters, especially that one. You remembered every emotion you felt as the picture was being taken. Even if you didn't, your expression held it all. You radiated happiness as the butterflies in your stomach became restless. You were so happy...

You sob lightly, your thumb caressing his face as you looked fondly at the picture. Suddenly, words that fell from his mouth earlier replayed in your head. He had purposely attacked your deepest insecurities. Jabbed and taunted you. The Peter you knew would never result to something so cruel and petty. Without putting much thought into it, you began to take the picture out of its frame.

Your ears perking up when you hear the familiar sound of the lock being picked. The jiggling of the doorknob was something you grew accustomed to. Having locked yourselves out of the bedroom on more than one occasion....

Taking one final breath, you rip the picture in two and retreated into the master bathroom. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, all hell broke loose. As if it couldn't have gotten worse alright. Your wails grew louder and more repetitive that you were being to sound like a banshee, mourning for her decaying heart. Eventually, you found yourself curled up in the bathtub, suppressing your cries into your knees as you lowered your head.

Peter finally succeeds in picking the lock, after what seemed like hours, and once he creaked opened the door of your shared bedroom, his heart broke in two. Parts of him began to deteriorate, he wished he had never said those hurtful things. He felt numb and out of touch with reality, sensing his anxiety looming over his shoulder. Peter knew that one of your biggest insecurities was never meaning much to somebody. And that weren't fond of feeling worthless and neglected. He knew your background and upbringing well enough to know just how much you disliked being treated as such.

All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away. A pool of sadness brimmed his eyes as he evaluates the damage. From one corner of the room to the other, pictures were left scattered and discarded. The framed drawings of him that you illustrated, sat on the floor of your bedroom, frame cracked and shattered. The Polaroids he held ever so dearly to his heart, littered the bed and floor. He broke down in tears when he sees the torn picture of you both.

How could you vandalize such a treasured memory. But then again, how could he hurt the most precious thing in his life. Seeing the picture ripped apart like this, he knew that somehow he affected your perspective on this whole relationship. His previous words had tainted such beloved memories, and twisted them to seem like nothing more than a one-sided love. He made you question whether he truly loved you or not. Suddenly the realization kicked in, and it kicked in hard. A tsunami of guilt and regret pierced through is heart. His insides churned and it suddenly became very hard to breathe. He suddenly became really aware of how dire this situation was. His following actions may break your relationship if he didn't act wisely.

Peter bends down to hold your piece of the puzzle, a river flow of heart ache cascading down his cheeks, wetting the captured image of you. Your sobs, which had begun to sound like cries of help, due to lack of air, rang threw Peter's ears. Suddenly he grew extremely concerned and rushed to the door, dropping your image.

Immediately, you stop when you heard soft knocks coming from the other end of the door, which was soon followed by cries and sniffling sounds.

"Baby, open the door!" You don't comply with his words and stayed seated in your place, hugging your knees tighter.

"W-what are you gonna do if i don't? Pick the lock and violate my privacy! Just go away P-peter! W-why don't you go find another girl to replace me, because apparently, i-i mean nothing to you!" Screaming at the inanimate door, or more so the person behind it, as you let out a cut short wail. You hated yourself for how weak and broken you sounded. Wishing, you could drown out his stupid words that had already engraved itself deep in your brain.

"Y-you said s-so yourself! I'm easily replaceable! I-if i had known that this relationship was just gonna be one sided then i would've never wasted my time!" Apparent in your tone and words how truly distraught you were, Peter cried harder, cold sweats engulfing his body. He winced at the thought of how broken you were. It only lead him to wonder, what exactly happened and what brought on this fight. Sounding more so a statement rather than a question in his head.

He parted his lips softly, a small whimpering sigh rolling off his tongue.

"Please y/n, just open the door. I-i just want to see you. Please... I-I need to know that you're okay...." his words laced with mixed emotions, such as sorrow and remorse. Despite his current emotional state, Peter's stature looked anything else but composed. God, he was freaking out..

Incoherently mumbling a soft 'please' as he laid his forehead onto the wood door. His hand resting above his head, fist balled tightly, as if ready to start pounding. He was desperate, eyes screwing shut tightly causing a flow of tears to glide down his cheeks. Peter's jaw clenched tightly in frustration, as he beat himself over and over again for saying such things.

After much hesitance, you stood up and made your way to the door. Peter hears the small shuffle and quickly straightens himself out. After seconds of hovering your hand over the knob, you twist it open, instantly unlocking itself and setting free all the pent up emotions. You crack open the door, almost immediately, Peter rushes in and hugs you.

You don't return the hug, silently stiffening in his arms. At that moment, the last few bits of composure you had built back up snaps loose. You become a crying mess in Peter's arms. Feelings of unmeasurable sadness cascade down your cheeks, onto his black long sleeve shirt. You try and push him away, but fail due to his strength. His muscular arms constricting you as if you would fade away.

"Listen to me please." He says softly, tears lightly streaming down his cheeks, though, not to the caliber of yours.

You sniffle lightly, thrashing in his arms. Though, it was no use, his hold was so secure that no amount of resistance would break you free. So, you could do nothing else but endure what he has to say.

"I'm sorry-

Sorry doesn't fix anything Peter, it's just a word!" The teary-eyed male hissed at your words. The amount of hurt and venom your tone held was enough to make his jaw clench and his hold to tighten.

"I know it doesn't, but it's a start. L-look, i didn't mean to say that. I don't know what came over me, or what caused me to say those things. But what i do know is that they were a hundred percent untrue. And i want you to know that..." He pauses briefly to wipe away your tears with his thumb. Dipping his head into the crook of your neck. He took in your floral scent, hoping it would help him regain composure. You feel a tug on your heart at how utterly hurt and small he sounded.

"I love you with all my heart, and that you are the most unique girl I've ever met... If anything i don't know how i even managed to get a girlfriend as beautiful and amazing as you..... Wanna know why I'm with you?" You nod lightly into his chest. His hold readjust itself as he lays his head above yours. Almost content with your slight gesture, but he needed to be sure you were happy.

"It's because you accept me for who i am. You don't pressure me to be perfect all the time, you welcome my flaws with open arms; don't expect anything from me and shower me with so much love everyday... I want you to know that i could never replace you, not that i would ever want to. How did i ever get so lucky... Please y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life.... I-i can't loose you too..." Peter couldn't fathom a future with out you in it. He grew frantic, thinking that this day could be the last together. And that there would be a slight chance that you didn't want to forgive him again. He couldn't let that happen...

"Please say something...." He sighed whilst tears brimmed his eyes, taking your tightening hold on his shirt to keep moving forward.

"Do you remember when we first started dating, that night i texted you that i was frustrated and my anxiety was acting up... And you came over in a heart beat, even though you lived fifteen minutes away... Y-you told me to let it all out, and i cried in your arms for an hour, complaining about everything. I felt so ashamed for crying in front of you, but you told me that i was so brave for accepting my feelings... I know what i said must've hurt you a lot, but I'll do better... I'm sorry for triggering you like that." Peter's tone was barely above whisper, and if he hadn't have said it directly above your ear, you would've missed it. There he was... your Peter....

You thought back to the said memory and smiled fondly, that was the night you both realized that you wanted a more serious title on your relationship. Finally labeling each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. You thought back to all the happy memories you both shared and confirmed that a silly little fight wouldn't get the best of you. Yes, his words might've hurt, but his actions now out ways all of his petty insults. You give into your flourishing heart and forgive him.

Backing away from his chest lightly, you look up at him, gasping slightly at his blood shot eyes. You hesitatly reach up to cup both of his cheeks. Wiping away the remaining tears that streamed down his face. He smiled lightly and leaned into your touch, taking one of your hands in his and place a soft, delicate kiss on it.

"We'll be okay...." You smiled at his comforting words before planting a passionate, loving kiss on his lips. Peter smiled lightly before taking your wrist on his hold and guiding them to wrap around his neck. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer by your waist.

It was then that he realized that he wanted you to be the only women in his life. And that he wanted nobody else. Suddenly feeling an overly compelling urge in his heart to make up for his actions overcomes him. He was determined to trap you in his web of love again. He couldn't loose you too...

You smile in content, 

          portraying the victim always worked...

'Indeed, we'll be just fine.....'

Perhaps they were both awful people, fooling each other with the reality they both created. But it was done with the intent of love, sick twisted love... He was possessive and she was insecure. And together they were toxin and venom... God forbid anything that tries to get in between them...

_____________

End Note:

For those that don't understand, take notice in Peter's words and how drastically different they are from when he was mad to when he was apologizing. Sweet at first glance but if you really dig deep you'd notice how sugar coated everything seemed, like he's saying what you want to hear. And as for the Reader, I purposely left out how much she contributed to the fight in the beginning to make it seem as though she was the victim, when in reality she was also at fault. The anxiety aspect of this story was very much 'real' since I described what it felt like for me and I wanted her to suffer from anxiety yet have something be a little off. Now, I'm not claiming that the bedroom part was a whole scene to feed her victim persona, but that's up to how you want to view it. This story is subjective and can be taken however way you want to.

[lover-of-skellies]

9, Nightberry? (uwu angst)

I've never written anything for this particular ship (since I'm assuming you're talking about Nightmare x Blueberry), so I hope it's at least halfway decent. This was supposed to be a horror prompt, I know, but I somehow made it really fckin sad instead, so rip anyone who reads it, I guess

A forewarning: this includes some major character death toward the end

-

"I'm here, Night! What did you wanna talk about?"

The guardian of negativity glanced up from his book, swiftly marking his page and closing it, tucking the item into his jacket. He sighed softly, trying his best to remain relaxed as he watched the smaller skeleton approach him, all too cheerful and at ease for comfort.

Oh god. He was really about to do this, wasn't he?

Nightmare slowly stood up, his single cyan iris focused entirely on the swap skeleton as he cleared his throat, trying to search for the right words, "My staff aren't... the brightest, when it comes to anything to do with feelings. And I'd much rather die than talk to Dream about any of this." Blueberry tilted his head, clasping his gloved hands behind his back and offering the other a wide smile, accompanied by his signature starry sockets, "And you chose to talk to me? Oh wowzers, that's... unexpected, honestly, but the Magnificent Sans would be happy to assist you in whatever ways you need!"

Nightmare stared at the shorter of the two in silence for a moment, those bright, large star shaped eye lights almost mesmerizing. He felt his soul thud against his ribs and he did his best to will away the faint blush that had threatened to find its way onto his cheekbones, "Yeah, well... You're the only reliable source I've got. Anyways. Because my strength lies only in the negative, I need you to clarify some things for me, concerning a neutral emotion."

Blueberry nodded, his sockets wide with curiosity, "Alright, that sounds easy enough. What's the emotion?" The goop covered guardian hesitated for a moment, embarrassment beginning to rear its ugly head again, "...Love."

Under his sharp and observant stare, Nightmare took notice of the soft sky blue blush that faintly dusted across the smaller male's face at the word 'love'. He didn't understand what reason Blue could possibly have for being flustered too, but he brushed off the thought, continuing, "I need you to tell me what it feels like." Blueberry nodded again, his brow bones knit tightly in concentration as he fumbled for an adequate explanation, "Well... I guess... it feels warm? Happy, even. And full, like your heart finally found whatever piece was missing. When you love someone, you'd do anything to make sure they were safe and happy, and you just want to be near them, all the time."

The guardian was frozen in place, his expression fixed into a pensive stare as he thought over his companion's words. When the realization finally dawned on him, his shoulders visibly became tense and his cyan iris constricted in fear.

He was in love.

And of all people, he was in love... with Blue.

No. This couldn't be happening. Not to him, not ever, not over his dead body. When love is pure enough, it becomes a positive emotion, which would undoubtedly cause him harm. Blueberry himself would also unintentionally cause him harm if he got too close, as well. Shit... this wasn't good.

He slowly lifted his gaze to look at the swap skeletons' face again, his soul skipping a beat at the soft blue and gentle, warm smile he wore. Feeling a blush spreading across his own cheekbones, Nightmare mentally cursed at himself. If only Blue wasn't so damn cute-

The shorter of the two looked up at Nightmare, almost appearing bashful as he asked, "Why'd you ask?... Love isn't something that normally would've caught your attention, is it?" Night took a deep breath; fuck. This... this little twerp was smarter than he looked, too. Damnit all-

He shifted awkwardly in place, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck vertebrae, "I uh..." And now he couldn't even think of what to say. If he hadn't hated himself, he definitely would've now.

As if connecting the dots, Blue seemed to perk up, his sockets widening in surprise as he looked up at the guardian in shock. Eye lights once again shifting into large stars as another broad smile stretched across his face, and he took a few steps closer to the other, playfully nudging him, "Oh my gosh! You're in love, aren't you, Night?!" The skeleton in question tried to ignore the uncomfortable tingling sensation the other's excitement and happiness had begun to stir within him, and his cyan blush became visibly brighter as he scoffed, shifting his eye lights elsewhere. As long as he wasn't looking at Blue, he'd be fine. He could do this. He'd toppled entire worlds and drew strength from their suffering. What was one tiny little confession going to hurt?

He hesitated, fidgeting anxiously as he mumbled something under his breath. Not quite able to make out what he'd said, Blueberry raised a brow bone and tilted his head, "What was that?... I don't think I heard you." Nightmare mentally screamed at himself, wanting nothing more than to open a portal and go literally anywhere else than to stick around here. He drew in a deep breath, deciding to try again. His voice came out barely audible, but despite that, the words he'd uttered left the other in shock: "I... you. It's you... I'm... I love you, Blue."

Blueberry was silent, his sockets still wide as he stated at the guardian in disbelief. Nightmare reluctantly looked the swap skeletons' face, suddenly feeling anxious. At the sight of a single blue tinted tear rolling down his cheek, the guardian cringed; that tear wasn't one of fear or sadness... that was one of... happiness? What the...?

And then, with a brighter blush than he'd ever seen before in his entire life, Blueberry moved even closer to him than before, his gloved hands delicately finding the others face. Nightmare felt his body momentarily tense, but as he felt Blue's teeth press against his own, he began to relax again, melting into their first kiss with relative ease.

The positivity that Blue was giving off grew stronger, and the uncomfortable tingling Nightmare had felt before escalated, now a searing hot pain that ripped through his very being the way a hot knife sliced through butter; as much as he wanted nothing more than to continue kissing the one he truly loved, this degree of pain scared him. Tentacles emerging from his back and spasming as he fought with himself, he broke away from the kiss and nearly doubled over in pain. Blueberry frowned, his voice soft as he began to reach out to touch the guardian, "Night?... Are you ok? Did I do something wrong?"

Remaining doubled over, the guardian focused his hazy eye light on the others face, cyan tinted tears pricking at the edge of his visible socket as he shook his head, "N-No, it's not you... it's... the positivity. The positivity is hurting me, and it won't stop." Blue delicately brushed away the guardian's tears with his thumb, his expression fixed into one of concern, "What can I do to help you? There has to be something, right?" The tainted part of Nightmare's mind growled, recognizing Blue as the source of the pain, and his visible socket went wide in genuine fear, "Get away from me. Get away, Blue. It's not safe, you could get hurt if you stay here." The shorter skeleton solemnly shook his head, his voice soft as he offered the other a small smile in reassurance, "Don't worry about me, I'll be ok. I'm not gonna leave you though... you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Not anymore."

Nightmare let out a strangled cry of pain, absentmindedly swatting Blue's hands away and covering his face as he took a shaky breath, "Blue, that's very sweet, but I'm serious. You need to leave, NOW. My body's programmed to destroy whatever hurts me. You're making me feel things. Positive things. If you stay, you'll die!" Blue gently tugged Night's hands away from his face, gently holding them and delivering a soft squeeze. Meeting the guardian's gaze, he smiled lovingly, and Nightmare couldn't sense any fear or sadness in him... none whatsoever. Blue's voice was a soft murmur as he leaned closer to Night, "I don't care. I'm staying here because I love you, Nightmare."

Unable to suppress his cry of pain, Nightmare ripped his hands out of Blue's grasp, and they flew up to his skull, his clawed fingers beginning to scrape at the top of his head. His single eye light was constricted, now no bigger than a pin prick, and feeling his tendrils begin to spasm wildly again, he tightly squeezed his socket shut, sobbing, "I'm... I'm so sorry. I can't... I don't want to-"

The last thing he felt was a gloved hand delicately touching his face, and the last thing he heard was Blue's voice, no more than a whisper, "It's ok... I forgive you."

And then immediately following suit was the loud sound of bones snapping. Nightmare kept his socket squeezed tightly shut, not wanting to see Blue's expression. The silence was deafening, and as he felt dust drift through the stagnant air and cling to his face, he sobbed loudly. He was alone now... again. He dropped his hands back down to his sides, tipping his head back to look up at the sky. The only person who'd ever grown to love him despite what he'd become was gone, and it was his fault. Maybe someday though, he'd be able to see him again.

[antigenius]

Negativity... Begone. [Second Chance]

A/n: Here we are! I almost forgot to post it :”)) I’m also sorry that the lengths of these chapters are sporadic, I’m itching to post everything I’ve done already, but I’m holding back because I know it’d be bad to make myself be worried about this. Please message me if you’d like to be apart of the taglist!

Warnings: A very sad Sugawara, and some shock ig?

Taglist: @bakugou-jpg​ , @nyxdelanuit​ , @animefandomally​ , @icythotsenpai​ , @fallingintoimagination​ , @heyybrittannia​

So the story continues...

“I swear the colour changed!”

The walk home was filled with concerned glances from the people around the three, but Suga didn’t care enough to lower his voice. Daichi watched his friend in curiosity. Sugawara was cheeky yes, but he would never lie about something as precious as his soulmate, especially knowing his situation. He taps his chin in thought.

“Maybe you could ask the doctors?”

The boy sighed, twirling the string around his finger subconsciously whilst Asahi made sure he didn’t walk into a pole. “Mom would think I’d gone insane or something.” His eyes fall to the ground, downcast. “She already worried so much when I told her…”

He trails off, stopping in his tracks. His eyes brim with tears, but he swallows down his urge to bawl.

The two stop with him, watching. It wasn’t a normal sight to see; their most resilient friend, their most caring friend, the one that would hit them and shout “Negativity, BEGONE!”, crumbling out of desperation for a chance at true love. They couldn’t relate to him, their strings were red, as they should be.

Daichi places his hand upon his friend’s shoulder tentatively, knowing that Suga could and would break at any given moment. He was not only Suga’s friend, he was a captain. There was no time like the present to perform the role he was so proud of being.

“Don’t mind.”

The words tumbled out before he could really think about them. Asahi looked at him quizzically; the statement sounded insensitive, almost offending in a sense. Daichi continues.

“White string, red string, whatever colour string,” he rolls his eyes, “you have a chance, just like we had a chance.” He shrugs. “We could’ve never played volleyball again, we could’ve given up and forgot about being a powerhouse school, like we used to be.”

He sets himself in front of Suga, piercing gaze locking with sad brown eyes. “But we had a chance to win and we took it. You have a chance to find them, him, her, them, whoever, wherever. Fact is, there’s still hope, however small that may be.”

He finishes with a smile. “So when has a slim chance ever stopped us? Or you, for that matter?”

Honestly, he surprised himself at that point. He didn’t expect to sound so… Cheesy and inspiring. That was more Takeda-sensei’s job, or Asahi’s even. Sugawara himself would be a better choice in this sort of scenario. It seemed to work however, Sugawara had rubbed his tears away and puffed his chest, mimicking Nishinoya.

“Right, right.” He sniffles a bit, but grins. “Sorry, about, well…”

Daichi claps him on the back, knocking the wind out of his lungs. “Yeah, yeah, just stop crying. Negativity begone my ass.”

Suga smirks. “Oh? Shall I do it for you two then? You know, to disperse the negativity?~”

The so called ‘Captain’ tenses up, backing away from his friend in fear. “I-I think I’m good-“

“NEGATIVITY… BEGONE!”

He jabs both of the boys in their sides, causing them to double over in pain. They groan loudly, Asahi whimpering something along the lines of ‘I didn’t even do anything…’.

Well, at least Suga felt better.

~~~~

“Sugawara.”

The setter blinks, coming back down to earth. “Sorry sensei.”

Despite the pep-talk, Suga still felt desperate. A bit less than before, yes, but still utterly desperate. Hell, he’s always felt desperate, but it felt like the universe was mocking him. It felt like it was dangling hope right in front of his eyes, just to tease him.

Instead of dwelling on it further, he gets back into position, receiving the ball that was served to him.

‘Just focus. Focus, focus, focus.’

He really couldn’t, but he tried his best to. The elderly man grit his teeth in annoyance after watching him miss the nth ball this session.

“Take a break. You’ll get a penalty later.” He grunts. “Azumane!”

Suga hangs his head in shame, walking himself to the side and cleaning up any balls that came across his path. Hot tears prick at the sides of his eyes, and he clenches his fists. God, he just wanted to punch himself. He was so damn pathetic. Even after being cheered up,  after so many years of knowing the inevitable answer, his heart ached to think something different. Why? Why was he so stuck on it?

“Hey!”

Suga quickly wipes away his baby tears, a smile forcing its way onto his face. The smile freezes half-way as he realises who had called out to him.

Forehead damp with sweat, face red from running, (Y/n) heaved a breathless greeting to the silver-haired mess.

“S-sorry,” they wheeze, “I’m not as much as an athlete as you all, but I was scared I was going to miss seeing you guys!”

Sugawara cocked his head to the side like a lost puppy. “Miss seeing us?”

“Yeah! It’s pretty cool watching you guys play!” Their bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Though, I don’t exactly get what you guys do sometimes.”

Heat flushes into Sugawara’s cheeks. It flattered him that people other than the players enjoyed the game, or watching him fail, more like it.

“Thank you,” he rubs the back of his neck, an embarrassed chuckle leaving his lips, “if you don’t get something, you can always ask; we’re happy to help.”

They giggle along with him, not quite boasting the same bashful expression, but it was something along the line. “The thing I need help with is studies rather than understanding volleyball, but I appreciate it.”

The setter looks at him in curiosity. “Studies? I could help you, if you like.”

Upon hearing Suga’s request, (Y/n)’s eyes brighten in an instant. Their exhaustion is replaced with hyperactivity, lips weaving into a beaming smile.

“Really?!” They ask, almost bouncing up and down. “You would?”

Despite their loud, childish outburst in an adolescent’s body, Sugawara could feel his heart melt. His former misery trails behind him, grumbling as his signature cheery persona shows face.

“Sure! Whatcha having trouble with?”

They might’ve been sitting on the gym floor for a mere half-an-hour, but that half-an-hour felt so cleansing. They were funny, witty, charming, not to mention, a breath of fresh air, especially in the gymnasium reeking of sweat. For once, volleyball wasn’t on his mind in the gym. It felt a little freeing, not to just escape into the thrill of his favourite sport.

During their talk, Sugawara manages to glance at their hand. A light blue string connected from his hand to theirs, but the lilac string seemed to lead to nowhere. It went in the direction of their hand, but it continued after that. Internally, he sighs. Maybe he was getting so desperate he hallucinated. It was too good to be true anyway.

Time flies by, Sugawara had finished his penalty of five flying laps (a merciful day) with (Y/n) cheering him on. The two continue talking immediately as he finishes, and they stay behind to clean up.

“So, when are we gonna do it?”

Suga blinks. “Do what?”

“The study date!”

“A…” Suga screws his eyebrows together. “Study date?”

Realising how it sounded, they fluster around in a panic.

“It’s not what you think it means! I just always called things dates because it happens on a date, ya know?” They ramble, hands wringing together. “It’s like saying you have a girl or boyfriend! A girl that’s your friend! A boy that’s your friend! You know?”

Watching them go into a bumble about how words didn’t make sense, Suga lets himself smile in amusement.

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” He grins. “I just was confused is all. You don’t have to worry.”

Their blabbering stops. “R-right!”

They then place their hand in front of him, pinkie held out for a promise.

“You finish at five tomorrow right?” Their pinkie waggles in front of him. “We can go study at that new café and grab those gorgeous coffee shakes I’ve been craving for once you’re done.”

He stares at their pinkie. It looked normal, a lot smaller than his, but normal otherwise. No white string, no red string either, but he wouldn’t be able to see it either way. The only string he could see was the one that connected them together. A light blue string of friendship. He intertwines his pinkie with theirs, and his white string moves. It ties a knot between the two fingers.

They scream in shock.

[ericsonclan]

Made to Last

Summary: Allison's mind is clouded by fear and negative thoughts causing Prisha and Violet to worry and go check up on her.

Word Count: 2549

Read on AO3:

Allison stared up blankly at the beams of her bunk bed, her eyes studying the metal. Her mind seemed weighed down by what was spiraling in it. She didn’t know what it was but for some reason an uneasy feeling had washed over her the moment she had woken up today. A feeling that made her heart feel heavy and sent a tingling feeling down her arms that made the hairs stand on end. It wasn’t a feeling that she never experienced before, it was just that over time it had lessened. But now it had resurfaced.

She knew the reason why it had come back: it was because life was too good right now. She had a roof over her head, didn’t have to listen to the strict rules that had been beaten into her over the years while she was with the Delta, she had a group that felt like family to her and a place that felt like home, an uncommon concept for Allison ever since the world fell apart. She began to nervously pet the possum that was sleeping on her lap, her fingers rubbing the fur in between them as her mind continued to spin.

She had people who really truly loved her, wanted the best for her and would do anything to protect her. The thought terrified Allison. Not because she didn’t want that love but she was worried that sooner or later she would lose it. She always did. Allison knew the cold, hard truth: nothing lasts forever.One day the other shoe would drop and she would be back where she was years ago. Alone and afraid. It had happened before and it would happen again. With a groan, Allison scooted up into a sitting position, causing Garbage to tumble over with an annoyed hiss.

“Sorry,” Allison picked up the possum and placed it beside her, giving it a few loving pats before getting off the bed. It didn’t matter if she felt down today, there was work to be done and she was going to it. Her feet dragged across the floor as she grabbed her spear hammer and exited her and Willy’s dorm room. Her footsteps echoed throughout the hall and her mind wandered back towards the negative thoughts that plagued her mind. It was clear that they would be there for the entire day but there was nothing she could do.

So she continued down the hall and towards the door that led to the courtyard. The lively sounds of chatter made her glance up to see AJ happily playing with some of the younger kids while Prisha tinkered away at one of the picnic tables. Why she hadn’t bothered to go over to the workshop Allison had a pretty good guess. Knowing her it was probably that Prisha had gotten too caught up in the latest invention and couldn’t wait to work on it. Allison’s attention was pulled away from her parental figure, however, when she heard a bright, lively voice call out her name.

“Allie!” Willy ran over and stopped right in front of her with a  huge grin. The smile faded for a second though when he noticed her gloomy aura. “Hey, are you doing okay?” he asked with a concerned expression.

Allison looked up her boyfriend and gave a short nod. “Yeah,” Her eyes looked down at the ground again.

Willy didn’t seem to buy it. “Well, I have to go hunting with Aasim but when I get back we can talk. Okay?” His eyes tried to search hers but she kept them hidden, only giving a short nod in response. Willy wrapped her up in a hug and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “A kiss to help you feel better until I’m back,” He pulled back and gave a loving smile. Allison gave a short smile back and Willy gave her hand a quick squeeze before readjusting the bow on his back and running over to the front gate where Aasim was waiting. The two goateed men gave their final goodbye waves then headed out for the day to check the traps.

Allison’s dark eyes focused on the gate for a second, a small inkling of fear appearing in her mind before she squashed in and continued strolling further into the courtyard to see where she could help for the day.

Something was up. Violet may be partially blind but even she could tell that something was different with Allison today. Her stoic, calm demeanor had a more pessimistic edge to it and the emotions in her words felt more cut off and stilted. The blonde stared at the herb in her hand and tried to think of some sort of way to get Allison to open up about what was bugging her.

“You’re looking at that herb rather intensely.” Prisha’s voice appeared beside her. Violet glanced up at her love who leaned over and gave a gentle kiss before sitting down.

“Got stuff on my mind,” Violet began to pick at the herbs to prep them to dry for future meals. She remained silent for a moment as she adjusted her glasses then spoke again. “Something seems off with Allison today,”

“You’ve noticed that too,” Prisha’s voice held a worried edge. “I figured at first it was just that she hadn’t slept well since it was rather cold last night but now,” Prisha’s eyes wandered over to the girl in question. Allison was drawing pictures with a stick along with Savannah and Maisy who seemed to be having much more fun than Allison. The girl looked rather sad and lost in her thoughts. Prisha and Violet continued to watch for a minute or two. “I wonder what we can do.”

Violet thought about it for a few seconds. “Let’s go fishing together. I find going there helps clear my head. I can do this work afterwards.”

“Alright, that sounds good.” Prisha rose to her feet and offered her hand to Violet. The two wandered over towards Allison who glanced up when they drew near.

“Hey,” Allison mumbled then returned to her drawing.

“We’re going to the fishing shack and we need your help,” Prisha’s words made Allison glance up at her two parental figures again.

“Why?”

“Because it looks like you could use it,” Violet’s words caught Allison off guard and a flicker of shock and sadness danced in her eyes before they returned to their usual stoic look.

“Fine,” Allison got up and handed over the stick to Savannah. “Gotta go. I’ll draw later.” Those words made the kids sad but they soon returned to drawing. The trio began to get ready to head out, grabbing the necessary buckets then making their way to the gates when suddenly Louis’ bright smile appeared before them.

“Hey, where are you three lovely people heading?”

“Out,” Violet muttered and double checked to make sure her meat cleaver was securely in its sheath.

“We’re going to the fishing shack. I figure with all three of us we could get quite the haul.” Louis studied Prisha’s face for a moment and picked up the fact that there was clearly more going on here than just a family fishing trip.

“Okay, well, be sure to stay safe!” He gave a friendly wave then ran off towards the garden to help Clementine. With that the trio was off, wandering down the well-treaded path towards the fishing shack. Allison was silent the whole way there, only making a sound when she faced off against a walker as she bashed its skull in with the hammer part of her spear. Prisha and Violet didn’t push for any conversation, figuring it would be best to focus on such things when they were working on catching fish.

Prisha let go of Violet’s hand for a moment as they walked toward the shack when she noticed a walker roaming nearby, unclipping her ice axe and swinging at its skull. The dull light in its eyes faded away as it crumbled to the ground. Soon Allison and Violet had caught up with Prisha who put away her weapon.

“I’ll get the spears. Come on, Allison,” Violet walked forward and held open the door. Allison muttered a thanks and walked forward too, immediately making her way to where the fishing spears were placed. Grabbing one for herself, she grabbed another and handed it to Violet then grabbed a third one for Prisha. With spears in hand the pair went back outside where Prisha gave them a warm smile as she just finished placing down the buckets. “Ready to catch some fish?”

Prisha’s question was met by a half-hearted shrug by Allison. She took a spot by a small patch of dried-out grass and held up the spear as her eyes focused on the water. Violet and Prisha shared a look before taking their own fishing spots. Violet stood on a small rock by the water’s edge while Prisha took a spot on the other side of Allison.

“So, you seem a bit lost in your thoughts,” Prisha began, studying the water before jabbing her spear and catching the first fish.

“You can share if you want,” Violet added as her gaze remained on the water’s surface. Allison remained silent, her mind swarming with too many thoughts. Her gaze flinched for a moment, causing her to miss an easy catch. Allison remained quiet but the look in her eyes showed enough for the two to know that whatever was plaguing her mind wasn’t letting go.

“I’ll catch the next one,” was all Allison said before her stoic expression took over her face once more. This should be a nice moment to have with some of the people she cared about most. Instead she felt tense and lost.

As her dark eyes looked down at the water, Allison was reminded of happier times with those she had lost over the years. Different faces appeared through her mind: happy, bright people that this life had taken away from her. Those who deserved to have simply, joyful moments like she had been able to have at Ericson. The feeling of sadness overwhelmed her and tears appeared at the rims of her eyes.

“Allison,” Prisha’s concerned tone made Allison frown as she angrily brushed away her tears.

“I know,” The girl replied simply and stabbed the water even though there wasn’t a fish in sight. “I know how the world works.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Violet took a step down from her fishing spot and looked towards her daughter figure. Allison took a shaky breath and glanced over towards Violet.

“Things are too good right now. I have too much: Willy, you, Prisha.” Her grip tightened on the fishing spear. “Sooner or later, I’ll lose one of you.”

“Allison, I know that the world is cruel, but there’s no need to fear.” Prisha reassured. “Willy, Violet and myself along with all the others - we’ll be safe.”

“Others have said that too!” Allison snapped and looked at Prisha, “And now they are dead!”

Prisha was taken aback by Allison’s sharp tone but she couldn’t blame her for her reaction. Life had truly been unkind to the girl. It seemed as though it enjoyed giving her the false hope that things could be good then pulled the rug out from under her. Leaving her to pick up the broken pieces of a heart that she struggled to keep together.

“You’re right, others have said that and then they ended up dead,” Violet put down her spear and crossed her arms, her own emotions beginning to twist her heart. “That's just the kind of bullshit world we live in. But we have each other and we’ll fight tooth and nail to keep each other safe.” Her pale eyes locked with Allison’s dark ones. “I can guarantee that.”

“We will continue to protect each other,” Prisha caught another fish and used the edge of the bucket to push it off the spear. “Ericson is our home, one that is built to last. And together I believe we’ll remain safe for years to come. We won’t disappear on you.”

Those words made Allison look away. Clearly it hadn’t been the best choice of words but regardless she knew that Prisha had the best intentions. Violet and Prisha weren’t perfect, they couldn’t offer the perfect words to her but they were trying. They made it clear that they wouldn’t give up on Allison. She knew Willy never would either, everyone at Ericson would be there for her. That thought made Allison’s heat calm and recenter. Allison stared at the ground for a few seconds then resumed her fishing stance. With a deep breath she jabbed the water and caught a fish. A faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

Violet and Prisha shared a relieved look; they knew they couldn’t make those thoughts fully disappear but they would always be there to reassure Allison. The three began to fish again, their conversations turning to lighter topics as the buckets grew more and more full.

After a while Allison stepped back from the stream, a small smile on her face. “We should head back,” She began to move towards the fishing shack when Prisha spoke up.

“It’s not too late. If you’d like we could wander down the stream and look for some rocks,” Those words made Allison’s eyes shine in excitement. With a quick nod, she took the three spears and placed them away in the shack before reemerging, ready to add to her collection. The three of them walked along the stream, all of them on careful lookout for any unusual rocks.

“Allison, I think I found one.” Violet looked up from her spot where she crouched by a deep grey rock that was smoothed from being tossed and turned in the water. Allison knelt down and picked it up, closely examining it before giving a happy small smile. Violet returned the smile then continued on with the search. After a while they had found four rocks that Allison was proud to add to her collection. With a smile Violet picked up one of the buckets and took Prisha’s hand in hers while Allison took the other bucket and walked along Violet’s other side. The three walked in content silence as a few leaves fell from the trees that covered the path back home.

“Thanks,” Allison’s voice drew the other two’s attention towards her. “I did need that.” She gave a small smile which Prisha and Violet mirrored then continued to walk forward. As they neared the gates, Allison’s eyes caught sight of her pet crow. Crowbar was in the middle of staring intently at one of the bars of the gates before he heard the sharp whistle from his human friend. He flew over and greeted Allison with a caw. She looked up at him with a soft expression.

“Allie!” Willy smiled and gave a wave from the watchtower. The gesture made Allison’s heart warm; in that moment all her fears and sadness washed away. Her heart and mind instead focused on the positive and all the good that she had right now. She wanted to make sure she had this happiness for as long as possible.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x02 Review.

So I’m really late with this review I know, to be honest I was undecided about whether I was even going to write it because well this wasn’t my favourite episode and I try to avoid being too negative and this review did feel like I was being very negative and repeating alot of the issues that I had brought up in other posts and reviews but ultimately I decided that I had said I was going to review Season 5 and despite it not being my favourite episode I thought there were still some really great moments in there which I would like to talk about but overall I do feel like there were some plotlines that were too rushed and just not fleshed out properly. Also I can’t watch episode 3 until tomorrow morning where I am it’s like 1 am at the moment so figured I’d kill the time by writing this. But anyway lets get into it and as always these are just my own opinions you are welcome to disagree but please be respectful and obviously there are spoilers. 

Archie

So first I want to talk about Archie’s storyline. So here’s the thing I kind of feel like Archie has had PTSD since the blackhood shot his dad all the way back in season 2. I think each new bad thing that happened only contributed to it, going to jail and being forced to fight in the underground ring, being attacked by the bear and nearly dying, the whole survive the night thing with penelope, then his dad being killed by a reckless kid. Just one of those things would be traumatising let alone all of them at once. I also feel like he has never really dealt with any of that trauma properly until this episode when it all just spills over. I think KJ did an amazing job with this storyline. I think alot of his pain this episode stems from his father’s death. Archie is having all these big milestones that he should be sharing with his father but can’t. I mean he’s just had prom without his dad there, graduation is coming up and so Archie who already misses his dad is probably missing him even more. Then on top of that he gets this video tape that takes him right back to when he felt the weakest and he has to confront all of the anger and pain that wells back up again. To start wth Archie tries to work through the feelings with physical excerise, punching his boxing bag or going for a run, working out in his gym but when that doesn’t help he starts to have angry outbursts. I mean Archie has alot on his plate at the moment, not only is he trying to work through his feelings about his dad not being there for these big moments , he doesn’t know yet if he’s even going to be able to graduate with his friends and then there’s the whole having feelings for betty and veronica and that mess plus his mum asking if he wants to write the letter for the guy who killed his dad. I think Archie said it best when Betty asked him if something was wrong and he replied what isn’t wrong. Also I’m sorry to say this but a really hated that scene. Not because of Archie snapping at Betty but because it made me a little irritated at Betty. I mean Betty at this point knows that Veronica found the song Archie wrote for Betty and that he doesn’t know if he’s going to graduation and she’s standing there with her arms wrapped around the guy she chose over Archie asking him if there is something wrong, I don’t know it just seemed like both an insenistive and kinda dumb thing for Betty to say. I want to make it clear that I’m not hating on Betty here we all have flaws and I think its more an issue with the writing than anything else but yeah that scene irritated me a bit. Also it did show us that whilst Veronica is still very much sticking to the lets pretend everything is fine plan Archie clearly is not comfortable with the plan and it does seem to me like he feels alot of guilt about lying. In my opinion Archie is the kind that whilst he makes mistakes he likes to own up to them and tell the truth so not telling Jughead the truth doesn’t feel right to him and I think this is frustrating him and the only reason he hasn’t come clean is because of Betty. Another issue I had with Archie’s storyline this episode is something that I’ve talked about before several times and it’s one of the shows biggest flaws in my opinion which is the storylines and characters not crossing over at all. I mean its pretty obvious in this scene that Archie is struggling at the moment and you’d think that having seen this his friends would reach out to him and try to support him and yet just like last episode there is practically no interaction between the core four in this episode. I mean even something as simple as one of them trying to ring Archie and him not picking up and then one them saying they are worried about him would do, something as little as a couple of lines of dialogue to show that his friends are concerned for him but instead it just came across as his friends either didn’t care about what he was going through or were too wrapped up in their own lives to notice that Archie needed them.

One of my favourite scenes was when Mr Augustine comes to see Archie and ask him to write the letter for his son instead and Archie makes that speech about how he understands that his son made a mistake when he hit his dad and that it was something Archie could have done himself but that the one thing Archie wouldn’t have done was keep driving. I do think this is true like I said before Archie is someone who will own up to and try to make his mistakes right. I think this scene also really showed how much pain Archie is in and how he is struggling with forgiving the son despite understanding that the son had made a mistake. I just think KJ’s acting in this scene was soo good and he hit the right balance between anger and pain. 

Another scene that I thought was really heartbreaking was when Archie comes home and finds his mum watching the tape. I just felt so bad for Mary seeing what Fred and Archie went through because of the Black Hood and her realising just how much trauma her son was keeping inside. My heart really broke for her when she said ‘I need to know what’s going on inside of you.’ This poor woman can see how much her son is struggling but he’s keeping it all inside and I know how scaring it is when you know someone is in pain but they are hiding it and you don’t know what’s going on inside their head. Also I find it so sad that Archie still feels like he was a coward and that he let his dad down. It’s after this conversation that Archie really goes over the edge though and smashes up the tv and then his uncle shows up and I think his uncle knew whated he needed, that he needed to get the anger out however I’m not so sure the method of letting Archie beat the living crap out of him was the best but I spose it seemed to work and again it really wrenched at my heart when Archie finally broke down crying hugging his uncle also I did get chills when the camera panned to the punching bag and you see that its covered in blood where Archie has been hitting it so much that his hands have bled. 

Ok so now I want to talk about my absolute favourite part of the episode, Archie’s letter to the judge. I full on teared up when I heard it like everything about it was perfect and I just know Fred would have been so proud of his son for writing it but the one line that really made me cry was the line ‘Fred Andrews believed in lifting up those around him and in second chances.’ If you could sum up Fred Andrews in one sentence it would be this one because Fred was always supporting those around him and trying to help them achieve their best. 

Charles and The Auteur Mystery

If Archie’s storyline was my favourite of the episode then this was my least favourite. My biggest issue with it was how rushed it was also the reveals were really underwhelming in my opinion. So this sotryline is kicked off with Betty and Jughead getting a call at 3am from Bret telling them he has information and asking to be moved to Solitary. But when Betty and Jughead go to visit him the next day and discover he’s been brutally murdered. At first they think it was David who killed him but then David himself shows up dead in what looks like an apparent suicide. But then the mystery thickens when Donna calls Betty afraid and on the run because someone is killing the Stonies and tells Betty that Joan is dead too and she thinks she is next and that it is connected to them trying to kill Jughead. Betty of course is having none of it and puts the phone down on her. But the next day she trys to get a hold of Joan and finds out that she really was killed by someone bashing her head in with a rock. So we reach the reveal of Charles being a serial killer. I full on rolled my eyes at this reveal. I hated it no other way to put it I just straight up hated and not just because I really like Charles’ character and seeing his relationship with Jughead and Betty grow but because it made little sense and wasn’t properly explored. To me it almost seemed like they got to this episode and then suddenly remembered that plot point where Charles visited Chic in prison and thought crap how do we explain that oh I know lets just have him murder some people in this episode and say he’s a serial killer that’s shocking right? Except it wasn’t shocking at all. Especially when by this point in the episode Hermosa had killed three people and Penelope had wiped out at least six people who happened to be her own family all because they weren’t letting her daughter get her own way. And then they expect me to be shocked that Charles killed two people and asked his boyfriend to kill a third. Also at least Charles had a fairly decent motive unlike Penelope, he killed the Stonies because they had tried to hurt his little brother and pin it on his little sister and most of them got away with it and he killed David because he was helping Bret but I also think that him letting Jelly Bean have access to those tapes could have played a part into it, I mean it is like Charles says he only kills horrible people who hurt the ones that he loves, and he does seem to be very protective of his siblings, it’s sweet in a very dark twisted kind of way. But like I said this plotline had no build up at all. I mean the whole Stonie’s murder mystery was started and ended in this episode they could have done it so much better just by moving things around a little. If they had revealed that Joan had been killed in an earlier epsiode for example. Maybe right after Jughead discovered the tape of masked Betty hitting masked Jughead over the head. How much creepier would have been for them to see that tape and then right after find out that Joan had been killed by a rock to the head? Not only would it have heighted the mystery of the tapes but it would have introduced the new mystery of who was killing the preppy’s sooner. Then they could have had Bret die 5x01 after Betty and Jughead went to see him they could have gotten that phone call they got in this episode and then found out he had been killed. Then have the final murder have David happen in this episode and the reveal that Charles was the one behind it. The mystery would only have been a few episodes longer but at least it woul dhave given us as an audience time to one get invested in the mystery and two actually wonder who could be behind it like we did with the video tapes. Also another thing that disappointed me was the lack of reaction from Charles’ family, like they hardly react at all, we don’t see Alice and FP’s reaction to the news either so again that was really underwhelming. But I think the thing that bothers me the most about this particular storyline is that if you took it out it would make no difference to the plot. Like this plot point of Charles being a serial killer changed nothing and was so unnecessary. But it’s ok I know a way they can fix this (just as a disclaimer they are not going to do this but its a fun idea so) I am chosing to believe that there is another twist to the story and that actually Charles is a victim and actually innocent in this, I’m choosing to believe that the Farmies, through Chic hypnotised Charles to kill the Stonies and David because Evelyn was working with them in the plot to kill Jughead and frame Betty and when they heard Bret was talking to Betty and Jughead they decided to tie up some loose ends and get rid of the Stonies. Also they wanted to get revenge on Betty and Alice for their roles in Edgar’s death and Evelyn’s imprisonment and so decided taking Charles away from them was the right price for them to pay. Yes I know it’s got some holes in it but I still think it’s a better storyline than the one we got so I’m sticking with it. In all seriousness though despite not likely how his character turned out I do hope we see Charles again. It is possible that maybe a little down the line they’ll give him a redemption arc I mean in Riverdale is murder really that terrible of a crime? I think the saddest part for me about this reveal is that I feel like Charles played a big part in helping Betty overcome her fears around having the serial killer genes because she knew her big brother had them too and he had his stuff together and was a respected FBI agent and if he could live a normal life and not go around killing everyone because he has these genes then she can too. Now they’ve taken that away from her which is probably going to make her doubt again and make her feel like a ticking timebomb. I just don’t think its necessary to make every person who comes into these characters lives evil. Also it is a rehash of the whole evil brother thing that they did with Chic and I said way back when Charles first started acting a little shady that I hoped they wouldn’t do a repeat of that storyline because that’s just boring and that’s exactly what they did. It would have just been so much more interesting to have him be morally grey but not a full out phsycho who kills people. Anyway I think I have ranted on long enough about this topic so lets move on to another underwhelming plot reveal. 

Jelly Bean is behind the tapes. See this is one that really should have been shocking. But again the way it was written just made it seem so underwhelming. Like the reason for her doing it was so weak, she didn’t want Jughead to go to college. Also I wasn’t hyped on the way the characters just shrugged it off like she full on terroised the whole town not just Jughead she brought Archie’s trauma back up causing him to pretty much have a break down this episode so she better march herself over to the Andrews house with a really good apology and start saving up to buy them a new TV because that’s the least she could do. Instead she just says she’s sorry to FP and gets a hug. I get the whole message they are saying here that Riverdale has created this situation were kids are doing really dark things but because of the amount of trauma they are put through they have got to the point when they themselves don’t even recognise when they are doing something really dark. I just think it could have been better written. Especially because other than Jelly Bean we didn’t know who any of the other people are in those videos. They mention that she had been hanging out with Ricky again and he was the one who started helping her with the tapes, they could have easily put a scene or two in where we saw them hanging out together even if it was just quick shots of them in the background of other scenes like we spot them sitting together in a booth at Pop’s. At least that would have given some build up to the reveal but again like Charles’ it kinda came out of nowhere. Also is it just me or are there a lot of people invested in what’s going on with Jughead I mean there’s Jelly Bean making the tapes, Charles murdering people for even daring to attempt to hurt a hair on his baby brother’s head and Veronica who pretending to still be with her ex to spare Jughead the pain of knowing his girlfriend cheated on him. Look I love Juggie too I’m just not sure he’s worth this much trouble especially as they are doing more to make his life more complicated than making things better for him as they are intending. Come on guys Juggie is a big boy you’ve got to let him deal with his own problems. Also as a side note I did find it kind of funny that when Jughead decided to tell FP about Jelly Bean he took his alcoholic Father for drinks, though it does look like whilst Jughead is drinking alcohol FP looks like he’s drinking water. 

Blossom and Lodge Family Drama     

 Ok these two plotlines I’ll be honest I didn’t care a whole lot about it was just kind of the same old stuff we’ve seen before. I did like the Lodge woman all banding together and standing up to Hiram and I love that Hermione finally grew a backbone and decided to divorce Hiram. But I must confess their plot to overthrow Hiram and the way they went about it was kind of dark I mean Hermosa literally arranged to have their own father beat up. I do think that maybe Hermosa has an ulterior motive to wanting to overthrow Hiram and if she sticks around in season 5 I could see her becoming an even worse villan than Hiram though it does seem like from some interviews with KJ that Hiram is going to be taking all that extra time to make Riverdale even more of a mess than it is already so we’ve got that to look forward to. 

As for the Blossom storyline again I didn’t care a great deal about it. I think it’s sweet that Cheryl is trying to right the wrongs her family has committed over the years by creating sanctuary land for the Uktena people. I also find it hilariuosly over the top that when they refuse and Cheryl tells her mother her mother’s respose is to just straight up kill them all. Especially as Penelope usually only does something if it benefits her and I’m not really sure how this will benefit Penelope unless it’s just an oppurtunity to revenge kill the family. Again I feel like there is probably more to this plotline and that it is somehow going to come back to bite Cheryl in the butt but only time will tell. Other than that I don’t really have much to say about these storylines. 

Theories for episode 3 

So my theories for 5x03 are 

1) FP will leave Riverdale with Jelly Bean to protect her from the town’s corruption and hopefully get her plenty of therapy. 

2) Betty will finally tell Jughead about her kiss with Archie. I really hope she is the one to tell him and that he doesn’t hear it from someone else. And I also really hope that he does find out because it’s starting to seem like he won’t and I don’t think that’s fair to Jughead and honestly will make me think less of Betty. 

3) Betty and Jughead will break up realising that with the distance they won’t make it especially as the trust between them has broken due to her kissing Archie again, if he can’t trust her when they are in the same town then how can they make it work when they are apart. 

4) Betty and Archie still won’t talk to each other and that’s gonna really annoy me. I mean they’ve only been friends since childhood so why would they need a one on one scene right. 

5) Kevin and Fangs might finally confirm their relationship. 

6) There are going to be lots of moments that are going to make me cry. 

7) There will be no mention of Charles or the effect him being a serial killer had on the family at all. 

8) Cheryl will be arrested for her uncle and maybe the rest of her family’s murders. 

9) There will be lots of references to Fred and maybe Archie saying goddbye at his grave before leaving for the army and that’s defo going to make me cry.

10) The last few minutes of the episode will be a flashforward of Betty with the gun and will set up the new mystery. 

So that’s it for now, I’m gonna be staying out of the Riverdale tag now as like I said earlier I’m not going to be able to watch the episode for hours yet where I am it doesn’t come on to Netflix til about 8-10am in the UK. 

[limwen]

Merman x female human (Chapter 3)

Here comes chapter 3! As always leave a heart if you like it and if you have time, leave a comment! Any positive and negative feedback is always welcome ^^

Link to other chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Enjoy!

~~~

The following days, Alice found herself immersed in her work, her only solace being the chirping of the birds and the red fruit scented tea she would prepare every once in a while to keep herself hydrated. She was unaware that a very unlikely creature, one completely different from the birds, the fishes or any other animal the forest gave home to, was quietly and curiously watching her form, leaning over the computer: this strange creature, who was not human yet shared with humans many characteristics, among which a greater intelligence, was actually wondering what that girl was doing all the time clicking and looking at a strange surface that seemed to change in appearance. Days passed by and Alice was growing frustrated with how John Hutton was actually starting to gain consensus among people in the village. She suspected it had to do with the way they had been so willing to pay for her own consensus only two weeks before. She started to think that something had to be done, but she hardly thought she would be capable of standing her ground alone. While mulling over these thoughts Alice found herself, once again, standing on the rocks surrounding the lake. She took off her shoes and sat onto a rock dipping her legs in the water. At first the freezing temperature made goosebumps appear on her skin, but she quickly adjusted to the temperature, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of the summer sun. A few minutes passed by and again Alice heard the otherwise calm water near her slosh around. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was the same pair of eyes that had haunted her dreams ever since she first saw them: this time, however, that same golden blue was staring back at her and didn't vanish the moment she blinked her eyes. This time, under the bright sunlight, Alice clearly saw they belonged to a person, a man, hiding behind some rocks. She could only see his eyes and his messy black hair: she noticed his hair was wet and some strands were falling down on his forehead... What the hell was that man doing?! Why was he swimming in her lake and hiding behind some rocks?! Alice suddenly snapped out of her trance and, not knowing what to do, after all he hardly seemed hostile, even though he seemed very strange, asked him: "Soo... What are you doing there?" At the sound of her voice his eye opened wide in fright and he ducked beneath the surface of the water trying not to make any sound. Alice found herself at a loss for what to do. So she stood on her feet gaining a clear view of the man hiding in the lake. She took a cautious step forward him and was about to say how it was useless hiding like that when she clearly had already seen him, when she was suddenly met with a vision that almost convinced her that she was actually dreaming. Before her very eyes, clumsily hiding in the lake, was a — how could she even say that word without doubting her own sanity — a... merman: instead of his legs, a beautiful tail was slowly swishing around in the water. Alice stopped dead in her track, her mouth hanging open as her eyes tried to take in what was the most incredible thing she had ever seen. What brought her out of her stupor was the... merman... starting to emerge from the water, leaning on the rocks to get a better view of her, and saying something. She blinked and slowly realized he had been talking to her. "I'm s-sorry... What did you say?" She asked, keeping her voice as low as possible, afraid this might be only a dream and any disturbance could make it end. "What's your name?" His accent was strange. Alice was, again, taken aback and answered still in shock: "Alice..." Some more time passed in silence, both staring at each other and neither knowing what to say. Until Alice thought that asking his name, before asking 'what' he was in the first place, might be nicer. "What's your name?" She asked trying to remember to breathe amidst her stupor. The merman made then a very strange sound which slightly reminded her of the clicking sounds dolphins make. Then he explained: "My name doesn't exist in human language". Alice was again at a loss for words. So she asked the only thing that she could think of: "Soo, you're not human?" Damn it, why do I always sound so stupid — she thought to herself lowering her gaze and blushing — it's obvious he's not human, stupid Alice. She looked up again at the sound of his laugh. His mouth was tilted in a slight smile and in his eyes she could see a glint of playfulness that put her on guard. "I'm a merman. This lake is my home". Alice knew then that that time, when she thought she had only dreamed it, it actually was him she had seen. "So it was you I saw, that time, a month ago". "Yes, it was me". "How do you know English?" "Before you came living here, an old man was living in the house. He helped me when I was little and inexperienced. I actually come from the lake above this one but when I was little, I got lost and found myself here. During that travel I had injured myself and the old man treated me". Alice listened to his story sometimes giving her thigh a little squeeze just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "What happened then? Were you able to go back?" "My parents came searching for me after some days and I was able to return. Yet I never really liked that lake because a village of men was near it and we had to hide constantly. The moment I reached adult age, I decided I'd be living here where the only person who could see me was not a threat". "... I'm sorry, I feel like I've intruded in your place and didn't even ask permission..." She replied lowering her gaze. Another laugh came from the merman before he answered: "You don't need my permission to live in the house, if I didn't like you, I would have moved to another place already. We merfolk are used to moving..." Here he made a slight pause, a shadow of sadness visible on his face, before he looked at Alice again with a bashful smile: "But thank you, for your concern. It seems this house can only be inhabited by nice humans". Alice felt a smile tug at her lips, relieved he didn't think of her as a threat. "Can I ask you... how exactly can you trust me so easily?" The playfulness returned full in the merman's eyes and with a smirk he answered Alice, making her turn bright red: "I don't think I would ever feel threatened by such a cute girl". Now Alice was positive she could explode. Wh-what did he mean with 'cute'? Oh my god, why was it so embarrassing!? The merman seemed to read her mind: "I happened to hear, those times you thought no one could hear, when you read out loud the novel you're translating. If I remember correctly, you were insulting the samurai's mentor because of his, as I recall you said..." Alice was slowly dissolving in a puddle of embarrassment turning impossibly red "... 'asinine' views about marriage, didn't you? Also, do I have to remind you that time, when you were trying to fix the windowsill but you ended up..." "Stop it, okay I get it! God, you don't need to remind me any of it. I get it, I'm clumsy! Now can we please talk about the fact that you were spying on me?" Alice tried to save her situation by reversing the roles but she wouldn't be able to do just so, if his smug smirk had anything to tell. "How can anyone refrain from such cute scenes?" Alice felt like she could facepalm at that moment. Great, she had just discovered a merman living in her lake and obviously he had to ruin everything by being such a tease. She actually started laughing, maybe because the situation was so unlikely and strange, maybe because she couldn't believe any of it, but she noticed the merman laughing with her.

After she calmed down he started speaking again: "Don't worry I didn't spy on you on purpose. I usually stay clear of this part of the lake. As much as we are different from you humans, we actually also have the concept of privacy. It happened only those two times that I mentioned before... And the actual reason today I decided to speak with you was because I also heard what you said to that man the other day". "You heard?" "Yes, I appreciate what you did. It was very brave. This why I thought I could trust you only now, even though you've been here for a long time, but we merfolks have to be extremely careful of humans". Sensing the sadness in him she said: "I can't even imagine what it's like... hiding away in one's own home because of the cold-heartedness of others. We humans certainly don't give nature the right amount of respect". "You clearly do". He interrupted her, smiling gently. She noticed his eyes closed when he smiled and had to remind herself to answer before losing herself in his beauty. "I don't know... I think I try my best..." Her eyes suddenly darted toward his tail. She stared at it, mesmerized by its sinuous movements through the water. Noticing her stare he said: "Come closer, I won't hurt you".

She stepped closer, finally sitting on the rocks near him. Meanwhile, he hoisted himself up onto the rocks (Alice was very distracted by his arm muscles bulging under his pale skin and another blush covered her cheeks) and seated himself so that his the ending part of his tail remained in the water but the rest of it was illuminated clearly by the sunlight. He then turned towards her and smiling at her waited patiently while she admired the colors of his tail. Alice didn't think words could describe it: being a translator, she thought she was experienced when it came to choosing the right words to describe just about anything... in this case she could only admire the colors dancing and reflecting under the sunlight and she tried to remember them as if she was a painter. The skin on his torso was very pale, but going down towards where the scales began, it started to take on a bluish tint. Then started the first scales: these were a light blue and reflected a darker blue whenever he moved, the same color the scales seemed to acquire lower in his tail. They turned darker and darker until they started reflecting a dark green light. The fin at the end of his tale was not covered in scales, it seemed to move like silk in the water and the greens and the blues mixed in it seamlessly. He also had other three fins, smaller but similar in texture to the other one, two at his sides and another on his backside, each starting just under where his skin gave way to the scales. Alice was currently staring at the fin on his left side, facing her, which laid delicately on the rocks. "You can touch it if you want, just be delicate". Transfixed, Alice slowly reached her right hand forward until she felt the texture of the fin under her fingertips. It was so soft… she didn't think it would be like that. It seemed to be kept somewhat fanned out by what seemed like a bone structure. This left fin held a more violet hue compared to the rest of the tail. She was so concentrated tracing her fingers slowly up and down the fin that, at first, she didn't notice the grin the merman was sporting watching her. Only when she looked up and saw his expression, she remembered how teasing the words he had just said sounded. That was the moment she thought he would be the death of her. Being 22 years old one would expect for Alice not to become a stuttering mess every time she talked to a man, but that's exactly how she was. Having never had brothers and having never experienced a relationship (and for that matter even a first kiss) in her entire life, the shy Alice found herself completely ignorant to the world of men and how to approach them. Yet, always the romantic type, she continued on in blissful ignorance with her life, hoping in her heart someone would just come and sweep her off feet. Certainly, her mind subconsciously already saw this man... well merman... as a potential 'knight in shining armor'... Alice would say a very-attractive-and-very-naked-without-his-armor 'knight in shining armor'. Anyway, not only she wasn't able in general to interact with male specimens, and this one was a very intense male specimen (not even a human specimen if we want to be precise), but her poor heart absolutely didn't know how to handle someone who seemed to be flirting with her. It was this thought that sobered up Alice, that bitterly realized that one reason for why she never even had a relationship in the first place was that she was not considered attractive and not even one man ever approached her. While her blush finally started disappearing she turned and this time, looking at him, noticed his shoulder long black hair, and noticed he had three earrings, small golden rings, on his left ear. "Do the earrings mean anything?" "Not really, many merfolks have earrings. We have a similar fashion in jewelry to the one you humans have. I think we were inspired by your art, even though many merfolk like to deny it". He concluded smiling. Suddenly the phone Alice kept on the table in front of the house rang. This scared the merman who readily jumped into the water and disappeared from sight. Alice hurried to answer the phone and even after the call ended the merman didn't resurface again for the rest of the day, leaving Alice wondering if she would ever see him again.

[welcometophantomhive]

I’m totally not requesting this because I’m in a depressingly similar situation... *cough* Could I please have headcanons for Charles Grey and Ciel. Their normally very bubbly and sweet s/o (who often puts the needs of others before her own--and honestly can't stop herself from doing so, even when she tries) is dealing with severe depression due to losing her career for the sake of a family who mistreats, bashes & takes advantage of her. Said s/o barely eats or takes care of herself now. Thanks.

Love yourself, babe. You’re worth the world!(´；ω；`)

Charles Grey 

Charles, as with most things in life, take this seemingly nonchalant. It’s not that he doesn’t care, but he doesn’t see why he should be as sad as you for being depressed. He understands that these things happen, and although he may not fully understand the feelings involved, he finds that the best support he can give is his honest self. 

And his honest self is a nonchalant, energetic person. Yes, he’ll listen to your troubles. Then he’ll offer to take you out somewhere fun, it doesn’t have to be a crowded area, so long as you’re out and about. Staying locked up isn’t going to help. 

He’ll help you list all the ways you can obtain your career once more, or even a better one, and have a chat with said family member. Don’t let his outward appearance fool you, he is not taking this lightly. He hates seeing you having thinned so much and your hair, which you meticulously style everyday, so out of order. 

The reason he doesn’t fully express his concern is because he knows how you are, you worry for others, worry if you’re bothering them when you should be worrying about yourself. He doesn't want you throwing anymore negative emotions onto your chest.

At some point he’ll suggest fencing. Let out your frustrations, anger and sadness through the sword’s grace.

Ciel Phantomhive

If there’s anyone that understands your feelings it’s this boy. He isn’t one to wallow, to be in his feelings by any means, but he was once a kid held captive who went through some pretty traumatic events. He uses this to help you. Ciel won’t mention specifics but he will let you know that he understands these feelings and its okay to hurt. 

After coming back, he didn’t have time to truly embrace what happened, he had many responsibilities as Earl and Watchdog that it was impossible. Besides, most of his emotions about what was done to his family just manifests as anger. 

He doesn’t want this for you. He was able to pick up the signs quickly, the fatigue you felt, lack of motivation, lack of appetite and self care were immediate red flags. What really hit him was the lack of personality, your bubbly nature was occulted by this heavy cloud that hung over you at max capacity. 

Sebastian is immediately dismissed to prepare the both of you a heavy lunch, he wasn’t hungry himself but figured eating with you would be more helpful than staring. Once alone, he’ll let you know the changes in you he’s seen and that his ears are there for you. Losing your career is hard, but he assures you that your place of former work is missing out on a gem. You will lend your talents to another place of work that can appreciate it. 

As for this family member. . .They should be severely remorseful for what they’ve done. They’ve made you feel down and question your capabilities. You have your Independence and Ciel is not taking that away from you, but will reassure you that as long as he is around all your needs will be met.

He can’t take off from work today, there’s too much to do and he’s a workaholic, but he wants you to stay the afternoon. Read a book across from him, help him with a case or if you simply wish to do nothing in his presence that is welcomed too. He a little more affectionate that night, holding your hand while he drifts off.

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x11 Review

One in a Minyan was a truly historic episode and one of the best, if not the best, episode of the series so far. Let’s dig in!

Positives: 

Cyrus saying the word gay was such an important moment; the kind of moment that will long outlive the show itself. There’s a power in naming things and Cyrus not being allowed to use the word gay was a black mark on the show that has now been scrubbed clean. I never thought we’d see this day until Josh hinted at it last week; we’ve come so far from the days when the Mack chat kids were visibly straining to avoid saying the word gay after Cyrus came out to Buffy in 2x01. I commend Terri for getting this approved which I’m sure wasn’t easy. It will really help a lot of kids and adults to see an openly gay boy on a Disney show say that he’s gay and will hopefully open the door for more moments like this on other shows and networks

And such growth for Cyrus; he was so sad and scared when he came out to Buffy and now look at him

Stellar acting and writing all around. Josh delivered a show stopping performance and Asher did great as well. Jonathan Hurwitz should be commended for such a great script; there were some really sharp lines

Loved the dark humour in this ep. Cyrus saying they just buried Bubbe so she’s probably not coming, to the old ladies wagering on who would die next, and Cyrus telling Jonah that if he died they were set up for Shiva

And some very heart warming lines as well. It’s always nice when Andi can be involved in Cyrus’ sexuality story line as it makes it more powerful when lines on Andi Mack are being delivered by Andi Mack herself. Her telling Cyrus that it was his choice when to come out or to whom but he didn’t need to be afraid as people love and care about him was very moving.

I liked the poignancy of Cyrus regretting not telling his Bubbe. He’ll never get to tell her but he still has a life to lead and people he can tell

Andi hugging Cece and telling her that she still has her Bubbe was lovely, we don’t get to see too many moments like that between them. Loved Celia still not liking being called a grandma in any language

Jonah’s chill reaction to Cyrus coming out to him is very in character. They’ve done a wonderful job of building a deep friendship between Cyrus and Jonah that they weren’t allowed to focus on while Cyrus still had a crush on Jonah

TJ’s scene was brief but very nice, it was a sweet gesture for TJ to bring challah. Having Andi ask if that was TJ was a sly way for the show to direct more attention to his presence there. It wouldn’t shock me if we see a callback to the ‘’You came/Of course I did’’ moment towards the end of the season. I liked the subtle touch of Cyrus smoothing his shirt as he stood up to greet TJ. And interesting call back to have the same music for their scene and there was for Cyrus’ first kiss with Iris though only the most dedicated of fans will know that

It’s subtextual but I’d hope the casual audience would clue in to TJ arriving right after they discuss Cyrus’ former crush on Jonah and right before Cyrus and Andi tease Buffy about Marty not to mention the very fact that he even showed up in this Cyrus focused episode and realize that he’s Cyrus’ love interest

This marks the 3rd ep in a row where a love interest has shown up briefly at the very end of the ep: Walker, Marty, and TJ. 

As an aside it’s noteworthy that they’re flying in recurring characters for such small scenes when they didn’t really do that for S2; a sign of the shows increased budget and a side-effect of Bowie being a main and needing more screen time

I think this ep was probably the most successful at balancing the Macks and the other characters so far this season. The Cloud 10 scene was out of place but otherwise they all fit in very nicely. Bowie’s dramatic exit was funny and I think this may have been one of the eps with the least amount of Bex screen time which worked in its favour 

Celia was used perfectly, I loved the cold open with her and Andi. It really showed how much Andi and Celia have in common; they can both be brusque and can have a harshness to them that Bex and Bowie lack. 

I liked the callback to the pilot with Andi making a lamp out of Bex’s old cd’s. We know that Andi explores her art later on in the season and I wonder if we’ll see her centrepieces at the wedding

It was great seeing the focus on Jewish culture; all the small details were interesting to see and look up later. And I liked that they got the same Rabbi they used for 2x13 back, a nice little bit of continuity

I’m glad that Andi and Cyrus aren’t even pretending that Buffy isn’t interested in Marty romantically to some extent, it’s going to make the dramatic journey from here to Machel sinking in 3x17 that much easier

It was nice seeing Cyrus’ parents even if briefly. They didn’t bother bringing back the step parents which isn’t super surprising; it was great to have Cyrus come from a complex family but having 4 parents makes it way too hard for the show to give them any focus

I’m assuming Bubbe Rose was Norman’s mother since Leslie referred to her as Rose rather than as her mother

Aunt Ruthie being so hetero-normative was realistic and I’m glad they had Andi have that encounter with her rather than Cyrus

I’m glad they went with One in a Minyan as the title especially as it doubles as a touching tribute to Terri’s father it being the inscription engraved on his headstone

Looking Ahead:

I’m going to skip the negatives section for this ep; we all know the restrictions imposed on Cyrus’ story line and there will be plenty of time in the coming months to dig into the price the show paid for what got approved this episode. It’s a shame Cyrus won’t come out to his parents though it wouldn’t shock me if we get a brief mention of it in the show or in the texts towards the end of the season

We already knew from Josh showing that title page for 3x12 that they filmed on the day they also filmed at the amusement park which was in the middle of filming ep 13 but it looks like all the park scenes are for 3x12. I trust Luke’s imdb which has been very accurate so far so I’m inclined to think that him and Raquel were just at the park to hang out once the other kids were done filming

Finally the wish gets revealed; I wonder how much of the audience still remembers it by this point

If Buffy assumes that Jamber is back together then that likely means Jibby is already sunk; we’ll see what the texts mention these next couple of weeks

I don’t think Jamber is back together though I do hope we at some point get Amber apologizing for her mistreatment of Jonah 

The promo certainly makes it look like Andi knows for a specific reason that Jamber aren’t back together and if the wish is Jonah’s and it is about Beck family issues then I could see his closeness with Amber being because they are supporting each other with their family problems

Not happy to see Miranda or Morgan back. I wonder if she causes trouble by trying to plant the seeds of doubt that one of either Bex or Bowie really wants another kid or if she mentions being married and getting divorced

Peyton’s dad guest stars next ep though he had been listed for 3x13. Bex does look like she could possibly be getting cold feet and if the wedding will go awry before being brought back on track it has to happen soon

I think the set up of this ep is close to what we’ll see in the finale; lot’s of small moments with lots of characters mostly taking place in or around the Mack house

It will be very interesting to see if they let Cyrus or TJ use the word gay again or if this was a one time deal. If TJ could tell people he was gay in 3x19 it would make it much easier to get to the Tyrus confession scene in 3x21; presumably Cyrus and I’d hope his friends, would have to have some reason to believe that TJ could reciprocate his feelings 

I’ve never subscribed to the Jonah will figure out Tyrus’ feelings and play matchmaker theory because it’s wildly out of character, his obliviousness has been his most consistent trait. But I do find it noteworthy that they’ve spent all this time building up the friendship between Cyrus and Jonah and also dedicated an ep to having Jonah and TJ become friends. It would be very subversive to have Cyrus go to Jonah for romantic advice; it’s not often we see a straight guy giving his gay best friend advice on guys and it does make some sense with Jonah having had the most relationships of any of the characters. The safest and easiest route is just have Cyrus talk to Buffy about his feelings in 3x19 and there would be nothing wrong with that especially as Terri wouldn’t have had much leverage left when negotiating the final eps with Disney but it does seem like the kind of progressive move she would go for if allowed

It will be interesting if anyone else other than TJ finds out that Cyrus is gay. If Marty and Amber and Kira can never find out then that limits what can be done in the finale

And one last interesting thing is that unlike the Tyrus bash mitzvah scene their scene tonight didn’t get cut and partly that is because it involved other characters in a way that makes it much more difficult to cut or edit. I’m sure the Tyrus confession scene will be just the two of them but I do think there will be some linkage before or after to other characters to make it harder to cut should Disney have gotten cold feet (which I don’t think they will at this point)

Only 10 eps left! There’s really no other show like Andi Mack out there. It’s going to be a wild ride these finals eps

[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

LGBTQIA Historical Romance Novels for Winter, Hanukkah, Solstice, and Christmas! - Updated December 19th, 2018

Christmas Angel by Eli Easton (*Book One of The Christmas Angel series) (I thoroughly enjoyed this Georgian era romance. There is a great group of supporting characters, and this manages to delve into period-typical homophobia, without weighing down the hopeful message of the story.)

- When John Trent, a dedicated member of the new Bow Street Runners, finds an exquisite carved angel floating in the Thames, he can’t stop thinking about it. He tracks down its creator, a sad and quiet young sculptor. But neither the angel nor the sculptor is done with John just yet. The blasted angel refuses to leave him be, behaving not at all like an inanimate object should. Alec Allston is resigned to the fact that his love will ever be a river that flows out and never flows in. All he wanted to do was create a special gift so that a small part of himself could be with his unattainable and noble beloved, always. But when the gift keeps showing back up at his shop in the hands of a windblown and rugged thief-taker, Alec will need to reconsider his conviction that love is destined to remain an ethereal ideal. This book is one of seven stories which can all be read and enjoyed in any order.

On Wing of Song by Anne Barwell

- Six years after meeting British soldier Aiden Foster during the Christmas Truce of 1914, Jochen Weber still finds himself thinking about Aiden, their shared conversation about literature, and Aiden’s beautiful singing voice. A visit to London gives Jochen the opportunity to search for Aiden, but he’s shocked at what he finds. The uniform button Jochen gave him is the only thing Aiden has left of the past he’s lost. The war and its aftermath ripped everything away from him, including his family and his music. When Jochen reappears in his life, Aiden enjoys their growing friendship but knows he has nothing to offer. Not anymore.

The Prince and Her Dreamer by Kayla Bashe (Coming December 12th! A f/f retelling of The Nutcracker!!)

- Clara feels stifled by the life that's been planned out for her, and clings to her only hope that something more might be possible: a mysterious book given to her by her Uncle Drosselmeyer, that recounts the tales of the magnificent warrior woman known as the Red Prince. Decades ago, Drosselmeyer trapped the Red Prince in the form of a doll to save her from the Rats. When the magic of Clara's selfless admiration restores her to human form, she and Clara must find a way to stand against the Rats once and for all if they hope to enjoy the life they've always longed for...

Mr. Winterborne’s Christmas by Joanna Chambers (Yes, a new story for those clamoring for more Adam and Lysander.)

- Lysander Winterbourne has been living happily at Edgeley Park for the last eighteen months. By day he is Adam Freeman's estate manager, by night, his lover...but Adam never speaks of his feelings and Lysander has no idea whether their relationship is any more than a convenient arrangement for Adam. When the two men are invited to Winterbourne Abbey for a family Christmas, matters quickly come to a head. Snowed in at the Abbey with a house full of guests, Lysander has to face up to shocking revelations, long-held secrets and a choice he never expected to have to make...

Careened: Winter Solstice in Madierus by Bey Deckard (Book 3.5 of the Baal’s Heart series--pirates!)

-A Baal's Heart short, following the events in Fated: Blood and Redemption Plagued by terrible dreams, Jon begins to distance himself from Baltsaros and Tom. Perhaps a little holiday cheer is just the thing to help the three of them find common ground again.

Phin’s Christmas by Bonnie Dee

- Doubt invades a fairy-tale holiday. Excited to celebrate his first Christmas with his true love, Phin Abernathy searches for the perfect gift for Teddy, the artist who saved him from solitude (The Artist). But his happy holiday dreams are soon threatened. After a year of living on his own, then with his beloved partner, Phin has mostly banished his negative view of himself.  He and Teddy are happily saving toward a house they can share, when a chance encounter with a stranger raises Phin’s old ghosts of doubt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Struggling to quell such negative spirits, Phin focuses on volunteering at a children’s shelter. But when he sees his Teddy and handsome Justin Crump (The Medium) in a suspicious situation, it is difficult to control his racing thoughts. Belief in Teddy’s love for him wars with Phin’s fear his lover wants something more. Phin must decide how far he is willing to go to keep Teddy in his life, and truly embrace his own worth before he can ever celebrate the season.

Simon and the Christmas Spirit (Part of Victorian Holiday Hearts Boxed Set) by Summer Devon and Bonnie Dee (A fun romp of a romance, with heart, and lots of laughs.)

- Simon and the Christmas Spirit: The holiday spirit has forsaken Simon Harris. A recent reminder of the man who used then left him sends lonely Simon on a glum visit to his club where a breath of fresh air in the form of Christopher Andrews enters his stale life. Simon and Christopher enjoy a few hours of pleasure, never expecting to see each other again, but Simon’s new resolution to change may transform both men's lives.

The Holly Groweth Green by Amy Rae Durreson

- When wounded doctor Laurence Payne is stranded in the snowy English countryside on Christmas Eve, 1946, he is surprised to stumble upon Mistle Cottage and its mysterious inhabitant. Avery claims to be an Elizabethan wizard, and Laurence struggles to explain away the atmosphere of the cottage as mere coincidence and trickery. He spends a magical twelve days of Christmas celebrating with Avery, but then wakes to find his lover has vanished and the cottage has fallen to ruin overnight. Laurence’s investigations lead him to the story of an ancient fairy curse—Avery is doomed to spend only Christmas Eve to Twelfth Night in human form until he finds true love. Laurence sets out to give Avery the greatest gift of all—his heart and with it the chance to live for more than the fleeting winter weeks he’s been sentenced to.

A Christmas in Kent by Paul Alan Fahey (Part of the Lovers and Liars set, which entails espionage in WWII.)

- It's December 1941. Caroline, Cyril, Edward, and Leslie are home from their recent exploits on the Isle of Man and are now happily ensconced in their cottage in Kent. Feeling safe from the ongoing horrors of war, if only temporarily, Caroline finds herself surrounded by people she loves and who love her, so she counts her blessings and immerses herself in the spirit of the season. She trims the holiday tree with her newly wedded spouse and makes a last minute shopping trip into London. Other family members are busy, as well. Samson and Delilah -- the group’s adopted pair of shelties -- are running amok in The Peasant’s Revenge and causing the pub’s patrons no end of displeasure. Leslie and Edward have a chance encounter with a child who is separated from her parents in Germany and lives nearby with a foster family. Then there’s that something bothering Caroline that simply can’t be ignored much longer. Christmas in Kent will indeed be full of surprises.

The Christmas Wager by Jamie Fessenden

- Lord Thomas Pendleton, second son of the Duke of Branmoor, needs to discharge a debt to his friend Andrew Nash. In doing so, he must return to the family estate he fled six years earlier after refusing to marry the woman his father had chosen. To Thomas’s dismay, Branmoor Hall is no longer the joyful home he remembers from his childhood, and his four-year-old niece has no idea what Christmas is. Determined to bring some seasonal cheer back to the gloomy estate, Thomas must confront his tyrannical father, salvage a brother lost in his own misery, and attempt to fight off his father’s machinations. As Christmas Day draws near, Thomas and his friend Andrew begin to realize they are more than merely close friends… and those feelings are not only a threat to their social positions, but, in Victorian England, to their lives as well.

Summerfield’s Angel by Kim Fielding (*Book Two of The Christmas Angel series) (This one takes place between a cowboy and the son of a retail magnate, with some nice details about 1880′s NYC, and the sort of class differences we usually only see in romances that are based in London.)

- After the hard winter of 1888 ended Alby Boyle’s work as a Nebraska ranch hand, he returned to New York City in search of his long-lost family. His mother and brothers are nowhere to be found, however, and after Alby’s years of absence, Five Corners no longer feels like home. His prospects seem as dim as the nighttime alleys. When Alby pauses to admire an angel ornament in a department store window’s Christmas display, he meets Xeno Varnham-Summerfield. Wealthy, handsome, and enthusiastic, Xeno brings Alby some temporary cheer. But for Alby to achieve his dreams of love and a real home, well, that may take a bit of holiday magic.

Cursed Miracles by Meg Harding

- Two hundred years ago on Christmas Eve, William Mashinter was frozen in time, cursed by his wife to roam the world on his own, waiting for the love of his life to find him. The love of his life, whom she killed. Time hasn’t healed this wound, and William is tired of the happy holiday and the constant reminders of a love that’s been taken from him. But then the impossible happens, and maybe… maybe he can get a new Christmas perspective.Brady Gallagher has lived three different lives, always aware of the first and most important, yet unable to find the man who will fill in the missing pieces and let him know he’s not crazy. He encounters him at a work event, of all places, but is he willing to throw everything else to the wind and embrace the miracle laid out before him?A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2016 Advent Calendar "Bah Humbug."

Christopher’s Christmas by Adella J Harris

- Valet Chris MacCullan knows better than to fall in love with someone at a Christmas house party, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of fun. Even with the shy, sweet son of the housekeeper, as long as he’s careful not to do anything that will hurt the fellow later.  But as he gets to know his new friend, can he protect his own heart?

A Christmas Hex by Jordan L Hawk (A Hexworld short story)

- Roland knows he will never find love. Everyone views wolf familiars like himself as dangerous beasts, unable to rein in their savage impulses. He’s resigned himself to his fate—or so he thinks, until he meets the dashing Augustus Cao. His witch.Gus is on the trail of a gang of thieves, and Roland holds an important clue. Even though they can never bond, Roland can’t pass up the opportunity to spend a night with his witch.Can Roland conceal his secret, while helping Gus catch the thieves? Or will the handsome detective be the one to steal his heart?

Harmony by Jordan L Hawk (A Whyborne & Griffin short story set after Bloodline)

The Magician’s Angel by Jordan L Hawk (*Book Three of The Christmas Angel series)(Currently reading...)

- Vaudeville stage magician Christopher Fiend lives for the spotlight. His chance at big time stardom awaits him in Chicago, the next stop on the circuit after the little town of Twelfth Junction. Edward Smith wants nothing to do with his family's theater. Until Christopher catches his eye on opening night, then treats him to a very special performance during intermission. When a dead body turns up in the middle of Christopher’s act, suspicion immediately falls on him. If Christopher and Edward can’t work together to clear his name, Christopher won’t make it to Chicago in time. Edward knows he shouldn’t get attached to a man who will be gone in two days, but his heart—and a very special angel—have other ideas. The Christmas Angel series of holiday romances follow the travels of an angel ornament through the decades as she inspires (and sometimes nudges) lonely men to find their Happily Ever After. The Magician’s Angel is the third in series, which can be read in any order.

A Gay Fairy Tale by Christina Lee and Riley Hart (This one is set in an alternate world, where it’s always winter. Has a nice bit of hope at the end, when Merrick challenges his kingdom’s preconceptions.)

- As next in line for the Evergreen crown, Prince Merrick Davendall’s future involves ruling, marriage, and producing an heir of his own. But he’s long been tormented by desires that are far from princely. Especially when the beautiful Cassius is promoted to be his new valet, and Merrick is struck by a longing like never before—a longing to know him far beyond royal and servant. After his father’s passing, Cassius Havendale’s sole duty is to provide for his family. A promotion to serve a pampered prince is something he endures only for their sake. Surely Prince Merrick has no understanding of the true suffering of the common people, nor could he possibly understand what it’s like to desperately desire something he cannot have. Except the prince is not at all what Cassius imagined. Kind, humorous, and caring to those in need, he also shares Cassius’s affinity for the arts. In fact, Merrick understands his deepest vulnerabilities in a most remarkable way. As their affection deepens, the underlying tension between them becomes unbearable and they’re unable to ignore it any longer. But when the queen prepares a lavish ball with all the eligible ladies in the land in attendance, Merrick must fulfill his obligations to his country, and Cassius has the needs of his family to consider. They’ve long known their stolen moments would have to come to an end, but are they ready to give up one another and the idea of a happily-ever-after?

His Regelence Rake by JL Langley (Book Three of the Sci-Regency series)(I love this whole series, but this one was given a holiday theme at the end, and it makes for a lovely HEA background to the story that develops throughout re: the stables.)

- Sebastian Hastings, Viscount Wentworth, is captain of the Royal Guard by day and scandalous rake by night. To protect the royal family of Regelence from the plots of the Intergalactic Navy, Sebastian makes it his priority to personally oversee their safety. Prince Colton Townsend is done pining after the roguish viscount and focuses his attention on his second love—horses. Following his dream of owning a racehorse breeding farm distracts Colton from his heartache… until Sebastian begins shadowing him. When a good deed at a horse auction sparks public rumors, Colton just might get the man and the marriage he’s longed for. But Sebastian’s duties and secrets keep him walled off from those who would get close. To reach Sebastian, Colton takes one last risk that might break his heart….

The Forgotten Man by Ryan Loveless

- In 1932, after Captain Joshua Pascal’s family loses its fortune, the Great War veteran’s sense of duty compels him to help his mother convert his childhood home into a Jewish boarding house. He’s lived openly as a homosexual among his friends, but now Joshua must pretend to be a “normal,” and hiding his nature is a lonely way of life. But in the middle of Chanukah, Joshua meets Will, a street musician with a ready smile, and wonders if he might deserve a chance at love. During the cold December nights they find comfort in each other. But the specter of the workhouse and the possibility of family and personal ruin hang over them, making their every move dangerous. Which would they rather lose: their lives as they know them... or the promise of a future together?

Last Leap of the First-Foot by Ari McKay

- Iain Donaldson and Bran MacRae have been best friends since childhood, despite Iain being part of the gentry and Bran a mere crofter's son. Iain's feelings of friendship have deepened over time, and he suspects Bran might share his inclinations—and Hogmanay may be the time to confess feelings. As the old year becomes the new, Iain keeps his promise to first-foot at the MacRae cottage, and Bran takes the opportunity to bare his heart—will it be enough to overcome the challenges to their budding relationship? A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2013 Advent Calendar package "Heartwarming".

My True Love Gave To Me by Ava March

- Alexander Norton loathes the festive season. The revelry of the ton is a reminder of Christmas four years ago, when his first love, Thomas Bennett, broke his heart and fled to New York without a word. So when he encounters Thomas at a holiday ball, Alexander is determined not to let on how much he still hurts. Thomas has returned for one reason only: Alexander. Having finally come to terms with his forbidden desires, he will do whatever he must to convince Alexander to give their love another chance. But instead of the happy, carefree man Thomas once knew, Alexander is now hard and cynical. Saddened to know he's to blame for the man's bitterness, Thomas resolves to reignite the passion he knows lies hidden behind the wall of disdain...

The Mistletoe Kiss by Ruby Moone (My favorite LGBT historical Christmas romance. An MC with a disability, and a beautiful May/December romance that evolves from friends to lovers.)

- By 1816, widowed bookseller Lawrence Fenton has spent a lonely lifetime hiding who he is. He has convinced himself his feelings for his far too young, gorgeous, but troubled assistant Christy Shaw are nothing more than pride in his protégé and concern for his plight. Christy’s life involves walking fine lines: one between his mother and his abusive stepfather, one where he must keep his needs hidden, and hardest of all, one where he must keep his feelings for his serious employer to himself. Lame since birth, Lawrence cannot imagine anyone wanting him, least of all Christy. But when Christy’s life threatens to spiral out of control, Lawrence steps in. Then Christy’s emotions spill over into a kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas. Will Lawrence be able to face the long-buried truth about himself and keep Christy by his side?

The Wrong Kind of Angel by Ruby Moone (prequel to Trapped) (Charles is a sweet bon bon. Just saying.)

- A reluctant angel, three not terribly wise men, two gorgeous men on a starlit chase to find a child … It can only be Christmas. It’s Christmas 1817 and Captain Charles Farrington has accepted that he is destined to live alone. That is, until Christmas Eve, when a startlingly handsome man crashes into his home and his life. Harry Valentine is a man on the run. A man with secrets. He hasn’t time to fall for the angel who rescued him and, in any case, he knows that once Charlie realises the truth about him, there will be no future for them. Harry’s warmth makes Charles face up to the demons in his past and shows him that he can have a family. All he has to do is persuade Harry to stay. But Charlie knows that, despite whatever Harry says, he’s the wrong kind of angel for happy endings.

The Christmas Curse by Ruby Moone (A dose of cheer and magic for a lonely man at Christmas.)

- It’s almost Christmas 1806, and government agent Jared Templeton finds himself adopted by a beautiful stray dog as he walks his customary route each night to his Mayfair home. Having never owned a dog before, Jared is surprised to find himself talking to the beast. It’s wonderfully easy and lifts some of the heavy burdens he carries. Eventually Jared confides in the dog, not only secrets about his work as an agent, but also the biggest secret about himself. About his innermost desires and needs, safe in the knowledge his companion will never betray him. But at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, Jared discovers things are not quite what they seem …

The Lion Lies Waiting by Glenn Quigley (Sequel to The Moth and Moon)

- Winter, 1780, and the solstice is fast approaching. Four months after the events of The Moth and Moon, burly fisherman Robin Shipp is preparing for his first Midwinter festival with his lover, the handsome baker Edwin Farriner. But when a letter arrives begging for help, they must travel with their friend, Duncan, to Port Knot on sinister Blackrabbit Island for a final confrontation with Edwin’s mother. Also visiting the island are Lady Eva and her wife Iris, with a stunning proposition that could change Robin and Edwin’s lives forever.The snow-covered harbour town of Port Knot is a dangerous place. While there, Robin, Edwin, and Duncan explore the menacing rooftop settlement known as the Roost, mingle with high society in the magnificent splendour of Chase Manor, and uncover a violent conspiracy threatening the island’s entire way of life.Old rivalries will flare, shocking secrets will be revealed, and as Duncan’s scandalous past finally catches up with him, will it ultimately destroy them all?The men will be tested to their limits as they discover that on Blackrabbit Island, the lion lies waiting.

A Gentleman’s Agreement by J Roman (This had one of the best endings I’ve read, very sweet, and the whole story is one of low-dose period-typical homophobia.)

- Thomas Derrik is about to have the worst Christmas of his life. Three days before the holiday, he finds out the father he doesn’t get along with is arriving on Christmas Eve, his ex-lover and new brother-in-law will be staying at his estate until the New Year, and his beloved brother, Edmund, has died. Luckily, Edmund’s last holiday scheme may well save Thomas’s Christmas: Henry Appleby, a young lord fresh from the Continent, has arranged to court Thomas. But the family tragedy and jealous exes may put an end to the romance before it begins. A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2012 Advent Calendar package "Evergreen"

Yuletide Truce by Sandra Schwab

- London, 1845 It's December, Alan "Aigee" Garmond's favorite time of the year, when the window display of the small bookshop where he works fills up with crimson Christmas books and sprays of holly. Everything could be perfect — if it weren't for handsome Christopher Foreman, the brilliant writer for the fashionable magazine About Town, who has taken an inexplicable and public dislike to Aigee's book reviews. But why would a man such as Foreman choose to target reviews published in a small bookshop's magazine? Aigee is determined to find out. And not, he tells himself, just because he finds Foreman so intriguing. Aigee’s quest leads him from smoke-filled ale-houses into the dark, dingy alleys of one of London's most notorious rookeries. And then, finally, to Foreman. Will Aigee be able to wrangle a Yuletide truce from his nemesis?

The Return of the Earl by Sandra Schwab

- On the Continent they call him the Ice Prince, icy of manner, icy of heart. Now, after thirteen years of exile, Con returns home to England and to Harrowcot Hall, a place haunted by memories of a long-lost friendship and past betrayals, a place where all of his dreams shattered and died. But the past is over and done with, and can no longer touch him -- or so Con thinks. He certainly does not expect to come face to face with Bryn Ellison again, the man whom he once loved beyond everything and who repudiated their bond in the cruelest way imaginable. As snow and frost close in on Harrowcot Hall, Con's icy demeanour starts to melt while he grapples with old hurts and newly awakened passions. Will he give in to the lure of the past against his better judgement?

Ansel of Pryor House by Hayden Thorne (Magical romance in a YA format, with a twist of gothic, and a warming message.)

- Fifteen-year-old Ansel Tunnicliffe has lived a harsh life. Abandoned by his mother and his siblings to a drunk and abusive father, Ansel knows nothing more than hunger, fear, pain, and loneliness in his short life. One evening, a wealthy stranger appears, challenges Mr. Tunnicliffe to a game of cards, and easily wins. The prize? Ansel. The terrified boy is whisked away to a remote and mysterious house, whose stern and aristocratic mistress takes Ansel in for a purpose that remains elusive to him. Little by little, however, Ansel discovers additional secrets in every magical room of Pryor House -- secrets that are somehow linked to him and Miss Peveler’s strange interest in his welfare. One of those secrets also turns out to be a young boy who haunts Ansel’s lonely hours and who may very well hold the key to Ansel’s future and the shadowy history of Pryor House.

Christmas Homecoming by LA Witt (*Book Three of The Christmas Angel series)

- August 1939. Roger Miller and Jack O’Brien have been close since childhood. By the time they realize there’s more between them than friendship, Jack is leaving their sleepy Iowa town for college. But they console themselves knowing he’ll be home for Christmas. Right? It is Christmas before they see each other again, but that Christmas comes six years and a world war later. Aged, beaten, and shaken by combat, they’re not the boys they were back then, but their feelings for each other are stronger than ever. Neither know the words to say everything they’ve carried since that peacetime summer kiss, though. Even as they stand in the same room, there’s a thousand miles between them. But maybe that’s some distance the little angel in Roger’s rucksack can cross.

A Christmas Carol by Em Woods (Dickens’ classic retelling)

-The Classics Exposed…Love at first sight is a beautiful thing, but sometimes, true love waits a lifetime to shine…and then needs a little help from the Three Ghosts of Christmas.As a young man, Ebenezer Scrooge felt the sharp pain of loss and resolved to protect his heart from all others, taking solace in his gold and silver. Years of discarding his own emotions, and those of anyone around him, has turned Scrooge cold.When deceased lover and partner Jacob Marley pays miserly Scrooge a late night visit, pride and disbelief buoy Scrooge's courage. As the fabled Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet-to-Come arrive to show Scrooge the error of his ways, they also give him brief glimpses of a love so strong it has stood the test of time.In an inspiring tale of change, a deep-seated need flares to life, leaving Scrooge without a doubt that love and family are what really matter at Christmas.Reader Advisory: This book contains gay erotic content with a leaning toward domination/submission and one scene of dubious consent.

A Calm Before The Storm (Dark Is The Night series 2.8) by Kelley York and Rowan Altwood

- James and William’s first Christmas together in their own home ought to be a cause for celebration. But when money is tight, and William is going through withdrawals in an attempt to get off of his laudanum completely, the level of holiday cheer is dismally low. James won’t give up so easily. Especially when he finds the perfect Christmas gift for William, and he’ll do whatever he must in order to get it. A Calm Before the Storm is a sweet, short story companion to the Dark is the Night series.

A Land So Wild by Alyssa Warkentin

- In 1845, the HMS Vanguard, under the command of Captain William Caulderson, departed England on a voyage of discovery to find a Northwest Passage through the perilous arctic waters separating the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. It was never heard from again.

Five years later, Captain David Maxwell of the Serapis sets sail to attempt to recover the Vanguard and determine the fate of his former commander.

Naturalist Embleton Hall is running from demons of his own. He doesn’t expect to find himself drawn to Captain Maxwell--but the two men form a bond that will become essential to their survival.

Together, they'll brave the elements on a long and harrowing voyage to discover the fate of the lost ship Vanguard. But they'll also learn that some secrets are best left frozen in ice.

*The Christmas Angel Series (info below the cut)

In 1750, a master woodcarver poured all his unrequited love, passion, and longing into his masterpiece—a gorgeous Christmas angel for his beloved’s tree. When the man he loved tossed the angel away without a second thought, a miracle happened. The angel was found by another who brought the woodcarver True Love. Since then, the angel has been passed down, sold, lost and found, but its magic remains. Read the romances inspired by (and perhaps nudged along by) the Christmas angel through the years. Whether it’s the 1880’s New York (Kim Fielding’s Summerfield’s Angel), the turn-of-the-century (Jordan L. Hawk’s Magician’s Angel), World War II (L.A. Witt’s Christmas Homecoming), Vietnam-era (N.R. Walker’s Soldier’s Wish), the 1990’s (Anyta Sunday’s Shrewd Angel), or 2018 (RJ Scott’s Christmas Prince), the Christmas angel has a way of landing on the trees of lonely men who need its blessing for a very Merry Christmas and forever HEA.

[theythemsam]

spn 13x12, liveblog, collected posts (all 24 of them) or as i like to call it: Teenage Witch Time! Also, and thats more important: Sam gets to talk about his trauma in this one. I Love.

The love spell is freaking creepy

#but the dude actor is good #also the girls are on their way to Lebanon Oh No

 As gross as the kill is witch girl Jaimie bashing the dudes brain in is kinda hot

 Ewww I don’t wanna deal with the little dick jokes about Lucifer

#i mean little dick jokes are already bad but ewwwwwww

 Lucifer is such a jerk, but Cas roasting him is so good

 Oh no Dean is magicked :/ and made to kiss her :/ YIKES

#can people stop kissing Dean without his consent

 Jensen’s acting under the love spell is so funny

#the becky callback though :/ im sad

 I love that even under a love spell Dean still roasts Sam

#asdfgh

 Aaaand Sam gets knocked out again

 “the one with the hair” asdfghj

 Rowena’s outfit is so good!

 “And that says a lot!” “You always say a lot…” asghjk CAS, sassiest angel in the garrison

#like stahp cant you see Lucifer’s wings are already charred?

 And then he just talks about how great Jack is and how Lucifer is not his dad, will never be his dad, and how much better Jack is than him and that is so sexy of him to be honest

 I love Rowena so much!!!

#especially that she gets to express the fact that yes she is scared and traumatized

 Demon, pls don’t call Cas pretty boy :/ Yike

 The Sam&Rowena Car scene is so pretty!

#also really good bc they get to talk about trauma which is just awesome!!!

 The woman is so ready to sell the girls out asdfgh

 Sam acknowledging that trauma cant just be fixed through power… I love my smart son! But also a little bit less depression please? Bc trauma is bad and changes you and it’s a lot but it can and does get better? And theres ways to heal!!!

 I hate that Sam gets immediately abandoned by Rowena just after he finally shares some of his negative trauma based emotions :/ BABY

 Cas stabbing Lucifer is so sexy

 The girls are really strong and the fight scene must have been real fun to shoot

#like they are so tiny and they just get to push those dudes around nice!!!

 Oh No, Sam is perching again. Like a real high perch this time. Sweet son!

#it makes sense though cause he does do that when hes nervous/scared/doesn’t feel safe and rn hes probably all of those

 Sam giving Rowena a page from the book is the best? And then he gets to talk about his terror with Dean… IM LOVE MY SON

 Also I love that its once more shown that while Sam is good at compartmentalizing his pain as soon as there’s no immediate thing to work on he’s spinning out of control

#BABY

 Rowena breaking free from her bonds is so good too!!! I LOVE HER!

#shes evil and all but also like HELL YEAH!

[bethsblog-languageandnewmed-blog]

My Online Communities

It’s no secret that although Facebook is the most popular social networking site with over 2.3 billion active users, and was once the must have social media site, it has kind of become synonymous with middle-aged women over-sharing, re-runs of the same old Tasty videos, and pretty much just ad-central. Though one of the longest standing social networks and clearly the front runner when it comes to longevity and popularity, the site is full of affordances and constraints, with the majority of them, constraints as many argue that Facebook is pretty outdated - but I’m here to argue the opposite. I have more recently become aware of some of the innovative ways people have adapted Facebook’s widespread “popularity” - as let’s face it, it’s hard to find anyone under the age of 50 that doesn’t have their own Facebook account. And though young people may argue that this is a huge constraint (because who wants their nosey Auntie spying on their every move?) the fact that people of all ages, from all walks of life is actually, when it comes to online communities, is a huge affordance.  

Facebook is being adapted in really innovative ways to keep up with the times and provide us with communicative tools to achieve things that were never before possible. Pretty deep? Yes. True? Absolutely. 

If you think I’m being a bit vague - I’m talking about online communities. Boyd and Ellison (2008) stated that social networking sites are “web based service[s] that allows individuals to... articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection, and view and traverse their list of connections and those made by others within the system.” As soon as I read this I was reminded that I myself, am a member of three specific “online communities” in particular, each with their own very different purposes.

These groups and the media they share are rich in content, with the ability to react to posts, use polls and of course emojis, restricting the constraint of context and allow users to communicate how they are feeling with almost no ambiguity: this in itself has affordances and constraints - because I don’t think many people would be too pleased with a “sad” or “angry” react on a personal post, or a “haha” react on a sad story - so this can bring problems, but these are in the small minority. These little “reacts” are a great tool to eliminate the constraint of contextualisation and are used in my online communities consistently. 

GIRLSMOUTH

Now girls, if you haven’t heard of this one, let me tell you, you’re missing out on some top quality entertainment. In a nutshell, Girlsmouth is a private Facebook group that is strictly girls only. At the time of writing this, the group has 171,146 members, consisting of four admins and six moderators, who monitor the comments of posts they have approved to ensure that there is no selling, promotion, or horrible comments being made. The “founder” of the group, Chloe Todd, describes the group as;

“an empowering support group for women to bring females together rather than bash each other. #girlpower 💁🏼”

The purpose of the group is for members to post for advice, gain support and build relationships with one another. All women are welcome which means that the posts come from women all over the globe, wealthy or struggling, young and old. An example of a post made today is below, within an hour already 28 people have commented offering advice, regardless of the transaction costs of the “conversation” and of over 170,000 people having the ability to see and judge them on their advice and experiences: 

On the whole, the group is very supportive and many members have actually built real life friendships as a result of coming in contact on the site. It is not uncommon for women to post their struggles - whether that be regarding their health, relationship  or financial struggles, and many will come to their aid, offering support and even in some examples, a place to stay, money to tide them over and offerings of friendship to people at their lowest points. 

After being on the group for a while, you start to recognise names and faces and become familiar with people’s stories and struggles and even become a bit invested in some of the stories - a particular stand-out story to me is a girl that has been in hospital for over 13 months now, who has been sharing her story and the challenges shes faced.

Not all the stories are inspirational and moving, and to be honest, this is what I love most about this online community. When trying to find examples of posts to add it took me over thirty minutes to find at least five acceptable ones for an academic blog: I’m talking posts that didn’t mention polls on sexual encounters, disgusting flat mates and family meltdowns and every swear word in the book. As well as these, random questions about people’s favourite foods and make-up are regular features, but that’s all part of life too and really reiterates the idea that people come to Girlsmouth looking to connect and relate to others. I can guarantee now matter how wild or weird your story or post, there will be a group of women on Girlsmouth ready to relate to you. And that’s what makes Girlsmouth so great at what it does - and a huge source of entertainment.

In summary, Girlsmouth is pretty much the best procrastination there is. But aside from that, it reminds us that whilst social media may be full of unattainable goals - whether this be in our appearance, holidays, relationships of financial situations, at the end of the day, we are all just human, and we could all do with a bit of advice and support sometimes - even if it is just about which Diet Coke tastes best (which is obviously full fat instead...)

READING WOMEN WALKING HOME

The second online community I am part of is a pretty new development, and if you live in Reading (which considering this is a university blog, is all of you) you need to join this group. With 2538 members, including University of Reading security team member Steve, this group was created with the purpose of warning other women about the strange and worrying behaviour of members of the public to ensure we can all stay safe. Unfortunately, there are multiple new posts daily, with women experiencing harassment, break-ins and burglaries on a daily basis. 

Some may argue that this group does nothing but scaremonger, possibly stating that ignorance is bliss, as they say - but I couldn’t disagree more. As women it is our duty to stand together in the face of such adversities, and in a world where we are at risk simply from walking home from a lecture in the middle of the day, no precaution is too much. This feeling of support and community is exactly what we need when facing these issues.

Thankfully, this support group is not just something that is happening at our university. The group was inspired by The Tab newspapers article on another “Women Walking Home” group chat. As well as a page for women to join, there is also a Facebook messenger group chat in which members are encouraged to message if they feel unsafe so another member can ring them on their walk home in another selfless offering of support, between women with weak and strong ties alike. Some may argue that this group isn’t entirely inclusive because it is heavily orientated towards females, but this doesn’t stop the group from being an online community, as these are defined as a tool to enable users to “ articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection” (Boyd and Ellison, 2008) as aforementioned, and typically, males don’t get approached in this way. Males are present on the group as I have mentioned, in the form of the university security team. In fact, them joining the group could be a positive step, so that they are aware of what is going on, but this could also be negative as this could allow the members of the public who are engaging in this behaviour to become aware of the location of users and thus perpetuate the problem. So, in some cases, being inclusive of both genders is not of upmost importance.

This online community and utilisation of social media is a huge affordance of Facebook and social media, showcasing an amazing and innovative way to use the sites to stay safe. It’s also a great example of the constant development of social media and how we can use these advancements in everything we do. Which begs the question, is Facebook really as outdated and boring as everyone says?

LOST AND FOUND PETS IN BRISTOL/SOUTH GLOS

Finally, a group I have been a member of for a few years now: Lost and Found Pets in Bristol/South Gloucestershire. This group really epitomises the affordances of social media for me. With 30,208 members, this group is responsible for re-uniting thousands of lost, found and stolen pets with their owners, as well as re-homing pets with no where to go. The idea behind it is simple.

Lost an animal? Found an animal? 

Simply post a picture, location or description and the tens-of-thousands of members will get to work for you.

Due to the longevity of the group, members and admin have a great relationship with one another, and its a recipe for success. Admin are aware of members and their location so that when an animal or pet goes missing or pops up in their area, someone can be on site ASAP. It really is as simple and effective as that. The admins are so invested in the page that they have been known to recognise pets that have gone missing years prior when their little furry face pops up on their feed - with one cat and owner being re-united after eight years! EIGHT! This group proves that miracles really can, and do, happen.

Never have I lost a pet (thank goodness) but the sheer thought of losing my dogs motivated me to join this group to ensure that if I ever do, I know that 30,000 people in Bristol are aware of it almost instantaneously and can assist in my search, with success. In 2015, 7000 pets were reunited with their owners from the group alone - even pets with no microchip are often re-united purely from the work of this group! If that doesn’t convince you that Facebook can be used for good, I don’t know what can. I think that it is a priceless and hugely innovative way to use social media - gone are the days of soggy “LOST” posters stapled to lamp-posts and trees and loss of reunion hope. 

In summary, These communities are characterised by their complex nesting structure but this complexity and structure is what makes these groups so diverse, and so great: the variety of connections made possible by these communities is unparalleled. The media richness and participant framework within these groups, one many times a global level, allows users to be bound together by a common interest, concern or topic and though they may have no personal relationship with other users, referred to as weak ties, this factor doesn’t restrict their capacity to offer advice or engage in conversation, with mavens: who are people with access to things that are beneficial to others, and connectors: people who act as bridges for the facilitation of these things, working together to achieve positivity, costly or not.  

These communities are the future of Facebook.

Dunbar’s number, who? We have thousands of online friends now.

Boyd, D., & Ellison, N. (2008). Social Network Sites: Definition, History, and Scholarship. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. 13, 210-230.