#its perscribed
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I wanted to write to distract me from not being on my anxiety meds, but not being on my anxiety meds makes it impossible to focus on writing. I might have to blow up insurance offices guys
#i hate insurance.#i hate america#capitalist bullshit#nooo. you CANT have the medication that your doctor perscribed for you. its not medically necessary.#youre also not allowed to have your previous meds either. also not medically necessary.#you have diagnosed anxiety? whelp 🫤. nothing we can do
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morphine
#undescribed#been in 8/10 - 10/10 pain nearly sll day#and good fuck is morphine a total relief#(perscribed to me!!!!)#its also so interesting to see how it interacts with my chronic pain#im. not in pain? i mean i AM but my brain doesnt care about that#its crazy in the best way
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#my therapist teaching me a mindfulness technique: so what do u think?#me: this is like how vulcans deal with their emotions. they recognize them and set them side. acknowledge and accept#also i need to send these thoughts away on icebergs in the ocean instead of on clouds in the sky#its the exact opposite of what u were saying but i think abt the terror so god damn much its infected me down to the bone#literally anything she tells me i gotta b like: how can i either relate this to media or fold this into a metaphor?#bc i guess thats just how my brain works idk.#ugh. saw the psychologist and psychiatrist today and now theyre perscribing me ab1lify#hope it works. i dont have the perspiration in hands yet. i wish my brain would just b Normal#but i feel generally better than i did last week already#they think im sensitive to medication. either my body or my mind. ie. i freak myself out and my body reacts#so i convince myself im having a reaction. they haven't said that but im sure theyre thinking it bc im also thinking it lol#cant pin me down. my mind is too slippery#things i did not think would happen to me: a bip0lar diagnosis and prescription for anti psychotics#unrelated
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feeling very uh. elden ring lobster gif at my dr and pharmacy rn
#CAN YOU MAYBE GET IT TOGETHER AND WARN ME OF BAD INTERACTIONS BETWEEN MY MEDICATIONS#WHY DID I JUST STUMBLE UPON THE FACT THAT YOU SHOULDNT TAKE BOTH NORTRYPTILINE AND SUMATRIPTAN#WHEN I WAS PERSCRIBED BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME. WHY WAS I NOT WARNED OF THE RISK OF SERATONIN SYNDROME#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#this keeps. fucking happening. my dr keeps prescribing me meds at dangerously high doses.#or meds that interact badly with each other#she was aware that I used cannabis when she prescribed me prazosin years back#and the interaction that happened between the two was straight up fucking extremely traumatic#I split from it! I was 100% sure I was actively dying! I was passing out every few seconds while seated!!! my blood pressure fucking tanked#and I collapsed and I split and I am still so fucked up by what happened 3 years later#I need. a new dr and honestly probably a new pharmacy. before this lack of care gets me fucking killed.#this isnt okay. I keep letting it go because I keep forgetting and our relationship with our dr is cordial now#but it isnt ok and it's actually dangerous#if I get hit by a bad and potentially super dangerous interaction without being aware that that's what's happening#I will try to push through because I'm used to my body doing weird + scary shit#and its gonna get me killed.
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I'm done with my episode
#getting hit with suicidal thoughts while working at walmart was hell#i took some xanax PERSCRIBED and passed out when i got home and i feel stablish again#my thoughts are never severe enough to act on necessarily but#its the anxiety#i get chest pains and i cant breathe and im too good at masking it so no one knows whats going on
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I’ve been trying to get Enya’s y8 lore down for the last 3 days but all I’ve managed is to stare at this blank draft KSKDKSKS😭
#like its not that I don’t know what to type in fact its the opposite😭#its just getting started has been tough…😭 and also the 10000 other ideas at the same time#also working on commississons too so it’s been blank for a while LMAO#and I have to do Leo’s ref…😭 but I always end up getting a new Enyao idea or see a pretty ref I wanna do#plus a bunch of other WIPS#AAAAA I’m just ansty… and need to refill meds again… I’ve had awful focus sjdkdkd#monster has helped at least :’) but only for maybe a day and we’re back at square one#AND MY ALLERGIES… MY BIGGEST BEEF RN#even now I’m sneezing and it gets so bad I can barely get any thing done#I just end up fatigued and congested bc of it…💀#on that note does anyone else who take SSRIS and ADHD meds get a reaction when you go without for a bit…?😭#I mean besides the brainzaps for me its like I end up getting an allergy flare up#maybe once I square the next payment away I should talk to my perscriber about that😭#okay I was going to brainstorm more but ended up talking to the Zhaobot instead…help
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just saw an article-length post about how abusive people are just inherently abusive which. is the absolute wrong conclusion to draw about anything.
#nobody is inherently anything#and to ascribe actions to 'thats just how they are *shrug*' helps nobody#the post had some good bits about explaining the 'why' of some abusive behaviors#but capped it off with 'abusive people just Are and maybe they can change idk but its better to treat them as a lost cause' attitude#like. treating any category of person as just inherently worse than others reeks of reactionary thought#judge people by actions not by perscribed labels. thoughtcrime and inherent goodness/badness arent real.
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I'm rlly mad there's a global Adderall shortage which means everybody switched to Ritalin and I'm just saying I think if I've been prescribed it for 15 fucking years they should put some aside for me.
#thats more of a general like#if ur a doctor and getting an influx of clients you cant book all of thm bc then ur existing clients will not be able to get in#its stupid but theres kind of a good reason for when its hard to get into a place youve never been before#bc they are retaining resources for the people it gad already been promised to#.....you shouldnt as a nation he perscribing everybody the same fucking substitution for a shortage bc people are already using it#and there wasnt twice the amount needed#so now nobody has either#and now i havr to get a perscription for something fu king else and thatll cause a shortage for the ppl who need that#so yeah#thanks telehealth companies for handing out adderal perscriptions like candy for students who want speed and for fucking weight. loss.#and now my adhd ass cant do shit#so#thats great
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oh im two years on t at some point before the months out lol
#crazy that ive done absolutely nothing transition wise besides that. and all its done is give me acne and stomach hair#thats a lie its done a lot. i just dont present or like go to the gym so its a bit minimized.#i need to set an apointment but idk she perscribed so much extra this month ig? cause i still have like three viles#betrer than running out ofc i just use that as a gauge
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not my silly ass taking antipsycchotics
#gill thinks(?)#been thinking this on repeat for the last hour or so its late im tired but im fixated on a project so#finaly got perscribed meds tho love you antipsychotics 😊
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i was supposed to have over-the-phone doctor appointment on monday except the doctor never called or called the next day so im trying to call the doctor’s office to rebook since they forgot about me ig but no one has answered the phone either of the 4 times ive called, all at different times 😵💫
#they dont like me i guess lol#its nothing serious just a follow up app. since i was perscribed triptans for my migraines#which have been much more managable lately! :)
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I have tried weed and drinking since coming here and they both suck and are boring. Xans do nothing to me and i like saving nitrous as a dentist treat. Adderall however... mwah
#it is perscribed in my name dont worry.#i dont take it for fun but when i do decide to math becomes the most fun thing in the world so its a win#my posts#its such a teensy tiny amount and i take it less than prescribed to keep a tolerance from building#like honestly it might be partly placebo but idc
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one thing they don't tell you about developing arthritis or whatever the fucl i have in your 20s is the pain makes you unable to do shit sometimes
im laying in bed wanting too clean my room but i cant bc my knees hurt too bad too want to stand.
idk whats even wrong w me tbh
#also to anyone followijg me thinkihg im talkijf alot now its bc cohost rewired me#im a poster now#anyways i wish i knew what was wrong w me but not too the point that i wanna go deeper in medical debt#bc earlier this year i had too take 2 trips too the hospital bc a cyst burst and the first time the dr gave me anti nausea pills and sent me#home. needless too say a couple hours later i was in the hospital lobby puking and laying on my side. THEN they perscribed pain killers#tldr#fuck drs especially male ones
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i took a handfull of vitamin d pills and it did not fix my brain!!
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im so sorry if i make some stupid posts later benadryl makes me high
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just got denied by a psych for not having enough medical records. bitch i havent had a pcp since i was 11
#tongue#like i had to jump thru so many fucking hoops just to get the stuff from when i went to crisis in like 2022#but she cant take just that since i cant track down every urgent care ive ever been to for paperwork#lile how is that even remotely relevant rn???#IM HERE FOR ANTIPSYCHOTICS WHY DO YOU NEED THAT SHIT#how does seeing my like 10 covid tests and sinus infection paperwork relate to my schizo ass PLEASE#IM GONNA WALK INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN#why is getting help actually the most annoying process ever#like i either get dumb fucks not knowing anything or perscribing me shit i know doesnt work for me#like indidnt say it when it happened but the one i finally got into doesnt understand autism whatsoever#and literally tried to get me to stop being into my special interest bc its 'effecting my mental state'#brother you wont pry petscop out of my cold dead hands#its almost like being affected by the thing you love more than anything in the whole world is completely fucking normal for autistics#god im just gonna get a referal from planned parenthood when i go for my 3 month hrt check in 😑
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