#its okay if u hate me and yr my friend

[purretty-purrincess]

ok chat clocking out agan sorry

[kachuuyaa]

BAY CITY ROMANCE 𖥻 002 𖥻 SECOND YR!

bcr masterlist ; prev ; next

synopsis: back in the main building, scrambling students await their results. what happens when you get lost in the sea of students?

warnings: chuuya hating on everyone, ranpo getting lost, u losing everyone (physically cuz its crowded as HELL)...

notes: UMMMM SORRY FOR BEING IA was broken up w IM SORY i’ll b more active now that school’s overr!!! n im graduating too soo ULL SEE MORE FROM ME…. DONT FORGET… I PROMSIED

Rushing along the hallways, you step down from the staircase to reach the exit. Seeing familiar faces, you waved at them in a rushed manner as your friends continued to make your phone vibrate with countless notifications, frustration bubbling in your head. Quietly setting your phone on “Do Not Disturb”, you maneuver yourself through the campus flawlessly. Although you have only been here for a year, you were meticulous enough to observe the layout of the campus, familiarizing yourself with the buildings and halls of the school. Truth be told, it can be confusing, with equally puzzling hallways, even if there were guides at the beginning of each structure. Rarely do students try and remember the school's architecture, knowing how time-consuming it can be. You find it amusing how students, as old as they are, wander around the building aimlessly in an attempt to reach their assigned facility. However, you can’t blame them, being a victim of the school’s complex walls, although rarely. You take pride in yourself for analyzing the school with such keen observation, landing yourself in front of the Inari hall (law-based strand hall), you take a sharp turn and see the faint silhouette of the Amaterasu hall (main building). Slowing down, you started walking, looking at the time, which relieved you as you arrived 10 minutes before the publishing. You kicked a rock while moving your feet, encoding the password in your phone before typing a quick ‘I’m here’ to the group chat.

Walking through the doors with newfound confidence, the students turned to look at you, with their eyes lingering on you briefly before resuming their tasks. You observed each student, some typing away on their laptops, some chatting with their friends, and some sleeping in the corners of the hall. A particular student came up to you, wrapping their arms around your neck from behind, and alerted you with their voice, “[Name]! Hi!” Slurring out the vowels of his greeting, Ranpo greeted you loudly, catching the attention of a few students before resuming their actions.

“Ranpo, don’t be so loud!” Yosano came from behind him, smacking the back of his head while ignoring his protests. “Yo, [Name]. We saw your texts.” She leaned to you, wrapping an arm around Ranpo in the process, making you laugh at his complaints. “Okay, and you came here for?” You asked, but cut yourself off, “Wait, right, for the tests.” Yosano gave you a look that could only be identified as ‘obviously’ written all over her face. “Just wanted to catch up with you. This fucker over here wanted to arrive first before you.” She turned to Ranpo, tightening her arm around his neck. “Hey! The cat on the sidewalk was just too cute not to notice!” He defended, jolting his head up towards the girl, “Not my fault he started meowing as soon as he saw me!” Yosano sighed, “We would’ve been there 10 minutes before [Name] was here,” She clicked her tongue, “Whatever.”

You were busy watching the two bicker when the doors opened, revealing a certain Philosophy major and business major, and entered the building, immediately locking their eyes on the three of you. Before they could do anything, though, the speaker vibrated with sound. “Results in 5 minutes, please proceed to the main hall.” As soon as it ended, students started clamoring around, trying to fix their things to make it into the hall in time. Some students started running, paying no mind to the papers falling to the floor. You’d understand, the year was about to end, anyway. Noticing the rush and excitement of the students, you locked eyes with Yosano, a plan brewing in both minds. Nodding, Yosano pried her arm off Ranpo.

You and Yosano ran, laughing loudly when Ranpo’s screams of protest echoed through the crowded hall, ceasing once he caught sight of Sigma and Fyodor. “Fuck, man!” You heaved out, “Don’t ever make me run a marathon like that ever fucking again,” Panting, Yosano laughed at your exasperated expression. “Get in shape, come on!” She encouraged you lightly, shoving your shoulder as you glared at her playfully. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” Yosano reassured, however, face blanking as she remembered Ranpo; “Well, not really. Ranpo will scold us for God knows how long for leaving him.” You laughed breathlessly, awaiting the results excitedly as a pair of hands took hold of your shoulders. “Guess who,” The baritone voice was heard from your left ear, making you jump. “Fyo!” You greeted him, turning around almost instantly, and hugged him. “Hi,” He said softly. Next to him was Sigma, who waved at you gently. Yosano waved at them in response, “Fyodor, what happened to your other friends? I thought they’d be here.” She queried, crossing her arms on the railing. “I tried to get them to go, but they said they’d wait for the online posting.” Fyodor mimicked her actions, Yosano shaking her head, “Lazy asses.” She muttered, which earned a smirk from Fyodor in return. “Did you all just forget about me?!” Ranpo whined, pouting at the both of you. You chuckled at his behavior, “Yeah--”

The bell rang through the hall, catching the attention of all the students present. “Oh, shit!” Chuuya’s voice resounded through the room, as he landed on Ranpo while running. “I didn’t hear the fucking announcement!” Ranpo voiced out an ‘oof!’, lunging forward after feeling the impact of Chuuya’s body on him. “Chuuya!” He shouted, earning multiple protests from students around him. “You okay?” Fyodor asked both of them, handing out his arms for them to grab. “Thanks, I guess.” Chuuya shook off nonexistent dirt from his clothes and stretched out his arms, receiving only a smile from Fyodor in return. “Guys, shut the fuck up.” Yosano shushed them, the screen illuminating with the results. With all the different majors, it would be hard to identify where your results are.

Fortunately, there were different screens to look through, one for each major. It stretches out until the end of the hall, with various monitors assigned for each strand. “Oh, oh. Where is Business Management?” Sigma muttered, mostly to themselves, walking off as she stared off at the multiple screens. “Sigma, wait! Come here, it’s over here.” You stated, ushering her to your left while pointing at a certain screen. He followed your finger, walking with your hand on their lower back. “Thank you, [Name], I see it,” He looked at you, evident that he was grateful for your actions. “Thank you!” Sigma runs off, and your eyes quickly drift back to the screen, not before whispering a ‘you’re welcome’ that was left unheard. “Psychology, psychology…” You sauntered around the wide building, abandoning your friends to look for your major. “Oh, fuck! There you are.” Spotting your major gave you incredible whiplash, as you tried to spot your name following your major, indicated with bold letters, attracting many people after you.

[Name] [L. Name] - 4.0

Holy fuck.

You didn’t want to say you expected it, you would perceive that would be quite egotistical of you, but with the work you have done and the time you have sacrificed in order to get such a rank, you felt as if you deserved the position. Disregarding the feelings of others (especially the top 2, you muttered a quiet apology to them mentally) was never an option for you, but holding yourself in high regard is deserving for you, as hardworking as you are. Pride washed over you, but not arrogance, you would never allow that to happen, as a student striving for success. Pride would only be your downfall, that much you knew, and that was enough reason to avoid the emotion entirely. You excused yourself from the crowd, heading back to where you thought your friends were to share your results. However, as you expected, they were not present. The only person you saw was Ranpo, seemingly confused as the crowd made the layout too convoluted to navigate.

“Ranpo,” You voiced out, his head turning towards you, flashing you a bright smile. “Hey, have you seen your scores yet?” He asked, squishing his way through, earning groans from other people as he slipped past them. He didn’t bother muttering an apology, clicking his tongue as he tried to reach you. You stood still, albeit moving quite a bit from the numerous people moving from every side. “Yeah! I did-- shit,” Interrupted by the impact of another body, you stumbled towards Ranpo, catching him off guard. His eyes scrunched in annoyance-- not to you, of course, it would never be you. “What did you get, then?” His tone portrayed annoyance, evident to both of you, “You already know.” Sending a knowing wink to him, he responded with a smirk that showcases his pride.

Of course, he would not say it out loud, but he was incredibly proud of you, and he knew that you were aware, so he found no need to voice it out loud. Ranpo was observant, too observant for your own liking, it was unnerving to others but it was natural to you and the group. His observant nature was what made him rise in popularity as a student, anyway. He was talented, that much you knew, but he disliked trying new activities that would make his reputation grow. He didn’t mind, though. He was tranquil with what he had, despite the unruliness of the school. “Of course I do.” He responded, grabbing your wrists gently to guide you out of the crowded hall, before you could ask, however, he swiftly cut you off, “I don’t have to check my scores to know what rank I am!” He exclaimed proudly, a laugh bubbling from his throat, reverting back to his childish persona. You chuckled at this, raising your hand to cover the crinkle of your mouth. “A failing grade?” You joked, earning an expression of shock from the man. “No, no way!” He protested, putting his arms up in defense. “It’s a perfect score. I know it, I know it!” He said, balling up his fists in childish protest.

“We should go to the cafeteria, no? I heard there was a new cafe.” You suggested, averting the topic completely. You really wanted to go, seeing as the wave of students won’t cease anytime soon. “Yeah… yeah, we should.” His grip on your wrist didn’t falter, as he guided you outside. This action surprised you, as Ranpo was used to being led, not leading you. A few minutes pass and you are led to a secluded area, void of any students. You wish you knew how you got here, but Ranpo only bashfully smiled at his current position. “Um… at least there are no students, right?” He awkwardly commented, his voice filling the air and entering your ears, wincing at your annoyed expression. “Yeah.” You calmly responded, however, the coldness in your voice was enough to make him think that you were exasperated. “No, I’m not annoyed,” You waved him off, “I know what you’re thinking.” Standing up, you led him to the closest exit, which was to your right. Your footsteps resounded across the empty hallway, leading you back to the crowded area. Ranpo rushed to you to get hold of your clothes, gripping them tightly so as not to lose you. You lazily navigated the long building, pushing some students until you reached the long awaiting exit with Ranpo.

“[Name],” He drawled out, “Where are the others? I wanna go to the cafe with them too…” He mumbled, letting go of your shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. Let me text them,” You fished out your phone, rolling your eyes playfully. “You have your phone, right? Why don’t you go talk to them?” Ranpo huffed, “‘cause I don’t want to!”

“Fine, then.” You waved him off, walking without him by your side. Alarmed at this, he chased after you, “Yo, hey! [Name], wait!” You ran faster at this, snickering at his growing yells, hiding behind a tree when you’re sure he can’t see you, and you opened your message app.

trivia:

fyodor would have gone with your group even if his other friends showed up.

HALLS AND ESTABLISHMENTS

okuninushi hall — ABM strands (has a library, 3rd biggest)

omoikane hall— HUMSS (1st most extensive library)

jurojin library, separate from the HUMSS building but considered a parr of it

takeminakata hall — agriculture, nature strands, etc (2nd most extensive library)

benzaiten hall — general academics (art, sports, also includes the theater, mini theater, miscellaneous stuff)

theater is called ame-no-uzume

inari hall — law-based strands (small building, but has the 4th most extensive library)

sarutahiko hall — sports complex

amaterasu hall — main building, has awarding hall and award section

daikokuten/daikoku hall — math-centered majors hall (archi, statistics, etc)

izanagi hall — med/health building (close to the HUMSS hall)

ryujin hall — science/biology hall (mainly sci/physics strands) (connects to med/health)

tg: @iruc @celestair

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

[intertexts]

since I can't talk about my favorite bits that made me go AUGH bc of things you dont know about yet. give me ur favorite bit. what was ur favorite bit in that fic. gimme the authors notes behind the scenes ramble

AUAUAUAUA.... u r so nice 2 meee godddd what the hell. exploding u💥💥💥!!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY. OK. OK. AUTHORS NOTES.

things i included that i am VERY IFFY ON but nevertheless went for:

>i think there's like 70/30 odds that they (dakota) try to do the putting ashe's headphones with thank you scientist or smth blaring on him to try & bring him back thing. can't tell you if it'll work or not but it has to come up. nevertheless i think if u were stuck in yr head for a year with the fucking trickster u would appreciate some quiet!!!!!! & its just. idk man. that's what i'd spiral over. what if one day u wake up n u don't even like all the stuff u love anymore. etc.

>I'M ALSO TAKING. A REALLY FUCKING LONG SHOT by explicitly referring to wiwi as alive? honestly? like it's a 50/50, i think that all the stuff w/ the heart etc should continue to have thematic resonance, but also i don't know how that will work with the wisps when they..... return? (<- using this word in the loosest possible way i just don't know how else to say it. when theyre onscreen again??) i'm sure the wisp thing gets some resolution i have no doubt. and i don't know if "whisperer william" and "alive body traits" are mutually exclusive. idk. idk. we'll see!!

>i'm assuming tide will make another appearance b4 the season ends. idgaf if he shows in deadwood or not i fucking HOPE NOT but i just thought man. he Would come to bring them all back n take care of them. i think he and mark should get to have a really long slightly more. real? conversation on how much parenting fucking sucks and is stressful and terrifying and they feel bad at it.

MY FAVORITE BIT. goddd. iiii. ok. i have a lot of Thoughts on wingfics & idk. i guess i always think they're a bit too easy. u have wings that u Never Ever Let Anyone Touch Except Family And Lovers and u Let Someone Preen Them and what-- there isn't even any terrifying indecipherable swirl of emotions about it?? it isn't even scary?? (& also the whole Why Is It Good When People Touch Ur Wings. "because it is" okay??? and why then?? i also am guilty of this but at least theres like. two sentences about it.) & when there's hybrid shit & its like ok suddenly u woke up with Searing Pain in ur back and things writhing around in there breaking through yr skin and bone to get out and-- thats IT??? there isn't even gonna be any lasting trauma about it? you're not even gonna feel weird about being permanently Different now? it isn't even inconvenient and painful?? so ig that's like-- the core of this one, lmao. obviously i have. Thoughts and Feelings on the whole prime nonconsensually and irrevocably changing ur body defenders thing. like. of course. thesis statement of my blog. & i have thoughts about. being a vessel & not getting any say in it, ig. idk. i hate when people take my stuff without asking!! the idea of someone taking my ME without asking is like, viscerally terrifying 2 me. not unpacking that moving on etc.... my favorite bit is ig ashe having conflicting and messy emotions on liking the way it feels. freaking out and trying 2 stonewall it out & eventually just. letting himself have the good thing. oversharing 9pm time but idk... ashe is a little Like Me in that he was a fucking shut in & never had friends until he was a teenager and doesn't really. know much about it? didn't have much experience in it? so he's really satisfying to write not in a projection-y way but an ah! i KNOW what this is like i can write this correctly!! very scary!!!! very 24/7 butterflies in ur stomach!! OH. I LIED. ACTUALLY. my favorite bit is ashe unconsciously using words & such abt capacitors and voltage and electricity etc. bc of growing up with an electrician dad :] very very small and minor but i have a lot of fucking emotions abt it actually!!! anyway. yeag <333

other behind the scenes thing: in my head wiwi is freaking the FUCK out the entire time he is going shit SHIT SHIT i'm so fucking bad at this shittttttttttttt is this what it's like for dakota to deal with me. is this what i'm like. shit. what do vynce and dakota do. hes like. cartoon running putting down the tracks just in front of the train this entire time <33 this is important to me.

[leave-your-body]

hiiii juno :)))) ive been getting really into mcr lately and with you being my Certified MCR Mutual tm i thought you could give me some recs maybe .............. so far I've only listened to the black parade and i really liked it :))))

HI ARI how have u been!!!!!!!!! i love u my king i hope u are Well.

now.. HEAVY BREATHING. Yes i will give u recs.. THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME this made me really really happy!!!! sorry if this is way too in depth btw unfortunately i cant be casual about Anything

so for recs, it really depends on what music u like!! i OBVIOUSLY recommend like, the entirety of three cheers for sweet revenge. its The mcr album imo (tho not my fav, but we'll get to that in a sec), like its the one that feels the most Them and there is not a single song i would skip. i recommend watching the music videos for these too (for this album, they have mvs for helena, the ghost of you and im not okay)

NOW. my FAV album is their first one. bullets is a MASTERPIECE and even tho Objectively i have to say its not their best one, in my heart it totally is. this is the album that got me hooked on them. im obsessed. OBSESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! post-hardcore emo masterpiece... again this is a no skip album but like, more so than 3 cheers. i dont just listen to these songs i fucking Feel them. BUT that being said it depends on what kind of music u like!! for specific song recs, listen to vampires will never hurt u and skylines and turnstiles (<- this is the FIRST SONG gerard wrote for the band after 9/11... Wow), but my personal favs on that album are drowning lessons and demolition lovers and honey this mirror. Smiles

aside from that, youve already listened to black parade (the bsides are ALSO worth listening to, theres only 3: my way home is thru you, kill all yr friends, and heaven help us). danger days is their most hated album but i think those ppl just hate Joy and Whimsy and Fun. i recommend watching the music videos for na na na and sing bcuz they have a Storyline but thats a whole other post. and other than that i also rec listening to bulletproof heart, summertime and vampire money

LAST ONE I PROMISE. this is REQUIRED READING: listen to foundations of decay. their newest single..it changes lives i Promise. i say 'i must fix my heart' once a day at LEAST

AGAIN SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!!! I HOPE U ENJOY MCR let me knwo what u think :) obviously dont feel pressured to listen to all of these or even any of them!! but thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about them haha. and if u need anything else mcr-related i unfortanetely know everything about them and am more than willing to help out. okay bye

[criminal-sen]

Just saw a post by uhhh well I blocked them *I'm using them bc I didn't check pronouns, it's a 'I don't know this person' them* immediately. That not only tried to shame trans mascs for 'fetishizing' their own bits but then went on to talk about how mortified they are to have a 'boy pussy'. And i have some words:)

First off, ppl NEED to stop throwing around the word 'fetishizing' like it's some airy catch-all phrase for something that annoys them. To fetishize is specifically to dehumanize, to reduce a demographic down to sexual stereotypes (like saying asian women are cute and subservient or some shit). It is a gross and inappropriate way to treat ppl but now there's no fucking WORD for it cuz u guys use fetishize for EVERYTHING to the point where it has completely lost its meaning!!! Trans guys aren't fetishizing their own bits, they CAN'T fetishize their own bits bc those bits are attached to THEM, not to a different demographic they're talking down to!!! For crying out loud, just make a vent post about how it annoys you (or better, talk to a friend in privacy) and move on. Not everything has to be this big fucking callout

And secondly, I'm obviously not gonna tell someone how to feel about what's between their legs, there are times when I'm not thrilled about my 'boypussy' either, believe it or not. (And no, I'm also not thrilled about the term, but I am able to differentiate between something that annoys me and something that Needs To Stop Happening). I'm sorry u hate yr bits, I'm sorry u feel like a freak or whatever u said. But that doesn't give u the right to condemn yr fellow trans guys for trying to show some positivity. I mean, freedom of speech or whatever, I guess you have the 'right', it just makes you sound like an asshole. We're all out here trying to do our best with what we've got - maybe we're contemplating surgery, maybe surgery isn't an option, or maybe we're genuinely fine with it, everyone's different - and if saying we have a sexy boypussy helps some of us cope, good! Like jfc it's fine! So maybe filter the word so you don't see it, or even block every single guy who utters it, I don't think they'll mind (or even notice). And move on with your life. Okay that's all:/

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Oh shit there’s a new one okay. I thought the most recent was liek a week ago. Imma watch that rq

Okay I watched it I’m going feral I’m just gonna yell my opinions in yr inbox rq don’t mind me

Did they actually kill all of the fucking council memebers. They wouldn’t right. There’s no way <in denial. But no literally I will sob if they’re all dead. It looks like Mel is dead from mommy abassarda (🤤) seeking revenge and stuff. Would they kill golden boy and viktor tho? Unlikely. I’m also assuming Caitlyn’s mom is dead for that trauma

“you finally got the name right” I’m going to vomit

I know this is not an original opinion at all but I really hate the outfit 😭. Why does she look like that. What happened to my vi with her good outfits. Maybe it’s supposed to be symbolic that it doesn’t fit her but like

Istg if jinx dies I’m cutting off every riot persons heads

I’m a little mad they’re cutting it off at 2 seasons but it makes sense ig :/ I’m just like my lesbians. Why

YES! omg. i absolutely dont mind at all 😭. i was losing my mind!!! literally just WHAT.

i dont know if they did or not to be honest?? i remember seeing people discuss about them killing the members, and they debated about them killing champions. i dont think jayce is dead?? hes a champion. and if arcane is canon to LoL lore then like he wouldnt be?? not too sure about everyone else but i dont think the champions are dead or will die. cassandra however- i think fandom kinda considered her dead for a good majority of time. i dont know league lore so dont take me seriously 😭. BUT- i dont believe jayce is dead. idfk if viktor is, mel potentially. hmm... IM SURE like someone survived... they wouldnt do that to caitlyn... come on... kill her mom and then her childhood friend...? thats... ykw kinda on brand for the emotional turmoil.. BUT COME ON.

again- dont think they killed any champions but everyone else... yeah... probably rip. :(.

wondering how this is going to affect caitlyn tbh too. how is she going to handle herself. is vi going to comfort her?? uh... WILL WE FINALLY FUCKING GET A KISS?? istg anyway.

I KNOW!! oh mannnnn NO THATS NOT THE WORST PART

the "my sister is gone" had me like wanting to literally go insane because OUCH!!! someone please save vi from this turmoil 😭. shes gonna be put through it and IM not ready.

the red jacket was HER :(. i think its kinda a metaphor too like u mentioned about her not belonging on the team and feeling uncomfortable but then again the LoL players *were* clowning on the discourse of people being upset over vi being a cop. I DO LIKE THE GOGGLES THO. those r sick. but the outfit? girl what did they do to my favorite lesbian. who is she.

dont think jinx is gonna die thoughhhhh.... i mean... why would she... die... they wouldnt... right? ...right??

..right???????

please i just NEED them all to be okay i cant do this!!! /lh but also /srs. i do need them to be okay. IK I SIGNED UP FOR THIS BUT OW.

honestly im a little shocked about it being just 2 seasons too but i think its good just because of how long it took between 1-2. i have maaaad respect for the people working on it. swear as long as we get a physical release of the season season too ill be down. first we had news about s1 getting a physical TO A FUCKING TRAILER... we are eating SO good this week.

short and sweet though. tbh im sure theyll be able to tell what they need to cause 45 min per an ep. doesn't seem that surprising. but still 2 seasons is crazy. AS LONG AS THERES NO CLIFFHANGERS ILL BE FINE.

i justttt need caitvi in s2. i need them to kiss. i am not asking for a lot. need them to kiss and for literally jinx, and several people to NOT die.

anyway whoops. thanks for sending me your thoughts aaaaa

[mueritos]

I hope this doesn’t sound dumbass hell but like I thought aro or ace people didn’t like to have sex? I’m confused? Like I know they can be gay but I thought it was like roommate type relationship. Without sex yk? Am I dumb???! Help pls

Haha its okay! Im on the aromantic spectrum, and Im not asexual, so i usually say I feel all the horno but not much of the romo. Im actually quite a loving person, and I suppose Im on break? With my boyfriend of nearly 3 yrs rn, but even though I do ID on the aromantic spectrum, dating is something that is possible for me. I personally know a few ace and aro people in my life. My best friend is asexual and doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all, whereas I dont need romantic attraction to want to be with someone. I can eventually build up that romantic attraction, but its very abstract for me because the way I navigate non-platonic relationships looks a lil different than how other people do. Some ace people like to have sex or can have sex, some dont and some really hate it. Some aro people love to date, while others do not and night feel repulsed by it. What youre thinking of are queer platonic relationships, but not every ace or aro person wants or has them. If u want more specific experiences, theres lots of aro and ace centric blogs on here that r great :)

[codeform]

I just saw your posts about gender for that Clu person, and based on their responses, I think this is someone who is dealing with a lot of uncertainty and they were hoping for a certain answer for their question. Maybe not a permanent one, but a springboard or starting point. They are probably looking for a starting point that's a little more specific than 'whatever u want' because I think they might've said (or suggested) they aren't sure what they want.

Your answers are correct, of course, but speaking from personal experience on other topics, it can be frustrating asking for a simple yet specific answer (in this case, that would be an answer like 'cis male' or 'transfem') and getting only broad generalities. Might I suggest supplying them with some terms that seem to be a pretty close fit to what they described? You wouldn't be labeling them, you'd just be giving them some things to Google so they can see if it fits them. A place to start their gender identity journey from (because some people do feel more secure when they have that 'label' and this person might be one of those. And that's completely okay if they need that.)

Hope this helps you and them!

i Absolutely agree w u anon! but (and i am speaking as sm1 whose early exploration was almost entirely based off of discussions w highschool friends— all 2nd hand information. which is its own can of worms hsdfjkjs) i do think its important to like. do that initial footwork yourself?

bc (n im glad u agree!) there is just no neat answer!! esp not w nonbinary genders!! I (a man who has a very weird gender itself) am still constantly learning!! and i did edit one of my rbs but idk if Hal saw, but i think a very good place to start is less "what is upsetting me abt my gender" but rather "what is making me happy" — this is just generally a less painful jumping-off point too, bc its usually easier to work through when you're confused (its a lot to unpack upset/pain/confusion at the SAME TIME!!! not fun)

i will stick by honestly wikipedia as a genuinely useful surface level resource. install shinigami eyes so u dont wind up on transphobic sites and it has a solid rundown of both your "basic" terms and the history of the community, especially bc it is very hard if impossible to get an answer when youre asking sm1 else "heres what i feel now what am i." skhsdhf

and no hate!!! genuinely!!! thats a very easy place to wind up in, where u just WANT a clear-cut answer from sm1 else, but like i said b4: nobody knows you better than YOU!! i think theres like. this idea that we all just Knew and the truth is no, i promise we did not. we have all googled "nonbinary definition" "demigender definition" "neopronouns definition" i went thru 2 whole entire genders b4 i settled on Man and MORE AFTER THAT before settling on Man But Weird

AND ALSO. i am open to questions!!!!!!! but i am A WEIRD DUDE W AUTISM AND I AM NOT BUILT FOR MAKING SENSE!!!!! i promise i AM trying!!! and will continue to try!!! but it is abt to be June and pride is this month and wholeheartedly go to your local pride events if you are confused!!!!!! take to queer ppl who are both prepared to answer questions AND can provide much more relevant, local(!!!) resources — and talk to queer elders!!!! meet the coolest people in the world forever!!!!

but yea to circle back 2 th point i was like. Trying to make. doing that initial footwork yrself is the easiest i think bc you know you. i promise even tho it seems daunting it WILL ultimately be less confusing than trying 2 play 2nd hand telephone even if yr playing w friends (like i did. not ideal — wasnt safe for me to research myself but still Not Ideal)

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

hate remembering random times ive hung out with friends that like could never happen again bc i either dont speak 2 that person anymore or bc we have a much more fragile relationship now. like i remember a time it was one of the first hot as balls days of the year n my friend had recently moved schools but they had the day off so they met me when i finished school n we walked back 2 their place. then we went to the laundromat w their clothes n since it was completely empty we put on some music 2 chill 2 while we waited. so we just kinda existed doin mundane shit together yaknow. or like another time where w that same friend i went round theirs n we bullshitted round their kitchen tryna make shit but failing miserably yaknow but havin fun and i remember i made a voice rec of abt 5 minutes and i havent listened to it ever. or w a different friend back when i was like 11 we just got on a bus 2 see where wed go n we went to a park n bought some snacks n chilled in the park 4 ages and it started raining n we caught the bus back when the rain got heavier.or like laterthat year in the summer when wed hang out like every day and sit by the river doing whatever 11 yr olds do and just havin fun nshit. man i miss that now hanging out w friends is just like hey u wanna hang out. okay but i gotta b home in an hour 2 revise. and then u go out and talk abt school and family and then u hug goodbye and then ur gone. or hanging out is. hey u free saturday. nah got family stuff what abt next thursday. sorry all booked that day. and then next thursday becomes 3 months time. i might text the first friend bc eventho they wontrespond and also i think we hate each other ? its fine texting bc they live a city away and the worst that can happen is an awkward conversatio,.

[neopuppy]

I just got caught with everything on here and your stories. Again, you’re amazing and so is your writing. That being said I saw someone say that nctblr feels dead and I’ve felt the same. I think one problem is the policing that some people on tumblr do. Writers can express themselves and their delusions despite it literally being “fan fiction” without someone getting triggered and jumping down their throats.

The other reason is the lack of support. I’ve seen writers like yourself and others stating again and again, likes are okay but they don’t do anything. REBLOG! I’ve tried to help as much as I can when I can but I am only one person.

Maybe one day people will wake up and realize if they want content to stay they need to participate in it. Anyway, wishing you all the best wishes 👋

ty friend🩷🩷

policing is a BIG one and has always been. after writing for 2 fandoms for some time now I see the giant difference and how I felt isolated from nctblr- the other writers have been quite evil towards me during my span here as well. there is no ‘community’ only bullshit competitions. they instigate the hate toward people like me who dont write the standard genres on here worse than the readers.

I just saw a tweet saying “Jeno oppa, OPPA JENO.” and thought to myself how I need to write something……but then I immediately scratched that thought with “not for tumblr though.” because the weird rules on here abt whats allowed to be written is ridiculous. like that Shameless fic…..have gotten a few comments on that one that I just blocked right away bc who the fuck do u think u are coming on MY fucking account reading MY fucking writing and then continuing to comment some BULLSHIT? BYEEEEEE.

I think I’ll be able to write more of what I want to write on patreon, sorry everyone but I do not feel comfortable sharing all of my writing on here publicly anymore due to the way I have been treated by this fandom for yrs🙄

why do I make the effort to add warnings when someone will still proceed to read and get mad🤣

as a whole I think nct aren’t as….desired? like most of my readers are located in foreign countries actually😅 whereas other fandoms(skz, ateez, bts, enha, etc) its a lot of the western fans reading/writing which imo attracts more engagement, maybe language barrier or just🤷🏻‍♀️ who knows.

for as long as I have been on here 127 fics have been deceased and people only rly cared about Dream, which is rly sad. if they do pop puss for any 127 fic its always Jaehyun, so whatever.

I still love nct, so I’m still here for now😁🩷

[ladysophiebeckett]

also i need to complain about ysblf fic i skim read. i thought i would enjoy it bc it’s au 5 yrs into the future--a ‘what if they didnt get back together and found their way back to each other’. a second chance fic if u will. and im usually down for that bc i like angst but oh my god. this was...bad. i dont mean like, bad writing. (i mean it wasnt great bc a lot it was ‘and then this happened and this happend’ and not enough dialogue’). like the writer thought they were writing a feminist take. like, im not even 100 percent sure a woman even wrote it. bc...idk. 

it takes place after she rejects him at the bar with michel. and armando’s like ‘i promise to stay away from you and never hurt u again. i simply dont want u to hate me. i only wish that if we ever see other again, u acknowledge me’. 

and i was down for that. 

but then. 

betty leaves ecomoda, and nicolas stays as president. she goes to cartagena and dates michel for 8 months. and then leaves him. also, she doesnt go back to bogota. she takes different jobs at different banks or something. and has different boyfriends. just leads an independent modern life away from her parents. which....okay. canon betty loves her parents and even wanted to take them with her to cartagena. but okay. 

then its 5 yrs later and she sees armando again and he’s different. but betty’s like ‘thats my man’. but like, its them but its not. like, these are just characters with their names. betty, even tho shes like 30 something, acts really reckless and immature. and armando isn’t a yeller anymore. and also he tells her that he almost got married to someone two years ago and she freaks out. 

ALSO mario is suddenly a good person bc he knocked a women up and now he has to be a single dad. marcela is suddenly not a mean person ever since she got married and had a baby. and they kill off armando’s sister for angst. and his parents suddenly love him. meanwhile, the writer took it upon themselves to make hermes a completely terrible man and make her mom envious of betty’s independence. towards the end, she brings armando back to bogota, but she visits her parents alone. and hermes calls her a whore bc he knows about her various relationships and bc she’s living with armando sans marriage and he also he doenst like armando. and then he hits beatriz. and then armando finds out and he beats the shit of hermes. and then beatriz gets mad at him????

it’s so crazy and not in a fun way. like, the writer really went out of their way to make her parents bad ppl but redeem his parents. 

and here’s the kicker---at the end they elope to vegas and have a son instead of a daughter. oh and they live in berlin. 

i didnt even get into the sex scenes that i was like ???????? bc one chapter literally had an authors note  saying that their male friend complained that sex scenes in fanfic were always about women’s pleasure and they wrote this chapter for their friend that that wasn’t always the case. 

so the author is either a man themselves or a woman with a strong case of ‘pick me’. i dont know. i just know i was horrified. 

[midnightmisadventures]

HAHAHA guys im LIVINGGGGG I got my alpha dream lmaoooo

I honestly am dying like what a funny life to live. I-, as you all know i got drunk and followed alpha last night. Put his government on the TL like an idiot.

Earlier today he accepted me and followed me back and it....was overall underwhelming. Which duh it should be, I DONT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR ALPHA. Like not even sexual at this point idk...like its not there. But the biggest thing is that, fucking mk, lenina crowne herself was all over the page. I was like fuck, the reason this was supposed to be fun and silly was that i thought he was single. Like i had no idea they were STILL together are you kidding me?

And yea here I am scrolling through pics of them being hot and intensely making out and being the barbie and ken we all remember them to be. And nothing. No emotion, no stomach drops. Happy 4 them! Hope they are great lmao. Its so crazy how a pic of them on my timeline 5 years ago today would make me sob. But i was like, im cured yall

From september 4, 2018 to today. I finally did it, not you not ever. I mean talk about detaching.

Anyways, it was whatever, now we follow eachother. We'll see if he unfollows after he jerks off like last time. But i take a midday nap, and i get my FUCKING alpha dream bitches. Uni said ask and u shall recieveeeeeeee hahaha im so weak.

It was a classic chip party. All of florida was there, extended family, lots of dogs. In my dreams lately ive been like "late" to get ready. Like people are arriving and im like omg, i need to change into my outfit, my hairs a mess, give me 15mins. So that was sort of happening here. Guests were arriving and I was trying to run upstairs before people saw me. And.....apparently i invited alpha?? for line fun?? but i didnt think he would come and also no other of my friends or like people my age or from highschool showed up. Like it was supposed to be like a throw away invite for the drama and ehhh if he shows up he can talk to other people he knows. But i NEVER expected him to show up and i DIDNT think no one else would be there??

But it wasnt awkward that....more of my friends werent there. Like it wasnt like "ha ha ur a loser" embarrassing. Alpha was chillin, the big deal was that we hadnt seen eachother in forever, and now he was in my house and he was just making me nervous like i didnt wanna talk to him.

So , lots was going on. Also he brought lenina? So again, wasnt super weird but i just all in all didnt feel like talking to Alpha and lenina haha sue me. But whatever, suddenly i start seeing him make eye contact with me and rounding corners like looking at me, and no lenina. So im like....okay idk where the gf is but he's obviously trying to....give looks, as me 5 yrs ago would say. And i was like okay well, i am the only one here who is his age and not my family i should probably talk to him since i invited him.

So i was in the pantry in the chip kitchen and he just comes to the side of the table and just sits down legs spread, facing me not saying anything. Black tshirt.....most likely grey sweats. Which isnt a coincidence that hyfr was wearing that too but i'll get to that.

So i was like, ugh i have to bite the bullet and talk to him, and i still wasnt dressed. But he was sitting right next to me on purpose, so im like in the pantry, and i look over like "hey alpha, w-whats whats up?" like STUTTERING i literally hated myself for being nervous but he was making me nervous lmao. Like ahh stop.

I was like "how have you been??" like genuinely acknowledging that i havent seen him in forever and i have no idea what he's been up to. And he was being very alpha and coy and sly smiled, but then he opened his mouth lmaooo.

Tell me how this man says, "honestly i've just been pretty stoned a lot"

UHHMMM WHAT. Tell me whats weirder, hyfr trying to convince me via dream that he's into big brother or alpha via dream trying to convince me he's a STONER. Like the walking tight assed ken doll. Mr, "thats pretty bad" smoking weed aLL tHe TiMe like bull shit, Liam you keep slipping up that its just actually you.

Its so funny to me, that Liam is impersonating all of my exes via dream and doesnt actually know anything about them....so he's filling the blanks, but in doing so he exposes himself. Cause MAYBE i can believe that hyfr is like?? into bb? but no one is gonna convince me that alpha is some heavy stoner. Also the black tee and grey sweats is the last thing i saw Liam in so its absolutely not a coincidence.

Anyway, rightfully so i'm like "wait reallllyyyyyyyyy" like kinda turned on haha i was so shocked but i was like okayyy alpha the stoner like lets go smoke babe thats hot. And i was so shocked so i started asking like "did you smoke in high school or did u start after highschool?" basically like tell me more. And he started trying to explain, and i dropped what i was doing in the pantry and gave him my full attention and we were sorta being flirty, but he kept trying t talk, but over in the den my dad and erikka were having this deep discussion and i was overhearing it, and they were talking about eating, and ed, and stuff that couldve easily been directed to me but i was like so confused like is erikka having eating issues? so i kept trying to eavesdrop and was getting distracted.

And then i would turn back to alpha and be like "im so sorry can you say that again, i was distracted by my sister" and he'd be like "yea so..." and start talking again. By the way he's sitting on a stool and im in front of him, but over and over i kept getting distracted about what erikka and dad were talking about. Like they were talking about how much she was eating in a day and what her appetite was like, and i mean obv that relates to me in someway so idk.

But....somehow, alpha also overheard and was like wait maybe i shouldnt be talking about how much weed i smoke/you smoke in front of your dad and your sister bc that plays into appetite and i gues he was trying to be sensitive but also in a silly way so he was like "nevermind, i should have never brought it up"

and i was like "no no no lmao you can keep going" and we were giggling. and he was just like "no, it seems like a touchy subject i wont-"

So then i was laughing, so i playfully touched his arm with my shoulder and it wasnt a big deal but i felt him flinch like- uhhh woops dont do that. Like he didnt say anything but i felt him flinch a little. And i was thinking in my head like.....is it bc he has a gf i didnt think that was that weird.

So then im like leaving upstairs to go get ready and im like "okay okay alpha we're continuing this conversation later, im serious, im gonna come find you in a few and we're talking about this" like being jokey and cute and he was like "uh huh okay lol"

And i ran upstairs to get ready.

[sodrippy]

i know this is me being the unhealthy one but the way people are just like. emotional on main is so weird to me, like, um?? ur emoting? grow up fhdcxnm

[heeseongism]

Can you do a mutual appriciation post pls?

Love your works ! Slay bestie 💪🏻💜✨

Ooh okay !! Im rlly bad at writing sappy messages tho so bare with me 😭 also im going thru my following list as im writing so this isnt in any particular order <3 also ty @sluttyenha for re-sending this ily

@foxdaisy MY PRECIOUS DAISYYY 🥺 notice how i said my daisy? Thats bcs shes mine so all of u hoes better back off, daisy should srsly have the Guinness world record for most adorable person in the world bcs my god shes the cutest 🤧 always so so supportive of all her mutuals and never has anything bad to say abt anyone, shes rlly reminds me of this one mutual i used to have on my old acc and it just made me feel so at home on this new blog <33 daisy rlly just deserves the world, she's just that one friend that you can always count on to brighten up your day 💕 i always look forward to the asks that she sends me and ngl i feel my eyes watering sometimes by how adorable she is :( we’re always active at different time but whenever we do interact it makes me rlly appreciate and love her <3

@sunghoonalter raven, oh god where do i start. raven first and foremost is my bae so everyone back off bcs she is MINE MY PROPERTY 🔪 yes i have claimed both raven and daisy deal with it (i may claim some of my other mutuals so beware) shes also my no 1 angst writer even tho i hate reading it bcs it crushes my heart but I'll read it for her ✋😔 honestly raven deserves way more than shes getting on this hellsite BCS WHY TF ARE YALL SLEEPING ON HER DAMN GOD GIVEN WRITING SKILLS?!?!?!? WAKE UP AND APPRECIATE HER FFS shes the cutest girl in the world with her bambi eyes and might i say beautiful lips 😩 also her humor >>>>>>> it makes me love her even more than i alr do. We may disagree on some stuff (her being bambi and sunghoon having tiddies) but i still love her nonetheless ! I hope ive made her tumblr experience just a little bit better just like she did with mines ❤

@hee-pster - jan my fellow girl boss and lifeline is by far THE LOVELIEST person ive met on this site and im not even over exaggerating. She was the first person i properly interacted with and she immediately made me feel so comfortable on her and ilh for that 😭 she rlly deserves all the praise and love that she recieves bcs shes just such a kind, funny, and bubbly mutual who im proud to call my friend :( shes also hilarious and i love how we can both match each others energy, shes such a beautiful person and i just know shes beautiful on the outside too 😔 we wouldnt be able to handle a face reveal 💔 i rlly do love her, so much that words cant explain how much she means to me, I'll always try my best to be her supportive moot 💕 I hope she always remembers to take care of herself bcs life can be an ass sometimes <3

@jaylaxies aria aka the president of coochie clenching smuts AKA MY QUEEN 😩 WHY IS NOBODY ON THEIR KNEES BOWING TO HER FEET RN??? She is just so so hardworking and i rlly admire her for her perseverance despite all the obstacles she faces on her blog. Shes such a gorgeous person inside and out and shes still so humble even after gaining a massive follwoung which makes me love her sm more. Shes just one of the ppl who im extremely proud to call my friend bcs its not every day you meet someone as amazing aria, shes a rare gem fr 💕💕 I want to give her the world and to protect her from all the hate but sadly im merely a 19 yr old with multipe deficiencies and couldnt fight for my life without shattering my bones. However i hope that my love and affection can help her even if its in the tiniest way possible. Shes honestly one of the sweetest ppl ive met on here and i always look forward to her posts and when we interact :(

@end-hyphen MY LITTLE 5'2" GENIE IN THE BOTTLE 🧞‍♀️ ik alot of ppl say this but genie rlly is just like a big bundle of sunshine and she never fails to make my day whenever i see her in my notifications :( literally a free package of positivity like WHAT DID I DO IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE BEING BLESSED BY SUCH A WHOLESOME HUMAN BEING ??? We haven't been mutuals for very long but i rlly hope our friendship can last for a very very long time bcs tumblr would be so lifeless without her, the happiness would literally be drained out of my tumblr experience ngl 😭 im always looking forward to when we interact and just seeing her interactions with other ppl on my dash makes me so happy that theres still sm positivity despite all the hate anons ew,, genies rlly is just a beautiful person both inside and out and i wish her all the happy things in life!

@jaysbiceps amy or should i say my angel in disguise and by disguise i mean KINKY LEATHER CORSET,, i legit never wouldve expected someone as sweet and GORGEOUS as her could be this sexy but im loving it. Amy is probably the person i dm the most on here, and shes just the cutest most adorable mutual i could ever wish for. Shes so supportive and is always checking up on me which i appreciate vv much, whenever i say i love her i rlly do mean it. I love our talks whether its abt being horny or screaming abt random drama she never fails to make me laugh even if im having a rough day :( She deserves all the love and happiness in the world and i hope she doesnt have to deal with nasty anons anymore bcs or else i will personally go to their house and drain the happiness in them and then gift it to amy.

@shu-ramyeonz shu is... chaotic to say the least... BUT SHES MY CHAOTIC BAE (another one added to the list hehe fight me if u object) I love how she always acts so friendly with ppl even if its the first time they've interacted she acts as if they've know eachother forever nd have gone thru 5 divorces together 😔 I admire her sm for her confidence and positivty despite all the haters in her inbox who hve nothing better to do. also she looks exactly like a pinterest girl THE ENVY UGH 🤧 anyways i love her sm she's always hyping me up and complimenting me for no reason whatsoever which never fails to cheer me up 💕

@hwxnghyynjin BILLIE MY HANDSOME BOY, firstly can we just appreciate how god damn sexy he is bcs the fact that there isnt a billie visuals appreciation day where we all cry over how hot he is doesnt sit right with me 🤨 billie is a mutual of mine from my old acc so we go WAYYY BACK and i can't think of any other mutual i would rather have find this acc (well technically i told him but who cares) he is the cutest bean ever and his smile is so so so so precious it just lights me up inside hes so cute sjakhska :(( someone stop me im fangirling anyways billie is just the light of my life rlly and we dont interact much nowadays but i still feel so comfortable with him which is a huge thing for me. I just love him 😭

@lunarxsun luna is the cutest most adorable most precious person to exist istg words cant explain how hard working she is, i rlly hope one day she gains the recognition she deserves bcs her ocs are SO GOOD 😩 shes always so positive no matter what the haters say and i love that abt her. She's always coming into my ask box to give a little hello and i rlly appreciate it so so much, she's always thinking abt those around her and u can tell she genuinely loves her mutuals, shes such a good person and im manifesting with her that she meets her future husband at the COOL club ;)

@clelevanters tala is an angel that was sent down by god for being too horny and i will stand by that statement 😤 she rlly was blessed by god with those stunning visuals and stunning voice too?? Apparently she sings and im crying bcs i haven't heard her heavenly voice yet 😭 shes such a positive bundle of energy and i love when she randomly pops into my ask box simping over enha or the dark moon characters sjsjsksj tala also shares my pegging kink ugh could she get any better. Shes yet another one of my mutuals who i just wanna protect with all my might and also the fact that shes younger than most of us makes her so babie :( enhablrs babygirl me thinks

@polalvsjy MAE IS THE HUMAN PERSONIFICATION OF COTTAGECORE ISTG SHES SO SOFT AND CUTE except she listens to chase atlantic- shes one of the most beautiful person ive seen im not even joking. She gives off HUGE golden retriever vibes and its so adorable 😭 literally jakes soulmate in my opinion. She's also extremely talented LIKE FIRST SHES AN AMAZING WRITER AND THEN I FIND OUT SHE CAN SING LIKE AN ANGEL, DRAW LIKE PICASSO AND DANCE?!?!? God truly does have favorites 🤧 i always look forward to seeing her on my dash and in my inbox <33 i feel like it’d be rlly nice to just have a picnic with her and talk abt anything bcs shes so easy to speak with <3

@forjongseong NANA IS LITERALLY MY SOULMATE ATP HER MUSIC TASTE IS CHEFS KISS SHE ALSO LISTENS TO MAYE TOO SO LIKE 😍 once again a very very very talented mutual of mines,, her carmesi series OH MY GOD SHE MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SECRETARY!JAY AGENDA. We actually dont interact as much as it feels like we do bcs i just feel so comfortable with her and i love that abt her, i love how shes such a kind inviting person and also extremely pretty too might i say 👀 shes adorable and her love for jay is even more adorable skjndk i always look forward to seeing nana on my dash and i hope we can become even closer!!

@drunkjaked SAX IS ALSO MY SOULMATE STFU she introduced me to kehlani and i’ll always love her for that 💕 we also havent interacted much but it feels like shes a lifelong friend whenever we talk with eachother! Shes such a talented writer and im proud to be mutuals with such a sweet and funny person such as her. I hope that in the future we can become closer friends and i hope she takes care of herself <33

@donghoonie-3 AVERY MY LOVE istg describing how precious they are is impossible, i always love seeing them interact with other ppl on my dash, and HE ALSO SHARES MY LOVE FOR SUBBY HOON 🥹 the best sub!hoon blog on here imo. I dont have much to write bcs we dont interact much but i truly do love and care for them <33

@hee-pot @vivvys @robyncore @4hsng @thots4hee @softforqiankun @amourhee @svnoohe4rts @muffinminnie @criceofpain @blond4enha @sluttyenha @taekookstiddiemilk @nyanggk @valley-of-lies @2minbin @heetro @pandorasblogbcuzican @tfwheeseung @yunskies @jinfie-lvr ILY GUYS I RLLY DO BUT WE HAVENT INTERACTED ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE ANYTHING 😭 but i srsly do love u all equally and i hope we can interact more in the future mwah <33 also if i missed out any moots the same goes for you guys

[sweatermuppet]

sweater do you think poetry needs to be good? like cant it be simple? i love photography/collages that are more sober if just like a very intimist phase in it just rlly touch me and i was thinking about starting doing it but im afraind its just so bad and silly, what if it goes by "constant stream of shitty overwrought nonsense labeled as 'poetry'"? i love your work so muuuch im happy that you exists and let me get touched by your art ilv S2

a big fear i had when i first started writing poetry was being too simple. i had to fluff everything with figurative language. sometimes i still feel that way & it really stems from the fact that ppl didn't care abt me crying for help unless it was poetic. i couldn't just say "im hurting, come hold me". that'd been said before. i got praise for making my suffering into poetry so i only ever showed ppl the real floral, complicated stuff.

it's okay to be simple. it's also okay to be cliché & straightforward & not poetic at all. sometimes the aesthetic of writing is entirely secondary to the emotional response a single statement makes. you don't have to dress things up for them to have value.

it's inevitable someone isn't gonna like yr poetry. they'll think yr unoriginal or too simple to "get" poetry or find some other reason. doesn't make yr poetry bad, just means someone THINKS it is. it's never as dire as it seems. everyone is just someone. even the famous poets, they're just someone.

even now i struggle with feeling silly or embarrassing, but i encourage you to write. write simply & use clichés. write as ridiculously as you want. for all the evils of the internet, there is the good feeling of knowing you'll make, at the VERY least, one positive connection with yr art. the net is so wide, you'll make one fan or one friend no matter where u start. back in the 60s & 70s all u had were the people around u or publishing companies—& it was more likely you'd get rejected than hear smthng nice back. & you'll still meet rejection now, you'll still have people hate u, but it's sooo much easier to find little communities that aren't paywalled or elitist. there's value in yr writing. ppl are going to reassure you of that.

much love to you!

[elytrafemme]

i wrote like a massive rant about the way english/literature is taught in highschool (i know nothing of how it is in college and i suspect is varies from college to college) and realized that it is just simply not necessary. however i understand your pain at least a little. last year in my honors english class (there’s no ap english classes at my school) the teacher had us do worksheets on narratives with the same crap on it that i did in like 3rd grade.

i am full of spite (almost said sprite, which i haven’t had in a bit. except that one night where i tried salt and sprite) and i think i’ve learned more about literary analysis on youtube than in school. which might be a bold statement but i mean i didn’t do well in english till i started watching videos of people explaining how to write stories and ways to analyze them and stuff.

okay anyway good luck on your work and i realize this is just as unessisary as my long rant i didn’t sent so you can delete this if you wish. just sending you support and also like a solemn nod of understanding. glad to see it will not get better in any future year of school </3

hey jinx my bestie im half awake srry for response rambly yeah

LITERALLY. YEAH. it's sooooo ridiculous ive taken so many english classes that just tell me to do the same fucking busy work and i dont get what the difference is meant to be? just MORE work? thats not what we should be doing! that isnt analysis! im very passionate aobut this subject so it irks me heavily!

i dont like sprite but i do wonder what the salt and sprite experience is. and no literally i think class curriculum needs to do MORE abt teaching analysis and i think there r soooooo many amendments needed for English classrooms 2 do it. i could have done a project on it that might have actualy helped but nobody answered my god damn email so i guess that interview data just sits in my google docs now

ty my friednd <3 its ok i do love my classes next yr EXCEPT MULTIVARIABLE CALCULUS. and kind of choir I love choir but like everyone in that class except my best friend and one other girl hates me bc im a complete social recluse and kind of mean. im working on the latter one and the former well it makes me comfortable to be alone and i should allow that so long as i am not being rude abt it! constant character progression babyyy i amgetting kinder over time!!!!! but yes good luck 2 u too