#its on their povs w each other and in some different scenarios too

[pin-poo]

posted this one on twt but im putting here too

[luv-beam]

live reaction things 😋:

- HELP ME SUNWOO IS STILL A MENACE SKFNKENF also the lowkey 4th wall break w reader's obsession w kpop and streamers (me too bestie, me too) - oh, btw interesting kind of unrelated question, but i noticed that u write in present tense!! it's just been awhile since i've been properly exposed to it, and i appreciate the way u do it consistently, as well as using past tense in the proper places 💔 sorry some grammar things like that bug me all the time, so i just had to say THANK U !!! OH MY GOD i was supposed to ask if u preferred past or present tense more?? - okok so changmin just latched onto reader's arm and i had a little fuzzy thing happen to me cuz my mom does something like that to me too and it always makes me feel good, like its such a little thing but theres so much affection stored in the gesture - the way i imagined jacob's intro in slow-mo 😃🤧

Changmin hugs you and puts his whole weight on you, making your pace slower. “I’m just flattered that you think about me all the time.”

- i. i cried he's so cute he can hang off me all the damn time idc - AHHH the motif of linked arms throughout the first part so far :') - totally understand that existential crisis feeling 😔 i know i prob am yet to know everything as a rising second year, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to get to where we need or do what we want - i am in fact envisioning this entire thing like a movie/tv show and it is fantabulous (jacob has just said the byline line and the next bit abt reading love from a poet's pov but when u experience it for urself, it turns out to be slightly different, like ur very own experience, ofc) - "bitch say something" ME 💀

Jacob laughs as he takes out his laptop and says, “I get it. Sometimes, it gets hard to really tell whether you like a friend because you see them as a potential partner or you like what’s familiar.”

- looks EMPHATICALLY in changmins direction - i love moonbae so much 😔 they WOULD be the type to take a younger student under their wing and :') - love u twice is playing and changmin just drank too much for yn and im SAD - JACOB MINI VAN MAN???? - wah, its nice to see that they still try to hang out w one amother despite their busy schedules. i feel like the older i am, the less im inclined to hang out w people. i feel like the slightest bit of work or interaction tires me out, and so i dont really hang out w people as much as i used to. some days i do crave having this kind of connection w a group of friends tho. i just love how u wrote them, not like the all's-well kind of group, but they have their own things but they never fail to think of the others, if that makes sense - OMG AN INVITE TO THE DAMCE STUDIO 😃 i feel like something ALWAYS happens in the dance studio - NO DIGGITY MONI DO U WANT ME TO DIE.

“I’m glad to be here, you know?” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I like to know that as we grow in the things we like to do, we’ll always be there to witness each other reach heights we used to dream of.

- this bit and the paragraphs afterward gave me literal shivers, the good kind ofc. something speaks so loudly abt being there to see the people u love get to achieve what they've been chasing after. i LOVE quiet moments of reflection like this that characters experience - reminding each other that they deserve so much and the very best ☹️ - yn appealing to changmins physical touch love language sends me into orbit, im so... im so T-T - listening to baby blue by luke hemmings, vibe-alicious tune that feels oh-so right as they lie beside each other and bask in the other's presence. thats what i want. - DOKYEOM !!! my beloved slice of sunshine - not me realizing i've prob been spelling cruella de vil's name wrong this whole time 💀💀

“Can you stop smacking me?”

- respectfully, no 😁😋 hehe - OMG YNS DOING HIS MAKEUP??? A DREAM SCENARIO OF MINE??? this has to be fan service moni i cant handle this im not antifragile - EXCUSE ME. IM TELLING U THAT MY JAW IS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR UR SAYING THAT MASTERFUL MOMENT OF TENSION AND "say no and i wont" WAS A MFKING DREAM??KENDKSNDKDMDK MONI. MONI U CANT DO THIS TO ME U SIMPLY CANNOT I AM NOSNDKEJDKE

FINAL THOUGHTS: lmao so i was actually reading this in bed right and then blr decided to be absolute ass and now i'm out of bed to type this out on my computer TT BUT IT'S WORTH IT!! moni, omg, this was so beautiful like,,, i imagine a lot of things like a movie, but this felt so REAL, like everything was so organic and reader and changmin's relationship, as well as everyone else's, was so beautifully done. this whole thing just felt so warm and comforting to me, like idek how to explain it, but it put me at ease? if that makes sense? anyways, very much looking forward to the second part and to see just how screwed changmin is :D

[part one] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, expect a lot of sentimental talks and bantering between changmin and reader, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a shithead (and a terrible wingman), slight chanhee x hyunjae (very minimal though), you used to have a crush on sunwoo by the way and now your friends like to laugh about it, sweet angel jacob with his SIGNATURE SMILE!!!, also he may not be unattainable after all???, changmin and reader are so lucky to have each other, slight suggestive dream at the end

word count ➵ 18.8k words (currently... more words to come once i write the 2nd part)

parts ➵ [part two coming soon]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @winterchimez

a/n ➵ i am so glad to finally have this baby out!! i worked on this a few days after i published my sunwoo fic so :DD was debating whether this would be a changmin or jacob fic but the stars just pointed and my kyu <3 this is very slow burn so i hope you guys will stick with me all throughout! and please be kind if i fail to deliver the 2nd part asap </3 i have other writer duties </3 i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

There is something frightening that comes with growing up. First, you come into the world with hands too small to carry anything and a mind unable to grasp anything. And no matter how many years you continue on, you never know what to expect from a fickle thing called life. It is as if you impart on a dangerous journey; your knees get wounded; your eyes get tired; your heart gets bruised. Yet, there must be something in the end that makes all the injuries worth it.

The universe had many instances to give you reasons to believe that all the ups and downs you go through are worth it. Instead, you are given three demons that crashed into your feeble life—you cannot seem to get rid of them even if you tried.

“Y/N-ah!” A boy you have grown too familiar with over the years calls out to you while you were exiting the stuffy classroom filled with unknown faces.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Sunwoo, have you not gotten tired of me? Can’t last a few hours without me?”

“Yah! I’m only here because you owe me.”

Kim Sunwoo—the reason why you have not known peace since… forever. You got to know him back in grade school where you shared the unfortunate fate of being classmates throughout the years. The shy boy was consistently your seatmate which forced you two to interact. What became casual seatmates turned into best friends that would stick together for every break time.

Somehow, you and Sunwoo have stuck together like glue since then. As the years went by, you have been present for every soccer tournament while he has been present for every competition. And somehow, you found yourselves in high school still joined at the hip. Your friendship has contradicted the popular belief of “losing your grade school friends when you enter high school.” You wish you knew how your friendship continued to survive in college waters.

“I owe you? Doesn’t the favor I asked from you make up for the one you asked from me then?” You frown as you walk with him.

Sunwoo nudges you and says, “That is not what we agreed on.”

“You are literally going off on your own terms, be for real.”

“C’mon Y/N! Don’t you love your best friend of 12 years?”

You give him a side-eye. “I cannot believe you are trying to play that card right now.”

“I always play that card.” Sunwoo shrugs, smirking as he walks with you. “I mean, I wouldn’t like to play the old crush card.”

You gasp at his statement and smack him. “I told you that in secret, you little shit!”

“See! So treat me now!”

Since you two grew up together, it was inevitable for you to harbor some form of infatuation towards the one boy you found yourself sticking with. It was an embarrassing period in your life considering how weird it is to think of Sunwoo under that light now. Thankfully, you got over that crush once you found yourself getting into K-Pop idols and streamers.

“You are so frustrating, Sunwoo.” You rest your back on the wall. “Can’t I just treat you another day? I do not have enough money to buy us both food.”

Sunwoo takes his spot beside you as he stares at the closed door opposite you two. “Fine! But don’t forget.”

“You always seem to make it a point to remind me.” You roll your eyes as he nudges you once more.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get back what I was promised. I mean, do you know the lengths I had to go to somehow get Ja–”

You place your hand on his mouth before he could say more. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! You cannot be saying that shit out loud,” you whisper in the last sentence.

He grabs your hand and pushes it off his face. “I’m just saying! I’m not trying to spill your secret for everyone to hear. Do you have no faith in me?”

“You’re really asking me that?” You furrow your eyebrows.

“... Point taken.” Sunwoo gives a sheepish smile. “But it was hard to make it all work! You should be glad that I’m good friends with your little publication team.”

Before you could comment, you notice the door swing open as university students make their way out. You pushed your iPad down into your bag as you stood beside Sunwoo. 

“Yah, Changmin!” Sunwoo calls out as he raises his hand. As you tiptoe, you notice the boy who you have grown to love and hate all throughout high school. Once he catches sight of you two, he smiles and makes his way to you.

“Yay! You guys did wait for me,” Changmin says as he quickly stores his glasses away.

“Of course we did. You would scold us if we didn’t,” you say as you roll your eyes.

Sunwoo laughs. “Nice one, Y/N.” He gives you a high-five.

“Hey! You would get mad if I didn’t wait for you.” Changmin shakes his head as he latches onto your arm.

You chuckle and say, “Yeah, I would.”

Ji Changmin—what could you say about this one? Despite the chaos he brings to your world, he seems to be the one person you could handle in big doses. You love Sunwoo but the guy will not get off your ass.

Thanks to Sunwoo, you met Changmin in high school. When Sunwoo decided to look into other extra-curricular activities, he found himself falling in love with dance. And dance brought him to Changmin. The two shared a love for dancing as they found themselves on the dance team representing your school. With all the times Sunwoo and Changmin got along, Sunwoo felt it was only best to bring you and Changmin together.

It is funny to remember how you two first met. At first, you thought you and Changmin would just be friendly—only interacting if Sunwoo planned something among you three.

At first, you did not feel particularly happy about hanging out with Changmin. When you say this, you can only imagine the way people would react. Everyone seemed to love him just at first glance. You though… you were terrified of the guy. Maybe it is because there were not enough instances for you to get to know each other. It did not help that he was two years above you.

Sunwoo seemed to be the glue to keep your friend group of three together. However, it was only when you first joined your high school’s publication team that you got to see Changmin without Sunwoo. It came as a surprise to you then—seeing one of the best dancers in your high school do something that is not dance (minus studying, of course).

At first, you two were awkward as you worked without Sunwoo there to be his usual self. However, the more instances you worked one-on-one with Changmin, the more you realized that there is nothing to be afraid of. With his photos and your writings, you two became an unstoppable team in the publication.

You could remember when Sunwoo first noticed the change in dynamics between you and Changmin. What started off as jigsaw puzzle pieces that did not fit together turned into peas in a pod. Though you never expected that Changmin’s bantering with you could be worse than Sunwoo’s.

“Changmin, you never hold onto me,” Sunwoo says as he glares at you two.

“Because every time I do, you run away from me,” Changmin throws back as he shakes his head. “And Y/N never gets sick of me from holding onto them.”

The three of you started to walk side-by-side. “Where’s Chanhee?” Changmin asks.

“He said to meet him in the ramen place across the athletics building,” you answer as you try to fish out your phone from your pocket. You look down at your phone and send a message to Chanhee as your two friends talk.

y/n: we are on the way xP nyuging 🐧: okie! i got us a table already nyuging 🐧: don’t forget we need to work on the small businesses coverage after y/n: yessir! i’m free after we eat nyuging 🐧: are u fr? man, i have lit class right after the interviews nyuging 🐧: with mr. choi 😭 y/n: NOOOOOOOOO who tf am i gonna stay with nyuging 🐧: not my problem xP nyuging 🐧: you could actually stay with mr. bae 💗😍 y/n: STFUUUU

You groan over Chanhee’s message. “Why?” Changmin looks over at you.

“Chanhee can’t stay with me after we finish up the interviews, and I have to wait for my meeting around 5 PM.”

Changmin sighs and says, “Sucks to be you.”

“Nice one, Changmin.” Sunwoo laughs as he high-fives Changmin.

“Yah! Changmin, you don’t want to stay with me?”

“I have other important things to handle.”

You glare at Changmin and shrug his hand off your arm. “I’m not offering to drive you around anymore. Get used to walking.”

“Yah, I’m just joking!” He jokes around and attempts to grab onto your arm once more.

Sunwoo whines. “Why don’t you bother to ask me?”

“Because I know you’re going to use that time to bother me about how I still owe you.” All he could do was giggle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you because I know you can’t survive without me.” Changmin smiles as he brings you closer to his side.

You side-eye the boy who manages to rile you up even more than Sunwoo can (maybe it is because you are used to Sunwoo’s antics). “You are so annoying.”

“Yah! Keep that shit up and I’m actually going to ditch you.”

“HEY! Don’t say that! Please, you know I’m never going to get any work done if I’m left alone.”

Changmin scoffs. “Exactly. That is why you need me.” You roll your eyes over his words.

It seems to always be like this with Changmin—sometimes warm, oftentimes cold to you. You did not mind the dynamic you had with him. If anything, it felt perfect since you learned to see how he shows his appreciation towards you without outright saying it. Regardless of the banter, you always find yourself being more sentimental with him compared to your other friends.

Before you could say anything, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N!” As you whip your head in the direction of where the sound came from, you see the guy of your dreams. Jacob Bae—the unattainable 5th-year in your publication.

The first time you met Jacob was when you got accepted into your university’s publication. Being the only fresh recruit in the Features staff, your editor, Moon Kevin, decided it would be best to get you acquainted with the small crew. Jacob was a senior when you first got to meet him.

Despite usually being terrified of those who were a few years older than you, there was something about him that made you feel at ease. Whether it was his smile or his soft-spoken tone, you always found yourself smiling over the thought of him. Although you never got the opportunity to work with him, you can only hope it would change this year considering your staff was short on manpower.

Your mouth goes dry as you freeze in your place. “Oh my god.”

“Oh no, please act cool,” Sunwoo mumbles as Jacob makes his way to you three.

Changmin nudges him and says, “You know they will not act cool.” Before more words could be shared, Jacob arrives in front of you with that soft smile that never fails to make your insides all mushy.

“Hey, Y/N!” The way he says your name almost has your knees go weak.

A beat of silence passes. You did not know what to say to the senior you had the biggest crush on. It is only when Changmin nudges you that snaps you out of your trance.

“Ah, Jacob! It’s so nice to see you. W-where are you headed?” You squeak out as you give an awkward smile.

“I’m headed to meet with Kevin. I have an article to cram so he’s going to make some edits while I write.”

You gasp and say, “Oh god, good luck. I feel like I’d be too pressured to write anything.”

“Thankfully I’m used to it.” Jacob takes a look at Sunwoo and Changmin. “Hi, I’m Jacob. I’m on the same staff as Y/N.”

Once he puts his hand out, Sunwoo immediately grabs and shakes it. “It’s nice to meet you, Jacob hyung. I’m Sunwoo. I’m also friends with Kevin hyung.”

“Ah, you’re Sunwoo! Yes, Kevin has mentioned you.” Jacob gives a sheepish smile before he takes a look at Changmin. “And you are, Changmin?”

Changmin’s eyes go wide, shocked at Jacob knowing his name. “Yes, that’s me. How did you know?”

Jacob chuckles. “I know it because I have some friends from the Sports staff who cover a lot of stories about the dance troupe that you and Sunwoo are part of. Also, I’ve heard Y/N and Chanhee talk about you.”

Changmin smiles at you and pretends to hold his heart. “You talk about me? Awe, you two really cannot live without me.” You only elbow his side so that he could stop embarrassing you in front of Jacob.

“Anyway, it’s so nice to see you again.” You smile once more at him.

Jacob giggles and says, “Good luck with your coverage of small businesses. I wish I could’ve worked on that with you. I’ll see you later at the meeting?” You only nod to which he smiles.

“Bye Y/N!” And with that, Jacob walked away from you, leaving you with a heart so mushy.

“You seriously need to get better at making your feelings less obvious,” Changmin breaks the mood which only has you elbow him once more.

“You were literally embarrassing me in front of him!” You quietly exclaim as you three continue to walk to the restaurant.

Changmin hugs you and puts his whole weight on you, making your pace slower. “I’m just flattered that you think about me all the time.”

“You know damn well that Chanhee and I are complaining about you.”

Sunwoo laughs and says, “I can’t believe I’m the safe one here.”

“Yah, you are in no way safe. Tell him, Y/N.” Changmin attempts to argue as he stops hugging you (though his arm remains linked with yours).

You sigh and say, “Sadly, he is. I’m used to Sunwoo’s antics and I don’t spend as much time as I used to with Mr. Popular. You, however… I am getting sick of you. Chanhee is too.” Changmin gasps at your words.

“Yeah, I’m ditching you.”

“Changmin, I’m just joking! Please don’t leave me alone.”

It is 2:23 PM. You were with Chanhee as you were wrapping up your interview with the owner of the restaurant, Mr. Lim. The small business has a cozy feel whose dishes focus on the fusion of Korean and Filipino food.

“Thank you so much for letting me interview you!” You and Chanhee bow down to Mr. Lim.

He only shakes his head and hands out a small bag of thin butter cookies. “Please, it’s my pleasure. I look forward to reading that article! Enjoy these lengua de gato.”

“Ah, thank you so much!” Chanhee smiles. “We’ll make sure to visit you again, Mr. Lim!”

As you bid your farewells, you two made your way out of the restaurant. You and Chanhee walked while looking down at the notes and pictures taken.

“How are your pictures?” You ask as you peer over Chanhee’s shoulder to look at the viewfinder.

Chanhee lets out a hum as he scrolls through the photos he took. “I just need to do some minimal edits, but everything looks pretty good. Is your recording good?”

You nod at him as you play a snippet of the recording to him. “It sounds clear. I just hope that it doesn’t get corrupted like last time.”

“God, I remember when your recording got corrupted—in your first coverage too!”

You groan as you quickly stash away your phone and notes. “Don’t even remind me! I felt so bad because you were working with me too. Do you even know how embarrassed I was?”

“Of course I did. I could literally see the anxiety ooze from you when you were still a first-year student.”

You met your third devil, Choi Chanhee, in the publication. Although he is part of the Photos staff, you had the opportunity to work closely with him during your very first coverage for the university’s paper.

You remember it clear as day—you were tasked to cover the rise of artificial intelligence programs, specifically on the benefits and harm of these in the academe. He accompanied you to your interview with one of the professors since he was tasked to take pictures. However, your recording got corrupted and you were left with minimal notes. That is when you first learned the importance of taking note of everything.

Chanhee has been the nicest one out of the three devils you know. So far, you were always paired with him for all of your coverages. With so much time being spent together, you formally introduced him to your two best friends who seem to bully him in the same way they do with you. It helped that he is in the same batch as Changmin. Now, your friend group has expanded to four.

“I swear, I remember how much I cried to Kevin that day because I felt so bad,” you admit as you shake your head at the memory.

You two continue to walk until you finally arrive at Morning Roasters—the cafe you seem to frequent with Chanhee. He introduced you to this cafe when you had to cram an article on drag queens who studied at your university for June. 

“Why don’t you find a table and I’ll get our drinks?” Chanhee asks as he grabs his wallet. You nod and take a look around the packed cafe. It seemed as if every table was taken. However, when your eyes land on a familiar boy who was focused on his laptop, you could only smile.

“Changmin-ah!” You exclaim as you make your way to him.

When he looks up from his work, he rolls his eyes at the sight of you. “See, I told you I would stay with you.”

You take a seat beside him and lean your head on his shoulder. “Thanks. You know I wouldn’t have gotten any work done if I was left alone.”

He only hums as he continues to type away. “How was the interview? Did it go well?”

“Yeah, the owner is really nice. He gave us a bag of cookies,” you say as you place it on the table.

“Mr. Lim is nice. We should really eat there one day.”

Changmin stops typing and grabs the bag of cookies. As he attempts to open it, you elbow his side which he yelps at. “You’re not even going to ask if you can have some?” You scold him as you lift your head up from his shoulder.

“Can I have?”

You only roll your eyes. “Whatever, go.”

“The only reason he does that is because you react that way,” Chanhee says as he appears in front of you two with a cup of iced matcha for you and peach iced tea for himself.

“That’s true,” Changmin says before he finally grabs himself a cookie. As he takes a bite of it, he lets out a small moan at the taste. “Hey, you need to try this.”

Curious over Changmin’s reaction, you and Chanhee grab yourselves a piece and take a bite. “Oh shit, that’s good,” You say as you take one more bite of the milk cookie.

Chanhee takes a look at the time. “Oh shit, I need to go! I’ll see you in the meeting later!”

Before you and Changmin could say bye, Chanhee was already out of the cafe.

“Well, time to get to work,” Changmin says as you open your laptop.

As you peer over at Changmin’s screen, you notice that his screen was opened to a site you have not seen in a while.

“Oh my god, is that our high school publication?”

Changmin hums and says, “Yeah, I was just looking at some of my old photos. It’s crazy because I look at them and I feel a part of myself cringe. Like, why is it so bad?”

You laugh as you open the document that had your draft. “You would think that being accepted into your high school’s publication meant that you were a good writer or photographer. I feel like I have learned so much more now than I did then.”

The reality is that you only continue to learn—to grow in the work that you do. While growth may never be linear, it is a journey. Although Changmin found himself giving up on photography, you never let yourself give up on writing. But you two understood that he only wanted to invest more time into another hobby turned passion. 

For a moment, it is silent between you two. As you continue to type away, you notice that Changmin is still looking at his old articles. When you take a look at his face, you see that he is deep in thought.

“Hey, what’s up?” You ask which breaks him out of his trance.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking.”

“You want to share?”

For a moment, Changmin does not reply. It is usual for him to not want to share his sentiments. You never held it against him, but there are times when you wished he would feel safer to open up to you. You remember how easy it is for him to hide what he is going through.

“I… I was just thinking about how I managed to balance dance, the publication, and my studies back in high school. Now, I feel like I barely have time to keep up with dance or my work.” You only hum at his words.

“I think I just miss photography but not to the point where I would join the publication again. I don’t have the time anymore, but I do miss it, you know?” Changmin asks to which you nod.

“Yeah. I never realized how much time I had back in high school. Now, I feel like I’m drowning in… everything, really. I can only imagine it seems harder for you because you have the thesis to worry about.”

Changmin groans and says, “Oh god, why did you have to remind me!” He rubs his eyes. “I am literally suffering from this alone! At least I don’t need to deal with crap groupmates.”

You only laugh as you type away. “Well, you could still do some free-lancing while you’re working as a preschool teacher.”

“That is if I graduate on time,” Changmin purses his lips as he finally exits his old articles and looks at his thesis.

You nudge his shoulder. “Hey, I believe you can. And if you can’t, you’ll be fine. It’s normal.”

Changmin takes a good look at you as you continue to add some new information to your draft. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.” You only smile at him before you two decide to go back to work.

It is 7:32 PM. You were exhausted from your meeting with the Features staff and some people from the Photos staff (though it was still nice to see Jacob). Kevin spent a lot of the time going through what story pitches could be pursued for the rest of the first semester. Your brain felt exhausted from it all. However, there was something good that came from the meeting.

“Y/N, you will be working with Jacob on the coverage of K-Pop student idols here at our university.” You immediately look up at Kevin whose eyes are still focused on the iPad. “You two will also work on drinking culture amongst students and hustle org work lifestyle. Chanhee will be your assigned Photos staffer, as always.”

Your eyes land on Chanhee who has a small smile as he looks down at his camera. For a moment, you are scared to look at Jacob.

“Me? Really?”

Kevin hums as he finally looks up from his iPad. “Yeah. Since we’re short-staffed, I thought it would be good to just have some more collaboration articles to streamline all the work.”

You take this chance to look over at Jacob who seemed to be looking at you already, that godforsaken smile on his face. Your heart does somersaults at the idea of him looking at you without even noticing.

“Y/N?”

You snap out of your daze and finally give Kevin a nod. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

He smiles at you and says, “Well, that settles it. Jacob and Y/N will work on those three pitches while Seungcheol and Yunjin on the beauty standards and Halloween culture coverages. Lastly, Chaeyeon will work on the polyamory pitch.”

As everyone agrees with the assigned pitches, Chanhee nudges you. “Jacob hasn’t stopped looking at you.” Once he whispers those words, you feel your eyes drift over to Jacob who still had his eyes set on you.

You had no idea how you managed to get through that meeting without freaking out over that new piece of information. It sounded weird when you phrase it that way, but you are no better than a high schooler in love whenever you were thinking about him.

“That meeting felt a little too long,” Chanhee groans as he stretches his back.

You two were seated by the benches near the athletics center, admiring the starry sky. “I know. Kevin is stressed though so I can understand that he really wants to fix everything.”

With your staff smaller than last year, the Features staff could only pursue a few pitches. For Kevin, he cares about the well-being of each member which is why it made sense for him to have a meeting to ensure everyone was alright with their assigned workload.

“At least you’re gonna work with Mr. Bae,” Chanhee teases you which makes you elbow his side.

“Chanhee! Be quiet.”

Chanhee whines. “Oh come on! Don’t you want to talk about it?”

“I do but not here!”

“You’re so boring.” You only glare at him for a moment before you tilt your head back and close your eyes.

For a moment, you wanted to let yourself rest. It is until you feel someone tap your shoulder. “Chanhee, can’t you just–”

“Hi, Y/N.” Your eyes snap open as you see Jacob looking over you.

You quickly sit up straight and say, “Ah, Jacob! It’s so nice to see you.”

“Yeah. Are you waiting for Sunwoo and Changmin?”

Chanhee nods. “Yeah, I think they’re just wrapping up.”

Jacob hums for a moment as he looks at the athletics center that is still lit up. “I’m also waiting for my friend. I don’t know if you guys know him but it’s Juyeon.”

“Of course, we know Juyeon hyung. He’s just as good as Changmin when it comes to dance,” Chanhee answers.

Jacob chuckles and says, “Kevin, Juyeon, some other friends, and I are supposed to be catching dinner. What about you guys?”

“Same here.” You scratch your arm. “But also because I’m going to be dropping them off at their place.”

“Oh, you drive? That’s cool.” You nod as you look down at your lap, shy over Jacob’s words.

Chanhee scoots further away from you. “Jacob hyung, do you want to take a seat?”

“Oh, thank you!” He says as he quickly moves to take a seat beside you. You feel yourself hold your breath over the distance between you two. You hated that you felt this way about this guy. 

“Y/N-ah.” You look up from your lap and look over at the guy beside you. “I don’t think I ever got to tell you this but I’m excited to work with you. I’ve seen your articles from last year and they’re really good.”

You cannot help the smile (or blush) that creeps up on your face. “Please, I am so honored to work with you. I mean, I’ve seen your byline how many times on articles I really loved reading.”

Jacob softly nudges your shoulder. “I’m glad that we’ll have our bylines beside each other.”

As a writer, you felt yourself die inside. You have heard poets speak of love in a way you could never utter. Yet, hearing Jacob say a phrase just as simple as that had you reimagining what love should be.

For a moment, you do not know what to say. Your eyes remain on him as he continues to look at students finally making their way out of the athletics center. You notice Chanhee peering over and mouthing the words “Bitch, say something.”

Before you could say anything, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N! Chanhee!” You whip your head to see Sunwoo running up to you guys with Changmin following behind.

“You would not–oh? Jacob hyung? It’s so nice to see you,” Sunwoo says as he tongues his cheek.

Changmin’s eyes widened at the sight of you and Jacob seated side-by-side. “Ah, Jacob hyung! Hello again.”

“Hi again. I’m just waiting for Juyeon actually.”

“Oh, he was just with us,” Changmin says as he looks back only to see Juyeon running to you four.

Juyeon pants and says, “Sorry! I just had to handle something real quick.”

Jacob gets off the bench and stands beside him. “First off, this is Juyeon. Juyeon, this is Chanhee and Y/N. They’re both from the school’s newspaper also.”

Juyeon’s eyes go wide. “Oh, you’re Y/N! Jacob hyung has mention–” Jacob quickly elbows him before he could say more to which he yelps. You feel your eyes go wide at the information.

“Ow! Jacob hyung, you didn’t need to hit me,” Juyeon complains as he rubs his side.

“Anyway, it’s nice to see you guys. Y/N, I’ll see you soon,” Jacob gives his signature smile before he walks off with Juyeon.

For a moment, you stay seated on the bench as Changmin, Chanhee, and Sunwoo look at each other.

“Did Juyeon just say… what I think he just said?” Sunwoo finally speaks out.

“Yah!” Chanhee smacks your arm. “Did you hear him?! Jacob has talked about you!”

You cannot help but smile at the events that just played out. “Ah, look at that smile,” Changmin says as he shakes his head.

Sunwoo chuckles as he grabs your arm. “C’mon, let’s talk about what happened over dinner.”

It has been a few days since you first got paired with Jacob. You still cannot believe that the only reason that you finally get to work with him is that Sunwoo somehow spilled your secret to the one person you only hoped would never find out.

“What do you mean you told him?! Are you serious?!” You reacted as you stood up from your seat with your hands planted on the table.

“In my defense, Kevin hyung somehow connected the dots and would not believe me every time I denied it,” Sunwoo says as he raises his hands in defense.

After a long day, your friend group found themselves in Changmin and Chanhee’s place with boxes of Chinese takeout in each person’s hands. While you were talking about the events that transpired during the meeting, you noticed guilt prominent on Sunwoo’s face.

“Sunwoo! I only asked you to invite Kevin and Jacob to Eric’s next party, whenever that may be,” You groan as you find yourself collapsing back into your seat.

You feel someone bring your head to their shoulder as they rub on your arm. “You had one job. How could you have possibly fucked it up?” Chanhee asks as he shakes his head.

“Oh c’mon! I really tried to convince Kevin to bring Jacob to Eric’s Halloween party. I think it’s because he knows I don’t know Jacob at all. And he knows I’m best friends with you! Won’t you cut me some slack?” Sunwoo pouts as he tries to reach out for your hand.

You only scowl at him and cross your arms. “I am never asking you to be a wingman for me. I should’ve just gone to Changmin or Chanhee for this.”

“There’s no way Kevin didn’t connect the dots earlier with how you act around his best friend,” Changmin jokes after he takes a slurp of his black bean noodles.

You frown at him as you raise your head from Chanhee’s shoulder. “Be so for real right now. There’s no way he noticed because it’s not like I interact with him enough for Kevin to even see if I have a crush on him.” You nudge Chanhee which causes him to choke on his noodles. “Back me up here.”

“Are you kidding me?” Chanhee coughs out before he wipes his mouth. “I was literally eating.”

“Just back me up!”

He rolls his eyes. “Sure, I guess.”

Changmin smiles at Chanhee’s words. “See! Clearly, Kevin noticed.”

“Chanhee just said he agrees with me!”

“I really don’t. I just want to eat my noodles,” Chanhee says, which causes you to smack his arm.

You groan and say, “You all suck. Even Eric is nicer to me and we barely interact.”

“Yeah, but you love us.” Changmin winks at you. “You can’t survive without us three.”

You only scowl since he was pointing out the truth.

Now that you know that Kevin is aware of your silly crush on Jacob, you have been on edge. You were afraid that he might have told Jacob since it seemed like something he would want to mention. That is why you were with Changmin as you anxiously waited for the arrival of the one 5th-year student who seemed to make you hyperaware of your own actions.

“I’m so scared.”

“You’ll be fine.”

You groan as you keep staring at the door. Currently, you and Changmin were at the university’s outdoor area with enough picnic tables for a hundred students. Although you two had your laptops out, only one was clearly focused on their work (clearly, it was not you).

“Changmin!” You exclaim as you finally reach out to the guy beside you, gripping his arm. “Do you think Kevin told him?”

Changmin rips his eyes away from his thesis document and gives you a good look. “Yes.” Once you let out a whine, he only laughs as his eyes set back on the unfinished document. “You will be fine! All you need to do is act natural… if you can.” As he mutters those last words, you smack his arm.

“Oh god, what if he just ditches on the meeting?”

“You are seriously overthinking this.”

“I mean, I would ditch a meeting if I found out someone younger had a crazy crush on me.”

Changmin looks at you and gives you a frown. “Are you really that unprofessional? Do you really think Jacob hyung would be that unprofessional?”

“No, but he could still surprise me,” you say as you look at your opened document that showed your possible list of interviewees for the K-Pop idol students coverage.

Changmin scoffs and says, “Yeah, just give him the benefit of the doubt. Also, I could never imagine anyone younger having a crush on you—let alone anyone liking you that way.”

You gasp and shove Changmin to the side. “Ji Changmin! How could you say that!”

“What? It’s true though!” You only frown at his words and look back at your document.

“Yah, leave now. I hate talking to you.”

“I’m just joking!” He hugs you. “Those who don’t think of you as someone crush-worthy are just blind.” You only hum as you continue to type away. “Though, it would still be weird to even imagine it.”

“Yah!” You shove his arms away as he only laughs.

You sigh as you look at him and back to your document. “I can’t believe I have put up with you for 5 years.”

“Yeah, remember when you used to like Sunwoo?” You shove him once more which only has him erupt into giggles.

“What? It’s just funny to think about,” Changmin admits, which makes you roll your eyes.

“You used to like Sunwoo?” Both yours and Changmin’s heads whip up to see a confused Jacob.

Your lips part open. “J-jacob! We didn’t notice you got here.”

Jacob chuckles as he scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It’s just that while walking to you two, I overheard that part of the conversation.” He then takes a seat across from you two.

“Oh.” You scratch your arm. “It’s nothing like that. It was just a small crush then because we grew up together. But when I look back at it, it’s just so silly! Like, me liking Sunwoo? So weird, am I right?” You elbow Changmin which only has him yelp. “Right, Changmin?” As you look at him, you give him a smile that only says “Say something.”

“Y-yeah, it was a weak moment for them. It’s something the group laughs about because they got over it so quickly,” He says as he smiles at the guy older than him.

Jacob laughs as he takes out his laptop and says, “I get it. Sometimes, it gets hard to really tell whether you like a friend because you see them as a potential partner or you like what’s familiar.”

For a moment, you process his words. “Yeah… that’s exactly it.” You nod.

Jacob is right. When it comes to liking a friend, the reason behind it tends to get confusing—the line between a potential partner and just someone familiar tends to get blurred. When you looked back at your strong and short-lived crush on Sunwoo, you realized that you never got a good understanding of whether those feelings were as genuine as you thought they would be.

He hums as he opens his laptop to the document you share with him. “Anyway, it’s nice to see you. Also you, Changmin.”

“Yeah.” Changmin closes his laptop and puts it in his bag. “I’ll head out since I’ve got a meeting to attend to.”

“Oh, I see! It was still nice to see you,” Jacob says with a smile so precious; you wish you could capture it.

Changmin smiles back at him before giving you one final look. “Just call me when you’re done, okay?” You nod at him to which he gives you a squeeze on the shoulder and a wink.

With that, he left your table. You watched him walk away with a little bounce on his feet. As you look back at the person in front of you, you realize that you are now alone with Jacob.

“Are you ready to work?” As soon as you nod, he gives you that all-knowing smile that speaks a thousand comforting words. 

It is 6:38 PM when Sunwoo decides to barge into your room. It has been three days since you had your meeting with Jacob. Other than work, not much happened (though you still keep replaying his smile in your head). You are lying down on your bed with Changmin as you watch Lee Youngji’s No Prepare with Bibi.

“Let’s go to Mingyu’s party!” You and Changmin pay no attention to him as you continue to watch the video.

Sunwoo groans as he flops down on your bed and says, “C’mon! We haven’t partied in ages. Don’t you guys miss it?”

“No,” Changmin scoffs, which makes him smack Changmin’s leg.

“Y/N? Don’t you want to drink?” He looks at you with glassy eyes and a pout. You only flip him off which makes him whine. “Ah, c’mon! Chanhee said he’d go if you two would. Why don’t you guys want to drink?”

You start to groan and pause the video. “Sunwoo, can’t I watch my girlfriend Bibi in peace with Changmin?”

“No.”

“Sunwoo, I would love to but…” You tap your iPad screen to look at the time. “... I have to study for my test tomorrow. I cannot risk getting a hangover.”

“Then just don’t drink a lot!”

“You know that’s impossible,” Changmin mutters, which makes you smack his arm. “I’m just pointing out the obvious!”

You sit up and say, “Yeah, well… ugh, you’re right. I actually can’t go.”

“Oh, come on! What if we watch over you?” Sunwoo attempts to convince you.

You turn your head to look at Changmin who was already staring at you. “What do you think?”

“Why do you only ask Changmin?”

“Because I know I can’t trust you to watch over me.” You look back once more at Changmin who was deep in thought.

“Fine.” Changmin sighs as he sits up. “I’ll take care of Y/N.”

“Ah, thank you, Changmin!” Sunwoo exclaims as he hugs him.

“Yah, get your hands off me!”

The four of you arrived at Mingyu’s friend group’s shared house at 8:34 PM. The place was filled with students of different years; some you recognized while others were a mystery.

Since the three boys always hung out at your place, they already had some pieces of clothing stored in the corner of your room. All four of you were dressed up in casual clothing adorned with different accessories.

“Okay, we all have to agree that we're leaving together. That means no one is left behind nor does anyone just decide to leave early without our knowledge,” Chanhee says as he points at you and Sunwoo.

You sigh and nod. “We leave at 12:30 AM. And no Sunwoo, we aren’t leaving later than that.” Sunwoo only pouts. “I actually have a class to attend that I cannot cut.”

“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, let’s go!” He exclaims as he drags Chanhee into the house.

You frown as the two disappear from your sight. Changmin links arms with you which makes you look at him. “You’ll take care of me, right?” He only smiles and drags you into the house.

As the two of you were walking, he would greet people he would recognize. It was only when you finally reached the kitchen area that you were pushed to sit down on one of the stools. You watch his back as he mixes up a drink for you.

“Y/N, I’m going to limit you to drinking like… three drinks maybe,” Changmin says as he finally turns to look at you with two red cups in his hands.

As he hands you his mixed concoction, you sniff it. “What is this?”

“Something fruity… like you.” You only roll your eyes as you finally take a sip.

The tanginess of orange and the sweetness of strawberries filled your mouth. “Woah, it tastes like fruit punch. When did you learn to make this one?”

“I’ve made this for you before.” Changmin takes a sip from his cup. “I think you were just too drunk to remember it.”

You frown at him as you take another sip. “I have no idea why I’m here. Man, I should be studying for my test.”

“To be fair, you made me study with you before we started watching Youngji’s video.” Changmin looks through the snack table and grabs some chips for him to munch on. “And you seem to know your shit pretty well. You’ll be fine.”

“That’s true,” You say as you down your drink.

“You finished your drink already?!”

You give a guilty smile as you hand your cup to Changmin. “It was good.”

“Y/N, you’re supposed to drink slowly! You’ll get drunk if you drink way too fast.”

“No way, that shit tastes like juice.”

Changmin groans and says, “Y/N, that has like how many different alcoholic drinks in that cup. There’s like tequila, vodka, and other shit.”

You gasp as he finds something to put in your cup. “Jesus, Changmin! I thought you were going to take care of me.”

“Yeah, but I thought I could trust you enough to at least handle it yourself also. God, drink some water.” Changmin hands you a cup now full of water.

Once you down the cup, you throw the cup away.

“Yo, Changmin!” You hear someone call out your best friend’s name. Changmin sighs as he looks at you.

“You can go to that, I’ll be fine here,” You say with a smile.

“Remember, only three drinks, okay?” Once you nod, Changmin pats your head and makes his way out of the kitchen.

You sat alone as you looked over the snacks in front of you. You were not the type of person to mope around, and you did not want to force your friends to keep you company. With people coming in and out of the kitchen, you decide to grab your phone and look through Twitter to pass the time.

That is until you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N!” When you look up, you are surprised to see Kevin making his way toward you. It is only when he gets closer that you notice the cute 5th-year student trailing behind him.

“Oh! Kevin… and Jacob? It’s so nice to see you here,” you say as you quickly put your phone away. It is not that you did not expect to see Kevin and Jacob—scratch that, it is exactly that. You were not expecting to see your editor and your crush at a party where you were left to your own devices.

“Hey! Why is my favorite writer all alone?” Kevin asks with a pout.

Jacob makes his way to the stool beside you and takes a seat. “Hi,” he says with that familiar smile that still gives you butterflies.

“Ah, I came here with Chanhee, Changmin, and Sunwoo. They just have other friends they’re talking to so it’s fine,” you say as you scratch your arm.

Kevin grabs some fries and pops them into his mouth. “Damn, well don’t you worry. Both Jacob and I are here to keep our favorite 2nd-year some company.”

The best thing about Jacob and Kevin is that they never once made you feel excluded. In the work you do and all social gatherings that the members of the publication are invited to, they always seem to look out for you. Although you may not know the people they were planning to meet at this party, they still chose to stay with you.

“But first, let’s take some shots!” Kevin exclaims which only has Jacob groan.

“Kevin, the last time you did shots you were blackout drunk. Do you not have class tomorrow?”

“I actually do not! My professor decided to cancel class so I am free to drink!” Kevin smiles as he looks through the selection of liquors. “Will you drink with me, Y/N? Since Jacob is the designated driver.”

For a moment, you look back and forth between Jacob and Kevin. You knew that you would be in big trouble if you drank too much. That is why Changmin could not get mad at you if you drank in moderation.

“Yeah, fuck it. I’m not a lightweight.”

What turned into one shot turned into four shots and two cups (you think) of Jacob’s specialty cocktails. If you were not feeling the buzz then, you were definitely feeling it now. It helped that the alcohol was giving you enough confidence to talk to Jacob freely.

“Damn Y/N, you really know how to handle your liquor,” Kevin points out as he takes a sip from his drink prepared by Jacob.

“Jacob, you know how to prepare drinks for someone who does not usually attend parties,” you say with a small giggle following.

He smiles as he takes a sip from his cup of apple juice and says, “I think I could look into bartending if my degree in Korean Language and Literature fails to get me a job.”

“Hey! I still think you could look into singing,” Kevin says as he nudges Jacob.

You feel your eyes widen at the new piece of information. “You sing?” As you start to notice Jacob’s cheeks get tinted pink, you cannot help but hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“Yeah.” Jacob scratches the back of his head. “I’ve been doing it since high school.”

“You write and sing? Jesus, you got everything,” you say as you eat some chips.

“And he’s pretty good at basketball.” You gasp at this newfound information. “That’s what I’m saying!”

Jacob rolls his eyes as he playfully shoves Kevin. “I don’t have everything. I barely know how to dance.”

“Okay, but you could learn!” Kevin bounces his shoulders up and down. “I believe you could be an idol if you wanted.”

“You could have been a perfect interviewee for the K-Pop idol students coverage we’re doing.”

Jacob laughs at what you say and shakes his head. “Yeah, but I like what I do now.”

Kevin sighs as he wraps his arm around Jacob’s shoulder. “You are too humble for this world. You’re like an angel—not everyone will be blessed to have witnessed you.”

“That’s actually… so true. Wait, you kind of cooked with that,” you say which only has Kevin laugh.

“Right? God, I am such a writer.”

Before you could say anymore, you feel someone grab onto your shoulder. When you look behind you, you see Changmin with a disappointed look. “How much did you have?”

You take a moment to process his words which only makes him grab onto your face. “Y/N.” He scolds as he feels how hot your cheeks are from the alcohol.

“I swear, I’m okay,” You say as you clutch his hands that rested on your cheeks.

“How much did you drink?”

“C’mon, Changmin. I swear–”

“How much?”

You sigh as you move your hands back down to your lap. “Like… 2 more drinks.”

“In the time I was gone?!”

“Hey, Y/N said they were fine, right?” Kevin attempts to step in.

You nod which makes Changmin finally let go of your face. “Yeah, I’m okay. I swear.”

He only sighs as he sets his hands on his hips. “You sure?” Once you nod, he finally lets it go.

“Sorry, it’s just that I was in charge of taking care of Y/N but Juyeon and some other people from the dance team called for me. Hi again, Kevin and Jacob hyung.” He smiles at the two.

Jacob smiles and says, “It’s fine, you’re only looking out for them.”

Before more could be said, you hear someone call out your names. “Y/N-ah! Changmin-ah! Come here!”

As you look to where the sound came from, you can see a tipsy Sunwoo waving his arms at you from the living room. “Bring Jacob hyung and Kevin hyung too.”

“Is… he okay?” Jacob asks as he stands up straight.

You get off your stool and say, “I don’t know.”

Before you decide to leave the kitchen, you reach out for Changmin’s hand and drag him out. The four of you make your way past the busy crowd until you finally see Sunwoo, Chanhee, Juyeon, and some other people you did not recognize. At the coffee table, you see different cups and bottles. Yet, there is one particular cup that catches your eye—one filled with whatever you can imagine.

“We’re testing each other’s loyalty.” As soon as Chanhee says that, Changmin groans.

“Are you serious?”

Sunwoo smiles as he wraps his arm around Changmin’s shoulders. “It’ll be fun! Kevin, Jacob, Juyeon, and Hyunjae are in one team while we are in the other!”

“Wait, but I can’t drink. I’m driving,” Jacob says, which only has Kevin laughing.

“Don’t worry, you’ll just be the last.”

In the loyalty game, you are split into two teams. If your team loses playing rock, paper, or scissors, you all have to drink one shared cup of whatever alcohol concoction the other team made. The real test of loyalty lies in how much your team is willing to drink before forcing the last person in line to drink the rest.

Whenever you four played this game, there was always a shithead (usually Sunwoo) who would drink as little as possible so that the remaining members would drink more. You could not get mad at Sunwoo for usually doing such; it sounds like something you would do too. However, with you having a test tomorrow, you really did not want to risk anything.

“Are we really doing this?” You ask as Sunwoo pushes you and Changmin to his side.

Sunwoo only nods as both he and Chanhee have their hands out. “C’mon, we need to decide the order.”

While the other team was busy deciding their order, you four were playing amongst themselves. Despite what you wanted, the universe had its own plans—the order was Chanhee, Sunwoo, Changmin, and lastly, you.

“Oh, c’mon! Sunwoo, your ass better drink,” you exclaim as you groan.

“Has your order been decided?” Hyunjae, someone you only met right before the game, asks which has you four falling in line.

The other team was ordered by Kevin, Juyeon, Hyunjae, and Jacob. As everyone let out their hums of approval, the game began. You were not paying attention to how the game was playing out as you were up in your thoughts. It is only until you come face-to-face with Jacob’s angelic face (though you do not miss that he had his hand out).

“W-what? You guys lost?!” You exclaimed as you looked at the three devils you always seem to be teamed with.

Sunwoo scratches the back of his head and says, “I believe in you?”

“Your tone makes it sound like you don’t!”

“If it helps, you have a good chance of beating me. I usually suck at these,” Jacob says with a smile.

Somehow, you allow yourself to be fooled by that smile. You block out every sound as you continue to be entranced by his features. That is why when you play the game, you do not realize that you played paper while he played scissors.

Jacob’s team cheered as they grabbed onto him. As the opposing team cheered, your team was left disappointed. You all looked back and forth between each other and the singular cup that rested on the table.

“Bottoms up!” Kevin exclaims which has Chanhee pick up the cup.

He gives you three a good look before he takes a big gulp of the drink. With only ¼ of the drink left, he hands it to Sunwoo who only has a sly smirk on his face.

“Sunwoo, don’t you dare.”

Somehow, the universe made sure to give you one shithead that you would have to endure for the rest of your life. It had to be a shithead that you could never imagine life without. Why did that shithead have to be Sunwoo?

Sunwoo only took a small sip from the cup and handed it to Changmin, earning laughs from the opposing team. Although you could hear Chanhee scolding him, it clearly did not matter to him. You and Changmin give a good look at each other.

“Hey, I can handle it,” You say as you try to tug on his arm.

You do not know how many drinks Changmin already had, but you knew that your friend could not handle his alcohol as much as you could. Still, he chose to ignore your protests as he looked back at everyone.

He tipped the cup back and downed more than he could clearly handle. “Wow, Changmin-ah!” The others cheered. You were only left with barely a dribble of alcohol as he finally handed you the cup. Although everyone was happy with how much he drank, you were worried.

“Changmin, you are so strong,” Kevin says as he pats his shoulders.

You notice the way Changmin wobbles in place. “Ah, come on,” you say as you force him and yourself to take a seat on the couch.

“You didn’t have to drink that much,” you scolded him as you signal Chanhee to get some water for the both of you while the others seemed off in their own worlds.

“It’s fine. I didn’t want you to drink too much because you have a test tomorrow,” he says as he leans his head on your shoulder.

Changmin would always spend his time looking out for you even if you did not ask. It has always been like that since you first became friends with him. Somehow, you were always under the care of your best friend. 

You sigh as you rub your hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, but you could have left a little for me. I know you are worse with alcohol than I am.”

Chanhee arrives with two cups of water. “C’mon, drink up.”

You grab your cup and quickly drink it up before setting it down on the table. You grab Changmin’s cup from Chanhee and try to nudge the boy beside you.

“Hey, you need to drink some water,” you say, which makes Changmin finally grab the cup and finish as much as he can.

You nudged him once more to finish the whole cup of water to which he listened. “Good. You need to drink water after how much you’ve drank.”

Chanhee sighs at the sight of his two friends who were sprawled on the couch and said, “Sunwoo, I think it’s time we go.”

“W-what? Why?” Sunwoo whines as he takes a seat beside his drunk friends.

“I’m tipsy and your friend here is fucking drunk,” you say as you point to Changmin whose head was on your shoulder and eyes were getting droopy.

Sunwoo frowns for a moment. “Fine, let’s go.” He attempts to stand up with the help of Chanhee.

“Hey.” You nudge as you whisper to Changmin. “Let’s go home, okay?”

He looks up and stares into your eyes for a moment. And suddenly he erupts into giggles.

“Y/N-ah, your face is so funny.”

You roll your eyes at what he says and nudge him off your shoulder. As he whines, you help him off the couch. His arm wraps around your shoulder as he slouches beside you.

“Hey, let me help,” Jacob says as he helps hold up Changmin.

“Ah, thank you.”

The three of you slowly make your way out of the house and see Sunwoo and Chanhee standing by the sidewalk. You only notice that Kevin followed as soon as he spoke. “Hey, do you and your friends need a ride back to your place?”

“Oh, you don’t have to! We were just going to get an Uber,” you attempt to reassure them.

Jacob shakes his head and says, “No, it’s fine! I think it would be safer for you also.”

You bite your lip as you look at Chanhee. All he does is give you a shrug as he continues to nurse Sunwoo. As soon as you sigh, you decide to give in to your editor’s offer.

“Thank you, Kevin and Jacob. I’m sorry about this. Please let Chanhee and I pay you back for this.”

“It’s fine! It’s nice to see you and your friends,” Jacob says with a smile.

As your group makes its way to Jacob’s car, you notice that his car is big enough to carry at most eight people. Sunwoo and Chahee got in the third row of the car, you and Changmin got in the second row, and Kevin sat in the shotgun. Once Jacob turned on the ignition, you told him the address of Changmin and Chanhee’s place.

The ride was mostly quiet with the occasional grunts from Sunwoo. Changmin was fast asleep on your shoulder as you stared out the window.

Usually, the roles would have been reserved—Changmin would spend most of his time taking care of your drunk ass. Yet, to see him go to such lengths to make sure you do not miss your test warms your heart.

It is 11:35 AM. You were on your way back to Changmin and Chanhee’s place to check up on the three boys. Thankfully, your test was not too hard. You knew that if you studied a little harder, you could have aced it.

As soon as you arrived at their place, you knocked on the door only to be greeted by Chanhee who was pretty alive. “Hey, how are they?” You ask as you step in and remove your shoes to put aside.

“Sunwoo is fine. Changmin, however, is dying. I think he’s just been in bed,” he says as he closes the door behind you.

You quickly make your way to Changmin’s room and open the door to only see him still in bed with squinted eyes. As you pout at the sight, you quietly make your way to the bed and sit down beside him. Due to the sudden action, his eyes snap open which has you show him a guilty smile.

“Hey, Changmin-ah.” You set your hand on his leg and lightly rub it up and down. “Are you okay?”

It takes a moment for him to process your words. As soon as he lets out a groan, you only chuckle.

“I got you something.” You look through your bag and pull out a bottle of hangover cure before dropping it to the floor. “I know you usually drink this before drinking, but I think it would still help you now.”

Changmin only hums one more as his eyes start to get droopy. 

“C’mon, drink this before you go back to sleep,” You say as you scoot closer to him.

You helped him sit up straight and opened the bottle for him. Although Changmin grabbed it, you helped make sure he would finish it before placing it on the bedside table. He started to lie back down on the bed, dragging you along.

“Hey.” You try to move only for him to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle his face into your neck. “Changmin, I–”

Changmin only shushes you. For a moment, you two remain like that. He always seems to cling to you whenever he can. In your time knowing him, you have always noticed that he likes physical touch more than your other two friends. It never bothered you. If anything, it felt nice to know that there would always be someone who would want to cling to you—if he needed to do so, you always found yourself allowing it.

“Changmin-ah, we have practice,” Sunwoo says as he enters the room to see you two cozied up.

As he takes in the sight, he only frowns. “Is he still dead?”

You frown back and whisper, “You guys have dance practice? We should have never gone out drinking, the fuck.”

“To be fair, I was not expecting him to drink that much.” Despite Sunwoo’s attempts to defend himself, you only flip him off.

You look at the guy sleeping next to you, feeling his breath against the side of your neck. The thing with Changmin is that he hates missing practice. There have been instances where he would get a fever and be extremely guilty for missing it.

As you sigh, you look back at Sunwoo who only had a guilty smile plastered on his face. “Let him sleep in. He’s not in the state to practice right now.”

“Y/N, you know he’s going to be mad if he misses out on practice.”

“Well, let him be mad.” You frown. “He can be mad at me for all I care. Let him rest, I already feel bad that he’s like this because of us.” With that, Sunwoo nods and leaves the room.

It is 7:43 PM. You and Jacob finished interviewing Song Yuqi, a member of (G)I-DLE‎. Your next and last interview for your assigned coverage would be four days from now with Choi Yeonjun of TXT. 

“Ah, what a day!” You exclaim as you made your way out of the classroom you were interviewing Yuqi in. Jacob and Chanhee trailed behind you with slouched shoulders.

Chanhee only sighs as he looks through the photos he took. “Tell me about it.”

“Nice work, you two. I can’t believe it’s this late already.” Jacob takes a look at the time. “What do you guys have planned now?”

“I’m actually going to hang out with Hyunjae hyung.”

You gasp at Chanhee’s words and smack his arm. “How come I didn’t know about this?!”

“To be fair, not much has happened. We just exchanged numbers at the party,” he mumbles the last sentence. “Which is why I need to go. I’ll see you guys for Yeonjun’s interview!”

With that, you were left alone with Jacob.

“Care to walk with me?” You give him a smile and nod. As the two of you walked, a comfortable silence came. Throughout your time working with Jacob, you felt happy to be with him whether you two were talking about nothing or everything.

“So, how are you? How’s Changmin and Sunwoo?” You laugh at Jacob’s question.

It has been a week since you went to Mingyu’s party—a week since Changmin took care of you. Throughout the week, you have not been able to spend time with him and Sunwoo due to the press cycle work. Chanhee could easily see them since he lives with Changmin.

At first, you were fine with it since it meant you were spending more time with Jacob (with Chanhee joining every once in a while). You got to learn more about him outside of the image you created in your head.

He has always loved to sing and play basketball since he was young. However, it was only in high school that he obtained this newfound love for Korean literature. The more he ventured into the topic, the more he felt happy with pursuing it as his course.

What surprised you is that he never planned to write for the university’s newspaper. Despite being one of the best writers you know in the publication (not an overstatement), he only applied because Kevin dragged him to do so. You never knew that their friendship went way back since high school.

As the days went by, you started to miss your other best friends. You texted them occasionally in the group chat but not much was said other than reasons why you could not meet up with them. Your time with Jacob sadly could not make up for the fact that you missed hanging out with your best friends.

“They’re okay. I haven’t been hanging out with them that much since the party because of the work we do,” you admit.

Jacob pouts and says, “I can only imagine since they do have practice also. That’s why I find it hard to hang out with Juyeon as well.”

You only sigh as you two make your way out of the building. “Yeah, I just miss seeing them. I know they have been stressed about the upcoming competition also so it doesn’t help that we’re just busy.”

“Yeah, it’s funny how even if we're all in the same university, it’s still hard to find time to hang out.”

Jacob is right. With your friend group coming from different courses, years, and extracurricular activities, it does get hard to find time to meet. Despite fixing your schedules to make sure that you all would have lunch together, some obligations seem to get in the way.

Yet, you four always made it work. No matter how different your schedules may be or how different your priorities are, your friend group always found its way back to each other.

Before you could say more, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Once you take it out, you notice a message from Changmin.

qramzi 🐿️: are you free rn? qramzi 🐿️: if you are, come to the dance studio

“You should go to him.” You look up only to see Jacob smiling at you.

You pout and ask, “How did you know it was from one of them?”

“Just a feeling.” He hums as he looks at the athletics center from afar. “Also, you kind of have this certain smile every time you talk to your friends—it’s nice to see.”

You cannot hide the blush that starts to creep onto your face. It never dawned on you that Jacob has observed you enough to notice such a small detail. As soon as his smile got bigger, you were certain that he noticed how flustered you were.

“I’ll see you a few days from now. Thanks, Jacob.” And with that, you were off to the athletics center.

The moment you got into the center, you could hear the faint sounds of “No Diggity” by Blackstreet from afar. You walked to the source until you arrived in front of the door leading to the main dance studio. As soon as you swung it open, you could see your best friend in the middle of a dance routine.

Changmin was dressed up in jogging pants and a white shirt that was starting to cling onto his torso. You could notice the light shine on his skin, glistening from sweat. Only time could tell how long he has been practicing. 

The moment he spots you through the mirror, he quickly halts his movements and runs toward you. “Y/N-ah!” He barely gives you time to enter the studio and wraps his arms around you.

“Changmin! You’re sweaty!” You complain as he continues to hold onto you. As you closed the doors behind you, he finally let go of you with a big smile on his face. “You get so happy to see me. Maybe I should just avoid seeing you,” you joke only for him to roll his eyes.

“Don’t even try. You know damn well you can’t survive without seeing me too.”

You only smile as you follow him back to the spot where he was practicing. He reached out for his phone to pause the music while you sat on the ground to lean your back against the mirror.

“So, is there any reason you called me here?”

Changmin shrugs as he wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Just missed you, that’s all.”

“Be for real right now.”

“Fine. I need a ride back home.” You roll your eyes as Changmin starts to beg you.

“C’mon! You know how hard it is to find a ride back at this time, especially at our university.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just buy me dinner at least.”

Changmin frowns and asks, “You haven’t eaten?” Once you nod, he shakes his head and grabs his phone before taking a seat beside you. “You really need to eat.” He passes you his phone. “How do you even survive your meetings with an empty stomach?”

“To be fair, I had a late lunch.”

“And what exactly did you eat for your late lunch?”

“Well…” You give a sheepish smile. “Some yogurt.”

“Exactly what I thought. Whatever, just order something for the both of us.”

“That was good,” you say as you rest your hand on your belly.

Changmin is seated across from you with a frown on his face. “Really? I wasn’t able to tell since you practically devoured my food.”

“Hey! You were the one who offered your food to me!”

Changmin laughs and ruffles your hair. “I’m just kidding.” You frown and attempt to fix the mess he created.

“You have a competition, right? At the end of the semester?”

“Yeah.” Changmin sighs as he looks down at his phone. “It’s happening around late November so that it doesn’t coincide with finals season.”

You decide to ask him the golden question. “How is it so far?”

For a moment, Changmin does not respond. He lets his head loll backward and stares up at the ceiling. Before you could say anything more, he started to speak.

“It’s a lot, really. I think it’s sinking in that this will probably be the last competition I participate in since I’m planning to choreograph one of the performances for the year-end concert.” He looks back at you. “I just… want it to be perfect, you know?”

You have always known Changmin to be a perfectionist. Since your time working with him in the publication, he has always been particular about the work he puts out. Sunwoo has also shared his experience with the perfectionist when it came to dancing (and it was not a pleasant experience). Though, you understood where he came from.

“I want my last performance to be something I am proud of…” He takes a deep breath. “Because I know I won’t have another opportunity to dance again.”

As he says those words, you reach out to his hand that rests on his lap and hold onto it. He looks down at your intertwined fingers and shows a small smile at the sight. 

“I understand where this is coming from. I don’t even think it has fully sunk in that you’re graduating already,” you admit as you bite the inside of your cheek.

Changmin chuckles and jokes, “Don’t think you’ll survive without me?”

“Yeah,” you answer without letting a beat pass.

It is true. No matter how independent you made yourself out to be, you knew how much you relied on your friends—most especially Changmin. You have gone so long in your life with your best friends at your side that you never let yourself imagine a life without them.

“It’s almost like when you first graduated high school; I remember I couldn’t stop crying after you graduated.” Changmin laughs at the memory you mention. “You remember that, right?”

“Of course I do. I remember I was comforting you and Sunwoo on the day I was finally free from high school.”

You smile as you look back down at your hand that held him. “It’s just silly to recall. I mean, it already seemed like Sunwoo was set on going to the same university as you—just not me.”

“But you’re here now.”

And you nod as you look back at his eyes. “Yeah, I am.”

Changmin moves to take a seat beside you. With his hand still latched onto yours, he draws circles on the back of your hand.

“I’m glad to be here, you know?” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I like to know that as we grow in the things we like to do, we’ll always be there to witness each other reach heights we used to dream of.”

It is silent for a moment. All you could hear was Changmin’s breathing in sync with yours. You let your eyes close for a minute, happy enough to just be in that moment with your pillar of strength—your very own reason to keep going.

“I’m glad you’re here, too.”

“Ah, thank you so much again for having this interview with us!” You bow with Jacob and Chanhee to express your gratitude to Yeonjun. The four of you have officially wrapped the last interview for the coverage of K-Pop student idols. With Yuqi’s and Yeonjun’s experiences, the three of you got to learn the joys and struggles that come with such a life.

“No, thank you! It was nice to talk about my experience,” he says with a smile. “I’ll be heading out. It’s nice to see you again, Chanhee hyung.” Chanhee gives him a wave before he bids farewell and leaves the room. You sigh happily as you look down at the notes you took.

“Chanhee, you know him?” Jacob asks to which he nods.

“Yeah, I’ve had some classes with him. Not much interaction but he’s alright.”

You nod as you flip through your notes. “He’s cute.”

“Yah!” Chanhee smacks your arm only to make you laugh. “You know how risky it is to pursue an idol?!”

“I’m just saying! Jeez, I’m not going to marry him or anything. I’ll just check the group out,” you whisper those last words which causes him to shake his head.

“Whatever, I can’t stop your ass,” he admits defeat as he stands up from his seat and slings his messenger bag on his shoulder. “Y/N, I’ll catch you later at our place, right?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Thanks, again! I’ll see you two for the next coverage.” With that, Chanhee was off.

Once again, you were left alone with Jacob.

“Hey, Y/N?” Your eyes shoot up to Jacob who was already off his chair. “Do you… want to grab lunch with me?”

“I’m sorry?” You could not believe the words that left his mouth.

“I mean, if you’re busy it’s fine!” Jacob scratches the back of his head. “It’s just that it’s about to be lunchtime.”

You cannot help but smile. Never would you have ever expected to have lunch with your crush—let alone be asked by him too. If there was a way to talk to your younger self, you would talk about this moment.

“Y-yeah! I’m free.” You close your notepad and shove it in your bag. “We definitely can.”

Jacob smiles as soon as you get off your seat. “Great! Do you like pho?”

Once you nod, his smile gets bigger. You do not think you will ever get over that smile.

It is 8:23 PM. You and Changmin were seated on his bed as you stared at the homework on your laptop for your Biology class due tomorrow. Although you were a HUMSS student, you had to take general subjects as it was required in the curriculum.

Despite having the choice to pick amongst the different natural science courses offered, you had the unfortunate fate of being left with Human Biology (you did not even know they offered it to non-STEM students) as the only option. You were usually decent with basic science, but you could not understand anything complex. That is why you were glad to have a friend who was well-versed in it.

“Jesus, which professor did you end up with?” Changmin asks as he skims through the worksheet full of questions you barely understood.

“Mr. Hwang.”

“You got him?!” He exclaims with his eyebrows shooting up. “Even I managed to avoid him because of all the reviews he got.”

You roll your eyes and let yourself plop back on his bed. “I know, and I hate him. It just sucks because his schedule fits my timetable perfectly so I thought it would be fine.”

Changmin clicks his tongue against his teeth and says, “Well, your problem now.”

“I know!” You sit back up and frown at your friend who was reading through your homework. “It was impossible to be transferred to another class because the other classes were clashing with my major classes.”

He nudges your shoulder and says, “At least you have me to help you out.”

Somehow, it took only two hours for you two (mostly Changmin) to accomplish your homework. During that time, it was mostly productive with you getting side-tracked by your phone. It helped that he took his time explaining each question rather than leaving you in the dark.

“You know, you’re a very good teacher,” you point out as you finally submit your work through the online portal.

“What do you expect? I mean, I’m hoping to be a preschool teacher,” Changmin says as he stretches his back.

“I don’t know.” You finally open up another document that had your draft for your first coverage with Jacob. “It’s just nice to experience it first-hand.”

Changmin takes a peek at your screen and pouts at the sight. “More work?” You only hum as you go through Kevin’s comments, approving most edits.

“You’re still working with Jacob, right?” As soon as a smile starts to creep in, he gasps. “How is it?”

“It’s fun!” You shrug as you type on your keyboard to answer some comments your editor has and attempt to reflect it on your second draft. “He’s really reliable, so I’m happy that I’m working with him.”

He smirks. “And?”

“Well…” You bit on the inside of your cheek in an attempt to stop the smile from getting any bigger. “He asked me out to lunch.”

As soon as you reveal that piece of information, he smiles. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, it’s not much.”  You shrug. “I mean, it seemed convenient to just eat together then.”

“Hey, it’s still something,” he says, which makes you feel at ease.

Your best friend is well aware of your very barren love life. If anything, you two were in the same boat. Although you always find yourself jumping from one crush to another, he has never found himself entertaining anyone who was interested.

It is funny—you two are opposites that stick together. While you ramble about all your short-lived crushes, he always listened as if it were the morning radio. However, your crushes never progressed past the infatuation stage. That is why when you share with him your adventures with Jacob, it felt like this was turning out differently from other puppy loves.

You sigh and decide to abandon your work. “He’s a very sweet guy.”

“I’m glad he is. You only deserve sweet ones,” Changmin says, which makes you pout.

“And thank you for always reminding me that.”

It is true—he has always made sure to remind you that you only deserve happiness. No matter how many one-sided crushes, terrible professors, or mental hurdles you faced, he liked to remind you that there is something at the end worth fighting for.

“What about you? Do you have anyone you like or just find interesting?” You decide to finally ask your best friend.

He shakes his head and says, “Nope. I’m so busy with dance and thesis.”

You could only laugh in disbelief. “I’m not asking if you’re planning to date anyone! You really don’t find anyone cute?”

“Ask me again after the competition.” He shrugs before letting himself lie down on his bed. “Right now, there’s no one.”

With your work now abandoned, you let yourself lie down beside him. The two of you stared up at the ceiling as you let silence come between you. You could only hear Changmin’s breathing. Once you rolled onto your side, you let your eyes fall on your best friend.

In that period, you let yourself really take in his appearance; his eyebags have gotten heavier; his shoulders seemed tense; his eyes were on the border of closing. You always knew that your best friend has been tired from his academics and dance, but now was the only time you started to see how it was affecting him physically.

“Hey,” you speak up which has him turning his head to face you. Before you could say anything more, your hand reaches out for his. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”

He gives you a soft smile and intertwines his fingers with yours. Instead of saying anything, he rolls on his side. And with his eyes closed, he brings your linked hands close to where his heart is.

It has been weeks since you and Jacob wrapped up your first coverage together. Surprisingly, you two had minimal edits—almost like a clean close. Kevin seemed happy with the work you two delivered.

“Excellent read! I can’t believe you managed to interview Yeonjun and Yuqi for this,” your editor says as he scans through the article once more. “Plus, Chanhee’s photos and videos are good. Nice call, by the way. I think the videos will help in garnering more attention.”

Kevin quickly switches windows and plays a video of Yeonjun’s interview. “Who did you get from the video editing team to work on this?”

“I worked on it mostly, but Heejin helped in some segments I didn’t know how to execute,” Chanhee answers as he proudly watches his work on Kevin’s screen.

Jacob watches the video in awe and says, “Woah, this is nice. Did you know about this, Y/N?”

“Yup!” You nod as you smile at the three. “Chanhee was showing it to me throughout his editing process. It’s cool to see it come to life.”

You have always known your best friend to be well-versed in photography and video editing. When he initially pitched the idea to you, you wondered why he wanted to do it himself when you had a small staff capable of handling it. However, the process to ring them in would only take too long. Chanhee’s persistence is both a present and a threat—he always found himself pushing limits which could ultimately lead him to his downfall or success.

“God,” Kevin says with a happy sigh. “You three are almost like the perfect team! I’m looking forward to the other coverages. Once the two coverages are done, I will for sure treat you three to some food.” The three of you could only smile at his praise and promise.

Now, it is 9:34 PM. The most anticipated party of the year has finally come—Sohn Eric’s Halloween Extravaganza. Despite him being the same year as you and Sunwoo, everyone agreed that he knew how to party. Last year, you two along with Changmin got hammered while Chanhee was left to take care of you three.

At that same party, you made friends with other members of the publication who were not part of the Features staff while Sunwoo was busy making out with someone from the volleyball team. While Changmin was busy hanging out with people from his dance team and playing drinking games, Chanhee was out talking to someone from the soccer team. It seemed that everyone was happy with what they gained from the party.

Now, you and Sunwoo are seated on the couch at Changmin and Chanhee’s place all dressed up in costume. While you chose to go as Howl Jenkins Pendragon from Howl’s Moving Castle, Sunwoo opted to go as a soccer player.

“Your costume is so generic,” you point out as you look at him from head to toe.

Sunwoo frowns. “I’m sorry that I chose to not weeb out like you.”

As he plays with the soccer ball in his hand, you decide to ask him a question. “Where did you even find the jersey?”

All he does is point to the back of his shirt which has the last name “Lee” and the number ten. “I asked Dokyeom hyung and he had an old jersey that I could borrow.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused to hear that name leave his mouth. “Since when were you and Dokyeom friends?”

“Since that one party where we played the loyalty game,” he says with a smirk. “C’mon Y/N, didn’t you say I was Mr. Popular?”

You could only roll your eyes at the way he flatters himself. “God, you are so annoying. And also so boring. I can’t believe you chose to dress up as your old sport just because you want to make out with someone.”

Your best friend shrugs with a smirk still resting on his lips. “Or go up to the fourth base with someone.” As soon as he says those words, you scrunch your face up in disgust.

“Changmin! Chanhee! Please save me from this fucktard!” Sunwoo shoves your arm which only makes you laugh. You spot Chanhee finally leaving his room all dressed up in a blue jumpsuit and goggles sitting on the top of his head.

“Ah, you did end up going with Pororo!” You exclaim with a smile on your face.

Chanhee spins around in place to show you two his whole fit. “Does it look nice?” He asks with a shy smile on his face.

“Yeah! It suits you,” Sunwoo says, which allows Chanhee to feel relieved.

“Where’s Changmin? It’s almost 10 PM!” You say as you stand up from the couch. Chanhee only shrugs as he takes a seat beside Sunwoo. “I don’t know what’s taking him this long.” You sigh and walk towards the door of Changmin’s room.

“Changmin!” You knock on his door. “We’re waiting for you.”

No response. With a frown on your face, you swing the door open. As you step into the room, you notice that everything has been tidied up in his room, no sign of him getting ready. You tilt your head at the sight, clearly confused.

“What the fuck? Chanhee, he’s not even here!” Before you could do any more, you felt someone grab onto your shoulder with a menacing whisper following right after. 

“Peekaboo.”

As soon as you hear those words, you screech. “What the fuck!” You spin around only to reveal that the sinister voice belonged to Changmin whose smile was bigger than ever. As you take in his costume of blue overalls, red wig, and a lazy attempt at stitches on his face, you notice a creepy doll tucked in his arm.

“Yah, Ji Changmin!” You whine as you let yourself take a seat on his bed with your hand clutching your chest.

He only laughs as he parades his doll around. “You’re still such a scaredy cat.”

You frown and say, “You’re so mean! You know how much I hate stuff like this!”

Both Chanhee and Sunwoo quickly enter the room to see the mess Changmin has created. “Yah, you know Y/N hates this more than me and Sunwoo,” Chanhee says as he shakes his head.

“When did you even get that doll?”

“First off, his name is Chucky. And I got him a few days ago! I’m so glad he arrived on time,” Changmin answers Sunwoo’s question and plays with his doll once more.

Chanhee sighs and grabs your hand to pull you off the bed. “C’mon, it’s almost 10 PM. We should head to Eric’s place already.”

The perpetrator quickly links his free arm with yours and pouts. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was expecting to scare Sunwoo but you came in!”

“What do you mean you were trying to scare me?!”

Changmin scowls at Sunwoo and says, “This isn’t about you.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s fine. I guess you wanted to have your fun before you have to take care of our asses.” Once you see the confusion on Changmin’s face, you cannot help but smile.

“What do you mean I have to take care of you guys?”

Chanhee giggles and says, “That’s what we agreed on last time, remember? You take care of us while Sunwoo, Y/N, and I drink our hearts out.”

It takes Changmin a moment to recall the said conversation which happened a month ago. As soon as the memory hits him, he groans. “Really?”

You shrug, clearly happy with how the events are playing out. “Think of it as your way of saying sorry to me.” He only sighs, knowing he could not argue.

The four of you finally arrived at Eric’s place which was bustling with more people than expected. You could only guess that word about last year’s party got around. From what you could see, some people came in different costumes. In a sea of generic costumes such as nurses and firefighters, you were happy to spot cool costumes like Sanrio or video game characters.

“Well, I’m headed off to find Eric,” Sunwoo says.

“I’ll join you.” Chanhee says before he takes a look at you and Changmin. “Don’t forget, we leave at the latest 1 AM. Don’t separate, okay?”

As soon as you two nod, Sunwoo and Chanhee make a beeline toward wherever Eric may be. You cling to Changmin’s arm as he leads you two to the kitchen. What you do not expect to see is your editor and crush there.

Kevin was dressed up in a black and white leopard print and makeup which you could only guess as Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmatians. However, nothing could have prepared you for Jacob’s outfit. He wore a volleyball uniform and an orange wig with a volleyball by his hip. You have always been a big fan of Haikyuu, so to see Jacob dressed up as one of your favorite characters made your heart flutter.

“Oh, Kevin and Jacob hyung!” Changmin exclaims, which grabs their attention.

“Y/N and Changmin! It’s so nice to see you,” Kevin says with a smile on his face.

“Ah, Cruella de Vil and Hinata?”

“Yeah! Not a lot of people could figure out who I dressed up as. Everyone loves Jacob’s costume though,” he answers your best friend.

“You’re Howl, right? And Changmin is Chucky because of the doll.” Jacob asks which finally has you snap out of your trance.

Changmin smiles as he tries to show off his doll and answers, “Yeah! Do you like him?”

“He’s… something!” Kevin says which only makes you laugh.

“If it helps, I hate that doll.” In an attempt to agree with your editor, you earn a nudge from Changmin.

“Hey! He’s our kid,” he complains with a pout on his lips. You only ignore his comment and drag him to take a seat with you on the stools.

Since Jacob and Kevin were wrapped up in their conversation, you took this as an opportunity to quietly ask Changmin something. “You don’t want to hang out with your friends from the dance team?”

He shakes his head and says, “I’m fine here with you.” You let yourself smile at him before he could find a way for you two to squeeze into Jacob and Kevin’s conversation.

While the four of you talked over some drinks specially made by Jacob, you were pleasantly surprised to see Eric come in a baseball uniform. “Hey, guys!”

“Eric! It’s nice to see you,” You greet the party host.

“Why are you guys just here?” Eric quickly grabs a bottle of beer. “You don’t want to dance or play some party games?”

“We’ll probably join the crowd in a little bit,” Kevin says as he wraps his arm around Eric’s shoulder. “Also, coming in your baseball uniform? You’re so generic.”

“Hey! It was the only thing I had since I was busy organizing this party,” Eric attempts to defend himself.

Jacob chuckles and says, “Well, it’s a nice party.”

“Thank you!”

“Have you seen Sunwoo and Chanhee?” Changmin decides to ask the host.

“Oh, yeah! I saw them just a few minutes ago.” Eric chuckles. “Sunwoo’s busy trying to rizz up someone from the swimming team.”

Your face scrunches up in disgust as you lean your head on Changmin’s shoulder. “What about Chanhee?”

“I think he’s just with Hyunjae hyung.”

“Ah, I see,” you say with a smirk as your best friend and Kevin giggle.

It takes a few seconds before the dots connect in Jacob’s head. “Is something going on between Chanhee and Hyunjae?” He asks with a gasp. 

“Yeah! Haven’t you noticed that Hyunjae hyung is always with him?”

Jacob ponders over his best friend’s question for a moment. “Huh, that makes sense.”

“They’re actually so cute, but I actually don’t think anything is going to happen,” Eric says after he takes a sip of his beer.

Changmin hums and agrees, “Based on what I talked about with Chanhee, it looks like they’re just friends.”

“You don’t think it’ll turn into something more?” Kevin asks with a pout on his lips.

“It would get messy, don’t you think? Since your friend groups are slowly getting close.”

You sigh and answer Eric’s question with, “Honestly, whatever makes the two happy. I think they’ll manage to figure it out.”

“Feelings are weird.” Once Changmin says those words, you could only hum in agreement. You felt like you did not know enough to comment on whatever Chanhee and Hyunjae have going on. All that mattered to you is that your friends were happy and safe at all times.

“Hey, Changmin hyung!” Someone you could only recognize to be Lee Chan, Changmin’s teammate in the dance team, enters the kitchen with a cup in his hands. “Oh, hi Eric! Well, I just wanted to call my lovely friend to play some beer pong with us. You guys are free to join us!”

“Oh, I’ll join!” Eric quickly says before he makes his way out of the kitchen.

As you lift your head from Changmin’s shoulder, your best friend frowns at Chan. “Wait, I can’t drink that much. I’m taking care of Y/N and like… the others.”

You shake your head and nudge him. “It’s fine,” you reassure him.

He shakes his head firmly and says, “We have a buddy system, remember? Plus, I don’t want to ditch you.” 

“Then they can join us!” Chan attempts to convince him further. “If it helps, we’re playing with people outside of the dance team.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll probably just hang with those from the publication.” You smile at Chan and take a look at Changmin. “What if I just meet you two hours from now? We can meet here.” Changmin bites the inside of his cheek as he contemplates.

“Uhm, we’ll also stay with Y/N,” Jacob chimes in. As your head whips in his direction, you could see his signature smile. You would think that working with him for a few weeks would give you time to get used to his smile. And yet, you still found yourself melting at the view.

“Yeah!” You look back at your best friend. “I promise that I won’t drink too much without you.” It takes a moment before Changmin decides to give in to Chan’s request. Before he could stand up from his seat, you reach out for his doll. “Let me take care of our child.”

He cannot help but smile before he hands his Chucky doll to you. “I won’t forget you calling him that.” With that, he followed Chan out of the kitchen.

You sigh and hold the Chucky doll close to you, combing through its hair. “Do you know where News and Social Media are staying? Maybe we can stay with Seungkwan and Yeji?”

“I spotted them by the pool area. It’s actually in the same area Changmin is playing beer pong,” Kevin says, which has you standing up from your seat.

“Why don’t you guys go ahead? I’ll just meet you there,” you say as your eyes looked through the drinks.

And there comes Jacob with his sweet smile. “I’ll wait for you. Kevin, we can just meet you there.”

For a moment, you could notice Kevin snickering but he quickly covers it up by saying, “Sure.” As soon as he makes his way out of the kitchen, you give your crush a shy smile.

“Do you mind mixing me another drink?”

Jacob chuckles as he grabs the cup from you. “It’s fine, I don’t mind if it’s you.”

You do not know what to make of his comment, slightly blushing as he creates another great concoction. You decided to stand beside him and lean against the counter so that you could get a good look at whatever he was making you. In the cup, he poured two different liquors and cranberry juice.

“Can I… ask something?” He decides to ask you as he hands you back your cup.

You raise your eyebrows before you take a sip of the drink. “Oh, it’s good!” He smiles at your comment. “Yeah, of course! Ask whatever.”

Jacob takes a moment to think over his words. “I don’t really know how to ask it.”

You laugh and say, “Jacob, aren’t you a writer?”

“Yeah! But sometimes, words are weird.”

“Just say it to me straight. I think it would make it easier for us both,” you reassure him before you drink.

“Are you and Changmin dating?” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you choke on your drink.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” He quickly grabs some tissue and wipes your chin as you cough.

As you grab the tissue from his hand, you set down your cup on the counter. “S-sorry! I didn’t expect that.”

“That’s why I said I didn’t know how to phrase it right.” He pouts as you wave your hand at him to signal that it was alright.

“No, your question is fine!” You cough out before taking a deep breath. “Why would you think that?”

Jacob scratches the back of his neck and says, “I just thought so based on tonight’s event. I suspected something was going on between you two that one night I gave you guys a ride home. I was just thinking that tonight might have confirmed my suspicion.” You tilt your head over his words.

All throughout your friendship with Changmin, no one has ever thought of you two in a relationship. In every interaction and time spent with him, you have always thought it was normal. Sure, you do acknowledge that you spend more time with him than you do with Sunwoo and Chanhee, but it never meant that you two were together.

“We aren’t,” you start off with a smile. “We’re just very close, that’s all. I am very much single.”

Jacob nods with a relieved smile on his face. “Alright, that’s good to know.”

Before you could process his words, he spoke. “C’mon, let’s meet with the others.”

Over the hours, you have been half-focused on the conversation going on between your friends from the publication. Your mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that Jacob would think that way—you cannot even believe he seemed relieved to hear you are single.

While most of your group sat in a circle on foldable chairs, some had to stay standing up. Despite being deep in thought, you were somewhat hyperaware every time Jacob was looking at you from where he stood. Never did you ever expect the 5th-year student to show some interest towards you. 

That is why you never noticed someone grab your shoulder. You jump in your seat and take a look behind you to see Changmin with a concerned look on his face. “Hey, are you okay?” He whispers only for you to hear.

You nod and quickly get off your seat. “Hi, I’ll come back.” As soon as you bid farewell to the group, you grab Changmin’s arm and make your way to somewhere far from Jacob.

Once you two arrive at a relatively quiet corner of the backyard, you take a seat down by the porch. With a worried expression on his face, he takes a seat beside you and grabs the doll from you. 

“What’s up?”

You place your hands on the bottom half of your face and take a deep breath. “You would not believe what Jacob said to me.”

“You’re scaring me,” he says, which only makes you laugh as you shake your head.

“No, it’s just funny! But also, so many thoughts are being thunk right now.”

“Okay, what?” He asks with furrowed eyebrows. Clearly, the suspense was starting to kill him.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “He just asked if I was single!” The way Changmin’s eyebrows shoot up is a sight you could only laugh at.

“Are you serious?” He asks, shocked by your news.

“I know!” You squeal as you smack his arm. “Well, he did ask if you and I were dating–”

“He asked WHAT?!” Your best friend shouts which attracts some looks.

You smack his arm and give an apologetic smile to those who looked over at you two. Once you look back at him, you could see the expression on his face—something you could describe as shock and disgust mixed together. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he moves slightly away, you could tell he was taken aback by what you revealed.

“Oh, yeah! It was so weird.” You shake your head before you take a peek at where your friends were (thankfully, Jacob was preoccupied with whatever conversation was going on). You look back at Changmin and say, “I remember even choking on my drink just because he asked. But anyway, that’s beside the point–”

“Why would he think that?”

You roll your eyes as your best friend continues to cut you off. “Honestly, I don’t really know. I mean, he explained but it didn’t make sense.” He looks you up and down with a frown on his face.

“Hey! It can’t be that bad to date me!” You exclaim as you smack his arm once more.

“I’m just thinking that it would be weird for us to date!”

You roll your eyes and say, “Obviously. It’s even weirder to think I had a crush on Sunwoo then.” Before Changmin could say more, you say, “Jacob just thought so with how close we are, but I made it perfectly clear that I am single. And here’s the kicker.”

Your best friend only signals you to continue with what you are saying. “He said he was glad to know that,” you finally say as you smack his arm, earning a groan from him.

“Can you stop smacking me?”

You ignore his request as you remember the events. “I’ve never had a crush actually show some type of interest towards me. It’s so surreal.” You let yourself lean back on your hands so that you could look up at the sky.

With your eyes looking up to the starry night, you smile as you let out a happy sigh. Despite being in your second year of college, you never really had that much experience with romance aside from occasional one-sided crushes (whether with you as the apple of someone’s eye or the idea of someone plaguing your mind). That is why when Jacob shares such words, you cannot help but feel so much warmth spread throughout your body.

“I’m glad, though.” You look at your best friend who has a small smile on his face. “I’m glad that what you have is going somewhere,” he says which only makes you grin.

It is during these moments that you remember how long you and Changmin have been friends. From achievements to heartbreaks, you both have been there for each other to witness it all. In the greatest and lowest moments, the two of you always found solace in each other.

Changmin looked at himself in the mirror—all dressed up in black (from blazer to trousers) with a pair of sunglasses and chains to accessorize his whole look. He took a deep breath as he spun around.

The day of the competition has finally come. The team spent many weeks practicing the same routine in hopes to secure that trophy. After all the late nights and injuries he had to endure, he could not believe that he was to participate in his final competition.

Since he figured out to walk all on his own, dance came to him naturally like breathing comes instinctively for all. His love for dance has only grown with him throughout the years. For Changmin, there was never a possible reality where he does not fall in love with dance. Yet, with graduation dawning, it seemed like he would have to entertain that idea whether he liked it or not.

With him being deep in thought, he does not hear you enter the room. “Woah!” He snaps out of his trance once you whistle while taking in his appearance. “You look good!”

He cannot hold his smile. “Thanks. I realized this is your first time seeing me in my outfit.” He makes his way back to his bed and takes a seat.

“Yeah! You never sent me the pictures,” you say with a pout. “But I’m kind of glad. I was shocked to see how nice you looked.”

“Are you saying I don’t look good all the time?”

You frown at your best friend. “Of course, you don’t, weirdo.” Changmin could only roll his eyes while you set your small sling bag beside him.

“Thank you for offering to do my makeup,” he says as you start to take out your small cosmetics bag full of essentials for his look.

“Don’t even worry about it. I mean, I have always wanted to do your makeup before.” You adjust the position of his floor lamp to make sure it was facing him. “Sunwoo cannot stay still when I put makeup on him.”

Changmin chuckles as he looks at you retrieve different tubes. “Thankfully, I have some extra concealer that should suit your skin tone,” you mutter as you squeeze out some product onto the back of your hand.

“Anyway, how are you?” You rest your right knee on the bed as your fingers start to do the work. “Are you still nervous?”

He hums for a moment. “I am, but I’m trying to focus on just leaving the competition on a good note.”

You nod as you cover up any dark spots and circles. “That’s good. How’s your thesis going so far?” As soon as you ask that, he groans.

“Don’t even remind me.”

You cannot help but giggle as you blend out the product. “Isn’t your thesis adviser Ms. Lee? I heard she’s good.” You look through your bag and reach out for your eyeshadow palette full of neutral colors and its proper brush.

“She’s great, really. It’s just that I may have underestimated the difficulty of my chosen topic.” He sighs as he watches you open up the palette. “I hope she knocked some sense into me.”

“Or, she just had faith in you,” you point out as you pick up some light brown eyeshadow with your brush. “You’re very smart, you know? I’m pretty sure she just wants you to get some recognition for your thesis.”

He only huffs as you carefully color his eyelids. Once you were done, you set the tools aside and grabbed an eyelash curler for him to use. As you hand the contraption to him, he frowns.

“Do you really trust me with that?”

“Yeah because I don’t know how to use it.”

“I think you’d be more scared if I was the one doing it on you,” you try to reason only for him to hand it back to you.

“Just do it.”

You groan and place the curler right on his eyelashes. “Don’t move, okay? I’m scared to rip your eyelashes out.”

“W-wait!” Changmin pushes your hand away with a frown on his face. “You can’t just say that. Now, I’m scared!”

You sigh as you rest your free hand on your hip and say, “Well, what do you want? I’m letting you do it.” He sighs for a moment before signaling you to continue. “Exactly.” You proceed with what you need to do.

“And… there!” You smile as you set the contraption aside. “That wasn’t too bad. Now, I need to do your mascara.”

You open the tube and take out the wand. “I need to sit down for this, okay?” As soon as you ask, he nods.

“Yeah, that’s no prob–wait!” He cuts himself off as you suddenly lift your other leg to rest on the bed as well.

Now, your knees were practically caging Changmin. As he takes a look down, he could see your legs pressing on the outer side of his thighs. For a moment, he cannot breathe.

This felt different. In this position, he felt his mind buzzing. Sure, he has always found himself linking arms with you or even snuggling up your side. But to see you straddling him only had him at your mercy. 

Once you took a seat on his lap, he could feel himself getting dizzy. To feel your heat on his lap made him feel like he was back in high school—he could hear his heartbeat ring in his ears. There was barely any distance between you two as your face slowly got closer to his. Changmin could only hope you do not notice how red his ears are.

“Hey,” you whisper as you look into his eyes, taking a small peek down at his lips for a brief second. “Just relax, I don’t want to poke your eyes in the process.” He could feel your breath cast over his lips as you set your free hand on his shoulder.

First coat. His eyes were focused on your lips.

Second coat. You lick your lips as you focus on trying to not ruin your work.

Third coat. Changmin tries to swallow his anxiety down

Fourth coat. You let your eyes trail back down to his lips.

Fifth coat. He finds himself moving his face closer to yours, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

And something possesses him—his hands find themselves on your hips to hold you steady in place. Your breath hitches at the action, and you finally notice how close his face is to yours.

“Changmin,” you whisper his name so sweet. For him, it felt like he has never heard you say his name so gently.

“Say no and I won’t,” he finds himself saying as he lets himself finally look up into your eyes.

And before he could get a reply, he found his eyes opening to the white ceiling. Covered in sweat, he feels himself breathe heavily at his dream. There was no other way to say this—he was utterly fucked.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph, you wonderful person!! Thank you so much for all the work you put into your blog. It’s such an amazing resource for the fandom! I was wondering if you knew any fics where either John or Sherlock are super!BAMF specifically under the circumstances when the other is threatened. I’d love to read some kind of scenario where one of them is threatened and the other says something along the lines of “if you touch one hair on his head...” Thank you for any suggestions on this theme!

Hi Nonny!

AHHHH I love those kinds of fics! I think I classify those ones under “Protective Johnlock” so it’s sort of… shoved into those ones? LOL. I’ve recently posted a Protective Sherlock list, so you can check out that one, and see these others below! I know I have a tonne more but I am still sorting through all my fics, LOL. So I hope what I have sorted for you, hope that these are what you’re looking for!!

PROTECTIVE JOHNLOCK (BOTH)

See also: 

Protective Sherlock

BAMF! But Insecure John

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

29 January 2017 by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E, 1,765 w. || Anniversary, First Time, Insecure Sherlock, Love Confessions, Post-S4) – “That,” John says, “should have happened years ago. Maybe even the first time.”

Loudly Unspoken by Mount_Seleya (M, 1,871 w. || Post-TAB, Love Confessions, Vulnerable Sherlock, Frottage) – John confronts Sherlock about the words he left unsaid on the tarmac. Set immediately after TAB

The Rational Machine by Solstice Zero (K, 2,924 w. || Hurt / Comfort, Malnourishment / Fainting, Doctor / Minder John) – Sherlock passes out. John muses on the reasons why. Containing an absorbing case, two bags of shopping, and a few apples.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn’t trust the evidence in front of him, until there’s a compelling reason to do so.

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John’s conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Unforgiven by 221b_hound (M, 4,721 w. || Marriage Proposal, Victor Trevor, Jealous / Protective John, Jealous Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past) – Sherlock’s latest case is for his ex boyfriend, the brilliant and handsome Professor Victor Trevor. John is not too happy about that. But things aren’t what they seem, an old friend of John’s is involved in the case, and John has a few surprises up his sleeve. Also - a proposal! Part 16 of Unkissed

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year’s Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing. You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year’s Kiss

And Here We Are by J_Baillier (T, 12,416 w. || ASiP Fic, Alternating First Person POV, Drama, Friendship, Mild Case Fic, Autism Spectrum Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Protective John, Pining, Homophobia, Loneliness, Angst, Humour, Domestics, Morbid Fluff, Kidnapping) – All the little things we never got to see when an army doctor and a consulting detective were adjusting to sharing a flat. And a life.

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn’t count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl (E, 15,590 w. || Victorian AU, Virgin / Demi Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Mild H/C, Bottomlock) – Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case … and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship’s surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there’s more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin’ the eye, he has to choose… is it a pirate’s life for him?

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,168 w. across 46 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

[not-that-good-at-breathing-in]

~ ~ b r a v e n e w w o r l d ~ ~  ((dispassionate contentment))

I shall divide my thoughts on this book into four main categories: “I didn’t like it”, “is it actually a utopia?”, “Eugenics” and “oh god hyperconsumerism”. I will be informal, tangential, judgemental, but hopefully entirely factual. 

I didn’t like it

The first 100 pages feel completely separate from the rest and are just the most blatant exposition loosely framed in the device of “they were on a tour”. I think there are more engaging ways to start a novel. For example: it can start by introducing the main character as well as the world by having it be about his specific experience, or you can start with a shorter, even dryer text that would be in an in-world pamphlet or something. This way the audience can immediately be immersed in the world and figure things out for themselves, reading outright state propaganda as something unquestionable. But, obviously it isn’t like the book is going to be edited to my preferences after all these years and I don't think mr. Huxley will do anything with the advice either, since he died of laryngeal cancer in 1963.

I also didn’t think any of the characters were sympathetic, either because the pov clearly looked down on them as was with the people who strongly identified with their communities (mostly the mother and Bernard's girlfriend). And the people that were supposed to be taken seriously (i think) were these intellectual men who thought themselves outsiders who could objectively judge the world around them and decide what’s best for everyone (Bernard, John, Galaxy Brian). This is not a type of person I am particularly fond of in the real world and that dislike also extends to the brave new world.

At first, I thought the main character (Bernard) would change and become more chill at some point, but no. He had social anxiety throughout and his coping mechanism was arrogance. I also liked John before he decided to use his life and position to be a raving lunatic by the woods - an understandable, attractive life path, but the implications of it are hopeless. Are you saying the answer to living in a horrifying, dystopian hellscape is to be a thespian recluse, Aldous? Is that really the most productive course of action, Al?

Is it actually a utopia?

As opposed to most “future: bad”-science fiction, most people in the world of Brave New World see their society as a utopia. Only the ragtag gang of angsty male protagonists think of it as being dystopian, which the figures of authority view as a fault of the system. If they have any negative opinion of their society, then clearly the system  of indoctrination has failed them. If only society were more tightly controlled, then it really would be a utopia. But we as the audience of course don’t see it as a utopia at all. The industrialization of human bodies makes that everybody only exists for the sake of the Economy. There are no individuals, only society as a whole, serving itself.

But if the average happiness of a member of a society is not the factor by which we determine how desirable a society is, then what is? 

Diversity? Brave New World has a diverse range of citizens, though they do look the same for the most part, because they exist in large groups of twins. The different groups are bred to be in different social classes and they are discouraged from identifying with each other. So maybe diversity among social groups is important...

Technological progress? If I remember correctly, Brave New World puts a lot of resources into the advancement of science and technology. 

Freedom? The big dystopian science fiction thing that Brave New World gleefully indulges in is *ominous music* TOTALITARIAN GOVERNMENT. In this world, you lose any ability to choose for yourself as you are being produced. Your moral framework, your priorities, your aesthetic taste are decided during your infancy. You do not learn about things you are curious about, but only the things the factory prescribes. Any decision you make after you leave the factory is so heavily decided by the way you’ve been programmed, that it can't be of your own free will however much you think it is. As Huxley himself said: “A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which [leaders] control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.”

So, is the purpose of humanity freedom? Idk sure.

Eugenics

Lets start this off by saying that Aldous Huxley was a eugenicist. Here’s a few quotes to support this claim: 

“About 99,5% of the entire population of the planet are as stupid and philistine … as the great masses of the English. The important thing, it seems to me, is not to attack the 99,5% ... but to try to see that the 0,5% survives, keeps it’s quality up to the highest possible level, and, if possible, dominates the rest. The imbecility of the 99,5% is appalling - but after all what else can you expect?” - in a letter to J. Glyn Roberts in 1933

“Birth control depends on the co-operation of an entire people. It must be practiced by countless individuals, from whom it demands more intelligence and will power than most of the world's teeming illiterates possess, and (where chemical or mechanical methods of contraception are used) an expenditure of more money than most of these millions can now afford.” - excerpt from Brave New World Revisited in 1958, in a chapter all about how overpopulation is destroying average living conditions. The looming threat of overpopulation is one of the biggest arguments used in favour of eugenic policies, while the most of the problems attributed to overpopulation are actually symptoms of late stage capitalism… am I getting off topic? Anyway, Aldous had shit politics.

I think the premise of the book is largely about taking the best case scenario of full blown population control to its logical conclusion. “Best case scenario” means that he’s leaving the bigotry and enthnic cleansing out of it (yay?). So, the best case scenario is one in which humans have played god so much that individuality is no longer a thing and neither is passion. Because children are no longer created through copulation, people are discouraged from forming long lasting pair bonds. This form of eugenics eradicates the tedious variable of ♥love♥. 

Consumerism

And even with everyone being conditioned to be content all the time, they still need to B U Y  S T U F F. So, as a means of further pacifying the people, trinkets, sports and spiritual practices are offered as commodities (this doesn’t sound familiar at all). People are not supposed to use things for long amounts of time, so nothing is made to be durable and people are encouraged to use anything once before throwing it away (again, not familiar at all).

The main thing that stuck in my mind after reading this book is that children are conditioned not to enjoy nature. The baby factory puts a lot of effort in overriding our natural instinct of thinking flowers are pretty, because they aren’t profitable enough. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it being in capitalism's favour to distance people from nature as much as possible. This goes along with the fact that it's in capitalism's favour not to think of people as organic beings who are part of a larger ecosystem, because that would mean in hurting nature we also hurt ourselves.

Honestly, the consumerism aspect of this book is too real and I get a bit too despondent thinking about it for a long amount of time. Like, we live in a society where all of our base needs/desires are targeted with advertising for unfulfilling and addictive products to turn a profit for one of, like a few people who also happen to own every flat on kalverstraat and who don’t give a shit the people they’re mooching off of.

[markwrecksmysoul]

Wake him up- yoongi scenario

Warning- mild curse words. Enjoy!

Y/n pov

"Yah! The foods here!" Namjoon brought in the 5 bags of side dishes and main rice dishes and of course the bulgoi and knife noodle soup. You looked over at yoongis closed door.

someone should wake him up so he can eat he doesnt eat much because of his century long naps, but he needs his strength. You and the boys know that Yoongi was not to be messed with when he was having his sacred nap.

You sighed and walked over to his door. "Yah! Y/n! Do you have a death wish!" You turned around to see the rest of your weird guy friends waving their arms for you to come back and whisper yelling. You walked back over. "We never wake that monster up!"

"He needs to wake up so he can eat or else he won't have enough strength for the photoshoot later tonight." Namjoon grinned at you. "Wow y/n You sure seem to care alot for yoongi". You frowned trying not to sound too obvious.

"Its not like that! I care about all you idiots equally." Jungkook scoffed. "When I fell face first off the swing You laughed and recorded it." You laughed remembering that day. "Haha yeah that was funny". Namjoon shook his head. "And when yoongi hit his hip on the corner of the table yesterday you acted like he had a terminal illness!"

You tried to defend yourself. "W-well he has fragile bones! Now if you idiots will stop making assumptions and eat your darn food while I go wake up yoongi!" You walked into yoongis room closing the door behind yourself.

Yoongi was there sleeping soundly on his back. You got down on the ground So your squeaky sneakers wouldn't wake him and quietly crawled towards his side. He looked so pretty sleeping. You sat on your heels and reached a hand out to poke his face.

He waved a hand over his face groaning. You poked his face again. Yoongi growled with his still closed. "Whoever's poking my face stop unless you want to die." You sighed and did it again. "Wake up yoongi".

Yoongi opened his eyes and glared at you. Suddenly he shot up grabbed your waist and rolled you onto your back in one motion. Your eyes widened seeing him hover over you. "yoongi-". He leaned down closer to your face. Examining your big curly hair.

"What is the meaning of this invasion of my nap time." You sighed when he let your wrist go. "Yah no need to get crabby with me get up! you need to eat or you won't have any energy for the photo shoot later."  Yoongi sighed. "Right the photo shoot." yoongi still hovered over you and him being this close made your nerves go crazy.

It's true you like him but It's obvious to everyone BUT him. Its infuriating, "you wanna get off me now?" You said wiggling. "Hmm I don't know I kind of like seeing you in this position." blood rushed to your face. Yoongi put his hand on your cheeks. "Ha you're blushing." You smacked his chest.

"Shut up I'm not blushing I just uh..... got a fever". Yoongi wasnt buying it. But he got up reaching out a hand and helping you up. "Ah it's a good thing you woke me though, I'm hungry!"You both emerged from the room and the boys eyes widened.

"Y/n! You're still alive?" You rolled your eyes. "Yah I wouldn't kill her just for waking me up!" You rose your brow. "Five minutes ago you threatened to kill me for poking your face. " he scoffed. "Well duh that was annoying." You grinned and started poking his face repetedly. "Oh you mean like this?"

"Yes I mean like that stop". You didn't stop and just poked his face some more Yoongi finally grabbed your wrist to stop you. You looked into yoongis eyes trying to figure him out. "YAH romeo and Juliet quit eye raping each other and come eat!" You glared at Namjoon who was grinning his little stupid devil grin.

You both walked over and sat next to each other but you reached over and pinched namjoons thigh under the table. "Ah!" He jumped jin pain his knees hitting the table. "What's wrong namjoon?" you smiled at him. "Yeah what wrong nammie?" all the while you didn't notice yoongis reaction to your little name for Namjoon.

Namjoon glared at you. "Nothing I'm fine." the boys went back to eating and Namjoon mouthed to you.

(I'm gonna kill you) You went on eating, while Yoongi glared at his bowl shoving food into his mouth.

V noticed yoongis mood change and spoke. "Yah Yoongi are you really that tired? jeez lighten up!" Yoongi stabbed his rice with his chop sticks before dropping them and getting up leaving to his bedroom with the rest of the room staring at him. "Wow what's his deal? It's just food!" Jungkook said as he shoved more soup down his throat.

You dropped your chopsticks and pushed out your chair. "I'm gonna go check on him". You ignored the boys grins and walked into yoongis room closing the door again. He had his back facing you. "Yoongi?" You stepped a little closer. "Get lost". You glared at his lazy form. "Jeez no need to be rude!"

You pulled on his shoulder making him roll into his back. "Tch whatever." You frowned. You thought of what you used to do to get your ex jay park to talk to you when he was mad. Maybe it'll work with Yoongi. You just said f*ck it and threw your knee over his side, so you were sitting on top of him.

Yoongi eyes widened."y-yah what are you doing?!?" You leaned down and stared at his eyes. "What got you mad?" Yoongi looked at your (body type) form on his lap and started feeling a little nervous hopefully you wouldn't move and making things worse.

But of course with your innocent mind you had no idea that this was turning him on, so you wiggled your hips to get his attention. "C'mon tell me!" Yoongi made a disgruntled sound. Your eyes widened. "Oh crap did I accidentally hurt you?" You leaned down closer so your face was close to his.

"Are you ok Yoongi?" Yoongi found his voice. "U-uh yeah". You sat back up on him creating some friction. "F*ck it....". You gave him a look. "Wha-mmph!" Yoongi the king of surprises sat up and grabbed your face and kissed you, rolling himself on top of you.

You couldn't believe it your crush was actually kissing you this never happens! Am I dreaming? You let a small gasp pass through your lips it gave Yoongi the opportunity to shove his tongue in your mouth. Ok definitely not dreaming....Ok so not a dream now would be a great time actually enjoy the moment.

You grabbed a handful of his hair And kissed him harder. He groaned so you assumed he enjoyied his hair being pulled. You weren't planning on stopping anything but suddenly yoongi stopped the kiss and pulled back taking a breather he looked amazing with his hair messed up from you tugging at it and his swollen red lips.

"I really like you y/n". You smiled and grabbed him by his shirt pulling him back down. "I really like you too". You leaned in kissing him aggressively again.

Namjoons pov

"Sshhh! I cant hear what they're saying!" I pressed my ear to the door hearing lip smacking sounds obviously they were kissing. "I like you y/n". I gasped and tried to contain my excitement so they wouldn't hear us. "I like you too". *More kissing* continued and I squealed. "My otp is happening!" the boys all jumped up cheers. Until the door opened and yoongi stood there looking ruffled with his hair sticking in different directions and y/n behind him with swollen lips and her curly hair looking messier than normal.

"Will you guys stop snooping on us don't you have something better to do?" I shook my head. "Nope but my otp is happening!"

"Whatever weirdos" yoongi closed his door and I'm assuming got back down to buisness. "They're gonna make cute little babies together!".

Masterlist

[izzyovercoffee]

I've been a fan of the Republic Commando series for a long time now, but just recently I realized what an asshole Kal really is. As well as problems with how Etain's pregnancy is handled. I still want to enjoy the books but these facts really disappoint me. Any suggestions?

Well … yes and no. I’ve been through this, and I have a few suggestions, but I feel like… it’s dependent entirely on what you want out of Republic Commando and/or what you need out of it.  Just like any other piece of media, there will always be bad (sometimes horrible) parts alongside the good. Focus on the good parts of the series while recognizing the bad parts that are still there. 

I guess I’m going to come at this from a specifically personal point of view, because I’ve had the ups and downs with regards to Republic Commando quite a few times. 

You, of course, don’t have to take any of my advice whatsoever, of course, and you’re not obligated to create content either.

What worked for me was four things:

picking a specific character (or characters) to focus my attention on, and lots and lots of meta

fanfic, headcanons, drabbles, art of the characters

creating OCs either based on or inspired by RepComm (new RC squads, developing Death Watch Cuy’val Dar, creating OC Cuy’val Dar, creating pilots, etc etc etc) 

deconstructing the literature, starting with Kal and moving on from there

aaand I’m putting a cut bc I just realized how long this is lmao

Pick a character you really like, and go through the times they’re mentioned in the books. For me … I really grew attached to Mereel, and I’ve done … a lot, a lot of meta, not least of which was the accelerated aging cure I posted the other day. I wouldn’t have been able to finish it if I didn’t focus on Mereel. I also wouldn’t have really come to understand his character if I never up and decided one day to pay extra attention to the mirsheb. 

Try writing drabbles, if that’s something you like to do, or come up with headcanons, or little snapshots of moments they might have with other characters. Fill up the gaps, because there are a lot of gaps, for all of them. Share your thoughts with other fans, or friends, or me! I’m always excited to talk about RepComm, honestly. I hope my salt about Kal is not too … off-putting? I do gush a lot about the other characters, too, just not as often lately. (I have to fix this. I will fix this.)

Create AUs. Make fix-it scenarios — pieces of the narratives that you don’t like, or that just don’t fit, and come up with ways to make them so. AUs I’m a fan of, too, because it gives us different environments in which to exercise ways to recreate our favorite characters. In this new setting, what could possibly be the reasons that x character is still x way? why? how do they get reacquainted with the rest of them? That sort of thing.

Or from there, start creating OCs. There’s at least 100 Cuy’val Dar, not including trainers for other parts of the Grand Army of the Republic, outside of Special Operations. 10,000 Republic Commandos, and each squad of 4 is different from the others.

There’s also quite a bit of mandalorian cultural worldbuilding packed into these novels, so long as you’re also able to unlace Kal’s heavy-handed misogyny and cissexist heterocentric bias. It’s been fun trying to figure out how mandalorian enclaves (Little Mandalores) might look on city planets, for one example.

When the series gets something right, it gets them really right. And it’s important to recognize how … well, good, and right, the things it does get right actually are — and this goes for most every piece of media out there. In this one, it’s the intense loyalty and sense of found family that really drew me in. The relationships between the commandos, the relationships between everyone (that isn’t Kal) … the potential for hijinks and the really intensely emotional moments across both platonic and romantic lines is really, really high between everyone, and it’s actually really easy to miss the first go around because how focused the narrative is on Kal, specifically … which is weird, given that these stories should be more focused on the clones and not him.

Everything seems to revolve around him, and you kind of forget about the other characters, or that they have relationships, interactions, conversations with the others beyond Kal’s gaze.

And the last thing is to tackle that disappointment head on. Part of the reason why myself, and others, are so adamant about being vocal of Kal’s abuse is because this type of abuse (emotional, mental, psychological) is often invisible, or outright ignored/forgiven by people in real life — not just in fandom. It’s especially concerning when all the things that Kal does are all surprisingly textbook abuse, but learning about the intricacies of how and why, and learning how to really pick apart abuse as committed by someone as beloved as Kal … well, learning to identify these things does extend to learning to identify them in real life, and in fighting them — or in, at the very least, supporting those affected by abuse.

I mean, it does not by any means make one an expert (though I do recommend, say, picking up books about abuse, like Why Does He DO That and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, just for references and personal knowledge), but again — learning how to break these things down and identify them in a relatively safe capacity (literature) really helps to put things into perspective that would otherwise be incredibly hard to do because of how rarely we get the opportunity to see someone actually emotionally abusive in action.

Or how difficult it is to realize that abuse is happening when you’re under its direct influence. 

Some people might laugh or scoff, but Republic Commando as a series is really an excellent example of how insidious and damaging emotional abuse committed by a parental figure can really be — and how easily we, as people, are willing to overlook abuse or outright forgive it because we want to like the abuser, or because we personally understand his reasoning in spite of the harm he’s committing. 

I was actually going to go through the books and ignore all of Kal’s POVs, just to see how that changes the narration. Not because I dislike Kal so much as I recently noticed that Kal actively erases entire characters from his narrative that isn’t done in other chapters by other character POVs (most notably Mereel and his work towards the cure, but I’m sure this happens w/ other characters too). If a character, and it doesn’t matter how close to them they are, doesn’t fit exactly as how he defines they are or should be … he actually erases their achievements or outright ignores their contributions and qualities. 

And when I realized he does that, I was like what !! Because after all this time, going through the novels like I’ve done for meta, and I never noticed this before. And it’s upsetting, yes — but it’s also interesting. It’s fascinating to really take apart the narrative and try to really get inside characters’ heads and understand them.

Or, well, I find a lot of enjoyment out of doing that.

Of course, your mileage may vary, and you might not find my advice helpful … and that’s totally okay! This kind of thing is not enjoyable to everyone. Ultimately, once you get to this point, to get enjoyment out of RepComm (or any media, really, but I digress) you sometimes have to acknowledge that it will have bad parts — most things inevitably do, and few things are ever perfect. How you deal with those bad parts determines how you enjoy the work — but also, don’t forget to focus on the good parts, too, because there are good parts … it just sometimes takes more work to find them again once the realization of the bad hits. 

And if you’re totally put off from the work, even after all this, then that’s totally okay, too. It’s entirely understandable, entirely reasonable, and I would never fault you for that. I’ve known quite a few people who hit that realization, put the books down, and never picked them back up — and, again, that’s totally okay. Disappointing, yes, but like … that’s also life, sometimes. Things that you liked when you were younger, when you come back to them … they’re not what you remembered — or you notice things that make you balk you hadn’t noticed before. It happens. 

Oh, and also — take breaks. Lots of breaks. Take RepComm in small chunks, so that you don’t get overwhelmed if you’re the type that can or could (I am, sometimes). And, like I said before, drag some friends into it if you want, or drag me into it, if you’d like. I try to be as available as possible, even if I’ve been busy lately. It’s always nice to bounce ideas off another person, even if it’s just liveblogging or whathaveyou.

[patohastoomanyocs]

The Field Trip - Part Three, Doors

Before I start, a quick explanation, and a disclaimer–This is a story I began around a year and a half ago, so it starts out with not my best writing. Additionally, I may go back and edit/take this down because it’s no longer relevant, or change the part/chapter format. For now, rather than every PoV change, I’ll just end the part when I feel like it fits. These characters ALL belong to me, as do the scenario, and if anyone wishes to use them, they need to ask me. Any similarities to other characters, situations, people, etc., real or fictional, are coincidental, and unintended.

WARNING: Violence, swearing

Part One

Mika readied herself for a fight, when a figure suddenly leapt out at her from the darkness. She squeaked, hitting it in the head with her ruler. The shadowy figure shrieked, rubbing its head and muttering swear words as another shadowy figure slapped her. “Mika, what the hell?!” It hissed.

Mika squinted into the darkness as Adrien inwardly groaned at her stupidity. “Misaki?”

“Yes, Mika.”

“And did you really have to hit me with that ruler? It hurt!” Miyoko whined.

“Don't worry, we’ll figure out something before you die from such a serious injury,” Misaki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“Hey! I—” Miyoko started, before being interrupted by Mika.

“Ohmygosh, really? I'm so so so so so so super extremely very sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, I just thought you might be dangerous, like the thing we found earlier when—” Adrien slapped his hand over the easily excited girl’s mouth.

Misaki raised an eyebrow. “What dangerous thing did you find earlier?”

Adrien sighed. “I'm only telling you so that you don't fall for it.. There's a hallway near here—If you turn the other direction in that entryway—and it's really long. It's filled with exhibits on things like mummies, and it's weird.. It was empty, but it looked like someone was just there.. Anyway, we heard voices, so we ran for the end of the hallway. If you get there, there's some stairs, and you come out of a door with carvings on the door. They look like.. The most disturbing zoo ever. In the cages are grotesque monstrous creatures, and a mummy.. They're all shown in the middle of killing people.” Adrien paused in his explanation, hand still over Mika’s mouth.

“Go on!” Miyoko urged him.

“Anyway, there were a couple other doors. They all had images of disturbing and terrifying images carved into them, except for one. And they all had the same plain gray doorknob, except for one.. And not the same one as the one with a carving that wasn't of a horrible event or danger.”

As Miss Haruna and the tour guide continued on ahead, they began to hear very distant, very faint screams of fear. They looked at each other, eyes wide with horror, before breaking into a run. They reached the end of the hallway, and came out of the zoo door.

“... Shit.” Miss Haruna swore as she looked at the other ones. By her count, there were thirteen, total.

The one that the screams seemed to be coming from was a deep mahogany colored wood. Not bothering to look at the carving on the door, she began struggling to open it. As this happened, one of the screams turned from terror to pain, before abruptly being cut off altogether. The other became more desperate, before turning to sobs.

Miss Haruna wrenched the knob off of the door accidentally, and began bashing the wood with the useless chunk of golden metal.

Mika finally got Adrien’s hand off of her mouth. “Other than the one we came through to get in here, which had the night sky on it.. The carvings on the doors were super creepy! There was one for each of the things in the zoo.. Like the dragon, the boar, the griffin, and.. The.. The mummy..” Her face saddened, every trace of happiness disappearing from her expression. “.. The mummy was on the door with the different doorknob.. It was bright gold. The carving on the door had, at one point, been colored.. It showed two explorers that had broken into a mummy's tomb, and opened its sarcophagus.. It was killing the explorers with, basically, the mummification process.. Then, we ran through the night sky door when it suddenly.. We started hearing.....” She trails off, shaking a bit, and looking like she was about to burst into tears.

Adrien hugged her as he continued the story. “.. We heard screams of pain and fear from the room, like someone was being murdered in there.. And.. It.. It sounded like.. It sounded like Rae.” Miyoko and Misaki both froze.

“Wh-Wh-Wh—But—Sh-She can't.. I..." Miyoko tried to speak.

“.. I'm sorry.. If there's something we could had done, we would have tried to save her, but.. It's probably too late now.”

Miyoko began to sniffle, as her shock turned to grief, she sobbed, being held by Misaki, who was also crying.

“.. I.. I w-w-won't give up on.. S-Saving her.. Sh-She's okay.. She h-has to be.. She's o-okay..” Miyoko muttered to herself.

“I'm sure she is..” Misaki felt a twinge of guilt at lying to her girlfriend, but knew it was for the best.

Miyoko took a deep breath, and, after doing her best to calm herself, she managed to speak again. “.. W-We... We need t-to rescue her.” Everyone looked at her with wide eyes, not sure if they should listen to her, seeing as, in her panicked and upset state, she probably wasn’t the most rational. “.. Stop looking at me like I’m.. crazy.. Even if.. If it’s.. I-If..” She paused, struggling to hold back the tears which began to roll down her face again as she continued, in a shakier, quieter voice, that slowly returned to being steady and louder, “.. Even if it’s t-too late for Rae...... We can s-still save everyone else who’s in danger.. But.. It might mean sacrificing ourselves.”

The others were silent for a few moments, before Misaki finally spoke. “.. I’d help stop.. Whatever hurt her, even if it cost my own life.. If it meant that everyone else would make it out of here.”

Mika started to agree, but was interrupted by Adrien. “We should just gather everyone up, and focus on getting out of the museum without anyone else being hurt... We’ll lose more people if they try to be heroes.”

Meanwhile, Mila, Raina, Hiroshi, and Asuka had moved on to exploring the storage area. They found their way into the halls where everyone else seemed to have wound up, where they ran into the perfect little teacher’s pet, Aki.

“Hello?” She called out into the semi-darkness, “Is anyone there?”

Raina smirked as she picked up Aki’s glasses, which she noticed had fallen to the ground. She glanced back at the others, wordlessly saying that they should scare her. Mila and Asuka grinned, though Hiroshi seemed more than a bit skeptical. As soon as Raina set down the glasses, the three girls snuck up behind Aki, and after picking them up, Hiroshi rushed away, hoping to avoid the blame for this. He planned on apologizing as soon as possible, and keeping her glasses safe until then.

When he was nearing some stairs at the back of the exhibit storage room, he heard Raina, Mila, and Asuka all let out a loud yell, and Aki’s startled shriek. However, he became confused when he heard a sound almost like a roar, and terrified screams coming from the three girls who were always the tormentors. He froze, before his instincts kicked in, and he broke out into a run, racing up the stairs, and reaching a landing.

Part Four

[brandon-hoare-blog]

STORY BIBLE

Brandon Hoare 301 269 362

Premise and Purpose: The goal of this project is to create an immersive interactive novel that will keep the user engaged and entertained for several hours. This will be accomplished by creating a story where the user finds themselves wrongly accused and imprisoned for life. The user will have to battle their own inner turmoil and decide whether they want to just give up on life or if they want to keep living and break out of the prison.

Medium, Platform, Genre: This story will be created digitally using Inklewriter (an interactive novel creation website application). It will be accessible via computer or smartphone. As for genre, it will be a: drama, comedy, action, thriller

Intended Audience and Market: The main audience for this project will be adults. No age range specifically, any adult who is into the genres listed above has potential to engage with and deeply enjoy the story I am creating. This is because I want to put the user in the story as much as possible, to make them feel like they are the one who has been imprisoned, not a character they are controlling.

User's role and point of view (POV): The user experiences the entirety of the narrative in first person. Everything is occurring in real time and their decisions directly affect the progression of the narrative. When the narrator refers to the main character they say “you”, as to put the user directly in the seat of the character they are controlling, giving them a fair amount of agency.

Storyworld and sub-settings: The story takes place in the not too distant future, the year 2040. Where the world has fallen into complete turmoil. There are now more global conflicts occurring simultaneously than ever before. The overpopulation of the planet has reached a new high, many old neighbourhoods have been redesigned with massive apartment buildings to accommodate for the continued increase in global residency. Along with these complications, crime continues to get worse. Every year there are more murders, thefts, vandalism, etc. It is because of this that the Canadian government has decided to crack down hard on crime, creating the Bread and Water system.

Bread and Water is the replacement of what we know as “life in prison”. Previously, “life in prison” meant a maximum of 25 years, with the possibility of parole before the end of the sentence. The government thought that this approach gave the criminals too much leeway and decided to put in place a system that would deter criminals much further than before. Now, instead of “life in prison”, the criminal is literally incarcerated until they die, with only bread and water for sustenance. Their case is never looked at again, also known as, they have no chance of being released after they have been handed down their sentence.

The story takes place close to the onset of this new law, documenting the experiences of the first 5 people to receive the sentence; one of which is the main character, played by the user, who has been wrongly accused, and could do nothing about it. Other than trying to escape that is. The 5 inmates are kept in a section of the prison that is separate from the main building. In the “B+W” building they each have their own room, very small, with barely any light coming in. In the middle of their rooms is an open courtyard with some weights and other fitness items. At the end of the hallway is the shower room. It has 5 shower stalls, all of the inmates shower at the same time with a guard watching. Speaking of guards, there is usually only 1 present at a time, considering the low number of inmates in the building. There are only ever 2 at once, during a shift change. To eat meals, the inmates are chained up and lead to the main cafeteria where they sit in the corner and their food is brought to them. They are forced to eat every meal in chains and shackles.

Narrative/Gaming Elements: The story revolves around the main character, who is mostly constructed by the user. I want to provide them with enough choice in the dialogue that they can craft the personality of the character through what they choose to say and do. As the main character the user will have the opportunity to engage in depth with 4 other characters. Some interaction will take place with the guards, but they have little to no personality, they are just cold and rude.

The player has the opportunity to unlock 12 different endings, 3 for each of the 4 characters (Numbers, Taylor, Sam, and Jamie), as well as many “death” endings that can occur from various situations. The character the user breaks out of jail with in one scenario will be the antagonist of another. The path the player ends up on is heavily influenced by decisions they make early in the narrative. The first time the inmates are allowed out of their cells into the “yard” there is serious tension and a fight breaks out between Jamie and Sam. What the user decides to do here will essentially select which of the 4 main paths that they will be sent down on. If they break up the fight but don’t take sides, for example, Numbers will approach them soon afterwards and that plotline will take off. If they decide to step in and knock out Sam, Jamie instantly befriends them and the story heads in a dark direction.

From there, each storyline will contain it’s own pivotal moment that then branch of into its own 3 plot options. Once one of the three final options has been established the story will progress in a more linear fashion, making its way towards that ending. To disrupt this linearity I will insert opportunities to “die” along the way. So even if the user feels comfortable knowing the direction the story is headed in, they still need to be on their toes as they could die at any moment. I am still working on the specifics of each of the plot lines, however, they are not developed enough yet to present. Regardless of the path the character takes they will undergo similar interpersonal experiences and inner monologue. Such as the moment when they are recounting their time outside of prison. The user will get to decide whether they liked or hated their job and life, or whether they were indifferent. A choice like this may seem small but it will influence the direction the story is headed in. For example if the user says that they liked their old job and life they put themselves on a path more likely to escape from jail. Although, if they say they didn’t like any of their old life they are still presented with an opportunity later on to overcome this mentality, having dealt with how poor living conditions are in jail.

Interaction Design/Interface: A standard choose your own adventure novel usually provides the user with 2 choices, each of which leads to a huge block of text, with 2 new choices at the end. I want to break this convention by providing more opportunities for the user to make decisions. Giving them a feeling of agency far beyond that of any normal choose your own adventure interactive narrative. A key example of this is the combat system I am developing that will allow users to engage in interactive blow by blow combats, with each choice leading to a different path and it’s own conclusion to the fight.

Although a fight may have 6 endings, they would all correlate to one of the paths the character now finds themselves on. I want to create as many varied situations as possible in order to give the work extensive replayability. It may be an ambitious task, but that is why I have taken it on in the form of text, with sparsely placed images. This way I can focus all of my attention on the development of the many the narratives which are possible in this world. So, with that said, it will be text, but it will be one of the most alive, engaging text the user has ever interacted with.

Character Design:

148695 (aka “Numbers”)

Basic Statistics

Age: 28 Nationality: American Socioeconomic Level as a child: poor Socioeconomic Level as an adult: poor Hometown: Los Angeles, California Residence Before Jail: Montreal, Quebec Occupation: Thief Income: high, due to luxury car theft and resale Talents/Skills: lock picking, electronic rewiring, can disassemble and assemble items quickly, in shape, agile Siblings: only child Spouse: none Children: none Parents: raised by father, never knew mother. Has distant relationship with father, as he was rarely around during their upbringing. Significant Others: none Relationship skills: has always been a loner, only associates with people for personal benefit, scared to open up or be vulnerable in any situation, tendency to talk too much once they become comfortable with someone

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’8” Weight: 170 lbs Race: Hispanic Eye Color: brown Hair Color/Style: brown/Shaggy Glasses or contact lenses? no Shape of Face: narrow Distinguishing features: pointed nose, small ears, “dead” eyes Mannerisms: always looking around with a paranoid look in their eyes, bouncing their leg nervously, tapping on their leg Health: in good health, works out in cell but not in yard Hobbies: counting things, collecting things Favorite Sayings: “that doesn’t sound like a good idea” “i don’t know” Speech patterns: nervous, worried, broken, anti-social Disabilities: none Style: rolled up prison pants, cuffed sleeves, prison shirt tucked in Greatest flaw: untrusting of everyone Best quality: quick thinker

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: dropped out of highschool Intelligence Level: high Any Mental Illnesses? none Learning Experiences: learned most things themselves, either through the internet or through life experience Character's short-term goals in life: breaking out of jail Character's long-term goals in life: living in Los Angeles again How does Character see himself/herself? low self worth, doesn’t understand own talents How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? hated by all How self-confident is the character? not at all Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? logic, but is deeply emotional as well What would most embarrass this character? being wrong

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: able to persevere through tough situations but is never able to value their own worth Introvert or Extrovert? introvert How does the character deal with anger? balls it up inside, pretends like nothing is wrong, explodes in the end With sadness? on the surface, they usually appear to be sad, but would claim otherwise if asked With conflict? calm, and cool. Does not get flustered easily With change? able to adapt and change to many situations With loss? shuts it out, pretending like everything is fine What does the character want out of life? they aren’t sure What would the character like to change in their life before jail? regrets being a thief but isn’t sure what else they could have done given the situation they found themselves in What motivates this character? personal gain, money What frightens this character? being alone, guns, small spaces (claustrophobic) What makes this character happy? success, money, their enemies failing Is the character judgmental of others? yes, thinks they know more than most people Is the character generous or stingy? stingy, even to those they are close with Is the character generally polite or rude? not rude, more cold and calm

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? no What are the character's spiritual beliefs? we die and worms eat us Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? no If so, what role does it play? n/a

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Relationships with other characters:

Taylor: Numbers and Taylor are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Taylor storyline, Numbers will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Numbers keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

Sam: Numbers and Sam are on neutral terms. Despite Sam being rude to Numbers, Numbers does not let it affect them. If the player proceeds with the Sam storyline, Numbers will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Numbers keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

Jamie: Numbers and Jamie are not on good terms. Numbers can feel the evil seeping from Jamie and is extremely off put by it. If the user pursues the storyline with Jamie, Numbers will hold a grudge against the player and will vow to stopping them at any cost.

User: If the use decides to follow the Numbers story paths Numbers will slowly open up to the user. By the end of the experience Numbers will have changed due to the influence of the user.

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Ending 1: Numbers becomes more trusting of people due to their interaction with the main character, they escape the jail together and it is only thanks to the skills of Numbers that they were able to do so, giving them more self worth Ending 2: The escape fails and Numbers is not to blame, but no matter what, will forever blame themselves for the security being tightened in the jail, not much of a departure from the beginning of the story Ending 3: Numbers is inspired by their discussions with the main character and accept a new view on life, one of self acceptance and understanding their own personal worth, however, this comes to a tragic end when they attempt to escape the jail alone and are shot dead

Additional Notes on This Character/Reason for being in jail: Numbers has decided to identify as their prisoner no. instead of their birth name because they were never connected with their original name to begin with. In addition to that they feel that their name is tied to a past that they want to try to forget, recognizing that it may not be perfect “but this set of numbers seems more like me than any other name I can think of right now.” In the process of stealing a luxury car they ran over and killed a mother and 2 children, smashing into an old folks home, killing 3 elderly people as well.

Taylor (aka “The Artist”)

Basic Statistics

Age: 36 Nationality: Canadian Socioeconomic Level as a child: middle-class Socioeconomic Level as an adult: poor Hometown: Paris, Ontario Residence Before Jail: Vancouver, BC Occupation: Artist/grocery clerk Income: very low, when they do sell art works they only sell for a couple hundred dollars Talents/Skills: painting, sculpting, conceptualizing, thinking creatively, good at public speaking Siblings: older brother who is a hockey coach in the CHL Spouse: partner of one year, not sure if they will wait for Taylor’s release Children: none Parents: positive relationships with mother and father, “normal” upbringing pushed Taylor to rebel and explore creative side Significant Others: best friend and fellow artist Shinza Benzo, known for their installation work of light and shadow Relationship skills: easy to get along with, knows how to make people laugh, generally nice and easy going

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’2” Weight: 130 lbs Race: Caucasian Eye Color: blue Hair Color/Style: dirty blonde/ponytail Glasses or contact lenses? glasses Shape of Face: round Distinguishing features: round eyes, big smile, scar under left eye Mannerisms: likes to fiddle with things as they talk, scratches nose and face often, laughs very loudly, cracks knuckles often Health: not fit, lazes around cell all day Hobbies: making art with anything they can find, fingernails included Favorite Sayings: “everything is art” “the answer to all of life’s problems is art” Speech patterns: smooth talker, excitable, can be loud Disabilities: weak ankle from skateboarding injury Style: wears prison uniform inside out until they are forced to wear it normally, this happens daily Greatest flaw: too trusting of people Best quality: doesn’t take life too seriously

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: finished high school, dropped out of art college Intelligence Level: medium Any Mental Illnesses? none Learning Experiences: uses online tutorials for most learning, otherwise is hands on and learns for themselves, never respected the advice of older people Character's short-term goals in life: make new pieces of art that transcend the works of the great masters Character's long-term goals in life: die peacefully in jail How does Character see themselves? high self worth, thinks they are hilarious How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? loved by all How self-confident is the character? extremely Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? purely emotional What would most embarrass this character? learning that people were only pretending to like them

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: able to think creatively and think of ideas no one else would, however they are quick to act on these ideas and this impulsiveness can get them in trouble Introvert or Extrovert? extrovert How does the character deal with anger? does not hide anger or any emotion, deals with it head on With sadness? does not hide sadness or any emotion, deals with it head on With conflict? easily upset, willing to engage in conflict without second thought With change? able to adapt and change to many situations With loss? does not hide any emotion, deals with it head on What does the character want out of life? to make art that will live on for centuries to come What would the character like to change in their life before jail? wished they had spent more time having fun and less time worrying about bills and other financial woes What motivates this character? emotional gratification, the satisfaction of others, laughter and fun What frightens this character? environments with lots of people, death/aging What makes this character happy? the happiness of others, as well as good art Is the character judgmental of others? no, they are very open minded Is the character generous or stingy? generous Is the character generally polite or rude? rude, but in a friendly/fun manner

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? no What are the character's spiritual beliefs? we die and our spiritual energy is returned to the universe Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? yes, they believe in quantum physics and spirituality If so, what role does it play? they are under the impression that they have the ability to influence the world around them with their thoughts and actions, this governs the way they conduct themselves on a daily bases

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Numbers: Taylor and Numbers are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Numbers storyline, Taylor will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Taylor keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

Sam: There is something about Sam that Taylor hates, but they can’t put there finger on exactly what. It is because of this Taylor will make fun of Sam and try to instigate confrontations. If the player pursues the Sam story path Taylor will hold it against them and try to disrupt the plans to escape, using the opportunity to make their own escape.

Jamie: Taylor and Jamie are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Jamie storyline, Taylor will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Taylor keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

User: If the user choses to pursue the Taylor story paths they will be brought into Taylor’s strange world of art. Taylor will create art with the user, as well as having extensive conversations about art philosophy, as well has metaphysical philosophy.

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Ending 1: The experience of breaking of of jail has changed Taylor, making them a much tougher and cynical person, having dealt with the ordeals of jail and the trials of the escape, Taylor now sees a darker side to the world that was not there before Ending 2: After the failed escape Taylor returns to making art, after going ballistic about the failure they quickly settle back into their old ways and mannerisms Ending 3: As the story progresses and the years pass by, Taylor slowly becomes more and more positive, believing deeper and deeper that they can change their surrounding with their thoughts and inner emotions. This culminates in a self induced hallucination that they are unable to escape, resulting in their own blissful insanity

Additional Notes on This Character/Reason for being in jail: Being a poor artist left Taylor is a desperate spot, unable to pay their bills and having borrowed money from shady people, they were in a perilous situation when they were able to pay the money back. This lead to Taylor taking on a job to pay back the loan that ended up being a set up, using them as a scapegoat so that a crime lord was able to get away with a series of crimes

Sam (aka “The Gambler”)

Basic Statistics

Age: 46 Nationality: American Socioeconomic Level as a child: rich Socioeconomic Level as an adult: poor Hometown: New York, New York Residence Before Jail: Toronto, Ontario Occupation: used car salesperson/high stakes gambler Income: high, when they’re winning, but then they would blow it all soon after and be poor again Talents/Skills: prediction, reading people’s emotions, smooth talker Siblings: only child Spouse: deceased Children: deceased Parents: lived with their mother and would visit their father occasionally growing up, whenever they would be with their father, they would go to the tracks or to a bar to bet on a sporting event Significant Others: Charlie and Frances their gambling buddies who they tells stories about to take their mind off being in jail Relationship skills: sam finds it hard to connect with people on a deeper level, often sam will pretend to like someone or be their friend just to have company, sam is easy to get along with but has lots of qualities that make them hard to deal with at the same time

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5’7” Weight: 200 lbs Race: African Eye Color: brown Hair Color/Style: small messy afro Glasses or contact lenses? no Shape of Face: square Distinguishing features: missing several fingers, big eyes Mannerisms: moves slowly, dances to pass the time or when they are bored, rolling rocks or anything similar to dice Health: not in shape, slowly losing weight due to bread and water diet Hobbies: trying to bet on things with the other prisoners and the guards, writing choose your own adventure novels Favorite Sayings: “i bet…” “you wouldn’t believe…” Speech patterns: speaks quickly while not saying much of anything, always feels like they are trying to convince the person they are talking to of something Disabilities: shoulder injury from high school sports team, unable to lift heavy objects Style: wears prison uniform normally, pushes sleeves up to elbows occasionally Greatest flaw: willing to take large and uncalculated risks Best quality: they don’t let bad situations affect them negatively

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: finished university on parents money, used business degree to open used car dealership Intelligence Level: low-medium Any Mental Illnesses? none Learning Experiences: lots of university/scholarly knowledge, combined with street smarts and lessons learned from gambling Character's short-term goals in life: break out of jail Character's long-term goals in life: starting a new family How does Character see himself/herself? thinks they are an amazing person but can’t forgive themselves for what they have done How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? doesn’t really care How self-confident is the character? moderately Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? mostly emotion, while pretending it’s logic What would most embarrass this character? losing a bet

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: able to understand people on a deeper level by reading their body language and mannerisms, however they are very stubborn and are unwilling to take advice from others Introvert or Extrovert? extrovert How does the character deal with anger? lashes out at the cause of it With sadness? pretend they are fine, cry while they are alone With conflict? will try to solve problems with games With change? finds adapting to new scenarios difficult With loss? holds onto it, finds it hard to move on What does the character want out of life? a family like they had before What would the character like to change in their life before jail? being a gambler, but they lament they will always be a gambler What motivates this character? true relationships, financial gain What frightens this character? being alone, losing money, loan sharks What makes this character happy? being with their partner and kids, winning a bet Is the character judgmental of others? yes, thinks they know more than most people Is the character generous or stingy? stingy, except with close friends and family Is the character generally polite or rude? rude, they have little care for the opinions of others

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? no What are the character's spiritual beliefs? we die and that’s it Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? no If so, what role does it play? n/a

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Numbers: Sam cannot stand Numbers’ attitude. Any time Sam tries to talk to Numbers’ they get the cold shoulder, and this really annoys them. If the user pursues the Numbers story paths, Sam will become a major obstacle, doing whatever they can to disrupt the escape plans. If only just to mess with Numbers and the user.

Taylor: Sam and Taylor are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Taylor storyline, Sam will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Taylor keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

Jamie: Sam and Jamie are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Jamie storyline, Sam will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Taylor keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

User: If the user chooses the Sam story paths, they will experience some in game gambling as well as more fights than with any other NPC companion.

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Ending 1: After the main character saves Sam’s life during the escape, Sam comes to realize that their selfish ways are what caused them all of this pain and suffering to begin with Ending 2: The escape fails, Sam and the main character are both killed while trying to escape Ending 3: After the main character tells Sam that they don’t plan on escaping, Sam tries without them. Failing horribly and gets killed

Additional Notes on This Character/Reason for being in jail: Sam bet the lives of their partner and children on a gamble, that he lost, they were then killed and the murder was traced back to Sam, it was ruled similar to a ‘hit’ being carried out by a ‘hitman’ and with Sam being at the head of the order giving, it was ruled that they would receive the bread and water punishment

Jamie (aka “The Serial Killer”)

Basic Statistics

Age: 18 Nationality: Canadian Socioeconomic Level as a child: middle-class Socioeconomic Level as an adult: middle-class Hometown: Winnipeg, Manitoba Residence Before Jail: Winnipeg, Manitoba Occupation: student Income: n/a Talents/Skills: good at sports including wrestling and boxing, skills in cooking (learned from their father the chef) Siblings: younger sister, they never got along, Jamie beats her from time to time, only until their father can step in and return the beating to Jamie tenfold Spouse: n/a Children: n/a Parents: grew up in a house with their mother and father. The father was always really abusive but would mask the abuse by pretending to be nice and buying things for Jamie, it was a very confusing life growing up. Jamie’s mother just sat by and watch it all happen, Jamie holds some resentment towards her because of this. Significant Others: Jamie is popular at school but when they go home they prefer to be alone Relationship skills: Jamie is goodlooking and in shape, so many of the popular kids at school think they are cool. They are awkward when speaking to people however and for the most part try to stay silent in group conversations.

Physical Characteristics:

Height: 6’2” Weight: 230 lbs Race: Caucasian Eye Color: green Hair Color/Style: short/messy Glasses or contact lenses? no Shape of Face: rectangle Distinguishing features: square jaw, toned muscles, round cheeks Mannerisms: little wasted movement (every movement has a purpose), will often sit still for hours on end, when nervous or feeling shy Jamie with tug on their earlobe Health: in perfect shape, other than sitting still Jamie spends most of their time exercising Hobbies: trying to play mind games with the guards and other inmates Favorite Sayings: “i don’t think you know me” “you’ll regret that” Speech patterns: speaks slowly and with purpose, the delivery of some of their speech comes across creepy and insidious Disabilities: none Style: wears prison uniform normally Greatest flaw: is a serial killer Best quality: doesn’t let negativity affect their mood aka scary/unnatural levels of positivity

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: was in first year of university when arrested Intelligence Level: high Any Mental Illnesses? Inability to relate with other people, feels no compassion, no remorse, unable to make decisions - acts mostly on impulse Learning Experiences: besides schooling, they have been fairly sheltered Character's short-term goals in life: harass those around them Character's long-term goals in life: breaking out of jail How does Character see himself/herself? Thinks very highly of themselves, but at the same time has this thought of worthlessness in their head that was put there by their abusive father How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Thinks that everyone hates them even when people are being positive towards them, they always perceive it as the person being fake How self-confident is the character? fairly Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? emotion What would most embarrass this character? losing a fight

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: able to handle large amounts of grief without being emotionally affected, however, they are mentally unstable and are a threat to those around them continually Introvert or Extrovert? introvert How does the character deal with anger? Calculates a retaliation and then acts on it With sadness? pretend they are fine, cry while they are alone With conflict? Is willing to fight at the drop of a hat With change? Has a hard time dealing with change With loss? Doesn’t consider it What does the character want out of life? To have more sex with elderly people (details below) What would the character like to change in their life before jail? Nothing, they were enjoying themselves and are annoyed they can’t keep doing what they were doing What motivates this character? The pain of others, and sex What frightens this character? Their father What makes this character happy? Having sex with elderly people until they die Is the character judgmental of others? No, they couldn’t care too much about the existence of others Is the character generous or stingy? stingy Is the character generally polite or rude? Polite, but they are only putting on a face

Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? no What are the character's spiritual beliefs? we die and that’s it Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life? no If so, what role does it play? n/a

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): Scene where character first appears: Relationships with other characters:

Numbers: Jamie and Numbers are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Numbers storyline, Jamie will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Numbers keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

Taylor: Being such a jock as Jamie is, they have never understood art. It is because of this that Taylor seems like such a complete moron, one that they hate with everything they have. If the user chooses to pursue the Taylor story paths, Jamie will create major disturbances for both of them, many instances leading to death.

Sam: Jamie and Sam are on neutral terms. If the player proceeds with the Sam storyline, Jamie will hold no ill will and will not try to disrupt the situation. Sam keeps to themselves and is scarce in this scenario.

User: If the user chooses to pursue the Jamie story paths they are in for some weird times. From being groped in the shower to Jamie professing his love to them. All in a sick and twisted rollercoaster towards escaping. These story paths are not for the light of heart.

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Ending 1: Jamie comes to understand that there are people out there in the world that are willing to help them, not always bring them down or pretend to be friends with them to gain something personally. This doesn’t cure Jamie of being a serial killer but definitely gives them pause, causing them to re-evaluate their situation going forward Ending 2: The escape fails, Jamie and the main character are both killed while trying to escape Ending 3: Jamie and the main character slowly become friends, breaking down a lot of the walls that Jamie had put up, Jamie admits that they miss the sex with elderly people but at the same time are starting to feel remorse for what they have done.

Additional Notes on This Character/Reason for being in jail: Jamie has the fetish of having sex with elderly people until they have a heart attack/die. Men, and women both. Jamie killed 6 elderly people before finally being arrested. This fetish spawned from their grandparents sexually abusing Jamie when they were growing up. Jamie’s grandparents were the first victims.

Profiles built using worksheet from: http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/jun98/how-to-create-a-character-profile-6986