#its probably funny for her to go from my older sister who had an angsty teen phase to end all angsty teen phases | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mediocre-writerr · 4 years ago

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unbreakable [jennifer jareau]

jennifer jareau x reader, emily prentiss x sister!reader

requested: i love your works sm, could i request a criminal minds one where the reader is emily’s little sister and jj’s girlfriend and she gets injured and she calls jj to tell them her location, but her injuries kept getting worse. jj and emily try to stay calm, but are scared and when they get to her its angsty (and COMFORT)

*not my gif*

The black pickup truck flew through the red light, heading straight for you. Your blood froze in your veins. You wanted to swerve out of the way, but you couldn’t. You were frozen.

The black blur grew closer and closer with ease. You couldn’t even get into a position to save yourself, you just continued to stare as the car rammed into your driver’s side.

The amount of force causing your entire car to flip over and over and over again. Until eventually you landed in a little ditch with your car upside down.

You don’t know how you were still conscious, but you couldn’t move. Everything in your body ached.

It was a simple drive. A drive you’ve made countless times. You were going to surprise your sister and your girlfriend at the bureau with their favorite lunch. You know how much stress they’ve been under lately, but then all of a sudden you felt like you were dying in a ditch.

Luckily, with technology these days you were able to use your car to call your girlfriend. The ringing filled the echoing car as your eyes began to grow heavy.

“Hey love, you’re on speaker! What’s up?” JJ’s voice filled the car.

“Hey Y/N,” Emily’s voice said from next to her and you smiled to yourself softly.

You cleared your throat before speaking up, “I’m-I’m in a bit of a situation,”

There was silence on the other end of the phone and you could just imagine their faces right now. They probably looked at each other, each of their smiles dropping.

“What happened?” both of their voice said in unison.

You chuckled softly, “So uh funny story, I was going to surprise you guys today,” you got out as you felt your breathing start to become more ragged, “Bring you your favorite lunch, but as I was a driving a truck came out of nowhere and now I’m outside down in a ditch,”

“Okay, Y/N, where are you right now?” Emily asked and you could tell her protective older sister was showing.

You tried to remember where you were driving by, but your mind was starting to become a little fuzzy. You shrugged even though they couldn’t see you, “I’m-I’m not sure, I already got the food so I was on the way to the bureau. I can’t remember,” you admitted and you started panicking even more, “Guys, why can’t I remember?”

Reid’s voice whispered to both JJ, who was pacing the room, and Emily who was currently bitting on her fingernails, “She’s probably suffering head trauma,”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” JJ’s voice whispered soothingly into the phone, “Close your eyes and try to think,”

You closed your eyes, following the exercise the BAU did on countless occasions to help victims remember, but you came up empty, “I don’t know! I can’t! I can’t remember!” you exclaimed as your chest started heaving.

“It’s gonna be okay, can you move?” JJ asked again, “Are you able to get out of the car?”

You shook your head, “No, no I can’t move. J, what’s wrong with me?” you whimpered.

It was her turn to shake her head, “Nothing, absolutely nothing. We’re gonna have Penelope track your phone okay? And we’ll be right there to you. Hotch is gonna send an ambulance as soon as we get your location, okay?”

“You may want to hurry,” you whispered, feeling blood drip down your face, “I don’t know if it’s ketchup from your burgers or blood that’s dripping from my head,”

You reached up to feel your head and looked back at your fingers before smelling it, “No, that’s blood,”

“Baby girl,” Derek said in a stern voice to Penelope who was trying her best to get the location fast enough.

She looked at him with a nod, “I’m going as fast as I can,” With a few more types at the keyboard there was a ping, “I got it!”

They all looked at the computer screen, Hotch was already on the phone with the ambulance repeating back her location. Without hesitation, JJ and Emily ran out of the room and towards the car. Everyone else following suit.

They drove to where you were which wasn’t that far away, literally down the block. You were almost there.

The girls parked on the side of the road and noticed that no one bothered stopping to help you. The black pickup truck, nowhere to be seen, he probably drove off as soon as he was well enough to leave.

There was broken glass leading towards the ditch and they slid down it as safely as possible. Your driver’s side door was caved in so they went to the other side to drive and get to you.

“Hey Y/N?” Emily’s voice filled your ears and your ears perked up, despite your eyes threatening to give out on you any second now, “We’re here now, okay? I need you to stay strong, the paramedic is on their way,”

You smiled, “I don’t know,” was all you could get out, until you calmed your breathing down, “I don’t know if I can stay awake for that long,”

JJ’s eyes were threatening to spill the tears that were held in her eyes. Derek went over to the passenger’s side to see if he can help get you out. JJ hung out next to your driver’s side and looked at the blood trickling from your head.

“Can you stay awake for me, baby?” JJ asked and you turned your head to look at her best as possible.

You made a pouty face, “I’m really tired JJ,” you whispered, “I think I need to go to bed,”

Emily finally started breaking down, “No, we’re gonna try something, okay?” She could see you slowly nod, “Okay, it’s Christmas Eve, you’re six years old and I’m eight. We wanted so bad to stay up and see Santa put gifts under a tree and you were following asleep, but I kept waking you up. You need to keep imagining that okay?”

“Emily, I love you,” you told her as your eyes started drooping more.

She shook her head, “Hey, no. Santa’s coming soon! We need to stay awake,” she told you.

Even with Derek’s strength he couldn’t get the car door open. He slammed his hands on the car in frustration, as he looked up at Hotch, “They’re gonna be here in five minutes!”

“Hotch! We don’t have that kind of time!” Derek screamed.

JJ reached her hand through your broken window, “I love you,” you whispered to her as she rubbed your cheekbone softly.

“You can tell me that when we get you all bandaged up, okay?” she told you and you shook your head.

“I think my head needs a little more than a band-aid,” you joked which caused her to let out a breathy laugh.

Mission accomplished, you thought to yourself.

You started to close your eyes and she shook head, “Hey, stay awake, okay?”

“Can you tell me a story?” you whispered, something JJ would do whenever you were having a rough day or the two of you were being lazy on the couch.

“Will you stay awake for me if I do?” she asked and you nodded.

“I’ll try my best,”

“It’s Christmas Eve in about twelve years or so. We have two kids who are six and eight. They’re waiting for Santa to come down the chimney so they can see him. They’re telling each other that they need to stay awake,” she begins and looks at Emily who’s breaking down, crying softly in Derek’s arms.

Her voice starts to become more shaky, “And I’m shaking your arm in bed every so often whispering to you, ‘Love, you need to stay up so we can put the presents on the tree’. But you’re falling in and out of sleep, so I give you a sweet kiss and rip the blanket off of you. You groan in response as you cling onto me,”

Your eyes start to close, but JJ continues talking, “You say ‘I'm so tempted to call Rossi and tell him to buy a Santa costume just so they can go to bed already.’” you let out a breathy laugh as JJ tries her best not to cry in front of you, “You always pretend to hate the idea of staying up, but you’re secretly happy because it reminds you of how you and Emily used to be when you were young,”

“In a world where your parents were barely around and the only people you had were each other, waiting for Santa to come reminds you of her,” she finishes telling you, “You need to stay awake, okay? So we can live a life like that, please,”

The flashing of blue and red lights, along with sirens filled the void of silence. The paramedics and firemen rushing down the ditch to come and rescue you. JJ is moved out of the way and into Emily’s arms. The two of them crying together, holding each other close.

The firemen breaking the door away, letting the paramedics due their duties as they rushed you onto a gurney. Your eyes were still fluttering open and closed as you tried your best to hold onto the little life that was present in your body.

Until you couldn’t anymore.

/ / /

“Love,” JJ’s voice drew out, you fluttered your eyes open to see her staring back at you, “You fell asleep again,”

You rolled your eyes teasingly, “I’m sorry, these kids are unbreakable. It’s 4 in the morning and I need to sleep if we’re going to be hosting tomorrow. I mean we still have to finish cleaning,”

It was her turn to roll your eyes as she pressed a soft, yet sweet kiss to your lips. You smiled into it, the feeling of contentment overflowing you. But it’s gone all too soon as the cool Virginian winter air hit your body.

“No! Babe!” you whispered, groaning.

JJ was sitting up in bed as you wrapped your arms around her waist, clinging onto her like a sloth onto a tree. She let out a laugh before planting a kiss to the top of your head.

“Rossi is on speed dial, I am more than willing to call him,” you mumbled, before placing a kiss to her hip causing her to laugh more.

The two of you just stayed in that position until you couldn’t hear whispers from downstairs anymore.

You perked your head up, “Do you hear that?”

“What?”

“Exactly,” you shot out of bed as quickly, but quietly as possible. She let out a soft giggle before following suit.

The hard wood floor cold against your bare feet. You looked from the top step to see the kids finally fast asleep on the floor. JJ opened the closet door and grabbed all of their presents, lying them neatly along the tree.

You took the cookies that they made and took small bites out of it before drinking some of the milk. You went over to JJ with a cookie in your hand, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind.

“Cookie?” you whispered and she nodded gratefully before taking a bite out of it.

The two of you just swayed from side to side as you embraced the colorful lights of the Christmas tree filling the dark room and your two kids sleeping peacefully on the floor with one another.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket, shooting a text to Emily who was probably fast asleep. You and JJ got close to the two kids before taking a selfie with them, sending the picture to Emily saying:

They did it again...stayed up much later this time. I’m starting to feel bad for Mom and Dad now!

You grabbed the blanket that was on the couch and laid it over the two kids, as JJ wrote note in cursive thanking them for all the cookies. You placed a kiss to each of their heads before following JJ to bed.

The two of you getting comfortable once more in bed, finally allowing yourselves to try and get some sleep, “Aren’t you glad you stayed awake?” she whispered.

You nodded, softly, thinking back to the time where you almost died, “I’m very glad I stayed awake,” you told her, the double meaning hidden along the sentence.

But JJ knew, she always knew.

#jennifer jareau imagines #jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #jj criminal minds #jj criminal minds imagines #jj x reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds

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fandom-imagines-stories · 4 years ago

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Lost Boy

Sodapop Curtis x Reader

Words: 4305

Summary: 16 years of never belonging and you’ve finally had enough. You move in with your outcast sister in Tulsa and meet a group of boys who finally make you feel like you’re where you’re supposed to be. Inspired by the song Lost Boy by Ruth B.

Notes: Peter Pan is one of my all time favorite stories and I love this song. I thought it could bring a whimsical, yet still angsty feel to a Sodapop imagine so I hope you guys enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of abuse

Sodapop and more: HERE

There was a time, when I was alone

Nowhere to go and no place to call home

You always wanted to know what it was like to fly. To soar above the clouds, too far away to hear your parent’s screaming. Watching the world zoom by through the car window was the closest you’d ever felt to flying. You were free.

Pulling up to the little shack of a house, your sister, Beth, gave you a small smile.

“It's not much. You’ll be sleeping on the couch until we can clean out the attic.” She rambled. Beth rambled when she was nervous. “We were going to have you stay in the boys’ room, but Michael has a fever so he’s had to stay in bed-”

“Beth,” You gave her the biggest smile you could. You hadn’t smiled like that in a long time. “It’s perfect.” There was a loud racket coming from the house at the end of the block and three rowdy boys came bounding down the street.

“Hey Mrs. Austin.” One greeted as you both got out of the car. Your sister waved and he grinned. You never knew a boy could have a smile as nice as he had.

“Steve, my engine is making that sound again.” Beth said to one of the other boys.

“I’ll look at it as soon as we get back.” He said and the three took off down the street again. The one with the nice smile looked back at you and for a second you thought he might have winked.

“Who was that?” You asked, turning your attention back to your sister as she helped you unpack. You didn’t have much. Just some clothes and a couple books.

“The one I was talking to is Steve Randal. He’s been helping me keep this piece of junk rolling.” Beth patted the hood of the car. “The others are two of the Curtis boys. They live with their big brother Darryl down the block.” She pointed to the house the boys had come out of. “Nice kids.”

You watched them walk for a moment longer before taking your things inside. Your brother in law greeted you with a suffocating hug and one of your nephews wrapped around your leg.

“John.” Beth laughed, prying him off of you. John was six-years-old and Michael was four. They were two of the sweetest and silliest boys you’d ever met.

“Look at how big you’ve gotten,” You said, feeling a twinge of guilt. You hadn’t seen the boys since Michaels first birthday. You were lucky if your parents let you write Beth letters.

Beth was your age when she got pregnant with John. Your parents kicked her out of the house and told her never to come back. Her and Jack got married and moved here, to Tulsa. Two years later, she had Michael. They were happy, which was more than you could say for your parents. But you’d never have to worry about them again.

After you settled in a little, you decided to find a quiet place in the neighborhood to read. You’d lost count how many times you had read Peter Pan, but you never got tired of it. The idea of a place like Neverland got you through every fight, every tear filled night, and every cigar burn.

You walked around for a while before you found a nice spot in the big empty lot. There were a couple of logs to lean on and a spot where a fire had been. With winter break coming to its end, the January air made you shiver. You didn’t mind. You were too happy to even notice.

Just as you opened to the first page, you saw a figure approaching. He was hunched over with his hands shoved in his pockets. He didn’t even notice you until he reached where you were sitting. This must be his usual spot.

“Hey, who are you?” He spat, though it was hard to be intimidated by his quivering voice.

“My name is Y/N,” You said calmly, setting your book aside. “I just moved here.”

“Yeah, well you better beat it.” He ducked his head like he was trying to hide his face from you. “There are some real creeps around here at night and you don’t look like no greaser girl.”

“I’m usually pretty good at handling myself.” You stood, not to scare him, but to show that you weren’t scared. “What’s your name?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Well, if we’re going to be friends, I’d like to know your name.”

“Who said I wanted to be friends?”

You sighed and tucked your book under your arm.

“Suit yourself.” You walked past him, bumping his shoulder as you went.

“Wait.” He squeaked. You turned around. “What… what are you reading?” A little surprised, you lifted up the cover so he could see it.

“It’s my favorite. I’ve read it so many times, but I never get tired of it.” You beamed as he read of the gold lettering on the cover, worn from years of being very well loved. You could see his face now and you held back a gasp. His cheek was red and swollen and his lip was split. He caught you staring and quickly turned away.

“Like I said, you better get out of here.” He huffed. Without thinking, you put a hand on his shoulder.

“My dad hit me too.” You didn’t know how you knew, but you did. At first, he seemed angry and jerked his shoulder away. But his face softened and he looked at the ground.

“My name’s Johnny.”

“Now was that so hard?” You playfully nudged his arm to try and ease the tension. He even smiled a little.

“Johnny!” Another figure appeared across the lot, barreling towards you like a steam engine. You were worried that it might be his dad, but as he got closer, you saw how young he was. He looked Beth’s age, maybe younger.

“Hey Darry.” Johnny greeted, his voice still quiet.

“I thought that was you I saw slinkin 'over here.” the man crossed his arms disapprovingly. “The hell are you doin out here? You’re gonna freeze to death.” Darry saw the signs of violence on the boy’s face and sighed. “Come on home with me and I'll fix you something to eat.”

“Thanks Darry.” Johnny muttered. Darry’s stare landed on you.

“Haven’t seen you before.”

“I just moved here today.” You meant to sound tougher, but your voice came out as a squeak. Man, he was scary. After giving you a once over and figuring you weren’t trouble, his hard stared turned a little more welcoming.

“You must be Beth Austin’s kid sister.”

“Yes, sir.”

“No need for that, now.” He chuckled. “You can call me Darry, same as everybody else. Your sister told me to watch out for you.”

“She did?” You knew Beth was protective, but she didn’t have to alert the neighborhood.

“Probably wants you to stay away from us greasers.” Johnny said and Darry tousled his hair.

“You can come over for dinner too, if you want.” He offered. You would have declined, but your stomach started growling something awful. Darry motioned for you to follow him.

“That’s Darry for you.” Johnny whispered with a small smirk. “He’s got a habit of takin’ in strays.”

He came to me with the sweetest smile

Told me he wanted to talk for a while

It was kinda funny how well you fit in at a table full of boys. Darry was still fixing dinner and Johnny was talking to the youngest Curtis, Ponyboy. It only took a little convincing from Johnny for Ponyboy to get comfortable with you being there.

“Damnit, where is that boy?” Darry exclaimed, throwing down a dish towel.

“He probably got caught up talking to all those girls that come to see him.” Ponyboy said, sounding a little jealous.

“Yeah, well if he wants dinner, he better get his butt back here.”

“Who are we waiting or?” You asked Johnny in a low voice.

“Oh, they’re just goin’ on about Sodapop. He’s the middle one.”

“His name is Sodapop?” You wondered. You didn’t laugh like other girls sometimes did. You were actually curious.

“Sure is. Our dad liked unique names.” Ponyboy beamed. “And Soda’s as unique as they come.”

“That’s one word for it.” Darry laughed, shaking his head. As if he heard his name, the middle Curtis burst through the front door, an excited grin lighting up his face.

“You shoulda seen her, Darry.” He howled. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“You say that about every girl.” His older brother scoffed.

“Well this time, I mean it. And she’s just down the street!” Sodapop leaned against the fridge with a dreamy expression. Darry cleared his throat, jerking his head towards the dinner table. Ponyboy and Johnny were ready to burst from laughter. As soon as Sodapop’s eyes landed on you, he nearly fell over, his face turning a very cute shade of pink.

“You must be Sodapop.” You tried your best to hide the nervousness in your voice, not to mention the furious blush lighting up your face. You had never been called pretty before. Maybe he wasn’t talking about you. After all, he only saw you for a second.

“Yes ma’am.” He straightened himself out and smiled. Lord, that smile. “You-uh-you’re the girl I saw with Mrs. Austin.”

“What’re you calling her ‘ma’am’ for?” Johnny exclaimed. Ponyboy elbowed him in the side. “Ow! What? She’s just one of us!” You laughed at the two, but kept your eyes on Soda.

“That’s me alright. Beth’s my big sister. I’m gonna live with her now.” You said proudly.

“Where are your folks?” The youngest boy wondered.

“Ponyboy,” Darry scolded sharply. He knew that the story probably wasn’t a nice one. In this neighborhood, they never were. You didn’t seem upset by the younger boy’s question.

“They’re still in Chicago. Be glad you’ll never have to meet them.” You shrugged, your gaze returning to Sodapop. His blue eyes were bright with curiosity. He sat down across from you and Darry put down a plate of sandwiches.

It was the liveliest dinner you’d ever had. Darry and Ponyboy squabbled back and forth while Johnny scarfed down his sandwich.

“Whatcha reading?” Sodapop asked, eyeing the book you had set on the table.

“Oh, um, you’ll probably think it’s silly.” You quickly pulled the book into your lap. His lips fell into a pout.

“I promise I won’t.” His voice was so sweet that you knew he wasn’t going to make fun of you. You slid the worn down and well loved book across to him. “Peter Pan?” He read. “I remember that Disney movie when we were kids. Never thought about reading the book.”

“That’s cause you don’t read.” Ponyboy snickered. There was a thud and Ponyboy cried out, rubbing his now sore shin.

“Is it any good?” Soda asked.

“Oh it’s my favorite.” You beamed. “I guess the idea of flying away to a place where you never have to grow up was a nice thought when I was with my parents and all their yelling.”

You felt the tone of the table change. Ponyboy and Johnny looked at each other, Darry clasped his hands together on the table and Soda gave you a sympathetic smile. The grim shift made you think of home.

“Alright, enough with the long faces.” You exclaimed, leaning across to playfully shove Ponyboy’s shoulder. “That’s all over now.” You looked at each boy with the brightest smile they’d ever seen. Your gaze landed on Sodapop and his lips returned your grin. “This is Neverland.”

Smiles returned to the boys’ faces and Darry even chuckled. You and Soda just kept looking at each other.

“You clearly haven’t been in Tulsa long enough.” A new voice sneered. Everybody looked at the boy standing in the doorway. He had a hard stare and a mean look about him, but you didn’t let that scare you. You’d seen meaner.

“Anywhere is better than where I was before.” You replied calmly. The boy narrowed his eyes and looked you over.

“Is there something you need, Dally?” Darry asked sternly.

“Little bird told me there was a new girl in the neighborhood. Didn’t think she’d be slumming with us greasers already.” Dally kept his mean glare on you until Sodapop stood up.

“Come on, Y/N. Why don’t I walk you home?”

“Soda must think you need protecting.” He smirked. “I think you look like you can handle a guy like me.”

“Cut it out, Dallas.” Darry’s voice was a warning now.

“It’s alright. I should be getting back anyway to help Beth get the boys in bed.” You pushed away from the table, thanking Darry for dinner and saying goodnight to everyone. Lastly, you turned to Dally as you and Soda passed him. “It was nice meeting you, Dallas.”

You could feel his stare burning into the back of your head as you stepped out into the cool night air.

“Sorry about him.” Sodapop said, shoving his hands in the back pockets of his jeans as he walked. “Dally’s really not so bad. He’s just acting like that cause he don’t know you yet.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You shrugged. “I knew plenty of boys like that back in Chicago, only I didn’t have a tough guy like Darry or a sweet one like you to stand up to them, so Dallas is right.”

“About what?”

“I can handle guys like him.” You bumped his shoulder with yours and laughed. “I appreciate you walking with me, though. Beth would kill me if she thought I was out here by myself at night.”

“Has she always been protective like that?”

“I guess.” You thought for a moment. “When we were kids, she was always sticking up for me to our old man. She never let him lay a hand on me as long as she was around.” You found a pebble on the sidewalk and nudged it with your toe. “When she got pregnant, she didn't have a choice but leave. I think she just still sees me as that scrawny 10-year-old.”

You walked together in silence for a moment. You stopped suddenly, looking up at the sky. Stars stared back down at you with their bright faces. You liked to think they were smiling. Soda was a few steps away before he noticed that you had stopped.

“What’re you looking at?” He asked, walking back to join you. He tilted his head upward, trying to find whatever had caught your attention.

“The sky’s a lot prettier out here.” You mused. “In Chicago, it’s all lights and smog. But here, you can really see the stars.” That feeling of flying was back, taking you up into the air just like the book.

“You’re a different kinda girl, you know that?” Sodapop laughed. You spun around with your arms extended.

“You have to be different to survive, Sodapop Curtis.” When you looked at him, he could have sworn that your eyes twinkled like the stars.

I am a Lost Boy, from Neverland

Usually hanging out with Peter Pan

“They were not nearly so elegant as Peter, they could not help kicking a little, but their heads were bobbing against the ceiling and there is almost nothing so delicious as that.” You read in a clear voice so that all the boys could hear you. It was strangely nice out and the afternoon had turned into a kind of gathering at the park. You were sitting underneath the jungle gym with Johnny and Ponyboy sprawled out across from you. Sodapop and Steve had their knees hooked on the bars to see who could hang upside down the longest.

“Do you think this counts as flying?” Soda grinned down at you. Even upside down, it was the sweetest smile you’d ever seen.

“Only until you hit the ground.” Steve swung out his arm to try and knock him down, but Soda was quicker than that and Steve was the one that ended up in the dirt. Everybody laughed and Steve was only angry for a minute.

“Let her keep going.” Johnny whined. He seemed less skittish than he had last night. Ponyboy waited until Steve wasn’t looking to nod eagerly in agreement.

“Pony, don’t you have studying to do?” Soda climbed down and gave his brother a pleading look. It didn’t take long for Ponyboy to catch on. He made a face and got up, nudging Johnny to join him.

“Don’t be too late, Soda else Darry’ll take it out on me.” He grumbled, thanking you for the story before taking off back to the house. Steve also came up with an excuse to ditch, leaving just you and Sodapop, who tried to look surprised.

“Is this how you pick up all your girls? Cornering them in parks?” You scoffed, putting your book back in your bag. Man, his face turned red.

“I don’t know what- um- I’m not… no.” He stammered, kicking the toe of his boot into the dirt. You laughed.

“Relax, Soda, I’m just teasin’ you.” You shoved him playfully and slung your bag over your shoulder. The wind picked up a little and you shivered.

“Don’t you have a coat or something?” Soda asked, watching the goosebumps appear on your arms. You’d picked one of your short sleeve shirts since it was so nice, but now the weather seemed to remember what month it was. “Here.”

Soda wrapped an arm around your shoulders, rubbing your skin to help warm you up. His hands were softer than you thought they’d be with him working at the gas station and all. Being so close brought a pleasant pink color to your cheeks. Before you knew it, you were inching closer and closer until he kissed you.

His lips were gentle and soft and perfect. You both forgot to breathe for a while, but that didn’t bother you. When you did finally pull away, you both had the biggest grins on your faces.

“Maybe I should walk you home.” Soda said breathlessly. You nodded and, with a rush of courage you laced your fingers together as you walked.

By the time you got home, you felt like you were floating. It wasn’t the same as flying. This wasn’t rushed or heart-pounding. It was quieter and sweet. You couldn’t help but give him another kiss goodnight. When he was walking back to his house, he seemed to have a skip in his step.

You swung the front door open with a wide smile, giggling to yourself like a little kid. But that happy feeling washed away when you saw who Beth was sitting with.

“Daddy?”

Run, run Lost Boy, they say to me

Away from all of reality

You ran until your lungs felt like they’d burst. All you heard were three terrifying words and you got out of there as fast as you could “Takin’ you home.” You were home. That bastard wasn’t taking you anywhere.

You took the back way to the Curtis house, ducking your way through other people’s back yards so that your father wouldn’t be able to follow you. You were too afraid to go around front, so you found a low window and knocked on the glass.

“Darry!” You whisper-shouted. “Soda, Pony, is anybody in there? Sodapop?”

The curtains were pulled aside and an irritated looking Darry peaked out at you. He lifted up the window pane all the way so he could lean out and get a better look at you.

“The hell are you doing here, Y/N?” He asked. “Soda said he just dropped you off at home a few minutes ago.”

“I couldn’t go around front, Darry, he might see me.” You sniffed, wiping your nose on your sleeve. You must have been crying cause your face was all wet. “Could you help me in?”

He nodded and pulled you up by the arms. As you climbed in the window, Ponyboy appeared behind Darry with big eyes. You must have looked worse than you thought from climbing all those fences and cutting through yards.

“What happened to you?”

“Pony, go get her a glass of water. And where’s that other kid brother of mine?” Darry shouted before turning back to you. “Jeez, kiddo, you’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Yeah, Darry?” Soda popped his head into the room. His eyes went as wide as Pony’s had when he saw you. “Hey, Y/N, what’s the matter?” Darry grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him forward.

“Sodapop Patrick Curtis, if you hurt his girl, I’m gonna-”

“It wasn’t Soda.” You blurted. You crossed your arms over your chest and stared down at the floor. “It’s my dad. He’s come to take me back to Chicago.” You jerked your chin up, trying to look tougher than you felt. “But I’m not gonna let him.”

“I thought they let Beth bring you here.” Darry closed the window and grabbed you a blanket from the bed. It was then that you realized you must have climbed into Darry’s room. There was a pair of work boots on the floor and an old, beat-up football on the shelf.

“They did.” You glowered. Soda gently wrapped the blanket around your shoulders. “Guess they missed having something to scream at besides each other.”

“Well you can just stay here til he goes away, right Darry?” Soda said, not losing his sunny optimism for a second. Before Darry could respond, a series of loud bangs came from the front door.

“I know she’s in there you little punks!”

“Oh god, it’s him.” You hid yourself in Soda’s embrace and Darry went to answer the door.

“Come out now you-” Your father’s shouting stopped abruptly. Darry, though half his age, towered over him. He didn’t look so confident anymore. “Where’s my girl.”

You held Soda tighter. Your old man must have really hurt you because Soda knew you were one tough girl. You stood up to Dallas.

“You need to leave.” You could just see through to the living room since Darry’s bedroom door was slightly open. Darry was fully blocking your father’s view of the house.

“I’m not leaving without that little brat.” He snarled, his cockiness returning. “An’ if you don’t bring her out here, I’ll call the cops. That wouldn’t end too well for you, would it son?”

“I said leave.” Darry growled again, his muscles tensing. You knew what could happen if the cops came. So you broke away from Soda.

“I’m right here, so you can leave these boys alone.” You snapped, stepping out before Darry or Soda could grab you.

“Thought you could run around with these bums and I wouldn’t come for you?”

“How did you even know where to find me?”

“Those brats of Beth’s started hollarin’ as soon as I raised a hand at her.” He smiled cruelly.

If you hadn’t been standing there, Darry would have slugged him. You just wanted to get this over with.

“Are we going or not?” You frowned, defeated.

“Y/N, you can’t go with him!” Soda cried, trying to reach for you, but you jerked away. Tears pricked at your eyes again.

“I have to, Sodapop.”

“I don’t think so.” A new, hard voice joined the scene. You looked over your dad’s shoulder and saw the rest of the boys circling the house; Two-Big, Steve, Johnny, Ponyboy, and Dallas. Dally was the one talking. “You know something, fellas? I don’t like old me. And I really don’t like old, stinkin’ drunk men hanging around my neighborhood. Especially one that yells in my buddy’s face.”

“I ain’t afraid of a bunch of rats from Oklahoma.” Your father spat, but you could tell he was a little shaken. Dally pulled out a blade.

“How about a New York rat?” He hissed, getting real close to his face. Your dad’s eyes went wide, shifting from the blade to the circle of tough looking boys around him. Then he looked at you.

“You ain’t worth the trouble.” He decided, carefully moving around Dally and walking into the night.

The whole group gathered around, hollering and cheering over their success. Soda pulled you into a tight hug and kissed you right there in front of everybody. One of them, probably Two-Bit, whistled.

“Ponyboy, where the hell have you been?” Darry asked, ruffling his youngest brother’s hair. Pony just shrugged.

“I saw that mean old guy standing out here, so I ran and got Johnny and then we got everybody else.”

You pulled away from Soda and glanced around at the other boys.

“You all came here… for me?” You gasped, a different kind of tears now welling in your eyes.

“As soon as I heard Soda’s girl was in trouble, I got the hell over here.” Two-Bit said and Steve nodded in agreement. You felt your heart swell. Soda’s girl.

You looked at Dally. Without him, it might not have worked. He just shrugged coolly and lit a cigarette.

“I had nothin’ better to do.” But you could tell that, underneath, it was more than that. Johnny gave you a small smile.

“You’re one of us now.”

“And we stick together.” Ponyboy added. And they were right.

“Alright, I’d better call Beth and tell her everything is gonna be fine.” Darry announced. “You all get in here. I’m sure we’ve got more chocolate cake somewhere.” This was followed by more cheers and stampeding feet as the gang rushed inside.

Sodapop gave you the biggest, bright smile yet, taking your hand and following the boys to the kitchen.

Neverland is home, to Lost Boys like me

And Lost Boys like me are free.

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

#rob lowe #patrick swayze #the outsiders #80s imagines #sodapop curtis #sodapop curtis x reader #darry curtis #dally winston #Ponyboy Curtis #johnny cade #stay gold #peter pan #lost boy #neverland

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katierosefun · 4 years ago

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well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world.

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on.

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--)

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too.

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot.

movie:

columbus

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate.

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...)

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for!

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre.

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god.

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either).

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman.

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

#caroline talks #caroline recs

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papipopsicle · 5 years ago

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DOUBLE DARE

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Harrington!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Summary: In which Billy isn't 'King Billy fucking Hargrove' after the events at the Byers house, he's remorseful and in so much more pain than anyone ever seems to notice.

Song: Dizzy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing, symptoms of PTSD

Words: 2.8K

feedback is always appreciated

Hawkins wasn't the kind of place a teen could take angsty strolls, look up at the sky for a while and all their life problems would be solved. Winter lasted until February, and summer started at the end of July, the months between left void of the joy of sun or snow. It was within this time that Y/N and Billy found solace in each other's chaotic existences.

They'd met a couple times before their relationship had a label, once not knowing each other, and the next, knowing too much.

The first was in the bitter winds of a November night. Y/N Harrington was forced to transfer to Hawkins High after fighting with another girl at Lakewood Academy over something nobody knew. She wasn't happy about it, after working her arse off for the last seventeen years of her life, only for the dream to be someone special and someone her parents would be proud of, to be ripped away from her.

Steve never made it any better, it was fine when he'd bring home random girls while their parents were away (which was more often than not), at least then her record player was loud enough to shut out the moans.

But Nancy had to come along and fuck everything up. Y/N was sickened at the idea of her brother dating her childhood best friend. That wasn't even the worst part though, the sick fucker had to go break his heart too.

Having Steve wallow in self pity for a few days was one thing, but hearing him cry himself to sleep days on end was entirely another.

She took her eye off the ball to make sure it was a sound that never met her ears again. And people at Lakewood began to talk, next thing she knew, Y/N was thrown out when Bethany Wyatt somehow fell unconscious and woke up with a black eye and busted lip.

Her older brother was surprisingly comforting, but the house felt all too suffocating, even without their never-to-be-seen parents around. It took six days for her to finally snap- being cooped up in the same four walls, sappy romcoms playing in the background whilst Steve tried to shrink her after getting an 'A' on his latest psychology paper.

"Leave me the fuck alone, for Christ's sake I'm not one of those kids you babysit! Go piss in Declan's cereal." Y/N roared, cartoon steam clouds escaping her ears.

She and Steve weren't close like some siblings, they didn't do hugs or say 'I love you'. They clashed and fought; the older boy thinking he's always right and that he knows everything, only setting off Y/N's explosive anger.

Steve groaned and stormed up the stairs, following his sister to her room, "His name's Dustin- fuck! You're so immature, you know that? Maybe I do need to babysit you, maybe then you'll learn to accept that you're sad about being kicked out of Lakewood, instead of biting my head off like a little bitch."

Y/N looked up at him incredulously, as if he'd just killed six puppies. She got up from her bed and stood right in front of him, pressing her index finger against his chest accusatory, "I'm not sad, dickwad, I'm furious because I defended myself against a bully and I'm the one who gets punished. It's not my fault she learnt to fight with her words and I fight with my fists. It's not my fault I'm like this, Steve!"

He stared at her for a few moments, watching his little sister's entire body move as her breathing became laboured and heavy.

She pushed past her brother and ran downstairs, "If I'm not back before you wake up, the demogorgon attacked me!"

"That's not-." Steve shouted, only to hear the front door slam shut halfway through his sentence, "funny."

It had been three months since Eleven had returned and saved Hawkins for the second time, Y/N knew they were no longer out there. She also knew it would strike a nerve in her brothers damaged soul and in that moment it was exactly what she wanted. The Harrington girl would probably regret it when she arrived back home in the early hours, knock on Steve's door and he'd tell her he was the one out of line and that it was okay. After all, he was the reason behind why she got expelled.

Y/N found herself running towards the school. In her short pleated skirt, fishnets and combat boots, the girl sprinted all the way through the woods until she found a clearing, and began walking on the side of the road. She should've been terrified to be out in the darkness all alone after the sights that had scarred her eyes, but it calmed her disturbed mind. Her problems faded to insignificance at the idea of being attacked by an inter-dimensional monster.

Her anger had dissipated after an hour or two of strolling back up and down, and she finally began to feel at ease in the cool midnight winds. That's when the sound of a turbocharged engine collapsed her serenity. She turned on her heel, letting the asphalt crunch under her foot as she squinted into the oncoming headlights.

Numbness had spread far enough over her body not to care whether the driver was Steve, a total stranger, or maybe even a creature from the upside down ready to kill her. Y/N shrugged it off and continued wandering, moving into the forest clearing so the muscle car didn't hit her if the driver wasn't paying enough attention.

Her steps became hurried as she heard the engine quieten, gaze kept forwards until the car picked up enough speed to pass her then completely stop. The air in her lungs felt trapped, feet planted to the broken up edge of the road.

"Hey!" A young yet deep male voice called, a mop of gentle dirty blonde curls appearing over the roof as the sound of the metal door opening and shutting cut away at the silence Y/N found herself stuck in. She didn't dare to move, eyes wide in a hazy mix of fear and intrigue.

He began moving around the car, closer to her frozen figure and stopping at what he deemed a safe distance. Billy looked her up and down, not in his usual 'I wanna fuck you' way towards the opposite sex; he checked over every inch of her exposed skin to make sure there were no signs of injury. When he finally met her eyes, he was stunned. They were the colour of milk chocolate edged with a deep forest-green. The two colors seemed to swirl together like moss creeping over rich soil.

Beautiful, he thought, not noticing the deep violet bags which sat beneath them. Y/N hated her eyes for them, yet they hadn't crossed his mind.

"Are you okay, Bambi?" Billy asked cautiously, taking a small step closer to her. His voice felt soft like a warm hug, yet she knew how it could easily be laced with venom. She'd seen his type before, knew how they could act so smooth then at the flick a switch be encased by rage if the word 'no' was introduced to them. She'd dated that type, been manipulated by their silver tongue and soft touch.

"I'm fine." Y/N's voice found the courage to speak, her body pushing past his and continuing its disassociated roam down the empty road ahead. She didn't feel like speaking to anyone, didn't feel like doing anything. Her mind was a wormhole of desolation and all she wanted was some peace away from home life and school life.

"If you want me to get in my car and carry on, I can. But, chances are you're feeling alone and don't-" Billy tried his best to do what he thought was right, he didn't have to stop when he saw her shivering figure at the side of the empty road. Hell, he probably shouldn't have.

"What you do doesn't really affect me, kid." Y/N snarled with no enthusiasm, her words falling hollow and getting lost in the wind.

The girl noticed he didn't speak after that, yet she hadn't heard the distinct sound of a car door opening and shutting either. She turned her head a fraction, not wanting to give him the attention he seemingly so desperately wanted from her but interested to know if she was about to get killed. Y/N rolled her eyes irritably as his taller figure appeared beside her own.

A few minutes passed as they ambled along the never ending barren road side by side without a word exchanged. Y/N felt oddly comfortable, more so than she did in that stupid private school or at home with Steve in constant seldom silence or rage filled bickering.

This silence was pleasant and held no secrets. Mostly due to the fact they were perfect strangers, no lingering expectations to be great or even good. Y/N stole another glance at him through the dark moonlight, his thick shoulder length hair appearing soft in its naturally curly state, and his flawlessly chiselled face hidden by plump cheeks and long eyelashes.

He could've committed some kind of atrocity for all she knew, but is company felt comforting and she wasn't one to judge.

"D'you just plan on following me around all night, then?" Y/N's voice sounded much more mellowed and velvety, her heartbeat no longer erratic in her ears allowing her mind some peace.

Billy sighed and rubbed a hand across his face before stuffing both into the pockets of his denim jacket to find some kind of warmth, "Haven't exactly planned that far ahead, gotta be honest with you. I don't know, I just needed to clear my head, and it seemed like you were doing the same."

"You could say that." Y/N scoffed, her numb mind somehow still managing to make her legs move forwards without stumbling. The biting cold air pricked at her paled skin, but she enjoyed the feeling. It was better than feeling nothing at all. "Fucked up shit happens a lot considering nothing happens around here."

"Did someone hurt you?" The words filled with unease tumbled from his mouth before he had the chance to catch them. Billy couldn't tell himself why he cared, why he was still walking along side this stranger in the dead of night on a Tuesday. Wednesday, now. But after the events at Mrs Byers' house, he had realised he'd become the monster he feared most- his father. If there was anything he could do to stop that, it was all he had done for the past three months.

Y/N smiled at her own stupid actions coming back to the forefront of her memories. She shook her head, still smiling, "That's too complicated to answer right now. Unfortunately, I managed to fuck things up pretty bad all on my own this time."

"I'm listening." Billy's eyes wandered across the unending tree border as he let the girl gather her thoughts and decide whether to indulge him or not.

She did.

"A couple weeks ago I overheard some skanks from my school trash talking my family; you see my brother slept with this girl named Rosie once ages ago so she put herself on a pedestal and thinks her words are gospel now. She was joking with her friends about how we're basically orphans. And then, this is the real kicker, she made up a rumour saying I'd got crabs from sleeping with the gym teacher. Which is hilarious because I'm a virgin still. So, I confronted her, she denied it, and I may or may not have blacked out and beat the living daylights out of her. Last week the dean decided to kick me out, so as of next Monday I'll be back at the shit show they call Hawkins High."

It felt easy to spill her thoughts to this oddly handsome person she'd never met before. Y/N felt like adding, 'oh and there's supernatural demons running around trying to take you to another dimension and kill you, but don't worry, our telekinetic friend saved us. Twice.' But she liked him enough in that moment not to want to scare him away.

"I would've hit her, too." Billy chuckled dryly, realising this girl was stronger than she seemed. His voice picked up after a beat of silence, "Billy, by the way."

"Y/N." She smiled her first warm, genuine smile for a rather long time, and it felt strange and satisfying all at once. Silence fell upon them once again after that, not feeling unpleasant in the slightest. They walked side by side with no destination in mind, Y/N's body bumping against his every now and again. The fist time was an accident, after that she kept on doing it to see the small smile pull at the corners of his lips from the contact.

Her combat boots halted on the torn up asphalt, kicking up small stones a few feet across the road. Without indication to her newfound friend, she switched direction and began walking back towards the other end of the endless road back towards Hawkins away from Lakewood.

"Alright then." Billy quirked an eyebrow at her odd behaviour as he followed and fell back into aimless step with her.

"Billy," she enjoyed the way his name rolled off her tongue, "could you drive me home?" She looked up at him with hope in her eyes, half feigned half real. Y/N was a shell of a person, broken and cold after what her eyes had witnessed, but she really liked the way her mind felt at ease around this boy with fluffy hair and muscular arms.

"Sure."

They made their way up to the car in silence, time running by much quicker with Y/N's spirits lifted. Billy unlocked his Camaro and the two settled into their seats, the heater almost instantly turned up to the highest setting.

"Where are you from, Billy?" Y/N couldn't help herself but ask, she had a knack for wanted to know everything and managing to know everything one way or another. She enjoyed the ever so slight accent in his voice, certainly not from these parts. His olive skin, probably once a lot more tanned and bright, gave it away too. Nobody here got enough vitamin D to look that pretty.

She told him to take the next turning, filling the space his answer was about to fall into. Y/N noticed the sounds of AC/DC playing quietly, one of her all time favourite songs. Steve would buy their albums and she'd buy Madonna when they visited the mall together, then swap when they got back to his car.

"California, my dad remarried and they both wanted a new start, so we ended up here." Billy answered calmly, voice tinged with anguish. The girl gave him another direction and told him to pull up two houses down from her own.

"If my brother saw someone giving me a lift home I think he'd murder you then me, so for everyone's safety it's best not to let him in on our little secret." Y/N grinned halfheartedly up at Billy, realising Steve wouldn't have gone to sleep yet and it was her fault. He was a real dick sometimes, but she wondered if he was the only person in the world to actually give a shit about her.

"Sounds like a real buzzkill." Billy joked with an unknown lightness to his tone, turning the ignition off and settling his gaze on her devastatingly brilliant eyes again.

Y/N nodded and leant over the centre console, wrapping her arms around Billy's much larger torso, he didn't react for a moment, not entirely sure what was happening, but he eventually returned the hug.

"Thanks for stopping earlier, tonight would've been a lot more lonely if you hadn't." Y/N unclasped her seatbelt and unlocked the door, sending the boy a truly heartfelt smile before they said goodbye to one another. He watched her walk down the road and disappear into her driveway, making sure she was safe before he left.

The Harrington girl quietly entered her house, taking off her rather muddy boots and making her way up to her brother's bedroom. She knocked quietly on his door out of politeness but didn't wait for an answer before opening it.

"Steve-" her voice was remorseful, this is how it always went.

He groaned a little from his work desk, eyes failing to stay open consistently, "I know, I'm sorry." Steve sent her a weak smile, knowing how hurt his little sister was at heart.

"Yeah," she sighed, "me too."

Y/N climbed into bed that night with the scent of Billy's strong cologne still clinging to her too, and it made her feel at ease. She slept well for the first time in a very long time, mind for once not plagued by creatures from another world.

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#fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove x reader #billy x reader #steve harrington

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athenagrantt · 5 years ago

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okay.

summary: buck always hated the whole soulmate bullshit... okay maybe not always but for as long as he learned two things: one, what is his soulmark and two, who his soulmate is, in that particular order or in which buck has the last words his soulmate will ever say to him tattooed on his arm and his soulmate is his best friend. warnings: major character death words: 4,497k a/n: hi! So this is my very first 9-1-1/buddie fic and so I decided it’d be a great idea to introduce myself to y’all with this angsty fic and probably make all of you hate me so… yeah, call me satan and enjoy! lmao (side note if you wanna cry more I recommend to read this while listening to tough by lewis capaldi *wink wink*) read on ao3

There were so may ways you could find your soulmate Buck couldn’t count them even if he tried. And from what he knew and he’d like to think he knew quite a lot about the topic since he was fascinated by soulmates growing up, most of them were cute, romantic and funny or some kind of combinations of all three. And since everyone around him fit into that equation, you could even say Buck was excited to find that person who was destined to be with him.

Everything shifted when Buck was a little older and found out there actually were not-so-nice and cute ways to find a soulmate and that made Buck anxious about the future. Instead of looking forward to his eighteenth birthday he was dreading it. Every time he thought about it his chest got a little tighter and his breathing quickened.

It wasn’t like he had to take a test or an interview or something like that to determine his way of finding his other half. He’d just know. He’d wake up on his birthday and just know how it’s gonna go so he shouldn’t be this stressed. But he was. And every year his anxiety just kept getting worse because just in three years, two years, one year he w o u l d k n o w.

And yes, he could be overthinking for nothing. He could be just as lucky as other people and have a cute tattoo or see them in his dreams or not age ‘til they meet and it would be awesome but at the same time his brain kept reminding him he could be the unlucky one and most of the time Buck didn’t even want to think what that would mean.

On his birthday, the birthday, Buck woke up feeling different. He couldn’t figure it out right away but he had this gut feeling something’s changed. It was almost like a missing piece of him was finally in its place. He felt whole. And the first thing he did was smile and exhale slowly, calmly. He chuckled quietly not even knowing why and got up from the bed strangely ready to take on another day.

Only when he was putting his clothes on, Buck noticed something on his arm which was strange considering the fact he could barely fall asleep the night before constantly thinking about everything the next day would mean. He took a deep breath and after few seconds finally looked at his arm.

Okay.

Buck furrowed his brows. That was it? Just one word? At first he thought maybe there’s more to come so he spent the entire day constantly checking his arms even though something inside his head was telling him there will not be anything else. And that little voice was right because when Buck went back to bed the same, lonely word was all he saw.

And then a cold, uncomfortable chill run through his entire body and it hit him like a ton of bricks. Something he should’ve think about right away. Instead of overthinking what the tattoo was actually saying he should’ve think about what was the meaning behind it. Because there was one and as soon as Buck unlocked that part, he knew. He knew exactly what that small, innocent okay placed on his wrist meant and for a few seconds that realization knocked the air out of his lungs.

Buck spent the next few hours sitting in the same exact spot on his bed, his breath shaky and shallow, the thumb of his right hand abstinently stroking the inked skin on his left wrist. He felt numb, not able to do anything to break his trance. He noticed he was crying only when the tears started dropping on his hand and still he did nothing to stop them. His vision blurry, the only thing he could see was that same little okay he was staring at for hours.

This was the last thing his soulmate would ever say to him.

He didn’t want to believe it. He wished it was a mistake.

But he knew,

he knew

he knew it wasn’t.

He knew that little word will, someday, shatter his entire world into pieces. Pieces he won’t be able to glue together. Because his heart will die. Literally. And there’s nothing he can do about it, nothing he can do to prevent it. All he can do is wait and hope.

Okay.

And just as he was lying on the bed, as if all the hurt wasn’t enough, Buck realised another two things. Yes, ‘okay’ will be the only thing his soulmate will ever say to him but he has no idea of knowing which one of them could be in a life-death situation. He just assumed that short word would be said when his soulmate would be dying but who’s to say it won’t be him and ‘okay’ will be literally the last thing he will ever hear? Thinking about it felt like someone was kicking him in the gut.

However Buck didn’t have much time to dwell on that because another thought wanted to be heard – Why just one word? Wasn’t his luck bad enough? How was he supposed to know which ‘okay’ would be the last one? Was he supposed to panic every time someone in his presence said it? Or was he supposed to just know like he knows he definitely was the unluckiest person in the entire world right now?

He had two possible choices - to just live his life to the fullest, knowing he or someone who he will love with everything in him might day and he has no idea when, why or who could it be or to completely close himself off to love, to avoid it like a fire and be miserable his whole life…

But seeing as only few years later Buck was working as a firefighter and chasing fires was literally his job the choice seemed pretty obvious. Somewhere along the way he decided he can’t waste his life. He won’t waste his life. The idea of losing his soulmate, one way or another, still terrified him, but throughout the years he learned to just ignore or silence that part of his brain. Was it healthy for his mental health? God no. But it was working so Buck decided to stick with it.

Then… Buck meet Eddie and again something in him started to change. It was even more confusing than the time thing like this happened on his eighteen birthday. But somehow, somehow Buck knew it had to do with his soulmate. He didn't know how Eddie fit in there but he must’ve.

Because Buck knew.

The idea of Eddie being his soulmate crossed him mind more than once but Eddie told him about Shannon, his w i f e, so no matter what Buck was imagining, Eddie Diaz wasn’t his soulmate and he had to accept it. And he did.

But then Shannon died.

And Eddie’s soulmark was still there.

And Buck was so confused.

Because that wasn’t supposed to happen. When you or your soulmate dies your soulmark dies with you/them. What happens after that? Buck had no idea but what he knew was that the blue eyes Eddie kept on seeing in his dreams should now be gone.

They were not. Even weeks after Shannon’s death Eddie was complaining he still dreamt about them. Buck suggested that maybe it takes time for a soulmark to completely disappear but the thing with Eddie’s soulmark was that it wasn’t disappearing at all. Eddie was convinced that it’s the exact opposite and the eyes he sees are even more visible than before. And at this point Buck was just lost.

When he met Eddie they talked about soulmates. And Eddie explained to him that even though he can see the eyes in his dreams, he’d only know for sure after he kissed his soulmate. He told Buck after he kissed Shannon for the first time he was positive she was it for him and then they had Christopher – whom Buck loves almost as if he was his own son, and despite everything that happened between him and Shannon he thought they would work it out. Unfortunately they didn’t and now Buck wasn’t the only one who was struggling with his soulmate.

He wished both him and Eddie had it as easy as their colleagues from the station.

Like his own sister and Chimney for example. They were both living in a black and white until they kissed and when they did suddenly the world was colourful and beautiful and the two of them were so happy and full of love.

Or Athena and Bobby. Bobby could literally see her in her dreams. He knew exactly who was his soulmate when he laid his eyes on her and when Athena heard his voice, when they first spoke, she knew it was him because the same thing that came out of his mouth was what was tattooed on her forearm.

But Buck’s favourite, to this day were Han and Karen. When they met their hearts started glowing. Han told him, jokingly that they must’ve really been in love because the glow of their hearts wouldn't go away for a whole week. And it only made Buck love their story even more. Mainly because when Buck was younger he wished that would be him someday. Finding love with a glowing heart.

Instead he was cursed with his little okay.

Nothing was okay and it was even less okay after the dinner they had at Bobby and Athena’s place one time Okay, no, the dinner itself was great. But they always were. As long as all of them were together in a room, everything was great. So they talked, they drank, they ate, they laughed and drank some more. A few of them would have a hangover the next day but they were having so much fun that the next morning wasn’t important. Buck wasn’t even mad when his team lost a game of charades – and if it was all Bucks’s fault because he kept staring at his best friend, no one has to know… except everyone knew. The alcohol coursing through his veins did not make him subtle at all.

It was weird. Because up to that very dinner party Buck never thought about Eddie in that way.

That was a lie.

He definitely did think about Eddie in that way but never before let himself think he could have something real with Eddie. He was so fixated on the idea that they weren’t soulmates he never even thought they could still be a thing. Not being someone else’s soulmate never stopped him from a relationship and yet he couldn’t bring himself to try and start something with Eddie. No matter how hard he wanted to pretend he didn’t know what was holding him back, he did. And it was pretty simple and obvious – he didn’t want to risk his friendship with Eddie and his relationship with Christopher. He loved that kid so much sometimes it scared him. The way Chris could chase all his worries away with just one smile was incredible and Buck would rather pine for Eddie from afar then do something that in the long run had the possibility of hurting Chris.

Where were those exact thoughts after the dinner when Eddie suggested they don’t stop the fun now and grab a drink or two at the nearby bar? Buck had no idea but he always had a hard time saying no to Eddie so they did grab a drink or two or four at the bar nearby.

So yeah, the dinner itself was great, it was everything that happened after that might have been the worst or best night in Buck’s life. To this day he’s not sure.

At first the night was going great. They ordered the first round of drinks and sat in the corner booth at the very end of the room where the music was just a little bit quieter and it was easier to hear what they were saying. Also, the light wasn’t that aggressive and when after good twenty minutes Buck thought about it, the whole atmosphere of the booth was awfully romantic. Eddie either didn’t mind it or simply didn’t notice too preoccupied with telling a story about Christopher from that morning.

They spent most of the time like this, talking and laughing, just like best friends do. Buck had even more fun than only hours ago when they were with the rest of the team. Something about it being just the two of them made it even better. And when the voice inside his head would keep on telling him it was because he had feelings for Eddie he’d just push it down, ignoring it before his heart would flutter at the idea.

It was so easy to fall for Eddie Diaz. Buck couldn’t even point to en exact moment he realised he wanted something more than friendship. The idea was silly but it was like Buck’s entire body started vibrating when he was close to him. When it happened the first time, for a second, Buck thought he was dying. He’s never felt anything even close to what he felt that day and it scared and excited him at the same time. Right there and then was the first time Buck thought about Eddie being his soulmate and just by thinking it his body got all warm and tingly and he absolutely loved it. Chimney was the only one who noticed his reaction and for a good week kept making faces at him any time Eddie entered the room which after a month was quite annoying but there was nothing Buck could do about it so he just learned to go with it.

Along the way everyone around him started to notice how taken he was by Eddie… Eddie being the exception. Buck was almost amazed by how oblivious his best friend was. Whenever Han or Chim or even Booby would say something to embarrass Buck in front of him he completely shrugged it off and didn’t give it a second thought. Sometimes Buck was curious what he’d have to do for Eddie to get the idea.

Like what if he were to casually take Eddie’s hand in the middle of his story? Without any explanation. Just hold it, maybe intertwined their fingers together and listen to the story like nothing happened. Would that be enough for Eddie to stop and question what was going on? Suddenly Buck really wanted to know and-

“Hey, man you there? You seemed kinda off.” Eddie’s voice brought him back from daydreaming.

“Yeah, sorry. Spaced out a little.” Buck chuckled.

“Are you calling me boring, Buckley?” A challenging smile on Eddie’s lips.

Buck wanted to kiss those lips.

“I’m not saying Chris would told this story better but...” He trailed off, teasing.

“Wow.” Eddie sighed, trying to look offended but failing.

Buck knew he should’ve stop drinking if he wanted to finish the night without embarrassing himself but at this point in his life he was also pretty good at ignoring his thoughts so that’s what he did and moments later was ordering another round.

He had no idea what happened in that short period of time he was gone but when he was back in the booth he had this feeling that the mood has changed. Something shifted in that little world Eddie and him were immersed for the last two hours. He didn’t know what but when Eddie emptied almost half of his drink at once he knew something definitely happened.

And then before he even had the chance to ask, Eddie’s face was so close to his, Buck could probably count his eyelashes if wasn’t as surprised as she was.

And then they were kissing. And Buck’s head was spinning. And Eddie’s hands were on his neck pulling him even closer. And he let him. And Buck himself grabbed Eddie’s shirt in his hands. And an embarrassingly loud groan escaped his lips. And he could feel Eddie smiling. And Buck hated how much he loved it. But they were kissing so it didn’t matter. Because E d d i e k i s s e d h i m.

Buck had to physically, gently push Eddie away because as much as he absolutely loved feeling his lips on his own, suddenly he knew and yet again he absolutely hated his life.

Okay.

Right after Buck broke the kiss, he could see how confused Eddie was. And he had every right to because Buck did kiss him back. And they both knew what just happened and what that meant for them but for some reason, after a moment of complete silence between them Eddie felt the need to voice the fact. “You’re my soulmate.” He said quietly and Buck was surprised he could actually hear him. “We’re soulmates.” Eddie said again with a smile on his face and Buck wanted to cry.

Okay.

He was fine with Eddie not knowing Buck had feelings for him. It was easier. It was safer. But Eddie kissed him and Buck kissed him back. And now the idea he was so quick to dismiss so many time before turned out to be true and Buck hated it. Because it meant he would lose Eddie. Someday in the hopefully long ass future he will definitely loose his best friend. One of them will die leaving the other one. No one said it had to be soon but Buck couldn’t let himself get his hopes up.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

It didn’t take long for Eddie to decipher Buck’s reaction. He knew how Buck felt about his soulmark and it was safe to say he hated it. It wasn’t a secret. And Buck always said he’s rather never find them rather than go through loosing essentially a part of himself. So knowing that, Eddie couldn’t even be mad. He could only imagine how hard it was for Buck to know the last thing Eddie would say to him. Now that he knew Buck was his soulmate he wasn’t sure himself how he felt about the idea but he knew he wouldn’t want anyone else as his soulmate.

“Buck.” Eddie said, his hand firmly gripping Buck’s shoulder. “Look at me.” He asked and took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s okay.”

“Eddie.” Buck’s breath hitched and when nothing happened he exhaled sharply and pulled Eddie in for a tight hug. “You’re okay.”

“I’m fine. I’m okay. We’re okay.” Eddie assured him and Buck hated how his heart stopped for a second every time Eddie said that word.

“Please never say ‘okay’ to me ever again.”

Buck was so serious it almost gave Eddie chills but he rolled his eyes to somehow loosen up the tense moment. “Buck. Don’t be ridiculous.” He shook his head, grabbing Buck’s hand. “Do you really believe that me not saying the word will change anything?”

“I hope so.” Buck sighed. “Eddie, I can’t lose you.” He admitted eventually and it nearly broke Eddie’s heart to hear how defeated he sounded. And Eddie wanted to assure him, he won’t but he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t promise something like that and he didn’t want to lie to Buck. “The only thing we can do is to live to the fullest and enjoy it while it lasts, okay?” Eddie said, adding the word Buck hated on purpose just to make his point.

And Buck knew Eddie was right. He couldn’t live in fear because he wouldn’t be living at all. And now that he knew Eddie was his soulmate Buck wanted so many things out of life. So just like he did all those years ago, when he found that little okay on his wrist, he decided to let that fear of losing Eddie motivate him to live his life like every day was the last one rather than stop living at all. And being a firefighter sure did help him understand how fragile life was, on a daily basis.

Even before he knew Eddie’s his soulmate both of them had a few close calls and right there one of them could’ve died and when Buck thinks about it now it would be so much worse. The situation he is now isn’t the best but it always could be worse. If Eddie were to die and Buck would find out they were soulmates before he had any chance to do anything about it he’s sure he’d die right beside him because of how broken his heart would be. At least now they had a chance to be together. No matter how long.

Months have passed and both of them were still happy and most importantly healthy. Of course, there were times one of them would be closer to the other side that they’d prefer, knowing the circumstances but at the end they were okay.

Until they weren’t.

The day started almost like any other. It was better because exactly a year ago they were in a bar where they discovered they’re soulmates. A year ago they got together and started their lives as a couple.

An anniversary.

Time really flies when you’re happy and in love. Buck could not believe it has been a year already. It was, hands down, the best year of his life. A year filled with nothing but the kind of love that consumes you entirely. So he insisted they go out and celebrate together. All three of them. Because it wouldn’t be the same without Christopher. Buck made a reservation at their favourite restaurant and was so excited he nearly started counting down the hours.

Much to all his friends’ joy he didn’t have the time to actually do it since the day was just hectic. Every call was more intense than the previous one and the last one of the day was the actual worst one in every meaning imaginable.

There was a man threatening a woman with a gun. He was drunk and Buck would say crazy. When they got there Bobby, Eddie and him went inside. Bobby tried to talk the man down, tried to reason with him but to no avail. It seemed like the man couldn’t even hear him like all this anger bubbling inside him made him deaf. Which was ridiculous of course, but Buck really didn’t know how else to describe it.

And everything that happened after Bobby stopped talking and addressed Buck and Eddie happened so quickly Buck didn’t even know what he was doing after he was in the middle of throwing himself at the captain. All he remembered was the man pointing his gun at Bobby and pulling the trigger. When both of them landed on the ground everyone present realised the gun did not fire. Buck let himself take a deep shaky breath before he looked back at the scene and oh how he wished he didn’t. Because when he turned his head around, standing up from the ground he saw Eddie charging at the man who now knew that now there was nothing to lose. He attempted to kill Bobby so he might as well carry on with his plan.

Before Eddie managed to reach him, the man quickly reload the gun and fired.

One.

Two.

Three.

Then Eddie landed on the ground, nothing but pure shock on his face. The only thing Buck could hear was the beating of his own heart. He was on his knees when Eddie fall down and now wasn’t able to pull himself up. Completely ignoring the very real chance of being shot himself he stumbled to where Eddie was lying in a pool of his blood, hand clutching his chest.

Buck was numb.

He had no idea what was happening around him. The only thing important to him was Eddie and when he reached him he took his hand in his. Tears were streaming down his face but he didn’t even noticed.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

“They’re almost gone.” Eddie mumbled, looking at Buck.

“What?” Buck asked even though he had a pretty good idea what Eddie was talking about. But this time, this time Buck let himself hope.

“Your eyes.” Eddie smiled, his eyes closing just for a second.

Buck’s wrist started to sting.

Okay.

“Eddie. No.” Buck’s voice broke and his heart was beating so fast. “You can’t-” He couldn’t finish. He didn’t want to finish. “Think about Christopher. You can’t leave Christopher.” He cried. “You can’t leave me.” Eddie’s grip on his hand was so weak it made Buck sick. “We have an anniversary dinner to go to.” He tried, he tried to be okay. “Eddie please.”

“I know you’ll take good care of him Buck. There’s nobody in this world that I trust with him more than you, remember?” Buck could barely hear him and the pain in his wrist was increasing with every second yet it still was nothing in comparison to the pain of hi dying heart.

Okay.

“Eddie-” He wanted to say so many things but the lump in his throat wouldn’t let him.

“I know.” Eddie placed his hand on Buck’s cheek. “I love you, too.”

Buck couldn’t take it any more. Still holding Eddie’s hand, he laid his head on his chest and regretted it as soon as he heard how slow and weak Eddie’s heartbeat was. How he wished it was just a very very bad dream or some sick joke. How was he supposed to live his life now?

“Hey, look at me.” He obeyed but when he looked in Eddie’s eyes he knew exactly what was gonna happen and if it was possible, he just cried harder.

Okay.

“Don’t say it. Eddie I am begging you, please don’t say it.” Buck was shaking his head frantically. His whole body was shaking and he wasn’t sure if it ever stop. “You’re gonna be fine. I love you. So much. You’re gonna be fine, okay?” He didn't even noticed what he said until Eddie smiled at him with all the love he had for Buck in his eyes.

“Okay.” Eddie exhaled and tugged at Buck’s hand. He couldn’t see anything through the tears but he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Eddie’s. When he pulled away he was choking on the tears. Still strongly gripping Eddie’s hand he just looked at him before he noticed that his wrist wasn’t hurting any more. The one thing he hated about himself and now the only thing he’d of Eddie was gone and he’d never imagined he’s miss it.

Buck managed to whisper one last ‘I love you’ before he felt a pair of hands pulling him away from his now forever gone soulmate.

And he was far, far away from okay.

#9-1-1 #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #kingaftwriting #i'm so sorry #asdfghjkl #i was literally bawling my eyes out writing the last part #it hurts so much #i am satan #ANYWAY #hope you hate it enough to like it!#lmao #there are probably tons of mistakes bc i didn't proof read #so sorry about that

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dangermousie · 7 years ago

Text

Like Georgians, Jacobites and some of the most awesome romance novels? A Patricia Veryan pusher post

I have just discovered that Patricia Veryan, a writer of romance novels set in Georgian and Regency time, has had the bulk of her books reissued on kindle.

So this is a giant pusher post.

Who is Patricia Veryan, you may ask. She was a British writer of romance novels who was old school enough to belong to the style of Georgette Heyer and Jeffery Farnol (who deserves his own pusher post), instead of the newer but now old “bodice ripper, rapey” school like Woodiwiss, Rogers et al. Her novels have plots, no sex scenes and are swoonily, amazingly romantic. She also did her research and they feel like true period novels, not modern people in period clothes prancing about.

They are full of swashbuckling, angsty heroes with awful families, strong heroines fighting off villains, conspiracies unmasked, swords at dawn, tons of hero torture and gorgeousness. Does it sound good? It should.

As I mentioned above, she wrote both regencies and Georgians, but I am gonna talk about the latter series today, because they are all on kindle. Her two Georgian series are The Golden Chronicles (set in the aftermath of Bonnie Prince Charlie's 1745 uprising) and Tales of the Jeweled Men (ditto). TGC follow the supposed treasure that Bonnie Prince Charlie amassed to help his Rebellion, which disappears, and which now the good guys are trying to get to the donors and bad guys want for themselves. There are six books in the series (though there are two earlier books, Mistress of Willowale and The Wicked Widow, which tie into it too. MoW is not available on kindle but TWW is and is a delightful Georgian romp with a rakish, cynical hero who ends up adoring the spunky, cheerful, pragmatic heroine. I am rereading it RN). * Practice to Deceive - Penelope Montgomery always meant to marry Quentin Chandler but he went off and joined the Jacobite rebellion and her family died and she's stuck with her awful aunt and uncle. Quentin resurfaces when he comes to her for assistance but he gets captured by her psycho family and tortured for info about the treasure. Penelope rescues him and they go on the run. I loooove this book. Penny is not flighty or dim or anything but calm, a little reserved, very ladylike, yet awesome. And I have a crush on charming, funny, h/c magnet Quentin. My fave Veryan character, Roland Mathieson, first appears in this one as the bad guy's henchman who kinda wants Penelope. * Journey to Enchantment - the hero of this one is Penelope's brother Geoffrey and heroine a Scottish gal Prudence McTavish. I remember liking it OK (short version - Geoffrey is Jacobite Scarlet Pimpernel) but was not particularly in love. * The Tyrant - love this one. Phoebe Ramsay ends up being stuck in an engagement to Meredith Carruthers as a cover for some Jacobite-related smuggling. I love both fashionable, fun Phoebe and cool, common-sense, angstmuffin Mededith (we are introduced to the first but not the last of Veryan's horrific parents in this one - I am not sure whether I hate his father or his mother more) and we see more of Roland who actually ends up helping the lead couple, in a very ironic, standoffish way, while sneaking bad guy bits now and then. * Love Alters Not - super super super obsession. Dimity Cranford, in order to lead soldiers away from an injured Jacobite family friend, ends up in all sorts of complicated embroglios which ultimately lead her pretending to be someone else entirely, that someone a woman trying to disposess Sir Anthony Farrar, an English army captain in the late Rebellion, who has been ostracized by everyone for running at the battle of Prestopans, leading to the rout of his unit and *da-dun* making Dimity's brother crippled. So much angst and hurt/comfort and awesomeness, you have NO idea. I think Dimity/Anthony are my favorite Veryan OTP which is saying a huge huge deal. Also, I believe I was gibbering and screaming at my book during Anthony's trial. Roland appears again and this is the book I fell for him in - he's sort of Anthony's friend and is thoroughly delicious. * Cherished Enemy - follows Robert McTavish (Prudence's brother) and Rosamond Albritton, sister of a recurring character. Tbh, it's my least fave in the series, though I don't hate it or anything, so I don't remember it much. * The Dedicated Villain - LOOOOOOVE! Roland gets a book! And what a book! Roland is on the hunt for the Jacobite treasure, comes across a troupe of actors (or are they?), which includes the tiny (short ladies represent!) but fierce and awesome Fiona Bradford - will he actually change his mind about his obsession? The Dedicated Villain is my favorite of her Georgians (well, that, and Love Alters Not are probably tied). I mean, Roland and Fiona! This series actually manages to do a convincing job of moving Roland from villain to antihero to hero with me buying the transition; also it explains why he starts out the way he does without making it a full excuse. TDV is also one of the very few books that maxed out my hurt/comfort love - PV never really went much for h/c of the physical as opposed to emotional sort in general but Roland's torture scenes in TDV are beyond brutal, I was kinda reading through my fingers and bawling (one of my vivid memories is being high school age, sitting under a tree during the very hot summer, reading that stuff and sniffling). But oddly, it didn't feel gratuitous because it was sort of karma for some of the stuff he did, especially to Quentin in Practice to Deceive (though what happened to him was miles worse than what happened to Quentin). And props to Veryan for having the guts to give him permanent damage. Jeweled Men follows a nefarious conspiracy to take over certain strategic properties to stage an invasion and a bunch of sexay aristocrats who stumble on the plot and decide to fight it (think 18th century Pimpernel). * Time's Fool - follows Gideon Rossiter, a discharged officer who's just returned from the Continent, and his attempts to figure out why his family's properties and wealth imploded. Heroine is Naomi Lutonville, Gideon's erstwhile fiancee. I normally wouldn't like Naomi - she's high-maintenance and dramatic, but I adore her to bits. I ship them like crazy, too. * Had We Never Loved - my first Veryan! Clearly, I was impressed. Horatio Glendenning (remember Jacobite family friend in Love Alters Not? That's him) fought for Bonnie Prince Charlie so his future is not so good. His OTP is a feisty gypsy, Amy Consett, who is NOT discovered to be a Duke's daughter in disguise or anything. It's a lovely lovely book and they are a lovely lovely OTP. * Ask Me No Questions - Quentin's staid older brother Gordon gets his own books. There are all sorts of machinations, but this is not a huge favorite. Gordon and Ruth Allington are nice people but give me Penny and Quentin's humor and reckless courage any day. If you like nice and mature leads though, this one is for you. * A Shadow's Bliss - like amnesia? This book is for you. Ruth's amnesiac bro Jonathan tries to solve the mystery of a shipwreck he was involved in blah blah heroine is Jennifer Britewell and I literally remember nothing about her. Or Jonathan, for that matter, other than he has amnesia. The reason to read this book is the recurring characters of August Falcon, Jamie Morris, and Gwendolyn Rossiter. I read Jeweled Men as if was coming out and remember devouring each book for even the slightest hint of progress between cynical, cutting August and smart, unimpressed Gwendolyn - they are one of my fave Veryan OTPs, together with Dimity/Anthony, Roland/Fiona, and Mitchell/Charity from Sanguinet books. * Never Doubt I Love - Dimity's bro finds love. Once again, I was in it for finding out what makes August tick, Jamie's adoration of August's sis Katrina, and Gwen and August's sexy sparkle. It’s a good book on its own merits though and has a hero with a disability, which was unusual at the time. * The Mandarin of Mayfair - EEEE! EEEEE! I still remember pre-ordering this book and rolling in mad glee (hyperbole. Or is it?) August and Gwen get their own book, plus the conspiracy gets finally unmasked, there is kissing and hurt/comfort and gals being the ones to propose. The OTP is beyond amazing - August is so smart and lethal and functional despite his major issues arising out of the fact that as 1/4 Chinese he’s looked down as a mongrel by “polite” society (I love that Veryan's heroes never wallow), Gwendolyn is full of common-sense and rescues him from prisons and bad guys and won't let anyone bash him (himself included, but also their friends, which turn on him for spoilery reasons. I still have residual rage about it. Katrina, you are the worst sister ever and dead to me!) I think the ending is a little pat to resolve the very real issues he has with marrying Gwendolyn and dragging her into his life, but at that point they've been through so much hell, I didn't even care.

My favorite OTPs in her Georgian series are are four-way time between ladylike Penelope x incorrigible adventurer Quentin in PtD, tormented and self-abasing Anthony and fearless Dimity in LAN, reformed villain Roland x not really an actress Fiona in TDV, and deadly and messed up August x fearless and clever Gwen (btw, Gwen is a heroine with a disability, which, once again, was an unusual thing at the time.) Worst father award goes to Roland's father (die in a fire, please!) and worst mother is either August's or Meredith's. Coolest family is either Dimity's or Horatio's. Favorite brother-sister pair are Gwen and Gideon Rossiters.

Basically, you should go read them yesterday!

PS Disclaimer. I used to run a Veryan listserve in the really old days. So I am biased. But she is a rare author I am rereading 20 years later and still love.

PPS If you are a Veryan fan, come talk to me!

#books #book recs #patricia veryan #romance #romance novels #georgian romance novels #romance books

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horrible-monstrosity · 4 years ago

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inhales

My youtube history needs a fucking exorcism

That aside, what is it about this game that has people sucking its god damn cock so god damned hard? There's been like ninety the fuck billion "reject reality because sad and something something dreamworld" works already and I'm sure at least some of them have to be better than this undercooked pile of crap. And I keep seeing these fuckloads of Tumblr rejects praising it because "I'm a worthless brokebrain who doesn't want to put any effort at all into improving myself and this gaem validates my mental illness!!! uwu" ... That second point probably goes toward explaining the first, huh.

Also, when was it actually established that Funny had amnesia, and wasn't just refusing to face reality? I feel like it would have gone a lot differently if he straight up didn't remember it- like, he might have actually been able to leave the house normally, and been somewhat fine until something "triggered" his memories and sent him back into despair and running back home. And he just never shows any sign of not knowing something he should. Plus that takes a lot of agency away from him. Instead of him choosing to fight reality rather than face it, his brain just decides it for him, until he bumbles his way into not doing that anymore. Not that its actually possible to get a read of anything reasonable when the game has him just sitting there dead while everyone else argues about his dead sister and NO ONE THINKS THIS IS UNUSUAL. Like they're actually just expecting him to sit there and take it. They neither try to pull him into a conversation that very much concerns him nor think there's something horribly wrong with him just acting like a dead sack of potatoes while they discuss something that very much concerns him. It doesn't even come off like they're trying to be considerate, there's just... nothing. That's a problem throughout the whole game honestly, he just bumbles around in both the dream world and real world until he just kind of decides for no reason to face the real world. You know, it probably would help if the character you're deeply psychoanalizing isn't at the same time a generic-ass mute cipher character.

and let's talk about the dreamworl- despite failing to properly parallel za tweezt, it bothers to autistically parallel things inthe real worl that don't matter and that no one, audience or mori/funny alike, have any reason to care about. oh, ber is kergy, vance is van fogey, wow who fuck cares who the fuck even are these people to him? Having cunt princess, spacecuck and the sproutfucks be consoomer shit is also dumb as internally demonstrated by the game store having to inexplicably be some shitty outdated retro store to handwave funny knowing these characters when he hadn't left the house in four years. It's such a cheap and vapid form of parallelism, too- these things don't mean anything except muh clinging to childhood. And it makes shit that just doesn't have a parallel in the real world stand out like a sore thumb as well- like, what the fuck is Pluto? What's the job subplot supposed to mean? What the absolute fuck is th whale vore chapter?Why princesscunt try to marry hurro? does this have something to do with his relationship with murry? was omorashi concerned about one of them being stolen from him by the other? Naw, it's just because they're both single-point existences who do something very vaguely in line with their surface-level characteristics. Princess is cunt female and hurroo attractive male, so she wants his cock (in a childish g-rated way because muh clinging to childhood because muh trauma). As a connoseiur of metaphorical/parallel weirdshit (meguca and Kuuchuu Buranko fuck yeah) I'm seriously fucking offended by this poorly-constructed surface level fucking shit, put more effort into your goddamn metaphorical weirdfuckshit, this goes for you too eggfucks I have to wonder what the fuck omorashicat was doing that this shit took years to develop. it feels like she just did everything linearly and then just got to the end and was like OH FUCK SHIT GOTTA WRITE A CONCLUSION NOW JUST PUT SOMETHING IN RIGHT NOW FUCK.

By the way, why did Funny need to be told about hHuuro's nickname being sandwich rather than anything worthwhile? He knew about it before retreating to the dreamworl, so it didn't happen after he cut contact, so did he never wonder about it while he was friends with them? He never saw Huuuro deepthroating a fucklong sandwich? And why the fuck was whatsname prompted to suddenly tell Funny about it again? It was literally, like, nothing. Just like the nickname thing itself being nothing outside of HA HA FUNNY WACKY SANDWICH RANDOM LULZ fuck off

Oh you know what else fucking sucks, that random subplot about reul luif suck, you can't be chef on the side because be doktor? Like first off, why the fuck are Hero's parents forcing him to become a doctor? They're vaguely hispanic, not, you know... asian. Race jokes aside, you'd think him changing track to wanting to be doktor would have had something to do with Mari, the very important person in his life who fucking died- maybe her death made him want to save other people, maybe it was some dream of hers he decided to carry on. But no it's just some random unrelated "my parents are randomly dicks who decided to destroy my own life dreams for their personal satisfaction and I let them :)" shit. And then there's the matter of this theme/plot thread just being brought up once to generate misery and never again, never being connected to anyhing either. All it really does is force Kel to look like an immature retard who thinks dreams are a thing that matters, lol loser, not like Aubey who bla bl abl abl ahla bkablabalabba And don’t tell me this is what the job dream plot was supposed to represent, because there’s no correlation. Hero was actually quite fulfilled being sharkmang’s gopher/cocksucker until friendship came up, and everyone else’s problems were just childishness. It’s nothing Actually there's another thing, there's an odd undercurrent of characters being just a little bit... too immature for what they're supposed to be. Hero says he still thinks about Mari everyday and he cri everitiem, but... it's been four years, he's a grown-ass adult now, this was a teenage love interest. I'm not saying he needs to flat out get over it, no fucking shit, but he mourns like a child... or like a child's idea of mourning someone. Brazil's caretaker when he cadets sudoku, too, acts like an angsty teen or something. Like, you're presumably a professional at this, you've never had some troubled ward self-harm or die or anything? Who the fuck even was this woman in the end? I don't know whether it's a case of the characters being written as too immature or more like the writing itself is too immature to handle it, but it's... off.

and one moooore thiiing- there's a scene manry skipped over and never got back to, possibly because he was getting tired of this game's shit even if he still liked it in the end, but the comments covered it- after Mary's death, Hero shut himself up in his room and cried for a year straight, basically Omori's shut-in thing but a bit different. At some point Kel comes in to get him and he lashes out and makes his little bro cry/hurts him or something, and the parents come running in. Ok, fine so far, but then it gets a bit weird... at first I actually misread the comment, and thought the parents had come in and ignored Hero and just comforted Kel, and that's what snapped Hero out of his misery. That seems like it makes sense, right? The parents would care more about the younger, more impressionable child, especially if he's been hurt, and especially if they’d been neglecting the older one nayway. It's got a weird undercurrent of Hero finally realising that his own parents don't give a fuck about his misery after a year of uninterupted crying and accepting that is a good thing because it makes him go become doktor, but that's in line with some other... weird shit in the writing, including said plotline of Hero being forced into being a doctor by his parents in the first place. But actually what happened was, after Hero violenced on poor Kel, the parents... rushed in and suddenly flipped a switch so they only cared about Hero, and it was on Hero to show some compassion for Kel. Whut? The parents, after not giving a damn shit about their miserable older son for a year, and after he's (unintentionally, but they wouldn't know that) violenced their innocent younger son, they suddenly only give a shit about the older. Instead of, you know, giving a damn about both sons or something. This isn't even internally consistent, let alone thematically coherent or meaningful in anyway. It's just confusing. I don't know, maybe the commentor fucked the scene up, but it's weird.

fuck this my brain needs a fucking exorcism

and also finally him ending up in the hospital where his friends can visit him is kind of cheating the moving deadline and it really undermines the whole point of the game up until this point lmao fuck this shit i’m out

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wanna-17 · 7 years ago

Text

sisterzoned ft. kang daniel (pt.1)

summary: you’re sisterzoned by your crush the moment you two meet, will you ever have a chance?

length: 1.7k

a/n: so i was cleaning my room and came across my journal that i wrote in when i was at the young age of T H I R T E E N and legit all i wrote about was about this crush i had that completely sisterzoned me within one minute of meeting r i p m e. and you can say i’ve never had a serious crush after that lmao and then i was getting all angsty so i decided to write a scenario based on it its super tragic and like i have not talked to him since like 6 years ago HAHAHAH but I DECIDED TO WRITE ON DANIEL so let me know what you think of this!!

part 2 is here

your parents had signed you up to some sort of “cultural learning” camp that went for 2 weeks without telling you

you were from busan and the trip was to seoul during the school holidays

and for you being away from home for 2 weeks was a long time

and on the camp it was gonna be full of other high school students who were probably forced to go as well lmao

luckily your best friend doyeon was also going as your parents had discussed about this behind your backs

so here you were at the airport with a massive luggage and your best friend by your side

and you guys were surrounded by about 30 or so strangers who you’d never seen before and most looked just as distressed

there were also some adults that were like “leaders” for the camp but they were more like middle aged parents

you sighed

the leaders started marking the roll

“kang daniel?”

no one responded or raised their hand so the teacher moved on to the next name which was yours as you were also a kang

when she nearly finished marking the roll a boy ran to the teacher and he seemed to be breathless probably having just run in to the airport

“sorry i’m late!” chirped the boy

he was carrying a big duffel bag and held a weird looking racket in his hand

you couldn’t see his face but you couldn’t help but think that he had such a wide back and wide shoulders lmao

he talked to the leader for a bit and joined this other tall boy who was by himself and they gave each other a bro hug

finally the roll was done and everyone began to check in, then go through security etc.

finally everyone was at the boarding gate and there was still an hour til boarding time so there was time to mingle and get to know people

and at this point you and doyeon had not spoken to anyone at all as you were both really tired and ceebs

you glanced around curiously looking at those around you and seeing if there was anyone else that looked friendly that you and doyeon might be able to approach to make friends

your eyes landed and lingered on the boy who’d come in late

now that you could see his face he seemed really familiar and cute

“hey doyeon is it just me or does that guy who came in late look familiar to you?”

doyeon also looked over at him and after a few seconds she slapped your arm

“OMG Y/N I’M PRETTY SURE THATS KANG DANIEL FROM OUR SCHOOL IN THE YEAR ABOVE” shrieked doyeon excitedly

“really omg the basketball player???” you asked

doyeon nodded in response, “what the heck is he doing on this camp”

you didn’t notice that you and doyeon were actually pretty loud and daniel and his friend had heard you so they walked over to you guys

you and doyeon looked at each other in embarrassment and you wanted to dig a hole

“hey guys i think i heard you guys say that i go to your school” said daniel smiling as he approached you and doyeon

“yeah!” replied doyeon “we didn’t mean to be creepy you just looked familiar”

“that’s cool so you guys go to xx high school as well?”

“yeah! except this girl is transferring schools” replied doyeon as she patted you on the back sadly

the thing was your dad had gotten a new job on the outskirts of busan so your family was moving there

and now that the popular basketball player from the year above was talking to you you were slightly upset about transferring :((

“oh what that’s such a shame” said daniel

and he looked at you with a bunny smile and wow your heart started racing and it’ll be while since you felt that way

the friend who was with daniel introduced himself

“hey i’m ong seongwoo, not hong seongwoo not wong seongwoo but ong seongwoo” said seongwoo emphasising the ong i had to

you guys all introduced yourselves and seongwoo offered for you guys to all wait together as where they were sitting had a lot of space

daniel came over and helped you and doyeon take the luggage

you’d already started pulling your luggage but he took it from you

and you couldn’t help but be touched by such a small gesture

you guys all talked and got to know each other better

and it was cool how you guys all went to the same school

and honestly you became really sad at the idea of having to transfer schools…….you wanted to know daniel more honestly speaking

and maybe you guys would talk at school if you didn’t have to transfer

when it was time for boarding you ended up standing next to daniel and you were a little nervous bc before it was in a group so everyone was talking to each other and over each other

“hey y/n you know what i realised we have the same last name” said daniel

“yeah we do”

“you know i’m an only child and i’ve always wanted a younger sister and you’re just so small and cute so can i adopt you as my younger sister?” asked daniel

you were surprised at the request but you agreed happily

he said i was cute you kept repeating to yourself as you smiled

you were happy that he was going to call you sister bc that meant he wanted to be close to you and you couldn’t help but be happy at that

the funny thing was tho his older brotherly instincts turned on immediately as you didn’t think he would ACTUALLY treat you like a younger sister

he always called you sister or sis in this really cute tone

on the plane when you couldn’t finish the food he helped you eat it and ruffled your hair

he ALWAYS ruffled your hair and you loved it

when he found out you liked kpop he’d call you sistarrrrr and tease you about it

which was cute but annoying

during the camp he always cared for you and asked how you slept

he sometimes even bought you drinks and snacks and gave you medicine when you were unwell

one time when walking on the sidewalk a car passed by pretty closely and he made you walk on the inside

one time the elevator was super packed but you really needed to get in so you were kinda squished against daniel sort of against the wall while you awkwardly staring at his chest

one time everyone at camp visited some old building and you got a lot of dirt and dust on your jacket. when you guys came out daniel was like: “hey sis you got your jacket dirty i’ll get it off for you” and he just patted it all of straight away

one time everyone was taking a group photo and just before the camera clicked he’d put his arm around you

one time when walking around hongdae you’d stopped to pick up a call from your mum and daniel was the only one who patiently waited for you on the sidewalk

you just couldn’t figure him out bc honestly speaking he was such a nice guy and treated every girl really well

so those “moments” probably didn’t mean anything to him bc they were little things but they meant so much to you

but then it wasn’t like he waited for every girl??

you were an older sibling at home and were always the one watching out for others

but now that someone was watching out for you made you feel really special and loved

and he called you his sister which should be a clear sign of the sisterzone??

but you couldn’t help but think that maybe he did like you?? bc everything he did confused you

another time at night a few people were gathered playing the pocky game

daniel had the pocky and jisung spun the bottle……………and it landed on you

you were frozen and your mind was blank as you didn’t know how to react

you looked up and met eyes with daniel…and well they looked a bit hopeful? he was laughing and his eyes turned into crescents but they looked kinda hopeful

everyone else was cheering and chanting

before you could make a decision another guy jaehwan who was super hyper and getting impatient did it instead

you sat there in a daze, half regretting it bc you wanted to have your first kiss with someone you liked and you were sure you liked daniel

but you were scared and a nervous wreck

honestly though you liking daniel was a gradual process there wasn’t a defining moment on when you started to like him

but you knew when was the confirming moment of you liking daniel

the moment itself was pretty stupid because it wasn’t related to you but it made your heart melt

it was when everyone was at a two storey restaurant and suddenly daniel had to go downstairs

you were curious as to where he went so you excused yourself and went downstairs

and you saw daniel with an elderly couple which you soon found out were his grandparents

you observed the way he interacted with them and how tender he was with them

most 16 year olds who were the star basketball player of their year would not want to be seen in public with their relatives

but here was daniel, clinging onto his grandma and talking to her with the most admirable smile

you couldn’t help but feel you heart beat

a family oriented guy plus a nice personality and good looks what more did you need?

you smiled to yourself as you headed back upstairs

soon the camp came to an end and you enjoyed the 2 weeks so much

they were in fact the best 2 weeks of your life bc you’d met daniel

also by the end of the camp literally everyone was questioning whether you two were a thing or not and he always just gave a laugh and brushed it off as he said “look at y/n she’s my awesome sister”

at the airport he’d given you a big hug and you swear it was slightly longer than the hugs he gave to the other girls

he’d said to you “thanks for being the best little sister” and he’d ruffled your hair

you nodded and couldn’t even come up with a coherent answer because you wanted the past 2 weeks to go on forever

you didn’t want to not see daniel again

you wished you weren’t transferring schools

on camp daniel had whined a lot about you transferring schools

after the camp you and daniel became facebook friends and talked a few times

but you honestly were super awkward online and didn’t know what to talk about so after a month or so you and daniel lost contact even though there was the title of facebook friends

5 years went on like that

the school you had transferred to was an all girls school and you barely had any contact with any other guys

so daniel was basically the first and last guy you had really liked he was like your first love

but then again it was just a fleeting camp crush right?

during this time you did see some pictures of daniel on facebook from time to time

but that was it you never initated to talk to him on facebook because you were too scared and embarrassed to do so

plus you were sure you had moved on from him thats what you thought girl

but one day as you were mindlessly scrolling through facebook on the bus you came across a picture

of daniel kissing a girls cheek

and you suddenly felt your heart tear into pieces

and you didn’t even know why

ok lmao idk anymore HAHAHA let me know what you guys think!! i’ll have part 2 coming soon hopefully and the remaining of my first meeting au! series :)

masterlist is here

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shenmendes · 7 years ago

Note

four ships

four rp ships:

1. i’ll start with SHAYLA (played by you of course) & AIDEN bc they were one of my first major ships. i mean i’ve had ships before but they were my first major major one where i was like freaking out over them and shit. plus aiden is one of my favorite characters i have and the character i’ve had the longest and he’s the most destructive little shit out there so the fact that he and shayla been through soooo much and the fact that they have had ups and downs, she’s seen some dark sides of him, he’s seen them in her, it’s been getting close to 2 years that they have interacted with each other, we didn’t rush into anything at all with them, hell they still aren’t official official yet, and they’ve just had so much work on them. i like them a lot bc it’s one of those ships that doesn’t just focus on the relationship aspect, it focusing on the character development or character failures way more. (which i’m trash for bc in real life relationships are a much “stranger” area for me and character growth of “degrowth” is super interesting to me and these two let me see it a lot.) then to the less serious stuff IT’S SHAIDEN the creators of the SHAIDENATORS! ok! they are the right amount of painful, angsty, cute (gross), and hot as fuck.

2. PAYNE & IVY (played by @alaskamuses ) these two are so fucked up they’re actually the definition of a dysfunctional toxic relationship. these two are another one that has a lot of growth character wise and they aren’t always focused on relationship stuff. it’s kinda like a mix of their character growth cuts into their relationship growth. idk if that made sense but i like that about them. they are one of my favorites bc people think they know how harsh i can be with the pain my characters bring into relationships (bc legit i’m the worst at them so all my characters have to be garbage at it too) but tash has been beat down time and time again with the fuck up that is payne keller or maybe i should say ivy have been beat down time and time again bc he legit gives her one second of hope and then pulls it away from her while simultaneously throwing her off a cliff and then shouting from the top “just so you know there’s killer sharks in that water i just threw you into!” but legit this ship is the most toxic thing ever but i love it so much. if i have an idea for something super horrible and painful for a ship to go through i legit just go to tash and be like “ok payne and ivy” or she does the same to me bc we just know how painful they are and with each other there are no limits and there is no cuteness or happy shit. we don’t know how to give them happiness at all. (what is happiness???) but anyways i don’t even know if i’m doing this tag right i’m just talking nonsense. ohhhh shit story of my life.

3. VERONICA (played by @mjwriites ) & TRISTAN !!!! i hate making groups but the best part about making one of the only groups that i made that i actually liked was the fact that not only did amazing characters come from that group like tristan and veronica but the best ship that’ll never find happiness also was formed. they are the most unlucky motherfuckers ever, they are both horrible human beings, and to top things off they almost have a cute story but actually don’t at all. the fact that they’ve known each other since high school and they have been best friends since then and the fact that he had/has a giant crush on her (his best friend) but she never saw him that way until they got older is the verge of a super cute story but then you add in the cheating and the sister and the drugs and the fact that they are super sexual even tho that should be in like the fuck yes category but anyways all that sweet goes out the window and they get so fucked up. which we all know i like way more. ok but really these two hit my soul and AGAIN another ship that focuses a LOT on character development and how that effects the relationship rather than just the relationship being the main plot point and i fucking love that which is probably why these are the ships i’m picking but ANYWAYS! can i just say that i get pushed so much (in a good way) to write better when i’m writing with marie? and it just makes its so much better to me. like these two can be the most awful human beings ever but reading marie’s stuff for veronica or the other way around it shows all the heart of these soulless broken characters and it makes me love them even more.

4. ABEL & ELLE (played by @wndrlndaf ) i was totally gonna try and avoid talking about any ship i have with emily bc she’s actually trash and i hate her but here we are. even though i spell abel’s name as able 99.9% of the time and it might be hard to believe i love him or anything involved with him because of that, it’s not true. this is another ship (all these ships actually have been ships) that i’ve had for awhile now. some of them over a year or breaking in on a year now. okay but i love these two so much. i love the characters apart and then i love them together too bc they’re kinda unlike anything else i have. they’re all rough and tough but together they are super soft (even tho they’d never admit to that) and i weirdly love it. for once i’m playing the much softer character which i also weirdly like bc he’s not soft but he’s a little more hopeful if that makes sense so to rephrase, for once i’m playing a more hopeful character. these two are funny too and an actual mess. who doesn’t like a ship that hangs all over each other and then when they aren’t hanging on each other they make each other jealous? who doesn’t like a relationship where the dude has to hold the girl back and carry her away when she wants to fight people? who doesn’t like a ship that the girl steals all the guys clothes and then gets mad at the guy for not having enough clothes at his place for her to steal? bc i know i love it and i can say this about emily too, she’s such a good writer and she does push me. she’s very descriptive and can i also say that she’s the headcanon queen? she throws those things out like hot cakes. i’m pretty sure that’s a saying so i’m going with it.

#i really wanted to add quinn&zayn and jason&kate tbh #and i was gonna but this is already super long ugh i hate myself #ask #glgofrps #ask meme: answered

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viichar · 8 years ago

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Tagged by @sukkanen to answer a few questions about my OCs!!! Thank u i am honored LOL now lets get into it

Some OC questions

1. Your first OC ever? i had this “RPC” who was just a naruto oc and her name was Kiki and she was rlly like over the top happy go lucky but had an angsty backstory bc i was emo and she was like blind in one eye but she covered her good eye with hair?? and she was an orphan I shipped her w like 6 different naruto characters #noshame

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs? Charlotte is definitely my fave honestly !!! Second fave is Hayden tho (her brother, but actually hes my oldest current OC )

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? YES!! And i haven’t used them bc im trash but i love them,,, i promise,,,,,, i just dont know what to do w them yet,,, 4. A character you rarely talk about? I have a lot of OCs like this, but the ones that are still alive are Luna and Lulu who r best friends, and i made them w my friend @papperie as like background friend OCs for hers!! 5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? ...this is a double edged sword bc ofc i want my favorite OC, Charlotte, to b most popular, but then she’s gonna get reinterpreted constantly and like i wouldnt be allowed to have her exactly how i want her? 6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related? UHHH most of my OCs actually are related but if im not careful Aureli and Charlotte can start to look similar

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories? YEP that’d be all of them!!! if i dont make a story for them they die inevitably 8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here! I used to,,,, mostly as Hayden!!! I miss RPing haha but i havent done it in SO LONG 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

NO i would b so emo,,, once they are mine they’re mine !! altho ive considered making adoptables 10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Dont have any LOLLL all my OCs are slice of life tbh so they end up being very casual, ALTHO currently im in the middle of designing a princess so that could very well change soon! 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? AURELI,,,, mischevious sunshine princess, shes kinda oblivious to things but she likes causing play trouble and embarrassing her gf 12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot SARA, i love her she belongs to @quillsareoverrated, id add more but im 2 lazy 2 draw but like name wise I love Fordic and Laura ( from sukka and spacey )

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

AURELI, also Hayden, but he just causes his own trouble and ruins his own damn life which isnt what i think u mean LOL

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh maybe Hayden again, he did end up running away from home and then going into shady business to survive and then he tried to die and failed //shrugs

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people? YA I DO but then they get bored or like dont rlly care abt my OCs and like,, its hard to try and talk abt your OCs when ppl clearly r not interested 16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? PROBABLY LULU, shes the only OC who i even think COULD be good at biology,,, 17. Any OC OTPs? YESYESYES Charlotte and her wife Hayden and his husband,,, AURELI AND SARA,,,, Summer and Vi I HAVE A LOT MORE 18. Any OC crackships? ya,,,, I like shipping Lulu with Claire and Luna tbhh ALSO ALEX i ship her lots ALSO I ship Charlotte with everyone who will LET ME

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) Hayden and Charlotte, theyre so old and like theyve evolved so much, but especially Hayden who is still like..down in the dumps and bad at everything and like extremely dependent on his husband and like....i relate but every day he tries his damn best even tho its hard to see if he’s getting anywhere,,, he tries his best and i should too he means a lot to me,,, hes been w me like 8 yrs

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)? no lol all my OCs are tone deaf LOL which is funny bc i love singing 21. Your most artistic OC UHHH NO CLUE,, Charlotte is a top notch ballerina but shes not creative really... Maybe Luna?? Shes a cute model and i think shes a fine arts major iirc 22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? YA,,, definitely Charlotte, people tend to see her as a character who is cold but opens up when u get to know her, but not rlly shes rather cold LOLL she just has a soft spot for her wife 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like? HAYDEN,,,, he used to be so rebellious and like angsty and now he literally just sucks at everything but tries to be good ALSO charlotte because she literally was just Hayden as a girl and now look at her,,,,, 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why? Sevastyan!!! He’s only half mine, but im ready to marry him he is big and buff and TALL AND BROAD and boring as hell but thats ok 25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?) Lelija! Hayden and Charlotte’s younger sister who gets picked on by lit all of the siblings besides Hayden and Adeleine ( So like 8/10 siblings ), shes chub and unkempt like me

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? Nope, there are things i changed bc they felt over done or they were just old and i was done but never against my will? After all theyre MY OCs im not going to change anything i dont want to??? 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Nope!! Maybe by movies or comics, but not songs. 28. Your most dangerous OC? UHHH Victoria (Charlottes wife) could fucking kill a man LOLL and would for her wife 29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? Charlotte bc she thinks she is tough and doesnt need any help with anything, this is how she dies probably 30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? HAYDEN,,, Shoving them rapidly into his closet when company comes over bc he is mortified but they make him feel better Unsecretly tho i bet Aurelia has 67789767897668976 covering the bed and no one can stop her 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) Charlotte would have an annoying fitspo blog w like minimalist pics of nice apartments and cute girls tbh I bet Aureli would have a blog dedicated to cute stuffed animals, rooms filled with pink and white furniture.blankets, and tons of lingerie and cringey quotes abt love 32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? HMM... TBH Hayden would be the best bc he would cry the entire time and u would relate to him and try ur best with subpar skills LOLL for ACTUAL horror tho Probably Victoria, shes kickass and wont lose, she’d be OP 33. Your shyest OC? Lelija! After being picked on for years its no wonder she’s shy, especially talking about something she likes bc she doesnt want to be made fun of for having interests 34. Do you have any twin characters? Hayden and Charlotte! I made hayden first, and honestly most of the time theyre in seperate verses, but they ARE twins if theyre in the same verse! And Charlotte is older she’ll have you know. 35. Any sibling characters? Hayden and Charlotte have 8 younger siblings LMAO Aureli also has an older sister named Aurora! 36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? YEP YEP YEP Charlotte and Haydens wife/husband Lulu and Luna are friends of my other friends OCs Aureli is in love with Sara!! I prefer to make OCs in pairs with other people!! I love it !!!!! 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

AURELIIII shes a robot girl!!! She can do pretty much anything other girls can but shes a robot

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? Charlotte. No question. After all she’s one of the best ballerinas in the world in her verse so BUT Also April and Summer can dance p well!! More contemporary!! 39. Introduce any character you want here is Lulu i keep mentioning!!! its been so long since i drew her i kinda forgot but shes best friends with Luna and is engaged!!! Not to luna unfortunately but dw Luna is doing good too

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share! Not really!!! I have a bad memory so LMAO even if i did i cant remember them on command

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!) YES AND I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME, most of them r on twitter tho ( This one is by Sukkanen on tumblr !!! I LOST MY SHIT,,, )

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? probably hayden, he loves stories and storytelling and religion so

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess Short w round faces and big bright eyes and long long hair, always girls tbh, i know who i am and im ashamed LOL, also girls who are bratty !!

44. Something you like about your OCs in general i like how hard they work, all my OCs basically do their best and try their hardest and like they stumble, or sometimes just suck at what theyre doing and dont get better but like i value that 45. A character you no longer use? the first one i drew, KIKI, she fucking embarrasses me but every time i try to revamp her i cant bc im attatched. 46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly? YES,,,, EVERYONE,,,, I LOVE TO MAKE THEM SUFFER 47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? YEP, LOTS OF MY FRIENDS 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure My OCs are honestly all assholes besides aureli so shes defaulted even tho she loves mischief 49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes Hayden 50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want If you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9 OCs are magical and every character u love was someones OC at one point. I am rlly attached to my OCs and afraid to put info of them out there because i dont want people to like..take them and make these connections i cant control but like then i see other ppls OCs and i want to!!! SHOW PEOPLE!! Its a weird line, but i love OCs and i wanna know abt more of them!!!!

#yetanotherocmeme #OCs #text.png #LONG READ #im not tagging anyone but pls do it if ur up for it!!!!

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haiyuta · 8 years ago

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Wild Flower Pt 1 || Jisung

Group:Nct

Member:Jisung

Genre:Soulmate!Au , angst, fluff,

Word count: 1.7K

Requested: Pleasepleasepleaseplease do a Jisung (NCT) x Fem! Reader? like a Soulmate Au mixed with Cinderella?? like her adopted sisters love Jisung and tease Reader for her Soulmate mark and they think that they are his soulmate but when they find out Reader and Jisung they try to separate them?? Major fluff and angst? thank you in advance~ 💛💚💙💜

A/n:okay so this will be in two parts so expect lots of angsty stuff next. I wrote and wrote and was like its already so long. *cries. Its okay since I love this request. I feel I need to put more of Jisung in the next part since hell be like 70% of the next part. I was going to do actual prince!Jisung in a royalty au but I decided not to. Thanks for requesting this was really cool to write Next part will be better I promise.

You always wanted to believe that fairy tales were real. That one day a handsome guy would lift up his sleeve showing it off his identical mark. It would happen so quickly he would reveal his tattoo to you. Then you would show your identical one. And true love would bloom and he could take you away from this household.

He would be kind just like your father. Even though your step mother wasn't your mother. You understood he needed to find love again.

You stared at your mark on your inner wrist a medium size small flower. Not a roses or anything fancy just a small wildflowers. It was colored with a vibrant red and a pale green stem. You would always stare at it. It would tingle sometimes as well which would shock you.

You smiled at your soulmate mark it was so nice to just feel it. Knowing another person would feel it as well. Touch connection was important it basically show your soulmate you were alive.

"Looking at that ugly thing again" a nasty voice said from your door frame. You rolled your eyes looking over to see your two step sisters or you like to call them twiddle dee and twiddle dumb.

"And why are you in my room" you asked them cocking a eyebrow.

They smirked at the same time which was a little creepy "Mother needs to see you" one of them said walking out the room. You sighed going back to looking at the soulmate mark. After your dad married their mother you got to know them as devils. Always insulting your mark commenting that you will never find your soulmate. Just annoying devils.

Sighing you got up from your spot to see your step mother holding a long list "Please go to the store I need all this" she said handing you some money and a list. Your step mother wasn't to bad but she didn't stop her terrible two daughters. And did favor them more than you.

You didn't argue with her. It was a blessing getting out this house anyway. Picking up your jacket you left the building climbing down the stairs.

Walking down the street you had bags of food to full for your arms. You glided pass people as you got closer to your home. Then someone clipped your shoulder making you stumble and drop some bags.

"Gosh darn it" you said trying to pick up the fallen bag. "Here let me help" a stranger said. You quickly looked up to see a mess of dirty blond hair. He was busy packing the food up. You were breathless at his appearance he seemed so prince like.

"Are you okay" he asked. You shook your head probably blushing at this point "sorry thanks for helping me" you said giving you a warm smile.

"Here is your home far I can help you" he said. You paused and gave him a skeptical look. The teen smile awkwardly "Not in a weird way" he said rubbing his neck awkwardly. You grinned at his awkward yet cute nature.

"Sure thank you" you said handing him the load of food. "My house isn't to far" you said walking with him. As you walked with this stranger he became less of one as time went on. You found out his name was Park Jisung.

Adding to his handsome features he was also funny. Making puns and jokes left and right. Soon you already reached your home. "Thank you" you said when you reached your home. Knocking on the door softly to alert your step mother your were home.

Opening the door revealed your step sister she went from her usual non caring face to a shocked expression. "Thanks" you mumbled going inside with the few things you had. Looking back she just kept staring at him.

"Um here you go" Jisung said handing her the bag.. She just took them and nodded "Thank you Jisung" she said. He smiled awkwardly waving bye to you as he left.

"oh my gosh" she squeaked dropping the food. You rolled your eyes at the reaction "why are you acting like this" you asked sliding by her to put some things away.

"Why you ask, you just brought Prince Jisung here and I cant breath" she said fanning her red face. "Prince" you repeated the word. "Yes Prince every girl in Seoul knows who he is" she said.

Suddenly she snapped her head at you "How did you get him to help you" she sneered at you. You rolled your eyes "well he actually bumped into me and offer to help me" you said causally. Not thinking much about the situation. She was acting like he was a real prince. You mean he did have a aura around him. A aura of overwhelming looks and personality. Like he was a class president all the time.

"Are you talking about Prince Jisung" your other step sister chimed in from her room. "Yeah ugly mark over here is so lucky" she said.

The two sat side by side with each other. "Don't even think about going after Jisung he already has a line of people waiting" she said.

You frowned at the insult "You mean his soulmate" you corrected her. Only soulmates really could be with one another. It was like there personalities were destined to be.

"Well we are apart of Jisung official fan club and haven't gotten a clear view of his mark yet so no one knows" she retorted back at you.

"I bet I'm his soulmate my mark would click with his" she said revealing her finger mark. It was a small puzzle piece mark. Which was cool you had to admit.

"Of course its not you his hand is bare he of course he has mine" she said revealing her ankle mark. A hard place to spot but at least it was uniqe unlike yours. "And Y/n stay away from him" she said.

You shook your head pushing down your sleeve to hide your soulmate mark "Keep believing that" you said exciting the scene before they had a full blown argument. You just laid down on your bed staring at the your soulmate Mark. It was warm like always. That brought a smile to your face.

You watched your mark as it warmed up, not caring about your step sisters say. This mark was beautiful to you.

Well you didn't follow your step sisters orders and got even closer to Jisung. He was everywhere you really couldn't escape him. He caught you after school, and offered to hang out which you didn't think was a bad idea since Jisung helped you with your food.

Everyday you would notice little things about him. His large group of friends to his smile that showed so much gums. To his small frame. You noted a lot about him. He was like a prince that much you would have to agree. His young features, smooth flawless skin, with a little mole under his lip. His blond hair has turned into brown that still made him look amazing.

He helped you study for test at local coffee shops, which you never asked for he just did it. You were always blushing near him it was rather embarrassing to eye lock with him. He would give you a large eye smile, it was adorable.

Jisung was kind. smart and well liked you found he was total package to say the least. You were surprised he even want to hang out with you more. Meeting his close friends which were all kind. They all thought you were his soulmate since he doesn't have many other female friends.

His friends consisted of a group of boys like him with variety of personalities. You especially liked Haechan since he was the funniest. With a touch of savage.

Jisung soulmate mark was what you wanted to see. Somewhere in your heart you needed see with your own eyes. His body was bare and pale his wrist clean and his ankles also. Everyday with him you wanted to see his soulmate mark more. Even asking his friends about him.

You always wondered why he never shown you was it ugly?. Was it in a awkward place?Did he not have one?

You decided to ask him on the way back from school. Walking home from separate school he always waited by your gate to walk you half way home. You told him he didn't have to do it but he did anyway. He was such a gentleman.

"Jisung what will you do when you meet your mate" you asked calmly walking next to them. He sighed looking forward "You mean soulmate" he corrected you.

You rolled your eyes "yeah that" you said. Jisung smiled "Hug them, care for them, I don't know smile the rest of my life" he said looking over at you.

You shook your head grabbing your sleeve "Well I bet they will be lovely" you said. He probably has already seen your mark. You were slightly embarrassed to show him again.

Jisung glanced at it for only a second "I bet they will be" he said smiling kindly. You inner frowned at his reaction. He didn't seem to care about your mark at all.

He and you continued to talk and walk down the street. Talking it felt so comfortable with him, but right now you were dishearten by still not getting the courage to ask him. He seemed very private on the subject of soulmates.

Unknown to you your step sisters not to far away watching the exchange happen. "What are they" she said looking at the two of you.

"Sis look" she said pointing to her Jisung fan club group chat. A picture revealed Jisung washing off his wrist revealing a tattoo that matched yours. A red flowers on his inner right wrist matching yours.

"I-I" she strutted out in disbelief. The older sister sighed flipping her hair. "Its okay I know Y/n , if I make up one lie I can tumble this relationship before it starts" she said looking at the phone.

As you unknowing walked into the your home waving bye to Jisung.

#nct #nct scenarios #nct jisung #kpop #kpop scenarios

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕

#mad he wanna end it #hmm i wonder why bitch #this was good

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artificialqueens · 8 years ago

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What the Neighbours Say (New Year, New AU) (Trixya) – Ellen Thwoorp

Summary: Trixie moves into a new neighbourhood with her good for very few things husband, ready to begrudgingly start her life as a housewife. That’s when she meets Katya, her bubbly next door neighbour, who understands her situation even more than she knows. They both make discoveries but do they have the strength to pursue them?

A/N: Suburban housewife AU. This is more angsty than I would normally write but I liked this idea. I wanted to explore what might happen in an AU in which they’re not single when they meet. This also has a fair amount of smut. Also this is set in the 90s (I don’t know why thats where my brain sets stuff all the time). Happy endings for life.

(TW for unhappy sex (if that makes sense?), could be seen as dub con and infidelity)

“Either you are one of those dolls come to life to dominate our neighbourhood or you have a fabulous aesthetic.” A voice said from behind her, making Trixie jump and almost drop the box she was holding. “Oh sorry.” The woman apologised, as Trixie put the box at her feet for safe keeping. The last thing she wanted to do was break her collection of vintage Barbies, no matter how happy it would make her husband, Nick.

“It’s alright.” Trixie smiled. “And to answer, maybe I’m both.” The stranger laughed.

“You guys moving in?” The blonde woman asked. The first thing Trixie noticed about her was her bright smile, whitened teeth shining at her. The woman was thin but curvy with a sharply angled face that should have been severe looking but managed to come across soft. She was wearing a rather odd looking black and white wrap dress, the pattern clashing with her colourful cardigan.

“Yeah. I’m Trixie.” Trixie introduced herself, straightening the shabby, oversized pink shirt she was wearing. When she’d dressed that morning her mind had only been on not getting any of her clothes she actually liked dirty, she hadn’t even considered what she would look like if she met their new neighbours. She must look a mess to these people, she’d never lived anywhere so expensive before. She probably stuck out like a sore thumb.

She and Nick had been married for just over a year, after dating for a year. Some people said they moved too quickly but Trixie had been too smitten with the idea of being married to listen, excited to finally get the wedding she’d always dreamed of.

“Katya. I live next door.” The other woman introduced herself, reaching over the white picket fence to hold her hand out to Trixie.

“Oh. That’s nice.” Trixie smiled, wiping her hand on her cropped jeans before taking her hand to shake it. “Nick Hun, come say hello to our neighbour.” Nick looked up and gave a half-hearted nod before turning back to arguing on his cell phone. Trixie swallowed, trying to battle the embarrassed heat that wanted to fill her cheeks. “He’s not normally like that. Work and all.”

“It’s ok. I have one like that at home too.” Katya replied, with more understanding in her eyes that Trixie was comfortable with. Trixie shook herself, letting go of the other woman’s hand.

“Where are you from?” Trixie asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Novosibirsk in Russia. I moved here just before I married my husband.”

“That’s so interesting.” She smiled enthusiastically. She liked this woman. For once she might actually like her neighbour. She remembered Mrs Eleanor Florence, the mean old lady who used to live next door to her just after she left college. She used to sit on the front porch and watch everyone nosily, eating sunflower seeds by the tonne. She used to knock on Trixie’s door every Halloween and give her a lecture on how to listen out for alien contact.

“Would you like to come over for a drink or something on Monday, once the boys have gone to work? The days can get pretty boring for a live in.” Katya asked casually, leaning against the fence. Trixie blinked in surprise then smiled. She had thought making friends in this neighbourhood would be hard but Katya certainly seemed very friendly.

“Oh, yeah. This will actually be the first time I haven’t had a job in a while. After he got this promotion Nick insisted, so…”

“Andrew, my husband, he’s the same. Insisted on being the bread winner.” Katya shrugged. There was an underly tension that suggested to Trixie that Katya didn’t care for the arrangement but she chose not to think on it too much. “So drinks? I could fill you in on all the gossip, you can’t live on this street without knowing who to avoid?”

“Is here a lot of people to avoid?” Trixie asked, looking around at the other houses, each one basically identical.

“Basically everyone.” Katya laughed, leaning forward as though it was a secret. “Excluding myself of course.”

“Drinks sounds great.”

“Fantastic, I’ll see you tomorrow say twelve? I’ll make lunch.”

“Ok.”

……………

From that first lunch the pair shared they became practically inseparable. They would do everything together from shopping to cooking to spa days. In fact there was only one thing Katya insisted on doing on her own and that was getting her hair done. Trixie had once asked her where she went as she needed a cut and the older woman had clammed up suddenly and spouted some nonsense about her hairdressers being exclusive. Trixie had merely shrugged, Katya was an odd duck so she’d just added it to the long list of Katyaisms that was forming in her head.

She been told off by her husband several times for constantly talking about the other woman, saying she sounded obsessed or something. That had hurt Trixie more than she’d expected it too, perhaps hitting a little too close to home. She’d countered that since he insisted she didn’t work not many things happened to her other than what she did with Katya. Did he expect her to sit and listen to him talk about his day at work without having to return the favour? This had turned into possibly one of the worst arguments they’d ever had, resulting in him sleeping on the sofa and Trixie crying herself to sleep wishing that Katya was there.

Nick wasn’t the only one to notice how much time Trixie was spending with the other woman. Several of the other women in the neighbourhood, a group who all went to get their nails done together and did yoga with their chia lattes, came up to her to warn her. They’d tell her Katya was odd and she always had been. That she didn’t fit in with the community and that Trixie didn’t need to make herself a social outcast. They pressed how important it was to choose the right people to associate with.

Trixie remembered the time Debbie from across the street had come up to the two of them to introduce herself to Trixie. She had completely ignored Katya, enthusing about how pretty Trixie was and how much she liked her hair. She’d then invited her to cocktails with herself and the rest of the Stepford wives, as Katya called them. When Trixie had asked if Katya could come to her face turned sour.

“We don’t really think she’d fit in with us. You’d fit in so well, you’re nice and normal. It’s important when you’re new to choose the right friends.”

Trixie had looked at Katya who wore a mask of indifference although Trixie felt as though she could see something else in her eyes, fear? She was Katya’s only friend here, a fact she could hardly understand. She was funny, kind and so full of energy.

Trixie had looked Debbie straight in the eye and informed her she would be sure to choose the right friends. The triumphant look of Debbie’s face lasted barely five seconds as Trixie took Katya’s arms and continued towards her house, calling for Debbie and her friends to enjoy their cocktails. Katya was quiet for a while after they’d walked away, not speaking until they’d reached the door to her house.

“You should have gone for cocktails, Trixie. Don’t exclude yourself because of me.” She’d said, her voice a mixture of sadness and bitterness.

“If you don’t fit in with them then how on Earth will I?” Trixie had laughed. “We already disagree on one thing.” Katya has simply blinked at her. “I think you’re great.”

Katya had smiled at her so brightly Trixie had thought to get her eyes checked for damage. That night they’d made cake and laughed for hours, leading Trixie to completely forget she even had a husband on his way home from work until ten minutes before her was due to arrive. She rushed out of the house, kissing Katya’s cheek hurriedly, not noticing the blush of Katya’s face.

Katya became the closest friend Trixie had ever had, almost like a sister. That was why the first thing she did when she felt the sadness wash over her was turn up at her door, thankful her husband was away so often.

……………….

“Now tell me what’s wrong.” Katya said gently as she guided Trixie to sit on her sofa.

“I think my husbands having an affair.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I found expensive lingerie, in its box and everything. I thought it was for me but the sizes. Katya, they were tiny.” Trixie moaned, holding her hands in front of her to show a size that certainly would not fit her round hips and butt. “I thought maybe he got the wrong size and they’re a gift but he gave me the damn vacuum cleaner for our anniversary. I checked where he’d hidden it and it was gone.”

“So who’s the lingerie for?” Katya filled in with a nod.

“Exactly.” Trixie nodded, looking down at the glass of wine in her hand. “He’s always away. He’s so protective of that damn cell phone. We never have sex anymore.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Come her, you’ve smudged all your makeup.” Katya said gently, shuffling closer and grabbing a tissue. Trixie allowed herself to look at the other woman as she began to wipe her face. Why did her being so close make Trixie so comfortable yet so nervous at the same time? She wasn’t afraid of her. They were friends. Katya smiled at her when she caught her eye. Trixie couldn’t help but smile back. She would never be as beautiful as Katya. Katya was radiant.

Trixie bit her lip, wanting to ask a question but afraid of hurting her. Katya just continued to smile comfortingly at her, letting hand hand fall to rest at the crooks of Trixie’s elbow. “Has Andrew ever…?”

“What? Cheated?” She asked with a raised eyebrow as they both leant back into the sofa.

“Yeah.” Trixie nodded.

“Oh, I know he fucks other women.” Katya huffed, taking a rather large sip from her wine, but then Katya always did finish her drinks faster than Trixie.

“What? How?” The younger woman asked in disbelief. Katya knew. How could she be so flippant?

“You know Andrew, not smart enough to hide a Christmas present let alone a whole person.” Katya rolled her eye, putting down her empty glass. She looked at it for a second as though surprised by it before suddenly snapping out of it and looking up.

“Does he know you know?”

“Yeah, we never talked about it but I’m pretty sure he knows I know.”

“How can you just be alright with him fucking other women?” Trixie asked, trying not to sound incredulous but failing. How could Katya stand the betrayal?

“Because I do it too.” She replied softly, thumb rubbing gently on Trixie’s arm where her hand still rested. Trixie frowned. While she was sure Katya could have her pick of any man she wanted, part of her couldn’t quite believe it. She could believe that Katya was a liar. She’d always thought that cheating was a slimy, lecherous thing to do and yet across from her sat the funny, kind, elegant Katya. The last thing she was was slimy or lecherous.

“What? You sleep with men behind his back?” Trixie asked, needing the clarification. Maybe she’d misunderstood.

“No.”

“But you said-”

“Trixie.” She interrupted, putting her hands over Trixie’s and cupping them softly. Trixie swallowed, reminding herself that when you have no affectionate physical contact, holding hands with anyone felt good. “I don’t fuck other men behind his back. I fuck other women.”

“What?”

“I don’t sleep with men, I sleep with women.” She clarified, watching Trixie carefully. Suddenly everything changed for Trixie. They weren’t holding hands as friends anymore because Katya… she liked women. You don’t hold hands with someone unless you like them. What did it mean for Katya to like her? What if it meant she wanted her?

“Oh my god. You’re a dyke?” Trixie breathed, pulling her hands away from Katya hold. She let them go, sitting back a little further.

“It’s complicated, but I seem to be sexually attracted to both women and men. That has nothing to do with the fact I don’t love my husband anymore.” Katya said, her voice a little hoarse. She sounded wrong. Trixie couldn’t pin point it, her voice just sounded off somehow.

“Why would you stay with him if you don’t love him?” Trixie asked after a long moment of silence.

“The kids. The house. My parents. His parents. My visa. There’s a lot of reasons, Trixie.”

“So you just habitually cheat on each other?! That’s disgusting.”

“Would you still think it was disgusting if I was sleeping with the pool boy behind his back and not my hair dresser?” Katya countered. Trixie paused for a moment. The hairdresser. The ‘exclusive’ hairdresser.

“I- y- I need to leave, I should go home.”

“Trixie, you don’t have to go, you can stay here tonight.”

“No, no don’t.” Trixie snapped, pulling away from Katya’s touch. “I don’t want you like that. Ok, I don’t. I’m straight and I don’t like you like that. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Woah, ok. I meant you could stay in the spare room or I’ll sleep down here. I’m not some kind of predator.” Katya said, raising her hands and quickly taking a step back. Guilt could in Trixie stomach at the hurt on the other woman’s face. God why did everything have to be so complicated.

“I have to go. Goodbye.”

…………..

Three weeks later…

“Hey.” Nick called as he walked into the house. Trixie checked her lipstick in the shiny toaster before he walked into their kitchen. He’d been away for three days at a confrence, or so he said. She was going to not only win her husband back from whoever he was seeing on the side but she was going to prove something to herself.

“Hi. Did you have a good day at work?” Trixie asked as he walked into the dimly lit room.

“Hey, what’s all this?”

“I thought we could have a special night just for us.” Trixie smiled, opening her robe to reveal the expensive lingerie she’d bought with Katya. It was odd but she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed as Nick looked at her with little more than mild interest masked as hunger. When Katya had first seen her in this, the look in her eyes was indescribable. She hadn’t been able to place it before but knowing what she knew now about Katya, it was certainly lust. Katya’s compliments had made her feel so beautiful. So special. So important. Nick just made her feel cheap as he leant forward and kissed her.

They made their way up to their bedroom, Nick pulling at his tie.

…………..

She moaned, exaggerating it as she often did, for his benefit. It wasn’t bad, it was nice and all. It felt more like he didn’t know how to touch her anymore. That or he just didn’t bother to know anymore. She wondered if Katya would know where to touch her. She must do, she’s a woman. She knows where feels good.

That was when the image of Katya on top of her came into her mind. Katya kissing her neck as she pushed her fingers inside. Katya rolling her nipple between her teeth as she writhed. Katya sliding down her body to press a clever mouth right up against her. Trixie opened her eyes in surprise at how real her moan was she Nick pushed into her.

“God you’re so fucking wet.” Nick breathed as he began to fuck her. Trixie swallowed, guilt washing over her as she realised what just happened. She was thinking about Katya. About Katya touching her. And it was turning her on. She wrapped her arms around her husband as he pushed into her. He wasn’t even looking at her. She’d put all this effort into looking nice and he didn’t even appreciate it. Katya would have appreciated it, a small part of her brain supplied as she returned to fake moaning in the hope it would be over soon.

“I love you.” He groaned as her pounded into her, his socks still on his feet.

“I love you too.” Trixie gasped out, a tear leaking from her eye as her husband tensed and came. She quickly wiped it away as he rolled off her to lay on his back. It was barely three minutes before he began snoring. She took a deep breath, climbing out of the bed and going into the bathroom. She hadn’t meant it. She’s said it but she didn’t mean it at all. She didn’t love him. Not anymore.

She shut the door behind her, hands shaking as she looked at herself in the mirror. How long had it no longer been true? How many times has she lied? Not only to Nick but to herself. Her hands gripped the side of the sink as she let silent tears run down her face.

Not for the first time in the past few weeks she wished Katya was there. She found herself wishing it almost every minute of every day. She’d tried to go over and see her, apologise for how she was, spend time with her again. But she couldn’t. Every time she came close to their front door a feeling bubbled up in her chest. It scared her.

She raised her eyes to look at herself in the mirror. She pulled out a tissue from the box in front of her and began to tidy up her make up. You want Katya, she thought to herself, you want to sleep with her.

“I’m not gay.” She breathed, barely audible. But I’m also not happy. Taking a step back Trixie scrutinised herself in the mirror. She looked so good, and he hadn’t even said anything. Hadn’t even bothered to take is socks off. Katya would have said something. Maybe she still could, the bad part of her mind suggested. She swallowed. What was she doing?

……………….

"Hi.“ Trixie said softly when Katya finally opened her front door. They hadn’t spoken in almost three weeks now. Trixie had thought the separation might help her. Might stop her thinking about Katya all the time. But it didn’t. She only found herself obsessing more. Thinking about Katya with several faceless woman in several different positions.

"Oh, hey.” Katya said in surprise, looking her up and down. “Are you alright?” Trixie swallowed looking down at her pink silken dressing gown.

“Is- is Andrew here?” The younger woman asked, avoiding the question because she found she didn’t know the answer herself. She shivered slightly in her thin clothes.

“No, he’s away at a conference or so he tells me.” Katya supplied with a shrug, still looking thoroughly confused by the situation.

“C-can I come in?”

“Of course, sweetie.” Katya said gently, stepping aside to let the other woman into her house. Trixie slumped into the house, arms wrapped around her robe. It was like she was trying to hold herself together, arms squeezing herself tight so that she wouldn’t just fall to pieces of Katya ugly rug. “What can I do for you?” Katya asked as she shut the door behind her. Trixie came to a stop in the hall and looked up the stairs. What could she do for her?

She turned around, pulling at the tie on the front of her robe. Katya stared in disbelief as she held it open to reveal her lingerie. “You like me in the lingerie, how about you take it off me.” Trixie said as confidently as she could. Katya looked her up and down appreciatively before frowning at her.

“What are you doing, Trixie?” She asked, stepping closer, fingers twitching as though trying to restrain a need to touch.

“Please.” She said with a slightly shaky voice.

“What do you want?” Katya asked as she stepped into Trixie’s personal space. The younger woman let her arms fall around Katya’s shoulders.

“I want you to touch me.” Trixie gasped, her breath heavy. God she was so close. “I want to come, God it’s been so long since someone made me feel good I-”

“And you think I can make you do that?” Katya whispered, nose brushing against Trixie’s as her warm hands rested softly on her hips. She could feel her thumbs stroking at the skin between her knickers and her garter belt.

“I know you can.” She replied, pressing closer against the other woman. Katya regarded her for a moment before leaning forward to kiss her. It was one of the sweetest kisses Trixie had tasted in a long time. She sighed, pushing her fingers into Katya’s hair. It was odd how different it felt, kissing a woman. The body pressed against her, both familiar and unfamiliar as Katya slid an arm around her.

“Take me upstairs?” Trixie asked when she finally pulled away for air. She knew it was a cliché but kissing Katya felt like drowning. When she caught Katya’s eye she knew something had just changed. She couldn’t go back now. She’d tasted something homemade Italian macaroni and cheese, she couldn’t go back to Kraft dinners now. Ok, so the food analogy was odd but she found herself smiling, knowing that Katya would have found it funny.

Katya reached forwards to carefully brush Trixie’s delicately styled hair away from her face. “Ok.” She nodded after searching Trixie’s face for a moment. She took the other woman’s hand, leading her up the stairs. Trixie followed, nerves bubbling her stomach at the quiet tension that threatened to snap at any moment.

“Are you sure about this, Trixie?” Katya asked as Trixie laid back on her disastrously decorated bed. Trixie smiled down at the clashing prints. Katya didn’t fit in the neighbourhood, she never could. People thought that was a bad thing, that she was wrong for being weird but it was honestly one of Trixie’s favourite things about her.

“Yes.” Trixie nodded, looking at her with a smile. She surprised herself in just how okay she felt. Sure she was nervous but it was a good kind of nervous. That mixture of nerves and excitement that fills your belly on the first day of school or prom or a first date.

“And you know we can stop whenever, if it’s too much or you don’t like it we can just…”

“Katya, I know.” She said reassuringly, giving her a smile as she slipped her robe off and dropped it onto the floor beside the bed. She leant back coyly. “Now take that off.” She added, nudging the fabric of Katya’s dress with her toes. The Russian smiled, raising her arms to pull it over her head. Colour stained Trixie’s cheeks as she looked at Katya. “You’re not wearing any underwear.” She rasped, her mouth dry as she looked at the other woman’s naked body.

“What will the neighbours say?!” Katya gasped in mock horror, hand coming to rest on her neck as though she was clutching pearls. Trixie giggled. “I’m afraid it doesn’t make me quite the sight you are.” Katya added, chuckling as she slid onto the bed, crawling on top of the other woman. Trixie heart beat sped up as she loomed over her. Katya’s presence was so overpowering, it was as though she filled every corner of the room.

“I think you look amazing.” Trixie breathed, letting her eyes trail up to meet the other woman’s. She raised her hand to touch her before suddenly faltering. It had taken her all this time to realise she didn’t quite know how to touch the other woman. The last thing she wanted to be was a selfish lover, she wanted Katya to feel as good as her.

“It’s alright.” Katya said softly, looking her in the eye. “You can touch me wherever you want.” Trixie swallowed before moving to cup Katya breast in her hand. She let out a small gasp as she felt her. It was an odd and yet erotic feeling, touch another woman’s breasts. She’d expected them to feel the same as her own and yet they didn’t. They seemed heavier, her skin softer. Katya sighed in pleasure and leant forward to kiss Trixie again. The kissed languidly, Katya’s hands roaming gently yet modestly up and down her thigh. Trixie found herself surprised just how slow this was. It was as though Katya was taking time to memorise her, to get to know her mouth thoroughly before she moved on anywhere else.

“God you’re beautiful.” Katya moaned, sitting back on her heels to look down at her. “Let me take it in before it take it off you.” She explained, eyes roaming over Trixie in a way that might have made her feel uncomfortable if it was anyone else.

“Please, Katya.” She gasped, wriggling a little beneath her. As much as she wanted to go slowly, taking everything in, she was already desperate for release. She wanted everything and she wanted it as soon as possible.

“It’s okay sweetie, I’ve got you.” The older woman said softly, pressing a kiss to her thigh as she unhooked her suspenders and began to slide her stocking down.

“You don’t need to take it all off.” Trixie informed her, letting her hand fall back on the pillow beside her as Katya slid her other stocking down her leg. She waved them in the air with a flourish she seemed to know would make Trixie smile before dropping them to the floor.

“And deprive myself of seeing this gorgeous body in all its glory?” Katya asked incredulously, a playful smile on her face.

“You make me feel…” Trixie began before falling quiet, chewing her lip as Katya came to lean close to her.

“What? What do I make you feel?”

“Special.” She confessed as Katya helped her out of her bra, dragging the pink lace down her arms “Beautiful.” Katya hooked her fingers in her underwear, sliding it down as Trixie felt blush tint her cheeks. What surprised her was that the embarrassment wasn’t due to her nudity but her confessions. Looking up from her place laid between Trixie’s legs, Katya watched her closely. “Important.” …Loved, Trixie’s mind added at the end. Katya made her feel how Nick was supposed to make her feel.

“You are all those things.” Katya said with a surprisingly sad look in her eyes. She trailed up Trixie’s body, pressing stray kisses to her skin. “Don’t you feel like that the rest of the time?”

Trixie shook her head.

“You are so special, Trixie.” She said firmly, looking down at her with the softest eyes.

“Please. Katya. Ah.” Trixie moaned as Katya hand slid down between her legs. The Russian grinned, dipping to kiss her neck.

“Are you wearing new perfume?” She asked as she slid down Trixie’s body. Trixie could only nod her breath heavy with anticipation. “It suits you.” She grinned, positioning one of Trixie’s legs over her shoulder.

Trixie didn’t know if Katya saw the smile that split her face before she leant down to lick her. But soon it didn’t matter as Katya’s tongue flicked her clit. She let out a moan, not realising how worked up she was.

Trixie’s hand quickly fell to her breast, squeezing it as Katya continued to lick and suckle gently on her clit. God she was good. She could feel her toes curling as she writhed. Katya had a hand wrapped tightly around her raised leg, the other resting on her stomach to still her movements.

Katya moaned as Trixie took her hand and pulled it up to rest on her breast. Trixie twitched at the feel of the vibration against her. She held her own hand tightly over Katya’s as the other woman massaged her breast. The Russian was certainly talented with her mouth in way Trixie hadn’t experienced in years, if ever. Katya’s fingers laced with her own over her breast, pushing one of her nipples between their joined fingers.

It really didn’t take long for Trixie soft moan to turn into near screams. She grasped the head board with her free hand, needing to hold onto something as she felt orgasm approach. “Katya.” She moaned as the other woman slid a finger inside her and crooked it. Blinding hot pleasure shot through her spine as she came harder than she had in years. Katya rode her through it, pressing kisses to clit before taking a long slow lick from her opening all the way up. Trixie shuddered, feeling boneless.

“God that was hot.” Katya moaned, hand between her legs. Trixie’s mind had evidently leaked from her ears during orgasm as it took her several seconds to realise what Katya said and what she was doing.

“Let me.” Trixie said quickly her breath still heavy. For a moment she worried her arms wouldn’t respond before she reached out to the other woman.

“I’m not far. Just do what you would do to yourself.” She instructed as she laid back on the bed. Trixie rolled on top of her, sliding her hand teasingly down Katya’s stomach. The look on Katya face as she finally touched her was something to behold. Trixie kissed her chest, shocked at just how wet the other woman was. She enjoyed it. She enjoyed eating her out. She enjoyed touching her.

Trixie pushed a finger inside as Katya raised her leg to allow her better access. The Russian moaned and shivered as she began to push in and out slowly, her thumb rubbing circles against her clit.

“How are you so ah-” Katya gasped out as Trixie began to move faster, crooking her fingers slightly as Katya had.

“Shhh.” Trixie hushed as she kissed Katya’s neck, trailing down to gently take one of her nipples between her teeth. Katya’s hands gripped her arm tightly as she moaned, she was close already. She began rambling Russian as Trixie sucked her nipple, picking up the pace of her fingers. Her whole body tensed as she came, head thrown back in a silent cry. She slumped, trying to get her breathing back to a more normal rate.

Trixie rolled back, smiling softly as Katya followed her. Resting her head on Trixie’s shoulder, her arm wrapped tightly around her waist. They lay like that for several minutes, just breathing. Trying to cling to the good feeling as long as they could. Trixie stroked Katya’s long hair. She had always wondered how soft it would feel between her fingers. And now she knew. So many of those things she’d wondered about Katya. What she would look like in the throes of passion? How it would feel to kiss her? All those things she’d thought about while Nick snored on the other side of the bed.

Nick.

Trixie looked up at the ceiling and felt tears prick her eyes. She tried to fight the tears, not wanting Katya to feel bad or like she was at fault. Her hand came to cover her mouth as she began to cry.

“Trixie?” Katya frowned, evidently feeling Trixie’s shoulders shake. “Oh Trixie.” She breathed when she saw her face. “This is my fault, I knew something was wrong.” She said quickly, looking away in anger. Trixie momentarily felt hurt but it quickly became clear who she was angry at as she rubbed her eyes. Katya was angry at herself.

“I’m sorry.” She gasped, wiping fat tears as they rolled down her face. It was like someone had opened the floodgates, the harder she tried to stop the more she cried. She must look terrible with make-up streaking down her cheeks.

“Oh Trixie, come here.” Katya sighed, pulling her into a hug. She stroked her hair gently as she rocked them slightly. “I understand. You feel guilty. It’s ok. We can forget it ever happened.” She assured her, although something in her voice betrayed the truth of the matter. Katya didn’t want to forget.

“But I don’t feel guilty.” Trixie sobbed. “That’s the awful part. I’m a terrible person.”

“You’re far from a terrible person, sweetie, you’re the most amazing person I know.”

“I think the same about you.” The younger woman confessed, not able to look up from her place pressed against Katya’s chest for fear of what she might see.

“I’m going to get you something to drink, I’ll be right back.” Katya said as she stood, walking out of the room naked as the day she was born. Trixie ran her hands over her eyes and looked down at them. A silver band lay heavy on her finger.

She couldn’t decide if it was worse that she did what she did or that she didn’t regret it. God, she was a shitty person. How had she been so angry at Nick for betraying their relationship when she had done the same? How often had she lied to him? Was it every time she said she loved him? Was she lying on their wedding day? How did she know? Truth and lies had become muddled up in what she and others expected her to feel.

“Here.” Katya said gently and she sat down beside the other woman. She slid a mug into her hand. “It’s tea, I’d give you something stronger but I can’t have alcohol in the house anymore.” She shrugged, not meeting Trixie’s eye as she fiddled with a thread on one of her colourful blankets.

“You stopped drinking?” Trixie asked in surprise, part of her secretly relieved to hear so.

“Yeah, it- its was close to turning into something. Turning me into someone I didn’t want to be.”

“Do you feel better now?” She asked hopefully, blowing on the tea to cool it before taking a sip.

“No, it feels like shit, I just have to believe it’ll feel better tomorrow.” Katya confessed, running idle fingers over Trixie’s knee. Trixie smiled, dropping her free hand down to take Katya’s, hoping it would let her know that there was no shame in what she was doing.

“I’ve been doing that for the past six years. It doesn’t always work.” Trixie said humourlessly as Katya laced their fingers.

“What’s going on, Trixie?”

“Nick and I just had sex. Before I came I mean.”

“You’re telling me my mouth made indirect contact with Nick’s cock.” Katya shuddered, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Shut up.” Trixie said, failing to stop the giggle from bubbling up her chest. Katya smirked, nudging her with her shoulder. “He was wearing a condom and this is serious.”

“Ok.”

“He told me that he loved me.” Trixie continued, looking up to meet Katya’s eyes.

“Ok, that’s good. Right?” The Russian asked in what was evidently supposed to be cheeriness.

“I said it back. But I didn’t mean it, Katya.” She sighed, looking down at her tea as the steam swirled above the cup. “I just realised how many times I said it but I didn’t actually mean it.”

“Oh sweetie.” Katya sighed with understanding in her voice that hurt Trixie in a way she hadn’t been expecting. It sounded too much like Katya understood due to personal experience.

“All I do is lie to him. I tell him I love him. I’ve fake every orgasm I’ve had with him for the past almost year and a half.” She took a breath, it felt good to get her feelings out. There was no way she could tell her mother or sister, they wouldn’t understand or worse they’d tell her they’d told her so and refuse to help her with the mess she was in. “I was so mad at him for lying but I’m just as bad.”

“Faking an orgasm isn’t the same as cheating.”

“What did I just do Katya?” Trixie huffed, looking up to meet the other woman’s eye. She sighed and took a sip of her tea before placing it on the bedside table. “It’s like I just suddenly realised how fucking miserable I am all the time. Why am I living like this? Why am I doing this to my husband? To my family?”

“I can’t believe this.” Katya huffed, shaking her head.

“What?”

“Your husband is a dick and you’re blaming yourself for everything. Why do you always have to play the victim?” She snapped, letting go of Trixie as she stood. She was seemingly restless as she began to pace at the end of the bed.

“Excuse me?!” Trixie squeaked indignantly, she didn’t understand where this sudden anger came from but it felt very out of character for the Katya she thought she knew.

“So your husband is fucking somebody else. So you don’t love him anymore. So he doesn’t appreciate you. So he doesn’t worship every part of you like he should. What are you going to do about it?”

“Oh you’re one to talk. With your not so secret affairs.” Trixie argued back, moving to the bottom of the bed and rising to her knees to put herself on a more equal level with the other woman.

“That’s exactly why I’m saying this to you, because I wish someone had said it to me four years ago.” Katya insisted, the regret in her voice making Trixie’s heart break into small pieces. “What are you going to do about it, Trixie?”

“I-”

“Don’t you dare just accept this shit. Don’t you dare just decide it’s terrible and there’s nothing to be done.” She cried, her voice suddenly dropping as she looked at Trixie with earnest eyes. “You’re worth so much more than that.” Katya sighed. Trixie swallowed, how was it that compliments from Katya felt different than when they came from other people. When Katya told her she was beautiful, she made her believe it just by the way she said it. As though she couldn’t be surer of any other fact. “What do you want, Trixie?”

“I want to be in love again.” She confessed, thinking of all the things she thought she would have when she married her sweetheart. “I want to laugh. I want to cuddle. I watch stupid movies and eat cake. I want to go on picnics and spend the whole trip in the car because of the rain.” Trixie continued, suddenly realising she’d unintentionally shifted from general feelings to specific things she’d done with Katya. “I want to be happy again.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Katya asked.

“I’m going to leave my husband.”

“I’m very proud of you.” The Russian breathed, her eye shining with a mixture of pride, happiness and envy. It was as though she’d decided she was too far gone. As though she was stuck but she’d realised she could grant freedom to someone who still had the chance to get out.

“And you’re going to come with me." Trixie blurted out enthusiastically, grabbing Katya’s hands.

"What? Trixie I can’t I-” Katya began to argue, looking down at their hands sadly.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t Trixie, there might be problems with my visa and Andrew knows about the women. He’ll tell people Trixie.” She insisted, fear creeping into her eyes. It was then that Trixie wondered just how many people knew that Katya liked woman as well as men.

“So?”

“Oh my god, that’s such a straight person thing to say.” Katya huffed, rolling her eyes. “People are not going to like it.” Trixie sat back on her heels and though about this for a moment. She knew that it was an unusual and likely risky choice to live an openly gay life with your lover. With the aids crisis fresh in the memory of most of the world she knew there would be prejudice. But she also knew there would be allies. People, communities, groups that would not only accept but embrace them.

“Were you here fifteen minutes ago? That didn’t seem very straight.”

“Letting me eat you out does not a lesbian make, Trixie.” Katya laughed, looking at Trixie with fond eyes.

“Maybe I’m not as straight as you think.” Trixie countered, pulling the other woman closer by their joined hands. Katya chuckled as Trixie face came within inches of her own.

“Oh yeah?” She countered, stepping closer.

“Yeah.” Trixie nodded, pressing her lips to Katya’s in a fairly quick open mouthed kiss. Katya hummed into the kiss, hand coming to rest on the back of her head.

“Trixie.” Katya sighed, her tone warning as she pulled away, putting some distance between them, even if it was a small amount of distance.

“Come with me, Katya. We’ll go find a place together. We’ll sort things out. Nothing is going to change until we make it change.”

“People are going to think you’re my girlfriend if they find out I’m gay and we’re living together.” Katya mumbled, looking down at the ground as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“It would be quite the scandal.” Trixie giggled, her tone evidently surprising the other woman.

“You don’t mind that?” She blinked.

“What if it was true?”

“Oh my god, this isn’t happening.” Katya breathed, hands coming to cover her eyes as she walked in an aimless circle as she tried to process this information.

“Katya. I don’t really understand what I feel for you but it is something and it is real. I think about you all the time, you make me happy. I- I was even thinking about you when Nick and I were…” She trailed off, sighing at Katya’s frantic motions. She stood and came to stand in front of the other woman, placing her hands on her hips to hold her still. Katya peeked out from behind her fingers, her eyes conveyed a mixture of nerves and joy that left Trixie feeling confident in her words. “I think I might be in love with you and I know it’s kind of out of nowhere and I don’t really understand it but… that’s how I feel. So there.” She said with a sense of finality, letting her hands fall to her sides.

“I- I mean this is all so sudden. I’ve wanted to hear you say you liked me like that for so long, but last time we saw each other you wouldn’t even touch me Trixie.” Katya rambled, hurt colouring her eyes as she thought back to the last time they’d spoken.

“I was scared of what I felt. I still kind of am honestly.” Trixie confessed, looking at the ground guilty before gathering her courage. “But I know that you make me happy. Do I make you happy?” She asked hopefully, placing a gentle hand on Katya’s bicep.

“Yes, more than anyone I’ve ever known.” Katya sighed, stepping forwards to pull her into a hug. “I don’t like to let people know when I’m scared. I’m scared a lot of the time, even Andrew doesn’t know this but even the grocery store scares me.” Katya whispered in her ear, hands holding her waist tightly. Trixie swallowed, shocked by the confession. Katya always seemed so together, so calm and collected.

“Sometimes it good to be scared. It lets you know life is interesting.” Trixie said gently, stroking her hand over Katya’s long hair.

“Is that why I’m terrified right now? Because life is interesting.” Katya asked, her chest moving against Trixie’s as she chuckled breathlessly.

“Maybe. Listen you don’t have to come with me. But if you ever decided you wanted to you’d always be welcome.”

“I thought you wanted me to come with you.”

“I do.” Trixie said earnestly. “But I’d rather you were comfortable. If you want to stay here. If you feel safe here, stay Katya. I mean it.” She pressed a kiss to the other woman’s hands. “Then you can visit me as much as you want. Maybe one day you’ll be ready to join me.”

“You’d do that for me? You’d go all alone?” Katya asked in surprise, blinking rapidly.

“Of course.“ Trixie nodded as Katya stared down at the carpet beneath their feet.

"You still want to run away together?” The Russian asked after a long moment of silence.

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you know the number of a good divorce lawyer?”

“You’re coming?” Trixie asked hopefully. Katya bit her lip as grinned widely, nodding.

“This is crazy, you’re crazy.” Katya giggled as Trixie jumped in the air, hugging her tightly.

“Maybe a little.” Trixie confessed, swooping forwards to press the hard kiss to Katya’s lips. She pulled away, quickly searching for her underwear. “Pack your bags.”

“You want to go right now? What about your stuff?” Katya blinked, evidently surprised by the sudden action. She looked over at the clock, nine o’clock.

“I’ve had bags packed since I found out about the cheating. We can come back and get the rest of our stuff later, we’ll figure all that out later.” Trixie said with a wave of her hand. She remembered when she’d angrily packed the bags while Nick was at work. By the time she’d finished her anger had been replaced with overwhelming sadness and she’d gone straight to Katya’s.

“Ok. But you write that man a letter. He may be a selfish motherfucker but don’t stoop to his level by leaving with no explanation.” Katya inisisted, waggling her finger at the other woman as she picked up her dress.

“Ok.” Trixie nodded as Katya slid her dress on. A wave of guilt hit her as she remembered some of the good times she and Nick had had when they’d first met. They weren’t a poorly suited pair, they’d gotten on pretty well when they first got together but it became clear to Trixie as she reflected on their time together that the longer they were together the less he seemed to care about her. He took her for granted, slowly realising that he could get away with doing less and less on his end.

“I’m going to go pack. There’s a pad of paper and a pen by the telephone.” Katya said, pointing to the phone on the bedside table.

“Ok.” She nodded, picking up the items and sliding down onto the bed as Katya pulled open the wardrobe.

“Ok. Great.” Katya nodded, pulling dresses out of the wardrobe two at a time. She turned, arms full to see a thoughtful look on Trixie’s face as she stared down at the paper in front of her. She dropped the dresses on the bed and came to Trixie’s side. “Are you okay?” She asked gently as she noticed the sad look in Trixie’s eyes.

“Sorry.” She replied quickly, looking up from the paper. “I was never good at breaking up with people.” She confessed, with a small smile. “I don’t really know where to start.”

“Trixie, you’re sure about this?”

“It feels right in my gut.” Trixie smiled, taking Katya hand in her own. “Does it feel right in yours?” She asked, a laugh in her voice to hide the nerves she felt at the question. The Russian paused for a second then grinned.

“Yeah. It does.”

#katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #trixya #lesbian au #cisgirl au #au #90s au #angst #fluff #smut #ellen thwoorp #rpdr fanfiction #submission #housewives au #new year new au #tw bullying #tw unhappy sex #tw infidelity

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fluffandfiteme-archived · 8 years ago

Text

#JustKeepWriting 1/13/17

Not 15 minutes ago I was planning to go to sleep. Between the ping pong game the medical “professionals” are playing regarding my mother’s well being and my own matters, I have been drained and exhausted. An unrelated note, the death of diets is mothers. I haven’t given up on eating less, but today certainly took a hit.

But no, as I went into my mother’s room to say good night, she read a question of her social media site of choice-Quora, a privately run question and answer site. A single question ignited me, and now I must write on a topic I have before, and likely will again.

“What is a Mary Sue and how do I avoid writing one?”

I sucked in my breath before answering. You see, in my dozen years of dabbling in social circles based on movies, games, and shows I have encountered this term. It has been used to terrify young women who really want to write a character who happens to be extraordinary. Most often it was used to refer to fan created characters who appeared in fan fiction or role play, frequently pairing off with a pre-existing character and potentially changing the course of canon.

I mean not that that it doesn’t make complete sense that a new character of substance could change the course of a history. Because you know what? It really does.

It was usually used as a shaming technique on female writers or writers who created female characters. Often called overpowered, too perfect, too happy, and too tragic and angsty all at the same time.

Over the years, the name calling of Mary Sue has moved to canonical characters, in other words, characters in the main narrative by the same writer as everyone else who do appear in the work. A fresh example was regarding Rey, in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Before that, I remember Xion who appeared in Kingdom Hearts Days. Technically there’s a number in that title, but it was confusing and false advertising so everyone calls it Days. Bella Swan from Twilight and the character that was once literally her in fanfiction, Anastasia Steele from 50 Shades of Grey have both been called it. (Yes, I read it. Will probably continue to for research to further tear it apart and write alternate reality fiction. Who knows, maybe I’ll knock off 50 to expose the dangers and conflict caused by the so called romance).

During the brief questioning regarding Rey, I wrote on my old blog comparing her to Anakin and Luke Skywalker as they appeared in the previous trilogies. Except I did it without identifying any of them until after their scores were in. My scoring methods were simple: did they follow the core components of Wikipedia’s definition, and how high did they score on the Universal Mary Sue Test.

[The mentioned Quiz is found here ]

[The full posts can be found here and here

Shockingly of the three leads, Rey scored the lowest on both counts. She was the most balanced of the characters. Anakin was inching onto the Sue scale. And Luke was no holds barred.

But you know what the funny thing I noticed in my own experiences are?

I have never once heard someone call a male character a Mary Sue. Now, there is a term for it-Gary or Marty Stu. But I have literally never heard it used.

(I mean, there are characters that are just really badly written, but this is about the Mary Sue stigma used to keep female characters demur, weak, and undeveloped.)

Now, the wikipedia intro blurb defines a Mary Sue as:

“An idealized and seemingly perfect fictional character, a young or low rank person who saves the day through unrealistic abilities. Often this character is recognized as an author insert or wish fulfillment.”

Author insert aside, because fuck you I have two characters that started that way but both of them and I have diverged and developed completely independent and because I write them well, no one could guess, and most enjoy writing against them in role play.

Idealized and seemingly perfection fictional character, often young or low rank who saves the day through unrealistic abilities.

Literally any and all Jedi could be shoved under this category.

Kingdom Hearts is literally full of lead characters and supporting cast fitting this classification-not to speak of Square Enix and Disney, the parent companies.

One could say Bella qualifies, given her unique resistance to vampire abilities, her teenage status, and how all the boys and girls lobe her.

The same cannot actually be said about her fanfiction counterpart, Ana Steele? I refuse to count 21 as young, she doesn’t save the day through unrealistic abilities, and she is not perfect.

But you know what? By that definite, Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, is a Mary Sue. He was a kid from Brooklyn, barely old enough to be drafted, if he had ever qualified. He was poor as dirt, so also of low rank. He has no real character flaws of note, Civil War not withstanding because that’s a separate issue but the narrative still displays him as in the right. And suddenly through the power of science, he becomes a super human and saves the world time and time again.

Or hey kids, how about Batman? Little Bruce Wayne is orphaned, but over the years trains and uses the family fortune profits to run the company, improve Gotham City’s socioeconomic structure, win multiple hearts and minds, and oh yeah, create an arsenal of super advanced and cool tools and weapons with a bat theme, including a car, a super computer, a suit, and a secret lab.

Oh! Aragorn! You know, the Ranger, Strider, Aka, Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Isulder’s heir from Lord of the Rings? His mother literally died dropping him on the doorstep of the elves in Rivendell. Thus he became a human raised among them, and oh yeah, he’s a Dunedin (not sure how that’s spelled) with super ranger tracking abilities and extra long life expectancy. Not like elf long, but easily topping dwarf or Hobbit. Wins the heart of Arwen, then Eowyn, basically the only two female characters that aren’t Galadirel. Who by the way is Arwen’s aunt so that would be weird. He unites the previously warring peoples of Elves, different nations of man, and even a few hobbits and a dwarf. And I mean like literally the day before he gave King Theodan a pep talk, Rohan was of the mind Gondor could go screw themselves. And the elves had been completely indifferent. Oh, and lets not forget the special chosen prince totally not Excaliber sword he used to summon the army of ghosts that wiped out the entire force attacking Minas Tirith.

Captain Kirk. Even before the reboot, he was mister Captain Perfect Hair. He could do no wrong, and generally had a different lover interest every episode. And oh yeah, he was born in Iowa, pre reboot, a good old country boy.

Lets see, Marvel, DC, Fantasy, Scifi…

I feel like I need anime and video game examples next.

Bleach. An old favorite though some of the final arc decisions-well, let me be honest, the final pairing decisions, left me put off. Anyway. Ichigo Kurosaki is the lead character. Spoilers ahead for anyone not familiar. It turns out he’s a half Shinigami on his father’s side, half Quincy on his mother’s side, and a pinch of Hollow because house Isshin met his mother. Which means all three main races, that DO NOT GET ALONG THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SERIES, he is part of. Even at the beginning of the show, he’s got the ability to see ghosts and spirits, and seems to be able to take on entire gangs on his own. He is a poor boy whose father runs an urgent care clinic, and is guilt stricken constantly about the death of his mother. Which later becomes a major plot point like twice over to give him angst. Once given Shinigami powers, or once his powers awaken, he is an instant bad ass, having more abundant spirit energy then anyone has ever seen. Literally every time a rule is explained in Bleach, you know its purpose is for Ichigo to break that rule. And oh yeah, with the exception of the lesbian and his sisters, literally every female character of note who encounters Ichigo has a a desire or longing for him of some form. Rangiku might be an exception, but I know Rukia, Orihime, Neliel, and Tatsuki all have a thing for him. And yes, he saves all of existence pretty regularly.

Video games are rife with examples of this blatancy. Cloud Strife comes to mind, a well known character from Final Fantasy VII. Multiple unlockable date scenes, boy from the country, tragic story. Low rank, still saves the world with the power of friendship. (TELL ME I’M WRONG). But I will also cite a much older known character.

Mario. Mario of Super Mario Brothers, Mario Party, and Mario Cart. Among many others. He is a plumber, who accidentally found up in the Mushroom Kingdom through the pipes. There he learns he can crush enemies by jumping on them, double in size if he eats the right mushroom, and develop a number of abilities such as pyrokinesis or growing a tail and being able to fly. And of course, he defeats the dragon and saves the princess. Remember: he is a plumber.

Now here’s my point. All of these characters would fulfill the qualifications of a Mary Sue. But none of them have ever been called one. Why not? I assume because they each have a penis. (Except maybe Cloud. I maintain Cloud is a gender fluid female).

There is literally an anime out about a dude who wins everything in one punch. If it was a chick I guarantee it would not have gotten past an episode.

The point I am making here is: most stories feature a hero that starts at a low point of some form, be it tragedy, rank, or age. They may develop a love interest, and eventually save the world through extraordinary means. This is actually a skeleton that can be applied to almost any movie, book, game, or show.

But that doesn’t mean they can’t be enjoyed. I encourage you to keep loving Batman and Captain America and Aragorn, and everyone else I highlighted. What I also encourage is to compare a female character if she wasn’t female to Batman, Superman, Captain America, or Aragorn. You may find Mary Sue falls apart. I know I have.

I have a friend. A chosen sister. We butt heads for a while because I got so paranoid about making overpowered characters, I didn’t like writing with them-even if they weren’t mine. I’ve now realized that’s not the point. If you write a character well, and let the reader or viewer understand that through the narrative, that’s all that matters. Male, female, power level, rank, and number of love interests just don’t matter.

Mary Sue doesn’t matter.

Perhaps I’ll bring back Mary Sue Monday...

#JustKeepWriting #Mary Sue #Star Wars #Batman #Captain America #Aragorn #Final Fantasy #Kingdom Hearts

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