#its really easy to get stuck in a rut

[dromaeo-sauridae]

How did you get your foot in the door of actually starting a first draft? I've been workshopping a story for nigh on 3 years now and I'm feeling paralysed by the prospect that I'm gonna fuck it up

which like ik ik art is like that but it feels more heavy than like. A failed painting. Cus you cant set it down and come back in a day and just see what's wrong. it takes a long time to finish a book

at the risk of sounding really dumb and obvious i just fuckin wrote down whatever was in my brain the moment i felt like it. like there are a bunch of random half baked scenes that didnt lead anywhere rotting in the depths of my drafts and i honestly dont know what was different about my current wip. if youre not feeling it try a different angle, a different scene, different characters, whatever. you know how when youre drawing sometimes you sit there for like 3 hours doodling random garbage then one of them inspires you and you end up rendering and finishing it and its cool as hell? thats how i approach writing. and i mean this draft rn is super bare bones and ive gone weeks sometimes without writing anything. i really truly dont know what im doing im just throwing words at a screen

and man i know we’re all sick of hearing this but like, at some point you do have to just throw the towel in and stop editing a piece. it is true, u are your own worst critic, and like 90% of the shit i stress over is stuff that people do not fucking notice. youre probably doing way better than you think you are

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 4: hobbies and dates

a dirt biking date for @bucktommypositivityweek day four! 🏍

(Something, something, I have a lot of feelings about Buck finally having someone who trusts him to be himself, even when he's reckless and impulsive. It's an important facet of the Evan Buckley Experience. Anyway, this only sort of brushes the surface of that.)

So maybe taking Evan out on the trails had been a little self-serving…but Tommy had always been a sucker for a man straddling a dirt bike. In his experience, all men looked better with a little mud on them. It was one of those fixations that had started early, sinking its teeth into his lizard-brain like a dog and refusing to be shaken off.  

And maybe he hadn’t been prepared for just how good Evan would look, all adrenalin-flushed and wind-chafed, his curls unglued from their standard gel and plastered to his forehead with helmet-sweat. Unlike some of his previous boyfriends, Evan actually knew how to ride a motorcycle; the competence was both incredibly hot and had presented its own issues...

Road biking and dirt biking weren’t the same, but Evan’s eyes had gotten big and dish-saucer like when he’d seen the bikes hanging from the ceiling in Tommy's garage. Not long after he had been hovering over Tommy’s shoulder as Tommy had showed him maps of off road trails on his iPad, pointing out the ones he had thought looked nice.

“That one,” Evan had said, indicating a trail marked Difficult. “It’s got a great look out.”

Tommy had raised a brow. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it easy for your first time?”

Evan had snorted out a laugh in his ear. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Right, I forgot who I was talking to…” he’d teased and Evan had elbowed him playfully. “Alright, Bud Ekins, advanced it is.”

In his experience Evan Buckley wasn’t a man who needed training wheels or kid gloves; and watching him tear away on one of Tommy’s bikes onto the forest trail was just another, very literal instance of Evan revving the gas and leaving Tommy in the dust. It was thrilling on some level. It had been a long time since Tommy felt challenged in a relationship in positive ways, he hadn’t realized till meeting Evan how stuck in a rut (ha) his dating life had been for a while now. 

It was all going very smoothly until it wasn’t. It only took a split second for Evan’s bike to spin out and disappear into a ditch. Tommy swore, pulling into a sliding stop. 

“Wait! Wait, don’t move!” he called, jogging over to where Evan lay flat on his back, looking a little stunned. At least all his limbs were laying at the correct angles. 

He slid down the bank on his heels, coming to kneel at Evan’ side. “Did you land on a rock or anything?” He ripped his gloves back to feel around Evan’s neck.

“I’m fine,” he groaned as he reached for his helmet. “You wrapped me up in enough protective gear you could FedEx me cross country.”

“Well, you’re a very important package,” Tommy quipped, finally allowing Evan to sit up.

Evan rolled his eyes huffing out a laugh. He didn’t look too banged up, but Tommy still felt compelled to ask: “How does your head feel? We should go to the hospital if you think you could have a concussion.”

“Do you really want to spend the rest of our day off in the ER?” Evan challenged.

“I’d be more than happy to, if needed.”

Evan’s eyes skated down and away as he visibly swallowed. “Seriously, I’ve broken enough bones and sprained enough joints to recognize it when it happens. I’m good.”

Tommy didn’t exactly feel great about that, but he wasn’t about to force Evan to do anything he didn’t want to. He knew his body well. 

“And you’d let me know if you did?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Tommy said, giving Evan a hand pulling his bike back out of the ditch. “You think you can get yourself back? I can give you a ride and get the bike out later if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Evan said, tightening his neck guard back up. 

“We’ll go slow.”

When they made it back to the parking lot Tommy got Evan situated on the tailgate of his truck and went to forage for his first aid kit buried under other junk in the backseat footwell. 

Evan was peeling his chest protector off with a grimace when Tommy returned. “I don’t think I had enough skin showing to get any scraps, mostly what’s bruised is my ego,” Evan said, a little sheepishly as Tommy settled in between his knees. 

“Let me check for my own peace of mind.”

He helped peel the long sleeve over Evan’s head, who sat surprisingly patiently as Tommy gave him the once over. His skin was flushed and a little bruised but all together nothing too serious, and maybe Tommy lingered just a little longer than necessary, running his hands up along Evan's arms and over the broad curve of his shoulders. 

“Ah, I see, this was just an excuse to feel me up the whole time,” Evan drawled when he realized what Tommy was up to.

“You caught me,” Tommy said, slipping deeper between Evan’s legs. 

Admittedly Evan had been correct, and he’d be sore and stiff tomorrow, but no worse off. The only broken skin was a small scrape on his arm where his sleeve had rolled up, and Tommy took his time dressing it even though it wasn’t bleeding. 

“You know, Maddie used to do this for me all the time,” Evan said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over them. “I was always getting myself into some kind of predicament.”

Tommy hummed. “No wonder she's such a good nurse, she had a good patient to practice on.”

“I’m not sure she’d agree,” Evan said, his laugh edging on self-concious. 

“I think she would,” Tommy said and pressed a kiss to the bandaid for good measure. “There, as good as new.”

“Well, I still feel a little embarrassed,” Evan admitted as he hopped off the tailgate with a groan and hobbled around so he could lean himself against the side of the truck. “It's way harder to put the moves on you with a limp.”

“I wasn't aware I was being wooed,” Tommy said as he began setting up the ramp.

“You're always being wooed, trust me,” Evan drawlled, gaze skating the length of Tommy’s body as he pushed the first bike up into the bed.

Tommy paused, catching Evan’s eyes where he stood, looking down at him. He knew with Evan his life would never be boring, but instead of being intimidating, the prospect was a comforting one. He knew that he’d never have to worry about where Evan was coming from or if he wanted Tommy as badly as Tommy wanted him. Evan, who was intense and passionate and sincere, someone Tommy could get into trouble with and he knew would still be at his side when they had to dig their way back out. 

He trusted Evan to be himself: one of the strongest people Tommy knew.

 “I do,” Tommy said, with more weight in his words than he was really intending. "Trust you.

Evan’s expression turned a bit startled, then softened. “Thank you.”

[onlyyvette]

★ DAY 4 - breeding | grimlock

kinktober 2023 - masterlist.

warnings: top/dom reader + sub/bottom grimlock + cybertronian reader + heat cycles + breeding + robo tits + feral behavior + kind of dub-con since grimmy is in heat + public sex + you guys literally frag in the hallways of the ark + grimlock needs to get dicked down NOW + yes i do enjoy mechpreg sue me

a/n: Idk why but grimlock just awakens something in me; also this would most likely take place in the g1 show but i love using idw grimlock's design and character

Another day that Grimlock was stuck on this stupid planet with it's stupid rocks, and it's stupid fleshlings, and of course, stupid Decepticons. And least, but definitely not last, this cursed heat-cycle from the Slagmaker himself.

Heat-cycles weren't typically too big of a problem for most Cybertronians. They were short periods of time where mechs charge soar to unbelievable heights once every few years, usually satiable by heat-repressants or a good session of marathon sex. Usually the first option was chosen, the second method being better suited for two or more mechs in heat that are able to keep up with each other. Even when none of those options were available, it's only the first day or two that are the worst, the heat enough to make a mech pounce on someone. Still, locking yourself in a habsuite with enough energon is an easy fix. But despite how relatively easy it is to deal with a heat-cycle, Grimlock just couldn't shake his off.

Grimlock first realized his heat was was approaching when he was "sparring" with another mech. In actuality, he was just working off some steam and chose the closest poor shmuck to help him out. When he barreled into his opponent and knocked them flat onto the ground, instead of letting up, he stayed leaning into them, heavily panting as he suddenly felt dizzy and...hot. It was when Grimlock realized the he was panting and damn near about to rut against the mech he abruptly got up and excused himself. Of course, without actually saying excuse me of course.

Grimlock immediately made a beeline to the medbay. He usually enjoyed his heats when he had potential partners, but the desolate planet he was stuck just made him want to completely get rid of that extra charge. He downed all the heat suppressants that Ratchet gave him and went about his merry day before that same sensor-clogging hit him again. But he already took the suppressants! While it made no sense to him why his heat was still persisting despite the medicine was beyond him, but he was quickly beginning to forget about that train of thought when the fog started to cloud over his mind...fuck he was so horny.

Grimlock could feel his array heating up, his spike throbbing as it begged to be released from its confinements and his valve lips drooling, already puffy without even touching them. Maybe he could just release his panel really quick and just sneak a servo under his array and touch his needy valve. Just a little bit though! Just enough to get rid of this annoying charge and...

Before Grimlock even noticed it, he was fingering open his valve, forcing his blunt digits into the dripping wet heat between his thighs. "Mmhhhghh...hahhh..." Grimlock panted heavily, continuing to thrust into his valve, hitting whatever nodes he could find. He whined, thinking about how shameful it was for him to be fucking himself on his digits right in the hallway of the Ark but it was oh-so-hard for him to linger on that though because of the dizzying heat clouding his senses. The dinobot began to slide down the wall he was leaning on for support because of how weak his legs were, yet his servo never left his array.

"Haahh--Ahh! Ghh..." Grimlock's moans became more vocal as he began to reach his high. By now, Grimlock was face down, his aft in the air trembling while his digits continued to pump themselves in and out his sensitive valve. His frame was running so hot and his processor couldn't even begin to worry about how mortifying his predicament was--he just wanted someone to help him out dammit!

✦ ✦✦✦✦✦✦ ✦

You were walking down one of the many hallways in the ark after coming back from a sparring session with another bot. Your frame was aching from the bruises you got but it was a pretty decent excursion. As you were making your way to your habsuite, you caught a whiff of a sweet, tantalizing smell. Instead of making your mouth water, it made your array feel tight. For some odd, unknown reason, you decided to follow the smell, heavy pedes picking up with speed as you went.

Before you could see what was happening, you could hear the sound of rasping moans and slight squelching sounds. Who in their right mind would be self servicing out in the open like that? Despite the question filling your mind, you turned the corner and were met with one of the most beautiful images your optics had ever laid eyes on.

There was Grimlock, powerful and fearless leader of the dinobots, writhing on the floor as he shoved four of his digits into his sopping valve, aft swaying as he let out pathetic mewls and low growls. Suddenly, his EM field enveloped you, pulsing messages of want/need/please/pleasepleaseplease-- The poor mech was a mess. The moment you saw him, you could feel your spike immediately pressurize with a thunk against your spike panel. You couldn't help it! What else were you supposed to do when one of the most attractive Cybertronians you had ever met was in heat, desperate for spike.

The moment Grimlock noticed your presence, he slowed down his digits pushing into his valve and spread his legs wider, a more inviting position. When he made a low whining sound and swayed his hips again, your patient broke and your spike released itself.

As soon as your spike pressurized, Grimlock took the opportunity to lift himself off the floor swiftly and tackle you to the ground so he was sitting on top of you. Now you were no small bot, you were nearly Grimlock's size but you were so caught up in admiring your superior's frame that he caught you off balance. In all honesty, even if you did know what he was going to do, you still would have let him. "Fffrag...frag me..." The arousal was practically dripping from the dinobot's words. He rolled his hips into you, rubbing his bare valve on the underside of your spike, wordlessly begging you to fuck him and a sad attempt to stop himself from just dropping down onto your length.

You groaned as the nodes on your spike brushed against Grimlock's plush, wet valve. You still couldn't fully believe the sight before your optics. Maybe that was the reason why you felt frozen in place while the dinobot helplessly rubbed his valve raw on your spike. Surprisingly, even in his heat-addled mind, Grimlock still wanted his partner to be okay with his advances. Finally though, you lifted him up with your servos on his waist, positioning him right above your spike.

It all went too quick when Grimlock lifted up his huge, crimson thighs and lowered himself onto your thick spike. "Graahh-- HaaAH! Ah! Mnghhh!" Grimlock threw his head back and immediately began bouncing on your spike. His greedy valve clung to your spike with every miniscule movement, as if it didn't want your length to exit his valve for a moment. "Hahh, Grimlock! Fuck..." You gripped his hips even tighter and took control, thrusting into the mech's warm valve, releasing howls of pleasure from said mech. He didn't even realize it, but by now, Grimlock's chestplates parted, revealing the soft protometal hidden within. His tits were large and heavy, a beautiful matte black color to them. He wasn't producing any energon, but it's not like that was going to stop you.

You immediately latched onto one of Grimlock's nozzles with your mouth, nipping it softly. The moment you did that, Grimlock fucking whimpered, holding onto your helm and pushing his refineries into your face. As you suckled on his tit, you could finally feel his heat affecting your own thoughts. All you could think about at that moment was fucking him hard and filling him up with your transfluid, sparking him up and repeating the process all over again. You let out a small growl at the thought of breeding the mech and bit down on his nozzle hard, causing the poor mech to spit out staticky moans. "I'm gonna fill you up... fill you with-- ah!-- m-my sparklings... make sure you know they're mine." You didn't even realize hat you were speaking but Grimlock clearly did, since he reacted to your possessive words with a loud keen.

The moment you finally his his ceiling node, he keened, practically hugging your helm as he overloaded hard. You weren't done with him though. You pushed him to the ground and flipped him over onto his stomach and lifted his aft up. It wasn't easy to manhandle such a big mech, but his dizzied state from his heat made it easier. When it finally hit Grimlock that he was empty, he whined and wiggled his hips a bit but you held him in place and pushed into him once more.

"Guuhh, uuhnGGH! F-fragg, HaAHH!" Grimlock let out sinful groans as your spike kept filling him up. You really were he perfect mech for him. With every thrust, you spike rammed into his ceiling node, threatening to force open his gestation seal and fucking a sparkling into him. And he would love every fucking moment of it. With every drag of your spike against his walls, he let out howls of pleasure that you were sure everyone in the Ark could hear. But by this point, you couldn't care less; you were too busy fucking the mech under you to have any shame at the moment. All you knew was that something inside of you was screaming at you to fill the dinobot up with your spike and transfluid and make sure it stayed in there. By now, Grimlock had overloaded twice, his hazy mind unsure of exactly when his second overload had hit him, yet his charge never left his frame. Still, all he wanted was for you to already overload in him, spill your transfluid into his needy hole and make him beg for even more.

When you finally overloaded into Grimlock's hungry valve, you barely even registered it, not slowing down a beat as your transfluid flooded the mech's valve. He immediately felt your transfluid hit the edges of his tank as you filled him up over and over again. When did he even open his gestation seal again? Not like i mattered anyway, because you were still pounding his valve like your life depended on it. A distant part of his mind wished that you had a knot, mod or natural. Oh how he wished you had a fat knot to shove into his tight hole and keep you inside of him so none of your transfluid would spill...

At last, you finally slowed down a bit, pushing your spike in and out of Grimlock's valve at a much steadier pace. You could feel your transfluid and his lubricants flowing past his puffy valve lips and you truly believed that Grimlock was satisfied. He had been railed so hard he nearly saw Primus himself and was absolutely stuffed full with all your transfluid. As you eventually came to a stop and began, reluctantly, withdrawing your spike from his wet heat, Grimlock let out a low whine. "N-no...don't pull out...I want more. Please." He sounded so needy and pathetic and with the way that he kept rubbing his aft back on your crotch made you unable to reject him. If Grimlock was fully aware of his pitiful behavior, he would have wanted to snuff out your spark and anyone else who could have heard the two of you. But for now, all he he knew was that you began to push your spike into him once more and he was going to be fucked full again. Probably not for the last time.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Hero's Welcome

I am super duper unhappy with this. I just can't get it right, but if I don't post it, I'll get stuck in a rut. As always, please drop a comment below, they are loved and cherished.

This can be read as a The Way the Stars Love the Heavens one-shot or as a standalone, so you don't need to read my series to read this!!

Contains: Fluff, smut (oral sex M and F receiving, fingering, p in v).

2.2K words of pure smut.

Simon comes back after an op and you're happy to welcome him back to base.

It was the soft sound of his tac boots on the hard floors that gave Simon away. Despite how quietly he would always move, the long days of waiting for him to return to base had left you on edge and listening out for every sound that came by your door.

You didn't want to wait any longer, ladylike behaviour be damned, so when the footsteps got close enough to let you know he was right by your dorm, you yanked him into the room. He was still wearing all his tac gear, and he was already grinning when he laid eyes on you, ever the observant soldier, he must have been ready for your reaching arms the second he heard the creaking of your door. "Well hello lovely, did you miss me?"

You all but ripped his mask off his face and pressed your lips to his as your reply, and Simon smiled against your lips as you started to pull his vest off. Your fingers moved haphazardly, and he grabbed one shoulder strap as it fell from his chest. With the vest discarded, you started on the various weapons strapped to his body, finally needing to break away from his lips and look as the task grew.

"You need a hand?" He watched you remove the knife from his hip, your fingers unfocused and rushed, and you nodded as he unbuckled the holster from his other hip and placed it and the gun it held on the ever-growing pile. You reached towards the small of his back, gripping the wad of metal pressed against his skin and pulled it free from the tiny pouch protecting his body.

You laughed when it came into view, and Simon's easy grin had your heart fluttering. "What the hell do you need a trench knife for? The world wars ended a long time ago, dearest."

"The knuckles detach, you know, in case the knife gets stuck." He took it from you and separated the pieces. "See?"

You shook your head and sighed. "Alright then."

You dropped down to your knees to remove his shoes, and he smiled down at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm really getting to gold star treatment, aren't I love?"

"Of course." The knife on his left ankle went first, then the gun on his right and you made your way back up his body to take off his belt. He stopped you, wrapping his hand gently around your wrists before placing your hand on his shoulders and leaning down to kiss you. You felt him grip the edge of your shirt and you lifted your arms as he pulled it over your head.

"Fuck you're so fucking beautiful. I'm the luckiest man on Earth." His lips found your neck, and the added roughness of his beard from being in the field for a week without shaving had you taking in a sharp breath as the texture sent shivers down your spine.

His shirt went next, and he took two steps back to accommodate the height you didn't have so you could pull it off his body. You fought back a giggle, and he brushed his fingers over the apple of your cheek as he looked at you fondly. "What it is love."

"I was hoping I'd find a razor blade taped somewhere." The look on his face told you all you needed to know, and your suspicions were confirmed when he started to undo his belt with a smile. You helped him, pushing his camo pants off his hips and down to a pile on the floor. He had something long and impossibly thing strapped to his thigh, and your eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as you went to undo the strap.

"It's a KGB concealed blade, you know, in case of a pat down." Nevertheless, it joined its brothers and sisters on the pile on your table, and Simon thanked you for all your hard work with another kiss as he removed your bra.

You nipped his lower lip, and one hand went from your hip to your breast so he could play with your nipple. He wasn't as gentle as he usually was, and it had you gasping through the kiss as the roughness of his battle-hardened fingers danced across your sensitive skin. You slid your hand down his body and palmed his cock, and he grunted when you rubbed him through the fabric.

You pulled away from his lips and pressed yours to his cheek, then his chin, then you dipped your head to kiss his neck, stopping briefly from sucking a mark on his throat. "I think I should show you how much I missed you."

His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he used his fingertips to draw circles on your breast. "And how are you going to do that, lovely?"

You smiled and slowly dropped to your knees, pressing kisses to his chest and abs as you went. "I have some ideas."

One of his massive hands found the back of your head as you pulled his boxers down. You used the precum beading at the head to slick your way down as you stroked him, and he groaned when you tightened your hand on the upstroke. You smiled up at him before leaning in and licking him from base to tip like an ice cream, and you felt his fingers tense as he stopped himself from digging them into your hair.

You sucked the tip into your mouth, and he took in a breath as the heat of your mouth made his toes tingle. His head fell back, and his breath quickened as you took him further in, one of your hands moving from his hip to play with his balls. He moaned, his chest rumbling as his hand squeezed your shoulder rhythmically.

He started to rock his hips, a slow and steady back and forth that still let you set the pace, and you could tell by the force of the hand on your shoulder that he was holding back. You took your hand off his balls and moved it to the part of his cock that your mouth couldn't reach, and Simon grunted and a breath left his chest. "Fuckin' ell love, you're gonna kill me."

You hummed an affirmative and pulled back, using both your hands to take the place of your mouth. "Death by blow job, what a way to go."

He shook his head and huffed. "You're asking for it now." He pulled your hands off of him and lifted you up by your upper arms, manhandling you to the bed. "What makes you think it's ok to give me so much lip."

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing, and he took in your expression before ripping your trousers off, the buttons flying everywhere as you protested. "Hey, those were my favourite."

"I'll repair them for you, don't worry love." He knew he would and the vision of him sitting on the bed with a tiny sewing needle in his hand made you giggle. The sound of ripping pulled you away from your thoughts, and you looked towards his hands, there was no way he could fix your panties, he had torn them in two.

He dropped down and knelt on the floor before manhandling you again, throwing your legs over his shoulders and diving in, licking you from entrance to clit as he moaned. He went in like a man eating his last meal, and you knew you would have bruises in the morning with how hard his hand were squeezing your thighs.

With your ass off the edge, Simon had to support the weight of your legs and he took full advantage, using his massive arms to maneuver you so you couldn't move away from growing pleasure as he increased his efforts with his mouth. He dropped one of your legs but shifted to maintain control as his hand slid up your inner thigh and to your core and moved his mouth to focus solely on your clit.

"Fuck, oh fuck." The feeling of his fingers sliding inside you was wonderful, and the slow pace juxtaposed to the enthusiastic one he had taken with his mouth meant that you felt every ridge of his digits. He crooked his fingers to rub your G-spot and you arched toward his mouth as you grew closer to the edge.

You pressed a hand to your mouth to muffle your growing moans, aware that the walls could only keep so much away, and you didn't want your friends to hear how desperate you must have sounded as Simon touched you. Suddenly, everything stopped and the hand he was using to pleasure you was wrapping around your wrist to pull your hand away from your mouth. "None of that Love, I want to hear you."

"But…" You couldn't really think of a response, not when he was looking at you like he wanted to swallow you whole.

"No buts, be good for me Love and let me hear how good I make you feel." He dove right back in, and your fingers gripped the sheets as the sensations picked up exactly where they left off. You tried to muffle the whimpers, but you were rushing towards the peak like a runaway train.

Your hands found his head, and you scratched his scalp and pushed his head into you, and with one more stroke to your G-spot, your vision went white as the pleasure overtook you. The vibrations of his moans only made the feeling stronger, and he didn't seem to mind the way you were yanking his hair as the orgasm slowly faded.

He didn't stop, and you pushed his head away softly as he chuckled. "Simon, enough."

He pulled away and wiped his face with his hand before standing up with a grin. "You right there love?"

You blinked in indignation. "Am I right? What kind of question is that?"

He was smug, his handsome face twinkling with ego. "I'm just making sure."

You yanked him downwards and used the momentum to flip yourself on top of him, his hands moving to your hips as you settled on top of him. "The bed's too small to flip again, so what are you going to do now?"

He ran one hand up and down your leg while the other moved to your cheek to pull you down for a kiss, and he nipped your lower lip as the kiss deepened. He pulled back, only far enough to speak through his smirk. "Absolutely nothing."

You nodded and brought your hand from where it was resting on his chest to wrap around his cock, jacking it a few times before holding it still so you could slide down slowly. He was always just a little too much, but like this, he was overwhelming, hitting every single space you had until it felt like you were going to burst.

You took in a breath and started to rock slowly, moving your hips back and forth while Simon rubbed gentle circles on your thighs with his thumbs. "You're doing so good for me, Love." You bent at the waist and kissed him, and he ran his hands up and down your back as he started to match your pace.

The kiss turned rough, and he bent one knee to gain more leverage as he overtook the pace. You found yourself unable to straighten back up as he angled his hips to hit your G-spot, and then he was taking your hand off his heaving chest and placing it between your legs. "Touch yourself for me, Love."

You did as he asked, rubbing small circles on your clit as he gripped your hips so tight you knew you'd have bruises by the time the night was up. Simon was grunting like an animal as thrusts increased in force, and your body rocked with each one as your skin started to tingle with release once again. Your head fell into the crook of his neck, and his hands moved to the backs of your thighs for more leverage as you started to clench around him.

"Come on Love, I know you're close, I can feel it, just let go for me." You could tell by the glint in his voice that he was close behind you, and your fingers sped up on your clit as he pressed his lips to yours, swallowing your moans like a man starved as you fell over the edge. His hips stuttered and he held you to him as he pulsed inside you.

With his hips still, you rested on top of his chest to catch your breath while he ran his hands over any skin he could reach. "You need anything from me Love?"

You sighed and turned your head so you could rest your ear against his chest as a steady thumb filled your ear. "No dearest." You smiled softly and rubbed his nose with yours. "Welcome back."

He grinned and kissed you, it was full of love and affection, and your heart swelled as he held your face while his lips moved against yours. He pulled back with one last peck and put his forehead on yours with a sigh. "It's good to be back. I love you y/n."

You mirrored his sigh, enjoying the intimate contact as you grew sleepy. "I love you too Simon."

Fin

@chaos-4baby @shuttlelauncher81 @carma-fanficaddict

[vere-licious]

Would they be an Alpha, Beta or Omega?

Some thoughts by yours truly (dont take this seriously pls)

Ais - Alpha

◇ LOOK ME IN MY EYES AND TELL ME THIS MAN ISNT AN ALPHA

He is the epitome of an alpha

He is THE alpha

He is cocky cause he smells good ouh he knows he is the shit and thats why Leander wants him dead

◇ Doesn't use scent blockers like many monsters and also does not care enough to do so. Im not good at describing scents but just imagine the scent of the beach in the best way. Its warm and sunny and you just finished swimming and you smell your skin and you just get it (when Ocudeus takes over he smells like a stinking beach, fishy, ppl living by the beach if you know you know)

◇ His scent is pleasant and not overwhelming so at all so unlike other Alphas (Ahem Leander) so he would be very popular if it werent for that stellar reputation of his!

◇ He is a very territorial alpha despite his easy going attitude and so you are not leaving his presence without drowning in his scent. Thems the rules. He fully nuzzles your throat, wrists or whatever he can reach.

God help with any other tries to push their scent on you. They dead now.

◇ Was rut buddies with Vere, his rut is a mess to say the least. Lasts too long, his stamina is never ending and he will milk his partner dry. Basically consider yourself booked for the next week and more cause you are not being let outside when you two are together 🫡🫡

Leander - Do i even need to say it...ALPHA DUH

♤ He is the epitome of the charming alpha stereotype that makes the betas and omegas swoon

♤ Sweet and rich and oh so gentlemanly so polite and a charmer woow. Alphas hide your mates when he goes out!!!

♤ He smells like whatever alphas stereotypically smell, what ao3 says yall, warm and musky with a hint of his axe cologne.

♤ Despite his charms, his scent can be a hit or miss for most cause its so strong. He comes into a room and everyone knows who just entered. A little funfact is that when you really step on his buttons his smell becomes really unpleasant, acidic and overwhelming can be two words to describe it. It makes you choke on your spit and scramble to get away from it and its fully on purpose.

♤ Does not wear scent blockers and likes to even flaunt his scent, its one of his charms he says (Whatever you say bby)

♤ If any theory about dead Leander or necromancer leander being real i want to think he would stink and would try to cover it up as much as possible. He smells like death. A walking corpse. Maybe he is one.

♤ Always has someone to spend his ruts with. He is a very wanted alpha after all

Mhin - Beta

♧ I bet if any poor soul is reading this and think that Mhin are an omega or an alpha...hear me out

♧They are the mf in the middle of it all

♧ Born a beta with a sensitive nose, every day is hell on earth for them. Stuck in the middle of it all with alphas and omegas everywhere its a miracle they have not given up to wearing a mask that covers their nose everyday. (Dont ask them about leander he was an exception)

♧ Their scent is very pleasant and sweet and so clean (great description i know). They smell like you just washed your bedsheets and now you are rolling on them kinda clean.

♧ Imagine if betas are not affected by others pheromones and are just so neutral to everything. Mhin responds to alphas trying to choke them with their unpleasant scent to assert their dominance with just a :| cause WTF ARE THEY DOING? You look constipated, unclench your neck.

♧ They maybe helped Leander with his rut once and said never again, they couldnt walk the next day

♧ Wears scent blockers cause they dont want to be detected during work

♧ Extra points that Ais scent is the most pleasant one that they have ever smelled on an alpha and that makes them BIG mad.

Vere - Omega

♡ The most expensive and bougie and cut-throating omega (very literally) you will ever meet. Dont try to pull any alpha bullshit of asserting your blah blah blah. He will straight up kill you.

♡ Beautiful, gorgeous and with a scent that can temp the devil, Vere dares not to hide his scent and simply flaunts it under everyones nose.

♡ I imagine him having a stronger scent than most of omegas with beautiful hints of amber. Its warm, its hot, its everything you imagine Vere to be.

♡ He fucking hates Lander cause he has a more sensitive nose than Mhin themselves and Leander STINKS to him.

♡ Ais on the other hand...Hmm Yeah..

♡ The oni is the only person Vere has ever spent a heat with because Vere enjoys sex yes, but heats are entire different thing. Thats when you are the most vulnerable and the fox man has it difficult to trust almost anyone. So if he spends a heat if you you are BLESSED.

♡ His nests are top tier tho, full of cozy furs and pillows and its heaven to sleep on. His favorite activity is to make them with you. Just your little face as you try so hard to rearrange the pillows and get the softest materias for him makes his heart race. Wash and feed him and take care of him during the heat and he will be yours forever.

♡ Remember that i said Vere has a sensitive nose? Yeah you gotta smell like him all the time or else someone is dying (Leander with his sticky alpha pheromones)

Kuras - ???

☆ This is where i struggled cause...Kuras is an angel right? It would be funny if he didn't have a secondary gender.

☆ Maybe this is me being boring but i think thats funnier.

☆ There is no scent around him. No scent blockers. He is just like 👁👄👁.

Because of his lack of scent he is very hard to read, scents betray underlying emotions sometimes and i think its hilarious to him when someone tries to figure him out and what he feels. Unlike Mhin who are an open book, Kuras has a perfect poker face.

☆ This also has the potential...Cause image you are having a heat or rut and he will guide you through it with soothing touches and words cause in his eyes your helplessness and how you simply give into the urges is absolutely adorable. Tsk Tsk silly little human.

☆ TOP TIER man to have in your ruts or heats. He will wash you and feed you and take care of you, make sure your nest is comfortable and all.

☆Will dutifully stay by the door each morning before he leaves for work so you can scent him. He think its cute that you are so thorough about it.

[elisedonut]

Yeah so just scrolling and seeing your post about Colin/Percy and wanting Colin to top him and suddenly my head is full of all the things I was thinking when I read your perclin fic and maybe it's because I've been reading a lot of omegaverse lately but damn, I'm still stuck on alpha Colin and omega Percy.

Because idk I just feel like it's so unlikely and hot. Like bossy omega Percy being all caring over Colin who's just a big puppy ahhhhh

so yeah still stuck on that power bottom x soft top + a/o dynamics lol

Oh no i get it completely

ive also been thinking about that alot too ksdfj

actually this is the perfect opportunity to talk about some of my thoughts

Overall I'm so with you on their dynamic being very power bottom x soft top it's very fun!

I'm really interested in the idea of the "Unlikely" in Unlikely Alpha Colin being very literal and him presenting super late like I'm talking he himself was convinced he was a beta because even nearing 20 he's never had any signs of any sort of presentation

Like my thought process here is that it would be an easy way to pull them together if Percy inadvertently triggered his first rut

Because of like a true mates type of situation thing

Like hear me out here

Post war Colin Lives obv obv

He get's invited to the Burrow or is the main photographer for some event that Percy would also be attending or something

Point is it's something that puts them near one another for at least a little while. Like I think it could arguably work if its just a quick run in but then you lose out on the fun of Percy realizing it you know?

Like for the Burrow for example Percy doesn't show up until a little while after Colin so at first everything feels fine. Normal. But then Percy is there and things are not so normal anymore and Colin's feeling steadily warmer. Something smells so sweet and he just wants to follow it. The closer he get's to Percy to worse it seems to get but it feels so nice in a way. Makes his head kinda foggy.

Like he tries to talk to him but ends up crowding him more and more because he keeps wanting the scent to be stronger and stronger. Until he's almost in Percy's lap, which Percy only really notices when Colin does actually attempt to crawl on top of him.

Because he was a bit distracted with how interested Colin seemed to be with what he had to say and was probably distracting himself from family stuff.

Colin hasn't actually presented yet. So scent wise he's still pretty light. Like he doesn't really clock as not a beta until his rut actually starts but there is something about it (and his behavior) that have warning bells ringing in Percy head regardless

but more then anything he's worried because yeah he knows the signs. He knows that in about 10 minutes things are going to go south very quick so he keeps looking at the kitchen trying to will himself to say something to get someone's attention but the longer he sits there with him the better Colin smells and it's just getting more difficult

I also like the concept of one of Percy's siblings trying to pull Colin away from him and Colin legit growling at them for their efforts. Causing Colin to snap out of it a little bit it doesn't last at all but for a split second he's just so confused.

yeah idk i think it's fun because it can have Colin being even more Puppy coded due to the inexperience he has with the situation so the emotions and feelings are even stronger even after the rut ends

So he has less experience dealing with like the jealously and territorial-ness compared to others his age.

If Percy would let him he would just sit and scent him for hours every time he saw him but Percy always makes him stop after a while

and a fun like

why is this happening moment

like is this normal? are there alot of Betas in a similar situation? where they just won't present unless they find their true mate? What Causes it? Is it like a genetics thing? A new mutation? A like switch type of sorts that just presents to be compatible with their mate when they find them?

Also it can have that whole Percy leading him and helping him get through his first few ruts kind of thing which is very nice imo

Point is, fun!

[gabessquishytum]

I only have a vague idea, but still.

Dream pisses someone off, and when he tries to change forms, he gets stuck with cat ears and a tail.

Somehow, this leads to sexy times with Hob, and Dream is extra sensitive in this form, particularly his tail; it's extremely easy to make him cum.

I just really want catboy!Dream smut for some reason.

- 🐺

I also want catboy!Dream smut. I'm not gonna deny it.

So Desire thinks it would be soooo funny to give Dream "king of cats" of the Endless some cute lil ears and a big swishy tail. So they do it.

Maybe Dream is already in a relationship in Hob so he goes to complain about the problem, and so Hob suggests a little rest and relaxation... which naturally turns into Dream sitting on Hob’s lap, having his ears gently pulled and scratched while he ruts his cock against Hob’s thigh. He alternates between purring and just making the most debauched moaning sounds Hob has ever heard.

Hob carries him off to bed and starts kissing all around his ears while playing with his tail, and Dream rolls around on his back in complete ecstasy. He's cursing Desire for what they've done to him, but he's actually having a pretty wonderful time. Hob accidentally pulls on his tail midway through the session and Dream just fuckin. Cums so hard he hits himself in the chin.

Desire is patiently waiting for Dream to come and beg them to take the cat bits away, but it doesn't happen... and when they take a peek in at Dream’s desires, they have to deal with the fact that their big brother is into it and is currently rubbing his fluffy tail against Hob’s cock. They decide that maybe it's time to just leave Dream alone for a little while...

Needless to say, Hob is a big fan of Dream’s extra features. He just can't resist kissing Dream’s cute little ears. Mostly because it's a guaranteed way to make Dream rub up against him like the good little kitty he really is. And who knew that sweet little tail could make such an excellent cock ring, as long as its wrapped nice and tight around Hob’s dick...

[nnugatoryextravagance]

Maybe it's the almost-a-decade of shitty "art tutorials" and also art commentary drama I've sat through talking but this has been bothering me for a while so tumblr is getting the brunt of it, I honestly feel like it's just, really low blow and shitty to make fun of someones artstyle. Like just in general.

I am not talking about people who weaponize "its just my art style" to deflect criticism about them being obviously an asshole, and giving pointers for how someone can improve IF THEY WANT IT is still completely fine obviouely as long as its constructive of course, I just think it gets really shitty when the way someone chooses to draw is the issue itself if it literally isn't hurting anyone.

Sure, maybe I have no say in this because I don't believe in "good vs bad" art as a general rule, and because I have such a fluid art style that I can bend to my will as I please, but see thats the thing- I choose to draw like that and am working off of literally an entire lifetime of practice. Im well aware that I am an outliar and not everybody has as easy of a time doing that but thats what makes it even worse to me, because it doesn't feel good no matter which end you're on of it but its multitudes worse if you feel like you're gonna be stuck drawing "the bad way" forever. Practice always makes perfect, but putting art into the boxes of "good vs bad" literally never will, kill the snobby art critic in your brain, do whatever you want, it's not 2017 anymore deviantart rants are dead and you'll be safe I promise

Newbie artists I love you no matter how old you are, artists who are in a rut about how their art looks I love you too, artists just in general I love you keep making whatever you want and you'll enjoy your art someday if you dont right now I promise

[readingloveswounds]

Any tips on how to deal with perfectionism and imposter syndrome?

These are both things I deal with so often, and I can't say I've beaten them entirely, I've definitely found ways to cope.

As a sort of tl;dr at the start - I think overall it takes time. I have adapted and grown because I've had several years now to learn and get comfortable with what I need to know and be okay with what I won't be an expert in.

Imposter Syndrome:

Take on the persona of a Certified Trickster(tm). I know it sounds silly, but let's be real, most of imposter syndrome is your brain being silly in its own way. If I'm not meant to be here but still am, that means I've conned my way in. The perfect crime! I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me! I know this sounds exaggerated, and it definitely is, but the point of "playing along" with the idea of being a fraud (which is what plagues me a lot) is to expose to yourself how silly/unhelpful it is to get stuck in that rut. You have better things to do with your time! I am assuaging my fears about being extremely un/underqualified for any job or postdoc by going well it's not my problem, it's theirs. I won't weed myself out of the pool unless it's something I'm actually truly unqualified for, such as a set specialization that isn't mine or teaching coordinator positions.

Make a list of things you have accomplished. I have a little heading in my planner of "[Month] Accomplished" and I write down anything I'm proud of or happy with that month, usually as I do it. I think it's really easy to forget that you've been up to good things when worrying about whether or not you're an imposter, and it really helps me be aware that I'm not just messing around.

Befriend the people in your department. This may sound a bit obvious, but I could either beat myself up about not having accomplished anything when xyz person has done so much or I could hang out with that person and find out that they're a real human being, not someone up on a pedestal. Your mileage may vary because there's plenty of egos and plenty of assholes, but I do very much suggest being friends or friendly with people because it can humanize them in such a way as to make your subconscious stop using them as a cudgel against you.

Perfectionism:

Involve other people! Perfectionism traps you in your head and says that no one can see anything you do until it is perfect (which is impossible). Who exactly you involve will have to be up to your discretion for a variety of reasons, but part of why I sent parts of my chapters to my advisor on a regular basis was to make myself stop picking at small things that didn't matter, as well as to make myself allow other eyes on it even when something wasn't perfect. And it does suck sometimes when you feel you could have done better at writing something and have to send it off, but if you've seen some of my posts, I like to reframe that as making it my advisor's problem now. And usually it's not that bad, and if it is in rough shape he'll give me advice on how to make it better. Sharing my writing with people will always make me squirm, but it's a learning squirm, and if you can find people who care about your progress in a good way, it's terrifying but it helps.

The strides forward that "there's no such thing as a perfect dissertation, just a finished one" has taken me are immense. This is about a fairly specific milestone, obviously, but reframing it as not the pinnacle of my career that has to be 100% perfect but rather the start of my career that starts a conversation and that I can adapt and change and move forward with or from has really helped. It doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to say "hey, I'm out here with these thoughts" and make it as good as I can.

I hate to make this an ode to 'go touch grass,' but go out into the world and observe what other people do. THEY don't have to be perfect, and while I know the refrain of that is "but I do," participating in conferences, watching presentations, talking to other people can help you challenge that idea in yourself.

I think at some point I decided I wanted to be comfortable with public speaking, which allowed me to let me go of being perfect at it. So find ways to rephrase goals into metrics that are actually realistic.

There is also something to be said for going "No, we're not thinking about this right now" to yourself. It may not work every time, but it'll work enough of the time.

Hopefully this is helpful!

[radiation]

As a songwriter & producer i think its so easy to get deeply self conscious about your production skills. Focus so hard on any lack of knowledge and see any lack of polish as bad even if it sounds fine and even gives your music an iconic sound. You can really fall into this really deep dark hole about it and it sucks but it makes sense because not many people have or are confident in having the words to describe what they think about instrumentals and properly compliment them even if they like them. And that makes sense too because without language or a human voice or sight it's so much harder to find things to say!!

And honestly a lot of people who do know how to talk about music production are like. Legit tsundere like they're so self critical that it tinges the way they talk about other people's music and will really withhold compliments. And without a lot of external validation and a lot of lukewarm responses that are really easy to anxiously over-analyze as being negative, its so easy to get stuck in this unmotivated rut where you're convinced you have no talent and every time you like something you make theres a voice in the back of your head telling you actually don't know anything and you're the only person who thinks that and it stops you from finishing or releasing like anything. Well at least for me

And idk what the solution for this is, its easy to say "well don't thrive off of external validation" but when you're presenting something to an audience to little fanfare compared to other mediums it's kind of impossible not to internalize that a little. Especially if youre self taught and are kinda just doing stuff by instinct, there's a lot of things you may not know and have no idea you don't know. I think itd just be nice to have more people to enthusiastically talk about music production with and exchange supportive and meaningful feedback with. IDK Compliment a producer today

[breelandwalker]

Hello! How are you doing? Hope everything is fine.

I saw your post about not being a pick me witch and I felt called in. Could you recommend me podcasts, videos or books that show how to imrpove this part of the practice?

I find myself always comparing and shiting on the religion I was born in, would like to see any work that could help me through this vice.

Thank you!!

(In reference to this post. Recommendation linked below. Personal experience ahead.)

I'll be honest with you - I used to have the same problem. I made that post because I used to BE one of those witches. It took years of self-work and really examining my motivations to be able to move past my trauma and my anger enough to talk about my craft and my beliefs without leaning on the crutch of I Have Beef With The Church.

And for a long time, it WAS a crutch. I WAS going full-speed down the pagan path partly as a fuck-you to my conservative religious relatives and the faith I was raised in, and I leaned into that because the rebellion felt GOOD. Moreover, it was reinforced by some of the books I was reading and certain portions of the online witch community.

But eventually that momentum faltered and I found that once I looked past the anger and the rebellion, I really didn't properly understand what I believed or what I felt. And I noticed the same thing in a lot of the witches I was associating with at the time, who came from similar religious backgrounds and had similar issues. I also started branching out in my research and found some sources that did not rely on the assumption that witchcraft/paganism and Christianity must be diametrically opposed.

So there I was, tired of being angry, stuck in a rut, processing this new information, and wondering how to make a change. And I finally realized that I had to do it myself.

I fully realize and acknowledge that my experience is NOT everyone's experience, and that we all need different things in order to grow, and that some wounds take longer to heal than others. But I do think it's still important to be able to talk about what we believe in without the reasoning behind it being anger or hate.

I don't know of any resources that deal specifically with this issue for witches (I know they must exist, I just can't point to any specific titles), but what really helped me was quantifying my craft. I made a journaling exercise of sitting down and identifying what I knew, what I believed, what I was learning, what I wanted to learn, and what questions I wanted answered. When I found myself straying into that old anger, I was able to consciously correct the trajectory and refocus on my craft.

Dealing with the emotional side of the problem was its' own struggle, but even the exercise of separating my craft from my anger helped me to grow as a person and as a witch, and to get past the roadblocks I hadn't realized I'd put in my own path.

If you'd like to give this a try, I'd recommend it for any witch as a thought exercise, a method for tracking progress, and a way of clarifying those sometimes-nebulous ideas we have about our craft. It's also very satisfying when you think you don't know all that much, then suddenly you find you've filled pages and pages with the things you've already learned and the ideas you have.

Best of luck on this part of your journey and I hope that you find the peace and clarity you're searching for. Self-reflection and self-improvement is an ongoing process and it's not easy, but good on you for making a start. Hope this helps! 💜

[lexa-griffins]

Omega Lexa works in a sex shop and provides extra services for the customers via a glory hole. Her identity is kept secret for her protection. Alpha Clarke is one of her usual clients. Clarke accidentally knots Lexa through the glory hole so they're tied together waiting for Clarke's knot to deflate

The.... visual of them then tied together through the glory is... too much. Is porncom a genre? Because that is exactly what this is ajskdkdnd

Lexa knows Clarke, she's seen her walk around the store. She's bought a few things here and there, some she assumes are for partners and not herself but Lexa has learned to not judge a book by its cover.

She visits the glory hole a few times a month. Lexa likes her. She's easy to make cum, she's always polite with her even when she can't see her. Overall, a joy of a client and of an alpha.

Lexa has had a rough week and Clarke feels good inside of her. So fucking good. She's exactly what Lexa needed to make her forget the shitty week she had, from being yelled at by an alpha after so much as implying the dildo he was buying was for him and the beta she had to comfort as she cried about the omega she cant seem to keep as he keeps running back to his ex so she thought a funner toy could help.

Clarke is good at making her forget theres a wall between them. A literal one. She stays out most of the time and lets Lexa do her job o nstead of trying to be the big dominant alpha.

Maybe if Clarke had been more in control she would have been able to realize how close Lexa was to take her and she would have been able to pull out before. Lexa is so lost in how good the stretch feels she only realizes shestaking the knot when she's past the point of no return.

"Oh my god." Its really the only thing Lexa can say as Clarke fully enters her and groans, cumming inside of her.

Fuck doesnt quite cut it.

"I- Im stuck."

Yeah, no shit, smartest alpha on earth.

"We're stuck."

"I should have pulled out, Im sorry."

"I was the one in control, I should have realized it, its my fault."

Silence.

"Are you comfortable like that?"

No, "I guess. Its not like there much we can do anyways." She's bent over and her legs are a ldittle shaky but luckily the stall is small enough she can hold herself up.

"Im sorry."

"Youve said that already."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Lexa snorts with humor, making her body shake and a small moan to leave them both.

"How long do you usually take to go down?"

"Half an hour, one hour? Depends. My rut isnt close so it should be more on the higher end."

"Great."

"Im s-"

"Clarke if you say sorry i will punch you once i get to see your face."

"Hey i- wait how do yoh know my name?"

"Hmmm....."

"Wait, your voice.... oh my god are toh Lexa, the front desk girl?"

Lexa winces, "Hi."

Clarke's breathing seems to get slightly faster on the other side of the wall, "are you doing okay over there?"

"Yeah, yeah." A laugh.

"Whats so funny?"

"Ive had a crush on you for ages now. I had no idea it was you on that side."

"What?"

"I havent had a partner in ages. Ive been accumulating sex toys i dont even use at my house for months just to come here and see you. Oh shit that sounds really fucking creepy when i say it out loud doesnt it?"

"A little. But sweet. In a slightly creepy way."

"Oh my god this day could be going better."

"I've had worst ones this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But i doubt you eanna hear about it."

"Oh believe me I have nothing but time."

Its about forty minutes before they can get free. Lexa gasps at the amount of cum that leaves her before she sees a small towel being offered to her from the top of the stall door, the watch on the wrist a clear indication its Clarke.

"Sorry, i know its usually hm, a lot."

"Its alright. Idn another circumstances id probably be delighted its so much."

"Im gonna leave the at the counter and go. With extra of course."

"Oh, okay."

There's a throat clearing from the other side of the door, "Bye Lexa. For all its worth, there is no one else id rather be stuck like that with."

Lexa stops cleaning herself to stare at the closed door. She snorts again.

"I really need to stop sounding creepy dont I?"

"Yes. But it had its charm-"

"Im a creepy way." They say in unison before laughing.

"Bye Lexa."

"See ya Clarke."

Lexa listens for the bathroom door to close with a little hesitation.

By the time she's presentable, Clarke is gone and the store is empty. The money sits on the counter with an added 50$ for the whole mess. As Lexa collects the money she finds a paper with a phone number.

"I swear im less creepy face to face. X Clarke"

[centrally-unplanned]

I feel like making a “Top 5 Media of the Year” post is like extremely redundant if you follow me, its going to be really obvious what is on there. Still, ranking things is fun and is good to reflect on them, in particular why they ‘stuck’ with me and what makes them last as opposed to fun-at-the-time so here goes:

Perfect Tides

Definitely the most well-crafted ‘narrative’ of the year for me. As a game its eh, but you essentially ignore that and its very easy to do so. I been ruminating a lot on temporality this year; the sort of stripping-away of the idea of one having a future that ones grows to as opposed to a sequential present. The idea of ‘growth’ being more of a story we write for ourselves. And additionally I have always had a passion for stories about contingency and specificity, the ways technology, locale and circumstances shape people in not-so-obvious ways. 

Perfect Tides is never settled on one thing but those two themes permeate every part of its narrative. Mara is obsessed with changing herself, getting out of the ‘rut’ of her life, but has almost no agency in that regard. She changes, massively so, but never due to her plans coming to fruition. There are these moments where she introspects, and she is smart so it seems right, but - while never confirmed to be so explicitly - are just wrong on reflection, in the battle between her identity & and her outside reality, reality proves stronger.

And the ways she tries to fight against her circumstances are so adorably 2000′s. Writing on fanfic webforums, ‘dating’ someone via IM (and it falling apart from it being transposed outside of that medium), living on an outskirt suburbia island to the metropole of the rest of your social circle, there is so much in there. In the end the bildungsroman story of a teen growing up is dime a dozen, these stories can’t survive on the universality. Perfect Tides marries the universality to a specificity that changes it enough to make it new.

Bocchi the Rock

I have said a lot about Bocchi and why it works so I won’t repeat myself on that front. Instead to situate its lasting impact on me I think I can instead focus on the kind of anime I have been watching. I have picked up a lot (by no means all) of the older ‘classics’ over the past 5 or so years, and I was absolutely soul-sniped by the 90′s ~mindfuck~ era of anime. I am always secretly hunting for more of that, but you really aren’t going to find any of that in modern shows; Sonny Boy is the closest I have seen and its a forced comparion for sure (still a great show, would recommend). The Evangelion era is so over not even an Evangelion remake could recapture it.

The modern era instead has other strengths that you need to see on its own terms - new themes, new styles, new approaches. Slice of life is one of them, K-On! was the first ‘great’ entry into the genre that utilizes the modern lexicon, and there have been more and more hits along that front over time. Anime - and the people who watch it - has a more comfortable relationship with its otaku identity, replacing existential dilemma with celebratory depiction. 90′s animation experimentalism was immense but also limited by the tools of the day; modern animation technology allows an easy integration of styles and techniques that was out or reach 20 years ago. 

Bocchi for me is the crest of a wave of modern trendlines in anime’s capabilities and thematics. It perfects so much of what slice of life does while shedding its tired tropes; ruthlessly depicts a real-if-exaggerated otaku struggle but through the modern comedic, happy lens; and puts animation-as-a-tool to work communicating those feelings in the most inventive ways posible. Hell, the design process itself is radically accessible! I follow the creative team on twitter who were live-posting production photos, scene reactions, everything you could imagine. The media mix was intense. It is, in a certain sense, the most modern anime I have seen. It crystalized its own ‘genre’ that I want to see more of.

Sing Yesterday For Me

This year was a big year for manga for me, a journey I am hoping to deepen going forward. Sing Yesterday For Me was on my list for a while due to the anime adaptation from 2020, which I...hated? But due to all the really polished balls it kept dropping, I could see the potential, moody characters struggling with love & life in period-piece 2000′s Tokyo, lots of my boxes checked there.

The manga drops many of these same balls (less for sure), this is not a ‘great’ work. Instead why it has stuck with me is that is a showcase in the strengths of aesthetics & realism. Kei Toume’s art is just so absolutely my jam; the way she draws eyes with enhanced roundness and detail; the way the hair is all messy textures and sharp lines; the fact that in the middle of this serious manga will be splash images of little fashion showcases or photobooth printouts or something. She does this in all of her works too, she has types - I have been reading two of her other manga, Rocky Princess and Karakida-ke no Koshogurashi, and her aesthetic archetypes absolutely show up again in both. 

I enjoyed Sing Yesterday for Me’s story but what I remember most are these individual panels that are just Art to me, and its something that manga does on its own terms that I have been growing to appreciate more and more as I read more and more (Chainsaw Man stands out in this regard as well). Its a reason to read manga specifically as its own genre. Maybe the story won’t be amazing, but it can be in service of those panels, a necessary component to making them shine, and its worth it for that.

Astrophyics - Hope Left Me+

Astroyphics is a synthwave/darkwave composer who got their start doing remixes, lots of anime & 80′s stuff, which all rocks and I highly recommend. This is the year they started branching out into their own original compositions in a way that I think succeeded - it was a rougher journey, some of their early works lack life, but the later stuff - Hope Left Me, Cute Tragedies - are some of my favourite of the genre in how they blend being ‘noisescape’ with having melodic elements or motiffs that still stand out.

And they are a media mix pioneer in how much work they put into video elements for the songs, album covers, and other things - Hope Left Me has a visual novel it is attached to! Which you can play as a standalone game (this worked ~fine) or partly experience as a visual album for listening to the music (which is amazing). I love that someone who started out making Serial Experiments Lain covers is working so well in the medium of “music as its permitted to be by the internet”. Its something I want more and more over time, music that exists beyond the notes and instead is in conversation with the rest of the media apparatus it is so inexorably embedded in, and Astrophysics owns that reality. They are 50% of the reason I am a Hatsune Miku stan nowadays (first t-shirt recently acquired!) - the other 50% of the reason being...

Hazel - Why Did We Like Elfen Lied? 

Hazel’s Why Did We Like Elfen Lied? lives rent-free in my mind. Its the perfect question for me, not about ‘anime as anime’ but ‘anime as societal product’, about how watchers viewed it, cared about it, repackaged it, communicated it, the works. “What does this piece of media being loved say about those who love it” is the root question over which every other media discussion I ever have rests, the Unified Field Theorem of media analysis. And Elfen Lied is the *perfect* target for this question - it fucking sucks! It is an awful show, and in Japan no one cared. But in 2004 everyone in the west loved it. It was a show begging for an explanation.

Hazel nails it, and she does so through her subjectivity. She was the patient zero for the Elfen Lied experience as an emo goth edgy teen girl for its release; the way she jumps back and forth between the anime’s actual content, the way what it offered was passed around anime & goth subcultures, and the wider concerns those communities had in 2000′s America, is completely realized due to its combination of analysis and autobiography. And Hazel excels as a filmmaker along this same lens - her editing style is a tower of niche references to iconography, media, and music from the era, she composes her own songs which she uses for key moments, its a “by kids for kids  by scene nerds for scene nerds” approach that epotimizes the strength of YouTube as a medium.

Hazel will not continue to be my favourite YouTuber - I will absolutely still be a fan, but she has her own questions she cares about that don’t align with mine, and the way she is evolving as a creator is not my own path. She has many other good videos and I highly recommend looking through all her works. But Why Did We Like Elfen Lied will last beyond that for me as an influence of the kind of thing I myself want to make (and probably never will, oh well!).

[mushiemellows]

Okay SO I've been thinking a ton lately about the post-monoculture american franchise vacuum and how american art is in this really weird stage. It's happening in all levels, too, like I left working in contemporary art spaces last year because they're struggling to figure out how to present american identity in an outward facing way (rn big name contemporary art spaces are still very much stuck in that 2010s neoliberal palatable acceptability politics rut and they refuse to get interesting with it anyways).

So like, a few different things are coinciding with the way american mainstream media is structured that make it so right now, we are producing literally nothing on a mass cultural level. In some ways, I think that this is a good thing, america needs to step the FUCK back and reanalyze QUITE a lot of things. But regardless, culture is a byproduct of existence and therefore will be created regardless. There's two sides of mass scale art production, internal propaganda (art made by and for the people of the same culture) and external propaganda (art designed to advertise/project the image of/signify/idealize etc for those who are of a different culture). The way art production in america woks (namely: film, tv, AAA video games, a particular caliber of pop record label music) has been so stratified under the creator class of capitalism that the blood flow of culture is being cut off. The way global exporting also works, the mass marketability of a thing outweighs its cultral connections (think like, what's going on with Disney/Pixar movies atm).

It's easy to associate propaganda, particularly internal propaganda, as having strictly a nationalistic context, but keep in mind that I'm using a much broader definition. All art is propaganda because all produced art is an artist trying to establish or normalize a particular worldview. And I am two minds about this (as one should be when engaging with ALL art) but it boils down to like, for example, Captain America TWS. I can both like that film as a film, enjoy the ideas that it plays with, AND maintain a critical eye about how a nationalized protagonist icon is being fed to me (a post-modern aryan buff super hero symbol of america is still an aryan buff super hero symbol at the end of the day. The russians are still the bad guys. the black man still plays support. the tropes are still old. I'm getting off topic)

Anyways, so in terms of how america makes art right now, I think the three things we make quite effectively are youtube videos, indie music, and steam games that go for $15 and under. Everything else is a fucking headless chicken because shareholders and those with the MEANS to make art are only motivated by the PROFIT of making art, and therefore generally do not fund things that feel culturally resonant. But at the same time, America in the 20th century made A LOT of it's money in global art export, so there's this sense of like, lost glory almost. Like the profits are still being made or whatever so this shit's still getting produced but like. I feel more culturally connected to Stardew Valley than I do to the Rise of Skywalker does that make ANY SENSE?!

This is only getting worse because in america, the production of essentially everything gets shifted into in import. We don't make many things (except fucking WEAPONS jfc), we don't grow as many crops as we once did (the majority of crops I believe are for feeding livestock, and the only reason we don't import meat is because it would go bad lol) and the big shift of the last 25 years has been to start importing essentially all of our art (hey! I'm posting this on my blog devoted to the biggest global export comic in the world! What a coincidence!).

This process has only been amplified by the writers/actors strike. We still havent felt the effects of it because of how the pipeline works, that'll catch up in about 6-10 months from now. Last time we played this game, the void was filled by low budget trashy reality tv, but they can't really play that card a second time in a row so it looks like the next move is eastern imported media (kdramas and shounen manga tbh) (Netflix isn't investing their whole pussy into one piece because they think Luffy's brand of leftism is cool, they're doing it because infinite tv generating box prints money) (one of the reasons i like studying this fucking show and fandom is that it has so much potential to be bastardized by ai and bullshit and then the people keep putting the heart back into it and I just think that's neat, but it still is valid to criticize the infinite money printing box is what I'm saying)

There's this really fascinating void that is being filled by export because the means of art production under capitalism prioritize what's cheap over how communities have naturally created culture over the years. I moved 3,000 miles a few years ago and I ate at the same restaurants and bought the same groceries and watch the same movies at the same amc's. If we were living just like 150 years ago that would not be the case, that big of a distance should take you to a culture wildly different from your own in most other contexts (or like. Europe.)

What I'm saying is that I don't want a new face of propaganda, I don't want art assigned to me. I want to live in community and make shit with my hands and i want that to be enough.

Anyways, in summation, Franky's one of the best post-modern caricature the american man ever penned to paper because he processes the external projected propaganda while also acknowledging that the real fun shit that is kinda commendable is when we're dirty angry kinky fuckin rock and roll queers and true freedom comes from relinquishing positions of power in this essay I will...

[elfwreck]

It’s so awful how bullying has come back in fashion especially on the internet and with young people like I can remember when I was being bullied growing up just for being in fandom or caring too much or being weird or whatever and for one second we thought that was over and now I have friends even just a year younger than me bullying entire groups of people like furries or older people in fandom or whatever and when I ask for an explanation they just go “oh it’s because some members of (1/2)

(2/2) the community are cringe or weird or creepy or whatever” and it’s like when did this become an excuse when did we regress so far in our society that it becomes okay to treat people like this and I went off social media maybe six months ago or something and I return every now and again just to check up on friends and I have no idea how I was ever on there people are just so mean anyways sorry this is just me rambling but yeah

Bullying has, unfortunately, always been in fashion. Harassing people who are different has always been a mainstream activity. What's come back is that it's easy - and the internet has become a "mainstream" place, instead of being mostly managed by outcasts who had sympathy for other outcasts.

Social platform providers have given up on preventing it - and often decided to penalize the targets if they complain.

It's an easy rut to get stuck in - there's something very validating about saying "X is fucked-up" and hearing a chorus of replies saying "yeah, it sure is!" And it can be hard to notice that the entire community is built around that dynamic, that they have no foundation of support or mutual appreciation or creative exchange; it's all just "sharing" memes about who they hate most right now.

It's a high-energy ride... until you find yourself sympathizing with one of the targets. Or until you realize you might be one of the targets, if anyone knew you well.

In communities that try to get away from that, they can wind up leaning too far into the "everyone be nice" goal and forbid criticism of anything, even the things that really are problems.

Sometimes they have a short list: It's okay to criticize people with some list of specific traits. But that winds up in the same place, eventually... because there is no list of traits or specific actions that make people Irredeemably Evil Forever, and eventually, someone notices that the "friendly" community is not morally superior to the hatefest; it just has fewer acceptable targets.

…I get along better with the "toxic hatefest" communities than the "we will be NICE TO EVERYONE except for THOSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE" communities. I've seen toxic hatefest communities get bored and start having serious discussions; I've never seen one of the others grow more benevolent over time.

"Each of us from the moment of his or her birth exists in an environment in which it is easy to do evil and hard to do good.... If I know somebody very well, in ten minutes, if I set my mind to it, I could perhaps say to them things so cruel, so destructive, that they would never forget them for the rest of their life. But could I in ten minutes say things so beautiful, so creative, that they would never forget them?"

[Bishop Kallistos Ware, in "Image and Likeness: An Interview with Bishop Kallistos Ware," ParaboaT, Spring 1985, pp. 62-71; on pp. 66-67.]

A community can't hate its way into being supportive and compassionate to the people who deserve care.

[monzkay8]

Manifesting Your Dreams at Lightning Speed: The Incredible Benefits of the 20-Word Script on Your DNA

20-Word Script on Your DNA

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a rut? You work hard, but you never seem to make any progress towards your dreams. Maybe you've tried visualization, positive affirmations, or other manifestation techniques, but nothing seems to work. The truth is, manifesting your dreams is a complex process that requires aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your true desires. But what if there was a tool that could help you manifest your dreams at lightning speed? That's where the 20-Word Script comes in.

Understanding the 20-Word Script and Its Connection to DNA

The 20-Word Script is a simple but powerful tool that can help you manifest your desires by tapping into the energy of the universe. It involves writing a short statement that encapsulates your true desires in 20 words or less. This statement should be affirmative, present tense, and focused on what you want, rather than what you don't want.

But what does DNA have to do with manifestation? According to recent research, DNA is not just a static blueprint for our genetic makeup - it is also a dynamic and responsive system that can be influenced by our thoughts, emotions, and environment. In other words, our DNA is not fixed, but is constantly adapting and responding to our internal and external stimuli.

The Science Behind Manifestation and DNA Activation

The science of manifestation is based on the principle of quantum physics, which states that everything in the universe is made up of energy and vibrations. Our thoughts and emotions also emit vibrations that can attract similar vibrations from the universe. When we focus our thoughts and emotions on what we truly desire, we can align ourselves with the energy of the universe and manifest our dreams.

But how does this relate to DNA activation? Our DNA contains all the information necessary for our physical and emotional development, as well as our spiritual evolution. When we engage in practices that activate our DNA, such as meditation, visualization, or energy work, we can unlock our innate potential and access higher states of consciousness.

How the 20-Word Script Can Help You Manifest Your Dreams Faster

The 20-Word Script is a powerful tool for manifesting your dreams because it helps you focus your thoughts and emotions on what you truly desire. By writing a short statement that encapsulates your true desires, you can program your DNA to align with the energy of the universe and attract the people, resources, and opportunities necessary to make your dreams a reality.

The beauty of the 20-Word Script is its simplicity. It doesn't require any special skills or equipment - all you need is a pen and paper. You can write your 20-Word Script in a journal, on a sticky note, or on your phone. The important thing is to write it down and read it aloud at least once a day, preferably in the morning or before bed.

The Benefits of Using the 20-Word Script in Your Daily Life

The benefits of using the 20-Word Script in your daily life are numerous. Here are just a few:

Clarity: Writing your 20-Word Script can help you clarify your true desires and focus your energy on what you really want.

Motivation: Reading your 20-Word Script every day can help you stay motivated and inspired to take action towards your dreams.

Positive Energy: By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don't want, you can attract positive energy and vibrations from the universe.

Alignment: The 20-Word Script can help you align your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your true desires, creating a powerful synergy that can accelerate your manifestation process.

How to Create Your Own 20-Word Script

Creating your own 20-Word Script is easy. Here's a step-by-step guide:

Get clear on what you truly desire. What do you want to manifest in your life? Be specific and focus on what you truly want, rather than what you don't want.

Write your 20-Word Script. Keep it affirmative, present tense, and focused on what you want. Here are a few examples:

"I am living my dream life with ease and joy."

"I am attracting abundance in all areas of my life."

"I am in a loving and fulfilling relationship with my soulmate."

Read your 20-Word Script aloud at least once a day. Visualize yourself already living your dream life and feel the emotions of joy, gratitude, and fulfillment.

Tips for Using the 20-Word Script Effectively

To get the most out of the 20-Word Script, here are a few tips:

Be consistent: Read your 20-Word Script aloud at least once a day, preferably in the morning or before bed.

Be present: When you read your 20-Word Script, focus your attention on the present moment and feel the emotions of already having manifested your desires.

Be creative: Experiment with different ways of using the 20-Word Script, such as writing it on a vision board, recording yourself reading it aloud, or incorporating it into your meditation practice.

Success Stories from People Who Have Used the 20-Word Script

The 20-Word Script has helped countless people manifest their dreams in all areas of life, from career and finances to relationships and health. Here are a few success stories:

"I started using the 20-Word Script to manifest a new job, and within two weeks I received an offer for my dream job with a higher salary than I expected." - Sarah, 32

"I used the 20-Word Script to manifest a trip to Bali, and within a month I received an unexpected bonus at work that covered the entire cost of the trip." - James, 28

"I wrote a 20-Word Script for my ideal partner, and within six months I met my soulmate and we're now happily married." - Emily, 35

Additional Tools to Enhance Manifestation and DNA Activation

While the 20-Word Script is a powerful tool for manifesting your dreams, there are other practices that can enhance your manifestation and DNA activation process. Here are a few:

Meditation: Meditation is a powerful tool for calming the mind, reducing stress, and accessing higher states of consciousness.

Visualization: Visualization involves creating mental images of your desired outcomes, and can help you align your thoughts and emotions with your true desires.

Energy work: Energy work, such as Reiki or acupuncture, can help activate your DNA and balance your energy centers.

Conclusion: Embracing the Power of the 20-Word Script to Manifest Your Dreams at Lightning Speed

Manifesting your dreams is not just a wishful thinking - it's a powerful process that requires aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your true desires. The 20-Word Script is a simple but powerful tool that can help you manifest your dreams at lightning speed, by tapping into the energy of the universe and aligning your DNA with your true desires. By writing your own 20-Word Script and using it consistently, you can unlock your innate potential and create the life you truly desire. So, what are you waiting for? Start writing your 20-Word Script today and watch your dreams come true.

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