#its one of my dumbest insecurities

[lenny-zesty]

not knowing how someone else thinks of me is so scary and also really sad. someone who i've been friends with for literal years could have "dniuc" in their status and i just can't say anything because i don't know if that person views us as close. or i'll want to interact with someone really cool by sending them an ask or reblogging with silly tags but my brain immediately assumes "what if they think im annoying as all hell maybe i should be quiet instead".

[gojonanami]

I WANNA SHOW YOU OFF - SATORU GOJO

✴︎ summary: aka sugar daddy! gojo. when you accompany your friends to a bar rich men and women frequent, you catch the eye of a certain white-haired rich man, who is more than willing to spoil you -- in more than one way. ✴︎ contents: 18+, a lot of smut, fluffy, sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, virgin!reader, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f! + m! receiving), but w/ feelings, semi-public sex, sex in a changing room, lingerie, nipple play, first time sex ✴︎ wc: 9,065

This had to be the dumbest idea you had let yourself be convinced to do. 

You sat in a bar, nursing a soda instead of a drink (because it was all you could afford), and you glanced at your group of friends who had all split off to chat up a different man. And meanwhile, there you were, at the bar alone. 

Your friends had seen a video or article online with a list of places that rich men tended to frequent, and after another dinner of instant ramen and looking at your dwindling bank account, you let yourself be dragged along to this bar.

You were surprised how easy it was for you all to be let in, but you supposed young clientele also helped to attract the rich ones the bar was really after. It was the perfect place to find a sugar daddy, or mommy. In your case, you were hoping to just find someone who would pay your bills month to month and possibly your tuition. But now you were just hoping someone would talk to you, much less anything else. 

You had sat here for about twenty minutes, and not a single person had approached you — you had felt a few men and women alike eye you, but none had spoken even a word to you. Heat crept up your cheeks and insecurities bit at your nerves as you stirred your drink absentmindedly — you were such an idiot— you should have just stayed in today, snuggled up in bed and watched Netflix—

“Mind if I sit here?” And your gaze snaps from your flat soda, ocean blue eyes stopping your breath in its tracks, his lips curled in all too tempting smile, and his snowy locks just tousled enough to look natural. 

“Not at all,” you manage to say, surely you were gonna catch flies if you didn’t pick up your jaw off the floor. He was gorgeous — as he slid into the stool beside you, his baby blue button up showed off his toned physique, his sleeves rolled up, as he looked over the menu. 

“Can I order you a drink?” a smile on his lips as he offered you the menu — non-presumptuous and didn’t order your drink for you — was he even real? 

“Just another soda, I don’t drink often, and I’m the designated driver for tonight,” though, as you glanced at your groupchat, you didn’t think many of your friends would be making it back tonight, at least not with you. 

“A woman after my own heart— two sodas please,” he ordered, “I’m not a huge fan of alcohol either. I prefer things that are sweet,” and his gaze slides over your body, “are you?” 

And you flush, trying to look nonchalant as your drinks arrive, “Take a guess,” and he hums, as he takes a careful sip of his drink, eyeing you. 

“Oh sweetheart, I don’t guess — I intend to know,” your eyes snap to his, playful mirth in his eyes, “and if you have a price, I’m more than willing to pay it,” he places his platinum credit card on the bar, sliding it to the bartender, “start a tab for me and the beauty right here,” he flashed a wink at you. 

Even though this is exactly what you had come “You don’t have to—“ 

“But I want to,” he leans forward, his lengthy fingers brushing against your hand, giving you ample time to withdraw, but you don’t, your fingers intertwining with his, his thumb rubbing against your knuckles, “you deserve to be taken care of, sweetheart,” 

You bite your lip, “and how do you know that? You don’t know me,” 

And he tilts his head, a wry grin on his face, “I know enough, baby, and I know that I want to be the one to take care of you,” he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing it against your palm, “now what do you say? I’m sure we can reach an agreement that you’d enjoy,” and his other hand brushes your thigh lightly, “and that I’d enjoy as well,” 

Your lips part as you stare at him — he could have anyone he wanted, that much was clear — the wealth, the affluence, not to mention his charm and looks — but he wanted you. 

And who were you to say no? 

He dropped you home that night, having his driver fetch your car for you after. You both sat in the back of his town car, his hand resting on your thigh, as he spoke to you, his breath warming your skin, as he leaned against you. He didn’t ask to come in or to take you to his place, instead he helped you out of his car, walking you to your apartment’s doorstep. His fingers resch inside his coat pocket, and handed you his business card, his personal number scrawled on the back. 

His fingers ghost over your jaw, as he tilts your chin up, the low buzz of the overhead light drowned out by your heart thumping against your ribcage, “Call me, ok?” And you nod wordlessly, breath hitching as he drew close. 

“Good girl,” he smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead, “I’ll talk to you soon,” he winks, before heading back to his car, “you won’t regret it.” 

But here you sat, staring at his business card the next morning, the only proof that what happened wasn’t a dream, as you lie awake, staring at the number typed into your phone. 

Satoru Gojo. 

How do you do this? Hey it’s the person you hit on at a bar and propositioned to be a sugar baby? 

But you couldn’t get him out of your head — it wasn’t just the money, he was…smooth. 

Fuck it. 

You go to text him, but fate is cruel, and you hit the call button by mistake. You end the call quickly, and contemplate throwing your phone out the window, when your phone starts flashing with the exact number you had called. 

Double fuck. 

You panicked, as it rang, then taking a breath and picking the call up, “Hello?” 

“Gotta hand it to you, sweetheart, didn’t think you’d be so bold to call me,” Satoru is chuckling over the line, the sounds of the road in the background, and it was clear he was driving somewhere, “but it’s a pleasant surprise,” 

“Is it?” you ask, and he hums, a noise that sends heat across your cheeks. 

“Very,” he cuts to the chase, cutting over any of the silence that could linger, “could we have dinner tonight?” 

“Tonight?” 

“I don’t like to waste time when it comes to things I want,” and you’re glad he can’t see you — your knuckles pressed against your lips, “are you free?” 

“I am,” you say slowly, “but I wanted to ask, after dinner what would the expectations be?” You had no idea how any of this worked, what the arrangement would be, or how it would be handled. 

“There are no expectations except for your time,” he says, “we can take this at your pace, your rules, your limits - we are getting to know each other, and we both happen to want more, I’d be more than happy to make that happen,” and his words nearly make you shiver, “does that sound good, princess?” 

“Perfect,” you murmur, and he chuckles, “what time—” 

“7:00 PM — I’ll send a car for you. I have your address noted, and I have a little dress picked out for you if you’re comfortable with that?” 

You hold your burning cheeks, “Sounds too good to be true,” 

And he hums, “Well, perfect,” he echoes you, “because that’s what we both are.” 

The car is prompt when picking you up, and your roommates help you get ready — thoroughly jealous when they see a selfie the two of you had taken that night. And then the doorbell rings, and the three of you are rushing towards the door. 

“Tell us everything don’t miss a detail,” your roommates yell-whisper, “hot, charming, and so rich? I hate you,” 

And you shush them opening the door, as Satoru stands in a blue button up, simple slacks, and a grin that made your knees nearly buckle, “Well I am rich, she ain’t lying,” he offers you a bouquet of flowers — your favorites, all arranged perfectly, “and I’d like to think I’m the others as well,” 

“Satoru, they’re beautiful,” you inhale their scent, before you furrow your brow, “how did you know—“ 

“Lucky guess,” he smiled, fingers finding your own, “I guess we have the same taste in flowers, beautiful — great minds,” and he plucks the flowers and hands it to your roommates, “please take care of these, and I’ll be sure to take care of your gorgeous friend,” 

And he’s whisking you into the car, opening the door for you, as he slides in beside you, his arm sliding behind you, “do you mind?” 

And your heart squeezes, he’s so close, you could smell his cologne — a musky, amber smell mixed with his own scent — his strong arm brushing against your back, and as you peered up at him, a smile on his parted lips, as he stared at you with his cerulean gaze. 

“Not at all.” 

God, you were in trouble. 

“How’d you like this to work, sweetheart?” And you nearly choke on your drink at his blunt question, dinner now finished, as the two of you wait for dessert, his lips curled in his perfect smile as always, “I just want us to have an understanding, so I don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” 

You shake your head, “No, you’re right,” dinner had gone on fine — the restaurant he picked was impeccable, the prices must have been astronomical (not a single price on the menu itself), and the atmosphere of the corner booth gave the perfect illusion of privacy, “we should talk about it,” 

The financial aspect is simple enough — he offers a stipend that was more money than you could fathom and even consider accepting — but after discussion, you settle on him paying for your tuition and other educational needs as well as a monthly stipend. 

“But this doesn’t include anything I choose to treat you to,” he smiles, fingers toying with the hem of the dress, making you almost shiver under his touch, “like this dress or this dinner,” 

“Fine,” you smile, gaze still shying away, “there’s still the matter of what I do for you,” you bite your lip, swirling your drink in its glass, “I’ve never done this before,” you admit, tucking a stray strand behind your ear, and he tilts his head. 

“Nooo, I would have mistaken you for a pro,” he teases, and your cheeks flush, as you sip your drink, mostly for bravery  — that was true, you had never done the sugar daddy thing — but that wasn’t what you meant. 

“I mean that too, I’ve never had this sort of arrangement, but,” you toy with the napkin spread across your lap, “I’ve also never…been with anyone before,” 

And he pauses mid-sip of whatever fruity drink he had ordered — more juice than alcohol (he didn’t prefer the taste of liquor), “At all?” 

You flush, swallowing thickly, as your eyes looked down at your lap, “I’ve been on dates, but never beyond hand holding — I’ve never let it get beyond that,” you never had much an interest, and the people you were interested in had never truly reciprocated— until, you glance at Satoru, now. 

He sets his glass down, his lips curled, “but with us — you think there’s a chance that—“ and you squirm under his gaze, “of well—“ 

And his gaze softens, “You never have to feel obligated to do that — no matter what we agree on for what I can do to help accommodate you, I don’t want you to feel like I’m paying a price for your body,” before he adds with a cheeky smile, “unless that turns you on,” 

You huff a laugh out, chewing on your lip, “I appreciate that, but,” you finish the rest of your drink, before sliding closer in the booth, your thigh pressing against his, “I want to know what it’s like,” and you lean forward, all too close, but he dares even closer. 

His fingers find your jaw, tilting your gaze up, “And you’re sure, Princess?” his breath warms your lips, and you can smell the sweet smell of his drink on his, “there’s no rush,” 

“Who said anything about rushing?” you murmur, and you don’t know if it's the intoxication from the alcohol or from Satoru Gojo himself, but your lips graze his first, barely even. Your lips parted as you brushed your lips for a moment, before sliding away a centimeter, “Satoru—”

But his lips find yours again, fingers cupping your cheek gently, thumb gliding along the soft slope of your cheekbone, “You’re right, you’re not something to be rushed,” he murmurs, words as smooth as velvet, “you’re something to be savored,” and his lips slide against yours, swallowing your gasp as he deepens the kiss with the tilt of your heads, before he’s pulling away, allowing you a moment, “does that mean I’m your first kiss?” 

And you nod, with kiss ruined lips parted and chest rising and falling, eyes half lidded with pleasure and excitement — all of which makes him want to kiss you breathless, kiss you silly until you have no thoughts but of him, “I’m sure I’m not yours,” you tease, a small smile on your lips, but a slight anxiety about your inexperience lingering in your words. 

He only chuckles, wrapping his arm around you to draw you closer, one hand cupping your jaw and the other sliding through your locks, “But you’re the only one that matters, sweetheart,” and he’s kissing you again, and your lips begin to learn the dance he was teaching you, as he steals your breath and sense in one fell swoop. And when his tongue asks for entrance, he swallows your gasp with a smile, as you part your lips for him. And you swear you almost hear him murmur, “good girl,” between fevered kisses and touches.

Now, his body leaning into you, pressing you against the plush leather of the booth, his hand rested on your thigh now, toying with the hem of the very same dress he had bought you, “Satoru,” you sigh, as your lips finally part a moment, foreheads resting against each other. His eyes take you in, kiss bitten red lips, your cheeks flushed. 

His lips kiss your cheeks, and then your forehead, “I think I should take you home,” his thumb rubs against your lips, pulling at the bottom one.

“What about dessert?” and he shakes his head. 

“There’s only one dessert I’m craving at the moment,” he murmurs, crystal eyes lidded with lust, as he cups your cheek, “and I wouldn’t be keeping my promise if I indulged, now would i?” 

“And if I offered…dessert?” and he makes a noise — a cross between a hiss and a sigh, before shaking his head. 

“I want to do this right,” he murmurs, “I know this isn’t a relationship, but it’s like one — and I want you to enjoy it, and if we rush into things, you may end up getting hurt, and not in the enjoyable way,” he pinches the soft flesh of your thigh teasingly, “let’s get you home, princess, and we can plan our next outing, and our next step,” 

And you rise, as he helps you out of the booth, as the waiter comes over, “Have you changed your mind about dessert?”

Satoru hands him his card, paying off the tab without even a glance at the receipt, “Yes, I had something far more sweeter and satisfying,” he winks at you, as he pockets his card again. He escorts you to the car, hand resting on the small of your back, his side pressed to yours, as if he was afraid you’d slip away any moment. 

The car ride home was spent with quiet conversation and stolen kisses, your hand slid up his thigh to tease him, as his lips slide over a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, both of you moaning lowly, as he stares at you with lidded eyes, “You sure you’ve never done this before?” 

“Promise,” you flush, a rush of pride settling into heat as you saw the way he looked at you, before your lips find his again, “but you make me never want to stop,” and he growls lowly, leaning forward his hand snaking around your waist to nearly pin you down on the seat. 

“Say more words like that and I may lose the hint of self control I have,” he groans, and he’s kissing you again, his tongue slipping into your mouth again, as you slide your hand into his hair, finding smoothness underneath his white locks — an undercut, fuck. 

“Maybe I want you to,” you murmur, and he pulls back to look at you with his crystal gaze, dark pools of lust that made you shiver, his fingers digging into your waist. 

“Don’t tempt me,” and he’s about to kiss you again, when the driver clears his throat, and the two of you glance out the tinted window and realize you have arrived back home. And the fact of the matter was the car hadn’t been moving for quite some time. 

You bite your lip, “Do you want to—” 

And he kisses you softly, his fingers tracing over your jaw, “I want to, but we should take this slow,” he presses another kiss to your cheek that only serves to make me pout, “it will be worth it,” and he leans in to kiss your other cheek, but you turn your head to meet his lips in another kiss, making his breath catch, as you pull away with a smirk. His lips parted, as his gaze darkens, “such a tease, princess — I was thinking you were an angel that I was corrupting, but maybe you’re the one doing the corrupting.” 

“As I should be,” you grin, before pulling open the door, moving to slide out of the car, “call me?” 

“If I don’t, I can always count on you calling me first,” he teases with a wink, “I’ll call tomorrow, dream of me, ok?” 

“And if I don’t?” and he laughs, leaning forward with that smile that always made your heart stammer in your chest. 

“Oh, you will.” 

“Satoru,” you whined, “can we—” 

“So impatient,” Satoru chides, chuckle rumbling from his chest, voice deliciously raspy from the makeout session they had just had, “forgot how needy you are, baby,” 

And how could you not be? Splayed across his lap, your back pressed to his chest, thighs spread across his now very damp slacks, your dress riding up on either side as his hands slid up your bare legs, his touch teasing enough to have you on edge, your panties growing more drenched by the moment. 

“I need—” 

“You don’t know what you need,” Satoru murmurs, as his fingers brush your hair aside, “do ya, baby? You just want—” and his fingers finally tease your inner thigh, “more, don’t you? Such a greedy little princess,” 

“Only for you,” and that makes him groan in your ear, his lips pressing a kiss behind it, before sucking at your earlobe, “please, Satoru,”

“We have a shopping trip planned, baby, gotta get you some new clothes for our little vacation, don’t we?” He hums, his fingers toying with the edge of your panties, “especially since you keep ruining all of yours,” 

“You’re the one ruining them, baby,” you pout, your lips pressing wet kisses along his jaw, “I know we promised to take it slow, but please, I’ve been so good— don’t I deserve a little reward?” 

He hums, two fingers pulling and snapping the elastic of your panties against your skin, “Let’s go shopping and I’ll see about your reward, Princess,” and your lips purse, as he chuckles, lips pressing against yours, “don’t worry it will be worth the wait.” 

And it was. 

That was how you ended up in this particular predicament, pressed against a changing room wall, the black dress he had insisted on you trying on for him, hiked up around your waist, as his thumb pressed against your puffy clit. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, pretty baby?” Satoru coos, his finger beginning to press against the growing wet patch on your panties, “wanted to reward you, and you look so pretty and perfect in this dress, how can I resist?” 

And a whine leaves your throat, and he tuts, “Not so loud, don’t want the other shoppers to hear what we’re doing,” and his fingers finally pull aside the crotch of your soaked underwear, “you’re so fuckin’ wet, baby, you sure this pussy is a virgin?” 

“Satoru, please,” and he pulls your lips into a sloppy kiss, all tongue and teeth, right as his finger finally sinks into your needy cunt. He swallows your moans eagerly, as his thick finger curls against your gummy walls, reaching places you were never able to by yourself. 

“So fuckin’ tight, sweetheart, gonna break my finger, how would I fit my cock in this tight cunt?” And he drags his bulge against your ass, making you gasp at the size of it, “Gonna have to stretch it out, make you nice and loose for me,” 

“Fuck,” you whisper, and he’s grinning as his lips press sweet kisses against your neck, his finger pumping in and out slowly, your slick squelching as he does, finger brushing against that spot that has your knees nearly buckling, “Satoru, I—“ 

“Already gonna cum, baby?” he’s humming, while your lips try and fail to pout, mouth falling open in a silent moan as your walls flutter around his finger, as he fucks you through your orgasm.

But he’s not stopping, as your hand reaches for him, he’s caught you by the wrist, a second finger sinking into your dripping cunt now, “not done with you yet, pretty baby, I know you got more left for me,” he’s scissoring and stretching your walls - curling his fingers just right so he hits that special spot of yours. And it isn’t long until you’re cumming again, his hand covering your mouth, muffling your moan as you ride his fingers. 

“Satoru, please,” you’re nearly crying from the overstimulation, but you’re refusing to use your safe word, as he guides you and him to the seat in the fitting room, sitting on his lap right across from the mirror. 

“Look at you, all fucked out and pretty for me,” his fingers under your chin forces you to look at yourself —- your cunt dripping and spread open, his fingers plunged inside you still, your slick dripping down his hand, “so perfect for me,” he murmurs, “think you have one more for me?” 

His fingers move slowly, parting your walls, making you gasp, “Too sensitive,” you whine, but he’s sliding your lips against yours again, as his fingers begin to push into you, “Satoru,” 

“C’mon baby, this is your reward,” he’s grinning against your lips, “just relax and enjoy it,” 

And you don’t know how many more times he makes you cum. By the end, the dress you’re wearing was ruined, damp from the cum dripping down your thighs, “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” he’s cleaning you up, before sliding your underwear back into place, “now let’s find some other clothes for you, baby — need to get you out of this dress now, don’t we?” 

“Do you want to stay over?” Satoru murmurs, his lips pressed to your neck, making you pause, “I’d stay over at your place, but with your roommates we’ll have an audience,” and he adds, “unless you’re into that,” 

And you roll your eyes, before smiling, “what would staying over entail?” 

“Anything you’d want it to,” he’s kissing your cheek, and then your jaw, and then your lips,“I just want to wake up with you — maybe make breakfast together, maybe a little more if you want to,” 

“That sounds perfect,” and you knew just what you wanted for breakfast. 

“Princess,” he hissed, his ocean blue eyes half lidded as he stared at you between his thighs, “this isn’t what I meant when I said I’d make you breakfast,” 

And you pressed a kiss to his weeping tip — you never expected a cock to be so pretty — but why wouldn’t it be on Satoru Gojo? If a higher being existed, it gave with both hands when it came to him — the tip was flushed red, every vein and curve was perfect, and it was so long. 

“Well this was exactly what I had in mind,” you grinned, your tongue flicked against his slit, collecting the pearl of precum resting there, “couldn’t wait to taste you, Toru — if I couldn’t have you fuck my cunt, I might as well have you fuck my mouth,” 

He swallows thickly at your words, adam’s apple bobbing, crystalline pools clouded with lust, “Careful what you wish for, Princess,” 

“I’m always careful,” you suckle at the swollen tip of his cock sloppily, drawing a moan from his lips. It was clear you were inexperienced — your lips and tongue were clumsy, your fingers grasping at his base were unsure, but the heat in your eyes only made all of your inexperience all the more arousing, “tell me what to do,” 

And Satoru swallows thickly, eyes fluttering down at you, as his lips slowly curl, “start by sucking at the tip, slowly at first,” and you do just as he says, all too eager, making him liable to cum on the spot, “now trace the slit at the tip with your tong—” and he grunts as you’re already doing as he says before his sentence is done, “good girl,” and the praise sends a wave of heat through your body, your needy cunt growing wetter by the second.

“Now, want you to slide my cock into your mouth, mind your teeth,” he warns, “no rewards for bad girls who bite my dick — that’s a lesson for a different day,” he adds with a wink, making you hum around his cock, making it twitch, as you take more of his length, slowly sliding it further into your warm mouth. 

He’s grunting, holding himself back from fucking your mouth then and there — there would be time for that, but right now, he needed to teach you right. 

He was a teacher — first and foremost. 

“Just like that, pretty,” he’s moaning, his fingers gently gripping your head, guiding your mouth up and down his cock, “that’s it — fuuuuck—” and he’s hissing when your fingers toy with his balls, as your tongue traces over his veins, forcing every muscle in his thighs from having you deep throat his cock then and there, “now can you—” 

And you suck at his cock, lips wrapped around, as you stare up at him, eyes lidded with lust, thighs pressed together, as you slurped at his cock, your tongue flicking at his slit, “baby, you sure you’ve never done this before?” and his hips begin to stutter against you, making you gasp around his length, “so fucking perfect for me, baby — know what I like without even trying,” 

And how is he this fucking close already? Is he the virgin or are you? His hips roll into your mouth shallowly, your fingers finding what couldn’t fit in your mouth and stroking it, all while his fingers grasp at the mussed sheets below him, “fuck, sweetheart, ‘m s’close,” and you’re only re-doubling your efforts, cheeks hollowing around him, “you don’t have to—“ but you suck at the tip, tongue laving at his length, and he’s spurting his load down your throat. 

His head falls back, as his hips stutter into your mouth, fingers tugging at your hair, drawing a moan from your lips. And his half lidded eyes falling to your lips around his cock, his cum slipping down the corner of your mouth as you continue to swallow.

“Fuck, baby,” he’s panting, hissing at the sight of you as you pull your lips away from his length, strings of his cum and your spit connecting your mouth to his cock, “such a good fucking girl,” he says, nearly a growl, “my good fucking girl,” 

You’re smiling up at him, watery eyes, as your tongue darts out to clean up his release from your mouth, making his breath catch, “You taste so good, Toru,” and god, you’re so cute — he wanted to spoil you, buy you the whole world and more, and he catches your thighs rubbing together — but first— 

And he’s manhandling you, fingers sinking into your thighs and he’s flipping you onto your back, his chest still heaving, sweat glistening on his forehead, and a grin on his lips. 

“My turn,” he murmurs, sliding his lips against yours, tongue tasting his release on your mouth, before kissing down your body, before he’s settling between your thighs. 

—he was going to have his breakfast. 

The semester wore on and Satoru became more and more busy with work. His messages became few and far between, and your time together dwindled to nothing. Although he still sent the stipend each month, you found your thoughts wandering to him far too often — daydreams between paragraphs of reading and review for an exam that you didn’t particularly care about. 

This should be the dream right? Money for essentially no effort. You had long forsaken the days of ramen noodle dinners and scraping by on your loans — you should be happy. You could go where you wanted, do what you wanted — but why was the only place you wanted to be was with Satoru? You pulled out your phone, refreshing the notifications over and over as if it would change the outcome — but it didn’t — still no new messages from him. 

Was he really busy with work? Anxiety begins to creep into your mind — or was he busy with someone else? Had he been hanging onto you on the back burner — waiting for someone better to come along? You open Satoru’s text chain — the last message sent was your own — and you chew on your bottom lip. 

Were you about to break your own rule about double texting? 

You type — Hey, just wanted to check on you. Been thinking about you a lot. 

You delete it. Is this desperate? What if he thinks you’re desperate? You’re running your hand over your face, pressing your knuckles against your lips.  

Fuck it. You type the same message and send it. 

Oh, it’s worse. Texting and having to wait for a response is worse — and now you simultaneously want to constantly check your phone and also chuck it in a lake. You lay back on your bed, turning and burying your face in your pillow. 

What the fuck were you doing? 

Several hours pass, and you place your phone in the kitchen, as you sit in your room, trying to focus on studying for your exams, instead of thinking about whether Satoru texted you back or not. You finally allow yourself a break at dinner time, and wander out, spotting a few texts from Satoru. Your heart squeezes as you pick up your phone and check. 

Hey baby, is that your way of saying you miss me? 

Because I miss you too. 

When’s your last exam? 

You bite back a smile — it’s on this Friday — I’ll be done at 6:00 PM. 

He types, and then stops, then types again, and then stops. Then he sends a simple “ok.” 

And you don’t hear from him again, which only makes the rest of the week a delight to get through. You’re sure you scraped by on your exams — Friday didn’t come soon enough, but it had arrived. You stretch as you leave the exam hall — bundled up in your jacket, as you make your way back to your apartment. But only, you're not the only one outside the building. 

Satoru stands, leaning against the side of the car, eyes on his phone as he stands in a long deep gray winter coat, a cream sweater underneath, looking utterly too perfect. He glances up, cerulean blue eyes finding yours, lips curling in a smile that you hoped was only reserved for you. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” and you’re holding yourself back from running, quickly walking over, and he’s closing the gap as well, pulling you into his arms, his arms sliding over your jacket — “is this all you’re wearing? We need to buy you a warmer coat,” 

“Satoru,” you’re shaking your head at his priorities, your fingers sliding over his front before sliding them under his jacket, “what are you doing here?” 

“Well, my project finished up earlier today, so I spent the day preparing a little surprise,” he’s tilting your chin up, leaning down to brush his lips against your jaw, and you shiver — most assuredly not from the cold, “we’re going on a trip,” 

“A trip?” you blink, utterly too distracted by his lips placing wet kisses up and down your jaw, nearing your lips, but always stopping short, “where—” 

“A hot spring — I thought we could use some rest and relaxation,” his lips hover right over your own, his thumb dragging down your bottom lip, “and some privacy — I reserved us a private hot spring,” and his palms slide down to your hips and squeeze, “just you and me,” 

“That sounds amazing — wonder what else you have planned,” your lips lean up and brush against his, making his curl into a smile, and your heart stirs — god, you didn’t care about the money, about the amenities, about the dates — he could have just taken you for a walk and you’d be happy by his side, “I missed you so much, Toru,” 

And he’s kissing you again, his hand sliding back to hold the back of his neck, deepening the kiss before he pulls away. You’re panting as he does, lips kiss bitten red, “I did too, baby, it was so difficult being without you — kept thinking about seeing you. I had to hold myself back from seeing you the minute you texted,” he’s sighing, “but that’s why I thought this weekend would be perfect — spend it just with each other, no distractions,” 

“Toru,” you murmur, “I need to tell you something,” you can’t hold back — you need to tell him, you need him to know, and his lips press into a pout, forehead wrinkled, “I think I have feelings for you — more than what our relationship should have,” your cheeks flush, eyes falling to the ground, and you watch your breath warm the cold air, “I don’t know if you feel the same or if we should stop, but I needed you to know because I—” 

And his finger rests against your lips, eyes nearly shining in the moonlight, “You really mean that, sweetheart?” and you swallow the lump in your throat, before nodding. And he grins, before his lips find yours in a bruising kiss, pulling you impossibly closer, wrapping you in his jacket as he presses himself against you, “I have feelings for you too — I have for a while,”

“You—do?” you manage between kisses and breathes, and you look up at him with wide eyes and parted lips — and you’re so impossibly cute — he has to hold himself back from taking you against his car then and there — “Satoru, please—” 

“I do, I do, sweetheart, you said you’ve never done any of this before, well I’ve never done half of the things I’ve done with you,” he murmurs, a chuckle caught in his words, “do you think I’d plan a trip like this for just anyone? I’ve never even engaged in this sort of relationship before — until I saw you,” 

You pause, mouth agape, “So you’ve never had a different—” 

“You’re my one and only baby,” he teases, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead, “and worth every cent, second, and effort I’ve used,” And you bite back a smile, eyes slightly glassy, “what?” 

“I thought — I don’t know, when I hadn’t heard from you, I thought you had found someone else, that you were going to leave, and it just seems so silly now,” you shake your head, but he’s cupping your chin, meeting your gaze. 

“It is silly, baby,” he’s pressing another kiss to your lips, “because I’d never leave you — and I’m not planning on it, are you?” 

“No! No, of course not,” and he laughs at your eager reply, making your cheeks hot, as he’s burying his face in the side of your neck, “Toru—” 

“At this rate, you’re gonna make me fall for you, princess,” and your fingers card through his hair, grinning as kisses your neck, and you make him look at you — pale skin flushed from the weather or your touch, it could be either. 

“That’s the plan.” 

“Was this part of your plan?” Satoru’s voice is caught, as looks at you — oh and he could look at you forever. 

Your innocent lips painted pink, a perfect accent to the light cerulean lingerie that you had wrapped yourself in. The lace and see through panels left almost nothing to the imagination, but at the same time, hid just enough. You were a present ready to be unwrapped — and you wanted him to do the unwrapping. 

“You tell me,” you chuckle, twirling a strand of your hair between your fingers, letting your legs spread further apart, making him drop the bouquet he was holding, “nothing to say?” 

It had been a few weeks since your trip away and you had been hinting at wanting to finally have your first time with Satoru. But each time, he always ended up fingering you or sucking you off — he was hesitant, he didn’t want you to regret your choice. 

But how to explain that you could never regret him? Well, this was the only way to think of — a hammer instead of a gentle hand. 

And his gaze grows lidded, mouth dry, as he steps forward, “sweetheart—“ 

“You kept saying you wanted our first time to be special, but you don’t get it—“ you reach out and tug him closer by his tie, “my first time will always be special if it’s you,” you kiss his jaw, smiling, and he’s wordless as he stares at you, hesitancy eating away at your confidence “but if you don’t want—“ 

And he’s got you pinned under him, knee pressed between your thighs, his fingers sliding up and down your exposed skin of your sides, his perfect lips curved in a smile, “I guess we’re really not understanding each other, baby,” his lips ghost over the nape of your neck, as he inhaled deeply, before pulling back, his thumb now dragging over your lips, “I want you — badly,” and his fingers tease the fabric of your lingerie, “you don’t know how many times I’ve come close to giving into you, to wanting to just fuck you like I’ve dreamed about, fantasized about — but, I guess I was waiting for a perfect moment that didn’t exist — since every moment with you is special, right?” He teased, making you flush. 

“I want you too, Toru, so bad,” you rub yourself against his knee, “I can’t wait anymore, are you gonna fuck me or—“ 

His knee grinding against you cuts you off with a whine, “don’t tempt me so much, sweetheart, we gotta do this right,” his lips find yours again, all tongue and teeth, as he swallows your noises and more with pleasure, his knee rubbing against you in earnest, “gotta prep you right,” he murmurs reverently. 

His lips trail from your lips to press wet kisses to your jaw, and his fingers part your thigh further — and you let him with ease. And his lips tease the edge of your lingerie, “it’d be a shame to take this off, so maybe I’ll just take you in it,” his mouth closes over your clothed nipple, teasing it through the fabric, making you gasp,  “but then again, I wouldn’t  be able to see your body without any obstructions. Decisions, decisions,” 

And he’s snapping the shoulder strap against your skin, as he pulls his knee away, the dark damp patch on the fabric, “Plesse, Toru, I need more—“ and his lips curl, as his fingers tease your clothed cunt, two fingers dragging right down the slit. The wet fabric barely doing anything to stop the press of his pads against your sensitive folds. 

“So wet for me already, sweetheart? I’m flattered,” he grins, leaning down to inhale, before a soft moan leaves his lips, “your scent is as good as you taste,” making you keen against him at his words — you could never grow used to the sight of him between your thighs, his blue irises fixed on your cunt. 

“Just for you, Toru,” and he bites back a groan, his gaze half lidded with lust, “only for you,” 

He can’t wait anymore. 

He kisses up your body, teasing your bellybutton with his tongue, dragging his mouth up your abdomen until he reaches your lips. And he kisses you again, lips burning against yours, stealing any coherent thought with only a brush of his lips or a stolen touch of your thighs. But now his lips reach the waistband of your lacy panties, giving another broad lick, tasting you through the soaked material, before he’s sliding two fingers inside the elastic tugging it down your legs. 

“As much I love your lingerie — it needs to go,” and he’s sniffing the fabric with a small moan, before pocketing it with a wide grin,  “for now,” 

“Toru, those were expensive—“ 

“I know, my money paid for them,” he winks, making you shiver with a graze of his teeth against your inner thigh, “I’ll buy you as many as you like, as long I’m the only one taking them off,” his warm breath makes your cunt twitch as his fingers part your pussy, stretching out your walls — so fucking tight,  “s’pretty, all for me,” his thumb brushing against your clit, making you whine, “so needy, pretty girl — you need my cock that bad?” He’s thumbing your chin, making you meet his gaze and his cock throbs — you were already so fucked out — chest nearly heaving, your breasts nearly escaping their cups; your lips parted with pants and soft moans; and your eyes fixed on him, lidded and needy — it was enough for him to cum there and then. 

Was he the virgin or were you? 

“I’ll give you my cock, baby,” his tongue finally licks up your cunt, savoring the taste of you on his tongue — sweetest thing he’d ever had — “but I’m going to have your cunt first,” 

You’re a mess — moaning and twitching as your fingers grasp at his snowy locks, white strands between your fingers bury him deeper in your aching warmth, thighs nearly suffocating him — and he wouldn’t want to die any other way, honestly. Fuck, how is he so good at this? Two seconds, and you’re ready to squirt all over his face — the way his tongue drags against your insides and flicks against your clit, before sliding back into your sweet cunt, making your walls twitch around him. 

And he can’t help but grind against his sheets and mattress, surely leaving a stain on his pants — but fuck, he couldn’t help it. All he couldn’t help it — all he wanted to was sink into you, bury himself deep inside, until he made you cum over and over — but he wanted this to be good for you. 

It’s when his lips close around your clit and suck as your fingers sink into you once again and fuck you open when it’s all over for you. You’re moaning unabashedly now, your back arching and your legs trembling as you cum hard, his name on your lips in an almost scream, as he only eats you out through your orgasm, tongue lapping every drop of your release, as you come down from your high. Intense pleasure ebbs away to slight twitches and heavy pants, as you look down at him with fucked out eyes, his face absolutely covered in your glossy release, as his pink tongue darts out to collect the rest, back of his hand taking care of the rest, your cunt convulsing at the sight of him. 

“Know it was good, but didn’t realize it was that good,” and he’s leaning up, sliding off the bed to strip off his jacket before undo the buttons of his shirt’s cuffs, fingers deftly undoing his button-up now, “so perfect for me,” and he’s pulling his phone from his pocket, as he leans down to part your thighs for him, his gaze dark with lust as he snaps a few pictures of your leaking cunt, “such a pretty princess cunt,” and you hear the clink of his belt as he undoes it, your gaze lifting as your eyes raked over his defined abs and muscles, following all the way down to his v-line and below…

Fuck. 

You knew he was big — hell you could barely fit him in your mouth, but how the fuck was he going to fit inside you? And your nerves come back full force, but mixed with an excitement — an excitement and a relief that your first time — your first time would be with someone you loved, would be with someone that the word ‘love’ failed to encompass your feelings for. 

Even when he was a teasing ass. 

“Like what you see, baby?” he’s grinning, as he drags his engorged tip against your fluttering walls, smearing his pre-cum against yours, groaning as he watches it mix, “fuck, been dreaming about this for so long,” as he leans over you to press a kiss to your sweet lips, the lust mixing with love — an entire ocean of love that threatens to drown you if you look for too long, “are you sure?” the words are said with such concern, such care, such gentleness that it almost makes you want to cry — but you don’t know why. 

“I am, always, when it’s you,” and your fingers find his cheek, as you lean up to kiss him, his lips curved in a smile reserved for you. 

“Don’t go getting all soft on me now, sweetheart,” and you laugh. 

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you, old man—” and you gasp as he presses the tip against your entrance, waiting for your go-head to push in — but that doesn't mean he couldn’t make you eat your words. 

“What was that, baby?” it’s his turn to laugh and yours to pout, before you’re pulling him close again. 

“Satoru, please—” and your gazes meet again, and there’s no need for any more discussion. He moves slow, lining himself up, making sure he is lubricated enough to slip into you. 

“If I’m hurting you—-” 

“I’ll scream,” you tease, and he snorts. 

“I’d like to see you screaming for a different reason, but that works too,” and he’s leaning down to capture your lips once more, as he sinks into you slowly. Your lips part in a gasp, your expression twisting with the discomfort you felt, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t tolerate, and his eyes meet yours, as you give a nod, and inch by inch, he fits himself in you — until he finally bottoms out. 

You both groan, his fingers running through your hair, “So fucking perfect f’me, sweetheart,” and he’s not moving, letting you get used to him filling you up, “I know, it’s so much, isn’t it, baby? But you’re doing so well,” and his lips met yours again, as the slight discomfort ebbs away, all you feel is want, want as his tip finds your cervix, want as you feel your walls meld to his shape, and want when you hear the low groan stuck in his throat, “good girl, my best girl,” 

And you can’t help the desperate whine that parts your throat, “Please, move,” you nod, and that’s all he needs for him to pull back and thrust back in, pulling gasps and moans from your pretty lips. 

“That’s it, baby,” he grunts, as he falls into a rhythm, “fuck, your cunt is practically sucking me back in — getting the feeling you don’t want me to stop, sweetheart,” he’s pressing sweet kisses to your neck, in contrast to the dirty squelch of your cunt and the slapping of your hips with his as he fucked you. 

It felt so good. 

Your fingers find purchase on his neck, fingers dragging through his white locks and undercut, drawing him impossibly closer, as his lips close over one of your nipples, licking and sucking as he thrusted into you. And he’s guiding your legs around his waist, and your legs pull him ever closer — ever deeper — as he groans against you. He presses sloppy wet kisses along your collarbone, his groan vibrating against your skin. 

“Look at that, pretty girl, taking me so well,” he’s grunting, as he looks at where you two meet, watching himself sink into you over and over, “g’nna make you only want this cock — no one else’s — all mine,” and you’re so close — your head buried in the nape of his neck, and he could hear every pant, moan, gasp right as it left your mouth, “such pretty noises — never made these noises for anyone else, have you, baby? Just f’me,” 

And you nod, eyes fluttering shut, “Close, s’close,” pleasure building, like a coil ready to snap, you can’t find the words — “I’m—“ 

“Cum on my cock, Princess,” his fingers press down against your clit, rubbing and that’s it, “let me make you feel good,” 

Your walls clamp down hard his dick twitching in your cunt, a low groan leaving his lips, as he fucked you through your orgasm, and his hips stutter against you, low moans leaving his lips. 

It felt so right. Pleasure washing over you as your toes curled, your eyes nearly rolling back, as you came. And he can’t stand it much longer — 

“Where—“ he groans, your slick cunt too much for him, your cum drenching him, “I’m close—“ 

“Inside, please, I—“ and he gives a shaky chuckle. 

“So greedy, baby — want my cum too?” He kisses you, long and soft as he moaned your name far too loud, his warm, thick load spilling inside you, as he fucked it inside, “look at that, filled you up so good,” as he finally stills inside of you, as he eases out, groaning as he watches your mixed release slip from inside you and trickle down his balls, “s’good, so perfect for me,” 

He grabs a towel to clean you up, gently cleaning your thighs, murmuring sweet nothings. Before he leans down to press a kiss to your reddened lips. 

“Are you okay?” He runs his fingers through your hair, and you nod, as you cup his cheek. 

“I’m perfect,” you sigh, as he curls up beside you, burying his face in the nape of your neck, “and you?” 

“What’s more than ‘perfect?’” And you snort, before he’s leaning over you, “what?” 

“You’re such a dork,” 

“But I’m your dork, your very rich dork, who loves to spoil you,” and you laugh, pulling him close. 

“Just mine,” and he’s kissing you again. 

“Just yours.” 

And you find yourself at that same bar you did many moons ago. 

You nurse a soda, instead of a drink, because you didn’t care for the taste of alcohol. Habits die hard with the company you kept. You felt the gaze of several people on you, but none of them approached — and you didn’t mind one bit. 

“Mind if I sit here?” And you smile, stirring your soda with its straw, not bothering to look up at the sound of this very familiar voice. The same voice that had woken you up with several kisses to your neck this morning. 

“Not at all,” you reply, as you slide over his fruity drink — some concoction that is utterly too sweet — “you’re late,” 

Satoru sighs, swirling his drink in its glass. “Well, the business partners were particularly chatty. I think they knew we had dinner plans,” Satoru sips at his drink, pouting, as you comfort him with a chaste kiss to his cheek, “how’d the job interview go?” 

“I think they might give me the offer,” you smile, but you shrug, leaning against the surprisingly not sticky bar counter,  “I’m not too worried either way,” 

“I told you don’t have to work—“ 

“And I told you I want at least to work part-time to contribute something,” you remind him, as you lean close, fingers lacing with his with a squeeze, “don’t worry we will spend a lot of time together,” and he’s still pouting. 

“That’s not enough,” 

“Plenty?” And he relents, murmuring something about “that’s better,”, “where are we going for dinner anyway?” You raise an eyebrow, “such secrecy tonight,” 

“I have to keep you on your toes, sweetheart, can’t have you losing interest,” he smiles, as his fingers reach into his pocket, and you roll your eyes, unimpressed. 

“Never,” you roll your eyes, as he leans over and presses a kiss to his neck, and he’s finding your lips, fingers brushing your cheek, panting as he parts, “I know you’re trying to avoid the question.” 

And he only offers a grin, before he’s holding a ring before you, “take a guess,” 

You stare at it, blinking, your fingers covering your mouth, “Satoru—“ 

“I told you a long time ago here that I wanted to be the one to take care of you — and now I’m asking to take care of you forever,” and you can’t help but grin, “I’m sure we can reach another agreement — as long as you let me call you my wife,” 

And you’re already pulling him into your arms, lips sliding against his, as he melts into the kiss, “is that a yes?” 

You laugh, offering your hand, “put the ring on me,” and he does, sliding it onto your finger, smiling. 

“You won’t regret it,” and you kiss him again, pressing your forehead to his.  

“I know,” because saying yes to marrying Satoru Gojo was surely the smartest idea you’ve ever had.  

✴︎ a/n: s/o to @laneysmusings for being the best beta reader, and i was truly possessed with the idea of having gojo take care of me and hearing mei mei say that he's "so rich" and he's like " well, she ain't lying." I also didn't listen to agora hills while writing this fic, but i used all the edits of gojo to that song as insp for the title and header lol.

✴︎ taglist: @deegausserr, @satoryaa, @orianakira, @tinnkerbell, @laylasbunbunny, @aztecmoonwarrior, @empresslazingway, @chosoilysm, @idktbhloley, @lorain07, @dreampiies, @nestafarren, @daydreamermarimo, @hydraafk, @theonetheycallbatman, @soccasium, @clearlandchild, @indigoghnights, @cha-raena, @strawberiicreme, @thegreatandpowerfulloreothecat, @jgh15hog, @onlyangeltae, @satocidal, @mrsmoriarty-holmes, @arrloww, @kyyyynziee

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Some Kind of Disaster - Preview

Gally (TMR) x Fem!Reader

Concept: You saw Gally take a spear through the chest, and you are more than shocked to find him alive and well, in front of your eyes.

Preview Word Count: 970

If you like this preview, follow my writing blog @sundrop-writes and turn on notifications there as the full fic will be posted there sometime within the next few months when I have the time and energy to edit it. I may or may not make a TMR taglist, I'm not sure??

A/N: This is based entirely on the movie version of Gally, as I haven't read the books and don't plan on doing so. The title comes from an All Time Low song of the same name - which I would highly recommend listening to in order to get the vibes for this fic. Also apparently this is the same concept as a dozen other Gally fics, but I don't really care right now - because I got inspired to do it and it's entirely self indulgent, and this is my take on the concept lmao. I am currently on hiatus, but I've been working on fics as a form of stress relief during this time - but I haven't been editing fics. This fic will be posted after its edited sometime within the next month or two. (And there is already a sequel in the works, shhh.) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and feedback is much appreciated!

Warnings: the full fic will be smut, but this is more of a tease of that; the reader character uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; spoilers for the films if you haven't seen them; arguing that turns into kissing; Gally has a self-deprecating/insecure inner monologue; mentions of Newt x Reader (it's one-sided in this fic, but may be something more later on ;)); Gally being possessive, Gally being rough (but the reader likes it); mention of Gally masturbating to thoughts of the reader; implications of Gally being taller than the reader (which I think is likely for most people cause Will Poulter is pretty fuckin tall); technically virginity loss (but it's not a big focus of the fic) - it's more about two people naturally enjoying their first time together (and I wrote this the same way I would write a first time in a relationship with two slightly more experienced characters) - and also nothing majorly sexual comes up in this part; this section: heated kissing with intentions towards sex, and that's pretty much it.

...

“Look, I’m sorry I’m not like them, okay?”

He spat out these words bitterly when you didn’t speak, and this left you confused. “I’m sorry I’m not some dumb brave hero guy-” 

You reached out and roughly shoved the middle of his chest again. Unknowingly, this aggravated the healed scar where the spear had gone through him, sending a dull ache through him at having the tender pink skin so roughly prodded without his chest armor on this time. 

“You’re so stupid!” You barked back, utterly insulted by his words. 

He thought this was par for the course, that you would begin hurling more insults before storming out. He thought that you would tell him his supposed ‘death’ had been the best thing that had ever happened to you, and the longing looks Newt had given you were truly something more. 

“God, you’re so-!” 

You choked on your own words and tears welled up in your eyes, and you took a sharp breath before you continued. 

“You are that dumb brave hero guy!” You yelled back, speaking like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Gally gaped at you, and you continued. 

“What do you think all that was?” You gestured vaguely behind yourself, obviously speaking about the events earlier in the day - when he had rushed into heavy bomb fire to drag you and the others to safety. “That was the dumbest hero guy thing I have ever seen.” You said, putting a stain of emphasis on the word ‘dumb’, pinching his own phrasing for it right in the ass. 

“That was nothing, I just did that because you were in danger, and-” 

“And that’s exactly what Thomas would have done.” You replied, quickly cutting him off. “You’re every bit as good as him. You are.” 

There was a tense moment where you stared him down, deep contemplation knit across his features while you waited for him to agree with you. 

“I wasn’t when you left the Maze.” He added on, quiet guilt floating through his voice. “I wasn’t brave then. I was a coward. I couldn’t be what you needed-” 

“You have always been what I need, Gally. When will you get that through your thick shank skull?” 

You were done rehashing the past. 

You were done contemplating the details of what could have been. It hit you truly then - all that mattered to you now was the fact that Gally, your Gally was in front of you, somehow alive and well. And though it was something you never could have predicted, you wouldn’t let such a beautiful thing slip through your fingers. 

You reached out and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt, pulling him forward roughly. At the end of that jerking motion, he was met with your lips, and he sunk into the kiss without a second thought, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh that shouldn’t have suited him so well. Adding to that softness as he reached up to gently cup your cheeks while you gnawed at him with a feral passion. 

This is exactly what he had been waiting for. This was the reunion he had wanted all along. 

In a moment, the touch, your desperate grip on the front of his shirt, the way you ran your teeth along his bottom lip, edging toward something more - it triggered something within him. A possessive streak over you that had long been dormant; something once fueled by rage and jealousy and fear over the bad things that might happen to you if he wasn’t constantly looking over your shoulder. Now, it came from something much deeper. 

That immature love he had felt for you that had only grown and matured during your time apart, adding to a hungry passion for you now that he had you back in his arms - now that he could feel the heat of your skin, smell you, hear the whimpering patter of your breath and know that you were so damn real. (Not just another falsehood of his imagination with the details poorly filled in that he tried to soothe himself with, while he had a hand on his cock.) 

He was the one who charged at you this time, shoving you backwards and walking tightly with you, crowding you back until you hit a wall. You hadn’t truly taken in your surroundings, and if you had half a mind to, you would have noticed that this was some kind of dingy store room - used for scavenged spare parts for the vehicles and old guns that needed to be repaired in order to be put into use. 

But your brain didn’t take any of that in when your back made contact with the wall, Gally still kissing you fiercely, making you downright dizzy. You didn’t have time to think when one of his hands took a possessive hold on your thigh, hiking your leg up around his hip while his presence loomed over you, like the perfect protective wall you always felt that he was. He continued the heated liplock for a moment before he pulled away for air, and then, a particular query couldn’t be contained within you. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” You asked, half-teasing, still holding your death grip on his shirt. 

There was a particular hum between your thighs - something hot and beating and alive, a calling that demanded to be answered. You knew that you would be devastated if Gally stopped too soon or didn’t rise to that call. So you had to know what his intentions were now to prepare yourself for the potential disappointment. 

“Showing you how much I missed you.” He answered firmly, entirely certain, leaning in to capture your mouth again - pressing his whole body tightly against yours now. 

It sent a thrill through you - knowing that he would answer that call and thensome.

[dukeofdelirium]

This has to quite possibly be the dumbest Anti-Aang I’ve seen on Tumblr. “Aang didn’t go out of his way for anyone”. Like that’s objectively wrong, factually incorrect. Like saying The Earth is flat, you can think it all you want, but it ain’t true. I ask you, I genuinely ask you, how can someone call themselves a fan of this show when they completely misinterpret it and hate the main character this much? This person’s crazy.

Aang never went out of his way for anyone? My god, if this take were true, Zuko would have been dead at the end of season one. Everyone aside from Aang was fine with the idea of allowing Zuko to freeze to death, leaving him to die. Aang was the one that saved him.

Holy shit, the first thing Aang ever offered to do with no expectation of anything in return was to offer Sokka and Katara a ride home before they died themselves stranded in the tundra. He then offered to take Katara to the other side of the world to fulfill her dreams. When he was banished from her village, he left without protest and even said he didn’t want to come between Katara and her family. Even when he was sad to leave because he had just made a first friend in who knows how long (seeing as we know he was ostracized at the temple), he still left.

He then came back not to break the banishment but to save their lives. He offered himself up, LITERALLY sacrificed himself for them, with no expectation of anything in return.

Aang is an extremely compassionate, good natured person. He is the most “altruistic” character in the show, followed only by Katara who comes nearly as close (one of the reasons they are so good together).

He singlehandedly put the fires out on Kyoshi Island that ZUKO SETS, he protects the NWT from invasion in every possible way he can and singlehandedly wipes out their fleet when he gives himself over to the ocean spirit, he demands they search for Bumi NOT because he needs a teacher but because bumi is his FRIEND! He saves everyone in the cave by making sure they don’t get fucking crushed with its collapse, he is willing to sacrifice himself and force himself into the Avatar State to win the war because he is that guilt ridden even when the AS is extremely painful and traumatizing to him, he stops this only when it affects Katara because he loves her, he offers to let Toph run away with them not because he wants to use her as a teacher but because he listened to her life story and wishes to help her feel free, he fucking dies for Katara and sacrificed his own love for her to save her life

he tries to shoulder every burden he feels on his own as a means to protect the other characters

he supports Sokka when he voices insecurities, he is welcoming and friendly to Hakoda and even inquires about how Katara is feeling when he meets Hakoda, he sobs during the eclipse invasion because Katara and Sokka have to be separated from their father again and Aang blames himself for this defeat and is grief stricken because he is so upset they are losing their dad again (and he thinks it’s his fault)

Why the actual fuck would Katara ever “choose” Zuko over Aang?

Katara was never deeply tied to Zuko. She always saw him as an enemy trying to take away the boy she loved. This is why she threatened to fucking kill him.

Zuko helped his sister murder Aang right in front of Katara’s eyes. It was canonically the darkest period of her life.

Katara’s anger and hatred toward Zuko is 100% justified. Of course, Zuko is a self absorbed ass, so he claims her anger isn’t justified and that she’s just projecting. Her anger toward him specifically had far more to do with what he did to Aang and far less to do with what the Fire nation and Zuko’s family did to her mother. Even still, she’s right to be angry about her mother’s murder too, and Zuko’s piece of shit family is responsible.

Why the fuck would Katara magically drop to her knees and suck Zuko’s dick? He’s literally a colonizer for over 2/3 of the show. He didn’t just have a passive role, he was an active player in the war and invaded the NWT with the FN as a means to capture Aang and take him back to his daddy, where Aang would have undoubtedly been tortured mercilessly and kept on the brink of death. He assaulted Katara during this and knocked her unconscious, he taunted her with shitty words and undermined her bending ability and threw some racial/classist remarks as well as some misogynistic ones her way.

When he eventually did get his shit together and join the group, he just used her mother’s death against her and Sokka because that’s all he ever did in regards to Katara and Sokka’s mother. He learned how she died, then had Sokka divulge trauma to then use said trauma to try and force Katara to forgive him by persuading her to go on a suicide mission of revenge and bloodlust. He also literally mocked Aang’s culture and genocided people to his face, when his family committed the genocide. Oh, and he also mocked Aang’s forgiveness despite begging on his damn hands and knees for that very forgiveness like 3 episodes prior.

And then at the end of the episode, Zuko states himself that he legit doesn’t understand Katara or what she needs in life. Cuz of course he doesn’t. He isn’t a survivor of genocide, he hasn’t suffered ethnic cleansing, he isn’t oppressed. For fucks sake, his mother isn’t even dead and he gets reunited with her a few years after the canon shows timeline. Everything Zuko loses, he has returned to him. His honor, his right to the throne, his mother.

But tell me again how Katara and Aang are a bad match when they are the only two who will ever truly understand the other

[rambrandt-the-painter]

i remember a highschool friend telling me one time that he wanted to be a cinematographer but that he felt that he would never get the chance to work at hollywood. at the time it really frustrated me because i knew he had an unrealistic view of what kind of work he'd get the chance to do as a cinematographer (not that i know but assuming you have to go to hollywood is silly im sure) and it spoke to his insecurity. as an adult tho its hard for me to say that hes wrong considering the fact that becoming an artist is probably going to be the dumbest thing ive done in my entire life, and yes, i knew that from the start

[mathitas]

if you could, i would request a fic where nico and will argue over something (or miscommunicate) and its really bad for a while and then they have a rlly rlly cute make up and they are all good again.

I actually love this! Thanks for the suggestion Tw: blood, injury

Nico knew he got jealous often and that it was always dumb. His boyfriend, Will, was always quick to assure him, so he never really worried about it.

But this time, not only was Nico jealous, but he was also pissed.

His boyfriend had been avoiding him, and no matter how many times Nico tried to understand why, Will would just brush him off, promising it was nothing.

But then he saw him, hanging out with a child of Aphrodite he had been healing; he was taller, more muscular, and less pale-looking than Nico.

He knew better than to feel insecure; he knew Will loved him, but... why was he avoiding him?

Nico couldn't dare stand looking at them any longer, so he thought he could get his mind off things by practicing sword fighting.

But he was not able to focus; he could only think about how happy Will looked talking to that guy and how alone he felt. He was angry at Will but also at himself; was he not able to be alone like before?

"Ouch!"

He stared at his arm, blood leaking. It wasn't a bad injury, but it hurt.

He took some towels he found and put them over his injury, waiting for the blood to stop.

He didn't hurt himself badly, or at least he hoped.

So when Chiron saw him and his towels, which were now red, he ordered him to go to the infirmary.

Nico protested against it; he didn't want to see Will just yet. Chiron insisted, and he decided to listen, if he was lucky he would get away as soon as possible.

He hoped one of Will's siblings would be there, but no: he wasn't lucky that day.

When Will saw him, positioning a bloody towel on his arm, he immediately rushed towards Nico.

"Neeks! What happened?" He took his arm, and Nico sighed.

"It's nothing; just put something on it to stop the bleeding and let me go."

"What? No! It seems quite serious."

"It's nothing."

"I'm serious, Nico." "I said it's nothing!" He retired his arm, and Will took it again.

"Let me check it."

"There's no need to." "Nico, we already talked about this." "Stop it! Leave me alone, will you?!"

"What's with you today? You're making a scene! I'm just trying to help you!" "As if you care, when was the last time you talked to me properly?" "Nico, it's-" And then Nico saw that guy again; he was sitting on the infirmary bed, apparently for some check-ups.

"I'm going." "Nico!" Nico left; he felt tears falling from his eyes as he sat on his cabin's floor. He was angry at himself; he knew Will would have never done that, but now that they were fighting and it was all his fault.

However, Will followed after him.

He seemed to have cooled down now.

"Nico, I know I haven't been around lately." "I saw you with that guy," he admitted.

"Who?" "The son of Aphrodite" "Oh my gods..." "What? "I think you may be the dumbest guy I've ever met." Will laughed, sitting on the floor with Nico, hugging him from behind.

Nico didn't push him away.

"Why?" "Your birthday is coming up soon, idiot." Nico completely forgot. "Then why him?

"I was hoping he'd help me make it more romantic easily; I'm too busy with work, so I didn't have time to think about it..." "So you've been absent because you were making a surprise party for me?" "Well, it's not a surprise anymore, isn't it?" "I'm so sorry," Nico sighed, turning around and holding Will tighter.

"No, I'm sorry... Next time, tell me sooner, alright?" Nico nodded, and then he kissed him softly.

Will smiled bashfully.

"You were jealous... hehe." he said in a giddy voice, and Nico stopped kissing him, frowning.

"Shut the hell up, Solace."

Then Nico noticed something behind Will's back.

"Did you seriously bring a first-aid kit?" "Yes, give me your arm." Nico sighed and held out his arm so that his boyfriend could heal it.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: November 20

Heyo! I've been just parking read fic here for a while and didn't realize how long it was getting! And then I used my wait times in Disney to read a bunch more.... anyway. I've got a long list of fun for you!

Also, I'm really sorry, this is the dumbest header I've ever made but it made me laugh so here we are.

🪐 = Year of Themed Creation Fics!

.

DIETER BRAVO

Dieter, Dieter, Pumpkin Eater by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist I can't decide what I love more: Dieter getting frisky in a bouncy castle or his gleeful exclamations when the goats take to him. I want this. I want all of it. Sign me up. Crocs and all.

Tip Your Server by @nothoughtsjustmeds I love love love this fic. I love Dieter needing to get reader all hot and bothered while wearing fancy clothes, I love the banter, I love the obvious love these two have, the cavalier throw-away of a precious object, every gesture of affection and its tie to absolute, loving sass. And the prose is so great. This is a masterclass fic.

.

JOEL MILLER

Strong Enough To Stand by @the-blind-assassin-12 Oof. This both hurt and was satisfying. Joel has a habit of holding onto love and hurt. It's definitely detrimental at times. But damn if it doesn't illustrate how fiercely he loves. Alyssa's lead up story to this--It Pours From Your Eyes--nearly destroyed me, but this one thankfully helped to soothe.

Surrender Chapter 13 and Chapter 14 by @ezrasbirdie Birdie gave us a beautiful reunion and ending for Daisy and Joel and I'm just so proud of her for putting her heart into a wonderful OC. There's so much in this series about learning to love and--even more interesting--learning to BE loved, and both Joel and Daisy are wonderful for that. I know there's an epilogue coming and I will patiently wait for my desert while this meal of a fic settles in my heart.

Saying I love you through an accidental kiss by @songsformonkeys Listen. Joel Miller's got a lot going on today and it's chaotic and you made him food and took care of Sarah and you...you reached for him first. SOFT! CUTENESS!

Spend All Your Love Making Time by @haylzcyon Sub!Joel is my new favorite obsession. He's just so in LOVE with reader, so in thrall and this is hot hot hot.... Those baby browns are certainly made for puppydog wants....

Something Soft by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 Everyone knows what you do with dandelions, right? Until an apocalypse wipes off even the tiniest things from human culture. Then kids like Ellie may not understand the simple joy of making a wish on one. Good thing there's folks like Joel who remember and help her out.

Joel, Interrupted by @iamskyereads This is both melancholy and warm, and that is such a welcome taste. It is quiet and lovely and the last line gave me so many feelings. If Joel was a ghost in his own house, this is exactly how he'd be. <3

.

MARCUS MORENO

Not All Heroes Wear Capes by @all-the-things-2020 🪐 I love "fandom crossovers" as a year of tropes offering. ST:TNG was one of my big fandom obsessions, so it's nice to return to some of those characters. Putting a Pedro boy in there is inspired, and this was handled so well!!!

If It Wasn't For The Nights by @simpingcowboy 🪐 Marcus is just made for angst, isn't he. It's obvious how much he loved his wife and how much he loves their daughter. Going inside to examine that is just asking for a heart twist....

.

JAVI GUTIERREZ

The Last Blockbuster: Bump in the Night by @blueeyesatnight I love these two slacker filmophiles and am always happy to see them return to my dash. This time it's a test of readers' spine, to see if she can handle the scary movies like she says she can. I appreciate the appearance of another movie memorabilia piece...🦇🦇🦇

IRL part 1 @ nickcage_numerouno and part 2: of festivals and food by @grogusmum I love that both these dopes are so insecure about meeting one another. Javi is sweet and wonderful like always, and it's nice to get his POV here and there as our plus-size reader deals with her own assumptions. But oh my gosh he's smitten and if there's gonna be a part 3 I'll lose my mind.

.

COMANDANTE VERACRUZ

When it Comes to You... by @flightlessangelwings 🪐 I mean, if anyone's gonna get violently protective over his girl, it just might be Veracruz. I mean, to make you his priority during an ambush? To come back victorious and rail the crap out of you afterward? That's the dream....

,

DAVE YORK

First Kill by @hopeamarsu 🪐 Holy balls, this is a beautiful little character study on Dave. Hope goes inside his head during a therapists' session where he's asked about his first kill, and it is menacing AF. Take a look at this piece, because it is bomb.

.

EZRA

Gravity by @insomniamamma 🪐 J has a way with Ezra that I'm just addicted to. I know she loves him deeply, always takes so much care with him, gets his soft side just right. She makes me yearn so very hard for this man...his physical gracelessness a grand contrast to the gracefulness of his devotion. My goodness, I love this fic.

.

PERO TOVAR

untitled by @writeforfandoms Listen. It's a little mixed trope drabble about Pero as your bodyguard that might not mind being mistaken for your boyfriend and I could take 10K of this thanks.

Bangathon fics Cowgirl and Missionary by @prolix-yuy I may be a broken record, but I just cannot get enough of a solem and sour protector who only shows his vulnerability behind closed doors. I knew better than to read LJ's take on him and expect to remain unmelted.

Grumpy Pumpkin by @sirowsky This is just the very cutest. Of course Pero knows his way around knives, but pumpkin carving doesn't go exactly as you planned. In fact, it goes much sweeter.

Seed by @perotovar I love a Pero that is hot for his wife whether or not she can concieve. And that the want for a baby that hasn't come yet doesn't make them sad...it just makes them want to try harder! Soft and sweet and spicy all at once. Just like I like him.

.

FRANKIE MORALES

Ring Toss by @morallyinept Look. It's a simple concept. Frankie brings you donuts because Frankie loves you. You're resisting because you're on some silly diet. Donuts have holes. Frankie's got something that will fit in that hole. One temptation is bad enough, but two sticky treats together? Resistance is futile.

Questions and Stories part 1 and part 2 by @never--doubt 🪐 I love this concept of Frankie and reader's daughter asking them how they met and functioned as soulmates, how love takes work, and the mechanic of not being able to see one particular color until your aoulmate finds you....

.

EDDIE THE VAMPIRE (WITH MAX PHILLIPS)

An Act of Kindness by @missredherring This is a very sweet intro to a really lovely dynamic between a vampire reader and a fledgling. Oh my balls, Eddie needs help and she's such a good teacher. And he's so smitten with her in the cutest way... And of course, Max being Max, which is to say, Max being a douche.

.

JAVIER PEÑA

Summer Kiss Prompt - Apology Kiss by @something-tofightfor I cannot deal when strong men recognize thier trauma and try to do better. It's clear here that Javi hasn't learned how to let someone else take the lead with him yet, but the growth that's comes is beautiful.

Summer Kiss Prompt - Lazy Kiss by @something-tofightfor Rachael does slice of life so well. There's something very wonderful about Javi's focus on his work to the point where he forgets to take care of himself, and maybe even lovlier about the woman who makes sure he eats something and has himself a break now and then...

.

TIM ROCKFORD

Rockford and Roan 4 by @littlemisspascal I am so in love with Rae's soft soulmate stories, she always knows how to warm my heart. This one has some darker elements what with Tim investigating crimes....BUT THERE'S ALSO A DOG THIS TIME.

.

DIN DJARIN

Ambrosial by @spacecowboyhotch A soft and lovely story staring a black reader, wherein Din learns about the ritual and culture of her hair, how it links her to her family, how much a part of her it is...and therefore how much a part of himself. I just wanna curl up in this, it's so cozy.

.

SPECIAL GUEST CORNER

FENNEC SHAND

A Different Way of Life by @ghostofskywalker 🪐 Yes. Yes this is what I want. To run away for adventure only to find I really ran away with the love of my life...who just happens to be a bounty hunter and a ton of fun.

.

DICK GRAYSON

Seasons of Love by @captainsophiestark 🪐 I don't know much about this character, but he seems very sweet and loving. A jump through time in a relationship involving ties to the Wayne family.

.

[thatsrightice]

Hello! My name is Olie (She/Her) and I am the aviation-obsessed person running this blog.

main: @waitingforsols

the boys in the boat: @savvylittlecoxswain

band of brothers: @magnoliasforyourmedic

BACKGROUND: I have a mechanical engineering degree with an aerospace minor and I work in the aviation industry.

WHAT DO I LIKE?

Masters of the Air (esp Harry Crosby)

Top Gun (esp Tom “Iceman” Kazansky)

✨ F-14 Tomcat ✨

EAA AirVenture

Research & History

Fighter Pilot Podcast

WHAT DO I POST ABOUT?

Masters of the Air headcanons, prompts, writing ideas, fanfictions, rants, etc.

A LOT of 100th BG historical information

Top Gun headcanons, prompts, writing ideas, fanfictions, rants, etc.

F-14 Tomcat highly technical deep dives

Tons of interesting facts about the F-14, B-17, and aviation history

MY FANFICTION

a lesson in international relations

masters of the air, Croz whump, one-shot

main themes: croz and bubbles get jumped by the Riff RAF, hurt croz, croz & everyone, smart croz!!!,

the war is over and we are beginning

masters of the air, Croz/Rosie, one-shot

main themes: buck’s rosebush, croz/rosie, rosie with a rose, fluff, they’re both so soft for each other

and maybe if i hold you now

masters of the air, croz x bubbles one-shot (like 4k words)

main themes: Crosby x Bubbles, post-reunion in episode 5, misunderstandings, mutual pining, fluff and angst and smut (in that order), Harry Crosby is insecure AF, explicit sexual content (see Ao3 for specific tags), sharing a bed, Harry Crosby definitely experimented in college, Harry Crosby is the dumbest smart person, these boys deserve to be happy

we rest amidst the tumult of war

completed masters of the air croz x rosie multi-chapter fic (8k words)

main themes: crosby/rosie but can be read as platonic, part 6 rewrite, flak house, horseback riding (like actually), fluff and hurt/comfort but mostly comfort, basically 10k words of flirting, these boys deserve to be happy, ft. Rosie’s Riveters, lots of good-natured teasing and jokes, short jokes, insecurities, everyone needs a hug

penguins are flightless birds and so am i

iceman one-shot

main themes: iceman angst, surprise homecoming, hurt/comfort, big fluff, flyboys being flyboys, found family, emotional and physical pain, some military lingo, military accurate (hopefully) underlying future icemav, background HollyWolf, iceman returns home from deployment early but not on his own terms

flying is hard but falling (for you) is easy

multi-chapter icemav fic (WIP)

main themes: iceman AND slider angst, icemav, major platonic slice, hurt/comfort, the boys ™️, flyboys being flyboys <- to the max, flyboy shenanigans, things will get worse before it gets better, everyone needs a hug (especially iceman), takes place a couple months after top gun on the USS Enterprise, soft Iceman and protective everyone else, emotional pain, iceman knows he’s in love but refuses to do anything about it and maverick doesn’t know he’s in love but is doing everything about it <- that’s it, that’s the fic

FOR YOUR REFERENCE :)

F-14 Tomcat Accidents & Issues

The following is a compilation of issues with the F-14 Tomcat that have been encountered by pilots throughout its lifespan due to both mechanical and other reasons. Some are based on individual accidents and some cover epidemics in which many aircraft were lost to the issue *cough* compressor stalls *cough* basically it’s a bunch of ways you can hurt your fav characters in your fics.

F-14 Tomcat Variants

A beginner’s guide to identifying and differentiating the different F-14 Tomcat variants using three distinctive, easy-to-spot features: Glove Vanes, Engine Exhaust Nozzle (aka “Turkey Feathers”), and Sensor Pods.

Flight of the Tomcat

Flight basics of the F-14 Tomcat with diagrams

What Did F-14 Tomcat Pilots Wear?

A little guide including links to videos from a former F-14 Pilot showing and putting on what he wore when he was flying the Tomcat.

FREQUENT TAGS

# just a little thing I wrote

where you’ll find my Top Gun h/c’s, writings, musings, rants, prompts, analysis, etc.

# mota musings

same as #justalittlethingiwrote but for Masters of the Air and Harry Crosby

#FFFOTD or #F-14 Fun Fact of the Day

want to learn something new about the F-14 tomcat?

#research or #information

basically what it says

#top gun or #masters of the air

makes sense

#f-14 tomcat

kind of a given, but will likely include primarily technical posts

#reference

some guides and information stuff you could use to help better understand aviation or the f-14 tomcat

#f14 tomcat has ✨issues✨

if you’re looking for ways to hurt your favorite top gun characters without it being pilot error, check out this tag

MY AVIATION ORIGIN STORY

Basically, and I’m not exaggerating, I randomly decided to make a sad-excuse for a helicopter as a part of our wood shop unit in middle school. I genuinely do not know why I chose a helicopter, there is no reason for me to have chosen a helicopter lol. My wood shop teacher is like “I’m actually very intrigued on why you picked a helicopter like what made you pick it? I’m impressed!” And I literally had not answer for him.

My interest was solidified when I went to EAA AirVenture. Watching the F-22 Raptor fly was and always will be breathtaking to me. That demo gave me the love for military aviation and especially fighters that I have today.

[snshineandgnpwdr]

southern inhospitality

pairing- Dieter Bravo x ofc!Ava

word count- 1.8k ish

warnings- God, I still don't even know? Mentions of food, tense family gatherings and insecurities, just general crappy Thanksgiving family gathering vibes....also, I borrowed a few lines from Rhett & Scarlett if that's not your thng.....and remember kiddos, no matter what universe or situation, we hate Conrad. 😎

notes- I waffled all week about whether or not I wanted to repost this today for its one year anniversary and finally decided here at the end of the day that yeah, I like this one and I actually do want to. Made some minor edits but nothing serious, this takes place a couple years in the future from where these guys are in their main (unfinished) story but can be read as a stand alone.

thanks as always to @wildemaven for being my cheerleader and @tinytinymenace for the prompt a million years ago that started this. 💕

As he stepped onto the escalator and descended into the arrivals terminal, he thought to himself, 'this is the dumbest idea I've ever had.'

Okay, maybe not the dumbest. He is Dieter Bravo after all, he's done a lot of dumb shit in his life. But this probably ranks right up there.

And it's not like Ava had exactly invited him but when they'd talked the previous evening, she had said she missed him and that was pretty much the same thing right?

Besides, she'd sounded so miserable back in her family's clutches, it was like his duty or whatever to sweep in and rescue her. The last time she sounded that withdrawn-- well, he doesn't like to think about it, but he'll be damned if they ever repeat it. Time for him to step up and white knight this shit.

He's starting to second guess the whole idea though as the Uber makes its way up the long oak lined drive, the massive magnolia tree taking up the majority of the front yard coming into view before the actual house does.

"Goddamn," he whispers to himself as the car comes to a halt in front of a true southern plantation house- fucking columns, gleaming black shutters, coach lights, rocking chairs and all.

He can't help but wonder what the hell he's gotten himself into as he grabs his bag from the Uber and makes his way up the steps to the imposing double front doors and ringing the bell.

Based on the exterior, he's expecting the door to be answered by a housekeeper or a butler or some shit and is surprised when it swings open to reveal a pre-teen boy in perfectly pressed khakis and a seasonally appropriate burnt orange polo.

"Yeah?" The kid says nonchalantly, more interested in the phone in his hand than the actual guest at the door and Dieter catches a glimpse of chipped black glitter nail polish as the boy's fingers fly over the keys.

"I'm looking for Ava. Ava Greene? Is this the right place?" He asks, sliding his Ray-Bans down his nose and trying to peer behind the kid into the house. "Or like the right fucking century? They know the south lost right?"

That gets the kid's attention and he looks up at Dieter, flashing him a mischievous grin and suddenly Dieter sees the family resemblance. At least he knows he's at the right house. Must be one of Drew's spawn.

"The news of the fall of the Confederacy has not yet reached the man of the house. We fear, due to his advanced age and frail condition, such a staggering blow may cause him to expire."

Dieter snorts out a laugh and the kid smiles even wider. "Welcome to Oak Hill," he says with a dramatic bow. "Please, do step inside and join us on this day when we celebrate the most problematic of American holidays."

Dieter is getting ready to call the kid out for inviting perfect strangers into his family's home when Ava's voice comes from somewhere further in the house and instead he finds himself automatically stepping inside as if drawn to her.

"Harry! Who's at the door? You didn't let the Jehovah's Witnesses in again, did you??"

"They're actually here for you," Harry calls over his shoulder. "Something about how you've been living in sin with a cad and a scoundrel."

"Haha," Ava laughs. "Very funny, smart ass. Seriously, who's here?"

"Seriously, it's for you. Come see."

The tapping of heels on hardwood flooring comes closer and Dieter thinks maybe he's stepped not only into the wrong century but also into a completely alternate reality- Ava- his messy, wonderful, Converse wearing Ava, in heels?

His gaze starts at her feet as she comes into view and hot damn, she really is wearing a killer pair of leather booties with some long swirly plaid skirt he doesn't have a name for, crisp white button up, pearls at her ears and throat, hair pulled back in a complicated looking up-do.

"Harry, everyone I know is already here...." And then she catches sight of him standing behind Harry and he grins at the surprised expression on her face. "Dee-- what are you doing here? What about your meeting?"

"I rescheduled. I should've never agreed anyway," he shrugs, reaching out to pull her into his arms and she comes willingly. "I shouldn't have let you do this by yourself."

"I told you it was fine, that'd I'd be fine," she says as she wraps her arms around him and leans into him. "I'm mostly fine."

"You're not fine, look at you," Dieter laughs, pulling away enough to hook a finger in the vee of her shirt, accidentally on purpose undoing one more tiny button and sneaking a peak. "You have a bra on. I wasn't even sure you owned one."

Ava snorts out a laugh and melts back into him, tucking her face into his neck and nipping at the skin there. "Behave, Bravo. We're amongst civilized company here."

"I'll try, but you do look like every sexy librarian fantasy I've ever had," Dieter whispers into her ear, hands sliding down her back to rest on the curve of her ass.

"You're an idiot, bunny" Ava whispers back, holding on to him a little bit tighter. "But I'm so glad you're here."

"Take your sunglasses off," Ava says as they walk hand in hand towards the family room.

"What?"

"We're inside. Pretend you're a normal person and take your sunglasses off."

"But why?"

"Are you high?"

"What? No! I mean, not really, not that anyone could tell," he shrugs.

"Then take them off. Please do not make this any worse than it already will be. When we go in for dinner, sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table, mind your manners and take your sunglasses off."

And with that warning, she escorts him into the belly of the beast.

"We'll have one more guest for dinner," Ava announces to the room and way more people than he expected turn to stare at him. "Some of you have already met Dieter, so I'll just leave you to get reacquainted and set another place at the table."

"Play nice," Ava grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and giving his hand a quick squeeze before scurrying out of the room like the traitor she is.

He can do this, he tells himself as he hooks his Ray-Bans into his shirt pocket. He can. He's an Oscar winning actor for fucks sake. How bad can one family dinner possibly be?

Three hours later he's hating himself for putting that thought into the universe. Turns out it can be so, so incredibly bad.

Dinner itself was fine, delicious even- the turkey was moist, the potatoes were smooth and buttery, the pumpkin cheesecake was downright sinful.

But the conversation has been downright atrocious. It's as if someone had given Conrad Greene a list of topics not to talk about at a family gathering, and he's tried his damnedest to hit every single one of them.

He's watched Ava's mother masterfully try to steer them into safer conversational waters time and time again, he's listened to all the praise for Drew and the newspaper he can stomach while Ava's own accomplishments get brushed off as inconsequential and she withdraws farther and farther into herself. Even Harry is not exempt from his great grandfather's ire and he watches the bright eyed kid who'd met him at the door deflate like an old party balloon.

Dieter has always thought his own childhood was shitty, but it's nothing compared to this. Sure, he may have never known his dad and his mom may have ditched him, but between his grandparents and Ms. Rose, he'd never once felt anything less than accepted for exactly who he was. Or pressured to be someone he wasn't.

By the time the table is cleared and after dinner coffees are served, his back is starting to hurt from the damned uncomfortable dining chairs, his jaw hurts from clenching his teeth and his fucking knee hurts from how often Ava has dug her nails in to stop him from saying something he most likely shouldn't.

His shades had reappeared at some point to hide how often he was rolling his eyes and Ava was so dejected by that point she hadn't even tried to deter him.

And he's had about enough. Of all of it.

"Are you staying here?" He leans in to ask her.

"No," she shakes her head. "I've been staying at Drew's."

"Great. Did you drive here separately?"

"Yeah, Harry wanted to ride in your Porsche."

"Even better. We're leaving," he announces, pushing his chair back from the table.

"Dieter--"

"We're leaving, Ava. Say your goodbyes and grab your things."

Ava leads Dieter up the side stairs and into the little loft apartment over Drew's garage where she used to live and where she's been staying for the last few days.

"I'm sorry. It didn't....it wasn't always like that," she says as she kicks off her heels. It's the first thing she's said since they left her grandfather's house and Dieter's heart aches for her.

"Ava, honey, you don't have anything to be sorry for. None of that shit is your fault. He's a bitter old man with fucked up ideas of how the world should work."

"Growing up....before my grandmother died....it was different. She tempered him I guess," she shrugs, taking off her pearls and tucking them safely in a little velvet pouch she puts in her make up bag.

"What was she like?" He asks, coming up behind her at the bathroom counter, beginning to hunt for and remove all the pins keeping her hair pulled back.

"She liked to cook and work in her garden, and take Drew and I bargain shopping. She was always smiling or laughing. A little bit mischievous. People gravitated to her. She would've liked you a lot."

"You think so?"

"I do," Ava smiles softly at him, meeting his eyes in the mirror. "I wish she would've gotten to know Harry, she would've gotten a kick out of him."

"He's a pretty cool kid," Dieter grins. "Clever, quick-witted. You sure he's not actually yours?"

"Positive," Ava laughs, spinning to face him. "But I did spend a lot of time with him when he was younger. Guess I rubbed off on him."

"Hey, that's not a bad thing, you know that, right? You're incredibly brilliant, Ava. It's their loss if they can't see it."

"I know. I'm working on it...."

"And, you know what else?" he grins, cupping her face in his hands and adopting a ridiculous southern accent. "You deserve to be kissed and often and by someone who knows how."

"And I suppose you think you're the proper person?"

"I might be....if the right moment ever came."

"What about now, Rhett?"

"Thanks not your line, Scarlett."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

"That's not your line either."

"Hey, Bravo....shut up and kiss me already."

And he does.

[eunoiaastralwings]

Dating Eönwë would include:

featuring eönwë x gn reader

fandom tolkien-the silmarillion

a/n this headcanon was requested by my lovely and beautiful friend @a-contemplation-upon-flowers - but tumblr decided to delete the request from my inbox ! Like seriously you fucking hellsite, leave my requests alone! this is the 3rd time it is happening and it is pissing me off ! thankfully mt pea-sized brain remembered your request because it just a headcanon and you are the only who requested the bird boi

𓆩♡𓆪 If Eönwë is interested in you - it is very obvious, because bird boi here keeps stuttering over his words, whenever he’s around you or there is a blush creeping up this face.

𓆩♡𓆪 The herald can’t make eye contact with you for more than 3 seconds - he’s melting and in awe of your eyes, he dies inside because of its beauty and how your emotions are there for him to read, your sincerity in everything you do.

𓆩♡𓆪 Compliment him and he’s literally falling part in front of you, he makes the dumbest excuse possible, thinking it’s believable and flies off because there’s too many emotions running through him he can’t understand and too overwhelming for him.

𓆩♡𓆪 He would leave you for a few days after that trying to understand these new feelings. Eönwë is yearning and missing you deeply these days - but he can’t understand why. It’s only understandable when he either reads something relatively close in a book he is reading or one of the Valar to become a parent (highly possible to be either Varda or Manwë) and explains to him, in a form of a riddle because it’s up to Eönwë to figure out himself.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë probably needs another few days before he can approach you. He’s planning a beautiful and spectacular way of asking for your hand in courtship, because knows you only deserve the best. Will definitely push it forward when other birds/elves/maiar/human are looking to take your hand - little insecure jealous bird baby. Whatever your culture of courting is, he will add with how eagles call for their mates - yes, trying to impress your air dances and puffing out his wings.

𓆩♡𓆪 The longer you take to answer, the longer he it kills him inside. He concludes too quickly and wants to fly out again - thinking the silence was your rejection, but when you yell out an excited ‘yes’ just as he was about to fly away, he looks at you shocked, surprised and happy all at once.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë fly over to you so fast like in a blinking second and wraps you in his arms and spins you in the air - that is happy he is. Eönwë feels like the luckiest being underneath Arien’s rays.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë would the best lover – always putting your best interests and care at first, becoming your voice of encouragement. He would constantly bring you gifts from his travels – yes, you know what that means. He treats you like royalty, constantly wanting to see your eyes light up and smile at him – it is his favorite, your smile and your laugh.

𓆩♡𓆪 He can be a needy bird - constantly wanting your attention and jealous if anyone else dares to approach his mate. He loves calling you his - not as a possession, no he hates the idea of that. He calls you his because you own his heart and soul, just like he knows he own yours - you are his as much as he is yours.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë loves serenading or reading novels to you - in fact one of his favorite things to do is being outside sitting on the ground leaning against a tree and your resting against his chest - or lying on the ground as you lie your head on chest while he reads to your. He constantly has an arm around at all times - he cannot help it, he wants to feel you close, It is also his way of ensuring himself you are real, especially at the odd times he is feeling insecure.

𓆩♡𓆪 He loves taking you for flying - you are someone like me and scared of heights, he adores how you cling onto him for your dear life. He also makes sure to fly lower, depending on how afraid you are. Only a few inches off Eru’s sweet grounds my dear Eönwë.

𓆩♡𓆪 Sometimes he loves is carrying you his arms and flying over Middle Earth or if it late after both you met up he would carry you over back to your house bridal style - he is just a hopeless romantic.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë tackles your with hugs whenever he returns from far - arms and wings around your for the whole day with kisses and whispers of how much he had missed ‘his dove’ ‘his mate’ ‘his angel’ - he has the fluffiest and cutest nicknames for your. He doesn’t call you that for the sake of being cute but because he truly believes you are and is utterly in love with you.

𓆩♡𓆪 Call him by a pet or nickname or his title and he folds - he is by your side cuddling

𓆩♡𓆪 He adores showing you how much he loves you - one of this displays of affection is wrapping his wings around you. Especially, if it is cold, a wing instantly wraps softly around pulling you close to him. His wings are always their when your are hugging or cuddling - he only does this for you, no one else.

𓆩♡𓆪 His wings are very strong and he loves your to fall asleep on them - they are the softest, warmest and safest bed. Eönwë loves he can give that you - he adores seeing you have fallen asleep on his chest or his wings.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë has a habit of tracing your features when you’re asleep and committing them to memory. He softly kisses all your features too - your forehead, the arch of your eyebrows, your eyelids, the tip of your nose, your cheeks and finally the softest of peck on your lips so he does not wake you up.

𓆩♡𓆪 Eönwë loves the feel of you brushing your fingers through his features - it calms him especially after an exhausting day. Just avoid his sensitive parts, otherwise it won’t be a relaxing afternoon, rather an afternoon that contains a lot of bed activities ;)

𓆩♡𓆪 He can be very protective of you - there can be some arguments because of this, especially if you want to fight in wars, but he does come around to respect your choices and decisions - even if it scares him.

𓆩♡𓆪 He vows to protect you at all costs - if you every end up injured or worse, Eönwë will forever blame himself.

𓆩♡𓆪 He will be looking over you for injuries or bruises - takes it upon himself to nurse you back to full health and he takes it very seriously, he is even afraid to cuddle you - afraid he might accidentally hurt you.

𓆩♡𓆪 All in all he is a perfect mate to have and court. Eönwë also only court you with marriage in mind too.

Taglist form

taras taglist: @fizzyxcustard @a-contemplation-upon-flowers @wandererindreams @aeonianarchives @mismaeve @spidergirla5 @ranhanabi777 @asianbutnotjapanese

[jewishbarbies]

https://www.tumblr.com/jewishbarbies/760744047881125888?source=share

NO LITERALLY. And not to make this about pan people too, but they LITERALLY DO THE SAME SHIT WITH PANSEXUALITY.

Like why do people think it’s not okay for bi/pan people to not be bi/pan? All I see on the internet is people saying that we’re more likely to cheat… bitch, what?

I’ve also heard from some lesbians/gays that they’re afraid of their partner cheating on them or leaving them for a man/girl.

queer people will project their dumbest insecurities onto bi & pan people and pretend it’s our fault. the disc horse around whether or not you should be bi instead of pan because they think being bi is transphobic literally made me lose brain cells.

queer people infantilize pan people to a certain extent with that, acting like being pan is the most inclusive thing possible so therefore you’re this super good and wholesome person who can do no wrong because you’re attracted to everyone. meanwhile bi people are these transphobic cheaters and bi women are just pretending to be queer for brownie points while ‘always ending up with men’, but we’re not gonna talk about how mean and exclusionary lesbians are to bi women noooo. like, why would i want to date a woman that clearly thinks so horrible of me bc of my sexuality? or doesn’t even believe my sexuality? bi women have a hard time finding queer women to date because of the bigotry in the modern queer community, not because we have some internalized homophobia.

like if they actually TALKED to us about our own sexualities instead of just making assumptions based on literally nothing, they’d understand the difference and why both sexualities need to exist, and one is not more valid than the other. typically gender is a part of attraction for bi people and it’s not for pan people. it’s not hard to understand and neither sexuality is bigoted in anyway. yeah, there are bad people of every sexual orientation and gender identity (hence this conversation), but that doesn’t mean there’s an inherently more bigoted one. it all sounds like such a duh statement to me but these people act like you’re moses bringing down the stone tablets when you explain it??

also the jaded lesbian to radfem pipeline is so real and it’s honestly getting unnerving just how many queer women end up there and start attacking pan & bi women for their sexuality. it’s the whole “men are your natural predators so its unnatural for you to date them, it’s because it’s ingrained in you and not real!” bullshit. like i feel for you man, but you’re a fucking idiot. and this is the dating pool that bi & pan women have to weed through online and irl to try and find a queer woman to date. but sure, we’re just choosing men over women because we’re faking being queer. yeah, that’s it. 🥴

[sillyandquiteawkward]

ME AGAIN ! GUY WHO LIKES YOUR OCS ! (apparently this didn't send before but thankfully I saved it beforehand !)

Okay So I really really like Bailey and his siblings because they're literally SO bad coping mechanisms core. Like damn therapy wasn't kidding that Child Abuse really Can leave you altered for the rest of your life !

Ignatius is Fawn, due to having had to have adapted into a role of a peacekeeper for people in the house not to fucking bite each other, but also because I can really see him trying to sympathize with everyone around him in an attempt to make himself more approachable, more demure, smaller even, so that no one is mean to him. He wants things to be "normal" Soooo Bad he can't stand the fact people won't just talk to each other despite it feeling like the most logical option [<- Bro cannot accept the circumstances of a much more complicated relationship between his siblings than he originally fathomed !]

Bailey is Flight to me, because much like Octavia points out in that one comic you made innnnn 2022 (? I TINK !), instead of actually solving the issues that bother him head on and face the consequences of doing so, he'd rather walk around them a billion different ways and pretend to be busy and avoidant and Cool because dealing with actual conflict is SCARY !!!!!!! Call this guy "Mask of my own face" by Lemon Demon the way he has never once in his life felt the full extent of his emotions due to an underlying self imposed expectation to be this untouchable being who's always right and never actually has to have a heart to heart with anyone <3. I just think its interesting how you write Bailey to be this all-logic-no-play person, while also giving him the feeling that all of this is an act waiting to fall apart, and that he does not in fact Know A Damn Thing. He's the world's dumbest smart man I wish I could throw him in a well <- loving

And Octavia, of course, is Fight, but not JUST because she's exceedingly aggressive in order to cover up her own insecurities and fear of not being her an actual individual ! There's so much more to her and I'm FASCINATED frankly. She lives in a shadow of someone who has never had much regard for her accomplishments, and now she wants SO BAD to prove that "NO, YOU WERE WRONG, I AM SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO SUCCESSFUL" that she ends up losing her personality along the way. She's so focused on the achievements she has gotten, the fights she has won, the struggle SHE ALONE overcame, that she forgets that she's like... a person. Octavia has been on self defense mode for so long that she's forgotten HOW to take off all that armour, and now she's just stuck under hundreds of pounds of metal waiting for that one final thing that's going to make her happy. I just need to work a little harder ! I just need to do this better ! I just need a little more time to work on this and then I can rest ! I am good ! I am good ! She shouts. And then, when she FINALLY gets that score, that perfect track record, she's like "Great ! This proves me my worth and that I am in fact Good !...Now what". It's never enough and it has never been enough but fucking dammit she will prove it to herself to her mom and to her shitass lazy siblings that NO I AM GOOD. I JUST NEED TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD. IM DOING GOOD BECAUSE I WORK HARD. She's normal ��� [I love her so bad but PLEASE give her mood stabilizers]

Hoohhg this ended up longer than I imagined but anyway. Tldr, Im Bailey I'm Iggy and Im Octavia the MENTAL ILLNESS siblings <3

(Long essay anon here again sorry) I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OCS CONSTANLTY IM SO SORRY. They came into my house (brain) one day and they haven't left so now I'm conducting experiments on them. They're so cool and I really want you to know that they are. 50 ttrillion dollars for yiu

------

i literally love this soooo much please always feel free to have thoughts about my ocs ANYTIME! your thoughts about the bayleys are SO RIGHT. the mental illness siblings realness 😔 hehehehehe i think its really interesting that they ended up showing off the fight/flight/fawn responses. its not something i entirely planned for them, but its accurate. i especially enjoy the thoughts on bayley's flight response, it really is interesting how hes a master at avoiding things.

some doodles on your thoughts and what i thought would be silly in response. <3 bc i live for this stuff and it makes my day to read things like this, let alone on my own characters (sobbing crying <3<3)

[bakuninbeats]

I don't think we need government

This has become the motto of one of my favorite fandoms in recent years, and though I do not condone their favorite band's privileging of their top 2 percent, I gotta admit that these hyper-active little weirdos have my whole heart and truly give me hope for a better (or at least more interesting) future.

I am, of course, talking about the iconic hyperpop duo 100 gecs who, whilst not exactly quoting Kropotkin themselves, they have managed to garner quite the anarchic following. From their wild fashion, to their acceptance of all stripes of people, to their propensity to truly go hog-wild in the pit, I am proud to say that I am definitely a fan of the band's following. However, how did this band garner a fanbase with such a non-chalant distaste towards the state? Let's find that out by reviewing 100 gecs' 2023 single 'Dumbest Girl Alive'.

Overall, the production is great. The song starts off with a nice, simple acoustic guitar riff which is only a teaser for when the same riff starts blasting on the electric quitar with the distortion turned up to the max. As the track progresses, this phrase is repeated in chiptune, and then a cleaner guitar tone, before thrusting the listener back into the crunchy, wailing wall of distortion.. This is then followed by the verse where frontwoman Laura Les raps over an aggressive trap beat, filled with sound effects, glitches, and other fun variations.

This lyrics seem to mostly be about Laura's own stupidity which is already quite relatable, but trust me, if you're trans (and have time to look through the Genius annotations) these lyrics hit very differently. From making implicit references to estrogen, to comparing herself to Frankenstein to saying that she is both smarter than she looks and somehow also the dumbest girl in existence (perhaps implying that she thinks she looks like a man, because men are quite stupid). In short, she does a great job of portraying many of the insecurities and the self-hatred that come with the trans experience™ and it is therefore no surprise that the band has managed to attract such a large queer following.

This duo represents freedom in its purest form through their frenzied exploration of production, voice, genre and gender. What this particular song demonstrates is that, above all, this band has a true sense of honesty, authenticity, and a willingness to acknowledge their own struggles which may be one of the most vital forms of praxis in the path to emancipation. Sometimes, simply making people gain awareness of your pain is enough to make this world a little better, especially if is all you are capable of. Not only because it can possibly garner sympathy from those who might have otherwise ignored you, but also because it makes people who share your struggles feel like they're a little less alone.

Link to song:

[toxicroyjamie]

Ok but. If I may be allowed to ramble a moment, your majesty? Dani has a crush on Jamie almost first thing. Then Jamie leaves. Dani makes friends with Sam instead, Sam is hot and sweet and what can Dani say, his type is: pretty boys. After a game, he winds up making out with Sam like an idiot and they become secret boyfriends. Why secret? Because Dani's a romantic little shit, not because its much of an actual secret. The team knows, the coaches know. Anyway, Jamie comes back. Dani's happy!! Sam is not. Dani is conflicted!! Sam trips jamie and ruffles his hair. This is hot to dani!! And Jamie!! Jamie is confused, his type is I Only Date Girls bc my dad would beat my ass otherwise. Dani decides to make friends with him! Sam does not like this. Jamie is happy with this bc he does like Dani. Except turns out he likes dani...too much!! Wtf? Its just. He is lonely, dani is nice and handsome and has long hair. Also he plays football games with him. So cute.

Anyway. Sam is pissed. He and Dani are low-key fighting. Jamie finds out they're dating and he's like. Of all the stupid ass shit that life could've hit me with rn. This is the dumbest. Dubai air! Sam decides at least Jamie is not the complete cock he was. He apologizes to dani. The boys and Jamie get closer. Its slow but worth it. Cue Wembley break down, Jamie stays at Roy's for a bit and Dani resigns himself to the idea of a Jamie Roy Keeley trouple. Meanwhile, Jamie does not know what trouple means. Sam is realizing there are layers to jamie effing tartt. Lotsa layers. Dani realizes he is crushing hard and comes out as poly to sam, as well as apologizes for not telling him sooner he'd had a crush on Jamie before. Sam is a little insecure. Jamie still does not know what trouple means.Bam! News of possible transfer for sam! Dani assures Sam he loves him. This is the first time he has used the word. Sam loves him back. But is scared he is only saying it bc he's scared of Sam leaving. He says he must think, ominously, like a hallmark white girl.

But then. Jamie and Sam talk. It is an accident and also, bc it would be good for the plot. Sam asks Jamie what he thinks abt him transferring. Jamie blanks replies that he's one of the best players at Richmond so on one hand, him leaving would be really bad for the team. On another hand, he's one of the best guys Jamie knows, so he also wants the best for him, so he'd wish him luck if the transfer is what he wanted. He also asks what Dani thinks of it. Sam says the truth, which is that Dani isn't talking about it bc he doesn't want to influence his decision. (Its also cause he's a dumbaas but whatever) Sam is touched. Dani is panicking. Jamie...still does not know what trouple means. (Sorry that line only gets better each time I use it) long story short, dani comes to Sam's place, confesses that he doesn't want Sam to go, but he loves him, so he'll support it if Sam needs to, he's crying, Sam cries a little, they fuck. Sam turns it down, ofc. They win the game!! Jamie gives dani the ball, Sam thinks maybe he could fall in love with this boy, Dani realizes he already has and that, my friend, is a pre-sam/jamie/dani fic in a nutshell.

It was much shorter in my head before I started writing I down. Sorry lol.

DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE THIS SM

I would absolutely read this if you wrote it in a full fic. You should if you get the chance 💘💘💘

[shslskaterboy]

Anon who asked your faves here- Good choices!!! :D all amazing characters. Will you tell me more about why you like them? :3c (i want to hear your thoughts and give you the chance to talk blorbos!)

O_o you honour me anon, I’m really about write a whole essay Godspeed 🙏

I love Sakura and Mondo because I am, and always have been, a complete sucker for buff people who are actually so soft. Mondo really made himself cry when he talked to Makoto about his dog and I will never be able to get over that. Sakura is the ultimate martial artist and people are always terrified of her at first glance but then it turns out she’s sweet and soft and feminine and cares deeply for her friends and her moral principals. Also they’re so gay so like that automatically gives them a million points

MAKOTO my darling dearest boy is so delightful, so optimistic, and also such a little freak (affectionately). He is truly the glue that holds the group together, he is so relatable, he’s secretly a snarky little bitch, and he’s the littlest guy ever in the world 🥰 Also something else that not only pertains to him but also the other protags as well that I love is the journey from being so insecure so realizing their true capabilities, which I just love for them

Gundham my beloved, was instantly so high in my list because he is A Goth, he has Hamsters, and he is so unapologetic about who he is. He wears all black, he loves eyeliner, he loves animals, he Talks Like That, he knows who he is and he likes to have fun, and he really does come to love and care for his friends and classmates by the end. He makes connections. He’s so autistic but that doesn’t stop anyone from loving him. He is everything to me ❤️

Keebo was immediately my fave in v3 because he is also such an autistic representation and he is immediately so sassy in scene 1, he is straightforward and intelligent, and his whole existence raises so many interesting philosophical questions about AI which I will probably talk more about in its own post, and he’s just so pure, so lovely. I love him. Best boy.

Shuichi baby. How can I even do him justice. He’s shy, he’s insecure, he’s a little emo boy (I see all black and I pass out and hit reblog), and he just needs a hug so bad. Also his arc is so satisfying to me, he undergoes grief, anxiety, depression, and he still comes out the other side stronger than he ever was. Also sassy, he has that signature protag sass and I love it.

Miu was a fave because she’s literally sooo annoying like why is she like that? Is she insecure too? Probably! But her methods of coping are so opposite to anyone else in the series (apart from toko/syo who I also like for the same reasons) that it’s just so comical. She hilarious, she’s also unapologetic, and she’s really out here just saying whatever. We love to see it.

Hajime and Nagito are so prevalent in my mind that I don’t even know where to start. There’s so much to say, and so much of it has been said already, but that won’t stop me from trying. They are mirrors, they are complimenting colours, they are victims of circumstance, they are the only ones who understand each other. They are so snarky, they’re smartasses, they’re simultaneously the smartest and dumbest people in the room at any given moment, they’re so insecure it hurts, but they’re so strong in their convictions that nothing short of the end of the world can shake them. As characters they are complex, they are funny, they are tragic, they go and in hand like chilli and dark chocolate, and that I think is what makes them each compelling as their own individual people as well. I have so many thoughts I cannot even hope to articulate. They’re just so. Soo. AAHG. Ya know?

[icedteasandparliaments]

Rant: Love life, story, troubles, venting, need advice

This is a long rant, but something that has really been consuming me. Its about a guy I like, and I desperately need some advice. It is a pretty interesting read, so if you have the time to, please read or share.

So there’s this guy. Let’s call him James. We’ve known each other for two years, and we were both in open relationships when we met. Nothing happened, we just hung out, met up at bars, were affectionate (pecks and some light cuddling). I did ask if he wanted to get fully undressed once while we were cuddled up and about to sleep, and he said no (I dont exactly remember the phrasing), so we just kissed and went to sleep, and I left it at that.

Anyway, this past May we were both at EDC. My bf was with me on Friday and went back to LA Saturday morning. James and I unfortunately didn’t get the chance to meet up inside the festival on Saturday, but I met up with him Sunday evening before the festival started. He was about to head back to LA in a few hours, and his roommate was going to end up there by himself. I obviously invited his roommate to tag along with us since he needed a ride too.

We get to the festival, and his roommate tells me that James thinks I am really special, and that I should really go for it with him. I was confused, as I didn’t really feel that from him and I was beginning to see us as friends. Oh, and we were both still in the same relationships I mentioned earlier.

A few months go by, and my bf and I are arguing all the time. I know he cares about me and loves me so deeply, and would do anything for me, but it is clear now that we are not very compatible. We see things very differently, and we argue about the dumbest shit (he’s the instigator, as he’s OCD and insecure, and the fact that I am so laid back actually upsets him further so I was at a loss, as even my tools of diffusion, talking calmly, trying to use reason and logic, would upset him even more)

Towards the end of July, I could feel my depression coming back. My bf and I get into yet another argument, and my energy felt so depleted. I fully withdrew - emotionally, mentally, physically. The next few weeks were tumultuous to say the least. Another major argument followed by the end of August. I ask for a break, to which his response was “that’s a break up with extra steps. If you’re already there we should just break up.” … and so we do.

2 days later, James texts and invites me to a pool party at his friend’s place. I really needed a change of scenery, and I haven’t seen him in a few months. I drove up to his place and we drove another hour to his friend’s place. We talked and laughed the whole drive up, and right before we get there he tells me he called it off with his boyfriend, and I tell him the same happened with me. I felt an energy shift, but that was that.

We get to the pool party, and he introduces me to his friends. It turns out, I spoke with one of the hosts on grindr so many times, and we just never met up (he lives an hour away, lol). We didn’t realize it at the time, and it’s not relevant to this story I just thought it was a funny coincidence.

The party was more-so a gathering, as we were just around 10 people. I was getting to know them throughout the party, and I don’t remember spending much alone time with James. I really hit it off with one the guests though (much older and ruggedly handsome), and we ‘snuck off’ for a bit to make out. We left about an hour later, and James drove me back to his place. We saw an episode of Ted Lasso. He got up when it was over and said he was going to shower, and I could crash on the couch (I think that’s what he said, I was pretty tipsy). I said I should probably head back and I gave him a quick kiss good night and left.

Another week goes by, and I hit him up first. We made plans to drive up to Tahoe with my friends but a storm came and we cancelled. He travelled to see his family instead. I waited until he came back and texted him first again, which is when he invited me to an overnight gay event in the woods. I wasn’t going to go, especially since my bf and I had talked and said we’ll do the break instead of a breakup. Friday night passed, and he calls me Saturday morning asking me to come for the last night of the event. He got me a ticket and a place to stay, so I didn’t really have an excuse. I went, and I am so glad I did because it was a very magical night to say the least, and we were really vibing with each other. I met some more of his friends, but I was now mindful of the fact that what we have going on might be more than a friendship. I wanted to shoot my shot and let him know I am starting to like him, but more on that later.

He was truly the life of the party. He befriended everyone. He’s so sweet and special, and his energy is truly infectious. I started feeling myself blush and getting butterflies when his attention was directed my way (which it was for most of the night). He is just so charismatic. During a show that night, we were cuddled up and holding hands the entire time. His head was resting on my shoulders as he hugged me and wrapped his legs around mine. It felt amazing. We go back to the cabin, and he jokingly says that we should date (in front of his friends) after celebrating that he’s single. We ended up on different substances that day, and so were on different wavelengths.

The party picked up throughout the night, and I start to back out of telling him I like him. Just as I was texting that to a friend, I see that he’s kissing someone else. I shrugged it off and went back into the crowd to dance. He finds me 20-30 mins later, says he’s been looking for me, grabs me and we start making out. It felt surreal (I am sure it was the drugs too, and the fact that I wasn’t really knowing whether to expect that). He came up to me another hour later and asked if I was hitting it off with a guy I was talking to, to which I replied that it wasn’t sexual. He then said not to worry, and that he’s very easy, and we made out again. I saw him kiss two other guys that night, and back and forth we went. It started feeling like we were just special friends, and I began to accept that by the end of the night. I finally gave some attention back to a cute guy that’s been checking me out all day.

James and his friend (our cabin mate), the cute guy I just met, and I started walking towards the afterparty. The cute guy asks me how I know James, and I stuttered before saying “we’ve known each other for 2 years … and I guess we’ve been friends ever since.” A few minutes later, I turn around and see that James and his friend went in another direction (presumably to check out an orgy), so I just texted him to check up and said ill be at the afterparty. He said he was just in and out and it wasn’t his vibe, but I didn’t see him at the afterparty for a while (it was small, and so super hard to miss).

So the cute guy and I go to the afterparty, with the trippiest music, bohemian decorations in an indoor/outdoor space with blankets, pillows, and super cuddly vibes. He pulled out some Ketamine and asks if I want some. I am very used to psychedelics, but I have never tried K, and it was honestly the perfect setup for it. I tried to get a hold of James, but he didn’t respond. The K hit me fast, and I immediately wanted to lie down and cuddle up. I lied down and the cute guy started spooning me. I look up and see James, call him and he just says hi and that he’s looking for other people. I said okay and lied back down. He was within earshot most of the time, but I was too out of it to actually hear anything besides his voice. He came up to me before he was heading out, knelt down and kissed me. “Good night babe, Ill see you back in the cabin.”

I got up a few mins later and told the guy I should head back too as to not wake them up. I go back to the cabin, and he asks why I didnt bring the guy back and jokingly said he’d be down to watch. I just laughed and went to sleep. I debated asking if he wants to cuddle, but we were in bunk beds and he fell asleep really quickly, and I also felt odd about having just cuddled up with someone else. The next morning as I was heading to the bathroom, he saw me getting up and reached his hand out to hold mine as I was passing through. I gave him a quick kiss good bye, and I drove back home.

A couple of days later, I hit him up again, and ask him out to a show that upcoming Friday with my friends under the guise of “an extra ticket”, especially since he had gotten one for me the weekend prior. He said yes, but I started feeling sick that day. I later tested and I had COVID. I called to let him know, and that Friday would be my 5th day. He said he doesn’t mind and would still like to go if I am feeling fine. I was still really tired, but I really wanted to see him. I was planning to have my mask on all day, but he asked me to take it off after we sat down “so he could see my face”.

We had a really great time, and even snuck into much better seats (they weren’t taken), so we ended up spending the entire concert by ourselves w/out my friends. We took a little bit of mushrooms, and we were so intimate all night (his arm around me, holding hands, slightly squeezing my butt, my arm was wrapped around his thigh, my head on his side (he was sitting on top of the chair while I was fully seated, so he was significantly higher most of the time. I am pretty sure he saw me visibly blush a couple of times but I really tried to hide it for some reason, I didnt want to come off too strong …). The show ends, and he asks if I want to go out to a gay bar. I was so tired and just wanted to cuddle up and smoke a bowl and watch tv, but I said yes only because I wanted to spend some more time with him.

Before going, we decided to check in with my friends and quickly met up with them at the bar they were at. My friend’s coworker (a woman) was so into him, and after telling her he was gay she wanted to set him up with her husband’s brother. She asked if he was seeing anyone, and he stuttered before saying he’s here with me. When she asked if we were dating he said that we’re just friends and we both recently got out of a relationship (this conversation was relayed to me by a friend). Anyway, we leave 30 mins later and go to the gay bar.

We order drinks and food, and he was hitting it up with some cute guy for a bit while our order came (which is fine). We went to see a drag show and he again put his arm around me. My friends came an hour or so later, but one of them was too drunk so I went to meet them outside. My car was already at my friend’s place, and I wasn’t going to kiss James anyway seeing as its just my 5th day still. I waited for him to come out, hugged him good night, walked him to his car, and went back home with my friends.

He asks me to let him know when I get home, and I can physically feel the butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I am falling for this guy fast, and it is starting to scare me. I don’t know what we are, or where this is headed, and whether he’s even emotionally available. I seem to always be hitting him up first, and he’s so different in person than he is over text (one word responses, never initiates, feels like its a chore, only calls me “babe” and says I am really cute when we are together in person). Even when I say “hey babe”, his response back is “hey” or “hey you” … which is 🤦🏽‍♂️. Then he keeps inviting me to places and agreeing to go places with me, so I am really not sure what’s going on.

We made plans to spend 4 back-to-back weekends together starting a month from now. Yes, FOUR. It seems like we’ve confirmed on 3 so far, with one being tentative, but that’s still really significant. The last weekend is an out of town trip. I figured id just lay back for a while and let my emotions process. Out of sheer curiosity, I go online to check the compatibility of a Pisces-Pisces relationship. It was … SCARILY on point. This is what I found:

“At first glance, two Pisces representatives might become a perfect couple, but when we scratch beneath the surface, we might see that they have real trouble getting close to each other. Their sex life can be magical, but in many cases they will not even get to the physical contact, keeping their relationship senselessly platonic.”

“Trust is a very difficult subject when two Pisces representatives begin a romantic relationship. Their main problem is in the fact that they know each other too well. They can both recognize their own unstable and unreliable nature in their partner, so instead of building trust and changing them both for the better, they will easily get caught in a circle of attempts to be honest and dishonest, without the need for their flaky nature to change. The best way for them to create a safe and trustful atmosphere is in a lot of meaningful communication that they both usually find obsolete.”

“Although they will share their dreams with one another, and probably inspire each other in many ways, it will be difficult for them to have discussions on ongoing things in their lives. They will both have their own image of what is important for their partner to know about them. It is a good thing they will have such a strong feeling on each other’s point, because they would probably never meet each other at all if there was no emotional connection between them.”

“They will have a tendency not to move from a certain point, both of them intensely focused on the idea of love, rather than actual activities. This will easily lead them to a place where there is really nothing else to share and talk about especially if they don’t share the same group of friends, or have other joined activities that they can discuss on a daily basis.”

“When they fall in love, this is a fairytale romance and their emotional contact is something that no other sign can reach. Two of the representatives of Venus’ exaltation in the same relationship, are love multiplied. Their tenderness and the way they nurture their emotions toward each other, will be a true inspiration for everyone around them. There is no better partner to understand the emotional nature of a Pisces partner, than another Pisces. Their mutable quality will show through emotional changes and apparent inconsistency, but in truth, they will know exactly when to separate and when to be together in order for their love to remain exciting and beautiful.”

I truly wanted to just let it be and go with the flow, but I am worried that we are both taking the same exact approach, and we will just be stuck in this will-they won’t-they forever. Honestly, all I want to know is whether this is just a friendship or if there’s something more, and if he’s willing to explore things emotionally. I am at such a loss because I don’t want to keep texting him first either, and I am a little worried still that he sees me the same way I see all my friends-with-benefits (hot men whose company I enjoy and who I care about, but nothing more).

Should I just wait and see what happens over our next few outings? The last weekend of the 4 is an out of town trip (with friends). Do I tell him then, or before? Or just let it be? I am just torturing myself here. Can someone please offer some advice? (He is 11 years older in his mid 30s if that makes any difference).

What the hell should I do and how do I handle this? He already knows I think he is super cute (to which his response is always “so are you, so sexy”). He already saw me staring into him a few times and saw me blush when he caught me. The way I smile and look at him would give me away to anyone else. I also kept noticing him looking at me from the corner of my eye during the concert. He also just got out of a relationship, and said he’s young and wants to enjoy his life without the confines of a relationship. We’ve been friends for two years but we’ve never had sex … Why is he so confusing? 😭 please help. What would you do in this situation?